#so it's like woo ~vibes~ instead of Work Mode

[yousignedupforthis]

working from home is bad for me because the sun comes out and im like ooh. what if i walked to the op shop

[katsukis-sad-angel]

Yo Shindo as a Boyfriend

Pairing: Yo Shindo x Reader

Summary: tHe title

Warnings: angst, yandere!Shindo, mentions of blood, trigger warning, mentions of abuse/punishment/whipping, blackmail, mentions of torture, mentions of death, fluff

A/N: Shindo is a creep. Bad vibes. Someone please change my mind. 

BF Scenario Tag List: 

@thedreadthreadanomaly​

hmu if you’d like to be tagged!

oooooh he’s cute, too cute... GORGEOUS AAAH

--

Yo is a cocky asshole who needs to be bitch slapped

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again

Something about him… it might be just me, but Yo Shindo makes me really uncomfy. He gives off creepy guy vibes

That doesn’t stop him from being cute though

Midoriya and Momo’s illegitimate child

Yo is a lanky lookin’ hoe, but (as we’ve seen) he’s hiding some serious muscles under his grey polo

His demeanor screams “CUDDLES!!”

I really don’t know how to handle myself when boi starts sparkling

Yo has really pretty brown eyes

He has no problem doling out compliments to make you blush

To me, Yo Shindo is suave and smooth and he uses it against teachers, other girls, and especially you to get whatever he wants

Manipulative little bastard

When you first start dating, Yo doesn’t exactly trust you yet

Yes, you accepted his feelings with an adorable blush and shy smile, but how did he know you weren’t gonna cheat on him? Hmm?

That’s why he spent the first month of the relationship shattering your defenses and earning your love and trust, all while instilling in your mind that you belong to him

By the second month, you realize something is wrong. You want out of the relationship and you tell him so. Unfortunately, you were in too deep, and Yo’s true colors began to shine through

Overbearing, controlling, overprotective, manipulative, forceful, oppressing, depriving, nosy, strict, and a downright mean Yo Shindo took the place of the lure he had been only weeks before

Uses blackmail and guilt against you constantly

Don’t have friends that are guys

They will mysteriously die within the week

Don’t have any unisex names in your contacts because Yo will assume the worst

Don’t act bratty because he will tame you and show you who’s boss fairly quickly

Don’t have any questionable text conversations with your friends because he reads your messages

You know what? That evil munchkin in disguise would probably force you to let him read your goddamn diary

You’re not allowed to have passwords on your devices

You’re not allowed to leave the house without his permission or his presence at your side

Yo will punish you if you defy him or disobey his rules

I can definitely see him hurting or abusing you as a form of “discipline” or for no reason at all

Buys you expensive jewelry as an “apology”

Likes knowing that you depend on him for everything

Big on PDA → it shows people you are spoken for

“He’s just comforting his sad girlfriend.” with a vice-like grip on your throat

If you try to escape him while in public, he’s going to find you before you can get help. If you do find help before he gets to you, Yo is smooth and collected and will easily persuade the person that you’re just tired

After a few attempted escapes, you gave up completely since the punishment was so terrible

Takes his bad days out on you

If Yo finds out you’re afraid of something (the dark, bugs, etc) he’ll lowkey torture you instead of getting his hands dirty

He’ll lock you in a pitch-black closet, tease you with a spider he found on the wall, take you on a glass bridge or skydiving, hold you under the water; anything to make you beg or cry

Secretly hates watching you cry, he hates it when you back away from him out of sheer terror for his next move, he hates hearing you scream his name through a locked door, hates hearing your strained voice beg him to stop, hates the sound of you retching in the bathroom at two in the morning, he hates seeing the countless scars that mar your soft skin when he commands you to shower with him, he hates the sound of your whimpers and sharp cries as he spanks/whips you without mercy, and he hates the coppery smell of your blood when he came home from work one evening to find you with a knife sunk deep into your abdomen

But as he washed his blood-stained hands and listened to your pathetic whimpers and pleas for help, he shook it head

It was for your own good

If you don’t feel the same as me, that’s totally fine. All of the above was totally subjective. If you actually enjoy his presence, here are some fluffy hc’s for him that were REALLY hard to write.

Yo thrives on physical contact; kisses, hugs, cuddling in the evenings, holding hands, stroking your hair, resting his head in your lap, etc

By physical contact, that means you’ve gotta touch him too; sit on his lap, hold his face in your hands, card your fingers through his black curls, and initiate hand-holding, hugs, and kisses 

Yo loves you very much

Being as handsome as he is, he gets a lot of attention from girls, but he has eyes for you and you only

Yo is very honest and prone to be very blunt, telling you outright how he’s feeling or how radiantly lovely you look 

Not too much PDA, but just enough to let others know you have a boyfriend

Yo will spoil you rotten; he loves seeing the happy look on your face when you take a bite of something really tasty or you get something only he knows you want

Yo is really outgoing and smart, so he would woo you easily and then take you out on an amazing date

A relationship with him would be really stable, not a lot of fighting or misunderstandings since he’s such a nice guy and you guys are perfectly in sync

Although, he’s a big tease so you might bicker a little bit sometimes

He’s a really comforting person and can tell if you’ve had a bad day. Yo will pull you into his lap, press a few chaste kisses to your cheek, and ask you what the matter is

He can be a really good listener when he wants to

He’ll lay in bed and hold you close for as long as you need

Likes to cook for you and just take care of you in general. He’s so kind and gentle, you start feeling better really quickly if you’re sick

Yo is a jealous type, but he isn’t going to blame you for being so beautiful, ‘people can’t resist your charm.’ If a guy decides it’s a good idea to hit on you, Yo will be at your side with an arm around your waist and insult him really good

As the person backs off, he’ll go right back into loving boyfriend mode, asking you if you’re ok and supplying you with a comforting hug

“I’m right here princess, yeah. He won’t be bothering you again anytime soon.” 

[swedisheek]

hello stinky i would like to know who is your favourite mechanism and why, i expect a 2k word essay on my desk by friday

ah fuck ah shit they’re all so excellent i will instead list my favorite things about all of them in order of my vague memory of when they joined the crew. also i smell good how dare you. also FYI for anyone not informed about the Lore, all the shit i’m gonna reference below is a hundred percent canonical.

-jonny: has an ego three thousand times larger than his short ass, king of hubris and not understanding anything. loves his sister dearly, but draws the line at random orgies, which i respect. drags corpses onto the ship like a cat bringing home a kill and tells carmilla to fix his new friends. eyeliner and belt game slay me. (four belts? FOUR??) sad and totally made up backstory, he just lied to everyone’s face about his daddy issues and they were like “chill, let’s write a song where you play all the parts and burn down a casino.” eats people sometimes, which is a positive trait in my heart.

-nastya: my god, finally a voice of reason- ah never mind. her vibes are impeccable, my mysterious trans lesbian queen is unique and absolutely vibing <3 “fuck the ship-!” “i do :3″ is my favorite line of dialogue in anything ever. machinefucker and very proud of it, to an almost concerning degree. that one picture where she’s resting two of her fingers on her chin and cocking her hip as she looks up at the sky makes me Yell.

-toy soldier: my beloved it/its inanimate enby ts!! i love it bc it just. vibes. it has so much fun singing and playing instruments and just fucking around with its friends. who would’ve thought the war criminal with a stolen voicebox would be the most babey of this group?? SPEAKING OF ITS VOICE HOLY SHIT. TRIAL BY SONG CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS. adorable little nutcracker with the saddest fucking backstory infinity/10

-tim: so very very done with jonny but we all know they make out in “secret”. hit that fucking high note as loki so well, my god, he put his whole pussy into that! go gayboy relive that trauma! plays out of tune guitar like a champ and has a ten minute long song dedicated to him blowing shit up, what a power move. excellent hair and long sweeping coats, extremely gender of him.

-brian: ohhh sweet boy. but also totally commits atrocities? like he wouldn’t kill an octokitten that was eating marius alive but he’d let a million people die just so he didn’t have to hurt anyone, and that’s just on mje mode- his morals are so fucked, poor man. also hung upside down inside a sun for a century and respects the hell out of trans people and brings people back to life and those are just a few of my favorite things about him. he fully committed to the steampunk look when he got mechanized and i love that so much. also has the potential to be a tumblr sexyman.

-ashes: ASHES!! ashes ashes ashes. first off what a fucking good name that’s like a murderer naming themself Dead People. they’re the hottest, it’s just a fact, sorry everyone but they are just. mmm. carries around gold bars and cigars and gasoline and nothing else which i respect so much. (though where do they put that stuff? their hat??) sings excruciatingly beautifully and snarks at all the idiots they call their friends and practices the three r’s (rage, repression, and radicalness) so i cannot not love them.

