#so i do feel a bit of a pressure haha

[laugtherhyena]

Update! I'm releasing chapter 24 (on Ao3) this friday! Afterwards I'll refrain from updating until i have a chunk of the remainer Ch4 chapters done

This is mainly because writting for chapter 4 has consistently been proving to be harder than i anticipated, i want things to come off right and to feel a certain level of security on that regard I'd like to have at least these 3-4 chapters around in my folders where i can go back and edit stuff on previous ones if i decide to tackle things differently or change the arrangement of scenes and I can't have that safety net if I'm putting them out as soon I'm done with them.

On a good note, this means that whenever I'm over this segment of sorts there will be updates coming out weekly for basically a whole month! So look forward to that i guess

This is -2+2 chapter 25 (on Ao3) btw! Chapter 24 is fully done but I've been wondering if i should post it this friday or wait a few more weeks and resume posting in February to see if I'll have 2 or 3 chapters done by then

Like that, i could try uploading one per week during the month while getting work on the remainer Ch4 chapters in the meantime. Because i do miss having a few chapters completed prior to posting instead if getting one out as soon as I'm finished. Sorta take advantage of this surge of motivation here to get as much as i can done.

At the same time, it's been like 4 months since i last updated and i miss doing that so uh, let me know what you guys think? It's up to me feeling ot not feeling like updating this week at the end of the day tho

[rosylix]

i love that yall scream with me abt felix and stuff lolllll. i feel weird sometimes like i shouldnt post if im not writing cus yall are pretty much here for my writing.. so if im not writing like no one cares abt me lol but idk its still fun and it makes me so happy that yall still think of me even when ive not been active like thats so sweet?? jdnsjfjjs IDKK i cant articulate my thoughts correctly rn but i just wanted to say ily guys! 🤍🤍

[mad-hunts]

NIGHTMARES

another sleepless night, barton thought, except this time... he had company. it came in the form of wanda maximoff. a person whom, as far as he was concerned, was actually good. and the ugliness within barton's heart seemed to become even more prevalent to him because of that. a creased had formed between his eyebrows in worry before he turned his head to look at her. wanda looked so beautiful while she was sleeping, though, which was enough to make barton smile. the laptop sitting on his lap illuminated his face with its screen once more as he turned his attention back to it. there were numerous emails going back several weeks that were written in code on the page.

barton thought to just answer another one really quickly, but now, he wasn't so sure. what was more important to him: keeping up with the clients of his very unsavory 'business' or being present with someone the man might not have deserved but still had? with little hesitation, the laptop was soon being closed, before barton slipped it right back on the floor next to the bed. wanda seemed to have been tossing and turning a lot in her sleep that night. it made him wonder whether she'd ever suffered from nightmares. the answer, rather unexpectantly, coming much more quickly to him than he'd thought. barton nearly jumped back out of surprise when wanda had bolted up in bed, looking petrified. what came next was perhaps even more shocking however.

she'd practically lunged at him, her arm's embracing barton with such force that it was almost like he was her lifeline. a gasp left his mouth before he had time to realize what exactly was going on, ❝ wanda, oh my god, what's wrong? ❞ upon receiving no verbal answer but feeling her body start to tremble in fear, it was like a light switch had turned on inside of barton. he gathered her in his arms before pulling her even closer to the point where his head could rest above wanda's. although comforting people was not really his strong suit, he had to try, ❝ oh, ma blonde (my girl), you're shaking like a leaf. i'm so sorry. i'm assuming you had a nightmare, huh? well... you don't have anything to worry about now because you're safe with me. ❞

barton cooed, massaging her back up and down with one hand soothingly. he tried not to think about how much truth there was to that statement while just barely brushing his lips against her scalp in a kiss, ❝ i promise. i'm here for you, angel. ❞

[ssreeder]

i know the anon probably didnt have malicious intent but dont feel pressured into writing! we’ll love it anyway, doestn matter if it gets posted next week or next month!

Awwww you’re so sweet thanks for looking out for me :)

I agree I think they were trying to be funny lol, although it is the first time I’ve ever been called a bastard in an ask hah.

You’re amazing as always & I’m so happy you’re still enjoying my fic :)

[casuallyanidiot]

Yandere academic rival who really, really wishes he could just get you out of the way.

Dead dove Do Not Eat! MDNI ! NSFW !

Tw. Dubcon/Noncon, bullying, academic pressures, blackmail, oral sex, explicit photos, mentions of baby trapping, yandere, stalking, forced relationship, AFAB reader

Elias had a certain level of respect for you.

You both attended a prestigious university crammed full of students vying to make connections and nab a cushy position for themselves in the future, and while it was easy for him to be on top of the social and academic scenes, he knew you had to work a bit harder. He came from a very wealthy household, one where needing something was merely a concept and not something he ever actually encountered. You, on the other hand, definitely come from a lesser background than him and his circle. Your scholarship and just above the average academics seemed to have pushed you into a good spot to be hoisted into the same realm as him.

But he didn't really think of you much at first.

You were some nameless face that wasn't really worthy of being around him. Maybe he would catch glimpses of your hair, or someone woud mention you in passing and he'd pretend to be intruiged.

It was really when you started to be compared to him of all people that he started to really pay attention.

You were smart, cunning, and ruthless when it came to your assignments. Just like him. Normally he worked overtime, paid industry professionals to help review his papers, his study materials and poured blood sweat and tears into his academics. And yet you somehow managed to be on his level with less than half the resources. It drove him up a wall because if you were nearly as good as him now, then what could you be like if you had the chance?

Elias was like a man obsessed after your sudden, explosive rise in the minds of professors and lecturers alike. He spent hours studying, shirking his friends and other responsibilities just to make sure he was still better than you, to keep you in your place.

He started to focus in more on your personal life, too.

Where on earth did you come from? He's half convinced that you were genetically designed in a lab to piss him off. But the more he glares at the back of your head when you're not looking, the more he's transfixed. You're like a black hole, or some kind of other abyss like metaphor. Fuck, you had him writing poetry in his head. He hated poetry. He hated you. Or at least, he would really like to hate you, but he couldn't. You had the same amount of drive as him, maybe even a little more. No matter what he did, he was forced to acknowledge you, forced to be aware of every twitch of your hand or every flutter of your eyelids. To him, you were something that demanded attention, even if it was taken from him through gritted teeth.

The only reprieve from his spiraling was the fact that you felt the same way about him. He liked to imagine that you were just as obsessed with him, sitting there in the late hours of the night writing down equations with him as your sole motivator.

But then he finds out that he's not even occupying your mind, and he loses his shit.

"Oh Elias? Yeah I guess he's fine. Huh? Rivals? What the- no way I just want good grades. He has nothing to do with it haha."

You just said it in passing when someone teased you about it, and he knew that he shouldn't linger on your words for too long. If anything, it should make him feel better. You had nothing against him, so it meant everything was fine, right? Wrong. It was so wrong.

Elias was seething, nearly throwing a tantrum. How could you not even think about him. Him! You were some piddling, pathetic excuse for a human being, and you had the audacity to not even regard him when he spent nearly every waking moment thinking about you.

He was fine just watching you from the corner of his eye. He was fine knowing that on some level, the two of you had a respectable if not distant relationship. Just because in some aspect, he wanted a piece of you all to himself. And if you weren't going to let him just have a little bit of your life, your passion, your drive, he would just take all of you instead.

He follows you into the library late one night. You're sitting there, glowing in the warmth of the nearest lamp while your pen makes soft scratching noises against the paper. You look pretty. You've always looked pretty to him. You don't notice him as he approaches, and he feels any vestiges of doubt or restraint float away. Even now, as he loomed over you, you didn't even spare him a glance.

The library was empty. He made sure it was so before hand, and he's glad he did. The quite air was shattered by the sound of him shoving you over the priceless lacquered wood desk. Your eyes go wide as you take him in, and his hands fly up to your throat.

"Augh! What are you-?"

"Shut up." He hisses and narrows his gaze. Your pulse is racing underneath his fingers, and he has half a mind not to crush your windpipe into oblivion so that he can be the last one to feel it. "You have no idea," He mutters and leans in close. Your frightened breath ghosts over his skin, and he shudders. Now that he thinks about it, this is the first time he's ever been so close to you. It feels so right. He never wants to be away from you again. Not when you look so damn alluring with tears rolling down your cheeks and your clothes rumpled on the floor by his feet.

He wants you like this always, with your twitching cunt stuffed full of his fingers and your cries filling his ears. Soft, wet squelching noises met each of his ministrations, and a cruel, wonder filled grin spread across his face.

