#so it did help me a lot with stress and some personal shenanigans going on

[jnnul]

nouvelle vague

a/n: i've been in a fever dream writing this fic, honestly. i kinda just needed to write it. it means so much to me that i did though because it's something that i wish that i had learned earlier and i just love this fic so much please love her like i have. and a huge HUGE thank you to xixi and soph for beta reading! couldn't have made this fic possible without you <3 quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

word count: 13.3k

tags: college au!, confusing love, y/n who can't get her life together, self-destructive mc x perfect donghyun with a sprinkle of best boy dongmin, so many good friends and so many lessons to be learned

warnings: explicit detail of sex (oral, foreplay, angry sex, unprotected sex...) underage drinking, and general college shenanigans! also heavy detailing of unhealthy relationships with stress, and academic pressures :(

playlist: nouvelle vague - wave to earth, fairy of shampoo - dosii, she - jannabi, 0310 - yerin baek

THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS THAT YOU KNEW NOT TO DO.

don't leave the gas on, don't let sanghyeok lee cook anything, and don't get into pointless arguments with dongmin han that he gets overly competitive about winning.

"...which is why you've got to trust me when i say that mbti is a science that you can actually trust!"

"i don't know, min, i just think mbti is stupid. it's a pseudoscience at best, and that too is a complete overstatement," you say off-handedly, more preoccupied with finding the book you needed to write your essay on. dongmin scoffs, pressing a steepled hand to his chest in offense as he pulls down the book you were look for with the other.

"that sounds like something an intj would say," he counters, withholding the book from you. you stare at him unimpressed, arms folded over your chest.

"it sounds like something a logical person would say," you retort, waiting for him to relent and return your book. this behavior (much to your dismay) was nothing new and you knew your best friend well enough to just wait out his tantrums for you to be able to move on with your life.

dongmin looks at you expectantly and you sigh, hanging your head. "alright, alright, i'm not a logical person; i've just got a stick up my ass. are you happy now?"

your best friend harrumphs proudly and touches the book to both of your shoulders, as though he were knighting you. you roll your eyes and snatch the book from him, hugging it close to your chest for fear that he might steal it from you again.

"maybe if you actually had a stick up your ass once in a while, you wouldn't be such a killjoy all the time," dongmin snorts, narrowly dodging you when you wind up to smack him with the book (read: weapon) in your hand.

"alright so now since i haven't had sex in a while, i'm a killjoy?" you say as the both of you make your way back to the study room that you'd reserved in hopes that you'd actually get some work done today. although, you should've been wise enough to give up on such nonsensical ideas the moment dongmin texted/warned you that he would be gracing you with his presence.

"i still can't believe you won't tell me who you had sex with last. and besides, i don't think you're a killjoy," dongmin clarifies, opening the door for you to walk through. "but everyone else does."

"because i'm voluntarily celibate?"

"because you never go out anymore! you used to be so much fun, y/n. you used to be the girl that would have crazy stories from when she would party until five in the morning. the one who'd have boy after boy lining up in front of her door just to see if they would get a chance with you. not to mention the fact that you used be able to drink us all to shame. i still think you're an awesome and fun person without doing any of those things but i miss you sometimes, you know? i just can't help but wonder where that girl went and that's why everyone else can't understand why a person like you and i can be best friends when they see us now. because they don't know what you used to be like."

you sigh, tucking your hood over your shoulder as you begin to analyze the work in front of you.

"i didn't go anywhere, min and you know that. i don't care what other people think as long as my best friend knows the truth. and besides, that lifestyle was never going to be a sustainable one. i just decided that i wanted more out of life than just parties and bad grades," you explain patiently, eyes never leaving the neatly organized papers in front of you.

dongmin huffs and leans backwards into the booth, but he knows it's the truth. while he'd become friends with you because of your rambunctious and adventurous spirit back in freshman year, he'd chosen to remain best friends with you even later on because you were a good person - an ambitious person who wanted to make something out of their life.

"you can have both, you know," he mumbles and you smile gently at him before looking back down at your book.

"i know. you can have both because you were smart and made sure your grades never slipped. i didn't do that and now i'm paying the price," you remind him, and you can sense dongmin's protest about your self-deprecating statement bubbling up but he's interrupted when the study room door opens and a series of people begin to file in.

"hey, so sorry to have to kick you out but we have the room reser - wait. dongmin? what are you doing in a study room, man?" one of the men who'd walked in says.

you don't pay attention to the people walking in as you begin to gather your materials, leaving the socializing to your much more extroverted best friend. you check your watch, cursing under your breath when you realize that you'd spent too much time looking for the book and dongmin’s antics. you were supposed to switch from this study room to the one next door, because that one was available for a long period of time but only opened up right as the current one was going to be occupied.

"eh, i just came to bother y/n," dongmin says with a bored tone that everyone in the room knows is a front. "what are you guys doing here? don't you have a musty basement to throw a rager in?"

this leads all of the men and women who walked in to snicker, pointing at the poor soul who'd decided to take it up with dongmin today.

"you're basically in the frat too," the man protests and you finally register him to be jeongwoo park, one of dongmin's heaps of friends in the tsr frat.

"yeah but you have to pay to drink your own alcohol with your own dues," dongmin points out, snickering at jeongwoo. "i drink your alcohol for free."

"i say we ban this kid from our parties," another voice, hyunwoo kim pipes up, and a chorus of 'yeah's' and 'shut up jeongwoo' rise up simultaneously from both sides of the conversation. you fail to keep in your giggle as you watch dongmin get banned from the tsr frat in realtime (that you know he's going to charm his way out of somehow anyway), causing some of the people to turn their attention to you.

"y/n! how are you babe? it feels like it's been a century since we've last seen you!" one of the girls, jihyo han, says warmly and you give her a shy smile.

"i'm doing alright. swamped with projects," you say, lifting your arms up to showcase the number of books and papers you were balancing and doyeon coos sympathetically.

"that's what double majoring in english literature and architecture does to you but the woman doesn't listen to me," dongmin says, jostling you jestfully. you turn to chide him for pushing you when you accidentally lose grip of all of your work, causing it to tumble to the ground in what feels like slow-motion into heaps of unorganized messes.

"dongmin!" you hear hyunwoo scold as you swoop down to gather everything into your arms once more. another figure joins you on the ground, scooping papers into a neat stack with nimble fingers and strong arms. you look up to make eye contact with donghyun kim, immediately averting your eyes when you do, afraid of what he might find in them if he kept looking at you for too long.

"thanks," you mumble when donghyun hands you the papers he's collected and he just offers you a soft smile.

"it does feel like it's been a while since we've seen you around, y/n. even sanghyeok complains that he hasn't seen you at their place lately," donghyun says gently and you're left to shrug helplessly as you adjust to grasp at the stray pages more carefully.

"ah. yeah. i haven't really gone over to dongmin and sanghyeok's place lately because i've been in the library most of the time," you say and donghyun nods, silent as he watches you with that knowing gaze that sets your every nerve on fire.

sometimes, you wonder if donghyun knows how much of an impact he has on those around him just by the way he looks at them.

you don't have feelings for donghyun - at least no feelings worth discussing with anyone and none that you were ever willing to recall - but you're sure that pretty any one with a pair of eyes and a functioning heart could acknowledge just how attractive he was.

you were almost 99.99% sure that even if what had happened between you and donghyun hadn't happened, anyone's heart would skip at least once when they talked to him.

"i'm gonna go to the other study room," you announce hurriedly to no one in particular and dongmin takes it as his cue to bid his friends farewell as the two of you make your way to the study room.

"feel free to come to our room if it gets too loud or crowded in here!" dongmin yells over his shoulder, much to your dismay and to the chagrin of the librarian sitting at her desk a few yards away.

"sorry!" he exclaims, equally as loud, and the librarian just rolls her eyes with a forgiving smirk tugging at her lips. of course dongmin had managed to charm her too. you'd be surprised if your best friend left anyone with two legs and a heartbeat on this campus without at least an attempt to get into their pants.

or vice versa. mostly vice versa.

"oh that reminds me. sanghyeok asked me if you wanted to come to movie night this friday. you've skipped out on the last three because of work and exams but you're finally gonna be submitting all the big ones by this thursday so i don't want to hear any excuses on why you can't come to movie night. alright? alright. besides, all of the guys from our - your freshman year are gonna be there. and also, sanghyeok is gonna bring his girlfriend too so you won't be the only girl," dongmin says, his words firing out of his mouth in rapid succession.

you just nod in understanding, knowing that this shouldn't be the hill that you died on when it came to dongmin's antics.

"and i also may or may not have promised that you'd come to jaehyun's party on saturday," dongmin adds sheepishly and this finally catches your attention.

"movie night is one thing but a party is another thing, dongmin! is it a frat party or a clubbing type event? how long is the event? do you need me to send a present for him or something? isn't it his birthday soon?" you interrogate and dongmin just throws a pencil at you and puts his index finger to his lips to shush you.

"woman, do you ever shut up?" he sasses, immediately raising his hands in surrender when your eyebrows lift so high, they disappear into your hairline. "what i mean is, jaehyun said that he would give me the number of that cute girl from your structural design class that you won't give me if you come to his party."

"how does he know her? and what does that have to do with my attendance at his party?" you ask and dongmin shrugs, leaning over the table.

"it's jaehyun. he knows everything about everyone," dongmin reminds you and you have to concede to that. "and i'm not kidding when i say that people miss you y/n. you're still that fun person when you're away from your work and people haven't seen that side of you in so long. you've gotta oblige jaehyun on his birthday, don't you think?"

"...i'll think about it," you say with a sigh after a few beats of contemplation. "as long it's not a 'rager in a musty basement' like jeongwoo's parties."

dongmin lifts three fingers solemnly. "scout's honor. it's not going to be a rager in a musty basement. now please. finish your work! i'm hungry and sanghyeok promised ramen from the ramen bar."

+++

to dongmin's credit, the movie night was actually a breath of fresh air from your constant cycle of work, school, and stress. sanghyeok's girlfriend, jayoon sim, was the sweetest girl you'd ever met in your life, back when you'd met her at the beginning of the year. she was very similar to sanghyeok in the fact that she was outgoing and on the louder side but it was heartwarming to see sanghyeok start to mellow out to balance her spark.

it wasn't as though sanghyeok was toning down his personality for her - if anything, the two of them were even more chaotic together - but he seemed to like riding the backseat of the conversation more often as jayoon went on some tangent or another of the plot of the movie.

which led to lots of moments where the movie was paused by one of the five boys present at movie night (more often than not, it was sungho park, who was more intrigued by jayoon's tangents than the movie itself) and lots of popcorn being eaten in those breaks.

and that was how you found yourself standing in sanghyeok's kitchen, popping another bag of popcorn - the fourth bag in the past hour. sanghyeok had offered but you knew from personal experience that sanghyeok plus any form of cooking equals fire.

you personally thought it was a talent to be that talentless at cooking but dongmin, sanghyeok's roommate and the unfortunate soul who had to put out said fires, was not nearly as amused as you were.

"do you need any help?" you hear a voice ask behind you. you turn to make eye contact with donghyun, standing in the space that separated the kitchen from the foyer where you could faintly hear jaehyun myung and dongmin get into yet another argument about the logistics of whether or not batman could feasibly buy the mona lisa.

"it's just popping a bag of popcorn," you answer. donghyun laughs, taking another step forward into the kitchen.

"and yet sanghyeok manages to destroy the bag and the popcorn every single time," donghyun reminds you and you shrug, slipping your phone into your pocket.

"it's hard to do. you have to give him that," you admit and he laughs again, shaking his head.

"touché."

there's a blanket of silence that falls over the conversation, the argument in the other room providing background noise so it doesn't grow awkward.

you knew donghyun wasn't much of a talker but at this point, you just didn't know what to say to him anymore. he wasn't a stranger to you - he was close to dongmin, and prior to that, you had been pretty close to the five boys. they'd been the boys that you'd gone out with most of the time during the second half of freshman year and the beginning of sophomore year.

donghyun had seen you in a number of embarrassing situations; granted, most of them were while you were blackout drunk, but the number of times that you were in asaid state during the first half of your college education was embarrassing enough.

and he'd seen you...he'd seen all of you. he'd seen too much of yourself and it made you want to stuff yourself deep underground so you could escape his knowing gaze.

so while donghyun kim was no stranger to you, this new version of you was a stranger to him.

it was an odd feeling: having the knowledge of a shared past that neither of you could fully relate to any longer, and having mentalities that extended in distinctly different directions in the present.

donghyun was the prime example of being able to have it all. from what you knew about him from the past three years of tentatively close friendship, you knew that he was a strong academic who would skip out on a party here and there to make sure he could study the next morning but could be convinced into having a good time pretty much anywhere.

you've heard of a good many adventures from dongmin just this year about how the five of them had found themselves in abandoned malls or parties at the college neighboring yours, which was infamous for its ability to throw a rager for pretty much any reason.

if anything, the strongest feeling that you felt towards donghyun kim was sheer, unadulterated, pure jealousy. how could one person be so well-balanced while it felt like you were fighting an uphill battle everyday just to get everything done?

that jealousy was what had landed you in the situation you were in now: filled to the brim with stress and ready to pop at any moment. it was also that envy which had led to that mistake at the beginning of sophomore year between you and donghyun.

"y/n? are you okay?" donghyun asks, waving a hand in front of your face. you blink, turning belatedly to open the microwave door, only to see that donghyun had already done it for you.

"sorry. i spaced out for a second," you mumble, and busy yourself by searching for a new bowl, seeing as the one in the foyer was still somewhat filled with popcorn.

"you really need to take breaks more often, y/n. i feel like the stress of constantly being on the go is getting you," donghyun echoes from behind you and for some reason, the concern in his voice makes you ashamed and angry more than anything else.

easy for you to say donghyun, you want to say. everything comes easy to you. you didn't fuck up like i did. you don't have to fight everyday to make sure that you actually have a future worth living for because you weren't young and stupid.

but all you actually say is, "yeah, you're definitely right."

you avoid donghyun's heavy gaze as you pour the popcorn into the bowl, silently willing him to go back to the foyer so you could simmer in your embarrassment in peace but to your dismay, he doesn't leave.

"you're incredibly intelligent and hard-working. but if you don't give yourself a break sometimes, you're just going to burn out. i wish you'd come back to us sometimes. you can't ruin your present for your future," he says softly, and suddenly everything is just too much.

his words strike a chord in your mind somewhere and you can feel your strong front start to crumble.

you want to yell at him, scream that he had no right to tell you how to live your life and that you were going to lay in the pile of sins that you'd committed. but for some reason, all you can do is try and fight back tears.

it makes you feel so incredibly embarrassed that you'd worked so hard for the past two years to ensure that you'd never slip up. that your mistakes from freshman year and the first half of sophomore year wouldn't catch up to you.

you'd worked on yourself, working on controlling your lust for going out and having fun. on not getting affected by when people would ask you to come out with them, only to reject them for fear of what would happen to your academics. you'd worked on not showing any signs of being tired or scared of your future.

just to cry. just to cry here in front of donghyun in sanghyeok's kitchen. not in the privacy of your home where no one could see you. but the exact place in front of the exact person that you didn't want to see you cry at all.

you hastily wipe at your tears, willing them to stay in the confinement of your eyes before you could let them fall in a place that would deliver such a blow to your ego or your social standing.

donghyun is taken aback, you can tell by the way that his usually impassive face has a hint of worry written into the lines of his forehead that crinkle as he watches you try to put yourself together.

"can you give this popcorn to the others? i just need to use the restroom really quickly," you whisper hoarsely, not daring to look at donghyun in the eyes as you rush out of the kitchen, trying your best to look alright and conceal the fact that you were crying in front of the five other people in the foyer.

you know you're unsuccessful though when you hear footsteps growing louder and louder as they approached the bathroom and it takes every ounce of your strength to keep from crying harder.

"y/n? you okay? you looked kinda hurried going into the bathroom." it's dongmin, and you contemplate for a moment before slowly opening the bathroom door, pulling him in and he immediately wraps you into a hug as soon as he sees your tear-streaked face.

"i'm okay. i just really need a hug right now," you manage to warble out, and dongmin's arms just get tighter around your shoulders. you try to come down, steadying your breathing as you try to keep fresh tears from falling down your cheeks when a knock sounds at the door.

"it's me," donghyun says and you want to curse him out. you want to tell him to leave you alone. that you didn't want to talk to him and that you wanted him to stop judging you and your choices. instead, you lean over, breaking away from dongmin, to click open the bathroom door.

"i'm so sorry," he says softly and you shake your head, giving him a mirthless smile.

"i've just been super high-tension for the past couple of days with all of the submissions and i just - i just kinda fell apart. sorry you had to see that."

donghyun steps forward, and dongmin steps back, letting go of where his arm was resting on your shoulder.

"i didn't mean to make you feel bad, y/n. i was just worried about you. i know what it's like to feel that kind of pressure and i just hated to see one of my...friends in that level of stress," he continues, glancing at dongmin when he says the word friend, and dongmin steps around you in the tiny bathroom to reach the door.

"i'm gonna leave you two alone. don't do anything i would do," he warns with a stupid grin and despite the situation, you find yourself laughing, threatening to throw the toothpaste at him.

"he's so dumb," you say under your breath and donghyun watches you carefully.

"he's a good friend," he remarks and you nod, pulling at the toilet paper to wipe your tears away.

"he's the best friend i could ever ask for," you agree and donghyun's expression doesn't change but his demeanor grows a little more hesitant.

"we all thought you guys were gonna start dating, you know. i mean, he's the one person who stuck by you through everything," he confesses and you immediately shake your head, the very thought of it making you want to gag.

"dongmin and i? no way. he's my best friend but i could never see him as my boyfriend. we're more like siblings than any sort of romantic relation; i'd fax his soul directly to satan if he asked me for my fries but i'd give my kidney to him," you explain and donghyun relaxes a bit, leaning against the wall behind him as he watches you clean yourself up.

"he hasn't talked to you about how much stress you're putting on yourself?"

"i'm doing fine, donghyun. i really do appreciate that you have my best interests in mind but dongmin's the one who's been there for every single step i've made. if he doesn't think that there's an extreme cause for concern, no offense, but i really don't see why you do."

donghyun has nothing to say to that, and although he probably should, he doesn't feel hurt at all. you were right. donghyun knew you as an outsider, compared to dongmin and even sanghyeok, and didn't know how much stress (or lack thereof) there really was in your life.

but he couldn't explain why he was so worried or why he missed your old troublemaking tendencies so much. or why he missed your strange ideas of a good time or unnecessary dialogues during movie nights. he couldn't explain why he missed the heat of your body on cold nights or why he replayed that fateful night in his mind over and over again.

this was the first movie night that you'd been to in a while from donghyun's knowledge but what did he know? he was only at this movie night because dongmin invited the old freshman/sophomore year gang to start their friday movie nights tradition once more instead of them just being sanghyeok, you, and dongmin.

so when you slip past him, not only does donghyun find himself at a loss for words, but he also finds himself more confused than he had been before your conversation.

at least he could figure it (whatever it was) at jaehyun's party tomorrow.

+++

the one redeeming factor of your attendance of jaehyun's party in exchange for dongmin's sexcapades, in your opinion, was that it was not in fact hosted in a musty basement.

jaehyun had taken it upon himself to host his party in the penthouse of his apartment (rich people had the strangest ways of spending their money), which was definitely a step up from what you were expected.

unfortunately, the sheer number of people in that party who were present, on top of the number of people who were surprised at your presence was more than a little bit overwhelming.

you'd forgotten just how loud these parties got, and if you weren't already over the legal drinking age, you'd be extremely worried about being caught dead near this many drunk people.

not that you hadn't done your fair share of illegal consumption of ethanol but that was something you chose not to dwell upon.

"Y/N! I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH SINCE YESTERDAY!" you hear someone scream over the obnoxiously loud music, and immediately, your vision goes black as jaehyun bearhugs you, clearly too drunk to be fully present in the situation at hand.

"jaehyun! happy birthday!" you manage to squeak out, hitting dongmin in the arm to pry jaehyun off of you. you'd convinced dongmin to stick with you the whole time during the party in exchange for you actually showing up and he'd declared that he'd serve as your bodyguard during jaehyun's party for times like these.

"alright bud, i don't think she's ever gonna come back to a party if you squeeze her to death," dongmin warns jaehyun, peeling the energetic boy off of you. jaehyun pouts, not looking unlike his dog (the cutest golden retriever named juno) as he shakes his head stubbornly.

"no! she has to come back! she's so much fun! she's the life of the party!" he exclaims, searching through the throng of people for a cup of whatever nasty concoction you were sure sungho had come up with.

you should've known better than to come to this party, you lament. any of jaehyun's parties always turned into ragers from the absolutely insane number of people that he knew.

but soon enough, jaehyun is shoving a cup into your hand, the suspicious liquid in it sloshing around dangerously as he teeters backward into a tall figure.

"careful, dude. you don't want to end up in the emergency room on your birthday again," the figure says, catching jaehyun's body in his arm.

you internally groan. donghyun.

"ugh no. i hated going to the emergency room last year for my birthday," jaehyun whines with a strong tone of sheer pout staining his words.

"that's what i thought. where's sungho?" donghyun asks, and you figure that sungho must've been put on jaehyun duty for the night, as the man was a total lightweight and was known for endangering himself more than anyone else whenever he had a single drop of alcohol in his system.

"sungho! OH MY GOD SUNGHO!" jaehyun yells, slipping out of donghyun's grasp in search of his more than likely tired friend.

"that guy needs a girlfriend," dongmin sighs and you roll your eyes.

"why? so some poor girl can get tasked with dealing with jaehyun's mess every time he gets drunk?"

"nah. every time jaehyun gets a girlfriend, he turns into such a clean drunk it's crazy. i think he subconsciously feels bad that his girlfriend has to take care of him so he does it on purpose," donghyun explains and you hum, examining the substance in your cup with a critical eye.

you never knew that jaehyun had had a girlfriend. or more than one girlfriend at that. you were pretty close with jaehyun once upon a time. why hadn't he told you when he started dating someone? had you really become that out of touch with your friends?

all because you decided that you didn't want to party anymore?

no. that wasn't it. your friends weren't people like that. it was probably because you declined every single invitation that they'd extended to you to hang out with them.

a guilty weight settles in your chest as you start thinking about just how many times your friends had invited you to do things with them over the past year and a half. in the moment, you'd always had something that you needed to do. something to submit, something to do for extra credit, something to do to get better grades.

but now that you looked back on the past year and a half, you could only remember the events they'd invited you to, and just a handful of truly important assignments you'd needed to submit.

"you don't need to drink that," donghyun says, extending his hand for you to deposit the drink into. dongmin looks between you and donghyun, confused by the sudden offer. donghyun never went black knight for anyone else - much less women he wasn't all that close to.

even when you were a well integrated member of their friend group, you had never been particularly close to donghyun, from what dongmin remembered. the two of you were close enough to embark on drunken adventures separate from the group maybe once or twice but definitely not close enough to mention those adventures to dongmin in explicit detail.

not close enough for donghyun to drink a drink for you.

it's clear that you think the same thing (for different reason, however) when you lift the cup to your lips, staring at donghyun straight in the eyes as you tip your head back, drinking all of the contents of the cup in one straight go.

donghyun smirks, watching you drink the whole cup, aware that you were proving a point to him.

you don't need to keep trying to worry for me. i can handle myself.

the message is clear in your eyes as you lock eyes with him, wiping the excess liquid on your lips with the back of your hand, the challenge explicit in the way you look at him.

"too much pride is no good for you," donghyun quips and you roll your eyes.

"it's not pride. i just know that i can handle my alcohol. i don't need you to worry about me or worry about whether i can or not," you retort. "you worry about me when i study too much. you worry about me when i party. when are you not worried about me donghyun? why are you even so worried in the first place?"

"because we used to be good friends," donghyun counters but his argument isn't all that strong, by the way his voice wavers when you step a step too close to him - so close that he can smell the cinnamon of your perfume.

"were we? we were friends, sure. but were we good friends, donghyun? we just went out together. we hung out with the group but we weren't all that close. not...not until... not close enough for you to be suddenly popping back into my life with advice that i don't need and i didn't ask for!" you can't help but raise your voice, searching blindly for dongmin's arm and dragging him with you, chest heaving in anger as you storm away from donghyun.

"what the hell?" dongmin is left to ponder. "has the alcohol already kicked in?"

+++

"don't talk to me right now," you seethed, pushing at donghyun's chest as you walked faster towards the rest of your friends, somewhere further up the street, laughing and shoving each other.

"i don't even know what i did!" donghyun exclaimed, using those stupidly long legs so that he was walking backwards, face to face with you. "why are you so fucking mad at me?"

"you seriously don't know?" you yelled, and you saw dongmin turn around to see what was taking the two of you so long, unaware of the bomb he'd dropped, but he's turned back around just as fast by sungho, who had an extremely drunk jaehyun on his back and clearly needed dongmin's help carrying their lightweight friend who was a heavyweight in body weight when drunk.

"i seriously don't know!" donghyun repeated, his arms flying up to show you how frustrated he was. of course he didn't know. there was no way that he could know just how upset you were with his perfection. of course dongmin had to mention that donghyun had a 4.0 gpa. of course he could come out every night with you and your friends and still maintain that gpa.

of course he didn't have to worry about whether he would even get a job in the future because he'd failed a class or two. of course he could go out every night. of course he could drink his weight in alcohol and still function the next day. of course he could get any girl he wanted just by looking at them for a second too long.

"i hate you," you whispered, almost as if the words had escaped the dark recesses of your mind against your own will.

"what?" donghyun asked incredulously, swooping down to catch the noxious words falling from your painted lips.

"i said, i hate you." your eyes were fierce, shining with a dangerous light that donghyun had never expected from you and had never seen before. you looked like the picture of peril, a knife poised at his throat, threatening to draw blood.

it was an emotion that was so raw that donghyun found himself leaning even closer, absolutely intoxicated by the reckless way that you refuse to hide the challenge in your eyes.

"are you guys coming or what?" sanghyeok call out from where the rest of your friends were, some ten yards ahead of you. donghyun waved him off, his stare never leaving yours.

"we're going back to my place. i've gotta show y/n something," donghyun yelled back and you can't help the sneer that draws upon your lips and if donghyun weren't beyond turned on, he was sure that he would find it a little concerning.

it wasn't everyday, after all, that one of your good friends mentions that she despises you. especially not a good friend that you found incredibly attractive.

the rest of them turned back around, leaving you and donghyun to simmer in this strange energy. competition, charged with something else much more primal - anger and lust.

the entire walk to donghyun's place is silent. it was just a five minute walk from where you'd split from your friends but those five minutes feel excruciating as you feel a dark sense of excitement sit deep in your core, making you feel split in two directions.

the first direction was much more logical: you were jealous of donghyun's ability to handle it all and you wanted to just yell at him and scream until your throat went hoarse.

the second direction was stronger and much less logical: you were incredibly drawn to donghyun and you wanted him to fuck your throat until it went hoarse.

same end goal, but different ways of pursuit.

the second direction ends up winning out when you found yourself pressed up against donghyun's door the second you step out of the elevator and into his studio apartment, donghyun walking you backwards so that you shut the door with the movement.

his lips stayed tantalizingly close to yours as he reached up to lock the door, his hand falling down so that it was cupping your cheek and his eyes search yours, looking for any sign of discomfort.

"look, are you going to fuck me or not?" you whispered harshly and he barks out a laugh, his other hand moving from where it was resting by his side to caress your waist.

"you've got so much anger in you, y/n. what did i do for you to hate me so much?"

"does it matter? i'm telling you to fuck me. either i leave without a heart to heart and you can jerk yourself off or i leave without a heart to heart but you cum inside a pussy tonight instead of your hand," you bit back.

donghyun's breath was shallow as he assessed you, making sure that you were in the right mind and could make decisions for yourself. if you really knew what you were asking for.

the thought of it pissed you off.

"i just don't know if this is a good idea," he admitted and you straightened up, hand reaching next to you to turn the doorknob. you didn't need someone who was going to be so apprehensive. so now you weren't even good enough to fuck?

