#so it triggers the bejesus out of me to have something put me back in that head space

[ingravinoveritas]

Did you see Neil's tumbler post about autism?? I never knew. Did he ever said anything about it before? My son was recently diagnosed, and Neil saying that he's autistic made me feel... I don't know, connection to him in a new way? Recognized? Hopefull? I don't have the words. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on it. I hope i didn't come off as offensive in some way. English is not my native language.

Hi there! I am slightly behind in Asks, so apologies to folks who have been sending them in over the past few days--trying my best to catch up now.

Firstly, you did not come off as offensive at all, so please don't worry! And yes, I did see Neil's Tumblr post (it's here, for those who might have missed it), and it's given me quite a lot of feelings, for reasons that would probably be expected.

I think what immediately came to mind when I read his post was a conversation I had with Neil when I met him back in November at a tribute to Ray Bradbury. I told him how much I was struck by the story he'd read, as it felt very much like an allegory for autism and resonated so much with my own experiences as an autistic person. He seemed to appreciate my comments and agreed with my observation, but never at any point in our conversation mentioned anything about identifying as autistic himself.

Does that necessarily mean anything? Of course not. I know that Neil does not owe me (or anyone else) a disclosure, and the decision to disclose is a very personal one that each person has to make for themselves. But thinking of Neil's post the other day, I'm also reluctant--for a variety of reasons--to say that it is a disclosure, or Neil definitely stating that he is autistic.

When I got your Ask on Friday morning, I was eager to answer it, though I knew I would have to wait because I was at work. Soon after, I had a difficult, emotionally draining meeting with my two supervisors. I ended up crying at work--which I have now realized is a trauma response--and by the time I got home and was starting to process everything, it was difficult not to look at Neil's post and flinch, particularly at the mention of "superpowers." That day, for the first time in a very long time, I could only feel the "kryptonite" part of being autistic. (My personal stance is that I have never considered autism to be a "super power," but something that is neither all good or all bad, and is part of who I am, yet not all of who I am.)

And from the conversation I had with my supervisors, I felt the responsibility and the pressure of other people seeing me in ways that I never intended--and regardless of whether I want to be seen that way. (For context: This was about my work as a professional speaker and people seeing me as an expert in autism/sexuality, when I never use the word "expert" to describe myself and always tell people I don't have all of the answers.)

The reason I mention this is because I feel like people read that post from Neil and--understandably, of course--saw something. They felt the connection that you described, and that sense of recognition. But what concerns me is that it's going to somehow turn Neil into a representative for an entire community, when that may not be something he wants or feels like he can be. If he is on a journey with autism--whether that means self-diagnosis, or a clinical diagnosis, or not having/seeking a diagnosis at all--that's something incredibly personal. As difficult as that journey is for people navigating it privately, myself included, Neil is possibly doing it in the public eye, which means that everything--every achievement and every misstep--is that much more amplified.

To that end, what I often see with Neil and social media is that he is either lavished with praise or torn to shreds (with very little in between). Being autistic means there is another possible dimension to who Neil is, but it can't be the only lens through which we see him. So I'm just hoping fans don't pin all of their dreams and expectations on him--not only for their sake and avoiding potential disappointment, but also for Neil's. To allow him the messiness and imperfection of being human, instead of a perfect role model.

I hope all of this makes sense. I'm still feeling a little raw from this past Friday, but I wanted to be sure I answered your question. Thank you for writing in! x

[shepherds-of-haven]

So how would the ROs react to meeting the MC's Ex who is really nice to the MC and obviously into them but when MC leaves the room the Ex starts talking crap about stealing MC away from RO. (RO and MC are together in this scenario)

Blade: absorbs this information silently… he’s confident MC could never be “stolen away” from him but he’s definitely going to do something about Ex… until then, though, he’s not going to show them his cards and give them a reaction, so he would just coolly ignore them and make them feel really awkward lol

Trouble: MC walks back into the room to find Trouble having grabbed Ex by the collar and hauled them up into the air with superhuman strength. Really depends on if he’s just staring silently into their soul with wordless fury or if he’s already pummeling the absolute bejesus out of them

Tallys: “Oh, I see. That’s how we’re going to play it.” When MC walks back into the room, she says, “Dear, Ex was just telling me the most fascinating things…” and tells them calmly and exactly what the Ex said… in front of the Ex! 

