#so i’m about to unintentionally say goodbye to the one meal i had today

[reesesmainblog]

oh god my anxiety is getting bad again

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Secret’s Out

Father of Mine – Part 1 and Part 2

Bruce was looking at his emails when Y/N arrived at the table.

She was breathing heavily and her hair was a bit messy, just further proving she had rushed to get there.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she huffed embarrassingly. “My shoot ran over and every one was moving so slowly.”

Bruce smiled. “Y/N. Relax.”

Then he stood up to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

The two of them hadn’t seen each other in over a month. Y/N had been traveling for work constantly. And between the vigilante life and Wayne Enterprises, Bruce was running on 2 hours of sleep on the daily.

“I need a drink,” Y/N finally sighed after she got situated.

As if on cue, their waitress dropped Y/N’s favorite drink in front of her.

Y/N eyed Bruce with surprise.

He just shrugged.

Sometimes Y/N forgot how much her father noticed literally everything.

“Thank you,” she told the waitress.

“You’re overworking yourself,” Bruce said with a disapproving look.

She rolled her eyes. “Really? You’re not one to talk, Bruce.”

“You deserve a vacation. I’ll pay for it. Pick wherever you want. Bring Jason. Or some friends.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Bruce…”

It was a warning.

From the very start of their unconventional father-daughter relationship, Y/N had made it clear that she could not be bought. And Bruce spoiling her made her extremely uncomfortable. Even now, she still tried to at least split restaurant checks with him. Bruce always won those battles though.

“I’ll take a vacation when you do,” she finally countered.

That sure shut him up.

“Hey, I actually brought you something,” Y/N changed the subject as she reached for her bag.

A moment later, she lightly placed a manila folder onto the table.

Bruce’s brow furrowed as he reached for it.

As soon as he opened it, he froze.

“I had to clean out some stuff and put things into storage,” Y/N explained. “I found all my mom’s photos. I figured I could make copies of some childhood photos for you.”

Bruce’s silence made Y/N nervous.

“If you don’t want them, that’s totally fine.” She started to reach for the folder out of Bruce’s grip with awkward embarrassment. “It was stupid–”

But Bruce quickly pulled the folder closer to him and stopped her from taking the photos from him.

“Thank you,” he announced.

It made Y/N quickly sit back in her chair, caught off guard by his sincere reaction and how he’d immediately become protective of the photos.

Bruce awkwardly cleared his throat. “Thank you, Y/N.”

He repeated to make sure she understood how thankful he truly was. And Y/N suspected the throat clearing was to hide his emotions.

Now she watched as Bruce slowly went through every picture. He took in every detail with a soft smile.

These weren’t just photos. These were all of Y/N’s memories that Bruce missed, that he could never get back. And he was savoring all of them.

Then Bruce paused and was fully smiling now.

“What?” Y/N asked.

She didn’t know why all of this made her so nervous.

Bruce didn’t say anything as he lifted a photo and flipped it to show her.

It wasn’t from her childhood.

It was a black and white photo of Jason. A candid from when he had escorted her around the slums of Gotham for her most recent gallery show.

After months of thinking about it, Y/N finally had decided she wanted to frame it and hang it somewhere in her apartment. 

Y/N’s jaw dropped with embarrassment and she ripped it from his hands.

“I was developing some photos at the same time as I was making the copies. Must’ve gotten mixed up in those,” Y/N explained too quickly, unable to meet Bruce’s gaze.

It made Bruce happy to know that Y/N didn’t have the same inability to love someone and let people in like he did. It was a relief that she didn’t isolate herself from it like he had. If her mother was still alive, Bruce would thank her for it. But if Y/N’s mother were alive, he would’ve never known about Y/N in the first place.

Their entire dinner was spent with Bruce looking at the old photos. He had at least two questions for each one. Some of them Y/N didn’t remember being taken. But most of them came with stories or a loving memory.

Y/N talked for most of the meal. But that’s exactly what Bruce wanted.

Furthermore, Bruce had nothing of value to update her on. Batman business had consumed his life as of lately, and he had made a promise to never involve Y/N in any of it. And Jason seemed to be on the same page when it came to his other life as Red Hood. 

Both men seemed determined to keep her safe and away from it all. 

Two hours later, Bruce was paying the check and helping Y/N into her coat.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” he muttered as they started walking out.

Y/N had learned by now to give up on those small battles. Jason was the same way when it came to making sure she got home safely.

As they made their way to the exit, Y/N caught a few stares from other patrons who were still eating.

“Do you ever get used to it?” She asked her father in a low voice.

“Get used to what?” He asked, genuinely unaware of what she was getting at.

“People gawking at you.”

Bruce glanced around and unintentionally glared at anyone who was staring at Y/N.

“It’s good that I’m seen in public…for obvious reason,” he hinted in a quiet voice, obviously talking about needing the cover to continue his life as a masked vigilante.

Once they were outside, Alfred was already waiting at the curb with the Rolls-Royce. He greeted Y/N with a hug and a kiss to her cheek before opening the door for her and Bruce.

When they got to Y/N’s apartment building, she said her goodbyes to Alfred. And Bruce walked Y/N all the way up to her door.

Even though Y/N insisted it was overkill and she could get up the stairs on her own just fine, Bruce had seen too many terrible things in this forsaken city. He could think of thousands of things that could happen to Y/N between the car and her front door.

Once Y/N realized that Bruce’s paranoia came from experience, she stopped trying to stop his chivalry and overprotective ways. She finally understood that Bruce had seen things that would prevent her from ever sleeping again. So if walking Y/N to her door gave him a little peace of mind, she wasn’t going to take that away from him.

Y/N turned to Bruce when they reached her door. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“Of course. I’m glad we could spend some time together. Thank you again for the photos.”

Y/N didn’t realize that Bruce was about to hang every single one around Wayne Manor. 

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Get home safe.”

——————

Y/N woke up wrapped strong arms, her body overheating slightly.

When she had come home from dinner last night, Jason had already left for patrol.

He hadn’t woken her up when he got back home, just proving how exhausted Y/N had been these past few weeks.

But it was the continuous buzzing vibrations of her phone that woke her up. When she brightened the screen, she saw that she had dozens of text messages and three missed called from Bruce.

“What the fuck,” Y/N whispered as she started opening them.

But they were all about the same thing.

Everyone had sent her similar articles from various gossip websites or news outlets.

BRUCE WAYNE’S NEW GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHER Y/F/N Y/L/N

BRUCE WAYNE’S FLAVOR OF THE WEEK

IS Y/F/N Y/L/N USING THE PRINCE OF GOTHAM TO FURTHER HER CAREER?

All of the headlines were joined with photos of Bruce and Y/N having dinner last night. Apparently other customers at the restaurant had snuck photos of Bruce greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Y/N could see how it would be misinterpreted as romantic and not familial or platonic. But it still made her sick to see the photos twisted in such a way.

Then there were paparazzi photos of them getting in a car together. Of course there were none of Bruce dropping her off and them going their separate ways. That would be just too convenient for the two of them. 

Y/N’s stomach dropped with panic.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she gasped without realizing it.

Jason immediately woke up. “What is it?”

Y/N ignored him and called Bruce.

“I’m handling it,” was how Bruce answered her call.

“Handling it? How exactly?” She challenged. “We can deny the rumors all we want. But everyone is going to keep tabs on us now, and they’re going to see us together again.”

Jason grabbed his own phone.

One of his brothers must’ve sent him a similar article because he rubbed his face in annoyance, finally understanding the situation. 

Nothing like your girlfriend being rumored to have a relationship with her father, who was also your mentor and adoptive father. 

“Y/N, it will blow over. It always does,” Bruce tried to calm her down.

“So what happens when I get photographed with Jason? Huh? They’re going to just say I’m cheating on both of you with each other or some fucked up shit like that.”

Bruce was silent, because they both knew she was right.

Y/N glanced at Jason, who was already waiting for her gaze.

She took in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe we should…Maybe we should just tell the truth.”

“You’ve never wanted that, Y/N.” Bruce tried to argue.

And he was right.

Y/N was terrified of being associated with the Wayne family. People would start believing she secretly built her career off of nepotism that no one was aware of. She also didn’t want that type of attention from the media and the upperclass of Gotham.

“I don’t think we have any other choice,” Y/N finally answered.

Jason reached for thigh and gripped it, trying to offer her some sort of comfort.

“Y/N, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked slowly.

“No. Not at all. But I’d rather not have the public think I’m dating my biological father.”

“OK,” Bruce sighed. “I’ll talk to my publicist today.”

“OK.” She bit her lip before adding. “Just…tell them the whole story.”

“Y/N, if you’re worried how it will make me look, don’t.”

“But I am worried about it, Bruce. They’re going to drag you for being an absent father. And none of that is true. They’re not gonna understand.”

“I’ll call you later with an update,” he told her softly before hanging up.

Y/N tossed her phone to the foot of the bed in frustration.

Jason watched as she buried her face in her hands.

“You OK?” He asked as he rubbed her back.

“No,” she answered honestly.

“Come here.” Jason pulled her into his chest.

There was no fight from her as he cuddled her tightly.

“This is a fucking nightmare,” she groaned into his shoulder.

“I know. But maybe it’s for the best,” he tried to reason with her.

“And what happens when they catch wind that I’m dating my father’s adoptive son? Huh?”

“We’re not actually related, Y/N.”

She pulled her face back so she could glare at him. “Yeah! We know that! But you do understand that people are going to see it that way, right? Like we’re gonna look like some fucked up incestual couple to them.”

“I don’t really care,” Jason finally told her.

“You don’t care?” She scoffed.

“No,” his answer and confidence didn’t waver. “I don’t give a fuck what people say about us, Y/N. If exposing the truth means we don’t have to think twice about going to events or even just going out to dinner, then I’m all for it. I’m sick of hiding our relationship.”

Y/N blinked. She never considered that their subtle relationship bothered him in any way. She was always a strangely private person, so it felt normal to her. But clearly Jason had been wanting to be a bit more public with their relationship.

“What if this changes everything?” Y/N whispered, not meeting his eyes.

Jason smirked at that and gripped her chin, lifting it up so she would look at him. “Some paparazzi and trash tabloids aren’t going to change how I feel about you, Y/N.”

Y/N laughed lightly at that.

“Maybe we should leave Gotham for a bit,” she offered. “Bruce won’t shut up about paying for a vacation for us.”

Jason nodded. “I think that sounds like a good idea. You’ve needed a break for awhile now.”

“Well…where do you wanna go?” Y/N asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me. As long as you’re there.”

She rolled her eyes and hit Jason in the face with a pillow. “God, you really are a sap.”

Y/N appreciated Jason always being able to make her feel better and feel supported. 

But even he couldn’t stop her from wondering...

What would life be like as a Wayne?

------------------------------

Father of Mine – Bonus Content

[mingying]

[spoilers] hospital playlist s2 ep 11; ikjun/songhwa

I can’t believe this finally happened. And it happened in arguably the best ways possible for us IkSong shippers. As usual, this post is just basically my own thoughts and opinion of the episode and my interpretation of things - feel free to disagree, and I hope you enjoy reading this musing of mine!

22 years later, finally they found each other again <3

TL;DR: Everything happens for a reason and we have finally reached the rainbow end <3

Let’s begin by addressing the ER scene, but before that, I would like to point out that since Ep 10, Songhwa has been shown to be somewhat forgetful and a klutz - in Ep 10, she was searching for her socks and insisted that she wore them for her rounds. She also seemed to have forgotten to take off her surgical cap until Seonbin pointed it out to her.

In Ep 11, the episode starts off with Songhwa leaving her handbag in Ikjun’s office, and subsequently her handphone, followed by her handbag in the car again. This is not a dementia arc, guys (haha) but I genuinely think that this is her mind being occupied by her newly realised feelings for Ikjun that her normally composed self had started to crumble (and that’s entirely ok!). Another interpretation of this scene could be that unintentionally and subconsciously, she just wanted to remain in the hospital knowing Ikjun may return to collect his gift later.

Can I also point out her sixth sense in this scene? When she peered out of her window and heard the sound of ambulance, followed immediately by Dr Bong calling, she looked disturbed. Normally, she would have answered her calls immediately without hesitation but this time you could tell that she frowned and waited for maybe 2 seconds before answering Dr Bong. Well, never messed with a woman’s intuition I guess!

The ER Scene. Gosh. I actually have a lot of things to say about this. I know some people do not like this trope and that it is a typical trigger for characters to realise their feelings. But, I’d have to say that ShinLee did not intend for this scene to be a trigger of Songhwa realising that she likes Ikjun.

Because she already knows and had realised, somewhere around Ep 8-9 but more obviously 9, that she does like him as a man (all over again). If anything, this ER scene was meant to give Songhwa that one last push to confess, otherwise she may end up regretting not to. Another reason why I felt this scene was necessary was that Songhwa has been too comfortable in Ikjun’s constant presence by her side -- perhaps she has been wanting to confess but still lack the courage to and she didn’t think she needed to act on it rightaway because Ikjun would always be there by her side.

Gosh, the way she rushed to Ikjun and didn’t even hear Dr Bong trying to report to her that he actually wasn’t in such a terrible state. The way she slipped her hand in his and was so gentle in her questions - you can really just tell that she was trying her best not to crumble.

(side note: Jeon Mido, your acting was truly stellar during this scene. That suppressed professionalism vs personal feelings. I really felt her worry and regret in this entire scene. I loved it so much)

Now, why do I firmly believe that Songhwa already intends to confess to Ikjun eventually? Other than the fact that Songhwa herself confirmed during her confession that “I should have told you that I liked you”, it’s because of the Gift that she has given him for his birthday. It’s a cap, and initially we don’t think much of it until the flashback sequence showed and we realised that, a cap was what 99z Songhwa wanted to give to Ikjun but never did because he had turned her down for dinner and lied that he has a blind date.

Present day Songhwa gifting Ikjun a cap can be interpreted as her having let go of the hurt he had caused her in the past and that she was willing to try, again.

Interestingly, I’d like to also point out that the 99z flashback in this episode was truly necessary for us to understand Songhwa’s aversion to ‘Sad Sea’ and why she has rejected Ikjun in the first episode. 99z Songhwa didn’t give up when Ikjun stood her up for her birthday but mustered the courage to confess to him - she tried twice too, asking if he really has to go on that blind date that evening and couldn’t he go another time? Ikjun, in that scene, was playing Sad Sea. 

I would like to apologise to Ep 7 Songhwa because I had been frustrated with her then, but now that everything has been rolled out beautifully, I do not blame her at all for her hesitancy and year long passiveness. Ikjun kinda deserved it after breaking her heart twice (HA!) and remember this shot of Ikjun in Ep 7? 

