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kira-fluff · 3 years ago

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Hi bestie! I was wondering if I could make a request for telling kuroo you used to have a crush on him in high school (you also still do bc who wouldn’t love this man honestly) and maybe he admits his feelings for you?? He’s such a dork I love him so much

a/n: lovely anon i adore this request! thank you for sending it in!! it’s so nice to have some more free time lately, hopefully i can answer more requests!

burning up inside

telling kuroo you “used to” have a crush on him

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x fem!reader; [tw: mutual pining and slowburn] NOT ANGST but lemme be honest the chem situation may or may not be from personal experience lol ,,, can you tell kuroo is my favorite character?

telling tetsu this, years later, would break him.

you’d been friends since high school, the kind that everyone sort of suspected of being a secret couple, but no one dared say a word lest it all become awkward.

you’d met kuroo in your chemistry class and god did you need all the help you could get — balancing equations was satisfying, easy even. but unfortunately that wasn’t all the chemistry was. you wouldn’t count yourself as someone who is a fan of micro sciences, preferring organ systems to atoms. so when you received your latest test back and scored a D, you blanched. there was no way you were going to pass this class. the teacher wasn’t very helpful, assigning worksheets that were so easy to google and find the answers for that a four-year old could achieve it. you didn’t like cheating, but with mounds of other other homework it seemed like the only option when you were nearing 2am. in all honesty, you’d tried to do the honest work, burning your eyes out from rereading the same sentences from your chem textbook, trying to make yourself understand how to make sense of it all. it seemed like whoever made the textbook decided they were going to explain everything in a way that will deliberately make every student question their intelligence and insanity. you felt guilty, getting the worksheets back with “100% ‘fantastic job!’” on the top, but if it meant you’d pass the class, you figured you could teach yourself all the material before the quizzes and tests anyways.

upon getting that D back, however you realized maybe it was time to ask for help. not from the teacher because, well, that would be 1) proving you 100% did not understand any of the content you so effortlessly completed on the worksheet and 2) if he were actually good at explaining the content you wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.

you frowned at your lab partner. he bit back a grin of pride with his hand over his mouth as he eyed his “A+ ‘excellent use of Avogadro’s #!’” seriously, was that even real japanese? it kind of pissed you off, this guy seemed to be good at everything. you had all your highlighters and pens at the ready, vigorously taking notes during each class only for you to still barely pass despite reviewing all your sheets of information. he seemed to at least be paying attention, which was good because that would REALLY do you in if he got As and he wasn’t even listening… but all he did was occasionally scribble down a formula with his dull pencil or perhaps work through a scientific process during class and BOOM! you peaked over at his notes at one point and couldn’t make sense of any of them. kuroo tetsuro. chemistry genius? no, probably genius in all subject areas. and then there was you. you weren’t dumb per-say, in fact, you were known as an overachiever with the intellectual skills to back it up. but let’s just say there are some subjects that, no matter how hard you worked at, no matter how many notes you took, you couldn’t quite wrap your head around the concepts. you tried to reassure yourself, there were some classes people excelled in and others they don’t - you don’t have to be good at everything.

but why was he!?

after going circles in your mind like that for the entire lecture following (which was thankfully gothic architecture, a subject you already knew a lot about), you’d made up your mind to talk to him.

you (1:34pm): hey, kuroo, right? this is y/n. i sit next to you in chem (it’s ok if u can’t remember) anyway, i was wondering, can i ask u a huge favor?

you turned your phone over, not expecting a quick reply when you heard a chime.

kuroo tetsuro (1:35pm): hey y/n! of course i remember you :) sure, ask away!

your heart warmed - what a sweetheart.

you (1:35pm): thank you so so much!!!!

you (1:36pm): so, basically, i was wondering if you could possibly, maybe, perhaps help me with chemistry? tbh i’m kinda struggling to get the concepts down haha

you (1:38pm): if you are busy tho i totally understand!! and like if there’s a subject you need help with i’ll do my best to assist!!!! :)))

kuroo tetsuro (1:39pm): absolutely!! no worries. i am the captain of the volleyball club so maybe a weekend would work if that’s okay with you?

kuroo tetsuro (1:39pm): is there a specific part that you need help understanding or all of it?

you (1:40pm): ;;;;

you (1:41pm): all of it….

kuroo tetsuro (1:42pm): hey, no shame! the first step in getting better is admitting you need help, right?

how is it possible for anyone to be this nice? is an angel among us?!

you (1:43pm): thank you so so much you’re a life saver seriously! i’ll bring you coffee or tea or something!! does sunday at 5pm sound good?

kuroo tetsuro (1:44pm): of course :) anytime!

kuroo tetsuro (1:44pm): no need, thanks tho :) that sounds great to me.

little did you know that behind this screen sat a slightly flushed and extremely ecstatic kuroo tetsuro - grateful at the perfect chance to finally talk to you.

sure, he had talked to you before - even had a few deep conversations. yet, you weren’t really quite able to escape the topic of small-talk. still, he was thrilled!

and so began weekend study nights. you’d felt comfortable enough with him already to invite him over to your apartment you’d rented out in order to study in a quiet place where you wouldn’t be disrupted. it was always a gamble in public places (even cafes and libraries) that there was a chance there’d be some large group that didn’t respect other’s right to privacy and shouted in the quiet places.

you sighed, rushing around your apartment nonetheless, attempting some last-minute touch ups. there was a knock at the door as you finished shoving some of your snacks into your small cabinet.

“kuroo! hi!” you gasped, as if you hadn’t frantically ran to your front door, jumping at the sound in a panic.

the air was just nearly knocked out of him. what a sight you were to behold. tucking a stray hair behind your ear, your eyes glimmered, shining brightly in contrast to the rather dreary day. he prayed you didn’t notice him eyeing you up and down, unable to help the soft sweep of his eyes across your gorgeous figure.

damn, the uniforms did not do your body justice, not one bit—what the fuck? kuroo, come on!

the last thing he needed was thoughts like that taking over his mind just as he’s trying to teach you fucking chemistry. you allowed him in, sitting yourself at your coffee table, patting the table next to you in invitation. damn, you were so cute. he bowed, taking off his shoes as he sat at the table with you.

“so, first chapter, then?”

you couldn’t hold back your light chuckle, a slight flush covering your cheeks in embarrassment. still, a little half-smile adorned his face as he flipped to the beginning pages of the book.

it went on like that for weeks and soon you found that there weren’t really any gaps in your conversation, no awkward pauses or strange moments. even after you were passing chemistry with flying colors, you and kuroo continued to make weekends you thing. that must’ve been the reason why it was so easy for you to fall for him — not that he made it especially difficult. in fact, falling for him felt about as involuntary as breathing. he was so considerate and hilarious, yet he thoroughly enjoyed any deep conversation you threw his way. he’d ponder your questions and take time to think about them, and if you disagreed he was always the first to find common ground. kuroo was sweet — that’s all there was to it. he had so many ways of showing you how much he cared about you. when you’d had your first fight, you heard a loud wrap on your door at 2am, finding a tearful kuroo apologizing as you immediately enveloped him in a hug, apologizing just as much as he did. you’d find little notes he’d written in your shoe locker, things like “good luck!” as if he mirrored your letters you’d sneak into his shoe locker before big exams or games. he talked about you so much, to the point that it was a running joke within the volleyball club that kuroo couldn’t go a single conversation without bringing you up. falling for you wasn’t easy for him because he wasn’t even aware that he had by the time he noticed. it wasn’t until he felt a moment in time that was completely frozen - nekoma had just won against one of their biggest rivals: nohebi. the very first person kuroo turned to, face elated as equally as it was sweaty — was you. all of a sudden, his face fell, his eyes growing wide. your face fell with his, thinking perhaps he’d hurt himself. you frantically ran over to him, embracing him and asking him if he was alright. his adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he peered down at you. he hoped his eyes told you what he was thinking - and yes, you saw he was desperately, feverishly trying to tell you something… but you couldn’t quite place what it was. but oh, those golden eyes. they shimmered like gold, smoldering like fire.

i want you, his eyes were trying to tell you, i want you so bad i’m burning up inside.

—

your hands carded through his hair, a soft hum vibrating through your chest.

you weren’t sure what in you led you to say it. maybe it was exhaustion, or perhaps hurt. maybe it was resignation - that it was time to move on.

“you know, tetsu,” you began, eliciting a rumbling hum from him in response below you, “i used to have a crush on you in high school.” you accompanied this confession with a laugh, but it came out as shrill and nervous - you cringed. you felt kuroo stiffen below you. he was silent for a moment, as if choosing his next words with great care.

“…in high school?”

your hands paused their ministrations for a moment. replacing your frown with a fresh smile, you pressed forward, “yep. the good ol’ days, right tetsu?”

you cursed inwardly as he sat up, those golden eyes piercing into your eyes. he’d sometimes do that - he’d try to tell you something with his eyes, but you could never decipher the message, yet too cowardly to ask.

“in high school.” he repeated. he wanted nothing more than to scream.

you scoffed sarcastically, “uh, yeah, weren’t you listening?”

his eyes searched your own, as if looking for an answer in your own - or maybe a question. you steeled yourself, lest his perceptive eyes uncover your true feelings.

