#so i briefly mentioned this but yesterday my sibling got into a big fight with my parents

[snowychicken]

Shit is getting too real for my liking

[a-simp-20]

◆Babysitter's◆

[AIB Cast Masterlist]

Characters: Nijiro Murakami,Dori Sakurada,Kento Yamazaki,Jun Murakami,Ua (briefly,she will only be mentioned in the back story)

Summary: Dori and Kento were told by Jun Murakami to take car of his son,Nijiro Murakami

Warning!: mentions of divorce and fighting

Genre: Angst,Comfort,Fluff

Word count: 3.5K

Tag's: @maliceinborderland hope you like it!!

Information: italics + bold means flahsback

Disclaimer: this is just a fan fic so don't take it too seriously

This is the second Fic for the AIB cast,so feel free to Request or comment on who should I write a Fic about next please :D.

It is a normal day in Tokyo. Sun shining through Nijiro's window,right now he's staying at his Dad's house just to help take care of his dad even though his dad could take care of himself. It has been years since he saw his mom and he barely interacts with his other siblings that were not from his family side and basically was from his step dad's side. He had 4 other siblings that were younger then him,but he could only see them if his mom would come visit him with her other husband which Nijiro hated. He never hated his new siblings that much though,they knew that he was struggling and that it was their mother's fault that he became so unsociable when he was just a teenager. Ever since that day when his parents divorced it broke him,he had chosen to go with his dad because his dad,Jun Murakami did nothing to his mother Ua,he didn't hurt her,he didn't do anything to start the fight. Every thing was perfect until that day had come into his life.

Nijiro only sat there on the stairs,the palm of his hand's covering his ears tightly,tear's fell down from his face as he cried silently listening to his parents fight down stairs was all he could do. Nijiro had woken up from his sleep when he heard the door of the house opening and closing,his Dad told Nijiro that his mother was still at work and will be home late today,Nijiro understood and just went up stairs to go to bed. And when he woke up from his sleep cheerfully and excited to see his mother,he only heard shout of anger and sadness. Which brought into the present where he just sits there shakily,fear,sadness and anger building up in his 8 year old mind of his "What about our son!?,what if his future will be a whole damn dampness all because of you" Jun shouted,his hand in his hair as he Paced around the room angrily "Why are YOU bringing YOUR son into this s**t!?,Besides he doesn't mean anything to me!" Ua responded back,Nijiro heard that clearly and his heart started to shattee in him "m-mommy doesn't like me...anymore.." He said quietly wiping his tears away for a bit as he continues to cry silently on the stairs. He didn't know what to do,he wanted to stop the shout and swearing words that came out of their mouths..but he couldn't do that. Besides,he was just a mere child,no one will listen to him in this situation even his own parents.

He decided to get up and went back into his room to sleep. He got in his room,closing the door quietly as he climbs into his bed,covering his body with the thick sheets of it as he slowly fall's asleep.

How many weeks later, Nijiro came back from school. His dad said that he couldn't pick him up from school today and said to just meet him at their house. He opens the door to see his mom and dad sitting on the couch separately from each other "Watashi wa ie ni imasu otōsan, okāsan (I'm home dad, mom)" He said stuttering as he took of his shoes "Nijiro..we have something to say to you" His dad said with a low voice,Nijiro nods as he sit's on the couch beside his dad "Who do you want to go with?" His mom suddenly said "U-Ua..he needs some talking,he doesn't know the situation y-" "I-i know.." Nijiro suddenly spoke,tears almost falling down his face "Ah!- so,you heard..?" His dad said,looking down at him with worry in his eyes.

Nijiro nods slowly as he looked down to his tiny feet "Well...since you already know,we're so sorry that you heard-" "Yes..i know" Nijiro cuts him off again "Then that means I guess it's time for daddy and mommy to....hm,Separate.." Nijiro's head goes up to look at his dad in the eyes "It's about time you told him. Now,who do you want to go with" Ua said,crossing her arms while looking at the two "I- I DON'T KNOW!, W-W-WHY SEPARATE!?" He shouted as tears fall down his face "N-nijiro son..i know it's hard but you have to choose-" "WHY CHOOSE!?,I-I DON'T WANT US TO BE LIKE THIS!" he shouted again,Ua getting annoyed at his behavior "Just pick!,it's not that hard" "Ua!,he's a child we need to take it easy on him" Jun said to her as he hugged Nijiro into his chest "Nijiro,I'm going to say it again...who do you choose between me and mommy,I know it's hard..b-but you have to do it" Jun said,holding him tightly in his arms "T-then...i'm choosing you,daddy"

[6 YEARS LATER]

(Year/date: ??/??/2012)

(Location: ??? Studio)

It has been 6 years ever since he chose his dad's side, they both moved into somewhere else in Tokyo where schools were even closer to their house. Nijiro right now is currently 14 in age and in middle school,he styled his hair so that his bangs would go to the front of his head,kind of a weird style..but his dad recommended the hair style so he didn't mind. He loved his dad so much,his dad raised him ever since that day. Jun is now a single father to one son that he has,he loves Nijiro and he just want's to make him happy. For the past few years Nijiro has been down lately,Jun felt bad that he would stay at work the most because he's an actor and of course the media knows the situation between him and his Ex-wife Ua.He founds out that Ua got married again in 2008 with a guy named Bishū Hasegawa, a non celebrity dude.

He didn't cared though,he only cares for his son and his son only. He still kept their old pictures together as a family on his phone though, he didn't want to loose the precious memories that Nijiro had as a child. Back to Nijiro, he is currently inside a room that had bean bags and other stuff, he didn't know why he was here and how does his dad know this place. Currently he is waiting for his dad to come in the room after talking to  a friend that he met the other day he says, good thing it was school break so that Nijiro didn't have to worry about school,he only worries about the stack of homework he has in his room. He sighs as he sits on one of the bean bags in the room,waiting for his dad to finish the conversation between him and his friend.

After a few minutes of waiting,the door's of the room slams wide open to reveal his dad and another guy that was taller then his dad. He had shaggy long straight like hair that was black,and the under side of his hair a yellowish gold. He wore a black jacket with his sleeves pulled up so it stops at his elbow,the zipper of his jacket goes down a bit to just show his collar bone, he had a galaxy like bracelet and some grey and white leggings,and the last part he had bright blue shoes that were a bit big. The man stood behind Jun as as Nijiro stand up "Nijiro you might be wondering who this young ng man is" Jun said smiling softly,Nijiro just tilted his head to the side,confused "You may introduce yourself" Jun said as he moves aside for the man to stand at full few for Nijiro to see "Hello there,my name is Sakurada Dori. But you can call me Dori or onii Chan (big brother) if you like" Dori said,as he biwed a bit at Nijiro "I'm 21 years old,I'm a big fan your dad as you can see. We met yesterday at a park,he mentioned that you were lonely..so I decided to become your babysitter-" "Wait,you want this oldhag..to take care of me?" Nijiro said,looking at his dad in disbelief "Yes!, of course i am,plus he's 21 he is not that old. I just can't bare to see you,my son so lonely and down. So I thought that Dori here could keep you company for today until I'm done with my work. I'll pick you up after that" Jun said smiling at Nijiro softly "Fine,but if this dude is boring I'm done" "Boring?,who says I'm boring. I literally am a master of Uno when it comes to playing it with my friends" Dori said crossing his arms while looking down at the 14 year old in front of him "heh,try me" Nijiro said,crossing his arms too while looking up at him "I see you boys will get along greatly!,well I got to go to work now,please take care of him okay Dori?" "Yes Mr.Murakami,I will do my best!" Dori said bowing at him "No need to bow!,and call me Jun. Nijiro you behave okay?" Jun said as walked out of the room "Okay dad!" Nijiro shouted through the halls.