"i'm leaving then," you said donghyun's hand immediately covered your own, pulling it back and over his shoulder so that one of your hands was resting at the nape of his neck.

you circled the other one to link your arms around his neck, forcing him to bend even further so that he was eye level with you now, lips so close that he can practically taste the flavor of your lip gloss.

"do you want me to leave donghyun? do you think this a bad idea?" you asked, purposefully letting the venom of all of your emotions drip into your voice. you're being unfair, you knew that, but it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter when he was so close and yet so far from you and you couldn't even think straight.

"fuck you." his voice ghosted over your lips, and the two of you stayed like that for a moment, equally proud and unwilling to be the one to give in and kiss in the other.

but donghyun's patience clearly wasn’t as strong as your ego when his lips pressed against yours, too gentle for your taste. you wrapped your arms a little tighter around him, letting him rest his hands low on your back, still too careful.

"i said i hated you and this is the best retaliation you've got?" you whispered, and it's like a switch turns on in donghyun's brain. his hands leave their position on your back to cup your cheeks harshly, tilting your head up so he could kiss you deeper.

you sigh against his lips, a smirk tugging at your own as you finally achieve the level of animosity you were looking for. you didn't want to have sex with donghyun. you didn't want to make love with him.

you wanted to be fucked. ruined. unable to think straight.

which was why you let him kiss you stupid, your lips swollen from the force of his own. it was as though the two of you were inseparable; his hands roamed your body freely, claiming every square inch of it for himself.

he tugged you forward harshly, lips never detaching from yours, hands reaching lower and lower until they finally settled on your ass, and you couldn't help the shallow gasp that left your mouth when he squeezed experimentally, a cocky grin melting into your kiss when he hears the soft noise.

he turned the two of you so that you were walking backwards as donghyun walked you into his bedroom, finally pulling away when your knees buckled as they hit the bed, making you fall backwards onto it.

he didn't even give you a moment to think as his lips descended on you once more, even more insistent and rough than before as he let you slip his leather jacket off his body.

his lips left yours, descending further down your body until they reached the hem of your strapless top, leaving wet kisses and blooming bruises in a heady rush.

"y/n, you have to tell me if you want me to stop." donghyun's voice came out strained and you knew that he was exercising every bit of self control to keep from fucking you stupid.

unfortunately, that was exactly what you wanted from him.

"donghyun. i'm not going to say it again. fuck me stupid."

that was all he needed before he was practically ripping at your top, pulling it off of you harshly before diving in to suck hickeys down your chest, unbuttoning your jeans at the same time.

he tugged them off in one motion, leaving you in nothing but a bandeau bra and your underwear.

"thought you were gonna get lucky tonight?" he asked with an eyebrow raised as he looked at your panties - which were fortunately, and unfortunately, the sexiest ones that you owned. lacy and thin and everything.

"yeah. thought i was gonna finally fuck sunghoon park again. that man knows how to fuck a girl into the headboard," you retorted and you could tell that you'd gotten under your skin by the way that he reached forward to pull at the strap of your panties, letting the elastic snap against your waist with a painful sting.

"you're such a little brat. you need someone to fuck that attitude out of you. didn't know you had such a fucking dirty mouth on you," donghyun growls, and you would've come up with some equally as brutal response when donghyun pulled his shirt over his head with one hand.

you'd seen donghyun shirtless before. multiple times, honestly, with the number of times dongmin tries to pull you guys into random bodies of water whenever he got drunk. but seeing him in that moment felt like your blood was made of lava that was coursing through your body, rushing to settle in your core.

"you're so pretty but you're so bitchy sometimes, you know that?" donghyun taunted, hovering over you so that his gold necklace hit the bridge of his nose as he leaned over, pushing you up the bed so that your head hit the pillows.

"heard someone was gonna fuck the attitude out of me?"

donghyun smiled a wolfish smile, and pulled your underwear down, almost painfully slow as he watched you squirm, clearly unhappy with his pace.

he threw them behind him somewhere that you knew you were going to have to search for in the morning but it didn't matter in that moment.

no. all that mattered was that donghyun's lips were on your core, licking an experimental stripe, grinning proudly when he saw you shiver. he dove back in, enthused by the groans leaving your lips.

his lips were unrelenting, his tongue darting out to dip into your pussy, leaving you at his mercy. your hands reached out to tug on donghyun's hair insistently, incredibly overwhelmed by just how good he was making you feel.

"fuck. pull harder," he groaned, his hot breath fanning over your pussy, causing goosebumps to run up your spine.

you giggle, a sound that sounds out of place in such a situation, but you didn't care and obliged, pulling on his hair even harder. he groaned, leaning in to eat you out with even more vigor, his hands on your clit and rubbing at it in just the right motion. you'd laugh at his conflict if you weren't otherwise preoccupied with the hot ball of pleasure growing in your core.

donghyun watched you carefully as he pulled away, instead replacing his tongue with just one finger, waiting to see if you'd show any signs of discomfort. when you didn't, he moved his finger in and out slowly, adding another when he noticed you started to get impatient with his ministrations.

"trust me, there's nothing i want to do more than to fuck you dumb. but i can't do that if i can't be convinced that i'm not to break you in half with my cock," he whispered.

"i don't think you're big enough for that," you snarked back and donghyun just offered you a shit-eating grin and added another finger, watching for any sign that you might tap out. holy fuck. was he actually that fucking big?

he picked up the pace, fucking you faster and rougher, his fingers slipping out for just a moment as he adjusted himself so that he was laying next to you before continuing again at an even more brutal pace.

"fuck!" you can't help but yelp, one of your hands finding one of donghyun's, as his fingers move at almost mind-numbing speeds.

"i told you someone needed to fuck the attitude out of you. now look what you've done to yourself," he crowed almost condescendingly. if you weren't so blinded by the sheer pleasure of his fingers, you'd probably cuss him out.

"fuck, fuck, fuck! fuck donghyun i think i'm gonna cum!" you cried out.donghyun simply nodded at you, and you took that as a sign to cum. but just as you start to feel yourself topple over the edge of the cliff you were standing on into the pit of pleasure, donghyun rips your pleasure away from you.

he pulled his fingers out of your pussy, watching you squirm and convulse as your hips bucked pathetically, searching for some way to taste the pleasure you were so close to attaining.

"baby doll, you should've known better than to assume that i'd let you cum for the first time on my fingers rather than my cock," donghyun preened mockingly, kicking his own jeans off in the same motion as his briefs.

"fuck you, donghyun." it was all you managed to conjure up through your tears as you tried to catch your breath, only to have to wind knocked out of you once more when you caught sight of donghyun's cock.

"oh hell no, that's not going inside my pussy," you gasped, and donghyun smiled despite himself, and ran his fingers over your hair gently.

"it's big but that's why i prepped you so much, isn't it?" his tone makes it clear that there's no real question in his words. you were the one who'd said you wanted to be fucked stupid. donghyun was the one to make good on that wish.

"just go slow," you grumbled and donghyun nodded, lining up at your entrance carefully.

"can't promise that i'll go slow for too long - fuck!" donghyun cut himself off as he slipped the tip of his dick into your hot core and immediately, both of you let out a groan.

if just his tip was enough to make you feel a stretch after he ate you out and fingered you, you had no idea how you were going to fit the rest of him inside you.

if just the entrance of your pussy was enough to have donghyun's head spinning, he had no idea how he was going to fit the rest of him inside you without immediately coming.

he slid in slowly, forearms resting on either side of your face for stability, that stupid gold chain smacking you in the face with his every slight movement.

it would feel degrading if you weren't turned on beyond belief, you were pretty sure.

"god," you let out softly and donghyun couldn't help but agree as he sheathed himself completely inside you. if donghyun would be allowed to see the pearly gates of heaven, he was vaguely sure that it would feel a lot like this.

"tell me when i can move," he grit out, exercising his self-control to the fullest he's ever had to.

"you can move," you whimpered, equally close to losing your mind.

he pulled out so that just the tip was in your pussy before snapping his hips forward, knocking the breath out of you with the motion. he continued that agonizingly slow  until both of you got fed up, and finally picked up the pace.

"your pussy is perfect, you know that?" he growled, fucking into you with fluid and quick motions that make you feel as though you've established permanent residence on cloud nine.

"you're not too bad yourself," you huffed out and a short breath leaves donghyun as his movements grow harsher.

"clearly i'm not doing a good job of fucking you stupid if you can respond to me," he said.

he made good on his promise that night, fucking into you deep and rough until you both came in a symphony of moans, chests heaving as he collapsed next to you, utterly spent.

maybe if you'd said something other than what you did in that moment, things wouldn't have turned out this way. but the reality was that it was those words that ultimately dug you into your grave.

you finally spoke some ten minutes later, when your brain wasn't so fuzzy you didn't know where to pick words from.

"i wish you weren't so fucking perfect, donghyun. i just can't...just forget this happened. please. it's not like we're going to get into a relationship because of this. and i don't want to face our friends right now. so just forget any of this happened."

you'd gathered your clothes and dashed out of his apartment, the buzz from earlier in the night completely gone, along with any chance of donghyun ever figuring out why from that day onwards, you'd started completely avoiding your friends and your past, running towards a future you so desperately wanted to grasp, even if you didn't know how to.

and as he fell back against his sheets, facing the ceiling, donghyun realized just one thing: something in you had changed. but was it for the better or for the worse?

+++

dongmin lets out a low whistle, followed by a crinkle of his nose.

"you could've let out the explicit details, you know," he bemoans, pressing his hands over his ears, as though he could reverse time and delete the story you'd revealed to him from his mind by doing so.

"you said you wanted to the whole truth on why i was being so bitchy to dongmin," you point out and dongmin inclines his head towards you, pulling his knees a little closer to his chest.

"you were kinda unnecessarily bitchy, though, you have to admit. but what i really asked was why donghyun decided to go all black knight on you, to which i still haven't received a proper explanation.," dongmin corrects and you shrug, accepting the packet of gummy bears that dongmin had produced from his back pocket.

in freshman year, you'd become infamous for chasing your shots of vodka (the only alcohol you chose to drink, other than whiskey) with candy and ever since then, at least one of your friends would always carry a packet of some sort of sweet candy on them for you.

"you brought gummy bears for me?" you ask, touched as you rip the packet open, the perfect level of fuzziness buzzing through your head.

"sungho brought gummy bears for you," dongmin says softly and you look at him surprisedly. "when i told him you were coming to jaehyun's party, he told me that he needed to be prepared. they all miss hanging out with you and going out with you, you know."

"they miss hanging out with who i used to be. i don't think that they'd want to hang out with me now," you snort and dongmin immediately slaps your knee, shaking his head.

"you've gotta stop doing that."

"doing what?"

"doing the whole 'woe is me' act when you just grew up. we all grew up, y/n. maybe you haven't seen it because you've been so busy in your own world, trying to make up for the past but we've all grown up right besides you," dongmin rants, getting up from where he was sitting on your balcony, starting to pace back and forth.

"when you pulled away from us, you know how confused we all were? it was like one day, you were laughing and making jokes with us and the next day, you suddenly hated us. you stopped coming to our hangouts, stopped initiating plans, fuck, you didn't even come to sungho's birthday last year!

"we thought that we did something to piss you off. we interrogated donghyun for weeks but he was just as confused as the rest of us. and then i realized just how lonely you were by yourself. you think i didn't notice how you'd watch us hangout in the library without you? about how you left that stupid neck pillow for sanghyeok when you saw him staying up late studying? or when you paid for jaehyun's coffee when you knew he was having a bad day?

"i was the only one who saw all that. so when everyone asked me when i didn't drop you like you dropped us, i didn't know how to explain that you didn't drop us, but you were just going the wrong way about chasing after your future. i didn't want to out you and make you feel as though you needed to stop taking care of everyone behind their backs because i still wanted you to be with us.

"we all cared about you so much. that's why i've been here the whole time. i've been the only one in front of you but the same way that you've been taking care of everyone else, everyone has been taking care of you. who do you think lends me his car whenever i need to come to your place because you're having a bad day and need a shoulder to cry on? sanghyeok. who always keeps the pantry stocked with your favorite snacks in case you might come around one day? sungho.

"who always points out clothing whenever we go shopping and says 'y/n would love this shirt!', just to get upset when he realized you weren't there to respond? jaehyun. who would always nudge me to go and check on you because he was worried that you were putting too much stress on yourself? donghyun. even jihyo and jayoon ask about you and keep asking us if maybe you'd come over more often since there were more girls hanging out with us now.

"i'm not telling you all this because i want you to feel bad. i just needed to tell you because we've all been caring about you this whole time but you've just never let us in, when we've been knocking at the door, just waiting for you to finally open the door. and you just won't because you're so scared of coming back to us!" his chest is heaving at the end of his rant and you can't help it, leaping to your feet as you let your voice grow louder and louder, scratchy with emotion.

"i am scared dongmin! i'm so fucking scared, i can't even think straight! i miss all of you so much and i'm so scared that i'll fall into the trap of loving you all so much that that's all i spend my time doing and i'll neglect all of the hard work i've been putting in for so long to reverse the mistakes of my past!" you scream and dongmin steps even closer, clearly not backing down from this fight.

"and what kind of future are you going to have when you turn around and see that we've all moved on without you? i can't fucking move on without you because you're like my sister; i can't imagine a life without you but what about everyone else? how long do you think everyone's gonna be waiting for you?"

"i didn't ask them to wait for me!" you shout and dongmin runs his hand through his hair frustratedly, turning so that you wouldn't see the anger on his face.

"BUT THEY DID! THEY ALL DID! they all waited for you because they - we all love you, you stubborn piece of shit! all you had to do was tell us you were feeling this way! all you had to fucking do was talk to us and ask for help. but you pushed us away when you needed us most and now look!" dongmin points at the empty space around you, forcing himself to overlook your watery eyes. "look at who's here besides me? you know jaehyun would've wrapped you in a hug, that sungho would've immediately offered to study with you. that sanghyeok would've stayed up with you, even if he didn't need to. that i would sneak food into the library with you! that donghyun would literally sit down and tutor you if you needed him to."

he swallows when you finally break down, sobs wracking your body as your fists clench into balls at your sides, stubbornly refusing to take the one step you would need to for dongmin to wrap you into a safe hug, like the ones that jaehyun always gave you.

but it's okay, because dongmin takes that step for you, wrapping you in a tight hug that makes you finally feel like you can take a breath through the tears that feel like are choking you from inside out.

"i just wanted to be good enough for all of you. i wanted to come back when i was good enough and i thought i could be someone everyone wanted to be around if i was good enough," you sob and dongmin can feel his heart break as his embrace grows tighter.

"you're good enough the way that you are, y/n. you know how much you've inspired everyone? i've even started studying for tests the day before the test, instead of the hour before!" dongmin exclaims, feeling a little more relaxed when he hears you laugh through your sobs.

"that's not much better," you warble and dongmin just shrugs, never letting go of you.

"it's better than the hour before the test."

"dongmin? for the record, i don't think that i'm the only one who grew up. i know that everyone grew up. i just..."

"i know."

"i wish you were my actual brother."

"if i was your actual brother, i probably would've spit on you by now."

"what the hell."

+++

you wait nervously in dongmin's room as you hear people begin to file into the apartment, a jumble of familiar voices as jihyo and jaehyun begin bickering once again about something or another.

it was just a matter of time before the two of them started dating, you figured.

dongmin was betting on three weeks and you were betting on three months. something about the slow-burn of it all was appealing to you. dongmin insisted that fanfiction was just rotting your brain.

you let out a breath of air and dongmin flicks you on the side of your head, and you fix him with a mean glare as you rub the spot that he'd hit.

"they're just your friends, y/n. you don't need to be that nervous. you've been looking forward to this all week," he reminds you and you just nod, still rubbing the spot.

after the emotional conversation/argument with dongmin last week, you'd asked to come to the next movie night, wanting to start spending more time with your friends. and although you knew that it wouldn't be the exact same as it once was, it would never be and that was a good thing.

balance was a good thing.

"dongmin? where are you, motherfucker? i can't believe you made me buy you three different types of sour gummies, fatass!" you hear sanghyeok yell from the other room and dongmin takes this as his cue to drag you into the room with him.

"i only wanted one type. y/n wanted the other two. still wanna call me a fatass?"

dongmin doesn't get an answer to his question because no sooner has he said the words do jihyo and jaehyun bound over to you (not looking too much unlike juno) and wrapping you into nearly bone-crushing hugs.

"dongmin told us that you were going to be more available to hang out with us more and more and these two - " sungho cuts himself off to grab jaehyun by the scruff and jihyo by the collar of her shirt. " - have been a little too excited since he said so."

"we've missed you so much!" jihyo exclaims.

"you saw her last week," jaehyun mutters, groaning when jihyo smacks him upside the head.

"so did you but that didn't stop you either, now did it?"

"you're such a little bi - "

"alright. let's stop while we're ahead and just be happy that y/n's back with us, how about that?" dongmin proposes, the voice of reason for once in his life. jihyo and jaehyun exchange a dirty look (albeit, a very childish one) before the two of them sit down, leaving just you and dongmin standing awkwardly, as though you were about to give a presentation.

"uh. thanks for having me back guys. i kinda don't know what to say other than the fact that i'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. i struggled with hanging out with you guys and balancing a good gpa on top of that so i made some really stupid choices but i promise that i won't hide those stupid choices from you guys anymore. i just - i've just really missed you guys." your little speech clearly moves more than one person to tears but before jaehyun can try to deliver death by hug once more, sanghyeok claps his hands, pulling up some streaming platform or another on the television.

"thanks for that touching speech, y/n. now if you could get the fuck out of the way, we need to vote on a movie. your vote only counts as half a vote since you've missed more than two movie nights but you're welcome to rally for full membership after attendance of two more movie nights," sanghyeok announces and you roll your eyes, before looking for a spot.

dongmin's caught up in some conversation about that girl from your class with jayoon (undoubtedly doing some background research; as if he could find out anything that would make him actually keep it in his pants) and everyone else's spot is taken, leaving just an empty space next to donghyun.

i'm a big girl. i don't need to sit next to dongmin for everything. donghyun is still your friend at the end of the day. that you fucked. and was the last time that you had sex. and was also the best sex you'd ever had. but just a friend! haha. just a friend.

not the best dialogue to be running through one's mind during their re-debut into civil society (read: friend group) but you manage to divert your mind before it delves into dangerous territory.

"we're still friends," donghyun murmurs from beside you and you turn, despite your common sense telling you otherwise, to see him looking at you with the most genuine and twinkly eyes that you have to swallow and force yourself to turn once more to face the television set.

"yeah. friends," you repeat, softer than he'd said it and you can feel his stupidly sweet gaze on the side of your face.

+++

spending more time with your friends was nothing like how you thought it would be. for starters, it turned out that your friends themselves didn't have too much time to use as expendable time to just fuck around, like you used to in freshman year.

as juniors and seniors, most of your friends were occupied with their classes and their work, as opposed to the lighter coursework in earlier years. on top of that, many of them were either in relationships or were pursuing someone (or many someones, in dongmin's case) so there was more time eaten up by that as well.

but the time that all of you did spend together was much more domestic. equally as chaotic, as you'd discovered when you'd gone grocery shopping with just jaehyun and jihyo and no adult supervision from sungho (who'd trusted you to be the adult supervision), but less shenanigans than before.

instead of finding street signs to steal off the road to stash in dorm rooms, the friendship that had developed between your friends had gotten much more real, and there were more nights that you can count where at least one of you was staying up late to finish something so the rest of you were stuck helping them.

even staying up late to finish projects was more comforting with the presence of your friends, though, and you were so grateful that you'd come back to them. that they'd accepted you with open arms.

you'd had conversations with each of them one on one at some point or another, detailing why you'd left them so abruptly and asking for forgiveness but more often than not, you'd just gotten scolded for ever thinking that they wouldn't give you a chance to explain yourself.

"you were such a good friend to us for so long," sanghyeok had said. "you don't think we would just drop you when you're going through a rough patch, right?"

of course, that had led to another round of tears (which jayoon witnessed and went ham on sanghyeok for making you cry, which made you cry even harder because god, what country had sanghyeok saved for such an amazing girlfriend) but that was besides the point.

in fact, you'd made amends with pretty much everyone except for donghyun. you could see him waiting for you - waiting for you to reach out to him and explain yourself like you'd done so with everyone else, but for some reason, you just couldn't.

partly out of guilt, but also partly out of shame. you just couldn't help but avoid him.

it was easy to do so when it was all of you, since you could always rely on dongmin and sanghyeok to keep your attention otherwise occupied. but when it was just the two of you, after everyone has left the library to do things other than study for their innumerable tests, you can always feel the apology bubbling in your chest, threatening to break free.

but it never does. it never does and you know you're going to regret it.

you didn't have romantic feelings for donghyun, no. but he was someone that you could develop romantic feelings for and someone like that didn't deserve to think that you just hated him for no reason. because just going off of what had happened last year, donghyun really had no reason to think that you felt any emotion towards him other than hatred. and your actions prior to making amends with your friends didn't do much to dissuade that thought either.

which is why you didn't understand why he was still treating you with so much kindness. you were fairly sure that he wasn't head over heels in love with you or anything (especially since he's also had a good many girlfriends ever since your encounter) but you also couldn't come up with any other reason for his understanding.

he'd been the first one out of everyone to come and actually talk to you, four months ago in that study room, even at the risk of you pushing him away once more. he was the one that was most likely to be pushed away and he still looked after you, cared for you, and worried for you.

"you don't have feelings for me, do you?" you blurt out, immediately slapping a palm over your own mouth. donghyun looks up from the tablet his taking notes on with furrowed eyebrows.

"what?" he asks incredulously and you furiously shake your head, looking rather comical with your hand still covering your mouth.

"nothing. forget i said anything." you wince as you look back down at your book, ensuring that the references lined up with direct quotations as you mentally bash yourself. stupid, stupid, stupid. so you won't say that you're sorry but you'll do this? just be grateful no one else is here to see this catastrophe.

"i don't have feelings for you," he clarifies and you nod, unable to meet his eyes. of course he didn't have feelings for you. that would be so dumb. when you didn't have feelings for him, why should he have feelings for you? right?

so why did your heart just feel the tiniest bit tight in your chest?

"i don't have feelings for you but i used to search for you in every single party. even before we...we did whatever we did that night. i used to always look for you first. and i always used feel so happy just looking at you smile," he says. you look up, confused by his statement now. donghyun's looking right at you with those horribly confusing, glittery eyes and you feel your breath catch in your throat for a split second.

"what?"

"i said i don't have feelings for you. but when you pulled away from all of us, i just couldn't help but think if i did something wrong. if i did something to push you away. and i realized that i would rather have you hate me, i would rather have you push me away every time i come close, or even use me to vent your stress however you need rather than have you walk away once and for all," he continues and you feel that same tightness in your chest as he speaks, heat rising up your spine as it sits uncomfortably in your cheeks.

"i just wish you'd stayed that night. i could've convinced you to tell me all your fears and all your worries and i could've just gotten rid of them for you instead of you holding onto them for so long in your own mind," he finishes and you sit there in silence, unable to piece together any thoughts.

"so, uh, you don't have any feelings for me?" you confirm and donghyun rolls his eyes, and for just a split-second you see the dangerous glint that you remember from that night.

"you're an english lit major and you can't tell that i'm telling you that i have feelings for you?" donghyun teases and you just stare at him dumbly.

"i thought you said that you didn't have feelings?"

"and you said that you hated me."

"i don't hate you."

"i know."

and that's all the confirmation you need to spring forward from your seat, pressing a kiss to donghyun's lips. just as soft and as perfect as you'd remembered.

he reaches forward to cup your cheek, molding his lips against yours gently as you try to pour every single emotion you can into a single kiss.

"i don't hate you," you whisper, leaning your forehead against his, still standing up somewhat awkwardly due to the desk in between the two of you.

"i know," he repeats. "and i know that you don't feel the same way as i do. not as strongly as i do, at least. and i just want you to know that i'll wait."

"you'll wait for me?" you assure and donghyun nods, his hand reaching up to pat your head gently.

"i'll wait for you to take me back as a friend first and then we can figure out the rest."

"what if i'm never ready to put a label on our relationship?"

"then i'll just be here with you. i don't need a label for my feelings."

+++

it's not perfect. for all his perfection, donghyun kim had heaps of flaws. he was surprisingly 'needy' and felt anxious when you weren't with him for extended periods of time.

and when jaehyun, sanghyeok, and sungho graduated, you realized that it extended to far more than just you. for someone so stoic and poised, it turned out that donghyun was extremely soft-hearted and could care for nothing more than to have his loved ones around him for as long as he could hold onto them for.

it proved to be a little difficult, given that after your departure from your friend group, you'd gotten used to a certain level of independence and affinity for your own personal space that donghyun just didn't understand sometimes. but the two of you worked on it, because you loved each other even as just friends too much to not work on it.

there'd been points where you were sure that the two of you would just have to be friends and move on with life because of how hard it all was. you could never let go of donghyun fully; all of you were just too great of friends to ever be able to keep out of each other's lives completely.

but all's well that ends well, and you and donghyun learned to work through those issues. your affinity for running away when things got rough and donghyun's tendency to latch on harder every time you guys faced an issue was something that took months of serious discussion and communication to get through.

dongmin was the mediator more than once whenever the two of you got into arguments (you exploding at donghyun and donghyun just sitting quietly, making you even more upset before the two of you calmed down and worked things out) and it helped to have him around.

the one good thing was that your relationship, however imperfect it was, spurred dongmin to start to settle down and look for a girlfriend himself.

much to your happiness, and dongmin's chagrin, there weren't many girls on campus willing to date someone with such a reputation but that just meant that dongmin put in more effort to convince them that he was a changed man.

it was a good look on him, you'd told donghyun one day. dongmin suited having someone in his life that he had to work to please and someone who liked him regardless of his clumsy attempts at love and cared for him fully.

the three (four, when dongmin met his girlfriend) of you stuck together throughout the rest of college. there were still uncountable numbers of allnighters trying to make sure that you were maintaining your grades but it turns out, you could balance both having fun and being academically strong.

you could spend time with your friends and your boyfriend without having to worry about whether you'd be able to secure a job after college because of your gpa. it was nice, not feeling like there was a huge demon breathing down your neck every time you needed to sit down and study.

it'd taken you a long time to get there, but like all good things, with the help of your loved ones and with some self-work, you developed a healthy relationship with studying and a work-life balance.

oh! and you did end up getting a job. your dream job. right out of college. everyone had been so proud, just like you knew they'd be.

and just like that, years had passed by in the blink of an eye.

the five of you made it a point to reunite at least twice a year, since most of you were in the same country (other than sanghyeok and jayoon, who'd relocated back to south korea to take care of their parents after they got married). even five to six years later, when all of you were reaching the end of your twenties and entering the next phase of life, nothing changed.

"JAEHYUN MYUNG, IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME BACK THE TV REMOTE!" jihyo screams from downstairs, and you hear loud footsteps as jaehyun undoubtedly keeps the remote withheld from her.

"i can't believe they're the parents to two children," you snort, blowing on your nails to dry them quicker.

"i can. all that fighting energy has to go somewhere," donghyun retorts and you roll your eyes. he had a point.

"you've got a point. we've been on vacation for three days and they're already in their fourth argument. well. i guess it's just flirting to them," you contemplate, extending your hand to examine your handiwork.

"you thought that fighting was flirting back in college too," donghyun reminds you and you shake your head, looking at donghyun. and just like usual, he's already looking at you, head tucked into his fist as he lies on the bed that the two of you had slept in together for the past five years (vacation was hosted by your family this year).

"it clearly worked on you," you fire back and donghyun smiles a giddy smile.

"you're my weakness. anything you give me works on me," he says in a lovestruck voice and the laugh that escapes you is a real, full-bellied one.

"god. you're such a dork; i love you so much," you sigh, getting up and walking over to where he's lying, climbing onto the bed to wrap your arms around him.

"yeah? wanna channel our energy into making a few babies?" he teases with a greasy tone of voice and squiggly eyebrows.

"you're incorrigible."

"you love it."

