#so it feels funny to associate it with a couple

[sparklingsora]

so thanks to this polyvees server i joined recently i found out that apparently theres a polyvees week happening over on twitter. this is for day 1: duo. and it's veeswap au because i'm me

[loveryoushouldvecomeover-mp3]

said this before but being bad at things will always be soooo endearing and beautiful and whimsical To Me like gosh you're so bad at this thing you're learning for the first time what a wonder!! what a curious individual with a lust for life you are what a lust for life!!!!! and if this isn't your first time and yet you're still bad at it how lovely too! your enjoyment doesn't come from being the best or even being good but just the participation of such a thing!!!!?!??? what a fucking lust for fucking life!

[sleevebuscemii]

look i don’t believe in white people but robert pattinson and suki waterhouse dating is like. i can’t believe this didn’t happen sooner?? like i dont even mean that in a ‘i think they’re cute’ way at all they just seem like two people that by all means should’ve dated in like. 2015. but somehow they just got around to doing it now

[drgnflyteabox]

a little continuation of this. john price x cashier fem!reader. verbal abuse, anxiety, yelling, hurt/comfort, price comes to your retail rescue<3<3 1.4k words

The only good part of a 5am wakeup is watching the sunrise slowly climb the sky.

There’s a quiet sort of tiredness that lets you appreciate it more — and though the lot associates have made a joke about the morning crew and their sunrise photos, there’s an element of truth there that’s both funny and a little beautiful.

It’s a drag to wait outside the doors for a manager to open them, trying not to make eye contact with the early-bird oldies and the impatient contractors who think they should just be allowed in before everyone else based on the amount of money they spend.

When the doors open and the 6am hardware warriors stroll in, ready and chipper, you’re half asleep leaning against your counter.

Another good thing about the early shift is the lack of uptight managers. None of them want to wake up before ten, so you’re safe to lean and lounge while waiting for customers.

A call comes through your earpiece after a few customers, nearing the cusp of 8am.

”Hey, we’ve got the guy coming your way,” your head cash – Lisa – says, voice crackling in the mic. The guy is a rude jerkoff, some contractor who thinks abusing staff is the way to get good service and better prices.

What’s worse is that your managers allow it. In fact, you get warnings like this all the time. The guy is here, the guy has a big order, make sure to cash him out fast or he’ll start shouting. Be pleasant. Smile.

The guy is walking down the store lumber aisle with a pinched expression on his face and two other employees dragging his stacked carts behind him.

You try to ignore his caustic vibes, thinking instead of the pink, purplish sunrise you’d seen earlier. Clouds like magic, cotton candy, floating above you 

You ignore the incessant tapping of his feet, the annoyed groan he makes when you lift a package of insulation up and find flat saw blades.

Sure, you can’t accuse him of stealing. But you can make a cheery, passive aggressive comment–

“Oops, I guess you forgot these!” you chirp, scanning them a little slower than necessary. It’s not mature, but it does make you feel a little better. Nice try, bozo.

Playing the idiot cashier helps with these types. Why are you mad, sir? I’m just a cashier? And though you could answer more questions than you do, you don’t. Playing the ditz makes life easy.

Lisa’s definitely judged you for it, but hey. She’s not stuck at the register like you are.

Sometimes, it works. You get a scowl, but they’ll go quiet. Sometimes.

Today, it backfires.

“Excuse me?” 

Oh here we go, you think. It’s way too early for this.

“What was that, sir?” you play dumb, voice squeaking.

“Are you accusing me of stealing?” his volume raises. You see redness crawling up his neck. Fuck.

“No, no, I only meant–” you try to backtrack. Fuck, fuck. This is the result of your hubris. Your reasoning flies out through the massive lumber area doors as his rage climbs.

“No? No? Because I think you just accused me of stealing. Do you understand how much I spend here, you moron?”

“I do, I didn’t mean to imply–”

“Get me a fucking manager, now,” he snaps. God, you have no clue if he acts like this to get his way, to get discounts, or if he’s really this angry half the time he comes in.

Regardless, the effect is real. You’ve never been good with anger, and you’re shaking a little as you press the call button on your pager.

“C-Can I please have a manager down to lumber cash?” you broadcast to the store.

All you can think of is looking away from his angry gaze while you wait. Oh, a bubble bath – you have an aloe and green tea bubble bath packet at home waiting for you.

Hot water. Bubble bath. Manager to fix this mess. Maybe a hot chocolate after work?

A couple minutes pass. Longest minutes of your life.

No answer. The guy taps his foot, sighing loudly, angrily. You try again.

“Can I please have a manager down to lumber cash?”

Oh fuck, is that someone else in line? You turn away bodily, speaking again into your mic. Trying to look like you’re doing something about the wait.

Another couple minutes. Despair washes over you like a cold blanket of snow.

“Need a manager at lumber cash,” you try.

Typical, really. Lisa is likely on break, and you have no idea who’s managing the store at the moment.

You imagine it’s likely Cody, who’s good with contractors like this because he's personable but he’s also lazy it almost cancels out. Also, he takes a smoke break every 5 minutes.

And never takes his pager.

“What the fuck is taking so long?” you hear behind you.

���I’m sorry,” you say, turning. “My manager is busy at the moment but–”

“Busy?” his voice is like a gunshot in the airy space, an absurd volume for the time.

“Yes–”

“Do you know–”

A third voice cuts in.

“Think you better learn a little patience, mate,” British?

Oh, shit. It’s that guy from before. He’s got one hip a little cocked, a frown on his face like he’s smelled something bad. His boonie hat is titled down, nearly covering his eyes. You can see them because you’re shorter than he is.

“Excuse me? And who are you? Mind your business,” the guy says.

“I think you’d better let the nice girl check me out while you wait,” he motions for you towards the parallel cash desk, and you’re grateful to just follow.

You scurry away from the guy faster than is appropriate, calling out again as you cross the open space towards the other cash desk for a manager.

You can only hope they arrive while you’re helping this one. John Price, you think his name was. He's a memorable man. Him and his moustache and his expensive company.

John Price has left the guy flabbergasted. He also has twice as many carts as him, and when your eyes widen to see them he just says take your time in a smooth, deep voice.

Oh man.

You do take your time, already calmer for John’s presence. Strange maybe to feel safe in the company of a stranger, a contractor no less, but it’s a nice change of pace.

Beep, beep. You scan methodically. John has no hidden items, and he doesn’t pressure you. He leans up against his lumber order and watches you check underneath things, under the cart, doing everything you’re trained to do.

“Start early?” he asks.

“Hm?” you lift your head. “Oh, yes. 6am.”

He whistles.

“Hard worker, I see,” he helps you lift a heavy bag of concrete.

“Thank you,” Marx look away, you think. Your face is only a little hot.

Cody strolls in the lumber doors missing his apron and – you guessed it – his pager. You fix him with a look as he smiles in greeting.

“Need a manager when you’re free,” you rush. Cody is nice, but you’re kinda miffed now.

“Oh, sure,” he says, walking by you toward the breakroom.

John Price raises a brow.

“Not everyone’s up to the task, eh?”

You feel hot again.

“It’s just early.”

John smiles. He looks remarkably silly doing it, you think. His facial hair makes him look approachable, cuddly. Like a teddy bear.

John’s order totals double the guy, which isn’t really a victory for you but it feels like one. Ha! See, you aren’t the richest guy here. You feel vindicated. Cody looks miserable cashing him out, which makes you just a little guilty.

“Will that be cash or card?” you ask, finger hovering on the POS.

He pays with card. You certainly do not notice how he cradles the machine. You aren’t that down bad.

Only you are, and his fingers are huge. His knuckles are hairy.

When you go to hand him the receipts, printed twice for record keeping, he manages to slip a 50 into your hand before you notice.

“Oh, no! I’m not allowed to–”

He folds those big bear paws over your hand, enclosing the cash in it with a sh sh sh as you protest.

“For the trouble,” he winks.

“You didn’t give me any trouble,” you try. The warmth of his palm, the roughness of his calluses. You’re a goner.

He chuckles, and you wonder how he can be both so intense and so disarming.

“You know what I mean, sweetheart,” he squeezes your hand, pushing it gently back towards you until you can put it in your apron pocket.

“Thank you,” you squeeze out.

“Don’t let him get to you,” he says.

“I’ll try,” you thank God or the universe or whoever that Cody and the guy finished a while ago.

“Attagirl.”

Yeah, you’re a goner.

[zemnarihah]

i looked through my old blog for the first time in like years and it is so so funny. and so so sad. To see how excited i was about the scholarship that I lost literally my first semester of college.

[soobnny]

dating him | yang jeongin

❝ why’d you come into my life so late? ❞

chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | JEONGIN

guys this one’s a secret romantic

even the boys are shocked when he tells them he has a gf now so casually

like WDYM ?!!??

anon said this but picture the boys eating at a restaurant

and the boys r like the food here is crazy good like how’d u find this place

and he goes idk my gf recommended it

and then there’s silence

before all hell breaks loose

bc wdym … wdym u have a gf and u didn’t tell us ????????????

dramatic faces of betrayal from hyunjin and han i can imagine bc their baby didn’t tell him

i think seungmin would know just bc they’re dorm mates and i think jeongin trusts to ask him advice without BOOKING him to the boys

he seems nonchalant on the outside, just a silly boy

but he’s the sweetest

i think he’d treat love so gently ☹️☹️

he’s always wanted to explore romance, always wanted to find it

he couldn’t ever admit it out loud bc he knows he’d get teased

he was the boys’ baby after all

and since he was the boys’ baby, by association, you were now their baby too

u two are the couple they adore

they act like they’re ur parents

chan dad mode activated

anyways he’s kind of emotional and sensitive

so i think the both of u navigate through love for the first time together

it’s a lot of ups and downs

BUT …. it’s led to him realizing just how much he loves you

i totally believe you’d go on either the most goofy dates or very expensive dates

no in between

he’d be the type to treat you and have staycations at 5-star hotels

you’d just cuddle and watch movies and eat room service

YES I SAID CUDDLE

even the boys were shocked when they saw it for the first time

bc ?!!!???? their baby ?!!!?? physical touch ?!!?

jeongin never minds when it’s with u

but it’s also something he’s had to learn

he’s very appreciative of ur patience

anyways back to ur dates

i can imagine u guys just buying a bunch of strawberry cakes and doing a taste testing

like u’d record it and everything

u can’t post it bc he kisses u like 928373 times in that video

there’s a makeout session like once

oh, and dinner dates

and very competitive rock paper and scissors over who pays for the food

except when he loses, he’d cheat and say he’d go to the bathroom but he’s actually paying for it

so keep ur eyes on that boy

i think he’d also be the type to really enjoy clothes shopping with you

you’d just put on a fashion show for each other

he’d end up buying a few things he rly liked on you

he’s got good fashion sense

might sneak in a matching item or two

maybe some shoes so it’s more subtle

jeongin also loves playing tourist in ur own city

the two of u would just walk around

visit some tourist spots

take pictures even

it’s just rly funny and rly cute

it feels a lot like being a kid again with him

u guys even buy useless toys for kids and bring them back to the dorm

😭😭😭😭

this includes like those little charms for kids

u two end up making craft bracelets and necklaces

and even tho they look ridiculous, u wear them in public

this is ur own version of promise rings

anywahs minho ends up taking some of the toys u’d bought for his cats

when the boys come home, u two are usually just cooped up in jeongin’s room

bc he wants his privacy!!!!!!!!

but when he lets it slip, and u two fall asleep on the couch, expect lots of pictures taken

i’m sorry

the boys are also emotional

they’d wake u up so u guys can have dinner together

he’d get so blushy and embarrassed and threaten his hyungs ofc

han jisung: when will it be my turn ???

they just want love from innie too

UGHHGHG kicking each other’s foot under the table while eating

he loves annoying u

but u love annoying him equally

when u aren’t over at the dorms

he’d be the type to text you random links on youtube at 3am

those charlie bit my finger type beat

gorilla destroys crocodile epic video

jeongin also gives me the “sends u things” vibe

u’d suddenly receive flowers without warning

or get those “did you eat?” texts and if u say no, yeah, best believe he’s already delivering food to u

hmmmmm u’d probably be his plus one in fancy events

but u guys end up ditching those to eat at fast food chains

yes … in ur very fancy dress and his rly sexy suit …. out in a fast food restaurant

u guys get weird looks but

jeongin doesn’t mind 🙁

as long as he’s happy with u

AWWWWWWWW

u guys also attend or volunteer for charity events together

i think he’s rly found his match

treat each other well !!!!!

congrats on finding love

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[missfertileandferal]

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

[milliumizoomi]

armando headcanons w his gf that is the total opposite of him? kind of like grumpy x sunshine? 😫

𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒

☆彡SUMMARY.; In which Armando doesn’t understand why for the love of god he fell in love with such a hyperactive woman.

☆彡FEATURED.; ARMANDO ARETAS x FEM!READER

☆彡TROPE.; ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP || GRUMPY x SUNSHINE

☆彡FORMAT.; HEADCANONS

☆彡GENRE.; FLUFF + CRACK + ANGST [if you squint]

☆彡WARNINGS.; Mature Language, mentions of violence, mentions of guns, mentions of possessiveness,

☆彡NOTES.; no cause I saw this request and immediately knew this was gon be tewwww funny😭,, thank u soooo much for the request love and I hope you all enjoy!!🩵

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED🎉.

