#so it took me ten gifs in order for Bill to say the magic words

[twig-tea]

A question for you because you seem like one of those people who has watched everything: how did you get started watching bl, and what are your ultimate favorite shows?

Double-barrelled! I'm honoured.

How did I get into BL?

The short answer is that ~2016 the YouTube algorithm served me up Lovesick and I immediately went EXCUSE ME WHAT IS THIS and looked up everything else available and watched literally everything I could get my hands on (which at the time was easy because there was only a handful compared to today, but it still felt like a wealth of content to enjoy).

The longer answer is that I used to be really involved in GL (I was the secretary at the first Yuricon in North America in 2002 or 2003) and then BL manga fandom (was in a scanlation group for awhile) through ~2006? so its extra hilarious that this wasn't my route in; I apparently took a break right before they started making live action versions in Japan. But when I got into Thai BL it was fun rediscovering these tropes in a new medium and through the lens of a new-to-me culture, noticing how they differed and how the genre had matured (and how it hadn't), and on catching up on the stuff out of Japan, seeing some of the manga I read over a decade ago come to life! So I mention this history because it's definitely a part of why I stayed (and probably why the algorithm found me relatively quickly).

I only started tracking things in a spreadsheet in 2020 (and it's not nearly as comprehensive or useful as @absolutebl 's), but I did try to backfill the highlights of what I've seen and I have over 550 rows on there, fwiw. I'm a completionist so I do try to watch everything, though that's getting more and more impossible these days.

Ultimate Favourite Shows

This question is so hard. I know you didn't even give me a limit but you have to understand @lurkingshan, I can't choose favourites, I have a draft top ten list that has been blank for 3 years because I can't commit. Okok. I'm just going to list shows as they come to me (not in any particular order):

Thailand: Until We Meet Again, He's Coming to Me, Diary of Tootsies, WhyRU, Ingredients, Not Me, Secret Crush on You, I Told Sunset About You & I Promised You the Moon, Triage, You're My Sky, Make it Right, La Pluie, My Ride, Bad Buddy, My School President, Laws of Attraction, Moonlight Chicken, Dear Dr I'm Coming for Soul, To Sir With Love/Khun Chai, The Eclipse, Midnight Museum, Lovely Writer... Grey Rainbow [ducks, hides, runs away]

Japan: Doushitemo Furetakunai (no touching at all), Kinou Nani Tabeta (What did you eat yesterday?), Our Dining Table, Takara-Kun and Amagi-Kun, Old Fashioned Cupcake, 7 Days (mon-thurs & fri-sun), His (miniseries & movie), I Want to See Only You, Kieta Hatsukoi/My love mix-up, the Cherry Magic Movie, Life~Senjou no bokura/Love on the Line, 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us, Given (anime is my fave version), Tokyo in April Is..., Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese, Utsukushii Kare/My beautiful man

Korea: Our Dating Sim, Semantic Error, The Lover [BL side], Color Rush, Blueming, Cherry Blossoms After Winter, Love Class 2, Made on the Rooftop, Discipline Z, Light on Me, To My Star (yes both seasons), Strongberry (faves are Long Time No See, Confidential Coffee Break, and A First Love Story), Sing My Crush, Just Friends?

Vietnam: Goodbye Mother, Hey! First Love, Nation's Brother, You Are Ma Boy, Follow My Sunshine, FOOLs, Tien Bromance: My Small Family, Love Bill

Philippines: Gameboys, Gaya sa Pelikula, Boys Lockdown, Cheat [warning: horror], Your Home, Better Days

Taiwan: Be Loved in House, My DNA Says Love You, We Best Love (1 & 2), HIStory (Crossing the Line is my fave, and second fave is...Make Our Days Count [ducks, hides, burrows into ground]).

Other: Summerdaze (short from Singapore), Stay Still (Hong Kong), HeHe and He (Hong Kong, final season in progress but s1&2 are so funny) and the bromances/difficult to categorize: Scumbag System, Word of Honor, The Untamed, Guardian, Coffee Prince, Bromance (Taiwanese), Great Men Academy, Mr Queen, Sleuth of Ming Dynasty, SCI Mystery

*deep breath* ok I'm stopping lol narrowing it down any less than this gives me pain so I won't try. Also I'm sure I forgot something obvious (and Tumblr was eating drafts of this at various points). All I can say about this list is it's under 100 and that's the best I could do.

Thanks for the ask, and to anyone who made it this far thanks for reading!

[not-looking-for-happy]

Favorite TARDIS Reactions [2/3]

Bonus: Nardole explaining to Bill how to make a TARDIS

[daydream-believin]

The Never-Ending Roadtrip (kmart’s haunted)

Summary: (part 1) Reader has joined Douxie on the quest for Nari’s safety. He’ll need company. (part 2) - Missouri 1     (part 3)

Warnings: swearing, very light spooky?

Word Count: 2245

A/N: so we’ve established that Doux wasn’t the one who burnt the bookstore, but they don’t know that. look, have you been in a Kmart recently? its apocalyptic. also, you know that post about people repeating their default work greetings by accident? yeah

“Do you want me to split the bill or?” The waitress asked, not sure if the group at the table was a young couple and their child or just three college kids hanging out. It was kind of hard to tell. On one hand, that one kid was so small, wearing a little deer costume, and had been helped to order. The other two radiated the energy of an old married couple and talked mainly to each other. But on the other hand, college kids are just like that sometimes.

“Nah, I got it.”

“What? No. I’m paying for us.” Douxie insisted.

“I have the cash, Doux.” (Name) turned to the waitress. She put some honey in her voice. “Just bring us one bill, please.” The waitress nodded nervously before heading off.

