#so i am begging once again for people to stop retconning his past

[bunisher]

i need all future comics writers of frank (and anyone on DDBA) to stop trying to write him as a guy who had a normal childhood and was always just kinda Like That. or that he was simply destined to become the punisher, but that’s kind of a separate topic.

people who go into the military at 18 rarely have normal childhoods, they are often raised in abusive environments that are normalized. the urge to go into the military typically does not come from people who aren’t used to some form of abuse, because why would you willingly want to go into that? unless you are susceptible to indoctrination toward having faith in a system from a young age and aren’t able to discern the red flags? the military system preys on poor young men in particular by scouting them and offering all these bells and whistles (free college, healthcare, community) and feelings of importance, but then just forgets about them afterward.

side note: it’s actually such a disservice to many veterans to forget about how the military is an abusive system. it literally strips you of everything with no help in reintegrating back into society (other than by members of the same community). i get TPS1 tried to do something with this but dropped the ball. it feels like many writers just use his marine background as some sort of fun fact that only comes into play with certain things, but it very much shapes who you are and changes your identity. it’s a very cult-like system.

many people who want to serve are related to others who have prior. many people (especially men) who want to serve at that age have an underlying need that they think can be met. many people are brainwashed by military propaganda and believe it is the right thing to do. especially when it comes to religion, there’s this idea of men using their bodies to protect the innocent that goes back hundreds of years, and this idea of serving god, which we see young francis try to do in two ways. (side note: why do they keep removing his religious background? i liked the nod to it in the nmcu but it seems modern comics writers (looking at you jason aaron) just forget this?) besides, the functions of religion for people are very similar to the functions of the military as far as members go, namely community and a sense of greater purpose.

to me, as a reader/watcher, threads of probable abuse history are present in frank’s character, and i wish we had a writer brave enough to write about it. why else would he care so much about innocents and victims? why else would he become suicidal and guilt stricken when he hurts an innocent? it makes you think: was there no one who protected him or someone else he knew?

and this may not mean anything but idk i think he’s so much more tragic and juicy if you look at him like someone who is not the perfect victim (and maybe doesn’t even recognize their abuse) but someone who instead of healing and becoming soft, becomes angry and violent afterward. trauma, especially repeated trauma, does not effect people all the same way and i really wish they would just be bold enough to work with that. i get trying to piss off the alt right but completely changing the character to fit the same stereotype of a ‘psychopath’ (which is an outdated term) as they do in horror movies about killer children is just poor writing. again, talking about punisher 2022, but this was kinda in nmcu too. and sure yeah they’ve retired his character (but not the punisher….? ok) in the comics, but for when he inevitably does come back, yeah.

[chiclet-go-boom]

You know, I’m just going to say it.

I saw Star Wars in the theatres when it came out. Yes, I’m that old. I’m as invested as any 9 year old would be when a blond hero with a blue laser sword bursts onto the scene. My favorite was always R2D2. I hoarded his full size sticker forever until I finally bequeathed it onto my favorite book of fairy tales, figuring I would keep my two best things together for all time.

Yes, I still have the book and the sticker gracing its cover. 

I do not give two finger snaps for the original trio of characters in the new movies. Yes, I was sad Han died, but I was WAY more invested in how Kylo felt about it. Yes, I was surprised to find out that Han and Leia couldn’t pull it together in the long run but after thinking about it, it made perfect sense they fucked up their kid and fucked up their relationship. I was very surprised about Luke ending up cynical and jaded and no longer the bright, shining hope that he’d always been but then I thought about it and really fucking got behind the fact that we can all fuck up in terrible, horrible, no-good ways without even realizing how we’re repeating the mistakes of the past.

I’ve been there. I’ve made those mistakes. I turn into my mom sometimes and it not a good look on me. 

And I wanted Finn and Poe and Rey and Kylo, not the old guard. The first three already had their movies, tell me more about the new kids.

Instead this last movie gave C3PO more dialogue lines and on screen time than Kylo kriffing Ren it felt like. Leia deliberately sabotaged her own son. His Force bond mate fatally stabbed him with his own saber when he stopped fighting. His father turned up again, when he’d already had his grand moment in the first movie so yeah, let’s rehash that from a completely different yet utterly the same angle, right down to the touch to the face. Then Han tells him to go uphold his mother’s fixation; you know, the one that took up all her time when he was growing up so that he grew up thinking himself unloved. 