I now interpret this scene as him realising that he knew Songhwa’s reasons of rejecting him. Because there was no way he didn’t know that Songhwa had liked him in the 99z, and he was perhaps regretting turning her down for dinner that day during his birthday. He knew he had a chance with her then but blew it, and that is perhaps why he never faltered in making Songhwa happy now. Not that he expects anything in return, but perhaps he wanted to make up for the indirect hurt he had caused her.

Bab Meokja had been something initiated by Songhwa back then. And now, it is a treat he gives himself -- I really do think that is the reason why he keeps asking Songhwa out for meals in the present time, because Ikjun probably wanted to indrectly make up for what happened in 99z.

Let’s move on to another great scene! The card game scene!

For some, it may seem to be a random scene but for me, I saw it in a different way and I’m glad Kfans and some users on Twitter pointed out this theory as well. 

As you all know, the card game IkSong was playing was “Bluff/Cheat”. Here, you could see that Ikjun could read Songhwa so well that he knows when she would lie. But Songhwa on the other hand, could not read Ikjun as well -- and this is further affirmed by Songhwa’s confession when she said “If your feelings for me haven’t changed,”. This is beautiful because it makes Ikjun’s expression during the confession scene even more sense -- a user on reddit pointed out that his expression at that time wasn’t more of a “omg she likes me after all”, it was more of a “she has realised her feelings for me,” and I think that’s absolutely beautiful. He even nodded subtlely a few times as Songhwa struggled to get her confession out, as if encouraging her and saying “you can do it, just a bit more”. 

Back to the card game - Ikjun even threw down a 9 Hearts - which I believe is a metaphor of his feelings for her, steady and still unwavering. 

(Bonus note: I absolutely love how Iksun caught on to them being lovey dovey at once and Junwan’s expression catching them was HILARIOUS)

On to my next scene which was absolute favourite.

Songhwa had finished a difficult/challenging surgery, and out of excitement (she even skipped omg whipped girlie), she called Ikjun first to convey the good news to him. Her tone here really depicts a difference in how she talks to Ikjun before. This scene alone tells you that Songhwa has pretty much fallen for Ikjun again and I love love love that finally she has someone she would want to immediately call to share her good news with! 

And the best part? Our best boy Lee Ikjun never went to Changwon. Instead, he waited for her for probably hours (it was bright day when they said goodbye, but night when Songhwa returned to her office) and even told her straight that he has to see her before he leaves because of how worried she had been before. Good lord find me a man like Ikjun please? 

image cr: iksongarchives @ twitter

This entire shot, with I Knew I Love playing in the background pretty much hits. It is in this exact moment that Songhwa has probably made up her mind to confess for real, that she wasn’t going to waste another second because I am sooo sure she would have ran to hug him if not because of their status at that moment. I love this scene so much. It is the personification of the lyrics of I Knew I Love, which goes “I called you out of habit today and you answered warmly, you make me the happiest in the whole wide world, I love you so much”.

And finally. 

Finally.

*takes a deep breath*

SONGHWA CONFESSED!!!!!!!!

AND THEY KISSED!!!! UNDER THE RAIN!!! 

The whole directing of this scene, with the slow camera panning into them - Ikjun was restless, probably breaking into cold sweats (he commented it was cold) while Songhwa was nervous and trying to muster enough courage to confess (she commented it was really hot). I held my breath for so long I felt like I was about to faint I swear to god.

Songhwa looked legit terrified that Ikjun was going to reject her man, and it all makes sense why after we got the 99z flashback this episode. 

And Ikjun, he really waited for her cues. Even after she was done confessing, he looked at her and waited for her to look at him back before he went “I’ll give you my answer”. And it was only after Songhwa nodded in fear and anticipation, that he swooped in to kiss her!!!!!

Songhwa definitely also leaned in first before Ikjun pulled her closer. She wanted this just as much as he did and it showed through their first kiss. Gosh I’m still shaking just thinking about how perfect that entire sequence and kiss was. They really went all out for it (yes I believe there was tongue involved) rather than soft and gentle. 22 years of suppressed yearning and feelings really popped out in that kiss alone and I am so blessed to have been a part of their beautiful journey.

And now, with only one episode left, we are finally able to see IkSong as a couple and on dates. I have a feeling Songhwa would be the clingy gf man, judging from the Preview keke. I cannot wait to see the rest of the boys finding out, and for sure, I cannot wait to see how their dynamics would change now as lovers rather than just best friends. I do think their transition would be seamless, only that now, they get to do what other lovers could.

This post is so long but I felt the need to address another matter that I have seen roaming around the internet. Apparently, some people are annoyed that Songhwa was ‘forced to change her mind’ and that we cannot accept her ‘No’ in ep 1. I would humbly and respectfully disagree on this point. Songhwa’s ‘No’ in ep 1 was not a “I don’t like you therefore I am rejecting you”. It was more of a “I do not know how to sort out my feelings yet, and am not ready to revisit the past, so it is best not to tamper with it”. 

Songhwa did not change her mind overnight or weeks. It took her one year and a few months. She has had all that time to weighs her decisions again and properly thought out how she wanted to bring forward her relationship with Ikjun. She was not forced.

She may have said that she liked being single in S1, but she has never been averse to love. In fact, she is always encouraging other people to go for it. I for one, am single and absolutely enjoying it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to ever change my mind if I find someone worthy enough to share my space and happiness with. I like being single now because guys around me are idiots and I’d rather save myself that headache LOL.

Her conscious decision to accept Ikjun now does not and will never invalidate her decision to reject him back then - in fact, it goes to show that as human beings, we constantly undergo character growth and our minds are often changed to suit the present circumstances. 

ShinLee did not portray Songhwa in that light where ‘women needs to say yes if a guy treats her right’. Ikjun did all of those things for her without expecting anything in return. He never once crossed the line and never once forced Songhwa into accepting his love for her. Songhwa said yes because she likes Ikjun and is now ready to move their relationship to that of romantic. It is as simple as that.

And one last point to make is that Songhwa being in a relationship does not in any way invalidate that she is a strong and independent woman. Please do not associate the relationship status of a woman to her being ‘strong/independent’. A woman in a relationship and a woman not being a relationship are still BOTH strong AND independent. Love is a universal element in life, why deprive a person of it simply because she’s portrayed to be a “strong” female character? If that love brings her greater joy and ardent happiness, why stop her from enriching her life further?

Anyway. I digress. 

If you made it until the end of this ridiculously long post, thank you. I hope it was an enjoyable read! Till Ep 12!

[justaniche]

Hey! I’m dying for more Daxton. I seriously can’t wait for season 2. Can you write something about Nalini realizing Paxton is good for Devi? Like he takes care of her/protects her and helps her deal with her trauma

Thanks!!

Hi!

omg let me say first, anon, thank you for this ask. youre the first person to take me up on my offer to write stuff for you so thank you again.

A little bit about this writing piece before I actually show it to you, there was a point when I was writing it when I wasn’t sure if it was going to reach 1K words but there was a point where the words just start to flow and I can proudly say it is 2.1K and that is not a lot but based on what I thought it was going to end up being it has come along way. and this is one of my first-ish never have I ever work of writing. I think it’s the first I’ve written entirely off the top of my head. My other ones are either not posted or it’s my work inspired by the episodes and its just everything through Paxton‘s point of view so it’s a bit different.

this is getting sort of long so anyway, without further ado. here it is. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think and if you like it please feel free to send me another!

Nalini had just about had it. The day’s raging dumpster fire began with traffic that resulted in her being late to work. If that wasn’t bad enough, a patient she saw a couple days ago came back complaining that her treatment caused a breakout. After a follow-up, she discovered the patient hadn’t changed any of their habits despite her advice! So was it really the treatment, or the fact that they don’t wash their face? All that suffices to say when Nalini got home she was already on a very short fuse. Kamala was out for school and let her family know she wouldn’t be home for dinner so it was known by both Devi and Nalini that they would be cooking without her today. Nalini gave Devi specific instructions so that, regardless of how late her day ran, they could have dinner at a reasonable time. Devi did not follow those instructions. Nalini came home to the door unlocked, closed but unlocked, the house a mess, and Devi’s part of dinner not made. No matter how many breaths she took, Nalini was mad. No, mad didn’t quite cover it. She silently walked up the stairs, hell-bent on seeing what caused this disaster, and if she didn’t like the reason she planned to riff for the rest of the night. But approaching Devi’s door she found it ajar. She peeked inside, and that's where she found them.

After winning his swim meet, Paxton was on top of the world. The school day had been what it tended to be, light. Filled with class and hanging with his friends in the hotpocket. But that was hours ago. It was early evening when he saw her, Devi Vishwakumar, they had sort of become friends over recent weeks but given the up and down nature of their relationship, Paxton was always very aware of her. Devi had a way of grabbing Paxton’s attention. He was always trying to figure her out. Of course she made a hell of a first impression, first couple of impressions actually. Devi was sorely different from anyone else in his circle and Paxton wasn’t yet sure how he felt about the sudden invasion. He pretended he didn’t but after unintentionally watching her Paxton began to notice Devi’s change in mood sometimes. Like right now, from where Paxton was he saw the set of her shoulders. The tension was apparent as Devi stalked across the school grounds. Confusion flooded Paxton’s mind and before another thought could register, he was jogging towards her.

“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” He called towards her but she didn’t stop

Devi cast a look over her shoulder, her voice was muffled when she spoke, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” her voice cracks, “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Paxton slows down for a second as he takes in the situation, Devi speeds up.

“Are you okay?”

Devi breaks into a dead sprint and Paxton doesn’t think, he just follows.

Devi was doing okay. Today was harder than most for a reason she couldn’t name but Devi was making it through. That was until last period art class. The teacher gave a simple assignment, and that was to paint your happiest memory. Immediately when the words left his mouth, a memory came flooding into Devi's mind like a tidal wave.

Devi was 8 when her father convinced her mother that going to a Californian beach as a family would be an adventure. Devi barely remembers the build-up, it was a haze of packing sandwiches and equipment. Leaving the house, only to discover something had been forgotten. A car ride that seemed to stretch into forever. But the beach was magnificent. At least it was in Devi’s memory. It was a gloomy day, the threat of rain looming, so the beach’s visitors were far and few in between. Devi remembers that feeling of warm sand under her feet. She remembers those first fragile steps into the tide, only to rush back as the ocean crashed forward chasing her back to shore. She could see her mom, in the distance, setting up their makeshift camp for the day. She was more content watching her family than participating. The ocean was vast and blue and terrifying. Devi could not urge herself to take more than a few steps. Devi doesn’t know how her dad saw her distress but it was like he could read her mind. He grabbed her and lifted her high then settled Devi on his shoulders. He insisted that she was safe there, she was too high for the ocean to ever reach. He held her hand as he walked slowly but confidently further into the waves. He stopped just as the water kissed her mid-calf but it was enough. From way up here, with her father by her side, the ocean wasn’t anything to fear, it was something to marvel at.

Devi had a firm picture in her mind of her happiest memory and it was her family’s adventure at the beach. But Devi couldn’t make a move to make this image a reality. Sadness crept up on her and got a vice grip on her heart. Her vision blurred and she couldn’t breathe. How had she ever breathed before? Was it always this hard? The bell rang, signaling the end of the day but Devi was on autopilot. Eleanor and Fabiola felt miles away, whenever they’d focus in the daze of her mind, the grip on her heart tightened and dragged her back to darkness. Devi doesn’t know if she said goodbye to her best friends,

She blinked, band began

She inhaled, band was over

She stood, the sun was setting

She gazed, the stress stiffened her movements as she walked around campus. Where was she headed?

Devi was desperate for light, for clarity.

“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” The sudden noise broke the muddle, if only for now, she was again aware of the devastation and loss weighing on her mind and on her heart.

She recognized that voice and it was getting closer, she glanced over her shoulder. Paxton, no no no, she didn’t want anyone to see this least of all her newest and most popular friend, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” Why was her voice cracking? “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Devi finally knew where she wanted to go as she increased her speed.

“Are you okay?” Paxton’s question was the final straw, she couldn’t stop her tears and they fell uncontrollably past her cheeks. Paxton was going to catch up, and Devi was crumbling by the second. So Devi did the only thing she could. She ran, ignoring the echo of the beating steps behind her.

Nalini could hardly comprehend the scene playing in front of her. Devi, her only child, her entire world, looked so small folded up on the floor in front of her bed. Devi was always so strong, with a personality larger than life. She always seemed bigger than her stature, always taking up more space. Nalini's anger from the day deflates, leaving no trace it was ever there to begin with. Nalini tears her eyes away from the form of her daughter to take in the room. It was dark but the other figure inhabiting the room was clear as day. Paxton sat before Devi, his body language soft. He had one hand on the arms Devi wrapped around herself as he spoke to her gently. Paxton’s volume was soft as a whisper, any louder would shatter the delicate atmosphere. Witnessing this scene felt like a secret and the longer Nalini stood there the guiltier she felt. Devi never expressed emotions this deeply to her. Everyday problems with her friends or tests or Ben Gross, yes. But Devi never shared this.

Nalini's mind was going a million miles an hour as he crept back down the steps and began cooking dinner. She knew Devi would refuse but she needed to have something ready, just in case. When everything was mostly done, she was quiet as she moved around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the meal. Nalini knew he was trying to walk silently but she still caught Paxton as he descended the steps. Nalini kept her back to him as she called, giving Paxton an out if he needed.

“Paxton?”

“Um...yes, Hi Mrs. Vishwakumar” at the acknowledgment, Nalini felt comfortable enough to turn around.

Paxton was standing in the doorway, shuffling in obvious discomfort. What he expected her to say she didn’t know. Gods, neither did Nalini. Questions flew through her mind faster than she could catch them. She didn’t want to ask him about what happened, Nalini wanted Devi to share when, if, she was ready. Nalini realized, amongst these questions, that she didn’t know Paxton. Here was this kid, late in the evening comforting her daughter. She couldn’t even be upset that they were home alone when she recalled how broken Devi looked. All Nalini had done thus far was judge Paxton, he looked like a jock so she thought him dumb. She made these assumptions about him, that he’d peak in high school or that he was shallow or that he was a walking STI, but they were just that. Assumptions. This kid stayed with her daughter for she didn’t even know how long, she’d been cooking for close to an hour so it was at least that.

All these guesses and judgments were useless when she stood in front of him. Paxton had a rigid set to his limbs, Nalini thought it was probably from sitting in one position for so long, and he was still dressed in gym clothes. Paxton looked new in Nalini’s eyes and she regretted never wanting to know him before now. Nalini didn’t know where to begin, she wondered if he’d eaten.

