#so his ex might have more chance of just being some cishet dude. idk i dont know him
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matoitech Ā· 1 year ago
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finally got enough ideas formed for these characters whose basic things have been sloshing around in my brain for a couple months to try and design them enough to introduce them today. also i wanted to design another lion. this is dominic and his daughter carmen! i wanted art of them interacting in this post but ive spent like five hours staring at my laptop so expect it some other time lol
little fun tag i want to add onto this, it occurred to me while deciding on carmens species and i talked abt it w averi cuz it was an interesting concept to me; hybrid animals are named using the first half of the fathers name, but carmen has two biological fathers ('fathers' only technically since only ones her DAD and present in her life), so out of her choices she calls herself a liger instead of a tigon bcuz her tiger parent wasnt involved and it would be confusing to random ppl if her dad and her didnt use it lol. the times she did meet him were probably like chance run-ins dominic had with him while she was there
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dredshirtroberts Ā· 5 years ago
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Best buckle up buttercupz cause this bout to get splodie
Everything will be under a cut because there is high probability this gets TMI really fuckinā€™ quick and yā€™all donā€™t need that in your lives unless you really give that much of a shit about my bedroom activities.
As those who have been with me previously know, this is all stream of consciousness and also apparently my brain has forgotten most spelling rules so if shit starts not looking like words, itā€™s not you i promise.
.
I honestly donā€™t know where to start with this one. Iā€™ve got...a lot of things to go over.
So. If youā€™ve been following my adventures as of late, I decided to follow a whim and go with a guy I barely know up to Pittsburgh to help him get all his shit out of his old apartment and bring it back down this way close to where I live.Ā 
Things to note about this guy: I met him...uh...2??? weeks ago??? on Bumble which is Tinder but less shitty (but still kinda shitty).
Uh...maybe backing up even more???
*headdesk* oh damn this is a lot hang on.
So. End of April I finally ended things for good with my long term boyfriend. Teal deer, things did not go smoothly there and shit ended badly when I was finally able to move out at the beginning of May. There were like...2ish weeks where we were broke up and I was still living with him.
Iā€™ve had some pretty whacked out emotional responses to this upheaval. I legitimately thought he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I wantedĀ that. But he was abusive and not willing to take responsibility for his part in the end of our relationship. So that sucked, but I apparently hadnā€™t loved him in ages so that part was less painful. I have been far more broken up about losing my two boys in the end of the relationship. I legitimately feel like Iā€™ve lost my children and that fucking sucks and no one fucking understands cause 1) theyā€™re cats and 2) no one i know has done this and had to leave their babies, they usually got to keep their babies. and thatā€™s fucking...
ANYWAY.
About a month? ish ago? I decide fuck it I think I can handle brief and casual attachments so I can have regular sex for the first time in YEARS. cause of course we move in together and the well dries up completely so like, that was not fun. Have a high sex drive and apparently he did not. Anyway, having fun meeting dudes, casual sex and figuring out how to navigate single life and hookup culture.Ā 
There are a couple guys who are prospective long term candidates but like...idek if thatā€™s what I want out of any of this??? because Iā€™m still healing? and trying to keep my feet up underneath me in more than a few ways. Iā€™m also trying to keep my trauma on the DL cause itā€™s really fucking easy for people to take advantage of me and my issues - itā€™s kind of how I keep getting into shit relationship situations.
So, like. Tinder and Bumble are fun because I forget that itā€™s meant to be for meeting people? I just like being super shallow andĀ ā€œsortingā€ my choices intoĀ ā€œyeah I could see having a connection with that oneā€ andĀ ā€œabsolutely the fuck notā€. Iā€™m 27 and kind of a terrible person on the inside. I overcompensate by being a fucking kindness deathray so i think thereā€™s balance maybe.
