#so i don't really wanna hear shit
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So I made a dunmeshi sexuality headcanon chart?
Edit: I'm gonna list all the flags under a cut for anyone who needs that.
Senshi: MLM and Bear Brotherhood
Chilchuck: Bisexual
Marcille: LESBIAN OH MY GOD SHE'S SUCH A LESBIAN
Izutsumi: Aroace
Falin: Bisexual
Aaaand Laios: MLM on his chest; around his head, clockwise from the far left, are Asexual, Acespec, Aromantic, Aroace, Aego-aroace, and Demi-aroace. Just, lots of different possible aspec identities.
#most of my laios choices come from me projecting HARD on that boy#so i don't really wanna hear shit#i feel like his perception of his sexuality is directly influenced by the autism (again. projecting)#forgive if any of those flags arent the most common ones to use i was digging through search results and lesser known aspec flags vary a lo#dungeon meshi#senshi#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#izutsumi#falin touden#laios touden
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When talking about Boothill's drink order in 2.6, like. Hoyo could have just glossed it over and described it as "a few" or "several" drinks. They didn't bother to program in the actual glasses or anything- it's not like any of us were gonna count them and notice if they put in the wrong amount.
But they specifically chose the number seven, and if it IS just coincidence, it is a very very fun one.
Hsr is also known to make tarot card references- we had the online event shortly before Penacony's release, I'm pretty sure there's at least a couple simulated universe occurrences and a curio, and then Black Swan's Everything.
The Seven of Cups is a card about dreams and making choices when you have multiple options it front of you. It represents resisting self-deception and false dreams, and not letting yourself be charmed by hallucinations. It is a warning to carefully consider what is real vs what is not, which is very important in Penacony as a whole, being the land of sweet dreams, and it becomes relevant to Boothill later, when Primon starts to fuck with his head.
It can also represent someone who is "deep in their cups," which is a more polite way to refer to someone who uses alcohol as a coping mechanism to an unhealthy amount.
I hate that this could be a serious comment on Boothill being an alcoholic to cope with how much horrifying trauma he's experienced...and I have to discuss it looking at Primon's ridiculous fucking face fjkdslajldk
The overall message of the card is to stand fast, keep a clear head, and make your decision. Which suits Boothill beautifully even outside of this patch, since he is the very picture of ruthlessness and straightforwardness- he is able to see that bright clear line between action and result, and he follows it doggedly! Everything he does, he does wholeheartedly and decisively! And we see it especially well when he fights through the partial regression Primon leads him into!
Straight and clear and sure as a bullet, baby!!!
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail boothill#hsr boothill#this took longer than I thought it would I'm like an hour past my usual daily post time#ah well whatever into the void it goes#there's also a Chinese poem called Seven Cups of Tea which I think merits some consideration. but having both in one post was throwing off-#the flow and the vibe of the writing so I cut it. Boothill is obviously very Wild West based but hsr is still a Chinese-made game afterall.#('This American shit is easy' - some Hoyo exec probably flsajflkdsj)#as a note I'm not very well versed in tarot cards OR western movies: so if anyone has extra insights to offer I'd love to hear it!#@ me askbox me put it in replies or tags- whatever. I am unendingly curious about all things and I love to learn. I wanna hear it!!#I always try to look up if things related to Boothill are references to Western movies before anything else...but it's really hard to-#-look up that shit if you don't even have a film title. i now know there's a movie called 7 cups. thanks google.#hsr#boothill#hsr 2.6#honkai star rail 2.6
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op turned off rbs but is this about that dark past fangame that everyone is now lauding as basically pre-canon explorers despite it literally being just a fangame that also happens to be extremely racist with some of its messages
#bwark#i don't remember the exact details emery was telling about but the stuff with rampardos was very uncomfortable to hear about#it was basically something to do with him being a ''savage'' and some sort of lesser being? idk emery help me out here when you wake up#but like. does that remind you of anything#i also remember the fatphobic line about wigglytuff too. lmao#i think this can also be about e*ts. idk how edgy it gets but ive heard that it treats the explorers cast like shit in order to hype up#breloom as the obvious writer's pet. and also everything ive heard about it makes it seem like it was made out of spite#like iirc grovyle's character is basically the writer getting pissed at explorers fans for wanting a remake and saying to move on from it#and like. that would be fine (without the passive aggressiveness) if it was more about explorers