#so i will continue to be experimenting for a while! and thus. apawlogies. probably no finished pieces until i figure smth out.

[melodybottles]

hello and happy holidays everypony!

i have nothing to do at work at the moment. let's talk about art bc i've been thinking about it a lot lately and particularly have been struggling! which is a shame bc i've had the drive to draw lately, but haven't been able to put things down on paper the way i've wanted to.

first and foremost i have still not finished sorting all my CSP assets. lol. lmao even. (i've even returned to downloading MORE, thus making the problem continuously worse for myself). when i finally do that the palette tests WILL get done.... someday.................... but unfortunately that day is not today. certainly i could already start using it, but unfortunately i'm a very organised person to the point of perhaps neurotic overorganisation so i NEED things very meticulously sorted into folders. relatedly on the topic of brushes i've also been really dissatisfied with any of my SAI ones so that's been A Struggle

SECOND OF ALL. actually this is primarily wanted to make this post about bc i wanted to lay this out and discuss it so that my friends don't have to hear me whining in dms anymore -- i've mentioned over the past several months my style has been kind of experimental, right? well. i'm at the point where i'm deeply unsatisfied with my style as a whole atm </3 and it's not even like my art style is bad by any means! i enjoy a lot of what i've put out over the past several months. but i'm really dissatisfied with my work because there are a lot of elements i want to include that i can't quite get a grasp on!

it's like.... i want something stylised. but i don't want something too stylised. but i don't want something realistic. but i want something with more realistic proportions. but also i do like doing the stylised limbs. but also. i want variety to my work but still enough consistency where you can tell it's mine. i want to figure something out that's able to integrate drawing fat people easily into it. i want to learn how to draw older characters and make sure i settle on a style that grants me the ability to do that too. i want to do art like this and like that and i have soooo many things i want to do with it that i see from other artists it just makes me kind of shut down and struggle LMAO

basically i want a lot of things! and some of them contradict each other </3 art is hard folks