“well, that kind of sucks then.” he finally said after sighing.

your eyebrows furrowed in a hurt expression, “hey, i know it was kind of cringe and you obviously didn’t feel the same way but you don’t have to be rude about it.” you huffed.

his eyebrows rose in shock, “is that what you think this is?”

you were beginning to grow angry - this was the most common reason for your fights - kuroo wanted you to read his mind, thinking his intentions extremely obvious. (they were to everyone except you.) you recalled the time you’d went out with a guy named matsukawa and you swore you remember kuroo glared at him for the whole week you went out.

you let out a sharp breath, “then what is ‘this’ kuroo?”

he winced at your use of his surname but continued on, “so you’re saying that you don’t like me now?”

you sputtered. “like” wouldn’t begin to describe it all. you long since had resigned yourself to the fact that you’re completely and utterly in love with him. you folded your arms, attempting to counter, “that’s not the point, you were being—“

“do you like me right now?” kuroo pressed, rising to his feet and inching toward you, a look of both desperation and pleading on his face.

you looked away, muttering something under your breath. he gently held your chin between his thumb and index finger, angling your face back to his. his face was incredibly close now. his breath fanned your lips as he whispered a soft, “please.”

you allowed yourself a shy nod. that was all it took for him to kiss you like it was the last kiss you’d ever had. his face was that of pure desire, desperation, and needing. if you’d only been aware of how badly he’d needed this, how badly he wanted this - for so, so long. he’d do anything for you. his kiss seared you, leaving you gasping for air and pushing at his shoulders to give him the hint that you do in fact need to breathe. he was a gentlemen, pulling back long enough to gaze lovingly at you, pulling his thumb across your plump lip, before he dove back in and kissed you just as long and hard. this process repeated for what felt like hours - sublime, magnificent hours.

at last catching your breath, he let out breathy, “i…love you…so, so much…”

you were everything to him, and you finally knew it.

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kywaslost · 3 years ago

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Newt Scamander x Sister Reader Comfort for School Stress

A/N: So this is something short I just whipped up because I just checked my grades and immediately started crying. I'm giving up in my classes, my teachers are just piling on the workload. I've been failing a lot of tests and quizzes and finals are coming up. I'm taking my AP exam for AP Language and Composition tomorrow and am fully prepared to fail. So yeah, I've not been doing so hot. This was mainly written for me lol.

“Newt, I can’t do this anymore,” you said tiredly, tugging your hair as you sank into your chair. “I just can’t.” You had asked if you could go home for the weekend and stay with your older brother Newt. School was getting really hard, with O.W.L.S. coming up, along with finals and exams in every class. Your mental health was starting to suffer, and your teachers noticed. They allowed you to go home in order to focus and hopefully perk up a bit.

Except now you were sitting at Newt’s kitchen table, about to lose your calm and break down crying. Silent tears brimmed your eyes as you groaned in frustration. “I don’t know how you ever got through this.”

“I didn’t,” Newt reminded you. He was in the kitchen across from you, stirring a pot of noodles in an attempt to make dinner. “I was expelled, remember?” He turned from the stove to shoot you a sympathetic look. He placed his spoon off to the side and went to stand beside you. “I believe in you, though. I know you’ll try your best, and that’s all that matters.”

“I’ve given up,” you said, starting to cry now. “Every day my classes get harder and harder. I can’t keep up with it. I haven’t had a great night’s sleep for well over a week. I can’t do it anymore Newt. I just can’t.” You buried your face into your hands, sobbing. Newt rubbed your back and pulled you into a side hug.

“I know,” he said softly. “But you are one of the most brilliant people I know and I believe you’ll do amazing. And even if you don’t, there’s still so much for you to do. Look at me, I’d say I’m pretty successful and I was expelled from Hogwarts.”

“But you’re naturally smart,” you sobbed. “And Theseus. Ugh, how am I even related to the two of you. You’re both so smart and successful and know what you’re doing and I’m just a failure. Look at me, I’m breaking down over my stupid classes. I bet you and Theseus never broke down like this.”

“Hey,” Newt said sternly, kneeling down beside you. “Hey, look at me. Please?” You turned to your brother.

“What?” Newt reached up to wipe away some of your tears.

“Stop that. Stop, I don’t like it,” Newt said quietly. “Y/N. You’re my sister. I know you like I know the back of my hand.” He rested his hand on your cheek. “I know you’re struggling right now. I know how hard school is for you. But do you know why it’s hard? Because you’re too smart to be in the easy classes. Why do something if it’s easy? Being challenge is how you learn.”

Newt’s hand left your face and straightened the jacket you were wearing. “Now,” he smiled, “I want you to take a break from your work. Go spend some time with my creatures. Dougal’s been missing you lately.”

You smiled as you sniffed. “Ok. Thanks Newt.”

“It’s no worry at all,” he said. “That’s why I’m here. Why I’m your brother.”

#comfort #newt scamander comfort #newt scamander #newt scamander x reader comfort #fantastic beasts the crimes of grindlewald #fantastic beast the secrets of dumbledore #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts #scamander reader #scamander family

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codebread · 3 years ago

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week 1 so far

i have scoured the internet for learning materials and sites that would hopefully help me out on my newly chosen career path. all of them are self-paced, which i ultimately prefer. i know i need a lot of willpower to keep myself motivated through this endeavor in order to complete it without the extra nudge of actual instructors and their deadlines.

the first online course i took was Coursera’s Introduction to Data Analytics offered by IBM. i think it’s a great starting point for me since all the information it gives is concise and easy to comprehend for a beginner like me. i like that there are actual graded quizzes at the end of each lesson, as well as a peer reviewed assignment at the end of the course. it is somewhat only semi self-paced because you have to submit your quiz scores by their set dates. this course is great though because they give out a certificate once you finish the entire data analyst course which would be an additional entry on your resume.

some other sites i have also immersed myself in during the past few days are:

> Codecademy’s Career Path: Data Analyst - very wordy lessons, which i like because i am a visual-tactile learner and i really prefer being able to re-read the stuff i don’t get at first rather than pausing and rewinding a video. i also like the hands-on workspace they provide in the same page so you can test and run some codes along the way

> Khan Academy’s Intro to SQL: Querying and managing - love this! they offer a quick and easy way to learn codes then make and run your own after each lesson. this really got me started in SQL basics

> CareerFoundry’s 5-Part Free Tutorial on Data Analytics for Beginners - this one really lets you dive into what a data analyst actually does, giving hands-on experience on importing a dataset into google sheets, cleaning the data, etc. i’m not planning on taking their full course though since it’s too expensive for me but it’s really great that they got to expose us to the actually “doing” part early on instead of the usual introductions and technical terminologies

ngl, i haven’t had this much fun learning something new since my first year at vet school lol hopefully i can get myself through all of it without half-assing anything :))

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sometimes-men-need-help-too · 2 years ago

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@medicinemane thank you!! :)

@jd-205 yeah, I haven’t done anything since this afternoon. I was working on one class for 5 or 6 hours, just trying to get through two assignments. I got done with one and was working on one question for the second assignment, but I just couldn’t think anymore

I’ve been trying to make myself spread things out instead of trying to do too much in one day. I mean, I technically have time. The quizzes aren’t due until Tuesday by 11.59 PM so I don’t really have to worry about those. It’s just this one exam I’m trying to study for and not be stressed over (I get stressed too easily with school lol).

Hopefully things will be better tomorrow

And thank you!! :)

#thank goodness I have Monday off lol

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sweethq · 4 years ago

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♡ how you became friends with them // headcanon

𑁍 Characters: Oikawa Tōru, Kuroo Tetsurō, Akaashi Keiji, Sugawara Kōshi

»»—Trigger warning(s): none—-««

➶ Genre: hmmm fluff?

-ˏˋ A/N: i’m an absolute hoe for all of them, I just had to put them in the same post ˊˎ-

Click here for part 1!

your nephew’s friends were going to the park to play volleyball and he wouldn’t stop begging you to take him

both of his parents were at work, forcing you to keep an eye on the little booger

all you wanted to do was stay home and watch terrible reality shows

but you decided to be nice and grant him his wish

besides, it would be nice to leave the house every once and awhile lol

when you got to the park you saw your nephew’s friends playing volleyball with a guy who was definitely not their age

“do you know that guy?” you ask the young one standing next to you, hoping that the older boy in the distance wasn’t some creep that was preying on children

“yeah, that’s _____’s uncle. he’s really good at volleyball so he likes to come and show off”

what kind of grown ass man would want to show off his skills to a bunch of 9 year olds lmao

you didn’t question it any further and took a seat on a nearby bench while your nephew ran to his friends

after about two minutes of scrolling through your phone, your nephew returns

“tooru wants you to come play volleyball with us”

“did you tell him that i don’t know anything about volleyball?”

“yup. come on, let’s go”

deadass pulls your phone out of your hand, grabs your arm, and drags you over to the group

he was freakishly strong for his age

“hi! i’m tooru, what’s your name?”

“uh, i’m y/n”

“cool! do you want to play volleyball with us?”

“do i have a choice?”

“nope!”

he quickly goes over the gist of the game and shows you how to position your arms for a receive and how to spike the ball

honestly most of it went through one ear and out the other, but you nodded as if you understood everything he was saying

you finally started the mock match, you and tooru on opposing sides

first play into the game, tooru serves it (at like 30% power from his usual serves) and it’s coming straight for you

instead of taking a step backwards so you can receive it, you just stare at it until it hits you dead in the face hAAA

all of the kids started laughing while tooru stood there in shock

who would’ve known this would be the start to an amazing friendship

we all know, math is FREAKING HARD

and the fact that you had to learn about imaginary numbers irked the hell out of you

they don’t even exist, WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THIS

but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it

your teacher could see you visibly struggling with this lesson, even seeing that you nearly failed one of your quizzes

she pulled you to the side after class one day and told it to you straight

“if you don’t get a B on this next test, you’re going to have to retake this class”

“y-you expect me to get a B?!!!?!?!?!?”

yeah the rest of the day you were depressed lol

how in the world were you supposed to magically understand all of the material within the next week?

that’s where smartboi!kuroo comes along

he approaches you during lunch, taking the empty seat in front of you

you just kinda 👁️👄👁️

“hi so i couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with our math teacher. i can help you if you want. i don’t know if you know this, but i’m kinda good at math”

he gave you one of his infamous smirks, making you scoff

you had never talked to kuroo before, but he had a reputation around school for being arrogant and cold

“please tell me why i would want help from you?”

