#so it seems reasonable that big thought porsche knew

[fromperdition4]

Big's Intentions

In Episode 4, Porsche finally learns that Kinn is gay (and boy, does he) - first, through an awkward interaction that's orchestrated by Big: he asks Porsche to take in a special delivery for Kinn just as he was about to arrive with a guest, and he tells Porsche to go right in instead of knocking.

Big essentially outs Kinn here, and Porsche (rightfully) calls him out for it.

The thing is - I don't know if Big thought he was outing Kinn?

So, we know Big's primary motivation here is jealousy.

Big is in love with Kinn, and he hated being replaced as head bodyguard - especially by Porsche, who takes every opportunity to provoke him.

Tonight, Big is the instigator - he strolls up to Porsche just to mock him for being demoted:

But Porsche fires back in an unexpected (Mean Girls-esque) way:

To Porsche, this was simply a dig at Big's status as an employee - it's the equivalent of someone bragging to their coworker about getting to have lunch with the boss.

But is that how Big took it?

Later on, after the whole awkward incident with Kinn, we see Porsche debriefing with Pete, who says he assumed Porsche knew Kinn was gay because everyone knows that.

So, what if Big had that same assumption? And what if he took Porsche's brag to be a dig at Big's feelings for Kinn?

Then maybe what Big actually wanted was to give Porsche a wake-up call - to make him realize that Kinn will never cross the line with him, because he has so many better options than to get involved with a bodyguard. To give him the same lesson that Big has had to learn, over time.

If that were the case, then Big would have expected Porsche to come out of Kinn's room demoralized - maybe even a little heartbroken - after seeing him get cozy with someone else. Someone who's pretty, and sweet, and just Kinn's type.

Unlike Porsche. (or Big)

But instead, Porsche comes out feeling awkward simply because he interrupted Kinn in an intimate moment. Which leads him to chastise Big, while tilting everything Big thought he knew off-balance.

...

Or, that's one possibility, at least!

Whatever Big's motivation was here, it ultimately backfired. All it did was give Porsche a chance to take the moral high ground, and give Kinn a chance to see Porsche in a whole new light.

[redlegumes]

Dec 4th: There can only be one Santa driving a DeLorean

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles

prompt: Meet-cute at work | AO3: link | wc: 999 | rating: T | cw: none | tags: mechanic au, matching sweaters, bad flirting

Summary: Steve's the new hire at the garage and once Eddie finally meets him (the day of the holiday party) he can't stop flirting.

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ō͡≡o₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Eddie was in early. He’d forgotten to finish an alignment, and he knew Mrs. Teitler would be in as early as possible to pick up her Corvette. The old bat was crazy but punctual.

He handled most of the specialty work on Chevys that came into the shop and paint jobs, but it seemed like the garage kept growing. Eddie wasn’t too surprised. Everyone needed a reliable mechanic in Indianapolis, and Rick’s Place had earned their great reputation in car care. That was the main reason why he figured he hadn’t run into the newest hire before. Now here he was, in the garage at six am, tooling around on some German-made automobile.

Rick had hired the guy to handle imports specifically, and if the tales around the coffee pot were true, ‘Steve’ left a pretty sweet gig to be a grease monkey. The guys said he’d worked at some big company downtown that his father ran, but he hated it so he quit. Whelp, gotta stop knowing him just through rumors, Eddie thought, walking over to the bay Steve was working in. As he came closer he saw a small radio set up, playing a Christmas station.

Continues after the cut

“Trying to get into the spirit for tonight? It’s not quite as formal as I assume an office Christmas party might be.” Eddie chuckled as he heard a muffled ‘ow’ from under the chassis. “Whoops. Sorry if I spooked you.”

A stupidly attractive man rolled out from under the Porsche. Lustrous brown hair, light brown eyes, a light tan, and sweet pink lips that had to get him attention everywhere he took them. Eddie fought to stop from quickly inhaling his next breath after the reveal. Steve was the handsome Eddie normally avoided because of the ego that often came with it.

Steve rubbed a redding spot on his forehead and frowned. “Not your fault. I haven’t done that in ages. Try not to.” His eyes focused on Eddie before widening slightly.

Eddie’s heart rate sped up as he saw Steve’s cheeks turn a light pink. ‘Cause he’s embarrassed… right?

“I, uh, used to play a few sports, and it’s a bit of a priority for me not to get any more concussions.”

“Oh my God.” I’m a complete ass. “Are you sure you're okay?” Eddie bent down and offered a hand to help Steve off the creeper, hoping his own blush was under control as Steve took it.

“Yeah. I’d know,” Steve replied, shooting him a wry smile. Steve also squeezed Eddie’s hand before letting it go.

Squeeze of thanks, or? Shit… I wanna read into that so bad. Eddie bit his lower lip. He’d just met this guy and he was already trying to see if he was sending him signals. Eddie promised himself he wouldn’t harbor same sex crushes anymore. His heart couldn’t take another incident where drawn out pining eventually ended when he learned the other guy was straight.

“Mandatory office holiday parties are the worst. Office politics plus liquor. I'm glad tonight is just a festive drop in thing at Alexei’s after work.”

“So you’re better at casual get togethers,” Eddie said before he could stop himself. Did I wink at him? Christ.

Steve chuckled. “I prefer longer engagements, with the right people.”

The smiling eye contact Steve paired with the statement sent Eddie reeling. He knew he should cool off, run. Steve was a brand new coworker, but the possibility that Steve was flirting back had Eddie leaning in.

“I’m Eddie Munson. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself sooner.”

Steve took the hand and gave it a quick shake but didn’t let go. “I know, saw your picture with Rick in the hall. I'm Steve.”

Eddie’s mouth went dry and his eyes briefly panned down Steve’s body. I bet he’s built. His eyes stopped on the way back up at Steve’s neckline. Oh hell no.

Just like the poor filter from his brain to his mouth Eddie had a similar problem stopping his hand from dropping Steve’s, reaching up, and zipping down his coveralls. “You can't wear that,” Eddie said, whinier than he’d wanted to.

“Wha- What?” Steve’s face was completely flushed now.

Without pause Eddie pulled the zipper down from his coveralls. He was wearing a Christmas sweater that depicted Santa, riding through the skies in a DeLorean. So was Steve.

“I- oh, Oh!” Steve doubled over laughing; it was infectious.

When Eddie stopped laughing he tugged on one of Steve’s sweater sleeves. “Where’d you even get that? I found mine in this weird novelty shop across from the ga… bar, the bar I regularly go to.”

“Early Christmas gift. My best friend and I saw it in a store window and it uh, reminded her of some stuff from when we were teens.”

“Well, one of us will have to change. Otherwise we’ll be the butt of every joke tonight.” Briefly Eddie thought about smearing Steve with some grease in the garage, or spilling coffee on him. But the fondness the guy spoke with when he mentioned his friend buying it for him halted those plans. “I mean, I’ve probably got something else out in my van I could throw on. Just won’t be as ‘festive,’” he added, wriggling his fingers as he said it.

“I wouldn’t mind matching with you, but if you say you need to take it off…” Steve cocked his head to the side, staring straight into Eddie’s eyes. There was no mistaking it now. Steve, the new hire, was flirting with him. “Do you think you need an extra hand?”

“Changing?” Eddie swallowed audibly.

“Mmmhmm. If you’ve got time, I mean you must’ve come in early to finish something?” Steve's coy smile waned and his brow furrowed slightly with concern that he was about to derail Eddie’s morning plans. In all reality, Steve might have derailed Eddie’s plans for the rest of the year. Mrs. Teitler could wait.

“Stevie, I’ve got all the time in the world for you.”

2023 RedLegumes Steddiemas 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 SteddieHolidayDrabbles 1 2 3 4 6 8 9 10

[artpo]

@kpquickndirty had a nap and my subconsciousness blessed me with this

Rating is Explicit

Tags: Sex is mentioned, but not described in much detail, just for the mental images; Kinn tasted the peach and wants more; HOWEVER Porsche follows a principle (not for long tho lol)

Kinn’s thoughts after he wakes up from one-night stand with Porsche. Turns out he is in for a mean surprise.

Kinn’s eyes blink open. The mattress underneath him is high-quality and very comfortable, but it's not his own. There’s a beautiful, fancy lamp on the ceiling. There’s a weight on his outstretched arm, his torso and his legs.

Kinn looks to his left, greeted with the sleeping face of the hot bartender he slept with last night. Porsche threw his arm and leg over Kinn’s body.

Kinn hasn't been used to the feeling of another body pressed to his for the whole night and after fucking in a long time. It's strange, but somehow he isn't bothered by it, by the whole situation.

Last night when Tay and Time dragged him to this Hum Bar he couldn't begin to imagine that he would end in bed with someone. Random hookups are not something he can afford to do for safety reasons, and the familiar routine of rotating his favorite escorts who knew by now how to please him was much too comfortable.

All of his principles shattered when he saw the gorgeous bartender last night. Shaking the drinks, charming the customers, hot in his natural environment. Watching Porsche, with his unbuttoned black shirt tucked in his jeans to accentuate that lithe waist, hurrying around on his beautiful long legs to serve everyone made Kinn have one single thought. He had to have him.

Kinn got into action. Sat at the bar, ordered whiskey, undressed Porsche with his eyes and flirted aggressively. When he got his name, he sent it to Arm for a quick background check. Big was tasked with reserving them a hotel room. Kinn forgot about his friends, but they most likely got the memo as he was not very subtle.

It worked. By the end of Porsche’s shift he had him once in the backroom of the Hum Bar, before they could even get to the hotel. It was fast, hot and heavy. Too fast for both of them it seemed since Porsche had no objections when Kinn proposed the hotel.

The second round revealed Porsche had a praise kink and it made Kinn crazy about him even more. Kinn almost came in his clothes just from whispering filthy praise in his ear as he jerked off the naked Porsche in front of the mirror.

Porsche made Kinn feral when he got him out of his pants and pushed him in his hole, that was still open from the backroom. Kinn had him for the second time that night, hard and slower, relishing their image in the mirror.

After that, Porsche was ready to leave. Kinn should have let him go. Instead, he asked him to stay.

"The night is long," he'd said.

And the night was long. After rest, Kinn had him for the third time. In bed. The image of Porsche underneath him should be displayed in museums. His head was back, his long sensitive neck with purple and angry red marks exposed, his eyes shut, his parted lips making sinful sounds.

Kinn can’t recall the last time sex felt that good. What are the chances Kinn found a stranger who's so compatible to him in bed?

Porsche’s eyes blink open and he pats Kinn’s cheek, there's a smirk on his face. "Good morning, creeper."

Kinn rolls his eyes and swats his hand away. "Good morning."

Porsche stretches and sits up suddenly, detaching his body from Kinn’s. Kinn already misses the contact.

Porsche looks at the digital clock at the bedside table and he is up at his feet in three seconds. "Shit! I need to go!"

Kinn is almost too distracted by his gorgeous body to respond, "I can get you wherever you need."

Porsche is scrambling around the room to find his clothes. He puts his shirt on and smiles at Kinn. "Nah, don't worry. I'll be out of your hair in a minute."

Kinn sits up. His heart is thumping, one of them needs to bring it up first. "There’s no hurry. And in the car, we can discuss the next meet-up?"

Porsche is putting his pants on. He bites his lip. "Don't get me wrong, Kinn. Last night was amazing. However, the hook-up thing... I only do it once and I'm not willing to change that."

Kinn feels like it would be better to be shot than hear what just came out of Porsche’s mouth. Without exaggeration. Surely, they could strike up some kind of deal to only have sex.

Instead of an actual proposition, Kinn simply says, "No".

Porsche raises his eyebrow. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

Kinn doesn't answer, staring at him as he moves on to the doorway bend down and puts on his converse shoes.

Porsche straightens up and sighs. "Look Kinn, it's nothing personal. I gotta jet now, but come get a drink sometime again, yeah?"

With that he's out of the door.

Oh, I will come and have more than just a drink. Just you wait. Kinn thinks bitterly.

...

Remix if anyone wants to :3

[daeyeol4you]

The Chay Rewatch Ep 8

Ep 1 & 2, Ep 3, Ep 4, Ep 5, Ep 6, Ep 7

Ep 8 - Chay flies his red flag

Okay this one has nothing to do with ep 8 but rather a thing about ep 7’s Chay Outfit I just realized!

