#so its like. idk nostalgic in a way. if something that happened in january can be nostalgic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sarah-blue-eyes · 4 years ago

Text

2020 In Review

Hoo boy, here we go.

[Ok just before I begin. I had this queued to post in the first month of January but it doesn’t seem like that ever happened haha. Better late than never I suppose!]

So I am a nostalgic bitch, and since 2011, have loved to make memory boxes for each year, where I put trinkets and memories into a shoebox. This year I have continued that tradition, but I have also kept track of my happy memories throughout 2020 in my planner. This was done with the intention for me to upload a year-in-review sort of thing in hopes that maybe like, 3 people max on this god-forsaken site will read it. This sort of reminiscence was inspired by my friend @a-lbeit, who has done these for a few years now and me, as a slut for nostalgia, was encouraged to do the same back in January (I think? What even is my memory at this point?)

2020, as it has been for many, was a very shit year, and I am no different. I would safely say that this year has undeniably been the worst I have lived through. But I am here. I am present. And I have made it through some of the darkest times to face 2021 with a new sense of hopefulness. Keeping track of my happier memories has been something that has truly got me through this clusterfuck of a year, so I am glad that I can finally go through them all again and share them with you.

Read it, or don’t, I don’t give a shit what you do with your time, but if you do, I hope that you aren’t bored to tears. And I hope to keep myself accountable to continue to do this for years to come.

Buckle up, grab a hot drink and a snack and get comfy, because this is a JOURNEY.

January:

· Kicked the new year off with hosting a 1920’s themed party with some of my closest friends at my family home at the beach. Had fun with drunk SingStar, playing What Do You Meme, creating a playlist with everyone’s top 3 songs of the decade (it was a bangin’ playlist I must say), and just overall drinking too much and having a riotous time

· I remember going to the beach New Year’s Day (as is tradition in Australia) and playing ultimate frisbee in the shallows and completing a crossword puzzle on the sand (I am a 75-year-old woman, it is just a fact of life)

· I also had my friend Kirsten from South Australia stay with me for the New Year’s period and it was lovely to have a guest over! I haven’t spoken to her much this year, she sort of fell off the face of the planet, but I hope she is doing ok.

· Went town to Torquay (a beach town in Victoria) for the 6th time for Beach Mission, which is essentially a holiday program for kids in preschool-year 9 where we run activities for them. It’s a Christian-based program but the aim isn’t to convert the kids or anything like that, it’s more to show God’s love to them through our actions and how we as Christians live our lives. It’s also a convenient way for parents to dish their kids off for a few hours too haha. This was my final year of being a part of this program, and I am so pleased to have made so many memories and (hopefully) impacted many children’s lives during my time there

· I remember going on a late-night beach walk with my boyfriend Josh, talking about what the year had in store for us. We were just sitting on the beach, as you do, and I saw a shooting star. I can’t remember what I wished for (if anything) but in that moment, life was a dream.

· The week after beach mission I started at my new internship! It was for a place called KidsCo, who run school holiday programs at workplaces, so parents don’t need to take time off work to look after them. I helped with client relations and a lot of behind-the scenes stuff. I really loved it there

· On the very first day of my internship I remember there was torrential rain, and the train home was delayed by like, an hour or so lol

· One of the best parts about interning at KidsCo was that they were the official child-minding service for the Australian Open. I make an effort to go each year, but I was lucky enough to get free ground-entry for me and a guest for the duration of the event. I went quite a few times and got to take my mum and Josh along as well.

· Saw my only concert of the year, The Veronicas, at the Australian Open. When I say the moment the violin riff at the start of Untouched absolutely went the fuck off is an understatement. Grade 5 me would have cried (and 23 year old me did a little bit too tbh.) Yet another of one of my “all-time-favourite-songs” that I’ve had the pleasure of hearing live. (I also went through the year feeling sad that this was the first time in 11 years I hadn’t gone to a concert, but this one certainly fell through the cracks)

· Started planning my trip to the UK to see my twin sister, and best friend, Jess

· Went away to Rye for the Australia Day weekend #changethedate. An excellent time with excellent mates, and went to the beach pretty much every day and got mindlessly sloshed every night

· Listened to the Triple J Hottest 100. I think 4 of my picks made it in, which was pretty good

· Continued my job as the office manager/events coordinator at my church

February:

Basketball started back after the summer break for my two different teams, The Vikings and The Wildcats (honestly such a highlight of this year with how the rest of it ended up going)

As a team-bonding activity at KidsCo we hired a boat for a few hours and I got more drunk that I had been for a while. It was a very fun time jetting down the Yarra, waving drunkedly at the people jogging by

For Valentine’s day Josh and I had an indoor picnic with our favourite food! The weather was shit for Feb, hence the indoor nature of the picnic

Saw Shrek the Musical with two of my closest pals, Bec and Katie (I honestly forgot that this happened in 2020 hahaha) but it was ICONIC

Had a Jackbox night with The Boys

Had my cousin Amy from England over for dinner! I hadn’t seen her in 5 or 6 years, so it was so lovely to connect again like no time had passed at all

Went to Healesville Sanctuary, a lovely conservation park which focuses on preserving and educating its visitors about Australian animals, with Amy

Went to mini-golf for a friend’s birthday on the leap day. He technically celebrated his 6th birthday which was excellent

Saw Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with Bec and Katie

Finished working at the church office to make room for the potential job opportunity at KidsCo

March:

Ahhh March, you shitstorm of a month. This is where everything started going downhill.

