#so in more recent ones it's clear that hes wearing it cuz hes upset

[sen-ya]

if u ever spot law wearing a huge cardigan in one of my comics know that that is his emotional support cardigan that he inherited from Bepo as kids after bepo grew out of it that is all

[storiesforallfandoms]

proud ~ cillian murphy

word count: 2015

request?: yes!

@shady80smusicsingercolor​ “The reader was always tried to get them proud,but nothing,one day the reader remembers their parents how they were never supportive or proud,the reader cried, cillian was passing by their dressing room,he stop cuz he heard the faithful tears,he came in,he ask what's wrong,and the reader explain how their parents never were proud of them but their siblings yeah,and ask him"what's wrong with me"and cillian reassures the reader nothing wrong with them but with their parents yeah,he told the reader he was Damm proud of them”

description: when you’re reminded of your rough childhood, your co-star is there to lift you up when you’re feeling down

pairing: cillian murphy x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angst

masterlist

You were in the middle of taking a picture of yourself in your costume when your phone buzzed. A notification at the top of the screen read that you had you were tagged in a post on Facebook, by your mum.

You cringed, immediately knowing what it would be.

A picture of your mum, dad, and sister sat around a table at a restaurant popped up on your screen. The caption for it read, “A special dinner for our beautiful daughter, who just scored another win on a case!” As per usual, she had tagged your dad, your sister, and you. Not because they wished you were there, but to remind you of your sister’s accomplishments and their pride in them.

Your parents made it very clear at a young age that your sister was the favourite child. They had a vision for the future of their kids, one that included a high paying job and eventually a family, and your sister was the one to follow this vision, in their eyes anyways.

Your sister was a straight A student all throughout her school years, and was accepted into law school with a full scholarship right out of high school. You, on the other hand, found yourself falling in love with acting. You were in drama club all through school and often starred in the school plays and musicals. When you graduated high school you were accepted into one of the biggest art schools, and of course you went.

Your parents were less than enthusiastic about your path, even after your acting career took off. They viewed acting as not being  a “real job” and often ridiculed you, comparing you to your sister or reminding you of your sister’s accomplishments at every opportunity.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself. You had to remind yourself that just because your parents weren’t proud of you didn’t mean you should be so hard on yourself. You had a successful career, you were happy as an actress. You weren’t going to let them bring you down.

You went to the family group chat to send a congratulatory message to your sister, one that your parents would see and realize they weren’t going to get to you this time.

“Congrats on your case win sis!”

Your sister responded a moment later, “Thanks sis! you're fantastic on Peaky Blinders! I can’t wait until the next season!”

The text gave you a brief moment of happiness. You and your sister never had bad blood. You both understood that you took your own paths and there was no reason to give in to your parents patronizing.

The happiness faded when another message came, this time from your mum, “Did your sister tell you she was seeing someone? It’s pretty serious, we might have our first son in law soon.”

You tossed your phone to the floor and buried your head in your hands. Of course they were going to start taking jabs at your love life now. Now that your sister had a serious boyfriend they had something else to belittle you about.

You were trying to hold back your tear when a knock came at your dressing room door. You sighed and swallowed the lump in your throat. “Come in!”

Your co-star, Cillian, opened the door. You looked at him through your vanity mirror. “We’re about to start filming soon, are you ready?”

You nodded. “Yeah, just give me a minute and I’ll be out.”

“Are you okay?”

Being asked if you were okay when you were on the verge of tears was always the worst question. You had to look down so Cillian didn’t see the tears forming in your eyes.

“I’m fine,” you replied. “Tell everyone I’ll be out soon.”

Cillian crossed the room to sit next to you. You kept looking down at the vanity’s desk.

“For an actress, you’re not the best at acting like you’re okay,” he teased, causing you to laugh. “What’s wrong? And don’t say it’s nothing because you know I’ll force you to tell me.”

You knew there was no use in lying. Cillian knew you better than most people, he’d know you weren’t telling the truth.

You picked up your phone and passed it to Cillian, allowing him to read the most recent messages. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “I don’t get it, what does her love life have to do with either of your jobs? And why would your mum make a comment about him being a future son in law? Your sister even told her that she’s only been seeing the guy for six months.”

“Exactly!” you snapped. “It has nothing to do with the conversation, my mum just wants to tell me she has a new reason to ridicule me. I don’t have a real job, I haven’t had a serious relationship, I’m nowhere near having a kid or being married. But my sister, oh she’s the star child - a lawyer, has a boyfriend now, will probably give my parents their first grandchild.”

You buried your head in your hands again, finally allowing the tears to start flowing freely. You knew the makeup artist was going to be pissed, but you could care less at that moment. You couldn’t leave this frustration to build up while you were filming, it would just guarantee that you'd fuck up the scene and feel even worse.

Cillian took you into his arms, resting his head against yours as he ran a hand soothingly over your body.

“It’s alright,” he said. “It’s alright, let it all out.”

You felt comfortable in his arms, like it was the best place to be, and honestly, it was. Cillian was your closest friend on set of Peaky Blinders, probably your closest friend all together. There were many a times when he would hold you like this, whether it was a friendly hug, a scene on set, an idle gesture when the two of you were hanging out together. Being in Cillian’s arms was so soothing, it was exactly what you needed.

You finally pulled away and looked at yourself in the mirror. Luckily enough, since you were filming a show that was taking place in the early 1900s you didn’t have to wear too much makeup, mainly mascara and enough foundation that you didn’t look shiny on screen. The makeup artist on set had given you waterproof mascara, which again was lucky for you, but your foundation, however, was ruined from water streaks running down your cheeks.

You grabbed a makeup wipe from your vanity and began wiping the foundation from your face. You had foundation in your dressing room for moments like this, so that you could fix your makeup before scenes so no one would realize you were so upset.

“I get that they may not have viewed acting as a possible job back when I was in high school,” you said as you fixed your makeup, “but I’ve made an actual career from it. I’ve been in countless shows and movies, I’ve been nominated for awards and even won countless ones, and they can’t accept that. They can’t be proud of me for making a name for myself in my own way. They’ve never been proud of me. What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing!” Cillian told you. “Nothing is wrong with you. You’re an absolutely amazing person, and you’re so talented and amazing. Just because you chose a different path from your sister and because you’re not following in their footsteps or the path that your parents wanted you to take doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. There’s something wrong with your parents, they’re the assholes here.”

You sighed and shook your head, putting the foundation away. “This thing with my sister having a boyfriend is what’s really gonna start getting to me, I already know that. Being an actress I don't really have the time for a relationship, and I haven’t found a genuine guy that I want to be with because so many Hollywood guys are fake assholes who want to date you for their own professional gain. By the time I find someone to be with, my sister will probably be engaged with a child along the way and my parents will never let me live that down.”

As you spoke, Cillian was listening intently, until you got to the end of your rant. That’s when he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you towards him, pressing his lips to you. The gesture shocked you at first and you almost jerked your head away, but, just like being in his arms, kissing Cillian just felt so right. You relaxed into the kiss, cupping his face as well to hold him close.

He pulled away after a brief moment, smiling at you as he did so. “Am I one of those asshole famous people do you think?”

You giggled. “Oh God no, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met.”

“Well then, this nice person thinks you’re the most amazing person he has ever met, and that your parents couldn’t be more wrong in the way that they treat you. And this nice person wants to take you out on a date when we’re finished with filming today.”

You smiled brightly. “I would love to go out after filming today. But to do that, we should get to filming.”

Realization passed Cillian’s face. “Shit, you’re right. Let’s go.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” you said as Cillian stood. “You go and tell them I’m sorry I’m late but it’s family issues.”

Cillian nodded, leaning down to kiss you once more, before leaving the room.

You took your phone in your hand and checked the family chat to see that the last message was from your sister, explaining to you that her and her boyfriend hadn’t even been together for long and chastising your mother for her message. You took a deep breath and began to type out one final text message.

“I’m really happy for your relationship, sis, and I’d love to meet him, but this is my final message in this groupchat. I’ll be leaving the chat and taking mom and dad off of Facebook. I also probably won’t even tell you guys when I’m visiting home since you’ve made it clear that you don’t even want to see me. I know that I haven’t conformed to your beliefs of “success”, but I love where I’ve gone in life and I’m happy with my career. I’ve been in countless TV shows and movies and I’ve won awards for those things. I love my job, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. As for my love life, if either of you ever cared enough to check in on me instead of flaunting (Y/S/N)’s accomplishments in my face you’d know that I too am seeing someone. Too bad you’ve officially burned all bridges and won’t be meeting him now, but what can you do? Feel free to call if you ever decide to be proud of your youngest daughter for where she is in life and not just for your oldest because she followed the life that you tried to force upon us (I love you sis, don’t take this as an insult)”

After hitting send, you left the chat and promptly blocked both of your parents on Facebook. You took a deep breath and sighed heavily. It felt like a weight had been taken off of your shoulders then.

You inspected your makeup in the mirror to make sure it looked fine before getting up and finally walking to set. The rest of your co-stars were gathered, waiting, when you finally arrived.

“Sorry I’m late,” you told them. “Family stuff. I’m ready to go if you guys are.”

Everyone started getting in place. As the camera was being set up, Cillian looked at you with a little concern on his face. “Everything alright?”

You smiled at him, suddenly feeling more confident than you ever had. “I feel great. Let’s kill this scene.”

[nekojitachan]

My kitty and I agree that we'd love to see more not in the stars. She wants to see that kitty representation.

Well, this isn’t Not in the Stars (not yet), but it’s kitty representation? Sorta? It’s what hit me when I sat down to write yesterday, and hopefully now that it’s out of the way, I can get into Not in the Stars.

It’s not Death!Neil, but it’s Cat!Neil! This is the set-up for the sequel to No Ordinary Cats, basically (Cat and Mouse, unless I think of a better title).

Uhmm, think it’s pretty safe - the violence is all off-screen/in the past, mention of NIcky’s past, Aaron’s past, Andrew’s past and Neil’s past (all very vague), of someone being homophobic (potentially), and potential drug use. All vague.

*******

Andrew pulled off on the side of the road on 76 near Lake Murray, before it merged into 26 outside of Columbia and when the traffic was non-existent; he got out to stand by the passenger side while he lit a cigarette. It only took a couple minutes before the door opened and Neil emerged, fully clothed. It was the first time his boyfriend was in his human form since that morning; he preferred to spend the time in the car curled up on Andrew’s lap unless he was driving (which was rare considering his utter disregard for traffic laws and confusion every now and then on what side of the road to drive on).

“Almost there?” Neil asked as he hesitated a moment before he leaned against Andrew’s left side, a warm, welcome presence; he wore one of Andrew’s old hoodies and black skinny jeans with tears at the knees.

“About two more hours,” Andrew informed his furball of a boyfriend as he rubbed the back of Neil’s nape, which prompted a faint purr. “Hungry?”

Neil raised his right hand and tilted it back and forth through the air in a ‘so-so’ sign, which meant that he could hold out a while longer and left getting food up to Andrew. “Just want to get this over with, to be honest.”

“We’ll hit a drive-thru,” Andrew settled on before he took one more long drag on the cigarette then tossed it aside, not eager to meet his ‘dear’ family but wanting to get it ‘over with’, too. He gave Neil’s nape a gentle squeeze before he let go and returned to the driver’s side of the new Maserati, the one indulgence he’d allowed himself after the whole Malcolms debacle (that Neil had practically insisted upon after the Nissan had been totaled).

There was something to be said for Neil in cat form curled up on Andrew’s lap while he drove, a silky-furred, purring creature he could pet in a soothing, mindless manner while he sped down the highway… yet having a gorgeous redhead in the passenger seat who smiled and chatted away about various landmarks or mocked idiots who drove below the speed limit was also nice. It wasn’t that Neil didn’t like to spend time with Andrew in his human form (oh did he enjoy his time with Andrew when they were alone and he wasn’t a cat), it was just after dealing with the last of his father’s people hunting him down but finding out that his mother’s family were looking for him, Neil was being extra-careful while they relocated across the country.

Across the country to Andrew’s long-lost family.

Andrew’s long-lost family, which he’d been more than ‘happy’ to ignore the last few months, except that they now gave him and Neil a logical excuse to leave California (to leave the scene of the crime, so to speak) and set up a new life far away from everything – Andrew reconnecting with the bastards who’d abandoned him.

He didn’t give a fuck about some identical twin his druggie (and now dead) mother had kept instead of him and an unknown cousin who’d stepped in to help said twin, but it gave him an excuse to get Neil the fuck out of Oakland before these mysterious Hatfords tracked him down.

Tracked them down.

Andrew wondered if he’d given something away in his posture or scent because Neil slowly, cautiously, reached over to place his left hand over Andrew’s right one on the gear shift. “If this doesn’t work out, we can always go somewhere else,” he offered in a quiet voice.

Andrew clicked his tongue as he entwined their fingers together. “I’m not going to Toronto or wherever north you have in mind so you can frolic in the snow.”

Neil scowled even as he tightened his fingers around Andrew’s. “Canada’s a civilized country that doesn’t believe in declawing cats in some parts, why wouldn’t I want to go there?” he asked with a sarcastic tone of voice. “You’ll just love Nova Scotia once you give it a chance.”

“That sounds rather cold to me.”

“As cold as your heart, apparently.”