-ivy: mystery wife! her whole thing is stories and yet she doesn’t know her own that’s so fucking pog of her. what does an archivist on a spaceship even do dawg it’s not like the other guys care about the cultures they’re annihilating, i’m pretty sure she just sits in her bunk and reads. why did she need her brain replaced? why does she have such crazy memory problems? how does her new brain calculate all these percentages? we don’t know! she’s very cute and wears fishnets and has a mohawk-ponytail which i adore. play me to sleep on ur flute please miss

-raphaella: twenty points right off the bat for having wings and wearing a knit crop top. what is she going for with her look, we don’t know, but she could do horrific experiments on me and i’d thank her, so it’s working, clearly. alternatively tortures and tops the shit out of marius, i will die on this hill. also a terrifyingly good singer, those little “the void siIings” in losing track make my breathing stop and the entirety of ties that bind is so fucking amazing i. hhhh

-marius: christ i love you mr neither a baron nor a doctor. the other guys are dumb but he’s the himbo of the group just for being That Way. also most of his characters’ (who are also himbos) lines are something along the lines of what the fuck or i don’t understand so i’m gonna punch you. he’s adorable and has such bastard vibes, even his outfit is ridiculous and cute. even though lyf was a cop he deserved to get a happy ending with them ok?? i just love him and his liddol raccoon face and he deserves a slow burn criminal/detective to crew mates to lovers.

OK JEEZ THATS A LOT. ARE YOU HAPPY ALEX. IM NOT GONNA DO AURORA OR CARMILLA BC CARMILLA LEFT AND AURORA NEVER TALKS TO ANYONE BUT NASTYA SO THERES NOT MUCH INFO ON HER PERSONALITY. WOO BOY.

[lexthemondo]

Musical Mondays

Greetings and Salutations,

It is the first official Musical Monday! Woo-hoo! Cue the confetti and party music (Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus is acceptable). Now, my layout will be a bit odd, so I’m going to take the time to explain it this one time and that’ll be all as far as the actual posts themselves go, however, you are always welcome to message me if you’re confused about anything! 

I will first name and give a brief description (serious Lex mode) of every artist mentioned as well as their social media information in case you would like to see more of them. After that, I will talk about specific songs since a lot of you probably are not looking for complete albums. I will then go into recent album drops, or my absolute favorites, that I loved. This is when I drop the “serious Lex mode” and act a little silly while gushing about the music. I will not be doing this for individual songs, instead, I will be doing a rating system! 

The ratings will range from 1 through 5, with 1 being the most calming and 5 being more upbeat and fun. I think this will be easier when categorizing the individual songs themselves just so I don’t end up writing an essay about every song on the list. Plus, the artist summary should clue you in on their general aesthetic and groove. 

I will note, however, that some artists will either have shorter bios or none at all for the simple fact that I cannot find any information outside of their music. For example, in this post, we have a SoundCloud artist that is very small and does not have the same fanbase as the others on the list do. I just briefly stated that he does not have much information about him, but I know he is releasing an EP soon. Now with all the boring stuff out of the way, lets jam out. 

Some of these artists have completely taken over my playlist, and I have no idea how I survived without them before, while others have held a special place in my heart for years. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do, and please go send them some love by clicking on the links to their social media accounts.

Thanks

Lex

Artists:

Cigarettes After Sex

Cigarettes After Sex is an American Dream Pop band from El Paso, Texas. The group consists of lead singer/ songwriter, Greg Gonzalez who founded the band in 2008. Gonzalez, over the years, has also brought upon the help of keyboard player Josh Marcus, bassist Randy Miller, and drummer Jacob Tomsky. The group is known for its dream-like sound, ethereal vibe, and Gonzalez’s “androgynous” voice. The band’s first EP I. was released in 2012, with their single Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby being a huge commercial hit. In 2015, the band released their single Affection, and two years later their self-titled album dropped. In August of this year, the group then announced their new album Cry was announced as well as the released of their solo song Heavenly. The album was released on October 25, 2019.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Brent Faiyaz

Christopher Brent Wood, or better known as Brent Faiyaz, is an American singer and producer from Columbia, Maryland. However, Faiyaz moved to Charlotte, South Carolina, and then ultimately to Los Angeles, California to further his music career. January 19, 2015, he released his debut single Allure followed by the release of his song, and lead single on his EP A.M. Paradox released in 2016, Invite Me. In October of 2016, Faiyaz along with producers Dpat and Atu formed a group called Sonder, releasing their debut single Too Fast on October 25, 2016. December 16, 2016, Faiyaz was a featured artist on Goldlink’s song Crew, alongside fellow rapper Sly Grizzly. This is Faiyaz’s most known song and has gained him a lot of success.  

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Kyle Dion

Kyle Dion is an American R&B singer from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Dion began making music back in 2013 with the release of his song Better. After which he released a cover of Frank Ocean’s song Thinking About You which boosted his popularity. His first EP dropped in 2014 gaining over 1.6 million plays, which ultimately gained Dion a loyal fanbase. This only furthered his passion, and in 2016 he dropped his EP Painting Sounds. All of this success has led up to the release of his debut album SUGA dropping in March of this year. According to The Fader, “The funk-infused album takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, love and timeless nostalgia all through the eyes of Dion's alter ego, Suga, as he grapples with fame and battles his inner demons.”

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

LilBootyCall

Michael Bocanegra, or better known by his stage name, Lilbootycall, or “Call” for short, is an American singer, rapper, and songwriter from San Antonio, Texas. He is most known for his viral 2016 single Sailor Moon, but his first track Aquafina was released earlier that same year. Call’s next song Yugioh was released in January of 2017 along with Butterfly, Cigarettes, 330i, and First Date. In 2018, Honey and Oj in My Gucci Bag were dropped, and Call was featured in songs such as So Pink with Lil Weeb as well as Brokenheart with Cloud123. Earlier this year, his song with Cuco and Kwe$t, 777, dropped and amassed over 200,000 views within the first 2 months. 

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Flower Face

Flower Face is a solo project by Canadian, Ruby McKinnon. McKinnon has been writing and producing music since she was 14, and in 2013 she released her first studio album Every Part of You That’s Left in Me. McKinnon wrote and produced this in her basement within 2 months. In 2014, her next album Homesick followed by the Funeral Kid EP. April 5, 2016, McKinnon released her next album Fever Dreams dropped leading into her next album Baby Teeth dropping in 2018. Flower Face has since released two singles Ruth and Bedhead this year.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Noire

Noire is a “reverb-heavy blues” band from Brisbane, Australia comprised of Billy James, Jessica Mincher, Thom Eagleton, Tom Hogland, and Mashara Wachjudy. They released their first single Baby Blue back in 2015. A couple of years later in 2017, the group dropped their single Real Cool from their album Some Kind of Blue.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Xavier Gibson

Though I could not find a biography on out dude Xavier, here’s his Spotify biography, “Finding solace through music.” I do know, from his Instagram, however, that he has an EP in the works titled Warm Distortion. A release date has not been disclosed, but it is coming and I am so excited. I apologize for the lack of useful information for Xavier, but hopefully, we can find out more next time he pop-ups on Monday. Again, my apologies. 

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Lolo  Zouaï

Born in Paris, France Lolo Zouaï immigrated to San Francisco, California with her family as a child. She is well known for blending classical styles of French crooners with Arab influence from her father's Algerian roots She’s most known for her debut single High Highs to Low Lows released back in late 2017. She has since followed up her success with various singles and music videos. Lolo released her EP Ocean Beach in 2019, as well as her first studio album High Highs to Low Lows that same year. Her most recent work is a single titled, Money, Diamonds, Roses.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Melanie Martinez

Melanie Martinez’s claim to fame from the singing-competition television show The Voice back in 2012. She has since taken over the music industry with her alternative pop music, creative lyrics, and overall aesthetic. She released her first EP Dollhouse, which ultimately leads to her first studio album Crybaby in 2015. The album follows the life of our main protagonist Crybaby and her dysfunctional family life and emotional troubles. Her most recent album/movie K-12 furthers this storyline more, which is highlighted in the movie, by following Crybaby and her troubles in school since she does not fit in. Martinez touches on eating disorders, problems within American school systems, friendships, and first love.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Wale

Olubowale Victor Akintimehin, or Wale, is a Nigerian–American rapper from Washington D.C. He made his initial impact with his number Dig Dug and signed a contract with a local label called Studio 43. Dig Dug was featured on his first mixtape Paint a Picture, which was widely received. This was followed by his second EP Hate is the New Love. In July 2007, he released his third mixtape 100 Miles & Running, as well as his single Good Girls. His fourth EP The Mixtape About Nothing was released in 2008. Wale released his debut album Attention Deficit in November 2009. The album reached the 21st spot on the Billboard 200 list and sold over 28 thousand copies within a week. His sixth mixtape More About Nothing was released in August 2010, and his second album Ambition was released in the fall of 2011. It was followed by a promotional mixtape titled The Eleven One Eleven Theory that went viral. His third album, The Gifted, and his fourth album, The Album About Nothing, were released in 2013 and 2015. He released his fifth album Shine in April 2017. His most recent single, On Chill featuring Jeremiah, has been massively successful.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Alina Baraz