Dude comes across my bumble and the fun thing with bumble is if youā€™re showing as W4M on there, you get to initiate contact. Which is terrifying at first until you realize you literally only have to say hi. So yeah, dude is hella cute, profile doesnā€™t suck, I swipe like (right, I think?). Itā€™s a match! I open with a simple hi. basic chitchat, whatever.
we go out for a date to a location close by that I actually trust because oh hey heā€™s moving down this way and has good taste in bars. Food and drinks are had. Take him back to mine cause like, heā€™s fuckin GORGEOUS. and funny. and smart.Ā 
And heā€™s likeĀ ā€œyeah Iā€™ll spend the night, but I wonā€™t fuck you til weā€™re sobered up.ā€ Which, i mean, be still my beating heart, yeah? (I WARNED you this was going to be TMI yā€™all. if this is already too much I totes get it, itā€™s likely not going to be any better further on). So we go to sleep, and maybe I have a hard time sleepign but Iā€™ve *had* a hard time sleeping. We wake up, do the sexing, and then he buys me coffee. Like, not only did he pay for the entire date the night before, tell me he will not have sex with me while thereā€™s a chance i might be drunk, is just fucking...amazing in bed, but he BUYS ME COFFEE.
So like, alright, this is one Iā€™ll keep around for a while cause Iā€™m doing casual shit, yeah? nothing serious, nothing with attachments. no strings. just free food and sex.
Oh and did I mention heā€™s a cuddler???? but like? a cuddler that cuddles the way I like cuddling???? do you *know* how hard it is to find that??? Iā€™m apparently very specific in my cuddle preferences.Ā 
So whatever, we exchange numbers (which I do not do with people from these apps until Iā€™m comfortable with them). Heā€™s also got multiple girls heā€™s seeing right now and thatā€™s totally chill and like, itā€™s clear nothingā€™s going to go quickly here, just fun.
Talking - heā€™s very clever and does the sentence making doing well. He and one of the other girls heā€™s seeing goes up to P-burgh to begin the great migration, he calls me while heā€™s out there, and heā€™s got some shit going on in his life and Iā€™m like, thatā€™s some drama youā€™ve got there. Itā€™s shitty for you, hope it gets better, yeah? They come back down, and he drops by to hang out and grab some of the shit he left at mines. Heā€™s waiting to get into his new place nearby, and he needs a place to stash his stuff and I have a relatively safely located appartment so Iā€™m like. I think I got a corner for some shit. Then heā€™s likeĀ ā€œhey, wanna go to [area heā€™s moving to where his parents also live]ā€ and Iā€™m like, sure. Iā€™m down for a quick road trip.
weā€™re out that way and heā€™s likeĀ ā€œHey thereā€™s this park this way and thereā€™s a lodge or whatever I think youā€™ll likeā€ and Iā€m like,Ā ā€œk I like parks!ā€ and as we travel out and heā€™s telling me about it Iā€™m realizing this is not like...slide and swingset park, this is national park style stuff. And Iā€™m likeĀ ā€˜Oh shiiiit I know where weā€™re going heā€™s right I do like it!ā€™ we get out there and itā€™s rainy but we hike a little for s&gs, and then heā€™s like letā€™s go inside and all the sudden weā€™re getting a room for the night???? and this is not your mommaā€™s motor-hotel on the side of the road, this is a kinda swanky lodge and iā€™m like???? okay???? wish iā€™d known or iā€™da packed better for an overnight???
so like...yeah I have a great time, itā€™s beautifulĀ out there. Like...idk if any of you are familiar with the Blue Ridge Mountains, but the fuckinā€™...the ParkwayĀ yā€™all. Is one of my favorite places to be and this is right the fuck there and itā€™s great. The weatherā€™s nice, the food is delicious, clearly I enjoy the company, I have a blast.
