#so i probably wont actually really be around til this weekend/after that but oh my god. oh my god!

[bravevolunteer]

last class of the school year today

[booksfromblackwood]

Is anyone still around in this fandom? If so, I thought I’d post the first chapter of an old fic that I re-wrote last year! Let me know if anyone’s still around, and if you’d be interested in reading more! Hope everyone reading this has a great day! :)

Han has left the chat.

Three Days Before The Disappearance

.Sam.Giddings. added josh_wash, ashleeeeey, xXGamerChrisXx, TheOriginalMatt, HanButterfly, BethWash, Mike_Munroe, EmilyD_, and _Jess.Riley_ to the chat.

.Sam.Giddings. named the chat Info For Tomorrow.

.Sam.Giddings.: Hey guys! Just to keep everyone updated on our travel plans for tomorrow! I know it's going to be a long day for everyone so it's vital we stick to the plan and stay in our groups where possible!

ashleeeeey: Okie-doodle!!

TheOriginalMatt: How are you so organised, Sam? You're a lifesaver!

HanButterfly: Hi!!

BethWash: trust sam to be more prepared than those of us organising the trip lol

xXGamerChrisXx: Since when was 'okie-doodle' a thing?

EmilyD_: Thanks Sam x

xXGamerChrisXx: And thanks so much, sam!

.Sam.Giddings.: So quick reminder of everyone's groups:

_Jess.Riley_: I'm stoked!!

ashleeeeey: That's rich coming from someone whose username is xXGamerChrisXx! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash, Chris, Matt, and myself will start the journey first tomorrow morning.

xXGamerChrisXx: You wound me!

Mike_Munroe: Thanks for the plan, Sam!

TheOriginalMatt: Excited to see everyone tomorrow! This is going to be a killer weekend for sure!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Em, Mike, and Jess, you guys are next.

ashleeeeey: You're so dramatic!! XD

Mike_Munroe: Team Two here we go!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Made you smile, though! ;-)

josh_wash: what about us

.Sam.Giddings.: I'm just getting to that!

ashleeeeey: True :)

xXGamerChrisXx: You guys are already there and are therefore irrelevant! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Han, Beth, and Josh, you guys are there already!

josh_wash: thanks cochise i feel so appreciated

BethWash: lol thanks chris

Mike_Munroe: So, what are we all up to?

BethWash: i found cake

xXGamerChrisXx: Browsing reddit like a nerd XD

ashleeeeey: Listening to Sam's rundown of tomorrow unlike sOmE pEoPlE *coughcoughChris*

EmilyD_: Honestly just packing my final things with Jess. Mike's mostly watching the TV.

xXGamerChrisXx: :-(

.Sam.Giddings.: So, tonight we should all make sure our bags are packed and that we have our passports and tickets ready!! Set your alarms for the right times (depending on your group) and make sure to sleep early too (especially if you're in my group since tomorrow will be an early start for us)!

ashleeeeey: :)

TheOriginalMatt: 5am gang where we AT?

HanButterfly: Beth where are you rn? Because I want some of that cake!!

.Sam.Giddings.: So Team One (myself, Chris, Ash, and Matt), we need to be up by 5:00am and be ready by 5:30am for the taxi to the airport!! Matt and Chris, yours is going to be at Chris' place at 5:24 for some reason so make sure to be ready!!

BethWash: the lodge kitchen bcos where else would there be cake han lol

.Sam.Giddings.: We'll meet up at the airport when we arrive! Once we re-group, we'll check in, probably eat some breakfast whilst we wait, and then catch the 8:30 plane!!

TheOriginalMatt: Sweet!

ashleeeeey: Can't wait! :)

josh_wash: yo matt you surviving the puns

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two - you guys don't have to be up until around 9:00am since your taxi is at 9:20 and then your plane is at 11:30!

HanButterfly: Josh would you like me to save you some cake before we eat it all? :)

EmilyD_: We'll need a little longer than 20 minutes to all get ready but sure x

TheOriginalMatt: Just about! Myself and Chris have mostly been playing on his PS4 so I've been distracting myself with that! XD

josh_wash: yes please!

josh_wash: i feel for ya bro, a whole evening with chris' puns can prove fatal

josh_wash: you die of cringe

Mike_Munroe: Poor ol' Chris XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Once we arrive and get our bags, we need to catch the 2:30pm train and then the 4:20 bus! After that we have to take the 5:40 bus (I sent you guys screenshots of the route yesterday) and get off at Blackwood Pines ready for our hike up the mountain (with a little help from the cable car, of course)!

xXGamerChrisXx: I'm being BULLIED guys :(

ashleeeeey: Aw, poor Chris! :P

josh_wash: jk XD

TheOriginalMatt: I like how Sam's still here typing all we need to know whilst we're talking about cake and puns XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two, you guys need to catch either the 5:30pm or the 6:00pm train depending on when your stuff arrives. After that you'll need to get the 7:50 bus and then the 8:40 bus to Blackwood Pines (you have to specify you want it to stop there or the driver won't stop) before you head up. Remember to lock the cable car station once you get in, Mike!

josh_wash: oh gosh tHE CAKE

Mike_Munroe: Gotcha' Sam!

HanButterfly: No worries, Josh! I managed to save most of it from Beth!

BethWash: rip my chance at a third slice of cake

_Jess.Riley_: Really, thanks Sam! We're all packed and ready to go! Xx

HanButterfly: It's really going to be such an awesome weekend! I can't wait :D

ashleeeeey: Thank you so much for inviting me! I've never been on something like this before!! :D

TheOriginalMatt: Yeah, thank you so much guys! I can't wait either, Han!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Have we got rooms sorted out for the lodge, guys?

BethWash: ash take the plans away from sam so she can have time to relax lol

EmilyD_: I'm with Mike in the room away from everyone like agreed right x

ashleeeeey: I'm trying but she won't let me! XD

HanButterfly: I mean if needs be we can sort out rooms once we're here! If not maybe we just sort out the first night rooms since it'll be fairly late when everyone arrives and then we can adjust them as needed as the trip goes on!

BethWash: lol poor sam will be up all night organising at this rate

.Sam.Giddings.: Sounds good, Han!

Mike_Munroe: Great idea, Hannah!

BethWash: em, yours and mike's room (upstairs guest) may not be ready first night so is it possible for you to share a room with jess til we get a chance to sort it out tomorrow?

EmilyD_: That's fine, hon. Thank you again for the trip and for letting us use the upstairs guest room x

josh_wash: how about for the first night emily and jess share beth's room and then beth sam and han go in hannah's room

josh_wash: mike can go to the small room downstairs if he's alright w/ that and matt can room w/ me

xXGamerChrisXx: Yo dude you forgot ash

ashleeeeey: It's alright, Chris! I can find somewhere!

EmilyD_: Ash you're honestly lovely but I'd kinda' like to be with either Jess or Mike if that's alright xx

ashleeeeey: No problem, Emily! I wouldn't want to intrude! :)

EmilyD_: Knew you'd understand xx

josh_wash: why dont you and ash share a room cochise

xXGamerChrisXx: I thought I was rooming with you and matt?

josh_wash: bro please just think for a minute here

ashleeeeey: I'm not sure.

xXGamerChrisXx: Beth, han, and sam, is there any room with you guys?

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry to be a bother!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Of course you can room with us, Ash! We'd love to have you with us! :)

BethWash: im with sam

HanButterfly: Of course!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Thank you to the only valid washington kids right now!

josh_wash: -_-

xXGamerChrisXx: I see what you're doing, josh. ha ha, we've had our laugh, now please stop before this weekend.

Mike_Munroe: Rough subject, huh?

josh_wash: bro chill you know i was just joking

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry!! Please don't get upset with each other!

xXGamerChrisXx: No ash it's alright! i promise i'm not actually mad! :-)

josh_wash: he acts mad over text to get his point across but he literally just sits there with a blank expression irl XD

TheOriginalMatt: Is Sam still there, Ash? Haven't heard from her in a while!

TheOriginalMatt: Gotta check up on my plane buddy for tomorrow!!

_Jess.Riley_: Did you guys get window seats or middle isle seats? I got a middle isle and the others got a window!

BethWash: she hasn't drowned in her notes has she lol

TheOriginalMatt: We got two sets of window seats! Though I don't know which of us is actually going to be at the window and which one will be window isle!

ashleeeeey: She's just brushing her teeth! Her mom came in and brought us a load of vegan snacks for the trip tomorrow and now I'm even more excited!!

ashleeeeey: Speaking of which, I'm probably going to head to sleep in a minute! Though I'm not sure how much I'll actually get since I'm so excited!!! :)

xXGamerChrisXx: Sleep well, ash. see you in the morning :-)

ashleeeeey: Night, Chris :)

ashleeeeey has left the chat.

_Jess.Riley_: Well that was cute!

xXGamerChrisXx: People say goodnight to eachother! that's a normal human interaction!

_Jess.Riley_: You know full well it's cute when it's you two

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash told me she logged out so I came to say goodnight!

josh_wash: w/ jess on this one bro

HanButterfly: Goodnight, Sam!

BethWash: night sam!

josh_wash: dont let the bedbugs bite!

TheOriginalMatt: See you bright and early tomorrow!!

.Sam.Giddings.: See you at the airport/lodge, guys!

xXGamerChrisXx: Night!

.Sam.Giddings. has left the chat.

BethWash: its cute because you like eachother chris

xXGamerChrisXx has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Aww, don't tease the poor guy!

TheOriginalMatt: Chris says goodnight, as do I! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!

BethWash: night guys!

TheOriginalMatt has left the chat.

josh_wash: night!

Mike_Munroe: Make sure to save me a slice of that cake, Han! I gtg!

Mike_Munroe has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Goodnight Mike :)

EmilyD_: We'd best be off too. See you all in the morning.

_Jess.Riley_: Night x

EmilyD_ has left the chat.

BethWash: night

HanButterfly: Goodnight x

josh_wash: night xxxxxxyzqvp

_Jess.Riley_: Ha ha, very funny. Get that one from Chris?

josh_wash: lol night

_Jess.Riley_ has left the chat.

BethWash: PLEASE can i have some more cake, han?

josh_wash: you guys can literally just talk if you wanted

HanButterfly: Nope! Gotta' save some for Mike~

BethWash: you wont shut up about that for the rest of the evening now, will you?

BethWash: lol

HanButterfly: :P

josh_wash: you guys gossip in the kitchen

josh_wash: imma head to bed

BethWash: night bro

HanButterfly: Sleep well!

josh_wash has left the chat.

BethWash: please?

HanButterfly: No :P

BethWash: ugh night sis

HanButterfly: Night, Beth! XD

BethWash has left the chat.

HanButterfly has left the chat.

[robronsecretvalentine]

for @iwantmessedup

happy valentines day, bella ❤️

where you lead | 6000 words, t

if your teenage son has to explain to you that the fit, grumpy bloke who keeps you in good coffee and thick-cut bacon just asked you out, you probably need to take a good, hard look at yourself aka the gilmore girls au you didn’t know you wanted

:::

Robert’s dying. There’s no other explanation. Head pounding, vision blurred, limbs heavy; he can feel himself weakening with every step.

This is so unfair. There were so many things he wanted to do, so many things he never got chance to say. He was fine when he left the house, he can’t believe this is how it’s going to end for him. The only silver lining is that at least he’ll get to see Aaron one last time.

Somehow, and he really has no idea how, he makes it through the door. Manages to collapse into a stool, drapes himself dramatically across the counter, and closes his eyes to wait for death.

There’s a cough.

Robert prises open an eye. There’s an arm, soft orange plaid rolled at the elbow, forearm corded with muscle, a dusting of dark hair. It’s a perfect arm, Robert likes it very much. Especially when it plonks a cup of steaming coffee right under his nose.

“Drink that and stop whimpering,” the arm says. “You’re scaring all my customers.”

