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thisismeracing · 11 months ago

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Heartdresser | LH44

― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x braider!reader ― Warning: mentions of a brother, social media au mixed with regular writing, tooth-rotting fluff, fem!reader (she/her); - 2.8k words + social media setting. ― Summary: When Lewis finds himself just a couple days away from a racing weekend and without his usual braids he desperately searches for suggestions of available hairdressers in the area. As the saying goes, love can come from the most unexpected places, and Lewis is about to discover that this is, in fact, true. (based on this request)

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Being a Formula One Driver had its perks, from obvious and big things such as traveling everywhere to not-so-obvious and small things like having your hair stylist travel to you when you needed them. After becoming an adult and famous, it took Lewis a couple of years to come to terms with his hair, how to style it, how to take care of it, and how to embrace the texture and volume. He felt finally whole when he reached that point, one where meaningless comments on the internet wouldn’t make him rethink his path, goals, and achievements. Of course, comments hurt, but being comfortable with yourself helped, and that was something Lewis learned.

Now, his braids were part of him. The hairstyle being associated with his image in the blink of an eye. Something that made him feel handsome, and connected with his roots. Something that seemed to help other young black boys around, who started to see themselves as stylish and handsome too.

That’s the main reason why he was so frustrated when his braider called him to tell them they couldn’t make it to Las Vegas. And the thing with braids is that it's not only a style that connects you to your roots, and makes you feel comfortable, it is also a hair protection style. Though Lewis doesn’t tell people he has superstitions and somehow it is true, part of him feels like he races better when he’s feeling himself in all senses of the word. This means having his hair in the braids he’s been looking forward to for over two weeks is something important to him.

So in the heat of the moment, he decides to look for help on Twitter.

“Hi, you must be Lewis,” you smile, extending your hands, and the man in front of you takes it in with a grin.

“Hey, good afternoon,” his grip is still thigh yet soft on your hand. “Yeah, it’s me. Thank you for having me on such short notice.” He’s handsome and polite in all the ways one should be to be considered perfect, and you start to understand why your baby brother was drawn to admire his persona outside the tracks.

You shake your head with a chuckle, “It was actually my day off, but I had no problem fitting you in since it meant Dee would get to meet you.”

“Oh- honesty is something I find hot,” he chuckles and adds a grin for good measure, all while looking straight into your eyes and you can’t help but laugh.

Add funny to the list of things Lewis Hamilton seems to be.

“Who’s Dee, by the way?”

“It’s Aiyden, my little brother. I call him Dee,” you explain before adding, “He’s finishing a Chemistry project with a few friends at school. He was tempted to skip but gave up after a pep talk on how school is important, and I would take forever doing your hair just so he could see you.”

Lewis nods while you explain, and then he’s chuckling just like minutes ago.

“I don’t mind waiting for him with you,” he winks.

You’re not sure if he’s being friendly, funny, or flirty, but any of these F words coming from the black guy in front of you are surely making your heart skip a beat.

“You can sit here while I grab everything,” you point to a chair in front of a big mirror and Lewis does as said.

“Your hair looks fire,” he comments, watching from the mirror while you go through the small saloon gathering the packs of hair and combs you would need. “Did you do it yourself?”

“Thanks,” you stop just for a second, smiling when your eyes meet. “And yeah, I did it just last weekend.”

“You look even more stunning with this style,” and just like that he has you giggling again. “I mean it. I saw your profile picture and I was convinced you couldn’t get more beautiful, and then you opened that door with a smile and these amazing braids and I was like wow.” “You’re a funny one.”

“I’ve heard some women like their man funny, is that your case? If so, I’m ready to get into stand-up comedy.”

You double with laughter, shaking your head and biting your lips to keep the funny noises inside.

“Same style you’ve sent me the picture?” Lewis nods. “Any addition or preference?” you ask, starting to section his hair, and he answers no while making himself comfortable on the chair.

And even though you joked about taking forever just so your brother would catch Lewis, you ended up really taking forever because the driver in front of you would joke around and give you flirty comments and you couldn’t help but stop to laugh. The style he wanted was fairly fast, and his curls weren’t that thick, but still, you two did a small snack break when he ordered from a vegan bakery downtown. He was a fun guy to talk to, you came to learn that pretty quickly, which only added to his face card, which certainly was never denied.

It was one of the best sessions you’ve had in a long time.

You were just finishing the final touches, adding water to boil, and cutting the small strands coming off the braids, when the bell over the door rang, announcing your little brother’s arrival. He has an incredulous expression on his face watching his idol sitting on the chair of his sister’s salon.

“Hey man, how was the chem’s project?” Lewis asks and Aiyden turns around to the door, doing a small victory dance and, probably, the most hideous expressions to conceal his eagerness and happiness.

You and Lewis laugh.

“Omg, hi, Lewis!” He finally walks to you, shaking hands with Lewis. His eyes – big orbs gleaming with excitement.

“Aren’t you gonna say hi to your sister, young man?” with your hands on your waist you furrow your brows in the direction of the curly-haired boy who smiles, engulfing your body in a big hug. You hug him back before tapping his back and fake complaining about how he was crushing you.

Aiyden had just turned fifteen, but his love for sports seemed to help him defy your DNA and grow more than your family’s average size. He was almost reaching your height, and he sure was stronger than you, but he was still just your baby boy.

“These new braids are lit, man! Told ya my sister would make it happen,” Ayiden, who still has one of his arms around your shoulders, tells Lewis with a proud smile.

The driver moves his head confidently checking his hair in the mirror, “She was a great braider, and even better company, to be honest.”

Yn rolls her eyes playfully before going back to the water and mentioning for Ayiden to take a step back. She dips the ends of the braids into the water, waiting for a bit before taking them off and draping a towel around Lewis’ broad shoulders.

“So, your sister mentioned a chem school project. How was it?”

And just like that Ayiden and Lewis are talking non-stop while you tidy the salon, watching their interaction with a fond smile. The Brit was attentive to your brother, always ready to listen rather than speak, always engaging, and making Ayiden feel comfortable to share whatever he wanted to.

He probably had no idea, but that was an easy way to get to your heart. Ayiden was your treasure, and the fact that Lewis was treating the boy as if he was his little treasure too only added to the list of things you found amazing about him.

“...right, Yn?” Dee asked and you snapped out of your daydream.

“What?”

“Lewis just invited us to the Vegas GP, I said we were going, right? Please, please, please,” he pleaded in front of you with his two hands together as if in prayer, and you bit the inside of your mouth.

“Sunday?”

“No, the whole package, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” he explained excitedly.

“It will be fun, c’mon,” Lewis tried.

“You have school on Friday.” You reasoned, but Ayiden was quick to explain that Friday wouldn’t be until 6 pm. “You’re the one asking Kali to get my appointments from Saturday,” pointing a finger to your brother you accepted, knowing that your friend and coworker, had a space on Saturday for a hair or two and wouldn’t mind covering so your clients wouldn’t be hanging out to dry. Still, she would probably huff and yapp before accepting. That was something that Ayiden would now deal with though, so you were all good.

Ayiden jumped up and down the same way he did when he was ten years old asking you to get him a new pair of soccer jerseys, and you accepted. It was endearing.

You talked for a few more minutes, Ayiden got his picture, and just like that Lewis was saying his farewells. This time he didn’t shake your hands, rather hugged you and you couldn’t help but breathe in his scent and relish his warmth.

“See you on Friday, guys,” he waved, showing off his perfect set of teeth.

“See you, man!”

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yourinstagram had to drive the kiddo to school today or else he would stay home choosing his weekend outfits lol (traffic is a bitch btw, so if you can avoid downtown, pls do!)

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youngdee why would you expose me like that

⤷ yourinstagram I'm your older sister, ofc I'm gonna act like a mom ❤️😘

lewishamilton nice fit, ayideen!

⤷ youngdee thank you, man! 😎

⤷ fan4490 OMG KJSDKGJSKG

charleslechair she looks so cute

⤷ charleslechair scratch that I just went through her pics

⤷ charleslechair she's hot

⤷ charleslechair and super talented

wolffmickey so its confirmed, she's the braider?

schumachinho *on my knees begging* pls, do my hair too, yn, pls pls 🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️

yourfriend I spent an hour on traffic today in a road that usually takes me about ten minutes 🫠

yourfriend2 bruh, ayideen is getting bigger and bigger, I feel OLD 😭

Friday rolled around quickly and you got to watch the total amount of fifteen minutes of practice 1 before all hell broke. Ayiden explained everything to you along with the whole controversy going on with the LA Gran Prix, which you were just a tad aware of. Lewis wasn’t able to spend much time with you guys that much was expected, but whenever he found a few seconds he would pass by, ask if you guys were ok, if Dee was having fun if there was something he could do, and just overall being the goofy Lewis he was during the appointment. Ayiden seemed to find the flirtatious glances and lines funny, and so did you, except this time it felt a little more real because you were sure a few people around overheard some.

It was an amazing night, you made friends with a couple of people from the crew, and Ayiden had the time of his life meeting a few other idols, and almost started hyperventilating when Hamilton told him he would take him to meet Charles Leclerc on Sunday.

Saturday was even more of a rush, you almost didn’t see Lewis, but he texted before and after quali. So when Sunday came you were still trying to navigate the whole paddock thing, but a bit more comfortable about it. Aiyden was still acting as if it was his own version of Disney land and it was his first day discovering the adventure world. You were loving it for him, of course.

“Nice outfit,” Lewis whispers right beside you, catching you off guard and making you jump in surprise. You were in a corner, just texting a friend, and checking your next few appointments while Ayiden went to meet Charles and you thought Lewis would be there until he came back, but it wasn’t the case.

“You’re sneaky,” you chuckled, straightening your instance and looking into his face only to notice he was already staring at you.

“You look cute when you’re focused,” he winks, before adding, “and when you’re scared too.”

“You look cute when you joke like this,” throwing back at him you didn’t expect for his brows to furrow in confusion.

“You think I’m joking?”

“Aren’t you?”

Lewis giggles. He giggles and you can’t help but smile with the sound and the way his lips part while his eyes squint. “I’m not.”

“You’re not?!”

“I think you’re pretty and smart, and talented. I was genuinely flirting with you,” his explanation makes your insides turn in giddiness, and as if it wasn’t enough Lewis smiles, eyes glued on yours before he asks: “Wanna go on a date with me?”

“A date?” You repeat trying to let the idea sink.

“A date?” This time it’s Ayiden’s voice and you turn alarmed, expecting to see a confused and jealous brother, only to find him with the biggest grin ever.

“Yeah, a date,” Lewis smiles briefly to Ayiden, before staring back at you, waiting for your answer.

You blink still unsure. Fair enough, he was hot, educated, smart, and he checked all the boxes, but that wasn’t any guarantee of a successful relationship, or fling, or whatever he had in mind. And also, his lifestyle wasn’t something you were used to. How would dating him work when he’s often traveling around to drive?

“C’mon, don’t overthink it, Yn.” Ayiden comes to help, standing beside Lewis and the Brit chuckles. “It’s THE SIR Lewis Hamilton,” he points, and this time Lewis laughs.

You bit your lips, not helping but letting a smile escape.

Lewis is in front of you, hands in his pockets, big brown eyes watching you, and the smallest smile gracing the corner of his plump lips. He looked great. And as much as you wanted to deny, there was a vibe going on.

You take a deep breath, smirking at him, “Get yourself a podium and we’ll talk about a date later.”

Ayiden’s eyes widened.

“Did you forget how quali went?! It’s gonna be hell to get a podium, almost impossible,” your brother tries to reason, but Lewis shakes his head, extending his hand to which you clasp in yours.

“Deal,” the driver smiles. “I’ll get you a podium.”

Lewis squeezes Ayiden’s shoulder and winks at you before disappearing into the garage to get ready for the race.

“One more reason why he’s the goat, see? If I were you I would go on a date with him even if he didn’t get a podium.”

You laugh, “For the few things I saw, he likes the challenge. Let me indulge him.”

“You’re crazy.”

“And he’ll get a podium.”

“It’s very unlikely, but I won’t deny the possibility. It’s Lewis after all.” Your brother leans on the wall beside you. “And it looks like he wants this date bad.”

“What makes you think this?”

“C’mon, he’s been flirting with you nonstop since the hair appointment.”

“I genuinely thought he was joking.”

“You can be so clueless sometimes,” your brother rolls his eyes playfully and you slap the back of his head.

“Watch it, young man, I’m still the oldest.”

And you were still right too, because hours later Lewis impressed everyone by getting third place. He kept everyone on the edge of their seats along with Charles who did a brilliant race, and just like that your brother was grinning devilishly your way because now you had a date with no one other than Lewis Hamilton who happened to walk into the garage just as you were handling a water bottle to Dee after he ran to watch the ceremony as if his life depended on it.

Lewis was smiling brightly at you, sweat mixed with champagne, but you couldn’t help but grin right back and lace your arms around him, taking him by surprise.

“I’m all sweaty, sorry,” he whispers, his tattooed hand flatting on your bag and bringing your body closer.

“It’s fine. Congrats on the race.”

“Congrats on the race, man!” Ayiden hugs him too and Lewis smiles, eyes still trapped on you. When your brother lets him go and stays rooted in place looking from you to Lewis you trap the laugh inside, and roll your eyes fakely, pointing for the young boy to give you both some privacy.

“So, looks like I scored myself a date, huh?”

You nod, taking a small step in his direction and trying to keep your hands from tracing all the small details on his face from this up close, “You sure did.” Your eyes were now on his lips, and Lewis grinned.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You already have a date, what else do you wanna ask me?” You’re teasing and he knows it because this time he’s the one to take a step in your direction. The tips of your shoes are touching, and you can hear the rustling outside, but it’s just you two in the corridor, and you hope it stays like this for just a little longer even though you knew he had an interview in a few minutes. His company and attention are something you enjoyed having.