“Would you like something to eat?” Nalini's silent prayer must’ve been heard because he accepted. She was being given another chance. She quickly worked around the familiar space, grabbing one of the good containers and piling more food than necessary, successfully straining the unyielding plastic. She was handing the meal over when she paused, they both had a hand on the object between them but Nalini couldn’t let go, not yet.

“Thank you, Paxton, really, I don’t know what happened and I won’t ask but I saw what you did for Devi.” Paxton had the decency to look a little shocked. He hadn’t heard anything. Paxton was too absorbed before. His mind was a broken record repeating only, Devi.

The moment shatters when the front door opened, “I’m home!” Kamala’s voice fills the silent home. With the trance broken, Nalini’s hold on the container falters and she drops her hand allowing Paxton to leave. Words were failing him so all Paxton could give was a tightlipped smile in response.

“Thanks for the dinner.” Paxton’s smile was looser now and that gave Nalini courage.

Kamala was unloaded the day around her but Nalini was focused on making this right, “You’re welcome to come by Paxton, anytime.” She could only hope Paxton knew just how much she meant those words. His smile was burdened but bright, he nodded strongly and then he was out the door.

Kamala was fixing the table for a very late dinner when she called for Devi to join, Nalini hoped she would. “Who was that? And why was he here so late?” Pure curiosity laced Kamala’s voice.

“Paxton is one of Devi’s friends. He’s a good kid.”

Those details were all she could provide before Devi came bouncing down the steps. Nalini couldn’t be sure if it was the fact of what she saw or reality but Devi’s movements looked heavier than they normally were.

“What’s up guys?” Devi’s voice feigned casualness, “Dang mom, isn’t it late for a thousand-course meal?” She questioned as she took in the lack of clear surfaces on the dinner table.

Nalini just brushed it off, indicating for everyone to take a seat. “So how was everyone’s day?”

Nalini wasn’t looking for Devi to share but this was her family. She would always want to hear how they were, plus it was tradition. As they consumed insane amounts of food they were bound to regret eating this late at night, everything felt so normal and easy. But something had shifted in Nalini today and even though it was new and she was scared to death of this person entering Devi’s life with the propensity to hurt her. Nalini can’t say she minded too much because it was Paxton. He had proven himself worthy of a chance, and Nalini wouldn’t soon forget it.

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 18

The Darkling x Reader

The Winter Fete was fast approaching. The Little Palace was being cleaned up and stitched up in preparation and the seamstress unit was overwhelmed with orders of silk keftas and lavish gowns.

Aleksander was away at front lines on behalf of the Lantosv King again and you were buried up to your neck in work that would otherwise go to him. You pondered for much too long why he always left and you stayed. He constantly left for the camps and front-lines, tending to Grisha in the outposts and dealing with war duties while you were stuck in the confines of this very Palace, signing your name away and reading boring documents. From what you gathered though it had been the same before you arrived, your intelligence prevailing even now.

'You called for me Deputy?' An older Squaller loomed at your door, her greying hairs curling at the sides of her face.

'I did indeed, please sit.' You pointed towards the small sofa in the corner of your room and got up from your desk, heading for it too.

'I think it's about time I thanked you in person for everything you've done for me, Irina.' You picked up the sealed envelope sitting on the table and held it out to her.

'Is that what I think it is?' The older woman visibly teared up, a feathering touch on the envelope.

'I owe it to you and your mother, Irina. Take it.'

'This is so much more than we have given you.'

'Don't be fooled. , I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.'

'Does he know?'

'Of course he doesn't. I keep my own affairs in order without him prying in.'

'Are you sure?' It struck you with a strangeness that you were much older than the Grisha in front of you and had nothing to show for it. You had seen her as a newborn baby cradled in her mother's arms all those years ago and yet you stood before her, the epitome of youth.

'Go. Live your life. It's all in there.' You gestured to the envelope. Irina looked at you just as her mother once did, a look of gratitude and hope. 'He may not be alive anymore but your girl is. So go, I beg of you.'

She stood up and hugged you tightly, quietly crying out of pure joy. You sushed her like you did when she was just a child.

'Go before I decide to keep you around.' You tried to lighten the mood, to say goodbye without having to actually say it. You knew deep down you would never see her again, and given the fact that her daughter was an otkazat'sya, you had no use for her either. Her life was far away from the Os Alta, you made sure of it and now her mother would get to join her and they could live out the rest of their days as a family.

'Y/N you will always be family. My mother made sure of it. I will always be here to serve you.'

'Go'

And she did, with the envelope clutched tightly in her hand, the daughter of your long-passed best friend walked out the door, ending your relationship with the Volkov Grisha.

You met Inessa Volkov during your very first year in the First-Army. She was a Squaller too, stationed at Kribirsk to aid skiff journeys. She was a firecracker, a feisty Zemeni woman who could both bark and bite and never relied solely on her small science.

It was most strange to see soldiers from opposite armies be friends, but Inessa would always swear she knew you were special. She followed you to the Little Palace, helped you evolve into the infamous witch the Fjerdan's began to fear, but her life hit a standstill when she got pregnant. Twins, the girl a Grisha, the boy an otkazat'sya.

Your position allowed for you to help the boy along in life, to prevent him from being dumped in an orphanage by the other Grisha. You gave him a life of happiness and content away from the buzz of capital and for that Inessa was indebted to you, even after your supposed death.

Irina only knew you as a character in her mother's bedtimes stories until you reached out. From then on, Irina served as one of your spies in the Palace while you stayed in the shadows watching Aleksander's moves from a long distance.

Irina was the last link you had to your old life apart from Aleksander and Baghra, of course. You were lucky she was powerful and could live a long life like her mother, but it still hurt to know she would die eventually and you would still be you. You were used to watching those around you die, Aleksander had prepared you for it unintentionally through his various stories and explained life adventures but the sting was still there.

You and Aleksander were on the same page when it came to Grisha abandoning the war effort, but you couldn't help yourself to not let Irina go. She had a daughter and grandkids that she deserved to spend time with in her old age.

No doubt Aleksander would throw up a fuss about a missing Grisha, but you had planned for it already. In the envelope was Irina's death certificate, the address of her daughter's abode, and all the information on her twin brother's family. You wouldn't tell him the truth ever, you would take it to the grave, if you even have to pleasantry to meet.

If he were to find out, with it would come the bubbling question of 'How many spies were there?' and there were too many to count. You had a looming presence and influence in the Palace long before you physically came back and no doubt he would be pissed that you got away with it.

'Deputy, are you to dine in the hall today or in your chambers?' The maid was looking at you and asking the same question she asked every night.

'I think I'll dine with the Grisha, thank you.'

Lately, you ate your dinners cold and in your office, eating only when you remembered the silver tray sitting idly on the table. When Aleksander comes back he's getting an earful and a stack of papers to read. That'll show him.

The hall was filled with pleasant chatter as you approached your seat. It no longer went quiet as you entered, instead a smile or two were sent your way when you noticed. Alina was sitting at her chair sulking over her plate as she usually did and Zoya was too busy eating to notice anything going on around her.

Your food was warm this time as you dug in, drinking the hefty meal down with kvas. You weren't privy to the conversation taking place around you as your thoughts were suddenly overtaken by him. You were never needy, but as of late you wanted to be near Aleksander at all times which was difficult since he wasn't here. The quick kiss he bestowed upon you before he entered his carriage did little to appease you. He never told you when he would be back, but you hoped he wouldn't miss the fete.

Alina was getting stronger, a messy report said that apparently something snapped in her and she grew in power almost overnight. Sometimes when you walked the Palace halls at night, you would catch glimpse of light coming out from under her door. She was growing confident and it suited her. You knew it wasn't any thanks to Baghra.

'Y/N'

'Hmm?' You looked up from your food to see who called you by your name and not your title and relaxed when your eyes caught Zoya's bored ones.

'Botkin asked me to ask you why you've been skipping your combat?' She looked around impassively as if this was the least of her problems but you knew she had nothing better to do given Aleksander's warning to her.

'Oh ummm, I've been busy.' You set your cutlery down and downed the rest of the kvas.

'A Grisha is never too busy to train, lazy perhaps.' You squinted up at the brunette with a false offense.

'Do you have something else to say to me Zoya?'

'I don't know what you mean.'

'Alright then if you say so.' You got up from your chair, coaxing her up from her own. 'Perhaps, your Deputy wants to train now. Should you care to join her?' You knew Zoya was an excellent Squaller, and an even better fighter but was she better than you?

You didn't miss the look of surprise on her face or the silent acceptance of the challenge as you both walked out of the hall, aiming for the training grounds.

'Don't worry about knocking me cold, the General doesn't speak for me.'

The spaces were empty, all Grisha being at dinner and Botkin seemingly busy too.

'I should hope so.'

If you looked at it from a subjective perspective, Inessa and Zoya were very alike. They both had that ruthless and vindictive aspect to their behavior paired with that sharp tongue and intelligent nature. They would've hated each other.

'Come on Nazyalensky, let's see what your made of.' You got into position, holding up your fists in front of you, ready to strike a blow if need be. You let her hit first, effortlessly dodging and ducking her punches and hooks. She was as fast as a bird in flight, swift and elegant. It impressed you, but unfortunately for her, it wasn't enough. You had her restrained in a matter of seconds, her arms behind her back and chest heaving against the wet ground.

'A worthy opponent. You're pretty good I must confess.' You let her go and stood up, adjusting your kefta around your waist.

'Again' You rolled your eyes at her inability to lose. Just like Inessa.

'Zoya, quit while your ahead. Besides I'm tired.'

'You do nothing all day, how can you be tired'

'Do you speak to the General the same way?'

'Only when he's not listening.' she joked and you actually laughed. It was refreshing to hear someone speak of him without that devout loyalty.

You walked back to the Palace, laughing and joking with the Squaller until you went your separate ways.

You didn't know what happened, but from that day onwards the rude Zoya Nazyalensky became a friend.

---------

Part 19

Contrary to popular belief, I would die for Zoya 😍🥰🥰

Taglist (tell me if you want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess @lunas1x1 @adoringb

[wakaoujisenhime]

Can you make a part 2 on the levi angst? like maybe a few months later and they still haven't reconciled because levi believes the reader doing well without him then the reader gets badly injured and u can decide what happens next :))

A/N: Of course I can! I actually got a second request from @/centerhabit​ and even a third one from @/blancc-bunny to finish it so I hope you guys enjoy this happy and fluffy continuation! ੧(❛▿❛✿)੭  

Tags: Levi x reader ✅  SFW ✅  slight angst ✅  fluff ✅

image/art source: DeviantArt [art by Bev-Nap]

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

By my side - Levi x reader

A few months had passed since you had broken up with Levi and you genuinely felt better. Your small inferiority complex had subsided and thanks to Hanji you felt like everyday was a small adventure on its own. It kinda pained you to admit that you felt much safer by her side than when you were alongside Levi’s squad.

But if you felt that much better...then what was that empty feeling you couldn’t get rid of?

The answer was simple, but you didn’t want to admit it since you felt like you had no right to actually mourn what had happened. You were the one who wanted to end it all after all. Levi begged you not to do it and tried apologizing to you countless of times, but no matter what he did or said, you just shook your head and remained silent.

“(Y/N)! Are you even listening?”

Hanji’s cheerful and loud voice interrupted your train of thoughts, making you realize that as of right now the two of you were sharing a table in the Survey Corps’ lunchroom while having a small meal before starting your day.

“Sorry Hanji, I was just thinking about something. Would you mind running that by me again?“

With a small pout on her lips she obliged and answered: “So, as I was saying...Erwin asked us to go out today and examine a titan they caught a day ago.“

It was hard to not get hyped up for the mission while observing the big grin on her face.Instead of answering, you nodded multiple times, excited to finally be able to go out again which just resulted into you being teased by your comrade ending with the two of you laughing loudly attracting all kind of looks from the cadets.

But there was one look in particular that differed from any other.

Levi...

He looked at you from the corners of his eyes while silently drinking his tea. Seeing you smile like that made him feel relieved, he had always known that a smile suited you way more than anything else, but knowing that you were able to smile like that because he wasn't a part of your life anymore only made him feel worse.

Every time he looked at you, Levi couldn't help but remember the fight you guys had back in his office. The moment you jumped at him and began punching his face, he was quite startled and even if he could have protected himself he decided against it, knowing that you weren't that type of person to randomly throw punches without a good reason.

After you had broken up with him, he himself was quite depressed and even if he tried hiding it it was taking a toll on him. It all started with small mistakes like being slightly late or forgetting to tie his shoelaces, but it all took a turn to the worse when his mistakes began getting in the way of his missions. Erwin had then called him to his office, he didn't ask any questions since he already knew what the reason behind Levi's change was. All he did was promise to tell him everything what happened around and with you in exchange for Levi reverting back to his old self.

That idea seemed good at first and it even motivated him to a degree, but after some weeks he realized that he might have been better off not knowing anything. He was in constant worry for you and gruesome scenarios just kept on entering his head and dominating his thoughts, the worst part of it all was that up until now you've only been on missions inside of the walls, but never outside...not up until now.

Yesterday Erwin had left him a small note on his desk that said Hanji and you would be leaving the walls to examine a titan, he almost fainted then and there but the thought that he'd see at least see you one more time before that made him worry less.

Suddenly Hanji's loud voice interrupted his train of thoughts. She was standing right besides his table, wide grin on her face and next to her was none other than you...smiling. Smiling? Yes, you were smiling. At him no less. Even if this wasn't your most brightest smile, his heart was still thumping hard against his chest, but thanks to his permanent poker face he was able to hide his excitement quite well from the both of you.

"What do you want shitty glasses?"

The woman completely ignored his harsh comment and proceeded telling him about your mission. Not only was your former capitan good in hiding his emotions but he was also pretty good in acting. The whole time Hanji talked he simply nodded and took several glances at you which you failed to notice. She couldn't finish her entire repertoire, thanks to Mike who came over urging you two to get yourselves ready for the departure.

You whispered a quiet 'goodbye' to your former capitan, but before you could follow your superior, Levi suddenly grabbed your wrist. His hold was firm, but also gentle at the same time, it made you unintentionally remember the times he had held you and that only caused your heart rate to quicken.

"(Y/N)...please be careful"

His gentle voice didn't help you with your embarrassment, the only thing it did was worsen it. You refused to look into his face so you just nodded.

Levi sighed, letting go of your wrist as walked past you. The only thing you could do was close your eyes, praying that he didn't see how red your face was.

——

How could this happen?

All you did was turn around in order to look at the countless notes Hanji had thrown on the ground. Who could’ve thought that the Titan would use that short moment to actually grab you?

A small shriek had left your mouth when you felt the enormous hand tightly wrap around your body. Fortunately Erwin had sent you out with some soldiers (just in case) and they didn’t hesitate to come to your aid before the titan squeezed the life out of you. You were saved quickly, but you didn’t come out of that situation unharmed.

