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florrickandassociates · 3 years ago

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TGF Thoughts-- 5x07: And the fight had a detente...

This episode is a wild ride, so if you haven’t seen it yet and you aren’t spoiled, don’t read this. Just go watch it.

Ave Maria plays over a photo montage of cancelled men, including Kevin Spacey, Louie CK, and Scott Rudin. (Scott Rudin, if you don’t know the name, is a Broadway/Hollywood producer who treated his assistants like absolute shit. He’s the inspiration for the possessed producer episode of Evil—I think it’s the third episode of the series—and Robert King does not like him one bit.)

And then the episode opens with Wackner, Del, and Cord discussing the Armie Hammer cannibalism ordeal. Whew, this is not what I wanted to be thinking about first thing on a Thursday morning. I do not think I can put into words how boring I find debating whether or not someone should have been “cancelled.” Cancellation is usually about rich people facing consequences for shitty actions, and those consequences have never involved anyone’s rights being infringed upon, so why should I care about someone being cancelled? And, while I know that society/people on Twitter don’t always understand nuance, I’d like to think that when it comes to the most notable examples of cancellation... no one is losing their livelihood over false or minor allegations.

There are so, so, so many issues in the world. Cancellation affects a handful of high profile, usually white, straight, male, celebrities. Why should I give a shit about, like, Louie CK not being able to make as much money as he used to? I just do not and cannot find it interesting.

I’m not surprised David Cord and Del Cooper find this topic interesting—Del likely hates worrying that all of his comedians could get cancelled and put him in a financially tricky spot; Cord probably says things like “Woke Mob” unironically. And as for Wackner, he almost certainly has a skewed understanding of what actually happens when someone’s cancelled and sees a place where he can step in and add some order. Blah. It’s just so boring.

"People are getting canceled without a trial, no evidence presented against them,” Wackner says. This is not it, Wackner! This is such a strawman argument. We don’t need the legal system to adjudicate people being assholes to each other, and in cases where a crime is committed or a particular individual can sue for damages, that is what happens. If you act shitty and then your sponsors realize you’re toxic and drop you, like, it is what it is. You can feel free to respond via a Notes App screenshot where half of your apology is actually just whining about cancel culture and then you say “I’m sorry if anyone took offense at what I did” instead of saying “I’m sorry I said/did hurtful things” and when people don’t take that seriously, maybe it’s because you didn’t take it seriously, either.

“There are a lot of reasons these accusations never go to trial. The victims finally get to accuse the victimizer face to face,” Wackner explains. Were the victims asking for this?

Marissa shares my question, noting that if the victims don’t want to speak up, then the victimizer would have the court to himself. This raises a new question: who is even bringing these cases? Are Wackner, Cord, and Del just deciding they want to do things as cases and then getting everyone else on board? This sounds bad!

Apparently, according to Wackner, “if #MeToo relies on mob rule, it’ll exhaust itself.” What... evidence is there for this? I get why people panic about the POSSIBILITY of this happening, even though I don’t share their panic, but is there any actual evidence that #MeToo is losing steam because of false allegations because cancellation isn’t a formal process? I don’t believe there is.

The test case we have the pleasure of seeing this week is about “Louie CK two,” whom I shall refer to as LCK2 instead of learning his name.

Now, suddenly, Marissa is asking one of LCK2’s victims to testify. She doesn’t want to participate because it’s just another way for LCK2 to get his career back. Marissa decides to be idealistic and say this is a real opportunity to confront LCK2 with his crime. I suppose she isn’t wrong, and that is what happens next, but, again, meh.

Apparently David Cord is going to defend LCK2. You know what would get cancelled in five seconds? A David Cord funded show that has David Cord actually on it, railing against cancel culture! Can you IMAGINE the thinkpieces?

God, when is this episode going to move on from this extremely irritating premise?

Marissa decides she wants to be the prosecutor. Wackner says if she prosecutes LCK2, she has to prosecute the academic who used a word that sounds like the n-word and lost her job for it. Marissa thinks the academic shouldn’t have been fired, but Wackner insists she has to take both cases.

“Let’s go into court,” Wackner says, and, thank goodness, we do go into court: REAL court, where we are talking about REAL issues.

In court, Liz and Diane are suing the police over the death of a black girl who was tased by the police. Her friend is on the stand and it’s quite emotional. Also, Diane tries to pass Liz a note and Liz ignores it. Why would you have two name partners on this case if they aren’t even going to try to work together?

You can tell things are tense between two TGF characters when they talk at the same time in court but are on the same side.

Hiiiiii Abernathy! ILY!

The victim had a heart condition, which the police lawyer argues is the actual cause of death. Police lawyer also argues that since this witness posted some ACAB lyrics on Instagram, she must be biased. Eyeroll.

Liz calls the other lawyer racist; the other lawyer tries to make Liz look like she is only on her client’s side because she’s black and that Liz is being absurd.

Cancel culture court happens. We’re dealing with the academic case first. I don’t feel like talking about the cancel culture shit too much, so here is my take on this case as a whole: (1) I don’t think the actual word in question, which isn’t actually the n-word, is enough on its own to get someone fired (2) I also don’t think anyone can use that word, regardless of its meaning or history, without understanding how it will come across. (3) The teacher did not get fired for simply using this word once (4) This teacher believes that anyone who is from a group that’s been marginalized in history should have to confront that marginalization with as little sympathy and respect as possible because it will help them be more resilient. So basically, if you are from the dominant group then you don’t get challenged. She believes it is her job to do this. She is an egotistical asshole who has no business teaching.

Cord wants everyone to have to say the full word in question. He says this pretentiously (though I don’t think saying “Said word” is that pretentious, tbh) and Wackner rules against him and also makes him wear a powdered wig for using “obtuse language.”

Marissa is not trying at all with this case at first, since she doesn’t believe in it. That’s shitty, Marissa. If you want to be a lawyer at a firm like RL you’re going to have to fight for all of your clients.

Marissa makes a Latin joke and ends up in a powdered wig, too.

The prof says, in one sentence, that she didn’t know what she was doing using the word and also that the black student who took offense thinks college is supposed to be warm, cuddly, and unchallenging. So it was a challenge, then, prof?

I like this student. And I love that she calls Marissa out for obviously not trying.

“The optics matter. Racially,” Diane says to Liz, who agrees. Diane, strategically, makes it about gender first (the cop is male, some jurors may react to a woman questioning a man), then makes it about how she should be the one questioning the cop since Liz is black. It would make the jury more “comfortable” (hey, there’s that word again!) Diane says. She says she is being pragmatic.

Diane says that she could be “more dispassionate”. Be or come across as, Diane? Either way, Liz, who knows full well what the optics look like given that this isn’t her first time in court, doesn’t agree with Diane that they need to come across as dispassionate.

Then Diane just changes the subject to the firm drama. “Liz, you’re shoving me out of my name partner position because of my race.” Like that’s the issue!

“I am doing nothing. You are the one who got our racist clients to whine to STR Laurie about us,” Liz counters. “Those clients bring in a great deal of money, and they are not racists,” Diane insists. Yes. Sure. Diane just happened to choose white male clients who were “comfortable” with her to talk to. I have no doubt they’d have reacted poorly to any change in representation, but Diane was counting on those particular clients having some discomfort with their new lawyers.

Liz calls her out and Diane’s still trying to play it like she just had to inform her long-term clients and it just had to be done this way. But, when Liz asks if Diane thinks the clients would’ve had the same reaction if their new representation were to be white, Diane says that maybe her clients are worried about racial grudges. So, what you’re saying is you knew exactly what you were doing, huh, Diane?

I get why Diane doesn’t like being pushed out, because who would, but Diane, this isn’t about you. And if you didn’t want to make it about race, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared on a panel about how great it is that your firm is majority black? You can’t have it both ways.

Liz notes that Diane felt “entitled” to her name partnership. This is accurate, though based on revenue and stature I don’t think it can be denied that Diane deserves name partner status (generally speaking). Diane went over to RBK, was like, “sure, I’ll be a junior partner, thank you so much for the opportunity, I can’t even pay my capital contribution right now but what if I were name partner in three months?” and that is both entitlement and knowing one’s own worth, but mostly entitlement.

(Liz does not act entitled, but if we want to get into who deserves their partnership more—again generally speaking, not their partnership at a black firm specifically—it is definitely Diane! Liz literally only has this job because her dad was important.)

“I think that Barbara Kolstad was shoved out because you felt entitled to her position,” Liz shouts. OMG, a mention of Barbara?!?!?!??!?!? THANK YOU, WRITERS!!!

(This is a slight bit of revisionist history but I’ll allow it, and I think it’s right in thought even if it’s not right on the details. Barbara wasn’t shoved out—Barbara chose to go to a different firm that offered her a better deal—but I don’t think Barbara would’ve been on that trajectory had it not been for Diane’s presence at the firm. Barbara was in charge of a firm that shared her values when, suddenly, her partner decided that they needed to pursue profit over all else and needed Diane to execute that strategy. Maybe no one made a move directly against her, but Adrian and Diane changed the mission of RBK until it was no longer somewhere Barbara wanted to work.

“We can’t work together if you don’t respect me,” Diane screams at Liz. “No, we can’t work together if you use race cynically,” Liz responds. Diane gets even angrier, swears a bunch, and then says “You want to come after me, you come after me with an honest argument about my lack of competence, my lack of worth.” Diane, you are fighting a completely different battle here! You can be entitled and also correct and also good at your job. This is what you used to accuse Alicia of all the time. The fact you’ve turned this into something about your skill level when it’s about the meaning of having a black firm is only proving Liz’s point.

“Your unworthiness—which you don’t seem to want to acknowledge—is that you can’t be the top dog in a black firm,” Liz says. Exactly. But Diane just storms off.

Now the cop is on the stand. He did not know the victim had a heart condition. Uh, obviously, why would he have known that?

Liz is aggressive in court; Diane thinks this is the wrong strategy. Without knowing who is on the jury, I have no idea which one of them is correct.

The next move is to get the cop’s ex-wife, who he abused, on the stand.

Goodie, it’s cancel culture court. Things go well for Marissa, but Del wants to know why Marissa wasn’t that passionate about the n-word case. Marissa says she feels like it’s not the n-word, like that is a valid reason to not represent your client to the best of your ability. “It is. It always is,” says Del.

Marissa heads back to RL, and as she walks, the camera follows her and moves through the space until we end up in Liz’s office, where she gets a news alert about the cop from the COTW. He’s been killed, seemingly in retaliation for his actions. The news is quick to suggest the trial might’ve encouraged the killing. “Oh, fuck.” Diane says as she watches the news. Aaaand credits (at 20 minutes in!)

From the promos, I thought this was going to be a Very Serious Episode about police brutality. From the opening, I thought it was going to be an insufferable episode about cancel culture. I was wrong! (Though, I suppose, some of the cancel culture stuff is still insufferable.)

Yay for Carrie Preston, who directed this episode. I read an interview with her and she talked about how there’s a “look book” for directing TGF episodes and I have never wanted to see anything as badly as I want to see this look book. (Am I exaggerating? Probably. But I might not be.)

After credits, Marissa finds Carmen and Jay to ask them if “n-word-ly" is offensive. She acknowledges she’s being annoying but they let her continue anyway. Jay finds it offensive. Carmen does not. This seems fitting with their characters, and I love that this scene acknowledges that not every black person is going to have the exact same reaction to everything.

I want Carmen to have more to do! While I’m glad the show isn’t forcing her to have a large role in every plot just because, I feel like she’s gone missing for the middle part of the season. My guess is that their priority with Carmen is setting her up to be an ongoing part of the cast who grows into being someone we want a lot from rather than forcing her plots from the start... but surely we could get a little more of her! I doubt she’s a one-season character like I assume Wackner will be.

The cop’s murder changes the vibe in court. Abernathy calls a moment of silence in his memory. “We’re fucked,” Liz whispers to Diane.

And indeed they are. The cop’s ex no longer wants to talk about how abusive he was—she wants to talk about how great he was. Whose idea was it to still put her on the stand?! Idk about legal procedures but this seems like a really avoidable mistake!

Diane argues that the cop’s death has prejudiced the jury. Abernathy decides to call a “voir dire de novo,” using an obtuse Latin phrase that would not be permitted in Wackner’s court. (Love the little parallels in this episode, like this, the transition between courts earlier, and how much of Marissa being called out on her whiteness feels like a thematic extension of everything going on with Diane.)

Cancel culture court continues. Carmen shows up.

I don’t really get how June, the victim of LCK2, potentially losing a headlining gig for a bad set instead of retaliation from LCK2, scores him a point. One, if she was a rising store, one bad set shouldn’t have damned her career. Two, isn’t it enough to prove that he masturbated in front of women who didn’t want him to do that???????

Having June perform her act with no prep in Wackner’s court so they can judge whether or not she is funny is a wildly bad idea. So now Wackner is an arbiter of humor as well as cancel culture?

This whole system is silly and I reject the whole premise but June should not lose two points for the logic that Wackner + the audience don’t find June funny --> June must’ve had her career derailed because she just isn’t funny (how’d she book the headliner gig, then?) --> LCK2 scores points??? He still masturbated in front of her without her consent!

Using cancel culture to show Wackner’s court is going too far/slipping into bad territory: I’m on board with this. Using Wackner’s court to actually comment on cancel culture: Ugh. The writers seem to be trying to do both.

Lol at Abernathy having Stacey Abrams’ book on his desk.

Marissa argues the n-word case more passionately, because these writers love to make situations that seemed clear cut seem more uncertain. It’s no coincidence they have the sexual harassment case look murkier (though, again, June being bad at comedy does not negate the sexual harassment!) right before they have the n-work case begin to tilt in favor of the professor’s cancellation.

Hahah what bullshit about trying to prepare the students for a world that won’t be kind to them. Do you seriously think your black students need YOU to prepare them?

This lady thinks history classes have to describe rapes in detail to get students to sympathize. No, no they fucking do not.

She also says she’d use the n-word if she were teaching a topic where it might come up. Um, no?

Mr. Elk (this is what I call Ted Willoughby, Idiot Reporter, after he said “things of that elk” in his first appearance) is attacking Diane and Liz on his show. Diane and Liz are, apparently, “Marxist slip-and-fall lawyers” and Mr. Elk plays a clip of Diane saying cops need to be held accountable. Obviously, this was before the cop’s death and meant to be about the legal system, but it looks like Diane’s calling for his murder. I also love how they go out of their way to only pause the clip on unflattering frames of Diane.

Liz wants to use this in court—I forgot that Liz is super sneaky but this tracks; she is always quick to use things to her advantage and we’ve known that about her since her strategy with the DNC in 2x07 (to make outlandish allegations and then drop them before presenting proof). Julius wants to get Liz and Diane security.

That security is, apparently Jay. I think they’ve shown Jay as security before when Lucca went viral. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.

I was, briefly, worried for Liz and Diane’s safety, especially after I saw all the angry cops waiting for them in court. Then I thought, oh, well at least they’re in court, they should be safe from being shot there. Then I remembered 5x15. Then I laughed at myself.

Liz’s new strategy works and Abernathy uses more Latin. But, they can’t get any more jurors thrown. (They’re going for a mistrial.)

Oh, Carmen is back again! She did SO MUCH in that court scene where she appeared and then disappeared! She’s chatting with Marissa and spots LCK2 in the RL offices.

Apparently, LCK2 negotiated a contract with Del, with David Lee’s help. (Why would David Lee be doing entertainment law?) Suddenly everything makes sense to Marissa.

She calls Del to the stand. This—and, honestly, everything after this—makes me wonder how much of this would ever make it to air. Why would Del televise this?

What a shock—Del wants LCK2 back on his streaming service (which I don’t think has a name LOL).

Somehow Marissa’s questions become about Wackner and whether or not Wackner is an impartial judge, which doesn’t seem like the core issue. Wackner has made it pretty clear that his stance is that he doesn’t care if others are corrupt around him or try to use him; he’s going to be impartial no matter what. Why not play that up instead of making the entire show look staged and Wackner look complicit, Marissa?

Like, why is Marissa asking Wackner if he’s prejudged the case?! Why isn’t she just trying to like, get him to declare a mistrial because there is a conflict of interest? She can make a version of this argument without accusing Wackner of PREJUDGING, which she knows—I know, so she knows—will set him off. Wackner truly believe he thinks he is impartial. It’s not smart strategy to question that (even if we all know that Wackner is not impartial!)

Wackner blows up at Marissa and shouts at her. He tells her to get the fuck out of court.

This is certainly dramatic, but again, would Del ever choose to air this? I doubt it.

On her way to work, Diane notices hot pink spray paint in the elevator. When she exits the elevator, the whole firm is gathered in the lobby. Someone has painted COP KILLERS across the elevator bank. “Security doesn’t know how they got in,” Jay says. “Of course they don’t,” Diane responds. “They suggest we call the cops,” Jay says. I love this little exchange. I wasn’t exactly wondering how someone got in, but I like the show making it clear how unprotected Diane and Liz are right now and why.

Julius appears and says that Mr. Elk is saying something new. Diane and Liz sit down to watch and the tone of this episode completely shifts.

I had forgotten completely that Liz’s dad’s assault issues are out in public until Mr. Elk called him “a disgraced civil rights leader.” It doesn’t feel like they’re out in public! Also I would believe Mr. Elk calling him disgraced for no reason at all.