“No. I don’t want you paying for too many things while we’re traveling. You’re unemployed.”

“And who’s fault is that Mr. Mephits-Are-Vulnerable-To-Fire? You fucking burned down the store and put us both out of work here.” Nari was squirming at the negative vibes going on. It helped that she didn’t exactly understand what was going on.

“It was magic fire!” Douxie interjected in outrage. He looked so cute when he got defensive.

“Yeah, okay, sure.” (Name) shook her head, looking up to the ceiling. She let out a huff, “look, I invited myself onto this trip, Douxie. I want to pull my own weight. You’re going to have to let me pay for something eventually.”

“We’ll see about that, Love,” he said as he grabbed the ticket from the waitress’s hands as quick as lightning, tucked his card in and gave it right back before (Name) could further protest.

“Ugh! FINE! Then I’m getting the tip.” She pulled out a tenner and slapped it onto the table. She glared right back into Douxie’s hazel eyes. He glared right back into hers with a matched intensity. Nari looked back and forth between the two and whimpered. (Name) broke the standoff to assure Nari that they weren’t actually angry at each other so she shouldn’t be worried. That seemed to ease the forest child a bit but not by too much. She could still feel the weird aura they were putting off.

“Okay! So here’s your check back and here’s that lox bagel you ordered to go.” The waitress handed (Name) a doggy bag.

(Name) took the bag gingerly. A big fake smile spread across her face as she was momentarily possessed by that good spirit of customer service. “Thank you! I hope your experience was spellbinding! Have a magical day!” (Name) said on autopilot in that high-pitched voice and winked exaggeratedly. It was like she was an NPC and her talk button had been accidentally pushed. The waitress laughed forcibly and scurried away to the kitchen. Douxie cracked up.

“You do know that when I told you to say all that stuff after ringing people up, I was hazing you, right?”

“Oh yes, I am completely aware, Doux. Did you think I’d not pick up on how ridiculous that sounds? But I still say it to spite you.”

He shook his head. “Of course.”

***

Archie scarfed down his bagel sandwich with almost disturbing speed. It was like watching the void consume, well, a bagel sandwich. It just disappeared. Down his furry maw and out of existence. Being a dragon works up an appetite, after all. (Name) was a bit baffled and asked him if she should go get him another bagel. He assured her that the one was just fine and said something about trying to catch some birds later. She leaned back on her elbows against the boat’s railing, trying and failing to not think about the details of that.

Douxie cleared his throat. “So,” He folded his hands together for emphasis, “Since the subject of money came up earlier, I think we should also discuss the topic of our accommodations.”

“Well, you two obviously cannot afford lodging every night.” Archie snarked, flicking his tail.

“Thank you, for that, Arch. No, I was thinking more along the lines of a tent.”

“A tent?” the cat asked incredulously.

“Oh, that could work.” (Name) pointed at Douxie animatedly, “keep us close to nature for Nari. And also could keep our possible property damage bills down. Good idea, Doux.”

“Thank you,” Douxie puffed up, “see Arch? Someone appreciates my ideas-”

“Wait. That’ll be a short-term solution. We’re just barely into September. It’s going to be much, much colder in about a month. By October it’ll be too cold to bear. Even if we all huddle together like penguins.”

Doux looked away to hide his blush at the suggestion. “That is a problem. Okay, um-”

“Maybe we could just cross that bridge when we get there? Who knows what could happen between now and then. We could find so temp work in a little town somewhere.” (Name) shrugged, smirking at Doux. She didn’t want to admit that ‘we could be dead by then’ was also definitely a possibility on the table, so she tried to further distract from that thought. “Maybe we’ll find a creepy abandoned cabin in the woods we can squat in. Maybe some nice trolls will take us in as novelty pets. Maybe my rich Aunty Josie could just suddenly die under some ‘mysterious circumstances’ and leave her lavish fortune to her beloved niece,” she smirked at Doux, “I dunno, just spit ballin’ here.”

“I’m electing to ignore that you just suggested we ice your aunt because you were onto something there.”

“I was?” Her tone was a mixture of sarcasm and disbelief.

“Yes! New Jersey!

“New Jersey?” The wheels turned. “Oh! New Jersey!”

Nari looked confused. “What is special about this ‘New Jersey’?” she asked

Both Douxie and (Name) turned to her, “Trolls.” They said in sync.

***

(Name) stood there with her hands in her pockets. Somehow this Kmart was still standing, out here in The-Middle-Of-Fucking-Nowhere, Missouri. She was standing here, in a Kmart. It might as well have been 1986. There was barely anything on the shelves. Half the shelves themselves were missing. The floor had a layer of grime to it, in spite of the wet floor sign along with the shiny patches that said that it had clearly been mopped recently. The air smelled like something (Name) couldn’t quite place, but it was nostalgic. A strange scent that took her back to her childhood. Or at least she thought it was her childhood. It had to have been. Taking deep breaths, she couldn’t quite get enough of it.

Continuing that vibe, a muzak 80’s tune played over the speakers. Funny enough, despite (Name)’s brain seeming to recognize that it was playing a song from the 80’s, she just couldn’t quite put her finger on it as to which. Every time she thought she’d figured it out, she’d hear a few notes that would somehow change her mind. It was a pop song at least, to narrow it down. It’d been going on for about six minutes now. Must be one of those extended tracks.

She’d ask Douxie what he thought the song was. She turned her attention to him and noticed he was still just staring at that same shelf like he had been for, what, ten minutes now? Even though this fucking Kmart barely had any shelving in it, by some miracle it not only had exactly what they were looking for but an entire aisle of them. How lucky was that.