——

“What the hell happened?”

Levi was fuming.

The moment he saw Mike and some other soldier carry you on a stretcher, he dropped everything he was working on and was running after them asking question after question, managing to convince Mike to explain everything that had happened.

Seeing humanity’s strongest soldier sitting in front of the nursing room completely hunched over, face buried in his hands was something no one would’ve dared to even dream about so seeing exactly that was beginning to make some soldiers question either their vision or their sanity.

But Levi couldn’t care less about all of that, right now the only thing he cared about was your health. He still had a lot of questions for Mike, but Levi figured that he’d like to hear the rest from the doctors. He didn’t want any motivational lies...all he wished for right now was the hard truth.

“Captain Ackerman, our work’s done.”

Without looking up the captain just let his hands sink and he stood up, eyes still fixated on his shoes. He didn’t utter a single word, but the doctors knew what he wanted so they provided him with exactly that.

“Everything’s fine now. Luckily (Y/N) was brought here quite quickly so we were able to prevent any fatal injury that would’ve resulted from her broken rib.”

The tension immediately left Levi’s body after he took a deep breath, eyes finally facing forward. Once again words weren’t needed, the soldier just walked towards the nursing room’s closed door and opened it as quietly as he could.

——

You slowly came back to your senses due to a sharp pain in your chest, your whole body felt like it had been hit by a gigantic truck and when you recalled what actually got you in this situation in the first place, it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

But there was something else besides pain. You felt a gentle warmth envelop your left hand, making you wonder if that was just your imagination.

So you slowly began opening your eyes and the first thing you saw was the familiar ceiling of the nursery room. With slow movements you turned your head to the left and what you saw stunned you.

The person who was holding your hand and gently circled your knuckles with his fingers was Levi. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts since he still hadn’t noticed you glancing at his profile.

“Levi...”

The sound of your raspy voice immediately made him turn his head and look at you, worry contorting his normally calm facial features.

“(Y/N)...you’re awake. Oh thank god”

Seeing him wrap both of his hands around your own while silently whispering ‘thank you’ multiple times made your heart ache and you could feel how some tears were slowly making your eyes glassy.

“I can’t do this anymore (Y/N). Every single day I’m worried sick when I hear that you’ll be on a mission without having me by your side and today I even warm you to be careful and look what happens! Your broken rib could’ve perforated your lungs or even worse your heart! What would I have done if that happened, huh?!”

Levi raising his voice like that was something you had never seen happening and additionally to that he himself looked like he was about to cry and that made you feel even sadder.

You watched him completely lose his calm composure, watched his poker face being substituted by countless other expressions you had never seen, watched his whole body tremble like a leaf that was being shaken by the wind, watched how his lips moved quicker than ever before and the only thing you could do was slowly get up and embrace him.

Even if your chest still hurt you just ignored the pain and held him tighter against you. His trembling body began calming down until he finally wrapped his arms as carefully as he could around your body to show you that he was now calm enough and that it was fine to let him go, but you refused.

“You’re being unfair (Y/N), embracing me like that and then refusing to let me go. How am I supposed to forget you under these circumstances?”

“Said the person who waited for me to wake up.”

He placed his forehead in the crack of your neck and sighed in defeat, you on the other hand just giggled and gently caressed his back. Somewhere deep inside of you you had missed that warm feeling of his embrace.

“(Y/N)...I love you, I’ve never stopped loving you. Since our fight I’ve been thinking nonstop about you and the things you said to me, made me realize that it was completely wrong of me to use you as my punching bag and I regret it...I really regret it. I even thought that it really might be better for you to not be by my side since I saw how much more cheerful you were compared to back then, but please let me be selfish about one thing. I want you- no...I want us to be back together like before, laugh with each other like before, spend time together like before and most importantly...love each other like before. P-Please...allow me to change everything I did wrong by myself so that I can make you happy again.”

He had no idea just how much it pained you to find out his true feelings, but you were more overjoyed to actually find out that he still loved and wanted you back as much as you wanted him. So you decided to answer him by simply kissing his lips, letting the kiss do all the talking for you, Levi afraid that this would be your last kiss just cupped your face and returned it with the same passion.

When you wanted to separate yourself from him, the man simply whispered a low ‘one more time’ and continued kissing you until his and your lungs gave out.

It was now your turn to answer him, but first you had to catch your breath while he simply continued kissing your face and neck.

“Levi, you have always been on my mind, even after our fight, but I kept on thinking that I had absolutely no right to mourn since I was the one suggesting a breakup. I realized just how lonely I felt without you by my side, but I tried to mask it with fake smiles and laughter, hoping that it would be easier for me to let go of you..but I just couldn’t. And no Levi...I’m not going to allow you to change yourself on your own.”

The man didn’t know if he should be happy or sad since your last statement gave him mixed feelings, but the wide smile you showed him was answer enough.

“You are going to change yourself while standing...by my side.”

[justmewoo]

Legacy [ Avengers x Male Reader] Ch.4

Happy Fourth Of July! Hope you enjoy this chapter! I gotten help from someone to make this story even better!

The rest of the afternoon I spend it by staying inside my room. I stood near the big window of the room and watched the rain fall. I gathered all of my thoughts and memories of everything that's occurred from today and from my last days in 1975. 'I never got to say goodbye to my mother.' I took out my new wallet and took the folded picture of Tony when he was one and stared blankly at the little boy I got to know. 'The Tony from this era is a lot different than the one I came to know. Maybe having too much money changed him. When he was still young he never took any wealth for granted. At times it seemed as if he had no idea he was rich. He thought of himself as any other boy would. 

"Tony hurry up I'm going to be late if we don't leave now." I was downstairs in their house waiting to take him to school before work like every morning but he didn't seem to hurry up. 

"I'm going big brother, just gotta to remember how to tie my shoe laces." Tony was coming down the stairs with his shoes untied. 

I sigh. "Your mother told me you were ready, why are your shoe laces untied. Come on, I'll tie them for you, so hurry we need to leave." I walked over the stairs carried him down. 

"I had to untie them! I want to learn how to do it on my own. So I won't leave this house till I can do it myself." He sat down on the last step focusing intently on his shoes, determined to figure it out. 

I looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was already close to seven thirty. I was supposed to arrive at S.H.I.E.L.D thirty minutes ago. Not to mention Tony is supposed to be in school already. I tap my foot impatiently, trying to keep my cool down. Tony was saying a bunch of funny things in a clear attempt to distract me. I was not having it that morning. I quickly grabbed his school bag and scooped him up onto my shoulders. "What are you doing?" Tony asked me through his giggling. I juggled him on to my neck and held both of his hands with mine, imitating an airplane with the arms and moving here and there. I managed shut the door behind us and we made our way out to the streets. 

"Big brother, not cool! I wanted to tie my shoe laces by myself." He complained. 

"I know buddy but we're running late and if I don't get to work your dad is going to ki- be mad at me," I corrected myself to make my words much more child friendly. "I promise to teach you to tie them today. And I don't want you to be late for school. I always want you to arrive early to any place, always remember that. Arriving late looks bad on someone especially when they're this adorable." I said speed walking down the street. Tony grabbed his small chubby hands on each cheek and bent down to kiss my nose. 

That afternoon I kept my word and had headed back to their house to teach him. 

"Okay buddy this is how you tie a shoe. Take one lace in each hand and make an X. Draw the top lace through the bottom of the X and pull the two laces tight. Then make a loop out of each lace." I showed the example to Tony while he did the same with his shoes. 

"Like this big brother." Tony asked. I nodded my head. 

"Then cross the bunny ears over each other, cross one ear over the other in the opposite order of your overhand knot. Run the bunny ears over each other the bunny runs around the tree by bending one loop over the other. See the bunny jump in a hole now the bunny sees a dog and jumps in the hole because he's scared. Now pass the tip of the bent ear through the hole. Now pull both loops tight with all your strength for extra security you can double the knot by making another overhand knot with the loops and you get a perfect shoe lace tight." I showed him my tie shoe and help him after with his. 

I took a fond look at him while attempting to tie his shoes. He followed the steps slowly before he was able to perform the directions on his own. "I did it big brother." He yelled in happiness. I ruffled his hair. He always got whatever he was taught down so quick. He was a genius, just like his father.

"I didn't think you would do it buddy, this was a complicated version of tying your shoe lace. I learned it when I was away at war when someone I knew taught it to us just for fun. Things could get boring out there," I mused, saying the last bit to myself more than anybody

"It was super easy brother. I'm going to show it to Jarvis and to mom. Thank you so much big brother." He hugged my side and I bent down as always, allowing him to plant a kiss on my cheek. It was a ritual at this point.

"You're welcome buddy." 

_________________________

A knock on the door snapped me back to reality. I quickly placed the photo back inside the wallet, putting it away in my pocket. I walked away from the window.  A quick glance at the mirror showed the offending evidence of my crying. I wiped the tears away with my hands before walking to the door and opened it to see my father standing. 

"Hey, [Fake Name] the rest of the team is here and I thought it would be a great idea to introduce you to them now that you're all settled in."

At this moment all I wanted was to spend time alone with him and learn more about him. To hear the stories I had been told first hand. To experience that son and father bonding that I always wanted to experience. I thought about the question for a few seconds before coming up with an answer. 

"I'm sorry Cap but, I just want to spent some time alone. There's a lot of things going inside my head that I need to clear up. If you can apologize to them for me I would appreciate it." I answered sincerely, guilt clouding my expression. I truly did feel bad about blowing everybody off.

Steve's face expression changed to concern but tried to hide it. "Yeah, I'll uh- let them know. We're going to eat so if you'd like I can save you food for later in case you get hungry."

I thought about it for a moment, gauging my hunger. I could go a night without food easily. After all if I could go 40 years, another few hours wouldn't be too hard. "No it's fine go ahead and eat with the Avengers. I'm not exactly hungry but thanks for the offer Cap." I said reassuring him, a half smile on my face in an attempt to make my self seem more okay than I really was.  

He turned around and left with a sad smile on his face. I watched as he stood in front of the elevator before closing my new bedroom door and returned to the window to watch the rain fall for the first time since I had been frozen. You would think I had gotten enough of the weather after Vietnam.

It's not that I didn't want to eat and come face to face with everybody. It's just hard to look at him without wanting to tell him the truth. I have no other choice but to be distant with him. Thinking about my situation, I didn't realize that I was drifting off. My head hit the pillow and I was out.

___________________________

Steve's Point Of View. 

After leaving [Fake Name]'s room I went downstairs with the team to eat. Not having [Fake Name] come down to eat with us made something inside me made me feel strange, but I tried to ignore the feeling and went down with everyone to enjoy a meal. 

"Cap, what took you so long? Where's the new guy." Rhodey asked, sounding unintentionally harsh as I took a seat in the other side of the table on the left of Sam.

"He didn't want to eat. Said he wasn't hungry and wanted to be alone," I said, voicing my frustration as I serve myself food.

"And that's how we're supposed to get along with him. Even when he doesn't want to come down and meet us?" Asked Sam, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know Sam. This is all new to him it takes some time to adjust. You know how I was when I first woke up. It was like being in an entirely new world." 

"Yeah, but he's from this time, not from the past.  If he's what Fury says he is then he wouldn't have a problem dealing with new people," said Rhodey. I was about to respond back when Wanda and Vision joined us for dinner. 

"What's this about a new guy joining our team." Wanda asked taking a seat next to me, Vision taking his place across the table next to Rhodey. 

"It seems like we have a new guy but seems like he didn't want to come down here. All we know is his name." Natasha answered Wanda's question. 

"I completely understand him. It's not easy adjusting to a new life and to be surrounded by heroes. Does anyone know if he has a family or a reason why he's joining us out of the blue?" She asked but everyone stood quiet. 

"No clue. I haven't even seen the guy." Rhodey spoke in between bites. "We should have asked Fury before he dropped the new kid here, like a scared puppy."

"Whatever the reason, we're going to need all the help we can get. Bruce is gone and we have no clue where he went, and Thor is back in Asgard. It wouldn't hurt to have one more person helping us." I said defending him, eyeing Natasha and everyone else. 

"Steve's right who knows how long this peace will last until a villain decides to show up and attack the city again." Vision spoke, "Statistically, with the pattern shown, it won't be long."

___________________________

I had woken up in the middle of the night to see that I had fallen asleep with my clothes on. The lights where still on so it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the blinding rays of LED lighting. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the time. 1:30 A.M. I stood up and took my shoes off. It was nice to get up and stretch my arms. I felt my joints crack, a noise that would sicken most but simply caused me to groan, the feeling reminding me of being released from the years long sleep.

As I glanced around the room and caught sight of the door that I assumed was the bathroom. I mentally reminded myself to take a nice hot bath the next day. Every joint was stiff and while the stretching helped I couldn't deny that a nice bath would do my body some genuine good. Maybe a nice nap too? I thought of all the luxuries and new experiences I could have and it excited me.

My daydreaming didn't last long. My train of thoughts were broken off as my stomach had groaned. I hadn't since I haven't eaten anything in over forty years. Maybe I couldn't last a night without a meal. 'I want a cheese burger' my thoughts betrayed my earlier statement to Steve.  I remember dad- Steve saying there would be food in the fridge. Maybe I can take a look around since by this time everyone should be asleep.

I went over to the door and opened it slowly before taking a peak outside. Slowly, I walked out closing the door behind me quietly. The lights of the hallways were still on. I walked past my father's- I mean Steve's room and walked to the elevator. The doors soon opened I quickly stepped inside and pressed the buttons on the right side to the first floor where the kitchen is located. I ran my fingers over the shiny buttons, letting myself finally take in the beauty and expanse of how technology had evolved.

The doors ding and open, revealing a quite fancy  kitchen with the lights still on. The tile of the floor and walls was smooth against my hands and feet, not to mention how clean this place is. The cabinets in the walls were a dark brown shade, still showing the grain of the wood it was made of. The counter seems to be made of rock there was all sorts of fruit laying there. On the left side was a big grey oven which I assume they never use because it looks new. They also had a big sink in between the counter. What really shocked me was the gigantic fridge they had on the right side corner. The kitchen was connected with the living room in a way that made them seem to be one whole room. They had a big table in the middle with what I assumed to be modern chairs on all sides. 

"You've never seen a big kitchen before huh kid?" I turned around to see Tony walking in with a few brown bags, a swagger in his step. He placed them on the table. He motioned for me to take a seat so I sat in front of him at the counter, watching him place down the bags and eye them hungrily. 

I shook my head. "No my Ma- I mean in Japan they.... had.... small kitchens... small places." I said praying that's how Japan looked like. 