Then all the Jedi apparently get behind Rey Palpatine because of course they do, and none of those sanctimonious Force ghosts have a single kind word for struggling Ben Solo. His Force bond mate spends absolutely zero time even looking conflicted that he’s gone. He’s dead, she’s absolutely fine. She goes back to a place that is supposed to touch the heart strings of us old folk who cared about the original movies, but let me tell you, I was not moved in the slightest. She buries two sabers, including one that didn’t exist before this movie and therefore I could care less about, and takes on a name that doesn’t belong to her because we’re paying homage to the original trilogy again because fuck the new kids and their story, I guess. She has a brand new yellow saber out of thin air. When did that happen? Who knows, it doesn’t mean anything to me (did it mean anything to you?) since there’s zero context. 

Poe was the son of heroes and now he’s just a reformed heroin spice smuggler because we need another Han. Finn bucked a lifetime of brainwashing to do the right thing and it gets reduced to him having a Feeling about it because hey, after three movies he’s finally Force sensitive for some reason out of the blue. Rey spends about 30 seconds of screen time actually liking her bond mate and 0 seconds caring about his loss. Rose Tico gets a shoulder tap and the nod of acknowledgement. General Hux simply disappears ingloriously. The Knights of Ren do nothing but stand around and look cool a couple of times. Not a single line of dialogue. We don’t even get their names. The First Order itself, the scourge of the first two movies, is absolutely nowhere to be found at all. 

Apparently the new kids have zero story to be told since it all got retconned so that every single thing about them tied back to the original trilogy somehow, going by this last and technically penultimate installment. Because that’s what we’re supposed to care about. The old guard. They’re the heroes. They did no wrong. Leia was a Jedi in hiding, oops, did we forget to tell you about that? Palpatine is alive because we have no clue why. He was Snoke somehow but it’s never explained how he did it or even fucking why he bothered. Rey is his granddaughter (which begs the bright question of how Palpatine lost track of his son and his progeny in the first place) and he wants her dead, no he wants her alive, no he wants her to kill him actually so that she can save the fleet (again) although once he’s in her body he’s not going to save them of course because why the heell would he, but no, he wants her dead again now. What the fuck. He’s in Ben Solo’s head the entire time apparently but that went exactly nowhere and meant nothing at the end.

I grew up on all the movies and I am utterly disgusted that all these bright new people and their stories got so trampled on in the name of incredibly tired fanservice to characters that had their moment in the sun 40 years ago. 

[akatokuro]

The Inevitable StS Rewatch, Episode 36

One of the most truly pressing issues in Saint Seiya canon: why the fuck is Milo like this?

- I SEE THAT SAGA SENSED THAT AIOLOS WAS TAKING A BATH, SO HE FELT THE NEED TO JUMP IN TOO! and thus a meme was born

- Uhhhh, Saga? I know you probably had a crush on Aiolos at all, but... really, dude? ????????

- AND HEEEERE HEEEEE ISSSSSSSS

- Milo's ridiculous ego is on full display the second he opens his fucking mouth. No "what's going on, Pope?" or "How may I serve you?" but "WOW, POPE, FOR YOU TO SUMMON A GOLD SAINT! (DID I MENTION I'M A GOLD SAINT, BECAUSE I AM.)

- MILO. ALL HE FUCKING DID WAS ASK IF YOU KNEW ABOUT THE SITUATION. What is the need for you to add "heh, not that I care, since I'm so awesome, just so you know!" Yes, a lot of Gold Saints have pretty overinflated egos - yume and I actually thought about it, and we're pretty sure Camus is just about the ONLY one who doesn't pull some form of smug "heh, a Bronze trying to fight a Gold? lmao, and also, rofl" but Scorpio Milo is... something else.

