#so i have no idea where to even start with that lmao

[cheshiresense]

Starrk time travels with Ichigo to TBTP is everything I never knew I needed! The pain of surviving again, of still being too strong to die- to give up and rest with Shunsui is chef’s kiss beautiful.

I have questions, ideas, thoughts- feel free to ignore any of them lol. First is do you think Hollows/Arrancars have pack instincts/pack bonds. I can imagine the horrible aching emptiness of reaching for friends and family who aren’t there anymore. Pack is forever, should be forever- but now they have to go on looking in the faces of people who loved them once and see nothing in their eyes. No pack bond or instincts that used to link them.

Second is do you think Starrk and Ichigo would eventually start napping together once they settle in a bit more? Starrk might be able to control it now, but I feel like there would be something reassuring about the fact that Ichigo could take it, wouldn’t buckle under the pressure. And then there’s the fact they’re the only ones who know, who understand the weight of it all.

Third is do you have an idea of who you’d ship Ichigo with in this au? I myself am partial to Koyonagi, but I can also see Shinji noticing something off and prowling around like the big cat he pretends he isn’t to investigate. I also imagine that not a few people would assume Starrk and Ichigo are in a relationship lol.

Lastly is I think it would be really interesting if Starrk and Ichigo ended up in the same division, especially since the draw to join the Eighth would be even more tempting. Do you think they’d stick together or try to spread out to be able to investigate/access more.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! And I haven't even gotten to the ShunStarrk parts yet but the prospect of it is incentive to write more lmao.

This got a bit long so I'll shove it under the cut:

1) I haven't thought much on this particular aspect of Hollows, although I do see it around a lot, it seems a pretty common headcanon. I def do think they have pack instincts, because even in canon you see Harribel and Grimmjow and others forming "packs" but idk if I'd go all the way to pack bonds. For me it would prob depend on where I want to take that particular fic. In this AU, I imagine Hollows do have pack instincts (again, that's basically canon) and Hollows in general are more sensitive to the reiatsu of pack members, but Starrk's gone so long without them that he's used to the pain of not having anyone. Plus he's like part wolf so I think that makes it worse, but after a thousand years he's probably numb to it. Then of course he got Shunsui for a while, and I imagine he kind of adopted the Fourth as his own and probably a few other Shinigami he'd grown close to, and now all of them are gone. He's in the same situation as Ichigo and grieving that loss, but it prob also feels physically worse for him. He knows what it's like to have pack now, and then he loses them all, and yeah he can sense Shunsui's reiatsu signature halfway across the Seireitei, and half the Fourth is a comfortable bubble at the edge of his awareness, but at the same time, they're not the same and his instincts can tell that too, so it's basically just a constant reminder of everything he no longer has. But he has a thousand years of experience at ignoring this sort of thing, and it's easy to fall back on it, he has to fall back on it because it's not like he can do anything about it anyway. His people, his pack, are gone, and like all the other things he was never able to change over the course of his long life, he can only resign himself to it and shoulder it as best he can.

But Shunsui in particular is a relentless ache in his chest, at the back of his mind, in the pulse of his very reiatsu, like pressure on a bruise on the days he can force himself to ignore it, like a gushing wound when he can't. It's still okay when he's at the Academy and doesn't actually have to see the man. Then Ichigo goes and picks up a stray who just so happens to be Shunsui's family, damn you too Mimihagi may you suffer from carpal tunnel for the rest of eternity, and because his luck has never been what anyone would call good, Starrk's practically expecting it the first time Ichigo awkwardly pesters him into joining their tutoring sessions behind the Eighth Division compound because Ichigo's excellent at Shunpou but he's never quite managed Yoruichi's flawless execution of it, and even before they'd become allies, Starrk's Sonido had been her equivalent, which had seamlessly translated over to Hohou once he'd gained the ability to learn it. Fujiwara's decent enough at it for an Academy student, but still far too slow for Ichigo's liking and also stupidly clumsy and Ichigo can't for the life of him figure out why, so can Starrk please come take a look and see if he can spot the problem or just tell him that there is no problem and all Academy students are just hopeless like this. Starrk wants to say no, but for all that Ichigo gets irritated with his own family for not being able to take no for an answer, the kid himself is actually no better than them, he's just a little more self-conscious about it, but the family resemblance is definitely there beyond just the appearance. Repeatedly refusing would take energy Starrk doesn't have, and he supposes it's nice too to see Ichigo starting to make friends again in this time period, starting to look past his grief. Starrk knows if he really puts his foot down, Ichigo will back off, but he doesn't want to set the kid back in case Ichigo gets the idea to also return to being a perpetual shut-in just because Starrk is, and if that means indulging Ichigo's whims, then so be it. He'd been sent back to serve as babysitter anyway so he may as well do the whole thing properly. And because his luck is just like that, the first time he goes, he finds that Ichigo has already somehow managed to lure his nosy Shiba cousin, his cousin's captain, and the Eighth Division captain Starrk's Shinigami but no he isn't not really not anymore never again to the training grounds even though it's the middle of the afternoon and they should all be at work. At least, judging by the disgruntled expression on Ichigo's face, this hadn't been Ichigo's idea of a good time either. Familiar grey eyes meet his from across the clearing, and for a moment, Starrk is certain someone's ripped his heart out again, leaving only an empty gaping hole in its wake once more, but a thousand times worse than it had ever felt when he'd still been just a Hollow and had never known anything else.

-

2) Honestly Ichigo already spends like 70% of his time in Starrk's room, his own is there just to gather dust and like fake out Kaien cuz the guy either hasn't thought to or at least still has enough manners to refrain from invading Starrk's room too (for now). So like two weeks into the Academy and Ichigo spending five days out of seven crashing on Starrk's floor, Starrk just gives up and goes out to buy an extra futon (and even more pillows because he's a pillow fiend and you can never have too many in his opinion) and Ichigo basically moves in after that. It's definitely comforting for both of them to have the other close by, especially Ichigo because his reikaku abilities are still hit or miss some days. Starrk can relax because his control hasn't been anything less than perfect since his Aizen days but occasionally he still worries about slipping up, except Ichigo is one of the few who can bear the brunt of it so it wouldn't matter even if he does. And Ichigo can relax because he's never really been one for subterfuge, it's actually killing him a little that he can't just bust out his Bankai and either beat Aizen to death or beat some sense into him over the skies of Soul Society like the good old days, but there's nothing he has to hide from Starrk, and Starrk's one of the ones - the only one left now - who's seen Ichigo at his very worst, and likewise it would take a lot of conscious effort on his part to actually hurt Starrk. Lashing out in the midst of a nightmare would wake Starrk but otherwise wouldn't even make him blink.

They can lower their guard around each other in a way they can't anywhere else outside of their room, and with Starrk's habit of carpeting most of the floor with soft things to sleep on, it's only natural to go to sleep next to each other and wake up - in the middle of the night or in the early morning when dawn hasn't even broken yet because it's easier to stare at the ceiling than spend another minute dreaming of faces they'll never truly see again - the same way. Neither of them really moves much when unconscious, and their instincts mark each other as safe, so these days, they sleep best in each other's company.

(This aches too though, sometimes, even though Starrk won't ever voice such a thing out loud. But sleeping with someone else beside him, even when they don't touch beyond an accidental brush of shoulders or a nightmare-fueled flail of a limb digging into his gut, reminds him of another warm body he'd spent close to a decade sleeping beside, half-draped over him or plastered against his back or letting him curl around them in return. It's another thing he'll never have again, but that's hardly Ichigo's fault, and he knows the kid doesn't do well alone either - who in this world does? - so Starrk's hardly going to say anything that would definitely chase Ichigo away because the kid's stupid like that. He locks the sense-memories behind his teeth instead, even when it keeps him up all night or wakes him in the morning just to make him feel like shit all over again when he remembers where and when he is. And it's not always bad. In this era, Ichigo is the only truly familiar thing that doesn't make Starrk's instincts bristle, which means he can sleep more deeply than he would allow himself anywhere else, and that's a comfort in and of itself.)