Douxie was taking very careful consideration into this tent purchase. This was going to be their new home, after all. He just couldn’t decide which one was best. They all had fancy camping terms on the packages that meant nothing to him. He’d been trying to decipher the code. The secret outdoorsman code. Nari shifted uncomfortably in the basket.

“Hisirdoux, you should maybe, hurry this along?” She sounded strained.

But she was right. He should just pick one already. It’s all a gamble anyway. He decided on a dark green one that boasted a water-proof material. Good natural color, not easily spotted, and it wouldn’t soak through with rain. That should work well enough, he figured.

“I’ve hurried along. Sorry Nari.” He casually tossed the box into the cart next to her. She sniffed the box and nodded to him.

Now that they had their goal item, the quest party started for the checkouts. Douxie could have sworn that it had been on the side of the store they were in. They had passed it when they came in. Now it was completely across by the other door. Did he get turned around? Or maybe they did come in from that side of the store. He actually couldn’t remember.

As they walked, a few things caught (Name)’s eye. They passed a display of dark leafy plants in oddly shaped pots, a table stacked high with various books and a clearance sign, a knife case that had been left open, a candle display with a few that had already been lit and were dripping wax, a bargain bin of CDs, and lastly a sad box of no-longer-in-season pool noodles. There was a sale on bloodmeal apparently. Perfect for perking up those roses after the summer heat.

They arrived at the checkout after what felt like an endless journey. (Name) hadn’t noticed any other customers the entire time they had been there, and yet the line for the only check open had seven people in it. She grabbed a couple bags of red licorice from the impulse shelf to add to their cart while waiting.

Nari was really interested in that checker. (Name) took her in. The teen was taller than most and had very, very long blonde hair that cascaded down her back like a shiny golden waterfall. Her cheeks were slightly sunken in. Must be going through a diet phase. Poor girl.

The young woman was obviously not one for small talk. Name couldn’t blame her. Retail sucks. Her perfect red fingernails clicked against the keys of the register in a practiced beat. She turned around and told them their total in a bored monotone. As Douxie fiddled with his wallet and payed, (Name) found herself staring right into the cashier’s eyes. They were such a light icy blue, they were almost white. It was striking. (Name) was almost in a trance. It was broken as the cashier turned around swiftly to rip off the receipt off the machine, and, in an uncharacteristically cheery voice, told them to have a nice night. Night?

They returned the cart back to the stack, grabbing their one singular shopping bag and helping Nari out. Of course Nari could easily just jump out herself, but that wouldn’t be something a human child could do. They didn’t need to draw any unnecessary attention to themselves here. They made their way to the automatic sliding doors that lagged so that they didn’t open until you were standing right in front of them. This allowed Douxie time to catch a glimpse of the reflection in the glass. The reflection of the store was completely devoid of people. Not even the checker was at her station. He sucked in a breath. After walking through those first doors, he stopped. He took a moment to turn back. There she was, right where she should be, checking out another customer with three more in the line.

Douxie hurried along the doorway to catch up to (Name) and Nari. It was darker outside than he expected, and he was taken aback. He found them right outside the store, waiting for him. In one hand, (Name) was holding Nari’s, in the other, the plastic shopping bag. Her head was tipped up to the sky, transfixed by the moon. He came over, grabbing her shoulder as he pulled her along, in an attempt to urge her away from this place. She looked back at him, eyes wide with distress. He tried to convey that he understood with his eyes. All three of them instinctually knew not to say anything more why they were still in this parking lot.

It had barely been half past noon when they had started this little Kmart side quest. It was now at least seven by the looks of it. They had spent six and a half hours in a Kmart? How had they spent six and a half hours in a Kmart. There went their entire travel day. But no time to dwell on this, they needed to get back to Archie and the boat as soon as possible.

As they walked back towards the ship, (Name) and Douxie both took one of Nari’s hands so that she was in the middle, like how those couples walk with their children. The streetlights glared up at them in the slick pavement. Apparently, it had rained while they were in shopping limbo. Poor Arch. (Name) let out a puff of air.

“Well. That sure was something.”

Douxie nervously chuckled, “If we had stayed in there any longer, I think we might have died.” (Name) mirrored that nervous chuckle.

“Oh, no, dying would be much simpler than what would have happened to us.” Nari said sweetly, like what she was saying was somehow better. Nari liked being helpful. (Name) put on her best fake smile.

“Thank you, Nari.” She tried her best to sound as sincere as possible to spare the veggie lady’s feelings.

[allaboutthebooz]

I See The Light Pt. Four

Summary: Tony takes the team to Walt Disney World and Steve is understanding why it’s so magical.

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Warnings: angst. Gotta have the angst.

A/N: Well when I typed this up it came out to over 2300 words and I could have kept it going, but I figured I would cut it where I did and just make add another part. Have mercy. There are a few scenes from the actual movies added in and, well you’ll see. Memories will be in italic. The majority of this will be memories. And don’t worry, this is just scratching the surface of the relationship between Steve and the reader.

Sweat dripped from Steve’s forehead and covered his back, chest, and arms. It soaked his shirt, causing it to stick to his body with each hit he landed on the punching bag.

‘whack’ ‘whack’ ‘whack’

Memories of his past flooding his mind with each swing. The life he lost when he put the aircraft into the ocean the frozen Artic. The war. Bucky. Peggy. Peggy. Peggy. Nothing, but anger pours from him. His hits growing harder and harder until the bag rips from its steel hinges and crashes onto the floor, sand flying from the busted stitching.

Breathing hard, he takes a moment to calm down before brushing his hair back in place and picking up a new bag and hanging it up. Replacing the broken one. Another deep breath as he resumes his workout.

