#so just be aware of that if you're looking into it

[kamitv]

Husband!Sukuna who isn’t sensitive, he swears. But when it’s you? He’s still not sensitive. Just… alert, if you will. Tense even. But not sensitive. Affection starved? Perhaps, but he won’t ever say that to you.

Husband!Sukuna doesn’t even realize how much his body longs for your touch. In the beginning of your relationship with him, he used to curse you out for touching him too often but now? Ever so softly would Sukuna relax after a touch from you.

His favorite touches from you come from when you’re half-asleep.

Early in the morning, practically at the crack of dawn, you’d wake up and turn to your grumpy husband. He’s never truly asleep but he often pretends to be, something you’d picked up on a long time ago.

Even so, he’d feel you move around in the bed but what always gets him is you tossing your leg over him and laying half of your body on top of his, your head using his naked chest as a pillow.

Husband!Sukuna swears he hates when you do that—or that’s what he tells you anyway. Then comes your hand, snaking up his chest, feeling every cut and crease of his abs until you reach his neck.

Then your finger is outlining his jawline. That drives him mad, such a soft and faint touch that makes him swallow thickly as he body struggles not to react to you.

He’s not sensitive. But he is tense.

Following those gentle touches is something you'd never dare to do when you're not in your sleep-induced state. You sit up and comfort yourself right on his lap, thighs spread over your husband, who's currently pretending to be asleep.

Though, his false state of rest falters when you get on top of him, your hands pressed so lightly on his chest and your panty-clad cunt resting right over his rising cock. He really was a simple male at heart, despite not showing it or expressing it much, if ever at all.

Eyes cracking open and settling on you, the woman in which he's decided to claim as his wife, your Husband!Sukuna releases a long sigh and his hands begin to move, finding their rightful place on your thighs.

Your skin is so fucking soft in comparison to his own, rough fingers caressing your thighs as Sukuna swears he's dreaming because just who exactly has given you permission to mount him in such a sexual manner?

"Woman," Sukuna grunts out, "Get off me."

A smile, one that he enjoys seeing deep deep deep down inside, graces your tired features and it makes his body freeze up a little, "Husband," You call out mockingly, "Has anyone ever told you how handsome you look while you're sleeping?"

"No." He answers boringly.

You chuckle and it makes his ears twitch, "Are you aware that even in your sleep your brows tense up?" You murmur to the man as you take one finger and bring it up to his brows, poking the space in between them, "Hm?"

His grouchy facial expression doesn't change, "I am now," He replies, voice raspy and making you squirm slightly in his lap, "Are you aware that after being fucked for five hours straight you wake up the next morning annoying me more than normal?"

Your head tilts as you flash him those loving eyes of yours with a grin far too cheerful for these early mornings, "I'm annoying you?"

"Yes." He deadpans.

"Aw," You weigh forward over your husband and plant a sweet kiss right onto the skin of his tatted forehead, "Love you too 'Kuna."

There's this weird chill that shudders throughout his body as your lips press against his skin and he frowns before muttering, "Get off of me."

Your grin widens and you plant a few more pecks of affection all over his aggravated expression, "Mmmmmh, no."

"Insufferable you are, truly." Sukuna sighs and his big hands travel upward along the softness of your thighs, soothing over your legs back and forth in a way that's almost tender.

Your lips meet his jaw and you lick him, to which he kisses his teeth. "You said the same thing during our wedding night I believe," You remind him.

A thick brow of his arches, "And?"

"I think being mean is your love language." You lean back up and stare down at the full glory of your husband.

Ruby red eyes all low up on you, almost as if you were the only thing worth gazing upon, "Mh." He hums.

The look on your face changes a bit as the sun peeking into your bedroom filters around your sleeping space and casts a warm glow against your grumpy husband's features. You run your hands down his tattooed chest again and whisper his name beneath your breath, "Sukuna..."

He glares at you, like always, and his tone is beyond flat, "Woman."

And suddenly you're smiling, "Ryomen."

"Don't," He huffs before rolling his eyes elsewhere. You only ever call him that when you're about to say-

"I love you."

It's quiet for a long awkward moment, as always whenever you utter those three words to him. Husband!Sukuna can't stand it when you say that. It's such a ridiculous thing for humans to say.

So, instead of saying it back, he just grumbles an (attempted) affectionate, "I tolerate you too."

As always, you're left baffled by the difficulty he finds in saying he loves you too, "I-"

"Now get off me, I won't tell you again." Your husband scoffs with this cute, yet still grumpy, scrunch of his nose.

Just staring down at him makes you want to devour him whole. How can this big softy possibly be the king of curses who many fear to much.

Hell, you don't even hesitate to reply to his order with one of your own, "Make me."

Who would expect anything less from the wife of Sukuna Ryomen, of course you don't follow his every command like everyone else, he married you for that reason exactly. "Testing my patience early today, huh?" Sukuna asks, giving you little to no time to reply before he's moving.

Now, sometimes you forget the sheer size difference between you and your husband. Which is completely okay, he's sure to remind you of it within a few seconds as he flips you over onto your back and pins you down onto the bed below.

Pink hair all ruffled, expression as pouty and irritated as always, like some kinda' big cat, and beefy arms pinning you with a force that's so notably gentle you can't help the smile that sparks across your face.

Giggling too, "Hi Ryo'."

He grits his teeth at the sound of that nickname but the corner of his lips twitch, "....Hi wife." Sukuna say begrudgingly. Then... Then comes your full smile. "Don't make that face, you look foolish."

"I'm smiling?" You snort as your brows meet.

He scoffs, "Foolish."

Your hands rise up to his face to cup in your palms, to which he instantly leans into your touch. "It's okay to soften up every now and then, y'know."

His gaze does exactly that and he presses his cheek further against the warmth of your hands, "This is me softening up."

"You do so very poorly," You tell him honestly.

And to your surprise, Sukuna blinks. "Teach me, then."

"Hm?"

He leans down, past your touch, and whispers against your lips, "Teach me to be soft." He says lovingly before kissing you.

You merely melt into the connection of his lips to yours. Your arms loop around his neck and you hold him close as you pry from him to whisper right back, "It's not hard, just... talk nicer to me."

His eyes narrow skeptically, "Is that truly what you want?"

"I wouldn't mind it, yes." You taunt with a little shrug.

With a heavy sigh, Sukuna repositions his large body in between your legs, "Just for now then."

You look down and scoff lightly, "Hm?"

"I'll be 'soft" while you rid me of this," He continues, pressing the large curve of his hardened cock right against your flimsy panties.

Your eyebrows shoot up and your lashes bat at his words, "Oh, so you're gonna talk me through it for once?"

Sukuna draws his hips back just a little, only to rock the forwards against your warm clothed cunt seconds latter, chuckling cockily, "Don't I always?"

Your lips pull into a thin line, as best as you can, while you glare up at him, "No, you curse me through it."

"You enjoy it," He says with a shrug., working up that delicious friction between his body and yours.

Your gaze wonders elsewhere for a mere moment as you allow your legs to then wrap around his waist and encourage his grind against you. Then, with parted lips and a shaky sigh, "Yes, but it'd be nice for you to talk nicer to me sometimes."

"Mhm," Sukuna nods genuinely. Surely, whatever his wife desires of him... he'll be sure to put forth his best effort in satisfying said desire, "I will try. Now, let's get all this off of you..."

[luv-lock]

... # ☆ GOLDEN BOY .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☆⁠ 𝘗𝘈𝘐𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎 : Robin Dick Grayson x Fem Reader

☆⁠ HEADCANON : 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 (𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯).

☆⁠ NOTES : 𝘛𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!

It starts off innocently enough—just a little crush. You sit near him in class, maybe one row over, and you’re one of the only people who genuinely sees him, not as Bruce Wayne’s ward, not as the golden boy acrobat, but just Dick. The first time you smile at him? Oh, he’s done for. It’s over. That bright, genuine expression you give him after he cracks a dumb joke sends his heart into overdrive. He’s replaying it in his head for weeks. He starts noticing everything about you. The way you twirl your pen when you’re thinking, the soft hum you let out when you're focused, how your eyes light up when you talk about something you love. He starts making excuses to talk to you. “Hey, do you have the notes from last class?” even though he has a perfect memory. “Do you get the homework? I think I missed something.” He just wants to hear your voice, to make you focus on him.

At first, it’s all sweet, dorky teenage boy vibes. But then it starts getting a little intense. He watches you when you’re not looking—not in a creepy way (okay, maybe a little), but in a memorizing everything about you way. He just wants to understand you. What makes you laugh? What makes you frown? Who do you talk to the most? If you mention liking a certain song, you bet he’s listening to it on repeat that night. If you mention a favorite book, he’s reading it in one night just so he can bring it up casually. He adores hearing you say his name. He swears it sounds different coming from your lips. Whenever you do, he fights the urge to grin like an idiot. He gets jealous so easily, but he doesn’t show it in an obvious way. It’s more of a subtle coldness toward any guy you talk to for too long. If someone flirts with you, he’s immediately analyzing everything about them, thinking, What does she see in him?

He’s Robin before anything else, and that means he’s naturally protective. Gotham’s dangerous, and even if you don’t know his secret, he makes it his job to keep you safe. If you're walking home late? He just so happens to be taking the same route. Coincidence? He’d never admit it. He pays attention to how people treat you. If anyone ever makes you uncomfortable, he remembers. Not that he’d ever do anything drastic (yet), but they might find themselves getting mysteriously unlucky.

He doesn’t mean to know so much about you—it just happens. It’s not weird that he remembers your schedule, right? Or that he noticed when you switched shampoos? Or that he can tell when something’s bothering you before you even say anything? He doesn’t mean to follow you home sometimes. He just… wants to make sure you’re okay. Gotham’s dangerous, and you don’t have training like he does. And he definitely doesn’t mean to get distracted on patrol whenever he sees someone who looks like you. But for a split second, he forgets Gotham’s crime rate and thinks, Is she out this late? He’s self-aware enough to know this isn’t just a normal crush. But it’s harmless, right? He’s just watching out for you. If you ever casually compliment him—“You’re really smart, Dick” or “I like being around you”—he malfunctions. Completely. And if you ever initiate contact? Oh, he’s done. Completely, utterly, hopelessly yours.

Dick is a puppy when it comes to you. The second you walk into the classroom, he perks up. If he’s sitting, he straightens his posture. If he’s standing, he suddenly finds something super interesting about the wall just to avoid looking too eager. He lives for those little moments of eye contact. If you catch him staring, he plays it off like he was lost in thought—but inside? His brain is melting. He starts doodling your name in the margins of his notebooks without even realizing it. One day, he catches himself writing “Mr. and Mrs. Grayson” in the corner of his notes and nearly dies on the spot. If you ever say something nice about his eyes? Oh, you’ve ruined him. He will think about that compliment for weeks. Every time he looks in the mirror, he wonders, Does she like them this way? Does she think they’re pretty?

Whenever the teacher asks a question, he needs to be the one who answers it. Not because he’s a know-it-all, but because he wants you to see how smart he is. If you're struggling with something—anything—he’s immediately offering to help. Bad at math? Boom, he's suddenly your personal tutor (even though he secretly hates math). Need a partner for a project? He's already pulling his desk closer before you can even ask. He randomly picks up new skills just because you mentioned liking them. If you say you love guitar players? Guess who suddenly owns a guitar and is watching hours of tutorials? Gym class becomes his personal Olympics. If you're watching, he's running faster, jumping higher, and doing flips that are completely unnecessary just to get your attention.

If you so much as sigh in class, he notices. “You okay?” His voice is so soft, full of genuine concern, and he will not rest until you tell him what’s wrong. He remembers everything you say. Mentioned craving a certain snack? He’s “randomly” bringing it to school the next day. Said you liked a certain brand of lip balm? He notices every time you put it on. If you’re ever sad, he’s ready to drop everything. The moment you look upset, he leans in, voice low and sweet, “Hey… talk to me.” He’ll listen so intently, nodding at all the right moments, just aching to fix whatever’s wrong. He’s a natural gentleman around you. Holding doors open, pulling out chairs, letting you borrow his jacket when it's cold (even if he’s freezing). It’s second nature to him—he just wants to take care of you.

If you miss a day of school? He’s restless. Checking his phone way too much, tapping his pencil, wondering where you are, if you’re okay, if you miss him too. The day you come back? He’s practically glowing. “Hey! You’re back!” His voice is a little too excited, but he can’t help it. He loves when you talk to him first. The moment you say, “Hey, Dick!” in the hallway, he lights up like a Christmas tree. If you touch his arm while laughing? Oh. He’s not getting over that for at least a month. If you’re ever even slightly affectionate with him—resting your head on his shoulder, holding onto his wrist absentmindedly—he’s gone. He replays that moment forever, sighing like a lovesick fool in his room at night.

He has so many little fantasies about you. Not weird ones—just soft, innocent daydreams. Holding hands. Walking you home. Kissing you under the stars like in the movies. He imagines what it would be like if you were his. If he could just tell you how much you mean to him, if he could wrap his arms around you whenever he wanted, if he could finally call you his. But for now, he’s content just being close to you, memorizing every little thing about you, waiting for the moment when you’ll finally see him the way he sees you. Because to him? You’re already his—you just don’t know it yet.

Dick has been thinking about this for weeks. No—months. He’s built up so many little fantasies about it in his head. He imagines it happening naturally, like in the movies—maybe you’ll both laugh at something at the same time, your eyes will meet, and you’ll just know. But no. That’s not realistic. He needs a plan. So, naturally, he overthinks everything. Should he ask casually? Should he write a note? Should he just confess dramatically in the rain? (That one’s his favorite idea, but Gotham’s weather isn’t cooperating.)

He starts dropping little comments like, “Hey, you ever been to that cute café downtown?” or “Do you like Italian food?” If you mention liking a certain place, guess who suddenly loves that place too? “Oh, you like that diner? No way! I love that diner. We should totally go sometime…” He tests the waters constantly. “Would you ever go out with someone from our class?” (Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes—)

He practices in the mirror. A lot. He even tries different tones—cool and casual (“Hey, wanna grab a bite with me?”), nervous but sweet (“I was, um, wondering if you’d maybe wanna go out?”), and even overly confident (“Obviously, you should go on a date with me.”). But the moment he actually sees you? Oh. His brain malfunctions. “Hey—uh—so—okay—hypothetically, if a guy—like me—were to, um, ask you to hang out—but like, not as friends, more like a date—what would you, uh… think?” The second he says it, he wants to die. That was NOT what he practiced. That was awful. But you laugh. Not at him—just at how adorably flustered he is. And oh, if your laugh wasn’t already his favorite sound, it definitely is now.

If you say yes? Oh. He short-circuits. He’s trying to stay cool, but inside? Explosions. Fireworks. The Bat-Signal shining just for him. “Really? I mean—yeah! Cool! Totally cool. Um, how’s Friday? Or Saturday? Or any day? I’m free. Like, always. For you.”

Once you say yes, he goes into full-on mission mode. He has to make this perfect. This isn’t just a date—it’s your first date together, meaning it has to be something you’ll remember forever. He spends an embarrassing amount of time deciding what to wear. He changes outfits at least five times before realizing, “Oh God, I’m worse than Bruce.” He arrives early. He tells himself not to, but he literally cannot be late. In fact, he’s been there so long that by the time you show up, he’s already memorized the entire menu.

When He Sees You… Oh. He’s gone. The moment he lays eyes on you, it’s like the world just stops. “Wow.” He says it without thinking, and then immediately tries to cover it up with a cough. “I mean—not that you don’t always look great! Because you do. All the time. But tonight? Wow.” (He is so embarrassing. And he does not care.)

He’s lowkey flexing. Not in an arrogant way, but in a please find me impressive way. He talks about his training (“I mean, gymnastics is kinda my thing…”), but downplays it like it’s not incredibly cool.

When you least expect it, he gets weirdly soft. He looks at you when you’re not paying attention, like he’s memorizing you. Like he can’t believe you’re real.

When he walks you home, he wants to hold your hand. He wants to kiss you, but he’s too nervous (what if it’s too soon? What if she doesn’t want that?) “I had fun tonight,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. He really wants to ask if he can kiss you. But instead, he blurts out— “So, um. Can I… take you out again?” (His voice is so hopeful—he looks like a puppy waiting for a treat.) Yes? Oh! Congratulations, you have just made his entire year. He’s smiling so hard all the way home, practically skipping. The second he gets home, he flops onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, sighing like a total fool. She said yes. She had fun. She’s gonna be mine. I just know it.

Oh. You have no idea what you’ve just signed up for. Dick is the most devoted boyfriend on the planet. He’s not just in love—he’s obsessed (in the cutest, puppy-eyed way possible). He still can’t believe you’re actually his. Every time he sees you at school, his heart flutters. He gets this dumb, lovesick smile on his face and can’t even hide it. If you so much as look at him in the hallway? Oh, he’s grinning like an idiot. If you say his name? His entire day is made. He constantly reminds himself, She’s my girlfriend now. I get to love her. I get to take care of her. And that? Oh, he will take that job very seriously.

He always waits for you after class. No matter where you sit, what you’re doing—he’s outside the door, waiting with a big grin. “Hey, babe.” (He’s still getting used to calling you that, but he loves it.) He carries your books without you even asking. If you have a heavy bag? He’s grabbing it before you can protest. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you carry all this, huh?” He starts noticing everything about you. Your little habits, the way you fidget when you’re nervous, the way you tilt your head when you’re thinking. He loves memorizing you.

Oh, he is so clingy, but he tries so hard to play it cool. He wants to be around you all the time. He has zero chill when it comes to other guys. The moment he notices some random dude even looking at you? His entire mood shifts. He doesn’t make a scene, but he gets super touchy. Arm around your shoulder. Hand on your waist. Pulling you closer. Just little things to remind everyone— She’s mine. If a guy gets too bold? Oh. Dick doesn’t get jealous—he gets possessive. He won’t start a fight (unless he has to), but his presence alone is enough to make people back off. “Everything okay, babe?” He asks, voice casual—but his grip on your waist tightens just a little.

He is so cheesy. He will literally text you “Good morning, beautiful ❤️” every single day. If you ever fall asleep on him? Oh. That’s it. That’s his favorite thing in the entire world. He’ll sit there, completely still for hours, just so he doesn’t wake you. He keeps every little thing you give him. If you write him a note? He treasures it. If you give him a silly doodle? He tucks it in his wallet. He gets so excited every time you touch him first. If you hold his hand, kiss his cheek, lean against him? He plays it cool on the outside, but inside? Explosions. “I’m gonna marry her one day,” he definitely tells himself after, staring at the ceiling like a fool.