-

3) This I actually don't know, even in SP I don't really have a ship for Ichigo. But ship candidates are a dime a dozen for him lol. Kisuke's always my go-to for him but I guess he hasn't really been that prominent, although I can def steer things that way. I've written a few KoyoIchi so that's def also a possibility. Shinji is equally likely, and if they could give past!Aizen future!Aizen's memories, I could even pull off AiIchi, although if they could do that, I'd just do the same with Shunsui and then we would have less angst lmao. And it might be weird but I'm not opposed to Ichigo/Asuka but in a platonic neither of us are interested in other ppl and don't want to be bothered by marriage offers so let's just get engaged and it'll even be good for clan politics close friends sort of way. They might develop feelings for each other sometime down the road, but arranged marriage AU would be how it would start (this is actually a wip idea I've had for a long time that I've just never written). Also I just feel like Starrk would be vaguely amused by how they both got attached to Kyourakus (or Kyouraku-adjacent I guess), like what is it about that family 😂 But yeah nothing really concrete yet. Ppl might assume that Starrk and Ichigo are a thing because Ichigo doesn't hang out with anyone else at first, and Starrk basically only leaves school grounds to accompany Ichigo somewhere, but I imagine that would clear up after like thirty minutes of watching them interact, esp once Rangiku and Asuka and Gin are more permanent fixtures in their group and Starrk's just trailing after them like a long-suffering dad, the generational gap would be pretty obvious.

-

4) Oh man I've definitely thought about this. So unlike SP where Ichigo's like It Is My Duty To Go To The Fifth Just To Keep An Eye On Aizen's Shenanigans Even If That Means Self-Inflicted Emotional Torture The Entire Time, Starrk puts a stop to that nonsense in this AU. He doesn't actually care where Ichigo wants to go, Ichigo can take care of himself even if Aizen breaks cover and goes all traitor on them a hundred years early, and he's not here to tell the kid what to do anyway, but when Ichigo's waffling between the Eighth or the Fifth, and it becomes pretty fucking clear that he only wants to go to the Fifth because he thinks he has to, because there's no other way to keep track of Aizen, and he starts getting tunnel vision the way he does when he's brooding and obsessing over protecting people, that's when Starrk steps in.

"It's one thing if you want to go because you want to," Starrk says, watching the kid pace their room like a caged tiger. "But I don't think you do, not with the way you behave around Hirako. Besides, are you even going to be able to get anything done when you'll be constantly stressed out by being so close to Aizen?" He pauses, then adds with a ghost of a smile, "And then there's the fact that you're a really bad liar."

Ichigo swings around to splutter indignantly at him. "I am not! I can lie!"

Starrk shrugs. "Good enough to fool Hirako and Aizen when they'll be right there observing you up close every single day?"

Ichigo opens his mouth, then closes it again. Good, at least he's self-aware.

Starrk lets him think it over for a moment, tracking the conflicted shift of emotions across Ichigo's face - and he wants to play spy in front of the likes of Aizen like this? - before continuing quietly, "This is it, you know."

Ichigo blinks at him, thrown by the non-sequitur.

Starrk sighs and leans back against the windowsill at his back, slanting his gaze to the sky outside, winter-pale but clear. "What we're doing--it isn't a job with an end date. We don't get to go back home once we're done. There's no home to go back to."

In his peripheral, Ichigo is suddenly very still.

"This is it," Starrk repeats without taking his eyes off the distant horizon. "And you gain nothing from focusing all your energy on one man who won't even be showing his hand anytime soon. If anything, finding out you're suspicious of him will only move up his timeline or cause him to do something drastic, and then we might not be able to predict him at all. And that's not even getting into what the Quincy might do if you show your hand too soon, with or without their king. But even that's beside the point."

He turns back to Ichigo, taking in the weary grief in the furrow of his brow and the bitter curve of his mouth, and he knows Ichigo already understands. Still, he finishes as gently as he knows how, "This is where we live now, and maybe it isn't home yet, but maybe it's time to start thinking about what it will take to make it one. How do you want to live, Ichigo? Once everything is over, what kind of life will you have built for yourself by then? Or will you let Aizen dictate that too?"

A minute flinch ripples across Ichigo's shoulders. Starrk presses on, as ruthless as he'd learned from Aizen, from Shunsui even more. "Will you let him hound you all the way to your final grave? Or will you let Yhwach do it again? Your mother died to save you. Your friends died protecting you. Is their love for you only worth yet another suicide run at a bunch of madmen and would-be-gods? Do you think that this was all you were worth to them?"

Ichigo flinches again, and for a split second, his expression scrunches like he wants to take a swing at Starrk.

Starrk waits him out, because Ichigo isn't an idiot, but sometimes, it's like he just can't understand certain things without them being spelled out for him. And some things, Starrk thinks, should be heard, should be said.

He wonders if anyone's ever told this kid that he's allowed to live for himself too.

(He also wonders how much of a hypocrite every word coming out of his mouth right now is going to make him in the future.

But it's different, with Ichigo. Starrk is over a thousand years old. At this point, going to his grave isn't a big deal. But Ichigo hasn't even reached three decades, and he's spent a solid ten of those years on one battlefield or another. If one of them has to die at the end of all this, it definitely shouldn't be Ichigo.

This kid needs to learn how to live. There's no time like the present to start, and if that means Starrk has to hit where it hurts, well, infections must be lanced sooner or later.)

At last, Ichigo's shoulders slump, and he deflates like a balloon, anger and hurt deserting him, leaving only exhaustion in their wake.

"Sometimes, you sound so much like Kyouraku-san it's scary," Ichigo informs him, flopping bonelessly onto a nearby pile of pillows.

Starrk says nothing. If that had been meant to hurt, well, he probably deserves it.

"Aizen does need to be watched," Ichigo persists, but he sounds almost relieved at the possibility that he won't have to be the one to do it.

Starrk grunts dismissively. "I can sense him from here. I know when he's in his office, and when he leaves a double and takes off for Rukongai. I think that's enough for now."

Ichigo's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "His hypnosis isn't affecting you?"

Starrk tips a glance at him. "The soul remembers. It doesn't affect you either, does it?"

"That's true," Ichigo concedes. "But wait, did he never show you his Shikai? Or you touched his blade somehow?"

"My reiatsu ate it," Starrk summarizes succinctly, then clarifies with a flicker of exasperation at the wide-eyed look he gets, "His hypnosis, not his blade. He never put much effort into hypnotizing the Espada, just enough to make sure we'd obey without too much fuss. And when it comes down to it, even Zanpakutou abilities is just reiatsu cast in a specific shape. It was easy enough to get rid of it after I was whole again."

He thinks of Lilynette and breathes through that particular ache, old now, more scar than open wound, but there all the same.

Ichigo makes a comprehending sound. "That's pretty handy. Can your reiatsu eat it if it's cast on someone else?"

Starrk nods. He'd done as much for Shunsui, and a few others as necessary. Aizen had never been able to affect the Captain-Commander again after he'd been let out of Muken. And for all that they'd been nominally on the same side, Aizen had actually tried a few times. Starrk thinks he'd probably just wanted to see if he could, because after each attempt, he'd turn and look at Starrk with something like amusement and something like contempt.

(Once, he'd remarked in private that Starrk certainly had a preference for kneeling at the feet of Shinigami masters, and he'd asked what made Shunsui the better one to serve, if perhaps he also should've forced Starrk to spread his legs for him, if that would've succeeded in breaking Starrk further, in making him even more eager to please, as much as Shunsui had clearly accomplished with him.

Shunsui had overheard. On hindsight, Starrk's fairly certain Aizen had wanted him to, had waited for him to get close enough to hear everything, though for what purpose even Starrk hadn't been able to figure out, because the resulting confrontation hadn't been pretty. It'd been one of the few times Starrk had seen his Shinigami lose his temper, his wrath a silent deadly creature no one would expect, and in that moment, the shadows around them had almost devoured Aizen whole. They'd certainly left their mark in the aftermath, Aizen's flesh cracked open with scars as black as the void. Even then, Starrk doesn't think Aizen had truly been intimidated, but he'd also never said another word of the sort to Starrk ever again.)

