#so i always just put $10 for weekdays and $15 for weekends

[itsmeanyango]

HALLOWEEN+ HALLOWEEN WEEKEND+ OCTOBER LUNAR ECLIPSE+ FULL MOON+DIAS DES LOS MUERTOS 2023 ASTROLOGY INSIGHT

Check voc dates

I wrote this as a note and as I finished typing this up I saw it and thought, "not important". But I know me at the time of writing the note was guided so here are the dates and times during Dias des Muertos week. Convert the time to your timezone.

November 1st 15:36 EAT to November 2nd 00:31

Then again on November 4th 6.27am to 10:21am

I don't know who those dates and time will help, but there they are. Generally, during VOC(Void of Course) it's not a good idea to be starting things (new things) or making new big decisions. Wait it out. Meditate, try colouring within the lines or something.

On Halloween.

This is my pop up insight about Halloween. I always tell my close circle and literally forget about posting on here. Whoever sees this I hope this is the timing and message you need. Be sure to look at all the media I am attaching!

Trick or treat?

Mercury=Trickster. One of the things Mercury represents is the Trickster. Mercury also deals with money.

Moon=emotions. The moon rules emotions.

Gemini=duality,ruled by Mercury. Gemini, the twins? When people think of Geminis they think of dirty dirty liars and cheats but really Geminis are not that. They are analytical, that is the mind. Geminis are childlike too, which means playful nature and with being analytical that is mind games. Remember, Mercury is the Trickster.

Tuesday=Mars day. Tuesday is also Mardi in french. You can literally sport Mars in the root of Mardi, translate Tuesday to other languages and you'll see. Now Tuesday is ruled by Mars.

Mars=God of war. Who is Mars? The God of war, Aries. Mars deals with Anger and structure. Mars likes structure.

All this is to say that Halloween will be on a Tuesday when the moon is in Gemini. What do we always say about Halloween? Trick or treat?

Now I don't know about you but I'm not the one who is going to be out guessing which is true and which is false. Feeling conflicted emotions, overanalyzing things and not knowing if it's just a joke or reality.

For some reason I'm channeling in and out the Bamboo forest nursery rhyme.

For example if someone tells you that your grandma has passed away on Halloween. Or your partner. They must be joking right? That's just an example, it actually gets darker. If you don't have to go out, just stay in your house. But many people have work and school and all that so that can't be avoided.

For Kenya, let's hope it doesn't rain. Let's hope the KCPE candidates are safe.

But this water drowning energy could be alcohol instead of rain.

The eclipse weekend.

Saturday=Saturn day=Karma/Karmic.

Saturn is the planet of responsibility, punishment and rewards. Saturn is very traditional and Saturn also serves Karma. This eclipse is on a Saturday. Lunar eclipse.

I don't recommend people spending unnecessary energy on eclipses and I DEFINITELY DO NOT RECOMMEND GETTING MARRIED DURING AN ECLIPSE.

Plus eclipses are not good times to go out or do all that. Just clean your house and put things in your life in order. Cleaning your house and especially shoes+closet before an eclipse helps you get rid of stagnant and unnecessary energy. You may find something you've been looking for during this clean or find memories back then.

Because Halloween is on a weekday, the parties and everything will happen over the weekend. Do not spend the money for one thing on the wrong place!! If it's money for rent, bills, education etc, don't spend it on pleasure. Saturn will whoop your ass crazy.

When something is happening celestially, the energy doesn't last a day.

It lasts days before and days after. That's why we have Retrograde pre and post shadow periods.

Think of a nuclear explosion, after it goes off it still lingers. Before it goes off you hear a ringing.

So don't be sitting waiting for the day of the Eclipse to end so you can get "things done".

Then there's the part about energy harvesting which happens during all gatherings/celebrations/events etc.

That(energy harvesting) is always there. With Scorpio season the energy is death,sex,money. So energy harvesting happens around those themes and that's why you should not be in the mix during Scorpio season. Don't be attending concerts willy nilly,don't set your wedding for Scorpio season.

Full moons are about things coming full circle.

Accept and move on.

What's meant to be will be.

Dias des Los Muertos

(I posted this on my Instagram so I'm adding it here as it makes sense with this whole post).

I keep thinking of Dias de los Muertos.

My ancestors must be wanting me to do something for them. Your ancestors may also be wanting you to do something for them.

Idk, it's also sounding like loved ones will die and want you to remember the good things about them especially on that day. But since the exact day isn't clear, it may have to be a whole week of veneration and celebrating their life.

So November 31st through November 4th.

Jessie Reyez music is also coming to mind.

Great ones.

I think that song is in a movie.

I'm just thinking about:

"What color is the sky ay mi amor, ay mi amor?

You tell me that it's red, ay mi amor, ay mi amor!" 🎶

That's Un Poco Loco from Coco

I'm also thinking about the corpse bride which actually gives me Christmas vibes, but I think someone's partner is going to die.

😔😔😔

If they never say goodbye, this is it.

I'm also seeing him. It's a he.

Let me post this on Instagram because whoever is concerned doesn't seem to be on my status viewers.

This is their Goodbye❤️

Go through this media below and I've attached animation movies to consider watching. If you can watch all, go ahead. These movies might mean something to someone.

Then after I posted that I sat down to watch cartoons. It was 10pm when I wanted to switch off the TV and sleep and the episode read "The dead Magpie"(Pettson and Findus Season 4 Episode 4). I've attached a link to the episode I found online. I'm not sure if it's free to watch but you can also Google the episode title and season on YouTube to see if it's there!

Hmm. Very Scorpio season coded I thought. So I sat there to watch and the Magpie is called Nosey Parker. The Magpie is a she.

Magpies are known to steal. Dead Magpies represent endings and theft. This weekend is a full moon as well and full moons represent endings. The theft part might be if you don't take care so be careful! It might also mean feeling like a theft has happened in your life because someone has passed away.

There's a part in the episode where the chicken say,

"the crows up there are black, we are snow white. But the magpie had black and white. That means we must be related(or the same-something like that)."

The message there is that someone's grandmother (it's a grandmother's spirit coming out strongly) is saying that even though she's gone she is in you so you shouldn't feel all that heaviness.

When I posted this on Instagram I felt a very heavy Energy make me post it and I just felt like it was a grandmother. Then when I saw this episode in Pettson and Findus, I knew that's exactly what. I've attached relevant screenshots from the Instagram post so have a look.

I want to add on Jessie Reyez great ones. Before the song begins, she says:

"Dreams run in my family.

A week before my uncle passed, he dreamt of us dancing in San Nicholas square together, and of my grandmother preparing his paradise for him in the afterlife.

When my childhood best friend passed, I also dreamt of him. He told me that hell didn't exist, and that heaven was beautiful"

I will close this with the words of 777-oya:

We are the ancient ones. Returning remembering.

If you want to book a reading with me(Astrology/Human Design/Dream analysis/Psychospiritual therapy/ or tip me you can see my catalogue of services here:

[pvstelheart]

Yeah not really. First of all tips+hourly wage MUST meet minimum wage and some states don’t even have a lower minimum wage. For example I make $10.50 an hour plus tips (anywhere from $10-60 a shift) as a hostess and food runner in California where $10.50 is minimum wage period no matter your job and is actually raising to $11 soon so that’ll be nice. But anyway tipping culture is far more complex, doesn’t have to do with underpaying people because the reducing minimum wage for waitresses was actually a side effect of toppings popularity, and also actually started in Europe so no it’s not a US system and now it’s mostly basically a hey I’m paying the restaurant not the person who actually directly served me so here’s a little extra that I know is going to my waitress, busser, hostess, and other front of the house staff who helped me. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant you’d understand why it’s something that exist wait staff does a lot of customers especially when we’re busy as a hostess I run around seating people, telling our expo if someone wants something, telling a waitress someone is ready to pay, getting water, ect and only that first thing is actually my job. Tipping is considered part of eating out in the US and is a cost that should be considered when you want to. If you can’t afford to tip then don’t eat out here and regardless if tipping didn’t exist we would either make wayyyyyyyyyy less or have higher prices so wait staff could be paid more. Just because it’s not a practice you understand doesn’t mean you get to bash it especially when it’s literally hurting no one

how to tip

[nanowrimo]

Raising Kids & Writing Books: Five Tips for Parents Daring to Try NaNoWriMo

Sometimes, it feels like we never have time to write, especially if you’re a new parent! NaNo Guest Ruth Harper-Rhode gives some tips on fitting writing into a busy lifestyle. Writing a book while also being a parent of young children may seem like an impossible feat, and there’s no doubt that both parenting and writing are challenging endeavors. Both can be vastly rewarding, too. I believe it’s healthy for parents to channel their creative muses, and NaNoWriMo is a great way to do that!

I won my first NaNoWriMo in 2019, while working full time and raising my daughter, who was 3 years old at the time. I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo ever since. This year, I’ve got an added challenge: I welcomed baby #2 in August. I debated participating at all this year before I realized something: it’s not about how “good” your book is at the end of the month, but about how much you enjoy the journey that is NaNoWriMo. It’s possible for parents to not only participate, but to have fun! Plus, your determination to write a book in a month can serve as a great example for your kiddos.

Here are a few tips I’d offer other parents – or any busy person, really — who decide to join in on NaNoWriMo this year.

1. Find pockets of time that work for you. For me, getting up 30 to 60 minutes earlier each morning — before anyone else in the house woke up — worked best. I’d also sometimes take 10 or 15 minutes of my lunch break and scoot off to a quiet place to crank out a few paragraphs. Of course, weekends or days off from work lend themselves to longer writing blocks that help you get ahead of thegame during weekdays.

2. Use tech to your advantage: Writing on a laptop or in a notebook works.However, you can also write on your phone while you are waiting in line or on your commute (if you aren’t driving). Then, you can what you wrote to your main document later.

3. Lean on your support systems — and tell them what you’re doing! I made sure to tell my husband I was doing NaNoWriMo and when I would be writing, so he would know why I had to skip Netflix that night or why I decided to go to the library for an hour (or three) on a Saturday afternoon. If people who care about you know you have a goal you’re working toward, they’re bound to want to lend a hand, especially if they know it’s only for a month.

4. Plan what you’ll write. There’s nothing worse than sitting down to a blank page in a tired state of mind with only 15 minutes to spare and no idea of where to even begin. That’s a recipe for giving up! Use October to plan as much as you can. I had my general plot ironed out and wrote scene ideas on index cards. Each writing session, I knew exactly what scene I’d be tackling. I’ve found that the first minute or two of writing is the hardest — but once you get going, it can sometimes be hard to stop! Setting a timer for yourself and putting on some quiet, relaxing music can help with focus.

5. Be easy on yourself. Writing a book as a parent can feel particularly intimidating. Just remember, this is your first draft! It’s not supposed to be perfect. If you only make it to 5,000 or 10,000 or 20,000 words — that’s still more than you started with. You can always keep writing once November is over. In fact, the month may serve as a jump start to a long, happy writing life — one that may continue even as your kids get older.