"i love it," you agree, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to his lips. you'd liked the darker sides of donghyun and there would always be a side of you that got giddy whenever you saw that side of him.

but you'd always love this more. soft, reassuring, and unconditional love. from him to you and you to him. neither of you needed perfection. you just needed each other. husband and wife. you didn't need those labels, and you'd believed donghyun when he said that he didn't need them for his love either. but it was nice, having everyone know that you had each other for life.

"ARE YOU WHORES COMING OR NOT? WE'RE GONNA START WATCHING WITHOUT YOU!" dongmin yells from downstairs, and you can vaguely hear his fiancée slapping him on the chest and knowing her, she was definitely telling him to shut up and let the two of you make her a niece or nephew.

you laugh, grabbing your husband's hand and leading him downstairs to plop down next to your friends. someone shoves a bucket of popcorn into your arms and you realize how grateful you were for all of the people in your life.

and how glad you were that you'd decided to forge a new path for yourself with your loved ones and with your newfound confidence in yourself.

love and life are always easier with friends and family, after all.

[rocknrollsalad]

rating: gen cw: drinking/getting drunk, high society expectations, cranky steve and robin, period typical homophobia tags: no upside down au, rich kid steve au, steddie and Buckingham double date, chirstmas parties, Eddie learns whats in eggnog word count: 2412

-

written for the steddiemas prompt "eggnog" but it's a good week late, another victim of the plague I caught lol

“You better go collect your man,” Robin whispered, having appeared out of nowhere.

Steve hissed, “Stop calling him that.”

His eyes darted around the room, both to make sure he wasn’t heard. Robin was right, he hadn’t seen his boyfriend (who was definitely not his date tonight) in a while. Probably not a good sign.

“Well he is,” she scoffed.

“You are supposed to be my date, that’s the cover story. For you and for me. Doesn’t really work if you go around talking about how I really brought Eddie.”

It shut Robin up for a second, just long enough for Steve to enjoy the victory, before she said, “Tell your parents to stop being so uptight.”

Except the counter to that was the same as it always was. “And yours are so cool about it.”

Probably not the round and round Robin wanted when she walked up here on some high horse. One she had no business climbing on. She knew Steve was always a little extra stressed at these stupid dinner parties and that tonight was going to be worse. Instead of being supportive, it was almost like she was trying to sabotage things.

They could talk about it later. Right now, Steve apparently had to go find Eddie because there was no way Robin was saying that for fun. He was doing something. Probably making a run for it…which was smart. Steve could, at least, show him the best escape routes and let him know he didn’t take it personally.

Especially because it was a lot harder for Steve to make that run for it anymore. Ever since they’d brought him in from the kiddie room (which was actually the garage), his moves were tracked. Sure he wasn’t sharing one sad, toppingless pizza with a bunch of kids he didn’t know anymore but at what cost? At least the garage had video games…and no one talking about investments or how he should have gone to college.

Steve went off to find out what was going on with Eddie. Robin, in her endless helpfulness, decided to stay put and give no direction. It left Steve to go from room to room, asking everyone he could. No one had seen him. Something that was maybe a good thing? This meant he wasn’t standing on expensive furniture telling some amazing and elaborate story that would be wasted on these stuffy assholes.

Things got so desperate, Steve asked his mom if she’d seen Eddie. She always knew everything that was happening at these parties. Yet she hadn’t seen him. It seemed unlikely and a quick segue into tired reminders to not cause a scene. This one came with the bonus lecture of not ignoring his date because “no respectable woman is sidelined for a friend, dear.”

And nothing proved more that Steve’s mom didn’t see everything. Not only would he and Robin stick by each other through anything, she wasn’t even his actual date. Though, Steve did have to admit the only people in the world who believed they weren’t dating were them. Probably Chrissy and Eddie but sometimes Steve wasn’t so sure.

Moving on from his mom before he got roped into some mind-numbingly boring discussion, Steve ran into Chrissy. She was Eddie’s date who was really Robin’s date and had been folded into the group shenanigans. Which meant Steve was so ready to drag her into this quest. If he couldn’t have Robin, he could at least have help.

“We’ve lost your date,” Steve sighed, trying not to freak out yet.

“What do you mean?” she asked, instantly jumping to freaking out.

Steve linked their arms together and continued walking on, trying to think of where else he’d hide out. “Robin came up to me and told me to go collect my man. I thought he was doing something embarrassing but, like, I can’t find him. Do you think he’d leave?”

“No,” she cooed. “He’s been so worried about this night, there’s no way he’d leave you. He wouldn’t.”

Something that would have been so much more flattering if Steve had any fucking clue where the guy was.

“The garage!” Steve said, realizing the one place he hadn’t looked.

Chrissy didn’t say anything, just picked up her pace and they sped off toward the kiddie party. Of course. it was in the detached garage. Heaven forbid the kids breathed in the others, dad’s cars would lower in value at the mere thought.

So they barged through the door and onto the familiar path, still arm and arm, laser-focused on the only place it made sense for Eddie to be.

Before the door closed behind them, the soft exclamation of “Steve” was sung out and Chrissy and Steve both leaped into the grass, barely holding back screams as the voice startled them.

Steve easily moved Chrissy behind him as they both looked for the source of the voice, rather than some creepy old guy or party crasher, it was the exact person they were looking for. Both of them let out a matching, but quiet, exclamation for finding Eddie.

He was sat on a stone bench, leaning against the house, and smoking. Not only was he well hidden by shrubbery but Steve had expected to find him indoors. He needed that last glimmer of hope that Eddie was still at the party. And he hadn’t exactly left so that was…something?

“Hey man,” Eddie drawled out.

Steve’s eyes narrowed but he turned to make sure Chrissy was stable and had recovered from the little fright neither of them was going to speak about.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Chrissy said.

Resigning to her point, Steve nodded and went for the “what she said” shrug.

“I’ve been ri-ight here, baby.”

“He’s drunk,” Chrissy and Steve whispered to each other.

“Oh no!” Eddie cried out, dropping his head back. “Who told you?”

“I think you did, champ,” Chrissy laughed.

This probably wasn’t great. Steve went into panic mode immediately, ideas on what to do next sped through his mind followed by the consequences of each. A drunk Eddie was less likely to keep up the ruse, one he and Robin had organized so carefully.

It wasn’t time to come out, yet. Steve knew that time was rapidly approaching. Each and every day he had to lie about who he was with or what he was doing was another stab in the chest but at The Harrington Christmas Soiree? That was not the time. If they could just get into the new year, Steve would come clean, and probably get disowned, but at least it wouldn’t go down for “trying to steal the spotlight”.

Chrissy rubbed her hand between Steve’s shoulder blades. He had to be thinking awfully loudly right now. Where was Robin when he really needed her?

“I didn’t mean to,” Eddie pouted.

Steve watched Eddie pat around the bench and his own clothes, looking for his lighter. It was such a distinct move but it brought in this creeping feeling of normalcy with it. They’d done this before. Both drunk and sober.

As he had many times before, Steve reached into his pocket and got his lighter. Once he was close enough, he shielded the flame so Eddie could re-light his cigarette. Which he did with ease. The smoke billowed from Eddie and cleared both of their heads.

“How’s that work, though?” Steve asked. He then turned to Chrissy and leaned in a bit. “Could you go find Robin, remind her not to gloat, and maybe get a glass of water? In that order of importance.”

“She’s not going to gloat,” Chrissy said but it’s already an apology. They both know the truth. It’s part of Robin’s charm but it’s always extra annoying in moments like these.

“That’s the spirit, let's hope for Christmas miracles.”

They share a giggle that they’ve earned by being as close to Robin as they are and Chrissy disappeared back inside. Steve sat down next to Eddie and moved his hand so Steve could take a quick drag off the cigarette. He’s going to need it…or some of whatever Eddie had.

“Alright, what’s the story then?”

“Have you ever had eggnog,” Eddie asked. A question that feels wildly off topic but, again, he’s a little drunk so a coherent sentence is a great start.

“Yeah, it’s disgusting.”

“No-ooooooooo. No. Look, listen, I mean. It’s not. You’re wrong. Wayne makes it all the time,” Eddie leaned in closer, a hand cupped over his mouth as he whispered. “Every year.”

“Yeah, my parents do too. It’s nasty. The one in the punch bowl is the one you want.”

“Au contraire, that one has alcohol in it and I’m supposed to behave,” Eddie has his finger raised, wagging in the air like a cartoon teaching valuable life lessons.

“And so’s the eggnog.”

“Mmmmmm, no. I think I’d know that.”

“I…actually, yeah. I’d have thought you knew that too. Wait, so how– you know you’re drunk now, right?”

“Yeah but, ya know, we’re not telling Steve. He’s going to make me sleep on the couch for a whole week.”

“Sure,” Steve pressed his lips together and nodded. This was ridiculous and he kind of wished Eddie was just giving some rambunctious nerd speech. “But how’d you get drunk then?”

“Sabotage, obviously. The Harrington’s don’t want the heir to their throne with a commoner like me.”

“So they spiked your drink?”

“Totally.”

“Somehow complimentary you think they’d waste liquor on that,” Steve shrugged and he snatched Eddie’s pack of cigarettes to light one for himself.

“So it was Robin!”

“More believable actually. No, it was the eggnog.”

“There’s not alcohol in eggnog, Wayne wouldn’t give me it if there was.”

“Because you have to put it in, which my parents do.”

In a different situation, this would be funny. Steve might even find a way to laugh about it later but the guilt simmering in his chest for not teaching Eddie about which drinks had liquor is too strong to enjoy the laughable way his boyfriend accidentally got drunk.

All the solutions Steve had run through didn’t fit the situation anymore. They were likely both going to have to leave. Or worse, Eddie and Chrissy were and that’d ruin so many people’s nights.

Before he could think of a way to save everyone’s good time, Chrissy returned. Robin right behind her. Steve quickly stamped out the cigarette like Robin wouldn’t see and stood to talk to them.

He filled them in on the whole eggnog situation. It earned the appropriate level of laughter but once it subsided, they started trying to actually solve the problem. Eddie sat content on the bench, watching them adoringly as they worked out his fate. Steve had to give it to him, he was a very happy drunk.

“Hey, psst, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” Eddie said as they were finalizing some plans to get him upstairs to Steve’s room and full of coffee.

“Oh my god,” Robin said, trying to shut him up.

Steve walked over, leaning into his space so he wasn’t towering over him. “Yeah, man. What’s up?”

“I just need you to know-”

“Oh boy.”

“I came in with a smoking hot blonde but she’s not really my date.”

With all the patience in his body, Steve let out a sigh that was every bitchy comeback he had rolled into one sound, and said “Yup.”

“You’re way better.”

“You didn’t even commit to that. At least hit on me. Ugh. Can you just be cool for like two more minutes?”

“Cool? Yeah? Yeah! I can be cool for so many minutes. Two, ten, six, eighty. I’m good at it.”

“You’re not, so we better do something quick.”

“We should fool around is what we should do. This place has to have so many rooms. I didn’t even peek in half of them.”

Steve turned around and looked at the girls, “I think we gotta leave.”

“You can’t leave your own family Christmas party,” Robin said.

“I’ve done it so many times. Chrissy and Eddie have to go because Eddie’s sick. You and me can work something else out.”

Eddie stood up and leaned on Steve. “You should have some of that eggnog. I guess they make it with alcohol here.”

“Will you stop acting like we don’t know each other!” Steve scrubbed his hand over his face.

Robin sucked her teeth, “Might be for the best, he won’t blow anyone’s cover that way.”

“But he’s being so obnoxious about it,” Steve groaned.

“Good thing he’s the only one being obnoxious,” Robin said, crossing her arms over her chest.

A pose Steve mirrored, “What do you suggest then?”

“Let him sleep it off. He’s right, there’s plenty of rooms here and all we have to do is tell the truth for once. He didn’t know there was alcohol in the eggnog.”

“I didn’t know. I gotta tell Wayne though, it’s way better this way.”

“Who doesn’t know,” Steve groaned. Not frustrated at Eddie for not knowing, not really, but stressed out by the situation and that had to go somewhere.

“What if,” Chrissy said with her shoulders pulled up to her ears. The meek injection spoke to her nervousness but she got everyone’s attention. “We joined Eddie?”

Eddie, who was draped on Steve’s back with an arm over his shoulder and idly rubbing Steve’s chest, hummed in approval. The comfort of Eddie’s weight had Steve forgetting everything they were supposed to be hiding as he melted into the comfort and contact.

Still, he and Robin voiced matching sounds of confusion.

“It’s not embarrassing if the ‘kids’ got drunk. It’s our first time here, they almost expect us to overdo it so…let’s overdo it. Eddie won’t be the one who didn’t know this or that, we’ll all just be young adults doing what’s expected of us.”

Steve pondered the plan. “We couldn’t go wild.”

“It’s not a frat house,” Robin said for Chrissy.

Eddie gave a soft “Yeah” that Steve knew was meant to mock Robin but came out like agreement.

“It could work.”

“It could be fun!” Chrissy cooed, jumping up and down a few times. Maybe they all needed to take the edge off here.

The hand that was on Steve’s chest now held his cheek as Eddie kissed the other one.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go have some fun,” Steve groaned, doing his best to act like he hated this.

“Finally!”

[hotcat37]

Gig report for Brussels 🇧🇪🔥

-just.....wow

-okay so first, the queue really wasn't as stressful as I thought it'd be. I arrived like an hour before the doors opened but it wasn't busy enough to be overwhelming!! At some point there were armed policemen walking around so that was a bit scary lol but it went smoothly so :P

-what also made the queuing so amazing was actually meeting people this time. Last year I was completely by myself both in the queue and during the concert but tonight I didn't just accidentally meet random people that I stumbled upon (who were absolutely lovely and who I vibed with so much) but also people from within the fandom <33 It was surreal to actually put a face to the usernames and to hear my own username be used lmao but it was such an amazing experience and I loooved trading gifts it was so satisfying!!

-also random but I just loved how diverse the crowd was. Older, younger, male, female, neither.....I just loved how many different kinds of people were present!!

-a bit frustrating but something I weirdly enough predicted beforehand was the show starting about 45 minutes late. The excitement was rapidly dwindling with every new song that kept playing without sight of Kä anywhere 🥲🥲 But he did apologize and as it turned out there was some kind of communication issue regarding the performing time

-that being said I completely forgot about the waiting as soon as the gig started wtf it was just so damn good!! I want to give a special thanks to everyone who was here tonight because the atmosphere was simply amazing and so comfortable!! And at least from where I was standing people were respecting personal space and going crazy during songs without constantly elbowing others haha

-Jere seemed so happy and energetic tonight :] There wasn't a lot of banter but when he did talk he said a lot of cute and funny things <3

-WE GOT URHEILUJÄTKÄ 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥 I wasn't expecting that at all and it seemed spontaneous (?) but I'm so happy I got to hear the song live <33

-Dalton and Häärijä shenanigans were very endearing as always (Jaakko in particular looked majestic btw)

-WE GOT YHTÄ VAILLA MY FAVORITE SONG I WAS TWEAKINGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣☺☺☺☺💥💥💥

-the TRAFIK moshpit was kind of scary for me cuz I got kinda dragged into it but even though it was horrifying to have people jumping around so close to me I thankfully didn't get elbowed and everything seemed pretty safe :)

-it was boiling hot in there btw ugh I was fucking melting and sweating my metaphorical nuts off 😩

-shout-out to the person in front of me with the sign "I'm Tommy Cash" lmao I wish Kä would've noticed it was very cute 😂❤

Yeah, I dunno, it was just such a fantastic night. I didn't think it'd be that great queuing since it was in Brussels (no offense to folks that live in Brussels lmao but I find it a deeply unpleasant city) but this concert to me was honestly even better than the one in Antwerpen last year :"D And that one was already excellent too. Also shout out to everyone that brought party poppers and glowsticks and stickers and balloons to play with ❤❤ It really helped contribute to the great atmosphere 🥰💚

[mortish-writes]

I gotta say I'm interested in how you are going to write the pregnancy and baby plot lines down the line as while you did say your going to take the birth givers personal perspective, I'm excited to see how far this rabbit hole goes. Most romance books I've seen (there's probably good pregnancy romance books out there but I haven't found it.) Either goes three ways.

One way: Wow lover of mine we are so in love that we must make a physical representation of our joy and love! Then boom mc is pregnant and goodbye character development because wow this baby is so cute and mc your a mom now so forget your hobbies and interests and anything that makes you interesting to read your a mom!

Two: Some time shenanigans later MC meets her future child or the children are magical toddlers or some combination of both.

Three: Mc or love interest is already a parent just widow so they already done the hardest part of feelings that come with pregnancy so MC is either heavily pregnant around the times she is ready to go to labor or already got three kids running around and male love interest is here to be the dad that step up or opposite where male love interest is sexy single father who needs a loving woman (or man because I've read gay romances) to help them care for their rebellious child making their family whole once more.

None of these options are bad but for me I hardly read the stressful and dark parts of pregnancy that are actually interesting. (I'm not a mom and don't want to have children at my own choice but I can't say I don't find stories with it interesting.) Like for example morning sickness that's not just morning sickness, or sometimes not feeling happy being pregnant, the new body changes, the stretch marks, the mood swings, the cravings and always feeling like you gotta pee, sometimes feeling helpless when before you could do things independently, etc.

Most books take away the pregnant person agency (I also read mpreg.) either for drama purposes or the fact the baby is so much more exciting so it's always sad to me because the pregnant person is more than just the baby carrier and should still have their personality and journey on their way to be more than just a mom or dad or parent.

A fourth and my personal most-hated: Oops, protagonist finds out she's accidentally pregnant and the father was a jerk to her in the last scene so she's just going to hide the pregnancy until their kid is like ten, then they're going to get back together and live happily-ever-after and guess what he's such a good dad, yay! Um, no, you all need therapy, not a second-chance romance arc.

On a serious note, pregnancy can be a really harrowing experience and a lot of people don't talk about it. I attended a weekly expectant mother's group and it was just an hour of us talking about birth defects, career anxieties, and all the ways our babies might die. I think a lot of that gets cut out of romance novels because it's just a little too real and can detract from the overall romantic vibe of the story. I intend to touch on the darker aspects, but probably not in gritty detail.

The main aspects I intend to explore in Bride of Shadows, at least in regards to pregnancy, is how the MC can learn to love a child that she didn't necessarily want and is growing in a body that isn't technically her own, as well as how her pregnancy and impending parenthood affect her partners. There will still be a lot of other stuff going on, but it will definitely color the narrative going forward once everyone finds out.

[flownwrong]

dS rewatch shenanigans

So me and @mannequin3thereckoning rewatched 2.04 Bird in the Hand, 3.02 Eclipse and 4.03 The Ladies' Man (or 4.05, depending on the region; I like this ordering of the episodes better, it makes the season more equally paced to me). Somehow we picked a nice equal distribution between seasons 2-4 (sorry s1, I just did not have that much free time!)

It was fun to compare the impressions between us, a person who's fresh off a rewatch and one who didn't touch dS for some years :) Unlike my rigorous friend, I don't have it in me to do a separate post for each episode. It's all pretty chaotic, but here goes:

Bird in the Hand

It was funny to notice how much easier it is to judge the pacing of an episode while also chatting about it in real time compared to a regular watch. This one is pretty much perfect!

It's a great showcase for the side of Fraser that sometimes gets lost between screen and fic, or screen and meta—his lowkey permanent annoyance with his circumstances ("I'm not sulky. I don't sulk," he said. You know, like a liar!) and his masterfully contained intense anger. It's so funny how annoyed he gets with Turnbull! Finally, someone at the consulate who gets more shit than he does haha.

Also another great example of Ray consistently ready to both stir up shit and take shit for Fraser in a highly stressful situation where Fraser's hands are tied. “He’d shoot him for you if you asked"—even Dad knows <3 Linking this wonderful art to express my endless appreciation for how well-oiled Ray and Fraser's banter is. No one does put upon like Ray Vecchio. No one.

And, I mean, the emotional centerpiece of the episode is BRILLIANT. The tone balances on the usual dS edge between wacky and weighty juuust right for juuuuust long enough via Ghost Dad, and then it cannonballs right into heartbreaking because of the Ghost Dad in the span of two lines, sustains it for one of the most effective conversations in all of dS and eases out of it by—you guessed it—Ghost Dad diffusing the tension with continuous murderous overtures.

And I think Fraser's ✨Plan✨ in this one is a rare example of his speechifying that actually bares his underbelly as opposed to only expressing his beliefs illustrated by his experiences. He's very self-aware: he says to his father, "I'm no better", I, too, can't ask for help, I, too, can't express my love and my hurts—and then he goes and does exactly that—and then he immediately follows it by turning the tables on everyone and going "ah, but I stunned you all with my emotional openness on purpose so I could get the upper hand in the stand-off"—but it works both ways, and it's clearly also him using the excuse to actually be vulnerable for a second. Man, Fraser is a thing to behold in this episode.

But you can actually see how far he's come since the pilot, and how his partnership with Ray affected him—it's cool that this happens only two episodes after Ray bullies him into admitting his dissatisfaction with his circumstances. And here he's expressing grief, not the anger, not the desire for revenge, but grief, out loud, to everyone. "You broke my heart." Jesus.

10/10 episode, highly recommended.

Eclipse

This episode is like a favourite well-worn hoodie to me. Apart from the iconic "Do you find me attractive?" exchange it offers so many joys.

It's funny (The "now it's broken and it's working" exchange and "Mom, how you've changed—into cuban cigars" are both beautiful moments).

There's Fraser's "I'm acquainted with loss and, on occasion, loneliness" line which is I think a great thing to learn about him early in the season both if you tuned into the show without seeing s1-2 and if you're Ray Kowalski.

There's the great Ray intro, doubly so because we already had the intro, and were even given a lot of the info there that Eclipse reinforces (like Ray's compulsive need to express his vulnerabilities in hope of protecting himself from being judged too harshly, but also his competence—even if my man should really keep those glasses on—and his ability to think on his feet and his obsessive tendencies and his soft romantic underbelly and I could go on, we learn so. much. stuff. by the point we hear Fraser's exposition on Ray's professional record we're not even surprised).

I love that Fraser is immediately comfortable with his new position of being the more emotionally stable one in the duo, haha—while Ray Vecchio had his insecurities and great moments of learning to trust himself with Fraser's help, Fraser is clearly both fascinated by Ray Kowalski's openness and ready to offer his shoulder to lean on, with an added bonus of being in less danger of being perceived while near this dude who constantly makes himself available for perception.

Random little notes: I really love how Ray says his own name with so much disappointment when introducing himself: "I'm... *frustrated sigh* Kowalski." I love how he tentatively asks Fraser to repeat "friend" after his declaration of friendship. I love that he's a dork who throws the dreamcatcher like a frisbee. I love the b-plot letting us hang out with the station gang a little and see them stand up for each other. I love the insane angle on Ray's face while he's being interrogated (see: my eyelashes gifset). I love the birthday party. I love the crypt as a setting, and I love everyone in that impromptu holding cell.

And, in the words of my wiser friend, "ray finding out his imposter syndrome was caused by a guy who doesn’t even remember him is so very ray". I take my hat off to everyone involved in making this episode.

The Ladies' Man, which I'm very glad my friend suggested, bc otherwise I probably would've forced her to watch it anyway, and I'm not a fan of such cruelty.

Let's get some things out of the way:

Ray looks incredibly good in this episode. It's a crime to look this good AND suffer prettily on top of that. The fact that the camera that was already pretty obsessed with CKR these two seasons gets, like, terminally stuck on him here does Not hurt matters.

I have some Questions for the episode, and I'll get to them, but it's my top one dS episode on a pure viewing pleasure level because it pushes my buttons.

Can't say much about the cold open because it's pretty much perfect, tight and tense and we get the Homoerotic Calling Off Your Rabid Dog Partner When He's Losing It Before He Kills Someone, which is a timeless classic (complete with the obvious and iconic Look at me! Look! At! Me!), and Ray and Fraser are perfect characters to act it out. CKR is on fire, no notes.

One moment I somehow forgot from my many previous rewatches that really struck me during this one is Fraser's almost casual admission of imagining murdering his father's murderers—thinking again about Bird in the Hand up there. It's a great reminder late in the show, where we see this aspect of him less often, and it's cool that he can safely share it in the face of Ray's rawness, you know, as opposed to it being a great and painful admission when he's the vulnerable one.

A brief interlude to shake my fists at the sky and wail Why, o Paul Gross, did you have to add the singing—it's not just that the joke didn't age well, it didn't even land at the time, and I don't think it would in any episode, but especially here???— and the bark tea flirting—which is par for the course as far as dS goes and could be cute but it feels totally disconnected from the rest of the scene, let alone the episode, so, again, ???? It's not that I wanted a mournful monotony of an episode with no laughs—I would pick a different show then—but like, I think better jokes could've been made. Like later in the episode, where during a climactic scene they drop the "actually, all that exposition makes me feel a little thirsty" line, it works.

Back to the point: Dixie Seatle is fucking amazing??? Her and CKR work so well together that all the noise of failed gags and nonsensical continuity of Ray's cover and whatnot is super easy to wave away because they're the emotional core of the episode, and they deliver. They have such a fragile thing going on, with him being exhausted from all the guilt and her also being exhausted from his guilt on top of the, you know, the whole death penalty thing.

Which, speaking of, UM, that's one of Thee Darkest Premises in the whole show and encountering it for the first time was a trip, during a season I was not a fan of and considered dropping. And yes many rewatches later I'm still confused but grateful about it all. The world in this episode is brutal in the way it rarely is in the show; integrity and redemption and whatnot are big motives in dS, and the big point is usually that the world, imperfect and unfair as it is, can respond to kindness with kindness and this is worth upholding. It is Not So here; scenes like the whole precinct cheering away at the prospect of Beth's impending execution are just—wow, okay.

So, as far as dS goes, this is a super solipsistic episode. It's perfectly self-contained, and even though it could have, I don't know, implications for Ray the way some of Fraser's Bad Shit did for Fraser, it just isn't addressed in the end. And I don't think it should be. It's a character study, and whoever decided they needed a very heavy one for Ray is my hero. (Note: I think this is the reason I never read a coda for this episode that I enjoyed. Having your blorbo break down in tears right in front of his boyfriend right before the credits with no follow-up kind of begs for a coda, but—newp. It works so well because it cuts off with no big resolutions.)

And whoever wrote those two closing scenes deserves a medal; to have this much restraint is an achievement for late season dS. CKR and Dixie Seatle also deserve a medal each for creating something this excruciating with super precise line deliveries and body language.

Small things my mind always catches on:

Welsh and his pink duster, looking out for Ray

CKR's rolling over the car stunt (steam comes out of my ears)

tiny flashback Ray checking his hair in the mirror at the crime scene because of course he does

Ray casually fiddling with Fraser's hat as they walk around

Sam Franklin's whole deal. I mean, there's tension there. For god's sake he pats Ray's cheek like a proud mentor he played the whole time when Ray takes his gun during his arrest. I mean. Uh. Yeah.

the fact that truepenny quit her meta right before this episode is a human tragedy

Probably like 40% of what you've read above have been brought up or articulated by @mannequin3thereckoning, so thank her for all the fun. I hope we can do this again some time <3

[watcheraurora]

u did that reblog abt talking abt ur fics so now ur subjected to me

Tango is so fucking cool in all of your goddamn fanfictions. like every time everything he does is so genuis coded which means your a genuis. genuis in fiction. And i fcuking love how fucking comic codded this is. like cartoonish i love it and i love that you play in that willingly.

and wdym TANGO FROZE THE CUFFS TO GET OUT ughhh i hate that man he should've died in the finale (i dont mean that) and oh my god him coming back as deepfrost ughhh

I love empires studio and Jimmy beign a backround artist and seeing colors in people. colors are so beautiful and soft and that's just so him ya know,,,, I can imagine Tango spent DAYS analysing his work sometimes. He'd go super brained and be like "this color is because of... joel being an asshole!" and Jimmy would be like "it's actually because of martyn..." and tango would be like ughghghghhg

also that clip about tango doing the 288 math in zed's episode. totally thought about your tango then. i was like "does he really have 160 IQ?????" lmfao. i fucking forever love ice walls

you know me and my dang love for healing light and my dang impatience for part two. Im so fucking excted (this goes out to inferna too)

Firewalls. is it evil of me to hope that tango burns Jimmy's wings. even a little bit. just a little bit. for the shits and giggles.