Chay’s shirt said Vendredi which means Friday in French. Well, when else have we connected Chay to Fridays? It's so blink and you miss it! In ep 4, Kim sings “Your laughter that makes me feel like it’s Friday” as Chay watches on from the crowd. I’ve already gone into how this song foreshadows the KimChay relationship and Kim’s inevitable heartbreak-induced songwriting, but that shirt being a direct callback to that song is so intense to me! (I also was totally not rewatching that ep at 2 am that is so not relevent)

Chay’s shirts are such a treasure trove I’m obsessed, costuming I am your biggest fan

Time: 18:55 – 20:59 – Kim Take Up Coloring

I want to know the point of these maps so bad, are they territory lines or areas Kim can go without running into Chay (since he’s in his first ignore his own feelings and Chay era)

Kim also has an old-fashioned gramophone and records, which is definitely something he and Chay bonded over during their many not-dates

Kim’s outfit: A blue, gray, and black colorblock overshirt with a plain white shirt underneath as well as his silver jewelry, this time with a corded silver chain that I adore.

The pictures they chose for the parents’ photos make them seem like socialites

The way I always forget we get the dad’s name too. Chayapat, wild

“Do you watch too many movies?” – you say just before you blurt out the most telenovela plot idea ever of the mom being your father’s mistress

I wonder how much Kim thought about that, the idea that Porsche & Chay could be his father’s kids. Maybe that’s another reason for Kim to start ignoring Chay. He knows he’s falling for Chay, but he’s trying to keep his feelings from developing further until he knows

I don’t like the pseudo-incest plotline that comes in later on, mainly because we’d already seen KinnPorsche fuck nasty a billion times, but also because there’s no setup outside of this one comment from Kim. If they really wanted to commit pseudo-incest, there needs to be a much more intricate setup

Does Kim really want to move on from investigating Porsche? Or does he just want to run away from his feelings for Chay?

Okay the phone call – I’m 99% sure that’s Chay calling, especially since we know Chay asks why Kim’s dodging his calls. I compared the Thai spelling of his name to the name on the phone, and I think it's similar. Who else would Kim be ignoring like that?

Kim looks pissed when he goes back to his coloring. Mad at himself for developing feelings for Chay? Mad at himself for ignoring Chay? Emotional constipation in general?

Time: 35:40 – 38:12 – Chay pulls a Kim

I have so many questions about how Chay found Kim’s apartment. Kim most certainly did not bring him there, so Chay had to do some stalking. His excuse that he asked a friend is so paper thin. Kim would never bring a friend home, and which one would Chay ask?

He probably already knew from his Wik obsession but knew that going there was a big no. Now tho? He has an excuse to show up at Kim’s unannounced like Kim did to him

The MC friend doesn’t seem close to Kim, judging by how when Kim actually rolls up to class, he gives him the news about Chay he could have texted meaning he doesn’t know how to contact Kim or just isn’t close enough to do so. The rehearsal space friend is more plausible, but I digress

KimChay really is Stalker for Stalker

Kim’s Outfit: A really cute pumpkin-colored jacket with a black shirt and pants combo. I really like his black leather boots. They seem way more function than fashion. A new silver chain but his usual rings and earrings I think

Chay’s Outfit: another plaid shirt look that so works for him. I like to call this Chay’s angel look. He’s in a cream-colored plaid shirt with faint blue and orangish details as well as a white shirt. White Converse too. His silver pendant has some kind of design but I can’t tell what.

The lighting and set really paint Chay as the light and Kim as the dark. You’ve got Kim whose legs blend into the dark colors of the foyer and then Chay who stands as a bright beacon in the street under the sun. He’s not involved in the mafia yet, so he remains a bright, unrestrained light.

Chay’s cute little stance as he bamboozles Kim (& he def bamboozles Kim). He’s just so excited to see his target- sorry his crush!

I love the emotions Kim inadvertently shows during this scene. He’s so cold, but you can tell he’s so caught off guard by Chay and his genuine feelings, and he’s so heart eyes about Chay’s red flags. He’s still being a dick trying to brush Chay off, but you also see his hard-shell cracking

Chay you are so accidentally freaky I love you

Chay, to me, is so powerful. He sees the brush off Kim is trying to give him, but he stands his ground. He’s no people pleaser, and I don’t think he’s doing this to keep Kim’s romantic attention. He’s fully aware of the opportunity being tutored by someone like Kim is, because he’s a kid that always had to scrape by. Letting this go without a fight, without doing everything he could to keep it is not something he’s hardwired to do

Chay’s really funny – the guitar stand bit made me giggle (him being funny, hopeful, or happy often is mislabeled as him being childish or naïve but I digress y’all know my thoughts on that)

I’m sorry but the name on the sign behind Chay being ‘The Mystery,’ no wonder Kim lives there

Chay’s so talented, raw but talented. Clean up the song a bit, give him some vocal training, and you’ll have a really catchy song and probably will do numbers online

Excuse you Mr. Security guard man! Can you not see he’s trying to serenade someone! Also why choose now to interrupt and not at the beginning? Bro decided to give him a chance at least lol

And now he places the ball in Kim’s court. Chay may be a touch obsessive and freaky, but he knows what lines he can and can’t cross. Asking Kim to tell him what he thinks and immediately leaving gives Kim space as well as leaving an open dialogue

Kim’s face as Chay walks away shows how conflicted he feels. He is aware that he’s developing feelings for Chay, but he’s also doubly aware that something fishy is going on within his family. He has so much conflict because Kim’s not an emotional person. He cares about his brothers (and that’s from a distance), and he’s suspicious of his father that’s it. Kim has to grow as a person if he wants to love Chay

Overall Chay Rating (Chrating): A

This ep has my favorite Chay and Kim outfits I won’t lie. I love how they (on purpose or not) match the set as well as who these two characters are at this point in time. Chay is still completely unaware of the mafia so he stays in the light while Kim is entrenching himself in his family’s secrets and trying to push Chay away leaving him in the dark. Chay also shows how much of a fighter he is. He's a strong independent character! He's emotionally mature and capable of making his own decisions! He isn’t going to let Kim slink away without at least being able to say he did everything he could. He’s letting them either end on a completed note for Chay or continue to grow closer if that’s what Kim wants. Chay always allows others to have a choice in what they do next, we’ve seen this with Chay backing down after Kim seems uncomfortable & here where Chay leaves without making Kim answer him before he’s ready. This episode also begins to drop hints that Nampueng is more important to Korn than previously thought. Damn, I wish the Kimspiracy Board had actually had a real hold on the plot instead of being inevitably useless and forgotten.

[sharktofu]

middle of the night [kinn/porsche]

Got prompted by sweet @astrecora​, as she slowly tumbles into the hell that is KinnPorsche. Completely spoilers free!

Read below the cut or right here on AO3.

“Just for tonight - I know you can’t run away, but… But run away with me for tonight.”

The night is warm, the streets are empty and adrenaline is singing in his veins.

The arms around his waist are heavy and branding, and possessive.

     “Let’s leave.”  

     “I can’t. Father will…”  

     “Just for tonight - I know you can’t run away, but… But run away with me for tonight.”  

     “Promise to get me back home before sunrise?”  

     “Promise, Cinderella.”  

     “She only had until midnight - is this all you’re gonna give me?”  

     “Shut up.”  

Porsche feels the freest like this - speeding through the deserted streets of Bangkok, feeling wind smacking his body, feeling the vibration of the powerful engine between his legs.

He usually doesn’t have a passenger, not for this kind of rides - when he just wants to feel, just wants to be alive.

Most people don't believe that he’s only careless with his own life. They brand him reckless and a threat, and they’re not wrong. There is a big difference, though, between Porsche trying his own immortality and any of his friends or charges.

Usually, he’s not that free with Kinn at his back.

Usually, he’s more careful, but they have only tonight and Porsche wants to feel.

Porsche wants Kinn to feel alive.

 What a pair they make.

     “I love you.”  

     “Someone will hear you!”  

     “I know. I don’t care. Porsche…”  

     “I love you too, but please Kinn…”  

     “Okay, yeah…” 

He makes a last-minute turn in front of a speeding car and something inhuman in his blood sings. Kinn’s arms tighten around him, but that’s the most of his reaction.

Porsche is struck by how much Kinn trusts him.

It makes his head spin.

They stop abruptly in some dark alleyway with a single light above a back door.

For a second Porsche wonders if he drove them to Yok’s unconsciously. Though he knows the back of Yok’s bar like his own home, and while every dark alley looks the same - especially at night - he knows they’re on unfamiliar ground.

Like they always are with each other.

Porsche takes off his helmet and taps his fingers on Kinn’s arms as a sign to let go.

“You okay?” he asks, barely turning in the embrace.

Kinn holds on.

“You’re a demon,” his  lover boss friend   Kinn answers with an audible smirk.

“I thought you knew that already,” Porsche shrugs and rolls his neck, releasing the tension built there.

Kinn sees the nervousness hidden under the motion and presses a warm kiss to the base of his nape. Porsche doesn’t slump in relief at the sweet, loving gesture, but it feels like he melts in Kinn’s arms.

“How did you even manage to get us out of the compound with no one following us?”

“There’s a reason I’m your head of security - and it’s not because I’m good in bed.”

“Hmm,” Kinn hums, placing another gentle kiss on Porsche’s skin. “My father will never let you go.”

     “Your loyalty is to the Theerapnyakuls, Porsche. Remember that. You’ve signed your life away and any betrayal will be punished. Permanently.”  

     “I know, Khun Korn. I understand.”  

     “Be sure that you do, Porsche.” 

“Probably not,” Porsche answers and hopes his voice doesn’t give away his discomfort.

Kinn can read him like a book.

“You’re safe with me, darling.”

“That’s my line, Mr. I-Need-Bodyguards,” Porsche finally twists in the other man’s grasp - a feat seeing as Kinn’s palms seem glued to the dip of Porsche’s waistline. “You’re safe with me.”

“Oh, I know that,” Kinn smirks at him - playful and free, and Porsche feels.

He curls his arms around Kinn’s neck and pulls him in a hungry kiss.

They kiss like it’s the first time, like the fire that got ignited and threatens to eat everything in its path. Kinn’s hands tighten, forming deep bruises on his skin and dragging half-formed moans out of Porsche.

 The mafia boss pulls him closer - so their chests touch and Porsche’s legs are deliciously spread over Kinn’s thighs. The bodyguard pulls at Kinn’s short, dark hair and the man growls into the kiss.

“Tease,” Kinn pulls away and admires the breathless picture his lover paints.

Porsche’s pristine white shirt is rumpled and mostly unbuttoned - and when did this happen? - while his eyes are dark and blown up with desire.

It’s a picture no one can resist.

Kinn leans in for another hungry, all-consuming kiss, but Porsche pushes him away gently. He stops immediately and simply watches Porsche for any sign that he crossed a line.

Isn’t it intoxicating that someone like the great Kinn Theerapanyakul would do anything someone like Porsche (nothing) would want?

“You spoiled me,” Porsche laughs and despite how clearly Kinn sees his uneasiness over something, he doesn’t press. “I’m not fucking you on the bike.”

“But I could give you the ride of your life,” Kinn winks at him and enjoys the sight of his Porsche laughing - head thrown back and loud with joy. Unrestrained.

(Kinn loves him like that.)

Porsche leans back on the motorcycle, legs locked around Kinn, and smirks at him. He grabs a cigarette from his breast pocket and places it between his lips.

“Got any light?” he asks cheekily, enjoying how Kinn’s eyes cannot leave his mouth.

“I’m sure I can find some,” Kinn slides his hands over the length of Porsche’s legs until they reach the bodyguard’s waistline.

“You and your fascination with my waist,” Porsche huffs, rolling his eyes as Kinn kneads at his midriff in a parody of searching for a lighter in Porsche’s pants pockets.

“Not my fault it’s perfect for holding onto,” Kinn smiles at the punched-out breath that leaves the bodyguard’s body when he squeezes the muscles under his hands.

Porsche’s eyes are bright with both warning and a challenge.

Kinn decides to back off for now and puts the little flame to Porsche’s cigarette.

His face lights up and the born shadows create an illusion of kohl-painted eyes looking at Kinn with desire.

“Ever tried make-up?” he asks, watching as Porsche fills his lungs with smoke and exhales slowly.

“Yes. Why?”

Kinn’s body spasms at the fantasy of ruining Porsche’s carefully painted face - black eyeliner running down his cheeks and red lipstick smeared over his mouth…

“Oh, oh. You’re having some dirty thoughts, aren’t you? Dirty old man,” Porsche laughs, taking another drag of the cigarette.

His every inhale is punctuated by the small circle that lights up both their faces.

“Who are you calling old?”

“That’s what you take offense at? Not the ‘dirty’ part?”

Kinn shrugs.

“You look straight out of porn. Even a saint wouldn’t be able to resist you.”

“Flatterer,” Porsche looks to the side, feeling his cheeks burn.

“Is it flattery, when I’m telling the truth?” Kinn answers, grabbing Porsche’s chin so the man has to stare right into the mafioso’s eyes.

“You’ve already got me,” Porsche tells him and tosses the cigarette on the pavement. Then he pulls Kinn on top of himself, enjoying the heavy weight of the other man’s body. “No need to charm me anymore.”

“One day,” Kinn cups Porsche’s cheek and runs gentle fingers over his skin. “One day I’ll make you understand how wonderful and precious you are.”

