#so i guess... they HAVE to stick together for the foreseeable future... it's the only outcome that makes sense....!

[bluecatwriter]

Hmmm, Director's Cut on Butcher-work?

Thanks so much for the ask! I have a lot of Feelings about this one. :)

(The fic in question.)

CW for description of blood/injury below:

-This fic was directly inspired by Re: Dracula, because the scene with Van Helsing staking the Weird Sisters was just. so horrifying. I loved the way that Alan Burgon voiced the part, as well as the sound design that emphasized just how gruesome it was. This is no triumphant killing; we believe Van Helsing when he says, "Oh, my friend John, but it was butcher-work." I listened to it, and had to take a break afterward, and my first thought was, "Oh man, he is gonna have some trauma about this," and this fic was born.

-As long as I was having Van Helsing deal with trauma, I figured that he should also have some deep lingering regrets about how he handled Lucy's situation. Although he doesn't admit to doing wrong, I think it's noteworthy that he treats Mina very differently than he does Lucy— there is no yeeting Jonathan away from Mina's side, for instance— which indicates to me that his attitude toward vampires changed as he gained more knowledge, and it just made sense that he would second-guess how he acted when he was first trying to aggregate all his fragments of knowledge about vampires.

-A dream sequence seemed the best way to explore his doubts and trauma in a vivid way, so I settled on the most dramatic setting possible. I was a bit inspired by fairerforafleck's excellent fic "There is Some Fascination," although their setting is even cooler than mine!

-The image of Lucy looking up at him innocently while he brushes aside her hair to place the stake over her heart was one of the earliest moments I thought of when brainstorming. I made myself very sad thinking about it. :(

-"She screamed. Blood hit him like the slap of an ocean wave, salty and bright, and in an instant blood welled up from the floor and rose, knocking him off his feet. He fell into the rising tide, drowning as he felt his own body flying apart, limbs rent from their sockets, chest cracking open, entrails spilling out. Blood in his throat, his guts, his eyes, blood dissolving the cells of his body like acid, blood so thick it was impossible to tell where sensation ended and the scream began." I figure that if you're gonna go with the nightmare imagery, you might as well go hard. When I write a paragraph like this, I draft it with the weirdest, most intense imagery I can think of, throwing together associations even if they don't make sense, and in a later draft I sort through them and pick out the ones that I like the most. Oftentimes phrases that seem nonsensical at first glance end up being the most evocative. (I am very much a "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" writer.)

-Even though Jack/Van Helsing isn't the point of the fic, I knew that I wanted someone to be there for him when he woke up; I think there's nothing worse than waking up alone from a nightmare. So I put Jack in there; he can't fix anything or bring any closure, but he's still there, and that still counts for something.

-"Art gets these dreams too, John told him once. Perhaps it is just the price to pay for rescuing a soul in such a manner." Someday I am gonna write a Van Helsing & Arthur fic where they either bond or clash (not sure which) over the shared experience of staking a vampire. Meanwhile Jack is holding fast to his conviction that Van Helsing made the right decision, because he can't emotionally handle it if VH is wrong.

-In the end, Jack asks if there is not any peace for Van Helsing to find, and he answers, "There is not." I wanted to capture the feeling of being caught in a trauma that feels like it will never end; there is no way to find peace in the foreseeable future, and the trauma can only be borne in the meantime. Usually when I write hurt I write comfort to go along with it, but I left the ending a bit raw and unfinished.

-The last two lines are, "Moonlight bathing them in silver. His chest aching with tears he could not shed." I liked the play of visual and tactile detail and the unfinished feeling of it all, emphasized by the sentence fragments.

Thanks again for the ask, I really enjoyed picking this apart!

(Ask game here)

[hallasimss]

— surprise 모두 기립 박수 (hala, hala) | ( 🎧 ) ( an introduction. click photos for better quality. )

it's patch day, everything has gone to sh*t for those who don't play vanilla (read: me, i refuse to update until my essential mods are back in working order) and somehow i figured this was well overdue since i've been mostly lurking in the community and spam liking (plus i uh. may be lacking in simblrs to follow). time to stop being creepy and make sure the rest of you know who i am sksksksk

* about me, or; an overview.

halla. non-binary, they/she/xe, they/them preferred. bi/pan. xviii. neurodivergent. afro-carribbean with south asian ancestry. islamic christian and religious pluralist. tired high school senior, video editor/translator volunteer and k-pop/indian cinema stan in their free time. (mostly) wcif friendly, stick to the inbox when inquiring. (if i see you in the comment section it's going to be very hard not to convince me to soft block you i'm sorry) currently tracking #hallasimss. follow from my main @theinfinitedivides.

* what to expect.

mostly cas and lookbook edits since i suck ass at sticking to legacy gameplay—will try to share shots here and there from my current playthrough, but do not be surprised if three months in there's another sim that is getting the main spotlight instead of the one before them. also trying my hand at converting a few illustrations into cas tattoos for personal use, so we'll see how it goes on the cc end

* where to find me.

i don't want to make it seem like i'm chronically online but i am chronically online in a way? if you can't catch me here or on my main you'll most likely find me on my pinterest or the deepest recesses of mydramalist if you're lucky and i'm back in my k-drama phase voluntarily (no, i'm not leaking my username. take a wild guess and tell me if you're right). discord invites are for mutuals only—otherwise, stalk me on spotify to get a glimpse into my mental health!!! you will however be asking yourself why i have a specific song on loop for six hours and i will not be able to answer that

* simblrs i recommend.

@softerhaze (sunblind is one of the only reasons i am able to make this post, ty) ∙ @cinamun ∙ @simelune ∙ @rhdweauni0 ∙ @tau1tvec ∙ @farfallasims ∙ @wildmelon ∙ @literalite ∙ @kadelyka ∙ @miilkymoonsims ∙ @kashisun ∙ @gunthermunch ∙ @bananasplit-sims ∙ @pralinesims (when i tell you that most of my mods folder is just their content i am not lying. absolute godsend) ∙ @puppycheesecake ∙ @glimersims

* fin.

and that's it, ig? i'm terrible at these sorts of things but hopefully all of this made some kind of sense—if you are an active simblr pls interact or say hi so i can follow you back, otherwise how tf am i supposed to find y'all if i'm now stuck in this community for the foreseeable future sfjsfdnkjsdnj (mobile navigation post coming soon-ish. if i can get more of my sh*t together. tbh that's highly unlikely but we're trying to be optimistic)

[queen-of-the-misfit-toys]

Misunderstanding

Warnings: none really, maybe language 🤔

Word count: 0.9k

This is a different little fic featuring Benedict and Hyacinth. Modern AU but this is one of the only pictures of them together I could find 😂.

___________________________________________

"Hyacinth, can you come down stairs please?" Benedict was surprised at how calm he sounded considering the rage and horror coursing through his body.

"Make it quick, Ben." She bounced down the stairs. "I have plans."

"Not anymore you don't. Can you tell me what this is, Hyacinth?" He asked, waving the small stick at her.

"Looks like a pregnancy test from here. Are we done? I've got to go."

"It's not just a pregnancy test, Hyacinth. It is a POSITIVE pregnancy test! Found on your bathroom counter! And you're not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. Sit down! We have to figure out what our next move will be."

"How dare you, Benedict! Why were you in my bathroom? That's a violation of my privacy! And you can't make me cancel my plans. You're not my father and you're not Anthony! Plus I'm 16 now! I'm practically an adult!

"You are living in my house and are under my authority while you are here. I can, and will, go anywhere in MY house I please AND make decisions for you! I'll take your fucking doors off if I want to. I promised Mother that you would be well taken care of! I don't have to let you live here, you know. And yes, you are 16. 16 fucking years old, Hyacinth! Far too young for this. You should barely know what sex is much less be having it!"

"I'm sure you were a virgin at 16, Saint Benedict! Oh oh, please forgive me for I have sinned." She hit her knees and grabbed his shirt. "I throw myself on your mercy, dear brother! Please don't beat me!"

"Sarcasm does not become you, Hyacinth." Benedict said through clenched teeth. He was fast losing the thin control he had on his temper.

"And prudishness doesn't become you, brother!" She spat back at him. "And it's not even mine! I found it in the kitchen trash this morning. I was going to ask Sophie about it but she'd already gone."

"Really, Hy, really? You expect me to believe that? I guess I should be grateful that your lying skills are shit." He chuckled darkly. "Now would you like to tell Mother or shall I? I expect it" he said, gesturing at her stomach, " will be hard to hide soon."

"There's nothing to tell, you bloody idiot! It's not mine! Do you want me to pee on a fucking stick in front of you so you can see for yourself? My God, you are thick!"

"You cannot speak to…."

"What in God's name is going on in here? I could hear the shouting down the road!" Sophie stood in the doorway looking at them both like they were insane.

"Your husband is a fucking halfwit!"

"And my baby sister is apparently a whore!"

"Oh that is it! You're going down!!"

Hyacinth launched herself at Ben, sweeping his knees and bringing them both to the ground. Benedict just laid there, too stunned by his sister's actions to speak.

"Benedict Bridgerton, have you lost your mind?" Sophie asked gently as she kneeled by his head. "What makes you think Hyacinth is pregnant?"

"He was snooping in my bathroom and found a pregnancy test, Soph. It's positive. I found it in the kitchen trash and was going to ask you about it but you were already gone. I swear to God it's not mine!"

"Oh dear" Sophie sat back on her heels as she helped Ben sit up. "No, it's not yours, Hy, it's mine." she said softly, looking at her husband.

"Sophie!!! You're going to have a baby!! I despair at your choice of the father but OMG I'm going to be the best aunt!!" Hyacinth hugged her sister-in-law tightly as she squealed with happiness.

"Thank you, Hyacinth, and yes you're going to be a phenomenal aunt. And your brother is going to be a phenomenal father." Sophie grabbed Benedict's hand and squeezed three times, their way of silently saying I Love You. "I think you owe him an apology. He loves you very much and is only concerned for your welfare. Especially since he is responsible for it while you're living with us."

"He called me a whore, Sophie! And violated my privacy!"

"He owes you an apology as well, Hy. His temper got the better of him, not an excuse I know but the truth. Now why don't you two hug and make amends."

Benedict and Hyacinth reluctantly got to their feet and hugged.

"I'm sorry, Hyacinth. I shouldn't have accused you without hearing you out and I should have believed you when you said it wasn't yours."

"I'm sorry too, Ben. I shouldn't have knocked you down. And I'll try to not be so sarcastic."

They hugged each other tightly for another moment, both with tears in their eyes.

"Can I go meet my friends?"

Sophie spoke up before Benedict could explain.

"Of course you can. Why would you even ask?"

Hyacinth tilted her head at her brother with a smirk on her face. Did he want his darling pregnant wife to know everything or would he pay her price?

"Yeah, Hy, you know you can come and go as you please as long as we know where you are. Here, take my credit card and have a good time."

"Thank you, brother!" Hyacinth kissed him on the cheek and bounced out the door.

Sophie was surprised at Benedict's gesture.

"Ben, why does she need your credit card? She has her own."

"Just a gesture of brotherly love, Soph. Now why don't we go upstairs and discuss our baby! And maybe celebrate their conception with a repeat performance." He wiggled his eyebrows at her in his deliciously dorky way.

Sophie was suspicious but not inclined to inquire further.

"Mr. Bridgerton, I'd like nothing more."

[ad-astra-per-asparagus]

Ok dumping my thoughts right here now that I’ve collected them since reading Batman 138. It’s a doozy, so bear with me.

Honestly, the premise of Gotham War is intriguing and could’ve been good if not for the sloppy execution. It’s interesting to see Bruce’s psyche rapidly declining, but how Zdarsky is going about it is ham-fisted and forced. First off, Selina’s method is outlandish and riddled with plot holes. There’s no skirting around that. Now logically I could see the batfamily members not declaring an allegiance to either side because both Bruce and Selina are in the wrong here; Bruce is losing his mind because Zur is hijacking it while Selina thinks training criminals will magically solve all violent crime in Gotham and everything will be sunshine and rainbows. But having the kids blindly fall into line with Selina because they agree with her plan is dogwater writing that I’m surprised Zdarsky cooked up after his spectacular Daredevil run. Have them form their own faction and let them actually act like they have agency and purpose instead of shoving them into roles that don’t fit.

Now I’m a little skeptical on the whole Jason/failsafe stuff. On one end, it’s a daring concept to play with. It shows how Bruce is going off the deep end and raises the stakes of the plot. On the other end, it’s going to drive an enormous wedge between Jason and Bruce for the foreseeable future. Like, there is no forgiving Bruce for this easily. Maybe that’s a good thing though, considering Jason for the past few years has been cycling through the same character arc over and over again like a washing machine that spits out clothes that are more worn-out after every load. Taking him out of the batfamily fold and inserting him into his own corner of DC sequestered away from Batman might actually force DC to write him organically, depending on whether or not Jason doesn’t go insane himself because what Bruce did to him was quite literally torture that will now be perpetual. Wowza.

My next gripe is the timing between comics. Batman and Robin’s timeframe is vague, but after reading 138 it makes zero sense why Damian would steadfastly stick by Bruce’s side—unless of course B&R happens way later, and somehow Bruce regains minor control of his mental state. Or the most realistic explanation being that the writers didn’t communicate the timelines, leaving their stories to contradict each other. But what are comics if not zany contradictions of stories? So I guess this gripe can slide…for now. Benefit of the doubt to Williamson at least because he planned B&R way in advance, meanwhile Gotham War was strung together as a myopic copy of Marvel’s Civil War in order to—I’m spitballing here—have Bruce be alone for a while in his own comics because he’s “a loner”…despite his character being, at his core, a family man, and whose character revolved around family for decades. Family rift stories can be good. Packed with drama. Exciting. This is none of the above.

Finally, arguably my biggest complaint about this dumpster fire, is Tim. Writers tend to be biased toward characters, I understand that, but when favoritism bleeds into the writing it sours the story altogether. Having Tim assume this role of “Bruce’s savior” is incredibly cheap and a little laughable at times. I see that they’re trying to establish him as important again, reliving his glory days as the Robin who helped guide Bruce back onto the right path after Jason’s death, but throwing other characters under the bus to lift him up is crazy. Especially Damian, because Damian saved his dad’s life twice in the last few months. Seriously, I’d brush it off if Tim hadn’t told Damian he was the one who helped Bruce out of the darkness while Damian only pushed Bruce further into it. Paraphrasing, but that’s the general idea: Tim is a saint and the rest of his siblings (Cassandra? Who?) are a cut below him when it comes to helping dear old dad out of his bad place. That hug was cute, but it was sugar spread on a pile of shit.