Ruth Harper-Rhode has participated in NaNoWriMo since 2019, writing stories as an emotional outlet. She works full-time in healthcare communications and is a mom of two humans, two cats and one dog. When she’s not exploring the area around her home in Upstate New York, she enjoys curling up with a book or making something delicious in the kitchen. She tweets @Ruthings and posts on Instagram at @What_Ruth_Ate.   Photo by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash

[bookwyrminspiration]

Do you have any tips for nanowrimo?

I'm not sure how useful I'll be as everyone has a different approach, but I can share what's personally most useful for an enjoyable and productive month! This is my fifth year doing it, and there's definitely a lot more I could say about it, but these are the main tips I would give. I hope this helps!!

Space out your writing.

For me, the most critical aspect is to spread out your writing. All those rushes clumped together at the end of the day are so stressful and just make me dread the month as a whole, so try to avoid having big chunks of time right next to each other. Instead, I have several smaller times planned throughout the day so I can slowly make my way to that daily goal. I might have a 15 minute writing session at 9, half an hour at 12, etc. I know I have an unorthodox school schedule and more freedom to schedule things, but the same principal applies to time after school. Take it in small chunks!

Start early.

I know it's super easy to put off NaNoWrimo to the end of your day after everything is done, but the sooner you get started the easier it will be to finish. Because this opens up the chance to say fuck it and come back to it later. When you get stumped, it's a lot less stressful to step away for an hour to think about it when it's 2 in the afternoon than at 8pm. The more of the day you can use, the better. I personally like to get started as early as possible (with school that means around 10 on the weekdays, 7-8 on the weekends). But that's because I'm more productive in the mornings, so that won't be as effective for everyone.

Treats!

I don't know about you, but my brain loves rewards. If you have the discipline, set up a little reward system--it doesn't have to be consistent. Maybe you'll grab a cookie after writing 500 words, and another something at 1000, etc. This can be as low or as high as you want it to be! And the reward doesn't have the be candy; it can be things like watching a video you like, listening to a song you like, etc. Anything that's rewarding! Note: rewards are not things like basic necessities such as meals, hygiene, water, sleep, etc. They're extra little fun things, so please don't punish yourself to get through your writing.

Neat numbers.

This one is more to get just a few more words each session, and it'll only work if you're more predisposed to this kind of thing. I personally love to update my wordcount with satisfying numbers, so use whatever that means to you! If i'm 27 words away from the next hundred, I might as well just write the 27 right now and enter a 500 word update instead of a 473 one. It's so close! Just a little more effort and it'll be so much more satisying. This could be making your update a fun number, making the total word count of your doc/chapter a fun number, etc. I personally go for the hundreds with this one, but there have been times where I go for all the same number--like a 777 update. Those little details get me to write just a little bit more before stopping, and every word now is a word I don't need to write later and is progress.

Move past being behind.

This one is specifically if you get behind: it's okay. You don't have to make up all those words the very next day--you can, but that's also a big task to take on, doubling your word goal! it can feel like a continuous failure when three days ago you missed a day and fell behind, but just keep approaching it the same as you always did. If you get the 1667 the day after you wrote zero words, you've still met that days goal, that's just yesterday still bugging you. Make it up slowly. Depending on how many days you have left, add a small number of words to the 1667 total until you've made it up. Could be 200, 300, etc. There's no rush! One of the years I had a 10 day period where I was under the path to success, but I'd written all 1667 words each day since I'd missed and that's still good!

Don't look at other's word count.

This is only if you tend to compare yourself to other writers. But if looking at those other word counts makes you judge yourself, stop! you don't need to know where others are. I stopped looking at my buddies' (my partner is my only buddy on the website atm but I would do the same if I had others!) word count last year until I could stop comparing myself. Seeing people have a higher word count than me just makes me unhappy and judgmental of myself for no reason when I know I should be happy for their progress, so until I could better control that I tend to avoid it for the most part! You're not required to look or know, so put yourself first!

Break the rules.

i know that there's technically a traditional way to do NaNoWriMo, but if that doesn't suit you, ignore the rules! The point of this challenge is to get you writing, so find that motivation however you can and use it how you want. Want to start the fifth draft of a novel you've started? Go for it! Want to write a collection of short stories that instead add up to the word count? Do it! Want to restart half way through and still add the words from your other project? I've done that too!! Want to just apply this new word count goal to a project you were already working on? No one's stopping you!

I hope your month goes well and that you enjoy your project!! Writing is definitely not easy and a challenge doesn't make it any easier!

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #14: in which Cameron and Joanie have some brunch

[CN: descriptions of food/prep]

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When Joanie came home in April of 1998 for her annual spring trip back to the states, Cameron had just begun her ’sabbatical.’ For much of that year, Cameron was focused on finally, fully settling in at Donna’s house (along with Licorice, who was now almost a year old) and on resting before starting work on a new game, and had taken a sudden interest in homemaking, the histories of domestic and agricultural labor, and most shockingly to Joanie, getting up in the actual morning, and at the same time every day. 

Once content to practically live in her pajamas when she wasn’t going anywhere, Cameron now got up at 9:30 on most weekdays, went downstairs and put on some coffee, made sure that the cat’s water and dry food bowls were full, and then went out to check on the garden and enjoy a few minutes of sunlight. After cereal and coffee, she would go back upstairs to do some morning journaling, which she’d been inspired to try after Donna added some collections by Mary Oliver and Emily Dickinson to their home library. Cameron didn’t think of herself as a very eloquent or even fluid writer, but she still hunkered down in the bedroom arm chair by the window and happily scribbled down notes on how she’d slept and if she’d any dreams, her plants and her on-going kitchen projects, recipes and restaurants she and Donna had tried, movies, tv shows, books, and articles she’d been looking at, Licorice’s favorite toys and treats, and conversations that she’d had with her growing circle of internet friends. And then she would shower, get dressed, and go back downstairs. Most mornings, Cameron was doing chores and searching for home and kitchen improvement projects she could do by 10:15. 

Joanie, who had only witnessed any of this because she was jetlagged for the first few days she was back in California, had gone back to staying up till 3 am and sleeping until noon as soon as she was physically able to do so. When she did finally make it downstairs, Cameron was in the kitchen, radio on, her books and notepads and mugs cluttering the island. Joanie would pour herself a large bowl of whatever cereal Cameron had purchased that week, and enjoy it in front of the tv, leaving Cameron to do her work. It was lonely, and it felt a little like being with a stranger, now that Cameron was her mother’s live-in girlfriend, and Joanie was something of a prodigal daughter, and an expatriate.

Ten days into her visit, Joanie came downstairs and found Cameron sitting at the island with some coffee. There were no books, just a large bowl of freshly rinsed grapes, and a basket of towels that were still warm from the dryer. “Want some brunch?” Cameron offered.

“Sure,” Joanie said. “I mean, yes. That would be nice.”

Cameron smiled, got up, and went around the island, into the kitchen, and to the refrigerator. Joanie sat down, and Licorice, seemingly able to sense that food was about to be prepared, trotted over from the big window that looked out on the pool, and sprang up on to the stool next to Joanie’s. She sat up on her hind legs, and looked expectantly into the kitchen.

Joanie leaned over to her. “Come here often?” When Licorice didn’t respond, Joanie nodded, “You’re right, that’s a terrible and cliché line.” 

Cameron set a mug of coffee and carton of creamer in front of Joanie, and pushed the bowl of grapes toward her, and then went back to the stove, where her favorite frying pan was warming up. 

“So my mom has like, fully domesticated you, huh?” Joanie said, reaching for the mug and the creamer.

Cameron, who was beating their eggs, shrugged gently. “It’s nice to have a home after living out of a duffel bag for your entire adult life. It seems silly, at first, but then, you realize that it isn’t.” Setting down the bowl, Cameron said, “Tell you what: in a few years when you find something more permanent, after a few more years of bouncing back and forth between cities and hostels and capsule hotels, I’ll ask you how you feel about it?”

Sipping her coffee, Joanie agreed, “Deal.” She put down her mug, and timidly, asked Cameron, “Do you ever wonder what Tori Lowman might say if she could see you playing house for real, with my mom?”

Cameron shook her head as she whisked the eggs into her now warm pan. “You’re really never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

The warmth in Cameron’s voice reminded Joanie that she was home, even if Northern California wasn’t her home anymore. “Back in Dallas,” Joanie started, “my only real friend was this girl named Heather. I think that maybe she was my Tori Loman.” 

The eggs were just starting to set, so Cameron turned down the heat, and used her favorite spatula to pull the egg mixture in, toward the center of the pan. Over her shoulder, she said, “…oh?”

Joanie sighed quietly, relieved by this endearingly momish response. “She was the only person at school that I really liked. She had long black hair, and she was a little taller than I was, and she was broader than I was too. We used to go down to this creek and ride our bikes after school. And I just, I wanted to do that every day. Like, for the rest of time.”

Cameron grinned as she laid some strips of bacon in the pan. “That sounds about right.”

“She used to take these dance classes,” Joanie continued. “I kind of hated dancing, but I wanted to sign up for her classes, until I realized that they were like, these special Native American dance classes? Her family was Apache, and they used to go to these special dance competitions and tribal events on the weekends. I wanted to go to one of them. I think if I’d asked my mom, she probably would have tried to work something out. But I never did, I was too scared?”

Still listening, and now thinking, Cameron pulled two plates out of the dishwasher. She spooned the eggs and bacon onto their plates, and then reached for the english muffin halves she’d toasted, and placed them carefully on the side. She picked up the plates, turned back to Joanie, and placed them down on the island. She rested her hands on the island, and then, shrewdly, said, “You were afraid that you’d have fun, and that your crush on her would get worse. Or harder to ignore?”

Joanie couldn’t believe what a relief it was to hear someone else say it, get it.

Licorice, front paws on the counter, strained to get nearer to the plates. “No, you already ate,” Cameron said. She grabbed a grape from the bowl and rolled it toward Licorice, who was transfixed. She batted it off the table, and jumped down to the floor to play with it. Crisis averted, Cameron grabbed some forks from the drawer, and then went around the island, handed Joanie a fork, and sat down next to her, taking Licorice’s seat.

Joanie picked up half of her english muffin and took a large bite out of it. She chewed thoughtfully, and then picked up her fork. She swallowed, and then said, “Heather seemed all well-behaved and agreeable, but she wasn’t really. She had a bb gun, and she would practice shooting at guns and bottles, and she wanted to learn archery, and how to throw knives. She liked Heart and Led Zeppelin, they were her dad and her mom’s favorite bands. She had older brothers, and she knew all these dirty jokes because of them and she would tell them and I would always laugh at them even though we didn’t really know what they meant? She also liked to steal her brothers’ clothes and wear them when we rode bikes. And she would make me race her even when I said I didn’t feel like it, and she would chase bullies, and she would be mean to them. Like, really mean. And she would curse them, like she would say she was putting an ‘Indian curse’ on them.” She paused to eat some of her food, which must have been getting cold, and then finally, she said, “I wish I’d tried to talk to her after we moved to California. I figured we’d never talk again, and I thought that maybe that would be better. I should’ve at least tried to be her pen pal though, or something.”