The arm is rude, so Robert ignores it in favour of burying his face in his cup until he comes back from the brink.

When he’s finished he holds his it out for more, musters up a sunny smile.

Aaron eyes him with disdain. “You’re an idiot,” he says, like he does every day.

Robert flashes his teeth. “But I’m your idiot,” he says, like he does every day.

He’s not, obviously, but he likes the way it makes Aaron go pink.

Aaron puts his cup back down in front of him, full again, and hurries off to take someone their breakfast. Robert puts his elbows on the counter, cradles his cup under his nose and breathes. That’s better.

“No Seb today?” Aaron asks, coming back just in time to slap Robert away from the dome of muffins on the counter.

Robert rubs his smarting knuckles. “Revising, not long til exams, is it?”

Aaron leans to fold his arms on his side of the counter, it puts his face close enough to Robert’s that he can smell him; rich coffee and bacon fat. Robert lets his mouth water.

“Yeah he was in here last night, books all over the place, taking up my best table.”

Robert glances over his shoulder to the table in the window, with its bench seat and plump cushions, sunlight falling across it in disjointed rectangles. “You should have told him to bugger off,” he says. “Did he even buy anything?”

Aaron shrugs. “He looked busy, it was fine.”

Aaron always gets sort of misty-eyed whenever they talk about Seb. Ever since Robert fled to the village when Seb was barely walking and Aaron was just a kid. Back when he thought Robert, seventeen and carting a baby round on his hip, was worthy of hero worship. Aaron, gruff and grumbling at the best of times, has doted on Seb, like the rest of village, for as long as Robert can remember, and Robert’s always poked fun at him for it.

“You’ve gone soft,” Robert tells him, sipping at his coffee.

That gets him a glare. “Do you want the bacon sarnie I’m about to put on for you or not?”

“Yes please.”

“Then shut your mouth, you talk too much.”

Robert mimes zipping his lips closed, goes back to his coffee while Aaron does his actual job.

The butty Aaron brings him is dripping with butter and brown sauce, bacon still bubbling. It’s a work of art.

“God,” Robert says vaguely, gazing at his sandwich, “Sometimes, I could actually kiss you.”

Aaron pauses where he’s making someone a drink, sugar skittering across the counter top. He coughs, sweeping it off the edge into his cupped hand and his voice, when he speaks, is frayed around the edges. “It’s just a butty.”

Robert eyes him while he takes a bite. There’s always been something addictive about flirting with Aaron, maybe because Aaron never seems to know what to do with him. Lately, Robert’s been wondering if there might be more to it, but he’d be risking a lot to ask, maybe too much. And the likes the gentle hum in the air between them as it is. Seeing Aaron in the mornings is a treat, something to file away to keep himself going.

Maybe that’s enough.

:::

“I wonder what this is about,” Seb says, jogging a little to catch Robert up.

They crunch up the drive together. Robert still isn’t used to it being light out at this time of night, barely any chill in the air. Summer seems to come earlier every year.

Jesus, he’s starting to sound like his dad.

Robert shudders, passes it off as a shrug. “No idea. When did we last even have a village meeting?”

“After the daffodil incident,” Seb reminds him, and they both a take a second to appreciate the fact that Robert never got caught for that.

“Maybe it’s an Easter thing then?” Robert suggests. “Hey, maybe Pollard wants you to wear the bonnet again.”

Seb bristles. “He can do one. Anyway, I’ve already told him how upset Isaac was to be left out last year, so I think I’m in the clear.”

Robert has to laugh. “You realise Isaac’s going to murder you?”

Seb shrugs, elbows waggling outwards. “Worth it.”

Isaac’s twice Seb’s size, all shoulders and hair to Seb’s coltish limbs and freckles. If Isaac didn’t swallow his tongue every time Seb so much as glanced his way, Robert would worry. As it is, he’s pretty sure Isaac would wear the bonnet without fuss, if Seb asked him nicely enough.

Not that there’s any need to tell Seb that.

The village hall is bustling with people but they manage to snag a pair of seats near the back. Robert catches a glimpse of Aaron on the other side of the room, mussed up hair and the dark of his beard. He’s got his arms folded and a tea towel over his shoulder, obviously wanting to get back to work. Robert stares at the back of his neck, pale and vulnerable above his collar, until he starts to feel weird about it.

Pollard waits until everyone’s seated, before he hops up on the stage. “Good evening, everyone,” he says. “I know it’s unusual to call a village meeting at such short notice but-”

“Mate,” Aaron calls out. “Can you just get on with it? Some of us’ve got businesses to run.”

A murmur of agreement ripples through the room and Pollard puffs up like a blowfish, mouth opening again.

Robert slumps down in his seat and tips his head on to Seb’s bony shoulder to close his eyes. He’s been awake too long for this.

“Wake me up if anything exciting happens,” he says, already tuning out Pollard’s droning voice.

:::

He comes to, when Seb shrugs him awake, to an empty room, only a few last stragglers shuffling out.

“Is it over?” he asks, wiping at his mouth. There’s a patch of dribble on Seb’s shoulder that Robert hopes he wont notice.

Seb stands up, stretching his arms out. “It’s been over for a while. Aaron brought us food.”

There’s a bulging paper bag, rolled at top, and a takeaway cup on the seat beside Robert. Of course Aaron brought them food, Aaron’s perfect.

Oh god, what if Aaron saw all the dribble?

Robert grabs them both, sipping at the coffee as they start the short walk home. “Did I miss much?”

Seb shakes his head. “Plans for a new gazebo by the church, something about the playground, Rodney calling Eric a tiny dictator, the usual. Aaron said you’ve been looking tired and not to tell you that that’s decaf.”

Robert drops the cup he’s holding straight into the bin they’re passing. “He’s really got to stop doing that.”

Seb shrugs. “He worries about you.”

“He doesn’t need to,” Robert says, even though it makes him feel soft inside, like a bruised peach, every time Aaron tries to take care of him. Robert’s been taking care of himself and Seb for so long, he’s always an arse about letting someone else take a turn.

“So you didn’t pull an all nighter at the B&B on Saturday?” Seb asks, eyebrow quirked.

Robert sighs. “You don’t need to worry about me either. There was a leak, someone had to sort it.”

“I know, you said.”

Robert slings an arm around his shoulders, feeling guilty, in spite of himself. Seb’s a good kid, the best. Maybe Robert has been leaving him to his own devices a little too much recently. It’s hard, sometimes, to balance his new manager’s position against the fact that Seb does still need him, even if it isn’t like it was when he was little. “What do you say to movie night tomorrow night then? Just you and me.”

Robert doesn’t think anything will ever compare to the feeling he gets when Seb looks up at him with those big blue eyes, all lit up like that. He wishes he could bottle it, he’d make a fortune.

“Back to the Future marathon?”

Robert nods. “Obviously.”

:::

Robert’s cup is already waiting for him on the counter the next morning, steaming away. There’s a chocolate muffin sat on a little square napkin next to it.

Aaron’s in the corner, taking an order, and Robert ignores him when he looks up, just to be an arse.

“You can’t eat my apology muffin, if you’re not going to forgive me,” Aaron says, going behind the counter to tap away at the till.

Robert shrugs, stuffing some more muffin into his face. “I think it’s the lack of trust between us now, that hurts the most-”

Aaron cuts him off. “Oh fuck off. Tell me you didn’t sleep better last night, tell me.”

“Like a baby,” Robert says, giving up the act. He can’t even pretend to be mad at Aaron these days. “And thanks for the burger.”

There is it, that little flush in Aaron’s cheeks that makes Robert’s heart thump illicitly.

Aaron fidgets adorably for a minute. “You didn’t exactly look up to cooking. What with the pool of dribble and all.”

Robert absolutely does not go red himself, that would be pathetic. “You know how restful I find village meetings.”

“Don’t even get me started on that.”

“As if I would.” Aaron’s disdain for village meetings is well known. Robert’s pretty sure it’s been a literal agenda item on at least two occasions.

Aaron starts wiping the counter down, even though it’s already sparkling. “So, what are you up to this weekend?”

It’s a weird question. Not the sort of polite small talk Aaron usually makes with him. Robert’s spidey sense tingles.

“Friday night tea up at the farm, you know the drill. Then nothing, actually. Nicola and Jimmy are on holiday.”

Aaron nods rapidly, like this is riveting stuff, and Robert turns his weird up to fucking bizarre.

“Are you alright?” Robert asks, because Aaron’s still nodding.

“Fine, yeah,” there’s a pause. “I’m going to a wedding on Friday,” Aaron says brightly, apropos of nothing.

“Are you? Whose?” The B&B is booked out all weekend but he hasn’t heard anything about a local wedding.

“Old school mate,” Aaron says. “They’re having some big marquee do up at Home Farm, hell on earth probably. But I quite liked her at school and we sort of bumped into each other on a night out a few months ago, got to catching up. I got the impression someone had left them a couple of empty seats or something and I couldn’t think of a way to get out of it.”

“Right,” Robert says warily. That might be the most words he’s ever heard Aaron use at once. He hopes he’s not winded.

Aaron looks vaguely embarrassed, like he knows exactly what Robert’s thinking. He’s gone really red as well, hands tapping at the counter. “Don’t suppose you fancy keeping me company? So I don’t have to sit next to an empty chair all night?”

“Or take your mum,” Robert points out.

Aaron laughs loudly enough that an old woman at the end of the counter drops her fork. “Yeah, exactly.”

Robert shrugs. He can think of worse ways to spend an evening than with Aaron. It getting him out of Friday night tea is the cherry on top really. “Why not? Everyone keeps telling me I’m due a day off work so, yeah, sounds like fun.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, course. I’ll come with you.”

Aaron looks baffled, as though this wasn’t his idea in the first place. “Okay,” he says. “Great, thank you. That’s great.”

“It’ll be fun,” Robert tells him, going back to his muffin, mentally sifting through his suits to find something that wont clash with whatever Aaron might wear.

Aaron hovers for a second, mouth open, but the bell dings in the kitchen hatch before he can say anything else.

:::

Seb’s on the settee when Robert gets home, feet up on the coffee table. He’s barely more than a tuft of ginger hair and green socks, hidden behind the giant book he’s got his face buried in.

“Grandad rang,” he tells Robert, voice muffled.

Robert makes a face. Great. “You’re going to have to go for tea by yourself on Friday,” he says breezily.

Seb appears from behind his book, visibly suspicious. “Why?”

Robert busies himself putting the kettle on. “I’ve got a thing.”

“What sort of thing?”

“Just a thing,” he doesn’t actually know why he’s being so cagey until Seb speaks again.

“A date thing then. You can’t swerve Grandad’s for a some woman. Or bloke. He’ll go mad.”

“It’s not a date.”

Seb’s eyes roll. God, sometimes he looks so much like his mother. “What then?”

“Aaron’s friend’s getting married, I said I’d go with him, that’s all.”

Seb’s face splits open, grin rising like the sun. “Finally.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re going to a wedding with Aaron,” Seb says, speaking very slowly, like Robert is very elderly and perhaps hard of hearing. “As his date.”

Robert shakes his head. “It’s not a date.”

It definitely hadn’t sounded like a date when Aaron had asked. If Aaron was going to ask him out, if they were actually going to go there, Robert would have noticed.

“Dad,” Seb says, climbing over the back of the settee because he’s an animal. “Of course it’s a date. You’re going to wear a suit and eat food. That’s a date.”

“What would you know about it?”

Oh god. Aaron’s going to be wearing a suit.

Seb folds his arms. “You let me watch too much TV.”

“That’s definitely true,” Robert scrubs a hand through his hair, stomach knotting up when he thinks about Aaron, pink-cheeked and stuttering, asking him to fill a chair. “Oh god. It’s a date, isn’t it?”

Seb’s face is sympathetic, which is nice, but his nod is still smugger than Robert appreciates.

“Does he know it’s a date?” If Robert didn’t notice, maybe Aaron didn’t either.

