#so if anyone has advice on Not Doing That i'd appreciate it

[jordiebun]

Hey friends! I’m doing an interest check on these Ultrakill V1 & Gabriel Cat-Ear Buttons I have designed !! If these are designs you’d be interested in, I’d appreciate you filling out my interest check form so I can see if & how many I should make! The link will be below :] 🩷Thank you!! 🙏

[anarchopuppy]

I need at least another $25 to pay my phone bill in a couple days (and that'd leave me no money left for food, let alone rent next month). I'm still unemployed and paralyzed by one of the worst mental health spirals of my life. Anything helps, if you can spare it

This is my ko-fi. Venmo and paypal available by private request. Love y'all

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Idk if anyone cares about my ongoing trobed secret dating fic, but part of me is thinking of removing the fic entirely and doing a rewrite and then reposting it? I'm not 100% sure if I will do that, but I think there's some parts I wanna improve and plan a little better. Like I do have a plan for the whole fic as is, but I feel like it's not good enough to me with how it is. I'd really like to make it better overall.

I'd prefer to rewrite it instead of continuing it as is. Main plot would still be the same, but better written and some stuff different. I've heard it's best to not delete fics, so I'm unsure on what to do best. Whether I should leave it up and then post a rewrite when it's done? Or delete it and post a rewrite later? Because I don't really wanna leave an unfinished version and the changes I'd like to make would be quite different from what I currently have, so idk if I should just replace the whole thing then?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi, I hope this is an okay question to ask. I am s l o w l y exploring and learning what kinds of kinks I like. I’m drawn to taboo kinks and I’m really curious about ageplay, but I’m worried that if I open the door to letting that be hot, I’m going to start seeing actual kids as hot. Obviously that doesn’t mean I would do anything about it, but I’m still not sure I want that in my head. Is there any truth in this fear? Could that happen?

well much in the same way that the majority of pup players aren't trying to hump real labradors on the street, D&D players generally aren't running around pulling swords on random shopkeepers, and my years doing Warriors Cats rp online never made me want to live in the woods pissing in the dirt and eating mice, I suspect that what you're attracted to is the safety of fantasy and play rather than the actual, literal thing. pretty big line between those two things, actually, and most people are pretty clear on the difference between stuff that's made up and harmless and stuff that's really really bad. I use this example often, but I assure you that my abiding love of Batman using his billions of dollars to dick around doing lawless bullshit has not softened my feelings on Elon Musk in the slightest.

I assume that, like most well-adjusted adults, you aren't attracted to children. what you're into is, presumably, adults acting in ways that are characterized as immature, carefree, cutesy, helpless, bratty, etc, and the dynamic of those playacting adults might have with others who take the role of their caregivers. that is... so, so, so far removed from being attracted to an actual human child. I don't know if you've ever actually, like, hung out with kids, but they're pretty different than adults. I mean obviously they're little humans who have their own opinions and ideas and personalities and have a right to autonomy and making their own decisions as much as is safely possible, but they are REALLY different from age appropriate, sexually compatible adults. someone doing ageplay is, like, a million miles from an actual kid.

it's kind of like how when Riverdale was on I'd see gifs of that insane redheaded lesbian and go "yeah, she's hot." like, sure, the character's a teenager, but that actress is an adult woman who's only two years younger than me and we all know that. the idea of fucking an actual teenager is vile. even if I were to see someone and have an initial aesthetic appreciation, the second they open their mouth and start saying 17 year old things the attraction is gone because I've realized that's a child.

(no offense to the teens in the room! you're great and I'm sure your 17 year old stuff is really important to you! but adults should not want to fuck you, is the point.)

so what I'm saying is: seems unlikely!

also, okay. let's assume the absolute worst case scenario happens and you experience a twinge of sexual interest towards a child. that's understandably alarming; that's not an urge most people want to harbor within themselves. that may require some dialing back from ageplay, or a chat with a kink-friendly mental health professional, or seeking out some community and advice from others in your kink scene who may have struggled with something similar. but please, give yourself some credit: you have some shred of impulse control within your body, yes? you're not going to make the leap from having a thought to being an active child predator in one fell swoop. the choice to harm a child, or to seek out pornographic material of child sexual abuse, are still choices that you would have to actually make. and it's making those choices to do harm that actually make child abusers a danger, not just having thoughts. having a thought all by itself doesn't hurt anyone; it's the way you act on it that has the potential to cause harm.

but again, I want to emphasize, sexual behavior is by and large a pretty easy wire not to get crossed with other things. please note the brave billions of people who manage to get through every day without groping their colleagues and random strangers because they understand it's not the appropriate time, place, or partner!