And that's the day where Nijiro felt happy again,Dori taught him many things in life. He really likes Dori and ends up calling him his own big brother that day. Dori taught him how to have fun,he even introduced him to Fanta,his dachshund.

That one faithful day,he will never forget..

.

.

.

.

"Nijiro?,Nijiro!" Nijiro opened his eyes carefully observing where he was,as he looked at his dad that was on the drivers seat,he realized that he wasn't in his old room anymore. He thought that his dad must've carried him from inside the house all the way inside the car,now he felt bad "Don't worry about me carrying you,besides you're shorter than me,and way more lighter to carry" His dad said smiling at him, "You know you should've woken me up at the house dad" He grumbled tiredly as he rubbed his right eye, looking from the passenger's seat window to be met front faced with his house. He realized that the skies were already a softer darker shade of blue,meaning that it was going to be night time "Well,I can't bare to wake up my son. He'll get grumpy!" His dad said chickling while boiling his nose "Daaad~!, stop!" Nijiro said as he pouted At him,Jun just laughed at his expression remembering the old days whenever he woke him up for him to go to school he would pout and whine..no Nijiro isn't a brat,he's just not a morning person that's all.

Nijiro got out of the car,saying  goodbye and thank you to his dad as his dad drove off into the night.

He sighed as he got in his house,turning on the Air conditioner in his living room as he got into the bathroom to take a warm shower, he stripped off his clothes and turns on the shower,he got inside as the warm water hits his skin. After how many minutes in the shower,he got out and wrapped the white towel around his waist, getting out of the bathroom into his room as he got dressed in his night wear. Tomorrow he's going to shoot as Chishiya again,and he knew he had to go to the studio early in the morning,so he got down stairs to have dinner. After dinner he washed his plate and turned off the air conditioner in the living room, going up stairs to go to sleep.

[THE NEXT DAY]

(Year/date: ??/12/2020)

(Location: ??? Studio)

"Okay we're here!" His dad said smiling at Nijiro "Dad,explain again on why do you want to go to work with me??" Nijiro looked at his dad with a confused look "You'll see" His dad said,grinning widely at him as he got out of the car,Nijiro did the same as they both walked to the entrance of the studio. They both got in the main studio to be met with lightening's,cameras and other stuff for the filming. Nijiro went inside one of the dressing rooms to get dressed in his Chishiya costume,his dad following him "Ah! There is our Cheshire!,and oh? I see that you brought the famous one and only Jun with you!" The director said,Shinsuke Sato who looked behind Nijiro to greet his dad with a wide smile "Yes! And you must be the most talented director Shinsuke huh?" His dad said,laughing together with Shinsuke "Dad,don't embarrass me" Nijiro mummbled quietly "Non need to be Nijiro! Me and Shinsuke here are good friends!" His dad exclaims as Nijiro was requested to sit on a black chair so that they could apply his make up and Chishiya wig on.

Meanwhile in the brake room, there were two boy's playing Uno before the filming starts. Both of them already in their characters clothes,and they were both ready for the set. Dori in his Niragi costume holding 2 Uno cards on his hand smirking at the other boy Kento that is in his Arisu costume that has 4 cards in his hands,sending Dori a glare that say's 'you better not have two lucky cards in your hand's or you're dead', Dori just laughed at his glare as Kento put's down a red stop sign card "Hah!,I stopped you! It's my turn again!" Kento said as he put's down the black colour changing card "You may Kento" Dori said smirking at him, kento frowns and thinks on what colour should he pick. He thought on what Arisu would do in this situation "Ah!,I choose the colour....Yellow!" Kento said happily...not longer after that Dori put's down both of his cards,showing two yellow card on the table "Uno game!" He shouted happily "Aww c'mon!, I had plenty of yellow cards! See!?" Kento said showing his cards to Dori.

Dori just chuckled "Well I guess it's my lucky day..Ryohei Arisu" He said smirking,looking at Kento "I'll beat you someday...Suguru Niragi" Kento said,looking at Dori with a serious look until both of them burst out laughing. The two were best friends ever since 2013,they didn't know that their friendship would last for 7 years by now. They stopped laughing when the door of the break room opens revealing a Nijiro that is now in his Chishiya costume and Jun right behind him "Ah,Dori. It has been a long time I haven't seen you" Jun said,smiling at him, Dori walking towards him and giving the much older man a friendly hug "Yes! It's been like..i don't know..8 years?? Since we haven't seen each other?" Dori said smiling "hmm...guess so!" Both of them laughed,Kento walking towards them and bowing at Jun "It is a pleasure to meet you Mr.Murakami" Kento said "Ah,and you must be Kento Yamazaki hm? I've heard you from Dori" Jun replies "Oh,I didn't know he told you about me,but still what brings you here?" Kento asked him "Yeah dad,why are you at work with me?" Nijiro asked,looking at his dad.

"Well..i want you two,Kento and Dori..to take care of my son here" Jun said,looking at both men that is in front of him and his son "I see that I have to be your babysitter again huh Jiji?~" Dori said booping Nijiro's nose"No touching!" Nijiro hissed and rubbed his nose "Aww c'mon you're such a cute wittle baby Jiji~" Kento said,squeezing his left cheek "I said no touching!" Nijiro said as he crossed his arms against his chest "I see the three of you are getting along quite nicely,well got to go now,Nijiro behave" Jun said,walking out the door. Leaving the three boys alone in the room. "So..where should we start?" Kento asked "Maybe the both of you should start by leaving me be. I'm fine okay? I'm almost 24 so f#*k off!" Nijiro hissed as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and sat on one of the chairs of the brake room while playing PUBG on his phone "Jeez...how did you take care of him when he was 14?" Kento asked Dori "Well easy,grab his game boy- well phone now and just let his steam off" Dori said,grabbing Nijiro's phone.

Nijiro looked up at him in disbelief with wide eyes, shocked that he took his phone "WHY THE F##K DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?" Nijiro shouted,Kento stumbled back, startled at Nijiro's sudden tone "You'll get brain damage if you keep staring at your phone non stop,let it rest for at least 1 hour. Now we need to shoot a series" Dori said with a glare and a serious tone,Nijiro shivered remembering ok what Dori did to him when he disobeyed his orders. That day,Nijiro didn't listen to what Dori told him resulting a hard pinch from Dori until right arm got a purple bruise on it "Okay fine!" Nijiro said,stuttering a bit. His dad didn't even mind that Dori pinched him,Cause Jun knows what's right for his son and what's not.

