#so i know the hyperfixatuon is still there but the energy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eddiethehunted · 6 months ago

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depressed because i am still hyperfixating on steddie and st in general but i’m just so burnt out. i can’t even recover from the burnout bc i just keep having to work and i can’t afford to not work. i can never just rest. so i have no energy to think about anything fun or even draw or write which i WANT to do!!! i just feel like a failure idk 😔 i know it isn’t like my responsibility to provide content but i like being active in fandoms!! i just have 0 energy to even do anything bc im so depressed and that just makes me more depressed 😭

#just want to crawl into a small hole and die #i need to take a break but i can’t AFFORD TO TAKE A BREAK #i have so many fucking bills #all the time #and rent #and groceries holy fuck #spent nearly 60 the other day for ONE meal prep #god what i would give to have been born into money so i didn’t have to work like this #i know others have it worse but i am allowed to be frustrated and tired and angry and i am #i feel like i’m not into st/steddie anymore and then see something and #get a rush of dopamine or whatever like i just did some drugs #but then i go back to default tired and numb state #i’m just so tired #so i know the hyperfixatuon is still there but the energy #to engage with anything at all #is not #and it fucking sucks and makes me feel worse kndao #lmao*#idk how i fucked that up so bad

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