‘whack’ ‘whack’ ‘whack’

“Trouble sleeping?” A voice calls from the front of the gym, pulling Steve’s attention away from the task at hand. He looks for the intruder to see Fury standing in the shadows, except he’s not alone. A smaller, slim figure stands beside him. A woman. They move forward together, stepping into the light.

“I slept for seventy years, sir.” ‘whack.’ More punches land on the hefty sand filled bag. “I think I’ve had my fill.”

“Then you should be out. Celebrating. Seeing the world.” The two stop about five feet Steve. He stops his hits and finally looks at his company.

Fury the same as always. Dark clothes and eyepatch. Face void of emotion. But the woman. The woman was someone Steve had yet to meet. Her hair was long and a rich shade of burgundy. Her face almost completely void of makeup. Freckles scattered across her cheeks and nose. Eyes big and round. Her suit skin-tight, like Maria’s, but more blue than grey. Still dark, though. He tries not to stare too long, but her small smirk tells him that he failed.

He turns from then and starts to unwrap his hands. “I went under, the world was at war. I wake up, they say we won. They didn’t say what we lost.” He stuffs one wrap in his bag and begins to unwrap the other.

“We’ve made some mistakes along the way. Some very recently.”

Steve peeks at them and notices the file in the woman’s hands.

“You here with a mission, sir?”

“I am. Agent Y/L/N.” She takes a step forward, holding the file out to him.

“Trying to get me back into the world?” He asks, not taking the file.

“Trying to save it.” She tells him, speaking for the first time. Her voice calm, but stern. She opens the file, urging him to look.

The subject within grabs his attention. He puts his other wrap in the bag, joining its friend. He takes the file from her and sits on the bench.

“Hydra’s secret weapon.” He starts flipping through the pages and pictures of the Tesseract.

“Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you.” Fury explains, causing Steve to look at him. “He thought-we think the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That’s something the world sorely needs.”

The super soldier closes the file and hands it back to the agent. She takes it. “Who took it from you?” He asks.

She sighs. “He’s called Loki. He’s…not from around here.” She taps her fingers against the folder.

“There’s a lot we have to bring you up to speed on, if you’re in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.”

Steve stares beyond them, contemplating. “At this point, I doubt anything will surprise me.” Agent Y/L/N smirks when he stands and turns away from them. “Ten bucks says you’re wrong.”

He gathers his bag and walks to the row of punching bags that are lined on the floor. Picking one up and putting it on his shoulder. Fury continues. “There is a debriefing packet waiting for you, back at your apartment.”

Steve keeps his pace, heading towards the exit.

“Is there anything that you can tell us about the Tesseract, that we ought to know now?”

“You should have left it in the ocean.”

--

That was the first time he had met Y/N and all he knew about her was that she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. and was nice to look at. Except, he never admitted that to anyone, not even himself. He remembers seeing her in the control room of the Helicarrier and the way she let out the biggest belly laugh as he handed her a ten-dollar bill. “Thanks, Cap.” Was all she could manage to say between her laugh.

He learned that she and Natasha were extremely close, and both had a personal mission to save another agent that had been compromised because of Loki. The two women were very similar in skill and attitude, which he believes is because of their time in the Red Room, but Y/N was just a bit more carefree. She laughed more than Natasha did. He never had to ask her name. He didn’t have to. It was in her file in the debriefing packet. Y/N Y/L/N. Simple yet fitting.

Both she and Natasha hail from Russia, saved by Clint, and are now the top spies working for Fury.

Said spies were currently sitting across the table from he and Bucky. They were sharing pictures from the trip. This was the first time they’ve actually sat together as a group for a meal. They decided to meet up in the UK at Epcot to eat at the Rose and Crown.

They ordered drinks while waiting for Sam and Wanda. Laughing and telling stories of different events that happened during the trip.

“I didn’t think I’d ever hear a grown man scream the way that Bucky did on Space Mountain.” Nat tells the other’s as y/n hunches over the table, laughter spewing from her lips and tears falling from her eyes.

“It’s a rollercoaster in the dark!” Bucky states, trying to defend himself. “You can’t see anything except for some fucking lights that look like stars. You think you’re gonna go one way and it’s like ‘no man, you’re going this way.’” All I could think was ‘All of this bullshit that I’ve dealt with, and this is how I die.’”

His admittance makes the other’s roar with laughter again, drawing unwanted attention to their table.

--

Another successful mission means another party thrown by Tony. Various friends and heads of business to rub elbows with. The team is required to attend to kiss the asses of every old rich snob that walks through the door.

Everyone in their best. Steve in his usual button down and black slacks. After watching a couple of World War II vets- who were as old as he is- get taken down by Thor’s Asgardian elixir, he moves to find more of his friends. He spots Nat behind the bar, mixing drinks. She’s talking to another woman. As he moves closer, the woman turns her face to the side as Bruce steps up beside her.

Steve stumbles the slightest when he realizes it’s Y/N. Her burgundy hair looks almost black in the dim party lights and curled in soft waves down her back. Her dress, like everything else she wears, clings to her curves in black silk, stopping at her knees. Her shoulders covered in nothing but two thin straps. A giant bow on her left hip. Her soft skin tempting to touch.

He shakes his head and continues his walk to the bar. Y/N turns from the semi-private conversation that was occurring between the beast and the spider. She gives Steve a smile when she sees him coming her way.

“Hey there, soldier.” Her soft voice calls to him.

“Hey, yourself.” He replies, leaning against the bar.

“Having fun?”

“Impossible not to. There’s some interesting characters here tonight.”

She laughs and nods. “Do you expect anything else from Tony?”

He chuckles. “No, of course not, but it’s fun no less.”

