#so id certainly Hope im not spoiling anything by this point

[scribblescrabbledepartment]

fishes for the homos i mean homies

[ID: nine fish with collaged scales of different colored and patterned paper, each with glittery fins.]

[azlovesem]

Thats me nobody wants that umless theyre in serious trouble. Because im tough and it comes in handy in tough times but the rest of the time. You want someone to be quiet and cozy with on tv. You do t wantbyhe one you love. You want an extention of you. So ineont protect you or help you. Ive done that for zero reward nothing. I get nothing gor my effort. So you hate me. Its ok i understand but now i cant support you in any way. Maybe even the opposite of that. Indontvsee a good rnd to anythi g let alone whats goin on between us. You know youre just another kne of yhose women who nothings good enough for. Certainly not any man. Oo so what child movies arentvwhatbyhey used to be. They were better before im saying i challenge you on that on that subject no offense. Nothings getting better. Between you or i or anyone on earth. It fiesnt get better. I just wished thongs between us would. So youre good you dont need my help for anything. Ok. Take it easy. Azriel turned and looes at his feet as he walked away. Yhsnks for nothing you. Thanks for making this way way worse for me. I feel the most excluded here. Do mow we csnt include ypu evrn. Watch yourself sweetie. You fall afowl the order……….. i fomt think you or anyone ever gave me a fair chence. So why eould i help you. You dont care thaf ths bulldhit youre a selfish lol bitch. And i wint jokn cant help yas now cause you you. Because if you its your fault if i say do thats it. You dhpild have known better than yo listen yo dome smerican. I dont want uou here. Dont come here. Ever. Thays the cost if you can accept by half ill not help you with anything. And toronto your cops juet left warned and lookng scared again. Anyone arrests toronto. Now the guyupdtsirs id walking on eggshells. You shoild too. Ever knock on my door agsin ill have her killed by Michael. Stay away from me. And she shoikd stsy away ftom my fuckn continent until furthef notice. Yhat woikdnt be advisable i see no one now. Shes a jusf a dpooiled chold in la la land. Shes exvluded herself from reality thats fine dont come near mine im murderous at this point. Maybe i cant support anyone in anything anymore. I was eilling to look past the fact dhes a spoiled fool. Ahh dhe cant look osrtbim a killer cool. Who knows whats up unlike her. Of course i still love her but i can be an if i cant have her type of guy sometimes. Younpeople font u derstand you have no real hearts or oasdion youre a tv commercisl not real. All ur good fit is buying makeup or junk. You look good sll laeio dies is make you look wey older. Theyve sold younhhe death of your skin and you endlessly biy it. Youre gonna get old just like me. Msybe once rvery coulld werks but everyday. I dont think youve ever had a man know your soul. Thats why with all the nonsense make believe and religion. Its nonsense that cross is as worthless amd useless to Gid as sny other human symbol. It protext as much as that star or anynither usrless religious sympbol. Youre a fool. We eoild have been happy. I can see the futire. Younhsve no faith youre a tv leedon to me now. And im not helping you. Whrn they lose i hope you think of me. I cant trust you.

Shop

[starjxsung]

Missing you all the time <333 We're all here for you Star - I can't imagine what it's like to go through something like that - please be kind to yourself as you recover and know that it's not your fault !! and even if things don't seem to be getting better or it's going slow, be patient with yourself and remember that we all love you so much regardless of how you feel youre doing and want you to take all the time you need <3 It really does suck that vile people exist and I pray that you stay safe <333 How is the rest of life? Work? Hobbies? Cat??? As for me... SUMMER YAAAAA and yesss making BANK!!! I have a bit of time off before the speech arts academy opens for summer and I'll be working two weeks full time in July!!! More money!!! (I need it cause I'm saving up for my first tattoos!!! I have enough saved up ... but like, it's always nice to have more money for security ... esp as a uni student...) and YES hehe South Africa... I had so much fun learning and birding and ID plants and collecting data - my prof is amazing and said I was one of the best students despite being the youngest hehe (a total ego boost) and im hoping to go back in the future with his support to do research on scholarship!!! and the hook up was certainly unexpected... it was mostly based on a deep emotional connection and being similar people despite having vastly different life experiences if that makes sense (but also, he's hot like 6ft and like alsjdfkjd idk how i managed to pull him but as he said himself... I got that 'tism rizz 😎). we probably wont be entering anything committed and probably reeling things back to a close friendship b/c our lives are pretty different. BUT hes a great person and im really glad I met him. (we're having a studio ghibli day this week!) WAHHH STAR ILY SOOOO MUCH thank YOU for being there and being such a light ✨🌟💖 I will continue to pop in every so often - however, summer is looking HECTIC with work and family trips... BUT I WILL UPDATE YOUUUUU!!! Please take care ily ily 💕💕💕 🌱

I love you I love you I am making mental note of your words and keeping them in all 4 chambers of my heart foreverrrrr 💓🤞👼

LIFE IS GOOD….. work has been insaaaaanely busy for me these past few weeks and I’m literally so exhausted I can barely even stay awake on my phone sometimes. so I either crash super early or stay up until like 5am. there’s no in between (it’s literally 5am right now RAHHH) hobbies are good TOO (spoiler alert it’s writing) and my cat is doing better than ever (just as spoiled and insane as ever) so things are feeling a little more back to normal !!! now that I’m back at my apartment I’m w my kpop stuff again and my family and everything feels good <3 I’m so excited to publish stuff again soon and get on main blog at some point

MY GOSHHHH YOUR SUMMER SOUNDS SO BUSY I AM SO EXCITED FOR U THO…… where are you working in July??? I hope it all goes well also UR FIRST TATTOOOOOOOS GASP I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM EVENTUALLY

I’m so so so glad South Africa was so memorable and productive!! It sounds like you got so much done (in more ways than one LMAO) and I’m manifesting so hard you can go back for research on scholarship!!!! not surprised at all that you were the best student bc ofc you were. you lil smartie 🤓💓

Ahhhh I’m glad you guys seem to be going about it in such a healthy way!! It’s not easy to admit when you’re on a different path from somebody you’re super into but it sounds like you guys have great communication with each other and I’m glad you’re staying good friends 🫶 also studio ghibli day YESSSSSS I love all the ghibli themed dates in the summertime like it’s the most wholesome sneaky link activity out there

I LOVE YOU SOOOO SOSOSO MUCH I LOOK FORWARD TO MY UPDATES WHENEVER YOU CAN PROVIDE THEM RAHHH I LOVE YOU SWEET ANGEL 🤞💘💞🫶💓👼 take care of yourself !!!!!!!!!

[lostinyourears]

Lost in Lucha’s Top 100 CMLL  Matches of 2018 List

Short forward before we get to the list. I hate to state the obvious, but this is mylist for CMLL’s best matches. I didn’t look through Arena Guadalajara matches which thecubsfan posts. All of these matches are from CMLL’s Arena Puebla(which airs monday night) as well as Arena Mexico shows(which airs on Tuesday/Friday). I’m not saying Guadalajara matches aren’t good, as they can be. I just choose to mostly stick to what CMLL officially uploads to Youtube.

I haven’t seen every CMLL match of 2018. If you think something isn’t listed that should be… say so! I’ll gladly watch/rewatch recommendations that people think should have been on this list.

