#so he'd be happy to tote them around

[vivwritesfics]

"I Don't Know Anything About Dinosaurs"

Spencer was meant to be at the museum on a blind date, not walking around with a mother and son, listening to him as he spouted off dinosaur facts. But then the kid goes missing and it's Spencer's mission to save him.

Spencer x Single mother! Reader

Spencer Reid hated the thought of a blind date. He didn't know if said blind date being set up by Garcia made things better or worse. At least Garcia was a fellow need. She liked some of the things Spencer was into and hopefully knew people who were also into those things.

Their meeting place being a museum had to be a good sign, he thought as he stared up at the recreation of the Parasaurolophus skeleton. But, so far, there had been no sign of her. He looked around with the knowledge that she'd be wearing a green scarf and carrying a museum tote bag, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, somebody was tugging at his sleeve. Spencer looked down to see a boy with wild, dark curls staring up at him. "Excuse me, Mister," the boy said as he looked up at Spencer. "You're blocking the sign." Spencer looked to his left and saw that he really was blocking the sign.

Not that this little boy would be able to read it from his height. "I'm sorry," Spencer said gently as he stepped to one side.

He couldn't help but watch as this little boy walked over to the sign full of dinosaur facts. Just as Spencer had thought, he'd been too short to read it, but he stood on his tiptoes and really tried.

When the boy gave up, he turned to Spencer. "Hey Mister," he said and put his hands on his hips. "Wanna help a fella out?"

Spencer couldn't help but wonder where this kid had learnt this phrase. He looked around before he crouched down, matching the kids height. "Is your mom anywhere around here?" Spencer asked. The kid shrugged her shoulders and, suddenly, Spencer was trying not to panic. "Do you want help finding her?"

Again, the boy shrugged. "She knows where to find me," he said and turned his attention back to the dinosaur.

Spencer stayed by the kid. He looked around, searching for any sign of his mother. But nobody around him seemed like they were panicked or looking for him.

Suddenly, shouts filled the room. "Jimmy!" Somebody shouted. Spencer looked around until he saw a young woman running towards him and the kid. "Jimmy!" When she got close enough, she grabbed the boy and pulled him into her embrace.

But then she stood up straight and looked at him, her expression stern. "James L/N, you know better than to run off like that!"

Jimmy pouted as he looked at his mother. "I'm sorry, momma," he said. "I just wanted to see the dinosaurs."

Her face dropped and she ruffled his dark curls. "It's okay, baby. We can look at them together," she said softly.

Jimmy took his mothers hand, but he turned towards Spencer. Spencer, who knew everything, but didn't know why he was still standing there, watching them. "This fella was gonna help me read the sign," he said.

His mother suddenly turned to Spencer. She tightened her grip on her sons hand and placed her other on her hip as she stared at him.

Spencer jumped into action. "He, uh, he said his mother knew where to find him. I didn't want to leave him here until someone came to claim him," he explained.

She dropped the hand from her hip. "Well, thank you," she said and lifted her son up. She placed him on her hip so that he could read the sign and turned her attention to Spencer. "Do you like Hadrosaurs?" She asked as she nodded her head to the not entirely real skeleton. (Well, maybe a few bones were real, but not the whole thing.)

Spencer shook his head. "No. I'm more of a science museum guy," he answered. He didn't add that he rarely got time to visit a museum with his job.

"Well, if you wanna know anything about any of the dinosaurs, I'm sure Jimmy would be happy to answer you," she said in reply. Her smile was polite, sweet, one Spencer found he really liked looking at.

Spencer took one last look around the museum, one last look for the blind date that Garcia had set up for him. He'd mentally prepared himself for a date, mentally prepared himself to be confident and out going. He wasn't about to let that go to waste.

"I don't know anything about dinosaurs." A lie. "Do you mind if I joined you?"

That was how Spencer spent his day. If his date eventually showed up to the museum, he didn't much care. He was much happier listening to Jimmy talk about dinosaurs. For the first time in his life, Spencer bit his tongue. Jimmy rarely got any of his facts wrong, and Spencer didn't add to his knowledge base, not when he'd said he didn't know anything about dinosaurs.

Once they got back to the museum entrance, Jimmy dragged his mother to the gift shop, and Spencer was only happy to follow. When Jimmy found two soft toys that he wanted (an Ankylosaurus and a Pachycephalosaurus), Spencer helped him to decide which one he wanted.

Jimmy told Spencer everything he knew about the Ankylosaurus as they walked out of the museum. But, once they were on the steps, his mother squeezed his hand. "We've gotta go, Jim," she said softly to him.

Jimmy pouted, but then he turned to Spencer. "It was nice to meet you, Spencer," he said. "You're a nice fella."

Spencer couldn't help but grin. "Thanks for teaching me all about Dinosaurs, Jimmy," he said as he crouched down to his height. "Take good care of, Anky."

He stood up straight and looked at Jimmy's mother. "He's right," she said. "It really was nice to meet you. Thanks for being so nice to him. I don't know many other people who would walk around and let a six year old talk at them for hours."

Spencer shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. "No, I learnt a lot," he replied. Neither of them had spoken about Jimmy having a father, or his mother having a partner. There had been no ring on her finger, and the profiler could pick up no indications that she had a partner.

So, Spencer took a leap of faith. "Maybe we could do this again sometime."

Her grin only grew. "I'm sure Jimmy will find some more facts for you," she said, her hand on his sons head. But then she went fishing through her bag and pulled out her phone. "Give me your number," she said and handed him her phone.

Spencer put his number into the phone and passed it back. She typed out a text and quickly sent it to him. "Until next time, Doctor Reid," she said and walked Jimmy down the museum steps, leading him to her car.

Spencer couldn't help but watch them go.

***

The case must have been local. JJ had told them not to back an overnight bag and they all rushed to the BAU as quickly as they could.

It had only been a few days since Spencer had met Jimmy and his mother. They'd texted here and there, but they were both pretty busy with their jobs. Still, he couldn't help but think of them as the elevator took him up. After this case was done, he'd make arrangements to see them again. To find out what new dinosaur facts Jimmy had for him.

He and the rest of the team sat around the round table. Within seconds JJ was walking into the room and turning on the monitor. "James L/N has been reported missing by his mother," she said as the rest of the team passed around folders.

Spencer felt his heart stop. James. Jimmy. Reported missing by his mother. Jimmy, the sweet boy who knew so much about dinosaurs, had been reported missing. He suddenly couldn't breathe.

"His mother said she put him to bed and went to clean up the kitchen. When she checked on him before taking herself to bed, he was gone," JJ continued.

"Jimmy." Spencer couldn't stop himself from saying it.

All eyes were suddenly on him. JJ took a step towards him. "What is it, Spence?" She asked softly. She always was soft with him, almost treating him like he was a child. It wasn't what he needed right now, but he was grateful.

"I-I know this boy," he said as he flipped through the folder that was passed to him. "He, uh, his mom calls him Jimmy, not James."

"You know his mother?" Hotch asked him.

Spencer nodded. "They were at the museum last weekend. I walked around the exhibits with them," he said.

Hotch sent them on their way. He, Rossi, Prentiss, and Garcia began looking through all the information they could find on James L/N and his mother, while JJ, Reid and Morgan went to James's house.

Before this, Spencer had been wondering if he could count their time at the museum as a date. It hadn't been, really. But he wanted to take her on one, or at least get to know her better.

He couldn't believe his first time inside of her house was going to be because of a case. Spencer couldn't help but feel a little sick as he, JJ and Morgan walked up the steps to the house. There was an array of flowers in the garden. Some in pots lining the steps, some on the windows, some hanging beside the door.

Spencer raised his fist. The stained glass window panes painted a scene. Water, a clock tower, a bird flying above the ocean. Spencer sucked in a breath and knocked between the window panes.

The door was open within seconds. Jimmy's mother stared at the three ages. Morgan said her name. "We're with the-"

But, before he could finish he sentence, she threw herself at Spencer, wrapping her arms around him. Spencer stood there for a moment, unable to move. But then he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. "He's gone," she cried against Spencer's chest.

"I know," Spencer whispered, his large hand against her back. "But we're gonna find him."

JJ and Morgan hung back as they watched the interaction. It felt intimate, something they couldn't interrupt. But she let go of Spencer and stepped to the side, letting all three agents into her house.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she shut the door behind them. "I... I didn't touch anything in his room," she said as she led them upstairs. At the very first room she pushed open the door.

Morgan and JJ pulled on gloves as they stepped into the room. But it was perfectly clean. The bed was made, the room had been cleaned up, but there was no sign of a break in. "Reid, take her downstairs," Morgan said as he and JJ began combing through the room.

Spencer did just that. He took her downstairs and sat her on the sofa, sitting himself beside her. She drew in a shaky breath. "He has Anky," she said quietly and wiped at her eyes. "If I had known you were FBI I would have called you before I called the police."

He swallowed. "I'm here now," he said, meeting her teary gaze. "And I need you to tell me everything that happened, starting with when you put Jimmy to bed."

She ran Spencer through her entire evening. Starting with dinner, and then bath time, story time and bed. She told him how she cleaned the kitchen after dinner and took some time, only ten minutes to read. By the time she went up to check on him, by the time she was ready to go to sleep herself, Jimmy was gone.

When she started crying Spencer rubbed her back. There was little else he could do to offer contact as he asked as she had noticed anything or anybody strange recently. He'd already worked out that the unsub must have known her usual schedule to be able to take Jimmy and then clean his room.

Before Spencer could piece together any information from her answers, the phone began ringing. She drew in a sharp gasp as she turned her head towards it.

When she looked at Spencer again, he nodded and she picked up the phone. "H-hello?" She said, voice shaking as she put the phone on speaker.

"Hi mommy!"

Immediately, tears sprang to her eyes. "Jimmy?" She cried. "Is that you, baby?"

"Yeah, mommy," he said. He sounded fine and she had to take comfort in that.

Her hand fell onto Spencer's and she squeezed. Squeezed him to the point of pain. But Spencer didn't say anything. He squeezed her back, trying to be encouraging. "Jimmy, baby, can you tell me where you are? I-It's almost time for lunch and I need to come get you."

"I'm with a friend, mommy," Jimmy answered. "Her name is mommy, too. She said she's gonna make me lunch."

Suddenly, Spencer's brows furrowed. She. The unsub was a woman.

"Mommy, she wants to speak to you," Jimmy said. Spencer watched as her eyes went wide and she began rapidly shaking her head.

But Spencer squeezed her hand and nodded his head. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay, Jimmy, But, can you tell me where you are first, baby?"

Jimmy didn't answer her.

There was an indistinguishable noise from the other end and then, "Leave my son and I alone!"

It was a woman's voice, an obviously upset woman's voice. As the rest of the team came down the stairs Spencer pressed his fingers to his lips.

"Please," she said desperately as she looked at Spencer. "Please, just bring Jimmy home. He's all I got."

"His name isn't Jimmy!" The other woman suddenly cried. "He's my son and his name is Robert!" She ended the call after that, cutting off the contact.

Her hands shook as she put the phone down.

"His name is Robert," Spencer repeated. He said it to himself a few times as the rest of the team crowded around her to ask her more questions. Desperately, she looked at Spencer, but he pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed it to his ear.

***

Spencer didn't sleep much on this case. He couldn't, not until he knew that Jimmy was safe at home with his mother.

He had Garcia look into mothers who had lost their children. More specifically, mothers that had lost children called Robert.

The whole team tried several different angles for the case. While Morgan and JJ interviewed mothers that had lost children, Spencer and Garcia desperately searched through records of institutions.

Their lucky break was when the unsub called once again. Spencer had been there, thank god. All she had to do was call and he was running.

Garcia had set things up to trace the call. When the phone began ringing, she held her hand against her chest. "It's okay," Spencer assured her.

He picked up the phone and placed it in her hands. "Hi Mommy!"

"Jimmy!" She sat up straighter. "Jimmy, baby, are you okay?" She asked desperately.

There was a beat of silence, one that had her heartbeat erratic. "I'm okay, Mommy. I've lost Anky, though."

She swallowed. "Well, when you're home, we can go to the museum again and get you another."

"Can Spencer come with us?"

Spencer nodded at her. Of course they could go back to the museum. The moment they got Jimmy home, Spencer would take the both of them.

"Yeah, Jimmy. We can take Spencer."

Suddenly the call was ended. "Jimmy?!" She cried, desperately. But he was gone.

"Garcia, have you got it?" Spencer called down his phone as he stood.

Garcia listed off the address. Immediately Spencer was using his long legs to stride to her front door. "Wait!" She cried, rushing after him. Spencer turned, his eyes soft as he looked at her. "Bring him home."

Hotch didn't want Spencer going with them. He was too close to the case, and they all knew it wouldn't end well. But Jimmy knew him, and he was more likely to actually go with Spencer.

The team entered the house, guns drawn. With noises from the living room and the upstairs, the team split up.

Spencer and JJ headed into the living room. Cartoons played on the television, and Spencer had to hope it was Jimmy.

And Jimmy it was. "Hi Spencer!" He called the moment the FBI agent came into view.

Immediately Spencer felt his heart stop. He put his gun away and crouched down in front of Jimmy. "Hey, Buddy," he said as Jimmy hugged him. "We're gonna get you home to your mom, okay?"

"Okay," Jimmy said as Spencer picked him up.

The rest of the team arrested the unsub, a woman who had lost her child years ago. She fought to get to Jimmy when she was walked towards the police car, cuffs around her wrists.

***

Spencer held Jimmy's hand in the police station. Jimmy told Spencer more dinosaur facts. "I wanna go back to the museum," he said. "And I want you to come."

"Your mom is gonna be happy to take you," Jimmy," he said and handed him a pen. Jimmy began drawing as he waited for his mom to show up.

When she did, she ran through the police station. She ran straight over to her son and pressed kisses all over his face. She pulled away to look at him, to check him over. "Oh baby," she said and hugged him tight. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, Momma," he said and showed her his dinosaur drawings. "Can we go to the museum with Spencer, momma?"

With Spencer standing behind Jimmy, he wore a matching pout. "Can I?" He asked.

"Please Momma!"

How could she say no?

(It wasn't meant to be a first date, but the treated it as such)

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 21 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is learning firsthand just how lonely a deployment can be when he's gotten used to talking to you all the time. You are more than happy to record your daily adventures for him, including your steamy ones.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, masturbation, adult language, romantic Bradley, 18+

Length: 3700 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Your original plan to commute to work from your apartment in Mira Mesa went out the window after the box from Bradley arrived. Suddenly his place seemed cozier now that there were tidy rows of envelopes from him covering the table in the living room. You sipped a mug of coffee and looked at all of them, selecting the one that said Open me with your class.

"Whatever you say, Bradley," you murmured with a smile, tucking it into your tote bag for work. You missed your kids almost as much as you missed him, but at least you'd finally get to see them today. You just hoped there was something upbeat in the note, because you were going to have to inform them that he'd be gone until Career Day. Or maybe longer.

