#so i feel less inclined to change stuff around because. things occurred to me when they did for a reason lol

[alackofghosts]

...wrt yesterdays + today's prompts, honestly it takes me by surprise sometimes how much of the buildup + confession + first times for xyz are set in stone for ardbert/wol, when those are the kinds of things i'd usually rotate around in my head forever without settling on any one thing, because they were BY FAR the most enjoyable aspects of shipping for me. but now, with them, even the early stuff that i want to redraw, i just want to redraw to improve the quality lol, not to change the trajectory of anything... who am i...

[gamersonthego]

GOTG Review: Opus: Echo of Starsong

This is the third game in my Backlog Roulette series, where each month I spin a wheel to randomly select a game on my massive backlog that I must play (though not necessarily to completion). These wheel spins occur on the monthly preview episodes I co-host with my friends on The Casual Hour podcast. Video games can be anything — from a complex web of interactions in something like Crusader Kings, to the twitchy, fast-paced action of a Call of Duty, even to the chill vibes of A Little To The Left — but should they be? Can you think of a time when you were playing a game and thought “this might be better as a movie/book/comic/TV show?” Because that’s kind of where I am on Opus: Echo of Starsong.

Opus is billed as a text-driven side-scrolling adventure game, which, while technically true, seems a bit generous. Outside of its quite pleasing aesthetic elements (interesting characters, a well-realized world, striking visuals and sound design), the rest of the game feels…kind of like an afterthought. 

You can freely move your ship around space, but moving to a destination requires an amount of fuel equivalent to where you were last stationed.

In Opus, you travel around a solar system in a spaceship, talk to people and explore asteroids as you look for increasingly rare caves of lumen (the game’s energy source, basis for religion and handwaving catchall to explain literally anything). But all of these activities feel not just unfun, but so powerfully straightforward as to be mere busy work before the next story beat can be told. 

Driving your ship around the stars requires fuel, and going from place to place can trigger FTL/Oregon Trail-style events. Maybe you’ll run into some pirates and lose some armor plating. Maybe you’ll find a guy who will give you a material with which to upgrade your ship. Sounds like some juicy push/pull risk/reward so far, but you’ll quickly come to realize it all just finds a way to even itself out. You always seem to have just enough resources to get by, and if you don’t, you can be sure you will after visiting one or two more stations along the way. I couldn’t even tell you if completely running out of fuel or armor plating is a lose condition because you’re just not ever put in that position. 

The ship looks great, and the upgrades all show up cosmetically, but they don't really change the way you play the game.

You can upgrade your ship, sure, but you should know those upgrade aren’t really giving you a leg up or expanding your options: They’re just letting you keep up with the slightly higher numbers you’ll need for the next bit. Get a bigger fuel capacity? Lo and behold, your next destinations just so happen to be a tiny bit further out than before. Equip a part that gives you bonus points on your chance dice rolls? Now instead of a 2-in-6 chance, you have a 4-in-12. Lucky you.

Plus there’s the always fun “illusion of choice” dialogue options. Don’t expect any of your decisions to prove especially meaningful. Opus’s story, while well told, is not yours to tell, just to observe.

Even the game’s puzzles are devoid of challenge or interest. Move here. Select a thing. Move there. Select a thing. It’s less about “solving” anything, and more just going through the motions. 

This is about as puzzling as Opus gets. Just line up the white lines with the pillars.

Which leads me back to my main question — Why is Opus: Echo of Starsong a game if all the game stuff is so flat?

The answer isn’t complicated: When video game developers make something, it tends to be a video game. The same way a movie studio is more inclined to make a movie rather than write a book. And people end up having different strengths and weaknesses. The team at SIGONO happen to be pretty good storytellers and visual artists, but maybe aren’t as good at the mechanical parts of a video game. 

The game looks (and sounds) fantastic.

The devs seem to know the strengths of Opus too. Looking into the options menu before I started playing, I noticed an unusual one: You can individually switch on or off each character’s voice lines. The game presents it as a way to perform the game with a group, with each person taking a role of a different character, and the game filling in with voiced dialogue for whoever’s left over (though, do note, there isn’t any English voice acting, just Chinese and Japanese.) I think it’s a hell of a cool addition, but I wouldn’t put my friends through the hell of having to watch me fiddle with the most basic of inventory management before getting back to the next story scene. 

Should Opus: Echo of Starsong be a video game? Maybe, but maybe not this video game. There’s a lot of cool stuff being done in the visual novel space these days. I think Opus could fit in pretty well there. But as is, I just don’t find the fun-to-tedious ration to be in its favor. 

[h0neyd3w-tea]

Your Orange Light fan-fiction is fantastic. 10/10. I’m hooked, and I’m so excited for the next chapter now that there are new characters introduced in the storyline.

If you don’t mind me asking, did you already have a specific kind of vampire in mind for your Orange Light universe? Did you have any inspiration for your version of vampires? Your vampires seem quite feline-like, especially with the slitted eyes, which is a super cool addition to them. I’ve noticed so far that they have heightened senses, they can smell other vampires, they’re immortal, they have venom, they’re possessive and territorial, they have increased abilities such as inhuman speed, strength, grace/reflexes, etc., they can’t be out in the sunlight for too long, they can drink other liquids besides blood yet can’t digest food, their hearts stop beating after some time, some have their own unique abilities such as Wilbur’s mind controlling, their bodies run colder…they seem to have a hierarchy and familial bond in each Coven, similar to a pack of wolves, and silver can harm them…

I’m assuming they’re nocturnal as well? And that they can sniff out their prey? Do they have vampiric beauty to lure in their prey? How far away do they have to be to catch the scent of/hear someone or something? Are certain vampires far more…unhinged when it comes to the sight or scent of blood? Stuff like that. Or are these traits something we have to discover for ourselves and you’d rather not spill the beans?

I apologize if this comes off as an inconvenience. I’ve always been into vampires and each author’s version of their own vampires, so I’m, like, all into it. But once again, 10/10! You’re very talented! I never get disinterested in rereading each chapter and I’m excited to see what you have in store for it.

Aaaa, thank you!! ^^

I'll be completely honest with you, I had only the barest of ideas of what kind of vampires I wanted when I started.

I won't lie, while I was a big twilight fan when that came out, one thing I remember being disappointed about was the non-existent focus on vampires and their typical behavior beyond feeding and such. I wish I got to know more about their lifestyles, how they've lived alongside humans throughout history, and how that's affected their lives.

Therefore, I base a lot of my vampires' history and tendencies on what I feel is reasonable. Humans were originally nomadic, therefore I assume vampires must've originally been so as well, following the early humans from a distance either alone or with a Changeling. Then humans began to settle down, presumably, vampires would have to do the same.

And so on so forth.

I make a point to say that things changed during the first human and vampire war that occurred about 200 years ago in the story. Bigger Covens were unheard of before then, and Techno even says in the apartment that most vampire terms were made up by humans that vampires just rolled with, because there were no general terms to describe them and their behavior before then.

This decision was made on an assumption from the little knowledge I have from biology class, that predators can never outnumber the prey, and that the most desirable existence is a well-balanced symbiosis. The older, and therefore "superior" vampires, know this. It's the life they grew up with, it's more or less what they aspire to have, and do have in some cases. That's why enslaving and creating a global human farm, which is a semi-normal vampire troupe, would never happen in Orange Light. Like, they prefer free-range chicken over the more industrial chicken farms.

It wasn't really my intention to make my vampires big cats in humanoid bodies, but I do fully acknowledge that it's what happened.

I scored very low in science and biology, but I'm weird and have to justify every choice I make. Exhibit 1; vampires aren't actually dead. There's something in their blood that takes over both the heart's and stomach's job, keeping the blood flowing and replenishing. Which is the reason to why my vampires can't eat anything too rich in fiber and nutrition, there's nothing that can break it down anymore. The vampire blood can only get what it needs from human blood, taking all the necessary stuff from it.

As for what they can do... Well. I've made them quite overpowered. Your recollection of their abilities is accurate, however, it doesn't mean that they're omniscient. I haven't explicitly said so, but I personally think that they enter some kind of feeding frenzy they hunt. Having heightened senses and such can be great when hunting a human in a forest, but I can't help but think it'd be a pain to walk around in a busy city with heightened hearing and sense of smell and such. Therefore, I imagine that those are more often tuned down unless they're trying to search for something.

The abilities are rare, mostly because I have no idea how to balance it if they weren't, but also because I think superpower aus can easily get too complicated and therefore boring. My take on these powers is that vampires who might be inferior in a physical battle and with a strong talent or inclination for something, might develop a supernatural power connected to that ability or tendency.

Ex: Wilbur can charm people, because he's always been a smooth talker. And that, combined with his inferior physique and the devil's luck, gave him his ability. It's limited, and would not be effective on a battlefield, but it's still op as fuck.

Vampires are mainly nocturnal, yes, but as hinted at in the earlier chapters, some of the older ones need close to no sleep at all. I don't know about any vampiric beauty, other than I guess that people would be attracted to clear skin, healthy hair, clean clothes, and self-assuredness which most vampires have. I don't really know how to make it an enchanting thing really, it's more about how smooth the vampire in question is.

Vampires are probably more often than not crazy according to human standards, they have different priorities, different norms, and views on what is and isn't acceptable. It's like a different culture than I have just the barest of understanding of.

Thank you so much for this ask, it was incredibly lovely, even though I ended up rambling more than I wish I did. You asked a lot of great questions that I probably will and have alluded to more than said outright. I'm really happy that you took the time to write such a nice ask, and actually ask these questions. I prefer to write as if we're on the outside looking in, and while that's great for its mysteriousness, it can be a bit messy to understand fully. :)

Again, thank you so much, I hope I didn't forget to answer something but feel free to yell at me if I did! :D<3

[casually-slips-into-coma]

An Essay (sort of) Explaining the Many Grievances I Have With Debbie Gallagher

Once again, Debbie is the fucking worst.

I’ve been wanting to write out my feelings towards her character for a fucking minute now just so that I have a full concise list. Now, I can talk about how Debbie has a constant need for attention, or how her character has become someone unrecognizable in the past few seasons, or how she’s a terrible mother, but what I really want to focus on is the center of my issues with her: her sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about to be a homophobic rant or anything. I just think her queer development has been written terribly and that should be addressed.

Too often I see people praising queer characters or relationships based solely on the fact that they are queer, and as a member of the community, I get it. I am also starved for representation. This, however, does not mean I’m going to settle for annoying, poorly written characters.

Why Make Debbie Queer?

The first thing I want to address is why suddenly develop a WLW storyline for her. Given that Debbie started as a little girl on the show, this gives the writers a lot of opportunity to give a character like that interesting storylines because she does not yet have a solid personality. It gives writers the liberty to take her story anywhere they want to without the constraints of established character because she, as a person, is still developing into adulthood. The show runners unfortunately dropped the ball with this.

From season 4 and onwards was when Debbie began showing interest in dating, sex, and romance having just turned the corner to puberty. From then up until season 9, she has shown exclusive interest in men. It isn’t until Alex the welder that Debbie deviates from this path. Alex is portrayed as a stud who confuses Debbie. I am inclined to believe that Debbie was originally attracted to her because she was masculine and therefore close enough to the people Debbie had previous experience with.

This arc was treated very much as Debbie experimenting with her sexuality, something that Alex also ends up realizing after Debbie tells her that having sex with a girl is “not that bad” and “like having sex with yourself” (S9E4). Once this storyline wrapped up (with Debbie shouting “you make me want cock again”) the writers powered through, adamant about Debbie now being a lesbian.

I have two theories as to why they’ve been fighting so hard for her queerness.

1) This was around the time that Cam was leaving Shameless. This obviously didn’t end up happening, but I was under the impression that the writers were freaking out at losing their token gay character and needed to fill that position. When Cam ended up staying, they were stuck with a queer Debbie storyline and decided to just go with it.

2) Shameless was planning on doing a WLW storyline regardless of Cam’s choice to leave and were originally going to give it to Fiona and her lesbian tenant that she had a close relationship and a lot of chemistry with, but Emmy Rossum wanted to move on from Shameless, and so they pivoted and gave the arc to Debbie, a character that was not supposed to be moved in that direction and so her new sexuality seemingly came out of nowhere. Fiona as a bisexual character would have made sense. Debbie still does not.

Shameless’s Awkward Relationship With Bisexuality

One of the biggest issues I have with Debbie is her insistence on being a lesbian. Lesbianism doesn’t come out of nowhere. Bisexuality, however, can. When you grow up being told that you are supposed to feel attraction to men, and you genuinely do feel attraction to men (which Debbie has expressed in past seasons/episodes) it’s easy to ignore your attraction to women and write it off as something that either isn’t a big deal, or something that isn’t there. It’s a lot more confusing than being strictly at one end of the spectrum. It would have been so much more believable if they had simply made Debbie bisexual. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t because the show has a history with bi erasure.

Bisexuality has been treated badly all throughout Shameless, used as a vengeful plot device back in the earlier seasons where Monica was only ever with women when unmedicated. Then in Season 7 when Ian’s boyfriend Caleb cheated on him with a woman (enforcing the stereotype of bisexuals being unfaithful) Ian, possibly acting out of anger or ignorance, said things like “only women are bisexual. When a man says he’s bisexual he’s really just gay”. The only semi positive bisexual representation on the show was Svetlana and Vee when they were in a poly relationship with Kev (though I also think that storyline wasn’t handled as well as it could’ve been).

This fight against the bisexual label in media is not a new one but it is also a harmful stance to take when writing a sexually fluid character. Debbie declaring that she is, in fact, a lesbian after waxing poetic about how Matty had a big dick and Derek had a great body and knew what he was doing is not the way to go. 

You could argue that Debbie, like many other queer women, is an unfortunate victim of compulsory heterosexuality, but frankly I don’t think the writers are well versed enough in queer theory for that to be a possibility.

Debbie as The White Feminist

Debbie is the pinnacle of white feminism. It’s an unfortunate thought that has occurred to me a few times throughout the show. She talks a big game as a man hater and someone after the equal treatment of women but she herself participates in a lot of problematic and anti feminist behavior.