“Can’t wait,” Porsche smiles, open and carefree, and hopeful.

“One day,” Kinn repeats and seals his promise with a kiss.

The cigarette’s light dies down, forgotten,  in the middle of the night.

[hummingbirdsinjune]

It's getting too close to being over 😭 Ep 11 of ABAAB already??

- King Jack has returned from war. Eat em up, babe

- Gungawin confirmed it. Cher is the boss

- Cher going "eugh" at Gun calling him babe is all I'll ever need in life

- glad to see them back to flirting in front of God and their coworkers

- 🤨 that's suspicious. Where ARE you going, Cher?

- We have about 2 too many longing looks

- look y'all Gun is doing actual work for the first time

- that whole hair washing scene was so cute I'm ready to die

- empty bed scene 😬 Cher what are you doing I know you're 23 but get your communication together

- (deep sigh of relief)

- (redacts deep sigh of relief)

- I cannot, and I stress this, watch Gun's heart get broken AGAIN by the boy who said he'd stay and left AGAIN

- Gun's mom can eat rocks. And so can Cher for listening. This just shows that internalizing everyone's opinion of you is bad

- "you have to be happy" let your partner tell you if they're happy or not and let that be the only voice you listen to on that topic smh I did not want this this late in this silly little show

- hallucinating your boyfriend who just broke up with you as a coping mechanism

- "am I too stupid to recognize anything?" No but I saw someone theorize you have a touch of the 'tism and baby it might be true

- Porsche "Cher seems reasonable and sensible" 😂 that's one interpretation

- there better not be some big time jump I've had enough of them

- hallucinating your boyfriend that you suddenly left + having a fit in bed over your own choices

- God, Cher, I knew Porsche's words were going to eat themselves. All your intrusive thoughts don't always have to win

[goodbyeapathy8]

11,18,25 weird writer asks

Weird Writer Asks (Ask Me Game) 11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? - I have a huuuuge graveyard. It didn't use to be the case but oddly, I've been killing a lot of stories lately because I'm not happy with the direction they're going and also, AuDHD brain has been stressed and therefore having extra difficulty these days. They live in my computer as I just download them offline (vs cloud storage) and then they guilt me, like the rest of my WIPs lol 18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage. - “I feel the same way, Big,” Chan said, amusement dancing in his eyes and a smile on his face. “I’m glad it was you that Porsche chose for the ghost marriage. Also, who says you have to say goodbye to anyone? It seems like we’re stuck like this, forever, and you also seem rather fond of Porsche now… you don’t have to spend all your time with me, you know. I’m a big boy. I can go visit people, too, when you’re gone.” - After Death My spiritual beliefs kinda spurred this whole story but this moment is particularly indicative of my beliefs. Death, to me, isn't the end of someone. Even if you don't look at it from a spiritual perspective, I believe a person lives on in our memories instead of death being so final. So, with Chan reminding Big that he doesn't need to leave behind his ability to "visit" Porsche in his dreams, was a way of writing that in. I knew I wanted to incorporate that idea into that story, that those who have left us don't really leave us and sometimes come back to provide comfort. It's one of my biggest pet peeves about Western (white) culture and I think a large reason why so many people struggle with the idea of death, because it's so finalized (thanks to Christianity, I feel). Once people are gone, they're gone - either in heaven, hell, purgatory, etc. At least in Korean shamanism, we don't believe that to be the case and I find it comforting that you don't have to say goodbye. 25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Ooooh there are so many that are actually relevant to my stories so... hard to choose lol I try to make hyper-specific details be relevant (because it's one of my Autism things). For the most part, I model Kinn's character over a typical corporate employee. It never really comes up (unless it's my Locked In fic, which is specifically set in a corporate background). I think of his character as very set and strict and very much always "for the good of the corporation" which honestly... mafia... corporations... can't tell the difference these days LOL Thanks for these thought-provoking asks!!

[aprilblossomgirl]

I was thinking of adding my Kim-Chay notes after this episode, but I thought this should come first.

One of the things I found a bit surprising this episode is how it made Korn reveals two things at once when Porsche came to confront him about only one thing. The first thing is about how Porsche was tricked into working with the main Theerapanyakul family (which is one Porsche actually wanted to confront about). And the second thing is about Porsche's parent's car accident.

I think the connection seems a bit off, and these come to mind:

If the reason Korn took Porsche into the mafia, tricking him to be Kinn's bodyguard, because he felt guilty for covering up his parents' accident case and wanted to help the kids, why not doing it since the start? With the resources he had, it shouldn't be impossible to do the searching, should it?

Considering Korn covered the case because the driver is his friend, why shoving his information to Porsche now?

Korn must be keeping a tab on Kim (I'm sure he did this to all his kids) to realize he already learned about the car accident. So maybe he decided to tell Porsche before things got out of hand by risking him learning it from others(?) But still, he left out an important fact which Porsche learned through the picture his uncle gave him.

What's more behind the car accident? How did Korn actually know Porsche's parents? Yes, I read the book and knew the connection, but the show gave us some significant shifts I can no longer rely on the book. So, it's speculating time.

What's the possibility of Gun involvement in the case, and how?

Looking back at Kim's 'murder board,' there must be a more extensive case in which Porsche's parents' accident was only an element (as mapped by Kim himself). So perhaps this was something Kim's actually aiming to put the pieces together and eventually 'resolve'? So that's why in this episode, we didn't see him making any action regarding the information about Korn hiding the accident? Or maybe he did; it was just not shown here?

Now the main mafia plot is slowly revealing itself (an internal/family-centered conflict, I assumed), I am not so patiently waiting for this big case to unfold and how it will affect the Theerapanyakul clan in its entirety. I, for one, desperately need to know Korn's motives behind all of this.

As for the final showdown, would it be the main vs. second Theerapanyakul? Or would it be the older vs. the younger Theerapanyakul (if this could even be considered an option)? Will there be a shift of power within either one? In two weeks we should get the answers.

Ps: And what happened to my Chay-Tankhun-Arm-Pol bonding time agenda. We need to have some serious talk.

[artemisvexing]

Kimchay Episode 12

I've got so many feelings about Porchay, man.

*light criticism on characterization*

For one thing, I'm annoyed. I get recklessness and I get wanting to feel something but why not get drunk with your friends at one of their houses? I feel like Porsche and Porschay are both way more naive than they should be, especially for Porsche having been an underground fighter and having worked in a bar. You can't tell me he wouldn't have told Porchay something (then again, he's not in a listening mode right now, is he?)

Futhermore, I don't think Porchay has ever had the time, space or the resources to unpack being kidnapped. Combine all this with his admittedly rough childhood and well...Does he really have any healthy coping mechanisms, (other than his music, which would make things worse for several reasons)? (I would like to mention that being kidnapped at your own house should probably make you want to get drunk and potentially high in public even less, though)

But at the same time, I get it. He's a teen, he's a kid. Not only does he feel like he lost his only family let, but he lost who he thought Kim was. He even lost his idol, P'Wik. Not to mention that he's having to figure out who he is without his brother, who seems to be doing the same in regards to him (Please please please don't think about little Chay promising himself to be the best little brother for his big brother/parental figure in order to not make things harder for him and don't think about what it means for their dynamic that his new rebellious phase may come from him thinking Porsche doesn't care anymore so there's no need to pretend)

I don't doubt that it's in character for Kim to be mad at Porchay's words. I don't know if it was the best writing for Kim to leave Chay there, though. He's a mafia kid, after all. I get that he's pissed and maybe even feels guilty but my guy? Grab the kid (and hopefully his friends too), take him the fuck home, and wallow later. Again, his being pissed at Chay's words is likely in-charcter but he does not deserve to feel that anger. Kim knew Porchay was in a vulnerable position when he met him. He banked on it, exploited it. He just caught feelings after the fact.

All in all, I think characterization could be better.

[bitacrytic]

...but red is mine [5]

Read Previous Chapter Here

***

That would be so like Vegas. To leave a belt and pretend Pete had a chance of escape, only to show up with a taser hiding behind his back.

Pete was more worried about this soft Vegas than he’d ever been at the man who shocked his balls for sport. Too confused, Pete didn’t even know when the words, “What happened to you?” slipped from his mouth.

He was even more shocked that he got an answer.

An answer that sounded real. What had happened to the man who called honesty “a load of bullshit”? Was he still here? Or was this a different one? Was this a man who was vulnerable and raw from his father’s own beatings that he’d panicked at the thought of being left alone?

_____

_____

CHAPTER FIVE

***

“Pete.”

…

“Hey.”

…

“Pete.”

…

“Get up.”

***

When Pete opened his eyes, Porsche was kneeling by Pete’s bed with a broken piece of a fridge tray in his hands.

“What is it?”

Porsche cringed.

“I need your help.”

When Porsche first arrived, he was a constant source of exasperation, and sometimes anger, for a lot of the other bodyguards. Pete could understand why he was that way. He was out of his element, taking a job he obviously didn’t like, for a man he despised, for whatever reason. His soft assistance and helpful words endeared him to Porsche, granting him the chance to get to know the real Porsche, the innocent, the Porsche who complained about things he didn’t really care about, but stayed quiet about the things that actually caused him pain.

It was hard not to pity him.

Except, this also meant that when Porsche fucked up, Pete was forced to wake up in the middle of the night to help his roommate quietly find spare pieces to whatever furniture he’d wrecked.

Like the fridge in the common room.

“Oh, Porsche.”

“Hey,” Porsche said defensively. “This could have happened to anyone.”

Sitting up, wiping his eyes as he looked down at the broken tray.

“Is that soup on your pants?”

“The pot was hot when I put it in.”

Pete put his hand to his temple and closed his eyes so he wouldn’t pass out from frustration.

When he opened his eyes, Porsche’s voice wobbled and sparked as his face distorted like a TV about to go out. Confused, Pete blinked so that his head would clear up as Vegas appeared above him.

Slowly, the past few days came rushing back. 

Pete wanted to close his eyes again, pray the day away, go back to the good old times when his biggest problem was a huge, naughty newbie.

***

“You’ve never gone through what I have.”

***

Pete’s pain didn’t matter.

Even as a child, his father’s beatings seemed… less, in comparison to the ones he’d grown to expect, every Thursday. They weren’t predictable. He didn’t get beaten after every match, so he couldn’t always tell. But when he lost a match, Pete knew for sure what was going to happen. 

He’d steal a bunch of his grandmother’s herbs, soak them and inhale, numbing his body long before his father got home and the beating began. Because it wasn’t just about him. There was someone else who was beholden to whatever pain Pete felt and it hurt him to imagine what his pain caused for her.

Which was why he wished he could die so that she wouldn’t have to go through all this with Vegas. It would hurt for a second. Losing a soulmate always cost a person a piece of their soul. But it would be better than this. Every hit, every touch, every time a shock of electricity ran through his body, Pete could swear she was far away, rolling on the ground, unable to know that her soulmate had dragged her into something she never bargained for.

But what was this now? With the tenderness and the drugs, and the patches? What was all this?

He couldn't understand why Vegas had changed now. Was he gearing up for something big? Was he planning to lure Pete into a false sense of security, only to drop him back down to the depths of pain that Pete had come to know at his hands?

Because that would be so like Vegas. To leave a belt and pretend Pete had a chance of escape, only to show up with a taser hiding behind his back.

Pete was more worried about this soft Vegas than he’d ever been at the man who shocked his balls for sport. Too confused, Pete didn’t even know when the words, “What happened to you?” slipped from his mouth.

He was even more shocked that he got an answer.

An answer that sounded real. What had happened to the man who called honesty “a load of bullshit”? Was he still here? Or was this a different one? Was this a man who was vulnerable and raw from his father’s own beatings that he’d panicked at the thought of being left alone?

That sounded possible.

Out here, all alone with no one but his father and Pete, Pete could understand Vegas shifting him into the role of comfort because he had no one else. Vegas wanted to keep him alive. He wanted to talk. It hadn’t taken much to prod Vegas’ father’s abuse from his lips, almost like he’d been dying to tell someone about it all his life.

Pete could remember the first time his grandmother found out about it, the lightness that came upon him, having to share with someone what his father did was a balm, all on its own.

“Your father never won a match,” she’d said. “That’s why he beats you. But don’t worry, you hold on to that trophy, my sweet. You cherish it. Because nothing your father does will change how much of a failure he is.”

He’d received those words with peace, back then. Right now, it felt easy to say them out, not just for Vegas, but to remind himself that this, all of what Vegas was putting him through, had nothing to do with anything Pete had ever done to Vegas.

Because Vegas wanted companionship, love and understanding. And for some reason, he’d managed to convince himself that he could get, at least one of those things, from Pete.

***

“...I don’t know why it’s not as bad as before.”