Opening the note that was meant for you and your class before digging into all the others just felt right. Really, he was a faithful pen pal to all nineteen of you, even if his current letters were pre-written. As you drove to work, you wondered how long it would take your students to ask about Bradley. Turns out, it didn't take too long at all.

You were standing behind your desk, getting hugs from some of the kids as they got reacquainted with each other and the classroom for the first time in almost two weeks when Jayden asked, "What did you get Lieutenant Bradshaw for Christmas?"

Images of lingerie danced in your head as you cleared your throat. "Stationery," you replied. "So he can write us letters while he's deployed."

"He's deployed?" asked Nia, face lighting up. "With Marty?"

"Can we do another drawing contest with him?" shouted Oliver, already getting colored pencils out of his desk.

"Will you ask if he's allowed to take a video while he's flying this time?" Violet asked calmly.

"Actually," you replied, walking slowly to the front of the room with a single envelope in your hands, "we can't do any of those things. He's not allowed to communicate with anyone who isn't on the aircraft carrier this time around. If he writes to us, he'll have to save the letters until he returns."

Everyone stared blankly at you. 

Jackie raised her hand. When you pointed to her, she said, "But we're not like random people. We're students of aviation. We're his pen pals."

"Yeah!" came a chorus of voices, and you were half tempted to write up a petition to the Navy for all of them to sign.

You had to clap your hands and wait for them to clap in response after they all quieted down again. "I have a note that he wants me to open with you. Should we do that now?"

After literally everyone agreed that was a good idea, you opened it and found a handwritten link to a YouTube video followed by a short note that you read out loud.

"Greetings, Fourth Graders,

By the time you read this, it will be January, and I'll be on an aircraft carrier in the Atlantic Ocean for a seven week deployment. I'm sure your lovely teacher has explained that sending and receiving letters is sadly not a possibility for me right now. I'm going to need you to keep track of all your questions about aviation until I get back for Career Day next month. I'll bring some of my friends along, and we can answer them for you then. Sound good?

Make sure you listen to your teacher, and I'll see you all in February.

Yours Truly,

Lieutenant Bradshaw"

You looked up from the notecard and added, "He also included a link to a YouTube video. Should we check it out now?"

It was actually amazing how quietly they all sat in anticipation while you set up your projector and typed out the link. When you turned out the lights, you had to grab onto the edge of your desk as Bradley's face and voice filled your classroom, even though he wasn't actually there. The twenty minute video began with him sitting on his living room couch in his worn out jeans and the Top Gun shirt you wore to bed last night, and you realized he must have filmed this on Christmas Eve when you were out with Natasha.

"Hi, everyone," said video Bradley as he waved to his phone camera. "I thought I would try my hand at a little lesson on aviation so your teacher could get a break. Make sure you take notes. There will be a quiz the next time I see you."

All of your students were watching him with rapt attention and pencils poised over their notebooks. Bradley kept them engaged and entertained while you fell even more in love.

-----------------------------

"What the fuck?" Bradley groaned as he sank down into an empty spot on one of the long benches in the mess hall. The spaghetti looked like mush, but his stomach was growling so aggressively, he decided to take a bite anyway. It tasted just as bad as it looked, and he grimaced as he started to shovel it into his mouth anyway.

What he wouldn't give for dinner at Salvatore's. Mouthwatering pasta. Expensive as hell wine. You in a short little dress with his hands all over your thighs. Maybe Bronco parking lot sex.

Instead he got another USS Gerald R. Ford meal which was barely edible, and a view of a very hairy Atlantic Fleet aviator with the call sign Curly. Fantastic. Even the garlic bread was so stale it was hard to chew, but if he didn't eat, he would start losing weight. And if he started losing weight, it would make working out harder, which would suck, because going to the gym was his main source of entertainment.

Other than writing letters he couldn't send.

"Are you gonna finish that?" Curly asked, pointing at the roll Bradley only bit the corner of.

"It's all yours, man," he replied, watching the other aviator pick it up and crunch on it with a smile. 

Bradley picked up his tray with the intention of heading to his bunk to change into gym clothes, but when he got there, he collapsed onto the twin sized bed instead. It was clear that he'd only been brought along for this deployment to fly one very specific mission, because as a whole, the Atlantic Fleet pilots were young and green. But as a result of the current political climate, he had internet access completely taken away from him, and he was stuck here for five more weeks with nothing to keep him sane. He didn't even have Marty this time around. Just the pretty stationery set you gave him and the holiday cards from your students.

So he would do what he always did now. He would write. To all nineteen of you. But mostly to you. He realized, like he always did, that this was probably the most boring shit that anyone would ever read. How many times could you really read about your boyfriend telling you that he loved you and missed you. It wasn't like he was writing elegant poetry here.

Gorgeous, I miss you so much. You'd cry if you saw the spaghetti I had to eat for dinner. First thing I'm doing when I get home (besides you) is driving us to Salvatore's, and I won't stop eating until I pass out. The Atlantic Fleet food makes the Pacific Fleet cabbage rolls seem like a delicacy, and the US fucking Navy can quote me on that. 

I love you. I wish you knew I was coming back to you instead of Norfolk. I wish I could ask you to use the credit card in my sock drawer to fully stock the refrigerator before I get home. The only things I want to do for three solid days after I arrive back in San Diego are eat, sleep, and fuck my girlfriend.

Definitely not poetry. "Was my writing this shitty last time around?" he murmured to himself with a laugh. It couldn't have been if you kept responding to him for the duration of that deployment. Just thinking about your letters, both professional and personal, made him ache right now. Your emails and your sassy selfies and the sunset photos were things he didn't even know he had been taking for granted.

One letter from you now would have made everything so much better. With a deep sigh, Bradley changed to head to the gym.

------------------------------

Time passed slowly. Packing up and moving boxes of your things from Mira Mesa to Coronado helped, but you were a little too nervous to unpack too much other than the necessities. You didn't even want to think about that right now. All you wanted to do was plan your next visit to the wine bar with Natasha so you felt a little less lonely. 

As you hung the framed blueprint of the Super Hornet Bradley gave you in the living room, you realized he would have to be lonelier than you were. At least you had Jayden's tales of Vanessa the dog to make you laugh during the work day. And you went out to dinner with some of your friends you hadn't seen recently. And you had a never ending text thread with Natasha now. 

There was a pretty good chance Bradley didn't know anyone on this deployment, and you wondered if he was spending a lot of time in the gym. What you wouldn't give for a gym selfie. You collapsed onto the couch and scrolled through the images of your boyfriend that you had saved to your phone.

"God," you moaned. He was so hot. Especially in front of a sunset. Especially with your lipgloss smudged on his cheek. Especially when he was looking at you in his arms instead of at the camera. "Fuck."

When someone knocked on the door, you nearly fell off the couch. Your eyes caught on the envelopes from Bradley that you hadn't yet opened lined up on the coffee table as you walked across the room. The last time you had an unexpected visitor, it was Natasha. The time before that, it was Vanessa. You didn't know who to expect, but you squared your shoulders and pulled the door open with an abundance of attitude only to find a slightly hunched over older woman standing there.

"Oh!" you said, immediately softening your stance. "What can I do for you?"

She looked from you to the Bronco in the driveway and then back again. "Is Bradley home?"

"No, he's not," you told her, unsure about how much information to give. "Is there something you need?"

She eyed you carefully. "Are you his girlfriend? The teacher he fell in love with?" This stranger knew who you were. When you gave her a concerned look and took a step away from her, she said, "I'm Edith. I live next door. Sometimes Bradley helps me with yard work and repairs around my property." She smiled and added, "He only lets me pay him in piano lessons."

"Edith!" You told her your name with a smile. You knew exactly who she was, because the first time Bradley wrote to you about getting piano lessons from his retired neighbor, you fell halfway in love with him on the spot. "Right, of course! Bradley is actually deployed for a few more weeks." She looked immediately dejected, so you asked, "Did you need help with something?"

"I don't want to bother you with it," she said immediately.

"Please," you replied, already reaching for your shoes. "I'm so bored without Bradley around. I would absolutely love a distraction, Edith."

She wrung her hands and then held them up. "Well, I can't change my light bulbs, because my arthritis is bad this time of year when it gets chilly out. And my back patio is so dark at night, I can't see anything."

"Say no more," you told her, joining her on the porch and closing the door behind you.

It only took you a few minutes to change the exterior light bulbs and rearrange her patio furniture. Then you cocked your head to the side and asked, "Is something beeping?"

Edith sighed. "My smoke detector needs new batteries."

"I'm on it."

She led you inside the sliding glass door, into her kitchen where the beeping was annoying enough that you didn't know how this woman could have slept in the house unless her hearing was starting to slip. Edith told you where you could find a step ladder and new batteries, and once you finished that chore, she started digging around in her purse, pulling out five dollars.

"Thank you for your help," she said, trying to hand it to you as you walked past the piano with the step ladder.

"I am absolutely not accepting your money, Edith. This was the most entertaining part of my day. As long as your arthritis allows it, you can pay Bradley in extra piano lessons when he returns." 

The idea of Norfolk suddenly made you feel anxious, but Edith smiled. "Oh, he's an advanced student. He mostly just plays from memory. I only point out when he's flat instead of sharp."

You weren't sure how long it had been since Bradley checked in with her, but as long as he was allowed to come back to San Diego, you'd make sure he did it more often. "I'll send him over as soon as he gets back."

Edith smiled knowingly. "Something tells me he's not going to want to leave your side right when he gets back. But maybe after a day or two, you could send him over?"

"I'll do that," you told her with a chuckle.

After you walked back across the yard and let yourself inside, you kicked off your shoes and decided to treat yourself with one of Bradley's notes. You'd been trying to ration them, but they were all so tempting. The ones you had already opened were stacked up on the kitchen counter where you could easily find them to read them again and again. You took a few seconds to decide which one felt right, and you settled on Open me when you need a laugh.

Inside the envelope, you found no note at all. There was just one photo, and when you pulled it out, you burst into laughter. Natasha was right; twenty-two year old Bradley was endearingly skinny and mustache-less. He still wore that same grin today, but he really grew into his frame. You marveled over how fresh his scars looked in the picture, deciding to hang it up in the bedroom for now. 

And when you woke up on Sunday, the photo was the first thing you saw.

You reached for your phone thinking you could text Bradley before tossing it aside in frustration. You were frustrated in every way. Mentally and emotionally, but also physically. You missed sleeping next to him most nights. You missed his warmth and the way he kissed you. His strong body and attentive hands.

When you tried to burrow down under the covers in just his sweatshirt to go back to sleep, your skin felt like it was charged. Like there was an undercurrent of need that nothing would soothe except for Bradley.

Open me when you're in bed

That's what one of the envelopes said. You bit your lip before burying your face in Bradley's pillow and moaning. The need was still there, more palpable by the second. You had about an hour before Natasha was supposed to pick you up for brunch and the wine bar; it was the perfect time to read that note.

You ran down the hallway to the coffee table, grabbed the envelope, and took it straight back to bed. Your curiosity had been gnawing away at your mind over what could be in the note meant for the quiet solitude of the bedroom, and now was your chance to find out as you slipped back under the covers.

Gorgeous,

You better be in our bed right now. Maybe you just got home from work. Maybe you're still waking up for the day. Maybe you're ready to fall asleep soon, but you just need something to take the edge off. It doesn't matter, as long as you're thinking about me and my hands all over your body. I hope you're ready to read about how I would take care of you right now.... in an abundance of detail.

You moaned as you looked around the room, wide-eyed like someone was going to catch on to what he had written to you. Desire flared inside you as you squeezed your thighs together and took a few deep breaths before continuing to read.

You're beautiful inside and out. It's no surprise that you really get me going. One thought about the soft swell of your ass or the way you taste when you cum is enough to get me seriously hard. Jerking off while thinking about you is fantastic, but nothing compares to the real thing. Next time I see you, we're taking our time to get reacquainted, but right now, if I could have you, it would be fast and dirty.

"Oh god," you groaned, closing your eyes as you pushed his sweatshirt up, letting cool air meet your warm skin. Then your hand slid down to the apex of your thighs, and you weren't at all surprised to find you were wet.

You look sinful in that bed. I just know it. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you. My lips would find your breasts before sampling my way down your belly to that soaking wet pussy. When I say every inch of your body is Gorgeous, I mean it. You've got such a tight, pretty little pussy, and I would love to tease you until you're so worked up, you're practically crying. Just my mouth and fingers until you're begging for my cock, Gorgeous. Go ahead. Beg for it.

"Bradley," you moaned softly, a complete mess for your boyfriend even when he wasn't with you.

Good girl. Now touch yourself just how I'd touch you. Rub yourself just right. Use two of those fingers to warm yourself up and then dip them down inside that perfect pussy. So fucking tight, you drive me insane when I can't be with you. I'd be right above you, singing your praises, telling you how much I love you, and pumping my fingers in and out of that pussy while you whine and beg.

This note was absolutely lethal. You were already close. Sweat beaded on your brow as you stroked your fingers along your clit before pumping them inside you. His name was never far from your lips as you kept reading.

You taste so fucking sweet. I'd run my tongue everywhere until you couldn't stand it. I would eat your pussy until you cum in my mouth. I'd keep going until I couldn't handle how badly I needed you. Then I'd fuck you so hard and fast, you'd have tears in your eyes, voice ragged as my body slapped against yours. Tits bouncing as I bottomed out, holding you in place as I came inside you. And then I would let you know that I'm yours.

I'm all yours, Gorgeous. You absolutely own me.

You were panting, grinding the heel of your hand against your clit as you came. Bradley's note fell from your fingers as your back arched off the bed, and you grabbed the sheet as you cried out. You could hear something familiar mingling with your own voice, but it took you a second to realize your phone was ringing as you writhed around in bed, heart pounding fast from your orgasm. You rolled onto your belly and grabbed your phone as you sucked air into your lungs.

Natasha Trace

Shit. Shit. You tried to get your breathing under control as you answered her call, but you even sounded strange to your own ears as you said, "Hello?"

There was a pause before Natasha asked, "I'm leaving now, and I might stop for a fancy coffee on my way to get you. Do you want something?"

"Sure!" you replied, trying your best to sound casual, but pretty sure you were failing.

"I'll be there soon."

You dropped your phone and reached for the journal instead to let Bradley know just how hard you came for him before you got dressed for the day. 

-----------------------------

"Bradshaw!"

It felt like an almost foreign concept for Bradley to hear his name now. Essentially nobody spoke to him outside of his mandatory meetings, and he'd spent so little time in a cockpit over the last few weeks, he spun around in surprise when someone called him.

Of course it was Admiral Walker. Bradley wasn't sure if he was being punished for what Cyclone had done, but he was hardly given any flight tasks to work on. But now that his deployment was starting to wind down, he realized the danger he was going to be flying into for his mission was much more than he originally anticipated.