[rosavulpes]

OOC : Need to vent a bit . Still nothing with this , I got Honkai Star Rail working after I managed to " link " it to my account but I'm still nowhere with ZZZ .

Still awaiting further responses from ZZZ's tech support but yeah . I can still play on my phone but not being able to see the cutscenes on my monitor , and having to do everything on my phone is just no for me . Like leveling up agents ? Sure . Grinding ? Sure . But no , I don't want the main story quest to play out on my phone. It's just not feasible for me.

Hopin' that devs can respond to me ticket soon and fix whatever it was that happened so I can start enjoyin' the game again otherwise and I don't think I'll play this anymore. It stinks, it really does stink because this game is awesome.

OOC : Has anyone else been having problems with Zenless Zone Zero and Star Rail on PC ? Mobile works fine, but now I can't unzip the files for either of the games on PC, on top of the download speed for each being ridiculously slow. I'm effectively locked out of playing both games.

[neerons]

Some of Licht Klein's best quotes

"I suppose being ridiculously earnest could be considered a virtue, but... you should give up on me already. I'm not going to change how I feel—or how I act—no matter what you say."

"I get it... you're radiant."

"Your ears are bright red. (...) I did it on purpose. In case it annoyed you." (—Licht trying to make Emma give up on him by annoying her)

"...Thanks for the sweets. (...) Especially these. They were good." (—Licht appreciating Emma's darioles)

"If you get lost in the crowd, who do you think has to find you?"

"...You're imagining things. (...) I'm the same as I always am." (—Licht being bashful after talking passionately about the theatre troupe)

"My body is covered in scars. You're not used to that sort of thing. I figured it'd bother you. I appreciate the thought, though."

"We're twins, Nokto and I. One of us brings good fortune, and one brings bad. (...) No matter where I go, I cause sorrow to everyone around me. It's clear which sort of fortune I bring. (...) If all I do is cause everyone sorrow... there's no point to me even being alive..."

"I'm begging you... stay away from me."

"This is for you. (...) Your hair clip broke when that cart almost ran you over, didn't it? (...) Anyway... that's why I went into town first thing, before my day started." (—Licht gifting a hair clip to Emma)

"You're going back to the palace, right? I'll walk you partway there."

"...So in other words, you want me to go to this social function with you. (...) I think... ...No."

"Give me back the woman I love." (—Licht to the obsidianite carriage driver who tried to harm Emma)

"After Mama died, Nokto spent less and less time at the palace, and... I discovered what loneliness felt like. We'd spent our lives together, every waking moment, and... it was hard to be without him. It hurt, every single day."

"Just by living, I bring sorrow to everyone around me, and even if I die, I'll still bring sorrow to everyone around me. I don't know what's best, or what's right... I don't know how to atone... I don't know anything..."

"Maybe... I've just been using that old saying... as an excuse to avoid everything. I killed my mother... I ruined Nokto's life... I put you in danger... I don't really believe that I can... make anyone happy."

"I feel kind of pathetic. (...) It's like I'm only ever showing you the worst sides of me."

"When I'm with you... it almost feels like I'm starting to find all the emotions I lost when I was a boy. Pleasure, delight, happiness... A sinner doesn't deserve to feel those things. So I gave them all up. But you always affect me. You mess with my heart. That's why I hate you."

"I wanna hug... Please?"

"Rather than losing myself and aggravating your injury, I'm going to please you even more than usual. I can satisfy you just like this. ...Or do you dislike this kind of service, my lady?"

"You should get some rest. I'll see you back to the palace. There's nothing you can do for him by being here. ...If you're that worried, I'll keep an eye on him." (—Licht reassuring Emma in Rio's route)

"You're so lovely, and so kind, and so warm, and so kind, and so lovely... Hang on..."

"And the seventh is a good-for-nothing womanizer." (—Licht describing Nokto)

"I just remembered how I used to fall asleep when you were explaining military jargon to me. (...) And you never woke me up. You're weirdly nice sometimes." (—Licht to Chevalier)

"I want to become like you. You can dazzle anybody with your strength, and you can see the path to victory in any situation. That's what I need to be, too. I'd never say that to his face, though. That's so embarrassing." (—Licht thinking about Chevalier)

"I punched a whole bunch of Tanzanitian princes. (...) I solved things with my fists." (—Licht talking about his own diplomacy tactics to Nokto)

"Nokto is the only person I can tell something like this to." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I can't believe I'm taking Nokto's advice. Something's got to be wrong with me. But I don't think he was wrong. If I can get her body to be addicted to mine, then her heart won't leave, either." (—Licht's thoughts about Emma)

"I want you to be so obsessed with me that you can't bear to be apart from me ever again." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I want you to adore me so much that you can't think straight." (—Licht's thoughts)

"Keep paying attention to me. Keep adoring me. Keep loving me." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I just don't believe in God's good faith. Besides, my only god is Emma. I believe in her over any Tanzanitian God, even the God incarnate. (...) You don't want to pay the price for manipulating my God, either." (—Licht to Azel)

"You're more normal than people think." (—Licht to Clavis)

"Keep paying attention to me. Keep adoring me. Keep loving me." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I can't help it. I just want to kiss you every time I see you."