“Make me one,” Seb says, nodding at the coffee cups sitting forgotten by Robert’s elbow. “And don’t be ridiculous. Aaron’s been in love with you ever since he worked out how his personal parts worked.”

Robert goes hot all over, can’t do a thing to stop it, he has to turn away to hide whatever his face is doing. “No he hasn’t. And please never say personal parts again.”

“Dad,” Seb says, stepping up behind him to squeeze his shoulders. “Everyone knows you like each other. You don’t have to stay single forever just for me, you know? I like Aaron, and I want you to be happy. Plus, you’re not exactly getting any younger here, are you?”

Robert resists the urge to check his reflection in side of the toaster. “Thanks for that.”

“And Aaron’s pretty okay looking, right? And he owns his own business. You could do a lot worse.”

“Please stop talking.”

Seb wanders back over to his books when Robert hands over his coffee, and Robert’s left at the kitchen table with nothing more than a churning belly and too many wrinkles.

Fuck. It’s a date.

A date.

He’s got a date with the only person who’s ever made his breath catch and he hadn’t even realised it was happening. He’s a fucking idiot.

He’s fucking fucked.

:::

Aaron looks good enough to sink ships. Of course he does. It’s actually unfair how well he’s filling out that suit jacket, Robert’s fingers are already itching to touch and they haven’t even made it out of the car yet.

To make matters worse, all Aaron had done is give Robert a once over when he’d opened the door, nodded, said, “You’ll do,” and turned to go before Robert could even pocket his wallet. He’s barely said three words since.

When they pull up outside Home Farm, Robert stops him before Aaron can get out of the car. “Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Robert gives him a look, watches a woman totter past the window in uncomfortable looking heels when Aaron wont look at back him. “You just seem a bit on edge?”

Either that or he’s regretting the whole thing.

Aaron scrubs both hands over his face, grinds the heels into his eye sockets. “Sorry,” he says, sounding pained. “I’m no good at all this.”

“All what?”

“This,” he waves a hand between them, and at the marquee set up on the grass, brightly coloured bunting fluttering in the breeze. “Weddings and that. I don’t know half these people, it’s just-”

For someone who works in customers service, Aaron is terrible with people, that’s always been true. It’s sort of one of Robert’s favourite things about him, that he gets to be on the inside of all that, see the marshmallowy centre.

Robert nudges him with an elbow. “Well that’s what you’ve got me for isn’t it, like, a buffer or whatever,” Aaron frowns at him, like Robert’s missing the point completely, and Robert hurries to continue. “You don’t have to talk to anyone except me, if you don’t want to. Pretend it’s just the two of us.”

He watches, fascinated, as Aaron’s ears turn red. “Just us,” Aaron says, nodding slowly.

Robert feels the air turn syrupy between them when Aaron doesn’t look away, and he’s half a breath from doing something ridiculous, like trying to hold Aaron’s hand, when a car pulls into the space beside them, blocking out the light, and the moment drops away.

:::

The wedding is beautiful; Aaron’s friend Bella looks amazing, her fella looks at least half as good, and the ceremony is as moving as it can be, given that Robert hasn’t got a clue who these people are or how they met or if they’re even a good match. But the bloke gets properly choked up during his vows, enough that one of the bridesmaids leans over to offer a tissue, which even Robert can’t pretend wasn’t pretty cute.

The marquee is decked out with wild flowers and fairy lights, pops of colour everywhere. Robert and Aaron share an impressed look as they’re herded in to find their table.

Aaron doesn’t seem to know anyone at the table any more than Robert does, so they mostly keep to themselves. The soup is a bit shit and the chicken is dry but they get sticky toffee pudding for dessert and Robert doesn’t drip anything down his front so he can’t really complain. Plus it was free.

He watches Aaron scrape his final plate clean with his spoon, watches his lips go sticky sweet, and has to fight down that urge again, the one that’s been popping up all day, wanting him to put his arm across the back of Aaron’s chair, lean in to drag his nose up that soft looking patch of skin behind Aaron’s ear. The one that wants to overstep the mark, just to see if Aaron will let him.

He pinches the tip of his tongue between his teeth instead and keeps his hands to himself.

They toast the bride and groom about forty times with bitter, wedding package cava, and when Robert excuses himself to head for the makeshift bar, to get them both a proper drink, he’s not exactly surprised to find Aaron at his heels.

“Let me get them,” Aaron’s saying. “You’re only putting up with this for me.”

“Oh yeah. Spending an evening with you looking like that,” Robert says, eyeing Aaron up and down. “What a hardship.”

Aaron rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

“I mean it,” Robert leans up beside him while Aaron orders them both a beer. “You should wear a suit more often.”

Aaron’s tongue appears, wetting at his lips. “Shut up.”

“You know, you really need to learn how to take a compliment.”

Aaron’s eyes cut to him, and Robert keeps his gaze perfectly steady even though the intensity there is something he wants to shy away from. This is him and Aaron, there’s no reason for his heart to be racing. “You look good too,” Aaron says.

Robert strokes a hand down his tie, says, “Of course I do,” like he isn’t preening under the attention, like he hasn’t spent the last couple of years looking at Aaron just to see if Aaron will look back.

They find a corner to drink their pints, and then another, and another. By the time they’re both loose enough in the shoulders to be laughing together, pointing out who’s probably having an affair with who and speculating about how long the tissue bridesmaid has been round the back of the tent with the best man, Bella and whateverhisnameis are twirling around the makeshift dance floor to Toploader. Which Robert privately thinks is a bit naff, given that it’s not actually all the way dark out yet. Also it’s overcast.

“Maybe it means something to them,” Aaron says, because Aaron’s a sap at weddings, apparently.

Half the place rushes the dance floor for the second half and even Robert’s foot is tapping by the time the song ends, eases into something softer that he remembers from when he was a kid.

“Come on,” Robert says, making the decision for them. He pulls at Aaron’s arm until he’s got no choice but to join the throng of people swaying away.

Aaron’s got his hands up, protesting. “What are you doing? I’m not dancing.”

And he isn’t really, it’s embarrassing, so Robert takes him by the waist, dragging him in until their bellies bump and Aaron has no choice but to hang on to Robert’s arms for balance. “There you go, that’s better.”

Aaron’s scarlet, shaking his head. “You’re mad, you.”

“When in Rome,” Robert says, has to speak right into his ear to be heard. And he’s immediately aware of how close they are. He can see the jackrabbit of Aaron’s pulse in his throat, can smell the woodsy heat of him, the inescapable musk of coffee underneath it all.

It catches Robert’s breath in his chest, both of them stilling when their eyes meet. Aaron’s gaze dips down to Robert’s mouth and then skitters away again, enough to make Robert’s lips buzz with awareness.

It’s overwhelming, suddenly, how much he wants to press kisses to Aaron’s beer damp mouth, take his time with it, see how far down his chest that blush goes. He wants Aaron as breathless as he feels right now. Robert has never want to kiss someone more, and Aaron isn’t even doing anything, he’s just frozen, staring back at Robert like he wants him to take.

Robert’s not like Aaron though, he’s not a particularly good person at all, and he’s self aware enough to know that the only thing holding him back is that he’s afraid of what might come next. Even if Aaron doesn’t push him away, Robert hasn’t been with someone for more than a handful of nights since he knocked Rebecca up in the toilets of her sister’s engagement party when they were 15. He’s never taken any one home to Seb before.

And he knows Seb approves, but that just makes it even more messy. Seb loves Aaron, just as much as Robert does. Seb’s the one who talked Aaron into buying the cafe five years ago, making a real go of it, eleven years old and mouthing off at Aaron about taking risks – God, it was hilarious.

But there are risks and then there are risks, aren’t there?

Seb has been the axis around which everything has turned for half of Robert’s life. Seb is everything. If Robert messes this up it’s not just his own heart he risks breaking.

So he ducks his head, breaks eye contact to tuck his chin down into the juncture of Aaron’s neck, breathe in what could have been. He holds Aaron as close as he dares, feels the hot press of Aaron’s hands across his back, thinks I’m sorry, I wish as hard as he can, and prays that Aaron can hear him.

:::

Robert has his coffee at home the next morning, nursing his hangover on the comfort of his own settee.

“It went that badly then?” Seb asks, hovering.

“It was fine,” Robert tells him.

Seb pulls a face. “Just fine? It was your first date.”

Robert feels prickly and tender about it all, still smarting from the look Aaron gave him when they went back to their drinks. There’s a good chance that Robert will never get to be that close to him again and he isn’t sure the sense memory will be good enough to keep him going.

“It wasn’t a date,” is what he says to Seb, because he might be pretty switched on for sixteen but he doesn’t need to hear all that.

Seb huffs, face screwing up again. “I don’t get you. You have the chance at something really good here, with like, the perfect guy, and you can’t be bothered? What happens when I go to uni? Are you just going to rattle around here all on your own until you die?”

Robert’s mouth drops open and it takes every ounce of not his dadhe’s got in him not to bite back. “Go to your room.”

“What? You can’t-”

“Go to your room,” Robert repeats, voice low and deadly. “And don’t you ever talk to me like that again.”

Seb’s eyes go watery, like they always do when he gets told off, and he slinks upstairs with his tail between his legs.

His door slamming makes Robert flinch, even though he was bracing for it.

:::

It’s mid afternoon before Seb shows his face again.

Robert takes one look at him and drags him in for a hug. He’s been feeling like an arsehole for about twelve hours total now, he deserves a hug, and Seb owes him.

Seb puts up with it for a couple of minutes, and then fights his way free. “Are you ready to talk about it yet?”

Robert shrugs, goes back to his pile of blankets, still feeling sulky. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You’ve been crying.”

“I have not,” so he watched this week’s DIY SOS, sue him.

Seb sighs deeply, put upon. “Dad, you know that I love you, even though you’re an actual idiot, right?”

Robert gives him a look. “Yes.”

“So I mean this in the nicest possible way, alright? Please get your head out your arse.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with Aaron.”

“I think that might be an exaggeration,” Robert says. It’s not, it’s totally not. He keeps thinking about Aaron’s face, so close to his, sparkling in disco colours and watching him like Robert was the only person in the room. It’s making him feel like someone’s scooped his heart out with a melon baller.

“And Aaron’s in love with you.”

“We don’t know that.”

Seb throws his hands up. “Oh for God’s sake. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Robert’s too stunned to tell him off for swearing. “I don’t want to mess everything up,” he says, sort of meekly, he has to admit.

“Who cares if you do?” Seb asks, face crumpled up and baffled, with all the bravery of someone who has never had their heart broken.

Robert braces his arms across his knees. “Aaron’s very important to you,” he says. “And to me. He’s one of our best friends, and he’s a really big part of this village. If I do something to ruin that, it just…it wouldn’t be good.”

“So that means you don’t get to be happy? Either of you? Just in case? That’s stupid.”

Robert huffs a laugh, can’t not. “Being a grown up’s a bit like that.”

Seb comes to sit beside him, elbow digging in to Robert’s arm like always. “Well it shouldn’t be.”

“When your mum gave you to me-”

“She made you promise to take care of me, I know,” Seb looks up at him. “But you have, you do. I’m not a little kid any more, dad, look at me. This isn’t about protecting me, this is about you being too scared to go after what you want. So what if it goes wrong? Aaron’s not an arsehole, he wouldn’t stop being friends with us over something like that. Isn’t he worth the risk?”

Robert would never tell Seb this, but he fucking hates it when the kid’s right.

:::

He manages to avoid Aaron for a couple more days, before his need for decent coffee gets the better of him and he has no choice but to stop stewing on it.

Aaron’s closing up, because Robert’s a wuss and has dragged this out for as long as he possibly can.

“We’re closed,” Aaron says, he doesn’t look up from where he’s upending chairs on to tables.

“I’ll have whatever’s left in the pot,” Robert says. “I’m not fussy.”

