#so high school me did have different priorities ngl

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

Hi Momma L! So my girlfriend tried to do the old TikTok trend of “if we knew each other in high school we would have dated” (spoiler alert she would have been and still is totally out of my league) so I’m curious. If you knew your girlfriend during high school do you think you guys would have dated?

It’s hard to say because my girlfriend was a champion equestrian who owned horses and played tennis. Our tax brackets wouldn’t even know each other in high school 😂

[namchyoon]

ngl jealous when people have these types of relations with their family cause as the middle daughter, i feel like im only here to be of service... they dont expect nothing from the boys at all and i want to scream my fucking lungs out. like the only reason they had me is so i could do the chores and everything else

i'm an only child and on my mom's side, i'm the oldest of all my cousins too by like 6 years+ so i think i do have pressure on me bc i'm the first child out in the world and almost done with uni when my cousins are just about to finish high school but that's mostly internal pressure or pressure from people not my family 😓 but i'm very very lucky to have a working mom who has been very clear about my education being the only priority and because my male cousins were born much later, it didn't make a difference to how i was brought up, in fact, i think it made it harder for them (study-wise, at least) :( but my mom was the oldest too and she was expected to be of service but she did it by working hard her entire life at work and with chores and i think she is so strong for that (as are you, anon!) and i think with each generation, it has gotten much better but i will always always stress on the fact that i'm VERY lucky to be born in the family that i am. i was always at sports classes or school and then went to another city and then another country for uni so i was never expected to help with the typical indian girl chores and stuff like that on vacation because i was always busy. i'm so sorry you feel that way, anon and i know how hard it can be because it happens still with my closest friends and whenever they tell me what they go through, it genuinely does fill me with so much anger because the double standards are so ridiculous and the moment i went out into society, i was subjected to them (as a girl in an extremely male-dominated field) and it's so frustrating how you have to work twice as hard for the same roles and same positions as the boys. i really do hope it gets better for you with time :(

[saintobio]

straight up. Gojo is not cut for relationships. whether it was with Sera, Utahime or Y/N, he’s just not. he puts himself first most of the time while a relationship is “Gojo and xyz” the priority.

I feel like Utahime is doing too much lmfao, behaving like a high school girl with the butterflies in her stomach and car scene. I was expecting the “gonna take my panties off cause he holding my hand” typa thing like Cassie cuz she was turned on by Nate driving 🤣😭 since you were talking about Euphoria arc.

She seems so naive tbh, the whole time i have this feeling like “oh you gonna get played so good” if Satoru ever decides to have something with her, now that he has his memories and we know how hurtful he can purposefully be, I can see him just manipulate and use those “feelings” she has been growing to hurt Y/N. Cuz technically he loves her, right? Even though they hurt each other, they still hold onto love. Honestly tho i hope he grew a bit from it and if he does have that progress of relationship with Hime, even if i don’t support it, to at least not end up like Y/N in the finale. “You used me because you wanted to hurt her…” or a thing like that, just like when Y/N found out about him using her for the merger to then divorce her. It’s going be a full cycle and the result to simply be. He’s not good for relationships.

Sera was hilarious tho. I don’t know the way she came up. it was just funny.

I don’t see how now Gojo and Y/N can ever be endgame. I know love can be strong and all. But there are circumstances a couple cannot go through and heal from. It would be endless memories haunting each other. Is she/he faithful? Is this enough? Is that good? What about our son? and all that just questions, insecurities, anxiousness that you cannot have daily in a healthy relationship.

And a legal battle for Sachiro? No way they get back together. I feel like that’s peak for a broken relationship. I mean it was for mines so maybe here i’m just projecting a bit. BUT. it’s valid tho. And tbh i’m a little surprised at it though. and that’s why i know he ain’t cut for this, he remembered all the hurt, pain, misery, crying, almost dying Y/N went through and didn’t understand why she would take the decision? It hurts him I know but what about her. Why did he not ever think about her? Instead of himself. Instead of how her separating in sny was going to repeat his trauma, his sense of loneliness, he ignored hers, her feelings, her existence for some time, her decisions. It could have been different if it wasn’t for him in general. But then again that’s how he’s characterized and it fits him.

Everyone can blame Y/N all they want right now. But the origin it’s him and only him. All these would have never happened if it wasn’t for him, his ego, and his unwillingness to heal from the trauma but aliment it and pushing it under the rug.

I don’t know if you decided to have GojoxYN endgame, i don’t know how you gonna do it if it is, cuz you got A LOT in your hands 😭 i don’t see it, but if you do, i know you gonna come up with it in a good way. <- that’s my drop of optimism.

Great chapter Saint. Haven’t wrote to you in a while. Hope you doing good. Have a good one 💙💙

Oh BTW in OLAL I loved it, i didn’t find time to write about it. but it was great.

The whole structure, the play writing, even though it’s not a lot to work on since there’s no descriptions, you have a way with words that really gets you, i found myself crying a bit at Y/N dying.

Hated the wives, hated the child, hated Sunarin too for a bit. for not believing her after those promises, after the nights together and Y/N’s child just broke my heart. Having her believe that it was never there. Multiplying all her pain and feelings by zero and he did not even do much about it.

