#so i apologize for the block of text with that last question

[savedpeople]

MULTIMUSE QUESTIONAIRE

RULES: Answer the questions with the Muses that would best fit the answers. Bonus if you give details why. If tagged, copy and paste into a new post – DO NOT REBLOG!

(Since this is a single-muse blog, I'm going to include muses I've played on other blogs. I'm not going to include every muse I've ever written though because 1. it already feels funny talking about muses that 99% of my followers have never seen me write, and 2. some of them were very short-lived. So I'm only including the ones that I've written most or were most significant, plus my newest one that I haven't written yet, since they've been on my mind a lot lately.)

1) Rank your softest Muse and your toughest Muse. (Personality-wise) - Strictly personality-wise, softest to toughest: Ted Logan (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure), Max Caulfield (Life is Strange), Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!), Amaimon (Blue Exorcist), Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen), Negan, Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan.) This is kind of funny though because aside from Ted and Max, none of these characters can really be considered "soft."

2) Which Muse would blow through $1000 quickly? - Gojo. But he's also rich rich, so $1000 is nothing to him. He canonically owns shirts that cost more than that. Aside from him, I think if you gave Ted $1000 he could easily blow it all on music gear and albums pretty quickly lol.

3) Do any of them have nicknames? Is there a meaning behind them? - Negan has been called "Neegs" by a few, but not many can get away with that. "Ted" is short for Theodore, and "Max" is short for Maxine (never call Max by her full name, she hates it.)

4) Are any of them up-to-speed on the latest trends? Anyone more old school? - Ted, Gojo, and Max are most likely to be up-to-speed on trends, but Max appreciates the old school stuff (she prefers analog cameras over digital for her photography, for instance.) Levi and Negan are more old school, though Negan might attempt to learn trends to seem cool to his students/the kids (it rarely works.)

5) Who has the best relationship with their siblings? - Three of them have siblings: Ted, Izaya, and Amaimon. Ted and his little brother probably have the best relationship, at least as kids, though he deals with insecurity and envy as their dad clearly favors his brother. Izaya has two sisters who are twins and about ten years his junior. Their parents were abroad for work so much that he basically raised them, but his bad influence played part in them turning out eccentric. Their relationship is complicated and a bit love/hate. Amaimon has six brothers and a sister. They are all demons (literally, they are children of Satan lol.) He's only seen interacting with one which I interpret him to have a neutral to positive relationship with. I don't see him having a close relationship with any of the others. But I also haven't read or watched the series in years, so I have no idea if more has been revealed.

6) Karaoke night! Who is likely to grab the mic first and bust out a tune? - Ted. Max will join him with some encouragement. Negan if he's had a few drinks.

7) Who is least likely to enter a beauty pageant/model? - Levi (he could actually probably do well as a model, but suggest this and he'll vehemently deny it.) Also Amaimon because he doesn't spend much time on Earth and probably doesn't even know what a beauty pageant is.

8) If your Muses visited a haunted house where actors scare you, who would panic and who would be unfazed? - Ted and Max would be panicking (but they're having a blast.) Levi and Amaimon are unfazed.

9) Are any of your Muses particular about taking certain modes of transportation? - Not really. Max does get nervous about airplanes and Izaya prefers to walk or take a taxi/public transport. Gojo doesn't drive and either takes the train/subway, has his assistant drive him, or teleports/warps short distances since he can do that lol.

10) Share a little-known fact about any Muse. - So I can't really think of anything, but I have twd verses for most of my muses that I never got to use/talk about so I'mma ramble on about little things about them here. Ted - and Bill - were following a band on tour that summer, and were at a music venue in the Atlanta area when the outbreak hit. Bill's dad died saving them the first day, and they and Missy go on to survive traveling around in their RV for a while. Max found an old vintage photography store shortly after the outbreak and took as many packs of polaroid film as she could realistically carry. She continues taking photos, not just to document the new world but to also capture small moments of beauty and happiness within her group. Gojo acts nonchalant about the apocalypse until he loses his best friend to a walker bite, after which he essentially shuts down and locks himself in a room with the (restrained) walker for days, refusing to let anyone in. He even attempts to remove its jaw/hands to keep it with him (kind of like Michonne did), and it wasn't until after that he finally killed it. He puts on a big smile and acts fine, but the unresolved anger and grief come out in spades whenever he goes up against walkers. Izaya and his sisters are in an airport preparing to fly back to Japan when the outbreak hits, and get stranded in the Virginia/DC area. A group takes them in out of pity, despite Izaya giving them the creeps. But when his sisters are eaten in a large walker attack, the group abandons him, and he's presumed dead. Months later, cue The Saviors showing up with Izaya at Negan's side as one of his lieutenants. Surprise! Levi meets up with his uncle, the only family he has, when the outbreak happens. It doesn't take long for them to start butting heads morally - his uncle is much quicker to warm up to the idea of stealing and killing. But they stick together until they're separated while fighting a horde, and Levi's been on his own ever since, unsure if he's alive. He's eventually taken in by Alexandria, but has a hard time adjusting. I don't have anything set for Amaimon, but he's naturally violent and off-putting and very likely ends up with the Whisperers or becomes a cannibal or something lol.

tagged by: @wexarethewalkingxdead tagging: @esoterium @survivoirs @chitteringbeast and anyone else that'd like to do this (y'all are the only active mutuals I know that have multiple muses and weren't already tagged I don't think??)

[justauthoring]

I really like your Tokyo revengers He’s Taken scenario. What if it happened in reverse where someone told the boys that they would be a better fit for reader <3

TOKYO REVENGERS - UM, SHE'S TAKEN?

includes: manjiro "mikey" sano, hanma shuji, baji keisuke and kazutora hanemiya all include xfem!reader!

a/n: this is so late but i felt i should actually do a request for once :) and i always love me some jealous boys!

MIKEY:

The audacity of this man.

That was all Mikey could think.

Did he not know who he was? Did he not know who you were dating? The Invisible Mikey, Toman's Leader and the most handsome boy you knew?

Clearly not.

Frowning, Mikey watches with barely concealed disdain as your classmate (the one you’ve been complaining to him about for weeks now) follows you outside of the school. He couldn’t always pick you up from school with Toman business and the like, but today he’d made sure he’d be able to after you’d texted him the day before that your annoying classmate had proceeded to take his infatuation with you a step further and follow you out of school. It had taken you great convincing to get him not to ‘walk you home’ as he so eloquently put it – stalking more like it – and though you’d tried to play it off, Mikey knew how scared you were.

The second your eyes fall on Mikey making his way over to you, he sees the instant relief that floods through them. Despite everything, Mikey can't help but feel slightly smug at that, hands shoved nonchalantly in his pockets as he crosses the distance over to you.

"Y/N-channn!" He calls out, arms stretched out towards you and with a single brief glance at the boy next to you, you all but race towards him, allowing yourself to fall into his arms. Mikey hates the way he feels you shake slightly beneath his fingertips, and he throws a not-so-subtle glare the classmates way, who – as he figured – is glaring right back at him.

"Y/N," the classmate calls, and Mikey's eyes narrow at his familiarity when regarding you. "Who's this?"

You lean back from his hug, and Mikey can see you look rather annoyed at the question – clearly, you've told him this before.

"Mikey," Mikey cuts in dryly, "her boyfriend."

And he must really not know who Mikey is because he has the gall to laugh.

"Boyfriend?" Haru laughs, mockingly and loudly, head thrown back as you cast a quick glance up at Mikey in uncertainy, trying to gauge he's reaction. Truthfully, Mikey looks unphased. "I thought you were joking about that, Y/N."

And then Haru steps forward, moving towards you; "I mean, you and me make a much better–"

It happens in a flash. Suddenly, you're no longer in Mikey's arms and rather set gently behind him, Mikey’s body blocking your view as Haru's hand that was outstretched towards you is now tightly grasped in Mikey's fist. A quick glance at Haru's face, and you can tell that Mikey's grip is tight, his face twisting with pain.

"Did I forget to mention?" Mikey smiles, "I'm also the leader of Toman."

Haru's eyes widen and he looks scared–well, shitless.

Mikey's grip tightens, finding the way all colour leaves Haru's face rather amusing and the way the panic wells with pain as Mikey bends his arm to the point of just being about to break.

"Now, what was that about you and Y/N-chan being a better match?"

"I was wrong!" Haru cries, voice pitching pathetically, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Don't apologize to me," Mikey shrugs, "apologize to Y/N-chan for making her so uncomfortable for the past few weeks."

Slowly, Mikey takes a step back, allowing you to fall in the view of Haru again, who, near crying, falls to his knees. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

Cheeks red slightly in embarrassment, you turn to Mikey.

He lets go with ease, Haru falling to the ground with one last cry, before Mikey makes his way to you, pulling you back into his arms with a wide grin.

"Let's go eat!" Mikey calls out with a cheer, snuggling into you. "I want you to feed me!"

HANMA:

"I mean, you're no good for her."

There's a beat. One long, single beat of silence before Hanma can't hold himself back anymore and he burst into laughter.

You, whose stood next to him, looks at him in disbelief, eyes widening as Hanma all but cackles in response to Asahi's words. Asahi, to be fair, looks just a stunned, and with a frown, you step towards your boyfriend, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket.

"Shuji!" You hiss, grip tightening on him.

He falls quiet at that, letting his eyes drift across you briefly, taking in the worried look in your eyes and the laughter stops at that. Hanma lets his eyes fall back on this boy, Asahi apparently, and the frown deepens – you were scared of this guy? He looked like wind might blow him over.

Besides, didn't you trust him to protect you?

A single glance back at you, and you're still throwing worried glances at Asahi, shuffled close to his side.

Guess he had something else to prove then.

"That's funny," Hanma finally speaks up, letting his eyes fall on Asahi with disinterest. "Hilarious actually." But all the humour has left his body, and Hanma simply stares back at the boy with a straight face.

Asahi falters, just slightly.

"I-I mean, you're a deliquent!" He calls out, gesturning in front of him at Hanma, before his eyes fall on you. "I mean, surely you can see that being with him will be nothing but a bad influence. If you were–"

Hanma steps in front of you, blocking you effectively from him.

"You don't get to talk to her," Hanma states rather bluntly.

Asahi turns to him, lips parting.

"You're not worthy enough to talk to her, pipsqueak. So let's keep this between you and me, huh?"

The air changes, thickens, and although you can't see it, you can practically sense as Asahi grows nervous, registering the glint in Hanma's gaze as he stares him down.

"I mean, surely, if you knew I was a... what did you say? Delinquent." Hanma snorts, "you think you'd have the brains to realize I'm not someone to mess with. And I don't take kindly to idiots like you trying to tell me who my girl should or shouldn't be with."

Hanma takes a step forward then, towering over the boy whose skin has grown pale, eyes flooding with fear as he stares up at Hanma.

"I especially don't take kindly to you scaring my girl either."

"I-I–"

Grabbing Asahi by the collar of his jacket, Asahi falls silent as Hanma pulls him up until he's standing on the tip of his toes, kicking his feet beneath him.

"But it seems I screwed up too, huh? My girl shouldn't have to be afraid because she should know I'd never let anyone touch her, let alone look at her if they made her uncomfortable."

There's a pause and Hanma's gaze grows wild as his fist slowly raises beside him, Asahi's cries of panic and pleads of mercy simply a background noise.

"So it looks like I gotta show her why."

BAJI:

"You're loud."

Well, Baji guessed he couldn't necessarily argue with that.

"You're rash."

That, too... maybe.

"You're not very smart."

Uh, ouch.

"You act without thinking. It could get Y/N hurt."

Okay, well that was just rude.

You were always Baji's top priority.

Well, that and fighting. But, still.

"I think I'd be a much better fit for her."

Baji should've figured this is where the conversation was going. Letting his eyes drift across the boy stood in front of him, he takes in the sight of his Toman uniform. He doesn't readily recognize the boy, so he's certainly not in his division.

Ballsy, he'd admit.

But stupid nonetheless.

He's probably in Mitsuya's division, Baji laughs to himself.

Well, not for much longer.

"I'll take your silence as a sign you agree with me–"

"I wouldn't jump to conclusions," Baji chuckles, grinning down widely at the boy. "What makes you think you're so great for Y/N? I know she's happy with me."

Lips parting, the boy pauses; "what?"

"You listed off all the reasons why you think I'm not a good fit for her, right?" He quirks a brow, and the boy nods. "So, tell me why you think you're a good match for her. You win, I'll break up with Y/N. And if you lose... well, needless to say." With a wide grin, Baji cracks his knuckles, baring his fists down at the boy.

The boys eyes widen, and he fumbles for a second, before he steels himself, inhaling deeply.

"Well, I'm smart, for one–"

"Wrong," Baji cuts in, "Y/N doesn't like smart guys. Why else would she have gone for me?"

Faltering, the boy shakes his head; "w-well, I'm a good cook–"

"Y/N prefers cooking herself," Baji shakes his head. "It's her passion."

Cheeks redenning, the boy rushes to add; "I-I'm! I'm strong!"

Baji just laughs; "not as strong as me. You're not even a vice captain of Toman!"

Thoroughly embarrassed, the boy hesitates, face bright red.

"Looks like you lose," Baji sings, stepping towards the boy. "I mean, if you really knew Y/N, you'd know the most important thing."

"W-What?"

"That none of that matters because she loves me!"

"You can't just–"

He never finishes what he's about to say before a fist makes contact with his cheek, knocking him off his feet and sending him straight to the ground.

Baji glances down at him with a blink.

"Strong my ass."

He makes a move toward him, before;

"Keisuke!"

Eyes lighting up, Baji spins, grinning at the sight of you. "Y/N!"

You fall in front of him, eyes flickering from the boy groaning on the ground back to him, "did you get in another fight again?"

Baji shrugs; "the guy deserved it. Not much of a fight either.”

And your eyes fall back on the boy on the ground and there's a flicker of hope where he thinks you might help but, but then after a moment you follow Baji's lead, shrugging, letting him take your hand in his before leading him off.

Guess Baji was right – you really did love him.

KAZUTORA:

"I mean, didn't you go to juvie?"

Frowning, Kazutora glares at the man, Daiki as he'd introduced himself as, in front of him. He was apparently a co-worker of yours, though Kazutora's never heard you talk about him before.

Stuck at this party your work was holding for you as a celebration for the promotion you'd received and your excellent work at the company, Kazutora had gotten a whole half hour of your time before you'd been whisked off by two woman, you offering an apologetic smile over your shoulder in response.

At the time, Kazutora hadn't minded – this night was for you after all and he wanted you to enjoy it.

Now, though? He desperately wanted to leave.

"How do you even know that?" Kazutora asks, his patience thin.

"I did some research when Y/N mentioned your name," Daiki shrugs. "Of course, when she mentioned you she hadn't mentioned that."

It's obviously meant as a jab. But Kazutora knew you weren't embarrassed of him – at least, he'd been pretty sure of that.

"Well, it's not really any of your business is it?" Kazutora cuts in, barely able to contain the snide in his tone. He barely liked socializing with people anyway, especially strangers, but he'd gone for you and because he wanted to be apart of your celebration. It was the least he could do after all you'd done for him.

But now he wishes he’d stayed home if he had to continue dealing with this guy.

"Still," Daiki insists, "aren't you embarrassed? I mean, such an upstanding woman... it's a wonder why she ever chose you."

"I chose him because I love him for him," you cut in and Kazutora’s eyes widen, glancing over his shoulder to see you making your way over to him. You look absolutely stunning, dressed in a floor length Y/F/C dress and when you notice his eyes on you, you smile at him, before it falters as you turn back to glance at your coworker. "But I hardly think that's any of your business anyways."

You fall next to Kazutora, wrapping your arm around his waist as you fall into his side, and the second you do, you squeeze Kazutora's side, and he realizes you're trying to reassure him.

"Y/N–!"

"Honestly, Daiki," you breathe out, voice coming out purposely exasperated as you roll your eyes. "I've had this conversation with you multiple times. I am happily in a relationship and your obsession with my personal affairs is strange and inappropriate. Given my promotion, I could easily have you fired."

Kazutora watches as the man's eyes widen, cheeks bleeding red as he shakes his head; "my-my apologies. Please, you don't have to go that far. I'll... I'll make sure I stop."

You raise a brow, holding the man with bated breath for a moment, before you nod. "Just don't let it happen again."

Daiki scurries off without another word, desperate to get away and Kazutora watches as you let out a sigh, shoulders falling as you shift, coming to stand in front of him, hands falling on his hips.

"I'm sorry about him. He's been... annoyingly persistant about asking me out for the past bit. I thought he'd have stopped when I reported him last week but when I saw him talking to you just now, I realized he hadn't."

Kazutora glances down at you, meeting your gaze.

You understand what he's trying to say before he even does; "nuh-uh," you shake your head, tugging him closer to you. "Don't let a word that idiot says get to you. He's just a pervert anyways. He spends half of his time looking down my shirt and I would never want to be with someone like him over you."

Biting his lips, Kazutora smiles softly; "I love you."

"I love you too," you grin, before slipping your hand into his. "Now, come on, I want to introduce you to my friends."

[babydollmarauders]

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n goes on a date with Jack and thinks she made a complete fool of herself

notes: obviously inspired by Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl by Olivia Rodrigo, not proofread and written on extreme sleepiness. (3.6k words)

third dates.

my mother always told me to have them in group settings.

she said the first date is to get to know each other; the second is to learn how he’d treat you in private; the third date is to learn how he’d treat you in front of his friends.

most guys seem to get intimidated when i ask about joining a hang out with his friends for the third date, but Jack was different. i had told Jack on our first about my rules.

first date in a public setting, but alone.

second date in private, his apartment or mine.

third date with a group of friends.

i hadn’t expected him to take it so well, nodding along as though even without context, it made sense. he didn’t ask for clarification, which was good because i had learned after my last relationship not to give any; lest they’ll act like a gentlemen in front of their friends until we start dating.

i honestly didn’t expect Jack to contact me again, fully awaiting the discovery that he’d ghosted me, possibly even blocked me to keep me from talking to him again. but then he texted me tonight.

“i know it’s last minute, but third date tonight? me and some guys from the team are going for drinks, would you wanna come?”

and now here i am, walking into a pretty secluded bar to meet Jack and about half a dozen other professional hockey players. to say i’m nervous would be a massive understatement.

i spent at least half an hour trying on various outfits, but nothing felt right. every article of clothing i tried on had something wrong with it; whether it be that it didn’t fit quite right, or it didn’t match the occasion, or i just deemed it didn’t look good on me, something was always wrong. so i finally settled on a nice sundress, despite the chilled air of the evening.

“y/n!” my head turns in search of the voice that called my name, locking eyes with Jack, where he sits at a high top table with five other guys. “i was starting to think you’d stood me up!”

my eyebrows furrow as i walk over to him, stopping at the end of the table. my stomach ties in knots at all of the eyes on me. i hate attention.

“why would i do that?” a few of the guys chuckle at my question, but i’m not sure i understand what’s so funny.

“i was joking.” Jack clarifies.

oh.

embarrassment washes over me and i can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, but Jack just smiles sweetly, rising to his feet and pulling out the chair beside him.

“oh, thank you.” i take a seat and he returns to his, his hand settling on my knee as one of the guys begin to speak.

“so, you’re y/n?” my eyes go wide, and i glance over at Jack but he’s looking over at the other guy. “i’m Luke.”

“nice to meet you, Luke.” i give the curly headed boy a tight smile, “so, you play with Jack?”

the boy grins, nodding his head, “i guess you could say that.”

everyone snickers, and i fear i’ve made a mistake of some sort. my blood runs cold; i hate feeling like i’m on the outside of some giant inside joke.

maybe this was a mistake.

Jack squeezes my knee, and i look over at him with subtly pleading eyes, silently begging for him to save me.

“Luke is my younger brother, but he does play on the team with me.” there it is. that’s where i messed up.

“oh, i’m sorry.” i’m not sure what i’m apologizing for, but it seems like the right thing to do. i glance back at Luke, “i knew Jack had mentioned your name before but, he’s mentioned so many names that at this point they all jumble together in my head.”

Luke just shakes his head, waving it off. “nah, don’t worry, it’s okay.”

after that, i decide it’s better to go quiet; only really speaking when spoken to. i can’t embarrass myself if i’m not saying anything.

“hey.” Jack’s voice is soft, and at first, i don’t even realize he’s talking to me, until i tear my eyes from who i now know as Dawson, who’s telling a story with wildly gesturing hands. “do you wanna go get a drink?”

he nods his head over towards the bar, and i nod, desperately in need of something to ease my nerves, “yes, please.”

Jack and i rise from our seats, his hand going to my lower back to stabilize me as i stumble. my cheeks go red, but i decide it’s better not to acknowledge my clumsiness.

“and i— where are you guys going?” Dawson cuts himself off, drawing attention to Jack and i’s retreating pair. “did i bore you, y/n?”

i stop in my tracks, freezing up as guilt takes over me.

“i- what? n-no! Jack-” i stumble over my words in a panic, attempting to reassure him, but apparently i didn’t help my case.

“see, Merc! poor y/n even finds your story stupid.” John laughs and i shake my head wildly.

“no! i found it interesting!” Nico snickers at my words, his hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“interesting. that’s one way of putting it.”

oh god, i made it worse.

“guys, leave her alone.” Jack speaks up, rolling his eyes at his friends before he turns back to me. “c’mon, ignore them, they’re just raggin’ on you.”

my brows thread together in confusion, but i nod nonetheless, allowing him to use his hand that still rests on my back to guide me over to the bar.

“i’m sorry about them.” he sighs as we reach the counter, waiting for a bartender. “they have a stupid sense of humor.”

“no! no, it’s fine!” i assure him.

it’s not them, it’s me.

i’ve never been great at picking up on social cues, perhaps due to my odd lifestyle as a child.

when the bartender reaches us, Jack orders another beer before looking over at me, “oh, can i just get an aperol spritz, please?”

Jack hands over his card and when he gets it back he turns to me.

“i gotta run to the bathroom, are you okay waiting for the drinks? i’ll be back in a second.” i nod and he takes off towards the restroom, leaving me alone.

“so, you like him?” apparently not alone for long.

i turn my head in surprise, only to find Luke standing beside me. he asks the bartender who arrives back with Jack and i’s drinks for another beer and the man nods.

“hmm? Jack?” Luke nods and i smile looking down into my glass. “yeah, i really like him.”

“see, i said so!” my face scrunched in confusion as i look back at him.

“you said so?” i question.

“yeah! Johnny was trying to say you must not like him because you aren’t being very flirty, but i told him- i said you obviously like him if you’re on a third date.”

flirting.

i’ve never been great at that. and i haven’t needed to be, Jack is the one who approached me first, he’s the one who asked me out and he hasn’t given any indication that i have any reason to have to flirt to keep his attention.

“oh.”

Luke pays for his beer before retreating back to the table with a low “see you in a few.”

i’m quick to tear my phone out of my pocket, glancing over towards the restrooms for a moment to make sure my date isn’t coming back before making a quick google search.

this seems impossible.

“hey.” Jack reappears beside me and i hastily lock my phone, looking up at him as i go to slide it back into my pocket. but the combination of my fidgety hands, quick movements, and not paying attention to my surroundings doesn’t end well.

before i can even blink, my hand is knocking into my glass, the drink sliding off the bar top and onto the floor, shattering upon impact.

“oh my god!” i squeal, jumping back from the broken shards. i glance down at the mess before looking back up at Jack. “i am so sorry!”

i turn to the waitress who comes rushing towards us with a broom and towels, apologizing profusely and offering to clean it up myself.

“it’s no problem, happens all the time.” she tells me with a smile, but i still bury my face in my hands.

i’m making a fool of myself.

“can we get another aperol spritz?” i peek through my eyes at the sound of Jack’s voice, watching as he hands the bartender his card again.

“i am so sorry, Jack.” my voice is low and whimpered, my shoulders rising as though to protect myself. “i just wasted your money and made a huge mess.”

Jack smiles softly, shaking his head as he chuckles, “don’t worry about it. it’s seriously okay, y/n. accidents happen, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

i nod, but i truly feel horrible now.

this was a mistake. i should’ve just stayed home; watched a cheesy romance or read a true crime novel and gone to bed early.

the bartender hands me the new drink, and i thank him before Jack leads me back to the table.

“everything okay?” Timo questions as we return and Jack just nods as we settle back in our seats.

“yeah, just a little accident. it’s all good.” the guys chuckle but all turn back to their previous conversation, somehow now on the topic of the wildest things they did in school.

i stay silent, hoping and praying to any higher power that they don’t involve me in this conversation, but my luck runs out pretty quickly. although i’m not sure i’ve had any tonight in the first place.

“what about you, y/n?” Nico is the one to rope me in, “what’s the wildest thing you did in school?”

“i- uh-” i internally cringe, mentally preparing myself for their jokes, “i was homeschooled. so, i didn’t really get to do anything crazy like you guys.”

“ohh, you’re a homeschool kid.” Luke nods as if it makes sense.