- Ikki working for Sanctuary at first still feels really weird and ill-fitting. Well, fortunately, it's not really dwelled on that much, so it's easily ignored! That's one of the good things about there being no real Saint Seiya canon... <_<

- In a way, though, it is certainly fitting that Milo's scene here is our first proper introduction to a "Gold Saint", because Milo certainly thinks he is THE Gold Saint in a lot of ways. It drips from the way he responds to everything. "Measly Bronze Saints, they must be crazy, lol!" It's actually really interesting to think he was originally planned to be Hyouga's master. Like, in some ways that really fits - Smugswan had to get the smug and the overinflated sense of ego from somewhere, and it sure as hell wasn't Camus!

- It's also sort of interesting because Kurumada pulled the switcheroo on the basis of "oooh, ice/water themed signs, oooh!" But even at this stage, Milo definitely has a very, very different personality than Marshmallow Saint Camus. What would he and Hyouga's hypothetical encounter have looked like, really...?

- I'm not trying to imply, by the way, that Milo's sense of egotism is solely about straightforwardly boosting himself up - because it's not. It's intertwined with his perception of Saint honor and what it means to him to embody that, which becomes clear in how he deals with Camus, Hyouga, and Kanon respectively later on. It's also intertwined with a negative five thousand debuff to his intelligence stat, but, you know.

- I love Saga just sort of ignoring Milo going WHAT? A BRONZE BEATING A SILVER? RIDICULOUS, I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING! and continuing to exposit. Saga, why the fuck did you summon Milo of all people here to deal with this in the first place? I mean, not only would leaning on Aphrodite, Deathmask, or even Shura make infinitely more sense, but... it's fucking Milo. Did your bath-bonding with Aiolos rattle your judgment temporarily?  

- And right back at him, Milo basically brushes aside poor Saga's exposition to go "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BOTHERING THE GREAT KONO MILO WITH THIS BULLSHIT, POPE? REALLY??? KONO MILO, THE GOLD SAINT???"

- Saga begins to realize his terrible, terrible mistake and cuts off Milo in the middle of his bitching, but Milo ignores him to continue whining.

- See, it'd be one thing if Milo suggested that the situation bore more investigation, or perhaps these Bronze Saints were being misled so they shouldn't be so fast to jump to the execution option, but no. It's all about his fucking pride.

- Saga is getting so edgy and short at this point and oh my god I cannot believe Milo is still fucking trying to argue with him THIS IS THE FUCKING POPE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

- Like, yume and I utterly lost our fucking minds at Milo blowing off Athena to haze Kanon when we were re-watching the Hades OAVs, but oh god it is extremely fucking consistent with this characterization here

- Poor Saga. "LOOK, THEY HAVE A FUCKING GOLD CLOTH, OKAY!?!? JESUS CHRIST WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT GET APHRODITE TO DO THIS"

- okay okay i know it's because lol seat of the pants kurumada making shit up as he went along and was promptly retconned out because it makes no sense but i will never stop laughing at milo being shocked that there are twelve gold saints. WHAT??? NOT JUST SCORPIO AND SAGITTARIUS???? WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED???? THEY COME IN, LIKE, A SET????

- Kanon pretending he's Sea Dragon is the funniest moment in Saint Seiya, but Milo's spectacular intelligence debuff is also a consistent point of hilarity.

- Shaina's crush on Seiya might be, like, one of my least favorite things in StS seriously. It's so unnecessary and it IS basically a pitch-perfect example of that "behind the ruthless, frightening female warrior lies ~the soft heart of a woman~ that only the dreamy male protagonist can truly uncover!" trope that I fucking despise with all my being.

- yume and I were cracking the fuck up to discover that the Tencent version of this sequence has Seiya bringing up the Saintias when Shaina explains the mask issue. Like, my issues with Saintia Sho as a series aside, that's just really adorable.

- The mask issue in general... there are really interesting things that you could do with it, both for Sainthood in general and for Shaina as an individual (the vibe I get is that Shaina takes it unusually seriously, even though it is accepted as a general rule) since it feels like sort of a mark of sexism that would be a part of an old, traditional, religious order - but I can't say I'm a fan of any attempts so far in the series to "address" it. Omega was a thing, and that thing was Bad.

- "Kill or love" is pretty bullshit, though. How about "kill or be expelled from Sanctuary"? I also don't really like Seiya being all "what, is that the only reason?" when he thinks it's about humiliation/pride - like, what's wrong with that? It makes sense with how Shaina has been characterized...

