#so i have to tell him the raw meat can't be put like that in the fridge or everything will get contaminated and hes like

[meuamo]

my brother is so stupid sometimes i really feel like taking my anger out on him but i know my mom will come to his aid like he's a injured puppy and not a 26 year old man

[keferon]

Chapter 3 of Blurr’s storyline in Mecha AU!

Previous chapter

“Speaking of Mechs.” continues Blurr, ”That thing's evacuation system sucks. What if you were stunned by the fall? What if something short-circuits and starts a fire???”

Swindle just clenches the glass in his hands. Feels the cold moisture of condensation dripping down onto his fingers.

“Then I'd burn.” he doesn't say

Under the cut⤵️

——————————————————

It's Swindle's birthday.

He thinks it is.

He's pretty sure.

Since he was taken into the program, it's always hard to tell. It's like time flows differently here. He had a calendar, but Brawl put it somewhere a while ago and then forgot where it was. And they're not allowed to have phones yet. Though Swindle assumes Onslaught managed to steal one from someone anyway.

Shit. Where's the calendar?

Swindle remembers the date, but can't remember the month.

There's a strange static tingling sensation in the back of his head. If he turns his head too fast, it'll grow into an unpleasant pricking pain.

The last time in the lab was disgusting.

He can't remember what month it is. He's not even sure why it bothers him so much. Not that birthdays mean anything within the walls of the program.

He stops in the middle of the living room and looks around with a meticulous eye. He's already checked the beds, desk, and nightstands...hah.

“Hey have any of you seen my calendar?”

Vortex, sitting on top of the bunk bed shakes the ash off his cigarette right down into Blast Off's lap.

“Nope.”

“TEX YOU'RE LITTERING ON MY BED.”

“I could have ..torn it up” offers Brawl from across the room.

Swindle turns on his heels and angrily rests his arms at his sides.

“You tore it?”

“I might have,” Brawl scratches the back of his head.

Swindle pinches the bridge of his nose

That's fine. Not that he cares that much. Not that any celebration at all would save the crappy day.

He has some new “experimental” medical procedure scheduled for later, which generally means suffering. Or if he's lucky, some critter will attack the city and instead of squirming on the slab, he'll have to go cuddle with huge nasty beasts. Which is slightly better than the actual procedures. He'd like that to happen. If only his head would also stop buzzing....

“Happy birthday to me” Swindle thinks, sticking his Mech hand under the plates of a particularly ugly monster and pulling something disgustingly oozing green blood out of there. He can see the faces of the random gawkers who didn't have time to evacuate. Ooh, some of them got that nasty stuff on their faces. Swindle has no time to feel sorry for them.

The monster did attack, but it's entirely possible that this monster ended the last meager supply of luck Swindle had. Because somewhere. Something. In his head begins to hurt again and the world in front of his eyes begins to slowly blur and..

ahh FUCK….

The monster grabs him knocks him to the ground and Swindle can literally feel in his bones that something's wrong, but the data from his Mech doesn't give him any useful information. Which isn't that uncommon. These things are glitchy as hell and aren't designed to recognize anything but the most basic popular malfunctions.

The word “error” shines mockingly in his face. Blurring in his eyes and reflecting in red on his uniform.

Error, error, what the hell is this error. He needs to know what's wrong so he doesn't accidentally kill himself, but all this bucket offers him is oops. You're in trouble teeheee~

He can hear the sound of Blast Off's giant cannon in the distance. And the loud rumble where Vortex and Onslaught are trying to get out of the ring of monsters.

His Mech is unresponsive. His damn machine refuses to move and Swindle isn't quite sure if it's the Mech that's the problem, because his head feels like a piece of raw rotten meat and maybe the error meant that what's broken is him.

The monster leans over him, trying to rip off whatever it can rip off and thank god this thing apparently isn't smart enough to realize that the Mech is controlled from the head because it's aiming straight for his chest.

He needs to get out. If he can't get this thing to move, he needs to get the fuck out of it before the alien gets him.

He manages to open the emergency hatch and quietly slip out and ohhhh the world is spinning, this is not bloody good.

He manages to take a few steps before a loud B A N G comes from somewhere above and IS THAT A TRAIN???? Who in their right mind would think of using a fucking train as a throwing weapon???? Is that Brawl? It's got to be Brawl. Oh, Swindle is so gonna kill him.

Because (sadly) in addition to the monster, the train and Swindle, there's also physics involved in this circus.

So while the monster is effectively brought to rest and knocked sideways with a hole in it’s head, the train stops its forward motion and starts its downward motion.

Right onto Swindle's head.

He just has time to think that dying from a train falling out of the sky is a pretty creative death. His legs are shaking, his head is buzzing and he only manages to take half a sluggish step in an attempt to avoid the inevitable when a loud “MOVE” comes to his ears and something yanks him to the side.

The tug sends fire down his spine and head. The ensuing landing reverberates with pain in his shoulder and sides. He barely has time to process the first two sensations until a moment later he hears a rumble so deafening that he thinks his eardrums are about to burst.

Swindle props himself up on his elbows and hisses in pain as the movement causes the back of his head to sting.

“Ah I'll fuckin' kill him...”

A voice comes above him

“Ouw dude. You okay?”

There's.. Some teenager hovering over him. And behind him is lying...the wrecked train...right where Swindle himself was standing a second ago.

The strange teen frowns worriedly and pulls Swindle upright and drags him somewhere else

“Come on, it's best not to be in the open during monster attacks”

“Ah” thinks Swindle ”right. Without Mech you're a pathetic tiny piece of chop begging to be stomped on by Brawl.”

He tries to focus on balance so he doesn't hang too much on this kid.

They find the nearest unlocked door, which turns out to be the entrance to an underground bar.

“So” says the stranger, letting go of Swindle and shaking the dust off his hair ” You're a pilot! That's so cool, but you're kinda small for a pilot.”

Swindle sighs sullenly.

“I'll let you have that one comment about my height because you helped me, but next time you're dead.”

“Helped? I saved your ass.”

“Helped a lot” says Swindle grudgingly. “Thanks.”

The teen laughs and climbs into the bar. It's a mess everywhere, people clearly evacuated in a hurry and threw everything in haste.

“What's your name? Oh, or, wait. Do you guys use code names? I've heard pilots call each other by call signs, but half the time those call signs sound so dumb, I don't see how they can respond to that.”

He waits for the kid to cut off his flow of words to take a breath. Man, what a chatty boy.

“You can call me Swindle.”

“Kay” the kid pulls out a couple glasses ”I'm Blurr. Would you like something Swindle? I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty good at mixing cocktails.”

Swindle looks around the room suspiciously. The bar, even though it's underground, looks pretty good. Too good, in fact. The place is clearly not for the poor.

He walks over to the bar and climbs onto a bar stool. There's no one else in here but them, but the electricity is on so he doesn't doubt for a second that they're being filmed by a security camera right now. Maybe a few even.

Blurr throws him an expectant look.

Swindle pretends to go through his pockets. As if there could be money in them out of nowhere. Then he makes a comically confused face and spreads his hands.

“Oh, no, I think I left my millions at home. What's the cheapest thing you have?”

Blurr snorts.

“Ice is free.”

“I'll take the ice then” nods Swindle.

There is a loud rumbling sound above them. It must be Vortex having fun again bouncing on the aliens that have fallen to the ground, crushing their heads.

Swindle is just. He takes off his helmet, takes a glass of ice and presses it to his head enjoying the way the nasty buzzing recedes.

Blurr waits for the rumbling to recede before speaking again.

“But really. You're a pilot but...uh. Are you even old enough to drink?”

Swindle sends him his best grumpy look. It's not exactly a joke about his height, but it's damn close.

“Are you old enough to pour?”

“Sure,” says Blurr too fast for it to be true. If Swindle had to guess, he'd say the guy in front of him is no older than seventeen. The tattered jeans and the T-shirt with the F1 logo printed on it definitely don't help. And, hey, those headphones look very expensive. So do the sneakers. Kid's clearly from a wealthy family.

Blurr pulls out a bottle of syrup from somewhere and pours it straight into his mouth. Doesn't miss, which is amusing. Doesn't wince, which is frankly impressive. Swindle feels the unbearable sweetness just looking at him.

It suddenly hits him

“Hey, do you have a phone?”

“Sure,” Blurr pours himself more syrup. Swindle twitches.

“What's the day today?”

Blurr's mouth is full of an unimaginable amount of sugar, so he just pulls out his phone and turns its screen toward Swindle and oh...oh. He was wrong about the date. And the month, too. It's not his birthday. His birthday was a week ago...

Does that mean he must be nineteen now? Yeah, that makes him nineteen.

Blurr takes the phone back and slips it into his pocket.

“Your face looks funny.”

“I just realized it's my birthday today,” smiles Swindle.

“Oooooooohh~~~” rejoices Blurr ”Congratulations! It's kind of poetic that you almost died just today. Can you imagine how funny the numbers on your tombstone would have looked.”

Swindle chokes on air.

“That's certainly a very appropriate comment, thank you...”

“Sorry haha said without thinking.” Blurr reaches under the counter again and pulls out a bottle from there “Hey, they have more syrups!”

There's another loud rumble from upstairs.

Blurr presses his head into his shoulders and stares up at the ceiling as if hoping to see something through it.

Swindle puts his elbows and head on the tabletop

“Don't worry, it's just Brawl.”

Blurr doesn't take his eyes off the ceiling

“ You can tell that by the sound of falling concrete?”

Swindle lazily dangles his feet. The chair is high and even the toes of his shoes don't reach the floor.

“Brawl is the loudest. And the heaviest, too. He's always crashing into everything, throwing things and breaking things too. You can hear him a mile away.”

He pauses to listen

“And that kch-ooooooooomm is Blast Off's cannon. It's some super rare experimentally advanced one, so it sounds like something out of a space movie. He couldn't stop bragging about it for half a year when he got it.”

Blurr chuckles and leans his elbows on the counter, relaxing.

“ And this...uh...what's this?”

“That's Vortex, he's our local lunatic. Best not to listen too much to what he does, it's almost always disgusting in ways you would never even consider.”