The first thing of note that happened this month was me injuring my ankle at basketball, which had me out of action for a few weeks. It was especially bad because I was nearing the end of my internship and was hoping to do my best work so that I would be chosen to stay on as an employee, but had to take a week or so off to rest my ankle. My ankle would continue to be tender and sore for most of the rest of the year

Went away for the Labour Day long weekend with the family

Finished up my internship at KidsCo. Honestly was lead to believe that I would be staying on as an employee and felt sort of betrayed after all the work I did for them, but whatever

Had a party at Bec’s house to listen to Triple J’s Hottest 100 of the Decade. One of my favourite songs was number 1 which was a pleasant surprise

Went down to the holiday house for a few days just to have so me time and sort myself out

Animal Crossing New Horizons came out haha. Honestly was one of the highlights of this year though. I stayed up until midnight so I could download it as soon as it was available because that’s the sort of person I am

Mum’s birthday dinner with Dani, one of my best friends, and her girlfriend Amy

Went for a hike at Sugarloaf Reservoir with Josh and got spooked by a mob of kangaroos

April:

My mental health started really taking a downward spiral this month for multiple reasons which I won’t get into here, but this is more a note to my past self to say that it will all be ok I guess? Idk I just felt like this needed to be here

Did my ankle badly again on Good Friday

Watched the Overwatch League live with my friends and just memed in the livechat lmao

WARNING - this is a bit TMI but I am going to share anyway since it was a big part of this year, and if you are reading this you are either a stranger or a good friend so I really don’t care lmao: This month I also started to get bad pains in my uterus, like, not period pains but deep, stabbing pains. This continued on for the next few weeks without me doing anything about it, except for increasingly getting stressed about it, although I will talk a bit more about this later.

Josh and I celebrated our 6th year together which was ~wholesome~

Called my friend Ashley from the US and just caught up. It was nice to see her face again. She is a good egg. I haven’t talked to her since but I really hope she’s ok.

May:

Watched Star Wars with Josh and his family for “May the 4th”

Started a volunteer job at Kivuli, a non-for-prophet that is based in Kenya, and started helping out with their website and social media stuff

Zoom movie time with my friends, we watched How To Train Your Dragon I think? Athough everyone was talking over the movie so I didn’t really get anything out of it

Played Scattergories (one of my favourite games) with Bec and Jess on zoom and just wrote really stupid and funny answers and I remember this being just what I needed

Went for a long walk with mum and one of her friends and her daughter on a track we don’t usually go on, which was a nice change of scenery

Went down to the holiday house for the first time in forever since restrictions were eased, at least for a little while lol, with the fam

Went to Portsea for a walk along the beach with Bec and her husband Trevor

Did an online trivia night that night with a big bunch of friends

Had a doctor’s appointment to see what was goin’ on down there. Honestly freaked that it could be something REALLY bad. Got booked in to have an ultrasound the next week, so at least I’d be finding out what was wrong soon.

The day after I got my results was the 21st of May, the day my mum and I were meant to be flying out to the UK to see my sister and her boyfriend. It was already hard enough a month or so before when I had to cancel my flight, but this day was so SO difficult. I can’t remember the last time I cried so hard. I am so blessed to have a boyfriend like Josh though. He was by my side the whole day, and held me as I cried. Oh man I am crying as I write this now, it was such a hard time but I know I will see my sister again.

And then the day after THAT whole ordeal was my birthday, which was meant to be spent in London with Jess but it turned out to be the first birthday we’ve had apart. This day was also hard, but made better by being with loved ones and having dinner at my grandma and grandpa’s house. Grandma’s roast potatoes make everything better.

Went to Geelong to see the other side of my family, it was so good to see my nan again. I love her very much.

Went to the Briars with Bec and went on a lovely nature walk and saw a lot of little wallabies and even an emu

Had an ultrasound and my pain turned out to be a 10cm wide cyst!!! So fun!!!!! Thank the heavens it wasn’t a child. I was so relieved. It is still in my body so that’s cute tho.

June:

Applied for a bunch of jobs, and even got a few interviews! Still no job.

The absolute highlight of this month, and maybe even the whole year, was going away to Lake’s Entrance and Yarram with mum, dad and Josh. It was so good to go to the country, I love country towns so much and the wildlife and nature is so beautiful in the eastern part of Victoria. If you ever get the opportunity I recommend going there!

We ate so much nice food and just relaxed. It wasn’t a perfect replacement for not going to Europe, but it was something at least.

Did more work for Kivuli which kept me busy

Went to Bec’s house to bake a cake. She came out to me as bi this day too, and the cake was coloured like the bisexual flag!

Started a short course through the university I went to in Facebook for Business. It was a great way to build up my skills.

Played Animal Crossing with Dani’s little sister, Tami, a very wholesome time

Looked after Josh’s dog Jed while his family went away for the weekend (also went into the start of July) and was honestly the greatest time

July:

Halfway through the year. Thank fuck.

Had another job interview

Went on lots of walks

Was just generally cold

Did a lot of cleaning

Painted the downstairs rooms at church, which took a few days and a lot of back pain, but it’s cool to think that I was able to contribute my energy and time to something while I was not feeling good at all

The restrictions were tightened again, meaning that I couldn’t go further than 5kms away from my house, except to see Josh, so this was a really lonely time for me.

Really got into Masterchef with mum this season. They had all returning contestants from other seasons so that was really fun to watch.

Got and assembled a new couch upstairs that I can say I actually own myself. I absolutely love it.

More walks, despite the cold

This was a very uneventful month, but that’s ok!

August:

Had a call with the hospital I’ll be having my cyst surgery with. It was good to know that things would be started. I had to have a blood test and a second ultrasound then put on the waiting list for surgery. Still no sign on when that will be happening though 6 months later. Just so lucky to live in Australia where all of these appointments are free.

Went for a really nice long walk with Josh. Got shat on by a bird.

Did lots of stuff around the house, just tidying and watering the plants and sorting through my wardrobe to purge all the clothes I grew out of

Had an online Switch games night with some friends which was fun. We played Smash Bros. and Mario Kart and just had a great time!