After that, they all started shooting.

After it ended Nijiro sat on one of the chairs and stared into space for awhile until he heard someone calling his name "Oi! Nijiro!,here's your phone. Sorry that I took it from you" Dori said smiling,ruffling Nijiro's Chishiya wig. Kenti doing the same as he smiled widely "You're lucky that you have a babysitter like me and him you know that Jiji?" Kento said grinning widely at him "Hm,thanks" Nijiro said,smiling a bit.

[HOW MANY MINUTES LATER]

"I'll buy you ice cream if you behave Jiji!" Kento said,Nijiro Stole Kento's Takoyaki and now Kento is angry "But these are so good" Nijiro said, chuckling while taking another bite of the Takoyaki "Nijiro..give them back" Dori said "okay okay! I was just playing around with you" He said,while apologizing to Kento. After that they both go back home to Nijiro's house.

"So wanna watch some Disney movies Jiji?" Kento asked"Y-yes.."Nijiro said shyly. Ever since when he was little,he had been a fan of Disney movies "Let's watch Frozen II then!" Doris said,grabbing some popcorn and sitting right next to Kento and Nijiro.

And that night,Nijiro would never forget on how he was getting babied by the both of them until his dad came to his house.

[Sorry for the bad ending- I have too many wips right now and I am tired cause I finished this at night,so I hope all of you enjoyed this ☺]

[brightest-ideas]

(Continuation of this fanfic, again pretend it was posted yesterday lmao. Trigger warning for abuse and misgendering)

Jack had been waiting on the porch for roughly two hours now. During the first hour, his eyes had been firmly focused on the road, straining to see against the dark night if the next passing car was his father's, hoping that the next one would slow down and turn into their driveway. That enthusiasm slowly died down as time passed. Now, the middle Bright brother had been leaning against the railing for some time, looking down on the ground below him with his head resting on his hand, the light from his house only dimly illuminating the outside, he could barely spot the dark asphalt road just up ahead. Still, every time he heard the distant roar of the engine and the tires against the road, his head would perk up and he would look over, only to get disappointed once more as the car sped right past him.

He never got why Mikell liked dark, cold evenings so much. The crickets chirping were more irritating than anything, and you could only stare at the same starry sky so much before it became repetitive and boring, not to mention the annoying bugs trying to bite him. Jack much rather preferred staying inside, where it was warm and pleasant, with the yellow light illuminating everything perfectly, no scary dark corners or shadows to be found anywhere. He only ever liked staying on the porch if it were with his brothers.

The boy had long since lost sense of time and was about to head back home, when he heard yet another car, this time slowing down and pulling over into their dirt driveway. Jack's face lit up with the biggest grin and he practically jumped off the porch stairs as he saw his older brother come out of the car.

"Mikell!" He raced over, practically crashing into his brother and almost sending them both flying to the ground, thankfully for them both the older boy managed to catch himself on his crutches before he lost his balance.

Mikell wheezed as his brother made an impact with his chest and hugged him tightly, thankfully not too hard as to not hurt him...much. He visibly winced, but his expression softened as he looked down at the teen who had by now buried his face tightly against his older brother's chest.

"Ow, hey, asshole-" He patted Jack's shoulder. "Mind my ribs."

"Oh-" Jack pulled away slightly, his face flushing in embarrassment as he realised his mistake. "Sorry."

"Jennifer," Before Mikell could reply, their father's harsh tone had gotten both of their attention, Adam walking around the car towards them. "I thought I told you to be in bed before we came back."

"But, I- I wanted to see Mikell." Jack stammered out.

"And for fuck's sake, take that ridiculous hat off your head."

Before Adam could grab the cowboy hat, Mikell had already placed his hand on top of it, holding it firmly on his sibling's head as he met their father's gaze.

"I think it looks good on her."

Adam scoffed and turned back to his car, locking it. "Whatever. Just take the brat to her bed."

"Sure thing, your majesty." The eldest mocked before quickly hopping away on his crutches before their father could make a scene, Jack very quickly following him, leaving their parents to talk near the car alone.

As they neared the stairs, the younger boy started to pull the hat off of his head, only to have it firmly put back into place by his brother.

"You can keep it." Mikell pulled his hand away, grinning. "It suits you."

"It's a bit big for me, don't you think?"

"You'll grow into it." He carefully started to hop up the stairs.

"Or you just have a huge bubblehead."

Mikell laughed out as he stopped at the very top of the stairs, watching his brother climb up after him. "If you think some broken bones are going to keep me from drop-kicking a child down the stairs, you're wrong."

"I think you'd just fall over because of that massive head of yours if you tried."

"Why you-!"

Before he could grab him, Jack had already dived for the door, getting away from his brother as fast as possible.

"I think you'd be surprised how fast I can go on these crutches if you keep testing me, pipsqueak."

"Not fast enough, old man!" Jack stuck his tongue out at him and quickly disappeared into their house.

"Old?!" Mikell huffed, limping after him, squinting a bit as the warm yellow light hit his eyes. "I'm only twenty-two." He turned briefly to close the door behind him. He leaned against the wall, balancing mostly on his crutches as he managed to kick his shoe off.. "If you keep calling me old, you're setting yourself up for one hell of a life crisis in a few years."

He stood back up and hopped ahead towards his brother, but before Jack could even come up with a comeback, they were quickly cut off by a loud pair of footsteps coming towards them from the living room.

"Mikey!"

Mikell yelped as he had almost lost balance once more as he felt his youngest sibling crash into him, thankfully on the side of his healthy leg, and grip tightly onto his waist. He could only briefly look down at the small girl who had buried her face in his stomach before he remembered something, quickly bringing one of his crutches up, stopping TJ in his tracks as the boy almost rammed into the tip of it. A sense of dread creeped onto the eldest's expression.

"Don't."

TJ's face fell, though he stepped away, he knew more than enough what would happen if he made accidental skin contact with the man. "Sorry…"

Mikell put his crutch down with a soft tap as it hit the wooden floor, looking at his brother for a moment. He missed TJ a lot and he was sure the boy missed him too. He laid one hand on Claire's back, still looking at TJ, before he let out a long sigh. "Alright…but be very careful."

The youngest of the brothers lit up instantly, practically jumping over in excitement. Careful as to not touch Mikell's skin, the youngest boy wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his face against his chest, with a bright smile on his face.

Mikell tried to relax into the hug, leaning back on his crutches and lifting his chin up, trying to make sure that TJ would not touch him. He let out a loud exhale, letting the tension leave his body as he closed his eyes, smiling just slightly. It felt so good to be back home, with his family. He missed the warm light and chatter, he missed their hugs and talking to them, he missed singing Claire to sleep, telling TJ stories and bickering with Jack. He missed it all, even the little annoyances.

"I missed you all too." His tone was soft and soothing, he gently ruffled Claire's hair and even hesitantly rubbed TJ's back as the two pulled away eventually. He slowly readjusted himself, pulling his crutches closer to his body so he could properly stand on them again. He then looked at the teen leaning against the wall and grinned. "Except for you, Jack, you're a nuisance."