"Admiral Walker, Sir?" he replied, saluting his superior officer. He wasn't looking to ruffle any more feathers here as long as it meant he'd be going home to you before too long. He felt sick with longing, missing you so much, especially at night, that he hurt until he was finally able to fall asleep. And then he'd wake up to the same choking feeling all over again the following day.

The older man examined him closely for a few beats before saying, "The weather looks ideal for tomorrow. You're team leader. Be ready to go at first light."

"Yes, Sir," he replied, because there was really nothing else to say. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could return home to his house in Coronado where you lived now. Where you were waiting for him. He just needed to get through this safely.

--------------------------------

I hate how isolated he feels. He's not thriving. He's not even eating well. He needs a hug. Gorgeous is enjoying the box of letters even is she is missing him terribly. I think I'll send him home soon. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 22

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[luveline]

how about some domestic stuff of post-prison reid and stripper!reader??? that one fic broke my heart in the best way

Prison changes a lot of things about Spencer, so when you get back to his place after a quick run to the grocery store and find him packing away some of his things into boxes, you're not alarmed. “Spring cleaning?” you ask, stepping around him carefully where he's kneeling by the TV stand. 

“Making room,” he says. 

He must have bought something. You put your tote bag in the crook of your arm and bend a touch to kiss his cheek, his hair brushing your face. “You have so many things, Spence, you need a storage locker. You need two.” 

He feels blindly up your arm. 

You put the groceries away, wash your hands, and cut some veggies. You season them and put them in the oven to roast, calling Spencer to see what he wants with it. “You could have the leftover chicken, or I can make, like… anything you want, actually. Pork chops, or maybe forget that and we'll have pasta, I can frankenstein the– Hey, Spence? You listening?” 

You're not mad. He's always been prone to deep thought, but usually he isn't looking straight at you while you talk. “Spencer?” 

“You'll move in with me, right? If I ask?” 

You wring your hands. “You've asked me a hundred times.” 

“But this time, you'll say yes.” He's staring at you. He already knows. 

“You can at least pretend to ask me.” 

Spencer closes the box in front of him. “Please, move in with me. I can't spend that long away from you ever again.” 

“You see me almost every day when you're not working.” 

He shrugs, smiles. “It's not enough.” 

You sit on the couch. He leans over his box to hold your leg. Spencer's asked you a bunch of times, first because he worried about your safety, then because he felt it was a good option as his friend, and then again because he loved you. And you always said no because you didn't want to depend on him, and because some nagging voice in the back of your mind kept telling you he'd realise he didn't want you as soon as you got close enough. But it's been a long time since you thought that way, and his stint in prison emphasised how badly you need each other. 

“So, it'll be equal?” you ask in answer. 

“I'm not saying that. The rent is ridiculous, and you didn't sign up for that, and I have no idea where we'll put all your clothes. But it'll be half yours, absolutely.” He looks especially happy though apprehensive; he hasn't realised you don't need convincing this time.

“I want to bring my pink lamp for the bedroom.”

Spencer's smile changes his entire face. Puppy dog eyes turn thinner, his lips part, his perfect teeth like pearls. “I want you to bring the pink lamp. Bring everything. No one will ever understand our decor.” 

You sink down on the floor in front of him and nudge aside his box for a hug. He gives it to you, and, in a slightly uncharacteristic move for him, he cuts the embrace short to kiss you soundly, his hand on your cheek. He kisses you again and again until you're laughing into his mouth. 

“Does this mean you'll let me propose?” he asks softly. 

Your breath catches. He doesn't sound particularly put together himself, bringing his second hand to your face, holding your forehead to this. 

“I don't think it's something I have much choice in,” you say eventually, your smile audible and immovable. 

You get to say yes or no, but his wanting to ask is all on him. He's flustered you unexpectedly, and the quiet laugh coming from what feels to be the deepest recess of his chest tips you over. You dip down into his neck slowly, hiding away in the curve of his shoulder as his arms come heavy behind you. 

“All I could think was how much stuff I didn't get to say to you, or do with you,” he says. “If they couldn't clear my name, I kept thinking about how much time I wouldn't get back.” 

You breathe out in a rush against his neck. “But you're out.” 

“Yeah. I am.” He strokes your back. “Lucky me.” 

[angel-of-the-moons]

Your Beanies are My Babies, too

Steven Grant x Reader (Implied Marc & Jake x Reader)

TW/CW: None!

Summary:

Steven makes sure you know nothing is too silly or childish for him if it makes you happy.

A/N: This came to me because unpacking some things I found the few Beanie Babies I have! Including my sweet lil froggy I thought my sister stole :')

You sighed as you closed the little plastic tote, your shoulders sagging with guilt as you prepared to stuff the container on the top shelf in the back of the closet.

"What's wrong, love?" Steven asked curiously as he carefully placed your clothes in the freshly emptied drawers in the dresser.

You had decided to make everything more official in your relationship by moving in together. Steven's place was bigger than yours, and with some TLC and cleaning, it was plenty big for your stuff as well.

"Oh, it's... it's nothing, don't worry about it." You reply, your smile strained and not quite reaching your eyes. He noticed, but didn't say anything.

Instead, he nodded and smiled back, his dark eyes twinkling, "Right, then. Let's stop and make lunch, yeah? Been at this all morning!"

Steven set the empty cardboard box atop the dresser, and wiped his hands dramatically free of imaginary dust, "You hungry?"

Your smile widened just a bit, genuine mirth taking hold at the thought of one of his delicious veggie wraps. "I'm starving."

He didn't mean to be nosey. He really, really, truly, absolutely didn't!

It's just that you looked so... forlorn when you looked inside the tote. Steven got curious and merely wanted to see what had upset you so.

What he didn't anticipate, was rather cute, small, and well-loved toys! "Beanie Babies"; Marc had told him. "But why keep them in a tote?"

"I d'nno." Steven mumbled softly. "Bad memories? Gifts from a dead relative?"

Jake spoke up. "Well, whatever the case, maybe we should put them back--"

"Oooh! Look at this one! It's a hippo!" Steven cooed at the cute, purple little toy. "This one is called "Happy the Hippo"... And his birthday is..." He said as he read the colorful heart-shaped tag.

"Steven?" Your voice barked.

He jumped and dropped the little toy, his face lighting with a scarlet hue at being caught snooping.

"I--I--" He stammered.

"Wh-why are you..." You paled, beginning to feel a surge of panic sweep through you. The last time this happened....

"Hey, hey! It's okay." Steven said, quickly climbing to his feet to rush over to you. He rubbed your arms up and down as you pressed the heels of your palms to your eyes.

"Please don't be mad..." You say, biting back a soft sob.

"M... Mad?" He blinked, "Why on earth would I be mad at you? I'm the one who went through your things without permission!"

You look into his eyes; not picking up on a single hint of malice or mockery there, all you could see was... concern and sympathy?

"My--my B-Beanie Babies..." You blubber softly, looking over to the tote he'd been looking into.

"Y-yeah? What about them?" He asked, trying to follow your train of thought.

"My... My exes, they..." You sniffle. "They said they were stupid. That they were stupid little kid toys and as an adult I shouldn't have them..."

You swallow, "M-my ex boyfriend before you... He tried to throw them away because he said they were dumb... I've had most of them since I was little. I've taken good care of them, and..."

"Oh, love..." He breathed. "Did you think I'd have a problem with your collection? Is that why you're so scared?"

"I.... Yeah."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed... I have quite the collection myself." Steven giggled, looking around at his stacks of books, museum paraphernalia, bits and baubles... "Why would you think I'd have a problem with your Beanie Babies?"

"I... Everyone says they're a stupid hobby, that they're for kids--" You say hastily, as if trying to defend those that insulted something so precious to you. And that hurt him.

He leaned in and kissed your forehead affectionately, "Sweetheart, they're adorable. I didn't have Beanie Babies growing up. Mum was... Well. Things like that were for "girls"..."

"So you... Like them?" You ask hopefully.

"I love them!" He chirped cheerfully. "Why don't we get them out of that dreary old tote and put them on a special little shelf? Give them a view? Maybe they could overlook the fish tank!"

You sniffle again and nod, smiling gratefully as you wipe at your cheek. "Yeah... Yeah. We... We can do that?"

"Yep!" He kissed your cheek, "Because your Babies are my Babies... They're charming and cute... Now let's clear off a shelf for them!"

You watched, your heart squeezing so sweetly in your chest as he began to precariously climb atop his desk (and almost fell) to prepare the new place for your special collection.

Why did you ever think he'd make fun of you?

[livingslime]

OMGOSH HAIII (/≧w≦＼)*!! RAHH I'm totes in love w/ Dr. Anselm AND in love with this game in general! 🤭💙 You have our full support---I hope this game grows big! Being part of the early game part of the community is honestly very exciting! I wish the best!! :3 🎀

NOW! Questions! o(^o^)o

How would Anselm react to an ambiverted MC? As an ambivert myself, ik that I can switch the way I act around people pretty quickly when it comes to a social battery! ^^;

What would it be like if the MC had a lil comfort plush with them? :0 👉🏾🧸

Would Dr. Anselm be interested in anime at all? (゜ロ゜; To add on, what is his preference of music? 🔥🎶

AAA sorry if this is a lot of questions! 😔 I'M JUST SO INVESTED AND CRAZY FOR THIS MAN YAYAY ♪ (#^w°)v I hope you have an amazing day, pookie!! 🎀🎀🫂

OOMMHEEE HAIHAI PIPPA POKKIE!!!

I truly cherish everyone's support so much , it means the entire world to me (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ♡♡ and it wont ever change no matter how many time I say it!! I really hope we can create a fun community where we can ogle and laugh together hehe.. ミヽ（。＞＜）ノ

He’d naturally match their energy, always knowing when to be quietly supportive or playful, depending on how they feel. He wouldn’t just tolerate their energy shifts—he’d find them endearing, loving every side of the MC. When they seem more drained or quiet, he’d see it as an opportunity to give them extra love, like wrapping them up in a cozy burrito of affection! To him, those moments make the MC even more special, and he'd cherish every bit of who they are, especially their burrito moments ଘ(✿˵•́ ᴗ •̀˵)

He’d find it absolutely heartwarming, especially since he had his own comfort plush in the past. Plushies that look like bunnies would make him smile and reminisce about his own, bringing back fond memories. He’d definitely find the MC’s plush adorable and feel an extra sense of connection over that shared experience (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ♡♡

Oh, absolutely! He would definitely binge-watch anime with the MC. If there’s a yandere character, you’d catch him giving a quiet nod of approval, LOL. But his real favorites are the ones that involve cooking! Watching all the delicious food would make him want to recreate those dishes for the MC. Besides anime, he’s also a huge fan of cooking shows in general! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Anselm enjoys classical music with slow, calming tones. I'm planning to create two playlists soon—one that reminds him of the MC, and another that he can listen to during his operating hours!

No need to be sorry! I'm always happy to answer all your question to the best of my abilities ♡(◕ᗜ◕✿) . And thank you for loving Anselm !! You take care pookie!! ★~(◠‿◕✿)

[c0la-queen]

Absolutely melting at the idea of the Hybird!Boys nagging at Reader for her food even when they already have their own, literally just a bunch of spoiled little babies UGHHH THEYRE SO CUTEEEEE I love them sm…

Like reader’s got herself a nice meaty dinner, maybe a good cut of steak, and as shes eating she suddenly feels smt wet poking at her arm, and she looks to see what and it’s Soldier booping her arm with his nose, staring and drooling at the delicious steak, he starts trying to hop up to nip at it while reader tries push him away, but she ends up cutting a lil piece, dusting off the salt seasoning as best as she could and feeding him it anyways,

I like to think that Tord/Soldier likes snacking on other’s food, esp if its like savory salty meaty stuff yknow what I mean? I can totes see him as the asshole type to steal the other guy’s food stuff, maybe he’ll be a bit nicer to you and nag ask you first

AHHHHHHHHHH SAME THING FOR PRINCE TOOOO WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE A DELICIOUS LIL CREAMY TREATIE He would WHINEEEEE for some sooo badd you HAVE to give him some, he loves treaties sm and will be As dramatic as he can to get the sweets he wants

Going to Starbucks with him and everytime you HAVE to get him a pupcup kinda situation, so you only stop by there sometimes on occasions like when you have to get him to the vet for a checkup otherwise he’ll by crying allll the way home when you deny getting him one cause he’s already have too much and that’ll both break my heart and also annoy me sm LOOLLLLLLL

I literally have such a huge soft spot for Prince and his pompousness…I wanna shower him in kisses and babytalk and squish his face so badly he’s such a cutie patootie

The day you cook bacon for breakfast???? It’s over. Prepare for the hardest tussle in your life wrestling with Superhero for the bacon, if he already bosses you around then you know HE WILL BE RELENTLESS with the bacon, a Giant wolfdog fighting you frfr for food??? Gone…

SOLDIER ENDING UP JOINING IN TOO?1??1?11 literally actually over. It’s a battle to the death. Someones probably going to get hurt and its probably most definitely is going to be you falling over from 2 big ass wolfdogs jumping onto you and knockign you over for the bacon LMAOOOOOO

Soldier and Superhero fighting each other for it but they take it too far though and it become an actual fight for food situation…hic…Reader has to step in and stop them somehow, everyones upset, she has to make both of them 2 pieces and scolds them, they resolved and apologized nicely though at least…

And reader never makes bacon for breakfast ever again(unless its a special occasion when she wants to treat the both of them)

Really love the thought of Monster being the one that rarely nags reader for food like the others Only cause hes a bit distant and has a kinda weird ego abt it y’know, so its Reader who spoils him and tries to get him to try stuff cause he’s a good dog, he deserves it

She notices him eyeing out the food shes having curiously, sniffing at it, so she gets a small piece and asks if he wants to try it and she gets vv happy when he accepts, the others probably gets jealous at the treatment and tries to get some too lolll he probably feels SO proud and full of himself whehehe…

Omg you are SO correct and big brained for this!

Poor Reader would absolutely never get a moment of rest with these four eccentric wolf dogs.

Before adopting them, she definitely had a habit of sitting on the couch with her dinner and watching YouTube videos about niche internet drama (yes I'm projecting) but now she's realized that, to the boys, this is simply an open invitation. I guarantee that, at first, Soldier wouldn't even beg her for the food. He'd be the type to just reach over and start sniffing at her plate. He's not even trying to be sneaky about it! That bastard would have the audacity to look her in the eyes while trying to take food off her plate! She tries to scold him about it, but he simply does not listen - in his mind, there's nothing wrong with what he's doing. So she's taken to sitting at the dining room table and watching YouTube videos on her phone instead. (Soldier will still put his head on her leg and stare at her expectantly.)