I’m also not saying these are the best lucha libre matches or the best wrestling matches of the year. It says CMLL for a reason, I didn’t watch as much AAA or IWRG and didn’t want to have 90 CMLL matches and 10 matches from those two sources. So if you have other great lucha or wrestling matches this year you think I should watch, feel free to suggest them.  

1. Fenix vs. Barbaro Cavernario, Leyenda de Plata Finals, November 23rd

For my money, the best wrestling match of 2018 bar none. Some people say they prefer the other match these two had earlier in the year. I’m not going to call bullshit, as I really like that match as well as you can see from it’s placement on this list. I just thought this was a great escalation of that match and slightly better. The Leyenda de Plata every year is a great event and highlight from CMLL. Always a treat and these finals trump last year by having 2 younger and more surprising finalists who hit it out of the park!

This is a match I’d be surprised to hear isn’t universally loved. I don’t know how you could see Fenix’s flying skills and the brutality of Barbaro Cavernario in this match and come out calling it anything less than great. I thought similarly about their 2nd match on this top 100 as well.

A must watch for not only any lucha libre fan, but any wrestling fan in general. No doubt the best or one of the best bouts in 2018.  

2. Angel de Oro vs Cuatrero, mask vs mask at Homage to 2 Legends, March 16th

Between this and their title match a few weeks/months later it was hard to choose which match in this feud to give this number 2 spot. I went with this because… someone loses their mask here. I do really think the title match may be as good or better with a fantastic ending, but I didn’t want to spoil this match for any newcomers which gave this an edge. Granted as weeks/months and eventually years pass by this spoiler has become less important, but I wanted to preserve the surprise for any CMLL/Lucha newbies who come upon this list. My favorite lucha de apuestas of the year.  

3. La Park, Volador Jr. & Flyer vs. Ingobernables(Rush, Terrible & Bestia del Ring), May 25th

Did the amount of hype I had for La Park’s return match to CMLL color my perception of this match? Of course, this is my list! Still, away from the hype this match holds up. It’s ridiculous how hot this match is. La Park returns and reignited his feud with Rush and now that he is in CMLL that feud extends fully to Los ingobernables. Many people will poo poo the feud and this match because CMLL didn’t book Rush/La Park lucha de apuestas for CMLL 85th Anniversary. To that, I’ll say that the match is still great. My favorite from Rush or La Park in 2018 and really from any of these 6 in 2018, when pretty much all of them had great 2018′s… except Bestia del Ring, but he’s never had a good year.

4. Cuatrero © vs Angel de Oro for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship June 1st

This is another match from the Cuatrero/Angel de Oro feud and won’t be the last. I loved this feud and it won’t be the only feud to be in this top 10 twice. I think the feuds included in this top 10 are some of the best this year and are one of the great exhibits on why CMLL in 2018 far and away trounced 2017 and showed just how much CMLL has grown over the year. 2018 set a bar to surpass that 2019 might have a hard time living up to.

5. Barbaro Cavernario vs King Phoenix 2/3 falls(Fenix’s first singles match in CMLL) June 29th

When I saw this live back in June my immediate thought was MOTY. You might then be thinking, “well you have matches from earlier in the year you put above this.” Congrats on getting how the calendar works. I still put this at #5 and think it’s one of the best matches of the year. Certainly worth a viewing and I can certainly see why anyone would give this MOTY. A great first singles for Fenix that shows just what Fenix in CMLL can do, if given a spotlight. No doubt a vote of confidence for him and likely a large reason he was given a spot in the Leyenda de Plata finals above which happened a few months later.

6. Hechicero, Dragon Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs. Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Black Panther June 22nd

The match I gave #1 over La Park vs. Rush singles match in CMLL, why? Because it’s one of the best trios matches of 2018. I love Rojo/Polvora as a team along with the Panther Dynasty. Add that to the technical wizardry of Hechicero and you have yourself a classic. One of the best matches of the year and the hidden gem pick for this top ten. Everything else here is pretty much regarded as a great match in the CMLL/Lucha fanbase, this one deserves more love and hopefully being #6 on this list will lead to that.

7. Sky Team(Volador Jr./Valiente)© vs. Los ingobernables(Rush/Terrible) for the CMLL World Tag Team Championships July 13th

My favorite tag match of the year. As said in my rewatch thread on twitter, that’s not saying much because they only ever have a few great tag matches a year with CMLL running mostly trios. Putting it at 7 overall for the year on the other hand is saying a bit more. This was fantastic and a direct look at why adding Terrible to ingobernables in 2018 was a brilliant choice. His no nonsense slap the shit out of people offense works great with Rush’s similar ‘to the point’ offense. The highlight of Atlantis’ 40th Anniversary show.  

8. Volador Jr./Matt Taven vs. Rush/Barbaro Cavernario for the hairs, CMLL 85th Anniversary iPPV main event September 14th (Poor quality, can be seen in better quality on RoH’s Honor Club)

Just short of the match at 7th place and the Anniversary main event sliding down 7 spots from 2017′s top 100 list. This being a tag match for the hairs isn’t as dramatic as the mask vs. mask main we got last year. I was happy to see this on Honor Club and got Gran Prix as well in the month timespan I had Honor Club, making it a good value. One that I might sign back up for now that Rush has signed a deal to appear more in RoH.

Volador Jr./Matt Taven was a good feud this year, but not as great as the other 3 feuds in this top ten. Barbaro Cavernario was a good replacement for the injured Terrible, but it makes one wonder what that match would have looked like.

Still this built Barbaro Cavernario for the future which is only a good thing and makes his argument for WOTY that much stronger. Than had he just won Leyenda de Plata, which may not have been planned before this performance.

9. La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Ultimo Guerrero vs. Rush, Barbaro Cavernario & Bestia del Ring September 17th

My second favorite Rush/Park match from their long running feud. They export it to Puebla which works great. I loved the wild action of this match and Park’s son continues to impress when given a chance to be in a marquee match. Barbaro comes along for the ride having just won the main event of CMLL’s biggest show of the year with Rush. This match won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you love a good brawl, that’s this to a tea.  

10. Leyenda de Plata torneo cibernético, 8 vs. 8 elimination to the final 2 November 16th

The preliminary match to our #1 on this list. The best torneo cibernetico of the year like it is most years. Last year’s was at #4 and I don’t think it’s that much better or even better than this one at all. Instead, I think the CMLL economy was different in 2018 than it was in 2017. Basically, I think we had more great matches in 2018 which pushed Leyenda de Plata’s torneo cibernetico down the list. Still a great match and a great way to get introduced to many of the best names on the roster… and Kawato San.

11. Soberano Jr.© vs. Magia Blanca for the Mexican National Welterweight Championship May 1st

This missed the top 10 by the slimmest of margins which spells a great future for both these talents, but a break out performance from Magia Blanca who sadly sat out the latter half of the year due to an injury. Here is hoping he comes back even stronger in 2019 and earns his spot as break out star of the year that he may have claimed in 2018, had he not been sidelined.  

12. Mephisto © vs Titan for the CMLL World Welterweight Championship January 23rd

One of the best title matches of the year despite these two not having much of a feud before or after this. These two had a tooth and nail fight that seemed like either could have won any given second of the match, once we got a few minutes in. Titan has had a secretly stellar year, even if this is his first appearance on the list(outside of the match with 16 men in it). These who had another title match later in the year with each other which isn’t as good and didn’t make the list.