"Hey!"

Mikell chuckled and gestured for his youngest siblings with one of his crutches, waving it towards upstairs. "Now come on, it's late and you two should have been in bed a long time ago."

TJ looked at his sister, walking ahead of her with a slight bounce to his step. "Hey Claire, wanna race me to your bedroom?"

"Yeah, yeah!" She giggled happily and ran ahead as fast as her little legs could carry her, her brother quickly gaining on her but sliding on the wooden floor just near the stairs, grabbing the railing to not fall on his face.

"Try not to hurt yourself, alright?" Mikell called out after them, a slight worry in his tone, but it's not like they were going to listen to him anyway. He limped along past Jack and the living room, heading towards the stairs as well.

Jack watched as his two younger siblings climbed up the stairs like a pair of rabid animals then glanced at his older brother with that usual bastard grin of his. "You need help going up the stairs, grandpa?"

Without a word, Mikell brought his crutch to his brother's shin, making him yelp loudly. He fell to his knees, gripping where his brother has hit him.

"Fuck!" He hissed, looking up at his brother who just snickered at his misery.

"That's what you get, I warned you already." There was a hint of amusement in Mikell's tone as he circled around the teen and continued on his way.

"You think you're gonna win this fight, mister cracked-ribs?" The boy quickly jumped up to his feet and raced ahead of Mikell, spinning around to face his brother. He immediately paused when he saw his expression visibly fall, amusement being quickly replaced with worry.

"Jack, your eye…"

Ah. Fuck. He almost forgot. "Oh, it's-" He pulled the cowboy hat over his face in an attempt to hide the mark. "It's nothing. I just fell."

But Mikell wasn't that easily fooled. He reached over and gently stroked his brother's cheek with his thumb, making him wince in pain. "He hit you, didn't he?"

Jack frowned, lowering his head, though his eyes still focused on his older brother. "Please don't get angry at him."

"He hit you." Mikell hissed through gritted teeth, feeling his blood boil.

"You're hurt." Jack had already grabbed Mikell's arm, fearing he was already planning to storm out the front door and scream at their father. And he wasn't exactly wrong. "Please, don't do anything stupid, he'll hurt you."

"Jack-"

"Mikell, please." He pulled himself closer, wrapping his arms around the older man's torso. "Please. You won't win this argument, he's just going to hurt you. Please just let it go…"

"I…" Mikell sighed heavily, letting his frustration leave his body with the big exhale and his shoulders falling, propping his chin against the top of Jack's head. "...Fine. But the second I'm healthy again, that bastard better watch his back."

"Thank you."

"...Okay, well, TJ and Claire are waiting for us. Come on."

[drreporting]

Echo Pt.15

15th June 2019.

“Amy?” Derek called as he entered the empty skills lab, “You paged me, is everything alright?”

Amelia turned around in her chair. “I don’t know.”

“Well, what’s wrong?” he concernedly asked, coming to her table and sitting down next to her.

“Is it possible to have phantom pain and not have an amputated limb?” she asked in a soft voice, looking down at her lap.

Derek smirked, unsure of where this conversation was going. “You’re a neurosurgeon, you already know the answer.”

“My hand hurts,” she whispered, squeezing her hand, “A lot.”

“Well,” he mused, leaning back in the chair, “It’s only been two weeks since the accident, that’s expected.”

“It wasn’t hurting before,” she added, tears coming to her eyes, “It started hurting yesterday after the meeting.”

Derek sat up, treading lightly, afraid to say the wrong thing. “What kind of pain?”

Amelia shrugged. “Pressure. Sometimes I can physically feel the window of the airplane squeezing my wrist.”

“Maybe you should consider other diagnoses,” Derek said, slowly adding, “Like…PTSD…”

Amelia chuckled bitterly. “Funny, you’re not the first person to tell me that.” She looked down at her hand, feeling it squeezing, as though the blood circulation was being cut off from it. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to take her mind off of it.

“It’ll go away,” he assured her, taking her hand in his. He ran his thumb along the back of her hand, around her wrist, then along her palm. “How’s it going with Owen?”

“Hmm?” she hummed, momentarily distracted by his massage, “Oh, it’s okay. He told me he remembered something else yesterday.” She closed her eyes and smiled. “Something about me making waffles.”

Derek chuckled, reversing the pattern of the massage. “Your waffles are hard to forget, I’ll have to admit.”

“The waffle maker does most of the work,” she dismissed, smiling a little.

He shook his head and smirked, stopping his massage. “Let’s go for lunch, it’ll take your mind off things.” She nodded and stood up, joining him in his walk to the cafeteria.

---

“Derek, Arizona and I got more than that when our plane crashed,” Meredith commented as she, Maggie, Arizona, Alex and Owen sat at the cafeteria table, having lunch.

“I don’t want the money,” Alex grunted, stabbing his fork into his salad, “I just want to forget the thing ever happened. Our kid almost lost both her parents and I hate thinking about that. No amount of money can ever make me forget that.”

“Just your kid?” Maggie commented, taking a bite of her sandwich, “Owen and Amelia’s four kids almost lost both their parents too.” Looking over at Owen, she added, “I don’t know if I’d actually have been able to fulfil my godmother duty for all four of those gremlins.”

Meredith chuckled. “Agreed, huh Owen?” When no response came, Meredith looked over at where Owen was sitting and noticed he was staring intently in another direction. “Owen?” She tapped him on his shoulder.

“Hmm?” he hummed, looking at them dumbfounded, “What were you saying?”

“Who were you looking at?” Maggie inquired suspiciously.

“No one,” he lied. Being directly opposite to Owen, Maggie looked over his shoulder, only to see the two Shepherd siblings having lunch across the cafeteria.

“He’s looking at Amelia,” she announced, pointing her fork in his direction.

“No I wasn’t,” he denied, his cheeks turning red already.

“Amelia and Owen, sitting in a tree,” Arizona teased, making Alex and Meredith chuckle, “K-I-S-S…”

“Not funny,” he said, cutting her off, “Amelia and I aren’t sitting in trees and we definitely aren’t kissing.” He looked over at the table she was sitting at and, longingly, sighed.

“Not yet,” Meredith added.

“Not at all,” Owen corrected her, turning back around.

“But you want to kiss, don’t you?” Arizona continued the game, enjoying it.

“No, I don’t!” he exclaimed, their teasing making his entire face turned red.

“He definitely wants to suck her face,” Alex pointed out.

“And so what if I do?” Owen finally confessed, stabbing his fork into his pasta and almost breaking the plastic, “What’s so wrong with that?”

“Other than the fact that you guys cheated on each other and then got divorced in like, a month?” Meredith said, stating the obvious.

“It’s a shame you can’t remember how heavy you and Shepherd used to go at it in the on-call rooms,” Alex sighed, taking a sip of his coffee, “At least you would’ve had the memories to keep you satisfied. Now, all you probably have is fantasies.”