The way you write your Y/N is painfully good 😭💀

But ngl I was rooting for my hubby Osamu, to snatch us away 🤣🤣🤣

The moment when she died after the atrocities she went through was just a breath of relief tbh, I was torn during act 3 between Y/N dying alone or Suna dying for Y/N and for her to live but at the end remaining with the other two. which is a torture so no. But honestly idk if i was happy crying or not at her death, for her to find peace at even seeing Suna for a last time, dying in the arms of her lover, dying with peace in her heart knowing that she did have someone that loved her dearly. That considered her above everyone but was just late and misunderstood it. *chef kiss*

Great job at everything really! I also re read wastelands like last week and i’m just done, i feel numb. nothing can hurt me thanks to you 💙🤣

love reading ur take on the “gojo is not cut for relationships” argument bc it does make sense. whether or not they’ll be endgame, it’s still a long journey :((

also thank u for reading olal. contrary to ur assumptions tho, it’s actually a lot more difficult to write despite the lack of descriptions bc the language itself is very challenging + i have to make sure the dialogue in itself will be able to set the tone :(( but ty i’m rly glad u liked it <3

[bokutosworld]

night time activities with hq boys

- the little things and shenanigans that they like to do with their s/o once the world has quieted down and people have gone to sleep zzz

wc: 1.9k words, fluff, sfw. 

characters: kageyama, hinata, yamaguchi, oikawa, iwaizumi, bokuto, kuroo, ushijima, semi, atsumu!

a/n: so this was intended to be a mini hc list but i got carried away in my feels and just wrote mini scenarios for my top ten hq boys. this is self-indulgent ngl mom i love them :’) 

--

💌 he always gets asked what's the secret to his clear and smooth skin. well, the answer is you. since the two of you started living together, you've gotten kageyama on board in your nightly skincare routine. he doesn't mind it even if tsukishima and hinata tease him endlessly, something about the 'king of the court' being soft for you. as soon as he comes out from the shower, he positions himself on the edge of the bed, letting you stand between his legs as you wipe his face with a toner, followed by a moisturizer. then you'll get a sheet of face mask and put it on carefully. 'thank you, y/n,' he'd always say with a smile before pulling you to his chest, laughter echoing around the room, as you both fall on the bed.

💌 you thought your relationship with hinata wouldn't survive the long distance. but despite the thousand miles separating the both of you and the difference in timezones, he made sure to always wish you sweet dreams and good night. sometimes, he would call you in the middle of practice or while he's sitting in the train during commute. if he's lucky to have a free day, he'd call you while he's also in bed and you guys would talk non-stop, exchanging stories, saying your i love yous and i miss yous. and when you're the first one to snooze, he'd chuckle in the background, taking a few screenshots of your adorable sleeping face before saying goodnight and ending the call with a smile.

💌 one of the things that made yamaguchi fall in love with you was your love for studio ghibli films. when the topic was brought up among your friend group, he instantly whipped his head to where you were and before he knew it, his feet were bringing him to you. you were already friends so you didn't mind him joining the conversation, he was mesmerized with how you passionately talked about your love for howl's moving castle or how you talked about the nostalgic soundtrack of from up on poppy hill. the rest was history and now, five years into the relationship, watching studio ghibli films every friday night has become a tradition to both of you. oftentimes, you would find yourselves cuddled on the bed, legs entangled and arms wrapped around one another. spirited away was playing on the laptop, the light illuminates the dark room as the both of you slowly drifted to sleep. it was in moments like these that you felt overwhelmed and satisfied with the security and comfort of being with him.

💌 oikawa was spontaneous - it kept you on your toes, always wondering what kind of surprise or gimmick he has prepared for you. the day before a big presentation, you were nervous and you made sure he knew it by texting him non-stop, sending him memes that expressed what you couldn't say in words. he didn't want to say you were overreacting in fear of getting on your bad side, but he has no doubt that after spending weeks in preparation that you can ace your presentation. still, he wanted to be of help to you and he knew just how to lift your mood up. it was 2:15 am when you were woken up by the incessant ringing of your phone. you pick it up, ready to shout at whoever was on the other side when you heard his laugh, 'grab your jacket, we're getting mcdonalds.' you didn't need to be told twice, almost running down the stairs so you can get your fix of your fave happy meal. after getting takeout, he drove you to a park and laid out a blanket. you sat and enjoyed your food in peace before he mentioned something about the stars shining bright tonight, turning to you with the biggest grin on his face, 'but i have the brightest star in the world right now by my side.'

💌 iwaizumi could never see what it was about video games that you loved so much. though after dating you since high school, he's been used to being ignored, put on voicemail, and being the second priority whenever you had a console in hand. but one late night, he got curious about the new title you were playing, super smash bros, and figured he could give it a try. you were surprised when he suddenly sat on the couch and scooted closer to make room for himself. he took your extra controller and asked to play for one round. little did he know that one game became two, which became three until the both of you couldn't keep track anymore as he kept losing and asking for a rematch. when you closed the game, the sun was slowly peeking over the clouds. you kissed him on the cheek before retreating to bed 'thanks for playing with me, iwa. that was one of the best games i've had.' he wouldn't admit it but he enjoyed it too, and he was thankful that he had the following day off or he'd be nursing an insane headache at work due to lack of sleep.

💌 people thrived off of the contagious energy that bokuto radiated, and you were no stranger to that. you were all too familiar with the intoxicating feeling that one can get by being around him. being with him, living with him, there were no dull days or quiet evenings. there would be nights that he'd still be high on the adrenaline that came from winning their game, that before sleeping, bokuto would drag you up your feet and get you singing your favorite songs. he didn't need a mic, his loud voice was enough and it reverberated around the room. you'd both be laughing, stumbling over the lyrics as you danced to a silent beat. jumping up and down, you're worried that the neighbors might report you to the guards in the apartment lobby. but none of it would soon matter as he'd suddenly collapse on the bed, pulling you with him. you fall to his chest and you hear the erratic beating of his heart. he lifts your chin up to look at him and he presses a chaste kiss on your lips, 'thank you for being with me all this time.'

💌 due to the nature of his job, you'd been used to kuroo returning home almost midnight due to doing overtime. often, he'd return to a dark apartment as you'd already be tucked in bed, drifting off to a deep sleep. but tonight was different. it was 11:45 pm and when kuroo turned the knob and swung the door open, he was surprised to see you sprawled out on the floor of the living room. a mess of polaroid photos, printed stickers, papers, and craft items were beside. you greeted him with a smile, he returned it with one of his own and question fell on his lips, 'what are you doing here?' he swears he melted on the spot when you said you were making a scrapbook of your moments and milestones together. something about the idea of you collating everything - from when you went on your first date, your first kiss, your first out-of-town trip - had the butterflies in his stomach go crazy. he loosens his tie and undos the first two buttons of his shirt before joining you on the floor, looking forward to staying up all night reminiscing your memories together.