They spent much of the drive to Nicky Hemmick’s house bickering, which Andrew privately enjoyed (not that he’d admit it); when he did stop for food, he made sure to pick a place that had fish sandwiches, just to tease his boyfriend. Neil gave him one of his haughty ‘cat looks’ but ate the thing, never one to turn down food that was still good (or mostly good – the furry bastard had an iron stomach). By the time they’d reached Hemmick’s house, the conversation had switched to Neil needing to wear a licensed tag while in his cat form and what type of collar Andrew was going to buy him (Andrew was leaning toward spiked black leather).

“If you even think of putting a bell on me, your precious leather seats will be shredded beyond repair,” Neil threatened as they pulled into the driveway of a small house with faded yellow paint but with recently cut grass. “Uhm, is this it?”

“So the GPS says,” Andrew drawled as he put the Maserati in park. “What did you expect for two guys barely of legal age?”

“Uhm….” Neil’s fine brows drew together as he seemed to think about that. “But you were doing all right on your own.”

Andrew snorted at that as he turned off the car; he noticed that someone had flipped on the porch light and figured they’d have company soon. “All right in a one-bedroom apartment.”

Neil turned to smile at him even as he undid his seatbelt. “But I liked our apartment.”

So had Andrew; the place had grown beyond a place to crash into something more the last several months, someplace that had belonged to him and Neil.

Now they had to start over again, with two strangers.

“Follow my lead,” Andrew reminded his boyfriend in the French he’d learned from the furball as the front door opened to reveal a young man with black curly hair and a dark complexion wearing brightly colored clothes – Nicky Hemmick. “And let me do the talking.”

“What talking?” Neil murmured, yet he gave a slight nod in acknowledgement.

Nicky waved in excitement as he rushed down the porch steps toward the car, which made Andrew sigh as he reluctantly left the vehicle; Neil did the same, though he paused slightly when another figure, almost identical to Andrew, slipped out onto the porch. Aaron Minyard was dressed in baggy jeans and an oversized blue t-shirt, his blond hair cut short on the sides and left spiky on the top. Andrew only spared him a moment’s thought before he stood in front of the Maserati with Neil behind him as Nicky barely came to a stop a couple of feet away.

“Hi! You made it! We were getting worried because of the time but you made it! And wow, what style! Nice ride, cuz! Nice ride and nice cutie!” He gave a too-appreciative look at Neil while Andrew caught Aaron grimacing at the comment. “You are the boyfriend, right? You’re-“

“He’s Neil, and he’s off-limits,” Andrew warned while Neil shuffled even more behind him as if to hide, spooked as always by strangers like the half-feral creature he was. “We were slowed down by an accident outside of Asheville this morning.”

“Uhm, okay.” Nicky gave a nervous laugh as he finally got the hint and took a step back. “You still made good time, but I guess it helps to have such a nice ride.” He cast an envious look at the Maserati before he shook his head. “Where are my manners? Come on in, do you need any help with your stuff? We’ve a room ready for you and there’s food!”

“We got it,” Andrew informed the- his cousin, he reminded himself, aware of Aaron’s silent, sullen attention from the porch as he and an anxious Neil fetched their few belongings which had survived the run-in with the Malcolms from the back of the Maserati.

Neil had always traveled light and was a creature of few possessions, and had only been upset about losing his blanket from their apartment being trashed; once it was clear that he was staying with Andrew, he’d converted the contents of his binder to digital accounts. Andrew was annoyed over the loss of a pair of Doc Martens he’d broken in just right (and had taken that out on Romero Malcolm, along with the asshole daring to think he could treat Neil as a belonging), but otherwise had also learned to not grow attached to things. Once they’d decided to leave California, they’d stocked up on a few necessities and figured they’d get whatever else they needed once they hit Columbia.

Nicky clucked his tongue when he noticed the one duffel bag slung over Neil’s left shoulder and the two bags in Andrew’s hands. “That’s it? That’s all you have?”

“And an expensive as hell car,” Aaron muttered as he shuffled toward the door, his attention still focused on Andrew.

Andrew’s eyes narrowed slightly at the snide comment. “Life in the foster system taught me to keep things to a minimum,” he drawled, and felt a slight twinge of satisfaction when Aaron’s shoulders tensed at the jab and Nicky’s breath hitched.

“What about the boyfriend,” Aaron asked, his tone bitter as he glanced over his shoulder while he opened the squeaky storm door. “He a foster kid, too?”

“Vagabond, you could say,” Neil called out as he followed Andrew close enough to be his shadow, his steps just as quiet. “My mom didn’t like to stay in one place very long.”

“What about your dad?” Nicky asked, and judging from young man’s stunned expression, Neil had graced him with that smile. “Uhm, yeah, the house, let’s show you the house,” he sputtered in a rush to change the topic. “It’s not much, but it’s something!”

Perhaps, perhaps not, but it was better than a trashed apartment, a bunch of uncomfortable questions which Andrew (and Neil, especially Neil) didn’t want to answer, and a too obvious starting point for some freaky cat-shifting British mobsters with unknown intentions on the hunt for Neil. The only person who knew about Andrew’s suddenly unearthed family (other than a certain furball who was checking out their surroundings with an intensity that Andrew could feel from behind him) was Pig Higgens, who the doctors gave a twenty percent chance of regaining consciousness one day after his run-in with the ‘lovely’ Lola.

Unless these Hatfords could manage to wake the not-quite dead somehow.

They entered the house to step into a kitchen at least twenty years past due for a renovation; the floor was covered with clean but worn linoleum, the cupboards were small, metal ones painted the same pale green as the walls, and the white countertop bore a few chips in spots. Yet it was clean (except for a couple dishes in the sink) and showed signs of personality (the novelty mugs and dish towels, the curtains with smiley faces, the magnets featuring male pin-up models on the fridge), was better than most of the kitchens in the foster homes where Andrew had grown up.

“You can, uhm, just set the bags down for now,” Nicky told them with a nervous smile as he gestured to an open spot off to the side, near the doorway which led to what looked to be the living room. “I’ll give you the grand tour after something to eat? I made chicken enchiladas, I figured if you’re from California you must like Mexican food.”

They hadn’t eaten much that day, the stop for fast food aside, so Andrew nodded, which made Nicky grin with satisfaction. “Just sit down, I’ll make up your plates.”

Neil waited for Andrew to sit first and grabbed a chair at the table next to him, even scooted it closer, his pale blue eyes quick to take in everything and lean body tense as if ready to spring into motion at any moment; Andrew knew that he wanted to shift into his cat form and poke his whiskered nose into every crevice of the house until no spot was left uncovered, to ensure that the place was safe and find a hidey hole or two. Since that wasn’t possible right then, Andrew reached out to rest his right hand on his boyfriend’s nape and gave a blank look at his brother when Aaron gaped at him.

“Ah, so you like guys, too,” Aaron eventually spit out with a small moue of disgust which nearly made Nicky drop a plate over by the sink; a drop of sweat ran down the side of his face and his hazel eyes slightly glazed.

Andrew continued to gaze at his brother while he rubbed his thumb along the side of Neil’s neck. “You hiding something from me, FB?”

Neil made a faint spitting sound as he gently nudged Andrew in the side with his bony elbow. “Considering how often you threaten to neuter me? Not funny.”

“Well, there you have it,” Andrew told Aaron with a slight nod. “I seem to ‘like’ guys.”

“You like tormenting people,” Neil murmured in French as he glanced around the room through his overlong bangs, only to repeat the faint spitting noise when Andrew ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s thick hair – the wrong way. “See!”

Aaron stared at them in disbelief while a smiling Nicky returned to the table with two plates. “This is all such a surprise – I mean, first finding out about you after Aunt Tilda died, and then when you’re finally willing to talk to us, that you have a boyfriend and want to come here!” Nicky’s expression grew wistful while Aaron glanced aside as if he found the stove to be of paramount interest. “I mean… we’re so happy you’re here, but it’s… well, I’m happy to have something in common already,” he admitted as he twisted his fingers around a silver chain he wore. Then his expression turned almost lecherous. “We both have excellent taste, cuz!”

“How are we even related?” Aaron mumbled as he got up from the table to fetch a can of soda from the fridge with trembling hands, then left the room without another word. Nicky stared after him with a worried expression, while Neil gave their meals a few careful sniffs before he picked up a fork and began to eat.

Judging that to mean it was fine to do the same, Andrew started breaking up the three cheese-covered enchiladas on his plate while Nicky jumped up to fetch them something to drink as well. “Uhm, I’m sorry about that,” the young man babbled after he set the soda down in front of them. “Aaron’s been through a lot in the last few months, between Tilda’s death, finding out about you, me appearing and deciding to stick around to help him out and now you guys showing up.” He gave a nervous laugh as he toyed with the chain once more. “He’s not so much homophobic as… well, my parents and aunt are ‘old school’, I guess you could say about it.” Nicky’s dark eyes dulled with an old pain and his smile faltered when he talked about his family. “He’s got a lot to unlearn.”

Andrew frowned while he swallowed a bit of dinner (it was pretty good). “He better learn quickly.” He wasn’t going to put up with Aaron sniping at Neil, brother or not.

Nicky appeared ready to argue at that, then glanced at Neil, who had finished two of the enchiladas and pushed the remaining one around on his plate (a sure sign that he was full); when Andrew scooped it on his plate, Nicky smiled. “I’m sure he will.”

The rest of the meal was spent with Nicky babbling about the house and where everything was, his job as a waiter at a local diner, and the neighborhood. Once they were done eating, he did indeed give them a tour of the house (Aaron ignored them from his spot on the couch), culminating with the bedroom on the second floor which was ‘theirs’. “It’s not much, but the bed’s new and something tells me you two won’t mind sharing.” Nicky gave an exaggerated wink while Andrew reminded himself of all the reasons (not many) why killing his cousin right then would be bad.

Mostly they had to do with the Hatfords.

As soon as the pest left and closed the door behind him, Neil was busy examining almost every inch of the room, checking the windows and beneath the furniture (behind as well), crawling into the closet and standing on the tips of his toes to look up the walls as much as possible; Andrew sat down on the bed to watch the show. “You gonna pull up the rug, too?”

Neil gave him another haughty look. “I want to make sure it’s okay.” His hands twitched and crept toward the hem of his shirt.

“No,” Andrew said in a rush as he straightened up. “No changing, not tonight, not until I put on the new lock,” he insisted as he gave the door a potent look. “And then not outside the room until they’re both out of the house.” They’d talked about it on the drive to Columbia, the rules for Neil’s shifting in a household of strangers.

Neil made a low growl of frustration as he stalked toward the bed then curled up next to Andrew, only to relax against him once Andrew threaded his fingers through Neil’s auburn curls. “It’s… it’s so difficult. I want to make sure it’s all right, to know we’ll be all right here.”

“We will,” Andrew assured his lover as he held out his left forearm; even with the armband covered by the sleeve of his black t-shirt, Neil understood the meaning behind the gesture, as when Andrew motioned to the bag which contained the gun he’d pocketed from Romero Malcolm. “We’re prepared this time.”

“Hmm.” A slight purr escaped Neil as he rested his head against Andrew’s right shoulder. “Still, I’ll be happy when I can check everything in both forms.” He was quiet (save for the faint rumbling which was softer in his human form) for about a minute before he slowly pulled away. “About Aaron.”

Andrew frowned as his hand dropped from Neil’s hair. “Yeah? He’s a bit of an asshole.” When Neil’s upper lip twitched as if to form a smile, he gently flicked his boyfriend on the nose. “Collar with a bell,” he taunted.

“Shredded leather,” Neil shot back as he swiped his right hand over his face, then became serious once more. “He smells… odd.” At Andrew’s unspoken question, Neil’s brows drew together. “Something chemical.”

Andrew had caught the slight shake to his twin’s hands earlier, and the sweat on his forehead even as they sat in the air-conditioned kitchen. “Hmm.” Something to consider. However, right then he was tired from driving for a few days and just wanted to enjoy being on a comfortable bed with Neil stretched out next to him.

*******

[okaybutlikeimagine]

could you write something like this? max realizes that billy is gay and has a crush on steve,( the fight at byers happened few weeks ago.) so she drops hints that she supports him like drawing rainbows, wearing love wins/rainbow t-shirts or smth like this (its still80s) one day max finds billy crying in his room, she knows its not neil cuz hes not even home so she walks to him. he admits to her that he likes steve and max says finally he realized that an hugs him

Ohmydear yes okay i love Max and Billy bein cute, irritated, but supportive little siblings and will always write anything w/ them. So it sounds like we’re just goin’ w/ canon from Season 2 here, yeah??

So Max loves Billy a lot and i’ve talked about this before a couple times, but Max was w/ Billy through a LOT and saw Billy go through a lot and i just think that they’d be very connected. In their own way, of course. They’re not as giggly and smiley as Billy and El would be but they’re definitely close. He does her hair and cooks her dinner and taught her how to skateboard. They love each other and no one is ever ever gonna tell me otherwise. Those two kids have been through hell together, tell me they haven’t. They’ve dealt w/ so much and Billy himself talks about how they’re family and they just love each other. They’re siblings and they only want the best for each other, seriously. They’re both firecrackers sure, they bicker a LOT, but they’re siblings and Max has seen so much of Billy’s pain.

And after the fight and everything that happened at the Byers, Billy retreats into himself. He’s in his room whenever he’s home. He doesn’t even come outside to watch TV or lift weights. He sits in his room and he doesn’t play his music too loud and he barely looks at Max when they pass each other in the hall. He doesn’t talk to her on the way to school or even do so much as look at her.