Shery: She’s so shook–they seemed so nice!–that she has tears in her eyes by the time MC walks into the room and has to excuse herself. If MC doesn’t follow her, she reads into that that they’re more concerned about Ex than her, and starts to panic… but then she gets angry, and she eventually hits a breaking point and yells at both MC (if they didn’t follow her) AND Ex!

Riel: Riel would smile thinly and inform Ex that he already has researched all of their weaknesses and has known them ever since he first learned of their existence. Do they really want to pull the trigger on this, or would it be better for all parties involved if they quietly left town?

Chase: Chase would just be holding his ribs and cracking up by the time MC came back into the room. He’d find the concept so hilarious and the Ex so pathetically unthreatening that they’d be silenced and ashamed by his raucous laughter. To add insult to injury he’d wipe the tears from his eyes and just be like, “…good joke!”

Red: he’d be thrown off and really uncomfortable by them saying they were going to steal MC. What is he supposed to say to that? Later on he’ll think of something cool like “I dare you to try” in the shower, but in the moment he’s like, “Uh… what?” Afterwards, though, he tells MC everything in a tone of bafflement: “So you’ll never guess what your ex just told me…” 

Ayla: she calmly crosses the room and punches Ex in the face. By the time MC comes back into the room, she’s sitting on their chest, having grabbed them by their forehead as she raps their head smartly against the floor 

Briony: I think it depends on how personally threatening she’d find the Ex (like does she think they’re better-looking than her, or make her feel insecure in some other way?): she could just have a big bright smile on her face and just kill them with kindness, like “oh wow, that’s really embarrassing that you said that out loud!” and cheerfully informing MC what they said when MC comes back, or she could get really dark and angered by the disrespect, like i could put you through the wall and not even blink, and you still underestimate me enough to talk to me like that? you must really not respect me at all... like gritting her teeth and shaking with the need to KILL but only just managing to calmly, softly say, “if you ever show your face to me or MC again after today, there won’t be enough of you to mail back to your family”. *MC comes back* :) “oh honey, Ex was just telling me they were on their way out!”

Lavinet: she gets perversely excited, like “👀 oh bitch? u… u challenge me?” and she’s just smiling wickedly and practically vibrating with energy by the time MC comes back into the room. Oh yes, she is going to organize this Ex’s downfall and teach them their place so quick. She doesn’t even need to tell MC what happened, she’s just looking forward to making Ex rue the day they ever thought they could go head-to-head with Lavinet Naveen… 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 71  [Begin: Iron Man 3]

Friday night dates had been a good idea. Until they weren’t anymore. Until he was late a few times. And you were late a few times. And a couple of times the night had been ruined by the now seemingly endless stream of paparazzi that you were sure Christine Everhart was behind. Because if you’d just submit to an interview where you said everything she wanted you to say and none of the things that were actually true… she’d stop calling you. Stop calling Pepper. Stop calling Tony. Stop calling Stark Industries leaving incessant voicemails and emails. And she’d surely stop slandering you to all her fans on the internet- as you’d sadly noticed her show had been moved off primetime air. 

But the internet was the way of the future, they say… so surely it couldn’t have been that terrible for her. 

Still. She was insistent on ruining your lives. So she did. Until Friday night dates were no longer publicly accessible, as you spent them in your home. Safe. Sound. Some part of you knew Tony preferred this. He’d gone further down the rabbithole of being adamant about you not being bothered. About Happy sticking by you- even though you were fully capable of protecting yourself from would-be photographers and campers with microphones.

