#so i have fever haha🙂

[herefortarlos]

Hi Desi Heard you could use a care package !

🍜🍫🫖☕️🧻💗🌡️💐💊🧸🧦🐶🍈🥐🍯📺

I’m sorry they aren’t real ones I wish I could send you all of these things!

I hope you feel better soon🙂💕

(The toilet paper is for blowing your nose bc there isn’t a Kleenex emoji btw hahahah)

Awwww, thank you, Mar!!! 🥹 Haha, I really wish you could send me the noodles, chocolate and melon 😂 And I love stuffed animals way too much, so the teddy bear too!! Haha and I have been blowing my nose quite a bit 😅 so thanks for that!

This morning I woke up with a fever and took the day off from work, but my fevers been slowly going down. I really hope I don't get my partner sick more than anything and I hope I don't have Covid 😭 because I forgot that's always a possibility now, even with all the vaccines and boosters! I hope that I feel much better tomorrow and I'll probably have someone go out and get me a Covid test tomorrow too, just in case.

This was super sweet to see in my inbox 🥹 Thank you, sweetheart!!! I hope you're healthy and doing well!! 💖🫂

[ezamevolni]

Cryptic: Biggest Concern

Hi!!!

I haven't done a real post in so long TT I miss writing!! I vowed to do some properly this week but forces of the universe are at work to stop me (fever...forgot my hard disk...broke my laptop :')) But I finally got a few days of vacation! YAY! What better to do when sick and free, than to write about Jinkook eh?

So I'm doing a shorter (?) post on something I don't think I've seen many people commenting on. Of course, I could be chronically overthinking if I'm the only one that picked it up? haha. 🙂

JinJunMin~ Making Salad (3.13.2021)

Anyways, this instance is rather loosely connected to Jungkook 🧚🏼‍♀️

For context and relevancy: BTS were frequently doing unit Vlives after they were grounded since the start of 2020. They had less public activities so 'prescheduled' Vlives were an avenue for them to see fans, and for fans to see them. Sometimes the Vlives were fun because the members were absorbed into doing the activity of the day, other times it's fun when they find camaraderie in their shared reluctance to be there.

This salad making session demonstrated the latter - Jin already ate before the live, Minimoni were not salad fans so this trio by all means were just attending as part of their jobs. Happy to be there? That's asking too much lol.

For more specific context, the trio had been on the verge of an argument fallen into silence several times and were giving each other a hard time randomly jumping from topic to topic throughout the live.

When Jin was sarcastically hyping up the plate of chicken breast to the camera, RM abruptly decided to ask him how he had been doing.

The question seemed to stump Jin for a few moments,

Jin was stuttering, stalling, and racking his brain for something to say, then eventually landed on a work schedule as his answer. Then Jimin and Namjoon both chimed in about how they've been practicing for Grammys and actually saw each other the day before.

An assumption on my part, but Jin likely first thought about the section of his life that Namjoon didn't know about - off-work hours - and was filtering through for what he could talk about. I think gaming could have been a great answer. But Jin was caught off-guard, so I don't know if that affected his fibbing skills.

It could be something or could be nothing.

But the following in the middle of the live was quite the interesting convo:

The conversation had stopped and started a few times by now and Jin was filling in by talking about something salad related.

He brought up how some of the other members had salad recently.

Namjoon was paying close attention to what Jin was saying because he parroted him when he listed "Yoongi" and "Jungkookie"

RM: (nodding and repeating) "...Jungkookie."

And after a brief second of contemplation, Namjoon went ahead and asked, "Hyung, don't you have any concerns lately?"

Jin seemed to immediately know what he was referring to and answered, "For concerns, there's just the one thing."

Jimin seemed in the know about this as well.

Humming in agreement, nodding and suppressing a grin.

By now Jin had laid down his chopsticks. I think he knew what Joon was referring to. It was a pretty vague question, but it seemed like it had a pointed answer.

However since Jin didn't elaborate, Namjoon probed further.

If you've watched enough BTS interviews, you'd know the signs instantly whenever they all simultaneously think of something they can't say on camera and start smiling like weirdos.

Jin was still chewing but he was gearing up. He's about to say it.

As he went, "Of course," ...

that was met with instant censorship from Jimin ("Let's just stop, hyung").