[inchidentally]

(not gonna post the link you sent bc I don't wanna tread on other people's stuff since we're all out here in the tumblr wild to talk about these rich men and their problematic silly sport in any way we want to. I'll reply with my thoughts but remember that they're my own and I am NOT telling someone else how to feel)

okay so fully removing the ship lenses and assuming they're not wishing any hostility towards Oscar or any future teammate of Lando's at McLaren: holy SHIT no. fuckballs NOOOO.

ok from a purely practical/realism standpoint Carlos will not be taking any steps backward. based purely on Ferrari's overall performance and the fact that Charles is a damn good match as a teammate (hi Singapore) Carlos is exactly where he should be for WDC contention. McLaren are out there competing hard with them and with the Mercs but to see them outpacing those cars would be solely down to the youth and combined competitiveness of Lando and Oscar they've invested in - so still no dice for Carlos in the foreseeable. I'm not F1 smart enough to know how likely it would be that he'd go to RBR but even there I'm not sure how he and Max would work together again with Max's dominance and ummmm Carlos' least favorite thing being following team orders to concede to his teammate. followed by what would become Carlos' first least favorite thing which would be to drive Max's car since development only works one way at RBR. and that's all assuming that Lando stays with McLaren and that Oscar chooses to leave. the first being reasonably likely and the second is too soon to tell. then there's the fact that by that point Lando would not be considered McLaren youth anymore and they'd be highly unlikely to bring on someone even older to partner him. ((add to that the fact that Carlos will never be an Alonso and will definitely get married early in his thirties and move on to different types of racing or maybe even a different field in racing)) Lando will be a Lewis and stick with F1 competitively chasing wins and WDCs (especially if he can outlast Max's boredom threshold) and he won't be interested in nostalgia hires unless they can help him with that goal.

but moving on to the more parasocial fandom side of it…

honestly the biggest surprise to me is seeing people think that they were equals ??? during their season together?? Lando was a tiny baby who has talked about how being partnered with Carlos fed his anxieties and insecurities! he saw this seasoned driver learning the car faster than him, knowing the circuits better than him and speaking to the team with more confidence than him. lbr when his "trophy" was Carlos' champagne while Carlos celebrated his podium, Lando did NOT look completely happy being forced into that celebration (and I seem to recall later on him even ruefully saying "it wasn't my celebration but anyway"). Carlos literally saw Lando as a baby brother and treated him as such but he also had no clue what to do with Lando's darker moods besides try to cheer him up (and sometimes fail).

I am someone who likes to keep the streams of real life and rpf totally crystal clear and separate and I also like to keep the reality of who these drivers are free of anything I imagine about them for fantasy. when Carlos isn't winning or at least happy with his result, he isn't remotely a team player (and with a team like Ferrari it's hard to blame him sometimes lol). I guess for some people? it's easy to think that Carlos would become a totally different driver when on a team with Lando from ~the power of love~… but that would also have to hand-wave when he actually was Lando's teammate. (it would also hand-wave that Carlos and Charles are also good friends and much more flirty and lovey dovey but Carlos still fights against Charles like a beast when he's in the car)

this man is in it to win it. if you called him soft for a teammate or said that the foremost reason he gave Lando DRS in Singapore was for Lando's benefit he would laugh in your face. at no point in the incredibly stressful final laps was Carlos going "aw shucks I hope my lil buddy can be up there with me let me rig this to make it happen" bc by that point in a race they are thinking in nothing but driving binary and /how do I cement my win against all the bastards behind me/. Carlos does NOT revolve even a small part of his racing career around Lando or any other driver. he doesn't even regard much of his team's input (again, probably for the best with Ferrari). even when he gets direct help from Charles following Ferrari strategy (see Singapore) I still can't really recall that he was overly effusive in acknowledging that fact. he's modeled himself much more on the F1 generations of more like two generations back. and why shouldn't he? so I do not get how people can still think that drivers - especially Carlos' type - are remotely friendly with anyone when they're on the circuit. sure they might get even more pissed off at a driver they aren't keen on but literally /everyone/ is their enemy and their own result is their one goal. that's literally their job.

and as Lando says himself, no one in F1 including him wants to beat anyone more than their own teammate. again. how do people think that Lando would take this entire career he's worked so incredibly hard for and make it about a guy he golfs with (in groups, folks) and occasionally goes to dinner with (which he also does with Daniel) and talks to during the drivers parade (he also consistently seeks out Max, George and Yuki) but has a thriving professional and social life that has nothing to do with Carlos? yuk|erre, maxie| and ga|ex are out there doing far more shippy type things than car|ando all the damn time but when have they ever let that affect their desire to win or beat each other??

nothing about little unseasoned raw lamb cutlet Lando with hairy alpha Carlos at McLaren at all resembles what their dynamic would be as teammates. and the fact that Lando is really liking this new feeling of being the superior favored driver bodes horribly for how he'd react to Carlos swinging his huge sexy cojones back into McLaren expecting to be the number one again by age and experience. folks should enjoy getting to see them during the drivers parade and out golfing as non teammates bc the adorable content of 2019 would curdle into something grotesque if they now had to do goofy challenges while slowly learning to hate the sight of each other during briefings as they sought to supplant the other in the standings.

in no way on this or any other earthly planes can I be convinced that having them compete on the same team again would be anything other than a trainwreck and result in them not even speaking for the next 10-15 years.

[stoopid-turtle]

I've seen people theorize as part of the devil's timeline (which I don't really subscribe to, but am curious about) that ggdd were pretending not to know each other beforehand when they started filming CQL and that that would explain why they got more familiar over time but also so quickly in the BTS. To me this would explain a couple things (like sharing phones so soon) but creates so many more questions that I have a hard time buying it. Mainly: I 100% understand why they wouldn't want to tell fans/the world at large any more details about their personal lives/relationship, since it's not our business, but I can't figure out why they'd like... act in front of the whole rest of the cast as strangers. I don't *think* it would make it seem like one gave the other any advantage in the casting process, but what do I know? And I can't think of a lot of other reasons for acting that elaborate/long-term. I was wondering if you had any takes on this?

Also! I wanted to say thanks again for your posts so far and I respect that it's not something you plan to keep doing, but I was (hoping) wondering if you were thinking about sticking around in the fandom as more of a spectator? I'm also a new turtle as of like 5 months ago so it's nice not to be the only one still going 🤯 over some of the BTS in 2023 when it's ancient news to everyone else. Thanks again for your hard work on your posts and timeline!

Hi!

Do they share phones really early? The earliest I saw was 7.7, though I'm not especially eagle-eyed. Beyond that instance and dd using gg's phone while the cast ate lunch on 8.2, I didn't notice either of them sharing phones in the videos I saw.

I guess I'm the odd one out bc I don't think they became familiar unusually fast. It seems like a reasonable timeline for the age they're at, from my experience. So I don't see the need to have an explanation for that since I don't see anything out of the norm in how their relationship progresses.

That's probably why I take the Devil's Timeline as interesting speculation but not much more.

But your main point is definitely a sticking point for me too.

Spitballing it, maybe they wanted to hide the nature of their relationship at first until they realized it was a gay-friendly set. But even then, why act like they don't know each other at all? They have a reasonable explanation for how they'd be acquainted: they met on DDU a year before. I'm not sure why they'd play coy.

Of course, behind the scenes industry stuff is always a wild card. We don't know what we don't know, and maybe gg and dd had a good reason to pretend they didn't know each other at all. I'm not well-versed enough in c-ent to even have a guess as to what that might be, but I assume it's possible.

At the same time, they later seem open about their relationship on set, even having couple fights and flirting while surrounded by cast and crew. So why hide things at the beginning?

I've been watching through some more of the daily bts on another playlist, and gg and dd act how I'd expect 2 reserved people to act on the first few days of working together. Of course, that's real subjective to assess, so somebody else could come away with a completely different impression of how they're acting. But, personally, I don't see anything that needs any explanation.

re: your second para: I'll probably go back to lurking. I have a primary tumblr acct that I use to lurk on a bunch of fandoms. I already followed the bjyx tags and a lot of the turtles on that acct before setting this up. I definitely plan to keep up with the boys, but I don't foresee posting that much in the future.

(I reserve the right to give in to my impulses and hunker down for the long-haul, though.)

I always get to a fandom late! I missed all the excitement when the bts first came out, but I still feel hype when I come across new-to-me stuff. I'm happy to enthuse with others!

[ecargmura]

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Episode 4 Review - Finding A Destination

Frieren and Fern finally get a destination towards their journey. Is this the end of the first arc and on towards a new one? Does this story even use the arc system? What will happen now that they got somewhere to go? Will they still keep doing odd jobs or will they go full forth towards their future end? I’m excited for what’s to come.

What I like is that everything about this episode all revolve around the legendary mage Flamme. Frieren accepts a janitorial job after an old man offers her a book that talks about Flamme; the book is fake, but she still accepts regardless. This is hinting that Frieren had a connection with her; she could’ve accepted something else instead of a fake grimoire but she still took it. After cleaning up the shore and enjoying the New Year Festival, Frieren and Fren meet up with Eisen who then take them to where Flamme’s notes were hidden; unlike what she had accepted before, these notes are actual notes that point to their destination: Aureole, the land where souls rest.

Frieren is so dynamic in this episode compared to previous ones. She’s not a morning person and very sloppy. If there’s a character I can relate to on a spiritual level, it’s Frieren. I get her bad habits of being sloppy, hating winter and constantly being tired. I love how that Frieren getting stuck in stuff is not the only running gag but her terrible sleeping habits too. I wonder if she ever gets back problems due to her bad sleeping posture. 

Poor Fern. As she spends another year with Frieren, the more she becomes Frieren’s mother, daughter and granddaughter all in one. She never wanted to raise a 1000+ year old elf, but somehow, she did. Moms are getting younger these days, I swear. I do like how annoyed she get with her master, but she sticks around because she cares for her. Fern is seriously the nicest character in this story because it takes courage and strength to be able to handle someone like Frieren and she does it superbly. I love the way Fern uses floating magic creatively like carrying a lazy Frieren across a lake. I also like how she teases Frieren by asking if she came from the prehistoric era.

It’s nice to see Eisen again. I did say in a previous review that Eisen had the least amount of focus of the heroes. To see him here and for him to have the focus he needed was a positive in my book. He’s still as stoic as he was in the past but kinder as he wanted to help Freiren look for Flamme’s journal. Like how Heiter got influenced by Himmel, Eisen’s actions are influenced by Heiter. Even Eisen could tell that Frieren is changing because she took on an apprentice after hearing her deny wanting one fifty years ago. Maybe I’m weird, but I find Eisen rather cute. Like he’s a dwarf with a long beard, but the way he handles himself is super adorable. While he’s still too old to travel with Frieren again, he’s still strong enough to lift a boulder. I guess superhuman strength will always be a dwarf trait? One little detail I like is that Frieren makes very sour grapes for Eisen, which are his favorite. It shows that Frieren does care about her friends whether she admits it or not. I really like the little bonding moments Eisen and Fern have together. They both know that handling their elf friend can be a hassle. Since Eisen is still alive, I wonder if we’ll ever see him again in the future.

A new character is introduced. Flamme was Frieren’s late master 1000 years ago. She was a legendary mage who was described to be difficult to handle. I feels as if Flamme and Frieren’s legacy will be what Frieren and Fern will become in the future. Flamme kept her journal hidden away because she knew Frieren will return for it after she’s gone. It was as if she could foresee into the future of sorts. Flamme herself seems like a cool person and I’d love to see more of her in the future now that we have another flashback character incorporated into the story. Flamme’s red hair and green eyes makes her feel so exotic in a way; I wonder if she has a special lineage or something of the sort. 

I couldn’t help but to gush over the animation and music for this entire episode. The animation when Frieren opens the door hidden away in the tree was amazing. I also loved the soundtrack used in that sequence. The OST is a huge banger and something I’d totally listen to on repeat forever. I’m finally getting used to the ending song now. I really like it!

Anyways, I do wonder how long it will take for Frieren and Fern to reach Ende now that Aureole is their destination. Will they get more companions along the way? I can’t wait for more! What are your thoughts about this episode and the whole 2 hr premiere of Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End?

[polymusepotion]

@seesgood || there’s a good chance this is the only thread I’ll work on for the foreseeable future. but I need it.

“explain to me how this works, again.” sebastian’s eyes scan the crowded venue where this “dating” event is being hosted. there are people of all ages mingling about. all walks of life. and he’s mapping out every possible emergency exit, every possible ambush, every threat. this isn’t exactly his scene, but susan insisted he join her on account of her thinking she knew what he needed in his life.

she gestures over to a set of kiosks in the far wall. “you plug your phone in, it does a quick scan of your search history and other telling marks that google has picked up on you, and it pairs you with someone else in this room who has the most in common with you.”

he gives her a wan expression. allowing some unknown computer program into his phone sounds like a terrible idea.

“then,” susan continues, ignoring his expression because she knows he’ll have tyson scrub his information from the kiosk as soon as he has his match. “then it assigns you a table where your match will join you once they also have their assignment.”

“you think someone will match with me? given the things i google from time to time?” from time to time meaning almost daily. 

“you’d be surprised. just try it. for me. you’re becoming insufferable. it won’t tell either of you what brought you together. just trust the algorithm.” she shoves him toward the kiosks and, against his better judgment, he goes. it’s reckless and dangerous and there’s a chance he’ll have to run if the kiosk shares anything from his phone with the authorities. but this is what susan wants and seb’s never been good at turning her down. 

-

TABLE 13

how very... unlucky. or maybe it’s not. he’s not sure yet. the kiosk asked basic questions. gender preferences. desired age range for partners. the more personal questions he expected: hard limits, things that attract, that kind of thing, were all missing. he assumes it’s because the kiosk gathers it all, or believes it does, from the phone’s history. maybe there’s a way for them to know what brought them together so they know where to start in their conversations, but he didn’t really stick around long enough to find out. maybe that information will be given to the second person. some kind of print out that just says something like murder. 

he snorts under his breath.

and, as if to prove its effectiveness, a glass is brought to him by a waiter. he sniffs. whiskey. neat. his eyes scan the crowd, trying to guess who might join him as he takes a small strip of paper out of a plastic bag hidden within his suit jacket pocket and drops it in the glass. the paper doesn’t turn black. the drink’s not been tampered with.

interesting. he’s still staring at the drink when he feels someone approach. 

sebastian lifts his gaze. “hullo,” he offers with a bright gaze and warm smile. “is this your table?”

[sunshine-in-your-smile]

Palettes

e.l.f Cosmetics Cookies 'N Dreams Eyeshadow Palette - Blue eyeshadow is so slutty that's why I have three palettes of them. I ordered this at the same time as Rose Water and while that was wrapped in a layer of foam and protected (based on elf standards), this was just left free floating in the box. To no one's surprise, one of the shades did not end up in one piece but it was only a tiny corner that didn't make it so I didn't bother emailing customer service. It's not a shade I see myself drawing on giant circles of so that little loss is okay with me.

e.l.f. Cosmetics Bite-Sized Eyeshadow (Rose Water) - Apparently the quality really varies based on which color you get (and Rose water is on the lower end of that list) but we'll just... ignore that. The verdict seems to be it's workable but not as amazing as it could be. That's how I am as a person, so I'll take it. I got it on sale after seeing it used in some pretty douyin looks.

I'M MEME I'm Multi Cube (#001 All About Candy Pink, #002 All About Apple Red, #003 All About Juicy Peach, & #004 All About Chocolate) - They came out with a new version of this after I had just bought the entire collection so fuck me I guess. The shimmers are a little putty feeling and smooth, the mattes are mattes, the colors aren't bad per say, just not my style anymore, especially when they're all used together as advertised. They come with a matching blush in a cute layered compact. It was helpful when I just started getting into makeup and needed guidance on eyeshadow but now? I just do whatever

Colourpop Shadow Palette (Hello Hollywood, By The Rose, Making Mauves, & That's Taupe) - I used to have Nude Mood and Coast to Coral but have since decluttered both since corals just aren't my thing anymore and Nude Mood is noticeably warm toned which I've been straying from. The eyeshadow itself is great and I had no problems using them (sometimes I think about having Nude Mood again...) but my tastes have shifted from what they were when I was starting to really get into makeup. Hello Hollywood is a cute all matte palette perfect for a simple neutral brown look with or without a pop of blue I see getting a lot of use in the summer for a Barbie look, That's Taupe is a good collection of cool toned browns, Making Mauves expands on the vibe of Rose Water which I find very pretty, and By The Rose is a nice pinky palette I couldn't resist. Even though the last three of them are all 9 pan palettes, By The Rose is slightly bigger in both pan and compact size?