Y’all, when Mr. Elk said the name “Duke Roscoe,” my jaw dropped. WHAT A CALLBACK.

This scene, and really, everything in this plot from here on out, is a delight. It just keeps going and going. It is the best kind of fanservice.

1x11 has been, for no real reason, on my mind since 5x04. It popped out to me as an example of this show’s humor so I talked about it in that recap. I nearly mentioned it in my 5x06 recap when Diane laughed at Julius’s suggestion that they start a firm together. I rewatched 1x11, by complete chance, like two weeks ago. How weird that I'm somehow on the show’s wavelength about this!

Also I made a joke about Mr. Elk last week without knowing he’d be back this episode. I would like to think I conjured this.

(1x11 is a really pivotal episode for TGW, even if it isn’t one of the most notable episodes overall. It's composer David Buckley’s first episode and that ending, with Diane laughing, is one of the earliest moments of TGW showing its sense of humor and playing to its strengths.)

Mr. Elk notes that they “rarely see” Kurt, which is apparently evidence that Diane is a lesbian. Hahahahahahah. Mr. Elk also wouldn’t want to note Kurt, despite his recent controversy, because to his viewers, Kurt’s beliefs would make Diane seem more sympathetic.

GUYS, THE WRITERS DECIDED TO MAKE A CALLBACK TO AN ICONIC MOMENT FROM AN EPISODE THAT AIRED OVER A DECADE AGO AND THEN BUILD ON IT. I cannot express how fucking happy this makes me.

Now, Mr. Elk says, Diane and Liz are an item!

What’s better than Diane laughing hysterically at the original allegations? Diane doing it again, eleven years later, JOINED BY LIZ.

This also works super well to cut the tension between Diane and Liz. I assume this isn’t the end of the name partnership drama, but I think it might be the end of Diane and Liz being pissed at each other. Since the name partnership drama was never really about Diane and Liz (Liz seems to want Diane to stay on...), I’m fine with that.

Because this is an episode full of callbacks that delight me, Del asks Liz when he gets to meet her son! HER SON STILL EXISTS!

It sounds like Liz and Del still aren’t fully official, which clarifies why they don’t seem to be a couple in public.

Del brings up the Diane rumor (jokingly) and Liz jokes along. I love that we get to see this playful side of Liz.

Wackner’s watching his outburst with regret. Del calms him down and notes that this is good TV (why... would Del air this... it makes DEL look worse than anyone!). Wackner calls Marissa to apologize; she picks up and accepts his apology.

Abernathy calls Liz and Diane into chambers. He’s worried he was “insensitive”-- he's noticed the tension between Liz and Diane, but now he thinks it was a lover’s spat.

Diane puts on a poker face and leans in towards Liz. She starts nodding attentively and thanks Abernathy. Liz smiles and doubles down: she’s not just going to play along, she’s going to milk it. She gets a juror kicked for homophobia, which means a mistrial. Shameless. I love it.

Diane and Liz playing off each other as Abernathy tries to look like as much of an ally as possible is comedy gold.

Diane even calls Liz darling. Omg.

LCK2 is on the stand, being charismatic and annoying. Of course he is. This is what happens when you give someone who is known for being able to connect with a crowd... a crowd and the benefit of the doubt.

LCK2 is talking about “stupid women” in his new set. Why... is Del giving that a platform at all? See, the fact that Del thinks it is not only interesting but also somehow essential to let LCK2 make jokes about sexual harassment is why I can’t take this episode seriously. Why should I be more outraged about someone who did something shitty not getting a trial for his shitty but legal behavior than I am about powerful people continuing to offer shitty people platforms? Only one of these seems outrageous to me.

Wackner decides that the professor did something “awful but lawful” and that’s it. So you’re saying that if it isn’t illegal, it doesn’t get decided in your court, either? What was the point of this, then?

The professor says she doesn’t want that—she wants the school to know she’s being punished so she can get her job back. The student storms out, rightfully. Wackner’s job isn’t to offer someone who wants punishment some form of penance, like she can exchange community service hours for offensive remarks. It’s to... well, idk what it is to do, since this whole thing doesn’t really make sense and he makes the rules, but I don’t think his verdict has to be about giving anyone what they want. I’m disappointed that Wackner comes up with a punishment and I don’t think it’s going to get her her job back.

LCK2 loses, too, because he hasn’t made amends. Wackner doesn’t want to fine him because he’s too rich for a fine to matter. Cord argues that LCK2 deserves a second chance. I mean, sure, but is he being denied a second chance? He doesn’t deserve an easy path back to his fame just because he wants it.

Wackner mentions prison. At first I was like, oh, that’s a nice throwaway line that he mentioned prison! This ties into what I was saying a few weeks ago about how Wackner likes the institutions that already exist—he just thinks they’re imperfect! It’s fitting that he’s not a prison abolitionist!

And then the episode actually went there: Wackner, thanks to David Cord’s private prison company, actually sentences LCK2 to prison. This is deeply uncomfortable (and of questionable legality). Wackner’s system is just going to recreate prison? Worse, private prison? He’s creating an unchecked, privatized legal system?! This sounds bad! Kudos to the show for taking this to some place so dark—I knew Wackner’s system would start to show cracks, but I didn’t realize they’d go this far.

And I’m not sure what the end game is with this! All I know is I’m not on board with Wackner sending people to prison (except as a plot—I am very on board with this plot) and neither is Marissa.

I do not think viewers of the reality show will like the prison twist or the fact that Cord is financing a court and prison! Can you imagine the scandal!

And what do the contracts look like that allow Wackner to sentence someone to prison? Can LCK2 leave any time he wants? If so, then how does the prison sentence help? If not, is that legal?

Del wants it to be a 2 week sentence, not 3, because this means LCK2 will have to miss his taping in two weeks. I have many questions. (1) Is Wackner’s show airing live? If not, then why do they need to rush the taping of the special? They could push it quite easily. (2) Why can’t they push the taping? This guy is a huge deal and enough potential $$ that Del wants to rehabilitate his career... so why does the taping have to be on this particular day and time?

Is there really an Exxon Mobile case, I wonder?

I like that we spend a good amount of time watching Marissa’s reactions to this latest addition to Wackner’s court. Combined with the score, Marissa’s facial expression serves to underline that private prisons are not good here! This isn’t Wackner getting legitimate methods of enforcement... this is just opening a pandora’s box of highly questionable extrajudicial practices.

I do love that this episode ends up here: it starts out like it’s going to be about cancel culture silliness and ends up being about the escalation of Wackner’s tactics.

Funny how both of the cancelled people end up being found guilty by Wackner, huh! Almost like they actually did something wrong and faced the consequences!

Liz and Diane get called in to talk to Liz’s favorite department: HR. They’re asked to sign “love contracts” to confirm things are consensual. I find it hilarious that HR gives them the paper before even asking if it’s true.

Liz grabs a pen and signs. Diane follows her lead. They look at each other and smile politely at HR.

I am... not sure how to read this last scene! Is it a fuck-you to HR? A way of easing tensions? A way for Liz to get people to stop talking to her about removing Diane as name partner because no one will want to ask if they’re really involved? Something else? Help me understand!

Curious to see where things go next. I can see LCK2 coming back for another episode but it also wouldn’t surprise me to never see him again. Similarly, I could see some glances/discussion of Diane and Liz’s romantic relationship next week, or I could see it never being mentioned again, or I could see it being mentioned next season out of the blue.

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

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aquaticrunner · 4 years ago

Text

Edmund Pevensie Imagine

Edmund Pevensie x Female Reader

Quick Summary: The story is set in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Y/N has been chosen to be a part of the crew, however she doesn’t feel like people respect her (other than Caspian). Then, she meets Edmund and Lucy and things start to change.

Word count: 3887

When I had been chosen to be part of the crew on the Dawn Treader, I had been ecstatic. But now, I could not be more bored. It was extremely difficult being the only girl, especially when all the “harder” jobs had been given to the men. The only good part was being one of the few people Caspain truly trusted. He let me speak in all the meetings, and trusted me with the more secret information. However, he was the king which meant he didn’t have time to notice how the rest of the crew treated me when he wasn’t around. It wasn’t just the fact that I was a girl. It was that I was younger, and had climbed the ranks faster than most. It made a lot of people mad. A few had even questioned my skills, claiming that the only reason I was on this trip was because Caspian fancied me. That could not be further than the truth. I earned this spot and I knew that. Now, I just needed to show everyone else.

Sounds of shouting suddenly interrupted my train of thought, and I rushed out of my small cabin and up the stairs to see what the commotion was. Everyone seemed to be crowded around one edge of the ship. I heard grunts and sighs as I shoved my way to the front of the group, gasping when I saw Caspian in the water with 3 other people and couple of the crew. Caspian grabbed onto the platform lowered to him, his arm around a girl who looked similar to my age. I rushed to meet them, grabbing a couple blankets from a small bin on my way. I handed them to Caspian and he smiled at me and handed one to the girl. The girl took the blanket and held her hand out to me, “Hello! I’m Lucy.”

I smiled and shook her hand. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” Lucy and Caspian stepped off the platform together and I took a couple steps back to allow them some room. “That was thrilling!” I heard Lucy say.

Caspian was asking her how she ended up in the water when someone shouted his name. We all turned to see who it was and I lost my breath as he came into view. He was striking. Even soaking wet, I could tell that he was the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. His dark hair and gorgeous eyes made me feel weak in the knees and I took a shaky step back to lean on the railing. Caspian walked over to greet him, wrapping another blanket around his shoulders. I shook my head, urging myself to get rid of these thoughts. Nobody else around here respected me. Why would this boy be any different? Still I couldn’t stop my eyes from following him as he walked past me, overhearing bits of their conversation.

“Didn’t you call for us?” Lucy asked, her voice laced with confusion and excitement. I could almost hear the smile in her voice.

Caspian shook his head, and the boy shrugged in return saying he was just glad to back. Back? I thought, He had been here before?

Again my thoughts (and my eavesdropping) were interrupted by the last member of their group being brought aboard the shipping and screaming like he was being murdered and we were doing nothing to stop it. I stood up straight so that I could see better and watched him flop across the deck, screaming the whole time. The crew laughed as he continued to scream and Reepicheep tried to calm him down.

“Perhaps we could throw him back?” Reepicheep suggested. I smiled at the joke and watched Lucy shove the boy she was with as he seemed to consider it. “Edumund!” She shouted. Ah, so that was his name. It was almost as he pretty as he was. Did I really just think that? Wait, why do those names sound familiar?

“Men!” Caspian shouted, and we all made our way to be in front of Caspian as he stepped up onto a small raised platform. “Behold our castaways! Edmund the Just and Lucy the Valiant, High King and Queen of Narnia.” My eyes widened a fraction and I remembered exactly who they were. These were 2 of the kings and queens of old. Everyone began to kneel and I quickly followed suit. I raised my eyes just a fraction, and saw the pair smiling at each other. They seemed genuinely happy to be back in Narnia. “Alright everyone, it’s time for a meeting! Captain Drinian and Y/N, please join me. Everyone else, back to work.”

I quickly stood and followed Caspian and the others to the Captain’s quarters. My heart swelled, happy to be reminded that Caspian truly did trust me and want me here. However, I knew it would only last a short time during the meeting and then I would return back to my quarters to read or sew. I was a horrible sewer, however, the rest of the crew refused to acknowledge this fact simply because they didn’t want to give me any other job. My heart longed to chart maps or help sail. I wondered if things would change now that Lucy- Queen Lucy- was on board.

I walked into the meeting and stood behind the Captain in the small room to make room for Lucy and Edmund. Caspian laid out a map, explaining what he had accomplished these past three years and what our current mission was- to find the Seven Lost Lords who fled to the Lone Islands and vanished.

“What’s East of the Lone Islands?” Lucy asked. I smiled, knowing what the Captain was about to say.

“Uncharted waters,” He explained. “Things you could barely imagine. Tales of sea serpents and worse.”

Edmund and Caspian both laughed, and Caspian said that was all he had to share with us for right now. We left the room quickly, the Captain returning to work and Lucy saying she wanted to go check out their room. I bumped into Edmund on my way out, and muttered a quick apology before rushing to my small room in the corner of the ship. I blushed at the thought of Edmund’s hand accidentally brushing my side. I let this thought linger for only a moment before I remembered it was completely inappropriate. I grabbed the small basket full of clothes from outside my door that the crew had left there and grabbed my sewing kit. I sighed, someday I’m going to do more than sew, so much more.

The next day began with even more excitement. It seemed that Lucy and Edmund’s arrival had livened up the crew and after weeks of being at sea, everyone was starting to get excited again. I laughed as Caspian and Edmund clashed swords in a friendly fight. They were fairly evenly matched and the fight ended in a tie, with each of their swords against the others chest. Everyone cheered as the match came to an end and the Captain shouted at everyone to get back to work. I sighed, and took a large breath of fresh air before I had to return to my stuffy room. I turned to go, but someone caught at my arm and I quickly looked to see who it was. “Hold on Y/N,” said Caspian who motioned for me to follow him before letting go of my own. I allowed myself a small sigh of relief and followed him over to where Lucy, Edmund, and their odd cousin were talking.

Well, Lucy and Edmund were talking. Eustace was shouting again about how we had kidnapped him and held him against his will. “Kidnapping is it? Funny, I thought we saved your life.” Caspian smirked and Eustace bumped into him, still on a rant. “You held me against my will!” I rolled my eyes as I drowned him out, my attention switching to Edmund who was even more stunning than he was yesterday. I’m not sure how it was possible, but with the button up and fancy attire being switched out for some looser clothes, he was transformed.

I was stirred out of my thoughts by someone shouting. “Land Ho!” I cleared my throat and followed Caspian as he rushed up to the top deck to get a closer look at the horizon. We had finally come across the Lone Islands and it was hard not be excited about that. “Strange,” Caspian remarked. “Not a Narnian flag in sight.” “But the Lone Islands have always been Narnia’s.” Replied Edmund, taking a turn to look through the telescope. I waited for him to pass it to me, but he handed it back to the Captain instead who closed it and returned it to its place. Ah, so he’s just like the others. And here I thought he might be different because of his sister. “That’s suspicious. We should be careful.” I added. Caspian nodded, and I smiled. At least I had one person on my side.

Edmund finally spared me a glance, though it barely lasted for even a second. “I say we prepare a landing party. Drinian?”

Drinian looked at Caspian before awkwardly turning back to Edmund. “Forgive me Your Majesty, but the chain of command starts with King Caspian on this ship.”

I smirked as Edmund just nodded. He looked shocked, and I couldn’t say I wasn’t a little glad. Now he too knew how it felt to be brushed off. “We’ll use longboats.” Instructed Caspian, “Drinian, pick some men to come ashore. Y/N, you’ll come too.” My heart fluttered. “Really?” I asked in astonishment. I was finally going to get a chance to prove myself. Caspian looked confused at my reaction. “Of course. How could I leave one of my best fighters behind?”

A few minutes later I was in a longboat, rowing towards the island. A couple men spared me odd glances, as if wondering why on Earth a girl who’s only job on this ship was to sew their clothes was there. But, Lucy smiled at me and I ignored them, happy to finally have someone else on my side. We reached the edge of the island and stepped out of the boat. Well, most of us anyway. Eustace was having some trouble and Reepicheep thought the best way to help was by shouting at him. Lucy rolled her eyes and shouted, catching everyone’s attention, “Listen! Where is everyone?”

We all stopped to do as she said and realized what she was saying. There was absolutely no one in sight. No one in the streets or making noise anywhere. This was starting to get even weirder. We walked through the streets, as the town remained silent save for a few birds squawking in the distance. Suddenly, a loud bell rang from the church a little ways down the street. Caspian instructed Reepicheep to stay with Drinian’s men while Eustace, Lucy, Edmund, Caspian, and I continued on, instructing him to send a party if we weren’t back by dawn.

We headed towards the church, Eustace lagging behind. I rolled my eyes as he ran toward us telling us we should just turn back. Edmund looked at him, unsure of what to do with him. “Do you want to come here and... guard something?” He asked. I stifled a laugh as he said yes, saying something about what a logical idea that was. Caspian reluctantly handed him one of his daggers and the four of us went inside the old church, leaving Eustace behind. It was dark inside the church and it looked like no one had been there in quite some time.

We searched the building until Edmund shouted that he found something. We all went over to him, eager to see what he had found. It appeared to be a book full of names. “Who are all these people?” Lucy asked. “And why have they been crossed out?” Edmund added. We looked to Caspian, who had a grave expression on his face. “Slave traders.”

Suddenly, the church bells began to ring again. Men began to appear from all over, sliding on ropes with weapons in their hand. “Watch out!” I heard Caspian shout. I immediately pulled out my sword, jumping in front of Edmund before a man with a gross, long beard could hit him in the back. I knocked him out quickly and Edmund looked at me in shock. “Thanks.” He said. I rolled my eyes, and kept fighting.

For a while it seemed like we were winning until- “Aaaaaah!” A loud scream rang through the room and we all turned to see what had happened. A man had walked through the door, Caspian’s knife held against Eustace’s throat. “Unless you wanna hear this one scream like a girl again, I’d say you should drop your weapons.” Lucy dropped hers immediately, while I looked to Caspian to follow his lead.