Alina Baraz is a first-generation Ukranian-American singer/ songwriter from Cleveland, Ohio. She wrote her first song titled Roses Dipped in Gold, released on April 15, 2013, in the Lounge Masters Vibes collection series.After moving to Los Angelas, Baraz discovered Danish producer Galimatias and fell in love with his sound. After posting a song she wrote called Drift in 2013 with Galimatias’ instrumentals, the two came in contact and became good friends. The duo created the EP Urban Flora by sending each other music through Facebook. Though it was originally posted on Soundcloud, it blew up after getting a commercial license through Ultra Music. Baraz's first solo single Electric featuring Khalid was released on January 20, 2017. This song will also be seen on her second EP The Color of You in 2018.  Baraz released two singles titled Lavender and Velvet and Buzzin in 2017. Her latest release is a single titled To Me which dropped in September of this year.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Samm Henshaw

Iniabasi Samuel Henshaw, or better known by Samm Henshaw, is an English singer/ songwriter from London, England.  Henshaw’s debut EP The Sound Experiment was released back in 2015 with the help of Wayne Hector and Fred Cox.  Henshaw proceeded to follow up on his debut release with his second EP, The Sound Experiment 2 released in the summer of 2016. Henshaw released music videos for Our Love and Night Calls, singles from The Sound Experiment 2.

Show ‘em some love: Instagram Twitter YouTube Spotify

Songs:

Lovely, Brent Faiyaz (1)

          “And I know you love me, cause I think you’re lovely.”

Broke, Samm Henshaw (5)

           “It’s been a week from hell, I lost my job at 5 Guys. My girl just kicked me out, she says I’m lame.”

To Me, Alina Baraz (1)

          “Here’s to good music, great sex, little time to feel alive; little time to get it right.”

777, LilBootyCall (feat. Cuco, KWE$T) (3)

          “I had other girls, but I dropped ‘em all when you kissed me and you held me; now I got it all.”

Challenge, Lolo Zouai (4)

          “When I have it, I’m dramatic, tell me what did you expect?” 

Virgin, Flower Face (1)

           “ You hold my skin so softly, press into my bones. I am the one who found you here when you were alone.”

He’s My Baby, Noire (1)

          “Don’t know if you’ll stay. It’s all good if you do.”

On Chill, Wale (feat. Jeremiah) (2)

           “We’ve been on a tragedy for months. Why can’t you agree with me for once? Maybe we can be on chill tonight. Maybe I can give you chills.”

Starstruck, Xavier Gibson (2)

          “Maybe we could watch a movie and talk about our day.”

Albums:

Cry, Cigarettes After Sex

Tracks:

Don’t Let Me Go

          “I was dumb to let you drift away, and though I guess it had to come to an end, no one else could have the love we shared.”

Heavenly

          “'Cause this is where I wanna be, where it's so sweet and heavenly.”  

You’re the Only Good Thing in My Life

            “ Shouldn't have a care left in the world. Naked, tanning by the swimming pool.”

Touch

           “ And I watched you do a line that you spread out on the table.”

Hentai

           “I told you about the night that we first made love about a girl who as soon as she made you cum would show you the future and tell you your fortune.”

Cry

          “Wish I was good, wish that I could give you my love now.”

Falling in Love

          “When I hold you close to me I could always see a house by the ocean.”

Pure

          “When you walk in the room in a white bodysuit, and I say, ‘Take it off.’”

This album. This. Fucking. Album. It’s heavenly. I always love Cigarettes After Sex, but this album definitely takes the cake. One of my favorite albums that have dropped this year. It sounds like all of their other music, but that’s what I adore about this band. The dreamy, underwater vibe that they give is perfect for when I’m painting or chilling out in my room. It’s so nice. I think my favorites are Hentai, Kiss It Off Me, and Pure. I highly recommend. Make sure to check this one out if you’re looking for something relaxing to jam out to when you’re studying or doing homework. Also really nice for car rides in the middle of the night.

SUGA, Kyle Dion

On Fire

           “Colombiana, bring my cake up by the pound. Watch the sky with you as it crumbles down.”

Hands to Yourself

           “I got fangs, I got hands, you got plans to put me on my back.”

Spend It

           “My coat white like the '70s gotta keep it clean.”

Not All the Way

          “Sneak in Heaven through the side door.”

Cherry Blossom

          “If you're a tide, I'm the moon. Everything I make's for you.”

Brown

          “Dripping chocolate all over the bedroom. Drowning in your softly spoken sounds.”

Fly Little Bird

          “If you want it, you gon' have to let me take care of everything And anything you want's with me.”

Glass House

          “If you want it, you gon' have to let me take care of everything and anything you want's with me.”

69 Camaro

          “'69 Camaro, put it into drive, got it painted red and white.”

Teach Me

          “It's like I keep a tint on my window, 'fraid what you'll see if you ever look inside.”

No Strings

          “I'm all dried out, maybe it's by design.”

White

          “Showed me how to live and love, 'cause I can't be the shy type.”

Somethings We Can’t Do

          “Kicked out my bed, left me on read; truth is I'm dead to you.”

Bella might be Edward’s “own personal brand of heroin”, but Kyle Dion is mine. This man is so fine, and his voice is gorgeous. I adore this album. Love, love, love. It’s a fresh mix of R&B with some funk influence that just blends together effortlessly. I can’t get enough of it. Honestly, I just can’t get enough of him. He’s walking art, or if I can quote Alina Baraz for a moment, “walking poetry.” SUGA is my favorite album by Kyle, but I would recommend all of his music. My favorites on the album are Brown, 69 Camaro, and White.

k-12, Melanie Martinez

Wheels on the Bus

           “And I'm trying not to look across the aisle, 'cause Maya's letting Dan put his hand up her skirt, and she’s got her hand down his pants.”

Class Fight

          “Her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody. We were in the playground, things were getting muddy.”

The Principal

          “It’s not just me, it's everybody who thinks that you're fucking ugly when you come and hurt us just so you can get your money.”

Show & Tell

          “Like I'm a product to society art don't sell unless you've fucked every authority.”

Nurse’s Office

          “I'm pale as the loose-leaf paper they grow from hollowing out all my lungs in the snow.”

Drama Club

          “I'ma take a bow so you can kiss my ass.”

Strawberry Shortcake

          “Instead of making me feel bad for the body I got, just teach him to keep it in his pants and tell him to stop.”

Lunchbox Friends

          “Come to my house, let’s die together. Friendship that will last forever.”

Orange Juice

          “I wish I could give you my set of eyes, 'cause I know your eyes ain't working.”

Detention

          “Baby, can you meet me tonight in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise, fuck this tension.”

Teacher’s Pet

          “Caught the teacher giving his eyes to a student, pouty, pretty cute, and she bit her lip back to him. Chewing on her nails and her pens while she's dreaming of him, and he's fucking in sin.”

High School Sweetheart

         “Could you be my first time? Eat me up like apple pie. Make me not wanna die.”

Recess

          “Don't let them fuck you, honey.”

The queen has returned! I know I’m late on gushing about this masterpiece, but in my defense, I was completely radio silent when it dropped, and I wanted it to be a part of my Musical Mondays’ saga. Putting the movie aside, which is a masterpiece all on its own and if you have not watched it you should. It’s on YouTube. It’s gorgeous, and Melanie looks stunning the entire way through. The music is to die for. The aesthetic is Melanie’s usual, but there’s something about this album that I love more than Crybaby. I like the storyline, and it’s something we can all relate to. If you’ve ever been to school, you know the feelings and emotions that she conveys throughout the album. My favorites are Drama Club, Strawberry Shortcake, Detention, Orange Juice, and High School Sweetheart. All-in-all, K-12 slaps and you should 100% go and listen.

High Highs to Low Lows, Lolo Zouaï

High Highs to Low Lows

          “Fake gold in my hoops, real rips in my pants, they think it’s all Gucci, but it’s 99 cents, I swear.”

Moi

          “Hit ‘em with the bilingual.”

Chevy Impala

          “Everybody lookin’ at my ride. All the boys they wanna come inside.”

Caffeine

          “Shake it on the floor, make it explode. Wanna see that soda pop pop, overflow.”

Ride

          “Watch me fuck it up, when I ride.

Here to Stay

          “ Pulls me closer like a siren, and the lows come crashing down.”