BH Cosmetics Poison Shock Venom - Goth bitches wya. Got some gorgeous inner corner highlights and gray tones, really only missing a matte black to make the perfect all in one alt palette. Well, that and maybe a good red. Halloween makeup collections my beloved, as much as I like the cute pink heart shaped shit I love Halloween a lot. Wish it wasn't almost always limited edition.

Urban Decay Cosmetics Naked Smoky - My most used palette after I decluttered Nude Mood. Actually used to be my mom's (which was a gift from the same Ulta Beauty aunt) who really didn't like it and only used the two lightest shades. She's missing out but also she doesn't like deeper grunge makeup. Not me though, I eat that shit up. Some people online consider the Naked Smoky as the downfall of the line, I personally like the color story and will be using it for the foreseeable future.

Makeup Revolution Dark Reign - girl what year are we in (affectionate). Gives me early 2000s visual kei vibes. I'm into it. The shade names were on the plastic sheet on new eyeshadow palettes and not on the palette itself so that's a bit annoying but not the end of the world. Each shade has a matte and shimmer version. Some of these are not getting use.

Profusion Cosmetics Superbloom Ethereal 20-Shade Palette - A beautiful color story but man is the packaging annoying. The little plastic window is far too malleable and it wants to stick together so prying it open is a regular occurrence. Don't get me wrong, it's not difficult to get it open since it is cardboard based but unlike Colourpop's cardboard palettes which are also magnetized but you don't give a second thought of while opening, this is more... "huh this packaging is kinda cheap" feeling, you know?

Euphoric Sun BB Blue - I'm telling you. Slutty blue eyeshadow. The pans are nice and big, the art is very cute (is it just me or is the artist really familiar? I can't remember their name off the top of my head, but I swear I followed them a few years back... it's not Sun's art) and I actually seeing myself use these colors often. In the summer of course but still.

Coastal Scents Original 88 Color Palette - Blast from the past!! My cousin had been hanging on for a minimum of one year on a brand-new palette before she decided to declutter it to me. I wasn't wearing makeup when Coastal Scents got popular online, but I remember that era of beauty YouTube. There's a lot of colors and the pans are small so it's good for whenever I need a specific color I otherwise would never have.

AOA Cherry Blossoms 9-Color Eyeshadow Palettes (Hirosaki & Maruyama) - can't go wrong for $1.88. Weirdly I find the cherry blossoms line as a whole really orange toned? Makeup brands release a cherry blossom collection that's actually pastel pinks and spring themed challenge. Hirosaki is so pretty to look at even though I hate oranges. That purple is putting in the work.

2023 Makeup Collection

Do I wear a full face of makeup on a regular basis? No. Do I still have a lot of makeup? Yes. Let me have my collections of trinkets, very little things bring me joy nowadays

The worst of my impulse purchases have arrived so I think this is a good time to round up the products and see what I have, what I like, what I don't like, what I've been neglecting, etc. I don't want to do project pan since I only leave the house like two or three times a week (but only for like. Things that don't matter. Who's getting ready to go to the fucking supermarket for 15 minutes) so it would just be me setting myself up for disappointment and that's no fun. How about this; I'll set some small, realistic goals for the year for some products and we'll see what happens. Swatches later maybe

Face Primers

Kose Suncut Water in UV Protect Essence SPF 50+ PA++++ - Yes this is technically a sunscreen but it also doubles as a makeup primer! This is the second primer sunscreen hybrid I've used (the first being Kao Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence which I also like and feels similar to this one). It's no longer available on YesStyle, which is where I get the majority of k and j beauty products, so that kind of sucks but I like trying out new products anyways. It feels hydrating but not heavy and absorbs into the skin not immediately but like. After a reasonable amount of time considering I slather a good amount of this all over my face and neck. No problems with laying foundation over it, no strong fragrance, no whitecast, the color isn't the stark white nightmare from my childhood, and while it doesn't completely smooth out my problem areas like the T zone or my cheeks (to be fair that's where all my large pores and acne are), it leaves the rest of my skin nice. This is my only sunscreen so obviously I'm going to use it until I either run out or it goes bad.

Milk Makeup Blur Stick - Hm. I used to really love this. It's easy to apply, glides smoothly, and leaves a nice velvet finish. Maybe there's a layer of grease that's built up over time (I should,,,, sanitize it regardless let's be honest) but I find it pilling in the more dehydrated nooks and crannies of my nose and over the textured parts of my skin. It's fine if I apply it on a flat and clear section but my acne is not taking it well. Can't say I recommend it if your face is a slice of pepperoni pizza like mine, but I will still be keeping it only to use on the outside of my face as I'm an incredibly oily and sweaty person and I find this keeps unwanted moisture from seeping out. It doesn't feel drying on the skin but it does feel dry so let's hope I can avoid two summers ago when my makeup melted off my face and sweat dripped from my hair down my forehead making it look like I just got out of the water. I was taking a leisurely walk downtown. I found the full size at a Marshall's for much cheaper so if you're paying full price for this you are an absolute clown. I did find it a couple of years ago so I doubt there's still any more left (plus it seems like Milk is paying more attention to their other primers) but at the very least, don't get the full size if you're a casual makeup wearer. Or do whatever you want I'm not your mom. I want to flatten the initial mound of product completely and start having to twist it up since holy shit I've had this since the 10th grade

Touch in Sol No Poreblem Primer - Oh my god this is my favorite primer so far. It does what the Milk used to do for me before it decided flaky skin was the look and lays beautifully over my large pores, acne, and weird patch on the side of my nose that for some reason decided to be a problem one day. I don't think acne scarring to blame but who knows at this point. It's more hydrating and a thinner consistency than the blur stick and doesn't have that balmy feel as it's a liquid, my nose looks and feels fine with it under foundation and powder, 10/10 I will use this until it's dead. I am not even rating these that's how you know I love this. If you see this at a Marshall's turn the other eye and leave that shit for me. There's a green one for redness I was also going to buy but decided against it specifically because the line was too long lol.

The Face Shop Air Cotton Makeup Base SPF30 PA++ (#01 Mint) - I got this for my "boy" makeup days where I want to look perfected but not actually done up. Haven't gotten around to using it since I got it pretty recently and been on a full color correcting kick nowadays. But sometimes I want to be a "yeah I have blemishes, what of it" kind of girl but also do I need to look like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer meeting up to gossip with my friend group???? No.

[sovonight]

For the smuggling AU it would be fun if all the major planets are where Atton gets contacted to do smuggling jobs (like Onderon, they need someone to smuggle weapons for the war happening there) and the Exile could either go along with it or not depending on how they feel about the shady dealings going on. The Sith/bounty hunters keep showing up and Atton is over here like "why is the universe trying to stop me from getting a paycheck"

the exile decides to stay behind on the ship one time & atton comes back fully injured going "you would NOT believe the kind of day i had at work"

[japplejottomjeans]

STRANGER THINGS 5: A NEW EVIL

DISCLAIMER: i am not a THEORY GUY. i am a FAN who is CHRONICALLY ONLINE and TOTALLY NORMAL about this show. this is just me SAYING SHIT.

Hear me out…So apparently after the first season, people were theorizing how the thessalhydra could make an appearance in season 2. Obviously, that never happened—it ended up being the mind flayer instead right? I guess, eventually, people forgot about it, which is fair considering it was only mentioned like, 5 times. But, because im a fucking nerd i and read too much into everything, i realized that the thessalhydra, or any other monster alike to it, was never mentioned again. Of course, it could just be a slip up or inconsistency or fuckin any other excuse they conjure up, but i dont like that way. Heres a different reason i like better

THEORY: THE THESSALHYDRA, OR SOME MONSTER LIKE IT, WILL BE A NEW VILLAIN IN SEASON 5

Wills painting depicted a dragon of some sort with several heads--the thessalhydra also has several heads

There are other theories of Wills art foreshadowing the future. In season 2 when he was possessed he draw a map of the town, purely from his subconscious.

Because he is still tethered to the upside down and/or vecna, hes still able to foresee the future—even if he doesnt know it—specifically the painting he gave to mike in season four. Its of the partys d&d characters facing a dragon type creature wearing three heads. To be fair, the thessalhydra can have up to 9, but the fact that they both have over 1 i count as a similarity.

Alot of people think theres gonna be a dragon next season—personally i dont think it makes sense, just a fucking dragon comin outa nowhere. The GA wouldnt clock it unless it looked exactly like it, or there was some flashback to the painting, or something. Idk, i just think itd be tricky. But the thessalhydra could work for several reasons: 1. its been mentioned verbally in the past, so it would be easier for the audience to remember it. 2. it could make as a sort of realization that their d&d games are having an effect on the real world.

Mike, will, even dustin or lucas would be the first to have that epiphany. I feel like that would give the main party a reason to stick together as they go over everything that happened in their campaigns, try n think of what the fuck is gonna happen next so they can be prepared.

Alternatively; they could be tryin to figure out what campaign could happen next, and before they do the thessalhydra jumps out and theyre like “shit, how did we not realize? it was so long ago…” etcetera etcetera

When vecna shows nancy "the future", she described what she saw to be "a giant creature with a gaping mouth"

The first reason could easily be explained as just a coincidence, but this part kinda sold me ngl. In season four nancy described what she saw in her vision: the town up in flames, dead soldiers, a dark cloud looming over the city, the four gates, but also a another monster. I watched her vision in .25x speed n there was no fucking monster. She goes onto say there were more—a whole ass army of em (probably demodogs).

Anyway, she described the creature as one weve never seen before (unless the mind flayer has another form or sum). I think it looks a lot like the thessalhydra. And these things are like…huge

And so far, everything vecnas showed her has come true

D&D games in stranger things have a record of predicting the future--in the finale of season 1, the party's faced with the thessalhydra. Will defeats it with his fireball (to which he rolled a 14 to cast but thats just the delusional in me 💀)

Ion got a picture for this one but most of yall will know what im talkin about. this is actually another theory thats popular among the fandom. There are tons of variations of it, but ill judt be talkin about the main theme

So whenever a game of d&d is played, it reflects onto real life events (re: season 1 with the demogorgon, season 4 with vecna). Just think of jumanji. Almost all games that have been played in hawkins have had an impact on the town itself— almost all.

The only ones weve seen that have never been referenced again is the one at the end of season 1 (where they defeat the thessalhydra) and in season 3 (where mike sacrifices himself for the town, but uh, ill save that for another post cuz that shit is lowkey concerning ngl)

Anyways—and im reaching with my whole ass torso—the “hoard of juju zombies” could be foreshadowing the “army of monsters” that nancy saw. the thessalhydra could show up with them <- and im talking about this like its endgame material, which it is. heres how i think it could go

Pre time skip, shit happens—i bet the army of monsters nancy spoke of will emerge from the gates. The soldiers will do everything in their power to stop them, but they dont understand whats going on, so they dont defeat them. More shit happens, the town is fled by most, then the time skip.

Its sort of post apocalyptic yk, they dont do much—just try their best to survive. there isnt much they can do. theyre mostly inside, and when theyre not they wear gas masks because of the spores in the air. theyre lives go on, but its not normal. its nowhere near normal.

Anyway, the main conflict ensues, but near the end (probably episode 7 or so) is when that monster that theyve been silently waiting for finally shows up. i think dustin, cuz hes always making the fucking connections to the ud and d&d, coins the monsters name with the analogy that fits it best—the thessalhydra. with this comes a sort of epiphany that maybe these arent just analogies for the sake of it; maybe theyre real.

so dustin tries to contact mike and will (theyre stuck in the upside down right now) to warn them of whats happening. maybe once they all reunite and are brainstorming how to defeat it, they could be like “well how did we defeat him in the game?” silence “a fireball” and will realizes he needs to help defeat it. (protective mike moment)

Yeah this post as all over the fucking place. Seriously im just spitballing. sorry if this is like, incomprehensible 💀 ight bye

[keepingupwithpotters]

How about General 42: Are you flirting with me?

Thank you so much for the prompt Lauren <33 I've missed parties and flirting so much so I've decided to make that everybody's problem 🥰🥰

Lily can feel the music pulsing all over her as she stands in the middle of the common room. Her heartbeat still hasn’t calmed down after dancing for two hours straight and she swears it’s pounding in her chest simultaneously with the rhythm.

When she attempts to drink from the cup in her hand, which she miraculously still hasn’t spilled, she finds it empty. That explains the lack of clumsiness on her part, she thinks, or the fact that her whole body is throbbing like something red, raw, and alive.

The sweat is making frizzy curls stick to the skin around her neck, and it suddenly feels too hot among all these people she can hardly breathe. Escaping seems like a good idea now, to get away from this stifling air and maybe to get a drink for her parched throat.

It takes a moment for her to locate the makeshift bar but when she does, she finds herself buzzing for a whole different reason with a mouth drier than before.

It really is not fair on her addled brain for him to look this good.

She imagines herself now looking thirsty on another level, but she can’t find it within her to care as she drinks in James’ relaxed posture from afar. He is slouching against the table with a loose grip on his bottle and she admires the easy smile on his lips, so different from the intensity of it just mere hours ago. She notes with desperation he’d also changed from his Quidditch robes, which she can’t decide whether is better or worse.

His arm flexes under the t-shirt as he ruffles his hair.

Worse, then. Definitely worse.

She could try to reason with herself about how she was already going there anyway and how James has no effect on the speed of her steps. But she’s not fooling anyone, least of all herself, not with this much alcohol in her system and want in her blood.

“Now why are you not dancing at your own victory party, captain?”

He doesn’t look startled to see her beside him. “I think you’ve danced enough for both of us out there, Evans.

“I would’ve danced more if you were there with me too.”

The sad thing is, she doesn’t even get nervous about making these remarks anymore. The excitement to see whether he’d flirt back has faded away after her first few tries, his obliviousness to Lily’s all pitiful attempts now just a game for the girls to see how far she can take it.

“It’s not like I was miserable over here,” he chuckles. “I was just… enjoying the ambiance.”

“Is that what they call it now? Watching pretty girls dance from afar?” She adds a hair twirl for emphasis. Marlene would be proud of her.

He laughs wholeheartedly at this, a little too much if you ask her. She tries not to take offence.

“Guess I just needed a moment to take it all in. It’s the last year, y'know, trying to burn the good memories into my brain.”

She is certainly aware it’s the last year, thank you very much. The reminder prompts her to face him as she leans on the table like he does, debating whether a hair flip would be too much.

Ah, what the hell, she had passed too much two weeks ago.

“I’m sure we can make better memories than skulking in the corner of a crowded room and what? Drinking butterbeer?” She finds enough courage in herself to touch his arm as she adds the next part, “Well, no wonder you aren’t on the dance floor with me if that’s how you’re celebrating.”

“I think you have also drunk enough for both of us, Evans.”

“Nonsense.” She turns to face the various booze bottles and starts to add some firewhiskey in her cup to prove her point, a delayed mission on her part. “We wouldn’t be standing here talking if that was the case.”

Which is why she completely misses his face when he teasingly asks, “Are you flirting with me, Evans?”

She stops pouring the firewhiskey.