"You were super cute."

"Duh." (—Licht's reaction to the soldiers talking about him and Emma being so in love)

"No. No carrots." (—Licht reacting to Yves saying every steak pie needs carrots and peas)

"My goal is to get better at cooking. I want to at least be able to crack an egg without dirtying the wall."

"Ngh... Stop laughing, you... demon." (—Licht to Chevalier mocking him)

"I... I hate women like you."

"I adore you... So much that words aren't enough. Please stay with me forever more."

"I want Emma to see me as a romantic interest. Not as a friend. How do I do that? (...) ...I don't know why I bothered asking you." (—Licht to Nokto)

"When I think about how you never give up, even when things go wrong, and how you're always so optimistic about the future— I'm finally realizing... I've just been running away, all this time. (...) There's nothing more pathetic than the idea of me giving up and running away while everyone else is still fighting."

"Would it be okay if I... visited you sometimes? ...No, it's cruel of me to even ask, isn't it?" (—Licht to Emma once her stay at the palace comes to an end)

"...He was right. They're really nonsensical. But there's one thing that's clear to me from reading them. ...She really did love us." (—Licht talking about his mother's letters)

"I don't know how to find happiness without you."

"...I've never seen one before. (...) To me, you were like that rainbow, even at the start. Always too beautiful, and too bright. (...) Now... this particular light is something I treasure." (—Licht seeing his first rainbow with Emma)

"Don't use Nokto as bait." (—Licht to Chevalier)

"You're so cute it's criminal."

"Feels weird to be called 'cute'. I'm an adult. And engaged."

"I kept trying to figure out how I could have you all to myself, without them interrupting us. And eventually I had an idea. (...) I realized I just had to build a place that's just for us."

"But so long as I have you, nothing's ever rough."

"That night, I had a dream. The start was the same as the dream I knew so well. A figure lay in the middle of that vivid crimson spectacle, and it should have been my mother. I felt suddenly cold and empty. All my calm vanished, and I ran to her side, but the woman lying in the pool of blood had turned into the woman I loved most. The sound that escaped my lips in that moment was strong enough to tear the whole world apart." (—Licht's thoughts)

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ship headcanons except i forgot to think of a theme so they're all unrelated

daisuga: absolutely they casually kissed sometime before confessing to each other. Either as a joke/gag between friends, a dare, or maybe for some kind of student film/stage production, their first (romantic) kiss is definitely not their first kiss. Its probably not even their second. I'd hesitate to say third.

iwaoi: Iwa uses Oikawa being "needy" as an excuse to hide his introvertism. Makki and Mattsun are trying to drag him over to play video games for the 3rd time that week so Iwa's just "ahh, can't, Oikawa's already mad I ditched him the last few nights. You know what he's like, he gets so whiny if I don't give him attention," and meanwhile Oikawa is waiting for him by the gate like "alright I'll walk you home so the lie holds up, but you're giving our friends a bad impression of me and I don't appreciate that."

tsukkiyama: yamaguchi decided he was going to marry tsukki very young and tsukki did not get a say in this. like I'm thinking 11 years old and yamaguchi is daydreaming like "yeah. im gonna make him my husband." concidentally this is also why he doesnt get jealous of girls confessing to tsukki because he has this incredible internal conviction that they'll be married one day. basically he spends the next decade of his life wooing him over and playing the longest game ever and it works. tsukki never realizes exactly how young he was put into yamaguchi's trap.

ushiten: tendou was absolutely downright plagued by sex dreams starring Ushijima in their second year and into their third year and this was incredibly alarming for him because he had never even had a crush on anyone before, nor a dream like that previously, and he hadn't even consciously realized he had any attraction towards him beforehand. well thats one way to figure out you have a crush. and that you're gay.

kagehina: wrong culture but I think these two would fucking nail the promposal thing in theory, but they'd be competing with each other to see who could prompose first and theyd be so caught up in avoiding the other person's so that they could be the one to do it that they'd never actually ask each other to prom and then theyd have to go together but technically alone because they never asked. like theyve been dating for 2 years they both knew theyd say yes, they simply did not let the other ask because they wanted to do it.

matsuhana: they would both deny it with their whole chest, but they actually look up to Oikawa and Iwa as a couple, and will often default to asking them for advice. Even when its really complicated stuff, they trust their judgement. Mattsun and Makki met in high school, so they've always been really jealous of the long, childhood best friend thing and want to be able to know each other that well.