💌 as soon as you and ushijima got home from date night, he'd head straight to the kitchen to brew your favorite cup of tea while you went ahead to wash up and prepare for bed. he'd bring two cups to the room, placing yours on vanity table and his on the nightstand. when you came out of the shower, you'd go straight to your vanity to do your evening skincare, noticing the tea he had prepared and taking a sip before putting on moisturizer. ushijima would take his place behind your back, a hand resting on your shoulder as the other leaned to get your brush. he'd gently comb your hair, dragging the brush slowly over your tresses. 'is this okay? it doesn't hurt?' you'd look at his reflection in the mirror, catching his eyes and you reassure him that it's fine. silence envelopes the two of you, but it's not the awkward kind. it's the one that puts you at ease, erasing your worries as he continues his action. when he finishes, he returns the brush on its spot, turning you around to give you a kiss, 'i love you.'

💌 semi notices something was wrong when you arrived home all quiet. usually, you'd run to where he was - often in the kitchen where he was cooking food or in his mini studio where he composed songs - but tonight, you made a beeline to your shared bedroom. he follows and observes as you throw your bag on the floor before falling face first on the bed. he swears he heard you take a big sigh and takes that as his cue to prepare a warm bath for you. semi makes sure that the water temperature is just how you like it, pouring your favorite bubble soap and lighting up your favorite scented candles all over the room. when he's done, he makes his way over to you, 'come on, sweetheart. i readied a bubble bath for you.' your ears perk up hearing his words and you get up, letting him take your hand as he brought you to the bathroom. he helps you take off your clothes and assists as you sit in the tub. and just when he was about to make his leave, you grab his hand, 'i'd be a lot more comforted if you were here with me.' knowing what you meant, he nods, ridding himself of his clothes before joining and hugging you from behind. 'you're okay now, i got you.'

💌 the past few days have been unkind to you and atsumu. with him being busy with extended training and you being occupied with an insane amount of workload that came with your promotion, you didn't really have enough time to spend awake at home. and atsumu misses you and your voice. it wasn't enough for him just to cuddle up to you when sleeping as he'd always feel bad whenever he had to leave in the morning. so despite knowing that you'd get mad for getting up before the sun has risen, he shook you lightly, 'hey, wake up, i want to show you something.' you opened your eyes slowly, looking for the source of disruption of your sleep, but when you realized it was atsumu, you simply groaned before raising your arms in request from him to carry you. he complies, carrying you bridal style to the car and he speeds off to a nearby park hill. when he alerts you that you have arrived at the destination, you rub sleep off your eyes and come out of the car just in time to see the sun rising over the horizon. the scene unveiling right in front of the both of you was so beautiful that you were left speechless. atsumu hugs you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder and exhales, 'i missed you so much. let's take our time here, okay?' eventually, the two of you reported sick for work/practice but it was worth it.

[v-t-holmes]

1D songs rated by how much I want to hear MCR cover them

wmyb - I’m actually lowkey wondering how that would sound tbh, 7/10

gotta be you - if gerard doesn’t have the vocal range for the chorus, I would rather have him not strain himself, 2/10, but if he does, 6/10, I’m intrigued

one thing - I wouldn’t mind a cover of this one, 4/10

more than this - ooh yes, but there’s a 90% chance i’d cry, 7/10

uan - the way this song is, an mcr cover would probably sound lit, 9/10

i wish - and make me cry and drown myself in tears? 3/10

tell me a lie - change screwed up to fucked up and it’s a deal, 6/10

taken - the only reason i don’t start feeling Sad while listening to this song bc I’m so used to it, if mcr covered it i would be Ugly Sobbing, 5/10

i want - okay that would sound lit, 7/10

everything about you - okay this song is kinda boring ngl, mcr could spice things up, 9/10

same mistakes - this one already gives me existential crisis without thinking about an mcr cover, 7/10

save you tonight - I’m indifferent, it would probably sound lit tho 5/10

stole my heart - dunno if it would work as well while being sung by a guy literally the same age as my mom as it does while being sung by a (in the recording) group of boys aged between 17 and 20 - 1/10

stand up - SO PUT YOUR HANDS UP COZ IT’S A STAND UP, basically it’s an armed robbery, 5/10

moments - the subtle hinting at the fact everyone in this song dies,, fun fact that would just instantly kill me, 100000000/10, I would Cry but it would be worth it

another world - I rather would not be taken to ‘another world’ ‘every day’ ‘in every way’ by mcr, thank you very much 0/10

na na na - the cover would be worth it just for the title confusion, so yes, yes please, 10/10

i should have kissed you - the regret in the original’s is not Expressed At All, 7/10, fuck me up mcr

lwwy - i mean it would probably sound good, but lets be real, mcr doesn’t exactly fit the vibe of this song, 4/10, just because it lowkey has danger days vibes (i listened to it three times in a row before, I know what vibes danger days has)

kiss you - i’m torn between the fact that this is targeted at teen girls and sang by barely not underage anymore boys, and the fact the cover would probably sound lit 5/10

little things - it’s,,, too soft for mcr,,, 0/10

c’mon c’mon - eh, I’m indifferent to that one, 5/10

last first kiss - this one gives me an existential crisis and makes me Sad already, 8/10

heart attack - just for the ow! part, and also for the 1D just doesn’t do emotions right in this one, 7/10

rock me - in summer ‘09, they were literal babies, I’m fairly certain 16 year old harry styles did NOT fuck, mcr did shit other than going to school in 2009, and they probably fucked and this song is just one big innuendo, 7/10

change my mind - ah another song that would probably make me cry, 6/10

i would - idk, a song about high school drama? 1/10

over again - stabbing me would be more merciful than an mcr cover, 10/10

back for you - this one hits differently when you hear 1D promising they’ll come back for the fandom, And with the reunion rumours going around, it wouldn’t sound right if mcr did a cover, 2/10

they don’t know about us - unlike the original, it would make me cry, because it remind me of my gf, 3/10, covers of songs that remind me of my gf that would make me cry are illegal

summer love - the 1D version didn’t kill me, but the mcr version definitely would, 5/10