We need more of grian lore i cannot stress this enough grian is like that badass character in a cartoon (maybe bcz he is but oh well)

Foundation is <3 angel is sososo pretty (i have never seen her in my life) and im so excited for the LOREE i keep imaging her and scar in a bus in the middle of the night going to grian's since thazt chapter dropped and UGH.

I'm fine with that XD I love talking about my fics XD

This got long so it's under the cut

Thank you! I try to lean into the cartoonish vibes as much as I can! It helps keep things a little lighter and, to me personally, more fun. I'm really tired of "gritty, grimdark" superhero stories that have come about in recent decades don't get me started on what they've done to Batman and even Superman (sob) so I try to make mine capture the whimsy and fun of "if I had powers, I'd use them to help" as much as I can

As for Tango's genius, I do really struggle with it, but thank you, I appreciate the compliment

Yeah, Tango freezing the cuffs to get out was, I'll admit, a little Elsa-from-Frozen but I didn't even think about Frozen when I was writing it XD I was just thinking "Oh some metal gets really brittle when it gets cold and Tango is cold and he can't freeze" so I did the same thing XD

I don't know why I made Jimmy a background artist, tbh. It just kinda suited him in my head. Not the center of attention but still an appreciated part of the process without which nothing would be as good and immersive. And I liked that for how Jimmy and Sheriff are in this universe. (And, yeah, Tango doesn't always understand what Jimmy's color analysis choices are but he enjoys it nonetheless)

Honestly I think ccTango is a lot more intelligent than he gives himself credit for and I'm perfectly content to perpetuate that in the fics I write. Because, yeah, holy cow that's actually a sheep, Tango /ref that math was fast. Like I can do long multiplication in my head too but not that fast

@infernafiresword Passing along the love for Healing Light! We're working on Part 2 we promise. I just kinda got infected by Perfection/Saint and took a few weeks off every other project to get it finished and written but once it's done (and it's close) I will be going back to Healing Light 2 and Burn Out 2

Oh part 2 of Walls of Fire will have lots of shenanigans, but I can't tell you what happens to Jimmy's wings because spoilers

Oh Grian Lore? Okay. Here's a fun fact about Ice Walls!Grian: there is one (1) very specific reason Grian decided to try having friends again after being mostly alone for thousands of years when a 14-year-old Jimmy declared that they would be friends. I might be toying with revealing it in Walls of Fire 2 though so I'm not going to say what that very specific reason was just yet (but if I don't include it for whatever reason, come yell at me and I'll tell you then lol). It had something to do with Jimmy and his personality, and that's all I'll say

I have also never seen Angel in my life but she's pretty in my head too 😊 It's very dear to me when people enjoy and like Angel - she's my sweetie

[extralively]

I have brain worms 🤭 Has Satoru and Yura ever gone clubbing on a random night throughout the years?

If they haven't, say hypothetically that they did, what are they like when they're dancing together? 😁 I can't stop thinking about them dancing together to millennial club music because they're 90s kids 🥴

Sorry this took me a couple of days to answer! And that's because I got inspired to write a mini oneshot about it LMAO

Clubbing

Gojo Satoru/Original Female Character Gen, Drunken shenanigans, Fluff 1849 words Summary: Satoru and Yura go clubbing with Utahime and Shoko... Part of this series

This one is set in 2017 before all the bad stuff happens, so Satoru and Yura are in a (mostly) established relationship! I had fun with this ngl, drunk Yura is really fun to write bwahaha

Early 2017

Clubbing had never been one of Satoru’s favorite activities. Sure, dancing was fun, but dancing in the middle of a crowd of people grinding up against you really wasn’t his idea of a fun time, especially considering how much booze was involved in the whole concept of clubbing. Finding someone to have a good time with rarely provided satisfactory results when he’d tried to do it in a nightclub—again, there was too much alcohol involved—so he generally tried to avoid it when he was by himself.

Of course, tonight he was neither by himself nor was he looking for someone to have a good time with—because that person had already come in with him.

“Cheers!” the three women called in unison before downing their shots in one go, as Satoru only looked at them with amusement. Utahime was in town, which meant Shoko and Yura had decided to have a night out together, and they’d ended up inviting him and Nanami to come along. Nanamin had declined though, claiming he just wanted to sleep, so Satoru was the only man in their little group... and soon enough, he’d be the only one sober too.

“Aaah, it’s so nice to de-stress,” Utahime said with a sigh, leaning back on her seat.

“Your students giving you trouble, Utahime?” he couldn’t help himself. “You’ve got some pretty strong ones to deal with these days, what’s a poor little weak teacher to do—oww,” he yelped as Utahime shot him a glare... and Yura sharply tugged at his ear.

Mostly the ear thing.

“Behave,” Yura chided him, tugging at his ear again. Satoru pouted.

Then he threw his arms around Yura, whining into her shoulder because oh why wouldn’t she let him tease Utahime?

Yura heaved out a sigh and downed another shot.

The music was loud as the four of them continued chatting with each other, one of the many reasons why Satoru didn’t care much for nightclubs. It was hard for them to chat like this, although Satoru would have to admit that he was enjoying the situation more than expected when he had to keep leaning closer to Yura in order for her to hear him, and she also had to lean closer to him. Sure, Yura was slowly starting to smell like alcohol as she and the other two kept drinking all those shots and cocktails, which wasn’t his favorite smell on her... but he wasn’t really minding that a whole lot right now.

And that was because of one very special effect that alcohol had on her...

“Let’s dance!” Yura called at one point, and Satoru was trying to bite back his grin.

Because even though he didn’t care much for alcohol himself, it actually got Yura loosening up pretty fast. And a loosened up Yura was a happy—and touchy—Yura, so Satoru followed her and the other two to the dance floor with his shoulders perked up.

It wasn’t hard to get in the groove of things, even if he was probably the only sober person in this entire crowd of people. Watching Yura dance around and laugh with Shoko and Utahime did help, and Satoru grinned as he followed along—pointedly bumping away any handsy sweaty dudes that tried to get a little too close.

(Seriously, why were there so many of them?)

But overall, Satoru wasn’t having a bad time at all. Yura seemed to be having fun, and Satoru was particularly enjoying himself watching her have fun, dancing around carefree in front of him. He may have purposefully pulled out some, ahem, retro dance moves in order to get her to giggle at him, which had been all worth it when he saw Yura’s beaming (and flushed) face, even in the middle of the flashing lights of the dance floor.

See? There was no need for him to get drunk in order to enjoy things. Yura seemed to be doing enough of that for the both of them...

Satoru let himself sway around as the three women downed more shots, turning away from them slightly as he followed the beat. He’d been in the process of turning back to them when he suddenly felt someone pressing against his side, and he quickly blinked down to find an unknown woman there.

The woman smiled up at him. Satoru only blinked down at her again, even though she probably couldn’t see it behind his glasses. His Infinity wasn’t registering her as a threat, but he still activated it to keep her away, since the woman kept trying to dance against him—

That’s when he felt two arms wrapping themselves around his torso—familiar arms, this time. Satoru’s face immediately broke out in a grin as he glanced behind him to find Yura pressed against his back, and not only was Yura trying to tug him away from the woman, but she was also pouting.

His grin widened.

Was she jealous?

“Yuraaa,” he called, even though he was drowned out by the loud music. The unknown woman was quickly forgotten as Yura’s fingers tightened on his shirt, still trying to pull him away, and Satoru happily let Yura do just that.

Then his grin widened even more when Yura pressed her face against his back, then even more somehow as she started to awkwardly sway around in place like she was trying to dance without actually letting go of him.

Well, if she wanted to get touchy, they could get touchy.

Satoru let his hands cover hers from where they rested on his front, trying to match the sway of his body to hers. A sober Yura probably would have never ended up in this position in public, so maybe Satoru was enjoying it a little too much while it lasted. The thought of her feeling jealous over him also tickled him to no end, and he caught the unknown woman from before shooting him disappointed glances as she found that he was, ahem, taken.

So taken that Yura still refused to let go of him at all.

(Satoru grinned at the thought.)

The loud beats continued, Satoru and Yura’s bodies moving together just a tad bit awkwardly with the lack of space between them as Yura still didn’t let go. Not that he was complaining—he was enjoying it very much. So much so that he almost whined when Shoko interrupted them to hand Yura a drink after she and Utahime came back from the bar.

“Hate to break this up,” Shoko said. “But here’s your drink—if you don’t take it, I will drink it.”

Yura unwound her arms from around his torso, and now Satoru was the one left pouting.

“I’m gonna start cutting you off,” Satoru told Yura, shooting the drink a look. He was half-joking, half-serious, because Yura was now at just the right level of drunkenness—loosened up enough to get touchy in public, while not quite at the level of regretting it all later.

“No,” Yura replied, trying to shoot him a glare that was mostly a pout.

“Yes,” he responded. He was trying to bite back a grin.

“No,” Yura repeated, and this time she pulled her drink away from him. She might actually be crossing over to the too much level of drunkenness right now...

“Yes,” he said again, lifting a hand to grab at her glass, playfully tugging it to him. So she tugged it back, and he tugged at it again, and they locked themselves into a half-hearted tug-of-war with her drink until Satoru eventually just grabbed Yura’s hand to twirl her around instead, making her pout immediately shift into a giggle.

He would let her have this one last drink—but that would be it. Otherwise he would have to deal with a drunk Yura begging for sex and/or karaoke later and he’d be stuck being the responsible one saying no.

He hated being the responsible one. He just wanted to enjoy a drunk, touchy Yura instead.

(So he did, as the two of them went back to dancing. Not quite pressed against each other like before, but this time around he allowed himself to always be touching her one way of the other—twirling her in place, tugging her by the hand, holding on to her waist...)

He really wouldn’t mind coming to a club more often, to be honest... as long as Yura was with him, of course.

-

The car door slammed shut as Shoko and Utahime finally left, Satoru having dropped them off at Shoko’s place as the designated driver for the night (and always). And immediately after, Yura let out a sigh from her spot on the passenger seat, turning to him with a glint in her eyes before he even started driving again.

“Satoru,” she called, and he turned to her with an amused eyebrow. Yura was staring at him dead in the eye, nodding at him seriously. “Let’s go karaoke.”

Satoru snorted. He couldn’t say he hadn’t seen it coming.

“It’s very late,” he said, and Yura pouted. “Plus, we’ve got karaoke at home.”

He had bought himself a karaoke machine for this exact occasion—to fulfill a drunken Yura’s ever-present desire to sing karaoke after drinking a little too much.

“But I wanna gooo,” Yura whined, throwing herself closer to him as much as her seatbelt would allow.

And Satoru grinned, even though her pout was making him want to cave in to her request.

“We’ll go to my place,” he said, leaning closer to her. “And I’ll let you karaoke for as long as you want, how about it?”

Their faces were very close now, and Yura’s intensified pout was doing something to his insides as his eyes looked down at her lips. And Satoru couldn’t help himself; his hand reached up to cup her cheek, thumb brushing over soft skin before he finally leaned forward to press his lips to hers.

He'd been meaning to do this all night...

When Satoru finally pulled away, he ended up grinning at the dazed look on Yura’s face—dazed, but pleased, her face flushed and her lips shining, almost urging him to dive right back in.

“...Okay,” she finally breathed out, her tongue poking out to lick at her own lips. “Let’s go have sex.”

Satoru snorted. His hand patted at her cheek. “Maybe if you were less drunk,” he said before pulling away, Yura’s ensuing whine making him snort again.

It took all his willpower to not lean back in, especially as Yura let out an adorable huff.

“Then I wanna cuddle,” she said, and Satoru glanced at her to find her pouting again as he started the car.

Satoru grinned. “We can cuddle,” he agreed.

“...Cuddle and karaoke.”

Satoru let out yet another snort at Yura’s negotiating. “We can do both at the same time if we go to my place.”

Yura perked up at that, falling back into her seat with a satisfied nod, and Satoru held back a laugh.

Drunk Yura really was so easy to please sometimes...

End notes: I hope this answered the ask hehehe. Sometimes inspiration just strikes me and bam there u go, but to put it short: it's rare for them to go clubbing, but they have done it on occasion. They're more likely to go to a bar or something, but that's also a mostly Yura and Shoko activity with Satoru occasionally joining in ('cause he doesn't drink).

Speaking of drinks, I just really like writing drunk Yura ehehehe. I think the reason why drunk Yura is so fun is because when we strip away her inhibitions, we find that she's just as silly and needy and clingy as Satoru, it's like those two are just made for each other! (I mean, technically yes, she is my OC.......)

It's just really fun to have Yura be the clingy one for once!

[walkingaline]

2024 - mixed reviews from a Hell of a year

So, @oonajaeadira tagged me in a lovely game, created by the Pedro Pascal fandom. They're collecting a list of their favourite creations, and spreading the love.

I haven't been creating a lot even for my original fandom (Hell, basically) even, so sadly I don't have anything to put on the Pedro plate (although, my love for the guy and his roles keeps growing).

I would still like to start the same thing. I know this year has been tough for a lot of folks out there, so, if you want to take a moment to list your accomplishments... this is the right place for it.

@panthera-dei, @risingphoenix761 @additionaladdams @ichbinnurzugast @hectatess @letsby @mashathemachine and the one beloved moot who probably has something to offer to the original game, @alwaysbethewest 🖤🧡

Fanfic-wise, it's been a lean year, but

Bad Day At MacLeod's is still a soft cuddle after a long day. I've had far too many days that only seemed to bring issues, stress and the bad kind of chaos. And every single one of those was made better just by winding down and finding some comfort in the quiet closeness of friends who just get it.

Thistle And Blood was created for a challenge, but it made me stretch my noir muscles. It was just so. Fun! There are two more AUs that came up for the same challenge (including a Space Opera AU, which was absolutely right up my alley and incredibly fun to toy with, as well).

I've run the Crowley Big Bang, prepped the Crowley Reverse Bang, partook in the @alphabetquest and I'm currently waiting on posting for another Bang, and already signed up for a couple more.

So... go on, peeps. Tags are open and zero pressure, but tell me. Dig deep and share what brilliant things you did. And if you haven't done anything, fandom-wise... there's always next year.

In case we want to talk about personal life, my rambling starts now:

I must say, the favourite thing I've written this year have been original works.

I've been working closely with a friend for a while, now. It all started as a game, and like games often do, it led me down a road I would have never thought to walk. After years of using my skills to help others telling stories, I've decided to start spinning my own.

Imagine my shock when this absolute first script (although it'd been rewritten and reworked several times) placed in a contest. I definitely didn't win, but I feel like I did.

I've been having a few tough years. I've lost people - some are gone, others just gone from my life. I've wasted time, energy and attention. I've loved too little, or in the wrong ways. I've been stuck. Back in April, I've lost the invaluable company of my sweet dog.

This year, though, I've also started doing things that make me happy. I've travelled a lot more. I've met new people who made things easier without even trying. I've watched a lot of loved ones going through bad stuff, and coming out of it on top, more determined to be kind than anything - because I'm privileged enough to know a bunch of bastard punks with hearts of gold. The joy, the heartbreak, the poetry, the ruin. Everything was there.

This year felt like it was 4 or 5 years long, but all considered, I can't wait to get into more shenanigans next year.

[lumilasi]

"Lone wolf's a Dead Wolf. Healthy Wolf protects the Pack."

Earlier this week, I reblogged a fanart piece for the Mouthwashing game, wondering why it was so popular, as while I had seen the game months earlier, seeing Tumblr get so into it was surprising as at the time, it didn't stand out to me too much when I first watched it. After being nosy and snooping around the tags, I now fully get why it has become such a phenomenon here.

Anyway, the whole thing kind of inspired me to want to make my own lil space crew. I'll be keeping their designs simple though, as I don't wanna stress myself out with this too much; its just a small side thing for funsies. I don't have full design ideas for others yet, but I figured I can at least post this guy for starters. I admittedly don't fully like the poster one, buuuut IDK how to fix it rn so I'll leave it as is.

More info about him below: (under the cut bc ONCE AGAIN my descriptions get far too long....)

The poster's Lone wolf quote is basically Stefan's mantra; it both shows how despite what he may seem like at first glance, he very much cares about the people around him, and how the whole "lone wolf" thing isn't even realistic (and in a way, harmful way of thinking), and Stefan knows that.

When I say "dad" I mean he is the responsible friend who tries to keep most shenanigans at bay - mainly from their tech assistant Mara.

The person yelling for him is in fact Mara

He's bi, tends to be oblivious to people's crushes on him because of a lot of self-loathing caused by what happened. He also learns later on he is polyamorous too.

He met pretty freaky people in prison, but NOBODY was as scary as his current captain, according to him.

His childhood friend has a crush on him, and so does the medic lady. He is aware of Matt's crush on him, but somehow completely oblivious to Cherry, even though she shows it more obviously.... (the Captain and the systems officer find it VERY fun to watch)

Those two aren't competitive or anything about their shared crush, they're both the kind of people that just want their loved ones to be happy and would be happy for either if they got lucky - provided the dumbass would notice either.....

His wolf motif is because of his surname meaning "wolf"

BG STORY STUFF: Stefan wears a gas mask, because of his sensitivity to a common gas type utilized in most spaceships' systems in this story; a special type of non-flammable gas, that unfortunately can cause hallucinations, and in his case, causes bouts of severe aggression/Lack of sense of pain.

-----> The reason why he has an odd reaction is because of some evil scientist shenanigans he had to go through as a kid, unknowingly to him and his mum, who thought the doctors were trying to cure a terrible illness he supposedly had. (They were just testing out brainwashing stuff, you know, usual evil government bullshit)

------> he ended up in prison because while working in another ship, he had a severe fit and killed a lot of his coworkers (whom he already had negative emotions towards due to their shitty behavior towards the woman staff - he was raised better by his mama)

-----> There was a massive riot in the prison he was in, hence he managed to escape.

His friend insisted on helping and got him in the ship; Stefan initially avoided everyone else like plague afraid he'd have a fit, but did grow fond of the oddball group pretty quickly.

Then, during a space-pirate raid, he learned that he can actually recognize this group even in that state, so they aren't in danger from him - plus their captain is a very prepared woman, and had already figured out his history. (She has stuff to knock him out to sleep it off)

[nejishadow]

PART 2 of my Hidesuke drabbles and ramblings, because I did it for Kenji so Hidetoshi deserves it, too! (Guest starring hidemakosuke / hamukeitoshi, and hamtoshi!)

These have been said all in the Hidetoshi discord over many, many months, but I'll update and fix wording as needed, like all my other collections like this.

We need more hidesuke fics please! It can't only be me again, there are too many rarepairs!!

As always you're free to be inspired by these ideas, just please show me! Please!!

I like the idea that Hidetoshi can never tell when someone's flirting with him.

All throughout his childhood into high school, he never dates anyone, he's happy just with Keisuke. Keisuke in turn always turns people down, because he likes Hidetoshi After some time everyone assumes they're dating, there could be no other explanation. This is news to Hidetoshi, what could make them think that? He asks Keisuke who's just "Oh yeah everyone's thought that for years." "Why didn't you correct them?" "… I don't mind it?" (Feels this isn't the time to tell the truth)

Hidetoshi now over in the corner rethinking a lotta things

-----

Exam season studying at home, both Hidetoshi and Keisuke stressed out of their minds but Hidetoshi will not rest.

Eventually Keisuke can't take watching him anymore, gets a pillow in his lap and coerces him into lying down "Just for a few minutes?" "Just a few minutes of rest, Hidetoshi" Keisuke keeps one hand petting Hidetoshi's hair and gets him to entirely fall asleep.

Works quietly to not work him up, but keeps getting distracted by fiddling with his hair

-----

Hidetoshi taking off Keisuke's glasses the very first time they kiss, the idea of Keisuke being able to easily see him just feels embarrassing Keisuke, lighthearted teasing because he knows what's up - "I can still see you, you know" In his panic he forgot his friend was nearsighted

(Though I personally subscribe to Keisuke being far sighted ha)

-----

Hidetoshi the one planning / maintaining the school dance, because he's the best at keeping things in order, knows where to herd people and what safety measures are needed. But that means he isn't participating in anything all night. Keisuke not able to get him to relax for more than a second to keep hydrated.

So end of day, everyone leaving, grabs Hidetoshi's hands and drags him to the middle of the room after putting their own music on. He's owed a dance for being ignored all night isn't he? Not getting outta this. Hidetoshi may grumble a bit, but he can't lie and say he doesn't want to dance, because they haven't in a long time.

Like to think they start off with a proper slow dance but a song or two in Keisuke's just swinging them around having the time of their lives, able to fully openly laugh because it's just them. Hidetoshi goes along with it becase it's become rarer and rarer to see his friend so free-spirited.

-----

Hidetoshi talking to Keisuke about where he's supposed to take someone for a first date (for the protag…). His friend telling him "Well, where would you wanna go Hide-kun?" Thinks and thinks. He'd probably want to go out to eat. But what would be the best food?

Ensue them both going out on a buncha what are pretty much mock dates, trying different foods at different restaurants, Keisuke mostly rating atmosphere and some taste, Hidetoshi judging the value and overall experience.

Come actual date day with protag, it would change depending on which one we have. So details ignored for that. But realizes partway into dinner it feels odd to not have Keisuke here for this. He helped a lot Protag figures it out, isn't bothered or annoyed. Knows that's his best friend. Invite him along next time.

Poly shenanigans ensue.

-----

Keisuke always coming over to Hidetoshi's apartment rather than Hidetoshi going to his house. "Why are you always over here? Isn't your room way bigger?" (Been a long time since Hidetoshi was in it) Keisuke curled up on Hidetoshi's bed with a pillow. "It's homier here. It's cozy being around you." Hidetoshi just huffs from his desk chair, Keisuke gives compliments to butter him up into doing stupid stuff, so doesn't take it too seriously.

But Keisuke means it. Doesn't want Hidetoshi judged by his family or parents every moment they're in his house (especially because Hidetoshi supports whatever he wants to do vs his dad wanting one path, they might butt heads), wants to just be comfortable. And they're both comfortable here. All the space in the world means nothing if there's no comfort, and Hidetoshi is the most comforting thing he knows.

-----

Hidetoshi birthday fic idea, where even he forgot about his birthday because he's so busy. Keisuke pulling little strings throughout the day to make sure Hidetoshi'll be free after school, gets him to come into the art room where it's just them. Happy birthday! Has one cupcake with a fun candle, knows his friend isn't one for spectacle Hidetoshi unsure what to do, just a bit overwhelmed by being thought of. Eventually gets coaxed into making a wish and enjoying the cupcake, squeezes Keisuke half to death in appreciation.

-----

Hamtoshi, but Kotone thinks Keisuke and Hidetoshi are already dating and she is the third in the polycule. So they're going out to eat, and she shows up… with Keisuke in tow (she probably met him on the way out of school and yoinked him along once they talked about what she was doing). Hidetoshi baffled - when did his girlfriend and best friend become friends enough to do this? - but if she wants him around then it's ok. He's not going to complain about it.

My brain's not working with me to expand on it, but I'm sure it could be funny in the right hands

-----

Hidetoshi having high pride in his appearance, even when he's crazy sick. But when he's that sick, he can't do it proper

In comes Keisuke, who's seen him do this so many times he could do it with his eyes closed. Carefully does Hidetoshi's hair and makes sure his shirt is buttoned up nice. And then gets him to lie down on his lap for "just a minute". And Hidetoshi falls asleep. Keeps him on his side so his hair doesn't get messed up, just pets very carefully.

Half-related - Keisuke being a person who's usually lighter hearted and playful to offset Hidetoshi's serious nature, but also so serious about health and knowing the boundaries / when to stop. Hidetoshi focused and goal oriented to keep Keisuke from wandering, and someone who will push past the limits to find the truth or do what's right. They compliment each other so well, covering each other's weaknesses.

-----

Keisuke seems the type to give a kiss to the protag's cheek and say "pass that along to Hidetoshi for me", wherein Hidetoshi is like 5 feet away

Or the opposite, where he kisses Hidetoshi's cheek to pass to the protag but they're way on the other side of the school (he's just looking for an excuse to tease Hidetoshi is all)

-----

Hidetoshi planning his and Keisuke's anniversary down to every detail, doesn't want anything to go wrong. But it lands during a time where Keisuke is deep in research for a final paper, nothing exists but his research. Doesn't even realize what day it is.

Hidetoshi surprising him on the day with a happy anniversary. And the combination of stress and happiness just makes Keisuke cry. Apologizes for ruining things, he's so happy, he's just overwhelmed. But Hidetoshi doesn't care. A bit of crying would never be enough to ruin their day.

Then they get to eat nice food and go see a nice view and just chill. Keisuke having to get right back to his paper afterwards so Hidetoshi pulls another chair up to keep him company. Falls asleep as it gets late, but Keisuke still very appreciative that his boyfriend would go through any of this for him.

-----

Cupid Keisuke (maybe in the angel/devil kenjikoto au) lightly poking Hidetoshi with one of his arrows (could also be regular them playing with theatre props) To which Hidetoshi's "You know that won't work" "Yeah, because you already love me~" Keisuke leaning over his shoulder, all smiles. To which Hidetoshi grumbles but doesn't respond… because he's not wrong.

-----

Awhile after they both graduate college and get settled into their lives, Hidetoshi and Keisuke leaving the country to get legally married, just so they have a paper to metaphorically throw in Keisuke's dad's face. (I imagine he's the dad who always had that small hope, which leads him to nag, that his son will 'choose the right path' and settled down with a well off woman and have a kid).

Keisuke's rich, even if he didn't touch family money he still has plenty, so no way is he going to let his dad decide anything for him anymore. So dresses them to the nines, wants to go the whole nine yards even if they don't need to, have fun before they go back to normal life. Hidetoshi's not sure, isn't it better to be conservative? Save money for something important? But then he sees Keisuke so happy, having the time of his life and realizes that - for Keisuke - this is the important thing he'd been saving for.

I think Keisuke would want them to sightsee all along the coasts, or visit a bunch of major landmarks, make it a long enough trip they can make multiple memories for a lifetime.

-----

Thinking more about hidesuke casually holding hands. How neither thinks about it because they did it so often when they were little for safety.

Is someone gonna bump into Keisuke? Grabs his hand and gently pulls him outta the way, doesn't think about letting go.

Really crowded at the station? Keisuke holding Hidetoshi's hand to not get separated, but threads their fingers along the way so they don't get tugged apart.