- this flashback is so fucking stupid

- OH NO, SEIYA, YOU SAW ME PET A RABBIT WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID AND I WAS A TEENAGER AND THUS YOU HAVE UNLOCKED MY SOFT WOMAN'S HEART! I bet Seiya fucking tried to jump a high bar, too, as every single woman from the Fate franchise happened to be strolling by?

- Like, Shaina, did you fall in love with this little kid who talked down to you then or... because uhhh...

- Also, like, yeah, it's Saint Seiya, and "pulled things out of my ass" and "retconned" are the name of the game, but come on, there was no indication of this kind of past in all the screentime Shaina has had up until this point. Wasn't her grudge against him regarding Marin and Cassios and being defeated by him in battle enough? Do we really have to enforce her ~femininity~ that Seiya ~exposed~ too? Ugh ugh ugh.

- Whatever, I really do like Shaina, this garbage aside. It's just a shame we fell back on this dumb trope of all things to justify her transition into one of the good guys when it was wholly unneeded.

- Aaaand we're back to Milo and Saga. I love how the framing of this episode implies that Saga has been sitting there having to explain things very slowly to Milo all fucking day. Gonna need another bath to unwind after this shit, Gemini.

- HAVE I MENTIONED, POPE, THAT I AM A GOLD SAINT, AND THUS I AM AMAZING? I'M NOT SURE YOU KNEW. LET ME MENTION IT AGAIN. I'M A GOLD SAINT, BY THE WAY.

- And Lia enters the scene!

- Okada made this an explicit issue in Episode G, but the contrast between fully-decked-out-in-his-Cloth "have I mentioned in the last five minutes that I am a Gold Saint, preen preen" Milo and Lia--who strolls in WITHOUT his Cloth, just his regular training clothes - is really striking.

- Milo's face when Lia comes in... hmmm...

- I don't think Saga, like, actively made a point of or went out of his way to play ~mind games~ with Aiolia or anything, but this is definitely a deliberate passive-aggressive diss. The kind you would give when it's like, ah yes, I ruined this kid's life, let me just innocuously twist the knife a little here...

- You really can understand why Aiolia is as fucking mad and as fucking repressed as he is, from the dressed-up hostility coming from both sides in this whole amazing shitstorm.

- This is... an amazing moment. "What if I still wanted Milo to go?" "Eh, I'd kick his fucking ass." And Milo's EXCUSE ME!?!?! reaction lmfaooooo

- You can just sense the stony bitterness coming off of Lia here, though? This is a dangerous game to play, considering the whole rule about "no duels between Saints." Just the sheer dismissiveness of it, too. Just as Saga gets in his passive-aggressive digs against Aiolia, Lia gets his in against... Milo, lol?

- And Milo starts trying to argue with the Pope AGAIN and Saga finally just tells him to shut the hell up. Saga confirmed for legitimately impressive patience honestly.

- God, and Lia just leaves once he gets the confirmation. I LOVE that Aiolia went through this whole thing since coming in without saying a single fucking word to Milo or sparing him more than a glance. Please, just ask this man about his opinion of Scorpio Milo, I’m begging you.

- MILO FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

- And Saga is the one who points out that, BECAUSE of his history and his relation to Aiolos, he has a compelling reason to work on this case in particular. Milo just stops at HOW COULD YOU RELY ON HIM HE HAS TRAITOR'S BLOOD. The intelligence debuff is real.

- But, yeah, you can tell Lia has cause to be as cold, dismissive, and passive-aggressive towards Milo as he was. They... they do not have a good relationship.  

- It legitimately boggles my mind how there is a weird semi-common fanon about Milo and Lia being close friends, or Milo being this great guy who was so supportive of him. I've run across it multiple times in my hunts for cute fanart or interesting discussion, and I feel like I'm staring at an incomprehensible alien entity every time. Like. Where did you get that. How did. The characterization we get from both of them indicates the exact opposite. I would not be remotely surprised if Aiolia, as bitter and angry as he truly is, is going to hold a grudge against Milo until the end of time, long after Milo has forgotten about it.