“did you know that statistically speaking, homeschoolers are more likely to graduate than public schoolers?” John pipes up, and i shake my head.

“really?” Jack questions, his nose scrunched cutely in disbelief.

“no, i- uh, i didn’t know that.” John nods at my words.

“yeah, look it up!” he points to my phone, which never actually made it to my pocket after the broken glass fiasco and now resides face down on the table.

i pick it up and Jack and Dawson, who both reside on either respective side of me, lean in to see my phone screen, eager to find out whether their teammate is correct.

but when i unlock my phone, my eyes grow wide and i’m eagerly attempting to swipe out of the current window, but it’s as if the world is against me because this is the exact moment that my phone screen decides to freeze.

“does that say ‘how to flirt?’” Dawson chuckles and i bite my lip, giving up and slamming my phone face down onto my lap as the table bursts into laughter.

i’m blushing like a mad woman, squeezing my eyes shut as i bury my face into my hands for the second time that night.

“aww y/n, you really let John get to you, huh?” Luke teases, and i feel like i could cry of embarrassment.

everything i do is tragic.

suddenly my seat is moving, scooting further to my right, before an arm is spindling around my waist. i let my hands lower just slightly to peer up at Jack, who wears a happy grin, his cheeks tinged pink.

he glances down at me, smiling even wider when he sees that i’m already looking at him.

it’s like a cat’s got my tongue, too stunned by the overwhelming mortification of the situation to even get a word out to explain or defend myself.

but Jack doesn’t seem to mind, pulling me into his body until my head is against his collarbone as he changes the subject; bringing up a story about he and his older brother trying to free an infant Luke from his crib when they were younger.

i’m quiet as the group speaks, most of them speaking over each other, which in turn makes others get louder to try and be heard. my head aches and i need a break.

“i’m gonna go to the bathroom.” i whisper, freeing myself from Jack’s hold as he nods in understanding.

“okay. are you okay?” i give him a small smile, reassuring him that i’m fine before i leave.

my hands rest upon the bathroom sink, my eyes glaring into my reflection in the wonky bar mirror.

“get it together.” i try and tell myself, but it comes out in more of a whine.

why am i like this?

i run my hands through my hair, making sure it’s volumized, and heave out a sigh before i make my way back out of the restroom to join the table again.

on my way back, i can’t help but smile at the sight of Jack laughing with his friends.

he seems so carefree.

but i should’ve been watching where i was going, because halfway to the table, i’m tripping over someone’s heeled foot, landing on my knee on the hard ground.

“oh shit!” Jack’s voice echoes over the loudness of the music and bar-goers, and i can hear multiple chairs screech across the floor. “y/n, are you okay?”

oh god, i wanna curl up and die.

“yeah, i’m fine.” my voice is wavering and weak, so over making an idiot of myself tonight.

Jack appears in front of me, holding his hands out to help me up. his skin is soft as i slide my hands into his, allowing him to pull me up to my feet.

his friends stand behind him, a couple biting back laughs, but the others wide eyed in concern.

i let Jack guide me back to the table, and when i sit down, he’s kneeling in front of me, inspecting my knee for any immediate bruising or marks.

i sigh and he looks up at me, worry settled into his expression.

“that was a hell of a tumble.” Timo snickers, but he sobers up quickly as his eyes meet Jack’s, “you’re okay though, right?”

“physically? yes. mentally? questionable.” the table laughs, but i didn’t mean to joke, which only makes me press my lips together.

Jack finally deems my knee okay, settling back into his seat and letting his arm rest over the back of my chair.

“what were we talking about?” Jack asks, effectively diverting the attention away from my fall and back to the conversation from while i was gone.

“cheating.” John states, taking a sip from his beer.

i let out a little laugh, thinking he was just joking, but i sober up as i realize nobody else is.

“oh, you were serious.” i bite my lip as he nods.

“right!” Luke exclaims, “so people are saying he cheated on her?”

“yeah,” Dawson nods, and i’m a bit lost, “which i don’t understand, because all he did was hold hands with the other girl. we don’t know anything other than that. holding hands could have so many different meanings.”

i take a big gulp of my drink, listening intently as the guys debate cheating and what counts as cheating.

“i think, if one of you guys cheated on your girlfriend, i might ‘accidentally’ knock your teeth out on the ice.” Nico tells them, making the guys and i laugh. “i’m serious, you’d be bag skating until you physically drop from exhaustion.”

and like word vomit, before i can stop myself, i’m speaking, “my friend recently cheated on her boyfriend, and i can’t tell if i should tell him or let him find out on his own.”

their heads turn to me and i shrink in my seat as i realize what just escaped my lips.

“oh my god, i’m not supposed to be telling that to anyone.” my hand covers my mouth, and a few of the guys laugh at my actions.

“you should definitely tell him.” John shrugs, “he deserves to know.”

“i thought so too, but if i do tell him, does that make me a horrible friend?” the guys all start shouting different things along the same lines.

some telling me it doesn’t make me a bad friend, while others telling me that i shouldn’t be friends with her anymore anyways.

“has she done anything else?” Luke asks, and i scrunch my nose.

“cheating wise, no: just one drunken kiss with some guy.” i start. “but she told him she was sick to get out of meeting his parents.”

i clap my hand over my mouth again, shocked that these secrets are just tumbling out of me.

“fuck, i shouldn’t be telling you guys these things.”

the guys cackle and Dawson changes the subject, apparently just remembering a story of something that happened to him back home over the summer.

i remain quiet for the next fifteen or so minutes, just listening as the guys go back and forth, telling stories of their summers, until i feel Jack’s hand on my shoulder.

“hey, i’m heading home, do you want me to drop you off at your house?”

i eagerly accept his offer, happily willing to leave now and avoid paying for an uber during surge pricing. the both of us bid goodbye to his teammates and his brother, who says he’ll hitch a ride back to the apartment with Dawson, before we head out to his car.

i smile as he opens the car door for me, allowing me to climb in before he shuts the door again and jogs around the front of the car, slipping into the drivers side.

i don’t need to give him my address, our second date having been at my apartment, so i just clasp my hands tightly together in my lap, both of his on his steering wheel.

“i had fun tonight.” he tells me as we pull up to my apartment building.

“yeah, your friends are nice.”

not a complete lie. they are nice, i’m just not sure i got along with them, or more so, that they liked me.

“can i walk you up?” i accept his request and he exits the car, running around it to open my door before i get the chance to.

i mentally prepare myself on the silent elevator up to my apartment, readying myself to have him tell me that he doesn’t think we fit.

i was awkward tonight, breaking a glass, stumbling over my words, tripping, googling things that should be common knowledge, and telling secrets i had no business telling.

i couldn’t think of any worse ways to ruin a potential relationship.

when we reach my apartment, Jack stops me in front of my door, and before he gets the chance to belittle my dignity any further than i, myself, already have, i’m speaking up.

“i completely understand if you don’t wanna continue this.” i sigh, finding sudden interest in my shoes. “i made a complete fool of myself tonight.”

“why would you think i don’t wanna see you again?” he sounds hurt, his finger hooking under my chin and pulling my head up to look at him.

i chuckle lowly, “you can’t take me anywhere. every time i go out, it’s social suicide.”

“so you’re a bit clumsy and you need time to click with my friends and their humor, so what?” he shrugs, “i think you’re cute. and i’m incredibly honored that you wanted to flirt with me.”

i groan, my face flushing, and i tip my head back to look up at the ceiling.

“oh god, that was so embarrassing.” i whine.

“it was sweet.” Jack chuckles, pulling me into his chest. his arms wrap around me and i melt into his embrace, his chin resting on top of my head.

“i really like you, y/n. and tonight may not have gone the way you would’ve liked, and i can respect that, you’re allowed to feel that way, but i really liked it. i got a chance to figure out more about you and what you’re like, and it only solidified that i’d really like to keep getting to know you, see where this could lead.”

my head snaps up to look him in the eyes, “you would?”

he giggles at my actions, nodding his head. “yeah, i would.”

his head dips down and i suck in a breath as his lips near mine.

“can i kiss you?” he questions, and i nod.

“yes, please.”

his lips slot against mine, moving in sync and pulling me even closer to him if it’s possible. his hands slide up to cup the back of my neck, his tongue tracing my bottom lip and i part my lips to allow him entrance.

what starts slow and passionate, turns into something hot and heavy. i huff as he pulls away, my lips chasing after his and making him smile.

“do you wanna come inside?” i ask him, my voice low and sultry, and his eyes darken almost instantly.

he smirks, answering only by taking my keys from my hands and unlocking my door, leading me into my own apartment.

“ya know, i don’t think you needed that google search. you’re pretty good at luring me in all on your own.”

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

HBCU CONFESSIONS.

Part Four

One entire month.

Valencia wanted nothing to do with Erik. He had come to terms with that after many failed attempts at trying to talk to her. She blocked him, she hadn’t been active on the blog in weeks since her last message, and every time he would see her around campus or in the dorms, she would turn a blind eye or walk in the opposite direction. She even stopped studying in the library to avoid him. And the thing is, she didn’t look sad, hurt, or angry. She walked around campus with a pep in her step and she smiled brightly.

Moving on wasn’t hard for her apparently. Erik can respect that. He fucked up, even if he hadn’t intended to. He didn’t plan on rekindling anything with Jeanette. EVER. At D9 parties, it’s a routine to get a sexy dance from a SOROR, but Erik didn’t expect to be the chosen one. She hopped up in his arms and locked her legs around him in a vice grip. His brothers circled him and cheered him on. Erik dropped her and she went in for a kiss. Valencia was gone within two seconds.

She hadn’t seen the part where Erik laid into Jeanette’s ass about that. Everyone thought it was hilarious. He was pissed. The dancing, he could have told her no, which he knows he fucked up on, but that kiss was unexpected and DEFINITELY not what he wanted. He apologized many times, tried speaking to her in person, and even asked her roommate, Brielle, to relay a message to her. Her socials were private and she didn’t accept outside messages from people she didn’t follow.

He wasn’t going to invade her personal space and corner her. She wanted to be left alone, he’ll give her that. No more texts, no more blog messages, no more trying to talk to her in person. He wished her well although he still really liked her. He really wanted another shot. But it would take a lot of work because Valencia would not let up. Erik respected that. He loved it actually. Maybe he needed the wake up call. He’s so used to things being easy. Nothing challenged him. But this? She wouldn’t budge.

After an exhausting class, Erik decided to make a stop at Andrea’s office and get some insight from his friend. On his way there, James was leaving her office. He was in the middle of fixing his tie and looking really sneaky. Erik snorted and shook his head. It was obvious what they were doing in there. James turned towards Erik’s direction and he smiled. They dabbed and bro hugged.

“You lookin’ stressed, my nigga. What’s good?” James questions with a chuckle.

“Lady trouble,” Erik replied with a monotone voice.

“You? Lady trouble? Since when?”

“Since now, fool.”

James didn’t believe that for a second.

“Not Mr. Suave himself. Listen,” James clapped Erik on the shoulder, “Whoever it is, she’ll come around, bruh.”

“I can never take you serious, Yo’” Erik shakes his head with a smirk, “Drea still in there? Should I giver her some time or?”

Erik jokingly pointed to the door causing James to crack up.

“Knock first.”

James backed away, saluting Erik before making his way down the hall.

“Come in!”

Erik twisted the knob and peeked his head around the door cautiously.

“Is it safe to enter, or do you still need some time?”

“Erik!”

He laughed before opening the door further. Andrea was in the middle of fluffing her voluminous hair into a ponytail. She cut her eyes at Erik and gave him a look. He sauntered over to her desk, pulled out the chair, and proceeded to take a seat while cuffing the crotch of his slim fit slacks.

“What can I do for you, best friend?”

Andrea folded her hands on her desk, tapping into her professor energy.

“I figured I could come to you for some advice. Before we get into that though,” Erik sat back in his seat, folded his arms across his sturdy chest, and arched a brow, “I see things are moving along with you and Jay.”

“They are,” Andrea cleared her throat, “Rather nicely actually…”

“And all that worrying was for nothing. I told you it would work out, girl.”

“Thank you for being so supportive!” Andrea replied with an overzealous tone, “Enough about me. What’s going on?”

“…Valencia.”

Andrea sat up straighter. A smile slowly crept up her face.

“I know that you know that I KNOW,” Erik pointed his finger like Denzel, “who my crush is.”

Andrea chuckles, “Of course I know. Don’t I use the blog too? I saw what she sent weeks ago…”

Erik propped his elbows up on her desk.

“Tell me I fucked up.” Erik said.

“You fucked up. And Jeanette is a fucking nuisance.”

Erik exhaled, “The car wash is tomorrow afternoon. She’s gonna be there—”

“Then tell that ho to leave you alone, Erik! You know it’s harder for me to get buck because I work here and I can lose my job, but she needs a reality check. I mean…did you want to get back with her?—”

“Hell nah. I wasn’t expecting all of that. I’m interested in Valencia. I wanna make it right so we can continue getting to know each other.”

Andrea raised both of her brows and grabbed her drink tumbler, sipping her tea. Erik gave her a strange look.

“And yet you allowed that girl to throw herself all over you in front of her.”

“I didn’t allow—okay, okay…I should have been more proactive in stopping her. I see that now. What should I do?”

Erik was desperate. If nothing else worked, he would leave her be for good this time. He was tired of the mental turmoil. One second he wants to leave her be, next second he’s trying to figure out how to win her back. This shit was driving him crazy. He had this on top of school to worry about.

“You’re known to be that guy, right? And you’re such a romantic, right? Romanticize her. Do it for everyone to see. Be your most vulnerable self. Show her that you will do anything to get her back.”

Erik drummed his fingers against her desk and twisted his thick lips in deep thought.

“…All I’m saying is, she’s a really nice girl. She’s such a sweetie pie. She didn’t deserve that mess. Do whatever you gotta do, Daka, seriously. I like you with her,” Andrea smiles, “I want this to actually work.”

Erik bowed his head and smiled. Even that knowledge made him feel like complete shit. Even after she told him how she’d been mistreated in past relationships. Andrea was right, he needed to go all out with his approach to this.

_______

It’s an abnormally hot day, the sun beating down on all those melanated bodies in the parking lot. Erik makes his way over to his group, shirtless and wearing athletic shorts that showed off his muscular legs. He wore Adidas slides on his feet, polarized aviator sunglasses, and purple paint streaks beneath his eyes like a proud Que Dog. Three Omega branded scars were on his right bicep.

His chest and toned stomach with skin golden brown made the gold chain hanging around his neck pop. Throwing up the hooks in greeting, his Bruhz handed him a bucket full of sudsy water and a sponge. Today was the yearly charity carwash. They hosted the event at a local lot in Houston and booked a DJ, grilled food, and offered pouch drinks. All sororities and fraternities from TSU banned together. The turnout was always big, and cars were already lining up.

"Where the hell is Isaiah?" Erik protests.

A fellow Omega, Travis, shrugged his shoulders.

"He already in hot water with the shit that happened last weekend. He keep this shit up, he's getting cut."

Erik slaps hands with all his boys, even men from other fraternaties, grinning excitedly to be at the function. Just then, Isaiah came strolling over wearing nothing but purple basketball shorts, his Nike slides on his feet with a gold fanny pack with his letters on it hanging loosely across his chest. He had a crisp line-up and all like he'd just gotten out of the barber chair.

Erik inclines his head, pulling his sunglasses off and approaching the neophyte, "You're late, Static. Get your narrow ass over there and help those cars."

Erik shoved the soapy bucket and sponge in his hands.

"Chill, Poet, I had to grab some supporters," Isaiah tilts his head and jerks his thumb behind him, a group of pretty women in a neon green Jeep Wrangler waving over at them from their open window. They honked their horn and shook their titties at them.

"Hi, Poet! you lookin' real good!" One of the girls shouted.

Erik couldn't help that he was good-looking. He's a tall man with caramel skin that was a shade darker due to the southern heat. His athletic shorts hung low off of his hips and gave anybody that looked hard enough a preview of what was beneath. He was a walking thirst-trapper.

"See? they want you, Poet," Isaiah slapped his chest with the back of his hand, "I'm lookin' out for you."

Erik put his shades back on and walked away, Isaiah throwing his hands up.

Andrea and her line sisters were wearing fitted tanktops with their soro colors and letters on it. They had black biker shorts on and different types of black sandals. The Zetas wore their soro t-shirts and little denim shorts. Majority of the ladies were mostly covered up but when the AKAs arrived, it was a scene straight from ATL. Bikini tops and booty shorts. Andrea shared a look with her sisters and rolled her eyes. It was known for the AKAs to pop out and do the most, which made them the popular ones. Jeanette wore a pink bikini with her bundles in a ponytail covered with an AKA trucker hat.

Erik locked eyes with her through his sunglasses and Jeanette blew a kiss at him. Ignoring her, Erik jumps in to help, motioning for the next car to pull up. A middle-aged black woman with her toddler in the backset gave Erik heart eyes out of the window of her Honda Odyssey. Erik gave her a smirk, sponge and bucket in his hands.

"How much to clean my whip, handsome?"

"Twenty dollars, ma'am."

"Here you go..."

The lady boldly slipped the twenty in Erik's waistband. He shakes his head, Ignoring the laughter from everybody who caught that. He placed the money in a collection bucket before cleaning her car off.

"Get it extra clean for me baby!" She shouted with a wide smile.

While Erik cleaned, a Zeta walked over offering free water and the option to park and grab some cookout food or a mixed drink pouch. Erik grabbed the hose when he was finished and the woman rolled up her windows so he could rinse it down. When he was done, his shorts were soaked. He knew that it was only a matter of time before his big boy made an appearance. The woman drove off and Erik motioned for the next car. Erik spotted Isaiah running game so he whistled, Isaiah turning in his direction.

"Static, you better get to work boy! making your brothers look bad! us Nupe's are known for being clean!" A Kappa brother teased.

"Nah, G, we ain't letting a dirty dawg show us up! Poet! you better get yah boy in line! making ya'll look worse than he already did!"

Erik shot a pointed look at Isaiah. Isaiah walked over and got back to work, motioning for an all-black, 2019 Ford Focus to pull forward. Meanwhile, Erik took a water break and after drinking it all down, he used the hose on mist to spray his body. He could feel eyes on him and when he looked up, Jeanette was eye-fucking him while sucking on a Bomb Pop, the cherry lime of the popsicle dripping to her chest from her sloppy slurping. She made her way over and Erik shot a glance at Andrea.

"This is the first time in weeks that I've been this close to you," Jeanette licked her popsicle, "You avoiding me again?"

Erik threw a towel over his shoulder and shut his eyes before opening them to stare down at Jeanette.

"You're not still upset about that kiss are you?"

"I am. Because you don't know when to chill the fuck out." Erik argued.

He walked around her and Jeanette marched right after him. He waved his hand for a car to pull forward and they rolled their window down. The driver handed Erik some money and he placed it in his pocket before cleaning the car off.

"You act like what we had wasn't real! you said so yourself that we could make it work again. Or did you forget?!"

Erik agressively scrubbed the car, his annoyance towards Jeanette growing, "I never said that shit to you. You wasn't thinking about none of that with that nigga dick in your mouth." Erik quipped.

Jeanette and the driver had to look at Erik in disbelief that he even said that. Jeanette was so shocked that she dropped her popsicle. Erik continued cleaning the car like he didn’t just say what he said.

“Fuck you! I wasn’t going to wait around, Erik! Don’t act like you weren’t doing whatever it was you were doing!”

“I wasn’t though,” Erik glanced back at her over his sweaty shoulder, “Look, I’m not doing this with you. Why don’t you pitch in and help.”

Jeanette was fuming. She stomped away, grabbing the water hose out of a soro’s hand, turning it on the highest pressure before spraying Erik in his back. He flinched and dropped the bucket and sponge. He turned to her with rage. That was painful, especially since he hadn’t expected it.

“THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, GIRL!”

Erik really wanted to call her a bitch but he had to bite his tongue. She laughed right alongside her AKA sisters. Others snickered and laughed as well, not fully comprehending that Erik was seriously angry.

“What? You deserved it, Erik!” Jeanette yelled.

Erik grabbed an extra hose and sprayed the car down. He shook his head and flared his nostrils, heart thumping in his chest. When he finished, he walked over to Andrea and the other Deltas. She met him halfway and he turned for her to examine his back. The water hoses were attached to a fire hydrant. She could see that the middle of his back was bright red and irritated. James strolled over to look as well.

“You good, E?” James questioned.

“Jeanette is doing too fucking much. Look at her.”

Three pairs of eyes fell on Jeanette twerking on the hood of some guys car. It worked, because he gave her fifty dollars instead of twenty.

“I’ll be aight. She just needs to stay far the fuck away from me.” Erik spoke angrily.

“I’m here if you need me,” Andrea said.

Erik walked away and picked up his sponge and bucket. After refilling the bucket, he made his way back over. He kept cutting his eyes at Jeanette. He wanted his lick back for that. So much for ignoring her. Taking the bucket, while her back was turned, Erik dumped it over her head. She screeched and flailed her arms.

“OH MY GOD!!!! MY HAIR!!!!!”

Jeanette snatched her hat off and rubbed soap from her face. She turned a rageful gaze towards Erik and he laughed in her face. Laughter echoed across the lot.

“You started it!”

“Awww! Now you’re mad!”

“Get her ass, Poet!”

She pushed Erik and stormed past him to grab a towel. He made a crybaby motion with his hands as if he were rubbing his eyes. Some of her AKA sisters rushed to her aid and they didn’t hesitate to shoot Erik dirty looks. That’ll teach her ass not to fuck with him again. Erik refilled his bucket with a smirk on his face as he watched Jeanette drying her weave. She noticed and gave him the finger. Erik returned the gesture.

Some time went by, everyone working hard and raising money. The next car, Isaiah motioned to pull in and when they did, he recognized them and spoke their name. Erik heard and his head whipped in that direction so fast he could have twisted his neck. His once sour mood was no replaced with anticipation.

“Valencia, what’s up girl?”

Valencia was sitting in the passenger side of Brielle’s white 2019 Nissan Altima. Skai and Cindy were in the backseat. Brielle was wearing a yellow tube dress and her braids down and flipped to the side. She accessorized with octagon-shaped silver hoops and Y2K shades with butterflies.

“Hello,” She gave him a wave before passing him a twenty, “This is my donation.”

Brielle, Skai, and Cindy handed over their money.

“You ladies wanna stick around for some good vibes? Just pull in after I’m done.” Isaiah said.

“Will do. It looks lit out here,” Brielle looked around with a smile.

Isaiah couldn’t stop staring at Valencia. She glanced up at him with a straight face.

“Aren’t you gonna clean the car?” She questioned.

“Yeah but I’m tryna see what’s up—”

“STATIC!”

All four ladies and Isaiah followed their gaze towards the source of the shouting. Erik walked over with his usual gait. He paused in front of Isaiah and pointed to the car behind them.

“Get yo’ ass back there and clean that Jeep pulling in.” Erik ordered.

Isaiah kissed his teeth but before he walked away, he grabbed Valencia’s hand that was dangling out of the car window, kissing it before giving it an affectionate squeeze. She jerked her hand away, staring at him with her nose turned up.

“I love it when you play hard to get, girl!”

Erik put the sponge in the bucket and placed his hand on the hood of the car, leaning in towards the open window to peek inside. He still had his shades on, so Valencia was staring at her reflection through the lenses. She looked visibly tense, toying with her hair and jerking her leg.

“How’s everything, ladies?”

“They all said ‘good’ in unison, all except for Valencia. Erik caught Brielle trying to be discreet with bumping Valencia with her arm. Valencia shifted in her seat.

“…I’m doing great, you?”

This was the most she’d said to him in a month. He parted his lips but no words came out. Erik furrowed his brows and cleared his throat.

“I’m good. Been busy…”

He tapped the hood of the car. If only she were alone.

“…Are you gonna clean us off?�� Brielle asked.

The awkward tension between them was palpable.

“Yeah, I gotchu, arms in and roll up the windows tight.”

They did as they were told, Valencia and Erik staring each other down. He went to work sudsing up the sponge and then he started with the back of the car first. He then moved onto the hood of the car, taking his time to get every spot. He walked around to the drivers side to clean the front and back doors and windows, and then he made his way around to the passenger side. Erik scrubbed the back down, then he was right at Valencia’s window again.

She focused her eyes forward while he cleaned but when he made it to the front window, Erik watched as her eyes scanned his body. He titled his head towards her, licked his lips, and flashed her a grin. She quickly averted her gaze to her lap and Brielle’s eyebrows disappeared behind her curly ginger bag. Skai and Cindy were giggling in the backseat. Erik retrieved the hose and started spraying the car down. He stood at the front of the car again, smirking at her through the window.

Erik walked over to Valencia’s side when he finished and Brielle eagerly rolled the window down. Valencia shot her a look and then she turned her attention to Erik who was leaning into the window. Valencia inhaled slowly and then exhaled a shaky breath. Removing his sunglasses, Erik kept his gaze pointed at Valencia. Now, she had no other choice but to look him directly in the eyes.