 ***

He wondered how long this would last, as he slurped down the bowl of noodles. Vegas had let him take a piss without coming in to loom over him like a creep. He’d let Pete use the blanket, and now, he’d gone back out to make him hot noodles.

There wasn’t poison in the noodles today, but what about tomorrow? What would happen when Pete said the wrong thing? Was he supposed to give up trying to escape because Vegas had grown a conscience for three days straight? What would happen if Vegas caught Pete trying to escape again? Would he revert to the original Vegas? Would he be sad or angry?

Would he let Pete go?

“Would you like something to read?”

Pete startled out of his thoughts, holding the empty bowl in his lap.

“Huh?”

“Should I get you a book?”

“I don’t need a book, Vegas.”

“What do you need?” Vegas asked, turning to look at him.

“I need you to let me go.”

A tiny smile broke on Vegas' face as he dropped his book.

“What kind of books do you like?”

That was as positive a reaction as Pete could hope to get.

“I haven’t finished a book since I was a child.”

“So…” Vegas asked, eyebrows raised. “Children’s books?”

“Don’t mock me.”

“You’re a grown man.”

Rolling his eyes, Pete picked up the bowl and set it on the side cupboard.

“You asked. I answered.”

“Oh yes, I’ll get you 'Riding on the Nile' or 'Mrs. Thutsanam and the Singing Turtles.'"

“Hey, those are classics.”

Those books got Pete through some hard times.

“‘Why, Mr. Thutsanam, would you see these turtles with the voice of-’” Vegas began, quoting a line from the book with a high-pitched, feminine voice.

“‘-of swimming angels that sunk to the surface of the sea.’” Pete completed the line for him.

“‘Rose to the surface of the sea, you mean, Mrs. Thutsanam,’” Vegas replied, forcing a deep, masculine voice.

“‘I said what I said, Mr. Thutsanam,’” Pete said, keeping his voice high-pitched. “You memorized a children’s book?”

Vegas shook his head.

“I never really cared for them, but for some reason, they always brought me peace.” He laughed. “I don’t know what it is about books, but they… they calm me down.”

“Me too. My soulmate’s dad used to beat her, like clockwork. I read to her, sometimes.”

“You grew up together, then?”

“I’ve never met her. But I read books so it could help her.”

“How did you know it was her dad?” Vegas asked. “How did you know it was a girl? For all you know, it could have been a naughty boy whose mother had to hit him to set him straight.”

“She was anything I wanted her to be,” Pete said, shrugging. “Sometimes, she was a princess locked in a dungeon. Other times, she was a warrior on a mission, where she’d gotten captured by the enemy. If I read loud enough, my voice would keep her awake, strong enough to fight back.”

When he looked at Vegas, Vegas was staring at him, eyes round with weird softness.

“How many of these stories did you make up?”

“A lot. Had to prepare for our Thursday, weekly beatings.”

Vegas’ face hardened as he slowly turned fully to look at Pete.

“What did you say?” 

“What?” Pete asked, perplexed by Vegas’ sudden mood change. “I didn't say anything.”

“Thursday, weekly beatings,” Vegas asked, grabbing and yanking the chain, as he Pete forward. “Is that what you said?”

Pete flopped on his stomach, his chin hitting Vegas in the thigh. When he tried to get up, Vegas pressed him down.

“I - I was just-”

Pete stopped himself from explaining as he stilled himself against Vegas. Of course, the real Vegas was back. Pete wasn’t really sure what had triggered this, but he’d always known he was right there, just lurking beneath the surface. He’d be damned if he shrunk away or begged Vegas to stop.

“Is that what you said?” Vegas shouted at him. “Tell me.”

“If you want to talk to me, calm yourself, Vegas.”

Breathing hard, Vegas blinked down at Pete. He shook his head, letting go of the chain as he pulled back from Pete.

“I don’t know what…” he began, cutting himself short. “I didn't mean to… Pete.”

Pete got up, crawling back to the head board as he looked away from Vegas. His heart pounded in his chest. The softness was a veil. He had to remind himself of that. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, before he grabbed his book and left the room.

Sorry. Sorry for what? Keeping Pete here? Losing his temper? Or for the atrocious things that were going to happen in the future? 

Pete couldn’t be sure.

He had to remind himself, he had to be careful. Because Vegas might show up, beaten and in need of comfort, but at the end of the day, Vegas would always continue to be Vegas.

[hael987]

Before Ep 10 comes and tells us the answer I thought I'd take the opportunity to get some of my thoughts about who the mole is out.

[Note this is largely all random speculation and heavily biased by personal preference with no definitive answer.]

Firstly, it has to be either Ken or Big. To get access to sensitive information the mole has to be one of Kinn's bodyguards, and one in a high position at that. That leaves only two options: Ken or Big.

Ken

At first, I was very drawn to the idea that Ken is the mole. Second in command is a much less conspicuous position to operate from versus Big's head bodyguard position that he was in at the start of the show.

Ken is shown to be more ruthless, rather cold, and less emotional (except for anger) - good qualities in a mole. He doesn't even seem all that bothered in Ep 6 when they're searching for Kinn. Big is definitely far more emotional and quite frankly sometimes a little soft, especially when it comes to Kinn [Ep 6 for sure]. I'm not sure if I could actually picture Big having the heart to betray Kinn. If Ken recognised Big's feelings for Kinn then I think he'd definitely be able to work some manipulation from his lower position to get more information and set up any plans he has.

Further, Ken has been shown to speak English on multiple occasions and you know who else speaks English a lot? Vegas, and potentially even the whole Second Family. Just a fun little observation there with significant implications.

I think I started thinking out this way because I'd love for Perth to have an even more significant, complex role. He's currently an antagonist for Porsche's character but to be a mole and a definite villain would be much more impactful. I'd really love that for him, such a difference from anything else he's acted as before.

Also, I usually dislike the "I betrayed/hurt you because I love you" storylines, so if it was Ken and not Big it'd match my personal preferences. So I'd love for Ken to turn out to be the mole for a variety of reasons but he does seem to be lacking a motive. Sadly, I don't think there's really enough evidence to support Mole Ken at this point though. Especially after my suspicions of Big were aroused in Ep 9.

Big

He says he was the first one to start suspecting Tawan. That, in itself, I found a little suspicious. Why was he the first one to notice? I think there are definitely more observant, sensitive characters that would pick up on it so we can assume Tawan was being incredibly careful. Whilst it could just be that Big was so jealous he was watching Tawan like a hawk and happened to stumble upon it, it's also plausible to believe that he knew Tawan was a traitor because he's working for the other side too, he's privy to that information. Maybe he even made it easier for Tawan to get his hands on some info, he'd definitely be in a position to do so as the closest bodyguard. Also, what a genius plan to take out your love rival and ingratiate yourself to Kinn at the same time, even making your own mole position more secure. In Ep 9 he's very keen to get rid of Tawan immediately and before he reveals anything, is it jealousy? actual belief that Tawan isn't to be trusted? or, is it that he doesn't want to be exposed?

Big also has a clearer motive. Nodt implies in the character story that Big will do bad things but says he's not a bad person, he just loves Kinn too much. Will these bad things mean being a mole perhaps?

While I'm not usually a fan of "I betrayed you because I love you" storylines, showing the act of love becoming poisonous would be quite a good addition to a show that's showing various forms/paths of love.

After I got suspicious, I looked back and it puts Ep 7 in a slightly different light. Big is super awful/clumsy in the fight scene, points out the wrong guy at first, and lets the culprit slip through his grasp multiple times - so maybe this is intentional? He's not fighting to the best of his abilities because he doesn't actually want to catch the culprit and put himself in danger of being exposed.

To sum up: I started thinking it was Ken, but now I'm convinced it's Big. Love that I don't have a definitive idea though. Can't wait for today's episode to find out after Pete goes snooping!

[writings-by-blondie]

~If The Stars Could Speak~

Soap Mactavish x F!Reader (teaspoon of Angst)

She was way too good for him and he knew that yet he couldn't forget the way her (h/c) hair fell over her shoulders, her laugh and a bit cold, but glittery look of her (e/c) eyes when their gaze met for the first time..it was like he could see universe in them.

He was in cold, gloomy, Russia, on a mission that was to be last, scribbling down words on the peace of paper, counting down hours till he get to hold her forever...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

His most trusting man, and friend, Simon and him decided to lay back and enjoy some free time they were granted away from their ever noisy and ever busy camp.

They were at downtown, walking and talking about how tonight is their night - they will leave job at office and they will just enjoy strong alcohol and good music.

The night was a bit chilly, but nothing unusual for the late September.

That just meant that John will finally have chance to wear that nice black spitfire jacket he bought not long ago, and he looked well in it.

As the two men walked they spotted the bar they wanted to be in for the rest of the night, right outside of it, sticking out like a sore thumb was parked some expensive car that John didn't know how to indenify as. He wasn't a big car head like his friend.

"Look at this mate. Its Porsche, bet some meat heads are in this place",

said Simon chucking and eyeing the car and tilting his head slowly towards the bar.

Mactavish smirked and pushed his friend gently as he started walking in, "You have a problem with that or you're just scared of guys who drive expensive cars, eh?".

Inside of the bar you and small group of your friends were in VIP lounge. Infront of you, on small glass table was a bucket filled with ice that kept some red bulls and couple of Baltica beers cold.

You were drinking Jack Daniels, your glass half full. Being tipsy already, you fake-laughed at some perverse joke friend next to you finished telling.

Tonight, you really felt down. Truth to be told, you've been feeling under the weather last couple of months, nothing seemed to go the right way and nothing you did could change that feeling. On top of that your stupid poosh boyfriend broke up with you over text last week, and even though you understood that your friends cared for you and wanted you to forget about that fool and enjoy yourself, you still couldn't shake away the bitterness and just wanted to curl away in your bed, eat some strawberry ice cream and watch ‘Casablanca’.

But here you were, in a black dress that glittered under the light, your hair styled in lazy but not messy curls, and your over-expensive white heels. You looked like the IT girl that every man would want for them selves, to put you on pedestal and admire you.

(Y/n) leaned back in the black leather seat before she took a deep sigh that was followed by pouting and throwing down rest of the Jack that was in her glass down her throat. It burned for a bit, but the sweet flavour of alcohol made her want to drink more, so she opened the half empty bottle and poured more of the honey-coloured liquid into her glass.

She leaned in close to her friend on the left and whispered,

"I need to go and check my make up. Save a seat for me, and dont touch my bottle, I will know if you do.",

you almost groaned last words since you knew well that your friends loved to mess with you.

The (h/c) girl now stood up, taking her light coloured purse that matched with her heels, in her hands and started walking towards the washroom of the bar.

The floor was wooden, hard wood, after all the bar was made to accommodate high class people and to draw in tourists who had a lot of money to spend. Her heels making a little bit noise as her steps collided with the floor. It was a southing sound, like when rain hits the metal.

Her hips swayed as her dress didn't quite hug her whole neatly shaped figure, so it swayed with her movements, glittering under the dim light of the noisy bar.

She had to watch every step since she felt that the alcohol was indeed kicking in, but the song playing on stereos drew her attention and just for a tiny moment she forgot completely that she had heels on.

"Shit-", you muttered loudly as your purse left your hands and you could see the dark wooden floor getting close to you now, but you weren't colliding with it, instead you felt stern grip on your waist, feeling the coldness of someones hand that went straight to your skin, under the dress. You furrowed eyebrows before looking up, facing a, without any exaggeration, handsomest man you ever laid eyes upon.

His eyes, blue as the sea in mid July in the noon, almost glittering like a waves when they shine under the hot sun. His smell now invaded your nostrils touching your senses, stimulating them, wanting more of it. It was pine mixed with old brand of ‘denim’, manly but still subtle, just enough.

He smiled at you softly looking into your eyes, not breaking eye contact once.

"Careful now lass, we don’t want any broken bones yet, the night is still young eh?..", he spoke with thick and extremely attractive (for some reason) Scottish accent and she took deep breath in, as the man slowly placed the girl in front of him back on her legs, parting his hand with her waist. The girl licked her lover lip, realizing now that she was blushing way more than it was appropriate for this kind of situation and softly muttered, "Sorry.. The heels..", under her breath before she walked pass the man and disappeared into woman's washroom.

Mactavish however trailed her with his eyes, her long and subtly toned legs, and the way the subtle cutout on her dress reviled a bit of her thigh. She was clearly in distress and he couldn't help but chuckle a bit to himself as he picked up her purse from the floor and sat down in the nearby booth with Simon.

"What the hell was that?", Riley said as he took off his black leather jacket, placing it next to him.

"It was like some scene out of those old movies mate. Its like, in that one moment, universe existed to put us together.", John smiled to himself, also placing his jacket next to him, being a bit surprised at his own words, he wasn't cheesy, but romantic? He was that.

And he would never let any of his friends know that since well, it was an army and he didn't need Ghost going around the base telling everyone that their captain was softie.