In his mind? This is it. You and him? You’re meant to be. There is no future where you’re not together. He doesn’t just think about your future together—he fantasizes about it. What your life will be like. How he’ll propose one day. How you’ll be his forever. She loves me. She has to. She’s mine. If you ever mention breaking up? Oh. No. That isn’t an option. He can’t lose you. But he’s not crazy. No, no. He’s rational. If you ever tried to leave him, it would only be because you were confused. You just need to see how perfect you are together. And if that means proving his love over and over again? He’ll gladly do it. Because you are his.

You have officially unlocked the most devoted, lovesick, slightly delusional boyfriend ever. He worships the ground you walk on. He adores you. There is nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for you. In his mind? This isn’t just young love. This is forever.

𝒍𝒖𝒗-𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 ☆ 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.

[starrydyke]

Few more to add:

Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion. It can take a while, especially with NHS waiting lists, but if you haven't been listened to by the first doctor then it's always worth trying again

Do your research on the medications you're prescribed!! Be aware of how the medication is making you feel. Ask for an alternative if you're not comfortable with the medication they've offered

If you've got people in your life you can talk to, lean on them. Chronic illness is lonely as fuck and, as someone who didn't have anyone to talk to about what I was going through for years, even just mentioning it casually in conversation helps

If you don't have anyone in your life to talk to, try online support groups or even just follow people with similar experiences to you online if you don't feel comfortable sharing what you're going through

In some counties, the NHS offers free talking therapy, including a targeted pain and fatigue group. It might not be for everyone, but it could be worth checking out if you need extra support

Electrolytes are super helpful if you're low on energy and or find it difficult to stay hydrated. And you can get them in lots of different flavours!

Hot water bottles and TENS machines are god tier

I feel like it should go without saying, but people are disabled before they're diagnosed. If you don't have a diagnosis, you're still valid and your experiences matter. Getting a diagnosis can be ridiculously difficult. I had to wait for four years before I could even access the medical system because I didn't have my parents' support so I had to wait until I was 16. It then took another five years before I was diagnosed. It was during that time that I needed support the most, and didn't get it

KT tape can be really useful for stabilising joints (but be careful when taking it off if your skin tears easily). If you use KT tape, remember to round off the corners so it's less likely to peel off

Dealing with body image can be really difficult sometimes. Disability changes how your body feels and looks and it's difficult to come to terms with that. I haven't quite figured this one out myself yet (past get tattoos and take slightly nsft photos), but I'll let you know when I get there. I think it helps to try and reclaim your bodily autonomy so anything that gets you there I guess

If you make your own food, try batch cooking one pot dinners (chilli, stew, daal etc) so you only have to cook once a week and don't have much washing up to do

There's nothing wrong with sitting down to do something if it helps. Sit down to wash up. Sit down to shower. Sit down at a concert. Just sit down

Don't have the energy to shower? That's okay, you can use baby wipes for your body and a Freshwipes no rinse shower cap for your hair x

I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.

Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.

If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.

Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.

Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.

Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.

Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.

Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".

If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.

Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.

Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.

Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.

If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.

Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.

High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.

You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.

Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.

You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.

Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.

If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.

Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!

[itadorey]

𝐁𝐄𝐓 𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐓! — gojo satoru

pairing: gojo x gn!reader summary: little snippets showing how gojo satoru has always been a pain in your ass genre: fluff and angst #lol #soz word count: ~3k notes: sorry. spoilers for shibuya arc and onwards, mentions of jjk 236. also this is the only thing i've written in months so i'm kinda rusty

Gojo Satoru is a pain in the ass.

More specifically, he's a pain in your ass, especially once he discovered that you're so much easier to rile up than Utahime.

It starts in high school, with meaningless bets made between the two of you that all result in endless lectures and reprimands from your respective school principals. But it's hard for you to stop agreeing to these deals when Gojo offers you a week without his presence if you manage to win.

Victories for you have become more common in recent years, with you learning how to words your agreements in a sly way that makes Gojo huff out a little laugh whenever you manage to outwit him. But your losses far outweigh your triumphs and you constantly find yourself dragged onto missions or out to new restaurants whenever Gojo wins. Which happens to be pretty often.

"I bet that the first years can beat you in a fight," Gojo says, snickering when you shoot him a nasty look. He takes a step closer to you, pouting when you distance yourself from him and speed up.

"I bet you that they can't," you retort, unable to stop yourself from disputing his statement. You don't turn to look at him, merely grumbling under your breath when he easily matches your stride.

You have no idea how you've ended up here, transferred (against your will you might add!) to Tokyo Jujutsu High to teach alongside the only man who has ever made you feel feral. And not in a good way.

The very reason for your arrival is none other than Okkotsu Yuuta, an overpowered, meek-looking teen with a cursed technique that seems to be a little more trouble than you originally thought. That's the only thing going through your mind when you're introduced to him, leaving you inattentive to the way Gojo slings an arm over your shoulders and introduces you as his significant other to the first years.

You're only brought back to the present when Panda— yes, an actual panda— congratulates you loudly, causing you to scowl and push Gojo far, far, away from you. You're the only one who doesn't notice how you actually make brief physical contact with him.

"I am not dating him. I'm your new instructor," you say sharply, introducing yourself before turning and walking out the door. The first years all share a glance before following, Zenin Maki leading the small group as she eyes you with interest. You come to a stop in the middle of the training field before flashing them a grin that can only be described as dangerous. "Now, we're going to see how much combat experience you have, so give me all you've got."

You then proceed to take on all four of the first years, all too aware of the way Gojo's stare never leaves your figure. At the end of the day, you're the proud winner of a Gojo-free week.

Your first year teaching at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech is a tumultuous one.

You learn to treasure your friends a little more, and you find yourself thinking that you've become a pro when it comes to grieving.

(You remember Geto's defeated form as you arrived just in time to see the last smile he ever gave Gojo right before he took his last breath—)

The stress of everything even has you appreciating Gojo's presence in your life a little more, and when you tell Shoko this development, she merely snorts and pulls out a cigarette. You chide her for failing to break her habit even after she's promised you multiple times, only falling silent when you realize just how tired she looks.

You've become a pro at grieving, but that doesn't mean everyone else has, so you silently slide the cigarette packet back towards her and leave her to mourn in a way that seems to work for her.

The months that follow feel like a blur, and you get sent on plenty of missions to fill time. Your bets with Gojo seem to occur more often, and you find that you don't necessarily dislike hanging out with him whenever he wins. You wonder if the previous year has helped him mellow out, and you find yourself thinking a friendship with Gojo is possible. Especially after everything the two of you have dealt with.

Your appreciation for Gojo ends up fizzling out when you learn from Maki that he's been telling the new first year, Fushiguro Megumi, the same lies he tried telling the second years when you first arrive. It isn't long before you find out that Megumi is incredibly perceptive, and he doesn't fall victim to Gojo's lies about your nonexistent relationship.

Unfortunately, the two other first years aren't necessarily as... insightful as Megumi is, and all it takes is for them to see the way Gojo smiles when he's around you to believe that the two of you are meant to be.

Itadori Yuuji is a young boy that you think is a little wise beyond his years. When you hear about how he ate— yes, consumed— Sukuna's finger, you change your mind. He's seen a lot in the past few days, and it almost amuses you to see just how upbeat but jaded he seems. Seeing him interact with Megumi reminds you of sweeter times, back when you were their age and spent your afternoons sharing snacks and chatting with Utahime, and you feel an awful heaviness weighing down your heart when you realize just how small they seem.

You're tending to Megumi's wounds when you meet Yuuji for the first time, and you can't help but roll your eyes when you hear Gojo call out your name.

"This is my partner," he whispers loudly to Yuuji, lips turned up in a fond smile as you give Megumi the all clear. There's a mildly irritated huff that escapes you as you turn to greet the newest first year, but you can't help the way your lips twitch when Gojo tries to pinch your cheek and you swat his hand away. Megumi's suspicious eyebrow raise goes unnoticed by you as Yuuji bows in greeting, an easy smile on his face as he looks between you and Gojo.

"The two of you make a nice couple," he comments before his gaze drifts over to Megumi. You open your mouth to dispute Yuuji's statement but he makes his way over to Megumi before you have the chance to actually speak. "Woah! Fushiguro, what happened to you?"

The two boys walk into Megumi's bedroom, softly conversing as Yuuji pokes at the bandage on his cheek. You watch them fondly, sighing softly before turning around to leave.

"I bet I can also convince the third first year that we're dating," Gojo sings as he walks beside you, causing you to flinch away from him.

"I bet you can't," you respond automatically, feeling your stomach drop when he shoots you a cocky grin. He doesn't say anything before splitting off down another hall, shouting a quick goodbye to the two boys who are still wrapped up in conversation. You hope that Kugisaki Nobara is smarter than Yuuji.

Kugisaki Nobara is not smarter than Yuuji.

You have hope for the first five minutes you interact with her, fighting a smirk when you notice her immediate disdain towards Gojo. There's a judgmental look on her face as he introduces himself, and you can't help but straighten up when her gaze lands on you and her eyes sparkle with curiosity.

"It's very nice to meet you," you say softly, introducing yourself and giving her a soft smile. She smiles back at you, her expression becoming strained when Gojo pulls you into his side.

"We're dating!" he proclaims proudly, earning a quiet groan from you. Nobara looks between the two of you skeptically, and you feel confident that she's going to call out his lie until she turns to look at her fellow first years.

There's a bored look on Megumi's face, but Yuuji is nodding his head enthusiastically, his eyes shining as he glances at you and Gojo. You shake your head in response, and Megumi's lips twitch in amusement at your contrasting demeanors. Your embarrassed state is apparently proof enough for Nobara, and she gives you a sympathetic look as she turns to face you once more.

"You're so brave," she whispers to you, wiping a fake tear from her eye before turning to Gojo. "And you're punching above your weight."

She promptly turns around and walks off before he can respond, leaving you fighting back a giggle as Megumi and Yuuji follow her. Gojo wilts at her words momentarily before turning to give you a dazzling smile, lifting his blindfold just enough for you to see him wink at you.

"I win!" he declares, laughing when he notices the way your eyebrows furrow in frustration. He turns to follow after Nobara, casually reaching for your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours before pulling you along. "Come on! We can't stand here all day, we might lose the kids."

He smiles when you don't really make a move to pull your hand away from his and makes a mental note to take you to your favorite restaurant this time.

"I bet I can take out more curses than you."

Your statement is quiet, a familiar phrase meant to try and calm your nerves. You're met with a bored glance from Nanami, and you huff when he crosses his arms and shakes his head.

The atmosphere in Shibuya is unsettling, and even though you have complete faith in your abilities as a sorcerer, you can't help but feel a chill run down your spine when you think about what's to come.

"You should be making that bet with your boyfriend. Not me," Nanami says in response. You scowl at him in return, rolling your eyes when you catch sight of the amused smirk on his face.

"He is not my boyfriend," you mutter petulantly, all too aware of the way your statement lacks its usual bite. There's a quiet hum from Nanami before silence engulfs the two of you, and then—

"Are you sure about that?"

"Nanami!" you snap, feeling your cheeks warm as you turn to shove him. He barely moves, and you half-heartedly let out a string of curses as he chuckles. The tension you previously felt is broken momentarily, and you feel a brief moment of happiness as you joke with your friend. "Yes, I'm sure."

"I'm just saying," he continues, his tone even as he does his best to not give anything away. "Yuuji seems to think that the two of you are perfect for each other. I've heard quite a lot about how sweet he thinks the two of you are together."

"I can't believe Yuuji believed him," you mutter, shaking your head. There's a part of you that can't help but wonder what exactly it is that Yuuji sees that makes him think you and Gojo are a bona fide couple, but you tell yourself that now is not the time to dwell on that.

"Well, those younger than us tend to be more perceptive sometimes," Nanami says, unintentionally answering your internal question.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

There's another moment of silence between the two of you before Nanami calls your name, bringing your attention to him once more.

"I'll accept your bet, but when I win, you have to take Gojo out to dinner."

"When you win?" you ask mockingly, raising an eyebrow as you stare him down.

"Yes, when I win," he says, doubling down on his statement. "You need to take Gojo out. As in a date. Who knows? Maybe you'll finally understand Yuuji's point of view when it comes to you two."

"Deal," you say, eyes narrowing when he holds out his hand for you to shake.

That's the last time you ever have contact with Nanami, and later on in the night when you find his body, you can't help but wonder which one of you had actually won your silly bet.

But as you discovered a year ago, you're a pro at dealing with grief, so you give yourself fifteen minutes to collect yourself before setting out to find your students.

After all, you now have to figure out a way to get Gojo free from the prison realm and maybe even honor your bet with Nanami regardless of who won.

The relief you feel when you see Kurusu Hana unseal the prison realm is overwhelming.

When you get told by Shoko that she's giving Gojo a checkup, you act before you can stop yourself, bursting into the infirmary and throwing yourself into Gojo's arms. You let out a stuttered breath when he catches you effortlessly, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as you hide your face in his neck, and when he laughs you can feel your throat tighten up as you try to hold back your tears.

"Missed me?" he asks, cocky tone still present in his voice. His actions present a stark difference to his tone, and you can't help but think to yourself that he's holding you so tightly because he's scared of being separated from you once more.

So much, you think to yourself. But you're as stubborn ever and so you resolutely shake your head, drawing another laugh out from him as turns his face to press a fleeting kiss to the crown of your head.

"I did," he murmurs, voice soft as he pulls you even closer. "Miss you, that is."

There's a moment of silence as Shoko pulls Ijichi away, attempting to give the two of you some privacy as she gathers up the necessary tools. There's a mischievous glint in her eye when Gojo gives her an appreciative nod, but she refrains from teasing either one of you for the time being.

You make a move to pull away from the hug, a soft gasp leaving your lips when Gojo's arms tighten around you and pull you flush against him. You fight against his hold, pulling back just enough to see the pout on his lips. A breathy laugh escapes you, and your hands come up to cradle his face as you take the moment to process the fact that he's finally back. There's a softness in his blue eyes that makes you choke up once more, and you impulsively pull his face towards yours and press a kiss to his forehead.

He freezes beneath your touch, eyes fluttering closed as his breath hitches. His arms loosen in shock and you take the opportunity to slip out of his hold, cheeks burning when you turn and see Shoko and Ijichi watching the two of you with matching smiles on their faces. Gojo's hand darts out to grab your wrist before you can get too far, and he gently pulls you to his side, resting his head on your shoulder as Shoko proceeds with her checkup.

The days leading up to December 24 are eerily calm, and you make sure to take time for yourself in order to properly grieve Nanami and pray for Megumi and check up on Nobara's condition. Gojo joins you most of the time, silent but always within reach, with his hand holding yours or resting comfortably along your back.

"You know," you randomly say, walking alongside Gojo on your way to meet up with everyone else. There's a pit in your stomach as you glance at him, the knowledge of his upcoming fight weighing heavy on your mind. "I actually made a bet with Nanami before he..."

"I thought that was our thing," Gojo muses. His eyes linger on you before he turns back to face the road in front of you, tucking his hands into his pocket with an air of nonchalance.

"Nanami said something along those lines too," you say, laughing softly at the memory. "He still agreed to it, but he said that if he won I'd have to take you out on a date."

"Oh?"

Your words have piqued Gojo's interest, and he comes to a stop at the top of a staircase. You can see Yuuji's tuft of pink hair in the distance, and you drag your eyes back to your companion as you come to a stop as well.

"Too bad we never found out who won," you say flatly.

"Oh," Gojo repeats, his dull tone matching yours. You turn to face the staircase once more, trying to ignore the way Gojo's stare burns into you. You don't think you'll ever get used to those eyes of him.

"How about we make a bet?" you say lightly. There's a twinkle in your eye that sends a thrill down Gojo's spine, and he smiles before motioning for you to continue. "I bet that you can't beat Sukuna. If I win, you leave me alone for longer than a week, even though I know that'll be hard for you. If you win, I'll take you out on a date."

"Sounds like an easy win to me," he comments, laughing when you toss him a sly grin over your shoulder. "Betting against the strongest? I think you're guaranteed to lose."

"Perhaps, but I can't imagine I'll be all too upset about it," is all you say, shrugging your shoulders before descending down the stairs. Gojo smiles dazedly for a couple more seconds before following after you, effortlessly scooping your hand and entangling your fingers the same way he did when the two of you met Nobara for the first time.

The two of you are greeted with grins from all the students, the sight of your linked hands a welcome reprieve from everything bad that's happened so far. You hold on tight to Gojo until the very last minute, now all too aware of how awful it is to truly have him missing from your everyday life. You are unaware of what's to come.

You thought you were a pro when it came to grieving, but winning the last bet you ever made with Gojo has proved you wrong.

ty for reading. rbs appreciated <3

[d-emeter]

Breakfast, lunch and dinner (or: cod characters and how they eat you out) — plus-size!fem!reader x cod characters

Includes: Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, König, Graves, Alejandro, Rudy, Valeria

Note: take this as my formal apology for being inactive for so long :') exam week had me hanging on by a thread and i'm also suddenly moving so. yay. expect some more action after like... this week i hope

John Price

Listen. Getting eaten out by Captain Price is not, in any way, meant for your pleasure. No, this is him disciplining you. It hardly even matters what for. Maybe you have been teasing him, sliding your hand up his thigh under the table, rubbing your ass against him while passing by him. Maybe you've been a brat all day, complaining and huffing and puffing about everything, barely listening to any of John's requests and/or demands. Either way, sit on his desk and spread your fucking legs, doll. He'll be edging you for what feels like hours, tongue moving so torturously slow that all coherent thought has seeped from your brain aside from how badly you want to cum. Too bad, bad girls don't deserve to finish this easily.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley

With Simon, it's always a surprise what position you'll end up in. The only certainty you have is that it's definitely not what you'd expect, and sometimes you wish that for once he'd just lay you down and get busy. But alas, he'll have you kneeling with your face in the pillows, or bent over the back of the couch. Maybe he'll have you hanging off the edge of the bed so all the blood flows to your already overheating brain. You're clinging onto whatever you can get a hold on, mostly in pleasure, and sometimes in fear of falling when he has you up on his shoulders and leaned against the wall. Well, he doesn't exactly hear your complaining over your moans and whimpers, he argues, and he wouldn't dream of dropping you.

Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish

As with Price, this has little to do with your pleasure: it's all for his own benefit. Please, lass, he loves your cunt, and she loves him, doesn't she? Come on, let him have a taste. He could give two shits about where you are or how convenient it is— if he wants to lick your pussy, he's going to. He's down on his knees while you're desperately clinging onto the kitchen counter, or the shower wall, or the shelves of your pantry. Hell, you'd have to hope and pray a sales associate won't come by your changing room in fear of them hearing all of his moans. Oh, and you quickly find out you cannot wear a skirt around him, because it won't come down from your hips if he has any say in it.