“…Got you ladies all cleaned up. Why don’t ya’ll stick around for a while? Grab some food, dance a little…”

He was really asking Valencia.

“Oh, we will. Right V?” Skai said.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Brielle replied, fighting the urge to laugh.

Erik waited anxiously for her to speak.

“…sure. We’ll hang out for a little while.” Valencia said.

“Bet. Say less…”

Erik stood at his full height, his lower half in her face. He slowly backed away and Brielle pulled off.

——————

They’d just finished the last few cars and by then the lot was filled with people having a good time. Erik slipped on a cropped golden yellow muscle tee that had Omega Psi Phi printed on the front in purple letters and the fraternity logo in the center. He sipped from a Blue Raspberry drink pouch that had some Hipnotic in it. He took pictures with his bruh’s and other fraternity buddies as well as the ladies

Valencia was leaning against the side of Brielle’s car, drinking a watermelon mixed drink. Erik kept looking over at her, wanting to approach her badly. Jeanette hadn’t bothered him since the hose incident and he was grateful. They were too busy putting on a performance, doing an AKA stroll to entertain people. Like clock work, Isaiah approached Valencia to talk to her and Erik noticed that he had one too many drinks. He kept grabbing Valencia’s arm and Erik could tell that she wasn’t asking for any of that attention.

Erik jogged over and yoked Isaiah up by the collar of his T-shirt. Valencia looked up at Erik with wide eyes. Others started paying attention as well.

“The fuck you doin’, Static?” Erik barked out.

“We were just talking, right, Valencia?”

Isaiah looked at her expectantly. She cut her eyes at him to Erik and then Valencia shoves him out of her way before storming off. Erik let go of Isaiah and pushed him back, causing him to stumble.

“Yo, what the fuck is your problem, Erik?!” Isaiah questioned with frustration.

“You don’t know what no means, nigga? And how much have you been drinking?”

“I only had two drinks, relax. You got a thing for Valencia or something? Every time I try and talk to her, here you come cock-blocking.” Isaiah fired back.

A few Bruhz came over to see what was going on.

“All good?”

“It’s cool. Poet can’t stand it when it ain’t all about him, that’s all,” Isaiah jokes.

Erik cut his eyes at Isaiah, one of their brothers clapping him on the shoulder to calm him down. He tried to get Erik riled up with some barking and goofing around and Erik gave in. The party continued and then the sky turned a deep orange. Erik could see Valencia walking towards a trash can to throw away her plate. It was now or never. Erik walked over towards her with his hands in his pockets and before she could walk away, he took a hold of her hand and she looked up at him.

“Valencia, can we talk? Please?”

“No, Erik—”

“I’m sorry, okay? Look,” Erik let go of her hand, “I know that I fucked up. I should have stopped her from jumping on me like that. The kiss—you ran away so fast you didn’t see how pissed I was that she kissed me. I don’t want her…I wasn’t planning on rekindling anything with Jeanette…”

Valencia looked down at her feet. She kicked at the ground with her arms folded. She finally looked up at him, her eyes searching his. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and feel those lips again. She looked so damn sexy in that dress.

“Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to come thru at Poetry Live tonight? I’m gonna recite some new shit and…I’d really like to see you there. Will you think about it?”

Erik tilted his head down at her. She pondered, her cafe noir eyes looking heavenward. Valencia exhaled, staring up at Erik through her lashes. He waited with bated breath. She parted her full lips to speak.

“I’ll be there.”

Erik cracked a dimpled smile. Valencia gave him a small smile and then a quick once-over before walking away. Erik made it back to his group and he spotted Valencia and her friends leaving. It was definitely a step into the right direction. Erik was happy about that. Andrea made her way over to him with a knowing smile.

“I saw that, Daka. So, is she coming?”

“She’ll be there. I’m a lil’ nervous. Not gonna lie.”

Andrea laughed, “you got this!”

“I just wanna make it right. I want us to get back to how things were, you know? I was just getting to know her in so many ways…”

Erik cut his eyes at Andrea and she stared at him with her mouth agape.

“I BET,” Andrea rolls her eyes.

After another hour, they started to shut things down and it took them another hour to make sure everything was cleaned up before heading out. Erik was exhausted with no time to get rest since he had to get ready for tonight. He made it back to his RA dorm with a sweaty body and tired limbs. Dropping his gym bag onto the floor, he grabbed his towel, rag, soap, and a fresh pair of briefs with a pair of basketball shorts.

In the showers, he cleaned himself off good, thinking about the night to come. Valencia was going to be there, and he hoped that she would give him a second chance. After rinsing off the second round of soap, Erik pat dried his skin and before he exited the shower, he slipped on his briefs and shorts. Towel over his shoulder, he exited the bathroom and made his way down the hall to his room which was a short distance away.

Back inside, he shut his door and turned on some music to get ready to. He took off his shorts and opened his closet to grab an outfit he planned to wear.

Ping.

Erik paused.

That sound could only be from one thing. He took long strides to his lap top on his desk and pulled out the chair. He touched the mouse pad to wake his lap top screen up and then he went straight for Tumblr. There, he clicked on his message thread and his eyes scanned back and forth, reading the words.

ebonygoddess1990s: I know it’s been a while. I’ve gone an entire month not speaking to him. Today I spoke to him for the first time and it reminded me of what happened at that D9 party. He asked me to come to Poetry Live tonight and I’m a little nervous. A part of me wants to forgive him, but the other part of me has trust issues. What should I do?

Erik for the first time didn’t know what to say. He didn’t feel right messaging her. He could simply persuade her into forgiving him, but then that would be manipulation. He slowly closed his laptop and stood up from his seat at the desk.

He was going to make it right as authentically as possible.

————

“How do I look?”

“Girl…you look damn good.”

Brielle snapped her fingers while Valencia did a turn. She was all dressed up herself in a denim dress with platform chunky brown heels and her big, curly ginger hair styled in two Afro puffs.

“He’s gonna love it.” Brielle said.

“…this isn’t for him, it’s for me.”

Brielle rolls her eyes at the ceiling, “Right. Sure.”

They grab their bags and then head out of the dorm room. Skai was going to drive tonight. Cindy and her were waiting in the car. They left the dorms and headed towards the parking lot. There, they spotted Skai and she was talking to Dior. Valencia’s footsteps slowed down and she instantly grew defensive. Brielle looked at her with an equally angry expression.

“Let me go, I’ll see you there…”

Dior looked at Valencia.

“Brielle,” She touched her arm, “Valencia—”

Valencia smacked her hand away. Hard. Dior raised up on her and Brielle leaped between them.

“Let’s get going! Right, Val?” Brielle pleaded.

Brielle looked over at Skai for help. Skai walked towards them and grabbed Dior by the arm.

“Yeah, let me go before I drag this bitch all over the parking lot!” Valencia shouted after Dior.

Dior yanked her arm out of Skai’s grip.

“Awww still mad your crush doesn’t want you?”

“Dior!” Skai yelled, “Chill out!”

Dior put her hands up, “I’m chill. She’s the one that put her fucking hands on me.”

“I should have been put my hands on you!!!!” Valencia screamed.

“THEN WHAT’S GOOD?!” Dior screamed back.

“Just go, Dior,” Skai moved her towards her car.

“I’m going. Just as long as she stays over there.”

Dior backed away to her car with a big grin on her face. There was a girl in passenger seat, laughing at the entire thing. Dior got in her car and drove off. Valencia took meditating breaths while Brielle tried to calm her down.

“She pulled up to my car to talk, Valencia. I wasn’t trying to start trouble,” Skai spoke to her defense.

Brielle ignored Skai. She loved her friend but if she was going to keep being friends with Skai knowing that she didn’t like Valencia and was probably talking shit about her, she had to cut her off too. They all got back into the car, Cindy rubbing Valencia’s shoulder.

She just wanted to have a good night. Megan Thee Stallion Cognac Queen came one and Valencia started rapping the lyrics. She wasn’t going to let that dumb bitch ruin her night.

Her makeup looked good, her outfit is sexy, she felt the hottest she’s ever felt. She felt great. She rolled her window down and as the air whipped across her face, she couldn’t get Erik off of her mind. Valencia couldn’t help but smile to herself. He looked extra scrumptious today. The effort he took into winning her back made her feel good. She wanted him to know that she could easily forget about him and move on.

Erik still tried. This man could have any woman on campus, hell, even his crazy ex girlfriend, and yet he didn’t want her or anyone else but Valencia. She couldn’t control the butterflies. It’s been a month too long. She could only hope that tonight would go right.

“We’re here.”

It was a huge turnout. Brielle parked and they all stepped out. From the outside looking in, Poetry Live was packed like sardines.

“Please tell me Russ saved a table for us,” Cindy said.

“I hope so, because I am not standing.” Brielle said.

They were carded at the door and when they were in the clear, all four of them walked inside. Cindy took the lead, searching the crowded room until she pointed towards a round table with a great view of the stage. They squeezed through people dancing and having a good time with drinks in their hands. Cindy wrapped her arms around her boyfriend’s shoulders and went in for a kiss. Valencia sat her bag on the table and looked around. As she scanned the room, her eyes fell on Erik, sitting at a table with Andrea, James, and a few of their friends.

Valencia’s eyes scanned his body from head to toe. He had a fresh retwist and he was dressed nice with a layered gold chains hanging from his neck and black diamond earrings in his ears. He didn’t have his glasses on tonight, so Valencia could see his onyx eyes more clearly beneath the lights. She shifted in her seat and fiddled with the strap of her bag when he finally looked over at her. They locked eyes and then a slow smirk crept up his lips. She felt hot all over. He waved to her and Valencia returned the gesture. He checked her out from across the room and with an appreciative nod, he mouthed ‘you look amazing’.

Valencia blushes and mouthed ‘thank you’ in response. She reluctantly pulled her gaze away and released a shaky breath. He always makes her so flustered.

“Everyone looks so nice tonight like it’s a special occasion!” Brielle said with a sonorous tone.

“I know! We need drinks!” Cindy declared ecstatically.

“I second that,” Valencia fanned herself.

Their waiter returned and they put their orders in. Valencia looked around the room again and in a booth seat, Jeanette and Dior sat surrounded by their AKA sisters. They were dancing and causing a scene since they needed to be the center of attention at all times.

“SKEE-WEE!!! SKEE-WEE!!!!”

A few Zetas threw up kitty hand signs, Deltas threw up triangles, Sigmas threw up three fingers with their thumb and ring finger down.

Their drinks came and Valencia automatically took sips of her Long Island Iced Tea. She couldn’t stop herself from looking over at Erik’s table again and he was stomping around like a proud Que with his Bruhz Valencia giggled at Erik’s mug. He settled back in his seat and took a sip of his drink.

After some time, the lights in the room went dim and a spot light hit the stage. It was a spotlight with a purple hue. Valencia was nursing her second drink, taking careful sips so she wouldn’t get drunk too fast. She was too busy turning up with her friends to notice that Erik himself took the stage. He walked up to the mic apprehensively, grabbing the pole with one hand while adjusting the mic with his other. The sound of the mic caused everyone to turn their attention towards him.

Valencia looked at him and her smile disappeared from her face and in its place was a nervous look. Erik’s presence on that stage commanded the room to silence. The only sound being that of Usher Dot Com instrumental. Valencia scanned the room, and then her eyes looked towards the stage again.

“Hello…hello…hello. I’m sure most of you know me but I’m gonna introduce myself anyway. My name is Erik. My friends call me E, Daka—that’s short for my middle name, N’Jadaka, and Poet. Uhm,” he placed his hands in his pockets, “It’s been years since I’ve been on this stage. Tonight I have some new shit,” Erik chuckles nervously, taking one hand out of his pocket to run over his locs, “This is for you, Valencia.”

Valencia’s eyes went round like saucers. Her eyebrows shot up as she looked around the table at her friends, all of which were staring back at her with big goofy smiles. One by one, they each pulled a rose from beneath the table and handed it to her. Valencia clutched her chest, the roses placed in front of her on the table rendering her speechless. Others stood from their tables and walked over, handing her red roses painted with glitter.

“W—What?” She accepted another rose, “I can’t believe…”

After the last person, Andrea, handed her a rose. Valencia had a full bouquet in her hand. She wanted to cry. This was the most beautiful thing a guy has ever done for her. And it wasn’t over. She looked up at Erik with glossy eyes. He smirked at her and gave her a wink.

Valencia…

I'm sorry for what I've done

I'm sorry for who I've been

Sorry for where its gone

So sorry to lose a friend

I’m sorry I kiss your plump lips in my sleep

So sorry I can’t get you off my mind

As I lose myself and find myself

I’m sorry if I wonder do I ever cross your mind

So hypnotizing…

Your soft voice and bashfully beautiful gaze

I’m sorry we’re apart

I’m not sorry I’m falling for you though

Forgive me if I can’t help that I want you

Forgive me…

If I stumble and fall.

Too clumsy…and my words do not form as I wish

So let me kiss you and let my lips paint for you

All that I feel in my heart.

Let my hands touch again…and my mouth again…

Erik paused. The suspense of his words blanketing the room. Valencia drew her bottom lip into her mouth. She could never…would never forget how his mouth felt on her pussy. Saying that on stage in front of everyone…

Every rose I gave to you

I hope brings a smile to you face

Inside each rose is a piece of my soul

So Valencia

I want your trust more than anything

Baby girl

It was a bad decision

And now I want you here

So please take me back

'Cause I need you right now

Vulnerable words from your Poet…

Erik backed away from the mic, and instead of snaps, everyone clapped. There was a standing ovation. Erik exited the stage and walked over to Valencia. She stood up and tears rolled down her cheeks. She opened her arms and Erik pulled her in for a tight hug. He pulled away and Valencia surprised with a kiss to the cheek. It didn’t matter if it was the lips or the cheek, he was happy as hell.

“This is so much—Erik, thank you,” Valencia blotched her eyes dry.

“Anything to put a smile on your face again,” Erik said.

————

Valencia returned to her dorm room with a smile and her bouquet of roses pressed against her chest tightly. That was the sweetest most sincere thing any guy has ever done for her. She liked Erik even more. Brielle decided to stay with Skai for the night and Valencia was grateful because she needed to process this alone. The fact that her friends even knew what was going to happen all this time and they didn’t give her a hint amazed her.

Valencia sat on her bed to take off her shoes. As she did, she looked at the selfies she took with Erik before she left. Her phone vibrated and she noticed it was a text from Erik. She unblocked him on the ride over. Valencia read his text and she instantly smiled.

Erik: care for a night swim?

Valencia knew that he would be texting her. He whispered to her that he planned to send her a text with a surprise later. So, he wanted to go swimming? Valencia smiled at her phone as she texted a reply.

Valencia: absolutely ☺️

Erik: Cool. I’ll meet you there. Bring a change of clothes 😈

Valencia shot up from bed and headed towards her closet. She opened a drawer that stored all of her bikinis and found an orange one. A pink body con, a thong, sandals, and a few pieces of jewelry went into a bag. She quickly undressed and put the bikini on with Erik’s hoodie on top. She slipped on a pair of slides and grabbed her bag, phone, and keys. She made her way over to the pool and when she got there, Erik was nowhere to be found. She shot him a quick text message outside of the entrance to the pool.

Valencia: Where are you?

Erik: One second

The door opened and Erik was dressed in a pair of blue swim shorts that hugged his thighs. He was shirtless and still rocking the gold chains. His locs were in his face, almost long enough to cover his eyes. He opened the door further and Valencia slipped inside. The luminescent swimming pool looked calm and lonesome. The blue hue created the same glow around them. The tiny ripples created a specular reflection across their bodies as they dress closer.

Placing her bag down, Valencia took off the hoodie and sat it on a bench. She stepped out of her slides and walked over towards Erik. His eyes roamed her body, and then he licked his lips. Valencia sat down on the edge of the pool and Erik joined her. Their feet slipped into the water and it felt warm. She turned to look at him before timidly avoiding his gaze to stare down at the water. Erik didn’t take his eyes off of her.

“That was beautiful, Erik.” Her voice echoed as she spoke.

“Thank you. It wasn’t my best but…It was definitely my most vulnerable.” Erik said.

“Well, I thought it was heartfelt and sweet. How the hell did you get everyone to go along with it?”

Erik laughs, “The car wash? I pretty much went around and asked every one if they wanted to participate. The roses were planted there beneath the tables.”

“Very clever,” Valencia giggles.

“I knew you weren’t gonna let me off the hook that easily, and for that…I thank you.”

Valencia looked up at him through her lashes.

“…I’m happy we can start off where we left off.” Erik said.

“Me too…I did miss you…I just….I have major trust issues.”

Erik shrugged, “I get it. You ain’t gotta explain that to me.”

Valencia tucked her chin and smiled.

“The water looks good,” Valencia stood up, “I’m getting in. Are you coming?”

“Yeah.”

She stepped into the pool from the ladder and backstroked towards the deep end. Erik swam over towards her, water splashing on Valencia. She giggled, splashing Erik back even though it wasn’t intentional that he got water in her face. Back and forth they played water tag.

“Okay! Stop!” Valencia shielded her face, “Truce!”

“You givin’ up that easily, girl?” Erik teases.

“Yes, I am. You’re stronger.” Valencia said.

“Am I?”

Erik swam over and picked Valencia up. She squealed before Erik tossed her playfully, Valencia going under. She reappeared, smoothing her braids from her face. Erik laughed at her attempt to glare at him. It was cute. They circled each other, staring each other down. Valencia broke the eye contact first. Erik inched closer. They paddled their arms and propelled their legs to stay afloat. Erik looked so delicious. Valencia couldn’t help but to reach up and smooth his locs back from his eyes.

“…You’re so handsome,” Valencia shyly looked at him.

“And you’re so beautiful.” Erik replied.

The sound of his voice bouncing off of the walls shot straight to her pussy.

“I want to kiss you…” Erik whispered.

Valencia turned away from Erik. He watched her go under, swimming away from him. Erik followed and took in a breath before going beneath the water. He swam, following her until she turned his way, still under water. She broke the surface and Erik was right there, centimeters away from her face. They stared into each other’s eyes and then Valencia’s back hit the edge of the pool. Erik trapped her there. Water dripped from his hair and made his lashes look wet and curled.

“…Can I kiss you?”

Valencia looked from his lips to his eyes. She slowly nodded her head and Erik closed the space between them, his lips crashing into hers desperately. He yearned for her lips. Erik grunted against her lips. Valencia opened up and Erik swiped his tongue across her teeth. Valencia draped her arms over his shoulders and Erik gripped the edge of the pool harder. His chest and crotch were pressed snuggly against Valencia’s body.

Their heads swiveled from left to right, tongues dancing, their lips moved together in a sloppy manner. It was hot, sexy, steamy, and passionate all at the same time. Valencia wrapped her thighs around Erik and he took that opportunity to pick her up. They moved towards the center of the pool and after sucking each other’s faces off for minutes, Erik came up for air. That didn’t stop him from kissing her. His lips were on her neck now.

“Mmmm,” Valencia moaned.

His lips kissed the tops of her breasts and between them. He looked her in the eyes while doing it. She knew what he wanted. Valencia slowly grabs one of Erik’s large hands and guides it to her bikini strings. He didn’t take his eyes off of hers as his fingers pulled, the top falling from her chest. Erik’s eyes dropped down to admire them. B-cup, perky, with perfect nipples and areolas. Deep brown and tasty.

“Damn, baby,” Erik whispered, “Fucking beautiful…”

His lips were on hers again and then he broke the kiss, lifting her up more so that her breasts were in his face practically. Staring up at her, Erik wrapped his thick lips around her left nipple and started sucking. That sensation was a tickle that went straight to her pussy. Her clit jumped, her inner thighs gripped him tighter, and her breathing became uneven.

Erik took his time sucking each nipple. They were so stiff and begging for attention. The sensation of his warm mouth and soft lips did that. She couldn’t watch him doing it anymore, it was too much. She instead moaned towards the ceiling with her eyes shut. Now, his tongue flicked her nipples. Valencia looked down with her beautiful mouth parted, tiny breaths of pleasure from between her lips. She loved that he took attention to her breasts. Her ex would suck a nipple for only ten seconds. Isaiah didn’t even care to do it.

Another box checked off her list.

“Erik…”

He lightly nibbled with his teeth on the tips of her nipples. She gripped his shoulders tightly. He dragged his tongue and lips all over her areolas like a starved man. Valencia couldn’t take it anymore. She tried to move her chest away from Erik’s mouth but he wouldn’t stop. Her body tensed up and she started to panic. What the hell was happening?

“Unh…Erik…uh—uh—uhhhhh—”

Her body trembles, as if the water ran cold. He pressed his face between her breasts and exhaled. Did she just experience an orgasm from nipple play? A wetness that didn’t come from the water made her pussy hot and sticky. Erik looked up at her with a smirk and Valencia couldn’t help but giggle.

“That was intense and out of my control.” she spoke breathlessly.

“Didn’t I tell you I can be your first of many things, beautiful?”

“Yes,” Valencia bites her lip. “Getting freaky in a pool is definitely something I’ve never done.”

“Hmm,” Erik brought her down so that they were face to face, “Getting your pussy ate pool side sounds amazing right now, don’t you think?”

Erik’s hand came down to sit between Valencia’s legs. He cupped her pussy in his hand over her bikini bottoms and slowly rubbed up and down. His thick digits applied pressure to her clit and he could feel her piercing. Valencia closed her eyes and parted her lips.

“Nah…look at me…”

She took her time opening her eyes. When she did, she was staring into Erik’s eyes.

“I still have those panties…”

She shuddered. Yes, her used thong from a month ago.

“They still smell amazing by the way.”

A sly smirk painted his thick lips. She looked away. She couldn’t believe this man still had them! That was the nastiest thing and she loved it.

“…what do you do with them?” Valencia asked with a small voice.

“Well…I sit them on my face and I just…beat my dick whenever I think about you…”

Her face grew hot and she shifted in his embrace but Erik made sure she didn’t move. His hand rubbing up and down felt so good. Valencia started circling her hips while his hand rubbed. He chuckled at her and that Que tongue teased her.

“I guess you can say I’m obsessed. I need a new pair to add to my collection…”

“What else are you obsessed with…sexually?”

Valencia had to chew on her bottom lip to control the tremors. He started rubbing her clit in a circle with his finger tips.

“I have fetishes and kinks…bondage…voyeurism…exhibitionism…toe-sucking…that’s just to name a few.”

Valencia is familiar with BDSM but she’d never experienced any of it. He has a foot fetish and that’s something she always found interesting. She’s very ticklish, so she hoped Erik wouldn’t do that to her. She wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“How about you?”

Valencia blinked away from him, “Uhm…well I do have some kinks for some things—I’ve never tried—it’s not as hot as yours though.”

Erik cocked his head. They floated towards the edge of the pool again and Erik sat her down. He stood between her legs and looked up at her eagerly.

“You can still tell me,” Erik said with a reassuring voice.

“…okay…I consider myself to be a size queen.”

Erik lifted a single brow.

“Do you know what that means—”

“I do. You prefer big dicks. Bigger than average dicks.”

It was the way he said that. Valencia couldn’t look him in the eye after that. Erik laughs.

“Sexual partners with bigger dicks…coming from you, that’s…not what I expected.”

“What did you expect then?”

“DD/LG. Sex talk…you know size queens take dick, right?”

Erik emphasized dick strongly.

“I know,” Valencia looked away shyly.

“Aight,” Erik smiled playfully at her, “What else?”

“…I feel like I have an oral fixation…”

“Me too. I definitely do,” Erik chuckled.

He reached up to stroke between her legs. She shut her thighs and trapped his hand there.

“Spread your legs, Valencia…”

She did as she was told.

“Bring your feet up and open wider…”

She leaned back and carefully brought her legs up one-by-one. Her pussy was sitting phat between her legs from that position. Erik got closer, taking his thick fingers to push her panties to the side. What he saw blew his mind. Her wetness had a slimy consistency to it that connected to her bikini bottom. She was ready for some dick and his mouth. He used his thumb to peel back her outer lip and the more he did, the more it leaked.

“Fuck…you should see this…you’re so fucking wet, girl…”

Valencia scooted her hips towards the edge and Erik used his tongue to swipe between her outer lips. Valencia placed a hand on the back of his head. He was slurping and sucking at the same time. Anything to get all of that tasty stuff in his mouth. He flicked his tongue up between her folds and the sensation caused her clit to ache in the best way.

“Yes…mmm…Erik, that feels so good…I missed your mouth…”

That was music to his ears. She could hear him smacking his lips and the sound of his wet tongue.

“Daddy…yes…please don’t stop…make me cum…”

Pushing her thighs back, Erik did just that. He didn’t stop. He sucked that bejeweled clit into his mouth and sucked to his heart’s desire and it tugged on Valencia’s heartstrings. She had his locs in her fist. Her wet braids fell over her face. Her naked chest thrust forward. It was the most erotic thing.

“Oh my gosh!”

Her body spasmed and Erik dipped his tongue into her entrance so he could catch it all. Every drop needed to be on his tongue. Valencia pushed his head away and sat up. Erik shook his locs from his eyes and licked her sticky sweetness from his lips.