For one, she r*ped Matty back in season 5 when he was blacked out and unconscious. This was a point in the story that was glossed over and one where she suffered no repercussions other than Matty no longer wanting to be around her. It was explained in the show that Debbie didn’t realize what she did was wrong until after she was explicitly told so because she was maybe 14 when it happened (not 100% on the age Shameless is very inconsistent about timelines). It was treated as somewhat of a punchline, something that Shameless has unfortunately done more than once when referring to male sexual assault (Mickey’s r*pe, Liam in season 10 ((i think??)) and in this latest season, Carl) but that is a different topic. 

There was also the time in which she lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control so she could trap him into a relationship with pregnancy (which also counts as r*pe!!) Good on Derek for getting out of that.

Debbie has also been pro-life in the past. Now I understand this was when Fiona was pressuring her into aborting her pregnancy, and as a pro choicer myself, I believe that Debbie was fully in her right to have bodily autonomy and go through with the pregnancy. This isn’t where the issue lies. It’s when Fiona finds out that she too is pregnant and tells Debbie that she wants an abortion that Debbie accuses her of “killing her baby”. Again, her behavior could be explained by her age given that Debbie was still a young teen during this time.

When her actions as a White Feminist become less excusable is mostly in the latest season. Her relationship with Sandy is one that I’m not really happy with because Debbie doesn’t deserve her.

Recently, it has been revealed that Sandy is actually married to a man and has a son. It’s explained that she was basically married off against her will at the age of 15 to a man twice her age. This implies that the product of the marriage, her son, was most likely conceived through dubious consent (or worse) at the hands of an adult when she was just a kid. Just because Debbie thinks that Sandy’s husband “seems nice” does not give her the right to try and make a victim of grooming feel bad about not wanting to be with her abuser. While I understand that Sandy’s son has no fault in how he came into the world, I’m still gonna side with Sandy when it comes to having to take care of a child she didn’t want and who is most likely a source of trauma for her. It’s not difficult to sympathize with Sandy and see that she’s clearly gone through something fucked up and Debbie, despite claiming to love and support her, AND despite her dumb white feminist arc about wanting equal pay and all that jazz, turns her back on the girls supporting girls aspect of feminism.

This isn’t even mentioning how shitty it was to just leave Franny by herself and assume that one of her siblings would take her to school and pick her up and stuff as if they don’t all have separate lives. She talks a lot about being a good mother but decided to “let off some steam” by fucking off to a gay bar to get loaded on coke and fuck a gay man (which wtf thats not a thing that really happens with casual coke but whatever I guess). Once she realized she fucked up, instead of taking responsibility she decided to paint herself as the victim as well as spew offensive bullshit about how she “probably has AIDS now” because of her sexual encounter with a gay man. No lesbian in their right fucking mind would ever say that because as members of the LGBTQ+ community, you are at least a tiny bit informed as to how devastating and tragic the AIDS crisis was for queer people.

(I also have an issue with how Debbie capitalized on her felony as a sex offender and her sexuality to start her Hot Lesbian Convict business but I think that’s enough said.)

Blame the writers

The show got almost an entirely new cast of writers after season 7 which is why the show feels more like a sitcom with low stakes and no consequences rather than a drama, but if there is a queer writer on the team it’s not very evident. Even the better half of the queer relationship story, Ian and Mickey, I don’t feel has really been done justice since the change in writers. It’s just become painfully obvious that the actress is a straight girl playing a gay character (not to mention I have never seen any chemistry between her and all of her female love interests). I don’t fault Emma Kenney (the actress) for this. I actually really like her as a person and I like the videos she makes about the cast and such, and I think she does her best with the script she’s given. My complaints with Debbie are targeted entirely towards the writers.

This brings me to my final point. I need them to let Debbie be alone. Her whole thing for the second half of the season has been that she clearly has abandonment issues and is afraid of being alone. It’s why she’s so adamant about keeping the house and fighting with Lip about it (I’m actually on Debbie’s side for that one but that’s besides the point). They had her and Sandy break up which leaves Debbie to spiral further into her loneliness. From a writing point of view, it makes sense to take this opportunity to give her an arc in which she can overcome that and feel comfortable with herself so that she can move on as an adult instead of jumping into a new relationship. This is especially true since this is quite literally the last season ever of the show and any character development needs to be wrapped up. Introducing a new character out of nowhere does not give the viewers enough time to actually get invested in the new relationship. It’s also unfair to Debbie’s character because her arc is going to feel incomplete.

Anyway,,,,,,uuuhhhhh,,,,,feel free to add on if u want lmao

[agustdef]

Bubble

Pairing: Jin x Black!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.6k

Warning: None.

Rating: PG

The moment light entered the room YN let out a groan of annoyance. Her eyes were closed, but it managed to pierce the protection of her eyelids with its bright rays. It was so bright that she felt like her eyes were open and she’d stared into the sun for seconds longer than she needed to, but no that wasn’t the case at all.

When YN finally opened her eyes, she was met with the curtains that should have protected her from the sun being held open by Jin. For a moment she thought it was him doing it maliciously, but once her eyes adjusted she realized that he was facing towards the window and he couldn’t possibly have seen how it affected her. 

Didn’t mean that it was okay though.

“If you do not close those curtains I will roll out of this bed and stick my foot up your behind,” she muttered, all while using the blanket to shield her eyes some.

That startled Jin who turned to look at her with wide eyes for several seconds before pulling it together and closing the curtains. Once he’d done that her eyes finally felt like they could relax, though it didn’t stop the glare she fixed him with. Not even the sheepish smile and him coming over to kiss her good morning could stop that.

“I’m sorry. You were facing the other way when I walked over and with it being so early I thought you’d be in a deeper sleep,” he said as he sat beside her on the bed.

At the mention of time YN reached over and tapped the screen of her phone to see that it was around seven in the morning. It caused a groan to tear from her lips and then whines about how she didn’t need to be up for another half an hour followed.

“You don’t even need to be up until nine, why are you awake so early?” she asked.

Jin shrugged, his eyes focused on playing with his fingers.

“We both passed out the moment we got in, which was at eight, so I was bound to wake up earlier. I tried to sleep again, but then Jungkook called about something and we talked for a bit. Now I’m just awake.”

That made YN sigh as she carefully moved to a sitting position. He wasn’t wrong by any means. They’d gotten food on the way from the airport to the hotel, which was demolished before the vans even stopped. Then they’d barely changed and prepped for bed before they’d passed out for the night. And even as she longed to go back to sleep she had to admit that she was the most refreshed she’d been in months, so she couldn’t imagine how Jin felt.

“I guess we could at least have breakfast in bed for once. We haven’t done that at all in the last few weeks of hotel hopping,” she offered.

For a moment Jin pursed his lips, but then a smile stretched onto them and he turned to place several kisses to YN's face despite her attempts at pushing him away. 

“Room service!” he shouted as he moved to a desk in the room where the hotel phone sat.

There was zero need for him to ask her what she wanted because it was almost always the same and since the boys were on a tour stop in the US there was no need to make changes. 

“Hi. I��d like to order room service.” There was a brief pause to listen before he continued. “Two seasonal fresh fruits, bacon, pancakes, and scrambled eggs, french toast, bacon and a poached egg, and extra bacon. Oh, also two orange juice, two waters, and a cup of green tea sugar on the side.”

Again, there was silence and then Jin was saying thank you and hanging up the phone. When he returned to the bed he had a wide smile on his face, one that told her that he was up to no good, but she wasn’t quick enough to do anything to stop him or avoid what was to come. Jin jumped onto the bed and then pulled her into a tight hold, he even threw his leg over to keep her in place.

YN squirmed but let him keep her in his death grip for the most part. She was fine with being held by him, it made her unbelievably happy to be able to wake up with him since she’d spent months not doing it. It was definitely what made the first three weeks she’d been on tour with them worth it. That and getting to do more action shots and have more freedom with her photography.

They stayed like that for a while, just cuddled up together until Jin finally tilted her head so that he was looking at her. The smile on his lips was gone, but it was still very clear in his eyes.

“Good morning, baby,” he said before leaning down to kiss her.

She returned the kiss and then the greeting. “Good morning, love.”

After that they stared at each other like weirdos, which was accurate because they both knew how much their overflowing love for each other made them a little dorky.

But then the sound of YN’s stomach rumbling broke the silence. They both laughed and pulled apart some, though they didn’t stop touching each other.

Jin’s hand moved down to her protruded stomach and gently rubbed it. The bump had grown very little in the time that Jin had been home during the break of tour, but the moment they got back out there it seemed to make up for all the time. She was becoming more self-conscious about it because some of her clothes became useless faster than she’d thought they would, but she rolled with the punches. Pregnancy wasn’t something that had a consistent way of happening.

“Ah, my bad. Good morning to you too, little one. I promise your mama will feed you real soon. She’s even going to give you extra bacon,” Jin said to her stomach.

Bacon, something YN loved, had become a craving of their unborn child over the latter months of her pregnancy. While she could devour a lot, the kid increased that craving and she needed so much to be sated. However, since it wasn’t good for either of them and could give her heartburn from hell they scaled it back as much as possible. Giving her other things she enjoyed to fight off the craving. 

“Yup. And daddy is going to give me his bacon too,” YN added on.

There was intense head shaking and Jin pouting at that, but they knew that it was true. Or mostly true, because hopefully the fruit would be enough to have her complacent with her regular serving and the extra he’d gotten for her.

“Why do you always have to try to eat mine? I don’t get bacon that often and you’re stealing what little I do have? What kind of shake down is this?” Jin asked, theatrics very much in play.

He would have kept going if a knock on their door hadn’t interrupted him. He went to answer it, but fake glared at her as he did.

Upon his reentry into the hotel room with a cart of food the displeasure was gone though and he had a piece of bacon hanging from his mouth. YN sat up and was going to go the fake offended and eating without her route, but then the smell hit her and all she could do was grabby hands. 

Of course, Jin denied her though, his head inclining which indicated he wanted her out of the bedroom and into the small living room that they had. She groaned and made a fuss but got out of bed nonetheless. 

“I thought we were doing this in bed,” she whined.

Jin rolled his eyes. “We both know how you feel about eating in bed. And this definitely doesn’t fit in the things you deem an exception.”

He wasn’t wrong, but she refused to say that and just pouted as he ushered her to a seat on the couch that had the coffee table in front of it. He placed all the food down on it, putting his stuff in front of where he’d sit next to her. And though YN took that as a queue to dive in her hand was smacked immediately and then Jin disappeared back into their room. 

She could have gone for it again when he was out of sight, but her hunger waned for a moment for her to realize why he’d stopped her.

“I could have just taken them after you know,” she called out.

“And risk throwing up your breakfast because of them? No,” he shouted back.

Again, he was right. Though she’s cycled through many prenatal vitamins all of them had something that didn’t work with her stomach. She’d had to try taking them various ways to not throw up or feel like trash after. And it turned out taking her current one before eating was the perfect set up. It didn’t matter how much time before, it just had to be before. They still agreed waiting five minutes was best though. 

So, when Jin returned she already had her glass of water in hand when he gave up the pills. She downed them and drank the full glass, even opening her mouth to show him that they were gone because she felt away about having to wait to eat when it all smelled so good. 

There was an attempt to make up for it by Jin waiting to eat with her and simply fiddling with the TV to get something on for them to watch. He turned to Hulu when regular stations failed them and before YN could even say anything Bob’s Burgers and English subtitles were engaged. Though his English had gotten exceptionally good it was often easier for him to follow and the same was for YN. She was deemed fluent in Korean, but sometimes things didn’t process.

The choice of one her favorite shows earned him a kiss to the cheek and less pouting. Though the true highlight of it all was watching the way his cheeks burned from the random affection. YN couldn’t help cooing about how cute he was, which was met with a stuttered response of five minutes passing. And though making him blush some more was tempting food took precedence. 

They ate in silence for the most part with squabbles over food theft and laughter over something happening on screen occurring every so often. It was a nice continuation of their morning, but once all the food was finished they knew that it was time they got their lives together.

“Can I just stay in bed all day? Is that an option?” Jin asked as he rubbed his own stomach, complaints of being too full had come minutes before.

“You have a concert tonight, love.”

That both perked him up and made him groan in disapproval. Of course, he wanted to go out and perform for his fans, but clearly the idea of moving wasn’t high on his list. 

But they couldn’t waste any more time if they didn’t want to feel rushed. 

YN carefully stood from the couch, her hand rubbing along her own full feeling stomach.

“Well, I need to shower because you decided we needed to be close all night and I smell not great. And since I know you’re going to make sure I don’t slip you have to get up,” she said.

There was more groaning and some flailing limbs as he threw a small tantrum before he was up and following her to the bathroom. Once there he didn’t just watch her from outside the shower like a stalker, as he sometimes did, but joined her and held her steady when she wobbled. 

And since shower sex was no longer something they did because there was fear on both sides of something going wrong they got clean rather quickly. After that they moved to get dressed and even that took on a fast pace seeing as neither of them needed to particularly dress up. Jin would be doing prep for the concert and resting until then so he tossed on sweatpants and a slightly oversized shirt. YN went a similar route, tossing on some joggers that almost looked like normal pants and a large shirt that she had. She also made sure to snatch one of Jin’s hoodies to bring with her when the temperature dropped.

Both of them ended up next to each other in the bathroom going through skin care and brushing their teeth. But since her skin dryness hadn’t stopped, just started terrorizing solely her face, YN spent longer layering products for moisture. 

As she did each one she reminded herself that at least the weird light patches hadn’t started there, though they still plagued the rest of her skin, particularly her stomach. She couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of stomach being one base shade of brown, with dark and light stretch marks and freckle like light patches everywhere. It was as annoying as when summer came and she was forced to deal with being three different shades of brown on her arms alone.

With everything done they both ended up in the living room ensuring they had everything they needed. YN triple checked her camera bag and then did the same with the things that held her essentials. There were chargers, two fully charged power banks, some snacks, two water bottles, and some medicine just in case she or anyone else felt ill for whatever reason. There were also some compression socks in there just in case her feet started to swell, something that was both an occupational hazard and a pregnancy side effect.

By the time she finished there were knocks at the door from Yoongi and one of her fellow photographers. She slid on her bags and went to the door and slipped her shoes on. Once standing Jin was there with her frowning. It tugged at her heart, but she knew that they couldn’t stay there.

Reaching out she grasped his hands. “I don’t want to leave our bubble either, but we have to. Just remember you have a great show to put on and I’ll be there to capture all of your handsomeness.”

