#so i'm just gonna force myself to pass out
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@heaxrtinparadise asked: 'Hey.. Lu Guang.. if you're uh scared from that movie I can always sleep on your bunk with you. Or you can come down to mine. I'll protect you' is he trying to make up for the fact that the movie scared him more than he's letting on?? Probably.
Unprompted | Always Accepting!!
He looked over at Xiaoshi as they were half way up the ladder to their bunk. Was he serious? It was his fault they had watched the movie to begin with! Ling seemed fine, Lu Guang had already blocked out most of it from his mind by now, but Xiaoshi was the one that was scared? That's rich.
She huffs out a chuckle before climbing back down the ladder. "If you sleep on the top bunk you're going to fall off." She reiterates for the nth time. but she liked to sleep close to the wall, so she climbed onto Xiaoshi's bed first before motioning him to join. "C'mon."
They pull Xiaoshi closer when he lays on the bed, running a hand through his loose black locks with a lazy smile. "If you kick me while you're asleep, I'm shoving you off the bed myself and you can sleep on the floor." Empty threats, of course, but it's said nonetheless as they close their eyes with a yawn.
They weren't going to try and overthink this, otherwise they'd be a blushing mess. For now, they were just too tired, and treated Xiaoshi like a stuffed animal and pulled him ever so closer.
#heaxrtinparadise#ic.lu guang.post#lu guang: if i think about this even for a second i'm turning into a tomato#so i'm just gonna force myself to pass out
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(
#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man#it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing#eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED#and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself#by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others#it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless#ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking#and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk#oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao#and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3#voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries#that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them#and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long#+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc#and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it#to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite#if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent#.diaries
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Just saw a post that was basically "Hey off of the internet people usually aren't so crazy antisemitic and most of my day to day interactions as a visible Jew are normal, everything is gonna be ok" and I'm making a new post to not derail, but...
I'm super glad, obviously, that this is the case for many of you. But I do think we should be ringing the alarm bells. Because while you enjoy your grocery trips and post office in relative peace (as you ought to), here is a VERY incomplete list of things I have dealt with in the last 11 months.
-assaulted on my way to class, followed, spit on repeatedly (magen David necklace)
-professor took me outside of class and told me I needed to denounce my Judaism (I mentioned in passing my dad's family in an anthropology class)
-same professor refused to accept my final paper for reasons that did not match up with paper, email full of dogwhistles
-same professor told everyone to attend the protests and "teach those zionists to know their place" she is a Black Latina young professor. Yep.
-another professor straight up refused to accept any assignments that mentioned Jewishness (they were assignments about our families). Gave a student who submitted nothing except a picture of a Palestinian flag full marks. Failed me. I am an all As student, btw. Forced to drop.
-the chair of the anthropology department threw my complaints wabout said professors away without due process. His social media is full of blood libel.
-had to miss my finals as I could not physically get to them due to the protests
-followed and harassed in stores
-synagogue was vandalized multiple times
-called a kike while things were thrown at me
-protestors stood outside of my apartment patio with final solution signs
-new apartment, away from campus: friends of roommates harassed me constantly, to the point I could not use common spaces. Roommates told me that's his right because it's his "political view." He didn't even live there.
-new roommate moved in, less than 48 hours before she attempts to stab me, after learning I eat kosher style. "...kosher? kosher?! FUCK YOU" stab stab, etc. Bitch that was my good knife.
-the other roommates tell me to gtfo of the home I'm renting, keeping my rent ("you people can afford to lose money") and destroy a good portion of my belongings while cursing to me random nonsense about Israel. The police took 25 minutes to get there. We live in the middle of the city.
-fun fact: I had never mentioned my political stance to these people and it's not on my face-out social media (very bare bones profiles)
-been disbelieved by everyone I told this to including the police, my school, the leasing company, and my now ex best friend of 7 years
-cursed at in a store when I asked if there was a kosher section
-told nobody likes Jews because we bring down the vibe and have a victim complex. My knuckles are healing just fine after that, btw, thank you for asking! She is not.
I don't know how to request the 7th off from my school without basically incriminating myself with a threat of violence. There is no world where I just sit there when a classmate says "happy October 7th."
Hope this helps.
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Did.... did you say stuck-porn scenario San?? I'm gonna need that asap please👀 your writing is so yummylicious it's not even funny
rock & a hard place
summary: your roommate lends a helping hand. genre/pairing: roommate!san x fem!reader warnings: smut 18+ mdni, softdom!san x reader, unwanted creampie, kinda size kink, slight dubcon, so pls read with caution :) bom note: me writing jongho smut after jongho smut and forcing myself to write other member smut - i can’t put down the cup, i can’t put down the cup💔💔
You’re humiliated.
You’re not sure how you managed to fit your entire front half into the dryer, but the panic inside you is rising with every second that passes. The confined space of the machine is only making it worse as you try to fight your way out. Seriously, you swore this was only something that happens in porn.
You can’t even reach your phone. The last resort, the most embarrassing one, is to call your roommate.
Your voice is quiet at first, embarrassment shrouding your entirety. San is an understanding sweetheart, you know that, but he is unfortunately also one of the most handsome men you’ve seen. To have him seeing you like this, with practically naked in just your panties and bent over is what the kids call ‘an aura-loss.’
He comes running the second time you call for him, hearing the panic in your voice, “Are yo-ah.”
San covers his eyes at first, taken aback by the sight of your naked body. Even though you can’t see him gawking, he still feels too awkward to do it unashamedly. Your little plump ass is literally on display for him, in your adorable Hello Kitty patterned panties, and he can’t help it when his face sets on fire. Or when his shorts grow tight.
Hearing the realization in his voice only makes you want to disappear even more, “I’m so sorry, San, I was just getting my clothes. I don’t know how I got stuck.”
He’s still frozen in place and scared to touch you, “Don’t be sorry. I’m just-uhh. How do you want me to get you…out?”
San tries to psych himself up behind you, softly slapping himself as if that’ll get rid of his raging boner. He can’t rip his eyes away from your ass.
“Just-do what you need to, San.”
With your permission, San grabs your hips firmly. His hands send electrifying tingles throughout your body, but you have no choice but to ignore it. You don’t realize that San is fighting the same urge behind you, squeezing your hips and caressing your skin under the pretense that he’s finding a better grip. He never noticed how soft your skin is until now.
He pulls once, to no avail. The second time, he accidentally bumps against you with the force he uses. San mutters out a swear at the feeling, almost cumming right then and there. His hard-on isn’t helping, with every little inch he moves he’s in jeopardy of letting you know how hard he is.
But, he can’t help himself. You’re just so tempting, if anything it’s your fault for walking around like this. He rubs himself once on you, playing it off as an accidental touch, but he immediately needs more once he feels you. He’s dizzy with need, dizzy with you, and he just can’t resist the climbing urge he’s feeling to seize this opportunity you’ve presented him with.
San keens over, leaning onto the dryer in front of him, “Sh-shit,”
You feel him. You feel his desperate cock, his hot breath against your back, and the growing heat of his entire body. He feels your body shudder at the size of his bulge as it presses against you and he can’t help but think that maybe you want this just as bad as he does.
San tentatively inserts his fingers under the band of your panties, “Just-need better grip-hah-okay?”
“W-wait, San!”
He pulls your underwear off with one swift tug, groaning when he sees your slick glistening in the dim light. You’re shaking and he can’t help but find your little pathetic pleads adorable.
“You won’t get out of here until I help. So just let me help you, okay?”
He sounds so beautiful when he’s desperate and needy, and there’s really nothing you can do but submit to him. You don’t have time to react before you feel the cold metal of his rings rubbing through your folds. You hear his breathy moans as he continues exploring you, feel his shaky fingers trying their hardest to hold back. His other hand struggles to hurriedly get himself out of his sweatpants, already leaking and tip red with need. You suddenly feel San’s lips on the small of your back. A kind warning kiss, you fear, for what’s to come.
He whispers gently, as if trying not to scare you off, “You just can’t be walking around like this and expect not to be fucked, baby,”
The sound of his soft, gentle voice is like a key to your soul. You reply just as gently, “I know, Sannie, ‘m sorry…”
He drags his cock over your folds, surprising you. You can’t see what he’s doing, so every time he touches you it’s a complete shock to your senses. He seems to enjoy your little shivers and nervous shakes. He likes to see how vulnerable you are, how he’s in complete control of you and everything that’s happening to you. San keeps dragging himself between you, collecting your juices on himself.
He seems to drown in this feeling, swallowing every quiet whine you give and using it to fuel his domineering air, “Really, you did this on purpose-shit-just to get me to fuck your brains out. Why didn’t you just ask, dolly?”
“It wasn’t on purpose…”
“So cute. Your little, wet pussy is dripping, baby. You like this, don’t you? You like it when I force you to get fucked?”
San doesn’t even give you the chance to respond before sliding his cock inside of you. He shushes you when you complain, holding your arms back and still so you don’t hurt yourself. Although he likes watching your little shakes of defiance, how adorably useless you are against him. He soothes you through the stretch of him, groaning alongside your whines as he feels you suck him in.
He bottoms out, whining as you clench around his length, “No, no, dolly, quit that. I’ll cum in your tiny pussy, we don’t want that, do we?”
You aggressively shake your head as San starts to fuck you, all caution thrown to the wind with his harsh thrusts. You’re embarrassed by your loud squelching, but you hardly have time to think about that with San’s length hitting practically every inch of your insides. His moans are adorably whiny, breathy as the barely-there restraint leaves his body and he fucks you with even more vigor. He’s spurred on by the feeling of your tiny body against his, your pathetic attempts of freeing yourself only adding to his pleasure.
“Hah-you’re so tight, sweetheart. I really can’t help myself, might have to claim you forever,”
“S-sannie, no, I said no-“
He’s rabid in his taking of you, holding your wrists tight as he grows closer to the edge, “Oh, god, you’re so cute, this tiny, little pussy’s gonna be mine forever-“
“San!”
San holds your hips tight, fingernails digging into your skin and moaning sweetly as he pulls you into him, his cum flowing freely inside you. He pulls so hard in the haze of his orgasm that your entire body falls back with the force and onto him.
He’s still in the throes of his orgasm, yelping as you fall onto him and he lands on the floor. It’s cold against his ass cheeks, and he’s blushing hard once the post-nut realization hits that he came so hard he managed to pop you out. San decides this is probably on his list of worst orgasms.
Your face is flushed as you turn to him, “That’s what you get for cumming inside.”
He has the decency to look sheepish, “Sorry…”
#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez fic#ateez oneshot#ateez scenarios#ateez smut#choi san#choi san x reader#choi san x y/n#choi san imagines#choi san smut
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if all else fails, i was myself
bakugou x reader ✾ 4.6k
info! no smut sorry gang ✾ tw! trust issues that manifest as issues w physical intimacy/contact, dubcon in its vaguest definition (NOT bkg & reader) ✾ notes! ive been in perpetual writers block for months. is this trite idk. i miss my baby but anytime i write for him im like oops this is gonna be 60k words!!! so here is. a drabble lmao. also big lmao moment this is titled after count me out by kendrick lamar ldskfjdlkjf which was on repeat while writing so uh sorry mr. lamar abt the mha fanfic
katsuki has always known that part of him is wrong.
he’s never liked being touched. every kiss he’s experienced has made him tense as an elevator cable poised to snap. any attempt to go further than that has made him a little ill, made his gut feel like a stack of loose papers being torn to shreds, slow and loud.
it doesn’t help that he’s only ever had three kisses in his life: eijirou at a new year’s party (too many teeth), eijirou again at another new year’s party nearly a decade later (too much tongue), and then his fourth date with kyoka (when he tried to convince himself he just had to push through the discomfort to become normal).
things went further than that. it was a mistake. they both knew it right after it happened—kyoka first, and then katsuki after his head stopped pounding with what if i'm doing this wrong what if she's pitying me for fucking this up what if i don't know how to touch another person correctly what if i was supposed to learn at some point and i missed it how could i fucking miss it will it always be like this because i can't do this again i can't i don't—
“kat," she said after. she looked at him with something only a few degrees removed from pity, and poorly removed at that.
he attempted a halting non-apology. he attempted a real apology. failed at both.
"it's okay, you know," she said. "to not like it."
he scoffed even though he wasn’t entirely clear on what she meant by it, because there was so much he didn’t like. “i like it just fine.”
“if that was liking it, I’m honestly worried about your capacity for enjoying life in general.” it wasn’t a joke. her bluntness was something that'd made katsuki think he could push his boundaries with her. all of her thoughts were laid out plain for him to read, an open-source journal. “i'm just saying you don't have to like it. and you don’t have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. don't fuck yourself over for someone else's happiness.”
kyoka still texts him often, checks in, invites him to drinks with their friends. she’s kind. she’s normal. she doesn’t have this weird, shredded thing inside her that makes her balk at the idea of someone’s hand on her skin. that makes her think she's doing something wrong, even if she's not the one that initiated the touch.
when you started your job at the front desk of katsuki’s agency, he never thought that he'd be here, wishing above everything that he could just be normal. just for one fucking day, so he could laugh at your shitty jokes and maybe brush his knuckles across the back of your hand in passing and take you on a date where he could kiss you in his car after driving you home and the thought wouldn’t make his skin crawl, wouldn't tear up his insides to pulp.
because he fucked everything up. he's standing in his empty office where you'd been spending time with him and he fucked it up and hurt you and he's not sure how to unfuck it.
the thing is, he could grin and bear it. he could deal with the odd thing inside him that hates the contact and white-knuckle it through every kiss, every caress. but he’s never been a great actor. he wouldn’t be able to hide that from you.