[thumblrdotcom]

I very much don't like doing this, but I need help

So, I'm very much in the negatives of the negatives money wise, so much so that the bank won't even let me get more in debt even if I tried to. I owe around 100USD in present and future overdraft fees to the bank (if you're not brasilian, that's like 1/3 of the monthly minimum wage) and that's how much help I need, and if I don’t get this solved now, it sill snowball and screw me over more every month, basically.

And I need help getting out of that, but since I hate hate hate asking for help without giving anything back, I won't post a paypal link or something like that. What I can ask is that if you want to help me monetarily, check out my itch page at danolibel.itch.io and maybe buy one of my games? I'd love for you to do so. If you want to help me and can't monetarily, maybe reblog this? And send my page to your friends, that would be really helpful. Please help a trans girl get out of her debt hole 🙏🏻

(Also, like, minor thing but, if anyone has advice on how to make an itch page look better, I'd appreciate it LOL)

[44-lost-at-sea-ucjau-44]

Hey, for all you Chonny MaJash fans that headcanon Heart as photophobic, I thought I'd make this post as someone with chronic photophobia that's like actually bad enough that it's considered a disability on like. Advice on how to write/portray photophobia and whatnot

I'd appreciate it if you reblogged this 🙏 it's a pretty easy disability to get right and most of you definitely do but… not all of you

If you can just reblogging this for any character with photophobia is good! 👍 that can be useful for peoples as there's like a stunning lack of information on this out there

First off, disclaimer:

There is literally NOTHING wrong with making like, supernatural or animalistic photophobia. Can't do light cos you're a shadow creature? Cool. Can't look at like bc you're an olm with sensitive eyes-under-skin? Awesome.

Photophobia is much more commonly a symptom than a full-on condition but like… as a photophobic person I remember discovering the name of the thingy from clucking Plague Inc. Necroa Virus from some miracle and having to wear sunglasses for my eyes

And then I got my hands on a pair and was saying how happy I was and then this CUCK named Ryan Mackin (dumb name btw) in sixth grade told me "or you just wanna look cool" bc people don't commonly associate sunglasses with conditions and I felt stupid and didn't wear them until eleventh grade

I'm an adult now and sunglasses REALLY do help 👍 I gots all kinds of cool pairs and I look snazzy wherever I go but I HAVE dealt with ableism you wouldn't realise people have over just light-sensitivity. And like, my mother (whom I most likely got it from) has it too but actually didn't believe me for the longest time bc of her own internalised ableism and I even remember finding a kid on Discord who had it too and had ZERO idea that it was an actual condition bc there's legit NO representation out there nor is it ever commonly-talked about

So just. If you can, which you don't have to obv I literally do not and will not judge at all as a photophobic person, portraying realistic photophobia can teach someone out there like little sixth-grade AXYER with vampire eyes (as I like to call them) that it's a thing and they can get treatment for it

TREATMENT: As previously mentioned, sunglasses are your best bet if you cannot see an eye doctor. Even just local Walmart glasses section sunglasses can go a long way, it's really not that hard to treat photophobia (which is, again, why it's so surprising that people can be so ableist). A lot of people make Heart use a blindfold for the photophobia alone which is a bit overkill considering even in really severe cases of photophobia you don't normally need to be FULL-ON blindfolded to treat it. Normally, just a pair of good shades can do the trick and staying in dark/dim rooms.

From my experience, the longer you're in a bright room the more your eyes will begin to get this "stale" feeling and they'll start to sting and eventually feel like they're burning slightly, especially when you close your eyes. Ya gonna wanna be in dark/dim rooms for as much as possible, they can even cause headaches if you're around brightness too long

Yes this includes phone screens. Yes this includes laptop screens. Anyone who can consistently have their screens on high or sometimes even medium brightness probably does not have chronic photophobia

Prescription sunglasses are a thing and are generally what an eye doctor will give ya. Generally you'll get glasses that can transition from shaded to normal and generally you'll have to pay a pretty penny for it. A lotta photophobic folks actually won't even get them and will just stick with normal sunglasses, simply cos it's cheaper and not much less effective

If you want a photophobia-accurate Heart, give that girly some shades (or a visor! They make visor-sunglasses, it's what I use for Heart cosplay)

ABLEISM: That's right, ableism section in big bold letter, we get a LOT of it in small ways. Def not nearly as bad as say, wheelchair-users or cane-users, but we nonetheless get it pretty darn bad at times

I get that most people with CCCC AUs don't have Heart exist in da physical world, with real, talking breathing human beings, but if you do this part'll be useful. Or if you just want Mind to be ableist in his hatred towards Heart. I mean, it wouldn't be inaccurate, it's said that Heart "[struggles just to stand]" and Mind calls him weak all the time as an insult. He even meant that insultingly! So ya maybe you could use dis for dat

I've had people wonder why I wear sunglasses a lot and usually I'm happy to answer and they're happy to understand, but I've heard people be really condescending about it before. Things like "do you tilt your head up because you can't see out of those things" no, I tilt my head up because sometimes I want a better look at something and they're still tinted. "Can you not wear those in-class, they're really distracting" I'd love to not, believe me. "You can't wear them bc then everyone would be allowed to wear them" Is everyone disabled? "Or you just want to look cool." Shut up, Ryan.