“What gave it away, Potter?”

The words alone could be considered a part of their usual bantering if it wasn’t for her deadpan voice. When she finally turns her head to gauge his reaction, she can see him trying to decide whether to laugh it off or panic as his joking question has now turned into something much more. She decides to press on.

“Was it the hair twirling? Cause I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing that for at least three weeks now.”

No answer. She isn’t sure he’s even breathing at the moment.

“No? Asking you to dance then? Something I’ve done at the last party too and got rejected again I must remind you.”

She knows it’s irrational for her to be angry at him about this, but it’s been too damn long, she has endured too much teasing, and she just wants to understand what has changed. James Potter stopped making sense to her a while ago.

“Guess not. Oh, it was touching you, right? Though, I’ve been doing that since almost the year’s started. Would be a real dark horse if that was the one.”

He gulps painfully, she really does feel sorry for him for a split second.

“It was probably the alcohol,” he chokes out at last.

“What? You only fancy me when I’m drunk or something, is that it?”

“Not– not your alcohol,” he stammers quickly. “My alcohol.”

Maybe Lily has drunk enough for the night. She definitely won’t admit he was right or that she can’t understand a word he’s saying though.

He apparently sees it anyway. “I don’t think I could accept you were flirting with me when I was sober, Evans. I still have a hard time believing it now.”

She gets a sudden calculating look in her eyes. “How far gone are you, Potter?”

“Alcohol-wise or you-wise?”

“Oh, now he flirts back,” she grumbles, the blush she feels rising in her cheeks ruining the disgruntled effect she’s going for. “How much of this will you be remembering tomorrow?”

“I don’t think I’ll be forgetting any of this till the day I die, Evans.”

“Good.” She stands up straight abruptly. “There is a chance I won’t have a clear memory of this moment.”

He wants to object to this vehemently, she can tell, but she doesn’t let him. “Knowing myself, I’ll probably be doing all of these in the foreseeable future too.”

“Which part,” he quips back.

“All of it. So you better get your act together.” She fixes some invisible wrinkles on her blouse before taking her cup back from the table. “I want you to bring your A game tomorrow.”

She leaves his side with a wink over her shoulder. She can’t wait to see the look on her friends’ face when she tells them her glaring success.

[lucy90712]

Dream- quarantine

Warnings: mentions of anxiety and panic attacks 

Wc- 1922

~ There has just been an announcement that we have to stay inside and quarantine for the foreseeable future. Obviously I'm not happy about it and in fact I'm quite scared but I know things will be somewhat ok because I have Clay with me. The two of us have been living together for a little under 6 months now so we aren't new to it so I'm hoping we should be ok.

Clay probably hasn't seen the news yet because he's been filming all morning but it won't be long before he's done and he finds out. I don't want to be the one to tell him because I know he's not going to be happy because him and George have been talking about him coming over for the last few months but that won't be able to happen now.

He soon finished his recording and came out to join me in the living room where I had the news on. He looked over and watched what was on the tv which changed his expression from a smile to a blank expression in seconds, he seemed just as upset as I was if not more.

"How long is this going to go on for?" He asked hoping I would know

"No idea they haven't said" I said

"I guess George isn't coming over then" he sighed

"I'm sorry but he will be able to come over eventually we just have to be patient you wouldn't want things to be unsafe when he comes here" I said

"Yeah I guess, at least I have you to keep me company" he said

He pulled me into him as he text George to tell him what was going on because obviously he wouldn't know. George FaceTimed him and we all had a talk about cancelling our plans at least for a bit but then we moved on to other things which made Clay a lot happier which was great because I hate when he's sad.

During the rest of the day me and Clay went to the store to get some things that we needed before it all sells out because people were flocking to buy essentials. It was stressful at the store but we stayed close to one another and managed to weave our way through mostly because Clay was so tall and can force his way through crowds. We made it out alive with most of what we needed so we called it a day just deciding that we would live without the stuff we couldn't get.

—————

It had been a little more than 3 weeks since quarantine commenced and my god has it been worse than I ever would have imagined, being stuck inside and only leaving to go to the store had really taken its toll on me and my mental health as well as Clay's sanity. He has been working constantly leaving me to do all the chores and be the one to go out even with cases rising at an alarming rate he doesn't seem too bothered.

We have also been arguing more than we used to with him spending so much time working and seeming to care so little I've kind of been mad at him but that doesn't seem to change anything. It's starting to feel like he just doesn't care about me anymore I mean he doesn't even come to bed at night most of the time and we only talk when I ask him what he wants to eat or when we're arguing. It's starting to feel like I'm losing him and I don't want that because I really do love him but I can't keep this up much longer I just feel like crying every night.

While Clay is doing whatever the hell he does during the day I was talking with sapnap because he called me out of the blue but it was nice to actually talk to someone for once. He was concerned that there was something wrong because Clay has been constantly available on discord when he normally takes breaks to spend time with me and he hasn't talked about me which he says he does a lot.

"Is everything alright between you two?" He asked

"I mean not really but I don't want to drop all of it in you so don't worry" I said

"No please tell me I don't mind" he said

"Ok well he's been spending all his time working making me do all the chores and go out whenever we need something most nights he just stays up then sleeps when I'm awake and we only talk when we argue or when I ask what he wants to eat" I rambled

"Y/n I'm sorry I can try and talk to him if you want me to" he offered

"No its ok he'll just be more mad if you say something I'll deal with it" I said

"You shouldn't have to put up with it he's not treating you like you deserve please don't just just let him do that to you" he said

"Ok I'll try and talk to him later" I said

Me and Nick came up with some sort of plan for later when he ends up talking to Clay he's going to leave the call so I can talk to him and have his full attention. He offered to do it sooner but I had things to do first that I had to get done as not to give Clay any reason to be mad at me even though I'm sure he'll find one.

Anxiety warning

I cleaned the kitchen and went to the store which was more packed than usual probably because of the timing but it stressed me out all on my own. People were pushing me out the way and people without masks on were getting all in my face and it scared me. This is the type of stuff I deal with all the time but today it was particularly bad to the point that I started shaking and struggling to breathe slightly in my mask. I had to try and get out of there as quick as possible which I did but probably forgetting some things in the process which means I'll have to come back probably tomorrow but I didn't care at the time.

Once outside and in my car I took my mask off and let myself breathe properly to calm myself down. It took me quite a long time to get a grip of my emotions and by the time I decided to leave I still wasn't feeling fully myself and my hands were still shaking slightly but that will probably go on for a little while longer. Nick text me just before I left saying that he was on call with Clay so whenever I was ready he would leave as he told George not to join to make things easier.

Back at home I made myself go into the bathroom to try and talk myself through what I was going to say and any comebacks I could think of to all the things Clay could say to me which was hard because he always manages to find something that I would never think of to say. I got my argument together but definitely lost the calm I had got back to earlier hands started shaking more again and becoming more clammy.

I text Nick to let him know I was ready and he text back almost right away to say that he had left the call and wished me luck as well as offered any help he could give if I needed it. I went into Clay's office to see him just sat at his desk doing nothing in particular at least that I could work out, he looked over and smiled at me which was not going to last long thats for sure.

"Clay can we talk?" I asked

"Yeah of course is everything alright?" He asked back

"I'm going to be honest with you I feel like you are ignoring me you are just working all the time and I get that your busy but before you always found time to spend with me and now I'm left to do everything by myself and it's starting to take its toll on me" I said as calm as possible

"You are kidding right I'm trying my best to support the both of us by doing all this work you think I want to be in here this much because I don't" he half yelled

"And I'm trying my best too I have been working from home everyday as well as keeping up with everything else and guess what I would rather not do that either but I do it to let you do all the stuff your doing, I had a fucking panic attack at the store earlier because it's all just too much" I said with more emotion this time

"You're not the only .... wait you had a panic attack I'm sorry I wasn't there to help" he said softly

It was like it hit him what I have been saying for weeks and it was kind of refreshing to have him finally snap out of whatever mindset he was in and come back to the real world where there are things that he needs to think about that's not just to do with me but his own health.

He got up for his chair and came over to give me a tight hug which I'm not going to lie felt nice because we haven't been this close in almost a month so it just feels nice to have some human contact. It calmed me down in seconds just like Clay does so well, he grabbed my hands and traced his thumbs over the back of them.

"I'm sorry y/n I'm so sorry I shouldn't have left you do do everything on your own you're right I've been spending too much time working and that's not fair on you" he said

"You don't need to beat yourself up over this I just wanted to get through to you and don't feel like you have to spend a ton of time with me I just want a better balance" I explained

He nodded and we talked things through like we needed to do this whole time, we worked things out and made some plans to better use both of our time but it was nothing that we had to stick to strictly or else that would cause more issues. We decided that Clay was going to try and be available to go to the store with me and most nights we are going to try and go to bed together or he will at least join me at some point.

During our discussion I got a text from Nick asking if everything went alright so I just sent a quick text back to say things went fine and should hopefully get better from now on.

Clay and I decided to spend the evening together and not just because he felt guilty he really just wanted to spend time with me after coming out of his old mindset and feeling tired of working. We didn't do much just spent time sat together on the sofa watching movies and eating takeaway. He had me sat on his lap pretty much the whole time holding onto my waist or playing with my hair.

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper - Part 13

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem! Reader Warnings: Talk of parent death Length: 2.1k words Notes: Okay bitches here we go. I’ve got 3 kids doing online schooling, a desk chair that just broke while I was halfway through typing this out, a raging headache, and couldn’t be fucked to edit. I love you al, thank you for sticking with me and this little brain baby of mine. My guidance counselor from high school can suck my dick, “You’re not a creative writer, Cher, you should considering taking Home Ec as an elective instead” I digress....

Series Masterlist

"No." You glared at him and squeezed his hand harder, "You're doing that thing again.

Frankie's head whipped over to stare at you, shocked by your assertive tone.

"You're pulling away. You're stressed, out of your depth, don't know how to deal with it and so you're pulling away again-"

"You don't understand," Frankie interrupted you, shaking his head and trying to pull his hands out of your grasp. This only served to strengthen your resolve, and your grip on him.

"No." You declare again, trying to stay calm and have a mature conversation despite the tension and running emotions. "You told me to give you time to get your thoughts straight and vocalized. I can't do that if I'm not here to hear them. I can't understand your predicament if I leave. So," You moved so you're sitting cross-legged in front of him, making eye contact in an effort to show him he had your full attention. "Why don't you tell me what that phone call was about so we can start figuring it out, together."

The situation was more complex than you ever could have imagined. Frankie's ex-wife, Karla, had died. Her car had been hit by a drunk driver. Annie, thank the gods, hadn't been in the car at the time. Before she'd died at the hospital, Karla had managed to say a few words to the paramedics. At the time they didn't make sense, however, the paramedic had taken the time to write the words down and included the scrap of paper with the patient's chart. This evidence, as it turned out, had been monumental during the resulting legal battle for Annie, all of which took place without Frankie even being notified.

Child services, lawyers, extended family, and even doctors had been involved in the court proceedings. All arguing over the future of the six-year-old girl. All believing that they knew what was best for her, most believing that she should live with them, some having the gall to pretend that they weren't aware of the sizable life insurance payout she was about to receive.

Eight words. Eight simple, beautiful words whispered through the broken, bloody lips of a woman who knew she was about to die. A young girl's future was being held in suspense, and as fate would have it, a wise and sentimental judge was overseeing her case. Eight words were all it took to convince him that Annie's mother knew what was best for her own child.

"Francisco Morales. Trust with her, he's ready now."

From the time Frankie had received the phone call from Karla's family lawyer, the two of you had two days to prepare for Annie's arrival. Frankie worked his magic and erected a wall across the bedroom portion of his loft, allowing for the little girl to have some privacy but not feel like she was being closed in. 

He had fretted for a least twenty five minutes over colour swatches at Hank’s Hardware before coming to the conclusion that he should leave it white and have Annie chose her room colours once she had settled in. He bought himself a new couch, as well, that would convert into a bed and serve as his bedroom for the time being.

The conversation you never had a chance to have with him was still in the back of your mind, but you understood that moving in together as a couple was hard enough. Moving in together with a kid neither of you knew, whose life had just been turned upside down against her will, would be catastrophic. Instead, you focused on being as much of a rock for Frankie as you could.

You made a trip to the city and bought girls bedding, some stuffed animals, and a few little decorations to help Annie feel like the new space was special for her. You also thought to pick up comfort food that a kid might crave, knowing that when you were six the best way to your heart was chocolate. Just before you left the city, a sign caught your attention and had you swerving to change lanes, normally you'd feel slightly bad about your obnoxious driving but today you just waved your middle finger at the rear window in a mock salute.

The flower shop had so many bouquets and you had no idea what kind of flowers the little girl might like. You also had the morbid realization that bouquets might remind her of all the flowers she surely saw at Karla's funeral. Just as you began to second guess yourself, a stand near the back caught your eye and made you smile.

The day of her arrival came quicker than you felt prepared for, never mind how Frankie must be feeling. He hadn't had too much time to worry about how having his daughter would change his life, but once the two of you were standing in his driveway doing nothing but waiting, the nerves had finally settled in. You could see deep, calming breaths he was taking as they condensed into little clouds in the freezing air.

Grabbing his clenched fist, you felt his fingers relax enough to allow your gloved ones to slide through them.

"It's going to be weird for everyone, she's probably nervous too." You weren't sure if the words were reassuring or not but nervous talking seemed to be your forte so you ran with it. "I mean, she's probably sad that she's leaving everything and everyone she's always known, excited about moving to a new place, then feeling bad that she's feeling another emotion besides grief. It can be hard to juggle loss and hope. Just show her how much you love her and be honest about why you couldn't be with her before. Kids are smart and are aware of way more than adults give them credit for."

A few moments later a black sedan slowly crept up the driveway. You wanted to stay, to meet the little girl but had the feeling that Annie and Frankie were going to need time to figure out their relationship without another person in the mix. Suddenly having a new parent was going to be hard enough on the little girl, you were afraid that she might see you as trying to replace her mom and push you away.

Rubbing Frankie's back for one last show of reassurance, you kissed his shoulder then took a few steps back. You figured this was the best way to be there to support him but also staying in the background for the time being. Before the car could fully come to a stop, the rear door was flying open and, in a blur of movement, a little body was flying out of it towards Frankie. You know how people will say that there are times in their lives where important moments fly by so fast they barely have time to enjoy them? Well, this wasn't one of them.

As Annie barreled her way towards Frankie, you saw in slow motion how his handsome face went from being creased with worry, to eyebrow raised shock, to breaking out in a teary smile. He had just begun to crouch down and open his arms in anticipation of holding his little girl when instead she ran right past him and locked herself in one of the sheds.

Time continued to move in slow motion, making it all the more heartbreaking watching your boyfriend's face crumple, the tears of joy turn to tears of pain as he recovered from his initial excitement and realized that his child didn't want to see him.

Tiny, muffled sobs broke the moment and brought time, and the horrible situation, back into focus. The Child Protective Services worker who had accompanied Annie from California was calling apologies to Frankie while running after the little girl, trying not to slip in the snow in her hurry.

You wanted to go to him, to lend him some form of comfort, but you were also aware that some types of grief don't appreciate witnesses. Deciding to stick around and be helpful in the background, you made your way into the loft and started making coffee and sandwiches, foreseeing a longer stay for the caseworker than initially thought.