And when they park once they get there, Billy stays. He sits in the car and he doesn’t make a move to leave. He turns the music off, turns the car off, and stays still.

The first time he does it, Max sits still with him. She waits for him to say something, looks at him with growing confusion on her face, until he turns to her with a glare and a “What’re you looking at? Go to school.” 

She scrunches her nose up and leaves the car.

It’s then that she notices Steve just about to get out of his car. She waves to him. He waves back.

Billy does this for a whole week before she realizes, really realizes, what Billy’s doing. Because he sits there and he huffs a bit and he looks in his rearview mirrors. Sometimes he shifts around, as if he’s keeping his eyes on something. And one day she’s sitting there, finishing up homework bc she knows Billy isn’t going to kick her out of the car, when Billy freezes. His whole body is tight with anticipation and Max looks over to wonder what’s wrong when Steve walks past the window. Billy tracks him all the way. HIs leg is bouncing and he’s trying to fist one of his pant legs but they’re too tight to do so.

Max realizes suddenly. She’s watched for the past few weeks, and even some time before that, where Billy gives Steve a hard time. Brushes up against him on their way out of school. Smiles widely at him during lunch. Waggles his tongue almost every time he sees him.

And now he’s so much more reserved. He still messes with Steve after school and during lunch, but never in the morning. He’s quiet and watchful and… upset in the morning.

But she doesn’t know what to do. She’s always suspected that Billy’s gay. He would smile a lot at boys on the Boardwalk back in San Diego. He’d laugh with them and give them soft touches on the shoulder and arm. As he got older they’d disappear for hours at a time and leave her to build sandcastles by herself on the beach.

But California was a different place. Southern California was all sun and warmth and softness. Lots and lots of people, too many to know everyone, too many to worry about anyone other than yourself and your friends. Sometimes Max misses it, but she knows it breaks Billy when he thinks about it. He gets real pissed when she talks about her new friends so she doesn’t anymore. She sees the way his eyes dim at the mention of her liking this place.

Being friendly with boys isn’t the same here as it was in San Diego. Max knows it. She hears the things they call Will just for being a little quieter than others. He doesn’t even give them any reason to call him that, they just yell it like they’re throwing rocks.

So Max wants to help Billy. She wants to give him support in whatever way she can but the thing is, he’s so closed off and distant and irritated and high strung and mad and she doesn’t really blame him.

So she does what she can. She asks her mom if she can buy shirts with more colors in them. Rainbow sleeves and stripes. A few rainbow hairpins. Her mom is ecstatic about it.

“Oh, these are going to look so pretty on you when you pin your hair back! Everyone can see that lovely face!”

Max scrunches her nose and sticks her tongue in her cheek.

But she starts wearing her new rainbow shirts. Her new hairpin. She smiles at him a bit more.

“That’s a lot of color for you.”

Max is kind of nervous about it, but she gives Billy a kind smile anyway.

“Yeah, just… trying something new. Rainbows are cool.”

He raises an eyebrow as he starts his car and begins to drive.

She makes a point to listen to different music. Elton John, Queen, Prince… She feels like she’s kind of on the nose but she just… she’s trying. Billy still ignores her and avoids her. Doesn’t talk to her more than he needs to and she worries about it.

Billy seems to notice after a while. He flicks the rainbow clip in her hair and pulls at her sleeve and blasts Queen on their drive to school while sneering at Max and asking if she has a crush on Freddie Mercury. As if he doesn’t tap his finger along to every song and as if he doesn’t eye the magazine covers that sport Freddie in the grocery store with very clear attraction. Overall, he’s a pest but he still doesn’t say much to her. But he does starts to smile a little when she smiles at him.

Except… one day when she skates home from the arcade, things change. Only Billy’s Camaro is in the driveway.

Max’s heart calms a bit. Billy’s nicer when they’re home alone. He flicks her ear and pulls her hair sometimes but he leaves her alone. Or he’ll play music for them to listen to. He always makes her dinner and sometimes he lets her help and it’s nice. She always looks forward to being home alone, so they can be friendly without the pretense of resentment.

“I’m home!” Max calls, closing the door behind her. Billy doesn’t call back, but he hasn’t in the last few weeks so she doesn’t really mind it.

On her way to her room she looks inside Billy’s room briefly to see…

“Billy?”

He’s sitting on his bed, knees drawn in, head in his hands, shaking slightly, hair ragged.

She walks in timidly, worried more than anything because as calm as Billy is when they’re home alone, he’s been so on edge recently. And he’s an emotional time bomb when he’s this upset. When he cries he screams and punches walls and kicks couches and slams doors. He’s shoved her on multiple occasions while he was crying and she tried to sneak into his room to help, so she just doesn’t anymore.

But… but he’s shaking and she’s been trying so hard and she can’t let this go. So she sits on his bed, scoots a little closer to him when he doesn’t throw a fit, and pulls her knees up to her chest too. They’ve both got their backs against the headboard, knees pulled up, feet together in front of them.

“Billy?” She tries again. He sniffles, pulling his head out of his hands and rubbing at his nose while he turns his face away. “Are you-?”

“I hate it here.”

Max’s heart falls. His voice is so broken.

“I hate it. Fuck this town.”

Max just sits there, staring at her socked feet, wriggling her toes out of nervousness.

“You’re so fucking lucky.”

Max looks up at him, but he’s still looking away.

“How?” She asks dumbly. His chuckles are sour.

“In every damn way. You get everything.”

She doesn’t know what to do. She decides sitting there and letting him talk might be the best idea. So he talks.

“You don’t have to fucking worry about all of this or… or freak out about Neil or Susan finding out who-what you are and you don’t have to fucking… you don’t have to deal with this bullshit. Fuck this.”

Her heart is beating bc this feels so personal. Like he’s finally about to admit it. Like he’s about to let Max in.

He’s sniffling, rubbing at his nose. It’s kinda gross but Max is gross when she cries too so she tries not to think about it too much.

“What’s wrong, Billy?”

Billy sighs out hard, thumping his head back against the headboard.

“Steve.”

Max’s heart is in her throat.

“What about Steve?”

Billy knocks his head back again.

“He’s… stupid. I hate him.”

Max huffs out a laugh and Billy knocks his shoulder into her.

“Seriously?” She asks.

“Yeah. He’s stupid and I hate his face because it’s so fucking pretty. It’s not fucking fair. It shouldn’t be legal.”

Max’s heart is speeding away from her. It always does this when Billy opens up to her.

“So you…? Hate Steve?”

Billy nods. “More than anything.”

“Because he’s pretty.”

“Yup.”

Max clears her throat.

“That kinda sounds like the opposite of hate.”

Billy sighs out again. “Fine. Fucking fine, smartass. I… I like him. He’s pretty and it makes me sick.”

Max feels red color her face because she’s so fucking happy to hear those words come out of his mouth.

“I think I am sick.” Billy mutters, but Max reaches out and hugs him. It’s the first hug she’s given him in months but she can’t help it. Her heart is beating wildly bc she feels so close to him and she’s so proud of him and she wants to help and-

“Took you long enough, you moron.”

Billy smacks the side of her head lightly but she just holds on tighter.

“Is this why you started dressing like the Gay Fairy threw up on you?”

“Shut up, I was trying to be supportive!”

[madmaddy-life]

So, there was a remaster of Saints Row The Third recently. And as a hardcore fan, who played every game in the franchise (except the first one, which I believe was made for Xbox 360? And the PS3 relise never saw the light of day. But that doesn’t matter, since I have only PS4 and PC), I decided that I NEED to see what they’ve made to the game. I think that the remaster was made by a company named Sperasoft (which is a russian company. Well, at least they have an hq in Saint Petersburg and one of the founders is russian). Saints Row The Third is one of my fav in the SR franchise. And I’ve played it a lot. Like, A LOT.

What can I say about the remaster?

Good things:

Every texture is a high res now. Everything looks sharp and clean, and pretty. All of the menus and texts, icons and stuff now has sharp edges, it’s detailed and clear.

Everything in the environment looks nice, textures of the buildings and stuff. The grass, ground and trees are much more detailed now. The light effects, shines and reflections are beautiful. Weather effects are good too, like the rain and the fog. The skybox is pretty neat. Sunsets and sunrises now really cool, the fact that you can see the sun and the moon AND they emanate light - is awesome. I think the light effects are the really big thing they’ve upgraded, and there’s like, realistic light effects.

The models of the citizens and the background characters in the cutscenes are now looking good. Like, that dude who hands Monica Hughes her scissors, are now looking cute af, and not like he has a sack of potato spuds instead of a head. I was genuenely happy for him. I was like, look at that helpful little cutie, you take the scissors from him, lady, don’t upset my little dude! I also think they may have added some animations for those pedestrians and people around you, but I may be wrong...

The models of main characters are now looking a bit different, they’re more real-like looking, and have detailed textures and stuff. Some characters look completely different from the original. Like Сyrus Temple or Phillipe Loren, for example. They’ve been improved drastically.

Cars. The cars in the game are now looking very cool. Like, I was amazed at the way they look now in the modification menu, and I spent a lot of time just modifying cars, because I liked the way they look and I’m a sucker for some muscle cars...

Now to the bad things...

Bad Things:

Some things were still pixelated af. Like, for instance, comic pages in the cutscene with Pierce in the store. They were so bad looking compared to everything else, it was upsetting.

There were some instances when I’ve encountered “floating” structures. Like, boxes, some S.T.A.G. crates, ladders or borders that float like 4-5 inches above the ground. I don’t know if that was like it was in the original, but... Yeah.

There’s a lot of grass. AN INSANE amount of grass sometimes. And it’s placement MAKES ZERO SENSE. Like, I was driving on a bridge, on a highway, and in the spot where the bridge road connects to the street - grass. There was like a huge spot of tall grass bushes poking through asphalt. Like, it wasnt a place, where the asphalt is old and cracked, and weared down, where weeds and plants can take over and sprout. It was a MIDDLE of the road. There’s also has been a spot, same thing, paved area infront of the house which was flooded with ferns. Why? Who the heck knows. FERNS.

Some characters now do not look like themselves. And I’d exuse it if their facial animation was good, but they look kind of dead. Sometimes their eyebrows don’t move at all, and the eyebrows is the most expressive part of our face. Like, really. Shaundi now has this constant resting bitch face and I know, she kind of had this expression in the original. But I think all the main characters were more expressive and animated there, than in the remaster. It seems like, new models don’t move their faces the same way. Even the Boss had kind of a dead expression in some of the cutscenes, though I confess they were animated more than the others. (there was something wrong with their eyes though. Light was hiting them a wrong way or something like that. My dude had some sharp lines around his eyes, and I couldn’t figure out if those were eyelashes or what??) Now, because of this lack of animation, the voice acting did not match the movement of the mouth. Sometimes characters looked like fishes flapping their mouths. No articulation whatsoever. Sadly this was not consistant through the game, some cutscenes looked good and the characters’s faces in them were animated well, in others - no. Also, some remade characters looked good. Like I said Cyrus and Loren now look improved. Kinzie looks nice. (I was about to talk about Killbane, but I, like an idiot did not unmask him, by a stupid mistake! So I have no idea how his freaking face looks like. But I will unmask this son of a gun, and I’ll see...). They also kind of re-made Oleg, he now has much softer look to him, but man, his eyes look weird, like his eyelids and shape of the eye looks odd, like, triangular. Do not like that. Do not like how Shaundi’s face looks now. Pierce’s face would be fine, IF he had more emotions to him, he has none. Gat looks okay, but like, he “dies” in the first ten minutes, so what does that matter? Lol. I can talk about others faces even more, but, yeah, the main complaint - lack of facial animation.

The colours of the cars are much darker now, so I can’t re-create my banana-mobile now }: ( The banana-yellow now looks like muddy mustard, baby poop and shit... That upsets me deeply.

All in all, I was okay playing the game and I still like it nontheless. I was happy to play through it again with my Boss Ion and to see all the characters, hear the lines and stuff. BUT, it seemed to me, that whenever there was something good and the things were improved, a part of them was raw and incomplete. Like, they made this part better, but forgot to fix this part, they upgraded this, but forgot to upgrade the following thing. It felt like some parts were missing. And that this remaster needed to be polished more. I mean, at the first glance it looks cool. It really does. But then you start to look closer and you notice these imperfections and they kind of ruin everything good that was made.

Maybe I am being nitpicky, I dunno. I sincerely wish nothing but improvement for the Volition team. I’d be glad if they saw this, I guess. But maybe it’d be better if they don’t }XD Cuz, I mean, I think it would be cooler to make a remaster of SR2 AND\OR make a port of SR1 for PC. I’m just sayn’...

[willow-of-hingashi]

Fighting Something Fierce [RP]

(( Rating: PG-13 ))

(( Trigger Warning: Mentions and displayed symptoms of an eating disorder, crude language, discussion of death )) (( Genre: Slice of Life, Angst ))

(( Cast: Emmaline Ibori of @the-firetouched​ and Nobuyuki ‘Ichihiko’ Ienaka ))

Emmaline Ibori a hefty knock is heard on the door, followed by a muffled "It's me."