Reader is simply Just A Girl 💅, so we know our self-love queen would go get herself a sweet treat all the time. It varies, usually whatever she's craving at the time. There have been times where she's got a random craving for something she doesn't have, and will get up and leave her house to go get it (the boys get so annoyed and huffy). But she should know that no matter what it is she gets, Prince will want a bite. He'd be cute about it, too - whining and pouting and blinking up at her with those baby blue eyes. Eventually, Reader would giggle and give in, with the warning of "Just one bite, baby." Then she'd share a little piece with him. If it's something that isn't safe for dogs, she'd be less willing to share with him, insisting that it'll hurt him. Still, he'd whine for it. (It's not Reader's fault that she doesn't know he can have them!) And yes, I feel like Prince would be the most well behaved in the car, and the best around people, so he's the one that gets to join her on outings more often. She made the mistake of stopping by a coffee shop and getting him a pup cup ONE TIME, and now he's hooked. Every time they pass by that coffee shop (he knows that it's Reader's favorite, since the baristas know her by name) he will bark and howl and work himself up into a tizzy until Reader finally sighs and gives in. After he gets that pup cup, he's back to being well-behaved and a sweetheart. Reader hates it. Plus, people would fawn over Prince in public since he's such a pretty boy. He absolutely eats it up!

God save Reader if she decides to make bacon one morning. It's not something she does often - she probably decided to do it this time as a special occasion. Maybe it's the morning of her birthday or a holiday. Either way, she decided to make a big breakfast for herself. Which included bacon.

Superhero is normally the first of the four to wake up. From what Reader can gather, Soldier takes the night shift. He stays awake through the night, watching out the windows and sometimes patrolling the house. Because of this, Soldier tends to sleep during the day. Superhero then takes the mantle of "guard dog" during the day. Prince and Monster will sometimes take the night shift instead, but it's normally Superhero and Soldier.

Still, Superhero has a routine of patrolling the house the moment he wakes up, checking for anything wrong. If Reader is making bacon, though? Superhero is glued to her legs in an instant. She'd laugh at first and lightheartedly tell him no. He wouldn't give up. He'd escalate to putting his front paws up on her shoulders and trying to reach the bacon himself. Reader would definitely have to half pick up/half drag him away from the stove. He'd boof and snap his teeth demandingly, as if he's entitled to a piece of this bacon and how dare you not let him have a piece! Reader, always one to fight him on everything, would be adamant not to.

Then Soldier enters the scene. As I said before, Soldier usually sleeps through the first half of the day. But the moment the smell of bacon spreads through the house? She hears claws clacking against the floor as he barrels into the kitchen. It would probably be the most excited Reader has ever seen Soldier, tail wagging and eyes shining brightly. Superhero immediately growls and snaps at Soldier. Reader would just let them tussel at first, using the distraction to finish cooking her bacon. Eventually, she realizes "Oh shit those are NOT play growls-" and quickly runs over to the two to separate them. It takes the promise of two pieces of bacon each to get them to finally settle down.

Reader never makes bacon in her house ever again.

Meanwhile, Monster would be different. Where the other three would be swarming her legs the moment she starts cooking herself dinner, Reader notices that Monster is always sitting patiently to the side. She has to subdue the others by continuously feeding them bites of what she's cooking, but Monster never begs for any. He's the only one that she can eat on the couch with, because he'll lay on top of her feet and won't try to steal her food. But she does notice him glancing at her food. So, since he's always been such a sweetheart, Reader would happily offer Monster food. He would take it slowly, hesitantly. But he feels better after Reader cooes and praises him for being so good. His tail would wag contently. Still, he would never bother Reader for her food. We love Monster in this household <3 I will say, I like to think Tom personally doesn't like bacon. So, if Reader tried to offer some to Monster because it's only fair, he would sniff it, then huff and sneeze and turn his nose away. Doesn't bother Reader, though. Just means it's one less rowdy wolfdog trying to tackle her.

[quillsareswords]

Soft as Snow

DAMIAN WAYNE X READER

SUMMARY: You and Damian finally get to enjoy a Chistmas in your new home.

A/N: Merry late Christmas and happy holidays! I meant to do a writing week along side this, but things got kind of crazy. This was actually part of a Secret Santa I participated in with some other writers here on Tumblr! I drew @unmotivatedwrit3r! Hope you like it bb :)

Other participants: @citrinesparkles @birdy-bat-writes @glorified-red

WARNINGS: language

MASTER LIST in BIO

DECEMBER 5TH

   He hadn't expected you home until this evening, but your shoes are sitting beside the landing table, beneath the coat hooks, when he gets home. "Beloved?" he calls, hanging his peacoat beside yours.

   "Kitchen!"

   He follows the sound of your voice down the entry hall. He habitually glances into the living room on his way past. Your canvas shopping totes are set on the coffee table, shades of red and green peeking out from inside. He recalls you commenting this morning that you'd stop for groceries on your way home. He should've expected this.

   You're standing in front of the coffee machine when he rounds the doorway. In front of you, stacks of mugs. You smile brightly at him. "Hey! You're home early."

   He peers into the cupboard as he sidles up beside you. You've pulled every mug from the shelves; all shapes and sizes spread and stacked between the wall and the edge of the counter. He hadn't realized there were so many. "So are you."

   You shrug, setting the last of them—a white mug with some vulgar phrase written in cursive—among the rest. "I finished up sooner than I thought, so I got groceries."

   He snakes an arm around your waist, rolls his eyes knowingly. "Let me guess: you went to get groceries, but got distracted and walked away with a new collection of trinkets."

   A wry smile. You reach into the closest bag. A red, green, and white monstrosity spotted in flat black deer outlines. "Christmas mugs don't count as trinkets. Obviously."

   He hums mocking agreeance. "Right. Of course not, dearest." He glances over his shoulder for emphasis, "I assume those are also definitely not trinkets?"

   You smile brightly. "Nope. They're Christmas decorations. Definitely essential."

DECEMBER 11TH

   He tries so hard not to wake you. You'd been busy all day, then gone to bed late because you wanted to see him off for his nightly patrol. You idiot.

   It's not like he doesn't appreciate it. His night always starts off on the wrong foot when he doesn't get a kiss from you beforehand. (It's just bad luck, at this point.) Even so, it's not a good enough reason for you to stay up.

   He won't argue about it again. He won the argument about you waiting up for him to get back; he doesn't like his odds for getting you to bed at a decent time.

   He sneaks around the house carefully, guided only by the light of the Christmas tree and the night lights always glowing in the hallways. He pins his arm to his chest and swerves through the living room, the kitchen. If not getting blood on your carpet was a sport, he'd win the Olympics. Between you and Alfred, he's pretty sure he could get stabbed and leave no evidence in an entirely white room.

   Luckily, it's only a few minor cuts that are dribbling crimson through his suit. All he needs is a few butterfly stitches and some bandage for the worse graze on his forearm.

   Unluckily, he realizes a little too late that the First-Aid kit in the kitchen has not yet been restocked. Which means the only fully stocked kit is the big one…in the master bathroom. The one on the other side of his bed. Your bed. Where you're sleeping. Damn it.

   He's a professionally trained assassin. He's a goddamn ninja, literally. He can sneak up on any person, into any building. You have no formal training. He once witnessed you sleep through an actual earthquake. Somehow, he always wakes you up.

   Not this time. This time, he will not wake you up.

   The Christmas lights wound around your potted plants light his way. He picks across the bedroom, around a pile of the day's clothes, across the rug. He steps over a stray Amazon box. Reminds himself to pick it up later. He's four feet from the door. Victory is close at hand.

   "Damian?"

   You're joking. When he turns, you're propping yourself up in bed, scrubbing sleep out of your eye. How! He didn't make a single sound!

   "You gonna take that off before bed, or..?"

   He sighs, tiredly. "I'm not going to bed yet. Go back to sleep, I won't be long." He whispers, still steps lightly, even if there's no point. He steps close, rests the rough palm of his glove on your cheek, and presses his lips against your temple. "I promise. Go to sleep."

   You hum, still half asleep. "What're you doin'?" You reach up absently, always wanting touch, always seeking him out. Your fingers brush up his arm, and then, wide awake– "You're bleeding. Why are you bleeding?"

   He shakes his head, smoothing a thumb along your cheekbone. "It's only a cut. Nothing to worry about."

Of course, you won't accept this as an answer. He can't convince you to get back into bed once you clamber out from under the blankets, so he follows you into the bathroom and sits on the edge of the bathtub.

You only use the light over sink, leaving the room just light enough to see. The dim lighting echoes the early hours somehow. Neither of you say much, directions aside. It'stoo early for much conversation. You smooth white straps over the minor cuts, a patch on a scrape up his cheek, carefully wind the gause around his arm.

When he's no longer dripping blood on the tile, you go and get a clean set of pajamas while he peels off the uniform and dumps it into the tub. Then, you both shuffle back to the warmth of the bed like moths to flame.

Despite the bandage, his arm is still a comfort when wrapped around you.

DECEMBER 14TH

   "What are you…doing?"

   He looks up from his hands, eyes wide, confused. "I'm– I'm wrapping gifts?"

   You cock your head to one side. You squint. "Oh. That's a box?"

   He blinks once. Twice. "Of course it's a box. What are you talking about?"

   Your face twists like you're not sure if you should laugh or not. "Baby. Look at it."

   He looks back down at the bundle of scotch tape and green wrapping paper. Sure, it doesn't follow every crisp line, and some of those straps of tape are way too long, and when did that corner get torn off? Oh, it's stuck to that piece of tape. Or is that a different corner?

   "Have you ever wrapped a gift before?" You ask slowly, tentatively. You only now realize that maybe you really shouldn't be laughing, if he's never wrapped a present before. He'll take it mockingly, answer defensively, close himself off to save himself the embarrassment.

   His nostrils flare as he stares down at it. "No," he says pointedly. "I don't usually have the time. Pennyworth wrapped them. If I did have time, I used a gift bag."

   You nod, sly little smile working its way across your face. "Makes sense. Is that why everything you give me is small?"

   He blows out a surprised noise, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. He finally looks up at you again. "You've never complained before. We both know I'm awfully skilled with all sorts of things; the size never matters."

   You roll your eyes. "Oh, sure. Do you want me to show you how to wrap it or not?"

   He chuckles, steps aside, gestures that he's made room for you.

   You step in beside him, in front of the dining room table. In typical Damian Wayne fashion, the workspace is perfectly organized; scissors and tape set neatly on your right, a roll of shiny green wrapping paper on your left, the lumpy mystery package in the middle.

   He lays one hand on the table beside the scissors, leans on it, and props his other hand on his hip. "Please, show me the magical ways of gift wrapping."

   So, you do. You carefully salvage what you can, flatten it, trim it, tape it down. You smooth the edges crisp around the Amazon box. You explain it as you go, even though you know he could watch you do it once and copy it step for step.

   He watches you closely. First, your hands. He really did want you to teach him how you get the gifts under the tree to look so nice. But, he's a weak man at heart when anything concerns you. You always get this look on your face when you're working with your hands. It appears when you fold laundry and wash dishes, too. He catches himself looking at you instead of your instructions.

DECEMBER 20TH

   "That is definitely my sweater."

   "No, it isn't." You have a really bad poker face. Your eyes sparkle too much.

   He crosses his arms, mindful of the cut, still tender on the outside of his arm. "I bought that last year. At your suggestion, if memory serves."

   "I don't know what you're talking about." You upend the hot paper bag in your hand, spilling popcorn into a festive plastic bowl. "This was in my closet."

   "We share a closet."

   You wave your hand dismissively. "Potato, pa-tot-oh." You sprinkle on some salt and hold the bowl out for him.

   He takes it in one hand and waits for the next item. "I don't mind. You know I don't. I do wish you would admit that it's mine."

   You scoff, dumping a box of holiday chocolates into a matching bowl. "Why on earth would I do that?"

   He doesn't answer right away, waits until you glance over at him. "Because I like it when you wear my clothes."

   Your facade washes away under the tides of a grin you can't contain. You turn away instead, pretending to put all your focus on the candy bowl.

   He and his stupid sweet face. He shouldn't be allowed to wear sweaters or smile like that. He smiles at you all the time, much to your joy, but every once in a great while, when the mood catches him right, he gives you this world-healing, puppy-yipping, kitten-soft smile that makes you feel like you're floating. It should be illegal. He should at least give you a warning.

   You decide the fluttering in your chest is a little too much for two o'clock in the afternoon, snowstorm or not, so you change the subject. "What movie should we start with?"

   He takes the cue, he lets you do it; but he keeps staring at you like you like you're the only thing in the house worth looking at. "You decide. You're the better judge."

DECEMBER 25th

   It's been twenty-two minutes since you woke up. You've been killing time, between your phone and the morning newscast on the television across from the bed, but now you're getting suspicious.

   He'd been far too excited for any man who wakes up before sunrise. Christmas Day could be an exception, you suppose—fathers and guardians springing out of bed to watch their children rip open gifts. But Damian? You've never seen him so lit up before lunch.

   Stay in bed, he'd said, the moment you rolled over for a kiss. You did get one, but he leapt out of bed so soon after that you wondered if you should be offended. You should probably explain that be right back usually doesn't mean a half-hour.

   At minute thirty, you debating going and checking on him. You can hear noise, if you strain your hearing over the news anchor. Sizzling? Clanking, definitely. Clinking.

   Footsteps in the hallway. The door knob rattles. Alfred the Cat perks up by your feet. Muffled swearing. Not in English, but you know the tone.

   "Do you…want help?"

   "No," he replies quickly. "Stay in bed."

   You prop yourself up against the pillows and cross your arms. "Don't have to tell me twice."

   There's a long pause behind the bedroom door, before the knob turns and the door swings open. You're pretty sure you see a socked foot reel back out of sight.

   And then, he appears. Despite the brightly colored fleece pajama pants that match the shirt you slept in, he's still all poise and grace with a tray in his hands. He looks awfully proud of himself, like a cat prancing around with a fat mouse in its mouth, green eyes glittering.

   You laugh incredulously. "What is that?"

   He practically struts around to your side of the bed, sets the tray across your lap. "Breakfast, my darling."

   Sure enough, there's enough food to feed you, he, the cat, and the news anchor. Two mugs of coffee, a stack of Christmas tree shaped pancakes, a platter of scrambled eggs, and a bowl of fruit-chunk-filled yogurt.

   He takes your stunned silence as an opportunity to crawl over your legs and settle back down on his side of the bed.

   "What– Why?" You're still laughing, grinning ear to ear. "I mean, this looks delicious, but why?"

   He's smiling, too. "Well," he sighs, "I knew you were excited about Christmas, especially for dinner." Dinner, which was supposed to be held at Wayne Manor tonight, but had to be canceled to accommodate the weather, which decided to cover every side-street in two feet of snow and every major road in ice. "So I decided to…make up for it, I suppose."

[harrysmimi]

Little Miss Cry

Synopsis: One where Harry is graduating before YN and she finds life harder to navigate through college already (requested)

Ps. Please read New Student and My Favourite Cry Baby for context.

More of my work

YN was very grateful she met Harry at the beginning of her college course.