Look at Us

          “Big talk, lip gloss; put your mouth on it.”

Desert Rose

          “Love me like a desert rose.”

Summers in Vegas

          “My lucky days were when you would take me to your pizza place in the morning. Pay me in fresh dough and Mexican Coke, or take me home.”

Out the Bottle

          “Look at me now, primadonna. Off the runway like a model.”

Blue

          “I dyed my hair blue to fit my mood.”

Beaucoup

           “Oui je t'aime beaucoup, beaucoup, beaucoup.”

Lolo Zouaï is a bad bitch and you can’t kill her. I first discovered her a few years ago when High Highs to Low Lows first dropped, and I was waiting for this to drop ever since. I can honestly say this album is in my top 10, and a few of these songs are some of my favorites. The change in tone, the different styles, the lyrics, the way each song can completely change your mood; just everything is stunning. My favorites are High Highs Low Lows, Chevy Impala, Ride, and Desert Rose. Desert Rose is one of my favorite songs of all time. She’s just phenomenal. Great album, great artist, and you need to listen to this. 

[bwprowl]

Hasbro may have rebooted Transformers Generations into this War For Cybertron Siege thing we’re in right now (and which has, to be fair, turned out a lot better than I initially expected), but TakaraTomy’s determined to mine as much mileage out of the old stuff as they can. Indeed, Legends never die (they may get renamed into ‘Selects’, however) and one such last gasp is a big one. A Big *Powered* one, even. Yes, the Legends EX Big Powered set is here. There’s been some trepidation from some who got it in-hand since this thing was released, so let’s see how I’ll like it!

(Just off the start, love that box)

So what we have here is the latest-of-late-G1 Cybertron Commander Dai Atlas and his two retainers, just in time to interact with all those Micromasters Siege is giving us. I’ll start with the smaller, less important dudes: Roadfire was the one I was actually kinda looking forward to the most. The original Roady’s a bit of a general grail, being a late, hard-to-find Japanese-exclusive toy (and pretty much nonexistent, personality-wise). He’s retooled off of TR Twin Twist, which is pretty much a perfect fit, turning the boxy drill-tank into Roadfire’s comparatively-distinctive boxy regular-tank. A large part of this design is now based in the giant removable cannon section (which even includes the Titan Master cockpit now!) but that’s how the original toy worked too, so it’s kinda fair. This mold still rocks anyway, with it’s nifty-as-hell transformation tricks like the arms or the spinning torso-front. Some of the plastic tolerances on my copy of this version do seem unfortunately loosey-goosey, particularly the waist connection and the hand-holes where the gun pegs in. It’s nothing that’s a real deal-breaker, but it does undermine a toy I otherwise really want to like, alongside the whole super-premium exclusive deal this set is embodying.

Next there’s my eternal nemesis, Sonic Bomber. Look, I’ll just be endlessly amazed that a dude who barely has fifteen minutes of canon to his name could irritate me so much. Maybe this is why JG1 Autobots generally *don’t* have much in the way of personality, because they end up being Sonic Bomber instead. Similarly irritatingly, I actually quite like his toy! It’s based on the Triggerhappy mold, which got retooled within an inch of its life each time it got used in Titans Return, and is similarly completely redone here. In fact, if you hadn’t been told what it was based on or could recognize the few base structural parts it has left, you’d be forgiven for thinking this was an all-new toy! He even does something new with the leg transformation, a first for this mold, and ends up giving him some decent ankle tilts. His alt-mode is the same sort of impractical flying dagger it was before (and also gives me BWII Starscrem vibes). I like his rifle, but not so much his solid black cockpit- Half the appeal of the TR gimmick is being able to see the little dudes piloting them! Another thing you’re terrible at, Sonic Bomber!

And of course, there’s the big map himself, Dai Atlas! He’s retooled from Overlord in ways that work out…interestingly. Okay, so the big thing is that Dai Atlas’s vehicle mode is supposed to be this giant weird combined tank/jet thing (that also has a drill for some reason), which should work right well based off Overlord’s own ability to be a stacked-together tank and jet. But they decided to make the vehicle mode more ‘proper’ here by removing the ability for the tank and jet components to actually separate, and their solution was…to just chain them together at the midsection with this simple, swively, plastic-joint piece. It just feels incredibly perfunctory, and everything about this design decision results in the most hindering compromises of the rest of the toy. The turret section of the tank is gone, so the rotating panels that make up his robot legs look oddly hollow from some angles (thankfully it’s not nearly as bad as it looked in some pics). The loose chain bit replaces Overlord’s old connection point, so his waist feels annoyingly wobbly when you’re handling him. It just feels like the sort of design choice that was made with as little effort as possible, and the whole toy comes off less cool for it.

Not to dump on King Atlas too hard, because he’s not *bad*, just not as cool as he could have been. His modes still look cool as they are, in fact I need to highlight just generally terrific the sculpting, colors, and paint on all these toys is. They really sell that blocky, chonky, late-G1 Japanese super robot charm, with lots of poppin’ whites and reds picking out their own base color schemes. Dai Atlas in particular does do a good job of looking even larger than he actually is, and the dude’s always had a wonderfully distinctive design by the standards of a ‘good guy leader’ TF. My only other major complain is that he doesn’t come with his signature giant ‘Z’ sword- The best you can do is sort of approximate it by popping off and combining his wings, and even then it can only peg onto his arms.

Each one of these guys has a ‘base’ mode tacked on, in the spirit of the tacked-on base modes the originals had (okay, Dai Atlas’s mold had a base mode to begin with, and it’s even still got bits to combine with the other TR bases if you’ve got them around). They’ve also all got connection points to stick together into the titular Big Powered combination, and it’s actually way cooler than I expected. The sheer size of this thing is impressive as-is, buncha big toys like this stuck together. And the spacey nature of the altmodes means it actually works as a big silly spaceship rather than looking too disconnected for what it is. If you’ve got the space for it, it actually makes a pretty cool display on its own. They also all retain the Titan Master functionality of their original toys, and you’ll have to pry out of my cold, dead mind the headcanon that two of them are Cain and Akira, the cutest couple in TF history. No idea who the third one would be though. Rabbicrater?

So the Big Powered set isn’t perfect, and in fact is in an odd place where the ‘centerpiece’ of it, Dai Atlas, is actually the most flawed of the bunch. Roadfire and Sonic Bomber are actually both excellent little retooled deluxes, while Dai Atlas has…issues, but isn’t outright bad or anything. As a big exclusive Japanese toy set, this bunch are actually pretty modestly-priced, and are absolutely your surest bet as far toys of them are concerned. Zone’s a real cool little OVA, so if you’ve got love for it and want some of those dudes, this is worthwhile as an esoteric collection.

Woo, big block of text for a big toy set! Thanks for indulging me on that one, everyone. You deserve to take it easy for the rest of the night, and I’ll see you here next time!

[italicwatches]

GAMERS! Episode 02

Well yesterday ended bad and I’m still not doing great, but I can only put this off for so long. It’s GAMERS!, episode 02! Here we GO!

-We begin exactly where we left off, with Karen trying to be tsuntsun as Keita is being too kind for it to really work, and Tasuku just stares. And then, banana. Not a great day for her.

-Opening! And this opening has tons of game references, which we’re going to count down! Our very first one, right at the start after the title screen, looks like generic zombie action…But I disagree! That specific style of first-person viewpoint with minimal UI, to me, can only come from one place: The lightgun action genre! And if we’re talking lightguns and zombies, well, that can only mean The House of the Dead, Sega’s classic zombie-shooting franchise! Its very first release in 1996 was part of the wave of early arcade 3D games as we would understand them today, not counting the various 80s-era experimentations using hyper-minimalistic graphics and all that. The series is actually still going strong in Japan, with a new title announced earlier this year! Only time will tell if they’ll bring it to a home console and into the US market. As an aside, you can get HotD 2 and 3 on a compilation disc for the Wii that’s pretty cheap, pretty easy to find, and of course Wiis practically fall out of thrift shops when you open the doors, so you can totally get your lighten action with minimal effort and cost!

-DAY 02: Uehara Tasuku and New Game+

-So everyone is soon talking and gossiping about what they just saw, as Keita tries to just play his damn games, and Tasuku soon calms down his little entourage. Whatever’s going on with that loser isn’t their problem. But soon they’re deciding that Keita is getting too high and mighty for being such a loser…Until Tasuku shuts that down. Even as he’s starting to not have such good vibes about his friends anymore…

-And as class goes on, he can’t figure out what the hell is going on in that guy’s head…

-Lunchtime! Pink-haired girl comes to join Tasuku and his friends for lunch, tasty tasty lunch! And she brought some for him too! It…was a cute kitty when she put it in the box. Now it’s more of a murder face. And that’s why you’ve got to either overstuff the box when you do a design, or be damn careful with it. Reasonable portions and genki exuberance do not mix.