Ok this sounds super lame but my favourite podcast, The Jenna & Julien Podcast, finished forever which came as a surprise and was just really sad. I really hope it comes back one day.

Did my tax return lmao

Baked rice puff/marshmallow bar things

Made an ASOS order to fill my happiness with material things. Did get some cute clothes and lingerie tho 😉

More games with Bec and Jess, we played Golf With Your Friends this time

Had a cocktail night with Josh, where we just made a bunch of fun cocktails and got drunk. I can’t wait to live with him so we can do this all the time.

Lots of Kivuli work, as we are planning for our 10th anniversary fundraising event

September:

Baked cookies, which was something I did a lot at the start of lockdown but sort of drifted away from. I absolutely love to bake.

Started working for Media-Wize, a small PR company that was started by someone I know at church.

Started playing Among Us at the start of the month

So many Among Us nights omg, just call me queen impostor please

Did my induction for Media-Wize

Got n e r v o u s because I kept getting things wrong in my new job. I always seem to fuck up the good things and opportunities that I get

Did a livestream reading of The Great Gatsby on my friend’s Twitch stream. It was really fun and something I had never done before. I voiced Tom Buchannan, which was interesting but cool to sort of get into the character. I hope to do something like this soon.

I burnt my hair while cooking dinner and had to give myself a haircut lmao. It was the first time since 2018 that I had cut it so it was a long time coming anyway.

So much Media-Wize work. It felt good to finally be getting paid to do a job

Got locked out of my bathroom so I had to climb up the laundry chute to unlock it from the inside, all because a fly outsmarted me (it’s a long story… and honestly best told by speaking it)

October:

Had the Kivuli 10th anniversary livestream. Lots of work went into it and it was so much fun! It’s incredible that a non-for-profit that has benefitted so many children and families is still going strong. Such a blessing to see.

Dad’s birthday, and we had a picnic with grandma and grandpa and saw them for the first time since lockdown was somewhat lifted

Walked to Beasley’s nursery with Josh and got a coffee. This was the first proper, not McCafe coffee I had had in months and it was SO good

Played Animal Crossing with Dani

More Among Us, a theme for the last few months of 2020

Watched the AFL Grand Final. Wasn’t super exciting this year tbh, especially since we couldn’t have a BBQ or party or anything, but hopefully next year will be different

Nearly moved out of home with a friend of a friend, but since I didn’t have a job, didn’t think it would be a wise decision. Would’ve been nice though

Did some more Media-Wize work. I haven’t been given anything to do since this time though, so I don’t know what’s going on with that? They really be ghosting me tho.

Applied for JobSeeker so I would at least be getting a little income

New Jackbox came out, and had a games night with The Boys playing all the new games

Voted in the local election

Went to Westerfold’s Park with Josh for a lovely long walk

Played lots of The Sims 4 (but tbh I have been doing this all year)

November:

This month things sort of started to turn around, as Covid wasn’t hitting my state hardly at all, so I was actually able to see family and friends again!

Went to my old primary school with Dani and played basketball and just shot around and talked. She also came over for dinner. It was so nice, and she is a true friend.

Had a picnic at the park at the top of the street with my dad’s side of the family, all together at last

Melbourne Cup Day, not that I really care but it’s nice to get a day off. Went on a day trip to the Dandenong mountain range. It was so, so nice and bought some lovely little things from local shops, went for a bushwalk and had a bakery lunch

Went to the park to throw the frisbee and kick the footy around with Josh and his friends, although they are my friends too tbh

Had a picnic with a group of friends that I hadn’t seen since January, so it was so, so good to catch up with them and have a delicious BBQ dinner

My favourite online comedy group, Aunty Donna’s Netflix series came out! Had a virtual watch party with a few friends and binge watched it all in one go

Had lunch with grandma. This used to be a weekly occurrence but for obvious reasons was put off for this year. I absolutely adore her and every lunch we spend together is so precious to me

Went to Kyneton with some of the family as another day trip

Christmas shopping time again. So weird to be at the shops and feel sort of normal? I went 4 different times in the span of a week and a half haha

Josh’s birthday! We went to this maze place with has a bunch of big mazes and other fun activities. It was such a perfect day. Then we had dinner with his family.

Got a letter from the IRS saying that I needed to provide them with proof of identity, so that was fun trying to sort that out. We love the outdated US tax system <3

Went to a bridal shower for my friend Katie

Went for another hike with Josh to the mountains

Drove down to Geelong for a friend’s wedding and stayed at my nan’s house

Had a pub dinner and Jackbox night while down in Geelong with The Boys

A good friend of mine was leaving to live in Japan for two years, so I went to her house one last time to say goodbye and chill in her pool and just hang out

God why is it so hard to get a job?

December:

Omg we have made it to December. It truly is a miracle with how this year went tbh. And if you have read this far, thank you but also, how little of a life do you have?

Went to my friend Katie’s wedding. Sort of surreal to go to a wedding during a pandemic but it was fun and I got to see a lot of friends I hadn’t seen in a while

Enjoyed the hot weather and went to the beach a number of times with a variety of friends

Went Christmas shopping, and just shopping in general since it was safe to and shops had finally opened again

Got a job at a talent agency where you get gigs as a paid extra in TV shows and movies, which was pretty cool! I even had a professional photoshoot to get headshots done, something that I had never done before. Glad that I could get some pictures to use on LinkedIn though haha. Still haven’t been cast in anything but here’s hoping.