Nearly forty minutes had passed before you emerged again with food and drinks on a tray and the two adults were still talking to Annie through the cracks in the door. She had stubbornly refused to come out, demanding that she be returned to her home at once and that she hated snow.

Once you had set down the tray and cleared the snow off a picnic table, Frankie thanked you with a kiss to your temple and introduced you to Sharon after he convinced her to take a break from the negotiations. Sharon, who had been with Annie since the day of the accident, began filling Frankie in on what had happened to his daughter in the past month between sips of coffee. He was given a folder with notes from child psychologists, doctors, a letter from her maternal grandparents, and a journal Sharon had kept that described the ways Annie had been processing her grief.

While they talked, you decided to walk over and sit next to the door of the shed, laying a wool blanket down to protect your butt from the cold. You had no idea what to say to the girl but you figured she might like to be reassured she wasn't alone. Settling down, you dug into your own sandwich and hummed quietly to yourself.

You nearly choked on your next bite when you heard a soft voice singing along with the tune you'd chosen.

"Lavender blue, dilly dilly. Rosemary Green, if you are king dilly dilly, I'll be your queen."

After you'd repeated the song twice more, you stopped the tune and said softly,

"I've never heard those lyrics before, they're different from how I learned them."

A long pause followed, making you worry that you'd offended the child back into silence.

"How do you sing it?" Came the sweetest little voice, made all the more adorable with the barest hint of a lisp.

"We always sang, 'Lavender green', for one. Which never made any sense to me so I really like how you did it-"

"Yeah, cause lavender is another name for purple," she interrupted you with a matter-of-fact tone, "saying it's green is just weird!"

"Hmmm, it might be different," you conceded, seeing the opportunity for a lesson. "But either way you sing it, it's still a really pretty song, isn't it? Things can be different but it doesn't mean one is only good and one is only bad. Each version just had different good things."

Annie went silent again but this time you didn't worry about it, you knew she was thinking about what you said and needed time to apply it to what was happening right now. You eventually heard the shifting of metal and the creak of wood and had to will yourself to sit still and calm. The way you had let her approach you had worked so far, jumping up out of excitement could possibly erase all the progress you'd made so far.

Your patience was rewarded when Annie stepped out of the shed and lowered herself so that she was sitting on the blanket right next to you. Turning your head just enough to see her in your peripheral, you noticed how dull her eyes looked. Her hair was a mess and her skin looked pale for a kid who had been living under California's sun.

"My mommy is dead."

The way it was stated as a fact, with very little emotion, broke your heart. She was so little, so young, and so unable to fully grasp what kind of future had been ripped away from her.

"I know, I'm sorry that that happened to your mom."

"That man is my daddy." She was pointing at Frankie now, who was still engrossed in his conversation with Sharon.

"He's a pretty lucky guy to have you."

"That's the lady who has been taking care of me, she's been nice."

You were a bit out of your comfort zone with the conversation but there was no way in hell you were going drop it so you cautiously trudged on. Maybe verbalizing relationships and titles was helping her process?

"I'm very happy to hear that you've been staying with someone nice. Your dad is a really nice person, too, ya know? You should see the nice bedroom he's set up for you! I even helped him bake you an apple pie. Do you like apples? Or pie?" Her eyes went wide and a spark of happiness suddenly lit her face, making her appear more childlike than before.

"Is this an apple farm?" She practically squealed. “Like in My Little Pony?!”

Her outburst had finally drawn the attention of the other two adults, who were now only realizing that Annie had exited the shed. Frankie's heart skipped a beat at the sight of his two girls, beaming at each other. The twinge of jealousy from knowing that it had been you to draw her out was quickly squashed by how proud of you he was. He had been a little worried, although he hadn't voiced it, that his kid wouldn't take kindly to having a woman around but those fears were obviously for naught.

Part Fourteen 

[galactic-magick]

As Long As I’m With You: Agnes/Agatha Harkness x Reader

Request: Hi, can you please do where Agnes (a villain) saves fem reader's life because she has feelings for her? In the end they end up together // also took some ideas from this request

Summary: You’re accused of witchcraft in your village, and a mysterious beautiful witch comes to your aid.

Words: 2200+

Warnings: fem reader, Agatha is low key evil so she hurts some people, a swear word, reader has an angsty past

Author’s Notes: This can be read as either a standalone fic or as a prequel to my other fic “Spell Practice.” I took quite a lot of creative liberty with this, hopefully that’s alright. Also disclaimer I am in no way a history expert so even though this is set in like the 1500s-1600s it’s probably very inaccurate, but it’s fanfic so anything goes right?

Taglist: @nyx-aira​ @midnight-lestrange​ @thestrangeundoing​ @thegayances @sleep-deprived-athlete @dr-robotnik-said-hella​ @fallingfor-fics @p-nymph​ @thelanawinterrs @sunproud​ (if your tag didn’t work it might be bc your blog isn’t searchable so make sure that’s on so you’re notified of future fics!)

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-

-

You had no idea how much your life would change when you left your house that day.

It started out with a simple run to the market and the garden to get what you needed for supper that night, a job that almost always falls to you. You don’t necessarily mind getting away from your family and talking to some people in town, but it’s clear that your family doesn’t want you in the house as much as possible either.

It’s gotten to the point where they’re just looking for a reason to get rid of you. You’re a disappointment, after all. You refuse to marry in order to help your family’s status, even though you’ve gotten a couple offers. You counter your parent’s rules and ideas every chance you get, no matter how much they tell you you’re crazy. They belittle you constantly, saying your dreams are worth nothing and you’ll have to be dependent on them forever if you never submit to the role in society you’re supposed to.

Obviously bullying you out of their lives wasn’t working, so they’ve moved on to spreading rumors about you and setting you up for crimes. None have worked yet, of course, but every day you fear they’ll get too close.

Until you get burned at the stake, though, they’ve given you basically every responsibility of the house. You do all the shopping, cooking, and farming, as well as taking care of your younger siblings. You wonder what they’d do without you, despite how much they seem to want you gone.

As you’re buying a few crops and eggs from your neighbors, you swear you see something move. You turn around and see a little boy floating in the air, screaming.

You drop everything in your arms and reach up to him, trying to grab him and help him down, but he keeps flailing, and his screams start to feel directed at you.

“Hey! It’s okay! Let me help you!” you hold your hand up, speaking as calmly as you can. “I’m not going to hurt you,”

“WITCH!” a man yells as he sees you. “SHE’S A WITCH!”

Everyone around turns and watches you.

“No! No! I’m not the one doing this! I’m trying to help!”

“Let him down and maybe we’ll wait to kill you til tomorrow!” someone else demands.

A couple people march towards you to grab you, and all you can think to do is start running.

You race out of the center of town into the trees, and about five men chase after you. You keep going until it feels like your legs are going to give out and you can barely breathe, but they keep coming.

“Please! Please stop! It wasn’t me I swear!” you cry. “I don’t know what was happening!”

“Shut up, girl,” one grunts. “Your father always said there was something wrong with you, makes sense that you’re a witch!”

“What’s so wrong about witches?” a female voice calls.

You and the men spin around, trying to figure out where it came from.

Before you can blink there’s purple smoke surrounding you, and the men are thrown against the trees. They’re knocked unconscious instantly, but you remain standing and untouched.

“Who are you?” you ask, your voice quivering.

“Don’t be afraid, my dear,” the smoke starts to fade and you can make out her silhouette, then eventually her face. “I’m here to help you,”

She’s beautiful. You’ve never seen someone that immediately feels so friendly, so different in all the best ways.

“It’s alright to stare, I know I’m quite a sight,” she laughs. “I’m Agatha,”

“I’m Y/N,”

“Ah, yes, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of you,” she smiles. “Everyone in the village can barely stand you,”

“Thanks…?” you’re not sure how to respond, especially after all that just happened. “Wait, if you live in my village, why have I never seen you? And how come you’ve never gotten caught using magic?”

“Memory spells, of course,” she shrugs. “Now, let’s get you somewhere safe, alright?”

You nod, and she wraps an arm around you. She takes you deep into the forest until you reach a small house, the glimmer of the fire peering through the windows.

You settle down on a chair while she makes some tea and food. She offers you a blanket and hands you the cup and plate, sitting down across from you.

“So how long have you been practicing magic?” she asks.

“Oh…I…well actually I don’t know how to use any magic,”

“Really? Why were the witch hunters after you then?”

“I was set up, I think,” you say. “There was a little boy floating in the air, and since I was near him they thought it was me. But I wasn’t doing anything,”

“Well,” Agatha sips her tea. “Sometimes magic can manifest itself subconsciously. Maybe you were doing it but didn’t realize it. It’s quite common,”

“But…how would I have magical powers? I’ve never learned it from anywhere,”

“Some people are just born with the gift,” she grins.

You exhale, thinking over what she said. Could it be true? You’ve been a witch all your life without even knowing it?

 -

 That night, Agatha conjures another bed for you to sleep in. But even though she made it as comfortable as she possibly could, you can’t get a wink of sleep.

You lift off the blanket and wrap it tightly around you, getting up slowly and quietly. You walk outside and sit against a tree, looking up at the stars.

You’re sure your family has heard the news by now. Their disappointment of a daughter is finally gone, accused of witchcraft. It seems that the foreseeable future will be spent with Agatha, the only safe person you have.

You wonder just how much she already knows about you. She mentioned she’s heard people gossiping about you all the time in town, yet she still saved you after hearing all those negative things.

Why is that?

“Can’t sleep?”

You jump at her voice, and she chuckles a bit at your reaction.

“Sorry,” you sigh. “I just have a lot to think about from today, I guess,”

“No worries,” she sits down beside you. “So do I,”

“Agatha,” you say. “Why did you save me?”

“Us witches have to stick together. I saw you were in trouble, so I saved you,”

“But you knew, didn’t you? You’ve known I was a witch long before this, didn’t you?”

“I had my suspicions,” she agrees. “Whenever I heard people talk about you, I figured you weren’t like everyone else. But I didn’t know for sure until today,”

“I wish you had taken me before,” you huff, a few tears falling down your cheeks. “It’s been so bad, Agatha, feeling worthless just because you’re different, everyone hates you…”

She pulls you into her shoulder, letting you cry into it, “I know, dear, I know,”

 -

 It takes you a while to come to terms with your potential powers, but as soon as you’re ready Agatha begins to teach you how to use them. You spend your days studying her spell books and practicing simple spells, most of which you fail at.

She encourages you as much as possible, explaining to you that magic is not something you can learn overnight, sometimes not even over years. She tells you that she’s actually thousands of years old (a surprise to you due to her stunning looks) and she’s been practicing for much of that time, and there’s still some spells she hasn’t mastered.

Your impatience still gets the better of you most days, though. You can’t imagine waiting several centuries to get something to work, if you get it to work at all.

One day you’re sitting at the table, trying out a simple transfiguration spell. You wave your hand repeatedly at a potato, hoping to turn it into an apple. It doesn’t even wobble, not even a single spark, but you’ve been sitting here for hours and don’t want to give up just yet.

You nearly fall asleep from exhaustion when all of a sudden it happens. It works.

There’s an apple in front of you. Not a potato, an apple.

“Holy shit!” you scream. “Agatha! I did it!”

You run over to her and point at your small accomplishment.

“Look at you go, darling!” she smiles, hugging you. “At this rate you’ll be changing rocks into cats before you’re 200!”

You laugh, “Oh come on, this is literally just one of the beginner spells,”

“So what? That’s where everybody starts,”

You break out in giddy excitement again, jumping up and down a bit and looking back and forth just to make sure your creation is still there.

Without thinking, you kiss Agatha quickly on the lips.

She stares at you, mouth open.

Before you can apologize, she grabs your face and kisses you hard. She’s everything you’d imagined and more, soft and warm but with a spark you can’t ignore.

When you finally break apart, her hands linger, brushing across your features and in your hair, “I’ve been waiting to do that,”

 -

 Things change after that, but in only the best ways.

Agatha isn’t just your mentor anymore, the only friend who came to your aid.

She’s your everything now, a soulmate, your home.

You tell her all about your life, and she tells you all about hers. As she has significantly more stories to tell, you’ll fall asleep many nights to her whispering all the legends she lived through that no one else knows are true.

She makes you laugh every day, and makes sure you always know how much she cares about you. There’s only so much you can do in your hidden home in the woods, but with magic the possibilities are endless and she’s never short of romantic ideas.

Tonight you find yourself lying your head in her lap while she plays with your hair, close to the fire so you can watch the little shows she creates with the flames.

“What about love?” you ask.

“What about it?”

“Out of all the stories you’ve told me, you’ve never mentioned being in love before,”

“Well,” she sighs. “That’s because I haven’t been,”

“Why not?”

“It’s just never appealed to me,” she says. “Until I met you,”

“Oh,” you grin, looking up at her.

She leans down to kiss you, but you’re broken apart by a loud noise outside.

You shoot up, looking at Agatha in pure panic. Your heart races as the noise gets louder and louder, eventually leading to shouting and knocks at the door.

“WE FOUND YOU!” a booming voice yells.

“Aggie?” you whisper. Everything crumbles around you. Your perfect, happy life, now about to be stolen from you. You have no idea how they found you, if you are about to be dead, if you’ll be able to defend yourself at all.

She kisses you and stands up, “Stay here. I’ll take care of it,”

With a fling of her fingers the door flies open, and the torches the townspeople are holding are burnt out. She smirks, purple smoke covering the area as she goes through them one by one, some just throwing to the side and others suffering a painful death.

She turns their own weapons against them, their own people against them, and makes them regret everything they’ve ever done.

When she returns to you, you’re still in so much shock and panic you couldn’t tell exactly what she was doing.

“Did you…kill all of them?”

“They got what they deserved for threatening us,” she says nonchalantly. “But we’re not safe here anymore. It’s time to find somewhere new,”

“Okay,” you nod as she pulls you against her. “As long as I’m with you,”

“I’ll always protect you, even when you learn enough to protect yourself,” she kisses your forehead. “Always and forever,”

 APPROXIMATELY FOUR CENTURIES LATER

 “I’m back, darling!” Agatha calls, shutting the door behind her.

“How’d it go?” you run to her, grabbing her hands.

“Splendid, that poor Wanda already loves her new neighbor!”

“Wow,” you giggle. “You know I must say, this whole living in a sitcom thing isn’t that bad, you look gorgeous in that 50s dress,”

“Oh darling, somehow after all this time you still flatter me,” she pretends to fan herself. “I have to go back over real quick, alright? Gotta give her this spicy magazine,” she holds her hand up in the air and magically forms one in her grasp.

“Ah! Be sure to get some ideas to use on me when you get back,” she laugh.

“Oh I will honey,” she winks, kissing you before going out the door.

You settle on the couch, looking around at your home. Out of all the places you’ve moved to together, this was by far the weirdest. There’s no color, and everyone besides you and Agatha and Wanda are under some kind of mind control.

You never imagined that day all those years ago would bring you here, spending your life with a beautiful witch and being her partner in all things, even sinister ones. But you wouldn’t have it any other way, and you know this strange town will only bring you more opportunities to practice your magic and help Agatha with her plans.

[ratmonky]

Untamed Dog

Word Count: 10K

Warnings: non-con, major spoilers, predator/prey, biting, manipulation, gaslighting, breeding, blood and violence

AO3 Link

A gift to my friend and one of my favorite artists, @workofann​  

When King Fritz failed to retrieve his people to the island after the Great Titan War, all of the Eldians became slaves to Marley.