"You have no idea how much you've driven me wild," He laughs. It's a sharp sound that grates on your ears. "How much you infuriate me," Each word is punctured by a thrust, by a curling motion that has you gasping and seeing stars.

If this is what he has to do so that you notice him, so you will just fucking care about his existence more than you would any other speck of dust on the street, then so be it.

It only gets worse from there.

Elias takes photos of you. So many. Ones of your crying face, ones of your leaking pussy, some of him shoving his dick past your puffy lips. Once the camera shuttered and they were in his hands, it was all over.

He played the role of your boyfriend after that.

There wasn't a moment where he wasn't hovering over your shoulder, whispering threats into your ears. He gets you to start doing worse in your classes and on your assignments, and for once, he's happy. He finally has your eyes on him, and if you ever try to leave him or say anything, then he'll make sure you can never show your face around here again. Don't worry, though. He's kind enough to keep it so you won't fail outright. In fact, he'll just slip some money to some of the professors so you don't have to do anything other than sit on his lap and pay attention to him while he actually works for the top spot.

Elias takes you out on fancy dates as if it's any way to soothe the sting of having your life ruined. He pays for everything and practically preens under the feeling of finally getting what he wants. He's such a brat, and he doesn't even care about hiding it when he's with you. Part of the reason why he likes you is he can be his nasty, awful and conniving self and you have no choice but to accept it. He doesn't mind if you're reluctant or stubborn. In fact, he kind of likes it because in the end, you still gave in to have a chance to graduate from a prestigious school. And plus, now you're living the high life with him! It's kind of a win win if you think about it.

He loves having you sit on your knees (a cushion underneath them of course. He wouldn't want you to ever actually get hurt) and taking his cock in your mouth while he studies. You look so cute like that, with your eyes all narrowed in mildly hidden frustration, and he loves it even more when he thrusts into your throat. You always make these little spluttering noises that just drive him wild, and he clamps his thighs around your head to keep you there.

Elias who soon becomes the university's beloved model student. He's not going to let anyone get in his way ever again, especially not after he has you to provide for now. After all, he's got plans for you. Once he manages to put a baby in you, he'll know that your future family is secured, and he's got to support all of you. There's no way he can fail now!

[moonstruckme]

hi!!! wanted to req a poly! marauders x reader where the reader has never had anything inside before so like first time fingering if that’s okay 🫣 totally okay if not, love your work!!!! <3

Hi my sweetheart I’m so sorry I held onto this for sooooooo long but thank you for requesting I love you ! And thanks to @mareagirls for helping me out when I was struggling with the choreography haha <33

cw: smut mdni, fingering, inexperienced reader

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 837 words

Sirius, you think, is treating this all very casually. He’s lying on his stomach between your bent knees, legs kicking idly behind him while he circles your entrance with a finger. 

“Baby.” He looks up at you. “Could you stop being so nervous? I cut my nails for you.” 

“I’m fine,” you say, a bit affronted. 

Remus chuckles. His two fingers move over your clit in rhythmic, dedicated passes. 

“You’re all tensed up, sweetheart,” James clues you in. He’s lying on your other side with one arm cushioning your head. It’s almost like you could be going to sleep, except one of your boyfriends is tormenting your clit while the other attempts the breaking and entering of your cunt. 

“Not breaking,” Sirius had said when you made that joke earlier, looking at you in horror. “It’s going to be fun, not torture, you freak.” 

James’ other hand goes to your side. He gives you a little squeeze, and you gasp, ticklish. “See?” he asks. 

“Jamie,” Remus scolds, but he’s smiling. With his free hand he rubs the underside of your thigh, trying to calm you back down. “You don’t need to worry, dove. We’ll start slow, and we can stop anytime you want, yeah?” 

“I just don’t know how it’s going to feel,” you fret, shifting on the mattress to get comfortable again. 

“The point’s to find out, isn’t it?” Sirius is looking at you like he really wants to know. He holds up his index finger as though to exhibit it. “I’m only going in with the one at first, and slow like Rem said,” he vows. “It shouldn’t hurt.” 

“Definitely say if it hurts,” James agrees. 

You chew your lip, nodding. Sirius’ expression softens. 

“Just tell me if you don’t like it,” he says earnestly. “Say stop and I’ll stop, okay?” 

“Okay,” you say. 

“Good girl,” Remus praises, leaning sideways to kiss the top of your knee. His skillful fingers never stutter.

Sirius makes a soft sound of agreement, and then he slips one finger into your entrance. 

You’re prepared to be shocked, but he’s right; it’s not a substantial intrusion. You almost don’t know it’s there at first, until he swirls it around experimentally and a little “oh” stumbles out of you. Your hips shift. 

“Yeah?” James noses at your cheek, smile audible in his voice. “Not so bad, huh?”

“No,” you agree breathily. 

Sirius grins below you, planting a big kiss on the inside of your thigh. “That’s my girl. You’re so tight, sweetheart, fuck,” he groans, wriggling his finger against your gummy walls. “And your little cunt is so pretty. Next time we should do this with a mirror.” 

“One step at a time,” Remus tells him mildly. But when you push your hips upwards, he obliges you, increasing his pressure on your clit. 

“S’that good, honey?” James’ lips are warm and soft against the column of your throat, teeth barely there as he suckles at your skin. “Do you like having Pads inside you?” 

“Yeah,” you answer him again, voice pitching slightly when Sirius slips another finger inside you. Your eyes squeeze shut. 

“Shh.” James presses a gentle kiss over the mark he’s left. “You’re okay, sweet girl.” His murmurings, sweet and lovely and too quiet for you to understand, trail down your chest until he finds something he likes. His arm slides from beneath your head, hand finding your shoulder and resting there with a soothing weight. 

You know patience isn’t in Sirius’ nature, so you appreciate the restraint he’s using with you now. His fingers sponge in and out of you at an easy pace, shallow and careful. When you find it in yourself to open your eyes, he’s watching you from beneath his lashes, using your expression as his guide while he works you open. 

You moan when James sucks hard at a spot on the underside of your tit. 

“Don’t bruise her,” says Remus, still sour from the mark that’s yet to fade on his left pectoral. 

“Sorry.” James pulls his mouth from your tit, smiling at you sheepishly. “Is it okay if I leave you a pretty little mark, my angel?” 

“No kissing up to get what you want, either,” Remus grumbles, but you nod, and James goes back to what he was doing, albeit more gently. 

“You’re doing so good.” Sirius is leaning his cheek against your thigh now, seemingly lost in his own sort of trance. The weight tips your leg outward so that Remus has to grab your knee to keep him propped up. “So good for me, baby. Now,” his eyes gleam, and you know the look of it well enough to be both excited and a little bit nervous, “how would you like to try the feel of something else inside?” 

“Oh,” you say, caught offguard. “Um, I don’t think I’m ready for…” 

“I meant my tongue, sweetness.” 

“Hey!” James pulls his lips from you with a wet suctioning sound. “No fair, you’ve had your turn already! I want to go.”

[bunny-jpeg]

hey bunny !! can i get butter tart + soufflé with mai tai + sparkling water with oscar piastri please ?? extra service dom osc if you can pls🥰

-🗞️

bakery menu

want to submit your own fic? then check out the menu! there's something for everyone and i hope you enjoy it! if you have any questions please feel free to message me, i'm always happy to help! as for this lovely order, thank you for ordering! i love this combination, it's so cute. just a side note, i always find it cute that people request oscar in some of the most gentle situations. like various other drivers can vary depending on the order, but i find oscar the most consistent with like softer fics. which is fine! no judgement, i guess it just speaks to how he is in a way, haha. but thank you!

butter tart ("let's ruin ourselves for anyone else.") + soufflé: ("i'll be gentle.") + mai tai (loss of virginity) + sparkling water (gentle sex)

cw: smut/pwp, first time, virgin!reader, gentle sex, service dom!oscar, oscar takes your pleasure seriously, missionary. protected sex (smart oscar)

"i have an idea." oscar said one night, him curled into your side on the couch. his lips pressed against your temple, "i know you've been wanting to lose your virginity already. so tonight, let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."

you froze, your eyes wide as you looked at your boyfriend. it wasn't that you didn't want to lose your virginity. it was just hearing your boyfriend ask in such a forward way made your core throb.

oscar noticed your expression and said quickly, "unless you don't want to! that's fine too! i just thought i'd ask!"

you took his hand and linked his fingers between yours and said, "oscar... let's do it." then smiled at him, "let's ruin ourselves for everyone else." and you watched oscar light up

oscar led you to the bedroom. you had slept in the same bed multiple times, he had even fingered you on two occasions, but it had never been like this. it wasn't that your virginity was some guarded secret or you were saving yourself for marriage.

you just wanted to sleep with someone you were in a relationship. you thought getting out high school would make that easier since you were in a bigger city now and had more confidence. but the sea of men who wanted a quick fuck was a huge turn off. so, you just never lost your virginity. and oscar was the total opposite of them, he wanted to make sure you felt no pressure to have sex with him.