★ firstly, I’d like to preface this by saying that you both met through his dad.. in a roundabout type of way

★ He was working a case with his dad, got shot at, the usual, shooter missed and you, an innocent bystander, almost got a hole put in your body had he not snatched you out of the way

★ and after that, he just became interested in you

★ his dad even game him a phone just so he can call and text you

★ and to be honest he wonders why.. because you’re “strange” he says

★ maybe it’s the fact that you didn’t even flinch when you almost got shot at, opting to thank him with a bright and warm smile

★ or maybe it’s the fact that as your relationship progressed, you found out who he was and what he does for a living and simply shrugged it off

★ he genuinely doesn’t get it.. at all

★ but you barely give him enough time to keep him thinking about that when every second you’re with him you’re practically bouncing off the walls

★ the both of you couldn’t be any different

★ you were practically a ball of hot radioactive energy, always laughing or smiling about anything at all

★ while he liked staying quiet, and when he does open his mouth it’s straight disrespect to anyone he’s taking to

★ so naturally, he finds you hard to deal with at times

★ not in the sense that he’s irritated with you, but in the sense that he wants to knock you out just so you can calm down

★ and if someone irritates him, you’d have to step in and excuse him before he can say anything that would get a gun pointed in his face or a fight breaks out

★ and when he’s around, you get fully dependent of him

★ seeming that he’s not around a lot having been in jail, whenever he does come out, whether it be a couple weeks or even months, whenever you get to see him it’s like you turn your brain off and let him make all the decisions

★ and as much as he hates to admit it, he actually doesn’t mind when you act like that (he loves it)

★ you act so wise eyed and elated everytime you’re with him

★ which throws off a lot of people in his circle of “associates” as he likes to call them

★ because how the hell did this happy go lucky woman get this is cold blooded murderer

★ and then you’ll just tell them “he’s hot and I love him so it works out”

★ and with you being so hyper and energetic, he’d definitely be reeling you in some of the time

★ he’d wouldn’t be rude with it though, but he’s very firm with you

★ like if he thinks you’re getting too loud when you’re in a group and having a conversation he’d be pull you into him by your waist so your back is on his chest

★ then he’d whisper in your, “calma tu trasero mamá” (Calm down your ass, mama)

★ and you ofc listened cause like.. who wouldn’t???

★ because of your personality, people tend to flock around you a lot, loving the energy you give off

★ he however, doesn’t play that shit and will tell people to back the fuck up

★ especially when he realizes that you’re starting to get uncomfortable

★ he’s possessive as shit so anybody he doesn’t know he doesn’t want crowding you or being in your space

★ you’d also bite him a lot and he’d let you

★ simply because your bites barely feel like anything since his pain tolerance is so high from all the fights and shoot outs he’s been in

★ and eventually, whenever you do manage to wear yourself out, he’ll carry you, whether it’s on his back or he picks you up by your thighs and wraps your legs around his waist

★ you definitely made him softer, to the people he knows like his dad and stuff, but that’s about it

★ and whenever he does get mad at you, he can’t even say he’s actually angry because you’d be smiling in his face

★ and when he is in jail and you go visit him, you carry his favorite foods and stuff and put little sticky notes with smiley faces and I love you messages that he can only crack a little smile and shake his head at

★ and seeming that your always so happy, you smile doing anything at all, and he loves that cause he thinks your smile is so pretty

★ that doubled with the fact that he finds your lips extremely sexy for some reason

★ and he’s actually very protective over you

★ type of boyfriend to say “wear what you want, I can fight”

★ you definitely soften up his image while with him

★ usually he’s the silent, intense type when he’s alone, but when you’re standing next to him, smiling up and him and pulling at him to go somewhere with you then the intensity goes down somewhat

★ that’s only cause he’s looking at you tho, when he has to look away from you that intensity comes right back

★ firmly believe also if and when he comes to you with injuries, you take care of them until you’re sure they’re all cleaned and wrapped properly

★ in private, he loves when you wash his hair or doing hair for him while you’re yapping away about something that happened while you were out that day

★ so in conclusion, you stress him out in the best way possible and he makes you put all you social abilities to good use to get his ass out of trouble

{TAGLIST} :: @loakswifesworld @ghettogirly @tinys0ftie @shurisgf || if you’d like to be added to the taglist just let me know in comments or dms😉💕.

[moonofmercury]

human reader, mild spoilers for 2.4/5/6

A deep sigh from just behind him has Jiaoqiu pausing in patting dry his feet, still tingling from the snowmelt chill of the river nearest to the campsite.

The sensation of you - well you wouldn't know to call it that, but grooming his tail, smoothing the strands even as you occasionally buried your face in the warm fur, making sounds that by now didn't even warrant an ear flicking your way to see what they were, they were so familiar - rose back to the forefront as you sighed again, rubbed your cheek against the voluminous pink fluff.

He waited. You pillowed your head heavily, almost irritatingly so, while also hugging his tail. And then there was another little sigh.

He leaned an elbow on his knee, twisting his ear back to hear you over the whispering water. "What's gotten into you?" he asked, bright, a shiver going up his back as a splash caught up higher up on his calf, almost wetting his rolled-up trousers.

He could feel you pouting, turning your face the other way, strands of fur moving with you and tangling with your hair.

It made him snicker even before you said. "Sometimes I wish I had a tail too."

You eased your grip when he jerked it a bit towards his body, making enough give so it didn't tug so oddly when you laid on it again. "And why's that?"

"I mean, if I was foxian I'd at least have the ears," you conceded considering tailless foxians like Feixiao who never seemed to suffer more than ridicule for the lack. "But you use it for so many things." There was so much body language associated with Foxian tails. "Sometimes, I know immediately if you're uncomfortable, and you twitch it just a little when you're happy," you voice was so mushily fond, it made Jiaoqiu practically wince with embarrassment right there. He could feel his ear flicking with it. Especially when you mentioned that he wagged his tail.

"Obviously it's nice to hold, so soft. Oh, I can even tell when you want something, especially food." You chuckled, only to trail off and sigh again. "I wish it was that easy for you to tell when I'm happy, or when I think you're so cute I could just eat you up."

He can feel you stiffen slightly when you realized your choice of words, which was a bit funny, but he doesn't mention it. It doesn't frighten him, and there were more important things to say.

"I already know when you're happy, or when you're sad," Jiaoqiu reached back, slower than before so as not to appear too clumsy as he groped for your hands. Everything of him was suddenly softer, his smile a little shy and reminding you of the kinds of flowers that grew in the cliff cracks of Meilin Peaks. "When you're impatient you lean on your heels, and when you're excited you balance on your toes." That was easy to notice, especially when you stood next to him. "I have plenty of ways to tell when your appetites are more like a tiger's than a human's, and you're just fine to cuddle," he recovered, rounding back with a more typical tease even as his cheeks heated.

But as he'd known, you perked up, likely also warmed by his gentle mocking, although he hoped you could tell he didn't hate it when you behaved a little more wildly with him.

You coughed, throat suddenly dry, and Jiaoqiu was handing you a thermos, not smirking, but you could feel the self-satisfied lift at the tip of his tail. Menace, you smiled as cold water soothed the cough.

"I suppose all couples have things they just know, and things that still need to be said," you admitted quietly, handing Jiaoqiu back the thermos, pressing it into his palm and watching carefully before letting it go.

"Luck you, I've got plenty to say."

This time, it was you reaching over to press one of his hands. Yeah, you were pretty lucky he'd somehow stuck around.

"If you really mind, we could always try getting you a tail for your Immersia persona."

You groaned. "No. I hate it. It's a total waste of time."

"Moze's beating your high score in the new fishing minigame.

Your eye twitched, and Jiaoqiu's prim posture told you he knew exactly what he was doing. "I'm going to get fired if I try catching up to him."

"Oh please, they never fire diviners. He's got an oarfish the night we left." He was grinning now, the tip of one fang showing and his ears set back playfully.

"I changed my mind. I'm not going back there."

"Even for me?" he fluttered his eyelashes, the barest hint of dull gold gleaming from underneath.

You grumbled and growled and combed back the strands of his tail you'd ruffled out of place. "Only for you."

But you were smiling as he wagged his tail, just a tiny bit.

[thisismeracing]

Heartdresser | LH44

― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x braider!reader ― Warning: mentions of a brother, social media au mixed with regular writing, tooth-rotting fluff, fem!reader (she/her); - 2.8k words + social media setting. ― Summary: When Lewis finds himself just a couple days away from a racing weekend and without his usual braids he desperately searches for suggestions of available hairdressers in the area. As the saying goes, love can come from the most unexpected places, and Lewis is about to discover that this is, in fact, true. (based on this request)

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

Being a Formula One Driver had its perks, from obvious and big things such as traveling everywhere to not-so-obvious and small things like having your hair stylist travel to you when you needed them. After becoming an adult and famous, it took Lewis a couple of years to come to terms with his hair, how to style it, how to take care of it, and how to embrace the texture and volume. He felt finally whole when he reached that point, one where meaningless comments on the internet wouldn’t make him rethink his path, goals, and achievements. Of course, comments hurt, but being comfortable with yourself helped, and that was something Lewis learned. 

Now, his braids were part of him. The hairstyle being associated with his image in the blink of an eye. Something that made him feel handsome, and connected with his roots. Something that seemed to help other young black boys around, who started to see themselves as stylish and handsome too.

That’s the main reason why he was so frustrated when his braider called him to tell them they couldn’t make it to Las Vegas. And the thing with braids is that it's not only a style that connects you to your roots, and makes you feel comfortable, it is also a hair protection style. Though Lewis doesn’t tell people he has superstitions and somehow it is true, part of him feels like he races better when he’s feeling himself in all senses of the word. This means having his hair in the braids he’s been looking forward to for over two weeks is something important to him.

So in the heat of the moment, he decides to look for help on Twitter.

“Hi, you must be Lewis,” you smile, extending your hands, and the man in front of you takes it in with a grin. 

“Hey, good afternoon,” his grip is still thigh yet soft on your hand. “Yeah, it’s me. Thank you for having me on such short notice.” He’s handsome and polite in all the ways one should be to be considered perfect, and you start to understand why your baby brother was drawn to admire his persona outside the tracks. 

You shake your head with a chuckle, “It was actually my day off, but I had no problem fitting you in since it meant Dee would get to meet you.”

“Oh- honesty is something I find hot,” he chuckles and adds a grin for good measure, all while looking straight into your eyes and you can’t help but laugh.

Add funny to the list of things Lewis Hamilton seems to be. 

“Who’s Dee, by the way?” 

“It’s Aiyden, my little brother. I call him Dee,” you explain before adding, “He’s finishing a Chemistry project with a few friends at school. He was tempted to skip but gave up after a pep talk on how school is important, and I would take forever doing your hair just so he could see you.” 

Lewis nods while you explain, and then he’s chuckling just like minutes ago. 

“I don’t mind waiting for him with you,” he winks.

You’re not sure if he’s being friendly, funny, or flirty, but any of these F words coming from the black guy in front of you are surely making your heart skip a beat. 

“You can sit here while I grab everything,” you point to a chair in front of a big mirror and Lewis does as said. 

“Your hair looks fire,” he comments, watching from the mirror while you go through the small saloon gathering the packs of hair and combs you would need. “Did you do it yourself?” 

“Thanks,” you stop just for a second, smiling when your eyes meet. “And yeah, I did it just last weekend.”

“You look even more stunning with this style,” and just like that he has you giggling again. “I mean it. I saw your profile picture and I was convinced you couldn’t get more beautiful, and then you opened that door with a smile and these amazing braids and I was like wow.” “You’re a funny one.”

“I’ve heard some women like their man funny, is that your case? If so, I’m ready to get into stand-up comedy.” 

You double with laughter, shaking your head and biting your lips to keep the funny noises inside.

“Same style you’ve sent me the picture?” Lewis nods. “Any addition or preference?” you ask, starting to section his hair, and he answers no while making himself comfortable on the chair.

And even though you joked about taking forever just so your brother would catch Lewis, you ended up really taking forever because the driver in front of you would joke around and give you flirty comments and you couldn’t help but stop to laugh. The style he wanted was fairly fast, and his curls weren’t that thick, but still, you two did a small snack break when he ordered from a vegan bakery downtown. He was a fun guy to talk to, you came to learn that pretty quickly, which only added to his face card, which certainly was never denied. 

It was one of the best sessions you’ve had in a long time.

You were just finishing the final touches, adding water to boil, and cutting the small strands coming off the braids, when the bell over the door rang, announcing your little brother’s arrival. He has an incredulous expression on his face watching his idol sitting on the chair of his sister’s salon. 

“Hey man, how was the chem’s project?” Lewis asks and Aiyden turns around to the door, doing a small victory dance and, probably, the most hideous expressions to conceal his eagerness and happiness. 

You and Lewis laugh.

“Omg, hi, Lewis!” He finally walks to you, shaking hands with Lewis. His eyes – big orbs gleaming with excitement. 

“Aren’t you gonna say hi to your sister, young man?” with your hands on your waist you furrow your brows in the direction of the curly-haired boy who smiles, engulfing your body in a big hug. You hug him back before tapping his back and fake complaining about how he was crushing you. 

Aiyden had just turned fifteen, but his love for sports seemed to help him defy your DNA and grow more than your family’s average size. He was almost reaching your height, and he sure was stronger than you, but he was still just your baby boy. 

“These new braids are lit, man! Told ya my sister would make it happen,” Ayiden, who still has one of his arms around your shoulders, tells Lewis with a proud smile.

The driver moves his head confidently checking his hair in the mirror, “She was a great braider, and even better company, to be honest.” 

Yn rolls her eyes playfully before going back to the water and mentioning for Ayiden to take a step back. She dips the ends of the braids into the water, waiting for a bit before taking them off and draping a towel around Lewis’ broad shoulders. 

“So, your sister mentioned a chem school project. How was it?” 

And just like that Ayiden and Lewis are talking non-stop while you tidy the salon, watching their interaction with a fond smile. The Brit was attentive to your brother, always ready to listen rather than speak, always engaging, and making Ayiden feel comfortable to share whatever he wanted to. 

He probably had no idea, but that was an easy way to get to your heart. Ayiden was your treasure, and the fact that Lewis was treating the boy as if he was his little treasure too only added to the list of things you found amazing about him.

“...right, Yn?” Dee asked and you snapped out of your daydream.

“What?”

“Lewis just invited us to the Vegas GP, I said we were going, right? Please, please, please,” he pleaded in front of you with his two hands together as if in prayer, and you bit the inside of your mouth.

“Sunday?” 

“No, the whole package, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” he explained excitedly.

“It will be fun, c’mon,” Lewis tried.