fans giving the 3ds games a chance#but it wasn't that it was just berating explorers fans for wanting more explorers stuff WHILE BEING AN EXPLORERS ROMHACK#like do you not see the hypocrisy there#it really gives reborn vibes as something just completely made out of spite#not even going into how weirdly both of these games treat the female characters#anyway pmd fans stop putting romhacks on a pedestal and lauding them as ''basically canon'' just because they fufill your edgy quota#ALSO THE CHATOT POINT IS SO TRUE#''e*ts calls out chatot for stealing our money'' chatot literally only takes money because it's a fee from the exploration federation and i#literally says this in-game. you are shooting the messenger when you parrot this take. this man is just doing his job he doesn't personally#have it out for you lmao it's fine to not like him as a character but some of you need to get over your childhood grudge against him#<- tags that remind me i need to finish my chatot analysis but i don't wanna replay eos rn to screenshot hunt
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if you mention any sort of bird larger than the average blue tit you can be damn sure every person in a mile radius will tell you how terrifying and hideous that bird is
#'wah i think cassowaries\shoebills\any ratite whatever else are really cool :D'#'OMG they are so SCARY i hate those THINGS'#ok!! didnt wanna hear it#also. some of them are genuinely dangerous animals you should not approach. like the cassowary#but you don't have to make shit up#'they killed so many people'#no they didn't. there are two confirmed deaths#one was a pet and one killed its hunter#and most of them are not even dangerous (they can still hurt and you shouldnt approach)#like. the average bird will run from you. they are not bloodthirsty violent animals. tho again you should not approach them because they ar#wild animals. and they dont want people around#also dangerous does not equal evil#tigers are real fucking dangerous but everyone loves them#but big birds are terrifying monsters insteaf apparently#OOOK#sorry ramble. just everytime i want to read\watch about these beautiful birds everyone is talking about how evil they are shut up!!#thoughts#birds
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People that listen to TikToks on public transport full volume kys now
#Its so fucking irritating goddamn#if it's on a really low volume idc that much#but if the entire wagon can hear ur shit it's just disrespectful and annoying for everyone else#I don't wanna listen along to ur French soap opera bitch ☠#Hotcat rambles
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i wanna cut my hair so so so so so soooooooo bad uuuuughhhhhh
#im literally fucking dying#like i just wanna like the way i look im just so scared bc my parents will give me sm shit for this but that's not fair even bc i deal w#their bullshit no matter what i do like im literally getting beat up & hit & ridiculed Anyway so shouldn't i at least get to do smth i want#god im just so upset and uncomfortable cause i was talking abt this to my closest friend and she said she doesn't think i should#cut it and just kept telling me that the way it is rn is good but it just isn't what i want and ik she's coming from a good place but it#just made me so uncomfortable and upset bc i just want someone to tell me what i want to hear even it's not the best#advice idk and ik if i cut it ill deal w shitty horrible aftermath but im already getting on my parents nerves no matter what i fucking do#im so sick of everything and ill be starting uni soon and i don't wanna go bc there's just so many ppl i don't wanna see but at the vv least#since i have to go i just wanna look good and comfortable in my own skin#and im really scared i wont ever have that like i don't even think ik anything about me let alone what i want to look like but i miss short#hair it made me comfortable like the only reason i felt a bit uncomfortable was bc i was getting a lot of shitty stares and glares from men#and such god whatever everyone is so awful and i am so unbelievably tired
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i completely forgot that i didn't tell my dad that i got my lip pierced and he saw it when we were video chatting yesterday, so he asked me sarcastically: "what is it gonna be next, nipple piercings? 🙄"
however i didn't have the heart to tell him that i'm only planning to get those after i have top surgery lol
#old man you have a big storm coming lmao#he's an insufferable shit so it really doesn't matter how he feels about any of this#i just don't wanna hear him bitch and try to “convince” me not to do something#that's why he only finds everything out post factum#he lost my trust long ago
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(Love your most recent post re anon) AAAAAAAA THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER! AND THE ART IS AMAZING+!!!!
Also I wanted to add I agree with the other anon. Cargo plane is my all time fav fic for so many reasons. It starts out for fun and playful but the conversations the characters have were honestly life changing.
It's also the only fic I've recommended to other people! I've asked my fiance to read it 😂
//clutching my chest
H-H-HUH????