"you don't owe me anything, i want you for all of you. not just your body." he said as he held you hand while you were out getting coffee. it was so endearing that it made you want to have sex with him. it wasn't about hooking up, oscar piastri loved you.

you started to get your clothes off while oscar found an unopened box of condoms from his desk drawer. you jokingly asked, "should i be worried?"

oscar looked over and went a bit pink in the face, "oh no! they're new. um, i thought that they were better to have then not having them. we have to be safe." he shook the package and smiled. it made you giggle.

"don't worry." you said as you got your socks off, "i was just wondering if you were hoping to get lucky tonight."

he replied, with such honesty, "well i am lucky every time i get to see you." then gave you a smile. you were a bit gobsmacked by his comment as he went back to the bed. he then started to undress as well.

you wanted to cover your face as you said, "thank you, oscar. thank you so much." and he leaned in to kiss you on the cheeks.

"no thanks needed." he said as he took a hold of your shoulders for a moment then kissed you on the lips once more. he eventually got his jeans off, and soon after you were both naked in bed. the light in the room was bright with the night sky coming in through the large windows of the room.

you felt like the center of oscar's world as he looked at you. he smiled at you before he gave you a sweet kiss.

"one last time, do you wan-"

you took him by the face, his boyish good looks made your stomach twist in knots. you were nervous, but excited. to be so close to him. you said with certainly. "yes. i want it."

he replied, "alright. i'll be gentle, i promise." then pulled away to grab one of the condoms and get between your legs. he could feel the excitement in his chest too. he would've loved to make love to you months earlier, but he wanted to make sure that you were okay with it.

sex is only fun with all partners are willing. and he wanted you more than willing. he got the condom on, he could feel the heat staining his cheeks. he said softly, "i love you."

you held one of the pillows on his bed up against your chest as you held onto it tightly. oscar angled your hips and said, "i love you too." before you felt his cock get into you.

oscar took his time, no rushing it. he shuddered, like ship breaking ice. oscar was the first person you'd ever have sex with. and it made his heart leap. while virginity was stupid, it touched a nerve in a part of his brain. it was a little erotic that he was your first. but as he kissed you, he knew that he loved you. he wasn't a virgin killer, he was your boyfriend.

"everything okay?" he asked as his gaze met yours. his breathing was already growing, it all felt so good. it made everything in his brain light up in the best was possible. he had some sexual experience, but to be this close to you was a feeling he had been searching for. happiness, lust, love, overwhelming joy, the thump in his chest as he softly moved against you.

you nodded and looked up at him. you smiled, you felt painfully in love. he respected you, was kind to you. he looked at you with such joy. you thought about his additions to small collection of cat themed knick-knacks the he picked up for you his travels. the late night phone calls and the homecomings. how he perked up when he saw you, the time he jokingly called you "his soul" in an interview and when you saw the clip of him saying that you almost spat out your coffee. oscar adored you, and that made you willing to sleep with him. because he respected you just as you did. a mutual admiration and love of one another.

"you're stunning, gorgeous. wow." he felt more heat in his face, "i don't think i have enough words to describe you. they should come up with new words."

you giggled and placed your hands over your face for a moment. you smiled widely under your hands as you said, "oh my god."

oscar had his hands on either side of you. his check close to the pillow on your chest. he said as he moved against you, "don't hide yourself. i want to see your face. c'mon."

you took your hands away and held onto the pillow once more, letting him move against you. his cock hitting all the right places. you said, "you always know how to make me feel loved."

he kissed your forehead, "of course. that's the goal." then started to move a little faster. the pleasure moved through both of you. you clenched your legs around your boyfriend's waist as you tried to meet his thrusts.

this felt good. there was no other way to put it. oscar loved it as did you. your pretty nails dug into the pillow as your boyfriend humped against you. it wasn't a heavy pace, just enough to make you both turned on.

"i love you."

"i love you too." you responded as oscar leaned in and kissed you on the lips. your heart fluttered as you moved with him. it felt incredible and oscar was inclined to agree. a perfect fit for one another.

"i love you." he said

"i love you too." you said again.

you soon clenched tightly onto the pillow you were holding onto. you moaned into the fabric of it as he continued to move against you. this was unlike anything you ever really felt. even toys didn't make you feel this good. it was like a current running through you. you felt fuzzy in the head but wide awake as all of it came to a climax. you let out a sweet noise that made your lover hot all over.

he watched you as he continued to move. to see you reach climax only made him want to move faster. to reach his own so close behind yours. he was proud he made you cum, that was a sign of honour in his eyes. that he knew how to make you feel good. and that he'd learn how to make you feel even better as time went on. a lady deserves to finish first. and oscar was happy to do his best to bring you to climax. he pulled out despite wearing a condom. he stroked his slick cock in the condom into his finished. his back hunched for a moment and fire licked his stomach.

you looked at one another and soon oscar's lips were on your once more. his softening cock got hard once more as you two moved in the bed, lips and hands on one another. something clicked between the two of you, you liked being intimate together. you liked having sex, it was fun. and when you pulled away from the kiss and panted out, "again. please."

oscar knew that he was in no position to deny you. <3

[planete777]

I WANT YOU BAD・⁠｡♪ LN4

( lando norris x fem!reader )

IN WHICH. y/n (and a good joint) is lando's best distraction. (based on this ask)

WARNINGS. 18+, MINORS DNI!, drug use (as per), unprotected p in v, riding, lordddd they are filty, dirty talk, squirting, high hotness pt 345345, lando is in love with the reader (as per pt. 2), guys it's just filth filth filth

NOTE. yoohoooo im soo back!!! first fic release after like 3 months haha.... but it's high!lando so, forgive me plz 😔🙏 anyways, i'm slowly getting back into the groove of writing (i only wrote a tad bit during my break smh) and im sorry if im a bit rusty. hopefully, its only up from here. enjoy my dearest readers, and feedback is always welcomed <3

SIDENOTE. my askbox is open! feel free to send in any thoughts, scenarios, requests etc for lando 🤍

there's a gentle, warm thrum that bubbles beneath lando's skin, like a premise of excitement, tendrils of smoke tearing and stitching sentience with sluggish countenance. doesn't see a thing beyond a feet before him, and can't feel anything (yet feels everything) sauf the familiar radiation of body heat from the girl pressed limply into him.

two things for the price of one, it barely gets better than this. he feels like a magic act, cartoonish smears of smoke coalescing, then dimming as he inhales and exhales and inhales again. every taut stress from the day slowly flakes off his muscles, and succeeding another drag of the joint, he lets a gentle sigh huff out of him.

"better now?"

y/n's voice sounds like soft lace in his ears, and she snuggles closer into his shoulder, hand splayed, and weighty, upon his chest. she feels completely dead, always getting too high too fast, but never lets the warnings rid her of the euphoria. lando knows that, and can't blame her either; there's something unequivocally beautiful about getting high and losing the ability to connect one thought to another.

he shifts- he thinks he does so- rolling the spliff between his fingers before curling his lips to push out the smoke that began to scratch striations into his throat.

"yeah," he drawls out, "never go wrong with a good spliff."

y/n just barely giggles, palm rubbing up and down lando's chest. he swears he's on fucking fire, neurones charging and buzzing and crackling at every heightened numbness, and all he can do is take another drag.

there's a blanket of silence, comfortable and observing, before lando feels her, wantonly, drag her hand over his crotch then squeezes; and, jesus fucking christ, the moan that's punched out of him is ungodly.

"y/n- fucking hell," he leaves it at that, slowly swivelling his head towards her. she's smiling, largely and so gorgeously that lando feels like he's levitating. why is she looking at him like that?

"wanna fuck you, lan'," she whispers, redundant because it's already so damningly filthy, "make you lose your shit."

lando is struck speechless and completely horny, blood swelling his cock to where it edges pain, but god, does it feel so fucking good that all he can do is moan and tighten his grip on y/n's thigh sprawled across his body.

she smirks, sitting upright and slides to straddle lando, hips grinding heavily into his and the pressure is glorious.

"you like that, huh?" she bites her lower lip and presses harder, lando's head lolling to the backrest of the armchair. he could cum right into his pants if his motive wasn't to do it deep into y/n's cunt instead.