“I don’t fantasise about Amelia,” he said, which was true. He didn’t fantasise about her, just occasionally wondered what it would be like to have his tongue brushing against hers. Or other parts of his body.

“Of course you don’t,” Alex humoured him.

“Hey, at least this is better than the bickering,” Arizona chimed in, “That was annoying.” The other doctors hummed in approval while Owen stared at all of them in confusion.

“You guys fought a lot,” Maggie informed him, “Like, every day, more than three times a day.”

“About what?” he asked.

“Everything,” they all answered at the same time.

“Little stuff like leaving the toilet seat up, closing cabinets, putting stuff back in the right place,” Meredith mused.

“Then there was the big stuff like lying, cheating, you drinking,” Maggie added, “Oh, and Megan of course.”

“Why would we be fighting about my sister?” Owen wondered.

“You didn’t tell Amelia she was alive,” Meredith told him, “Not to mention, every time you visited her in DC, you’d come back drunk.”

“You came to work drunk , a couple times,” Arizona piped in.

“Wow,” Owen said, suddenly feeling extremely guilty. He turned around and looked at Amelia once more, feeling even more terrible for what he’d possibly put her through. He watched as she spoke with the Derek, the way her dimple popped when she laughed at whatever joke he made, and he smiled, her happiness infectious.

“He definitely wants to bang her,” Alex chimed, noticing the dreamy look on Owen’s face.

“How do I fix this?” he asked them once he turned around.

“I don’t know if that’s possible at this point,” Arizona truthfully remarked, “Once you stop loving someone, there’s not much more you can do.”

“I find it hard to believe that I ever stopped loving her,” he said, “I just want to know what happened, so I can fix it.” In a softer voice, he added, “I don’t think our story was meant to end like this.” The four doctors looked at him, pity on all of their faces.

Ceasing the jokes, Meredith said, “You should ask her for the whole story. Maybe that will help.” Owen nodded appreciatively at her.

---

Owen and Amelia stood side by side as they washed the load of dishes together. Having put the kids to bed a little while ago, Owen was glad to have her all to him, so they could talk.

“Amelia,” he said softly, the noise of dishes hitting each other louder than his own voice, “Can we talk?” His ex-wife froze midway through washing a plate. He watched as she slowly began to scrub the plate again.

“What do you want to talk about?” she asked, handing the plate to him to rinse.

“About what happened between us,” he said.

“I told you what happened already,” she reminded him.

“No, I want the whole story,” he clarified, putting the plate to dry and taking the other one from her hand, “You only told me about the cheating and the divorce. I want to know what happened before that.”

“Owen…” she sighed, closing her eyes briefly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Please,” he begged, setting down the dish now as he faced, “I know you’re not supposed to tell me everything about my life, but I deserve to know what happened to me. To us.”

Handing him the last plate, she shut off the water and sighed. “What’s the point?”

Owen paused for a bit before answering her question. “I may not be able to fix our marriage, Amelia, but I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I’m tired of apologising; I want to do something about it.” He put the plate away and faced her now. “Please tell me what happened, so I can be a better person in the future, for myself at least.”

“Let’s go sit,” she suggested. He followed her to the living room and they sat on the couch. Not wanting to push her, he watched as she fiddled with her finger in her lap, intently focused on them. Quickly, she wiped a stray tear from her eye as she mustered up the courage to talk about the painful five months they’d been through that eventually led to their divorce.

“Megan’s in a rehab facility in DC,” she began, unsure of how exactly to bring across the story, “You would visit her on the weekends.” She smiled sadly to herself as she recalled, “I remember dreading the weekends and the days following it, because that was when you’d be at your worst.” Owen internally cringed at her statement. She made him feel like he was an abusive drunk.

“The problems started from when you first visited her,” she told him.

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 3

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3,853 Previous Chapters: 1, 2

Also on ff.net and AO3.

One, two boys by the river Down by the water tellin' riddles in the dark With fireflies under the moonlight Carvin' the insides of a tree with a knife You ever hear the one about the boy's big sister His best friend come along He tried to kiss her

-The Wallflowers, "The Difference"

Now.

Dick rolled over in bed as his cell’s ringtone blared loudly, glaring and groping for the obscene noisemaker. Checking the time, he squinted blearily as he noted the Caller ID, unsurprised by the label listed.  Though he briefly considered the option of ignoring, he was conditioned to respond to every evening page as if it were an emergency (and, considering the extending party’s “extenuating circumstances”, it could very well be something important; he’d never forgive himself for not being there a second time when his younger sibling needed him).  In fact he was rather used to being awoken at odd hours by now – or sometimes the other way around – even if he’d also since ceased his other “nighttime activity”.  …Still, old habits tend to die hard.

He flipped open the phone and greeted groggily, speech slurred somewhat.

“Hey, bro.  Whassup?”

His hearing was immediately hailed by a jumble of words, tumbling from the receiver like a drunken tirade (which, in his heavily inebriated state, didn’t help the matter of his own increasing headache).

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. What’s this about you and Steph?”

A curved shape stirred under the comforter next to him, wrapping naked appendages around his shoulders. He could feel an ample pair of voluptuous volumes pressing against his back, alcohol and cherry-scented lips nibbling sensually against the scruff of his neck.  Feminine fingertips concurrently tracing contours of collagen craters over hardened hide – gradually fading but forever permanent – circular scars pockmarking his skin.  Within. Teasing broad blades and spine (where a bullet remained lodged, buried evidence of a decisive battle that felt so long ago – but still stung like yesterday).  A cloying query purred, sickeningly saccharine:

“Who ya talking to?”

“Hold on,” Dick murmured into the speaker as he gripped the hand spider-crawling light across his chest, slowly snaking down to his waist.  Gently but firmly, he pushed the owner off, sliding to a stiff sit on the edge of the mattress.  Balancing the phone in a semi-awkward position (which most people who weren’t as flexible would probably find pretty difficult to maintain, even if his own elasticity was halved compared to before), he hurriedly pulled on his pants and rose, staggering to the door.

“Sorry babe, I gotta take this.”

“Mm, hurry back, hot stuff~”

Swaying slightly, he lumbered out into the hall and down the stairs from the loft, making sure to put a secure measure between himself and the bedroom.  (Though navigating around the familiar furniture and gym equipment was a fairly easy task, he had to be extra careful descending the last step, as even without the spirits in his system, he was still getting used to the whole “reduced depth perception” thing.)  Once he was sure he was out of eavesdropper’s range, he resumed the call.

“Back.  Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Were you… with someone just now?”

“Maybe.”

“I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?”

“S’fine.”

“Sounded like a girl.”

“Jus’ some lady I met at a bar last night.  …Come to think of it, I don’t think I got her name.”

He could virtually hear the shaking head on the other end, more than mildly exasperated.

“Unbelievable.”

“Hey, last I checked, having a healthy sex life isn’t a crime.”

“And you’re totally not overcompensating for a lack of the latter in your life.”

“Look, are we gonna talk about my issues with women or yours?”

“…”

More soberly, he asked:

“Do you need me to go over there?”

“No.”

“Then talk to me, Tim.  What happened.”