Cameron, who had finished most of her brunch while listening to Joanie, picked up her mug and drank some of her coffee. And then, she said, “Tori Loman had curly, frizzy black hair that she would say she didn’t like, but I never thought there was anything wrong with it. I liked it. She liked arts and crafts and coloring and making snacks with her mom. Her favorite snack was hot chocolate and cinnamon sugar toast. I wish I could be pen pals or something with her, too,” she said, before taking another sip of her coffee. 

Joanie ate the last of her eggs and bacon, and then she said, “When I first moved to Thailand, I met this girl named Sawyer, at the hostel. But I didn’t see her for a while, so we didn’t get a chance to really talk, but then one day I went out with this guy I had met, an Italian, from Florence, who turned out to be pushy and annoying and he followed me to my room and he kept trying to get me to invite him into my room even though I told him I was ready to go to bed, and Sawyer came out into the hallway and started, like, hassling him? Mostly in English but then she was shouting him down in Italian? And she finally got him to leave, and then we started talking. I asked her if she spoke Italian and she said no, but that ‘You’re bothering her, leave her alone’ is one of the first things she learns how to say whenever she goes anywhere, and that she knows how to say it in like, eight different languages?” Smiling broadly, Joanie finished, “And that was kind of just that. We’ve been partners in crime ever since. She was always going on day trips and weekend trips to different cities and islands outside of Bangkok, and she would invite me every time, and I would go with her as often as I could. We would try to rent bikes wherever we went, when we could. And after a while it felt like, I could do that for the rest of time. With her.” 

Cameron leaned back in her chair. “In romcoms, they call that a ‘meet cute’.” 

Joanie blushed. “Since when do you watch romcoms?”

“I don’t! But that’s what I’ve heard, I saw something about it on an internet message board,” Cameron said quickly. She picked up her plate, and then took Joanie’s, and walked them over to the kitchen counter near the dishwasher. She grabbed the coffee pot, and returned to her mug to refill it. “So is Sawyer…does she have a Tori Loman in her past, somewhere?”

Joanie pushed her mug toward Cameron’s, and as she added the rest of the coffee to it, Joanie said, “If I understand correctly, she has a few Tori Lomans.”

“Ah. I see,” Cameron said. She returned the pot to the coffee maker, and then went back to her seat. 

Staring down into her coffee, Joanie said, “I miss her. I’m glad I’m here. Like, really glad I’m here. Not everyone I’ve met has a home to go back to, you know? I wish that she could be here, though. I wish you and mom could meet her.”

Cameron cackled. “Your mother would lose her mind if you brought someone, anyone home for her to meet, Jesus. It’d be like the holidays, when she gets that vibe like she’s planning some kind of tactical land invasion, it would be peak Donna Emerson.” Tapping her mug excitedly with a nail, Cameron grinned, “It will drive me nuts. I can’t wait.” 

Slouching in her seat, Joanie sighed, “I feel like you’ll probably be waiting for a while. I feel like she would like to, but I can’t imagine it working out.” Joanie started to fiddle idly with her hair, wrapping the ends of it around her finger, and unwinding it. “Our lives are just like, so far removed from everything here? Which, that’s kind of the point, it’s okay. But she’s like, really different, about home. Or ‘home,’ or whatever,” she said, making air quotes with her fingers. “I’m waiting to go home, but like, in a good way, if that makes sense? I’m know I’m not supposed to yet, but I look for signs, and I know it will happen eventually. I’ll figure out what I’m supposed to do, and someday I’ll figure out how to do that here. But I don’t think Sawyer thinks that way, she’s always looking for the next adventure. Which is why I love her. But I don’t think she’ll see coming here as an adventure.”

Gently, Cameron said, “Joanie….” She kicked the foot of her stool playfully. “When I was living in Japan, do you ever think I felt like I’d wind up here? With you mom?”

“Probably not, I guess,” Joanie said, smiling tentatively.

“We dwell in possibility,” Cameron said, getting up and out of her seat again as she paraphrased Emily Dickinson. “Come on, let’s go find something fun to do,” she grabbed her mug.”You can tell me more about Sawyer, which I can use to make fun of you whenever you bring up Tori Loman.”

Joanie thought about arguing, but then she got up, grabbed her coffee, and followed Cameron. 

[sublimateradiate]

🖤 🖤 tag game! get to know me 🖤 🖤

tagged by: theamazing @thetaoofbetty

1. what is the color of your hairbrush? Plain black, with a red rubber inside. Do hairbrushes usually come in exciting colors?

2. name a food you never eat- BANANAS. They are my nemesis. Don't tell me how delicious they are. They're the devil's fruit. Interestingly enough, I love plantains.

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? Too cold, but mostly because of that bullshit in the office where the temp is prioritized to men in suits. Also because whenever my mother visits, she goes through my apartment and opens all the windows, no matter the season.

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Finally getting around to working on my LinkedIn profile, and cringing all the while. The employment world changes a lot while you're working for the same company for 11 years...

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? If we're talking regular gas station candy, probably the dark chocolate Twix. If we're getting fancy, any bar of dark chocolate 90% or above.

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yup, baseball games when I was little and then purposely to the WNBA because have you seen them???? Sigh.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?  Singing along with the music I have playing. So based on what the last song was probably "I have to carry the cross" whispered dramatically.

8. what is your favorite ice cream? The original Breyer's Vanilla Fudge Twirl, which doesn't exist anymore. (the current version is "frozen dessert" and has all these fillers in it that make it mushy and foamy, so gross)

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? Tea from the goth con called "Black Tea #1" which is a play on a Type O Negative song.  10. do you like your wallet? My wallet is serviceable. I don't like getting rid of things until they break, so consequently I've had the same black leather wallet on a chain since 8th grade. When I bought it, it has a silver dragon stamped on it, but it's so old you can't see it anymore. 

11. what is the last thing you ate? Chocolate chip pumpkins muffins that I recently made. And I still have so much pumpkin left, I have to figure out what to do with it.

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Nope. Thankfully. I'm trying not to do that. But shein has so much crazy shit dirt cheap I often go through it, put 30 things in the cart, then close the browser.

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? Fencing in the last Olympics, whenever that was.

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Cheddar or caramel. 

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? A friend to figure out what a group watch is gonna be.

16. ever been camping? Yup, used to go all the time when I was little as a family vacation. I miss it.

17. do you take vitamins? Yup, I have iron and vitamin D deficiencies, because I am an actual vampire.

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? Nope!

19. do you have a tan? No, I stay out of the sun and/or wear sunscreen because skin cancer. .

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? Pizza for sure. I mean, it has cheese.

21. do you drink your soda through a straw? only if you

22. what color socks do you usually wear? I have a collection of weirdly patterned socks that I wear when I'm going out, for the last couple of months I've just been wearing black non-skid toeless yoga socks so I don't fall on my ass while creeping around the apartment.

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?  Not unless I'm goaded to "go at the speed of traffic" by a companion and even then I only do it grudgingly. I stay out of the left lane though, so no one should care.

24. what terrifies you? Facism. Also waterbugs, but I'm working on it.

25. look to your left, what do you see? My dining room and fish tank.

26. what chore do you hate most? Washing dishes without gloves (with gloves totally fine) or changing the sheets because it's always an ordeal. Oh, and I'd add folding fitted sheets, but that would imply that implies it actually happens instead of me just getting frustrated and balling it up. 

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? @lucivar , an absolutely delightful person with a delightful accent.

28. what’s your favorite soda? Does ginger beer count?

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive through, as I'm usually only in them if I'm traveling.

30. what’s your favorite number? 8. Dunno why.

31. who’s the last person you talked to? my mother.

32. favorite meat? I'm a vegetarian, but quail, based entirely on an experience I had at Medieval Times as a child.

33. last song you listened to? "Sober Up" by Lizette Lizette

34. last book you read? @strangenightsofdaydreams got me into reading romance novels this month and I just finished "The Governess Game" by Tessa Dare.

35. favorite day of the week? Saturday. Does anyone actually put a weekday as this answer?

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? Very slowly, tortuously, and it would involve me reciting the alphabet in my head multiple times.

37. how do you like your coffee? Not a coffee person, but I can tolerate mochas.

38. favorite pair of shoes? That I wear regularly? My one pair of knee high lace up boots with no zipper, because I am a stereotype. Otherwise I have several lovely pair of heels I fall over in. 

39. time you normally get up? Reader, I wish I knew.

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunrises.

41. how many blankets are on your bed? 2

42. describe your kitchen plates? White rounded squares with a black accent. One of those standard corelle sets.

43. describe your kitchen at the moment: Well stocked and chilly.

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? Limoncello, Irish Cream over ice, peach Lambic. I also have a fondness anything with a particularly weird flavor, like Birkir, which comes with an actual twig in it.

45. do you play cards? That involves other people, so the last time was a long time ago.

46. what color is your car? Don't have one. My old car was mint green.

47. can you change a tire? Nope. I'm lucky I even know how to drive, most people in my city don't.

48. your favorite state or province? I don't really have feelings about states? I guess Ohio, because I went to school there.

49. favorite job you’ve had? Creating a handbook for a program that had been running for years but never had one.  If @lucivar , @a-true-janian-reply , @meditationonbaaal, or @strangenightsofdaydreams, feel like doing this, go ahead. But don't feel compelled to, it's long. long post

[easyluckyfree45]

tag game

tag game!

tagged by @latenightcoffeetalks. thanks babe!!

1. what is the color of your hairbrush? it’s a green one that i bought in taiwan that is specifically for detangling and asian hair!

2. name a food you never eat. i eat everything. i prefer not to eat peas but if you put it in front of me at a dinner table, i’ll still eat it. 

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm. i run hot.

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching the second season of unsolved mysteries. i watched the one about the earthquake & tsunami that hit Japan and now i am very sad.

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? 100 grand. does anybody still remember those? no, just me? kkz, cool.

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? yeah, i live in boston. it’s pretty much illegal if i’ve never attended a red sox game so yes, i have. 

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? okay, bye! (to my husband who just left)

8. what is your favorite ice cream? banana cinnamon

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? iced coffee

10. do you like your wallet? i love my wallet

11. what is the last thing you ate?  noodles bless up

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i did not

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? probably football. i don’t really remember though.

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? i liked the regular buttered kind. extra butter tho because wtf are you doing if you don’t get it with extra butter?!

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend ethan yelling at him for recc-ing the unsolved mysteries episode i just watched because now i am sad

16. ever been camping? yeeeeee

17. do you take vitamins? i’m old so yes, i take multiple vitamins a day

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope

19. do you have a tan? yeah! though it’s fading because winter is coming

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese

21. do you drink your soda through a straw? of course

22. what color socks do you usually wear? just regular black socks

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?  in residential areas, no. on the freeway, yes.

24. what terrifies you? the dark and scary stories

25. look to your left, what do you see? my cat moo. he’s hanging out.