You were an Avenger, damn it. It didn’t make you feel that nice to be treated like a fragile piece of glass. Sure, more often these days you seemed to jump at every stray shadow and every surprise noise- scaring the bejesus out of Pepper more than once just by being startled by her suddenly appearing. Your gasps would trigger her own fright and then she’d chastise you for being so jumpy. 

Sorry, you’d say. And mean it. But it didn’t fix anything. So it was nice to curl up with Tony in the fortress that was your home. It was nice to just have a dinner in, and then pretend to watch a cheesy movie on TV, while Dvahli climbed into one or both of your laps, often now lying with her tummy up, sprawled out over both of you. 

It wasn’t a perfect home, but it was… mostly happy. As long as you and Tony were content ignoring all the other problems. 

But sometime around the start of November- maybe it was the end of October, it was getting hard to keep track now, he started missing Friday date nights- the ones that were in your house. The ones that he should have been fully capable of making it to, seeing as, oh, he was only ever in the basement all the time.

He’s hurting, you reminded yourself, when he answered your call from the lab instead of walking up a flight of stairs. Telling you he just needed an hour to sort through an accident that had happened. 

He’s grieving, you said over and over again. Grieving his sense of identity, grieving his sense of independence- and suddenly you found yourself grieving too. The loss of… life. Everything. Nothing was as it should have been. 

He’s traumatized, you knew. So that made it okay, right? That made it okay- what he was doing, building all those suits. That made it okay that he stopped answering your calls in the middle of the day. That made it okay, that on the fourth Friday in November- the Friday that should have led into a three day weekend, seeing as how it was only your third anniversary that Sunday- he told you to leave the dinner you’d brought on the table by the door, and barely looked up at you. 

...that made it okay, right? 

A cloud loomed over you almost all the time after that. It wasn’t hard to take notice. Pepper asked if you were okay. Happy asked if you were okay. Random Stark Industries employees- ones that actually weren’t just trying to curry favor for once- asked you if you were okay. Because you looked a little gray. And down. And… 

Sad. 

The entire atmosphere at the office, every floor, started to shift. At first you just thought everyone else must be having a bad time with life, too. But it was the following Friday when Pepper looked at you for too long a time and then just burst into tears that you understood what was really going on. 

And at that moment you wanted to lock yourself at home, too. 

It became an awful reciprocal thing. She was out of her depths, apologizing endlessly, telling you she didn’t know what was wrong with her. And you were just barely hanging on. Just enough to tell her you were going home early, and that she didn’t have anything to be sorry about. Barely hanging on as you climbed into the back of Happy’s car. 

Feeling like maybe you could breathe through this and not just break down- it wasn’t a real breakdown, you told yourself. It was just- you were amplifying everyone around you, and they were just mirroring you. So it wasn’t- it wasn’t real. These weren’t your real feelings. 

Then the car pulled up in the driveway. 

And there waiting for you was a giant- massive, bigger than the driveway- cream colored stuffed rabbit. The crew that had put it there, presumably, was just leaving. And Tony, standing in front of it, waved to you as you got out of the car. Happy pulled back out on the the curb, but stayed. Idling. Watching. 

“Hey- I uh… I know I messed up. Big time.” He was talking to you, more like at you, simply because you were having trouble processing what was going on. What you were looking at. What was happening. He side stepped to wave his arm up at you. “Oh, this? Anniversary gift. Don’t tell me you love it yet. Just wait. It’s cotton with leather. For the uh- ...the uhm… second and third year is supposed to be-” His words were getting lost in a choked fog. 

A wet sheen took over his eyes. 

Raising his hand he almost violently wiped the back against the corner of his left eye. “Why am I-” As if he couldn’t make sense out of what was happening. 

You were infecting him. Just like you’d infected everyone else. 

“I have to go.” Go where? You had no idea. But you needed to get away from him. He was already suffering. You’d just make it worse.

But as you tried to rush by him to the house he grabbed your arm. “Hey- hey-” Commanding just a little as you felt both your threads start pulling loose. “I mean- just say you don’t like it and that’ll be that, but this-?” 