The silence was stark as opposed to the initial outpouring.  Dick lowered his tone, softening to a hush.  Tentatively, he prompted again via the one clear bit of info he had caught from the earlier conversation before it was cut off.

“You said she’s the Spoiler.”

Just to be safe, he cupped his palm to contain the whisper.  Again, old habit.

“I… confronted her about it.  Tried to get her to stop.  And I- I ended up telling her.  About us.”

“How much?”

“Enough.”

“Tim.”

“Look, I just mentioned the fact that I used to be… you know.  I didn’t say anything about ‘that’.  …I couldn’t.”

“And?  Then what?”

“She kept asking about it…  About why I quit.  I couldn’t tell her the whole truth.  I mean, how could I?  There’s just no way.”

Dick sighed, scraping a hand through his hair.  He could understand where the kid was coming from, sure, but based on personal experience, taking the easy way out had never worked out well in terms of keeping long-term commitments before (at least any of his actual attempts at them).  …Especially when it came to withholding secrets from each other.

“Listen, Tim, if you’re really serious about this girl, then you’re gonna have to make some compromises. Take it from someone who knows, honesty is key to being in a relationship.”

“…Says the guy who takes advantage of his disability by using it as a way to get laid.”

“Hey, what can I say, chicks dig the patch.”  Dick shrugged, eyeballing his half-masked appearance in the window’s reflection.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“I prefer to think of myself as an ‘equal-opportunist’.  …Anyway, like I said, this is about your love life, not mine.  ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ and all that jazz.”

“Except I’m not like you.  I’m not some super pick-up artist, I can’t just go gallivanting around broadcasting my ‘condition’ to the world to garner sympathy.”  The air quotes in the dialogue were distinctly audible.  “It’s not exactly something I can pretend to boast proudly about, unlike your ‘stupid sexy eyepatch’.”

Dick clenched his fist, trying not to get riled by the bitter sarcasm rolling off the other’s barbed tongue. As much as he generally avoided overreaction to insensitivity, it was still a sore subject – especially when the instigator in this case couldn’t contend obliviousness – ignorant bliss – about the actual origin of his wounds (and vice-versa).

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Sorry, low blow.  It’s just…  What the hell am I gonna do, Dick?  There has to be some other way to convince her.” A pause, followed by a swallow. “I never wanted her to get involved in any of this.  How can I even break it to her without her wanting to break up with me?”

“Sometimes that’s a risk you have to take if you want to make progress.”

“…It’s too late now anyway.  I already messed up big-time.  We got into a fight afterwards.  Like, an actual fight.  Dick, I… I almost hurt her.”

He sounded scared, like he was about to cry.  Growing concerned, Dick reached for his pocket, fumbling for the keys to his cycle as he tried to remember where he put them after returning home in such a stupor.

“I’m coming to get you.”

Maybe they were still in the ignition, or his jacket.  Crap, he forgot to put on a shirt.  He’d have to go back upstairs for that as well.  And then he’d be forced to explain to the erotic nymph draped over his blankets why he was bailing in the middle of their “date”.  …Just like old times.  It was almost nostalgic.

“No, I’ll…  I’ll handle this.”

“Are you sure?  ‘Cuz I can come pick you up, no prob.”

“Yeah, right.  You’re intoxicated right now, aren’t you?”

“…Okay, you got me.  Frankly it’s a miracle I didn’t get into an accident earlier.  Almost crashed into a pole actually.”  He sank onto a balance beam with a groan, rubbing his brows.  “…I may or may not be seeing spots at the moment.”

“If Barbara knew you were driving drunk around Gotham city she’d have you arrested in a heartbeat.”

“You really gotta bring her up now?”  The furrows of his forehead deepened as Dick frowned.  “Anyway, she’s off-duty today.”

Sharp as a razor, Tim seized smoothly on the discrepancy.

“…How do you know that?”

Dick flinched, grip tightening on the cellular.

“I just do, okay?”

There was a moment of quiet, before Tim’s voice continued.

“Dick.  When’s the last time the two of you spoke?”

Dick heaved a long exhale. Somehow, talking to Tim when he was under influence always seemed to land back on this topic.  Curse whatever was in that mix for making him maudlin.

“What happened between us is our business.  It’s got nothing to do with you.  Besides, it’s ancient history now.  She moved on, and so did I.  These things happen.  You should just focus on maintaining ties with your girlfriend.  …Actually, maybe you should go see her.  Babs, I mean.  She’s closer to you, and she can probably help you out better than I can.”

“…I’m already on my way there.”

“Ah.”  A beat.  “Good.  Let me know how it goes.”

“Yeah.  I’ll talk to you later.”

“…Tim, wait.”  Dick stood up again, feeling frustrated at his own uselessness, restless and remorseful.  He hobbled, wobbling to the wall, leaning with one arm against it for support instead. “I know I haven’t been the greatest role model to you, especially recently.  Hell, it’s practically my fault you wound up this way.  If I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own affairs, if only I’d looked out for you more…”

“Dick, we’ve been over this.  I don’t hold any of what happened in the past against you.  Like you said, it’s ancient history.  You’re the one who wanted to put an end to the blame game when you got… ‘injured’.  We’re even, remember?”

“I know, but still. Here I am, supposed to be the responsible elder relative, and yet it feels like I’m the one constantly getting lectured.”

“Are you kidding, you’re the best big brother I could’ve asked for.  You’ve always been there for me since then.  I’m grateful for the effort, really.  …Even if I haven’t always acted like it.”  As if embarrassed by his own admission of sentiment, Tim added: “Plus, you’re a perfect example of what not to do when it comes to dealing with angry females.”

“Har har.  Touché.”

Despite the jab, it relieved Dick a little, that Tim was still able to josh like this on occasion.  He’d been doing it more often ever since he met the female in question, actually. Dick had discreetly observed the difference over the past several months, and truth be told he was a mite jealous at times.  Watching those two together reminded him of days spent hanging out with another certain tenacious gal who refused to listen to his warnings, and kept tagging along on various dangerous assignments, impressing him each time with her capabilities…

“I’m joking, but…  I meant what I said earlier.  You didn’t have to stick around Gotham after that whole ‘fake Joker’ fiasco, just to keep an eye on- watch over me, you know.  You’ve got less reason to want to be here than me, what with ‘that guy’ and Barbara both being nearby…  I mean, considering the entire mess that followed the first… ‘incident’, everything that happened between you and her…  For you to move back on my account…  Sometimes I feel like I ruined both your lives, like I’m dragging you all down with me…”

Dick wasn’t about to allow Tim to start wallowing in self-pity again.

“Look, I made the decision on my own.  Those two had nothing to do with it.  I was worried about you, so I stayed.  Simple as that.  …Besides, it’s not like there’s much I can offer Blüdhaven at this point.”

“Yeah well, maybe you should let others worry about you for a change.  I still wish you would’ve let me come with you that time.  …Maybe then at least one of us would still be doing the hero gig.”

“Trust me, it was a long-time coming.  My wake-up call just happened to occur a little later.”