"you know i do, baby," he takes another drag, doesn't know how he musters the effort to, "you riding me is a sight."

she giggles, "just staring at my tits as i'm doing so, you fucker."

lando shakes his head, "nah, i meant all of you, baby. so beautiful," then he's smiling and pulling her into a kiss that's just tongue and want, lando gripping a hand around her nape. he can die like this, he thinks, encompassed in the feeling of a throbbing dick and a sloppy, wet mouth— all of it.

y/n curls her fingers around the hem of his joggers, lifting her hips- their lips still attached- and sliding them down his thighs. cool air caresses his cock, pulsating, weeping and redder than she's ever seen it before, lando moaning at the relief as it slaps against his abdomen.

"oh lan' look at you," she whispers, wrapping her hand around his cock (the way he squirms at that is indescribable), "you need my pussy that bad?"

it's all faux concern, but it does the trick, lando nodding and on the verge of sobbing when she clenches her fist.

"come on- fuck me, y/n," he's whining and squirming, hands grabbing at her shorts to tug it off after wedging the joint between his lips. she stands up, lando's hands trailing away as she goes to slide them off, crumpling at her feet. and all lando thinks is mylovemylovemylove. his skin burns like he's being dipped in lava, yanking his shirt off and throwing it to the ground.

the girl wastes no time crawling back into his lap, hovering over his erect cock as she takes both hands, spreads her cheeks and sheaths him in.

"y/n- ohh fuckkk-"

the slide— it's so so good, lando's losing his mind, he wants to ask 'no prep?' but fuck, she's taking him so well that he just shuts off. he pants roughly, eyes squeezing shut as she whines and bottoms out, feeling deeper than he has ever been. he's tingling everywhere, a shaking a hand plucking his spliff out of his mouth and unto the couch, feeling y/n's tight, hot pussy grip him with every inch of its life. and just when he thinks it's nearly too much, she starts to move.

y/n grinds and bounces like a fucking pornstar, shirt and bra she had on a few minutes ago strewn somewhere in the room, tits jumping and nipples swollen. oh, it's such a view and as much as lando wants to keep watching, a spark of pleasure causes his eyes to hurl to the back of his head, body flushed deeply and mouth slackened as it leaks a thick moan.

"your cock, lan'- shit, i'm gonna cum so hard," y/n's voice sounds so ruined and lando is obsessed with it, eyes opening as he gives her a small smirk. hands run all over her body- her legs, her breasts- before settling on her ass and languidly dragging it up and down his cock. y/n's reaction is immediate, trembling and crying out a high pitched moan that almost has lando cumming right there.

"i want you to cum so hard, baby. this is your cock," he huffs, hips thrusting upwards and slapping against y/n's ass. the sounds make his mind go static; it's so filthily good, skin hitting skin.

y/n smashes her lips against lando's as she works her hips harder, feeling the cold metal of his chain bind to chest. they can barely kiss, panting into each other's mouth- then lando's cock stabs her g spot, hard, and she's screaming and cumming, liquid running between her thighs and cunt squeezing lando so damn tight, he's pushing her hips into his, yelping, and spurting cum, thick and warm, into y/n.

"fuck fuck fuck- oh god baby, just like that," lando speaks into her skin, "just like that."

he rolls his hips to ride out their highs, pleasure setting deep in his veins before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her towards him, leaning back.

"fuck, i love you," lando whispers, pressing kisses into her shoulder.

"even when i squirt all over you?"

lando smirks, placing a kiss on her lips, "especially when you squirt, baby.

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

title: attention pls

author: sciencebecameouraddiction

fandom: hazbin hotel

rating: M (minors DNI)

genre: fluff and smut

pairing: lucifer x reader

summary: lucifer just wants your undivided attention… and he’ll do whatever he needs to so he can have it.

sitting on the couch, you made a comfy spot in the corner. leaning your body into the side as your face was propped up on your left hand. your legs lazily tucked next to you. there was enough space for a someone to cuddle up right on your thigh, so lucifer took advantage of that when he saw you. he proceeded to lay against your plush hip, cuddling your thigh to himself as you chuckled.

“you can move up, you know?” you tell him as you scroll on your phone, glancing at him.

“i know but your thighs are just so… comfy!” he explains, his hands grabbing bits of your thigh and then letting go. you roll your eyes, but your right hand goes to his head, absentmindedly combing through his golden locks and go back to your phone. though lucifer was upset, not that you knew as he poured against your thigh, as something was taking away his darlings attention. you felt him grin against your thigh, as he hatched (haha get it? hatched like an egg… because ducks… never mind) a plan.

you felt his fingers trail up your thigh that was resting on the couch, from your knee to your inner thigh. your breath hitched as he drew circles close to your heat. your eyes widening as his hand rested gently in between your legs and then his fingers gently traced down your heat as far as he could and then back up and around your hips.

“lu-luce… what?” your voice breathless as his touch takes your breath away.

“pay attention to me.” he states plainly, moving up a bit and skillfully lifting your leg he had chosen to koala hug just a bit, his fingers going through your pant opening, past your underwear and finding your clit quickly. the moan that is forced out of you doesn’t sound for long as he quickly increases pressure, your voice then getting caught in your throat.

“i-faster… please… oh luce…” you’re not even sure what you are saying, what you want to say. all you know is that, “you can’t stop. please don’t stop!” you cry out as he rubs your clit quicker. your hand grips onto the couch arm while your right hand threads back in his hair. you chance a look down, seeing he is watching you and the look in his eyes coupled with the pleasure you feel, your head is thrown back as you try to lift your hips up for more. he moans against your stomach, kissing every square inch he can reach with out moving, when you accidentally pull his hair.

“i-im so close. please lucifer!” you cry out, his pace not changing as you double over and your orgasm washes over you. he helps you ride out your orgasm and then removes his fingers from you, looking up at you with a dopey smile.

“that got your attention.” his eyes half lidded as he settles back on your thigh, burrowing into your skin and holding your thigh to him. you pet his hair as you look mildly bewildered and then you hear a little snore from him and you chuckle. picking up your phone, you go back to social media. Since he was asleep now, he didn’t truly need your undivided attention, now did he?

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for dating Wally West

Wally West x reader

warnings:

a/n: i was debating whether or not y/n is on the team or not n for this im going for y/n being a regular civilian but now im debating making dating hcs for a hero too 🤭

prompt: anonymous: “But if you're still taking requests (and speaking of fast haha), I would absolutely love if you could do a lil' something about Wally West ♡. I love that track star to bits and we're entering my favorite season ever : spooky season (or autumn for people who aren't chronically online like me). So if you'd be tempted to write some fluff/domestic stuff in autumn with Wally, I would be over the moon! 🦊”

wally is so annoying (in the best way!!)

you aren’t too used to the whole idea of dating a metahuman, every day is like an adventure

and for a speedster? you’d be surprised how hard it is for him to find the time

but he makes time

*doorbell rings*

“you’re twenty minutes late” -you

“in flash-time that’s early” -wally, holding a half-eaten box of chocolates “i got a little hungry”

on his “days off,” you could usually find the two of you on the couch with a variety of snacks scattered across the coffee table and crumbs peppering the cushions and floor

“the dog will get them” -wally

“hate to break it to you, but i don’t have a dog” -you

“should i get you a dog?” -wally

he was always so goofy

and affectionate, very affectionate!

he loved to give you cheek and forehead kisses, so many so fast

“how many was that?” -you after noticing repeated pressure on your cheeks

“going on a hundred. i’m trying to beat my record!” -wally

it always ended up tickling and you’d laugh until you fell over

“wally!! wally, come on!!” -you

you’d always get bummed whenever he got called for a mission

especially because it always happened in the middle of something (dinner, a movie, study date, etc.)

then when he came home he’d be a wreck and then you’d be a wreck because you’d see him like that

then he’d have to calm you down and you’d have to help him feel better

“you dont have to do that, im fine! i swear!” -wally while you panic and try to take care of him

being invited to the cave!

meeting the team!

“just because youre meeting a half-kryptonian clone, a martian, an atlantean, some girl with a bow and arrow, and batman’s sidekick doesn’t mean you get to think any of them are cooler than me, kapeesh?” -wally

“oh yes, i know you’re the coolest” -you

the team loves you!!!