I also noticed Namjoon's knowing expressions while he was waiting and listening:

Annnnnd of course, we don't get the real answer from Jin who said,

"I don't have Army in front of me during concerts."

Joon was laughing after hearing the line. Jimin also hadn't looked at the camera once since this conversation started.

And we know Jin just lied improvised a new answer because he retorted back at Joon,

There is another answer. There is another 'concern'.

He almost said it 🤌🏼 Just let it all go and say it Seokjin.. what's there to hide 😩

After Jin gave his answer, RM decided not to probe further since he knew the nature of that other answer. It can't be said anyway. So they agreed on 'armys not being there in person as a very important concern'.

And Jin of course turned the tables on Joon when he could

Ok, whatever this 'concern' was, it's very specific and I guess RM also had a similar ongoing issue that Jin knew about?

So to recap:

Jin mentioned Yoongi and Jungkook's names, Namjoon heard, repeated Jungkook's name and suddenly posed the question 'any recent concerns'.

Jin did have a major one which apparently everyone (but us) knew about. And it can't be said on camera. And the thought of it makes them giggle.

Lastly, RM seemed to have a similar concern.

So 🙂 I don't have an answer for what the mystery concern is, but I do have ideas. They are probably similar to your ideas right now. Or maybe we all have no idea.

But wouldn't it be funny if one of us was right ;)

Ultimately, if you want any take aways from this cryptic conversation, is that they tend to giggle a lot whenever they touch on topics related to ermhmm, taboo topics. It's not sad, dark or serious, but taboo. What else could it be.

[alpona]

Geats episode 11 liveblog:

- Tsumuri doing the recap again.

Ace's play pretend is getting so annoying ahaha...

- wah, game master directly addresed Ace's ulterior motive with this wish!

- Woah!! Ace's current wish is to BE DGP staff?!!  Yayy! Going step by step, full on with the 'investigate DGP to it's core' , go Ace-kun!

- yes, you and I both Ace-kun, DGP mystery is very interesting!

- yep Tsumuri knows about punkjack. But she's more likely unaware of DGP's darker side, or got her memory erased.

- Time to admit, I usually start skipping the opening after few episodes, but I wasn't able to do so in Geats yet. Congrats!

- Hello again Keiwa-kun! Ah, depressed Keiwa is so real it hurts...

- wow, it's as if the phrase 'wish the ground could swallow me up' became literally true 😂

- long story? Yes we're here to listen to Neon's father's backstory.

- oh hello bodyguards-san!

- important question time! Yes, why couldn't you, Ace-kun?

- Neon understands Ace's personality so well, *cries in human emotions*

- 😯 woaaahh!! The desire card can just glitch and literally reject a wish!! A seemingly simpler wish like finding someone...

Huhuhu the bigger mystery with Ace's mother intensifies!

- Maybe she won and made a wish not to be found, or she's the real villain this season muhuhaha! (Typical rider parent issues)

- oho, very main character like determination you're showing Ace-kun 😌

- through the rabbit hole! This scene is funny! And enjoy Ace-kun falling in style

- oh now we have alternate dimensions too? Alright cool, sure *more theories*

The place is beautiful btw.

- this is how Keiwa meets the others... So he's gonna accidentally touch a core ID and remember everything very soon I guess.

- Ace immediately teaming up with someone his age. Yes. I just called him a (2000 year old) child. Yes I did. 🙂😂

- Jamato riders! Yes I've seen the scans before, not gonna act surprised. From some pics though, I actually thought Keiwa was going to become a Jamato rider, hehe😄.

Their buckle design is pretty by the way.

- Metal Thunder is very useful. Really liking the beat buckle.

- Jamato riders are quite scary.

- unapproved things??! HUH! So you're admitting to be the evil behind these games openly now, Game master?

- 🤯 whoa... The... wa..i.... What did we just see!

Breaking news!!! DGP harvests Jamato thingies in a greenhouse!!! Wahahaha! Muhuhahaha!! (Ok why is it ME who's laughing like the villain?! Why am I so excited with this reveal 🤣)

What's this, mini hellheim from Gaim?

- we could all tell DGP being responsible, but I would've never thought of everything growing on trees lol

- And core IDs are like.. wait those are the broken IDs.. so those are the... seeds? Then jamatos are born from those? so jamatos indeed, in a way, ARE the dead players? oooo no....