“Well, good. You deserve to have fun.” She stretches over the bar, giving Steve a good view of her long frame, and pulls a couple bottles of beer from behind the counter. She pops the tops off of both of them and hands one to him. “I talked to Sam. Still no word on Bucky.”

The soldier sighs and nods, taking a sip of his beer before answering. “Yeah, he’s still missing.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll find him.” She puts a hand on his arm, stroking her thumb across the skin that’s exposed under his rolled sleeves. His skin tingling at the simple touch.

All he can do is nod.

**

The night is drawing to a close, all the guests have left, and the team is sitting around a table, littering the couches and floor. Thor laughing.

“But it’s a trick.” Clint calls from his spot on the floor, drumstick twirling between his fingers.

“No, it’s much more than that.” Thor tells him, clinking beer bottles with Steve, Y/N perched against his legs in the floor.

“Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power.” Clint exclaims in a mocking tone. “Whatever, man! It’s a trick!”

The God of Thunder chuckles raising his hand to Mjolnir as a welcome gesture. “Please, be my guest.”

This begins the entertainment on the guys each taking their turn trying to lift the hammer. Each of them failing after countless tries. The women sitting around, smirks in place and eyebrows arched.

After Bruce jumps away from it with a tease of Hulk rage, Steve pats your shoulders, urging her forward so that he can have a try.

Everyone giving words of encouragement, while he struts the short distance to the table, rolling his sleeves up once more, a smug look on his face as he observes the taunting hammer. He grips Mjolnir’s handle and tugs. Muscles straining with the resistance she gives.

The hammer budges just a bit, but quickly sets back in place. Thor’s smile slipping and Y/N’s eyes growing wide, her drink stopped on her red lips. He gives a final tug, before raising his hands in defeat. Thor gives an anxious chuckle as Steve resumes his spot on the couch. She stands, handing him her drink.

“Let a lady show you show it’s done.” Her bare feet pad quietly across the floor, Sam giving a cat call from his hair by the bar. Steve watches her observe the hammer, placing her hands in the same position as the other’s had. Giving it a good pull, the table groans beneath it and the hammer ever so slightly scoots across the surface. Another pull and it lifts only a centimeter up.

The others fall silent, watching in awe of what was happening before their eyes. Thor’s drink long forgotten as it tips in his hand and drips down his arm. Steve sits unmoving, watching this killer assassin, move the hammer more than he ever thought possible, by someone other than Thor.

She releases the handle with a huff and step back. “I didn’t want to be queen, anyways.” She smooths out her dress, ignoring the silence and stares from the team, sits on the arm of the couch next to Thor’s shoulder, snapping him out of his shock.

Bruce clears his throat and gestures to Net. “And, Widow?”

“Oh, no, no, no. that’s not a question I need answered.” She responds, leaning back on her elbow.

Tony, ever the skeptic, carries on with his belief. “All deference to the man who wouldn’t Be King, but it’s rigged.”

“You bet your ass.” Clint chimes in, patting Tony on the shoulder.

“Steve, he said a bad language word.” Maria calls from her place on the couch.

Steve sighs. “Did you tell everyone about that?”

--

After Sam and Wanda finally join the table, everyone orders their food and the laughter continues. Steve sits back, trying to remember everyone got to be carefree like this. He can only think of one time and even then, they were hiding from something.

--

Clint had a family. A family. And the only people who knew were Y/N and Nat. After they had all settled in and gotten washed up. The girls helped Laura get dinner ready. They laughed and drank, well Y/N and Nat did, and they caught up on everything. That night, Steve found himself standing on the porch with the burgundy haired Avenger next to him. Both sipping from a bottle of beer in their hands.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She laughs and shakes her head. “Because it wasn’t my secret to tell. He wanted to keep them safe. We all did. They’re the only family, I have. We couldn’t tell anyone.”

Steve’s gut twists at her admission. Her only family? What about the Avengers? Weren’t they a family? “They’re not you’re only family.”

She pulls her big eyes away from the night sky and turns them on him. “You don’t know anything about me, Steve? You know me as well as Tony does.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“It is true. You only see what I allow you to see.”

“Why? We’ve been working together for a long time now. How many times have we almost died together? How many times have we saved each other’s lives?”

“That’s work, Steve. That’s not personal.”

“Then let’s make it personal.”

Y/N sighs and shakes her head, looking down at her lap. “It’s not that easy.”

“Why not? You know everything about me.”

“The whole world knows everything about you. You’re an open book. They have a fucking exhibit dedicated to you at the Smithsonian for Christ sake.”

“That’s not everything. That’s what I did during the war.”

“Then tell me something that no one else knows. If you want to get personal, then you can start.” That stops him. He wasn’t expecting her to turn it around on him. “That’s what I thought. How about this, Cap. When you can be honest with me, I’ll be honest with you. It goes both ways, if you want to be a family.” She hops down from the rail and goes inside, slamming the door behind her.

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[teacherintransition]

“You go ahead, I’m just going to sit here awhile.”

Old man cliches are common, but many have more wisdom and significance than you might imagine.

Crabbed age and youth cannot live together; Youth is full of pleasure, age is full of care; Youth like summer morn, age like winter weather; Youth like summer brave, age like winter bare. Youth is full sport, age's breath is short; Youth is nimble, age is lame; Youth is hot and bold, age is weak and cold; Youth is wild, age is tame. Age, I do abhor thee; youth, I do adore thee.