In da workforce they are also rather brutal about it tbh. I didn't have a doctor's note at my first like actual job so they wouldn't let me which is pretty fair as people would definitely lie about having photophobia just so they get to wear shades everywhere but I think the lying is part of the problem.

Photophobia's a really easy condition to fake and it doesn't help that you can just pull the "eye doctor didn't believe me" card and it really sucks. Please don't fake photophobia if you can; we're already hardly represented and it really puts us in an insanely bad spot if you do that. Most places allow you to wear sunglasses and it like isn't even that interesting of a condition to fake. Don't assume anyone is faking photophobia, for obvious reasons, that doesn't help either; we're just gonna have to go with the honour system and hope no one's scummy enough to do that.

Anyway, Heart's probably been told at least a few times that he can just deal with it and that he's overreacting. That's a common one too.

SMALL DETAILS: Just some small stuff about my personal experience that I thought wouldn't hurt to share

-My brightness on EVERYTHING is always all the way down, or close to it

-I own like, fifty pairs of sunglasses; lots of weird ones also

-I never have the light on in my room unless I have to show someone something; for light I have a space projector, as I can't be in total darkness for another unrelated (non-physical) disability

-Flashlights are my enemy. I will get actively fuming with someone if they aren't careful with one around me

-I won't scream bloody murder if light gets in my eyes but it is pretty funny to shout "MY EYES!!!" and/or "OH MY POOR BABY VAMPIRE EYES!!!"

-I don't know for certain but I feel like migraine photophobia is exemplified if you already have it

-It's pretty common to only wear the sunglasses/use the tinted mode of glasses when you need to. They do still obscure your vision pretty badly and you wouldn't wanna wear them if the room IS dim enough that you don't have to, as it makes dim phone screens, words on paper/books, people's faces, room-navigating and people's gesturing very difficult to see

-Photophobia is a VERY diverse condition. You can have extremely severe photophobia where you're literally considered legally blind and cannot do anything involving sight p much or you can have very mild where you kinda just can't be in very bright rooms. It's a spectrum

-People with lighter eyes are significantly more likely to get photophobia than people with darker eyes. If you want an accurate Heart, giving him blue eyes or even white eyes would probably be a little bit more accurate

-Having a medical card is useful if a place tries to stop you from wearing sunglasses

-Idk about every photophobic individual but I actually actively remove my sunglasses to get a better look at something or enjoy a nice view

-Also, I usually don't wear them at home bc my family keeps the home dim. Photophobic people will tend to have dark/dim rooms or households if they can

-There are good days and there are bad days. Sometimes you don't even need the glasses (not that you'd wanna test it) meanwhile other days it feels like your eyes got licked by a solar flare from looking at a lamp post

-In my experience, ironically enough, daylight doesn't really hurt my eyes that much. May be different for other people tho

Anyway that's my two cents. Hope it means anything to anyone and if you are ALSO photophobic pls do add your own information <3 again you do not have to make biblically accurate photophobic Heart but it can be really really helpful for photophobic folks who don't even realise something's wrong

Peace ✌️

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi! long time listener, first time caller - before i get to my questions i wanted to thank you for making this blog, it's an excellent resource and i appreciate the work you've put into it. you've got a great tone for academic writing, your posts are very accessible without feeling like they're simplifying the topics discussed. first off, i'm working on worldbuilding for a fantasy setting and while my main focus has been on the usual medieval European inspiration i want to incorporate other cultures into it, but i'm wary of appropriation - i've thought about taking inspiration from African cultures and folklore, though i'd also be interested in including African American elements as well. are there any things on that front you'd like to see in a fantasy setting? any things you'd want avoided or left alone? secondly, i have a character who spends most of the story in a human form but is secretly a dragon shapeshifting as a human. as a human she appears as a Black woman, and i have a few concerns about some implications that could arise from that: the main thing that worries me is that her being non-human is an important part of her character, specifically that she struggles to understand human emotions and socialization - she's very smart in an academic sense but struggles when it comes to relating to others, mainly due to the fact that she's lived for thousands of years which makes human problems seem trivial due to how short-term they are to her. she does care about people, but their shorter lifespans also make her wary of growing too close to anyone - a large part of her character arc is her starting to care about another character (also a Black woman) and becoming invested in her life despite how much shorter it'll be in comparison. sorry for how long this got, i really appreciate any advice you have and i hope you're having a good day.