Nobuyuki Ienaka slipped shut the shinpo he was reading, going to slide it underneath the zataku to hide it. Perhaps a bit too far. . . he'd regret that later. With that, he rose, going along to get the door. "Ibori-san," he began with a soft smile. "So good to see you again. Come in, come in. I can make some tea."

Emmaline Ibori nods quickly, stepping in. She's more used to his politeness now, but it feels like a different thing entirely for her when it isn't around a bunch of people. She feels like a coarse pighair or something. The thought makes her blush a little orange. "Ah, yeah. Sounds good." She stuffs her hands in her pockets a moment as she steps in, as if afraid to mke his apartment dirty. "Nice little place you got."

Nobuyuki Ienaka shrugged as he closed the door. "You have my thanks. It really isn't much, but it was nice enough to afford on my salary from the okiya." Then, he moved away to head towards the kitchenette. "I was just reading an article about how to spot an authentic katana, compared to fake props made by tourist centers and scam artists. I think you would be interested in it."

Emmaline Ibori follows in nervously. The large pack is upon her shoulder once again, bearing within his gift. "...I would. Not that I got the...the, you know, fancy touch for something like that." Maybe one day. "Sorry I had ta leave the party early the other day...my Da called and he never does that. Thought he was dyin," she jokes flatly.

Nobuyuki Ienaka canted his head, pursing his chapped lips; he typically seemed more well-groomed. "I hope he was alright," he responded, just then looking down to Emma's shoes. ". . . ah, you can leave those at the door. Your boots, I mean. I'm trying to keep the wood quality and all so the landlord doesn't throw more of a fit than finding out I'm looking to get a pet snake!"

Emmaline Ibori looks down and curses herself lightly. She always forgets this rule...mostly because back home you're better off keeping shoes on..."Shit, sorry," she says, before hurrying to take them off. "Yeah, he was fine, just suddenly remembered I'd been out of the house a while." She shakes her head. The man tries, she supposed... She returns, shoeless. "A pet snake?" She grins a little at this. "I'll be honest, didn't peg ye for the type."

Nobuyuki Ienaka shook his head, smiling. The gesture made it more apparent that underneath his jaw line was puffy, but not exactly red. "Yes, I've been looking for a little creature to care for. I've thought, why not a snake? I've been really torn between a carpet python or a butterfly adder, but I may consider the python as it is less. . . dangerous, though the adders have good temperaments. Usually." He set a full kettle on the stove to boil. "They're beautiful in their own way, snakes. Elegant but capable predators."

Emmaline Ibori listens to this intently, but the subtle offness to his appearance begins to catch her eye, and she loses track of the conversation. She takes a few intent steps toward him before she realizes what she's doing. "You get into a fight recently?" she asks bluntly, before blinking and backtracking. "Er....not that it's my business otherwise but since I'm ye bodyguard I thought..."

Nobuyuki Ienaka 's brows furrowed in confusion as Emma came over, seeming genuinely uncertain where the question arose from. "No? I don't. . . I have you for that." The way he spoke, nothing seemed broken. Just irritated. Casually, he moved towards the table, though in passing it was apparent the area around his eyes had specks of red. Possibly broken blood vessels, but his makeup obscured some of it. "Come. I've brought your Starlight gift home with me, for safe keeping. It's fitting we make an exchange at the same time, no? Such is Starlight tradition, apparently. I've luckily found a chest to put yours in!"

Emmaline Ibori moves to sit across from him, which gives her time to regroup from her embarrassment. Something IS off, she can feel it, but Sterrwyda back home had beaten her over the head (lovingly) enough for outright stating someone who cared for their looks "looked tired" or something like that. So she sits and hoists her bag to the side as she reconsiders her approach. "I didn't," she says, sheepish. "Do you wanna go first or me?"

Nobuyuki Ienaka rubbed the back of his neck with his gloved hand. "Oh, goodness. . . I don't think you can take a chest home. . . maybe it wouldn't be so bad to open our gifts a day or two before Starlight." He shrugged, then going over to the nearby door. "Excuse me for one moment." He head inside to fiddle with something that sounded heavy. "O-Okay, close your eyes!"

Emmaline Ibori: "Heh." But she does close her eyes. If he needed help he would call right...?

Nobuyuki Ienaka head outside the room, his footsteps shuffling audibly as he tries to navigate through the doorway. "Okay, open!" His biceps are bulging while supporting the weight of the axe he was carrying. It was a refined, light-colored steel, pieced together at the handle with saurian leather. Within the head were elegantly constructed pattern; a dragon. "I've thought this was fitting enough for you. . . I do hope you like it!"

Emmaline Ibori opens her eyes and then nearly shoots to her feet. "Holy shit!" she says -- clearly appreciative -- as she hoists the axe in her hands. She feels its balance and its weight. "Ha! Wow...where did you find this? It's incredible!"

Nobuyuki Ienaka beamed with pride at Emma's reaction as he hoists the axe into her arms. "It's a secret," he cooed, "But perhaps Naldiq and Vymelli's made a special order for me. . . you know, dragons are a symbol of prosperity and good luck in the Far East. They are almost worshipped in Doma! I hope it brings you luck wherever the head lands so it strikes true. . . but I have no doubts with your talents."

Emmaline Ibori grins so brightly at Nobu -- it may be one of the few truly genuine smiles she's given in a long time. "...wow. I dunno what to say except thank you...I'm really honored!" She steps away to practice swinging it a few times. Ah. Nice. She turns back to him, smiling, though a bit sheepish now. "Heh, I should probably give you yours...though it uh...I got it in Thavnair cuz it made me think of...things you like." She clears her throat as she gently places the axe against the doorway near the exit, and then returns to the bag by the table. She digs a moment, and then pulls out a shimmery, sumptuous cloth...a gold and red brocade in the traditional style. She can't quite meet his face. "I'm...no good at this sort of thing but...anyway..."

Nobuyuki Ienaka placed his hands over his chest before going to take the brocade, running his fingers over it. "Oh, you really shouldn't have, Ibori-san. . . it's /gorgeous/! This is from Thavnair?" He looked back up to her again, his eyes bright, despite their puffiness. "I will have to commission this into a dress. Yes, that would be perfect. . . oh, and I know exactly what kind! Something long and flowing. . . oh, I can't wait! Something Hingan-inspired, with no collar or sleeves. . ." Abruptly, his gaze sank. "Perhaps with a shawl. . . I-I don't know if I could pull it off like that, but thank you. Really, thank you. It's gorgeous."

Emmaline Ibori: "Why not?" she asks, emboldened by his bright response to the gift. "You look good. You got toned arms. I couldn't wear that cuz I'd look like a chocobo in a blanket. But you'd look great." She seems legit confused by this statement. "I know you been a delight at the Onsen. Whoever this Johdi was or whatever."

Nobuyuki Ienaka touched his arms lightly with his right hand; the scabs on the knuckles made apparent. "Well, I mean. . . I think you're beautiful." His eyes shifted away. "I-I mean. . . I just do what I can for work. Just enough." A little more quickly and in a softer voice, he'd added, "Besides, I've broken up with Johdi."

Emmaline Ibori scoffs a little when he calls her beautiful, mostly out of instinct, but she gets the feeling he means it more than other people would and blushes. Still, he seems thrown off enough...and the admission regarding Johdi alongside with the scabbed up hand has her concerned. "...did it go okay?" She takes a moment and rubs her temples. "Look. I'm real bad at this, so, sorry, but...you seem...I dunno. Did she upset you real bad?"

Nobuyuki Ienaka set the staff of brocade down on the table. "It went fine- she accepted it great. W-We're still friends, I just. . . I'm not upset." Out of nowhere, his tone became accusing. Irritable. "I'm perfectly fine. Why do you care?" Currently, it was like someone else had taken his body. He'd felt that way, too. He was scowling, but his eyes shimmered slightly.

Emmaline Ibori recoils slightly at the sudden change in tone. Immediately, her mind centers and clears, as if about to enter a fight, and her hands clench -- but when she scans the situation, she realizes it may not be a fight at all. More like...she'd poked the nest, went a little far. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was stepping where she shouldn't. But she glances to the axe by the door. He cared, or he wouldn't have made that, right? She's not an idiot, and fairness is important to her. Equal exchange. So she thinks about it. Turning it over and over in her head in thick silence, watching him, until a dawning of something darkens her eyes. "It's my job, for starters," she says, real calm like. "And I ain't an idiot or a fool or you wouldn'a hired me. I also don't pry none else if you don't want. But...I..." She extends her hands out, before letting them slap to her sides again. "I just see what I see. Pretty flower fightin' somethin' real fierce."

Nobuyuki Ienaka recoiled slightly as if in disgust. Likely at his own actions rather than Emma's. He was tempted to blurt out that she wouldn't understand, but the root of it all, the start of it all. . . she'd probably could. "It's not that bad," he instead tries to insist, turning his face away from reality. "Sometimes I overeat. I don't. . . I can't become overweight. Then. . ." Then nobody would want him anymore. "The geisha at Sanjo Hanamachi-- they only cared because I was a 'pretty flower'." His eyes scavenged the room, searching for an answer that wasn't there. Only his father would understand him. ". . . you're angry, aren't you. Just like my mother was." He pushed the brocade further on the table and took a few steps away. ". . . maybe it is time for you to leave."

Emmaline Ibori raises her hands as if to show she had no weapons in this fight. "I ain't mad," she says, and her tone is truthful. "I ain't. I just a bit of...a chocobo in a glass shop? Never was good at keeping out of where I don't belong. If I think there's trouble..." She rubs the back of her neck. "...I'll leave if that's what you want. I din't come to upset ye, Ichihiko, honest." She clears her throat. "Ichihiko-san."

Nobuyuki Ienaka | People needed to stop becoming what they believed would make Nobuyuki approve. That was his job and his alone. Slowly, he turned, his feet padding lightly against the wood as his arms hung by his sides. "No. . . it is unbecoming of me to throw you out. I. . . I shouldn't do that. I'm sorry." He faced Emma. . . and bowed. He kept it for a while. "I can't stop making these mistakes," he stated. "I shouldn't burden you with them. . . I'm sorry. . ."

Emmaline Ibori squints at this in mild confusion. They were bouncin 'round like a marble on a shaky road, as Sterrwyda would say (also confusingly). But she felt that to be right. "What mistakes? You din't do anything 'cept get pissed when I step into not-my-business, which is yer right." All this about saving face -- it did not yet compute fully with her.  "I jus'..." She scowls. It's kinda amusing on her face in this context.

Emmaline Ibori: "I'm yer professional bodyguard, aye, but if you need help I can probably fit you in on the off hours. If ye needed." A gruff woman's bad attempt at saying that she cares.

Emmaline Ibori: "And...'scuse my language, but fuck 'em. Wear the dress. Eat what you want. Who's gonna tell you what to do now, the Gods?"

Nobuyuki Ienaka remained in place. A droplet of water fell from one of his eyes and landed on the corner of the table, reflecting light in that spot. "That. . . is the problem," he responded. "I feel so empty. . . I just eat. It fills me up until I get sick. Even when I'm not, I /make/ myself sick. Nobody. . . nobody was ever supposed to know." His eyes squeezed shut, still not looking to Emma, even upon rising. "It was supposed to be my burden my bear! I don't understand. . . why would you make time for someone pathetic, like me?" His hands rose to cover his face, like a child hiding from the truth when they've gotten caught.

Emmaline Ibori steps forward, hands hovering outward. She remembers enough at least to know that Hingans have Rules about this sort of thing, and its likely weird enough to be crying. On top of that, she's truly horrible at emoting like a normal Spoken being. She frowns heavily as he discusses his unfillable emptiness -- a problem she is not qualified to fix -- but when he turns the question upon her, she is unable to stop a mild 'heh'.

Emmaline Ibori: "Why ye think I'm still a freelancer after all this time?" she says. She smiles, but its self-effacing. "I ain't smart but I know meself well enough. I'm..." She looks away, gathering up her words. "...always lookin' for somethin' that ends up not bein' there. It's easier to freelance than pretend I'm part of something." She says nothing else about it, but this clearly has hit some core aspect of her. "But...fuck. Sometimes you just need a fuckin' friend, ya know? And like I said. Not too smart. So I always end up stickin' my nose in too far." Her tone is lightened -- perhaps to make him laugh.

Nobuyuki Ienaka slowly removed his hands from his face, revealing streams of black makeup running down his swollen cheeks. ". . . even if I'm not an exciting friend. . ." he replied, his shoulders slumping. "I don't go and fight pirates like you. I just talk to them until they get so drunk they're pissing in places they shouldn't be." He almost managed a smile. A teeny tiny one. "I appreciate it, but. . . I don't know what to do. Ever since Father passed. . . I haven't found someone who understands me the same way."

Emmaline Ibori: "Fightin' pirates can also get old," she says with a smirk. "You can damn trust me on that. I ain't fixin' to go to sea for a minute after my last job...but. Anyway." She leans back a little and crosses her arms over her chest, huffing mildly as she observes him. "Even seafarers sometimes have ta...stop. Everyone's got their thing. I'm not a good talker, Ichihiko-san, ye know that. I can listen. And...maybe you can find something that helps. Someone good at listenin' maybe."

Nobuyuki Ienaka worked with his fingers warily, looking down at the calluses. "I'll. . . I'll think about it," he replied, resigning his previously defensive stance. Just then, the kettle screeched, causing Nobuyuki to rush over, running eye makeup and all, to take it off. "Ah, right, tea. . . hey. . . do you. . . would- can you stay a while? For the night. I-If you have nowhere to go and that's alright with you." He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "T-To. . . I feel safer that way. For myself."