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick

He's devastatingly methodical. He knows your body better than you do at this point, and he's not afraid to use this to his advantage. He can work you just right, but the worst part is that he will refuse to. Unless you kindly ask him for it, that is. Tsk, pretty girl, use your words. Let him know where you need him, what you need him to do. He's hovering close enough that you can feel his breath on your neglected clit, your cunt clenching around nothing in desperate search for friction of any kind, but he won't do anything until you tell him in excruciating detail what you want. And be aware, any time you stop talking, he's pulling away in a second.

König

Oh, König... Sweet, wet-rag-of-a-man loser that he is, will completely lose his mind any time you allow him near your pussy. He can practically feel his brain melting while he's drowning himself in your slick, and he looks like it too. His eyes have rolled back, face flushed and his eyebrows scrunched in pure, unadulterated pleasure. His body has turned to complete mush, his cock leaking against the sheets and hands clawing onto any part of your body he can reach (which, with his arms, is basically everywhere). Unintelligible mumbles made into your cunt, teetering the edge between praise and begging. He is a little inexperienced, Schatz, so you'll have to show him how you like it. Shove his face between your folds and ride his nose, and you'll have him moaning like a bitch in heat. When he finally comes back up for air you can tell you're not the only one that reached heaven just now.

Philip Graves

I'm going to speak my truth here, he does not strike me as the kind of man to give you oral all that much. I am SORRY, but it's true. He usually prefers to get you nice and ready for him with his fingers, or by having you ride his thigh, or simply from the absolute filth he spews into your ear while dry-humping. However, on the odd occasion that Phil does get down and dirty, he aims to make it special. It's strangely sentimental, actually. It'd be outside on a picnic blanket after his homecoming, or in your shared bed after your anniversary dinner. Anything that reminds him how much he loves you, and how much you mean to him, and he's going to show you with his tongue. There's reverence in every suck, praise in every lick and prayer in every word he murmers into your core. You're his goddess and he's just here to worship you, baby.

Alejandro Vargas

For Ale, it'd be a form of gratuity much in the same way it is for Graves, though the difference is that he'll use that as an excuse even for the most menial things. His belly nice and full after your homecooked dinner, grin on his face and asking when his dessert is being served. You've been so good to him, amor, welcoming him home with a smile and a kiss and a plate waiting for him, now let him thank you properly. You fixed the button on his shirt that had fallen off? Well, put it on and lay yourself down, time to lap at your cunt in thanks. It's gotten to a point where you're convinced he just decided his goal in life is to pull as many orgasms from you as possible. Not that you're complaining, of course.

Rodolfo 'Rudy' Parras

Eating you out is, in many ways, a means to an end for Rudy. He wants to make sure you're properly prepped and ready to take his cock, so it's almost instinctual for him to bury his face between your soft thighs for a while before inching himself into you. It's part of the routine, the way he thought sex was supposed to go. It's not until you explain to him that it can actually be the main event, and that you'd thoroughly enjoy it if he maybe put in a little more effort, that it dawns on him just how much he can actually do down there and how much time he's wasted not doing it. Now, tesoro, you may have shot yourself in the foot with that one, because he now can keep you pinned down for hours, just suckling away at your clit and fucking you on his tongue, dumb grin on his face after your fifth orgasm renders you basically comatose.

Valeria Garza

The only way Valeria will actually relax for once is with your pussy in her face. Seriously, you've tried everything else: lavender baths, deep tissue massages, even trying to get her to meditate. But no, the only time you actually see her shoulders lose all their tension is when she's between your folds. She's had such a long day, vida, come sit on her face. She's not even groping you the way she usually does during sex, hands instead playing idly with the fat of your thighs and ass while all her worries melt away. There are no thoughts running through her mind aside from how good you taste, how pretty you sound and how nice you feel under her hands.

[majikkulu]

✮ ˖° ⸜ masterlist ꕤ ･

╭₊˚๑ i'm  not  a  professional  astrologer,  so  they  may  not  resonate  with  everyone. take  them  with  a  grain  of  salt.  consider  the  planets, degrees, etc! these  are  just  my  personal  observations  and  opinions!

☁️₊˚੭

⋆⁺₊ planets  in  the  first  house  or  conjuncting  your  ascendant  persona  chart  can  totally  transform  and  complicate  the  vibe  you  give  off.  it’s  kinda  like  in  the  natal  chart,  but  way  more  intricate.  these  planets  or  conjunctions  can  completely  overpower  or  reshape  how  your  rising  energy  plays  out.  the  rising  sign  is  like  the  canvas  of  a  painting,  and  the  planets  placed  within  or  near  it  are  the  brushstrokes  and  colors  that  bring  the  entire  image  to  life,  altering  its  mood  and  style.

⋆⁺₊ for  example:  i have capricorn  rising,  but  with  chiron  conjuncting my  ascendant.  that  makes  me  come  across  as  wounded,  insecure  about  my  self-image,  but  also  wise  and  compassionate  because  of  the  struggles  i’ve  been  through.  i  get  how  it  feels,  so  i  can  help  others  through  it.  self-confidence  can  be  a  real  issue  with  this  placement.  then  add  neptune  and  uranus  in  the  first  house,  and  suddenly,  i  might  look  like  a  hard-to-read,  dreamy  mystery.  neptune  tends  to  soften  the  energy  of  the  risign  sign,  so  it  makes  my  serious  capricorn  vibe  a  little  more…  fluid.  i  don’t  always  see  myself  the  way  others  do,  and  that  adds  to  the  confusion.  uranus,  though,  makes  my  capricorn  rising  unpredictable,  way  less  steady  than  your  average  cap.  it  leaves  me  torn  between  capricorn’s  need  for  stability  and  the  freedom-loving  pull  of  uranus.

⋆⁺₊ conjunctions hit  harder.  they’re  more  obvious,  more  in  your  face,  while  planets  in  the  first  house  will  still  shift  things,  but  in  a  softer  way.

⋆⁺₊ if  you  have  no  planets  or  conjunctions  in  the  first  house,  whatever  sign  sits  there  takes  the  lead.  but  don’t  forget, other aspects  to  the  ascendant  can  shake  things  up  too!

✮ SUN IN THE 1ST you have a  cosmic  spotlight on you.  if  you’ve  got  this  placement,  consider  yourself  truly  blessed.  the  sun  is  the  dominant  force,  and  with  it  in  the  1st,  you  can't  help  but  shine.  this  placement  brings  a  natural  radiance  that  makes  you  stand  out  wherever  you  go,  even  if  you're  not  trying  to.  people  are  drawn  to  your  energy  and  notice  you  right  away.  no  matter  what  your  ascendant  is,  the  sun  amplifies  its  traits,  making  them  more  obvious  and  pronounced.  without  this  placement,  you’d  be  more  of  a  quiet  observer,  but  with  it,  you  become  the  full-on  main  character.  the  sun  makes  you  hyper-aware  of  how  you  present  yourself  and  how  others  see  you.  you're  aware  of  your  own  personality,  and  even  if  you  don't  try,  you  naturally  give  off  leadership  vibes.  with  the  sun  boosting  your  rising  sign,  your  traits  become  even  more  dominant.  you’re  less  likely  to  hide  who  you  are.  your  authentic  self  just  radiates  out,  making  you  impossible  to  ignore.

✮ MOON  IN  THE  1ST     you’re  likely  someone  who  wears  their  heart  on  their  sleeve.  your  emotions  are  easily  read  by  others,  and  you  come  across  as  emotionally  open  and  approachable.  people  can  sense  your  genuine,  heartfelt  energy  right  away.  this  placement  makes  you  naturally  vulnerable,  which  can  make  others  feel  seen  and  understood  by  you.  because  the  moon  is  a  deeply  sensitive  planet,  you're  attuned  to  the  moods  and  energy  of  those  around  you,  often  picking  up  on  subtle  shifts  in  atmosphere.  your  mood  can  influence  your  behavior,  making  you  appear  adaptable  and  fluid.  one  moment  you  might  seem  more  cheerful,  the  next  more  introspective—it  all  depends  on  the  emotional  climate  around  you.  this  also  extends  to  your  appearance,  which  might  change  based  on  how  you're  feeling.  you  likely  feel  most  comfortable  when  you're  nurturing  or  comforting  others,  and  this  side  of  you  may  be  the  most  visible.  intuitively,  you  might  protect  your  emotional  space  or  express  your  feelings  in  a  way  that  makes  you  seem  instinctive  and  open.  while  the  sun  helps  express  your  ascendant  traits  confidently  and  boldly,  the  moon  invites  you  to  express  your  inner  world  more  openly.  your  emotional  responses  to  situations  are  often  immediate,  and  you  might  rely  heavily  on  gut  feelings  and  intuition  to  guide  your  actions.  for  some,  the  moon  can  bring  out  a  more  private  side,  making  you  appear  sensitive  or  withdrawn,  and  people  may  see  you  as  someone  who  keeps  their  deeper  emotions  hidden.

✮ MERCURY  IN  THE  1ST         you’re  immediately  seen  as  sharp,  witty,  and  quick  with  your  words.  expressing  yourself  comes  effortlessly,  and  you  know  exactly  how  to  make  your  point  land.  people  are  drawn  to  engage  with  you  because  you’re  mentally  active  and  always  ready  to  process  information  and  come  up  with  solutions  on  the  fly.  this  placement  gives  you  a  youthful,  curious  vibe—you’re  the  kind  of  person  who  loves  to  learn  and  dive  into  debates  or  intellectual  discussions.  there’s  a  playful,  talkative  quality  to  you  that  makes  you  approachable  and  easy  to  talk  to.  mercury  in  the  1st  also  makes  you  more  flexible,  adjusting  your  communication  style  to  fit  the  situation.  you  probably  don’t  like  being  bored  and  are  constantly  seeking  mental  stimulation.  your  movements,  gestures,  and  even  the  way  you  stand  or  walk  often  reflect  your  thoughts  and  mental  energy—there’s  a  quickness  to  you.  you  might  have  a  rapid  speech  pattern,  talking  quickly  or  excitedly  as  your  thoughts  race  ahead.  this  placement  makes  you  come  across  as  highly  expressive,  and  mercury  enhances  whatever  sign  you  have,  making  it  more  adaptable  and  dynamic.  people  will  first  notice  you  through  the  way  you  talk,  as  mercury  tends  to  intellectualize  everything  it  touches,  giving  your  outward  persona  a  more  articulate,  thought-driven  quality.

✮ VENUS  IN  THE  1ST     your  entire  persona  is  wrapped  in  the  essence  of  venusian  charm.  even  if  the  sign  on  your  ascendant  is  a  bit  more  intense  or  harsh,  venus  smooths  it  out,  making  you  more  approachable  and  naturally  magnetic.  this  placement  infuses  you  with  an  effortless  attractiveness,  making  it  easier  for  people  to  like  you.  whether  you  want  to  or  not,  you  carry  a  flirtatious,  almost  romantic  energy  that  draws  others  in.  venus  makes  everything  you  do—how  you  speak,  how  you  dress,  how  you  carry  yourself—feel  beautiful  and  captivating.  no  matter  what  your  ascendant  sign  is  in  your  chart,  you’ll  always  come  across  as  charming  and  likable.  this  placement  enhances  your  natural  traits,  making  you  more  aesthetically  pleasing  and  easy  to  be  around.  you  likely  have  a  sense  of  style  and  elegance  that  shines  through  effortlessly,  and  you  probably  express  your  artistic  side  without  even  trying.  venus  gives  you  a  warm,  inviting  aura  that  people  find  hard  to  resist.

✮ MARS  IN  THE  1ST                your  rising  sign  gets  a  major  energy  boost.  if  your  rising  sign  is  usually  more  laid-back  or  passive,  mars  will  push  it  into  a  more  dynamic,  fast-paced  mode.  you’ll  come  across  as  bold,  determined,  and  not  afraid  to  go  after  what  you  want.  this  placement  gives  you  confidence  that  can  sometimes  border  on  aggression  or  impatience.  unlike  venus,  which  is  more  subtle  and  charming,  mars  in  the  1st  is in-your-face.  direct,  forceful,  and  unapologetically  assertive.  even  if  your  rising  sign  tends  to  be  reserved  or  private,  mars  makes  you  more  blunt  and  outspoken.  you’re  the  type  to  take  initiative,  preferring  to  make  things  happen  rather  than  waiting  for  them  to  come  to  you.  with  mars  in  the  1st,  you’re  not  one  to  back  down  easily.  you  hate  delays  and  indecision.  your  body  language,  speech,  and  movements  tend  to  be  sharp,  quick,  and  full  of  energy.  you  might  attract  competition  or  conflict,  but  that  doesn’t  faze  you.  your  presence  is  commanding,  and  you  radiate  an  intense,  magnetic  energy.  mars  makes  you  more  independent  and  tough,  as  it  thrives  on  strength  and  hates  being  seen  as  weak.  others  are  likely  to  see  you  as  dominant,  fiery,  and  undeniably  attractive.  you  speak  your  mind,  say  exactly  what  you  mean,  and  do  what  you  want.  whatever  your  rising  sign  is,  mars  amps  it  up  with  boldness  and  power,  making  your  presence  undeniably  strong  and  full  of  life.

✮ JUPITER  IN  THE  1ST            it   supercharges  your  rising  sign,  expanding  it  and  filling  you  with  an  infectious,  radiant  energy.  it  brings  a  positive,  uplifting  vibe  that  makes  your  personality  and  appearance  shine.  no  matter  what  your  rising  sign  is,  jupiter  infuses  it  with  an  adventurous,  optimistic  spirit.  this  placement  is  often  considered  lucky,  as  jupiter  amplifies  the  traits  of  your  ascendant,  making  them  even  more  prominent  and,  in  turn,  attracting  more  opportunities  your  way.  people  are  drawn  to  your  warmth,  generosity,  and  natural  confidence,  seeing  you  in  a  positive  light  and  trusting  you.  even  when  faced  with  challenges,  you  seem  to  always  land  on  your  feet.  with  jupiter  in  the  1st,  you  come  across  as  someone  who  thinks  big,  often  exuding  an  aura  of  wisdom  or  having  a  deep,  almost  philosophical  outlook.  if  your  rising  sign  tends  to  be  more  reserved,  jupiter  makes  you  more  open-hearted  and  expansive.  you  rarely  think  small  and  might  have  a  sense  of  destiny  or  purpose,  believing  that  great  things  are  possible.  however,  with  jupiter’s  expansive  nature,  there's  also  a  tendency  to  overdo  things—whether  it’s  speaking,  eating,  spending,  or  taking  risks.  sometimes,  your  confidence  can  border  on  overconfidence,  and  there’s  a  risk  of  exaggeration  or  arrogance.

✮ SATURN  IN  THE  1ST            is  the  complete  opposite  of  jupiter.  where  jupiter  brings  expansion  and  a  carefree  energy,  saturn  brings  structure  and  discipline.  this  placement  makes  you  more  composed,  reliable,  and  reserved.  you  come  across  as  serious,  with  a  strong,  but  often  intimidating  presence.  at  first,  people  may  find  you  distant,  wise,  or  even  unapproachable  until  they  get  to  know  you.  unlike  sun  or  jupiter,  which  express  personality  boldly  and  openly,  saturn  refines  and  controls  how  you  show  up.  you  tend  to  hold  back,  carefully  considering  what  you  say  and  how  you  present  yourself.  your  demeanor  is  serious,  professional,  and  mature—there’s  a  sense  of  caution  in  the  way  you  engage  with  others.  saturn  in  the  1st  doesn’t  offer  natural  luck  like  jupiter;  instead,  it  pushes  you  to  work  hard  for  everything  you  achieve.  you  don’t  rush  into  things  and  prefer  to  observe  before  acting.  others  may  feel  they  need  to  prove  themselves  to  you  before  you  open  up,  and  whether  intentional  or  not,  you  project  an  authoritative,  no-nonsense  vibe.  while  this  gives  you  a  sense  of  strength,  saturn  can  also  create  self-imposed  limitations  and  fears,  especially  around  expressing  your  true  self.

✮ URANUS  IN  THE  1ST  this  placement  makes  your  rising  sign  constantly  evolve,  giving  you  a  vibe  that’s  rebellious  and  unpredictable.  you  express  your  ascendant  traits  in  ways  that  are  bold,  electrifying,  and  often  out  of  the  ordinary.  while  it  might  feel  completely  normal  to  you,  to  others,  it’s  always  a  surprise.  your  presence  is  magnetic  and  full  of  sudden,  unexpected  shifts,  making  you  someone  people  can  never  fully  predict.  whether  it’s  through  fashion,  beliefs,  or  changes  in  personality,  you  constantly  reinvent  yourself,  and  at  different  points  in  your  life,  you  might  appear  completely  different.  you  naturally  challenge  authority,  disrupt  traditions,  and  question  outdated  norms  simply  by  being  yourself.  this  can  bring  competition  and  unnecessary  tension,  with  some  people  disliking  you  for  no  apparent  reason.  your  energy  is  captivating  and  full  of  surprises,  and  your  life  often  feels  like  a  series  of  twists  and  turns.  while  it’s  exciting,  it  can  also  feel  chaotic  or  offbeat  with  the  expectations  of  society.  this  placement  gives  you  an  eccentric,  unique  presence,  often  bringing  a  hot-and-cold  energy  that  keeps  people  on  their  toes.

✮ NEPTUNE�� IN  THE  1ST   your  rising  sign  takes  on  a  dreamy,  mysterious  quality.  it  softens  the  traits  of  your  ascendant,  creating  an  ethereal  and  fluid  vibe  that  can  make  you  seem  like  you're  from  another  world.  there's  a  sense  of  transcendence  about  you—like  you're  part  of  this  world  but  also  not  fully  grounded  in  it.  people  might  find  you  elusive  and  hard  to  pin  down,  as  your  energy  is  gentle  and  often  difficult  to  read.  you  may  be  seen  as  too  sensitive  or  easily  affected  by  the  world  around  you.  neptune  brings  a  sense  of  idealization,  both  of  yourself  and  others.  sometimes  you  can  project  a  perfection  that  isn’t  fully  accurate,  which  can  lead  to  others  feeling  let  down  if  they  get  too  close  or  if  things  don't  live  up  to  the  ideal  you’ve  created.  this  foggy  influence  means  you  may  struggle  with  presenting  your  true  self  clearly,  leading  to  confusion  or  contradictions  in  how  others  perceive  you.  ultimately,  you  come  across  as  mysterious,  with  an  air  of  wonder  but  also  a  subtle  sense  of  ambiguity.