“You have school on Friday.” You reasoned, but Ayiden was quick to explain that Friday wouldn’t be until 6 pm. “You’re the one asking Kali to get my appointments from Saturday,” pointing a finger to your brother you accepted, knowing that your friend and coworker, had a space on Saturday for a hair or two and wouldn’t mind covering so your clients wouldn’t be hanging out to dry. Still, she would probably huff and yapp before accepting. That was something that Ayiden would now deal with though, so you were all good. 

Ayiden jumped up and down the same way he did when he was ten years old asking you to get him a new pair of soccer jerseys, and you accepted. It was endearing.

You talked for a few more minutes, Ayiden got his picture, and just like that Lewis was saying his farewells. This time he didn’t shake your hands, rather hugged you and you couldn’t help but breathe in his scent and relish his warmth.

“See you on Friday, guys,” he waved, showing off his perfect set of teeth. 

“See you, man!” 

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yourinstagram had to drive the kiddo to school today or else he would stay home choosing his weekend outfits lol (traffic is a bitch btw, so if you can avoid downtown, pls do!)

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youngdee why would you expose me like that

⤷ yourinstagram I'm your older sister, ofc I'm gonna act like a mom ❤️😘

lewishamilton nice fit, ayideen!

⤷ youngdee thank you, man! 😎

⤷ fan4490 OMG KJSDKGJSKG

charleslechair she looks so cute

⤷ charleslechair scratch that I just went through her pics

⤷ charleslechair she's hot

⤷ charleslechair and super talented

wolffmickey so its confirmed, she's the braider?

schumachinho *on my knees begging* pls, do my hair too, yn, pls pls 🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️

yourfriend I spent an hour on traffic today in a road that usually takes me about ten minutes 🫠

yourfriend2 bruh, ayideen is getting bigger and bigger, I feel OLD 😭

Friday rolled around quickly and you got to watch the total amount of fifteen minutes of practice 1 before all hell broke. Ayiden explained everything to you along with the whole controversy going on with the LA Gran Prix, which you were just a tad aware of. Lewis wasn’t able to spend much time with you guys that much was expected, but whenever he found a few seconds he would pass by, ask if you guys were ok, if Dee was having fun if there was something he could do, and just overall being the goofy Lewis he was during the appointment. Ayiden seemed to find the flirtatious glances and lines funny, and so did you, except this time it felt a little more real because you were sure a few people around overheard some. 

It was an amazing night, you made friends with a couple of people from the crew, and Ayiden had the time of his life meeting a few other idols, and almost started hyperventilating when Hamilton told him he would take him to meet Charles Leclerc on Sunday. 

Saturday was even more of a rush, you almost didn’t see Lewis, but he texted before and after quali. So when Sunday came you were still trying to navigate the whole paddock thing, but a bit more comfortable about it. Aiyden was still acting as if it was his own version of Disney land and it was his first day discovering the adventure world. You were loving it for him, of course. 

“Nice outfit,” Lewis whispers right beside you, catching you off guard and making you jump in surprise. You were in a corner, just texting a friend, and checking your next few appointments while Ayiden went to meet Charles and you thought Lewis would be there until he came back, but it wasn’t the case.

“You’re sneaky,” you chuckled, straightening your instance and looking into his face only to notice he was already staring at you. 

“You look cute when you’re focused,” he winks, before adding, “and when you’re scared too.” 

“You look cute when you joke like this,” throwing back at him you didn’t expect for his brows to furrow in confusion. 

“You think I’m joking?” 

“Aren’t you?” 

Lewis giggles. He giggles and you can’t help but smile with the sound and the way his lips part while his eyes squint. “I’m not.”

“You’re not?!” 

“I think you’re pretty and smart, and talented. I was genuinely flirting with you,” his explanation makes your insides turn in giddiness, and as if it wasn’t enough Lewis smiles, eyes glued on yours before he asks: “Wanna go on a date with me?” 

“A date?” You repeat trying to let the idea sink. 

“A date?” This time it’s Ayiden’s voice and you turn alarmed, expecting to see a confused and jealous brother, only to find him with the biggest grin ever.

“Yeah, a date,” Lewis smiles briefly to Ayiden, before staring back at you, waiting for your answer.

You blink still unsure. Fair enough, he was hot, educated, smart, and he checked all the boxes, but that wasn’t any guarantee of a successful relationship, or fling, or whatever he had in mind. And also, his lifestyle wasn’t something you were used to. How would dating him work when he’s often traveling around to drive?

“C’mon, don’t overthink it, Yn.” Ayiden comes to help, standing beside Lewis and the Brit chuckles. “It’s THE SIR Lewis Hamilton,” he points, and this time Lewis laughs. 

You bit your lips, not helping but letting a smile escape. 

Lewis is in front of you, hands in his pockets, big brown eyes watching you, and the smallest smile gracing the corner of his plump lips. He looked great. And as much as you wanted to deny, there was a vibe going on. 

You take a deep breath, smirking at him, “Get yourself a podium and we’ll talk about a date later.”  

Ayiden’s eyes widened. 

“Did you forget how quali went?! It’s gonna be hell to get a podium, almost impossible,” your brother tries to reason, but Lewis shakes his head, extending his hand to which you clasp in yours.

“Deal,” the driver smiles. “I’ll get you a podium.”

Lewis squeezes Ayiden’s shoulder and winks at you before disappearing into the garage to get ready for the race.

“One more reason why he’s the goat, see? If I were you I would go on a date with him even if he didn’t get a podium.” 

You laugh, “For the few things I saw, he likes the challenge. Let me indulge him.” 

“You’re crazy.”

“And he’ll get a podium.” 

“It’s very unlikely, but I won’t deny the possibility. It’s Lewis after all.” Your brother leans on the wall beside you. “And it looks like he wants this date bad.” 

“What makes you think this?” 

“C’mon, he’s been flirting with you nonstop since the hair appointment.” 

“I genuinely thought he was joking.” 

“You can be so clueless sometimes,” your brother rolls his eyes playfully and you slap the back of his head. 

“Watch it, young man, I’m still the oldest.” 

And you were still right too, because hours later Lewis impressed everyone by getting third place. He kept everyone on the edge of their seats along with Charles who did a brilliant race, and just like that your brother was grinning devilishly your way because now you had a date with no one other than Lewis Hamilton who happened to walk into the garage just as you were handling a water bottle to Dee after he ran to watch the ceremony as if his life depended on it.

Lewis was smiling brightly at you, sweat mixed with champagne, but you couldn’t help but grin right back and lace your arms around him, taking him by surprise. 

“I’m all sweaty, sorry,” he whispers, his tattooed hand flatting on your bag and bringing your body closer. 

“It’s fine. Congrats on the race.” 

“Congrats on the race, man!” Ayiden hugs him too and Lewis smiles, eyes still trapped on you. When your brother lets him go and stays rooted in place looking from you to Lewis you trap the laugh inside, and roll your eyes fakely, pointing for the young boy to give you both some privacy.

“So, looks like I scored myself a date, huh?” 

You nod, taking a small step in his direction and trying to keep your hands from tracing all the small details on his face from this up close, “You sure did.” Your eyes were now on his lips, and Lewis grinned. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“You already have a date, what else do you wanna ask me?” You’re teasing and he knows it because this time he’s the one to take a step in your direction. The tips of your shoes are touching, and you can hear the rustling outside, but it’s just you two in the corridor, and you hope it stays like this for just a little longer even though you knew he had an interview in a few minutes. His company and attention are something you enjoyed having.

“With how many dates do you find it ok to kiss someone?” His playful tone is there, but his expression makes your knees almost buck. “Can we count practice, quali, and the race as dates?” 

And just like that he has you laughing and grabbing his neck to close the distance and smash your lips in a very much-awaited kiss. 

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yoursername best date night ever 🤍

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[youvebeenlivingfictional]

More Than Enough

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Rating: T

Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever. Technically part of my Men I Always Meant to Write For non-series series.

Length: 9.9K

Warnings: Angst. Angst angst angst angst, mentions of reader having anxiety, friends to enemies to lovers, has a happy ending

Summary: Mr. Ross (Mike, he’d insisted, but you knew that you had to keep the formalities up for your own sakes) introduced Beth first, giving you a chance to just—look. You’d never bothered to catch up with Harvey once he’d gotten a job in New York. You knew that he was there, of course. The few friends that you had kept in touch with from Harvard had told you. You’d heard his name every couple of months regarding some case that he had tried, some deal that he’d closed. But you couldn’t imagine what you’d say to him if you turned up, and you weren’t sure that you wanted to know what he’d say to you—if he’d have anything to say to you.

There were a lot of things that you remembered about Harvey. You remembered his dimples, and the freckles peppering his shoulders; you remembered the way his eyes lit up when he hit on something good; you remembered the casual, almost bored way that he answered questions in class. Most of all, you remembered how he looked at you.

Harvey used to look at you with warmth, and teasing. He used to watch you hunker over your books and notes, stare you down when he was determined to come out on top in an argument. He used to peer up at you as he tried not to fall asleep on your shoulder, sharing the train ride back to spend the odd weekend in New York.

You remembered the way his gaze used to send nervous butterflies swirling through you. The way his smile made your face go hot, and your heart pound in your chest.

You remembered so many things about how Harvey made you feel, things that you held on to for such a long time—and they were in direct conflict with the way Harvey looked at you when you walked into the conference room that morning.

Something funny had happened in your gut when you’d heard his voice, the way he was warning his associate that he would, “Handle this one, and we’ll be outta here in five minutes.”

As you rounded into the room, you could see that his associate wasn’t convinced; you couldn’t blame him. You’d put up a hell of an argument with Mr. Ross a couple of days before, which had no doubt prompted him to return with backup. Now, you felt the first stirrings of panic, faced with a past you'd tried to forget, but you were too close to the conference room to turn tail, and with Beth already two steps deeper inside, it was too late to bail out. You’d promised her that you’d stick to her side through this ordeal. She couldn’t afford a real lawyer, and the few that you’d spoken to about pro bono work just didn’t have the bandwidth to help her case. The rest of your coworkers had been overwhelmingly supportive, your boss included—you couldn’t think of any other employer that would let a lawyer come and speak with Beth at her workplace without raising a stink about it.

Mr. Ross (Mike, he’d insisted, but you knew that you had to keep the formalities up for your own sakes) introduced Beth first, giving you a chance to just—look. You’d never bothered to catch up with Harvey once he’d gotten a job in New York. You knew that he was there, of course. The few friends that you had kept in touch with from Harvard had told you. You’d heard his name every couple of months regarding some case that he had tried, some deal that he’d closed. But you couldn’t imagine what you’d say to him if you turned up, and you weren’t sure that you wanted to know what he’d say to you—if he’d have anything to say to you.

Harvey looked good. Self-assured, confident, wearing a bright, charming smile as he shook Beth’s hand. You could hear Mike introducing you, and had just a moment to brace as recognition his recognition swelled.

It took over his expression entirely as he met your eye.

Harvey’s gaze flickered, brow furrowing a touch. The dimples disappeared as his lips dropped from a smile to a stunned purse. You shook his hand where it had frozen, a quick, firm pump before you let go.

“Please,” You gestured to the small conference table before you set your things down. The space wasn’t at all grand, it was…Homey. Surely not the sort of spaces these two were used to, if the suits were anything to go by.

“I appreciate your persistence, Mr. Ross,” Beth started, tucking a stand of greying hair behind her ear as she tried to steady her nerves, “But my position hasn’t changed since the last time we spoke.”

You glanced from your elderly coworker toward Mr. Ross. Just out of the corner of your eye, you could see Harvey watching you closely. The feeling was at once familiar and foreign; it made your stomach turn.

“Ms. Owens, I recognize that our client has put you in a difficult position—” Mr. Ross started. You had to clench your jaw to keep from rolling your eyes as he went on, “But the valuation that we’ve offered for you to change the name of your LLC and sell the site is incredibly generous.”

You did smile, then. Hell, you couldn’t help it.

“You disagree?”

Your stomach lurched at Harvey’s question, and you looked toward him. Oh—you knew that expression. His eyes were narrowed; his lips were curled into a smirk that dared you to argue with him.

“Isn’t that obvious? If we didn’t disagree, none of us would be in this room right now,” You pointed out.

“We’ve spoken to our client,” Mike cut in, drawing your attention again, “And he’s authorized us to bump the offer up to $100,000.”

You let that hang in the air for a few moments, brows raising when Mike gave a small, encouraging nod.

“That’s it?” You retorted dryly. “You expect me to believe that a pharmaceutical company with a market value of over three hundred billion dollars is willing to drop a whole 100K? How overwhelmingly generous.”

“Do I need to point out that your cash-grab is standing in the way of medical progress?” Harvey argued.

“Oh, please,” You scoffed. “It's a dick pill, Harvey.” You tried to ignore the stunned, slap-shocked look when you used his name, pushing on—“And if you’d read the comparative studies that the company did, you’d know that it works with roughly a third of the effectiveness of the market leaders. This isn’t exactly going to blow the toupee off of Viagra, no matter what your client says.”

“We could bury you under fees and paperwork.”

“Whoa, Harvey,” Mike muttered beside him, casting him a wary look. You could feel Beth shifting nervously beside you as well. You forced yourself to be calm, and to smile a little, even as your stomach flipped. You’ve done your homework; you’ve prepped. You can do this.

“Yes,” You nodded, “You could. But you’d be doing so at the expense of a woman who has owned and operated a company out of her studio apartment under this name since 1995. What Beth has here isn’t just a little stumbling block for your client—it’s an institution, with hundreds of annual customers and testimonials speaking to the way her products have improved their lives. This may be a blip for your client, but it’s a significant part of Beth’s life. And considering the recent, sharp drop in the company’s stock price and the uptick in legal suits, I wouldn’t be surprised if you all need a win right now. If you railroad us, we will go public with your client’s intimidation tactics.”

“Intimidation—?” Harvey snapped.

“Oh, have they not mentioned the non-stop late-night phone calls, the people following Beth to and from home? The private investigators? The threatening letters?”

You watch Harvey’s expression mar with surprise. You can’t help but chuckle then.