Emmaline Ibori blinks at this but after a long moment, she nods. "Y-yeah." She swallows down air around the uncharacteristic stutter. "O' course. I got nothin' but time. Not delivering somethin' to Ul'dah for another day or two. And I can sleep like a rock anywhere. It'll be funny." She smiles and approaches to offer her assistance with the tea. "...have you ever worn a big hat with a dress? Like a big sun hat? I seen ladies wear that sometimes..."

[smokeandjollyranchers]

This is a little follow up to this, since the idea hit me and @daciafu like a freakin’ freight train. So enjoy this FEELS fest that played out this way. 

Caleb gives Yussah the book they stole from Judge Hightower, only a slight tremor to his hands.

He takes it, flipping through the first few pages. A silver eyebrow arches as he does, and Yussah eyes Caleb with a slightly disapproving look. “And you just happened to find this?”

“Ja,” Caleb sits back in the couch, meeting his eyes. “A stroke of good luck.”

“I see.”

“I’ve seen a lot of things, so far.” Caleb tells him, scratching at his arms. “But nothing like this.”

“This certainly is something else.” Yussa agrees, his mouth drawing into a flat line. “I understand your curiosity. Allow me a couple days to look over your findings here, and perhaps we can come to a conclusion for what this happens to be.”

“I appreciate your help.” Caleb tells him, standing up to go. Yussah holds out his hand.

“Not so quickly, sit.”

Caleb swallows, but he does, waiting. He isn’t particularly happy to be visiting Yussah again so soon, but the book they found in Zadash is filled with runes he recognizes, and runes he doesn’t. The book had no business in the hands of a Judge, which means it was simply hiding in plain sight there.  There’s a chance they’ve alerted some very powerful people of its absence, and Caleb’s taken another big chance here, bringing this to Yussah’s door, but what choice did they have?

Yussah leans forward, his golden eyes narrowed. “Tell me, child, how do these increasingly powerful artifacts keep falling into your hands?”

“I simply keep my eyes open.”

“You and your friends, they’re just...along for the ride?”

“My friends are usually the ones making these plans.” Caleb tells him, hands clenched into fists. “They’re a curious group.”

“And what do they know of you? Has their curiosity turned itself to you yet? Have you figured out what you’ll tell them?”

“I…have told them plenty.”

“Will you tell them all?”

Caleb narrows his eyes, wondering why he’s getting angry. “I don’t see how this is pertinent to anything.”

“I told you to use who you need to, and you’ve come back to use me now. I’m allowing this, I’ll need you for something eventually, but your friends, do they understand what they’re being used for.”

“Do you?”

“I don’t know much about you, Widogast, but I’m curious to learn more. If I throw my hat in the ring with you, what gains will you bring me? What horrors? What nonsense by being tied to you and you friends will continue to knock against my tower? I intend to learn more, and if you won’t talk to me, I will talk to them.”

Caleb swallows hard, wondering for the thousandth time if Yussah will be the one to get him killed. The Elf leans back in his chair, snapping his fingers. Wentworth appears from a door that wasn’t there moments ago, sticking his head in. “Yes, sir?”

“Please escort Mr. Widogast out, and get the name of where he’ll be staying. We’ll send for him in a few days. And be sure to bring Caduceus when you come back, I’ve recently received a wonderful tea, I would like his opinion.”

Clearly dismissed, Caleb stands, following the well dressed goblin through the halls. Wentworth leads him to the door with a smile. “Here you are, sir! And where might I find you later?”

“We’ll be staying at the Lavish Chateau, thank you.” Caleb answers, all to happy to leave this tower. Outside, Nott is waiting for him, chewing on a fish he doesn’t remember her having before he went in there. She smiles at him as he approaches, and she gets to her feet.

“How did it go?”

He sighs, holding his hand out to her. She takes it, crawling up his arm to sit in his shoulder. “He makes me uneasy, but he’s agreed to take a look.”

“That’s good, at least. Was his little friend with him?”

“Wentworth? Ja, he was there. Still looking snazzy.”

Nott hums, taking another bit out of her fish. “I’d like to talk to him.”

“I’m sure we can make that happen,” Caleb smiles at her. “Ready to go back?”

“Yeah, I think everyone’s waiting for us.”

They arrive just in time for dinner, the two of them apologizing for the wait.

Their friends are seated at a table, Jester not with them yet. Beau leans on the table, elbows everywhere. “Was that dude still just a dick?”

“Oh ja,” Caleb tells her. “I think that’s his specialty.”

“What did he think about the book?” Fjord asks, handing him and Nott each a glass of wine.

“He’s not sure what to make of it either, but he’s going to take a look, and call for a us in a few days, after he’s had a chance to look through the book more.”

“Did he seem concerned?” Caduceus asks, and Caleb nods.

“There’s something in there he doesn’t trust, same as us. And he wants you to come back, he has some tea for you to try.”

Caduceus gives a slow smiles. “Well, that’s just great, I’ll be happy to join him again. That’s very kind of him.”

“He’ll be glad to hear it.”

Jester comes bouncing up to them then, a happy smile on her face. “Oh hey! You guys are back! That’s great! Mama has a show tonight, if you want to stay after dinner!”

“Of course we’ll stay.” Beau grins, a wicked curl to it. “Love watching your mom work.”

Jester sits down, resting her head in her hand and she looks at Beau with a grin. “You’re such a delinquent, you know that?”

“Awh, thanks Jess.”

X

As they’re getting ready for bed, Nott crawls up on the bed, a nervous look on her face. Caleb looks up from one of his books, his eyebrow raised. “Yes?”

“I want to ask you something, and I would prefer if you were honest with me? But I can’t make you be, so if you want to lie that’s okay too.”

Caleb closes his book, immediately on edge. “You are worrying me.”

Nott meets his eyes, and she takes a deep breath. “Do you…are you…is there something between you and Jester?”

His stomach drops, and he almost wishes she had asked him anything else. He would’ve much rather heard she was a double agent for the Empire than this. “What?”

Nott holds her hands up defensively. “Before you freak out-“

“Too late.”

“-You’ve said her name in your sleep. Like a couple times. Which is a lot for you. I’m just curious.”

“I don’t— no. There’s nothing between me and Jester. We are friends, as we’ve always been.”

Nott stares at him, deep in his eyes. He stares right back at her, in the strangest game of chicken he’s ever been in. Finally she sighs, and gets comfortable at the foot of the bed. “Alright, I was just curious. I suppose I was wrong.”

“It’s fine,” Caleb swallows, opening his book again. “I just wanted you to know.”

Nott keeps her back to him, but she whispers. “Do you want there to be something between you and Jester?”

“Nott-“

“I wouldn’t tell anyone, I just...you sounded happy, is all. They seemed like good dreams.”

“I’m fairly certain Jester and Fjord are still dancing around each other.”

“That isn’t what I asked.”

“Nott-“

“It’s alright, Caleb, we don’t have to talk about it.” Nott tells him, curling up. “She told me today she likes to walk on the beach at night. She’s always going off alone, that girl. Goodnight.”

On the desk in their room, Frumpkin mewls, and Caleb looks over. His familiar is giving him the most judgmental look he’s ever seen on a cat’s face before. Caleb mentally tells him to fuck right off.

He’s able to read for the next hour until Nott falls asleep, but he isn’t able to read the page in front of him. Caleb’s been doing very well at keeping that moment in Zadash as the back of his mind, not wanting to dwell on the way Jester melted against him in the Judge’s office, the spattering of freckles on her shoulder, and that whimper she made when he ran his tongue against hers-

Caleb gives up in the book, getting off the bed and heading for the door. He needs some water or something. Anything. It will do him good to chase this memory from his mind.

He ends up in the lounge, in his slow walk of the Chateau.

Caleb isn’t looking for trouble, he’s just trying to clear his mind for a few moments, and the glass of wine the bartender pours helps a little bit. He needs to let go of the stupid memory. It’s not the first time he’s used that ploy, Trent taught them to be soft and charismatic as they needed to, sex is easy to sell, and even he and Astrid-

He groans, running a hand across his face. “Could I bother you for one more?”

“No bother.” The bartender tells him, refilling the glass. He makes sure not to suck this one down, he doesn’t need to be all over the place, he just needs to fucking relax. It helps, a little, and Caleb just focuses on breathing. Today has been a long day, and he’s ready to let it go.

“Caleb?”

He hears Jester’s voice behind him, and he wonders which God it was that he’s upset so badly they would do this to him. Caleb turns to her, and waves. “You’re up late.”

“So are you.” She counters, a grin on her face. “Are you drinking away your woes?”

“It’s been a day.” He sighs. Jester comes and sits next to him, her tail swishing happily.  

“Did Yussah give you a bunch of shit?”

“Yes, he really did.” Caleb tells her, rubbing his temple. “He is not a pleasant man.”

“I’m sorry,” Jester smiles at him, and leans forward conspiratorially. “Do you want to go draw a big ol’ dick on his tower?”

Caleb actually laughs at that, and he shakes his head. “No, that’s alright. Not yet, at least. But I’ll keep that offer for later.”

“Cash it in whenever!” She gives him a wicked grin, and he notices the blanket she has on over the over sized shirt she’s wearing.

“Where are you headed?”

“I wanted to go walk by the ocean! It’s better it I do it at night cuz then I don’t have to bother disguising myself. Plus the shells that come up at night time are the prettiest, and I wanted to grab a few.”

“That sounds nice.” He tells her, finishing his drink. “Don’t let me keep you.”

“Do you want to come? It’s really pretty!”

He knows he really shouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop him from telling her he would. Jester smiles, hopping to her feet. “Great! I have this really pretty spot! I think you’ll like it!!”

Caleb slides off his stool, gesturing towards the door. “Lead the way.”

Jester’s spot is incredibly beautiful.

They do have to hop down a few giant boulders, but it leads to a small alcove, with a tiny beach area. Caleb looks around, amazing by the way the sky meets the sea, and how big the moons look. “How did you find this place?”

Jester lays down her blanket, a sad smile on her face. “Come here, look.” She points back towards where they came, and he can see the lights of the Chateau. “That’s my room, riiiiiiiiiight there. I’ve been watching this place ever since I was little.”

“And now it’s yours.”

She smiles at that, looking back at him. “Yeah, you’re right. It is mine.”

Jester plops down on her blanket, and she looks up at the sky. Caleb follows her gaze up, at the spattering of stars through the sky. “Hey, do you know the stars? Like all their names and stuff?”

“Ja, I do.”

She pats the blanket next to her. “Okay come show me.”

He does, sitting down next to her. Jester tugs in his shirt, and they lie back on her blanket, and he starts pointing to the sky. “This one here, it’s named after a titan that lived centuries ago, the four stars grouped there? That’s his fist.”

“What’s his name?”

“Don’serak.”

“Is his dick in the stars too?”

Caleb rolls his eyes, and Jester giggles, lightly tapping his arm. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Really, I want to hear more. How many stars do you think there are?”

“Immeasurable, it would be like trying to count all of your freckles.”

Jester rolls on her stomach to look at him, grin on her face. “I tried that once! I got pretty far! But I couldn’t count the ones on my back.”

Caleb blinks, thinking about the freckles he had seen on her shoulders, and now she’s let him know there’s more as you go. He feels himself smirk a little, looking back at the sky. “Well, if you ever want to know, I’ll help you.”

He can see the surprised look on her face out of the corner of his eye, then she simply looks delighted that he’s willing to play her game. Jester tugs at the strings of her shirt a little, so it loosens enough that she can show her shoulder blades. “Fine, help me now. When I was little, Mama used to say that I might be a Star Goddess, since the ones on my back looked like the ones in the sky. Since you know all about the stars, you should check.”

She’s still laying on her stomach, but he’s sure she knows his face is bright red. He rolls over into his side, staring at the indigo dots spattered across her skin. Carefully, softly, he traces lines between a few of them with his finger. Her skin is cold, like it usually is, but he feels her shiver a little. “Your mother might have been right, there’s the Dawnfather’s bow.”

“She said that too.” Jester barely whispers, like she’s afraid too much noise might shatter this surreal moment they’ve found themselves in. Caleb keeps tracing, transfixed by the way his black fingertips look against the her skin.  

“I don’t know, that’s the only one I recognize.”

“Clearly,” Jester huffs. “You’re not looking hard enough.”

“You’re right,” He scoffs, tracing a shape between a grouping of six of them. “There’s a manticore.”

“Is it at least a cute one?”

“Of course.” He assures her, tracing the several between her shoulder blades. She swallows when he does, and it makes him smile. “That one looks like the dodecahedron.”

“See,” She turns to look at him, out of the corner of her eye. “I’m more star than I am a person.”

“Absolutely,” he agrees, removing his finger from her back. “It’s uncanny.”

Jester rolls on her side too, so she can face him. Her shirt still shows most of her shoulders, and her collarbones. “Caleb, how come you’re always smiling at me?”

His breath hitches, her eyes on his much harder to face than her skin. “You’re pretty funny.”

“I am.” She agrees, a smirk on her face. “I’m hilarious, actually. And made of stardust. But I don’t think that’s why.”

“You got me,” he scoffs. “It’s your modesty.”