“Tony I can’t do this. I can’t do this right now.” Begging him hard to just let you go. Let you leave. 

It was the worst thing in the world when he did. When his fingers slipped away and he held his hands up in defeat, looking at you with such an open concerned gaze. You were broken. He could see it then. That one moment. 

“Honey-” 

In a mad dash you turned away from him and ran up the steps into the house. Breathe- Into the bedroom. Just breathe through it- Into the bathroom. Just hold on- Sliding down against the now locked door. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.

You were anything but. And after an hour had slipped by, his gentle knocking came at the door. Followed by a solemn, “Honey… talk to me…” You could hear him kneeling down, could almost feel him pressing his palms up against the door. Trying to feel you. 

But that’s what you did. And you were just at the end of shutting down. Of putting those walls up so high you hoped they’d never come down again. 

The lies started. “I just had a rough day at work- Pepper was completely emotional- I think maybe she broke up with a boyfriend or something- she started crying in my office and- you know how I am.” Lying. With a silent apology, sorry Pep, please forgive me. Not wanting to blame her, but it wasn’t like he’d double check with her. 

He waited. For a moment you thought he knew you were lying so much it must have offended him and he’d got up and left. But, eventually, you heard a soft exhale. “So… you don’t hate the rabbit?” 

Trying. Trying to make you feel anything but this. And to his credit, your lungs huffed out a forced laugh. “I don’t think I really get the rabbit, but I don’t hate it.” 

“It’s an anniversary gift.” 

“I heard that part.” 

“Hey- can you come out? I don’t really like talking to the door. It’s kind of interloping on our conversation.” 

You weren’t sure you were ready yet. But he was asking. And the more you did whatever the hell this was, the more you ran the risk of upsetting him more. He didn’t deserve that. He was already struggling. So you gathered the rest of your courage. A deep breath. Stood, and then opened the door. 

He was standing right on the other side of it, with those soft, imploring eyes. So quick to threaten your hard work. He was going to ask what was wrong with you. You couldn’t let him do that. So instead you cut him off just as he opened his mouth to ask, “Can the rabbit actually fit in the house?” 

“Uh-” He’d wanted to have a real conversation and got cut off by nonsense. But it was his own nonsense, so what could he do but pay it heed? “Good question. I’ve uh- actually got a team tomorrow to come answer that question.” Reaching out, he put an arm around your shoulder, drawing you out of the safe enclosed space that was the bathroom. “Probably gonna blow the front wall out.” 

“Oh how nice.” 

“My calculations might have been a little off.” 

“That’s very unlike you.” 

The two of you slipped into easy banter. Things you knew. Sass and sweetness. Ignoring everything. Ignoring absolutely all of it. “Too true- see, this is the part where I tell you JARVIS had the schematics. I think he misplaced a one somewhere.” 

“Don’t blame me for your mistakes, sir.” His ever-present voice answering a question that had not been posed to him. 

He clamped the fingers of his hand over your shoulder up and down, “Blahblahblah- he’s embarrassed. I would be, too. Anyway…” 

Worried he was going to try asking again, you diverted. “I haven’t eaten today, are you hungry?” Rushing by anything he might have wanted to get into. 

You’d officially turned into him. Putting everything off because you just didn’t want to talk about it. Couldn’t. And couldn’t deal with him caring for you over it. Because that would make it worse. And he had his own problems and- 

...god, the two of you really were in trouble, weren’t you? 

                                                     ------

Yet you had no idea, truly, the scope of trouble you were in. There was no possible way for you know. To even come close to understanding. December came. And right at the beginning you dug yourself a hole about as big as Tony’s. Wanting to stay away from him for fear of causing more trouble. Not wanting to fall to pieces in front of him. But at the same time, he was failing at a balancing act of being just as deeply troubled as you were, yet trying to check up on you where you’d let him. 

It couldn’t go on like this forever. The two of you couldn’t trade positions back and forth until- ...until what? Until one of you actually admitted you needed help? Said you were going to find someone to talk to? Maybe that really was the first step. Maybe you needed to be the one to make it. 