“NOW!” The man screamed again. Reluctantly, the said of us put down our weapons as well. The men around us quickly chained us up, and without weapons fighting back seemed useless. “Get off me!” I heard Lucy scream. I struggled as two men held me down, putting chains around my wrist. The man tossed Eustace to one of the other men, and slowly walked towards Lucy. “This one and the other boy, take to the market.” Next, he made his way towards me. “And what do we have here?” He raked his finger across my face and I cringed at his touch, spitting in his face. He immediately pulled back, anger pulling at his features. “Take her to the dungeon! Those two as well!” He ordered, gesturing at Edmund and Caspian.

“Listen to me!” Shouted Caspian, “I am your king!” They ignored him and quickly we were hauled off, Edmund and Lucy shouting to each other the whole time. Finally, one of the men got sick of it and punched Edmund in the face, knocking him out.

They threw us into two cells, one for Caspian and one for Edmund and me, with nothing but walls and a small bucket of water. Edmund woke up shortly after and nearly scared me to death when he jumped up suddenly. “Where are we?” He demanded. “Calm down.” I said, “We’re in the dungeons. Caspian has been trying to get out, but so far it hasn’t worked. Will you sit down? You’re hurt.” He huffed, but sat down anyway. “Look, your forehead is bleeding.” I said.

“So? I’m not some weakling who can’t take a hit.” I rolled my eyes, “Fine, then you can deal with your wound yourself!” I yelled, refusing to cry. This was the worst situation I’d been in so far and all I had wanted to do was help him. He sighed and I watched him put his head in his hands, immediately pulling it back when he accidentally touched his wound. He licked his lips, then looked at me sheepishly. “Okay... I”m sorry. Can you help me?”

I nodded and slowly walked over to him. I ripped a piece off my sleeve and dipped into the bucket with water. I gently touched it to his head and he stiffened for a minute before relaxing. I cleaned it as best as I could until the bleeding stopped. “There. That should do until we get back to the ship.” I said. He let out a small smile and a thank you. As he looked into my eyes, I found it hard to look away. They were so beautiful and- Bang!

I jumped as Caspian began banging on his window with a rock he had found. Thanks for ruining the moment Caspian. I took a step back from Edmund and his mesmerizing eyes and tried to refocus on the situation. We were trapped and we needed to get out. “It’s hopeless,” We heard a voice say from the shadows of Caspian’s cell. “You’ll never get out.” It said again. “Who’s there?” said Edmund, standing up again.

Caspian walked over to see who it was, “Lord Bern?” I gasped. We had found one of the Seven Lost Lords? In a dungeon? Suddenly, we heard screaming from outside, and I changed my focus as Edmund looked out the window in our cell. “What’s happening?” I asked. “I’m not sure.” He responded.

“Where are they taking them?” Asked Caspian, looking out his own window. “Keep watching.” Replied Lord Bern. The boys watched until whatever was happening seemed to be over. Then, he began to explain what it was. He talking about something called The Mist, how it had appeared and nobody knew what it was. “If they don’t sell you to the slave traders,” he said, “You’re likely to be fed to The Mist.” “We have to find Lucy!” said Edmund, “Before it’s too late.”

I’m not sure how long we were there before someone finally came to get us. They led us out of the dungeon, up the stairs, and out onto a courtyard. My eyes took a minute to adjust to the light before I realized there was a fight going on. It was Drinian and the rest of the men! We realized this was our chance to escape and used the distraction to our advantage. We started fighting back immediately and quickly took down the guards, using their keys to take off our chains. Once the people in the village realized we were winning, they joined us in our fight as well. We walked out of the village victorious and even had another man join us on our journey.

The crew welcomed us back with a large dinner, and a small celebration after. Almost all of the men walked up to Edmund and Caspian, congratulating them and telling them what fine swordsmen they were. I sat at a table by myself in the back of the room, still unrecognized. I reminded myself recognition wasn’t why I was here. It was to help people. However, I couldn’t help feel a bit angry at everyone for not even admitting that I was actually useful. “Hey.” I looked up, hoping to see Edmund, but rolled my eyes when I realized it was only John. “What do you want?” I asked. He was a few years older than I was, about to turn 20 in 6 months. We had lived in the same village when we were little, but I couldn’t stand him. “Just wanted to congratulate you.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Really? You wanted to congratulate me?” It seemed too good to be true. “Oh yeah,” He said, “Congratulations on doing such a bad job on the mission that nobody even noticed you were there.” I felt my anger rising. I quickly stood up and shoved him away from me. He just laughed, making me even angrier. I stormed off, more hurt than ever, and slammed my door shut when I got back to my room.

A couple minutes later I heard a knock at my door. No way. If John came all this way just to tease me some more I- “What?” I shouted when I opened my door. However, I paled when I realized it wasn’t John, but Edmund. He raised his eyebrows and threw his hands up in mock surrender. “I just came to talk.” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead, I just gestured for him to come in, shutting the door behind him. Once I had gathered my courage, I turned to look at him. “I’m really sorry Your Majesty, I thought you were someone else.” He cringed, “Please don’t call me Your Majesty. Edmund is just fine.”

I smiled, “Alright. What did you want to talk to me about?” He rubbed his hand behind his neck, and smiled shyly. Okay, it’s fine. Keep it together Y/N. Just a cute boy, sitting in your room... who also happens to be a king. “Well, I wanted to say thank you for earlier.” He said. I smiled, “You already said thank you.” He hesitated, “Well, I wanted to say thank you again. And to apologize.” I crinkled my face in confusion. “Apologize?” “Yes, well. I don’t think I’ve been very kind to you.” I said nothing and motioned for him to continue. “When I first arrived on the ship, you had nothing to me yet I ignored you. I’ve seen the way people treat you on the ship and instead of choosing to be better, I acted the same. For that, I truly am sorry.” I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest. How long had I known him? Maybe a day or two and already it felt like there was something pulling me to him. There was certainly no question that I was going to forgive him. However, I could probably tease him a little first.

“Well... I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive you yet.” I said. Clearly, he didn’t see that I was teasing because his face immediately fell and he stood to leave. “I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t forgive me either.”

“Edmund, wait.” I grabbed his arm without thinking to stop him from leaving and we were standing so close I could feel his breath. “Um... I just meant that I, uh.” Apparently I forgot how to speak. “Y/N...” He whispered and once again, I felt drawn to him. I felt myself moving closer until- “Y/N?” Edmund and I jumped apart as John poked his head into my room without knocking. I ran into the wall and cursed my small room. “Look I actually wanted to say-” He paused as he noticed Edmund. “What are you doing?” John asked. “Nothing! I mean- get out! Why would I want to talk to you?” I yelled. “No, it’s alright.” Said Edmund, “I should go anyway. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he was gone. I cursed John ever being born.

“What do you want John?” I asked, annoyance showing plainly on my face. He smirked, “I just wanted to say you hit like a girl.” I grabbed the nearest object to me, a pillow, and threw it at his face. He managed to shut the door just in time and the pillow hit the door harmlessly. I locked it behind him before sinking down to the floor. Was Edmund going to kiss me? No, that’s ridiculous. He barely knows me. Still, I couldn’t help thinking about it.

There was a knock on my door once more and I sighed, pulling myself up from the floor. If it was John again, I swear. I opened the door, and immediately my thoughts were put on hold as I caught sight of the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. “Y/N, I’m sorry I just couldn’t leave without doing this.” And then, his lips were on mine. Edmund was kissing me. And I was kissing him. Unbelievable. We broke apart slowly, like the world was moving in slow motion and we were the only two people in it. “Wow.” I said, and he laughed with relief. “Y/N, I kind of think you’re amazing and... I’d really like to get to know you better.” I smiled back at him, “I’d like that.”

#edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie x reader #narnia edmund #chronicles of narnia #prince caspian #narnia #narnia imagine #imagine #fan fic writing #edmund pevensie imagine #edmund pevensie fanfic #edmund x reader #voyage of the dawn treader #lucy pevensie

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irishseeeker · 4 years ago

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Having a crush on your boss is embarrassing. Inappropriate. Wrong. Especially when your boss is Anthony Bridgerton, the most insufferable man on the planet whom you actively despise.

What does Kate have to say on the matter?

...No comment.

Kate doesn’t know how it started.

Kate Sheffield did not like her boss. She actively despised her boss, Anthony Bridgerton, and he despised her. It was like a hobby. Her hatred for him was like a pet, like Newton, her gorgeous corgi, that she tended to and nurtured by making Bridgerton’s life as difficult as possible.

Except, something had changed.

She still despised him, she hadn’t gone completely insane-expect, that loathing went from pure loathing to...loathing with a side of oh, Anthony Bridgerton looks good in that suit today.

She now noticed things like when he got a haircut. His chestnut hair had been cut sharp, there was still a bit of height on the top but it was shaven quite tight around his ears.

He looked good.

Really good.

She wasn’t a teenager anymore. She was an adult. A 29 year old adult with a degree. A nice apartment. She even had house plants she managed to keep alive.

She shouldn’t have crushes like this.

Especially on him.

She didn't. Nope. She couldn't. Kate Sheffield did not have a crush on Anthony Bridgerton.

It wasn't possible.

He was just on her mind a lot, she tended to stare at him quite a bit and she may have a new routine of stalking his social media on a daily basis.

So, to conclude, she definitely did not have a crush on Anthony Bridgerton.

It was probably some type of illness. She could have an underlying cold coming on that deluded her into thinking Anthony Bridgerton was good looking and looked really good in expensive suits and his gym gear when it came into the office late every Wednesday after a personal training session in the morning.

Oh God.

It had gotten to the point where it was affecting her work.

Like right now.

She should be working on her mountain of paperwork sitting on her desk, but instead, she was watching Bridgerton stretch through his office glass windows. His office was parallel to hers on the top floor of Bridgerton & Family group building. It was the headquarters of the decades old Bridgerton & Family hotel group. Kate was the head of finance for their United Kingdom group, specifically dealing with approving budgets and projects. She had qualified as an accountant when she was 24 and had moved up from there.

She could see his white shirt, which probably cost more than her rent and was never wrinkled, slowly rise above his waist as he stretched his arms. She could see the outline of his pelvis, and the tanned skin he must have got from his recent work trip to Barbados. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, which showed off his forearms quite nicely. When did he get muscular?

The phone rang, making her jump and resulting in her reusable coffee cup spilling all down her white blouse.

“Shit!”

“All okay?” Sophie, her assistant, popped her head in.

“Just a coffee spill, thanks Sophie.” Kate said, sighing as she grabbed her blazer and buttoned it up, which covered the brown stain on her chest.

“I just sent you the proposal from Anthony!” Sophie called through the door. Sophie Beckett had been Kate’s incredible assistant for a year now. She was a few years younger than Kate, and she was working to put herself through university. Kate dreaded the day she lost her, but also signed her up for company funded courses as Sophie would go far in life and Kate couldn’t wait to see what she achieved.

“Cheers!” Kate shouted back, sitting down at her desk and opening up her email. Her eyes scanned the email and the proposal, and her stomach dropped as her chest filled with fury.

“That motherfucker,” Kate spat, shoving herself away from her desk as she stormed towards Anthony Bridgerton’s office, ready to commit murder.

Gregory, his assistant and younger brother, wasn’t at his desk. She had checked Bridgerton’s work calendar and it was clear, so he wasn’t with a client. She didn’t bother knocking.

That was her first mistake.

“Bridgerton, I don’t know if you were dropped on your head as a child-“

Her voice caught in her throat. His office was occupied by two other men, who had heard every single word she had just said.

That was her second mistake.

“Oh! I am so sorry," Her cheeks flushed with red mortification and she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. "I can come back-”

Anthony sat behind his desk, smugly beaming at her as she flushed in embarrassment. “Ah, Kate. Charming as always. I was waiting for you to storm in and annoy me today. Have you met my brothers? This is Benedict and Colin,” He gestured to the two men sitting in front of him.

“The famous Kate Sheffield,” Benedict extended his hand, grinning at her as he stood up. “It is an honour to meet you.”

“We’ve heard so many great things,” Kate raised an confused eyebrow at Colin as he stood up and spoke, shaking his hand as well. “From Gregory. We’re big fans of your daily torment of our dear older brother.”

“He definitely was dropped, by the way,” said Colin, grinning cheekily at Anthony who scowled at him. “Mother would never admit to it, but it would explain a lot.”

Kate laughed at him as Anthony scowled. “The chances of you getting the travel money you wanted are looking incredibly low, dearest brother,” said Anthony, narrowing his eyes at his Colin. “What did you want, Sheffield? I’m busy.”

There was a knock at the door just as Kate opened her mouth to retort, and Sophie popped her head in the doorway. “Excuse me for interrupting,” She said, looking at Kate. “Kate, there’s an important phone call waiting for you. Hi Anthony.”

"Hey, Sophie," said Anthony, pleasantly smiling at her which made Kate glare at him in disgust. Sophie and Bridgerton liked each other. Sophie had said on more than one occasion that he wasn't as bad as Kate made him out to be, and Kate usually threw a pen at her.

“Thank you, Sophie,” She smiled at her assistant, before turning around back to Bridgerton and putting the proposal on his desk with the word ‘DENIED’ scribbled across it in red sharpie. “I don’t want to see this proposal on my desk again. I don't feel like denying it for a fourth time.”

Benedict had turned around and was staring at Sophie, and Anthony rolled his eyes. This was one of their new arguments, that had been going on for a few weeks over a hotel design proposal that Anthony desperately wanted and Kate wouldn’t approve under any circumstances.

“Your wants aren’t really my concern, Sheffield,” Anthony said, his tone dismissive. “It’s an excellent proposal-”

Kate snorted. “It’s an obnoxious, reckless, extremely over the top hotel proposal that is not going to happen just to boost your ego. The Board would never agree to it and I certainly won’t.”

“We’ll see about that,” He smirked at her, but his eyes were glaring at her. “The Board are very fond of me. I can be very persuasive.”

“You need finance clearance and-oh. Who in finance has that authority?” She tilted her head slightly, before looking back at him to smirk right back at his smug face. “That’s right, me.”

“Who is CEO of the company and whose name is on the company?” Anthony retorted, furrowing his brows before smirking at her. “That’s right,” He mimicked her, “Me.”

“Does this happen often?” Benedict asked, amused as his head flicked between Kate and Anthony.

Gregory Bridgerton, who was eating a packet of crisps, appeared at the doorway and joined the conversation. “Everyday.”

“Every single day,” Sophie added in agreement, smirking slightly which faded as her cheeks turned crimson when she caught Benedict’s eye, quickly looking away.

“No it does not!” Both Kate and Anthony said at the same time.

Kate shook her head in frustration, “I have to go. If you email me that proposal again, I will stamp it once again with DENIED and hammer it onto your door until the message gets through your thick skull.”

“I am your boss, Sheffield,” said Anthony, his tone rather sharp. “You can’t talk to me like that.”

“Oh, forgive me,” Kate said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Should I write it down so you will actually understand what I’m saying?”

Anthony glared at her furiously, pushing himself up with his fists. “You can shove it up your-”

“So lovely to meet you both,” said Kate, interrupting Anthony’s insult loudly as she smiled at his laughing two brothers before walking out of the room, Sophie at her heels.

It was no way to talk to her boss, he was right, but they had long passed the proper etiquette of employer and employee relationships. They regularly insulted and shouted at each other, whether it was in person, over text or on the phone, and it just sort of became what they did. It somehow worked, as they worked well together and the company was making its highest profits to date.

Kate sat at her desk, her heart thumping in her chest. What was she thinking? She did not like that man. He infuriated her. She grabbed her jacket on the back of her chair and quietly screamed into it, then took a deep breath before answering the phone. “Edwina? Is everything okay? Is it Mary? Is it Newton?”

“Relax, Kate,” Her sister said, with amusement in her voice. “I had to say it was an emergency for you to answer during work. It is technically an emergency.”

“Not funny,” Kate mumbled, resting her cheek against her desk and putting the phone on speaker. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Kate heard her sister swallow before biting the bullet. “I need you to come to this charity gala tonight.”

“No.”

“Kate-”

“No!”

“My date just bailed on me for Paris fashion week. I can’t go alone. It would be so embarrassing. He’s already been photographed with some Russian model this morning,” Her sister’s voice broke slightly. “Please, Katie.”

Edwina was her younger sister by four years, and she was a famous supermodel. She had been scouted when they were walking down Oxford Street, and it had been runways, magazines and brand deals for Edwina ever since. Kate would do anything for her sister, especially when she pleaded with her, even if that thing made Kate want to set herself on fire.

Actually, she probably would prefer having a civilized conversation with Anthony Bridgerton than go to one of Edwina’s events. That’s how much Kate hated them.

She groaned. “Fine, but two hours top. I will choose what I wear and if you try to set me up, I will leave.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! “ Her sister squealed to the phone. “Be at mine at six! Do not be late! I love you.”

“I love you too, but I want you to know at this very moment, I really despise you,” Kate said as she heard her sister chuckle before hanging up. Excellent. She hated Edwina’s events. She had been to many of Edwina’s parties, galas and events, which involved Kate trailing behind her famous sister who everyone cooed and praised and only ever acknowledged Kate with a “Oh! I didn’t know you had a sister!” after Edwina introduced her.

As if her day couldn’t get any worse.

She heard a buzz, and then Sophie’s voice over the intercom. “Can I get you anything?”

Kate groaned. “The will to live.”

“How about a milkshake?”

She lifted her head off her desk slightly, perking up. “Please. Chocolate with extra crème. I’m feeling fragile.”