“Oh you know me so well, Caleb. I’m am the most modest person ever, if there was a contest, I would win every single time.” She dramatically sticks her nose in the air and he rolls his eyes. “Is my modesty why you agreed to come down to the beach with me?”

“Oh there’s lots of reasons.” He says before he can really think about it. Jester grins at that, rolling back on her stomach, head in her hands while her feet come up.

“Oh, do tell.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible flirt?”

“Of course, usually 15 minutes into meeting me. But if you wanted to fliiiiiiirrrt with me, we could’ve just stayed inside.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?” He sighs, and she holds up a finger, poking his nose.

“You’re deflecting, Cayyyyyleb. Not this time.”

Caleb bites the inside of his cheek, conflicted in a way he hasn’t been for years. Part of him wants to tell her, wants to say how she’s been in his head ever since they kissed, but even before that. Her joy is infectious and he wants to help her spread it, he wants to see what she’s capable of, out there in the world that truly isn’t ready for her.

But he hesitates, he always hesitates.  Will you tell them all? Yussah had asked him, and here’a a perfect opportunity. He can tell her everything, he can change the tides, he can create a new world in seconds.  He lies to her, always, often, still. She still doesn’t know his full story, and it feels like lying to her, letting her flirt with him, letting her smile at him like that, when he’s such a monster. The more he lets her become close to her, the more he’s going to hurt her if she ever finds out who he really is. But that’s the future, that’s not now, that’s not this second.

Because this second is Jester, staring at him, bathed in starlight, smiling at him. Waiting for him to answer her, because she thinks she knows, but she wants to hear him say it. She deserves to understand why he’s being like this, and if nothing else, she’s owed that much by him.

With shaking fingers, Caleb reaches out and brushes her bangs from her eyes, so he can watch her reaction clearly. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you lately.”

She blinks, slowly. “Really?”

“Really.” He sighs, giving her a small smile. “Have been for a while, haven’t stopped thinking about you since Zadash.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you? I’m as nervous as you are.”

“I’m not—“ She stops, exhaling, her shoulders dropping tension as she does. “I am. So nervous.”

“Me too.” Caleb assures her. “It’s okay.”

“Good. Cuz...I’m going to kiss you again, okay? And this isn’t because some guards are about to catch us probably committing treason.”

He swallows, but he nods, and Jester leans in, pressing her lips to his. It’s softer than before, when they were furiously trying to pretend they were spoiled aristocrats just sneaking away, this is better. This is better, because Jester looks like Jester. This is better because when she pulls away, and he reaches for her again, she lets him do it. This is better, because they both know they’re doing this because they want to be.  

Jester lets him push her back on her side, and his arms wrap around her. Caleb hasn’t felt anything near this in years, and he’s forgotten how addicting something like this can be, something like Jester is. His fingers find their way into her hair, and they pull apart for air. Her eyes are half open, looking at him. She smiles, poking his nose again. “See, that’s exactly what I thought was the case.”

He scoffs, kissing her again. “I know you did. You’re wise.”

“Wiser than you.” She agrees. “Wise enough to know that you’re really gonna want to talk about this, and it’s probably not going to happen tonight, since it’s getting pretty late”

“Two minutes to 1:30.” He says, and she rolls her eyes.

“Okay so, with your clock brain, keep track of the time, cuz you’re going to keep kissing me for like, five more minutes, then you’re going to walk me home.”

“Deal.” He grins, pulling her towards him again.

When he walks back into his room, he isn’t expecting two pairs of eyes to be watching him.

Nott is sitting up on the bed, Frumpkin in her lap. They’re both staring at him, and Caleb knows that his face is scarlet, and he stares back, waiting for someone to move. Eventually, Nott scratches Frumpkin’s ears, and she lays back down on the bed.

“You alright.”

“Uh huh.”

“Did you get her back okay?”

“I didn’t-“

“Goodnight Caleb.”

Caleb crawls into bed, his face shoved into the pillow so Nott can’t see the stupid smile on his face.

[rosemakh]

Talking Topics with Taika - Episode 1: DWD

[spoof interview show with call-in listeners and guests]

[Author's Note: This was originally written in 2014 as a script for an audio series. I wrote two episodes but was unable to continue the project. This is the re-written version, with visual descriptions added as needed. It reads sort of like a script. Just imagine this as a televised talk show with guests seated on a stage, in front of a studio audience.]

Taika: Welcome, viewers. You may have heard of DUI and DWI, but there is a new and equally disturbing kind of distracted driving that is killing hundreds in our nation every year. This deadly habit has been dubbed DWD - Driving While Dining. Tonight, we will speak with people who have committed DWD. These brave souls are here to share their tragic stories and relive the pain of those events in the hopes that others will not make the same mistakes they did. Please welcome to the show: Candy Chianti from Oatmeal, Texas; Toffee Bellini from Cookietown, Oklahoma; and Frank Furter from Sandwich, Massachusetts. Welcome, each of you.

Candy: Thankies, Taika! It's awesome to be here!

Toffee: Thank you so much Taika. This is wonderful!

Frank: Thanks, Taika!

Taika: Driving While Dining seems to have become quite popular recently, in spite of the fact that it is difficult to drive properly while eating a meal. Miss Candy, you actually got into a car accident while committing DWD, correct?

Candy: I did!

Taika: I'm sure it must be a very painful memory for you--

Candy: Yah~~

Taika: --but would you share your story with us, so we may all learn from your experience?

Candy: Okay! So, I went to Burly Burger and ordered a order of Chocolatey Beef Bites with a extra icing cup and a malted beef broth milkshake with strawberry topping. And I, like, usually don't eat when I drive, but the Beef Bites smelled so good and my stomach started, like, totally eating itself, so I was driving down Main Street and opened the Bites, but they're not that good without icing, so I put my hand in the bag to get the icings, but they weren't in there!

So, I got really mad and forgot I was driving and I was, like, cussing and stuff 'cause I was hungry and I rear-ended some 86-year-old old guy cuz he was at a red light...

And he would of been okay, 'cept he was eating in his car, and I guess he, like, inhaled 'cause I hit him, and he totally choked to death on one of those nasty hash browns from Patty's Potato Lodge! I mean EW!! Those are gross!!

And, like, I regret that morning every day of my life... because my Beef Bites fell on the floor when I rear-ended that old guy, so I couldn't eat them, and they cost me, like, five dollars!

Taika: So, out of all of that morning's events, you most regret not getting to eat the Beef Bites?

Candy: [Softly crying and sniffling] It's, like, totally sad. I'll never get that five dollars back.

Toffee: [Clears her throat loudly, speaks sadly] I feel for you dear. That's a very distressing story, but I'm afraid mine is far, far worse.

Taika: Ms. Toffee, do you feel comfortable sharing your story with us?

Toffee: [Suddenly very cheerful] Oh, gladly!

Taika: [Surprised at Toffee's change in demeanor]

Toffee: The fateful day was nearly one year ago. I went to my favorite restaurant -- Bread Breakfast Bread -- they only sell breakfast sandwiches there, and they are positively exquisite!

I wanted to try their Sloppy Syrup Sausage Sandwich. It's crumbled breakfast sausage drenched in authentic maple syrup between two slices of freshly baked and toasted cinnamon raisin bread!

Candy: Oh my gaw! That sounds really good!

Frank: Mmm~~~~hm!

Toffee: Doesn't it? And it tastes even better than it sounds! After I picked up one for me and a few for the ladies at the office, I continued my commute. I resisted the urge to eat until I was at a red light - because as everyone here knows, it's very reckless to eat while driving--

Frank: [Nodding] It sure~~ is.

Candy: [Nodding] Yah~~

Taika: [Looks at Candy as if she doesn't believe she just said that]

Toffee: --So, I had the sandwich in my hand, held tightly because it was loaded with syrup and sausage, and there must have been some sort of mime convention in town because -- and I am not lying -- a parade of mimes started walking down the crosswalk in front of my car, but they didn't just walk! They mimed as if they were pulling ropes or rowing boats or being blown across the road by the wind!

Candy: [Laughs]

Frank: Sounds like quite a show!

Toffee: Yes! And I was so mesmerized that I loosened my grip on the sandwich and all of that boiling-hot syrupy sausage fell right into my lap!

Candy: [Gasps] Oh no!

Toffee: I was wearing shorts that day, so I was burned instantly! It was so painful and before I knew it, my car had shot forward and taken out several mimes!

I didn't know people could die so quietly! Those mimes were so dedicated to their art! There wasn't so much as a peep out of any of them!

[Sadly] It was so horrible...so~~ horrible...

[A little angry] ...when the police confiscated my sandwiches!

Frank and Candy: [Gasp in unison]

Candy: Why did they confiscate them?!

Toffee: The officer said they were evidence!

Frank: [Stroking his beard and pondering] How can sandwiches be evidence?

Toffee: [Upset] I don't know!

Candy: [Sighs sadly] You're right, Toffee, that's way worse than my story!

Toffee: [Giggles] I told it so, dear!

Taika: Why are you bragging about it?

Toffee: [Clueless, absent minded, innocent look]

Taika: [Breathes deeply and regains her composure] Did any of the people you hit with your car survive?

Toffee: Oh, I don't know. I was too traumatized to check up on them.

Taika: Wouldn't the people that you ran over be more traumatized than you were?

Frank: [Nods sagely and interrupts] Mmm~~ yes, I can see how that would traumatize anyone! But now it's time for my terrible tale. You three ladies may want to sit down for this!

Taika: Thank you for the warning, Mr. Frank. Please continue.

Frank: Thank you! There was once a legendary sub sandwich: the lobster, abalone, and Italian white sturgeon caviar-filled Limited Edition '14 Karat Super Sub'!

Toffee: [A little glittery-eyed] 14 Karat?

Frank: [Proudly] The sauce had edible gold in it.

Candy: That must'a been, like, totally expensive!

Frank: 100 dollars a sub! And I bought 12 of them, for myself and my co-workers. Gotta keep the co-workers on your side, right? That day, I cruised down the street with the windows down and a big bag of those babies on the front passenger seat of my SUV. I was eating one, too -- a little too quickly -- and I started to choke on it.

I needed to drink something but couldn't put the sub down because it would ruin my new upholstery, so I ducked down for just a second to drink from the straw in my soft drink in the cup holder. When I sat back up, my SUV was heading straight toward a lightpole, so I jerked the wheel to avoid it, but I was carrying a load of bricks on the roof, and the sudden movement caused the vehicle to flip.

Candy: [Gasps]

Toffee: Oh my!

Frank: The bricks broke loose and flew in all directions. The SUV rolled several times and my bag of subs flew out the window!

Candy: [Gasps louder]

Toffee: You're kidding!

Frank: Later, I found out that my SUV had rolled through a puppy adoption fair that some 1st graders were holding on the sidewalk and had crushed uh...[Counts them off on his fingers] three dozen 6- and 7-year-olds, some puppies, a few teachers, and a couple stuffed animals.

Taika: Why mention the stuffed animals?

Frank: But worst of all, that was the last day they were serving those limited edition subs! You can't get them anywhere anymore! And they were so delicious!

Toffee: [Sobs into a hankerchief] That's horrible! Absolutely mortifying!

Candy: [Crying loudly] And those poor subs flew out the window and probably got crushed! Just thinking about all that wasted caviar...!!

Toffee: [More sobbing] ...the lobster!

Frank: [Crying loudly] Fresh...caught...abalone!!

Taika: [Completely dumbfounded at her guests] I apologize for interrupting, Mr. Frank, but did you say that your DWD accident resulted in the deaths of several innocent children, school teachers, and puppies?

Frank: [Sadly] Right. And a couple stuffed animals.

Taika: [Shifts her eyes in annoyance at the mention of the stuffed animals] ...Yes...Well, with that being the case... [Leans in and slightly reprimanding and a little disgusted] Are you honestly mourning the loss of seafood right now?

Candy, Toffee, Frank: [Stare at Taika for a moment, then, in unison start nodding their heads matter-of-factly and talk on top of each other]

Toffee: [Her mascara is running] Yes. It's just such a tragedy.

Candy: [Hand over her mouth, crying]

Frank: Of course! It was 1200 dollars worth, Taika. Seafood doesn't just grow on trees, ya know. [Shakes his head at her as if she's hopeless]

Taika: [Highly annoyed] Well...thank you for enlightening me... and my thanks to each of you for bravely sharing your harrowing experiences with our viewers.

To end today's show, is there anything else you would like to say about Driving While Dining? Perhaps some words of caution?

Miss Candy, do you have anything to share?

Candy: [Suddenly brightens up] Oh, totally! [Turns to the camera and smiles broadly] Okay, listen up. If you're gonna eat when you drive, set your food out on the passenger's seat before you leave the parking lot and always make sure the drive-through person gave you icing cups!

Taika: Okay... Ms. Toffee, do you have a word of caution for our viewers?

Toffee: I have a great one! [Clears her throat and continues sagely] When you really think about it, mimes aren't very interesting, so keep your eyes on your sandwich and your foot on the brake, and you'll avoid any mime-related incidents.

Taika: I don't think mimes were the problem in your case...

Toffee: What do you mean?

Taika: ...nevermind. I'm a little afraid to ask, but Mr. Frank, do you have any words?

Frank: It's okay to be afraid, Taika. This is a terrifying subject!

Frank: But, cheer up, because my words of wisdom are about to blow you away! [Takes a big, dramatic breath] Every vehicle should come with a sub sandwich holder -- standard!