“With how many dates do you find it ok to kiss someone?” His playful tone is there, but his expression makes your knees almost buck. “Can we count practice, quali, and the race as dates?”

And just like that he has you laughing and grabbing his neck to close the distance and smash your lips in a very much-awaited kiss.

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yoursername best date night ever 🤍

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 2 years ago

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More Than Enough

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Rating: T

Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever. Technically part of my Men I Always Meant to Write For non-series series.

Length: 9.9K

Warnings: Angst. Angst angst angst angst, mentions of reader having anxiety, friends to enemies to lovers, has a happy ending

Summary: Mr. Ross (Mike, he’d insisted, but you knew that you had to keep the formalities up for your own sakes) introduced Beth first, giving you a chance to just—look. You’d never bothered to catch up with Harvey once he’d gotten a job in New York. You knew that he was there, of course. The few friends that you had kept in touch with from Harvard had told you. You’d heard his name every couple of months regarding some case that he had tried, some deal that he’d closed. But you couldn’t imagine what you’d say to him if you turned up, and you weren’t sure that you wanted to know what he’d say to you—if he’d have anything to say to you.

There were a lot of things that you remembered about Harvey. You remembered his dimples, and the freckles peppering his shoulders; you remembered the way his eyes lit up when he hit on something good; you remembered the casual, almost bored way that he answered questions in class. Most of all, you remembered how he looked at you.

Harvey used to look at you with warmth, and teasing. He used to watch you hunker over your books and notes, stare you down when he was determined to come out on top in an argument. He used to peer up at you as he tried not to fall asleep on your shoulder, sharing the train ride back to spend the odd weekend in New York.

You remembered the way his gaze used to send nervous butterflies swirling through you. The way his smile made your face go hot, and your heart pound in your chest.

You remembered so many things about how Harvey made you feel, things that you held on to for such a long time—and they were in direct conflict with the way Harvey looked at you when you walked into the conference room that morning.

Something funny had happened in your gut when you’d heard his voice, the way he was warning his associate that he would, “Handle this one, and we’ll be outta here in five minutes.”

As you rounded into the room, you could see that his associate wasn’t convinced; you couldn’t blame him. You’d put up a hell of an argument with Mr. Ross a couple of days before, which had no doubt prompted him to return with backup. Now, you felt the first stirrings of panic, faced with a past you'd tried to forget, but you were too close to the conference room to turn tail, and with Beth already two steps deeper inside, it was too late to bail out. You’d promised her that you’d stick to her side through this ordeal. She couldn’t afford a real lawyer, and the few that you’d spoken to about pro bono work just didn’t have the bandwidth to help her case. The rest of your coworkers had been overwhelmingly supportive, your boss included—you couldn’t think of any other employer that would let a lawyer come and speak with Beth at her workplace without raising a stink about it.

Mr. Ross (Mike, he’d insisted, but you knew that you had to keep the formalities up for your own sakes) introduced Beth first, giving you a chance to just—look. You’d never bothered to catch up with Harvey once he’d gotten a job in New York. You knew that he was there, of course. The few friends that you had kept in touch with from Harvard had told you. You’d heard his name every couple of months regarding some case that he had tried, some deal that he’d closed. But you couldn’t imagine what you’d say to him if you turned up, and you weren’t sure that you wanted to know what he’d say to you—if he’d have anything to say to you.

Harvey looked good. Self-assured, confident, wearing a bright, charming smile as he shook Beth’s hand. You could hear Mike introducing you, and had just a moment to brace as recognition his recognition swelled.

It took over his expression entirely as he met your eye.

Harvey’s gaze flickered, brow furrowing a touch. The dimples disappeared as his lips dropped from a smile to a stunned purse. You shook his hand where it had frozen, a quick, firm pump before you let go.

“Please,” You gestured to the small conference table before you set your things down. The space wasn’t at all grand, it was…Homey. Surely not the sort of spaces these two were used to, if the suits were anything to go by.

“I appreciate your persistence, Mr. Ross,” Beth started, tucking a stand of greying hair behind her ear as she tried to steady her nerves, “But my position hasn’t changed since the last time we spoke.”

You glanced from your elderly coworker toward Mr. Ross. Just out of the corner of your eye, you could see Harvey watching you closely. The feeling was at once familiar and foreign; it made your stomach turn.

“Ms. Owens, I recognize that our client has put you in a difficult position—” Mr. Ross started. You had to clench your jaw to keep from rolling your eyes as he went on, “But the valuation that we’ve offered for you to change the name of your LLC and sell the site is incredibly generous.”

You did smile, then. Hell, you couldn’t help it.

“You disagree?”

Your stomach lurched at Harvey’s question, and you looked toward him. Oh—you knew that expression. His eyes were narrowed; his lips were curled into a smirk that dared you to argue with him.

“Isn’t that obvious? If we didn’t disagree, none of us would be in this room right now,” You pointed out.

“We’ve spoken to our client,” Mike cut in, drawing your attention again, “And he’s authorized us to bump the offer up to $100,000.”

You let that hang in the air for a few moments, brows raising when Mike gave a small, encouraging nod.

“That’s it?” You retorted dryly. “You expect me to believe that a pharmaceutical company with a market value of over three hundred billion dollars is willing to drop a whole 100K? How overwhelmingly generous.”

“Do I need to point out that your cash-grab is standing in the way of medical progress?” Harvey argued.

“Oh, please,” You scoffed. “It's a dick pill, Harvey.” You tried to ignore the stunned, slap-shocked look when you used his name, pushing on—“And if you’d read the comparative studies that the company did, you’d know that it works with roughly a third of the effectiveness of the market leaders. This isn’t exactly going to blow the toupee off of Viagra, no matter what your client says.”

“We could bury you under fees and paperwork.”

“Whoa, Harvey,” Mike muttered beside him, casting him a wary look. You could feel Beth shifting nervously beside you as well. You forced yourself to be calm, and to smile a little, even as your stomach flipped. You’ve done your homework; you’ve prepped. You can do this.

“Yes,” You nodded, “You could. But you’d be doing so at the expense of a woman who has owned and operated a company out of her studio apartment under this name since 1995. What Beth has here isn’t just a little stumbling block for your client—it’s an institution, with hundreds of annual customers and testimonials speaking to the way her products have improved their lives. This may be a blip for your client, but it’s a significant part of Beth’s life. And considering the recent, sharp drop in the company’s stock price and the uptick in legal suits, I wouldn’t be surprised if you all need a win right now. If you railroad us, we will go public with your client’s intimidation tactics.”

“Intimidation—?” Harvey snapped.

“Oh, have they not mentioned the non-stop late-night phone calls, the people following Beth to and from home? The private investigators? The threatening letters?”

You watch Harvey’s expression mar with surprise. You can’t help but chuckle then.

“C’mon. You should know better.” You look down at the folder in front of you. “The fact of the matter is, my client has had to endure a mountain of shit for what is only a marginally effective aid for erectile dysfunction—one that’s projected to make your client nearly $18 million in its first quarter on the market. If you need to close anyone, it’s on your side, not ours. You either bump the offer up a mill, or we go to the press with what we have.” You drew two copies of an article out of your folder, sliding it across the table to them. “Just a little taste.”

“Excuse me?” You heard. The four of you turned your attention to the office secretary, who was lingering in the doorway. Right on time, just as you asked. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you have a call. I can have them hold—“

“No, that’s alright,” You shook your head before turning back to the men on the other side of the table, subtly waving for Beth to stand. “We’re done here. Thank you for your time, Mr. Ross. Harvey, always a pleasure.”

You led the way out, holding the door open for Beth. Vindication shot through you as you just caught Mr. Ross asking, “What the hell was that?”

She was all over the page. Harvey had given the article a couple of passes while he was in the car on the way back to the office, but reading it through again, he felt that even if she hadn’t handed it to him herself, he somehow would’ve known that it was hers.

The argument that Mike was having with Craig Philbrook seemed almost muted to him as he read it for a third time. It was a concise presentation of the facts, but it hit the exact emotional points that it needed to. It was beautifully balanced. Harvey could almost imagine her curled over her laptop, drawing up a draft, editing it with expert precision. He’d seen her work like that before. Sure, it had been a long time ago, but the sight of her hunkered down in Langdell Hall had never really left him—not even when he’d done his best to push it away.

“Harvey!”

He glanced up, brows raising. Craig’s face was the shade of a cherry tomato, and seemed just about ready to pop. His chest was heaving from what must’ve been a spirited bout of argument with Mike. Glancing at his associate, Harvey found Mike wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, at an equal fever pitch. He considered for a moment more before he tossed the article onto the table.

“We don’t have any choices here, Craig,” He admitted.

“A million dollars? That’s insane!”

“Actually, considering what the company expects to pull in almost a eighty mill in the first year, one million is pretty reasonable.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“I’m on yours, Craig. Look, if you wanna action your plan, we’ll sic the dogs on ‘em. But the press is never gonna side with a company that’s putting a little old lady through her extreme financial and emotional distress just for a landing page. If we settle outside of court, slap an NDA on top, none of this ever comes out. Keep it clean.” Harvey pushes himself out of his seat, standing and buttoning his suit jacket before taking the article up again. “Talk to who you need to talk to, but do it fast. Every incident that they noted is another ticking time bomb that we may have to worry about diffusing.” He rounded his seat, heading for the door before he paused and turned back. “Oh, and Craig? Quit having her called and followed. You’re just giving them more rope to hang you with.”

He turned away, tucking his hands into his pockets as he strode down the hall, Mike in tow.

“You think he’ll cave?” Mike asked.

“He will. He has to.”

“Okay—Question.”

“Is it related to the case?”

“Yes. What the hell was that?”

“That was me doing my job. The job you were supposed to handle, and you're welcome, by the way.”

“I don’t mean back there, I mean this morning.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit.”

Harvey cast an irritated glance back toward Mike as he walked into his office. It was no surprise that Mike followed; once he got something in his head, he couldn’t let it go. Neither of them could.

“She said seeing you was always a pleasure,” Mike added as Harvey settled behind his desk.

“Maybe she was just trying to get under my skin.”

“Seems like it worked, and I’ve never seen anyone but Tanner do that. How do you know one another?”

Harvey considered. He didn’t know her, not really. Not anymore.

“We went to Harvard together,” He finally admitted.

“She’s a lawyer?”

“No.” Maybe? He wasn’t sure. He hadn’t checked the bar for her name in a long time.

“So she…Did what with her degree?”

“As far as I know, she never got it. She dropped out, middle of our second year.”

“Why?”

“No idea.”

“Come on, you can tell me.”

“Don’t you have a brief to write or a motion to file.”

Mike was quiet for a moment, gaze sweeping Harvey’s face before his mouth fell open in slight surprise.

“...Oh, my god, you really have no idea,” He managed.

“Why are you still standing here?”

“Does Donna know?”

“Why would she?”

“Because she knows everything.”

“Well, I doubt she would know this.”

“You’re deflecting. She definitely knows.”

“Go ahead and ask her.”

Mike’s mouth works wordlessly again before he turns his head just a little.

“...She doesn’t know.”

“She does not.”

“Unless she does, and you’re trying to double psychy-psych me into not getting an answer.”

“Then go ahead and ask.”

“...She doesn’t know.”

“Are you asking?”

“If she does know—”

“You could be doing this on the other side of the door.”

“Okay.”

Harvey relaxed a bit as Mike leaned back in his seat, then smiled as he heard Mike call out, “Donna?”

He shook his head, taking up a baseball from behind his desk and turning his chair to gaze out of the window, turning the ball over and over in his hands. Mike wasn’t entirely wrong. If there was anyone in the city who may somehow know what happened, he was almost certain it was Donna. Harvey sure as hell didn’t know what had happened.

Harvey could still remember the shock of it—turning up to goad her into going to get dinner with him, only to find that her half of the room was completely cleared out. Her roommate had told Harvey that she didn’t know where she’d gone, didn’t have a number to reach her. Harvey had chased answers down within his means. He’d gone after phone numbers that he’d used and found them disconnected; he’d stopped by her apartment building and asked the doorman for information, even tried to bribe him, but the man hadn’t let a single word slip. Harvey had waited outside for hours in the hopes of seeing her, but had come up with nothing.

No call, no note, not a word of warning or explanation. Harvey hadn’t been worth saying goodbye to then, and he apparently hadn’t been worth saying goodbye to today.

His gaze dropped to the baseball in his hands, his thumb sweeping across the stitching as his chest fluttered with bitterness. Mike hadn’t come back in, so he was almost certain that Donna didn’t have the answers. Harvey eyed the article on his desk, frown deepening.

Maybe Harvey would have to get the answers for himself.

“Um—Did you happen to see Gerald’s email?”

“Nope,” You hardly looked away from your laptop screen as Beth sidled up to your desk. “What’s up?”

“He wants another SWOT analysis.”

You closed your eyes in irritation, drawing in a deep breath.

“Of course he does. Thanks for flagging.” You opened your email, glancing over when you realized Beth was still standing there. “Everything okay?”

“...Just, I haven’t heard anything yet, from…” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “I just wonder if we were too aggressive.”

You nodded a little, offering her a reassuring smile.

“If anything, they’ll counter, maybe for half a mill.”

“But…What that other man had said about burying us in fees, and paper—”

You turned your chair, taking Beth’s wizened hands in yours.

“He’s not going to do that,” You swore. “They’d screw themselves over if they did, and they know it. They’re probably just ironing out paperwork. It’s gonna be okay.”

Beth’s eyes darted between yours before she finally nodded. You gave her hands a gentle squeeze before you let go, turning back to your laptop as she walked away. You bit your lip, peering at your laptop screen. Your eyes scanned it, but you weren’t really taking anything in. You were just as panicked as Beth was that you hadn’t heard anything from the firm. It either meant something very good, or very bad. But you didn’t dare let Beth know how nervous you were. If it hadn’t gone your way—if the company decided to take Beth down—you would never forgive yourself.