-So apparently even her class has heard about what happened between Keita and Karen, as Tasuku is about the only one to not be surprised by it. He can’t tell the reasons why, but they clearly existed…As he flashes back to when his pink-haired girlfriend confessed to him. And had a pile of snow fall off the roof and pile down onto her. Which both messed up her confession, and his original plan to let her down gently, and then things just kinda…happened.

-And now here they are.  She’s super in love with him, and he’s a confused mess at the best of times…Later that day, they’re all down at the arcade, to of course use the photo booth. But packing that whole group in there is difficult at best, so Tasuku chooses to excuse himself, claiming he’s going to the bathroom…Of course, instead he gets sidetracked around a claw game with old PS1 games in it, titles like Darker Blue, THE BLOCK, MOTORGAMES, and METEMPSYCOSE. Also what is clearly a shogi game but I can’t read Japanese so I’m just gonna assume that it’s called Shogi 2: The Sequel To Shogi. Only took them quite a few hundred years but they finally followed up on the much beloved classic!

-So he ends up throwing some coins in, putting his claw game skills to use to hook something something PHANTASIA…When he suddenly has a flashback. And he doesn’t see his current, stylish self in the glass reflection, but his old self, the middle school dork who loved games…Quit it, quit staring at him…Quit laughing at him, all of you…FOCUS, Tasuku!

-Deep breath. He hooks PARADIGM OF PHANTASIA this time, bringing it up…As he tries to get these flashbacks of middle school hell to quit happening…Wait that’s not a reflection of him. It’s Keita, watching him play! What the hell are you doing here?! Well…He…Thought you might like games, since you were playing this over any of the other claw games…

-And Tasuku retrieves what he got, as Keita is all up on it wanting to see! And oh man this is a CLASSIC, you should play it for sure! It got mixed reviews at the time since it claimed to be a revolution but then was kind of more of the same, but it’s a really good example of its era and looked back on way more fondly now! It’s top notch!

-Tasuku don’t care.

-…Right. Sorry. Um, well, goodbye! Keita promptly gets himself gone, going to the video game area of the arcade…Where Tasuku inevitably ends up. And he sees that Keita is…Woo boy. Keita is being very nervous, trying to get a single-player round on one of the fighting games, but of course everyone wants to versus on Arc System Works’s many storied and top-quality fighting games! So finally, Keita just up and goes to leave…When Tasuku decides to just grab the dork by the shoulder. Come on.

-Keita tries to insist he’s not into guys. Okay don’t even start with that ridiculous cliche they both know that’s not what this is. You want to play a game? Then they’re gonna play a fuckin’ game.

-So it’s to the Persona 4 Arena etc. etc. etc. cabs, where Keita admits that he wanted to play it, but felt all nervous having to learn it slowly when other folks were, you know, all…intense. Jeez, this nervous, awkward, passive kid is the one who just shot Karen down hard? …Fuck it, all in. What’s your relationship with Karen?

-Pardon? Oh, right, this morning…Look, you don’t have to say if you don’t want to, but Tasuku was curious.

-Cut over to pink-haired girl waiting, bored, for Tasuku to get back. Also her phone has a kitty case on it. I see a theme. Which is when she spots a blonde over by the crane games…?

-So Tasuku’s heard the whole story upstairs, and the only thing he doesn’t get is, why the club didn’t work for him. You like games. They like games. You want friends who like games. Tasuku’s not really seeing the problem. But before Keita can figure out how to put it into words, one of the sets opens up! And Keita’s so eager to get his chance that he wants to just play! (Fighting games in Japan are typically locked together as a twofer, where you literally play head to head against the person on the opposite side. This is in contrast to the side-by-side play of American fighting game cabinets, particularly back in the day. Depending on the game, it’s not uncommon for them to be able to go into local lobbies with all the other cabinets in the facility, or even play properly online.)

-Of course, the trouble is that Keita is so eager and enthusiastic and wants to Just Have Fun that it’s throwing off Tasuku’s more competitive side…As ROUND 1 starts! And Keita just goes at it, as Tasuku can see that the guy’s definitely better than his girlfriend Aguri. She just kinda mashes buttons with wild abandon, while Keita clearly understands what he’s more or less supposed to be doing…

-But he’s also incredibly easy to read. Guy like him tries all the buttons at the start of the match, does tons of jump-in approaches, relies strongly on heavy attacks and doesn’t use, or defend against, throws properly…Tries to just rely on projectiles when things start going wrong, and finally spams his super when his health is near the end. And that’s how he loses to Tasuku, who barely lost any health.

-But ROUND 2! Which starts to go totally sideways…As despite things, Keita is actually having fun…And Tasuku almost starts to feel some of the old joy that drove him back in middle school. …The only trouble is, Keita is so bad at this that he’s only able to feel a tiny smidge of it. Seriously, he’d go up against elementary kids who did better!

-So, match done, other people want on. And Tasuku finds himself wanting to play something else with this dork, something that’ll be a more even match. So Keita races over towards a lightgun game for co-op play, and pretty soon they’re just goofing off, spending the afternoon working through the arcade’s multiplayer selection, as Keita is just enjoying this chance to get to play games with someone else for a change…And Tasuku can’t help but enjoy it too. Even as it starts to remind him of something that happened back in middle school…

-When Tasuku notices a certain blonde crouched down by a rhythm game , watching. …PAY NO ATTENTION TO HER OH GOD TIME TO FLEE! When Keita sees…The rest of Tasuku’s entourage, and he promptly flees himself. Karen spots him and tries to talk to Keita as he runs by, but Keita is in total panic-flee mode as he doesn’t even recognize that she’s there.

-And Aguri is rather upset with Tasuku for just totally ignoring her! She called tons and tons of times! …Well shit that explains why his pocket kept buzzing. Sorry, he didn’t even notice. How cold! But something’s bugging Tasuku…As he tosses Aguri his bag, and before he even puts together what he’s doing, he’s is sprinting off after Keita!

-Commercial break! Showing off the original PZP’s neon-infused ad campaign.

-And we’re back, with the PZ4’s own stark red ad series in the same aesthetic!

-The sun is low in the sky as Tasuku tries to find that jackass, where could he have run off to…THERE! Up on the foot bridge! Keita! Why, did, you, run? H-He wasn’t running away—CUT THE BULLSHIT.

-He…He wasn’t trying to run, he just…Why would you want a dork like him around? You have a life. Friends, and a girlfriend, and…

-And Tasuku snatches Keita up, and FUCK THAT SHIT. Do you have any idea how much he busted his ass to get here?! How hard he had to work to get superficial friends that don’t even know who he really is, how many things he enjoyed he had to dump to shed his geeky persona from middle school?! Don’t act like he just fucking ‘has a life’ like it’s that EASY! You’re just fucking being salty, trying to justify the rut you can’t climb yourself out of! You think you want to play games by yourself, without having to try so hard? Then why’d you spend the whole day playing every damn multiplayer game you could the instant someone was willing to join you?!

-Nut up, chill the fuck out, and go tell that damn girl you’ll join her fucking ridiculous club! Or at the very least SAY SOMETHING!

-…Take it back. Take it back! He finds himself snatching Tasuku right back up, but his grab ends up with Tasuku halfway over the rail of the footbridge and oh god those are really fast cars really far below this just got Too Real! Even as Keita doesn’t even notice because he’s too busy in his own mess as finally it comes to the end where he’s a lot more mad about the insult to Karen than to him. Him being insulted, he can take. Himself, he dislikes almost as much as you do. But her…She’s driven. She’s kind. She tried to bring him into her circle twice. She, doesn’t deserve this from you!

-Yes yes okay okay DON’T THROW HIM MOTHER OF GOD! And Keita finally realizes what the situation he’s in is, as he yanks Tasuku back onto solid ground in a panic. And Tasuku, Tasuku flashes back again…To that fateful day at the end of middle school, when he packed up all his PZ3 games. Games like BASE COMBAT, and CALL OVER STRIKE: DESTRUCTION WARFARE, sealed up in cardboard. Abandoned his old glasses for contacts, and he realizes how much he was comparing Keita, to his old self…

-So, okay, deep breath. But jeez, to think you’d turn that girl down outright, and then defend her club that hard…You’ve got stones, Keita. …He’s going back to the arcade. You want to come?

-He’s going to head home…There’s a game he really does want to play on his own. And…Sorry for all this. Just forget about it, man. See you tomorrow.

-And Tasuku heads off, deciding that Keita’s got a real earnest heart in him…When he happens to pass by Karen, who saw the whole thing and is all blushy and squirmy and giddy over seeing Keita defend her honor like that.  …Oh dear, this is gonna be a mess. You okay, girl?