Candy: [Nodding] That's a good idea!

Toffee: I would petition for that!

Frank: And...!

[Candy and Toffee lean in to hear him better]

Frank: If you're carrying a load of bricks on top of your SUV, it's probably a good idea to put them in a bag or something!

Taika: That makes sense, surprisingly.

Candy: [Nods, mesmerized] Ohh~~

Toffee: Very profound!

Frank: And~~~!!

Toffee: [Stares expectantly] There's more?

Frank: [Loudly, looks into the camera] Hey~~ kids! If an SUV comes barrelling towards you, move out of the way, or Santa Claus won't bring you any presents this year!

Taika: [Fuming with anger]

Candy: [Applauding] Oh my gaw! That's so epic!

Toffee: [Applauding] I think my brain is about to explode!!

Taika: [Yells with frustration] Alright!! [Catches herself and mostly recovers but speaks sarcastically] Those are great safety tips!! But unfortunately, that's all the time we have for today!

Candy: But, I didn't get to tell you about the Soggy Cereal incident!

Frank: It couldn't be as devastating as my story, but please tell it.

Toffee: I want to hear it too, dear!

Candy: [Starts telling her story, which is soon drowned out by the ending theme music] Okay, so~ I was riding a scooter thingy and I had a bowl of milk and cereal in my lap, trying to eat it, you know, but this car, like, totally cut in front of me and...

Taika: [Stomps off stage, alone, before the lights fade out]

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 19

[*Back in medieval, in the afternoon*]

Jimmy and Nick were getting ready for their dinner with the king. Jimmy was putting on his cloak and hat, while Nick was slipping into his suit of armor. They even used the "cologne" Benson lend them.

"You don't have to wear the helmet, you know." Said Jimmy. "Eh. I feel more comfortable with my face hidden." Replied Nick.

Sally, sitting on a stack of hay, glowed by Nick's comment. That's exactly what the Silver Knight would say. The knight never shown his face. It could have something to do with his fear of facing reality, or how he's too shy to let anyone see him express facial emotions. Nothing will ever convince her that these two young gents aren't the heroic saviors from the past. Jimmy is wise, calm, and holds the same physical features as the Wise Wizard, described in the diary. Aside from the obvious armor, Nick is sassy yet sweet, just like the Silver Knight. Also to add, he is much taller compared to his partner. The way she has watched them, they seem to prefer standing by each other's side, as well as feeling comfortable together. They also sleep in the same barn. The wizard and knight may have lost their memories, but the way they feel for each other hasn't changed. Two gentlemen unwinding in a hot spring five feet apart cuz they're platonic comrades.

"So, Mr. Jimmy Wizard..." Asked Sally. "That's not my full name, and please don't call me that again." Replied Jimmy. "...I know you're incapable of doing magic, with your memory gone and all, but I'm sure you still possess the brains. How smart are you still?" "'How smart are you still?' That's improper use of grammar. I'm not 'still smart,' I'm 'always smart!' And FYI, I'm more smarter than you can bet on! Ask me anything!" "O-kay? Why is the sky blue?" "Appropriate answer from an eight-year old. Blue light is scattered in all directions by the minuscule molecules of air in Earth's atmosphere! Blue is scattered more than other colors because it peregrinates as shorter, more minute waves! Therefore, we optically discern an azure most of the time!" "Yep! You'd definitely have to be a super smart artist to sum up words I've never even heard of or understand." "Ask me another one if you please!" "How do you plan to turn the king's bargain against him?" "I was expecting either a science or history type question." "Like, are you gonna lure him into a pit of spikes?" "What? No! Where are we gonna find a spiky pit?" "You have a point there, very impractical. Hmmmmmm. Maybe you could poison his drink!" "Even though this is the medieval century, I'm not entirely sure poison is legalized in this town, given all the strict rules." "And all his pretty boys there will be watching us like hawks." Nick added. "Why not just have Diana step on him?"

Jimmy and Nick both looked at her in cringed expressions.

"You know, squash him like a cockroach? SPLAT! She's already big enough!"

The two boys were then relieved, but they still disagreed with her notion.

"How 'bout we lure him into a pit?" Asked Rodent Girl, who's in the barn with them for unknown reason. "We've already discussed this." Exclaimed Jimmy. "Ah, you did, but instead of spikes, which we don't have access to, King Jason falls into some scalding, melted cheese! And I have plenty of gouda, provolone, and mozzarella to spare! That would make his death slowfully painful. Not to mention, delicious! Mwahahahahahahaha."

Silence filled the barn, and everyone looked at Rodent Girl awkwardly, even the animals. Such a weird idea coming from a weird girl. All this silence started to make her nervous. Pretending as though she said nothing, she decided to go about her business, drinking from the cow's udder. Of course, that didn't make things less weird. Benson suddenly pokes his head through the barn door. It's obvious he's been eavesdropping again.

"May I suggest loosening the joints and screws on his throne so that he falls over and breaks his neck? The old fart did mentioned in the editorials that he would rather die there than on a deathbed. Mwahahahahahahaha." "Were you there this whole time?" Asked Nick. "Oh. Heavens no! I was just dropping by to... ...get Miss Oona! She must freshen up before she's ready to meet the king!"

Benson then separated the teen from the cow, and dragged her out of the barn. Jimmy, Nick, and Sally followed.

"Now, young lady, you go ahead inside and brush your teeth this instant! We've got a royal dinner to attend very soon!" Said Benson, handing Rodent Girl a toothbrush. "'Brush my teeth?' What's wrong with the smell of organic milk?" Replied Rodent Girl. "Come here!"

Benson then picked up Rodent Girl, and tried to brush her teeth by force. Jimmy and Nick decided to return the cologne bottle inside. As always, Sally followed behind them. The boys were surprised to see Mitzi, back from work early. She looked very upset, resting both of her elbows on the table. Nick took off his helmet to look less suspicious, despite still standing in full armor. Diana was comforting her. Her pupils shifted to Jimmy and Nick for a short moment, and then back into blank space. She was too pissed to question their silly "dress-up game." Out of curiosity, Jimmy quietly asked Diana what the problem was.

"Mitzi got fired from her job. The blacksmith industry recently hired a new man." Said Diana. "That's right, a man! One not very smart. One who absolutely has no qualified skills. One to only write 'Plz gimme a job :)' on his resume! Bloody King Jason and his bloody male dominated, privilege system!" Mitzi screamed.

She got so mad, she banged on the table, knocking off a bowl of fruit. Mitzi was the only one to have a job, and now she lost it. That was the only job left available in the village. If she had been a man, she would've have kept that job. She has been in blacksmith for 12 years, and now replaced with an inexperienced gentlemen. Diana can steal stuff, but she can't always find what they need, such as condiments, medicine, and toiletries. Also, the animals might die without food. This job was much more important to the Faithful Five than you think. Nick didn't want this to happen to his friends. Nick walked right up to Mitzi, reached into his pocket, then pulled out a bunch of coins. Mitzi was very intrigued. There were even six silver coins and a gold one.

"Take every single penny. And just to be clear; it's not you I'm helping, it's me and Jimmy's friends. So, spend this wisely." Exclaimed Nick. "Where did you get those?" Asked Jimmy. "Snatched them from the green hoods' campsite during our smoke bomb loot." "Why didn't you tell me about this before?" "Hey, I thought these would be worth more in our time than in this time. I was gonna split it with you, btw."

Mitzi looked at the coins in front of her. Demons never gave gifts to fool their victims, they only relied on manipulation. In their cases, children are the easiest to lure in. They never cared for money, and was only interested in robbing the youth from their childhoods. They keep shiny and valuable things to themselves. Demons would never spare change to a poor man. These creatures were merciless and sadistic. None of Jimmy and Nick's friendly gestures ever moved her, but this is one trait Mitzi is new to. Nick just gave away everything he had in his pocket, all to make sure her family stays healthy. A true demon would never make sacrifices. Despite that, she still feels she's not ready to fully trust the boys yet. Her entire life imprisoned, and tormented, by the demons for fourteen years. Mitzi accepted the coins, but didn't give out a "thank you," which is what Nick had expected. She then got up so she could fetch her basket for grocery shopping.

Jimmy climbed up Diana to whisper in her ear, letting her know that it's time to hit the road. Nick put his helmet back on, Diana combed Butterscotch's mane real quick, and Benson helped Rodent Girl rinse. Also, she spitted in his face afterwards. Jimmy, Nick, and Sally rode on Butterscotch, while Rodent Girl hitched a piggyback ride on Diana. Luckily, she was light as grapes to her. After the seven of them journeyed off, Sally had just remember that she forgot to introduce herself to Mitzi. Speaking of Mitzi, when she returned to the living room with her basket, everyone was suddenly gone. Not a single peep of sound heard. Something's not right.

  .............................

[*Meanwhile, in the twenty first century*]

The whole search party was camping outside of the Neutron household, waiting for their Cbae order to arrive. Hugh was role-playing family with his plastic ducks. Libby was listening to her playlist on shuffle. Carl was practicing magic again. Sheen had Goddard project more holograms while speaking into the voice module microphone, just so he could hear his acquaintances/rivals say what he wants to hear. And finally, Judy was showing Mrs. Dean some pictures of Jimmy through the photo album.

"Why is your son wearing a dress in this-"

Judy slammed the album closed.

"Okay! What say I get us some more snacks? Just notify me when the delivery truck arrives!" Said Judy. "No need for that, Mrs. Neutron! I have a box of Bossete's Intergalactic Twinkles™!" Replied Sheen, holding up his Ultralord themed snack. "Sheen, I love you, honey, but the cream filling of those twinkles taste like dish soap." Said Libby. "They do not! Dish soap is more light and tangy. Carl likes them!" "Actually, I only like eating the outside sponge cake. That's the most edible part of the snack." Spoke Carl.

Judy decided to just head inside and fetch those snacks. But before she was about to step inside, she suddenly heard a truck slowly roll in, and then come to a stop. It's here.

"Mrs. Neutron! The delivery truck is here!" Shouted Carl, Sheen, and Libby. "Sugar Booger! The nice, friendly delivery man has arrived!" Also shouted Hugh.

Judy ran up to the truck in excitement. The delivery man steps out of the driving compartment with his notepad.

"Delivery for, username 'bigmommyftw?'" Asked the delivery man. "That's me, young man!" Replied Judy. "Please sign right here, madam."

The delivery man then handed Judy his notepad, where she began to write out her signature. After that, he went into his truck to give her the item she ordered online. The man came out with a big, heavy box. Judy relieved the man of his pain by taking the box from him, and to his surprise, she was much stronger than she looked. He headed back into his truck and drove. After he left, Judy immediately cranked the box open with a crowbar. Instead of finding the machine in there, bits and pieces spilled out. They are suppose to build the time machine themselves. Judy searched among the pieces to look for the instructions. She found them, but with rotten luck, they were written in Korean. No matter how hard she looked through the pamphlet, all was in Korean. She tried to look for another instructional pamphlet buried in the machine parts, but the second one was written in Chinese.

"Anybody here speak Korean? Or at least Chinese?" Asked Judy.

Everyone said no, until Sheen had an idea.

"Wait! You don't have to worry, Mrs. Neutron! Luckily, I recently have installed this cultural translator app!"

Sheen grabbed the pamphlet from Judy, and then typed out the instructions onto his phone. Unfortunately, the translation came out wrong. Very wrong.

"'Apply extra lube before inserting the r.b. Johnson deep into the main combustion valve. Rock back and fourth to push in further, until it reaches that spot.' What kind of app did I even download!?"

Sheen uninstalled his app, went straight to the app store, then filed a very negative review, with a one star rating.

"Your app stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinks! 😡😡😡😡😡😡👎👎👎 How do you sleep at night?!!1!!! Don't download, y'all!"

"Hold on, everyone! I once dated a Korean man, who was the owner of this 4 star Korean barbecue! He taught me a few words in his native language, so maybe I can make something out in those instructions!" Said Mrs. Dean.

Sheen handed her the pamphlet. She carefully scanned her eyes through the instructions on each page. Everyone looked at her eagerly.

"Okay, I know that this word means 'please.' This one means 'screw.' And this, I think, is suppose to mean 'nose.'" Mrs. Dean explained. "That's it?" Asked Judy. "Well, I never paid much attention to him. I only dated that man for free meats." "I think I know just the person to help!" Spoke Libby. "Who?" Everyone questioned. "Cindy! She studied about 50 different foreign languages! One of them includes Korean! Hang tight! I'll be right back!"

Libby then ran across the street to the Vortex house. She just hopes she can catch Cindy in her good mood.

................................

An angsty Cindy Vortex was slouching down in her beanbag, surrounding herself with comfort food and a two liter bottle of Purple Flurp. Humphrey was eating out of a bag of Corn Poofs. Cindy drank her tub of melted ice cream through a straw, while watching her new favorite reality TV show: Man Down. It's a show where women and teen girls get to take extreme measurements of revenge on their ex-boyfriends. She switched to this show after watching To Love Or Not To Love, a soap opera which aired an episode about a man promising to a woman that he will work hard to be a better person, and then begged for her forgiveness. Nothing seems to make her happy anymore. She's just too stubborn to swallow her pride.

