#so i was like 'ok ill take a quick nap then i'll work'

[todayisafridaynight]

meow meow meow snap how are you this fine afternoon

whats with the meowing it's reminding me of the zhao sex asks and im scared

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly Severide- Finally

Kelly and I have been married for 3 years now. We met because of my brother Matt joining firehouse 51, then Kelly and I dated for many years before he proposed. Our wedding was a beautiful day and filled with so much love.

After a couple of years of marriage we decided that it would be time for us to start a family. Unfortunately this took a lot longer than expected. We even went to the doctors to find out if there was anything wrong. They just said that for some men and woman it can take longer and to come back in a year if we are still yet to conceive or if we struggle to carry full term.

Of course seeing negative after negative pregnancy test it really effects you mentally. So we stopped taking pregnancy tests so regular. We will only take one if I think I could be pregnant.

I wake up feeling off like I've drank to much. Headache and nausea. Rolling over I place my hand on Kelly's side of the bed, but I'm greeted by the bed being cold. That's when I remember that Kelly had to head off to work early this morning. I groan sitting up, my head spinning as I do, I swallow dryly feeling so ill. Slowly I crawl out of bed and go into the bathroom to get myself ready for the day. Thankfully I work from home so I don't have to go out anywhere.

I'm typing on my laptop when I have to quickly run to the bathroom to throw up. Which weirdly makes me feel immediately better. I clean my teeth getting rid of the nasty taste in my mouth and go back to my work.

I spend the next few hours working, but when my day of work ends I'm absolutely exhausted so decide to take a nap before Kelly comes back home.

This goes on for the next few days which does make me wonder if I could be pregnant. So while Kelly is at work I route around in one of the draws for some pregnancy tests that I bought months ago. When I find them I pee on the sticks and leave them on the back of the toilet before going back to work.

I forget about the tests for a couple of hours before I have to go to pee again. I pick them up not thinking that it will be positive, but when I see the little plus sign on all of the tests I am shocked. This is the first time I've ever gotten a positive pregnancy test, but still not wanting to get Kelly to excited I want to make sure that this is true. So that day I ring up my doctors and book an appointment for the next day. However I'm going to have to sneak out because Kelly is off.

The following day I wake up in Kelly's arms making me smile. I turn around to face him and brush some hair out of his face making him sigh and pull me closer

"Morning" he says in his gruff morning voice

"Morning" I reply placing a kiss on his lips "what have you got planned for today?" I ask

"I'm staying home and cuddling you all day. I've missed you" I giggle at his reply

"I've missed you to, but I've go a couple of jobs to do this morning"

"Like?"

"Well I have to go to the bank, then pop to the grocery store"

"I'll come with you"

"No" I say way to quickly causing Kelly to frown "I just mean it's going to be boring and you've been working really heard the past few days. Why don't you sleep in" Kelly frowns not buying what I'm selling

"What's going on?"

"Ok you caught me. I am actually getting you a surprise but I'm not telling you what it is so you'll have to wait"

"Ok? Why?"

"Will you stop asking me questions. Go back to sleep I won't be to long" I place a kiss on Kelly's lips before getting up and getting dressed.

So I'm pregnant! I run to the store and buy a gift bag, some dippers, wipes and baby bottles. I then head back home with all of the 'gifts' in the bag and head into the house

"I'm home!" I call out and Kelly is quick to greet me with a smile. He wraps me up in his arms causing me to giggle at his affection "go sit down for your surprise" he eagerly leaves my side and sits down on the couch still with a wide grin on his face "ok close your eyes" I say and he does. I place the bag on his lap and tell him to open. He puts his hand in and the first thing he pulls out are the packets of wipes

"Baby wipes? You trying to tell me to wipe my ass or something?"

"No. Keep going" next he pulls out the baby bottles. He frowns taking out the box of diapers. He looks at me still frowning, but a look of realisation crosses his face as I keep smiling at him

"Are you...? Are we...?"

"Yes. I'm pregnant" Kelly is up in an instant and spins me around then kisses all over my face

"I love you so much!"

"I love you to Kel"

"I'm going to be a dad"

"Yes you are. We're finally getting what we wanted"

[hyukalyptus]

nsfw alphabet - me!

i wanna do something super casual, so here's an nsfw alphabet for ME! this is definitely me oversharing about my sex life but whatever i wanna do it.