You drew in a deep, shaky breath, curling your fingers into your palms and trying to shake off the oncoming shivers trickling down your spine. You’d always hated this feeling—the fear of loss, the swell of hopelessness. You hadn’t felt either so acutely in a long time. You’d been happy for it; you hadn’t missed them. Arguing with Harvey had brought you back to the contentious moments in law school, the panic of not knowing who the professor would call on next, the fear of tripping over your words in front of a dozen of your peers—

You closed your eyes for a moment, drawing in another deep breath and forcing your mind calm. You weren’t in law school anymore. You were a manager at a marketing firm. You did good work. You liked your job. The life that you led was more than enough. The people that you answered to were satisfied with your results—and whatever happened to Beth could be overcome. You were certain.

You opened the email from Gerald, reading it through before you CC’d Anne from finance, Jason from legal, and your boss before you typed out your response:

Hi Gerald,

Per our contract, we’ve completed the four SWOT analyses that we’ve been contracted for this year. Happy to take this conversation offline to discuss renegotiation.

“I’m going out.”

Donna sprang up at the warning, striding to catch up with Harvey.

“Going out where?”

“I need some air.”

“There isn’t enough air in your office?”

“I like outside air. The exhaust, the cigarette smoke, the waft of salt from the hot dog vendor.”

Donna arched a brow, folding her arms across her chest as Harvey hit the down button for the elevator.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the woman that Mike asked me about last week, would it?” She asked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh no?”

“Nope.”

“Too bad. Her LinkedIn, Instagram, and Bumble profile were very interesting.”

Harvey arched a brow, glancing toward Donna before he stepped onto the elevator.

“Since when are you on Bumble?”

“I have a few profiles for research purposes.”

Harvey shook his head, smiling and casting his gaze toward the elevator floor as the doors closed.

When someone came to a stop at your desk, you assume that it’s Beth, or your boss—someone that you worked with. When they didn’t speak, you glanced up, and realized immediately that it was a mistake. Harvey was standing there, his hands in his pockets as he waited to have your attention. You dropped your gaze back to the screen, clearing your throat.

“I’m assuming if you’re here in person again, it’s bad news,” You commented. Harvey’s lips pouted as he seemed to consider.

“Depends on what you consider bad news.”

“I consider Beth getting screwed out of her fair share as bad news.”

“Well, then I have good news and bad news.”

“Okay.”

“The good news is, my client is ready to settle out of court for the requested amount, provided an NDA is signed.”

“I’d need to see that before she signed it.”

“Of course.”

Your brow furrowed.

“Then what’s the bad news?”

“There’s one more contingency to the deal being signed.”

“And what’s that?”

“Get a drink with me.”

Your gaze narrowed, and you couldn’t help but lean back in your seat, arms folding across your chest.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Not at all.”

“If I refuse?”

“Beth will still get her settlement. But,” Harvey tipped his head from side to side, “It’ll probably take way longer.”

“How much longer?”

“Pff…Anywhere from a few months to a year. To be perfectly honest, my client doesn’t want to pay out. I mean, he will, because he knows that our advice is the right way to go, but I can gum up the works.”

You pushed out a stunned scoff.

“You’d seriously do that for a drink with me?”

“We each have something the other wants.”

“What the hell could I possibly have that you want?”

“Answers.” Harvey's critical gaze skimmed your rapidly heating face. “So? Are you busy tonight?”

You felt out of place. The bar was nice, and everyone seems dressed for it…Except you. Well, your workplace was fairly casual. It was rare that you met with clients in person. You dressed up in those instances, of course, but your day-to-day work wear is jeans and a nice shirt. You were trying not to shift uncomfortably, or fidget to adjust your cardigan, or the shirt underneath. You glanced up toward the waiter, offering a small smile as he set your drink down.

You picked up your glass, drawing in a long, slow sip. You’d spent the last five hours distracted at work, torn between trying to figure out what the hell you were going to say to Harvey, what sort of questions he could have. You already knew that this was more likely to be an interrogation than a friendly chat.

He was drawing it out, too. He was taking a slow sip of his own, watching you like his gaze could drill through your skull.

Maybe it could. He was certainly trying hard enough.

“So?” You pressed, unable to help the silence. His lips twitched. Ugh, he’d wanted you to cave first, and you had played right into his hand. Bastard.

“Did you ever finish your law degree?” He asked.

Embarrassment prickled your skin. The conversation was going to be a roller coaster if that was where he was starting.

“No.”

“Never went back to Harvard?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I had no reason to.”

“Not even to visit? Maybe pick up something you forgot?”

“I didn’t forget anything when I left.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Irrelevant.”

“I find it very relevant.”

“I disagree.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Are you?”

“Not particularly.”

“Move on.”

“Speaking of moving on, you seemed to do that very quickly.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You disappeared. No one could get in contact with you.”

“I didn’t want contact with anyone.”

“So you just dropped off of the face of the earth, for what? Fun?”

You shifted in your seat a little, fingers pressing into your palms where they were hidden in your lap.

“Trust me, nothing that happened to me then was fun.”

“Why should I trust you?”

Your stomach lurched; your hands tightened in your lap.

“Take my word for it, then,” You corrected.

“Your word isn’t worth anything to me.”

You averted your gaze, jaw tightening as you leaned back in your seat. Maybe you could just slam the drink back and go. You could hear Harvey leaning forward in his seat.

“Tell me,” He pressed, “What happened.”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“This has been a giant question mark for me for a long time. You know I hate loose ends.”

You drew in a deep breath, leg beginning to bounce beneath the table as your nervous energy swelled.

“I couldn’t do it anymore,” You finally admitted.

“What?”

“I couldn’t do…Harvard Law. That environment, I couldn’t do it. Look, I loved it at the start, I loved the feeling of getting in, but once I was in, it was too much.”

You couldn’t meet his eye; his look was as heavy as ever.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” He asked after a moment. You scoffed a laugh, raising your brows as you finally brought yourself to look at him.

“Are you serious?…Harvey, you were allergic to feelings.” It was a little vindicating to see Harvey shift in his seat as you went on, “If I’d told you that I was struggling, you would’ve told me to buck up, that it wasn’t that hard, that I just needed to put my head down. You don’t respond weakness, you can’t fucking stand it.”

“You did just need to put your head down.”

Your mouth worked wordlessly for a moment, lips curling into a hysterical smile as you breathed, “Oh, my god—” Because there it was. There was the answer you’d expected years ago.

“You were top ten!” Harvey argued. “You were this close to knocking me off out of the top five.”

“I was losing my shit!” You lowered your voice, leaning in. “I couldn’t sleep. I was having panic attacks every time I left my room. I couldn’t handle it, alright? I’m not like you.”

“No, you’re not. I wouldn’t have given up.”

It was like a slap. You bit the inside of your cheek before you leaned back, nodding. You could feel your throat going thick as your eyes welled with tears.

“Okay,” You reached into your pocket, drawing your wallet out for a twenty as you stood. “Well thank you for this lovely trip down memory lane.”

“Sit down.”

“Fuck you.”

You didn’t even care that your language drew the attention of the other patrons. You just strode out of there as quickly as you possibly could, hands fumbling for your phone to get a car. Maybe it shouldn’t have been so surprising that you heard his footsteps behind you moments later. It pushed you to walk faster, to keep him from seeing your watering eyes.

“Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that you’re turning tail and running,” He sounds almost bored, “You’re so good at it.”

“Leave me alone, Harvey.”

“You know, I had the wildest theories back then. Kidnapped by a foreign government, taken by aliens, activated sleeper agent. It’s a bummer to find out that you were just a coward.”

“Stop it,” You warned, shoving the door open and striding through it. You heard his palm hitting the wood behind you to keep the door from hitting him in the face, and you were desperate to escape it in the city noise. Harvey pushed on as if you haven’t said a thing:

“I used to think we were one and the same, but I would never have done what you did. I never would’ve just disappeared. Why didn’t you trust me—” His fingers curled around your wrist, tugging you to turn to him. His diatribe seemed to falter as he took in the tears slipping over your heated cheeks. You twisted your wrist out of his grip, tucking your arms around your middle and keeping your gaze anywhere but Harvey.

“...You could’ve talked to me,” Harvey finally said.

“You would’ve told me then exactly what you said just now, and that was the last fucking thing I needed back then. Frankly, it’s the last fucking thing I need right now.”

“Look at me.”

“No, you—You got your answers, alright? Get Beth her settlement.”

“You want me to get her settlement for you?”

“I want you to get it for her. Because she deserves it. So, get her the money, the money she’s earned, and just…Just leave me alone.”

You turned away from him again, getting just a little relief from the fact that you don’t hear him following you.

You spent the night worrying that your answers won’t be enough, that Harvey would go out of his way to bury Beth in paper, screw her over to the point where you had to go back to knocking on the doors of firms willing to take her case on a pro bono basis.

But when you turned up to work and Beth practically clobbered you with an excited hug, you knew that he hadn’t gone out of his way to fuck you over. You let out a sigh, patting Beth on the back and letting out a relieved laugh as repeated her thanks.

“Be nice.”

That had been your boss’s only warning as you’d headed into a conversation with Gerald. And you had every intention of being nice. But you also wanted to be realistic. You glanced from the finance rep to the landline in the middle of the conference table as Gerald groused, “There's no need to be unreasonable.”

“I don’t think us upholding our end of the contract is unreasonable," You argued. "We’ve done the SWOT analyses that you asked for in the past, and we’ll be happy to do them again. But we need to adjust the contract.”

“You can’t just do a one-off and bill me extra?”

“We could, but if we open that door, you’re just going to keep coming in, Gerald.”

“This is ridiculous,” He snapped. “I can cut this contract.”

“Yeah, you can,” You nodded. “You are absolutely at liberty to do that.” You heard the sound of a door opening to the conference room, but you felt your focus locked-in to the phone. “But if you cut this contract, that’s going to cost you a lot of time and a lot of money. We have a guaranteed pay clause regardless of termination, so if you cut us loose, you’re still going to have to pay us for the full year. While you’re still shelling out cash to us, you’ll have to pay to bring on another firm. You’d be better off negotiating the additional SWOT analyses instead of paying two firms off at once.”

You were quiet for a moment, brows raising as you and your associate waited in silence. You closed you eyes, holding your breath. Please, please please—

“How many SWOT analyses would I get with the increased cost?” He finally asked.

“That’s up for negotiation,” Anne hurried to reply. “As it is, you’re averaging one per month. If we push it to a dozen, we could work with you to discount them at 25%.”

Another pause. Another moment of you holding your breath, of please, please please please please—

“Send the revised contract.”

“It’s already in your inbox," You admitted. "Thanks, Gerald.”

“Yeah.”

You reached out, stabbing the button to hang the phone up before he could change his mind. You sighed, slowly leaning back in your seat and peering up at the ceiling. Christ, you felt dizzy.

“You can’t keep bullying our clients,” Anne grumbled.

“Our clients can’t keep bullying us. If we keep going the way we’re going, we’ll be the firm that does triple the work for half the pay. We’re too good for that.”

“She’s right.”

His voice made you whirl around in your seat, heart sinking into your stomach. Harvey stood just inside the room, his hands tucked into his pockets. Heat prickled along your neck. How long had he been there? Shit, you’d thought your boss had been the one to come in—

You glanced toward Anne with a guilty smile.

“Can we get a minute here?”

“Sure,” She nodded, pushing herself out of her seat. Harvey grasped the door handle, holding it open and shooting her a wide smile as she walked past. You stood as well, folding your arms across your chest before hurriedly lowering them to tuck into your pockets. You wanted to mirror him, look as nonchalant as he did, not all twisted up and shielded and defensive. Oh, you were cool as a cucumber. Definitely no reason to worry here, no way.

Harvey closed the door, stepping a little deeper inside.

“What can I do for you today, Mr. Specter?”

“Thought I’d come see how Beth’s planning on using her retirement check, how you’re going to use your fee.”

You frowned. “What fee?”

“You didn’t charge her a fee? Standard in New York is 40%.”

“I wouldn't take Beth’s hard-earned money.”

“You earned it, too, considering how hard you defended your client.”

“Beth was not a client. This was a favor for a friend.”

“That’s funny, because you called her that during our conversation.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. You said that your client had had to endure a, what was it…‘Mountain of shit’?”

“Well, that is true,” You muttered. “It was a mountain of shit.”

“Could’ve been two mountains of shit.”

“But it wasn’t, so. I thank you for that.”

“It’s only fair. You did what I asked, you answered most of my questions.”

“Most?” You scoffed, folding your arms over your chest. “What the hell else could you want to know?”

“You wanna do this here?”

“I don’t wanna do this at all.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“Harvey.”

“I didn’t have a clue—”

“I am not doing this here.” You spoke more firmly than you felt. “This is my place of work.”

“Well when I tried to do this elsewhere, you walked out on me.”

“And yet you followed.”

“Because I had a chance to this time. I didn’t get the chance back then."

You shook your head, averting your gaze.

“Look,” Harvey stepped closer. “I’m just asking for a chance.”

“Last night wasn’t enough for you?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Well, it was for me. Hell of a flashback, just like old times. Same old Harvey, not knowing when to back off. Strong, direct, painful line of questioning—all gas, no breaks.”

Harvey was quiet for a moment, eyes skating over your face.

“It won’t be an interrogation again.”

“How can I know that?”

“I was angry last night.”

“And you’re not now?”

“...Not in the same way.”

“Oh, well. That’s a relief.”

“I just want to understand. Help me understand.”

“Understand what?”

“How one of the smartest people I’ve ever known changed her mind all that time ago, and then flexed the hell out of her legal muscles to get me to close in ten goddamn minutes.”