Had dinner and drinks with Josh, Bec and Trev in the city for the first time since it reopened. God I love Melbourne so much. It is just so magical on balmy summer nights. This was such a special evening, and was so good just to be in the city again

Had a lovely day with Dani, starting with breakfast and then going on a hike before the weather got too hot. We went to Sherbrooke Forest, a place I hadn’t been before, and it was incredibly beautiful

Had a number of job interviews this month too, none of which got back to me which was annoying :/

Now it was heading into the time where every weekend is packed with Christmas do’s so I’ll just collate them in this point. Lots of drinks were consumed and many delicious roast dinners

Had our annual Christmas Carol’s service at church. It was a blessing to be back in the building for the first time since March, and to be able to do something I love (singing) with some of my best friends was the best

Christmas eve I went to my grandma and grandpa’s house (on dad’s side) to help them set up for Christmas lunch. Spending time together just the three of us is so special, and I am so glad I was able to come over and just chat and be in their loving presence. Then that night I went to our 11pm church service to bring in Christmas day. It was a great service and was great to see our kick-ass minister give a sermon face-to-face.

Ok here we go, Christmas was a doozy, let’s go. So Christmas lunch was, as I said, with my dad’s side of the family, which is always a great time. Cracking open crackers and fighting over who’ll get the bottle opener or nail clippers is always a highlight haha. But we had the fucking best roast potatoes I swear. I need to know what my grandma puts into them because I could genuinely eat 20 of them and still have space. Then the rest of the afternoon was spent in a food coma until I went to Josh’s house to spend dinner with his family. Another delicious meal and great banter was what I needed, although I can safely say that I put on at least 5 additional kilos after that day.

The next day the fam and I headed to Geelong to see my mum’s side of the family. Was a great drive down and I listened to all of The Avalanches new album which had just released. Easily the greatest album of the yeah hands-down. So we spent lunch there and absolutely stuffed ourselves with more food. Three Christmas meals really took a toll on me, but I am just blessed as it is to have a loving family and food on the table.

The next day dad, Josh and I headed to the beach to spend that weird time between Christmas and New Year’s. To get there we took the ferry that goes from Queenscliff to Portsea, which is always a fun time, since we don’t often go from one side of the bay to the other (if you don’t know the geography of Victoria I apologise lmao). Mum didn’t come with us as she had some symptoms of Covid, so went home to isolate and get tested. Thankfully she tested negative and she joined us the next day.

Once I got back home I had to prepare the house for my friend Jono who was visiting for new years from SA. Many last-minute chores and cleaning was done haha.

New Years Eve! Went to pick up Jono and my other friend Sarah from the airport and dropped Sarah off at her accommodation and ended up staying there with Jono for a while as this was where the New Year’s party was going to be. Although, in true Victorian fashion, our premier announced that there was going to be a limit of 15 visitors at any house from 5pm that night. Excellent. We love a last-minute change of plans. So we had lunch and spent the afternoon at my friend’s house before heading to a local park to chuck the frisbee and kick the footy around. We also had our second annual NYE trivia competition, which my team lost by 1 point!! Dang I get so competitive, but we will win next year, I can feel it. The new year came through uneventfully, we were in the middle of a game of Scattergories or something like that when someone changed the channel on the TV to see the Sydney fireworks across the screen and like, 4 second left of the countdown. I gave Josh a bog ol’ smooch and gave my friends a big hug. We had done it. 2020 was defeated.

Conclusion (damn this really be an essay tho)

This year was undeniably the hardest year I had ever been through. Going through unemployment for the majority of the year and having no sense of purpose hit me hard but I am entering 2021 with the hope and willingness to get on track with my career. And I think I will be successful. A lot of truly awful things happened around the world this year as well, with the devastating bushfires at the start of the year, the powerful BLM protests, Coronavirus absolutely destroying lives and many, many other global events but through it all, here we are. I hope you all keep well this year and that your 2021 is infinitely better than your 2020.

Song of the Year: Tangerine – Glass Animals

Album of the Year: We Will Always Love You – The Avalanches (I CANNOT stress this enough, but you absolutely must listen to this album!)

TV Show of the Year: The Mandalorian - Season 2

Movie of the Year: Bombshell (the only movie I saw at the cinemas so didn’t have much to go with)

Memory of the Year: Going away with my family and just enjoying time away with each other

Thank you for reading this, if you’ve made it this far, you’re a real one <3

#me #2020 #2020inreview #nostalgia #anactualnovel #iapologise

5 notes · View notes

funniestsimpalive · 5 years ago

Text

(2/2) how his development was gonna take place, I just enjoyed that shit like anything else, yeah the other arcs have their own thing, their top moments, but to me this arc explain just right after we knew the basic concepts of hunters and how the hunter world work, this wow is completely 10/10 like making sense, I then felt what I still feel now that I obviously finished the series and have read tons about it, I was like, Gon, is much more like an utopic personality, he’s light, he’s like something you would wish... To become, but killua, man, killua is somehow like everyone has ever felt in their lives, killua is much more realistic, and that’s beaaaaaautiful, really is, but Gon, gon is like the aim, the purpose, the completely good personified.

Idk, I love this dinamic of this two, and had a hard time deciding which one was my favorite, but I was like officially my favorite is Gon, but I would definitely not watch the show without killua, idk killua remind me of like an old me like a me who ‘suffered’ and killua before meeting gon was hopeless just living to anything happening surrounding him, I remember a video when it’s said that good people have clear purpose on their lives. That they guide others to their own paths, and daaaaamn I was like bitch I want to become like a Gon, I wanna be so much much muuuuuch more like a good 100% good person who always makes everybody like damn good people really do exist huhh, and well I like Gon bitch you are just a drawing but I 🥺 feel something. But obviously you can see how killua who had hard times sees Gon, and it’s just pleasing to watch, what do you want me to say, their dinamic just flooooows idk like you don’t have to do absolutely anything to them, like meant to be that way, they go around so easily so perfectly, specially for killua, and damn I love him too, I say again he’s real, completely realistic coherent character. Just idk anime or at least Shōnen series have this much energy, hopeful and like life lessons worth to like admire, I understand why people tattoo characters and epic moments trully give like a power up, cheers and like happy memories idk how to speak my mind, but well my first thoughts of HxH are funny to me now that I know more about the series,