“C’mon. You should know better.” You look down at the folder in front of you. “The fact of the matter is, my client has had to endure a mountain of shit for what is only a marginally effective aid for erectile dysfunction—one that’s projected to make your client nearly $18 million in its first quarter on the market. If you need to close anyone, it’s on your side, not ours. You either bump the offer up a mill, or we go to the press with what we have.” You drew two copies of an article out of your folder, sliding it across the table to them. “Just a little taste.”

“Excuse me?” You heard. The four of you turned your attention to the office secretary, who was lingering in the doorway. Right on time, just as you asked. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you have a call. I can have them hold—“

“No, that’s alright,” You shook your head before turning back to the men on the other side of the table, subtly waving for Beth to stand. “We’re done here. Thank you for your time, Mr. Ross. Harvey, always a pleasure.”

You led the way out, holding the door open for Beth. Vindication shot through you as you just caught Mr. Ross asking, “What the hell was that?”

--  

She was all over the page. Harvey had given the article a couple of passes while he was in the car on the way back to the office, but reading it through again, he felt that even if she hadn’t handed it to him herself, he somehow would’ve known that it was hers. 

The argument that Mike was having with Craig Philbrook seemed almost muted to him as he read it for a third time. It was a concise presentation of the facts, but it hit the exact emotional points that it needed to. It was beautifully balanced. Harvey could almost imagine her curled over her laptop, drawing up a draft, editing it with expert precision. He’d seen her work like that before. Sure, it had been a long time ago, but the sight of her hunkered down in Langdell Hall had never really left him—not even when he’d done his best to push it away. 

“Harvey!” 

He glanced up, brows raising. Craig’s face was the shade of a cherry tomato, and seemed just about ready to pop. His chest was heaving from what must’ve been a spirited bout of argument with Mike. Glancing at his associate, Harvey found Mike wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, at an equal fever pitch. He considered for a moment more before he tossed the article onto the table. 

“We don’t have any choices here, Craig,” He admitted. 

“A million dollars? That’s insane!” 

“Actually, considering what the company expects to pull in almost a eighty mill in the first year, one million is pretty reasonable.” 

“Whose side are you on?” 

“I’m on yours, Craig. Look, if you wanna action your plan, we’ll sic the dogs on ‘em. But the press is never gonna side with a company that’s putting a little old lady through her extreme financial and emotional distress just for a landing page. If we settle outside of court, slap an NDA on top, none of this ever comes out. Keep it clean.” Harvey pushes himself out of his seat, standing and buttoning his suit jacket before taking the article up again. “Talk to who you need to talk to, but do it fast. Every incident that they noted is another ticking time bomb that we may have to worry about diffusing.” He rounded his seat, heading for the door before he paused and turned back. “Oh, and Craig? Quit having her called and followed. You’re just giving them more rope to hang you with.” 

He turned away, tucking his hands into his pockets as he strode down the hall, Mike in tow. 

“You think he’ll cave?” Mike asked. 

“He will. He has to.” 

“Okay—Question.” 

“Is it related to the case?” 

“Yes. What the hell was that?” 

“That was me doing my job. The job you were supposed to handle, and you're welcome, by the way.” 

“I don’t mean back there, I mean this morning.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Bullshit.” 

Harvey cast an irritated glance back toward Mike as he walked into his office. It was no surprise that Mike followed; once he got something in his head, he couldn’t let it go. Neither of them could. 

“She said seeing you was always a pleasure,” Mike added as Harvey settled behind his desk. 

“Maybe she was just trying to get under my skin.” 

“Seems like it worked, and I’ve never seen anyone but Tanner do that. How do you know one another?” 

Harvey considered. He didn’t know her, not really. Not anymore. 

“We went to Harvard together,” He finally admitted. 

“She’s a lawyer?” 

“No.” Maybe? He wasn’t sure. He hadn’t checked the bar for her name in a long time. 

“So she…Did what with her degree?” 

“As far as I know, she never got it. She dropped out, middle of our second year.” 

“Why?” 

“No idea.” 

“Come on, you can tell me.” 

“Don’t you have a brief to write or a motion to file.” 

Mike was quiet for a moment, gaze sweeping Harvey’s face before his mouth fell open in slight surprise. 

“...Oh, my god, you really have no idea,” He managed.

“Why are you still standing here?” 

“Does Donna know?” 

“Why would she?” 

“Because she knows everything.” 

“Well, I doubt she would know this.” 

“You’re deflecting. She definitely knows.” 

“Go ahead and ask her.” 

Mike’s mouth works wordlessly again before he turns his head just a little. 

“...She doesn’t know.” 

“She does not.” 

“Unless she does, and you’re trying to double psychy-psych me into not getting an answer.” 

“Then go ahead and ask.” 

“...She doesn’t know.” 

“Are you asking?” 

“If she does know—” 

“You could be doing this on the other side of the door.” 

“Okay.” 

Harvey relaxed a bit as Mike leaned back in his seat, then smiled as he heard Mike call out, “Donna?” 

He shook his head, taking up a baseball from behind his desk and turning his chair to gaze out of the window, turning the ball over and over in his hands. Mike wasn’t entirely wrong. If there was anyone in the city who may somehow know what happened, he was almost certain it was Donna. Harvey sure as hell didn’t know what had happened. 

Harvey could still remember the shock of it—turning up to goad her into going to get dinner with him, only to find that her half of the room was completely cleared out. Her roommate had told Harvey that she didn’t know where she’d gone, didn’t have a number to reach her. Harvey had chased answers down within his means. He’d gone after phone numbers that he’d used and found them disconnected; he’d stopped by her apartment building and asked the doorman for information, even tried to bribe him, but the man hadn’t let a single word slip. Harvey had waited outside for hours in the hopes of seeing her, but had come up with nothing.

No call, no note, not a word of warning or explanation. Harvey hadn’t been worth saying goodbye to then, and he apparently hadn’t been worth saying goodbye to today. 

His gaze dropped to the baseball in his hands, his thumb sweeping across the stitching as his chest fluttered with bitterness. Mike hadn’t come back in, so he was almost certain that Donna didn’t have the answers. Harvey eyed the article on his desk, frown deepening. 

Maybe Harvey would have to get the answers for himself. 

-- 

“Um—Did you happen to see Gerald’s email?” 

“Nope,” You hardly looked away from your laptop screen as Beth sidled up to your desk. “What’s up?” 

“He wants another SWOT analysis.” 

You closed your eyes in irritation, drawing in a deep breath. 

“Of course he does. Thanks for flagging.” You opened your email, glancing over when you realized Beth was still standing there. “Everything okay?” 

“...Just, I haven’t heard anything yet, from…” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “I just wonder if we were too aggressive.” 

You nodded a little, offering her a reassuring smile. 

“If anything, they’ll counter, maybe for half a mill.” 

“But…What that other man had said about burying us in fees, and paper—”

You turned your chair, taking Beth’s wizened hands in yours. 

“He’s not going to do that,” You swore. “They’d screw themselves over if they did, and they know it. They’re probably just ironing out paperwork. It’s gonna be okay.” 

Beth’s eyes darted between yours before she finally nodded. You gave her hands a gentle squeeze before you let go, turning back to your laptop as she walked away. You bit your lip, peering at your laptop screen. Your eyes scanned it, but you weren’t really taking anything in. You were just as panicked as Beth was that you hadn’t heard anything from the firm. It either meant something very good, or very bad. But you didn’t dare let Beth know how nervous you were. If it hadn’t gone your way—if the company decided to take Beth down—you would never forgive yourself.

You drew in a deep, shaky breath, curling your fingers into your palms and trying to shake off the oncoming shivers trickling down your spine. You’d always hated this feeling—the fear of loss, the swell of hopelessness. You hadn’t felt either so acutely in a long time. You’d been happy for it; you hadn’t missed them. Arguing with Harvey had brought you back to the contentious moments in law school, the panic of not knowing who the professor would call on next, the fear of tripping over your words in front of a dozen of your peers—

You closed your eyes for a moment, drawing in another deep breath and forcing your mind calm. You weren’t in law school anymore. You were a manager at a marketing firm. You did good work. You liked your job. The life that you led was more than enough. The people that you answered to were satisfied with your results—and whatever happened to Beth could be overcome. You were certain. 

You opened the email from Gerald, reading it through before you CC’d Anne from finance, Jason from legal, and your boss before you typed out your response: 

Hi Gerald, 

Per our contract, we’ve completed the four SWOT analyses that we’ve been contracted for this year. Happy to take this conversation offline to discuss renegotiation.

-- 

“I’m going out.” 

Donna sprang up at the warning, striding to catch up with Harvey. 

“Going out where?” 

“I need some air.” 

“There isn’t enough air in your office?” 

“I like outside air. The exhaust, the cigarette smoke, the waft of salt from the hot dog vendor.” 

Donna arched a brow, folding her arms across her chest as Harvey hit the down button for the elevator. 

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the woman that Mike asked me about last week, would it?” She asked. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh no?” 

“Nope.” 

“Too bad. Her LinkedIn, Instagram, and Bumble profile were very interesting.” 

Harvey arched a brow, glancing toward Donna before he stepped onto the elevator. 

“Since when are you on Bumble?” 

“I have a few profiles for research purposes.” 

Harvey shook his head, smiling and casting his gaze toward the elevator floor as the doors closed. 

--  

When someone came to a stop at your desk, you assume that it’s Beth, or your boss—someone that you worked with. When they didn’t speak, you glanced up, and realized immediately that it was a mistake. Harvey was standing there, his hands in his pockets as he waited to have your attention. You dropped your gaze back to the screen, clearing your throat.

“I’m assuming if you’re here in person again, it’s bad news,” You commented. Harvey’s lips pouted as he seemed to consider. 

“Depends on what you consider bad news.” 

“I consider Beth getting screwed out of her fair share as bad news.” 

“Well, then I have good news and bad news.” 

“Okay.” 

“The good news is, my client is ready to settle out of court for the requested amount, provided an NDA is signed.” 

“I’d need to see that before she signed it.” 

“Of course.” 

Your brow furrowed. 

“Then what’s the bad news?”

“There’s one more contingency to the deal being signed.” 

“And what’s that?” 

“Get a drink with me.” 

Your gaze narrowed, and you couldn’t help but lean back in your seat, arms folding across your chest. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“Not at all.” 

“If I refuse?” 

“Beth will still get her settlement. But,” Harvey tipped his head from side to side, “It’ll probably take way longer.” 

“How much longer?” 

“Pff…Anywhere from a few months to a year. To be perfectly honest, my client doesn’t want to pay out. I mean, he will, because he knows that our advice is the right way to go, but I can gum up the works.” 

You pushed out a stunned scoff. 

“You’d seriously do that for a drink with me?” 

“We each have something the other wants.”

“What the hell could I possibly have that you want?” 

“Answers.” Harvey's critical gaze skimmed your rapidly heating face. “So? Are you busy tonight?” 

-- 

You felt out of place. The bar was nice, and everyone seems dressed for it…Except you. Well, your workplace was fairly casual. It was rare that you met with clients in person. You dressed up in those instances, of course, but your day-to-day work wear is jeans and a nice shirt. You were trying not to shift uncomfortably, or fidget to adjust your cardigan, or the shirt underneath. You glanced up toward the waiter, offering a small smile as he set your drink down. 

You picked up your glass, drawing in a long, slow sip. You’d spent the last five hours distracted at work, torn between trying to figure out what the hell you were going to say to Harvey, what sort of questions he could have. You already knew that this was more likely to be an interrogation than a friendly chat. 

He was drawing it out, too. He was taking a slow sip of his own, watching you like his gaze could drill through your skull. 

Maybe it could. He was certainly trying hard enough. 

“So?” You pressed, unable to help the silence. His lips twitched. Ugh, he’d wanted you to cave first, and you had played right into his hand. Bastard. 

“Did you ever finish your law degree?” He asked. 

Embarrassment prickled your skin. The conversation was going to be a roller coaster if that was where he was starting. 

“No.” 

“Never went back to Harvard?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“I had no reason to.” 

“Not even to visit? Maybe pick up something you forgot?” 

“I didn’t forget anything when I left.” 

“Why did you leave?” 

“Irrelevant.” 

“I find it very relevant.” 

“I disagree.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“Are you?” 

“Not particularly.” 

“Move on.” 

“Speaking of moving on, you seemed to do that very quickly.” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

“You disappeared. No one could get in contact with you.” 

“I didn’t want contact with anyone.” 

“So you just dropped off of the face of the earth, for what? Fun?” 

You shifted in your seat a little, fingers pressing into your palms where they were hidden in your lap. 

“Trust me, nothing that happened to me then was fun.” 

“Why should I trust you?” 

Your stomach lurched; your hands tightened in your lap. 

“Take my word for it, then,” You corrected. 

“Your word isn’t worth anything to me.” 

You averted your gaze, jaw tightening as you leaned back in your seat. Maybe you could just slam the drink back and go. You could hear Harvey leaning forward in his seat. 

“Tell me,” He pressed, “What happened.” 

“Why does it matter to you?” 

“This has been a giant question mark for me for a long time. You know I hate loose ends.” 

You drew in a deep breath, leg beginning to bounce beneath the table as your nervous energy swelled. 

“I couldn’t do it anymore,” You finally admitted. 

“What?” 

“I couldn’t do…Harvard Law. That environment, I couldn’t do it. Look, I loved it at the start, I loved the feeling of getting in, but once I was in, it was too much.” 

You couldn’t meet his eye; his look was as heavy as ever. 

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” He asked after a moment. You scoffed a laugh, raising your brows as you finally brought yourself to look at him.

“Are you serious?…Harvey, you were allergic to feelings.” It was a little vindicating to see Harvey shift in his seat as you went on, “If I’d told you that I was struggling, you would’ve told me to buck up, that it wasn’t that hard, that I just needed to put my head down. You don’t respond weakness, you can’t fucking stand it.”

“You did just need to put your head down.”

Your mouth worked wordlessly for a moment, lips curling into a hysterical smile as you breathed, “Oh, my god—” Because there it was. There was the answer you’d expected years ago.

“You were top ten!” Harvey argued. “You were this close to knocking me off out of the top five.”