CW!! WAAAAY TMI about my sex life and preferences. if that makes you uncomfy, skip!! i won't be offended, i totally get it! i'm just doing this so we can giggle together about sex.

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex) - i need to be cuddled immediately. mostly prefer being spooned and they rub my ass while we take a quick lil cat nap. also love it when they clean me up for me lol.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) - on myself, my ass. on others, chests (regardless of gender) or balls on amab obvi. also love moles!! and hair.

c = cum (anything to do with cum) - i feel like im gonna get some gasps for this, but i just don't love cum. IM SRY!! its totally a me thing, a texture mostly. i looOOOoOoOoOOOoove when men cum on my ass/back. like one of my favorite things. like i don't even have to cum myself if they do that (which has happened, i srsly don't mind!), just rly relaxing to me.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) - hm...iono...ig i keep my writing secret from most people?

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) - eh. im relatively experienced ig lol. way more experienced w amab than afab. i know what i'm doing for the most part haha. sometimes i rly wanna move my body in a specific way and i can't and that's frustrating, but other than that, i guess im ok?

f = favorite position - missionary! :D

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) - i love having fun sex! i'd say i take the intimacy pretty seriously, but i like having fun with trying different positions and finding out what doesn't work and what does.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) - i shave once every few weeks and then let it grow and shave again when its irritating me. never bald.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) - like i said, i can definitely be super intimate, but i won't lie i'm mega impatient and that just makes me a tad desperate.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon) - i like audio porn best

k = kink (one or more of their kinks) - wax play, roleplaying, butt stuff.

l = location (favorite places to do the do) - the bed by far. couch when im feeling a lil saucy LMAO.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) - when im high. or strangely, i get GOIN at museums. idk what tf it is about them. if someone takes me on a museum date, they are gettin some later for SURE. i'm clingy at the museum, holding their hand and touching them, kissing them and i literally need them immediately. idk what it is! and any museum. art, science, history, space, i don't care, they can get it as soon as i step foot in one.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) - i don't like being restrained. i love the idea of it, but i can't do it.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) - definitely prefer receiving. i have so many texture issues with my mouth that it can be difficult for me ngl. like i can barely eat foot a lot of days. i am rly good at it tho ill give myself that!

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) - i like starting sensual then working up to a pretty fast pace. im an impatient greedy bottom like i said hmph

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) - not my thing. can never rly get off.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) - ugh i love experimenting with the right person. i have to feel 100% safe with them to do so, but i love it.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) - okok i'm a lil embarrassed to admit this but i cum pretty fast. i don't last very long :( i just LIVE for it in the moment ykwim? like i just neeeed it or i'll die iono. im a loser ig. but i usually only go for 1 round. i love the idea of going for multiple, but i'm pretty much ready to snuggle after 1 round.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) - i LOVE toys. i use at least one every time i have sex. i love using them on myself, love using them on others. they just make sex better so why not! i kinda don't get the taboo-ness of them? like to me, they're as much a part of sex as condoms ykwim? its just...what i do idk. i particularly love clit toys. this is my current fave. this one is nice but its kinda intense. this one is great for ~beginners~ and its super quiet, a little more on the gentler side.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease) - i like teasing! i find that a lot of guys like edging a lot, so i love playing into that.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) - im too loud. i'm quite the moaner and i love saying their name.

w = wild card (a random headcanon) - i've only ever experienced being "cock drunk" twice and both times were MAGICAL. like omfg. one of them, i was high so idk if that counts? but it was amazing. the other time i was fully sober, idk what was going on, guess it was his dick. but since then, i'm completely obsessed with the idea of being cock drunk.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) - ooh what would i say! i got nice tits. and a big booty.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?) - i've got a pretty low sex drive if you believe it or not!

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) - i could fall asleep immediately frfr.

[magknightidv]

Could u please do handsome jack x reader who is sick,I got covid and I could really use some comfort 🙏(also I really love the way you write your fanfics!😊)

OMG I really hope you're okay! I'll write this before my other request because I actually had a couple of quick ideas for it. (Yes I will be finishing one of my other requests very soon I swear)

Borderlands Masterlist

NOT MY GIF

Handsome Jack x sick! Gn! Reader

Pairing: Handsome Jack x reader

Reader pronouns used: They/them/theirs

Warnings: None that you wouldn't expect with a borderlands fic

Summary: Jack's trying ok?