-Yes yes the great Tendou Karen is fine! Yahuh sure thing enjoy your romance. WHAT WAS THAT?! You and Keita up there. You’re into him. Karen’s brain goes poof, as Tasuku decides he’s gonna have to see how this goes…And keep poking Keita a little. The guy’s got some real fire, he just needs to let it out.

-Oh and then he gets back to the arcade, where Aguri is really mad. Oh. Oh dear. And that’s how Tasuku ends up having to spend even more money on plush toys out of crane games to try and calm her down. Even as he’s realizing how…kind of thin the premise for their relationship is. It’s been six months, and they more hang out than date. Hell, what even made her want to go out with him?

-So he just finally asks her that question…Expecting it’s because she thinks he’s cute, or tough, or stylish, or something else like tha—

-Because you were so cool when you first got her a plushy back in middle school! …Wait. Middle school? He never got a plush for anyone in…middle…He was a total geek! He…Oh god.

-And he remembers. That face. A nervous, ordinary, kind of sweet girl. Who he gave a plush he just happened to win, just so he didn’t have to carry it home. She fell for him hard, and when they ended up in the same school, she saw her chance…Only to learn he’d turned into this super stylish guy! She had to totally reinvent herself, in turn, to be the kind of girl who could stand next to the new him…

-And Tasuku just locks up, as he puts it together, and remembers the old her, and his brain just locks up, and finds himself feeling more…Something, something he can’t identify at all, as it sends him into a panicked flight as he tries to grasp his own heart!

-Next morning, class. Tasuku gets in, and spots Keita already in his seat. …Hey, you were right. That game you saw him won yesterday really was pretty fun. He’ll let you know when he’s done, maybe you can recommend something else to him. And Tasuku’s friends see how much of a good mood he’s in, as Tasuku admits he’s been having a good time with games these last few days…

-Credits! Which looks really cool, but doesn’t have any other particular game references.

-Aftercredits! It’s a few days later, and Karen is in her own class, in a complete daze…Because her brain is lost thinking about Keita kicking ass like that…When she hears someone mention Keita’s name! Oh god is he here?! He is. But he’s here for…Mono-san, in the corner playing her PZ Vivio. Karen’s brain goes poof.

Well, we have certainly had a shift. The games are now a bit by the wayside for the complicated love shapes. We’ll have to see what happens next time, in episode THREE of GAMERS! Wait for it!

[linaseraphina13]

A jascalronmara fic? Like maybe a date or smth? Honestly that would be adorable . Or maybe a YOI au?? Idk. Thoughts.

Someone else requested Jasper angst so I tried to combine the two requests and it devolved into some crazy shit so here’s my 1:00 am ramblings.

Somehow Call ends up with his own personal harem by the time silver year rolls around.

“I don’t understand. Why does everyone have a crush on me?,” he asks no one, staring off into the middle distance while Tamara consolingly pats his head. “I am literally so undesirable. I have nothing to offer. I am the Enemy of Death.”

“You’re also very adorable and a fluffy idiot,” Tamara tells him. “Like a puppy. A rabid wolf puppy. Who’s also an emo piece of shit.”

“And you have that whole ‘bad-boy’ vibe going on, too,” Aaron pipes up helpfully, trying to seem casual but clearly over-joyed about getting to discuss his favorite topic: Callum Hunt. “It’s no wonder if you think about it. The gray eyes/black hair/southern accent thing is a deadly combination.”

Call just shakes his head, too bewildered over everything to make sense of anything.

He thought Celia was bad enough, but it was like after the whole kiss thing a floodgate opened up, because people started treating him differently. Casual touches increased with alarming frequency, girls batting their eyelashes at him in the hallways, boys offering to carry things for him even though he’s never spoken to some of them in his entire life. Even Tamara and Aaron started showing signs of liking him.

It was Bronze year when he walked in on his two best friends literally fighting over him with like, balls of fire and chaos magic and all types of dangerous shit, and Master Rufus was so pissed about the whole thing that he locked all three of them in the common room and gave them exactly one hour to work it out or he would never let them out again, ever. Honestly, it only took them five minutes before they were crying and hugging each other and realizing that letting romance get in the way of their friendship was stupid, so they came up with a solution that would be beneficial to all without destroying their relationship with each other.

Long story short, Call’s dating both of them now.

“Y’all act like dark-skinned, dark-haired Southern boys are hard to come by,” he complains. “Like, look at Johnny from the Outsiders.”

“Johnny was hot as fuck,” Tamara stresses, and Aaron nods enthusiastically in agreement.

“Johnny’s dead, Tamara.”

“So? He was still hot.” She leans back in her chair, eyes closed in bliss like she’s imagining she’s in the Outsiders. “A tiny kid, but tough. Had a wild look to him. But also had this sort of adorable naivety that was just so pure. Quiet and withdrawn. A real softboy.” She opens her eyes. “Nothing like you, of course, but you get the idea.”

“Wow. Thanks. I really appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” says Aaron helpfully. “I’m pretty sure half the girls in school only like you because you have a dog.”

“It doesn’t, but thanks.”

Aaron beams.

Just then, Jasper enters the refectory looking miserable as hell and with bags under his eyes so heavy they might as well be designer. Even zombified and sleep-deprived Jasper looks like a damn model, although admittedly his hair kind of looks like he stuck it inside a wind tunnel (Call still can’t believe he makes it look like that on purpose).

Jasper looks up briefly as if sensing eyes on him. Call gives a sheepish wave in his direction. Jasper consequently flips him off.

“Well, he looks like he got hit by a bus,” Tamara says cheerfully, then turns back to her lichen. “Call, can you pass the salt?”

He’s not listening. He’s glancing over at Jasper with a look that’s almost invasive. “Do you think Jasper has a crush on me?”

Aaron and Tamara exchange glances. “Why?”

His fingers drum impatiently on the table. His expression morphs from invasive to borderline constipated and he makes a noise. “I don’t know. I have feelings, I think.”

His S.O’s make identical faces of both surprise and disgust. “Call, no.”

“I can’t help it. I think I’m going crazy.” His hands are shaking like he’s about to have a manic episode. “He’s an asshole, but he’s hot, you don’t understand. I need it.”

“Not only are you totally insane for developing a crush on the one person in this entire school who doesn’t have a crush on you, but you’re also a self-destructive idiot.” Tamara looks like she’s not sure if she should laugh at him or pity him, but she seems to be leaning more toward the ‘you’re a dumbass and I’m going to keep calling you a dumbass until your eyes are opened to your dumbassery ways” territory. “He’s taken, honey.”

Call shifts his gaze to Celia, who’s twirling blond hair around her finger and laughing like the totally pretty and beautiful queen she is. Asshole. “I can take her.”

“You can’t. She’s a blackbelt, remember?”

He sucks in a sharp breath between his teeth. “Shit, you’re right.” Then his knee starts to bounce sporadically when Jasper brushes a few strands of hair out of his eyes. “I don’t care. I’ll still fight her.”

“Even if you do manage to trap him,” Aaron says, calling a direct reference to him describing each and every poor soul that gets sucked into Call’s “charm” as trapped against their will, “Are you sure he’s going to be okay with…us?”

Call’s not exactly sure what the they have going on here, but he wants Jasper in on it too, dammit. “I don’t know,” he whines, frustrated. “I think he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Aaron says at the exact moment Tamara goes, “Oh he definitely hates you.” And Aaron shoots her a warning look that she just shrugs off. “We’re all friends, Call. I’m sure if he really hated you he wouldn’t have helped Tamara break you out of prison that one time, right?”

He has a point. Now Call doesn’t know what to think.

“Try thinking of things you have in common,” Aaron suggests. “What are his hobbies?”

“Besides making my life a living hell and studying?,” Call muses. “I dunno. He likes comic books, I think.”

“Then give him a comic book,” Tamara says. “Bitches love comic books.”

Gwenda, who’s passing by their table, says, “I am a bitch and I can assure you that that statement is correct.”

Jasper says something to Celia and starts to get up and Call begins to sweat. “Hhhh, hurry up, guys, he’s leaving.”

“Take him on a date.”

“A movie date,” Tamara inputs.

“At the gallery?” He scrunches up his nose in disgust. “No way, that’s totally cliche.”

“It’s not like you have a lot of options.” Jasper is leaving the refectory, so Tamara tosses a random bouquet of flowers she conjured up with magic and plants a firm boot into his butt to propel him forward. “Go forth, Romeo. Woo thy Juliet.”

He tails Jasper to his room, slipping into the still-closing door like a freaking ninja and James Bonding his way across the common room floor because he’s a badass, managing to keep the flowers from getting crushed while also looking cool as shit doing it. Unfortunately it seems that the flowers Tamara gave him are the exact kind that Call’s allergic to, so by the time he makes it to Jasper’s door and the taller boy opens it, Call is practically crying from how much his eyes are burning.