It just seemed very impossible. 

Even more so, when at the beginning of the third week of December, in the middle of a Board meeting, both LUNA and JARVIS pinged you simultaneously with a doubled up, “Ma’am,” in your ear. It got you to stand, and quieted the other voices in the room as you put a hand to your ear. They wouldn’t bother you- especially not in tandem unless something was wrong. 

JARVIS took over. “The Ali Al Salem air base has reported a bombing. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes is stationed there.” 

Your heart stopped. “Casualties?” 

One of the older, gruffer gentlemen in the room tapped his hand on the table. “Excuse me, Ms.-”

“Shut up.” You held your finger up to him, still pressing other hand to your ear. It didn’t matter what they thought of you in that moment. None of it mattered. None of this fucking mattered if Rhodey- 

“The report only just went public, casualties listed at 39. No soldiers. Please direct your attention to the screen. An unauthorized broadcast is taking over all airwaves.” 

JARVIS turned on one of the big monitors in the front of the room and every pair of eyes turned that way. A high pitched tone greeted the air, and a flat image of multi-colored bars. Like a long forgotten stand-by symbol. Except on top of it were ten rings, each one with a gun inside of it. And a pair of swords at the center. 

You pressed your hand harder to your face, feeling a tremor come over you. “Tony…” Calling out for him, terrified, knowing one of your AIs would make the connect for you. “I’m here.” 

“You seeing this?” 

“Yeah.” His voice was tight. 

The screen flickered to life. A man in long dark robes, his back to the screen, walked down a row of people on their knees. Men toting guns stood by in the background. The location was  remote. In a desert somewhere. As the camera moved around him, his face appeared. He had long hair tied up in a top knot, a long scraggly beard- sporting sunglasses. 

As he walked away from what you knew to be hostages, the camera focused on the men behind him hiking up their weapons and arming on the people kneeling. A voice hit the silence. “Some people call me a terrorist.” The men opened fire. You wanted to look away, but you forced yourself to watch. Because you knew this was your world coming undone. “But I consider myself a teacher.” The footage cut between idyllic images of people and scenery, and that man in some dark room. “America, ready for another lesson?” Images of Native Americans flickered in and out of the screen. “In 1864 in Sand Creek Colorado the U.S. military waited till the friendly Cheyenne braves all gone hunting, waited to attack and slaughter their families left behind, and claim their land.” 

He removed his sunglasses, and intermingled with him talking to the camera, new images emerged. Buildings on fire. “Thirty-nine hours ago the Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait was attacked. I… I…” He appeared again, and a twisted smile greeted the camera. “I did that. A quaint military church filled with wives and children, of course. The soldiers were out on maneuvers, the braves were away.” The camera moved to an unflattering angle, and he looked right into the lens. Between his words more footage of explosions were happening, people chanting in the streets, guns, violence- “President Ellis, you continue to resist my attempts to educate you, sir. And now, you've missed me again. You know who I am, you don't know where I am. ... and you'll never see me coming.” The screen cut out, that high monotone noise accompanied with their logo on the screen before it went to black and a newscaster who looked ghastly pale sat in dead silence. Most likely trying to comprehend what had just happened. 

You turned and walked out of the conference room. “JARVIS get me Rhodey- conference him. Now. Now.” 

Tony spoke first, “Come home. Now.” 

“I’m on my way.” As you jetted down the hall, you caught Happy sitting in a chair by your office and waved to him. He got up and followed on heel. “Tony-”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. JARVIS, you get an answer yet?” 

 Happy’s voice got mixed in with the onslaught, “You don’t even have your stuff!”

“Just one moment, sir.” 

You answered Happy, “It’s fine, we just need to go.”

It made sense, that Rhodey was probably extremely busy. His current base of operations had been attacked. He hadn’t been there to witness it. People were dead- women and children. And now the President of the United States had just been threatened. Which made all the more sense as JARVIS spoke again-

“President Ellis on the line for you sir, ma’am.” 