“wow, wally, thanks for proving your s/o isn’t imaginary” -artemis

“youre welcome” -wally

“do you want to come bake with me?!” -m’gaan

“please say yes, y/n. i’m so hungry. so so hungry” -wally

“let’s do it!” -you

starting to camp out at the cave while wally is on missions

also once some more dangerous people figured out wally’s identity, you got your own access code to the cave. EMERGENCIES ONLY

you used it to surprise wally once and got a stern talking to from batman. never again

you dont really spend too much time with the team, but you get invited to most of their friendly outings!

and you talk up a storm with the others trying to learn about their lives, which sometimes makes wally a liiiittle jealous

but you want to live vicariously through these interesting people bc ur life is a liiiittle boring

“can you tell me what atlantis is like? what it feels like to be underwater and how your fighting style differs on land?” “what’s your favorite dish to make on mars? do you like communicating this way or the telepathic way more?” “why do you always wear sunglasses, man?” (you know this one dick is like wally’s bestie) -all you

seeing wally less than usual when things start to heat up in his hero life :(

causes some strain and you get so so sad :(

but he always calls you when he can and tries to make up for it

and somewhere down the road when he retires you’re able to spend all your time with him and he makes up for lost time like he promised

ok i’ll stop there. happily ever after.

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @summersimmerus // @azazel-nyx // @simsrecs // @xoxobabydolls // @ravenstrueluv // @cicatraize // @captainshazamerica // @bad4amficideas // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @jade-178 //

[daenysx]

those tiktok videos where couples are ranking types of kisses but it’s you and james 🧚🏻‍♀️✨😭 if you write it, thank you very much for your time ❤️

i hope i got this right, thank you for requesting, angel!! reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, please let me know what you think if you like this guys <33333

james potter x fem!reader, fluff (lots of kissing haha)

it's so easy to get james in the mood for trying a new tiktok ranking trend.

he's been obsessed with them lately, keeps trying different stuff just for fun when he waits for you to join him in bed at night. the funniest part of this for you is that he actually takes them so seriously, he gets visibly disappointed when he puts an option in the wrong place and regrets it later.

"i'm gonna show you something." you say, sitting on bed with your phone in your hand.

"what's that angel?" he asks, pulling you closer. "your hair smells amazing, come closer."

you settle down next to him and open the app on your phone. "we're gonna rank types of kisses."

"oh, that's new? i've never seen it."

"i just saw a couple doing it, thought you'd enjoy." you laugh.

"um-yes, please?" he says, seriously. god, you love him so much.

"okay." you hold the phone in front of you. "so, when a type of kiss appears on the screen, you'll give me that kiss and i'll rank."

james clearly likes the idea, he sits straighter on bed. you look at him before starting, he nods.

'neck kiss' appears on the screen and james gives you a perfect kiss on your neck. you love how he pays attention to your neck all the time so it's a clear favorite.

"this can actually be the first one." you say. "but no, three."

'hand kiss' comes next and james kisses your knuckles. "good?" he asks. "i feel like i'm under pressure."

you laugh. "gonna put it in number six."

next one is 'nose kiss', you cheekily rub your nose on james's. "you don't like this so much." he says.

"um, eight."

"i wonder which one will be ten."

'earlobe kiss' appears. "oh my god." you laugh. james kisses your earlobe and it's too loud. "that's ten."

you regret your decision when 'bite kiss' comes next. "no!" you laugh. "don't bite me."

"sorry, angel." he laughs. he bites your arm softly.

"nine."

you put 'top of the head kiss' on number four. "you could do better than that." you say to james, smiling.

"i definitely could." he agrees. "this is hard."

"okay, 'lip kiss' next, you gotta be quick."

james kisses your lips but he hates how there's not enough time. "gonna put it in two." you say. "but number two and number three are just so close, jamie, i'm not sure."

"that's okay, we're totally doing this every night, you can change that." he whispers against your ear playfully.

"oh, wait." you say. 'forehead kiss' comes next. it's definitely your favorite, james takes an extra second to keep his lips on your skin. "that's number one."

"you're so predictable, sweetheart."

"it's kind of your fault."

you put 'cheek kiss' on number five. it could be number four but you feel a bit distracted by james's lips, you have no strategy left.

"what's number seven, then?" james asks.

'french kiss' comes and you laugh so hard, you drop the phone. "yes!" james says, he laughs with you and change your positions on bed. "we're gonna have to do it, you know."

"yeah? for the game?"

"mm-hmm." he agrees. you lay under him now. "for the game."

the kiss is nice because james stops teasing and kisses you with all his heart. you cup his cheek, pull him closer on top of you. your breathing slows down when your tongues meet, james sucks on your bottom lips deliciously. when you're apart you can't get your thoughts straight.

"that's definitely not number seven." you whisper.

"if only i had this much time to do all the others-" james starts, kisses you again. you spend the next minutes kissing with your eyes closed and bodies entwined. your phone is long forgotten when james takes off your shirt.

[steventhusiast]

STWG prompt 2/6/24

prompt: coming out

pairing/character(s): steddie, Dustin, Lucas, Mike

. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Eddie fucked up. Big time.

See, he's truly embraced his freak status at Hawkins High. Meaning he doesn't exactly shy away from his queerness. He doesn't confirm it, not for people he's not friends with. It's just useful. Being gay is the kind of 'freak' that makes the popular kids steer clear from him, just in case they, you know, catch the queer from him.

But with his fellow freaks? They know he's gay.

In fact, they know he has a boyfriend.

He never shares who said boyfriend is, or the fact that he used to be nicknamed The Hair, because Steve doesn't want anyone to know. He's.. private about his sexuality, to say the least. And Eddie gets it. Hawkins is in the middle of nowhere, it's not exactly gay-friendly like some parts of bigger cities. So his friends don't know who his boyfriend is.

They won't until well after Steve's come out to his own friends, which he hasn't said he's ready for yet. Eddie's letting him go at his own pace, he doesn't even bring it up to him. He doesn't want Steve to feel pressured. Steve doesn't have a Wayne there to support him through everything, after all.

Anyway, despite him being anonymous, Eddie always gives everyone an update on his boyfriend before they start the session of DnD each week. It's kind of a bit for everyone involved at this point.

And in the first session that Eddie's newest fresh sheep attend, he refuses to shy away from it. Either they'll be bigots (unlikely) or they'll be fine with it! It's a risk he's willing to take for his pride.

So he gives the update.

"How's your boyfriend, Ed?" Gareth asks with a teasing grin, and Eddie's closest friends lean toward him with giggles.

"Well, my sweetheart has had a great week. Remember that job I told you he'd applied for?"

"Assistant basketball coach for a kids team?" Jeff checks, and Eddie points at him like he's just scored a point.

"That's the one! He got the job! It's a bit of a drive but it sure as shit beats the minimum wage bullshit he was doing before. I swear, his manager actually hates his guts for no reason."

The existing Hellfire members all cheer at the news, whilst one of the new recruits, Henderson, makes an inquisitive noise and chuckles.

"That's crazy, because my friend Steve called me yesterday with super similar news! Small world, huh?" He says it so casually, looking down straight after to fiddle with his dice.

But Eddie feels like the world stops, his hands freezing in the middle of unfolding his dungeon master screen. Fuck. Henderson is one of Steve's kids.

Maybe no one has actually caught on yet. A sneaky glance to his friends reveals nothing but confused frowns on their faces.

"You guys might have known Steve, actually. Steve Harrington? Used to be a mega asshole through most of high school." Wheeler says in a way that somehow sounds simultaneously fond and like he despises Steve.

"He's great now, though! Like, totally reformed. Such a mom." Sinclair adds on.

Eddie nods passively at their words, and feels Gareth, Jeff and Paul's eyes on him. Right, he's still frozen in shock. He forces himself to relax, and finally finishes setting up the DM screen.

"Haha, what a coincidence." He manages, clearing his throat in the middle to clear up an unfortunate voice crack.

That voice crack gets all three of the kids to tilt their heads at him, and then their eyes light up like they've just won the lottery.

Shit shit shit. Hopefully they haven't put two and two together.

Somehow, he manages to make it through the session without revealing anything else, but as he draws it to a close his heart starts beating faster. He doesn't know how he didn't put it together before that these kids are Steve's kids. Steve is literally going to be late to their date night because he has to pick them up from an afterschool activitiy.

What other club meets up on a Friday but Hellfire?

He shakes his head and starts speeding through packing up his stuff. He's going through in his head ways to apologise to Steve in case the kids have figured it out, heart beating out of his chest as he zips his backpack up and leaves the room. The group of newbies run out after him, though.

"Eddie, wait up!" Henderson shouts after him, and he winces but stops.

"What's up?" He says with what he hopes is a smile but is probably a grimace.

"It's so funny how you're Steve's secret boyfriend." Henderson says with a giggle after he's checked no one else has left the drama room yet.

Wait, what? Eddie frowns at him, mouth open. Before he can question anything Sinclair nods along in agreement.

"We've been guessing for weeks now. You can't tell him we found out through you, I want to win our bet."

"If we figure out who his boyfriend is by the end of the month he's taking us to that tabletop RPG store in Indy." Wheeler adds on.

Eddie gapes at them for another second.