“What the fuck do you want.”

Call is squinting and his nose is on fire and he probably looks like he’s been punched in the face a couple of times but Jasper is both beautiful and decidedly Unaffected by his misfortune. “Please…take them,” he begs in a hoarse whisper, shoving the flowers in Jasper’s face.

Jasper takes them and immediately tosses them to the floor. “What. The fuck. Do you want.”

It would be so easy to just say, “Your sweet lovin’”, but he physically restrains himself. Instead, he goes, “You look like shit. Everything okay, snookums?”

Smooth.

“I will literally call the police if you don’t leave right now,” he responds, and tries to close the door in his face, but Call moves his bad foot in the way before he can (ow).

“Wait, just hear me out,” he pleads with him. “This is a life or death situation.”

The asian boy eyes him warily. Call is transfixed by his hair. “I highly doubt that, but you have my permission to continue.”

Sweet. Call clears his throat and tries to casually lean up against the wall, hands in his pockets. “So. I heard you like comic books.”

“…yes?”

“Cool, cool.” He slyly studies his fingernails like he’s seen Jasper do on many occasions when he’s trying to convey that he’s interested but not too interested. “What if I told you that I knew a way to get you as many comic books as you wanted without paying a dime?”

Jasper squints at him. “Are you trying to sell me drugs?”

“Depends. Would you like some? I got all the good shit- laffy taffy, mentos, and if you’re feeling particularly wild i got some rasperry fun dip-”

“Call, I don’t have the patience for your antics today,” he interrupts, rubbing at his temples. He looks really tired. Like, really really tired.

Call is immediately locked into defensive friend mode. “What happened? Who hurt you? Do I have to break some ankles or what?”

“It’s just…” He sighs, leaning against the doorframe. Even bent down a little he’s still a full head taller than Call. Call wants to climb him like a tree. “Celia and I broke up.”

Call gasps in mock horror but on the inside he be popping all the bottles. “That bitch!”

He glares at him. “Don’t call her a bitch. I broke up with her.”

“Oh.” He deflates a little. “Not a bitch then. Why’d you dump her?”

“Why do you care?”

“I may be in the market for another addition to the Callum Hunt Dream Team,” he admits, and at Jasper’s blank stare, he adds, “Not Celia. You. I like you. And stuff. Yeah.”

A slow blink. “Uh.”

Call decides to throw all caution to the wind. He grasps a very startled Jasper by the wrists and looks deeply into his eyes. “Jasper,” he says seriously. “Join my harem.”

“What.”

“Please,” he hisses. His eyes are wild and he knows it. “I’m a dying man, Jasper. Don’t deny a dying man of his final wishes.”

“There is something wrong with you,” Jasper tells him with complete sincerity. “Like, I’m serious. You need mental assistance.”

“I’m not hearing a no.”

“If I say yes will you leave me alone?”

“Probably not,” he admits.

Jasper sighs. “Fair enough.” In one swift movement, he dislodges his wrists and slams the door in his face.

“I won’t give up!,” Call yells through the wood separating him from his lost love. “Mark my words, DeWinter, you will join the harem if my life depends on it!”

“Fuck off!,” Jasper’s voice comes muffled through the door. The fact that he responded at all is a miracle and Call decides that’s a win for him.

idk i’m supposed to be writing a 500 word essay and instead i write 1800 words of this bullshit i dont think im going to sleep tonight

[makknays]

inevitable.

requested by anon.

Is there anyway you could write about Jimin (or any other member) falling for their band’s American English tutor ??? You’re An awesome writer btw lil bean 😍😍😍

A/N: smth about being called lil bean warms my nonexistent heart, anywho enjoy this scenario!!! Ps: ik im months late, dont kill me?

You had a job to do and it was always to be strictly work, well that’s what your boss said. A little flirting here and there wouldn’t hurt anybody, right? You chose to wear the slightly shorter dress out of your two options for today and you put a little more effort in than usual; why? You would be having one on one sessions with the members but you were most excited for Jimin, he was such a flirt back to you and it really excited you, if you didn’t know better you would say you’d fallen for him.

“Hey.” you casually greeted as you entered the building, you really knew how to make your presence known, since everyone turned around to see who had just entered; it was funny to watch, since you weren’t even an idol or celebrity in general. “Hello.” some people said as they stood up to greet you as if you had any importance. You made your way towards your designated room to meet the boys and as you entered they all cheered. “She’s here! Woo!” Taehyung shouted at the top of his lungs. “I’m here.” you chuckled as you took a seat opposite the seven of them.

“Today we’re doing one on one sessions, you guys knew that, right?” “Yes ma’am!” Jungkook said as he saluted. “Cute.” you muttered as you shook your head. “Well who’s going first? The rest of you will have to leave to just go over everything to make sure you’re okay with most of it. And uhh, Namjoon, help them out a bit please.” you told them and Taehyung volunteered to go first.

Taehyung’s enthusiasm always made you smile, he was so keen on learning English, as was Jungkook, but Taehyung showed it more physically. You got through five sessions and finally it was Jimin’s turn. “What took you so long?” you joked as he entered the room. “I was nervous that you’d think I was bad.” he nervously laughed as he took a seat. “Oh, Jimin, no, everyone learns at a different pace or knows a different amount of things, don’t feel bad about how much you know compared to me or Namjoon.” you reassured him to make sure he was more confident in his skills.

“Jimin! Chim Chim!” Taehyung called out for me, I was sitting, well, hiding, away in a small corner with my textbook open and a blank mind. “CHIM CHIM!” he screamed, to which I replied by calling back out for him. “There you are! It’s almost your turn!” he excitedly said, he was more excited for my turn than I was. “Aren’t you excited?” “Sure, I guess I am.” “Are you beating yourself up over English again? ___ is a great teacher, we all know that, so don’t you worry!” “Trust me, you don’t know the half of it.” I muttered under my breath before I stood up to spend 15 minutes with ___, alone. 

“That’s the least of my concerns, but thank you for the reassuring words, shall we get to it?” Jimin said as he placed his textbook in front of me. “So, what are you struggling on?” you asked him and so the session went on. “I had a great time learning from you.” Jimin told me before he left the room. “Don’t tell anyone, especially Tae or Kook but you’re probably my favourite to teach.” you smiled as you gathered your belongings and prepared to leave. Jimin waited for you and held the door open for you, nothing out of the ordinary, Jimin was always such a gentleman.

When you left into the foyer, all the members were gathered like they were going to have an intervention or something. “What’s going on here?” you laughed. “We were wondering, since you know we’re going to be touring quite soon…” Taehyung started. “He’s asking if you’re coming with us.” Seokjin interrupted since Taehyung would drag this on. “Oh, yeah, of course I am.” “Yay!” Taehyung cheered and an “I told you so.” was heard from Jungkook, who then held his hand out, only for Taehyung to placed 5,000 Won in it. “You guys bet on it?” you laughed, really big being able to believe a thing. “Of course they did!” Jimin chuckled as he ruffled the other two maknaes’ hair.

A couple of months later, you found yourself in LA with all of BTS and of course their staff members. It was the rare day that they had off and you all decided to go to the beach and have some fun. Everyone was messing around and genuinely have a good time with each other; however you got tired after 2 hours of releasing your energy and took a seat beneath the parasol and watched the seven others have fun with each other.

The first one to surrender to the loss of energy was surprisingly Jimin, “I wasn’t expecting you to be the first to surrender to your tiredness.” you joked as you signed for him to take a seat beside you. “I’m not tired, I just kinda wanted to talk and I guess get this off my shoulders.” “Sure, what is it, are you okay?” you asked him, initiating your caring mode. “I’m fine but I just needed to tell you this and there’s no way to really beat the bush but I really like you. Over the time that we’ve spent with you, I found that I really enjoyed your company and although I don’t show and tell the world how much I like you, whenever I hear your name I can’t help but smile and the thought of you makes me warm and fuzzy inside. Of course, I understand if you don’t feel the same way or if you want it to be strictly business between us but I just needed to tell you this, it’s almost been a whole year since I started to feel this way and I can’t keep it in anymore.”

“Jimin, look, if I give off the whole ‘I’m strictly business vibe’, I’m sorry, I must have been sending mixed signals to you, since I personally really do enjoy spending time with you. It’s just work gets in the way and if something did happen between us I would be so fired.” you told him as you reached out for his hand. “I understand, I know you’d make the right decision for yourself, and if you’re not ready, I’ll be waiting but of course if you decide to, you know, perhaps quit, I’d be here to support you if you needed help.” he said as he pulled me into his embrace. “I’m just glad you like me back.”