Blurr makes a disgruntled face and is silent for a couple minutes.

“It's weird hearing you call them by their names. I mean, I kind of always knew Mechs were run by people but you guys are never seen, so most of the time it's just.. Huge robots and huge monsters. You know what I mean. I was actually surprised when I saw you get out of that Mech.”

Swindle just nods. Because, what else is there to add.

“Speaking of Mechs.” continues Blurr, ”That thing's evacuation system sucks. What if you were stunned by the fall? What if something short-circuits and starts a fire???”.

Swindle just clenches the glass in his hands. Feels the cold moisture of condensation dripping down onto his fingers

“Then I'd burn.” he doesn't say

Blurr doesn't seem to notice his glum mood

“Oh, hey. If it's no secret, why did you go into piloting in the first place?”

Because he had no choice? He can't answer that, that information isn't for civilians.

Because he didn't know what he was getting into until it was too late? That's not vague enough either.

Because he was up to his neck in debt and barely into college before a smiling man showed up on his doorstep and offered him good money if he agreed to a couple tests...?

“I had to do it for the people.” Swindle decides to repeat a line of propaganda.

“Ohhhh.... That's...a good reason. The monsters are disgusting, of course. But the reason is cool.”

Swindle just. Holds his glass of melting ice, listens to Blurr's mutterings, and enjoys the peace. This random teenager is not his superior or colleague and has nothing to do with the organization at all. Swindle doesn't have to remember to salute or follow orders or fear being reported to his superiors.

He can just. Be.

Just him and his free ice and his saved for free life.

That's. Sweet.

Blurr's drinking syrup again.

...and a little disgusting.

—————————-

Brawl jumps out of bed, hits his head on a shelf hanging on the wall and drops everything on it onto Blast Off's head

“Swindle!!!” yells Brawl.

“Why are these books sticky???” shrieks Blast Off.

“You don't wanna know~” giggles Vortex.

Swindle sighs.

“You're alive!!!” ignores Blast Off Brawl's complaints. And a second later runs up and pulls Swindle off the floor in a crushing bear hug.

Behind them, Blast Off, with his face wrinkled in disgust, gathers all the dropped books back onto the shelf.

Swindle wheezes pathetically and slaps Brawl's arm with his palm, either to reciprocate the gesture or to beg for mercy

“Br...khaaaaah...Brawl I can't breathh.”

“OH. I'm uh. Here. Wait.”

Brawl puts him back on the floor and runs back to the shelf.

Onslaught, who has peeked into the room, puts a hand on Swindle's shoulder

“You've been gone a long time. Boss said you tried to escape.”

His tone isn't judgmental. And not pressuring. Not even questioning, but Swindle knows Onslaught wants more information. Swindle clutches a piece of napkin with a phone number in his pocket and smiles weakly.

“I've found a...friend? I think?”

Onslaught nods. In a manner that only he knows how to do. Not giving an opinion, not encouraging or condemning. Just taking in the information. Swindle admires him for that.

Behind them, Brawl pulls some piece of paper out from under the books that have just been put away and drops them again

“FUCK!” yells Blast Off. Vortex just starts hooting like a hyena.

“Hey Swindle I found the calendar!” yells Brawl waving the paper.

Swindle frowns in surprise.

“It's a different calendar...”

“I found you a new one.” nods Brawl.

“...Why...is it...it's torn in half?”

“It had stupid flowers drawn on it, so I ripped them off. And I accidentally ripped off more than I needed.”

“Ah,” says Swindle, clutching the calendar, ”That's...Thanks. I forgive you for losing the previous one.”

Behind them, Blast Off is trying to strangle Vortex with a jacket.

------------

Blurr waves his arms happily like a hyperactive windmill.

“Swindle!!!”

Swindle smiles and adjusts his glasses

“Your party can be seen from across city.”

“I know~~” primps Blurr “Are you hungry? There was a snack table around here somewhere.”

“I didn't bring any money.” lies Swindle.

“Hey man, it's a party. Help yourself, it's free.”

“Оh.” Swindle's mood instantly brightens. “All right, then.”

“You look terrible” Blurr decides to share.

Swindle, busy shoveling food into his pockets, nods.

“I've had a rough week. Actually, it'd be cool if you didn't tell anyone you saw me here. I'm kind of not supposed to be here.”

He doesn't elaborate.

Blurr is a civilian. In his mind, a rough week is rude people or an exam or bad weather. Swindle's bad week is strap marks on his wrists and double vision. It's nausea from injections and sleepless nights because Vortex won't stop screaming in his sleep.

Blurr doesn't know that. With him, Swindle can pretend to be somewhat normal.

-----------

“Heeeeey“ says Blurr ‘I haven't seen you in a long time~"

“That” thinks Swindle ”is a pretty standard phrase for both of them.

Blurr looks older. Taller too. He was taller than Swindle before, but now that difference is starting to look almost comical. He's also flaunting a cast on his arm.

“Did you get hurt?”

“Didn't make a turn at training” waves Blurr off “It's no big deal. Wanna go find something to eat?”

Blurr is always trying to feed him, Swindle notices over time. Offers him drinks or snacks or whatever.

“ I like your uh..cap?”

“I got a promotion” Swindle smiles proudly “Me and the guys were made a special group...actually you're not allowed to know more than that, so you'll have to take my word for it when I say we are officially cool.”

He purposely adjusts his cap by the brim so Blurr can get a good look at it.

Blurr makes a delighted sound. Something between a “wow” and a giggle. He generally makes a lot of sounds all the time. Tapping his fingers on every hard surface, stomping in place like he's always late for something, laughing, whistling, clicking his tongue. A human orchestra.

__________

Onslaught sits down next to Swindle and clutches his hands in his lap in front of him. This makes the bed legs squeak pitifully. Onslaught has grown surprisingly large. He can almost rival Brawl in height already. Most people find that intimidating, but Swindle just thinks Onslaught is like a wall. A big, solid concrete wall that's so good to hide behind.

“Be careful with what you tell this guy.”

“Don't worry” says Swindle ”He's not the type of friend you tell secrets to. He's just a fun dude who's great to hang out with.”

Onslaught hums.

“And who feeds you for free.”

“If that's how you're trying to ask me to share, you're not doing a very good job.”

Vortex snaps his fingers as he walks past them

“Hey Swindler, the lab is closed for today. It's your day off.”

“Wha...”

Onslaught tilts his head.

“Vortex. What did you do?”

“I spat in their dna sample vault” proudly proclaims Vortex “and didn't tell them exactly where.”

-----———————-

Blurr frowns.

“Hey...are you okay?”

“No” thinks Swindle.

“My friend died” he says instead.

He's not okay. He feels like an animal caught in a beartrap, trying to chew off its own paw to get free.

Except the trap is closed around Swindle's head and it's not a body part he can afford to lose.

There's been a lot of talk. Even more rumors. Swindle listened but tried not to believe.

And then one of pilots, Shockwave… was taken to the lab and brought back a different damn man and it felt like Swindle had the rug pulled out from under his feet with hot coals underneath.

Because Swindle's boss, with his stupid, rehearsed smile, started writing reports about how “human personality flaws are something that can be fixed. That challenging behavior is something that can be repaired with tools.

Blurr freezes.

“Who?”

“Vortex.”

Because of course it's Vortex. Talented but difficult to handle. Powerful but uncontrollable.

They wanted a pilot who would be a beast on the battlefield and a loyal dog on base. And who else would be a more ideal test subject than him?

Vortex was being very rude that day, even by Vortex standards. Yelling and swearing and throwing things around. Kept saying that no shitty lab could make him “a fucking puppet.”

Scratching the stitches on his head until he started leaving a trail of blood behind him.

He went on a mission.

And never came back.

The reports said it was all the monsters' fault. That Vortex was unstable. That the accident had nothing to do with the new technology. But it was nevertheless suspended.

Swindle is both bitter and amused by this. Vortex would eat the same monsters for breakfast any other day. The bastard was unkillable.

“Oh my god” says Blurr “I'm so sorry to hear that.”

He says something else. Probably comforting. About how Vortex died protecting people, maybe. About Vortex being a hero.

“Vortex,” thinks Swindle, ”loved life. He loved adrenaline and danger and pain and thrill and fear, but he never wanted to die. They did something to him. Something that made him go over the edge.”

Vortex got his head in the trap and ripped it off to escape it.

Swindle knows him and the others are next. And knows that no one but themselves can help them.

---------------------------

Blast Off seems...very quiet. He could never stop complaining about Vortex before. Yelling about the garbage. Resenting the unmade bed and the cigarette ashes.

Vortex's bed remains unmade.

Blast Off regularly cleans everything up, but never wipes away the little circles of ash from the places where Vortex used to put out cigarettes on the furniture.

Onslaught puts his hand on Swindle's shoulder and squeezes. Not hard. Just enough for Swindle to register the gesture as important.

Standing nearby, Blast Off lights a cigarette and leans on Onslaught.

“Ons told me about your plan. I want to join in.”

“What kind of plan? Can I get involved?” inquires Brawl.

Onslaught sighs.

“Repeat after me - I don't know, they don't tell me anything.”

“I don't know, they don't tell me anything.”

“Good job” nods Onslaught “From now on, every time they ask you any - listen. Any! Question about us, you will answer them with this phrase.”

“Got it,” grins Brawl.

Swindle smiles.

“Gentlemen, it's time to violate all that is written, and rewrite all that is violated.”

__________________

Blurr lazily takes his eyes off the phone. He's wearing a racing suit and tons of hairspray. He's shiny and gleaming like a fine collectible figurine that should be on the shelf of an expensive exhibit. He's also bored.

“Sorry buddy, the interview is long over, if you have any questions you'll have to pay for the session.”

Swindle smiles.

“How about one tiny little question?”

Blurr makes funny big eyes.

“SWINDLE!!! I haven't seen you in a thousand years! You...oh I didn't recognize you haha sorry. Nice coat. You quit being a pilot?”

Swindle proudly adjusts his glasses. He's wearing a brand-new, ironed shirt that's exactly his size. Nice neat tie, expensive coat. Swindle isn't surprised Blurr didn't recognize him immediately. Sometimes he looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize himself. After all those years of wearing the pilot's uniform, he felt almost attached to it. And yet here he is.