"Since when are you that cheeky eh? Maybe Price doesn't make you do enough pushups at morning." Simon smirked at his friend and raised his hand to call the bartender,

"Its a quote, some of us are literate cinema vise mate", Mactavish smirked back at him leaning over the table, trying to reach for his cigars in his back pocket, "But she is bonnie, nonetheless.".

In washroom you tried to steady your breathing. You put your hand on your chest and closed eyes, but the only thing you could see was the man's eyes and his face. Girl quickly opened her eyes and looked at her reflection in big mirror that was placed on black and white tiles. (Y/n) looked at her face, noticing few spots where her make up was messed up, she pouted a bit and reached down on the sink for her purse, but her palm was met only with cold marble sink.

You quickly shot your gaze towards your hand, with your eyebrows furrowed. Eyes darting across the sink, around it and eventually around the whole washroom then the realisation hit you like a heavy boulder- you dropped your purse when you tripped, when he grabbed you.

"For fucks sake..", you muttered under the breath. It was enough humiliating that probably whole bar watched you stumble around like a new born deer and almost kiss the floor, but now you had to go retrieve your purse that was probably still on the ground and go back to washroom again looking like a lost highschool girl on the party.

You shook your head and realised that stupid anxiety attack got your judgment clouded- people fall every day, and they drop stuff everyday too.

The girl now straighten her posture, fixed her hair a bit and opened the door, exiting the cool room she was in before heading to the booth were she dropped her purse, but to her surprise the purse was not on the floor instead she heard familiar thick accent from the booth next to where she was standing,

"Looking for this lass?", the man waved with her purse smiling at her with one of his brows raised, his friend watching her, waiting for her next move.

You swallowed a big gulp, approaching the booth were the men were sitting slowly, taking your purse from the blue eyed man,

"Yes, thank you. Saving me from embarrassment.. Very noble of you.", you said with a now confident voice, not breaking eye contact with him. There was something about him, something unexplainable. It was like that with every second she looked at his face, at his slightly parted lips as a little smile formed on his face, you were losing grip on the time it was like a whole universe worked for you and him.

"Glad I could help ma'am. Those shoes do look dangerous, better watch your step.", the man spoke and she smiled at him, shyly nodding and turning around, breaking the eye contact with him, slowly walking towards her own booth where her friends were loud and drunk.

But every step you took was heavier than the last one, you didn't want to go there, you wanted to sit with him, smell that invading pine again, feel his touch again.. Was this alcohol that was in your bloodstream?

You stopped suddenly and took a deep breath, before turning on your heels and going back to the two man who were now smoking, their drinks were on their table as well.

"Oh screw it. Universe, dont make a fool out of me!", you thought internally as you approached back their booth, and both men looked up at you again.

"Do you need some help lassie? Are you feeling well?", the blue eyed man asked. You actually just now noticed that he had his hair styled as a mohawk and it suited him so nice, the scar over his eye stuck out as well.

You snapped out and shook your head in denial,

"Would you mind if I joined you for a drink?",

Ghost cleared his throat and looked away with a huge smirk over his face, avoiding John’s stern look. Mactavish moved himself to the left, leaving vacant place for the girl to sit and nodded his head down while putting out cigar that was already burned.

You sat next to him, smiling and biting inside of your cheek, leaving your purse on the edge of the table waving to the bartender to get his attention, you showed him universal sign for ‘another bottle’ and the man nod to you.

You returned your attention towards two men who were gazing at you the whole time.

"So, who wishes to start this AA meeting? How about you sir?", you pointed at men across from you. Both men cracked at your joke before the one you pointed at started talking,

"Name's Simon, that’s Soap- I mean John..", Simon barely held in his laugh looking away from the pair. You looked at men next to you and his jaw was clenched, he obviously didn't like that one.

"Y/N, nice to meet you fellas. This night needed some life in it. I was dying of boredom over at VIP's. Some fresh environment is nice..",

you smiled at John who was downing his beer, slowly he nod at the girl and the bartender finally came with your new bottle of Jack and three glasses for each of you.

"Put it on my bill, thanks.", you said and John eyed you as you opened the bottle of whiskey and poured everyone about a half of the glass, raising your own towards him as you finished. You smirked a bit, leaning towards him, unintentionally, your thigh subtly brushed against his light blue denim jeans.

"Cheers to not breaking bones and to concerned strangers.”, you said the words, slowly looking up at his eyes yet again.

John looked down at you, slowly colliding his glass with yours.

"Well, cheers to me I guess..", Simon muttered to himself and downed down the glass. You couldn't help but laugh sincerely, John joining you while rolling his eyes at Simon,

"Ghost getting ghosted, this will be the story to tell the mates back at camp for sure..".

You raised your eyebrow in confusion, leaving your glass on the table and crossing your legs, leaning back,

"Camp? What are you two like some secret agents or something?", you asked and John and Simon talked to you about their job deep into night. They explained their line or work as subtle as they could and shared some of the funniest moments from their missions with you.

John enjoyed your laugh, the way you blushed when you caught him looking at you, avoiding his gaze, how well your lips were glossed and your perfume that made him want to invade your neck and collarbone with small and soft kisses. He also noticed how soft your skin was when he "accidentally" touched your hand as you were reaching for the bottle, wanting to pour another drink.

It was about 3 in the morning when you turned around towards the bartender who was next to you, telling you and your new friends that the bar is closing in about five minutes. Your friends left long time ago, too drunk to even notice that you were gone or that you were now sitting elsewhere.

"Oh come on Gorge! Cant you see how much fun we are having here? Can’t you just lock us in or join us?", you blinked innocently at the bartender and it made man blush, ofcourse that didn't go unnoticed by Mactavish who cleared his throat subtly and put his hand around your shoulder. You turned your head, raising eyebrow at him and questioning what the hell he was doing.

"Come on lass, man has a job to do, a boss to answer to. We will get you to your hotel eh?", you chuckled at him, now relaxing into his touch, and he loved it. He softly rubbed exposed skin on your shoulder with his thumb and you inhaled sharply, smiling at him reaching for your purse and pulling out keys from your car,

"I drank a lot.. Who is driving lads?",

You closed the door of your Porsche and could hear Simon in the back seat whistle,

"It even has leather inside and tv in the back of the seat. Of course it does.. For gods sake (y/n), you could've just told us that you are rich. We would've distanced from you.", Riley made a joke and you laughed, turning around in your seat looking at Simon, as John started the car, slowly advancing towards the main street.

"I wouldn't trade time I had with you boys for nothing in this world. I haven't laughed like that in ages..",

Riley now looked at Mactavish on review mirror smirking,

"Soap, drop me off first and then take (y/n) back to her place. Base is just around the corner it will save her some gas.".

You eyed man who was driving now, waiting for his response, he groaned in response then he nodded slowly looking at you, before returning eyes to the road that was empty. The city was in deep sleep.

John parked infront of some old looking house and Simon chuckled, "Well this is my stop. I'll see ya in the morning mate, don't forget to freshen up, we will need you frosty eh?",

Simon said before he slammed the doors shut and swiftly disappeared into the house.

You looked at John and pouted a bit, he looked and you and wiggled his eyebrows playfully,

"Where to miss?", he put up his best British accent and you couldn't help but laugh at how silly he sounded.

"With you? To the stars.." you leaned on his shoulder and kicked down your heels, tucking your legs under your tights.

Mactavish took a deep breath, inhaling the sent of your perfume, before he started driving again, he reached for the radio and turned it on.

A soft tune of "Midnight" song was on it and you hummed in approval.

"You know, I feel like I should've met you long ago instead of wasting my time around, not knowing where am I going, what am I doing. I wish this night could last forever John, I wish I could be stuck in it forever.."

The man smiled and reached for one of your hands, locking his fingers with your smaller ones, his eyes never leaving the road.

"I want to show you one place, if you are not up for sleep yet lassie?"

You parted your head with his shoulder to look up at him, his face being illuminated by dim street lights, he looked so soft and like he didn't have any worry in the world.

"Aye sir, I am in your hands for the rest of this trip." you joked and he let out a huffed laugh, bringing your hand closer to his lips, kissing your knuckles, you watched him carefully, biting your lower lip as you felt the warmth spread throughout your entire body from just that tiny exchange of affection.

John parked the car, pulled the break and turned the machine off. He leaned back in the leather seat and looked at you, smile creeping around the corners of his mouth.

"Take my jacket, it can be windy up here."

He said and reached in the back seat for his jacket, handing it to you. You took it into your hands and looked around you, it was quiet and dark all around. Not single lamp post or anything was in the vicinity, only the headlights that John left on, and the soft tune of radio that still played.

"There is nothing here, and honestly it feels like a horror movie. Am I about to be murdured  and thrown from this cliff John?"

Mactavish just chuckled and opened the car doors on his side,

"Do you trust me lass?", he asked as he leaned on the car roof, peeking inside and looking at you.

"Do I trust man I just met in local bar to exit my car, my only way of escaping, and obey him to walk into my own funeral? Sure yeah, here I come.." you said with playful tone as you stepped out of your car, flinging his black jacket over your shoulders and sliding your arms into it. It smelled like him and you buried your nose into the collar of jacket, closing your eyes and getting lost in the man's perfume mixed with aftershave. You were about to close the doors of the car when John cut you off,

"Don't close the doors, we won't be able to hear the music".

He was now behind you, towering over your smaller frame and your heart skipped the beat as you turned around to face him.

He slowly reached for your hips and without any hesitation or struggle, swayed you off your bare feet and lifted you up. You instinctively warped your arms around his neck smiling at him.

"You need to stop watching that many horror movies, they will rot your pretty brain"

He smiled at you with his eyes, looking down at your parted lips. Your face being right infront of his, possibly few inches away since he could feel your breath on his skin, and you could feel his. Blush creeped around your cheeks and he put you down on the hood of the car that was still warm from the engine. Your hands left his neck, but he still remained between your legs, not letting your hips just yet. You could've swore that his eyes were shining that night, you knew it was not possible, that your brain was seeing tings the way it wanted to, but you still chose to believe that impossible was possible in that moment.

His shadow that was casted due to headlights now moved, and with deep inhale his grip left your hips and you bit your lip. You felt disappointed and empty, you wanted him to lean in closer, you wanted to taste him and to seal the deal, but he moved away, hopping on the hood with ease, next to you, and leaning down on the windshield, one hand behind his head and other stretched out across the hood. He wiggled his eyebrows at you and slowly nodded towards his hand.

You pouted but soon enough curled against him, resting your head on his arm and softly gliding your hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat under your palm.

In response he softly put his fingers in your hair, massaging your head in circular moves.

"Look up lass, the sky is beautiful tonight. No clouds, just stars blinking and shining somewhere out there, far, far away. Haven't seen this in a while."

You listened to his words and followed his gaze up towards the sky. He was right, it was indeed beautiful. Dark blue mixed with dozen blinking lights looking back at you and him. Moon was nowhere to be found however. And then it struck you, the whole moment was inscribed into your memory- his soft breathing, the glitter in his eyes, the soft music that was playing from inside the car, the murmur of water somewhere in the distance, the ruffle of the leaves and grass that were moved by soft breeze and your eyes watered a bit, you really wanted to live in this moment forever, to lie on his arm forever and to gaze at the same stars forever.

John noticed the hard breathing next to him and faced you with soft smile "Dont cry lass, I more like you smiling, it suits you better. Can't say the same for those shoes.. Those didn't work for you that well eh?" you chucked through the tears and felt his thumb on your cheek as he wiped one stray tear.

"I just want to be here forever.. Like this. With you next to me. If I had one chance to freeze the time it would be right now, right here with you so I could look at your eyes filled with thousand stars forever, counting them slowly one by one, never getting bored of you." the girl said softly pulling herself closer to him. John smiled and kissed her hair softly.

"Funny how you are telling me the words I should be telling you bonnie. Maybe this is just a dream eh? Maybe we will wake up from it feeling empty..I know that I will miss you when I am gone.. Now, tell me who broke your heart?"

John said with whisper, still gazing up at the stars, slowly closing his eyes.

"Life did. But its nothing you can't fix.." you said quietly, blushing and looking up at him. He opened the eyes and looked back at you, his eyes trailing every line of your face, trying to remember all the features of it as he leaned in and slowly kissed your forehead.

"Dance with me?" He asked and you smiled up at him.

"I dont have any shoes on." you replied as with one swift move he pulled you off the car .

"That is nothing I can't fix." he smirked a bit and lifted you up from the car, telling you to stand on his shoes.

"John no, I am heavy." you chuckled as his hands held you close to him, his hands under his jacket, one placed on small of your back and one firmly held your hip, your feet now on his shoes, and he started moving slowly in tune of "Gloria" by Midnight that was on radio station at the moment.

"Bollocks, you are light as a feather, I can't even feel you. Do you even eat something or you just drink every day?" He joked and you laughed, throwing your hands over his head, locking them behind his neck.