"CINDY!" Libby burst through her bedroom door. "What?" Asked Cindy. "We need your help! We just ordered this new time machine online, don't question where we got the money, but we can't read the instructions! That's why I came to you!" "Well, it's not my fault Y'ALL forgot to read. (Everyone has gone stupid nowadays. Jimmy is the first)" "Huh- No no no no, we can't read the instructions cuz they're printed in another language! Please help us! Without that time machine, we may never be able to save Jimmy and Nick!" "What, did they get warped into another century by accident, or something?" "Yes! I have the security footage to prove it!" "Leave 'em. They deserve each other anyways." "Girl, could you stop thinking about yourself for once! All you've done is eat and behave sour at any human being in your contact! What did they ever do to you? I've had it with your depression over this breakup thing! This is a friend in danger! Not to mention, Mrs. Dean's only child!" "Excuse me? What did you say to me?" "We have to rescue a friend, plus a woman's only child who happens to be an acquaintance of ours!" "I wasn't asking about that!"

Cindy was so pissed, she crushed her potato crisps into dust. She got up from her beanbag and began to scold Libby, while making her walk backwards toward the door.

"You know, Libby, I thought you were very supportive of me! I thought you were one of the few good people in this world! But now, you reek of fink stink! You turned into them! For your information, I'm over the breakup! Neutron isn't my problem anymore, nor is he something to be dealt with! If I wanna sit on my butt all day eating comfort food, I can, cuz it's called self-respect! And I'm not sour! I was being confident! There's a difference!" "Cindy, I think you need hel-" "WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO TELL ME THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?! If you care so much about finding Neutron, why don't you make him your new best friend?!"

As Libby was now outside of the room, Cindy slammed the door. She went back to her beanbag and slouched down in it. She just booted her best friend out. Her other half. Her trustful conscience. All because she refuses to listen to voice of reason. It's her inferiority complex that's keeping her from admitting to her flaws. She is always fighting to be that perfect woman, but always feels she's not good enough in the end. She's mad at Jimmy for ruining, what she thought they had, a beautiful relationship. And she's also mad at him for thinking he's smarter than her. She loves him, but at the same time she hates him. They seemed to have gotten along very decently when they were friends, but Cindy feels romance always comes first before friendship. And she can't help it that she has developed feelings for Jimmy. No matter how toxic they were together, Cindy just can't seem to let go. But the more she keeps holding on, the more pain it brings her. Sometimes it's very important to move on.

Cindy began to look at a couple of camera photos on her phone. They were of her, and her best friend Libby. She had been her best friend ever since first grade. Libby was the one who invited her for coloring when her friendship with Betty Quinlan died down. (Will be explained some time later in the future) While Cindy was obsessed with working hard and being the best, Libby showed her how to have fun like a normal girl for a change, yet she never tried to get in the way of her goals. Libby was a respectful friend, and a supportive one too. She was one of a kind. Now, after Cindy brushed her off like that, she may never speak to her again. Cindy was now alone. Worse, she's still too stubborn to fix this problem herself. She didn't even wanna make a simple call or text on her phone.

.................................

While walking across the street, Libby kept looking over her shoulder, in hopes to see if Cindy would walk out that front door and apologize. The poor girl is worse than she was before. She thinks the whole world has turned against her when it's really trying to help her. But nobody can help her now. She probably wouldn't even listen to her parents. This behavior was starting to frighten Libby, which means she should stay away from her for awhile. Cindy is on her own now. But how long will it be before she actually recovers? When Libby made it to the other side of the street, she broke the bad news to her squad.

"Sorry gang. Cindy can't help us. ...for personal reasons." Said Libby. "That's okay, deary! We'll just make-do with this!" Replied Judy.

Judy handed Libby the instruction pamphlet. Confused, Libby looked through it, and every word appeared to be in English.

"You found an English copy?" Asked Libby. "No. Goddard just ate the Korean pamphlet, and then printed a translated alternative! *Whispers* Please don't ask how." Replied Judy. "And he liked it, too!" Shouted Carl, who then fed Goddard the Chinese instructions. "Well, what are we waiting for, squad? We've got a time machine to build, and there's no time for breaks!"

Libby should be happy at this moment, but it's hard to with Cindy on her mind. It would've been a true team experience to have everyone working together.

...............................

[*Elsewhere, in another time*]

The whole crew continued traveling down that path, catching awkward stares from random civilians they pass. Benson was clutching his purse tightly, sweating like a hog. He hasn't gone out in so long, he forgot how much he feared eye contact from strangers. Diana just casually smiled and waved, as if she were on a parade float. Rodent Girl had fallen asleep, which gave everyone the conclusion that Diana was carrying some human corpse. Jimmy and Nick seemed to be doing fine, as wellerr as Sally. Jimmy didn't look like he mind Nick holding onto his shoulders tightly. Sally watched from the back.

"Are you nervous?" Asked Nick. "A bit. Are you?" Jimmy asked back. "I know you can't tell by now from my helmet, but, yeah. A hella nervous." "Care to share that issue with me? After all, it is a genius's job to answer a lot of questions." "This other half of Jason's bargain, I'm a little anxious to know just what he wants from us. For all we know, he could be looking for blood, or a new heir. What if it's something that's impossible to find?" "Calm down, Nick. Please?" "*Sighs deeply* Alright, I'll cool it. ...for now. Though I'm pretty sure we don't have a plan." "C'mon, we have made it this far. Like, for example, you managed to pull the wool over the mine keeper's eyes, and then come home with some fresh, raw quartz. Bet that was really scary, huh?" "Very. And exhausting, too." "It's okay. Whatever task the king has in store for us, it probably won't be any more difficult now that you have me. And Diana. Perhaps Rodent Girl could make use to us, somehow."

Nick was highly flattered after Jimmy had mentioned "you have me." That was all the motivation he needed to calm down completely. Once again, Nick was blushing under his helmet. Sally grinned at the two. Their order of communication definitely sounds like the Wise Wizard and Silver Knight, from what she read in her dad's diary. After a long walk, they made it to the castle. The drawbridge was already opened, and King Jason was waiting for them right there, with some knights in his presence.

"Ah! I thought you'd never make it! Welcome, guests, to my humble abode!" Greeted Jason. "Even though some of us have already been here yesterday." Joked Nick. "*Snickers* I especially welcome you again, O Wise Wizard and Silver Knight!"

Diana, Jimmy, Nick, Benson, and even Butterscotch, were very awestruck by Jason's comment. Rodent Girl even woke up to say "What?!" Now the king? Jimmy and Nick turned their heads to Sally, who was giving them a smug expression. That annoyed them deeply.

"Uhhhhhhhhh, I'm afraid-" Benson was about to give his say, but then Jimmy cut him off. "H-he's afraid to setteth foot in thy stronghold, your greatness! He's an extremely shy type!" Jimmy explained. "Oh, your friend hast nothing to worry about. You can count on my guards to protect HER."

King Jason was really more horrible than Benson expected. Despite the obvious goatee beard showing, he called him a "her" just because he's wearing a frilly apron, holding a purse, and mentioned to have real humanly emotions. If it weren't for all those guards right there, and the fact that he is the king, Benson would give him "a man" by blowing five fingers to his face. Speaking of which, he wonders why Jimmy had cut him off. After Nick helped Jimmy off of Butterscotch, Benson grabbed him for a short, private, and quiet, conversation.

"What was the meaning of cutting me off like that?" Asked Benson. "Because, have a moment to think. If he knew we were just some commoner children instead of a couple of noble legends from the past, he's gonna give us all a field trip to the gallows." Replied Jimmy.

Benson thought, maybe Jimmy has a point there. That could clarify on why King Jason showed them mercy, even if they did break an entry and posed as an authority. To him, the Wise Wizard and Silver Knight are a gold mine. Everyone walked forward into the castle.

"Wait, you're bringing the horse inside?! *Points to Butterscotch*" Jason questioned. "Butterscotch is family! Wherever we go, he comes with us! Talk to the man, Jimmy!" Exclaimed Diana. "Well, he is an important part of the group." Said Jimmy, while shrugging. "Fffffff-fine. But I hold your friend in charge of cleaning up after it!" Scoffed Jason. "Houyhnhnm! (I'm house trained, you biased pompous!)" Whinnied an embarrassed Butterscotch.

While the king was guiding them to the dining room, they met a strange man in the halls, who was the new cook, chasing a white rabbit and bearing a cleaver in hand.

"Stuart! What is this mindless folly?!" Screamed the king "An ingredient is trying to get away!"

[jessicakehoe]

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? Fake news about a fashion designer, an Instagram live rant from a musician and a Canadian comedy series announcing its final season. Here’s everything you need to know:

Tom Ford Calls Melania Trump a “Glorified Escort”

THE STORY: Tom Ford was trending earlier this week after allegedly refusing to dress First Lady Melania Trump. On Tuesday, a Twitter user shared a quote that he attributed to the American fashion designer: “I have no interest in dressing a glorified escort who steals speeches and has bad taste in men.”

THE REACTION:

Well said Jennifer. Our @FLOTUS has never ever needed anyone to dress her. She is 👸🏻#Regal and has greater taste than to wear @TOMFORD I do not like anything from #TomFord and I just #ThrewAway all from his makeup line😷because it turns #rancid after one month after opening

— BLANCA COYNE (@PALOMINOFASHION) March 19, 2019

BEING MEAN SPIRITED IS NOT A GOOD LOOK. I AM RETURNING MY TOM FORD PRODUCTS. THANKS. BYE FELICIA.

— DrZoeGrey (@drzoegrey) March 19, 2019

TOM FORD@TOMFORD You are hateful person picking on @realDonaldTrump is fine he can beat you with tweets but beating on @FLOTUS a lady who is 100% smarter an better then you means America will boycott you out of business

— AppSame (@AppSame) March 19, 2019

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Check your sources, Twitter. A spokesperson for Ford has denied that the designer ever said the quote. “This is an absolutely fabricated and completely fake quote attributed to Mr. Ford that has somehow gone viral,” the representative said. “Mr. Ford did not make this statement; it is completely false.”

Ford, however, has spoken about dressing Melania Trump in the past — and made headlines for it. “She’s not necessarily my image,” he said during a 2016 episode of The View, commenting on the reason why he refused to dress Melania prior to her becoming First Lady. “Even had Hillary won, she shouldn’t be wearing my clothes. I think that whoever is the President, or the First Lady, should be wearing clothes at a price point that are accessible to most Americans, and wearing clothes made in America. My clothes are made in Italy, they’re very expensive.” I understand his sentiment, I just hope Melania stops shopping at Zara.

  Daniel Caesar Defends YesJulz

THE STORY: Daniel Caesar, a 23-year-old Canadian R&B artist, is facing criticism from fans after he defended YesJulz, an influencer who has been accused of cultural appropriation.“Why are we being so mean to Julz?” he said Caesar said in an Instagram live video. “Why are we being so mean to white people right now? That’s a serious question.”

(If you need catching up on why the Internet is mad at YesJulz, read this.)

THE REACTION:

Artists these days are making it so hard to just like their music. The closeted ignorance, and unsubstantiated, stupid opinions make their music sound ugly. How are we supposed listen to Daniel Caesar now? Yuck!

— Angel Elliott (@AngelElliott) March 20, 2019

@DanielCaesar Nah but a dialogue has to be had, G. It’s less about Black people “being mean,” but way more about folks protecting their creative space from someone who’s shown disrespect to Black people, and recently Black women, over and over again.

— SonOfAGun 🔊 (@CoryTownes) March 20, 2019

Daniel Caesar,

I think the years of white people lashing, raping, beating, lynching, siccing dogs, implementing racist policies on black people all overshadow the fact that we say Becky can’t dance.

Your services will no longer be needed.

Thanks,

Black people.

— Erykah Badu’s phone (@saylesstropez) March 20, 2019

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Cancel culture is a dangerous beast. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is use these situations to start a conversation. Just days after posting to Instagram live, “Pod Save The People” host Deray spoke to Caesar about his controversial comments. “I spoke w/ Daniel Caesar yesterday morning for a few hours as I was troubled by many of his statements from the IG video,” Deray wrote to Twitter, “In the end, it is clear that he’s learning & growing re: understanding *systemic* racism & has more work to do. & he has begun to do that work.”

That doesn’t mean we should expect a notes app apology from the Grammy-winning artist anytime soon: “I’m coming to understand this is a losing battle not worth fighting, also I can’t be 100% sure but I feel like 60% of you are bots cuz I be seeing some of the dumbest s*** said on here,” he wrote in a since-deleted tweet. “So I’m gunna shut up from on but I DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Cuz you guys didn’t convince me. Screenshot these tweets cuz my publicist is gunna make me delete soon and she’s a strong black woman so I’m gunna listen to her tbh.”

Schitt’s Creek Announces Final Season

THE STORY: Schitt’s Creek creators Dan and Eugene Levy have announced that the hit Canadian comedy’s upcoming sixth season, set to air in January 2020, will be its last.

THE REACTION:

😭 pic.twitter.com/q8LxmE2bkt

— Dr. FoxyFox (@VixenVulpes86) March 21, 2019

Schitt’s Creek is ending next year and I am not ok

— Drew Penkala (@DrewPenkala) March 21, 2019

schitt’s creek is the cornerstone of canadian television they can’t do this

— kat (@claire_foy) March 21, 2019

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Guys, this is a good thing. More television series should know when it’s time to say goodbye. (We’re looking at you, Grey’s Anatomy.)

The post Everything That Upset the Internet This Week appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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