“You could say I moved.” he winks snarkily, “Up. All the Mechs you see on the streets now are my Mechs~”

Blurr completely forgets about his phone.

“REALLY?? Oh man congrats to you!”

“Thanks” nods Swindle ”You want something to drink? I'm buying.”

———————-

Onslaught adjusts his tie. It's still, years later, a little strange to see him in a uniform instead of a pilot's suit.

“You do realize it's going to be hard to find a person like that, right? We need someone famous enough to be effective and dumb enough to want to save mankind instead of sunbathing on a yacht.”

Swindle adjusts his glasses and leans back in his chair.

Someone outgoing so they can quickly befriend all the right people. Handsome enough to have their face printed on a poster. Smart just enough not to say too much. And not associated with Mecha program so they can't be accused of trying to get promoted through their acquaintances.

Someone who already has everything but still willing to put themselves at risk for the cause.

“You know, I think I have a possible candidate.”

[talkbycolor]

john doe game headcanons . . . ↷

A/N; i'm actually really sensitive about john doe JHSAJHSAJAS

Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader

CW; Just doe being the weirdo we love / PISSPISSPISS / implied cannibalism? not so much tho / ew stinky gay / sex with a hairball

john doe as a partner.

His love for you is pure, but the lack of understanding in humans makes it complicated, he doesn't know how to express it in a "correct" way.

He has little interest in humans but all his interest in You, do you want to learn to play an instrument? Doe too, he would learn to use a phone to call you although it would be useless since in the end he would follow you to work, he can't stand having you away for even a second!

He tried to eat you (unfortunately not in a sexual way), he wanted to bite, pull your teeth, and tear them out of your cheeks to eat them, you had to use a lot of patience to explain to him that this was painful and you could die

He likes your fluids, your sweat smells so good, it tastes great, your tears, he knows that tears mean something is wrong but he can't help but want to lick them, at least he's like a puppy in that way and that will make you laugh, Doe wants to help! your urine, he will drink it all without a problem, if you are both having a loving session in bed and you want to go to the bathroom, forget it, he will open your legs and help empty your bladder, he loved being your personal toilet, your blood is the sweetest of his paradise, be careful with accidental cuts or his mouth will stick like a leech to your wound

Ideas for romantic activities will probably come from television, be careful what he watches

At this point, Doe lives by and for you, he will adapt to your lifestyle and tastes, although he cannot understand most of them, the idea of "breaking up" does not exist in his head, you can walk away, even stop talking to him and he will continue behind you

But he has feelings, why don't you talk to him anymore? Did he do something wrong? He no longer leaves rats in the kitchen, he no longer tries to make You dinners with raw meat, is that the way he looks? Tell him your standards! Doe will change everything for you, even reality

He can definitely purr, he's more like an old, ugly, stray cat that will rest on your lap, but he's YOUR, old, ugly, stray cat.

He doesn't know how to give compliments, it's more like observations or comments about how you make him feel "You're wearing a big hat!" "A red dress!", "I'm so happy to see you!" but it's adorable that he reminds you that you are his whole life…somehow

It's like having a child at home, in the strangest way possible, he will try to make horrible crafts for you and help with housework without much success.

If you demand sex, Doe would probably do his best to make a nice cock, just for you, or a pussy depending on what you like, he will be submissive but if you ask him to take control he will try

And that will probably be the messiest and hardest sex you've ever had in your life, Doe always adores you like it's your last day on earth so in a sexual sphere it would be ten times worse

If you put on a movie at night, he will fall asleep halfway through, no exceptions, the sound of the television and your smell will be enough

Doe would definitely kill for you, he doesn't understand jokes so please don't say "Ugh I hate that guy, I hope he's dead" because yes, the guy will be dead.

In case You doesn't like the smelly boy, Doe will try to take showers regularly, at least to not smell like something out of the sewer, the pain doesn't matter if it's about you

Loves physical contact and quality time

Surprisingly, Doe has a driver's license, he would be your personal chauffeur, you may think it's an adorable gesture but he just wants to be sure where you are at every hour of the day… and help, of course.

Aside from adoring you, Doe actually has his own tastes and hobbies, he HAS feelings! He has tried knitting since the technology is very confusing, he really is like an old man

He tries to have a good relationship with your friends and family, if you have a big family he will probably feel overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he will stop trying to show that he loves you and wants to be with you.

Your younger nephews love it, they think of Doe as a weird-looking uncle who lets them play with his hair

Doe shirt always has hearts when he looks at You.

♡

[pomefioredove]

Saw the flirty prompts list and thought, what a cute idea!!

Of those prompts, maybe Ruggie and "Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back" please?? Thank you! <3

AW this one is so cute and so ruggie

summary: "can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back" type of post: short fic characters: ruggie additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, not proofread a part of this event

"You should really quit doing this stuff for free,"

"Hm?" you ask, turning to the boy beside you. "Why, you want me to start charging you for my help?"

Ruggie's face pales at the thought. "Nuh-uh, that's not what I meant. But other people are gonna start walking all over you if you keep giving handouts."

"Tsk. But not you, right?" You roll your eyes.

He grins. "Not me,"

You can't help a laugh, even with the weight of the grocery bags straining your shoulders and the hot sun overhead. It's a long walk back to the hall of mirrors from Sam's on days like this.

...You've always thought that you could probably get by without gym class as long as you keep hanging out with Ruggie.

"What's in these things, anyway? Bricks?"

Ruggie flashes another grin. "Meat. The cafeteria's doing that vegan week thing, and Leona's been fussy about it all month,"

"Now that makes sense,"

He snickers, holding the door open for you and you step inside the much cooler building.

"But anyway, as I was saying," Ruggie goes on, watching a group of students pass by. "You should know your worth. You can't keep being everyone's therapist and not even charge them a session fee."

You scoff. If your hands were free, you might have put one over your heart to show him just how offended you are. "I am no one's therapist, thank you,"

He gives you a look.

"Well... whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day, I guess, shishishi,"

The cool sanctuary of the school building is gone in a flash, and you're met by the overeager sun again.

"...You could at least bargain a little," Ruggie mumbles, shielding his eyes from the perpetual Savanclaw heat as you make your way inside the dorm. "A give and take system, you know?"

You reach the appropriate fridge, surprisingly emptied out for the occasion, and he begins shelving the meat.

"Why are you so interested in what I give and take, anyway?" you ask, handing him a plastic-wrapped steak.

"Eh... I just don't like seeing you taken advantage of. That's all,"

His tone is casual, though a little strained, as if he's forcing himself to sound uninterested in your personal life.

"Are you sure it's not just cause you'd get to keep all my manual labor to yourself?" you smile, sitting on the floor with him as he packs the fridge.

Ruggie chuckles. "Aw, come on, I'm not that bad. I can play fair, too, y'know,"

"Really? You'd bargain with me?"

"Fair's fair," he shrugs. "I take and I give. I'll even ask nicely. I'm like a saint or something."

You can't help another laugh. "Alright... I'll bite. What do you want?"

He's completely silent for a moment, tapping his chin to give off the illusion of thought. Then, in an all-too casual tone: "Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back,"

Another silence falls between the two of you, and for a moment, he almost looks nervous.

Then, you giggle. "Wow, so polite..."

Somehow, you find yourself closing the distance between the two of you, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to his lips.

Ruggie pauses. He seems awestruck, as frozen as the raw meat in the fridge as you lean back. Then, he grins.

"A worthwhile purchase, I'd say,"

[owlespresso]

blade + infantilization...maybe....perhaps....

ooh, this one is super interesting! I think Blade tends to infantilize through actions rather than verbally, so I tried to play with that here.

The cutting board is stained with dripping pink and crimson. It seeps from the tender, raw slabs you're in the process of painstakingly splitting open. Apron tied around your waist. Knife heavy in your hand. The heft of it is satisfying, and it moves through the meat like butter. The blood dyes the pale wood.

Footsteps cross the threshold of the kitchen. Loud on purpose. If he didn't want you to know he was coming, you wouldn't.

His presence is heavy at your back. Like a physical weight. Like his mara has crawled out of his skin and is raking its claws down your back. A hand closes around your wrist. Blade's palm roams upwards until he's dislodging your grip.

"Let me," he says, voice a low murmur against the top of your ear. So close, too close–

You drop the knife and scramble to a safer distance.

---

Kafka comes to visit. You know because Blade steers you toward one of the rooms in the back of the house, assuring you that they'll be done talking within an hour. You put up a fuss the whole way there until your rapidly dwindling tether snaps–temper flaring. Your arms cross in front of your chest as you whirl around, feet planted wide to block the hallway.

"I'm an adult, Blade," you snap at him. "And I know what you do for a living. I can handle whatever it is you'll be talking about."

"You do not need to handle it," Blade tells you, lips curling into a frown. He, at the very least, entertains your argument. He doesn't scoop you into his arms and drag you down thrashing. "The knowledge would only become a burden. It would upset you."

"Upset me!? If I were to count aloud the amount of times you've upset me, we would be here well into the next week!" you snarl. "You can't just treat me like a child–"

"If only you would act like an adult," he grumbles sourly, and ceases to humor you. He grabs you, hefts you into his arms with frustrating ease. The rage that's been boiling inside of you fizzles to the surface. You kick and scratch and in the end, only succeed in wearing yourself out.

---

The dawn stretches its silver tendrils through the canopy curtain of your bed. You stir, staring up at the ceiling. This time of the morning always feels the most surreal. Pale blue paints the walls, glows beyond the cage of your bed's curtains. You roll over and sit up. The sheets and pillows are arranged in a you-shaped puddle. The silks crinkle under your knees and hands as you make for the slim opening.

A strong arm wraps grabs your thigh, and pulls you back. A screech splits the air and Blade groans in displeasure at the noise. As if he wasn't its root cause.

"Blade! What is your problem!?" you hiss, wriggling around in a brave attempt to face him. He doesn't allow you. He pulls your back tight against his chest, lets you feel each bulging curve of muscle. This is one of the things that surprised you most. The clinginess.