- Rather than being his friend, Milo is literally the ONLY Gold Saint we see actually giving Aiolia shit for being a traitor's brother. Like I mentioned back in the Silver Saint scene with Aiolia, yume and I actually talked about this - since she is a raving Aiolia fan and all - about the possible sources of Lia's torment from his peers. The shitty Silver Saints, yes, and Deathmask, yes, because he's actively malicious in general, but he wouldn't be rubbing it in because he actually cares or thinks Lia having "traitor blood" actually means something. MILO sure does, though!

- Milo is prideful, often in shallow ways, and incredibly overbearing about that pride, thinking he has the right to lecture and judge and override others, including Athena herself. There is like literally no question in my mind that he is friends with Camus because Camus is basically the only person who knows him who will actually tolerate him.

- Milo: "Hmm, lots of people don't trust the Pope, and no one has seen his face. WHAT COULD IT MEAN??? welp back to my temple wonder what camus is up to"

- "Brother, I will make up for your sin, even if I have to sacrifice my life!" with a thousand-yard stare. Aiolia, you really, really need some therapy, badly...

- Man, I was gonna cover more episodes with this writeup, but it ends up I had a lot of ranting bottled up about GOD MILO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Oh well. Next time, Aiolia continues to have serious, serious psychological problems! A good time is had by all!

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Vampire Diaries: It's Been a Hell of a Ride (8x14)

Hahahahahahaaa oh my God I should have seen this coming... this is just excellent. I've decided to go for broke and just roll with the punches for these final few weeks of The Vampire Diaries. Does anything that's happening actually make sense anymore? Nope. Do I care? Also nope.

Cons:

As I just said, I'm done caring about plot holes and cop-outs and all of those things. There was one moment, though, that tested my patience just a little. Damon sacrifices himself to save Stefan and Elena, and it's glorious and angst-y and all that, but then after Cade is killed, Damon strolls up, completely unharmed, and his explanation is "oh, Cade's death must have just sort of pushed me back into my body! How convenient!" Obviously I know that nobody stays dead in this damn show, but come on. That just felt lazy.

Similarly lazy is that Alaric ringing the magic McGuffin bell apparently hurts Cade enough to give Stefan a chance to beat him. Was that established somewhere? I don't know. That stupid bell is annoying.

And, okay, I don't know if I should put this under the "cons" section or what, but I'm getting mighty nervous that Stefan is going to be the one to die in the finale. We have this sort of stupid little side-plot going on where the twins are losing control of their magic, and Alaric wants to set up a school for them, and for other children with powers. He says that Caroline should help him and be his partner in this endeavor. Since I know Ric is going to go join the gang in New Orleans in The Originals after all of this, does that mean that his whole "Xavier's School" thing is going to be happening in that show instead of this one? And wouldn't Stefan's tragic demise be the perfect excuse to have Caroline jump ship to The Originals as well, or at least set her up to guest star? Maybe I'm being paranoid. If Stefan is the one to get the axe, I'm going to be pissed.

Pros:

Let's start with that little subplot, though, because as much as the twins don't interest me, I do like seeing protective father Alaric and protective mother Caroline team up to save the Gemini Coven twins from Kai, who has his own reasons for wanting them dead. This little plot detour doesn't go anywhere, since Kai doesn't hurt the girls, but it was a nice tense series of scenes, reminding me just how awesome Kai is as a villain. In particular, I liked how Ric hits Kai, says "that's for my girls," hits him again "that's for me," and "this - " but then of course Kai knocks him down, gaining the upper hand, taunting him. Caroline comes up behind him and knocks Kai out, saying "for Jo. That's what he was going to say." Bad-ass Caroline is the best!

Let's talk about Bonnie. I'm not entirely sure how it is she's communicating with dead Enzo, but I don't really care. All I want is for my girl to be happy. I loved that she helped to save the day here. She felt when Elena was in danger from Cade, then showed up and saved Damon from being pulled into Hell. She even seems willing to consider forgiving Stefan, though she's not quite there yet. Is anybody more of a saint than Bonnie Bennett? I love that girl.