He watches Aaron’s shoulders still. “I think we both know that’s a lie,”  he says, but he goes and makes Robert a proper drink anyway, because he’s Aaron.

Robert sits in his usual seat and drinks it. “So how have you been?” he asks. “I haven’t seen you for a couple of days.”

God, he sounds like a total wanker, no wonder Aaron’s looking at him like that.

“Are we really doing this?” Aaron asks.

“Doing what?”

Aaron gapes at him for a minute, then shakes his head and turns around to start wiping down the coffee machine. He doesn’t say anything else but Robert can feel the frustration vibrating off him, thick enough to shake the air between them.

He watches the shift in Aaron’s shoulders, thinks about the strength of them under Robert’s hands in the middle of a crowd. Thinks about everything else, about how it was Aaron who drove Seb to the hospital when he broke his wrist last year and Robert was stuck in traffic an hour away, thinks about the way he scowls at every tourist who comes in this place, and how they all leave loving him anyway. He thinks about all the stupid, pointless flings he’s had, men and women that have never stuck and never meant a thing, thinks about the couple of boyfriends Aaron has hung on to for a while, and how it had seemed like a weight had lifted every time he was single again. He thinks about how much worse his life would be, without Aaron in it. About how he’s been falling for him for years, and how he didn’t even notice it creeping up on him until it closed over his head.

He thinks about Seb, and the nice little life Robert has managed to build for them, from ashes of everything else. The life that wouldn’t exist if Robert hadn’t been brave enough to take it.

He did not work this hard, for all these years, to live half a life.

He follows Aaron behind the counter, gets a hand on his shoulder to turn him around.

“What are you doing? You can’t be back-”

Robert takes Aaron’s face between his hands, drags him in until their foreheads touch. Aaron stills in his hold, eyes fluttering shut when his brain catches up to what’s going on.

Robert gives himself a minute, to take it in, making a memory because he has a feeling he’s going to want to remember this. “You talk too much,” he murmurs, nonsensically, before he tips their mouths together.

There’s an almost overwhelming feeling of finally, and then Aaron’s coming back to life in his arms, fingers creepy crawling up over Robert’s shoulders and into his hair. Robert gathers him close, makes fists in the butter soft flannel of his shirt to keep him where Robert wants him.

He tries to keep the kiss soft, as romantic as it had seemed in his head, but then Aaron’s mouth is opening under his and his tongue is in Robert’s mouth, and suddenly he’s half hard in his jeans, trying not to ride Aaron’s thigh. He gives up trying to control it and just kisses back, keeps kissing for as long as Aaron will let him, until his mouth feels sloppy with it and his chin is burning from the rough of Aaron’s beard.

They’re both breathless when they finally part, and Aaron looks about as shell shocked as Robert feels; like the ground has shifted under him, like he can’t believe they haven’t been doing that the whole time.

Aaron’s hands slide down Robert’s chest. “What are you doing?” he asks, and he sounds suspicious enough that Robert laughs.

He gathers his courage into a ball. He’s a grown man, if Aaron worked up the nerve to ask him out, Robert can do this.

He keeps hold of Aaron though, so he doesn’t get any ideas about moving away. “So, I had a word with Seb, and it turns out I’ve been a bit of an idiot.”

Aaron gives him a look like, you don’t say, but he doesn’t say anything so Robert keeps going. “It also turns out that I’m sort of massively in love with you, so.”

It’s quite cute, the way Aaron’s mouth drops open and just sort of… stays that way. “You what?”

Robert looks him right in the eye. “I love you. And I have it on pretty good authority that you feel the same way?”

He doesn’t mean to make it a question but it happens anyway. Aaron’s frowning, sort of kneading at Robert’s chest with his fingertips like a kitten, but he’s nodding.

“Yeah?” Robert prods.

Aaron rolls his eyes. “Obviously, yeah. I though you weren’t interested. After wedding, when you – I thought you weren’t-”

Robert cuts him off. “I’m interested. I’m…more than interested.”

“So why did you…”

“I was scared,” Robert admits, grudgingly. “I think I’ve been trying to tell myself I was looking out for Seb, but that’s not it. I’ve never felt like this before, I’m bloody terrified.”

Aaron’s nodding. “Same here.”

“Seb reckons you’re worth the risk.”

“That does sound like him,” Aaron says. “Also he’s right.”

Robert strokes his hands up Aaron’s back, feels the push and pull of them breathing together. “So, I’m in. If you’ll have me.”

Aaron’s eyes are the bluest thing Robert has ever seen. “I’ll have you,” Aaron says, voice a murmur, and it’s him who leans up this time, kisses Robert until his head’s spinning. Until it feels like this could actually be his life.

Aaron fits against him like he was made to be there, and Robert lets himself imagine, for the first time, a world in which he doesn’t fuck this up.

[petals42]

Can you please do some more Kent/chowder friendship body swap bc if you write like anything at all I will die happy

this is going to be an Unorganized Mess because i’m doing it right before bed because WHY NOT but here. [Note: You gotta have read this post first to make sense of this.]

So, like, as mentioned, I really want this friendship to develop after they switch back but the question is like... how?? 

In my last post I talked about how Parse would send Chowder nicer clothes (and sheets because wtf is that thread count christopher??) but i think this happened because-- wait lets go back

Okay so Chowder gets to go to the Aces/Sharks game and go backstage (not the right word for that but lets just move on) and meet people so while he is obviously ALL UP IN THE SHARKS, he introduces his family also to Kent as “and this is my friend, Kent Parson” and admist the confused stares (coming from both his family and Kent Parson), Chowder is just like “we met at Samwell!!”

And Kent Parson, who is never really referred to as a friend (more a teammate, tbh, or “ex” or “celebrity crush) has like acquired some sort of blushing instinct (he blames his time in Chowders body) because he sort of blushes and stammers (JUST A LITTLE OKAY) before finding his cool again and--

“Oh, also,” Chowder tells his little sister. “You gotta feel that inside of that sweater-- it is like SO SOFT.” and so that is actually where Kent gets his first idea to send Chowder nicer clothes (the expensive CASHMERE clothes yaknow... (sidebar: is cashmere soft? i don’t... actually know things about nice clothes)) 

But he doesn’t do it right away because like.. c’mon he’s not going to seem desperate here. He’s Kent Parson. He... they switched bodies for a little. Surely Chowder doesn’t actually want to... be his friend. 

WRONG.

Because Chowder gets on a flight and heads back to Samwell and Kent Parson gets back to Vegas (and snuggles Kit) and THEN Kent Parson gets a text.

And that text is chirping him. Hard. For his coding notes.

“Lol. Dude. Really?? These don’t even make sense!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re lucky I tried.”

“It looks like you gave up halfway through and started doodling hockey plays.”

“... that is actually supposed to be some zeros and ones?? he wrote them on the board??”

“holy shit.”

and suddenly kent parson finds himself sort of smiling and laughing at his phone and he would say it is one conversation but then he gets a GOOD LUCK! text before his next game and then a bunch of texts DURING the game that he sees after and then-

Then he gets a “Remember to ice your shoulder!!!” the next day and, okay, yes, it’s weird that this guy has BEEN IN HIS BODY and thus knows that his shoulder bothers him but its also... its also nice??

So Kent Parson says fuck it. And he sends Chowder that sweater he liked so much. Because Chowder is being really nice to him and he... okay he will try to have a friend. 

Note: Kent Parson trying to have a friend is a Disaster. because Kent Parson knows his weaknesses: He is bad at emotional conversations, he cannot give relationship advice, he is sarcastic and rude and-- he is not good at being Friends with someone. Chowder’s natural friendliness is something he can appreciate but has difficulty reciprocating.

But you know what he does have?

Money.

Lots and lots of money. 

And no one to spend it on.

Until now. 

Kent Parson cannot say “Thank you for wishing me good luck before my games” so he buys Chowder fancy sweaters and t-shirts and fashionable pants and sends them on over. Kent Parson cannot say “It is cool you remind me to ice my shoulder” so he also sends new sheets (accompanied by pseudo-snide remarks such as “so i dont have to lay on that sandpaper if we ever have to switch back”). Kent Parson cannot tell Chowder that texting him during the day has become something of a highlight but he CAN buy chowder that coding software he was going on about and e-mail him the product key and he also can get people on the Sharks to sign stuff and mail it to Chowder and, look, he knows that getting Chowder’s family season tickets to the sharks game would be Too Much (at least... right now) but he does offer them when chowder goes home for breaks.

Look, as they text more and more, Chowder puts up with his sarcastic sense of humor and dark moods and doesn’t seem to take it personally when kent just texts back ‘yeah whatever’ after loses.

Chowder is just plain nice to him and Kent does his best to follow Chowder’s complaints about school and tries to offer advice when Chowder admits that sometimes he feels torn between Nursey and Dex and their constant bickering and wishes they would both just stop but Kent knows he cannot actually be that helpful. Even when Chowder texts: “gosh its nice to have someone not involved that i can vent to,” kent knows that he is not adding to chowder’s life nearly as much as chowder is adding to his.

With the time difference, Kent now usually wakes up to a few texts from Chowder and Chowder thinks Kit is the devil but still doesn’t mind when Kent sends pictures of her and Chowder... Chowder sometimes ever so casually reminds him that he doesn’t actually need alcohol (”you could just go home dude. wanna play starcraft?”

Oh right. That’s the other thing. Chowder has got him into computer games. Games that they can play together. On the same time. Kent has never done it before and its embarassing to be bad at something but somehow with chowder its not so bad and he’s already promised that after the season, he is going to have much more time to dedicate to it and chowder thinks that they can get really GOOD over the summer and it becomes... their thing

When Nursey and Dex are driving Chowder crazy or Kent is actually free, the two log on and play some nerdy computer game shit (kent’s words. he keeps calling it that even after he admits he "sorta kinda likes it okay??”).

OF COURSE BECAUSE KENT PARSON CANNOT COMMUNICATE, he just keeps SENDING GIFTS. Which Chowder accepts at first, partly because he doesnt really know how much all this shit costs.

Nursey finally clues him in “dude, is that shirt fucking All Saints?” and Chowder is like “uh... what?” and that breaks the mystery and suddenly Chowder is like... wait a minute. this dude has sent me probably over a thousand dollars worth of nice ass clothes (and sheets and towels) all in the name of “In Case We Ever Switch Back.”

Not To Worry: At this point it is Summer Break. Which means that Chowder can just go, meet up with Kent in person and tell him that while he appreciates the gifts, kent should probably stop. They both now know not to wish on any shooting star anymore. They are probably good. 

So Chowder texts Kent something like “dude im home may 22nd-- when are we meeting up over break?” and Kent gets it and lowkey PANICS because like... Chowder wants to hang out with him?? And he can’t even just take him to a hockey game because the season is over?? WHAT WILL THEY DO??

Better to stay on home turf, Kent decides. He can take Chowder out in vegas and they can hit the casinos and maybe he’ll rent a limo and-- “Im free anytime” he texts back, hoping that doesn’t make himself sound lame. “when do you wanna come over?”

And then Kent Parson is thrown for a loop because Chowder ruins his plans by saying “you should come here! i’ll show you non-hockey parts of san jose! first weekend of june?? promise no one will yell at you!!” and kent... well hes not gonna say no obviously but he... he can’t take chowder to casinos if they arent in vegas and--

“Bring your laptop” chowder says. “starcraft IN PERSON”

Look this deserves a 15k fic of its own but picture: Kent Parson, nervous, awkward, feeling a little like he did when he visited the zimmermanns except not because he and chowder are just friends so there’s less... challenge and also he has grown up a little and so its just very embarassing for him and chowder’s whole family is the nicest and he sleeps in the guest room and they just-- They play starcraft. They go see a movie. They walk around Chowder’s favorite park. They drive up to the beach with Farmer. They go to an arcade. Normal people stuff. They do normal people stuff. 