"It's too early for you to be awake," he mumbles into your shoulder. He kisses over a more recent hickey, making you twitch. Your neck is a canvas of gaudy brushstrokes left behind by his sharpened teeth. "Sleep. The sun has barely risen."

"Yeah, all the more reason to get up! I have things to do today!" you insist. You toss an elbow back, aimed right for the ribs, but he grabs it with his other hand. Swordsman callouses curl around the muddle of your arm and squeeze, a momentary warning, before letting go. Your arm falls limply onto one of the pillows. You bring it to your face, relishing in the cool, silky smooth texture against your heated cheeks. Behind you, Blade makes a quiet sound of contentment.

[t3am-r0adk1ll]

hello! I was wondering if you could do a EJ with a male or gn s/o who cooks really well, and tries to cook kidneys in different ways for him?

Have a good day!

I didn't know what format you wanted this in so I improvised a bit heh :'3 hope you enjoy~!

ok so... i hope we all know human meat has to be cooked in a different way than regular meat...

yk for safe consumption and stuff... but guess what!! Jack eats that shit raw so dw about food safety!!

unless you're gonna eat it as well, then be careful

but overall just worry about seasoning it well, man!

So I think if you asked Jack if you could try and cook for him he'd be... at least skeptic at first

he likes the taste of kidneys raw, he's always eaten them that way, why change that?

but he can't say no to you, he'll let you experiment...

and obviously you will fail once or twice... and Jack will not tell you...

Jack takes a bite of the kidney stew you improvised for him while you stood by his side, eagerly waiting for his reaction. He takes a second to taste the food well, slowly chewing, not showing you much of a reaction. Or so you think... because he was doing his best not to cringe... some foods are just not meant to be prepared in certain ways... "so... how is it..?" you curiously asked your lover. He swallowed with somewhat evident difficulty before answering, giving you an empathic smile. "it's... interesting... but I'm afraid my apetite isn't very open right now, my dear... I'll finish this later. Thank you." He gets up from his seat with the plate in hand, kisses your forehead, and puts it away in the fridge. Later that day you don't see the food anymore, so you assumed he actually liked it and ate all of it. Maybe you should make it for him more often!!

please don't he threw it all away ALONG with the ingredients to make that stew

if you ask him to go get more of those he'll subtly tell you to try other recipies...

but that's ok!!! he loves you and your cooking!! he'll try literally everything you make, just try and explore with him to see what turns out the best!!

make them grilled, bbq, literally however you think it'll taste good and he'll try it! don't expect objective criticism though... he's too polite to actually tell you if it's good or bad... you'll have to take the little hints he gives you

I thought about this as soon as I saw the req... if you didn't like it or wanted something else let me know 😭 this is my first time doing asks I wanna get better :3

Have a great day!! <3

[morosexual]

cw: idk fucking everything. nsfw mdni, female reader, exhibitionism, group sex (sort of), mild sadism, cockwarming, humiliation, slapping (face & pussy), subspace. i don't know canon don't talk to me

team bonding with the team is the worst. oliver always feels pressure to host, so you just have to end up sitting on his lap, shorts tangled around your ankles, keeping his cock warm.

the team doesn't really mind, sometimes making lewd comments and laughing at you when you get really needy, but you don't mind. sometimes they prod at a sore spot—verbally—making you wetter, your boyfriend groaning as you drip down his cock.

sometimes oliver lets them get a little more hands-on, indulging their hungry eyes when they've won a game or gotten points for good behavior. he never lets them take their dicks out, though sendo's happy to jerk himself off with his hand down his pants, watching you with a heavy-lidded gaze. oliver says it's because they don't deserve to defile your perfect body. you, getting defiled by him on the regular, are pretty sure he gets a power trip out of edging them.

you feel excessively horny today, a function of watching your boyfriend and his team obliterate their opponent. watching oliver execute a defensive play perfectly always hits you like a shot of aphrodisiacs straight to the jugular.

what can you say? it takes someone who's a little bit of a soccer freak to get fucked by these soccer freaks.

you think about it, the shot oliver had managed to spin just past the outstretched hand of the goalie, the stretch of his shorts over his thighs as he fell to the field, a victorious shout reaching your ears in the stands. you don't even realize that you're grinding on him, trying to lift yourself up and down his cock, until he slaps you.

it's barely a slap, just a light tap to your jaw, but it startles you. he hisses when you twist back to look at him, eyes teary and blinking rapidly in confusion.

"baby, you gotta be quieter," he tells you, "sit still for me? you're gonna disrupt the movie."

nobody ever watches the fucking movies at these things, not when you're slutting yourself out because you can't go twenty seconds without oliver's dick. you could point this out, but then who knows what punishment he'd give you?

with oliver, you always want to be good.

"sorry," you say, kissing his cheek, and he grins a little even as he's grabbing your jaw and forcing your head back so he can kiss you longer, messier, even as you're bending unnaturally and whimpering, ah, ah, it hurts. you slump back into him when he lets you go, all of your muscles gone liquid under his touch.

sometimes he drifts his hands under your shirt, pushing up the fabric to knead at your tits, sometimes hooking one under one of your thighs to lift it up and hold you open so he has better access to your clit. this is embarrassing, unbearably so; if he rubs over you just right while you're trapped with all of you on display, you'll squirt, all over his lap and shoes and loveseat.

you're so far gone you don't realize your mistake until shidou is uncoiling himself from where he was hunched on the floor (he lost couch privileges the first time you'd invited him over), making his way over to the two of you. silly girl, you should know by now that saying that something hurts around shidou is like putting a bowl of raw meat in front of a hungry dog.

he doesn't ask for permission, but oliver gives it anyway.

"you listened well today," his tone is magnanimous. he's so generous. "isn't she pretty?"

shidou squats in front of you, examining where you’re spread open around oliver’s dick. you squirm a little, shy. you can hear the soft sound of it, your wetness making the movement loud. he laughs a little, petting over your clit, watching you as you bite your lip and try not to moan.

that won’t do.

he slaps your clit once, a sharp smack sounding through the room, and you jerk and squeal and squeeze, fire spreading over your face and down your chest.

“hey,” snaps the man underneath you, his voice aggravated. “you don’t get to touch her like that.” but shidou is already dancing away, laughing as you fail to steady your breath, clenching desperately around oliver for everyone to see.

"not fair," you say, mostly for oliver's ears, but knowing they can all hear you.

"see, look what you did," oliver grumbles, settling his hands on your hips. "she liked that. now i have to make her come about it."

[miasmaghoul]

whos the best ghoul cook? do you think they have any weird eating quirks (like water ghouls eating raw fish, mountain chewin on his terra cotta plant pots, fire ghouls needing to eat more bc of higher body temp, anything like that)?

Did I ever tell you guys that I earned a scholarship to culinary school? I couldn't go, but cooking and baking remain passions of mine that I do NOT get to talk about enough.

But now you've given me an excuse >:)

So here, a BUNCH of my cooking (and favorite food) headcanons for the ghouls and Papas alike!

(There's some murder ghoul content here, mostly in Alpha's section - couldn't help myself 😌)

Aeon isn't one for cooking. Loves eating food, certainly, but not making it. He's more of a snacker, partly because it's more convenient but mostly because he doesn't have the attention span to do much more than microwave instant noodles. He's not picky though, will eat whatever is put in front of him as long as someone else has prepared it. Also doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, more of a salty/savory guy. Favorite foods include hot cheetos, thick cut beef jerky (good to gnaw), and whatever appears on his plate at meal times.

Aether is a ghoul of simple tastes. He'll cook when he has the time, but it's going to be one of his four go-to recipes every time. Always some format of protein + starch + veg, with a complementary sauce. He meal preps every weekend after his retirement so he can have easy meals to microwave and eat in the infirmary. Isn't the biggest fan of cooking with company, unless they're willing to stay out of the kitchen and not interrupt his routine. Has a weak spot for bananas. Favorite meal is one-pan roasted chicken, potatoes and asparagus with rosemary and garlic from Mountain’s garden.

Alpha does not cook, wouldn't dream of it. He doesn't even deign to eat human food most of the time, turns his nose up at it when offered. He likes his meat raw, and wants to hunt it himself so he can feel the blood run down his chin. Any prey is fair game - if he finds you in the woods, you'd better hope you can outrun him. (You cannot.) Favorite foods include the flesh and organs of anything with a pulse.

Aurora likes the idea of cooking, but in practice...well, she tries. She's impatient, is the problem - what do you mean simmer for 20 minutes? She's hungry now! She inevitably rushes everything she makes, no matter how much input she gets from the others, and has yet to learn her lesson. She also has a MASSIVE sweet tooth, they can't keep enough sugary snacks in the pantry as far as she's concerned. Favorite foods include spaghetti with butter and cheese (one of the only things she can always get right), boxed brownies and any kind of fruity candy she can get her paws on.

Cirrus can cook pretty well, if she says so herself, but it's rare that she does it for anyone but herself. She has very particular tastes, and doesn't want to have to adapt them for others. She loves organ meat and bitter vegetables, enjoys the intensity of those flavors while the smell alone keeps most of the others away. Oh well, more for her! She'll eat anything thats made for her though, especially if its served on a silver platter by someone on their knees. Favorite foods (aside from the aforementioned organs) mostly include healthy things like fresh fruit and veggies, steamed shellfish and lean meat.

Cumulus is more of a baker than a cook, but enjoys any time spent in the kitchen either way. She's the type to make a day of it, in her comfiest clothes with music playing while she dances in front of the stove. Her food is never the prettiest, but it's made with love and tastes so much better for it. Her favorite things to bake are cookies and pies, but she doesn't eat many sweets herself. Prefers seeing the others enjoy them. Favorite foods include homemade bread (she has a sourdough starter named Breadly) with lots of butter and flaky salt, anything citrus-forward and wants her proteins heavily spiced (not spicy, she has a low tolerance, but loves the fragrant flavors of herbs and spices).