“Of course, I’ll go right away,” Sophie spoke, hesitating slightly before continuing. “Anthony has just sent an invite for the hotel proposal presentation with the Board in a few weeks. Talktoyoulaterbye!”

Kate’s head snapped up off her desk, “What?” She spat out, fury filling her veins and she twisted her neck towards his office. He was looking right at her, smirking like the devil himself, and he had the audacity to wave.

Kate’s middle finger waved right back.

a/n: chapter 2 coming soon!

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imgoingtohellsofuckit · 4 years ago

Text

Christmas Cookies

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings - uh none?

summary - Reader tries to convince Spencer that christmas isn’t all that bad

Spencer was all about Halloween. The costumes, the decorations. He loved every single part of the holiday. He was having the most fun on Halloween enjoying his traditions. However, like most Halloween people he didn't exactly love Christmas. And his girlfriend is more than happy to help change his mind about the holiday.

"Isn't this all a bit much?" Spencer asks as you balance yourself on one of the dining room chairs to try and hang the stockings. "I mean it's just gonna be us."

"That doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves," You tell him. She smiles lightly as she steps off the chair to look over your work. "Alright, do you like it?" He smiles lightly.

"Yeah- you do know there are no written records of the origin of the Christmas Stocking?" He tells you. A dorky smile across his face. "people have tried to write the legend or match stories up to explain the lore- the most accepted one is about St. Nicholas wanting to help a poor family but because the father was so stubborn he couldn't just hand over anything to help. So he dropped gold into stockings that were hung by the fireplace to dry." You nod along to the words. Enjoying the fun fact.

"And now they are normalized for most countries," You add, "well- do you like these? The embroidery kinda got a little sloppy." Spencer gives you a soft comforting smile.

"I love them," He assures you. You nod lightly. Moving back to the tub of decorations. It was mostly leftovers of things that just didn't fit with everything else. "It's very winter wonderland in here."

"I love it," You smile, "alright I'm gonna start making cookies- which do you prefer chocolate chip or sugar cookies?"

"Sugar Cookies are more seasonal," Spencer starts, "am I supposed to be helping you?"

"Yes spencer," You tell him. He chuckles. You move to take his hand. Pulling him along to the kitchen. He groans slightly. Once in the kitchen, the two of you start pulling the ingredients out of the pantry. These were clearly your addition to the household. Spencer maybe cooked a handful of times and year and he baked even less than that. So when you moved in you filled the shelves with things to make it almost seem like the people in the house take care of themselves. You both set everything on the counter. "Alright let's do chocolate chip first- they are easier to make anyways."

"Who decided that?"

"Me- why Spence are you gonna argue it?"

"No no just wondering," He says as he pulls down the mixing bowl, "this thing hasn't been touched since my birthday."

"Is that your way of saying you want me to bake more?"

"I mean I wouldn't be opposed," He says chuckling lightly, "it's always a good time for cookies made from scratch." You nod as you grab the measuring cups. "I mean if it isn't too hard."

"Maybe I'll make more but only because you're cute," You say as you pull his hands into yours, "and I love seeing that smile." He chuckles lightly. You move to pull him into a quick kiss. After you break the kiss you move to start measuring out the flour. "Do you have something else you want? Maybe something to take to work with you?"

"We work together-"

"I know that but you travel- I just sit with Garcia," You tell him, "if you don't want any that's fine I just figured I'd offer-"

"No no- I want some," He assures you, "maybe those pumpkin cookies? I know you only really make them around Halloween." You nod lightly. "But they are my favorite."

"Pumpkin cookies it is," You tell him pouring the sugar in, "but I'm sending you with Peppermint candies. You'll have something festive." He chuckles. "I'll make you like this holiday damn it."

"By buttering me up with sweets?"

"If that's what it takes," You say at once, "can you hand me the chocolate chips?" He moves to hand them over. You add them into the bowl then hand it over to Spencer to stir. He takes it and moves.

"I don't know why you always give this to me it's not like I'm any stronger than you," Spencer says as he starts to stir the dough, "it's counterproductive."

"It's busywork," You tell him, "when you do stuff like this I get to hear you talk and I love listening to you talk." He smiles lightly. "So pretty boy tell me some more facts?"

"Alright- Modern Christmas cookies can trace their history to recipes from Medieval Europe biscuits that's when many modern ingredients such as cinnamon, ginger, black pepper, almonds, and dried fruit were introduced into the west," Spencer starts, "the 16th century they were popular around Europe. Each country tended to have one traditional biscuit. For Germany, it was called that Lebkuchen. It's mainly made from honey-"

"Oh speak more Germany to me, love," You say with a bright smile.

"Oh you're testing my knowledge," He says running through his thoughts to remember the translation. "Ich denke, du bist so schön." You smile. Not knowing what the words mean but just knowing that you love watching Spencer like this. Watching him show off how smart he is. Other people thought he was a show-off when he did this. You always loved watching him use that big brain of his. "Wanna know what it means?"

"Hmm depends."

"On?"

"If I'll think it was more romantic when I couldn't tell what you were saying," You tell him.

"I said that I think you are so beautiful," He tells you. You smile at the words.

"Thank you, Spencer- but that sounds like you're trying to score," You chuckle. A cocky grin covers his expression. You move to pull him closer to you. Tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Is that what you want? To get in my pants, pretty boy?"

"Well, I'm never opposed-"

You chuckle loudly. Turning back to start placing the cookies on the baking trap.

"Think you can take over this part?" You ask him. He nods. Lining the trap along with the balls of cookie dough while you start on his pumpkin cookies. "can you hand me the flour Spence?" He moves handing over the bag. You give him a quick mischievous smirk as you grab a pinch full of flour and toss it at him.

"Really?!" He asks at once, "and you call me a child."

"You look so pretty- even covered in flour," You chuckle.

"Hmm let's see if that works both ways," Spencer says. He moves to grab a whole fistful of flour and tosses it over at you. You chuckle in a slight offense as you attempt to wipe off the flour from your clothes. "Beautiful even covered in flour." You roll your eyes lightly as you move to dump the cup of flour into the second mixing bowl. "You wanted my help love."

"Oh, I'm enjoying this," You tell him, "you having holiday fun. Absolutely amazing." He chuckles lightly. "wanna get those in the oven?"

"Sure," He says. He places the tray into the oven. Moving to set the timer. He turns back to see you working on getting his pumpkin cookies together. "I'll wash the bowl so we can work on the sugar cookies next."

"Doing the dishes- wow Spencer that is seriously hot."

"I do the dishes!"

"I never said you didn't- but by the way, I do them way more than you do," You say as you stir the dough, "you think the waters gross so you whine-"

"I wasn't whining-"

You nod lightly. Moving to cute the cookies into the shape of sweaters. Hoping to add some festive flair to them. Spencer moves placing the now clean mixing bowl onto the counter. He starts on the sugar cookie batter.

"Sweaters huh?" He asks.

"Like little Christmas sweaters- or your little sweaters," You tease. He nods. A light smile across his face. "I assume you remember the recipe?"

"Even if I didn't have an eidetic memory with how many of these we had to make last year I don't know how I could forget," He says as he moves through the recipe. You chuckle lightly.

"Hey all of our coworkers loved it," You point out. He nods lightly.

Last year the two of you made about 10 batches to hand out around work. It made your coworkers day. Plenty of smiles and laughs with the baked goods.

"Besides stuff like this means I get to spend more time with you," You smile.

"Always a good thing," He says moving to start stirring the batter, "why haven't we got a mixer yet?"

"Because I asked you for a mixer for Christmas," You chuckle lightly, "besides we always forget how much we want one until we bake anything which is only on birthdays and holidays."

"Okay well- I'm going to make sure that you get your stand mixer," He chuckles, "mostly because I hate all of the mixing." You laugh loudly. "But also because I love you." You roll your eyes playfully as he sets down the ball of dough. He moves to roll it out to cut out the shapes as you set the second batch of cookies in the oven. "Do you want more facts about Christmas cookies?"

"How dare you even ask- of course, I want more Christmas cookie facts," You say as you turn to Spencer. He laughs lightly. Always excited to share is knowledge. Especially when someone wants to know. Even more so when someone as beautiful as you asked.

"Gingerbread originated in the Crusades and was originally made using breadcrumbs, boiled with honey and seasoned heavily with spices," He starts, "It was pressed onto cookie boards which then was nothing more than carved slabs of wood with religious designs and dried. People were said to only be allowed to make the cookies themselves around the holidays because the rest of the year laws restricted its baking to guildsman."

"Guildsman?" You ask, "hmm well I guess that's one way to protect jobs. And cookie boards- kinda like cookie cutters."

"Yeah, that's how it evolved," Spencer tells you, "cool right?"

"Very," You tell him, "God I love that big brain of yours. Seriously Spencer." He gives you a big smile. You move cupping his cheeks.

"You love my brain?"

"I love all of you," You tell him, "but I adore your brain. I love listening to you talk."

"I knew you were perfect," He teases. You laugh lightly as you move into his arms. He wraps them around you tightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Spence," You tell him. He moves to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Du bist die Liebe meines Lebens," He says softly.

"Mm, what does that mean?"

"You are the love of my life," He says quietly. You smile moving to pull him into a soft kiss. His hands fall to your waist. Placing them carefully. Making sure not to move them without permission. Your hands tangle in his hair. Pulling him into an eager kiss. He moves backing you up against the counter. Careful not to be too forceful that he hurts you. Still, he takes the chance to deepen the kiss.

You move back at once as the timer blares. You move to grab the cookies from the oven at once then shoves the other tray inside. Spencer helps set them on the cooling racks. Y/n chuckles as he yanks his hand back.

"Spencer, you okay?"

"Yeah the cookies are hot- you think I would have known that." You both chuckle lightly. He smiles. "I've got another cookie fact-"

"Oh well, please share my love," You tell him.

"Another place in history where we see the cookie shapes being significant for the holidays is in colonial areas where the Church of England was influential. They call it mumming Christmas stories were acted out and food was used to help depict the stories," He explains, "am i boring you?"

"Not at all," You reply as you watch him carefully.

"Alright well in the 1800s, Pennsylvania Dutch children created large cutout cookies as window decorations now they were made with tin cutters and shaped like people, elaborately decorated with icing the closest to gingerbread men since they weren't religious," Spencer explains.

"We should make gingerbread men then," You tell him, "go traditional... Spencer, we could make gingerbread cookies of ourselves!" He chuckles lightly.

"That's dorky-"

"You're calling me dorky?" You ask him, "really? Are you kidding me?"

"It's dorky!"

"You break my heart," You tell him, "we could make gingerbread people for all of our friends. Tell me that wouldn't be adorable."

"Yes it would be cute but I don't even think we have the supplies for gingerbread cookies-"

You look to him pouting lightly. He sighs.

"I'll run to the store," Spencer gives in.

"Thank you, baby," You say brightly.

He's quick about getting to the store. Working through the aisles quickly to gather everything his girlfriend needs.

"No Penelope he's at the store," You tell the blonde on the other line, "gathering cookie ingredients."

"Oh baker Reid," She starts, "awe I love when you two bake. You always get such cute pictures."

"And it's so nice to spend time with him," You tell her, "normally we get days like this every couple of months at best... I'm waiting for JJ or Hotch to call me and ruin my fun."

"Don't speak it into existence," Penelope says, "Kevin is on his way over with a bottle of wine and a good time- and if I lose that I might go berserk." You laugh lightly as you place the sugar cookies on the cooling rack. Before turning back to the homemade icing. "I need a night in my prince's arms."

"Tell me about it," You chuckle, "Between the cases and Spencer almost dying every other week I really need this time with him. Even if it's just us making cookies." Penelope chuckles.

"Don't you dare tell me there won't be more," She teases.

"I don't know for sure," You say honestly, "depends on if Hotch lets me have my boyfriend for the night." She laughs lightly. You could hear the door open. Spencer calls to let you know he's home. "That's him Pen."

"Oh please give me all the juicy details on our Doctor Reid later!"

"Bye Pen-"

"Bye Y/n!"

You hang the phone up and move to toss it onto the counter. Spencer hands over the bags.

"Who was that?"

"Garcia," You tell him, "she was asking me to share some juicy details about our sex lives."

"People actually talk about that stuff?" He asks clearly a little embarrassed.

"I mean yeah," You chuckle, "I don't tell her everything if you are worried about that."

"No, I'm not worried about it-" He's starting to get flustered. You take his hand gently. He sighs. "Did you tell all the girls at work?"

"Just Penelope," You tell him, "and it's only small things. Like romantic gestures. I try not to say anything that I know you wouldn't want me to." He nods lightly. "Now wanna start making the cookies while I get your pumpkin cookies iced."

"Of course Malady," He says brightly. You move carefully icing the cookies as he starts on the cookies.

"You never told me what you want for Christmas," You point out.

"I want a whole day just the two of us," Spencer tells you.

"That is out of my hands," You tell him, "but I'll try my best to make it work." He nods lightly. "Anything else you want?"

"Uh- books," He tells you.

"Books? Any book?"

"No - I'll make a list," He says at once. You nod turning back to the cookies. "Anything you want that isn't the mixer?"

"Your love."

"You already have that," He chuckles. You turn to finish icing the cookies before starting on the sugar cookies. Spencer watches you carefully as he works on the gingerbread cookies. "Come on you have to want something else."

"I want you to take me to go look at Christmas lights," You tell him. He smiles lightly.

"I can do that," Spencer tells you.

"I knew I picked you for a reason," You say brightly. He moves setting the dough on the counter so you both can cut out the shapes. After you get them cut out he tosses them in the oven. You look over to him eagerly.

"What?"

"You're so handsome," You say brightly, "and I love you." He chuckles lightly. You take his hand carefully. "Christmas movies?"

"Depends... Which one?"

"Hmm, Polar Express?"

"Perfect," He says softly. You move to pull him along to the living room. He gets the movie set up as you climb onto the couch excitedly. Wrapping your arms around him the second he lays back down. You move resting your head on his chest. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest. As you keep your eyes on the movie Spencer gently plays with your hair. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you, love," You say softly. He moves pulling you closer to him.

"You know if we get to be like this then maybe I'll start to like Christmas," Spencer starts.

"Oh we can be like this all the time for Christmas," You tell him, "even better- we can have matching pajamas."

"Matching pajamas?"

You stand moving to the bedroom. Digging through the bags until you pull out matching pajama sets.

"I was going to wait until Christmas eve to get these out but I think we can manage getting them now," You say as you toss a set over to him, "you like them?"

"I love them," He says.

"Perfect because I told JJ we'd wear them to her Christmas party," You chuckle.

"Pajamas?"

"Her and Will are wearing their own matching PJs," You tell him, "it's just a cute thing... We don't have to."

"No no I like it," Spencer tells you. You aren't convinced he's telling the truth but you don't mind. This stuff is more your speed anyway.

"Well then let's get them on," You tell him. He nods. moving to pull off his sweater and replace it with the red Christmas top. You smirk slightly as you look over him. "You're so pretty."

"You always call me pretty," Spencer says as you toss away your top.

"Because you're pretty," You shrug, "sorry love." You move pulling on the pants. Spencer adjusts his slightly. You were a little worried it wouldn't fit right considering how tall and lanky the bastard is. "Please tell me that fits. They didn't have anything that was longer the wasn't also bigger and I didn't want it falling off of you."

"It fits fine," Spencer assures you. You move to take his hand carefully. He smiles widely.

"Come on we have to get the cookies," You tell him. He nods as you lead him out to the kitchen. Spending the rest of your night baking and watching holiday movies.

Spencer was sure that as long as you were by his side he'd give the holiday a chance.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal mind oneshots #christmas with spencer reid

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thecreaturecodex · 4 years ago

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Oni, Dira

“GORGON” © Monolith Board Games LLC, by David Demaret. Accessed at the artist’s deviantArt gallery here

[Commissioned by @crazytrain48, based on the fury from the Arduin Grimoire. Oddly enough, this monster seems to have been skipped by mistake in the Arduin Trilogy reprint from 2008. The name is from the Dirae, the Roman equivalent of the Furies. The commissioner asked me to make them an oni, based on their similarity to existing races plus their regeneration. I was happy to oblige. They’re lower CR than many of my previous monstrous humanoid themed oni, for a number of reasons. One, the original monster isn’t very strong, no matter the edition of Arduin. Two, it’s easier to use them in groups, which fits their original flavor text. Three, it’s easier to intersperse them with harpies and/or gargoyles.]

Oni, Dira CR 6 CE Outsider (native) This humanoid female is scaled, clawed and winged, with talons of brass and luminous eyes. Her hair is tangled and matted with filth, and her jaw opens disturbingly wide, revealing sharp teeth.

The dirae are monstrous oni that are envious of the power of flight. Although they began existence as immaterial spirits, the sensation of defying gravity and the rush of wind is so alluring to some kami that they attempt to assume angelic forms. In their hubris, these forms turn monstrous and twisted, forming the aspect of a dira. Dirae have been incorrectly assumed by some scholars to be the hybrid offspring of harpies and gargoyles, and they do have traits of both of those species. In addition, they affiliate themselves with both types of creatures, and mixed eyries of the three species are dangerous and destructive.

In combat, dirae charge in at all haste, snatching at foes and tearing them apart with their claws or simply picking dropping them from a great height. They are practically fearless, as they regenerate from most attacks. Blessed weapons are most effective at stopping their regeneration, as are force spells such as magic missile. They do not have the full alluring song of a harpy, but can instead use a few notes to render foes disoriented and unprepared to fight, allowing their claws to find greater purchase. Dirae enjoy toying with enemies, and may make multiple hit and run attacks to whittle foes down and waste their resources.