All of the nine titans were under the Marleyan army’s control, warriors who inherited one of the seven titans would receive the Marleyan title and a red armband along with the promise of a better life for their family even after their inevitable death.

The Wilbur family kept the Warhammer Titan and the Founding Titan was being fed to an ordinary Eldian family to keep it safe. Or rather keep Eldians in place, taking their hope of freedom away.

The remaining of the seven titans were hung down on a rope around a stick to trick Eldians into having power. Marley made Eldians believe that inheriting one of these titans could bring comfort to their life.

As long as someone inherited one of the titans, their entire family would live in comfort instead of poverty.

That silly promise worked. Since the many Eldians were living in poverty, they were willing to do anything to have a better life. Even if it meant to send their kids to death.

Eldian warriors started training from the moment they hit puberty and up until the moment they became adults. Only then, they were able to inherit the titans they were attained to.

In the hopes of living a better life, you were one of the many kids who had joined the warrior training program when you were little. You grew up in the army and experienced the destructive war from an early age.

You were lucky enough to be taken to the warrior candidate program later on. Which pretty much ensured your death but the impending truth that you were going to die for this country was honoring in a way. It was the least you could do, dying in the name of Marley was something you owed to them after everything devils like you made them go through.

In the end, it was all decided from the moment you were born with an armband to your left. Like many, you were carrying the blood of the titans, the curse of Ymir. To be freed from the shackles of the ‘devil’ title, you had to prove your loyalty to Marley. Dedicate your heart to your country.

You did.

So did your comrades.

However, only six of you could inherit one of the seven titans the Marleyan army used.

~~~

“My gear is totally dead,” you sighed, standing on top of the wall surrounding the enemy’s town that your comrades had destroyed, trying to take your eyes away from the mass of bodies scattered along almost every single inch of space, “I have no gas left.”

“Rookie mistake,” Jean snickered, trying to regain some humanity he had left. “We’ll go get some for you as soon as the others are done with the serum.”

It became silent.

“Is dinner or breakfast the most important meal of a day?” Connie asked to break the uncomfortable silence between his friends.

“Both,” Sasha answered without hesitation.

“No, you should only choose one and it’s obviously breakfast, moron,” Jean sighed audibly, looking down from the wall.

The rest of the people looked tenser than ever yet you still managed to offer the trio a smile before giving your answer, “I’d say it’s dinner. It’s where you and your family or friends are home, safe and sound. Dinner is like a blessing, in my opinion, don’t you think so, Jean?”

Jean met your gaze and blushed bright red before averting his eyes to look around himself rather than the bloodbath covering them everywhere.

“He hates his mom so he wouldn’t know,” Sasha spoke without thinking.

“Sasha!” Connie warned, trying to tell the airhead girl that it was a rude thing to say.

“We all eat dinner together,” you pointed out, “Breakfast is hard to eat together when each one of us has different chores but we all eat dinner together. We are family even without blood.”

“You’re right,” Connie gasped softly. “I never thought of it that way. I mean this about eating dinner together, of course. The family part is kinda weird though, you know since some of us will die no matter what.”

A cold breeze brushed their skin. Sasha anxiously started biting the inside of her cheeks.

“That’s why I think dinner is important.” You walked over to Jean and grabbed his bicep to pull him closer to the group. “At night, when we’re in the dining room altogether, eating and enjoying a meal together means that we’ve all made it through a day. We’re safe and alive, together.”

“I get it!” Jean pulled his arm free, “All this positivity won’t get you anywhere unless you stay on the lookout. We’re in the middle of a battlefield here.”

Only then the four of you came back to your senses. Connie had remembered why he had broken the silence. It was because his legs wouldn’t stop shaking or his jaw wouldn’t stop clenching. He shivered with the thought of what was going to happen soon.

Sasha remained silent yet anyone could tell how anxious she was with a single look in her direction.

Jean acted tough. He was worried but he knew better than to show weakness. He held his composure and even looked a little intimidating.

You on the other hand didn’t know what to feel or how to act. You weren’t sure why they were so worried. Even though you all had one more year left of your training, emergencies like this happened quite often. The Colossal Titan’s holder was about to die, so, of course, the Marleyan commander would order your commander to feed him to one of the only two candidates.

It was either going to be Armin or Bertholdt. One of them was going to become the Colossal Titan and the other one was going down a rank in the military to become a special force soldier.

It was that easy.

The weaker link had to leave. It was the rule of nature.

“You guys!”

You whipped her head around to see Reiner gliding through the air with his ODM gear to reach the top of the tall wall. He landed right beside you, looking rough and sweaty.

“Armin,” he breathed, “They gave the serum to him.”

Connie, Sasha, and Jean gaped but you were inanimate.

“He’ll be the colossal titan?”

“Yes, they’re going to kill us. It’s Eren and Mikasa’s fault, we’re screwed. Commander Erwin should have given the serum to Bertholdt!” Reiner gritted his teeth in anger. “Armin won’t be able to lead us anywhere-”

“Hey!” Jean pointed a finger at Reiner, “He’s the reason why most of us are alive. It was always him who saved us with his smart planning, alright?”

You nodded along while Sasha jumped down the wall to get to the other side of the opening so she could see what was happening. Connie followed after her right away.

“Bertholdt deserves the Marleyan title more than Armin,” Reiner confronted Jean.

The two of them were the only candidates for the Armored Titan, the way they were reacting and arguing was normal. In the future, it was going to be the same for them. Only one of them could inherit the Armored Titan. This argument was nothing but a desperate attempt to prove which one of them was worthy of a titan and ignore the impending truth.

It wasn’t how strong the soldier or how smart the soldier was. Marley didn’t choose its soldiers like that. They chose those who they could brainwash easily. The army wanted desperate young adults who were ready to dedicate their lives to a country that owed nothing to them.

It was nothing but pure manipulation. Destroying the lives of hundreds if not thousands of young people, just so seven of them could inherit these titans.

As the two of them were arguing, you walked to the edge of the wall, staring at the bloodbath of your enemies and titans, that would disappear in a couple of hours.

War Chief Zeke had gone a little berserk today with his titan but it was only normal. Everything had gone according to the plan, the rain of the titans was able to destroy most of the city while the Colossal Titan broke down the outer walls. Yet, nobody could foresee the enemy having the infamous titan spears. The Colossal Titan’s holder was hit by many of them, leaving him fatally injured. It was unfortunate that the last minutes of his life was here on the battlefield but it was one of the most fortunate things for the candidates who had enough time to be able to eat him.

Who deserved to be the Colossal Titan?

In your opinion, it should have been none of them.

Armin was smart, just like Bertholdt. however, they were both weak and childish.

You could guess that Armin was chosen only because Bertholdt still had some of his humanity left in him. Everyone knew he cried himself to sleep.

If you didn’t want to murder an entire country without remorse just so you could be blessed with that red armband, then you lost your chance.

Bertholdt should have known that.

Reiner probably knew that though but refused to believe the truth that was right in front of him. He was mentally unstable, making him the perfect new Armored Titan. Easy to manipulate, dumb enough to risk his entire being for the sake of Marley.

You took a deep breath to calm your senses and to block out the angry arguing happening behind you. There was a soft rumbling sound as you breathed out. At first, you thought it was your stomach thanks to the previous conversation with your friends about food but it was something louder.

Only then you realized that it was the faint screams of your enemies you had heard today, the memories of the loud squelching noises that happened when their flesh was being eaten by titans. It was all playing over and over and over again in your head.

Holding your hands up to cover your ears, you tried to block out the noises. Praying that they would stop but you were old enough to know prayers wouldn’t solve anything.

“(name),” Jean spoke through his teeth, he was still furious at Reiner. “Come on, let’s get you a new gas tank.”

You let your hands fall to your sides and walked towards him after turning around on your heels. The two idiots were having a staredown but as soon as you walked to the other edge of the wall, Jean wrapped an arm around you and jumped down. You held onto him briefly as he aimed his grappling hook towards a building on the verge of collapsing, at that moment he said something he shouldn’t have.

“People who obsess over the Marleyan title like that won’t get anywhere in life.”

You nodded in response, the title meant so little but the power of a titan… It meant everything.

As soon as you changed your gas tanks, it was time to go.

The enemy had already surrendered and there was nothing else you could do here.

“You brats.”

Turning your head, you looked at your captain. Both you and Jean saluted Levi as he walked towards you with an angry look on his face. Here it was coming, he was going to scold you for hiding to avoid the clean-up after the battle.

“Where were you?” he demanded an answer more than he asked.

“Uhh, we were with… Sasha and Connie. We were just… um… waiting for Commander Erwin to be done with the serum and-”

“I’m not talking about that,” Levi cut off Jean’s rambling. “Where were you during the battle?”

“We fought with our assigned squad, sir. Squad Leader Hanji gave us the orders to kill enemies on top of the walls with the titan spears.” You spoke clearly, still saluting, unlike Jean.

“That glasses saved our ass again…” Levi muttered under his breath. He then told you to stand easy.

Relaxing your posture, you looked at Captain Levi in the eye. “Squad Leader Hanji said they noticed the enemy on top of the walls at the last minute. Although our response was quick, we still couldn’t make it in time to protect our precious warrior, sir. Shall we go to sleep without dinner tonight again?”

Jean’s eyes widened at your words in panic.

“No need,” Levi sighed, eyes softening at your words. Even after so many years together, you were still oddly respectful and obedient when it came to your commanders. “You brats did good, nobody from our squad died. That’s why you deserve a break.” He pulled out his pocket watch to check the time. “Tell the others in the squad to gather at the entrance. We’re going to have cars coming in to get us to the harbor.”

“What about Eren?” you asked, knowing that he was most definitely with his friend right now.

“He’s my responsibility, you two should worry about getting everyone in the cars within an hour. If we don’t leave in time, we’ll have to take that shitty train.” Levi dismissed the two of you with a wave of his hand. “See you on the ship.”

“Yessir!”

“Yeah, sir!”

As soon as your commander walked away, Jean pointed a finger at your face threateningly. “You better stop that! Playing that obedient soldier thing is soooo dumb! You were gonna make us all sleep hungry again!”

“Well, I have to show them that I respect my country and army. When you show them respect, you get extra points. They think I’m a better candidate for the titan than that guy.” You were grinning from ear to ear. “That’s how you win, Jean.”

~~~

You were able to gather everyone at the entrance within an hour. The car ride took barely an hour but felt like hours thanks to your sore body.

In front of the ship, Squad Leader and War Chief stood next to each other as they were telling you and Annie about which rooms of the ship belonged to your squads.

“Make sure to get some rest.” Zeke took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. “It’ll be a long trip until we make it home.”

“The monkey’s right! Get extra rest and eat lots! We asked Niccolo to make some warm food so better hurry up before it gets cold!!” Hanji crossed their arms over their chest with a large smile after giving you both the information papers about the ship and the schedule. “Good job on today’s battle!”

“Don’t praise them too much,” Magath said, appearing behind you. “We almost lost the Colossal Titan today.”

“Come ooooon, Magath, cut the young adults some slack! The Colossal Titan is in the right hands now. If you’re worried about Armin not being ready for the next battle, don’t worry!!! He will go under my titan training once we get back to Marley.” Hanji walked towards the General and put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll sort it out!”

“Don’t touch me, devil.” Magath pushed their hand away.

While the two of them were about to argue, Zeke gestured with his head for you and Annie to walk away before you got caught up in it.

“You weren’t there for the cleanup mission,” Annie noted right away. “I had to carry all the corpses because Reiner was freaking out about Bertholdt.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I don’t have an excuse so I promise I’ll help you next time.”

She waved her hand towards her squad. “I bet you will.”

You noticed her smiling and scoffed while you gestured your own squad to come towards you. “I keep my word.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. You better learn to keep your squad in control, your idiots are more manageable than Reiner. You’re lucky to have those candidates with you.”

“You’re right. My idiots are easier to handle but that doesn’t mean they will inherit the titans. We’re a shitshow, your idiots have the courage, mine don’t.”

“We’re right here, (name),” Connie deadpanned and walked past you towards the ship after grabbing the paper you handed out to him.

“We have to train hard if we wanna be anything like these monsters,” you yelled after him but he was shaking his head, refusing to listen.

“Monsters?” Pieck raised a brow as she took a paper from Annie. “Is that what you think of your comrades, (name)?”

“No,” you said. “We spent all those years training altogether yet nobody from my squad can be compared to any of your strength.”

Pieck nodded languidly but Porco put a hand on her shoulder to push her forward. “Keep moving, we have to get food before that pig.” He gestured towards Sasha who stood at the end of the line with a worried look on her face, waiting impatiently for her turn to get on the ship.

“I’ll keep her busy, you guys should head inside.” You were smiling at them.

Pieck chuckled before leaving. “You’re too considerate for a warrior.”

“Uhh, where’s Armin and Eren?” Jean asked while taking the paper from you. He checked the planning and the schedule briefly.

“I don’t know, Captain Levi told me he would bring them here later,” you answered.

“Keep it moving, horse face,” Ymir shoved Jean away to grab one of the papers before walking away. “Good luck with the potato girl, (name).”

You looked at Annie who was already done handing out papers and was walking inside with her squad. Reiner was walking beside her, head down and shoulders slouched. He was still upset over Bertholdt losing against Armin.

“Um… Can we go inside now?” Sasha asked after ten minutes of standing outside.

“No, we’re waiting for uhh…. Armin.”

She sighed audibly and clutched on your arm. “You were right, dinner is the most important meal of the day… I’m so hungry, (name). Let’s go eat. Armin will find his way to the ship nonetheless if we wait for him… Please…”

Okay. Perhaps you could let her go now. Others must have gotten their food and all.

“You’re right, let’s-”

Sasha left your side and ran inside the ship without letting you finish your sentence. Sometimes, you wished you could be as honest as her. Life would be so much easier.

“(name).”

You stood at attention, keeping your head up.

“Commander Erwin!”

“At ease.” He looked around before speaking. “Is everyone from your squad inside?”

“No sir. Armin isn’t here. Eren from Annie’s squad isn’t here either.”

“Hmm, Levi will be bringing them here. We’re waiting for their car to arrive with the special force soldiers.” He put a hand on your shoulder and spun you around to pat on your back, pushing you forward. “Now, go inside and get some rest.”

You didn’t need to be told twice.

When you arrived at the dining compartment, Sasha was eating next to Niccolo who was still serving food. You walked over to the duo and the chef gave you a tray of food. “Good work today.”

“Thanks,” you replied and joined the rest of your squad on a table.

“I’m telling you, when I become the Cart Titan, I will have all of the ladies coming after me!” Connie smirked, “Everyone wants to get married to a Marleyan Warrior so they can live an easy life.”

“So you accept that no woman would tolerate you unless you have a red armband?” Ymir laughed. “Oh man… you are pathetic.”

The color drained from Connie’s face and he sat in silence.

“Besides,” Ymir said as you were taking the seat next to hers, “You’ll lose the Cart Titan against Pieck. That woman is unmatchable.”

You nodded to agree.

“Hey,” Jean hissed, slamming his cutlery on the table. “We’re all candidates. There’s no way of knowing who will get chosen and who will not be-”

“We’re the Paradis Squad, Jean,” Ymir groaned. “We’re the castaways, the second options, or better yet, we’re the backup plan for the Marleyan military.”

“Keep your voice down,” you shushed her.