“We need to take this shit to my room now…I can’t do what I wanna do to you here…”

Valencia knew she was in trouble. He gave her this look and she just knew.

————

They entered the Omega Psi Phi house and Erik shut the door softly. Hand in hand, they crept up the stairs and when they both made it to the top landing, Erik led Valencia down the hall to his right. Majority of the house was still out for the evening. His room door was the most decorated out of the ones at the end of this hall. He took out his keys from his hoodie pocket and opened his door. Valencia slipped inside first and then Erik came in right behind her before shutting his door and locking it again. The room was cloaked in darkness with a little light from the streetlights outside peeking through the blinds. Erik took her bag from her and she could see his silhouette moving towards a desk.

He flicked on a lamp and adjusted the lighting so that it was dim. A yellow ambiance filled one corner of the room and the area where the bed resided was 80% dark. Valencia thought it was the perfect glow for what was about to go down. Erik proceeded to take his laptop out of his book bag and Valencia made herself comfortable on his bed. It was neatly made and fluffy. Some music played and Valencia figured it was to muffle the noises they were about to make but one thing about her, if it feels good, she can’t keep quiet.

Erik took off his hoodie and T-shirt. He stood in front of her with a bare chest and shorts on. They took a quick rinse after swimming. Valencia removed Erik’s hoodie from her body and her panties. She kicked off her slides and went to shield her body with her legs. Erik walked up to her on his bed and while his eyes looked down at her, he slowly peeled his shorts off. Valencia watched his movements with a steady gaze.

She could see that he was well groomed down there. When his dick bobbed out, she went still with speechlessness. It was thick, long, and veiny with heavy balls to match. Shaft the color of hickory and the tip reminded her of cinnamon. Something you would see in a porno. She’d never seen a dick this big in person. That’s all she had to compare it to. Valencia didn’t even want to venture a guess as to how big he is. Tonight was going to be the night where she explored her size queen fantasies.

“You’re so big…”

Valencia wrapped her small hand around him. Her fingers barely touched. She didn’t want to look scared, but she was. She replaced her shocked expression with a flirty smile. Erik reached down and caressed her chin. She knew what he wanted. She wished she’d practiced for this. She wanted to impress this man badly with skills she didn’t possess. Sure, she could give head, but would he enjoy it?

“Valencia.”

She was knocked out of her daze. Sitting up on her knees, she leaned forward while gently stroking him. Valencia would dart her eyes up at him timidly while his fat dick was in her face. So much dick.

Don’t chicken out, she thought.

“Go on, don’t act all shy, get a taste.”

Valencia let go of his shaft to push her braids back over her shoulders. Erik helped her by taking her braids into his fist loosely.

“Thank you,” She took him into her grasp again.

Fear flashed before her eyes and Erik used his thumb to stroke her chin again.

“C’mon, don’t be scared. Not with lips like that…”

She giggled nervously. Valencia leaned in and flicked her tongue along the tip of his dick like she was testing the waters. Erik’s grunt made her kiss his tip with her juicy lips.

“Stop teasing me and suck this dick.”

Valencia opened her mouth and Erik tugged on her braids so she could look up at him. She shut her eyes while sucking his wide tip into her mouth. That action alone made her jaws sore.

“Open your eyes, Valencia,” Erik tugged on her hair, “What I say?”

He was starting to show his dominance more and more. Valencia blinked up at him, the view from her position a sight for sore eyes. That body and that face with that big dick in her hand was all too much. She sank her lips deeper, and Erik exhaled a longing breath.

“You got a tight ass throat, ma…”

Valencia popped her lips off.

“I’m sorry—”

“Nothing to apologize about, baby. Put that mouth back on daddy’s dick.”

She did as she was told.

“There you go, put some more in there…”

She squeezed her thumb and breathed through her nose. A technique she’d learned about but never really used. She wasn’t a throat goat but she’d never had to challenge herself until she met Erik.

“Good girl…mmm.”

She added more spit to her sucking. There was no way she was going to fit all of him in her mouth. Valencia stroked him like she was grinding pepper with one hand while she sucked whatever she could.

“Look at you, all that being scared and you sucking it just like I like it…nice and slow…lots of spit…such a nasty girl.”

Erik licked his lips at her and his eyes were low. He kept making these grunting noises in his throat. She loved it so much.

“Those lips…feel so good on my dick, baby…”

Erik did something she wasn’t prepared for. He thrust his hips forward a little and more of his dick sank down her throat. Valencia gagged and her body jerked away from the feeling. Spit was hanging from her mouth and she looked up at him with wet eyes.

“Did I tell you to stop sucking?”

“N–no,” Valencia sniffled.

Erik tapped her lips with his dick.

“Open your mouth.”

Panic set in. She opened up and Erik had a hand on the back of her head and one on her throat. He started fucking her mouth slow. Valencia placed a hand on his thigh to try and control him. A knock suddenly came to Erik’s door and not once did he stop.

“Poet! Me and the rest of the guys were going out for drinks. You wanna roll out, dog?”

“Nah! I’m good. I’ll see ya’ll tomorrow!”

Erik bites down on his bottom lip when her lips popped off. He rubbed his dick along her lips, dribbling her lips with his tip before whispering for her to open the fuck up.

“Aight! We’ll catch up!”

When the coast was clear, Erik groaned.

“When I cum don’t you come up off this dick, you hear me?”

“Mhm,” Valencia couldn’t use her mouth at the moment to reply. Only sounds.

She sucked and sucked and her jaws ached but she was determined to make him cum. She was doing so well and Erik was loving it so much. He started moaning and saying her name. She felt in control. With a deep inhale, she took a chance and relaxed the back of her throat, twitching it around his tip.

“Shit, here it comes—”

Valencia sat still with Erik’s dick between her jaws. She could feel him throbbing with his release. He came in her mouth and it was thick and warm. She swallowed quickly, careful not to choke. It was a lot. She wasn’t surprised, with a dick that big and balls that heavy, it was expected. She came up for air and wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand. Erik twirled one of her nipples while bending over to kiss her lips. Tongue and all.

“You did so good, baby.” Erik whispered against her lips.

“You liked it? I wanted to make it good for you.”

“You made me cum didn’t you? I was tryna hold back but I couldn’t control it. I wonder what that pussy gonna do to me…”

“The same,” Valencia boldly replied.

“Yeah? That pussy gon’ make this dick bust too?”

“Mhm,” She jerked him while chewing on her bottom lip and staring him in his eyes with all the strength she could muster.

“You better hope I don’t bust in you…”

Erik tongues Valencia down again. His words fluttered in her mind. She was on birh control but she’d never let a guy do it. Isaiah drunkenly told her that he wanted to cream pie her, but he was wearing a condom. Erik planned to fuck her raw.

“Come sit on my face.”

Erik climbed into his bed and propped his pillows up. When he was settled, Valencia threw her leg over him and Erik popped her on that bubble booty with a hard slap.

“Turn the other way…just like that…”

She turned her back towards his face while her ass and pussy sat inches away from his mouth.

“Arch that back, girl.” Erik commanded with another smack to her ass.

Valencia did as she was told and Erik spread her cheeks . He didn’t waste time tongue-fucking her wet hole and slurping up her clit. Valencia clawed the sheets and started grinding her pussy along the length of Erik’s tongue. He spit on her pussy and sucked it back up over and over. Her eyes crossed like she was losing consciousness.

“OOH!, Erik, fuck, I’m gonna cum already!”

Erik whacked her across the ass through her release. He was showing a roughness with her that overwhelmed her. Valencia didn’t have time to recover when Erik sat up and positioned her on her back. He loomed over her and his lips pressed firmly against hers. She could feel his thick fingers between her thighs, stroking her pussy before slowly sinking two fingers deep.

“Uh—”

“I gotta make sure I open you up for this dick, girl,” Erik whispered.

His fingers pumped in and out of her. He was knuckle deep and torturing her spot. Valencia turned her face away and Erik attacked her neck. The obscene noises her pussy made was similar to squelching. She felt that from head to toe. Erik’s continuous nasty talk in her ear with a husky voice had her whimpering.

“This my pussy, Valencia?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t wait to fuck you…”

She felt a flutter in her belly from his words. His anxiousness let her know that she was going to take it all over his bed.

“Ima be in that pussy every way I can…you’re so pretty…you have the best pussy, babygirl…My dick is so hard…”

She could feel his stiffness on her inner thigh. Rigidly tapping her.

“I’ve been waiting for this shit…”

“Daddy—”

“You wanna cum? That pussy cumming again?”

“Yes—”

“Tell me whatchu want…open your mouth and tell me. All that shy shit is over wit’ you know what time it is.”

“…can I cum, please, daddy?”

She clawed his back. The more he continued to finger-fuck her, the harder it became to hold it in. She felt a sensation and she was afraid she was going to urinate. It was so intense, Valencia couldn’t fight it.

“Erik, Erik, Erik!”

“Gimme that shit.”

A stream of liquid similar to a fountain stained the sheets. It was too powerful and the more he fingered, the more she did it. She’d never ever squirted before.

“Oh my gosh,” Valencia tried to catch her breath, “I squirted…I’m sorry, I made a mess.”

She shielded her face with her hands in embarrassment. Erik moved her hands away and showed her his messy fingers before sucking on them.

“You can squirt, you can cream, I want all of that shit. Don’t ever be embarrassed about what this body can do. I’m so crazy about you…”

Erik pecked her lips and she could taste herself. He sat up on his knees and spread her thighs. Valencia hitched her breath when he started spanking her pussy with the tip of his dick.

“…A fat puss and a fat dick…you know what time it is, right?”

Valencia nodded her head with a pout of her lips.

“I’ll go nice and steady, okay?”

Erik kissed her inner left thigh before he gripped the base of his dick in one hand, gliding it between her folds before the wide tip of his thick pipe sat at her entrance eagerly. She watched as his chest moved up and down and his eyes focused on his movements. His eyes drifted up her body to rest on her face.

“It’s gonna feel so good…you’ll be begging me not to stop…”

She brought both of her arms up and her hands squeezed the pillow beneath her head. She tried to steady her breathing, but when Erik finally thrust forward, she lost her cool.

“Shit,” she squeezed her eyes shut, “It’s too much…”

The tip popped in and instantly she clenched him. Erik groaned. The snugness around his tip felt so fucking food. He needed more.

“Ima give you more…fuck, Valencia, pussy tight as fuck…”

He had his hands on the back of her thighs and both of them watched as he fed her pussy more fat dick.

“I’m tryna behave but all I wanna do is dig yo’ shit out.”

He gave her this look that told her ‘I’m ready to go berserk’ he would stop to give her a second to adjust and then more filled her up. She threw her head back and moaned. Erik had half of his dick in there.

“Look at me, talk to me…”

He withdrew his hips and Valencia’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open.

“Tell me where I’m at…”

“You’re in my pussyyyyyyy!”

Tears rolled down into her hairline. The sensation was so intense. She couldn’t even describe how wet she was. She felt so full.

“I’m finna’ go harder. You ready?”

Valencia had panick in her eyes. Erik kissed his teeth. He was impatient and with her good pussy wrapped around his dick she better get ready.

“Be a big girl and take it…own it and take it, ma.”

“…okay.”

Erik dropped that dick off in her all the way now and Valencia cried out. He leaned over her body causing her hips to lift from the bed. He put his fist into the mattress and the momentum of his thrusting went faster and faster. She didn’t know what to do.

“Yes,” Erik whispered, “I’m in this pussy now. hmm…”

“Unh—”

It felt so intense and so amazing. Erik sat up so he could look her in the eyes. He drew his bottom lip into his mouth and delivered sharp thrusts while staring her down. She was completely ruined and all he did was fuck her and look at her.

“I c–c–can’t hold it—”

“FUUCK—”

Her orgasm rocked through her body. Erik slipped out and she exhaled a shaky breath.

“Look…”

She sat up on her elbows. His dick was coated in cum and brick hard. Erik looked at her through his locs, a teasing smirk on his face. He was on her again, not even telling her how he wanted her. Instead, he positioned her with her face down and ass up. He fixed her arch, adjusted her legs, and then with two large hands on her ass cheeks, he pointed his tip at her opening and bam! He was back in like he never left.

“Keep that arch. What the fuck did I say?”

“Okay!” Valencia bowed her back, “Do I need to do it more?”

Erik didn’t respond with words, he fixed her himself and then spanked her ass.

“Ouch,” it stung so hard, “daddy that hurts..”

He kissed her cheeks and she whimpered.

“It wouldn’t hurt so much if you listen to what I say. Stay just like that.”

Erik’s dick went in and out. Each time it would go in, her pussy would queef. So much creamy mess. She felt it in her lower belly, it created intense pressure to the bottom of her pussy, her body quaked out of her control. So many different sensations hitting her at once.

“Mhm, you look so good right now…”

Valencia looked back at Erik.

“It’s s–s–so deep….” Valencia stuttered.

“I know, baby, but you’re doing so well, pretty girl…now daddy gotta bust it open some more…”

With just his hips, Erik showed her a good time. When he wanted to play back shots, he didn’t want you running and pushing him away. Her ass ricocheted off his hips and all she could do was grip the sheets and moan so loud it bounced off of the walls. She couldn’t do anything about the intense sensations.

“DADDY! OH MY GOD! ITS SO BIG! ITS SO BIG, DADDY! OH MY GOSH! ERIK! ERIK! ERIK!”

“Don’t push me away,” Erik locked her wrist behind her back as he barked out his command, “FUCK!”

He slowed down and Valencia tried to catch her breath. She didn’t want him to slow down. She wanted more dick. How was it possible to want more when she couldn’t even take it in this position?

“There you go…there you go. You fucking me back? Oh, so now you ain’t scared of this dick?”

Valencia threw it back on him and Erik stood there watching her with unblinking eyes and his mouth hanging open.

“Didn’t I tell you I would have you on this dick? Didn’t I fuckin’ tell you that?” Erik slapped her ass, “You showing out, girl. Fat pussy takin’ it like a real size queen.”

She looked back at him and licked her lips.

“Can you beat it up, daddy?”

Valencia was talking her shit. Erik pounded her pussy out.

“UHHHH SHIT!” She yelled.

Valencia sat up and Erik placed a hand around her neck from the front.

“Right there! Please don’t stop!” She begged.

Pound after pound. Her body seized up.

“You ain’t gotta tell me, baby, I feel that pussy…don’t hold back, give me what I want, wet up this fuckin’ dick!”

“YES!”

Erik slipped out and Valencia fell flat against the bed. She rolled over and stared up at Erik before reaching her arms out. He chuckled, picking her up and then she wrapped her legs around him snuggly.

“You want me to fuck you in the air?”

She nodded her head and bashfully smiled at him.

“I’ve always wanted to be picked up during sex. I wanna see how it feels…”

“I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Erik lined himself up and dropped her down on his dick. He palmed her ass and forced her down on his big dick, bouncing her up and down at a leisurely pace so she could feel it from the tip to the balls. Erik dipped his hips and Valencia had her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!” That’s all she could do. Moan and live in the moment.

Erik pressed his forehead against hers. She took in a sharp breath.

“I’m so close, this pussy gon’ make me cum so hard, fuck, gahdamn, shit, this wet pussy…tight, wet, gushy pussy—”

“I’M CUMMING FOR YOU!” Valencia declared.

“Cum on this fucking dick!”

Valencia came so damn hard. It was an out of body experience. She clung to Erik tightly and he sat on the bed and bounced her in his lap. Her words ran through his mind.

“Daddy! I wanna have your baby!”

“Valencia—”

Erik’s balls tightened and his shaft throbbed and twitched the same time her walls clenched him.

“Ima fucking nut—FUCK—”

He lifted her off of his dick and she was on her knees fast, sucking him clean. Erik sat back on his elbows and his body twitched. Spurt after spurt of his thick cum covered her lips and dripped onto her breasts. She jerked him while sucking on his tip.

“Unh, mmm, huhhhh, uhhhhh, fuckkkk….”

He was too sensitive. He grabbed his dick from her and sat up. Valencia licked her lips and tried to clean herself off. She peeked up at him and gave him a small smile followed by a giggle.

“I can’t believe I said that.”

She laughed it off, trying her best to conceal her embarrassment. She was so caught up in the moment. She covered her face and Erik moved her hands away. He helped her to her feet and sat her in his lap.

“Forget I said that.” She looked down into her lap, “That was amazing…”

Erik tilted her head up and stared into her eyes.

“I don’t want to forget it. And you need to stop feeling so ashamed. Shit, I almost gave you that baby.”

They both laughed. Valencia pressed her face into Erik’s neck.

“…you might experience a lot of emotions. It’s intense…”

“I’m so happy I got to experience it with you.”

Erik kissed Valencia on the forehead.

“Me too, baby girl. And I want more moments with you.”

Erik pulled the sheets back and he laid back against his pillow with Valencia snuggled close to him.

“You wore a nigga out…”

Valencia giggled.

“I could go for round two…”

———

@goddessofthundathighs @theegoldenchild @hearteyes-for-killmonger @imagining-greatness @chaneajoyyy @uzumaki-rebellion @theeblackmedusa @lisayourworries @ratedbadgal @bombshellbre95 @cecereads209 @cancerianprincess @dameshaemonique @6lack-1otus @thickemadame @thickeeparker @stinkalinkkkk @ehniki @electrixit @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @bakarisprxncess @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @bxolux @sweet2krazee @bluesole16 @seyven89 @ispywithmylileye @geemamii @unbotheredblackchild @nubianbabee @adoreesun @blackpinup22 @nayaxwrites @cocoa-puffs @dersha89 @honeytoffee @thickianaaaa @modelmemoirs @why-wait-4-eventually @queenfaithmarie @angelicniah @soulfulbeauty19 @aijha @novaniskye @princessxotwod @callmemckenzieee @blowmymbackout @lahuttor @momobaby227 @blackerthings @kenbieee @palmstreesallday @kokokonako @coolfancyone @soulsparker @richgirlaesthetics @withoutmusiclifewouldbflat @beautybyfire @abluesforlyssa @xo-goldengirl @mbakuetshurisprincess @4ftwonder @raysunshine78 @sensitivelegend @sourbabynaee @gotbeefbitch-blog @efonteno @akimi-youngblood @badassdoll @shyblackgurl @childishgambinaax @teheeboo @skylahb @gigafaex @readingaddict1290 @circeaphoenix @xsweetdellzx @carewornblackgirl @queengodiva619 @certifiedlesbianbaddie @jamaicanqueenaa

[hobiebrownbrowser]

Constant Arguments

I know there is a lot of angst like this going on but for some odd reason it just feels right to make. I feel as if 42 Miles won't be as affectionate then others make him appear to be. NO HATE ON THEM. I love reading them.

I feel like he'll still have a somewhat cold demeanor. I haven't seen many where Y/N doesn't really care that Miles is The Prowler. Just needing him by her side more than anything was a blessing in her honor.

Earth 42 Miles Morales x FEM!Reader

Context: Angst, fluff, sadness, Mild cussing, happy ending

Translations: 'blame google if they aren't correct' 💀

"¿Por qué no puedes decírmelo? = "Why can't you tell me?"

Necesitamos hablar mami. = We need to talk mommy.

"Quítate de mi camino Miles." = Get out of my way Miles.

summary: Y/N doesn't give a shit if Miles is The Prowler.

"¿Por qué no puedes decírmelo? You avoid my calls, my texts, everytime I try to talk to you! You act like I'm not even 'ere!" It felt like a train hit her when Miles didn't respond, Breaking the eye contact they held for so long. Y/N just rolled her eyes, fed up with a relationship that clearly wasn't working.

"When you wanna talk, hit me up Hombre, other than that you can leave." Y/N shook her head, grabbing her book bag off the floor and walking towards their shared room.

She was acting like this because he wanted to disappear for more than a whole ass week. Ignoring her, leaving his own girlfriend on read when she was worried sick for him. Only think he had to say was "he was busy." Apparently it was more important than she'll ever be.

Slamming the door once she got inside just to feel tears swell in her eyes. Everything was frustrating her, constant arguments, school. The girl was overstimulated to say the least. Her back pushed up against the wall as she attempts to calm herself down with shallow deep breaths.

It felt like everything she worked for was against her. The man she loves not giving her the care she needs to pull through with all of this shit. Her family pressuring her to do a good job in school.

She just wanted to settle down on a peaceful path, but that seemed to redeem to much in her life. Having to work two jobs day and night was a struggle and Miles knew that. Yet he still did what he said he wasn't going to do.

Leaving her when she was the most vulnerable. She felt as if she wasn't valuable in his life at all. Wanting to cut off the one thing that used to make her life better.

But oh how she loves Miles. At the same time she wanted to apologize, pull him in a strong embrace. But she knew in the end he'd do the same thing. Disappear on her for decades on end.

The last string she held onto snapping just from his cold words. The silence was preposterous yet it kept her in a safe haven, able to run away from her problems just like now.

Taking a few more deep breaths and finally getting up off the dirty floor. She needed something to occupy her mind with, scrolling through her phone just to look at good memories.

She needed to wind down, Wanting to just drop out of school and cut off anyone she thought she knew well. She needed to breathe in this already suffocating air. The man on the other side probably long gone and out the door.

She was right, his figure not on the couch any longer than it should be. She wiped her face before stepping out. Going into the kitchen and grabbing a tub of ice cream before heading back into her confined space.

"Princesa." She cursed under her breath. Hearing his soft genuine sweet voice call her by her nickname. The real question was why was he still here. Turning around to be met with dead eyes. It was funny. They'd been together for a year, yet he looks at her the same way he looked at others.

She simply ignored him. Grabbing a spoon from a drawer and trying to push past the firm man.

"quítate de mi camino Miles." He didn't budge, doing the complete opposite infact. Blocking the exit with his body, She threatened to climb over the table if he didn't.

"Necesitamos hablar mami." He simply just tilted his head, A serious look plastered on his face.

"Oh now you wanna talk, ain't your job more important than me?" She got him right there. Miles eyes avoiding her's before looking back up, his chest withhelding big sigh. He wasn't gonna lie because he knew it was. She wasn't in his shoes. She wasn't constantly having to kill people for money.

No. He wanted her to sit still and be the most cherishing thing he had left besides his madre and his uncle. He was in a stressful predicament. How the hell was he supposed to tell his future wife that he was 'The Prowler'?

Miles was stomped, Looking the love of his life in her eyes before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. The look of confusion on her face as he told her.

Miles watched as she rubbed her temples, her eyes narrowing down to nothing but disappointment. It all made sense now. Why she'd wake up to an empty bed in the middle of the night. The window sometimes left open on countless nights.

He'd even shown her the exact suit he'd killed in, leading her to a small hidden room she didn't even know they had in the first place. She poked her head in which Miles found a bit cute, Taking it out and putting it on like it was nothing but clothing.

You let out a deep sigh before saying what was on your own mind.

"Miles I don't give a shit that you're The Prowler. I just wanted you to tell me." A sigh of relief left Mile's throat. Apologizing to his chica before pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her soft plump lips.

"I'm sorry for not tellin' you sooner Hermosa."

Part 2 here 💜

[uluvjay]

Exile-C. Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x ex girlfriend! Reader

I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending

Warnings?; angst, being forced into a secret relationship, self doubt, crying, club scene, i apologize for any errors i made!

Charles could feel his breath get stuck in his throat as his eyes caught sight of your flowing hair and glowing skin, your body hanging off of a tall and fit gentleman.

“Dude what-oh..” Pierre winced as his eyes found what his best friend was locked on.

“I-it’s been three months and she’s here with another guy, feels like it took her five minutes to forget me..forget about us.” He breathed.

“He’s probably just a rebound dude, plus things didn’t really end that well for you two…” pierre trailed as he placed a hand on his friends shoulder and directed him away from you.

Charles shook his head with a scoff at the thought of the night you ended things with him, you had never shown signs of being unhappy or wanting to leave which is why the boy was more than confused when he returned from a phone call with his team to find you crying and packing your bags.

You never returned any of his calls or texts eventually blocking him on all forms of communication and telling your friends to do the same, even Kika.

Speaking of the girl he watched as she made her way back from the bathroom, slipping her small frame under Pierre’s arm; distracting him enough for Charles to make a break in your direction.

His eyes followed your body in that little black dress you wore as you walked to the bar and he wasted no time following and sliding into the spot right next to you.

You could feel him before he even spoke, the richness of his cologne filling your senses while his strong arm brushed against yours.

Your heart picked up at his presence, jumping like it was trying to get to him but your brain was screaming at you to turn around and walk out of that club.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He spoke first, his voice was soft but you could hear the sarcasm dripping in it.

“It’s a popular club and Monaco’s a small place.” You shrugged, cursing internally at the way your voice came out shaky.

“Who’s your boy toy?” He scoffed turning to catch a look at the guy again.

“None of your business.”

You finally looked at him this time, your eyes locking with his deep ones. Your stomach dropped as you thought back to the last time you looked into them, right before you shut the front door of his apartment and never looked back.