She knew that compliments didn’t really work on him despite his worldwide handsome talk all the time, but she thought it would be comforting. When it didn’t garner much of a reaction she sighed but maintained a soft smile.

“Tomorrow you get a break and the only work I’ll be doing is editing photos. We can stay in all day or go out to do something. But we’ll get to be back in our bubble for a little while, I promise,” she said.

Again, she didn’t get much of a change from him, but a few seconds ticked by and a smile formed. He leaned down to press a kiss to her lips and then kneeled to press one to her stomach.

“Be good for mama while she’s working or you’re grounded,” he said to her stomach.

That caused a cackle like laugh to rip from her lips and she barely collected herself before he got up and opened the door. 

After an elevator ride to the lobby, they said their byes one more time and then went where they were needed. When they saw each other again it was while YN pointed a camera his way mid body roll. 

[lesbianrobin]

have u done an analysis on endgame st ships? a penny for ur thoughts

i have not!! i would like two pennies please. my thoughts are not actually worth that much but i think i deserve them anyway. i’m gonna talk about some stuff that may seem unrelated or only loosely related to the question but i prommy it’s relevant <3 warning this ended up being like a thousand words somehow idk how that happened but i’m putting it under a cut bc i’m nice like that.

so! something that’s kinda unique/interesting to me about stranger things is how all of their ships are so clearly telegraphed and quickly developed. there’s a sense of... impatience, for lack of a better word. on the surface, it appears to be largely an effect of the cinematic style of the show; there’s very little room for questioning who someone’s gonna end up with or for slowly developing a relationship over time when you only get eight episodes every like. twoish years. AND you have about a dozen main characters AND evil government forces AND monsters from another dimension. it’s a lot to juggle!

stranger things has a lot to accomplish in a pretty short amount of time. the timeline of a single season usually spans no more than a week (excluding flashbacks/end-of-season timeskips), and well... nobody wants the important stuff to happen offscreen! i’ll use the stoncy love triangle as an example: jancy was originally intended to get together at the end of s1 after steve’s death, but since they decided to let steve redeem himself and survive, there was just no time to separate stancy and get jancy together without it seeming wayyy too abrupt. since jancy was always their plan, they didn’t want to leave nancy with steve, but they knew they couldn’t just have that boyfriend swap occur offscreen... which is why s2 Had to have a stancy breakup plot in order for the writers to accomplish their goal of getting jancy together.

the main characters in stranger things tend to maintain homeostasis between seasons, their circumstances and relationships rarely changing any more than the audience might have just assumed they would anyway (like lucas and max dancing together + sharing a kiss at the end of s2 and officially dating by the start of s3). steve and nancy are dating at the end of s1, so they must still be dating at the start of s2, and thus we must break them up DURING s2. joyce and hopper are friends with some deeply buried feelings in s2, so they’re friends with Less Buried feelings that must become apparent during s3. excluding the stancy situation (for reasons which i think are obvious but i will talk more about later), momentum is always forwards. mileven, lumax, and jancy argue, but they come back together, presumably more mature and stronger than before. 

all of this is to say that stranger things has thus far been rather dedicated to their starting ships. there isn’t much misdirection; mike’s crush on el is obvious from the start, nancy and jonathan share charged moments even while she is with steve in the beginning, lucas shows interest in max immediately and shares more significant interactions with her than the other boys from early on in s2, and the deep loyalty and care between joyce and hop is always apparent. steve and robin (initially intended to be together romantically) hold hands quite early in s3 and dustin asks steve about whether he likes her. 

the point? stranger things doesn’t dick around when it comes to love! they handle their ships with remarkable efficiency. in each season, it tends to be pretty obvious from the start who’s going to end up with who, and heading into the show’s fourth season, almost everybody is paired off: mike and el, max and lucas, joyce and hop, nancy and jonathan. which leaves us asking... are all of them going to last until the end?

we’ve only had one true breakup on the show so far, and as i’ve said before, the stancy breakup is an anomaly as it was essentially “righting a wrong,” allowing jonathan and nancy to get together as they were intended to do from the start. the only other romantic relationship to end on the show was between joyce and bob, and well... we all know why that ended, and it started/ended within the confines of a single season. 

stranger things tends to treat each season as an extended film, right? they draw inspiration from classic 80′s films, and each subsequent season after s1 is treated as a sequel (they are Literally referred to as stranger things 2 and stranger things 3). when they introduce tension in a season, they’re inclined to resolve that tension by the season’s end so that people leave satisfied, while also providing a plot hook for the next “sequel” for audiences to theorize about. this hook is always part of the grander plot, not a will-they-won’t-they tease or something else of the sort. remember, they could have broken up steve and nancy in s2 and waited to get jancy together in s3, but they didn’t! they wanted to go ahead and resolve the tension! 

while there are narrative and practical incentives that i’ve covered for this impatience/efficiency/[insert better word i can’t think of here], i also think it kinda reveals something about the writers of the show. to some degree, they genuinely care about and want their ships to be together! we’ve watched them introduce new characters just to kill them off a couple of times now, and i think it’s fair to say that the writers might be a bit too attached to the mains to consider killing any of them off (at least prior to the series finale). maybe... this reluctance to kill their darlings extends to ships.

romance isn’t the primary draw of the show, but an indulgence, something that there may not always be time for but that the writers continue to prioritize as much as they can because they enjoy it, or feel that it is important to the overall product. if we accept this idea, that the inclusion of and focus on so many romantic relationships in stranger things is (to some degree) indicative of the writers’ own desires, then it might inform our speculation regarding endgame ships.

i’m not here to like... really actually assert that i know what’ll be endgame, because i don’t really know jack shit. however, i do think that the writers are pretty invested in all of the current canon st ships (and yes, i am including jopper in that, as their romantic development was explicit in s3). i also think that the writers like catering to fans, leaning into popular jokes (steve “the hair” harrington) and devoting more and more time to the ships fans obsess over (particularly mileven). 

with this all in mind... i really think that most if not all of the current canon ships will be endgame. 

i think that barring any extreme circumstances (i.e. a character Actually dying instead of just fake dying) jopper will be endgame. they’re the only ones that the writers have had the restraint to actually do a slow burn with, and i really can’t see them devoting so much to developing their dynamic just to say it was all for nothing in the end. 

i’m less confident on the others. there are some signs in canon that the remaining couples have some serious problems and may not last, but these issues are often dismissed, played for comedy or brushed over within the text itself, and many of the details within the text contradicting this dismissal are often so small that it’s unclear whether they’re intentional or not. while breaking up mileven might make perfect sense for a fan who reads into subtext and pays attention to unusual acting choices and subtle parallels, it would be a pretty risky move on the surface level. allowing these ships to remain canon for awhile and garner large fanbases only to break them up later would require both a willingness to actively contradict the desires of their audience as well as a certain degree of restraint in their romantic storytelling, which runs counter to the impression i personally have of the st writers (this is, of course, my own personal opinion).

there’s a good chance that at least one of the current canon ships will break up by the end, if only because i think that it would be a little boring if every relationship stayed the same for almost the entirety of the show’s run, and the stranger writers like to keep things new and exciting. perhaps long distance will kill jancy or mileven, or lucas and max will go off again and never come back on, but either way i wouldn’t be surprised if we got a breakup in s4. even with that, though, i think it’s somewhat likely that a current couple may break up in s4 and get back together for the series finale, just for the sake of a little suspense. overall, though, i feel like our current canon ships are going to be more or less the same at the end of the show.

that’s about it. i suppose i didn’t really... answer the question you asked skdndsdkjc i feel like you probably just wanted to know like if i’m a byler endgame truther (which i am not but i could happily be proven wrong). thank you for asking, though! i hope this made at least a little bit of sense.

[bettsfic]

Hi! Do you have any advice about how to reveal things about a character's past - particularly Big things, like trauma or otherwise defining moments - without either a) hitting the audience over the head in a big exposition dump, or b) hiding key info to the point where it's a Mystery to an annoying degree? I love stories where a character's behavior is somewhat of an enigma until you learn something important about them, but I don't know how to actually do that myself, esp for the pov character.

oh man what a great question! i think about this all the time. so much of writing boils down to when to reveal information. revealing information early in the story offers context, character development, and raises the stakes. late in the story, it illuminates all that came before it and casts the story in a new light.

there is so much writing advice out there that’s like “cut the backstory! nobody cares about backstory!”

but let me tell you, i’m always a slut for a good backstory. anti-backstory people are the same ones who hated the movie Solo because “we didn’t need to know more about han, he was already a good character on his own!” i read so many bad takes to that effect, and i kept thinking, excuse you! *i* want to know more about han solo!! i want information that will change and deepen my perspective of a trilogy i’ve seen a thousand times so i might go back and watch it again with new eyes!!

anyway. i’ve also been reading danmei, specifically mxtx, who is truly a galaxy brained writer when it comes to backstory. she completely changed my perspective on what it looks like to weave together a vast and complicated story structure. i remember watching the Untamed, deeply irritated by the 30-episode backstory, thinking about what poor writing it was and how if i could get my hands on the script, i’d pare it down and weave it in more thoroughly. 

but then! by the end of the flashback, i was sobbing!! me! crying! over media! and i thought, i’ve had this reaction to a story maybe only a handful of times in my entire life? maybe instead of judging this for not meeting my (extremely western and strict) standards of a “good story” i should be listening to what it’s teaching me?

i honestly think i’ve learned more about writing from mxtx than my entire first semester of a cw phd. 

now onto the actual advice:

in the first draft, let the backstory unveil itself to you naturally without concerning yourself with where information should go.

if you’re not used to writing multiple drafts, this might be difficult. but if you have a complicated past timeline that affects the present timeline, it’s nearly impossible to do it all in one go. you need at least one draft to get it all down, and another draft to put it in the right order. most of the revision process, i’ve found, is putting things in their right place. the creative brain is not an orderly thing, even for those of us who plan meticulously.

while you’re drafting, you’ll find natural pockets where contextual information should go. follow the paths that open for you. if you get to a point where a character is thinking about a certain moment in their past, go into what happened right then and there. you can always move it later, or expand on it, or cut it. but it’s important to see those cues and respond to them the very second you’re inspired to do so.

note, this is the same for nonfiction! if you’re writing a memoir or personal essay, memories will trigger other memories, and the more you allow yourself to follow those paths, the easier it is to see the patterns that emerge. you have to let your stories tell themselves to you. 

okay so let’s say you’ve done all that. the past events are all there, but it’s awkwardly placed/you just don’t like where it is. how do you find where it goes?

unfortunately i can’t tell you where backstory/contextual information should always go or how it should be placed there. but i can tell you what certain positioning does to a narrative, so you can make a more confident decision.

i can go on at length about the movement of time in a story, but i want to keep this narrowed down to the basic premise that you have a present timeline that is informed by past events, and the present timeline is the main story. (there are many other ways to navigate time, but i’m defaulting to this setup because it’s what anon is asking, and also probably the most common.)

in your present timeline, you have plot points, moments where A Thing Happens. i’ll call these moments “events.” likely, you’ve established the stakes of these events as well as their consequences. if your past timeline (stuff that occurs before your story begins) informs these events, your first choice is whether or not you want to put them before an event or after it.

if you put the backstory prior to the event, you contextualize and add depth as or before the event unfolds. this option is good for romances, adventure stories, any narrative where the tension derives from a gradual increase in stakes, and the conflict is built by an opposing force like an antagonist. 

if you put the backstory after, you illuminate the event and cast it in a new light. this might be a twist or reveal, which is good for mysteries, thrillers, or stories where the tension comes from the unveiling of information in order to answer a question the story poses. 

and you can also have a bit of both! maybe you want to tease out some information and reveal some later, or have the past and present run parallel. maybe you want to begin the backstory, cut it short, the event happens, and then you complete the backstory. this method might be good for stories where the present timeline has lower stakes than the past timeline, like recovery narratives.

once you’ve decided before/after/during, the next major decision is whether you want to thread the past into the present via summary (indirect discourse), or if you want discrete, in-scene flashbacks (direct discourse). obviously you can also do a bit of both!

i think this decision will likely depend on your narrator. sometimes a well-written 3-sentence summary is more evocative than a 3-page detailed flashback, especially if the past timeline is a composite memory. that is to say, it’s not a single event that happens, but a series of them, like if you have a memory of always eating a bologna sandwich after school, your brain compiles that into a single memory even though you know you did it a thousand times. 

but sometimes, if a past moment is really important, the 3-page detailed flashback is necessary. sometimes you’ll begin with summary and move into a scene and back out. when it comes to backstories, don’t be afraid to play around with discourse. how does the style and tone change when you summarize a conversation versus when you write it in actual dialogue? personally i’ve found that less is more when it comes to backstories so I err toward summary, at least in my own writing, but as a reader i appreciate each kind of approach. 

lastly and most importantly, get a beta reader and ask them specifically about their experience reading the backstory. here you want descriptive feedback. you’re not asking “what should i do? how do i fix this?” you’re asking, “how did you feel while reading it?” and that will tell you how to approach revision. sometimes i write a backstory that i think is a slam dunk, because i’m already invested in the characters, but i get reader feedback saying it’s boring/they were inclined to skip over it. sometimes i’m like, “haha good, be miserable and bored, you’ll thank me later.” and sometimes i’m like, “dammit fine” and kill my darlings.

on that note, sometimes you just have to own it, and bore/confuse your reader because you know the eventual payoff is good enough. if the info dump is the best/easiest/clearest method, do it. if teasing a backstory out slowly is what you’re going for, don’t be afraid to make the reader want to throttle you. you don’t write to buy into your reader’s expectations; nor do you write specifically to defy those expectations. you write to honor the story you want to tell, and you place contextual information that is most complementary to the narration you’ve chosen. 

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

Life of the Party

This is the fluffiest thing I’ve ever written and it still involves a swingers’ party. But seriously, other than the setting, this whole thing is just humor and boy-meets-girl cuteness. 

Pairing: Adam Cole x reader

Word count: 2,117

Content advisory: nothing beyond the setting

“Could you please stop acting so uptight?” Jeanie asks, poking you hard in the ribs. “You said you wanted to try it.”