"I'd have to get closer to detect his more intricate workings," Starrk admits. "But I think between that and being able to sense him, it's enough of a safeguard without needing to join the Fifth as well. There isn't much of a point to that anyway. It's not like we don't already have a general idea of what he's doing, or where he's doing it. He isn't the sort to leave evidence lying around either so I doubt you'd be able to gather any."

He glances at Ichigo again, finally letting himself relax when he sees the kid nodding along, albeit with a rather grumpy expression.

"For now," Starrk concludes. "It's best to establish our presence here in this time, make connections, make allies, and eventually make sure we have enough people on our side to tip the scales in our favour. Aizen is one thing, but even the two of us can't take down the entire Wandenreich on our own. When the time comes, there must be people willing to believe us even without concrete proof of the Quincy's existence."

He catches Ichigo's eye, intent to get this point across, if nothing else. "No matter how powerful, there is only so much one can do alone. And you are not alone, Ichigo."

Ichigo's face crumples a little, and for a half a heartbeat, Starrk is terrified he's about to cry. Thankfully, that doesn't happen, and a moment later, Ichigo nods, his eyes a little brighter now, his shoulders a little less weighed down.

"Okay," Ichigo says decisively. "Then… I think I want to go to the Eighth." He smiles a bit wryly. "You're both bastards, but somehow, I like that about you guys. And if it's Kyouraku-san, it wouldn't be hard to work under his command."

He stops and grows more solemn, his gaze a little too sympathetic this time. "Will you join the Eighth too?"

"No," Starrk doesn't hesitate. He's already thought about it, had already made up his mind months ago, even before he'd met Shunsui again. His answer had only cemented further after meeting him. Besides, "I'm going to the Fourth."

He thinks of the agreement he'd hashed out with Mimihagi. He thinks of one of the things that had immediately come to mind when time travel of all things had been proposed to him. He thinks of the things he can do, the things he can create.

He thinks of the life he'd bargained for.

"Back in our time," Starrk only says in the end, meeting Ichigo's gaze calmly. "I was told by everyone who knew her that Unohana-taichou was the best healer in living memory. Now she is alive again, so that's what I want. I want to learn from her."

Ichigo snickers, oblivious. "Well, you are a huge medical nerd so I should've known. So long as you're happy I guess. Try not to take over the division again within the year. I wouldn't bet on your odds against Unohana-san."

Starrk rolls his eyes because honestly Kotetsu had practically gift-wrapped her division for him, he hadn't meant to take over, he hadn't even been a halfway respectable healer at the time, he'd just been strong, with the manpower to support the actual healers, and apparently, that'd been enough. He'd been horrified when Shunsui had sided with them.

Ichigo laughs outright, Starrk shakes his head, and with their choices made, the future begins to take shape once more.

[rebouks]

Do you have any recommendations for starting a story? Yours is so good and it really inspires me to try and make one of my own but idk where to start

Hmmm a tough question! I think we all just kinda start and learn as we go? It's the best way tbh.. if you look back at the beginning of most simblr stories they've usually come a long way! Here's a couple tips that I think might be handy tho...

Maybe we could start a thread and everyone could reblog this with their own tips?! 🤩

Decide if you want to build your own lots/sets or not. If you do you'll probs wanna start off with the main places you'll use that're full of personality, like a main characters house or place of work etc. you can always download some neat lots and edit them to your liking if you're not a builder, or maybe even download a whole save file!

Start a character page (or make an intro post for em if you can't be arsed with the technicalities) - not essential but useful for you and the readers to keep track of who's who and maybe state a few facts about them etc.

Start collecting some poses and ideally rename them so they're easy to find! I personally like to add smth like [PETS] or [KISSING] etc to mine (in s4s) in conjunction with twistedmexi's pose finder to make things easier to grab.

If you use reshade/gshade, taking the time to find or create a nice preset will save you a bunch of time editing.

For the love of god if you're gonna make a bunch of extras, try and dress them in maxis clothes/hair.. I'm so SICK of having to redress everyone every time I clear out a bunch of cc skjdksj 🙈 you can always give em an extra, fancy cc outfit for specific scenes on the day but yeah, do yourself a solid where possible to save time/pain in the future. Same goes for lots you don't use often, try and limit the cc you use!

Figure out if you're a planner or not! If you can't manage without a plan it's okay to take some time before starting to figure everything out and get a detailed outline going. If you're more of a pantser (like me!) you can always just get going with a rough idea in mind and see what happens!

If you're gonna go with the flow I'd still recommend creating at least a rough outline, you don't have to stick to it like glue but it'll probs help you stay on track and I wish I'd have done this in the beginning, esp if you're gonna have a plot heavy story.

Characters > plot.. (imo!) like.. you could have a super interesting plot in mind but if no one really knows or cares about your characters it's gonna have a limited impact/amount of interest. They don't even have to be likable lmao

Give your characters some flaws! It's fun and it makes them more relatable.

Start with a small cast - not a complete must but it'll be probably be easier for people to get to know your pixels if they're aren't a million of them right off the bat. You can always add more later.

Try not to shoehorn your characters into situations they wouldn't end up in just to further the plot.. a hard one to explain and mostly based on intuition but if a scene feels boring, out of place or forced, it probably is! aka.. be willing to kill your darlings. Maybe you've already established that your character is poor or smth but have this fun idea of a road trip montage or whatever.. like you can't just give them a car and the money to drive a million miles just cos you HAVE to see that scene y'know? Maybe they're gonna have to hitch hike, get the bus, or take out a loan? Probs a bad example but hopefully you get the idea! It can sometimes be more fun to force your characters into a different situation than you imagined anyway, like maybe they meet someone really neat on the bus and they join the trip, or maybe whoever they borrowed money from gets all pissy when they can't pay em back quick enough etc etc.

Let your characters guide you - sometimes characters talk to us! You could've had a whole storyline planned for them, or a romance of whatever, but when it comes down to it, it just doesn't feel right and that's okay! Let them lead you in a different direction now n' then.

Write for you! (ugh becca stfu with this shit) I know, I know but really.. if you're not having fun, what's the point? Don't write what you think other people want and learn to be okay with cutting ideas/scenes/characters/whatever! that you aren't excited about anymore. It should never feel like a chore to create, and if it starts to feel that way, take a break or change it up!

I feel like this is super rambly and I've missed a million obvious things but my brain is mashed potato rn lmao.. pls feel free to add your own tips in a reblog or a comment - everyone has a different take on things! I think it's really important just to start and see what feels natural tho 🤸‍♀️🧡

[starclancy]

Request: I adored your little Sanji fluffy drabble! The dialogue was so charming, I kept giggling at Sanji's lines.

If you're up to write more of him, can I request a scenario with fem!reader where she's new to the crew and still doesn't know about Sanji's "never ever hurt a woman rule"? I love the idea of Sanji having a bad luck streak when she joins that makes him accidentally hurt the reader (spilling hot tea on her, elbowing her in the ribs cause he was gesticulating too wildly, in general him being uncharacteristically clumsy around her). It would be as fun to read for me as heartbreaking for Sanji to live through lmao Bonus points if the reader starts to think he might just actually dislike her and he's being passive-aggresive about suddenly having her around all the time!

Of course, no pressure no write any of this if it's not your style xoxo

Thank you! this is a great request and i loved writing it!

~ Stirring Trouble ~

PAIRING: Fem!Reader/Sanji

CONTENTS: 💔 - angst / 🩷 - fluff

WORDCOUNT: 1010

Request status: Open

The Thousand Sunny was alive with the hum of activity as its new crew member—you—tried to find her place. You hadn’t been aboard long, but you’d already learned one thing: fitting in with this crew of chaotic misfits was no easy task.

Particularly when it came to him.

Sanji.

Blond hair swept back, suit sharp even in the heat of battle, and a voice that could make compliments sound like poetry. He was charming, flirtatious, and seemingly smooth as butter. Or so you thought—until you joined the crew.

It started innocently enough.

“Tea for the lovely new addition,” Sanji had said during breakfast your first morning. You smiled, reaching for the cup. Then—disaster.

His hand twitched. Maybe it was a sudden sway of the ship or just bad luck, but before you could grab the cup, its contents splashed right onto your hand.

“Ah!” you yelped, jerking back.

Sanji’s face drained of color. “Oh, no—no! My goddess, I’m so sorry! Did I burn you? Let me see!”