“He’s probably just using you, you know that right?” He laughed.

“And so what if he is? I’m not your problem anymore Charles, I can do whatever and whoever I want.” You spat before turning on your heals and heading straight for the back exit of the club.

However you weren’t fast enough to shake him as you heard his heavy footsteps close behind you and the second you made it outside a hand clasped around your wrist, pulling you back into his hard chest.

“You were never a problem, the only problem was you walking out on me and never giving me an explanation.” He spat, eyes burning into yours.

Charles jumped at the laugh that escaped from your throat, confusion clouding his face as the genuine sounds filled the quiet air.

“What are you laughing for? This isn’t funny Y/n.”

“You really think I just left? You’re more clueless than I thought.” You scoffed, pulling your wrist from his hold as you took a few steps back.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He questioned even more confused than before.

“You didn’t see all the signs I was trying to give? How I tried showing you again and again I was unhappy being your little secret? How sick I was of your team constantly referring to me as your problem?.” You scoffed.

“What signs Y/n!? You never said anything and news flash I’m not a mind reader.” He scoffed.

“I tried Charles! I tried so many fucking times and you always brushed me away. So I thought that if I would begin to distance myself or turn down dates and movie nights you would notice how I was feeling and ask me about it, but you never did.” You sobbed this time remembering how shitty you felt those days, how you would fight to get out of bed and put a smile on for him and your friends.

“I never knew you were that miserable Y/n, you should have forced me to sit down and listen to you. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way because I did and still do love you, so much.” He tried as he reached out for you.

You pushed his hands away as you stepped back doing your best to put more distance between you two.

“Of course you didn’t.” You scoffed as you wiped away some of your tears.

Strings tugged at Charles heart at the sight of the tears spilling down your face, wanting nothing more than to reach out and wipe them but he knew he couldn’t.

He thought back on your words and it clicked for him this time, he finally realized your tired and small efforts towards the end, how you would spend most of your days locked away unless someone really needed you, and he felt like a piece of shit for never noticing.

“I really am sorry Y/n, I wish I could’ve seen the signs, I shouldn’t have kept you a secret like they told me to because you deserved much better then that, I should have been telling everyone how much of a magnificent woman you are not hiding you.” He breathed.

“I’m glad you’ve realized that char but it’s too late now.” You smiled pitifully.

“No Y/n please let me make this right, let me show the world how amazing of a woman you are, let me cherish you and treat you right this time. Please.” He begged.

“I’m sorry Charles but I’ve seen this film before and I really, really didn’t like the ending.” You cried, reaching a hand up to stroke his cheek softly before placing a small kiss to the skin.

“Goodbye Charles.” You breathed.

“See you later Amore.” He spoke lowly.

You smiled at his attempt to hang on and not fully let go but it was time for you to, you needed to grow and become a better you and Charles was no longer apart of that journey.

You gave his pretty eyes one more look before stepping back and hurrying down the alley behind the club.

Charles watch as your frame got smaller and smaller, standing in the same spot even after he watched you enter the cab and look back at him one more time.

And in that moment he realized you could still be his, all he had to do was read the signs.

-

[eoieopda]

the one with seungcheol and the white flag

pairing: choi seungcheol x afab!reader au: est. relationship type: drabble (smut) rating: 18+ wc: ~900 summary: seungcheol atones like no other. cw: oral sex (f receiving) 🔞 MINORS WHO INTERACT WITH ME AND/OR MY CONTENT WILL BE BLOCKED, WHETHER OR NOT THE CONTENT IS NSFW. I’M AN ADULT WRITING EXCLUSIVELY FOR OTHER ADULTS.

You never heard your text tone chime to inform you of his late night, but you do hear keys jingling in the moments before your front door opens. Silence follows after the lock clicks again.

As if he’s moving on tiptoe across the kitchen and adjoining living room, there are no footfalls to confirm that he’s on his way to you. 

You know he is.

More than that, you can assume what he’s expecting: an argument. For some reference to the last time he got stuck at the office when he was supposed to be elsewhere, for forgetting to keep his phone charged long enough to tell you he won’t be home for dinner. To apologize more than once because he’s more than a little bit sorry.

You know that, too.

Seungcheol appears in the doorway to your bedroom before you can even look up from your book. You let him stand there for a second or two with bated breath while your unbothered eyes scan the page in front of you. When you finally look up, you return his gaze without offering anything else.

You don’t know what else to say at this point. He’s likely repeating your past conversations in his head anyway, self-flagellating.

He takes another silent step before setting his work bag down on the inner side of the door frame. His blazer is discarded too, left hanging on the back of your vanity chair.

“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart,” he sighs.

One step, two steps, three steps.

He repeats himself when he reaches the foot of the bed, palms pressing down into the mattress near your crossed ankles, but he doesn’t stop there. Climbing up and over slowly, he inches closer until his knees rest on the outsides of yours, warm body hovering.

You watch without a word as Seungcheol rests all of his weight on one hand and lifts the other. Carefully balanced, he gently removes the novel from your hands and sets it down somewhere to the side, out of your peripheral vision.

His eyes are pleading when yours meet them. Voice dropped low, he asks, “You believe me, don’t you?”

The question is punctuated by the soft brush of his knuckles against the top of your bare thigh. That touch trails down from the hem of your — his — too-big t-shirt until it goes cold just above your kneecap. Goosebumps are the only trace of him left behind.

It’s possible that you haven’t blinked once since he positioned himself above you.

Your eyes never leave his face, but your focus is split between the downward curve of his full lips and the thoughtful crease between his furrowed brows. That must be why you miss it when his hand returns to the hem of your shirt; you notice just in time to watch him run it between his thumb and index finger.

“Can I prove it to you?” He whispers, tone determined despite the desperation in his expression. “How sorry I am?”

You let him guide your legs apart so that there’s room for him between them. Seungcheol sits back on his heels for a moment when he realizes what’s waiting for him. 

What isn’t, rather.

With the way his shirt crept up your frame, there’s no fabric left to hide that you’re already wet and wanting.

Just for a moment, he flexes an eyebrow. You see it flash in his eyes: the realization that you may have been waiting for this all along. He doesn’t acknowledge it in words, and neither do you. Instead, he bows down.

Open-mouthed kisses line the length of your inner thigh. Interspersed between each of them is a new, whispered apology.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

The anticipation might’ve killed you before the vibration of his voice could. Thankfully, Seungcheol doesn’t leave enough time for you to find out for certain.

Eyes locked on yours, he parts his lips, leans in, and lets the tip of his tongue slip between your folds. Torturously slow, he flattens it against your slit, drags with perfect pressure that has your knees quaking long before he reaches the button of your clit and suckles it.

You whimper, though you don’t want to. But you don’t melt back against the pillows the way your body begs you to; you keep your abdominal muscles engaged just to watch him.

Him and the sharp cut of his jaw as he eats you out in earnest, so clearly starving after missing the meal you intended for him to have.

Him with his arms wrapped around your thighs and the press of his fingertips into your flesh, all working in tandem to keep you anchored in place when his tongue penetrates you and your back begins to arch.

Him, swirling dizzy circles over your clit until you’re left convulsing and gushing on his tongue.

When he pulls away to catch his breath, your orgasm is painted across his mouth and chin in a high-shine gloss. His pink tongue swipes over even pinker lips, washes them clean before he asks, “Forgive me yet, sweetheart?”

You’re still panting with electricity tingling at the tip of each finger. You nod, which makes a small, satisfied smile tug at the corner of his mouth. That very mouth drops open, so incredulous, when you speak for the first time all night:

“Cheol, I forgave you after the first apology.” You flash him an impish smile. “But I thought it’d be rude to interrupt the performance, so….”

“So,” he smirks. Leaning forward, his hands end up at either side of your head and cage you in. “It sounds like it’s your turn to atone, sweetheart.”

[atzloverr]

Selfish desire - chapter 1

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Masterlist for selfish desire

“Oh my god, (Y/N), look!” Wooyoung told you urgently while tapping your shoulder. You rolled your eyes slightly and started questioning him.

“Oh my god what-“ you started before being interrupted by your own gasp. Your eyes widened in shock as you read the text on the poster.

“MISSING PERSON”

You stood there, Wooyoung’s hand still on your shoulder, as you quietly read the information. You immediately recognized the boy on the picture. Jeong Yunho. He was that friendly guy from your literature class. You had only had brief interactions with him, but you had managed to gather two things.

One, he was very kind. Like, the type of kind that you rarely find in people. And two, he was really handsome.

You shook your head. I shouldn’t be thinking about that right now!! You thought to yourself.

“Hey! You’re blocking the hallway!” said a girl, bumping into your side as she walked past the two of you. You muttered an apology and hooked arms with Wooyoung before making your way to class.

“Damn… I wonder what happened to the guy,” Wooyoung sighed. You only hummed in agreement.

The thought scared you. What if he was kidnapped? Your thoughts wandered as you entered the classroom. What could anyone have against a guy like him? You thought.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You and Wooyoung sat down at your usual spots, at the very back, in the corner. You felt your stomach turn in anxiety as you read the words on the board. “GROUP PROJECT”. Shit.

You groaned in annoyance and felt Wooyoung’s hand of support on your shoulder.

“It’ll be fine (Y/N)! What’s the worst thing that could happen?” he smiled, trying to cheer you up.

You took a deep breath and straightened your posture. “You’re right, Woo. It’ll be fine…” you tried to convince yourself.

You hated group projects. You enjoyed doing things on your own. In group projects, YOU always ended up doing all of the group’s work in the end.

“I’ve assigned you into group of three, I’ll read the groups out loud.” The professor, miss Park, cleared her throat before reading out the groups. You anxiously bounced your leg up and down. Your head perked up when you heard your name.

“(L/N) (Y/N), Park Seonghwa and… uh…” she stammered and looked around the room anxiously. “The two of you will form a group, yes!” she decided, sounding proud of her own decision. You looked at Wooyoung with confusion, he shook his head, not understanding why either. “Alright! Everyone, go find your groups! And Seonghwa and (Y/N)…, you can come have a chat with me,” miss Park said before clapping her hands. The classroom was quickly filled with noise as everyone went up to fins their groups.

“What was that about?” you asked Wooyoung as you gathered your things. “Don’t ask me, and who’s that Seonghwa guy? I’ve never heard of him,” Wooyoung said, looking up at the ceiling. You shrugged your shoulders.

You made your way to your professor, and spotted your partner, already there. You had never seen the guy before. He had jet black hair, and wore a pair of glasses. His clothes were neat, and he looked very put-together and clean. You could see his side profile from a distance and decided that he was indeed, very handsome. You walked up to the two and was greeted by your professor. “Ah, yes, hello Miss (Y/N). I was just explaining to Mister Seonghwa here that the reason for the last minute group change is, well…” she looked down at the floor. You eyed her suspiciously before she continued. “You two were paired with… Jeong Yunho. I don’t know if you’re aware of his situation but…” she started. She clearly had a very hard time discussing Yunho’s disappearance, so you saved her the trouble. “Yes… I’ve heard the news,” you explain.

Your Professor proceeded to explain how the two of you were going to do this assignment. You nodded in agreement. As she continued to explain, you caught a glimpse of Seonghwa’s face. He really was beautiful. You were shocked that he wasn’t a popular kid, considering his looks. He had however not muttered out a single word throughout this entire conversation, so maybe that was the reason.

“So, is that clear?” you snapped back to reality and nodded. “Yes, miss Park.” Seonghwa just nodded, still refusing to speak. You figured he was just really shy. As miss Park left the two of you, you felt the awkwardness fill the air between you as you stood there, watching her go. You weren’t usually the outgoing type, but since this guy seemed to be mute, you decided that someone had to take the first step. Turning around to face him, you reached out your hand. “Hi, I’m (Y/N), I look forward to working with you for the next few weeks!” you said with a smile on your face. You weren’t excited at all, to be honest. He hesitantly took your hand and shook it. His hand was cold, and soft to the touch. You waited for him to introduce himself, but no words came out of his mouth. He just nodded and smiled softly. Maybe he was mute…

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The two of you had moved to a quieter spot, in the library. Working with someone like Seonghwa, actually didn’t seem half bad. Sure, he barely spoke, but he was determined, and made sure things got done. The only thing that bothered you slightly, was the way his stare lingered on you for longer than you were used to. It was like he was watching you closely, quietly observing you.

After an hour, he had only muttered out some sounds. They were usually hums of either agreement or disagreement. You couldn’t not mention it, so you finally said what had been on your mind.

“You really don’t talk much do you?” It was a rhetorical question, and you honestly didn’t mean it as an insult. Just a fact. Seonghwa looked down in his lap. “But hey, that’s alright!” you reassured him. He looked up at you with a smile, a smile that said ‘thank you for your patience’.

As the lesson was about to end, the two of you made your way back to the classroom. “Hey Seonghwa, do you maybe want to exchange numbers… Just for the project! I mean!” you said, feeling yourself getting embarrassed. You didn’t want him to think you were trying to make a move or something.

Seonghwa chuckled as you explained yourself, and hearing his voice filled you with joy. He pulled out a little note from his notebook, and wrote his number on it. And just then, as you were about to enter the classroom, he finally spoke to you. “Thank you for today (Y/N), you can call me,” he said. It felt unusual to hear him speak, but you certainly weren’t complaining. He honestly, had a very soothing voice. “Okay! and thanks to you too,” you smiled brightly.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“Girl, who the hell was that!?” Wooyoung whisper-yelled into your ear. You only smiled. You knew Wooyoung would react this way. “You’re telling me we have this unknown hot guy in our class? And you have a group project with him? ALONE!?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Calm down will you?” you smiled at your best friend. The two of you were walking out of the school campus together. “He barely speaks, Woo. He only said like, what, five words to me, during those entire two hours!” you explained. “I think that’s why he’s not that popular, he doesn’t really talk, I guess.” Wooyoung smirked at you. “Well he talked to you, didn’t he? Maybe now is the time!” Wooyoung clapped his hands excitedly. You raised an eyebrow. “The time for you to finally get a boyfriend!” he yelled. You put your hand over his mouth and laughed. “Yeah, no way. Why would a guy like that be interested in me?” you snorted at the thought. If he wasn’t invisible, he would have all the girls fawning over him. “Don’t talk to yourself like that!” Wooyoung said, trying to sound angry. You just laughed, finding his pouty expression cute. “Whatever, do you want to go to my place tonight?” Wooyoung asked. You thought about it. “I don’t really think I have the time today. I have a pretty late shift at the corner tonight,” you explained. The corner was your local little convenience store. You had managed to get a little job there for the time being. The work hours were kind of shitty, but you had to pay the rent somehow.

Wooyoung pouted at your answer. “Can’t you just invite someone else to hang out? How about San~” you teased, knowing that Wooyoung had a little crush on a guy in his English class. He nudged your shoulder. “Hey!” he laughed. The two of you were about to part ways for the day. “Whatever, have a good night (Y/N)! And call me on your way home from the corner! I don’t want something happening to you,” he warned, pointing at your face. You smiled. “Yeah yeah, bye Wooyoung!” you said before hugging him goodbye.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“I assume you’ve met her then. Isn’t she just wonderful?” Hongjoong said, slowly running his fingers through Seonghwa’s dark hair. Seonghwa smiled, looking up at Hongjoongs face from where he lay positioned, in his beloved’s lap. “Yes. I’m sure she will be very happy here, my love.” Hongjoong chuckled lowly, watching the fireplace with wide eyes. “Surely our pet will love to have a little playmate.”

Next chapter

Complete Masterlist

[mrs-pianofandom-98]

Can I be good..?

Agatha has always had a tendency to push people away. To deny herself any good because she knows it never last. Even when her girls make it hard for her to try to push…(Currently going through a breakup so you can all suffer with me)

(..Agatha’s thoughts..)

It was a saturday morning agatha had prompted to sleep alone without any of her lovers that night. She just wanted a moment and they all understood knowing they all had those moments. But she hadn’t slept. She knew it was one of her bad nights. She had tossed and turned,got up to redo her lesson plans or to read her text. She knew if she just went to lilia she would make her some tea or to Rio she would hold Agatha till she fell asleep.

But everytime she found the longing or the want to go and see one of them she pulled herself back. She knew she had been closed off and snippy all day,she didn’t think she could go out there and apologize and ask for something..anything to make her head quiet. Because the Agatha Harkness didn’t apoligize when she was the one being annoyed! Annoyed by billy’s constent updates through his classes (she asked him to do) or Jennifers blubbering about her work (Agatha loved the way her eyes lit up when ranting). She was the one allowed to be annoyed!

She groaned as she set up in her bed feeling her head pounding as it was just as fed up as she was. She tried to wipe away the exhaustion as she went downstairs and smelt breakfast. They all were off today, a rare occurrence (Of course she had to have a bad day and ruin it). Lilia was in the kitchen swaying about with her pulled up still in her soft yellow nightgown humming to herself as she flipped the pancakes. Agatha had caught Alice sitting on the counter next to the stove in her white tank top and black sweats looking at Lilia with the same love struck look the investigator gave them all. (She had grown to love that look)

“Morning ags!” Alice said as she looked up at her girlfriend. Usually Agatha would give her a wink or a “good morning dear” but she just hummed as she poured herself a cup of coffee. (Trying to ignore the saddened look Alice had given her) As she looked up at Jennifer and Rio coming downstairs as they had both slept in Jen’s room last night. Jennifer kissed both Lilia and Alice a goodmorning as Rio went over to Agatha as she leaned in but Agatha blocked her by putting up her mug “Not right now you have morning breath.” Agatha said as she walked past Rio into the living room grabbing the paper.

Rio narrowed her eyes at the action “What’s got you so moody amor.” She asked slightly hurt with a hint of annoyance as they knew how agatha got when she was in a mood. Agatha hated (adored) how they knew her actions so well she was so used to being able to make anyone leave her alone.

“Nothing. And I don’t get moody please, that's for the teenager.” She scoffed at the comparison. “Then care to explain why we’ve gotten the backlash of whatever has gotten you into a bitchy mood.” Jennifer questioned as she took a sip of her tea. At this point Agatha noticed the stove was turned off and they all were looking at her.

“Is having a bad headache such a crime jen.” Agatha snipped harsher than she intended. Jennifeir eyes narrowed as she looked at agatha. “It is when you're taking it out on us again.” The way Jennifer said again made agatha tense as she recalled how many times she had done that before but she wasn’t going to admit it. Agatha quickly put up her walls of indifference as she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever do you mean dear,I’m fine.” Agatha knew how much Jennifer hated the condescending and false kind tone Agatha used. Jennifer had stood up from the table walking straight in front of Agatha. “Agatha Please,” she said,her voice softening recognizing agatha's defense. “Your not fine and you know it. You’ve been distant,snappy,and cold. You barley talk,rarely even look at us anymore. It’s like your avoiding us.”

Agatha felt a pain of guilt at Jennifer’s words. She knew it was true but didn’t want to acknowledge the fact she caused this subconsciously on purpose. Agatha looked away, ignoring the lump in her throat. “I’m so sorry I haven't been able to be the perfect partner like all of you jen.” Agatha said harshly as she stood up. Jennifer looked slightly hurt before her eyes narrowed “I said nothing about that Agatha. I didn’t compare you to us! I’m simply-”

Agatha cut her off with a glare and sarcastic smirk “You're simply comparing me to all of you! Simply telling me every way I'm not doing what all of you are right?” Agatha knew she was being unfair but this was how to get them to leave her alone. (Right..) “Agatha you need to calm down.” Lilia interrupted as she looked at the escalating argument. Agatha scoffed as she looked at them all “I’m so sorry I can’t play house everyday. My bad I can’t be the good woman you all claim me to be! Maybe finally you’ll fucking understand I don’t need your dame help! I just need you to leave me alone!” Agatha had repeated the phrases that had been haunting her head since she allowed herself to open to this relationship.

Agatha's eyes were glossy with unshed tears she hid behind with the scowl she was wearing. As she slammed the mug and the paper down and grabbed her coat and keys. “Where are you goi-”Alice tried to ask worriedly but all Agatha did was walk out slamming the door.

(Pt 2?)

[do-you-ship-it-polls]

About the blog:

This is created just for fun to poll people on their opinions on ships, because shipping culture is something that I find fun. I’m sure this has been done before but I haven't seen any active blogs doing it, except for tournaments. Please stay civil and block the people that make you angry. (Or just ignore them.)

I also run the blog @do-you-know-this-baby and @aretheyqueer

I’m mainly going to be focusing on anime or cartoon ships, but you can submit any show/movie/book/game etc.

Pedophilia and incest is not allowed, but am otherwise lenient with it. I don’t consider myself a proshipper, and will sometimes deny ships that aren't technically illegal. If I accidentally post something awful then you can let me know.

I'm not posting Harry Potter, Hazbin hotel or Helluva boss characters. Also no mcyt aside from roleplay/story-telling where they have different names. Why these are banned is in the last tab of this spreadsheet.

This blog is lgbt+ friendly, of course. 

Feel free to send me an ask if you’d like to ask questions or have a suggestion, or something else to say.

Other similar blogs (none are affiliated with me):

@do-you-ship-this-comic-ship

@do-you-ship-this-book-couple

@worlds-worst-ships

@are-they-queerplatonic

@shouldtheydivorce

@proshipping-polls

@rpfshippingpolls

Submission rules:

Submissions can be sent through the form below, or through an ask to this account!

No real people

One ship per form, but you can send in multiple forms at a time.

There are currently a lot of submissions so it'll take a while to get through all of them, but your submission could show up at any time since I don't really go in order as much as I should. I'm currently posting 3 times a day.

I also sometimes miss duplicate submissions so if your text isn't included, I apologize!

Here is a spreadsheet with all published ships and their votes, if you prefer it over the blog search feature, or want to check something easily. It also includes denied ships.

Fandom jail

Fandom jail is for fandoms who bother me too much but don't deserve to be banned forever. This means polls featuring these characters will be put on hold. The fandoms currently in jail are:

None!

Tags used:

#anime ; #cartoons ; #movies ; #tv shows ; #books etc

#not a poll ; #not a ship

#asks

#fanart friday (feel free to send me fanart you want to be featured)

#crackship poll and #april fools for joke polls

#tournament poll

[jillvalentine]

re: my relationship with my abuser, currently @/gwendaria (part one?)

[edit: new usernames + accounts since this post has been made: scarymovies, walkingdeads, samcarpenters, the-mummy]

My abusive ex has unfortunately been going full-on with the latest DARVO / smear campaign, and this time it seems to have reached a few people. These callouts are made-up, and they've been popping up continuously in different forms since early 2021 in an attempt to silence or smear me, regardless of their inconsistencies. One second I'm an emotionally abusive gaslighter who they've finally been freed from. The next, I'm someone they don't even know about. The next... I'm a renown stalker. The next... I'm a random girl who got romantically obsessed with them and turned into a terf when I got rejected. The neeeext... I'm a terf stalker racist? Okay! I don't even know anymore. There's definitely more.

I mostly want to focus on the facts. The facts are that I've shared about my experiences enough that I shouldn't have to entertain stupid shit anymore. There will always be the next narrative, more scandalous than the last. Going forward, I just want to make the evidence more accessible so that anyone can find it.

I still have all of our texts, discord logs, whatsapp logs, voicemails, facebook messages, hundreds of screenshots from me and from others (onlookers & other people who have been harmed), and I've become friends with people who have also been friends with or intimate with this person and came out from the other side (some are public and others aren't, because, hey! Look what happened to me after I came out. I have been stalked almost on the hourly for about 4 years now, and I know it won't stop, because I know exactly who my abuser is.)

About 3 years have passed now, so a lot of the 'big' conversations or screenshots I shared earlier on when I spoke out about what had happened to me have been buried in time. (but they are, still there.)

Screenshots where they ragged on and on about my friends, about me being naïve and that I'd know better when I was "a real adult" like them, telling me to drop dead, telling me about slitting their wrists, telling me that someone was messaging them about 'cumming on my face' after I posted (1) selfie. Blocking me everywhere for a bit over that selfie. Unblocking me. Yelling at me. Blocking and unblocking me again because I said something about how they were being awful to me. Rinse and repeat with the next insane shit.

This was during covid lockdown, and it was 24/7. I couldn't fucking breathe. I got questioned about going to the supermarket with my mom. I got mindfucked for not explicitly saying I was back home when I said I was getting the mail, under the guise of caring so much about me, of course.

One time, I sent a snap of these leggings I liked online. Because the photo sent as a file instead of a normal-full-screen-just-taken snap, it became a whole argument of "Did you share this with anyone else?" and I would be like... what would be wrong if I did? Why is it wrong for me to send a photo of some leggings I think look good to a friend to get her opinion? A lot of conflict happened this way. They were incredibly controlling and suffocating, all under the claims of past trauma, undiagnosed mental illness, and most of all - flowery apologies or proclamations.