Yes, you have to admit, you did say that you wanted to try it. Jeanie had been sharing her stories with you and Ellen about going to the swinger parties hosted by a physiotherapist who regularly attended Jeanie’s yoga classes and her husband, and a month ago, she’d finally persuaded Ellen to come along to one. Ellen had been so impressed that she’d talked about it for a week nonstop and you finally had to concede that, yes, you were curious and that you did want to come along the next time there was an opportunity. And you had wanted to come along. You wanted to get into the spirit of liberation and exploration that these nights offered. But here you were, walking into a party with a very select guest list and all you could think of to do was make wisecracks. 

Jeanie and Ellen were both insistent that you keep your mind open, to which you responded that you couldn’t keep your mind and legs open at the same time, which got a chortle but also a withering look from both of them. Your inclination was to separate from the crowd with them and to pass the night making catty comments. They, however, preferred to circulate and see who might be interested and what they might be interested in. Normally, sarcasm and irony were the weapons you used to prevent yourself from feeling vulnerable. But normally, your friends would be right beside you. Tonight, they weren’t so interested in smart remarks and were more interested in seeing what kind of adventure they could find. It was almost like disinterestedly scanning through Tinder and getting frustrated by playing eye contact games with guys in bars wasn’t enough for them anymore. 

It took exactly 38 minutes for you to completely lose your sense of ironic invincibility. You know this because you’ve been able to time it on your phone. In those first minutes, you were joking with Jeanie and Ellen, then they chose to migrate into the crowd and started chatting with a few people. Then you’d just chilled on your own and thought it was funny how everyone else seemed to be trying to hook up with someone. Then it had occurred to you that everyone else was hooking up with someone, almost as if being open about what they wanted was something that wasn’t a source of humiliation for them the way it was for you. Then you’d realized that you were standing by yourself, protected by an impenetrable wall of sarcasm, completely isolated while everyone around you was getting laid. 

You’d sure showed them. You alone had discovered the secret to not having sex at a party the point of which was to make sure that everyone had all the sex they wanted. Lucky for you that the guests were so distracted that it was easy to just steal alcohol from the refrigerator. It was like you were doing the hosts a favor, making sure that the supplies they laid in didn’t go to waste. There were little hors d’oeuvres on trays catered from a company whose treats didn’t come cheap, so you grabbed plate full of those too and retired to the back patio to feel awkward and superior and incredibly envious that there were people who could just approach other human beings and tell them they wanted to have sex with them and get it. 

This goes fine for about fifteen minutes, or two full glasses of wine and about half the plate of exquisite mini pastries and vegetable art, at which point another solitary figure slinks out onto the patio with you. There is immediately a dirigible of silence between you, swollen with mutual desire, the desire to be left alone and to have no one notice you. On the other hand, it is also fueled by the awareness that the two of you are the party’s resident weirdos and that social convention demands that you try to forge some kind of connection so that you can eventually make eye contact and fall in love or something. It’s you who gives in first. 

“Miniature sausage?”

The tumescent blimp of tension between you deflates as the man looks up with a combination of defensiveness and hostility. 

You press the still half-eaten plate towards him. “They ordered these individual mini sausages with gourmet ingredients and everything. There’s like four different kinds and they all look like they’re made by hand. I mean, I can’t imagine they found a machine that could make them this size.”

He’s still giving you a bit of a suspicious look, scanning you for any sign that you’re mocking him but gradually he drags his chair a little closer to observe the food you’re proffering. He snatches up a tiny deconstructed spanakopita-type-thing that crumbles in an avalanche of phyllo crumbs over his dark shirt when he tries to take a bite. 

“Those are a bit tricky,” you commiserate. 

“So, you’re the… official taster?” he kids, obviously trying to project a bit of cool as he brushes himself more or less clean. 

“Sure, we can go with that.” You once again extend the plate to let him try something else and, after allowing his hand to hover a moment, he takes one of the perfect little sausages. 

“Ok,” he says, nodding, “you have a point. These are pretty awesome.”

You resist the urge to say ‘I told you so’ by pushing one of the salmon-lemongrass wraps into your mouth. 

“You prefer fish?” he grins. 

“I just like to eat.”

He laughs a little and, as ridiculously clichéd as it is, you bat your eyelashes because now that you’re able to get a better look at him, you feel your thighs inadvertently press together. He is really good looking. His light brown hair is drawn back into a loose chignon, and he has that perfected, give-a-shit scruff you’ve seen in musicians and you hope to god that he’s not one of those because they’re always such cocky assholes. But what really draws you in are the bright, sparkling, mischievous blue eyes. You can’t stop staring at them and into them, imaging what they’d look like sparked with lust and… you realize it’s been an inappropriately long time since either of you has said anything. 

He takes your last oyster, the bastard, and tips the shell against his mouth, allowing the flesh to slide through his lips and over his tongue that flashes out for just a second to capture the drops of briny liquor. The change in his expression shows that he’s definitely caught you looking in a way that’s entirely appropriate to the party inside. 

“So why aren’t you enjoying the main course?” you ask, trying not to be quite so obvious and hitching your head in the direction of the house. 

“I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing here,” he sighs. “I was with my girlfriend, well, my ex-girlfriend now, for seven years. Two weeks ago I came home from a tour a day early and I run into her with her movers clearing all her stuff out of our condo. Braden’s my nutritionist and told me he and Sheryl were having this party and he thought it might be a good chance for me to shake off some of the… well, you know. Seven years with the same girl and now I’m single.”

Everything after “home from a tour” is a sort of verbal soup to you. A tour. He is a musician. Oh no. 

“What about you?” he asks. “How did you end up on Fuck Island?”

“My friend Jeanie is Sheryl’s yoga instructor,” you squeak, wishing very much to leave it at that. He gives you a pointed stare and a smile that seems to light up the entire yard and so, feeling more than a little self-conscious, you continue, “My husband left me about a year ago and I haven’t been… well, I haven’t dated anyone since then and Jeanie figured that this might be a good opportunity to get back in the saddle.”

He gives you another big smile and you think, or at least hope, that there’s a bit of a flirtatious glint in his eye. “I didn’t know they had a saddle too.”

It’s a silly joke but it does make you laugh and that makes you feel a little less awkward that you basically told a complete stranger that you got your ass dumped and hadn’t had sex since. Still, you’re eager to move on. 

“So you’re a musician?”

“What? Oh, because I was on tour. No, I’m a professional wrestler.”

And that, you think, might be worse than a musician, because it’s sort of like being a jock version of a rock star, right? All of the testosterone and none of the creativity? 

“What do you do?” he asks, pleasantly enough. 

“I’m the curator at the A.E. Backus Gallery.”

His dazzling eyes widen. “Wow…” he stammers, “Art.”

You giggle and pour yourself another glass of wine. “Wow… Wrestling.”

He leans in and takes the bottle from you, gulping directly from it as he leans back into his chair. “I’m not really arty.”

“Not at all?”

“Does videogame art count?”

“It can,” you answer, pushing a note of gentle humor into your voice. 

“Well then I guess I’m a bit of a collector. Maybe you can sell me something.” He hitches his eyebrows a little and it is endearing. 

“I didn’t know wrestling paid so well.”

“It does when you’re as good at it as I am,” he grins, taking another long swig from the wine bottle. 

His arm is slowly moving towards you and you’ve leaned forward so that you’re at once helping to close the distance between you and giving him a nice view of the tops of your breasts, something which does not appear to go unappreciated. Feeling a little cheeky, you take a big drink from your wine glass and allow a drop to fall from your lips. As you were hoping, he reaches over and brushes it away with his thumb. His eyes are definitely more intense, more curious and threaded with a hint of lust and they are every bit as thrilling as you thought they would be. 

“I’m Adam,” he whispers. 

“Eva,” you tell him, and you both laugh a little at that. 

“So I guess we really should be naked.”

“Or if we felt self-conscious, I think that one of the hors d’oeuvres has some minced grape or fig leaves.”

“Are you suggesting that I would be able to cover myself with just a tiny sausage?”

You laugh again and blush because his hand is still resting against your face, stroking your cheek ever so softly. 

His eyes flicker towards the house and he struggles for a minute to form words, his jaw twitching a little with the effort. And as much as you feel yourself growing damp at the idea of being with him, the idea of doing so in a sauna of sex mist is not working for you. 

“I cannot tell you,” he begins finally, waving a hand towards the indoors, “how uncomfortable I am with this whole thing.”

“Oh,” you exhale in sweet relief, “you don’t need to tell me because I just… This is not my scene. No judgment but this just isn’t going to work as a way of getting back out there.”

He gives you a wink. “Eva, would you like to go somewhere and not have sex with me for a bit?”

You look down at what you’re wearing, dismayed. “I’m basically wearing lingerie.”

“You look beautiful.”

“I feel naked.”

“It’s ok,” he assures you. “I know an amazing place to get drive through. You know. If that’s something art gallery girls can get into.”

“I can get into that.”

He stands and offers you his arm, the muscle flexing a little as he helps you up and sending an electric shiver through your core. Toned and firm but not the bulked-up, steroid-ridden balloon you would have imagined all pro wrestlers to possess. You bite your lip and he definitely notices, edging just a little closer to you,

“I really hope no one’s fucking in my car,” he says wistfully. 

“I’m so glad I came here in a cab.”

The two of you share a conspiratorial glance as you pick your way down the driveway and onto the street towards his hopefully unoccupied car. No sex for a bit, you tell yourself, but maybe not too long of a bit.

[myfriendscallmecoelophysis]

Remember Me

Oops more Mianitian Isles fic. There’s not enough about Ianite. So have a 2500 word Ianite-centric thing. 

I can pretty much guarantee that a lot of this will no longer be canon as we learn more about the world and more of the story unfolds. As it stands now, this is the best I can do, especially considering how much secret conversations are occurring between the players and their respective gods. I watch Sparklez POV mainly but have seen glimpses of how Mianite speaks to Karl and how Dianite speaks to Tom in private chat. For now I am going with what Sparklez knows. 

Enjoy and as always 

Find me on Ao3:

Selenejessabelle12626 for the tame stuff

Lady-Spieroles for the less tame stuff ;)

~

Ianite woke up one morning with the strangest feeling. It was a sensation of wholeness and rightness, like something she hadn’t known she’d lost had suddenly been found. She’d felt a bolster to her strength as well, as though this feeling was boosting the fledgling powers she possessed. She wished mother was here. Mother had known all there was to know about the divinity she and her brothers were destined to grow into. Mother had been the one to see visions that became prophecies. Mother had known what awaited them when they got older. Mother would know what was happening. Gods did Ianite miss her mother. 

Over the next several days, Ianite’s dreams were filled with visions. She was used to the chittering voices that accompanied her thoughts, the voices of a thousand of her lives Mother had told her when she was younger, but Ianite had only rarely seen visions from these lives. Were these new visions part of the feeling she’d had? Were they part of the change? 

In one dream she was caged, shackled with burning molten chains, her sweet little Dianite warped into a demonic creature sneering down at her. This version of her had been mostly forgotten by the people of the realm, leaving her next to powerless to do anything but resign herself to her prison. But she still had a sense of hope, He was coming. He would save her. She had no idea yet who He was, but deep in her bones she knew He would not abandon her. This was the version of Him she had the greatest desire to meet. This was the one who’d all but created her after she had been forgotten. 

In another it was she who stood above Dianite and Mianite both, imprisoning them so that they would sow no more destruction across the world. She ruled this realm with an iron force of balance, a life for a life. The only true measure of balance. He stood at her side in this world, an enforcer of her will, armed with enchanted bow and sword, an unstoppable warrior. This dream scared her, made her fearful of what she was capable of if she chose that path. But still He remained loyal, despite this version of herself being so different from the others.

In yet still another she sat on a hill overlooking a quaint port town with a castle at its center, watching a pair of children run and play. The children looked to her with joy in their eyes and love in their souls. And He sat at her side, entwined His fingers with her own and pressing His lips to her cheek. This was the life Ianite would choose if she had to pick another. It was this dream she liked the most. The Ianite of this world was happy. 

While all her dreams bore great differences, there was one similarity among them. There was always a man at her side. His appearance differed little through each reality, only his dress and age seemed to change, though no matter what He always wore the oddest glasses upon His face. He was hers, the voices said. He was the only one throughout every life that supported her and followed her no matter where she led.  He was only one man though and each version of her got their chance to have Him by her side. And now, she realized, He was here in her world. It was finally her turn.

She felt the change in the air when the worlds synced. It was an influx of energy unlike anything she or her brothers had ever felt. Without a word to one another, they went their separate ways to think about what was happening. Mianite disappeared into the clouds to his ‘fortress’ (though Ianite knew it was little more than a fort made of cloud matter, her little brother was imaginative like that), Dianite ventured to his underground ‘lair’ (a cave he’d managed to cultivate life in despite the lack of sun, goodness her brothers had active minds), and Ianite herself went to the sea cave where she liked to be alone and gather her thoughts. 

When the burst of power came, it was so abrupt and strong that Ianite nearly fell from the rock she was sat upon and into the sea. “My powers… They are coming to be real!” She said to herself in astonishment, looking down at her hands. She had a faint purple glow about her and for the first time in her memory, she could silence the voices of her other lives that were in her head. She finally had control. 

Across their realm, both brothers had similar experiences of power, giving their own words of shock and acceptance. None of the three knew the source but only Mianite understood that this was not a coincidence. Whomever had caused the sync between worlds had caused this strengthening. It was something he must investigate. The prophecy of their mother had spoken of the coming of heroes who would give them the strength to finally overthrow their father. After all these years, it was finally time. 

When Ianite returned home, she noticed the change within her brothers. Both had a similar glow to them that she herself had, though in red and blue respectively. None of them commented on the change when clearly all three had experienced it. They knew Mother’s prophecy, they knew what they were destined to do. It had been nearly a millenia ago when she’d first told them, disguising their fate within a bedtime story. Once Mother had gone, Ianite, as the eldest, had become the reluctant guardian to her brothers, doing her best to keep their home at balance as only she was able. But now it seemed, her time was coming to an end. Soon their Chosen Champions would be calling out to them and things would change forever between the three of them. She would miss this calm, the peace between Order, Chaos and Balance. But even she was growing restless and tired of waiting.

When she fell asleep that night, she used her new power to bring forth the dream of the port town. But this time, she saw not the man that Ianite had married, but the version of Him from the world where Ianite had been imprisoned. He had traveled across the dimensions to that one, here in this world He would do as He had done in the last, make choices that he believed would be in her best interests rather than His own. He was loyal, all versions of Him were, but this one especially. Secretly, the Ianite who fell asleep now, hoped she might meet Him who had been the one to give her strength in the world where she’d had none, to give her life when she'd given up on it.  She knew not His name, but did know His face and was very eager to meet Him, however long it took. 