– six months later

You decided to quit your current job as BTS English teacher, not only for Jimin, but a better job opened up and you happened to be more than ready to take the position. It paid better and it meant that you would be able to date Jimin, who had been patiently waiting for way too long now.

“Babe, I know it’s your life and all but are you sure you want to quit? Tae and Kook would be so upset.” Jimin told you as he turned all of his attention to you instead of the TV. “Trust me, I know what’s best, and this is it. I won’t completely disappear from BTS’ lives and the plus is I get to be with you.

[chelseyroseblog]

HOW I'M GETTING READY FOR HAWAII IN TWO WEEKS

I just celebrated my birthday HARD for the last week and I'm not mad at it, but I'm also feeling way less in shape than I was a week ago and totally unprepared for Hawaii haha.

BUT not to fear, I know how to get things back together over the course of two weeks and then we can all just pretend that the alcohol, burgers, chocolate, chips, dips, beer, pad thai, cake, ice cream and bread nevvver happened this week. ALLLRIGHHHHT!

I feel like I get asked this a lot though so I wanted to break down everything I'm doing so you guys know exactly how to prep for a vacation. 

1. WORKOUTS ARE A PRIORITY

I mean, it is quite literally, CRUNCH TIME. NO EXCUSES. When you have a short time period to get ready to vaca or for an event, you need to schedule your workouts like you schedule your blow drys. Here's what my workout schedule will look like for the next 2 weeks:

WORKOUT GOALS

M - Full Body

T - Upper Body 

W - Lower Body 

TH - Upper Body 

F - Full Body 

Sa - Hike/Something Outdoors

Su - Lower Body 

One of my biggest areas of focus is my lower body. I want to lift and round out my booty, tone my inner thighs, and tone my hamstrings SO a good rule of thumb when you really want to focus on an area is to get 30-40 total sets per week. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN. I'll tell ya. 

So say on Wednesday I do 3 sets of hip thrusts, then I do 3 sets of back squats and then I do 3 sets of dead lifts...that means I've done 9 sets. So by the end of the week I want to try to hit at least 30. (Again this is for areas that you're REALLY wanting to work on). 

If I do that again on Sunday then I will have done 18 sets. This means in order to hit 30 sets, I need to incorporate 12 more sets throughout the week for legs. So I could do this by 3 sets of squats and 3 sets of bulgarians on one full body day, then 6 more sets of lower body exercises on another full body day. 

That would put my total sets for lower body at 30 for the week which is wooorrrrkk girl! This is how you'll start getting those results you're looking for. 

To give you perspective, a beginner usually gets 18 total sets a week, meaning that they might do 9 sets one day, cardio a few days that week, and then one more strength day with 9 sets for the day. This is not ideal for big changes so just something to keep in mind :)

Another thing to keep in mind when creating your work out plan is to make sure you're hitting each muscle group 2 times a week. 

So those are my workouts...Now let's figure out how much I should be eating with those workouts!

CALORIE GOALS:

So if I wanted to maintain my current weight and not work out, then I would have to consume 1,206 calories a day, but since I'll be working out, I can give myself some more calories YAY. (There's a system to figuring this out so if you want this done for yourself - email me at INFO@CHELSEYROSEHEALTH.COM and tell me you're interested in the NUTRITIONAL CONSULTATION). 

There's a whole number and percentage thing that happens here depending on how often you're working out and how hard the workouts are so for me we will multiply my calories by 1.55, so my daily intake of calories on work out days if I wanted to maintain my weight would be 1,869...

BUT

I want to lose a bit of weight right? So what I would need to do is create a caloric deficit so my calorie goal on work out days would be maybe something like 1,600. This means that by the end of a workout day, I will have burned about 250 more calories that day than I consumed which = WEIGHT LOSS. I think what a lot of people tend to do is work out and then reward themselves with a huge meal so your most likely not in a caloric deficit by the end of the day which is why you're not seeing the results you want! (Don't worry, I did that for a long time too).

MACROS GOAL:

Let's start with protein. If I want to maintain lean muscle that I'm putting on then I want to aim to get my body weight in grams of protein. So I would want to aim for about 130 grams of protein, this means that 520 of my calories would be coming from protein. (There's 4 calories per gram of protein so you just multiply 130 by 4). The cool thing about protein is that when consumed, you burn MORE CALORIES simply by eating it. This is called the thermogenic effect of food. Protein burns roughly 30% of calories consumed so if I eat 520 calories of protein, 156 of those calories will be burned off simply by my body trying to break it down and digest it. WOO!

OKAY - from here I can make my CARB goal intake. I know that a VERY low carb diet is 50 grams a day or less and a LOW CARB diet is 100 grams of protein a day or less. When I'm getting ready for a event or a vacation I like to hover at a "low carb diet". Carbs are made of water so when we eat less carbs we start to lose a lot of water weight and look leaner so it really helps when you don't have a ton of time to get ready for something. 

Carbs also have 4 calories per gram so if I want to have 100 grams of carbs a day, then that means that 400 of my calories will come from carbs. 

400 calorie in carbs + 520 calories in protein = 920 calories. If I'm shooting for 1,600 calories on a work out day then this means that I have 680 calories left to use innnnn fat..or alch haha, but seriously. 

one gram of alch = 7 calories

one gram of fat = 9 calories

So depending on what my day looks like I can play around with these remaining calories. 

And that's the lesson on MACROS. 

EATING GOALS

Alrighty - now that we know how much I can eat, I'll talk to you guys about WHAT I'll be eating. I can eat the same thing for months which is nice because then I don't have to think that much about cooking, prepping, blah blah blah. 

Breakfast 6:30am : 1 piece of medium/large fruit like an apple, pear, or banana or two pieces of small fruit like plums...mainly lol. I'm in love with plumcots right now AND a medium almond milk latte.

Snack 11:00am: This is where I like to get in some protein so I will pretty much always have a ONE BRAND Birthday Protein Bar.

Lunch 2:00pm: Protein bowl. If we have rice in the fridge then I'll add a 1/3 cup of that to the mix with 4 ounces of turkey, 1/4 an avocado, and 2 over medium eggs. Then I top it with some sea salt, goat cheese, and tajin. This is a super easy way for me to get in a lot of protein without feeling stuffed or losing any energy, and it keeps me full for like 4-5 hours. 

Snack 5:00pm: This is usually a point in the day that I'm on my way to work and I'm not super hungry but I need to get in more protein and I never know when I'm going to be able to break at work so I like to go in without any vibes of feeling hungry SO i'll do a cold brew with a scoop of protein powder and almond milk or I'll do a ONE BRAND birthday protein bar if I didn't have on earlier in the day. If I don't have to go to work then I skip this snack and just have dinner when I get hungry. 

Dinner 7:00 - 8:30ish: Nothing big. I'll usually have turkey with vegetables and 1/3 cup of carbs whether it's sweet potato, brown rice, pasta etc. Although since I'm keeping my carbs between 50 and 100 for the day it really just depends on what I've had already. 

SLEEPING GOALS

It's impossible to look and feel good without proper sleep and with my stupid ass schedule, sleep can be really hard sometimes. But I've gotten better at setting myself up for the best sleep possible and making sure that I take a nap the next day if I feel like I need one instead of trying to power through. 

When we're on minimal sleep, we LOOK it and our stress levels typically go up and we end up getting sugar cravings so sleep is meggaaa babe important. 

So to get the best sleep I'm going to make sure that I de stress before going to bed. I work at a lounge until midnight so when I come home from there I need to make sure that I try to relax and unwind before getting in bed or else I feel a little stressed in the morning still because it's like I didn't give myself a break. 

I also spray aromatherapy around me when I get home because it just helps with the relaxation aspect of the night and then I make sure that I do my face routine with all my favorite skin care products. 

An eye mask is essential for sleep as well and my phone always goes on the ground on airplane mode. Rest up bitches.

FINAL DO'S AND DONT'S

Do:

+ Drink a lot of water throughout the day

+ Have a celery juice for breakfast a few times to help reduce bloat

+ Drink a detox tea before bed 4-5 nights a week (I like slim master from Ralph's. Super Cheap)

+ Do hit up a sauna and get a colonic if you have time (MAJJJOOORRR)

Don't:

+ Drink if possible. If you do, go for 1 glass of wine or 1 clear liquor on the rocks. Try to avoid super sweet cocktails and beers FOR SURE. 

+ STRESS. This is so counter productive to what you're trying to do. Stressing will make you hang on to weight and crave sweets.

ANYYYWAAAYY I hope you guys found this helpful! I am officially on day one of the count down and made sure to hit the gym this morning, had an apple and a coffee for breakfast, had a turkey bowl for lunch, a ONE bar as a snack and right after this I'll be going on a hike before I figure out what I'm making for dinner! 

Thank you guys so much for popping in to read this. Comment below if you have any other tips, suggestions, or questions!

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