“because if you don’t get help then you’re probably going to fail this class and have to retake it, and we both know that’s not what you want.”

you hate that he’s right

“ugh fine”

over the course of that week you and kuroo hung out every day after school

and you found out that he’s nothing like what people say he is, he’s just a big nerd

you start to become fond of him, liking how patient he is with you and how much effort he’s putting into your tutoring sessions

by the end of the week, you’re actually able to call him a friend

and you got a B on the test :p

you were not a morning person

you were the type or person that needed to set 50 alarms in the morning just so you’d wake up for school

unfortunately, sometimes 50 alarms still isn’t enough to keep you from falling back asleep

one morning, you closed your eyes after turning off your alarm, knowing that another one will go off in 10 minutes. I’ll get up then, you tell yourself

what you didn’t know is that the alarm you turned off happened to be the last one

you wandered back to sleep and waited for the alarm that never went off

when you woke up, you checked your phone and saw that you were most definitely running late

you quite literally jumped out of bed and threw on your uniform and shoes before grabbing your backpack and running out the door

you didn’t even bother grabbing something to eat or checking the weather, two things you usually did every morning

you sprinted towards the bus stop, hoping that you didn’t just miss it and have to wait for another

but of course, as you’re approaching, you see the bus depart

and, to make matters even better, it was starting to rain

you made your way to the bus stop, standing under the small roof for shelter from the rain, staring at the bus that was slowly getting smaller

you sigh loudly while taking out your phone, finding the bus schedule only to see that the next one won’t be coming for another 20 minutes

school starts in 15, which is around the same time it would take to run there

but at this point, it wasn’t just raining, it was absolutely downpouring. but what choice did you have?

you prepared yourself to ruin into the rain, but before you could leave the shelter of the roof above you, a cold hand grabbed onto your wrist

you turned around to see sugawara, a boy who was in your third period class

he reached into his backpack and pulled out an umbrella before handing it to you

“here, use this. if you run to school in this weather, you might catch a cold”

“no, that’s okay. if i take this, then you might catch a cold. plus, it’s your umbrella, you should use it”

he laughed before grabbing your hand and placing the umbrella in it

before you could protest, he pulled his hood over his head and ran into the rain

you were dumbfounded, but decided not to waste any more time and make your way to school

you returned his umbrella to him when you saw him in class, and bought him lunch as a thank you

found out that you guys live in the same direction, and decided to walk to and from school together

now you don’t need 50 alarm clocks, knowing that suga will beat ur ass if you’re not ready to leave by the time he gets to your house lol

it was the week before finals, so you were doing the same thing that most students were doing

pulling all nighters at the library and drinking way too much coffee

it was approximately 2:30 in the morning when you were approaching the last class you needed to study for

the problem was, you had left your textbook for that class at home (freaking idiot)

thankfully for you, the library had one in stock that you could borrow for free

you wandered around the building that was surprisingly empty

on most days, every seat would be filled regardless of the time, everyone wanting to cram as much knowledge into their heads before their big exams

you finally found the section you were looking for and started scouting the bookshelves for the textbook you desired

after a solid 10 minutes of grazing through hundreds of books, your eyes finally fall onto the one you’ve been looking for

the only problem was

it was on the top shelf

and you were definitely not tall enough to reach it

but were you going to ask someone to help you get the book like a normal person?

of course not

no, the only logical answer to this problem would to be to climb the bookcase and use the tips of your finger to hopefully bring the book into your grasp

so that’s what you did,,,, kinda

the book was just out of your reach, so you started to swat at it like a cat, hoping the momentum would make your reach a tad longer

and it did!

but instead of you grabbing the book, your arm decided to fling it off the shelf

and right onto the head of a pretty boy who happened to be standing right beneath you

“oh my god are you oka-” *falls off the bookcase*

you were surprisingly able to land on your feet, but you twisted your ankle in the process

“are you okay?” akaashi asked, seeing the pain flash in your eyes

“I should be asking you that, i just dropped my book on your head :(“

akaashi was definitely not planning on spending his friday night in a nurses office with some clumsy person that drops books on people’s heads

and he definitely didn’t appreciate having to be checked for a concussion when he could be using this valuable time for studying

but when he was given the all clear and your ankle was wrapped, you offered him your last onigiri as a peace offering

instantly forgets about the whole incident and becomes a happy puppy

you find out that you guys are studying for the same class so decide to combine your brains and study together

study buddies 4 life!

[taglist] — @avylee

📥 click here to fill out the taglist form

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!!#hq #haikyuu social media #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu writers #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara x reader

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youreobsessedwithciminalminds · 4 years ago

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Oh! Um, Hello (Derek Morgan x Reader) MLM

MASTERLIST

REQUESTED BY @kiss-my-peachy-arse (request here)“😬 I know you just said that it would be the hardest, and now I feel bad lol but my friend really likes morgan, and we usually read together. But as a male who is attracted to males there are not a lot of fics targeted twords that let alone one that isn't spencer "based" I guess hes just more appealing to most 😂 but would you ever think of possibly writing for morgan mlm. our favourite season is actually 5, just maybe something fluffy where they meet the team or something. Also, if not since it would be kind of a challenge that's perfectly okay also! Just thought I would shoot my shot. 😂”

TW: none? i don’t think

Rating: PG

(So no one questions something I did) Spencer (Reid) was supposed to be bisexual and Emily (Prentiss) was supposed to be a lesbian, but CBS were pussies.

Sorry that it took so long to make this, I had a family emergency and didn’t have time until last night/today to write

This was a little harder than normal. but wasn’t as hard as it used to be, I hope you enjoy! (Also hope this is what you wanted)

“Y’know, we could eventually move into a new apartment, a bigger one hopefully, Derek.” Y/N spoke as he buttoned my jeans, “Seriously, just last night you were talking about how you wanted to adopt at least 3 kids. We would need a larger apartment, or even a home for that.”

He heard my boyfriend sigh, “I know, I know, but the team doesn’t know I’m in a relationship, they don’t even know I’m bisexual, well Reid does, but that’s because of that time we dated.” Y/N gave a small smile and Derek laughed a little, “That, that was a weird time. Emily knows to because of the damn bar incident.”

“Hey, we met that night.” Derek nodded as Y/N walked over and wrapped his arms around the more muscular ones waist. They stayed that way for a couple of minuets, until there was a loud knocking at the door of their apartment. Y/N sighed and let go, “It’s probably Mrs. Ross asking if we’ve seen Mr. Cuddles.”

Derek let out a groan, “She looses that cat everyday.” Y/N smiled and quietly agreed.

He walked over to the front door and started speaking before he even looked to see who it was. “I’m sorry Mrs. Ross, me and Derek haven’t seen Mr. Cuddles, but we’ll keep a look out for him.” When he finally looked to see who it was, he surprised to see 6 faces, 2 he recognized as Emily and Spencer, having met them, but the rest he didn’t. Well, he had seen the others faces, from photos Derek had put up around the house and on his phone. “Oh! Um, hello, I’m sorry, thought you were the lady across the hall.” He leaned back and faced in the direction of the bathroom. “Derek! I think you’re team is here!”

They all heard him curse before a crash and then him running down the hall. Knocking down a photo that was hung up, having Y/N sigh when he heard the frame broke. Derek reached the door and let out a tiny ‘crap’ when he saw the team. “Hey! What’re you all doing here?”

Y/N looked back at them and saw Emily and Spencer laughing to each other as everyone else gave Y/N and Derek a quizzical look. “Derek, who’s this?” Garcia quizzed.

“Oh!” Derek looked over at Y/N and then back at the 6 people outside of their apartment, “This is my friend-” He stopped when Y/N stepped on his foot, “I mean, boyfriend, Y/N.”

“Wait! You’re bi?!” Garcia said, obviously she was surprised that she didn’t know that Derek “Chocolate Thunder” Morgan was bisexual..

Derek nodded and Hotch was the next to speak. “Took you long enough to come out.”

“Wait, you knew?” Y/N hook his head in disappointment as Derek questioned.

“You flirted with that deputy back in Dallas a few years back, I also know people.”

“You can come in by the way.” Y/N told them as he realized they were still out in the hallway.

They all walked in and he did a little salute wave at Emily and Spencer. “So, when were you expecting to tell us?”

Derek looked over at JJ, “Um...not until it came into a conversation.”

“Huh,” Everyone turned to look at Y/N, “I just, I don’t know, most of my coworkers knew I was in a relationship and that I was gay. Both were found out by an accident.” He laughed a little, “That was my fault, I’ll admit. But still...” His voice wondered off.

Garcia then gasped, “I just realized, we haven’t introduced ourselves!” She moved over and hugged Y/N, “I’m Penelope Garcia, and sorry if you don’t like physical contact. I like to hug.” Y/N smiled and hugged her back.

He was the one to pull away and shook his head, “It’s okay, I don’t mind hugs, I like them too.”

She turned to Derek, “I like him, keep him.” Making everyone laugh. The rest of the team introduced themselves, well besides Emily and Spencer.

Y/N looked at his watch and cursed, “Shit, I gotta go! I’m already late as it is, it was nice meeting you all and seeing Emily and Spencer again!” He walked over to Derek and kissed him, “I’ll see you when I get done.” And ran out the door.

As soon as the door was shut and Y/N was gone, the whole team started to question Derek.

I really hope you enjoyed this!

TAGLIST

@millipop18

@andreaxxg13

@criminallminds

@criminalmindsfanantic

@h-burner

@criminalmindsmoodrn

@ssaemxlyprentxss

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan imagines #jj #Jennifer Jareau #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #david rossi #penelope garcia #derek morgan x male reader

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years ago

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Hi Colour! How are you doing today? I don't know about doing meaningful things with my life, feel like I've just been surviving this entire time lol. However I am trying to figure it out and working on building the life I want to live and hopefully I will be able contribute to this world in some way.

I don't think I've ever played a game of trivial pursuit. Have never been to a pub either, not like the ones you have in the UK anyway. Just been to very dirty bars where me and my friends used to drink as much as we could afford, shared questionable food that could potentially make us sick the next day and there were no quizzes or games really haha. So your exp sounds way more fun! 😂

I'm glad you're giving the song a chance! Only Spotify knows how many times I've listened to it lol. I reckon Hozier's going to be my artist of the year for 2021. I love attributing works of art to Dani x Jamie, have a whole ass Pinterest board full with images of paintings, poetry, music and anything that I think relates to them really (yeah I know, I have a problem).