I used to think I was able to push through anything that happened because they would apologize to me, and it made it okay again. I genuinely thought they just needed someone to give them a chance to heal and get better, or get back to how they used to be early on in the relationship. I wanted to be that someone, I wanted to be strong enough to take all of it and be okay at the end. It gradually got worse, and I found myself trapped in the relationship. Anytime I was close to getting away, I would get drawn back with push-and-pull manipulation tactics. If I had pulled away to recover from their mistreatment, I was then the one apologizing for having had to pull away, and how bad that pulling away had affected them. How awful I was and how much I regretted being affected by anything. I would blame anything else (it wasn't you, it was my own anxiety) to make things calm down.

I didn't see any of this coming from the start. It was a gradual process. Near the end, I was googling things about how to fix toxic relationships (it didn't work because the relationship wasn't a two-way street, it was abusive), trying to think for 5 different people to avoid outbursts, trying to explain away how someone might gaslight and manipulate others without it being fully conscious and intended. I found out it was 100% intentional when I got out. They were telling others that I was doing to them what they were doing to me, along with a bunch of other bullshit to pre-emptively plant seeds.

Gwen frequently tries to use the worst buzz words to create stories and alienate people from one another. She doesn't care about any social issues. What she likes or dislikes is entirely based on what she needs to get out of a situation. If someone she's fixating on positively likes xyz thing, she likes it too. If someone she's fixating on negatively likes or dislikes something, she'll do the opposite. She constantly invented stories and tried to frame people I'd known for years, or anyone who dared to interact with my posts anywhere. She literally impersonated people and had accounts hacked. All she does is obsess over people. She constantly monitored me and created conflict over anything, real or made up. She especially liked to create conflict when it was late, or when I was otherwise not-fully-there, like when I was drugged following a surgery. I was so out-of-it that at that point I didn't want to fight for myself or others anymore.

Near the end of the relationship, I had a private account that I would hide on because social media, and really anything social, had become a minefield. Multiple people had witnessed the change from before the relationship, the start of it, up to the end. I deactivated my main twitter for a period of time (although I was careful enough to reactivate it once every 30 days so it wouldn't be permanently lost) and had to ignore people, stop myself from posting or liking things, and plead with people not to mention anything about me because I would have to answer for it. Multiple people remember me asking them to delete certain posts, or just be careful not to give out that I was doing anything with them. I was abnormal and an immature adult for wanting to spend a bit of time with or buy a gift for my friend on their birthday. We had an age gap, and at first, it was all "you're probably more mature than me :)" - until it turned to Real Adults Don't Spend Time With Friends, lol. Real adults are 100% focused on their partner. Real adults aren't on social media, and other thinly-veiled degradation + mindfuckery. Funny how my age became a bad thing, but they were the experienced 29-year-old who knowingly pursued the inexperienced 23-year-old.

Near the end of the relationship, I was starting to hide away to spend more time with people who treated me well, and it helped me get out. I saw that the way I felt every day wasn't normal. It reminded me of what good relationships are like and what they feel like. My friends tried their best to be supportive, but it was very difficult because my partner was trying very hard to isolate me from them through threats, aggression and manipulation. I'm incredibly lucky that they stayed by my side and told me that what was happening wasn't normal.

Getting out was hard. Staying out was hard. Even after everything that happened, following the split, I told my friends I didn't know what I would do if they tried to get me back again. SO fucking glad that's over.

[cookiethebirdthing]

Worlds Apart

A story about Maribel Hearn being unwell below the break. Check the trigger warnings before deciding if you want to read.

She was being questioned again. It happened so many times before. Renko would question her. Would question her experiences. Why? Why did she seek to hurt her?

Maribel closed the video stream. She couldn’t do this right now. She wanted to say something. She wanted to let her friend know how much she hurt. She wanted to shout at her, belittle her, ruin her. It was always the same. No one ever believed her. Could she not speak for her own thoughts? Apparently not.

How could she know what she thought and felt? She didn’t know any more who she was than a passerby on the street who caught mere glimpses of her. Perhaps even then, they could trust their own subjective experiences. What a luxury they took for granted. To be able to trust their own world. That everything around them was solid— real. That no matter what, there were objective truths in this world that remained constant.

How fucking lucky they were. When one can trust neither their external world nor their internal one, what do they have to turn to? What is reality to such a being?

She wanted to cry. To punch a wall. To punch Renko. To truly, irrevocably, and unforgivably hurt her. For now, she blocked her. She didn’t block her. She couldn’t. She needed Renko to see. To talk to her, to apologize to her. For trying to take away what little she had. For trying to destroy her reality.

She muted the notifications in the messaging app. She didn’t want to hear a single thing from that piece of shit’s mouth. It’s not like she cared anyway. Fighting her tensing muscles, she placed it down gently on the floor. Maybe had she the money…

When all the things that make one human are stripped away, what is left? She felt human. Did she? Was she? Were she to ask someone what made one a human, the only response she would get is a stab to the heart. How could she even mistake herself for one? If all but her could claim the title of human, then clearly it was no title to hold dear at all.

And yet, it was those differences that brought her to this same place again and again. Across the shimmering, moonlit ocean she stared. What was out there? What was left? Should she plunge into the abyss? Would she ever resurface? It wasn’t for her. Not yet. Not until the last of the world was blanketed in the uncaring sea.

She turned back—back to the glimmering city she called home. All the marvels of the current day packed into a pretty little box of unending exploitation. There she sat on the floor in the center of it all, the closet door locked tight and the dim lights above her struggling to illuminate her own hands.

The darkness around her twisted and snarled, enveloping her. That was fine. It didn’t matter, not when there was nothing left to feel. It was all so distant. At some point, the light had turned off. She had been the one to do it. Like a turbulent sea, the world buffeted against her. The thin pane of reality she was left on buckled under her weight. Her vision wavered, maybe. There was no stillness to be had in such a place.

It was doubled, she realized. Everything. Another dimension maybe. She wiped her glasses, but it didn’t help at all. She could see it. The lines and shadows fell apart before her eyes. She could— 

A high-pitched noise cut through her world, shattering it into place. She blinked. It was all still there, but… normal again. Maribel frowned, looking down at the tablet whence the noise originated. She picked it up and unlocked the screen. Renko had messaged her. She had messaged her a lot. She guessed from the timestamps that about an hour had passed.

hey are you okay ,, merry ? Merry i m.sorry if I said the wrong thing please respond when you see this i understand if your mad i just wanted t o say im sorry only message back if u feel up 2 it <3

Maribel tapped the text area, causing a keyboard to pop up.

Hey, I’m fine. Don’t

She held the backspace button until the draft message was cleared. Then she held it a few moments longer. She stared at the blinking cursor for a while.

💜

She pressed enter before turning off the tablet.

[capricornlevi]

warm, cool, sweet and bitter

cafe!owner nanami x reader - gn!reader - sfw - wc 1.6k

"not going for the usual?"

nanami's question is delivered casually and carefully, the low tones of his voice carrying across the empty floor of the restaurant.

his restaurant, to be exact. your favourite spot for a late-night cup of tea and the only place in the city that serves sandwiches made with baguettes baked fresh in-house, you find yourself here around 4am at least four days a week.

it's funny; your schedules make it so that the end of your day always coincides with the start of nanami's. he comes in early to put the pastries in the oven, to grind the coffee beans to the correct consistency, to ensure that there's enough stock to last the coming few hours. he's always occupied with some task or another -- for his sake, you're glad you're the only customer at this hour.

though the restaurant is a veritable ghost town whenever you visit, he has told you it tends to pick up around 7am. within the hour, there's a queue out the door.

the popularity doesn't surprise you. nothing beats the welcoming aroma of fresh bread from the oven, the slightly bitter but warm scent of brewing coffee enveloping you into a little bubble sheltered from the usual hustle and bustle of the streets outside.

the bar you work at is just three doors down, and so by the time last call is announced, you're already thinking of the warm baguette you're going to enjoy before rushing home to collapse into bed.

the same baguette every time, with the same blend of tea. you're fairly certain he gives you the same mug every time, too, a beautifully crafted piece of porcelain with little hand-painted yellow flowers decorating the sides.

you've carved out a nice little routine for yourself. but as nanami so astutely pointed out a moment ago, you figure it's time to change it.

some aspects of the routine stay the same; you sit on the same counter stool you always sit at, placed just beside the coffee maker so you can chat as nanami prepares a macchiato for himself. nanami looks the same, dressed in that familiar shirt and slacks that seem perfectly tailored just for him. the smooth jazz playlist plays so quietly in the background that it's barely legible -- you only catch a note or two every few minutes.

but you are going to change one key aspect of this ironclad routine: your order.

"yeah, gonna go for coffee today, i think," you inform him, trying to sound assured in your decision. "a double epresso, please."

"a double? at four in the morning?"

he casts a questioning look your way from over the counter and you shrug, trying to ignore the ache of your muscles as you do so. as he hand-whisks some whipped cream for the pastries, a few strands of his blond hair fall into his eyes. he tries to flick them away to no avail.

you swallow, a lump forming in your throat as you think of how to reply.

"busy day ahead of me, i guess."

nanami nods slowly -- out of politeness, you presume, since there's no way he knows what you're referring to.

your purposeful vagueness isn't to be rude, though, it's just saving you both from extreme awkwardness.

since the reason you're loading up on caffeine is so that you're fully charged to go and break up with your cheating boyfriend.

your pathetic, free-loading, unable to do his own laundry, didn't even have the courtesy to crop you out of the pictures he used on his Tinder profile, miserable excuse for a boyfriend.

in the middle of your lunchbreak you received a text from a girl he'd been hooking up with, who had very kindly spotted your picture on his social media and decided to inform you as to the calibre of man you were calling your significant other.

you thanked her, typed up a three-sentence long text telling your boyfriend it was over, and blocked him.

he had then used his friend's phone to call you, weeping for a chance to explain, snivelling and choking out inarticulate apologies, and you agreed to see him one last time.

just to give him a piece of your mind before cutting him off for good. it'll be good for closure, you figure.

you're more angry than heartbroken -- honestly, you're not sure you ever really liked him. six months into this relationship and you find yourself looking forward to these conversations with nanami more than you do spending time with the man you're actually seeing.

were seeing. past tense, thankfully.

nanami bends down to place the whipped cream in the fridge, dusting some residual flour from his royal blue shirt as he rises again.

"sounds like more than just a busy day," he observes patiently, measuring out some espresso grounds to pull your coffee. "want to talk about it?"

against the odds, your exhausted face brightens with a smile. "there's good customer service, and then there's me taking advantage of your hospitality, nanami."

shaking his head amusedly as he shakes off the excess grounds from the basket, he chuckles, a low, pleasant sound that lodges in your chest.

"it's not taking advantage if i'm offering willingly."

"you don't have enough to do around here?" you grin.

"oh, i do. but hearing about your problem might make me feel better about having to spend three hours doing stock take later this evening."

"ah, so i'm doing you a service moaning about my personal life?"

"absolutely. in fact, if it's tragic enough, i'll throw in a pain au chocolate free of charge."

"high stakes," you reply with a faux solemnity. "you really want to hear?"

"very much so," he answers, the sentence being punctuated by the hum of the espresso machine.

"okay then," you sigh, fidgeting with the rings on your right hand as some vain attempt to distract yourself. "the short of it is that i just wasted six months of my life. half a year. five percent of a decade that i'll never get back."

nanami waits for the espresso to finish pouring, the deep amber of the coffee shot wafting steam up into the air between the two of you.

"wasted how?"

another sigh, wearier this time. "on a guy who i genuinely think has annoyed me since i met him."

silence. this time, it doesn't appear to be coffee-related.

but when you glance away from your rings to see nanami's face, you see that it's more pensive than judgemental. as though he's truly considering what to say next.

"why did you agree to go out with him in the first place?" he asks after another few moments, brows slightly pinched together.

a fair question. one you're not entirely sure of the answer to.

"fear of the alternative?" you hazard a guess, acutely aware of how strange it is to be speaking so candidly with a guy you only know through your shared love for baked goods.

"being alone?" he follows up with a sincerity that cuts through any discomfort.

"i guess."

"i know what you mean," nanami continues, finally remembering the espresso shot that's still sitting on the tray.

he takes the cup -- your usual, because neither of you thought to forego that part of the routine -- and sets it before you, muscles in his forearms straining when he crosses them over his chest afterwards.

"you do not," you mumble instictively. the words fall out without you thinking, but they're not meant maliciously; it's just that nanami is so ... eligible, for lack of better word. handsome, engaging, owns his own thriving café.

he makes fresh eclairs every single morning, for crying out loud. you cannot fathom a world in which people aren't lining up to be with him.

though your blurted words could be perceived as rude, nanami just smiles softly, amusement reaching his eyes as they lock with yours.

"want me to tell you something?"

"is it as embarrassing as my fact?" you query, knocking back most of your coffee in one swig.

"unquestionably."

at that, you set the cup back down abruptly, clinking it against the saucer.

"really?"

he just nods. you sit back on the stool, feeling the plush backing of the stool against your lower back.

"go on, then."

"i don't actually open this early."

your face scrunches into an expression of pure confusion; nanami's lips quirk upwards in response.

"what do you mean? do you open in like ... a half hour?"

he shakes his head, those strands of hair falling loose again.

something washes over you, a sense of recognition, connecting the dots slowly in your tired, over-exerted brain.

"nanami ..."

"yes?"

"... do you not open until seven?"

nanami's weighted silence answers your question.

you breathe in, out. blink haplessly up at him.

you're sure your coffee is starting to get cold, but you make no attempt to drink it.

"i - what - what are you - why do you let me come in here three hours early? why did you never say anything?"

you choke out the words desperately, flooded with a dozen different feelings at once.

he stays smiling, but something else flashes in his eyes. you see the already-tense muscles of his arms tighten further.

"why do you think i never said anything?"

[chiefduckgarden]

Definitely, Jim and Pam

Summary: Part two of this thing is feeling like Jim and Pam

A/N: It took a long time to finish, but it's finally here. Thanks to all the peole who kept asking about this part two. And sorry for the waiting. This is about 10k+ words so, enjoy!

Remember this is inspired in Jim and Pam from The Office!

--------------------------------------------------

Los Angeles was nice.

It's been a month since you started college and you could say you had blended in pretty well.

The classes were exhausting but everything else was new and exciting for you. You felt like it was your chance for a new beginning, and you definitely needed one.

After that terrible prom night you isolated yourself for two entire weeks. No social media, no calls, no messages, no visits. You only bothered to send your application letter for college.

When you finally decided to turn on your phone again you realized some of your friends tried to reach out to you. You answered every single message, letting everyone know that you were okay. But your heart broke a little when you realized that none of those messages or missed calls were from Wanda.

And that was your breaking point. You understood that you really screwed up things with her. She wasn't even concerned about your absence, if anything you thought she was relieved that you didn't tried to talk her anymore.

For the next months you avoided anything related to Wanda. Before blocking her number you sent her one last text apologizing and explaining your reasons to go zero contact with her.

You didn't expect her to answer anyway.

Although Pietro did call you to know about how you were doing, the moment he mentioned Wanda you stopped him right away.

"Please let's not talk about her, it still hurts too much". That's what you said.

He sighed but changed the subject immediately. That's when you found out he got into a foreign university in Switzerland and that he was moving out of the country.

You smiled happily and extended your congratulations to him.

Some time later you found yourself moving to Los Angeles and starting your first year of college.

Some of your friends ended up with you there, like Kate, Peter and MJ. It was awesome to have old friends with you, but meeting new people was also exciting.

You heard from a random conversation between MJ and Peter that Wanda and Vision ended up together in NYU.

Your felt your stomach flinch at the reminder of Vision stealing your college dream with Wanda. And you hated yourself for it. By that moment you should've been over Wanda, she didn't love you, there was no reason to grieve a love that never existed in the first place.

But you excused yourself to your friends and ran into the nearest bathroom to cry your heart out. You knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't help it.

After washing your face to prevent anyone to notice your were crying, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You couldn't keep going like that. You felt like you were a ghost: lifeless.

Wanda really hit different but you needed to change, to take control of your life again.

You knew what you needed to do.

You needed to move on from Wanda.

I know Pietro, she's great but, she's my best friend - Wanda said to her brother, tears dried all over her cheeks - I just never thought she would feel the same way. I didn't know what to say, I just wanted to run. Now I think it's all messed up, it's too late. There's nothing left to do. She probably hates me. But... I think I'm still in love with her.

Wanda had really screw things up with you.

She knew it.

She couldn't help it though, the moment you told her about your feelings she froze. She never expected that those words would ever came out from your mouth.

You loved her.

You really loved her.

How did she never notice it before?

And why did you never say anything?

She had so many questions running trough her mind.

It was prom night, she was about to leave with Vision, she wanted to stay a little longer but they were already late, you were there with Kate, she didn't even know you liked Kate, did you really like her? Why did you never mentioned it to her before? Why was she so mad when she found out?. You loved her. You loved her.

You loved her.

Maybe it was a joke.

She looked at you expecting for you to laugh and tell her it was all a joke.

But you didn't.

- Y/N... Why are you doing this? You know I... I can't, he's there and...

Vision and his parents were waiting for her. She just started walking as you kept apologizing. She felt numb through the rest of the night.

Her boyfriend and his family did the most of the talking during the dinner.

She couldn't focus on anything that wasn't you. She had just left you. Alone. You had poured you heart out for her and she left.

You probably were devastated.

But what was she supposed to do?

She really was clueless. Everything happened so fast. And for some reason she felt like she needed to stand up for Vision. But she probably got too defensive.

Oh god it was really a mess.

He was always right.

They used to have recurrent fights or disscusions because Vision felt like you liked Wanda more than just as a friend. But she always defend you from the accusations saying you were her best friend, nothing more. Maybe she tried so hard because she wanted to convince herself too.

That night she came home exhausted. She felt her body drained from any energy or motivation.

Her brother was still awake and when he heard she was back he walked to her room to ask about how her night went.

She tried to put on a brave face but the moment Pietro flashed her a warm smile she broke down in his arms crying.

She vent to her brother all night long, letting him know everything that had happened at prom with you.

He didn't seem too surprised when she mentioned your love for her. Instead he only hugged her harder.

Pietro had been there for his sister since forever, their twin bond was something sacred for them, they were each other's best friends and obviously, each other's best confident.

He could still remember when a little 10 year old Wanda confessed to him that she wanted to kiss you. Some kids at her school had have their first kiss at recess that day and Wanda wanted to have her first kiss. With you.

That conversation followed so many others about her little, pure and innocent attraction towards you.

As she grew older those confessions ceased but Pietro remained as the front row witness of your undeniable love for each other.

- What am I supposed to do Pietro? I'm just really confused.

The white-haired boy smiled kindly at her.

- What do you feel like doing? Wanda we both know very well that you used to have feelings for Y/N, let's not fool ourselves.

Her brother was right, Wanda was well aware of her old feelings for you. Although she had worked so hard to buried them in the deepest place of her heart and mind, she could still remember how it was.

Who could blame her? She thought that forget those feelings was the best decision in order to protect your friendship. She never expected that some day you would feel the same way.

But there she was. Crying in her prom dress, secured in the safety of her brother's embrace, regretting every single second of that night.

- I truly don't know what to do Pietro... I feel like such an idiot and a bad friend.

- No Wanda, you're a human, there isn't a correct way to react to this kind of situation, you act out of impulse and natural reaction, there's nothing wrong with that.

- But I feel so bad... Y/N didn't deserve that... What do I do Pietro? Tell me...

- No sestra - her brother told her with a soft voice - I know, guilt it's a tricky feeling, but you need to figure out how to solve this problem, you can take your time and think about it but in the end it's gonna be up to you... Not me, Vision or Y/N... It's your decision Wanda.

Pietro gently kissed her sister's forehead and walked back to his room.

Wanda barely slept that night, too busy thinking in every possibility.

The next morning she received a text from Vision asking how she was doing and letting her know that he was gonna post a picture of the both of them from last night. She quickly understood the not so discrete hint and also posted a picture. She didn't feel like writing any caption so she just limited herself to type a red heart emoji.

The days passed and she used any possible excuse to avoid seeing Vision. She felt so bad for him too, he was oblivious of the situation, it wasn't fair for him either that his girlfriend was having doubts about her love for him and their relationship. It wasn't fair for him that all Wanda could think about was you.

A week later she got a text message from you. The first text you had send her since prom.

She doubt about opening it or not. What if it was a letter telling her how much you hated her now, asking her to never come close to you again, that your friendship was over and from that moment on Wanda had no place in your life.

After twenty minutes of debating with herself she opened the text.

It wasn't what she expected.

The text was long, as she expected, but there wasn't any hate on it. It made her cry, the way you expressed yourself and the way you perfectly described your feelings. She felt terrible when you apologized for making her feel uncomfortable. You could never.

She would never let anyone know the content of the letter, it was something she decided to keep for herself. A secret between you and her for only your hearts to know, hence she never mentioned your text to anyone. Not even Pietro. The letter becoming the first secret between the Maximoff twins.

Wanda's life froze for days, she didn't isolate herself like you, she just felt dead-walking everywhere she went. She was physically there but her mind was somewhere else. She was thinking about you.

But your text was clear. You needed time and space away from her. It hurt like hell but she respected you decision. Even when she wasn't sure if she wanted for you to forget her.

She got accepted into NYU, just like Vision. Her family threw a party for her and for the very first time in years you weren't present in one of her celebrations. Not that Irina Maximoff didn't call you, but mostly because you politely declined her invitation making up some lame excuse, thanking her though.

Some time later she was packing her entire life in a set of gray suitcases, ready to take a flight to New York and start her new life at college with her boyfriend by her side. It sounded like a dream if you hear it that way.

But for Wanda everything was like a nightmare. NYU was her college dream just because she always thought you would be with her. She wasn't even sure of the path she was following, she didn't know if she really wanted to study there anymore.

Her relationship with Vision was fragile. Since prom night Wanda drastically changed her affection towards him. She didn't kiss him anymore, they only had been in a few two or three dates after and the PDA was completely gone.

Vision wasn't a stupid guy. He noticed this changes since the very first day, but decided to keep silence. For some reason he thought that Wanda would come around again once they were in college together.

But during the first weeks in NYU everything went downhill. They both had classes all day and different schedules, so they didn't had too much time left to spent together besides the weekends. But even those days Wanda always had an excuse to avoid any plan: homework, an exam to study for, books she had to read, etc.

Vision grew tired of it by the end of the fifth week, after Wanda had canceled him for the third time in a row. Not caring about the fact that the girl told him she needed to finish a report for one of her classes he walked straight to her dorm and knocked on her door.

- What are you doing here? Vision I told you...

- I know, I know what you said, but I'm tired of it - he interrupted her - Weeks Wanda, it's been weeks since the last time we had a date, weeks since the last time we spent time together, I don't know what's happening but I demand an explanation now...

Wanda stared at him.

- I don't know what are you talking about Vis, I have so many things to do and...

- No! - he interrupted again - This isn't something that started just now. I felt it since a long time ago - he paused for a few seconds, stepping in completely in the room closing the door for privacy -  Something happened at prom night, something changed that night... I don't know what it is but... Just tell me what is happening to us...

Wanda, who was now sat at the edge of her bed looked at him with teary eyes. She knew this had to happen at some point.

- I'm just tired Vision, I'm exhausted... - she said with trembling voice and some tears already falling on her cheeks - I'm going through so many changes in my life right now, I had this huge fight with my best friend and now we're not even talking anymore... Now I'm here in New York and I'm not even happy about it, I don't like the way my life is going right now... I'm not sure if NYU is what I really want and I'm questioning every decision I've made since the moment I decided to leave my prom party to go with you and your parents for dinner...

Vision didn't know what to respond to that. When he walked to her dorm that night he wasn't expecting this outcome.

- You wanted to stay? - he asked cautiously.

Wanda nodded.

- Why didn't you say anything then? We could've done something...

- I just thought that if told you I would've dissapoint you and your family. You are my boyfriend Vision, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the relationship... And at some point I felt like I needed to make you happy...

- But were you happy? In our relationship?

- In the beginning, yes, I was delighted with the idea of us, of you... You made me really happy Vision... But then we started having all this problems and I always felt like a was giving too much without getting anything back.

- And why did you never say anything? - he said exasperated.

Vision wasn't one of those boys who are bad boyfriends and are aware of it. He truly didn't saw any of this coming.

He listened to Wanda attentive, letting her express every single thing she had to say. And as the girl talked he realized how trash of a boyfriend he was. He was respectful and never treated her bad, but he took Wanda for granted, not being the same boyfriend she fell for at the beginning. He understood the girl's disappointment on him, and as much as he wanted there was no way to turn back time.

After forthy minutes of talking, he stood for up from his seat in her bed, hugged her one last time and started walking out of the room.

- I'm sorry I wasn't a better boyfriend, you deserve so much better, I'm sorry this didn't work out - those were his last words for her before closing the door.

Wanda remained in her place for some seconds before start crying. She called her brother, although she knew it was probably and odd time in Switzerland she didn't know what else to do or who else to call for comfort. Vision was her boyfriend after all, they had been together for almost three years and it was impossible for her not to feel a hole in her heart. That night she cried her heart out, and did not attend her classes the next day, too energy drained to take a step out of her room.