“People change, Harvey.”

“You haven’t.”

The two of you watched one another for a long, contentious, quiet moment before he said, “You need to come to my office.”

“What for?”

“To read over the NDA before Beth signs it.”

Fuck, the NDA. You’d forgotten about that.

“Fine," You nodded. "When.”

“How’s tomorrow work for you?”

“Tomorrow's a Saturday. You’re gonna do this on a weekend?”

“Gives us time to turn around any edits you need before you give it to Beth on Monday.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. Goddamnit.

“Fine,” You agreed. “How’s seven?”

“Sure. We can grab dinner—”

“In the morning.”

Harvey’s brow jumped, his chin tipping down a touch.

“Are you serious?” He asked.

“Completely. You wanna get this NDA into your associate’s hands as quickly as possibly, right?”

“You expect me to be in my office at seven in the morning so you can read something.”

“You could’ve saved us both a trip and just brought it with you.”

“It’s still being worked on.”

“Well, you can have someone messenger it over tonight and I’ll drop it off tomorrow morning. Or is it long enough that you’re going to, um…Gosh, what was that neat little threat, again? Bury me in paper?”

You saw something flash across Harvey’s face. You didn’t know if it was remorse, or what—but it’s gone as soon as it appears.

“Fine,” He bit out. “Seven. In the morning.”

“Sounds good.”

“Don’t be late.”

“Oh, I won’t. I’m very punctual.”

“I remember.”

Your stomach flipped. Of course he did. He turned away, opening the door…And holding it open.

“What are you doing?” You asked, raising your brows.

“Are you coming?”

“Are we camping out outside of your office overnight? You strike me as a glamping guy.”

“I thought you were leaving the room.”

“I’m not.”

“Your meeting is over.”

“I have a quiet room and a SWOT analysis to work on.”

“You’re telling me you haven’t done it already?”

Your face went hot at the accusation, lips pressing to hold in your irritation at the way Harvey smiled. You were relieved when he finally turned away. It gave you a chance to sink down in your chair and parse through what the hell just happened.

“Oh, wow. You’re early.”

You raised your brows at the tone of surprise, eyeing the entrance to the building, and then turning your attention back to the young man that had just sprung up in your way.

“Yes, I am. Good morning, Mr. Ross.”

“Please, call me Mike. Not on the other side of the table anymore.”

“Well, until that NDA gets signed, yes, you are, so. Excuse me.”

You made to step around him, but he stepped into your way again.

“I just wanted to say,” He added, “That I really admire how hard you worked for Beth, and I completely agreed with your assessment of the company’s value.”

“...Thank you, I appreciate that. Now, if you could just—”

You side-stepped him again—and again, Mike got in your way, pressing:

“I honestly didn’t think they’d cave for a million, but you really showed them—”

“Mike?”

“Yeah.”

“Did Harvey ask you to make me late?”

Mike’s mouth worked wordlessly for a moment, panic marring his features. You smiled sweetly.

“You know, I’m not sure what Harvey has told you about our past, but he probably didn’t mention that we were in an intramural dodgeball league. I can throw some mean elbows when I’m trying to get what I want, and you look like you bruise easily. So if you’d like to keep your ability to bend comfortably, please step aside and let me in.”

Mike pursed his lips before he nodded once, stepping aside.

“Thank you,” You cooed, sliding past him.

“I really do admire what you did for Beth!” He called out after you. You snorted, shaking your head as you headed to the lobby to get a visitor’s pass. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t more than a little antsy, glancing at your phone as you waited for the elevator, then waited in the elevator. When you stepped off, you found a stunning red-head standing there. Her eyes brightened at the sight of you, and she took a step back as you stepped off of the elevator.

“Mr. Specter’s office is this way,” She waved for you to follow. You raised your brows, falling into step.

“Was that a lucky guess, or did you know who to look for?” You asked.

“I knew. I don’t operate on luck.”

“Right. Did Harvey or Mike show you a picture of me?”

“Nope. I found pictures myself.”

“For what purpose?”

“Curiosity.”

“Sated?”

“Very.”

“Excellent. Do I get to know who you are, or do I have to go sleuthing on the firm’s site after this?”

“I’m Donna.”

“And what do you do here?”

“I just told you,” She stopped, waving you toward an office, “I’m Donna.”

You raised your brows before you turned, walking into the office. How the hell did he look pristine this early in the morning? Did the bastard sleep in a suit? His brow furrowed at the sight of you, shaking his sleeve back and eyeing his watch.

“6:59? What the hell did Mike do down there?”

“He made a valiant attempt, but I got past him.”

“How?”

“How did I get past him?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshitted him. Told him that we used to play dodgeball together, that I know how to throw a mean elbow. He crumbled like a bran muffin.”

“Damn.”

“You really should teach him how to lie. Second I called him on it, he blue-screened.”

“Trust me, Mike knows how to lie.”

“Whatever,” You shook your head. “Can I have the NDA so I can go?”

“Go? Oh, no. This doesn’t leave the office.”

“...Excuse me?”

“This document doesn’t leave the building until it’s ready to go to Beth.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Your mouth worked wordlessly for a moment before you snapped it shut.

“....Fine.”

Harvey took up the document, holding it out. You fought the urge to snatch it from him, instead taking hold of it before you sat down in one of the seats in front of his desk.

“Need a pen?” He asked.

“Nope,” You shrugged off your bag, rooting around in it before drawing out a red papermate felt tip pen.

“You hungry?”

Yes, you were. You’d been planning on getting breakfast and a massive coffee before going over the damn thing on your own, in your apartment, but no. Harvey had done what Harvey always does: turned the situation in his favor.

“No,” You answered, uncapping the pen.

“Let me know if you change your mind.”

You didn’t answer to that, you just tipped your head into your hand as you settled in:

THE PARTIES: This Non-Disclosure Agreement (referred to herein as the “Agreement”) created on__________, is by and between…

You were quiet for a moment, tipping your head to the side as you skimmed your finger over the pages.

“Harvey?”

“Sure, we can do bagels.”

Damnit, a bagel sounded so good right now.

“Why is this NDA…” You tipped your head to the side, flipping through the file, “Thirty pages?”

“Because it needs to be.”

“Ballpark, this should’ve been six, tops.”

“You’re dealing with a big company. They want to make sure their bases are covered.”

You shot Harvey a disbelieving look from under your lashes before you looked back down at the file.

“Besides,” Harvey added, “It’s not the length, it’s—”

“—It’s the content, yeah yeah,” You muttered. You heard him huff a soft laugh, but you forced the flutter of butterflies in your belly aside in favor of focusing. Hell, you needed to get through this, and fast. If you weren’t careful, your stomach was going to start grumbling.

“Here we go.”

You glanced up, doing a double-take at the sight of the coffee tray in Donna’s hand. You looked back down at your work, finishing a note that you’ve been jotting before you turn the page. You went still when Donna held a cup out to you.

“Sugar-free iced dirty chai with a double shot,” She offered. You raised your brows, taking hold of the cup.

“You’re good,” You nodded.

“I’m Donna.”

“I remember.” You couldn’t help but smile at her before you took a greedy sip of the iced chai. Oh man, that hit the spot. You’d been there a while, and you were starting to get a headache. You hadn’t tried to parse through legalese like this in a long time, especially not on an empty stomach.

“So? Are we doing bagels?” Harvey pressed. You glanced at where he was leaning back against an end table lined with basketballs. He arched his brows. “Come on, it’s been an hour and you’re only halfway through. You’re going to run out of steam if you’re not careful.”

“...You’re paying for them.”

“Of course.”

“Then yes, please. Bagels.”

“They’ll be here in five,” Donna warned, striding past you and back to her desk.

“She’s very good,” You commented, nodding after her as you turned back to your work, making another note.

“You really are gonna run out of ink.”

You fought the urge to mimic him, just going on about your business.

“I’ve got plenty of pens,” Harvey added.

“Law firm this big, I’d hope you’d have a few pens.”

“More than a few. Hundreds.”

“Mm.”

“Thousands, even.”

“If you’re not sure if it’s hundreds or thousands, then maybe you should go count them and get back to me.”

“You just want me out of the room.”

“I want you to stop watching me.”

“Why?”

“It’s creeping me out.”

“Did it always?”

“Objection: relevance.”

“If you allow me a little latitude, I can establish relevance.”

“No thanks.”

“Why are you going over this thing with such a fine-tooth comb?”

“I wanna make sure you don’t screw Beth over somewhere.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust your client. You work for your client.”

“I do what’s best for my client.”

“And I’m doing what’s best for my friend.”

“Your due-diligence.”

“I’m just reading, Harvey.”

“You and I both know it’s more than that.”

You ignored the comment, turning to the next page of the NDA.

“Food’s here,” Harvey spoke up after a few minutes of quiet.

“Thanks.”

You could hear the rustle of bags as Donna unpacked things before leaving again.

“...You gonna put that down?” Harvey asked.

“When I’m finished with it, sure.”

“What about the bagels?”

“I’ll take it to go when I’m done here.”

“Come on, I can hear your stomach growling from here.”

“My stomach isn’t growling.”

“Not at the moment, but it has been.”

“I’ll live through eleven more pages.”

“The bagel will get cold.”

“I’ll heat it back up.”

“You’re going to reheat a toasted bagel?”

“Yes, using the same apparatus that toasted it in the first place.”

“A twice-toasted bagel is gonna be hard as a rock.”

“Oh well.”

“And if you don’t eat now, I will use all of the scallion cream cheese.”

“Knock yourself out.”

“I mean all of it. There’s a ton here, and I probably couldn’t fit all of it on a bagel, so I’d have to go in with a spoon. You want me to do that?”

“Do whatever the hell you want, Harvey. You usually do.”

Blessedly, that shut him up for a few moments.

“So did you,” He countered after a moment. You didn't need a law degree to catch that insinuation.

“I didn’t leave Harvard because I wanted to. I left because I had to.”

“You chose to.”

“I made a decision that favored my mental and physical health over my career prospects. There's nothing wrong with that.”

“You ever regret it?”

You considered for a moment, gaze drifting from the papers.

“...Sometimes,” You admitted finally, glancing toward Harvey. “When this whole thing with Beth cropped up, yeah. It was a bummer not to have the full force of the degree behind me. But…If I had become a lawyer, I probably wouldn’t have met Beth, or had enough time to help her, so…” You shrugged, looking back down at the NDA. “It’s not as easy as just regretting it or not regretting it.”

“You regret leaving everyone behind?”

“...Yeah. I could’ve been better about the way I did it, but at the time, cutting everyone off felt like the right thing to do.”

“Even me.”

“Harvey,” You sighed heavily, “I’m not saying that what I did was right for everyone involved. If I had reached out to you, to Scottie, to any of our friends, maybe I would’ve gotten a different answer, but the way that you reacted to me the other day? When you told me that I was a coward?” You lifted your head to meet his eye. “That was exactly what I was expecting. And you know what, it hurt like hell last night, but there is no way I could’ve handled hearing that from you back then.”

Harvey’s jaw worked for a moment.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” He admitted softly. “I’m sorry.”

You hesitated before you nodded a little, turning back to the NDA.

“If it’s what you felt—”

“It wasn’t,” Harvey shook his head. “I was mad, and I let it get the better of me.”

“And you’re not mad now?”

“Not at you for that.”

“But you are mad at me.”

“For making me get up to be in the office at seven in the morning? Yeah, I’m outraged.”

You fought back a smile, shrugging.

“Didn’t mean to fuck with your beauty sleep, princess.”

You turn the page, twiddling the pen between your fingers.

“You’ll make it up to me.”

“Will I?” You arched a brow. “How exactly do you think I’m going to do that?”

“You’ll pay for dinner tonight.”

“Oh, we’re getting dinner?”

“I’m fully aware of the vast difference in our salaries, so I’ll pick somewhere with only one Michelin star.”

“What a generous smug asshole. Time really has changed you.”

“It hasn’t changed either of us.”

“I don’t know. I think you’re more of a dick than I remember you being.”

“I’m blushing.”

“Sure, Specter.”

“Put the NDA down and have a bagel.”

“Bossy.”

“It’s my office, I get to be bossy.”

“Fine. I’ll take the NDA to a conference room and give us both some space.”

“Keep your seat, have a bagel, and let me see what you have so far.”

You didn’t look up until you saw a plate lowered into your field of vision. You arched your brows before you raised the NDA, holding it out to Harvey as you took hold of the plate. You shifted in your seat, sitting up just a bit. Crap, you hadn’t realized how far down you’d slid in your seat over the course of the last hour. You set the bagel aside for a moment, capping your pen and tucking it behind your ear. You twist the top off of the bagel, lapping at the thick layer of cream cheese before taking a bite. You can’t even help the soft, relieved groan that you let out at the taste.

Damn, you were hungry.

You glanced across the desk, met by Harvey’s smug smile.

“Shuddup,” You mumble around the mouthful.

“Didn’t say anything.”

“Didn’t have to.”

You took another bite as Harvey began to flip through the notes that you’d made in the NDA.

“You’re having fun with this,” He comments.

“I’m protecting my friend.”

“And you’re having fun doing it.”

“Sure, Harvey.”

“You are.”

“So you’ve upgraded from not analyzing your own feelings to telling everyone else theirs?”

“Not everyone. Just the people that I know.”

“Bold claim.”

“I told you—you haven’t changed. This NDA proves that.”

“How so?”

“Because so far, you have marked every single thing that I threw in there to trip you up.”

You nearly dropped the plate, and the bagel. You completely froze in the middle of your chewing. Harvey’s smug smile widened as he closed the NDA and reached out, taking up another, far thinner file from his desk, holding it out.

“Here’s the clean one.”