Dewdrop doesn't advertise it, but he's one of the best ghouls to have in the kitchen. His precision and attention to detail are second to none, and while it doesn't make him particularly fun to share a kitchen with it does make him an outstanding cook. He likes very intricate, involved recipes because he can use them to showcase his skills (and earn a whole bunch of praise at the dining table as a bonus). Loves spicy food, which everyone assumes is due to him now being a fire ghoul, but he's actually always enjoyed a good burn. Favorite foods include any meat served on the bone, fermented foods (kimchi and sour pickles especially) and anything smoked.

Ifrit does not know how the stove works. He survives on protein bars and any leftovers he can pilfer from the abbey kitchens. Food is not a thing he's super interested in, just takes what he needs to fuel himself, and would rather follow in Alpha's footsteps anyway. He likes to hang out at the lake every now and then with Mist, though - she'll pop up from the water every now and then with a nice plump trout to toss his way, which he will roast with his bare hands. Doesn't really have a favorite food, but does like crunchy things.

Mist, if she isn't sharing her spoils with Ifrit, will keep her catch for herself. She's small enough that one good-sized lake fish will tide her over for the day. She does prefer them raw and whole, always a bit on the feral side, but she can be convinced to join the others for sushi if the offer arises. Favorite foods include anything alive and not poisonous in the lake, and cookie dough ice cream (don't tell anyone).

Mountain is overall considered to be the best cook amongst the ghouls, and definitely has the goofy apron to prove it. Naturally skilled and adaptable, he enjoys preparing meals for his pack and will do so with anyone that wishes to lend a hand. Usually it's Cumulus or Sunshine, but they all keep him company at one point or another. He grows much of the produce used in their kitchen himself, all of it fresh and delicious, but Mountain does not eat a bite of it. He's a total carnivore - the closest he gets to eating his homegrown goodies is including them in a stew but avoiding them in his own bowl. Favorite foods include rabbit, venison and this one Vietnamese style grilled beef and rice noodle dish that Dew makes.

Omega learned to cook by osmosis, if you ask him. Time spent under three Papas will do thay to a ghoul. He doesn't cook much, but he's excellent at crafting simple, filling pasta dishes that are good for the soul (so to speak). Also treats it as an excuse to drink plenty of the good wine stashed away in the abbey's cellars - blame Terzo for that habit. Favorite meal is fresh pappardelle served with roasted tomatoes, basil and spicy sausage.

Rain doesn't cook if it involves more than the microwave, not because he can't but because he prefers to be waited on. Breakfast in bed, charcuterie plates in the afternoon, specially prepared dinners to make sure he's kept happy - none of it is necessary, but Rain can't help how much he loves being served. Good thing no one minds giving him the royal treatment. He will also indulge in the odd raw fish during a swim, but only does it beneath the surface, away from prying eyes. Favorite good is soup, any kind, but he prefers brothy ones over thick or creamy styles. If he had to pick a single favorite varitey, it would be miso.

Swiss is only allowed in the kitchen because he's good with a knife. He can burn through prep work like nobody's business, but that's where his skill set ends. He's caused one too many greasefires to he trusted at the stove, and every time he's put something in the oven he's forgotten about it until smoke filled the room and the ghoulettes had to magickally air it out. But he can chop like a food processor, so he gets the knife pass. He's another one that'll eat anything put in front of him, with one exception: eggs. Can't stand them. Favorite foods include red meat served rare, really dark, bitter chocolate and anything with hideous amounts of garlic.

Sunshine is chaos personified in the kitchen. She loves to experiment with flavors and techniques, but has yet to have anything close to a success. Pasta with pesto and pineapple (alliteration is fun), chocolate covered avocado balls (with bacon, because why not), a tuna sandwich made with coconut yogurt instead of mayo (it's healthy!) - these are but a few of the food crimes that have lost her solo access to the kitchens. This girl could burn cereal, and no one wants to see that. She does love to eat though, and will frequently hang out when someone else is cooking so she can sneak bites whatever they're making. Favorite foods include cheese (all kinds), sour candy and all the orchard fresh peaches she can get her hands on.

And for the Papas:

Primo had to learn his way around the kitchen from an early age, thanks to the responsibility of raising his younger brothers falling onto his shoulders. He learned by watching the kitchen staff - a pair of elderly Sisters with so much skill in their gnarled hands that Primo couldn't look away. He never got very good at it, mostly sticking to a handful of reliable dishes that could be made cheap and easily for the three of them. His favorite of the bunch was also the one thing he was best at making - a simple mushroom risotto.

Secondo took to the kitchen like it was second nature, once Primo could trust him to not chop a finger off. Would spend hours poring over cookbooks and learning by doing, eating his own failures so his brothers wouldn't have to. He really enjoyed making simple but hearty comfort foods, lots of rib-sticking braises and stews filled with herbs and veggies from Primo's modest garden. He even cooked the last meal they ever shared together, on that fateful Uno night. It was his favorite, a lasagna constructed from fresh sheets of pasta, homemade ricotta, spinach and a simple tomato sauce, served with roasted garlic focaccia.

Terzo did not get the cooking gene, aside from being able to boil water for his tea. It wasn't a big deal since his brothers picked up the slack, and he decided there were other things that took priority - like music, history and how to retain a full head of hair after age 30. He preferred drinking over eating anyway, mostly saw food as something to put in his stomach to cushion the wine. He was a man of simple tastes, and his favorite thing was a humble sandwich of mortadella, provolone and spicy pickled peppers.

Copia never had to learn to cook, raised by the Clergy and doted on thanks to a not-so-subtle suggestion from Sister Imperator. More than a little spoiled in that sense, he would also go on to be the most worldly Papa in terms of his tastes. So much time spent traveling the world helped to expand his palate, and he got into the habit of sending pictures and descriptions of his favorites back to the abbey so the kitchen staff could figure out how to replicate them. It's impossible for him to pick a favorite, but thanks to so much time spent in LA he does have a real soft spot for Mexican food. Tacos al pastor in particular, but without the cilantro (he has the soap gene).

[knightofgoetia]

It’s very interesting and indicative that when fans of the DMC gameverse criticize the netflix show, they’ll go on multi-paragraph posts on why they loved the original franchise and why the netflix show is a cheap insult to it.

But the all the netflix defenders got is: “The characters are hot and the fight scenes are cool! Stop being such a hater sheesh 😒” I feel bad for the furries that got into the netflix show because of the rabbit tbh.

This is an issue that has been going on not just for DMC, but for many other pieces of media. How many times have we heard that argument? "Don't be a hater, if you don't like it just don't watch", this isn't how things work. Yes, I agree there's no reason to jump at people who have enjoyed something and tell them that they're stupid for doing it — but it's thanks to criticism that nowadays the world isn't the exact same way it was before.

Long post below.

"If you don't like it don't watch, you're being a hater" is nothing but the equivalent in media for "do not fight for your rights, do not question what you're given nor put into", an argument fascists and dictators use. Do these people think that we would be where we are now if people hadn't voiced their complains? Being a comformist has its consequences, and those consequences are being shown.

Sure, this is just a netflix series, not the removal of basic human rights, but that doesn't make it any less concerning: accepting any product that is given to you regardless of how good or bad is, is nothing more than a branch of that bigger problem. "It's better than having nothing" so you would rather eat raw meat that could damage you rather than starve? I'm sorry, but I would not. I'm just the average person on planet Earth and I deserve to be treated with the same respect as the guy who has too much money on his hands. You can't be a comformist and go "at least we've got crumbs!", no, you're not supposed to get crumbs, you're supposed to be given the piece of bread on the table like everyone else.

Now, with that said since this ask is about DMC, let's go back to that:

Devil May Cry isn't a perfect saga. It had its ups and downs. But, and we have to make this clear, it's thanks to the people who voiced their complains about those downs that we were given proper content as costumers. Sure, Itsuno may have been annoyed himself and wanted a proper game to follow Kamiya's own, but do you really think the company would have given him the necessary time and resources for DMC3 to happen if people hadn't voiced their displeasure with DMC2? No, they're a company, not an indie developer nothing speaks more to them than money. If people had accepted DMC2 anyways because "it was better than having no sequel" they wouldn't have given the necessary things to make DMC3 happen, because they would have seen that unfinished games and lack of attention and consideration would give them benefits anyways.

Why are people right now voicing their annoyance with (mainly Nintendo's) current game prices? Because if we don't, then the only ones allowed to play them will be the 4 ones around there that can afford them. And that's because, regardless of what the majority says, if there's people willing to pay for such an insulting price, they won't bother to listen. "I'm gonna buy it anyways because I'm a fanboy" what you're being is incredibly comformist. "It is what it is" has done a lot of damage to people's mentality. Don't get me wrong, companies know about this, so the moment people doubt about those prices, they will add 'limited edition' to them, so everyone panics, thinking they're gonna miss on this precious product if they don't buy it now, regardless of the price.

We humans don't act by instict nowadays, and that's why we're so easy to manipulate. "You're gonna miss on this" or "your favorite piece of media will have nothing else if you don't accept this" or "you're being ungrateful, at least you got something".

I don't want 'something', I don't want 'the bare minimum', I want to be given the same worth I am giving those people for such a product. You want 90€ for a game? Sure, as long as it is worth them. Because, no, the 10th MarioKart is not worth that money.

There's a reason why handmade products cost more than the ones from a factory. They take more time, more effort, more research, more care... And more passion.

Netflix is a company. They don't care if you liked their content or not, as long as you pay — that's why series such as Devil May Cry have been splitted into two. Because, no, those 8 episodes were not season 1. It's just been a week, this has been planned since the start, it's not the haters' fault that the next season was announced. Season 2 is also season 1, they simply divived them so they would get people to watch the first half with hype, regardless of how less people watch the second half due to the awful job of the showrunner and writers. They are businessmen before anything else, they knew everyone, haters or defenders, would be watching at day 1 due to the amount of hype (and lies) built around the series. They don't care if you're gonna watch season 2 or not — you already gave them their money; they already have a bunch of people defending the series SIMPLY to be against those who did not like it; they already have a lot of people who simply want to entertain themselves and not engage with said piece of media... Why should they care about it being something done with the minimum effort?