Damon and Stefan's relationship got so much screen time here and I loved every second of it. First, they work together to bring in Kai. They find him singing karaoke, and when Kai realizes Stefan is human, he immediately goes to kill him. He asks Stefan: "any last words?" and Stefan says "Damon," calling for help from his brother. Kai, not realizing that Damon is there, says "aww, that's so sweet! I'll tell your brother you were thinking of him when you died."

Later, we learn that Stefan plans on killing Cade, instead of just handing over the dagger to get Elena back. Damon is not on board with this plan - he tells Stefan that he can't let anything happen to Elena... "or you." Stefan, a bad-ass even as a human, manages to stab Damon with vervaine and go off to meet Cade by himself. He almost gets the upper hand of him, too, but the B-plot distracts Alaric from ringing the bell, and suddenly Stefan is about to die.

Enter Damon. The scene that follows is one of those cliches that I'll never get sick of. This was a manifestation of everything we already knew about Damon, but still wanted to see. Cade gives him a choice. He'll let Stefan go, or he'll let Elena go, but not both. Stefan tries to give himself up, but Damon staunchly refuses to even consider it. He instead agrees to stab himself and condemn his soul to Hell forever more. Great acting from Paul Wesley in this scene. He's just lying on the floor, injured and weak, and he begs Damon not to do this. Begs Damon to let him die instead. Damon doesn't listen - he stabs himself, and dies.

We actually get to see Stefan cradling dead Damon in his arms. We actually get to see Stefan stab Cade, killing the devil in grief-stricken revenge for his brother's death. We actually get to see a very long, very sweet reunion hug between the two when Damon shows up. It's a thing of extreme beauty. And it doesn't stop there! Damon and Stefan have a talk about Stefan's relationship with Caroline. Stefan spends a lot of this episode thinking that he should probably just leave town, since he doesn't deserve Caroline, and has so much to atone for. Damon tells him that the way to redemption isn't to run away. It's to surround yourself with the people you care about. Then Damon has this quote: "I just need the people I love. The list is short and profound. You're right at the top, along with a great girl I hope to marry one day."

I... just... I remember how happy I was years ago, in the episode when Damon returned from the prison world, and Damon and Stefan finally shared a hug that wasn't in a flashback. And now, we get speeches like this? We get Damon explicitly saying that he loves Stefan and Elena equally, and cares for them both more than anything else in the world? It's not that I didn't already know that, but to actually hear it? A thing of beauty!

Stefan's re-proposal to Caroline was quite sweet. I don't care too much about their relationship, but I like the fact that with them, the drama feels more realistic, in a way. They're a friends-to-lovers couple. They're realistically in love, not passionately I'd-die-if-you-died in love, the way Damon and Elena are. It's a nice contrast.

Kai was honestly the best thing about this episode. I can't believe how much he's helped this show in the past few episodes. We end with him trapped in a prison world that Bonnie helped the twins to create. Fitting that he'd end up trapped by Gemini witches once more. Bonnie tortures him with a song by the Spin Doctors that he hates, which is just great. But if that is the end of Kai on this show, he leaves us with one final parting gift - the greatest thing he's ever done. Now that Stefan has killed Cade, Hell is supposed to be destroyed as well. But it turns out that Kai lied about that. Hell has a new ruler. Who, you might ask?

Katherine. Mother-f**king. Pierce.

I mean, I should have seen this coming. Nina Dobrev is coming back on the show, so why wouldn't she be playing Katherine? Why not take advantage of that? I just... I cannot even handle how excited I am for this. Only two more episodes left, and they promise to be epic. I get the feeling that the creators of this show are just leaning in to the chaos. Who cares if it doesn't make sense? Who cares if they just retcon all of their character deaths so we can have the gang back together? It's going to be so awesome!

I'll end this review with a question: what exactly is the deal with the cure? Now that Stefan has taken it, does that mean Damon can't? I always thought the plan was that when Elena woke up, Damon would take the cure and live out his human life with her. Isn't Elena a human? Damon is now talking like he's going to stay a vampire, and have to say goodbye to Stefan one day. But he also talks about how he's ready to spend his life with Elena, but doesn't this mean that he'll have to say goodbye to her too? I'm confused by the whole thing. And they've teased the fact that somebody is going to die in the finale. If it's Stefan, I'm going to riot. But who else could it be? What makes the most sense? I'm confused and scared!!

9/10