✮ PLUTO  IN  THE  1ST                 pluto  amplifies  everything  about  your  rising  sign,  adding  a  deep  intensity  and  transformative  energy.  there's  a  magnetic,  almost  hypnotic  quality  to  your  presence  that  others  can't  help  but  be  drawn  to.  people  may  find  themselves  inexplicably  attracted  to  you,  and  whether  you're  aware  of  it  or  not,  you  have  a  profound  influence  on  those  around  you.  your  energy  is  compelling,  and  you  leave  a  lasting  impact  the  moment  you  enter  someone's  life.  pluto  in  the  1st  makes  your  self-expression  ever-evolving,  pushing  you  to  constantly  shed  old  identities  and  embrace  transformation.  you're  unafraid  to  face  uncomfortable  truths  about  yourself,  and  you're  aware  of  both  your  light  and  your  shadow.  through  personal  rebirths  and  self-discovery,  pluto  forces  you  to  confront  your  deepest  fears,  and  this  gives  you  a  resilience  and  depth  that  others  can  sense,  even  if  they  can't  quite  put  their  finger  on  it.

✮ NORTH  NODE  IN  THE  1ST          this  placement  encourages  you  to  step  into  your  most  authentic  self,  embracing  your  individuality  and  destiny.  it's  about  self-discovery  and  learning  to  express  who  you  truly  are,  rather  than  conforming  to  others'  expectations.  with  the  North  Node  in  the  1st,  you're  pushed  to  assert  your  personal  identity  with  confidence  and  independence.  you  might  feel  a  deep  desire  to  understand  who  you  really  are  and  express  yourself  freely,  with  a  strong  need  to  project  your  true  essence  to  the  world.  this  placement  calls  for  you  to  take  charge  of  your  life  and  make  choices  that  are  aligned  with  your  personal  truth.  it  often  leads  you  to  work  on  self-acceptance  and  assert  your  identity  in  ways  that  set  you  apart  from  others.  your  presence  should  feel  authentic,  as  you  are  meant  to  stand  out  and  live  in  a  way  that  reflects  your  unique,  true  self.

✮ CHIRON  IN  THE  1ST           your  wound  is  closely  tied  to  how  you  present  yourself  to  the  world.  you  may  struggle  with  feelings  of  being  incomplete  or  flawed,  which  could  lead  to  self-doubt.  this  placement  can  make  you  feel  misunderstood  or  disconnected  from  your  identity.  however,  it  also  gives  you  a  deep  understanding  of  others'  vulnerabilities,  as  you've  likely  experienced  your  own  challenges  in  this  area.  chiron's  influence  can  bring  a  lack  of  confidence  and  difficulty  fully  embracing  your  unique  identity.  there's  often  a  tendency  to  hold  back,  as  you  might  fear  rejection  or  not  fitting  in.  healing  for  you  comes  through  helping  others  with  their  own  struggles,  as  it  allows  you  to  work  through  your  insecurities.  issues  related  to  body  image  or  how  you  feel  others  perceive  you  could  also  be  present  with  this  placement.

[christopher575]

Related to this:

Your freezer is your friend. You can take advantage of so many sale items if you can freeze them until you're ready for them.

Related to the above, you need to actually use that stuff. It's so easy to accidentally build a huge supply of stuff and be overwhelmed by the idea of using it.

Wander around the store looking for things marked down for immediate sale. My favorite recent find was a $5 or so loaf of sourdough marked down to $1.25 or something. I keep all my bread in the freezer anyway.

It's hard to spend less on groceries when you shop strictly from a list. Remember that screenshot post where someone was outraged by the price of grapes? They weren't in season at the time. Be flexible and ready to switch gears and do substitutions.

Get to know stores like WinCo and Grocery Outlet if you have them. I'm using more convenience foods ever since we got the second dog, and the 4-pack of WinCo breakfast sandwiches is just over $4. National brand names for stuff like that are often double. And WinCo is a cool employee-owned store, just be aware that you have to use debit, a check, or cash. Those employee owners didn't feel like paying credit card fees and I say good for them! Grocery Outlet is a weird place where you'll find closeout items, health food, and even their own brand that's slowly building up. Just be ready to have your heart broken when you fall in love with something there and can only buy so much of it before it disappears forever.

Try to have favorite shelf stable items that you love but will only buy on sale. I love flavored tuna packets, but refuse to pay full price. They go on sale, they're cheaper at WinCo, and you can even find them at Dollar Tree. And! If you look online you can find great deals on boxes of ten. I say shelf stable because you don't want to get tired of these items by being forced to eat them too soon.

Back to the freezer; it's not just for ingredients, it's for leftovers and meal planning. Especially if you live alone.

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon.

[heeluvv]

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 ݁ᛪ༙

pairing ۶ৎ park sunghoon x stalker!reader

genre ۶ৎ dark romance, smut

warnings ۶ৎ stalking, voyeurism, exhibition, implied noncon(?), masturbation, etc.

natty’s notes ۶ৎ mdni, hate comments will be deleted.

you shouldn't be here.

you shouldn't be watching.

but you can't help yourself.

your heart pounds as you peer through the narrow gap in his window, hidden just enough in the darkness outside. you've followed him for weeks—memorized every move, every habit, every tiny detail about him. but tonight? tonight is different.

because sunghoon knows you're here.

he doesn't look at you. doesn't acknowledge the fact that your eyes are glued to him, drinking in every inch of his perfect form.

instead, he takes his time.

he's fresh from the gym, sweat still clinging to his skin, the glow of his bedside lamp casting deep shadows across the defined muscles of his torso. his shirt is long gone, discarded somewhere on the floor, and his sweats hang low on his hips, teasing, taunting.

he stretches, slow and deliberate, rolling out his shoulders before letting out a breathy sigh.

then—he moves to the edge of his bed and sits, spreading his legs wide.

palms himself through the fabric of his sweats.

your breath catches.

your fingers tighten around the ledge of the window, your entire body going still as you watch him touch himself, completely unashamed, completely unbothered.

you shouldn't be here.

but he's putting on a show just for you.

his movements are lazy at first, teasing himself the way you've imagined doing a thousand times.

“shit..” he exhales softly, tilting his head back slightly, fingers dragging over the thick outline pressing against his sweats.

then, finally—he slips his hand under the waistband.

your stomach flips.

a low groan spills from his lips as he grips himself fully, fingers wrapping around his length, slow strokes making his chest rise and fall deeper, heavier.

"fuck," he exhales, voice barely above a whisper.

he still doesn't look toward the window but you know he's aware of you.

it's in the way he keeps his legs wide open, his body shifting slightly, putting himself on full display.

it's in the way he lets out soft, breathy sighs, his hips rocking into his own palm just enough to make your thighs clench.

it's in the way he starts talking, voice low, hazy.

"baby..." he exhales, fingers tightening around himself. "you'd take me so well, wouldn't you?"

your breath stutters.

your nails dig into the wood of the window frame, your thighs pressing together as heat pools between them.

you shouldn't be here.

but god—he wants you here.

his pace quickens.

his body tenses, the muscles in his arms and abdomen flexing as he works himself harder, chasing the high he so desperately needs.

"so fucking tight," he groans, his free hand gripping the sheets beside him, his hips jerking into his own touch.

your whole body burns.

he's falling apart for you, even if he doesn't know your name.

even if he's never touched you.

even if the only way he's ever felt you is through the heat of your hidden gaze.

he's so close now—his breath coming in quick, uneven pants, soft moans slipping past his parted lips.

“fuck!fuck! s-shit—!”his head tilts back, eyes fluttering shut, lips parting in bliss as he finally lets go.

his body shudders, muscles tightening as he spills over his own fingers, his chest heaving with ragged breaths.

you shouldn't be here.

but the way he sighs your nickname—the one you always left on his daily notes—like a prayer, breathy and satisfied, tells you he never wanted you to leave.

natty’s notes ۶ৎ okay something different that i tried out so let’s see how this goes, also tysm for 100+ follows and all the love <33

[laora-ryn]

Just in case anyone was wondering, I am in fact a federal employee and I am in fact having A Fucking Time Of It

In roughly chronological order, here's all the things that have fucked us over the last two weeks:

Hiring freeze effective immediately, which involved rescinding final offers to people who were about to start their job. A final offer is something you can get a mortgage with btw. It's what you get after months of paperwork. It's something you move cross country for. Eighteen people just at our hospital had a final offer rescinded

A demand for a return to in person work, with no explanation given for why they want this so badly. No explanation on people who have teleworking written into their contracts, or people who have teleworking as a reasonable accommodation

Related to the hiring freeze: no creation of any new jobs in even a preliminary way, even to prep to fill existing vacancies after the 90 days are over

Closing of all DEIA teams groups, webinar series, webpages, department gatherings... Anything you can think of. This included the queer teams based communities that were just a place for people to chat

Related to this: our acting secretary sending out an email that sounds straight out of the fucking Gestapo, where "we are aware of efforts by some in government to deliberately redefine DEIA positions in an attempt to keep their jobs. If you know of this happening, here's an email line we've set up for tips. There won't be adverse consequences for reporting, however, failure to report may have adverse consequences"

What appears to have been trying to be a total freeze on federal spending, which threw literally everything into chaos, I was not able to follow it at all, but the hospital is still running so I'm assuming money is happening somewhere

Two strange emails from OPM.gov, marked EXTERNAL, saying they're testing a new distribution list and to please reply yes. These were considered so universally sus by employees that they had to come down from central office and confirm that yes, these are legit, please reply

A day later, an email from that same external address offering voluntary resignation, which I'm pretty sure is the bit that's been all over the news for (checks notes) being word for word the same email musk sent to Twitter before proceeding to Not Pay Them

A restriction on communication and travel. "No speaking engagements or attendance at public facing events, seminars, or conferences (unless approved by chief of staff) for 6 months. VA only events are excluded." Which was later clarified to mean "well if you're going for continuing Ed, as long as you aren't presenting, it's ok" but then backtracked to "it's probably ok but you still need approval which can take upwards of a month." Why are they restricting speaking at conferences? It's not a money thing because traveling for VA events still costs money. It's like they're looking to prevent staff from interacting with anyone external, for some reason

And today, an email this morning that "leadership has received guidance from the office of personnel management [regarding the EO about "gender ideology extremism and restoring biological truth"] and is working to execute the EO fully, faithfully, and thoughtfully."

This afternoon at 4:30, this began with an all employee email saying that all personal pronouns are being removed from Outlook display names by IT, which was a system implemented several years ago and broadly popular! But nope, we'll need to go back to guessing what genders new coworkers named Quinn, Alex, Morgan, and Taylor are.

(oh I forgot! I can't use the word gender at work anymore. Using Proper Terminology (as interpreted by our ~~~Illustrious President~~~) in all communications at work is now required)

It's been a fucking week and a half and I am so goddamn tired guys. Sorry I haven't been on again but I'm spending most of my energy on Not McFucking Losing It rn

[drownedthemall]

sweetness of her laughter

part 2 - misjudged

next part

caracalla x noble!reader x geta 

2.1k words

a/n - i didn’t expect anyone to even read this fic !! especially part one, that part really is not that good :)

summary - you’ve been escorted to rome on behalf of the emperors. you stand before them, what will they decide to do with you now?

There was a change in the atmosphere, you could feel it. This led you to believe that you were now in Rome. Not only did it feel like the temperature rose to an unsettling degree, but the sheer amount of people surrounding every street was unimaginable. People were stood staring, some were almost clawing their way through to see who was the person General Acacius was accompanying. Not just accompanying, but personally escorting to see the Emperors. You weren't very talkative with the General throughout your travels together. But now, you couldn't help but ask questions as you were nearing the residence of the Emperors.

"General?" you ask, which came out way quieter than you had imagined, but fortunatley he heard you.

"Yes, Princess?"

"Are you aware of how many other nobles will be part of this whole fiasco..?", you fumble with your hands as you speak. You try to ignore his stare and redirect yours to the outside. You noticed carriages further away, of what seemed to have once been free people, were now slaves, getting carted away. The carriage tilts enough for the sun to dust your face, blinding you momentarily. "You are the first they've decided to personally invite.", his sombre voice declares.

You begin to feel nauseous at the statement. "What?" is all you can muster. He laughs at your reaction, finding amusement in your whirling storm of emotions.

"They have been sending out letters to a select few nobles that they deemed 'worthy', and they all eagerly accepted, except..." he nods to you.

"So, just because of that, I'm the first on the menu?" you huff, you had changed into your royal garments by now, but they were still too warm for such a climate. "Even then it wasn't my doing." you mull over your thoughts.

"All I can say is, good luck, Princess," he says with sincerity, hand over his chest. Symbolising his heart.

You shake your head, you can basically feel the aura of the Emperors oozing and you're not even there yet. You were unnerved that the Emperors even knew of your existence, the fact they chose you over your sister, who despite her attitude, was more than prepared to rule. You, however, were not, you knew of your sister's claim to the crown, which you had no issue with. You did what you were interested in and never bothered to even think of leading a Kingdom, and sure as hell, not the Roman Empire. You enjoyed having close to no responsibilities. You sigh, this invitation doesn't even guarantee you'll be Empress, this will only be a play to humiliate you for your own father's misstep. You've heard many stories of the Emperors. Everyone has.

The carriage comes to a halt. You look at the General, your eyes probably resembling that of a kicked puppy. He chuckles and pats your shoulder, "Come on, kid." He steps out of the carriage, holding out his hand for you to take. You see the stark difference between your own and his. His definitely belonged to that of a general, they were worn, rough, and showed years of commitment to his work. Despite you also having skills in weaponry, yours didn't compare one bit. You felt respect for him and his dedication.

You oblige and accept his hand, stepping out and feeling the sun above and its effects already. He holds onto your hand for longer than you deem necessary but appreciate it nonetheless. He and some praetorians guide you into where the Emperors reside. As you step foot inside, you feel relief from the cool marble beneath you and around you. You felt as if you could finally breathe again. That semblance of peace doesn't last long as you reach the room where they are known for throwing all sorts of celebrations

Your breath hitches. It seems it was just them two. The one who you assumed to be Caracalla was sprawled out and shamelessly enjoying the company of his concubines. Their hands reached and groped at his pale skin and silk. He was lavished in gold, from earrings to rings, to cuffs and all sorts of gold embellishments throughout his toga. The gold stood out against his complexion. Then there was Geta, he was also adorned in riches, but he on the other hand was mostly glamoured with silver and cooler tones of silk. However, their concubines weren't as bare either. Some of them, the favoured ones you presume, were also glistening in jewels. It was a sight to see. A sore one, but a sight. The both of them really did have an aura around them, no wonder people call them gods.

Geta seemed lost in thought as he swirled the deep red wine in his cup, staring off into the distance. They must be waiting for someone. Small giggles and sweet nothings can be heard from Caracalla's entourage, with him indulging in their soft-spoken words.

They hadn't yet registered the presence of you two, as neither you nor the general wanted to step to the centre of the room. However, Caracalla perked up as he noticed a glimmer of Acacius' armour.

He smiles broadly, "Acacius!!", he announces with his arms wide open. Geta looks over and wordlessly signals for the both of you to come closer. Each step on the marble floor felt slower than the next. As if you were walking to your death. The two Emperors shoo away the whores surrounding them, wanting to dedicate all of their attention to the entertainment that stood before them.

The General stands tall and begins, "Emperor Caracalla, Emperor Geta", he greets as he directs his attention to each of them.

"Acacius.", Geta greets in return, "Seems you have now earned your awaited respite, have you not?" he says stone-faced.

Caracalla finds this very humourous, giggling at his brother's words. "Yes, he really has brother, after all, he's done as asked...", lightly pointing in your direction, eyeing you, fiddling with his rings. His eyes scope you from head to toe, lingering on every uncovered area of your body. Which didn't leave him satisfied. Your attire didn't match those of the Romans. You feel your skin crawl, uncomfortable at such ogling.

From what you understood, Acacius had already conquered Numidia and was sent to get you straight after his conquest. You suppose that explains his unwillingness to negotiate. Not that the Emperors would have approved either way.

You tried to calm your thoughts and ignore one of the Emperors embedding stares. "Princess," Geta states, you politely nod, "Emperor Geta".

He hums "Hope, you weren't too startled by the entrance of our General," he fakes sincerity, barely holding back his smirk. He then glances towards his brother, who breaks like a dam.

"Haha, mhm. We're glad you're a poor shot, we wouldn't want Acacius here to have his eternal respite just yet" Caracalla laughs and giggles throughout his little joke.

"We'd have no choice but to wed Lucilla!" Geta jabs and laughs as he looks for the Generals reaction. Feeling dissatisfied when he doesn't outwardly react.

Geta calms, his demeanour changing. "But, please, don't let the avant-garde gesture affect the way you view us", he says, keeping his eyes on you. He adjusts in his seat.

Caracalla nods, "It's what needed to be done", he leans back, sprawling his legs out again.

You have trouble maintaining eye contact with either of them, transitioning from one to the other. As they settle down, Acacius pipes up. "She's travelled far, I'd suggest, Emperors, you let her rest for the day.", he tries to explain carefully.

They go silent for a second, exchanging glances. Geta starts, "You make a point, Acacius."

Caracalla nods "She should rest up and change..." he looks over you again, "..into some more appropriate clothing", he stopped mid sentence as if his thoughts drifted off elsewhere.

Geta gives him a bit of a disapproving look before directing his attention to you. "Yes, he is right, not to mention now that the General is back, the games shall finally begin.", he claps at the final statement.

"Which you will attend, Acacius", Caracalla leans forward and pointedly chuckles.

---

You were led to your personal chambers. They were guarded by two praetorians and were located close to the Emperors own. Which you weren't too fond of, it made you worry if anything.

The room was spacious, meant for royalty, you couldnt deny that. You saw that the wardrobe was open and filled with all kinds of silky clothing for you to wear. Which you knew would provide some ease for the heat you were experiencing. You’re stopped by a servant entering your chambers. You turn towards them expecting someone else.

"For you, Princess", she states as she places the bowl of fruit onto a small engraved table nearby. "From Emperor Geta himself", she finishes as she turns on her heel and leaves.

Your heart warms, this was oddly welcoming? Unexpected. However, you felt you couldn't let your guard down. You decide to change into something more comfortable before letting yourself indulge in the fruits before you.

The fruits consist of all kinds, not just home to Rome. Every single one you’ve tried so far was so sweet and refreshing. You head to the balcony with the bowl in hand. You gaze at the sky, and how it changed from all shades of blue to orange. This makes you think of home and how distant it is from where you stand now.

You wonder if your family misses you and if your father feels any remorse or regret. You've only just arrived and you feel more isolated than ever. You wonder… if this doesn't work out, will they let you go? Or will their bruised egos make sure to rid of you? You reach for another piece of sliced pear, only to feel the bottom of the bowl... You're afraid that this loneliness may affect your judgment.