We stay the night, get up in the morning and head back to mine and we chill for a minute and I change clothes cause eww iā€™m wearing clothes Iā€™ve hiked in. I get comfy and ready for a nice day chillin at home. And heā€™s likeĀ ā€œSo. Wanna come up to Pittsburgh with me?ā€ Iā€™m now Iā€™m familiar with his planning methods which are none. So i figure itā€™s a quick overnight, maybe 2 nights and Iā€™m likeĀ ā€œFuck it, sure.ā€ I pack a little better but Iā€™m wearing my contacts and Iā€™m likeĀ ā€œI can totallyĀ sleep in these a couple nights and be fineā€ and I just kinda...am in his car on a 7+hr drive to Pennsylvania.Ā 
And heā€™s really easy to get along with. Of course for some reason my period just shows up 3 weeks early out of fucking nowhere which put a little damper on shit but I didnā€™t have to worry because we werenā€™t only spending a couple nights up there. We spent nearly a week up there for...reeaassoonnnns?????
I wait til day 3 and Iā€™m likeĀ ā€œSo...uh, idk if you know this but I had no idea weā€™d be up here this long or iā€™d have brought another outfit? and some toiletries?ā€ And he is like...Ā ā€œUm...I didnā€™t mean to like, abduct you or anything. do you need me to take you back???ā€ To which I respond that all I want is an idea of how long heā€™s planning on being up there so i can best make adjustments where necessary and that the only date I *have* to be back for is my sisterā€™s bday which is Friday.Ā 
This is all fine and we work it out, but I realize that he doesnā€™t doĀ ā€œplanningā€ apparently. So I get really good at being proactive with trying to figure out what his expectations are.
Heā€™s your typical 28yo white cishet dude. You know what Iā€™m talking about, so some of the stuff I expressed concerns with, I am trying to temper with the fact that heā€™s literally just as dumb about the world as my dad is and my dadā€™s a decent person - an idiot about how the world actually works but a decent person.Ā 
And like? Itā€™s really annoying being near him because he does everything the way I specifically like it? And I never said a damn thing??? because I donā€™t talk about my particular eccentricities wrt my preferences in how i like being touched/shown affection/cuddled? So he wouldnā€™t know???Ā 
Really fucking annoying cause Iā€™m trying very hard to make it so my heart doesnā€™t take over when Iā€™m really trying hard to be chill and casual and clearly he is just wanting to be casual and shit but then he says things? and itā€™s like...so off-handed and flip but gives my heart the flutters because?? maybe thereā€™s more than just a small potential?
I get real tetchy on my period and put up with a lot less, i was also less than properly medicated so that did not help, but like...I never got to the point I used to get to with my exes where I just...couldnā€™t handle being around them or their normal ass selves. This guy does things that are annoying sure, and I had less patience for it than normal and then like 2 seconds later heā€™s literally out of one of my romantic fantasies about how i would like the perfect guy to treat me? and be around me?Ā 
*sigh*Ā 
Anyway, I had a great time in Pittsburgh cause Iā€™d never been and he found my weakness because Iā€™m a ho for some museums and art and shit and he took me to the carnegie mellon museums and let me just wander around like a doof with my jaw on the floor the whole time. Also we did some other stuff and he took me to Fallingwater which was like an hour or so away from P-burgh but was soooo cooooool.
Oh and I didnā€™t even mention the real kicker in all of this. He *gets* what iā€™m going through because heā€™s been in my shoes previously and itā€™s fucking mindblowing so he knows what to say and how to do the nice? and like???
ITā€™S NOT FUCKING FAIR Iā€™M NOT READY FOR THIS SHIT HEART. YOU GOTTA LEAVE ME BE AND LET ME JUST APPRECIATE THAT HEā€™S PRETTY OKAY???
I hate the universe. Thanks tho, U-girl. I know you got my back.
so. Thatā€™s whatā€™s been going on. Got back home safely, heā€™s got his own place like 30mins to an hour away, easier access to the other girls heā€™s seeing right now, and I have time to properly process and catalog my thoughts before I see him again.
Cause Iā€™m gonna. Heā€™s *damn* good in bed.
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