Let's be completely honest

He has a very vague idea of what to do

Like very vague

He knows he probably should be there for you but he's worried he'd mess up

I feel he's honestly really insecure behind the whole CEO/hero facade.

So he believes that him being there will f*ck things up

He does however hire the best healthcare for you

He has bots doing everything you could ever need and always making sure you're comfortable

However when he inevitably comes back to you, he's by yours side apologising for staying away

He wants to be near you I swear

He's just worried of messing up really bad

OK, and maybe he doesn't want to get ill

He's really careful and cautious with every movement you make

He's a great cook

Don't ask me why I believe this, I just do

Take my word for it

He shoos away the bots he had looking after you and decides that the evening will be his turn at being a good partner to his partner

Cleans both of your living areas

Makes food for the both of you

Feeds any pets you may or may not have

Turns on the tv and prepares a little cuddle corner kind of area for you

Has a very small nap halfway through this

Drags you to the cuddle corner and makes sure you're comfortable

Goes back to the bedroom to finish off a small, minor amount of work

Gets changed

And so, the movie/show marathon of your favourite begins

Even if its the most horrible thing he has to do, he'll do it

He is a self centered, narcissistic, douchebag to everyone else

but for you, he'd give the entire world and so much more just to make you feel safe and comfortable

This applies so much more if you set this as post-Angel

Yeah sorry about that last comment, that hurt me to write

I love Angel

That's not the point of this though!

If you fall asleep halfway through, he'll carry you back to bed and makes sure you're fine

Once he's completely sure you're ok he'll allow himself to drift off to sleep

Surprisingly he forgot all about making himself sick sometime through the marathon..

He'll probably have ended up catching it a few days later and you'll have to care for him

Poor dude

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Sorry its short, I just wanted to get these out there so everyone knew I was still active.

I normally do requests in order but i saw this and couldn't resist writing something quick for it. I am still working on all of my requests but life is slowing me down

Now if anyone would like to help support me, you could maybe visit my redbubble! It would really help me feel motivated if anyone bought from it, thank you!!

Oh and my lovely anonymous friend, I hope you are ok and hope this was something that you would enjoy :)

[jj-iz-bae]

Don't tell me not to worry

Word count: 1722 words

Requested by @sunwardsss : Can you do comfort 38 and 43 for Chase please? 38: “I’m in the hospital.”43: “You don’t have to sleep here just because I got admitted.”

Pairings: Chase Stokes x Reader; Chase Stokes x Rudy Pankow; Rudy Pankow x platonic!reader

Warnings: Hospitals,seizures,Fluff,bad spelling and grammar

Note from author: so this is actually based on a seizure episode I had. It only happend one time and was caused by strep throat which triggered a reaction in the auto immune disorder (the disorder basically is that instead of my immune system attacking the virus or illness, my immune system attacks my brain causing all sorts of weird things to happen. When I was younger only strep throat triggered a "flare" of increased symptoms ie ocd,anxiety,age regression,mood swings,foggy brain and other things. Sadly the disorder has developed so that I flare with any illness, not just strep) ANYWAYS 😂 I hope you enjoy this Fluff with a tiny pinch of angst. Just a tiny bit if you squint. Ace is my nickname for Chase and I've used it in other blurbs. I just think it's cute. Kinda like how I call Rudy Panky🙃