I love everything you've said about how Dani, Viola and the lady in the lake are alike, I hadn't really thought about their similarities before, but everything you've said makes perfect sense. I always saw Viola as a narcissist, even her drive to protect her child felt selfish in a way, don't know if you know what I mean. And when she fades away and becomes the lady she's just pure (almost animalistic) instinct while on auto pilot, bc she only remembers rage and abandonment, she takes anything on her path aggressively unless they're a child. So what she sees in Dani is not processed logically, right? It's pure instinct and emotions, so what she recognizes in her when Dani invites her in is the desperate need to protect this child, so she sees her as deserving. Perhaps she also saw in Dani and opportunity to escape this nightmare. Despite all her faults she didn't deserve what happened to her either.

And don't get me wrong, Jamie is so, so strong and solid and she is my favorite mostly bc I identify with her personality more than Dani's. But we know Jamie is all that even before we learn her story, and I feel like it is expected that she'll be the strong and brave one bc she's had to be that her entire life albeit unwillingly. But Dani? We expect her to break at any given point, I mean she is reaching her limit after all that's happened, with all the weight she's carrying. I remember thinking "Jesus, this girl needs help" when I first watched the show hahaha. But she fights every damn time, she doesn't run away and that's why I find her so fascinating. That's why I thought this song was so fitting. Even if Dani would never see herself that way. But it's Jamie's perspective (and fire signs tend to exaggerate everything 😂) so it feels fitting that she thinks so highly of her baby haha. Ugh I just wanted them to stay together forever. 🥺

Omg yes! I love how you refined this idea, good thing you're a writer and I'm not hahaha. And yeah I'm absolutely here for sapphics with weapons like holy shit imagine Jamie fighting with a sword? 🤤 I'm weak. Hahaha would be cool to see them in a pirate AU too! Maybe someone's already done it? Idk. But aaaah I want to see them in every possible universe hahaha. Makes me want to get back into drawing too. 😩

Aww you two sound like you have a lovely bond going on. Your niece sounds like the coolest! I started out drawing anime too when I was a kid and ended up doing graphic design for a living! How did learning how to draw anime style go for you today?

Hey I'm doing great thank you I hope you are too? I know that feeling because I feel like that's how I have made it to 27 just surviving (barely) and taking things one day at a time to get me to this point and hopefully I can contribute in some way even it its just a small way... so I totally get that feeling but I am sure you contribute so much without you even realising it!! Oh it's great but depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are it can get pretty heated... I've been in some heated games of it before because people just refuse to believe I know the answers to some of the questions and they think I've been cheating and have all but demanded I have another question asked instead of the one I got right... and pub quizzes can be fun again depending on the team you're in and how seriously you wanna take it I have been in teams where its been a serious thing and we have all desperately wanted to win and then I've been in teams and we've just had fun with it... all the pubs I go in are dirty bars too but sometimes they have pub quizzes... I have had many nights where I have drank what I can afford... one night me on my roommate went over board though and we ended up spending ALL our money even our taxi fair and we had to walk home in the dark along country roads with hardly any lights to guide us... because of how drunk we were it too us around 3-4 hours and I fell over a road sign and ended up in a ditch... I've had a lot of fun experiences but some really stupid ones as well... your experiences sound great though!! I would love that!! I listened to the song and I loved it so much!! I don't even wanna know what my most listened to artist will be this year... my money is on it being the Six musical soundtrack... probably All You Wanna Do from that musical I'll be surprised if it's anything else. I would love for it to be someone like Hozier, but ever since I have done my Spotify wrapped thing it's always been a musical of some kind that's been my number 1 song / artist haha I love doing the same thing. If I can make something fit Dani x Jamie I will like it doesn't even matter what it is haha... I don't think you have a problem I think that sounds so cool!! I have nothing like that. I just have a head full of random ideas screaming to be let out I agree Viola is definitely selfish and narcissistic and everything she did came from a place of anger and rage over the things that happened to her she fell in love and got married and had a child and saw her sister try and take that from her while she was ill and in the end her sister killed her. Like yeah, I do feel sorry for Perdita with the way she was treated but I do think everything Viola did was out of frustration over what was happening to her. Like you said she acts on auto pilot and only knows rage until it comes to children- because all she knows is she is looking for a child so when she saw Dani so selfless sacrifice herself for a child she saw a little bit of herself in Dani she knows Dani is a good person and she can relate to that protective streak and I think she did see Dani as deserving I definitely agree with everything you've said here. Viola might have had faults and flaws and who doesn't? But I definitely think she had it rough and did deserve better than she was given. I agree, you can tell looking at Jamie that she is strong and brave while Dani comes off as the exact opposite. But I think you see fully how brave they both are when Dani sacrifices herself for Flora and when Jamie offers to keep Dani company and loves her despite knowing she won't be able to love her forever. I love Jamie but definitely relate to Dani's personality more, there are a lot of things Dani does that I see myself in her because I have done those types of things myself and the whole beast in the jungle speech resonates with me so much and every time I watch the last episode and hear that speech I am a crying mess from that point on. It's funny that you thought that about Dani when you first watched it, because me and my sisters got my mum to

watch it and she said the same thing about Dani "she needs help" but then once told me she liked Dani because she reminded her of me that was an interesting conversation to be a part of "Dani needs help... but I like her she's like you." I was like "Thanks?" I agree this song is definitely more how Jamie would see Dani, I think Dani just has a very blasé view of herself, like I don't think she's self conscious or self deprecating in anyway but I think she sort of walks around like "this is me and this is just how I am" where as Jamie just sees Dani for how brave and strong and amazing she is- maybe even if as a fire sign she exaggerates a little bit haha Jamie just thinks Dani is the most amazing person in the world and I just know that Dani saw her the same way!! I really wanted them to be together forever... I am never going to emotionally recover from Bly Manor. Your idea was incredible and I think it would be a great story to read honestly that's the type of thing I live for!! OMG Jamie with a sword is just 🤤 🥵 I am all for sapphics and weapons of any kind!! There's this pirate AU which is absolutely amazing!! I don't know if you've read it or not but iamalekza writes some really great fics!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631598/chapters/70179306 ^^ Pirate AU I really wish I could draw I would love to be able to draw scenes from fics I have read and even ones I have written but I just don't have the skill set for that!! I would love to see other fan arts though I think drawing is such an incredible talent to have and I am in awe of anyone that can do it!! Me and my niece have a great bond, she's like a little mini me (despite almost being as tall as me). She is honestly such a cool kid I have a hell of a lot of fun with her- I'm looking after her again tomorrow and I have no idea what we're gonna do but we will figure something out... she's such a good drawer she's only just started doing it at the beginning of the year and she's really progressed with it... I however have not so I am definitely gonna need more practice. That's so cool that you started out doing anime drawing and then ended up going into a career in graphic design. Again that's a talent that I am just in awe of because it's just something I have never been able to do!!

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epcot-anthony · 4 years ago

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College Tips

Hey guys!! This is obviously very off brand for the blog and I don’t know if anyone actually wants this but i’m bored so i’m going to do it anyways since a lot of schools start this week! Here’s just some things that I think may be good to know. Obviously take everything pretty lightly because everything is VERY dependent on your specific school/campus and you as a person! I hope this helps a little bit though!!

1.) Pack lightly. This is one that’s super relevant right now, but that’s not fully what I mean. A lot of people are going to say don’t bring your entire wardrobe and I agree with that, but by packing lightly I mean don’t bring all the little things. Don’t bring 10 bottles of perfume or 50 pairs of earrings if you do not think you will use those all the time. Little stuff totally adds up and will create some clutter! Right now especially I think it’s important to only bring the things you will use on a daily basis.

2.) Don’t fully trust ratemyprofessor. A lot of people will look on ratemyprofessor before they choose classes and I think that’s a super good thing, but it’s super important to realize that some reviews may not mean much at all. I know a lot of people get super worried when they have to choose a professor that has terrible reviews but I wouldn’t let that worry you too much. Everyone is so different so you may love a professor that someone hated and vise versa. Also, it’s good to realize that some people who leave reviews are the people who didn’t want to give any effort at all so that’s good to keep in mind.

3.) Be safe. Parties are totally fine (not during a pandemic, but that’s up to you I guess) but it’s super important to take precautions before going out. Go out with friends!! Unrelated to parties, but if you have to walk alone at night then self defense is super important! I haven’t heard people mention this one much before, but staying safe on dating apps is super important. Sharing your location with your friends before you meet with people is a very good idea!!

4.) It’s okay not to be best friends with your roommate. It is such a common misconception that you will go into college and be best friends with the person you took with. This does happen for some people but it does not happen to a lot of people either! It can totally suck and it’s something i’m still dealing with accepting, but it’s just important to realize that you can make friends in other ways. The only thing you really need to have with your roommate is respect for one another. With that, be a good person. Clean up after yourself, don’t be obnoxious when the other persons sleeping, and overall just be respectful.

5.) It’s okay to question your major. Lol still struggling with this but apparently it’s super normal!! As long as you are not absolutely miserable, I wouldn’t be concerned with occasionally questioning your major. If it’s something you genuinely do not want to do anymore though, then talk with your advisor! Also, career quizzes are fun if you ever are panicking! Very nice because sometimes they’ll give you your future career and it’s like oh cool, maybe I don’t need to panic over this! I also recommend looking into minors if you’re worried about the options your major limits you to.

6.) Figure out what’s right for you. I’m not sure how good of advice this is, but i’ll share it anyways. You will likely get the option of choosing when your classes are and within that you get to choose the order of your classes. It’s super important to begin to figure out if you are the type of person who enjoys 3 classes in a row to get them over with or the type of person who enjoys 2 classes in a row and then a 3 hour break before the next one. Also, when making your schedule it’s probably good to make note of the times and if those are realistic or not. Like, you need to eat lunch at some point so you probably shouldn’t have classes from 8am to 2pm every single day. Figuring out what’s best for you is great!