"It's not a canon universe" that's not the point, not at all — but what am I supposed to expect from people who defend a series that is representing a certain group of people as demons, huh? The REAL issue is HOW these characters have been changed:

"It's an AU" why, though? Why would you want to make them swap roles? This isn't a Dante and Vergil situation in which people come up with interesting concepts regarding their trauma and experiences, their own personalities and behavior — no, this isn't that. This is Shankar seeing Sparda, a character that was written as someone who gave up on his own power to join humanity; and Mundus, a character who would kill anyone who interacted with Sparda simply because he sided with the weak. Is it fiction? Yes. Does it affect reality? Well... Isn't this showrunner a Trump supporter? I wonder why, huh.

This guy saw Lady, a girl who and killed her own father for the sake of everyone else. A girl who lived with guilt the rest of her life because she has killed her father. A girl who put others above herself in commiting an act such as murder, patricide, with her bare hands. a girl still compassionate enough to cry such a horrible man's death.

And what has Shankar turned her into? A genocidal, racist cop. Shankar saw a girl who cried for a man who deserved nothing but to disappear — and he thought she was better as a sociopathic soldier.

Vergil, a boy who despite believing all his life due to his traumatic experiences that humans were miserable weak creatures, he never hated them. Despite being blinded by trauma for decades — he never hated humanity.

What did Shankar see in him? A man who would side with the responsible of his family's death and disappearance.

"It's an AU" or "the game's stories were never good anyways" or "you people are just haters".

Haters... So you are against people voicing their opinion? "No, I just don't want you throwing it at me." No one's throwing anything at you, not real critics, at least, they're posting it in their OWN accounts. "But I still see it." What are the silence and block buttons for? "But you just don't want us having fun." We just don't want you to defend a product made my an egocentric Trump supporter. What? Being a hater of Christianity now makes you automatically a defender of the poor? I never knew you guys were this naive... Or dumb.

Whenever it's a blue checkmark on Twitter... Yes, I do wonder how much you were paid to defend this shitshow. But whenever it isn't — why? Why are you waisting your energy? Sure, go ahead and enjoy the show. Let people speak their minds, just ignore them if you're such a boring person to have no taste and consume any piece of media that is shoven into your throat simply because "the animation is cool." It's... It's an animated series, isn't that the bare minimum?

"I don't condone the showrunner's behavior, I only like the series." Do you not see how this was written? Is your brain really that rotten? Have you spent that much time on TikTok with brainrot one-minute videos, that you've forgotten how it feels to be able to think by yourself? You can't despise the showrunner's behavior and support his product, do you think he's gonna care about your ideology, as long as you consume the product of his narcissism and egocentrism?

I know many examples of people with too much money on their hands to pay for others to speak well of them, be it articles, or news, or companies, or individuals... (if anyone's intrigued, or doesn't believe me, DM me, i don't mind giving another example). We live in a capitalist society, for the love of god, NO review from 'professionals' is genuine. Do you really believe in Rotten Tomatoes? The page that had a 82% on Blonde when it first aired, and after time and discussions passed, now it has a 50%?

7.70 out of 10, and you give it a 96%? Then, 3.3 out of 5, and you give it a 61%? That 3.3 out of 5 comes from people not being able to rate something properly with numbers, it's a mix of 0/5 reviews and 5/5 reviews, it's not a fair number. The single negative critique of te 'critics' talks about how the series isn't really a homage to the original games has most likely not been read. Neither the rest — but who cares, most are positive, right? That's our nowadays issue. "I'm not reading all that" or "yapping" in our culture has done a lot of damage to critical thinking, and people acting as individuals.

If you understand Spanish well, I recommend this video in particular about reviews, and how all of them are fake, be them paid or not. Please, it's not a waste of time at all.

... About that last part, I do not feel that bad for the ones who got into it because of the rabbit. It's again, the same thing: so, regardless of how bad a series was, you find the fucking furry hot, so you don't care and praise the product anyways. You find a single thing of it good, and that already makes it the Holy Grail for you.

I don't think we have a solution for this. Not anymore, with how putrid our brains are nowadays. After all, it's easier to attack the people who demand a quality product, than the rich guy behind said product, isn't it?

[silverstream2]

Headcanon that Sparda, Modeus, Baul, and Trish all love human food, because food in the Underworld (usually other demons, but there's some vegetation, too) tastes HORRIBLE.

All of them but Trish will eat just about anything put in front of them, and eat it quickly, largely without complaining, because that's how you had to eat in the Underworld, because usually whatever you were eating was in danger of biting you back or being stolen by somebody else. That said, they do have food they prefer over others. Strawberries, for example, across the board.

We know Modeus likes a good strawberry sundae, and is "picky" enough about it that he'll tell the cook if he thinks they could do a better job. Modeus also knows a lot of mutton and chicken dishes, since he used to keep chickens and tend a flock of sheep. He likes a good cheese, too, especially goat cheese.

I headcanon Baul is a sucker for good garlic bread. Or Texas toast, or toast with pork dripping on- bread and grease, basically, but Tasty. Garlic bread is a favorite of his. He also likes a good meat dish. Mostly beef, but sometimes he'll crave nothing but seafood for a week or two. Even squid- he likes how chewy it is. Which is good, because Modeus doesn't. He'll still eat it, if you put it in front of him, but he'll either try to dice it so small and mix it with something else that he can't feel the texture, or he'll just try to swallow the thing whole, for the same reason. Baul likes sailing, Modeus prefers a nice walk in the woods. They both like hiking in mountains, tho Modeus has more experience with that than Baul.

I headcanon Sparda likes a good cup of tea, and is particular about how its made. He'll add butter and jam, too. He probably likes (U.S.) sweet tea, too. Not sure if he'd add soda and lemon juice/lemonade to his sweet tea, but maybe.

Nevan, like Trish, is picky about her food- but that's mostly because she prefers blood, or raw meat. She likes mushrooms, too, having grown up with some edible fungi in her home territory in the Underworld. She loves a good cave system, especially if there's glowing rocks and/or glowing mushrooms. Or glowing worms, even.

Also, all of them can cook. Well, except Nevan, she's crap at it, and hates doing it. Trish can probably cook... SOME THINGS, but nothing special, and she doesn't really like doing it.

Sparda and Modeus are probably the best cooks, and enjoy doing it the most. Modeus beats Sparda at that last one, but only just. It's how they show they care about their friends and family and community.

Baul CAN cook... just not all that much. He's not all that good at it, and he doesn't like doing it. He'll WANT to do it, because he likes taking care of His People, but he just doesn't have the patience for all the damn measuring and prep work you have to do. He's better if you give him a recipe to follow. He can make simple dishes from memory, usually, but anything more complicated will take a recipe, for him. For Sparda, too, probably, tho he's a bit better at remembering.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

(Dont know if I should put this here, but I figured I might as well. Spoilers for The Owl House ahead! Beware!!)

I dunno why, but I had a thought... I was watching The Owl House recently and I saw one of the last eps of Season 1 where Eda goes into her cursed owl form and loses her magic. The whole scene where her eyes slowly go black and its all creepy and angsty and stuff?

Anyway, here's my thought: Ren was originally a plain old human. But then when he was young, he was cursed by someone/something (probably cuz he got into a sticky situation and did something stupid), and he is doomed to slowly lose himself and his humanity until he is permanently transformed into a massive wolf-like beast, one that is violent and powerful. He has to keep his human form by regularly taking a special potion, and if he doesnt have it he'll transform into the beast.

However, during the past couple seasons or so, his curse has been worsening. His human ears have been replaced with a wolves, his teeth and nails have sharpened, his cravings for fresh (especially raw) meat have gone through the roof. But most importantly, the amount of potions he needs to keep his cursed form at bay is increasing, and they're starting to be less and less effective.

But he can't let the Hermits know. He can't bear to tell them that he doesn't know how much time he has left. He loves them so much, too much to ever do that.

He just hopes that nobody has to see him as the beast...

This is the oldest ask in the inbox, from June 2021.

Poor Ren... i wonder if anyone notices, before it's too late. With every hermit there's sure to be someone who can help, even if just a little.... there are strong magics out there. It'll never go away completely, curses like that rarely do, but learning to coexist with the beast could be possible.

-Mod Mleem

[crystal-cloudzz]

sbg headcanons (part 1/2)

ashlyn 🎧💚

-shes only cut her hair once, she hated it

-shes used to want to do a sport, but in one class, she got introduced to ballet and fell in love with it

-i don't know why but I have a strong feeling she'd love apple, grape and raspberry flavoured stuff

-every time when she was younger and saw a dog she begged the owner for it (they said no)

-she already has lots of freckles. She gets even more in sunlight

-shes a beach and mountain girl

Aiden 🔪💛

-has depression but got very good at hiding it

-used to sh

-has insomnia

-sprayed chemicals into eyes once by accident

-hes an avid great wall of china Eiffel tower burg khalifa skyscraper tree climber, he climbs to the peak then jumps off

-his parents keep forgetting his birthday, and his dad even keeps forgetting his name (he calls him aaron)

-once had a really good friend then moved

-hes the type to suggest to Netflix and chill then put on how to train your dragon 3 and pass you 7 tubs of chocolate ice cream then says "eat up :D" with a creepy grin

-has a fear of being left alone

-used to be sucidal

-hes a smileycore bitch, like with the drugs aspect and everything

-"oh it doesn't hurt, I'm fine" *arm literally snapped in half, twisted 360 degrees behind his back

-cant cook for shit. Not even 5 minute noodles are safe

-very self destructive

-hin dying his hair is a coping mechanism

-has a bad relationship with his parents (mainly his dad)

-his latest b-day party was when he was 5

-attention deprived

-touch starved

-once add raw meat to get attention (it worked, he never did it again afterwards)

Ben 🎤🤎

-trans male

-sofia the first (that's it. That's all I'm saying)

-has a way with animals, it's like he's telepathic with them

-no but he's actually Sofia the first I have so much proof for it I have an entire au for it

-cant cook either, can only bake

-makes the best cakes and you can't convince me otherwise

-hes the reason Aiden bounces off walls all the time

-always one of the last to be found at hide and seek (except when Lily's playing. Then he goes easy on her)

Oh btw Aiden and Tyler are my favourites if you couldn't tell by the abundance of Aiden hcs

[shmowder]

This is such a random thought, but I've been wondering what some of the characters would eat on a daily basis

I love you artemy but he gives me the vibe of someone that makes a big batch of something and then eats it for a week straight with no complaints (im sorry Mr burakh I don't want to eat porridge every morning and stew every evening)

Daniil seems like the opposite, he makes an overly elaborate breakfast like jam spreads and eggs (you can't tell me this guy didn't down like three cups of coffee every morning during his stay at the town and head out the door though)

Mark immortell does not eat he feeds on my tears of pain whenever i die in this game i hate this guy 🤬

Artemy needed to make food stretch out while travelling throughout the country + the army tends to serve a cycling menu, so those two habits might take months or years for him to break out of.