Chase was wrapping up a day on set, shoving all his belongings into a backpack. He slung the backpack over his shoulder and grabbed his keys ,leaving his casting trailer when his phone started ringing. He just realized he hadn’t heard from you all day. Seeing your name flash across the screen, he stopped in his tracks and answered. “Hey baby girl! I haven’t heard from you all day!” Chase exclaimed as he started to kick a rock around with his foot. “Sorry Ace. Please don’t freak out.I’m totally fine now but I'm in the hospital.” you explained slowly. Chase’s eyes grew large as he starred jogging to his car. "Don't tell me not to worry baby! Where are you? What happened?" Chase asked as he reached his car and fumbled with the keys, trying to move quickly in his panicked state. He swore under his breath as he dropped his keys and put you on speaker phone while he picked up his keys. You heard the rustling on the other end of the phone and grew nervous. "Chase! Babe are you OK? Calm down I promise I'm OK!" Rudy just so happened to be walking to his car when he heard your voice and saw Chase cursing at his car keys. "Hey dude! What's going on? You OK?" Rudy asked as he walked over to Chase. "Rudy! Y/n's in the hospital and I need to...I just can't.." Chase stuttered. Rudy grabbed the keys out of his hands. "I'll drive. You just talk to her." Rudy threw his stuff in the back of Chase's car as he hopped into the drivers seat and Chase ran around to the passenger seat. "OK sorry babe. Rudy is driving cause you're freaking me out. What happened?" Chase asked, running his hand through his wavy hair as Rudy pulled out of the set parking lot. "Thanks for taking care of him Rudy! I swear I'm fine! I'm at St. Marcus hospital. I think it's pretty close to town." Rudy picked up his phone and pulled up directions on his GPS before placing his phone in the cup holder so he could see the map. "No problem hun! Now tell us what happened before Chase pulls his hair out." Rudy answered ."Yeah you're scaring the shit out of me,Baby girl." Chase let out a breathy giggle.

"OK. Well I had my mom over and we were just hanging out watching TV and everything went black. Everything sounded echoey and I tried to open my eyes but it was like i had no control. I started convulsing and got sick. Mom called an ambulance and they brought me to the ER. The Er sent me here so I've been in the ambulance twice today!" You sighs. Chase nervously picked at his lips. "So what does that mean? Like did they run any tests yet?" Chase asked as Rudy broke a few traffic laws to get him to you quicker. "They have me hooked up to all these monitors and I'm going for an MRI tomorrow. The doctor said I most likely had a seizure." You explained as you looked at all the wires and iv lines covering your body. Chase let out a breathe that he didn't know he was holding. "OK baby. We will figure this out! Rudy, how far away are we?" Chase looked over at the blonde with red eyes, on the verge of tears. "It's right up here on the left." Rudy mumbled as he leaned over the steering wheel to make sure it was clear to turn. "OK babe. We just pulled into the parking lot. Where do I go?" Chase asked as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm on the 7th floor room 54." You said yawning. Rudy pulled up to the main entrance and stopped the car. "Go ahead man. I'll park the car and meet you up there." Rudy explained as Chase gave him a quick hug and jumped out of the car and jogged to the entrance. "OK I'm getting in the elevator now. Ill see you in 2 seconds OK? I'll be right there!" Chase babbled on as he put the phone up to his ear, taking it off speaker. "So how was work?" You asked trying to distract him a little. "Y/n as much as I wanna tell you about my day, I can't remember shit right now." Chase smirked as you hummed in response.

The elevator dinged and Chase got off the elevator and walked up to the nurses station. He put his phone on his shoulder so he wouldn't look rude for not giving the nurse his full attention. "Hello miss! My girlfriend is here somewhere. Room 54. Her name is y/f/n y/l/n. I can give you her birthday if you want to verify I'm not some weirdo." Chase said talking a mile a minute. The nurse just smiled and got up from her desk. "You must be Chase! She told us you were coming! Said you'd be the tall surfer guy with the chocolate brown eyes. Follow me." The nurse smiled before walking down the hall with Chase on her heels. She got to a door and knocked lightly before opening it. "Hey y/n! Surfer boy is here!" The nurse giggled as Chase walked through the door and the nurse closed it behind him. You were laying in the hospital bed with leads attached to your chest and stomach. You also had an iv in her arm and a couple stickers with wires on her head. Upon seeing Chase, you total lost all your composure and started sobbing. Chase rushed over to your side and gently hugged you close. "It's OK baby. I'm here. I've got you." Chase cooed as tears started to run down his face. You scooted over on the bed making room for Chase to lay down. He carefully made sure all the leads were out of the way and nothing was being pulled before tucking you into his chest. " It was so scary! I didn't know what was happening or why." You sniffed as you snuggled into his chest. "Shhhh. It's OK now. It's over. You're here now ad we will figure out what happened and why. Just relax baby." Chase cooed as he rubbed your back. A soft knock made you jump in your sleepy state. Chase said come in before kissing the top of your head, noticing the jolt of your body at the sudden noise. Rudy entered the room with Chase's backpack on his shoulder. "Hey y/n. How you feeling, sweetheart?" Rudy asked in a soft voice as he crouches down next to the bed. "I'm exhausted and confused as to what happened but I feel ok. Thank you for making sure Ace got here OK. I really appreciate it." You said while reaching out to grab Rudy's hand. "No problem at all! JD is coming to pick me up so Chase's car is here." Rudy explained before putting Chase's backpack down. "I thought you might want your bag." Rudy nods to Chase as he stands up. "Thanks man. I owe you one." Chase bumped his fist to Rudy's. "No you don't! You would have done the same for me. You rest up OK y/n? Don't let this guys puppy energy keep you up." Rudy said pointing between the two of you, which made you let out a small chuckle. "He smells like the ocean and is warm. I think I'll have no trouble falling asleep." You mumbles as you snuggles into Chase's chest again. Chase smirks ,holding you close. Rudy's phone dings and he waves good bye so he doesn't disturb the half asleep girl on Chase's chest.