she’s not afraid - I’m actually kinda curious about what the cover would sound like, 8/10

loved you first - another one I kinda want to hear mcr’s cover of, 7/10

nobody compares - this one is either boring or it’s getting late, either way, mcr would spice it up, 7/10

still the one - it’s a bop already, 5/10

truly madly deeply - soft and tender and,,, can mcr do soft and tender? I mean, probably, but their songs that sound soft and tender end up in people in the song dying, 2/10

magic -THERE’S A 99.99999% CHANCE THE MCR COVER WOULD BE LIT, 219833/10

irresistible - mcr’s cover would make me cry and i’d thank them 8/10

bse - despite the title, not the best song ever out there (home is the best), and mcr could definitely improve it, 8/10

soml - the chorus starts, but with more SCREAMING, 8/10, sometimes you just want a soft song to have more yelling

diana - could be good, but really, I’m indifferent to it, 5/10

midnight memories - the fact 1D says 'same old shhh' instead of 'same old shit' is so unsatisfying, mcr would fix that, 10/10

you & i - yeah, just make me cry or whatever, 6/10, I’m already feeling like a trainwreck

don’t forget where you belong - that would be nice but it would also make me cry, 7/10

strong - the intro keeps reminding me one of the mcr songs and idk which one, probably famous last words, and it’s bothering me, 5/10

happily - I have no objections to this one, 9/10

right now - it would probably make me cry too much to handle, 2/10

little black dress - I’m kinda curious about this one honestly, it’s already a lot more rock than some other songs and I wouldn’t mind a cover, 6/10

through the dark - idk why, but I would definitely pay for an mcr version of this song, 10/10

something great - this one already gives me Feelings, I don’t think I could handle the mcr cover, 1/10

little white lies - it’s an okay song but really, I don’t need an mcr cover of it, 0/10

better than words - mcr wouldn’t censor fuck, 5/10

why don’t we go there - i’m actually running out of ideas of how to express what I want to say about this song, but basically, it would sound good but I don’t think it’s on the priority list, 2/10

does he know - i learnt that gerard is the same age as my mom so I legally can’t listen to him sing about sex while addressing the listener like that, 0/10

alive - it would be a headbanger, 10/10

half a heart - and make me cry even more than I cry while listening to the original? 2/10

steal my girl - not really something I’d want or need covered by mcr -10/10

ready to run - this song made me make this post, a clear 10/10

where do broken hearts go - I mean I’d probably cry, but I’d love to hear a cover, 7/10

18 - it makes me feel similar as songs from bullets or three cheers do, but on the other hand, this song already makes me sad and is crying so much I fill the ocean with my tears worth it? 5/10, probably

girl almighty - it would probably sound fun, I wouldn’t mind there being a cover, 5/10

fool’s gold - do you want me to cry? because that’s how to make me cry, no but also please/10

night changes - an existential crisis sounds nice in these trying times (not), 3/10

no control - it would be okay, I guess, 3/10

fireproof - why not, 5/10

spaces - another one presumably about the break up, it just wouldn’t Hit the same if mcr covered it, 2/10

stockholm syndrome - oh, please, that sounds like it would make a lit cover, 8/10

clouds - why tf not, I’d love to hear what mcr would do with it, 9/10, fuck me up

change your ticket - I can’t think about this song without thinking about that one tik tok where 1D members pop up in the girl’s room when their parts start, imagine that with mcr, I would scream (in a not good way), 0/10

illusion - I wouldn’t mind a cover, but really I don’t know what I’d do with it, 1/10

once in a lifetime - this song already makes me cry, I wouldn’t be able to handle an mcr cover, 3/10

act my age - heheh why not, it would make a fun cover, 8/10

hey angel - I wouldn’t mind a cover, so why not, 6/10 (would I cry? you can’t prove anything)

drag me down - I can see it being a good cover now that I think of it, 8/10

perfect - kinda curious how that would sound, 8/10

infinity - only if mcr is willing to pay for and play at my funeral, 8/10

end of the day - I wouldn’t mind an mcr cover if this one, but mostly I’m just indifferent, 5/10

if i could fly - the intro is too similar to cancer, and the original already makes me Cry, i would straight up get dehydrated and die from mcrying, but also, please 9/10

long way down - more mcrying, a whole party, 7/10

never enough - the cover would be probably pretty good, 6/10

olivia - it’s already a fun song to listen to, I wonder what the cower would sound like, 7/10

what a feeling - it has the potential to make me cry, 7/10, also it hits different in these times

love you goodbye - wanna see if they can be as tender as 1D is with this song,, 6/10

i want to write you a song - i don’t dare sending my gf mcr songs with the caption ‘that made me think of you’ in fear of the song having undertones of murder, collective death, nuclear winter or other dying stuff I haven’t noticed yet, this song is too soft, sorry mcr -10/10

history - it would most likely sound good, but it has a sentimental value that mcr just wouldn’t be able to capture, 1/10

temporary fix - HECK YES, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SONG THAT WOULD SOUND GREAT AS AN MCR COVER, 475475837/10

walking in the wind - I wouldn’t mind a cover, 5/10

wolves - it would be worth it just for the confusion between this song and house of wolves in search results, 10/10, bc i enjoy chaos

am - the original is soft and there’s really barely any instrumental background for most of the song other than acoustic guitar, so I’m wondering what mcr would do with it, 6/10

home - how much do I have to pay to hear mcr cover that one? 1000/10, it’s my fav 1D song

[fameplagued]

❛ harry styles, 21, cismale, he/him ❜ was that EZRA WARD i just saw hurrying across the quad? you’d think they would know what happens when a JUNIOR is late to class. then again, the MUSIC MAJOR has been known to be pretty HEDONISTIC. maybe being so CHARISMATIC helps keep them out of trouble. i heard they aren’t an angel, though, and that they are BISEXUAL and love RISKY/PUBLIC SEX + MAKING AMATEUR PORN. 

ayyye friends, i’m happy to be here! i’m g, here to introduce my ugly son, he’s a mix of a few different characters i’ve played before but never quite like this so i’m hype :~) 