- And we have a mad scientist who isn't following the boss's orders propertly.

- this now fits with the Jamatos plant like designs, and the growth/evolve aspect too. makes sense.

- so everything's very natural and organic yay 🥴

- Neon And Ace deciding to investigate kurama papa.

It's really nice how characters are directly talking to each other to solve things here!

- Whaaa, so people even lose the desire they wrote down of the lose!! I totally didn't see this coming. And I thought Keiwa was just in his depressed stage. Me trying to be understanding when there was no need, ok, back to being ruthless.

- It's grandpa's time to die.. I mean shine... Well, obviously to dieee...

- fever buckle. so fever buckle can double the power of each buckle, so fever boost is also boost boost, or boostX2 or double boost... ( What nonsense am I even saying?)

- it's like Boost saying 'get yourself together!' to Keiwa-kun lol. Let's not forget the real protagonists haha

- granpa survived this episode! Wah! He's a nice guy.

Very interesting episode. Next week, looks like Tycoon will be back!

[foxymoxynoona]

Hiii hello. Sorry I didn’t send anything about flux, I wanted to sooo bad but I got covid (this is now my third day of fever☺️), lost a really close relative in the span of like 12 hours and I’m in pain cause I’m about to get my period sooo my concentration is stagnant: level 0🙂. Everything is pretty much hurting like a bitch but don’t worry I read as soon as it came out and OF COURSE I sent it to 🌚 and we started arguing again. (Btw she knows everything because even tho she’s still at the beginning I was tired of not having anyone to vent to so I literally told her every single detail that made me go crazy lol).

Let’s start off by saying I’m like 50% satisfied? Wtf jk? Nothing more to say? Sure? Never took a pill in Ibiza? Alright that’s gonna be a fun conversation, just saying☺️. I swear with this guy it’s like one step forward and 10 steps back. Also jungkook got MAD, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry towards her before. Should I say justified? Eeh I mean he never expressed how he actually felt regarding the Seojoon thing so for him to explode at some point was to be expected. I mean he got mad like at the beginning when the whole Lasagna Gate happened in her apartment but I don’t know, it hits different now.

Also, dr Kim I have a crush on you and the emotional stability you provide. You’re doing god’s work, truly. Even if you make me feel bad for defending Sasha because the rational side of me knows how there is no right or wrong in *most* situations here and everything is on a spectrum buuuut my irrational side is like fuck everything hug Sasha. A week ago we were talking about this in my group chat and I said “I think I empathize this much with her because we share some toxic traits so I try to find justification in her” and my friends (including 🌚) said “you think we’d let you to all the self sabotaging shit Sasha does? Don’t you dare, ESPECIALLY if you’re hooking up with Jeon Jungkook. You’re our key to become millionaires and you think we’d let that go to waste??” So loving and caring, my friends.

By the way I loove the discord channel, that was a great idea. I just need to figure out the time zones so i can text when everyone is awake😵‍💫

🌸

NOooooooooooo! I am so sorry! You have so many terrible things going on at once! I'm so sorry for your lost most of all; hopefully you'll be over the worst of covid soon. 💟💟💟

I hope the Flux drama a mental and emotional distraction when you needed it! Get wrapped up in their drama but rest in your own life 😢

I don't see why you would nee to feel bad about defending Sasha, though! Do you mean overall or in this specific instance?

It's been interesting reading commetns because I think we're all just so primed to be like "ok who was most right" in any situation we read, but I intentionally write really gnarled ones where there isn't usually some villain with an evil plan lol. I think too we were all so excited for Jungkook to finally speak up about some things we know he's been holding onto that we've forgotten he made that choice to not speak up about them in the first place and that doesn't excuse his behavior, even if it explains it. He can't hide his feelings and then when it's a convenient defense, finally let them erupt! Even if that's very human to do haha. Like if my kid kicks his brother, he can't just tell me "but he kicked me first" and I say oh ok, you're good to go then. Or even "he called me a poop head three days ago," "ah, got it baby, take him down then." 🤣

As much as we may want a partner to read our mind and notice when we are hurt, it's not fair to expect that and we need to communicate those things if we expect change. Now there are things they've argued about before that might still be happening, so I'm not saying this is just a wash in Sasha's direction either! That's why I had suggested in some other asks, it's really probably best to take things one at a time rather than trying to balance out some grand summation --not just because there are things on both sides, but because even though the context and cause behind things may be cumalitive, that doesn't mean the resulting actions were the mature/right ones. The mature relationship skill isn't to hold onto those things until you've hurt your partner and then whip them all out to deflect. I don't know that he was consciously doing that, but it's not that different actually than what everyone was mad at Namjoon doing. "Forget about X, she did Y so she's not allowed to be mad about Z."