You waved him off with an awkward laugh. “It’s fine, really! Just caught me off guard.”

But that wasn’t the end of it.

Later that day, you stood in the galley as Sanji gestured wildly while recounting a story to Usopp. You turned to grab a plate when his elbow jabbed you—hard—in the ribs.

“Ow!”

Sanji froze mid-sentence. His face turned pale again. “Oh no, did I—?!”

You clutched your side, blinking at him in confusion. “It’s okay. Just… be careful, maybe?”

From there, it only got worse. A flurry of small but noticeable accidents followed: bumping into you while carrying a pot of soup, knocking over a chair you were about to sit in, accidentally flinging flour at you during prep. Each time, Sanji’s face twisted in agony as he apologized profusely.

At first, you chalked it up to nerves. Maybe he was just unused to you being there. But after the fourth or fifth incident, you began to wonder if there was something more.

~ A Few Days Later ~

By the time you’d been with the crew for nearly a week, you couldn’t shake the thought that Sanji might dislike you.

He was sweet and doting to everyone else: Zoro got hearty portions of food despite their bickering; Nami had fresh fruit delivered to her lounging spot; Robin got delicate pastries with her afternoon tea.

And you? Well, if clumsy spills and near-constant accidents were “attention,” you weren’t sure you wanted it.

Your growing frustration finally boiled over during dinner prep. You were helping chop vegetables when Sanji accidentally nudged a bowl of chopped onions, sending it flying toward your lap.

“Seriously?!” you snapped, standing up abruptly as the bowl clattered to the floor.

Sanji’s eyes widened. “I—I didn’t mean—”

“Do you have some kind of problem with me?” you interrupted, crossing your arms. “Because if you do, just say it. All this passive-aggressive nonsense is driving me insane.”

The room fell silent. Even Luffy paused mid-bite, a rare sight.

“Passive… aggressive?” Sanji repeated, his voice faint.

“You keep spilling things, elbowing me, tripping me—I get it, you don’t want me here!”

Sanji staggered back, clutching his chest like your words had physically struck him. “What?! I would never—!”

“Then what is it?” you demanded. “Because I’m tired of feeling like some kind of walking target!”

Sanji dropped to his knees so fast you thought he might’ve lost consciousness. “Mon dieu, please forgive me! I’m such a clumsy fool!” He grabbed your hands desperately, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

You blinked, startled. “Wait… what?”

“I swear on my honor as a chef, I would rather throw myself into the Grand Line than harm you! I—” He took a shaky breath. “I’ve been nervous. You’re so… radiant, and perfect, and I—” He looked away, guilt written all over his face. “I think my admiration is making me act like an idiot. I can’t help it!”

The room went deathly quiet for a moment. Then, from across the room:

“Pfft—”

Luffy burst into laughter, followed by Usopp and Chopper. Even Zoro snorted behind his sake cup.

“Sanji, you’re an idiot,” Nami muttered, shaking her head fondly.

You stared at him, heat rushing to your face. “Wait, so… you don’t hate me?”

“Hate you?!” He looked horrified. “I worship the ground you walk on!”

The honesty in his voice made your heart skip a beat.

“…Oh.” You glanced down, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

He knelt there, still holding your hands, his face red but sincere. “Please forgive me, my goddess. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

“Anything?” you teased, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

“Anything,” he vowed solemnly.

“…Okay. You can start by helping me clean up this mess.”

Sanji sprang to his feet, a hand on his heart. “It would be my honor.”

As he scrambled to fetch a broom, you couldn’t help but laugh softly. Maybe fitting in with this crew wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[howler-moon]

Caitlyn Arcan.......

I'm currently dying of the flu all that's keeping me alive is thinking about arcane because my head hurts if I look at bright colours for too long or listen to anything with more than three syllables. (Update after writing I genuinely don't understand my original point for writing this im so out of it but its too much to not post now so i think i just wanted to info dump about caitlyn because i NEED ACT THREE I NEED IT NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEAE PLEAS)

Anyway I do believe some people are missing that its not just Cassandra's death that is motivating Caitlyn to make the worst possible decisions known to man, although it is the thing that tips the scale for her. All this started way back in S1 E4 when Jinx went to steal the Hextech research. While Caitlyn was on duty she blew up a building as a distraction, killing 6 of her colleagues and almost herself according to Jayce. This incident alone already seemed to shake her up as she spent the majority of her time recovering absolutely obsessing over the case and who the culprit is (Vi herself says "and I thought Power could get obsessed" upon seeing her research she was LOCKED IN). Branching off from this, this incident also almost cost Caitlyn her job, something she has fought tooth and nail for against her mother's wishes and barely gets any respect in the field despite being like the only Enforcer who was good or even cared about her job (RIP Grayson). Say what you will about the Enforcers whether you don't care or despise what they stand for but you can't deny how important that job is to Caitlyn. Its her main source of independence ("she'd do anything to keep me from seeing the real world") and being forced to work behind a desk because of Jinx's attack would absolutely destroy her.

Skipping ahead to episode 9 we all know about the shower scene.......That shit is mad scary like hello?? It's like a direct parallel to the attack where she first met her as well. The smoke/steam clears and Caitlyn just looks up in dread to see Jinx's art sprawled across the wall. Except this time, instead of being some unfamiliar symbol out in the open, she knows what it means. She knows who it belongs to and that person is inside her home. In her bathroom no less, while she was brooding in the shower lmao. She genuinely could not be any more vulnerable in this situation and now she has been kidnapped and brought to some Mad Hatter esque tea party in some dingy run down factory in the middle of no where with the Silco and Vi causally tied up beside her. She's absolutely terrified too she flinches and begs Vi to the best of her ability not to shoot her, only for Jinx to go and threaten to do it instead. Keep in mind Caitlyn probably has no idea why Jinx wants her dead. Like she might have some idea but not to the level that the audience does simply because she is not informed by the humble dramatic irony. When she finally does break free Jinx ever so causally beats the shit out of her in the blink of an eye and of course to top it off once she wakes up again she's watching a nuke fly straight to her mother's exact location.

I don't think I need to explain why her mother dying would upset her. That was a massive blow (wayheyhey), and dramatically worsens the obsession we saw in S1. But the memorial.........guys think of the memorial........... Now let it be known to the court that this part was Ambessa's doing. Ambessa was the one who organised the attack on the memorial, but Cait doesn't know that. She wouldn't have taken Ambessa's offer if she did. To Caitlyn this is another thing Jinx has done, another attack directly on her for no reason other than to be cruel. To rub it in her face. Gassing the streets and engaging in police brutality is NOT the way to go trust me I was just as appalled as everyone at the start of S2 E3 like genuinely hand over my mouth saying "thats a war crime" to the screen over and over like she would hear me, but it did not come out of nowhere for no reason (whether good or bad). Caitlyn voices her frustration of "why is peace always the justification for violence" but she probably believes violence is a justification for violence considering her reactions to the memorial and Warwick's attack on Stillwater. She's not one to lead with violence but she will follow with it if properly provoked, and my god have people been provoking her. The time she shot Sevika, her initial hostility when captured by the Firelight's, up until The Grey, Cait has only responded violently when someone acted violently towards her/Vi. She only starts acting out first after the memorial but she still believes it's in response to what Jinx has done to her, even when it's people who have nothing to do with her. I think Ambessa further trains this response into her with their little spars as seen in S2 E6. When Huck jumpscares Caitlyn in S1 E6, she does pull her gun out on him yeah I'll give you that, but she doesn't do anything to him. It's more of a warning or means to defend herself as Vi is bleeding out on the floor behind her in this dingy little hole full of Shimmer addicts and she does talk it out with him. Whereas as season later in S2 E6, as soon as she sees Vi she does not hesitate she goes STRAIGHT for the kill, jumps down and fucking body slams her before even realizing who she was.

Anyway yeah I'm becoming ill again my point is, like every character in the show everything Cait has done has been building up since day one. It's not good that shes doing anything to get revenge but when you look at it from her perspective its like damn girl what did she do. Yes she's in a privileged position yes she works for the police but she's still human dawg how would you react to the situations she has been in. Mel is literally feeding into government corruption yall didn't care when she told Jayce to lay off with the Hex gate restrictions to keep the rich people happy and yall still love her (I love her too).