26. what chore do you hate most? cleaning out the litter box

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? hugh jackman

28. what’s your favorite soda? a&w root beer

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? it depends on the place but i usually go in. it’s faster.

30. what’s your favorite number? 45 (not surprising i’m sure!)

31. who’s the last person you talked to? @moons2stars brainstorming her potterdale fic

32. favorite meat? duck

33. last song you listened to? all for you by janet jackson

34. last book you read? last book: just finished arrogant boss by olivia hayle

35. favorite day of the week? saturday

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? ughhh yes but it takes me a while to do it. also, how do people do this drunk? i can barely do it sober

37. how do you like your coffee? iced always. plus vanilla creamer

38. favorite pair of shoes? i love my sandals from dsw and my allbirds. yes, i am a millennial. 

39. time you normally get up? well it’s covid time so i get to sleep more so weekdays, 8am and weekends, 10:30am

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunset

41. how many blankets are on your bed? two

42. describe your kitchen plates: i have a variety. most of them are either from ikea, west elm or crate & barrel

43. describe your kitchen at the moment: it’s big. there’s an island and a bunch of cabinets. i cook a loooooooooooot so a big kitchen is very important to me. 

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? wine: riesling or moscato, beer: unfiltered cider, i prefer downeast or bantam. cocktail: anything sweet and fruity. always vodka.

45. do you play cards? i do

46. what color is your car? i don’t have a car rn but i’m probably going to buy one within the next year and it’s going to be either red or grey

47. can you change a tire? yes. very proud of this. 

48. your favorite state or province? california!!!!!

49. favorite job you’ve had? my current job. i work in an art museum as a registrar. i love the constant interaction with art and helping to increase accessibility to our collection.

[skywatch3rs]

A Sunday mushing adventure

One of the first questions I got from friends about being at a folkehøgskole was what we do on a day off. Often I'll take the opportunity to sleep in; living with a chronic illness means I need to make the most of the time I can rest. However, sometimes I use a free day to go on an adventure!

*** Sunday 17.1.21 – Sledding with Mailin

Sunday is always a free day, so we get to do whatever we want! Normally I have a long lie in, but one of my friends isn’t feeling well, so I’m taking his feeding shift today, so I’m up at 9 to get dressed and head to the dog yard. It’s a balmy -4ºC today, so I’m just wearing one layer of wool underwear under my thick hiking pants and wool sweater, snow boots, hat and gloves. Now that it’s too cold to leave water in the bowls all day, we feed the dogs a soup in the morning to make sure they stay hydrated enough; equal amounts of meat and kibble, mixed in with lots of warm water and left to soak for about 15 minutes while we scoop poop. Tequila and Tibia both pick the kibble out of their soup and then tip their bowls over, and spend the rest of the morning licking at the snow where the meat water spilled over (weirdos). Ami doesn’t like her soup, but happily chews on a ‘meatsicle’– the disk of now-frozen soup that was accidentally left in her bowl overnight.

After plenty of cuddles, the three of us who fed today head back to our dorms to change out of our “dog clothes” before breakfast. I realise this is possibly only the second time ever that I’ve been to breakfast on a Sunday! It’s 2 hours later than on a weekday, at 10am, and I am normally always either already out doing something or still asleep, depending on the weekend.

Today I’m heading over to my friend Mailin’s to run dogs with her at 11, so I change back into my dog clothes, putting on an extra layer of wool. Between the wind and the fact you’re mostly either sitting as a passenger or standing quite still on the runners, it’s always colder when you’re out mushing. For Christmas I got myself a new pair of felted wool boots and overshoes to wear when I mush, because my old snow boots weren’t warm enough for my feet– I have terrible circulation– so I’m excited to try them out for the first time! Mailin is a friend of a friend, and has become an unofficial mentor to me in the past few months. She’s a seasoned musher who lives directly across the road from the school, and most weekends and some weekday afternoons I go over to train the dogs with her. All of last semester we were using either her car or ATV because there wasn’t enough snow, so today is going to be my first sled trip with her! I’m also taking with me several bottles of coca cola and some chocolate, as a thank you for the four bags of mushing gear that no longer fits her that she gave me last week. There were some real gems in there, and I know she won’t accept any money for them, so payment in sugar it is.

Geizzi in her tshirt being used as a chin-rest by Uvja

This morning Mailin wants to take out the puppies on a run; she has 5 pups who are 10 months old now, so they can run shorter distances than the adult dogs. We harness up pups Rajapää and Sorbme along with adult dogs Geizzi, Uvja, Timo, Hulda and Lelu, and Mailin show’s me how to tie a slipknot– her way of securing the sled to a post before we start. At school we use a different system involving pulling a short, thick stick out of two interconnected loops, and I have to say I prefer the slipknot method. One of the incredibly valuable things about training with Mailin has been seeing alternative ways of doing things with the dogs, as it means I have some familiarity wider variety of techniques. Mailin trains her dogs to stay quiet while we harness them up, which means things take a little longer, as every time one of the puppies starts barking, we stop what we’re doing and wait for them to stop again before we continue. Once all the dogs have their harnesses on, we start bringing them up to the line, and that’s when the full force of excited barking is allowed to start. Even after 5 months of mushing, that sound still fills me with a rush of joy and adrenaline.

I settle myself in the sled– I’ve only driven one three times before, so I assume I’ll be a passenger today, though Mailin has said I might be able to drive in the future, which is an absolute honour, considering the standard she has for her dogs, and the trust involved. She pulls the rope to undo the slipknot, and we’re off! I always love training with her dogs, but it is vastly different being a passenger in the sled than sitting in her car with her as we trained the dogs last year. The trail out of her dog yard is bumpy and windy, including a part where we both have to lean as hard as we can to the left, to try not to tip the sled into a ditch as we go up a slope; she wanted to fill it in earlier in the season, but there hasn’t been enough snow to do so. We make it through the bend, and suddenly we are out on the frozen river which marks the border between Norway and Russia. The sun came back yesterday; it rose above the horizon for the first time since November, putting an end to ‘mørketid’ (dark time), and Mailin tells me it’s traditional to make a wish when you see the sun again for the first time. I wish I’d known that yesterday, I would have wished for more snow!

The stunning view from the sled, out on the Pasvik river

Mushing is always beautiful, but today is particularly gorgeous: the dogs running smoothly out on the frozen river, with the most spectacular sunrise/set happening in front of us. I honestly can’t believe this is my life now. Then, as if I wasn’t already feeling like the luckiest person in the world, Mailin asks me if I want to mush. I’m incredulous– she trusts me with this already?! But the trail is smooth and mostly straight, so it’s great for a relative beginner like me. I jump out of the sled, hop on the runners, and off we go again. Immediately, I’m struck by how much better my new boots are than my old ones: they’re wider, so I have more surface area to grip the runners, and thinner and more flexible in the soles, so I can feel what’s under my feet better. My toes stay toasty warm the whole four hours I’m out with Mailin, which is a record.

We mush down the river, past the house of the friend who introduced us, Anne. If I wasn’t terrified of letting go of the sled, I would have taken a picture to send to her, but I settle for just telling her later. Soon, we get to the point where we need to turn the team, which is where things get difficult. I assume Mailin will want to take over again, but she lets me keep driving. We are trying to get the dogs to turn to the left and loop around so we can go back, but our leaders, Geizzi and Uvja, are not having it. Tiny superstar Geizzi pushes Uvja over to the left when Mailin gives her ‘haw’ command, but Uvja just runs over to the next parallel trail, so I have to break, stop the team, and give the command again. We repeat this several times, until eventually Geizzi drags the team around by turning to the right– not what we wanted them to do, but at least we managed to turn the dogs finally! I then add to the slight chaos by not turning the sled fast enough– Mailin’s sled is longer than the ones we use at school– so I crash us into a tussock, and flip the sled for the first time. I’m mortified, both because I have tipped Mailin onto the ice, and because I instinctively let go of the sled when it tipped, something you should never ever do; if you’re alone and you let go, the team will just run off without you. Luckily everyone is fine, and Mailin doesn’t mind: “every musher tips the sled sometimes!”. I’m glad she is nonchalant about this, because a few kilometres later, as we head back towards her dog yard, I tip the sled again into the ditch she navigated so smoothly on the way out. Nevertheless, we make it back to the dog yard in one piece, and Mailin asks me if I want to go out again. I still have 2 hours until dinner, so obviously the answer is yes!

We unhook the dogs, take the two puppies out of their harnesses, and then harness up Roavvi and Koru. The third pup, Biekhan, and adults Toivo, Vandre and Storm had dog chiropractic sessions yesterday (yes, that is a thing!), so they aren’t going to run today, and neither is Ella, who is in heat. I wolf down a square of peanut butter flapjack and half a bottle of soda, then hop back into the sled to head back out onto the river. We take the same route out of the dog yard, and Mailin shows me up again by navigating the ditch perfectly, but she does have more than a decade of experience on me, so I don’t take it too hard. One we make it out onto the river, we turn left instead of right, taking the trail up towards where the river gets narrower, hugging the Norwegian edge of the ice. Just after the 5km turning point, Mailin lets me switch places and drive again, which results in me accidentally letting the team start before I have given them the command to; not a great habit for them to get into, but it is so beautiful out on the river that neither of us can be too annoyed. Mailin takes some pictures of me grinning like a loon while driving, and then I complete the hat trick of sled tips with a third and final plunge into that damned ditch. I really need to practice not letting go when I fall, which means I have to tip the sled more to practice, so at least today was a useful lesson in that!

For some reason, Mailin insisted on hiding under the sled bag while taking a photo of me driving the team

Back at the dog yard, we unharness the puppies, and move the adults back to their houses for a brief snack break of some tasty frozen horse meat. Mailin is going to take the adults out again for another 30km or so after she has a quick lunch, to try and get them up to about 60km today. If she was racing this year she would be doing 300km over the weekend, but with so many young dogs, and no Finnmarksløpet ambitions until 2022, a short 60km is just fine for today. After giving the dogs one last cuddle, we head into the garage for Mailin to find her old mountain skis, which I’m going to borrow for the next couple of months, since skis are so expensive to buy new, and she doesn’t use hers very often. Norwegians don’t really do politeness in the same way Brits do, so I try to reel in my instinct to offer profuse thanks, and just say one short sincere thank you instead.

Skis in hand, I walk back across the road to school, change back into normal clothes, and head to dinner. We have 4 meals a day at school: breakfast, lunch at 11:30, middag (a hot dinner) at 3pm, and kveldsmat (supper) at 7:30. I got used to it last semester, but now that I’ve been back in the UK for Christmas, it feels weird to be eating the biggest meal of the day in the middle of the afternoon. Food at school can be a bit hit and miss, but today it is finbif, one of my favourites! I have kitchen duty this week, so after dinner I head into the kitchen to help with the dishes, which takes me right back to working as a waitress. Finally I have a couple of hours of down time before I need to feed the dogs in the evening, so I re-shave my undercut, shower, call my grandma, and chill out with a book for a bit. Then it’s back to the dog yard, where we feed with just meat in the evening. It snows a little bit, which is sorely needed, as it’s been a bad winter so far. I go back to my dorm, change, head to dinner, do my kitchen duty, and collapse into bed to watch the US men’s nationals figure skating with a couple of friends before I head to sleep, ready for my first normal school day back after Christmas tomorrow!