Keisuke one day lifting those interlocked hands and kissing the back of Hidetoshi's, which makes him short circuit cause that's new that's not part of their routine. But. It's not bad, not from Keisuke

[insufferable-talkstuck]

hey callie (if that's your name), i hope you don't mind me submitting an entire essay of sorts so that you could, you know, classpect me. i've seen the stuff you've been posting here on this blog of yours, and i can't help but like it. so uhhh, let the trauma dumping begin, i guess? i'll try not to take this too far, so i'll give you something more palatable to read. if i do, feel free to call me out for it like you did over mentions of politics that other people did.

so...how would i describe myself as a person?

dude, i wish you had a format like a list of questions or something. is this dumb for me to complain about because by being this open-ended, you're giving other people the choice to say what they want to, with those choices ultimately providing a subtle kind of information that may or may not make your readings/analyses more accurate? probably. am i going to complain about it anyway? well, i just did, even though i'm not usually one to actively complain. that translates to absolutely, by the way. all this text is just a transcript for my thoughts while writing this. no wonder this has gotten out of hand so quickly. but look on the bright side: there's more for you to analyse. fuck yeah to that. :)

back to the question: one thing i can say about myself is that i go on tangents and can get sidetracked easily (see the above paragraph for explicit proof). i'm also a very secretive person, especially in regards to my problems and my inner world. when it comes to that, i can't help but feel like i understand them better than how the external world works. to compensate for this lack of understanding, i tend to, figuratively speaking, wear different hats depending on the situation. usually, im quiet and lay low as i keep an eye on what goes on around me, which i attempt to grasp by myself. other times, i do the exact opposite when i feel like i'm supposed to, mostly in attempts to get others to like me. i'm either too much or too little for the people around me to deal with. hell, i guess i could say i'm wearing a different hat right now through the way i'm typing in this ask, and that's mostly because i'm that fucking terrified of being able to be identified via typing style alone even if i'm anonymous. a person's gotta cover their tracks while admitting personal shit, you know?

so to cope with the fact that i find it hard to make friends due to all this, i've gotten used to isolating myself and being self-reliant, to the point where i straight up pretend to be stoic, cold, and boring to talk to out of well, a lot of things. these things include how i'm constantly terrified of social interaction, i'm afraid of hurting other people through whatever shitty choices and words i decide to make or say, and i can't help but feel worthless all the goddamn time. it even goes to the point where i tell myself that i should be so proud to be so "independent and badass" as a motivator to keep getting away with this despite having this deep, contradictory craving to have meaningful interpersonal relationships in my life, which i tell myself is stupid and that any attempts i make at it are bound to be a waste of time and effort to avoid dealing with it all together. and i suppose that also makes me a hypocrite by default. that's a big yikes on my part.

i also guess that according to some people i used to know, there's a side of me that can be best described as sassy, blunt, with a disposition of innocence and sunshine. i mean, i'm probably being incredibly sassy while typing this all out, aren't i? (which is intentional) if you find it hilarious (like some of my friends did), then i'm glad to hear that the interspersed shenanigans i've been pulling as i prose on endlessly about my flaws have made someone laugh. however, i don't fully buy my sunny, pure disposition as part of who i am as i can't help but feel that only developed as a way to avoid conflict, especially by preventing any sign of my problems and stress from leaking into the day-to-day conversations i had with them at the time. however, there were occasions where both my positive and/or negative emotions got so overwhelming to deal with that i accidentally snapped in front of them. even though i try to prevent those kinds of occasions from happening at all, i regret every single time i lose my composure like that without meaning to due to how i felt rejected every time i did that. and well, in my eyes, rejection scares the everloving shit out of me as well.

i've also been described as a "robot" and a "cryptid" on previous occasions and well, i don't entirely know how to feel about those kinds of descriptors. but i'm not complaining about it because being any of those things sounds badass to me when trying to be positive about it.

so yeah, i'd say that im a person that's damn good at usually playing the role of a stone-cold, sassy hardass with nothing interesting to offer beyond that while wishing it were the truth.

and well, i feel like i've talked enough about myself to feel the need to not mention anything else, so that's where i'll end this. like, i'm usually private about my interests, especially the ones i'm the most emotionally invested im (which can go to the point where I lie about them out of embarassment) and my aspriations in life are something along the lines of "i want to do all this cool shit, but i realistically don't have the energy for all that and worrying about what other people need from me is more important anyway."

hope you got something out of all of this. it was nice for me to type it out, even if all i did was talk about myself. but that's the point, right? and hopefully, i don't regret saying any of this. sorry if this was a long one to read, i hope that doesn't bother you too much.

Witch of heart

my name is Calliope, on this blog, nicknames are appreciated tho i find them sweet.

ah hem, you must excuse me, i am a little rusty, for i have not classpected in a while. But i "tried" my "best" here so take it however you will

you managed to talk about yourself while also avoiding talking about yourself. people majorly view themselves as.. a collection of titles, a community they're members in, interests, morals and their overall attitude twords the world. but you only talked about personality, which is certainly a rare case. No music or art that you're into? do you sit infront of a mirror all day and pass your time on..... self reflection ? you did say your interests are private so, maybe they're too private for even the classpect blog to know. how sad

i assigned you a witch of heart because, you're certainly a steriotypical heart player, from the way you're speaking. i do think I could manage assigning you a blood player with more information... perhaps hit my inbox again soon.

i struggled a bit for the class but then it was obvious, you change heart, you manipulate it to your given situation you put on a... hat. ( why did you say a hat of all things? )

✷ sometimes i add in a little bonus when the answer is too short, my guilt is practically eating me alive for responding with such a short classpecting sesh to such a big ask, but you did use a whole bunch of words to talk about nothing so, not exactly in my pay range to fix my reply, I will say i think you're the first person I don't think I could find a moon for, you could go either side but not in the sollux way, just in the: I think it took you way too long to wake up way

[andersonpress]

I am TRASH

Originally Written Nov 2018

I like to pride myself on doing a lot of shit. Like, too much shit.

Naturally, I complain all the time about all the shit I have to do. A paper due on Wednesday, executive board meetings every evening, shuffling between events just to save face, and all the other irrelevant shenanigans in between. I am always tired, I eat terribly, but I always seem to find time for a stress nap. My bank account is always telling me oh baby fawk no but when I see some dope Air forces I immediately acquire the skill Black mothers have of "making a way out of no way". I swore off relationships and casual sex so that I could focus on my work but...i'm trash remember?

I started telling people about my dumpster-like qualities as an excuse to keep being terrible. Yeah, I know I'm eating four crispy tacos and cinnamon twists from Taco Bell at 3am, I'm TRASH. I know I said I was going to tell them to leave me alone but haha you thought, I'm TRASH they on the way to the house. And yes, I know that I said I was going to do my paper way before the last two hours I can turn it in but you already know what I'm about to say. All good things must come to an end, though. My trash qualities landed me in the worst depression of my life, forty-five pounds overweight, and stuck in a relationship that left the both of us unsatisfied. I was immensely unhappy with all aspects of my life and how I treated myself and everyone around me, but this is what being trash is supposed to be right? Shitty people live shitty lives I guess, so how can I change the inevitable? Matter of fact, why change the inevitable? These negative tendencies have been built up for the past twenty years, you can't stop this train of disappointment and sadness now. But, why not?

I began my search for inner peace or as I call my "Eat, Pray, Love" stage. The part of your life you transition to after you have decided enough is enough and killing yourself is more hassle than its worth. I went to my local Half-Price Books and walked straight to the spiritual/self-help section. When I looked at the top shelf, I saw Russel Brand, that British guy who was married to Katy Perry and played in a couple of movies. His book was called Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions, and was advertised as a guide to recovering from all sorts of addictions, from the mouth of an addict who struggled with addictions to heroin, alcohol, sex, food, etc. To be honest, the first thing I thought was, so this is what he's doing now? Writing self-help books? From what I remember, he was pretty hilarious and I needed a good laugh. I can say hands down that this book walked me into my personal mental sanity. I literally felt like a different person after I read it. This was the first of many steps I took during my "Eat, Pray, Love" year to battle all of my addictions: sugary foods, attention, procrastinating, feeling like I always needed something to do to be worth something, and being so accepting of those I loved walking all over me. You see, we all have negative tendencies for a number of reasons. It's important to find those reasons, find the why.

I ate sugary foods to avoid issues that I did not feel like addressing (tension in my relationships, tackling a large task, addressing my depression, etc). Now, when daunted with something that will give me immense anxiety, I do breathing exercises . When I needed to procrastinate, it was really because I really did not believe I was intelligent. Now, I have to work actively to not let my depression get the best of me, and know that tomorrow can always be better than today. I was eating the way I was because I did not deem myself worthy of being happy. I changed the way I thought, I changed my negative tendencies, because I am TRASH. If I allow my negative tendencies to overtake my life then I really do not see the point of living. Being trash is natural, especially with how terrible this world is, it's easy to use so many things to cope. But I deserve happiness, I deserve to want to wake up, I deserve to live a life I am proud of, and so is everyone else. '

My mother and I had never had great communication. I love her, but we both really needed to learn to how to talk to one another. I knew this was a huge problem in my life and that I wanted her to be a part of my life. I want my kids to go to grandma's house, and I want her with me when I get my doctorate. I need my mother in my life, so things had to change. With a lot of talking (sometimes using our inside voices and sometimes not),we found middle ground. I relate to her, I appreciate all she has done for me, and I understand the unconditional love she has for her children. I finally have the relationship with her I have always wanted and that's because I recognized how trash of a communicator I was.

We are all trash in some way. It's inevitable. However, we can all recognize where we fall short, and how we can do better. You can't ever stay in the same place for a long time. Eventually shit gets old. If you let old shit weigh on you everyday you are going to live a long, upsetting, and angry life, and who wants that? Work on yourself. Pick up a book. Go to the gym, consistently. It really is in your own best interest.

#deepthoughts

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOAOA everytime I see a censored name of the length I’m gonna assume it’s him (also unrelated but while we’re taking abt your other posts if tumblr did that to me while I was responding to you id lowk shit myself because we yap sm)

Kalos yuki supremacy….but LMAO tabieita really start slandering him like there’s no tomorrow and then the next day they see him on national tv next to Chris Prince cue their jaws dropping onto the floor

HAHAH omg a personal twt filter i need one sometimes the stuff that ends up on my feed is batshit insane like why’s James Charles here ok but wait now that you say it being called aiku sounds wrong because my first association with him is womanizer not captain of the u20 team and top notch defender HSSBHA (says a lot about aiku)

STOP I READ THAT IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT WITH THE WILD WEST MUSIC AUTOMATICALLY PLAYING but imagine everytime Reo sees a psychic type now he’s on guard like “shit are they reading my mind” (wait speaking of I forgot to mention this like three responses ago but I relatively recently (in terms of how long I’ve known pokemon) figured out reasoning behind psychic advantages/disadvantages, it’s weak to everything that’s a common fear (bug dark ghost) and effective against fighting and poison because of the “mind over matter” mentality)

LMAOO (is there an actual term for this I could’ve sworn there might’ve been but if not I’m just coining consciousness consultants instead) not only is it tabieita in every universe I guess it’s aibarou (this name…..aiba?? Baraiku?? These are all ass airou???????) PLEASE it would be funny if reader instead said “no way I know another one too! Can’t believe there’s three of us”

IGAGURI X READER IM DYINGGGF LMAOOO second arc new characters this is the boruto of the miraverse pokemon au (instead of pursuit its chase) tell me why i created that exact picture of grandpa nagi in my mind

IM CRUIGNFNFNFJSHAHA THAT WHOLE ASS DRAWING I HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM SCREAMING IN PUBLIC THIS JS A MASTERPIECE (you’ll progressively see all of my words become caps at some point I guarantee the more we chat the more I’ll use caps) ok but HOUNDOOMS SO CUTE?? The tail wag has me crying ok but where’s gyarados…./j Barou’s hair is MAJESTIC please include this in the epilogue im gonna go frame this in my room

Ok wait SPEAKING OF VISUALS have you ever considered designing their fits….like yk how pokemon characters have a very kinda unique sense of style that fits the series? And ofc specialty trainers usually dress accordingly but imagine like pulling up one of those piccrew generators and yk….

LAMAO FR imagine instead phanpy actually managed to evolve while they’re out and Karasu just facepalms like who tf is this (as if he’s recognizable with his hair down) and readers just like my phanpy evolved!! Thanks!!

LMAOA I’m kinda imagining it’s like Misty’s psyduck except they’re both like that HAHAH stop now I’m getting hyped up for the side stories omg air yuki Aryu styling shenanigans!!! I read that as “yuki taking Aryu to get groomed at first” HSHSHSHSS anyways!! No because imagine hiori finally walks out of the safari zone like covered in mud like “phew finally that Kangaskhan was MAD” only to see half his team missing like “wait where’s swanna nidoqueen and aurorus…” cue the Jurassic park sfx that’s aurorus screaming from in the safari zone and hioris like “oh ffs” and runs back in LMAOO tabieita boy failures so real if it’s not Karasu taking an L it’s otoya ok when you first said side story one of my first ideas was yayoi Karasu childhood interactions great minds think alike

HSHSSHSH I kinda had a feeling your post was referencing our convo but I was kinda hoping not because we write sm LMAOO I’m thinking about it now and I think id lose my mind CHRIS ORINCE FANBOY OTOYA WAIT DO IT imagine it’s like todo going to that (shit I forgot her name) idols meet and greet but instead it’s otoya HAHSAHAJ

Aiku helping his teammates relieve stress (according to him) but he’s the one becoming stress instead now so he’s taking it out on everyone LMAOO pause do we have an ewc…(estimated word count)

HAHSHAHA I’m also pursuit brain rotted I’m so committed to the story now it’s not even funny

Wait…pokemon based theme to foreshadow/drop hints about pursuit (not story wise just that it exists LMAO) WAITTTTT “choose your starter and get a fic/drabble/hc(idk wtv floats your boat LMAO)” idk abt the details of what starter means what but that’s a thought for later

ISAGIS SEXY COUSIN GOODBYE but so real for that HSBSHS omg wait I bet there’s probably some edits alr floating around with the crumbs we got via that trailer

HAHSBA THE USA EAGLE SCREECH YES LMFOAOA (THIS FAR??? I’d give up /j tumblr needs a better save feature or just a not delete feature) wait..you’re right….do we even get any feather aura until nel??? Because I wonder how many people end up putting two and two together and figure out that his name means crow

Mira alpha wolf era LMAOOO BUT FR I’ve never seen a really atrocious scene of nagi (except for maybe second selection after they beat Barou and he flops onto the top bunk his face looked kinda funky but wtv it was a silly moment) so very excited!!! I’m also worried for Barou LANAO but wait the hair down scene in the trailer!! Can’t wait for more of that (Karasu when)

NOOO YOUR GOOD I would fr just jump back in your inbox and be like “I need five business days to recover from this sorry” /j and I’m ngl my memory is so ass that sometimes when you respond to things I have to scroll all the way back up to my own ask to remember what we’re talking about HSHSSHSH so trust me if you don’t remember neither do I

Also wait Kaiser in pokemon has me crying banned because he pointed a gun at ash BYE LMFAOA

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO 90% of the time *** ****** is sae the other 10% it’s rin but i feel like given context you’ll be mostly able to figure out which one it is?? i think i’m in an enemies to lovers w sae or smth so i post abt him more KRJFJSJS only other *** ****** in bllk is reo but i love him i’d never censor him 😩

KALOS YUKI MY MAN also omg wait that’s so funny especially because otoya is a prince stan so it’s basically yuki just flexing because he can FJDJFJSJ like “oh you want to bully me??? your hero is my father figure 😜😴🤫” he’s actually so sassy but in an underrated way i love him

HELP because whenever oaeu aiku goes on one of his tangents abt how he’s the captain of the u20s i giggle like ok sure bro (love how this implies i don’t have control over oaeu aiku tbh i don’t i just sit at the keyboard and let his spirit flow through me and suddenly i have 3k words of aiku bullying everyone in his mind)

YESSS THAT’S EXACTLY THE VIBE I WAS GOING FOR like reo tullia nagi and reader wearing the little cowboy hats and everything LDJFSJAJ nagi chewing on a piece of wheatgrass i’m crying 😭 omg no because reo deadass thinks reader and her aegislash are like this tik tok (i always have a tik tok on hand) so he’s just like vaguely terrified of her LMAOAOA nagi’s too lucky she’s not outing him the way he outed reo 😩 reader >>>>

CAN THEIR DUO NAME BE SHOELIVER 😭😭😭😭🤩🤩🤩🤩 pronounced like shoe-liver (english pronunciations even though barou’s name is said more like sho-ei) HAHAHA never separated fr those two have an unbreakable bond 🙏🏻 help because i could actually see reader saying that like “damn didn’t know there were so many mega houndooms roaming around??” the only reason i can think that she’d realize aiku means barou is because this arc takes place after reader and nagi go through and watch all of barou’s old league battles so she knows barou is the only other person w a mega houndoom 😩

HELPP PURSUIT BORUTO I’M CRYING deadass though it could be niko as the bug catcher just imagine that mf with a spewpa 😭 for extra connectedness (never watched naruto/boruto but isn’t it like everyone is just someone’s son or smth) maybe his spewpa is tullia’s vivillon’s offspring LFJDSJS although ig niko is kinda shy too…hold on niko as aiku’s apprentice (like the oaeu) still with tullia’s vivillon’s baby, kurona just chilling and probably with like a wailord or smth, nagiy/n’s daughter with her mother’s aegislash, and kiyora as yukimiya’s successor (since he’s a dancer and all) nagiy/n’s daughter sees kiyora and is like “WOAH you look JUST like my brother but blue” HAHAHA and then wait tbh CHARLES could be the bug catcher and maybe shidou is his mentor??? i’m crying just imagine that wedding like the groom’s side is shidou partying it up (he probably dragged sae over from fucking johto or whatever region the itoshis live in) meanwhile the bride’s side is like former champion y/n l/n, former king of kalos kenyu yukimiya, flying type gym leader tabito karasu (“uncle tabito” on her mom’s side), famous breeder tullia ferraro, corporation heir reo mikage (“uncle reo” on her dad’s side), lazy hero seishiro nagi who was the face of the efforts against team x (reader was injured and he’s the one who rescued all of the trainers while she was battling barou so he got a lot of fame), fucking otoya?? no title for him (he insists on being called big o by the kids) and renowned pokémon professor oliver aiku…literally ALL of them are lowkey judging shidou except aiku who’s like hell yeah this is great LMAOAOA

I WAS CRYINGGG MAKING THE DRAWING pls barou’s hair cracked me up second only to mr mikage’s mario ass mustache 😭 i feel like nagiy/n’s daughter would def view houndoom as just a cute cuddly puppy since that’s how houndoom treats her hence why houndoom doesn’t have any of the skull motifs or the devil tail instead she’s just giving cutie puppy (also lowkey she probably combined houndoom and nagi’s arcanine into one dog shaped pokémon since i know for a FACT that arcanine was the number one stan of those children 😩) PLS I TRIED DRAWINF GYARADOS AND GAVE UP I’M NOT ARTISTICALLY INCLINED

LMAOO so i do have clear visions of what otoya and karasu wear so i tried drawing them (also in my mind chigiri just wears tan riding pants, a rugby shirt, and riding boots since he’s an ex racer but that’s basic enough that i didn’t draw it) obviously they look silly because a) i can’t draw and b) they’re meant to be goofy pokémon verse fits but here they are!!

^ also in my mind karasu’s coat and pants are the same purpley black as his hair/honchkrow’s feathers (both for aesthetic and to distinguish him from aiku who wears a white lab coat as all professors do) but i did not feel like coloring that anyways the gist as you can see is otoya = black turtleneck + black pants + black boots probably (not skin tight necessarily but def more fitted to not get in his way when he’s doing ninja bs) whereas karasu has this long coat to kind of match the bird vibe?? also he’s almost always wearing the super heavy duty falconing gloves especially when the birds are babies because they love perching on his arm and yayoi drilled into him how much it hurts when a raptor with enormous talons divebombs onto your unprotected wrist 😭 anyways no idea what the others might wear i’ll probably try to figure it out during their introductions (also like i said excuse the artistic skills this was more meant for me to have as a visual while writing but since you asked i thought i’d share LDJFSJSJSJ)

PLSSS I CAN IMAGINE THE HIORI ONE SO WELL i feel like the yuki + aryu one would be rlly cute we could see more of gagamaru in it too…pls karasu and otoya are consistently embarrassing themselves one or the other must be taking l’s at all times it’s just equilibrium 😭 imagine otoya’s like whatever you do DON’T act like nagi that man has negative rizz and karasu’s like “well he pulled y/n ya know…” and otoya’s like “yeah wtvr she’s crazy” JFKDJDNS they slander reader and tullia sm as if they are not literally the walking definition of losers??

OTOYA AT A CHRIS PRINCE MEET AND GREET PLEASE I’M CRYING AT THE VISUALLLL he would be the one who’s like “he shook my hand i’m never washing it again” and karasu’s like bro??? help omg ik which one you’re talking about…doesn’t the idol end up liking mai more??? imagine otoya brings karasu with him and chris prince ends up loving karasu like “wow you’re yayoi’s little brother?? you have a lot of potential!!” and otoya’s in the background like THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE

i think the barou version is probably going to end up at about the same length as the sae one!! we’re at 3k ish words rn and reader is just about to meet barou soooo there’s that 😭 this one is even more ridiculous than the sae version (aiku and niko kidnap barou) but i feel like barou lends himself to crack really well and barou fans are probs less picky so i think it’s okay (also PERSONALLY i find it funny and that’s all that matters fr)

nah because we’re coming up with pursuit boruto version atp it’s like a separate fandom /hj i’m actually really excited to write it!! just need to get on my grind for a bit and then we will get to pursuit hehe

THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING like maybe each type is a certain trope/theme and people have to find a pokémon that has the typing they want and send it in with the character they want…like say fire is best friends to lovers and flying is angst so someone could say “talonflame with karasu” or smth and i’d write an angsty best friends to lovers fic for him ykwim…it would require more effort on participant’s parts but considering i’ll probably limit it anyways and given how involved my request responses tend to be i think it’s fair and fun!! wait i could limit it to be like “help me build a pokémon team” and only have a certain number of slots available for the team or smth and that way i don’t get quite as many reqs as i did for the 500 event so i still have free time to write my own stuff

BRO I FR JUST STARED AT MY SCREEN i’m like obsessively saving the draft now…anyways he’s literally giving isagi but cuntier (sorry to isagi fans but karasu >>>>) LMAOAAO I NEED TO SEE HIM W THE EAGLE SCREECH yk that one crow panel of him in bm vs pxg like that panel SPECIFICALLY timed with the screech it’s a must

hair down barou 🤤🤤🤤 nah because call me reo the way i’m nagi’s number one glazer /j i’ve seen SOOO much nagi hate online recently it’s crazy i know the dude bros will start waffling on abt his comeback as soon as they remember what nagi’s built like again 😭 everyone on tumblr’s posting abt how reo’s getting blamed for nagi’s downfall erm i haven’t seen a single post blaming him…i’ve seen posts saying reo isn’t a player who they’d necessarily pick as top ten in the verse which i can see…the argument is that his best position is as a sub because he can fill any spot but why put someone who can only copy an ability to 99% in a position when you can just put the og 100% there…kinda like how reo can copy sae to 99% but no one would pick reo over sae even though reo’s technically more complete 🤔 i think copy’s one of those abilities that would be op if reo was the mc but as it is i do somewhat agree that reo is better suited as a substitute given the way the manga is written even though he’s also quite talented BUT that’s not really reo hate that’s just examining decisions kaneshiro’s made?? i see a lotttt of people slandering nagi though and saying he’ll never come back and that he sucks even though he made the goal of the century…ik ego said the five revolver whatever the fuck it’s called is not reproducible but honestly i feel like that’s kind of nagi’s thing?? he consistently pulls off impossible goals which he could never do again but that’s just how he works (and why prince said he needs to work on his creativity…if he could just be the kind of player who can use his insane talent to pull off crazy plays wherever he is the way he was doing in second selection he’d be undefeatable)

wait i just went on an entire rant abt nagi slander but this edit makes me lol so i can’t even be mad KEFJSJKS HIS FACE KILLS ME 😭😭😭

kaiser in pokémon is literally just kaiser in bllk bro WOULD point a revolver at isagi ash i’m crying LMAOAAO

nah i fear i did crash out but luckily it didn’t delete my ENTIRE response so it’s all good!! HAHAAH yeahhh sometimes i have to close the draft and go back to our old convos because i’m like “wait what is this in reference to”

[greentrickster]

@baggebythesea #Gytha's no quitter #Does it really counts as sins of the flesh if the flesh is second hand? Something for Father Thomas to consider #Because Gytha considers it A LOT

Father Thomas: Gytha's flesh is still first-hand, so yes, it counts. (takes a hit of the communion wine)

baggebythesea: #Due to shenanigans - the gossips (who quickly picks up on the fact that Gytha seems to show a lot more ankles these days) - #decide that she must be Taken Advantage Of by Master Frankenstein #Which - while not unheard of - is supposed to be handled with a certain level of finesse #Since everyone in the parish knows perfectly well Victor's level of chill they take upon themselves to educate him in The Ways Of Gentlemen #This does exactly nothing to reduce Victor's stress level

XD I love it, but even Gytha's not that scandalous - it's still the 1800s, she could absolutely get let go without reference for that sort of thing (not at all a good state for a single working-class woman in her thirties to be in that era, she'd likely never find another position after that). The showing ankle is happening by adjusting her skirts juuuuuust~ that much higher if she sits down on a stump next to Adam in the forest to luncheon together, or if she has to go through a muddy bit and hold up her skirts to keep them clean. Gytha may be thirsty as hell for this man, but she's not going to stop being respectable about it just because she's technically a ruined woman!

The frustrating part is that Adam, due to his everything, doesn't actually know any of these social cues she's throwing at him. This leads to her encouraging him to start borrowing Mistress Elizabeth Frankenstein's novels - she has some works of Austin that, for all they are somewhat older, are still quite popular.

He ends up misunderstanding this slightly as well, and ends up reading several of them aloud to Gytha, allowing progress to be made in a somewhat unorthodox way, but, nevertheless, progress! Gytha does get a little swoony over Mr. Darcy, because he's awkward, grumpy, and quite the sweetest gentleman alive beneath all that, much like her Adam.

Also handsome.

Mustn't forget that.

Adam: (an understandable combination of grumpy and hurt by the last one) You are having cruel fun with me.

Gytha: I most assure you, I am not.

And that's when the first forehead kiss happens. It's not a quick dart in and back sort of kiss either, it's a good solid one, and even once it's done she's slow to draw back, just taking a moment to enjoy seeing him so close like this.

This is also when it first clicks to Adam that, Oh. I think she might... actually like me like me. And he notices a little wisp of her hair has come loose and is falling in her face, so, in a very hesitant attempt to check if he's reading the signs right, he slowly reaches out and tucks it behind her ear again, and she leans into his hand a little, and-!

-and he needs to find someone to talk to about this beyond Gytha, because God as his witness, he has no idea what he's doing or how to handle this.

Gytha: I think I know just the person!

Which is how, a few weeks later, Father Thomas comes to find a Truly Enormous Man, wearing a large cloak and with his face mostly hidden by an equally large hat and scarf, sitting in his confessional.

Father Thomas just starts leaving the communion wine in the confessional after that one. It's easier for everyone.

The entire parish gossip chain is also now alight with the fact that Father Thomas is giving Master Frankenstein fairly routine dirty/disapproving looks now, and oh, what must he have done now?

Victor: (meeting Father Thomas's gaze with terror and (for once) the correct assumption that he knows)

Father Thomas: (does indeed knows, and wishes very much that he did not knows, he handled Adam's everything better than pretty much everyone else who isn't Gytha has so far (in part because of prolonged exposure to Gytha, in part because Gytha herself helped Adam prep on how to handle this) but, God as his witness, seminary did not prepare him for this, what is with this parish?!?)

Frankenstein AU where the Creature, upon returning to seek terrible vengeance on Victor after realizing the tragic existence he's been forced into, takes a few days extra to actually, you know, observe Victor and see what he's like, to learn how best to enact his revenge. And he comes to the conclusion that, "Actually, I don't need to do anything, this idiot's going to ruin his own life without any outside interference, and I kinda wanna see how he does it."

Victor then proceeds to continue with his previously demonstrated levels of making good life choices, while now also constantly looking over his shoulder for his Creation and having the vapors at every little thing because oh noes, it's The Monster come back to Get Him-!!!

The Creature: (watching all this unfold through binoculars like it's a soap opera while sneaking in to help himself to Victor's larder and library when he feels like it, and also occasionally hiding small but vital objects, like Victor's keys or shaving blade, in weird spots in the house) Wow, it really does take an incredibly smart man to be quite this stupid, doesn't it?

[nysus-temple]

BEHOLD ! My bullshit... Again.

i probably shouldn't be showing this and keep it a part of my private life, but have ya'll heard of Miitopia? No? Great. Then this will be worse, have fun listening to my... thingies !

If you own a Switch i REALLY recommend getting the game, you could literally make your cousin fight your cat if you wanted to, you create the characters of the entire game and the gameplay style is REALLY fun.

In my case, well, i have two teams: the main gang of this blog and a Greek heroes gang. i apologize for the randomness. Also money doesn't grow on trees and therefore i don't have a way to post the direct screenshots from the game, so i apologize for the bad quality since you can't see very well the details and the effort i put onto them. Cries.

THE GANG !

Apollo is a mage! ( come on, it fits him ) He has a little drawing of the Sun around his left eye and loves shiny things !