(kyoka told him, years later, that it’s not that the sex itself wasn’t fine—what made it nearly unbearable for her was the fact that she could tell, only after it was too late, that being physically vulnerable with her pained him far more than he was willing to reveal.)
no one wants to feel like the person they’re with is grinning and bearing it. that they’re white-knuckling it through. katsuki knows this. he knows he’s basically a fucking virgin all but in title at thirty and that he’s got the personality of a dried-out fig you find in your fridge weeks after its last edible moments. he doesn't have much to offer.
but he walked into work one day and nodded at you, curt, a grimace on his face—and you smiled at him so kindly that his stomach twisted.
with you, it wasn't the feeling of something being torn apart. it was different, lighter. leaves wrenched into the sky by a strong breeze. still a kind of tearing, but different—less destructive.
he was wearing a deep carmine sweater his mom sent him in one of her bi-monthly care packages (as if he’s not an adult, and a pro-hero on top of that), and you said, “that’s such a nice color on you. is it new?”
there was that breeze inside his chest, strong, pulling at his bones. “yeah,” he grunted. then slowly, as if remembering how: “thanks.”
it was the attention, he thought at first, that piqued his interest. he wasn't used to it. people always watched him from afar, and he had fans online that were borderline obsessive, but people didn’t approach him. they didn’t say that’s such a nice color on you. they didn’t smile the way you smile.
he’s always had a shallow streak. it’s not like he doesn’t know this. it’s become a little muted over time, a little discouraged by the visible scarring on his face and body from his time in the field, but it’s never fully been eradicated. so it was simple, he thought. you paid him attention and stroked his ego, and he preened like a self-obsessed bird of paradise.
and then you started making these little origami whale sharks.
fucking stupid. it bothered him an annoying amount. you had a bunch at your desk, all different colors and sizes, some taped to your desktop monitor, some hung up with little pieces of string under the desk's storage overhang. you drew dots on the back of each one, a distinct spotted pattern that was unique for each shark. and you made them for everyone but him. eijirou bought you a pack of high quality origami paper and you made him his own fucking school, all with little faces, winking or surprised or angry, their wide paper mouths gaping and empty, the lines of their bodies pressed careful and sure.
he hated it. it was annoying and a waste of company time and he usually didn’t ever use dumb corporate slogans like “a waste of company time” but you were really pushing his fucking limits.
it was definitely just the attention he liked, he told himself, because surely someone doing something as dumb as this would annoy him to no fucking end if he spoke to them.
and then he spoke to you and he was wrong.
he asked why you made the damn things in the first place and you told him, “i like whale sharks. but to be totally honest, i just run out of things to do."
and he saw that as a challenge. you were running out of things to do? rest assured he could find more shit for you to take care of. so he did. tasks that he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, they were so dull and time-consuming. and you were so achingly competent that it drove him up a fucking wall. you completed everything he asked of you in half the time it would take someone else, and you always reported back with a smile, and you always did good work, and he could see himself having a conversation with you about something other than work but he didn't want to try because he was worried he'd begin to like you as a person.
you're pretty. really fucking pretty. he can see that now, and he sure as fuck saw it then. you're hardworking. you're just likeable, and that's something katsuki had never been. it (reluctantly) impressed him. worse than that, it turned his feelings for you into a sort of interest.
but he knows he's not normal when it comes to things like this.
he tried to distance himself from you because of it, but it turns out that asking someone to do work for you means you do have to speak to them sometimes. and sometimes turned into a lot of times.
sometimes turned into bringing him coffee in the morning, not because he asked you to, but because you're sweet like that. sometimes turned into being the person he bounced ideas off of when he had a board meeting coming up or something otherwise boring and meticulous. sometimes turned into you laughing at his prickly comments rather than going quiet because of them. turned into you saying suck it up, dynamight, this is what it means to be the boss when he complained about doing paperwork.
sometimes turned into staying late with him at the office, getting take out for the two of you to share while you finished filing claims and damage reports and other stuff he hated taking care of by himself. sometimes turned into him asking you to stay late just because he wanted you there. because even when he was quiet, you'd tell him about your day, about things that happened in the office, about how much you like the book you'd both been reading. he loved listening to you talk. felt comfortable enough to tell you things about himself when he'd never felt comfortable doing that before.
sometimes turned into you holding out a piece of fried tofu from your take-out container for him to eat while he was approving time-off forms that he should have looked at much earlier that week, and you being so close that he could notice how good you smelled, and the warmth of your body basically radiated towards him, like all your energy was focused on him, and your smile was small but somehow even more lovely than usual, a secret for him to tuck away and keep, and when you finished feeding him and he had a little sauce on the corner of his mouth and you reached forward to wipe it off for him and your hand lingered there for a moment and your eyes fell to his lips and what if you try to kiss me and i'm wrong and you hate me for it and what if i can't give you what you want and what if i'm not actually what you want what if i've disappointed you already what if—
it was too much.
so he fucked it up. your thumb was so soft against his skin. he reeled backwards in his chair, rolling it whole feet clear of you, and he felt the tearing again, the bad kind, like paper unevenly shredded by clumsy hands, and he had to leave. he had to leave. he needed to leave so badly that it felt like pulling his skin off would be preferable to being in that office with you.
hiding in the bathroom was fucking pitiful. he remembered his breathing exercises. he remembered to ground himself. and when he came back to his office, you were gone.
if he was normal—and he wants to be normal, god fucking damn—he could have stomached your proximity. he could have eaten out of your fucking hand. he could have touched you back like a normal person probably would have and he wouldn't be here, alone, looking at a little purple sticky note you left him that says i finished organizing the pto forms. i hope you feel better!
he doesn't know whose pride you're trying to save with that. as if you didn't leave because he made things so fucking awkward by running away from you when you touched him. when you—maybe, if he was reading the room correctly—were about to kiss him.
and you don't speak to him for days. he doesn't want to push so he doesn't—just watches you out of the corner of his eye whenever you're both in the same room, which is arguably worse. he's not sure. he's just itching to fucking talk to you because he misses it.
he misses you. in a more-than-friends way.
it takes a while for him to realize this. when he does, it hits him like a metal rod up the side of the head. it's fucked up of him to miss you the way he does when he doesn't feel like he can provide you with the things a normal person could. and though he's worked on his patience over the years—worked on understanding that he can't have everything he wants—it doesn't stop him from being selfish and finally pulling you aside to talk.
and baffling as fucking ever, the first thing you say is sorry. "i know i should've talked to you about it earlier. i just—i shouldn't have done that. and i know it. i shouldn't have assumed that—i don't know. that you..."
you look helpless. it's one of the very few times that katsuki has ever felt the compulsion to touch someone. not because he wants the touch, per se, but because he wants to be able to provide comfort. he never figured out how to do that with words. he's so focused on his inability to comfort you that he barely has any idea of what you're actually talking about. instead of doing anything at all, he just stands there like a fuckwad.
"i just want you to know that i would never—like never—have touched you, or tried to... if i didn't think there was like, a vibe?" you shake your head, exasperated with yourself. "god, even that sounds so bad. i'm sorry, i just—"
"wait, what are—?" and then it clicks, because he's been slow on the uptake figuring out his shit when he should have been focusing way more on yours. "there was..." katsuki says, and he fucking hates that he can't find better words for what you were both feeling in his office, "a vibe."
the way your face changes when you're flustered is one of katsuki's favorite things, but it's not as enjoyable when he feels just as flustered as you look. "i—oh? so... so you—?"
his ears feel like they're being attacked by two heated straightening irons and he knows they're red as hell right now. he's gonna have to say this plainly even though he'd rather get his teeth pulled out one by one with a pair of pliers. "it's not you."
your expression loses any sort of hope it once held. you press your lips together and sigh, maybe a little exasperated. he's doing his best here but he knows his best is shit. "i can handle a non-cliché rejection," you tell him. "honestly, i'd prefer a non-cliché rejection—"
"i'm not trying to reject you," he says, and it's selfish of him. because he's really not. he isn't comfortable with the things you'd want from him, but he still wants you in some capacity. "i just don't—do shit like that."
"kissing?"
somehow knowing for sure that you did want to kiss him in his office makes him want you more. he likes that you're bold. he likes that you're not ashamed of that. he wants to be different than he is. "any... of it," he struggles to admit.
"at all?"
he nods.
"just—like touching, and stuff?"
it sounds so juvenile that he can't help but laugh through his nose, roll his eyes. "yeah. touching and stuff."
"oh."
you're disappointed. of course you are. it's not like he expected anything different, but—sometimes he fucking hates his life. hates that he can't be the thing people need him to be. hates that trying is so difficult, that it flings his stomach into space, like a throwing stone skipping across a still lake.
"so you don't go on dates, or anything."
"haven't tried."
"do you not want to?" you ask, and he can tell it's more of a genuine question than anything. you're curious about him, like you always are. it's more than he deserves, for all he can offer.
"doesn't make sense to."
"that's not what i asked."
it's not. and so katsuki listens as you ask your question again, and he really takes a moment to think.
considering the answer to your question leads him to his first date with you. and his second, and his third—his fourth, and he's keenly aware that his last fourth date ended with what he expects all dates are supposed to end with.
he takes you to the aquarium. because of all the fucking origami whale sharks. you still haven't given him one and it sticks in his craw like a bone. in front of the backlit tank that holds sharks of all types, shapes and sizes and teeth he's never pictured possible of a living creature before, he asks, "why sharks?"
you look at him, brow raised. "i don't know. they probably needed the biggest tank in the aquarium. and this looks like the biggest tank."
"no, dumbass—your sharks. the ones all over the fuckin' office."
"what, you don't like them?" you ask, but you're smiling, sly.
he shrugs. he thinks they're dumb as hell. he wants one to hang up at work, like the ones you've got hung up at your desk. "they're whatever. they clutter the fuck out of ei's office. and he's already got issues organizing." you've just made eijirou so many at his point, and it's getting ridiculous. "but what—are they easy to make, or something?"
you laugh a little. "no. not at all, actually." a whale shark swims by, its spotted hide shimmering in the tank's eerie blue lighting, and you watch it intently. "but it'd be boring if it was too easy."
this date ends with him walking you home from the aquarium a few blocks from your apartment and you smiling at him and telling him that you had a really great time, and he feels like a fucking freak because you don't even expect more. you don't wait for a kiss. don't look disappointed that he doesn't try to give you one. the way you look at him holds so much affection that he doesn't deserve and he has no idea how to reciprocate it to you, and somehow he lands on, "make me one."
"one what?" you ask, but he thinks you already know what he's asking. you like to play coy. he likes it when you play coy. when you're enjoying yourself.
"one of your little fuckin' paper things," he mutters, because admitting that he wants one of those dumbass sharks feels somehow demeaning. he doesn't want you to know how much he's wanted one. "ei's got a million of 'em."
your hand was on your door handle, but it falls to your side. he's keenly aware of its proximity to him. he doesn't feel that terrible ripping in his gut and its absence is almost frightening to him. your fingers tighten into a fist. it's cold out. "ah, and you're jealous?"
"no," he says, knee-jerk. "i just don't get why everyone gets one but me."
you smile when he says this and he could live in this image of you, delicate and small and made for him. he goes home and thinks about it until he falls asleep. thinks about it even beyond then, feels that strong breeze inside him tearing every leaf from its grounded perch.
here's the thing—nothing against jirou, but unlike his other fourth date, this one was enjoyable. more than. he loved watching you be amazed by the size of the whale sharks, and he loved watching you put a bunch of coins into the penny press and cranking the machine until one was squeezed out into the pattern you wanted, and he loved watching you lay your hand against the glass where the rubbery wings of a flood of stingrays battled for your attention, and—
he loved watching you. that's weird, right? he sounds like a fucking lunatic thinking that.
but he does. he hadn't realized until now how difficult it had been not only to touch people, but to look at them. maintaining eye contact, watching someone do a simple task out of interest instead of staring them down in an attempt to intimidate them. he's so much more fucked up than he thought but what makes it bearable is that he can do it with you. he can watch the way you enjoy things and feel like he's not intruding on something he shouldn't. without even trying, you make him feel welcome—wanted.
that's it. you make him feel wanted.
the realization affects him in a way he doesn't understand. at work the next day, when you smile at him over the top of the front desk, he feels something incredibly strong—something like instinct—that tells him to touch you. small. a thumb brushed across your cheek. his fingers grazing yours. he wants it in a way that can't be right because he's never wanted to touch someone like this.
he doesn't do it, but he thinks about it all day. your little smiles when you notice him watching you on your dates, the way your fingers graze your lips when you cover your laugh, the softness in the way you regard him. you're quiet, reserved, but when you laugh you laugh hard. he wants your soft, your quiet and your loud, he wants the feeling of your fingers on his lips, he wants your smallest smiles, all things he wishes he could fold up and keep and later display somewhere he can always see them. a school of paper fish, gaping mouths and drawn-on spots and such carefully pressed lines.
so on the eleventh date—(he knows it's ridiculous to count, but he's never spent this much time with one person before, not like this)—he reaches for your hand when you're walking alongside the bay, the air turning cold in the wake of the sunset that the two of you had just witnessed. that's romantic, you'd teased when he asked you to watch it with him. he'd rolled his eyes, shrugged you off.
but maybe he wanted it to be romantic. maybe he wanted to make this as normal as possible for you because nothing has been normal between the two of you so far.
you pull back when he reaches for you, as if on instinct. look up at him, confused, when he reaches out again. "katsuki..." you say, and it sounds as if he's done something wrong.
he tries not to let his brain spiral but thoughts drip inwards. water meeting a dented hull. what has he done this time? what else has he fucked up by being fundamentally wrong?
"you know..." you start, and you lose your words.
he thinks of kyoka, years ago. it's okay, you know. to not like it. he wonders if you'll still text him like she does.
your lips pull into a frown before you speak and katsuki can't breathe. "i was never gonna ask on my own because i know you don't like talking about things like this if you don't bring it up. but—um. katsuki—do you think i expect something from you?"
"huh?" he asks, dumb. breathing is still something he fails to do.
"i know that this is—different. i know you have some things going on that make the physical part hard for you." you look up at him so earnestly, and he loves looking at you. he loves looking at you and doesn't want to have to stop and he's worried that this is it. the moment he'll have to stop. you try to smile and it's small and he wants it all for himself. careful. delicate. secret, for him. "i'm not gonna lie to you. i don't know what a relationship without that kind of stuff looks like. but that doesn't mean i'm not willing to find out. it's—i don't need you to try to do something you think i want you to do."
"i'm not."
"it makes me feel a little sick, kat. honestly. it makes me feel like, i don't know—like i'm taking advantage of you, or something—"
"you're not."
"you don't have to do things like that to keep me around." you look flustered, eyes darting from his face to the skyline. "if you want me, i'm—you know."
it's okay, you know. "i don't know."
"i'm yours," you say, and cringe immediately at your words. "or like—i could be, you know, kind of whatever you wanted, if you—if that's what you want. would want."
katsuki can only remember a few times when his head was this quiet in the presence of someone else. when he trusted someone enough to let his mind go blank, to let himself act on instinct. "can i kiss you?"
you sigh. "this is what i was saying. i don't want you to—"
"no," he says, quiet, and he's closer to you than he's ever been. he likes the way you smell. he's not gonna apologize if that's weird. "i just want—god, i feel pathetic asking again. can i just—?"
just, just, just. just a touch, just a kiss, just a moment of your fucking time—it's all he wants. and he's never wanted like this. he's never trusted like this. his head has never quieted entirely because he's so sure that he's not going to disappoint you, or be something you don't actually want, or be wrong.
you've shown him that he can't be wrong with you, regardless of whether or not something within him is broken.
your lips are warm, a little chapped from the dry air, and he tries to remember what kissing chastely is but it's like something breaks in him further the second the two of you touch. his hands are cradling your face, his tongue is gliding against your tongue, his teeth are clacking against your teeth, and he knows the kiss is bad and wrong and messy but he suddenly needs it. he needs to feel you.
you make a noise against him and worry slices into his stomach before he realizes it's a quiet, breathy moan, and maybe you've been okay without the touch but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it when you receive it. he can tell he hasn't made his boundaries clear enough—your hands circle his wrists, too cautious to go further, too hesitant to grip him like he thinks you want to. like he wants you to want to.
his teeth hit yours again and you laugh, and he pulls back, stomach tight. there's a hope in him that's ready to be torn.
you see it in his face—the fear. "i love kissing you," you blurt out, as if it's the only reassurance you can think of in the moment. "i mean—you're just." you laugh again, and he realizes it's nerves. you're just as nervous as he is. "can i—can we go somewhere warm? and maybe do this more? or—if this was enough—"
he's pulling you towards his apartment before you can get another word out.
kissing you is easy because you make him feel like it's relatively new for you as well. maybe that's how it feels for everyone every time, but he wouldn't know. he just feels comfortable with you. like you're not so much better than him, like you're not waiting to laugh at him when he fucks up, like you're touching him because you really want to.
so he takes you to his apartment and puts you on his couch and kisses you until your back is against the armrest and he's looming over you and you feel comfortable enough that your hands stray from his wrists to his shoulders to his hair and he didn't even know touching someone could feel like this.
put aside the fact that he's nearly finished in his fucking jeans three times just from your fingers running across his back, from the way you cup his cheek when he pulls back for air because he keeps forgetting to breathe—just having you close is intoxicating. he wants to bury his face in the curve of your shoulder, he wants to bite marks into your skin that'll stay vibrant for weeks, he wants to etch himself into you so deeply that he doesn't have to leave. these wants aren't even sexual—it's something about having you be his. i'm yours, you'd told him, and he hadn't even known that it would be exactly what he needed to hear.
he's in love with you, which isn't shocking to him, but he knows he shouldn't be in love with you yet because people that aren't fucked up in the head don't feel shit like this so quickly. he's not gonna tell you this for a very long time, but he knows—so completely and confidently—that he will reach a point when he can tell you.