[cassieseraphim]

WELL WELL WELL HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23

1. how do you take your tea / coffee?

2. if you could be fluent in any language at the snap of your fingers, which one and why?

3. when do you wake up?

4. what was your favourite tv show as a kid?

5. summer or winter?

6. realist, optimist, or pessimist?

7. rain or sunshine?

8. how do you mark your spot in a book?

9. what are your favourite shoes like?

10. what would your non-perfume/cologne signature scent be?

11. if you were a dragon, what would you look like?

12. is your handwriting more print, cursive, or a mix?

13. what colour would your lightsaber be?

14. what is your defining personality trait?

15. roller skates or rollerblades or ice skates?

16. are you an only child? oldest / middle / youngest?

17. what would your superpower be? how would you use it?

18. what’s your clothing colour palette?

19. pet snake or pet bird?

20. weapon of choice in a medieval battle

21. the best ice cream flavour

22. what spices do you always use when cooking?

23. default font when typing?

1. Tea: if it’s black tea, like english breakfast tea or something, I’m usually cool with a bit of agave sweetener and a splash of milk. Other teas are normally just sweetener or honey. Coffee: sugar and cream babey

2. I mean, Greek would be great, but I’ve already spent so much time and money learning it...so maybe Spanish

3. Weekdays: now that I’m WFH, like 8am. Weekends: ????????????

4. Oh god I fuckin LOVED Zoids: Chaotic Century. I used to get up at like 6am on school days in middle school just to watch the reruns on cartoon network.

5. I’ve grown to love summer so much more. More sunlight hours, more events, and often less depression aye

6. Optimist, but semi-grounded about it.

7. If I get to be inside, I love rain. God I love rain. 

8. Sometimes a bookmark, which is often a receipt or some other not-bookmark item, or pure chaos of “I’ll just say the page number out loud and hope I remember.”

9. Almost wrecked at this point. They’re a pair of heeled lace-up boots with a zip up the back, and red plaid lining inside. The heel is chunky and solid, and makes SUCH a good bitch click when I walk <3 But they’re looking pretty ratty by now.

10. The kind of vanilla scent that usually floats through the air by the beach, whether from a candy store, ice cream shop, donut shop, or various scented sunscreens.

11. Studious and sleek, dark blue and shiny scales.

12. Print, for sure. But I also write in all-caps-small-caps, like a serial killer, often.

13. I really want purple. I just really want purple

14. Kindness, I hope. I want it to be.

15. You put me on shoes that don’t stop when I want them to? I’m not gonna do well. I know from experience. It’s a tragic sight.

16. Younger of two, my sister is 5y older.

17. I just want retractable badass giant wings. I’d fly, of course, but also just because I want to look dope as hell

18. Black and wine/burgundy mostly

19. Snek. They’re so CUTE

20. A mace seems like it would have a satisfying sound when it sunk into an enemy’s face yknow

21. Mint Oreo is the best one I’ve ever encountered

22. I’m a whore for dill. But I also keep stocked red pepper flakes, salt and pepper of course, ground mustard, garlic powder, onion powder, basil, oregano, parsley, and cayenne.

23. What does this mean? seriously what is this even asking me? I just use? The font? That’s there? What

Alright Marylan THERE

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 16)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15

Thanks to @ladyreapermc for her mention in “This is Not a Rom Com” of Neruda’s love poems  - what a beautiful thing to discover!

Warnings: Angst

She Said

I stood in Keanu’s kitchen a couple of days later, tears streaming down my face as I read a verse from Neruda’s Sonnet 17. Keanu had put a print out in English inside this page. I’m guessing he’d only come across it in translation and I knew why this one meant so much to him, to us. I’d read it as a younger woman,  before I really had a clue what it meant to love like this.

… so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

He’d often said how at ease I made him feel, right from the start of our romantic involvement and this poem articulated that closeness and ease so perfectly. I messaged him quickly. “sonnet 17!” followed by crying face emoji. I did a quick calculation of the time in Germany  - he wouldn’t be working yet anyway as he had to quarantine for 2 weeks first.  Hopefully he wouldn’t be sleeping.  I hit send.

A moment or so later, a video call pinged in, which I accepted despite fearing I must look a state after the crying!

“Hey sweetie, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

“It’s OK – they’re happy  tears, kind a!! I smiled at him.  “Miss you so much”

“miss you more!” he countered. “I am so bored, I’ve got nothing else to think about except how much I miss you!”

“Poor baby”

“What about learning the script? And training?”

“Script yes, you’re right, and some training is possible in the gym here … you at O now while I’m at H?!”

“well we have to be on rotation right?”

He kissed his fingers and blew me a kiss. He really is just the sweetest soul.

We talked some more then he let me go so I could get on with the household chores I was dealing with at his house.  I wanted to get going quickly  - being there was definitely harder than being at my home from a ‘missing him’ point of view.

In the first month, it was pretty easy to stay in touch which we did most days via a video call at the end of his working day . When the kids were with me we’d shift it to later at his end and do the call at our lunchtime so they’d have a few minutes to share their stories of the day. Often in the weekday calls,  the other kids  would realise that my two had disappeared and would hunt them down meaning Keanu was dealing with 5 kids muscling in on the call as the others didn’t want to miss out on video calling a movie star!

Once filming proper started though, the calls became harder to achieve as filming didn’t always go to plan and he was staying in an apartment a little way from the studios. I had been around movie sets enough in the past when I was a runner to know how chaotic it could get but I found weekend lapses harder to forgive.

One Saturday in July, the kids and I got ourselves all set at 9am but were left hanging with no Keanu in sight and no response from him to texts and messages.  As it turned out , they’d added an extra day’s filming to the schedule and he’d intended to do the call from set as he knew he wouldn’t finish on time to do it from his apartment but had left his phone behind. Another time he fell asleep and a third he simply forgot!

When it was just me affected, I was merely hurt but when he forget, when the kids were excited to see him and share their achievements, my Latin hot temper got the better of me and I ignored his messages for 3 whole days. By day 4  (and after flowers and cards had been sent by him to apologise) his voicemail messages to me were getting frantic and I  caved and picked up his call.

“Thank god you’re OK, I was about to send my sister round to check on you!, Listen you know I’m sorry I let you all down, I promise to do better. Please forgive me Sophia”

I stared at my hands, still fuming and feeling like we’d become an afterthought to him all those thousands of miles away.

“Sophia, please” he pleaded.

“You have to do better” I said pouting.

“I know sweetheart, I know and I will, are the kids there?”

I nodded.

“can I talk to them, tell them I’m sorry?”

I fetched them from the other room and soon saw they had far less difficulty with their forgiveness than me. That made me realise that maybe my righteous anger had been more about me and less about them.

Keanu gave them his full attention, looking at their paintings and listening to their stories. Soon we were laughing and everything felt more relaxed at last.

 He Said

Boy did I fuck up. No wonder she was mad at me. I’d screwed up, missing  calls 3 times and 2 times when the kids were involved  - I thoroughly deserved her wrath. I sent flowers, cards and left numerous messages before finally managing to get her to pick up one of my calls after 4 days of the cold shoulder.

Luckily, she let me speak to the kids and it was clear they weren’t actually that upset. Their chatter and positivity relaxed the atmosphere and I capitalised on that, asking Miguel to give Eva a hug on my behalf to say sorry. Then it was Sophia’s turn as I asked Eva to hug her on my behalf. She dutifully squeezed her mother and Sophia looked over her shoulder straight at me into the iPad camera. I mouthed “Forgive me”  and “Please” and saw her nod her head slightly, her eyes crinkling  up as she smiled just a little.

“Ok kids, time to let me and Keanu have a chat on our own” she said, taking them back to the living room.

“So am I forgiven” I asked on her return, still slightly fearful of her reply.

“Yes, OK but Keanu how are we going to keep this going? There’s at least 3 more months and, god it’s so hard when you go awol. If we make the calls less often, do you think you can commit to them with more certainty?”

“Yes, yes, I promise. And you know I’d fly back in a heartbeat if I could to make it up to you but we can’t leave, even if there were time in the schedule, we have to stay put till the end”

“I know honey, I know”

“What else can I do?”

“Let’s just try to keep in touch properly, regularly. We knew this would be hard, our relationship is so new and this distance” she said, gesturing between herself and my image on the iPad  “well it would be tough even if we’d been together longer”

“You’re not regretting starting it are you?” I couldn’t keep the quaver out of my voice.

Thankfully she shook her head “no” and I rubbed my fingers against the image of her face on the screen.

“I wish I could be there, touch you, hold you!”

“Me too”

 She Said

Luckily, with fewer calls arranged and some focus on Keanu’s part, we didn’t have any more missed calls but it was still tough to keep things going over the next few months without any physical contact. Keanu was a class act when it came to long distance love though, regularly sending me flowers, books, more love poetry and hand written love letters of his own. He’d write them during downtime on the set and they helped quell the worries that had been growing about whether we could make this work longer term. I knew film shoots were often outside LA and, post pandemic I guessed there’d be a return to promotional tours and premieres in person.  We were always going to have to deal with separation.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles  

[purplesurveys]

990

survey by starsareonly2nd

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? No. Doesn’t sound like my type of city. I wouldn’t mind visiting the rest of Nevada though.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Just a cup of coffee; I skip breakfast except on Sundays, when we actually sit down at the dining table and eat as a family.

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? I don’t have any pockets right now but I do have very few coins in my wallet. I used to have plenty, but I’ve given most of them away because I usually give tips to the nice people who help me get out of parking spots.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I like some of her songs, especially the ones from 1989, but I have no idea why I just can’t get into her as a person.

What's your favorite Disney Channel movie? I haven’t tuned in to that channel for a very long time now, but the movies that I got the most excited about as a kid were Twitches, Wendy Wu, Camp Rock, The Cheetah Girls, and High School Musical 1 and 2.

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? I’d be starstruck in a calm way; like I’d most likely be too shocked to get more than a few words out. I’m sure I’d come off as shy or boring haha, which is why I’ve refused to meet or interact with my favorite celebrities even if I’ve already had the chance to.

Are there any lights on in the room you're in? I have a ceiling light and a desk lamp, but both are turned off. My only light source at the moment is my laptop screen.

What's your favorite subject in school? History.

What's your favorite holiday? My birthday, if that counts. Christmas can also be great but only for the food, the reunions with extended family, and the freedom to guiltlessly cut off contact with colleagues for a couple of weeks. All other aspects of it make me miserable though.

Do you ever have to do yard work? I’ve never had to do that before.