7.) It’s okay to not meet your best friend the first week of college. There is a pretty big stereotype that you will meet all your best friends and your entire friend group the first week of school and while that may happen for some people, it’s very unrealistic for others. It’s normal to not have all these friends a few days into being on campus. You will be alright, seriously. Class friends can be super amazing and you will probably make some of those! You will find friends at your own pace and that’s okay. You may never have a full friend group and that’s okay too! Really, do what makes you happy and realize that you are not the only one going through this.

8.) Make sure you are taking the right classes for your degree. So every major is different. Some majors will allow you to have complete freedom while others will have an exact set schedule for you for your entire college career. Realizing which of these you are in is especially important for class registration time (which sucks lol) because you need to know if you are allowed to select a random elective or if that will throw off your entire track. Again, talk with your advisor! Some are wonderful and some unfortunately are not. If yours isn’t, I would just try to figure out the specific classes you need to take before you register so you aren’t wasting money or delaying graduation.

9.) Textbooks. This section has a few things so we will go vague with the title! Now I know most schools make you rent textbooks for a crazy amount which sucks, but I fortunately don’t really deal with that so I can’t give much opinion there. If you’re in that situation, I do recommend looking at all the textbook sites online (i’m sorry I don’t have names but i’m sure they’re not too hard to find!!) and trying to find cheaper versions. So many classes you will not use the book once even if it’s required. Like..you may have required readings and still not reallyyy need to use the textbook. If you have some classes that require you to buy the books, don’t get them until the class has started. Don’t pay $200 for something you may not need at all. It is good to be prepared for class, but you probably won’t be the only one who didn’t get the textbook. I’ve had situations where the rental place will say a section doesn’t need the book and they do, so i’d just wait until class for that one!

10.) Don’t believe all the college advice you see. Yeah this is super weird to put in here, but I think it’s important. There will be so many college Youtube videos and blog articles telling you how your college experience is going to go and it’s best to take that lightly. One thing that I never realized was how different all schools are. I watched Youtube videos where the girls would talk about how everyone would open their doors and just be best friends with everyone and yeah that was absolutely not the case for me. Sooo many things will be campus, personal, and even dorm based so it’s so good to take things lightly. Don’t fully trust everything you see because it may cause you to be disappointed when you realize that you’re in the exact opposite situation. Just take everything super lightly!

Bonus stuff that’s kinda simple but still important:

10/10 recommend a fridge and microwave

Try not to miss class because it becomes a bad habit and will catch up to you

Being homesick is so extremely normal. It happens to almost everyone and it sucks. It might not even hit you until your second semester and it’s super hard, but I do believe it can be hardest when you don’t have responsibilities yet. Once classes start and you have a routine things will likely start to get easier.

Planners!! Are!! Great!!! (If you’re online for the semester, 10/10 recommend fully planning what assignments and things you need to get done every single day and just crossing them off like a checklist. It gives you a little bit of a routine)

Try to do laundry at weird times. A Tuesday at 2:30pm? Sure! Doing laundry with less people is much more enjoyable than doing it on a Friday or Saturday when there is a thousand people and there is random socks everywhere.

Emailing people when you have questions is never a bad thing. Anxiety sucksss but the thing I always think of is “this is likely not the worst email this person has ever received” and it makes me feel so much better.

I apologize for how long this may be!!! Idk, these might suck but hopefully they’re kinda helpful. I know they’re mostly academic based, but that stuff is always important too! If you have any questions or need literally anything you can always message me or send me an ask!! I believe in you!!

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tabletopjourneys · 4 years ago

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Session 36 Notes

The session in which I have come to realize that both Selphina’s player and the DM are spelling her nickname Fee instead of Phi. Henceforth, I will be doing the same. Also the session in which we further explore Longview and get to know more people in Rana's home town, help some of them out, get revenge for Harold the alpaca, Stellan gifts Fee with +1 daggers to help protect his sister, and then we head back out on the road for Bouldergap.

@gher-bear @aradow @telurin @epimetala

On this day we continue catching up with various townsfolk of Longview, in particular the ones we meet at The Smiling Dragon tavern/inn.

We get lots of history lessons from the oldest dragonborn ever, tell the story of Perfection (among others), help Jibru the soft-spoken, new-agey orc with her plants (well primarily Rana does this), encourage, Dicho a travelling bard in training on his adventuring break (primarily Diem), and solve the mystery of Shima's missing alpacas.

This involves a revenge one-shot by Fee of the giant owl responsible for killing poor Harold in front of all the other alpacas.

We stop by for one last visit with Rana's mother, Romy, and her brother, Stellan. The latter gives Fee two +1 crafted daggers he made to use in place of her assassin ones she can't be seen with near Bouldergap and Stoneroost.

After that, we're on our way down the road to Bouldergap.

(Read More)

(The Smiling Dragon tavern)

On our way to the tavern, when Diem finds out the name, they rib Rana with a smirk. “The smiling dragon? How sure are you about the tavernkeep?”

Rana ignores them.

It’s probably 2-3pm

The Smiling Dragon has a nice, homey interior and basically looks like the Green Dragon Inn from The Hobbit inside.

The barkeep is behind the bar doing barkeep things.

We see an Aladdin-looking human bard with a lute (Dicho Acaa), a super ancient female dragonborn (Gran Tewafey; one of those ladies who are now just too old to die), and the barkeep-owner, Grismor Fefoki, behind the bar.

Rana knows both the barkeep and elderly dragonborn (no mention of knowing the bard, so I assume not). The elderly dragonborn, Gran, has looked this old ever since Rana’s known her. Rana nods to her as she comes through the door, this person is a fixture of the town and Rana is unsurprised to see her there.

The old dragonborn looks us all over as we enter, but it takes her a second before she goes “Rana? Who are these people with you, come over here, what in tarnation!?”

Rana: Oh hey, Gran…

Diem introduces themself as we approach with a respectful, hopefully charming bow. “I bet you have all the best stories.”

Gran: Finally, a young person who respects their elders - you look a little strange but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I do have some good stories - people should listen to their elders more!

Rana: We’ll be more than happy to listen - I’m gonna run up and get some food first and then keep you company (Rana practically runs to the bar).

Gran: I was about to leave but yeah I’ll keep you company.

Fee: Ooooh no.

We’re in for having our ears talked off and Diem is loving it, even if it is the somewhat dry material one would expect from schoolhouse history lessons.

In one of the stories, Fee interrupts “Exactly what IS tarnation?”

Gran has a story about this and the etymology too. Her way of speaking is as if she was around for the entire growth of this word lol.

Rana picks up a dessert for Gran.

The barkeep gives Rana a commiserating look (I already got you, I see what’s going on). They gossip about Rana’s niece and niephio’s mischief, namely how Taniel had not so long ago brought home a wild animal, just like auntie Rana used to.

Meanwhile, despite the occasionally dry lesson-style stories, Diem is loving it anyway - sorry ya’ll they’re prompting off this etymology lesson by asking what she knows about all the animals around her speaking draconic.

Gran is definitely of the mindset all of the native animals speaking draconic is the blessing of V’kandis. “We’re a blessed town. Nothing bad ever happens here, no bandits come through, no wild animals attacking, we’re really favored by our god.” This segues into proselytizing and being urged toward the priest before we leave.

Diem is finally less than thrilled by the religious preaching bits and their attention begins to wander to the bard who misunderstands their attention and fumbles his song a little and is painfully self-conscious. He thinks Diem is watching because he missed a chord or some other critique-minded senpai is looking thing. Meanwhile, Diem feels bad for him and can’t wander over or try and encourage him instead because Gran is snapping her fingers at them to pay attention. Diem puts a pin in approaching the bard later to encourage and make it up to him.

All you can drink potions is probably mostly joke potions. Rana orders a round of the local brews including one for Gran.

Gran begins quizzing Rana about her recent travels and how we all met.

Fee: First we had these mighty rats to fight in a tavern much like this one.

Gran: Rats? Why would you just be going off and killing rats, where are you from?

Rana: They’re not the same kinda rats Gran, these ones don’t talk.

Gran: Not from around here, I definitely understand, I definitely knew that.

Rana: I picked up this group in Rethwellian

Gran gives us another once over, her eyes falling on Ixayl'anu now and squints at her “I didn’t realize Rethwellian dragonborn were feathered, I thought that was some kind of headdress but you’re not…?”

Ixayl'anu: No no…

Rana starts stuffing her face to avoid being involved in this topic

Ixayl'anu: Not from Rethwellian. From a little bit farther away than that I think.

Gran perks up: Oh okay, where might that be?

Ixayl'anu: The Seejit (spelling?) Isles?

Gran looks at her like she just said Atlantis: Never met anyone from there before. Is it true that ya’ll have a dragon as an emperor over there?

Ixayl’anu: Yeah

Gran: To each their own

Ixayl’anu: No less weird than animals speaking draconic

They move on as Ixayl'anu asks Gran what she does.

She teaches history.

More conversation I missed.

Rana: We came on a boat in the water, never been on one before have you?

Gran: I’ve seen ‘em but I don’t like ‘em, never been on one.

Rana: Apparently these two have shipwrecked before (she indicates Diem and Ixayl’anu)

Gran: See, that’s why you shouldn’t.

Ixayl’anu: I technically never shipwrecked, my ship made it, I didn’t.

Diem: I mean...yeah, my ship made it too, I just got swept overboard and onto the wild expanse no less.

Gran: That explains why you look the way you do.

Diem: I will try not to take that personally….

We get ship avoiding advice courtesy of Gran.

Rana asks after various rumors in town.

Gran talks about livestock going missing and various other things because Gran knows everything and everyone.

Except one thing, apparently: I’m an old lady how would I know what kind of animal is out there?

Rana: You talk to a lot of people

Gran: That would require them knowing what’s going on. (after some thought) About a week ago Shima mentioned she was missing a few alpacas.