“What? It’s the truth and nobody will hear us with the rumbling coming from the engine of the ship. We all know Armin got chosen to inherit the titan only because Bertholdt was a crybaby.” She took a bite from her bread and chewed slowly to speak at the same time. “That’s why you have to work harder than that Monkey Squad to be able to inherit whatever titan you're a candidate for.”

She was right but you needed her to shut up. The rest of the idiots hadn’t caught up with how unfair this candidate game was. Not yet.

“So you don’t wanna inherit the Jaw Titan?” Jean asked the most stupid question he could have.

“Why would I be in the military and become a candidate if I didn’t want to inherit the Jaw Titan?” Ymir was smirking widely, taunting the guys who saw as weak.

“But you keep saying we have no chance against those elite guys,” Connie whined.

“Oh, I will inherit the Jaw Titan. That Porco guy cannot even fight properly.” She had a dangerous glint in her eye as she glowered at Porco. He was omitting to her stare whilst eating next to Pieck.

“This isn’t a fair competition,” you added, tightly gripping your fork to stop the shaking of your hands. “You have to give it your best to win or it’ll all be for nothing. You’ll end up in the special forces and remain a devil in the eyes of Marleyans forever.”

“Dontcha worry, (name),” Ymir chirped, changing her tone effectively as she put her arm over your shoulder to pull you close. “You’ll inherit your titan. You’re the only one between these idiots who deserves to be a titan warrior.”

“Are you dumb?” Connie raised a brow. “(name) will never inherit a titan as long as War Chief is the Beast Titan.”

“He doesn’t get to decide who’ll inherit the titans. It’s Magath and the other Marleyans.” Jean spoke, his voice was blank, devoid of any emotion. “I thought our commanders decided which one of us it’d be when the time came but… apparently it’s the Marleyans who choose everything regarding if we’re inhumane enough.”

“Ah.” You could see it in his face. He was putting the pieces together slowly. After almost seven years in the military, he was finally grasping the bitter reality and the harsh truth of the future. “You realized that Armin wasn’t actually chosen for his talents, huh?” There was silence before you spoke again. “If you want to inherit a titan, you need to rid yourself of your humanity.”

Jean nodded knowingly and took a sip from his water with shaky hands.

It was half an hour later when the ship finally moved forward. It could only mean one thing… They were here.

Everyone except Ymir got up from their seats in the dining compartment. Seconds later the famous trio and Bertholdt walked inside.

“Armin!” Jean walked up to his comrade and hugged him while the other squad was welcoming their friend. “You’re too lucky!”

“Yeah, man! He’s gonna be treated like a celebrity now,” Connie was smirking as everyone from your squad started crowing around the blonde.

Armin blushed faintly, “I’m still me.”

“How does it feel?” you asked, curious if his body was going through any changes.

“Um, I don’t know.”

“Hey, where’s your red armband, huh?” Connie pointed at Armin’s yellow armband.

“He’s gonna get it when we get back home,” Eren replied instead and pushed his friend forward. “Now move away, we are starving.”

“Eren,” Mikasa warned, her eyebrows furrowing. “Everyone is excited, he’s the first one between you all to inherit a titan.”

Eren ignored her and walked towards the table Niccolo was serving food with Armin.

“He’s probably jealous. He just won’t admit it,” you reassured and patted on Mikasa’s back. “We’ll handle it, don’t worry.”

She nodded slowly and met your gaze. “Thanks.” After that, she reluctantly had to leave to join the special force soldiers in their own department.

Bertholdt was here for the last time, saying goodbye to his comrades. Soon, he would join Mikasa in the special force and if you were not careful you would too.

One year. Only one year left of your seven-year candidate program. Only one year until you inherited a titan or lost everything.

Anything could happen and things could go south. Just as today or when War Chief inherited his titan a couple of years ago.

Connie put a hand on your back and led you back to the table. You sat in between Ymir and Eren. The other three guys sat on the opposite side. Sasha was still busy devouring the food her supposedly lover had made for her.

“Shouldn’t you sit with your own squad?” you said jokingly.

“It’s none of your business.” Eren started eating, ignoring Jean who started scolding him for talking rudely.

Well, you knew he was upset that Armin inherited a titan before himself. The fact that his friend was stronger than him now hurt his ego and superiority complex.

“You should at least try to get along with people,” you said softly.  “After this year, we won’t be forced to hang out together anymore.”

“I am here to kill all of my enemies, not make friends.” Eren had never changed from the day he joined the candidate program. He was always hot-headed and full of an ego that couldn’t be humbled. In these seven years, he hadn’t once actually tried working together with anyone. He acted like he was better than anyone else. “It’s because of your stupid airhead that the Colossal Titan’s inheritor got injured. If only you paid more attention to the war, Armin wouldn’t have lost a year of his training.”

“Hey!” Jean raised his voice, “It was nobody's fault. Don’t go accusing people for no reason.”

His attitude was finally getting to you, making you drop your facade for the first time in years. “Actually, the Colossal’s holder got injured because of you. It was all your fault. If you hadn’t gone into a rampage like you always do, we would have noticed that the enemy had titan spears on top of their walls.”

Your comrades all stopped eating, Ymir was giving you a look for you to shut up and Connie was kicking you under the table. “You really went and said it,” Jean groaned.

Eren continued eating despite how badly his hands were trembling from anger.

“(name), let’s not start a fight,” Armin whispered but his advice went unheard.

“You know you don’t belong in the military,” Eren suddenly laughed. “Everyone thinks that you don’t belong here.”

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” you firmly answered. “This is the only place I belong.”

“You don’t belong in the military,” Eren insisted. “Don’t lie to your comrades.”

“Oh, now we’re comrades?” You glared at him and put your hand over your heart. “I pledged loyalty to serve Marley.”

“We all did.” Eren waved his hand dismissively. “There’s nothing special about you. I am here to kill all of my enemies, you’re here so you can live rich. That’s why I will inherit the Attack Titan and you won’t.”

For a single moment, your face showed pure panic at what he had just said.

“You really think that way?” Ymir forcefully scoffed, “What now? We’re all useless-?”

“You are. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be in this squad. You’re all nothing but a second choice.” Eren lifted his gaze up to Armin. “He is the smartest of them all, the Colossal Titan never needed a fighter. It needed a brain.”

Ymir’s smirk dropped and she let out a low sigh of discomfort. Jean and Connie were glowering at Eren while you were humbled by him once again.

You tend to forget how you actually were nothing. Titans needed a fighter, Marley needed a fighter. The Attack Titan needed a fighter.

You were only smart, you couldn’t fight as well as Eren and you weren’t a natural-born leader like him.

Against him, you had no chance of winning. This wasn’t about who was the smartest, the most powerful, or the most inhumane. Each titan needed something specific. The Colossal needed a brain, the Female needed strength, the Armored needed wrath, the Jaw needed speed, the Cart needed stamina and the Attack Titan needed… a leader.

Are you a leader?

“I will inherit the Attack Titan.” Your voice quivered but you stood tall and proud.

“You have no chance of winning against me.” He was confident, rightfully so.

It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair that you were in this situation, it wasn’t fair that Eren Yeager was going to destroy your life. It wasn’t fair that you were the one who got hurt all the time.

“You don’t belong in the military and you don’t belong here with us.” Eren put down his cutlery, nobody else dared to speak.

You were getting angrier and starting to tremble in rage. “I’m sorry but I’m not willing to run away from my responsibilities like you.” Your brows furrowed and your teeth were clenched as you practically yelled, “I will inherit the Attack Titan no matter what.”

Eren scoffed as he was looking at your eyes that were burning with rage, “Good luck, then.”

~~~

You were going to kill him.

“Don’t think much about it,” Ymir said.

“Y-yeah, he’s saying all that because he thinks he’s the strongest.” Sasha was trying her best to come up with words that would sound comforting but it was hard. She wasn’t present during your argument.

“He’s confident because his brother is the Beast Titan,” you hissed. “Zeke got lucky. If Mr. Ksaver hadn’t had a heart attack, he wouldn’t be here. If only the other candidate wasn’t away… Then he wouldn’t be the Beast Titan.”

“Hey,” Ymir warned. “Don’t say things that can get you in trouble.”

“Says the girl who bad mouths everyone.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

“A-anyway!” Sasha pulled the sheets over her head, “Let’s just sleep! You’ll forget about this tomorrow.”

“I agree with the piggy for once.” Ymir reached towards the candle and blew it out. “Goodnight, you two.”

“Goodnight,” Sasha murmured happily.

You were silent.

There had to be a way to get Eren out of the picture.

~~~

You couldn’t sleep, even though both Ymir and Sasha had already passed out. Today was exhausting for everyone yet every time you closed your eyes, you were seeing Eren getting the Attack Titan.

Kicking off your sheets, you jumped out of your bed to take a walk and calm yourself.

As soon as you left the room, you started wandering in the ship without a destination in mind. Without realizing it, you kept walking to the deeper, darker parts of the ship where there wasn’t a single light on. However, thanks to you being discalced, you could feel it when the floor under your feet changed height or direction. It helped you get around the tight hallways but you still had no idea of your whereabouts nonetheless.

Maybe it was a bad idea to be wandering around.

That was until you heard a sound that shook you internally. Your head whipped to the right, a large metal door was inviting you.

You could hear the familiar voices of people and hushed yelling from the other side of the door. Out of curiosity, you pressed your ear onto the door to listen.

“- stop causing trouble before they kick you out. If you don’t get the Attack Titan all of our parents’ efforts will all be for nothing.”

“You say that as if I won’t inherit the titan.”

That was… Those were the Yeager brothers.

“That girl, she’s obedient. She will get the upper hand if you don’t get your act straight, Eren.”

“It doesn’t matter if she gets the Attack Titan, you can give me your spinal fluid and I’ll eat her.”

“Eren!” A slam. You flinched, covering your mouth to keep quiet. Zeke had slammed his fist on a table or a wall. “Enough innocent Eldians died. You have to prove yourself worthy and earn the Attack Titan. Hanji and Erwin found who Marley was feeding the Founding Titan to. It’s some poor family by the outskirts of the city. We finally have all of the information we need. All you have to do is follow the plan.”

“The plan is that I inherit the Attack Titan, it doesn’t matter how I do it.”

Your heart was pounding, a cold sweat slicking your skin as you continued listening to them in terror. Did they want to betray Marley?

They were…

They were traitors.

“The plan is that you inherit the Attack Titan and become the symbol of hope for our people. If it weren’t for Levi or Mikasa, you wouldn’t be alive today. You need to prove to our people that you’re worthy of leading them to a better future. You must be convincing because nobody will riot against Marley if some bastard with anger issues eats the Founding Titan.” Zeke’s voice sounded conflicted. “Once you become the beacon of hope, you have to bring us peace. No more wars, Eren. We had enough wars.”

Eren spoke again after a long pause. “Do you think we should let them live after all they’ve done, Zeke?”

“Eren, we aren’t showing mercy to Marley. We are only ending the wars for our sake. Eldians have fought enough.”

Your eyes widened and a sickening smile spread across your face. This… This was your chance. You were going to become the Attack Titan. All you had to do was find a Marleyan, Magath… Anyone!

Taking a step back, you took a quick look around you before starting to walk further down the hall. As long as you revealed the truth about the Yeager brothers, you would inherit the Attack Titan. They were going to be banished and hopefully, executed. You were speeding down the hallway, keeping your hand on the wall to use it as a guide.

You couldn’t believe it, they were planning to betray Marley and eat the Founding Titan. Why would they even do that? You didn’t know and didn’t need to know. All you knew was that now, you were guaranteed to inherit the Attack Titan.

No matter how long you walked, you never came to the end of the hallway.

What if Commander Erwin, Captain Levi, and the Squad Leader Hanji were in it too?  

What about Mikasa and Armin? Were they in this too?

If you snitched on the Yeager brothers would they kill all of your other comrades?

They wouldn't, right?

Honestly, they were all better off dead.

You walked for a few more minutes until you had worked up the nerve to make a run for it. Your palm was clammy as you kept sliding your left hand on the wall and, without looking back, you darted down the hallway praying to whoever was listening that it wasn’t a dead end and would lead you to Magath’s office.

You got lucky and came across the dining compartment. At least you were getting somewhere, you only had to keep running. For a while, you followed the wall around without stopping but when you saw a silhouette ahead of the hallway, you skidded to a stop.

In the dark, you couldn’t make out who it was but you continued walking, hoping that it was a Marleyan or anyone you could tell about the Yeager brothers and their plan of attacking Marley.

There stood a glorious Marleyan soldier, Yelena.

You were going to win.

A wild grin spread across your face and you took a step forward at the same time Yelena became aware of your presence.

“Good evening,” she said, you could hear the smile in her voice. “Mr. Yeager.”

Your own grin dropped and you felt a large hand landing on your shoulder, gripping you tightly.

“Yelena, I told you to keep on the lookout.” Zeke’s voice was calm despite being caught. “This one eavesdropped on me and my brother as it seems.”

Yelena did something you had never seen a Marleyan soldier do to an Eldian before and she saluted Zeke. “My condolences, sir. Shall I kill her?”

“What?” It was you, voice breaking and heart hammering in your ribcage. What kind of conspiracy was going on here? “Miss Yelena, we have to tell Magath about this-”

“No, it’ll bring too much attention to us. I’ll handle it,” Zeke ignored your words and replied Yelena instead.

The woman nodded and stood at ease. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Keep an eye on the hallways. I don’t need any more of these miscalculations.” Zeke’s hand moved to the back of your neck, he grabbed you tightly and turned around to walk away with you.

Your hands went to pry his hands off of you but it was futile, despite his looks, Zeke was stronger than you. As he was forcing you to walk the way you ran from, you spoke through your teeth. “I will kill you. I’m going to scream now and everyone will know that you-”

“We’re on a ship, (name). If I transformed right now, everyone would be dead. Everyone.” He was speaking calmly again but his grip around the back of your neck tightened, making you whimper in pain. “Do you want to risk it? I don’t think you would survive. Neither would anyone else other than Armin Arlert. If he managed to turn into the Colossal Titan before the ship sinks, that is.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” you hissed, biting back a sob.

“You don’t know where you stand just like Eren,” he sighed in irritation this time.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to betray Marley? Don’t you feel guilty of the things we devils have done to them?” You were spitting out your words, an animalistic snarl rose up from your stomach. “You traitors!”

“The war must end,” Zeke said. “What we’ve done to Marley in the past was unforgivable but the way we’re being used as weapons against other countries… We will always continue to repeat history if we don’t end the war. And-”

“I will inherit the Attack Titan and stop you all.” Your limbs started to shake violently, you tried twisting your body to escape his hold but it was all futile.

“Didn’t you hear my brother? I can turn him into a pure titan and feed you to him.” Zeke leaned in to whisper, his voice carried a dark promise. He was serious.

You didn’t dare to utter a single syllable more. Your bottom lip was trembling as the realization of how bad your situation actually was started to settle in.

What you had thought to be your advantage against Eren was going to get you killed. You had no idea how many people were involved in this. Yelena had saluted Zeke as if he wasn’t a devil. A Marleyan bowed down before an Eldian.

How dare she betray Marley like that? Eldians did nothing but cause wars, you were all the devils who killed. You were a curse, a waste of space and air. To earn your place in this cruel world, you had to dedicate yourself to Marley. And-

Oh, how amusing to think like a loyal dog.

A giggle escaped from your lips.

Zeke raised a brow but continued forcing you down the hallway until the two of you reached a door. He pushed the door open and shoved you inside before walking after you.

“This is your first chance to prove yourself to me,” Zeke spoke. You immediately knew he wasn’t talking to you.