"Wait, Steve- he came out to you? When?" He manages, and the three boys tilt their heads at him.

"Like, since a month ago?" Sinclair guesses after a moment of thought, and Eddie lets out a quiet 'huh'.

"What, do you guys not talk about that shit?" Henderson asks, and Eddie shakes his head slowly, thinking back on if he had been told and had just forgotten.

Then it clicks. Just under a month ago, Steve had started to bring up the topic of coming out, and Eddie had gently insisted he didn't mind if Steve never came out and that he loves him anyway and he doesn't want him to feel pressured. And Steve had smiled fondly and let it go.

Had Steve been trying to tell him he came out to his kids?

He lets his head drop and takes a few deep breaths, trying to slow his heart rate. Thank fuck. He hasn't just accidentally outed his boyfriend.

"He's actually waiting for us in his car. I would say come with, but..."

"We're serious about this bet."

Eddie nods, and waves his hand in their general direction.

"Yeah, of course. Sure. You- you go win that bet. Jesus christ."

He hears them walk away and lets out an incredulous laugh to himself before he hears the drama room door swing open again, the chatter of Jeff, Gareth and Paul cutting off when they see the state he's in.

"You good, man?" Paul asks, and Eddie just lets out a sigh.

"Totally fine. Just thinking about wooing my sweetheart." He says, like they've walked into a joke he's set up.

They all groan, but continue walking toward the school's exit, and Eddie stays there, recovering from that shitshow.

[revelboo]

Do you ever plan to write for EarthSpark Starscream? There's a strange lack of him. No pressure to, of course haha just thought I'd ask.

I like how he was portrayed in the first season before they nuked his character 😭 (and how you write the bots from ES ❤️)

Yeah, I was so hopeful with the first season that we were going to get some character development and growth and then… yeah. Nope.

I just updated the Masterlist and just realized I’m up to 94 links there and I’m only allowed 100, so you may see me making sub-masterlists for each continuity. This one makes 95 🥲

Disaster Hearts

Earthspark Starscream x Reader

• Venting softly, his face tips up toward the night sky outside the cave he’s been using as shelter to avoid tipping off Ghost. Unable to recharge for the nightmares. In his dreams, no matter how fast or how high he flies, that massive hand reaches after him. Those brutal servos always snaring him. And what was it all for? Everything he’s suffered only for Megatron to swap sides and betray them all. To be accepted by the Autobots with open arms even though Cybertron is a burned out husk because of Megatron’s actions. The future he’d believed in, had been promised just thrown away. Where is he now, he wonders? Playing house with those human pets of his?

• Can’t stay here as his anxiety begins to crank and his wings flare slightly before he throws himself off the cliff. Thrusters igniting as he launches himself skyward. He’d convinced his other Seekers to help in his vendetta against Megatron, but then it hadn’t taken much to gain their cooperation. They’d lost as much as he had. Betrayed just like he was. Rolling lazily in the air, he thinks of that human of Megatron’s. The soldier he’d thrown them all away for. That human too closely guarded by the Autobots to get at. And he can’t understand choosing a human over his own. Hates that soldier, because really, this is her fault isn’t it? They’re all much the same, though. Little insects waiting to be crushed under his ped.

• Exhausted, your fingers flex against the steering wheel. Telling yourself that it’s only for a bit longer. Only need to work two jobs for another year or so. That’s not so long. A bit longer to squirrel away enough to escape. Get as far as possible. Maybe try for the East Coast. You’re day dreaming about that as you drive. How the salty breeze off the ocean would taste. Would the sea spray be warm or cold? Salt drying on your skin and your hair and not caring. Finally free.

• Drifting through the cloudy night sky, he spots the headlights below on the empty road. And he normally ignores the humans. They’re beneath him, but right now? Angry and unsettled? Unable to take his frustration out on Megatron or his pet, he wants to lash out at someone. Punish someone for everything that’s been done to him. It’s what makes him drop from the sky and land in front of the little car. Hears the tires scream as the car brakes sharply and he lifts a ped and slams it down on the hood before the human can hit reverse. Watches the back of the car go airborne before slamming back down. Optics narrowing when the door is thrown open and a human throws themself out, running away.

• Decepticon. Heart racing, you run for the trees hoping the massive alien can’t follow you there. Screaming as the trees just explode, shards of wood and branches raining down on you as you fall on your hip. All the fight draining out of you to leave fear. Your head turns as you struggle to breathe, feeling those heavy peds hitting the road as he approaches you. And all you can think is it’s not fair. You’ve worked so hard to escape and it’s not even your tormentor that’s going to be the death of you, but one of the alien monsters.

• Baring his denta, he looms over the small form. One human is as good as another, aren’t they? He can’t get to Megatron’s human, but if he loves them so much, sacrificed his own kind for them, throwing another one’s broken body at his peds should be just as satisfying. Servos flexing, he bends to grab you and you don’t try to run again. Don’t scream or cry. Just stare at him, eyes closing as he curls his servos around you, unresisting. Just giving up as he frowns at your almost nonexistent weight in his palm. Why aren’t you begging for your life? “Just get it over with,” you whisper so softly he almost misses it.

• And the silence stretches out, takes on a weight. Flinching when a servo nudges your head his way. You open your eyes and stare up at that frowning, serious face. Those pretty, blue optics. “It’s not that I care at all,” he says, voice little more than a growl. “But do you want to talk about it?” What? Eyes drifting to that Decepticon badging on his wings, to his too human face, and you can’t even begin to respond.

Next

[maximoffcarter]

New Year’s Eve.

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader.

Summary: Ever since reader joined the team, Emily has felt captivated by her. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh, her personality, literally everything about her. But, friendship was before anything else, so she kept it bottled up. But New Year’s Eve was always eventful, anything could happen.

A/n: This is for @storiesofsvu 's Holiday bingo with the prompt 'New Year’s kiss'. AND IM BACK! Sort of. Like I said a while ago, adult life sucks and I barely have time for myself, so it’s been hard to get to write, plus my laptop is kinda failing so it’s not so easy to write on my phone cause I get easily distracted hehe. But two other christmas shots are coming, Calex fics. I also did not proof read this, I never do until it's too late haha, so my apologies. I'm working on everyone's request still, I miss writing so much, and I've been so busy. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

A/n 2: And happy new year, my pretty friends✨ have a wonderful new year, and let’s make it the best🫶🏻

Rossi had decided since October that he’d be hosting a party for New Year’s Eve, inviting the whole team and their respective families (meaning only JJ would be taking her family cause she was the only one with family along with Hotch having Jack). JJ and Penelope had told Emily that it’d be her chance to her with y/n.

Emily has laid eyes on her since the first moment that she had joined the team. She was mesmerized by her, everything about her was perfect, and she couldn’t get enough of her. But just the thought of ruining things, of losing her just for her feelings, kinda ruined it all…she didn’t want that. They had become so close since the very first moment, they were inseparable, they were everything Emily had always wanted in a friend…and she was way more. But still…she couldn’t lose her.

Finally, at Rossi’s, Emily stood by the doorframe staring at her; her dress was definitely distracting, showing off her curves and legs, part of her back was bare and god, she wanted to just walk to her and-

JJ chuckled softly as she stood beside Emily, raising her brow. “Enjoying the view?” She said in a playful tone.

Emily slowly turned to JJ, her eyes narrowing before turning back to look at her. She tried desperately to not let her eyes linger down her body but she was failing miserably.* “Shut up.” She said in a quiet voice, her eyes still not leaving her.

“Please, everyone here can see you eating her with your eyes.” JJ smirked as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Please tell me that today is the day. And you’ll finally tell her.”

Emily finally turned to look at JJ, her face flushed red with embarrassment as she quickly looked around the room to see if anyone was actually staring at her like JJ said. She quickly shook her head as she looked down. “I-I can’t…what if she doesn’t like me…? What if she laughs or worse, what if she doesn’t even talk to me after this?” She said quietly as her worry grew.

“She won’t ever do that. She wouldn’t be like that with you. Specially you. You’re too important to her.” JJ tilted her head as she sighed. “Em…if you don’t do it, you never will. And not that I’m pressuring you, because I definitely do not want to do that. But…you know…it could happen?”

Emily bit her lip as she glanced back at her, then back to JJ, and kept bouncing her eyes back and forth. “God, I don’t know…I really want to but-“ She shook her head as she looked down again. “What if I ruin things between us? I can’t lose her, JJ…I can’t lose her for my stupid feelings.”

“They’re not stupid. They’re feelings. And they’re valid. And it’s y/n who we’re talking about. She could never hate you or stop talking to you…” JJ said softly as she stared at Emily, tilting her head.