“But-”

“Tim, I appreciate the concern.  But right now you’ve got bigger problems to deal with, don’t you? Listen, you’ve got a good thing going for you.  You should hold onto it, and… Don’t let go, because once you lose that chance…  It’s gone.  Don’t screw it up by making the same mistakes I did.  …Believe me, if any one of us deserves a shot at happiness, it’s you.”

For a minute, his partner remained mute, perhaps debating whether to protest further.  Dick held his breath, prepared to shoot down any deflecting arguments.  Finally though, Tim simply stated:

“I gotta go.  I’m at the door.”

“All right.  …Say hi to Barbara for me.”

“I will.”

“Good luck, Tim.”

“Thanks.”

As he disconnected, Dick’s partial vision lazed, traveling hazily towards a poster on the partition he was propped against.  In its center displayed an image of his junior self in circus garb, surrounded by his smiling mom and dad: The Flying Graysons, in all their erstwhile glory.

He wondered, idly, if his parents would be proud of what their son ultimately turned out to be: a drunken and debauched bachelor, hung over and hung up on muddled memories, making up for current paucity of meaning or purpose with an abundance of casual hook-ups.  A disgrace to the Grayson title, prodigy turned prodigal.  Who went from valiantly saving citizens with a wink and grin (not like he could even pull off the former now) to sleeping around on a whim, “swinging” from clubs at night rather than rooftops – trying in vain to fill some void, a hollow hole left in his heart.  Tim was right; he was just seeking to sate a starved hunger for attention, a voracious need for validation he’d long been denied.  Appetite for affection.  Acknowledgment.  Acceptance.  Substantiate some sort of worth after everything he (thought he) knew was stripped – stolen – from him (literally and metaphorically – in more ways than one), for the sheer sake of sustaining his existence.

Unlike Tim, it wasn’t the first time he’d been betrayed by his ideals.  …Hence all the more reason he’d stormed out in a huff (seemingly for good), thanks to the final straw – or rather bullet – that broke his back (which he’d already been stabbed in once before).  …And yet, no matter how many times he endeavored to completely break away, set sail on his own private path, he kept coming back to the same place, somehow ending up exactly right back where he started.  Desperate for other forms of contact after cutting nearly all ties to “family” and friends (not just within the gloomy house where he grew up, but foregoing second sanctuary, his summer “haven” as well), he found himself drifting aimlessly since then, treading water and clinging to wreckage just to stay afloat, now that so many bridges were burnt beneath his feet.  …Harboring hatred towards ‘that man’ most of all – maybe moreso than Tim.

To keep from sinking in a sea of longing and lingering regret, he quickly discovered a different method to dispel wrath in place of punishing felons (which in turn had progressively become a surrogate for rage-punching a fraud of a foster “father”, whose loathsome face he still sometimes visualized when he sparred in solitude).  Where Tim eventually took to literature as a diversion (even if Dick was unfortunately just as aware of other, more abusive addictions – although those had steadily been improving as well of late), instead he turned exclusively to liquor to escape loneliness, slake an insatiable thirst for vengeance and quench resentment. Quell fury without resorting to fists. (Even if firewater sometimes fueled violent urges further instead of dousing ire.)  Simultaneously satisfying desire for warmth by throwing himself into an endless series of one-night stands, (self-)disgust disguised as lust.  Hate replaced with fervent heat, tangling and tangoing under sweat-stained sheets.  Ravenously ravishing, savoring strangers’ touch.  Relish in passing pleasure.  …Easing exhaustion and envy (over an ex dumped years ago, an old flame gone cold – even though he’d extinguished the last spark himself) through empty embrace.  To console a weary, guilt-ridden soul by trading duty and sacrifice for decadent vice. From Robin to Bluebird to Cardinal sin. Downing his own woeful sorrows and demons by drowning them in sex and tonic and gin.

Granted, most days he managed to uphold a relatively respectable impression, fronting as a well-adjusted and decently functioning member of society despite debilitation (even if his was more physical than psychological).  In contrast to Tim’s total retreat into depression – regression – going through the minimal motions in order to survive, he told himself he needed to be strong – to be the dependable brother he never really was (at least when it counted).  Still, his insecurities merely manifested in different ways, relying on showboating and overindulgence as an invisible crutch.  Resolutely rejecting the rigorous manner (nevermind manor) in which he was sternly brought up and raised – trained to remove empathy out of the equation for the objective of the so-called “mission” – out of staunch determination not to become like him.

…For all his resolve to resist such strict teaching techniques though, even he recognized the suave playboy in the mirror nowadays was as much a persona as his previous mentor’s was.  Hiding hostility and apathy behind an altered ego, a modified mask.  Concealing consciousness over obvious flaws beneath another façade, exuding false confidence.  Even if outwardly he wasn’t as gruff or tough as his former instructor (or rather false “idol”) – certainly nowhere near as mean and demanding in demeanor – underneath the fortified exterior was essentially nothing but a spiteful shell.  His real self had become just as brooding and detached – deflated – suppressing jaded cynicism beneath dry wit and humor.  Honestly, who was he even to give counsel when he could barely claim to be any better at coping with his emotions?

Things changed – were changing – for Tim and for Barbara.  For the better.  …Meanwhile, where did that leave him?  A part of him felt cheated, like he was being left behind – abandoned in the same way he (ironically) once did to them – and it made him afraid.  The truth was he was the only one who stayed the same by declining to let go the past, bearing grudges beyond their prime to the point they festered deep within his rotten gut.  Rancid rancor.  Sour and stagnant, just like…

“God, I really am starting to sound like him.”

He muttered as he realized he was no longer mentally making excuses, but apologizing aloud to his folks’ memorial portrait.  He seriously was smashed.

To distract his buzzed brain, he shifted concentration to a more menial matter.

“Keys, keys…  Where the hell did I leave those damn things.”

“Looking for these?”

He rotated to find his guest poised suggestively against the entry frame, dangling the chain from her digit.  She was wearing his top too, go figure (though her bottom half was still clearly undressed).   She pouted as he approached and made a grab for the brass ring, withdrawing the prize behind her back.

“You weren’t planning on leaving me here and running off, were you?”

Dick hastily put on debonair airs, flashing a signature winsome beam that would make any damsel melt.  He slipped his hands over coyly cocked hips, causing knees to weaken as he drew her in close (subtly stimulating lower regions).

“’Course not.  Why on earth would I want to leave such a gorgeous goddess?”

Duh, I live here.  Where the hell would I even go.

She gave a giddy, high-pitched giggle (almost grating), greedily eating up the compliment as she arched into his grip, linking limbs around his collar.

“Good.  Shall we head back upstairs then?”  She mewed demurely whilst playing with a lock of red as she pawed at his breast, thoroughly admiring the rough ruggedness of solidly well-built muscles, rippling beneath bare pecs. Still sturdy and studly (even if somewhat out of shape compared to past prime’s peak).  “You said you were going to show me your ‘love nest’, and I don’t think I’ve seen nearly enough yet.”

Dick winced inwardly at his own lameness.  Sometimes he couldn’t believe the dumbass phrases that spouted out his own mouth.