Though he initiated the friendship, he asked her out on a coffee date but she rejected him in the most adorable way - that's what he says at least -, she had grown to be way too close to him. Of course he is her boyfriend now.

The thought him graduating before her and spending two more years getting the degree gives her a weird ick. He can't walk to and from college with her everyday, he will be busy handling his dad's business, he will make new friends at work. This all unlocked new fear for her that he's going to forget her.

Her dad did that to her, when he left her at her Grandma's he'd just started his own business.

Plus having to socialise with new people made her feel sick. Harry hung out with her, he sometimes took her with him to see his friends though she always felt left out and most of them were older than her and she doesn't know how to start conversations, just being by his side is more entertaining to her.

Don't get it wrong, she is so happy and proud of Harry that he's graduating. His hard work was paying off. But she's also going to miss him, especially when he's going to move to a different place now and she can't just walk a few steps to go over to his whenever she pleases or wants. Does that make her a bad person?

"Hey, sweetheart!" Harry greeted her this morning with a kiss on her forehead and a hug, like everyday.

"Hey," she cooed hugging him back. She buried her face in his neck taking in the smell of his usual cologne.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Mhmm." YN nodded, realising that she was holding onto him for a little too long.

"Let's go then, yeah?" He suggested holding onto her hand as they walked to the lift. She stood in front of him pouting asking for a little smooch. He just chuckled leaning down he placed a kiss on her puckered lips. "You look so, so pretty today, did you curl your hair?" He noticed new waves in her hair.

"You noticed!" She was surprised, they both stepped into the lift, "and yes, Isabelle ordered this heatless curling thing online I tried last night. It actually worked."

"Of course, I notice everything about my baby!" He draped his arm around her shoulder tucking her closer to him. She smiled sheepishly looking down, he grabbed her tote bag from her as they walked to their college getting little drinks on their way. "There is a party tonight, do you wanna go with me?" He asked waiting for her to get her books from her locker.

"I, uh, I don't know." She stuttered remember the first and last time she went to a party, "I don't feel like going to parties, you know especially since last time. You, you were there. Sorry."

"Yeah, I won't force you. It's Okay, we can stay in and watch a movie or something or go on a little date, what do you say?" He suggested.

"No, you don't have to stay with me it's okay." She looked at him as she stopped arranging books in her locker, "I don't want you to miss out on stuff just because I don't like to go to parties and stuff."

"It's not that," he sighed watching her resume her arranging. He also noticed his previous years notes he gave her to study from, "I have grown out of parties already, I'd rather stay at home or be with you than watch people throwing themselves at me or my friends and get shit faced."

"You're graduating Harry, it's not fun. Isn't it like mandatory you celebrate graduation like that?" She asked, now finally done with her thing as she shut her locker closed.

"I can celebrate in much more fun way with you," he smirked, "we can go to the New York City for the weekend and go see the tourist attractions. You haven't been to any, right?"

"Harry, I'd feel too guilty!"

"Don't, I want to be with my girl." He assured her. "We'll talk more about it in break, yeah? Now let's go to our classes."

......................................................................

Harry and YN were sat at their usual place in the college cafeteria eating the lunch he made today. She ranted about how she curled her hair and which products she borrowed from Isabelle and how they work on his request, he loves to hear her talk okay!

That's the only way he can get her to talk, even though he would shamelessly admit he loves her little kitten stare at him, all doe eyed as he talks about his own thing. Or even when they're cuddled up on the sofa or bed watching something. He just how quietly affectionate she is. The way she'd just do the things he forgets to, like pack a lunch, get him a water bottle, cook meals for both of them (she especially loves to bake little treats often), or if she's hanging out at his and see his laundry everywhere she's just toss it in the basket for him or help him tidy up. Just these tiny little things she observes make him fall more for her.

"Harry!"

YN was interrupted by Niall approaching their table there with few of his friends. That made YN upset because they're not going to leave Harry alone for the rest of the break, she just wants him all to herself, is it too much to ask for?

Even at home he's constantly interrupted by either Mitch now that he's got less work and more time at home or it is Ethan, Harry's other roommate constantly shit talking about his job.

YN just sat there with her shoulders slumped in the corner, but Harry slipped his hand in hers under the table seeing her all anxious. He notices her becoming more quiet around his friends.

"YN what are your plans for summer?" Sarah asked.

(Not Mitch's Sarah.)

"Oh, I don't have any plans yet. But I'm planning to look for a intership for my next term project." YN shared, happy that at least someone acknowledges her.

"You're so boring," Beatrice rolled her eyes, "always studying."

"Isn't that why you're here for, Beatrice?" Harry deadpanned. "At least she's not wasting her time."

"Are you two like together or what? You're always speaking for her." Lexi giggled.

YN didn't like Lexi. She is in Harry's class always tries to hit on him though she had only seen him not pay a mind to her. She had started to come around since the start of this semester as she's got same class at Niall and Harry.

"You don't know? Of course they're together." Sarah snapped.

YN felt so bad in the moment. "I can speak for myself." She started, "and yes Harry and I are together."

Everyone looked at her in surprise, a quiet one speaking up for themself is quite unusual. Especially for YN there. Just before anyone could comment anything on it the period bell went off.

"I have a lecture." She said to Harry before leaving the place. God she's never going to hang out with his friends. Apart from Sarah. She's very sweet and humble.

"Wait for me, lovie." Harry followed after her, "I'm sorry about that baby."

"No, it wasn't your fault." She shrugged, her voice was watery enough for Harry catch on.

"It's okay, we won't see them ever again. Just a couple of months, yeah?" He assured her, enough to make her cry. "No, no, no, don't cry." She hugged him. "Let's go sit on the grass bit for a little, yeah?"

"I, I have revision." She mumbled inbetween her cried.

"Will help you myself, baby, come with me." He wiped her tears off her face with cuffs of his hoodie. He took her bag from her as they walked to the grass groud. "You know want to study here?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"Okay." He took his own laptop out to actually sit there and study with her.

She weirdly inspires him to study now actually and his academic success have grown a tad bit more with the efforts he has been putting in. He does have to stop and help her out sometimes as she studying same topics as he did during the two years of college.

By the end of the day YN had convinced Harry to really go to the party with his friends. He needs his own alone time apart from her, she said though he would rather be with her than his drunk friends really. But he said he'd go for an hour or so after her insisting.

YN went back home and got her other assignments done after work. She was all alone at home as Isabelle and Beatrice had gone to the same party themselves. She did her nightly routine and got all cosy in her bed, with her laptop to watch something new other than The Office. She had recently grown to love rom-coms, she'd watch the random one which popped on her recommendations. It was The Kissing Booth which popped up on her screen. Despite reading mixed reviews about it she still decided to watch it. Her bedding was extra comfortable today, her cuddle bear, Bibbles.

Before getting too comfortable, she noticed her water bottle was empty on her nightstand so she walked to the kitchen to fill it up and grabbed a bag of her favourite potato crisps. She heard her phone ding buried somewhere in her fluffed up blanket. She managed to fish it out and saw the text from Harry asking her to open the door for him, telling that he'd already asked Isabelle and Beatrice if he could stay over tonight and both of them said it was fine with them.

As far as YN remembered he left just about an hour and half ago, but she still went to get the door him. "Harry, you there?" She asked waiting for a response so she can actually proceed to open the door.

"I'm here, baby. Can you please-" he was interrupted when she opened the door, "Hello, my love!" She quickly stepped aside making him a way to get in, so he did and took off his outdoor shoes by the door.

"You didn't go to the party?" She asked.

"I did," he shared, "got bored and tired so thought to join you, do you mind if I?"

Harry did looked tired. He was working as well as studying his ass off for the finals. He had dark circles under his eyes by now, he was breaking out of stress, that's what he said to her.

"No, of course not."

"What were you upto, baby?" He asked, stuffing his socks back into his shoes noticed her staring at him.

"I was going to watch The Kissing Booth." She shared. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"We can cuddle and watch the movie." He suggested. Already making his way to her kitchen to get himself a glass of water.

"Yes." YN smiled shyly. She really liked how he had grown comfortable enough at her place lately. Especially since Beatrice had got off his back but she still finds her way to bully YN. He was dressed a simple black tshirt and a pair of black sweats. He'd seem to changed into his PJs from his usual button down and skinny jeans.

"Oh you've got snacks already." He chirped as he walked both of them to her room.

YN froze for a beat seeing she had her teddy bear up. She found it embarrassing to tell anyone she still sleeps with a cuddle bear. She had also managed to hide it from Harry until now, whenever he was over to spend the night with her she'd tuck it away in her closet. Harry acted like her cuddle bear to fill up for Bibbles the bear. It was only toy her cousins spared her to.

But to her surprise Harry didn't seem to notice it, or he chose not to comment on it. He followed her in bed, tucking the bear under his arm like a pillow before he was pulling up the blanket on both of their thighs. She pulled up the movie she was going to watch again.

"He's cute." He finally spoke up, "when did you get it?"

YN looked up at him finally, seeing the way he was holding Bibbles. She's quite protective of the toy. Why wouldn't she? It was the only thing she had to play with and she cuddled it at night, especially after she'd be going back to sleep after having a horrendous nightmare. The stuffed bear held bery special place in her heart. It bothered her the way he held onto it, with it's arm folded on itself. It wasn't going to break, she knew that, but still she was trying her best not to yank it away from him not wanting him to find her weird, that she's so protective of a mere stuffed toy.

"No, it's, it's very old." She stuttered, petting the leg of the teddy bear.

"Never saw it before. Does he have a name?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, relieved as Harry placed the toy on his lap properly. "I had him since I was one year old. Named him Bibbles."

"That's adorable!" Harry giggled. "I never knew you had a cuddle bear."

"It's embarrassing." She pressed play on her laptop starting the movie but he quickly paused it.

"It's not!" He exclaimed, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about, baby." He pressed a kiss on her head. "Here you have him." He carefully placed the bear in her lap. Well, least to say she felt that much less embarrassed about it now, she sat there cuddled and bundled up next to him.

The very next morning when she woke up as if on autopilot, she found herself caged and tucked under her fluffy blanket warmly. Bibbles the bear tucked close to her chest. Familiar smell of her boyfriend spooning her became more prominent to her as she started to wake up from her sleep. She had grown to love this feeling!

YN could only hope she could still get to wake up next to him. He'd told her a couple months ago he was moving to a different place. Five blocks away where they live now. He was going to be living alone there, he'd also taken her to visit the flat (or apartment as the Americans call it) as there was some renovations going on.

She knew he's going to be the next CEO to one of his dad's company but, she still couldn't fathom how he could afford a literal penthouse getting straight out of college.

Harry was nice enough to ask her to move in with him. Well, she wouldn't mind but she wants to live on her own, at least until she graduates and look after herself. It's always been her vision growing up. She had to politely decline his offer. And they have been dating for just about a year now, it was too early for her.

But it all sunk in on her out of nowhere, the fact that he won't be just a door away from her. Though that really made her realise she had to learn to take care of her problems on her, that she can't go on crying to him almost everytime. He's a human too, he needs his own personal space. He's got his own set of problems than hearing her cry over every little inconvenience life has to offer. That's one of the many reasons she wanted to live on her own.

He just won't be on campus with her, he won't be able to walk with her to and forth from campus to home now. He's got a more demanding job now.

It gave more anxiety to her than it should to him about starting up a new job.

YN didn't realise she was crying until she felt a gentle squeeze on her arm. "Hey baby, what's wrong?" He rasped, "did you had a nightmare or something?"

"No, it's nothing." She sniffled and wiped off her face with her sweater paw.

"You sure?"

"Mhmm."

She felt a kiss being placed on the back of her head making a shiver run down her spine. She doubts she'd ever get used to his kisses and not have shiver running down her spine or have goosebumps make her skin itch. She's literally cuddled up next to him on her double twin bed. So, she placed her stuffed bear on the floor next to her bed and turned around carefully, not to push him or herself off the bed on accident.

"Hi gorgeous, good morning." He beamed, petting her hair and instantly embracing her in a bear morning hug. Her face found a home against his neck. "Did you sleep well?"

"Good morning. I did sleep well." She mumbled, "did you?"

"The best sleep I've had in longest!"

"Do you want to stay for breakfast?" She suggested.

"How about I take you out?" He counter suggested, "on a little date, how do you like the sound of that? Wanted to take you out last but you forced me to go this party!"

"Yes, I want to go." She agreed. Of course she did! They haven't been out on their little dates in a while.

"Get ready whilst I go get ready as well, yeah?"

"I want to cuddle for a bit." She held onto him tightly.

"You sure you alright, baby?" He enquired again and earned just a humm from her. "Don't go back to sleep."

"I'm not." She whined.

"You know how much I love you?" He whispered, pressing soft little kisses on her head.

"Mhmm."

He gasped, "your answer should have been no. But I'm gonna tell you any way. I love you so much, can't even comprehend!"

"I love you so much too!" She mumbled against his chest.

"Yeah? You do?" He teased her, "are you going to let me look and kiss your pretty face then?"

YN shifted her head to look at him so he can kiss her and he did. His lips smeared over hers in a delicate good morning kiss, before he pulled apart enough to pepper the rest of her face with tiny sloppy pecks. Her fist tightened when she felt his hand creep down to the rest on her bum, finger tips digging gently in the full of the flesh as he buttoned his mouth back on hers. Much more needy, it felt like to like.

It had her heart racing even though it wasn't the first time, but the last time was interrupted by his other roommate knocking on his door looking for waffle maker. They don't have anyone at her's now to interrupt them. Feeling his hard on pressing into the soft of her thigh through the layers of both their sweats had her pulling away trying to catch on her breath. She was taken back by surprise with his forwardness this morning. He haven't touched her like that intentionally this way before, though she didn't mind in the moment she doesn't want to lead him onto something which she really doesn't feel comfortable with.

"Ha-harry?" She whispered.

"Hmm?"

"I, I think I, I don't like this... Please!" She requested which had him immediately pulling away and retreat his hands away from her watching her sit up on the mattress.

"I'm, I'm really sorry baby." He cooed, blood draining from his face immediately as he looked ather with concern, following her to sit up straight. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, just got carried away, I'm so, so, so so sorry!"

"No, no you didn't, you didn't know." She stuttered, "we just haven't- I, I mean you never touched me there so it was something new. I was just surprised not uncomfortable, I promise. I don't want, to you know... go any further. I don't know if that's something I want just yet."

"We, we're not." He assured her, "oh my- baby I am really sorry!"

"It's okay." She rested her hand on the back of his own on the mattress. "Hug?"

"You sure?"

"Mhmm!" She nodded jerkingly. "You told me to ask you stop if I wasn't comfortable with anything, didn't you? So I did. Not that I'm uncomfortable with you, I feel more free around than anyone else. I just don't want to want to you know..." She shrugged punctuating her confess with a sheepish look on her face. That had him sighing in relief. His heart was thumping in his ears as he tried hard not to breakdown. His vision clouded with tears pooling up in his eyes.