13. Cuatrero © vs. Titan for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship November 6th

Back to back entries for Titan and with good reason. He had a great year and these two matches are proof positive. Hopefully 2019 can be Titan’s year to recapture gold instead of always being the go to challenger. Like Barbaro this year who unseated Atlantis as Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship, but had prior to that been in a similar role to Titan, but rudo.

14. Hechicero © vs. Stuka Jr. for the NWA World Historic Light Heavyweight Championship August 14th

Hechicero and Stuka Jr. are both very fun. The feud for this belt and the matches that have lead up to it and fall out after were often some of the best matches of any given week with this match being the best of it’s given week. Lots of great action both Hechicero’s technical skill and Stuka Jr.’s flying skill are shown to full effect here. A classic that shouldn’t be forgotten.

15. La Park vs. Rush June 22nd

The first match I gave a #2 spot on CMLL weekly, all above this fell on #1 their given weeks. I’m sure many could be rolling their eyes at it being this high/low. “You think Rush/La Park was feud of the year, but their only singles match is number 15?” Yea, I think La Park’s big return to both CMLL and then Arena Puebla were more fun. This was a great match with plenty of action, but the end left me wanting more, which we didn’t get in 2018, as far as singles matches with these two in CMLL is concerned. Here’s hoping 2019 brings a lucha de apuestas match between these two.

16.  La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Caristico vs. Pentagon, Fenix & Diamante Azul 85th Anniversary semi-main September 14th

I really love this match and if you had told me a year prior that Pentagon/Fenix/La Park/Hijo de La Park would all be in a big match at Anniversary, I’d have laughed. Now that it happened, I feel like I could cry. It’s been just so cool to see all these guys in Arena Mexico and with La Park even Arena Puebla, I can’t imagine the excitement of those who attended some of these events live.

17. Fenix, Mistico, & Caristico vs. Ultimo Guerrero, Negro Casas & Barbaro Cavernario(Debut of Fenix in CMLL) June 8th

If there were any worry about Fenix and how he’d fit into the CMLL ecosystem, they were quickly squashed by this excellent match that showcased him vs. Ultimo/Negro Casas and of course Barbaro Cavernario. This was the start of that great feud between those two, which seems far from over as we start 2019.

18. Michael Elgin vs. Ultimo Guerrero October 12th

I wish on FantasticaMania this year we were getting a singles match of this caliber with NJPW vs. CMLL. Michael Elgin resident big man gaijin of NJPW won Gran Prix and his award other than a trophy was a singles match vs. The Final Boss of CMLL as the FantasticaMania promo package painted him as.

Elgin had some answers for some of Ultimo Guerrero moves. A very exciting clash of worlds between these two icons. Michael Elgin has been touring CMLL like clockwork and I assume we’ll see him again in 2019.

19. Caristico © vs. Gran Guerrero for the NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship October 2nd

It was great to see Gran Guerrero in a singles match again after most of 2018 was about trios matches for Los Guerreros Laguneros with their feud with The Cl4n lasting longer than it probably should have. I love seeing Gran Guerrero just powerhouse through Caristico’s offense and hope that with Barbaro Cavernario now having a belt, perhaps Gran Guerrero and Templario can be the favorite challenger rudos for various tecnico carried belts.  

20. Triton vs Audaz Lighting Match July 24th

Audaz and Triton had a barnburner of a lightning match. The best lightning match of the year and just slipping into the top 20. Last year I was hotter on Barbaro/Dragon Lee lightning which was the highest on it’s list.

I think 2018 was stronger than 2017 at pretty much every turn. So it’s more just about having more and better title matches than this being a lesser lightning match. Though to be honest this was more a proving match between two up and comers, while Barbaro/Lee was more a proving match between two main eventers.  

21. Rush & Terrible vs Ultimo Guerrero & Volador Jr. Incredible Pairs Finals February 23rd

This would be higher if not for the fact Terrible/Rush had the better tag title match listed above. Loved how this match played out and Terrible joining ingobernables was some new blood in that faction that was sorely needed after La Mascara was fired alongside Maximo Sexy in summer of 2017.

For those unaware : Incredible Pairs format is Rudo/Tecnico(Heel/Face) teams tournament and despite Rush/Terrible both being Rudo’s part of the ingobernables shtick is being a different kind of tecnico making rest on paper a tecnico… though his actions in this match say otherwise.

22.  Último Guerrero © vs. Sanson for the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship November 19th

A great defense for this title that was vacated by Marco Corleone a few months prior. This match could have been better, which is they the Elgin match is above this. Still great to see the defacto leader of two rudos stables clash in Puebla and one of the bouts that made Puebla must watch this year.

23. Niebla Roja © vs. Sanson for the CMLL World Light Heavyweight Championship July 17th

Another good title challenge for Sanson which saw him go against Niebla Roja who he’s had a soft feud with. Sorta a byproduct of the Angel de Oro/Cuatrero feud which has mostly lead to trios match and of course this title match.

24. Hechicero, Dragón Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs La Excelencia Tapatia (Titan, Triton & Esfinge) May 11th

Another great CMLL trios bout and it’s no mistake that Dragon Rojo/Polvora are in it again. They may be the best rudo tag team in CMLL, but to be fair that’s because most rudo units are trios or more. I always like seeing Triton as well.  

25. Gran Alternative Finals Ultimo Guerrero & Templario vs. Volador Jr. & Flyer May 18th

Another tournament final, both of the big annual tag tournaments had big aftermath that sorta overshadowed the match, but this is likely the match that put Templario on the map and of course it’s after match angle of La Park showing up will make this one for the history books… even if the match sorta gets lost in the discussion of that and both Volador/Flyer looked better in following months teaming with La Park.

For those unaware  : Gran Alternative is a tag tournament with younger/established guys and a more seasoned partner. Ultimo/Volador being established and Templario/Flyer being newer talents.

26. Volador Jr. © vs Matt Taven for the NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship March 30th

The last singles male title match to get the #1 spot on CMLL weekly. This is a great match and the shocking outcome was great, but the follow up was really lacking. I would have prefered the follow up to play out in literally any other way, but it didn’t and we are stuck with a great shock win/loss that simply floundered in the following weeks/months.  

27. Cuatrero vs. Angel de Oro February 6th

The match where tensions between Angel de Oro and Cuatrero boiled over. I’d suggest watching all three of the singles matches with these two on this list(so far) as this rivalry was great from start to finish. (Even the Middleweight Championship match at FantasticaMania which isn’t on this list as I’m counting that as a NJPW match)

28. Euforia vs Caristico January 16th

Caristico and Euforia were two of the lucky few who were tasked to hold down the fort during FantasticaMania last year and did a great job in this singles meeting. Euforia is secretly a great competitor even in singles matches and this one showed in full what he could do with a great partner.

29. Barbaro Cavernario vs. Matt Taven August 31st

A great singles match to build towards Anniversary with both corner men getting involved in the last stages of the match. Barbaro has had a killer year and this is another testament to that.

30. Rush vs Kraneo April 23rd

The catalyst for the Kraneo tecnico turn. Things are crazy in this match, if you can’t appreciate the silliness of Kraneo, this likely won’t change your mind. If you can appreciate him and Mije, this match could be a contender for MOTY. It’s balls to the walls crazy, from start to finish.