Artemis is an archer ! ( well, an elf, actually, since only that class allows said unit to use a bow ) You know all the times she's represented with a moon around her head? Well, she has one on her forehead and the bow she's actually using is called a Moon Bow.

Hermes is a warrior ! ( i WAS gonna make him a thief, but it was a weaker class and for me Hermes is strong as hell, but with a good heart ) He has freckles messy hair and i love his armor. Can't say the same about the sword, but out of all of them, it's the one that fits him the most, so here we are.

Dionysus is a chef ! ( because him slapping enemies with a frying pan is pretty neat, it's something he would do ) i wanted his hair to be longer, but it was very similar to Apollo's, so he ended up like this. His frying pan is purple because who doesn't associate Dionysus with purple. ( no it's not because of the grapes )

Now, the second team, THE HEROES !

i don't think i ever got to say who were my favourites... so here they are xD

Odysseus is a scientist ! ( he WOULD be one if he could ) He throws a literal black whole onto enemies and the jar he uses is the closest thing i could find to a vase, or an amphora- yeh.

Medea is a mage ! ( like Apollo, but what else was she gonna be? A cat? ) For some reason i made her blonde, she's... NEVER depicted as such, if i'm aware. i apologize for that.

Atalanta is a warrior ! ( LIKE HERMES I KNOW but what else could she be? A tank? ) Again she's never depicted as blonde, as long as i know. And even worse, who wore twintails back in those times? No one. But here she is. Being something. i was trying really bad to be creative.

Perseus is a thief ! ( THANKS i'm aware this should have been Hermes' class, it's just very weak and not that useful, as i said ) He has freckles just like Hermes, because i thought that was nice. i also love his clothes.

Some shenanigans that happened in the game:

The main bosses were Cronous and Chaos using Rhea's face. And believe me, that was pretty funny to watch.

Apollo cooked something for Hermes, but apparently he got the sugar and salt wrong and it didn't end well.

Odysseus and Medea were on that boat, but Odysseus started doing acrobatics for some reason and fell. Medea didn't feel like rescuing him, apparently.

Dionysus and his mom, Persephone ! Her hair strands aren't white, they're a more light purple, it's the camera dskdjkdf

Also, yeh, they have a horse. i named him Pegasus like the one we know, his bestie is Perseus and he only shows his wings with Apollo because no one else can imitate Zeus' fury and start throwing lighting towards the enemies except him. No, that's- for real. He does that. Also he has horns because... Horns !

Persephone's eyes are really pretty and i wanted to show them too

The story of this picture is Dionysus holding a very, VERY big gurdge towards Apollo, to the point were he didn't want to attack the enemies ( Achilles moment? Kind off ) and Hermes had to, literally, slap him in order for him to stop behaving like that.

He still didn't forgive Apollo until THREE days had passed. Holy.

BONUS ! My hermenysus scrumbs:

Imagine lurking through the "greek mythology" tag and you find... This.

[opaljm]

scream your panties (m) – pjm

➺ pairing: jimin x female reader

➺ genres/tropes: fluff; humor; smut; minor angst; panhellenic college au ; established relationship ; halloween shenanigans

➺ warning/content tags: 18+; swearing (cuz issa fic by me), extremely inaccurate depictions of Greek life (I used PBP because I have friends from there and it’s the only one I feel safe making fun of); mutually jealous Jimin and Y/N who are in a deeply symbiotic relationship and are somehow the same person, sexualized Toy Story Halloween costumes, Y/N is prone to murderous fits of rage but so is Jimin (he just pretends he isn’t to look more civilized), haunted houses are scary (includes jump scares, scary themed rooms, and also taegiseok n yeonbin in creepy costumes), fighting n misunderstandings (gets scary for a sec but its quick like ripping off a bandage), smut: boob enthusiast Jimin, tons of breast play n nipple play, chest enthusiast Y/N cuz Jimin has nipple piercings 😏, Jimin likes to spank you both inside and outside the bedroom, hand job, unprotected penetrative rough sex (multiple times), Jimin n Y/N get randomly into the feels all the fucking time so if you hate intimacy this fic aint the one for you, copious marking/biting, spit play, panty thief Jimin returns (sorry but this is canon to my Jimins I can’t make him stop 🤡), big dick size king Jimin, creampies/pussy stuffing, blow job, sixty-nine action (yes they blow and eat out each other at the same time), fingering, multiple orgasms, riding, cock warming, showering together

➺ word count: 17.4k

➺ summary: As your midterms have ended and Halloween has arrived, you are looking forward to a pleasant time relaxing and enjoying the festivities at your sorority and Jimin's frat houses. Luck is not in your favor, though, because things keep going wrong like a trail of dominoes falling – the only upside to your slowly deteriorating day being that you get to end it with your boyfriend's delicious self between your legs.

➺ author’s note: Yo sorry for being a hot mess 😭. I had to change my fic idea for this collab last minute (literally on like Oct. 29) and since then it's been a mad dash to get this fic out. I didn't abandon the vampire fic idea, I'm just gonna write it outside a collab with deadlines don't fret! Anyways I hope you really enjoy this fic, it was supposed to be a short lil cute pwp and I made it a super long smutty mammoth fic because I'm obsessed with Jimin 🙄. Btw I amped up the steamy factor and length cuz I'm going on a writing break after Nov. 15 since I’m not really going to have much of free time to write. I’ll still attempt to post once a month but if that doesn’t happen please don’t pressure me about it? I posted like 100k for you guys this year and the year isn’t even over. I hope this tides you over until you get the second half of LOTL. Cuz like, is it a Halloween fic? Sure. But also, do sororities and frats always have random ass costume parties in the middle of the year? Yeah, man. You can read this fic at any time of the year honestly. Please leave some love for this fic if you did like it 💕 feedback is always incredible to receive. The validation I get on each fic I post increases my confidence and allows me to feel secure in continuing to write and post more stories for you guys. I love you a lot and I’ll miss you when I’m on my writing hiatus. These exams are absolutely critical though; I can’t manage both the stress of tumblr and school at the same time for Nov-Jan tbh.

This fic is a part of Jimin’s Sunset Spooktober! Banner made by my darling @knjsnoona & me! It’s just collaboration after collaboration in this household lmaoo 🥰. Beta-read by @jimilter she’s on payroll now! Jimin writes the checks to my lovely bff for all of her help (this is a joke I hope you understand that 😭). I feel like I should credit Ash as a ghost writer. I mean she didn't write this fic but she basically could've with how much I told her and how much she helped. I’m truly blessed to have such lovely and supportive angels as friends 🥺

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It’s hot in your bedroom but you don’t want to push the male who’s got his face buried in your chest off your body.

Stifling a sigh, your left hand caresses his scalp, long fingers threading themselves into the messy overgrown gunmetal gray strands. Jimin slides his palms over your sides, grasping a hold of your tiny waist and pulling you closer to him as you throw a leg over his hips. His hands move north as he brushes them past your ribs and grabs your bare breasts, uncovered since you are mostly nude underneath him and only wearing a scrap of red lace to cover your lower half. He presses your breasts together, bunching the round full globes together before swiping a thumb over the puffy nipples until they start to harden. He finishes the job by enclosing his mouth over one of them and then the other, sucking and nibbling on those stiffening points until they tighten into sensitive, rigid peaks.

It’s not unusual for you to be wrapped around your boyfriend’s body, his slim yet muscular limbs grasping you like a vice, on a Friday afternoon. You don’t have classes on the last day of the week, only a morning shift as a writing tutor at the student center, and Jimin only has his Philosophy discussion on Fridays, led by the course’s TA. The two of you always find your ways back to each other on this day, hence, making up for the lost time over the rest of the week.

Today, you met him for lunch at the Panda Express on campus and then walked back with him to your apartment. Which brings us back to now – Jimin with his shirt off, only wearing the sky blue jeans that make his ass look divine, hovering over your body with his overly long, steel colored bangs falling into his eyes as he sucks on your tits and hums absentmindedly.

The two of you have come to prefer your place over his for moments like these. In freshman year, you were in a triple in the dorms while he had a double with Kim Taehyung, so you two would usually find yourselves fooling around in random empty classrooms in the Physics department. In sophomore year, you lived in your sorority which had much stricter rules than the apartment Jimin had gotten with a couple of his friends. But this year, Jimin is living in his fraternity and you are the one with the apartment which you don’t have to share with anyone. You’ve slept over at the frat before; Beta Tau Sigma doesn’t care if they have girls over, but sometimes you both prefer the privacy here. Jimin and you are usually insatiable; two and a half years together and you’re both still exceeding horny when it comes to each other, and if Jimin’s frat knew how often you two actually were fucking rather than doing anything else, they would never let him live it down as they hurled teasing but impressed compliments his way.

“Jimin?” you murmur, tightening your grip to tilt his head upwards so he can meet your gaze.

Jimin looks at you, heated dark brown eyes under hooded eyelids, his soft silvery hair a rumpled mess clinging to his forehead. “I love you,” he mutters, locking his eyes with yours, pushing his lips out into a puckered pout that eagerly seek yours.

Fuck. He’s so hot.

You move your head towards his and sigh as your lips meet. Jimin slots his lips over yours again and again, their plush pillowiness feeling like heaven against your mouth. He languidly darts his tongue out to press against your lips until they part enough that he can slip it inside. As your tongues twine together, Jimin sucks on yours, his cheeks hollowing out. A moan slips out from you, unbidden as you’re unable to control your urges around this man. One would think that time would make it easier for you, make you less susceptible to the temptation that was Park Jimin, but they would be wrong.

You still make a valiant effort to pull away from him, breaking apart from the kiss. You press your palm against his chest, flush against the Nevermind tattoo crawling up the right side of his torso, to keep him from drawing even closer to you although his grip around your waist keeps you from getting too far.

“Jimin,” you whine trying to engage your boyfriend into conversation.

The male lets his face fall into your chest, banging his forehead lightly against your sternum, “No,” he protests, his straight, dark eyebrows getting pushed together as he furrows his forehead. “Lemme kiss you. I just wanna spend time with you here in your bed until I’m forced to leave and help the Beta Tau Sigma set up for the haunted house. You’ll let me fuck you, won’t you baby?” he needles, “We have all night to talk.”

You scowl, not that he can see it, and push him off of you. Jimin rolls his body around, flopping next to you in bed, immediately wincing when he notices your narrowed eyes. “What is it, Y/N? What’s wrong?” He asks it sweetly and it seems at odds with how his previous sentence caught your ire and made you instantly see red.

“Why do you never want to talk to me?” you demand, crossing your hands over your bare breasts. You irately sweep your long mess of dark hair over your shoulder to let it hang down your back.

You barely got to speak to him this week; when you delivered a bag of hot tofu stew and rice to the study room he had booked, he snapped at you when you hung around, though you were only planning on sticking around long enough to kiss Jimin and force him to put down his books to eat. But this feels different from how Jimin goes radio silent during the weeks when he has a heavy school load filled with studying for exams. Both of you were done with midterms. You wouldn’t have tests again until finals. Jimin even made up his mind to come out and celebrate Halloween with you and his frat, even though he has his Autumn showcase the next evening.

You don’t know if you’re being entirely too sensitive but you don’t like this. It’s hurtful that Jimin says he doesn’t want to talk to you right now—right?

Jimin stares at you, pink mouth wide open as he looks aghast. “I know. I messed up. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have worded it like that, but you know I love talking to you. That’s all we ever do, baby. I text you more out of everyone. I facetime you at all hours of the day. It’s never ever a silent meal when we’re eating together. And I love every bit of it. You know that, right? Y/N, I just. Baby, I miss you. I haven’t seen you all week. I want physical intimacy with you, not just emotional.”

Your frown softens. Fuck, you are being overemotional. He’s right. He’s a great boyfriend. He always tries his best to stay close to you and make your relationship seem special. You were especially craving Jimin’s soft words after so long without (or so it felt, anyways), said in that husky yet sweet toned drawl, fanning over your heated skin as he delivered them with hard kisses from his plush, Bratz doll-esque lips. Your love language was words of affirmation, after all. But in that way, perhaps Jimin needed to slowly ease his way back into talking to you. He did get frighteningly shy. Your sweet loveable boyfriend grew quiet and uncomfortable with people, even those he had known his entire life if he hadn’t seen them for a while. It never took him too long to get back into the flow of his old ways, but he was always a little awkward at the beginning. How had you forgotten that?

You bite your lips as you frown and you let yourself get wrapped in his embrace again, remembering that Jimin craved physical intimacy with you and that that was his love language. For a moment, you allow yourself to enjoy the warmth from his hold, cherishing the way he buries his nose into your crown and tenderly drops light kisses on the top of your head while you attempt to calm your breathing and reign in your emotions. This has nothing to do with him. You’re overreacting.

Striving for a lighthearted tone, you let out a hopefully airy laugh that doesn’t ring too hollow. You brush your fingers along his spine, where you can feel the ring of bones going up his back, softly letting your fingertips tickle his sensitive skin.

“We’ll have sex, I promise. I just need to talk to you about tonight first, before I forget.”

“What’s there to talk about, babe? You got me the costume; I’ll wear it and show up to the Pi Beta Phi manor and we’ll win the thing. And then we go over to my frat to go through the haunted house.”

There were multiple reasons why Jimin walked you home today, but the most important one in your eyes is to pick up his Halloween costume. You have grand aspirations of winning the costume contest at the function your sorority is holding. The winner of the couple event will not only get a month off of required duties at the sorority but also a weekend stay at a fancy hotel room in the city. You are so tired of the mac n cheese lunches they held for philanthropy events. You gain ten pounds, or so it feels, each time. And the date parties? The themes are always so weird and unique that you have to buy a completely new outfit for yourself each time because you can’t reuse anything that was already in your closet. That’s not even the worst of it but you’ve gotten your point across. This sorority is bleeding you dry.

“Ugh, the haunted house,” you groan, burrowing your face into Jimin’s shoulder. His skin is warm and flushed, but he smells amazing and his hugs always give you the instant boost of serotonin you desperately need. Which you now need more than ever. Tonight has to be good for both of you.

Jimin thinks you’re only upset because you hate being scared and bemoans, “Hey! You said that if I let you pick the costumes you would come with me to my Beta Tau’s event too. It’s not Jack and Sally, is it?” His lower lip juts out into a pout that you’re too distracted to notice.

“I thought you guys would throw a Halloween party,” you grumbled.

“We’re doing that too, babe. It’s just half the first floor and all of the second floor we’re converting.”

You suddenly remember the second part of Jimin’s question which makes you laugh lightly, more genuinely this time, before pressing a soft kiss against his throat, “Sorry, ’Min, I didn’t have time to hand make costumes for The Nightmare Before Christmas. Next time, okay? I still think this is good. We could win.”

“What is it?” he asks, sounding full of suspicion. But his attention is wavering again and he’s more focused on groping your ass and pulling on your red lace panties before they snap back softly against your skin.

“You’ll see when you get ready,” you murmur, “But, Jimin,” you hedge.

“Hmm?” He's not paying attention at all. Not when he gets to grip at your luscious hips and squeeze your juicy ass.

“I need you to look very sexy. Pull out all the stops when you’re getting ready, baby.” It’s not that Jimin doesn’t look good when he doesn’t put in effort. He has a casual beauty that is heightened by his effortless style. But you need him to look lethal. Park Jimin when he wants to slay is a whole other kind of demon, one that you are glad is your boyfriend. You would cry if you got to see Jimin looking fine as hell but he wasn’t going home with you.

He bends his neck, nuzzling his face into your chest again, “Sure thing, baby. I won’t forget. Do you need to do my makeup? Should I just ditch helping with the setup?”

You tighten your grip, “Stay with me. Fuck Beta Tau Sigma.”

He chortles, letting out peals of pleasured laughter, “Babe. I wish.” Jimin’s so fucking cute, you wanna pat his head and thus you immediately do so, not even attempting to curb the urge, and then you finger comb back his silver gray locks that you had twisted into a mess earlier.

“No, you don’t need any face makeup, unless you want to. You just need to look hot and be shamelessly confident. Maybe you can channel Seokjin?” you suggest. You heard that Seokjin has a nautical themed costume to wear tonight. If he’s going as a sexy merman that bares all, then Jimin could probably stand to borrow some of his confidence.

Jimin narrows his eyes, looking affronted, tightening his grip on one asscheek before spanking it loudly, “I don’t need to channel Seokjin hyung when I can channel myself, Y/N.”

“Okay, okay,” you easily acquiesce, your own hand moving down to your backside and attempting to rub the reddened flesh. “You’re right, but… remember to do that please.”

“Okay, I don’t get all this remembering business. Y/N, I always look hot,” Jimin tilts his head looking down at you, “What the fuck are you dressing me up as, dude?”

You blink. “Something sexy?”

“Then explain your comment or I’m pushing you off me. You don’t deserve me or my body,” he sasses, already with his hands on your shoulders, prepared to throw you off. “Y/N, you do think I’m the hottest guy you’ve ever seen or been with, right?”

You nervously giggle and lightly scream. How the fuck do you explain that you need Jimin to pull off a very specific look without spoiling the surprise and telling him what it is? “Of course, I think you’re the most attractive man that’s ever lived. Jimin, you are pure aesthetic excellence,” you quickly interject.

“You know how there are several kinds of attractive men? I need you to put on the costume first and let that influence how you do your hair. Like remember when we watched 50 Shades of Grey and you said you were Christian Chim Chim. Don’t fucking do that shit. I need—oh shit, you’re right. I need you to channel yourself. Baby, when you pick your filter for tonight, I need you to be the frattiest, most cocky, and confident fuckboy ever. Give your entire frat a run for their money. Baby, you need to be able to get any guy or girl. That Jimin. The one that bagged me. Be that Jimin.”

“Wow, I didn’t think you were going in that direction,” he laughs, sheepishly, “I came at you too hard. Of course, I know my girlfriend is fucking attracted to me. Sorry, babe, my head isn’t right this week.”

You look up at Jimin, “What’s wrong?” the words aren’t delivered lovingly – no, they’re delivered like a threat; like you’re fully prepared to go find the bitch or asshole who knocked down Jimin’s self esteem and tear them a new one. Nobody gets to hurt your baby like that. Not even you. And if you did do it, accidentally, you would usually wallow in a pool of despair ,begging for Jimin’s forgiveness while at the same time knowing you didn’t deserve it.

And that had only happened once and only because you didn’t know that his hand size was a trigger for him. They’re bigger than yours by a centimeter, though his pinky is about a millimeter or two smaller and you had laughed about how you found it funny that your pinky was longer. But then you cried yourself to sleep when you noticed that Jimin had gone quiet for the rest of the date and didn’t even bother to kiss you goodnight before leaving.

Right now, Jimin snorts, “I’m just being dramatic. Jungkook said I looked like a hot mess this week. And I know that my hair looked like a haystack and my clothes weren’t coordinated, but it’s not like I had time to blow dry my hair or plan outfits or even breathe.”

“Well, Jungkook’s an ugly jock, so what does he know about sexiness?” you scowl, “Stupid fucker with his big, ugly muscles and his meatheaded coconut shaped skull.”

“I have muscles,” Jimin interrupts, rolling the two of you around again until he's caging you under his body. His hands are right by your ears, fingers splayed out and his 13 tattoo looks so starkly black from where it is on his flexed left wrist. The devious male smirks before he subtly rolls his hips into you, hard zipper from the denim pressing against your messy and flushed front.

“Sexy muscles,” you sigh immediately, “Jungkook wishes he looked like you.”

He bites down on his lower lip to hide his smile but it still breaks free, the curve of his lips curling up as it spreads wide to show how happy he is. “Pretty girl,” he mumbles, “I want to destroy you but you’re too sweet.”

At that, your legs immediately surge upwards to cross over his ass, thighs hugging either side of his hips while meeting those shallow rolls of his. You gyrate your own hips until you can get your folds perfectly aligned with his zipper and his cock beneath it, an angry hard length that’s desperate to break free.

Jimin inhales loudly, a sharp sound that makes your skin breakout with goosebumps even with your warm skin pressed against his hot flushed one. You’re hyper aware of his every move and sound. When he moves his hands over your ass-cheeks, palming them, his dexterous fingers are restless as they seek to make you whimper and keen before he squeezes your ass, pushing you up to draw your hips to him until your pelvis is flush against his. He grasps you so tightly that there’s barely a hairsbreadth of space in between the two of you. Jimin loves going commando and his cock head breaches the waistband of his jeans, the tip stabbing you in the belly button because of its monstrous length.

He’s looking down at you with his eyelids hooded. His blackened eyes are dark from desire, the pupils so blown out you can barely make out the brown irises that edge them. The heat terrifies you but also makes you yearn for more, and you haphazardly move your face in the direction of his, almost missing his mouth as you sloppily join lips together. Your arms go up, twining around his neck, both your hands have their fingers buried in his gunmetal colored locks, palms supporting and cradling the back of his head lovingly.

His jaw almost crashes into your chin as he vigorously leans into the kiss, greedily inhaling through his nose, reluctant to pull apart from your mouth as he keeps swiping his lips over yours, sucking at your plump lower lip and nibbling at your cupid’s bow, before he eases you into opening your mouth again. All the while he’s got a hold on your ass, using it to further push you into him instead of crashing down on you, suffocating you with his heavy weight and pressing you into the mattress. The act is thoughtful, though born out of desperation, and your fronts collide with each other, your breasts clinging to his chest as your hardened nipples brush against his metal adorned ones. You hiss when you feel the round ends of his piercings drag against your soft skin, dimpling into them when you’re pushed even tighter against Jimin.

One of Jimin’s hands wander from your ass to clench your thigh, gripping your smooth, supple flesh as his fingers, with the nails slightly grown out since he had forgotten to cut them this week, dig into your skin while he pulls your legs apart and bucks against you. It’s not hard enough to truly hurt but his fingernails do leave temporary red crescent indentations and make you whimper from the tiny bit of pain.

Your tongue, meanwhile, is still roving around Jimin’s mouth and brushes over his reddened swollen lips, and you can taste the mint from the Listerine strip he had dissolved on his tongue after lunch, as well as the peach flavored lip balm he had swiped from your book bag. After a particularly hard nip from Jimin’s teeth, you break apart from his lips to let out an embarrassingly loud wanton moan. He doesn’t let a single second go to waste as he drags his lips along your jaw, nibbling along the way as he moves lower in the direction of your throat. Once there, he bites roughly at the sensitive skin above the hollow of your neck, sucking on it harshly until it leaves a blossoming mark of reds and violets. As he darts his tongue out to soothe the aching flesh, he sneakily dips it into the hollow of your neck and then your collarbones as well, messily licking up the flushed expanse of your skin.

Jimin soon finds his way back to your cherished breasts that he loves so ardently. As he wraps his mouth around a still angrily reddened and tender nipple, you make your hand sneak in between the two of your abdomens, not playing the role of an idle participant. Your hand grips at the front of his pants, holding his cock against your palm as your thumb rubs at its swollen head. You stop your movement over his dick to turn your attention to undoing his button and Jimin growls out in frustration, biting down on your soft underboob, leaving a half circle of teeth marks.

“Chill, baby,” you soothe him, and as soon as you free his cock from its confines, your hand tightly grasps the member to stroke it.

The tight, suctioning grip of your fingers and palm around his heated shaft makes him sigh lewdly in relief as his eyes flutter closed in ecstasy, his long dark eyelashes fanning the apples of his cheeks. He slumps against you, his sweaty forehead pressed against yours as one of his dampened locks of hair falls over his left eye. His nose brushes against yours, and if you wanted, you could place gentle open mouthed kisses on his slightly parted lips, but you ignore them to focus on his cock, while Jimin turns his attention to wetly press his mouth against your cheek and then your jaw.

His moans go up a pitch, filling your ears with his musical sounds of pleasure. Biting your bottom lip, your teeth sinking into it as you press your forehead against Jimin’s even harder, you switch up your form and go to fondle his balls with your nimble fingers. As you tug on them, Jimin lets out an anguished sound that's a cross between agony and elation.

“Y/N, don’t. Don’t tease me. Please?” he begs, “I haven’t had time to get off all week. Baby, please. I’m gonna blow my load. Let me fuck you, beautiful.”

You quit teasing him and instead, your hands got to his waistband on either side, fully determined to shove his pants down his thighs. You don’t even need them down fully, just enough so that Jimin could fuck you without any complications.

He backs up from you and you sigh in discontentment the second Jimin’s flushed peaches n’ cream skin is no longer clinging to yours as the male hops off your bed to tear his jeans fully off his legs. He struggles a little, jumping lightly as the tight material clings to his sweaty thighs and you almost swoon when you see his ass jiggle. What was that thing Doja Cat said? Oh yes, “if you could see it from the front wait till you can see it from the back.” And you can definitely see Jimin’s from the front while also confirming that yes, the backside view is even more mouthwatering.

The pants successfully taken off and thrown to a far corner of the room, Jimin immediately hurls his whole body onto the bed, catching himself with those toned arms whose biceps have started to look shockingly large in the past couple of months and made you demand Jimin carry you everywhere around because he was definitely strong enough to. The thought makes you smile and you immediately smack a kiss against Jimin’s lips because he always carried you whenever you asked.

“Hi, baby,” he whispers against your lips, nuzzling his nose against yours. His thick thighs are bracketing yours as Jimin hovers above your lap, his cock bobbing against your pelvis and its head getting caught onto your lace underwear as it soaks it with precum. As he pulls your panties off, he asks, “Can I keep these? I’ll return them to you later. Hand washed and folded.”

You snicker, “Sicko,” teasing him, but then you press your lips against his before they can droop down into a frown. “Yeah, go ahead, baby. Thanks for remembering that they don’t go into the washer.”

And then you and Jimin are finally getting to the main event. Bare as always, because while you had been on the pill since you were fifteen, Jimin and you hadn’t started having condomless sex until the third month of dating. But once you started, you never went back. Your clit doesn’t need much to get it going and you’re already gushing like a broken faucet so Jimin thrusts his cock into you without much pomp or circumstance. As always, you gasp at the intrusion. Not only does your boyfriend have a sizable length, but he’s also girthy as hell and whenever he first fills you up, he takes your breath away.

According to Jimin, it’s because you don’t work out and you’re possibly asthmatic. At that you always smack the back side of his head and tell him no, it’s grossly romantic that he can take your breath away with his fine ass dick game, and your lung capacity is fine for someone who wasn’t in the church choir for twelve years. Yes, your boyfriend is a former church boy. If only Father Thomas could see how low he had fallen. But compliments about Jimin’s dick always makes the cocky, pun intended, jerk smirk like a self-satisfied Cheshire cat and giggle adorably. He is a stunning contradiction of a man. Sometimes you want to suffocate him with your thighs, other times with a pillow.

He shallowly thrusts in you once, twice before he unexpectedly takes almost his entire dick out of your folds before slamming back into you so vigorously that it makes your thighs quiver, wrapped as they are around his waist. He’s so deep in you that you can feel the clean shaven base of his cock pressed against your mons. From there on it’s a frantic joining of the two of your bodies as Jimin furiously pounds into you, letting out all of his frustrations from the past week onto your body in the form of turbulent love making. You hold on for dear life, clutching onto his broad shoulders as your mouth slides against Jimin’s ear, softly whispering how much you love him and how you’ll always be there for him and how there’s no one else in the world more perfectly suited for you than your beloved boyfriend.

When he finally cums into you, a messy and molten flow of whiteness that paints your insides and then leaks out from the overflow, proof that your poor darling truly didn’t have a moment recently to let off some steam, the male wearily drags his body away from yours so he can return with a damp cloth to clean you up between your legs. As you drowsily look up at him and make grabby hands, he gently slaps them away, before placing a loving kiss on your forehead and brushing back your hair, tucking in a lock behind your ear.

“I need to go, baby,” he bemoans, “But I’ll see you tonight, okay? I’m setting an alarm on your phone to wake you up in an hour so you don’t oversleep and then have to rush to get ready.”

“Sweet baby,” you murmur, locking your arms around his neck and keeping him in place.

“Considerate baby,” Jimin argues, tenderly moving his hands up to encircle your wrists and pull your arms away from him so he’s no longer trapped in your hold. “I love you, Y/N.”