I wouldn't say there's anything I'd want to see- at least not from a nonblack author, tbh- but if you want to do your reading on Black American folklore, I would highly suggest looking into this at your library:

I grew up on this book!

Was a huge fan of Anansi, a Ghanian folklore figure whose stories made it throughout the diaspora. Brer Rabbit used to stress me out, which was the point so 🤣

As for your next section, I assume you've read the rest of my lessons, and all I can really say is apply. There's nothing you've said that wouldn't work the same as any nonblack character in that specific scenario. As you ask yourself about your character's motivations, ask yourself how it would be perceived under the scope of Blackness, and if that's something you are capable of addressing with care!

[olderthannetfic]

Does anyone have any tips on how to start writing by hand again? Not, from, like, a motor skills issue, but more from like a...focus issue/ADHD lens i guess?

I earnestly haven't written anything by hand in years. (I mean I still writes notes to myself and things like that but I mean writing in the creative sense.) Typing is faster for me, as it is for most people, but like, I USED to be able to write stories by hand! I want to get back into it because when I write on a device I'm too tempted to switch tabs and bullshit around on social media or games. Which is also an issue yes lol but for now I just want to fix a symptom, not a problem. I want to write again! I want to do it high school detention style, electronics locked away in another room and I just gotta write by hand! I want my hand to be cramping so badly by the time I'm done that when I crack my wrist I cry! Ok...maybe not that intense. But :P

This is either gonna sound really weird or really normal, but -- I feel like my brain is too fast for my hands. Or my hand is too slow for my brain. I just legit do not have the patience to write anything longform.

How do y'all recommend I get back into it and retrain myself? Should I maybe start with transcribing an already-typed fic? Should I start off with annotating books (if you're the type of person who thinks no one should ever write in books, pretend I said "take notes on a separate piece of paper", ok?) Obviously i know to start small and not try to immediately become Victor Hugo or anything like that, but I am wondering if anyone has any general advice on retraining that muscle.

I did go on google and reddit to try to find stuff but I guess I don't have the Search Engine Fu to word what I'm trying to say (most of the articles and posts were about, like, PT, or how to be less sloppy, and stuff) or it just seemed too...fluffy. Like "write in a pretty notebook uwu use your favorite pen!" Or just general focus/writing advice (quiet space etc) and not specifically on the Very Basic Skill of writing by hand, which is fair, lol. Plus honestly I'd rather get feedback from people I "know" even if it's just anonymously through fandom kvetching :)

I'd prefer tips specifically from someone who has genuinely retrained themself at this or at something that requires similar cognitive skills (I've worded that way too medically for such a silly problem ha i know), but obviously all input is appreciated!

--

My brain is definitely too fast for my hands. I usually prefer to type for that reason when I'm writing fiction, but I did just start using a new notebook with lovely mushrooms on it. I'm planning my porch redecoration/repainting, a bunch of knitting, decluttering, etc.

My biggest piece of advice is to get a really good pen. It doesn't need to be expensive, but it does need to have ink that flows beautifully. A frustrating pen is the death knell of getting anything done.

Anything that the shiny-light-chasing brain squirrels are supposed to calm down enough to do regularly can be built up to. It requires consistency. Set aside time every day. Treat it like those meditation exercises where the objective is less about never having a stray thought and more about coming back to the practice and re-clearing your mind every time it wanders.

[justfreakynothingelse]

Okay. So. We pretty much all know that Mortarion is ~probably~ desperate for just about any sort of positive recognition.

However. I would propose that he's particularly desperate for female attention (not necessarily sexual or anything - just in general). Why? The scene from The Buried Dagger (pg 296) where he frees a teenage girl who was trapped beneath a broken wagon.

(Note: though called a child here, she is stated as a teenager on the previous page. Mortarion is called a youth during this part of his backstory, so I peg them as fairly comparable, in their own developments)

What does any of that have to do with him wanting female attention?

This is the first individual he's stated as wondering their opinion of him. Before Calas. Before the townsfolk. Calas outright says some opinions of him when they first meet ("...hollow-eyed death dealer" and such), but Mortarion didn't ask. His thoughts aren't shown as wondering such things. Things like 'who told you I'd help?' and 'How do you know my name?' but no wondering about opinions.