"Right... Anyways what are you doing up so late." He asked while digging inside the brown bags. Once he opened the bag, a strong smell of sorts hit my nose and made my mouth water, and my stomach growl. Tony must had noticed because he tossed me something wrapped in a yellow paper that I immediately recognized as McDonald's wrapping. The first of the chain restaurant had opened in 55' and quickly spread. The things lasted forever and whenever someone's family sent some we all swore they were better than any rations in Vietnam. "You can have it." I looked down, suspicious it would be some cruel trick. I unwrapped the paper to find a big delicious looking cheese burger. Just like back then. I took a first bite and tasted really good. It tasted like home. Tony got up from the chair and walked over to the kitchen and brought back two small transparent glasses filled with a bit of ice and a strange color of liquid inside them. "Cheers for being the new edition of the team." Tony handed me the glass and took his seat again a strange new smell filled my nose. Whiskey.

"Can I have something else I'm not a big fan of whiskey." I said handing him back the small glass and trying not wrinkle my nose at the strong scent. Tony got up again from the chair and walked over to the kitchen. He returned back with a beer in his hand and placed it in front of me in the table. 

"I hope you like beer because there's only that and water." He said as he began to eat his burger. 

I took a small sip of the beer taking in the taste of it. I was surprises because it didn't contain a painful amount of alcohol. "This beer is pretty good." I commented, trying to act casual around the man I had known as a surrogate little brother.

Tony placed his glass down. "It's everyone's favorite beer around here. It doesn't contain much alcohol because we never know when we might be needed." 

I nodded my head with a hum. "It's really good I almost forgot how a hamburger and beer tasted like. I used to eat these burgers a lot with my little brother." 'Oh crap I wasn't suppose to talk about.' I thought. I froze like a deer in the headlights.

"You seriously need to eat fast food from now on because that's what everyone around here eats. And a little brother huh, it must be nice to have siblings. Growing up an only child can be a bit boring. You can have the other burger that's in here if you want." He said as we continue to eat and drink. I snatch it from the bag, afraid he would change his mind and place it in my lap. He seemed to ignore my slip up as if it were nothing.

He snorts out a laugh and takes a swig of his whisky. "It's like you haven't eaten in years huh? Well its good to be protective of your food here. It's first come first serve at meals"

"Yeah, I have well.... had a little brother. We used to be super close, I was always helping him with things, I used to take him to school and go out to eat at our favorite burger place. But then something happened and I never saw him again." I closed my eyes and took what felt like a painful breath before looking back up and shooting him a weak smile. "So, tell me about you. How was it growing up as an only child where you close with anyone growing up?" I asked in curiously as I finished eating the burger and unwrapped the other, taking a big bite.  

Tony shook his head. "Actually no the only person I was ever close growing up was.... my butler. He's name was Jarvis he was a very nice person always saw him as my father." He took a sip of his drink. 

I stopped eating placing the burger down I tried to hide the sad expression from him but I wanted to ask about what was the relationship between him and Howard like. But I didn't want to ask too much. What threw me off more was he didn't mention me. Was it possible that he had forgotten about me? 

"Earth to [Fake Name]." He asked sitting again on the chair and snapping his fingers in my face. With my sudden spiral stopped I finally started looking at him. He now had a white box filled with food. "Great Cap left some food left over's for me, bless his heart." He took a bite at what seem to be some sort of spaghetti with vegetables. Oh crap I think that was the food he left for me. I decided to let it slide though, Tony somehow seemed hungrier than me.

We continued to talk with one another after we finished eating we decided to call it a night and when to our separate rooms. I almost wish he would kiss my cheek or forehead. I missed the old Tony. Wistfully I returned to my room though and shed my clothes till I was just in my boxers and a soft cotton grey shirt. I flicked off the lights and squirrled myself under the covers as best I could without ruining how well made they were. Curling under the covers that seemed softer than anything I had ever felt, I found myself at peace in the dark, the pitter patter of the rain and the lights of skyscrapers keeping me company until I drifted off again.

[iamsonyeondone]

heir!svt // kim mingyu

♥ fluffy and just a teensy bit angst if you squint

♥ 2.1k words

♥ summary: your inability to cook managed to get yourself a chef as a boyfriend

mingyu was a natural model - photogenic even with whatever he was doing

eating a bowl of ramen?? gorgeous

even he sneezes so charmingly

except the fact that he covers his mouth with his hands and continues touching up wonwoo's hair

and jun just looks at him with this disgusted look on his face

and somehow no one has the guts to say it to his face that he's sometimes really unhygienic

anywAYS

everyone in the school would agree that kim mingyu would still be able to make it into the fashion industry even if he wasn't the heir to his mother's modelling agency

although his mother's agency was ranked one of the best, mingyu has never spoken a word about his background

he didn't have to either because everyone already knew

who wouldnt know him if his mother was one of the most famous models in south korea during her time??

but even with all the attention he received, he was stil a humble bubby who loves his friends and cares for them

even if the 12 of them had maids and chefs to cook their meals, they all agreed that mingyu's cooking was one of the best

it just had the warm homey feeling yknow

and that warm homey feeling is like a tight comfy embrace whenever he sees his friends enjoy his food

and after some time, cooking for them and feeling like he was on cloud nine whenever they made those surprised and happy noises with mouth full of food

it clicks that maybe mingyu didn't want to continue the legacy of being the next top model of south korea

maybe he just wants to own a restaurant where he can cook food that makes people happy

but whenever he tries to bring up the subject, he just sucks it back in and never mentions it

because he knows how much his mother cherishes her career and his possible one if he wants to continue her legacy

and making his parents upset is the last thing he wants to happen

so for all his years up to high school, he never mentions his actual dream and keeps it to himself

that's until he meets you

in the kitchen room alone with a very messy apron and a very bad attempt at cooking spaghetti bologne

and mingyu was just passing by to get his home econs book because he needed to study for an upcoming test

but seeing the frustrated look on your face

and the way your fingers gripped the edge of the table

pushes him to greet you softly and offer help

and your just stunned because kim mingyu is talking to you

even if you guys share at least 3 classes, the both of you never really exchanged words because you guys have completely different friend circles

you preferred to blend in with the crowd than unintentionally stand out which the 13 boys became accustomed to

but mingyu pulls you away from your thoughts as he throws the burnt pasta into a bin and start everything afresh

even if you wanted to feel hurt from seeing your hard work in the trash, you couldnt help but accept the fact that it was literally inedible

"you dont mind if i see the recipe you're trying out?" mingyu questions you with a smile while you show him the page you had been staring holes through

with one look, mingyu nods and begins fetching out some ingredients and placing away others you had used

and youre just like?? but the recipe asked for butter??

and you dont realize you had asked aloud when mingyu chuckles and points to the next page, which was a completely different recipe of spaghetti carbonara

and you turn bright red from embarrassment but mingyu rushes to say that its okay to make mistakes!!

and slowly but surely, as the both of you are cutting ingredients, stirring the sauce while mingyu occasionally gives you tips which you write down

it doesn't feel as awkward

especially when he almost flips the pan onto the floor from accidentally hitting the handle

which nearly burned the both of you

but you brushed it off and burst out laughing, mingyu following suit

because kim mingyu, the model student and an actual model, is actually just a really clumsy yet talented puppy

and after 30 minutes, you place the sauce onto the pile of spaghetti on the plate and mingyu finishes it off with a parsley leaf and some cheese sprinkled over

"we did it!!" you exclaimed, heaving a sigh of relief as you stared at it in amazement

"no you did it, i just helped you prep the ingredients," he chuckled washing his hands and just flicking his wrists into the sink

and not even putting on some soap

wth mingyu you giant full of germs

"nononono put that fork down and use some soap. otherwise the whole plate is for me,"

"but im hungry :(("

"being nasty and using your hunger as an excuse wont work on me- doNT even thINK about giving me puppy eyes"

and after the whole argument, mingyu has his hands squeaky clean and dried and the both of you are just feasting on that one plate of spaghetti

because you made it?? and its edible?? and tastes so good??

"i just need to copy whatever we did today for tomorrow's practical and I'll actually be able to pass," you giggled, washing up and cleaning your counter

while mingyu stashed the ingredients back into their respective places

"i guess you're lucky that i left my home econs book or you would've been doomed,"

"UHMMM speaking of doom,,, do you think you could help me with dessert next?? i was trying to make soufflé but it,,somehow exploded in the oven,"

at this point, mingyu isnt even surprised and simply offers his help once again

but because he had tuition to attend to in the next half an hour

the both of you decided to meet up on thursday at the same room and at the same time

as the both of you walked out of the school grounds side by side, the school's vicinity nearly empty since students were either already left or busy studying,

it was time to split ways by the gate as you thanked him once more

"thank you so much for the help again! I'll promise to treat you to a better meal," you joked, waving goodbye while he mimicked your actions

"you better hold on to that, y/n" he smiled as he chuckled, before turning his heel

but that smile never fades away, even if he wasn't facing you

and somehow thursday seemed so far away

while there you were, patting your rosy cheeks to settle down as you rushed to catch your next bus

thursday comes and mingyu arrives before you, his own apron over his broad shoulders and everything is prepared

from the ingredients to the appliances and,,, does his hair look a lot more neater than usual???

"You're earlier than i expected," you joked, slinging your bag off your shoulders while he showed you that irresistibly adorable smile

damn it why is your heart reacting so much

you only started talking to him a few days ago

"soufflé is a pretty sophisticated dessert yknow. and well,,, its also because i just ended home econs class," he rubbed the nap of his neck shyly

you flipped your recipe book to the soufflé page and picked out a pen to take your notes

"shall we start, chef?" you inquired, tying your apron until a pair of hands surround yours

"not until we secure this in place," he mumbled, gently tugging the ropes from your grasps and tying it tightly around you "lets get started then!"

and youre just standing there, all red in the face and unsure of what you're supposed to do next while mingyu preheats the oven

but you snap out of it when he nearly hits the ceramic bowl off the counter

and you're lucky enough that it falls into your palms just as you reached out for it

"maybe i should've asked someone else to teach me..."

"stOp huRting my feeLingS :(("

"I'll stop when you stop trying to break anything around you,"

and he just hmphs and gives you the side eye but eventually burst out laughing when you're veryyy confused on what you're supposed to do next

and you look so adorable with your brows furrowrd from concentration and the way your lips naturally pout

and his heart unknowingly swells

"I'll prepare the next few ingredients while you continue stirring, and make sure not to overdo it either,"

and you follow his instructions closely and once he was done, mingyu has this proud smile on his face and he's,,, radiating sunlight

how can someone look so endearingly towards you??

"you'll be as good of a chef as i am once we're done with this soufflé!!"

"oh! you wanna be a chef?"

and when the subject suddenly takes a turn towards ambitions, his smile falters and it feels like the weight of his visible sadness is falling on you

and your chest tightens at the sight of him, no longer smiling as wide as he did seconds before

"I'm sorry mingyu, i shouldn't have brought it up i-"

"n-no dont apologize, it isnt your fault at all. i shouldnt have gotten so emotional in the first place"

and as much as he's trying to replicate that shining smile, it just,,, doesnt seem as sparkling as it did

“i know we’re not that close but i was told that im a pretty good listener. if you want to tell me that is,”

mingyu looks at you and the sincerity in your eyes urges him to spill every word out of him 

“I’ve liked cooking ever since i was allowed in the kitchen, cooking with the maids and helping them with whatever step i could do. but the thing is,,, i’m not sure if my mom would allow me to pursue such a thing,”

“why not?”

and the questions throws him aback a bit because he’s never really asked his mother about his dreams

and it didn’t seem like she was very persistent on getting him into the modelling industry

so why didn’t he tell her?

“i guess,, i was just a coward.” he chuckled nervously

you placed your hand above his, hoping in some way that you’re presence comforts him

“maybe you should try and discuss about it with your mom soon. we are going to graduate soon afterall,”

and mingyu’s heart is about to leap right out of his chest

because he’s never met such a person who’s so caring towards him and genuinely worries about him even though you guys just barely met

and his toothy grin crawls back onto his lips and it feels like everything is back to the way it is

“let’s finish this up before we break another bowl,” you joked as mingyu guiltily agreed

the end product of the souffle melted in your mouth like fluffy clouds

and your hopes of actually getting a good grade for home econs is stronger than ever

and that meant that you owed mingyu a whole lot, especially with the numerous tips he had given you

“you don’t have tuition after this right?”

“mm no? why did you ask?”

“let’s go then!!”

and you grab him by the hand and miraculously drag his tol bod to your favourite restaurant

as the both of you stood in front of an average food stall, unlike the one that mingyu frequented with his mother

you shone a bright smile towards him and grab two seats for the both of you

“this place has one of the best dishes and at such an affordable price?? it’s crazy how it’s not packed with customers!” you shook your head as a waitress hands you their menu

but it doesn’t even take you a minute to start ordering

and you order a bunch of dishes 

and when i mean a bunch, i meant like 2 whole tables covered in food

“y/n, i dont think the both of us can finish this up on our own...”

“dont underestimate me you giant >:[”

and the both of you magically finished the whole thing

but like you guys are about to sleep for a whole week because of the food coma and now the two of you are at your seats, dazed and sleepy

“next time we come here, we’re NEVER getting more than  we can chew,”

“there’s a next time?”

“yeah you owe me two times-”

“it’s a date then, giant,”

maybe if it werent for that food coma, you would have been a little more careful with your words

but at least now you got a super good looking, talented boyfriend ;))

[toglidethroughlife]

Draw me like one of your French girls

Pairing: Kenji x F!MC (Alex)

Category: Fluff/Humor

Summary: Coffee shop AU in which Alex can’t help but sketch her cute coffee shop crush and— wait, is he posing for her?

A/N: Dedicating this to @kenjkats because I’ve been a horrible tease lol. (Thank you ko na rin to for doing my request hehe, salamat bb!

Also tagging the awesome @maxattack-powell for encouraging this silly piece. I hope you guys like this! :)

—

On Wednesdays, Alex likes to have lunch at the coffee shop.

Things are pretty busy at the office with The Grand’s reopening, so she loves to steal some time alone whenever she can, using the time to relax and refocus her goals for the week.

She loves winding down with a few sketches here and there while she eats, the cafe almost calmingly serene, her window-side seat providing her plenty of inspiration.

Sometimes it’s the tree on the corner of the street, its leaves a bright shade of green. Sometimes it’s the cat that keeps visiting the cafe at that hour, napping and ducking out of the high sun. Sometimes it’s the old couple that passes by occasionally, hands linked together, small smiles on their faces.

Today, it’s dark hair and chiseled features that inspire her, the handsome new face in the cafe catching her eye.

This isn’t the first time she’s noticed him — no, if she’s being honest with herself, he’s been on her radar for a while, always sitting a few tables in front of her, granting her easy access to all his red jacket-ed, smirking glory.