The both of you answered in sync. “Not now.” 

Finally, Rhodey’s voice filled your ears. “Look guys, I’m busy- I appreciate the concern- I do- I’m flying home in forty-eight hours. We’ll talk then.” There was no dial tone or click to indicate he’d hung up, but you knew he was no longer with you immediately after finishing that last sentence.

You climbed into the back of the car and Happy looked up into the rear view mirror. “Home?” 

“Yes, please…” You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. This was not your mess, right? Mandarin… Ten Rings or not… this was a military operation, right? You and Tony didn’t have to get involved… right? Yet you sensed that was impossible. “Tony… what are you thinking?” Leaning your head against the window as you waited patiently for his answer. “I’m uh… I’m in the middle of a project. What’d’you think? American military can handle this one?” 

JARVIS spoke up. “You already have one voicemail from President Ellis. How many will he leave before either of you answer him?” 

Your hands clenched in your lap. “We’re private citizens, right? This isn’t on us. This isn’t our job. This is… this is Rhodey’s job.” Trying to convince literally any of the four of you listening to you talk that that was the truth. That none of you were going to get involved. 

What a liar you were. Unwillingly, albeit. No matter how much you didn’t want to get involved… there was just no way. There was no way you were going to be able to stay out of it. 

Tony spoke again, much softer this time. “...you okay, honey?” Telling, that he could hear how rattled you were over the airwaves. 

The last brush you’d had with terrorists had… not been a personal one. But it had touched upon your life in a very drastic way. Because it had warped Tony’s completely. For the better- you were mostly sure. But those same people now had a figurehead. And he’d bombed not only Rhodey’s airbase- but a few other places before then. Was this your fault? For not letting Tony get involved sooner, when Ellis and Rhodey had called those months ago? You’d told him to leave it alone- 

“Honey?” 

Why did everything always feel like it was your fault? 

“Stop the car-” 

Happy listened almost too literally, stopping on the side of the highway in a screech. “What? What is it?” 

Tumbling out of the side by the guardrail, you pressed your back against the door as you crouched on the ground, trying to find your breath. Every part of you was shaking- and too soon you heard the roar of engines, of people zooming past- screaming-  you put your hands to your ears-

You heard Happy’s car door open and slam shut, and he paced a yard up on the side of the road and then back. “It’s all over the radio- it’s all over the radio-” 

People were panicking. Everyone in your vicinity was panicking. 

The next sounds that broke through your broken gasps for air were the sounds of compact jets. Ones you were used to. And then a clank of metal on blacktop. The whir of motors as Tony approached and then knelt down, hands reaching up to take hold of your face. You tried to bat him back, “Get away- stop- go away-” What would happen if you infected Tony with nervous madness? 

What would you be liable for then? 

“You’re fine- look at me- honey- breathe-” His helmet slid back and you stopped fighting him, directing your panicked gaze his way. “I’m fine. I’m okay. You’re okay.” 

You’re okay. 

The sound of his voice echoed somewhere deep inside you, and in that same deep darkness, waves that had been drowning you started to die down. You reached up, clasping at his wrists. The frenzied traffic on the highway slowed. Happy’s heavy running footsteps slowed to a stop. 

“I’m- I’m okay…” You breathed the words out in a shudder, eyes dropping closed as the energy collapsed out of you. 

“Take your time.” Still calm and gentle. Still holding you. Keeping you grounded. Like an anchor. 

As reality came back in slow drips, so too did your understanding of what had just happened. The same thing that had happened weeks ago. But instead of infecting your office building with weepiness, you’d now caused a small mass panic on a public road. 

Blinking up at him, you knew one thing. And one thing for sure. “We’re in trouble, aren’t we?” 

“You tell me.” 

But you didn’t have to. He knew. Same as you. 

You were in a lot of trouble.

[pinkletterday]

The Flash 5x4!!!

I am HYPED, you guys! FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MOMMA AND BABY.