"C'mere!" He offered her a hug which she gladly accepted. "Thank you so much for telling me, baby, you know I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable, right? I really didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't." Her hand rubbed strokes up and down his back. "Harry, are you crying? It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

"I know, I know." He assured her, breaking the hug as he sniffled.

"It's alright. I love you." She leaned forward to place a sweet ticklish kiss on his cheek, it had him breathing out a giggle.

"I love you."

"Can I, can I tell you something?" She suggested.

"Anything." He pulled the blanket upto his thighs, he wasn't hard anymore with intense feeling of guilt clouding his brain.

"I don't want to have sex until I'm married, I know we never talked about it and it might sound old fashioned but I think that's what I want." She shared, "just want you to know so I'm not leading you on with anything unintentionally. I don't mind kissing and cuddling and stuff."

"If that's what you want then who am I judge, hmm?" He felt less guilty there, at he knew where to draw the line with her, and respect her boundaries. And the fact that she rarely opens about herself and he has to guess almost everything that she's actually sharing something with him, which warmed his hear. "Thank you for telling me."

"Your welcome." She smiled shyly.

"What got you all shy?" He chuckled, "it's okay you can talk about it if you want."

"No, it's nothing." She shook her head, "I grew up you know in environment where this is a taboo subject to talk about. And girls and even boys are told about it very little just a day or two before they're getting married. They don't even teach girl about good and bad touch, I mean my cousins were not but I was when I went to school in London. They taught us about what is that. So I just got ehmmm, a but flustered to tell you about it."

"First off, that's very fucked up." He started, "and second of all it's very fucked up. I'm glad you told me about it."

Well, that was good way to start the morning. Or was it? YN didn't know how to feel about that in that moment.

But as the day went on she really made peace with it. They had their take out brunch at a park near by Harry's new place and later went on to check on the little renovation going there. It was his mum's pent house she just gave it to him because she never uses it.

......................................................................

As the Autumn started new academic year for YN started well.

Harry graduated. He had a blast. He was also nice enough to include her in his fun, dragged her along to the parties where she could go as she was under aged to drink in America (but apparently old enough to take out a huge loan). Well, why wouldn't he? She's his girlfriend afterall!

It was also nearing to their one year anniversary in December. He had already been bugging her to tell him what she wanted to do already. Though she didn't want him to spend anything or do anything for her other than bake a few cookies or a cake and cuddle whilst drinking hot chocolate and just listen to him talk. In her heart she wanted to go back and relive their first date, go to the Time Square and share a kiss like they did.

But it's still a about four months away, she's got plenty of time to make up her mind. She was just happy seeing her boyfriend happy that he finally graduated.

Oh she totally gets him!

She's already dreading to go to classes or maybe it was her seasonal dipression kicking it.

She didn't know what was kicking in but college was already kicking her bum.

Just a couple of weeks in and she already has at least three breakdowns everyday. All she wants to do is now drop out and start her own bakery, well, Isabelle suggests that they both should go be strippers but she'll pass on it. Mainly because she's not that comfortable in her body yet. Atleast Harry would support the idea as he giggled and showed his support through the phone call they managed to squeeze in between in his hectic schedule.

But that's all she got. It was nearing the three week mark since last seeing him in person or kissing him or hugging. She was missing.

YN had a really bad start of her new academic year so far, she dreaded to do her assignments and was struggling to find intership for her project study. Every where she went to interview said they weren't hiring interns in the field she was majoring in. Well, she could wait until it's closer to turning in the project but jt would be too late as all the students would cram in to get that intership. She just needed a certificate of a completed intership that's all. And she made another huge error in her class presentation.

She knew she hated public speaking!

Her work life was a total disaster. Her shifts were odd all of a sudden. And maybe it was her bad luck following her to work that she had deal with rude customers.

YN was so grateful he invited her over for the weekend to his new place now that he had moved in and settled down. On her way from college she made sure to pick up a cute and small bouquet of flowers and chocolates. Well, chocolates were for her but she was willing to share.

She's just started her period okay!

She had a bad month so far. She's just excited to see her boyfriend over the weekend there. The walk was killing her but she made a stop by hers to get a change of clothes like he asked her to and her toiletries of course before making another walk the same distance from college to home to his mew place. On her way she picked up a small bouquet of red and white roses for her boyfriend. He was home when she texted him that she's down his building and just getting in the lift.

Just for YN surprise after Harry left her on read he was stood by his front door, already reaching for her duffle bag weighing it, to guess if she packed enough for the weekend or not. He seemed pretty pleased with it. He pulled in and shut the door behind him.

"Hi baby!" He sighed gathering her in a long craved hug from his lover being mindful of the roses she hugged near her chest. "I missed you!"

"Hi, I missed you so much!" Her came out muffled against his chest and felt him relax in instant as she rubbed her hand on his back, up and down his spine.

"Yeah? You did, huh!" He teased, giving her a light squeeze.

"Mhmm so much!" She lifted her head up to look at him witha subtle pout on her lips which he caught onto. He dipped his head down, just centimetre away from her mouth.

"Can I get a kiss?" He mumbled.

Least to say, butterflies in her tummy were going to have a field day today!

YN decided to give in first by initiating the kiss by smearing her lips onto his in a peck as delicate as Harry saw her to be. If he wasn't holding onto her, she would have been a puddle on the marble tile of his new home. A quick little kiss was placed on his dimpled cheek before she hugged him again, this time clinging onto him by his neck. He heard a few sniffles from her.

"You alright, my love?" He asked, concern weighed his voice down. "You crying?" He reluctantly pulled away enough to look at her, "what's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing. I don't know why I'm crying." She giggled but she was crying. It was confusing.

"Awh!" Harry cooed as he gathered her in a hug. "Come on, I'll show you our bedroom. It's all done now. I guess at least, unless you want ." He grabbed a gentle hold of her hand, laced his fingers through hers as he grabbed her duffle bag for her.

Well, she caught onto his word of choice to describe what's probably the master bedroom of his new home. It wasn't a big deal when she found herself saying the same thing, but when he said that it made her heart flutter a little.

Last time she was there he was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor for the time being in the living as he was getting his (both their) bedroom repainted and redecorated. He was taking full advantage of his father funding it, he said.

"You got the vase!" She exclaimed, excited about the vase she found online which she thought would look amazing in his house. It was fairly expensive so she didn't thought he would be getting it, but he got it! "And I got you flowers!"

"Thank you baby," he cooed taking the flowers she handed him.

"It's really good quality too, isn't it?" She inspected the new vase.

"Mhmm." He agreed as he plopped down on bed in front of her, "my girlfriend picked that up for me."

YN blushed and rolled her eyes as she placed the glass display back to where it was, on the little coffee table beside his bed by the floor to ceiling window. "You can place these in the vase now."

"Right!" He plopped the arrangement of flowers in the vase for the time being. "Also got a bed finally. My back was fucking killing me on the air mattress."

"Is it fine now?" She enquired.

"The pain it a little better yeah, just that I haven't slept on the floor since I moved out." He giggled sheepishly.

Harry moved out when he got into college. The cheapest dorm he got did not come with a single piece of furniture, not even an air mattress. So he slept on the floor with a blanket for a week before he got the time to actually upgrade to an air mattress.

He continued to show her some more new things he got for a little bit, before he got her to unpack despite her saying there is no need to as she's only over for the weekend. But he still cleared out a small section for her in his walk-in closet there and helped her unpack, by placing her makeup and stuff she brought along in the bathroom.

He knows it's just the beginning, they've been dating for barely half a year but he still wishes to share half of everything he has with her. Maybe someday he'll get to do that too.

"There are some sanitary pads and everything to hopefully help you, decided to stock up just in case." He informed YN as she watched him make a whole new corner for her little travel sized skin care stuff, replicating his own.

"How did you know I got my period?" She was surprised.

"I didn't." He admitted, "always keep this stuff. My sister adviced me actually. Have got many friends who get their period and it's nice to have stuff for everyone in case they decided to crash in. And especially since I've got myself a girlfriend."

It was bare minimum, he would say, but YN hasn't had anyone doing the bare minimum for her. Like ever. You see, it made her cry her.

No, it's just her hormones being all over the place!

"Thank you so much, Haz!"

"Don't cry!" He cooed. "This is just bare minimum I can do for you, baby." A soft laugh was what she heard before she felt a kiss on her forehead. "You alright now?"

"Yeah, it's my period I promise I don't cry this often anymore." She sniffled.

"That's okay!" He giggled, "do you want to go have lunch now? Then we can cuddle and watch Office or maybe take a nap, yeah?"

"Mhmm."

......................................................................

YN and Harry ended up falling asleep after lunch. Both of them tired from long month and time away from one another.

His new bed was very comfy, YN figured that the moment she lied down and sleep was taking her in a bear hug. But that peaceful and much needed sleep of hers was disrupted rather quickly when her cramps woke her up. She barely managed to get out from under Harry's arm wrapped around her to make a run for the bathroom. But it was too late and it was a crime scene.

"Shit!" She mumbled to herself. Luckily her white tshirt was saved all throughout her cleaning herself up, despite cramps killing her she somehow managed to wash up her bloody pants and knickers and clean up after herself, halfway though, it was still going to be a struggle to get rid of the stains.

"YN? You alright?" There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Can I come in?"

"No!" She rushed, "I'm fine. I'm fine. Can, can you please get me a change of clothes clothes, I, I need to change, please?"

"Sure."

She could hear his footsteps pad towards the closet where she left her bag, it took him barely thirty seconds to get back to her which made her sure he made a mess of her perfectly organised duffle bag.

Harry knocked on the door again. He held back his giggles watching her just stick out her hand creaking the door open and shut it closed.

Harry saw a little spot on the bedsheet, so he got to change those. He was done changing up the sheets in barely five minutes as he hadn't got that many pillows on his bed yet. He was just about to load the sheet into washer but heard her gasp on the other side of the door to the bathroom.

"You alright, baby?" He asked.

"Yeah!" She sounded, "five minutes."

Oh boy, it's going to take her a long time. It's usual for herself to bleed so much on either the first or second day but she made a mess of his toilet. Plus she's got bloody panties to try and get rid of the stains so Harry doesn't see those. She's going to ruin his washer, it was a new one she reckoned. But she got herself dressed decent first.

"Baby, you alright in there?" She heard Harry again, "what's taking so long? Talk to me."

"I'm fine Harry, don't worry." She called.

Oh he does need to worry, she was already feeling nauseous and dizzy.

"No you're still worrying me baby, I know you've passed out on me one time while you were on your period." He reminded, "can I come in? I promise it's fine."

"No, it's-" she hissed feeling like her insides are being ripped out, "- it's okay. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Are you really sure?" He asked again as he could really hear her sobbing. "YN, I'm coming in now." He did not give her much time to pull herself together as he walked in. "What's wrong baby?" He found her cleaning her pants and knickers which just got ruined, clearly she was in a lot of pain.

"Hey, look at me." He held onto her wrists, "you look like you're in so much pain baby, let's get you to bed yeah?"

"But I need to clean-"

"Don't worry about that." He assured her, "come with me. It's okay, I promise."

"Let, let me wash my hands first."

He waited for her to wash up her hands before he walked her out to his bed, he tucked her in carefully.

"I'm going to get you some painkiller and something to eat and drink, okay?" He shared, "gimme five minutes." Placing a soft kiss on her cheek he jogged down stairs and came back quicker than he told her. He held a bunch of her favourite junk food, a bottle of water and painkillers.

"Harry, I need to wash up my clothes first."

"Don't worry, we'll just throw those into washer- separately if you wish. Just rest for now okay?" He assured her, "eat up before you take the medication. I'll go put up the sheets and your clothes in the washer."

"Wait, did I ruin your bedsheets." She started crying again, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Baby, it's okay. You can't control this. You don't have to stress about this." He assured her. "It'll come off in the washer, if not we'll buy a new one."

"I promise I'll buy you new ones, just throw those away." She panicked.

"It's alright, we don't need to throw them away." He kept reassuring her.

"It is going to ruin your washing machine!"

"Baby, honey, love, it's alright." He held onto both her hands, "look at me please?" And she obliged, "it's not going to ruin our washer, it's just a drop of blood, angel. I promise."

"No, you don't know, it, it broke one back, back at grandma's." She was having a full blown meltdown and a panic as she coked in between her rambling, yet she looked like she had no energy to even keep her eyes open.

"I'm sorry baby, but I am sure it wasn't because of that." Harry tried to be as calm as possible even though it made him furious. "I want you to lay down, or maybe take a nap yeah? I'm gonna go make us something to eat then we'll cuddle all day on the sofa and watch The Office again. We can eat these snacks later. How does that sound?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, "good."

"Okay, I love you!" He placed a delicate kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"I love you!" She squealed a little cry, as the corners of her mouth tugged down.

"No, no," he warned her softly, "take these meds now okay, I'll be up with breakfast in a few."

......................................................................

They did just what he decided on. Watched yet another re-run of The Office. YN practically laying on top of Harry curled up in a ball, dozing in an out of sleep. TV running on a super low volume.

"Baby?" He called, running his hand up and down her back.

"Hmm?"

"I don't know how to approach this, but, who told you that your stained clothes would break the washer?" He was just so confused.

"I did broke one, my aunty told me the one that broke, that broke back at her's was my, my fault," she was still sleepy but up to talk, "as she caught me washing my clothes in it."

"Well, that's clear bullshit you know?" He sighed, "it won't break anything. It's just blood. Tiny bit of blood. It's okay."

"Okay." She nodded sniffling, "I'm sorry, I've been having a hard time."

"I know, baby!" He placed a kiss on her temple, "you you can talk to me right?"

"Hmm." She sounded, "it's been very difficult, since, since you moved. I got used to seeing you everyday even if it was for five minutes. I don't want to be dependent on anyone, it just happened. You, you always calm me down and encourage me. I find it hard that we can't even talk on the phone."

"What if I tell you, I find it difficult to navigate life now too?" He suggested, "I've gotten so used to you spoiling me, making all these healthy foods and forcing me to explain you certain topics on a weekend. Quite frankly, I miss that a lot baby. You sure you don't want to move in with me yet?"

"Mhmm." She nodded again.

"Then we'll figure something out, to at least talk on a phone everyday, if we can't see each other in person." He made a plan, "we can face time and have dinner or lunch together. Or you can come over to my office if possible. It's not going to be easy but we can make it through, yeah?"

"Yeah, I like that idea." She agreed, "why did I bad to get into college so late! You graduated so early!"

He chuckled, "you got in at the right time for yourself, love, and I got out on right time. It's okay. You know we can get through this. Just three more semesters and then you're done."

"Please don't remind me!" She started crying again.

"No, no, no I'm sorry!" He cooed, "do you want to take a nap now?"

"Yeah, I'm sleepy."

"Gimme a kiss and we can go back our bedroom, it's more comfy there." He announced and she did. Lifting her head up she gave him a soft peck on his mouth before he was walking both of them back to the bedroom.