31.  Negro Casas vs Sam Adonis, Hair vs Hair, January 1st

A pretty strong main event to start the year off on. Negro Casas still going strong at 57 and Sam Adonis looking better than he normally does. Negro Casas got hurt here and sat out the start of 2018 while Sam Adonis left for most of the 2nd year, so it feels like both men failed to capitalize on the surprisingly great match they had here.

32. Negro Casas vs. Soberano Jr., 1 fall no time limit, May 11th

Great match which was booked a few weeks after their lightning match which ended on a draw. This would be higher if it weren’t for the fact that a decent amount of this match felt similar to the above listed Magia Blanca match Soberano Jr. had.

33.  Dalys © vs Kaho Kobayashi for the CMLL World Women’s Title April 23rd

Is this a token women’s match on this list? Yes, yes it is. Sue me, I liked this match, but not much else from the luchadora roster from CMLL this year stood out. Kaho was a breath of fresh air and anyone who says they aren’t looking forward to Kaho returning to the division either doesn’t watch the division or is lying. CMLL could use more female talent in general, the norm of trios matches is hard to keep from being boring when you have a roster of around a dozen.  

34. Flyer vs. Magia Blanca, New Values Cup Finals, April 17th

This would no doubt be higher if it weren’t for the fact Flyer was roped into the La Park program and Magia Blanca similarly had a better match when he went one on one vs. Soberano Jr. for his belt soon after this. Still, these up and comer tournament finals are always must watch, because how can you not be excited for new guys getting a spotlight? Bonus for this making the New Values’ Tuesday night shows live up to the name.

35.  Volador Jr., Mistico & Valiente © vs. Gran Guerrero, Ultimo Guerrero, & Caristico CMLL World Trios Championship match April 2nd

A fun trios championship match for Arena Puebla which saw Caristico show up in a half Guerreros mask, which might be bumping this up a bit for me. I’m a Guerreros mark and if you have a problem with that… sorry?

36. Sanson © vs. Templario, King of the Underworld Championship, Day of the Dead iPPV, November 2nd

This would have tracked higher, but I honestly think the Cuatrero/Titan match came out better and was free on Youtube a few days later when the next Tuesday show aired. While this was the main reason to buy the underwhelming Day of the Dead iPPV, that was announced as an iPPV the day before.

37. Angel de Oro, Niebla Rojo, Black Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Stuka Jr. vs. Dragon Rojo Jr., Luciferno, Misterioso Jr., Espanto Jr. & Templario, La Copa Halcón Suriano 5 vs. 5 Elimination, October 19th

The next best torneo after Leyenda de Plata, this and the King of the Underworld torneo imo took the shine off Gran Prix, which was still fun, but felt bloated while this torneo felt better paced and had better action across the board.

38. Mistico vs. Caristico April 9th

I was expecting more from this match, but it was still good shit. People loving Caristico and hating on pirata Mistico. Wish more came from this and that it was longer. Still this was good action between these two long rivals.

39. Cuatrero vs Mephisto lightning match July 20th

Two unstoppable rudos fighting it out for supremacy, what else could you want?

40. Dragon Lee vs Caristico, Lightning Match, June 15th

Much like Caristico vs. Mistico this isn’t higher mostly because it didn’t live up to the promise such a match has. This was supposed to happen before Dragon Lee went to Japan for the Best of the Super Juniors tournament. He had a muscle scare though and it was called off early in the match. Glad to have this match rebooked when he came back, but was hoping for more.

41. Pegasso, Magia Blanca & Star Jr. vs. Templario, Sagrado & Virus, March 23rd

Really great ending stretch in this match with both Magia Blanca and Templaio seemingly being penciled in for a push this year. Templario got his and Magia Blanca won the New Values Cup, but has been sidelined by injury for the 2nd half of the year, hopefully CMLL is still hot on him come his 2019 return.

42. Gran Prix, 9 vs. 9 Elimination, Team Mexico vs. Team Rest of the World, October 5th

My 3rd favorite torneo cibernetico this year. Falling a long distance down the list. I thought Team Rest of the World was rather lackluster this year. No offense to guys like David Finlay/Briscoes/Dark Magic, but they felt like filler here. Even Gilbert el Boricua didn’t stand out as much as I’d hoped. This match seems less must watch than the Ultimo vs. Elgin match listed above, which was fall out for the Friday directly after this one. I hope this keeps being an annual event, but I could see CMLL scrapping it since they told the Elgin story over the last 3 years.

43. Soberano Jr., Niebla Roja & Angel de Oro vs. Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Templario, December 18th

Templario teams with Los Guerreros Laguneros again. This match has a better ending than the match about a month prior when he officially joined. That atomicos will be lower on the list as it was plenty of fun, but felt this was the better match overall. Hope we get a Templario/Soberano Jr. match in 2019.

44. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Euforia) © vs. Volador Jr., Mistico & Caristico for the CMLL World Trios Championships,  November 30th

Very akin to late 2017 when Los Guerrero Laguneros were challenging for the titles when Volador Jr./Mistico/Valiente had the belts. A little too akin for my tastes, but this is still a fantastic trios championship match. I could see many people putting this sprint in their top 10 for CMLL this year.

45. El Hijo de La Park, Soberano Jr., & Flyer vs. Hechicero, Negro Casas, & Mephisto, August 24th

A great showcase for all the tecnicos and Mephisto looks like a stud in his Villano III tribute gear. Villano III is who they are honoring before this match happens and had many members of his family to to the ring.

46.  Forastero, Negro Casas & Rey Bucanero vs. Mistico, Soberano Jr. & Hijo del La Park, September 28th

A great showing for Forastero and all 3 tecnicos were looking good. It’s always nice to see Negro Casas as well and it seems like every tecnico in the company excels when facing off vs. the old guard rudo.

47. #1 Contenders, 6 vs. 6 torneo cibernetico for Sanson’s King of the Underworld Championship, October 26th

Think this is the last torneo cibernetico that’ll be on this list. It was mostly pushed down due to some of the talents included seemed very unlikely to win and thus hurt the drama. Cuatrero/Forastero for instance, as much as I like them, didn’t seem to fit well here when their brother/cousin has the title. Would have rather had them in Leyenda de Plata which they could theoretically have won. Especially Cuatrero who of course had a breakout year.  

48.  La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Volador Jr. vs. Los ingobernables(Rush, Bestia del Ring & Terrible), June 1st

The second match for La Park upon his CMLL return. These trios/team matches with Rush/La Park were fun, but think they had diminishing returns. The 1st in Area Mexico and the 1st in Puebla stand as tall above the following weeks in both Arenas. Having fun brawls all summer and in the weeks following Anniversary in Puebla were some of the most fun I had watching CMLL this year, even if the dusty finishes of many left them feeling less impactful.

49. Soberano Jr. vs Barbaro Cavernario, March 27th

Feels like this was a blueprint for what both Fenix matches did later in the year. I honestly could have seen this being match of the year earlier this year, but with all the crazy action over the summer/fall/winter it was pushed down plenty. Still more than worth checking out these two great young talents in an epic.

50. Rush/Barbaro Cavernario vs. La Park/Hijo de La Park, September 24th

More Park vs. Rush in Puebla, this time with less fat!

51. Ultimo Guerrero © vs. Stuka Jr. for the NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship, May 22nd

A fun title match between two of my favorites, but both had better singles matches this year as listed above. The ending in particular felt a little weird here, but I still really enjoyed this match.  