And Chowder sits Kent down and is like “dude you gotta stop sending me presents like some kind of weirdass sugar daddy” and Kent does turn bright red at that one because he was kind of just lowkey hoping chowder didn’t notice but Chowder manages to make it not TOO awkward and then its just sort of a funny and Kent promises to stop (he wont really... chowder gets a new gaming computer for his birthday but kent claims that is because chowders weak ass system is affecting his gameplay but that not til later so thats okay)

MORE SURPRISING is Chowder agrees to come up to vegas to celebrate kent’s birthday on july 4th. Farmer comes for part of it (but she has work) while chowder stays for five whole days and they... they stay in kents apartment and play more computer games. chowder tries to build up kent’s tolerance for spicy food and then laughs at him when he dies. they go play hockey at the rink. they just... hang out. like friends. 

It’s weird and bizzare and THEN TO TOP IT OFF Chowder (who is a wee bit drunk at this point because they aren’t just going to not drink or gamble at all-- chowder had doubled his 40 dollars today!!) says something like “do you think we can switch back again? if we tried?”

and kent (also tipsy, but just like... tipsy. not wasted) says “uh... no?”

and chowder says “LETS TRY” and kent says “why?” and chowder says “FOR FUN” and kent says “alright if you want”

and the two stand and hug and kent thinks “alright switch back” and then he pulls back 

And look into his own face

Which is grinning at him. 

“oh my god” chowder (in kent’s body) says. “This is gonna be so fun.”

ENDING THERE FOR NOW because i’ve got to stop writing this AU. what is this. what is my life. i don’t... i don’t even go here. 

[zoesrose]

TEXTS; ZOE & YAS 

pt. 3 - April 2021 - June 2021

APRIL

yasmin puckerman

Hey, you up?

zoe rose

Yes. Is everything okay?

yasmin puckerman

yeah yeah, everythings good I’m just up. Smoking out my window and was just thinking

zoe rose

Thinking about what?

yasmin puckerman

Thinkin bout you

wyd?

zoe rose

I just finished smoking. Laying here. Eating that candy you left here Saturday.

Exactly what about me are you thinking of?

yasmin puckerman

damn that’s where I left that

Your ass mostly

Them dimples you got right above it

zoe rose

I'm glad you mentioned the dimples because I was going to point out that my ass has nothing on yours.

I'll save you a piece.

yasmin puckerman

nah it’s cool, you can eat it. I’ll survive I do have exceptional cheeks

zoe rose

Alright.

You do.

yasmin puckerman

That’s not all I was thinking about tho

zoe rose

Tell me.

yasmin puckerman

we never talked about the night at the empire. Was that what you wanted? I’m

am I supposed to want to go on another d

Idk this shit I got is loud

I’m trippin

zoe rose

That’s not a clear answer. Tell me.

yasmin puckerman

you had a good time right? When we went out that one night

zoe rose

A very good time, yes.

Did you?

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah My bad for whatever I said after. It was just more than usual. I don’t get pushed life that

zoe rose

I didn’t take it to heart, it just meant I did a good job humiliating you. I liked pushing you.

yasmin puckerman

I liked it too

zoe rose

I can’t afford the Grand Empire again but I would like to do that again

yasmin puckerman

being there was hella fun but that wasn’t what made it good so, that’s whatever

zoe rose

The dinner part deserves a redo. Something less stuffy.

yasmin puckerman

so you trying to do the whole thing again?

zoe rose

We don’t have to.

yasmin puckerman

let me plan this one?

zoe rose

This one... date?

yasmin puckerman

Saturday or whenever We don’t have to call it that

zoe rose

Saturday.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah, dope Saturday. Yessir

zoe rose

liked this

Goodnight, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

Night Sir

yasmin puckerman

hey wassup?

zoe rose

Hello, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

what you up too?

zoe rose

Currently? Walking around campus. Hitting that back spot that looks over the water.

yasmin puckerman

oh so you chillin chillin

zoe rose

Yes

Everything okay?

yasmin puckerman

yeah all good. I don’t got nothin to text about, I was just being nosey

zoe rose

You could always come be nosy in person.

yasmin puckerman

yeah true Drop a pin?

zoe rose

Drop a pin, what?

location

zoe rose

Do I come across as an egotistical, saditty serial killer?

yasmin puckerman

egotistical? nah wait is this a trick question?

zoe rose

But yes to the other two?

yasmin puckerman

I didn't say that are you good?

zoe rose

I've been compared to Hunter Clarington and I don't like it.

yasmin puckerman

who tf is that? you need to throw down with someone? I could be in the mood real quick

zoe rose

He's a new Dominant that's taken an extra interest in Marley. She said he reminds her of me and I don't like him, so I needed to ask.

yasmin puckerman

Oh well I can't go fighting Marley

zoe rose

I would never ask you to.

yasmin puckerman

remember this?

zoe rose

So I am that type of Dominant? You really pulled some screenshots on me.

yasmin puckerman

I'm just saying, my feelings on that still stands why you saying it like its a bad thing?

zoe rose

Fuck you're right. I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

yasmin puckerman

bro, are you dropping? wyd, Sir?

zoe rose

Laying in bed. About to smoke this bowl. You?

yasmin puckerman

I was just about to roll

you got company?

zoe rose

No.

yasmin puckerman

do you want some, Sir?

zoe rose

Yes. Come over.

yasmin puckerman

ok dope omw

zoe rose

Door's open.

yasmin puckerman

you feeling better?

If you got a min this week to fit a session

lemme know? (leaf) (smoke) ahead of time maybe? Gotta clear it with the boss them

zoe rose

I’ve got minutes. Tomorrow afternoon.

yasmin puckerman

aight I’ll see what I can do

yasmin puckerman

yooo

you doing shit with your partner toni

do they sleep in your bed? I got the nig

your (plug) got gummies and shit rn?

zoe rose

He always does. Should I text him? He can have it delivered in an hour tops.

yasmin puckerman

yessir, pls $25 of nerds ropes or cookies or sum and a Q of that(fire) for me

zoe rose

You're missing something.

yasmin puckerman

yeah I didn't think that was gonna cut it forever

please and thanks, Sir?

yasmin puckerman

I'm starting an escort business wait that's not how that sounds hold up does it counts as that??

zoe rose

You're going to have to elaborate.

yasmin puckerman

I'm escorting this dude to town tomorrow for a few bucks I could be doing that a couple times just on a weekend morning and bank.

zoe rose

That's smart.

yasmin puckerman

thanks. I be thinking sometimes

zoe rose

You should charge by the hour.

yasmin puckerman

yeah, 35 the first 2 and 20 every hour after.

easy money I need to get shit in town myself tomorrow.

zoe rose

Good girl. Using this as an opportunity?

yasmin puckerman

You wanna swing by Trixie’s surprise party with me Sat?

zoe rose

Sure.

What will you be doing next week?

yasmin puckerman

Chillen Triple weeks no classes

Might pick up a few extra work shift tho, since imma be missing hours for this universal trip

zoe rose

I will also be working my ass off to rack up money.

yasmin puckerman

keepin on that grind  

zoe rose

Then maybe this Summer we can go on an actual trip. You and me.

yasmin puckerman

oh you tryin to steal my ass away for the summer??

zoe rose

Just a part of it.

yasmin puckerman

I like the sound of that.

zoe rose

I'm thinking Miami.

yasmin puckerman

dope I hear Miami jumps

zoe rose

I've been once. It does.

yasmin puckerman

theres a whole other semester to get through first

I'm really about to savor this break bc I'm hella tired of going to class

zoe rose

It's just a few more months.

yasmin puckerman

months

how did your midterm go?

zoe rose

It was fine. Yours?

yasmin puckerman

yeah good, same hb Marley?

zoe roseBOT — 04/24/2021

Hers went smoothly as well.

yasmin puckerman

Thats good no one to square up with

zoe rose

There's always next time.

yasmin puckerman

that makes me miss smight flub

zoe rose

We could go into town next week.

yasmin puckerman

yeah? I'd be down for that

zoe rose

Consider these official orders.

yasmin puckerman

Yes, Miss Sir. cool cool cool, dinner first?

zoe rose

And dessert after.

yasmin puckerman

the dessert is me right?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

knew it

zoe rose

Come over on Monday too. Since we don't have class.

yasmin puckerman

I would start and end the week with me too if I could

zoe rose

See you Monday, Yas.

zoe rose

I was thinking of renting a car to drive up to Universal. Would you like to ride with me and Marley?

yasmin puckerman

You just want a back seat roller I'm on to you

zoe rose

You could always drive and I could be the back seat roller. I'm not discriminatory.

yasmin puckerman

Aight but if I drive we getting there in 2 and a half minimum

zoe rose

No. I'll drive.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah I knew you were all dry jokes

zoe rose

We'll leave Monday morning.

yasmin puckerman

You got it, Sir. I gotta remember to get my shit packed

zoe rose

Then you can pack my shit.

[ ... ]

Kidding.

yasmin puckerman

probably cause you don't want me picking all your outfits

zoe rose

All of my outfits are the same.

yasmin puckerman

Imma pack my bag and yours with my clothes

zoe rose

No. You're packing your bag and I'm packing mine.

yasmin puckerman

don’t worry. Just jokes I like your style how it is anyway

zoe rose

You're still coming over tomorrow night, correct?

yasmin puckerman

yep You planning to do anything special with me?

zoe rose

What do you want me to do to you?

yasmin puckerman

oh shit I hadn’t thought it throu No ones tied me up in a while

You wanna fuck me til I’m mad about it, Sir?

zoe rose

Wanna try that again?

yasmin puckerman

fuck, really?

I swore I had that one! Okay

Will you tie me up and fuck me til I’m mad about it pls, Sir?

zoe rose

That's better. I would love nothing more.

yasmin puckerman

You want some company now too?

I'm out on my board rn

zoe rose

I always want your company.

yasmin puckerman

So I don't gotta ask? what happens if I just start showing up?

zoe rose

My always wanting you here does not negate your need to ask for things you want.

yasmin puckerman

Do you ask for things you want? Or you always just waiting for me to do it?

zoe rose

I'm sure I've asked for you to come over on several occasions.

yasmin puckerman

when I have time I'm pulling receipts wait, that was a yes right? cause I'm already on my way

zoe rose

That was a yes.

yasmin puckerman

dope

MAY

zoe rose

Are you all packed?

yasmin puckerman

Yeah I think so I suck at packing

zoe rose

I think I over packed.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah? I think I got more toys than clothes.

zoe rose

I got my clothes in one bag, my shoes in one, my make up in another, and my shit in it's own bag too.

yasmin puckerman

Damn you got four bags??

zoe rose

My make up and oiud bags are small so they barely count.

zoe rose

Before I forget, you're under my orders Friday night and Sunday.   And I would like for you to spend Sunday with me and Marley at Disney world. Please.

yasmin puckerman

I mean, since you asked so nicel Friday, yes Sir. Got it. And hell yeah I wanna go to disney. I don't wanna take your time away from Marley though so, you sure?

zoe rose

Perfect. Marley has me to herself on Friday and Saturday, so Sunday the three of us can  spend the day together before we drive back to GroveKey.

Friday is our birthday, so if you'd like to you can give Marley a present. Though I do not want anything. Just to fuck you Friday night.

yasmin puckerman

Oh shit, that's good to know

Did I known that already??