Dirae lair in mountains and hills of all climates, as they prefer open skies and interesting wind patterns to soar on. They often keep the weapons of their enemies as trophies, even though they usually prefer fighting with tooth and nail. They are prone to sins of the flesh, being gluttonous, covetous and lustful; these vices can be played to by canny travelers passing through dirae territory.

Dirae Tears Under the rarest of circumstances, a dira may cry a tear of genuine contrition and grief. These tears harden into an red crystalline substance, which is prized for its healing powers. A creature may consume a dira tear and make a DC 18 Fortitude save. If it succeeds, it gains fast healing 2 for 24 hours. If it fails, it contracts demon fever with no incubation period. A dira tear is worth 2,000 gp.

Dira CR 6 XP 2,400 CE Medium outsider (native, oni, shapechanger) Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +12 Defense AC 18, touch 13, flat-footed 15 (+3 Dex, +5 natural) hp 73 (7d10+35); regeneration 2 (good aligned, force) Fort +7, Ref +8, Will +8 DR 10/magic; Immune disease, fear, petrifaction, poison Weakness monstrous blood Offense Speed 30 ft., fly 90 ft. (good) Melee bite +10 (1d6+3 plus disease), 2 claws +10 (1d4+3 plus grab) Special Attacks distracting note, pounce, rake (2 claws, 1d4+3) Statistics Str 16, Dex 17, Con 20, Int 13, Wis 16, Cha 16 Base Atk +7; CMB +11 (+13 disarm, +15 grapple); CMD 25 (27 vs. disarm) Feats Combat Expertise, Hover, Improved Disarm, Wingover Skills Acrobatics +11, Appraise +9, Fly +15, Intimidate +11, Perception +11, Sense Motive +11, Stealth +11 Languages Auran, Common Ecology Environment any hills and mountains Organization solitary, pair, flight (3-12), or eyrie (1-12 plus 2-24 harpies and/or gargoyles) Treasure standard Special Abilities Disease (Ex) Demon fever; bite—injury; save Fort DC 18; onset 1 day; frequency 1/day; effect 1d6 Con damage; target must make a second Fort save or 1 point of damage is drain instead; cure 2 consecutive saves. The save DC is Constitution based. Distracting Note (Su) As a swift action, a dira can sing a few notes to disorient a creature within 60 feet. That creature must succeed a DC 16 Will save or be flat-footed for 1 round. A creature that saves against this effect is immune to the distracting note of that dira for the next 24 hours. This is a mind-influencing effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Monstrous Blood (Ex) A dira counts as both a native outsider and a monstrous humanoid for the purposes of spells and effects that depend on creature type.

#dira #oni #pathfinder 1e #arduin #commissions

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slumberinglabyrinth · 4 years ago

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a while back i did a review of the prison chapter in por and it was totally overblown and whatever but i kinda wanna do that again for (what remains of) radiant dawn so i guess i will

I'll be doing them in batches since this got long. In this post: 3-5 through 3-9

3-5: it's been two years and i forget why we have to defend this castle

this was a pretty alright map. the reinforcements were annoying but that's because I generally don't actually turtle all that much on defend chapters and as a result I was Right There whenever and wherever they showed up. I tried to grab the energy drop off the boss but the dude ran away from Heather the moment I created an opening and I didn’t want to reset so :^/

I moved provoke off of shinon and onto Brom for this and its... probably way too strong? like it wasn't a 100% draw rate but there were several turns in a row where he was the only person being attacked which is. insane. and also super fun lmao. I think it's a shame that the hostility mechanics in fe aren't as well documented; on some level it ruins the magic, but in cases like this where you're actively influencing it i think it'd be useful to know to what degree you're actually influencing it

disarm + steal is also a really neat/fun idea that would be a great way to counteract how i apparently will never have any money for weapons while playing as the greilgallia party crew 😔 (not to be confused with the greilgallia polycule, which disbanded around twenty years earlier) but I can also never get disarm to proc and half the things that i was able to get unequipped were too heavy for Heather to actually steal 😔

all around a decent map to ease myself back into playing rd with. I certainly could have played better, but defend maps tend to be easier and I appreciated that here

3-6: dawn brigade returns and promptly sinks into a swamp

god this map sucked. it's really hard to pick where to start with it but while i get that lore dictates that they need to only be fighting laguz right here it was probably the wrong gameplay decision with everything else that was going on. I think maybe making tigers have ~4 less str across the board would have been a nice start since I kinda needed to either never get hit by them at all or to kill them first.

several chapters later I’m also realizing maybe i should have like. started to use bexp lol

fighting laguz is also really weird in terms of like... because they have boosted stats while transformed so you can either kill them while they're untransformed (which is fairly easy but since they don't attack, you have to kill them during player phase which means one per turn per unit), deal chip damage (or none at all) to burn down their gauge so you can actually kill them, or try to power through their boosted stats and hope you don’t die in the process.

Because I hadn't used bexp and almost all my units were super weak, I mostly had to rely on the eff against beasts knife that you can buy in the bargain shop this chapter and also volug, who had enough def (even with halfshift) to not die in one round. Honorable mentions go to noland (a fitting name for this map), jill (with canto!), and zihark, who were able to help pick off untransformed laguz, and to micaiah, who could deal magic damage and actually damage transformed laguz.

this was also the first dawn brigade map! i know lots of people people dont like their maps after act 1 and while i was trying to go into this one with an open mind... yeah, they totally got shafted by this map design. it's not really their fault but this map sucked hard. I know that they generally did one of each class variant (fire mage, wind mage, etc.) and not have duplicates but I think that the dawn brigade would have benefited from another mage of some kind if only so you could have someone who could deal with all these goddamned cats

also bk shows up but since he's not a bonus unit i didn't want to feed him kills so i didnt really use him. maybe that was a mistake. also why couldn't he like. warp someone that wasn't the furthest away from the action.

3-7: hey so we heard you liked the previous map

Zihark is there? fuck this i'm reverting to a previous save and unrecruiting him

3-6: i forgot to mention that this map was a swamp map and also had darkness

I know I've mentioned that the similar map in fe6 (desert+fog) was actually kinda alright but this one isnt that at all. Playing through it a second time helped because i knew where enemies were spawning, but it was still more annoying than fun.

Swamps commit the cardinal sin of forcing everyone that can't fly (in this case: everyone but jill) to suffer massive terrain penalties. Deserts at least let mages move a little bit further (which admittedly wouldn't help much here since it's only micaiah and laura), but here everyone friend and foe alike (except Jill) moves slowly and it makes gameplay just grind to a halt which is never, ever fun level design.

Also Fiona just. could not move beyond the starting island. she couldn't even wade a little bit into the swamp like i did with ed and leo to attack at range and get laguz to untransform. they let you deploy everyone but it genuinely felt like i wasn't handed the tools to succeed at this map. always a great goal to have when designing a game

I don't know how to improve this map. unrecruiting zihark (by flying him up to the northeast with jill and having him talk to mordy/lethe) wasn't particularly difficult (battle saves make it easy enough to scout out where they were, and it's not like i'd ever feel bad about 'cheating' on this map) but... would a greater field of view actually help? would making it not a swamp actually help? would giving you more allied units that'll throw themselves in the face of danger with no regard for their own lives actually help?

I don't know.

3-7: but for real this time

Back to ikequest!

this map is... literally the same map as the previous one, but with a different map objective. and larger. and backwards. and not at night.

it's still a swamp.

Luckily, it's a survive map, and the vast majority of the enemy force does not have the time to actually reach you if you hide up in the corner.

Which is exactly what i did.

Here's the list of the optional units (ike and ranulf are mandatory, which sucks because i don't like using twinks cat laguz and ike's plot promotion feels miles away) I deployed and why I deployed them

Haar: to fly out and recruit Jill

Gatrie: to be carried by Haar and specifically to bait the single thunder mage in Haar's way (and help Haar clean out that area so Jill can be safely recruited). I gave him corrosion two maps ago and it actually fully disarmed a guy on this map! 🎊

Brom: stand near where the swamp ends and draw the handful of enemies that actually make it all the way there away from ike and ranulf and ulki and jaffar (who are auto-recruits in this chapter).

This map is. so incredibly easy to both beat and complete the (meaningful) optional objectives on. I missed a conversation between Ike and Micaiah (which requires you to travel all the way across the map that i just finished saying takes forever to traverse and do it in 12 turns), but as long as you unrecruit Zihark on the previous map (he's.... right in the middle of the main force so good luck if you don't) you can probably do this map first try with no deaths even if you haven't trained haargatriebrom At All

I think that kinda underscores a problem that intsys had with rd which was... it feels like they didn't really have a lot of time to fine-tune stuff? like you're going from the hardest (or at least most unpleasant) map to the easiest one this side of the tutorial and it just. doesn't feel good? like there's going to be some inherent difficulty in balancing a difficulty curve when you're shifting from party to party but. this was bad. really bad.

Also a side observation but it does actually say who units can talk to in battle prep which is pretty useful thing to have! you need to shift the stat spreadsheet allllll the way over, but it's there!

i promptly forgot about it by the time 3-10 came around and was like "hey i should just. have ike run up to elincia, see if they'll talk, and then reset" though lol

3-8: Less-than-Lethal Lava Land

A fairly standard lava cave map. My only real comment here is that it was kinda nice how they made the spots where you'd take damage fairly obvious while still making them appear as natural parts of the terrain. I think it was the durandal map in 7 but its "if you're on these at the end of the turn you'll take damage" tiles looked super out of place while the armads map on the other hand wasn't super self-evident and i'm glad they improved

3-9: still cant use lucia >:(

Another party shift (this time to Elincia), and there was some good use of ledges in this chapter!

Most of your units couldn't use them but it created alternate paths for the ones that could (Calill and Devdan). Previous maps tended to use them more as holes in your defenses than needed to be plugged, but it created ways to progress (and ways for reinforcements to catch up) that are usually reserved for flying units, except now you're interacting with the map instead of ignoring it completely.

I think I've yet to meet someone who genuinely likes ledges as a map element, though I think this map really drives home that the sole (inherent) problem with them is the accuracy modifications (which, as this map also demonstrates when the stairs near the end become a chokepoint, are actually present with all elevation changes). While the +2 damage dealt while on the high ground is reasonable, +50 and especially -50 to hitrate are insane and completely unnecessary modifiers. They should be half that if you even choose to retain both.

Anyway.

the absolute lack of a (player-controlled) healer in Elincia's party was also........ interesting. Annoying, but interesting. Why must allied clerics choose death?1

#fe10 #its a lot easier to articulate myself when the context of what im saying is so readily apparent

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nagdabbit · 5 years ago

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16. "I only have sexual words for non-sexual feelings!" please and thank you!

HIIIIII FRIEND! 💜💜💜 i’m sorry this is so late! i am, it turns out, very slow at these prompty things.