You awoke from your nap to Chase still at your side. You smile up at him. "Sorry I fell asleep on you. You didn't have to stay." Chase opened his eyes lazily, drawing shapes on your arm with his finger. "No way am I leaving you baby. But since you're awake now. I really need to pee." Chase chuckled as he slowly scooted off the bed and walked to the bathroom on the other side of the room. You turned on the TV and sat up a little, looking at the screens and wires all around you. Chase came out of the bathroom, tossing a paper towel into the trash bin, before grabbing his bag from next to the bed. He pulled out his charger and plugged your phone in before putting it down on the table next to you.As he placed the bag down and sat next to you on the bed, a nurse knocked and entered the room. "Hey you two! I have extra sheets and blankets for you! This chair fold out into a lounger so you both don't have to smush together all night." The nurse explained as she sat the extra blankets and linen on the chair. "Thank you so much!" Chase beamed as the nurse came over to your bed side to check all your vitals. "Is there anything I should look for overnight?" Chase asked the nurse."Well if she has any convulsions or gets sick, press this call button." The nurse said pointing to the red button on the wall. "Other than that, if anything has you worried press the button and we will come make sure everything is OK." The nurse smiled as she finished getting your blood pressure and typed the vitals into her laptop before leaving the room. Chase got up from his seat on the bed and opened up the lounger chair, putting on the different sheets ad blankets. "You know, you don't have to sleep here just because I was admitted." You smile watching his basically throw blankets round until he was satisfied. He came and laid down next to you again before pecking your lips. "I told you ,baby. I'm here with you for everything. We'll figure this out together." Chase cooed as he pulled you closer and watched SpongeBob with you on his chest, running his ringers through your hair. "I love you, Ace." You said before kissing his hand. "I love you more,Baby girl."

*photo cred to pintrest*

Taglist:

@afterglowsb-tch13 @cherryobx @sunwardsss @yourlocalauthor @starkeymarkey @k-k0129 @royalpogue @ilovejjmaybank @beatement-l @miniatureauthorpartyspy @bxmaaa @allielozoya @shawnsthighs @i-love-scott-mccall @lilbabyharrys @dannii-li

Comment tag list on any of my writing to be added❤️

[hstylr-blog]

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[weabbynormalblog]

You got this!

Failure is a good thing...What???

In my experience it breeds strength, courage, conviction and belief in oneself!

That's right every step count; even if it leads to failure. Just another learning moment.

Perfection is something we all strive for at one time or another. The error free post, the ultimate cake, meal, artwork, skill, trade or even apparently phone call. We all do our best however our best often isn't always perfect. Success at anything usually requires commitment, a solid plan, consistency, knowledge and a wide variety of skills in order to successfully achieve realistic goals. Usually an optimistic big picture approach and managing daily details are the steps that lead to overall sucess. As humans we fail time and time again, success can seem fleeting and quite elusive at times especially when frustrated.

Failure really is only a complete failure when you give up forever. Like Anthony Bourdane. Suicide ideation is not "normal" behavior or anywhere near healthy thoughts. It's the red flag. It's the failure to thrive while being overwhelmed consistently.

Happiness and joy is available to everyone, regardless of situation or station. It's a choice, another option a better possibility.