Diem: Any giant mole hills involved?

This question eventually leads to the story of their recent adventure with Diem dropping the word abominations in Perfection and several eyes turn our direction.

Now that all eyes are on Diem, obviously waiting for more, they launch into the Perfection story loud enough for eavesdroppers (21 performance). The bard in training stops to listen as well. He adds a chord every so often but he’s very much entranced as well.

Diem notices and encourages with faint prestidigitation sounds, a smile and a wink which totally shuts the poor guy’s brain down instead.

Jibru Tiklot, an older orc lady claps at the end and afterward asks to make sure there was a noon sun druid there.

Diem says their leader was there (because Edea looks like a definite leader to them).

Jibru: How very fortuitous that you were there then, that’s good to hear. (She’s very soft spoken and new agey).

Now that Jibru has Rana’s attention though, she also wants to know if Rana is staying awhile because she has some things she’d love some help with.

Rana: Oh yeah sure (not missing a beat)

They arrange things in exchange for cookies, Rana presuming again to speak for the whole group without asking first lol.

Rana: What sort of issue am I looking at so I can come prepared?

Oh it’s my <insert jungle plant name I missed>.

They talk about it a little, Rana belatedly asks if that’s okay with us, we’re fine with it. Jibru and Rana arrange to meet after food, drink, and stories.

We learn one of the reasons Rana was inspired to leave Longview in the first place was probably traveller stories from this very tavern.

Fee at some point talks about Miova and taking ships to other areas and such.

Rana talks about how super nice and helpful Fee’s friend Dima is (and Fee’s sister being so nice).

Fee gives her a ‘really?’ sort of look about Dima being nice, looking around to see if anyone appeared to recognize the name.

Also, Fee starts investigating around this establishment regarding use of thieves’ cant (25). She notices there are a lot of intricate carvings in the walls and beams, lots of smiling dragons built into the craftsmanship, there are small symbols on the front of the bar that indicate secret codes. An X with a top and an oval with 3 wavy s lines on the bar (bread symbol). On a side beam there’s also a triangle with a pea in it, spear or arrow on top of pea (people inside will…?). Triangle with the downward sword.

(A conversation about bread)

When they pay, Fee tips extra to Grismor after she’s observed this guy seems to be a cool person who helps people in need out.

Fee, in thieves’ cant while complimenting his bread: We seem to have friends in common

Grismor (while also pretending to talk about bread): Not friends but it pays to know the local players/powers.

Fee (so much lovely bread and your brew was lovely): Yes, I agree. Used to be on the payroll myself, but guess I could call them acquaintances also.

Grismor (thank you kindly stranger, please don’t mind that Diem is totally filling in what our fake conversation was like - mmmm bread - these two can REALLY talk about bread) Sounds like you made the right decision, seem like a good group of people you’re here with now.

Fee (Yes, do you have any other pastries I can sample?): Oh you know Rana

(DM Clarifications about earlier points: When Rana mentioned Dima out loud, Fee had noticed Grismor perked up in a negative sort of way recognizing the name. Fee noticed he had lots of symbols. “Safe resting place” “we offer free food here” “People here will guard you”)

Fee (I am all about bread, simply can’t get enough of it, do you have bread I can take on the road?): Do you have any current business with our mutual acquaintance?

Grismor (Sure, I can pack you up some bread, always love a good bread aficionado): No, I’m happy...more retired at this point

Fee (Excellent, I can smell it all from here, could you add a few sweet breads? Stuffed pastries?): I feel ya. Well if you need anything hypothetically we’ll be going back there eventually, I’ll do you a favor (being charming). (insight check on Grismor’s response: natural one - 3 total)

He kinda looks at her and he pats her cheek (All the bread you like little gnome, I’ll toss in a few free samples for the road). “Anytime you need something, just let me know. This is a great conversation, I feel like it’s been illuminating, but I don’t need anything right now, thanks.”

(He is very happy with her though)

Rana is finishing up the story about Ixayl'anu’s feather theft, occasionally glancing over at Fee and the barkeep being 100% slick and believable about their bread conversation that Diem totally did not make up for them after the fact.

When Fee returns “Man I’m tired.”

Rana: It’s after noon…

Diem: To be fair your sleep was disturbed.

Rana tries to ask about missing livestock.

Ixayl'anu suggests we can go talk to people around town about it instead.

As things are winding down Rana tries to get Jibru’s attention.

Ixayl'anu says she’ll go with, Diem says they’re gonna stick around and talk to the bard. Fee says she’s gonna take a nap.

Rana: Here? In the middle of the crowd?

Grismor: I do actually have a spare bed she can use.

After a brief exchange he insists it’s between friends, don’t worry about it.

Fee goes upstairs to nap in the sort of hold-over room for emergency issues like a friend’s friend is about to sleep in a bush drunk, rather than an official room.

(Off to Jibru’s)

Rana and Ixayl’anu go off with Jibru. She ushers them into a house full of plants and crystals, and new agey homey stuff. “I just don’t know what’s wrong with it. It just doesn’t seem to…(missed words) I moved it into and out of the sun and it doesn’t like that either...can you help?” (among a list of other things she’s tried)

Rana nature checks 10 - the leaves look a little ragged in addition to being sad and droopy, soil is dry, and she knows that it’s a tropical plant, not a desert plant.

Jibru: I mist it every day and I moved it into the house…

The heat is fine, it’s probably drying out though.

So I should water it more, is what you’re saying…?

Rana casts lesser restoration on the plant, starting with that. It still looks a little droopy, but the edges of the leaves fill in a little bit and it gives her two new leaves immediately.

“Oh we need water.” Jibru leaves to go get some. When she gets back: “I knew you could do something with it, it’s already looking so much better.”

Rana: It did seem to have some sort of disease (medicine check of 13 - she notices some fungus gnat infestation crawling out while it’s being watered).

Rana advises her to get someone to sell her some gnat eating lizards for it. In a controlled fashion, she’s going to cast plant growth to invigorate it and all the other nearby plants too.

Jibru’s eyes get big “Oh my gosh…” She was just going to give us cookies but now...she gives Rana a plate of very delicious snicker doodles and an herbalist’s bundle which does some cool things: Rare (These ingredients can be chewed raw for minor effects or, if you are proficient with the ‘herbalism kit’, you can spend 6 hours brewing any number of one type into potions for no extra cost, each bundle has 1d4 ingredients, roll a D6 to determine what each ingredient is:

Witch weed - (raw) water breathing for 5 minutes; (brewed potion) disguise self or water breathing for an hour.

Pepper berries - (raw) resist cold for a minute; (brewed potion) resist any element or fire breath.

Ogre ear - (raw) advantage to your next attack roll; (brewed potion) hill giant strength or potion of growth

Lover’s thorn - (raw) advantage to charisma checks for 1 minute; (brewed potion) philter of love or potion of poison.

Ghostbloom - (raw) false life; (brewed potion) invisibility.

Mother’s rest - (raw) resist disease for an hour; (brewed potion) lesser restoration or greater healing.

Rana does have proficiency and sits in small talk with Jibru, chatting about plants, medicinal herbs, and things like that.

She’s one of the people in town Rana typically gets along well with.

Ultimately they say their goodbyes about an hour heading back to the inn where Diem has spent their time trying to encourage and set the bard there at ease. They roll an 18 persuasion at this, primarily accomplished by admitting they’re not a bard either, just an entertainer. The bard is a little sad about this, but also gets over his senpai noticed me thing enough for conversation. Diem finds out he’s on a little bit of an adventuring gap year.

They finish encouraging his future efforts by complimenting all the things they enjoyed about his current performance and rejoin their friends when they enter.

(Enter Shima)

Back together at the tavern, we take cookies, and a pretty lady named Shima Paravash walks in. She appears to be a human about Rana’s age with tan skin and long silver-white hair. They’re not really friends, but they know each other (she’s more Stellan’s friend).

Shima: Rana, I heard that you were in town...are you busy? Are you gonna be in town long?

Rana: Probably at least until tomorrow, but we have time for stuff - what’s going on?

Shima: We keep alpacas...we’ve had an alpaca or two go missing (nervous)

Rana: We actually just heard about that and were gonna check out what’s going on, don’t want livestock going missing.

Shima takes in her friends (the rest of us): I notice you have friends with you…

Diem introducing themself: Diem, lovely to meet you.

Further introductions are made. Ixayl’anu says her full name.

Rana: Ixie is easier

Diem: She doesn’t particularly like Ixie though, Rana (verbal elbow)

Rana (matter of fact): But Ixie’s just easier.

Ixayl’anu to Shima: I prefer Ixayl’anu, please.

Shima turns back to Rana: We haven’t found any bodies or anything.

Rana: We can check it out now.

Shima looks surprised: Oh yeah we can do it now.

Some conversation missed on the way to Shima’s farm.

Shima: Rana’s mom will buy some fleece from us on occasion (they have alpacas of various colours)

Shima’s family definitely does not own the town (Rana is confused about where that impression came from - and I am not sure who asked in the first place between Fee or Ixie).

Shima hangs out by Rana/closer to her, asking the same questions everyone else has so far.

Rana gives her a more complete answer since she’s friends with Stellan - nothing to cause a panic, but a little about the investigation on weirdness with the meteors. She wants the town to be informed but if she lets the wrong thing slip gossip would make it an apocalypse by morning.

Shima doesn’t take us to the house directly, but instead to the paddock where the ones that went missing were last. “This is where they were, we’ve check the fences, I just went out to feed them and do field rotation and they just weren’t here and nobody stole them, I don’t know what to do…”

Rana asks a question I missed.

Shima: There were only two

The other ones were acting nervous like there was a predator around but we haven’t seen anything…

We find out this happened about 4 days ago. Shima hasn’t heard of anyone else missing livestock around town.

Good perception checks all around (Diem actually got a 17!), Rana got a nat 20 - she hears birds but doesn’t see any. Alpacas in the distance do still appear to be nervous, it’s a nice clear day.