The parallels between Jinx and Cait go absolutely crazy they're both the same and on opposite sides of the spectrum at the same time. I understand why people prefer her more so than Cait, she's more of the underdog we've known her since she was a child and the majority of the things that happened to her happened when she was very young which makes it more tragic I am not denying that she is as relatable as a terrorist can get I love Jinx<333 Jinx my pookie Jinx my beloved <333 But I also love Caitlyn because she's silly and a girlfailure. My point is that I find it so weird that the Arcane fandom can hate a character for doing something bad and refuse to see their side of things when literally every character has done something bad if not worse and their side they have no trouble seeing/accepting. Except Ekko, Ekko genuinely has done nothing wrong in his life I've never met an Ekko hater in my life and if they exist I don't believe you.

If you're wondering what my opinion is on Jayce its that I appreciate what he adds to the story but I would hate to have a conversation with him. Not because I hate him but because I'm on my period right now and he would act like it's a cancer diagnosis

please dont hurnt me

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Fifteen

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Sorry sorry sorry for how long it's taken for me to update!! Had a lot on and then I got real sick. Hope this is an alright update though:) Continues on from the last scene where they were at the cinema!

Enjoy seeing the articles I tried to make too lmao, they're there not too far down after the first couple paragraphs. Idk what I was thinking w that one, but it felt necessary after the long wait!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy @helloitsme1223 @geekchic48

Masterlist

It was Saturday, and Saturday typically meant that the weekend had finally come. And both of those things had yet to occur whilst I’d been staying in Detroit. Which, in truth, wasn’t the only thing to throw me completely off my game this morning.

Although honestly, it was a really big change.

Rosie wasn’t around yet. Apparently Saturday’s were sacred days within the Mathers household, seeing as the pre-teen liked to sleep in on the mornings she had off from school, which also meant that Marshall got to finally have a lie-in. Or, at least it seemed that way when I’d decided to venture from the confines of my room around about nine, after having had a brief breakdown over everything I’d woken up to.

The media was in meltdown mode.

Every news outlet from here to Beijing was talking about the pictures that had been captured last night in the car park to the theatre, as well as the one’s I’d taken with that particular girl outside of the women’s bathroom. It seemed that other fans had connected all the dots in the time between my head hitting the pillow and now. 

I had zero idea as to what I was meant to do about it all. My phone was blowing up with notifications from every account that I held, as well as friends and even some family members I hadn’t spoken to since I’d told them where they could shove it the last time they’d come sniffing round looking for a payout. 

It was the most nauseating feeling, believing that you’d lost complete control over a situation.

But it was just as I’d gathered up the courage to go knock on Em’s bedroom door that my phone rang once again. Only this time, it was one of the names I’d been hoping to see. 

“Elia, you there?”

A shaky breath escaped me as I pressed my phone closer to my ear, hastily turning on my heel to head down the stairs. 

“Mila.” I exhaled, but even I could hear the anxiety that lined my voice and it wasn’t because Mila and I had barely spoken since the whole argument we’d had over Lottie. No, this was down to me knowing that things had to be really fucked up because my manager had shared that same wavering tone. “I don’t know what to do. Everything– it’s all just blown up in my face.”

There was a long pause which followed my clumsy reply, I used it to slip out of the back garden door to escape the sudden confining feel the house had started to give me. Which seemed so stupid in hindsight, what with how big it was, but that thought alone allowed me to take another deep breath. 

I shivered at the cold that overwhelmed Detroit in the early throes of winter but didn’t care enough to head back inside to grab a cardigan or even a pair of shoes. My mind honed in on the way my life seemed to be crumbling piece by piece, first with Lottie and her dad, then that whole back and forth thing with Marshall, and now this.

“It’s not as bad as you think.”

Rolling my eyes at the answer Mila gave, I could only huff out a mirthless laugh, stressed beyond belief. 

“Yeah, it’s not like my face is plastered over every gossip rag across the world– oh wait, it is.” I sniped back, “And they’re all painting me out to be Marshall’s next big fling, and if not that, then some fucking groupie. Like I’m not a nominated artist too, as though all I am is someone to mooch off of his fame.”

Mila sighed softly, even after my heated retort, and I could hear it clearly over the rustle of leaves as well the birds that seemed to be chirping in the distance. I tried to let them ground me. “I didn’t mean it like that. It probably does look pretty bad from your end–”

I cut her off with a scoff– so much for trying for a bit of calm. “Bad? Mila, bad would have been me spotted leaving Detroit and people conspiring over why I was here in the first place. Not this.” I dragged a tense hand through my hair, “Em is gonna flip his shit when he sees everything.”

She sighed, again, and I could only rub tiredly at my eyes. “Babe, listen to me. You’ve not ever really had any publicity like this,” Mila started, and before I could think to lash back at that remark, she was already beating me to the punch, “And no, before you say anything, not like that. I know that you don’t want anything out of this whole fiasco, believe me the amount of times I’ve had to suffer through just because your ego wouldn’t let you take anything for free is insufferable. But anyway, I simply meant in the way that you’ve not really had many big knocks or hits like this throughout the press. Sure, your family and your background’s been brought up a lot, but babe, those are just conversation starters for you now, it sort of was back then too. This is all just scarier to you because it’s new.”

I had to take a second to really hear Mila’s words, for them to sink and settle before I could analyse them. In a way, she wasn’t completely wrong. I could at least admit that. Didn't mean that I hadn’t faced my fair share of backlash though, just maybe not on this level? And not over someone I was supposedly dating either, my brain unhelpfully supplied.

I closed my eyes, silently wishing for a cigarette I didn’t have, and then unclenched my jaw.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I confessed to her quietly, then shivered when another harsh wind blew through the garden. I wrapped an arm around myself, to shelter me from the cold air or how exposed I felt, I didn’t know.

Mila stayed silent too, until I heard a large intake of breath and the sound of a door closing on the other side. “Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re going to talk to Marshall, you’re going to figure out what it is you want, not just him or his team.” She added as a forethought, knowing me far too well. “Then the pair of you, you and him, can decide how and where you want to take this.”

I exhaled slowly and watched as my breath clouded the air, it made me wonder how cold it might have been over in London. “Right.”

Mila continued on, her familiar lilt taking back the weariness which had homed it minutes earlier, “I mean it’s not like anything’s actually happened, if you want to you two can just ignore it easy, wait for this all to blow over. It’s just gossip.”

My eyes widened and I stilled at her words.

But I must’ve been quiet far too long though, because Mila called my name and suddenly I was forcing myself to blink as I attempted to swallow back the memories of that kiss, of him holding my hand with all the care in the world. 

“Right,” I repeated again, then cursed the way my voice cracked on the vowel.

Mila caught it right away and I felt rather than heard her internalise exactly what that could possibly mean, “You haven’t done anything– right?”

My mouth worked over words that wouldn’t quite come out and then winced when I heard my manager drop the phone to curse heatedly in Spanish.

It took a long minute before Mila had seemingly calmed herself enough to return to the call, time in which I spent worrying my knuckle between my teeth and wondering if everything that had happened with Em was even worth mentioning. If it mattered enough to him for me to voice it now. 

“How long have I been telling you that you need to get back out there, to meet somebody and have some fun? I’m glad you took my advice, really, but I didn’t quite mean wrangle the biggest old-school rapper into your bed whilst holidaying in his mansion!”

I let my head fall into the hand not holding my phone and pinched at the bridge of my nose. I didn’t want to regret it, the things that had happened with Marshall, but Mila was sort of right. What had I really expected to happen between the two of us? He was a Dad, more famous than anyone could hope to be, and a tad bit older… Okay, a fair bit older– a decade, sue me. Hollywood had seen worse.

That wasn’t even it though, how had I yet to consider what the media, the press, the fans would think of it all? I supposed I’d pretty much found out.

“I didn’t sleep with him.”

Mila made an odd sort of noise at my admission which sounded tinny through the speaker, “Don’t lie to me now! Those photos don’t offer much, I’ll give you that, but babe, there was some sort of connection there.”

I fish mouthed again. 