#velvet answers#you guys are gonna make me cry#i don't wanna get too soppy but I'm so blessed to have you guys you don't even know#a few years ago I'd gotten banned under my main from a transformers server bc the owner and their friends realized I wrote cargo plane#and said that knowing I was into fat kink was super uncomfortable which w/e i completely get#but then someone started vague posting abt me and stirring up shit in their inboxes and I was so embarrassed and ashamed#bc cargo plane is like. something i wrote to tackle my own feelings about loving our bodies not *despite* but *because* of their fat#and sometimes I'm hyper paranoid about if I'm going to get a message saying I'm a predator#when I've left body positive spaces and given up resources to keep people comfortable#idk just. hearing how much my story about a fatass robot has made your lives better and made you love yourselves is just.#QmQ IT FEELS REALLY GOOD. LIKE I'M NOT JUST WEIRD I'M DOING SOMETHING NICE FOR PEOPLE.#sorry ugh I really love you guys#testimonials
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Sometimes talking to my dad is like trying to grab a small, stubborn child by the shoulders and shake them into a new consciousness. Mans had the audacity to sulkily ask why it felt like I didn't want to talk to him anymore this morning and then was genuinely offended when I responded that I had to go and couldn't talk anymore. This was, mind you, after he asked how I was doing and I let him know that I was not feeling too great since my friend's death was revealed to be due to her boyfriend murdering her yesterday, and my dad proceeded to go "oh, well I just left the store because this couple was fighting, and I just do not want any negativity around me today" and then, without taking a breath, proceeded to ramble on for 20+ minutes about buying himself some much needed socks and then some shoes to match said socks because why not they're right there... Like, bro, my guy, homie, why would that god awful immediate topic change make me feel like continuing to talk to you?? Gtf off my phone
#ughhh I do not understand this man sometimes#he had literally just been complaining to me about the shitty year he's having but let me mention murder one time and the topic must#immediately be switched#this is why I don't really like answering his calls#he has a pre-formed script sometimes that he Refuses to switch from#boop's rambles#my grandmother also threatened me that I'll have children (already enough right there) just like me one day#so all my relatives are going in timeout#I don't wanna hear shit else 😂😂
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i hope those barricade brigade bitches realize they're the most insufferable people on the planet. like seriously, you're dedicating yourself to going to as many of these expensive ass shows as possible and are fighting tooth and nail for barricade every fucking night? and then you have the nerve to be PROUD of yourself for it??? no. nuh uh. die.
like, most people are lucky to get to go to ONE of the shows, and if they happened to shell out that extra money to get GA so that they can see MCR up close for the only time they're ever gonna get to see them, then why the fuck do you think YOU'RE entitled to that spot at the front instead of them? IF YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN THE FUCKING SHOW FROM BARRICADE THEN FUCKING STEP BACK oh my god it pisses me off an unreal amount. the fucking self entitlement, the fucking privilege, its fucking unreal.
#i don't wanna start shit and i'm only confident posting this here because i really don't think its gonna get to any of those people#though I'd be totally down to say this shit to their face#i don't wanna like start 'drama' i just think they need to fucking hear this already#and i had to fucking rant about it because it seriously pisses me off SO fucking much#it triggers my anger issues so bad and i had to VENT
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Hi as another nonbinary person you read the comic in 2013 it took me forever to see the trans allegory and while I like the idea of a trans person and a well meaning cis gay navigating a goverment that hates them together the shapeshifter = trans is a shitty message and the film seems to take all the nuance and fun out of the comic
I actually really like the shapeshifter allegory, it's more of a shapeshifter = genderfluid and had been done to death in media, but for good reason. being a shapeshifter is like one of the best superpowers for a genderfluid person because you can instantly change your appearance to match your current gender expression.
ok I'm done talking about a movie on a political blog lmao
#asks#I'm not tagging the movie on purpose so it won't show up to people following the tag#because fans wouldn't wanna hear my shit takes lmao#I'm a fan as well I just don't really wanna voice my criticism on tags that suppose to support the movie#I think it's cool that it exists! if just highlights the rise of black and white “punch a nazi and nothing else!” mentality#that so closely resembles the “american hero saves the day from the villain that Had A Point without addressing the Point”
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What gets me is when older gens/parents get online and angrily respond to someone questions abt how things used to work like maybe because yall didn't teach them shit. How do you expect them to know just spontaneously have knowledge of how things works when they were kids or before they were born. Or the millennials who wanna be old so bad and be condescending "most ppl under-" miss me with that bs
#i swear they wanna be old so bad#like do they honestly think ppl under 25 haven't watched things on VHS#or used map quest or used a portable cd player#they wanna shit on the younger gen so bad and victimize them for feeling old self inflicted#they look stupid because they don't know how old gen z is#like they really think we don't know what *69 is that was my cousins and mine favorite pass time as kids#shock horror we had phone books im 23 and i know what a phone book is#somewhere off in the distance you can hear a millennial cry because they found out they weren't special#and found out that they shared life experiences with a gen zer
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hmmm sometimes i like to be oblivious to the history my predecessors lived through
#like i don't wanna hear about all the horrible shit my great grandmother's family lived and died thru#i dont wanna here about the men who'd scalp 'indian' populations bc they were trying to protect their land#i dont like hearing the details of irish treatment#like id like to unlearn it but i am a product of yhay history so do i really have a choice
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ik she'd never play favourites and stuff but god its like. depressingly clear how much my mum prefers hanging out with my cousin over me. they have outings and regular movie nights and go on walks together and run errands and do chores they do literally everything together. and honestly its not just that like... even when im hanging out with the two of them i know she's more focused on my cousin. like she takes an interest in his interests. she asks him about spanish all the time but doesn't give a shit that i'm learning portuguese. i feel like i bore her whenever i try to speak. i always wanna let him ride shotgun the rare times im out with them because she can hold a conversation with him but not me. and whenever i'm alone with her she just treats me like a receptacle for her dumb fucking rants about facebook drama and then she seems so surprised when i have good advice for her even though i Always have good advice. she treats me like her talk therapist. she never thinks about my needs or my life or my interests. not that i even wanna tell her about it.
