#so im not so violently flailing at others from a place of unfulfillment
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#i um#i think i need to be a less selfish person#just on a very basic level irt how i view and treat other people in general#not only i think i need to but like#i want to#ironically i think that means i need to take better care of myself and let myself be taken care of better#so im not so violently flailing at others from a place of unfulfillment#the whole ''you have to love yourself first'' angle has always been horeshit but here it seems to have a kernel of truth#sharing this here feels.... vain#but just#i want anyone who ive failed and who may be around for something better to see my process#even when it feels dirty#even when i feel dirty#i feel.... so stuck#idk maybe i need to radically take a step backwards first#or maybe its just the wee hours and i need to sleep#i don't know#im not happy with this im not happy with where i am#i wanna cry#im sorry
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