I will note, too, that Mortarion, later in The Buried Dagger, calls the same person, now an adult, "...hard in the face but still a beauty." (pg 374) This also goes to show that he does, in fact, have a concept of beauty – contrary to what some people seem to think. It may not be important to him, but he does, or at least can, notice and appreciate it.

Another reason I think he may, on some level, yearn for female attention is because, bluntly put, a lot of the men in his life have been... Not Great. He has a lot of men he cares for, yes; his Legion in particular. Not really any women noted, other than Cinis in his primarch novel (but tbh I don't like his primarch novel much). Too, I think women might be... 'separate enough,' from the terrors of his past that he doesn’t feel as pressured. There's not the same competition there. Not another unwanted father or brother. He can just be.

Anyway, hopefully that all makes sense. I love this terribly sad and broken man and I want to make him soup.

And before anyone gets going about him just being a hardass: yeah, he kinda is. But he's not a total dick about it. Time after time we see generosity and kindness from him towards the people of Barbarus in this book, and, over time, the same from them to him. He didn't have to save her. He didn't have to help the people of Heller's Cut harvest their wheat. He chose to. Against the advice of Calas and against how the people of Heller's Cut had treated him. Time and again he chooses to help. He is tired and broken and bitter, and made so much moreso by the coming of the Emperor and the Great Crusade. But he's not heartless; at least not when he was on Barbarus. He is, or was, far kinder than anyone seems to see him as. He wants kindness and love and has no clue how to ask for it, and after joining the GC, he pretty much never gets any. 'Oh, the Emperor tried!' Yeah, after goading him into failure and rendering impossible what is literally stated as Mortarion's #1 life goal by killing Necare instead of finding some way to hobble him and let Mortarion recover. Mortarion had every reason to be suspicious of him and every reason to hate him.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

So I am AuDHD, and I work part time. (I should also mention I have a generalized anxiety disorder and depression if that helps for context.) I'm already 30 now but I still live with my parents. I don't have or make enough money to move out. I know that if I attempted to work a full time job I'd just be in constant shutdown or burnout, and even if I somehow managed to survive at a job for like a month or so it would all eventually come tumbling down. My dad says I either need to work full time or learn a skill that pays more (I guess going to college? But that costs money too). I just don't know what to do, I've been applying for government aid for years now and they keep saying no. I'm not sure if you or anyone has any words of reassurance or help for this kind of thing, but I figured if anyone would understand it's other people who are autistic/ADHD etc. Idk, thinking about it stresses me out and I feel like I'm trapped no matter what I try to do, like there's no good ending. Sorry for the long ask btw 😅

Hi there,

I would try to work part time first and see where that goes. If it doesn’t go well, you can always go back to school and try to see what skills you’re good at and then search for a job.

This is coming from a person who has never had a job, so I barely know things about employment.

Maybe some of my followers have some tips or advice?

I’m sorry if I couldn’t answer your question. But I appreciate the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[chimkennuggies]

Again with the Raphael x Cazador agenda bc I'm still losing my mind over them‼️‼️‼️

Anyway, thought I'd share some headcanons bellow the cut as well:

- I just KNOW they both have hour long conversations about some play they've seen or book they've read. Their taste is similar in that aspect.

- Raphael knows about Lady Incognita's books (that's canon btw) and mentioned it to Cazador once, who instantly started ranting about how the girl didn't appreciate the "gift" (he doesn't appreciate it either if you think about all that datamined/beta stuff + how much he just wants to be "normal" BUT he is also a hypocrite sooo), also, he used to give advice to her whenever he found one of her drafts.

- In a modern setting Raphael would probably be like those annoying filmbros who doesn't stfu about some niche film they've seen and Cazador would be the same with some celtic metal group that has like 24 monthly listeners (kinda projecting in this one, I'm both).

- They would talk shit about anyone + if they go to some ball together after the first 40 minutes they'll probably end up talking only to each other.

- On the hc that both of them are trans, Cazador hasn't had any operations and isn't on t (although it's not bc he's comfortable in his own body but bc he doesn't want to have anything to do with it, he just prefers to live with an idealized version he made on his head after centuries of not seeing his reflection), Raphael is literally the opposite, he has had all the operations and has been on t since he ran away from Cania, hating the self he left behind.

- Now, some shoutouts to the fact that they're both SO AWFUL, I love them being so so toxic.

- Cazador usually doesn't like being touched and Raphael just thrives on being an asshole so he's always breaking the man's boundaries. PDA in the worst possible way.

- Cazador enjoys to compare Raphael to his father because he finds it extremely entertaining the fact that he takes it at heart and gets so offended by it (he knows how much the other has suffered because of his progenitor).