She was in the sea cave a week later when she felt the pull. She heard a new voice in her head, that of a man. “SMITE YEE ALMIGHTY IANITE” he called to her. The pull grew stronger and stronger and then she saw a room of purple and white stone, an illustration of herself decorated a wall and when she turned, there He was. 

She didn’t know what to say, all this time and she was at a loss for words upon laying eyes on Him.

“Hello!” She said, deciding to begin simply. 

“Milady.” He greeted, inclining his head. “How are you?” 

There were others there, but she cared little for them right now. All she cared about was that He was here. The man that all other versions of her trusted and believed in was here for her. 

“I wasn’t expecting to be here so soon.” She admitted.

“I wasn’t expecting it either.” He agreed. 

She looked around the temple they were in. She knew other versions of Him were skilled builders and apparently this one was as well. She wanted nothing more than to stay and speak to Him and get to know Him but already she felt the power that had pulled her here starting to wane. 

“I can’t stay long… but this place! This is beautiful!” She told Him, hoping it would lessen the blow that she was leaving so soon. 

“Thanks I worked hard!” He said with pointed enthusiasm while the other men snickered behind him. Perhaps they had teased His capabilities and her praise had given Him the validation He’d desired?

She looked around further and nodded to herself and Him. This would be her temple most certainly. This would be the place she would channel her power through. “Yes, this will be fine! I love it! Thank you!” 

She’d decided to ignore the incorrectness of the portrait, figuring that in another realm, the Ianite He knew must have had eyes like this. The other men however were not so keen on letting it slide. The man who’d called her, a priest, she realized once he spoke, was the first to draw attention. All but opening the floodgates for the other two to ask questions. 

Ianite noticed the way her Champion blushed, embarrassed by his mistake. “It’s called heterochromia…” she defended “and I think it makes me cute!” 

“Yes! Very cute!” Her champion agreed immediately. She chuckled at His eagerness to impress. 

One of the other men, who appeared to be a zombie? asked after Dianite. “Dianite?” She questioned “He’s fine. I’m sure you’ll meet him soon.” 

“Dianite is super nice right?” Her champion asked with a mischievous look in his eye. “Like just a great dude?” 

“Oh he’s very sweet.” She agreed. Confused by the way the zombie argued with the others at her confirmation. 

He tried to find out more but she chose not to answer. He’d meet Dia soon enough. “But I really can’t stay.” She told her champion with a frown. 

“Why not?” The priest asked. 

She knew it was not her place to tell them the full truth. They need not know of what was to come, not yet at least. They’d only just met. “I left because of a great evil in this land.” She told them. 

The zombie shouted in disbelief but she waited only for her champion's reaction. “Fenrir?” He asked “Is that the evil?” How he knew of Fenrir she wasn’t certain, but was not yet certain if she should tell them more. She would speak to her brothers once they’d met the heroes themselves and decide on a course of action. 

“Please… give me another day. I will return for good.” She promised, looking to Him. He was the one she was to trust and believe in, not any of the others. Though perhaps she might confide somewhat in the priest, he seemed to know more than the others. He was the one who’d summoned her after all. 

“Tomorrow you’ll be back forever?” her champion asked, a hint of pleading desperation behind the lenses of His glasses. She knew that other versions of herself had been lost to Him or had taken Him quite some time to meet. He didn’t want to lose her again. 

“Well, as long as forever can truly be. But yes.” 

The relief on His features gave her hope that she might be enough for Him who had lost so much. 

The moment was ruined when an arrow struck the column beside her with a shout of accusation from the zombie. In an instant her champion had drawn His bow and fired an arrow at the zombie. It didn’t connect, a warning shot, but an efficient one. Her other selves had not been mistaken, He hadn’t hesitated to defend her despite there being no harm done. 

“Mister Zombie. I think you dropped this arrow.” She said pointedly, pulling it from the stone and throwing it back to him while he continued to make accusations about who’d fired the shot. He opened his mouth to make an excuse but stumbled back when her champion rammed into him with a trident’s magic. The other’s laughed at the zombie’s expense, the zombie joining a moment later, clearly used to the teasing.

“That sounds like one of my brother’s ‘pranks’.” She chuckled along with them. 

The priest tried to revisit her avoidance of the mention of the great evil but her champion asked further of her brothers. Whether He knew he was giving her a way to avoid answering the priest she wasn’t sure, but either way she took the opportunity. 

“Mia would prank us both. No idea why.” She told him, confused by their surprise.

“Mianite does pranks? Not Dianite?” Her champion asked, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

What world did they come from where Dianite was the mischievous one? Neither of her brothers were particularly ruthless, though she supposed Mianite was the one who more often started quarrels between them. 

“But, really, I think I should leave.” She told them, frowning slightly at the disappointment on His face. “If I can come back, maybe my brothers can too. Go see them!” She urged. She’d had her time to speak with the heros, her brothers deserved the same chance. She knew that they were just as eager to meet them as she was. 

“Ok, we will.” Her champion assured her. 

The Priest spoke further to them and she took the chance to look around. Despite the issue with the portrait, it really was a lovely temple. The portrait was clue enough that He’d known her before, for if she’d never seen Him in this world then He’d never seen her here either. He’d chosen colors and materials she was fond of as well. It was magnificent, truly.

“Good to see you my lady.” He said once the other’s had left. There was a fondness in His voice that sent a flutter of joy through her heart. He left without another word, following His friends to summon one of her brothers. 

“Glad to finally meet you, my Champion.” She whispered, letting go of the strength that kept her here and returning home. 

She was in the sea cave once more when she opened her eyes but now she felt a lightness in every breath. He was everything she’d expected and she could hardly wait to get to know Him better. He was not the husband of one of her lives, nor was He the warrior of the darker lives. She was hesitant to get her hopes too high, but He might just be the man who’d brought her to life in the world where she hardly existed. 

That night, as she fell asleep, Ianite dreamed of the world where she had been married to Him. Except now, it was not the husband she saw, instead He wore red glasses and was surrounded by others, His friends, as they celebrated a victory she felt the significance of even now. She was not there corporeally, but instead was a spirit of herself. She was present in the consciousness of the spirit as a tome was placed in His pocket, this version of herself’s final words to Him. She watched as He found the tome and began to read it out loud to His friends.

“...The man is faced with a choice between the two. His life is riddled with choices! And like the stubborn idealist he is, he carves out a middle path. He’ll take neither god. He’ll have a goddess all to his own...” He had a smile on his face and tears in his eyes as he read, for in this realm he had lost his goddess. 

It is upon the final words that Ianite knows that this is the version of Him who she has met. He always looked the same but it was in His eyes that she saw the same respect and trust she’d seen in the temple. Not the loving adoration of the husband, nor the resolved acceptance of the warrior. 

The voice of herself that had been imprisoned echoed in her mind. “Treat him well and treat him fairly young one. He deserves it after all he has done for us.”

[ifridiot]

cryptid, rock, neon lights, ghost, grave, neighbour, fae, deer

Cryptid: what kind of otherworldly / cryptid / folklore being do you identify with the most and why?

This is a very hard question for me to answer, I have a very hard time identifying with anything without being told look specifically by other people that I remind them of that thing. I don't think that anybody has ever really likened me to too many other creatures concept aesthetics that kind of thing sure but not so many, like... creatures.

That being said, I often have associated myself with werewolves. There's something that really draws me to the concept of a being that can change its shape, that might look harmless at one moment and then in another circumstance becomes very dangerous and very obviously predatory or imposing and threatening. I have always especially been drawn to stories about werewolves where the werewolf is more sympathetic, rather than the concept of a creature that loses all humanity and can't do anything but savage those around it. I don't really find that to be a compelling narrative at the best of times, much less something that I would really think of myself in connection to. I think I tend to be extremely humane in most of my interactions, regardless of whether I am hurt or upset or not thrilled with the person who is trying to talk to me.

Rock: things you collect?

I collect notebooks. I absolutely adore having something that I can just pick up and write in, to the extent that I have notebooks that live in specific locations so that I always have one on hand. There's a notebook that lives in my bag that goes with me everywhere I go. There's another notebook that lives on the table next to my chair in the living room, and there are many notebooks that live in the bookcase beside my bed.

Another thing I collect is knives. I don't have very many of them anymore, because when I moved out of my dad's place I couldn't really take whole ton with me, but (marge simpson voice:) I just think they're neat. I keep a really fancy ornate one on a display stand that's on top of my dresser, and I have one that shaped like a whale that I got from a friend of mine, and it lives in its sheath because it's very sharp, in the bookcase that's beside my bed. I would really like to get more again at some point

I also collect recipes, especially baking recipes. I really love cooking, and I find it very useful to be able to pull up the exact recipe for something that me and my sister enjoyed, so I can cook it again. So I have lots of bookmarks from when I look recipes up online, just tons of bookmarks. And I have a whole folder of recipes that I've typed up from making shit up on the fly, which I love sharing.

Neon lights: what's your aesthetic?

I always have a really hard time with this question, too. Kind of like the cryptid question, I have a hard time visualizing myself, or seeing enough of myself from an outsider's perspective to really say if the things that I consider my aesthetic actually come across in any real way. Which is to say, I don't know that somebody walking into my space or looking at my blog would necessarily see my aesthetic the way that I see things as being my aesthetic.

Very babbling way of saying, “here are some aesthetic concepts I really like but I don't know if they show up in any way that anybody would ever notice that I actually like them.”

I really love bones and teeth, especially paired with flowers. I like crows and ravens and little finches and sparrow-y song birds. I am very into a sort of goth/punk sort of look with layered clothes and spikes on things... I really like putting pins and buttons on my denim jacket, and I am working on designing a piece to either paint or stitch onto the back of that jacket. As far as interior design aesthetic goes, strong I like lots of plants and like Earth tones in greens and blues, like sages and dusty blues for the wall colours and then lots of shelves to display things on…  lots of plants and lots of big windows to let in light,  but with actual curtains because I like to have some privacy. Wood floors with nice rugs, as opposed to carpet.  I like a very clean kind of decorating without a lot of centralized clutter (I prefer the clutter on shelves, so my blind ass doesn’t get tripped). I guess kind of like a soft cottagecore kind of look. And then add in some very vulture culture details mixed into that, some bones and furs and stuff. Love that kind of shit.

Ghost: have you ever had a paranormal experience?

Yeah I have had a lot of them, especially from when I was a kid growing up in this one really old, shitty house. The one that comes to mind most clearly is this:

I must have been about seven or eight, and I went to my parents’ room to do something – i’m pretty sure I was supposed to put away an armload of clothes. My parents’ room in that house had really bad vibes, like it just felt really spooky almost all the time and I never wanted to be in there by myself.

On this particular occasion, the lights were off and the blackout curtains were drawn so my father, who worked midnights, could sleep. I remember that it was super dark and cool compared to the rest of the house, but in the light from the hall and behind the curtains it wasn’t impossible to see.

Dad’s dresser was across the room, past the bed, from the door. In the corner farthest back from the door, deepest into the room, it was all shadow, and on this particular excursion, I remember something like a piece of shadow breaking from all the rest of the dark back there, and sort of sliding across the ceiling to weight over the dresser. When I stepped forward, intending to ignore this thing, it sort of dripped down, like a very heavy, viscous fluid, to stretch from floor to ceiling.

I absolutely ran, because I’d seen enough horror movies and I didn’t want to die.

Grave: what do you think happens after we die?

Dog, I have no idea. In a less... public forum I might be willing to talk about my really weird theory of everything, But it's extremely long, extremely involved, and I definitely sound like like the insane person that I am when I start talking about it. So not here and not now.

Neighbour: if you lived in an eerie town in the middle of nowhere, one of those where everybody knows something is wrong, but nobody talks about it, what would your role be?

Okay, so I absolutely insist that, in this scenario I am able-bodied enough to hold a job. I am the bookstore owner / employee who gives advice to travelers but in a really ominous, like, ‘get the fuck out while you can’ kind of way. I absolutely take no shit from anybody, I'm married to the town so I won't leave, but I want everybody to survive so I'm definitely giving people advice…

Unless I don't like them, in which case they can eat shit.

Fae: wings or fins?

Wings, absolutely every time. I'm not afraid of heights, I absolutely believe if I had been born with wings I would be a much different physically shaped person. That is to say, I feel like wings are one of those body parts that, were they naturally occurring and part of me, would have kept me inclined to being much more physically active and I probably would not be as dramatically overweight.  I absolutely would be the kind of person who just fucking flies places.

Deer: antlers or fangs?

I think that it is absolutely a hate crime specifically against me that I am being asked to pick one or the other.

I should be allowed to have both, and I would have the most glorious, gigantic fucking multi-pronged deer antlers, and just like absolutely massive fangs, like the male orcs from World of Warcraft tusks except where your upper canines are, just massive...

actually, can we be real and just say I absolutely have tusks like orcs as well?

[monicalposts]

The Goal Crafter System

What exactly is the Goal Crafter System?

It’s the system I follow which incorporates mindset mastery  to keep ME moving forward with my goals and my aspirations.

This Goal Crafter System pairs tried and true goal setting tactics from the Giants of Goal Setting methods – Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy -  with the power of prayer and the constant daily, habit of thought assessment.

It helped me lead three multimillion dollar businesses simultaneously.

It helped me author and publish books.

It helped me create and develop blogs .

It helped me obtain a degree in business just as I turned 50.

It helped me start new businesses.

It helped me buy and sell homes.

It helped me take wonderful family vacations.

And it hasn’t just helped me! No, I believe in sharing what works with others. I have been teaching and mentoring others with this exact same system for years. 

So --what is the system?

As Simon Sinek would say, start with the Why.  If you haven’t seen his brilliant Ted Talk on knowing your why, you should!

For me ---my why arose out of learning about goals three decades ago, after which I became relentless in the pursuit of change in many areas of my life.  No question – I was HUNGRY!

Goal setting fed my pieces and parts in a way that was sooo exciting to me. 

It helped me realize that I was not thinking clearly about myself. I realized I hadn’t thought of myself as creative, much less as a CRAFTER my whole life.

I was surrounded though by family and friends who could create easily and effortlessly: crochet – knit – sew -- build – grow gardens. None of that stuff appealed to me – let’s face it – to this day I hate to get dirt under my nails!