I'll definitely grab her something.

zoe rose

Thank you.

yasmin puckerman

I'm not saying I wont get you anything tho

zoe rose

I suppose I can't stop you.

yasmin puckerman

yup

tell me more about this birthday sex?

zoe rose

I don't think you really want to know. Not asking like that.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah maybe I don't It's your birthday so, whatever you want not that it's not always whatever you want you know what I mean

zoe rose

It'll be a nice surprise for you.

yasmin puckerman

You should let me surprise you tho

zoe rose

I don't like surprises.

yasmin puckerman

not even sexy ones in the shape of me?

zoe rose

Not even those

yasmin puckerman

aight

If you say so

zoe rose

You could always tell me what you wanted to do ahead of time so it’s not a surprise

yasmin puckerman

See this why you’re the smart one between us

zoe rose

So tell me.

yasmin puckerman

how bout I just keep myself ready for friday. you could tell me when to edge over text while you're out having your day whenever you want, on the dime that way by the time your birthday sex comes around I'll already be so fucking desperate for whatever you want to do to me or not do to

if I had hit you with that friday morning you woulda been mad?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

cool good

zoe rose

I would also like to dress you that day and on Sunday.

Those can be my gifts.

yasmin puckerman

I'm down but thats not your gift nice try tho

zoe rose

It will be better than any material thing you could get me.

yasmin puckerman

well you can just like it more than a  legit thing, that’s fine

zoe rose

Deal.

yasmin puckerman

(laughing)

(peace) (alien) (kiss)

yasmin puckerman

heyyyooooo Happy Birthday

zoe rose

Thank you.

[ 10am ] Now edge for me.

yasmin puckerman

yeah okay. But wait, can I bring you and Marley's gift by before you leave?

zoe rose

The correct response is 'yessir'

We'll wait for you.

yasmin puckerman

aww YESSIR ok cool, thanks oh shit wait hold on. [ ... ]

(mastur.gif)

zoe rose

loved this

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

omw

zoe rose

[ 12:37pm ] Edge again.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir. got you.

masturbate.gif

zoe rose

Fuck. I can't wait to fuck you tonight.

yasmin puckerman

listen YOU can't wait???

this the second time you edged today too ooor

I'm already hella ready for you, still wet since the first time

zoe rose

That's exactly how I want you. Tonight, I want you dripping.

yasmin puckerman

fuck yeah you got it what time you guys coming back? not that I'm rushing you I'm just you know, wondering

zoe rose

Around 9pm. Why? Are you desperate already?

yasmin puckerman

I'm always desperate when you say you're going to fuck me

zoe rose

Is that so? I'll keep that in mind every time I say that.

yasmin puckerman

you gonna be thinkin about me thinkin about you?

zoe rose

I can absolutely admit to that.

yasmin puckerman

dope that mean I got you wet too?

you got any hints about you're planning to enjoy this birthday sex?

zoe rose

I haven't decided yet. There will most certainly be some choking and humiliation involved. Perhaps I'll suffocate you with my pussy.

yasmin puckerman

well damn catch me making sure this seats all clean for you, Sir.

I don't even need air

zoe rose

I’ll be sure to remember that.

[ 2:54pm ] Again.

yasmin puckerman

mastur.gif

can you see how wet I am? these panties been done for, i'm gonna have to change before I head out

zoe rose

Actually, don’t even wear underwear. And wear a skirt. I’m not done with you.

yasmin puckerman

tf am I gonna get a skirt fro yes, Sir

yasmin puckerman

[ 20 minutes later ]

zero underwear, promise

zoe rose

Good girl. As soon as you get to where you’re going, you’re going to slip into the bathroom to edge for me.

yasmin puckerman

imma have to go wipe my thighs anyway so, might as well

zoe rose

Good, I like that you're dripping.

[ 7:21pm ] I'm on my way back. Edge again.

yasmin puckerman

fuck sorry, there was a line for the bathroom

(mastur.gif)

how long does it take to get back, Sir?

zoe rose

I'll be back in my room in less than thirty minutes.

yasmin puckerman

bet. I'm gonna be waiting there wait no, do you need a min?

nah i'm just gonna be waiting th

zoe rose

By the time I get to my room, I expect you kneeling in front of my door.

yasmin puckerman

oh than fu

yes, Sir. you got it. Imma be there.

zoe rose

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

Did you know it was mothers day?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

I didn't now I feel like a dick

zoe rose

It's not too late to call her.

yasmin puckerman

I'm waiting for my brother to finish

zoe rose

He beat you to it?

yasmin puckerman

The first time ion think either of us got through but yeah, he did

It's okay, she'll still love me

zoe rose

I'm sure you're fine.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah it was fine, she wasn't mad I told her about Disney Thanks for the invite today

zoe rose

Thank you for indulging Marley.

yasmin puckerman

Nah, that's light work she made it really fun

zoe rose

Yes but there was a lot of things I wouldn't with her that you did.

yasmin puckerman

I had a good time so, it's np did you?

zoe rose

I enjoyed you and Marley having a good time.

yasmin puckerman

I guess thats not a no

zoe rose

It doesn't matter because it wasn't for me. The person who was supposed to enjoy it did and that's all that I wanted.

yasmin puckerman

what would you do for your birthday if it was just for you? besides me, obviously

zoe rose

Sitting on the beach, drinking and smoking. Then maybe a car show or something later in the night. Before coming going home with you for birthday sex.

yasmin puckerman

you wanna do that next weekend? the retirement homies around this island are always having car shits, bet theres something

zoe rose

Yes. Please.

yasmin puckerman

dope I only work until 1 sat

zoe rose

Then you're under my orders for the rest of the weekend.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir. I mean, except I got a 6 to close sunday but beside that it'll be dope

zoe rose

We can hit the beach again before you go into work.

yasmin puckerman

you look good on the beach, so I'm down

zoe rose

I'll get the cooler ready.

yasmin puckerman

you wanna dress me?

zoe rose

For the car show? Yes.

yasmin puckerman

cool I like when you do that

zoe rose

Good. I like it too.

yasmin puckerman

loved this

yasmin puckerman

Can this be a regular thing?

zoe rose

You being mine for the weekend?

yasmin puckerman

yeah. Exactly that

zoe roseB

I want that too.

yasmin puckerman

I just might have to work sometimes. Like we did this weekend tho that’s cool, yeah?

zoe rose

I think it worked out this weekend like that.

yasmin puckerman

I think so too, Sir

it was dope

zoe rose

I think so too.

yasmin puckerman

From Saturday morning next week?

zoe rose

Yes, standing orders.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir

zoe rose

Good girl. Goodnight, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

Goodnight

yasmin puckerman

hey

morning or whatever

zoe rose

Good morning, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

What you up to today? Besides dumbass class

zoe rose

Just that. Bored out of my fucking mind, you?

yasmin puckerman

mood. same. everyone is always like, you don’t even enjoy the kink classes? Like I’m obviously only taking kink classes. It’s still book work and listening so, I’m still

zoe rose

Especially in the intro classes.

yasmin puckerman

I joined a study group

zoe rose

For what reason?

yasmin puckerman

to copy ppls work also I like the girl running it, she’s sweet

zoe rose

I should have known there was a cute/sweet girl involved.

yasmin puckerman

at least I know what motivates me blonde and everything

zoe rose

And here I thought I was the one set in my ways

yasmin puckerman

whats your thing? brats who are full of themselves

zoe rose

That one is actually new.

yasmin puckerman

hmm, getting adventurous

zoe rose

Seems so.

yasmin puckerman

well I'm hella happy to help  

zoe rose

Send me a pic

yasmin puckerman

of me like right now?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

zoe rose

liked this

Good angle.

yasmin puckerman

I’m hella sexy from all angles so, thank you

zoe rose

Yes, you are.

yasmin puckerman

Send me one, Sir?

zoe rose

Say please.

yasmin puckerman

Please, Sir?

zoe rose

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

thanks

saves image

yasmin puckerman

Mind if I kick it with you between a class today or sum?

zoe rose

No. Bored?

yasmin puckerman

Imma see if you’ll let me ask nicely to go down on you.

zoe rose

Ask nicely and we'll see.

yasmin puckerman

If I start saying what I know you’ll say before you say it, that gonna piss you off?

zoe rose

I'm not making any promises.

yasmin puckerman

damn, cause you know I’d like it

zoe rose

So go ahead and try me. What will I say?

yasmin puckerman

hb I just count my lucky stars today and ask where I should meet you? So I can ask properly

zoe rose

My place.

yasmin puckerman

okay cool thanks, Sir

zoe rose

liked this

zoe rose

Today is my turn to ask if I can go down on you between classes.

yasmin puckerman

wait you’re ASKING me???

say pleas

Uh, hell yes I don’t gotta jump through a hoop first?

zoe rose

No. I just want your pussy on my mouth.

yasmin puckerman

fuck yes wherever you want, Sir.

zoe rose

Your room exactly three minutes after our second class ends.

yasmin puckerman

I'll be right on time

zoe rose

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

I work til 9 tomorrow, you gonna be busy?

zoe rose

I am not. Are you wanting to start our weekend early?

yasmin puckerman

Yes please

zoe rose

Yes, come over after work.

yasmin puckerman

cool also I gotta reup pls, at least a Q

zoe rose

Alright just send me the 70

yasmin puckerman

thanks

zoe rose

liked this

[ ... ]

unliked this

What do you want to do tomorrow night?

yasmin puckerman

you wanna go out?

zoe rose

Out to a club?

yasmin puckerman

yeah, I could get changed at work, meet you back at campus?

zoe rose

Yes. I'll come by your play before you go to work. Pick out when you're going to wear for the night.

yasmin puckerman

okay dope yes, Sir How was your week?

zoe rose

It was satisfactory, no complaints. I went to class, smoked, chilled. You?

yasmin puckerman

It was good, flew by They been doing that lately

zoe rose

I like it.

yasmin puckerman

must be cause of all the relaxing I do come weekends

zoe rose

Is that what we call it? Relaxing?

yasmin puckerman

that’s what I’m calling it its relaxing for me well maybe not always in the moment, but afterward, overall, that shit

zoe rose

Yes. That makes sense.

zoe rose

You sent someone to bring me coffee?

yasmin puckerman

bomb coffee did you like it?

zoe rose

I almost slammed the door in his face.

yasmin puckerman

oh no but you didn’t?

zoe rose

His only saving grace was saying your name. Otherwise he would have gotten the coffee thrown in his face.

yasmin puckerman

damn coffee is hot

wait are you mad?

I should have told you it was coming, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that

zoe rose

I'm not mad. Just thrown off.

You should have.

yasmin puckerman

my fault, I’m sorry

did you like the coffee th

maybe I could make it up to you later?

zoe rose

You're tasked with finding a girl for both of us to fuck at the club.

yasmin puckerman

yes Sir hell yes I'm all over it, any preferences?

zoe rose

Your type. I want to watch you dom someone.

yasmin puckerman

fuck okay yup, I'll keep my eye out

zoe rose

Good. Do you like the dress I chose for you tonight?

yasmin puckerman

Imma look so fine

I like everything you pick for me

zoe rose

I like everything I pick for you too.

yasmin puckerman

[ later ] I got her

coming back rn

zoe rose

I'm in Private Room 6.

yasmin puckerman

okay damn, perfect is this gonna be a just me her thing? or like a me her... me her you?

zoe rose

I'm only watching tonight.

yasmin puckerman

cool, okay dope just give me like 5 mins, Sir?

zoe rose

5 min and not a second more.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir

zoe rose

liked this

yasmin puckerman

I know I just left but, can I come over?

zoe rose

You really should have just stayed with me the extra day.

yasmin puckerman

I thought I'd be a big girl and sleep in my own bed tonight but nah

zoe roseBOT — 05/31/2021

Come here.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir

zoe rose

liked this

JUNE

yasmin puckerman

do you wanna fuck me at lunch, Sir? please? I'm in a hella bad mood

zoe rose

No. I’m not in the mood.

yasmin puckerman

okay you good?

zoe rose

Yes. Why are you in a bad mood?

yasmin puckerman

because it feels like a Monday

and I'm irritating

zoe rose

You’re irritating?

yasmin puckerman

YES me.

annoying tf out of my self

zoe rose

Take a smoke break. You'll feel better.

yasmin puckerman

you're so fucking right oh shit, thats why! I slept in so I didn't have time to this morning

zoe rose

You're welcome.

yasmin puckerman

i thought I was just in a fight with me thanks, your wisdom is plentiful

zoe rose

liked this

We got this new strand, Skywalker OG. You want?

yasmin puckerman

hell yes and also yes please

zoe rose

Good girl. You'll be getting Chinese food later on tonight.

yasmin puckerman

okay dope but I might only be able to swing a 8th rn, I gotta check the funds

zoe rose

Pay me back next paycheck.

yasmin puckerman

music to my ears

zoe rose

Mhm.

yasmin puckerman

you were def right

and I hella want to kiss you

I feel better now

zoe rose

Good.

yasmin puckerman

hey

zoe rose

Hello.

yasmin puckerman

fuck I wasn’t expecting that

zoe rose

I know.

yasmin puckerman

is this an invite? or am I being teased?

zoe rose

It's always an invite.

yasmin puckerman

yeah always? I get out of work in 55 minutes.

zoe rose

Not that you're counting or anything.

yasmin puckerman

yeah I am def counting 54 minutes

zoe rose

And how long does it take you to get here?

yasmin puckerman

20 mins ish

zoe rose

Door's open. Come into the bedroom naked.