Your head swiftly turns as you hear a few knocks on the door of your chamber. You waltz to the other side of the room, lightly treading to the door. As you open it, the other person doesn't wait for you to even register their presence, they just push themselves past you. You see a blur of orange and red and blink a few times before setting your eyes on them. It’s Caracalla. You've heard rumours of how unpredictable he is, well, they both are. The reason he is, however, is because of some sort of disease… If what you've heard from people is right.

"Emperor Caracalla," you say slightly flustered at his sudden entrance. You push the door shut. He waits for you and stands before you with a smile, "Princess."

You were unnerved, "Yes, Emperor..? Is there some wa-", he cut you off.

"I knocked!" he shouts, smugly.

What. You furrowed your eyebrows, "Mhm, you did..." you respond utterly confused at the declaration. He acted as if it was some sort of achievement.

Caracalla hums and takes a few steps forward, cornering you, "See? I've been on my best behaviour..." He ends this by gliding his nose against your collarbones, taking in your scent. His hands find their way to your waist, lightly taking hold of you. You feel his breath against your skin, you can smell the oils and perfumes he lathers himself with. All of a sudden you’re feeling warm again. He locks eyes with you, and this leads him to step back, slightly. "I like the change of outfit", he starts.

"The colour red…”, he begins as his eyes swerve over you, appreciating the way the silky garment is draped over your curves, “..is my favourite."

"..Oh, thank you, I'm glad then." you're unsure of what to say in this predicament.

He giggles at your response and then says calmly, "I'll let you rest," he takes your hand in his and kisses your knuckles, kissing each one separately. All while maintaining eye contact.

He then unexpectedly pulled your hand over his shoulder, making it so that there was no space between the two of you. His mouth was by your ear. "Sleep well", he whispers softly, the warmth of his breath faning over the side of your face.

You shy away at the forwardness and unexpected proximity, "..Thank you, Emperor, I hope rest finds you well." you lightly respond. You noticed that his smile widened.

"Empress." he declares, before leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek. He loosens his grip on you and scurries out of the room. Thud. The door shuts and you're left alone once more. His ghostly touches still linger on your body. Leaving you to wonder if this actually happened or if you have gone mad. You stand there in the same spot he left you, hand over your cheek. You're not sure what to feel anymore.

taglist - @duckyhowls @himikoquack <3

[harmonysanreads]

Imagine Phainon with a sweet and caring and gentle lover… Him being the famous hero and everyone in Ampho is now used to the sweet girl following him around. But they don’t know, they aren’t aware of how protective he is around his little lover. Overprotective, to be more precise. Because you are so gentle and kind! He thinks you are the purest flower that has appeared in his life.

Maybe he is controlling too…

For a hero, what he must defeat is not his bane ; what he cannot part with no matter the wager, is.

Phainon wishes so often to relive every moment he's had the fortune of sharing with you again, but the day he met you for the first time might be the most prayed for. Still unaccustomed to the customs and dazzles of the Holy City he was and a blessing you were upon him, teaching him grace anew. The events that followed and gradually molded your bond, are enough to make him blush even amidst a fierce battle.

It is a story that earns much admiration and envy ; accounts dedicated to recounting your moments on the Web, forums that fawn over and wish for the downfall of this union simultaneously are evidences of it. They speak of how you two are blessed by Mnestia, a match that'd be celebrated in the heavenly realm of Aquila and many more claims you both found humor in initially.

Sweetness attracts more than just birds and bees and at the heart of every addiction, there is sugar. When so deep in love, he allows his heart to take the lead. As such, the subtle shift from chivalry to possession did not really register in his conscious mind, or, he simply didn't care enough to worry about it. What his worries were occupied with though, was you. One phone call that extended a bit too late into the night, what was supposed to be him sleeping peacefully with dreams of you disrupted with thoughts of your safety at such a time resulted him bolting to and guarding your home all night.

It was still harmless then, something you could wave off with as ‘cute’. You have always had such a pure heart, always choosing the best in everyone — even for a man like him, one with nothing but the shattered pieces of himself as offering. You never agree with the notion of the perfection he's supposed to embody, but assure him that his every blemish, every flaw makes him perfect in your eyes already — without lethargy. A Hero must be a beacon of hope for the hopeless, a sanctuary for the weak ; but even he must have a safe heaven to return to after a tiring day. Some people say you are lucky for having Phainon, but the truth is that, to say he thinks he's undeserving of you is an understatement.

His personal feelings aside, fate still brought you two together. If he feels inferior to you, it simply means that he has to treat you in a manner that is befitting of your station, your worth. For that, it matters little if he's seen as ‘lovesick’ and ‘overprotective’, if he starts bloody carnage over a few scratches, if he's always hell-bent on having your attention on him alone. He's aware of his position and he's grateful for it, but others are not like him. He could tolerate seeing Aedes Elysiae being destroyed once again, but he cannot withstand seeing you being disrespected, mistreated.

Phainon is not the best at keeping words to himself, his lips are particularly loose around you. His transparency softens your heart, but it kills him a little each time whenever you're so understanding. Even if he's shutting down the doors in others' faces, you'll smile at him. Even if he's locking you up in one place, you'll smile at him. Even if he cries, fingers trembling as his hand hovers over your leg, each twist and crack tearing apart his sanity, you'll smile — because you have as much of a bleeding heart as him.

If you sin, he'll worship it and if he sins, he knows you'll forgive him. Even if one day you refuse to look at him, he'll be fine with it, as long as the that scintilla of light he treasures stays lit.

[vampiriito]

Summer was my first love (JJ Maybank x shy! kook! reader) part 1

A/N: Hi loves! this is my first fic and i just wanna let you know that I'm open to any criticism, but i want you to be able to nice at the same time. This is inspired by my favorite author on here the lovely @featherandferns, her fic daylight was so good and i read all the parts in less than 2 hours. With that being said the plot is completely different but i recommend checking out her works too because she's very talented! this might be a bit long, i wanted to write a slow-burn. Let me know if i managed to do that (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Summary: After getting locked into a closet with a kook girl, JJ Maybank comes to the realization that his animosity towards the spoilt people living on Figure Eight doesn't have to apply to every single one of them.

"Fuck! Seriously?" JJ Maybank's blue eyes meet yours through the frame of your glasses as he sneers at the door which was now shut. Leaving you both stuck together in this small cramped closet. If you weren't panicked cause of the claustrophobic tendencies of your stupid brain, you definitely were now.

You were alone with your 3rd grade crush, and he had no idea, you were a kook, (which he hated,) and one hell of a wallflower person. You've been watching him from a far since you were 9, and it got a little weirder once you could walk around freely and just... take pictures with your camera as your hobby flourished. You were now, glancing shyly between the door and his face, 'he's probably feeling weird being stuck in here with a complete stranger.' you thought to your self, making sure to stick to your corner of the closet.

"What’s your name?" He demanded, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking over you, studying you. Of course, he would ask that right away, JJ could be direct and kind of an ass most days. And he felt like if he wasn't gonna ask, you weren't gonna speak up first.

Of course he didn't know your name, he wasn't bordering on creepy stalker most days like you were in your free time. Across these years you managed to gather a lot on JJ surprisingly, being quiet and so reserved got you very far, going almost invisible when you went out. It didn't help you were a shutterbug, always taking pictures and people watching, "Y/n.." you responded softly and weakly, adjusting your glasses.

He raised an eyebrow, studying your face for a moment. That name sounded familiar, he could swear he'd heard it before somewhere, the only question was where.

"You're a kook, huh? I should have known." He grumbles, running a hand through his messy dirty blonde hair. You looked so.... soft, and it somehow made him scoff. He hated your kind more often than not, and here he was, stuck in a closet with one.

You nodded, frowning gently. You were aware of his hate and animosity towards the people living on figure 8, but you weren't exactly the picture perfect image of a snarky preppy kook girl. Or so you liked to think anyway.. He looked even more beautiful up close, more defined than what you usually saw through your camera lenses when photographing him. 'Suddenly i feel like a creep being here..' you thought, playing with the hem of your baggy sweater.

His eyes flicked down to your hands as you fidgeted with your sweater, his lips curling up into a subtle smirk. 'How can someone be so shy?' he thought to himself, wondering why you were so nervous.

"You look like you've never talked to a human before." He comments, letting out a soft scoff, and you flinch gently, your eyes snapping up to meet his. He noticed this and his smirk grew a little wider, enjoying that he was able to fluster you.

That's the most JJ thing he could say to someone like you. "i.. well, i don't talk usually." you face palmed internally at the way your words came out. You had the chance to come off as something you weren't given he didn't know you, and you weren't doing a very good job at it. You could've faked being confident and charm him, yet here you were talking like you never had anything to eat in your life.

He lets out a soft scoff as he watches you stumble over your words. There was something he found so weird about you, you were so… different from everyone he encountered on a daily basis. You were shy, quiet, and awkward, not like the sarcastic and arrogant persona that most kooks had. But, he tried to shake the thoughts away, he didn't need to be thinking about you this way, of all people.

"I can tell.." he responds, his accent ringing through slightly as his smirk turned into a slight frown.

There was an awkward silence that fell over the two of you in the cramped closet, the music that played throughout the party muffled by the thick walls. JJ glanced around for a moment, almost bored before his gaze settled back on you. His blue eyes studying you intently, trying to figure you out. The frown on his face remained, 'Why are you so shy?' he thought to himself, biting his tongue before he continued.

"What are you even doing here anyway? You don't seem like the type to be at a party.."

'Got dragged against my will by my very loud and obnoxious best friend here...' you thought to your self, the thought amusing you but of course not letting that mirror on your expression, "I'm sorry?" 'what? dumbass..' you scolded your self mentally. The question was loud and clear.

He raised an eyebrow as he looked you up and down for a moment, wondering if you always spoke in a quiet and awkward way, or if it was just because you were in a small, dark, and very cramped closet with a stranger.

"You heard me. I doubt you'd normally come to a party like this." He repeated, his frown returning to a small smirk as he pushed off the wall to take a hesitant step towards you.

Again, such a JJ thing to say. Your stomach jumped as he took a small step towards you, suppressing the urge to shift awkwardly. All you needed now was to look more awkward than you already were, you acted and sounded like a pathetic dumbass, in front of your childhood crush nonetheless. "i just ended up here.."

He took a few more steps until he stood a few feet away from you. He was towering over you, his 6’1 height compared to your, what he could only guess, 5.2 or 5.3 height. He had to admit, in some weird way, it was amusing being able to fluster you so easily. That was until he noticed there was nowhere really for you to go. The walls of the small closet caged you in, he was blocking your way out of the closet, unless you tried to push him out of the way.

He was quiet for a moment, just studying you as a small smirk returned to his face.

"There's nowhere for you to go.." he teased, taking another step closer, closing the gap between the two of you even more. He noticed you shiver gently and took note of it.

"Are you usually this weird with strangers?" you found yourself asking, surprising even yourself after the words left your mouth. 'caging me in like this wouldn't create a good first impression... he's just lucky I've been in love with him since i was 9.' you thought.

This time it was his turn to be surprised. He was definitely not expecting you to say something so blunt, you were full of surprises. He chuckled softly, taking another small step forward, effectively caging you against the wall. His smirk grew into a wide smile, his eyes studying you intently as he spoke.

"Only when I get stuck in a small crowded closet with them." He was now only a few inches away from you, his eyes studying your face. He was so close, you could take in some of his scent, which somehow matched perfectly with his personality. A mix of weed and the smell of the ocean and sunscreen. You could also now see little details in his face, like his freckled cheeks, and his jawline that looked hard enough to cut glass.

Being able to smell him was a pleasant feeling as weird as that sounded, his scent matching with the way he was completely. The small freckles scattered over his soft skin made you want to be able to take mental photographs. He looked breathtaking up close, even in the dim light of the closet. Like he was some kind of modern day demigod or some bullshit. You hummed gently, turning your body towards the door to try the door weakly, your hand wrapping around the door handle and shaking it with little to no force to actually get it open.

He chuckled at the sad attempt you made of trying to open the door, "It ain't going to open, believe me, I've already tried that." He said, his voice almost a murmur as he leaned against one of the walls of the closet, watching you struggle with the door. His eyes slowly traveled down from your face, down to your hips and to your beat up vans. Strange, he thought. He'd expect someone of your social status to have more expensive looking threads and shoes. Not like a librarian on vacation.

You side glanced up at him, adjusting your glasses. You felt absolutely wrecked, nerves and claustrophobia tugging at your sensitive stomach, it didn't help this closet was dimly lit and smelled like mold. 'What a great setting to interact in for the first time..' you thought bitterly, leaning your back against the wall opposite him.

He kept his eyes on your hips, letting his gaze rake over your body. He felt a weird and small pang of sympathy for you. You looked so small against the wall, and you looked like you were ready to jump out of your skin any moment now. It was different than when he usually had the unfortunate chance of speaking with a kook kid.

"Are you scared of small spaces or somethin' ?" He asked, his voice softer than usual as he spoke.

You nodded mutely in response, your expression probably resembling that of a deer in front of a truck. Sometimes you forgot JJ's voice carried a southern drawl to it, given he never spoke to you. You would hear him when he'd pass you in the school halls while talking to his friends animatedly or when he'd say something snarky in class to the teacher, his voice never directed towards you.

When you nodded, he mentally groaned. That was his luck. He ended up being stuck in here with a kook that was also terrified of small spaces. He let out a sigh, he would have to try and find a way to calm you down, since he was now stuck in this closet with you until whenever someone decided to let them out.

"How in the hell did you even manage to get yourself into a situation like this..?" He questioned, running a hand through his messy blonde hair.

You were asking yourself that question too, but i guess being so easy to push around wasn't really helping your case here. Truth was you were just a collateral victim of a prank which was meant for JJ, getting pushed into the small closet by mistake or just to make it worse for him by locking him up with a complete stranger.

You shook your head shrugging, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. You knew you had to say something, actual words at one point but your mind came up blank. Or your mouth wasn't able to say them out loud.

He let out another soft scoff, knowing deep down this was no accident. Some of his pogue buddies probably set this up just to screw around with him. Although, you didn't seem to know that. You looked genuinely clueless.

"My friends probably did this on purpose..."

He muttered, leaning against the opposite wall to you. He wasn't happy about this situation, especially not being locked in here with a girl for what could be hours. Which he would usually be elated about. But seeing you barely talked or moved, seemingly scared of loud sounds and sudden movements like a small animal, he was aware you weren't gonna makeout any time soon.

He looked you over again, his eyes roaming over your small and fidgety figure. In some weird way, he kind of felt bad for you. You looked so nervous and uncomfortable being stuffed in this dumb closet, and you looked like you didn't belong at this party in the first place.

"What were you even doing here anyway?... this ain't exactly a place a shy girl like you would go on your own free will..." he echoed the question once again, the curiosity and desire to fill the silence stronger than the fact that you were strangers.

"That's because it wasn't my own free will.." you spoke up in minutes of being almost completely silent, your voice small and weak.

He was both surprised and not surprised at your answer. He was surprised that you answered so quickly, but he could have guessed this wasn't your idea.

"Let me guess... one of your loud and obnoxious friends dragged you out here to try and get you to 'have fun'?"

Bingo! You nodded silently again, your eyes darting around his face taking in every detail, hopefully being able to recall every single one of them to draw or paint later.

He grumbled something under his breath. He knew it. From his experience, kooks were always so loud and overbearing. It was what he hated most about them, and yet, you didn't seem like that kind of girl at all... you were quiet and soft spoken, something he hadn't seen in a kook girl since... well, never really. "Figures.. can you not say no to them or somethin’ ?"

You stared at him silently, blinking as you raked your brain for what to say, your eyes narrowed just a hint. You were aware he usually spoke a lot but not this much. Or you were too quiet. You were also way too nervous to speak or think properly, having your lifetime crush speaking to you, like actually.

He was watching you intently, taking note of the expressions that flashed on your face as you tried to come up with an answer. You were obviously nervous, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know that. And there was something else about you... something he couldn't place his finger on. It was weird.

"You look like you're gonna pass out or something..." He commented, watching you closely.

You shook your head 'no', reaching to try the door again. You suddenly didn't feel so lucky you got this rare chance to speak and admire JJ shamelessly given you were stuck in a closet together. You were anxious and feeling like he could see right through you, see all the weird tendencies you had and judge you for being so pathetically in love with him for so long.

He chuckled softly as you tried to open the door, again and again. It honestly reminded him of a small animal trapped in a cage, frantically looking for a way out. Something about the way you were acting amused him. "There ain't no point trying to open it again, trust me, it's stuck good..."

JJ could tell you were anxious, and it was easy to guess why. It was probably terrifying being stuck in a small, dark, cramped closet with him of all people. And judging by how quiet and shy you were, this was probably one of the hardest social interactions you ever had.

"Jesus... can you even speak a full sentence?" He piped up after another few seconds of silence, his smirk returning to his face as he watched you struggle against the door.

You looked to the side, a small frown making its way on your face at his question. 'Not when you're so close to me that i can smell the sea salt water in your hair.' you groaned internally, still silent. You kept your eyes locked with his in the almost dark closet, scolding yourself for not being able to handle social interactions like normal people.

JJ's smirk widened at your expression, you looked like a kicked puppy, it was almost cute. He stood up straight, lazily pushing himself off the wall and slowly making his way towards you. When he was a few steps away from you, he stopped, looking you up and down with a hint of mockery.

"You're a real quiet thing, ain't ya?"

With a few more confident steps, he was now standing just in front of you, leaning his shoulder against the wall. He looked down at you again, his smirk still present on his face. You could almost feel the heat radiating off his body, him being so close. His ocean like scent mixed with the weed smell, filling the closet and making it even harder to breathe than it already was in here.

"You afraid of me or somethin'? "

"No.." your voice rung out without missing a beat this time, a soft and gentle sound as you frowned to your self. You were probably one of the few people who wasn't afraid of JJ. Years of following him from a distance and watching him closely took away the fear factor. If anything he'd probably be afraid of you.

JJ let out a quiet scoff at your answer, an odd response. He had expected you to be as afraid of him given the way you were acting. You were clearly nervous being in a small, dark, and cramped space with a man, yet you weren't afraid of him or his presence.

"You're an odd one then.." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, taking in your small, timid figure.

He was a few inches away from you, towering over your small frame. Being this close to you, he could see more details in your face. How your eyes were framed with small dark eyelashes behind your glasses, how your skin was unnaturally smooth and soft looking, and how your lips looked almost velvety, almost as if they were made of silk. In addition to that, your scent filled his nose now, mixing with his own and the smell of the closet. You actually smelled very good... which definitely wasn't something weird to be thinking. JJ found himself lost in thought the more he looked at you. You looked so... tender and yet the way you were acting, so nervous and small, you looked like a spooked stray dog. It didn't add up in his head, you were probably the first kook girl he had ever met that acted this way, it was making him curious. Just as he opened his mouth to ask something, a loud banging noise echoed from the other side of the door, making you jump slightly, surprised by the sudden sound.