He always had that on, she noticed. The subtlest hint of a smirk on his lips, his head cocked a certain angle.

He must think a lot of himself, she thinks as she tries to capture his smirk on paper, her mind unintentionally recalling all the times he’d thrown that half-smile, half-smirk at the waitresses serving him.

… not that she’d been paying attention.

No, she’s just observant.

She steals another glance at him and thinks about how she couldn’t really blame him, her pencil tilted as she shades in the last of his lips.

The man has a good smile, she thinks, an almost alluring quality to it, the slightest hint of a challenge behind them.

Alex comes to a stop, her fingers tightening around her pencil, the realization that she’d just finished a full portrait of a complete stranger bringing a confused furrow to her brow.

She impulsively tears the sheet out of her notebook, contemplating what to do with it.

Her phone’s ringing shakes her out of her thoughts.

“Where the hell are you?!” Marjorie’s voice blares in her ear. “Grayson needs you.”

Oh… crap.

She scrambles as she realizes the time, sloppily arranging her things as she bids Marjorie goodbye, shoving her planner, her notes, and her sketches together on her left arm, her bag slung on her right.

In her rush, she almost bumps into the waitress coming up on her right, avoiding her by a few inches… only to hit smack against someone’s arm on her left.

She doesn’t even really see how it happens; just hears the sound of her notebooks hitting the floor with a thud.

Shit.

Alex scrambles to collect her things, the man in front of her bending down to help her.

She almost gets a heart attack when she sees who it is.

His grey eyes meet hers and his lips curl into a soft smile — not a smirk, she notes — the image a tempting sight to get lost in.

“Thanks,” she manages to say, unable to break eye contact as she accepts her papers, her fingers a strange mess of nerves.

“You’re welcome,” he says as they both stand, his hand lingering on the sheets of paper.

He drops them with an sheepish grin, his hand flying to the back of his neck.

She finds herself returning the smile before ducking her head down as she bids him goodbye, clutching tightly onto her things as her mind begins replaying the events of the last fifteen minutes.

—

“IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING, OH MY GOOOOD,” Alex screams, hiding her face in one of Poppy’s throw pillows.

Poppy laughs, pulling the pillow from Alex, tucking it in her own lap instead.

They were chilling in her apartment, wine glasses now almost empty after Alex had told her about her afternoon.

“Let me get this straight. You have a crush on this guy in the cafe, who you’ve been seeing for weeks now, but you two have never talked, and yet somehow you know that he has the most beautiful grey eyes and you just had to draw them…

“Right, not creepy at all.”

Alex steals her pillow back, lightly smacking it against her friend as she does.

“I’m not crushing on him!” Alex points out defensively. “I just… think he’s cute.”

“So cute that you just had to bump into him,” she winks.

“You’re not helping!” Alex groans in frustration, leaning back against the couch.

Poppy laughs teasingly, scooting closer to her friend. “Okay, okay. Fine. Can I see your crazy stalker sketch, at least? I wanna see these enchanting grey eyes of yours.”

Alex scowls at her — which just makes Poppy laugh some more — before reaching for her bag.

Her pulse races as she goes through her things — opening up her notebooks, going through loose sheets — the very specific sketch she was looking for nowhere to be found.

“Are you okay?” Poppy asks, and Alex’s eyes fill with dread at the realization that it’s nowhere in her bag.

No. Freaking. Way.

—

Alex returns to the coffee shop next Wednesday, wary as she walks through the glass doors.

Her eyes immediately dart to her usual seat, relief rushing through her as she takes in the lack of red leather jackets in the cafe. She tells herself to ignore the sliver of disappointment threatening to peek through, settling into her seat with her usual coffee and sandwich.

She pulls out her notebook and finds herself staring at the jagged remains of her missing notebook page, her eyes doing another quick scan across the room, landing inevitably on the pair of grey ones who’ve just entered the cafe.

Her breath catches and his smile softens, the knowing glint in his eye scaring her a bit as he turns to the counter to order.

She quickly averts her gaze, turning back to the blank sheet in front of her.

Alex, relax.

He comes here every week like you do. Today is no different.

Chill.

She takes a deep breath and exhales, the red-jacketed man coming into her peripheral vision as he takes a seat at his usual spot, two tables in front of her.

Again, this is normal, she tells herself, taking a bite out of her sandwich and chewing fast, the idea of returning to her office desk suddenly more attractive.

She’s just about done with her meal when she catches a glimpse of him, his face turned towards the window, eyes closed as if to drink in the sunlight.

Uh… what?

The sunlight hits his features beautifully, touching the planes of his face, the bridge of his nose, the corners of his mouth which have turned up ever so slightly. His eyes open and he looks at her dead on, not even the least bit surprised to find her looking at him, a challenging smirk spreading wide on his lips.

He turns his head to the side once more, bringing his hand up so that his chin rests on his palm, staring out the window while his laptop sits in front of him, his expression “seemingly” deep in thought.

Alex’s eyebrows knit together.

Is he… posing?

… Huh.

Okay. I’ll bite.

She flips to a clean sheet on her notebook, thoughtful as she maps out his features on paper, subsequently biting her lips as an idea pops into her head.

It doesn’t take long before she thinks she’s got a decent enough sketch to show him, tearing out the sheet from her notebook.

She stands before she can second-guess herself, the look of utter surprise on his face doing wonders for her ego.

Alright, smirky boy. Let’s see what you’ve got.

He’s recovered past his flustered state when she reaches his table, casually inviting her to sit down with a slight nod of his head.

“I believe you have something that belongs to me,” she starts as soon as she’s seated, hopeful that her voice doesn’t start cracking. “I’m here to ask for it back.”

She bites back a satisfied grin when he doesn’t deny having it.

“Straight to the point, huh? I like that.“

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out what is unmistakably a sheet from her notebook, now neatly folded into an eighth of its size.

Its corners show signs of wear, but the neat way it’s been folded tells her it’s been cared for by its new keeper.

Interesting.

"So,” his voice brings her attention back to his face. “What do I get in return?”

She quirks an eyebrow in amusement, lips pursed as she gages what to make of his tone. “Excuse me?”

"It is my face, after all. I feel like I should get something in return.”

She notices him eyeing the folded sheet in her hand, curiosity piqued.

She leans in and brings the sketch between them, offering it to him.

He accepts, not once breaking eye contact as his hands unfold the sketch, smirking before his eyes dart down.

Alex watches the smirk fall off his face.

The sketch shows a toonier version of him, a smirk on his lips as he admires his reflection on the window, eyes gazing appreciatively. There are three bubbles on the upper right side of his head, five words written inside them.

“Damn. Lookin’ good today, eh?”

Alex is almost worried until he bursts out laughing, one hand flying up to cover his face.

“Okay, I deserve this,” he admits, chuckling still as he looks at the drawing. “You even got my good side,” he hums appreciatively. “My jawline looks sharp.”

Alex watches him laugh with amusement, trying to decide if he’s being cute or a little nuts.

How is it that he’s even more attractive right now?!

He looks up from the sheet with delighted eyes.

“Here,” he says, returning Alex’s original sketch to her. “I gotta admit, I was a little worried you were ignoring me earlier. You were very, um, focused on your sandwich.”

“Ha,” she laughs nervously. “Right. It was, uh, a good sandwich.”

Their eyes meet and they’re both silent for a minute, slow smiles spreading on their faces.

“Got any room left for dessert?” he asks, fingers fidgeting with the sketch in his hand. “I hear this place makes an excellent molten lava cake.”

He flashes her a charismatic grin. “On me, of course.”

Alex feigns suspicion, but his eyes squint with delight, beaming at her. “Is this your reward for returning my sketch? If so, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who should be paying.”

He laughs, leaning in slightly. “Nah, I’d say your company’s the real reward here.”

Alex feels her cheeks flushing before they both break into chuckles, heads ducking down before they both meet again.

“You’re not one for subtlety, are you?” Alex asks.

He grins at her brightly. “I don’t like leaving good things to chance.”

His gaze holds hers in place, a tinge of sincerity behind his cheesy line.

“So, how about that cake?”

Alex smiles. “Sure. But I don’t share cake with strangers.” She extends her hand out to him. “I’m Alex.”

She doesn’t miss how his smile grows with relief.

“Kenji. Kenji Katsaros.”

[sugirandom]

365 days of writing: day 259

Day 259: Goodbye party

      Good afternoon, a little head’s up that this entry might be a tad long so it’s not a quick read but feel free to keep reading anyway.  Yesterday was my last day of work so at lunchtime my boss bought me some Chinese food for lunch. He also paid for half of the meals for my coworkers and we all sat together to eat and joke around once the food came. My boss had to rush off to a board meeting about an hour after we were done meeting so when he offered me a certificate of appreciation it was a little rushed but he shook my hand and thanked me for everything. My stepdad also handed me a card that everyone at the office wrote little messages on. I was pretty touched and if they had fussed too much more I’m sure I would’ve gotten emotional but i managed to keep calm. I did make sure to thank everyone and they all wished me well. The only negative thing that happened at work was a spat between two of the secretaries that erupted so badly that the deputy director was unable to mediate a solution for them and my boss had to talk to them both via the office phone. They had the door closed so I couldn’t hear what was said but I could hear a bit of the argument since it got a little loud.

        This morning mom and stepdad took me to my last followup with my chest surgeon. The ride there was pretty bumpy and I think mom’s manic depression is getting worse. She had no problem sharing with me how much she’s been crying over the fact that I’m leaving and that she’s going to the doctor to get her medicine adjusted at the same time as telling me not to feel upset or guilty, that she just wants to let me know. The rest of the way there she pretty much talked the whole time and at one point was imitating tire screeching noises when my stepdad made sharp turns and had started slapping her knees until he took her hand and told her to stop. She was falling apart the last time I went to Japan but I think this time she’s letting it get to her a little too much. I guess in her current state of health she doesn’t have the mental power to fight it. She even missed her hair appointment thinking it was next week (she also thought my appointment was next week until yesterday) so I’m not going to lie when I say I’m a bit concerned but really there’s nothing I can do about it.

   My appointment went well, my surgeon was so happy to see that a lot of my scar is barely visible and was making a big fuss over me. She wanted to get rid of an area that’s swelled but since she said it might go away on it’s own and I’m going to Japan in two weeks and wouldn’t be able to come in if the shot she gives me affects me badly I decided to decline her offer to give me one today. She agreed that that was the best course of action and said I can come in once I’m back from Japan if it’s bothering me by then. We went to lunch after my doctor’s appointment and then my parents took me home. When I first got home I took a shower and then played Sims 4 for a little bit. Heath finally achieved his aspiration by maxing out his logic skill and it’s about time considering my game alerted me to the fact that his time is almost up. I got Jewel up to her toddlerhood and my prediction turned out to be correct, she has black hair so I guess Ian is the last in his family to have red hair unless I manage to get to the next generation before I go and it appears again but I highly doubt both of those things. Anyway, things got a little crazy with Jewel as a toddler because she’s a fussy one and for whatever reason the sims don’t always listen to my commands so when I try to get them to take care of her they get distracted or rather just feed themselves while the game alerts me that Jewel is starving and threatens to take her away. It’s a lot of hard work for me and I think part of the reason it’s so tough is that there are 5 family members and they tend to get in each other’s way a lot of times. Whitney has been lending a hand with Jewel when Heath and Clara get too stressed. I ended with only four days left till Jewel becomes a toddler so hopefully the struggle will end soon. I still don’t know who brought toddlers back to Sims 4, I don’t care if it’s unnatural I didn’t miss toddlers at all.

   Anyway, I finally got back to Dragon Ball Z and watched episodes 51 and 52. I think they got too rushed with drawing Vegeta in these episodes and I was so sad because I praised them for how he looked in 50 (other than his nose, as I mentioned earlier). Oh well, anyway I found out the Namekian kid with them is named Dende but I had a feeling it was him, I think I saw him before in a fancomic. It was good to see Kaio again in episode 52 and Piccolo’s unintentional pun was the best part of the episode in all honesty. I’ll even forgive the part that there’s inconsistency with the dialogue between episode 51′s end and episode 52. They literally end up having the same conversation with Goku twice, and not in the recap, so I guess someone forgot that Yamcha already spoke to Goku at the end of episode 51 and unintentionally redid the conversation...I...pick your favorite version of it I guess? It actually is part of the watching experience for me so it’s all good.

     I watched episode 8 of Kakegurui and it was pretty enjoyable. This episode managed to be less sexually provocative at least and it seemed to be making a commentary on popular JPOP idols and Youtube at the same time so I actually appreciate that quite a bit. I haven’t seen an Anime mention Youtube yet (don’t worry it was “Yourtube”) so it was fun for me. I guess at this point I’m going to briefly check into Glenn’s RP blog and then I have to log out to cook some dinner. We got Chicken Katsu in our meals this week but since Poppy’s not here I have to make it alone. I might play more Sims 4 tonight but I’m not entirely sure yet. At some point I need to look at my new external drive and figure out what I have to put on it from my PC but I don’t think I feel up to that tonight. I also one day...might get back to writing some of my stories but IDK when...eventually I guess. I’ll try to at least write something related to them at some point and now that I have my files back I can recover what I thought would be lost of my notes.

[fayvie]

NEEHU Monday: Ignorance is Bliss

Monday began with the absolute strangest feeling in the air. A stagnant feeling like everyone was waiting to exhale. It felt so quiet, and I almost was afraid to look at my phone, because I knew that all I’d see was messages over Skype and Discord about people leaving or preparing to leave, and I didn’t want to deal with that yet. At the same time, because I booked my flight to leave early Tuesday, I relished the comfort of my bed, and the knowledge that I had one more day with many of my friends, and at least a few hours with others before they had to leave.

I was in no hurry to dress up today, unlike the rest, so I hung around in pajamas and set up in the living room with my laptop, starting to catch up on tumblr and process my thoughts on the weekend (and start my recaps!). It was very therapeutic to me, immediately re-living those moments and experiences a second time made it feel like it had never ended. I guess I’m still doing that now, in a way. I realize the recaps are so painfully self-indulgent, but they really do act as a form of con aftercare for many of us, being able to look back and genuinely appreciate how special all of these moments were to all of us. That being said, I completely respect and understand those who choose not to write about it, and keep those moments private and treasured in their own way. All the power to you!

Eventually @sebsteerpike ended up at my doorstep once more, beginning the unloading of all his luggage into my room. Since @travisthehypnotizedpuppy would be leaving today, a bed opened up, and we decided to squish in more people to help save money. We cuddled on the couch for a while, we kissed, he pulled my hair, we just enjoyed each other's company so much, and nothing about the repetition felt dull.