Anywayyyy this is fun and tangled and I suspect mrelationship conselors would be salivating over this scenario LOL. But I'm glad you have friends who are looking out for you and your relationship with JK, even if it's so they can piggyback on your wealth 😂

I hope you get to feeling better soon and my best warm vibes go out to your family, I hope that isn't lessened by the goofy fic talk in the iddle of this ask.

[whumpmatsus]

Yesterday I took the second coronal vaccine, totally fine until I woke up at 3:30 am feeling like shit, no one was home and I didn't know how to take care of myself so I just took a fever' medicine and tried to go back to sleep, was cring while calling mommy.

my fever dropped down yet I still feel the pain killing me and I have to go to school.

Now I want one of the brothers to feel my pain 🙂

awwww I'm sorry you went through that, hun! my second vaccine I was similar, feeling fine until I woke up in the middle of the night all nauseous and congested, thankfully I'd taken off of work for a couple days in advance in case I got side effects

I was almost normal by the end of the day though, it sucks you were still feeling bad and had stuff to do! this got sent like two weeks ago so I certainly hope you're feeling better now and you weren't miserable too long <3

... I decided on Osomatsu bc I've been feeling them Oso girl vibes lately, plus he's sooooo much a mama's boy it seemed to fit haha

I also decided to use side effects for the flu shot instead of the COVID vaccine, just because I'm uncomfy using current events in my fictional writings, but the gist is still the same

I may have taken a few liberties with the side effect symptoms, but hey, it's different for everyone, right? it's also funny that all the brothers got hit by one symptom worst, but poor Oso got hit by all of them XD

there's some Allmatsu slipped in here, but also Matsuyo babying her oldest boy a bit!

hopefully you enjoy your Oso suffering, I loved writing it!!! =)

-

Being alone in the house for once, it’s a miracle that Osomatsu was able to sleep at all.

When he wakes up, the clock blinking at him that it’s sometime around 3 in the morning, he almost forgets that he’s by himself, until he feels that the rest of the futon is empty. Everything trickles back pretty quickly ― why none of his brothers are around tonight.

Choromatsu is at an idol convention that’s pretty far out of town. Karamatsu is staying at a local hotel for a few days’ worth of music performances. Jyushimatsu is away for a week visiting Homura at her parents’ house in the country. Totty’s having a grown-up sleepover at a friend’s place. And Ichimatsu volunteered for an overnight shift at the animal shelter because one of the cats he’s been looking after wound up there.

For the record, there’s very little Osomatsu hates more than being all by himself in the futon. Even though it gives him a chance to spread out and sleep however he likes, it makes him feel lonely. He’d rather be huddled up with everyone than have all this empty space.

To make things worse, when he wakes up alone, he wakes up feeling like shit.He remembers not really drinking that much last night, so it can’t be a hangover… but… he did just get his yearly flu vaccine yesterday afternoon. The pharmacy tech who gave him the shot warned him that he might feel a little bad the next day or so, like he has a weak version of the flu. Annnnd… he’s pretty sure there was a sheet that was given to him that explained benefits, possible side effects, and a list of things that he should go to the doctor if he experienced.

Although he can’t remember where he put that paper, he’s sure that’s why he’s feeling so crappy right now.

The area of his arm where he got injected is stiff, and trying to move it makes him want to cry. There are aches creeping out into the rest of his body, including his head pounding. His stomach is swirling with nausea as soon as he sits up, and for a brief moment he’s convinced he’s going to be sick.

After he puts a hand against his forehead to try and will it to quit hurting, his palm comes back damp with sweat. Shit… do I have a fever? That’s no good either; fevers always make him feel vaguely panicky and uncomfortable in the most horribly nonspecific way.