Stumbling forward, you fell on the ground. You used your hands to push yourself up as the door closed, seconds later you heard it being locked.

“Devoted as usual, (name).”  Eren crouched in front of you and grabbed you by your hair to pull your head back. “Do you think Marley would care if you died? I think they’d replace you with one of the many other soldiers.”

“Eren,” Zeke sighed. “Are you listening to me?”

The younger brother hummed lowly in response but proceeded to glare at the terrified expression on your face.

“She’s been brainwashed from birth by Marleyan propaganda. Every Eldian in Marley is like her. Their thoughts and motives are all the same.” Zeke took off his glasses and wiped them with a handkerchief he took out from his pocket. “I want you to teach her the truth and prove yourself to be a true leader.”

“Why should I? Is it so we can keep her alive?” Eren scoffed, lips curling up into a smile. “I wouldn’t mind killing her now, throw her off deck and tell everyone else she jumped herself-”

“Eren.” Zeke was tired, so tired of all the killings. So tired of the wars and deaths. He wanted peace. He wasn’t made for fighting, Mr. Ksaver knew that but still gave him the Beast Titan. Mr. Ksaver believed that Zeke could lead the Eldians to peace. To a life without any wars or deaths. Zeke knew he could lead his people to freedom but he couldn’t fight. He wasn’t powerful enough to eat the Founding Titan himself. That was the only reason he needed Eren for.

Why father?

Why did you fail at parenting your sons?

Grisha raised Zeke with hatred for Marley and tried embedding that fighting spirit he wanted so much into the little Zeke but failed. Immediately after his mother, Dina’s death, Grisha married another woman and had Eren. Only then Grisha came back to his senses and raised his younger son with love.

Yet, Eren turned out the exact way he desperately wished Zeke would be like when he was raising him.

Ironic if not poetic.

He sent both of his sons to the candidate program and here they were; Zeke trying his best to speak some sense into Eren while all his little brother talked about was killing everyone.

Kill. Kill. Kill.

Wasn’t he tired of it all?

He returned to the present, barely a second had passed.

“If you can’t convince one Eldian woman to join our cause then you’re not befitted to inherit the Attack Titan. I can always find another candidate who will take orders.” Zeke’s tone was colder than ice. He put his glasses back on and glowered down at his younger brother.

Eren’s sinister smile faltered and he frowned. “Why does it matter?”

“Don’t you understand?” Zeke clapped his hands together, raising his voice. “How can I give you the power to lead all of the Eldians if you can’t even lead a single brainwashed woman?”

“Fine.” Eren’s grip around your hair tightened and he slammed your face onto the ground out of a sudden.

You tried breathing but when you inhaled you only tasted blood. Your nose was bleeding furiously and the pain was unbearable. A whimper escaped your lips, his attack had been too abrupt.

“Eren!” The older brother took a step forward to stop his younger brother.

“Get out, Zeke.” Eren lifted your face up from the ground to show your blood-covered face to his brother before slamming it back down with a ferocious smile.

“Don’t hurt-”

“What? I’m not killing her, I’m knocking some sense into her,” Eren replied nonchalantly, lifting your face up once again. He grinned at you and lied to your face. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just leave us alone.”

Zeke hesitated, his eyes were on you who was desperately trying to mouth something. The bottom half of your face was covered in blood and the stream of blood continued painting your neck and nightgown red.

“Don’t you trust me, big brother?” Eren knew what he was doing.

“Y-yes,” Zeke dragged a hand up his face, lifting his glasses in the process. He let his cold hand rest over his eyes and turned around on his heels. “I’ll be back in the morning, I’ll tell Yelena to guard this hallway.”

Your voice wouldn’t come out, your lips were trembling too much and the pain was overwhelming your senses.

When Zeke opened the door and closed it behind him, Eren lowered his face next to yours, “A slave to Marley, that’s what you are, (name). Loyal dogs like you disgust me. Do you bark when you’re told to? Won’t you bark for me?”

You used your entire strength into collecting all of your saliva and blood you had in your mouth on top of your tongue and spitting his face.

Your spit landed on his cheek and he looked unimpressed. He stared at you with boredom before shoving your face down onto the ground.

“I’ve always wanted to mess up your pretty face, (name).” He carded his fingers through your hair almost lovingly as you gargled in your own blood, coughing repeatedly. “Maybe if you were in the special forces, I’d have the chance-”

“You’re more pathetic than I thought,” you got over your coughing fit and spoke clearly. “Do you really believe people will betray Marley just because some egoistic guy with a superiority complex has the Founding Titan?”

Eren stopped petting your hair and flipped you over so he could watch your blood-covered face as you desperately tried to talk your way out of this. “I’m a slave to no one. I’m more of a leader than anyone alive,” he said as he glared at you.

“Yeah and for how long? Thirteen years? You’ll die when you’re thirty-three, what will be your biggest accomplishment?” you laughed at him. He was too stupid to see the bigger picture but you were going to make him see it.

“Bringing freedom to my people and-”

“What about Mikasa?” you asked, cutting his sentence short. You knew his weak point, you knew he treasured her. “Don’t you want to grow old with her?”

“Oh, her?” Eren hummed in thought. “She’s more of a loyal dog to me than anything.”

Your face contorted into something vile in disgust, the way he was dehumanizing her, your friend and comrade… It... It hurt more than it should have.

“You’re full of filth, nobody would let you lead them,” you gritted your teeth.

“You’re also full of lies. I can see right through you, we’re the same.” He grabbed your cheeks by the sides with a hand and squeezed them until your mouth opened from the force. He used his other hand to wipe your spit from his face and he spat in your mouth. “That goody-two-shoes act? You can charm everyone but me with that. I’m not stupid enough to fall for your lies.”

You gagged, wanting to spit his spit back out but he had pried your jaw open, it was impossible to get it out. You had to swallow.

Eren watched with sick amusement and you helplessly swallowed his spit.

Then, laughter filled the room.

It was you.

Raising a brow, he stared at you. Maybe, you were finally going insane.

“You can’t feel good about yourself unless you prove yourself to be the strongest, right, Eren?” You rolled over to try to get up from the ground. “It must feel good to be entrusted with leading some idiots into what you call freedom, huh? You must feel like a God!”

“Did I break you already?”

You wobbled as you got back up on your feet. The front of your nightgown was covered in blood and you could still taste your own blood, smell it too. You lifted your nightgown up to your face from the collar to wipe your nose.

“Break me? Maybe my nose but I’m smarter than you are. I can see everything clearly, I’ve been watching these people for years. I know who you are, a pitiful little kid trying to become the strongest to prove his worth. You’re never good enough, right?”

“You don’t know me, (name).” Eren was getting angry, your assumptions were upsetting him.

“I know you better than anyone else, Eren. You’re just a brat trapped in an adult’s body. You believe the answer is to kill all of your enemies and you’re worth nothing to anyone. Nobody likes you but your only two friends. One has already signed his contract to die and the other one is nothing to you, right? A pet as you said?” You were chuckling, taunting him to fight you even though you knew he was going to win. “I was at least smart enough to make them all trust me. If I become the Attack Titan, I will become a leader loved by everyone. I could carry out Zeke’s plan and follow orders better than you do. Don’t you think Zeke would love to have someone who obeys his orders to inherit the Attack Titan?”

His brows furrowed and he grumbled as he spoke. “You don’t believe our cause. Zeke won’t trust you.”

“Oh, now it’s your cause? I thought you were in it just to feel powerful! Are you just feeling threatened by me? Is it because you know I’m better than you?” you barked out a laugh, “You don’t know me at all, Eren.”

It was quiet for a long moment. He didn’t speak or move. Neither did you. Not until you decided it was time to end this.

“I’ll inherit the Attack Titan for you and carry out Zeke’s mission. You’re too much of a coward to obey simple orders because you’re way too narcissistic to listen to anyone other than yourself.” You grinned, your blood-stained teeth and lips looked eerie in the dark dim light of a candle. “I’ll lead my people to freedom.”

“You’re brainwashed. You only want to serve Marley.” He was trying to remind you of something so dumb, just an accusation without any real evidence.

“Did you believe all that because I said it?” You took a step forward, pointing a finger at him and giggling. “Do you really believe I would be a slave to some country or a person like you? I live for myself and I have the blood of the devil inside of me. I am a dog that can’t be tamed. But you, Eren Yeager, you’re nothing. Just a feral dog.”

“I’m going to kill you.” Eren took a couple of steps forward and brought his fist up in the air.

“Is that all you can do?” You started walking backward to avoid him. “Is that your solution to everything? Just kill the person who doesn’t agree with you? You’re talking about killing too much. Are you going to kill everyone but the Eldians to bring them peace? Is that your smartest plan? You’re pathetic.”

“I’m going to beat you until you can’t run your filthy mouth again.” Eren leaped forward and grabbed you by your nightgown, now, he had you in his hands. “Any last words?”

“I bet your father never told you he was proud of you. Is that why you’re obsessed with power-”

Crack.

You felt the burning pain on the side of your face that wrecked your nerves as his fist met your cheek. It completely knocked the wind out of you and you found yourself on the ground, your body bounced on the solid surface before blood splattered out from your mouth.

“Your face looks better when it’s battered up like this. Red is definitely your color, (name).” His tone was light, almost as if he was finally feeling himself. “And you said I didn’t know you!” He let out an airy chuckle.

Writhing in pain on the ground, you reminded yourself that the pain was temporary. If you let him win now, you would never be able to win against him.

“I’m not…” you groaned in pain before continuing your talk. “I’m not some special force soldier you can toy with. Those poor girls may be scared of you but I can assure you that you don’t scare me, not even one bit. You’re nothing but a man child in my eyes.” You stood back up, refusing to stay down. “You can mess with all the girls you want below your rank but the power you feel over them won’t last forever. It barely lasts two minutes, is what I’ve heard.”

Despite how much pain you were in, you smirked at him as he stood right in front of you, his height towering over yours.

“I’m going to wipe that smile off your face.” Grabbing you by the neck with one hand, he turned you around and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his hold but it was useless, you were far too exhausted and the earlier fight had taken the last bit of your stamina away from you.

Eren nosed some of your hair out of the way and breathed into your neck before taking a deep inhale. The sweet scent of you and your blood filled his senses, his eyelashes fluttered with unsettling joy.

“I bet,” he whispered, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “They won’t let you inherit the Attack Titan if you were pregnant.”

With that, he pressed himself against you and forced you to feel his growing bulge beneath his pants.

Your eyes widened and you fought back with renewed vigor, ferociously kicking and shaking your body. “I’ll kill you if you touch me, you bastard! Do you hear me? I’ll feed you to the dogs!!”

“No need for that, (name).” Eren squeezed the sides of your neck, pressing you harder against his body. “You called me a feral dog, right? I’ll fuck you like one.”

You shook your limbs trying to dig your nails into the skin of his arms to fight back but he stopped you with one single move.

Eren opened his mouth and let his teeth sink into the soft skin of your neck. A scream escaped your lips as he bit you harder until he tasted blood and wrecked all of your nerves. Your arms flailed uselessly by your sides before your entire body went limp.

His free hand moved up to knead the supple flesh of your breast as he continued biting you and rocking his hips into you.

Once he decided he couldn’t take it anymore, Eren took his hand away from your breast and hurriedly tugged down his pants. You whimpered and tried twisting your body away from him but his bite on your neck was like a predator’s, it didn’t let you move anywhere. Like a lion biting into a gazelle’s neck to keep it in place before ferociously devouring the poor animal, Eren was keeping you in place with his teeth only. He wasn’t going to stop, not until he proved his strength to you. Not until he devoured you whole.

Your plan had backfired.

He pushed you forward and both of you stumbled forward. You fell on all fours and he stayed on top of you, still biting into your neck. Growling, he hiked the thin skirt of your nightgown up using a single hand.

A pained sob left your lips. “Please, don’t.”

Eren smiled into the bite. He always knew how to get under someone’s skin, no matter how thick it was. He also knew that his threat of impregnating you was nothing but a way of humiliating you, reminding you of your place, the power he held over you, and how with a single move he could ruin your entire life.

You were the one who was nothing.

The real untamed dog was Eren. Not you.

At least, that was what he wanted to believe.

How childish.

He was nothing but a manchild.

Eren slid your underpants to the side and pulled his cock out. You sobbed as he lined himself up against your entrance.

“I will kill you. I will kill you. I will kill you-ahh-”

With a sharp thrust of his hips, he inserted the entire length of his cock inside you. He slapped his large hand on your mouth to keep you quiet but it still couldn’t stop your muffled screams echoing in the room.

He had been wanting to do this for so long. Just to shut you up and ruin you, to remind you of your place. Ahh, the power he felt right now was indescribable. It was as if he was on the tallest mountain in the world and nobody else could reach him. He was the strongest. The best. The leader. The Attack Titan’s next holder and Eldia’s new King.

In his twisted mind, he was the ruler of everything. Him having you around him like this and ravishing you only boosted his ego but the feeling of a small train of blood trickling onto his cock and down your thighs made him go berserk with a massive amount of power.

The thought of your helplessness as he took your innocence like this made him grow larger inside your cunt.

He started moving without giving you a chance to prepare yourself for his cock. Involuntarily moaning, you curled your toes and bit your lip to hold back your next moan.

Eren finally pulled his teeth away from your skin and chuckled as he tentatively pulled his hips back before abruptly slamming them forward. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

Placing both of his hands on your hips, Eren began fucking you frantically, putting his entire weight behind each thrust and stroking every spot inside of your walls. Your virgin walls started to take the shape of his cock, making you his perfect cock sleeve.

“You’re gonna regret this, Yeager,” you hissed but it broke into a moan as he mounted you completely, his hips moving with a frenzied speed, punching the air out of your lungs.

“So far, I’m enjoying it,” he whispered into your ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spine and causing your teeth to chatter rapidly. It was as if you were flung into a blizzard.

Your body wasn’t doing it because it was cold in the room. No. It was then, you felt it for the first time.

Fear.

He groaned in pleasure as he continued fucking you frantically like a rabid dog in heat. His pace was ruthless, each thrust of his hips was punishing and hit deep deep deep inside of your pussy.

You could feel the very shape and girth of him, he was embedding it into your memory. With each thrust, he was making sure that you wouldn’t be able to be fucked by anyone without thinking of him. You were only going to think of the smell of his sweat, the sharpness of his teeth, the shape of his cock, and his lingering, calloused hands. Nothing else.

Eventually, his animalistic pace slackened and his hips started to move staggeringly. He desperately tried stealing a few more thrusts to indulge in your warm and slick cunt by humping you like a desperate dog but your pulsating walls caught him off guard.

As your pussy clenched around his cock, he snapped his hips forward to bury his entire length inside of you. You gasped in unwanted pleasure when the tip of his cock prodded against your cervix, ready to paint your insides white.

Eren’s cock throbbed and thick spurts of his seed flooded your womb. You let out a horrifying sound and sobbed whilst the warm feeling spread across your belly. He pulled out to watch his cum drip out of your pussy with a sinister grin on his lips at the same time you felt tears streaming down your face.

He was cruel. Always had been. However, he had finally proved who was stronger between the two of you.

It was him, he was the strongest.

You had lost against the other candidate.

The most important of them all, you had lost your pride, all of that training you had gone through in seven years felt like it was for nothing.

“I will inherit the Attack Titan,” he declared, simple and to the point.

You nodded in response, throat clenching in despair as you cried in defeat.