He had to get his room cleared out before check-out, but I was sooo comfortably half napping on his chest at one point, so he hypnotized me to feel as though the pillows he placed would have the same feeling. I suddenly had no issues dozing off once more (until abrupt knocking at the door, when @sebsteerpike’s room key malfunctioned and I had to get up to let him back in. How dare he ruin my nap with my seb-pillows.)

We caught wind that a large group of people were leaving shortly, but still hanging out in the lobby. Many people were going to a munch to spend the afternoon with people for the last time before going home, but at this point I felt so socially burnt out (and ill) that the idea of staying in and relaxing was much more compelling. Regardless, we ran downstairs to say our goodbyes to so many awesome people. I felt the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach that reminded me that the con was ending, but I pushed it down and put on the biggest smile I had. I realized how many people I was so happy to meet and see, and really wished I had more time to spend with (as every con ever goes). 

I had such a blast rooming and hanging out with @travisthehypnotizedpuppy, and it sucked that he had to go home on Monday instead of getting stuck with the rest of us. We’ve been friends for coming up to 4 years now, and we’ve only hung out in person twice, and this time we had way more opportunity to chill, chat, and slap eachother once in a while.

As a sidenote, I hope to do a separate post after these are over to properly address the people who really deserve mention that I can’t fit into these posts!

Back to my room, I flopped back into the comfort of as many pillows as I could horde. Seb and I were joined by @sex-obsessed-lesbian, @meltinggoldanddippingthingsinit, @hypnokittencalico, and @enscenic, and we all reminisced over the highlights of the weekend, discussed travel plans, and just chatted about things in general. It was a nice chance to hang out without the pressure of actually “doing something” being a thing. I used this time to write, for the most part. As people started peeling off to go to the airport, it started to hit me that people’s flights were getting cancelled from the impending weather. I felt horrible for those stuck at the airport, or halfway home without a plan B, and somehow in my fractionation-addled brain, it never even occurred to me what impact it could have on flights actually scheduled on the day of Storm Stella. More on that later!

In hindsight, @sebsteerpike and myself legitimately did spend nearly all of the day on that couch, and it was absolutely perfect. It was just about dinner time so we started plotting out what we’d do, and I was really looking forward to a quieter, intimate sit-down meal with Seb and @enscenic. We ended up on a barbeque restaurant not far off of the hotel, and the whole ambiance of the strip mall containing the restaurant felt slightly ghost-towny, signs up on doors “We will be closed tomorrow due to the Storm. We apologize for the inconvenience”. Did I get it yet? Nope? Oh well, maybe later.

Dinner was awesome. I hadn’t had the time I wanted to really sit down with @enscenic yet, so it was nice to just chat and compare stories from the convention. @sebsteerpike was an absolute gentleman and picked up the tab as we made our way back with 3 boxes of leftovers.

My flight was at 6am the next morning. It finally occurred to me to check to see if it was delayed at all. No e-mails regarding changes, but I looked up the code and found that the flight was cancelled. Well fiddlesticks. 2.5 hours on the phone and some vodka later, I found myself speaking to someone that could help and managed to change my flights to the same thing, one day later. I was venting about the whole process via Skype in some of the post-NEEHU conversations, and freaking out about the hotel situation, as we now had 5 adults stuck and no confirmation on getting a room. This is when @tennfan2 came to the rescue and helped me find a hotel where we could split our group into sane numbers and not turn on each other halfway through the snowstorm. Thank you again for your calm heroics when I was frantic and going a bit nuts, I appreciate it so so much!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy when I found out that @sebsteerpike and the group driving back to Chicago wouldn’t be able to leave the next morning due to highways being blocked off. I know it’s selfish, but it meant I got an EXTRA-extra day. We took this moment to celebrate the fact that 5 friendly hypno-kinksters would be stuck in Connecticut during a snowstorm, and the reality that it was working out pretty well for all of us, all things considered. I’m really relieved that my work was understanding and covered for me not being able to be back in time, woohoo unintentionally extended vacation!

I know this post has been a whole lot of things that probably aren’t interesting to anyone but me, so I will happily go into a bit of a sexy tangent that took place near the end of the night. Unfortunately it’s been long enough now that the exact details have been lost to time, but some moments really stood out.

@sebsteerpike and myself were spooning in bed, and my hypno-egg was turned on ahead of me, on the nightstand. I was watching it glowing, shifting, drawing my attention in with every colour. I remember dropping into trance and feeling so good and horny. I remember straddling him and kissing him as much as possible, my hair falling in both of our faces. I vividly remember the incredibly erotic combination of his hand in my hair, pulling my roots back which made me incredibly fuzzy, and the sharp pain of him slapping the opposite cheek, both sensations making me feel like an absolute puddle. Ever since then, I catch myself desperately craving that combination, daydreaming about it very often.

After some more fun, we fell asleep so easily (or at least I did, I was out too fast to really tell), resting up as much as possible before the Dawn of SNOHU.

Next up: SNOHU! Hypno Scouts Lightning Rounds, and deep relationship conversations and cuddles.

[supercorps-imaginesetc]

Can I request a jealous Kara x Reader fanfic? Like before they started dating and all which made Kara confessing (about her love and the fact she's jealous) and blushing like crazy and the reader would be like 'really he/she liked me?' before comforting Kara that she's the only one the reader liked back. ^_^

we can dance in slow motion

Masterlist

Words: 784

Warnings: slight angst and then fluff

I’ve been wondering for a while how many regular male readers we have because of requests like these. It just says reader but later refers to the reader as a she. Like- I appreciate that people are okay with reader neutral stuff. I try not to bring to much attention to the reader’s gender (unless of course it focuses on that like a trans reader request), but it’s hard sometimes because both Cam and I are female. So like… male readers tell me if I’m excluding you! That was today’s gender rant with Admin Lily, thanks for reading!

P.S. I also don’t know if I did this prompt exactly right. The wording was a little strange.  -Admin Lily

You were hanging with Lena again, having lunch. After moving to National City, you had started working at CatCo and met Kara there. You became fast friends and she soon introduced you to many of her other friends. Lena was one of those. She had just made the most hilarious joke and you were laughing hard when Kara enters.

Kara was looking forward to having lunch with her best friend and potential love interest, but her mood quickly changed as she watches you interact with Lena. As you threw your head back laughing, you couldn’t see Lena but Kara could. Lena had a sparkle in her eye as she stared at your elated expression. Kara could recognize that look as one of attraction after seeing it on herself for so long. 

Kara felt herself clench her fists unintentionally and grind her teeth together. That should be her making you laugh and making you happy, not Lena. She approaches the two of you and sits down next to you quickly. You look up, surprised at Kara sudden arrival and her lack of greeting.

“Hey, Kara!” you say brightly. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

Lena smiles at Kara. “We were worried when you said you had urgent business to take care of.”

Kara forces herself to smile back. Lena was her friend too, she shouldn’t get mad at her just because she was jealous. But… it was hard not to.

“Yeah, something just… came up,” she said, trying to think of a good excuse. What had actually ‘came up’ was a bank robbery, so Kara sent you a quick text she might be late and stopped it. 

“That’s okay,” you reassure her. “We’ve only gotten drinks. You should really hear this joke that Lena just told me!”

—————–

By the end of lunch, Kara is about to just fly out of her seat from frustration. It seemed like the whole meal was just you and Lena exchanging stories and flirting. Lena was obviously laying on the charm, but you were oblivious to it. Every time Kara wanted to speak up or join the conversation, it seemed that was the exact moment you started talking. She didn’t want to interrupt you, so she just stayed quiet. But now it’s the end of lunch, and Kara and you are saying goodbye to Lena.

“See you around Lena,” you say while waving. 

Kara less enthusiastically waves as well. “Bye Lena.”

Lena says goodbye and you and Kara walk together, but Kara is still angry. She fumes quietly as you walk with her back to CatCo, and you start to get a little nervous. 

“Kara, is something wrong?” 

The woman in question looks at you, and her expression softens immediately. “No, nothing’s wrong. Not now anyways.”

You look at her, tilting your head to the side in confusion. “What was wrong then?”

“I was jealous.”

It comes out quickly as if Kara’s mind didn’t have time to filter anything before she spoke. This is probably true by the way that Kara stares at you in horror after speaking.

“You… were jealous,” you say slowly, making sure those were the words that actually came out of her mouth. Why would Kara be jealous… did she like Lena? You wait anxiously for her response.

“I was jealous,” Kara admits. “Lena just kept talking and was trying to flirt with you and ugh I just want to-”

“You were jealous of Lena,” you say with wide eyes, amazed. 

“Well, yeah,” Kara says. “Who else would I be- whoa, wait. Did you think I was jealous of you?”

You blush and stammer an answer, “Well, Lena is a very lovely woman and-”

“Yes, I know,” Kara interrupts irritated. “She is very… lovely.”

Staring at Kara, you can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong until you realize that Kara was once again jealous of Lena.

“Kara,” you start, “I’m not dating Lena, nor do I want to.”

The blonde rolls her eyes. “But she wants to date you.”

You’re shocked by her words. 

‘Lena actually… likes me like that!” you think, but quickly push it away from your mind. Kara was here… and she apparently liked you!

“I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore,” Kara says sadly. “Since, you know, you probably don’t like me like that and it would make our relationship uncomfortable and-”

“Kara, I like you too,” you say, and then blush as Kara stares at you in shock.

“Really?” Kara asks. “What about Lena? She’s-”

“I told you, I don’t like Lena,” you interrupt her again. “I like you, and you’re the only one I like like this. I promise.”

You seal your promise with a kiss.

[remeny-writes]

Roses are red, Violets are Adored

I’m so sorry for the wait! Enjoy this pointless filler chapter! lol

Chapter 161

Adore’s Point of view

I smiled as I waved goodbye and clicked the off button on facetime. I yawned again. I guess I should take the time well I know Violet has company to have a nap. I put the computer on the table and stretched out on the sofa bed. Then I rolled on my side and fell asleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow as they say.

I woke up four hours later. I hadn’t meant to sleep so long but as I turned to say sorry to Violet for oversleeping I noticed that they were sound asleep on their bed. I didn’t know how long they had been asleep or how I hadn’t heard them come in but I did notice Lucy reading the book she was reading last night.

Lucy noticed I was awake mostly because Lucy notices everything. She smiled and pulled out her phone.

Lucy-good morning sunshine!

Me-why y'all keep stealing my line?

Lucy-sorry not sorry!

Me-sometimes, I regret showing you season five of drag race. You’ve picked up way too many of Detox’s catchphrases

Lucy-You never let me have any fun! I’ve had it, OFFICIALLY

me-you are totally incorrigible!

Lucy-I know and you know that you love it!

Me-I totally do! I am so glad that I’ve met you.

Lucy-I am glad I met you too! Not many people can say that they have shared a room with two internationally famous entertainers! And more importantly awesome people!

Me-we are not really famous, we are GAYmous!

Lucy-very funny you!

Me-how long have they been asleep?

I looked at them again and sure enough they were hooked up to their afternoon chemo. The remnants of a lunch tray were on the table, a plastic dome over the plate

Lucy-about an hour and a half

me-and that they ate something? Sorry I know that you’re not responsible for them. I’m just wondering cause you seem to notice everything

Lucy-yeah I think they ate most of the sandwich and drank an ensure and I think they had a bite or two of the jello or whatever it is. Mystery gelatinous substance… it could’ve been pudding. I don’t know.

Me-you didn’t eat?

Lucy- I wasn’t feeling up to it. I’m gonna order something later probably. I think my body is preparing itself again for more chemo. :(

me-oh that sucks! I’m sorry babe. At least you aren’t alone.

Lucy-I’m kind of used to being alone but it’s nice to have company. Well hopefully… I mean who likes company that ralphs a lot?

Me-I don’t mind and I’m pretty sure Violet doesn’t either!

Lucy-that’s good. I will order something in a bit. As I think you noticed yesterday, I’m a little thin.

Me-thin? You? I hadn’t noticed.

She looked up at me and I smiled.

Lucy-you’re so full of shit your eyes are brown!

Me-Aw you noticed my eyes! How is the book?

Lucy-just as addictive as yesterday! thanks for closing the book and saving my place last night.

Me-no problem I know how frustrating it is when you lose your place in a book!

Lucy-you like to read?

Me-well I haven’t before but I do now. We haven’t really been your roommates for too long but Vi and I often take turns reading Harry Potter books out-loud.

Lucy- awww that’s so fucking cute

Me- yeah it kinda is, isn’t it?

Lucy- totally. I gotta go to school soon, are you gonna be ok by yourself because I can stay here.

Me- oh no you don’t Missy! Did you get all your homework done?

Lucy- yep.

Me- good!

Lucy- yep lol

Me- smart-ass

Lucy grinned widely from her bed.

Lucy- YEP!! Have you eaten anything today?

Me- nope not yet. I’m not really hungry.

Lucy- too bad, so sad, go get something while I’m still here. There is gingerale and chocolate milk and cheese and crackers in the little caregivers kitchenette. I know because I sneak in there sometimes. I mean I know they are an adult and don’t need someone with them all the time but it’s no fun to wake up with no one to talk to 

Me- true, ok I’ll be right back.

I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were some sandwiches in the back so I grabbed an egg sandwich and a can of gingerale. It was nice, there was a bunch of good Samaritans who came by every few days to drop off some food for the parents and other caregivers. What they brought tended to vary depending on who was preparing the food. I didn’t often take advantage of it because I’m not a parent. I don’t have a child that I can’t be away from. Me not being away from Vi was as much for my comfort as it was for them.

I tried to think the last time I ate, it was last night with my Mom and even then, I didn’t eat much I just wasn’t hungry. I was averaging a meal a day and a shit tonne of coffee and I knew I needed to start eating more regularly. I just didn’t really want to. I knew people were worried about me but I wish they wouldn’t because Vi should be getting people’s attention, not me. Plus I have my hog body to nourish me when I forget to eat.

I went back to the room just as Lucy was getting ready to head out. She was using her crutches, her oxygen backpack looked bigger than her.

“Hey do you need me to carry your books?” I whispered.

“Aw so gallant! No I just have to take this,” She whispered back, holding a slim folder. “I have another set of books in the classroom.”

“Oh that’s a really good idea!”

“I thought it was too when they suggested it when I started to use my crutches. I tried using a bag but it threw me off kilter too much. The folder is pretty light and I put my work into a binder I keep there in my cupboard.”

“You guys got it all worked out!”

“I think we got most of it so far.”

“Good. I’m glad you can go to school now.”

“Oh me too, I hadn’t been to school since I was 12 before they pulled me from the compound.”

“Yikes.”

“Amen to that! Bye Danny, you eat that!”

“Yes Mother!” I said, saluting her and she giggled quietly.

I folded in the sofa and sat down with a soft ooof, I unwrapped the sandwich carefully, opening the ginger ale. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was, I downed almost all of the can and then buried my face in the pillow and let out a huge burp.