“Mmm… Mom…?” he calls, but his voice comes out sounding hoarse and raspy. It hurts to talk, so he doesn’t think he can raise his voice more than this. “… Mom?”

Usually if one of the sextuplets calls for their mom, Matsuyo hears them and is in their bedroom only a moment later. At the very least, she calls back that she’s coming. Instead, the house is completely silent. It’s borderline eerie, especially to Osomatsu’s foggy mind.

Then it hits him; their parents are away, too. They went on vacation for a few days, just a short trip to rekindle their romance. So… he really is all by himself right now.

To try and keep himself calm, he does his best to breathe, except as soon as he starts to focus on it, he realizes his nose is plugged. Ughhh. He sniffles for a minute, seeing if he can get a good breath in. It’s kind of hopeless.

Okay, okay… breathe through your mouth then, dumbass. Don’t get all worked up. Just… fuck. Think about what you’d do if one of your brothers woke you up feeling like shit. How would you take care of them?

… It’s hard. Even though he could take care of someone else, it’s infinitely more difficult when he’s the one trying to take care of himself. His brain is all clouded and despite the fact that he knows it’s not serious, he’s probably not actually sick, he feels so terrible it’s making every idea a struggle.

He can’t call any of his brothers. They’re all out enjoying their own things… what kind of awful person would spoil his little brothers’ good times like that?

With that being said, he’s not really sure how to take care of himself. The only other options available are to go back to sleep, which he’s certain he can’t do at the moment, or… call his mom.

Although he hates to interrupt his parents’ vacation like this, he’s got his phone and is dialing Matsuyo’s number before he knows it. He won’t keep her awake for too long, just long enough to get some advice on what to do. She’s the only one he’s really okay with seeing or hearing him be really vulnerable, because even though he’s the oldest of her children… she’s still his mother.

Still, he can’t help but feel just a little guilty when her tired voice comes crackling through the phone. “Osomatsu?”

His arm is sore, so he puts the phone on speaker and sets it down on his lap. “Hi, Mom. Sorry I woke you up.”

“No, no, don’t worry. It’s okay.” She must hear the fatigue and congestion in his voice, because it sounds like she immediately perks up. “Is everything alright?”

The way her voice is already laced with concern makes his throat tighten. He woke her up in the middle of the night, when she was trying to sleep, on vacation, and she doesn’t even sound mad. He blinks away hot tears that have welled up fast, and they have nowhere to go except to drip down his cheeks. “I don’t feel good,” he croaks, reaching up to rub at his eyes.

Damn. What kind of stupid baby am I, crying over this…?

If it’s at all possible, Matsuyo’s voice softens even more. “Ah, honey. Are you sick? Do you need Dad and I to come home?”

“N-no!” His response is instant and visceral, though it probably sounds pathetic because he’s starting to cry. “I… I don’t think it’s… that bad. I just… I woke up and I… I’m all… my arm hurts, and I’ve got a really bad headache, I’m sweating and shivering at the s-same time, my stomach hurts…”

“Oh, dear.” She clicks her tongue. “… Hm. You and your brothers got your flu shots yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s probably why you’re not feeling well. Are you having any trouble breathing?”

“I-I mean… only ‘cause my nose is stuffy. I can still breathe through my mouth and it’s not… like… I can breathe.”

“Are you dizzy or weak?”

He has to pause for a second to figure how to answer that. “N-no… not really. Just kind of… achy.”

“Are you running a temperature?”

“I… I dunno. I think, maybe.”

“Okay, well, if you think you are, you should probably go check it to make sure it’s not too high. Do you want me to stay on with you while you do that?”

“Y-yeah… I guess. I just…” It takes all his strength to get to his feet, and his headache is still pounding away once he does. At least his sinuses clear up a bit when he’s standing. “I know I take care of my brothers all the time… but… I-I don’t… I don’t really know how to take care of myself when I don’t feel good…”

Matsuyo sighs softly. “Oh, Osomatsu, sweetie. That’s normal. It’s harder to take care of yourself than it is to take care of someone else; sometimes you don’t think right when you aren’t feeling well. Go take your temperature, and we’ll go from there, alright?”

“Okay…”

Getting to the bathroom is kind of a battle. Every part of his body just feels so heavy, and he keeps wanting to fall asleep right against the wall. By the time he gets into the bathroom and turns the light on, he’s drained from the walk.