52. Pentagon vs. Caristico, December 28th

Pentagon hasn’t hit the ground running as well as his brother Fenix in CMLL. He has still had plenty of great matches and this one would be higher on the list if the ending wasn’t so silly and deflating. Still a great match and a great way to end 2018, but here’s hoping his next singles match in CMLL has a better ending and perhaps a title on the line. Fenix for instance had his 2nd singles match in the company for a tournament win, that match of course being #1.

53. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero/Gran Guerrero/Euforia) vs. Ingobernables(Rush/Bestia del Ring) & Barbaro Cavernario, August 20th

It’s pretty funny that despite the fact Los Guerrero Laguneros had a long running feud with The Cl4n for the CMLL World Trios titles, which even got a match at CMLL Anniversary, their best feuds this year were in Puebla vs. Ingobernables and…—–>

54. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero) vs. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Euforia), November 12th

Puebla is often seen as the weaker of the weekly shows, but CMLL have been putting some fun matches and rivalries in that arena to keep in interesting, depending on what week you watch it.

55. Mascara Año 2000 & NGD vs. Los Guerrero Laguneros, November 23rd

Think this is the 1st atomicos on this list. Just like trios you pin/submit the captain or two none captains to win a round.  

This was a great feel good moment for fans of Dinamitas and Mascara Ano 2000. He was honored then got to be in an exciting Friday Night Main Event. In my opinion the best ‘Anniversary of my career’ match we’ve had this year, which is a tall order when Blue Panther/Atlantis/Negro Casas all had them this year.

This was also the start of Templario as an official member of Los Guerreros Laguneros. Which is a big step up the cards for him.

56. Kraneo vs Hechicero lightning match January 19th

A great lightning match that shows how great the characters in CMLL can be despite story being rather thin in the company. I love Kraneo and Mije, if you don’t you may not find this as charming as I did.

57. Audaz, Fuego & Triton vs Raziel, Cancerbero & Nitro, January 30th

Audaz under a new name/mask this was only his 6th match after changing his name/mask from Fiero and Triton only came back from injury a little over a month before this match. Both looked great here and Raziel/Cancerbero are a great team who were awol most of 2018 with Raziel out on injury.

58. Hechicero, Mr. Niebla & Ephesto vs. Stuka Jr., Soberano Jr. & Angel de Oro, August 7th

This was the build up match for the following weeks Hechicero© vs. Stuka Jr. title match that is listed above. It got heated to the point that Hechicero ripped off Stuka Jr.’s pants. Which was a fun rudo move for Hechicero and something Barbaro did to Soberano Jr. this year as well.

59. Gran Guerrero vs. Niebla Roja, January 6th

A reprisal of their CMLL 84th Anniversary main event from a few months prior in September. This match is good, but doesn’t live up to the epic were both men had their masks on the line, which of course was my #1 match for 2017.

60. Titan vs Rey Cometa Lightning Match, January 12th

A very fun lightning match between two of the best tecnicos in the company. Rey Cometa seems like he is locked in midcard purgatory, but I have hope that CMLL sees the value in Titan who had a killer 2018.

61. Dragon Lee & Mistico vs. Sanson & Cuatrero, CMLL Tag Team Tournament preliminary match, March 2nd

Two pairs of brothers, both of which are over and beloved trying to knock the other brothers out of the tournament? Sounds good to me. These two teams as of this writing are set to meet in a FantasticaMania family tournament semi-final on January 18th.

62. Flyer vs. Magia Blanca, New Values Cup Finals, April 17th

A great finals for a great tournament. Not higher simply because Flyer had some good matches with La Park and his family, while Magia Blanca had his great title challenge vs. Soberano Jr. So this was pushed down the list because both men have had better showings this year and Flyer had some shakey moments.

63. Casas Family(Negro Casas, Felino & Tiger) vs. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero), August 31st

CMLL Anniversary was right around the corner and in the build we got this match between dynasties : Casas brothers Negro Casas/Felino along with Tiger, who is son of Felino vs. Dinamitas brothers Sanson/Cuatrero and cousin Forastero. I love these kind of family battles and this one is no different.

64. Hijos del Infierno(Mephisto, Luciferno & Ephesto) vs Soberano Jr., Dragon Lee & Titan, February 5th

I spoke very highly of this when it happened. It still holds up as one of the best trios this year. Demon’s as a full unit vs. 3 of the best tecnicos in the company, hard to go wrong with a pairing like that.

65. Dragon Rojo Jr., Polvora & Templario vs. Audaz, Esfinge & Soberano Jr., October 12th

Another fantastic trios match that included the duo of Rojo/Polvora. Before Templario joined Los Guerreros Laguneros it seemed like Templario might’ve joined Los Revolucionarios del Terror, him tagging with them a fair amount.

66. Cuatrero © vs. Angel de Oro for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship, July 16th

Another great match between these two, but this feels like continued fallout from the other matches and not as definitive or dramatic as the matches listed above from this feud. A reset point for this feud and the last singles match from the two of them(as of this writing). We could likely see this again in 2019, I’d be excited to see them reprise this great rivalry.  

67. Virus, Puma & Tiger vs. Audaz, Rey Cometa & Guerrero Maya Jr., Special Coliseo 75th Anniversary broadcast, April 7th

My favorite match from the Coliseo 75th Anniversary show they did, one of the few matches from that arena on this list as they don’t often upload shows from that Arena, but made a point to air this.

68. Pegasso, Blue Panther Jr. & The Panther vs. Templario, Puma & Tiger, April 20th

Another match with Puma/Tiger, their feud with the Panther Bros. is/was one of my favorite things in wrestling over the last 5 years. They’d likely be on this list more had Puma not left half way through the year.

69. Volador Jr. © vs. Barbaro Cavernario for the NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship, October 8th

This was a heated title match, but suffered from Volador Jr./Barbaro having had so many singles matches before this and even other title matches like this. Still, a good version of this match in Puebla so no doubt it was fun for fans there to see these two titans clash.

70. Mephisto vs. Dragon Lee, April 10th

I’m fairly cool on this match. It’s still a very good match, but I thought that the earlier in the year Titan vs. Mephisto match was better in pretty much every way. Which is they it cracked to top 15.

71. Dragon Lee, Soberano Jr. & Blue Panther Jr. vs Mephisto, Luciferno & Ephesto, March 6th

Demons again work well as a unit and we get Blue Panther Jr. in a bigger match than many of the midcard matches we see him in.  Lots to like here and of course Dragon Lee/Soberano Jr. this match is one that lead towards Lee/Mephisto listed just above about a month later.

72. Blue Panther, Panterita del Ring, Black Warrior & Euforia vs. Mascara Ano 200, Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero, October 19th

The atomicos match that Blue Panther got for his 40 years in the business vs. NGD and their uncle Mascara Ano 2000.

Penterita del Ring taking up his old mask is better known as Ephesto in modern CMLL. Black Warrior being a legend who hasn’t been in CMLL lately or following this match/event.

All of Blue Panther’s team are Laguneros(a swampy region of Mexico) which is where Blue Panther is from and he is a major inspiration for basically any luchador who comes from that region.