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah yes Sir.

zoe rose

liked this

yasmin puckerman

holy shit the pride tourist wave has hit grovekey it's been so fucking busy

zoe rose

Are you getting paid more?

yasmin puckerman

[ backdated ] I wish I was bout to go on a break though so I got a solid 15 mins to sit my ass down

zoe rose

Only a couple more hours. FT while I roll?

yasmin puckerman

I was just about to ask that

3 more mins and I’m headed out back.

zoe rose

Yes. Just call.

[ see here ]

yasmin puckerman

I just rolled a fatty, want me to come by?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

Orange soda?

zoe rose

Yes, please.

yasmin puckerman

Dope. I'll be there in 5

hold on munchies kicked in and I'm staring into this vending machine like it owns my life do you think I want a reeses or a kit kat?

zoe rose

I thought you were waiting to smoke with me. We both want Reeses.

yasmin puckerman

nah I said I rolled I had one ready one my way home before I showered and changed maybe I should go with skittles. that meatball sub I had at work is not sittin right, chocolate probably wont help

Or them little mini cookies

zoe rose

Mhm. Not cookies, you just said chocolate won't help.

yasmin puckerman

so I don’t work sat but there’s an alum event I want to hit up at 7, do I need to ask permission or some s that cool with you Sir?

zoe rose

Which event is that?

yasmin puckerman

poker night

well it’s a men’s only thing but I wanna see if they’d let me ride and I’m cute or whatever, I’m sure I can convince somebodies rich daddy

zoe rose

Okay. You’re still ordered to my room after.

yasmin puckerman

dope It goes to 11 but I don’t think I’ll need that long to clean up$$ and head out

zoe rose

Where is it going to be held?

yasmin puckerman

someone said it was gonna be at that oak club place

zoe rose

Will you need an escort?

yasmin puckerman

yeah I will

zoe rose

Want it to be me?

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah I was gonna just figure something out but that’d be dope I’m so mf good at poker

just gotta find out what the buy in is so I’m prepared.

zoe rose

if there's a difference you can't make, I got you

yasmin puckerman

If it come to that, I’ll give it right back after I triple it

zoe rose

Alright.

Which seminars are you signing up for?

yasmin puckerman

Just the switch one if I’m gonna be forced into an extra class this week at least it’s Miss Bakers she aight

zoe rose

That's smart.

yasmin puckerman

you pick any?

zoe rose

I'm looking now. I might just do the TPE class since it's in my wheelhouse.

yasmin puckerman

yeah might be interesting, good thinking

zoe rose

Besides me dressing you, have you ever experienced TPE in the submissive role?

yasmin puckerman

nah but, I’m taking that intro class right now

zoe rose

I want to explore that with you.

yasmin puckerman

like an all day thing?

zoe rose

Starting with a few rules. Then leading up to an all day thing.

[deeisace]

ughhhhhhhhh

if i may ramble slightly

dysphoric as fuck tonight lads

like there’s no one specific thing i just really really want to start T as fast as possible

yknow?

i have a fucking year to wait

and i know a lot of folks have it a ton worse off than me, but that dunt say how i don’t feel shitty

i can’t words apparently, yknow what i mean

i already have waited a year since i finally decided like i’m gonna go to a doc an all that, which was all just more waiting and three times going to a vaguely shitty therapist

i don’t know if it was shitty cs the guy was shitty or cs i can’t words correctly or see tone or none a that so easy when i’m stressed

and i missed a call from my doctors like my gp on friday and the phoneline for them isn’t open til tomorrow and i’m dying what if it was really time sensitive or some bollocks

and also i’m terrible at actually making phone calls

it’s okay when i actually talk, generally, but forcing myself to press the call button is Not Gd

oh apparently there is one specific thing

my chest in particular can fuck the fuck off

except that wont happen for like two and a half years yet

and my voice kinda, except that it’s a bit scratchy cs i’m stressed and my ears/throat are the first things to go, except that i know it only sounds vaguely better cs i’m ill/stressed, and that it won’t properly sound vaguely like this for a very long time yet

and how i very definitely can’t properly predict what’ll happen on T neither prolly wrecks my head like well i know what i’ll look like eventually cs i look exactly like my dad anyway but shorter but the voice and the whole process of Things Happening idk what to expect and and and even tho i’m very sure i want this, i don’t what the this is that’ll happen, not exactly Exactly, yknow

and i think i’m stressed anyway, cs i’m Emotional As Fuck this week apparently, and i got a shitty mark on my research proposal (well, there wunt no mark, but my supervisor was like, change this and this and you need to fucking research everything a ton more otherwise it’ll be shitty etc etc) and i have to force myself to phone my doctor tomorrow and work then there’s also the quiz night tomorrow, with seven other people (including Adam, who i don’t know what to do about at all in any way or even if it’s a Thing but i’m probably gonna sit vaguely away from him and try not to be weird) in pub full of other people and i have to not cry about that but i said i’d go and i will have fun i’m sure of it except there’ll be people and i’ll be awkward and tired and weird

and then there’s just so much uni stuff that i don’t i don’t give a shit about it even tho i’m sposed to be so interested in all this stuff and i am sometimes but i can’t with the assignments and the actually turning up to lessons but i have to because this is important and i’ve spent so long on this i have to finish it even if to just leave it all behind i have to get this degree and i’m in so much debt i can’t have nothing to show even when i never do fuck all with it

and i’m missing the big party at my mum’s this weekend and seeing so many people i havent for years and my parents and my sister bcs i’ve ~got uni stuff to do~

and i haven’t had this much of a cry in a very long time

and i don’t know if i always feel like this in november because i don’t look after myself properly or if it’s an actual Thing cs i do always feel way better in the spring/summer than i do the winter and it’s always october/november that i start to feel this shit and around march that it kinda clears up

and there’s another thing to feel Anxious but Do Nothing about and i’m just gonna stop typing and Cry now okay? okay.

[arplis]

Arplis - News: Arlyns Warm (& Sort of Last-Minute DIYed) Holiday Reveal

Spoiler alert: This starts sad, but I promise a happy endingjust like your favorite Hallmark movie. Yes, its a post about decorating for Christmas, but its a bit of a journey (and your prize for sticking around is seven tips for a pretty holiday look without a ton of planningnext to a cash reward, what more could you want, hm?).

Before moving to LA, I had a long-standing Christmas tradition that involved a sleepover at my place with my twin nephews. Wed go buy a fresh tree, head to Target to pick out their yearly ornaments (and okay, I usually caved and bought them several when they couldnt pickauntie privilege), and settle in for the night with a big ol cheese pizza and tons of candy to decorate and watch holiday movies. When I left Florida, my absolute favorite weekend of the year stayed behind along with my family, and frankly, I didnt feel festive enough last year to decorate. Sure, I bought a tree and then proceeded to cry my way through placing all the memories from years past on it (like I said, no this whole post wont be one giant Joni Mitchell River-esque depressing monologue). But, its been almost two years, and I realized that it was time to start making some new traditions, starting with proper decorations to set the scene for the season.

By proper, I mean nothing more than something that actually brought me joy. In my last home, I didnt care even the tiniest bit about my Christmas aesthetic. Id throw around scraggly bows, dangle strange garlands in places that would inevitably fall off (left unfixed until January). While I appreciate a classic, kitschy look, this didnt make me happy. Looking back, it was a lot like the holiday aisle at Big Lots come December 26sparse, random and nowhere I wanted to be. BUT THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT. Guys, I really actually tried, and whoa, I love coming home. I get so jazzed to know Ill walk through that door after work to all the fairy lights on (thanks, timers) and all I need to do is light my pine-scented candles.

When I first discussed decorating and shooting my place for the blog, I told Emily I would take the more last-minute DIY angle for this story, except, ha, I should know myself better than to think Im a DIY person (have I talked about the unfinished dining chairs sitting in a corner of my master bedroom enough times for you to understand the stakes here?). Im more of an early minute buying personif we can all agree thats the opposite of last-minute DIY, but dont worry Emily, I pulled out a few stops even for me to salvage this story. Really, though, its an excuse to show you guys my living and dining rooms again, this time just festooned for Christmas using nearly everything Target, because those guys have affordable holiday decor on lock.

Aside from what I bought, there were a few things I planned on doing going into this: dried oranges for garland and ornaments, and the addition of real greenery to anything faux for a lusher more natural look, but more on that in just a bit when we get there. Lets start in the living room:

Creating a Christmas Couch With Simple Textile Swaps

Swapping out textiles seasonally always felt to me like the equivalent of womens magazines telling me when I was younger that Id be going from day to night far more often than I ever have (never). Who was really doing this? Sure, my mom would throw a random Christmas pillow on the sofa when I was younger, but a full swap was absolutely something Id NEVER consider doing. Except well, for the sake of this shoot, I did it, and guess what. IM OBSESSED WITH IT. Dont knock it til you try it.

I left one of my everyday pillows out because it played well with everything else, but Im half tempted to never actually switch them back. Im officially living the cozy life and DONT MAKE ME GO BACK. But seriously, seeing that Fa la la pillow and those little gold embroidered Christmas trees fill my heart with childlike wonder and joy and Im now a winter textiles swap person (once I figure out a more permanent solution than throwing my year-round pillows and blanket in the guest bedroom).

Neutral Tree + Homemade Goodies

The (Christmas-celebrating) world is divided into two subsects: those who take no issue with faux trees, and those that choose to torture themselves with a real evergreen. I am the latter. Every year, when it comes time to recycle this baby, I curse myself for the massacre of needles. But alas, I cant be stopped and I will always opt for a real tree. This is a noble fir that I picked up at Lowes and it has that gappy vibe everyone is into right now. I like how you can load up a branch front to back and things dangle so nicely, sparkling and dazzling in the twinkle lights.

As for the decor, this is actually the first year in a long time I went with white lights. Ive always been a colored-lights just throw crazy stuff up on the tree and call it a day girl (correction: let your small nephews throw crazy stuff up on the tree and call it a day). Someone once asked me if I changed my trees color motif every year and Im pretty sure I rudely laughed in their face before I realized they were serious. No. I am not that person. This is why this year, once I realized that oh wait, people will be seeing my home and I needed to try, I opted to go for something a little more neutral so I could build on it over time. I also had a box full of handmade and drawn ornaments from my nephews that I needed to be sure made it up on those branches (see the paper and crayon snowman, for example). Theres enough going on in my apartment that something a little more minimal didnt make me want to crawl out of my skin a week into the merriment.