Fee squeaks out to lure a local rat for answers. Side note: For future reference, help Fee remember her rat ring adds 2 to her stealth - nat 20 for total 22 persuasion.

Shima looks like she thinks it’s very strange. As she’s saying she hasn’t seen any small things to question around for awhile now though.

However, as she’s saying that a vole pops up “Well, howdy.”

Fee: Oh hello rodent of the brown.

Vole: I’m a vole.

Fee: We are looking for the missing livestock, do you know where all the livestock went?

Vole: Well I uh don’t really go out from under the ground but I have been hearing a bunch of - I’ve been hearing some loud sounds at night, like a big predator so I didn’t think I should come out at night anyway.

Fee: That’s totally valid, stay safe my friend.

She finds out it’s just recently and not all night, but off and on.

Fee: Do they smell?

He doesn’t know he runs when he hears the noise.

Fee gives him a rat treat (Ixayl'anu has been translating the vole’s words)

Vole: Thanks!

Fee: Thank you Mr. Vole

Vole: Come back any time if you’ve got more of these snacks.

Rana heads toward the alpacas by the end of this exchange. She casts speak with animals to understand the alpaca.

Rana: Hey, I’ve got a question for you?

Their heads all swivel in surprise. The bravest alpaca approaches.

Rana: I hear some things have been happening in the area, do you know why that paddock over there is empty?

They all look at her and start talking over each other saying things like “Are you gonna help us?” and “There’s a monster at night that comes out.” and “Yeah, they ate Harold!”

Rana: That sounds really bad I’d like to make that not happen, do you know where it’s coming from?

The brave alpaca points with its nose toward the iron heights in the hillier direction: “Yeah it’s real quiet and then it suddenly appeared - just lifted him! It was a flying monster the size of a barn with glowing eyes.

Rana: Did it look like the normal big flying birds that come around?

They all look around.

Brave alpaca: I’ve seen little birds? I guess it had feathers?

Rana: You mentioned it had glowing spots?

Alpaca the Brave: The eyes, they were just bright yellow and it was just huge. They confer amongst themselves. It was a big bird.

Rana: I think I know what it might be...is there anything else you want me to do?

Alpaca the Brave: Can you tell them we’d like to be inside at night? In the barn please?

Rana: I will tell them, I have a feeling they won’t have a problem with that ‘cause we wouldn’t want anything to happen to anyone else like it did Harold. We’ll see about getting rid of big bird too.

They all nod like good good

Rana: Thank you very much.

Rana comes back and tells all of us and Shima.

Shima: But we would have seen...do you think it’s a roc?

Rana: All they know is that it was big, it had feathers, and it carried Harold off.

Shima looks confused: Maybe after all this is over I can have you tell me what the alpacas all call each other?

Rana agrees (and notes that she will do so before we leave).

Rana nature checks, knows there’s giant owls and giant eagles - ones she’s seen from a distance before. Giant bird form is thus gifted to her repertoire of shapeshifts.

We talk about spending the night out there to keep watch, help protect Rana’s village.

Rana makes sure we’re okay with that. We talk briefly about our quest, but we were planning on staying one more night anyway.

Shima, talking about sheltering the alpacas: It’s a little tight but if that’s what they want…

Rana: They were adamant about wanting that, and you might wanna tell the others to bring their livestock in for the night too so this thing doesn’t fly past here looking for food.

Shima says she’ll send a bird.

We return to Rana’s home/mother to tell her the plan and pick up our stuff for the night.

(A plan of revenge-camping for poor Harold)

Ixayl'anu is taking the elk with her to use as bait.

Rana convinces her mom to get the sheep inside and camels if they’ll fit.

Rana sets camp up under tree cover in the tiny hut.

Ixayl'anu and Rana swap watch places since Rana’s exhausted from the previous night’s lack of true rest (Ixayl’anu first, Rana with Diem on last watch).

Ixayl’anu’s perception is a 15 - it’s quiet for her watch, she spends a lot of the evening listening to the birds chitter in gossipy draconic, just regular bird talk in draconic though too. Nice little wind background noise. No owls spotted.

Fee’s middle watch perception 9. She’s just a little distracted, she’s confused about why we’re looking for rocks on the ground, why we keep talking about rocks, inspecting the local rocks for movement - it’s probably a desert thing. Something these farmers know that she doesn’t.

Elk has been told to stand watch, still in easy sight, beacon in the field, playing bait, as it were. Elk has passive perception of 10 - gets 14 perception, he snaps his head up a few times.

To Ixayl’anu through the night in their telepathic bond: Can i eat this? Can i eat this? He eventually goes over to talk to the alpacas for a bit: What’re you doing in there? (Ixayl’anu doesn’t get their side of whatever conversation might have happened)

Diem rolls 18 on perception, Rana 16. We still don’t notice what happened until (Ixayl'anu will notice immediately) the elk gives a screaming, bugling cry as it is already being lifted up by a dark shape - we didn’t notice the silent approach.

Rana: Found it!

Ixayl'anu is awake because the elk’s screaming bloody murder in her mind.

It is about 100 yards away.

The elk makes it’s contested strength check at a 22. It takes 1d6 dmg as it falls to the ground (full 6). As it does we hear an angry screech of frustration as the creature whirls back around.

Elk is stunned but Ixayl'anu is calling him back immediately.

Rana casts earthbind immediately: Yellow strips of magical energy loop around the creature. The target must succeed on a Strength saving throw, or its flying speed (if any) is reduced to 0 feet for the spell’s duration. An airborne creature affected by this spell safely descends at 60 feet per round until it reaches the ground or the spell ends.

She tries to identify what this is through the pale yellow glow of magic around it in the distance. She sees this is a giant great horned owl. 23 nature check - generally the ones who come down to hunt livestock only when there’s no other food available or they’re injured/can’t catch normal food in a proper hunt.

Rana: Take it down!

Fee hits the owl for 15 - 7dmg + 17 sneak attack dmg (24 sneak attack dmg). It dies in a poof of feathers, all salvagable parts are still salvageable.

The yellow magic binding it to the ground fades.

We trek over to check it out.

Elk comes up slightly bloodied and wild-eyed.

Ixayl’anu: Oh…don’t worry, it’s over now.

She lightly slaps her elk’s shoulder and casts lay on hands, getting an appreciative emotion back.

Even with our crap investigation roles, this owl is very thin, Harold didn’t do much for it.

Ixayl'anu is doing loops keeping watch, working off excess energy.

We discuss what to do with the rest of the night now, deciding to just keep camping out til morning.

Rana: We don’t need a hut

Diem just gives her a look and summons the hut anyway.

Ixayl'anu is too keyed up and running circles with the elk.

Rana camps out in the grass and fresh air.

Ixayl'anu’s perception is 16 - doesn’t see much.

Rana collects some feathers (11 survival - 5 feathers before she gets frustrated - tougher than she expected)

Rana and Diem talk about why it was starving and if more predators might be on the way.

Ixayl'anu calms down enough to take a good look at the bird (7 lol). She can’t see any obvious signs of broken bones, but she doesn’t see any other hints of anything. Feathers are kinda ragged but it’s late in the year, not sure if that means anything. Can’t tell its age. It was able to fly and lift the elk though.

We move on to talk about the two routes to Bouldergap and on to Stoneroost and how Rana has been there but reminds us you can’t just get in Stoneroost. One just does not simply walk into Stoneroost.

We discuss how unlikely it is this giant owl was a symptom of something more sinister that needs to be immediately checked out as opposed to an isolated incident that's been taken care of. We also discuss whether it would be worth taking Rana's usual path through the mountains instead to both make sure everything's good up there with the wildlife while still making our way to Bouldergap.

With an 8 survival check Rana thinks the travel time between her path through the mountains and taking the road is about the same, if she were on her own. In the process she calls them “my mountains” however, which Diem finds charming.

Diem: ‘My mountains?’ Well now I feel like I have to see them up close - like some of your family I’ve yet to meet.

Rana admits it may actually take us longer since we’re not used to mountain travel like she is. Her path through the mountains may be quicker, but she just doesn’t know about us because alone she’s very adept at mountains.

By way of a not serious answer, Diem alters their appearance to look exactly like her, clothing and all and mimics her voice: I’m very adept at mountains.

Rana: I’ll remind you of that when I’m fishing you out of a crevasse.

We decide to take the main road.

As sun starts to break the family comes out to see the bird and Shima talks to us.

Rana: Got you a present.

Some missed words about whether it’s the culprit.

Rana: It tried to snatch my friend’s elk so I imagine it’s what took your alpaca.

More missed words back and forth about these things being common, coming down to feed on farms when injured, all that jazz and how Shima’s never seen anything like it but Rana thinks it’s perfectly ordinary out there.

Shima: You go up in the mountains though...this could defintely eat a person.

Rana: I’ve never been eaten by one.

Diem: No, we left that up to the quetzalcoatlus *ribbing Rana quietly*

Shima is encouraged to hire somebody or something to make use of the rest of the carcass.

We totally gave Fee the credit but the story is gonna become Rana the giant owl slayer in stories.

We all get a nice breakfast.

(One more visit with mom and Stellan before we go)

We get herded back to Rana’s mom’s place.

We establish than when Diem and Romy were talking cloth/clothes, Diem gave Rana’s mom some of the nice cloth we got in Budelia from our fight with the vampire, Lady Sinnah.

We see Stellan one more time. He pulls Rana aside and hands her a pair of daggers: These are for your gnome friend - better daggers while she can’t use the other ones.

Fee thanks him, and wearing the daggers of a known blacksmith is going to be helpful. It’s also easy to notice they’re dwarvish style in make. There’s lots of teasing about Fee refusing the daggers at first, saying her old standard ones are fine, but I’m not sure if that refusal was actually in character.

On the road to Bouldergap we see a lot of priests of Sunhame for V’kandis. It takes us 2 days on the road to arrive to our next destination.