Whatever it is Im going to deeply empathize with and love both of them.

Idk who this stupid af bitch is running straight into a blazing hail of fireballs and trying to take selfies but I hate her.

Iris. Iris. Baby. Hahahahaha Nora knows what a disaster her Mom is in the kitchen. I love you sfm Iris.

Hey Nora this version of your Mom just met you so hold back on the teenage sass, okay?

Ok this isnt funny anymore my heart is aching for Iris.

Young lady sit back down and eat that breakfast your Mom made for you.

"Make you a banana" lmaoooo this is why Barry does all the cooking. Gawd I love the domesticity.

I love that Iris can't cook. It just adds to her perfection. I guess I really am a fool in love, huh?

Oh God this guy. Shut up shut up shut up. Did this buffoon just call Cisco Ramon not brave???

I wish Ralph would take the lead here. That's right, I like Ralph now. This season is magic.

I would find this softball thing adorkable and hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Barry is literally the Flash. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Would have been much more interesting if Barry had turned into a star athlete overnight and everyone just boggled.

Otoh it provides an interesting (read: hilarious) look at their dynamic growing up. Their different dorknesses cancel each other out.

I am irked. Why is the Flash a hopeless athlete? HE CATCHES KNIVES OUT OF THE AIR. How does he just switch off his co-ordination?

Kinda nice seeing all the ladies together like that though. Cecile is a gift.

NORA IS A GAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A BABY QUEER IN THE HOUSE aaaaaand you are seriously trying my patience here. Be rude to your mother one more time. See how that goes.

Oooh Momma Bear is on the case! *hearteyes*

See, Baby Giraffe is already better at this than The Fraudulent Frenchie.

I hate to say it but based on that lumberjane chic I think we have another queer in the house. But this one we don't want.

Loool "like her size extra small". I hate to say it but thats a way better reason for her codename than "excess" ugh.

No it was different because she never knowingly put the people she was writing about in danger you asshat. God I wish you weren't so pretty.

Another black man wrongly accused. What up, America.

...Joe what. You guys. Jesse Martin looks bad. IS HE OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

Momma coaching Baby through speedster things! Because Barry taught her that one time she was a speedster. I can't handle this. My heart.

She FINALLY thanked her! Iris's smile.

My girls. I can't.

OMG SOMEONE REMEMBERS EARLY EDITION! I loved that show!

Also. Iris West, ace reporter, always better than fake hoes. Watch and learn, padawan.

Am sad we're not getting any Cisco Ramon. I hope Carlos is enjoying his mini-vacay. Otoh, I really like that Caitlin is included in the West-Allen circle this ep.

I wonder why Nora doesnt call Cait and Cisco Aunt and Uncle. They must be the godparents.

It's okay Ralph. Some leads don't pan out. If Shitloque was an actual detective he'd know that.

But I love that the heroes of Central City can walk around in public and interact freely. Oliver's team would need to break in and scare the bejesus out of some poor unsuspecting sod.

NORA IS A DISASTER LESBIAN CONFIRMED. Or probably a disaster bi like her Dad. I AM LOVIN' THIS.

THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PENNY DROPS FOR BARRY THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS A GAY LMAOOO

Fuck I love that Iris never even blinked when Nora said Spencer was cute. She probably sussed it way before. I love you Momma West-Allen.

Oh no oh no I was right. Iris pulled a Joe West. Goddamn it. I mean I get why, I get how traumatized and scared she must have been but IRIS NO YOU DON'T LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN TO PROTECT THEM. Remember how you felt when your Dad did that to you?

I am legit heartbroken, you guys. I really wanted to be wrong. I blame Joe West's goddamn patriarchal shitty parenting for perpetuating this cycle of lies.

I swear to God if this show tries to justify lying and manipulating your kid again I'm going to give up on it. It's triggering as all fuck (I still havent recovered from S1 and 2) and I need Iris to be held accountable when she fucks up, not let her turn into another Fefe who can do no wrong.