It is attainable! Take responsibility for your own happiness!!! Don't let yourself be defeated by one little moment in a bazillion of moments that come in a lifetime! Success and failure are a matter of belief. Stop that degrading story playing in your head, that you'll never be better. Start saying what is easy, what is working; go down that check list if you have to. Never measure your self worth to others. We are all unique while being quite alike too. Weight the positives and agree to improvement on the negatives. It's all good! Change your vocabulary and thinking to a more positive mind set. We do ourselves a great disservice by comparing and analyzing who we are in retrospect to others. Judging our performance, philosophy, our earnings and material wealth. We are way more than the 10% of what people see.

I learnt by failing that I don't need to be successful or perfect at anything to be happy. I can enjoy the moment regardless of handicap or pain. That's a big realization in terms of adaptation and self acceptance! My therapist said pay attention to my thoughts, all of them, not just the good ones. And I am. I went to Giant Tiger to pick up some odds and ends and was stuck in a huge line at the check out. My endurance somewhat fleeting. I employ stretching and moving around while waiting. Extreme pain in my head, just breath slow in out sit in the pain and breath through it. I survived. Learning curve don't go at lunch time silly. Understanding our pain, our limits and abilities is a good start in the healing process. It's a big deal so I'm sharing it with you. It helps and works. Practicing mindfulness, energy management, a shelf life for your emotions, good sleep hygiene, the Yoga and a process free raw food diet. I even imagine it all chipping away at my disease. I'm starting to see results now in shifting my mind set. There may not be a "cure" for CFS mental illness etc or what terrible situation has befallen you, there's still hope for you to change, adapt and to create your own joy. Try out something that will bring some relief, you never know where that will lead you. Little by little, tiny beautiful bunches of happiness and success. So I'm going to keep working my schedule no matter how grim and depressed I am. I'm going to continue to rock my adaptation by not giving in to the fear of failure, lack or the unknown. I put in the time to go out to socialize and play music once a month because it's good for me even if I have to leave early or don't even get there. There was still lots of little steps of success throughout my day. I've been working hard on my stamina and energy consumption by practicing the standing, walking, singing and playing guitar. I was caught off guard by the crippling physical exhaustion. Next time I'll try an afternoon meditation session or even a power nap on music outing night. The smooth ride was over. Overdoing any type of activity can leave me in jeopardy of injury. Like loosing physical balance; I've injured myself enough to know no thank you body, I'm listening. Often I'm in bad shape for days with flu like/sun burn/tin man symptoms.

Ok fine, body you win this one.

Failure aside, I still got out of the house. I interacted with other humans and did something that brings me joy. I find when I'm not attached to the outcome, results or expectations, my moments can be enjoyable in spite of my body. Suddenly any down time becomes worth the little bit of enjoyment. Its about the quality of those moments and those were some good quality moments. Not a complete failure as I first thought. Yes it was depressing that I couldn't physically get through 3 songs this time. What does this inability means for my physical health in the future? Then the fear old me. New me however what I did perform, I did do justice! This is to be expected, the no more energy thing. This is my normal now. It's the nature of the beast. And I was pacing myself. I guess it doesn't matter that my practicing was successful or consistent because it suddenly became nul and void up against illness. I got to be realistic here. Yes CFS is a real fucking thing! It's like the narrow mindedness that comes with "flat worlders" have friends all over the globe. My CFS/TBI clearly cut me to the quick. It let me know who's bitch I really am. No more performing of any kind tonight! The old me: I was so bummed, ready to pack it all in, no cure; minimal enjoyment and relief. Ensuing some kind of abusive self harm behavior, the old me. The new me: Ok, so it was too much for me this time. Maybe not the next. It happens to lots of people. I know exactly how Lady Gaga feels. My body and mind gave out mid performance. Severe dry mouth, balancing and memory issues. It was awkward. I was somewhat dumbfounded. I had to stop singing and playing guitar or I was going to wipe out on the stage damaging lots of nice equipment and instruments. I can't keep putting myself at risk of falling. With chronic fatigue (insert auto immun/mental disorder)etc. Safety is an issue. You literally have no choice. Your tiered body/what's broken wins. Sometimes in extreme ways. I'll rest, dust myself off and give it another go another day.

I'll keep at it. I have too! I will not let illness dictate my life. I'll find a way to live with it, cure it or kill it which ever comes first.

For love the of myself, my offspring and all the others suffering.