“Love you,” you parrot drowsily, your eyes slowly falling shut as Jimin walks around your room to gather his clothes and then get ready to leave. He remembers to grab the shopping bag from Nordstrom you stuffed his costume in, not that you would ever shop there to buy a one time Halloween costume. It’s more likely that you reused the bag. He squints in confusion when all he sees is a mess of brightly colored fabric within it but he just shrugs, too tired from the sex to work up enough brain power to guess what his costume is. He then heads out the door, not forgetting to lock it behind him.

When you wake up to your annoying ass alarm an hour later—now why the fuck did Jimin use the quacking ducks preset as the ringtone? You feel boneless yet still exhausted. You tiredly drag yourself into the shower to get the smell of sex off your body and wash your hair, though it’s going to be hidden under a wig, just so you can feel squeaky clean before you put on your costume.

You and Jimin are dressing up as Ken and Barbie from Toy Story 3, and in your opinion the costumes don’t look half bad. You were running late with the costume planning in between everything you had on your plate this month but a successful run at the thrift store has given you plenty to work with. You ended up with explosively colored outfits for both of you, although they were more loosely inspired than exact replicas. After all, this is Greek life, you have to amp up the sex appeal for both of your costumes.

For yourself, this means that instead of wearing Barbie’s electric blue jumpsuit, you are wearing a bright turquoise bodysuit with a deep plunging neckline that divides your bust in two and goes all the way to your midriff, fortunately keeping your navel concealed even as it dips dangerously low. The pink belt that goes around Barbie’s waist is instead a hot pink belted choker around your neck but you are rocking the green, white, pink, and blue 80s inspired leg warmers she was wearing as well as patent leather stiletto pumps in the same pink as your collar. Your look is finished off with a wild blue smokey eye and iridescent pale pink lips, and after you are done with your makeup, you struggle to make your synthetic blond wig not look completely awful on your head.

As you leave for Pi Beta Phi, you grab your purse, keys, and phone but a quick step outside reveals that the weather has gone unexpectedly chilly, making you rush back to the apartment and grab the first piece of outerwear you see – which happens to be Jimin’s oversized light colored denim jacket he left in your apartment two weeks ago.

It’s probably for the best that you’re wearing the jacket, you think to yourself as you wobbly make your way across the hilly sidewalks that lead to Greek row in your stiletto heels. Your entire ass is out in the leotard-esque bodysuit and had you not been wearing a coat, the boys walking behind you surely would’ve gotten quite the show all the way uphill.

At the house, your sisters are busily running around making sure everything is perfect and ready for the party. They have made Pi Phi manor look great, although it leans towards the glitzy and glam side of decorations rather than the cute and spooky side. Black and orange is prominent throughout the entire house however, with the grand staircase railing done up with black poofy garlands and glittery orange streamers. You sign yourself and Jimin for the costume contest and then grab a red solo cup of apple cider – non-alcoholic since sororities aren't allowed to serve substances on their grounds, thanks to a decidedly sexist rule that never gets changed no matter how many elections pass – before heading back outside to watch the costumed guests walk up.

Your sisters and their guests are hanging around the cute little games that were set up on the grass. There’s a beanbag toss where the bags are all white and decorated with the faces of various mischievous ghosts as well as a cider bottle toss. You know that your boyfriend will get excited by the pumpkin smash station so you pointedly walk far away from it to the other side of the lawn where you see a couple of your friends surrounding the giant tin containers that have been set up for apple bobbing. Jimin’s fraternity brothers Seokjin and Namjoon are on their knees, since the basins are too low for their tall statures, while Namjoon’s girlfriend cheers for them as Jungkook simultaneously jeers them on.

Seokjin is dressed in a sailor costume that leaves little to the imagination. He has a peaked captain’s cap placed jauntily on his dark brown hair while his slutty outfit consists of white suspenders strapped onto navy skin clinging short shorts. A white and navy striped sailor collar hangs over his Pacific Ocean wide shoulders that ties in the front with the two floppy end pieces bouncing against his pecs from any sudden movements. Apparently, you were mistaken when you had thought that his nautical nod for the night meant that he would be a sexy merman. Seokjin seems to prefer a slutty sailor. His hands are clasped behind his back as he bends down to bite down on an apple.

Namjoon on the other hand is fully prepared for the costume contest in a TV accurate depiction of Khal Drogo. You don’t doubt for a second that it was his girlfriend’s idea as the brown girl is dressed as Daenerys Targaryen and looks picture perfect as the mother of dragons with her freshly bleached hair. She keeps rubbing her hands over Namjoon’s bare shoulders and back as the male bobs for his own apple, all while keeping the lookout for Jungkook with narrowed eyes since the male seems dead set on shoving one of his hyungs’ heads underwater.

Just as Jungkook nudges Seokjin into the steel bucket of water with his knee, you hear someone shout your name. You look towards the sidewalk where Jimin’s walking up, looking like the perfect Ken from Toy Story 3 and you immediately dart away from your friends to jump into his arms.

“Jimin,” you hum, kissing his cheek as your arms tighten around his neck. The male strengthens the hold he has on your thighs, holding you more securely against him as he walks the two of you back to the apple bobbing crew.

“Y/N, what is your costume?” he asks while perplexedly scrunching his slightly pinkened face up, flushed from the biting cold air of the autumn night, as he easily sets you down and looks at the denim jacket swallowing your frame and the blonde wig that seems strangely out of place, “Now I’m even less sure of who I’m meant to be.”

You stare at Jimin. He’s wearing the brightly colored abstract print shirt completely open, letting you stare at his sunkissed rock hard abdominal muscles as well as the platinum bars that decorated his pecs. You sneakily stretch your hand forward so that you can possessively press your palm against his Nevermind tattoo and he snorts, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and squeezing you close to him. Your eyes make their way from his face to his neck where he haphazardly tied the blue bandana you got for him, the shade matching the exact color of your bodysuit. You untie it and redo it for him in a perfect Ascot knot.

“You’re Ken from Toy Story 3,” you explain, “It was hard finding the right shirt though,” you pout cutely at him.

Jimin tucks his hands into the small pockets of the light blue shorts he is wearing, cuffed to be even shorter. You forgot to account for how bootylicious Jimin is or how thick his thighs are because the cloth is tighter than you anticipated, clinging to his lower half like a second skin. You frown, biting your lip, no one better stare at his ass, suddenly possessed by jealousy. This peach is for your viewing pleasure only.

“Barbie doesn’t dress like that,” Jimin nods at his jacket, clearly indicating that he wants you to take it off so he can see what you’ve got on underneath.

“I was cold,” you defend yourself, but you slip off the outerwear and give it to the male to hold onto.

Jimin narrows his eyes as he walks around you to get the full 360° view, taking his chance to smack your ass lightly when he’s behind you. “You can put the coat back on if you’re cold,” he says nicely, sounding chivalrous though you know it’s more likely because he is just as possessive of your ass as you are of his, and both of your cheeks are practically hanging out due to the high cut of the leotard.

“Nice costume, hyung,” Jungkook nods in Jimin’s direction, handing him off an apple he clearly swiped from the game.

“Thanks,” Jimin snorts, putting the apple into your pocket instead of having it rest against his warm thighs in his shorts’ pockets. “What the hell are you supposed to be?”

Jungkook is shirtless and wearing a pair of crimson colored hot pants. You don’t have a damn clue what he is meant to be either. “The devil.”

“Where are your horns,” you scoff, crossing your arms as you narrow your eyes at him, very visibly and judgmentally looking him up and down, unimpressed by his lack of effort.

At that Jungkook’s eyes widen as he frantically pats the top of his curly black locks, “Shit, Sooyeon is gonna kill me.” And with that the male disappears into the fray, heading back into the sorority house to find the headpiece to his costume.

Jimin smiles, rocking back and forth on his feet, “I saw a jar of candy corn. If I guess the amount in it correctly or get the closest to it, I get to keep the jar.”

“Jimin, you hate candy corn,” you complain as you take his hand and allow him to pull you through the party so that you guys can walk around and see all the attractions.

“I could donate it. Or,” your boyfriend pauses, lower lip getting bitten as his brows become furrowed, “Halloween’s actually on Sunday. I could give it to the trick or treaters.”

“Children come by to the frat to get candy?!” you shriek, aghast at the thought. Those poor kids, getting scarred for life. The thought of them witnessing the shenanigans that Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook get up to has you distressed.

“Actually, we have a little event we do at the local elementary school. We play games. They show a PG-rated spooky movie in the auditorium and there’s little goodie bags we made earlier this week with individually wrapped candy and ghost and pumpkin stickers,” Jimin rambles, his cheeks going up and his eyes getting all squinty as he excitedly explains to you.

A soft smile overtakes your face as well, “That’s really sweet, Jimin, but what if you don’t end up doing anything with the candy corn because you forget? Wish it were jelly beans. Or even gummy worms.”

“I would do so well, though,” he grumbles, running a veiny hand through his silver locks, pushing the strands back and off of his forehead, “I’d win.”

“I know you would. You’re really good at estimating, but since we both know you’d win... Do we really need a 6 pound jar of waxy corn syrup flavored junk?”

“Disgusting,” mutters Jimin, and then he gently swings your attached arms back and forth as you both go deeper into the fray.

There’s a Quidditch themed butterbeer pong game that you’re pretty sure has been illegally set up, that you and Jimin spend most of your time at, drinking the disgusting butterscotch flavored soda – when you’re not at the snacks table eating the Southern bbq your sorority had catered, as well as all the sickeningly sweet seasonally appropriate desserts your sisters had either baked or bought.

Slightly sluggish from your full tummies, you guys finally go up to the cute little section inside the front entrance to the house where the formerly giant open space has been turned into a little stage with seats for the audience wishing to watch the costume party. Your Pi Beta Phi president, Sariya, is waving her little bedazzled orange and purple gavel like she thinks she’s a judge requesting order in the courtroom. You and Jimin speed walk your ways to getting seats in the far back, where you can make a quick escape if necessary.

You guys make it through several of the costumes, the highlights being Jisoo, Lisa, Jennie, and Rosé being dressed up as the teletubbies; Namjoon and his girlfriend providing steep competition as a Dothraki and Daenerys although you don’t think they’re going to win since pretty much everyone hated the last season of “Game of Thrones;” and several groups and couples embarrassingly dressing like characters from the ever popular Squid Game which is 2021’s version of how literally every couple dressed like Harley Quinn and the Joker from “Suicide Squad” in 2016. Then, it’s finally time for you and Jimin to hit the stage. You pull off the denim jacket and put it on a chair off to the side of the stage before you rush to catch up to your boyfriend and walk on stage with him hand in hand.

Your sorority’s chapter president announces that the two of you are dressed up as Barbara “Barbie” Roberts and Kenneth Carson as the two of you spin around and do little twirls to let everyone see your costumes from all angles. This is met with a second of split silence since no one knows the iconic Mattel couple’s full names but then she continues to tack on, “Barbie and Ken from Toy Story 3!” At that the audience is wracked with cheers since the third movie has always been the fan favorite out of the franchise. Though it could have easily been just as likely that they were screaming at how much skin you and Jimin were both revealing. The two of you skip off the stage feeling pretty secure about your victory since the cheers for you two were the loudest they’ve been all night.

“I think it helps that you have such nice muscles and proportions, you look like the perfect male,” you smirk as you feel your way up Jimin’s chest, smoothing your palm over his abs and flicking one of his nipples. Your/Jimin’s jacket is hanging in the crook of your other arm, you’re reluctant to put it back on until after your victory lap from being announced as the winners.

Jimin immediately grabs you by the wrist after the nip flick, “Don’t do that,” he reprimands gently and then he pulls you into his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder and trapping your arms under his embrace so your sly hands can’t feel him up some more. He has the two of you facing the stage as Jungkook and his girlfriend Sooyeon take the stage. Jungkook’s in the aforementioned bright red booty shorts but has somehow managed to find his devil horns and is using a red silicone spatula as a pitchfork. His girlfriend is dressed in a white lace babydoll nightie from Victoria’s secret and has a fuzzy white halo on, though her wings are nowhere to be seen.

“Who would vote for that,” scoffs Seokjin, materializing next to you two from out of nowhere, making Jimin let out a surprised shriek that he attempts to conceal by turning it into a deep grunt. “He stole that spatula from our kitchen.”

Yeah, all of you are judging their costumes hard. It’s easily the outfits where the least amount of effort was made. Every single person dressed as a Squid Game character looks better than them. Unlike you and Seokjin, who are embroiled in a heavy discussion of Halloween costumes, Jimin is distracted as he contemplates how to get snacks and get back to you before the announcement is made. When his perusal of the space makes his eyes catch on two gentlemen looking you up and down, their gazes trapped to your chest, he immediately makes you put the jacket back on. You smile at him thanking him, because God, there’s nothing worse than creepy unwanted attention. Like, why can’t men ever let you be a baddie in peace?

When the winner gets announced ten minutes later as Jungkook and Sooyeon, you start screeching and attempt to run up to the stage to fight the judges. Jimin, knowing what would happen if you lost, grabs a hold of you and hugs you to his chest as you kick and squirm. When you break a hold of Jimin’s grasp to lodge the apple from Jungkook that had remained in your jacket pocket this entire time at the aforementioned male, Jimin grabs onto you again, tightening his arms around you and locking you against him even harder. Beside you two, Namjoon is similarly enraged, having found the group with his girlfriend after the announcements were made. He says it screams rigged since Sooyeon is the chapter vice president, and his girlfriend lets him rant to her though it’s clear from the way she’s undressing his already half naked body with her eyes, she’s not listening to a word he’s saying.

As you glare at Jungkook, giving him a stink eye from where he’s accepting the dumb little trophy on stage, Jimin takes the chance to hike you up over his shoulder as he carries you away from the sorority. He keeps dragging your jacket down to cover your cute butt from where it is beside his head, not only because it distracts him while he’s walking but also because he doesn’t want any other perverts looking at it. Jimin is the only pervert that’s allowed to openly fawn over you.

You let him carry you this way halfway down the street before you start squirming and tell him you can walk by yourself. The male hesitantly lowers you beside him, watching you with narrowed eyes as you stalk forward, growling under your breath about stupid nepotism and how you could never hold a more important role at your sorority because you weren’t a legacy Pi Phi, wishing you had a dozen more apples you could aim at Jungkook and Sooyeon’s heads.

“Hey,” Jimin protests as he runs ahead to catch up to you, “Community outreach chair is very important too, Y/N. Don’t undersell yourself just because Sooyeon got all her friends to vote for her.”

“It’s not fair, Jimin—” you cut yourself off, clearly holding back the meaner things you wanted to say. Instead, you change the subject, “Are we really going to the haunted house, Jimin? Last year you abandoned me in a corn maze.”

“I didn’t abandon you,” Jimin argues immediately, still disagreeing with you a year later, his brown eyes glinting as he rolls them at you, “You got lost… in a maze… because it’s a maze. They’re designed that way.”

“You let go of my hand,” you pout, your lower lip quivering, the pale sparkly lipstick making it look like your mouth is covered in fairy dust.“You left me. I still have nightmares. I found a random ass crop circle. I was literally seconds away from being abducted by aliens,” You declare dramatically before then crossing your arms, frowning deeply though you don’t change paths and continue to walk in the direction of his fraternity.

“I won’t do that this time, Y/N, I promise. And this is just a basic frat run haunted house. It won't be anything like Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. Hobi hyung and Yoongi hyung got dragged into playing the role of the scarers. Hobi hyung is dressed as Edward Scissorhands but honestly, do you really think he is the type of person who is good at scaring others?” Jimin has to admit he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from snorting the second you mentioned the crop circle and aliens. You are literally the most paranoid person he knows. Even worse than Hobi hyung although he knows you’ll disagree.

You furrow your brows, they got the resident scaredy cat Jung Hoseok to participate in the haunted house? Hoseok’s fear tolerance is much lower than yours. Last year, you and he ended up alone in Jimin’s apartment while Jimin went downstairs to pick up the pizza delivery and Hoseok ended up screaming his head off when the two of you saw a giant spider on the ceiling. He demanded that as his junior, you kill the creature – which you tried, but it only resulted in failure. After all, Jimin is the one that kills bugs in your relationship. When Jimin came back into the apartment, half of it was burned down from the two of your attempts. Well… not really, but you are exaggerating to make a point.

“Come on, Y/N, one quick run through the house and then we can go to my room on the next floor. I bought you snacks and we can watch Nightmare Before Christmas together,” he suggests biting down on his lip.

“Fine,” you whine, stomping with one of your pink leather encased feet, “But this time, no letting go of me!” And with that you speedily shuffle into Jimin’s arms and make him awkwardly walk with you the rest of the way since it felt like you two were practically conjoined with how close you remain to him the entire time.

“It’s going to be fun, Y/N,” Jimin murmurs as he takes out the tickets he got for you two earlier in the evening and hands them off to Taehyung who is manning the entrance as the clown from It. He has a face full of white makeup on and had even drawn on Pennywise’s terrifying red smile with the crimson paint running through his cheeks to cut right across his eyes and go into his forehead in two curvy lines from the end of his smile. The male had teased his blond hair into the shape of the dancing clown’s iconic hair before spraying with temporary orange hair chalk.

“For you,” you grumble, pointedly stepping around Jimin to his other side to avoid Taehyung and his unnerving costume, “But as long as you play the role of my dashing protective knight in shining armor, I shall try to persist.”

Beta Tau Sigma is the first male fraternity that was founded in your university. Though their massive mansion gets major renovations every five to ten years, the Victorian structure was built in the 1800s. So when the boys convert it into a spooky haunt, it is successfully terrifying.

From the moment you step in, fog clouds the interior, making you clamber to Jimin’s side, pressing into him when you can’t see more than five feet ahead of you clearly. To your utter dismay, the frat’s brothers have taken advantage of the location’s history and how it houses so many young individuals and made that the central theme for night. It is designed like a cross between an asylum and a school for troubled minds and Yoongi leaps out scaring the living shit out of you three minutes into your traipse through the first floor, dressed up as Hannibal Lector in his bright orange prison garb and tiger-esque hockey mask.

Jimin is, of course, unfazed. He stares at Yoongi with a wry lopsided smirk gracing his lips before striking a conversation with his hyung. You try to justify your reaction, and Jimin’s lack thereof, by convincing yourself that your boyfriend didn’t react because he already saw Yoongi today in his costume and you hadn’t, so your jump, followed by the screech that had you ducking your head into Jimin’s chest, was a reasonable reaction.

“Do you think I would be less scared if I closed my eyes and had you blindly direct me through this place?” you ask, seriously considering it, quickly flapping your shimmery blue lids shut.

“Don’t do that, Y/N, it’ll make the music seem even louder to you,” Jimin warns, as he gently pushes you forward so that the two of you can now make it up the stairs to the second floor.

Your neck hairs stand at his words as goosebumps take over your entire body. Now that Jimin has mentioned the music, you can hear the eerie Tethered remix of “I Got 5 On It” as it finishes off and is replaced with a creepy instrumental remix of Melanie Martinez’s “Carousel” as though the playlist is blasting in your ears, attacking your eardrums. “Okay, maybe you’re right. But, Jimin! I hate this,” you cry out, sharply snapping your eyes open, before you gingerly make your way up the stairs.

Each step is covered with fake cobwebs and as you move your legs the giant spider and snake decorations on the banisters and railings start to move, activated by motion sensors and making weird broken noises. It’s definitely not the scariest part of this entire thing but you flinch every time a fuzzy pincer or a plastic reptilian tail brushes against you and you find yourself dashing through the rest of the stairs though Jimin hurriedly calls out for you to wait for him.

At the landing for the next floor, you wait for your boyfriend and when he finally slings an arm around your shoulders, the two of you take off again. This floor has bedrooms, though, and some of the brothers that live on it have given up their spaces to be used as miniature themed scare rooms, though not every door is open and available for the public to walk into. You and Jimin make your way through one of them that has been set up to look like a medical operating room as well as another set up like a bedroom with screaming frat members strapped into beds with metal frames that try to grab you as you wake by them before the trouble starts.

Later, Jimin will say he told you not to move and wait for him while you will argue with him that you heard him say nothing so you moved on like everything was fine and dandy. You’re in a room that looks like an abandoned classroom or something of the sort when things go awry. You won’t be able to appreciate how they converted the study room until months later because you receive the worst fright of your life there.

As you make your way through the desks towards the whiteboard at the front, the lights flicker before turning off completely and then the room, that’s already cold from the air conditioning blasting throughout the entire fraternity, begins to fill with fog. When the lights turn back on five seconds later, you blink, seeing dark spots from the abrupt brightness. As your eyes focus, you let out an earth shattering scream when you notice that there are two grown ass men who are much taller and bigger than you dressed like the Grady Twins from The Shining, brown shoulder length wigs, light blue dresses, white stockings and all, standing two feet away from you looking both incredibly imposing and impossibly threatening.

You fall to the ground and let yourself crumble into a ball, wrapping your arms around your legs as you press your shiny cobalt eye-shadowed eyelids against your icy knees. Jimin bursts into the room a minute later, following the sound of your shriek and immediately drops down on the ground next to you to wrap his arms around you and hugs you to his chest, squishing your face, the part that's not pressed against your knees, against his shoulder. He cradles your head into him as he brushes his hand over your hair several times soothingly.

You can hear him gruffly asking Soobin and Yeonjun to take five and vacate the room. The underclassmen readily do so since Jimin is a vice president of the chapter this year. Unlike your sorority, which has one president and vice president and then several chairs, Jimin’s fraternity has three vice presidents since it has a much larger student body. Namjoon’s the president, of course, while Yoongi is the external vice president with Hoseok dealing with internal affairs. Jimin is the member development vice president and since rush is over, his workload is a little lighter than the other heads’ at the moment.

“Y/N, I told you not to leave me,” he chastises as he somehow manages to pick you up from the ground and carry you as you wrap yourself around his body like a koala, clinging to his front. You burrow your nose, which feels like an icicle, into his collarbone as you tighten your arms around his neck like a noose. Your boyfriend, feeling horrible about your scare, ignores the discomfort that comes from the frosty contact of your skin against his.

As Jimin grasps your thighs more securely, you cross your legs even more tightly over his hips, “You didn’t tell me anything! I thought you were with me the entire time,” you cry out. You have no idea how your mascara and eyeliner are holding up but you hope they keep their waterproof promise as you start to sob again.

He brushes a kiss across the top of your head before he unexpectedly rushes to spit out a plastic strand of hair out of his mouth, having forgotten that you were wearing a wig since it was so dark inside the mansion. “Y/N, I don’t want to play the blame game with you when you’re in distress but, sweetheart, you walked away from me in the corn maze too. Y/N, if I’m going to be holding your hand the entire way through so you don’t get scared, you can’t let go of my hand and then blame me when you get frightened later on,” he harps softly, trying to keep condemnation out of his voice.

You pause your crying to protest, “You let go of my hand!” You still haven’t quite regained your senses and you keep attacking Jimin, whether validly or not… who’s to say? One thing’s for sure: the shock from your fear is keeping you from reacting rationally.

“Y/N, I told you I was going to tie my shoes and to not move, didn’t you hear me?” he asks, walking through the rest of the attractions without any harassment from the scarers. He’s guessing that Soobin and Yeonjun told them to leave the two of you alone, or the sight of Jimin carrying his obviously distressed girlfriend throughout the second floor has the other scarers giving you two a wide breadth. Hoseok even walks in the opposite direction with his cool scissor hands as he sees Jimin going for the next flight of stairs to the floor that has his bedroom.

“I didn’t hear anything, baby,” you mumble honestly, biting on your lip again, the soft waxy pink from your lipstick having long been worn off, “I swear.”

Jimin squeezes you around the middle, “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding,” he seems willing to let it go. He obviously doesn’t want to spend the rest of the night arguing with you.

Though it would have been infinitely easier for him to get his keycard out and open his dorm door if he put you down, Jimin lets you cling to him and one handedly hunts for the card in his wallet and then pushes the door open wide with his back, allowing the two of you to enter.

“I’m gonna set you down on my bed and change out of this costume okay, Y/N?” he asks, “Just because the costume party and this didn’t go as planned doesn’t mean we have to end the night on a bad note, yeah? Take off your shoes and wig, baby, and put Disney+ on. I’m going to get the snacks I bought yesterday out.”

You stare at Jimin, forgetting to do as he’s told you as you gaze enraptured by his handsomeness and natural charisma. As you watch Jimin peel off his multicolored shirt and shorts to abandon them in favor of a pair of black sweats, he mischievously smirks at you, playfully winking and giving a little strip tease which then shifts to him dragging his hand down his bare abdomen as he cutely yet sexily performs a hip roll for you which ends with a violent hip thrust that makes it clear that even with how cold it’s been tonight, the male is already at half-mast and still growing, his arousal undeterred by the chill.

The light smile that has been gracing your face disappears when Jimin sinks to his knees before you to pull your pink leather pumps off and you unexpectedly find yourself bursting into tears, distraught from the immense kindness and care Jimin has shown you tonight. This results in your boyfriend looking sharply up at you in abrupt alarm, puppy eyes widened as a look of deep concern takes over his entire face.

Jimin wiggles his way in between your legs, standing on his knees which make him basically the same height as you even with you sitting on his bed which is much higher. His hands, a little red from earlier outside, are freezing as they palm your cheeks and swipe both of his thumbs under your eyes at the same time to wipe away the fallen tears.

“Y/N, you need to tell me what’s wrong, right now,” your boyfriend stresses as he worries his bottom lip with his teeth, his crooked tooth digging into the plump flesh. As he pulls your blond wig off your hair he continues, “Baby, you’ve been off all day and it’s been getting worse and worse. You’re crying. What is it? Did I break a boundary in the haunted house? You wouldn’t cry over not winning a contest, right?”

You pull the wig cap off your darker natural hair, undoing the bun and finger-combing through it. Your bottom lip quivers as you pointedly look away from Jimin. How can you tell him? It’s your burden, not his. But how can you not tell him? It’s been eating you up inside, keeping it all to yourself.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you confess, pulling Jimin’s hands off you to bury your face in your own as you sob loudly behind your palms. Even as your eyes leak with salty tears you’re unable to control, you know that Jimin’s probably looking at you in bewilderment and possibly a little frustration that he can’t fix this for you since you still haven’t told him what’s wrong. You wish you had a makeup wipe to rub off all the makeup on your face that’s getting muddled from your tears.

“Do what? That sounds like something you say to someone when you want to break up,” he angrily spits out.

That makes you peek out from behind the darkness and protection of your hands. You look at your boyfriend and he looks livid. He looks like you have completely blindsided him and as though he immensely resents you for it. His thick eyebrows are furrowed low and his plump rose colored lips are pressed into thin white lines. His eyes are tinged with red and watery as they hold in unshed tears and glare at you with hard brown irises full of indignation. He has his arms crossed over his bare chest as he backs away from you, standing stiffly as he stares you down and you already know he’s closing up and getting his guard up. Soon, he won’t listen to a word you say.

Shit. No. NO NO NO. You’re panicking immediately, your hand coming up to your mouth but you instantly force it aside, knowing you can’t bite your nails anxiously when your relationship is falling apart right before your eyes.

“Jimin, no—Jimin, I wouldn’t,” you stammer hurriedly, tripping over your words in your rush to get them out fast enough while Jimin still is open to hearing you out.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Why did you have to stumble over your words like this? You can’t even talk properly, you think in disgust. You tried to blurt out your words fast enough so Jimin’s mood doesn’t darken over the heavy misunderstanding even more, but you can’t even speak.

NO! This can’t be happening to you two right now.

Finally you just scream out, the words frantically being pulled from your throat in your incredible frustration and distraughtness, “Jimin, I’m not breaking up with you. I swear to God. Jimin, I swear on my own fucking life, too!” You sob in anguish, “Jimin, please? Listen to me. I swear—I wasn’t thinking when I said that. Baby, please! This has nothing to do with you. Baby, this is just a miscommunication error—Please?” you implore, gulping and gasping in between every inconsolable plea, “I can’t lose you.”