73. Mephisto & Yago vs. Volador Jr. & Flyer, Gran Alternative Block A Finals,  May 4th

Finals of this tournament are higher on this list. Unlike that match this was a single round instead of the CMLL norm of 2/3 falls. Yago was given many small highlights year and might break out in 2019 if CMLL has confidence in him.

Flyer got that sorta push this year thanks to his relative La Park showing up in CMLL to save him after the finals of this tournament. With Flyer being in main events with relatives Volador Jr. & La Park.

74. Ultimo Guerrero & Templario vs. Kraneo & Audaz, Gran Alternative Block B Tournament match,  May 11th

The best match of Block B for that tournament. Audaz/Templario seemed poised for a singles feud that never really happened. Hopefully in 2019 CMLL gives these guys something to feud over.

75. Angel de Oro, Soberano Jr. & El Hijo de La Park vs NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero), May 25th

Great debut for El Hijo del La Park that many will forget because his father being in the much more celebrated main event where he continued his feud with Rush. If you’ve come this far you’ll see Hijo got to tag with his dad plenty this year. Those matches are rated higher for various reasons the biggest being an actual feud. Hopefully in 2019 Hijo de La Park is given more to do, perhaps if he signs or takes a bigger role/more dates in CMLL?

76. Luciferno, Dragon Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs. La Excelencia Tapatia (Titan, Triton & Esfinge), June 26th

Rojo/Polvora were great this year and Triton is one of my favorite guys on the roster. La Excelencia Tapatia make a great Trio, as of this writing, Triton/Esfinge still hold the Coliseo Tag Titles they won in 2018.

77. Rush vs. Ultimo Guerrero Lightning Match, May 4th

Two of the biggest rudos clash in a fun and memorable lightning match, but it didn’t lead to much as most of Rush’s Summer was focused on La Park.

78. Fenix, Volador Jr. & El Hijo de La Park vs. La Peste Negra(Negro Casas, Mr. Niebla & Barbaro Cavernario), June 22nd

Fenix and Hijo de La Park in the same match. An impossibility in 2017 made reality in 2018. A sign of how much CMLL is shaking things up and will hopefully keep bringing in exciting names in 2019.

79. La Park, Fenix, & Volador Jr. vs. Rush, Terrible & Cibernetico, June 15th

At the time I watched this match I called it my 2nd favorite of the Park/Rush series, but this was still pretty early in the saga. Still a fun main event and Rush/Park feud was fun to watch from start to now and is about a dozen matches(in CMLL) and many of those made this list because they are great.

80. Kazuchika Okada, Ultimo Guerrero & Negro Casas vs. Mistico, Valiente & Diamante Azul, August 17th

Okada showed up in Arena Mexico in a balloon filled haze after losing his IWGP Heavyweight Championship earlier in the summer. It was a fun ride, but one of the best parts probably isn’t the actual match, but seeing rudo old guards Ultimo/Casas like proud fathers with Okada in the post match interview.  

81. Ingobernables(Rush/Naito/Bushi) with Evil, Terrible, Bestia del Ring & La Comandante vs. Volador Jr., La Park & Diamante Azul, August 31st

This match is a silly clash of worlds while Okada had a more straight laced normal match in CMLL, with better technical action and less..silliness. Both earn a place on this list less for being great matches and more for being cool moments. I’d like to see NJPW talents in CMLL more often. (Post match interview for them as well)

82. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero) vs. Caristico, David Finlay & Flip Gordon, October 9th

Great Tuesday night main event and Flip Gordon looks as good here as he ever has in CMLL. Hopefully in 2018 Flip Gordon can get a singles match in CMLL even if it’s just a lightning.

83. Titan, Gran Guerrero & Ultimo Guerrero vs. Soberano Jr., Volador Jr. & Flyer, June 11th

An explosive Puebla main event that showed Titan gunning for Soberano Jr. hard. One of the best main events Puebla had all year.

84. Soberano Jr. © vs. Titan Mexican National Welterweight Championship match, June 25th

Both great talents, but had stronger singles matches with other people throughout the year. Was strange to see Titan play the rudo(heel) since he has been a tecnico(face) for so long.

85. Pentagon el 0M, Rush, & Terrible vs. Caristico, Volador Jr. & Valiente, June 29th

Pentagon’s debut in CMLL came a week after he attacked Caristico in a main event. Pentagon hasn’t made as big of a splash as most would have hoped, but had lots of his thunder stolen by La Park and son along with his own brother Fenix who all did more in 2018(in CMLL).

86. Tiger, Puma & Misterioso Jr. vs. Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Black Panther, July 10th

Another great match in the long running Panthers/Felino family rivalry.

87. Yago vs. Flyer, New Values Cup Semi-Finals, April 3rd

Good 1 fall singles match. Yago showed his awareness here helping save 2 near botches from Flyer. Both guys have a future in the business and it started here with this great New Values Tournament. A highlight of May/March and Tuesday shows this year.

88. Forastero vs Audaz Lightning Match, August 17th

Audaz had a string of great lightning matches, this was one of the better ones, but not the best which is much higher up the list vs. Triton. Forastero looked good here as well. Forastero has not been in the big singles matches his cousins Forastero/Sanson have. This still isn’t a big singles match, but obviously practice for one down the road.

89. Titan vs. Angel de Oro, Lightning Match, August 14th

Two great tecnicos fighting it out to see who the better good guy is. A nice upper midcard pairing where both guys seemed like they needed the win. (Titan failing to win titles, Oro losing both his mask/title in 2018) Glad to see something like this instead of two guys who are just thrown together.

90. Kawato San vs. Tiger, Lightning Match, May 8th

Lots of people have dunked on Kawato San since he made his way onto the CMLL roster. I think he has improved a lot and his only singles match of the year(on CMLL TV) is worth checking out. I’m a big fan of Tiger, I like basically everyone on this list though.

91.  Volador Jr., Michael Elgin & Caristico vs. Barbaro Cavernario, Sanson & Cuatrero, September 28th

One of the stand out trios matches featuring Elgin in CMLL in 2018. The main Elgin matches to watch in CMLL this year like all years is Gran Prix(He’s been in all 3 since it’s 2016 revival), but more importantly his singles match with Ultimo the week after.

92. La Park, Atlantis & Mistico vs. Gilbert El Boricua, Negro Casas & Mephisto

Gilbert El Boricua’s debut, better known as Mil Muertes on Lucha Underground of Ricky Banderas in AAA/TNA. He will be working more with CMLL in 2019, but didn’t leave much of an impact in his 2-3 appearances in 2018 which marked his CMLL debut having historically been a AAA talent.

93. Audaz, Stigma & Triton vs. Templario, Okumura & Kawato San, October 15th

Great tecnico team and the up and coming rudo Templario. Great talent in here, even Kawato San/Okumura as team Japan. I think Okumura is underrated even if he doesn’t show up too often on this list. (He was in Gran Prix)

94. Marco Corleone © vs Diamante Azul for the CMLL World Heavyweight Title, January 15th

A good big man match and I think Marco Corleone’s last big singles match on TV before leaving wrestling later in the year.

95. Tiger vs Rey Cometa in a Lightning Match, September 4th

Rey Cometa doesn’t get much to do, but is one of the most solid guys on the roster. This is a great match from him and Tiger.

96. Triton, Esfinge & Soberano Jr. vs. Dragon Rojo Jr., Hechicero & Templario, September 4th

Why not have all these guys on the list again?