And because I didn’t believe I was creative in a world where it seemed most people around me were -- I felt a bit invisible. I raised my kids, grew my family, worked to support them, but all the while, I knew my best life was eluding me.

I had this ever-present, deep down feeling that there was more to life, a lot more, and I just couldn’t quite see it or reach it.

When goals came into my life – well it’s fair to say it changed me forever.

It sounds a bit cheesy but I literally could feel myself begin to blossom. Crazy, I know.

Still, I started to find my way.

A big part of that was finding myself beginning to yearn for and eventually find a closer, more personal relationship with God. 

It was baby steps at first. And it was certainly not linear. In fact, just how big prayer and mindset are in crafting and achieving goals was not apparent to me at first.

No—when I first started crafting goals, I would jot them out on a piece of paper or in my homemade goal notebook (I still have that little book) – the more the merrier. I had read about Lou Holtz’ list of 100 goals, and ever-competitive, I set out to create my own list of AT LEAST one hundred GOALS.

At various times I did in fact have more than 100 goals on paper for my big OLE life.

Nothing wrong with that, and even today, part of my system includes a massive download of sorts.

But—quantity is not equivalent to success in crafting a goal or goals that will light you up!

Ahhhh – but if quantity is not the answer to success, then what is?

Think about the word –craft—what it means.  As a verb – to craft is to make or produce something skillfully, brilliantly, capably. Produce – skillfully, brilliantly, capably.

So to become a goal crafter, we take a meticulous approach to establishing the goals we really desire.

The goals we really desire.

The goals we really desire!

Success in goals I believe comes down to these things – these steps that comprise my Goal Crafter System.

1. Discerning through chatting with God the desires of our heart. This is the first step and it is crucial for believers.  Two verses that speak to this are Psalm 10:17 O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline your ear. And Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.  God hears us when we speak to him, but it is up to us to create the conversation. And when we do, He says to delight ourselves in Him.  What an invitation. This is the beginning!!

2. Creating a mindset of belief about our creative capabilities.  Mindset mastery runs throughout the crafting and achievement of your best goals.  Belief that you can do, be or have what you establish as your goal is Muy Importante!  If you believe it, you CAN achieve it.  If you don’t, your success will be hampered or even inaccessible to you. There are ways to strengthen your beliefs about your goals and we will cover that incessantly throughout future blogs 😊. But hint, hint – your thoughts play a gigantic role in them.  A very strong verse in scripture, given us from Jesus is Mark 9:23 And Jesus said to him, “’If you can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Henry Ford said, “IF you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, your RIGHT!” Let that marinate!

3. Choosing the dreams we believe will help us live a brilliant, beautiful, buoyant life. Listen up – God gave us the gift of free will. Inherent in free will is OUR ABILITY TO CHOOSE – TO DECIDE!  No action can occur, no progress, until we decide what we want for ourselves. Proverbs 16:3 Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established. As soon as you decide which of your ideas to choose to elevate to the status of a goal, you progress!

4. Writing them out with a due date for future completion. There is a multitude of research in the public domain that demonstrates something pretty astounding. The mere act of taking a pen or a pencil and writing out a goal increases your chances of accomplishing it by 42%. And, there is much more to be done that will take those percentages even higher. This is reinforced in scripture. Habakkuk 2:2 Then the Lord answered me and said, “Record the vision And inscribe it on tablets, That the one who reads it may run. Back in the day when there was no paper – even then – God instructed His believers to write out their vision – their goal. Get it out of your head and onto paper. You will be glad you did!

5. Seeing yourself reaching your goal at just the right time. Habakkuk goes on in verse 2:3 For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Thought it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay. Oh. My. Mercy. So much good stuff here. Spend time with the vision behind the goal you have crafted. This mental activity will keep your vibe high and will be a source of fuel for you AND your goal.

6. Crafting and devising the perfectly imperfect plan to make your goal a reality. Notice the words imperfectly perfect. Years of experience crafting and going after goals has shown me that my plans are often incomplete or out of step with what really needs to occur to accomplish the goal. Practice though does make perfect. The danger in trying to develop the perfect plan is that you will plan and plan and plan and never actually progress because you believe the plan is not quite ready. Do the work – and then get ready for the next step. And remember, Proverbs 16:3 Commit your works to the Lord And your plans will be established.

7. Taking committed, disciplined action.  I have found that with goals, any action is better than inaction. Having said that, it is also wise to stop for a hot minute and ask yourself what the NEXT BEST ACTION could be that would get you closer to your goal. Then-do THAT. Keep in mind Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.  And – when you follow this advice and keep the Lord in mind as the ultimate reason you are expanding His Kingdom, it just makes goal crafting and achieving so much better.

That’s it. 7 steps, guided by biblical truths, that you can use to craft the life of your dreams – the one that is right there – on the other side of your goals. 

To be sure, this Goal Crafter System is merely the framework to utilize to get the momentum going with your goals. There are many, many nuances to the process of crafting and accomplishing your goals – nuances such as roadblocks, repetition, and review, for example.  

But starting with this model is a great place to begin. Be still and be real today with the ultimate mentor – God the Creator. Your best life awaits.

[gascon-en-exil]

Oh, I’ve thought of something I can do as regards final(ish) evaluations of FE16. Last spring I made a personal tier list of the series’s lords, and I’m now familiar enough with the four lords of Three Houses to add them. Using the same categories as that earlier post:

S Tier - interesting, narratively engaging, and (usually) fun to use

Dimitri (probably above Micaiah, definitely above Eliwood) - It is so strange to me to see Dimitri end so high up overall, because going into the game there was a lot riding against him. Marth and his various imitators have never interested me much, and Dimitri’s post-timeskip design is so distastefully haggard that I guessed that he’d be distinguished from that lot in ways I didn’t care for either. But like Eliwood before him Dimitri makes the earnest all-loving hero work, splicing it with a lot of background trauma and even more moral greyness that gets to look and feel off-putting for a good half or more of his Part 2. Placing the onus for Dimitri’s change of heart on Byleth’s personality-deprived shoulders is a big letdown, more so when you realize just how much the writing of Azure Moon has to contort itself to make it happen, but at the end of the story he’s well on his way to recovery regardless with the potential for some happy years ahead of him that do not necessarily involve Byleth in any major personal capacity...which is more than you can say for Edelgard. He doesn’t want to conquer the continent but gets the whole thing dropped in his lap anyway, and we can hope he acquits himself better than the likes of Ephraim or Ike when placed in similar situations. And speaking of Ike, I like him less now that Dimitri exists as a same-sex-inclined male lord far more to my personal taste. He may have the marriage endings that Ike pointedly lacks, but not even the game can write around the bond he shares with Dedue without (sometimes temporarily) killing one of them off. Also, lance lord - not as sparkly as light magic, but he’s got some of that too if you’re determined enough.

A Tier - fun unit and may have interesting character potential, but I’m less invested in exploring them

Claude (between Hector and Lucina, approximately) - Delightfully broken as a unit, and even though I could do without the persistent fans that insist he’s got to be bi while ignoring that Dimitri already very much is that’s not so different from the issues I have with the fanboys of Sigurd and Hector and their spiritual successors. It occurs to me that, for all that his naked manipulation of the game’s self-insert is completely unlike anything we’ve ever seen before in a series protagonist, Claude effectively blends a bunch of traits from past characters and still comes out feeling fresh (and maybe just a little evil). He’s got Lyn’s biracial backstory, Quan’s ambitions of conquest with good PR, Lewyn’s wind association and carefree façade, Ike’s simplistic takes on how to fix racism, and the collective no homo-ing ability of the entire cast of Awakening. I like how he’s the quiet political threat waiting in the wings once Edelgard and the Agarthans have been dealt with in Azure Moon and Silver Snow, but it’s a threat the game never belabors since one supervillain house leader is more than enough. That he exists as such while also being the lord with the most effective in-game press and a clear, morally-driven goal in mind is nothing short of remarkable.

B Tier - either overwhelmingly average, or with both strong positive and strong negative aspects that balance each other out

Edelgard (above Corrin, if I’m being charitable) - Ugh. I was tempted to put her lower, but to her credit she is more compelling than Marth and the like. Too bad that half of why she’s so compelling is the inconsistency of her character; the way in which Edelgard is crippled by the game’s writing (a contractual requirement for female lords) is that it asks her to be both an imperialistic, dictatorial villain and a personally and politically sympathetic antiheroine. If only she’d been allowed to be a pure villain character she would have been fantastic, and I might have even ranked her above Claude. Her traumatic past feeds into her motivations such that it allows her to think that she’s doing the right thing even though she’s not (important for any well-written three-dimensional villain), and the revelation in Verdant Wind that her crusade was based almost entirely on false information adds to the dramatic irony and the inherent tragedy of her character. It is my personal belief that Crimson Flower is best approached by following Hubert’s example and going full Evil Overlord with it, and then it becomes so much easier to handle an ending where Edelgard has been set up by the very people who destroyed her family and childhood to throw Fódlan into chaos and replace the continent’s oldest institution and all its former governments with an alleged meritocracy where all her friends - most of them nobility - get to rule everything and she probably won’t live to see it all collapse. But no, on every route you’ve also got to deal with her bizarrely-expressed attraction to Byleth, and this just drags her overall presentation down even as it’s trying (very awkwardly) to humanize her. It’s little wonder that Edelgard is so polarizing, and I can’t say I’m a fan.

D Tier - OP unit, terrible character

Byleth (above Robin) - Like Edelgard, Byleth suffers because the developers couldn’t stick to one script on what to do with them. They’re less of a self-insert than previous Avatars on account of significantly limited customization options, and yet (in theory) more of one because the player can now choose dialogue options at points in the script, usually to no meaningful effect. They’re a mute amnesiac thrust into the role of teacher at a military academy, which lends itself to all sorts of wacky school shenanigans in fandom and allows the player to superimpose a personality onto a mostly blank slate - at least until Byleth is revealed to be the mortal vessel of a goddess and the child twice over/grandchild/sibling/parent of one of the game’s major players who they incidentally also have the option to sleep with. I’m not sure who Byleth is meant to appeal to, really; fans of Avatars will dislike their preset characteristics both as a self-insert and as a unit, while fans who dislike Avatars (like myself) will hate how the writing forces them to be important to the plot and to other characters’ arcs even outside the whole dragon/goddess angle. I would place Byleth over Robin, however, for two reasons. One is that their plot significance is telegraphed from the very first cutscene and not held off until the game’s final chapters, and that on three of the four routes they are clearly secondary to that route’s house leader in overall importance. The second is that their lack of a proper voice unlike all the other characters makes it less irksome than it otherwise would be for me to have to use f!Byleth to bang most of the male cast. In a game that almost completely flubbed its self-insert M/M options and left all the good stuff to Dimitri’s harem and a few miscellaneous guys, I’ll take what I can get.

[quarantingz]

inner rebirth

4 june, thursday

9.21am

This is not what I intended to post after my long blog hiatus...

But I read a Yes Theory email post today and this is what Matt wrote…

“Change, in ourselves and in our world, requires tearing down old thoughts, beliefs, systems.

It requires a re-birth.

And that is inherently uncomfortable.”

Something shifted. It was not the first time I had heard something like this.

2020 has been a crazy year so far (major understatement), it’s only the start of June and so many things have happened on a global level and even in my personal journey. And currently, specifically the Black Lives Matter Movement that has blown up in the media, I’ve been refraining from posting anything on social media and “saying” something via my public platform. For me, it’s simply not enough nor something I feel inclined to do because everyone is doing it. The more I think about it and then overthink about (haha of course), for me, it would be an act of simply trying to appear like I’m part of the movement - but deep down I know it’s just a superficial act that doesn’t change how I act and do life. But as usual the media has blown everything up and I feel like society and EVERYONE has to have a perspective and be inclined to share. I have no issue with anyone who does share and speak up, in fact, that’s awesome and I love reading and seeing that! 

But for me, it’s becoming clearer to me that if I say or post anything, I want it to not only reflect myself and my opinions, but to also translate through my actions in everyday life. I want what I say to be what I do.

I’ve been challenged this year to bring my words to life and to actually be intentional and active in the things that I promise, aspire or say. I don’t want to post because everyone is doing it. I want to act in real life. A lot of what I’ve been reading is truth and it’s beautiful to see so many people around the world “coming together” as a community and sharing the unheard voices of Blacks.

But the quote above was something a little different for me. I immediately got the message and sense of inner-change. It’s the act of “re-birth” that is so profound and has been circling my mind recently (and in bible study and Expressions). I’m going through the transition and phase of re-learning what I know about Christ and the Bible. I was reminded of the simple truth to be Jesus on Earth - to love like He did and to be a walking expression of our Father. It made me think about all the love that I’ve seen saturating social media these days and the juxtaposition between the fluffy posts and what I’ve heard and seen on the news. For example, to touch on it lightly, the violence of some protesters and aggression towards innocent bystanders and police. Also the looting and destruction of public property and rules. With what I’ve been learning about sin and the act of separation between ourselves and God when we sin, made me think about this in our current global situation (contemporary context YES!)...seeing people less than what they are (which is equal in God’s eyes) and treating people like shit IS NOT OKAY. We’re not only separating ourselves from God because we’re not loving as He wants us to, but we’re essentially separating ourselves from each other. I can’t speak for everyone, but it’s soooo much easier to be kind to people, to act with love rather than violence and abuse (physical, verbal, intentional or unintentional etc). ARGH, we can’t keep going in loops again and again as history keeps repeating and reminding us (look at all the wars in the past and now!)

Anyway, a quick thought as well on the act of posting, especially the black square on Blackout Tuesday, which for me is turning into a desperate “front” and “presentation”, not an actual action, to appear not racist and for the movement. To me this is merely acknowledgement, which is great, it’s a start...and I’m not saying I’m perfect and doing all the right things during this period of history, but I just think acknowledgement is not enough - it’s a start, but it’s not enough sorry.

Of course I was initially very disturbed by what took place in America with the death of George Floyd, but also thought about all I’ve learned in high school history and how entrenched racism is in America…STILL. But also how common it is in the WHOLE WORLD, even. Sadly, it didn’t change what I knew, in fact, it supported this feeling of hopelessness I’ve always had towards issues like racism and sexism. I’ve seen this stuff before, not even to just Blacks, but minorities all the time! Not to be dramatic, but until now, I’ve always been cynical and I thought racism, sexism, what have you, will be around till the day I die. And this tolerance and submission (and inactivity) that I have towards what our society is currently, is disgusting. I know.