Is your school close to your house? I mean, it wasn’t a 10-minute walk away but it’s relatively close and driving to my university objectively doesn’t take too long unless there’s heavy traffic. If there’s absolutely no barriers I could get to school in 15-20 minutes, but this is really only just for weekends where I have to go to school for some reason. If there’s traffic (and there always is), I take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? I haven’t been to my school since the first week of March, and I’ve already graduated since then.

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? I can honestly tell you that I have genuinely never gotten sick of that song. It’s a late 2000s classic, man. Of course it was too explicit for my 11 year old ears when it first came out, but I found it catchy nonetheless.

Do you use perfect grammar online? I always try to be correct, yes. When I use improper grammar it’s usually because I’m joking.

Are you currently using a laptop? Yup.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I haven’t used iTunes in a while and Spotify, which I do use, doesn’t work that way.

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? I’ve never skipped her singles whenever I caught them on the radio and I’ve always fairly enjoyed the music she puts out, but I normally don’t voluntarily listen to her i.e. look up her songs myself on Spotify.

Is it a windy day? It is now that it’s nighttime, but it was a little humid all day today.

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? No. I’m not actually sure if that’s even already allowed...the possibility of public transport is still pretty murky where I live.

What shorthand do you use the most? I have no idea what this means. I did try looking it up but I dunno if I’ve ever had to use shorthand at any point in my life.

Do you ever wish on stars at night? Every now and then, but it’s just the little kid in me.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown. I feel like I answer this at least once a week.

What album is the current song you're listening to off of? Not listening to music but the last song I heard is from an album called Petals For Armor.

What are you doing after you finish this? Try not to cry/break down. Find something to watch on YouTube. Maybe play with Cooper to destress and forget about my problems for a bit.

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? Other than songs I occasionally put on repeat, I have not heard any new music for a while now.

Are you in a band? Nope, never been.

How clean is your bedroom? We just tidied it up and rearranged a few things last month so I’d say it’s clean - at least tidier than it used to be. And I’m a little proud that despite how rough life has been, I’ve managed to keep it clean. It’s the little things.

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? Yeah, there’s one on my desk and I can easily reach out and grab it.

Are you sitting at a desk? I’ve moved to my bed for now. My back does not appreciate sitting at a desk all day.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Female.

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? Yesssssssss. We have a light source by the stairs that extends to the hallway and reaches my room, so it gets super annoying if my door is even just slightly ajar because my eyes get distracted by the faint light. My door has to be completely shut for me to feel comfortable in the privacy of my room.

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? I haven’t. I loooove Lady Marmalade, but I’m just not sure if the movie itself is my cup of tea.

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? I’d love to have the chance to do that, yeah.

Are there any framed pictures in the room you're in? There are a couple.

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? Nope.

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? I don’t think so but I do remember watching a few episodes of Dancing with the Stars because a wrestler that I liked was one of the contestants for one season. I’m just not sure of SYTYCD also featured wrestlers in their shows; if that has been the case in the past- and I’m just not sure because my memory is a little hazy - I would’ve given it a watch.

What's your favorite movie soundtrack? The Twilight Saga churned out some bomb ass soundtracks. Other than that, I also enjoyed Interstellar’s and Requiem for a Dream’s.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Depends on what kind of work needs to be done. If a task is graphic design or video editing-heavy, I would prefer to work with other people; but if it’s gonna be heavy on something that’s already my forte, I like to work by myself.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? Just my car.

Are you wearing anything with stripes? Not at the moment.

What time did you go to sleep last night? 9:45 I think? A little later than 10? Somewhere along that range.

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? No.

What show did you last watch? Friends.

Do you think you'll do anymore surveys today? I doubt it. This one is already quite longer than the surveys I usually take.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream; and more recently, chocolate chip cookie dough.

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? Sometime in February last year. I developed a fever the night before but wasn’t able to start feeling better by the next morning, so I had to skip the one class I had that day.

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? Yes. I’m actually planning to buy a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle; it’s one of the items I’ve put on my cart recently. Depressed Robyn is also spend-a-lot-of-money-on-artsy-craftsy-supplies-Robyn, so.

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? Hell no.

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? Not usually, but sometimes I’ll put on lo-fi since that’s the only kind of music I can listen to and still keep my focus.

Did you think Adam Lambert's AMA performance was really that controversial? I’ve never encountered it, but I doubt I’ll have a problem with it if I do get to watch the performance. I love Adam Lambert and I've never found myself shaking my head at whatever he’s doing.

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? They’re a boy band more than anything but The Vamps has consistently irritated me through the years.

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? No. I used to, but I gave it to my sister.

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? I don’t think so. With all my social media being deactivated I never get notified about birthdays anymore, but I’m fairly sure none of my friends blow out their candles every October 22nd.

When was the last time you rode in a limo? I’ve never been in one.

Do you take naps daily? No. I can’t really do that anymore since I have an 8-hour shift on weekdays, lol.

Do you still make Christmas lists? No.

Do you watch the show Dexter? I tried getting into the show because it used to always be said in the same breath as Breaking Bad, but I never got invested. I heard later seasons sucked too, so that also turned me off from continuing to pursue the series.

What's the background on your phone? I have a motivational comic that says “You’re doing really well given the circumstances” as my lockscreen. Cooper smiling is my home screen.

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? That was six years ago.

Are you scared of any animals? Any flying insect or bug, and I find them scarier if they come with a loud buzz.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? YouTube Fanfest, if that counts as one. I’m not really sure what counts as a convention haha, but that’s the closest thing I’ve got.

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? Why We Ever by Hayley Williams.

Where do you want to live when you grow up? I’ve stopped thinking about that for now. My focus has since shifted to asking myself if I’ll still even be alive in a few years...ugh, how far we’ve fallen.

Are you currently using a blanket? No. It’s not cold enough for a blanket yet, but maybe in a few hours.

Are there any songs that make you cry? A lot.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

What are you doing this weekend? I have no idea.

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? BEEEEEEEEACH. Once I took my first dip in a beach, I never wanted to swim in a pool ever again.

When was the last time you had a haircut? March.

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? Piano, saxophone, and violin. Can’t pick a favorite; I think they all sound beautiful.

Are you in band or chorus at your school? I was never in either.

Do you know what you want for Christmas? Yeah but they’re all intangible. I want to be happy, be at peace, normalcy, etc. I’ve stopped pining for presents, especially now that I can afford my own shit.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year's Eve? Always.

Is your birthday within the next three months? Nope. You’ll have to add three more months to that timeframe.

How long is the song you're listening to? No music.

Are you anticipating anything this week? I’m waiting for a couple of very specific emails to come in, and I hope they do before the week ends.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? My dad, but only by 8 months. They were born in the same year.

Have you taken the SATs yet? I never had to take them, but I heard they’re triiiiiiiicky.

Do you watch anything on E? We never had E! in our cable service but I like tuning into that channel whenever we stay at hotels because I get to watch KUWTK, hehe.

Are you going to get off the computer now that you've finished this? Most likely.

[rowanandphoenixfeather]

i’m getting pretty fucking sick of people ragging on teachers and i know many of you are NOT among these annoying masses, but i just need to make a rant so hold on to your butts.

i think a lot of people don’t understand how much extra time teachers put in on a regular basis. i’m a salary employee which means i’m paid to be at my school for a certain number of hours a day, for a certain number of days. but i don’t punch a clock. because otherwise (even if we weren’t paid for our extra time) people would start to realize just how many more hours we work than what we’re paid to do.

personally, i work half time, but for the sake of argument (and to make math a little easier) let’s pretend i work full time. if i was full time i would be paid to be at school 180 school days, plus 10 extra days (extra days vary district to district) for professional development during non-student days. these are the days i am paid and almost always (there are very few exceptions) i am ineligible to be paid for ANY extra days. i am allowed 2 paid days off annually that DO NOT roll over.

my paid hours are from 8am until 3:30pm. however i usually show up around 7:30am and stay until 4:30pm. that’s my regular schedule. this doesn’t count days i work WAAAAY more and stay at school until long after the sun sets.... which has happened MANY times. again, for the sake of argument, let’s say most days i’m at work 9 hours, but only paid for 7 and a half. that’s an hour an a half extra that i work unpaid every day. 90 minutes per day x 180 days = 16,200 minutes. that’s 270 hours. that’s 11.25 weekdays of unpaid work that i do regularly. without thinking about it EVERY YEAR.

i’m currently 30 years old. if i keep that schedule and continue teaching until i retire at 70, that’s 450 days of unpaid work i’ve done in my career. 365 days in one calendar year which means by the time i retire i will have worked just over a full year of my life for free.

and that’s without ANY additional unpaid time that i put in. don’t forget to add the days of the ice cream social (2 hours every year), the after school carnivals (2 hours every year), the student sports games, recitals, and performances i attend (3-15 hours every year), the evening book fairs i run (6 hours every year), open house night (3 hours every year), all the extra days i spend getting my classroom and curriculum ready in august (20-80 hours every year), all the weekends and holidays i go into the building to get things done (10-20 hours every year), the days i stay at work until 8pm because i just needed to get it done (literally i can’t even estimate this one). those extras alone add up to 45-128 hours (but you know it’s definitely more) every year. add the lower end of that number to my career total and let’s see what happens:

270 regular hours per year + 46 extra hours per year = 316 unpaid hours worked every year 316 hours / 24 hours in a day = 13.166 unpaid days worked every year 13.166 x 40 more years of teaching = 526.66 unpaid days worked in my career 526.66 days / 365 days in a year = 1.44 YEARS OF UNPAID LABOR

and that’s the low end of my estimate. if i pick the higher numbers from my (already conservative) estimates listed above, it comes out to 1.8 years of work i do for free.

pay teachers more. thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[denicdlife-a]

things a new rp partner should know about me !

fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests.

[ONE]: I WORK A FULL-TIME JOB AT MCDONALDS. At the moment I work 11am-5pm due to reduced opening hours and having to rely on buses. Normally I work 8:30am-4:30pm but tend to stay on most days since ya know. Waiting for buses. Because of this my weekdays I’m rarely on due to the time I get home and sort things out it’s usually approaching 9pm. Right now it’s closer to 7pm since earlier bus and that. Even then I’m pretty tired as my work is exhausting so I tend to be more active at the weekends because of that. 

[TWO]: I’M SELF TAUGHT IN GRAPHIC EDITING. All my graphics, I make myself. I started with basics when I started RPing 8 years ago. But I only started taking it seriously about 4 years ago when I joined the Undertale RPC. I’m extremely proud of every graphic I make as I tend to spend a lot of time making them. This tends to span between 2-10 hours usually depending on what I’m making and if I need to find resources. I put so much effort in each graphic I make and I’m always trying to push myself to try new and learn new things when possible. My family don’t know this skill of mine though. I’d like to have the courage to show them one day.

[THREE]: I COLLECT A LOT OF THINGS. I collect Nintendo Amiibos, Pop Vinyls, Enamel Pins, Charms, Misc Figurines from things I like, Pokemon Plushies, Tsum Tsums and League of Legend stuff. A bunch of my stuff is still at a friends house from Uni. Like a few of my anime figurines and a good like 15 Pop Vinyls. I plan to get them sent over eventually. If you’re ever interested in seeing said collections then do feel free to ask me. I rather like my collections and wish to expand them even if involves decorating another pin board for the Enamel Pins and Charm collection.