You reached out, setting the plate down on the desk. You flipped it open, embarrassment beginning to well up as you saw entire passages from the previous NDA—the very ones that you’d spent your time marking—omitted. You nodded for a moment before you muttered, “Okay.” You dropped it into your purse, slung your purse over your shoulder, and stood, taking the remainder of the dirty chai and the bagel with you.

“Hang on,” Harvey groaned.

“Nice meeting you, Donna,” You commented, ignoring Harvey as you passed her desk.

“You too!” She chirped over Harvey’s following, and his call of, “Would you wait a minute!”

“Why, so you can keep making a fool of me?” You bit out.

“I didn’t do it to make a fool of you, I did it to make a point.”

“And what point would that be?”

“That you’re a damn smart person—”

“I knew that already—”

“And that you would’ve made an amazing lawyer! You could still make an amazing lawyer!”

“That doesn’t mean that I want to be one!” You whirled around to face Harvey, face hot and close to his as he comes to a sudden stop to keep from ramming into you. “Just because my goals changed doesn’t make them any less important than yours. I am glad you’re a lawyer. I’m glad you have your corner office, your fancy fucking suits, your title, your position. But I’m glad that I have my life, the way I want it, without all of this. I get that what I did hurt you back then, and I am sorry. But I wasn’t fighting to knock you out of the top five when I was at school. I was fighting for my life. I know that I am smart. I know that I could’ve been an amazing lawyer, but I am happy just being myself as I am, right now. If that’s not enough for you, I don’t give a shit, because it’s my life, not yours.”

You left Harvey standing alone in the hall, his gobsmacked, stunned expression remaining as you turned away from him and strode to the elevator. He didn’t bother to chase you down this time, which was a relief. You managed to hold it together as the elevator doors slid open, studiously ignoring Mike as he stepped off and greeted you:

“Hey! Done already?”

You reached out, jabbing the lobby and door close buttons as quickly as you could.

Mike’s brow furrowed as she disappeared from sight. He turned away from the elevator, peering around the corner to see who might be nearby. There wasn’t anyone there for a few moments, and then…Harvey, standing there looking stunned and lost.

“Did she already finish her mark-up?” Mike asked. The question seemed to snap Harvey out of his reverie. He cleared his throat, straightening and turning away.

“She got halfway. I gave her the clean version.”

“What? I thought you were only going to give it to her if she caught 95% of the errors."

“She was on track to catch every single one. Spoiling the surprise didn’t seem like such a bad idea.”

“Is that because this whole endeavor has been a bad idea?” Donna piped up as the two neared her desk.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” Harvey warned as he strode past her.

“I wanna hear it, but I don’t have time, I have uh,” Mike pointed down the hall, “A 10-Q filing to comb through—”

“Go,” Harvey nodded him away before he turned, heading back into his office. He reached out, taking up her half-marked NDA. His gaze skated over her notes, and it was as if he was transported back to Langdell, to the notes that she would scrawl in his margins, questioning his citations and methodology.

“...She’s happy as she is.”

“Donna."

“She said it herself!”

“She’s not working at her full potential.”

“Sounded like she preferred it that way. You’ve seen her at work. Is she bad at her job?”

“No.”

“Good at it?”

“What’s your point.”

“My point is,” Dinna leaned in the door frame, “That success looks different to different people. For you, it apparently looks like rubbing someone's skills in their own face. And I think if you keep harping on what might’ve been, she’ll just resent you for it—and if you lose her again, you’ll resent yourself for that, too.”

Donna raised her brows pointedly before she pushed off of the door frame. Harvey looked after her for a moment before he lowered himself into his seat, tossing the NDA onto his desk. What to do next?

Bringing her there hadn’t brought him much luck, but so far, going to her had been far more effective.

“I’m going to file a restraining order.”

“May as well do it on a full stomach.”

“I don’t have the NDA here, I sent it back with my edits.”

“I know.”

You glanced between Harvey’s calm expression and the bag of takeout that he was holding up. You sighed heavily. You thought you’d been able to shake Harvey, at least for the day. As soon as you’d gotten home, you’d double-checked the NDA, and hadn’t been able to find a thing wrong with it. You’d sent it back with a messenger, unwilling to step foot in that damn office again that day. You’d been certain that that would be in, but there Harvey is.

“I promised you dinner,” He adds.

“I thought you said that I’d be the one paying for it.”

“I take cash and Venmo.”

“Okay—” You drew your hand back to shut the door, but Harvey pressed his palm against the wood before you could.

“Wait a second.”

“Harvey, I can’t do handle a repeat of this morning.”

“I’m not asking you to. This morning, I wanted to understand what happened, I got that.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Harvey seemed to have to brace himself.

“The woman that I knew at Harvard…The woman that I thought I knew—”

“Thin ice, Specter.”

“—I had a different perspective of you then. I know we can’t blank slate this, but I’d like to get to know you properly, and I want you to get to know me. As adults. I wanna know what I’ve missed.”

You considered for a long moment, your gaze dropping to the bag of takeout. Letting him in wasn’t the greatest idea. If it went south again, you couldn’t just storm out—it was your apartment. But there were things about Harvey that you’d missed, too; things that you hadn’t been able to learn about through your mutual friends, and things that you couldn’t just get from googling the guy’s name.

“What’d you get?” You asked finally.

“Chinese.”

“Dumplings?”

“Vegetarian, fried.”

You sighed, stepping back and nodding over your shoulder with a concession of, “Alright.”

There were a lot of things that you had remembered about Harvey. But sitting on the floor of your living room, leaning back against your couch as you ate dinner and drank beer was bringing back so much more. Harvard had held so many bad memories that it had nearly crowded out the good ones, the warm ones. But now, as Harvey busted your balls, teased you, ribbed you as he nudged your knee with his, or your arm with his, or your shoulder with his, was bringing back memories of vicious butterflies.

Oh, you’d had the worst of crushes on this man. It had only been made worse by late nights spent in his dorm, all-nighters pulled at the library, nights spent dancing with him at parties. You’d been certain that there had never been anything there, and you hadn’t pushed it. Harvey had been your friend, a good friend. But now, with the way Harvey’s smiles softened and his gazes lingered, you found yourself wondering if there had ever been anything more, anything that the both of you had buried.

“...I was sorry to hear about your brother.”

Your admission came out of a quiet moment, and it sobered the both of you. Harvey nodded a little, lowering his head and looking at the beer in his hands.

“I would’ve reached out,” You added, “But I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me at that point.”

“I didn’t.”

You nodded at his confirmation, and it was your turn to look at the beer in your hands.

“You knew more about my life than I thought you would,” Harvey added, leaning back against the couch and shifting to face you a little.

“Well, some of our mutual friends kept me informed on the happenings of the great Harvey Specter.”

“Why didn’t they tell me about you?”

“I asked them not to.”

“Why?”

“Figured you hated me.”

You bit your lip as Harvey reached out, taking the beer out of your hands and setting it on the coffee table. Your stomach flipped as his hand raised, tucking two fingers beneath your chin to turn your head toward him. You hesitantly met his gaze, stunned by the warmth you found there.

“I never hated you,” He murmured. “I was upset, sure. I was angry, and confused. But I didn’t hate you.”

“Maybe you should’ve.”

“Couldn’t if I tried.”

“Did you try?”

“Yes.” Hervey’s thumb smoothed along your jaw. “But every time I got angry, I worried, too. I had no idea where you were. I didn’t know if you were alright, if you were at another school or dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“I’m sorry—”

“I know,” Harvey nodded, hand smoothing around to your nape. “But I’ve gotta say, if you ever disappear on me like that again—”

“You’re done?”

“I’m gonna send a hundred fucking Pinkertons after you.”

You scoffed a laugh, brows raising. “That a threat, Mr. Specter?”

“It’s a promise.”He shifted closer. “I’m not losing you again.”

“You did fine without me.”

“I would’ve done better with you.”

“You didn’t need me! You had Scottie, you had Jessica, you have your career and your suits and your—”

Before you could say another word, Harvey pressed his lips to yours. Your eyes went a touch wide at the sudden unexpected contact. It was a moment before you let yourself lean into him. You raised your hand hesitantly, resting it on his chest as he drew you closer. Your knees knocked against his as you cuddled against him, humming softly as Harvey sucked your lower lip between his. You leaned back a touch, smiling as he rested his forehead against yours.

“I want you around,” Harvey murmured. “Can’t that be enough?”

You nodded, sweeping your thumb gently under his collar.

“It’s enough. More than enough.”

Taglist: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @paintballkid711 ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight; @recklessworry ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @nolanell ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @20th-centu-fairy-girl

#Harvey Specter x Reader #Harvey Specter x You #Harvey Specter/Reader #Harvey Specter/You #Harvey Specter fic #Harvey Specter imagine #More Than Enough

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caitlinclarkluver22 · 6 months ago

Text

~ Please Please Please ~ P.B a fanfic ( sfw)

inspired by the song by sabrina carpenter

pov: smart!fem! reader x player! paige bueckers

an: so this is my first paige bueckers fanfic, the intros kinda long, but i think it came out pretty good, but there is gonna multiple parts to this, so just let me know if you’d like another one.

remember blue is flashback and purple is lyrics!!

warnings: mention of alcohol, cheating, lying, and mention of sex

“ i know i have good judgment, i know i have good taste. it’s funny and it’s ironic that only i feel that way.”

you’re a senior in college at uconn, your mostly known for being the smartest person in your classes, never failing one grade, getting higher than a 90 at all times, 85 on your bad days.

you were in calculus, to you it was light work. you didn’t really need to study often, having amazing memory and overall good attention span in class.

since you already completed 2 years of college in highschool, having your associates degree, you were already looking forward to getting your bachelor’s degree this year.

————————————————————————

you were collecting your stuff of the desk, putting it in you book bag, ready to go take a break from the series of classes you had just taken.

as you were walking out of the room, you heard someone call your name.

it was your teacher, professor zamora.

“ hey, your the one with all the good test scores right?” , he asked knowing but just wanted to make sure, to ask for a favor.

“ yes…. i am”, you shyly responded, a little nervous at the sudden attention.

“ okay good, so since you have the best grades in the class right now, i was wondering if you were free for another class period.”

free? another class period? what is he trying to imply? i know i might look naive and small, but I’m not stupid to know what men want. i am lesbian after all. although i had my suspicions, i trusted my professor.

“ yes i actually am. why professor?”

“ great! i was just wondering because my next class period is algebra, and….lets just say ive had them for a few years now…anyways, they need help. just pick the one you want and you can tutor them.” , he said praying that she would agree.

although she did have a break for the next two hours, she could spend one of them helping someone, it’s the right thing to do.

“ yes of course! i’m willing to tutor anyone that needs my help.”, you say enthusiastically, ready to help people be the best they could be.

“ great! just come back in around 30 minutes, and by then they should be here.”, your professor said, thankful for your help.

“ okay i got you.” , you said walking out of class, going to grab a bite to eat.

————————————————————————

after the short thirty minutes pass by, you start walking back to the class, praying that this goes well.

as you make your entrance through the door, you see a familiar face.

shes a blonde, tall, blue eyed girl walking to her desk, a purple nike elite backpack on her back (that looks fairly empty ), and a slow sluggish walk .

you could tell who it was from a mile away, it was paige bueckers.

THE paige bueckers.

you noticed her since in your free time u went to go watch the basketball games, cheering for your favorite player on the team, paige obviously. although you went to almost every game, you went unnoticed by her, standing in the back of the crowd just admiring how she played.

you weren’t a mega fan.

you totally didn’t scroll on tiktok, looking and saving the edits you’d find. damn she’s so attractive…

‘ah ah ah, no liking her. she’s in algebra. she’s obviously not smart, not to be mean of course. just observing.’ , you think to yourself as you look around the room, waiting for everyone to take their seats.

it wasn’t only about academics. paige was also known for hopping around from girl to girl, you know this since a couple of your friends had their fair share of dating her.

you were awoken late at night by a loud knock at your door. who could be awake this late?

as you opened the door, you came to a sad sight.

there your friend, lilly, was crying at your doorstep.

she was sobbing, her eyes swollen , puffy, and red due to the amount of uncontrollable tears.

you knew what…or should i say who this was about.

over the course of 2 months, your friend was on and off with her situationship, paige. lilly didnt know wether her and paige were a thing or not, she never knew what paige’s next move would be, little did she know that her next move would be completely ghosting her and pretending like she didn’t exist.

“ i just- i just don’t know what i did wrong. i mean i bought her things, i spent time with her, i supported her at all her games. every single one. how could i be so stupid? i’m literally one of the smartest people in this whole college and im not smart enough to realize that a girl is totally playing me.” , she sobbed grasping onto you like her life depended on it.

“ it’s okay lilly it’s okay, you deserve better.”

although lilly was your friend, karmas a bitch, she should’ve known better, if she had a wish, she would’ve never fucked around with paige ( LMAOOO ).

lilly, yes got hurt, but she was a bad person. in her past she was known for cheating, lying, and stealing. well stealing other people’s hearts of course. she would talk to them, make them fall in love, then drop them after they bought her a gift of some sort.

another one of your well known friends, keisha, always hooked up with paige. whenever paige was bored, she’d text keisha a good “ u up?” late night text , and keisha would be at her dorm room in no time, ready to have good sex.

of course, they weren’t your friends anymore, you realized soon after that lilly was a bad influence since she lied and cheated, while keisha was just to influenced in alcohol and hook up culture.

in essence, this girl was bad news, and she only liked the bad girls, so you’d obviously have to stay far far away from her….

————————————————————————

“ so how do you find x if you don’t have y?”

fuck my life.

“ paige, it’s not that hard. really. i learned this shit in seventh fucking grade, and you can’t get it. look let me show you….again.”, you said irritably, getting impatient by the second. you felt like you’ve taught her over a thousand times.

you guys were in her dorm, on her purple comforter, you were trying to teach her the literal easiest shit ever, and she couldn’t comprehend it. ugh she’s like a toddler.