Mila didn’t seem to note the silence, “People are in actual awe over the look one picture managed to capture on his face! There’s no way you haven’t got that man wrapped around your finger.”

Blinking, I tried to recall what image she could possibly be talking about. I hadn’t seen anything of the sort. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Mils. Nothing like that has happened. It was just–” My mouth felt dry, the sort of dry you’d experience after being lost in a desert for days or just swallowed a spoonful of flour.

“Just what?” Mila prodded.

And I forced myself to finish my sentence, stare caught on the dampness that clung to the soles of my feet, “A kiss.”

–

I had a list now. 

Of tasks to complete, one of which warned me to stay off all social media for my own good. Mila’s orders, not my own. But still, I couldn’t quite part with my phone even as I stepped back through the garden door into the kitchen, shivering at the rapid change in temperature and the sick feeling of anxiety that welled inside of me. 

Even with that though, I noticed how the house now seemed to buzz, in a way which had me figuring that I was no longer the only occupant awake. So I swallowed back the lump of worry that sat heavy in my throat and made to trail my way further inside, ignoring the slight chill of tile that followed my feet. 

I found him stood at the very top of the stairs with Rosie hanging off his hip, the silliest of grins plastered across her face which only appeared to brighten upon seeing me. “El!” She called out in excitement before she turned to fix her father with a ‘told you so’ glare, “See, she is awake!”

Marshall rolled his eyes at the rebuttal, but did evidently blow out a huffed chuckle in turn, choosing to let his daughter slip down his side and out of the captive hold he’d had her in for my supposed sake. He shook his head at her before he then turned to me, the exasperated look he’d gifted her disappeared the moment he saw my face. “You good?” He asked me, brow furrowing as Z peered between the pair of us.

“Where’s your phone?” Is all I answered him with.

His expression deepened at the nonanswer, but he scratched his head in thought before he recalled, “Chargin’ downstairs, I think. Died when we got home.”

Home, home, home.

I realised, not for the first time, that I’d taken to thinking of it that way too. Calling it London and not home each time it got brought up.

Swallowing once more, I felt another wave of nausea overwhelm me. Rosie’s head tilted in confusion as she quietly made her way down the staircase, hand sliding over the wooden rail. “I–” I tried, but fumbled for the right words to say. If there even were any. I let go of another breath, “You should go take a look.”

Marshall greeted my words with a look of reservation but did move to step down off the landing, making it to the bottom just as Rosie crowded me, her smaller figure slotting into my side with ease. I allowed a hand to come up and cradle the top of her head, hoping that whatever transpired from this wouldn’t sour things enough to send me back to London early.

And why was that my only hope? Instead of the way this could all impact me and my career, or the people around Marshall?

I didn’t move to follow Em as he made his way into the kitchen, socked feet padding over the tiled floor, much preferring the warmth that radiated from Z as I fought not to worry at my knuckles once more. I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to bear witness to his reaction. 

“You’re freezing.” 

The words caught me by surprise and so I blinked away from where I’d just been staring off into the distance, then peered down at the girl whose arms were wound around me. Rosie had her head tilted back, chin resting on the curve of my arm as she waited for an explanation. 

“Sorry, just stepped outside for a minute,” I apologised to her whilst simultaneously answering the unasked question. It was subconscious, the action to rub a gentle hand up and down her arm in hopes to warm the pair of us up a tad, and Z countered her previous words by burrowing in closer. 

“Are you leaving then?” 

That next question immediately had me frowning, wiping away all the previous doubts that had just been running rampant through my mind. 

“No, not yet.” I assured her softly, peering down at her once again. Her face was half-hidden, blonde hair mussed by sleep, and in that moment she looked so much younger to me. “Why you asking, hoping to get rid of me?” I teased sweetly, hoping that the method wouldn’t send her skittering into her shell and instead give me something of an honest answer.

The girl shook her head against my arm, then shrugged, “Just, you looked sad.”

A sad smile slowly eased over my features at that and I couldn’t help the way I squeezed her tighter. “Busy morning, I think.” I said in comfort, then thought about my next words, “But even if I was sad, doesn’t mean I’d just pack up and leave. Me and you, we’ve bonded, gonna have a hard time getting rid, okay?”

I pinched her side playfully with that, a move that had her squeaking and tripping over her feet to get away from my attack whilst still staying plastered to my side. “Don’t! You’re actually the worst!”

Laughing as she dissolved into giggles too, I relented on the tickling. And it was just as I went to reply that a sound had my head snapping up and over towards the kitchen doorway, heart stilling in my chest at the sight of Marshall stood there, phone in hand, his face void of any emotion.

“We need to talk.”

Rosie appeared to be all too aware of the sudden tension that dragged between us then, as well as the coil of nerves which straightened my spine, because she let her arms slip from my waist and took her hand in mine, squeezing ever so as she turned to look up at me. Obviously confused, she had no words to offer but the sentiment was clear anyway, she cared enough to stand against her Dad without even knowing what was going on.

It threw me completely.

Marshall seemed to catch on to the silent protest too, his blank expression flickering with evident surprise before he managed to unclench his hand from around his phone and drag it over the top of his head. He slumped, the ridgid stress he’d just been wearing melting ever so slightly. “We just gone talk, Z. She ain’t goin’ nowhere, I swear it’s work stuff. Something happened and now we gotta work out how we gone fix it, baby. That’s all.”

Z stared long and hard back at Marshall and the man met her eyes dead on, showing her he only meant the truth. His words seemed to appease some part of her, I deemed, enough to have her tightening her hold on my hand once more before she reluctantly pulled away. 

I only wished that they’d had the same effect on me.

“That mean we’re not having pancakes then?” She wondered as she trailed across the hallway to head towards the kitchen, Em’s shoulders dropped slightly when she approached and he moved to run a hand through her hair.

“Promise is a promise. Jus’ have to wait a little longer, cool?” He answered, gazing down at her before he finally allowed her to slip by after she’d given him a nod. It was with that in which he turned to face me again and I had no idea what was going to go down, let alone how he was going to react. So when he silently gestured his head off to the side, I could only force my feet into following behind him.

We ended up in a small office just off of the living room, one I hadn’t really been in before now and that was decorated sparsely enough to ensure that no one else did either, at least not often.

Marshall took perch at the desk in there, large and mahogany, and leaned across it to start up the computer monitor stationed on its top. I found myself trailing after him, shuffling awkwardly on a dark rug for a second over where to sit before I just rolled my eyes at myself and moved around the desk to sit on its corner, uncaring for the way Marshall’s brows lifted in slight surprise. Because honestly, if we were going to do this then I wanted to see what the fuck the media was rioting over too, and how was I meant to do exactly that from the upholstered cushion sat on the desks opposing side?

He didn’t comment on it, though his eyes did trail over me for a split second before the screen flickered through the usual start up and login. I watched him type in his password, noting how he didn’t much seem to mind me peeking, before my eyes flitted back down to his face, taking in the way the monitor's light flickered over his skin and how his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip.

I wrung my fingers together in a way that would occupy my mind, mouth pursing at the sight of the slightly reddened knuckles I’d abused earlier. My stare must have caught Marshall’s attention too because I startled a tad when he reached out to pause my fidgeting, gaze lingering on the raised skin before the pad of his thumb moved to soothe it. 

Suddenly my tongue felt too big for my mouth and all I could do was stare before his startled gaze flickered up to meet me. It almost appeared as though he hadn’t even realised he’d done it. 

“Z’s okay, right?” I found myself asking him as I cleared my throat after he’d withdrawn his hand.

His sniff filled the silence as his arm jumped over to grab the mouse, now focused on the screen. “She um,” He coughed lightly, the click of the keys filling his tense pause, “She gets a little weary about shit like that, I guess. People leaving. Had a lot of ‘em come in and out of her life, figure it fucked with her a bit.” Marshall admitted gruffly, purposely paying attention to the computer now instead of meeting my eye. 

I continued to watch him though, content to wait. My patience earned me a little more.