"you sure you want this?" he asks, breathy, between kisses.
you stop kissing him, brows raised in surprise. "katsuki, we don't... this is a lot for one night. we can take it slow, still."
"that's—i'm not talking about that." he gives in, then—lets himself bury his face in the crook of your neck, lets himself breathe in deep, lets himself find your hands and intertwine your fingers, and you can probably feel that he's hard as fucking metal for you but that's not what's important right now. it sure as hell makes it awkward to try to have a serious conversation, though. "you sure you wanna deal with all... you know. my stuff."
"are you sure you wanna deal with all of my stuff?" you counter, and he pulls back to look at you. kissed rotten and smiling. "of course i want to deal with it. i like you."
and he likes you too. god, he likes you so fucking much.
the next morning, long after you've left for home, he finds a little orange whale shark hidden behind the alarm clock on his bedside table, stars in the place of eyes, and the trace of you is enough to make him feel warm. to hope that over time his apartment becomes full of the little paper creatures until his home is its own aquarium, until everywhere he looks is a memory of all you've brought him—pieces of you, perfectly arranged and delicately folded by your careful hands, much too gentle to tear.
#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bkg#fics#heehee idk even.... what this is. back on my angst bullshit. but it was fun to write!!!!#would love to be on here more often and write more little things like this would love if life wasn't like incredibly busy all the time
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holy shit wait…your 32???
I…im gonna cry
I didn’t know we can live this long…
not just trans mass but…
alterhuman…and plurals..and…
I can’t…
so happy
gonna cry……..
yes i am! i was born in 1992 :)
that's exactly why i have my age in my bio- i've wanted to show people that you don't "outgrow" fundamental parts of your identity. it's natural to adopt and shed identities as we age, but i've been out as genderqueer since 19! nothing has changed, i'm still the same genderqueer person i was all those years ago!
and if anything- life has gotten better in my 30s. as a word of advice to most people out there: your teen years and your twenties FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!!! they tell you those are the "best years of your life" but they're NOT- you're growing into a world that is terrifying and doesn't understand you. you're scared. your brain and body are still developing and you're constantly facing new challenges. those are honestly i think the HARDEST years of your life, hands down
when i was a teenager, i would think to myself "phht there's literally no way i'm making it past 25 lmao" and figure that life ends after 25. well, that day came where i turned 25... and nothing changed.
and then i turned 30. still, nothing changed
now i'm 32 and... nothing has changed. maturation happens with age, yes, but it doesn't mean that you're suddenly a completely different person. people have such a shitty view on 30 year olds, like it's somehow "embarrassing" to be above the age of 25 years old. people in their 30s are constantly picked on, we're constantly told to "act our age" when... we are. i'm happier than ever realizing that I made it to my 30s, still trans, still nonhuman, still plural
i've been in treatment for DID since 2017, and while i've healed a lot, i have not integrated with my alters, and i never will. i don't want to. this is how my brain functions. the dissociation can be a nightmare for me, but my brain needs different people inside of it in order to be able to function properly. we tried to force ourselves to live as a singlet for 3 years and what ended up happening was that host at that time cracked from being under the constant pressure and still has never returned. the amount of stress it placed on us to try to live as a singlet was not worth it. at all
there hasn't been a singular moment in my adult life where i stopped being nonhuman, either. that was something that i never even tried to force myself out of. i never viewed it as weird or something that i should "outgrow"- i told my own mother that i did not identify as human as a child and that never left me. even now, i still wear dog collars, ears, tails, and take nature walks and do things to make myself feel more like my nonhuman selves. i'm still a furry, too!
i might not be a queer "elder" yet, but i'm happy as can be to be able to be an older queer person who can use their experience to help younger folks. thanks for sending this message! trust me, there really is a life after your 20s. your teens and 20s suck massively. but after i passed 30 i became more down to earth about my age. it's not a bad thing to live past 20- in fact, it's a badge of honor. i made it. i'm still breathing, i'm still here, still queer, despite all attempts to prevent me from still being here.
i'm going to continue be here for a long, long time, and you can be here with me, too.
take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by!
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period - 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗼
summary: you unexpectedly get your period after spending the night with chris, he does everything he can to make you feel better.
contains: mentions of blood, fluff, crying, swearing.
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chris and i have been dating for almost two months, i sleep over at his house often though, including last night.
9:46am
i'm rudely awakened by frantic tapping on my shoulder, i rub my eyes and roll over where i'm met with chris's distraught face. "hm..?" i groan out.
"y/n, are you okay" chris rambles, his vision flicks between my eyes and the matress.
"what..?" i mumble, my vision is still partially blurred from the sudden wake up.
"you're bleeding" chris says quietly, swallowing harshly.
i sit up, the matress is dotted with blood, along with the small pyjama set i wore last night.
my period has always been irregular, ever since i was about 12. i'd never know when it would come but i would just deal with it when it did.
my stomach sinks, my cheeks instantly flush from embarrassment, this is the kind of thing thats meant to happen 2 years into your relationship, not 2 months.
my eyes start to burn, im already an emotional person but now that this has just happened i don't think i can physically be okay.
"im so sorry chris." i say, my voice breaking.
chris clears his throat, i can tell he's slightly awkward about this.
the silence in the room grows, but is quickly cut short by a sob coming from me. chris's head snaps round to look at me, "oh fuck-.. no its okay!"
he gets out of bed, without a second thought he leans over the matress and picks me up in a bridal position. he speed walks to the bathroom, "look at me." chris says calmly as i cry into his shoulder, i tilt my head up and lock eyes with him. "don't cry sweetheart, it doesn't matter to me."
i nod with a sniffle, he places me down on two feet. "you wanna get in the bath?" chris says gently.
"yeah.." i say, my voice still wobbling.
i stand still with my hands by my side vulnerably. "you want me to.." chris whispers, keeping his eyes locked on mine. "if you dont mind.." i reply.
he reaches his hand out and peels my tank top off of my body, along with my shorts. he does it so nonchalantly its impressive.
chris has only seen me naked once, which was only a week or so ago after our first hookup.
he flicks the bath on, putting his finger under the stream to check the temperature before lifting me up and placing me down.
chris bends over and picks up the pyjamas, before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. i throw my head back as soon as he goes "how did this happen." i groan to myself.
-
about 10 minutes has passed, the whole time i've just been trying to calm myself, crying about this isn't gonna make it any less embarrassing for me.
my head snaps to the side as i hear 2 soft knocks on the wooden door, "come in" i say with a forced smile, chris peeks his head round the corner with a sympathetic look. hes got a freshly folded pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in his arms, which he places down on the sink. "you okay?" he asks casually, sitting down on the side of the tub.
"i mean, i'm okay as i can be right now!" i smile warmly up at chris,
he reaches into his pocket and clears his throat "i found this downstairs, i think one of nick's friends left it here-..uh" chris murmmers, pulling a tampon out of his pocket.
"thank you chris, honestly i'm sorry about being a pain." i sigh, chris shakes his head "no you're good, promise."
"just gonna go make the bed, yeah?" chris sits up off the tub and walks out of the bathroom.
-
after getting myself together i open the door to the bedroom, chris is sitting on the bed, laying the pillows out strategically. i feel like a kid thats just thrown up, staring at my parent who just had to bathe me and clean the sheets.
he stands up and runs over to me full force, grabbing me around my waist and picking me up, earning a high pitched squeal from me. "chris!!" i screech as he flops down on the bed with me still in his arms.
"what can i actually do to repay you." i whisper into chris's chest.
"give me some awesome head next week."
"christopher."
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#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#chris sturniolo#chris x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine
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camping the night
the drover x gn!reader
notes: so guys like WHY ISNT THERE ANY FAN FICS ABOUT THE DROVER??? I SEARCHED BOTH AO3 AND TUMBLR IM SO MAD. i feel like thanos “fine. i’ll do it myself 🗿” type shit. i'm also writing this while im watching the jimmy kimmel interview with hugh and ryan- you can tell im obsessed
warnings: the scene of him bathing only i’m gonna rewrite it sorta?, the sexual tension omfg, hugh jackman (he’s a warning in and of itself in the good way) im not even going to try to attempt to use over the top australian slang since i am NOT australian myself and i do not want to get anything wrong
-
“aight, let’s rest up here for the night.” the drover said as you two approached a large tree. it was a frequent spot to stop at on long trips like these to the city.
you followed him, leaving the small group of cattle to graze the little amounts of grass that was around. hopping off your own horse, you hitched him on the tree.
“let’s see about starting a fire- wake up early tomorrow to get a head start.” the drover unpacked his things. you had been accustomed to this life ever since you were a child. your father—joined the war, died. your mother, gotten sick from TB, died. so, this life adopted you instead of the other way round.
luckily, you met the drover at the local bar. who helped you pick your life up and start new—start fresh. he saw your skills on horseback- knew how to herd cattle from your father before he went off to war. you had many skills, as one does, but droving was your strongest.
“hey.” he snapped his fingers in front of your face, which brought you out of your thoughts. “quit horsin’ around. start collecting firewood yeah?" he ordered. "alright- quit your shouting." you protested, "i don't want to hear it, just get to work."
-
time passed and night fell quickly. you two spent the night chatting, sharing a meal and everything in between. you always enjoyed the moments you and him had together--small or big. from then on, your feelings for him only grew. which wasn't a surprise. he was caring in his own way- always looked out for the people around him.
you were in your own thoughts watching the cattle--making sure they don't wander off. leaning against the tree while sitting on the floor, barely keeping awake.
you yawned, turning back to the camp to check on drover--you found him bathing. this usually doesn't happen. you've seen him shirtless countless times but nothing like this.
you quickly looked away--leaning back against the large tree. thinking to yourself and processing the sight before you. from what you saw at the sudden glance--he was lathered in the soap, chest to hips. you couldn't help yourself and peeked again, this time you watched each and every little detail.
he picked up a bucket of water he filled earlier--tipping it over his head and letting it pour over his body. you couldn't look away this time. it was like you were forced to watch every second and you didn't mind at all. you barely noticed the heavy breathing coming from your mouth.
the drover turned around but before he could see you taking a peek you returned to your position sitting against the tree. then, footsteps started approaching you, “oh crikey…” you sighed.
the drover was leaning against the tree using his arm, he looked down at you. “you rest, i’ll watch em” he said in a low voice. you looked up and was greeted by his dripping wet frame.
the water soaked the top of his pants, you watched as droplets were still trickling down his chest and over his abs. you were in your own world and you didn’t hear anything he said.
but of course, he noticed. “oi. what’s wrong- ya burnin up?” kneeling down, he held his hand to your forehead—likely because he saw how red you turned in the face. he was so close you could barely function properly.
“i- uh-“ stuttering only escaped your mouth, you needed space. the mere proximity of him overwhelms you. “no- i’m just…” you stood up and he did the same. you were face to face with him again—your plan to distance yourself for air was futile.
you felt his breath on your face, his own body heat adding to your own. “i’m just tired.” avoiding his eye contact, he held your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. “i’m sure it’s more than that.” he said softly, he placed his hands on your exposed arms, the drover felt how the rest of your body was affected by him.
“need a bath of your own to cool down, hm?”
#hugh jackman#the drover australia#the drover#australia 2008#the drover x reader#gender neutral reader#x reader#the drover 2008#ONCE CHANCE HUGH PLS#IM TWEAKING#GUYS PUT ME DOWN
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Me and Your Mama
Summary: Terry and Patrice learn more about their love through life changing news on New Year’s Eve.
Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC
Word Count: 4,436
Warnings: Mentions of Pregnancy
Recommended Reading: Spoiled, Caught
Author's Note: We're at the end of Ficmas! Thanks for all the requests sprinkled in the middle. This has been a fun little ride and hope you feel fulfilled at the end of this one. Stay safe this New Year's Eve. See you in 2025.
Several mornings passed between Christmas, New Year's Eve, and their five-hour drive up north with no attempt to confirm Patrice's suspicion. She'd purposely avoided all conversation about it, preferring to push the thought to the back of her mind until she and Terry could no longer tiptoe around the growing elephant in the room.
Moments after luggage was rolled into their downtown D.C. hotel room, the pair braced themselves for punishing winds and bitter cold in search of the nearest convenience store to pick up comfort snacks and three different pregnancy tests. Terry did the honors of selecting what he thought were the best options based on his research, while Patrice forced herself to take an interest in potato chips and snack cakes a few aisles over.
She couldn't bring herself to engage. Talking about it, whatever it was, would make the dreams more real. And if what she dreamed wasn't true, she didn't know how she could pretend that all was well while her heart chipped and shattered inside her chest. So, she stayed away and let Terry put on his brave face for the both of them.
In the bright convenience store nearly empty as people prepared for a night out to celebrate the incoming new year, they felt like children caught doing something wrong instead of an adult couple on the precipice of discovering what the rest of their lives could look like.
Terry mumbled through passive small talk with the smiling cashier, staying just vague enough in his answers to avoid the glaring topic of the day before ushering Patrice out of the automated sliding doors and back toward their home for the next few nights.
Once they returned, neither of them spoke. Patrice slowly unpacked plastic bags filled with items, leaving the slender white boxes for last.
She drug a fingernail across the box on top, then looked at Terry, who couldn't take his eyes off her. "I think I'm gonna pee by myself if that's okay."
"That's cool," he answered, offering support with a weak smile. "I'll be out here if you need me."
Most of Patrice's time in the bathroom was spent staring at her reflection in the mirror. She slowly lifted the hem of her thick, cashmere sweater to examine her stomach, twisting side to side for the best angle. Nothing of note. The small bump that did exist was no different than any other day. At least, that's what she told herself as she ran her fingers along the slight curve.
Unfolded instructions littered the bathroom counter, each saying a variation of the same thing: Pee, wait, have a minor panic attack, then check the results. Or something like that. Patrice's eyes were starting to cross from information overload.
On the other side of the door, Terry stared out of the large bedroom window at nothing in particular as thoughts quickly ran in and out of his brain. He'd never considered being anybody's dad unless Patrice was on the other side of the fantasy. Maybe once or twice when other partners brought it up, but nothing concrete. Nothing this real, nothing that felt this right.
Sure, it was quick. And sure, it was probably not a great idea to introduce a child into a relationship that was only recently recognized by the state as a legal union. Any boy, girl, or otherwise would be dropped into a marriage not much older than them and cared for by two humans still trying to understand life. But they'd be loved. They'd be showered in affection from sun up to sun down. He had no doubt about it. What greater joy than to hold a child that was half him and half the woman he loved with every fiber of his being?
But he was only one part of the equation. Ultimately, Patrice was the deciding factor. Patrice and a collection of three pregnancy tests two minutes away from unveiling their fate.
The toilet flushing made Terry blink back into reality from daydreams of diaper changes and kindergarten graduations. He caught a glimpse of himself in the window's faultless glass before turning in enough time to see Patrice poke her head out of the bathroom for his attention.
She fiddled with her fingers and rocked on her heels. "You can come in if you want."
He nodded, careful not to appear too eager or unconcerned, and moved to join her for the wait.
The soft click of the door closing sealed them into the room together. Terry silently shuffled into the room past Patrice to sit on the closed toilet lid and nervously ran his palm down the back of his head. He took a deep breath before looking over at Patrice, who'd gone back to obsessing over how her stomach looked beneath her clothes.