VISAGE: HARRY STYLES (MOSTLY CIRCA LATE 2014 & 2015 bc long hair)

VOICE-CLAIM (SPEAKING ACCENT & SINGING): HARRY STYLES

OTHER KINKS: CHOKING, ORGASM CONTROL/DENIAL, BEGGING, WORSHIP (REC)(GIV), PUNISHMENT + REWARD, ANAL, SPANKING, MARKING, BITING, HAIR PULLING, RIMMING (REC)(GIV), DADDY KINK, SIZE DIFFERENCE, VOYEURISM,  CLOTHES ON, GROUP SEX, SEXUAL PAIN, ORDERS (REC)(GIV), 

(ASK ABOUT OTHERS)

CANON TATTOOS (*MOSTLY)

born / raised just outside of manchester, england. comes from a wealthy yet extremely neglectful upbringing. his mother is english, his father is american, meaning since he was born in england, he’s of of dual citizenship. his family moved to his father’s home state of pennsylvania when he was 14, which is when he first starter his youtube channel

ok so a big thing is that ezra’s slow but currently steady rise to fame within the music industry has been alarmingly quick and that fact has shaped a lot of his personality; think justin bieber or shawn mendes with their gaining an initial fanbase and then a loyal following via starting out on youtube / other social media outlets as a young teenager, only with a much messier, Rockstar™ persona and you have ezra ward

there’s a pretty distinct difference between the version of himself that much of his dedicated fanbase perceptions are based on, and the Real Him. in the media he’s gradually becoming more of a household name for being a musician with a mostly positive message, an inclusive fanbase, a charming personality and being an all around humble, approachable, likable young guy

in his personal life, things are a bit,, different. he’s a hedonist, through and through, in that his pursuit of pleasure ranks far above everything else on his priority list. he’s also extremely sybaritic meaning crazy self indulgent when it comes to luxury, and in his late teens when he had the world at his fingertips, it was all about having the Best everything (mini bars, expensive cars, the good champagne, n private planes- ok i’ll shut up now no one needs my bad 1d references rn)

so basically he spent ages 17-19 as a touring musician after forming a backing band built of some his closest friends from high school, all the while earning his associates in arts in music through an online program; balancing social media as a full time job, getting to perform live in any kind of larger capacity, and still doing well in college posed quite a challenge, especially as he became more focused on the rockstar lifestyle and less on school

still, he never stopped wanting to learn as much as he possibly could about music, determined to become a master of his craft, so he earned his degree and kept hungry for knowledge. after a near-overdose the summer after he turned 19 however, his parents and their what felt to him like faux-concern at the time eventually talked him into putting touring and gaining celebrity status on the back burner for a while

in exchange for a proposed change in habits and lifestyle, they offered to pay for him to apply for and attend the prestigious university of his choice so he could get his bachelor’s degree in music theory, something he agreed to after heavy deliberation, and only after he had a personal realization about just how much the limelight was getting to him, the brighter it became did he decide it was for the best that he stepped back from it to focus on school

choosing college over touring /  growing the band’s popularity cost him a few members of his backing band / friends who had no interest in ‘waiting around for him to finish getting some stupid degree’ and went on to pursue other projects, which meant he no longer had the same support system in that group of friends that he’d become so used to, and that lead him to seek out a new one almost as soon as he was enrolled at northridge as a freshman: he immediately pledged omega pi  (bc we all know what a frat boy harry looked like at 19, hello, i’m not passing that up), finding that he fit right in with its reputation for being full of guys who were heavily focused on partying, and now that he’s a junior he’s in charge of marketing & recruitment :~)

his appetite for pleasure & luxury coupled with still considering himself a rich, successful musician and just being an incredibly sexually fueled person in general makes for a really delicious and dangerous mix ngl and so far in his 21 short years he’s lived a pretty Wildt life, even while at college

he hasn’t released anything music-wise for the couple of years he’s been at university, but he wants 22 (he turns that soon hi he’s an aquarius ass bitch) to be the year that changes, where he delves back into it and truly becomes the artist he was ~destined to be~ or whateva

frequently considers whether or not he made the right choice in essentially choosing college over being an artist / celebrity for the time being, and wonders if dropping out would be the better option (esp bc he thinks he only has so much Time anyway, more info below), but always talks himself out of it

is Firmly Set on the idea he’s going to be part of the 27 club (my boi is already almost 22 like :/ excuse u sir, snap out of that? someone give him a reason to live lmfao no i’m kidding i promise)

has an underlying hopelessly romantic side / has had a lot of either toxic or very intense relationships / has hurt & been hurt by a lot of people, so he has an extreme aversion to emotional attachment and falling in love / prefers casual sex / thinks he’ll never have a long term relationship again (yikes ik like hi get some therapy babe)

he’s reckless, impulsive, can be incredibly domineering, drinks too much, fucks too much (if that’s possible), and (drugs tw) does way too much coke for fun and too much adderall for studying, definitely every bit the ~tortured artist~ even though most of his issues are rooted in like, mommy/daddy issues and (homophobia tw) knowing his parents wouldn’t accept or support him any longer if they knew that he was bisexual

to sum it all up, he’s here for a good time, not a long time, and while he is here, he wants to learn all that he possibly can about music because to him it’s basically the meaning of life ok

that’s?? pretty much all i have for now, i will probably update this again at some point but i don’t want to make it too long because i definitely want to develop him within this group as i go along and besides it was just TIME for me to get something up

i’ll have a connections page up soon but some ideas off the top of my head are: best friends (platonic or otherwise), fwb, exes on good or bad terms, someone who also grew up in pennsylvania / maybe knows him from high school?, enemies w/ benefits, hookups via sorority/frat parties, professors he’s earned ~extra credit~ with or whateva, someone who was a fan before he came to northridge but now they lowkey hate him, someone who’s still a fan, fwb ft. one-sided crush, classmates, etc ! 