“ so to find out x i have to add y and…what again?”

kms.

“ UGHHH paigeeeee”, you said, hands in your hair , frustrated with the stupidity this girl had. how could she be so smart on the court, yet so dumb when it came to math?

“ please, i need help, if i don’t pass this then i can’t play basketball. and we both really know how much i love basketball. it’s my everything. please?”, she said, her player facade fading away, showing her true and vulnerable self.

ugh those eyes….

“ …one more time paige. just try your best to get it. concentrate.”

paige nodded and smiled at her, looking down at the paper to attempt to grasp the information that she had trouble with.

————————————————————————

“ I ACED IT”, paige screamed, jumping up and down.

“ REALLY?”, you said eyes wide.

“ YES YES YES, omg i’m so happy right now!”, paige said , her eyes showing the pure raw excitement paige had.

paige then unexpectedly embraced you in a hug, it catching you off guard, but nonetheless, you hugged back.

if you knew the hug was wrong…..why did it feel so right?

you guys stood there for a solid minute, embracing eachother. you inhaled, smelling the sweet scent she radiated.

“ okay well i gotta go”, you said, sad knowing that this would be the last time that u had an excuse to spend time with her.

“ yea- um same.”, she said, giving u a slightly forced smile.

as you were walking away , sadness filling ur heart, u heard someone shout your name.

it was paige.

“ hey um, what about i take you to dinner?..you know just to thank you for all the work you’ve done to help me of course.”, she said with a hopeful look, her bright blue eyes illuminating like the pacific ocean.

how could i say no to those eyes?

“ um..you know what…yea of course. tommorow at 9 sounds good?”, you said , happier than you’d like to admit.

“ i promised’em that your different, and everyone makes mistakes. but just don’t.”

“ i’m telling you, you shouldn’t surround yourself around her, she’s a bad influence! she literally broke your ex friends hearts! both of them! paige isn’t a good girl to fall in love with.”, dominique one of your most recent friends said, stressed out about your love life right now.

“ i mean, she asked me out to dinner…”

“….she what? don’t tell me you said yes…”

“ i said yes.”

————————————————————————-

“ don’t bring me to tears when i just did my makeup so nice.”

you finished up your final touches in your makeup, when u got a text message.

pb and j

hey pretty girl

i’m here

i’m going.

as you came out your dorm, paige was there at your door checking her breath, startled by your sudden appearance, she smiled awkwardly, bringing up lego roses to your face.

how did she know that i didn’t like real flowers? and that i love legos?

your heart warmed at the sight, smiling at her, full teeth on display.

“ thank you paige, you shouldn’t have, really.”, you said, almost feeling bad that she spent money on you that she shouldn’t have.

“ no no no it’s my pleasure honestly.” , she said with a grin, sighing , relieved that you liked the gift.

“ let’s get going?”, you said.

“ whoever is last is the rotten egg!”, she yelled loudly, before running down the hall making her way down the stairs.

————————————————————————

“i heard your an actor, so act like a stand-up guy. whatever devils inside you, don’t let him out tonight.”

they’re at the restaurant, it’s way fancier than you expected. the waiter sat you guys down, and now both of you are looking at the menu.

when the waiter comes back, both of you agreed on chicken alfredo, and both of you got dr. pepper.

you guys start making conversation, talking about the things you didn’t know about eachother , and your goals in life.

————————————————————————

as you guys finished with your delicious meal, you decided that it was time to leave and go home. it was getting late after all.

as both of you walked out, the moon shining bright on your faces, the date unfortunately coming to an end, you guys talked a bit more, laughing at eachother jokes.

“ well that was fun.”, paige said, laughing, her teeth as bright as the stars.

“ yea it really was…”, you say with a smile on your face that couldn’t be removed no matter how hard you tried. a smile so permanent that it ached.

you guys gazed into eachothers eyes, her eyes taking a trip down to your lips, slowly bringing them back to your eyes once again.

“ paige i-“

you got cut off by paige, as she brought her lips to yours, sealing the night in a fond memory of the kiss you shared, the kiss that was between the two of you.

after a while, you opened your eyes and looked at her. she had her goofy smile on, looking at you with….i think love…? no couldn’t be. just lust.

“ um we should do this again. “

say no say no.

“ yes of course”, you said with a smile.

“ okay well…see you later. i’ll text you! “, paige said as she back peddled to her car, winking at you, before running to the vehicle .

god she’s such a goof.

as you got in your car, you only had one thought while having your head on the wheel, thinking about all the occurrences that had happened over the past few months. even though you knew it might end up bad, you couldn’t help but think…

please please please, don’t prove em right.

————————————————————————

WOOHOOO I FINISHED IT DONT PLAYYY!!! i was literally working on this for hours and my friend dominique was helping me with it too( literally love her )!! anyways hope you enjoy and make sure to lmk if yall want a second part or not!!! 💕💕 sorry if it’s bad ik i misspelled a couple i think and definitely misworded but not so bad to the point where you won’t get it. LOVE YAAA!!!💕

#Spotify #lesbian #paige bueckers #paige buckets #wnba x reader #wnba imagine #wnba basketball #wnba players #wnba

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moonofmercury · 7 days ago

Text

human reader, mild spoilers for 2.4/5/6

A deep sigh from just behind him has Jiaoqiu pausing in patting dry his feet, still tingling from the snowmelt chill of the river nearest to the campsite.

The sensation of you - well you wouldn't know to call it that, but grooming his tail, smoothing the strands even as you occasionally buried your face in the warm fur, making sounds that by now didn't even warrant an ear flicking your way to see what they were, they were so familiar - rose back to the forefront as you sighed again, rubbed your cheek against the voluminous pink fluff.

He waited. You pillowed your head heavily, almost irritatingly so, while also hugging his tail. And then there was another little sigh.

He leaned an elbow on his knee, twisting his ear back to hear you over the whispering water. "What's gotten into you?" he asked, bright, a shiver going up his back as a splash caught up higher up on his calf, almost wetting his rolled-up trousers.

He could feel you pouting, turning your face the other way, strands of fur moving with you and tangling with your hair.

It made him snicker even before you said. "Sometimes I wish I had a tail too."

You eased your grip when he jerked it a bit towards his body, making enough give so it didn't tug so oddly when you laid on it again. "And why's that?"

"I mean, if I was foxian I'd at least have the ears," you conceded considering tailless foxians like Feixiao who never seemed to suffer more than ridicule for the lack. "But you use it for so many things." There was so much body language associated with Foxian tails. "Sometimes, I know immediately if you're uncomfortable, and you twitch it just a little when you're happy," you voice was so mushily fond, it made Jiaoqiu practically wince with embarrassment right there. He could feel his ear flicking with it. Especially when you mentioned that he wagged his tail.

"Obviously it's nice to hold, so soft. Oh, I can even tell when you want something, especially food." You chuckled, only to trail off and sigh again. "I wish it was that easy for you to tell when I'm happy, or when I think you're so cute I could just eat you up."

He can feel you stiffen slightly when you realized your choice of words, which was a bit funny, but he doesn't mention it. It doesn't frighten him, and there were more important things to say.

"I already know when you're happy, or when you're sad," Jiaoqiu reached back, slower than before so as not to appear too clumsy as he groped for your hands. Everything of him was suddenly softer, his smile a little shy and reminding you of the kinds of flowers that grew in the cliff cracks of Meilin Peaks. "When you're impatient you lean on your heels, and when you're excited you balance on your toes." That was easy to notice, especially when you stood next to him. "I have plenty of ways to tell when your appetites are more like a tiger's than a human's, and you're just fine to cuddle," he recovered, rounding back with a more typical tease even as his cheeks heated.

But as he'd known, you perked up, likely also warmed by his gentle mocking, although he hoped you could tell he didn't hate it when you behaved a little more wildly with him.

You coughed, throat suddenly dry, and Jiaoqiu was handing you a thermos, not smirking, but you could feel the self-satisfied lift at the tip of his tail. Menace, you smiled as cold water soothed the cough.

"I suppose all couples have things they just know, and things that still need to be said," you admitted quietly, handing Jiaoqiu back the thermos, pressing it into his palm and watching carefully before letting it go.

"Luck you, I've got plenty to say."

This time, it was you reaching over to press one of his hands. Yeah, you were pretty lucky he'd somehow stuck around.

"If you really mind, we could always try getting you a tail for your Immersia persona."

You groaned. "No. I hate it. It's a total waste of time."

"Moze's beating your high score in the new fishing minigame.

Your eye twitched, and Jiaoqiu's prim posture told you he knew exactly what he was doing. "I'm going to get fired if I try catching up to him."

"Oh please, they never fire diviners. He's got an oarfish the night we left." He was grinning now, the tip of one fang showing and his ears set back playfully.

"I changed my mind. I'm not going back there."

"Even for me?" he fluttered his eyelashes, the barest hint of dull gold gleaming from underneath.

You grumbled and growled and combed back the strands of his tail you'd ruffled out of place. "Only for you."

But you were smiling as he wagged his tail, just a tiny bit.

#hg.post #from the notebook #jiaoqiu #hsr #jiaoqiu x reader #hsr jiaoqiu #i love him so much he makes me feel so silly #hsr x reader

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midnightwriter21 · 2 years ago

Note

Sanemi, Shinobu and Obanai x Giyuu little sister reader. Reader 20 and 1 year younger than Giyuu and is the Polar opposite of Jim like she very playful and curious but also very loving to him and he spoils her. She a civilian who owns a tea shop. May I have headcanons with her and those three and Giyuu reaction to each please?

demon slayer hcs: sanemi & shinobu x giyuu's little sister!reader

characters: sanemi, shinobu, giyuu

warnings: mentions of birth control in shinobu's (idek if that needs a warning lol)

AN: pumped this out at 3am lol, ill be doing obanai in another part!

SANEMI

your relationship was such a slow burn lol

when he finds out ur giyuu's sister its an immediate disliking on Sanemi's part

but are we rly surprised?

dude HATES giyuu

you spend a lot of time with the hashira

and you've become good friends with them so you're always around when the hashira are all together

they all adore u

you're sweet, funny, outgoing, confident

basically everything that giyuu isn't lollll

you brought snacks from ur teashop to one of the lil hashira hangouts

and you couldn't help but notice sanemi absolutely stuffing his face full of the ohagi that you brought

but who can blame him?

he might not like you but he never said you were a bad cook

and ohagi is his favorite

a couple days after the lil hangout

sanemi gets back to his estate after a mission and finds a cute lil basket adorned with a bow sitting on his doorstep

he picks it up and looks inside and its full of ohagi

after he goes inside and devours the whole basket

he finds a note at the bottom saying "enjoy <3" signed with your name

thats it right there.

the way to this mans heart is thru his stomach fr

now

when yall are dating dating

you keep it quiet

none of the other hashira know

and giyuu CERTAINLY doesn't know

until one day you're working at your tea shop and sanemi walks in to pick up the lunch that you made him

now me personally... id turn into a professional cook for this man

5 COURSE MEAL FOR EVERY MEAL

anyways

its not a busy day at the shop so he walks into the kitchen to find you cooking

and this man is HANDSY

so ofc he grabs you by your waist and pulls u into him

and starts feeling you up good lord please i want this so bad

you hear the faint 'ding!' of the bell above the front door

but pay it no mind assuming its a customer

and then the kitchen door opens

and everyone freezes

cause standing in the doorway is your older brother

thats the most expressive face sanemi has ever seen on giyuu

dudes eyes are wide as saucers

mouth wide open

shook af

like "dawg don't you hate me and everyone that associates with me?"

like "you have basically cursed my entire bloodline"

"you told me to off myself because im me"

and sanemi is just "i hate you not you're sister"

and goes back to feeling u up totally ignoring giyuu's presence

giyuu basically just moonwalks back out the door

and pretends he never saw any of that

lol i love them XD

SHINOBU

now shinobu liked you from the second she met you

she went to giyuu's estate to get him for a mission

and walks in to find you teasing and mocking tf outta ur older brother lmao

ofc she joins in

throwing in some teasing remarks of her own

poor giyuu lol

she is a frequent visitor to your tea shop

cause instead of making medicinal teas herself, now she can just get you to do it

plus she gets to see her favorite girlllll

now

the way giyuu finds out is too funny

you are in the infirmary at the butterfly mansion

dw ur not injured or sick or anything!!

now...

you're sitting on the bed waiting for shinobu

when giyuu walks in

and he's like "wtf are u doing here"

you're explain your business to ur brother when shinobu walks in looking down at a needle saying

"alright i have your birth control shot! not like you need it... i can't get u pregnant"

she looks up when she hears a 'smack'

and there you are with ur hand slapped to your forehead and a bright red face

giyuu just looks between you and shinobu with a blank face

before he passes clean out

dude hits the floor hard lmao

when he wakes up you give him an explanation

and then u and shinobu tease him for passing out

lol dude can't catch a break

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soundop-central · 6 days ago

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my favourite brands of megasound in descending order

1. Earthspark

- yall. cmon. for a fandom obsessed with divorced, doomed robot yaoi, im surprised es megasound isn't more popular.

- not really because the megop shippers finally got a compelling good guy megs and a shitty person optimus prime to do their thing with.

- however, i do not ship megop. and i am here to spread my ultimate divorced couple toxic yaoi propaganda. es megasound W.

2. Transformers One

- okay, okay. i know i just got done talking about how es megasound is the ultimate toxic yaoi megasound. however. may i present to you transformers one.

- i have so many fucking thoughts about this flavor of megasound, and i will try to keep this brief.

- soundwave absolutely manipulates the fuck out of megatrons vulnerable state and establishes himself as the only one who is truly trustworthy

- megatron resists at first but soundwave is incredibly patient and megs appreciates that

- soon soundwave is megatrons most trusted associate and has solidified his place in the Decepticons.

- i'll stop here but please i love transformers one megasound........