William Shakespeare

Ah, the bard and his many truths; from the outside it seems clear what ol’ Bill is saying, but truth to tell this conflict between youth and age are almost always found within the same person. I can hear it now, “settle down pops” at the mere suggestion of a fire still burning in the heart or spirit of anyone over 50. Anyone who has known me the last ten years knows I have a motto, a creed, a riail den saol (rule of life) as the old Irish called it. What is this standard that I hold inviolate? ... NO OLD MAN TALK! This includes the following: so and so is in the hospital again; talk of medications; I just can’t do (activity of choosing) anymore or like I used to; the obituary page; arthritis and aches and pains in general; bragging about how little you are “in the know” about current technology; and the all time dis-favorite, “kids today!” To a slight degree I can tolerate “remember when” and intelligent discussions of music; but old man talk in general is VERBOTEN! Funeral attendance is limited to only the closest of family or the tragic loss of a student or former student, other than that, the next funeral I attend will be my own ... and then maybe.

“Geez, what’s the problem old man?”... is a common response I get for sticking to this creed. Why such a willful response? Let me make some things clear: I’m not afraid of dying, in fact since I’ve adopted a universalist, Buddhist view of things, I fear death less than I ever had. I’m not in denial of the physical limitations I experience nor am I fearful of breaking like glass. My heart for experience and adventure are greater than ever and I resent anyone or any set of thoughts placing me into any predetermined box that makes my choices for me. My worldview, rather than contracting into a close minded conservative set of unflinching principles, has become more progressive and assertive in views than I ever have held in my life. If I were 21, I’d be a radical member of a punk rock band. But, I’m not and won’t.... and I will not engage in old man talk.

An explanation is in order, in my mind and spirit and soul I am 25.... no no, I’m 32. I had it all together at 32. I was six feet 205 pounds, ran two miles four times a week and worked out regularly....I had surpassed youthful impulsiveness and was pretty sharp and, if I don’t say so myself... pretty damn attractive. Wait a minute, this is skirting closely to “remember when,” to the point, there are too many distractions that will rob us of a youthful, positive view of each day if we aren’t careful. I guess I’m sounding careful, like an old man? I know what I am: I’m 54, I retired at an early age, I live in a precarious, uncertain world, I’m excited about what I can do each day.... and to the very best of my ability, I live in the moment at hand. It took me 50 years to attain this wisdom and I ain’t giving it up for anything. The earlier Shakespeare quote is spot on and I’m going to hold onto the youthful passions over the aged restrictions with all my strength. I don’t fool myself or pretend to be something I’m not, a little Just for Men not withstanding, I’m a pretty “with it” middle aged cool ole’ guy.

As mentioned, this world we share is in a precarious state, it can easily rob you of hope and joy. It always had that ability even before 2020. To illustrate the point, I clearly remember people who were with me in my 20’s and 30’s who were already living the life of a obstinate 75 year old. That is a terrifying prospect that a person would reach a elderly mindset so young and live it over and over. In a world that advertises cliche constantly that is one that won’t sell with me. Cliches become cliches because there is some truth in them, even about those of us advancing in age. If you scratch just beneath the surface of these time worn sayings, you just might see a little spry thinking with aged wisdom. The things old guys say like the title, “you go ahead, I’m just going to sit here awhile,” probably garners the response, “the old dude can’t keep up.” Foolish mortal, I, with my youthful desire to live fully each moment, am simply take the time to admire the beautiful vista that you overlook to go shopping... again! “ I’m going to stop at just three whiskies,” to which one might reply, “can’t hang like you used to huh?” The wise response is, “no I wish to savor the taste and the feel of this fine whisky and not wear it later with the hangover that’s sure to follow sport drinking.” Ah , it’s sad that youth is wasted on the young.

I suppose true pearls of wisdom that really enrich life and don’t reduce it to a blur can only come after making the missteps of being young. I wish that many years ago I had realized that we only have now...that’s all we’ve ever had. Often we acted as if we would live forever, which is an amazing feeling, but it doesn’t compare with the intensity of pain when realizing you’ve wasted time. We spent so much time consumed with the worry of tomorrow instead of realizing there is only today. I’m not advocating being irresponsible at all just seeing the magic as it happens. Don’t let this uncertain world rob you of magic; don’t let the worries of what could happen rob you of magic; don’t let an ache or pain rob you of magic; despite your age let yourself live like a child in the sun. Old man talk, in my view, makes getting older feel like being weighed down with a millstone. I want my advancing years to echo again the words of the bard:

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

-William Shakespeare-

http://labibliotecacoffee.com/

[alonely-dreamer]

The Valuable Sun | Chapter 5

Summary: Brooklynne Stackhouse is Sookie and Jason Stackhouse’s little sister. Like her older sibling, she is a telepath, but her powers are far more stronger and far more uncontrollable than her sister’s. After a series of murders in Bon Temps, Sookie takes it upon herself to investigate, taking her younger sister with her in a club called Fangtasia, where they meet vampire and sheriff Eric Northman.

Pairing: Eric x OC

Warnings: 18+ (language, violence, blood)

A/N: Please, note that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there.

Words: 2458

Schedule: A new chapter will be posted every Monday. Chapter 6 to 9 are available on my Patreon for early and instant access.

Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Eric found an air mattress in his office which Doctor Ludwig used as an operation table. Brooklynne paced around as Bill and Eric watched the fifty-year-old dwarf take her tools out. Sookie was lying on her stomach, three giant scratches bleeding across her back. The blonde slowly woke up, though maybe it would have been better if she hadn’t.

Brooklynne started to make her way towards her sister but Eric stopped her as she walked past him. He took her hand and invited her to sit next to him.

“Let her work,” he said, and she hesitated, giving a look to her injured sister, but then taking a seat next to the vampire.

“What kind of doctor are you?” Sookie asked as she saw Patricia putting surgical gloves on.

“The healing kind,” she replied. “I’m Doctor Ludwig, what’s your name?” she asked, bringing a hand to one of the three scratches on Sookie’s back, making the telepath scream in pain.