"Captain Mactavish, stop teasing me and kiss me. I demand that action." you ran your hand over back of his head, feeling the tingles on your palm from his fresh shaven hair cut.

He looked down at you, lingering his eyes on your lips that were smirking a bit, slowly closing distance between the two, teasingly.

He pressed his cold lips on yours and you closed your eyes, wanting to remember every single moment and every move he made.

He slowly moved his hand up and down your back, inviting you to deepen the kiss which you accepted. He kissed you slowly, with passion with every move. He was spilling all of his emotions right then and there, he held you like was afraid that you will disappear from his arms, like he wouldn't be able to touch you or feel you. Your heart feel heavy, and you swore he could hear it since it was crashing against your ribcage. 

John slowly parted with your lips, looking into your eyes, his forehead resting on yours,

"After I am done with next mission, I will steal you and take you away so we can count all of the starts together, alright?" He asked and you nodded in approval slowly.

"Promise you wont forget?" You blinked up at him and he softly leaned in and kissed your lips again, kiss that was assuring and warm.

"I will be back in two days, wait for me here and be ready for a trip.", he softly brushed his nose on yours and you smiled wide at him, the universe was on your side, fate was on your side. It gifted him to you, to keep him and to cherish him, that whole night was like a fever dream, it almost didn't feel real- but it was. He was there and you were with him, swaying to the music slowly, kissing and feeling each other praying that sun wont come up just yet..

In two days you were at the same spot, your truck filled with all your stuff you needed.

You paced around the car excited, wanting to have his arms around you again, wanting to kiss him again... But he never showed up.

You never saw him again. You visited the bar often, you went to the house where you left his friend that night but the house was not there, it was demolished not long ago.

John disappeared without the trace, just the way he came into your life, unnoticed.

You never heard from him again. It was like that whole night was just a distant dream you had, and you would believe it if it wasn't for his jacket that was in your closet, his smell still lingering on it.

Years have passed, you never quite moved on, settling for a man who was nothing like John, but he cared for you, he really did.

Treating you right, bringing you flowers for every 14th of February, never forgetting anniversary or your birthday.

He didn't have stars in his eyes, he never took you to that place, never made you fall in love with him in bare hours, but he was enough. You had a nice house in nice neighbourhood and you lived a nice life with him.

You were at kitchen, preparing a lunch for your husband and you, when you heard a bell ring of your doors. You swiftly cleaned your hands and rushed to open the door.

"Yes?" You said as handle turned and the door opened.

Man who you never met before stood before you. He had small blue eyes, his beard was a bit weird but it suited him nice. He had a brown hair, and looked like life never treated him with ease.

"Can I help you sir?" You questioned the stranger and he nodded affirmative

"You are a hard one to find (y/n). Took me long enough.. Name's John Price, I have something for you.", he said and pulled white small envelope from his pocket handing it to you

"What is this sir? How do you know my name?" He smiled sadly at you and turned around being ready to leave when he stopped in his tracks, not facing you still.

"I am sorry. Wish I did more." .

He said and you were more confused than ever, you watched as man left your property and you closed the door, looking at the envelope that was in your hand. It was a bit heavy, but only on one side of it.

You rushed to the living room, where you sat down and opened it.

Dog tags fell out from them, they were cleaned recently, but the rust on them was noticeable still.

"John Mactavish"

ARMY

Some numbers and rest were scribbled from them.

Your heart dropped and your lips parted, eyes already filled with tears that slowly left your eye, falling down your cheek.

In the envelope was also a paper, it had blood stains on it. You tried wiping your eyes and reading it.

"I want to invite you for a walk,

To a quiet place; In the moor.

When the breeze sings midnight,

One if those nights- the moon is full.

A restless pounding invades in my heart,

When I think of my confidants-

The stars.

If they could only speak ,

What would they say?

If you could hear them talk.

For they know of my fondness for you,

And that in my thoughts

There is no other one.

If only the stars could speak

They will tell you that I love you,

They would ask you,

To love me back."

You hugged the peace of paper like it was John himself and let your tears fall freely whispering to yourself and to the paper like he could hear you, like he was the one in your arms instead of this bloody peace of paper.

“I do love you John.. I never stopped.”.

A soothing closure fell over you. Now he was the star somewhere up in the sky, looking over at you every night you faced the sky, waiting for you to join him one day.

[jengajives]

Part two of my modern au. will Daeron ever actually meet the family? I don’t know

The Fëanorian house was big. Daeron probably should have expected it, just given the rumors he had heard before he even met Maglor, but it still surprised him with its immensity. It seemed a vast and artificial thing to him- somewhat unsettling if he was being honest- but the Noldorin leaning had always been toward excess and showmanship rather than the subtle, natural beauty his people preferred, so it was easy to calmly set his nervousness aside as simple culture shock. The lack of green anywhere beyond the perfectly manicured garden out front did make him feel somewhat squirmy inside, though; entering that glass and concrete beast was a daunting thought, even when he tried to explain it away. “We’re here!” Maglor said with a sort of nauseous cheeriness that conveyed no particular optimism. “Last chance to turn back.” Daeron craned his neck to get a look at the upper floors, currently glaring with an echo of the sunset behind them. “Wow.” “Dad designed it. It’s pretty, right?” Maglor actually looked over, read Daeron’s expression, and hastily went on. “Pretty horrible. Yeah. Really bad. Let’s go in.” As Daeron stepped onto the ceramic driveway, he was floored by another revelation: he had always thought Maglor’s car to be quite showy, maybe even to the point of tackiness, but seeing the other eight cars lined up nicely on the drive made him quickly change his mind about the rather conservative little blue Porsche. The first one he noticed was the cherry red supercar- it was hard not to look at it, to be honest, because it resembled a spaceship more than any other vehicle Daeron had ever seen. If he was ever unlucky enough to be standing behind it when someone turned the engine on, he’d pretty sure he’d get his eyebrows burned off or something. There was a Rolls-Royce parked next to it, painted a more subtle shade of midnight purple. Behind the two, a restored muscle car sat alongside an old hot rod, both opposite shades of green that made Daeron feel itchy to look at for some reason, and then came the pickup truck. It was the tallest car he had ever seen, iridescent black-to-green, and fitted with a downright obscene array of racks, lights, and speciality equipment, and with a deer skull mounted to the hood. One yellow Jeep and a small grey SUV looked very out of place at the front of the driveway even though they absolutely should not. Maglor had noticed him looking, so he pointed out who each car belonged to, but Daeron was so overwhelmed that everything went completely over his head. He did manage to pick out that the normal-looking ones belonged to Maedhros and to Maglor’s mother, though, and that was the only thing his overwhelmed brain could think of clinging onto. At least two of these people were a little bit normal-ish, at least. He could do this. While he stood staring at the cars, Maglor went on ahead, and he had to scurry to catch up. “Aren’t your parents divorced?” “Yeah.” Maglor gave him a look like that was the dumbest question he’d ever heard. For just a brief moment, Daeron worried it was, until he remembered which of them had a better handle on average family dynamics (ironically, it was the one without a family). “Then why is your mom coming to dinner?” “Why wouldn’t she?” They stopped in front of a big metal door, on what was the most intimidating porch he had ever seen. “She comes every month.” Daeron started to tell him that was weird, but Maglor was already reaching out to open the door, and he didn’t want to be overheard, so he just canned it and tried to look polite. As soon as the knob turned, Daeron was attacked by what appeared to be a red-brown blur. It burst from the cracked door and rammed into his chest with enough force to easily through him to the concrete, and Daeron couldn’t muffle a cry when he saw the glint of cruel yellow teeth and eyes belonging to a creature that knew exactly where it had to bite to end his life. Hot breath panted across his face, and a single line of drool drizzled nicely across the bridge of his nose. He was about to actually scream when he heard a sharp whistle and an even sharper voice. “Huan!” Immediately the creature bounded off Daeron’s chest and pranced out of sight. He only realized it was a dog when he saw the bristle tail swishing happily behind it. Maglor appeared above him instead, face swimming with concern. “Oh Valar. Are you okay?” “Sorry, chief!” Someone shouldered Maglor out of the way to fill Daeron’s view himself. One of the brothers already. Wonderful. “He’s still a puppy. Thinks everyone wants to play. I’m sure you know how that is!” The newcomer had the same basic facial features as Maglor, but he looked sharper all over, from the jaw to the cheekbones, even the teeth. When he grinned, Daeron got the impression he was a rabbit being played with before the meal. His hair was an unusual shade of pale blond, not quite Sindar silver, which Daeron had never seen on a Noldo before. It was almost white and caught the red of the sunset like melted wax. When Daeron realized he was being offered a hand, he took it and let Mystery Fëanorian Number One lift him to his feet. “You must be Mags’s new guy, huh?” The predatory grin flashed again. It was probably supposed to be disarming, but it put Daeron so on edge he jumped when the man clapped him on the shoulder. “Sindar, huh? Excellent. Amrod is going to owe me thirty bucks. Hey, Caranthir really isn’t going to like this, Mags.” He glanced around Daeron to where Maglor was standing stiff and awkward, face a mask of horrified embarrassment. “Dad probably won’t either.” “Celegorm...” Maglor finally groaned. His brother didn’t let him finish. “Hey, either of you want a smoke?” He tugged a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his worn-down jeans and held it towards the two of them. Because he was wearing just a white t-shirt that looked like it hadn’t been washed in a couple weeks, Daeron could see plenty of exposed skin, and the tattoos that covered Celegorm head to toe. Lots of deers, trees, wolves, and the like, though he did spot a rifle or two and a couple naked ladies as well. He had the words “WOLF PACK” printed across his knuckles. “No, thank you,” Maglor said flatly as he reached over to rest his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders. Daeron relaxed just a little bit at the touch. “Suit yourself.” Celegorm shrugged. He patted his thigh and the massive red dog came trotting over again; Daeron swore it gave him a dirty look as it followed its master by. “Have fun in there,” called Celegorm over his shoulder. “It’s just starting to kick off.” Daeron waited until he and his dog had wandered out of earshot before he managed a few strangled words. “Is he the one who... fucked Oromë?” “Yep, that’s him.” Daeron stared, dumbfounded, and slowly shook his head. “Charming.” “Do you still want to go inside?” Maglor asked weakly, and Daeron just nodded. He had come this far. Time to dive in.

[nanachingu]

Drama Review: In Family We Trust (2018) (Thai Drama)

My first Thai drama review is coming from In Family We Trust (2018). First, let me tell you how I found this drama and decided to binge-watching it. I often see this title when I scroll Netflix but never trying to watch it till someone attach me. My whole reason to start this drama is Thanapob Lee or we can called him Tor. He’s one of the main actor in this drama and I love him in his next drama Hua Jai Sila (2019). I think his acting in that drama is really good, he’s perfect potraying his character so I want to find out his another project. To be honest, before this drama I already see him in several movie like Ghost Lab and May Who? and shockingly he’s cameo in the end of The Stranded (Netflix series) but I don’t have any idea that it’s him all this time. Really Hua Jai Sila make me open my eyes and make me found this worth-watching drama.

So here I am ready to review this family drama with a touch of mystery and plot twist story that you can find it in Netflix. When I see the title, I already familiar with that name like I think I see this a lot when I scroll Netflix and just need like 3 days to finish this!!! This is one of my favorite genre, I’m weak with family drama and really love with plot twist story. Because this is a family drama, of course there are so many character in this drama. They’re of course a big family, Jiraanan family. Grandpa or called A-goong and Grandma we called A-ma have 5 children (but we only see 4 children in this drama) and of course their children have their family too.

So in the beginning of the story, we’ll be seen that each of Jiranaan family are get along with each other well and prepared to celebrate their A-goong birthday. A-goong and A-ma eldest son is Prasoet, followed by another son called Mate, and they have a daughter called Phatson, and the youngest son is Konkan. I think they have another child that already passed away because we can see one grandson that live together with A-goong and A-ma. Of course their sons and daughter have child too, so the family become much bigger. Let’s see the family tree first so we didn’t confused.

From the left, the son is Prasoet (Songsit Rungnopakunsi) and right beside him are his wifes. The one in the right is Cris (Sopitnapa Chumpanee) and their son is Pete (JAYLERR). This is the family that he brought into Jiraanan family.

Little does his family know, he had another son with another women who claimed to be his girlfriend in college. His another wife is Nipha (Apasiri Nitiphon) and his son Chi (Ice Paris). From the picture below, we can see Prasoet really love his second family eventhough they’re not officially Jiraanan’s family. This drama will revolve around Prasoet so finally in the end all know that Prasoet has another family beside his family with Cris and Pete.