Emily’s eyes shot back up to her and stayed there. She stared at her longingly as a soft sigh escaped her lips. “God I can’t get enough of her…that stupid, beautiful smile.” Her eyes suddenly widened as she realized what she had said out loud but quickly looked back to JJ. “Don’t…tell anyone I said that…”

JJ laughed softly, shrugging as she playfully grinned. “We all know…except for her. She’s a profiler…she should know by now, because you’re not even subtle about it.”

“God, how obvious am I?” Emily buried her head in her hands, shaking her head. “What if she’s just playing dumb and she’s actually realized? And she’s secretly making fun of me about it…or she’s trying to think of a way to let me down gently-“ Emily was now thinking of every scenario that could happen right now making her grow more anxious as her chest became tighter. “God I’m starting to hyperventilate-”

“Hey, hey, hey…” JJ turned to face Emily and placed her hands on her forearms. “Stop overthinking. Just enjoy the party, alright? Don’t think too much about it. Just go to her and act like you always do with her. Be the Emily that you’ve always have been around her.”

Emily’s heart was racing but she slowly nodded and closed her eyes taking a deep breath and started to calm down. “Yeah…yeah, you’re right…I’m just overthinking again like I always do...” She looked back over to her one more time, her eyes lingering a bit too long before she looked back to JJ. “Thank you…I think I’m gonna go get a drink…”

Emily eventually made her way to the bar, grabbing herself a whiskey, straight up with 2 ice cubes. With the glass in hand, she turned around leaning against the table as she took a sip, her eyes wandering around the room as she wondered where y/n was now. In that moment, y/n noticed Emily over at the bar and she smiled softly. She grabbed her drink and walked to her, noticing that she was looking around the room as if she was looking for someone.

Y/n stood behind her and leaned in, whispering in her ear. “Looking for someone?” She smiled softly.

Emily’s eyes widened, her mouth opening in a silent gasp as she felt y/n suddenly behind her. Her body froze as she whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. She swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat as she took a sip of her drink. “No! I- I mean…” She shook her head as she turned around to face y/n. “U-Uh…no one…no one in particular.”

“Mmm, I see.” Y/n grinned as she looked at where Emily had been looking. “Enjoying the party?”

Emily took another sip of her drink to try and cool herself down before nodding. “Y-Yeah…yeah, it’s a nice party. Uh-“ She looked y/n up and down, her eyes lingering on her dress again. “You- uh…look nice.”

Y/n looked back at her and smiled softly, blushing slightly at her words. “Thank you.” She said softly. “It’s the one time that I actually dress up.” She chuckled softly.

Y/n then let her eyes dart down Emily’s body, loving how she looked in a suit. She normally wore those, or cargo pants, but this suit just looked so good on her, and the red blouse she had? And the two top buttons undone? She was killing her.

Y/n looked back up into her eyes and smiled. “You look really nice too. Red is definitely your color.”

Emily blushed deeply as y/n looked her up and down and complimented her suit, almost dropping her drink when she felt her eyes on her chest. “Thank you…” She smiled softly. “I could say the same for you. You look stunning in dresses. You should wear them more often.” She smirked as she joked.

Y/n chuckled softly, nodding her head. “Oh, yeah sure. I’ll be wearing this dress to impress the unsubs. And then I’ll be chasing them down with these heels.” She grinned as she showed off her heels.

Emily smiled as y/n played into her joke, giggling a bit. “Mm, you’d be an unstoppable duo. Sexy and badass at the same time. You’d make any unsub give themselves up instantly.” She said as she looked down to her heels, her smile growing. “I doubt you’d actually be able to run in those heels though.”

Y/n blushed slightly as Emily said she was sexy, biting her lip softly as she chuckled. “Oh, wanna bet, Prentiss?” She smirked and raised bed brow in a teasing way. “I’m great at running, and you know it.”

Emily rolled her eyes as she chuckled. “You might think you’re great at running but I still don’t see you actually running around in those.” She teased back. “And I’m definitely not betting against you cause that would just be…dumb.” She smirked.

Y/n placed her hand on her chest and pretended to be offended. “Right in my heart, Em. Right here.” She pointed to her heart as she looked back at her, smiling playfully.

Emily’s smile grew as she watched y/n place her hand on her chest. “Oh please, you’ll live.” She teased before finishing off her drink. “So what are you doing here? Hiding from the party? Standing here with me for no reason?” She raised her brow in a teasing way with a small smirk.

Y/n rolled her eyes and then shook her head, looking back at everyone. She shrugged as she took a sip of her drink. “I don’t know…I just…I’m not exactly a party girl, you know that. And…I feel comfortable with you, so I rather be here.” She smiled softly.

Emily smiled as y/n said she felt comfortable around her, her chest feeling a bit warm at the realization. She swallowed hard as her eyes darted from hers to her now empty glass. “Mmm, I know you’re not a party person. Which is good, means I don’t have to worry about other people trying to hit on you all night.” She smirked slightly.

Y/n raised her brow curiously as she looked back at Emily. “You don’t want people to hit on me? I’m looking for my midnight kiss, though.” She smirked.

Emily raised her brow in a playful way but the idea of someone else hitting on y/n or trying to kiss her, it made her stomach tie in knots. “Your midnight kiss? Please, you don’t need anyone else to give you a midnight kiss.” She said before thinking to herself ‘I would give you a midnight kiss.’ She shook her head, getting rid of the thought.

“Well I’ve…never done that, and Morgan said he used to just kiss random people, so I said…” Y/n shrugged. “Why not? Doesn’t hurt. And I’ll finally get to experience kissing someone by midnight.”

Emily rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. “Oh course he-“ But as y/n mentioned the whole getting to experience kissing by midnight, she felt her stomach tie in knots again as her jaw clenched. The idea of y/n kissing someone else made her feel sick. “So…who’s the lucky person?” She asked, trying her hardest to sound casual.

Before y/n could say anything, Penelope decided to interrupt them. “Y/n! Y/n!” Penelope ran to them. “Need you on team with me! Come come!” She grabbed her hand before she could even say anything else and dragged y/n with her. Leaving Emily with a knot in her throat.

Emily swallowed hard as she looked around, needing a drink desperately. The thought of seeing y/n with someone else, it made her stomach spin and twist in an uncomfortable way. She quickly made her way to grab herself another whiskey, needing the alcohol to calm herself down. But as she was about to get herself a drink, she noticed Morgan walking to her.

“Ugh, go away.” Emily grabbed the bottle of whiskey and filled her glass again.

Morgan chuckled as he leaned over the bar. “What did I do?” He smirked.

Emily rolled her eyes. “A stupidity, as always.” She looked at Morgan. “Why would you tell y/n to kiss a random stranger to get a midnight kiss?”

Morgan scoffed. “Prentiss, if I said that, was for you to take your chance to finally get your girl.”

Emily furrowed her brows. “What?

“I knew she’d want to be with you, because she’s always by your side, and you by her side. You two are inseparable, and I knew she’d want to be with you in the countdown. So…” Morgan smirked. “It wouldn’t be a complete stranger. She’d have you by her side.”

Emily’s heart raced at the thought, just staring at Morgan. “You- I…” She huffed. “I don’t think she’d do that.”

“Oh, she would. Trust me on this.” Morgan smirked.

Emily looked back at y/n for a moment, watching her play with Penelope. “Well…”

“Just try it out, Prentiss. And you’ll see...” Morgan poked her nose. “…that I’m right.” He winked.

Emily rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“You’ll love me after midnight.” Morgan chuckled.

********************

Emily was now on her 3rd whiskey, leaning over against the wall as she watched everyone around her getting ready for the countdown. Her eyes darted around the room, trying to catch a glimpse of y/n before the countdown. But it seemed as if she was nowhere to be found, and she was slowly starting to panic.

“Please tell me you’re not hiding here. The countdown will start soon, and everyone is already outside.” Rossi stood beside Emily as he spoke to get her attention.

Emily’s head snapped to look up at Rossi as he suddenly appeared beside her. She swallowed hard, her hand gripping the now half-empty whiskey glass. “U-Um..I’ll be out there in a minute…I just need a minute to….think.” She tried to lie, her eyes darting across the room again, still searching for y/n.

“Y/n is by the swing. She finished playing with Penelope, and then seemed like she had a conversation with her and then went to sit down. So she’s outside.” Rossi smiled, knowing that Emily was looking for her.

Emily felt her heart race, her eyes widening as Rossi revealed where y/n was. She quickly got up from the wall, downing the rest of her whiskey in one go before putting the empty glass on a nearby table. As she took a few steps towards the doorway outside, she suddenly stopped and turned back to Rossi. “W-Wait..why are you telling me this?”