[iamconstantine]

RWBY V2 E7: Dance Dance Infiltration

* I see you Ironwood. I see you. * Hiding at the Punch Bowl: a summary of both of the proms I’ve been to * Thank goodness Jaune actually showed up I want him to have fun * Did Neptune turn her DOWN? * “She had too much to focus on to worry about boys” okay either A) she just changed her mind the second he said yes? or B) shes lying and he for real turned her down * The acted laughter is weak with this one... * Jaune do not throw hands Jaune do not throw hands Jaune do not throw hands Jaune do not throw hands Jaune do not throw hands Jaune do not throw hands Jaune do not th

* How come some characters have cel shaded hair and some of them don’t? Is cel-shaded hair harder to animate? * lady in reeeeeeeeed...~ * thank goodness he’s finally getting his priorities straight. Let all your other friends who are having a good time keep going and focus on the one who’s sad * I feel so friggin bad for Pyrrha not having a date because she wanted Jaune to ask her out but I also can’t stop laughing cause: “Where is the guy?”

* Normally the angst of “Everyone thinks I’m too good for them” would come off as whiny or self-centered but it’s good the show is showing that it isn’t. Pyrrha is by NO MEANS whiny or self-centered. She’s very likely the best student Beacon has and because of that people have stopped seeing her as a person. She’s like the uber popular person everyone loved in high school you always wanted to hang out with but never had the nerve to ask. * “That’s what I like about you” MY HEART * (you hold me tight) * boy howdy call me a lollipop because I am a sucker for “over-glorified celebrity surrounded by people who only care about their fame and talent and not them as a person meets and falls in love with someone who sees them for them” * “You’re the kind of guy I wish I was here with” Jaune. She has said it. Point-blank. PLEASE don’t be oblivious about this. * At the same time I can’t help but feel there’s some shade-throwing here for him not asking her out * “Do you even care about the girls you’re hitting on? How they feel about you?” dapocrit dipocrit i smell a hypocrite * oh my good gracious that little whimper of icantdance * (Weiss Schnee I swear on my life if I find out you said that Neptune asked you out and you turned him down because you “didn’t have time for boys” when he actually turned YOU down because of this reason and you were too embarrassed to say what actually happened...) * or...wait, did he ask HER not to tell anyone? * Congratulations on the maturity Jaune * “don’t lie to my face” have I mentioned that Jaune is me and I am Jaune?

* You know what? Forget what I said about the girls’ dresses needing more diversity. Every guy here is wearing the exact same tux with different piping * 50% of me: Why is Penny here? Why would she be allowed to attend a school dance if she’s a WOMD? Other 50% of me: DANCE WITH HER. SOMEONE DANCE WITH HER. * Weiss’s tiny little scoot closer to Neptune haha

* my HEAAAAAARRRRRRT

* Jaune really did just pull her to him like a suave mofo didn’t he? * Also Jaune is way more jacked than I would’ve thought * here * we * go * yep. this is happening. and im okay with this. * Jaune has seven sisters. Noice. * girls in the crowd are giving him SERIOUS heart eyes right now * I’ll be honest and say that I don’t really ship White Knight (I think that’s the ship name for Weiss x Jaune?) but I am more than 100% down for them becoming the best of friends * and then

* there’s these assholes * “We should probably be home by midnight, to be safe” You know I was wondering when they were actually going to do any kind of mythology reference with Cinder being based on Cinderella but nothing could have prepared me for this * Eeeeeeeesh sorry but that animation of her running on the roof was not good. * why the catwoman suit, though? * Aaaaand the swinging butt shot * okay nvm the catsuit is lit. like in both senses of the word. * Her mask appears and disappears; not sure how that kind of animation error happens * COULD THEY ALWAYS ROCKET THEIR WEAPONS TO THEM?! DID I MISS SOMETHING? * RUBY CALL YOUR TEAMMATES NOT YOUR WEAPON * “Guess the ~general’s~ had enough ~fun~ for one night. Should we intervene?” what are you going to do quicksilver. you gonna kick him? you gonna kick a general? that’s all you can do so you gonna kick a general?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6SYrzgvi00

* Ruby lose the heels. like i dont want to call you a dumbass but... * yes, Ironwood!! * No, Ironwood!! * ngl that dress is gorgeous * “should we be ~worried~?” you should always be worried considering you got nothing but your twig legs to run in case something goes wrong * you’re not dancing. you’re not dancing, you’re just standing ther--YOU LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN USE YOUR LEGS TO DANCE YOU USELESS BITCH. * Pls tell me Ironwood won’t actually think RUBY is responsible?! * The “heads” line and the chess symbol makes me wonder if Cinder is also sort of the Red Queen? Or is she working for her?

[duckling-duck-duck]

Midnight Sun Review, Chapter 1: First Sight (Why am I doing this?)

Hello people and welcome to my side blog specifically dedicated to my thoughts, feeling and opinions on Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer. It’s not like I have anything better to do at the moment (studying for exams, a semester to prepare for, friendships to cultivate) so let’s get to it!

Before I get started on informing you of said thoughts, feelings and opinions, here are a few disclaimers and other things you should probably know to follow my thought process and that will likely have an influence both on my reading experience and view of this book. For my inspiration for this undertaking, you all can thank both Hannah Lee Kidder for her excellent rewrites of the first book on YouTube (she is awesome, go check her out) and Strange Aeons for her video review of Midnight Sun, which I would also highly recommend.

When I heard that Stephenie Meyer (from now on referred to as SM, yes) finally was going to publish this mysterious thing that was circulating when I was barely a teenager and just starting my Twilight phase, and still seriously interested in the books, I was both over the moon and very apprehensive. And I knew immediately that I was going to buy and read it, no matter how bad or good it was going to be.

This YA fiction series was a huge part of my early formative years. At the time when I first read it, I was still too young to thoroughly grasp some of the more problematic concepts of the story, which has since changed. It got me into vampires, to an obsessive and, frankly, unhealthy amount. I subsequently read literature that was NOT for the eyes of a thirteen-year-old at the time and at the same time much worse fanfiction.