97. Stigma, Super Astro Jr. & Rey Samuray vs. Templario, Universo 2000 Jr. & King Jaguar, August 6th

The ‘Super Astro Jr. wasn’t on the list yet, but I wanted him to be’ entry.

98. Atlantis/Octagon/Rayo de Jalisco Jr. vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Fuerza Guerrera/Máscara Año 2000, July 13th

Would feel wrong to not include the match that marked Atlantis’ 40 years in the business. This match relies on nostalgia, but feels in place on this top 100 because of the ending.

99. Felino, Puma, Tiger & Stigma vs. Pantera Blanca Jr., Los Gemelos Pantera I & II, & Stuka Jr., April 16th

Some oddball matches to end on. First a fairly rare atomicos saw Felino, sons Tiger/Puma and unrelated Stigma vs. Pantera outsiders(they work lucha indies, think primarily Texas) and well known CMLL talent Stuka Jr. this was one of the last few matches Puma had before he shockingly departed CMLL.  

100. Blue Panther Jr., Black Panther & Stigma vs. Costa Ricans(Ares, Escualo & Kaiser), September 24th

Another match of outsiders this time from CWE a Costa Rican promotions that at one point was called CMLL Costa Rica(might still have some relation to CMLL). They have their own Youtube where they host content, figured I’d give them a shout out here at the end.

Hope you enjoyed CMLL this year, see you next year!

[its-a-queer-thing]

This is rly long im sorry

Hey :) so i just wanted to say that i really love your blog and i honestly appreciate it so much, because unfortunately i cant seem to find many blogs dedicated to gallavich/shameless, and this might be a perfect place for someone who loves the boys so much 🤗😅❣ you seem so friendly and welcoming, so i decided it would be a great idea to talk to you for a bit. ♡♡♡ I started watching shameless a few days ago and fell in love with it instantly. even though i just saw the first episode of the second season today, i can freely talk about gallavich because im like super spoiled lol One thing i know is that they’re going to cruelly break my heart and split up at the end of the last season.. seeing their relationship progress and slowly build up from the very first season makes me think of how sad im going to be when mickey leaves (plus besides gallavich he’s like my favourite character!). I can’t even imagine how hard my heart is going to crush after observing their development and getting to know the characters (Which is very important when it comes to shipping, at least for me), so I’m furious and already want him to come back for the next season lmfao. I’m sure the majority of the fandom started the show because of gallavich(and that’s not wrong AT ALL, if you ask me. They wanted to see a gay couple portrayal, so they gave it a shot! Though obviously, other characters make the show amazing as well. Love them all ) and i just dont want the show to lose its viewers even if it’s not much. I’ve heard this a thousand times and tbh it’s true - most gay couples in movies or shows have ended up terribly, with either of them dying, or the pair breaking up, etc., so after Skam(norwegian tv show, hope you’ve heard of it?), shameless should have been a GREAT opportunity to prove that even after struggling a lot and experiencing major issues with your partner(this goes to straight couples as well if you ask me!), it’s possible to maintain the relationship and cherish the time you have with them,, yeah it’s not exactly a “happy”, childish show( you know what i mean), but deciding it would be great to split up the [soulmates] without making mickey come back is a mistake. This time, i dont want the show to be “realistic”, ya know? All im saying is that yes, gallavich might not be EVERYTHING, but i dont think the fandom will forgive them if they hurt us like this. 😅😅 :// Rant over id gladly listen to what you think thank u goodbye 😂🤗💕💕💕

Hey yourself! :D

Thank you so much, I love that you enjoy my blog! There are tons of awesome Shameless/Gallavich blogs out there thankfully who are still active and do an awesome job talking up the boys, keeping Gallavich alive! Maybe I’ll do a blog appreciation post at some point?

Anyway, welcome to the fandom (and by that I mean welcome to the point where Heaven and Hell meet because this show certainly has bits of both!) Feel free to submit any thoughts you have about the show at any time! I love talking about the show (especially Gallavich, of course!) so please by all means hit up my Ask any time! <3

I’m not sure if the majority of the fandom started watching Shameless because of Gallavich, though it’s definitely why I personally am as invested as I am. I would have likely watched without them (I did trudge through season 6 and 7 after all) but Gallavich is just so electric and so all-consuming and they are certainly what kept the show going in my mind. Others likely disagree with me, but this is my personal experience. I definitely agree that I was super excited about Shameless because they were doing gay representation such justice. Mickey and Ian weren’t walking gay stereotypes and I adored that from the start. (Feelings have changed a little bit since the inclusion of a Trans character, but I’ll leave that for you to decide once you get there.) And you definitely hit the nail on the head as far as gay media endings. They are ALWAYS tragic or sad. This is why I wrote an open letter to the writers to remind them of this trend and try to appeal to them to bring Noel back. I don’t believe it’s reached anyone influential yet but I’m thinking more and more about tagging Sheila in it…

Anyways, I’m just over here hoping and praying with all of my might that they bring Mickey back for more than just a final two second clip, because I know they would be like “Ta-Da! Look, here they are, they’re together again so you can’t complain that we didn’t bring him back! AND they were endgame! Look at us making you so happy!” As it is, I definitely don’t think we’re going to get a 9th season unless he comes back. I really don’t. Others disagree with me, but that’s fine. lol.

Thanks again for the blog love! <3 Drop by any time to ask about Shameless/Gallavich anything really!

[calvinlepesh]

Purpose? Purpose.