Before January I well I thought about hope like everyday of my life cause I’ve been struggling about some many though things that happen to me before from like one year and a half ago, anime really really makes me more hopeful about life, about trying your best, about trying being better everyday, naruto really made me feel better when all I wanted to do was being in my room alone not wanting to talk to anybody you know, idk I totally get why people tattoo this meaningful things like anything else you could get tattooed, I definitely understand more a anime tattoo than just a normal drawing, than a quote, there’s really deep meaning and like a complete behind story about how someone can get these characters to become better, to have hope, to not giving up, to try their best and it’s great and it’s +100 respect hahah you know?? And the most crazy things is that, this feeling about a character can be shared!!!!! Like someone else can get to know you about knowing what characters your are the most into, and it’s not like a band or an artist, cause it’s diffffferent like you can separate the artist and their art, idk a character is more like a manageable thing, moldeable like really can represent any aspect about anyone, and doesn’t have to be real, that’s why it’s so pure and unique, the artist or the band not at all imo, as I said with gon, a character gives like power ups cause its fictional, it’s meant to represent what it is, its utopic. It’s trully great and well you know. Finally, I finished hunter x hunter on April 15th, and I remember I had a hard time like understanding it was over, I only had manga to read (and I haven’t I don’t want to get to a point where there’s literally nothing else to know) but well, I saw and read and idk did many many many things about the anime right after I finished it (I made a promise to myself not to look anything about like I did with naruto cause I knew then I wouldn’t finish the series) so I was walking my dog looking at the grass, with my brother playing soccer next to me, and thinking just that midnight I finished the series, while listening to the ost, and well I’ve been rewatching many parts of the series, the Zoldyck mini arc almost the most I’ve rewatched, exactly 3 (completely)times hahaha that if without exceeding the uncountable times I watched the scene of Killua, going full Godspeed to gon, and screaming his name till there was nothing else to do about Gon‘s wrath against pitou.

Hmmm nothing else to say, I do feel kinda nostalgic and sad, gon and killua pfff great anime, think about it daily, love it and rewatch it almost everyday idk If someday I am gonna be over it, i love what it has taught me just nothing else to say but that. ⭐️-_-💧

#hunter x hunter #hunter x 2011 #weebshit #killua hxh #anime #gon x killua #hunter x 1999 #killua hunter x hunter #beauty #gon freccs #crazyslot

10 notes · View notes

brokenhayatim · 4 years ago

Text

the projectionist

[now playing: the projectionist & north by sleeping at last]

this has been a long time coming but i couldn’t put my words to paper screen.

when hands are tied and clocks are ticking an audience convinced: we’re leaning in holding our breath again

i can’t wait to go back to my place. i used to say that a lot, not out of spite or rudeness but because i genuinely couldn’t wait to be back to my own calm. its hit me now how i’ll no longer have that. and i wish i could feel finally sad or even say i’m still overwhelmed and confused, but it’s this sense of somber longing i guess. longing to keep something so good and somber at the reality that i just..won’t have that soon. i began calling this place home years ago and not because of the state (please, i would’ve anywhere but this state if not for the people i’ve met here) but because it’s my home. i more than just studied here, i built a fresh start, a life here. and i feel like i won’t have that again. is this what people feel like when they move out of their home of like 14 years that they raised 4 children and adopted 3 dogs in. it’s more tough than i thought, you know. every lease i’ve signed (shaking bc commitment may i add) i’ve always know i would be here the next, even though not in the same place and living with the same people, i’d still be here. i get emotional and nostalgic thinking of my former places every time i move, and i still think back to my first. i remember moments so vividly and what the apartment looked like from every square inch. but this is different. i moved an entire state away, essentially to be alone, and i love it. i love that i don’t depend on people for the simple things and less for the difficult things. i love that i have a routine. i like that i come home and i’m alone (roommates, i know, but it’s different). i go to the grocery store alone, i’ve learned the way and i’ve walked. i like that i could walk to target and walgreens, because i’ve learned the way. i like that i don’t have to depend on driving especially, i take a few ubers but even then, i’m comfortable doing that. something new york asiya would never have been. i go for mri’s alone. i walk to uni alone and back (except when i take the bus bc gurl i would sweat). i go the airport and fly alone, something i’ve loved. don’t get me wrong i love my siblings and miss them dearly but that’s what visits are for, and we have those every few months. no one has also came to visit me except my sister twice, and would i really want them too..i don’t know. **to expand on that first time at a later date** but now my brain is like ‘come. see the life i’ve made for myself. i want to show you all i’ve built’.

we'll tell our stories on these walls. every year, measure how tall and just like a work of art we'll tell our stories on these walls