Trying to open the medicine cabinet, he gets a glimpse of himself in the mirror and has to cringe. He just looks shitty ― pale and sweaty, his face flushed like it’s been barely kissed by the fever, eyelids drooping with exhaustion. He looks like some kind of hilarious caricature of a sick person on a Saturday morning cartoon.

Everything rattles in the cabinet for a moment before he finds the thermometer, and gives it a brief rinse before sticking it in his mouth.

He continues to make small noises of discomfort the whole time, and Matsuyo continues to offer gentle coos of encouragement. Finally the damn thing beeps, prompting him to pull it out.

“Osomatsu? What does it say, honey?”

“Mmh, it’s, uh…” The bleariness from being so tired forces him to squint at the screen. “37.8.”

When his mother speaks, she sounds relieved, which makes him feel a little better. “Oh, that’s not too bad. Anything under 38 is low-grade, which combined with everything else means you’re probably just feeling some side effects from the shot. The fever is what’s making you feel bad more than anything, I’d guess.”

He tears off a square of toilet paper to wipe away the leftover tears, still incredulous over the fact that something so simple and dumb made him cry. “So… what do I do? I mean… can I take anything?”

“Of course. If you can manage it, have a few crackers and take two paracetamol, alright? That should keep the fever from making you too uncomfortable.”

“… Ugh.” The thought of food right now isn’t really what he wants to hear. “Do I… have to eat anything?”

“Aaah, I know your tummy is a little upset, but… taking painkillers on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea, sweetheart. It might not get absorbed correctly, and it might make you more nauseous.”

Well… he supposes when she puts it that way, he should just suck it up and have a couple crackers, then. “Okay. Should I do anything else, or…?”

She hums in thought. “I can’t think of much else that would help. Taking the medicine and trying to go back to sleep is your best bet. You can put the hot water bottle on your tummy, if you want. Just make sure it’s not too hot. And you can put a cold cloth on your forehead if you feel warm. Rest will help you more than anything, I think.”

“Okay… I guess you’re right. I just don’t feel good, Mom.” He knows he’s said that several times already, and it sounds so babyish,but he can’t really think of how else to express it.

“Oh, honey, I know. Do you want me to stay up with you for a little bit? I don’t know if a lullaby will work over the phone, but, I can give it a try.”

He shakes his head even though he knows she can’t see it. “No… I’ll be okay. I’m just gonna… eat some crackers and take those pills and lie down. You should go back to sleep, too.”

She chuckles. “Don’t you dare worry about me. I’ll be back out as soon as my head hits the pillow. Are you sure?”

“Yeah… I’m gonna go try to just… take care of myself.”

“Okay, sweetheart. But you call me again if you need anything, alright?”

“Mhm, I will. Thanks for helping me.”

“Of course, my poor boy. Try to get some sleep. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom. Night.”

Once he hangs up, the house feels too quiet again. It reminds him of those horror movies where someone wakes up in the middle of the night and starts walking around and the monster sneaks up on them without any noise and before they know it, the monster’s got them.

So begins the long trek downstairs after he puts the thermometer away and gets the paracetamol from the cabinet. Now he can’t ever tease Totty again for being afraid of the dark and monsters and all that shit, because he has to peer around the stairway to make sure something isn’t waiting for him at the bottom of the steps.

Thankfully, when he opens the fridge, he discovers a couple bottles of some off-brand sports drink; his mind dredges up a memory of Jyushimatsu telling him a while ago that those are good for sick people. That stuff keeps you hydrated and helps settle your stomach.

So he manages to get two pills swallowed, then forces a handful of senbei crackers into his mouth. Even though they don’t taste good, he’s crossing his fingers that it’ll keep him from feeling too sick from the medicine.

Even the kitchen is too lonely. He takes the rest of the bottle with him, just in case he wakes up again and needs a sip of something to be able to go back to sleep.

Being faced with the empty futon once more makes him almost burst into tears. Seeing nobody in it makes his stupid mind see everyone in it, like they all should be, squished up against each other. He can imagine Ichimatsu at the very end, pretending he’s not cuddling up to Karamatsu. And Choromatsu near the other end, being a good sport about Jyushimatsu curling up against him. And of course Totty right there next to Osomatsu, snuggling against his oldest brother for warmth on a chilly fall night.