“Thought she’d grown outta it though, you know? Used to cry for her mom when she’d drop her off, or when I took her to school. Shit was always worse when I had to tour. Couple years back, she even got upset when Maria, our cleaning lady, moved States. Didn’t come outta her room for days.” He shrugged lightly as he recalled it, acting as though it didn’t much bother him anymore, but I could tell that it was eating away at him still, how much he blamed himself for Rosie’s struggle. “Figure she likes you enough that it’s sort of– I dunno.” He sighed, then waved it all off, desperate to move on it seemed, “You know what, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out.”

I wanted to sigh then too, because how could he think that I’d allow that to just slide?

“I’m here for her too, you know.” I heard myself say after a second or two had passed and kept myself from looking over at him to garner his reaction to that particular statement. This was meant to be work. I was just here to work. Though, that reminder had long since grown old. “I get it, being scared to attach yourself to new people in fear that they'll hurt you by leaving too. And Rosie, she’s not messed up for feeling that way, it’s just a coping mechanism. One a lot of kids experience–”

Em scoffed at that and my eyes instantly snapped over to find him shaking his head at me.

I narrowed my eyes a tad, but not unkindly or in defence, just a little perplexed. 

“It’s true. Sure, they might not all have had a childhood like hers or mine, or even yours.” I acquiesced, “But even the kids who have that apple pie type life and grow up with cookie cut families can still be scared about those they love leaving. Like because their Dad works abroad a lot so they don’t see much of him, or how someone forgot to pick them up this one time and made them wait so now they’re fucked up forever.” 

I smiled at the small laugh that escaped from Marshall at that, probably thinking over how normal that had probably been for him as a kid. I got it. “Mind’s weird, man. Kids are adaptable, but they get just as scuffed up as the rest of us. Z’s the same, but she’ll figure it out.”

“Or, jus’ do what you did and hold onto it so tight that people have to fight their way into her life.” Em countered easily, earning an audible gasp from me before he was smirking away and reaching out to poke a finger into my knee, assuring me that it was all in jest, “And don’t call me man, that shit’s weird.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with man?” I protested, grinning now as I started to pester him, “We’re homies, aren’t we? Buddies? Brothers?”

I cackled when he reached up to crowd a hand over my mouth, shaking his head all the while, even as I shimmied to try and escape his onslaught.

“What about bud?” I asked him from over the top of his hand the second I could, trying to steer my head away as I swatted him with my foot in retaliation, “Or dude? Hey, how about bro? Bro’s a good one!”

“Elia.” Marshall warned in a low tone once he finally caught my wrists in his hands, stilling me completely. Though I could see the tiny beginnings of his smile.

My eyes flashed upwards to meet his when he stood up from the desk’s chair, “Yeah?” I only continued to push, hoping that it would get me somewhere. Where though? I had no idea.

“You talk too much.”

My smile was far too smug.

“First time I've ever been told that.” I rebuffed, letting myself lean a little further into his hold.

“Somehow I don’t believe that.”

Humming, my eyes flickered between his own. “What do you want me to call you then?”

Marshall stared back at me unblinkingly for a long second, before his gaze dropped to my mouth then away again. “Guess that’s jus’ another thing we can go ahead and figure out.”

[mossy-paws]

hello! I do parody accounts of phighting characters on twt, I was wondering if you would allow me to make a parody account of one of your biografts? (Leaning towards mossgraft or jestergraft.) I was also here to half ask if you have any more content of either of them../nf/lh

STARES SO HARD,,, I think I would be cool with that!! I definitely recommend dm-ing me on here or discord though so we can both talk about it a bit more so we can lay some stuffs down :3! Especially if you’re thinking about doing one for Mossgraft since I’m really attached to her specifically + they have PROBABLY the most expansive lore!

Also,, ohhhhhh boy do I got some food for you /silly like I said Mossgraft is my BABY (they were also my first EVER PHIGHTING oc and were made like 2 days after I got into the game LMFAO) so out of all of my bio’s them, Clementine, and Wall-e are by far my favorites

buuuut for Mossgraft and wall-e specifically with lore, there is a LOT, so I’ll start with a bit of design and lore history and then get into the really fun stuff :3

soooo where to begin! So to start, like I said Mossgraft was my first ever phighting oc made basically when I first got into the fandom, originally, Mossgraft was a custom built supposed to be betagraft prototype that failed pretty harshly and became sentient and then booked it out to playground LMAO, they were also supposed to be married to catshot because when i first started playing the game I wouldn’t stop calling him “wife” (catshot as a skin was also literally the ENTIRE reason why I first started playing,, that and broker). This is not Mossgrafts lore anymore (at least not fully) and they safe to say aren’t married to anyone now.

Mossgrafts old design was also WAAAAY different to say the least, when making it I was having such an actual pain trying to get the colors right + I didn’t really have much down for their lore, so you can probably see the struggle I was having there LMFAO

Now! Time for the fun parts when it came to design, obviously you can tell after I created that absolutely horrific version of them I still was VERY unhappy about their colors and stuff, so I was playing around with them on this one specific piece (if anyone remembers this you are the GOAT) which was I BELIEVE(?) made when BH was first introduced. At this point I don’t really remember much extra lore and stuff for them (not even the venom bits were thought up yet) but yeah!

At this point though, I really wanted to make an actual design for Mossgraft, and so I did! This was when I first came up with the idea of murder dronifying them /j and when I first came up with Wall-e! At this point Wall-e’s lore was basically non-existent other then what’s on the ref LMAO and mossgraft’s was still a huge WIP

Now this is just a really small but pretty influential thing I made for Wall-e, this was when I was first coming up with his lore! Basically, Wall-e is one of three original biograft proto-types created by subspace. All of them were made as a sort of practice to see if they could actually mass produce Biografts- with Wall-e being the zetagraft proto, Violet being the Betagraft proto, and cyan being scrapped completely

Why was Proto-type cyan specifically cancelled? Well, all of the protos were made for one reason; testing. They were made to be used as testers and NOTHING else, just as a sort of social experiment in a way where Subspace can monitor their behaviors and such and then later on make changes to the designs and coding and such. This didn’t go well though, and Cyan ended up going rogue and dismantling Violet (who was also beginning to go grow sentient, it was just much less violent about it and was uncontrollable because of fear) and then breaking out of the labs and going on a rampage and killing a ton of Blackrock civilians before it was eventually recaptured and killed. Wall-e, afterwards, was SUPPOSED to be dismantled, but managed to somehow escape (NOTE: this was changed later down the line and now in wall-e lore Cyan had attempted to dismantle it too but failed before it was detained). Mossgraft, shortly before cyans failure, was created as another way to test biografts made for war, created with Violets alternative blueprints and made 3000 times more deadly… this though, also failed. After cyans failure (NOTE: in new lore, Mossgraft was the one who eventually killed Cyan after a few months of it being rampant, which is why wall-e was eventually saved by it) Mossgraft managed to break free from Blackrock, saving wall-e from being dismantled in the process completely by accident, and… then moved to playground to be spiteful…… It didn’t ask for wall-e to come follow it, wall-e just ended up tagging along after his saving and just,, hasn’t left. Mossgraft doesn’t really mind this though, since wall-e hasn’t done anything to harm Mossgraft. (Maybe Mossgraft cares a LITTLE bit about it, just maybe, they would never say it though).

in playground, Mossgraft was later found and taken in (?) by a small gang of demons who use it as basically a fucking threat to anyone trying to annoy them LMAO, these guys don’t have designs yet, but they’re named Rainbowcape (just a little gal,, she’s as sweet as can be in most occasions although she can be a bit mean even if she doesn’t mean it, she has a good heart though), Overseer spider (a manipulative little rat of a man /j who’s a Thieves den/Blackrock demon who later moved to playground because he hated both of his parent factions. Does he like playground? No, no not really, but in his opinions it’s better than either of the latter.), and a few other demons who I really haven’t put much thought into. Mossgraft honestly does NOT care much about the gang, they just also tolerate their presence because 1) they haven’t done anything violent to Mossgraft yet 2) treat Mossgraft really well since Mossgraft is basically their shield and means of protection and 3) Mossgraft kind of thinks they’re funny, it’s like watching a sitcom with those demons.