"Hey," he spoke in a sweet, low tenor to avoid startling her. She looked over, eyes shining from suppressed tears, and found him looking at her with round doe eyes. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. "Come here, sweetheart."
Sweetheart. To Patrice's soul, the word felt like warm chicken soup on a winter evening. She could never question how Terry felt about her. He'd been there to offer comfort through a tumultuous, frightening week. Feeling his large hands grip her waist to pull her between his legs grounded her in the right there and then. Regardless of the results, he'd still be around to kiss away the bad times and laugh with her through the good.
Patrice lightly placed her cold hands on his face while he looked up at her, waiting for anything she decided to say.
She closed her eyes and sighed. "What if it's negative?"
"Well. We'll go out and drink champagne all night like we planned. I hate the taste on its own but know I'll love it on your lips when we kiss at midnight. Then we move on. Maybe have a conversation that we should've had a long time ago on the drive home."
"And if it's positive?"
Terry took a deep breath, allowing the words to come out in a mind-clearing huff. "We skip the champagne and keep the kiss. But we have to celebrate either way, baby. Time's gonna pass no matter what."
For all his mixed bag of positive and negative traits, Terry's sneaky optimism was Patrice's favorite. A short, airy laugh came through Patrice's nostrils as she tossed her head back and groaned.
"You're always so sure of things and I'm sitting here about to throw up my lunch."
Terry rubbed his hands up and down the back of her legs with a smile. "I'm not sure of shit, really," he laughed. "I just know that we'll be alright in the end. This Gunny I was close with told me everything goes back to baseline. Don't sweat the bullshit in between. So, that's what I'm doing. Waiting it out."
"That doesn't scare you? The waiting?"
"Sometimes." A quick glance down convinced him to slowly lift Patrice's sweater with one hand and hold it in place while he pressed feather-soft kisses across her abdomen. Kisses for her? Kisses for who he hoped lived inside? He didn't know. But he spoke against the area to communicate with whoever would listen. "But waiting always brought me something better than what I had. How could I not trust the process when I have the result standing right in front of me?"
A rush of emotions broke the levees holding Patrice's tears back, sending a wet stream sliding down her hot cheeks. Terry wiped her face with the back of his hand in silence, the gentleness in his care working double time to soothe whatever thoughts and feelings were coming forward for her.
When the short bout of crying had ceased, and she was left with nothing but her husband, a timer ticking down to mere seconds and a looming result hanging over their heads, Patrice ran her thumb along Terry's cheek and smiled down at him.
"I love you more than I ever thought I could, but we gotta slow down, Terrence. I'm worn out."
Terry answered her joke with a low chuckle that bounced his shoulders and spread his smile wide. "I'm with you, baby. That should be our New Year's resolution."
"Either that or finally getting around to that budget we've been talking about. Might have to add a baby fund line item."
"We got it. Don't worry." Terry assured before kissing the inside of her wrist. "Whatever happens, we're okay. Gimme a kiss."
Sweet affection in the face of potentially life-altering change offered some sense of normalcy as they allowed the world to turn into abstract concepts with shared, tender smooches.
They'd almost forgotten what brought them into the bathroom until the harsh trill of Patrice's phone timer ripped through space and time, again placing them smack dab in the middle of the present.
When Terry reached to grab one of the tests after silencing the noise, Patrice jolted forward to grab his wrist. "Okay, wait!" she panted. "I-I'll grab one, and you'll grab one. Then we'll do the third one together. Does that make sense?"
"Alright. Which one do you want?"
"I don't fuckin' know! Choose for me! I can't do this, TJ!"
Terry wore a crooked smile as he calmly plucked two tests from their containers and placed the digital option into Patrice's palm face down. He took the analog test and covered the result with his thumb before swallowing the lump in his throat.
A deep breath rushed through parted lips. "Turn it over on three. One, two…"
Three never came for Patrice. Even after Terry had uttered the number and turned his test over slowly, Patrice kept her eyes closed, waiting for him to spill the beans. She couldn't bring herself to verify on her own accord. He'd have to be her eyes and ears.
Silence hung in the air for a few seconds, making the wait agonizing until Terry broke the seal.
"Treecey," he called out. "Please look with me. I need you to see."
A deep breath helped her blink her way back into clear eyesight. She didn't look at Terry or try to peek at the pink test in his hand. Instead, she flipped her test over with trembling fingers and stared at the small digital screen displaying a single word.
"Oh –" was all she managed to choke out before looking up at Terry's beaming smile and tear-soaked face. "Does yours say –?"
"Two lines, baby. Two!"
Disbelief gave way to unadulterated shock. "Oh. My. God. Look at the other one!"
"You have to do it with me!"
Another countdown as they held on to the final test together preceded an excited flip and harmonizing reactions that could only be described as happy sobs.
Patrice rocked Terry in a tight embrace while he clung to her, crying into her sweater's soft fabric more than he'd cried in years. An avalanche of emotions wrapped in disbelief that he'd been immeasurably blessed after his year started with so much strife. His losses came with gains ten times above what he could ask or think.
His wife brushed tears from her already stained face before kissing the crown of his head and repeating, "You're gonna be a daddy, Pooh. You're gonna be a daddy!"
Emotions distorted his deep voice. "Swear?"
"Swear, baby. You're gonna be a daddy."
He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, not caring who he disturbed. Then, he'd run down the hallways, through the lobby's doors, out into the cold D.C. air, and holler to anyone who would listen that his wife, the girl he fell in love with before he could legally drink, was carrying a child that might look just like him someday.
But he couldn't get past sharing the excitement seemingly gushing out of his pores with the only other person who could understand his joy. He chose to lift Patrice up in the air as he stood tall, spinning her in a slow circle before gingerly placing her back on her feet and pressing his forehead against hers.
"What the fuck," he laughed as he tickled her sides, causing her to giggle back. "I'm having a baby. With my baby!"
"I guess I couldn't beat teen pregnancy. My parents are going to be so disappointed in me."
"Stop it." The thought of his parents sitting in their living room without a clue that their firstborn was miles away receiving such big news flipped on a light bulb in Terry's head. "Our parents! Should we call? We should call them now. Do you wanna do a group FaceTime or like a conference call or what?"
Patrice watched Terry fumble around his pockets for his phone until he came up empty-handed and reached for hers. She pushed the device further away and shook her head. "Nuh-uh. Can we just…enjoy the news by ourselves tonight. I want it to be our secret a little longer. Is that okay?"
"Of course, Piggy. Whatever you want. I'm sorry, I just - shit. This is insane. You have a baby in there. Should we tell them we're a party of three tonight at dinner?"
"No," Patrice laughed, finding his unbridled excitement adorable. "If they cancel this reservation because you playin', me and you might have a problem, Daddy."
Terry bit his lip and lowered his head to kiss at her neck. "Damn, I love hearing you say that. Say it again."
By the time they were approaching a swanky steakhouse on Patrice's long list of places to visit, she'd called him Daddy so much in jest that she almost told the hostess that that was the name on their reservation.
Pockets of quiet conversation held over candlelight and crisp white tablecloths greeted them as they were led through the dimly lit restaurant to the table for the evening. Terry moved to pull out a chair for Patrice, but she stopped him with a kind smile.
"I'm gonna run to the restroom. Mommy bladder is starting early. Order something cute for me?"
Her joke made Terry smile like a little boy until she was out of his sight and safely inside the ladies' room.
Romantic jazz music oozing out of speakers concealed inside the walls like smooth red wine gave Patrice time to replay the day in her head, unable to contain the elation on her face as she washed her hands at the sink.
Another woman, tall like a model and beautifully sepia-toned, applied lipstick in the mirror and noticed how she tried but failed to stop grinning. She smiled at Patrice before speaking. "You're glowing," she complimented. "I need whatever you've got going on tonight."
Patrice chewed the inside of her cheek after a bashful thank you. She wanted to keep the words in and pleaded with herself to walk out of the restroom and return to Terry without uttering another word.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted, unable to fight the urge. "My husband and I – he's the tall one out there waiting on me – we just found out that I'm pregnant. We were best friends over a decade ago, and I still can't believe we're married. Now, there's a baby inside me with half his DNA. I'm having a baby with Terry Richmond. Oh my God." The realization of her social blunder hit her like an 18-wheeler. "And I just told a stranger all my business. I am so sorry!"
"No, no! That's incredible, girl! Can I hug you?"
Patrice didn't know why she obliged, but she did, allowing herself to sink into this woman's arms like she was an old friend and not someone whose name she didn't know. The woman rubbed her back and squeezed tight before pulling away.
"Congratulations, sis. Happy Holidays."
While Patrice received well wishes on the other side of the establishment, Terry gave his full attention to the cocktail menu as a server attempted to provide recommendations.
"That one is a crowd favorite," the young man pointed out. "Is she a rum lover? It comes with top shelf Appleton Estate if so."
Terry chuckled to himself. "She is, but she can't have any right now. We just found out she's pregnant before we got here." Further explanation caught in his throat. He didn't mean to offer up their secret. Excited Terry had done the talking, not calm and reserved Terry.
He watched with wide eyes and an internal scolding rattling around the container of his mind as the server smiled and jotted a note on his pad. "First, congratulations! I'll note that to the staff and see if we can't do something special for you and your beautiful date. Second, no worries at all. We can turn that one into a mocktail and not lose too many of the flavor notes."
"Thanks," Terry breathed out. "Hey, can you make sure you don't tell her I said that? It was supposed to be a secret."
"Our lips are sealed, Mr. Richmond. Consider it a little something extra to celebrate the new year."
Terry made a mental note to leave a handsome tip behind as Patrice reappeared from her time away. Her smile hypnotized him until she was close enough to remind him about her chair. He scrambled to his feet to take care of his duty, nervously pushing her to the table as if this were their first date.
When he was back in his seat, he watched her survey the room and menu, taking in each of her features.
High cheekbones passed down from a long line of majestic women. Soft, mahogany skin that mesmerized him in golden hour light every evening. Dark, expressive eyes that told the story of her inner thoughts, even when she tried to hide. Full lips he couldn't resist. The total package. Everything he hoped for was wrapped in one person.
Terry sat across from her, smitten. His grin showcased all of his teeth and then some while she scanned the appetizers for something to satiate her peckishness.
Prolonged silence made Patrice glance up and then double-take when she noticed Terry's one-sided staring contest. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just trying to remember how you looked on the second most important night of our lives."
Sudden bashfulness sent heat rushing to her face. "The third," Patrice corrected with a smile. "Don't leave out New Orleans."
Terry chuckled at the memory. "Baby, the sun was barely in the sky when you decided to disturb the whole third floor."
"It was time to wake up anyway. That's what's wrong with the world now."
Jokes and discussions about the possibility of dessert before dinner dominated the conversation until their server returned with two drinks meant to loosen their lips and hips for the evening. A subtle wink between Terry and the server communicated all he needed to know without tipping off Patrice as she excitedly watched beautifully decorated glasses hit the table.
"To our first night out as Mom and Dad," Terry toasted, prompting Patrice to raise her glass.
Mom and Dad—parents to be—two bodies forming one in a few months—a culmination of thousands of experiences leading them to a fate written before they were born. The concept sounded so foreign yet so familiar.
Patrice dabbed at misty eyes, sniffling out a breathy, "To Mommy and Daddy."
Glasses softly clinked before she joined Terry in a long sip and starry-eyed gazes across the table to officially kick off a night of celebration.
Or so they'd hoped. Full bellies caught up with exhausted minds and bodies once silver forks hit clean porcelain plates well before their planned 10 p.m. exit. They tried to negotiate the next move with each other: a little walk for digestion, maybe a minute to listen to street performers play go-go renditions of oldies their parents would enjoy, perhaps another dessert to keep the mood high.
All of their suggestions paled in comparison to hearing the mechanical whir of the hotel's lock precede the door swinging open to a warm room. There were no crowds trying to cram their bodies onto a rooftop brimming with eager folks anticipating good fortune as the clock flipped forward on a new year. There was only each other and the comfort of familiarity.
Bottles of Sprite from the downstairs market acted like expensive bottles of bubbly poured into scavenged plastic cups next to a collection of fatty snacks, and cell phones switched to silent mode to avoid distractions.
Terry and Patrice two-stepped hand in hand to jams playing from the television broadcast, dressed down in comfortable clothes and sporting ever-growing smiles.
Under warm lamplight, Terry held Patrice's hand over her head to help her spin like a wind-up ballerina before pulling her close. "What were you doing last year around this time?"
"Ugh, don't remind me," she groaned, a sour look making her frown momentarily. "I was in a bathroom stall breaking up with my ex. Then Phee got us so drunk that we ended up blacked out before the countdown. I still don't know how we got back to her house or why we were cuddled up in her bed like that."
"Sounds like the kind of chaos you three get into when you're unsupervised."
"Whatever." Patrice laughed before making her fingers dance across Terry's broad shoulders. "What about you? What were you doing?"
Terry let a wry smile creep across his face. "Alone and sleeping. I didn't think there was much to look forward to, and I had to work in the morning anyway. Don't even think I turned the TV on."
The thought of Terry sleeping in on the night handpicked for blind optimism drew a sympathetic look from Patrice. "We both had a rough go at it, huh?"
"I don't know, mine was pretty chill. You were the one missing chunks of time." Patrice took faux offense at his joke, slapping across his chest before they let off laughs that slowly dissipated into a comfortable silence.
Terry rested his head atop Patrice's, his mind taking a winding road back to the beginning while she hummed a made-up tune to herself.
"Fifth-period Forensics with Mr. Turner. Junior year. You were wearing little strawberries crocheted on a pink sweater and your hair in a high ponytail. Kind of like tonight."
Patrice looked up and tilted her head in confusion. "What?"
"That's the moment I fell in love with you. I'd always liked you, but that's the moment I realized that I loved you," he clarified. "I spent so much time denying it, tiptoeing around how I felt and trying to find you in other women long after we were done, but I kept coming back to you acing that pop quiz in a pink strawberry sweater."
Patrice chuckled and smiled, recalling the time when her feelings blossomed beyond butterflies in her tummy at the mention of his name into a full-bodied, ever-present yearning for his heart.
Terry waited expectantly, longing to know if there was a moment for Patrice – if her love had a spark that rocked her world the way she did so long ago for him.
Flashes of bright light and distant cheering cut in just as Patrice seemed ready to confess, stealing her attention for a second too long.
She gasped like a child on Christmas morning. "Look, baby! We can see the fireworks from here." Patrice tugged Terry along, all two hundred plus pounds of him yielding to her will slowly but surely.
He had to admit, the sight was beautiful. Bright flashes of light turning into whimsical bursts kept him captivated as the clock ticked down the final minutes of the year. He slowly embraced her from behind, needing to feel her warmth combined with his for comfort. Patrice watched in content silence, smiling to herself while Terry watched the show unfold from the reflection in her glasses.
Two minutes left. Two minutes to cap off a whirlwind 365 days and march triumphantly into a new slate. Two minutes to release long-forgotten truths buried in the recesses of Patrice's mind. She leaned back against Terry and craned her neck to admire him from her vantage point.
A jawline fit for a man meant to be showcased to the world. Piercing eyes that shifted and changed with his emotions. Skin marked with blemishes telling countless stories – some he'd share and others that would follow him to the other side. Full pink lips that talked her through good, bad, and intimate times. All the features that might grace a child not yet named and growing in her womb.
"Senior prom night. You told me you loved me, and I said it back because I always said it back. But, that time, it felt different. It wasn't like sayin' it to my parents or my friends or the stray cat Mama let us feed. A different part of my heart meant it. That was the first moment."
Terry looked down at her, smirking and silently encouraging her to continue. She turned in his arms and then took hold of his ears to rub gentle circles against them.