and like. for my cousin's birthday she got him a paranormal activity 6-movie blu ray box set because it's their favourite film series to marathon together. like they've rewatched it a bunch of times. they discuss their fan theories and everything. yknow what she got me for my birthday this year? nada. which is PORTUGUESE for nothing. god and they had that spontaneous weekend partying in london together and then a few months later she fucking planned a trip and went to sussex alone even though she knew id been wanting to go to sussex with her for literal years. she kept saying she'd take me then she didn't. what the fuck.
#honestly i don't even envy their relationship because i know shes making him her surrogate spouse#ive kinda been there before and i don't wanna be that. it sucks#but im really sad because like. i love my cousin but i never get quality time with him like he and my mum Constantly have#nobody in my family ever wants to watch movies with me#god my dad and brother saw oppenheimer together today too theyve seen it 3 times together now#fuck this i HATEEE IT#i really need to like get in touch with my great auntie or someone i neeeed a relative i can hang out with#im so sick of nobody in this house giving a shit about me!!!#im so sick of craving attention and approval from people who will just never give a shit#ive felt this way for years like i remember telling my old therapist about this too it just. keeps happening and idk what to do about it#im so sick of listening to my brother infodump about programming languages#im so sick of hearing my mum talk about facebook#im so sick of my dad making a token effort but clearly struggling to connect with me#and. im not angry at my cousin but im sick of my mum always giving him attention.#its day in day out. constant low level misery and loneliness
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#tag talk#vent#I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic#empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good#the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool#but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting.#do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot#because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot#ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now.#it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that.#but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh#the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds.#if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help#but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server#I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear#making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already#meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me.#I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois.#I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school.#the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way#though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild.#anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable.#everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef#nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another.#you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely#both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation.#everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference)#anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad.#I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch.#so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?
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the other day with the fam i got triggered by something that seemed like a really obvious trigger to me but like hey nobody's a mind reader so whatever and after stupidly enduring it for about 20 minutes i expressed discomfort and my one cousin was like oh come on just one more and i said "oh i think i'll just go home now" (like informatively i mean not threateningly) and then they were like aw :( okay, okay we'll do something else and i do think this was marked down as another 'wow adam is so neurotic' moment but i was talking about it in therapy today and my shrink made The Face so when i got home i called the cousin i'm closest to from that group bc suddenly i felt better equipped to explain "hey <that> reminds me of <this> and that's why i withdrew like that" and we had a good little conversation about what to do next time and reassurances on both sides re: if i leave that's okay and re: if it happens again that's okay BUT her initial response was to say "but <that> isn't <this>, they're different things" and it felt like she was telling me i was wrong and i hated it bc i knoooow they're different i'm not fucking STUPID why is your instinct when i'm explaining why i got upset to tell me why it shouldn't have upset me are you serious shut up!!! but whatever. i laid the groundwork for next time to be easier and anyway "tough" conversations like this strengthen relationships. it's fine.
#if i told you what <this> and <that> actually were your jaw would fucking drop but it's unnecessarily intimate#so just think of the craziest shit you can imagine okay#i'm always like 'why is it so hard for me to talk about my feelings 😡' and then when i do people say#'oh you really shouldn't feel that way'#thanks i don't ever wanna share another emotion with you again#i think they have that response bc i seem like i'm in a good place to hear it due to my emotional affect issues#but i'm not#it genuinely comes across to me like telling a crying person that they don't need to be wasting time on this#except i'm not crying bc if i was crying then they'd respond more appropriately#whatever#i have to shut up or i'm gonna spiral lmao#adam talks too much
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