Next, is Mate( Saksit Tangthong) and his daughter Meimei (Sawanya Paisarnpayak). Mate always pick up Meimei at school. This is quite a little family, but Mate really love his daughter and vice versa. The only daughter left in Jiraanan family is Phatson (Kathaleeya McIntosh). Phatson married with a police and automatically her last name changed into Suriyapairoj. They have 4 sons, the eldest is Yi (Thanapob Lee), 2nd is Ern (Captain Chonlathorn), 3rd is Tao (Third Lapat) , and youngest is Toei (Jackie Jackrin) who in the same age with Meimei. To be honest I love this family the most. So lucky that Phatson has 4 son that love and protect her. Next, they didn’t introduce the parents but A-goong and A-ma has grandson that live together with them called Kuaitiao (Porsche). Last, youngest son is Konkan (Lift Supoj). If we can choose which one is the most chill family, we could say that Konkan family is very chill~ They have 2 son, Vegas (JamyJames) and Macao (Ryu Vachirawich). (The parents like casino very much🤣).

So enough with the introduction, and I will tell a little bit of the story before doing an overall review.

This suspense drama revolves around the Jiraanans, a wealthy Thai-Chinese family that operates its own hotels in Bangkok and Pattaya. The drama follows the members of the family, which seem to enjoy a strong and unbreakable bond. But things are not what they seem. One day, the eldest member from the second generation mysteriously turns up dead in the family estate. His nephew Yi, the oldest son of the victim’s sister and the prime suspect in the case, desperately tries to find out the truth. Source: MyDramaList

Before an incident happen in Jiraanan’s family, all of them just celebrate A-goong birthday together. It is so warm to see a big family gather together, it must be a happy day for A-goong and A-ma that they live till now to see their son and daughter with their little family and have a handsome and beautiful grandchilds. We also can see that the grandchilds really love their A-goong and A-ma. It’s like their family are in happiest moment. Even they took a family picture together.

But who knows, that it’ll be A-goong last birthday. A few days after they gather together, A-goong passed away. This is the real beginning of the story about dark secret that Jiraanan’s family have but no one knows anything about it even the family itself. After A-goong death, it just going worse because of the tradition and old generation believe about differences between son and daughter in the family and honestly A-goong make it worse with his last will that shocking all the family because only his daughter that didn’t accept anything related to their business eventhough she work hard build their family business from scratch. All she got only his father savings; money. Instead, the eldest grandson from eldest son got 1/4 share of the family business. All of it, ended up we’ll see Prasoet the eldest son lying still on the floor.

Yes, the eldest son of Jiraanan family was shot dead. He was found first by his sister Phatson who came over to his house talking about their father’s will and end up screaming when saw his brother was dead. Another family at that time in their house hear someone screaming and rush to get out to see Phatson panicked and said that Prasoet was shot in his home so they ran and as we can see in the picture A-ma, Kuaitiao, and Meimei saw that Prasoet lying still on the floor in his bedroom. After that this murder case became the talk of the town, get into the news, so police tried to find the motive why the murderer killed him. Honestly, this event create a most damage for Phatson family. As people know, Prasoet rarely confront someone and had enemy but the last thing he argue with someone, it’s Phatson. But I said in this drama, it’s not over till it’s over. We can’t be sure that the killer is his sister itself because as we go through this we could see that Prasoet had a few secret that we didn’t knew before and it could be a motive to someone done a murder. We just need to see it clearly and evaluate it carefully. I’m not gonna give a spoiler in this review, but I think you guys will guess it right like I am.

My first thought about this drama is I like how the story always give us a new plot twist in almost every near-end episode and make us wanna watch the next episode as soon as possible. This is one way to make us never bored by the story and they can wrap it successfully. Although honestly I can guess the biggest plot twist of this story but still it’s interesting because this drama get some details that we can’t get pass and that’s also give us some plot twist. You can’t guess it throughly, like you can guess this overall plot but still you’ll miss the little part of plot twist that make this story much better. Because it’s a story related to family, it’s really deep even when we already know the real murderer and all we need to see is just see the person in trial, in another drama we usually feel relieved and happy finally the killer is captured. But I think this drama makes me feel more sad and broken?? When we all see the truth, I think the circumstances are not getting better. The story really revolves only between Jiraanan family and the story behind it give us more pain than the murder itself. It’s not easy left by people who we loved especially it is a family, but it is more painful when we know that the one who doing it also our family. But I can say that all of this happens because of karma from their all bad action that happened in the past. When we know literally all the truth we finally realized why all of this happen to them, because every each of them are deserved it. But it’s all in the past, so eventually we must move on. In the end, life goes on. They’re still our family. We just need to let go of the past, and open a new chapter because only family is the place that we can lean on again. I can really feel it how every character in this drama just doing everything that they could to save their family. They’re not bad people, they’re just doing everything to protect their family. Lesson learned from this drama;

Family is the most important thing in our life because in the end it’s only family that we can go back into, and only family that will stay on our side and tried the best to support, protect, and defend if we get into problems. They’ll do anything. But without us knowing, the closest person that standing with us that can hurt us the most, is family too. But in the end, because the name of ‘family’ that will lead us back together and family is the only place that we can still lean on. Mistake happens all the time.

For each family, if I have to choose whose family I love and attached the most, I would say that I really like Phatson family. I can feel their warm family and all of their sons are really get along well. They always root for each other, trying to protect the only woman in the house, their mother Phatson, and the eldest son Yi will do anything to protect and support his family.

One of my favorite scene is when Tao the 3rd son is a celebrity and when he feel he can’t hold back anymore he burst out to his brothers because only them that can give him comfort and feel protected. It’s also my best scene when they give us this brother scene gather together in one room and talking about anything and end up sleeping together on the floor. I can see from that scene, how they think that family is everything and they’ll never let them down because they have each other.

For the character, I have a few character that I like and attached my attention:

My favorite character; I got 2 character that I love, but first the character that I love the most is (of course) Yi. Despite in this drama his character more leaning to the bold action, like doing anything in a rush, bluntly, and doing a few illegal action but I think he did his best for his family. I don’t understand why he must critized by society in the drama because of his action? I think what he did was right because he already doing everything right and ask everyone that connected but no one helping him instead they just block him away. We can see that he never intented to hurt anyone else too so I’m pro to Yi side. I love his scene with his youngest brother, Toei. If I’m Toei, I’ll cherish Yi all of my life till I die. Because when everything is too hard for him, only Yi that confidently always stand on his side. (okay enough it’s a little spoiler). From this drama, I think I know why Thanapob Lee finally got casted in Hua Jai Sila. I noticed him because his acting in that drama was really really good, I can feel all his emotions there. It turned out here we could see him potray Yi perfectly, and it’ll really help him to get his next drama. He’s not only smart and catch the little detail in his family, but his action is always on point eventhough not all of that is always a right thing. But sometimes to get what you want, you need to do a little more dramatic so the thing you want will show up.

My favorite character; The next character that I like is Pete. Unexpectedly, for sure. To be honest I don’t think that his personality is thaaat nice. It’s about his first impression. When I his first scene with his mother, my first impression of him is he’s a boy who like to spent their parents money for fun and study abroad so he can get away from his parents to have fun🤣🤣 in my opinion; he loves money. TURNS OUT I’m 100% wrong. Pete is the most responsible person in this drama. His responsibility and his fair judgement is the best. He didn’t judge people by his relationship, if he know that this person is wrong then it’s wrong. I love how his attitude to his father’s another family. I just thought he’ll upset and didn’t accept them, turns out he accept them, and he cares them just like his father would do if he’s alive. You deserve happiness, Pete!

Ice Pariss as Chi. He doesn’t have much screentime but still his character ini this drama really shocked me. Kinda same with Pete. Look the picture above. Both of them looks like they have a personality that have anger issue but actually not. I watched his drama and movie like Bad Genius The Series and Ghost Lab, and I didn’t like his character but I admit that his face suited the most for that kind of personality. Being a jerk, brave action without thinking, not a literally bad person but not really a good personality too. So I thought he’ll become a jerk too since his dad didn’t bring their family to Jiraanan family and only went to their house 1 time/week. So what did he expect? But he has good attitude even to his step brother, he’s really polite and when he know that his family didn’t get single penny from his father’s will he accept it. He didn’t get mad eventhough in the end of his dad ‘s life, his mother was the legal wife. HE ACCEPT IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Okay, respect Chi!

From Pete and Chi, I learned that Prasoet maybe not the best brother, best son, best husband, and best father. But he did really well raising both of his sons to the point that his sons really have a good attitude and personality. I adore their personality so much!

(This is one of the difference between this drama and another drama. It is usually the first son didn’t accept that father has another family and another son demand his part from father’s will and clashed BAM!)

My appreciate for Jackie Jackrin for his acting as Toei. I just know him from this drama ( I think) and he’s potraying Toei really good. I can’t tell too much since it’ll become a spoiler but he can pour his soul and heart so well in this drama. I can see how much he adore his brother Yi so much and wanna say that you did it, you made it to survive with your consistency. You didn’t loose yourself just to make you free when your mother told you to do something. I think Yi had a big part that made Toei become a better person and learn from his mistakes.

The most disappointing character of this drama is *give an applause to* Vegas!!! This is the opposite of Pete. I put a lot of hope for him in this drama that he’ll become one of the rightest people but turns out a big nope. At the very beginning he shows us that he’s honest, fair, doesn’t like act wrong and even brave to tell his father lies. He’s the right person. But as the drama continues, we reach a point that Vegas just an ordinary boy who still has heart. His love is bigger than his principle. The only thing that I hope will be released in this drama, turns out it’ll hidden forever till end because of him. It’s the only proof that clearly helping this case but he choose to hide it forever. Another lesson learned I took from Vegas;

Sometimes we just know that human is not perfect. A person who always doing the right thing, eventually will become a bad person if someone we really love and cherish got a problem. They can ruin their life principle as long they can save their loved one. And often happens that the loved ones is Family.

In this family drama we learned that culture and tradition are taking a big part in our family. When a son and a daughter have a big gap in it, when a daughter didn’t considered as part of family just because she married a man and took his last name. Like having a daughter didn’t as good as if having a son. But actually if I think about it, the one who give birth to is a woman????? Why then a son is more valuable descent. They also differentiate their grandson status into a primary grandchild (son and daughter of the son’s family) and secondary grandchild (son and daughter from daughter’s family). But still we couldn’t get rid of the culture and tradition entirely. We just need to adapt well to the good culture and sort the not-so-good culture better.

Overall, I’m really happy that I found this Thai drama. I watch several dramas from Thailand but never found this kind of genre. A family drama that really warms heart but with a touch of mystery and dark secrets in it. But not like another drama that compete for power and will doing everything evil things between family and make things chaos and ruin their relationship as a family because their greedy and selfish will. In this drama we’ll have a dark secret but it’s not always about money, and I still feel their deep kinship, how this problems solved legally but a touch of their kinship because of their dark past. They need to let it go and open the new chapter because life still goes on for the living one.

Since I really love this drama, I’ll give 4.5/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨. Thank you Tor for making me found this drama!

“Family is not always about getting along well everytime, but for sure Family is the place that we can always go back in the end no matter what happen.”