One minute left. Seconds dwindling. She continued. "The second time was today. And I hope there's a third, a fourth, and one hundred more to come. I never want to stop falling in love with you, TJ."
Terry squeezed her a little tighter as if she might vaporize and blow away if he didn't hold on for dear life. "Yeah, me too," He whispered, drawing closer to her lips. "Never."
Faint voices shouting a countdown in unison floated through empty streets and up to the 10th floor to surround a couple preparing to embark on a new journey.
“Ten…nine…eight…seven…”
An excited buzzing, nearly perceptible by touch, sparked across the city. Heartfelt 'I love you's' shared as one breath passed between Terry and Patrice just before they connected lips and tongues.
“Six…five…four…”
Colors painted their bodies from the window, bathing them in light one last time from January to December. A final salute from the Most High.
"Three…two…one! Happy New Year!"
Endless possibilities coated in an extra dose of magic felt real for the first time in forever. A lover's embrace carried hope and a promise. They'd start anew in lockstep the way the stars intended, with an extra set of fingers and toes to usher through life at some point in the future.
But, for a moment, Terry and Patrice stood suspended in time, drunk off the taste of each other, ushering in the new year the only way they knew how.
Together.
———————————
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𐂂 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕- 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐
𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒇𝒘𝒃, 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆! 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔, 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆, 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐, 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈? 𝒊𝒅𝒌
𝚊/𝚗: 𝒉𝒆𝒚𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒇𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒍! @faithlia 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒗𝒔, 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍! 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒖 ♡︎
Reader|Chris|Nick|Julie(reader's friend)
This is getting out of hand. One of these days someone's gonna walk in and see us like that, hear us, or find out. He acts like he isn't the one making sure to tell me every time that this needs to stay between us. Calling me to his room when I'm over to kiss me, looking at me way too much when we're out with friends, slapping my ass when no one's watching.
It's not a bad thing, though, me and Chris get along pretty well and even when we need to keep things friendly it isn't that hard. What's hard is keeping this a secret when he makes no effort to keep his hands to himself.
-Your brothers are waiting for us upstairs. -I mumble against his lips, trying to push him away.
-Let them wait. -He trails kisses down my neck, hands firmly caging me in between him and the wall.
I tilt my head to the side, knowing it was wrong, but not strong enough to allow myself to make him stop. We hear footsteps getting closer, knocks on the door and an angry Matt yelling on the other side.
-We need to go. -I whisper, when I hear Matt climbing upstairs.
-I know, just one more. -He smirks down at me, leaning closer.
This time I shake my head and place my hands on his chest, giving him a warning look.
-We'll get caught if you keep doing shit like this, we need to go, Chris.
He rolls his eyes with a huff, taking one step back, but standing too close for me to walk away just yet.
-So what? Gonna act like you don't like the idea of getting caught? -He raises an eyebrow at me, suggestively.
That was the first time I lost my patience with Chris, forcing my way out and grabbing my purse, rushing to the door before he could stop me.
I didn't think much about it, days passed by and we were okay again, with no mentions of what happened. Until something similar happened again.
-Fuck, you look so hot right now.
He lifts his head to eye me up and down, setting his phone down on the bed and manspreading. I finish applying my gloss and take one step back, turning my body slightly to check if everything is in order.
-You're gonna drive me crazy tonight. -He shakes his head, using one hand to adjust his hat.
-Is that so? -I ask, with a smile, but not giving him too much attention since we were already kinda late and I wasn't ready.
It's one of our mutual friends' birthday party and it's supposed to be a big thing, he rented a mansion and a lot of influencers are going. I wanted to look nice, so I took my time.
-Mhm. -He hums in response, standing up and placing his hands on my waist.
-Can you help me with this? -I ask, handing him my necklace.
He wasn't even trying to hide how turned on he was, his bulge poking me as he pushes my hair to the side, leaning closer to prop kisses on my neck.
-Chris. -I warn him, doing my best to ignore it and put on my rings.
-Yeah? -He asks, smirking against my skin and nibbling it softly.
I sighed, knowing the necklace was the last thing for me to be ready and he was prolonging our time here on purpose.
-We're almost an hour late. -I let him know, giving him a look through the mirror.
He smiles at me, turning me around and kissing my cheek.
-Fine, but when this party's done you're all mine.
He finally helps me with the necklace and we rush to Matt's car, my mind repeating his words nonstop. It didn't exactly bother me to hear him saying that, he meant he wanted me for sex and that's all, what bothered me was seeing how he was acting in public.
Making sure to get me drinks, whenever we were separated he was looking at me from the other side of the room, whenever another guy tried to make a move he showed up and wrapped his arm around my waist.
-What the fuck is wrong with you tonight? Why are you acting like that? -I ask, pulling him to an empty room when he was already getting on my nerves.
-What do you mean? -He asks, crossing his arms and leaning against a wall.
-You're ruining my chances with any and every person who tries to talk to me, people are going to think we're together. -I mirror his action, crossing my arms as well, arching my eyebrows in confusion, my tone full of frustration.
He scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking away from me.
-We're not, I just don't think those guys could be good for you. -He shrugs, speaking in a calm voice, but firm.
-It's not like I'm going on a date with any of them, I just want to enjoy this fuckin' party. -I sit down on the bed behind me, frustrated.
-I'm right here, though. -He says, stepping closer slowly, letting his arms fall to his sides.
-Yeah, but we can't do this in here, we said only when it's just us, no public spaces, not getting caught. -I remind him of the rules we made.
Keeping eye contact while he leaned closer knowing I couldn't kiss him and let him ruin me was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I knew I'd regret it too much later, so I didn't give in.
-It's just us in here. -He points around, showing the empty room.
-Chris. -I sigh, hating this. It was too risky.
I'm fine with what we have, but he makes it so hard to keep it going. Not telling anyone was a mutual agreement, both of us have our reasons to not want people to know about our not-so-friendly case.
He nods, walking away without even looking at me again.
-Whatever, fuck whoever you want.
With that, I was alone in the room. It took me a while to process what happened and get out, trying to act normal throughout the rest of the night. I didn't even look at Chris anymore that day and he didn't talk to me when we were back.
It's not like I can be mad at him for too long and vice versa, but it did take longer for us to let it go and talk normally again. It wasn't the same though, since we don't share our feelings we keep the hurt and anger to ourselves and this kinda thing only leads to one thing... Explosion. When we can't hide what we feel, can't resolve the problems, can't share what's making us uncomfortable one day it just simply explodes and we find ourselves talking too much.
-Are you almost done? -Nick asks, not taking his eyes off his phone as he texts whoever.
-Yeah, just need my lipgloss.
I look around, not finding what I need, my brain giving me a hint of where it could be, already making me nervous.
-I think I left it in Chris's room last time I came over, I'll be right back. -I warn Nick, leaving his room and going downstairs.
I take deep breaths all the way down to Chris's room and knock on the door before stepping in, seeing him in his bed, also on his phone. He looks up at me, but doesn't look so interested, so I just make my way to his bathroom to find my lipgloss.
-You look nice. -He says, in a low voice not to startle me, leaning against the door.
-Thanks.
"Nice" is not something he usually compliments me with, which makes me feel weird. Being around him is not the same, but being alone with him is even worse.
I finally find my lipgloss and use his mirror to apply it, trying to end this moment as soon as possible. But, of course, Chris just can't stay quiet.
-Are you still mad at me? -He asks, getting closer and resting his chin on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me.
I sighed, knowing what he was doing and not sure if I liked it or hated it. I set my lipgloss on the countertop, looking at him through the mirror.
-I'm not mad at you, I just hate whatever this is. -I explain.
He frowns, turning me around and pushing my hair back, immediately leaning to press kisses on my neck.
-Sorry, just can't stand the thought of you with another guy. -He mumbles, nibbling my skin.
-You shouldn't mind, it's not like you want me to be yours. -I close my eyes, trying to keep my posture, but the smallest touch of him still drives me insane.
-You're already mine. -He smirks at me, finally pressing his lips against mine.
There goes all the effort to put on lipstick and gloss.
Chris kisses me hungrily, hands exploring my body as I tangle his hair and pull him closer. Everything in me screamed that this was a bad idea, especially since his last words. I'm getting out of here hurt again, I just know it, but I can't seem to stop it.
One of his hands slide under my shirt, squeezing my boobs and holding my waist possessively, the kiss became more urgent, almost needy, but we had to stop when we head knocks on Chris's door.
-Hey, are you guys ready?
Chris rolls his eyes, slowly stepping away.
-Yeah, I'm just fixing my hair, you guys can wait in the car. -I yell, turning around to the mirror.
As I fix my lips and hair the fast as I can, Chris keeps his gaze on me.
-Here, I need to clean this off you. -I say, seeing the lipgloss on his cheeks and chin.
He nodded, letting me do it without saying anything, and when we were finally ready to go, the bomb was thrown.
-Just to make it clear, you're mine, but we're not together.
I stop on my feet and turn around, confused, the smile that was on my face immediately fading.
-What?
-We're not a thing, I know Julie's gonna be there, don't go tell your friend about it or whatever, we're not anything serious.
I scoff, crossing my arms and tilting my head, looking at him in disbelief.
-You just said I'm yours, you're the one apparently wanting this to be more, I'm more than aware we're nothing.
He steps closer, a serious expression on his face, positioning his hands on my hips like he wasn't just being absurd.
-Not nothing, it's not like you can go around flirting with other people, we're just not together. -He says, like it was the most normal thing ever, passing through me and going to the car.
That's it. I just can't believe how insane he is. He thinks it's okay to say shit like that? To mess with me like that?
When I was about to leave his room, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I see two texts from Julie, one in our group chat with Matt (he made it to talk shit about his brothers with us one day and we never stop talking in it) and one in our private chat.
Julie: I FUCKIN' HATE MYSELF I WAS MEANT TO SEND IT TO YOU ONLY
Confused, I opened up the group chat, and saw the problem. It was a photo of her, well, her boobs to be more specific. It was normal for us to send some photos like this now and then when we were feeling more confident and wanted to just share it between girlies, but well, Matt's not exactly one of the girlies.
I send her a text back, rushing to the car and noticing Matt's pink cheeks, internally laughing at the situation and having an idea out of it.
We get to the mini golf, walking to find Julie on a bench waiting for us. She immediately pushed me with her to the bathroom, leaving the guys to find us a table and start a game.
-I can't even look at him! What if he hates me now? -She paces, desperate.
-He doesn't hate you, he'll be fine, you'll be fine.
-Shut up, I'm far away from fine, what if he thinks I'm ugly?
I lean against the wall, raising an eyebrow at her.
-Why do you care what he thinks?
She stopped pacing, looking at me, and with just one look I realized what she meant.
-You like Matt. -I point at her, giggling at my new discovery.
-Shh, no, I- yes, kinda. -She rolls her eyes, embarrassingly leaning against the counter.
That was the perfect opportunity for both of us.
-Okay, well, why don't we test it out to see if he likes you too? I can pretend to be flirting with you so we see his reactions.
It was not all about her and Matt, but she didn't need to know all the details.
She nodded, agreeing to my plan, and we got back to the table with the boys. I sit next to her, trying to act normal along the night and placing my hand on Julie's leg every chance I have. I got too close to her, looked at her lips like I wanted to kiss her and tried my best to act like it was all real flirting.
It didn't take too long to get a few reactions, not only from Matt, who looked like he was putting dots together and clenching his jaw when I got too close to Julie, but from Chris, who didn't even try to hide how mad he was.
The rest of the night passed by, the flirting continued until we dropped her home and got back to theirs, where I was supposed to stay the night in Nick's room.
Before I could follow Nick to his room, Chris's hands pulled me with him to his, closing his door behind us.
-What was that? -He asks, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at me.
-What was what? -I ask, playing dumb.
-Are you fucking kidding me?
His face had a mix of anger and disbelief. I give him a fake smile, tilting my head.
-I have no idea what you're talking about.
His jaw clenches and he kicks off his shoes, throwing his hat somewhere and pushing me to his bed, crawling on top of me.
-Flirting with Julie? Which part of "you're mine" you didn't get?
Seeing him all mad at me was making me feel things I shouldn't, and I hated myself for smirking up at him.
-The part I'm yours. -I tease, knowing I was playing with fire, but it was inevitable.
-Guess I need to remind you who you belong to.
His lips were immediately on mine, kissing me hungrily and eagerly. He pins my hands above my head, making sure I can't move, exploring my mouth with his tongue. He only pulled away to lower his kisses to my neck, nibbling my skin and keeping my arms pinned with only one hand so he could use the other to explore my body. He was about to lift my shirt so he could take it off me when we heard the door opening.
-Chris, she's supposed to stay the night with–
Nick's words were cut off by himself when he saw his brother on top of me, his eyes widening and jaw dropping in shock.
Chris quickly rolled to the other side of the bed, my heart beating so fast that I could barely believe what was happening. I knew this was going to happen someday, I just knew it, and yet I hated myself for being right on this.
-What the fuck? -Nick asks, looking between me and Chris.
I sigh, still a bit breathless due to what was going on just seconds ago, running my hands through my hair to fix the messy strands as I try to think of a plausible answer. And, for what seems to be the first time ever, I wish Chris would just start yapping until Nick forgot what he saw.
-How long has this been going on? -Nick asks again, still waiting for a response.
I looked at Chris, he was sitting by the end of the bed, jaw clenched. I told him a million times we were going to get caught if he kept doing shit like this when there were chances of other people barging in, and now he's mad like I haven't warned him.
-Can you just leave? -Chris finally says something, looking at his brother.
-Not until you explain what the fuck I just witnessed.
I sit upright on the bed, looking between them and noticing Chris didn't want to talk at all.
-A couple months. -I say, bending my knees and hugging my legs.
Chris looked at me like I was crazy, not expecting me to say something, but his eyes soon softened when he realized what was happening. We got caught, it's all over.
-Months?! -If Nick wasn't shocked already, he definitely is now.
Silence. I don't know why it was so hard to explain things, but I guess it's because there wasn't exactly something to explain, it was pretty much obvious.
-So are you guys secretly together or what?
Well, not so obvious. I never thought I'd hear this question and no response came to my mind, so I looked at Chris, who was already looking at me.
-Not exactly. -He says, in a low voice, almost like he was unsure of his own answer.
Another moment of silence, not even Nick had something to say.
-Can you just give us a second? -Chris asks, looking at Nick, who just nodded and immediately left the room.
As soon as the door closes again Chris moves closer to me on the bed.
-It's over, isn't it? -He asks, giving me a look that for some reason I knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Here are the rules: no talking about this to anyone, it needs to stay in between us, so we'll only do anything when no one's around, no getting caught, or it's over, anything else?" "Nope, I guess that's it"
-Yeah, it is. -I say, feeling strangely upset.
He nods, knowing it is for the best, taking me by surprise when he pulls me into a hug.
-I'm sorry, I haven't been too nice to you, I'll be a better friend now. -He whispers, making me smile.
As I walked upstairs to Nick's room I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. He apologized, he said he'd be better, and he hugged me. It felt like so long ago since we last hugged before that, truly hugged.
-Are you okay? -Nick asks as soon as I open the door.
-I'm okay. -I smile at him, sitting on his bed.
-Can you explain everything to me now, please? -He asks, really needing to know what he just saw, and I can't blame him, I'd be wanting information as well, so I tell him.
-Yeah, this can not happen again, one of you will get hurt, I can't believe you guys kept this for so long!
-I know, it won't. -I say, smiling at him.
But it did.
𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ✍︎
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Alive In Memory
Summary: Even after everything he endured, the memory of you kept him alive. Even if that meant losing you forever. (Leon S Kennedy x fem!reader)
Word Count: 2.5K
Notes: Two Leon's coming up in a row wowwwww. This was written earlier but completely just me forgetting to post since I had an event on tonight. A little OOC I believe but I'm trying to pull it back in. I'll hammer out the fanon aspects that swirl around and re-engage with the canon like I normally would, but I have SH2 now so resi replays are gonna need to chill for a bit. Much love!
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Leon often thought about September 30th, 1998.
It was the day his life changed forever, entering as the bright eyed, kind-spirited rookie and leaving with all of that stripped away from him. His hands became stained, and he'd seen more death than ever before, coating his skin with the ashes. The years passed and he was forced to recount the story over and over, like a toy responding when it's string was pulled. He'd speak of the horrors he saw that night, the tragedy that was Umbrella, the destruction that littered the city. Yet he also remembered the night for another reason, a reason that he kept tucked away in the corners of his memory, just for him.
It was the day he lost you.
You and Leon had been dating well before he left for Raccoon City. You had shown up to every cadet function he had; arm linked with his when you went to get drinks. You got along well with his friends, you patched him up when he got bruised from falling off obstacle courses, you came to pick him up some days and you'd go get a treat down by the pier. Even after all these years he could still see your face, all rugged up and cup of tea in your hands, crook of your knees thrown over the edge of the couch. You'd stay there while he studied, a soft presence behind him while he studied, head in his hands. You were there for him always, and that included when he graduated. He had sought your eyes out first thing, seeing you in the crowd wearing an ear-to-ear grin, eyes sparkling. His chest had puffed out in pride, beaming back down at you.
That was supposed to be the start of your new life together.
The life you had both decided to build. He was planning to get a job, start off as a desk cop rookie and move his way to detective. He'd save up all his money so he could get a plane ticket to fly to your folks’ place and ask to speak to your parents about something important. He was going to save up all of his bonuses so he could buy you a pretty ring, with enough left over that you could have anything you wanted at the wedding should you choose to say yes. He loved your parents, the way they treated him like a second son. He loved you. So that's why he had no hesitance in heading to Raccoon that night. The sooner he started, the sooner that dream could come true.
"I'll be back." he said softly, kissing you on the cheek as he got into the driver’s seat. "I'll head in and see what's happening. I'll phone you."
Despite his reassurance you still frown, fingers curling around the door so he can't close it. "Didn't they call and tell you not to come?" you ask, eyebrows furrowed. "In that case shouldn't you be staying here?"
He shakes his head. "They won't respond when I ask. I think it'll be faster if I go and ask myself. I'm sure it's just a mistake. The movers are still scheduled this week to pick us up and move us in. If I get time I might get the keys to the apartment early, and we can go see it together." he smiles softly. He can see the way your jaw clenches thoughts racing around in your mind. "Hey," he says, placing his hand over yours on the door. "I'll be fine. It's not like I'm a SWAT team or S.T.A.R.S." he chuckles.
"S.T.A.R.S?" you inquire, and he waves his hand.
"They're a special task force in the RPD. Way above me." he says. He sighs, seeing you're not convinced. "Honey, I swear I'll be okay."
You fiddle before sighing yourself. "How about I pack a bag too, I'll stay at a hotel while you’re working and figure it all out. That way there's somewhere for you to sleep too if they say you've got another start date. I don't want you to drive back tired."
"And miss your big presentation tomorrow?" he raises his eyebrows. "That's super important to you. You could get promoted for that, and you've been working hard on that for weeks." he says, recalling the sleepless nights you had sacrificed. "I'll be fine." he muttered, swinging his legs out the car and standing up briefly just so he could kiss you again. You melted under the contact, fingers loosening against the door.
"I'll be fine." he soothed you for the millionth time, offering you his boyish grin before sitting back in the car and buckling himself in. "Go get some rest."
"Love you." you say quietly, hand coming through the window to grip his shoulder as he turned the engine over. He smiles, hand coming off the wheel to cover yours and give it a squeeze.
"I love you too."
And then he was gone, pulling out of the driveway while your eyes chased his taillights into the darkness. Little did you know that he had kept his eyes trained on the tears staining your cheeks and the bridge of your nose, heart panging as he saw you on the rearview mirror shrink smaller and smaller.
No, he hadn't lost you, you had lost him.
he had survived Raccoon with the desperateness to go back to you, your parents, his family. He cursed himself constantly. He shouldn’t have come, he should have listened to you, he should have thought about it a bit more. Yet if he could go back, he'd make the same mistake again and again, unable to stop the thoughts that there could be someone in trouble if he had never come. He just thanked every god above that he hadn't caved when you had asked to come with, his heart settling knowing that you were safe (albeit worried) back in your home. When he had finally gotten out of Raccoon, all he wanted was a cold shower and to go back to your shared place. To take a break and scrub his brain of everything he had seen. His hands shook when he wiped his face of the grime, uniform biting into his skin and making him feel like he was suffocating.
he wondered if you would be angry at him when he told you he wanted to quit the force after a single day.
Yet he never got a chance.
They had been intercepted almost immediately after the city was destroyed. At first he felt relief, he thought he had been rescued. That it would all be over soon, and you were closer than ever. However, it turned out to be quite the opposite. He was locked in a room with some agents for the better half of a day, wearing him down till he agreed to work with them. he was unable to return to his old life, everyone and everything that had made him who he weas before Raccoon.
He could no longer go to you.
They redacted his files, pulled his documents and ID. He sat there with dull eyes seeing his digital footprint be wiped from the map, all the photos of you together being deleted off his media before his account was shut all together. He had managed to keep that flame of himself alive all through the city ordeal, but with each deleted image it flickered more and more until eventually, it was extinguished with a defeated breath.
They had put him almost immediately in the army training, all of their communication monitored. Every day he still thought of you, writing you letters you'd never get. He knew they were burning them, the way he'd drop it in the collection box for soldiers knowing that would be the lasty time he saw them. He liked to imagine differently, that instead of being sent to the burner they made their way back to you. You would know that he was still alive and hadn’t been caught in the explosion. That he loved you, and he wished more than anything that he could go home. He imagined the letters decorating your mantle or filling up in a shoebox while you waited for him to come home, instead of his handwriting curling with tongues of flame until his words never existed.
As the years past they broke him in more and more, until he was an agent with the DSO, no longer a flight risk and allowed to be unclipped from his leash. It was nearly a year after he had gone to Spain and rescued Ashley that he found himself in a bar in some big city, hunched over the whisky he knocked back. He kept himself holed up in the corner, obscured in the shadows and scowling at anyone that came too close, leaving the booth free to himself.
He spent a lot of nights like this now, fiddling with the callouses on his fingertips while he counted the grains in the wood table. Until a laugh makes him pause, head rising. With the chiming of the bar door, a group of women all walk in. He watches as they settle at a reserved table near the bar, and when the sea of dresses part his heart stops in his chest.
It was you. Older and more mature, but you nonetheless. It didn’t matter that you had worn your hair differently, he could still point out the way it framed your face so nicely, eyes the same sparkling colour he remembered. The lines of your face, the arch of your nose, the dip of your lips, he had committed all of it to memory in those long nights alone. He studied your face like a saint, the image permanently etched in his mind’s eye.
His fingers twitched with the urge to go to you, to see if you remembered him. If you could still tell it was him under all the scars and bruises, and the way his lips always sat in a frown now. If you could still see that his eyes were the same shade as always, even if they had dulled a little. If you would still tell his hands were the same when they interlocked with yours, even if they were calloused and rough now. He pushes his drink to the side, standing up slightly before he gets a look at what you are wearing and slowly lowers himself back down.
The hope that was in his chest sputters out, and he bites back the bitter taste of reality. Of course, just because his life before Raccoon got frozen, doesn't mean that yours was. To you, he had died in a horrific incident and was a number among the thousands of deaths. You still had to dry your tears and go to work the next day and the next and the next, knowing he wasn't going to be coming home. You had pursued your career undoubtedly, winding up in the big city, and now you were in this bar seven years later wearing a white sash printed 'BRIDE' in gold lettering. He calmed the shake in his hands with a trained breath, hanging his head.
He was happy for you. He was happy, knowing that him leaving hadn't destroyed your life. The question of what you were doing now, that he thought about every single night, was finally answered. You were alive. you were happy. You were getting married, just like he had always wanted to.
He slips a hand into his shirt, fingers toying with the worn silver chain. He tugs it to look at the silver engagement band lying there. It had always been fruitless, and honestly quite selfish of him. However, Leon couldn't find it in his to scold his past self, still a lovesick puppy who had been kicked in the ribs by life. He couldn't scold the young man who had taken a walk down the main street the day he got his very first pay check working as an agent. Sure, there were still a few eyes on him, he could see them trailing him, but he couldn’t care less. The pay was good, exceptionally so, which allowed him to push open the glass doors of the jewellers and pick out a ring. It was your favourite stone and your favourite cut, things he had asked your parents before he had left. he knew it wouldn't ever reach you, but it soothed the young man at night when he was restless and tormented by nightmares.
He rolled it between his thumb and forefinger, watching at how it still had a spark of light despite how worn it had become from missions and late nights alike. He tucked it back inside, closing his eyes to recall the face of you like he remembered, looking at him as he shut that car door.
He never should have left.
he then opened them and looked up, taking a mental snapshot of what you looked like now, the way you smiled and the way you laughed.
he needed to leave.
Silently he slips from the bar, a few bills left under his half-drunk glass. He casts one last glance at you, smiling softly. He has to pry the fingers of his rookie self off of his chest, his young love making his heart beat faster. Eventually the internal war ends, the young cop backing off and slipping back into the corner of his mind that Leon had shoved him into. When your eyes meet, he's already leaving, controlling the clench in his fists.
You were happy. You were safe now.
Your girlfriends are giggling and drinking around you, chatting with each other as you celebrate your bachelorette. The night has been fun, attention focused wholly on your future. However, the ringing of the bar bell manages to steal your attention for a moment, making you look up from your drink. You catch the eye of a man as he walks out the door, a jolt of lightning running down your spine and hair raising on your arms. His eyes that were so deeply familiar yet foreign to you, then they were gone. You see a glimmer in the eyes of a stranger that leaves the bar. It might’ve just been the alcohol or melancholic speeches your entourage has been reciting all night, recalling the ‘good old days’. That’s what logic dictated to you.
But when you listened to your heart for a split second, a barely tangible moment, you saw a glimpse of a young police academy graduate you knew years ago, a glimmer of a young boy you once loved but now struggled to recall the name of.
#messenger of babel#angstober 2024#angstober24#fanfic#angstober#angst#leon s kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon x reader#resident evil 2#leon s kennedy#leon resident evil#leon scott kennedy#leon s kennedy x you#re2 leon#resident evil#re2#re2 remake#resident evil 2 remake#re2make#leon x reader angst#leon kennedy angst#leon kennedy fanfic#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you
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Friendly Set-Up – Glen Powell
"Plleeeeeaaaassseeee?"
"Pass."
"Pretty please?"
"Nope."
"He's a great kisser!"
"How would you know?"
I smirked as Sarah's mouth opened and closed. "I've. . . heard from his. . . costars."
"All the more reason not to go out with him," I chuckled as I walked past her and into the kitchen.
"But Y/N," she whined as she followed me. "Just a coffee date. That's all I'm asking for. He was talking to me and the other girls about needing a woman in his life."
"Why would he. . . Actually, I don't care." I shook my head as I started making dinner.
"He told us that he missed taking care of a girl," she continued anyway. "He misses spoiling a girl, calling a girl during his lunch break, and picking up dinner on his way home to her."
"That's very sweet," I sighed, "but I'm not ready for another relationship."
"I know that Jason broke your heart," she said, running over to me. "But Glen is the exact opposite of him. He's just what you need! A pallet cleanser!"
"Sarah, stop!" I snapped a little too harshly at her. "I don't want to go on a date with the actor you put makeup on every morning, okay? I just want to be left alone so I can forget about Jason."
I didn't care that the ingredients were all over the counter. I turned and walked away, grabbed my keys, and got in my car. I didn't have to think about where I wanted to go.
I walked into the bar, sat down at my usual spot, and ordered my usual drink. I ran my fingers through my hair and cursed the tears that begged to fall.
Jason and I dated for almost two years. Over the years, he's gotten a lot less romantic. Finally, I made the mistake of making a small comment about marriage and he freaked out. He left and I got a text the next day saying that we should take a break.
As that bartender put my drink in front of me, I thought about how Sarah described Glen. He wanted a girl in his life. He wanted someone he could spoil. I smiled sadly when I realized it had been a long time since I felt like I was being spoiled by someone.
I shook my head, forcing myself to stop thinking about "what if". Jason broke up with me a week and a half ago. I needed more time to get over it.
"Son of a. . ." I grumbled when I saw my friends running into the bar. "Hi, girls."
"Hi, Y/N," Angela said a little too sweetly.
"I don't want to. . ."
"Would you please go out with him?" Sarah cut me off.
"Girls," I sighed.
"Come on, Y/N," she whined. "He's funny. He's attractive. He's successful. He's the total package."
"If he's the total package, why is he still single?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"He's an actor," Angela shrugged.
"And he can get any girl he wants," I sighed, "so why would he want to go out with me?"
"Oh sweetie," Kelly sighed. "You're amazing. We all instantly thought of you when Glen told us about how he wanted a new girl in his life."
"Why wouldn't he like you?" Sarah asked.
"He'd be lucky to have you," Angela added.
"You're too good for him," Maggie chuckled.
"Look," I cut the girls off, "I just broke up with Jason. I need some time before jumping into a new relationship. Thank you for thinking I'm good enough for a famous actor, but I'm gonna pass."
* * * * *
After A LOT of badgering from the girls, I finally agreed to meet Glen. I told them not to get their hopes up. I was only going and having coffee with the guy to get them to stop begging me. After trying not to overthink my sundress, I headed to the coffee shop that was close to my work and the office building where his current movie was filming.
I gave myself a slight pep talk before getting out of my car. I walked into the coffee shop, my nerves jumping all over. As I looked around the shop, I kept wondering why I agreed to meet a complete stranger. Suddenly, my eyes landed on a guy who looked exactly like my friends described. He noticed me and sent me a shy smile. I took a shaky breath before walking over to him.
"Are you Glen?" I asked.
"Yeah," he smiled. "Yeah, I am."
"I'm Y/N, Sarah, Maggie, Angela, and Kelly's friend," I introduced myself. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw him relax. "You don't have to look so relieved."
"Sorry," he chuckled. "Our friends talked you up so much that I wasn't sure if you were real."
"I'm very real," I shrugged with a small giggle. "They probably lied about me though."
"I doubt that," he said, slightly looking me up and down. He looked back up at me and smiled. "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
"I'd like that," I smiled.
He turned and gestured toward the counter. When I walked by him, he gently put his hand on my lower back. I tried to force the butterflies in my stomach to go away as we went and ordered our coffee.
"Oh my gosh," the seventeen-year-old barista giggled. "You're. . . You're Glen Powell!"
Glen looked at me with a blush on his face and cleared his throat. The girl continued to fangirl, "I am such a huge fan. I love you."
"Thank you," he said politely. "That's very sweet of you."
An older man behind the counter cleared his throat, sending his employee a "manager glare".
"Sorry," she cleared her throat. "What can I get you?"
Glen looked at me and gestured for me to order first. I smiled before turning toward the still-excited teenager. "Can I get a caramel latte?"
"Of course," she smiled. Her face turned pink as she turned toward Glen. "And you?"
"Just an iced coffee for me," he nodded. I started to pull out my wallet but he quickly grabbed his wallet and handed his card to the barista. She giggled as she took his card.