i hope this one make you laugh and makes your day a little better and i’m sorry it took soooo long. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

~~~~~~~

"Okay, okay, start from the top," Steve said, waving his hands at her. "You're talking very fast and out of order and it's very confusing."

"How?" she demanded, damn close to pulling her hair out, because it wasn't confusing; it was frustrating and annoying and anxiety-inducing and frustrating, and she was sure she was speaking clear enough that Steve could follow. "What's confusing about this?!"

"Just--start from the beginning, okay?" Steve said, making another placating kind of gesture at her. He was leaning across the counter, watching her with those big, friendly Disney princess eyes.

"The beginning is that I don't want to have sex," she snapped and continued her pacing.

Steve nodded, and he had one of those stupid encouraging sort of looks on his face and she hated how much it actually helped calm her. "Now? With Heather? Ever?"

"Never," she snapped. "Not ever. Not at any time in the near, or distant, future do I ever want to have sex with anyone."

"Okay. So what's the problem?"

"The problem, Steven, is that I can't have sex with Heather."

"Right."

When he didn't reply right away, she paused in her pacing. "Well?"

He frowned at her, shrugged a little. "Well, what?"

"Well, are you going to help me or not?!"

"Help with what? Seems like you have it figured all out," he said, easily, and had the audacity to laugh.

"Steve, I don't have words for this," she said, possibly too loudly, if his wince was anything to go by. "Look at the everything in here! Look! This is what we both grew up with! This-this--hyper-sexualized view of women, this obsession with sex as a goddamn plot device in every fucking movie! The fact that every relationship in every movie is about sex?! This is the media that raised me, Steve!"

"Okay. And?"

She gestured some kind of way that she hoped he understood.

He didn't. "Robin, I don't speak lesbian," he said, returning the gesture to her with more flailing than she really thought was really necessary. "Tell me what the actual problem is."

"I only have horny words, Steve," she said, and knew immediately that it was definitely too loud. "All I know is-is how to talk like these dumb, shitty movies, and speak in innuendo and words like--"

"Okay, okay, slow down a minute," Steve yelled, pushing back from the counter he'd been leaning on. Hands on hips, head tilted, brow furrowed, full-mom. "First, stop yelling. This is not a place for yelling. Second, slow down, good lord you're running your mouth like you're in a race. And third, I'm still very confused."

She sighed and dropped her chin to her chest as she took a deep breath. When she looked back up Steve was still watching her expectantly.

"I only have sexual words for non-sexual feelings," she said, slowly, because she was going to talk to him like he was an idiot if he was going to treat her like one of his children. "The way I learned to talk about relationships and romance and all that is from all this--this sex-obsessed trash that has been shoved down our throats all our lives. I can't--talk about this because I can't explain it because I don't have the words for it.

"I just want a girlfriend and maybe kisses and hugs and picnics and romance and fancy dates and movie nights," Robin said in a rush. She felt herself deflating with each word. "I just want Heather and I want her to understand and I have no idea how to say that to her. I don't know how to tell her I want her, when I don't want her.”

He was still watching her, still wearing that furrowed brow and narrowed eyes. And then turned away and… started digging through the trash.

"Hey, we're not finished here, asshole!"

"Just hold on, I have something that I think will help," he grumbled, waving another placating hand at her as he rifled through boxes. He let out a triumphant Ha! and turned back toward her, brandishing a square piece of cardboard. Instead of explaining, of course, he grabbed a marker and started scribbling away at the board in his hands.

"Steve, now isn't the time for arts and crafts!"

"Hold on, I'm almost done," grumbled, drawing a few more lines. And then her gave her a pleased grin and turned the board to face her.

She stared at the cardboard, trying to parse it out. Because she could read the words--despite Steve's godawful handwriting--she just didn't understand.

The board looked familiar, if just smaller and made of actual trash. It was divided into columns, one reading You Rule, and the other reading You Suck. And there was, for some reason, a tally already in the You Suck column.

"How does this help me?"

He pointed at her with the marker, eyebrows raised and judging. "You're being an idiot and talking yourself in circles and you need to stop."

"I am not!"

"You are! You literally just said everything you need to say to her, and you used none of those 'horny words' you talked about," Steve argued, tossing the sign down onto the countertop. "You're making a problem where there isn't one, because--"

"I am not!"

"Because you're scared she won't want you," Steve finished, raising his voice over what she was ashamed to admit was a loud screech. "Stop, okay? You've got the words, and you know you do. That isn't the problem."

"But that's not normal, Steve!" She fully meant to yell that time, because she needed him to understand. "Who looks at someone like Heather and doesn't want sex?! Who? I’m broken! Even if she wants me, she wouldn't want someone like--this!"

Steve sighed, shoulders drooping. "Okay, you remember that pamphlet thing you gave me?" he asked, leaning his elbows back on the counter. He gave her another of those earnest looks. "And the books and stuff?"

She nodded, impatiently. "Yeah, I remember. For your Big Bisexual Panic."

He rolled his eyes, but chuckled a little and it really wasn’t the time for that kind of flippancy, goddamn it. "Yep, those books. Did you read them?"

"Uh, no? I didn't need to," she said, shrugging. "Gay here. Hella gay. So incredibly gay, Steve. No panic about it needed. Gay."

He nodded. One of those eyes closed, lips pursed, faux casual kind of mocking nods that she hated. "Right, of course. So you know all about asexuality, right?"

She rolled her eyes at him. She shook her head, impatient and antsy. "No, Steve I don't."

"No? You sure? You know, asexuality? That one where people don't experience sexual attraction?" Steve asked, innocently. "That one?"

And Robin… didn't really have anything to say to that.

"I did tell you I read everything," he said, smartly, and drew another tally on the board. "But a smart cookie like yourself doesn't need books, right? Because you know everything?

"Robin, asexuality is a thing. And if it's something that I know about, it's a normal thing," he said, a little fiercer than before. "You don't want sex? Fine. How is that any weirder than you not wanting sex with men? I tell you: it's not. So if that's what's making you panic, shut it down now. Okay? Because that's bullshit."

She didn't trust herself to speak, so she just nodded again, helplessly.

"You're not broken, Robin. And if you even try and say you are, I will sic the entire party on you, don't think I won't," he threatened, pointing that damn marker at her again. "They read those books, too, so they could support me, so don't even think they won't support me on this, you got me?"

A small laugh bubbled up out of her--because she knew that to be true, at least--and she nodded.

"Robs, I promise, Heather will understand," Steve said, face softening into something a little less fierce. All concerned expression and gentle, supportive smile like; some kind of cartoon prince.

"How would you even know that?" she demanded, still clinging to the solid ground of being petulant and argumentative with him, like her entire world hadn't just been dropped on its head by a moron in an ugly polo.

He huffed a little laugh, shook his head at her in disappointment, and then nodded toward the door at her back. "Because she's been standing right behind you the whole time. And she doesn't look sad or angry, which is, I think, supposed to be a good sign."

And about fifteen seconds later, once he'd grown tired of her frozen panic--or her silence or her refusal to even turn around--he rolled his eyes and picked up the sign, drew another tick mark in the You Suck column, and tossed it at her feet. "Okay, while you're doing that, I'll be in back," he said, unimpressed. He waved at someone over her shoulder as he went, "Bye, Heather. Have fun. Always check your blindspot, Buckley."

"Thanks, Steve." There were hands on her shoulders, delicate and sun-darkened and firm as they pushed and pulled and tried to turn her around.

"Did I just get played," Robin asked, slowly, as she watched Steve's retreat, her cheeks growing warmer by the second, "by Steve The Hair Harrington?"

"Expertly."

"Am I ever--"

"Nope," Heather laughed, still trying to turn Robin around. "You think he won't tell Billy? You think I won't tell Billy? You will never live this down."

"Shit."

Another laugh, soft and happy and not--not mocking. "That about sums it up. C'mon, come here and let me hug you."

"But--"

"Nope, it's shut up time now," Heather said, voice still bright. "You said what you needed to say, and I heard it, and I accepted it, and I'm into it. Now, we hug."

Robin sighed and let herself be twisted around and pulled into Heather's arms. She was shocked, still, and more than a little shook up. She kind of wanted to cry, but she put her foot down on that option--she would not cry in Family Video, goddamn it.

She hid her face in Heather's neck, because she didn't think she could hold it together if she had to look the other girl in the eye.

Heather smelled like coconut and bubble gum and strawberries, and her arms were tight around Robin's shoulders. She tried to think about that, instead.

"You're a disaster, Robin Buckley," Heather muttered, rocking them gently. "But it's okay; I like that about you. One of us needs to be the girlfriend with her shit together, and I think that might be me."

Robin's heart stuttered in her chest. "Girlfriend?"

"Yep!" Heather said, brightly. "So, wanna get dinner?"

"Dinner?!"

"Everyone needs to eat," she said, and suddenly there was a hand in Robin's hair and nails gently scratching her scalp and it was perfect. “I’m thinking… pizza?”

“I just had my entire world fucked up and still managed to get a girlfriend, and you wanna think about pizza?!”

The shoulder she was hiding in shrugged, dislodging her. Heather was smiling, so big and wide that her little, button nose scrunched up--and goddamn it she was too cute

“So,” Heather said, smug like she could read Robin’s mind. “How about that pizza?”

“Are we gonna talk about this? About me?”

Heather nodded, smile turning soft and sweet, all the attention of those rich, chocolate brown eyes on Robin. She opened her mouth to say something when an annoying asshole interrupted her.

“If you need some help,” Steve began, and sounded far too smug for his own good, "I have some books you can borrow."

#ace fic #stranger things fanfiction #ace representation #asexuality #bucklway #asexual fic collection #asexual fic

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florrickandassociates · 4 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 4x07-- The Gang Discovers Who Killed Jeffrey Epstein

What a weird episode.

This episode is something else. The writers REALLY overestimated how much the audience (or at least the fandom) liked the pee tape and Melania divorce episodes if they thought this was a good idea.

My recollection of those episodes is that because everything was fake-but-real, the stakes wound up feeling lower and I stopped caring, and when I’m not on board with the plot, the surreal shit and the whimsy feel more annoying than innovative. This episode might fare slightly better in my opinion than the other two because of its central device (more on that later) but it’s (somehow!!!) even more audacious and wild than the episodes that came before. Not my favorite look for the show.

I DO like the tributes to musicians we’ve lost to COVID-19 that play over the credits.My one quibble is that they could’ve used a little card to inform viewers what’s going on and why. Last week I caught the artist in the captions but this week I missed it (or it wasn’t there), though I figured out pretty quickly it was John Prine.

Starting off an episode with Liz is always a good choice.

Liz and Marissa are, for reasons we’ll discover later, in New York and investigating Jeffrey Epstein’s “suicide.”

It drives me INSANE that Marissa consistently has the sound on her phone on. I think we’d know she was taking pictures without it.

Liz’s old boss, Wilbur Dincon, has tasked Liz to independently investigate what happened. If this case goes well, RBL will get more business from the DOJ.

I’m sorry, did you just say “S-H-U” instead of pronouncing it like “shoe”? I mean, I’m an expert on prisons because I watched Orange is the New Black so I know it should be said like “shoe.” (tbh i have no idea if one is more correct than the other)

This case has lots of details but it’s really only the thematic points that matter, so I likely won’t discuss any plot points… just what they’re going for.

Good to know Liz was ahead of the curve on knowing Epstein was a dangerous creep.

Liz is promised she can investigate anyone she wants and think outside the box. Sure. I believe this as much as I believe Diane is in charge of pro-bono stuff because STR Laurie has great intentions.

“Synergy” is such a great bullshit word. Has everyone ever said it for a reason other than the following three: (1) To mock the word synergy (2) as a euphemism for cost-cutting measures that will fuck over employees (3) because they think it sounds professional and want to cover up the fact they don’t know what they’re talking about?

In this case, “synergy” means that RBL needs to cut their payroll by 20%. Fun times.

Diane and Adrian (Liz is downstairs) are not happy about this, even when Mr. Firth reminds them it’s more money for them. They’d rather have less money personally but happier employees since they’re not soulless.

Mr. Firth says they have to do the layoffs. But if it’s any consolation, they get to hand pick who to lay off!

The dogs are still being walked through RBL, in case it wasn’t clear enough that STRL sucks.

The whole firm gets to work on sorting through the Epstein evidence. Liz tries to keep things organized-- murder evidence on one side, suicide evidence on the other.

Associates, however, immediately begin interpreting the word “evidence” loosely. Is there a photo of Epstein with someone they’d like to suspect of murder? Then it’s “evidence of murder”. Ok, Leah.

As expected, this immediately turns into bickering over politics. Sorry Liz-- it’s going to be tough to keep your staff on target with this one.

“No! No conspiracy theories. No insane charges. Everything we do, we need evidence, so let’s start here.” Ah, if only everyone could think like Liz.

The room focuses on evidence for about two minutes. Then they find a way to make it about conspiracies again. Go team!

Also everyone at RBL thinks they have better knowledge than professional medical examiners of the marks left on someone’s neck after they hang themselves. They also all believe that pretending to strangle themselves is the best way to prove their point. It’s a hilarious sight for Diane and Adrian to happen upon.

Adrian and Diane immediately start seeing their employees as numbers and imagining the cost savings of laying them off. Marissa is making $89,000 a year with three years of experience. Jay is making $89,000/year with eight years. Damn, that is so unfair to Jay. (I could see it if Marissa is more vocal about wanting higher pay or if they’re more concerned with losing her… but being vocal about money is probably closely related to Marissa’s privilege and there is zero evidence Marissa is any better, more efficient, or more hardworking than Jay!) I can’t remember how this plot ended last year, but I thought Jay ended up making more than Marissa after he complained?

Adrian seems to see Jay as the more disposable of the investigators, which is quite sad, especially since from what we see, Marissa and Jay seem to be equally skilled.

I wish we got to see the salaries, rather than just billable hours, of the other associates. But I’m glad they finally get last names!

Kevin Walker has been at the firm 7 years and has 2643 billable hours.

Diane imagines the red X over Marissa. I can’t tell if the Xs are to demonstrate who they think they should cut or just to show deliberations.

Lucca has been at the firm for 4 years and has 2788. Her title is “associate” but shouldn’t it be “Head of Family Law”?

Leah Davis has been at the firm for 3 years and has 2657 billable hours.

Jancie Muncy has been at the firm 11 years with 2456 hours; Micah Carroll has been there 5 with 2582 hours. John Danzette with 6 years and 2074 hours; Rosalyn Brock with 4 years and 1991 hours (we learn later she was on medical leave for part of the year). Josh Withers with 11 years and 2162. Linda Keller with 2 years and 2389; Mike Roberts with 3 years and 2147. So what I’m getting is that Lucca has the most billable hours of everyone?

I wish it told us their salaries. How much do the billable hours matter if we don’t know how much $ each hour is worth?

I really like this device. It’s a good way of showing how tough this decision is and how dehumanizing the process becomes.

Adrian jumps into the conversation and tries to convince everyone Epstein’s suicide isn’t a conspiracy-- it’s just incompetence. Apparently he has a sink that breaks every week and no plumber can fix it because they are all incompetent. I understand this analogy-- no one does their job perfectly 100% of the time-- but I am really concerned about Adrian’s sink. This sounds like a bigger issue than incompetence.

“People do just enough work to get by,” is a very true statement though. I have often thought that it’s kind of incredible the world is as functional as it is.

If you have 4 or 5 conveniently incompetent breakdowns at once, though, I’m not sure I believe it’s purely incompetence. Feels a bit convenient.

Diane jumps in and makes a case for why the conspiracy is also likely. This strikes me as counterproductive since what REALLY needs to happen here is for the associates to dig through the evidence. Why not go back to Liz’s original system where they look through the evidence and see where it leads them?

Lots of news footage and photographs in this one.

Diane’s larger point seems to tie back into Memo 618: “We all have to obey the law. I mean, if we’re told we have to check into with the police every 90 days, we do it. But certain people don’t have to. They’re given special treatment.” Diane claims this is America-- “a special fucking off-ramp for the well-connected.”

Isn’t it possible both are true? That there’s a lot of incompetence and also systems in place that protect the rich and powerful? Also none of this is evidence!!!

(I do like this scene for showing Adrian’s POV (cynical about human nature) vs Diane’s (fed up with the government and the treatment of the ultra wealthy). And the show can’t really dig into evidence they don’t actually possess. But evidence-free speeches don’t seem productive!)

Liz is like, okay then… and splits the room into three groups to look at evidence. I am glad Diane and Adrian helped her so much.

Liz is NOT happy about the layoffs when Diane and Adrian loop her in. She’s opposed to cutting anyone. Diane says she could lose Kevin, but Liz sees Kevin as someone newer employees look up to. Adrian suggests Lucy (who?) and Liz says that Lucy actually should get a raise. Diane points out this will look bad to the clients. All good points. This seems like an impossible decision.

Case stuff happens. Lucca knows a “hairdresser to the stars” through Bianca.

And now for some scenes where Diane and Julius try to report Memo 618 to the government and do the right thing! The Kings have said these were intended for episode 8, and while they don’t really feel that out of place since there’s clearly a thematic link between 618 and Epstein’s connections, this bit of info explains two things: (1) Why this ep is 53 minutes long when it feels like it could make its point in less time and (2) why the Julius stuff that happens later in the episode feels a bit anticlimactic because so much else is also happening. My guess is in an episode where it’s more of the focal point it would feel like a much bigger deal.

Do you ever just see a shot of Diane and think, “Damn, Taylor Swift does really look like a young Diane?” Because I do. All the time.

Lucca visits the famous hairdresser and he makes time for her right away. And he gives her a letter from Epstein that he (a) has in his possession and (b) has in an unlocked drawer in his salon. Whatever.

Lucca convinces him to let her have it, and RBL makes a video to establish chain of custody. I’m shocked we’ve never seen them do this before.

“It is Thursday, May 21st, 2020” Liz says. Nah. You’re in an office. It is not.

The envelope contains a key, a secret code, and a letter that says “If I’m dead, watch out for BUD”. Welp, there goes any hope of this not turning into RBL chasing conspiracies!

Rumors about layoffs (40%! Just paralegals! Everyone!) have spread, in case there wasn’t enough chaos.

The partners are indeed discussing who to fire, and they can’t decide on anyone. So they decide it’s time to get out from under STRL and buy themselves out. It’ll take 20 million, but they can pull that together.

This would play better if we knew why they decided to sell to STRL in the first place. Who WOULDN’T have seen this coming?

Liz tells Adrian not to make any promises he can’t keep and he is like, this is like our marriage. Diane is still in the room which is awkward and funny.

Marissa finds “BUD” on a blueprint. A clue! Meanwhile, Lucca and Jay (really, Jay) figure out the code.

This is the portion of the episode where I can leave the show playing on my phone and go check Twitter instead of writing any commentary.

Julius gets arrested for speaking out about Memo 618! It feels less impactful than it should when it’s sandwiched between a bunch of scenes following the conspiracy. (Also I am a little surprised they didn’t have Julius and Diane go to the press before the government.)

The conference room squabbles again and Liz asks, again, to tone down the conspiracy theories. They instead begin fighting about even more conspiracy theories.