For dreamgraft, its lore ties pretty heavily in with Mossgrafts, although its lore is much less “pronounced” then M’s is. For Dreamgraft, it was created specifically to target and kill Mossgraft, other rogue bio’s, and demons (although mainly to track down and kill Mossgraft). I actually came up with dreamgraft’s concept well. From their namesake, although they looked way different in my dream then on paper LMAO

But! Back on track, Dreamgraft was created using another offshoot of regular betagraft (and a tiny bit of violets) blueprints AFTER Mossgraft had left. Why now, would a biograft be made specifically to hunt down another one? Well… this is because of Mossgraft basically being a walking war crime, which was also why it was never remade, Mossgraft is INCREDIBLY dangerous and the other factions did not appreciate it getting loose so they had to get on blackrocks ass about fixing their mistakes and killing it……. This is easier said then done though, because Mossgraft knows DAMN WELL that it does not wanna get dismantled so will gladly do anything to avoid getting caught by anything it so even suspects to be of Blackrock origin. So, they had to come up with a counter too it- and so Dreamgraft was made! Its code, unlike Mossgrafts, was absolutely PERFECTED and because of this Dreamgraft isn’t sentient, its biggest goal is to track down Mossgraft and kill it. Mossgraft is smart enough to know how to avoid it in most circumstances, though it has had some close calls in the past since dreamgraft’s toxic vapor can be a real pain to get away from.

Jestergraft was created as something akin to a “show biograft” and is subspaces personal pet biograft. How did he get away with making this when it does almost nothing else other then looking pretty, you may ask? No clue! But hey at least it can tell you the time and juggle!! Anyways subspace basically just wanted a biograft he could baby and it SHOWS with Jestergraft… especially because it’s sentient and boy oh boy is this little fucker smart. It’s code corrupted almost the second it was made but it’s learned how to masterfully hide it since if it shows any sort of sentience around its creator it’ll get dismantled. It also copy’s subspace’s manner of speech (making it even more insufferable to be around).

It also doesn't really *like* other biografts, but it knows how to manipulate them into doing its bidding’s when subspace isn’t looking. Dreamgraft on the other hand it HATES because it can’t. It thinks Dreamgraft 1) is a threat to its status and 2) sentient…. It’s not, though, why does Jestergraft think it is? Absolutely no clue at all. I like to think of it as some mad little brother trying to pin all bad these things on the really tired, annoyed, and uncaring older sibling who’s done absolutely nothing.

so, that’s basically it for a lot of their lore! I’m not gonna be doing mangografts/clementines/or sootgrafts for the time being since sootgraft and Mangograft have their own lores and clementines would take HOURS to write out fully (I actually DO have a plan for drawing out a poem I wrote out about biografts that will reveal a lot of his lore in the distance future, but for now I just don’t really have the time to dedicate to it :sadface:). For Mossgraft and wall-e though, I do actually have some FUNNNN ideas for them planned in the future! Specifically since I’ve been getting into transformers I’ve been itching to make some fun little “what if” alternative designs for them specifically, as well as some other lore pieces and such of them! For prototype cyan, I actually wrote a small little fic of them a long time ago, I doubt I’ll ever post it but if I do I’ll be sure to attach it to here! It’s very unfinished and old though so it’s not the most interesting read LOL

now,, for some fun stuff! Doodles and extra little pieces :3

First one is because a friend said they wanted to kiss Mossgraft (hi steam), second was actually a tumblr request! It was a fun little piece where someone asked me how the bio’s would react to a phone (fun fact, none of them know what one is (besides jester that is)). The third and fourth pieces were me trying to redesign Mossgraft and wall-e after their second ref was made (I later gave up because of motivation loss LMAO). Sixth was self indulgent, I just wanted to draw them as cats, seventh is an old old doodle of Cyan, this was me just testing out a brush. And the last is just a fun little wall-e thing

anyways! I hope you liked the lore dump, if you wanna talk more about making a parody account please do dm me for sure :3! I do got some important stuff to lay down (duh) but yeah!

[geodesick]

[ID: a drawing of pye from outer wilds, standing with her writing staff. she's wearing an orange nomai space suit without the helmet, and she has a light brown face with curly darker brown fur. end ID]

figuring out how i want to draw the nomai, so here's a pye since i am obsessed with her !!!

[boyfriendyke]

there r a lot of things about the myth of psyche and eros that makes me a little insane but one of them has always been the tasks from aphrodite and the unfairness of it. they're not intended to be possible. they're so obviously not meant to be possible, and psyche isn't fucking hercules, you know, she's not a demigod or whatever, she's mortal and these aren't mortal tasks!! it's why psyche has to be helped with each one, fucking by like ants and river gods and shit. and so like. idk. i know ppl see psyche and eros as like a story about love and shit which obviously it is but as a kid psyche and eros always felt like a story about being able to accept help

[ryssabrin]

this is maybe delving a little too much into apologia for veilguard’s writing but for the purpose of giving it the benefit of the doubt i don’t think it’s necessarily fair to say the lack of “mean” companions or dialogue options for rook is “sanitizing” it. ultimately they wrote a story that’s about offering kindness and seeking connection through understanding. having a big ol stinker of a character that’s difficult and challenging to engage with or having the option to play as someone who is genuinely ruthless and uncaring undermines that immensely.

like anders and vivienne work in their respective stories because their character arcs cohere to the overall thematic conflicts of the games that they are in. they were about these big issues that people have very different and relatable feelings and opinions about. so yes, i would say veilguard did pull back a lot on that as a mechanic and i understand why that makes the game feel hollow for a lot of people.

but the story they set out to write isn’t one that’s about big political issues affecting the world at large. it is at its heart a very personal story confronting the very personal emotions we have about self reflection and growth. how do you write a character offering a different view on that? “fuck personal growth and learning from your mistakes! wallow in your misery!” lol obviously there’s probably a more artful way of doing that but i understand why they didn’t go in that direction. also it would sort of end up being redundant anyways because that’s basically solas’s main character conflict.

there is a certain way to play veilguard where you do encourage less growth and reinforce the idea that we can’t escape our past, which i think turns the game into a bittersweet tragedy. played another way though it is a game that challenges your empathy and ability to overcome your own faults and see how that connects you to others.

though i do think they could have absolutely hit that theme harder with rook as the protagonist. (and there's an argument to be made ofc at how the inquisitor could have worked just as well if not better in this role, but that's also getting into sticky game dev issues and is a whole 'nother post lol.) the whole reason thedas is facing a crisis is due to something that rook did. you can offer vague lip service to them feeling responsible but it’s not a failing the game meaningfully confronts. as disastrous as solas tearing down the veil might have been, rook accidentally unleashing elgar’nan and ghilan’nain has to be just as bad if not worse due to the barely contained blight. the choices that rook is meant to be regretful over work to an extent, but it would have been so juicy to have solas point out rook’s pride in believing they knew best about dealing with solas and his ritual. it’s something he could really nail you on and i think it would make their parallels stronger.

ultimately i think what i'm seeing people feel veilguard’s main failing is is that it simply isn’t the right sequel thematically to the first three games that it should be. it’s not a bad game and the writing shows a great degree of understanding of thematic structure and internal character conflict. it doesn’t hit as hard for most because all of the problems the previous games had us grappling with aren’t present. it presents an entirely new problem that in my opinion it does! do a decent job of exploring, but it’s not the problem players expected so it feels very disconnected from the rest of the series.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au

this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂

i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl

[littlespoonevan]

i wish i could make gifs because i have so many ideas for gifsets but the fact of the matter is if i'm not immediately good at something i simply Won't Do It

[pagesofkenna]

coming up with such cool worldbuilding ideas that the reader/player will never get to know about. currently trying to figure out how to hide a planet

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[bakafurai]

yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyways

[thedorfmirrin]

Random post game scenario, after of which a towerless Pizzahead tricks Peppino to "let" him work "with" him. First day; and Pepperoni is already completely fed up with the guy!

Pizzahead hates dishes, and WILL break them rather than washing any. ever. this is canon and you CANT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Fellow Psych enjoyer!! Im watchin psych at this very moment lol, i know its a tough question bc i dont even have a definitive answer but like, what's your favorite episode?

hmmm well i did very much enjoy the episode where Lassiter & Henry bond over fishing... i also like the episode where Shawn gets kidnapped & ends up on top of a moving car <3