“Because you should go get her. We will soon be welcoming the new year and…you both could start the year with a kiss.” Rossi winked at her and then walked outside.

Emily blushed as Rossi winked at her, feeling like the whole team knew about her feelings for y/n but she tried not to focus on that right now. Taking a deep breath, she quickly walked outside, searching the crowd for you until her eyes finally landed on her. Emily slowly made her way to where she was sitting, taking a moment to admire how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. Her heartbeat was fast now, feeling her nerves build as she finally reached her, clearing her throat softly to get her attention.

Y/n looked up at Emily and slowly stood up, smiling softly. “Em. Was hoping I’d find you before the countdown.” She said softly.

Emily smiled softly, her heart rate speeding up even more as y/n looked at her. “Y-Yeah I was just…” She trailed off, her eyes wandering down her body before quickly bringing them back up to meet hers. “I-I was just grabbing a drink and all…” Completely forgetting she, indeed, did not have a drink on her hand.

Y/n blushed slightly as she noticed the way Emily stared down at her body. She chuckled nervously and nodded softly. “Good.” She said softly as she stared directly into her eyes. She smiled softly. “I was hoping I’d be in the countdown with you.”

Emily felt her own cheeks heat up as y/n blushed from her staring and tried telling herself that it was just a coincidence cause of the lighting out here. She swallowed hard as she said she wanted to be in the countdown with her, a smile forming on her face. “You-“ Emily cut herself off, blushing deeper. She knew if she finished that sentence, she most likely would spill everything to her. “Why?”

Y/n cleared my throat, unsure of what to say. What was she supposed to say? That she was hoping she’d receive the new year with her? That she was hoping for something? “Well…I wanted…to countdown with you.” She chuckled nervously.

Emily’s heart was racing, her mind running wild at her answer. She wanted to countdown with her. But, what did that mean? Did that mean she wanted to kiss her when it struck midnight? Or was that just her being delusional again? Her eyes darted to her lips as she licked her own. “Why me?” She asked with a small chuckle.

“Because it’s you, Em. Why wouldn’t I? I told you…I feel more comfortable around you.” Y/n said softly as she smiled.

Suddenly, Rossi announced that the countdown was about to start and to get their drinks ready. And then, the countdown started. “10…9…8…”

Emily blushed deeply at y/n’s words, her stomach now feeling like it was on fire, the way it burned whenever she was around her. She couldn’t stop her eyes from darting back to her lips again as the countdown started. She didn’t know what to do…. She kept second guessing herself. Should she lean in, would you lean in? Was she waiting for her to make the first move? Emily swallowed hard, trying to calm herself down as her heart was now practically pounding against her chest.

Emily was just about at her limit. The countdown was getting closer and closer to midnight and she was here, looking more beautiful than ever as the moonlight was shining on her. Emily swallowed hard, her eyes darting between her eyes and her lips as she finally worked up the courage to finally speak. “You look so beautiful…god you look so gorgeous right now…” She said in almost a whisper, taking a step closer to her.

Y/n’s breath hitched as her eyes slightly widened, not expecting her words, or…anything at all.* “I…” She chuckled nervously. “T-Thank you…”

“7…6…5…”

Emily’s heart skipped a beat as she slowly reached her hand up to gently cup y/n’s cheek as her eyes darted down to her lips again, taking another step forward to close the gap between them. She spoke in a low voice, her heart aching with need. “I hope you don’t hate me after this…” She whispered softly.

Y/n shivered at her touch, her lips parting as she stared into her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes. But then she furrowed her brows at her words. “Hate you?”

“4…3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Emily’s heart was racing so fast now as the last few seconds of the countdown went by. At the sound of ‘Happy New Year’ and the sound of all the team and people cheering, Emily moved quickly, cupping y/n’s face with both hands as she suddenly pressed her lips against her own. The second their lips met, fireworks went off in Emily’s mind. Their lips were as soft as they had imagined they’d be. Emily felt like she was flying, like she was in some sort of dream, as she tried to savor the feeling, savor her lips against hers. Her hands moved down from her cheeks, wrapping around her waist as she pulled her closer to her until y/n was pressed up against her body, her heart thumping in her ears. Y/n wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck, pulling her impossibly closer, kissing her back after smiling against her lips. This was finally happening, and her heart was about to burst out of her chest. Her whole body filling with butterflies.

When air became a necessity, they pulled away, y/n’s forehead rested against hers and smiled. “That…was better than I expected.” She chuckled softly.

Emily felt like at any second, her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She felt lightheaded, trying to catch her breath. She was still holding her tightly, making sure this was real, wanting to savor the feeling of y/n in her arms. She chuckled softly, her smile brighter than it had ever been as she spoke, her words coming out in almost a whisper. “I didn’t think you’d kiss back…”

“Of course I’d kiss back. I…I was actually going to kiss you, but then you started talking about me being beautiful and gorgeous and…you distracted me.” Y/n chuckled softly as she moved her hands to Emily’s cheeks, stroking them softly.

Emily blushed deeply, leaning into her touch and closing her eyes. She felt butterflies in her stomach again as she moved her hands down to her hips, holding her close. She opened her eyes again, smiling. “I was so scared…” She admitted, chuckling softly. “I thought you wouldn’t kiss back…that I’d ruin our friendship…”

Y/n shook her head, furrowing her brows as she stroked her cheeks. “No. Why would you ruin it? I…I was hoping you’d stick with me and we would do the countdown and I’d kiss you. And finally tell her how I really feel.” She smiled softly as she brushed her nose against Emily’s. “I’m…so in love with you, and today seemed to be the perfect opportunity.

Emily chuckled, remembering how nervous and anxious she had been the whole night, and this had been the end of it, and she was not complaining. “I’m so in love with you. God, you have no idea.” She then captured her lips again, in a soft, gentle kiss which y/n happily reciprocated.

Morgan chuckled softly and fist bumped JJ and Penelope. “Told you this would work.”

“Finally…” JJ sighed softly.

Penelope cleared her throat. “You…guys realize that now they’ll be disgustingly adorable and lame, right?”

“Worth it.” JJ said as she smiled.

[moonstruckme]

mae is have like a really silly request but anyway, maybe some doctor!remus smutty drabble

I don't think that's silly at all babe haha, I think there's tons of potential with this au and smut so....if you like it, when requests open again I'm always down for more. Thank you for requesting! :)

cw: smut mdni

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 449 words

“Do you really have to wear gloves for this?” 

“Yes, I do.” 

You huff, having a hard time looking at your boyfriend when your face feels this hot. “I don’t really see how this is necessary,” you mutter. “You practically examined them the other night.” 

Remus gives you a knowing look, tinged with smugness. His gloved fingers continue to feel about your breasts. “That was different, dove.” 

And yet, he sweeps a fond touch over the curve of your left tit. Pushing his luck. You really can’t look at him. 

“It doesn’t seem like it’s so different for you, though, does it?” he muses, one corner of his lips curling up. 

“That’s…it’s just cold in here.” 

“Sure it is, sweetheart.” 

It really is. The air conditioning in the exam room is cool your bare skin, the thin gown you’d been given dropped to your waist. Still, there’s a warmth pooling in your belly despite the chill. It gets worse when Remus increases his pressure, his touch becoming firmer as he presses into the fleshy underside of your tit. 

His eyes are on your chest, clinical, scanning for lumps or abnormalities as he squeezes your breast in his hand. He pushes down even harder, and a tiny sound escapes you, half-suppressed and somewhere between pain and pleasure. 

“Oh, sorry darling,” Remus coos. His hand slips to your side as he bends close to you, touching his lips to the spot. If they part for a moment, it’s too brief to verify. 

“Fuck you,” you laugh, rubbing at your tit. “You know exactly what you’re doing.” 

The grin he gives you reminds you that your boyfriend isn’t always the buttoned-up, professional doctor. Roguish. 

“Afraid not,” he says, eyes crackling with amusement. “What am I doing?” 

Then, you see his eyes dip to where you’re massaging your breast, and the amusement fizzles out. Satisfaction washes over you like a warm tide. You push the flesh up, thumb gliding over your hard nipple. His eyes darken. 

“Maybe I was wrong,” you say in your smoothest voice. It’s nowhere near as sultry as your boyfriend can make his, but it does the job. “I’m sorry, honey, I interrupted you. Do you wanna finish my exam now?” 

Remus’ gaze rises to meet yours, and now there’s no disguising the want in it. You take your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down on a smile. His own lips quirk in response. 

“Mm, don’t think so.” His touch leaves as he steps back, locking the door to the exam room. “Why don’t you take your panties off and lay back, dove. I think we have a bit more left to cover before we’re done here today.” 

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.