Unless there’s another conference room scene later, I think this was the moment I understood what the Kings were doing and started to like the episode more. As soon as I realized “BUD” was a Citizen Kane reference, I burst out laughing. This episode plays way better when you know the point they’re trying to make is that this is a lot of fuss that will ultimately be futile (though Marissa and Jay DO come close to finding BUD) than when you’re supposed to be riveted by watching people debate fake evidence.

Why does Eli Gold have a cheerleader friend? Who knows! Who cares!

Adrian suggests that he, Diane, and Liz involve their own homes in the scheme to getting 20 million dollars. Liz objects since she’s a single mom-- very fair. Adrian argues that they’ve done well in the past so they’ll get it back. Liz and Diane attack that idea before I can-- if that were really true, they never would have sold to STRL.

Liz mentions losing ChumHum and the fallout from her dad’s scandal and then says “let us not forget why we joined STRL in the first place.” I feel like that line would work better if the “let us not forget…” came before the “we lost ChumHum”. Because we don’t actually KNOW why they joined STRL. And, as I said in a previous recap, I can roll with it for the sake of plot, but I can’t take lines like “let us not forget why we joined STRL” seriously when there was LITERALLY NO ON SCREEN DELIBERATION about it.

Adrian says STRL doesn’t value them, their employees, their history, or their culture. To which I say, DUH. Why would you think they did?

The only important thing about this cheerleader is that she’s played by the amazing Donna Lynne Champlin. Kind of sad she’s in this silly, non-recurring role. She’s so good. (Also she was totally on TGW playing a different role, shhhh). (Go watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, everyone!)

CONSPIRACY THEORIES! It’s another conference room scene. Maybe this is where I realized it was a Citizen Kane reference? But I think it was the earlier one.

Hey, it’s another Julius scene. Watching these and knowing they were meant for a different episode, I can’t help but notice that they do feel like pieces of the A plot of a different episode. The whole system is rigged, Julius and Diane realize.

Adrian, Liz, and Diane tell Mr. Firth they want out. Mr. Firth tells them they need to cobble together an impossible 80 million, not 20 million, because not all of the partners have been bringing in more revenue more than they used to. You see, Diane hasn’t been bringing in any money because she’s been in charge of the pro bono department. Ah.There’s the catch.

I’m shocked they went up to Mr. Firth without reading every inch of that contract. Aren’t you guys partners at a law firm? I’m shocked Diane went ahead with taking charge of pro bono without looking for a catch. This sucks for the character and all, but how are these name partners at a liberal firm that’s seen more than its fair share of drama this naive about big corporations!? This plot twist is devastating… until I start to think about all the things they had to believe to get to this point.

Still, it’s satisfying to hear Diane hiss “you fucker!” at Mr. Firth.

Mr. Firth turns into a villain quite nicely. I wonder if we’ll see more of him next year. My guess is the remaining three episodes were going to tie together the corporate overlords plot and Memo 618 and wrap everything up more or less with a bow so they could do a new concept next year. I feel like they’ll either move on completely and tell us what happened, or do an episode like 2x02 (the one that wraps up all the Maia/Rindell Fund stuff in one go so it doesn’t hang over s2).

Dincon drops by unexpectedly and isn’t impressed with what Liz and the team have done, since all they’ve done is collect conspiracy theories (and possibly travel all over the country? Jay and Marissa go to the Virgin Islands; it is unclear if the architect and key maker and lawyer and everyone else were in Chicago…

In Dincon’s defense these conspiracy theories sound like complete nonsense.

Dincon shuts the RBL team down, but Marissa and Jay are still off adventuring.

Diane asks Dincon what Memo 618 is because Epstein’s life was built on it. “Then you have your answer,” Dincon replies. This scene is another tell that those Julius scenes weren’t meant for 4x07.

Aaaaand now we get the direct parallels to Citizen Kane, with some shot-for-shot remakes and even a sled (ha!).

There’s a secret door! Marissa and Jay are excited to investigate! Marissa references Parasite, which I haven’t seen yet because I’m awful at watching movies.

Marissa and Jay find nothing and leave. “I think we lost track of the real story: the underage girls,” Marissa realizes. Yup. That is the takeaway. Looking at all these conspiracies is fun but useless, and the most important truth has already been uncovered.

After Marissa and Jay leave, we get to see what was in the secret room… BUD is Epstein’s penis. And… that’s a wrap on season 4? What a fucking weird way to end a season.

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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thecreaturecodex · 5 years ago

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Seawolf

Image © Wizards of the Coast, by Drew Baker. Accessed at the Stormwrack Image Gallery here

[The seawolf in the AD&D Monster Manual 2 comes in lesser and greater varieties, each with its own full entry (instead of just two statblocks with a single set of flavor text). It’s pretty egregiously padding, as the flavor text between the two is practically identical and copy-pasted from one to the other. 3.5 decided to keep the power level low for their seawolf--my version has the HD of the greater seawolf from AD&D]

Seawolf CR 6 NE Magical Beast This baleful creature looks like an enormous seal with the shaggy fanged maw of a wolf. Its eyes glow red.

The seawolf is a ravenous predator that combines the worst aspects of land and sea animals. Worse, they can take on the form of humanoids in order to lure ship’s crews to their doom. A typical seawolf hunt is begun by a small band of seawolves in humanoid form boarding a ship, seeking to steer it towards the rest of the waiting pack. Once in position, the lookouts are overwhelmed and murdered in order to clear the way for the pack to board and engage in an orgy of mayhem and violence. The ships are usually scuttled after the crew is slaughtered, but some are allowed to float free as bait, or are used by more ambitious seawolves to gather a new crew to murder and consume.

Seawolves rarely leave victims alive, but those that do escape them may be transformed into seawolves themselves. This helps to replenish their numbers—seawolves make for poor parents, and those children who cannot keep up with the pack are left to drown or die of exhaustion. A newly transformed seawolf escapes into the ocean if possible upon transforming, and its first victims are usually its traveling companions. A seawolf remembers only fragments of its life before the change, and may have a personality quirk or two carried over, but is essentially a different, crueler, person.

The natural form of a seawolf is that of a mighty seal with a wolf’s head, and it is this form they are most frequently found in. Their hybrid form is used primarily in combat with humanoids, as they enjoy the mobility it allows on land. Seawolves gather some treasure, usually in the form of magical weapons and armor to use when in a humanoid form. They are nomadic over a wide territory, and territorial clashes between rival packs are both frequent and bloody. Even when in humanoid form they are pure carnivores, and cannot stand the taste of grains or vegetables.

In its natural form, a seawolf is about twelve feet long. They stand between six and seven feet tall in their hybrid forms, and are typically tall for their apparent race when in humanoid guise.

Seawolf CR 6 XP 2,400 NE Large magical beast Init +5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +9, scent Defense AC 19, touch 10, flat-footed 18 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +9 natural) hp 67 (9d10+18) Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +8 DR 10/cold iron or silver; Resist cold 10 Offense Speed 20 ft., swim 60 ft. Melee bite +12 (2d6+6 plus bleed) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Special Attacks bleed (1d6), curse of the sea Statistics Str 18, Dex 13, Con 15, Int 11, Wis 16, Cha 14 Base Atk +9; CMB +14; CMD 25 Feats Blind-fight, Cleave, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Power Attack Skills Bluff +5, Climb +10,, Knowledge (geography) +3, Perception +9, Stealth +3 (+11 underwater), Swim +18; Racial Modifiers +8 Stealth when underwater Languages Aquan, Common SQ change shape (humanoid or hybrid, polymorph), hold breath, martial proficiency Ecology Environment cold and temperate oceans and coasts Organization solitary, family (2-3) or pack (4-16) Treasure standard (scimitar, leather armor, other treasure) Special Abilities Change Shape (Su) A seawolf has three forms. Its natural form is that of a Large wolf-headed seal, but it can take humanoid form or the form of a Medium hybrid creature with the head and claws of a wolf with webbed hands and feet. Its humanoid form is fixed—it cannot assume different humanoid forms. In hybrid form, it can make bite and claw attacks and fight with weapons, but its bite attack does not cause bleed. A seawolf can shift into any of its three alternate forms as a move action. Equipment does not meld with the new form between humanoid and hybrid forms, but does between either of those forms and its seawolf form. The statistics for a seawolf in hybrid form differ from its normal statistics as follows: AC 19, touch 11, flat-footed 18 (+1 Dex, +2 armor, +6 natural); Speed 30 ft., swim 20 ft.; Melee scimitar +13/+8 (1d6+4/18-20), claw +8 (1d4+2), bite +8 (1d6+2) or 2 claws +13 (1d4+4), bite +13 (1d6+4); Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.; Stealth +7 (+15 underwater) Curse of the Sea (Su) A creature reduced to negative hit points by the attacks of a seawolf must succeed a DC 16 Fortitude save or be cursed to turn into a seawolf at midnight of the next new moon. A creature so cursed can have the curse removed as normal before that time, but once transformed can only be restored to its original form by a wish or miracle spell. A seawolf created in this way loses access to all class abilities of its original form and gains the ability scores of a seawolf. It remembers its original life only dimly, but its humanoid form is recognizably the same as it was before, albeit with a feral cast. The save DC is Charisma based. Martial Proficiency (Ex) A seawolf is proficient in light armor, simple and martial weapons.

#seawolf #shapeshifter #D&D #pathfinder 1e #chimera

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jadekitty777 · 5 years ago

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An Older Brother’s Solemn Duty

So, this story honestly started out as a joke between me and a friend a few weeks ago when Ironqrow showed signs of possibly becoming canon. I brought up the thought of the two actually hooking up and what Taiyang would do if he found out and my conclusion was basically “he’d tease the hell out of Qrow”. This is that idea, expanded and more heartfelt, but also with a hearty dash of my brand of comedy.

I decided to write out the scenario into an actual ficlet as a gift for @lacependragon as a thank you to you for posting back up some of my favorite fics of yours at my request. I apologize it wasn’t finished sooner; I wanted it done by Monday but well. Life has not been particularly kind to me this week. Still, I hope you enjoy it.

Word Count: 2,900

Rating: M, for some suggestive language

Summary: During a mission briefing, Taiyang begins to suspect something is up with Qrow when he starts acting oddly out of character. He quickly discovers the reason behind it lies with the mission coordinator himself: James Ironwood.

Pairings: Ironqrow and mentions of past STR-Crossed

Ao3 Link: An Older Brother’s Solemn Duty

“Well this is…rustic.” Was Winter’s comment as Tai ushered everyone into the room. His daughter’s team, Team JNR, CFVY and SSSN, Oscar, Qrow, Ironwood and his many trusted operatives from Atlas including Penny, as well as Glynda, Bart and Pete all filed in.

“I do appreciate the accommodations Taiyang, but I was hoping we’d have a holograph at least.” James spoke up as everyone took a seat. The crowd was larger than his normal class size, so while most found desks to sit at, a few of them were stuck standing in the back.

“I have a projector from thirty years ago, if you have slides.” He waved towards the old, bulky gadget sitting atop one of the counters. It was old enough the plastic was discoloring where the device got hot, more of a sickly yellow than the beige it had been.

“Pass!” Yang voted.

“Miss Xiao Long, another outburst will earn you a detention.” Tai said in his best teacher voice. He caught her sticking her tongue out at him as he turned back to James. He waved to the rectangular box of whiteboard supplies he always kept on his desk. “If you prefer, I also have markers in fun colors.”

The uncomfortable look on the other man’s face was priceless. “I… suppose that will do.”

“Oh!” Penny zipped to their side. “Allow me, sir! It would be my pleasure to draw up the diagrams.”

James straightened up, more assured now. “Yes that would be helpful.”

She eagerly picked up the box, “Oh they are fun!” and got right to work at an inhuman speed.

Tai marveled at it. Her writing was robotically neat, easy and clear to read. The drawings were equally fantastic. “Any chance I can hire her as a TA?”

“I’m afraid allowing you to take one of my finest soldiers is out of the question. But I’d be happy to look into donating for updated supplies.” He probably meant it too!

“Certainly wouldn’t be unwelcome.” He pat his shoulder. “Floor’s yours, General.”

“Thank you.” James turned to the room, getting into his authoritative pose, shoulders straight and hands behind his back. “As you are all well aware, we’ve gathered here today to discuss our plan of attack on clearing out the Grimm at Beacon.”

As the man continued, Taiyang headed to the back of the classroom, making Ruby giggle when he ruffled her hair as he passed by. He joined Qrow in the back, sharing a smile with him. It was nice having his family back home, plus the small troop of friends they’d bought along. Many were using the guest rooms and living room floor for bed space and their excitable presence tended to liven up the nights. Though, he knew all of it was only temporary. He tried not to dwell on that bit, instead listening to the drone of James’ voice as he debriefed them on the operation.

“Once we’ve gotten in range, Qrow I’d like you to use your reconnaissance skills to scope out the Grimm species and get a rough estimate of their numbers. The most critical entry points are here, here and here.” James was drawing X’s on those spots. “Once you’re able to do so, reconvene with Taiyang here and report back to us-”

“Wait.” Qrow spoke up drawing the General up short. “Just Tai?”

He looked back at them. “Well, yes. Is that an issue?”

Curious as well, Tai glanced at his brother-in-law.

He appeared rather out of sorts, as if he were one of his students who had suddenly been called on to answer a question on the board but hadn’t studied the material. “Don’t you think we’re a little shorthanded?”

“Your teamwork has always been outstanding. And as you’re taking the West Entry which is notably much narrower, more bodies will only encumber you both. However, if you feel uncertain, I could have Clover-”

“Uh no, nevermind.” Qrow interjected hastily. “You can keep going.”

James eyeballed him, raising an eyebrow, but if he had another comment, he didn’t broach it, instead turning back to the board. “Now, Team JNR, I’d like you to-”

Subtle as he could, Tai lent over, whispering, “Everything alright?”

It was strange. Qrow had never put up a protest about them working together before. They’d been partnered at Beacon for maiden’s sake. Even odder was his request for more back-up. There weren’t many people the other man felt comfortable working alongside, too stressed his semblance would do something unforetold to them. The more people, the more potential injuries and causalities he’d end up feeling responsible for – whether they truly were his fault or not.

Tai knew he got a pass because his own semblance, the ability to create barriers, meant he could literally protect himself at a moment’s notice.

Or well, normally he got a pass.

But, whatever was going on in Qrow’s head, it seemed he wasn’t up to sharing as he shrugged it off. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He frowned, but decided to drop it for now. Maybe he’d get him to open up about it at dinner.

The rest of the conference went off without a hitch and James finally dismissed them all roughly an hour and a half later. As the majority of the room cleared out, Tai caught snatches of conversation.

“So, you guys going to show us around?” Sun was opening the door with his tail, waving Yang and Ruby and their friends out like a gentleman.

“Tell me there’s a decent clothing store around here.” The leader of CFVY was mumbling as she got up from her seat to follow her team.

“Tai!” Bart’s voice caught his attention, the historian waving at him. “Perhaps we can get together tonight?”

He held up a hand in response. “Yeah sure! Come by around 8.” He headed to the front of the room.

James was talking with some of his troops. “Clover, you and Penny do one last calibrations check on the airships. I want to make absolutely certain that everything is in working order.”

“Of course sir. We’ll make sure nothing is missed.” He replied with a salute.

Taiyang studied the younger man curiously, remembering he’d been the one James had mentioned pairing them up with. He was in his early to mid-thirties, had short military-trimmed hair and an eye-catching smile. Certainly attractive. One look at his attire and he could clearly see why he might irk Qrow though. The four-leaf clover medallion was bad enough, but a rabbit’s foot and a horseshoe on his belt? He had to be awfully superstitious.

Clover caught him staring, winking in his direction.

Flirty too. He could get behind that. Tai offered as coy a smile as he dared before the other man departed.

He knew Qrow had caught it, because he heard him snort. He elbowed him in the ribs.

Ignoring the grunt behind him, he said, “Your operatives sure are interesting James.”

“That’s one word for them.” He offered the red marker back. “I apologize for having to use your classroom on such short notice.”

“It’s fine.” Tai replied, dropping it back in the box with the rest of the rainbow. Now where was the eraser? “Really, this whole thing is amazing. The restoration effort, getting back the school? It feels like we’re finally putting the world back together again.”

“Wouldn’t go that far. It’s just one small piece.” Qrow said as he leaned against his desk.

James sighed, running a hand over his beard. “There is certainly much work left to do. Haven. Mantle. But Vale needs its Huntsmen training again. And the kingdom needs its-”

“‘Beacon’ back?” Tai interrupted unabashedly.

It actually earned him a chuckle.

As well as a groan from Qrow. “Don’t laugh. You only make the puns stronger.”

“You just don’t want to admit they’ve groan on you.”

Qrow’s retaliation was to throw the nearest thing in reach at him. That was how he finally found the eraser.

James was laughing more in earnest now, which was even more surprising. Even off-duty, the General rarely was so openly expressive. Not that it was a bad thing; Tai had been saying for years how he needed to cut loose and relax more. He wondered what had changed.

“Hey, why don’t you join us for dinner tonight?” Tai suggested as he turned to the board. “And don’t do that ‘I don’t want to impose’ nonsense, because I already have a miniature army at my house.”

“The offer’s appreciated, but I do need to oversee some last-minute preparations for tomorrow.” He paused, then added cheekily, “And I don’t want to impose.”

Jokes too? He was getting tempted to pinch himself and check that he was really awake.

“Don’t make me throw this at you next.” He waved the eraser threateningly.

James held up a hand pacifyingly. “I apologize, maybe another time.” His eyes darted to the other man. “Though, Qrow, if you can swing by my ship, I’d like to go over your part of the mission more thoroughly with you. I should have some time around 6?”

“I can do that. But, you still need to eat Jimmy.” Qrow pointed out, his heel tapping rhythmically on the floor.

“As a matter fact, I have plans to have a nice bird tonight.”

Tai froze in the middle of wiping away the dust cartridge checklist. Wait… did he hear that right?

The tapping had stopped. “I suppose that’s good enough.”

“Excellent.” He straightened his cufflinks, saying, “Well then, I really should be going then. Gentleman.” With a tip of his head, James walked out the door, leaving only two.

Tai stared at where he had retreated. Then, deliberately slow, he pivoted towards Qrow, staring at him intensely.

“W-What?”

He lent towards him. His brother-in-law immediately shifted back.

“What!?”

He grinned in the absolutely most shit-eating way he could and said, “He’s having ‘bird’, hm?”

Qrow’s eyes widened, the shade that rose to his cheeks almost matching his eyes. “It-It’s not what you think!”

Oh, and he was actually flustered? Tai knew he had to be in deep on this one. And as the self-appointed older brother, there was only one thing to do with such a sensitive situation.

“Oh? My mistake I suppose.” He pulled back, fishing out his scroll.

Qrow watched him suspiciously. “What are you doing?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing.” He shrugged, struggling hard to contain his smile. “Just texting James about how he can best prepare that bird of his.”

The look of horror that crossed Qrow’s face had him absolutely losing it. “TAI DON’T YOU DARE!”

Tai danced backwards as he came diving for it, holding his scroll up in the air, tapping a button. “Annnd send!” The second tackle got him, and the device was quickly wrested from his grasp.

“What did you tell him?!” Qrow practically shoved the screen into his face, his panic quickly morphing to confusion, then annoyance. “This isn’t James.”

Tai folded his arms under his head, smug as can be. “Not this time. And if you don’t want it to be next time, then you better spill it bud.”

“Have I ever told you how much I hate you?” He glared at him over the top of the scroll.

“Once or twice – Ack!” The scroll was dropped on his face as Qrow climbed back to his feet. He offered him a hand up too, so Tai knew he wasn’t actually too mad.