[watchtheblog]

play dough

when i was 7 or 8 years old, a girl asked me what my allowance was and - after she explained what the fuck an allowance was - i told her i didn’t have an allowance because i was poor.

a few days later, my mother beat my asssssss for saying that. i guess the girl had told her mom… who then told my mom… who then beat my fuckin ass!

i have no idea how i knew that what we were was “poor” or who had made me feel like that, or if i even FELT like that, or if it was just a thing i knew to be true. i hardly have memories of being a kid, but we lived in a studio apartment as a family of four until i was 12 years old and we were - relatively speaking, for new york city - poor.

my parents were savvy with money — that’s why i went to a boarding school in london when my parents’ combined income was less than $100,000. my parents were also shady with money — that’s why i wasn’t allowed to go back to that school my senior year for 5 weeks because the tuition hadn’t been paid. and that’s why i’m paying back loans my parents took out in my name to pay for my education at columbia.

yesterday i posted a DM from someone asking how i “fund” my vacations. i responded that i fund my vacations the way i assume everyone does: with money made from working. i also wrote a caption explaining succinctly what i’m rambling on about here now.

someone who i guess can’t read responded accusing me of “being ashamed of being a rich kid”.

when i explicitly clarified that i am not a rich kid and that i have worked for everything i have, this stranger told me that my “schtick” of “driving a porsche, shopping at the supermarket erewhon, and spending weeks on vacation” makes my followers presume i live off family money.

when i read this message i was so convinced that my experience was not valid that i let a stranger gaslight me into believing driving a car, getting groceries, and going on vacation indicate family wealth… when i’m literally not the spawn of wealthy people.

none of those things are suggestive of someone who grew up privileged or rich, any more than they are of someone who has worked for their money.

like, yes, people with rich parents drive nice cars and go on vacation… but so do tik tok stars, and teenagers with youtubes. and so does ariana grande, go after her!

the only reason someone would equate these things to “being raised rich” is if the person were purposefully refusing to believe a human being is capable of being successful and making their own money.

the reason my mom beat me for saying i was poor was because i was “telling our business”. she cared so deeply what people thought of her, of us. no one should ever know when our lights get turned off, or when we don’t have dinner, or when we unplug the landline because debt collectors are calling.

obviously these are moments that don’t need to be shared with the world, but when you’re a child experiencing things and concurrently learning that they are secrets, your parents’ insidious shame surrounding money gets passed on to you. at a certain point, our commitment to keeping our issues with money a secret was the only thing that bonded us. 

we were doing the bow wow challenge before bow wow...

i’ve worked really hard to not have money be a source of shame for me, and to be independent and make a life for myself with no help from anyone so it’s anathema to me that a stranger would so flagrantly and erroneously try to discredit me and my accomplishments, which is why - to the chagrin of most of my friends - i am insistent on engaging with people about things that are none of their business.

also, like my mother, i care so deeply about what people think of me, so i responded to the message, clarifying that my parents are not rich, and that i am a writer. the stranger then told me that it’s unbelievable that my job as a QUOTE writer UNQUOTE would afford me this lifestyle.

i used to say “i’m a ‘writer’” when i was a personal assistant making $50,000 a year. i used to say it when i was a coat check girl making $200 a night. when i first moved to LA, and had no money, i ate one sweet potato a day and wrote nonsense that no one was paying me for for hours. i’d still tell people “i’m a ‘writer’.”

and i used to be embarrassed.

i’ve lived my entire life never being vocal about my accomplishments for fear of seeming like i’m bragging, or for the want to make myself small so others around me can feel big. i can never gas myself up unless it’s in response to someone tearing me down, but here we are so let me stand up:

i’m a writer. no quotation marks.

that’s how i make my living, that’s how i pay my bills, that’s how i support the family i support.

i’m also financially chaotic and reckless. (THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE) up until a few years ago i had tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt from taking trips and vacations i knew i couldn’t afford. two summers ago i made $7500 in a few months on a random $600 stock investment ($FTSV). i took all that money and did the most new money thing i’ve ever done — i bought myself a diamond ring.

i eat microwave tortellini from trader joe’s five nights a week and no i’m not gonna play myself by posting that to instagram - but if you don’t believe me you can ask my friend austin because i send him a photo of it 3 out of the 5 nights.

i also go to europe on vacation every summer because i deserve to spend the money i make the way i want.

instagram is for posting your wins. you should want to see the people you follow on instagram posting their wins. and if your inclination to seeing someone win is to be jealous or incredulous, then you need to reevaluate what goes on in your house before trying to tear down theirs.

i came up. you can leave.

we been getting money :)

*** anyway! this entire thing is very tacky so if you really didn’t want to believe that i don’t come from money, you can BET someone with money would never ever expose themselves to the indignity of speaking about money like this. ta da!

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun 

iii.xviii. (a,m)

Eunbi had helped you so much in the last few days, she explained everything to you and you spend many days in the cafe to learn. You have been sleeping very badly lately because your twins always thought they had to start moving at night. Your concentration was therefore hardly available. "I hope I can pass the exam. I can hardly sleep lately." You sigh and Eunbi tried to cheer you up. "You can do it, you have learned so much for it." When she said that, you could see in the corner of her eye that Matthew was coming into the cafe. It was weird because you've seen him unusually often lately. "He again?" Even Eunbi noticed that this was no longer normal. "Hi." Of course, he came to you and he actually smiled very friendly. You try to smile too, but you just feel your babies start to kick and cause a little stomach ache. "Are you going to the party after the big exam too?" What annoyed you a little was that he kept staring at you. You knew he was just being nice, but you're starting to feel uncomfortable with him. "I'm too old for that." You shake your head. "Come on, nobody notices that you are older. Just have a look." He tried to persuade you and you wonder why he was always so persistent. "Yeah come on, it'll be fun." Eunbi also looked at you now and you could see that she is excited about it. "I will think about it." You hope you can make him reasonably happy with it. But it worked. "All right. But I will come back on that later." He kept staring at you and you just nod. You don't know why, but somehow you had a bad feeling. When he disappeared, you packed up your books and sighed. "Matthew is a little creepy or am I wrong?" Maybe you just got paranoid because Jaehyun sees danger in every man all the time. "I heard that his father was in the military and he moved from country to country as a child and could never find friends because he was only there for a short time. I think that makes a person a little bit weird. But I think he is really nice and he helps us all a lot." Eunbi shrugged and smiled. She was so nice and always saw a good thing in a person. "Yes, maybe you're right." But you still had a strange feeling.

As always after your learning sessions, you take Eunbi home. You didn't want her to go home alone every time because sometimes it got late. It was already a little dark today and Eunbi's house was on the way anyway. "Hey, could you think about the party? I'd like to go, but you're my only friend here. I don't dar to go alone." She looked sadly at her hands, which were on her thigh. "Eunbi, I don't know ..." You sigh, you'd be out of place at a student party. You park in front of her dormitory and look at her. "You know, I didn't have an easy school time. I was always bullied and I hoped that things would get better at university. But I hardly dare to meet people. And it seems that people really like you here." It took a lot of strength to say that and she didn't dare to look you in the face. "Eunbi, there is another secret that I will trust you now ... you have to promise first that you won't tell anyone." You turn off the engine and turn to the side. "Yes, I don't tell anyone anything." She looked at you with wide eyes and you turned to her. "I think it's not a good idea to go to the party because I'm pregnant with twins. You put your hand on your stomach and now she could see the contours through the big sweater. "What? Wow! Congrats! That's why the big clothes!" She looked at you in surprise and could hardly believe it all. "But will you continue studying?" Suddenly her look became sad and it hurt you to see her like this. "No, I finish after the big exam. I could prefer a few small exams and I can also send the papers by e-mail. It is harder for me to go to university every day." Eunbi's face grew even sadder. "But then you have to go to the party. You will be away longer with twins. One last time before we all don't see you anymore." She smiled and you softened. "Okay okay. We're going, but I won't stay long." Eunbi then hugged you joyfully and she was joyful. "You will see it will be fun." She packed her backpack and opened the car door. "Yes, yes, you will see that I am super boring." You laugh and Eunbi waved before you drive off.

When you get home, your children are already sleeping. That always made you totally sad, because it has happened a lot in the last few days. "I've just barely seen them lately and I miss them so much." You sigh and lean against the sink while Jaehyun is washing his face. "It will get better soon. From next week, when the exams are over, you will be back home." He dried his face and smiled. "Eunbi, the girl who always helps me. Asked me if I could go to the semester's closing party with her." You sigh and look uncertainly at your husband. "That sounds good, doesn't it?" He smiled and continued with his skin routine. "Yes, but I'm pregnant." You grab your stomach and Jaehyun had to laugh. "You don't have to drink anything. Remember that we will soon have four children, it is probably the last chance that you can do something like that." He turned to you and looked at you. He was right somehow. "Yes, that’s true. Maybe I will take a look there and I want to make Eunbi a favor. I'm just glad I have her right now. Without her, I would never be able to do this all with the exams." You smile and you two go to the bedroom. "You really like her." He smiled and kissed your forehead. "Yes, I do. She is such a sweetheart. You know, she was a fan of yours. She's a fan of NCT at all." You smile and see Jaehyun sit down in bed. "Oh really?" He laughed and you walk up to him. "Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a fan of yours." You sit on his lap and put your arms around him. "Aren't you a fan?" He laughed and put his hands on your hip. "Oh Jaehyun, I'm your biggest fan. I want a child from you." You smile and Jaehyun had to laugh too. "Thank you for your support, but I'm not allowed to do anything with fans." He winks but at the same time, his hands went to your ass. "Oh, that's a shame. Can't you make an exception for me? I'm your biggest fan, after all." You reach between his legs and start massaging him. "But I’m married." Jaehyun leaned back a bit to get a better look at him. "I can make you happier than your wife." You push his pants down further and take his length in your hand. "Oh? Can you?" He suppressed a groan, especially when you put his tip on your lips. You start to put it completely in your mouth and move your hands up and down. Jaehyun threw his head back and buried his hand in your hair. "Oh yes. That's good," he groaned, and you pressed your lips closer together. You push his cock so far that you almost had to cough because he was so deep in your throat. His whole body twitched and reacted to each of your movements. And when his lower abdomen bulged, you can taste the slightly bitter taste until his cum completely covered your tongue. Jaehyun was out of breath and you swallow his orgasm quickly. "That's what I call fan service." He laughed and pulled you up so you could lie in his arms. "Anything for you." You kiss him and he put his hand on your stomach. "Are the twins awake?" He kissed you too and felt you. "They are calm right now." You smiled and slowly closed your eyes. "I hope I can feel them soon." Jaehyun also wanted to feel something from the two of them. "It's getting tight for them now, I think it can only be a matter of days before they make themselves known." And Jaehyun then kissed your forehead and you fell asleep in his arms.

You had preferred to take an exam with a professor in the evening, so it was really late. After you finished it and got told that you were positive, you are happy to went finally home. You write to Jaehyun that you are on the way and quickly go through the campus. It was all deserted and almost a little scary. You quickly go to your car, which almost parked there alone. You put your bag in the back seat and close the door when Matthew suddenly stands next to you. You startled and held your chest as you tried to calm down again. "Matthew. What are you doing here?" It was sometimes more than coincidental that he was always where you were. "I was still in the library." He grinned and you tried to smile. "Oh okay, I have to go home." You were about to turn around when he grabbed your wrist. "I wanted to ask you something else." You quickly pull your hand back and didn't know if you should feel threatened. "Maybe we can go on a date? Do something nice?" He smiled, but it all seemed so wrong to you. "Hey Matthew, that's really nice. But I'm married." You are unsure about all this, you brushing away a strand of hair and hope that the topic is done. But now he was getting a little more serious. "You lie." This statement surprised you and you could not believe what you are hearing. "What? No!" You were totally shocked by the reaction. "You don't wear a wedding ring." He took your hand and looked at your fingers. During this pregnancy, you could not wear your rings because they were constantly swollen. You are slowly realizing that the situation has become more threatening. "Matthew I have to go home now." You try to get your hands off of him but he held you. "It's always girls like you who think they deserve someone better. Do you think you earn more just because you are beautiful? You women always have it so easy. Always want more. More money, more luxury, more fame. What are you driving there? A Porsche? Who did you have to fuck to get such a luxury?" Now it was clear that you had to get out of here as quickly as possible. You tried to tear yourself away from him, but you weren't that strong. "Let me go." Your pulse rose and you start to panic. But then you hear a voice from a distance. "Hey, are you okay there?" Someone has passed by and saw that something was wrong. Matthew let you go out of fright and you take the opportunity to go. When you set off, you heard Matthew hit your car with his fist and you knew you had to get out of there quickly. Your pulse was extremely high and you drive home extremely fast. You're sure to get a complaint because of speeding in a few days, but it didn't matter. You like to pay that. You were at home faster than you thought, and when you park in the garage, you finally feel safe again. When you turn off the engine, you take a deep breath and feel your baby start kicking. Your pulse was extremely high and adrenaline shot through your veins. "My babies, everything is fine now, we are back home." You look at your belly and gently stroke it. You were sorry that they experienced all the fuss. You just want to make your children feel good.

When you go inside and see Jaehyun, you fall into his arms and breathe a sigh of relief. "Hey, are you all right?" He noticed that something was wrong, but you just wanted to be with him. "Now." You put your head on his chest and realize that everything has calmed down. The babies also no longer kicked so wildly in your stomach. Jaehyun stroked your back, held you tight in his arms, when suddenly Johnny came to you. "The baby is coming. Johanna just called me and she is on the way to the hospital." Johnny smiled and was very excited. "Can I leave you alone and drive Johnny to the hospital?" He knew something had happened, but you couldn't tell him. "It's okay. Go on." You smile and Jaehyun took his things as well. "I'll be right back." He kissed you and then ran with Johnny. And now you were alone in the house again. Your children were already asleep and somehow you feel lonely. The thing had bothered you more than you thought. You first go to Miga's room and watch her sleep for a while. You hope that nothing like this will ever happen to her. You wish that everything you experience, like this and your miscarriage, never has to experience your daughter. You never want her to feel such pain. You will always take care of them and you also know that Jaehyun will always protect her. After kissing her, you go to Sunoh and stroke his hair and he opened his eyes and looked at you. "Mummy." He was very sleepy and his eyes were very small. "Go back to sleep, Mummy is here." You smile and kiss his forehead. But Sunoh reached out to you and started crying. "Mummy, stay." He looked so sad and you sigh. "Do you like to sleep in bed with Mummy?" You couldn’t be alone anyway and when your son nodded, you lift him up and go to bed with him.

daddy jaehyun masterlist