“I was losing my shit!” You lowered your voice, leaning in. “I couldn’t sleep. I was having panic attacks every time I left my room. I couldn’t handle it, alright? I’m not like you.”

“No, you’re not. I wouldn’t have given up.”

It was like a slap. You bit the inside of your cheek before you leaned back, nodding. You could feel your throat going thick as your eyes welled with tears.

“Okay,” You reached into your pocket, drawing your wallet out for a twenty as you stood. “Well thank you for this lovely trip down memory lane.”

“Sit down.”

“Fuck you.”   

You didn’t even care that your language drew the attention of the other patrons. You just strode out of there as quickly as you possibly could, hands fumbling for your phone to get a car. Maybe it shouldn’t have been so surprising that you heard his footsteps behind you moments later. It pushed you to walk faster, to keep him from seeing your watering eyes.

“Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that you’re turning tail and running,” He sounds almost bored, “You’re so good at it.” 

“Leave me alone, Harvey.” 

“You know, I had the wildest theories back then. Kidnapped by a foreign government, taken by aliens, activated sleeper agent. It’s a bummer to find out that you were just a coward.” 

“Stop it,” You warned, shoving the door open and striding through it. You heard his palm hitting the wood behind you to keep the door from hitting him in the face, and you were desperate to escape it in the city noise. Harvey pushed on as if you haven’t said a thing:

“I used to think we were one and the same, but I would never have done what you did. I never would’ve just disappeared. Why didn’t you trust me—” His fingers curled around your wrist, tugging you to turn to him. His diatribe seemed to falter as he took in the tears slipping over your heated cheeks. You twisted your wrist out of his grip, tucking your arms around your middle and keeping your gaze anywhere but Harvey. 

“...You could’ve talked to me,” Harvey finally said. 

“You would’ve told me then exactly what you said just now, and that was the last fucking thing I needed back then. Frankly, it’s the last fucking thing I need right now.” 

“Look at me.” 

“No, you—You got your answers, alright? Get Beth her settlement.”

“You want me to get her settlement for you?” 

“I want you to get it for her. Because she deserves it. So, get her the money, the money she’s earned, and just…Just leave me alone.” 

You turned away from him again, getting just a little relief from the fact that you don’t hear him following you. 

You spent the night worrying that your answers won’t be enough, that Harvey would go out of his way to bury Beth in paper, screw her over to the point where you had to go back to knocking on the doors of firms willing to take her case on a pro bono basis. 

But when you turned up to work and Beth practically clobbered you with an excited hug, you knew that he hadn’t gone out of his way to fuck you over. You let out a sigh, patting Beth on the back and letting out a relieved laugh as repeated her thanks. 

--  

“Be nice.” 

That had been your boss’s only warning as you’d headed into a conversation with Gerald. And you had every intention of being nice. But you also wanted to be realistic. You glanced from the finance rep to the landline in the middle of the conference table as Gerald groused, “There's no need to be unreasonable.” 

“I don’t think us upholding our end of the contract is unreasonable," You argued. "We’ve done the SWOT analyses that you asked for in the past, and we’ll be happy to do them again. But we need to adjust the contract.” 

“You can’t just do a one-off and bill me extra?” 

“We could, but if we open that door, you’re just going to keep coming in, Gerald.”

“This is ridiculous,” He snapped. “I can cut this contract.” 

“Yeah, you can,” You nodded. “You are absolutely at liberty to do that.” You heard the sound of a door opening to the conference room, but you felt your focus locked-in to the phone. “But if you cut this contract, that’s going to cost you a lot of time and a lot of money. We have a guaranteed pay clause regardless of termination, so if you cut us loose, you’re still going to have to pay us for the full year. While you’re still shelling out cash to us, you’ll have to pay to bring on another firm. You’d be better off negotiating the additional SWOT analyses instead of paying two firms off at once.” 

You were quiet for a moment, brows raising as you and your associate waited in silence. You closed you eyes, holding your breath. Please, please please—

“How many SWOT analyses would I get with the increased cost?” He finally asked. 

“That’s up for negotiation,” Anne hurried to reply. “As it is, you’re averaging one per month. If we push it to a dozen, we could work with you to discount them at 25%.” 

Another pause. Another moment of you holding your breath, of please, please please please please—

“Send the revised contract.” 

“It’s already in your inbox," You admitted. "Thanks, Gerald.” 

“Yeah.” 

You reached out, stabbing the button to hang the phone up before he could change his mind. You sighed, slowly leaning back in your seat and peering up at the ceiling. Christ, you felt dizzy. 

“You can’t keep bullying our clients,” Anne grumbled.

“Our clients can’t keep bullying us. If we keep going the way we’re going, we’ll be the firm that does triple the work for half the pay. We’re too good for that.”  

“She’s right.” 

His voice made you whirl around in your seat, heart sinking into your stomach. Harvey stood just inside the room, his hands tucked into his pockets. Heat prickled along your neck. How long had he been there? Shit, you’d thought your boss had been the one to come in— 

You glanced toward Anne with a guilty smile. 

“Can we get a minute here?” 

“Sure,” She nodded, pushing herself out of her seat. Harvey grasped the door handle, holding it open and shooting her a wide smile as she walked past. You stood as well, folding your arms across your chest before hurriedly lowering them to tuck into your pockets. You wanted to mirror him, look as nonchalant as he did, not all twisted up and shielded and defensive. Oh, you were cool as a cucumber. Definitely no reason to worry here, no way. 

Harvey closed the door, stepping a little deeper inside. 

“What can I do for you today, Mr. Specter?” 

“Thought I’d come see how Beth’s planning on using her retirement check, how you’re going to use your fee.” 

You frowned. “What fee?” 

“You didn’t charge her a fee? Standard in New York is 40%.” 

“I wouldn't take Beth’s hard-earned money.” 

“You earned it, too, considering how hard you defended your client.” 

“Beth was not a client. This was a favor for a friend.” 

“That’s funny, because you called her that during our conversation.” 

“No, I didn’t.”  

“Yes, you did. You said that your client had had to endure a, what was it…‘Mountain of shit’?” 

“Well, that is true,” You muttered. “It was a mountain of shit.”

“Could’ve been two mountains of shit.” 

“But it wasn’t, so. I thank you for that.” 

“It’s only fair. You did what I asked, you answered most of my questions.” 

“Most?” You scoffed, folding your arms over your chest. “What the hell else could you want to know?” 

“You wanna do this here?” 

“I don’t wanna do this at all.” 

“Why didn’t you come to me?” 

“Harvey.” 

“I didn’t have a clue—” 

“I am not doing this here.” You spoke more firmly than you felt. “This is my place of work.” 

“Well when I tried to do this elsewhere, you walked out on me.” 

“And yet you followed.” 

“Because I had a chance to this time. I didn’t get the chance back then."

You shook your head, averting your gaze. 

“Look,” Harvey stepped closer. “I’m just asking for a chance.” 

“Last night wasn’t enough for you?” 

“No, it wasn’t.” 

“Well, it was for me. Hell of a flashback, just like old times. Same old Harvey, not knowing when to back off. Strong, direct, painful line of questioning—all gas, no breaks.” 

Harvey was quiet for a moment, eyes skating over your face. 

“It won’t be an interrogation again.” 

“How can I know that?” 

“I was angry last night.” 

“And you’re not now?” 

“...Not in the same way.” 

“Oh, well. That’s a relief.” 

“I just want to understand. Help me understand.” 

“Understand what?” 

“How one of the smartest people I’ve ever known changed her mind all that time ago, and then flexed the hell out of her legal muscles to get me to close in ten goddamn minutes.” 

“People change, Harvey.” 

“You haven’t.” 

The two of you watched one another for a long, contentious, quiet moment before he said, “You need to come to my office.” 

“What for?” 

“To read over the NDA before Beth signs it.” 

Fuck, the NDA. You’d forgotten about that. 

“Fine," You nodded. "When.” 

“How’s tomorrow work for you?” 

“Tomorrow's a Saturday. You’re gonna do this on a weekend?” 

“Gives us time to turn around any edits you need before you give it to Beth on Monday.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek. Goddamnit. 

“Fine,” You agreed. “How’s seven?” 

“Sure. We can grab dinner—” 

“In the morning.” 

Harvey’s brow jumped, his chin tipping down a touch.

“Are you serious?” He asked. 

“Completely. You wanna get this NDA into your associate’s hands as quickly as possibly, right?” 

“You expect me to be in my office at seven in the morning so you can read something.” 

“You could’ve saved us both a trip and just brought it with you.” 

“It’s still being worked on.”

“Well, you can have someone messenger it over tonight and I’ll drop it off tomorrow morning. Or is it long enough that you’re going to, um…Gosh, what was that neat little threat, again? Bury me in paper?” 

You saw something flash across Harvey’s face. You didn’t know if it was remorse, or what—but it’s gone as soon as it appears. 

“Fine,” He bit out. “Seven. In the morning.” 

“Sounds good.” 

“Don’t be late.” 

“Oh, I won’t. I’m very punctual.” 

“I remember.” 

Your stomach flipped. Of course he did. He turned away, opening the door…And holding it open. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, raising your brows. 

“Are you coming?” 

“Are we camping out outside of your office overnight? You strike me as a glamping guy.” 

“I thought you were leaving the room.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Your meeting is over.” 

“I have a quiet room and a SWOT analysis to work on.” 

“You’re telling me you haven’t done it already?” 

Your face went hot at the accusation, lips pressing to hold in your irritation at the way Harvey smiled. You were relieved when he finally turned away. It gave you a chance to sink down in your chair and parse through what the hell just happened. 

--  

“Oh, wow. You’re early.” 

You raised your brows at the tone of surprise, eyeing the entrance to the building, and then turning your attention back to the young man that had just sprung up in your way. 

“Yes, I am. Good morning, Mr. Ross.” 

“Please, call me Mike. Not on the other side of the table anymore.” 

“Well, until that NDA gets signed, yes, you are, so. Excuse me.” 

You made to step around him, but he stepped into your way again. 

“I just wanted to say,” He added, “That I really admire how hard you worked for Beth, and I completely agreed with your assessment of the company’s value.” 

“...Thank you, I appreciate that. Now, if you could just—” 

You side-stepped him again—and again, Mike got in your way, pressing: 

“I honestly didn’t think they’d cave for a million, but you really showed them—” 

“Mike?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Did Harvey ask you to make me late?” 

Mike’s mouth worked wordlessly for a moment, panic marring his features. You smiled sweetly. 

“You know, I’m not sure what Harvey has told you about our past, but he probably didn’t mention that we were in an intramural dodgeball league. I can throw some mean elbows when I’m trying to get what I want, and you look like you bruise easily. So if you’d like to keep your ability to bend comfortably, please step aside and let me in.” 

Mike pursed his lips before he nodded once, stepping aside. 

“Thank you,” You cooed, sliding past him. 

“I really do admire what you did for Beth!” He called out after you. You snorted, shaking your head as you headed to the lobby to get a visitor’s pass. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t more than a little antsy, glancing at your phone as you waited for the elevator, then waited in the elevator. When you stepped off, you found a stunning red-head standing there. Her eyes brightened at the sight of you, and she took a step back as you stepped off of the elevator. 

“Mr. Specter’s office is this way,” She waved for you to follow. You raised your brows, falling into step. 

“Was that a lucky guess, or did you know who to look for?” You asked.

“I knew. I don’t operate on luck.” 

“Right. Did Harvey or Mike show you a picture of me?” 

“Nope. I found pictures myself.” 

“For what purpose?” 

“Curiosity.” 

“Sated?” 

“Very.” 

“Excellent. Do I get to know who you are, or do I have to go sleuthing on the firm’s site after this?” 

“I’m Donna.” 

“And what do you do here?” 

“I just told you,” She stopped, waving you toward an office, “I’m Donna.” 

You raised your brows before you turned, walking into the office. How the hell did he look pristine this early in the morning? Did the bastard sleep in a suit? His brow furrowed at the sight of you, shaking his sleeve back and eyeing his watch. 

“6:59? What the hell did Mike do down there?” 

“He made a valiant attempt, but I got past him.” 

“How?” 

“How did I get past him?” 

“Yes.” 

“Bullshitted him. Told him that we used to play dodgeball together, that I know how to throw a mean elbow. He crumbled like a bran muffin.” 

“Damn.” 

“You really should teach him how to lie. Second I called him on it, he blue-screened.” 

“Trust me, Mike knows how to lie.” 

“Whatever,” You shook your head. “Can I have the NDA so I can go?” 

“Go? Oh, no. This doesn’t leave the office.” 

“...Excuse me?” 

“This document doesn’t leave the building until it’s ready to go to Beth.” 

“You’re kidding.” 

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” 

Your mouth worked wordlessly for a moment before you snapped it shut. 

“....Fine.” 

Harvey took up the document, holding it out. You fought the urge to snatch it from him, instead taking hold of it before you sat down in one of the seats in front of his desk. 

“Need a pen?” He asked. 

“Nope,” You shrugged off your bag, rooting around in it before drawing out a red papermate felt tip pen. 

“You hungry?” 

Yes, you were. You’d been planning on getting breakfast and a massive coffee before going over the damn thing on your own, in your apartment, but no. Harvey had done what Harvey always does: turned the situation in his favor. 

“No,” You answered, uncapping the pen. 

“Let me know if you change your mind.” 

You didn’t answer to that, you just tipped your head into your hand as you settled in:

THE PARTIES: This Non-Disclosure Agreement (referred to herein as the “Agreement”) created on__________, is by and between…

You were quiet for a moment, tipping your head to the side as you skimmed your finger over the pages. 

“Harvey?” 

“Sure, we can do bagels.” 

Damnit, a bagel sounded so good right now.

“Why is this NDA…” You tipped your head to the side, flipping through the file, “Thirty pages?” 

“Because it needs to be.” 

“Ballpark, this should’ve been six, tops.” 

“You’re dealing with a big company. They want to make sure their bases are covered.” 

You shot Harvey a disbelieving look from under your lashes before you looked back down at the file. 