Eventually she got better. After three weeks she bounce back from the break up. Although she still had a lot of issues to deal with, she felt relieved. For some reason it felt like someone had taken away some of the weight on her shoulders. She felt lighter.

Los Angeles

You were doing a lot better. Two months after your last break down you were happier than in the earliest months of college.

You decided to focus your attention on anything else but Wanda. You started to study a lot harder, focusing more on your notes and classes, and also got yourself into a hobbie: tennis.

Kate was in the tennis team since the beginning of the year, and when you told her you were looking for extra curricular classes she suggested her club.

You used to occasionally visit her during her trainings, you already knew the coaches and the rest of the team, so you figured it wouldn't be so hard to fit in.

The coaches were happy to welcome you and a few days later after filling your proper application you were officially in. The only condition was to do some extra training for some weeks until you could keep up with the pace of some of the other new girls. You promised to train after hours until you were as good as them.

That's how you met Sharon Carter.

The first day you stayed after hours to train you noticed immediately a blond, beautiful girl who arrived at the practice court about ten minutes after the other girls left.

You didn't recognized her, she wasn't part of the team, or anyone you've seen before.

She was also surprised to see anyone staying later in the tennis court after the usual practice.

- Oh hey, hi - you said approaching to her with a kind smile.

- Hello, uhmm I'm Sharon, Sharon Carter...

- I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/LN, a pleasure... Are you new here?

She laughed a little, denying with her head.

- No, I don't study here, I'm coach Peggy's niece, she allows me to use the court sometimes after her team's practice.

- Ohh, well it's a pleasure... I'm new in the team and I need to practice more hours to keep up with the rest... So I guess you'll see me around here more often

She smiled kindly.

- That's great, it will be good to have some company.

You smiled kindly and nodded.

A month after your first encounter Sharon became one of closest friends. You two had so much in common, you liked the same kind of music and most of your favorite sitcoms were also her favorites, so naturally you spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other deeper.

She told you about her sabbatical year and how she was still thinking about what college she would go to.

Eventually you became a better tennis player, but even when the coaches told you there was no need for you keep staying after hours, you kept doing it to spend time with her. And she would visit your dorm on a daily bases after classes

When Peter, MJ and Kate got to know her they didn't hesitate to start to tease you, referring to Sharon from that moment on, as your girlfriend. You just smiled shyly denying whth your head. Of course, Sharon was beautiful, but you couldn't say you were something more than just good friends.

You wouldn't even thought of that possibility until some weeks later when she suddenly asked you out. It wasn't that explicit, but the invitation was kind of obvious.

- Do you want to do something tomorrow? Like go to see a movie or have dinner? - she asked you nervously one afternoon while you were doing homework at your dorm.

- Sure - you answered without thinking too much - Where do you wanna go?

She paused for a second and you looked at her intrigued.

- Sharon?

She looked back at you smiling shyly.

- Well, I was thinking on going to have dinner at a nice restaurant, you know I have a reservation and everything...

- Oh - you said surprised but smiling too - Like a date?

She nodded nervously.

- Yes... Like a date... Would you like to go in a date with me?

Long story short, that date was the first out of so many others that followed it right after. You had a great time with her, and the affection felt almost natural between you.

Sharon never mentioned and label for the two of you, she would only say you were dating. She probably didn't want to push you, and you were thankful for it.

But she did used to hold your hand, kiss you, take you out, wait for you after classes and open all the doors for you. And you of course, reciprocated every kind action to her. You two were basically a couple without the label.

The first vacation came sooner than you thought and you found yourself saying goodbye to Sharon with your luggage ready on your cab to take you to the airport.

- You know, you can visit me anytime - you said kissing her on the lips - If you need anything just call me okay?

She nodded and promised to visit you during your break, she would stay in Los Angeles for a while.

You knew it was a weird situation for you. Sharon was beautiful, kind, funny and you could definitely say you had feelings for her.

But deep down you knew Wanda was going to be back in town too, and you were well aware of the possibilities of you two finding each other at some places. It was impossible not to considering it was a three month break from college.

You felt you were doing a good job keeping her away from your mind. But you didn't know how it would affect your progress seeing her again. You weren't sure if she would speak to you, or if she would just pretend you didn't exist.

----------------

Being back at home was good. You had missed your parents more than you would admit, and you definitely missed your mom's meals, finally getting to eat homemade food for the first time in months.

Your first week back was calm. You stayed at home most of the time hanging wi your parents and called Shaeron every night before going to bed.

It was the very first day of your second week when everything took a turn. You were talking with your mom about college and your classes when she mentioned Wanda.

- She left college after her first three months, she's been home since then and looking for a new option.

You were surprised to hear the news. NYU was Wanda's dream since forever, and you couldn't understand why she would drop it.

- She didn't tell you? - your mom asked at your astonishment.

She never heard the story of why you and Wanda stopped talking. In fact, she didn't even know you two weren't friends anymore.

- No, we've been distant since prom, we had a fight and we just... We're not friends.

- Oh I'm sorry honey, but maybe you can talk it out with her and fix things up, you two have been best friends for so long... Don't let this ruin all those years of friendship...

You smiled sadly nodding your head, not wanting to keep discussing about it.

On wednesday you, Kate, MJ and Peter went to the theater to watch the new terror movie. They mentioned some of your old high school friends were tagging along but you never expected to see Wanda. Ever since she dated Vision she stopped going out with your group of friends.

But she was there. It felt like slow motion for you. You were already inside the the theater when she stepped in. She looked at you shyly while greeting all of your other friends, never breaking eye contact with you.

When she was in front of you she hugged you tightly.

- Hi Y/N

You reciprocated the affection dumbly.

- Hi Wanda

- How are you doing? - she asked.

- I'm good - you answered shortly, awkwardly smiling - How are you doing?... My mom told me about NYU... I'm sorry it didn't work out.

She sighed.

- Yeah well, I'm better now, I realized it wasn't what I needed or wanted and I just dropped it...

You nodded.

- I hope you find something soon, you're brilliant, any school will be lucky to have you.

She smiled.

-Thank you Y/N...

Peter said the movie was about to start and you two followed him inside.

Wanda sat two spots from you, Kate and MJ in the middle and Peter on your other side. Some of your other friends sat next to Peter.

The rest of the group probably didn't notice it, but there was a certain tension between you and Wanda through the whole movie.

She was nervous.

From the moment Kate told her you were gonna be there she imagined a thousand of different scenarios of how it would be like.

Just like you, she wasn't sure if you would speak to her. After your last message to her she didn't have any contact with you. Not even when she wanted to tell you about her situation with college.

She knew she hurt in the past, but she missed your friendship more than anything. Even though she had deeper feelings for you, she would be happy if you wanted to be her friend again.

You, on the other hand, were really confused about how you felt. You thought that you would feel anger the moment you saw her, but you just felt awkward around her. Even after she broke your heart in a thousand pieces you didn't feel mad. Maybe those months of healing really made progress in you.

When the movie finished everybody said goodbye and walked to their respective car. When you were about to leave you saw Wanda texting on her phone and walking to sit on a bench.

You wanted to just ignored her and go back home but you just couldn't. So, against any common sense you walked straight to her.

- Hey, are you going home now?

She looked at you a bit confused.

- Yeah, well I'm texting Pietro to see if he's on his way, he told me he would pick me up...

You nodded.

- Oh sure, I forgot Pietro was home too... How is he doing? - you asked.

- He's fine, he told me he's doing great at college and at the athlete team... Ohh and that he met a girl, I think her name is Monica... They've been dating for a while now..

You smiled.

- Wow, I would never imagined Pietro finally settling down... That's fantastic.

- I know, he's really happy.

There was a moment of silence interrupted by a ding on her phone.

- Dang it... - she said after reading the text.

- What's wrong?

- Pietro forgot to pick me up... He's leaving the house just now....

You looked at her texting. You knew you would probably regret your next comment but you couldn't just leave her there at a parking lot.

- Tell him not to worry, I'll take you home - you said.

She looked at you surprised.

- Really?

You smiled kindly.

- Yeah, just like the old times, let me drive you home Wanda.

She accepted and the two of you walked to your car.

You turned the music on and drove to her house. But even with the noise from the radio, it felt like there was a dead silence in the car.

After the first three minutes she finally got the courage to speak.

- So, are you doing well? How is it like living in Los Angeles?

- It's been great so far, college has been fun and I really like the city, it's amazing.

- That's great to hear Y/N, I'm really happy for you.

- Thanks.

Another moment of silence. You decided to be the one to speak this time.

- I know I said this before but I'm sorry about NYU, it must have been really difficult to take a decision like that...

Wanda sighed nodding.

- Yes, it was, but at the same time it was easy for me to understand that it wasn't something I liked, it just never felt right... The hardest part was telling my parents... That was scary.

- Yeah, I can imagine... But your parents love you, I bet they understood...

- Yes they did, although they asked me like a million times if I was sure... They even made me doubt sometimes...

You both laughed.

- Oh missed this - she said smiling.

Your laugh died and you swallowed nervously.

- What? - you asked.

She looked at you.

- Us. I miss you Y/N, so much... I miss our friendship.

You weren't expecting that answer. You didn't know what to say, although it was obvious you had miss those moments too. And it only made you feel guilty.

- Wanda... I'm sorry I ruined everything for us... I shouldn't have tell you anything that night...

You didn't look back at her, but she did look at you.

- Y/N, you didn't ruin anything... That night it was me the one that screwed up.

- No - you answered - You had a boyfriend and I was your best friend, I wasn't supposed to feel anything other than a friendship... And even if I did I should never tell you just because you were happy with Vision... I should've respected that.

Another silence.

- Can we please drive somewhere else to talk? - she asked.

-To talk? - you asked unsure of what it meant.

- Yes, I feel we need to sort this out, I really miss you Y/N... I wanna try to restore our old friendship... If you want it too, of course.

You thought about it before answering. After some seconds you changed the car direction.

- Yeah, let's talk.

You drove to a nearly park. It was getting kind of late and the place it was almost empty, just a few people walking by. Wanda found a bench for the two of you.

- I don't know what to say - you admitted nervously.

She looked at you.

- Well, first of all, I want you to know that you didn't ruin anything... I understand the reasons why you choose to cut contact with me, if anything I was the one to ruin our friendship, the way I reacted wasn't the best... I'm sorry for making you feel bad.

- Wanda...

- Let me finish - she interrupted you - I know you feel bad because you said you love me, but I want you to understand that I could have had a better reaction... Leave you alone in the hallway was the worst thing I've done.

- It's fine Wanda, you were respecting your relationship and Vision...

- I just wanted to say sorry Y/N, i wish I would had a better reaction.

You nodded.

- I appreciate your apology, but don't worry about it anymore ... I already forgive everything.

- You did? - she asked curious.

- Yes, I realized you were shocked with my confession... There was no way you would've react differently...

- Maybe it was... But there's no way to turn back time right? At least I finally got it out of my system, I wanted to apologize a long time ago.

You smiled kindly. The two of you stared at the sky in silence.

- Your text, the letter you sent me... I think I understood better after reading it... - Wanda said - Thanks for saying all of the nice stuff about me, you really are a goof friend...

- All I said was true Wanda, we've been best friends for so long I couldn't get myself to hate you.. I mean I probably felt like hating you back then, but that was probably more sadness than hate... But all the things I wrote were completely true.

She smiled and hugged you. The affection surprised you, but you just smiled and reciprocated the hug.

- So it's all good between us? - you asked - I want my best friend back.

- Yes! - she answered excited - Yes, everything is fine. 

You smiled at her.

- I'm glad.

She was bouncing her feet happily.

- Now tell everything about UCLA, how you've been doing there?

You told her everything about college, your classes, your friends, about your tennis games and everything than ran through your mind in that moment.

You mentioned Sharon briefly, not paying too much attention to the details of your relationship with her.

And the she dropped the bomb: she told you she broke up with Vision.

She explained to you her reasons to end up the relationship and you did nothing but listen.

And when she cried, telling you about her breakdown in college and the moment she decided to leave, you hold her. For a moment it truly felt like you went back in time.

You drove Wanda to her home, and she told you she would call you to make plans for the rest of the summer.

Pietro said hi from his window and you smiled at the sight of your friend.

On the way back home you smiled to yourself. You had a warm feeling on your chest and felt butterflies in your stomach.

Everything was perfect for some days. You and Wanda spent more time together, you even helped her send her application letter to different universities, including UCLA. She wasn't sure at first, but you talked wonders about the college and about how amazing it would be to have her at campus until she finally accepted. It was only a matter of time to hear back from the universities.

But the following week you noticed Peter and Kate get suspicious and secretive around you. At the beginning you thought it was a little bit odd, but then they started to laugh everytime you walked into a room.

It got to a point where the situation became unbearable.

- Okay what is happening? - you finally asked them one day before getting into the movies.

Kate looked at you nervously.

- What....What do you mean? Nothing is happening...

You looked at Peter.

- You will tell me what is happening Peter Parker... Everytime I walk into a room you two laugh and  you've been too secretive lately.

They looked at each other.

- Let's tell her Peter, she will have too know anyways - Kate said.

- Tell me what? - you asked confused - I'm not mad or anything I just want to know...

Peter sighed.

- We planned a surprise with Sharon... She's coming to visit in three days.

It ttok you a second to react, and when your brain finally understood what they just said you couldn't help but smile.

- Really? She's coming?

- Yes - Kate answered happily.

- Why didn't you tell me before? I could have help her... Does she have a flight yet? Or do you want me to...

Peter interrupted you, giggling at your excitement.

- Hey Y/N, don't worry, everything is fine and ready, she'll be here in three days, her flight lands on Saturday at noon...

You smiled again and thank them both for their help.

Wanda arrived later that afternoon. Neither of you mentioned Sharon through the whole movie, it was just when you were driving Wanda home when she noticed you were happier than other days. Peter and Kate were in the car with you too cause you asked them to go to house to arrange everything for Saturday.

- You look pretty happy today Y/N - she told you.

- Well, I feel really happy Wanda - you answered with a smile.

- Can I know why? - she asked happily too.

That's the moment it dawned to you. You never told Wanda about your relationship with Sharon. And as you were thinking of this realization, Peter was faster than you to answer to her.

- She's happy because her girlfriend is coming to visit her on Saturday - he explained.

- What?! Your girlfriend?! - she asked confused.

Wanda was shocked to say the least. You never mentioned a girlfriend on the days before, and the news hit her like a bucket of ice water. She didn't know how to feel about it.

You two were recently fixing your friendship. She didn't know if you were still having feelings for her cause she never asked you in order to not jeopardize what you had. But a girlfriend was a factor she didn't consider.

- Yes! Her name is Sharon, we've been planning this surprise for days - Kate explained.

That's when you interfiered.

- She's not my girlfriend - you said nervously looking through the mirror to see your friends - Sharon is my friend, I think I mentioned her before...

Wanda tried to remember and she slightly nodded. She remembered that name.

- So... she's not your girlfriend? - Wanda asked.

You looked at her unsure of what to say.

- Well... It's complicated, we've been dating for a few months now, but we haven't... You know... Make it official

She nodded again as she swallowed dry.

- Maybe it's time Y/N - Kate interrupted - You could ask her now that she's coming... We can help you!

Peter second Kate on the idea and they started rambling about it.

But you noticed a change in Wanda's behavior. She wasn't laughing anymore. Suddenly she got quiet.

You bumped her shoulder to caught her attention.

- Hey, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my relationship with Sharon, and it's not because I didn't want to... I just forget about it to be honest, and as I said, Sharon and I... We're not officially together yet, we're just... - before you could finish your sentence she interrupted.

- Hey Y/N, it's fine, don't freak out about it... It's just it took me by surprise, but I'm happy to see you happy...

She gave you a reassuring little smile.

- Thanks for understand Wanda... It's been difficult for me to open myself to this feelings... I think it's the first time I I say I'm dating Sharon out loud.

_ I get it, it can be complicated, but don't worry Y/N, if you and Sharon are comfortable with what you have, you don't need to rush it.

You smiled and her.

_ Thank you - you said.

It looked like the conversation about Sharon died right there, but the moment Wanda stepped in her house, she walked straight to her brother's room.

- I just don't know how to feel Pietro... I'm really confuse. I know it might sound selfish to say but I can't believe she didn't tell me before about this girl.... Everything would have been different

- What would've been different? - he asked

- Well, you know, the approach with her... You know I like her Pietro, since we were little, and now that i broke up with Vision... I thought she was single... You know what I mean.

Pietro analyzed her sister's expression.

- You were expecting to date her?

She sighed.

- Well, not straighly date her but... I was expecting some sort of awakening for us... The start of something more.

Pietro looked at her worried.

- Wanda, don't joke around this... You know she loved you, but now with this new information maybe it would be better if you move cautiously... I wouldn't want for you to get hurt.

Wanda buried her head in her hands desesperatly.

- I truly believed this would be our chance... We could be something more...

- You can daydream all you want Wanda, but the truth is, she has a girlfriend now and you have to accept it. And let me be honest with you, I don't think it was correct from you to go close to her with those ulterior motives, if you wanted to date her you should have told her before offer a friendship.

- No, I truly want  to fix up our friendship, it is the most important thing for me to save. I just thought it would be nice if something else happened...

Pietro sighed.

- Well, I wish you good luck sestra, when this Sharon girl arrives  you're gonna need to find the strength to see her fooling around with Y/N, and I can tell you, it's not gonna be nice...

Wanda barely slept that night. She imaged how would it be with Sharon around. And she thought that it was probably what you felt when she started dating Vision, you had to see her with another person, basically being replaced.

Ohh, only if she knew back then about your feelings. For sure everything would be different.

And she wasn't wrong.

From the moment you picked up Sharon at the airport you two became inseparable, although she was stying at Kate's house cause she basically lived in the Bishop's mansion, so there was more than enough room for her.

Wanda told you to enjoy the first days with her alone. She said you could show her the town and explore the place together, she would tag along later.

You thought it was a good idea. But you also noticed a changed in Wanda's behavior since Peter and Kate mentioned Sharon was your girlfriend. You didn't want to speculate around her feelings, but you couldn't help but ask if she was feeling left out, or replaced. You two were recently getting close again and you didn't want anything to jinx the progress.

But no, Wanda said she wanted to be your friend again. Nothing more.

Sharon was being a delight, as always. Being with her was easy, you never had to think too much about it. And that was probably what you liked more. But now, with her in town you felt tlike something was missing. Sharon made you happy, and she was a good company, but something felt odd at the thought of being more than just... that.

However, you took her to all the fun and interesting places around, telling her a little about the local stories. Peter and Kate sometimes would go with you, but they left you alone as much as possible, totally rooting for you two.

It was on her fifth day there when you planned to visit the amusement park with Sharon, Kate, Peter, Wanda and some other friends.

Wanda was a nervous wreck to say the least. She was wondering how this new dynamic would be. She knew you would spend more time with your girlfriend, she knew you would kiss her and hols her hand and make her laugh. So she prepared herself to control any sort of jealousy reaction she could have.

But the reality hit her as soon as you parked in front of her house to pick her up. She naturally walked to the copilot seat, only to find a blonde girl already sitting there.

- Hey Wanda, this is Sharon Carter, my friend from college. Sharon this Wanda, my best friend - you made the introductions, and the two girls smiled, saying how pleasure was to meet each other.

- I guess you're having a backseat today Maximoff - Kate said, opening the door for her.

- Yeah, I guess today I will be third-wheeling you and Peter back there - Wanda replied, laughing at the guy's reaction.

You laughed at the joke too. Luckily for her you didn't noticed that the  passive aggressive answer to Kate was because she felt uncomfortable with the situation.

The rest of the days didn't turn easier for her. You would spent most of your time with Sharon, making silly jokes and fooling around.

Wanda undoubtedly felt jealous. She couldn't help it. And she hated herself for making you feel the same way when she was with Vision.

At some point she just stopped showing up for your get-togethers. She knew she was being selfish, but seeing you with Sharon was driving her mad. Everytime she tried to spend time with you, Sharon had to be there.

But her breaking point reached her on Kate's birthday party. In the middle of the reunion, Sharon's parents called her and she walked up stairs to attend the call.

Wanda found you sitting alone in the sofa and she decided to go talk to you. She was finally having your attention all to herself, you were telling her some dumb joke about ballons, a little bit flushed because of the drinks you had that night, your hair alredy a mess after dancing... She thought you looked beautiful. She tucked a hair behind your ear and you smiled sweetly at her...

It was a very cute moment, just you two talking, so close from each other. Until a pair of arms suround you from behind, you looked up from your seat on the couch and smiled at Sharon.

- Hey! Did you finished the call with your parents? - you asked her.

- Yeah... They just wanted to know about my week but a cut the call soon to be back... Did i miss anything? - she asked, looking at Wanda and you.

- No, i was just telling some jokes, and Wanda was the lucky one to hear them - you said.

Sharon hugged you tighly and Wanda wanted nothing more but dissapear.

- Oh well, i hope Wanda doesn't mind but i need to steal you for a second... there is something i wanna tell you.

Wanda denied with her head.

- Oh no, it´s alright, i was about to leave anyways... Pietro is in his way to take me home so... I should be getting ready.

You said goodbye to Wanda and followed Sharon out to the garden. Wanda remained in place, looking at your hands intertwined with Sharon as you walked out. She left the house as soon as you were out of her sight.

Sharon Carter was a very intelligent girl. Her aunt Peggy taught her to be perceptive, to pay attention to the little details, so it was no surprise to know that she almost immediately noticed the tension between you and Wanda.

She wasn't aware of the full story, she only knew that you and Wanda had a fight before leaving for the university, but it was fixed almost immediately as soon as you had the opportunity to talk about it.

But she had a feeling that there was something more than just "friendship" problems. And that feeling sting her harder the moment she saw you and Wanda talking on the couch. She was too close to your face, and the smile you were giving to her... She needed to do something.

That is the reason why, that night, she asked you to be her girlfriend. You were a bit tipsy, and the euphoria of the moment made you say yes to her right away.

It was just the next morning, when you woke up a little hangover when you realized what had happened last night. You wanted to feel happy, but something just didn't feel right.

Sharon was a great a person, and you knew she would be an amazing girlfriend but now that you were official, something felt off to you.

Perhaps it was because it took you so long to be an actual couple. However, you couldn't just go and tell her you weren't sure about being her girlfriend. You felt some sort of responsibility towards her, like you needed to respond to her feelings. You couldn't just ask her to go back to just date again.

So you got use to the idea of being girlfriends. It couldn't be that bad. At the end, you liked her, she liked you. It could actually work.

Wanda found out about your, now official, relationship a few days later. She noticed how Sharon started to use pet names with you "Babe this... Babe that". She also started to be more affectioned towards you, increasing the PDA at a hundred percent.

She cried once you confirmed it to her. Not in front of you, of course, but at the safety of her room.

She knew she didn't have any right to feel that way, but she couldn't help it. She wish it was easier to let you go.

You still tried to make time for her though, not wanting to jeopardize your just restored friendship. But Sharon always wanted to tag along in your plans. One day Wanda just stopped going out with you, avoiding any uncomfortable moment between your girlfriend and her.

You noticed this change in her behaviour, and when you expressed this concerns with Sharon, she just brush it off saying: Well, perhaps it's for the best, that way we can make more plans for the both of us.

You were confused at her answer, but you just let it go. You'll make plans with Wanda later to talk to her alone. Sharon, in the other hand, made her goal to keep you as away from Wanda as possible.

In the latest days of summer your friends planned a weekend getaway to go camping. Wanda didn't want to go, but everyone told her it would be fun. She turned down every invitation until you were the one to ask her to go. When you knocked on her door that night she didn't find the strength to say no to you. It would be just one night though.

So, there she was, walking next to Kate and Peter looking for a good place to establish the camp. You were walking some steps ahead of them with Sharon by your side, and Wanda was already regretting going.

You had planned spend time with her during the camp. That's why, the moment you found the right place, you asked Wanda to help you set up the tents, meanwhile, Kate asked Sharon to help her take out from the cars all the food they brought.

Sharon walked away, not without giving you a last glance. All she saw was Wanda smiling at you while you read the instructions for the tent.

At night, Sharon asked to talk to you in private. You had spend all the day bounding with Wanda, laughing and making jokes, and you could tell Sharon wasn't happy at all.

- I just don't understand why are you so determined on spending time with her... I'm your gilfriend and i'm here, you should be spending more time with me - she said.

- Sharon, i'm sorry if you felt left out, but Wanda is my best friend... we've been distant lately and i wanted to spend more time with her before the summer ends.. you and me, we alredy spent a lot of time together...

She sighed.

- I know baby, but she needs to understand you have a girlfriend now, that she is not your main priority anymore... Now, please, let's just go to eat some smores and have a fun night.

You just nodded and she kissed you.

You were mad at her. For some reason. Deep down in you, a tiny voice was trying to scream. And that voice was saying that Wanda would always be your main priority.

Later at night, when you found yourself unable to sleep, you sneaked out of the tent you shared with Sharon. You were surprise to find Wanda sitting next to the campfire.