Maybe if Sticky and Murky complain enough about his cooking and having to reheat the same pot of stew for supper each day, Artemy would get the needed push to actually put thought and variety into what he makes, instead of the run-of-the-mill easy, filling, and nutritious goopy liquid of the day.

If this was the modern world, Artemy would be the guy whose fridge's filled with nutrition bars, absurd amounts of raw meat, and frozen soup divided into plastic containers.

Isidor must have been a better cook and actually fed Artemy more than the same 3 dishes in different fonts. Stakh might have picked up the recipes and cooking skills, but he just... never uses them.

Until on day while babysitting Sticky and Murky, he makes the mistake of preparing what he thought was a simple dish, only to watch these two kids almost burst into tears at the first taste of actual spices and fresh non-stewed vegetables in so long.

Que Artemy pleading with Stakh to share those recipes the next day after sampling the leftovers his kids brought home, because damn, this tastes exactly like his dad's cooking. When did Stakh become so handy in the kitchen? Artemy remembers him not even knowing how to boil eggs when they were kids.

Dankovsky, on the other hand, had a steady life and began his independence in college. Now, from the bits of lore drops during his p1 route, they paint a picture of a very... chaotic gremlin university Daniil. Like that one time, he mentions breaking the law and stealing tissue from a dead body while he was a student, or the fact not only did he attend the same bars as Andrey, but always carried a loaded pistol on him, even when he knew he was going to end up batshit drunk.

His diet during those days probably consistent of:

But that was the young and callow Danil. The man standing in front of us today is a few months short off entering his 30s. Yet on the other hand... old habits die hard.

So we have two options when it comes to theorising on this shortie's daily munches.

Option One: Danil is negligent with food

He worked at Thanatica deep hours into the night. He had press conferences, presentations, shareholders meetings, and social events to attend.

If someone is so willing to sacrifice sleep when it comes to his busy schedule, it's not far-fetched for food to be next.

When he does get the opportunity to eat, it's never homecooked. Hell, l'm willing to bet my arm on the fact he hasn't tasted a genuine homecooked meal in years.

Business dinners at fancy restaurants are more his style, an open buffet with eccentric dishes at conferences, the stale office coffee which he ignores until it's cold and then sourly downs it in one go. Whatever his co-worker at Thanatica decided to buy for the team lunch break today while doing a coffee run.

Does he know how to cook? Maybe. Daniil cares about how he presents himself, much like he memorised Latin phrases to show off, teaching himself after moving to his first apartment must have been deemed vital for his whole "I'm a grown capable adult now" aesthetic.

It's been a while; he's rusty, and all the recipes he knows came from a french cooking book that focuses more on presentation rather than taste or nutritions. He might not be able to make you any chicken soup while you're down with a fever, but you can be reassured that an Eggs en Meurette will come to the rescue... or so he claims.

-

Option Two: Daniil is obnoxiously punctual with having three meals a day

Okay, he was irresponsible with food before, so what? The past is the past. Not to mention, as a doctor specialising in death and its prevention, it's an oxymoron for him to neglect his own health.

He needs energy, a ton of it. So he makes sure to get the whole 8 hours of necessary sleep a day and eat 3 fullfilling meals on the dot. He's not that reckless 20-something boy anymore throwing his life away. He has a purpose, and he will make sure to live long to achieve it.

I'm not saying he fantasises about dedicating a whole chapter to these healthy habits in the autobiography—which he'll eventually write after earning all the deserved fame that comes from besting death—And l'm definitely not saying that he'll be the most smug about it as he describes how he never skips a meal, never stays up past bedtime, and rarely has more than one glass of wine per week. How a lot of his current healthy and responsible acts do root from wanting to feel a certain level of superiority over your average chum.

But it is—kind of—what I'm saying

The town was the exception, not the rule, on a normal Dankovsky day, he starts it with breakfast. Fruits are optimal, some toast to get his carbs in, tea with milk for the calcium, and of course he can't forget the water.

Can he cook? hmm, I'd say yes. This Danil is a decent cook. His personal pallet is still a bit fancy shmancy, but he's got the basics pinned down. He even still goes out of his way to practice a new recipe or two during the weekends. Constant variety is key.

-

Now, surprisingly, these two options can not only co-exist, but also be frankensteined into the same timeline. A Daniil that starts with neglect from his youth, then becomes a responsible adult, only to fall back into these bad habits when the stress of work and funding Thanatica becomes too much.

So he tries his best to have the necessary meals, but sometimes time slips between his fingers like fine sand while toiling away in the labs, and his only options are an empty stomach or two cups of coffee and crackers from the vending machine.

On a related note, I don't think Eva can cook, nor does she want to. Mostly surviving on fruits, wine... so much wine, plus the occasional sweets.

And clearly, Peter doesn't cook either.

Which means Andrey had to learn cooking at some point to feed his twin before they became the famous rich architects they are. Even now, he's still the one arranging and paying for the food deliveries to Peter's house, It goes with his whole renaissance-man shtick, but he wouldn't cook for just anyone. Even if you happen to be a guest at his house (whatever the fuck that means since the man spends 24/7 in his own pub rather than actually go back to wherever his home is) He'd still expect you to bring your own food or be satisfied with alcohol. Now, his eating habits? 100% like Eva, if not worse.

Peter is the closest thing a human has ever come to surviving soley off of alcohol. Lucky for him, twyrine actually has good nutritions in it, courtesy of the plucked herbs.

I'm pretty sure Mark Immortell likes to eat crying infants, the blood of goats, widows' tears, and these fists because oNE OF THOSE DEATHS IN MY P2 RUN WAS UNJUST AND UNFAIR MARK! I haven't fucking forgotten, MARK! you dropped a robber ON ME, MARK. You spawned him ATOP MY HEAD, MARK! I WAS PICKING HERBS IN PEACE MARK. I WAS AT FULL HEALTH HOW WAS IT POSSIBLE FOR HIS THICK ASS TO INSTA KILL ME, MARK!?

[ladylooch]

does lucie have a similar experience to liv and the domestic violence situation?

maybe someone at school told her that her daddy hits her mom

and then lucie was worried for the rest of the day about if nico does that

and when she got home she was acting weird with nico and wouldn’t really hug him or anything

and then at dinner maybe nico raised his hand at lexi to grab her face for a kiss or something

and lucie starts yelling and screaming at nico

Nonnie, holy shit, this is dark 🥺

Maybe it's a video in school? Like in health class? ( did you all have those lmao) and they showcase different types of abuse and what the signs are. Lucie doesn't see any of those signs in her family, however, she gets very anxious about even the prospect of anything happening between her parents. So when she comes home and sees her parents in the kitchen, she is very observant.

Lexi and Nico are cuddled up at the kitchen island as they work on dinner together. They've been handsy with each other all day, not bothering to hide it in front of their children now. Who cares if their kids know how in love they still are with each other?

Lexi is being chased around by Nico, jokingly asking him to stop, but Nico keeps trying to grab her with his raw meat hands.

"Dad, STOP." Lucie says from across the island. Her little palms press hard into the cool stone of the counter. Nico and Lexi were laughing, then stop when they see the seriousness on their daughter's face. Mack and Sophie are curiously looking on from the kitchen table. "Mom said stop, so you stop."

"Oh.. babe, we were just-" Lexi begins, wrapping an arm around Nico's waist to show she is okay.

"No, Lex, she's right." Nico nods. They share a look. "Kidding or not, if you say stop, I should stop. I'm sorry." He goes over to the sink and washes his hands. Lucie's heart is pounding in her chest as she sits back down on the barstool.

"I'm sorry, honey. Daddy and I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Lexi murmurs, coming in front of Lucie. She leans her forearms on the counter, looking at her disgruntled daughter.

"It's not funny when people don't listen."

"Yep. We need to be respectful of people's bodies, boundaries, and words." Nico nods in agreement with his wife, coming around the island to give Lucie a hug. She snuggles into his chest. Nico smoothes her brown hair down, looking at his wife with a cringe. He never wants his girls to think someone continuing on after saying stop is okay.

"I'm sorry, mama." Lexi tilts her head to the side, falling in love with her husband all over again watching him model this behavior for their girls.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Will you come back and help me without your meaty hands?"

"Yes." He squeezes Lucie tight again, then looks into her confused face. "We good, Lu?"

"Yeah." She sighs, pulling away to go back to her homework.

The Hischiers work quietly, music playing from the Google Home, for the next little bit. Eventually Sophie and Mack head off to play, already done with their school work. This leaves Lucie, Nico, and Lexi alone in the kitchen. After the sounds of her sisters leave the room, Lucie puts her pencil down.

"Why do people hurt people?" They both stand still.

"What do you mean, babe?" Lexi asks.

"Like... when you love someone and you're in a relationship, why would you hit them? We watched a movie in school and these people were in love but arguing and the man hit her. But she didn't tell anyone."

"Well, people shouldn't. That's not love." Lexi says. "That is called domestic violence and it's never okay. It can happen in all different types of relationships, even between kids and their parents." Lucie cringes. "Baby, we would never hit you. I hope you're not worried about that?"

"I know, but why! Why do people do that?" Lucie starts to become emotional. Nico can't stomach the look on her face. He comes back over to her, catching her upset little body into his arms.