i’m not ready for so many unknowns. where will i live soon? how many jobs will i have to apply for and which ones? even simplest things like where will i do my laundry? i’ve babbled about this but i’m so incredibly grateful for the apartments that i’ve had with amenities. my sisters are always shocked to know how i live at such a small price, but student housing [chef’s kiss]. but things like central ac and in home laundry, i’ve never thought of that, but new york i’ll have to. i’ll probs have to buy my room ac and walk for laundry if i live in the city. i can’t imagine i’d get a graphic design job or something similar anywhere near where i live, so the city i shall be. how far will i have to go to the store? what may happen on the way? i’ve sometimes worried about walking to the store here, mostly when they have kidnappers on the loose, but i always feel more safe than not. i walk 20/30 mins to target and walgreens on foot on the side of the main road and i’ve taken public transportation too. story on that, i told my first roommate how to get to the store from the bus and she was terrified so i went with her and she was like ...i can’t do this alone, i’ll just call a car. would new york asiya have done that too? probably not. because florida me is more independent (idk if bold or courageous is the word) and probs just a little crazy. ubers also are way more expensive in new york, just to add on that. i’ve taken the subway and train alone in new york and have walked blocks alone around nyu and parks. i know new york well, where i live and a bit of the city, but it’s not the same. my dream would be like keeping what i have here and copy and pasting it into the state of new york. i’ve always been and felt like a new yorker here, not once a floridian. i definitely don’t even do that school pride thing, some people actually never knew where i went to college. new york is also home for me, but it’s like my baby home. sometimes i think i was genuinely crazy coming here alone and not even knowing anything about the state nor ever seeing the university. but it was the best thing. i’m always depressed, yes, and i hate people, yes. but despite all of me being a constant emotional tragedy, i really love what i have here. it’s my own. i’ve become that person that tells you directions or tells you where to get what where. and now i’ll have to go back to someone that has to ask 89 questions and gets lost 14 times. ah, but if only i was rich and i could have it all.

so we’re leaving, we’re leaving our shadows behind us now we’re leaving, we’re leaving it all behind for now

i can’t wait to go back to my place. i’ll no longer have a home to run off to for months when i don’t feel right. i’ve actually booked flights earlier than i and my family planned/expected just to jet sometimes. i always come back with my suitcase(s) and feel at home walking into my place. i know, inshallah, i’ll have that again in new york or wherever i am, but i HATE CHANGE. its such a big shift that i’m like..can we do baby steps?? i haven’t even been avoiding it for months, i’ve genuinely forgotten until like march when i had to decide on graduation stuff. and now i’ve opened my suitcase and feel like i’m doing my my clothes wrong by putting them in a suitcase to travel a state away and not a few streets. my 3 apartments have essentially been in between two streets, you see one, turn right and drive down, there’s another, turn left and then another left, drive down the road and there’s my current one, which is about two minutes from the first if you drive up a little down. it’s legit a square..but irrelevant. i know i can always come back to visit, but it won’t be the same. my social interaction meter already runs out in like 24 hours as it is then i need to come back home, imagine if i have to stay at someone’s house for like 3 days, lord. i don’t really know if it’s leaving that’s unsettling or going back knowing i won’t be fully alone from people that know me.

(not so) tangent I: i always daydreamed of traveling to another state and getting a place there. my friend is thinking of coming from germany to practice dentistry here and we could find a place together. i know moving half way across the world for someone seems like a terrible idea, and i’ve lowkey done that coming here between states, but almost seven years of adoring each other’s existence makes you mushy and a little crazy. i feel like i’ll be awkward living with friends bc i’m such a loner, but who knows. the only thing getting her through these months of her final year in dentistry school is this idea and we’ve said inshallah every other week basically so inshallah, if it’s best for us. wild also that i knew her before she even started uni, way before she started dentistry school, like damn i hadn’t realized it’s been that long.

ACTUAL tangent part II: late 2020/2021 was gonna be my planned travel year. rose was gonna have her dentistry school graduation in february so i was gonna go with more bouquets than my hands could hold. but before that i really wanted to see noor in like late december/january (shoutout to her getting her license i will never not be proud. am i smiling right now typing this? yes). i would find a way to not die in one of those taxis for this surprise, wait outside in the rain (if the sky allows) and play a neighbourhood song outside her window with my iphone that would get water damage and die, then i would sing it (i memorized the lyrics on the flight over, duh). point is, i wanted to see her first and also in one of the least hottest months bc although i would die for her, i’m not going out from heat stroke. thank you miss covid-19, i must postpone that to 2041. i would say i could move to dubai, but i love wearing black and not like..oh yeah..dying. with germany, (ironically enough where my cousin and i were gonna go, me for uni) i can barely speak english let alone learn another language. i wouldn’t subject anyone to murica so alternative options are encouraged. anyways, it’s like the virus knew i was an absolute loser. and it’s as if i have a bug to just keep hopping on planes to avoid having to deal with myself for more than twelve minutes. additional tangent, sometimes i think about how i’ve known noor for five years and like four of those years, we’ve spoken like every day..like how the hell do we do this??? we’ve exhausted every topic humanly possible and still find something new. imagine if we met and it was just [crickets] jhfghfg. i would say we share a braincell and she has it, but i feel like she has five at least. i always have the same tangent topic that literally should just be it’s own solo post..ANYWAYS.

let the years we're here be kind, be kind let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide settle our bones like wood over time, over time

i’m gonna continue this later bc the tangent sent my mind in a whole different direction ,, what are thoughts

#imagine how many typos this house #will update at later emo date #and yes my suitcase is open and no i have not packed anything #asiya's thoughts

0 notes

karrahkshatria · 5 years ago

Text

Get Closer With Me

Hi guys! I was supposed to work on my articles today but I ended up procrastinating the whole day. Is there such thing as a productive procrastination? I guess, this must be a great example of such.

Quarantine has made me think of some worthwhile activities, including this. The other day, I found myself looking through my cabinet and discovered a bunch of nostalgic things. It made me realize how simple life was way before. Indeed, life is a never ending cycle of going through changes. Sure, we can never turn back time but at least, we have these things that would help us reminisce our past moments.

I also remembered a note I published on my Facebook wall way back 2011. I got to scan and copy its content here and figured I could compare my perspective 9 years ago to present time.

So here it is! It’s a bit long but if you have time, just take time. Hahaha!

NAME: Karrah Kshatria B. Seronay

AGE: 27

BIRTHDATE: January 27, 1993

PRESENT ADDRESS: Butuan City

WHAT WAS YOUR:

2011

1. last beverage = too big.

2. last phone call = from my mother, dugay na to.

3. last text message = quote man to. gm actually.