Jesus Christ Iris, trying to force a conversation with Nora by invading her privacy and ignoring her need for space is not okay. BOUNDARIES, girl.

Oh okay but she's holding herself accountable thank fuck. I mean, Barry's right she can't be blamed for what she might do in the future but IT'S STILL WRONG.

I was actually shaking. Friendly reminder that survivors of parental abuse and manipulation are also watching this show, some of us with CPTSD.

"What if my Dad did something like that to you"?? Er. Iris? Remember when he lied to you for twenty years about your mother being dead and you didn't talk to him for six months?

Oh here we go. You've stood there like a gormless beanpole for three episodes without so much as trying to intervene Barry and this is how you choose to comfort your wife. Not "yes, it's a bad thing and we can't know what led you to the choices future you made but in the here and now you know not to. We can learn from the future and make different choices, Iris."

PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT, CAITLIN.

...I just meant for frightening Caitlin, but he actually wants to be punched?

Ooooh that was satisfying! Pretty sure her form was all wrong but can't argue with the results.

I love how fucking competent Iris is??? She knows how to use the entire STAR Labs tech arsenal. Although that Vibe device kinda defeats the whole purpose of breechers. It's like if they had a device lying around that could give just anyone super speed.

Not sure how Spencer thinks XS can kill Flash. One's a n00b and the other is veteran.

Wait, Baby Flash can do what now?

I don't like that they had to dumb Barry down so much to give Iris a chance to shine. A couple can both be competent at the same time! It's called being a power couple! Not one-half Idiot Ball couple!

So her phone got powers? Huh??

Ah yes. Dark Matter. More multi-purpose than Quantum.

Okay cool Ralph is getting his due. "Less right" LOL

"That puts meta-human powers in the hands of anyone" kinda like having a Breeching device, no?

We have meta-humans, meta-phones, meta-daggers (a tech dagger??) HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THE DARK MATTER HIT A HOME DEPOT?? How many people now have meta-vacuum cleaners? Meta-dishwashers?? Meta-can openers??

Oh God. No. Not this.

No. You do not lie and manipulate your kids to protect them. You do not do that. Love is no justification.

Don't Barry don't. Stop stop.

I can't watch this. FUCK YOU.

FOR GOD'S SAKE SHE'S CRYING AND SHAKING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE NOT STAND ON YOUR PILE OF BULLSHIT WITHOUT GIVING A FLYING FUCK.

No, cry all you want. I have no sympathy for either one of you callous asshats. You fucking destroyed that girl. Fuck Joe West for having raised you to think this way.

Yeah no Joe West is not who you want to go to in these matters, Nora.

I don't even care about Cicada anymore.

I should have known this show would never get any less gross.

Look, I was fully prepared to be sympathetic to Iris, traumatized, alone and single mother to a meta-child in a dangerous world to have made some bad decisions. And I do empathize. But I wasn't prepared for present-day Barry and Iris to justify and rationalize that shit. I thought they were going to say "That was a bad thing your Mom did. I'm sure she thought she was protecting you but she may have lost sight of how much it hurts to have your choices taken away from you. But I'm not that woman, Nora. I know I could never bear to see you hurting like this. I can still make better choices. Please give me a chance?"

Not "No I am your Mom and everything I do is right and good because I love you, I'm sorry if you feel hurt about it but them's the facts."

They did this when Barry and Joe lied to Iris all through S1, when Joe lied to Iris about her mother. This show is still all about apologia for lying and manipulation because LOVE AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND TO PROTECT YOU BY DISRESPECTING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AND TAKING AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Parental love is not a justification. Most abuse takes place at the hands of parents who really believe they're doing it for their children's protection. Please never say "your parents have every right to hurt you to protect you because they love you". Do you even care at all.

I'm not okay. Gonna take a break from fandom for a while. Can't deal with people taking Iris's side to protect their Westallen feels. Fuck both of them.

I'm posting this but please don't engage me to argue about it. Massively triggered.