- Hey... Can't sleep? - you asked to caught her attention.

She turned to look at you.

- Yeah, something like that... Kate snores - she said smiling.

- Ohh really? - you laughed - That's quite funny... So you can't sleep because of her snores?

She nodded.

- Yep, i'm kind of a light sleeper, any sound can keep me awake all night.

- Well, then i'll be glad to stay awake all night with you - you said taking a seat next to her.

- Are you sure you want to do that? - she asked- I kind of noticed that Sharon...

You interrumpted her.

- I know, but i don't care. Wanda you're my best friend, if i wanna spend time with you i will spend time with you... I'll deal with Sharon later.

Wanda felt nostalgic at your words.

- What's wrong? - you asked.

She looked at you.

- It's just that... your a better friend than i am. You have a girlfriend and still try to make time for me... i never did that back when i was with Vision.

You smiled at her words.

- Wanda... we are kind of adults now, if i kept acting like when i was in high school i would have a problem. I'm more mature now, i guess i can have a girlfriend and a best friend. You were younger and he was your first boyfriend, i now understand why you acted like that.

- This is what i'm talking about, you're a better person than me Y/N, i don't deserve you.

- Hey don't say that. You are one of the best persons i know Wanda, you can't keep punishing yourself for things you did when you were 16. Like i said the other day at the park, i forgive you, i did it a long time ago.

She looked at the sky.

- I just wish things were different. If only i could turn back time... - she said desperate.

- Wanda please stop, let's just enjoy this moment, okay?

You offered her a hug that she replied immediately. Then you just chill under the stars.

- I got into UCLA - she said out of nowhere after some minutes.

- What? - you asked excited - Are you serious?

She nodded her head smiling.

- Yes, the letter came in this morning... I got in.

- Wanda that is amazing... we will be together in college, like we always dreamed about!

You kept celebrating her for some more minutes and then you just went on talking about the campus and the city.

Wanda watched you in awe, how your eyes sparkled when you talked, the way you smiled and expressed. And she fell deeper for you. When she heard you talk about your future plans with her she couldn't help but daydream about a life by your side.

She daydreamed about living with you, being your girlfriend, marrying you, having kids with you... God, she wanted you bad.

That's why, immersed in the euphoria of the moment, the next words came out of her mouth.

- I love you so much...

And your whole world stopped right there. You stopped your explanation of why your dorm hall was the best in the campus to look at her straight in the eyes.

- What?

Wanda knew there was no turning back. She said it, and she decided to stand to her words.

- I love you so much Y/N, you really don't have and idea of how much. I love your eyes, your voice, your personality; i love your stupid jokes about life... I love how you talk, how you move, how you walk. I love how you treat me, how you protect me. I love how, despite everything i've done, you're still by my side... I think i just love everything about you.

You hear her speak and your heart beat at hundred times per second. The words you always wanted to hear, she was finally saying them.

- Wanda, what are you talking about? - you asked, still in disbelief.

The girl's heart was about to explode. But she needed to keep talking, she couldn't stopped just then.

- Y/N I don't expect you to reciprocate my feelings, not after everything I put you through... But i just need to come clean, can i be honest with you?

You nodded dumbly. You had so many questions, but you knew nothing would come out of your mouth. So you let her talk.

- Y/n i drop out off college because of you, and before you blame yourself, it was mostly because i missed you... You and i had a dream, going to NYU together was our thing, and it shouldn't have been with Vision... I guess, not only the college thing but everyhting, it was never Vision. It was you all along. You were my first love Y/N, i shouldn't have give up on you... on us. Yes, our friendship is the most important thing for me, but if we could be something more... Ughh, now things are just weird between us, and that sucks... and i miss you - she knew she was rambling, but she needed to get everything out - and now you're with someone else, and that's fine but, i just wish it was me... Because even when i made mistakes, it was always you.

When she finished talking you were loss for words. Your heart, your mind, nothing was working correctly. It was like the whole world faded because Wanda told you she loved you.

That's all your mind registered: she loved you.

- Wanda... i don't know what to say to be honest - you said.

She was a mess, her heart was beating like crazy, she was all flustered because of the nerves and her whole body was shaking. She wanted to hear your answer, but she was also afraid of what she might hear.

- I wish things were different too... - you said looking at her - You know, i'm really confuse right now. Sharon... she's someone special to me, i wouldn't want to hurt her, i guess now i understand what you felt about Vision. But, i want to be honest with you too... I don't want to lose you again, you're even more special to me... I want you to be in my life forever. It truly seems like timing never work for us, right? - you joked, making her smile a little - We can be friends Wanda, i'm really excited to be in college with you, if you want that too... I just don't want to lose you.

She started to cry.

- Oh Y/N, i would love to be in your life forever, even if you're not with me, i don't want to lose you either... Thanks for giving me a second chance.

You hugged her even tighter than before, now crying as well. You two stood there for some minutes, melting in each other's embrace. When you broke the hug you noticed it was almost 2 am, so you decided to go back to your tent, wishing her good luck with Kate's snores.

You didn't have much sleep that night though. Your mind kept you up all night.

Wanda told you she love you. She confessed her feelings for you and now it was up to you to take the chance. You looked to your side and found Sharon sleeping soundly. You knew it was unfair for her that you felt that way, but you couldn't deny your feelings: deep down you knew it was Wanda, cause it had always been Wanda.

The next morning you and your friends left the camp and went back home. Sharon noticed you were a little bit quite, but when she asked you about it you just said it was because you hadn't sleep well. Wich wasn't completely a lie.

You spent two days more with her before she flied back to Los Angeles. She was excited cause she got her acceptance letter from Princeton. You were happy for her too, but the situation made you wonder about your future with her. She wouldn't be around UCLA anymore, and that would change your whole dynamic.

She told you not to worry, kissed you one last time and went back home.

In the remaining days you prepared your luggage to return to the university.

Wanda was in some sort of trance. After you told her to be just friends she felt happy cause you would still be in her life, but she also was sad because it wasn't in the way she wanted.

When she told everything to Pietro he told her it was brave to come clean with you, but he was also worried for her sister's feelings.

- I know Y/N well enough to know she won't hurt you, but i'm worried you two are making a mistake. This whole thing of "let's just be friends" can be risky for the both of you.

She just replied:

- We're still friends and that's all that matters, we'll live our college dream together and everything will be fine.

You flied back to Los Angeles, now with Wanda and her parents.

Pietro flied back to Switzerland.

And Sharon flied to New Jersey.

The first weeks of the course went normal. Wanda loved the campus and was thrilling because you were there with her. You showed to her all of your favorite spots and you two settle a schedule to spend time together, mostly studying.

Wanda immediately felt the change from NYU. She was genuinely excited for her classes, she genuinely loved the school, she didn't have to pretend cause she felt happier.

You were happier with her there too. Although something was still feeling out of place.

You thought it was because Sharon wasn't there anymore. You used to call her every night to tell her about your day. She told you all about her campus and her program. You listened to her attentive, but she knew something was off. She could feel it too.

But both of you were too afraid to mention it.

The days passed, and everything felt like a roller coaster for you: in the day everything was exciting and brilliant because you spent it with Wanda. But at night, when you talked to Sharon over the phone, everything felt wrong. Every night you went to sleep with a pit in your stomach wondering why you couldn't be happy with Sharon, but why you felt so complete with Wanda.

Sharon Carter was a very intelligent girl. From the moment you told her Wanda was going to be with you at UCLA she knew you two were doomed. She didn't have to know your complete history with Wanda to know she was someone special for you. Someone who she couldn't compete with, cause she'll always lose to Wanda if it was up to you.

But as intelligent and perceptive as she was, she was firstly, a girl in love. So, leaving behind any insecurity, she was hoping you would chose her. That's why she tried to make things work for the two of you, for as long as she could. A month was enough to completely wear out your relationship.

As intense as her love was, she knew she couldn't alter the course of fate. She recognized that you had alredy found your way with another person, and Sharon understood that she had to let you go, accepting that this time, she couldn't change the destiny of your love.

Sharon called you, like every night. But this time there wasn't any softness in her voice. You knew, from the moment she said you needed to talk, what was the night was heading to.

The conversation was long, tired, and full of regretness. She regretted meeting you. You regretted taking it too far. Both of you regretted making each other so unhappy.

Needless to say, it wasn't an amicable breakup. She cried and you didn't stop asking for forgiveness until she said goodbye and hang up the phone.

You spent your night alone. You cried, but when the sadness left your body completely, you felt lighter. As if the crying had washed away the guilt and the weight from your soul.

The next day you told Wanda about your break up with Sharon. She asked you if you were okay and you mindelessly said yes.

- C'mon Y/N, you know you can be vulnerable with me, there's no need to put on a brave face.

You insisted that everything was fine, and after a few more attempts, she dropped the subject to avoid making you uncomfortable.

She was surprised to hear the news. Sharon seemed like a nice girl, and even when she knew she wasn't veey comfortable with your frienship, she wanted for you to be happy.

She tried to avoid having any inappropriate thoughts, but she couldn't stop herself to wonder about you and her. She knew you had just come out of a relationship, everything was still too fresh, but deep down, a flicker of hope had ignited in her.

You on the other hand was confused with yourself. You wanted to feel bad, to be sad, to grieve your relationship with Sharon. You felt like a complete idiot for not feeling bad. God, your girlfriend had broken up with you, and it had mostly been your fault, but you couldn't feel sad. After crying that first night when you broke up, you never cried again. Now what you felt was guilt for feeling nothing.

Some days later Wanda asked Pietro to call you. She was worried about you cause she thought you were keeping all your pain to yourself. So she decided to call in the big guns.

When you saw Pietro's name on the phone you were excited but a little confused. He made small talk for a while and told you about Switzerland and his girlfriend. When he finally dropped the bomb on why he called you, you couldn't say you were surprised.

- She's just worried about you Y/N.

You sighed.

- I know, but there's no need to be worried, i'm fine.

- Y/N, i'm on the other side of the world and i can tell you're not fine, i can hear ir in your voice. Wanda thinks you're keeping it all to yourself and she just wants you to have someone to talk.

You knew there was no use in trying to denied anymore. Pietro was a close friend. You grew up together as well. He was like a brother to you. That's why you decided to finally speak to him.

- It's just that... I have nothing to talk about Pietro.

You told him all your concerns about your break up with Sharon and you vent with him.

He listened to you carefully, not saying anything at first.

- Why do I feel like crap? - you asked when you finished - I really wanted this relationship to work, i felt something for Sharon, without a doubt. But when things fell apart i felt almost relived that it was over... I'm such a jerk.

- No, you're not, everyone has a way to cope, and just because you're not miserable and sulking doesn't mean you're bad, please don't torture yourself over it. You truly believed you wanted to be with her, you gave your best effort in that relatioship but you can't force yourself to love someone. Sharon was special, but maybe you tried too hard to love her. But why?

You felt your heart racing at his question. You knew damn well why.

- I think i was afraid of what could happen if i wasn't with Sharon.

- So you used her... and don't get me wrong, it can be really fun as a distraction, but when it's over, you think about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart. Maybe that's why you feel nothing but freedom. Now you can make your own decisions Y/N.

You ended the call a minutes later.

For some days you thought about what Pietro said. You were experiencing so many emotions that you asked Wanda to suspend you study sessions together for a few days.

Wanda thought you were taking time apart from her because of your break up. Maybe you wanted time for yourself without her.

It sucked for her cause she believed you were best friends again. But even if you weren't her best friend, she knew you would always be friends.

It was almost ironic. You two never got the timing right. She shot you down and then you did the same to her and now...

She needed to focus her attention on something else.

She sent you a text letting you know she would be at the volleyball tryouts, so if you needed anything you'll knew where to find her.

You texted her back a thumb up emoji and a happy face, wishing her good luck.

You were alone in your room when suddenly Pietro's words rang in your head: Now you can make your own decisions Y/N.

A power took over your body and you walked out of the dorm hall to go to the volleyball court. You were nervious, but you had something to do.

Wanda was talking to the volleyball coach in her office, answering some medical questions fro the formal papers, when you suddenly opened the door.

- Y/N, what are you doing here? - she asked confused.

- Hey, emm i'm sorry coach, i just have to say something...- the coach nodded at you and you looked back at Wanda - Um, are you free for dinner tonight?

- Yes - Wanda said shocked.

- All right, then it's a date... - you said smiling and closing the door to leave.

Wanda smiled like never before. She felt on cloud 9. Her face was all red and her body shaking in excitement. She looked at the coach, rememebering where she was.

- I'm sorry, what was the question? - she asked nervously.

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[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: The Maritime Finale

This is definitely the last one of these, as it's rounding up a bunch of sea creatures I've missed. I assume by this point everyone who sees this knows what it's about, but just in case: https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. (I'll get the rest of the entries on there soon.)

The entry people are working from is here:

The one for next week does not exist. (Also I apologize if I seem rushed, this is a busy week for me.)

Art below the cut!

@pomrania (link to post here) has us off on a weird start with their interpretation of the Fatrihrukh. I don't have any particular nostalgia for rage-face comics (I was online during that era, just not in circles where they were common), but honestly this made me smile. Also I like imagining some fisherman on a dock, still sitting in a normal pose and holding his fishing rod, just full-throat screaming at the sky, apparently apropos of nothing in particular. This is a fun one, is what I'm saying.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) has an uncanny ability to make me think, "sure, that looks like an animal that could be real" even when they're drawing something like Fish With Tentacles, which I am 99% sure is not a thing. Though if fish did have tentacles, they would look like that. This is of course also the Fatrihrukh; apparently people like that one.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has done the whole set. A lot of these turned out really well -- I think the Ormlalaehr is stealing the show here, but the Bursgaenga is pretty darn cute. The linked post has details on each of them, which I recommend checking out. (Also thank you for providing alt text.)

@wendievergreen (link to post here) continues to impress with their delightful art style. Love the little space-invader Magtlegyegs, and the Lungyoggeas are just... wild. Extremely cool looking. (Also, thank you for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) joins the broad consensus that if you're only drawing one of these, it's the Fatrihrukh. I love the (medieval-art-appropriate) choice to give it human-like parts since the entry doesn't say otherwise. The colors are also really pretty; I like the effect on the background.

Okay. Aberdeen Bestiary. No illustrations for this one -- this whole section is just blocks of text.

Ahrmegyaeb

The wording is ambiguous as to whether whales and dolphins also do this -- but the creature in question is the seal. I have no idea how this works; either baby seals are way smaller than I think or I have completely the wrong idea about how seal mouths look.

Bursgaenga

This one is of course the scarus or escarius, which does not exist. Bestiary.ca notes that Scarus is a genus of parrotfish in modern taxonomy, and that the Rackham translation of Pliny the Elder has decided they are wrasse. No idea how well that reflects medieval understanding.

Chraekhret

Another one that doesn't exist, the echenais. Apparently Pliny has heard of some magical applications in love-charms, litigation, and obstetrics. The fish that anchors ships is a good addition to a fantasy setting, I think.

Dhrakyetor

Naturally the fish that looks like a serpent is the eel. More spontaneous generation, too, which is always nice. I swear I've heard that "giant eels in the Ganges" line somewhere before, but can't place it.

Eavbechtgi

Here we have the lamprey. I kind of wonder if this "head vs. tail" thing has something to do with its unusual head shape?

Fatrihrukh

Honestly I probably should have redacted the "many-footed" thing, because the name given is polippus, which... yeah, that actually tracks. I thought maybe this was the result of someone not bothering to actually count the limbs on an octopus, but it's apparently an obsolete umbrella term for octopus, squid, cuttlefish... all manner of tentacled cephalopod.

Griggkhraz

This is the torpedo, which is some fun etymology. The modern usage of torpedo is inherited from non-self-propelled naval mines, which were named after this torpedo, an electric ray. (Presumably they named mines after it because it hides itself & zaps you if you accidentally step on it.) The rays were named for their effect on people whom they zap: torpidus, 'numb'. This is of course cognate with English torpid. Which is a strange word to be cognate with the thing you shoot at boats.

Also:

...if a torpedo from the Indian sea is touched by a spear or rod, even from a considerable distance, the muscles of the fisherman's arms, even if they are very strong, grow numb...

Would that work if it were a metal rod?

Hretchngin

This is the crab. I did not know all of that about crabs, especially the basil thing.

Khaboghrad

Meet the sea urchin. That's why it specifies "the maritime kind" -- the other kind of urchin is a hedgehog. I don't know why the author calls it "worthless and contemptible", especially since they go on to say it can do this really cool thing. Just seems unnecessarily mean.

Lungyoggea

This one is just shellfish. All of them, apparently. The words given are conca and concle -- Latin concha covers shellfish in general.

Magtlegyeg

Naturally the pearl-bearing shellfish is the oyster, but I love the imagery of oysters going ashore to be fertilized by dew from heaven. The idea of going out at night to watch the oysters migrate onto land and catch the dew is another thing I'm taking note of for a fantasy setting.

Nolthrigyo

Someone probably clocked this one: it's the murex snail, source of the famous "tyrian purple" dye.

Ormlalaehr

Really pushing the definition of "fish" here is... the tortoise. Technically also the turtle, I guess, since the author specifies that this includes land and sea varieties. This is, I think, one that makes total sense once you know what it is, so we're moving on to our last one, which is also really pushing the "what is a fish" envelope...

Riggmungku

This is the frog, also obvious once you see it. The fact that it's being called a fish really throws you off, though, I think.

And that's the whole lot. This has been fun, but I'm also glad to have it completed. (Well, completed with the exception of any responses to this one I've missed or that came in late.) Thanks to everyone who's been looking in on this project -- thanks doubly to everyone who contributed -- and thanks triply to the handful of people who drew something practically every week.

[ranhaitanisgf]

Hello. Can I request “girl/boy next door” and getting sick” with Kazutora. Reader gets sick and Kazutora takes care of her. Thanks!

— kazutora hanemiya // boy next door // getting sick

☆ ˎˊ˗ helloooo this is my fave cliche ever omfg. why was i such a genius like srsly 16 yr old me was cooking with this cliche event... also this was my first time writing for kazutora !! if i remember correctly, i didn't have him in my regular reqs but i decided to put him in the event reqs, so apologies if hes a bit ooc ... blegh anyways enjoyyyy my lovelies have a wonderful day !! xoxoxo

☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 1.5k+

☆ ˎˊ˗ gn!reader implied

masterlist || 2k masterlist

you knew that you had lost when you’d woken up with a sore throat yesterday, but you didn’t think that it was going to escalate into this. you’d felt mostly fine yesterday, a bit under the weather if anything, but it hadn’t been anything that you couldn’t handle, so imagine your surprise when you woke up and felt exponentially worse. 

your vision went fuzzy every time you tried to stand up and you were sure that your night clothes were soaked through with sweat, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to come out from under the blankets, shivering despite the added layers on top of you. the only thing you had the energy for was to flip your phone open and closed, occasionally texting your friends who were telling you about their vacations. 

the air in your room was excruciatingly stuffy, but you swore you would somehow fall out of the window from dizziness if you tried to open it, so you stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling and watching your phone screen for new notifications. 

the silence of your room was disturbed by a light knocking sound; when you sat up in bed and looked to your window, you saw a familiar face wave and smile at you. you could hear his muffled voice through the window, ‘let me in!’. 

you smiled at kazutora, telling him to give you a second as you slowly got up from your bed, throwing on a t-shirt laying on the floor over your tank top. you swayed a bit as you walked over to the window, which you could see made his face twist with concern. a few moments later you opened the window, though you were struggling a bit with opening it more than a few inches. luckily for you, kazutora’s hands slipped under the window, opening it the rest of the way with ease. 

“ah, thanks…” you murmured, yawning a bit as you started to walk back to bed. behind you, you could hear kazutora coming through the window and closing it, and you heard him begin to say something, but a ringing in your ears blocked out his voice. your vision blurred a bit as you swayed once again, the dizziness starting to get to you. you could faintly feel someone grabbing your shoulders, and after a few seconds your vision began to return and the ringing in your ears slowly dissipated.

“...(y/n)?! are you alright?!” in front of you was kazutora, worry strewed over his pretty face. “are you hurt?! what happened-?!” 

“i’m fine kazu…just deathly sick…” you murmured, your eyebrows pinched together. “please stop shouting…”

“deathly sick?! do i need to take you to the hospital??” 

“i just told you to stop yelling, and no. i’ll probably be fine in a couple days, i was joking. lemme get in bed, please.” at your request, kazutora released his hands from your shoulders, though they hovered near you as you walked the last few steps to your bed, scared that you were going to get a wave of dizziness again. 

as soon as you sat down again the dizziness went away, making you feel a bit better. you watched as kazutora hovered over you; you could see the unsaid question on his face, wondering if there’s anything he can do to make you feel better. 

“you can sit down y’know, i’m not actually dying. i’m glad you’re here actually; i was getting so bored.” you groaned, patting the spot next to you for kazutora to sit down. “i’ve been sitting here staring at my phone, waiting for people to text me. how lame is that?” 

he hesitantly sat down next to you, disregarding your words as his hand went to feel your forehead. the coolness of his hand felt nice against your heated flesh, making you sigh a bit in relief. 

“you feel really warm…” he murmured, somehow managing to look even more worried. “have you taken any medicine?” 

“no…” you answered, a bit embarrassed. you’d been feeling too dizzy to go and get medicine from the store, but you supposed that you should have kept some on hand just in case. 

at your words, kazutora suddenly sprung up, mumbling something about having to make a call as he exited your room and stepped out into the hallway. he closed the door, so you could only hear him talking to someone on the phone, but nothing more than just muffled parts of it. after almost five minutes, he came back in your room, a determined look on his face. 

“i-i’ll be back!! just give me a bit, but i’ll be back!” before you could say anything else, kazutora walked across your room, opening the window and climbing out of it. 

dumbfounded, you sat in silence for a moment before flopping back, burying your face in your pillow. 

“he left the window open…” 

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

kazutora is feeling very unsure of himself right now. 

despite consulting who he thinks is an expert in these things, he isn’t sure if he’s gotten the right things, and he sure as hell has no clue whether or not it’ll actually help you. 

he’s taken it upon himself to help nurse you back to health; he hasn’t been sick a whole lot of times, but he knew that every time he was sick his mom would always make a bowl of rice porridge and would make him drink a capful of nasty medicine so that he would get better. he knows that you can take care of yourself, and he also knows how much you like being independent, but in all honesty, it gave him a big scare when he saw the state you were in earlier. paired with the fact that you live alone, he was worried that your sickness might get worse and that you wouldn’t call anybody to help you, (he knows that probably wouldn’t happen, but he can’t stop himself from thinking these things). 

and so here he was, nervously biting his nails as he walked back to your house from the convenience store, a plastic bag in his other hand containing all the essentials for taking care of sick people, (according to chifuyu). 

when he arrived at your window, he carefully climbed through, not wanting to scare you.

“(y/n), i’m back-...” kazutora immediately shut himself up when he saw that you were asleep, breathing softly and looking as peaceful as ever. he smiled a bit to himself, walking to your bedside and gingerly setting the plastic bag down beside him. 

the other hard part of this was containing his feelings. 

he had to admit to himself that he had become quite flustered when he’d seen you in just your tank top for that brief moment, glad that you hadn’t been looking his way while he got a handle on his emotions. he’d had an even harder time trying not to get flustered when you had leaned into his hand, resisting the urge to keep your hand on your forehead for longer, (he already had kept his hand there for longer than he probably should have). 

as he watched you sleep, he noticed that your face was a lot more flushed than usual and that your breathing was quite heavy, which made him frown a bit. he wishes that he could transfer your sickness to him, that he could take whatever pain and discomfort you were feeling and give it to himself. he thinks that he feels more pain now just seeing you suffering than any other time he’s felt pain before. 

kazutora is snapped out of his thoughts when your face twists in discomfort, your brows scrunching in your sleep. his hand reaches out all on its own, brushing some of your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. 

what did chifuyu say again…? 

“ah, cold packs…” he murmured to himself, digging through the bag beside him. after a few moments of searching, he found the package, ripping it open and taking a cold pack out. he peeled the sticker covering off and used his sleeve to wipe any sweat and stray hair off of your forehead, taking the sticky part and carefully pressing it to your forehead. 

he’s not sure what else he can do since you’re still sleeping; he brought food for you to eat and medicine for you to take, but he’s also heard that sleep is the best medicine when you’re sick, so he’s not entirely sure if he should wake you up. he shouldn’t, right? 

right. 

he knows it’s probably weird to watch you sleep, but he swears he’s not watching in a weird way! he’s definitely not watching because the hair splayed around your face makes you look divine, no, of course not…

before he knows it, kazutora is leaning forward and he is pressing his lips against the cold pack on your forehead, and oh my god what is he doing?! he immediately leans back, a hand to his lips as he stares at you with wide eyes. you’re not awake, right? he can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing, because did he just take advantage of the fact that you were sleeping? 

oh god, i’m definitely a freak. 

you’re just glad that the flush from your fever covers up your flush from getting a kiss from the boy you like.