4. last song you listened to = Papa Amerikano haha

5. last time you cried = feb 2011 burial sa akong lola.

2020

1. last beverage = water,still O_O

2. last phone call = from an unknown number. Food Panda. haha

3. last text message = BPI OTP O_O but if from a person, Innah – we text whatever we like to tell each other. hahaha

4. last song you listened to = haha how jeje was Papa Amerikano before? Last night, parents were in the mood to listen to old songs. From what I remember, it was Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

5. last time you cried = I think weeks ago, when I was watching a KDRAMA. Haha. If I remember it right, it was Ep 13 of I’m Not A Robot. Hands up, fellow Kdrama fans?!

HAVE YOU EVER:

2011

6. dated someone twice = no

7. been cheated on = no

8. kissed someone & regretted it = wala

9. lost someone special = idk

10. been depressed = YAH

11. been drunk and threw up = nope!

2020

6. dated someone twice = no, not ever

7. been cheated on = No. And I hope it will not happen.

8. kissed someone & regretted it = Nope, never had a first kiss…

9. lost someone special = Yes! If lost is defined as walking away from your life. Or if lost means death, still the same answer as my grandparents were also special.

10. been depressed = Yes. We all deal with hard times in our lives but what’s most important is how we get up from those and the people who were there to support us.

11. been drunk and threw up = still, no coz I don’t drink. It’s a personal and my doctor’s choice. So, I can always get away with it. haha! But I throw up on a normal basis before when I was sick. O_O Is that valid? Haha!

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

2011

12. Sky Blue

13. Purple

14. White

2020

12. Sky Blue

13. Pink- the only thing that changed. Haha. Girly naka ghorl?!

14. White

LAST YEAR (2010/2019), HAVE YOU:

2011

15. Made a new friend = YEAH!

16. Fallen out of love = NO

17. Laughed until you cried = YEAH YEAH

18. Met someone who changed you = maybe

19. Found out who your true friends were = YE

20. Found out someone was talking about you = I can't remember

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yeah! my family.

2020

15. Made a new friend = Yes! Shoutout to my new friends! :)

16. Fallen out of love = No

17. Laughed until you cried = Yes, the last time was with my laughing buddy, Alex! We understand each other’s humor because great minds think alike. hahaha

18. Met someone who changed you = I think so. Some people change you, without you noticing it. Because even the smallest things matter.

19. Found out who your true friends were = I’ve always had my trust in my friends. I don’t have a lot but the ones I have, I know they are all true.

20. Found out someone was talking about you = No? Not curious though. I mean, we all talk about certain people. But that does not necessarily have to be anything negative.

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Still the same, family

GENERAL:

2011

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = 90%

24. Do you have any pets = way uso

25. Do you want to change your name = di ko, mahal bayad.

26. What did you do for your last birthday =celebrated with friends and family

27. What time did you wake up today = 1pm

28. What were you doing at midnight last night = nag internet

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = COLLEGE GRADUATION

30. Last time you saw your Mother = minutes ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = none, I <3 my life. char

32. What are you listening to right now = sound sa TV ug sa electic fan nga gatuyok

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = wa, di ko kastorya niya kay iring sya. nag joke ko. HAHAHA

34. What's getting on your nerves right now = boredom

35. Most visited webpage = facebook, twitter, yahoo and everything

37. Nicknames = karrah, kar, yang, yang2, yangertz, karyang, yangerz, shat2, karyatot

38. Relationship Status = SINGLE

39. Zodiac sign = Aquarius

40. He or She = She

41. Elementary = Urios College Grade School

42. High School = Agusan National High School

43. College = XU

44. Hair color = Black

45. Long or short = medium

47. Do you have a crush on someone? O_O

48. What do you like about yourself? can't think of, daghan musulod sa akong mind, haha feelurs!

49. Piercings = none. bisag earrings wa

50. Tattoos = wala, sauna nuon kanang pataban sa mga pagkaon na tag pisohon

51. Righty or lefty = righty! I wish both :))

2020

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = 90%, I think the same. I accept only the people I know. Artista ka ghorl?! haha

24. Do you have any pets = Yes, we have pets now! A dog and a cat. Cookie and Minggoy! And we love them both dearly in spite of their imperfections. Hahaha Drama ka ghorl?!

25. Do you want to change your name = Before, I don’t like my name. Now, I have learned to appreciate its unique nature. Kshatria… At least, smaller probability to be “HIT” in applying for NBI Clearance.

26. What did you do for your last birthday =celebrated with friends and family, same same. Anyhow, I still feel special and thankful that I reached this age. Every day is a blessing, after all.

27. What time did you wake up today = 12:30PM, 30 minutes earlier than before. Not really a morning person. #quarantingz

28. What were you doing at midnight last night = procrastinating. I was supposed to do my task for my online job, but I took time to delay important things and played Trivia 360. So ended up sleeping at 4:30 AM. O_O

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Waah, it’s been 7 years since college graduation! Time flies! Now, I cannot wait for this quarantine to be over. But I’m taking my time to enjoy and be productive. I can’t wait to travel. I also can’t wait to figure out where I want to be for the rest of my life. I can’t seem to dig deep inside what it is that I really want. So,might as well just live in the moment and be amazed by what’s in store.

30. Last time you saw your Mother = She’s actually in front of me right at this very moment.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = None. We are where we are now because of our past. As much as I struggle with contentment, I still would choose to have this life at the end of the day. We are here for a reason. We are here for a mission.

32. What are you listening to right now = I am listening to my family’s random conversation. I also hear a car machine being turned on by our neighbor. My mom is humming a Tiktok music. My younger sister is listening to old songs. It’s quite fascinating that our ears can hear all of these sounds all at the same time.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = Hahaha! Sir Tom! Tomas! My BPI officemate. The ever mighty and passionate employee, Tom!