My life was perfect til that day. I didn't even have a clue of how good off I was. Disrespectful, ungrateful, angry, but truly, sad. "From the beginning of my time or from the realization of the universe?" Very bold question I ask myself currently. How do I want to convey my knowledge? How do I want people to percieve what i will tell them? How will I word my stories and thoughts in a way that is too hard for normal people to understand? Can I? From the beginning it is! Now, Born Valentines day 1999 was chubby cheeked enthusiastically loved and cherished Lepesh. Born in Minnesota cold. Raised in Minnesota cold. Lepesh knew hot summer fun, running through the sprinklers, water balloon fights, Football, Basketball, Ice cream trucks, Chalk on the side walk/driveway, Biking with neighbors around our nitche. Biking by myself to the gasstation for candy. Waking up in the middle of the night to play video games in the basement, Getting caught waking up in the middle of the night to play video games in the basement. Lepesh knew winter fun. Snowboarding, Snowfuckingshoeing, Sleding, Snow tubing, Snowball fights, Huge snowmen, Snow forts along the cul-de-sac snowwall created by the huge cool snow plow! Wow! I thought to myself  mouth wide open with a smile, as the large plow on the front of the truck bursted through large mountainous snow mounds with ease. Creating wonderous mounds of snow in every frontyard across the neighborhood. Building snow forts and then having a war with snow balls. The point is my childhood was filled with fucking joy and happiness. It rocked man and Im super happy that it happened. I couldn't imagine this shit happening to me before.. Well before it happened. Its 2008. Its december as I sit on the couch with my brother and my parents..... well wait here theres a little more first. February 14th 2008 Im nine years old today. Im in Mr.Larsons fourth grade class. I enjoy creative writing, recess and lunch. although I didn't write much. I really love football and sports around this time. I decided to be a cowboys football fan when my dad said I could choose cause hes too nice to force me into being a Vikings fan. My parents especially my mom but definitely my dad aswell. Let us choose what we wanted. Which I disagree with now and will certainly not allow my childeren to decide what is right. Although Im sure I will at some point definitely not in elementary what the fuck?! Anyways. Decieded to be a cowboys fan cause my dad hates them and loves the Vikings. Which I now love today. Anyways. Im in the car with my whole immediate family driving. I ask where we're going or what we're doing. While heading west in the car my dad tells me we're going to Wisconsin and we're gonna stay the night at a hotel. The entire car ride their my dad is messing with me and im furious. Im certain today if I was in the passenger seat during the exchanges between my father and I I'd be laughing my ass off. But almost at the same time sad and angry of how ungrateful and disrespectful I probably was to my father. Idk maybe I just pouted, which I did alot lol.. anyways We finally arrive after probably an hour or so drive west, not infact in the direction of Wisconsin to a large farm in eastern Minnesota. 'There's nothing here' I thought to myself. It wasn't a desolate farm but damn near close. Large housing for live stock aswell as people. My father then reveals that im going to be getting my own dog for my birthday. I immediately light with excitement and smiles. Joy pulsing in my heart. Ive always wanted a dOG' i think to myself as I turn to my brother with excitement. I can only imagine how wide and big my smile and cheeks were to this day. Entering into the large barn with my family. Me, my brother, mother , and father all enter the barn to the amazement of dogs and insulation lol. From the outside it almost looks like a overly large stereotypical red barn, however the inside has another side to the story. Carpeted floors off to the left held the petting area with already free roaming dogs. while the right side of the room looked as if they did paper work and forms and whatnot. Going right wasn't even a thought in my head. LEFT. Headed for the dogs im stopped by my mom who is greeted by the worker/farmer. Im not even listening to her. I want a fucking dog. Moments go and my patience already thin is thinner. It takes alot for me to blow up even as a child. The problem was the things building up my 'meter of rage' as a child shouldn't have been. Anyway. Finally I head over to the dogs climbing the little fence even a little small for me already tall for my age. Immediately I spot an adorable smaller black dog. I kneel down to sit with it and attempt to hold it. Only to kneel right into a huge carpet puddle newly accompanied by its main ingredient dog piss. Nice. As i tell my mom she just laughs and tells me to be careful. Its what I did worst and least often. Unfortunately that was one of my biggest issues. After looking for awhile. I now realize my dad was probably ready to leave after 10-15 minutes definitely longer than that but Understandable nonetheless. After probably 35-45 minutes of trying to find a dog that didnt shed and was actually good looking. My mom had been carrying this one dog in paticular for a decent amount of time. Asleep in her arms as if a child beautifully sleeps my savior..... The car ride home Hank held the dog the entire time. Almost sinisterly which him being an older brother. acceptable, however frowned upon. Uncharacteristically careful I am as I hold my new dog. Smile from cheek to cheek and thats a long distance lol. Still carefully holding her i slowly bring her and a blanket along with hank to the basement. Where I lay out the fluffy green blanket and set Katy ever so gentely down. Standing next to my brother stareing almost in a daze like trance. We have a dog!' We were so happy. Hank and Lep happy? Together? very rare nowadays. I would certainly come to forget of such times even now almost a foriegn concept of us being so happy together. Now back to the OG storayyy............ Holding katy close weilding her support almost as a weapon to defend myself from such an awful thing. Its happening' I feel it' i just know' its happening' We are able to create our own reality because we (humans) designed a very primitive (in comparison to the universe) way to communicate how we feel. Speech. Speech is very important. Its our first amendment here in the US. say whatever u want. Pretty much. our speech is primitive because it doesn't describe things that we are uncertain of. We have to choose in our speech whether to Have no Idea Agree disagree yes no. Now of course there are exceptions to that. But not to normal people. Normal people can't understand this. If you are reading this right now and are lost for words but think you're 'awake' so to speak. just listen. This is a huge secret to life. Huge. It may change ur life over night. The best part about it is you get to decide. Ask yourself. Am I going to be open minded to what this man has to say? Ask yourself do I want whatever he says to be true in my life?... Just so I can touch as many people as possible and help the (working class which im apart of} hear me out. You may think im fucking crazy or that idk what life even is either and you're right I don't but all you have to do IS ACCEPT THAT WHATEVER IS/WILL/HAS EVER HAPPENED, Happened because you decided it was going to happen. Before you were even born. Before anybody way born. The best part about it. Is that it is unpredictable and it is fueled and directed DIRECTLY from our speech. Whatever you speak out loud for example say I said and I have. I want to fucking die. and I meant it. I really mean it. If you don't mean what you say then learn to do that before anything. Before u start this really take the time to realize ur worth not as a person but as you. Cause you created everything in your world. The best part you created it that way cause thats the way it turns out best for you. I hope atleast. Think about it. You get through everything. most things people kill themselves over. You're trying to make yourself strong for some reason possibly? or maybe catching myself up to everyone else cause I had such a nice and spoiled childhood? Past karma current karma. Thats what gets me. Theres no way a god created this world. But i could've created this world. Maybe im evil just like the world a little bit deep down. I am. Definitely a little evil. Its apart of my soul. Its apart of everyones soul in my world maybe not as much on some people and Ill never know why that is and I don't need to cause, I trust my judgement. It may be wrong sometimes but im still alive today for some reason that I decieded. thats the beauty of myself I truly never know what im gonna do each day specifically. Ill know if im gonna be tired or up for another 5 hours. Cause I will be and Ill feel it. Ill know when i need to fucking pee. But I never know what mindset is right or true for me. partially cause i have shitty short term memory and bad hearing and vision and a bad liver. im 19 lol. Anyway. Basically the secret is speak what you want and mean it everyday. You'll know if you dont want it as badly some days. you might even miss a day. All you're trying to do for yourself by doing this is getting yourself into a routine where you put those '(vibes) or Speech and words/ Communication. Communicate with your universe. Speak how you feel. Speak what you want. Speak how you're going to get it. Even if you're thinking theres no fucking way thatll happen. Theres no fucking way im ever going to pass through college. theres no fucking way id be able to get through law school. I can't be a chef I've hardly cooked. are my common misfires. Misfires however very common after the first few days to weeks will disapate if you PUSH ON! Just like you always have! This is what you were waiting to find. You created the world it is today for yourself today to see this and reconize for yourself today. That you're doing this wrong. Since starting my program I live with partial contentment as a human being. However I personally keep myself open to negative thoughts and wishes periodically to balance my life. However as for most of u assume this is rather stupid but selfless nonetheless. The reason I hold dark as I hold light is because this is what I decieded and this was meant to happen. The decision made by the creator of my universe which is me to write this to you and share what I have learned to help better your lifes for the benefit of them I do not know what I or they gain from this because it is beyond my comprehension aswell as yours. It could be for something of the lines of in 200 years cause I told you these secrets and my experiences and helped you better your life over time and you benefitted and you passed onto your childeren. that no your family lives on in the future 200 years from now. and they're good people. maybe not all. But if taught correctly and this isnt a cureall for everybody. But it significantly helps better improve overall mood and life tolerance in your life. It doesn't work immediately. It isn't gonna take it easy on you just cause you know now. In fact. If you are not open minded currently do not read because this idea sent and recieved and read and processed by a closed mind. Blocks the process from ever having the ability for your mind to hear and read properly as an openminded individual would.