3. G1

- listen. theyre both just so silly. i just idk man theyre both idiot goofballs who are so trusting of each other.

- autistic soundwave meeting adhd megatron and making one complete person out of each other

- they prank starscream and the elite trine in their freetime. its funny to them, incredibly horrible to the elite trine.

4. Prime

- genuinely i love prime just as much as the others. they have so much history in this continuity.

- enemies to lovers to friends to enemies to weird exes to lovers to friends to exes to lovers to

- megs did so much for soundwave early on in the war and soundwave feels as though it must pay him back with undying devotion

- toxic but not towards each other. cybertron's worst enabler in history soundwave with the space crack warlord megatron

in conclusion. i love megasound. i breathe megasound. i eat megasound. all flavors of megasound are good flavors.

#megasound #tfp megatron #tfp soundwave #es megatron #es soundwave #tfo megatron #tfo soundwave #g1 megatron #g1 soundwave #transformers prime #transformers one #transformers earthspark #earthspark #transformers g1 #maccadam #maccadams

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luveline · 2 years ago

Note

eddie idea for shy friday! reader who is into the same music as eddie & has a similar aesthetic but not the confidence that is associated with it, and maybe eddie takes the initiative to interact with her because she’s nervous to do so? :)

thank you for your request! eddie x shy!fem!reader ♡

Some metalheads are super loud and some aren't. Eddie knows guys who've been in the scene longer than he's been alive who barely talk about it. He doesn't really need you to be loud about what you love to get the message.

For starters, you look fucking sick. Your hair, the makeup, toned down but undeniably influenced by all the greats, Joan and Chrissie and Kim Gordon. You dress in simple stuff like he does, though you usually swap dark jeans for skirts with pretty, shiny studs and tights with ladders climbing your thighs. He's been meaning to try his luck with you for ages, but he hadn't wanted to do it while you were working —he has a funny feeling that behind the bar is the last place you want to be asked out.

It's his good fortune that he finds you in a record store in Indianapolis. He does a double take, thinking he's seeing some other pretty girl in black. It wouldn't be uncommon here.

But there you are, sorting through classic rock records with a darling mildness about you. Unhurried, always so quiet. He kind of really loves that about you, the delicate way you move and the unassuming curve of your lips.

He decides to just go for it. In and out.

"Hey," he says, trying to be a normal guy. It comes out a teeny tiny bit too loud. "Fancy seeing you here. Are you looking for something?"

Eddie's no master in girls but he understands body language pretty well, and feels guilty at the shift of your legs, one thigh pressed to another as you lean back.

"Hey," you say, "um, no, I'm just looking around."

"That's a good one," he says, nodding at the vinyl between your fingers, Sad Wings of Destiny. "I love Judas Priest."

You put the record down, and he worries for a split second that you're gonna bolt out the door, and he's acting like a creep, but you grab the zip on your jacket and pull it down to your navel.

You're wearing a Judas Priest t-shirt with a rip just under the soft valley of your chest. "Me too… You're Eddie."

"I am," he says, a little surprised that you know him, but trying to be suave. "I guess I'm at The Hideout too much if you know me before I've introduced myself."

"I–" You clasp your hands together against your stomach. "I've wanted to talk to you, tell you that I like the band… you remind me of Judas Priest, actually. You know, 'cause you and your second guitarist, you're a twin assault."

His jaw drops dramatically. "Are you flirting with me?"

It's the worst thing he could've said. You swallow, and he's about to take it back, make a joke about his huge mouth, but you smile gently.

"Maybe," you say. "Is that… okay?"

"Girl like you?" Eddie gives you his smoothest smile, his eyes half-lidded as he looks down at you. "Beautiful, it's more than okay."

You bite your lip, turning your smile back to the bin of vinyls.

"Are you busy? Maybe you could help me find something specific?" he furthers.

You don't look at him, but you nod. It's a great start.

Eddie doesn't have a record in mind, so he names the most obscure one he can think of and feels it like a punch when your eyes light up in recognition. You find it quicker than he thinks you will, you know exactly where it'll be, and he scrambles to drag it out. He hasn't even started on what he wants to ask you, what you like doing outside of work, if you did your hair yourself, if you're free Friday night.

"Uh," he says eloquently, "are you busy? You're a mastermind, and there's a couple of other LPs I wanna check out that I'm too dumb to find myself."

And that's how Eddie spends 137 dollars in forty-five minutes. He learns your details through stacks and shelves, revelling in your shy answers, and how hard you laugh at his cheesy jokes.

You wince as they ring him up in sympathy. He starts to regret his decisions, but you slow in front of the door and look at him through your lashes.

"Did you wanna get coffee?" you ask.

"Yes," he says immediately, his jaw aching in the effort it takes not to grin like a fool, until he remembers himself. "Or, I would. I don't think I can afford it."

You smile gently. "My treat."

He's so entranced, he forgets he's broke.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson scenario #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #stranger things #shy friday

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loveinhawkins · 2 years ago

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Eddie quietly falling more and more in love with Steve with every car ride—every time it’s raining, and he watches as Steve does a stupid little run with an umbrella to the front porch so Robin won’t mess up her hair before a marching band concert.

Falling in love with the constancy of it, with every little routine Steve does. It takes a few weeks of listening for Eddie to figure out that when Steve first half-sings, “Good mornin’,” as everyone clambers into the car that he’s imitating the song from Singin’ in the Rain.

Falling in love with how Steve always, always either has the radio on or a tape playing something that he can sing along to, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. How the car’s always this chaotic space but always, always brimming with love and joy—Steve snapping his fingers every few minutes, like, “Oh, Rob, this is our song! You know, when the—yeah, the shift when—no, not that one, the other time that—” (Eddie discovers with fond amusement that many, many songs share the title of ‘Robin and Steve’s song.’)

Steve singing along to the chorus of Mr. Blue Sky whenever Dustin’s called shotgun in the front, and Eddie soon realises, his heart fit to burst, that it’s because Steve must associate the song with Dustin; that he does the same thing with everyone he gives rides to, like it comes so naturally to him, his love for each person intertwined with each song, like he’s making the melody anew every time.

Eddie, tipsy from ‘Graduation Champagne’ courtesy of Nancy, asks Steve once if he has a song tied to him.

“Ah,” Steve says, smiling and bright-eyed in his role as the designated driver, “you have a whole damn catalogue, Eddie.”

And… oh.

Well, Eddie reasons, heart skipping a beat, he doesn’t need to know all of them at once, then. He doesn’t mind waiting, letting each one unfold, like unwrapping an expensive chocolate.

One night the two of them are driving back to Hawkins alone, having spent the day at a mall shopping for Robin’s birthday. They really didn’t need to spend the whole day, had already got her presents within the first couple of hours, but they dawdled, messed around, tried on increasingly ridiculous hats and sunglasses to make the other laugh.

And Steve fiddles with the radio until he finds an obscure station that just plays songs from musicals. And yeah, he sings along, but his voice is a little restrained, almost like he’s shy. Eddie looks at him with a soft smile, suddenly knows he’s seeing something precious, something Steve perhaps reserves for car rides alone. That Steve is letting him into a private moment.

“You have a real pretty voice, man,” he murmurs, quiet enough that they could pretend it goes unheard under the noise of the car driving along.

But as Steve looks ahead, he smiles, and his ears turn red.

He goes for it for the rest of the ride, voice back to its normal volume. He plays it up, trying to make Eddie laugh while they’re waiting for traffic lights to change. Catches his eye and damn near trills, “I feel fizzy and funny and fine, and so pretty, Miss America can just resign.”

And of course, Eddie laughs. Feels his stomach swoop. He knows what this feeling is. Oh, he knows.

As the West Side Story tribute ends, Steve’s voice drops back to his normal register. Turns gentle and sincere as he glances at his wing mirror and sings, almost to himself, “For I’m loved by a pretty wonderful boy.”

Yes, Eddie thinks, you are, you are, you are.

#have a little something before 1) next emotional chapter of nbtdad (an idea from here kinda related to it)#& 2) upcoming emotionally devastating dustin pov fic #steddie #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steve and robin #steve and dustin #everyone loves each other so damn much & Steve’s love is like the sun & Eddie is so gone for him ❤️

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hestzhyen · 1 month ago

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An Extremely Subjective HakuHiro Romantic Trope Breakdown

Greetings, void. This arc is rough and the brainworms won't let me write my own hurt/comfort fan fiction- they demand half-baked analysis instead of lovemaking. So have the closest thing that passes for fluff from yours truly.

In essence, this is just a list of the explicitly romantic tropes I love applying to HakuHiro with varying degrees of gushing ship babble as justification. Some are definitely skewed hard towards headcanon but there's always at least a tenuous connection to something that's demonstrated in the work itself. Proceed if this kind of brain rot sounds like your jam! Otherwise just please let me die from cringe in peace.

Battle Couple

Offense and support working in perfect harmony.

So this is just one of my personal favourites, but Chihiro and Hakuri definitely have strong vibes for this trope. They fought together in an absolutely stunning display of mutual trust and understanding in the Rakuzaichi Arc. Seriously, these guys pulled off some truly spine-tingly good moves to take down Kyora despite Hakuri only just awakening to his powers the very same day.

They demonstrated this again in the train fight protecting Uruha- Hakuri and Chihiro only need the bare minimum of communication between them to fight in style. I look forward to more chances for them to show off their teamwork! If they end up fighting back-to-back in canon I'll probably just straight up ascend to fudanshi heaven on the spot. I LOVE BATTLE COUPLES.

Love at First Sight/Rescue Romance

"This is the kind of man I need in my life."

Love at First Sight is pretty self-explanatory: person A sees person B and immediately falls head over heels. It's easy to slap that on Hakuri in his introduction chapter- he's only missing an invitation to get to know each other over some coffee when they finally meet up, really. Unless asking someone to help you kill your family is the Kagurabachi universe's equivalent...?

As for Rescue Romance, it's another very simple scenario: person A is saved by person B, which causes them to fall in love. Chihiro saves Hakuri with the other random people at the site of Sojo's massacre attempt, and Hakuri... yeah. You get it.

I think there's a better trope to associate to this later on in the list, but Love at First Sight and Rescue Romance are still apt and very funny tropes to apply towards Hakuri's first impression of Chihiro. The way he waxed poetic over the mystery samurai who saved and inspired him had me in stitches. Seriously, my oldest notes on Hakuri from that chapter are mostly just laughing about him being really passionate about Chihiro for someone who's not intended to be a love interest! Go get 'im, Hakuri. He needs you in his life just as much as you need him in yours.

Mindlink Mates

Don't need to hear each other at all if you just "get" them.

This is something I like to apply as a Fanon concept based on what happens in canon. Hakuri and Chihiro aren't literally linked mind-to-mind via telepathy, but both of them have a deep understanding of what the other's thinking and feeling at any given moment. I really like the concept that they understand everything about each other on an instinctual level. It's mostly fueled by the Aun concepts that have been associated to them, which I'll get into during a later section. But yeah. Hakuri and Chihiro being borderline telepathic in how they can sense the other's status. That's crack cocaine to me and it's not too far removed from canon so I'm running with it.

I also really like the idea of their strong emotions and desires bouncing off of and amplifying each other's, but I don't know if there's a specific trope for that, so it gets placed here at the end of this tangentially related section. Also not something far removed from canon given how they both fuel each other's self-destructive savior tendencies because they feel the same way!

Moe Couplet

They're so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute

A Moe Couplet is essentially a pair of characters that enhance each other's cute traits. Separate, they are perfectly fine individuals with their own appeal. Together, they are adorable and capable of some tooth-rottingly sweet moments. This trope isn't typically associated with romantic duos in stuff aimed at general audiences, but it's common in BL as the basis for "fluff" works and wholesome pairings.

This is probably the biggest stretch to apply towards canon on the list, honestly. We haven't seen that much moe moe action from Hakuri and Chihiro- they're kind of busy fighting for their lives or hurting themselves to save others most of the time. But the few moments we get send me straight into cuteness agression-induced brain rot every time I think of them.

Most of this trope label for HakuHiro comes from little details. Like Chihiro often being shown reassuring Hakuri, and Hakuri getting some of the sweetest smiles out of him in return. Hakuri brings out Chihiro's soft side when Char's not around to do so and Chihiro helps Hakuri be his absolute silliest. These guys are are so good to each other! They melt the ice around my cold, dead heart into a slurry of hnnngh and incoherent shipper screeching.

What's it actually based on though? Well, I thought I was just doing normal delusional fudanshi things by thinking Hakuri is extra cute when he's around Chihiro and vice versa. But then Hokazono-sensei threw me a bone in an interview by saying he intended for Hakuri to "bring out Chihiro's personality and add some cuteness". And I. Just. I exploded into confetti on the spot. MOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

One True Love

This ship is not merely an OTP to me, if you haven't noticed.

Note: "ai" is not inherently romantic despite it being the end-goal of pretty much every romance novel out there. It's for deep, profound affection felt for someone- friends, family, even pets. It's rare and not commonly said aloud outside of the climax of a love story is all!

This is mostly tied to Hakuri's experience with love growing up and how he can find out what 愛 [ai, purest and deepest love], really means.

Hakuri probably has no fucking clue what love of any kind is really supposed to look or feel like, much less the ultimate form of it. His father threw ai around as something to manipulate his children into serving the family tradition. Soya used it as an excuse to torture him. This was deliberately done to contrast with the love that Chihiro knew growing up- true ai between father and son, which was cruelly ripped away from him.

So let Chihiro teach Hakuri, and Hakuri provide in return. They're already each other's perfect partners anyway so just put a romantic spin on it!

Hakuri finding unconditional love he doesn't fear in Chihiro and Chihiro finding the same in Hakuri once more. Neither of them ever needing to fall in love again because they slot together so perfectly to fill the gaps in each other's hearts. Oh I'm gonna die...