Getting Qrow to start talking was always a chore; but once he did, it was like breaking open a dam. Not a lot of people knew he was a chatterbox. Then again, not a lot of people took the time to get to know him well enough to learn the things he was passionate about. The first time Tai discovered Qrow could say more than six words during a conversation was when the Grimm Reaper came up one boring afternoon. It was like a flip had switched and suddenly he was recounting tales of all her old adventures, proudly showing off Harbinger as he detailed out how he mimicked her kamas, and sharing his crackpot theories about how she was actually still alive.

So to see him in a similar state of reverence, and over James Ironwood of all people, was very telling indeed.

Some time later found Qrow sat atop of Tai’s desk, finishing up the story about how the Atlas Celebratory Ball went, his gaze distant. “I couldn’t handle being around all the alcohol so I stepped out for some air. James followed after me and we talked a bit. Then he asked me to dance, right there on the balcony.”

Tai was directly across from him, sitting on one of the students’ desks. “Did you accept?”

“’Course I did, you think I’m a fool?”

A fool in love. Tai thought privately. “And? How was it?”

“It was fine.” He said with a shrug, like it hadn’t mattered. But the way he refused to meet his eyes gave him away completely.

He lent forward, raising a brow, “It was the most magical thing to have ever happened to you, wasn’t it?”

“C-Come on man, don’t say it like that!” Qrow was going bright red once more, turning away and covering his mouth to hide the grin forming there. “But, maybe.”

He laughed softly. “Knew it.” He hit the back of his heel against one of the desk legs. “This why you were so eager to have someone else on our team tomorrow? Were you hoping he’d get the hint and come along?”

This time, he looked a little guilty. “Yeah. Guess I owe you an apology for doing that back during third year.”

He remembered that – Qrow had actually gotten a little ticked off at him when he’d been constantly volunteering to work with one of the girls’ on homework, pair up on missions, seek them out during lunch hour or do whatever other half-baked idea he could come up with to spend more time with them. Since he’d been spacing it out so equally between Raven and Summer, his rather insecure best friend had taken it completely the wrong way, assuming he’d finally gotten tired of him and was purposely trying to create distance between them. Hand completely forced, Tai eventually had to admit to Qrow that he was crushing on both his sister and their leader (and was kind of freaking out about it).

While Qrow accepted this fact and even promised to keep it secret, he also spent the next few weeks see-sawing between calling him ridiculous and teasing him at every available avenue. Tai never held grudge over it but he did warn him that one day, he’d know what it was like too.

Seems that day finally came.

“Got to say, I’m a little heartbroken.” Tai placed a dramatic hand on his chest. “Suddenly I’m not enough for you?”

Qrow’s legs were long enough he could easily kick his knee. “Come off it.” He settled back on his hands, eyes trailing the floor now. “Honestly, I thought I’d feel the opposite way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I figured if I ever felt this strongly about someone else, I’d want them to be as far away from me as possible. Instead, I can barely wait to see him. It’s idiotic.”

Oh, wow. Tai regarded his best friend a long, quiet moment, joy filling him. “That’s what it’s like. Even if you could see a disaster coming, it doesn’t matter. Because being with them makes every second you do have worth it.”

Qrow arched a brow, asking knowingly, “Was that for Summer or Raven?”

“Both. I wouldn’t trade those days away for anything. Neither should you.” He slipped off the desk to step forward. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really happy for you.”

“What, why?”

Unable to help it, he hooked his arm around his neck and yanked him forward, giving him a brutal noogie. “Because my lil’ bro is all grown up! Sober and falling in love! I’m so proud.”

“Ah! Ack! Stop it!” Qrow squawked as he squirmed in his grasp. “And I’m older than you!”

“Still the little brother.” He let him go, barely feeling the retaliatory punch in the arm. “I mean it though. It’s nice, seeing you this happy.”

“You make it sound like I never am.”

“No but, I always wished it was more frequent.”

“Oh. …Sorry.”

Tai shook his head, saying firmly. “Not something to apologize for. Though, if James is something that invokes such a feeling, he’s a keeper.”

Qrow looked away, that little lovesick smile back. “Yeah, I think he is too.”

Brothers, he was tempted to hug him. So, he did. Qrow took it as awkwardly as always.

“Come on.” Tai said, resisting the urge to swing him around in his own enthusiasm. “We better head home before everyone wonders if we’re having a secret affair.”

“You wish you could get some with an ass as nice as mine.” He joked right back, pulling away.

He leaned to the side, being as exaggerated as possible. “You have an ass?”

“Jimmy sure thinks so.” Qrow wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Tai just laughed shoving him towards the door. If he played his cards right, he just might be able to hear some of those stories too.

#taiyang xiao long #qrow branwen #james ironwood #ironqrow #rwby #fanfiction #Chase Firekitten's Tale

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d-other-i · 4 years ago

Text

10.30 pm – 12/08/17 – Day 01

The bus set out from Bangalore, a slight delay, thanks to which I was able to grab some food! In about 14 hours, the bus would take me far away from the original intended destination.

A coffee never hurt, especially when stuck without a plan!!!

7am – 13/08/17 – Day 02

The morning found me staring into the countryside, its overcast gray skies, and the semi barren fields in against the rust red of the iron ore on the road! Hampi was still 2 hours away. What started as a trip to Gandikota in AP, was inching towards Hampi in North Karnataka!

The previous two days had gone by in a blur! With no plan, and no tickets to Kurnool, last minute changes had to be done to ensure that there atleast was a trip! The only other place that I could think of then was Hampi! Good thing I already had tickets to Bangalore! All that was left was to find a ticket to Hampi from Bangalore and from Hampi to Chennai! A colleague (now, wife) helped with the bus planning and booking a stop-over stay at Bangalore!

After almost an entire day of roaming, a café in Bangalore gave enough time to Google up Hampi and possible places of stay there! A few phone calls later, one place asked me to call them again on reaching! Wondering if the plans would materialize, strolled around Bangalore a little bit more, met some friends, and finally when it was time, boarded the bus to Hampi! The one persistent thought however, was what If there was no accommodation?! It was after-all a long weekend!

A gust of wind ensured I was back, staring at the overcast skies, the broken down trucks along the highway and the oodles of rust on the road. After a lengthy detour post Ballari, the bus ambled into the dusty little town of Hospet! Hampi is 16 km from here! Found a couple who were also headed the same way, grabbed an auto to share charges and off we went!

Dropping them off at their shack, I went about looking for the contact I had spoken to! Funny thing, with the mountains and boulders all around, there was very little network. Finding the place was a task, but thankfully, the temple town isn’t too large and finally, reached the homestay.

A small but a neat place, it was located very close to the Virupaksha temple.

** To those who plan to visit Hampi, there are basically 3 options for accommodation. Those that plan to do the trip by their own vehicles can stay at Hospet, or at Kamalapur (close to Hampi). The other two options are to stay at the temple town itself in its few homestays, or stay at Virupapur Gaddi, across the river! Those that stay at Hampi should be aware that the food available would be completely vegetarian fare since it is a temple town! The hippie town on the other bank however is for those with a palate for a wider spectrum of food, although the last coracle/boat is at 6 pm, after which the only other way is a 30 odd km detour! **

The family that ran the place were warm, and although the room they had planned to accommodate me in wasn’t empty till later that day, they found a temporary room for me on the first floor! The terrace had an amazing view, of the Virupaksha temple on one side, the Mathanga hill on the other side with the distant Tugabhadra river gurgling away in the distance! It was indeed blissful to spend time under the overcast skies on the terrace, with the multiple temples and halls on the Hemkuta hills for company!

View of the Hemakuta hills

The main road into Hampi

Mathanga hill from the guesthouse!

Freshened up, and having some nice toast with butter and jam for breakfast! I set out into the temple town! The first spot was the famous Virupaksha temple. Unlike many other temples in Hampi, the Virupaksha temple is still active, and the pujas are conducted here. One interesting aspect of the temple is the “pin-hole” camera effect, where a small hole on the wall inside a small room within the temple makes it act as a pin hole camera, forming a perfect inverted image of the main gopuram on the opposite wall.

Virupaksha Temple

Origin of Hampi:

The name Hampi is evolved from Pampa, the ancient name of the river Tungabhadra. Also Pampa is the daughter of Brahma, the Creator God. She was a devoted worshiper of Shiva, the God of Destruction. Impressed by her dedication Shiva offered her a boon and she opted to marry him! The place thus came to be known as Pampakshetra (land of Pampa) and Shiva as Pampapathi (consort of Pampa).

The Hemakuta Hill in Hampi is the place, according to the myth, Shiva did his penance before marrying Pampa. Kama , the God of Love, felt sympathy for Pampa for her love towards Shiva. He disturbed Shiva from his deep meditation. That attracted Shiva’s wrath. Known for his anger, Shiva burned Kama with his third (fiery) eye. Rathi, Goddess of Passion and also Kama’s consort pleaded for mercy with Shiva. Shiva grants Kama’s life back, but only as a character and not as a physical being.

On Shiva’s marriage with Pampa Gods from the heaven showered gold on the place. This hill in Hampi is called Heamakuta, literally means heap of gold.

All these places have immense religious significance for the Hindus in south India, especially the devotees of Lord Shiva. In the beginning Pampa was a local folk deity. Through the concept of a marriage with Shiva, goddess Pampa is associated into the pantheon of the Hindu gods.

The places mentioned here has a continuous religious history ever since known timeframe. It just happened that the Vijayanagara Empire came in-between and gone as an episode in Hampi’s long history. Even today the annual ceremonial marriage festival & the betrothal are important festivals in Hampi. With time, Shiva became more popular here as Virupaksha. Virupaksha, an incarnation of Shiva, literally means the one with oblique eye. This refers to the fact that Shiva has three eyes. The third fire eye on his forehead opens when he do the destruction.

As a tourist you can visit Virupaksha Temple (the main functioning temple in Hampi), Hemakuta hill (with about 40 temples concentrated on it), Pampa Sarovar (where Pampa did penance) and of course the river Tungabadhra.

Kishkinda Episode: A popular folklore associates the landscape in Hampi with the Hindu epic Ramayana. The monkey kingdom, Kishkinda, is portrayed as the region around Hampi. Anjayaneya Hill, located across the river Tungabhadra, is believed to be the birth place of Hanuman.

For the Prahlada episode see the Story of Narasimha. You’ll find this man-lion incarnation of Lord Vishnu icon at many sites in Hampi including the Vittala Temple and Lakshmi Narasimha Temple .

The curiously named, Bhima’s Gateway located on the way to Vittala Temple from Kamalapura has a beautiful panel of Keechaka episode that happened during the exile of Pandava’s. On the left is the image of Draupathi tying up her hair after Bhima slayed Duhsasana. Right image portrays Bhima killing Keechaka.

Below is the panel of Bhima with a flower bud describing the Saugandhika flower episode

In Hampi you’ll find this theme of adolescent Krishna stealing cloths of cowherd girls (Krishna on the tree with Gopis pleading with their hands folded in reverence). There is one pillar with this theme carved on one of the the slender pillars of the Kadalekalu Ganesha and another beautiful one at the Pattabhirama Temple, though a damaged due to vandalism.

Those finally end up in Hampi invariably wonder how on earth such a landscape got created! Well, you have two choices to find a solace: one in geology and the other in mythology. (Source: Hampi.in)

Ambling through the ancient temple, one cannot help but wonder how many generations of men and women this place must have borne, the amount of prayers heard, right from the greedy selfish ones to the most selfless of prayers when the Vijayanagar Empire was attacked by the Sultanate rulers. But, despite all odds, the temple still stands, a mute testimony to the will power of the humans that ensured that at least some of the grandeur was not lost to the elements of time. The vast temple, led to an equally majestic tank on the side of the river.

Manmatha Tank

The temple is the center of activity in Hampi. While the road spread out on the South towards Kamalapur and onward to the highway linking it to Bangalore, the North side towards the Tungabhadra river is full of an assortment of homestays, restaurants and shops for various trinkets! Whether they are authentic, is anybody’s guess! A little walk from the temple leads to the ghats along the River, boats, both powered and hand paddled take one across for a small fare!

Tungabhadra river

To the South and the east of the Virupaksha temple are some of the more important ruins (did not have enough time to try explore the western side!). On the south, are the famous Hemakuta hills, and the large mandapams on the hills. Two major spots on these hills are the Kadalekalu Ganesa and a little further, the Sasivekalu Ganesa!

Kadalekalu Ganesha

Entrance to Kadalekalu Ganesha Temple

Other structures on the Hemakuta Hill

View to the temple town from the Hemakuta Hill

The town is completely dotted with the ruins of the ancient Vijayanagar empire, so much so that it is hard not to see the remnants of the past! One cannot help but wonder how magnificent the city would have been in its heyday, if it can evoke such an awe when most of the city is in ruins!

Bang opposite the Virupaksha temple, is a large open space now used as makeshift stalls and car parking! There, are a series of a colonnaded ruins extending almost a kilometer to the east! These are called the bazaar street, and housed the markets related to the temple activities in the past! They were also said to have housed the residences of the nobles of the era!

View of the Virupaksha temple from the end of the bazaar street

A portion of the ruins of the bazaar!

View of the Virupaksha temple from the end of the bazaar street

Way to Nandi Mandapa

The far end of the bazaar street has a grand staircase with a large mandapa! The mandapa houses a massive Nandi which overlooks the entire bazaar and onward to the Lord Shiva!

Nandi Mandapa

Beyond the Nandi Mandapa lies a small trail that leads to the little less frequented, but very imposing ruins of the Achyutaraya Temple!!

Way to Achyutaraya Temple

Achyutadevaraya, who came to power succeeding his elder brother Krishnadevaraya built this temple in 1529. The presiding deity was Lord Thiruvengalanatha, a form of Vishnu! (Source: Karnataka State Website!)

First glimpse of the Achyutaraya temple

The temple, located at the Southern end of the grand Courtesan Street is a sight to behold from up the Matanga Hill from where one gets to appreciate the massive scale of the street and the beauty of the temple from an unconventional viewing angle! The temple, although in ruins does make one wonder about the glorious past!

Inner Courtyard

Carved colonnades around the temple court!

Sculptures in the mandapas!

Almost 300 years on, the glory still remains!

View of the Matanga Hill temple from Achyutaraya temple!

View of the gopuram!

What remains of a glorious past!

Walking out of the main gopuram of the Achyutaraya temple, one encounters a rather massive open area with large pillared platforms on either side. This is the Courtesan Street. (The temple is accessed via this large pathway, with the trail through the Nandi mandapa being the alternate route!)

In the peak of its time, the place was a thriving market of gems, pearls, ivory etc. For some reason, this place was called the Sule Bazaar (The Prostitute’s Market). About 500m long and 50m wide, the market was once thronged by merchants far and wide. (Source: http://www.Hampi.in )

Courtesan’s Street

The Courtesan’s Street, at its Northern end meets the Kampa Bhupa’s path (the riverside path. Source: hampi.in), along the Tungabhadra river. There are the Varahaswami temple and the Ranganatha swamy temple nearby.

A small trail from near the Achyutharaya temple leads up the Matanga hill on the Eastern side. There is another path on the Western side as well. The western route seems to be used more often. While the easter side is doable, there are a lot of overgrowth due to minimal movement!

Walking along the outer couryard of the Achyutaraya temple, I met up with a fellow backpacker who was also doing a solo trip to Hampi. We decided to explore the places together from there on! Next up, was Mathanga Hill!

A view of the Achyutaraya temple from above!

Way to Matanga Hill!

A view of Achyutara temple and the Courtesan’s Street from Matanga Hill

Hampi from above!

View of the Virupaksha Temple from Matanga Hill!

Matanga Hill is one of the holy places described in the Ramayana! It is said to be the place where Sage Matanga was, and had given protection to Sugreeva, the King of Kishkinta! There is a Veeerabhadra temple atop the hill!

Although it was close to dusk, we dint quite wait for the sunset, although we were at the right spot, since it was quite hazy, and we had to visit the Vithala temple next! Getting down from the Mathanga Hill from the western side, we made our way back up along the Nandi mandapa, and then on to the Courtesan’s Street to get to the river path towards the Vithala Temple!

View from the Mathanga hill showing the Courtesan Street, the Pushkarni (right side) and the path leading to the Vithala temple from the Varahaswami temple!

Way to Vithala Temple

Along the rocky path that leads to the Vithala temple, are a series of boulders that form a natural cave!

It is said that one of these caves were used by Sugreeva, the King of Kishkinta. It is also said that he used this place to hide the jewels which Sita dropped when she was abducted by Ravana and that Surgeeva met with Lord Rama and Lakshmana near these caves! A number of footprints seen on the floor of these caves are said to be that of Lord Rama and Lakshmana!

Sugreeva s Caves

A short walk from here is the Vithala temple. The King’s balance and the Purandaradasa mandapam are enroute!

Vithala Temple

The Vittala Temple, is one of the most iconic structures of Hampe, made even more famous by the induction of the Stone Chariot in the Rs 50 currency note! The presiding deity of the temple is Vittala, a form of Lord Vishnu. This form of the Lord was worshipped here as the main deity of the cattle herds!

Built in the 15th Century, the templs has grand hallways and a large pavilions and temples, besides the afore mentioned stone chariot! Outside the temple, are a series of colonnaded structure, the Vittala market place and the ruins of an ancient Shiva temple. The temple itself opens out into a kilometer long passageway, probably large enough for Chariots. There are remnants of a large tank along this passageway!

Entering the temple from the Eastern gateway, one is greeted by the Stone Chariot. This chariot is rumoured to have had the stone wheels rotating about its axis! The Chariot houses the shrine for Garuda, the vaahana for Lord Vishnu!

Stone chariot! Note the rear wheel, where the gap between the axle and the hub is more on the bottom than on the top, indicating that the wheel was indeed free to rotate about the axle! It is also believed that the structure was painted with natural/mineral dyes!

Unfortunately for us, the temple was very crowded, thanks to the Independence day weekend, and the day being a Sunday! Unlike the Achyutaraya temple, we could not have the Vittala temple for ourselves! Greedy, indeed!

A smaller mandapa within the Vittala Temple complex!

A little beyond the Chariot is the main building, the Maha mandapa! Ornately carved, the building is famous for its Musical Pillars! These are small series of stone pillars carved out of a monolithic block! Each of these smaller pillars when tapped emit a specific musical note! This stands testimony to the fine Architectural skills of the craftsmen and at the same time, the level of understand and the cohesion of arts that was possibly prevalant at the time!

Ornately carved columns, depicting the mythical creature, YAAZHI. The sculptures of this creature is found across south India, with similarfeatures, making one wonder if they actually existed!

Intricate stone carving stands testimony to the craftsmanship of the time!

The details along the roof, deft and intricate!

View of the gopuram from within the complex!

Rear side of the temple complex

With the crowd being on the higher side, we decided to leave earlier that planned. We also decided, we would try and make it to the Vittala temple again the next morning!

We headed back out to Hampi along the same river bank route!

The view of the Sugreeva cave from the Narasimha Temple complex

A short detour later, we were at the Virupaksha temple, parting ways deciding to rent bicyles for the next day’s trip! A sumptuous meal at Mango Tree (highly recommended!) done, I settled down at the home stay!

The Tungabhadra river bank along the way…

Parting shot for the day.. Virupaksha temple, in the lights!

A tiring day done, I wound up at the new room! Not the view the earlier one had, but I wasn’t complaining! Having walked miles upon miles, sleep took over in no time……

A view of the Achyutaraya temple from above!

Where Gods Walked…….. (2) 10.30 pm – 12/08/17 – Day 01 The bus set out from Bangalore, a slight delay, thanks to which I was able to grab some food!

#Architecture #backpack #culture #landscape #nature #photo blog #travel #travelogue

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