Because I wanted some color, I thought to do what evidently everyone else on the internet also thought to do this year: dried oranges as ornaments. I definitely did not get the mailer that must have gone around to tell everyone this was the look of 2019, but regardless, I love it. Some string (in a white and red becauseChristmas), a bag of small oranges and a few hours to dry them out in the oven (Erin from Francois et Moi has a great tutorial here) and boom, I supplemented my tree for about$4. LAST-MINUTE DECORATING LIFE HACK. Put dried oranges on just about everything and you have an instant holiday lewk that feels warm, unpretentious, welcoming and a wee-bit British (i.e. all I ever want to feel).

Some of my favorite ornaments I scooped up this year with my nephews top of mind: the sloth, the fabric Santa, the clip-on glittery birds, and the ceramic turtle doves (I promptly forced my husband Charles to sit and listen to why I got those to represent our undying love). Oh goodness, and I cant move on before discussing that Cookies For Santa plate and milk jug. No, there are no children in my house, but when I saw it, I knew I needed to hoard it for the day that there are because every year my sister runs around trying to find something to put cookies and milk in and it always ends up being an awkward mini loaf pan or something and this feels like a pat yourself on the back for planning ahead moment that I wanted to put on display.

Mix Real + Faux

HOT TIP: Faux garland is so great for using year after year and traditionally, I used to think it looked very fake, but Target has some good stuff. I went with their faux white pine and berries strand here and over the archway and Im so happy with them. This one is 72, so, maybe dont be like me and instead measure before you figure out how much of something you need. I ended up with about 8 inches of bare mantel and had to guinea rig a solution. The left side there, by the candlesticks, is actually a piece of faux greenery also from Target in the same color/finish that I added to the end and BOOM, fixed.

Once I put the eucalyptus wreath on the door, however, I realized it was much cooler in tone than the garland and side by side, they looked a little jarring. My solution? Get some actual eucalyptus (I had some leftover from my Thanksgiving tablescape) and shove in pieces of it about every 6 inches or so. This accomplished two things for me: it married the color/style gap between the wreath and the garland, but it also brought some life to the faux-ness. (Again, this stuff is good, so it doesnt NEED it, it was just a visual preference for me).

Can we talk about the cutest stocking? Growing up in Florida, a land devoid of mantels and fireplaces for obvious reasons, we were not a stocking family. Every now and then, my mom might tie some to the stair banister, but they were never full of anything. Well folks, thats over. I live in LA now, a land with NON-FUNCTIONING fireplaces, but fireplaces nonetheless. LA is all about illusions after all, so as long as it looks like a fireplace, thats all that matters, right? Throw some fairy lights in, no problem (and maybe light some candlesI used these candlesticks from Targetif youre brave and attentive for that real fire feel). This knit guy with the poms is maybe my favorite thing I got this year but HEAVY (hence the nutcracker on top of the stocking holder for that oneI have a little cut-out in the molding that meant less stability, but itll probably be fine if you have a normal 90-degree angle on your mantel).

And, in one of my favorite last-minute moves to use up random leftovers of things, I took some ribbon I had bought for my gift wrap, tied a little piece into a bow and velcroed it to this art piece. Dressing up your artwork can be SO fun for holidays (remember Emilys googly eyes over that oil portrait?). Its so unexpected, costs basically nothing and will get everyones attention, I promise.

Sprinkle Christmas Cheer Throughout Other Vignettes

This whole post should be titled Never Underestimate the Holiday Styling Power of the Bottle Brush Tree because if you look closely enough, there is absolutely one in nearly every shot angle of my home. I threw some on my console table, on a side table, on my coffee table, on my TV standand just WAIT until you get to the dining room. Bottle brush tree galore! They are very affordable and if you dont mind glitter sprouting from nearly everywhere until the end of time, theyre almost all you need to fill in your home with some Christmas spirit outside of the big moments (tree, fireplace). Same goes for leftover ornaments, pieces of greenery (such as free scraps from the tree lot), and super budget-friendly figurines, like these reindeer that make me so happy.

That blonde wood bowl is VERY good guys, and I will absolutely be leaving it out year-round, but for now, it screamed FILL ME WITH JINGLE BELLS so I had to oblige. These are 2-inch bells and honestly just so dang fun. Put them in a vase or bowl but save a few to sprinkle throughout other vignettes (or on a gift!).

The last moment I threw together in this room was the bench by my window. I moved the rust-colored velvet cushion into the guest bedroom (which honestly, I treat like a storage unit, so I know this is not a universal solution) and draped my sheepskin pelt a little asymmetrically. I gotta say, Im quite proud that this placement was my first go at it. The less fussing you do sometimes, the more effortless things look. I over-ordered pillows for my sofa, but thank goodness, because they worked great on here. The green pillow with the poms is SO cute and you might not see it here, but it has these little wood beads at the base of the pom pom which makes it extra special.

Alright, lets move this party into the dining roomafter you.

Accentuate Your Architecture

Ever since I saw Ginnys garland-bedecked archway into her dining room, I dreamed of being able to do the same thing. So when I stepped foot into this apartment for the first time, I instantly knew it would fulfill my greenery-over-archway dreams. This is three pieces of faux garland, hung with some small nails I dug out of an IKEA art hanging kit. Because of my 100-year-old plastered and heavily textured walls, Command hooks simply laughed the THREE times I tried themin three different sizes and configurations (both the laughter and hook type). I finally gave up and went to get the hammer. Cant wait to patch those holes come January, trulythough worth it to me.

Implement a Big Holiday Moment (Thats Actually Really Easy)

Over on the console, I went for a sort of kind of holiday village. It was my initial vision to do a jam-packed Christmas village here, so I bought what felt like hundreds of trees and houses, and then I put them all down and the credenza ATE it. It was like starting with a pan full of fresh spinach and ending up with 2 tablespoons of cooked spinach. My dreams were dashed and I came up with plan B: mix in everyday things with some holiday feels and pretend it was your plan all along. Im actually very happy with it and dont think I havent sat at my dining table some mornings and nights just looking over here with a twinkle in my eye and sugar plums dancing in my head. When you boil it down, its really just three new vignettes: the two bottle brush trees + seasonal candle (above), a footed bowl with some leftover greenery and bottle brush trees (below) and ceramic houses with some fairy lights shoved up into them on top of books which were already there (photo after next). Oh, and some oranges from the grocery store because #theme.

My favorite thing about this whole scene is probably those beautiful wreaths hanging by velvet ribbon over the windows. I LOVE a wreath-over-window (or, as youll see, mirror) moment and two windows meant I had two chances to do it in this room. Quickly: Im very much obsessed with this wreath. It looks so high-end with the dangling brass bells and it matches the garland in the living room, so both spaces speak to each other.

Over on the bar, my vintage gilded mirror called for another ribbon-hung wreath, but I went for the faux cypress leaf version instead to keep things more minimal. The addition of some new brass barware (the Project 62 line looks really good, folks) and a few bottle brush trees and voila, my holiday bar.

When In Doubt, Keep It Simple (For Real)

When it came to what to do on my table, this was REALLY a last-minute DIY situation because I had no idea (which is typically the case with my table). The day before this shoot, Emily texted me that she had some leftover garland at her house from her shoot, and I could come grab some if I wanted. So grab it I did, not knowing what I planned on doing with it, but I ended up throwing it on the table just to think and when I finally came to, I realized it was exactly where it belonged. I pulled out my kitchen sheers because I do not have clippers (apartment living), trimmed it to size and pulled out some small, cheap glass votives I had in my cabinets already to make things moody. AND THEN, I had some extra oranges from my tree ornaments and I just scattered some throughout to connect both rooms visually.

But wait, theres more. At the last minute (okay, the night before), I wanted to give the room more of a casual party vibe and wanted a dessert set up, so I ran out to Ralphs with the intention of making something with the zero minutes I had left in my life to whip up a baked good and found a pre-made bundt cake instead. A simple glaze (though Im sure you could find one glazed already), some cranberries I rolled in sugar, and a smattering of fresh sage leaves is all I needed to fool Sara into thinking I had actually made this when she made it over to shoot. SEMI HOMEMADE TRICKERY.

I will most certainly be doing this again in the future, and if you do, as well, everyone will think youre a domestic goddess. Set out some cute appetizer or dessert plates (these from the Hearth & Home with Magnolia are super cute with festive sayings on them that are subtle but still fun), flatware and napkins, and with very little effort, you just became the hostess with the mostest time to actually blow dry your hair before people show up.

And thus ends my holiday dissertation. It started out bleak, but I promised it would end on a high note, and theres no higher note than being pulled together enough to maybe put some curls in your hair (at least for me).

I rounded up ALL the goods I got from Target below in a few groupings, and yes, at the end of the season, you might find this stuff is sold out either in-store or online, so for that Im SO sorry, but ALWAYS check your local stores because they restock or people make returns and you might just find what youre looking for. Oh, and for a few more exclusive tips, I wanted to share the story Ruemag.com featured of my home as well, so check that out if youre interested. Thanks for stopping by and the happiest of holidays and the merriest of Christmases to you all.

1. Wooden Ornaments Set of 3 | 2. 28 LED Battery Operated Wreath | 3. Lit Up House Ceramic Christmas Ornament | 4. 13 Lit Gold Metal and Capiz Star | 5. 3ct Glass Christmas Ornaments Set Birds | 6. 72 Faux White Pine Garland with Berry | 7. 8ct Glitter Pine Cone Ornament Set | 8. Green with White & Gold Wreath Gift Wrap Roll | 9. 40ct Shatter Resistant Veranda Ornament Set | 10. Fabric Santa White Ornament | 11. Embroidered Tree Skirt | 12. Ceramic Birds Ornament | 13. Sloth Ornament Ornament | 14. Artificial Cedar Stem w/ Pine Cones | 15. Cream w/ Black Swiss Dot Gift Wrap Roll | 16. Faux Leaf Ball Ornament | 17. Truck with Bottle Brush Tree Ornament | 18. Philips 300ct Incandescent Mini String Lights

1. Large Gold Glitter Christmas Tree | 2. Christmas Nutcracker Figurine Gold | 3. Knit Square Throw Pillow with Corner Poms | 4. Holiday Stocking Sour Cream Knot with Red Poms | 5. Milk & Cookies Stoneware Set | 6. Small Gold Glitter Christmas Tree | 7. Wooden Oval Bowl with Handles | 8. 2 16pc Jingle Bells Vase Filler | 9. Cream Faux Fur Oversized Throw Pillow | 10. Embroidered Trees Velvet Throw Pillow | 11. Holiday Stocking Green Stripe | 12. 3pc Taper Candle Holder Set | 13. Texture Faux Fur Throw Blanket | 14. 3pc Mini Deer Figurines | 15. 10 12pk Unscented Taper Candle Set | 16. 2pk Basic Stocking Holder | 17. Large Mercury Glass Christmas Tree | 18. Fa la la Velvet Oversize Lumbar | 19. Clear Glass Vase Large | 20. Channeled Faux Fur Throw Pillow | 21. 4pc Green Flocked Bottle Brush Trees | 22. Large Bottle Brush Tree | 23. Philips 50ct Battery Operated LED Dewdrop Lights | 24. Small Ceramic House

1. 24 Faux White Pine Wreath with Metal Bell | 2. Set of 4 Linen Napkins | 3. 3pc Bottlebrush Trees | 4. Stainless Steel Cocktail Strainer | 5. 4pc Bottle Brush Christmas Tree Set | 6. Stainless Steel Cocktail Stirrer Spoon | 7. Ceramic House Figurines | 8. 5pc Stainless Steel Kayden Silverware Set | 9. 4ct Seasonal Appetizer Plates | 10. Oblong Brass Footed Bowl Gold | 11. 4pk Napkin Set Green | 12. 18 Faux Cedar Wreath | 13. Dew Drop LED Lights w/ Copper Wire | 14. Bottle Brush Tree with Wood Stand | 15. 2.5oz Stainless Steel Double Jigger

***photography by Sara Ligorria-Tramp, design and styling by Arlyn Hernandez

The post Arlyns Warm (& Sort of Last-Minute DIYed) Holiday Reveal appeared first on Emily Henderson.

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