The whole silent staring contest you both had going on was interrupted by a loud sound from the other side of the closet door, almost startling you to death given you were so focused on how beautiful JJ's eyes looked while he studied you intently. You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut for a second, adjusting your glasses and grimacing to yourself.

The sudden sound made JJ roll his eyes, whoever was on the other side of the door was clearly trying to be annoying.

"Oh come on..."

he grumbled, annoyed already by the person who was trying to interrupt. Before he could say anything else, the banging continued once again, this time twice as loud as before, making him grumble another curse underneath his breath. He was beyond annoyed now, a small scowl forming on his face at the constant knocking. He turned around, staring at the small closet door, his hands on his hips as he waited for the knocking again. He was about to say something, but just then, the door was suddenly swung open, making him nearly jump out of his skin.

He let out a surprised noise as he stumbled forward, nearly collapsing to the ground, but he managed to catch himself just at the last moment by grabbing the nearest thing which happened to be the closet wall, next to your head. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest, he was breathing heavily, the unexpected event nearly giving him a heart attack. After a few moments he slowly looked up, turning his head to see who had opened the door.

To say he looked surprised would be an understatement. Standing in front of him was none other than one of his pogue buddies, John B, who was smiling and laughing like this was the most fun he had in forever as he looked down at JJ. JJ quickly managed to regain his composure, standing up straight before speaking up:

"Are you tryin' to give me a damn heart attack, John B?"

You were just as startled as JJ was, for a second time in less than 2 minutes nonetheless. Your gaze shifted from looking up at JJ's side profile to the boy standing in the door way of the closet. John B, JJ's best friend since forever, someone you also saw on a daily basis while doing your... usual checking up on JJ. John B also probably didn't know who you were, and you wouldn't be surprised even in the slightest.

John B looked between you and JJ, a smirk slowly forming on his face as his eyes landed on the proximity between the two of them. John B leaned against the door frame, his arms folded over his chest as he spoke up, a hint of mockery in his tone. "Seems like you got yourself into a situation, huh JJ?"

JJ's eyes narrowed at his best friends tone, he immediately knew what he was implying. He shot him a small glare before speaking up, a hint of annoyance in his voice

"Can it, John B... it ain't what it looks like."

John B chuckled at his response, he clearly didn't believe JJ given the awkward and somewhat embarrassing situation the two of you were in. "It sure looks like it though. Locked up in a closet together, all alone. You two got up to anything in here?"

Your eyes darted between the 2 best friends, adjusting your glasses as your gaze landed on John B, his teasing words making your face heat up. The implication of getting up to anything with JJ was enough to probably give 9 year old you a aneurysm, "Excuse me?" you spoke up, trying to sound irritated at his words although you sounded so weak and shy you regretted speaking instantly.

John B chuckled again at your response, clearly enjoying making you both uncomfortable. The way you spoke was so quiet and awkward, it was almost laughable. JJ continued to glare at him, trying to non-verbally tell his friend to shut his damn mouth, but it obviously wasn't working.

"Oh... I see, there's a voice under there, huh? You sound like a damn mouse, girl.. can you speak louder than a whisper?"

He continued to smirk at you, now mocking the softness of your voice. JJ grimaced at what John B had just told you, a pang of guilt suddenly shooting through his chest. He didn't like the way John B was talking to you, in fact, he was getting a little mad that he was being so rude.

"She ain't gotta speak louder. Leave her alone." JJ spoke up, glaring at his friend once again, finding himself defending this stranger.

You looked down, scowling to yourself at his question, now definitely not speaking another word for the rest of the conversation, knowing you'd just slip away once they were distracted. Your finger pushed the frame of your glasses up and down, your eyes fixed on your beat up sneakers. This was certainly one hell of a first impression.

John B held his hands up in mock surrender, clearly enjoying the fact that he was getting both you and JJ annoyed. "Relax man, I was just messing with the poor mouse."

He joked, his eyes still on you, now watching your fiddling. JJ just scowled at him again, silently debating punching his friend square in the nose. The fact that he was making fun of you was bothering him more than it should. He was used to his friend making stupid jokes and being a dick, but he couldn't stand the thought of him mocking you, especially since you were acting nothing but polite and shy.

Mouse? you could see the resemblance i guess, with the small one word answers which sounded like small squeaks from the anxiety. Still, John B was being kind of a dick at the moment which caused your frown to deepen as you debated just making a run for it and disappearing.

John B chuckled quietly, not taking his eyes off you as you fiddled with your glasses. He knew he was being a dick, but he was just enjoying it too much. He suddenly had an idea in his mind, a way to further piss off JJ. With a sly smirk on his face, he spoke again, this time, directed solely at you, ignoring JJ completely. "So, mouse, what's your name?"

'Seriously? neither of them know my name?' you groaned internally, looking up to lock eyes with John B nervously. In moments like these you wished you had at least a bit of semblance of a back bone, and not just clam up like a dumbass, "Y/n.." you answered simply, your expression twitching slightly from having to repeat your name once again. You wanted to roll your eyes in annoyance so badly.

There was something about the way you said your name that made JJ's heart stutter in a way it never had before. It sounded almost magical coming out of your small lips, it was so... mellow, and yet so beautiful. John B's smile widened at your answer, obviously not expecting to get an actual answer and a name at that.

"Huh... nice name. Suits you." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, studying your face to figure out if he knew you or not. He came up blank, probably due to being tipsy.

JJ continued to stay silent, watching the interaction between his best friend and you. He was feeling a weird mix of anger and curiosity as he watched. You looked so much more fragile and unthreatening than he had thought. You were like a small cat, a cute but easily spooked cat. Or maybe a mouse, he wasn't sure which.

You felt awkward suddenly, the 3 of you going silent save from the music coming from downstairs after John B's comment about your name. You looked between them momentarily before stepping forward shyly to signal John B to move out the way so you could escape this weird and sufficiently awkward situation at once.

John B chuckled again as you stepped forward, his eyes following your every move. But just as you were about to slip out of the closet, he suddenly reached a hand out, blocking your way.

"Where do you think you're going, mouse?"

JJ furrowed his eyebrows at his friend's behaviour, he knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to annoy both of you, as well as prevent you from getting away. JJ had had just about enough

"Okay, that's enough John B. Don't you think you've teased the poor girl enough?"

John B sighed dramatically, pouting at JJ's annoyed response. He took a small step back, opening up the doorway once again "You're no fun. I was just having a little fun. Don't take it so seriously, JJ."

As much you enjoyed being in JJ's presence you hated social interactions and you wanted to just find your best friend to tell her that this was a bad idea and you should just skate home. So you took a final glance at JJ, before stepping out of the small cramped closet when John B removed his arm which was blocking your way hesitantly. But stepping out wasn't any better cause you were met with the party, still in full throttle, the music making your head feel weird, weirder than being stuck in a moldy closet with your childhood crush. There were less people on the floor you were on, but it was still crowded enough by drunken couples and some rowdy friend groups to make you feel anxious. This was most definitely a bad idea.

JJ watched you step out of the closet, a small pang of guilt shooting through his chest from knowing you were uncomfortable but now having no way to help the situation. He shot a glare at John B for the 10th time in the last 5 minutes through the doorway, silently warning his friend once again.

"You're a damn dick man. Why did you feel the need to be so rude to her?"

John B just shrugged, looking back at JJ with a sly smile as he replied "Because I thought it would be funny. Besides, I didn't think she'd answer me. I thought she was mute or something."

JJ grimaced, of course John B would find making fun of the shyest person he had ever met, fun. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning quietly. He took a deep breath before speaking up again:

"You really can be an annoying bastard, you know that? Sometimes i wonder how you even manage to speak with girls.."

You weaved through the mass of people at the house party, bumping into couples getting busy and grimacing in apology, trying not to stumble over your feet in the cramped space on the staircase. You quickly descended down the stairs, looking for your friend Maisy, to scold her for bringing you here in the first place. Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks. A hand that you recognized, and yet dreaded at the same time. JJ had followed you, and was now stood next to you at the bottom of the stairs.

He gently grabbed your hand, stopping you from walking away. His hand was calloused and rough from years of surfing, yet warm. He spoke up, trying to get your attention over the loud R&B music blaring from the speakers. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

You tensed up from the sudden contact and because well, you thought someone else was grabbing you to pull yet another dumb prank on you, not expecting JJ to follow you and try to talk to you. You shook your head 'no' because as much as you wanted to spend time with him, you knew you'd just clam up and make it weird because this was JJ and you were you.

He noticed how tense you suddenly became once his hand touched you, he couldn't help but silently worry in his head. He wanted to sigh at your immediate response of shaking your head no, but he decided to persist a little more despite not having any reason to:

"Please? I promise I won't make fun of you or anything. I just wanna talk."

"Well, i need to find my friend." you find yourself speaking, although you weren't sure if he heard you over the music or the myriad of sounds and things going on in this house. Really, it was surprising how the neighbors hadn't called the police yet.

JJ leaned closer to you, trying to hear your soft spoken words. He could just barely make out what you had said, but he heard it enough. He looked around for a moment, searching for your friend but not seeing them anywhere in the crowd. But it was a given, since he didn't even know who he was looking for. "Where is your friend? I'll help you look for them."

You shrugged, because you had the same question. Where the hell was Maisy anyway? she disappeared and expected you to what? have fun and party? as if you could do that. Your eyes were fixed on JJ's face, the one you knew and loved through the years, anxiously shifting on your feet at the feel of his big hand still wrapped around your wrist, stopping you from scurrying away.

JJ could sense your anxiousness, he could practically feel the anxious energy coming off your small frame. He subconsciously let his thumb slowly and gently caress your wrist, an attempt to somehow soothe you, even if only slightly. He didn’t like seeing you so anxious.

He suddenly realized that he was still holding your arm, gently keeping you by his side and preventing you from slipping away in the chaos of the house party. He had forgotten in the moment. He looked down at his hand on your arm, "Maybe they went outside.."

You could call her! yeah, you could do that... but what if big mouth Maisy actually showed up and saw JJ Maybank, the dude you had been crushing on since you were a 3rd grader, holding your wrist and actually speaking to you? She'll make this awkward and run her mouth, possibly getting you rejected at the same time. So, you thought it was best to just let him speak to you and then leave you to look for her alone. "What do you wanna talk about with me?" you asked, still quietly, hoping and praying he'd hear you and that you didn't come off as rude.

JJ was a little surprised at the fact that you still stayed by his side after he suggested looking for your friend. He honestly thought you would run off. He mentally shrugged, taking the opportunity to talk to you even more. He turned slightly to look down at you as you spoke, leaning forward to hear you better.

His heart skipped a beat as he heard your quiet voice. That same feeling of both guilt and curiosity ran through him again. How could one voice be so soft and quiet, yet so beautiful at the same time? The thought confused and intrigued him.

He took a moment to register that you had asked him a question, the shock of you actually talking to him making his brain fry for a second or two. He quickly brought himself back to reality, realising that he had to reply.

"I just wanted to apologize. About John B i mean, he's a massive dick, no doubt about that. I told him off.."

"It's okay.." you mumbled smiling slightly, adjusting your glasses with the hand that wasn't in JJ's grip. You actually managed to hold the conversation normally, albeit you were still squeaking out your words.

JJ's eyebrows raised at your smile, his eyes widening slightly. He wasn't expecting you to smile as an answer to his apology, it was the last reaction he had expected. And yet, it was a welcome one. It made him feel better, deep down he felt guilty for his friend's behavior.

He stared at you for another moment, the hand he was using to hold your wrist moving once again, his thumb still slowly caressing your skin. He hadn't even noticed he was doing it this time.

JJ quickly snapped out of the little trance and cleared his throat, speaking up again. He didn’t want to make things weird and freak you out. He could feel John B’s eyes on him, he knew the bastard was watching him from the top of the stairs and silently giggling about the whole thing. He pushed down his annoyance, his eyes moving away from your face and around the room, looking at the other people gathered around them. "You said this party was your friend’s idea, right?"

You nodded silently, glancing around the room for your stupid best friend. You were gonna kill Maisy for disappearing on you like this, especially at a party of this calibre. You tried to ignore how JJ was still holding onto your wrist, now rubbing his thumb over your skin to probably soothe you. It made you feel more nervous and anxious, the urge to bolt even more strong now. You didn't wanna mess it up and make it awkward or worse come off as a creep by staring at him or saying something stupid, although the last part was impossible given you barely spoke.

JJ bit the inside of his cheek as you silently nodded back to his question. He was starting to realize how hard you were to talk to, how shy you were. It made him feel bad. He found himself wishing that he could just hear your voice just a little louder. It was so gentle. It made him want to hear more of it, but he had no idea how to get you to speak more without making you uncomfortable.

He quickly stopped himself from thinking any further, realizing that he was starting to sound like a creep in his own head.

They stood there silently for a couple more seconds, as JJ desperately tried to think of something to say to break the silence without making things weird. He could still feel John B’s eyes on him, silently watching the whole situation and probably having the time of his life.

"So...how come I've never seen you around at school before? "

He tried, even though he knew the answer. He just needed to get you talking.

Ouch. You saw him at school all the time, even took routes around the school just to get to pass by him in the halls and hear him talk so loudly to his friends and laugh. So the question stung a little. You looked up at him, shrugging your shoulders, narrowing your eyes and blinking a couple of times, your brain desperately trying to just block out the sound of the music which was making your lungs feel like they were being shaken up.

JJ mentally cringed as he saw the slightly hurt look in your eyes, he regretted his choice of question immediately. Stupid. Of course you were at school, he saw you at school, he just never seen you with anyone.

He winced as he heard that music change to something even louder. The constant music was starting to grate his nerves.

"Can we go outside for a second? I can't even freaking hear myself think in here."

Your brows furrowed, considering his suggestion. It was a good idea, you could call Maisy, maybe have a cigarette too and let your ears get a break from this loud music blaring in them. So you nodded hesitantly, glancing around one last time in case you magically spotted your best friend.

JJ let out a breath of relief when you nodded your head in agreement. He was glad he didn’t have to try and shout over the music anymore. He turned, pulling gently on your wrist to lead you toward the front door. He weaved through people, avoiding getting into conversations. He was determined to get you alone outside so he could talk to you.

Finally, they made it outside. JJ released your wrist as they reached the front door. He took a deep breath, enjoying the sudden lack of music and the relative quiet (well, aside from the still loud music coming from inside). JJ took a step away from you as he turned to face you.

"Thank god, I thought my ears were gonna bleed with that damn music in there."

'Yeah..' you agreed mentally once again, nodding with a small smile and adjusting your glasses as you stood on the porch, finally able to breathe fresh air, a stark contrast from the muted and sweaty smelling air inside. You needed to start saying words out loud, instead of just answering in your mind.

JJ leaned against the porch railing, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The air was much cooler outside, compared to the stuffy heat that was present inside.

He took a few seconds to study you as you stood across from him. The light from the porch made you look even more softer, if that was even possible. You looked so small in that moment, it made him wonder how you had managed to make it to high school.

He shook himself out of his thoughts, clearing his throat before speaking up again. He couldn’t believe that he was actually talking to you, and the fact that he hadn’t messed it up yet was a surprise to him. He didn’t want to think about how bad he would screw it up in the future.

"So uh...wanna explain why you were hiding in a closet? "

There. A question to get the conversation going. He mentally cursed himself in his head, realizing how stupid the question sounded.

"I got pushed in at the same time as you." You found the courage to speak yay! and not so shaky and quiet either. Maybe it was the fact that he thought you were just hiding in the moldy closet, like an actual mouse, which made you wanna defend yourself. That's what was missing from this situation, for him to think you were an actual dumbass who was hiding in a closet because she was afraid of party sounds.

JJ found himself chuckling, raising an eyebrow at your answer. He didn’t expect that particular answer, he was expecting you to say that you just decided to hide in the closest instead of socializing. But pushed in? He could actually believe that. "Damn. Got pushed into a closet with me? That’s gotta be some pretty shitty luck."

'I'd like to think it was kinda lucky of me to get pushed in with you, of all people...' you laughed internally. You glanced at him, tearing your eyes from the street in front of the house, narrowing your eyes at his words, but deciding to just stay silent. It was better than saying something to counter it or even worse.. to try and be funny and fail.

JJ’s eyebrows nearly raised at the sound of your small, quiet laugh. He hadn’t expected you to laugh at his joke, he was actually surprised that you had responded at all. That laugh was definitely enough to make him keep going to get that sweet, soft sound to come back.

“You know, you have a really pretty laugh..“ The sentence was out of his mouth before he could even realize it. He internally winced, hoping he hadn’t just made things weird by complimenting you. Not that he didn't compliment girls usually. If anything, that's how he managed to score in the first place. But in your case he wasn't trying to flatter you to get in your pants. He simply found you interesting.

You could feel yourself blush at his compliment, not realizing you actually laughed out-loud instead of just thinking about it in your head. You scolded yourself internally for reacting to such a casual sentence, he was just being nice after all, not asking you to marry him. "Thanks." you managed to mutter out quietly, hoping it sounded at least a tad bit grateful, and not rude and clipped.

JJ’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that adorable blush on your face. He had never seen you so expressive yet quiet at the same time since he'd met you less than an hour ago. He silently smirked to himself, now he knew how to make you blush. He mentally noted that fact down for later. The fact that you had mumbled out a simple “thanks” in response, just made everything even better for him. He would take anything you responded with, just so he could get you to keep talking and hear that angelic voice.

He shifted against the railing, his hand moving to his back pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. He quickly took one out, putting it between his lips. He glanced down at you as he pulled out a lighter to light the cigarette.

He held the pack out to you, silently offering you a cigarette as well. Which as he did, he realized that it wasn't really the epitome of smooth or romantic. But he already had his hand out stretched. JJ was becoming annoyed at himself for overthinking his every move, feeling like he was losing his footing on a ground he'd navigated countless times.

A small amused grimace made its way on your face despite trying to stop it, silently debating if you should take a cigarette. You pulled out your own lighter, stepping a little closer, not too much to look weird, lighting his cigarette before taking one for yourself. 'Wow.. so confident, lighting his cigarette for him.' you quipped sardonically in your head as you lit the cigarette for your self and took a long drag from it.

JJ’s eyes widened a little in surprise when you stepped closer to him, so close that you could reach out and touch him, if you wanted to. He watched you flick your lighter on, a small wave of excitement rushing through him as you held the light to his cigarette. He leaned his head forward slightly, putting the other end of the cigarette to his mouth and taking a drag. He exhaled the smoke as he watched you light your own cigarette.

He almost laughed when he saw the small grimace that came across your face.