[FOUR]: I REALLY LIE MAGICAL GIRL/BOY SERIES. I just really like these kinds of shows. Like they where the kind I grew up with to an extent. Tokyo Mew Mew and Winx Club where the first ones and after I was old enough to use a computer properly I started watching other anime series based on magical girls. I own the majority of the Puella Magica manga series and from League of Legends the Star Guardian Series which is a Magical Girl/Boy skin line for the game. I own all the figurines bar one that I missed from a set as I wasn’t able to afford them at the time plus own all the enamel pins so far. I’m aiming to get the plushies based on the familars and a jacket based on the series at some point.

[FIVE]: I AM AN ASEXUAL LESBIAN. And I am proud of this. I’m more vocal about it online on social media where family isn’t concerned and around friends. Majority of my family do know this about me but it doesn’t get talked about really. But they’re supportive at least. I’m just not confident to put up the flags I own as I don’t wish to be harassed by a certain family member who likes to cause me grief over how I decorate my room and my interests. I don’t see them often but I’d just... Rather not deal with them as I know they’ll just question me on why I even have it up in the first place and not see why I would have it up. But I will whenever I have my own place which I will hopefully be able to get soon enough.

[isabelisfun]

Rules: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better.

Thanks for tagging me @thehonorarybeaumont ! i’m not gonna tag anyone cuz i love you all so just do it if u want to!

1. NAME: Isabel

2. NICKNAMES: Bel, Bella

3. ZODIAC SIGN: Leo!

4. HEIGHT: 5’0 (yes i’m incredibly short i know)

5. LANGUAGES: English and I am currently learning Spanish

6. NATIONALITY: American (my race is 75% percent white and 25% Colombian)

7. FAVORITE SEASON: Fall

8. FAVORITE SCENT: chocolate chip cookies and vanilla

9. FAVORITE SONG: there’s too many to choose from, but basically I just like anything by Doja Cat or Taylor Swift.

10. FAVORITE COLOR: pink 💕

11. FAVORITE ANIMAL: cats and giraffes

12. FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER: Eleven from Stranger Things, Hermione from Harry Potter, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Oh and Angel Dumott Schunard, of course.

13. COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hot chocolate, because I’m basically a baby in every situation. I prefer coffee to tea, but if offered hot chocolate, I will definitely choose hot chocolate.

1. AVERAGE SLEEP HOURS: Depends on the day. On weekends it’s like 9 and on weekdays it’s about 6 or 7.

15. DOG OR CAT PERSON: CAT PERSON. Dogs are tolerable at times, but cats are just superior in every way. I have 2 cats of my own and I love them very much.

16. NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH: 2 comforters but no sheet, because my sheets always used to get tangled, but i’m cold.

17. DREAM TRIP: Idk, travel isn’t really a big interest of mine. I’ve always wanted to go to the UK though. I also love it in LA, which isn’t really like a big “scenic travel destination”, but I always love going to LA.

18. BLOG ESTABLISHED: April of 2019 (I know i’m so new lol)

19. FOLLOWING/FOLLOWERS: 506/779

20. RANDOM FACT: I dont know what to put so i’m just gonna copy @thehonorarybeaumont and say my Hogwarts house, which would in fact be Gryffindor.

[theloveofscience]

Shugarl to Komui White Day Gift!

((Here we are! This should be the last of the White day gifts that I need to submit to you. I hope you enjoy it! As always, do with this as you please~))

————————————————————————————-

Shugarl had sent Komui and invitation for March 14th to attend a late-night picnic with him in order to watch the Gamma Normids meteor shower. It was quite convenient that the Gamma Normids shower always hit around this time and peaked on the 15th. The shower wasn’t very bright, but if you paid close attention, and if the surrounding area wasn’t too bright, you should be able to see the meteor shower.

There was a family getaway cottage that should suffice for the viewing. Shugarl sent out the invite rather early, almost a month in advance. Given the date Komui was being invited on, it was clear that this was related to White day.

The location was at the family getaway cottage, so Komui and Shugarl could stay overnight, if they wanted to. If not, Komui could always return home afterwards if he had plans to attend to that following Sunday.

Komui accepted the invitation and with that, Shugarl could commence his planning. He may have already revealed one part of the plan, but a bit of sacrifice was necessary for the greater good.

After the sent invitation, nothing else out of the ordinary occurred, as if everything was ‘business as usual.’ Shugarl and Komui would interact with each other as they normally would, nothing veering from normalcy.

That is, until the 1st of March hit. There were 14 days until the day they were going to meet to watch the Gamma Normids, and Shugarl had planned a few things. A letter that was  personally delivered sat in Komui’s mailbox that Saturday morning.

.

..

.

I cordially invite you to humor me with my version of an advent calendar.

As we count down the days until White Day, I will be sending you riddles and questions for you to answer.

You will get a point for every question you get right, and as you collect points, you will reach different tiers, which qualifies you in receiving a prize befitting that tier.

The questions and riddles will be mailed to you over the weekends, or it will be given to you in your office during the weekdays. Answers should be emailed to me.

Should you choose to humor me, your first riddle is written on the back of this letter.

Have fun.

.

..

.

All the riddles and questions weren’t hard. The riddles were silly, and the problems were things Shugarl knew Komui could solve. Whether they were chemical reaction problems, or mathematical equations, they were something Komui could handle.

On the weekdays, there would be a geode agate waiting for him on his desk. It looked like a regular rock at first, but when you lifted the top, it would reveal a hollow inside. There would be a note nestled in between the shiny agate crystals.

Assuming Komui had decided to humor Shugarl on this silly ‘advent calendar,’ Komui reached the first tier after 5 days. The gift he received was a small box of biscotti, which would go excellent with coffee. 

The next tier occurred after 10 days, and a pink box sat on Komui’s chair. This was a return gift from Jupiter for the gift that Komui made for her a month prior. Leave it to Shugarl to make her return gift a prize for joining the advent calendar game.

Inside the pink box were white and red speckled bath bombs:

.

..

.

[I like bathbombs because they’re relaxing.

I wanted to thank you for the cute dress you made me!

Please enjoy the bathbombs, they’re lavender scented to promote relaxation.

There are dried rose petals included in the bath bomb to make it feel fancy.]

Included in the letter was a picture of Jupiter wearing the dress Komui made for her. She understood how tiring the job of a professor was (because she had Shugarl to attest to that), and she thought that a relaxing bath would be able to melt the stress away.

It was a bit gimmicky, but she thought people loved bath bombs. A lot of people in her class loved them, in fact.

.

..

.

On Friday the 13th, Komui found a note on his desk after he returned from teaching a class. He’d sent off an email response to Shugarl an hour prior with an answer to a riddle.

The note revealed that the final and last question would be delivered in person. Also, the geode agate ‘box’ was now Komui’s to keep.

Shugarl had evidently been enjoying this little game of theirs, considering Shugarl would make mention of it every time they met, followed by a mischievous smirk. All the riddles and questions weren’t very difficult given Komui’s abilities, so it was sure that Shugarl was not taunting Komui by any means.

It was like when you execute a harmless prank against a friend and you both can laugh about it later.

That’s what level this was to him, a playful gesture.

-

[[The next day]]

-

Shugarl arrived at the family getaway cottage early in the day to prepare for the viewing/picnic. He had it set so they could eat and view the show from the porch. Blankets were prepared should either of them feel chilly during the viewing.

For the food, he prepared a number of things:

He prepared a creamy chicken and Gnocchi soup, with a French country Boule bread to dip the soup with. This would be warm and hearty. A side Thai Mango salad with Peanut dressing, was bright and flavorful. For the entrée, Shugarl chose a Smoked Salmon pasta.

As for a dessert, he prepared personal sized blueberry pies, where the crust was fashioned into a Fibonacci spiral. What else could one expect from a math nerd? Of course, he would decorate his pies with anything mathematical.

He chose pies, because he assumed Komui enjoyed them. He made a pi (pie) pun last month, and that left a lasting impression on Shugarl. As such, he chose to bake personal sized pies for dessert.

As for beverages, there were many to choose from. Komui could have his go-to drink, coffee, or he could choose from anything else such as water, wine, juice, etc.

When Komui arrived, the food was prepared fresh and warm, using the kitchen in the cottage. There was plenty of food to last them a while, so they could enjoy their food at a leisurely pace, waiting for the sun to set, and the meteor shower show to commence.

The family getaway cottage was isolated in the thick forest of trees, so there weren’t any lights that would drown out the light of the meteor shower. Shugarl found the show to be rather enjoyable, and having great company to share the sights with was all the more pleasing.

The night was passing by peacefully, and Shugarl excused himself for a moment to fetch something. He returned with a ‘Storm Glass’ and a notebook.

This sealed glass bulb contains chemicals that crystalize in response to atmospheric conditions. Of course, this could not replace the weather forecasting system, but it was a fun exercise. Keeping track of the storm glass’s responses to the weather and making predictions of the weather would be fun, wouldn’t it? Shugarl thought it would be fun, anyways.

“There is no right or wrong answer to the final question, so I’m gifting you the final prize in advance. I found you could make a storm glass yourself, so I did just that. I hope that you will find this storm glass amusing to play with.”

It seemed to be something a Science nerd would enjoy.

Over the month after Valentine’s day, Shugarl had put a lot of thought into his planning, and he’d also put much consideration to himself. This is not something he’d done in a long while, and so it was awkward at first, but Shugarl adjusted himself accordingly.

After much consideration, Shugarl had come to a conclusion he could agree with.

“I’ve put a lot of thought into it, and I’ve come to think of you as someone very important in my life. I don’t think I’ve truly had a person who could truly understand me and share my interests with. I feel comfortable around you, and I can put my trust in you. Even when I’m having one of my episodes, you didn’t chastise me, or avoid me out of sheer discomfort. You took the time to comfort me and attempt to heal the old scars I have in the barren wasteland that people call a heart.” He felt uncomfortable with how honest he was being at the moment, but he did resolve himself to do this, so he shall.

“I had thought that’s all it was at first. I’m not well in tune with my emotions as I’m sure you’d understand. I could not understand until recently, when I dug deep and contemplated on who I am as a person. I’ve deduced a conclusion from various instances throughout our friendship, and that is… I believe the feelings I feel towards you transcend that of mere friendship. I daresay I harbor romantic feelings towards you. What do you think about that?”

That’s it, that’s the question.  

What say you now, Komui?

_______________________________________________________________

Upon the conclusion of Valentine’s Day, to say he hadn’t been curious about what Shugarl was planning for White Day would have been a lie. It wasn’t that he regretted going all out for Valentine’s Day, far from it, and Shugarl had seemed pleased with his gifts only… he wondered if he should feel intimidated at the unknown possibilities. This was Shugarl after all and Komui was well acquainted with his habit of repaying anything tenfold, they had been friends too long for him not to have noticed this characteristic.