Another probably important thing is that I did not read the original Twilight series in English, but rather in German, which means that some things I may remember differently due to translation. I included this because the way Germans translate English in books is atrocious. I have never re-read the books after I read them for the first time, only watched the movies a couple of times since, mostly to make fun of them, this time in English. When the fourth movie came out, I was already mostly over Twilight again and just went to the theatre with my best friend for the hell of it. The only characters I was invested in at this point were the side characters, like Jasper, Rosalie, Leah Clearwater and, basically, anyone and everyone that wasn’t Edward, Bella and Jacob (mostly because everyone else had a much more compelling storyline). So please bear that in mind when I rip into this book. I will also probably be biased in favour of these characters.

This brings me to my last but probably the most important point: I had no interest in Edward and Bella and mostly wanted to know what kind of mess they ended up in this time. I made fun of them a lot. The older I got, the more of the unhealthy tendencies I recognized. So, this is my official warning for everyone who is genuinely interested in this book and wants to read it for fun and came across this post by accident: It will not be nice. I will probably not be kind. I like sarcasm and am not afraid to utilize it to get across exactly how dumb, deranged or practically pointless I think something is. I like to think I can give credit where it is due, but this is probably not the blog or post for you.

I will include trigger warnings if necessary, but if I miss anything please do not hesitate to let me know and/or stop reading immediately if it makes you uncomfortable. I am open to discussion and criticism, but please remain civil. And now that introduction has gone on for far too long, so please enjoy.

Chapter Summary: What happened?

We start with Edward in class having an existential crisis which seems to be his default state. He comments on his siblings, reducing them to absolute tropes which anyone who has read the original series later knows is not at all what and/or who they are. Practically anyone is more interesting than him, though that is not a high bar. Then we have lunch period (still wild you have that) where everyone else is thinking of the new girl who is still nothing amazing to him. Edward spews some vapid comments about everyone else in school (the word “children” comes to mind and is frequently used) and is very amused that particularly the female population, except for Angela, seems to be interested in him. After that, we get the famous biology scene from a whole other point of view and boy is it enjoyable! We end the chapter with Edward going to Alaska because otherwise he may or may not break into Charlie’s house to kill the daughter of the chief of police. (I rewrote this summary like, five times and still cannot make it less sarcastic. I apologize.) (#sorrynotsorry)

Warnings: Swearing, a lot. Explicit language. Too many parentheses. Slight description of violence. A lot of talk about murder.

It took me two evenings getting through this first chapter (25 pages total) and I am not going to lie: On the first one, I barely managed to make it 5 pages in before I had to stop and lie down and mentally prepare myself for the things that were to come. And lord, did they come!

If you thought being stuck in Bella’s mind was exhausting, welcome to a new level of it. Because Edward is even more self-deprecating than she is. He literally describes his basically vegetative state as purgatory because high school is just that boring. Granted, it sometimes is, but why even is he in high school then? As mentioned later he has 2 doctorate degrees. Could you just not go to university and study something that you haven’t learned yet? If Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper can pass as seniors (and you have to excuse me, but I know practically nothing of the American school system) then I am sure you can pull some kind of ‘gifted’ scheme to put Edward in either advanced classes or have him skip a few years. And fake a High School diploma. Another question: if he has two doctorates, why doesn’t he do something with them? You could apply your mind and focus on other things, like research, furthering humanity, curing cancer! (On that note: why has Carlisle not tried to do that? Just because you need to fly under the radar? There has got to be something you can do, both with your excessive money and apparently brilliant mind, that would benefit all of humanity that you so desperately try not to hurt. And if not personally, you can damn-well fund it or nudge someone in the right direction.)

But this doesn’t just tell us that Edward is bored out of his mind, it also tells us that he is probably unhappy with his non-life as well. In the first four sentences, we have already set the tone for the entire novel and I am contemplating a descent into alcoholism. It is gonna be excruciating to follow this dude’s mind for 756 pages because that is 755 pages too long. His entire existence revolves around making Carlisle proud and proving he still retains some of his humanity. While he sometimes talks about the love he has for his siblings, that seems more of a farce he upholds for his adoptive father (read: god) and mother, which in her case is more of a ‘can’t deal with her disappointed look’ (we all know the one), because besides Alice his opinion of them is basically ‘couldn’t be bothered to give a shit’.

(I wanted to use a gif of her but this was the first thing that popped up when I searched "rosalie" and ngl, it fits his perception of her perfectly)

Rosalie, in his opinion, is shallow, self-obsessed, and superior the everyone (“her mind was a stagnant pool with few surprises”). These two do not get along whatsoever and while this may have been my initial impression of her in Twilight it changed over time. She is more than that and it is baffling that Edward thinks of her that way even after all this time. They are familiar with each other’s stories and I find it hard to believe that he would do anything nice for her based on the initial impression we are presented within this book. Or maybe she now has almost everything she wants: a loving partner, a family, a comfortable life. Why is it so bad? She seems to be comfortable and even happy. Can Edward just not accept that other people might not despise this life as much as he does?

Emmett gets away slightly better than Rosalie, but not much. The impression I got of him from reading his paragraph is that he is an overgrown, glorified child. He has no problem with Edward reading his thoughts, specifically because he carries his heart on his sleeve and if he has something to say, he will say it to your face. He seems to be Edwards second favourite of his siblings.

His absolute favourite is Alice, because “it wasn’t easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks.” If Bella and Jasper weren’t in the picture, those two would be a couple, I swear! They are the extra special snowflakes (derogatory) among the already special snowflakes (derogatory) (So sorry!). They look out for each other; I can already tell you that they will present a united front concerning anything and everything and ask each other favours (like Alice wanting Edward to keep an eye on Jasper to make sure he doesn’t go on a murdering spree because he’s hungry).

Coincidentally, Edward is pretty mad at her for focusing on her husband/boyfriend/SO and his trip down the serial killer lane in a public high school that she, later on, doesn’t catch a glimpse of Edwards violent fantasies and his possible future with his fangs in Bella’s neck. He seems to be pretty salty about that. I get that for Edward this is probably pretty damning, especially since this is not a regular occurrence, but has the thought crossed his mind that, right now, she has other priorities? Or that this future simply will not come to pass and that is the reason she hasn’t seen it? I am not familiar with how it works in the books (like I said, ages) but in the movies sometimes she gets the visions automatically without focusing and they are dependent on a person’s intent.