He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes studying the features of your face. You looked so beautiful like this, in the soft light of the porch with a cigarette between your lips. It was enough for him to realize that he wanted to see you like this more - not just tonight but anytime he could.

He turned away slightly as he exhaled the smoke, trying to calm his thoughts once again. He didn’t know you and yet here he was, already getting addicted to being close to you and hearing you talk.

The cigarette was a welcome relief given the fact that you were on edge since you came to the stupid party, leaning on the railing and taking long drags to fill your lungs with the smoke, the nicotine swirling around in your brain. Here you were, smoking a cigarette casually with the guy you were pinning after for years. 3rd grade you would probably faint and break her glasses in 2 if she knew.

JJ silently watched how you exhaled the smoke that was going into your lungs. It was hypnotizing watching you do this, something about it just made him want to keep watching. It was just so oddly satisfying to watch you smoke. He knew it probably wasn’t, but he didn’t care in that moment. It was oddly pleasing in a way he couldn’t explain.

He took another drag, letting the cigarette sit between his lips as he spoke. "You smoke often?"

"Yeah.. helps with the whole social anxiety thing.." you nodded your words followed by a small dry chuckle as you side glanced at him, exhaling the smoke to the side to avoid blowing it directly in his face.

JJ couldn’t help but notice the little side glance at him. That action, for some reason, made his stomach flip and flutter like it had a mind of its own, the way your eyes fixed on him momentarily making him nervous for some reason. A small smirk formed on his face as he blew out his own puff of smoke.

"Social anxiety, huh?"

He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes looking straight at you as he did. He chuckled slightly, he never thought you would be the type to suffer from social anxiety, mostly because of his prejudice towards your social status. You had always seemed so quiet and reserved, but he never assumed it was because of that. But, as he looked at you now, taking a puff of your cigarette and shyly glancing at him every so often, he was starting to realize that maybe social anxiety made sense. The thought made him realize that he really didn’t know you at all, and that he desperately wanted to change that.

He leaned against the railing once again, taking another drag from the cigarette as he decided on what to say next.

Before he had the chance to do so, none other than your best friend Maisy, burst through the front door, her eyes fixed on you and probably not noticing JJ at first, "Y/n/n! where have you been, girl? You just missed the whole ordeal with Maybank getting locked in a closet with some random girl. It was so crazy.. I looked for you so i could tell you all about it!" she gasped excitedly as she clasped her hands on your shoulders, her loud voice and sudden appearance startling you and JJ. She could not, for the life of her read the room. Ever.

JJ’s eyes immediately went from you to Maisy, he was going to attempt to make more conversation until your best friend burst through the door.

He stiffened at hearing his last name, instantly tensing at what Maisy had said, now staring at the strawberry blonde mess of hair when she stepped in front of him to grab your shoulders.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, glancing over Maisy's shoulder to signal JJ's presence, glaring at her subtly. You didn't want her to say something stupid and reveal your feelings by mistake and embarrass you in front of him. Maisy’s eyes suddenly widened as she realized that she had walked out in the middle of a conversation you having with someone. She followed your gaze and looked over her shoulder, noticing JJ for the first time.

She gasped as her eyes widened even more, her look of surprise quickly turning into a smirk as she glanced back and forth from JJ to you.

You shook your head as if to say, 'don't, i'll kill you.

Maisy, the best friend she was, completely forgot about the look you had given her and the silent threat you were trying to convey in seconds upon receiving it. She had suddenly realized that you were standing beside JJ by yourself, and she was about to take full advantage of the situation. She smirked at you and wiggled her eyebrows dramatically, silently teasing you in her own way.

"Maisy. Please." you widened your eyes, silently scolding her and desperately suppressing the urge to groan out loud. Maisy was well aware of your MASSIVE years long crush on JJ, and you knew she was happy about this, in her own way, of course.

Maisy’s smirk grew as she saw how you widened your eyes and silently begged her not to say anything. She knew how big of a crush you had on JJ and how long you had wanted a moment like this. She was going to make the most of this.

She feigned innocence, silently raising an eyebrow at you as if to say "what".

JJ glanced back and forth between the two of you, picking up on the tension that he couldn’t fully understand. He glanced at you, noticing the look in your eyes as you looked at your friend. He could almost feel the pleading in your eyes, silently begging her not to say anything.

He looked at your friend, catching the smirk that was on her face. He silently tried to figure out what was going on. What was going through the mind of your bratty friend in that moment?

Mimsy glanced at JJ, noticing the curious look he had on his face. She couldn’t help but tease her friend, this was a once lifetime chance and she wasn’t going to pass up on the opportunity to tease her just a little.

She continued her innocent look as she turned back to you. She smirked as she leaned her head in your direction, acting as if she was going to whisper something into your ear. But instead, she spoke loudly, making sure JJ could hear her too. She loved tormenting you just a bit too much.

"You're alone with JJ Maybank of all people. How does it feel?"

Maisy said, a sly grin on her face as she watched your reaction. She was enjoying messing with you and making a fool of you in front of the guy that you liked a little too much for her liking. She didn't care, she loved embarrassing you. It was a friend’s right to tease their other friend in front of a potential love interest, right?

"Embarrassing, given you're here now." you glared at her, probably the most expressive JJ had seen you since you started speaking in the closet. A small sigh escaped your lips and you barely contained the urge to face-palm dramatically.

Maisy let out a loud gasp, acting as if she was offended by your words. She put her hand over her heart, a dramatic look crossing her face as she spoke. She was really enjoying this just so she could get a reaction out of you, which in turn would get a reaction out of JJ.

“Oh, wow. You’re being a bit rude, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’d say that in front of JJ. So insulting.”

JJ let out a stifled laugh as your friend dramatically pretended to be offended. He couldn’t help but find her antics amusing as he watched the whole scene unfold in front of his eyes. But he really couldn’t help but notice the glare you gave to your friend. It was the most expressive facial expression he had seen you wear so far, and he had to admit that he rather liked it. There was something about you standing up for yourself that he found attractive, even if it was just in a small way.

"And also I'm gonna kill you for ditching me like that.. " you added quietly, slapping Maisy's shoulder teasingly even though you were still glaring at her.

Misy let out another gasp as you slapped her shoulder. She feigned a look of pain on her face as she dramatically winced and rubbed the spot where you had slapped her in a playful way. She let out a loud melodramatic "ow". Clearly she was just messing with you at this point.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ditch you. I just had to do something REALLLLYYY important." she countered, her words dripping with suggestive undertones rather than genuine apology.

"Like?" you raised one brow, feigning annoyance.

Maisy shrugged her shoulders slightly, trying her best to look innocent. It was all an act, and she was enjoying it so much. She loved getting a rise out of you just so she could see the way you reacted and how you acted in front of JJ. In another world, she would’ve been a professional drama actor with the way she was able to act so well.

"Just something..., you know. The usual. Important, fun, necessary stuff."

"You need to drive me home. I hate this stupid party." you put out your cigarette, sighing and groaning out loud this time as you adjusted your glasses, leaning away from the railing.

Your best friend laughed at your irritation. She knew that you hated parties and that you dreaded them, that’s why she’d convinced you to come to this one in the first place. It was just her way of being a good friend.

"Alright, alright. Stop being such a prude. I’ll take you home, you baby. Just let me say 'bye' to a few people first. You’re such a buzzkill, you know that?"

"Ugh Maisy.. you're just gonna take forever." you groaned once again at the thought of having to follow her around while she bid her never-ending goodbyes.

"I'll just skate home. Where's your car? i left my board in there." at that point, given how quiet JJ was you forgot momentarily that he was there, speaking freely and more expressively.

Misy raised her eyebrows dramatically as you mentioned skating home. If there was one thing she hated more than parties, it was your habit of skating everywhere. It was like you were allergic to cars. She let out a fake gasp and dramatically put her hand on her chest like she had been wounded.

“Skate home this late!? Alone!? You’re joking right?”

"Unlock the car. I can see it from here." you deadpanned, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, nodding towards her car parked a bit messily on the lawn of the house.

Maisy scoffed and turned towards where her car was parked. She pulled out her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car.

“Ugh. Fine. But if you get kidnapped or murdered, I’m not taking the blame. You’re such a pain, you know that right?”

"Bye... I'll see you tomorrow when you're hung over." you waved a hand in her face dramatically, the gesture sarcastic.

Maisy rolled her eyes at your sarcastic wave. She couldn’t help but smirk at how much of a pain you were being. She put a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow at you in a sarcastic way.

“Ugh, thanks for that. I look forward to your sarcastic and overly annoying comments in the morning. See you, baby.”

With that she turned on her heel and walked back into the house, heading back into the party with a smirk still on her face. She was beyond satisfied with herself. She had pushed your buttons enough for you to be a bit more expressive in front of JJ and get a reaction from both you and him. It was one of her favorite pastimes to see you flustered and a bit irritated just at her presence.

The moment she disappeared inside, the only person left outside on the porch was you and JJ.

After Maisy had gone back inside, the porch suddenly felt much quieter than before. The only sounds heard were the crickets in the background and the muffled noise from the party inside. JJ glanced over at you, his eyes studying your face once again. He couldn’t help but notice the change in your demeanor the moment your annoying friend left.

As soon as your best friend left you were aware that you were alone with JJ again. You glanced at him adjusting your glasses nervously, "sorry about that.."

JJ couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as you nervously adjusted your glasses the moment you realised you were alone with him. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the railing of the porch once again, his gaze fixed on you.

"No need to apologize. Your friend is… something else.”

Back to clamming up like a dumbass you go. You nodded silently, a small apologetic smile tugging at your lips. You were going to skate home, but you weren't sure how to.. end the conversation with JJ? should you just leave? wave at him? no... that's too casual, he doesn't even know you. Saying bye felt pathetic.

JJ chuckled again as you fell back into your shy, nervous demeanor. He could tell that you were overthinking the entire situation in the moment, trying to find the right way to leave. He thought that you looked so awkward and nervous. It was almost cute how unsure of yourself you were.

He pushed himself off the railing and took a step towards you.

"You’re still gonna skate home?"

You hummed faintly and nodded, looking out to Maisy's car. You didn't hate the idea of skating home, given you had your earphones with you and you could just take a shortcut to your house from here.

He couldn't help but smirk slightly as you hummed weakly and nodded. He took a couple more steps towards you, closing the gap between the two of you completely. He stood right in front of you, looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. "Not afraid of being kidnapped or murdered like your friend said?"

"I skate at night pretty often." you stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, your voice back to its quiet and soft tone again.

JJ smirked even more as you stated your regular night time skating routine as if it was natural. He let out an amused chuckle, his eyebrows raising at the idea of you skating home alone in the dark so often.

"You skate at night often? You must have a death wish, doll."

You furrowed your brows at his nickname, whipping your head to look up at him with an expression resembling confusion. It was mostly to hide how flustered it made you, a small frown forming on your face, which wasn't supposed to be rude in any way, you were just... thrown off.

He smirked as you whipped your head up to look at him, your face showing a look of confusion mixed with… dare he say it, was that a hint of blush on your cheeks? He let out a small chuckle as he noticed your small, almost pouty frown. "What's with that look for, doll? You got a problem with the new nickname?"

You pursed your lips, as if mulling over the nickname in your head and dissecting it. He had no reason to call you that, but you knew JJ even though he didn't know you. You knew he was carefree and casual with everyone, so it wasn't hard for him to say certain things or make jokes. A part of you had always been envious of that, ever since you started liking him. Maybe that's why you liked him. He was the opposite of you, and in some ways you wished you could be like him, or like the girls you knew he usually went for.

He observed your facial expressions closely as you seemed to be deep in thought. He could practically hear the gears turning in your head as you thought about the nickname he had given you. He didn’t know why he called you "doll", it just came out naturally in the moment. He had a habit of nicknaming people, especially pretty ones, without even thinking about it. But for some reason, he was more interested in your reaction to it this time. It was the first nickname he had given you, and he wondered how you would react to it.

He chuckled softly to himself as he watched you purse your lips slightly, your facial expression almost looking like you were analyzing and dissecting the nickname he had given you. He couldn’t help but feel amused at the way you were acting. You were so quiet and soft-spoken, so different from anything he was used to. It was almost endearing in a way. He found your shyness refreshing and cute.

You decided you had enough of just standing there awkwardly and you looked up at him, nodding in greeting and walking towards the steps off the porch, your feet moving slowly, as if you were hesitating, afraid not to create a hole through the wood or something. You didn't wanna leave obviously, but you were awkward and weird and flustered easily and he was... well, JJ. You decided that you liked pining after him from afar from your camera lenses and behind corners rather than embarrassing yourself by talking to him face to face.

JJ watched as you nodded in greeting and began to walk down the steps of the porch. He let out a small chuckle as he noticed the slow and hesitant way you moved, as if you were afraid to break something on the way. He found your nervous mannerisms to be endearing, and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in your head at that moment.

As you started walking away, he couldn’t help but step forward and speak up before you got too far.

"Hey, wait."

He took a few steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you again as he spoke up, his voice low and gentle. "You’re just gonna leave like that, doll?"

"Well.. yeah?" you grimaced hesitantly, curious as to why he seemed so adamant on speaking with you even though you were silent most of the time.

He raised an eyebrow at your hesitancy and grimace. He couldn’t help but feel a mix of annoyance and interest at the fact that you were just going to leave without a second thought. He had wanted to talk to you more, and he wasn’t about to give up just yet.

"You can’t just leave after you’ve barely said anything at this party. You’re too quiet, it’s a little weird."

Ouch again. He probably didn't mean to make another stingy comment, but you still felt the sting a little. You didn't let it show though, raising your brows and adjusting your glasses, looking at him as if expecting him to continue, despite the obvious figurative period at the end of his sentence.

He noticed the subtle flash of hurt in your eyes at his comment, but he didn’t apologize for it. He had a reputation to maintain after all. He raised an eyebrow in return at your raised brows and expression, expecting you to say something. When you didn’t, his eyes narrowed slightly as if he was annoyed that you weren’t responding. "Is that all you’re gonna do, just stare at me?"

You looked to the side as if considering his question, nodding slowly and silently. You knew he probably didn't like it, you weren't the kind of person that would hang around JJ Maybank after all. But you couldn't help it, your brain just didn't wanna speak sometimes, it was like it was selectively mute, which was very asshole-ish of it.

He let out a low sigh at your nod and silent response. He found it both annoying and endearing at the same time how reticent you were. He wasn’t used to someone being this quiet and reserved around him. Usually girls would cling to him or talk endlessly, never shutting up.

He took a small step closer to you, his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked down at you. He leaned forward slightly, his voice low and gruff as he spoke. "You can at least say something, doll."

"Something." you spoke without realizing, the word soft and quiet even though it was more sarcastic than anything.

A surprised laugh escaped his lips at your unexpected sarcastic response. He didn’t expect you to actually say something, let alone something sarcastic.

"Clever."

He said dryly as a smirk formed on his face, his eyebrows raising slightly. He was enjoying this more than he cared to admit, he wasn’t used to people being sarcastic back to him, not someone as quiet as you anyway.

He leaned in slightly closer, his smirk slowly morphing into a small, amused smile. He liked how blunt and sarcastic you could be, and the fact that you were being sarcastic with him was almost funny. "You sure know how to make conversation, doll."

You raised your brows and nodded looking to the side once again as if to say 'i know right?', a small scoff leaving your lips.

He chuckled softly at your raised brows and subtle scoff. It was like you were trying to match his confidence and snarky attitude but by being quiet at the same time, and he couldn’t help but find it amusing. He took another small step forward, getting even closer to you. "You sure are a sassy one, doll. Most people would be a stuttering mess in front of me right now."

'I am stuttering... mentally.' you thought, fixing him with your gaze. You were sure you were plenty nervous in front him anyway, stuttering would just make you explode probably. You were sure that would actually happen if it came down to it.

He could see the hint of nervousness in your eyes as you fixed him with a steady gaze. He knew that you were probably feeling very nervous and intimidated by his presence, but you were doing a good job at not letting it show. It was refreshing to him that you weren’t falling all over yourself in front of him like most girls did.

"You’re awfully quiet though. How come you’re not all over me like most girls are?" He asked, his voice laced with sarcasm and subtle curiosity.

'Oh, how i would love to-..' you stopped that thought before it actually finished in your mind, shaking it out of your brain quickly. Your version of being all over him was stalking him around and taking pretty artsy and stalkerish pictures of him from afar. Of course that was embarrassing to think about, especially when he was standing right in front of you, talking and giving you casual nicknames like 'doll and mouse.'

He noticed the brief second when you seemed to zone out for a moment before snapping yourself out of it. He couldn’t help but be intrigued by the look that had crossed your face, if only for a split second. He raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor and wondered what had just gone through your head.

"You sure love zoning out, doll. You alright in that head of yours?"

You nodded swiftly, looking back up at him. Still, you couldn't seem to get a word out, which was becoming annoying for you. You can talk to him, he's not gonna bite.

He could sense your frustration at your inability to speak, even though he could also tell that you were trying to remain calm and collected in front of him. He found your struggle both endearing and irritating at the same time.

He chuckled softly before speaking again, his voice soft and casual. "You know you can talk to me, right? Like, actually say something out loud."

"I'm a girl of few words." you spoke up, pursing your lips gently as you looked up at him, nodding in a self-assured way.

He chuckled again at your response, his eyes fixed on your pursed lips. There was something strangely intriguing about the way you looked at him, even with your glasses in the way. "I can tell, doll. You’re practically mute." like an actual doll, that was even more funnier to think about in JJ's mind.

He found himself moving closer to you again, a smirk playing on his lips. He was enjoying the fact that you were struggling to speak, and secretly found it cute how shy and awkward you were around him.

"You’re a little mouse, aren’t ya? Too shy to talk?"

You hated that word when it was used to describe your quietness by others, but when it came out of his mouth and it rolled off his lips you found it almost... sweet. The way he seemed to weigh his words and keep his rowdy and loud behavior in check made you feel.. special? but also pitied, like he was scared of scaring you away. You raised your brows, adjusting your glasses and smiling slightly at him, nodding again after a few seconds.

He could see the hint of annoyance in your eyes when he called you a mouse, but it was gone as soon as he saw you smile slightly.

"Awww, look at that, she finally smiled. I didn’t think it was possible with you being so quiet."

He mocked your silence once more, just to tease you a bit more. He found your reactions and facial expressions entertaining, even if you were silent most of the time.

Somehow you found the courage to reach up and smack his shoulder playfully, glaring at him half heartedly. The action surprised even yourself, retracting your hand fast in fear that you might've made him uncomfortable.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise when you reached up and smacked his shoulder, the action catching him off guard. It was the first time you had physically touched him, and he couldn’t help but feel a small spark of electricity at the contact. He also noticed the way you retracted your hand quickly, as if you were afraid of what he might do.