I held my breath. Vi slept on. Whew.

I nibbled on the corner of the sandwich, I ate around the crust first. It tasted like cardboard in comparison to my Mama’s sandwiches but nothing could really compare to them. I got most of the way through the first half but I just couldn’t finish it. Maybe my stomach has shrunk? Is that possible? I threw the rest in the bin and downed the rest of the ginger ale. I should have gotten some water from the water and ice machine. I really should take better care of myself but I didn’t want to leave them alone in case they had a nightmare again. I wouldn’t forgive myself if that happened!

Of course, once I started thinking about how thirsty I was, it got so much worse. Luckily, Matt peeked his head in. He went to leave again not to wake them but I flailed my arms wildly and padded over to the door in my sock feet. I stepped just outside of the room.

“Hey Matt, Vi had another nightmare last night so I don’t want to leave them alone but I feel like I’m super dehydrated so can you sit in here for a minute while I go get water in case they wake up?”

He smiled, “Of course I can! Hold out your hand for me?” I gave him a weird look but put my hand out palm side up. He chuckled, turned it over and gave it a pinch, my skin stayed up like a little tent until I pulled my hand away and rubbed it. “You are definitely dehydrated, get some water in you. If it doesn’t help, I’ll break the rules and put an IV in and pump you up like a water balloon. Ok?” I smiled and nodded and he slipped into Vi’s room.

I almost ran to the kitchen, I pulled the biggest Styrofoam cup I could find and filled it with ice water and grabbed a straw and was about to leave then I grabbed a second cup. I was REALLY thirsty and I did NOT want an IV.

When I got back, Matt was just finishing with disconnecting Vi’s chemo, he wiggled his fingers at me in a wave as he left the room.

I sat down and downed half of one of the cups, then held my head, rolled on my side and tried not to groan as I was attacked by a vicious bout of brain freeze. Well that was stupid!! When it subsided, I sipped a bit more. Then I picked up the latest Harry Potter book, curled up on the sofa and cracked it open and minutes later I unintentionally fell asleep again!

[ac-ars]

Black

Coming again with Metamorphomagus!Luna AU!

I tried to be sorry for what happens here, but I can’t since my entire heart still hurts. I hope you won’t stop liking me and wait patiently for next chapter. (I already sold spoilers and plot for probably last chapter, so some of you won’t be surprised)

(dark blue, green, carmine, orange, white)

Black

As soon as all students of Hogwarts came back from their homes, Luna was a little torn. Happy, because she finally gets to see her friends whom she missed for these days, yet a little cloudy since it means less of Matteo and back to reality.

They were good for all this time. Laughing around, destroying Matteo’s hair with snowballs, stealing his cookies and reading funny books in library. Even tough they never talked about their almost kiss, Luna knew they were onto something, but without any clarification what is the stage of their relation. They were acting like friends, it felt like more than friendship and their longing stares seemed to confirm that, but rush isn’t Luna’s companion; she lets the things flow with its natural speed.

Nina sent her three letters after finding out that Balsano had stayed for a break too and Luna couldn’t torture her more, because she only answered with ‘talk to you when you’re back. Love you, Luna.’ It was cruel indeed, but hey- Luna can have some time for herself, when she can overthink everything and sum up all her feelings. She needed that and now she is fully, completely sure what happened with her.

Nina was cheerful and hugging her like they haven’t seen for years, not days, and never mentioned unfortunate letter. They thanked each other for a hundred time for their presents and went back to their dull reality; which wasn’t so dull and colorless after all.

/

“Kill me, all I wanna do is eating ice cream with you in my dormitory,” Luna whines, not really being excited about going to the dinner and seeing all these people. She had always preferred small groups of her friends, even if she had them more than fingers of her left hand.

There is also this little, tiny part of her soul that is scared of meeting Matteo in the crowd and fear of him acting as he always had like these Christmas days were only a beautiful, unrealistic dream that pulses in her mind as very bad headache.

“You can’t eat ice cream for dinner, Luna. You know it’s not any healthy neither for your body nor for your mind.” Nina pouts at Luna over her book. Casual reading is Simonetti’s favorite thing to do and her divisible attention helps to deal with Hufflepuff friend, who is really moody and unsure recently. “Don’t you want to see Matteo? I thought you do after whole weekend spent on the homework.”

Matteo.

Only his name is tangling her entire nervous system. He can unwrap her skin and see through all her feelings and fears. Luna isn’t sure if she’s ready for confrontation with him, Ambar, Simón and all those people who are back here. Luna isn’t sure how she can manage that and what to expect from all of them.

“I want, but…” Nina stopped her, blowing single, straight strand of her bangs out of her face.

“There is no buts. You’re going there, acting casually and even if I won’t force you, you’ll do that.” She places herself next to Valente on comfy, Ravenclaw sofa. “You know you are my best friend. I can’t let you waste such great thing like this feeling for this boy you have inside. Don’t let the others ruin it.”

Luna smiles at her friend and hugs her tightly. “Thanks, I needed that. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

/

Great Hall is even greater every single time Luna comes into it, and she has been there for a few times before. Like many, many times. Smiled faces are around all the full place and Luna feels a little overwhelmed after sitting here with maybe dozen of students for last days. Looks like she needs to get used to this again, because if that’s not one of most magical places on the Earth, nothing is.

Standing at the entrance for a few minutes, she keeps enjoying the familiar rush and smell of every meal she can ever imagine like it’s her first time there. She wants to turn to Nina with intention of wishing her great dinner, but hands on her eyes are making this task impossible. Luna places her fingers over the stranger’s skin and sighs, “who are you?”

“You don’t know? Who else is brave enough to overshadow this beautiful scenery from your eyes?” Luna knows who is the person talking such dramatic things- not only was it their scent that uncovered them. She turns around just to see wide, wide smile.

“Matteo, what a surprise!” She fakes shock and makes him laugh. It is bright and warm, moving every atom of her being and if she had to choose one sound she needs to listen for the rest of her days, she’d definitely choose Matteo’s laugh.

“You guessed who was it after all. I was starting to worry about you. To be honest, two more seconds and I’d take you to Hospital Wing” Luna rolls her eyes at him, earning only a playful wink. “I haven’t received my greeting yet, young lady. Where are your manners?”

“I should be the one asking- we all know it’s gentleman who greets the lady.”

“Well, in this case…”

He leans closer and kissed her cheek, holding his lips against her skin too long for it to be normal gentleman’s greeting.

But hey, she doesn’t complain.

When he backs away and is in front of her again, Luna sees him opening his mouth to say something, but loud, loud voice stops him.

“What is even going on here?” They both turn around just to see angry Slytherin girl who is approaching them in this moment. “Because, Matteo, you said you’d be right back and there I’m finding you, with,” she looks at Luna with weird eyes, “her.”

“Ambar,” he starts, rolling his eyes, “I am not your…”

“Oh no, dear boy, you should’ve stayed by your table, with people on your level.”

Luna can’t do this anymore. “Listen, you…” she tries, she really has so many ideas of words she could just snap at the blonde, but whisper in her ear is taking her entire attention, making her mind blank.

“Shh, don’t. She’s not worth it.” One of Matteo hands slides around her waist, to bring her closer to his chest. Luna instinctively leans into him. “It’s okay,” says voice, “just don’t stress yourself. I can handle it.”

He lets go of her with tiny kiss behind her ear and Luna knows, it’s time to leave before things go wild.

/

Luna is sitting along with Nina in the library, doing their homework again, because their teachers never sleep and they just love to constantly check their sad words. It isn’t that bad with Simonetti who helps Luna without doing anything instead of her. When Valente is about to flip the page, someone calls her name.

“Hey, Lunita, can we talk?” Ambar’s voice is calm, inviting even, but her face expresses exactly nothing. Luna doesn’t really know if it’s real burying any feelings and emotions, or just is it blonde, who is a good actress.

“Is it important?” Luna raises her brow, because she isn’t sure if she can handle Smith twice one day.

“For both of us, yeah.”

Luna doesn’t have any way out, so she just nods and stands up, telling Nina she’ll be right back. Ambar leads her to less known and less attended part of library and crosses her arms.

“What is so important you needed to talk about this now?” Luna somehow manages it to not sound rude.

“I wanted to ask you what’s going between you and Matteo.”

“I am sure it’s none of your business.” At those words Ambar looks really offended. Seriously, how does she do that?

“I just don’t want you to get hurt if you get engaged too much in this situation.”

Now Luna is the one to cross her arms. “What do you mean?”

“Matteo is this kind of person, who involuntarily hurts people. Well, in your case it’s not completely unintentionally.” When Luna doesn’t answer, only raising her brow, Ambar continues. “Do you really think he is interested like you?”

Crack

“I think it is Matteo, who decides about his interests.” Ambar opens her eyes in shock. For the first time she looks sincere

“So you do? Oh my,” she covers her face with her hand, “we might have broken up few weeks ago, but you know that I and Matteo will be back together. Not today, not tomorrow, but someday for sure. It’s inevitable, dear.”

Crack

“Slytherin boys are always like this, darling. Pretty faces with those smiles and eyes full of universe. They are charming little girls, giving them their attention, saying beautiful, beautiful things, promising galaxies. It’s so hard to not fall for them, isn’t it?”

Crack

“Matteo will get back to me, just like he has always done. It isn’t any different, Luna. He was with you, because there was no one other around.” Luna can’t breathe right now. All she needs to focus on is keeping her tears inside; not letting them go down her face. She needs to leave as soon as it’s possible and die under her bed. That’s all she needs, just let her cry. “Because I wasn’t here. Do you understand?”

Valente nods while playing with her fingers. Ambar smiles reassuringly and puts her hand on Luna’s arm. “I just want you to avoid breaking your heart. After Matteo Balsano there would be nothing to pick up, not to mention fixing it.”

And she passed Luna by, leaving the library with her back straight and chin high.

Something inside Luna collapses for good. There is nothing to fix.

Nothing.

/

Nina hasn’t said anything. She just keeps watching her with her smart, intelligent eyes, but doesn’t ask. Doesn’t push. Luna appreciates it the most in the universe, even though she isn’t opening her mouth at all. There are things she couldn’t tell her friend without breaking herself completely.

They finish their homework and leave wordlessly, gathering their belongings. Luna hurries out of the place, saying goodbye to Mrs. Pince and mission would be complete if not person standing on her way.

Luna doesn’t even need to look up from two books in her hands.

“Hello, my favorite person. Where are you… hey, Luna, what happened?” He is as surprised as she is, because her luck must’ve run away with Christmas lights. He pulls her face up by his fingers on her chin, though Luna runs away with both her eyes and face.

Luna shakes her head; there is nothing she could tell him right now, so she tries to pass him by. “I need to go, Matteo.”

He doesn’t let her with his hands on her arms. “Luna, I see something is wrong. Let me help you.”

Why does it hurt so badly?

“You can't help, Matteo. No one can help.” Matteo takes his hands from her as if she just burned him through her clothes. She can do nothing but leaving him, missing slightly broken spark in his eyes.

Nothing can help for broken heart. Especially if there are so many pieces it’s impossible to pick them all up and collect into one sensible whole.

/

One afternoon turned into two days, later into one three, four, into a week and Luna is again avoiding her best friend, who has probably already given up after all those unsuccessful approaches. Luna hurts for two, because her heart is laying somewhere there around Hogwarts waiting for someone to pick it up, crying during the nights, but on the other side seeing Matteo hurting stabs her like a knife more than she had thought it could.

This afternoon her bed seems harder than ever and curtains she let down few nights before. Luna keeps doodling on some old parchment she found on her desk and thinks about her lost boy.

First time Matteo tried to talk to her after dinner in Great Hall, but she excused herself with homework and Transfiguration test she had next day. Once he approached Luna before her class, however this way hadn’t worked either. He even tried to catch her alone on the empty corridor, though she said him nothing and ran away- again.

Why everything has to be so hard? Why she must’ve fallen for the guy who was only waiting for her to? Ambar’s words carved themselves in the inside of her brain, reminding about pain and stinging with every thought. Luna isn’t sure if she ever gets rid of them.

Though there was one thing, that couldn’t fit into this big, complicated puzzle. Matteo seems to be as down as her, which should be impossible. What could’ve impact him so much that he started to fade away from his old self? I mean, he still was throwing jokes around and smiled, did his job in classes and won even one Quidditch match, but Luna knows him. She knows something is wrong and feels it with her bones.

What happened, Matteo?

The deepest part of her soul said for a few times that maybe Ambar lied and Matteo likes Luna? Likes her for real? That maybe right now he is there, sitting in Slytherin Common Room, wondering that the hell happened and waiting for sky to yell at him?

Ambar is perfect actress after all. Her words sounded so seriously, she described everything Matteo did, in his own way, but he had done it, took Luna’s heart and was with her during Christmas just because she was the only option.

Luna has been thinking about it every day. Every single day overthinking those words and Matteo’s words, his acts, his behavior towards Valente. It all didn’t seem fake or pretended.

It all doesn’t seem like Matteo.

What if the pain took over her mind and covered the important things?

What if she just believed the wrong person not giving Matteo any chance to prove he is honest with her?

What if the most important relation of her life has been destroyed by jealous ex?

What if it’s already too late?

/

Luna is running breathlessly through Hogwarts’ stairs and corridors while putting her jacket on her shoulders. She needs to fix this mistake before it’s too late. Gastón already told her Matteo was on Quidditch Pitch probably finishing his training.

After almost tripping over her own legs and killing herself for a few times, Luna leaves the building, immediately getting hit by cold, cold air. Jogging in January isn’t any good idea, but she doesn’t care at all; she just needs to see him and check if he is okay.

Every second seems like an eternity and her lungs are already filled with millions of tiny needles. The Pitch is not so far- just a few more minutes. You can do this, Luna.

When Luna is a tens of meters away from it she notices a familiar figure. She sees him clearly- her eyes are focusing only on him. His green Quidditch uniform is on, his robe is undone, flowing with the air. At the moment he catches her with his eyes, he stands still with his broom in one hand and a bag in second.

They keep staring at each other for a seconds that feel like years and Matteo looks like he is waiting for something to happen. When they are full of silence he just drops everything from his hands and spreads his arms just to let little bouncing girl run towards him as fast as she can, collapse into his body and embrace his middle.

Luna inhales deeply with his scent and everything is on its place as he hugs her, covering all her body with his robe just to take her away from the cold. She holds him tight, tighter, the tightest and buries her face in his neck.

Matteo moves her just a little just to reach her forehead with his lips once, twice, thrice and murmurs: “It’s the first time since a few days your hair isn’t black when you see me. By the every star, I wanted to sell my soul for that.”

/

She would do the same.