She rang us up and handed Glen his card back. "We'll call your name when they're ready," she giggled. I saw the look on his face slightly shift as he looked around the coffee shop.
"Actually," I jumped in, "can you call my name? We're on a first date and don't want to draw too much attention."
"Of course," the girl said, putting her hand to her hard. "That's so sweet. What's your name?"
"Y/N."
"Great. They'll be right out."
I followed Glen to the corner table, out of sight of the windows and front counter. We sat down and there was an instant awkward tension between us.
"This is. . ." He said slowly.
"Awkward," I finished for him.
"Exactly," he chuckled. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I waved off. "Going on a date that your friends bugged you until you said yes to go on is awkward."
"They bugged you?" He asked, his eyes slightly sinking.
"It's nothing against you," I said quickly. "I just. . . I wasn't sure I wanted to get back into dating."
"Back?" Glen asked.
"Coffees for Y/N?" The barista called. Glen looked at me and hesitated before getting up and getting our coffees. I pulled my hands into my lap and nervously played with my fingers.
"Here you go."
"Thank you," I said, my voice soft.
"Y/N," Glen said after a short beat of silence, "what did you mean earlier when you said you weren't sure if you wanted to get back into dating?"
"It's. . . not something I should bring up on our first date," I said.
"If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."
I looked up to see Glen smiling gently at me. "I just broke up with my boyfriend," I admitted.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking at me sadly.
"Well, technically," I cleared my throat, "he broke up with me. After two years. All because I made a small hypothetical about marriage."
"He what?" Glen asked, slightly surprised. "What an idiot. For what it's worth, you dodged a bullet. He's missing out on an amazing girl."
I smiled weakly at his comment. "You met me like five minutes ago," I chuckled.
"Doesn't matter," he shrugged. "I still think you're amazing."
I looked down at my hands wrapped around my coffee mainly to hide my blush.
"You told me yours," Glen said, making me look up at him. "It's only fair that I tell you my breakup story."
"You don't have to," I stuttered.
"It's only fair," he said with a small smirk. "I was dating an old costar. It got to the point where I was putting in more effort than her. We spent the entire last two months apart. Whenever I called, she didn't answer. And she never called."
"Did you break up with her?" I asked before I could think about it.
"I did," he nodded. He added, "After pictures from her movie leaked of her making out with her costar on the beach."
"I'm sorry," I said. "That's terrible. You didn't deserve her."
"You met me like five minutes ago," he said, instantly going back to his earlier self.
"Doesn't matter," I shrugged with a smile on my face.
For the next two hours, Glen and I sat and talked. We talked about our jobs, our family, our crazy friends. The more we talked, the more I started to fall for this guy. Sarah was right. He was extremely sweet. He maintained eye contact the entire conversation and seemed like he was hanging on my every word.
I was explaining my latest project at work when his phone started ringing. By the sigh that left his lips, I could tell that he had a theory for who was calling him and interrupting our date.
"I'm sorry," Glenn said, his smile sinking when he looked up from his phone. "It's my manager."
"Take it," I said. "I don't mind."
"But Y/N," he stuttered.
"It's okay," I said with a small laugh. "Answer your phone, Glen."
"I'm sorry," he whispered before answering his phone. "Hey, Mike."
I busied myself as he listened to his manager.
"What?" He asked, slightly turning away from me. I looked at my hands wrapped around my coffee. "Wait, right now? Mike, I'm kind of. . . I know that but. . . Fine. I'm on my way."
"You have to go?" I asked, unable to stop my voice from dropping.
"I'm really sorry, Y/N," he said, instantly turning back to me. "I completely forgot I have an interview in two hours."
"I'm going to have to get used to sharing you with the rest of the world, aren't I?" I fake pouted, making him laugh.
"Oh, please," he smirked. "My girl never has to share me."
As we stood up, Glen grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest. "I really enjoyed getting to know you, Y/N."
"I really enjoyed getting to know you, Glen," I smiled. My breath got caught in my throat when Glen's eyes dropped to my lips. Before I could wonder whether or not he was going to go for it, he went for it.
Glen leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I gently grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. When we broke the kiss, we both had matching smiles.
"Does this mean you'd accept the offer to a second date if I asked?" His voice soft.
"If you asked."
* * * * *
After our date, each of the girls called and begged me to go to brunch so I could tell them all about it. I fixed my dress as I got out of my car and headed into the restaurant. The second I walked to our table, my friends all jumped up and started bombarding me with questions.
"How was it?"
"Did he buy your coffee?"
"Did he pull out your chair?"
"Did he hold your hand?"
"Did you guys talk for hours?"
"Did he ask you out again?"
"Did he kiss you?"
"Why aren't you answering our questions?"
"Because neither one of you has stopped to breathe," I chuckled.
"Okay," Sarah said in her bossy tone. "Enough questions. Just tell us how it went."
"It was fine," I shrugged.
"Fine?!" They all screamed in sync.
"Just fine?"
"Come on."
"You gotta give us more than that."
"Sorry," I said, standing up, catching all of them off-guard.
"Where are you going?" Sarah pouted.
"Hey, gorgeous."
The girls gasped as Glen walked up, wrapped his arm around my waist, and kissed my cheek. "You ready for lunch?"
"Absolutely," I smiled at him. I looked back at my friends and saw all of them smiling like crazy people.
"You girls don't mind me stealing Y/N away from you, do you?" Glen asked the girls.
"Of course not!" Sarah said loudly. "Take her for the rest of the day."
"Subtle," I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. Glen just laughed as he led us out of the restaurant. When we got to his car, he stopped and pulled me into his chest.
"You know," he whispered, "when I first told the girls I wanted a new girl in my life, I never thought I'd actually meet a girl I could see spending the rest of my life with."
"The rest of your. . ."
"I know this is crazy fast," he said quickly, "especially since we've only been on one date. . ."
"We texted until like 2 am," I said quickly trying to reassure him.
"True," he smiled. "As I was saying, I really like you, Y/N. And I think that we have something here."
"I think so, too," I whispered. With a smile on his face, he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck as our lips moved in sync.
We didn't care that our friends were watching us from the restaurant window with proud smirks on their faces. Glen broke the kiss but didn't let me go.
"Y/N," he whispered. "I know you're still getting over Jason. But I'd like to help you with that."
"I don't want to use you."
"You wouldn't be using me," he said, shaking his head. "I'd just be helping you through the breakup."
I bit my lip, debating if I really wanted to go for it. "Fine," I gave in. I quickly added, "But only if you allow me to help you through your breakup."
"It's a deal."
#glen powell#glen powell fanfic#glen powell imagines#glen po#set it up#twisters#hangman#anyone but you
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So writing is really really hard and my friend adviced me to just give you guys my ideas instead of writing a big fic for it and Im gonna do that!
And gonna at the little bit of writing I did at the end!
Royal Au Narilamb's first intimate night together
-The kisses to give Lambert the crowns power brings them intimately closer as rime goes by, Lambert tries to initiate it more, make it last longer and Narinder never turns them down or pushes them away.
-Lambert is clearly in love but denies it
-Because of pent of emotions the intimate kissings buil up, Narinder goes to a brothel to wind down instead of risking it with Lambert. He thinks that it's unfair of him to put them in this whole situation in the first place.
-Lambert sees Narinder getting into the brothel and gets extremely jealous and angry about it
-Days pass, Lambert goes back to the land that was given to them to govern and ignores Kings letters
-Narinder visits Lambert in an angry fit, demands the reason why they would ignore a kings letter and threatens that he could send them to jail for it
-They get angry again but they don't have any crown power left in them because they used it too much after seeing Narinder in the brothel so they feel weak
-Narinder kisses them and gives them power only a little bit to keep them up and expects them to explain their situation after feeling better
-He stays in their place? Mansion? -Lambert is not rich idk what to call it, a big place where they govern their land- and later Lambert visits Narinder at night to finally confront him about it
-Lambert confesses that they were jealous and asks him why he would go to a brothel when they were right in front of him. Cornering him on the couch he was sitting in. He says "I thought you didn't enjoy our...times...together. Since you even said it scared you of what would happen if we didn't do it."
So Lambert screams with their face completely red. "Argh are you really going to make me say it?! I'm jealous ok?! You go and sleep with others and I... Do you know how hard it is to keep myself in check while kissing yo-"
-Narinder accepts the invitation. Lambert realises how much Narinder has been holding back as he hungrily kisses them, the two stumble to the guest bed and he rips apart Lambert's top.
-But just before they can fully get into it, the two half naked, someone knocks on the door and tells that Heket is on the move and their plan to take her down needs to start
-Narinder hesitates but after hearing Heket's name, he leaves Lambert
-Plot with heket happens and she dies but Lambert is injured
-Narinder does his best to heal them after they are brought back to his castle, to his room, they share an intimate moment where Narinder traces Lambert's fresh and old scars while healing them and in that intimate, alone moment Lambert asks if they are allowed to continue from where they left off
-and boom. They share a soft, passionate and gentle night together.
SO YEA. Writing all of this would kill me so you guys have to wait for it to be turned into the comic!
Here is what I have written so far. I dont think I will continue but yea! Have at thee!
●
A kiss. It was supposed to be simple.
Lambert just needed to kiss Narinder somewhat often so that the crowns powers inside them wouldn't turn them into a crazy blood thirsty maniac.
When such a thing was on the line, Lambert thought it would be easy. A simple kiss with a King they were active betraying, actively giving out information to his oldest sibling about what he was doing.
To be fair, Narinder was attractive... extremely. To Lambert, at the very least.
And yes their heart fluttered everytime they saw him, everytime he touched them, everytime they stared into his eyes.
Everytime they kissed him. But it didn't mean anything.
The kisses started out simple enough even though it was hard for them to initiate it first because Narinder refused to "force himself" on them due to the nature of their positions. It almost felt like he felt bad about putting them in this situation.
It didn't seem like that when he was constantly sending them out to deadly missions though...
But still, kissing on the lips, although it was to transfer power solely, was an intimate gesture. No body could fault Lambert for accidentaly prolonging it for just a few more second, just a few more pecks.
Aside from the kiss, the power also tasted sweet so it was impossible for them to not seek it out. It wasn't their fault! And it certainly wasn't because they had feelings for him. No way! It was the nature of the kiss, doing something like that with any random person would make you act like this if you did it too much! Lambert was sure.
And it's not like he couldn't stop them either. He could push them away like how he did at the start when he thought they had enough. But as time passed, he stopped doing it. Maybe he didn't care anymore or maybe...
What confused Lambert the most was the anger they were feeling that day. When they saw him walk into a brothel.
They thought,
"Maybe he is here to gather information. Yea, that must be it. Brothels are full of pent up people willing to spill out all of their problems after all."
So they hid and waited outside.
It...took some time...
But when he walked into the balcony, half naked, hair messy with a smoke in his hand, it felt like a punch to the gut. Stronger than any punch they had ever felt.
It was the second time in Lambert's life that they felt this kind of anger. So hot their thoughts melted together. So hard their teeth must have hurt from the pressure.
But this time they knew not to stay and let their anger do something they could never take back again.
So they left.
Walked into a forest and screamed their lungs out.
And they cried.
They were confused. Why were they feeling like this?
They needed to get these feelings out. OUT.
They let excessive amounts of the power they were given out in a burst. It looked like a curse Narinder had shown them once. Crushing force that broke everything around them.
The leaves and dirt of the forest were tossed around in chaos as the rocks and trees were torn to shreads.
Their mind started to clear up when their breathing sounded less like a dying animal.
His lovely unpleasant voice rang in their ear 'You need to learn how to control your anger.'
They broke the rock in front of them into pieces.
.
.
.
When they came back to their King given land, it was Ruri who greeted them.
"L-lambert! What happened to you?!" Was the only thing they listened to. They didn't answer and just let her tend to their wounds.
.
.
.
It had been days since their discovery of Narinder's... whatever it was and their outburst to it.
They decided that tending to their people and their needs was a better use of their time instead of constantly feeling a mixure of intense feelings. They had land they controlled now and people to take care of. Something they weren't really good at.
Thankfully Ratau was here to help them.
"This isn't how you should respond to this request Lambert." Ratau sighed for the fifth time that day and handed back the letter to Lambert.
Lambert grunted.
Ok maybe working wasn't the best idea to get rid of their already existing negative feelings.
---
#cotl#cult of the lamb#aychama#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#narilamb#cotl royal au#i be writing#spoilers for the royal au lo
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(🎞️) ... hit the road docu.<> speed isn't all that matters
masterlist | cyana's masterlist
word count: 1.6k TW: slightlycold!wonwoo, tiny sliver of angst (we're getting there!), overworking, passing out, FLUFF, comfort italics are interview moments cut between other scenes a/n: second htr! we're starting that landslide into the angst (ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ ) they are so cute in this omgomgomg
Wonwoo sat awkwardly on the pedestal, doing his best to balance while still posing for the camera.
"We had a lot of photoshoots and interviews while touring in Japan." Wonwoo explained to the camera. "Feels like we were posing for photos everywhere."
Wonwoo stood up once the photographer had finished his series of shots. He was tired and couldn't wait to get back to the hotel.
"Wait a moment, Wonwoo." Their manager called out to stop him. "They want a couple shots of you and Cyana."
Wonwoo sighed, nodding as he reluctantly returned to his seat. Cyana walked over, bowing politely to the staff. She stood awkwardly next to Wonwoo, a clear gap between them as she waited for instructions.
"Cyana-yah, can you stand behind Wonwoo?" Their translator smiled kindly as she directed the girl. "Wrap your arms around his shoulders, yes- that's good."
Wonwoo glanced up at the girl, looking away when their eyes met. He couldn't help but stiffen up as they both turned towards the camera. "I thought you went home with the others." He mumbled out of the corner of his mouth, smiling as the photographer clicked away. Most of the members had already finished their photoshoots and gone home.
Cyana's lips quirked down into a suppressed frown. "I stayed back. The car could only take four of us and Seungkwan looked dead on his feet."
"Look this way!" The photographer yelled, cutting off whatever had been Wonwoo's reply.
"Schedules forced Wonwoo to actually talk to me." Cyana couldn't help but grin despite the topic. "It was fun, I guess."
"I've always been a very introverted person." Wonwoo said to the camera, wringing his hands nervously. "I enjoy having time to myself."
Cyana smiled when the interviewer finished talking. "Yeah.. Wonwoo's always been a bit of an enigma to me. Like a mystery I just can't figure out."
Cyana's sitting with Dino in their hotel room, busy eating the lunch they had grabbed from the staff room. They're both mid-bite when the door opens.
"Nana~" Seungkwan walked in, fixing his hat. He was dressed and ready to go out. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Spotting the camera, he waves. "Oh- Hi~ We're going to Super Junior's concert."
Cyana shook her head, still chewing. "It's okay." She managed to say once swallowing. "I think I'm going to stay in today."
Seungkwan nodded, ruffling both her and Dino's hair before leaving. Neither maknae gave any indication they had even noticed the action, continuing to enjoy their meal.
"I'm gonna go to the sauna with Vernon later." Dino told Cyana through muffled chewing. "Do you want to come?"
Cyana made a face. "To the sauna?" She mimed gagging. "No thanks, Chan."
Dino made a face back. "I keep forgetting there are things you can't do that other members can." He smiled when she frowned. "I guess going to the sauna would be a little weird."
"I guess??" Cyana questioned, amazed at his lack of modesty. "A little??"
Dino shrugged. "You're a bro, bro."
"Where on earth did you learn that-" Cyana asked, though she already knew the answer. Vernon. Duh.
Jun and Cyana lazed in bed, Cyana watching Jun's phone from next to him. The girl was half-asleep, eyelids drooping and head lulling against the wall.