She inclined forward to seal said mouth with an intensely intimate kiss, and he let her libido lead him up the stairwell.  (He sensed she was trying to keep considerate of his blind side, insistently guiding to prevent any potential bump or blunder – and wasn’t sure whether to be obliged or offended.)  As they walked, half-wavering, half-waltzing, she inquired curiously again:

“So who was that?”

“Just my little brother.  He needed some advice.  Girl troubles.”

“That’s sweet that you care about him.”

“Yeah.”

Bored of the discussion already, she steered impatiently towards the bedchamber, eagerly shutting the door behind them.  Animalistic hormones raging and roaring, raring to pick up right where they left off; rid any remaining decency by delightedly ripping dress off.

“Now then, where were we?”

Like a stage, she dimmed the lights to arouse an amorous atmosphere.  …And yet, despite the dark ambience and scantily clad, seductive beauty growling, prowling before him like some exotic creature – a primal lioness primed to leap on his loins – he couldn’t bring himself to express quite the same enthusiasm as before.  Mood mismatched to setting or pace.  Mind in alternate place.

Rather, he felt suffocated, trapped inside a stuffy, sultry cage of his own creation (as much as he accused the ringmaster of orchestrating from the start, manipulating and pulling puppet strings for his own selfish benefit).  Grounded avian prey, unable to fly away – waiting to be devoured by some carnivore, a carnal carnival.  Like his own innocence (whatever was left of it) was about to be deflowered.

Because he knew the drill by now.  Relentlessly rehearsed the same routine, practicing – perfecting – perfunctory performance over and over, too many times to keep track of.  They’d share a few wild nights of tender passion, tearing through clothes and covers and countless condom wrappers with reckless abandon.  (For all the uncomfortable scoldings his allegedly appointed legal “guardian” – let alone purported “parent” – gave him on using protection, you’d think the old man would at least be able to follow through with his own recommendation –especially when it came to the most significant person his ward – “son” had cared about since college.  …Whom he’d planned to make his own proposal to, planned a whole lifetime together with – only for her to weep over crushed dreams and canceled wedding bells – before settling down as someone else’s happily ever after instead when he stubbornly – stupidly – wouldn’t take her back. Turned his back.)

Then.  She’d start to get too clingy, too close – and he’d dodge and dismiss – distancing – fleeing on frigid feet, promising to call her – only to break that promise and her heart. Afterwards, when she finally manages to get ahold of him – maybe she’d stumble into him in the street, or, if she were persistent enough – already in bed with another – she’d cry, scornfully slap his (im)perfect visage, yell that he’s a dick (as if he hadn’t heard that line a thousand times before), and when she tearfully demands an explanation for such abrupt rebuff, all he can sincerely answer – from the bleak bottom of his blackened integrity – is the same tired failsafe he’s fallen back on for years:

“Things change.”

One boy lives in a tower With bow and arrow and the artificial heart With his girl, maid of dishonor He loaded the cannon with a jealous appetite They say that children now they come in all ages And maybe sometimes old men die with little boy faces

The only difference that I see Is you are exactly the same as you used to be

[chibipika]

Right, so I’ve encountered yet another situation where ignoring my main character’s parents has threatened to nuke my entire fic  (I just want to write cool Legendary adventures why does this keep happening.)

Unlike the previous times, however, I think I have a way to handle it this time. (Really boring plot holes under the cut:)

So, quick recap for those who don’t know—Jade’s family doesn’t exist because every time I try to acknowledge them, the fic almost dies.  In earlier revisions, this was because her previous status as a self-insert made any attempts to write her parents unbearably awkward.  Chapter 21 (which was the beginning of Book 2 in the old thread) took eleven months because of a single-page scene where Jade returns home, and I hated it so much that I deleted it a few months later.

So I’ve got Jade on this whole unofficial-training-and-fighting-Rockets adventure.  And as far as her parents are concerned, she just disappeared one day with no explanation whatsoever.  This of course causes HUMONGOUS problems and is the primary reason why trying to figure out how the hell to ever write Jade interacting with them is an impossibly daunting task.  I… just… how do you even begin to go about fixing that?

So I’ve ignored them for this long… why is the fic in trouble about it now? Well…

In Chapter 23, Jade briefly debates returning home before deciding that it’s too risky to live in Viridian, and that traveling around is safer.  But she doesn’t have a license yet, so she decides to get one (after some persuading.)  Of course, the plot is gonna derail her from that hardcore, but she’ll still end up going through with that in chapter 30.

The problem is… how exactly is Jade going to get a license when her name is probably on like fifty “missing kid” lists and would get flagged the instant she entered the League system?  This literally only just occurred to me yesterday.

The obvious solution is to finally get rid of the whole “training illegally” subplot and make it that Jade left home and said goodbye like any normal kid, which instantly removes all the awkwardness and makes it that there isn’t this big gaping plot hole hanging over her shoulder.  The problem is… holy hell that subplot gets mentioned ALL THE TIME.  It would be extremely hard to remove it at this point.

But I need her to get a license.  I can’t have her travelling across Johto for a year with no license without running into some major realism issues.  (Let’s be real, the only reason she’s made it this far is because of Stalker.)

So I think I’ve finally got an idea.  I need to write an Extra that takes place after Chapter 5 (right after the plane incident is concluded) in which Jade calls home later that night, apologizes for being gone all day, and says she’s gonna be a Pokémon trainer.

Figuring out how to navigate a conversation in which Jade awkwardly apologizes for being gone all evening is infinitely easier than one in which she is gone for months.  And I can just make Jade have one parent and no siblings, to make things as simple as possible (or if she has both parents, only one is present for the phone call).

Of course, said parent is going to be somewhat unamused by the whole “training illegally” thing and is going to ask if Jade has really thought this through and what her plan is.  Jade will explain that she’s meeting up with some friends and will be staying with them, that she already got a Charmander (in addition to having taken Swift) and that the only reason she’s doing this is because she thinks she’ll never pass the test from learning about Pokémon training in school, and that the only way to understand it is to experience it firsthand.  The parent agrees and makes Jade promise to get a license for real once she’s learned enough.

Being caught training illegally really only results in the League sending your ass home, having your Pokémon confiscated, and getting put on probation from training for a year.  Which sucks, but isn’t gonna ruin your adult life or give you a criminal record or anything.  Pretty much just ruins your chances at becoming a competitive battler, which isn’t even one of Jade’s goals.  This would get brought up in the conversation.  I could actually have a lot of fun with the dialogue here with stuff like, “Just don’t expect me to cover for you if they send your butt back to Viridian, alright?”

I don’t think this is too unreasonable.  After all, Pokémon training is a huge part of the culture in their world and it’s basically expected that all kids will leave home someday as part of their coming-of-age.  It’s just that yes, there are a lot of rules and regulations surrounding it.

So yeah.  I don’t know when I’m going to write this Extra, but I definitely need to do it before Chapter 30.  Probably not now, because I’m just about to enter my favorite arc and I have zero desire to write anything else. But I am not going to forget about this, because I would love to be done with this plot hole once and for all.