“Besides,” Harvey added, “It’s not the length, it’s—” 

“—It’s the content, yeah yeah,” You muttered. You heard him huff a soft laugh, but you forced the flutter of butterflies in your belly aside in favor of focusing. Hell, you needed to get through this, and fast. If you weren’t careful, your stomach was going to start grumbling. 

--  

“Here we go.” 

You glanced up, doing a double-take at the sight of the coffee tray in Donna’s hand. You looked back down at your work, finishing a note that you’ve been jotting before you turn the page. You went still when Donna held a cup out to you.

“Sugar-free iced dirty chai with a double shot,” She offered. You raised your brows, taking hold of the cup. 

“You’re good,” You nodded.

“I’m Donna.” 

“I remember.” You couldn’t help but smile at her before you took a greedy sip of the iced chai. Oh man, that hit the spot. You’d been there a while, and you were starting to get a headache. You hadn’t tried to parse through legalese like this in a long time, especially not on an empty stomach. 

“So? Are we doing bagels?” Harvey pressed. You glanced at where he was leaning back against an end table lined with basketballs. He arched his brows. “Come on, it’s been an hour and you’re only halfway through. You’re going to run out of steam if you’re not careful.” 

“...You’re paying for them.”

“Of course.” 

“Then yes, please. Bagels.” 

“They’ll be here in five,” Donna warned, striding past you and back to her desk. 

“She’s very good,” You commented, nodding after her as you turned back to your work, making another note. 

“You really are gonna run out of ink.” 

You fought the urge to mimic him, just going on about your business. 

“I’ve got plenty of pens,” Harvey added. 

“Law firm this big, I’d hope you’d have a few pens.” 

“More than a few. Hundreds.” 

“Mm.” 

“Thousands, even.” 

“If you’re not sure if it’s hundreds or thousands, then maybe you should go count them and get back to me.” 

“You just want me out of the room.” 

“I want you to stop watching me.” 

“Why?” 

“It’s creeping me out.” 

“Did it always?”

“Objection: relevance.” 

“If you allow me a little latitude, I can establish relevance.” 

“No thanks.” 

“Why are you going over this thing with such a fine-tooth comb?” 

“I wanna make sure you don’t screw Beth over somewhere.” 

“You don’t trust me?” 

“I don’t trust your client. You work for your client.” 

“I do what’s best for my client.” 

“And I’m doing what’s best for my friend.” 

“Your due-diligence.” 

“I’m just reading, Harvey.” 

“You and I both know it’s more than that.” 

You ignored the comment, turning to the next page of the NDA. 

“Food’s here,” Harvey spoke up after a few minutes of quiet.

“Thanks.” 

You could hear the rustle of bags as Donna unpacked things before leaving again. 

“...You gonna put that down?” Harvey asked. 

“When I’m finished with it, sure.” 

“What about the bagels?” 

“I’ll take it to go when I’m done here.” 

“Come on, I can hear your stomach growling from here.” 

“My stomach isn’t growling.”

“Not at the moment, but it has been.” 

“I’ll live through eleven more pages.” 

“The bagel will get cold.” 

“I’ll heat it back up.” 

“You’re going to reheat a toasted bagel?” 

“Yes, using the same apparatus that toasted it in the first place.” 

“A twice-toasted bagel is gonna be hard as a rock.”

“Oh well.” 

“And if you don’t eat now, I will use all of the scallion cream cheese.” 

“Knock yourself out.”

“I mean all of it. There’s a ton here, and I probably couldn’t fit all of it on a bagel, so I’d have to go in with a spoon. You want me to do that?” 

“Do whatever the hell you want, Harvey. You usually do.” 

Blessedly, that shut him up for a few moments. 

“So did you,” He countered after a moment. You didn't need a law degree to catch that insinuation.

“I didn’t leave Harvard because I wanted to. I left because I had to.” 

“You chose to.” 

“I made a decision that favored my mental and physical health over my career prospects. There's nothing wrong with that.” 

“You ever regret it?” 

You considered for a moment, gaze drifting from the papers. 

“...Sometimes,” You admitted finally, glancing toward Harvey. “When this whole thing with Beth cropped up, yeah. It was a bummer not to have the full force of the degree behind me. But…If I had become a lawyer, I probably wouldn’t have met Beth, or had enough time to help her, so…” You shrugged, looking back down at the NDA. “It’s not as easy as just regretting it or not regretting it.” 

“You regret leaving everyone behind?” 

“...Yeah. I could’ve been better about the way I did it, but at the time, cutting everyone off felt like the right thing to do.” 

“Even me.” 

“Harvey,” You sighed heavily, “I’m not saying that what I did was right for everyone involved. If I had reached out to you, to Scottie, to any of our friends, maybe I would’ve gotten a different answer, but the way that you reacted to me the other day? When you told me that I was a coward?” You lifted your head to meet his eye. “That was exactly what I was expecting. And you know what, it hurt like hell last night, but there is no way I could’ve handled hearing that from you back then.” 

Harvey’s jaw worked for a moment. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” He admitted softly. “I’m sorry.” 

You hesitated before you nodded a little, turning back to the NDA. 

“If it’s what you felt—” 

“It wasn’t,” Harvey shook his head. “I was mad, and I let it get the better of me.”

“And you’re not mad now?” 

“Not at you for that.” 

“But you are mad at me.” 

“For making me get up to be in the office at seven in the morning? Yeah, I’m outraged.”

You fought back a smile, shrugging.

“Didn’t mean to fuck with your beauty sleep, princess.” 

You turn the page, twiddling the pen between your fingers. 

“You’ll make it up to me.” 

“Will I?” You arched a brow. “How exactly do you think I’m going to do that?” 

“You’ll pay for dinner tonight.” 

“Oh, we’re getting dinner?” 

“I’m fully aware of the vast difference in our salaries, so I’ll pick somewhere with only one Michelin star.” 

“What a generous smug asshole. Time really has changed you.” 

“It hasn’t changed either of us.” 

“I don’t know. I think you’re more of a dick than I remember you being.” 

“I’m blushing.” 

“Sure, Specter.”

“Put the NDA down and have a bagel.” 

“Bossy.” 

“It’s my office, I get to be bossy.” 

“Fine. I’ll take the NDA to a conference room and give us both some space.” 

“Keep your seat, have a bagel, and let me see what you have so far.” 

You didn’t look up until you saw a plate lowered into your field of vision. You arched your brows before you raised the NDA, holding it out to Harvey as you took hold of the plate. You shifted in your seat, sitting up just a bit. Crap, you hadn’t realized how far down you’d slid in your seat over the course of the last hour. You set the bagel aside for a moment, capping your pen and tucking it behind your ear. You twist the top off of the bagel, lapping at the thick layer of cream cheese before taking a bite. You can’t even help the soft, relieved groan that you let out at the taste. 

Damn, you were hungry. 

You glanced across the desk, met by Harvey’s smug smile. 

“Shuddup,” You mumble around the mouthful. 

“Didn’t say anything.” 

“Didn’t have to.” 

You took another bite as Harvey began to flip through the notes that you’d made in the NDA. 

“You’re having fun with this,” He comments. 

“I’m protecting my friend.”

“And you’re having fun doing it.” 

“Sure, Harvey.” 

“You are.” 

“So you’ve upgraded from not analyzing your own feelings to telling everyone else theirs?” 

“Not everyone. Just the people that I know.” 

“Bold claim.” 

“I told you—you haven’t changed. This NDA proves that.” 

“How so?” 

“Because so far, you have marked every single thing that I threw in there to trip you up.” 

You nearly dropped the plate, and the bagel. You completely froze in the middle of your chewing. Harvey’s smug smile widened as he closed the NDA and reached out, taking up another, far thinner file from his desk, holding it out. 

“Here’s the clean one.” 

You reached out, setting the plate down on the desk. You flipped it open, embarrassment beginning to well up as you saw entire passages from the previous NDA—the very ones that you’d spent your time marking—omitted. You nodded for a moment before you muttered, “Okay.” You dropped it into your purse, slung your purse over your shoulder, and stood, taking the remainder of the dirty chai and the bagel with you. 

“Hang on,” Harvey groaned. 

“Nice meeting you, Donna,” You commented, ignoring Harvey as you passed her desk. 

“You too!” She chirped over Harvey’s following, and his call of, “Would you wait a minute!” 

“Why, so you can keep making a fool of me?” You bit out.

“I didn’t do it to make a fool of you, I did it to make a point.” 

“And what point would that be?” 

“That you’re a damn smart person—” 

“I knew that already—” 

“And that you would’ve made an amazing lawyer! You could still make an amazing lawyer!” 

“That doesn’t mean that I want to be one!” You whirled around to face Harvey, face hot and close to his as he comes to a sudden stop to keep from ramming into you. “Just because my goals changed doesn’t make them any less important than yours. I am glad you’re a lawyer. I’m glad you have your corner office, your fancy fucking suits, your title, your position. But I’m glad that I have my life, the way I want it, without all of this. I get that what I did hurt you back then, and I am sorry. But I wasn’t fighting to knock you out of the top five when I was at school. I was fighting for my life. I know that I am smart. I know that I could’ve been an amazing lawyer, but I am happy just being myself as I am, right now. If that’s not enough for you, I don’t give a shit, because it’s my life, not yours.” 

You left Harvey standing alone in the hall, his gobsmacked, stunned expression remaining as you turned away from him and strode to the elevator. He didn’t bother to chase you down this time, which was a relief. You managed to hold it together as the elevator doors slid open, studiously ignoring Mike as he stepped off and greeted you: 

“Hey! Done already?” 

You reached out, jabbing the lobby and door close buttons as quickly as you could. 

--  

Mike’s brow furrowed as she disappeared from sight. He turned away from the elevator, peering around the corner to see who might be nearby. There wasn’t anyone there for a few moments, and then…Harvey, standing there looking stunned and lost. 

“Did she already finish her mark-up?” Mike asked. The question seemed to snap Harvey out of his reverie. He cleared his throat, straightening and turning away. 

“She got halfway. I gave her the clean version.” 

“What? I thought you were only going to give it to her if she caught 95% of the errors."

“She was on track to catch every single one. Spoiling the surprise didn’t seem like such a bad idea.” 

“Is that because this whole endeavor has been a bad idea?” Donna piped up as the two neared her desk.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” Harvey warned as he strode past her. 

“I wanna hear it, but I don’t have time, I have uh,” Mike pointed down the hall, “A 10-Q filing to comb through—” 

“Go,” Harvey nodded him away before he turned, heading back into his office. He reached out, taking up her half-marked NDA. His gaze skated over her notes, and it was as if he was transported back to Langdell, to the notes that she would scrawl in his margins, questioning his citations and methodology. 

“...She’s happy as she is.” 

“Donna."

“She said it herself!” 

“She’s not working at her full potential.” 

“Sounded like she preferred it that way. You’ve seen her at work. Is she bad at her job?”

“No.” 

“Good at it?” 

“What’s your point.” 

“My point is,” Dinna leaned in the door frame, “That success looks different to different people. For you, it apparently looks like rubbing someone's skills in their own face. And I think if you keep harping on what might’ve been, she’ll just resent you for it—and if you lose her again, you’ll resent yourself for that, too.” 

Donna raised her brows pointedly before she pushed off of the door frame. Harvey looked after her for a moment before he lowered himself into his seat, tossing the NDA onto his desk. What to do next? 

Bringing her there hadn’t brought him much luck, but so far, going to her had been far more effective. 

--  

“I’m going to file a restraining order.” 

“May as well do it on a full stomach.” 

“I don’t have the NDA here, I sent it back with my edits.” 

“I know.” 

You glanced between Harvey’s calm expression and the bag of takeout that he was holding up. You sighed heavily. You thought you’d been able to shake Harvey, at least for the day. As soon as you’d gotten home, you’d double-checked the NDA, and hadn’t been able to find a thing wrong with it. You’d sent it back with a messenger, unwilling to step foot in that damn office again that day. You’d been certain that that would be in, but there Harvey is. 

“I promised you dinner,” He adds. 

“I thought you said that I’d be the one paying for it.” 

“I take cash and Venmo.”

“Okay—” You drew your hand back to shut the door, but Harvey pressed his palm against the wood before you could. 

“Wait a second.”

“Harvey, I can’t do handle a repeat of this morning.” 

“I’m not asking you to. This morning, I wanted to understand what happened, I got that.” 

“Then what are you doing here?” 

Harvey seemed to have to brace himself. 

“The woman that I knew at Harvard…The woman that I thought I knew—” 

“Thin ice, Specter.”

“—I had a different perspective of you then. I know we can’t blank slate this, but I’d like to get to know you properly, and I want you to get to know me. As adults. I wanna know what I’ve missed.” 

You considered for a long moment, your gaze dropping to the bag of takeout. Letting him in wasn’t the greatest idea. If it went south again, you couldn’t just storm out—it was your apartment. But there were things about Harvey that you’d missed, too; things that you hadn’t been able to learn about through your mutual friends, and things that you couldn’t just get from googling the guy’s name.  

“What’d you get?” You asked finally.

“Chinese.” 

“Dumplings?” 

“Vegetarian, fried.” 

You sighed, stepping back and nodding over your shoulder with a concession of, “Alright.” 

-- 

There were a lot of things that you had remembered about Harvey. But sitting on the floor of your living room, leaning back against your couch as you ate dinner and drank beer was bringing back so much more. Harvard had held so many bad memories that it had nearly crowded out the good ones, the warm ones. But now, as Harvey busted your balls, teased you, ribbed you as he nudged your knee with his, or your arm with his, or your shoulder with his, was bringing back memories of vicious butterflies. 

Oh, you’d had the worst of crushes on this man. It had only been made worse by late nights spent in his dorm, all-nighters pulled at the library, nights spent dancing with him at parties. You’d been certain that there had never been anything there, and you hadn’t pushed it. Harvey had been your friend, a good friend. But now, with the way Harvey’s smiles softened and his gazes lingered, you found yourself wondering if there had ever been anything more, anything that the both of you had buried. 

“...I was sorry to hear about your brother.” 