Her screams made both Bill and Brooke jump. The vampire was standing behind the doctor, watching her every move carefully.

“Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse,” she managed to reply despite the pain. “Am I dying?”

“Yes.”

“No!” both Bill and Brooke said in unison.

“She cannot die,” Bill continued. “You will save her!”

“Back off, vampire. Let me do my job!”

“Forgive him,” Eric said. “Bill is abnormally attached to this human.”

Brooke frowned, wondering what was abnormal about caring about another person.

“Well, we don’t have a lot of choices. She’s been poisoned. You ever heard of Komodo dragons? Their mouths are teeming with bacteria. After one has bitten you, it will track you for hours, days, just waiting for the toxins to slowly eat away at your nervous system till you’re good and helpless, then it will devour you alive.”

“I was… scratched by a dragon?”

“No, but this poison is similar, but way more efficient. Don’t think I’ve seen it. It’s hard to tell without further testing and we don’t have that kind of time.”

Sookie’s breathing was getting worse and her eyes eventually found her sister, sitting not far from her, on a chair next to Eric. She’d probably have asked her what she was doing here if she had been able to.

“Give us some privacy. I need to remove her clothing. The sister can stay and assist.”

Bill reluctantly left with Eric, leaving Brooklynne alone with her dying sister. She helped the doctor remove Sookie’s shirt and held her to the mattress as she started pouring a liquid on her wounds. Sookie started screaming in pain, the smell was horrible, a mix of burning flesh and something else Brooklynne couldn’t describe. Bill came back as soon as he heard her scream and helped Brooke hold her down. The liquid might have been some kind of alcohol or magic potion, but it cleaned the wounds efficiently. Doctor Ludwig dragged her fingers inside each scratch, removing whatever substance the creature had left inside to poison Sookie. At some point during the treatment, Sookie passed out, which was for the best as the doctor wasn’t anywhere near finished.

It took about two hours for the poison to be completely out of her body. Doctor Ludwig cleaned the blood from her back with a cloth and inspected the wounds one last time before instructing Bill to feed Sookie his blood to finish the healing process.

Brooklynne was sitting on the ground, her back against the bar, exhausted by her exercises from earlier, and the memory of her sister’s screams. She saw a pair of black sneakers stop before her and she looked up to find Eric holding a hand out to her. She took it and he helped her get up. Pam and another vampire neither Brooklynne nor Sookie had ever met came back inside the club at the same time. Pam looked pissed.

“The area has been scanned,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“Tracks were human, but the smell was distinctly animal.”

“What kind?” Eric asked.

“A filthy one,” Pam answered.

“We didn’t recognize it.”

“How intriguing… Send an alert through the appropriate channels. Find out what the neighbors know.”

The two vampires nodded before they left. Brooklynne could feel her sister’s eyes on her, and she could already hear her scold her for being here. She turned slowly and saw it on her face that she wasn’t happy. She was nodding at whatever Bill was saying but wouldn’t look away from her.

“Would it be okay if we stayed here for the day?” Bill asked. “I don’t want to move her.”

“Of course. I’ll make sure she’s taken care of.”

“I don’t want to leave her.”

“Longshadow kept a coffin out back. I’ll make it available to you.”

“I thank you for your hospitality, Eric.”

“No problem. I’m sure you two will find a way to repay me,” the vampire smirked. He winked at Brooklynne before he left the room through the ‘Personnel Only’ door.

“What are you doing here, Brooke?” Sookie asked from where she was lying on the black air mattress.

“I…” the youngest Stackhouse looked down at her hands. “Eric came by the house. Brought me here,” she shrugged.

“And you went with him?”

“I was bored at the house. And he helped me control myself! I blocked the voices tonight, I’ll let you know!”

Sookie frowned. “I told you to stay away from him.”

“And I told you not to tell me what to do!”

Sookie rolled her eyes, then sighed. Her eyes landed on Bill, like she was asking him for help. The vampire raised his hands, silently telling her he wasn’t going to get involved in this fight.

“What do you mean you blocked the voices?”

“I… Well, I can control myself now. Like you.”

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?” she asked with an impressed tone. “You can’t hear me, can you?”

“No. I can’t.”

“That’s… that’s great, Brooke!” Sookie breathed out a laugh.

“Maybe, if I had been allowed to leave the house, I’d have controlled it earlier.”

“That’s not fair,” Sookie told her. “You never could control it. Gran kept you inside for a reason.”

“Yeah, well now I’m tired to be kept inside.”

Bill cleared his throat, interrupted them. “Sookie should rest, she’s been through a lot,” he told Brooklynne. “And you look like you could use some help too.”

“Go,” Sookie told him. “Go rest, we’ll be fine.”

Bill gave her a small smile, then nodded, before he followed Eric’s footsteps and left them alone. Sookie was about to say something but Brooklynne stopped her before she got the chance to open her mouth.

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it,” she said before she walked out.

***

When Brooke got out of the bathroom ten minutes after she walked in, Sookie was already asleep. She made her way to the couch in the corner and laid down, facing her sister. She fell asleep almost instantly, which was to be expected. Brooklynne tired easily.

Sookie woke up in the middle of the afternoon. She was wearing a red shirt from Fangtasia. She had nothing else to wear since her shirt had been torn to pieces by a giant bull-headed creature. She was greeted by Ginger who was cleaning up the club. It was Ginger’s scream that woke up Brooklynne. She jumped awake to see her big sister pointing a gun at the waitress, or whatever Ginger’s job was.

“What…” she breathed out. ���Sookie!”

“Eric’s been keeping Lafayette in the basement,” she explained. “Take me to him!” she ordered Ginger.