He lowers himself down into the futon, but doesn’t actually go horizontal. The phone trembles in his hand, and he can’t stop himself.

-

“Mmmh, Osomatsu-nii-san?”

“Hey, Totty. U-uh… sorry… I probably woke you up, huh?”

“It’s okay. Actually, I’m… I’m kind of glad somebody called. I don’t wanna embarrass myself by waking up my friends, but… i-it’s kind of dark and I have to pee… I know you can’t actually come over, but just talking to you would be enough. Could you maybe… stay on while I go?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I’ve got nothing better to do than listen to you take a piss in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, haha, so funny. I’ll be fast. Hey… is everything okay? You sound all stuffy.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Just… flu shot side effects making me feel crummy. Everyone else got theirs yesterday too, so I just… thought I’d check on you guys since I woke up feeling like shit.”

“Huh. Well, I feel okay. My arm’s a little sore, but beyond that I’m good.”

“Good.”

“Aaaah, okay, I’m done now. Can you stay on while I walk back to the other room?”

“Yeah, no worries. I hope you can get back to sleep pretty fast.”

“Ugh, me too. It was hard to go back to sleep with my arm hurting and being too scared to go pee. Thanks for checking on me.”

“Hey, what else are big brothers for?”

“Mmh, thanks anyway, though. Goodnight, Osomatsu-nii-san.”

“Night, Totty. Sweet dreams.”

-

“Aaaah, Osomatsu… yaaaawn… is everything alright, dear brother?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine, Kara. I just… miss you guys, since it’s just me in the house. I woke up and… forgot I was all by myself, pfft.”

“Hmph. I suppose I understand that. In my case, I do not believe I’m sleeping as well as I might with the rest of you. So at least it isn’t just you feeling that way.”

“Yeah… ha, that makes me feel a little better. Uh, how are your gigs going so far?”

“Oh? Are you interested? Well, surprise of surprises, the crowd gave me a standing ovation tonight!”

“Yeah, really? Damn, look at you. Better not have flirted with any pretty girls without me.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t dream of it, brother. Are you doing alright otherwise? You sound a bit off.”

“Mh, no big deal. Just the flu shot making me feel like shit. You’re not feeling too bad?”

“I believe I had a low fever earlier, but by the time I came back to my room, it had broken. You have my thanks for checking on me, however. And I sincerely hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks, Kara. Hey, I’ll let you get back to sleep now; you need rest for your next gig tomorrow.”

“Haha! Why, I wouldn’t say you’re wrong. Goodnight, brother.”

“Night, Kara. Sleep tight.”

-

“Hey, shitty eldest. Are you really still awake?”

“Ouch, what a greeting. Right through my heart, Ichimacchan. Nah, I was sleeping, but I woke up. I was trying to get back to sleep… it’s just kind of… y’know, lonely over here.”

“Oh. Yeah, you’re the only one in the house, huh?”

“Yeahhh, it sucks. I just woke up and I was like, ‘shit, where are all my baby brothers?’ Pff.”

“Yeah, I get it. I’d come home if I could, but I’ve gotta take care of Fern right now.”

“No, no, it’s all good. How’s she doing?”

“Better than the last time I saw her. At least she’s eating now. She keeps hissing at anyone who gets close except for me.”

“Pffff… guess she’s copying you.”

“Tch, go die, Osomatsu. Actually, it sounds like you’re pretty close to it right now. You good?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. The fucking flu shot, you know?”

“Ouch, don’t even mention that. My head was about to split in half earlier.”

“Shit. You doing better now?”

“Yeah, it finally went away. Hopefully you feel better soon, too. Listen, I gotta go now ― Fern’s scratching at me for a little more food.”

“Oh, right, no problem. Go take care of her. And, uh, take some sleep if you can get it so you don’t pass out tomorrow.”

“I’ll do my best. If not, I’m napping on top of you tomorrow. Night, Osomatsu.”

“Count on it! See you tomorrow, Ichimacchan.”

-

“Heyyyyy, Osomatsu-nii-san!! You woke me up and the phone ringing almost woke up Homura-chan. Is everything okay???”

“Oh… oh, yeah, sorry, Jyushi. Everything’s fine. I didn’t mean to wake you up and almost wake her. I just wanted to call and… see how you were doing.”