He laughed softly at the look on your face, his smirk widening.

"Did you just SMACK me, mouse?"

"Sorry.." you stuttered out, stepping back a little nervously. It was supposed to be a casual teasing smack but as per usual, you made things awkward and weird. Just like you always did.

He chuckled again at your stuttered apology, the sound low and gruff. He found your nervous mannerisms and stuttering quite endearing. It was an odd thing, being intrigued by someone who hardly talked and was very awkward. He took a step closer to you, closing the distance between you again. "Don’t apologize, doll. I’m not mad." He said lowly, his smirk fading into a soft smile.

You nodded quickly, turning away suddenly and walking towards Maisy's car to retrieve your board and skate home. God, you had spoken to him more than you ever did in these 8 years of pining after him. And it was so nerve wrecking, having someone have some much control over you without even knowing.

As you walked away, JJ couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment that you were leaving already. He watched you walk towards Maisy's car, and a part of him wanted to call out to you to stay, but he didn't.

He couldn't quite understand why, but there was something about you that he found strangely captivating. Despite the fact that you were very shy and awkward around him, he felt strangely drawn to you. He didn’t want the conversation to end just yet.

He thought about calling out to you to wait, but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. Instead, he just watched as you walked away, his eyes fixed on your retreating form.

Maybe it was the way you had looked at him with those shy, behind-the-glasses eyes, or the soft, almost sarcastic responses you had given him despite your quiet nature. Something just made him want to keep talking to you, even if all you did was just nod and stay silent most of the time. Maybe that's what JJ needed, someone quiet enough to help him ground his loudness. But that thought was shaken away when he realized you were a stranger and the 2 of you might not even interact ever again.

JJ was still standing there at base of the porch steps, watching as you opened the back seat of Maisy's car. He raised an eyebrow at the state of the car, thinking to himself about how messy it was. As you retrieved your board from under the pile of clothes and Gatorade bottles, he watched your every movement intently.

When you suddenly turned around and waved at him, JJ couldn’t help but feel a fluttering in his chest. He couldn’t quite understand why, but he found the gesture strangely adorable.

He raised his hand in response, waving back at you.

"Night, mouse. Don't get lost on the way home."

He called out, his smirk returning to his face. He couldn't help but tease you a little before you left, it was too hard not to poke at your shy demeanor.

You couldn't help but smile at his use of the nickname again, placing your board on the sidewalk and glancing at him one last time before finally forcing yourself to skate away down the sidewalk, the sound of the party becoming distant as you skated down the street.

JJ watched as you placed your board on the sidewalk and started skating away. He couldn’t help but notice the small smile that had appeared on your face when he had called you 'mouse' again. He felt a small twinge of satisfaction being the cause of the smile, even if it was a small one.

—♡‧

A/n: Okay so... what do we think about the first interaction? I decided mid-way that I'm making this multiple parts..☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ if this does well I'll post part 2.. JJ is such a yapper, and the reader is.. not. I'll take this down if people don't read it but i have an entire story about these 2 :( I'm just curious if this was too long

[postsforposting]

that's an incredibly negative view. i don't think people should default to steelman; i do think taking a positive view, especially of toneless plain text, should be the default. it makes for a pleasant atmosphere. unfortunately people, especially online, seem to think the meanest view of those around them is.....a good thing? how it should be??? that there's no other way to do things???

we really can just. not. do that. believing other people mean well is....a pretty basic requirement not only for civility but also for simple geniality.

and again, "it sure can be stated in a negative or entitled way, but that is true of literally everything. that isn't the nature of the sentiments expressed here." i didn't rephrase anything.

the difference is your attitude vs mine about other people that neither of us know. everyone knows a "bad attitude" sours everything, not because the rest of the world is suddenly foul, but because that's what you personally see. most people have the self awareness that's a personal problem and they should not change how they treat other people based on....personal mood. you can feel annoyed while understanding "annoyance and selfishness" is your own miasma and not what others meant.

that's. really the entire thesis. if we're going to declare hate is the default, and it's this hard for people to understand, perhaps we need to demonstrate why that's a bad idea.

"where is the content"

if we interpret the meaning in your way, this is someone who is either new to fandom or to a particular website. it is a normal question to ask. most people in the world never even know settings and manuals exist, let alone look at, understand, or change them: the things that control their experience. for clarity given the nature of this conversation, i do not mean "haha what a fucking entitled jackass" in the sense of your use of "ignorant"; i mean "figuring out and understanding things is hard for most people". let alone people who are new to a thing. asking something like this is normal, expected, and necessary. responding in the tune of "what an asshole" is unkind and establishes a gross atmosphere.

i daresay a lot of people are familiar with the lucky 10,000 comic. everyone likes that, but when it comes time to practice it? yeesh.

you misunderstood what i said above; i don't think it would be useful or correct to dismiss that as ""fucking ignorant"". it sure does make a lot of people feel good to do that though. which is the problem.

even going "where is the content????" is often "i am frustrated that i can't find these wonderful things everyone else easily finds, will someone show me". "where the fuck is everything" is the same idea in a much more combative tone; for some strange reason, it seems like that would be seen LESS negatively given the worldviews in this post.

imo, generally people ask "where is the content" to express that they have noticed there is less now than there used to be. hence: i love this so much, why don't other people.

people write in the style of how they talk when having an in person conversation. generally nobody goes around delicately crafting their punctuation to avoid the slew of wrong interpretations that are possible with any statement. let alone the cultural differences that can contribute to that. people assume you're going to understand them, or at least that you'll ask for clarification and not default to jumping down their throat. like, you know. the way people navigate normal conversations.

i don't know why people should have to put that much effort into what they say, while listeners not only don't but aren't expected to put in any thought to how they're interpreting it. the speaker has to accommodate literally every possible way they could be interpreted, including batshit aggressive ones (which means they have to assume their listeners are both.....ignorant....and nasty? unpleasant way to live.), while the listener gets to assume their knee jerk and negative assumptions are perfect and they can't have possibly misunderstood or inserted things that aren't there?

fuckin weird.

"why has all the hype died down"

if most people understand this, either this person is one of the ones that do not, or they don't mean it strictly literally.

if they do not understand it, again, asking why is a normal and expected thing. lucky ten thousand, yeah? responding negatively to that is....not nice. does not create a pleasant atmosphere. i don't think most people are familiar with serious fandom; most people aren't part of it, meaning they watch a thing, like it and move on without engaging further. the "fandom" people are generally familiar with is juggernauts that have lasted decades, things with dedicated yearly events: things that have never died down and the average person always likes. it is normal to think that if you like a thing, you don't suddenly stop. that's wrong, but it's how people think of fandom.

if they do not mean it literally, imo it usually means something to the effect of "why did people stop liking this". a normal thing to ask, especially if they also don't understand the fad nature that most fandoms go through.

"Why is there no more content why did everyone leave"

follows naturally from the previous. "there is nothing" generally means "i can't find anything". it's a request for help. people are uninclined to phrase it as "please help" because.....a lot of people respond to that with "haha what a fucking ignorant asshole". it should not be hard to see why that's destructive.

it could also mean "there is way less", which again, is normal to wonder. "there is way less" is only asked if you....want more. because you enjoy it. that brings us to

"it's about the blatent dismissal of creators' work and being content-hungry"

which you unambiguously mean in a negative way.

"i am sad that there is less" does require that the speaker enjoy the content and would like more. that is....the opposite of "blatent dismissal". the most common fan question is "will there be a sequel" and "what's the release date". you seem to think those are disgustingly hateful things to ask, which is a bit odd given that most fandoms get upset when their canon content is cancelled.

"i like this so much that i want more" is second breakfast and elevensies type behavior. of course people are.....content hungry. i think it's a bit mean to take gollum's view that pippin and merry are nassssty wicked hobbitses for that. it should be obvious that such an attitude drives people away and makes it feel like their appreciation isn't wanted.

....

i gotta say, i'm tickled pink that people who identify as "serious fans" deny that there can be meaning beside what you personally interpret, especially when the common fandom sentiment is "oh that was a clumsy accident, it doesn't mean anything deeper" while.....inserting all this extra meaning for actual, real, people who haven't had years to craft what they mean. we imbue two seconds of thought with hatred, but nothing for years' worth of a deliberate act?

"there is less" is about those who stopped. it is not about those who remain. it's quite obviously not about you. to answer with "it's not dead, i'm still posting" is to insert yourself where you weren't addressed. sir this is a wendy's. even when it IS a personal question, that's not inherently a demand to perform, it is literally just interest in you and your thoughts. "why" is not a hateful question. and even, EVEN a personal question, you still really can just. not answer at all. regardless of the valence you assign to it.

people are always going to have the same questions as other people, because every day someone new shows up, or someone old has a new thought. reality and your reaction to it are separate things. if they were not, we would have to shout down every kid asking endless whys, since obviously the parent's annoyance and frustration must be synonymous with the kid being a hateful greedy dismissive monster telling its mother she's not good enough, a child who needs to be taught that expressing interest is a sin. bad way to go about interacting with other people, if i do say so myself.

if you don't enjoy the culture of having everything you say reprocessed into its secret and true evil meaning that you obviously totally intended, perhaps we should. just not do that. to other people. as a general rule.

hostility is unpleasant to be around. there shouldn't even be "doubt" to benefit from, but even then, assuming other people aren't evil should not be treated as a sin. whereas doubt literally is a canonical sin.

'Where is all the Deadpool and Wolverine content'

'Why has all the hype died down'

'Why is there no more content why did everyone leave'

Meanwhile the people who are making the content are left feeling insulted because lord forbid we're not enough. Dude stfu and make your own stuff or didn't complain.

Do you see me whining about Boondock Saints? No! Because that's an old franchise and there's not near as much stuff as they're used to be, but I love everything that comes from it. And I don't ever complain.

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

The whole Star Wars universe is so insane actually it's making my head hurt

Putting aside the fact that the entire galaxy is interconnected via space travel with more cultures and societies than the human mind can comprehend, the history is so, so old. The spacefaring history of the galaxy goes 100,000 years into the past, that's twice as much as the time between today and the extinction of neanderthals. And look how long it took us to figure out space travel, the history of individual planets will be even older. Look how long ago before the movie timeline SWTOR takes place, and there's already so many ancient ruins. No matter how far back you go, there will always be something older. Lost cities, technology, cultures covering the surfaces of planets. Entire civilizations built on whalefalls they believe to be mountains. So many remains of space vessels scattered on planetary surfaces, and even more that were left to float through space forever, their crews long dead. The spaces between planets are vast and there is nothing that would allow corrosion and decay except the UV radiation from stars. Stray too far from regular hyperspace routes and you might encounter these ghosts.

The entire galaxy is a graveyard

[escha-ashengrotto]

His Small But Intimate Gestures

Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader

Summary: Azul and his subtle, physical affections for you.

Notes: Established relationship. Azul calls you "sweetheart".

A/N: I wrote this in second person POV but this was actually originally written with Eszul dynamic in mind. I was thinking of my ship when I wrote this a few months back for inspiration. I saw this in my drafts once more and decided to finally upload it :)

Azul brushing your hair out of your face.

You were busy writing on your notebook, comparing the details of your notes to the information on the book in front of you. You were so focused with studying that you didn't pay attention to the stray strands of hair falling to your face. Except for that silver-haired person sitting beside you. His gloved hand reached out to you, brushing the strands of hair away from your face.

"Your hair is getting in the way," Azul said gently as he tucked the stray hairs behind your ear before smiling at you. "There. Now I get to see your beautiful face again."

Azul blowing something out of your eye.

"Ah! Zul. Zul, help!!" You cried out to him. You were walking together with Azul when a strong wind passed by and something got caught in your eye.

"What happened? Why are you crying?!" He asked worriedly at the sudden change in your mood.

"There's something in my eye. It hurts!!"

Azul immediately stepped closer to you, placing his thumb and index finger around your eye. "I'm going to blow on it, okay? One. Two.."

His fingers opened your eye as he blew on it to get the irritant out. "Is it gone??"

You sniffled but felt that the foreign object was gone. "I think so? It doesn't hurt as much anymore. Thank you."

Blinking and gaining more awareness of your surroundings, you realized Azul's face was very close to yours. You felt yourself blushing from the close proximity while Azul took notice of your reaction and smiled teasingly at you.

"I think there's still something in your eye. Let me try again," he said as he inched even closer to you, taking delight in your cute, flustered expression.

Azul leaning his forehead against yours.

You were just relaxing in bed when you suddenly felt Azul's arms wrapped around you from behind.

"Y/N~" He called out to you.

"Zul?" You turned around to face him. "What's wrong?"

He leaned his face closer to yours until your foreheads were touching. You heard a soft sigh escape his lips as he closed his eyes in a relaxed state.

"Azul?"

"Nothing sweetheart. I just.. wanted to be close to you."

Azul stroking your cheek.

You were sharing a story with Azul, talking quite animatedly with the way your hands moved around and your face being so expressive. Azul was completely enamoured by you and couldn't help raising his hand to caress your face. His bare hand made contact with your skin, gliding his fingers gently across your cheek. The moment he did though, he noticed you stopped. A faint blush dusted your cheeks.

"Hm? Why'd you stop?" He asked curiously.

"You know why," you pouted.

"Does it bother you?"

"..no."

"Then keep going, my sweetheart. As you were saying?"

His fingers continued to stroke your cheek affectionately as you resumed your tale. He noticed the brighter shade of pink adorning your cheeks caused by his touch and Azul felt pleased with himself at how you looked so adorable like that all because of him.

Azul whispering into your ear.

"Can I tell you something?" Azul asked.

You darted your eyes to his and saw there was some mischief hidden in those ocean blue irises.

"Hmm.. you're planning something."

"Oh, it's nothing bad I can assure you. I simply wish to tell you something. Won't you indulge me in my request?"

There was something about the way he talked and the way his lips curved into a smile. A devious smile. Still you took the bait, curious on what he was going to say.

"Alright! So what is it?"

He leaned forward to have his mouth close to your ear before whispering, "I love you," and planting a kiss to the outer shell of your ear.

Your entire face felt hot as you blushed deeply. Your hands immediately went to your face and though your eyes were covered, you knew for sure that Azul had that handsome smirk on his face.

Masterlist here!

If you enjoyed this: likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!

[cupidbedsy]

congrats on 1k my love, you deserve it & so much more 🫧🤍

can i please request the most sunniest sunflower 🌻 with the prompt “frantically making out to try getting sleepy” with our beloved bedsy? feel free to expand on this however your heart desires :)

✿ CUPID'S FLORAL SHOP ✿

here's a freshly picked sunny sunflower 🌻 !

warnings: not being able to fall asleep

word count: 0.9k

florist cupid: thank you so much livvy! i love you 🙁 also thank you for requesting bedsy boy bc i am such in a bedsy mood rn

you've been tossing and turning in the bed for the past 15 minutes and you have still yet to fall asleep. connor's game had ended about an hour ago and during it you had almost succumbed to sleep every time they stopped the play, but now sleep doesn't even bother to make an appearance in your mind.

you had texted him sometime during the third period, telling him how tired you were and that you might be asleep when he got home, and after the game when you were on the edge of sleep, you texted him congratulations and how proud you were of him.

then, you ended up asleep... for all of 30 seconds, and now here you were wide awake and staringly frustratingly up at the ceiling. which you suppose, the only bright side of having to be awake is that now you can see connor has soon as he gets home.

you can hear the faint creak of the door and the soft thudding of shoes being kicked off. moments later, connor's walking through your bedroom door, hair messy and eyes tired.

his gaze lands on you instantly, unable to keep the smile from growing on his face, "hey baby.."

you return the smile, pulling the comforter up to your neck and turning so you're laying on your side, "hi."

"thought you'd be asleep already," he walks over, leaning down to kiss your forehead and run a hand through your hair.

"tried, slept for 30 seconds and then i couldn't go back to sleep."

he frowned at your words, continuing to play with your hair, "'m sorry, babe. let me change and i'll lay with you, yeah?"

you nod, watching as he stepped back, heading towards the closet to grab his clothes. you closed your eyes as you waited for him, attempting to fall asleep once again.

he came back a few minutes later, clad in a pair of sweatpants and a random shirt. he slid beneath the sheets, arm immediately finding home around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

"how was your day?"

you rambled softly about your day, the highs and lows and everything in between, and he sat there listening like he always did, playing with the ends of your hair.

when you were done, you could feel yourself growing more tired but not enough to fall asleep yet, so you let connor launch into a rant about the game, eyes lighting up as he spoke about the goal he scored.

and still, by the end of his game recap, the two of you were still awake, staring at each other with more than tired expressions. connor's hand trailed to your hip, fingers brushing across the sliver of skin that was exposed.

the unexpected touch sent a small shiver through you, but you welcomed it nonetheless, fluttering your eyes closed as you focused on it.

his touch did nothing to lull you asleep, in all honestly it made you even more awake and aware. as you opened your eyes, he was already looking at you, causing your cheeks to heat, "why're looking at me?"

"what? am i not allowed to look at my girlfriend?"

"not what i said," you mumbled.

he tightened his grip on you, bringing you closer so your foreheads rested against each other's. it was silent for a while, both of you just taking in the other's small details, until connor's low, mumbled voice made it's way to your ears, "y'know, i do have a solution for our problem here."

you raised an eyebrow, amused by the slight cheekiness in his voice, "and what's that, connie?"

he didn't reply, just cupped the back of your head, kissing you softly with the slightest bit of heat behind it. you instantly melt into the kiss, moving to tangle your hands into his hair.

you can't help the giggle that escapes you when he groans as you tug at his hair, pulling away to look at him. you can see a growing pout on his face, poking his cheek to try and get a smile out of him, "what's the pout for?"

"you pulled away." his frown was prominent now, his eyes almost glaring at you.

"oh poor baby, c'mere." he grins as you pull him back in for another, kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist.

it doesn't take long for things to escalate after that, connor sitting up so his back is pressed against the headboard, lifting you into his lap, and moving to leave kisses across your neck.

and after, ten five minutes, the two of you pull apart, lightly panting as you stared at each other. connor lifts his hand, brushing your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear, "you're gorgeous, y'know that?"

"connie," your whine echoes through the room as you bury your head into his neck, a soft blush covering your cheeks.

he scratches your back, dragging his fingernails up and down your spine, "what? just complimenting my girl."

seconds pass and you could finally feel your eyelids start to get heavier and heavier, breathing evening out. you mumble out a 'yes' when he asks you if you're getting sleepy, and soon you pass out against him, grip going lax.

he shifts so the two of you are lying side-by-side, pulling you impossibly close before he drifts off to sleep as well.

back to the shop ! ; navigation !