“Tell me right now, Y/N,” Jimin spits out. His words are so hard they pierce through your heart like ice. He’s closing off, you despair. “I am so sick of today, Y/N. Maybe it’s gone on for even longer. I don’t like this month. We can’t continue like this.”

You ignore the anger that prickles through you. It’s not as though this is your fault entirely. He’s the one who is rude to you when you reach out. Maybe you’re more mad about him saying earlier that he didn’t want to talk than you thought. But this isn’t the moment for that fight. You need to rein in your temper and tell him what’s been eating you up inside. That thing with Jimin? It could be dealt with at another time.

You exhale shakily. It’s loud and uneven but you manage to get in and out a few more pulls of air before you attempt to talk to him. He stares at you stonily from where he’s perched against his wooden dresser the entire time. How has the night gone so wrong? Oh right—you ruined everything.

“This is humiliating, but. God, Jimin. I had to drop my Chemistry course. I was failing it,” you bitterly bite out, wiping away angry tears, “But it was far enough along in the semester that I couldn’t just drop it and enroll myself into another class to replace the units. And then I got a call from the financial aid office that this would drop my standing from a full-time to a part-time student this semester and I would have to pay them back part of my aid since they had disbursed it already, but part time students receive less money than full time students.

“And I thought it would be fine because, you know... I dropped a class and I suddenly opened my schedule up for more shifts and a second job.

“But God. My landlord increased our rent starting from October because he only lets us pay month to month in that stupid building and not have yearly leases. I never saw that as a problem before when I used to think it meant I could leave at any moment but... Pi Phi has gotten so fucking expensive too.”

You clamp down hard on your lips tasting wax and something vanilla-y from the remnants of your lipstick. As you think about Pi Phi, you are suddenly filled with a blistering rage. It causes you to growl out, “And I hate the stupid sorority, Jimin! They keep asking more and more out of me in every single way. They not only want my money but they want my time. My fucking blood, sweat, and tears.

“WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR A MEAL PLAN AT THE PI PHI HOUSE WHEN I DON’T EVEN LIVE THERE OR EAT THERE?” you suddenly lose even more of your cool, screaming about it for the first time. Finally able to unload your frustration at the events that have upended your entire life, “For the monthly chapter dinners??” you hiss and then venomously bite out, “Why aren’t the chapter events paid for with what they take from us in the form of dues already?!” It’s obvious you think you’re being swindled.

“I don’t have time either, Jimin. I picked up so many extra shifts for everything since I was low on cash after paying back the university. My grades have even started to suffer. What am I supposed to do? I’m trapped in this stupid sorority. I can’t leave or my children and I will be blacklisted from Pi Phi forever. I won’t have the damn connections I spent the last three years building when I start job hunting. And I already spent all that money and it’s gone down the drain if I leave.” you lividly brush away the tears that fall from your eyes, immensely chagrined at your delicate emotions and how you seem to be spilling tears at the drop of a hat, unable to control them.

“But, Jimin... I might be fucking homeless too if I can’t pick up shifts because of Pi Phi obligations. What am I supposed to do?”

Jimin rushes to you, basically tackling you as he wraps his arms around you and the two of you fall back onto the bed. Your hair is a dark halo around your head as Jimin squishes you into the mattress. “Y/N? My lovely Y/N. My precious angelic Y/N. My darling sweet Y/N. Why didn’t you tell me, baby?” he murmurs as he brushes soft kisses all over your face as he overwhelms you with tender compliments to make up for earlier when he mistakenly accused you of attempting to break up with him.

“I don’t want handouts from you, Jimin,” you fiercely protest, your eyes still glittering from unshed liquid, “I know you. You can’t stand it when someone you love or care about is going through something terrible. You want to fix it immediately, You’re a problem solver but I’m not your damsel in distress, Jimin. This isn’t your burden to carry or your problem to solve.”

Jimin just smiles at you lightly, evidently your boyfriend feels incredibly terrible about his outburst earlier that had led to his unfounded accusations. He also smiles in an attempt to control his anger, since it shouldn’t be entirely directed at you anyways, so it comes out a little rough and toothy, “It’s okay to ask for help, Y/N. You might not be my damsel in distress to save but no one said you had to slay all your dragons by yourself.”

“I don’t want your money Jimin,” you push against his shoulder, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, but his dumb muscled frame doesn’t move an inch. Why is he so strong and solid? You’re no longer appreciative of how he can cart you along without breaking a sweat.

“I wasn’t going to give you money but I do have an idea,” he admits, tightening his arms around you as he rolls the two of you around so he’s no longer suffocating you underneath him. You struggle against his hold but are unsuccessful at loosening it even though your chances of escape should have increased since you are no longer buried underneath him. Quickly, you give up and flop back onto him, resting your head on his hard pectoral muscles. You can hear his heartbeat and it feels terribly intimate, making you struggle once more restlessly. You can’t stand this overwhelming downpour of love and acceptance from Jimin when you’ve treated him like shit today and continuously implied that he had a tendency to ditch you in scary situations.

“No ideas. I can do it by myself,” you protest stubbornly, lightly banging your head against the smooth silken expanse of his chest. You eye the tanned surface with narrowed eyes and contemplate whether you should bite him to show your ire, leaving a crescent of teeth marks on one of his generously endowed pectorals. You will that urge away and sigh.

“But you don’t have to,” Jimin cheerfully sings, with your eyes snapped shut against his warm skin you can’t see his face, but you have no doubt that he’s smiling widely at the moment. “Clearly, you can’t manage the stress.”

“Don’t, Jimin,” you warn, turning your head to the side so your lips are right by a tender nipple before taking it between your teeth, rolling the nub between it and biting down roughly. Evidently, you don’t have remarkable restraint. “I’ll hate you forever.”

“That’s an interesting dilemma you’re presenting me,” Jimin grins through the pain though you felt his full body wince and the way his body flinched away from you when you bit him, making you smirk deviously. His voice takes on the same tone as when he makes you listen to the stupid shit his Philosophy professor makes them argue about which then results in Jimin forcing you to counteract all of his arguments before the debates in class. “I don’t think you’ll hate me for what I’m going to suggest. But you know what, Y/N? If I ever had the opportunity to save you from ruin but it would result in you resenting me, I think I would still do it. I love you too much to let you live in misery.”

“I’m only in misery when I don’t have you, Jimin,” you disagree, pouting, “Everything else doesn’t matter.”

“Great,” Jimin grins, smacking a loud kiss against your lips, taking advantage of how enticing your puckered up lips look, rubbing off the remnants of your lipstick even more, “You’re gonna love my suggestion.”

“Ugh,” you groan in defeat, “Fine, let's hear it.”

“Let me move in with you.”

“Absolutely not!” you immediately protest, slapping a beefy bicep, and then pinching it lightly because that’s a dumb idea. No. He’s not moving in with you.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “Oh, come on. I spend more time at your apartment than my frat because you can’t fall asleep when you’re alone. You think someone is going to break in and murder you. You desperately need a roommate, or a better long term solution, and who is better than the guy who already spends so much time at your place that he should’ve probably started paying rent all the way back to August? Y/N, you spend so much money buying groceries that I end up finishing because you feel bad for making me spend nights with you that you feel like you have to pay me in ‘dinner and sex.’ Which, by the way, I don’t need constant food and sex, Y/N. I mean it’s nice but you’re not obligated to fulfill both those needs every time I’m at your place.”

“Jimin, you already paid for the entire year at your frat. You’re the vice president. You need to stay on deck at all times. You’re so important to Beta Tau,” you were not going to let Jimin waste money on an empty dorm. You knew how expensive Panhellenic housing was. Jimin probably paid for an exorbitantly expensive meal plan too. You ignore the comments about the food and the sex. You and Jimin cannot last more than five days without touching each other. Also, despite what Jimin says, he fully believes that you make the best Korean food out of anyone he knows at university. He’d probably wither and die if he had to live without your cooking since his diet otherwise consists solely of greasy takeout and energy drinks.

“First of all I’m a vice president not the vice president. Also, officers actually get free housing. That’s why the elections are so stiff every year. It’s the same reason that most of us decide to stay here instead of getting an apartment. We’re not being forced to stay and there’s no evil landlords trying to hike rent up illegally. Besides, it’s likely that a sophomore is going to be praising God the second he gets notified he got taken off the housing waitlist because a room just opened up. And it’s a single! Only officers get singles. Let me make that guy’s entire year, Y/N.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” you shyly mumble, looking down at Jimin’s chest and the glittering jewelry on his nipples to avoid eye contact.

“Mmhmm,” Jimin agrees, placing two fingers under your jaw and tilting your face up, “Let me help you,” he whispers across your lips before pressing them against his own.

You break apart from the languid kiss to gasp softly, your breathing still raggedly from your crying earlier, and finally concede, “Okay.”

And just like that. It’s like a switch has been flipped. Now that your boyfriend is under the understanding that he has just fixed everything, caring thoughtful Jimin goes away as horny wicked Jimin takes his place.

The look Jimin casts over your entire body as his darkened brown eyes nonchalantly track their way down is diabolical. He has no idea how your body suit is staying attached to your chest when its cut down the middle to your navel and he immediately has both of his hands going up to your breasts to cup them – his fingers slipping into your bodice, gripping onto the sparkly blue cloth before he roughly pulls them off the soft mounds. You glare at him as the sticky tape you used to keep the cups in position gets pulled off your body, leaving red marks on your skin where the adhesive had been.

Jimin ducks his head down, nosing your puffy nipples that begin to tighten once exposed to the chilly air, in apology. As his nose brushes against the sensitive nubs, hardening them, his mouth seeks those agitated red patches of skin, swiping fat strokes with his tongue over them, massaging in wet circles with its tip, as he sloppily layers them in his spit, soothing the flesh before puckering his lips around the sore areas, sucking on them until the marks darken into more vivid reds and purples, sometimes even adding the sharp bite of his teeth to deepen their permanence. He kisses all around your breasts, leaving marks from all over, even on the valley in between – almost as though he wants to make sure you can’t wear anything low cut or this daring without everyone seeing how you are his like he is yours.

You rake your nails down his back when you realize that, scoffing at how he’s still possessive almost three years into your relationship. Jimin looks up at you as he feels your nails dimpling into his skin, a shy but proud lopsided smile on his swollen, fuschia colored lips. He’s so fucking unapologetic. You roll your eyes before you return his grin and it’s only then that he returns his attention to your breasts, finally wrapping his lips around a pebbled peak, gently nipping them before his cheeks hollow out from the force that he’s sucking them, suddenly taken over by desperation. He swathes his tongue over and over the hard nub, before deciding to drag his teeth along the sensitive bud, rolling it between his teeth and then closing down, making you squeal, your head lolling to the side.

His intensity has you losing your mind underneath him. You writhe restlessly beneath Jimin’s body, your limbs spasming while your hips keep surging up, knocking against Jimin’s front frantically, seeking friction in vain. The stupid thick cloth of his dark colored sweatpants don’t let you feel anything but the faint shadow of Jimin’s dick, despite all your frantic bucking.

“Jimin,” you cry out in frustration, “Jimin!” You don’t even know what you want. Do you want him to take his pants off and furiously rut against you through your panties? Or do you want him to stop making you fall apart into pieces with his mouth that doesn’t cease its relentless besiege on your breasts?

Your boyfriend hears you, though, and it has him backing away from your body so he can look down at you to figure out the dimensions of your costume and how the fuck to get that thing off of you so you can be completely nude in his bed. You immediately whimper at the loss of contact. Jimin’s like a furnace and without his body covering you or his hot mouth against your skin, you can now feel the chill in his room which has not been excluded from the icy drafts that the fraternity has blasting through the mansion with the aid of central air conditioning to further the intensity of their haunted house. The entire place is temperature controlled which means the only thing Jimin can do to keep you warm is to wrap his frame around you since both of you are unwilling, at the moment, to put on more layers.

When Jimin finally rips the bright turquoise suit off, you’re left in only your mesh thong – the panties are made up of a diaphanous pink fabric that covers your mound, but lets Jimin see everything underneath as the golden tint to your skin peaks out through the cloth, and is edged with a lime green scalloped ribbon that has a cute little green bow on the center. Jimin can even see how the swath of fabric that’s pressed against your folds is darker from how wet you are, dripping into the material, deepening the color. “I love how you matched your panties to your leg warmers, Y/N. That eager to have sex with me tonight? You already creamed, no oops – screamed, them, and we’ve barely done anything,” Jimin goads, shamelessly staring down at you, his lips curling up devilishly as he can see the visible effect he has on your body.

“I always want to have sex with you,” you shrug blasély, unashamed of your desire and immune to Jimin’s taunts after so many years. He doesn’t embarrass you with how vulgar and descriptive he gets anymore.

But when Jimin starts to pump his fingers through your folds, the incessant speed and fervor has you whimpering to the point that you have to purse your lips in an attempt to conceal them. Jimin’s prodding fingers leave your pussy revealing that it has completely soaked them, making the male hold his hand up to his mouth, swirling his tongue around the pads of his fingers as he rejoices in your delicious taste.

“Come here, baby,” Jimin hums, his chocolate brown eyes sparkling warmly as he lulls you into a false sense of confidence. His fingers wrap around your smooth, shaven calves, gently dragging your cotton leg warmers down your legs.

In the blink of an eye, before you can even realize what has fully happened, your boyfriend has tied you up with those dumb multicolored striped pieces of fabric to his headboard. Your hands are bound together at the wrists and then closely tied to one of the headposts, limiting your upper range of motion. The most you can do is buck up, your back arching as you struggle and your legs kick about, but then even that motion becomes limited as Jimin straddles your abdomen. He’s up on his knees, his legs on either side of you and then the male pushes his black sweats and the navy boxer briefs he had worn for the party, so that he wouldn’t flash anyone in those tight costume shorts, halfway down his bulging muscled thighs, moving up your body until the pinkened mushroom head of his dick nudges against your lips, wordlessly telling you to part them.

Feeling defiant, you turn your face to the right and the precum that was beading the head of his cock smears against your cheek at the sudden movement. Your entire face heats up at that, a scarlet flush deepening the color of your cheeks, reddening your throat and décolletage.

“Y/N,” Jimin growls lowly, biting harshly down on the inside of his cheek and that’s all it takes for you to reposition your head, though you glare at him before you slowly spread apart your lips and take in just the bulbous tip into the warm wet cavern of your mouth. You suckle it languidly, focusing on just that part for a moment, twirling your tongue around it and sucking it hard, the point of your tongue poking the slit and eagerly lapping up every bit of precum that leaks out.

But soon you get into it, your neck stretching as you eagerly attempt to take in more of his length, hollowing your cheeks as you slide your lips over it. His tip drags against the roof of your mouth and you splutter in frustration around his cock that you can’t move enough to get even more of his length down your throat. At that Jimin moves even more up your chest, his bony knees almost digging into your armpits since your arms are thrown over your head in their tied position, though he carefully keeps himself perched so none of his weight is pressing down on your delicate rib cage. The male leans one of his arms back to rest his weight on his hand which is fisting his sheets, his fingers digging into his mattress while your actions pick up fervor as you eagerly bob your head forward to enthusiastically deep throat him. His other hand blindly reaches behind him in the direction of your folds, traveling down your continuously clenching tummy and pelvis, the delicate digits traversing the tightened muscles to successfully find the opening to your core, his thumb brutally pressing down on your pulsating clit, striving to hurl you towards release as you do the same to him.

His thumb furiously rubs at that sensitive bud while his other fingers roam your folds, two of them breaching your entrance to plunge into your gushing center, thick digits knuckle deep as he multitasks, pumping two of them in and out of you, curling them up with his fingertips brushing against the furled grooves of your walls, his hard fingernails raking against your insides to making you wail in discontent as his thumb keeps building up that pressured assault against your battered clit.

Meanwhile, you’re gagging on his cock as it sits heavily on your tongue, allowing you to feel the protruding vein along the underside, jutting further into your mouth, brushing against the back of your throat, stabbing your tonsils. You curl your tongue upwards, trying to follow the path of the vein with the tip. The ribbed, warm skin of his shaft against your tongue makes you salivate, drool dripping out your lips while you similarly drench yourself down south as a flood of arousal flows through your core.

But after a moment Jimin snarls, “No,” in frustration, his flushed forehead scrunched up as he seeks something more, something that will perhaps yield more satisfaction and result in greater relief, moving off of your body to agitatedly pull at the fabric of his pants, shredding them off completely.

When the male returns to you, completely nude, all warm peach, soft cream and blush pink shades, he decides to straddle you in the opposite direction, facing away from you. He grips your thighs firmly to maneuver your legs in a bent position, his palms feeling rough as they grasp onto the round globes of your ass to lift your pelvis off the bed, making your back arch as your pussy becomes level with Jimin’s mouth so that he can eat you out. He slides backwards after he properly positions you like you’re his feast so that you can once again take his dick in your mouth, allowing the two of you to properly sixty-nine.

Jimin’s cock twitches in your mouth in excitement and you quickly suckle it to keep it from jerking unexpectedly again, slowly teasing it and building up the pressure. As you keep things slow, Jimin shudders against your mons, his breath seeping through the mesh fabric of your thong, falling over your sensitive skin and making you get goosebumps all over. His lips close over your engorged clit through your panties, sucking so hard he wets the material so heavily it becomes transparent. But after a moment he abandons it, using his nose to nudge the cloth aside so that your folds are finally bare before he eagerly sets in. He sloppily licks fat stripes from your clit to your core, jabbing the tip of his tongue into you, nipping at your petaled folds. In his hunger, he doesn’t realize that he is slowly moving away from your mouth until your lips frantically wrap themselves around his mushroom tip, as you struggle to keep him in your mouth, back to only being able to suck on that upper part of his shaft. He grips your thighs even more soundly, slurping at your juices as your thighs quiver and jiggle on either side of his face. He can’t get enough of how you taste, his grunts mingling with your lustful moans and whimpers that pierce through the air. It doesn’t take him long before he successfully catapults you into a powerful climax, your soft thighs trapping his head as they close around it. Jimin ignores the constraint, sniffing at your delicious scent, lapping at your folds until he has successfully slurped up every bit of your orgasm.

When he releases his grip on your ass, no longer holding you up, your legs unbend, falling as you can no longer hold the position on your own due to the current jellylike state of your limbs. He climbs off your body to sit beside you, his back against the headboard as he finally takes off the bindings around your wrists. The second you’re free, you don’t get a chance to do much before you find yourself hauled up by Jimin and dumped on his lap, your still sensitive cunt brushing against his painfully hard dick as your thighs bracket his, making you twitch in his embrace.

You face him, taking in the messed up hair, voluminous and in disarray, the puffy reddened lips, and the coral colored flush that overtakes his skin from his ears to his cheeks to the entirety of his throat. He looks delirious, so terribly fucked out, and when you eagerly seek to touch his plush lips with your own red bitten ones, his eyes close softly, his black eye lashes fluttering closed as he lets out a blissful sigh. The kiss is earnest and gentle, Jimin’s fingers lightly twitching against your chin as they delicately grip it. “I love you,” you hum into the kiss, when you break apart for the smallest of moments, your lips trembling against his.

His heart skips a beat at your sincere declaration, blood surging to both his cheeks and his cock as he becomes even more maddened at those words, filled with an overflowing amount of love and lust for you as they take over his mind and make him lose control. He leans more deeply into the kiss, intensely passing his lips over yours again and again, too restless and greedy to let you part for a second or breath.

You’re his, he’s yours; he will never let you two be anyone else’s. This is forever for him.

“Ride me, Y/N?” he begs, when he finally is able to let you go, comforted by how your arms are wound tightly around his frame. His gray hair is darkened at the roots to a sooty charcoal color from how much he’s sweating even in this freezing room and as you brush it back, away from how they’ve fallen into his eye line, he murmurs, “At least in the beginning. Please, baby.”

You press your hands against his chest, your palms brushing against the rock hard points of his nipples as you lift your ass off his lap. You ask Jimin to help line your folds up with his cock because you’re too busy with your sudden obsession with the furled buds of his dark mauvy brown nipples. You find yourself too busy flicking them and rolling them between your forefinger and thumb, to be bothered to make sure that his cock would enter your opening. Honestly, if Jimin left you to your own devices, distracted as you are by the pretty shiny jewelry adorning his pecs – you would probably just absentmindedly sit down on him, rubbing your pussy against his length, too lazy to make sure he was actually penetrating you with his fat cock, fine with just getting off by humping each other.

You continue to swirl your tongue around the beaded nubs. Jimin hisses and groans when you nudge the metal ends of his piercings with the pointed tip of your tongue. The hardness of the platinum bars brushing against your taste buds seem so at odds with the silkiness of Jimin’s skin and you find yourself moaning as you lick up his chest, your tongue capturing the saltiness of his sweat on it.

Jimin sighs as he continues to let you dart little kitten licks against the hard points of his nipples. It always surprises him just how similar he and you are. You say it’s because he’s a Libra and you’re an Aquarius and that makes you both air signs, but honestly – he doesn’t know. What he does think is that he’s glad you two still get along, even though not only do you both have the same personalities down to a tee, the two of you often blow your lids at the most random things – fortunately, it’s usually not over the same things. But you both are also infatuated with the exact same features on each other, often wanting to perform the exact same sexual act on each other, even if you guys sometimes have to determine an order when it’s not possible to do it simultaneously.

He can’t blame you for wanting to suck his nipples right now when he spent over an hour with his face pressed to your breasts earlier in the afternoon, at one point even motorboating you until you shoved him away rolling your eyes, pretending it wasn’t enjoyable for you at all. This means that he'll happily let you hum against his sweat slickened skin in pleasure as you lick and nibble while he grabs ahold of your shapely hips and makes you slide up and down against his length. When you finally stop your adoration of Jimin’s chest, you sheepishly take back control and increase your speed, enthusiastically bouncing up and down on his dick, using his shoulders to clutch onto.

As the pace picks up momentum, you get sloppier, resulting in his cock dragging against your folds roughly. It makes you mewl mindlessly and Jimin moves his hands away from your hips now that you’ve taken back the reins. Instead, his hands go upwards, fingers knotting themselves into your hair as his palms cradle the back of your head, he gently nudges your head forward with his hands, guiding you towards his lips before you meet them in a desperate kiss that has you both sighing intermittently against each other’s mouth.

It’s taking you more and more effort to lift yourself off his cock and fall down onto it again as your thighs tighten with another approaching orgasm. When Jimin finally notices your struggles, he quickly rolls the two of you around so that he’s on top of you and you’re lying on your back with your legs wrapped high around his waist as he energetically jackhammers into you with tight, lethal snaps of his hips, keeping up a furious pace. His fat, monstrous length pounds into you again and again as you mindlessly rake your nails down his back, struggling to find purchase. He rams his cock into your hole as your walls quiver and tighten around him, reluctant to let him go.

Too enraptured by your beauty as he is full of both love and lust, it’s not enough for Jimin to just stare down at you, maintaining eye contact as he snaps his hips, pistoning into you. No, Jimin has to remain busy, giving you as much pleasure as possible, and so his head ducks low, wetly and messily kissing and biting his way from your throat to the expanse of your chest, littering your smooth skin with even more torrid love bites and hickeys. It’s fortunate that it is sweater weather because there is no way you can wear a bikini top without showing everyone the, at least, twenty impassioned marks that stain your skin as proof of Jimin’s adoration and devotion. His hand also sneaks its way down to increase the intensity, fiercely rubbing your clit to stimulate you. This time when you come, you squirt, drenching Jimin’s bed sheets. And all it takes is you gushing around him from your orgasm for your boyfriend to come powerfully inside you, collapsing onto your frame.

For a long moment, you let Jimin crush your body under his weight, welcoming the closeness and how his skin sticks and clings to yours with how sweaty you both have become. You tighten your legs even further around his hips, keeping his warm cock buried within you for as long as you can, but when it starts to erratically twitch from the overstimulation, you know it’s time for Jimin’s exhausted cock to pull out.

“Shower with me?” Jimin whispers against the shell of your ear, making you shiver. All of your senses are still overwhelmingly heightened after that second orgasm, “We can use up all of the hot water since they turned on the fucking A/C even though it’s almost winter.”

You let Jimin pull you along to the ensuite bathroom, both of you thanking God that he’s an officer who gets several privileges. Jimin lets you remain a little longer in the shower than himself, escaping early since you two couldn’t agree on the temperature. You had wanted it warmer than he did and he could only stand it for so long. You use the time to scrub every bit of Halloween makeup off your skin. As the water runs a bluish gray, you wonder how the fuck Jimin had sex with you when you looked properly fucked out and a right mess with your makeup running all over your face. Surely you could not have looked very pretty. You bite your lip, making yourself blush, but Jimin certainly must’ve thought you did with the way he kept staring at you the entire time. The heat of a thousand suns were behind his eyes as his eyes swept over your body and locked with yours.

When you exit the bathroom, in an oversized fuzzy Beta Tau crewneck that belongs to your boyfriend and one of his thicker pairs of sweats, your hair is blown dry since you didn’t want to drip water onto Jimin’s bed, wetting the sheets, when it was already so cold. Looking over the room, you find that Jimin has changed his bedding so it no longer has the evidence of his cum and your squirting splattering it.

Jimin’s already on top of the new sheets with, what do you know, Toy Story 3 all queued up on Disney+, though you know he takes any and all opportunity to rewatch The Nightmare Before Christmas that he can. The male hurriedly opens his arms out wide for you when he notices that you’re back in the room and you launch yourself into his embrace. Once you’re comfortable with your back pressed against his chest, he covers the two of you with his thick, warm blankets.

“Jimin?” you ask, twirling a flat lock of hair. Unless you style it, your freshly washed hair never has any volume.

“Yes, baby?” he answers dutifully, kissing your forehead. He’s warm and cozy, smelling like orange blossoms and citrus trees, both floral and woody and you love it, inhaling deeply.

“Can you come over on Sunday? I want to eat dinner together with you,” you admit, pulling the sleeves of his crewneck until your fingers are no longer visible and you have sweaterpaws.

“Depends on what you make,” he teases, nudging his nose against yours.

But you don’t realize, answering him seriously with thoughtful consideration to your dinner menu, “I was thinking I could make kimchi jjigae and maybe also dakgalbi?”

“Y/N, I was gonna be there with you regardless,” Jimin murmurs, raking his hand through his hair, pushing back the long straight strands of gunmetal colored hair from falling over his eyes and impeding his vision, “I’ll start moving in from tomorrow but it might be a little hard since I have rehearsal and then the actual showcase in the evening. But I figured I could get a huge chunk done on Sunday. Of course, I’ll eat dinner with my baby.”

“Jimin?”

“Yes, baby?” Jimin giggles before grinning at how you keep hesitantly repeating his name first before just saying whatever you wanted to tell him.

“I love you very much,” you admit, shyly, worrying your teeth over your lips that are covered with Jimin’s cherry chapstick you found on his sink’s counter. It’s not gross to share lip balm when you two are always kissing anyway. At least this way, neither of your lips are ever chapped and flaking.

“I know, baby. I love you, too. I’m sorry about snapping at you on Tuesday when you brought me food,” he confesses, his hands sliding up and down your arms, attempting to increase the friction to warm you up as you curl into his form.

“Oh. No, baby. That’s okay. It’s already forgotten, don't worry about that.”

“Yeah?” Jimin asks, hugging you tightly from the back, burrowing his nose into your hair. It smells like his Aromatica shampoo and you.

“Of course. You were just under a lot of pressure from midterms, baby. Don’t fret.”

“Yeah?” Jimin repeats, quirking his eyebrows playfully, “So you know that I don’t hold anything that happened today against you, right? Let’s just move forward, baby.”

“Oh, I see,” you opine, “This was a trap.”

“Don’t look at it that way,” suggests Jimin, cackling his head off, his cheeks stretched high and his eyes closing in the shape of half moons that are edged with his long dark lashes, “It’s a testament of my love for you.”

“What a forgiving and reasonable boyfriend I have,” you giggle, playing along, knocking your shoulder back into his chest, “He’s probably the best boyfriend to ever exist.”

“He is,” Jimin agrees.

“And I love him so much,” you declare, punctuating your statement with a happy kiss.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution - Non Commercial - No Derivatives 4.0 International License

©OPALJM 2021