- Cazador having scars on his body from before being a vampire and Raphael biting them‼️‼️

-Raphael listening to Cazador talking shit about all of Raphael's features he despises just to make him even more insecure (let's be real, Raphael is SO fucking self-conscious, because there's no way all his paintings and Haarlep themself being so completely different to his real self is a normal trait).

- Both of them being prone to violence and fighting for every minor disagreement would make them the worst neighbors possible ngl.

- Raphael having the lower canines really really sharp while Cazador has the cuspid canines being almost razor-edged, iykyk.

Lastly, here are some songs I associate w/ them because I haven't seen any playlist include these:

Cazador:

Rule #34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Femtex - Therapy?

Never Wanted to Dance - MSI

Under the Spell - Me And That Man

Heel On The Shovel - 16 Horsepower

Raphael:

The Hell Of It - Paul Williams

Low Estate - 16 Horsepower

Nunemaker's Parable - Everybody's Worried About Owen

You're So Vain - Carly Simon

Bensonhurst Blues - Oscar Benton

An this one is just bc I find it quite funny but Mi Gran Noche from Raphael (the spanish singer) is quite iconic ngl.

[notmorbid]

yellowjackets, season 2 [pt. 2].

dialogue prompts from the second season of showtime's yellowjackets.

trust me. i've been where you are.

i thought you'd be more excited to see me.

you should get the hell away from me. i'm poison. i ruin people.

i killed my best friend. the only person i loved. the only person who knew me.

that 'something' that was in ___ is in me.

why didn't you wake me up?

is there a chance it could be us? you and me?

i gotta take care of myself, too, okay?

if you're done crying, i can tell you some stories.

where are you? we need you here.

you are so close to being on the other side.

aren't you the last person who should be giving me legal advice?

i'd rather keep the past in the past.

are you even trying to be happy?

i know you're too evolved for online dating.

i just want to know that you haven't given up on love.

you should be responsible for something other than yourself.

you know i don't deserve your friendship, right?

we're all like this. aren't we?

i never even wanted to be a mom.

life doesn't tend to turn out like you think it will.

it was all really complicated. i'll tell you all about it someday.

it's you and me against the whole world.

we thought we lost you.

i just think it's time we woke up.

i would be dead without you.

i need to know why the fuck i'm still here.

all my rational instincts are just kind of screaming.

you aren't welcome here anymore.

shouldn't you be in therapy?

i really need you right now.

when you look at yourself, what do you see?

the truth is all around you, but you refuse to see it.

i'm sorry. i should never have pushed you away like that.

i'd never ask you to wait for me.

does a hunt that has no violence feed anyone?

how much do you remember?

i love this song.

i know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out.

you're lying to me, and i want to know why.

you hear it, too?

we all need things we can't have.

you're a good person. i'm sorry for ever making you feel otherwise.

you are nothing if not proactive.

i can't get rid of it. it's a part of me.

i thought you loved all of me, like i love all of you.

it's gonna be okay. we're gonna be okay.

i can't imagine being here without you.

you're not going to solve shit with talking.

this isn't something that therapies can fix.

you're gonna have to look me in the eye.

it's no secret we're all a little fucked up.

what exactly are you suggesting?

our lives are not that bad.

i did it for the good of the group.

i knew i wasn't the only one who felt this way.

didn't we swear we would protect each other?

do you google yourself a lot?

disappearing is not as easy as they make it look on tv.

i need you to leave while you still can.

you don't have to be one of those people.

i appreciate you trying to teach me forgiveness. it's a nice idea.

it was supposed to be me.

you're a good person. you really don't belong in this place.

i'm not ashamed. i'm glad i'm alive.

you're like, an honest-to-god detective?

i know this is a lot. but i'm a friend. and everything is gonna be fine.

is this what you wanted to happen?

it's called a narrative. try to 'yes, and' a little.

what about a story you haven't heard before?

i never wanted to be in charge.

you were always the favorite.

there's nothing to be afraid of, you know?

i'm not supposed to be here.

how could it not have been me?

go ahead. i'm right behind you.

[amaranthinespirit]

scoobywrites690 blatantly stole your loser!könig writing :(

thank you, my dear, unfortunately, they have. i found their post a few days ago while scrolling on tumblr, and my friend sent them a message in their inbox, and if they didn't take it down (which they didn't of course), then i'd say something.

it is upsetting to see because if you look through their other posts, you can see they also take writing from other blogs. one of their posts i do recognize, but i can't find the original post or blog it came from after searching.

other than making a post about it, like this one, i don't know what else to do about it, but the posts are side by side below the cut. i've been busy with preparing for finals and such so i haven't given the situation much attention either.

again, thank you, anon, and anyone else who has brought this to my attention, you're all very lovely <3 any advice is appreciated, i'm not very good with confrontation or talking with people at all so i'm just not quite sure what to do. bye, babes <3