Wonwoo walked in, fresh from a shower, double taking when he saw Cyana. Gears turning in his head, he reluctantly slid into his own bed, throwing his blanket over himself.
"What did you do today, Wonwoo?" Jun asked, eyes still focused on the phone. He looked over at Wonwoo before checking on Cyana, smiling to himself when he saw her tired expression.
"I played tennis." Wonwoo answered. "Worked out, went swimming, then ate with the others- what did you guys eat?" He subconsciously said guys, including Cyana into the question. She perked up from Jun's side, suddenly awake.
"I ate with Donghae and Eunhyuk hyung after their concert." Jun replied, nudging Cyana. "What about you?"
"I ate with Dino."
Both boys frowned. "I thought that was your lunch." Jun said, both confused and worried. "You didn't have anything for dinner?"
Cyana paused. "I had some snacks. Not that hungry, since I didn't do much today." She shrugged. "I ate a lot for lunch anyways." Redirecting the topic, she turned to Jun. "Was the concert fun?"
Jun nodded. "It was so much fun." Sitting up straighter, he placed down his phone, fully engaged now. "They speak Japanese so well."
Wonwoo hummed. "We should learn to do that."
"Jeonghan and Hoshi are both great." Cyana sighed. "I think if I have one more language in my head I might combust."
Her quip brought both boys to laughter. "It's okay." Wonwoo said quietly, once the laughter died down. "You can just speak a lot for our North American tours."
"I always had a kind of weak presence, and I never fit in well as a kid." Wonwoo told the camera. "But with Seventeen I didn't get that feeling. They made me feel welcomed, always made me shine without needing to." He paused for a moment, thinking. "They're very important to me- because of that."
"Mingyu once told me Wonwoo cared deeply about his place in the group - he said it might sound selfish but I don't think so." Cyana's eyes were a little sad as she looked at the interviewer. "Mingyu said Wonwoo only has Seventeen. I guess he was just trying to tell me Wonwoo's very protective over the people he loves - and that was the only reason why it felt like he didn't like me." Cyana shrugged. "It made me hate him less."
"Ah. Mingyu told her that?" Wonwoo grimaced once hearing what the interviewer told him about Cyana's interview before him. "I guess he's right. I didn't want Seventeen to break apart because of her." He looked away, embarrassed. "They were my first friends. I only have them."
"What do you mean Dino's ill?"
Cyana stared at a worried Hoshi. "Is it serious?" She asked, verging on panic. It felt like the boys were dropping like flies around her - what with Jeonghan's body decay, DK's sore throat, Seungkwan's ankle, Seungcheol's unstable mind and now Dino.
"He's getting it checked." Hoshi told her, not wanting to worry her further with the details. "You won't do anything - panicking like that."
Cyana took a few breaths, knowing he was right. "You're right. Okay." She let out a deep breath. "He'll be okay."
"On in 3 minutes!" A staff member called from the door.
She stood up, following everyone as they shuffled out towards the stage. Wonwoo stumbled a few paces in front of her, making her look his way.
"You good?" She whispered, speeding up to stand beside him.
He only gave her a curt nod, refusing to look at her and instead focusing on the lift in front of them. They could both hear the cheers from here.
"Go, go!" A staff rushes them both onto the lift before either of them could break the silence. Cyana could only glance at him again as they were lifted up onstage.
She thought she was mistaken when she saw him go down. The area behind the stage was dimly lit, and there was a commotion as the Hiphop Unit finished their stage and came down to switch with the Performance Unit. Cyana thought maybe her eyes were acting up, when she saw Wonwoo run down the stairs, take a few steps and drop.
Staff members were on him in an instant. Cyana was shoved aside as they rushed to lift him, moving him out the walkway and onto a table- it's sole purpose was to serve as a bed in case this very thing happened.
She felt like her limbs were falling her, leaving her frozen in place.
"Go." Mingyu mouthed the words at her, pointing at Wonwoo. He pointed next at the tent, gesturing that he needed to get his mic checked. "Stay with him." He pointed again at Wonwoo.
Cyana willed her legs to move, shuffling over to Wonwoo's side. The crowd of staff had dispersed, leaving him alone with two staff members- one with a fan and one with an oxygen tank.
She took the oxygen tank from one of them and told them she could do it instead.
"Wonwoo." She muttered, lifting the oxygen tank and placing it gently in front of his mouth. His chest rose dangerously fast as he tried to catch his breath. "Breathe." She found only English in her mind as she tried not to panic. "Please breathe."
His eyes darted around until they landed on her face. Eyebrows furrowing slightly, he raised a hand and pushed the oxygen tank weakly away from his face, trying to speak. "What- what's going on." He panted out, his speech slightly slurred.
Cyana felt her heart crack. "Don't try to talk." She reprimanded him, gently pushing him back down to rest. "You passed out."
If Wonwoo could breathe, he would've snapped at her to leave him alone, that he could take care of himself. He couldn't. Instead, he closed his eyes, allowing her to take care of him. Just this once.
"She was gentle with me." Wonwoo recalled. "Even though I hadn't been kind to her."
"Breathe." She mumbled again, mindlessly repeating it as her brain turned numb from everything going on. She stayed next to him, raising the oxygen tank to his lips whenever his lungs failed to do the job. "It's okay."
"She stayed throughout the whole thing." Wonwoo looked sheepishly at the camera. "I don't think I even said 'thank you.' We just returned on stage."
Cyana shrugged at the interviewer's question. "He didn't need to say anything. Sometimes words fail us - his eyes said enough."
#seventeen ot13#seventeen imagines#svt#svt imagines#svt fluff#seventeen#seventeen 14th member#idol oc#idolverse#idol fic#female idol#kpop oc#kpop imagines#kpop addition#kpop#seventeen fic#seventeen fanfic#svt carat#svt fanfic#svt fic#svt x oc#cyanawritings
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haii could i please order a pizza with sicillian crust with red sauce, and jalapenos, chicken, and tomatoes and my drinks are mtn dew(dom), beer and diet coke. Served by Max Verstappen please!!
Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
sicillian crust dating red sauce rough sex jalapenos "always such a fucking brat" chicken "awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" tomatoes "do you enjoy pissing me off?" mt dew dom (reader) beer edging diet cock recording kink served by Max Verstappen
Max Verstappen x Dom reader
AN: I am so pleased with how busy the Pizzeria has been! I work at night today so I'm gonna get a couple fics more pizzas done before I have to go in.
TW - edging, sub max, dom reader, begging, unprotected sex, filming, taunting
WC 2100+
Y/N POV
I've been watching Max from the other side of the bar for the past 15 minutes while he talks to Checo about something having forgotten about the drink he was supposed to be getting me.
Another 5 minutes pass before Max is finally waving the bartender down to orders drinks and another 3 minutes before I watch Max approaching with his puppy smile trying to sweeten me up once he saw the cold stare I was giving him.
"Max it's been almost half an hour since you told me 'I'll be right back just gonna get your drink' right back my ass" I saw while rolling my eyes and talking the drink he was offering me.
"M'sorry, Checo was talking about the car," Max tells me sheepishly. I could tell he was sorry so I decided to brush it off and pull him to my side before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
"It's fine, just stay on task next time," I tell him softly whispering into his ear.
I don't know how or when it happened but there had been a shift in max and I's relationship. At one point in time, Max was a young curious boy doing any and everything he could to dominate me and 'keep me in check' but as the years progressed there was a switch and he was no longer the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Most people just assumed Max was whipped but the very few who actually knew about the dynamic just understood it. To them it all made sense, on track, Max was a dominant force that instilled fear in his fellow drivers but off the track, he just needed an outlet to be taken care of.
"I promise," Max whispers before placing a kiss on my lips.
"Love you," he says when he pulls back. "Love you too"
As the night progressed Max had done really well about doing what he's asked but then Lando showed up and I knew instantly I was gonna lose him in the crowd.
I trust Max and I have no issues with him going off but being left at a table by myself surrounded by people I had never met was making me grow more anxious than I would like to admit.
It was about an hour later when I finally saw Max approaching the table with a dopey smile across his face letting me know he had definitely had another drink or two.
"Hi baby," Max says while plopping down right next to me not picking up on the annoyance radiating off of me.
"Do you enjoy pissing me off?" I ask back watching as the smile on Max's face instantly falls.
"Wha- huh? Wait, what did I do?" Max stutters, struggling to try and figure out what to say.
"You just disappeared for over an hour. You left me alone at this dan table and you didn't even tell me where the fuck you went or ask if I wanted to join," I tell him back piching his thigh slightly under the table.
"M'sorry. I promise I've been trying to be good. Don't wanna make you mad, schat" Max mumbles clearly feeling the shame of the verbal lashing he was gonna get later when we got back to the apartment.
"You're gonna be in tears tonight," I reply back straight faced not cracking a normal smile.
"Please just one more chance," Max begs knowing I meant every word.
"I gave you a chance with Checo. I don't understand how you hanging out with Lando somehow always results in you getting punished. Maybe we should send him a video of you tonight to let me know he's a terrible influence," I tell him while looking into his eyes before placing a soft kiss on his cheek to throw him off.
"You wouldn't" Max says with wide eyes of the threat of sending a sex tape. I just shrug my shoulders playing along with the bit.
"I don't know, I think he would love to know that the man he's fighting to get the World Driver Championship is just a needy whiney little bitch," I reply back making Max whine.
"You're a meanie," Max mumbles.
"And you're a brat. Don't we make a perfect pair," I saw with a smile on my face.
When we finally get back to the apartment for the night Max was pretty much sober knowing I would wait until morning if he wasn't sober. He chose take his punishment now versus the morning when he would be nursing a hangover.
"Go into our room, make sure the cats are out of the room, then strip down and be laying on you back in the bed. I'll be there in 5 minutes," I say the second the door is closed.
Max makes quick work of disappearing into our room where I assume he listened to every word I said.
In the 5 minutes, I stripped down into the lingerie set I had chosen to wear under my outfit before making my way down the hallway where I find Sassy sitting by the door staring up at me curiously. I give her a quick pet before slipping into the room to find Max exactly how I told him to be. I look around the room and found a neatly stack of clothes letting me know that Max had folded them up instead of throwing them arounf our room.
"I see you remember some of our rules," I saw while staring at the clothes so Max understood what I was referencing.
When I start climbing into the bed with Max I can see him tensing slightly in anticipation.
"You know how embarrassing it was tonight?" I said before spitting onto Max's cock and starting to jerk him off making him instantly grow hard under my hand.
"I was sat there all alone for over an hour. I looked dumb as fuck. I'm sure the Monaco gossip is gonna eat that up "Max Verstappen disappears leaving his long-time girlfriend alone at the table' You know how media is, they're gonna make it seem like there's trouble in paradise. When in reality it's just little Maxie being a brat. Oh! I almost forgot," I stop my teasing to grab my phone which I brought with me into the room.
"Say hi to Lando," I say while pointing the camera at Max's face. He's giving the camera such a pained yet slutty look it makes me laugh at his desperation. I wait a couple seconds before my voice booms through the room, "I said, Say hi to Lando." While verbally reprimanding Max I send a quick slap to his inner thigh close to his dick before pinching the same spot making Max squirm a bit.
"Hi, Lando," Max mumbles barely audible.
"Try that again. I hear the way you yell at your engineer. Such a disrespectful boy," I tell him with a raised brow.
"Hi, Lando" Max finally says in a loud enough voice to be heard.
"Good boy," I tell him while moving my unoccupied hand back to his dick making sure I have the perfect angle to get Max and his already wet with precum ccok.
"So needy. You're already dripping for me," I say with a smirk on my face.
"So good, schat" Max whines making me speed up slightly just to watch Max's breath hitch.
"I love it when you get like that," I mumble while squeezing Max's cock a bit harder.
"M'close," Max mumbled making me speed up just slightly before pulling my hand away and watching Max's eyes roll into the back of his head and tremble slightly from his pleasure being ripped away in a matter of seconds.
"No," Max whines dragging out the O sounding so desperate.
"Awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" I tease while starting to jerk Max off again while zooming the camera in on Max's cock dripping with precum.
"Schat, please," Max says already starting to beg.
"Oh come on, you can handle more than one," I tell him while leaning down and kicking softly at his tip collecting a bit of his precum.
I shuffle down the bed slightly to start pulling Max into my mouth and down my throat taking all of Max's length into my mouth making sure to bob my head slightly before bringing Max to the edge all over again.
I could tell when he was getting close again because his thighs started tensing under my hands making me rip away from Max's cock to watch him thrash around while bucking his hips to try and gain some kind of friction.
"Fuck no," Max whines staring straight at that the camera that I angled perfectly on his face.
"I love watching you get progressively more needy," I say with a smirk while gripping onto his cock and giving it a rough couple jerks before pulling Max into my mouth again.
I didn't give Max much time to calm down so he was on the edge rather quickly.
"Please, I'm gonna cum," Max says making me bod my head a bit faster before pulling away and watching Max try and chase his orgasm on his own by moving his hand to go and finish himself off but I quickly get a grip on his wrist and giving Max a look that says knock it off.
"No more," Max whines making me smirk slightly.
"Can you give me one more?" I question with a raised brow making Max whine but slowly start to nod his head.
"Yes, I can give one more," Max mumbles softly making me smile softly.
I started jerking off his cock softly making sure I'm filming everything again. I loved it when Max got like. The noises, his hips bucking, and the pure desperation in his eyes always seemed to turn me on.
I could tell Max was getting close but I wanted to push him farther than previous so I continue my movements till the second I know Max will cum I rip my hand away and watch as Max lets out a roar of desperation while jerking his body around not being able to gain any friction as I moved away slightly.
"Please, I need it. I can't do it anymore. I need to cum baby, please," Max begs making me smile softly.
"I'm gonna let you cum in a minute," I tell Max softly while rubbing his thigh in a soothing manner making Max whimper at the touch.
I turned the video off and tossed my phone away from us. I was still sitting in my lingerie set which is completely soaked through both from just witnessing Max get to the point of begging and also because I had snuck a couple fingers into my folds and teased my clit while giving Max head.
I stand from the bed softly and strip down completely before climbing back into the bed and climbing on top of Max before instantly sinking all the way down on Max.
"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel Max stretch my tight walls. I knew neither of us would last very long but looking at Max's face he was completely blissed out.
"So good," Max mumbled making his accent come out a bit thicker.
"So big baby," I moan while softly grinding my hips to gain some friction but not enough stimulation to bring Max or I to an orgasm.
"More, please" Max begs and I give him exactly what he wants because I start bouncing my hips slightly making both Max and I moan at the pleasure coursing through our bodies.
It doesn't take me long for the knot in my stomach to grow alerting me of the incoming orgasm. I look at Max's face and can tell he's trying to hold his orgasm off until I was cumming.
"Cum for me baby," I whisper out bouncing harder on Max's cock throwing me off the edge and into a violent orgasm.
The way Max's hips were erratically thrusting and the feeling of him filling me up sent me over the edge into a shaking orgasm. I'm shaking on Max's cock trying to ride both of our orgasms out.
"So good baby," I whine softly still feeling the aftershocks of the intense orgasm I just had.
"Thank you," Max says softly through staggered breath still trying to catch his breath again.
"You did good for me," I tell Max softly while pulling off his cock and laying down on his chest.
"You're not gonna send that to Lando right," Max mumbles softly making me chuckle a little and shake my head no.
"You know I would never, but I did love watching you get desperate on camera. Might start having to do that more often," I tell him softly looking up to watch his face. I could see the conflict in his eyes but he still nodded his head letting me know it was something he would be willing to do again.
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