“… Hah??”

“I’m all alone in the house… I guess I miss all my little brothers. Choro has some nerd shit going on, Kara’s doing gigs, Totty’s at a friend’s place, and Ichi’s at the animal shelter with one of his cats… and you’re all the way out in the country. Plus Mom and Dad went on vacation. So…”

“Oh. So you’re just lonely ‘cause you’re alone. And you woke up and felt bad so you called me?”

“Yeah… I’m calling the others too. Just… just, you know, checking up on everybody. Sorry, I didn’t think about that you’re probably sleeping in the same bed as Homura-chan…”

“It’s okay! Maybe if she wakes up we’ll go for round two, haha.”

“Jyushi! You sly asshole, saying something like that to me, pffff. You’re bad. You’re… having fun, though, right?”

“Yeah, loads of fun. It’s great out here in the country. Homura-chan’s family even has a dog! Are you okay? You sound funny.”

“Uh? Oh, yeah. I’m just feeling a little crappy from the flu shot.”

“Ohhhh. That’s right, we all got that before I left yesterday. I’m kinda sore too, but it’s getting better. I hope it doesn’t last too much longer for you. Maybe since it woke you up now, it’ll be gone when you wake up for real!”

“Maybe. I hope so. Mannn… okay, Jyushi, I’m gonna let you get back to cuddling with Homura-chan, okay? Enjoy the rest of your visit.”

“Hahahhh, thanks, Osomatsu-nii-san. And you can call me again too, if you want! Maybe during the day next time. Nighty night.”

“Night, Jyushi. Sweet dreams.”

-

“Mmmf… Osomatsu? If you’re calling me, someone better be dead or dying.”

“Ahah, or what, Fappymatsu?”

“Or I will reach through this phone and strangle you like we’re in a B-list horror movie.”

“Ouchhhh, you’re worse than Ichimacchan; at least he didn’t threaten me. Are you really that cranky that I woke you up?”

“Yes, because I was having trouble getting to sleep and I just started drifting off when my phone rang. If you don’t give me a good reason in the next thirty seconds, Karamatsu becomes my oldest brother.”

“Geez, okay, okay. Sorry, you grump. I just wanted to check on you guys. I woke up feeling like shit thanks to the flu shot from yesterday, and I… wanted to make sure it wasn’t making you guys feel crappy too.”

“I’m fine, Osomatsu. I mean, I felt a little queasy earlier in the night, but it passed. You, on the other hand, sound like death warmed over. You should hang up and get some sleep. Can we not leave you alone for five minutes?”

“Heh. Guess not. Sorry I woke you up. You should get back to sleep too.”

“… Osomatsu. Wait. Did… did you call everyone else, too? You seriously just wanted to make sure we were okay?”

“Uh-huh. Well… well, I guess I’m a little lonely, too. I mean, I woke up and the futon was empty and I just… felt like I should check on all of you. I’m the big brother. So… I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Well… thanks, I guess. Sorry I snapped at you, but, I’m tired. Don’t worry too much, okay? I’m a little anxious, being so far from home overnight… I miss all of you too. But it’ll be fine. Try some breathing exercises… if you can do that, sometimes it helps you relax enough to fall asleep.”

“I’ll try. Thanks, Choro-chan. I’m glad you’re doing okay. You try those exercises too, yeah? I want you to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for checking on us, Osomatsu. You’re not a bad big brother sometimes. Get some rest, okay? I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Night, Choro-chan. Sleep well.”

-

When Osomatsu puts his phone down, far enough away that he probably won’t roll onto it in his sleep, he feels a lot better.

Not that he doesn’t still feel crappy, but his headache is starting to fade, and the anxiety he felt about being away from his brothers has calmed down substantially. It means that hopefully he’ll be able to get back to sleep.

He lies down on one side, rubbing at his eyes to get rid of the tears that started up again. The blanket is pulled up, so tightly around him that it almost mimics being hugged. With any luck, he’ll be out in a few minutes so he doesn’t have the chance to panic at the sounds of the house settling or the noises outside or anything like that.

As he closes his eyes and does his best to breathe rhythmically through his mouth, he curls his knees up to his chest.

He still feels lonely.

Everything will be better tomorrow.

[gatual]

.