He made sure there was everything for her, a bottle of water, some dark chocolate bars, a hot water bag to help with her cramps and himself to cuddle beside her.

She's a bit sensitive, Harry had figured that out a long time ago but he's grown to love her.

"I'm sorry, I'm being little miss cry all day. I can't help it." She looked at him with a sad puppy face. But the choice of her words made him laugh softly.

"Where did you hear that? Little miss cry?"

"Don't laugh." She scoffed, "Beatrice has been teasing me all day, because I cried after messing up my presentation!"

"It's okay to mess up, you learn from your mistakes." He assured her, "and don't listen to her, she just likes to be mean to everyone. I love you. So much!"

"I love you!"

......................................................................

N O T E :

I almost had a little cuteness attack.

This was requested on Wattpad.

Pls lemme know how you liked this. You feedback really helps me keep motivated to write more.

......................................................................

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[hailthegodsong]

OUR LOVE IS BORN

Masterlist

Chapter 6 ~ Bad Day

Content Warnings: Exam stress, mentions of nightmares, descriptions of violence and injury from car accident, flirting, anxiety, anxiety attack, major anxiety, near car accident, reckless driving, dangerous driving, extreme anxiety, panic attack, hyperventilation, unintentional self-harm, blood, crying, disorientation, mentions of car accidents, comfort.

The next five weeks flew by, and before I knew it, we were trudging through the muddy depths of exam weeks.

Time was too scarce for sledding or picnics, and we were forced to watch the beauty of winter from indoors, studying for our exams.

The stress of it all was not helping with my nightmares, and I often found myself lying awake at night, unable to close my eyes and struggling to force out the feeling of asphalt against my cheek as I stared at the wreck of cars before me, thick red oozing from my body.

I thought I lost my leg after catching sight of the volume of blood spilling onto the floor beneath me.

The aching reminder had reappeared too, as I'd picked up my favourite pastime of running, which only worsened my condition, leaving me with discomfort every time I took a step.

Josh and I hadn't been speaking as much as we used to due to our busy schedules, and I began to realise that we only spoke on our drives to and from school.

I hadn't seen Mum for all five weeks. We never spoke after our fight, and the only way I knew she still came home after work was the evidence of a growing wine stash in one of the kitchen cupboards.

Dad and I however, were closer than ever, and prior to my busy study schedule, we spent a lot of time together baking, listening to music, and he occasionally joined me on a run.

Dad was also in a much better headspace, as he was shortly hired by a record company for work. He'd taken up golfing in his free time too, and I knew he'd made some friends doing it.

In essence, I was in a kind of middle space, between happy and miserable. Never quite fulfilled due to the raging thoughts that rampaged through my mind, yet comfortable with the idea that everyone around me was doing well.

It was an oddly warm day that we'd decided to go to the library to study. Josh, Jake, Sam and Danny were all keen on the exploring Saginaw for a day, with the guilt free justification that we were studying too.

Dad and Mum were going on a date night too, meaning I could stay out late and not face the wrath of a worried parent.

It was safe to say I was feeling exited.

I slipped on some black jeans, paired with a light grey half zip Ralph Lauren sweater, with a tote bag hanging from my shoulder. Bubbles of excitement boiled in my stomach, as I hadn't spent proper time with any of the boys in a while, and I couldn't wait to laugh with them all.

After checking that my bag had everything I needed one last time, I bounded down the stairs, bidding Dad a cheery goodbye and slipping on my shoes, before making my way across the path to their house.

I had braided my hair into two parts today, and I loved the way they looked draped over my shoulders, with small bows tied to the hair ties at the bottom, and stray hairs falling over my face.

The Kiszka house was chaos when I walked through the open door. Karen was screaming at one of the boys, and in the mess of movement I couldn't tell who. Sam and Jake were arguing over a shirt they both wanted to wear, and I assumed Josh was inside the bathroom that Ronnie was pounding a fist on angrily.

I stood awkwardly by the door, not wanting to intrude as I watched the madness unfold.

"Out of the kitchen right now or I'm burning that God-damned shirt so that neither of you can wear it!" Karens voice boomed through the house, and Sam and Jake came sulking towards my line of sight, still bickering under their breaths.

"And I'm older than you," Jake remarked, but Sam had noticed I was standing there and wandered over to me with a goofy smile on his face.

He threw an arm around my shoulder, "Layla, don't you think this shirt would look much better on me than Jake? I mean, the blue was just made for my beautiful, fair complexion," Sam lifted the denim blue shirt up between us, waving it around with exaggeration.

Jake threw a shooing hand up to Sam, "For fucks sake, just take it Sam, I don't even care," he huffed, before walking up to me and ruffling the hair on my head, sticking his tongue out and blowing a wet raspberry.

I glared at him and flattened my hair back down, "Gross."

He smirked as he sauntered off to his room.

"Josh, I swear to god if you spend one more minute-" Ronnies voice boomed down the hallway, as the click of the door sounded, and Josh walked out, smirking with a cocky hop in his step as he shimmied his shoulders in Ronnies face. After spotting me, his smile widened to his eyes and he make quick pace to reach me.

Danny rounded the corner, offering me a sweet smile which was shortly followed by a yawn, "I don't know how much study I'll be able to get done. I'm exhausted," he said, and I noticed the sleepy droop of his features.

"That's because you guys went to bed like, an hour ago," Josh commented, and I inferred that Danny must have slept over the night before.

Sam clapped and punched his fits outwards as he slipped on the blue shirt, leaving majority of the buttons undone, "Not me! I feel fresh as a daisy."

"You both better go to bed early tonight, I swear to god I can't deal with you keeping me up for two nights in a row," Josh complained sending them both a pointed look.

It took another half hour before all the boys were coordinated and ready, and finally, we piled down the highway towards Saginaw.

I sat in the backseat with Sam and Danny, and spent the ride watching the world pass by through the window, trying to distract myself from the familiar feeling of sitting in the backseat of a car, as the memory of my nightmare last night crept into my mind.

I occasionally caught Josh's eyes in the rear view mirror, but would quickly look away shyly.

Once we'd arrived, the group clambered into the library building, which had an old fashioned style to it. Antique wooden furniture littered the spaces, and rows of shelves were pressed against the walls.

I inhaled the comforting smell of books, and followed after the boys as they claimed a table to study on. I took a seat between Josh and Danny, before taking my laptop, notebooks and textbooks out of my bag to begin studying.

I was positive I got the most work done out of the group, as none of the boys could go longer than fifteen minutes without getting distracted by one another and becoming lost in conversation.

I was particularly deep in researching the metabolic rate of aerobic-based athletes, when someone tugged lightly on my plait. I looked up and realised that everyone had left the table. Books, pens and laptops were scattered over the table in a mess of knowledge, but every seat was empty.

I tossed my head around aimlessly, hoping to spot them all by the bookshelves, but nobody was there, save for an older man who was flipping through a worn, brown book in a leather seat nearby.

Deciding I was too busy with schoolwork to join in their childish games, I turned back to my work and typed notes onto my laptop, highlighting a few things here and there from my papers on the desk.

Another soft pull on my braid had me huffing in frustration, pausing the quick movements of my hands to turn around. Josh's retreating body, which I assumed was attempting to be swift and sneaky made me huff out a laugh, along with the sight of the boys peeking out from behind the bookshelves, clearly over studying and enjoying their time annoying me instead.

I sent a glare their way, and went back to my work, hoping that this time they knew I was serious.

About five minutes later, someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I whipped around angrily.

"I swear to God, Josh-" I whisper-yelled. Yet the face I was met with when I looked up wasn't Josh. And it wasn't any of his brothers either. Instead, the girl I had met on my first day of school stood beside me, a look of shock and regret on her face.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" I rushed out, still trying my best to keep my voice at a minimum in the void silence of the room. "I thought you were someone else, it's great to see you again...Aanya, was it?" I asked, sending her a look of apology.

She smiled warmly, "That's okay, and yes that's me, Layla, right?" she asked and I nodded. "Well I was just coming to ask if you could help explain something for me for the art exam... but if you're busy I totally get that, I don't want to ruin your flow or anything."

"No, no, no, you're totally fine," I said, pulling Josh's chair out from next to me and gesturing for her to sit down. I pulled out my art books and got the documents up on my laptop, "What did you need help with?"

We spent the next ten minutes discussing the art exam, and another ten minutes sketching out ideas as I tried my best to explain to her the concept of constructing form. As we spoke, I realised how nice it was to talk to another girl in our year, seeing as I hadn't made any friends yet, other than the Kiszka's. Her girly comments made me feel giddy and exited, and I realised very quickly how nice of a girl she was.

Both of us zoned out once we had began sketching, becoming intensely involved with the pen on paper, a sense of meditative relaxation and peace washing over me in the silence of the room and my mind. That was, until a pair of hands landed on my shoulders making me jerk upwards and streak a line of lead across the white of my paper. Aanya's head popped up in surprise too.

"When were you gonna introduce us to your friend?" Josh's voice drifted next to my ear.

I turned around and smiled at him, "Oh hey, this is Aanya. Aanya, this is Josh."

Aanya said a quick 'hello' and Josh smiled kindly at her, before all the other boys made their way over, disrupting our silent peace completely. Everyone introduced themselves in a quick flurry of names, that I was sure Aanya would not remember.

"Wow this is great, did you draw it?" Danny asked, picking up Aanya's paper.

"Oh yeah," she quickly snatched it from his hand and placed it facedown on the desk, "It doesn't look to great cause it's not finished yet," she blushed.

His eyebrows furrowed, "No way, that was amazing, you're very talented," he replied softly and Aanya blushed. I glanced at Josh with my eyebrows raised and he looked down at me, still leant on my chair with his hands, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Righty then are we gonna get the hell outta here or what?" Sam spoke suddenly, clapping his hands together.

"Yeah, it's so sad in here I'm getting depressed," Jake commented, running a lazy hand over his face.

I laughed a little but bit my lip, "I just wanted to write a few more notes for my English essay, I promise I wont be long," I said, turning back to my desk and opening up my laptop again. The others moved off huffing, but I could feel Josh's presence behind me still.

He placed his warm hands on my shoulders and began to massage, kneading out the tightness of my muscles, and nearly making me drop my head forward in pleasure.

He leaned down close to my ear, "Don't you think you've worked hard enough for one day?"

I somehow managed to mumble an ‘uh-uh’as I shook my head side to side, struggling to move my fingers across the keyboard.

"C'mon. You overwork yourself too much, lets go buy some cool shit," he gave my shoulders one more releiving squeeze before shaking me to regain my consciousness.

I shook my head to refocus, and sucked in a deep breath, "Okay fine, lets go." The boys all rushed to pack up their things, and I stretched over the back of my chair, hitting a particularly blissful spot on my back.

"Wanna come with us?" I asked Aanya, who had resumed her drawing, "We're gonna go around to some thrift shops I think, just explore the city a bit."

She contemplated it for a moment, her eyes flicking over to the group of guys, catching on Danny, who as if on queue looked up to her stare, before she quickly looked back at me with a blush.

"I don't know..." she trailed off shyly.

I smiled, "I'd love for you to come, please? It would be nice to have another girl around for once." We both laughed and she agreed, packing up with the rest of us and following as we all piled out of the building.

"Sun!" Josh yelled once we had stepped onto the street, his arms reaching up into the air, and head tilted back as if he was having a spiritual cleansing. I laughed, and made my way next to him for the short walk to the first shop we encountered.

It was a small, minimalist style business, with an eerie silence, and the air conditioning on far too cold. They sold trinkets like hair clips, and belt buckles and scarves, but the boys didn't last long in the noise quashing environment, and we were soon back out on the street.

We stopped by a small sandwich vendor for lunch, standing in almost complete silence in the street as we all stuffed our faces with replenishments before setting off again.

The next shop we visited seemed much more promising. It was a small hole in the wall, with an archway entrance. I was immediately met with dim lighting, scarves and other sheets hung and strewn around the ceilings and walls, wrapping around the warm, buzzing lightbulb. The unmistakable voice of Jim Morrison was playing softly through a speaker somewhere, and I could hear some metal chimes tinkle from the wind in the doorway.

The man at the counter lifted his head at our presence, and I admired his curly head of hear and mustache. I wondered if Josh would ever grow a mustache like that.

"Hey guys, can I help you with anything today?" he asked.

"We're just gonna have a browse if that's aright," Jake responded, and the worker nodded, smiling kindly before retuning to whatever task he was working on.

The shop was small, yet we all naturally drifted apart to look at seperate sections, and I soon found myself lost in a rack of clothes, with a pile of jackets, tops and jeans thrown over my forearm.

"What do you think about this one?" Josh asked, and I turned to my left to see him smiling brightly, with a thick red beanie mounded on his head with a few of his little curls peeking out the edges.

I scrunched my nose up, unable to contain a smile, "So cute, Joshy," I reached over and grabbed a chunk of his smily cheek like a grandma. He shook me off playfully, laughing as he slipped the beanie off his head and fitted it onto my own. I posed in front of him, putting on my sharpest model face ironically.

He took a step back with his hands propped on his hips as if to admire his work, "Wow. There is no way this beanie isn't going home with you."

I smiled, "Does it look good?" I asked, wandering over to the small mirror situated in the corner of the shop.

"You look beautiful in it," he said quietly, and I watched in the mirror as he peeked up from behind me, his hand hesitating to touch my arm as it hovered absently beside it. I smiled into the reflection, unable to take my eyes off Josh and wishing he would just reach out and touch me.

"Layla! Do you think this dress would fit me?" I heard Aanya call from the other side of the room. I awkwardly smiled at Josh, slipping the beanie off and placing it back into his hands before making my way over.

After a rough hour in the same shop, we left with a bag of clothes each, smiling like children at our buys, as we made our way down the crowded street.

"I can't believe those boots were in my size. I saved a ton," Aanya remarked, in reference to a pair of white cowboy boots that she was going to spend a hefty amount of money on online.

"I know, you're so lucky you hadn't bought the expensive pair online already," I answered, squinting as we walked towards the bright sun.

"Yeah... I can't wait to see you wear that white dress, you looked like Stevie Nicks reincarnated," she joked.

"Which dress?" Josh asked, shamelessly eavesdropping on our conversation.

"I'll show you later," I said, only hearing how domestic the statement sounded after the words had escaped my lips. I blushed, looking away to the busy road beside us.

I watched in silence as the cars drove by on the street while the others talked beside me. And as if the universe was out to get me, I caught sight of a car which recklessly merged into another cars lane without indication, almost causing an accident.

It was insignificant and unnoticeable if you weren't paying attention, so nobody paid it any mind but me. A pit of anxiety began to swirl in my stomach and something inside me tensed. It took everything in me to force the negative thoughts from my mind, trying my hardest to ignore the ache in my thigh.