Opposites Attract

If not meant to be canon, why colour coded as opposite compliments? :thonk:

This is the trope that activates a primitive part of my brain that overrides all thoughts with eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee noises when it comes to HakuHiro. Hakuri and Chihiro are true opposites that are perfectly balanced to contrast and compliment each other, resulting in a duo greater than the sum of it's parts.

Hokazono-sensei made his intentions about Hakuri and Chihiro extremely clear by going so far as to colour code them for us. This is the protagonist and his foil/deuteragonist guy who is Important as Fuck. The level of detail in designing and writing them reads like he took this trope extremely seriously and said "let's save the Hero + Lancer coding for Hiyuki instead". 'Cause as much as I love her, Hiyuki's got nothing on Hakuri when it comes to this trope. Her thing is closer to being the same person as Chihiro with the opposite frame of mind and mode of expression- it's Hakuri and Chihiro who are the true manifestation of Opposites Attract down to the tiniest details. I'm ready to die on this hill so come at me and put me out of my misery.

I mean just look at these guys:

Chihiro: black and red, stoic, reserved, serious and polite, slim and straight profile.

Hakuri: white and blue, emotive, outgoing, silly and casual, loose and boxy profile.

They invert the same ways under pressure; Chihiro stresses and falters while Hakuri focuses and buckles down. Their fucking backstories are in on it too: they both lost their father's love but under distinctly opposite circumstances. Even the love they received was contrasted since Kunishige was a perfectly wholesome dad while Kyoura used love in an abusively manipulative way! And that laid the foundation for the premise of the Rakuzaichi arc- Hakuri wants to destroy his family's legacy while Chihiro still wants to do right by his. It would take a whole 'nother post to list everything between them because every single detail about one is carefully crafted to be present in the other in order to complete their characters. It's absolutely insane and it's what really sold me on the ship.

The level of care put into writing Hakuri and Chihiro as opposites who complete each other is out of this fucking world. I'll feel sorry for whatever girl gets assigned to be a mandatory heterosexual love interest for either of them because there's just no way to compete when two people are written to be so thoroughly intertwined with each other.

(To clarify just in case: I don't think Chiyuki is a bad ship. I'm not trying to trash it and say HakuHiro's better or more legitimate somehow. I just have an issue with shounen romance in general because the girls don't get nearly as much narrative effort to make them compelling companions to the MC compared to the "best friends" and Kagurabachi is doing nothing new in that regard so far. Hokazono-sensei can actually make a bigger impact by refusing to tease Chihiro and Hiyuki at all instead of going down the tired old path of obligated sub-par heterosexual ship tease/romance IMO.)

The Power of Love

Nice Heroic Second Wind you got after thinking about Chihiro there, Hakuri.

So this is definitely skewed towards pure delusion on my part, but that's what we're all here for anyway. Power of Friendship? Never heard of it.

Basically, person A uses their love for person B to power up and overcome the hardship they're facing. In this case, I'm interpreting Hakuri's tendency to think of Chihiro when he's in dire straits as romantic!

Hakuri comes in clutch a lot and his feelings abut Chihiro are the reason he can do it. The memory of his samurai refusing to yield gives Hakuri the strength to keep standing and finally put Soya down in chapter 36. He does it again in a sadder way in Chapter 58 when he thinks of Chihiro and musters the last of his strength to summon him too late to save Uruha. I have no doubt that he'll have more of these moments as the series goes on, too. Chihiro is kind of hope incarnate to Hakuri.

Chihiro's drawn strength from his feelings for Hakuri too, but not in a pinch kind of way like the Power of Love trope typically implies. I'm just waiting for the day when it's his turn to use memories of Hakuri to keep standing (never gonna happen)!

Ship Tease

Putting this here for lack of a better term, but there's a running gag about Hakuri and Chihiro's relationship that's been escalating in intensity since the early parts of the Rakuzaichi arc. It only comes across in bits and pieces in English compared to Japanese, sadly, but I'll do my best to explain it.

Basically, I'm interpreting the jokes about Hakuri acting like a dog as deliberate ship tease for the lols from the author.

"Paw. Shake. Good boy."

It starts in chapter 28 with Hakuri dropping everything he's doing to run over to Chihiro when his name is called. It's really cute and funny and not something that can get lost in translation- Chihiro calls, and Hakuri comes. Just like a loyal dog to it's master.

It's set aside for a while until the Sword Bearer Assassination Arc starts up and Hiyuki drops this banger during the trial in chapter 46:

"But where he [Hakuri] stands is a big pain in the butt. He's not the one calling the shots." - official TL

Of note is the term Hiyuki used to say that Chihiro's the one in charge: 舵取り [kajitori]. The normal meaning for it is "steering a boat" or "helmsman" with the secondary being leader/director, so it's not like the English TL messed up. Same meaning different wording. What's lost is the subtext: 舵取り as Hiyuki's using it can also imply that Chihiro's in charge of Hakuri like the owner of a dangerous guard dog would be lmao. Hakuri kind of earned that jab after threatening to leave her in the storehouse to die if she hurt Chihiro, though.

And then there's this completely unnecessary scene from Ch. 50...

"Who's this? This little squirt smells like Chihiro, but he's not Chihiro."- official TL

The TL again isn't bad here but it really downplays just how fucking weird Samura is (which downgrades the rocket propellant to mere ship fuel). Samura's phrasing about Hakuri smelling like Chihiro was so batshit insane in Japanese that fellow JP shippers felt compelled to reach out to the rest of us in English to let us know, which is almost completely unheard of.

Basically, Samura wasn't saying that Hakuri merely smelled like Chihiro. He actually said that Hakuri was wearing Chihiro's scent, completely enveloped in it to the point of smelling identical to him. A native JP reader (in the link above) said that in their interpretation, the word "まとって [matotte]" isn't really used for friends, but more for lovers, family members, or dogs and their owners in the sense that being so physically close all the time causes their scents to rub off on each other.

It's not a normal term used to describe smelling like someone in the first place. When Samura meets younger Chihiro in the flashback and says he "reeks of Rokuhira", he just emphasizes the typical word for "smell/scent" (香り [kaori]) in quotation marks in the Japanese version. So for some reason we just had to know that Hakuri smelled like Chihiro in the way dog or a lover would, huh... so much so that Samura thought he actually was Chihiro... (I can't get over this, it sends my sides into orbit every fucking time).

So yeah. That's some top-tier ship tease if I do say so myself. What that dog doin'? What did they get up to on the train before meeting with Uruha? That's for us to decide!

Soulmates

It's not exactly hard to see that Hakuri and Chihiro have a bit more going on between them than standard friendship or brotherhood, even for a shounen series. Even some dudebros acknowledged this before the fandom gave over to homophobic trash anyway.

It all stems from Hakuri invoking one of the most potent romantic tropes there is as soon as they meet:

"That day, a samurai lit my helpless existence on fire."

Jesus Christ Hakuri, that's some passion!

I think the "soulmates" trope is the most fitting description of what's going on between Hakuri and Chihiro from the very first time they meet. I'll even go so far to say that it actually has a pretty damn good case for being canon in a platonic sense!

For the uninitiated (like I was), the soulmates trope is invoked when two characters feel a strong and immediate connection upon first meeting each other. It can be one-sided or even completely rejected by both at the start, but they will always find their way to each other since they are fated to be. The whole world falls into kilter when they get together even if they were perfectly functional people on their own before. HakuHiro is this trope to a fucking T in my mind. Absolutely flawless execution, 10/10 no notes.

Hakuri's part is obvious- he sees Chihiro and decides he must have this amazing person in his life no matter what. He feels the pull of destiny and answers the call with an overabundance of enthusiasm.

Chihiro's part is more subtle. He does the one-sided rejection thing at the start by running away, but fate pulls them together via circumstance and he takes Hakuri back with him. And somehow, for some reason, Hakuri is the first person he opens up about his genuine feelings to in a surprisingly raw way:

"If I don't do something, and a sacred blade takes the lives of innocent people... I wouldn't be able to bear that..."

He met the guy minutes ago, tried to run away from him, then decided to bear his heart to him in the elevator. Chihiro's a natural stoic who doesn't show much of what he's feeling and generally keeps thoughts like this to himself. But Hakuri brings out this softer, more vulnerable side to him that no other character has before. Then as the arc progresses, Chihiro comes to rely on Hakuri more and more until it's crazy to think that he ever ran away in the first place. It's like they were always meant to find and save each other.

I'm not looking too hard at this with shipping goggles strapped to my face. We get confirmation that this is what's going on with them via The Word of God Himself:

From the Volume 4 description: 一方、兄からの愛と暴力によって地に伏した伯理。今際の際に脳裏を過ったのは、ある少女との日々だった。極限の中、二人の少年の魂が呼応する。

"Meanwhile, Hakuri is struck down by his brother's love and violence. On the brink of death, he remembers the days he spent with a certain girl. In the midst of this extreme tension, the souls of both boys resonate with each other."

The last sentence is basically more total harmony/Aun imagery for Hakuri and Chihiro. 呼 (ko) means to call and 応 (ou) means to respond. Together, 呼応 means to act in concert. So Hakuri and Chihiro's souls call out and respond to each other in perfect sync when they're in dire straits. It's canon!

If that's not enough, then there's also the Aun imagery. It was left out of the EN Chapter 38 colour page as usual (never gonna forgive the EN version for removing the text), but basically the author used deliberate religious imagery to tell us that Chihiro and Hakuri have an inherently harmonious relationship. A and Un, in perfect sync- whatever one starts, the other will finish. The beginning and end of all things. A perfect pair.

They demonstrate this lethal effectiveness by working in tandem during the storehouse fight, with Chihiro only needing to yell Hakuri's name for Hakuri to perfectly interpret everything he's thinking and execute on it flawlessly. It's absolutely insane stuff even if we disregard Hakuri only woke up to his power less than an hour ago in-universe isn't it?! And they repeated the stunt the next day while protecting Uruha, so it wasn't just a one-off for a cool moment. It's core to their dynamic for their souls to resonate in total harmony!

And just to top it off, we got a funny little gag of Chihiro and Hakuri passing out and waking up at the same time side-by-side after the auction, totally in sync.

All of this within a week of meeting each other.

Some actual romantic soulmate couples don't get this much effort put into coding their relationship, just saying. I also don't think people would be so quick to jump on the sibling interpretation after Shiba's "What are ya, twins?" joke if Hakuri and Chihiro were a heterosexual ship option, just sayin'.

Unknowingly in Love

No sad pictures of dead Kunishige in this post!

This is another one that's far closer to fanon than canon. It banks on the fact that both of them grew up isolated and, quite frankly, probably poorly socialized compared to the rest of the world.

Chihiro lived with just his dad in a remote mountain home and only occasionally visited the town nearby with Shiba. No friends, no school even. Hakuri lived on the secluded Sazanami estate surrounded by his family and saw some of the outside world, but likely only the criminal elements of it. Plus there's the whole growing up only knowing love as something abusive and manipulative thing; even his parent's marriage was strongly implied to be arranged and joyless. Neither of these guys have anything decent in their personal lives to reference from!

So in my mind, while Hakuri and Chihiro have certainly heard of romantic love and thought about it themselves, they wouldn't really have an idea of what it feels or looks like to them. Couple that with being each other's first friends ever and you've got some extremely potent fluff (or angst) about them being unaware that what they're feeling isn't platonic.

You Are Worth Hell

I will follow you into the dark.

And to round things off, one of my favourite romance tropes ever! But it's not canon at all- YET.

You see, Hakuri and Chihiro are constantly pulling each other forward. When one stumbles, the other's there with a helping hand. But what happens when one descends into hell like Chihiro says he's doing this very arc? Will the other try to throw them a lifeline and hope for the best?

Nay! The other will stay by their side out of love.

This trope can veer too close to toxic situationship scenarios for comfort, it's true. Characters staying to "save" someone or letting themself get dragged down at their own expense is not healthy at all. But the core sentiment of this trope is that anything is bearable if you're with the one you love. The emphasis isn't on the mutual suffering but rather the comfort of being together despite it all.

My personal interpretation of the relationship between Hakuri and Chihiro is that one was born in hell (Hakuri) and the other has condemned himself to it (Chihiro). Hakuri's trying to rise up while Chihiro has consigned himself to sink further into the darkness. They met at at a crossroads on their respective journeys and are walking together for a while. And when Chihiro takes a turn to keep going further down, I think Hakuri will stop him from going too far. Hakuri will be the light in the gloom until the mission's over. Then they'll figure out if they can make it back up or not. And if they can't? Well, he was already at rock bottom before Chihiro came into his life. It's worth it to stay in hell at his side and face everything together.

So I think this can apply very well to HakuHiro as the current arc progresses. Hakuri choosing to stay as a partner to provide support rather than trying to save Chihiro at his own expense would be huge character growth for him. And Chihiro accepting Hakuri's gesture would be growth for him too- he doesn't have to do this alone. There's no truly Bad End for their stories if they are walking side-by-side to face the hardships together until the end.

That's it. If you got through all this, thanks. Yap at me about tropes I missed! I love hearing the myriad ways other people interpret this ship. Unless you think fixed left-right boring seme/uke stereotype ChiHaku is the only valid interpretation, in which case we can never be friends. Sorry not sorry.

#kagurabachi #hakuhiro #chihiro rokuhira #hakuri sazanami #I visited TV Tropes for the first time in years to help make this list since I'm not savvy on trope names #It was disappointing but not surprising to see that the romance tropes section is still extremely heteronormative #The general Kagurabachi page also doesn't have a dedicated HoYay section- it's all buried in the YMMV tab #How is that even allowed with all the passionate men gushing about each other in this series #I don't care enough to try and fix it myself though. I'm sick of general fan spaces and the mean-spirited snark around m/m ships #Trope meta yap

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