Your admission came out of a quiet moment, and it sobered the both of you. Harvey nodded a little, lowering his head and looking at the beer in his hands. 

“I would’ve reached out,” You added, “But I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me at that point.” 

“I didn’t.” 

You nodded at his confirmation, and it was your turn to look at the beer in your hands. 

“You knew more about my life than I thought you would,” Harvey added, leaning back against the couch and shifting to face you a little.

“Well, some of our mutual friends kept me informed on the happenings of the great Harvey Specter.” 

“Why didn’t they tell me about you?” 

“I asked them not to.” 

“Why?”

“Figured you hated me.” 

You bit your lip as Harvey reached out, taking the beer out of your hands and setting it on the coffee table. Your stomach flipped as his hand raised, tucking two fingers beneath your chin to turn your head toward him. You hesitantly met his gaze, stunned by the warmth you found there. 

“I never hated you,” He murmured. “I was upset, sure. I was angry, and confused. But I didn’t hate you.”

“Maybe you should’ve.” 

“Couldn’t if I tried.” 

“Did you try?” 

“Yes.” Hervey’s thumb smoothed along your jaw. “But every time I got angry, I worried, too. I had no idea where you were. I didn’t know if you were alright, if you were at another school or dead in a ditch somewhere.” 

“I’m sorry—” 

“I know,” Harvey nodded, hand smoothing around to your nape. “But I’ve gotta say, if you ever disappear on me like that again—” 

“You’re done?” 

“I’m gonna send a hundred fucking Pinkertons after you.” 

You scoffed a laugh, brows raising.  “That a threat, Mr. Specter?”

“It’s a promise.”He shifted closer. “I’m not losing you again.” 

“You did fine without me.” 

“I would’ve done better with you.” 

“You didn’t need me! You had Scottie, you had Jessica, you have your career and your suits and your—” 

Before you could say another word, Harvey pressed his lips to yours. Your eyes went a touch wide at the sudden unexpected contact. It was a moment before you let yourself lean into him. You raised your hand hesitantly, resting it on his chest as he drew you closer. Your knees knocked against his as you cuddled against him, humming softly as Harvey sucked your lower lip between his. You leaned back a touch, smiling as he rested his forehead against yours. 

“I want you around,” Harvey murmured. “Can’t that be enough?” 

You nodded, sweeping your thumb gently under his collar. 

“It’s enough. More than enough.” 

Taglist: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ;  @paintballkid711 ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight; @recklessworry ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage​​​ ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @nolanell ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa​ ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices​ ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @20th-centu-fairy-girl

[caitlinclarkluver22]

~ Please Please Please ~ P.B a fanfic ( sfw)

inspired by the song by sabrina carpenter

pov: smart!fem! reader x player! paige bueckers

an: so this is my first paige bueckers fanfic, the intros kinda long, but i think it came out pretty good, but there is gonna multiple parts to this, so just let me know if you’d like another one.

remember blue is flashback and purple is lyrics!!

warnings: mention of alcohol, cheating, lying, and mention of sex

“ i know i have good judgment, i know i have good taste. it’s funny and it’s ironic that only i feel that way.”

you’re a senior in college at uconn, your mostly known for being the smartest person in your classes, never failing one grade, getting higher than a 90 at all times, 85 on your bad days.

you were in calculus, to you it was light work. you didn’t really need to study often, having amazing memory and overall good attention span in class.

since you already completed 2 years of college in highschool, having your associates degree, you were already looking forward to getting your bachelor’s degree this year.

————————————————————————

you were collecting your stuff of the desk, putting it in you book bag, ready to go take a break from the series of classes you had just taken.

as you were walking out of the room, you heard someone call your name.

it was your teacher, professor zamora.

“ hey, your the one with all the good test scores right?” , he asked knowing but just wanted to make sure, to ask for a favor.

“ yes…. i am”, you shyly responded, a little nervous at the sudden attention.

“ okay good, so since you have the best grades in the class right now, i was wondering if you were free for another class period.”

free? another class period? what is he trying to imply? i know i might look naive and small, but I’m not stupid to know what men want. i am lesbian after all. although i had my suspicions, i trusted my professor.

“ yes i actually am. why professor?”

“ great! i was just wondering because my next class period is algebra, and….lets just say ive had them for a few years now…anyways, they need help. just pick the one you want and you can tutor them.” , he said praying that she would agree.

although she did have a break for the next two hours, she could spend one of them helping someone, it’s the right thing to do.

“ yes of course! i’m willing to tutor anyone that needs my help.”, you say enthusiastically, ready to help people be the best they could be.

“ great! just come back in around 30 minutes, and by then they should be here.”, your professor said, thankful for your help.

“ okay i got you.” , you said walking out of class, going to grab a bite to eat.

————————————————————————

after the short thirty minutes pass by, you start walking back to the class, praying that this goes well.

as you make your entrance through the door, you see a familiar face.

shes a blonde, tall, blue eyed girl walking to her desk, a purple nike elite backpack on her back (that looks fairly empty ), and a slow sluggish walk .

you could tell who it was from a mile away, it was paige bueckers.

THE paige bueckers.

you noticed her since in your free time u went to go watch the basketball games, cheering for your favorite player on the team, paige obviously. although you went to almost every game, you went unnoticed by her, standing in the back of the crowd just admiring how she played.

you weren’t a mega fan.

you totally didn’t scroll on tiktok, looking and saving the edits you’d find. damn she’s so attractive…

‘ah ah ah, no liking her. she’s in algebra. she’s obviously not smart, not to be mean of course. just observing.’ , you think to yourself as you look around the room, waiting for everyone to take their seats.

it wasn’t only about academics. paige was also known for hopping around from girl to girl, you know this since a couple of your friends had their fair share of dating her.

you were awoken late at night by a loud knock at your door. who could be awake this late?

as you opened the door, you came to a sad sight.

there your friend, lilly, was crying at your doorstep.

she was sobbing, her eyes swollen , puffy, and red due to the amount of uncontrollable tears.

you knew what…or should i say who this was about.

over the course of 2 months, your friend was on and off with her situationship, paige. lilly didnt know wether her and paige were a thing or not, she never knew what paige’s next move would be, little did she know that her next move would be completely ghosting her and pretending like she didn’t exist.

“ i just- i just don’t know what i did wrong. i mean i bought her things, i spent time with her, i supported her at all her games. every single one. how could i be so stupid? i’m literally one of the smartest people in this whole college and im not smart enough to realize that a girl is totally playing me.” , she sobbed grasping onto you like her life depended on it.

“ it’s okay lilly it’s okay, you deserve better.”

although lilly was your friend, karmas a bitch, she should’ve known better, if she had a wish, she would’ve never fucked around with paige ( LMAOOO ).

lilly, yes got hurt, but she was a bad person. in her past she was known for cheating, lying, and stealing. well stealing other people’s hearts of course. she would talk to them, make them fall in love, then drop them after they bought her a gift of some sort.

another one of your well known friends, keisha, always hooked up with paige. whenever paige was bored, she’d text keisha a good “ u up?” late night text , and keisha would be at her dorm room in no time, ready to have good sex.

of course, they weren’t your friends anymore, you realized soon after that lilly was a bad influence since she lied and cheated, while keisha was just to influenced in alcohol and hook up culture.

in essence, this girl was bad news, and she only liked the bad girls, so you’d obviously have to stay far far away from her….

————————————————————————

“ so how do you find x if you don’t have y?”

fuck my life.

“ paige, it’s not that hard. really. i learned this shit in seventh fucking grade, and you can’t get it. look let me show you….again.”, you said irritably, getting impatient by the second. you felt like you’ve taught her over a thousand times.

you guys were in her dorm, on her purple comforter, you were trying to teach her the literal easiest shit ever, and she couldn’t comprehend it. ugh she’s like a toddler.

“ so to find out x i have to add y and…what again?”

kms.

“ UGHHH paigeeeee”, you said, hands in your hair , frustrated with the stupidity this girl had. how could she be so smart on the court, yet so dumb when it came to math?

“ please, i need help, if i don’t pass this then i can’t play basketball. and we both really know how much i love basketball. it’s my everything. please?”, she said, her player facade fading away, showing her true and vulnerable self.

ugh those eyes….

“ …one more time paige. just try your best to get it. concentrate.”

paige nodded and smiled at her, looking down at the paper to attempt to grasp the information that she had trouble with.

————————————————————————

“ I ACED IT”, paige screamed, jumping up and down.

“ REALLY?”, you said eyes wide.

“ YES YES YES, omg i’m so happy right now!”, paige said , her eyes showing the pure raw excitement paige had.

paige then unexpectedly embraced you in a hug, it catching you off guard, but nonetheless, you hugged back.

if you knew the hug was wrong…..why did it feel so right?

you guys stood there for a solid minute, embracing eachother. you inhaled, smelling the sweet scent she radiated.

“ okay well i gotta go”, you said, sad knowing that this would be the last time that u had an excuse to spend time with her.

“ yea- um same.”, she said, giving u a slightly forced smile.

as you were walking away , sadness filling ur heart, u heard someone shout your name.

it was paige.

“ hey um, what about i take you to dinner?..you know just to thank you for all the work you’ve done to help me of course.”, she said with a hopeful look, her bright blue eyes illuminating like the pacific ocean.

how could i say no to those eyes?

“ um..you know what…yea of course. tommorow at 9 sounds good?”, you said , happier than you’d like to admit.

“ i promised’em that your different, and everyone makes mistakes. but just don’t.”

“ i’m telling you, you shouldn’t surround yourself around her, she’s a bad influence! she literally broke your ex friends hearts! both of them! paige isn’t a good girl to fall in love with.”, dominique one of your most recent friends said, stressed out about your love life right now.

“ i mean, she asked me out to dinner…”

“….she what? don’t tell me you said yes…”

“ i said yes.”

————————————————————————-

“ don’t bring me to tears when i just did my makeup so nice.”

you finished up your final touches in your makeup, when u got a text message.

pb and j

hey pretty girl

i’m here

i’m going.

as you came out your dorm, paige was there at your door checking her breath, startled by your sudden appearance, she smiled awkwardly, bringing up lego roses to your face.

how did she know that i didn’t like real flowers? and that i love legos?

your heart warmed at the sight, smiling at her, full teeth on display.

“ thank you paige, you shouldn’t have, really.”, you said, almost feeling bad that she spent money on you that she shouldn’t have.

“ no no no it’s my pleasure honestly.” , she said with a grin, sighing , relieved that you liked the gift.

“ let’s get going?”, you said.

“ whoever is last is the rotten egg!”, she yelled loudly, before running down the hall making her way down the stairs.

————————————————————————

“i heard your an actor, so act like a stand-up guy. whatever devils inside you, don’t let him out tonight.”

they’re at the restaurant, it’s way fancier than you expected. the waiter sat you guys down, and now both of you are looking at the menu.

when the waiter comes back, both of you agreed on chicken alfredo, and both of you got dr. pepper.

you guys start making conversation, talking about the things you didn’t know about eachother , and your goals in life.

————————————————————————

as you guys finished with your delicious meal, you decided that it was time to leave and go home. it was getting late after all.

as both of you walked out, the moon shining bright on your faces, the date unfortunately coming to an end, you guys talked a bit more, laughing at eachother jokes.

“ well that was fun.”, paige said, laughing, her teeth as bright as the stars.

“ yea it really was…”, you say with a smile on your face that couldn’t be removed no matter how hard you tried. a smile so permanent that it ached.

you guys gazed into eachothers eyes, her eyes taking a trip down to your lips, slowly bringing them back to your eyes once again.

“ paige i-“

you got cut off by paige, as she brought her lips to yours, sealing the night in a fond memory of the kiss you shared, the kiss that was between the two of you.

after a while, you opened your eyes and looked at her. she had her goofy smile on, looking at you with….i think love…? no couldn’t be. just lust.

“ um we should do this again. “

say no say no.

“ yes of course”, you said with a smile.

“ okay well…see you later. i’ll text you! “, paige said as she back peddled to her car, winking at you, before running to the vehicle .

god she’s such a goof.

as you got in your car, you only had one thought while having your head on the wheel, thinking about all the occurrences that had happened over the past few months. even though you knew it might end up bad, you couldn’t help but think…

please please please, don’t prove em right.

————————————————————————

WOOHOOO I FINISHED IT DONT PLAYYY!!! i was literally working on this for hours and my friend dominique was helping me with it too( literally love her )!! anyways hope you enjoy and make sure to lmk if yall want a second part or not!!! 💕💕 sorry if it’s bad ik i misspelled a couple i think and definitely misworded but not so bad to the point where you won’t get it. LOVE YAAA!!!💕

[casscainmainly]

can you dive more into bruce’s dislike of cass’ femininity?

Sure!! To preface this, gender and Cass is a really nuanced topic that has a lot of interpretations, all equally valid. This is just my own interpretation, and is mainly situated in early Batgirl (2000). I also recommend reading my gender and sexuality posts for Cass' persepctive on her relationship with gender. But since I've gotten a couple questions about it, I'll cover specifically Bruce's evolving opinions on Cass' gender here.

Beginning

From Batgirl #1, Puckett establishes Bruce's view of Cass: she is like him. Both Barbara and Bruce (and Cass herself) acknowledge this, and it allows Bruce to understand Cass in a way Babs doesn't. This isn't gendered yet, but the seed (that Horrocks will pull on) is there - Bruce closely associates Cass with himself, meaning he focuses on the ways they're similar and ignores the ways they're different.

This similarity is comforting not just for Bruce, but for Cass as well. They are equals - they have similar fighting abilities, philosophies against killing, ways of expressing themselves, etc. She doesn't have to hold back, not with him. Both of them wanted her to be 'like him'.

Bruce does not want Cass being taken "away from [him]". "You want me to think she's like you," he tells David Cain in #5. His biggest fear is Cass being like someone else, and not like him.

The Threat of Stephanie Brown

This recurring motto - 'you're not like them, you're like me' - crops up again when Bruce talks about Stephanie in #38. I've discussed how this makes Cass think she lacks something in femininity, but for Bruce this is him drawing a line between Steph and Cass. Steph is a 'girl', treated like one by Bruce: incompetent, not to be taken seriously, belittled. But because Cass is 'like Bruce,' she can "never" be like Stephanie. Cass being like Stephanie challenges not only Bruce's views of both women, but also his own highly cherished belief that him and Cass are the same.