Back to Jasper then. And oh, Jasper. They did my boy dirty.

Well, technically not, because he has a much harder time living among humans than the others. But SM did not have to write Edward so dismissive of his struggles. To quote: “And Jasper was … suffering. I suppressed a sigh.” If this is so hard for him, why does he have to be there at all? They can’t always count on Edward and Alice to monitor him like a toddler. It would be far more efficient to just keep him away from humans. Also, and this is something that I have snapchatted to my friends several times and no one has yet come up with a concrete answer for me: You know how half the population is female? And how there are art-classes and PE and probably a school nurse? Accidents happen (I cannot tell you how often my friend had a spontaneous nosebleed in the middle of history class) and PMS is a thing. There will be a girl on her period when Jasper hasn’t fed in a long time. He’s not gonna avoid it by any stretch of the world by being in school. Have him stay home with Esme and work more in smaller steps.

“Why flirt with disaster?” If you can say that in response to Jasper having fantasies about drinking the blood of one of his classmates which starts with what is an exhibitionist-inclined make-out, why can’t you stay away from Bella? Because let me tell you: the best scene in this chapter was Edwards’s mind working out how to best kill his entire biology class just so he can rip open the new student and afterwards he doesn’t take his advice and cannot stay the fuck away. To his credit though, he tries. For like, half a chapter.

Until that point, where he smelled her, Bella was entirely mundane and uninteresting. He’s seen her in the minds of other students and the cafeteria and the most remarkable thing about her is that he can’t read her mind. He is very dismissive of it: “Not that I would find anything worth listening to.” So yeah, she doesn’t particularly strike his fancy or frankly, his interest.

But then she steps into the airflow that full-on blows her scent into his face and I have no words, except damn! And from that on we get the seven and a half most enjoyable pages of this chapter (dare I say the whole book?), the murder fantasies. What does it say about this book that this is the best scene so far? I found it quite well written to be honest. How he changes his second plan midway through the first because there are too many instances of the others screaming for help or alerting everyone else and, most importantly, Bellas body would grow cold while he snaps about 19 necks in 5 seconds. He is, for a monster without control, very methodical in his imaginary attempts to murder his class. Him thinking he has to destroy evidence, figuring out how he could best and most efficiently go about it, ultimately not relishing the killing but seeing it as the removal of an obstacle – I am getting some serious Hannibal vibes.

Of course, the thing holding him back is Carlisle and how Edward knows that his adoptive father would forgive him for this, because “he thought I was better than I was”. Only Edward being a stubborn bitch and wanting to prove something to Carlisle keeps around 20 people alive that day.

While I think the scene is incredible, it still rubs me the wrong way in a particular aspect: Edward has a raging fang-boner (pardon my French) for Bella and has the gall to judge Jasper simply because for him that is a permanent state of being. If anything, it makes me have a lot more respect for Jasper (and we can get into the confederate army major thing another time, I am aware of that) because he hasn’t ripped open someone’s bowels. But that isn’t where I was going with this. Edward only takes an interest in Bella because she smells like ecstasy to him. Because his instincts attract him to a meal so scrumptious, he’s never gonna forget it again. What a great start for a relationship! Also, he hates her because of her scent and this somehow keeps him sane. I either do not get boys in general or Edward Cullen specifically. Probably both.

It also takes him waaay too long to stop breathing. (And I know that he uses the phrase “sinking my teeth through that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing-” to describe her neck, but I have read too much horribly/well-written E-rated fanfics on AO3 to not think of a vagina when I read this.)

And even after he has resolved to not abduct and kill the new student, he still fantasizes about doing it. Like I said, reading his fantasies is pretty enjoyable, but why did SM have to give them to us in the first chapter? Nothing in this book is gonna compare to this description ever again and I am sad about it. I know, who’d have thought?

Then we get to the part where he thinks about following her to her house because to kill her there is “the responsible way to deal with this”. Excuse me? Oh man, still really enjoyable to read, but now I am genuinely scared for Bella!

Because this is not just very detailed, but also very thought out. I am not sure if SM decided to ramp up the fear-factor for Edward because while everyone theoretically knows that he could snap a neck with his pinkie, the thirst was very much real about a decade ago and everyone just kinda glossed over the fact that Edward is a killing-machine. Not sure if Bella wouldn’t take Jacobs concerns regarding sex with a vampire while she was still human a little more seriously if she knew that was how her husband thought about her when they met. Is this supposed to entice me or turn me on? Not that it ever could in general, because Edward, but after that description, I am very much turned off, actually, and not at all receptive to this dude and want to tell Bella to run for the hills or La Push and never come back. This is, good writing aside, disturbing!

After class, he heads out in his car and listens to calming music, which he does a lot. I’ll keep tabs on how often and keep you posted. And this is where he gets angry with Alice for focusing on Jasper instead of him. To quote: “Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she’d missed this much more horrific possibility?” Well, maybe because her boyfriend has a much harder time with basically every student in the school rather than just one and is much more likely to flip his table in English and jump the teacher (and not in a fun way). And that her life doesn’t revolve around you!

As I said, the chapter ends with him speeding off into the night, because that is the only responsible choice. If you fell you it best to remove yourself from the situation, do it. But maybe stay consistent afterwards.

Good things: The description of Edwards methodical nature when planning the murders. Very well written, as well as his portrayal as a ruthless monster compared to the amped-up teenage-heartthrob-thing we got from Bellas point of view. The danger surrounding a vampire never really came through, but now it did. I actually fear for her. Very impressive writing.

Bad things: How easily and nonchalantly he tries to manipulate his way into a higher-level science class was very disturbing. How dismissive he is of almost all of his siblings and their problems or their happiness. The fact that the first feelings he had towards Bella are ambivalence and hatred.

This is gonna be unbearable, isn’t it?