#Phi is now Fee #Anesh #Longview #The Smiling Dragon #Romy #Stellan #Grismor Fefoki #Dicho Acaa #Shima Paravash #Gran Tewafey #Jibru Tiklot #mentioned:#Taniel Halsfield #Dima #Harold the alpaca #Edea Vilyua

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yakumtsaki · 5 years ago

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I taste just like ice cream, bitch I am so icy, heart cold like an ice queen, that's why they don't like me 🎵

-What the hell was that.

Traditionally I start Union updates with semi-relevant song lyrics.

-Why did you start an update at all.

Because it’s time, Shajar! I took a holy oath in my 2020 simming goals post to update Unions once a month, and I’m already a month late.

-But nothing interesting is happening.

That’s never stopped me before. Now listen to Rico Nasty, cry some more about Sophie blowing you off, and shut up.

-Ugh please, I couldn’t be more over Sonia if I tried. I hardly ever texted her links to wedding pinterest boards and quizzes to determine if our parenting styles are compatible.

Did she ever reply?

-She did once and said ‘who dis’. Of course the letters unscrambled spell out ‘do wish’, meaning she did wish me to keep messaging her. I just don’t know where it all went wrong.

-Hey there, 17 year old girl, maybe you’ve had enough neat whiskey for the night? We’re actually running out of bottles.

-Beat it, ponytail, I need to dull my pain. I’ve just been stabbed right in the gut by the love of my life. Just like my style idol and general role model, space opera fascist Kylo Ren.

Shaj I really hate seeing you like this, and not just because the red neon light is super unflattering on your complexion.

-You can fuck right off too, I was perfectly happy with my dads who hate me and my imbecile sister and my brother who might as well not exist, noogie-ing people all day AND night long, but you had to be all ‘OMG IT’S SOPHIE MIGUEL SHAJAR GO TALK TO HER’. Life-ruining-moron.

But I was totally right about you two hitting it off, I mean look how sad you are now that she dumped- yea never mind, that’s not a good argument.

-Look what I can do even though I’ve had 46 whiskeys!! How you like me now, Sophie???

-You’re paying for all these broken glasses, I’m going to need your name and a credit card.

-Yes, fair enough, my name is Cyneswith Union-

-I LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

Yea, you really should eat something to soak up all the alcohol. And not to kick you when you’re down, but you should also disregard all those cliches about ~a smile being the most beautiful thing you can wear~ because MAN. Watch out Joaquin, there’s a new Joker on the prowl.

-So.. 20 lobsters thermidor and our most expensive appetizers?

-Aha.

-Would you mind settling your bill now?

-Of course not! My name is Cyneswith Union and this is the credit card my parents got me when I was 6 because we’re super duper best friends! I love my parents! They don’t care about their other daughter at all, even when their other daughter is going through a really hard time because she got the emotional equivalent of a lightsaber wound in the gut. You know what, let me also get 20 bottles of your most overpriced champagne to go with the lobsters.

Feeling better?

-Well it’s hard to feel bad when you’re spending your parents’ money recklessly and with malice aforethought.

It sure is. Alright well, the sun is coming up, maybe we should head home.

-What’s the rush? What is going to happen if I don’t go home, my parents will get worried? LOL

God your life sucks. Ok let’s hit a couple more places.

-Greetings. Welcome to our establishment. I am a human employee from this planet.

Great, nice to meet you.

-I just want there to be no doubt that I am indeed an earthling, born and raised under the earth’s exosphere and not above it.

Leave us alone.

-And I’m the resident community lot sim with that one face template you hate! There must be one of us on every lot you visit!

-And I am here in my revealing outfit to use the dance sphere and make everyone uncomfortable!

You’re actually pretty, I need to keep you in mind for after Don Oates takes a wrecking ball to our genetics, but yea, let’s bounce, Shajar.

Time to visit the happiest place on earth, Deh'Javu Modern Art Museum, home to my favorite piece of art in any medium, The Toilet of Fire. Shove that Fountain up your ass, Duchamp. How we feeling, Shaj?

-This trash can reminds of Sophie :( She used to go around town throwing money she stole from charities in trash cans and then send them riddles for where to find them :(

Enough with Sophie, we’ll find you someone better! Like..

..your aunt! Get the hell out of here Brit Brit, you’re taking up townie space.

-I won’t be long, Gunther’s amazing close-up portrait of my hair was rejected by the museum so I’m here to set this shithole on fire.

In other words Gunther just painted a canvas black and called it a day?

-His art doesn’t cater to plebs. Yes, offense.

Our old friend Ugly Teen Townie is here so finally we can have some fun. Shajar had gone almost 12 hours(!) without noogieing someone and I was starting to worry for her health.

-Yes, yes, I’m starting to feel like myself again..

Good for you, Shaj!

-Hope you’ve made peace with your God, Ugly Teen Townie, this water balloon is filled with horse feces!

-WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET HORSE SHIT

-I ordered it from some guy named Leod McGreggor.

-How about a another joke, MuRRAY?

-What?!

-Now you say, ‘no, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes’. Say it!

-No, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes.

-What do you get when you cross a mentally-ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash? Now you say ‘call the police, Gene!’

-Call the police, Gene!

-I'll tell you what you get..

-YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE. HAHA oh man! Good stuff.

Alright I’m starting to feel bad for Ugly Teen Townie, first he had to come to all the toddler birthday parties during the Victoria/Komei era and now this, he has suffered enough at this family’s hands. Time to go home, Shaj.

-Not so fast!

Wow, the Countess and Mrs. Crumplebottom on the same lot, top 10 anime crossovers.

-I have been sent here by the Limp Dick Vamps United organization to recruit Shajar Union.

Ugh you people are still around? Haven’t heard of you losers since the Count wouldn’t let Victoria bang him, which I’m still annoyed about.

-Indeed we are, and it’s clear Shajar is ready to join us, dedicating her life to evil deeds without romantic distractions. I have no idea what Crumplebottom is doing here.

-I’m here to recruit Shajar to my own organization, Bitter Sims Worldwide Alliance. We’re always on the lookout for new members who want to spread their misery to their fellow Sim.

It sounds like it’d be more effective if you guys just merged your organizations.

-I will NEVER merge my organization with someone who displays her bosom like a common whore.

-Eat a dick, Crumplebottom!

-MAKE ME, FANGTOOTH

-Alright here I am, what the fuck do you want?

-Shajar, it is a pleasure to meet you! Ardent admirer of your work.

-What work, freakshow?

-Torturing everyone around you, what else!

-What? I don’t torture people around me, if anything they torture me.

-Why don’t you talk to me about it?

-I’d rather not, you look like a bejeweled snowman.

-Look deep into my eyes, Shajar..

-And now look deep into my razor sharp teeth..

-Ugh fine, let’s talk.

-Is that Victoria and Komei’s teen granddaughter hanging out with a vampire?

Yes it is Kennedy, keep it moving.

-God, wtf is wrong with this family.

Nothing now that you’ve been removed from our social circle, go away! Just kidding, you’re an icon and I’m marrying you in at some point.

-Hard pass.

Your loss, hombre.

-It definitely isn’t.

-If I had known your turn on was vampires I would had set you two up!

STOP SETTING UP TEENS WITH ADULTS, LAKSHMI. And Shajar’s turn ons isn’t vampires, it’s fitness/fatness. Body positive queen.

-Well, Shajar, you alphabetically listing all the people who have wronged you while I was trying to kill Crumplebottom telepathically has made for a very productive conversation. We’ll be in touch.

-Thanks, Countess, it’s been real.

Shajar!!! Who cares about Sophie when you might bag a hot, rich vamp??

-Meh.

I’m gonna need you to be more excited about this prospect because a vampire spouse might just be enough of a draw to beat the comedic factor of fucking Don Oates turning us into an unintentional uglacy and I’m doing whatever I can to avoid my fate.

Ugh.

UGH

UGHHHHHHH

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO VICTORIA

-GET FUCKED, BROKEN FACED WEIRDO

God I miss you Vic 💔

-Donnie-bear, not to be not-nice, but mopping your pee off my front lawn is not exactly what I pictured doing during this date.

This guy won’t even mop up his own piss, what a catch.

Wow, manipulative much?? You are a piss piece of work, Donaldo.

-Don’t think we forgot about you, you 10-nice-point disgrace!

-VICTOR NO

-GET THAT MOP READY

-Finally, some peace and quiet.. Just me, alone with my broken heart, pondering my hopeless, loveless future..

-💗💗💗OMG SIS THERE YOU ARE. DONNIE AND I MADE OUT!!! 💗💗💗 But then grandma’s ghost scared him into soiling himself.

-Good for grandma, hopefully next time she gives him a stroke. Now shut up and let’s eat in silence while I ponder my hopeless, loveless future.

-Okie dokie! 💗💗💗

-Um, I think mine has vomit in it.

-Yea I did that, but it’s just whiskey and lobster, if anything it increased in value.

-Awww thanks sis! 💗💗💗

-Stop patronizing me, you little bitch. God I want to poke your eye out with this chopstick so badly.

-I love you too Shaj! 💗💗💗

And I hate both of you. Where’s your brother, I haven’t paid attention to him in 3 days.

-He went upstairs, I think he’s pusshurt we forgot his birthday LOL

IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY????

-Don’t feel bad, I forgot it too! 💗💗💗

GODDAMMIT. WULF! WULF WHERE ARE YOU

-I’m here, I just grew up and dare I say it could not have gone better!

Really?? Finally some good news! Let me look upon you-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

WULF WHAT THE FUCK

-I was Mozart musical genius boy but now I’m a sk8ter boi! Character development!

Ok this is the most iconic birthday look since Gunther grew up in the pirate costume, we’re obviously keeping it.

-Great! And as if the fact I’m a Wyatt face template with 0 Jojo genes wasn’t enough to make me unelectable, I also rolled family! :D I’m doing everything I can to ensure I live that sweet motherlode spare life!

Honestly you should had picked another outfit cause now that you’re dressed like this I unironically want you to win. Hoisted with your own petard.

#gen 2

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