Steph's feminine presence threatens Bruce and Cass' relationship, kicking off a series of issues where Bruce desperately tries to suppress Cass' gender and sexuality.

Vacation

When Cass encounters Tai'Darshan (a boy love interest) and lets him go, Bruce agrees to send Babs and Cass on a vacation. His motivations are extremely murky: Babs implies it was a set-up to get Cass into action again (justified by a panel of Bruce evilly smirking), but a panel right after has Bruce looking sad:

From #40: "You don't really give a damn about Cassandra, do you?" The juxtaposition between these two panels - one with Bruce (sans mask) smirking, and the other with Batman brooding - suggests he does care about Cass, but he struggles with how. For the first time he's realising that Cass isn't like him, that she's a girl with all that girlhood entails, and it frightens him. The cowl (Batgirl) allows him to ignore what's underneath, but Cass is coming through more and more.

But when Babs mentions Kon, the struggle goes out the window.

Thi anger is funny in a girldad way, but it goes to show how much he cannot stand the thought of Cass exploring her sexuality. It's not just that he doesn't want his little girl to date - it's that somehow, Cass embodying her girlhood will separate her from him forever.

Loss

Babs explicitly points out Bruce's feelings in #42. Though she couches it in non-gendered terms ("school, a job"), it's no coincidence that it's specifically a gendered thing - "falling in love" (with a boy, Kon and/or Tai) - that Bruce is reacting to. So far Bruce has threatened Cass away from Stephanie (her first female friend), Tai/Kon (love interests), and has repeatedly expressed dissatisfaction in Babs (Cass' mother figure). He tries to limit any relationships that allow Cass either feminine solidarity or expressions of her femininity.

Bruce sees girl!Cass as fundamentally opposed to Batgirl!Cass. Batgirl is like him - Cass is not. She's "distracted. Unfocused. Unreliable..." That last adjective is super interesting, because it frames Cass' explorations of gender as an insult against him. Cass becoming more girl-like is making her "unreliable" to Bruce, making her harder to trust.

"If you've got better things to do than being Batgirl, Cass, just say so." This can be read as an ultimatum, but also as a genuine question. He's asking if she wants to be like him (Batgirl), or go her own way (Cass). When she picks Batgirl, he tells her "no more trips to Kansas." To be like him, she must give up her explorations of gender/sexuality.

Firing

In the aftermath of a trip to Tai's hometown (during which he dies), Cass grows increasingly distant to Bruce.

Bruce finally realises that Cass is not like him - that her differences, most vitally expressed in her girlhood, means she needs something different from him. "She no longer tells us what she's doing..." Bruce still associates Cass exploring her gender as disloyalty to him and his symbol, but this time he acknowledges that maybe that disloyalty is a good thing.

Then we have maybe the most interesting part:

Bruce's "I wouldn't know" is a response to Babs' second dialogue, but it's interesting to read his words as also a response to the first. Because Bruce wouldn't know what it's like to give into hormones, to "have sex, take wild risks, misbehave". Of course he's had sex, but his life is so consumed by his mission that Bruce has limited opportunities to explore his gender. In a way, Bruce's repression of Cass' femininity reflects his repression of his own gender exploration.

The Fight

In #50, Cass and Bruce get into a fight, during which Babs questions whether Cass is trying to "kill" or "kiss" Bruce. In the broader context of their gender struggles, this fight is the culmination of Cass and Bruce figuring out their gender expressions and sexualities. I'm reading this not as a romantic kiss, but as a symbol of sexual release - of defying sexual and gendered repression.

Bruce finally explicitly asks Cass who's she loyal to, and Cass points to the Bat. For Bruce, this choice symbolises that Cass is still loyal to Batgirl/Batman, but also her own person; he finally understands how Cass is like him, but also unlike him, and that her (gender) difference doesn't make her any less able to wear the symbol.

This fight is often analysed from Cass' perspective, but it was clearly important to Bruce, too. It was the turning point in his treatment and understanding of Cass - after this point, their relationship never hits the same lows again, and Bruce starts treating her like her own person (cultiminating in the Batgirl (2008) adoption). In Gabrych's run, Bruce leaves Cass alone and doesn't stop her from searching for Shiva, a huge difference from the way he previously handled her feminine relationships and soul-searching.

Ending

So I guess to say Bruce hated Cass' femininity (which I wrote in a previous post) is an oversimplification; it's not purely misogyny (though that was a part of it), but his longing for her to be exactly like him that caused him to try to repress her gender/sexuality. Her femininity was a marker of difference, a sign she was not completely subsumed in him and his symbol. However, Horrocks' run also shows how Bruce changes and grows, learning to accept Cass as his wonderful daughter.

I hope that answers your question!!

[midnightwriter21]

Sanemi, Shinobu and Obanai x Giyuu little sister reader. Reader 20 and 1 year younger than Giyuu and is the Polar opposite of Jim like she very playful and curious but also very loving to him and he spoils her. She a civilian who owns a tea shop. May I have headcanons with her and those three and Giyuu reaction to each please?

demon slayer hcs: sanemi & shinobu x giyuu's little sister!reader

characters: sanemi, shinobu, giyuu

warnings: mentions of birth control in shinobu's (idek if that needs a warning lol)

AN: pumped this out at 3am lol, ill be doing obanai in another part!

SANEMI

your relationship was such a slow burn lol

when he finds out ur giyuu's sister its an immediate disliking on Sanemi's part

but are we rly surprised?

dude HATES giyuu

you spend a lot of time with the hashira

and you've become good friends with them so you're always around when the hashira are all together

they all adore u

you're sweet, funny, outgoing, confident

basically everything that giyuu isn't lollll

you brought snacks from ur teashop to one of the lil hashira hangouts

and you couldn't help but notice sanemi absolutely stuffing his face full of the ohagi that you brought

but who can blame him?

he might not like you but he never said you were a bad cook

and ohagi is his favorite

a couple days after the lil hangout

sanemi gets back to his estate after a mission and finds a cute lil basket adorned with a bow sitting on his doorstep

he picks it up and looks inside and its full of ohagi

after he goes inside and devours the whole basket

he finds a note at the bottom saying "enjoy <3" signed with your name

thats it right there.

the way to this mans heart is thru his stomach fr

now

when yall are dating dating

you keep it quiet

none of the other hashira know

and giyuu CERTAINLY doesn't know

until one day you're working at your tea shop and sanemi walks in to pick up the lunch that you made him

now me personally... id turn into a professional cook for this man

5 COURSE MEAL FOR EVERY MEAL

anyways

its not a busy day at the shop so he walks into the kitchen to find you cooking

and this man is HANDSY

so ofc he grabs you by your waist and pulls u into him

and starts feeling you up good lord please i want this so bad

you hear the faint 'ding!' of the bell above the front door

but pay it no mind assuming its a customer

and then the kitchen door opens

and everyone freezes

cause standing in the doorway is your older brother

thats the most expressive face sanemi has ever seen on giyuu

dudes eyes are wide as saucers

mouth wide open

shook af

like "dawg don't you hate me and everyone that associates with me?"

like "you have basically cursed my entire bloodline"

"you told me to off myself because im me"

and sanemi is just "i hate you not you're sister"

and goes back to feeling u up totally ignoring giyuu's presence

giyuu basically just moonwalks back out the door

and pretends he never saw any of that

lol i love them XD

SHINOBU

now shinobu liked you from the second she met you

she went to giyuu's estate to get him for a mission

and walks in to find you teasing and mocking tf outta ur older brother lmao

ofc she joins in

throwing in some teasing remarks of her own

poor giyuu lol

she is a frequent visitor to your tea shop

cause instead of making medicinal teas herself, now she can just get you to do it

plus she gets to see her favorite girlllll

now

the way giyuu finds out is too funny

you are in the infirmary at the butterfly mansion

dw ur not injured or sick or anything!!

now...

you're sitting on the bed waiting for shinobu

when giyuu walks in

and he's like "wtf are u doing here"

you're explain your business to ur brother when shinobu walks in looking down at a needle saying

"alright i have your birth control shot! not like you need it... i can't get u pregnant"

she looks up when she hears a 'smack'

and there you are with ur hand slapped to your forehead and a bright red face

giyuu just looks between you and shinobu with a blank face

before he passes clean out

dude hits the floor hard lmao

when he wakes up you give him an explanation

and then u and shinobu tease him for passing out

lol dude can't catch a break

[soundop-central]

my favourite brands of megasound in descending order

1. Earthspark

- yall. cmon. for a fandom obsessed with divorced, doomed robot yaoi, im surprised es megasound isn't more popular.

- not really because the megop shippers finally got a compelling good guy megs and a shitty person optimus prime to do their thing with.

- however, i do not ship megop. and i am here to spread my ultimate divorced couple toxic yaoi propaganda. es megasound W.

2. Transformers One

- okay, okay. i know i just got done talking about how es megasound is the ultimate toxic yaoi megasound. however. may i present to you transformers one.

- i have so many fucking thoughts about this flavor of megasound, and i will try to keep this brief.

- soundwave absolutely manipulates the fuck out of megatrons vulnerable state and establishes himself as the only one who is truly trustworthy

- megatron resists at first but soundwave is incredibly patient and megs appreciates that

- soon soundwave is megatrons most trusted associate and has solidified his place in the Decepticons.

- i'll stop here but please i love transformers one megasound........

3. G1

- listen. theyre both just so silly. i just idk man theyre both idiot goofballs who are so trusting of each other.

- autistic soundwave meeting adhd megatron and making one complete person out of each other

- they prank starscream and the elite trine in their freetime. its funny to them, incredibly horrible to the elite trine.

4. Prime

- genuinely i love prime just as much as the others. they have so much history in this continuity.

- enemies to lovers to friends to enemies to weird exes to lovers to friends to exes to lovers to

- megs did so much for soundwave early on in the war and soundwave feels as though it must pay him back with undying devotion

- toxic but not towards each other. cybertron's worst enabler in history soundwave with the space crack warlord megatron

in conclusion. i love megasound. i breathe megasound. i eat megasound. all flavors of megasound are good flavors.

[our-queer-experience]

I'm a transgender guy. I have known I am trans for a decade now, I have been on testosterone for 6 years, had top surgery 3 years ago, and am now figuring out getting phalloplasty. I'm very comfortable with who I am and my journey but being trans just isn't a big part of my day to day life or thoughts anymore. I haven't been misgendered for probably 3 years now and I often forget I am trans unless I am naked.

But the strange part is that even in my friend group of all gay and trans people, I am completely stealth. I met a couple of them right before I had top surgery and when I was recovering, I just said it was a private surgery and no one seemed to suspect anything. All of them consider me the token cisgender guy. I've gotten good at pretending to be fairly clueless on trans stuff while supporting my trans friends through their own journeys. I never really went out of my way to be stealth but when I first met some of them, one of them referenced me in a way that made it clear they thought I was cis and I realized that I didn't want to correct them.

Lately, I have been having a lot of thoughts and feelings about this though. Part of the reason why I originally leaned into being stealth is that I realized that even in queer spaces I get treated differently if I am seen as cis man vs trans man. My jokes are funnier, my opinions hold more weight, etc., compared to out trans men in the same space. But those reasons aren't specifically why I wanted to be stealth. I think getting treated differently when I am out (in ways that parallel misogyny) made me realize that, even in these spaces, some part of people aren't able to detach my transgenderness from my maleness. That when they think of me, they associate that in some way with the way I was born and that I am not male in the same way as my cis counterparts. And my fear was that if I came out and suddenly got treated differently then I would always be acutely aware of the way that people see me or are conscious of my history and it would bring back the dysphoria and make it hard to socialize again. The difference in treatment I get also makes me sad because even in these places where people try to be openminded and are staunchly feminist there is still some ingrained bias but that's another conversation.

I also have had experiences in the past of fellow trans people assuming things about my experiences or life that made me feel isolated in a different way. It's something that I don't want to go into detail with because it's personal but even just applying stereotypes to me that are inaccurate and make me realize that this person doesn't see who I am.

But over these past 3 years, I have narrowed down a group of friends that I don't think would treat me differently if they knew but I don't know for sure. And I know that once I tell them then I can never go back. In some ways, it would just be easier to stay stealth forever but it is kind of lonely to have this part of me I never share with the people I love. It's not a huge part of me but it is a part of me and I pride myself on being a very forthright person so it sometimes gets to me. Sometimes I want to talk about potentially getting phalloplasty or about funny experiences I have had relating to me being trans. Sometimes when a transmasc friend talks about something they are struggling with related to their identity or transition I want to be able to talk to them about it from a place of experience rather than supporting from the sidelines as an ally. Sometimes I want to be able to openly relate to other trans friends who are farther in their transition about how things change over the years. But I also like how things are and I feel scared to take that leap or wonder if I even should. I have had issues with being outed and harassed in the past and even though I trust all my friends I think a part of me feels like if even one person knows then I will always be afraid they will betray that trust.

And I know this is all immensely privileged. I am very lucky that I pass so well and that I have so many queer friends and even that I benefit from male privilege because of where I am in my life. I am getting to make a choice here that lots of trans people would kill to get to make. I am also not inherently afraid of being treated with subconscious misogynistic biases if I come out but more what that implies and if that would bring back a lot of social dysphoria that I don't really deal with much anymore. I've made a lot of progress in my life and mental health and I think I am just afraid to shatter that and honestly, I also just feel sort of isolated and lonely in this situation but I know from past experiences that being out also can be lonely and isolating in different ways. I think the allure of staying stealth is that at least this way the loneliness is affirming.

That's everything I have been thinking about for the past couple months. I guess I wrote all this to be heard by someone or share this in case there is someone like me who is also going through this. Any advice from anyone is really appreciated since I don't have anyone I can talk to irl who gets it. Thank you for running this blog :)

thank you for sharing!!! you’re always welcome to talk here :]