34. What's getting on your nerves right now = None. Positive vibes all the way!

35. Most visited webpage = FB and IG. Sometimes, Twitter.

37. Nicknames = karrah, kar, yang, yang2, yangertz

38. Relationship Status = SINGLE

39. Zodiac sign = Aquarius

40. He or She = She

41. Elementary = Urios College Grade School

42. High School = Agusan National High School

43. College = Xavier University

44. Hair color = Black

45. Long or short = So now I’m quite confused whether this is pertaining to my hair or my height? If hair, medium. After 1 year, it has finally grown. Hahaha. If height, then I have long accepted I am short.

47. Do you have a crush on someone? I don’t admit my crush before. But now, my crush is Jo In Sung. So, I guess I have a crush.

48. What do you like about yourself? Modesty aside, I think I am an understanding person? Patient? Kind? Hehe. Char lang.

49. Piercings = Still none, no earrings also since a couple of years ago.

50. Tattoos = None

51. Righty or lefty = Righty!

FIRSTS :

2011

52. First surgery= wala

53. First piercing = ears

54. First best friend = hmmm.. *thinking* *reminiscing* :)

55. First sport you joined = pingpong kanang sa pe. hahaha

56. First vacation = la nako ka remember

58. First pair of trainers = ha?

2020

52. First surgery= Way back 2016. My first and hopefully, only surgery. It’s termed as Small Bowel Resection wherein a part of my intestines where a tumor has grown was cut and removed. It was a life-changing moment and I could not be more thankful to God for giving me another chance to live. Life is precious!

53. First piercing = Ears. Yeeeeaaaars ago!

54. First best friend = My sister! My ate! It has got something to do with our 1 year age gap. Too close. Haha!

55. First sport you joined = Same same! Not yo’ sporty girl!

56. First vacation = Still can’t remember.

58. First pair of trainers = I still don’t get this. *puzzled*

RIGHT NOW:

2011

59. Eating = nope

60. Drinking = wala

61. I'm about to = sweep the floor.

63. Waiting for = ♫ tonight wooooo ♫

2020

59. Eating = Chocolate!

60. Drinking = none

61. I'm about to = Werk. Have to write articles. So, I’m currently procrastinating by doing this. LOL

63. Waiting for = you. *oops* haha

YOUR FUTURE :

2011

64. Want kids? = maybe

65. Get Married? = I can't say basin diay mag madre ko :)

66. Career? = businesswoman!

2020

64. Want kids? = still a maybe

65. Get Married? = I am open. It feels good to have someone you can be with for the rest of your life. But we never really know what our future holds.

66. Career? = Now, this question has become so hard to answer. But, I have always dreamed of working in ADB or BSP. Taas ng pangarap, ghorl?!

WHICH IS BETTER :

2011

67. Lips or eyes = eyes O_O

68. Hugs or kisses = hugs.

69. Shorter or taller = taller

70. Older or Younger = same age?

71. Romantic or spontaneous = wa koy hanaw ani

72. Nice stomach or nice arms = nice everything haha

73. Sensitive or loud = ambot ui. bahala sya

74. Hook-up or relationship = uhmm... relationship.

75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker hahaha

2020

67. Lips or eyes = eyes, still

68. Hugs or kisses = hugs.

69. Shorter or taller = taller

70. Older or Younger = same age. Hasn’t changed.

71. Romantic or spontaneous = Spontaneous!

72. Nice stomach or nice arms = nice arms

73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive?

74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship, definitely! I must have not known what a hook-up means before.

75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Now, I don’t get this question. hmmm

HAVE YOU EVER :

2011

76. Kissed a stranger = nope!

77. Drank hard liquor = nope, I'm a good girl

78. Lost glasses/contacts = nope, I have a good eyesight. haha

79. Sex on first date = NO

80. Broke someone's heart = wa nay uso sa ako

81. Had your own heart broken = nop

82. Been arrested = never

83. Turned someone down = don't know

84. Cried when someone died = syempre

85. Fallen for a friend = no.

2020

76. Kissed a stranger = nope!

77. Drank hard liquor = I tried San Mig Light and Red Horse once… Haha. Realized how distorted my thinking about alcohol was way before. It’s not that bad to drink, but you have to know your limits. Drink moderately. I mean, I even go with friends when they drink, although I usually take the listener/watcher role. It’s fun to talk and laugh about anything under the moon!

78. Lost glasses/contacts = nope, I have a good eyesight. Haha. Still holds true, now.

79. Sex on first date = No

80. Broke someone's heart = I think so?

81. Had your own heart broken = Yes! Part of growing up!

82. Been arrested = never

83. Turned someone down = Yes?

84. Cried when someone died = syempre

85. Fallen for a friend = no.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

2011

86. Yourself = sometimes

87. Miracles = way-e-es!

88. Love at first sight = I don't think so

89. Heaven = YEAAAH!

90. Santa Claus = sauna.

91. Kiss on the first date = nope

92. Angels = yeah!

2020

86. Yourself = We have to. Otherwise, we’ll get nowhere.

87. Miracles = YES! Our lives are a miracle! I witnessed a great miracle when I faced my first ever surgery. God was there. God is here.

88. Love at first sight = I think this has changed. I kind of believe this now, but not absolutely.

89. Heaven = YEAAAH!

90. Santa Claus = sauna.

91. Kiss on the first date = depends? hahaha

92. Angels = yeah

That’s it! The 18-year old me vs. the 27- year old me. Some have changed, some have also remained the same. We grow up. Our view about life changes. But one thing constant among these is the love of family and of God.

If you’re still reading up to this point, I suggest you make one as well. It’s a great exercise to know yourself better. You realize things you have never actually thought of before. Enjoy answering! Stay safe!

0 notes