When the scientist thought back to their Valentine’s dinner, he couldn’t help but recall that although things were as casual and comfortable as it usually was between them, there had been occasional moments when the atmosphere seemed almost charged and Shugarl more pensive than usual. But surely he had simply been imaging things, either that or his fellow professor was already scheming his comeback for White Day…

In the end, Komui decided he probably felt more excited than intimidated to see what the other came up with this year.

The invitation to watch a meteor shower while enjoying a late night picnic wasn’t something he expected but it certainly was a pleasant surprise. His first thought had been to ask whether he should contribute to the food and beverages they would be consuming but having considered that this was probably part of his White Day gift decided not to. Nevertheless, he was looking forward to it and did not hesitate enthusiastically accepting the invitation.

When the 1st of March rolled around, Komui couldn’t help but laugh. In light of the puzzles he’d had Shugarl solve on Valentine’s day he really should have seen this coming. He had no complaints. The riddles were all things he could answer quite easily and he got gifts for answering correctly to boot. It felt a little like he was being spoiled but it was a nice change from the teasing he often had to endure.

It ended up becoming an inside joke of sorts, something private just between them but then, come to think of it, wasn’t that how it was with a lot of things? Ever since Shugarl had become a professor he’d not really bothered to try get along with anyone else more than he had to. It was always Shugarl he complained to about a hard day or ridiculous test papers, Shugarl that he dragged along to interesting lectures or symposiums, Shugarl that he ate lunch and drank coffee with, Shugarl that he laughed with and was teased by. It was perhaps a little scary to suddenly realise that apart from Lenalee, Shugarl was the one his world revolved around.

When exactly had that happened?

The days passed by and the  14th of March drew steadily closer. He enjoyed the biscotti he received and was touched by the gift from Jupiter. Komui had never used a bath bomb before but since Jupiter had gone out of her way to give it to him, he would give it a try so he could thank her properly. It was also a treat to see how adorable she looked in the dress he made for her. She was almost as precious as Lenalee… almost.

On the day question, Komui arrived at the cottage to see a wonderful spread of food prepared for their picnic which smelled absolutely mouth-watering. He couldn’t help but want to tease the other professor a little considering all the food that was set out.

“You’re not trying to fatten me up or anything are you?”

Admittedly, he was slightly on the slender side and occasionally neglected to eat when he got wrapped up in one project or another but he wasn’t quite a walking skeleton just yet. Jokes aside, he really appreciated all the effort that had gone into the preparation of the meal and he was looking forward to tasting it.

It was an enjoyable evening all round, the cottage being an ideal spot to view the meteor shower and the company made it all the more pleasant. After a time, Shugarl excused himself only to return with a storm glass which Komui eyed with interested fascination.

The scientist was very impressed that Shugarl had made the storm glass himself and also very excited at having received such an interesting device. He laughed warmly as he accepted the contraption, admiring it with sparkling eyes.

“Haha you know me well it seems~”

For a moment he was puzzled over the prospect of a final question until he recalled the note he had received the day before informing him of this very fact. A question that didn’t have a right or wrong answer… now he was truly curious.

…

For a moment in time his heart stopped.

Had he heard that correctly? Had he somehow dozed off while watching the meteor shower only to dream this? But no, this was real wasn’t it.

…I habour romantic feelings towards you…

…romantic feelings towards you…

…romantic feelings…

The words echoed in his mind on repeat and he could feel his face flushing bright red even as his eyes stung and a ridiculous grin started forming on his face without his permission. He probably looked like a maniac right now. Luckily for him, Shugarl had sat down in his vicinity to give him the storm glass so he could conveniently hide his face in the nape of his neck.

He felt far too embarrassed for his expression to be seen right now even if it was dark, although nothing could be done about his trembling limbs. It was unexpectedly nerve wracking to be confessed to for the first time.

It was incredible to know how his companion felt about him, the situation feeling almost surreal when he considered that time not too long ago when he thought he might have ruined their friendship.

Swallowing passed the lump in his throat, he breathed out a shaky sigh before quietly murmuring a response of sorts.

“I I think I’m in shock…”

Perhaps that was a bit of an understatement.

“… honoured… and happy… very, very happy.”

He was, exuberantly so, but that wasn’t exactly the answer he was supposed to be giving was it. There was also a small part that wondered whether he should be questioning Shugarl’s tastes but that was quickly squashed. More importantly, he needed to give him a better answer than that.

What did he think about it. There was only one answer really. 

Apart from Lenalee, the person his world revolved around was Shugarl.

“In that case… it’s okay if I feel the same… right?

[themeofbalqis]

8 Things I Wished I Knew Before PT3 (2019)

Whew, 2019′s almost over. This was one wild ride of a year for me, as I sat for my first standardized exam in high school. I was also the first batch to sit for the new format of PT3.

This year taught me a lot, especially about being a better student. If only I could go back in time and told myself the things I’ll be saying now – I wonder if anything would’ve changed...

Oh well. The past is in the past, and there’s nothing I can do about that. What I can do, however, is to share what I wish I knew before I took PT3. Whether you’re a senior who’s just curious, or a junior anxious about taking PT3, I hope that this can bring some sort of benefit to you.

1. Keep a positive mindset.

It was easy for me to blame the Ministry of Education for not updating us on this format early on. It was easy to whine about how it was unfair that everything was uncertain, and how even teachers didn’t really know what to do.

Complaining is easy, but it won’t get you straight As.

Instead of blaming your failures/anxieties on others, divert that energy into positivity for yourself. Start planning out how you’re going to study, how you’re going to achieve your goals. You’re gonna have to suck it up and buckle up to get work done if you really want great results.

2. Be on top of organisation.

I had a pretty good organization system already, but I felt like this was important to highlight for future PT3 takers.

Having a good organisation system is essential for students. Our brains are already messy enough, so having a system that organises your physical schoolwork is extremely helpful. I daresay that my organisation saved me throughout the year.

I had a folder with 8 sections – one for homework that was due, one for homework that was done, one for my mental logic subjects (math, science, asas sains komputer), one for my earth logic subjects (pendidikan Islam, geografi, sejarah), one for languages (bahasa melayu and English), one for random letters related to school and one for stuff related to extracurricular activities.

Organisation is also extremely important for when you begin your kerja khusus/coursework in the middle of the school year. If you can, store your files related to kerja khusus both online and offline so it can be convenient for you, especially for asas sains komputer students. This way, you can work on your coursework even after school.

I’ll make a post about my coursework experience and tips later on.

3. Cover all the Form 1 and Form 2 topics early on.

And by cover I mean, have a solid foundation and understanding on those topics. Yes, not every topic will come out in the paper, but it’s important to be well-prepared, no matter what.

To do this, list out all the chapters in every subject for Form 1 and Form 2. Plan out a study schedule which will lead to you covering all the chapters before your midterms – within, say, five months.

For example, Sains Form 2 has 13 chapters. If you revise one chapter every Saturday starting from January, then you would be able to finish it by the end of March.

4. If you want to move to MRSM or SBP, focus on Mathematics and Science.

Yes, MRSM and SBP usually look for all-rounders, but they will be especially attracted to your application if you maintain an A in both Math and Science. That being said, don’t ignore Sejarah and Geografi just to focus on Math and Science.

5. Midterms is the deadline.

Trials aren’t considered proper exams anymore, but I think many schools still set a trials date to prepare their students for the coming exam. If you’re applying for MRSM or SBP, they’ll most likely ask for your midterm results instead of your trials result.

So you shouldn’t be playing around during your midterms like I did, and focus to do well. You can (and really should) take a breather for a week or so after your midterms.

6. Don’t fall for those expensive seminars.

I went to one that promised notes and support until PT3, but it didn’t really help lol.

Instead of shelling out RM100+ for those seminars, find a private tutor for the subjects that you’re having a hard time in/really want to get an A in. Going for tuition classes that has a small class size is also okay. Or you can badger your teacher for free. Find what works for you.

7. Make use of spaced repetition, the Feynman Technique and the forgetting curve

Whoa! What are all these weird terms? Worry not, my friend, for once you learn about the functionality of these terms, they will be extremely useful to you. I call them The Essential Triangle of Efficient Studying.

• Spaced repetition: allowing yourself to forget information for a while, then retrieving it so that you strengthen your knowledge of that information.

I would recommend Ali Abdaal’s video on spaced repetition, which you can watch here. Make sure to watch the first part too, and check out the rest of his channel.

• The Feynman Technique: if you truly understand something, you must be able to teach it to a 6 year old. Basically, teach yourself what you’ve learned in simple terms.

Here is another video on how to use the Feynman Technique. If you’re too lazy to speak to yourself like me, you can do this method of the Feynman Technique.

Read about what you want to revise. Now, close the book/put away your notes.

Take a sheet of paper. Write down what about you’re revising, as if you were teaching to someone else.

If you forget something, refer to the book/notes to remember it. But DON’T copy it word for word. Close it and put it away, then continue to write what you forgot about.

Repeat step 1 through step 3 again and again until you are able to write notes on the chapter without having to refer to anything.

• The forgetting curve: how long it takes for us to forget information.

Here is a graph of the forgetting curve.

Basically, you’ll forget 50% of what you learned within a day. To increase your retention, you have to intercept the forgetting curve. After you’ve learned something, try recalling about it before you go to sleep. Then, review it the next day. Afterwards, review it in three days. Review again seven days after the last review, and again 10 days after the last review.

The more time you spend intercepting the forgetting curve, the more you retain what you’ve learned.

The best way to use all three of these is by using traditional flashcards, or by using a Spaced Repetition System like Quizlet or Anki. Another fun way is to constantly quiz yourself with your friends – usually, my friend would be asking questions from the textbook, and the rest of us would fight to answer and get points. The loser with the lowest points usually had to belanja chicken nuggets.

8. Get your priorities and self-discipline straight.

If you want to get excellent results, you better start acting like a top student.

Spend less time with friends who aren’t academically inclined. Make a simple study schedule and stick to it. Hold off entertainment until you’ve finished studying.

Don’t overwork yourself, do a maximum 5 hours of revision on a weekday, 6 hours of revision on a weekend. Appoint a day in the week where you do the bare minimum in studying or don’t study at all, just for lazing about, working on hobbies, spending time with friends and loved ones.

Take enough breaks so you won’t burn out and get stressed. Life doesn’t end after PT3. Don’t dwell on mistakes, you have to keep learning from them and moving forward in this world.

That’s the reality of the world. And to think that we’re only 15.

Thank you for reading until the very end! I’ve been very blessed this year to learn a lot, not only inside the classroom, but about myself and life in general. PT3 was only a small portion of this year for me – but this post doesn’t really talk about that.

That being said, I’m grateful for everything that has happened this year. I’m grateful for my results, grateful for the people that have supported me, for the people who doubted me, too. Everything has taught me so much, and I want to cherish these memories and lessons until the very end.

If you’re taking PT3 soon, good luck! I wish you all the best. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send me a message in my inbox. I’m always happy to help, as long as you’re willing to learn.