The two sisters followed her down the dark and cold basement where they found their friend sitting in a corner at the other end of the room.

“Oh my God,” Brooke breathed out as she saw the chains around his neck.

“Give me the key!”

“I don’t have it, I swear!”

“Lafayette,” Sookie called as she crouched down near him. “Lafayette are you okay?”

“Sookie? Is that really you?”

“What happened to his leg?” Brooke asked Ginger.

“I… I… I shot him.”

“You what?!”

“He was trying to escape! Eric would have killed me!”

Brooklynne felt like she was going to be sick. The smell, the view… it was all too much. I can’t believe Eric would do that, she thought. But then, she realized, she could indeed believe it. She could almost hear Sookie say I told you so.

***

Sookie waited patiently for the night to fall. Brooklynne avoided her gaze for the rest of the afternoon. She had returned to the couch where she had fallen asleep and started to regret having told Eric she’d go to Dallas with him. When she got the courage to tell her sister about what she had done, Sookie had said she wouldn’t be going anywhere with Eric, especially not to Dallas, and especially not alone.

Bill woke up first and was relieved to see Sookie awake and in good health. Sookie wasn’t as happy to see him, but she hugged him back when he took her into his arms. He frowned when she didn’t smile back at him.

“Are you still angry about our fight? Sookie, none of that matters now…”

“You’re right. I’m alive and in once piece, unlike my friend Lafayette who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death!”

“What?”

“You better not have known anything about this, Bill Compton, because if you did, I don’t think I could ever forgive you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“She’s referring to the human in my basement,” Eric said as he joined them into the room. Brooke looked up at him but then looked away when he looked back. “The human that traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood. Which, as you know, is a grave offense.”

“His name is Lafayette,” Sookie snarled at him as she went his way, “and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for what you’ve done to him!” she said before she slapped him as hard as she could. Eric barely budged.

“Sookie!” Bill reprimanded her, worried as to how Eric was going to react.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he told her with a smile. “And may I add, that color suits you very well.”

“Go to Hell!”

“Sookie, enough!” Bill stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh, it’s not nearly enough! They’ve tortured him and bitten him and shot him and kept him down there in his own filth for weeks!”

She paused, waiting for an answer from the vampire, but it’s Bill who spoke up first.

“Is this true?”

“There are others who would have done far worse, and you know it.”

“You’re gonna let him go right now or I swear I’m going to the police!”

Eric instantly growled at her, showing his fangs, his face inches from hers, the sudden movement making Sookie jump. Brooklynne jumped on her feet, worried the vampire would hurt her sister.

“I do not respond well to threats,” he told her.

She swallowed but didn’t move. Eric’s pupils moved to the corner of his eyes where they found Brooklynne a few feet away. He then looked back at Sookie as he stepped away.

“But perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement,” he smiled. “Please,” he gestured for her to follow him. “You too,” he told Brooklynne.

The young telepath hesitated but knew she didn’t really have a choice. She looked at him warily as she approached, making sure she stayed close to her sister as they walked out of the club and into Eric’s office.

It was a small room, big enough for a desk, two chairs, a couch and a few shelves where he had stocked boxes of Tru Blood. He leaned against his desk and started to explain what it would take for him to let Lafayette go.

“Your sister already agreed to come with me to Dallas.”

“Brooklynne isn’t going anywhere alone with you. You took advantage of her!”

“I did no such thing,” the vampire said, and he sounded almost offended. Not for him, but for Brooklynne. “I asked and she said yes.”

“She didn’t know any better!”

Brooklynne would have felt insulted if she didn’t think her sister had a point. She should have listened to her sibling. The fact that she was surprised he had kidnapped and tortured Lafayette for weeks proved that she wasn’t ready to make decisions for herself, not when it came to Eric anyway. She should have known better. He was a vampire, after all. But then again, so was Bill. And Bill would never do such a thing, or else Sookie wouldn’t be with him.

“You can come too, if you want. Two telepaths is better than one, I suppose.”

Sookie frowned. “If I go to Dallas and help you find your friend, then you’ll let Lafayette go?”

“You are not going to Dallas,” Bill protested. “You almost died last night!”

“I am old enough to make my own decisions, Bill.”

“I will pay all of your expenses, of course,” Eric interrupted the couple. “And, yes, I will release your friend.”

“And I want $5000. For both of us,” she said, looking at Brooklynne who feared it wasn’t a good idea to be bargaining with Eric right now. Bill gave her a reproving look to which she responded: “What? I’ve missed a lot of work and I need a driveway. And Brooke’s never worked a day in her life, she could use the money.”

Brooke chose to stay silent and avoided Eric’s gaze when he turned to look at her. She felt stupid for trusting him. For spending the night on his lap while Lafayette was suffering in the basement. She was ashamed of herself.

“Your human is getting cocky,” Eric said silently. He obviously didn’t appreciate her negotiating with him.

“They will take $10000 each, and I will escort them,” was Bill’s response.

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Yes,” Sookie insisted. “Ten thousand and Bill comes with me or it’s a deal breaker.”

Eric considered it. She gave another look at Brooklynne who was still looking at her feet, looking like she had just been caught doing something bad.

“You surprise me,” he told Sookie. “And that is a rare quality in a breather.”

“You disgust me,” Sookie merely replied.

“Perhaps I’ll grow on you,” he said, as his eyes fell on Brooklynne once more.

“I’d prefer cancer.”

Bill tried hard not to smile too much at the exchange.

“You need to leave immediately,” Eric told the vampire.

“I will make the travel arrangements. But I will need your credit-card number.”

Eric nodded. “See you in Dallas.”

**********

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