"There are a lot of reasons this happens, baby. And none of them are okay. That's what you need to know right now. It's never okay to hit anyone you love." Nico pauses, lips on her head, wondering what she needs to hear the most right now. "You're safe, Luc. We all are in this house, okay?" Lucie nods, exhaling heavily. Lexi comes around to them. Nico opens her arms to get her into their hug. Lucie clings to both her parents.

"We love you, sweet girl." Lexi murmurs to her daughter. Her and Nico look at each other, smiling tenderly, grateful for the soft and safe life they are able to give to their girls.

[tk-duveraun]

17/? Luo Binghe is SO NORMAL about Shen Yuan

7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 (here), 18

Read up through even numbered parts on Ao3

"Have you reported back to him?" Luo Binghe asked several days and a severed left arm later.

"Even this Venerable One has limits," Meng Mo replied.

Luo Binghe ate a piece Plucked Flaming-mingo meat raw as he mulled over that answer. He was finally used to neutralizing parasites and toxins in the things he ate, so no matter how unplesant it was, he at least wouldn't starve in the Abyss. Even though it looked like he had a left arm, the limb was completely useless, so he kept it strapped to his torso when not sleeping.

Without any knowledge of germ theory, Luo Baixiao must have struggled miserably in the original. Luo Binghe was trying not to think about it too hard. He was one more System revelation away from adopting the kid and he was already dead.

His primary concern was and would always be Shen Yuan. His words at the edge of the Abyss hadn't fully sunk in at the time, but now that he'd had several sleepless nights Luo Binghe couldn't stop turning them over in his head.

"Free us," he'd said. Us.

"Old Man, if you're really on my side tell me: what leverage does Linguang-jun have over Shen Yuan?"

"And here this Venerable One thought you'd never ask."

Luo Binghe snarled. It really had a nice feeling with the enlarged canines in his mouth. "Shen Yuan has some clever ideas on how to oust you permanently. Don't think I'll put up with this forever."

"Cheeky."

Luo Binghe would have called the threat a little more serious than cheeky, but he did want answers, so he said nothing.

"The Mobei clan is the only demonic family to never lose a technique once they create it. This gives them more room to experiment than, say, the Yangma clan."

Luo Binghe swallowed his last handful of 'mingo meat and stood. Meng Mo liked to wax poetic and show off his 'vast knowledge.' If his chosen form wasn't that of an old man, he definitely would have been one of Shen Yuan's most successful suitors. Unfortunately for the dream demon, Luo Binghe didn't care about any lessons not taught by his wife.

He was half way up a hill of black grass when the old demon got to the point.

"So in an attempt to copy the utility and terror of Heavenly Demon blood parasites, the Mobei clan bred a species of demonic ant, ant mind you, that was hatched only in a bath of ice demon blood. The ants, too small to be individually seen by mortal eyes, would then act as a surrogate threat."

"So Shen Yuan is infested by these demonic ants?"

Meng Mo audibly sniffed at being interrupted, but didn't complain. Likely because he'd already lectured for almost two hours about the Mobei clan's techniques. "They are called Frost-bound Mites, colloquially Ice Mites."

At the top of the hill, a massive creature attacked Luo Binghe. It was a cross between a hyena and a crab. It was slow enough that Luo Binghe decided to throw Meng Mo a bone. "Frost Mites, even though they're ants."

"Precisely! Children these days can't even name things properly. When I was friends with Mobei-jun, his clan would have been ashamed of such weak scholarship."

Luo Binghe tuned him out and focused on fighting. The exoskelleton was tough and resisted both his claws and fangs. His next strategy was a blast of demonic qi launched from his claws like a discount sword glare. Still no damage: that was promising; Luo Binghe had been looking for a sturdy-enough material to make a weapon from.

He tore his bottom lip with his fangs and manipulated both his qi and blood parasites to form a gruesome blade of blood. The creature fell easily to pointed strikes at its joints. At his tax bracket, Luo Binghe hadn't eaten a lot of crab, but he'd certainly cooked a lot of it. Actually, his butchering class was paying a lot of dividens in the Abyss.

Luo Binghe dragged the corpse down the hill and into a copse of trees with extremely phallic tentacles for leaves and aphrodisiac pollen. Thankfully both the pollen and the tentacles were repelled by a relatively weak demonic aura, while the trees remained a deterrant to most other things in the area.

The flesh, once Luo Binghe cracked open the creature, was a strangely slimey consistency and tasted like durian. Still full from the 'mingos, he was happy to toss it away.

That was when Meng Mo again got to the point. "Though this Venerable One was not in contact with Linguang-jun at the time, Shen Yuan came under Linguang-jun's influence and was infested with the Frost-blood Mites. Linguang-jun was likely using them to puppet your obsession when he attacked you at the conference."

That would explain a lot, actually. Luo Binghe erected enough of a mental barrier to keep his thoughts private, but not so thick as to prevent him from hearing if Meng Mo said anything else useful.

The Ice Mites would negate the various porn pa-pa-pollens, as fandom called them. Plus, Linguang-jun was probably trying to be discreet, hence Shen Yuan never going on missions alone. And it would explain the complex array under the Bamboo House. Linguang-jun probably had no idea how Shen Yuan was suppressing the Ice Mites and sent Luo Binghe to figure it out and or replace him as a spy.

The only problem with this new information is that it opened a world of new questions. Why did Luo Baixiao turn into an antagonist? Shen Yuan had clearly tried to help him despite the horrific seduction attempt. Sure, he hadn't managed by the time of Immortal Alliance Conference, but Shen Yuan probably still instructed him to enter the Abyss and find Xin Mo, so why?

Unfortunately, the System coudn't give Luo Binghe visions of things that happened to Luo Baixiao after he transmigrated. He would just have to hope there wasn't yet another plot twist waiting for him on the other end of the Abyss.

[iobartach]

okay! this has been a LONG time coming, so brace yourselves for this... we're gonna talk about that injection scene from ats.v so comic purists especially please don't hunt down my ass for what i'm about to put out into the universe 😂

....so ..... let's talk about ... atsv's injection scene ;

what was intended by it? fuck knows, waiting for sony to send answers on a postcard. buuuut, for my take, let me be clear on the interpretations / meanings that i'm not gonna perpetuate ;

it's not rapture. i'm drawing a HARD STOP under that thought. noooo thankkk you.

it's not the source of his spider powers. we're staying true to our Cronenberg-inspired metamorphosis horrific-ness here 😎 even if more... recent reinventions of miguel shown in the comics would tell you he willingly opted to make himself half-spider, i ain't subscribing to it. (miguel's perspective on his transformation probs deserves its own hc post eventually! stay tuned!

so... if not this... what then? well...

i'm gonna posit that the injection(s) are a way for miguel to manage his 'condition'

for that, lemme do a little recap / reminder;

following his accident, miguel has experienced a multitude of changes. one of the most prominent changes is that he's become an obligate carnivore / hypercarnivore if you will. which means, meat is his new bff - he'll crave the calories, he'll eat it cooked or even raw, especially if it placates his tendency to gnaw when starving. and when he does eat, he tears and swallows chunks - not really a chewer any longer.

whiiiich introduces a new issue; anything plant based? loses its appeal to him. it's a slow progression, too. he'd start with reducing portions. taking a bite or two. leaving the rest. until there's next to no greenery left on the plate, when he knows he needs the nutrients they provide.

and ooh, it's actually gets a level worse than that : )

not only does he stop eating vegetables, fruits, *maybe* fungai? idk? but wellll his own mutated body might even stop producing the important stuff like vitamin c, and things of that ilk ! so ... what's a hybrid to do? how's he gonna make up the difference and get the nutrients he needs? ( especially when you consider... whilst he doesn't eat often, due to a combination of altered metabolism and slowed digestion rate, he could eat and consume calories in the magnitude that could make a damn saiyan blush --)

but, even so, it won't make up for the deficiencies 😔 so what's a spooky spider lad to do?

Come up with a solution, duh!

Yesss, baby, we're talking supplementation! operating in a similar manner to a diabetic needing insulin, or someone with B12 deficiency, for the all important food stuffs that miguel has perhaps tried, and tried again to consume, he's gonna turn to science for a lending hand, load up on what's either missing from his diet now, or that which his body simply can't absorb any longer

And, in addition to this, these shots are important in another sense 👀

they help miguel to manage his spider tendencies

since the way i've approached this with my earlier hcs is, well, tl;dr my mig's human / spider dna isn't a 50/50 split, it's gradually veering more towards spider as the years pass

this means that, it's a bit of a perfect storm brewing; lack of nutrients + behaviours & tendencies that he is likely chronicling by the day is ... a recipe for trouble! i can bet that miguel by himself can ... manage / hold himself together ... to a point, but, to paraphrase a friendo; have you ever met a hangry person? there's a limit to everything!

and we've seen miguel breach that limit already, during the miles chase in atsv. if ya had a bingo card for just about the worst everything happening in a single day? that card probably got filled UP during that chase! 😔 perhaps stress also played as factor there was well - the dude's carrying a LOT on his shoulders!

anyyyway! back on topic! let's expand the supplementation too - let's also throw in some sort of hormones? i know this is a whole science in itself, and ain't scientist 🥹 so i'll leave this a bit more broad, and say that they also play a part in stabilising miguel, ground him, so he won't go chasing a kid across the city... .ahem 😔

leading on from this, though, i wanna add some last things here. i know, i'm... meandering here , but lemme say;

take note of the intensity of miguel's eye colouration!

r e d - sorry, but you're shocked, buddy, best of luck surviving 💀

scarlet / bright red - feeling aggro, but holding enough of himself together to not act on his impulses

garnet - the default, feeling spidery, but also feeling human as close to a harmonious state as he can manage for the most part

dark brown - the goal!👀this is potentially a state that achieved after he injects himself. it floods him with a calm like nothing else he's ever felt. it's when he feels the most human again, a memory that's easily forgotten when you've got fangs and shoot webs from the back of your hands!!!

and it's with this last point, with the brown eyes, that i wanna bring this home with the little ritual miguel develops; after takin an injection, he'll make a point of brewing the strongest cup of black coffee that he can manage. a rare treat these days for him... especially given that caffeine does not agree with spiders. 💀

so yeah!!! thanks for reading through this ! 👋