Which brings me back to the quote that I read and how true it is…in a weird coincidence (although it is never a coincidence aye!), what I’ve been learning through Expressions and what Matt wrote, I realise the importance of the NOW. The increasing relevance in shifting our minds, paradigms, what we’ve learned, in order to soften our hearts to change ourselves from the inside out. We cannot afford to sit back and be a spectator anymore. But there needs to be more than just a post, a nod in agreement, a passive discussion, to do something and change ourselves.

I’m not too sure what I will do right now or what the future holds, but I guess I’m talking about myself right now, and my epiphany to act. But it’s going to take a transfiguration and transformation of my soul, mind and heart to change.

As Matt said and even in the Bible, rebirth is necessary. Renewing our mind - learning, re-learning and dismantling society’s system - being a kind (not just decent) human being and actually LISTENING, is what we can strive to do on a daily basis and in REAL LIFE.

Rebirth is hard and it will take time.

It’s going to require effort.

It’s going to be uncomfortable.

It’s an inner fight from within. Within our community. Within our society. Within our culture. Within the system. Within our minds and our hearts.

Acknowledgement is important...but true, deep change to ourselves and the world, occurs when we change what’s inside...

- a (just ONE voice in the sea of human voices)

p.s. there is a lot I want to talk about “rebirth”, but maybe next time :)

[fandom-heaux]

Merry Pitchmas

@emilyjunk Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I present to you **drumroll**  your (slightly) fluffy Bemily Christmas oneshot! Hope you enjoy 💕

Dec. 5th

All Steamed Up was by far Beca’s favorite coffee shop. It was pretty much always vacant, save for the morning crowd. The staff was nice enough to treat her with respect, but not enough to talk her to death. And it had just the right amount of hipster energy, whatever that meant. Regardless, it was the perfect place for her to comfortably work on her music in peace. However, with the holidays fastly approaching, she was getting increasingly annoyed with how festive the place was becoming.

Beca looked up from her unofficial designated seat in the corner of the cafe at the line baristas behind the counter. They were all wearing some type of Christmas headdress, whether it be a sparkly santa hat or some glittery ass antlers. She thought they all looked fucking ridiculous, especially since she was not too fond of Christmas time.

Just then, an almost model-esque girl came dashing from the back room, still in the middle of tying her apron. If Beca could recall correctly, she started seeing this girl around the shop about a month ago. She wasn’t sure what it was about today, but she couldn’t help but notice a few things about her. She was incredibly tall, towering over a majority of her coworkers. She was absolutely stunning, her long brown hair flowing down her back as she worked meticulously. And, at the moment, there was no sign of Christmas anywhere on her tall frame. Could it be that she wasn’t all that much of a Christmas fan either? 

“Beca?”

When the girl she had just been ogling called her name, Beca’s eyes widened, partly from embarrassment and partly from confusion. It took her a little too long to remember that she had ordered a drink and that the girl was just doing her job. Beca slipped the bulky headphones from around her neck, stood up and made her way to the front counter.

The tall girl sent a very charming smile down at Beca as she accepted her cup. “One vanilla chai latte for you, Beca. Enjoy!”

“Thanks uh…” Beca glanced at the girl’s shiny gold name tag, “Emily.”

Beca glanced back up at the girl and tilted her head to the side.

“How come you aren’t wearing any corny christmas headgear? Not a fan of the holidays either?” Beca wasn’t sure why she felt the need to ask. Part of the reason she didn’t mind coming all the way to this specific coffee shop was because no one bothered her. But maybe, just maybe, it was worth changing that little ideology. It couldn’t hurt to have an associate here, especially if they shared a dislike for this overly cheery holiday. It’d be one less thing she’d have to explain about herself.

However, Emily seemed slightly taken aback. She reached up to her bare head before nervously chuckling. “What? No I love Christmas! It’s actually a funny story. You see, I had to rush out of the house this morning cause my stupid alarm didn’t want to go off. And then I remembered that I had run out of cereal last night, so I had to stop for breakfast because hello, most important meal of the day. Anyways, long story short, I totally forgot to grab my elf ears amidst all the cha-”

Beca’s free hand was splayed out in front of the girl, gesturing for her to stop. And she couldn’t see her own face, but she already knew that her emotions were written all over it. She hadn’t exactly meant to be rude, she was just so over this story before it had really even began. She had misread the girl’s lack of Christmas attire as a lack of Christmas spirit, and it was her fault.

“A-alright, I get it. Thanks for the drink.” And with that, she was back off to her corner of solitude.

… 

Dec. 8th

Emily was taking her time walking to work. She knew she ought to hurry up since she was almost late (again), but multitasking truly wasn’t her strong suit. So between rushing to work or sorting through what was on her mind, she chose the latter. 

Emily just couldn’t get that small grungy girl out of her head. “Not a fan of Christmas either?” Either? Did that mean the girl didn’t like Christmas? Who doesn’t like Christmas??

Emily couldn’t wrap her head around it. Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year. You had the chance to spend the day with family and friends, some of whom you haven't seen all year. The holidays encouraged happiness and true joy which was so important, especially since the winter season already provoked sadness. And of course she couldn’t forget about the presents.

So that girl, what was her name, Beca? She would have to be a real Scrooge to not like being apart of something like that.

Arriving at the coffee shop brought Emily out of her thoughts. She headed around back and slipped in through the back door, hoping no one would notice she was late (again). Finally making her way behind the counter, Emily looked over to the corner of the cafe where she normally saw Beca taking up residence. She smiled to herself when she saw the girl sitting there with huge headphones over her ears and a macbook parked on her lap. 

Emily had to admit, she liked seeing the girl around so often, but this not-liking-christmas-thing threw her for a complete loop.

During her break, Emily tentatively walked over to Beca’s table and took a seat across from her. She sighed before saying, “Why don’t you like Christmas? You look like such a nice girl and I can’t understand why you or anyone else wouldn’t find this time of year to be as magical as it is. It just doesn’t make sense to me. So can you, you know, help me understand?”

The entire time she spoke, she had been looking down at her hands and fiddling with the frayed end of her work apron. When she peered up at the girl who still had yet to say something, she noticed those headphones and mentally slapped herself. She couldn’t even hear her.

Emily lamely waved her hand at the girl, trying to her attention. When the girl in question slipped her headphones off her ears, she was all wide eyed and confused. Emily thought she looked cute.

“Hey uh, B-Beca? I just... wanted to ask you why you don’t like Christmas?” She finally asked her question, but felt a bit silly afterward. She didn’t know this girl from the next, and yet she felt so inclined to talk to her? Emily shrugged. How else does one make a new friend? 

“Uh… Capitalism?”

“Oh. Seriously?”

Beca laughed a little. “I mean, partly, yeah. Why does it matter to you anyway?” 

“Well, you’re the one who brought up this whole thing! I just want to understand.” 

“Alright alright, lighten up dude. I didn’t realize this was such a serious topic for you.”

Beca sat up a little straighter and looked upon Emily with weary eyes.

“I don't know dude, Christmas has pretty much always been a sore subject for me. As a kid I could sense the pressure that the holidays put on my parents. It made the actual holiday feel forced, you know? And then they split up and that just made Christmas lonely as hell. One year would be spent with my mom and her resentment. The next year I'd be sheltered up with my dad and his girlfriend that came from literally nowhere. But, even with all the crap that came with my mom, I still liked being around her more. And then she got sick and I could no longer visit her. And now she’s-” Beca suddenly stopped talking, her eyes cast towards the ground. 

Emily was hanging on the edge of her seat. How could she be so stupid. Of course someone would end up not liking Christmas if something tragic were to happen on that day or something. It hadn’t even occurred to her that some people probably didn’t have a family to celebrate with. That some people didn’t have anyone to love.

“Now she’s what?” Stupid question. Emily immediately regretted it, but she didn’t want this moment to end. Something told her that Beca wasn’t the type to overshare and that this moment was special.

Beca cleared her throat and hardened her face, the moment of vulnerability gone as soon as it came. 

“Nothing, it doesn't matter. Just, after all of that, I don’t feel the need to celebrate this stupid holiday.”

Beca calling Christmas stupid stung a little bit, but Emily could honestly say that she understood the girl a little more. 

Emily looked down at her watch and saw that It was almost time for her to head back to work. Her shoulders shrunk at having lost the opportunity to talk more with Beca. Before she got up to leave, she reached a tentative hand out to Beca’s, grasping her softly. 

“Thank you, Beca, for sharing that with me.” With one last smile, she got up and went back to work.

… 

Dec. 19th

For the fourth time this week, Beca stepped into All Steamed Up, the overwhelming smell of coffee hitting her nose. 

On any regular day, she would beeline to her corner and set up shop, diving head first into her latest mix. And today was a regular day, truth be told. But for some reason, her pace wasn't as fast as usual. Her gaze wasn’t fixed on her spot. Instead, her eyes were scanning the cafe, subconsciously looking for that tall, annoyingly bubbly girl named Emily. 

Ever since that day when Beca had practically shared her life story with the girl, she found it easier and easier to talk to her. (Nothing nearly as serious though. Beca still wasn’t too keen on sharing those parts of herself). 

It honestly weirded her out how much she and Emily were starting to get along. When she thought about the personalities of the people she kept in her incredibly small circle, unbelievably silly and blatantly sexual held the top spots, courtesy of Fat Amy and Stacie. Super cheery and bubbly just had no room. (Well except for one Chloe B. But that's just how her best friend was. Huh. Maybe she wasn’t as non tolerant as she thought.)

Beca finally set her stuff down at her spot after not so subtly looking for Emily. She had almost given up her search when she finally spotted the girl in the far end of the room bussing tables. Relief washed over her frame as she watched the girl for a few minutes. She made no effort whatsoever to talk to the girl. It just kinda felt good to know that they were in the same room.

… 

Dec. 24th

Emily didn’t mind working the closing shift. It wasn’t her usual time, but she was more than willing to relieve the night crew of their duties and let them have a little more time to enjoy the holidays. Besides, there hadn’t been anyone in the shop for a couple of hours. 

Emily was in the middle of busying herself (by counting how many coffee beans went into making an espresso) when the door opened for the first time in a while. She hurriedly brushed the coffee beans onto the floor and put on her best smile before looking up at the late night straggler. 

“Beca?” The girl in question stopped dead in her tracks at her name being called. From what Emily could see, the girls eyes were puffy as if she had been crying. She was clearly upset.

“Uh, Emily… what are you doing here?”

“I dunno if you noticed but, I work here.” The smirk on her face took away any venom that the comment may have possessed. She and Beca had developed a pretty healthy rapport, one that consisted of teasing and maybe a little flirting. But they hadn’t gotten to the stage where Emily felt comfortable asking the girl what was wrong. So she settled with her usual tease and hoped it would cheer the other girl up.

Beca gave a half hearted smile and walked up to the bar stools in front of the counter before taking a seat.

“So, what can I get for you. The usual?”

Beca shook her head slightly before answering, “Peppermint hot chocolate?”

Emily was surprised. That was the only thing Beca had ordered off of the holiday menu the entire month of December. “Finally feeling the Christmas spirit, huh?”

Beca looked up at her behind watery eyes. “Trying to.”

Emily noticed the the girl not making an effort to joke back and realized that this was serious. She hastily abandoned her post and made her way to the neighboring bar stool. After little thought, Emily placed a hand at the small of Beca’s back. If the girl chose to open up, Emily would be right there, listening all the while.

“It was her favorite thing to drink on Christmas eve.” 

A stray tear made its way down Beca’s cheek and Emily carefully wiped it away.

“Hey, your mom would be so proud of you for carrying on this tradition. For loving the holidays and spending time with people that care about you.”

Beca let out a self deprecating laugh. “Yeah. Yeah she would be proud.”

Emily snaked her arm around Beca’s waist and the two girls just sat there, comfortable in each other’s presence. It wasn’t until Emily looked up and giggled that the silence was broken.

“What’s so funny?”

“Look at what we’re sitting under.”

Beca looked up at the ceiling and rolled her eyes. “Who the fuck puts mistletoe right there.”

“The idea was to get complete strangers at least talking with one another.”

“You know that’s kinda stupid, right?”

“But it’s working, isn't it?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”.

[comicteaparty]

April 15th-April 21st, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from April 15th, 2020 to April 21st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

If all webcomics everywhere suddenly costed money to read, how much would you be willing to pay to read them?

carcarchu

i've currently spent about 10 dollars reading paid webcomics and got about 60 chapters with that much. i'll be buying more webcomics in the future but if it's too pricy i'll be less inclined to buy

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I buy the print volumes of my favourite webcomics, which is about £10-15 for around 100-200 pages? Depends on the comic. But I do get a book to leaf through, so dunno if that counts.

carcarchu

as an added note the app i use to buy webcomics has an interesting feature where u can purchase "food" to donate to the author directly without / in addition to buying the chapters themsevles(edited)

oh now that chalcara mentioned it i also buy the physical copies of webcomics as well and i've probably spent close to 100ish on that

also also that same app gives u daily login coins and u can also watch up to 5 video ads per day to gain extra coins which u can use to buy more chapters or donate directly to the author

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I DID try a monthly subscription to a rather specific comic content webpage, but I don‘t like that comittment. Vastly prefer buy-once-keep-something-forever; even if it‘s just pdf.

Yeah, have bought pdf‘s of comics before because of shipping expenses.

So yeah, buy once, get something, yay! Subscription, boo.

carcarchu

i had to buy a monthly subscription thing for a webcomic once too but it was a completed comic and the app has a download button so i just downloaded all the chapters of it all at once. i could see the monthly payment being annoying if u had to keep paying it in perpetuity though

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've paid for comics before

I'd probably pay to keep reading the comics I love

but I'd be reluctant to invest money to read a new comic i don't know is good or not

i'd need a good friend, person I follow, or well written review's recomendation first(edited)

Feather J. Fern

I will buy physical copies most of the time. I do like having the print in my hands. If it was like a site sub though, like you can put your comics on a site and everyone gets paid a share, then I wouldn't mind because you get options.

But if it is just one comic though, I would be worried,

For example, if people were paid to upload onto Webtoons, but you have to pay like 5 dollars for reading for 1 month, I wouldn't mind because I still can choose what to read

But if for example, my comic is five dollars to read monthly by itself, I don't htink people want it

Especially new readers

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah i think that I wouldnt want to have to spend money to try a comic. Im really very picky and I wouldnt want to risk basically just losing money because I dont like a comic. To continue reading the ones I like I think I'd spend money, but honestly I'd probably only do that once they're complete, too. A monthly payment/subscription for a service with many comics, though, I could see myself paying for

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Depends. I’m fine with paying it at once to read it in one go, but not necessarily per month

Also would pay if I got to see a preview first

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

As a reader, I also prefer to know what the comic is about first, before committing to pay to read it, like going in blind. I prefer the subscription option to read any comic but not per comic chapter. I like to support the authors if the story appeals to me or purchase their ebooks(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I would likely pay to keep reading the ones I'm already into. But I would be very reluctant to check out new ones if I had to pay to even check them out. The first few pages aren't enough in most cases. I also wouldn't be averse to the subscription idea, assuming the platform isn't like, catering to a genre that I'm not interested in. Physical volumes actually don't interest me in most cases. Storage is a huuuuuge issue for me.

DanitheCarutor

Depends on digital vs. physical, the amount of content and quality. Usually I prefer a physical copy since I like collecting indie comics and am willing to pay 10USD - 30USD, I'll even pay high price for hardcover collector editions if I really, really like the creator's work. Like, I actually have a section of my bookshelf dedicated to printed webcomics, which isn't very full yet but I plan on practically overcumbering it someday. Digital copies and subscriptions, I'm oddly a little more stingy about. I tend to forget about stuff like that very easily, so to save myself from wasting money I would have to be almost a mindless fanatic about the webcomic to buy it digitally or keep up with a weekly/monthly pay subscription. As far as price, if it's a subscription I can't afford a whole lot since I'll probably be trying to take on multiple comics, a digital copy I may pay around the same amount as with a physical book.

I'm not too picky about what I would buy, if it looks really good or interesting I'll maybe subscribe to give it a look through, or buy a chapter/volume if I can afford it. Worst that would happen is I didn't like it after all but supported an indie creator trying to get their work off the ground. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I actually have in fact read many pay-to-read webcomics, and my experience has been somewhere in the middle. I think the most important thing is that the webcomic in question has the first few chapters as free-to-read so that new readers can get a feel for the story, because I wouldn't pay for something I didn't know I would like. The other things is for comics to be affordable. I'm not very wealthy, so the price of a comic chapter needs to be pretty cheap for me to invest. $1 per chapter is the absolute highest limit, and the chapter has to be at least 10+ pages. I'm way more willing to spend more money on print comics because it is something physical that I can put on my shelf, and because I know printing costs can be expensive.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

No way I'd pay to read a comic without having at least the first chapter free. Even if people are recommending it to me, I still want to see it for myself first. But even then... I don't know if I would spend money on an online subscription - I'd probably wait to see what people are saying about it, save my money, and shell out a bit extra for a print edition (if that's in the cards for the comic). If a comic is free online, I feel even more like supporting it with a physical purchase. If a webcomic is locked behind a paywall... I get it, but it certainly discourages me as a reader.

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Same here really. I much prefer giving money to a Patreon or buying merch for something I love than pay to take a chance on something I might not like

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree. I don't mind subscription if it's someone's work I enjoyed but I'm more inclined to buy physical copies or get my own digital pdf of the same thing tbh

Feather J. Fern

I wouldn't mind an idea of like, you get 1 page free a month (Slow I know) but you can buy the full thing now as an Ebook or something. That system would help the author get money (for people who want to support and love their comic from the slow post rate) and great for people who can't afford comic, and read them free at the library becuase they can't even afford computers at home.

I like the print comics too for libraries, gives comics more free access

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ah imagine if we could check out print webcomics at the library now

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

there is a few libaries that are doin that

Feather J. Fern

Yes! Actually, a few librarians went to Vancaf as long as it has an ISBN it makes it easier (Well we hope there is a copy catalogue somewhere lol) And I know in the US there are a lot more librarians grabbing comics for their shelves

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yesss which makes it super good

makes me wish I could go to my local libary but like everything else here, it's currently closed orz

Feather J. Fern

Hell, from a podcast I know there is a large interest in comics for libraries, and I know recently they are using comics to try to bring more literacy to people who don't want to read.

This might be off topic I will move it somewhere else

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Maybe when I get mine printed I'll go see if the local library would like a few

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

that is why I'm going to be a teacher. Get more people use comics for education lol

GuildmasterPhill

The tricky thing would be finding new comics to get into... how would you get exposed to them? And there are so many, how would you know which ones are worth whatever pricetag goes with them? It would certainly change the whole landscape of webcomics, to be sure.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It would probably increase the demand for webcomic reviews.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah

And again, the first few chapters being available as a sample would be really important.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Put in requests for webcomic print collections at your local library! They probably won't get bought during the lockdown, but at least your interest will be on record when the librarians get back.

Mine stocks some, although it's skewed toward really well-known ones -- Homestuck, Digger, Nimona, Cucumber Quest, Skin Horse, Penny Arcade, Gunnerkrigg Court (there's more, I just can't remember them off the top of my head).(edited)

Capitania do Azar

If I have to pay before I can know if I'll like the contents? I'd probably pass, unless there was some other big incentive for me to read it (like a friend's recommendation). Paywalls can be a big turnoff if you don't know what you're paying for, that's what I'm saying. However, if there were previews or free chapters, and then I had to pay to read the rest? I'd probably invest those €€€.

kayotics

I read Stand Still Stay Silent at the library, actually. That’s how I managed to actually get into it, I felt like it was a better experience. As for paying: I will sometimes buy a physical book of a comic I want to read but haven’t yet, just because reading on paper is easier on my eyes. So, sometimes I’ll pay money if I’m really interested in it. But it usually takes me a while to get to that point. If every webcomic went to a paid platform, I’d probably be less likely to read Webcomics.

Feather J. Fern

A thought occurred to me, if all webcomics are paid to read, how would the newbies, or highschoolers, get an audience at all if no one would buy to read their comic?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The under 18 creators does pose an interesting question -- are they allowed to make money at all? Would they have to get their parents to sign a thing for them?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I believe so

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

As for small creators with no existing fans, I imagine they'd have to rely on subscription platforms where readers don't have to pay for their comic specifically.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah, or just make no money like now

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

well, it would just also mean no readers because in this world, there isn't even an option to make no money in this world, the webcomic emperor has decreed that all webcomics must cost money to read, and you shall be thrown into The Pit if you make yours free

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Exactly

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

actually i guess you could kinda get around it by making your comic cost a penny

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

But yeah, you'd also not have readers and be unable to build a following

Basically the barrier to entry shifts and becomes more like traditional print publishing

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Slightly different from trad publishing since anybody CAN still post up their comic -- even if no one would read it X'D

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

TRUE

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

actually you know what it would kinda be like? steam like basically any game devs from the smallest indie devs to the massive corporations publish their PC games through steam. and to my knowledge, all games on steam cost at least some money so indie creators' only option to get eyes on their comic would be the same as indie devs getting eyes on their game. find someone popular willing to review it, and hope for some word of mouth.

Feather J. Fern

Odd take, hold a seminar or not really that but a group gathering where people pay like, 2 dollars, because money still needs to happen, so a bunch of newbie comic artists and pitch their first chapter or something

Oh wait I know what my brain was thinking

like comixlogy

If you can have like a section like "New comics starting out, you can read the whole first chapter for just 0.99" then I might scroll through and be like "You know what, I wouldn't mind some entertaiment"

I think also defintely reviews are really important with this situation

If someoene was like "This art is good, plot is good, grammar is good" I woudl be like "Yeah I would read the first three chapters"(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Steam sounds about accurate

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I definitely think that in this case, good reviews would be like gold

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Even Print comics do freebies to rustle up new audience. And steam has a pretty lenient „don‘t like this game? Get your money back“ policy.

RebelVampire

For me the answer here depends on a lot of factors. If it's a one time "bulk" purchase, I'd probably go from $5-$10 depending on amount of pages, time to read, and just overall quality. I'd of course have to be interested as well, but that's an aside point for me in terms of what I'd be willing to pay. Anything past $10 is just kind of too rich for my blood sort of thing, unless it's like a super volume or something. As a subscription, this would heavily depend on the service. How are they curating content? Do they add more content regularly? How much content do they have? How are they innovating to improve my experience as a reader and to be able to find content? How is the industry as a whole? Are there a few competitors making it an affordable option, or is it becoming like tv cable because everyone wants their slice of the pie? With this many questions, it's hard to put a price on a subscription service. Definitely no more than I pay for Hulu or Netflix. But honestly, with the state of the industry right now, I don't think the price would be justified if they made it even like $10/month. Cause as it stands none of the hosts really do anything to improve my experience as a reader and only make things harder for everyone.

Feather J. Fern

This topic makes me love webcomics more, people are giving it to us for free, and It is amazing the internet can give someone an outlet to do so. Thank you internet

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

If you can have like a section like "New comics starting out, you can read the whole first chapter for just 0.99" then I might scroll through and be like "You know what, I wouldn't mind some entertaiment"

@Feather J. Fern dang I would sign up so fast if there was a good subscription service like this. And same time it helps give something back to New creators!

Feather J. Fern

To be honest, if I had the money, and the power, and the programing skills I would. I would love to support creators like this. Becuase it also gives people confidence too.

[fuck-customers]

How petty are you?

I can't do this anymore. I need to quit this job, it's literary fucking with my mental health so much. So... I was originally scheduled to work Monday, Thursday and Saturday this week, which is pretty much a normal standard schedule for me. However, on Monday, my manager took me aside to ask if we could change my shifts around to be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and taking me off Saturday. I agreed because having Saturdays off is rare and I wanted to possibly make plans with a friend. I was dreading the four day in a row schedule though. Four days may seem normal to most, but let me just note that I'm very introverted, so being around so many people so much is extremely emotionally exhausting to me, and I also have really bad social anxiety as well and get overwhelmed easily especially on busy days. I can deal with my regular schedule no problem because usually there's a day or two between shifts so I can recharge. This time I didn't have that though, so I started having a constant feeling of anxiety pressing on my chest. So, all this prefacing is just for y'all to understand what state of mind I was in when the actual story occurred. It was nearing the end of my shift. Maybe half an hour or even just 20 minutes left. Everything had gone well the past few days, you know, aside from the constant dread and anxiety and all. But I got through it okay, because I tried to focus more on the fact that I'd just get it over with and enjoy three days off in a row. So this lady comes up and she goes to pay for her stuff; she drops some change into my outstretched hand, but the way she dropped it, a two cent piece didn't quite hit my hand right, bounced off and fell in the gap between the inset scale and the counter, never to be seen again. I looked at my little side table to see if there was another 2 cents in a little plastic cup we keep there for change that people dont want, but there was none. Of course not. So I sheepishly ask the lady if she has another 2 cent piece, because the other one fell. (Through no fault of mine!) She goes like "I'm not paying that again??" And her tone immediately had me kind of on edge. Okay, so she doesn't want to give me another 2 cents. That's fine, I honestly don't care that much. Her total was like... 7,37 or something, so I hand her back the other small cent pieces so I have 7,40 in my hand. I punch the 7,40 into the register and give her the change for what I punched in. She just stands there expectantly and goes "And what about the two cents?" And I was like "what about it?" Not fully processing what she meant (keeping in mind my brain was fried by anxiety already, I hadn't slept well at all and I just wanted to go home at that point) and she goes "Well it wasn't MY fault that they fell, so I should be getting them back." And I'm like "Weeell.. it wasn't my fault either though." Basically to make things short, she wanted me to give it to her out of my drawer, which I didn't want to do because I'm a hopeless perfectionist and even a small discrepancy in my register annoys the hell out of me. Also she was being a bitch, so I was even less inclined to give her what she wanted. Had I had a change cup, I would've taken it from there, or had she been nice about it,I would've even shorted my drawer for her. But like this? Fuck off, you don't get to be a bitch to me and still get your way. Maybe I'm being petty too, but... just no. And honestly I would say it WAS her fault that the piece fell anyways because she was the one who tossed her money into my hand haphazardly. Ofc I didn't say that out loud but... just saying. This went back and forth for a minute, her saying it was my fault that it fell and that this was unacceptable and how dare I, saying that the money was "going to me/the store in the end" (no lmao it's lost in the abyss of the register forever, I've been working here for almost a year and I feel like I still see the same things in the cracks as there were when I started. They literally never clean out or even open that part, in fact I'm not sure you CAN even open that part. Anyways I didn't really know what to do since I was already so frazzled from the previous days and too tired to really think about it in the moment, and I started to get increasingly frazzled as the anxiety grew in intensity and my heart rate went up just because of the hostile attitude she was displaying. Literally it wouldn't have happened like this if she had initially been nice about it bc the way she reacted immediately got me into that panicky state that may have clouded my judgement. Anyway eventually she gave up and left (not without rolling her eyes and mumbling something probably unfavourable) and I tried to cash out the next customer while trying not to cry, but I immediately punched in a wrong number for a vegetable and had to call for a manager to void it. On the PA my voice was already kinda breaking, I was shaking all over and the tears started coming. The two ladies after the rude bitch were really concerned and tried to comfort me, but I just completely broke down sobbing, bawling my eyes out by the time the manager arrived. He asked me what was wrong and I just barely managed to choke out that a customer had been really mean to me, which the ladies in line confirmed, saying the first woman had acted so awful. The manager hopped on the register and sent me to the back so I could calm down, but with all the buildup it was so bad that I cried for literally like half an hour- longer actually. Half an hour of hyperventilating, barely being able to speak, sobbing and bawling, violently shaking, my face and hands felt almost completely numb and some of my facial muscles were twitching uncontrollably- I don't know how or why that happened or if that's normal for a really bad panic attack, but it was new to me, never happened in all my anxiety filled years, it was the worst I've ever had in my life. So yeah, that's the story of how a customer sent me spiralling into the worst panic attack I've ever had, over two cents. Reading this, it may seem like I'm overreacting and maybe I am, but that's how it is with this bitch of an anxiety disorder. I also kinda didn't have the energy to recount the entire exchange word for word so it may not entirely come across how mean this lady actually was.