"Alrighty, next stop!" Sam yelled as he swiftly turned into another shop perched on the corner of the street. Stepping in, I sighed at the sight of vinyl shelves, which reached down into the long, hearty depth of the store. A few others mingled already in the isles, as we excitedly made our way through them.

I found it interesting to watch which genre called to everyone, as Danny was drawn to the folk section, Sam to the jazz, Jake to the rock, Aanya to the alternative.

Josh remained glued to my side, "So, where do you wanna look at first?" he asked.

"Oh, you don't have to follow me," I urged, feeling guilty that I may be keeping him from his own interests.

He smiled, "I want to." He placed a hand on the small of my back and gestured a hand forward, "Lead the way."

Josh and I exhausted the blues genre within minutes, each with a couple of sleeves tucked under our armpits as we made our way to the next section.

"No way, I've been looking for this everywhere," Josh exclaimed, pulling out a yellow and black vinyl from the shelves.

I wandered over to hm, looking at it curiously, "What is it?" I asked.

"It's this band called Amanaz, this is the only album they ever did called Africa. Some great stuff on here," he said excitedly, slipping it under his arm. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, nodding to the vinyl in my hand.

I held a finger out towards him, indicating he had to wait a moment, as my face contorted grotesquely and I shot out a muffled sneeze into the corner of my arm.

I sniffed and apologised before I lifted it up in front of us, "It's a Lynard Skynard album I've not heard of before. I'm trying to decide if I should risk the buy or not," I pondered. Josh took the vinyl from my hand, flipping to the back and reading contents.

He rose his eyebrows and nodded his head, "Theres a few songs I recognise on here, I say buy it."

I winced, "But I've already got three I wanna buy, and I don't wanna go over my budget. I'll just have to chose one to get rid of," I said bashfully, a bit embarrassed of my very low bank balance.

Josh hummed, "Let me know which ones you end up going for." He then resumed his casual browsing of the store.

In the next ten minutes, I had sneezed about twelve times, and was starting to get very annoyed.

"Are you alright? You're not sick, are you?" Josh asked after I sneezed again as we made our way into an isle that Jake was in, filtering through a rack of vinyl.

"Yeah, no I feel totally fine, it's just my nose, I don't now what's up with it," I said, squeezing my nose with my fingers to try and ease some of the itchiness.

"Hey," Jake said once we were next to him. I returned to looking through the albums, when Jake's obnoxiously loud sneeze gave me a fright.

"My God, do you really need to sneeze so loud?" I asked, looking around to see if anyone heard.

"Sorry," he said bashfully, "The dust in here is really pissing me off."

Josh patted us both on our shoulders, "Hmm Layla, you must be allergic to dust then."

I furrowed my eyebrows at his comment, "What? No I'm not."

"Jakey is though, and you've both been sneezing like lunatics since we got in here," he commented. They both looked at me with a knowing stare and I sniffled.

"That sucks I thought I wasn't allergic to anyth-" I interrupted myself with another sneeze.

"Okay, lets get out of here," Josh stated, dragging us both along with him to the payment counter. I had ended up putting my Lynyrd Skynyrd vinyl back, and opted for my original pick of three, paying the polite cashier, before letting Jake do the same. Josh had gone to collect Sam, Danny and Aanya, and returned back moments later with them all, the boys with a pile of at least ten records each.

In fact, the volume of all of their purchases made me begin to wonder how much they must be getting paid at their small gigs.

Once we'd left the store, we all decided that we had had enough for the day and were ready to go home, however, the boys needed to stop by the grocery store to buy some ingredients for dinner.

I bid goodbye to Aanya, promising to find her on Monday for art class that we apparently had together unknowingly. She smiled shyly at the rest of the boys before leaving, and I didn't miss the pink tinge on Danny's smiley cheeks when she told them she'd see them on Monday too.

We decided to drive the distance to the grocery shops, not wanting to have to carry the bags across Saginaw to where we had parked, and despite the familiarity of having Josh drive me around, I felt a surge of anxiety at the thought of being in the car.

Josh insisted that I sat in the front seat this time, and as I clipped on my seatbelt, I found myself needing to take deep breaths to calm my racing heart. My nails picked at one another while everyone got in and buckled up for the ride, and as we pulled out of the parking lot, I had to force myself to look at my hands in fear of seeing a moving vehicle outside and setting off a panic attack.

All I could picture in my mind was the near accident I had witnessed, and my mind morphed the memory to show a horrific scene of a violent accident.

"You alright over there?" Josh asked, and I glanced up at him slightly, unable to form a coherent string of words, as I merely nodded my head and sent him a tight lipped smile. My jaw was tight and my leg bounced in the seat.

I felt terrible, knowing it was close to impossible for Josh to not see that something was wrong, which was completely unfair to him. He had done nothing to make me afraid in the car with him, yet my nerves were firing mercilessly, my mind going haywire.

I felt the ghost of an ache in my thigh, teasing me, like my body was testing its own mental limits. My fingers tightly kneaded into the muscles, desperately trying to reach the bone where the ache stemmed from.

Regrettably, my eyes wandered to the windscreen, where the car piled down a busy road, other vehicles passing our left and I was unable to look away, fixated on the traffic in fear of collision.

The music in the car swelled, and the volume of speech in the car rose, and my heart thrummed in my ears. I missed the days that I could sit in a car without worries, feeling safe enough to relax and enjoy myself.

That part of me had been ruined.

"You coming?" Josh's words broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked around to find we were already parked in the grocery parking lot. I could see the rest of the group walking into the store.

I must have dissociated for the rest of the ride.

"Yep," I choked out, quickly jumping out of the car and speeding towards the store. I could feel Josh following silently behind me, concern radiating from his body.

I ignored him, keeping my head down and following after the group of boys in the store.

My mind ran through the lists of anxiety and PTSD coping mechanisms I was given by my post trauma therapist in Australia, yet it seemed that all I could focus on was the sensation of being trapped in a flipped car, blood rushing to and out of my head.

"Reckon Mums gonna check the receipt?" Sam asked the group, "We could sneak some snacks in here, I doubt she'd realise," a sly smile playing at his lips. Jake smacked the back of his head.

At some point during the shopping trip, Danny stood beside me, where I had a safety gap between me and the group, feeling overwhelming bouts of anxiety for the car ride home.

He crooked his body down slightly to reach his head closer to my height, "You doin' alright?" he whispered.

I swallowed and nodded, my body conflicting between not wanting to worry anyone, but having no energy to fake my emotions anymore.

He spoke again, caution lacing his words, "Sammy gets... really bad anxiety sometimes," he started, and I turned my head to him slightly, indicating I was listening. "Like, really bad. "

He paused. "I don't know if that's what's going on here, but if you want to talk to someone, or need help, he's definitely the one to go to."

My head swam. Sam has anxiety? He was one of the most relaxed and carefree people I'd ever met.

"Of course we're all here to help, or talk, or whatever you need... but, just keep that in mind," he slipped back to the group silently, and I took a deep breath.

The boys didn't waste much more time shopping, and we were soon seated back inside the car, which now felt stuffy and uncomfortable. Everyone began chatting and Jake stuck his head to the front and leant his forearms on the back of Josh and my seats so that he and Josh could chat.

My eyes were locked on the road ahead of us, and I found myself frequently pressing my foot into the empty space at my feet, when I felt like Josh wasn't breaking quickly enough.

I felt incredibly bad doubting his driving skills, although the thrum of my heart and whizzing in my mind had me absolutely immobilised in fear.

"You alright over there?" someone asked, and I looked over to see Jake looking at me, and Josh sending me short glances, his eyes trained mostly on the road.

"Yes," I said tightly, to both of them, not knowing which had asked the question. "You know, you should really put a seatbelt on," I said to Jake, anxiously watching his positioning between us both.

He smiled, ruffling the hair on top of my head before landing his hand gently on my shoulder, "You sure you're okay? You seem a bit tense."

I swallowed and sent him my most convincing smile, bile rising in my throat each time I took my eyes off the road.

"Yes," I said, my voice cracking embarrassingly.

"Holy fuck," Josh spat, and I whipped my head to the road before us.

I braced my hands on the dashboard in front of me, as Josh slammed on his breaks, narrowly avoiding the red pickup truck which had decided to run his red light into the intersection. Jake nearly fell forward into my seat, and I heard Danny and Sam fall into the back of Josh and my seats.

Josh leaned out the window and flipped him off, yelling profanities as the pickup drove away carelessly.

"What the fuck!" Someone yelled.

While the rest of the car complained and cursed, I couldn't manage to tear my eyes from the road before us, where our cars would have collided, had Josh not stopped.

"Are you fuckin' serious?"

"What a fucking prick."

"I swear to God, it's always the pickup drivers, think they own the whole road."

Jake plopped back into his seat in the back, and I heard the boys click their seatbelts in, clearly shaken from the risk of being in an accident.

"Is everyone alright?" Josh asked, looking through the rear view at the three in the back. I didn't hear their responses. My hearing went fuzzy. I'd been submerged under a body of water.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but we were moving again. The car had gone quiet. Or maybe it hadn't, but I couldn't hear anything.

My stomach churned, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying to focus on something in particular, but everything was happening. But nothing was happening too. My nails were digging into the soft flesh of my palm, and I forced myself to take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the oxygen I'd been depriving them of since the car had stopped.

My jaw was clenched so tight, I could imagine the sound of my teeth as they ground together, crumbling under each others weight and falling lose in my mouth.

I was going to be sick.

Josh was talking to me, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I could see his mouth moving in my peripheral, and he even placed a hand on my thigh at one point. I knew he was trying to get my attention, but I couldn't pull my consciousness from that deep, dark place in my head.

I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe.

I glanced down at my stomach, at where I knew a scar lay, sheathed beneath clothing. I looked further to my thigh, where a metal rod sat, invisible under layers of muscle, blood and skin.

I could smell the ghost of blood. My chest rose and fell, yet it felt like the water I'd been submerged under was filling them up slowly.

My breathing shallowed immensely around the time we turned the corner onto our street.

I knew I was about to have a panic attack. I had had them before, but never with so many people around. I was dying to go inside and break down. Alone.

The moment the car stopped in front of my house, I swung the door open, muttering a thanks, and shutting it behind me before speeding up the path to my porch. My breaths came out quick and uncontrolled, and someone grabbed my arm behind me. I couldn't breathe.

I was going to be sick. I was going to be sick all over me and all over Josh and all over the pavement below us.

"Layla, what's going on?" Josh was in front of me, and I couldn't bear the look on his face. My hands landed on my head, tugging at the roots of my hair.

"Nothing, I-" My breath caught in my throat. Panicked, my eyes widened and I tried to take a breath in, but I couldn't. My lungs were full of lead. There wasn't any space left.

My hand shot to my throat, as my lungs begged me for air.

Disorientated and panicked, I stumbled backwards and my back hit something but I didn't feel it as I slid down onto the floor.

I couldn't breathe.

"Fuck," Josh spoke, dropping down to my level. He touched my hands, my face, my arms, trying his hardest to comfort me. "What can I do, Layla?"

I couldn't speak. I was going to pass out, my head going fuzzy with the lack of oxygen.

Then Josh was gone, and Sam was in front of me. Pain was radiating from my scalp as I ripped at the roots of my hair.

"Okay Layla, can you hear me?" Sam asked, his hands reaching up to my own and removing them from their assault on my hair.

I nodded, "Sa-Sam," I gasped, "I- I can't-"

"It's okay, you don't need to talk, you're finding it hard to breathe?" He asked.

I could smell blood again, and when I looked down at my hands I could see drops of it falling from my palm, crescent moon marks from my nails embedded in them. I nodded in response, feeling bile rise in my throat, the smell of blood clawing out my darkest memories. Memories I would give anything to forget.

"Can you try and take a deep breath out for me?" He asked. I was gasping for air now, trying my hardest to let air into my lungs. Sam watched me intently, "Stop trying to breathe in, you need to make space in your lungs for the air first."

My vision was going blurry with panic. I could only see Sam's face. I could smell blood. I couldn't hear anyone but him. Where had everyone gone? My chest felt tight, I couldn't breathe. My eyes were glued to my hands, blood dipping onto the wooden deck below.

"Layla. Look at me," Sam ordered, his hands on the sides of my face, "Concentrate."

His stern tone brought me back for a moment.

"Breathe out with me," he said, opening his mouth and letting a long deep breath out. I tried to do the same, regaining control of my lungs and huffing out a short breath, only to sharply inhale again, my lungs burning for air.

"Good. Again, just a bit longer this time," he instructed gently, repeating his actions, and as if an elastic band had been released from my windpipe, my shoulders dropped, and a heave of air left my lungs. I gasped in a breath, panting heavily at the function of my lungs, and collapsed forward into him, a sob falling from my lips. He wrapped me up in his arms tightly, and began to rock us back and forth gently on the floor.

"Breathe, that's it, just breathe," he whispered.

My hands shook as I held them close to my body. Taking a clearer look at the world now, I could tell that it was around sunset, and as the sun had set behind the trees, the air had dropped to a cooler chill.

Not much time passed when the pressure in my ears had released and I could hear the sound of both my own and Sam's breaths in the silence of the empty world we sat in.

I lifted my head from his chest, and he released his arm around me. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, smiling sheepishly at him, and muttered a small apology. He only shook his head.

We both sat on the concrete floor, and I untucked my legs to sprawl them out before us, while Sam copied.

"Danny, um... Danny told me you would be able to help," I said quietly, "He said you get anxiety..."

He looked out to the street, as if deep in thought before speaking, "Yeah, it can get pretty bad sometimes."

I placed my hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry. And thank you, so much for that, I don't- I don't know what I was going to do..." I said aimlessly.

He cleared his throat, and looked over at me, "It's okay," he smiled sweetly. "Did something cause it? Or..."

I sighed. It was my turn to look out at the street now. I could feel him looking at me for an answer, so I merely nodded my head, before letting it drop forward limply, exhausted with everything.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked quietly. As much as I wanted to say no, I was tired of keeping it to myself. I needed to tell someone. The secret was eating me from the inside and I desperately wanted to get it off my chest.

So, I nodded quickly, "Yes please." I glanced over to him, "If you don't mind."

I could have guessed something was up with Layla the moment we got into the car. Her avoidant stares and fiddling hands served as an immediate warning that something was wrong.

Though, once we'd exited the car, she seemed okay again, her anxiety only fluctuating in spurs, rendering me useless in trying to help her.

I began to feel truely worried once we reached the grocery store. Never had I seen her so... absent.

She wasn't speaking, and I could see the tremor in her hands which she had balled into tight fists. It was common for her to tuck her hair behind her ears when she was nervous or anxious too, and I caught her reaching up to brush away hair that wasn't even there from her face.

Every fibre of my being wanted to hold her, help her, calm her. It broke me to see her like that, and all I could do was sit by uselessly and watch.

After the near accident at the intersection, I knew she was going to break. I tried to speak to her, distract her, take her attention away from whatever was going on in her head, yet her mind seemed trapped in a place very far away.

"Layla, what's going on?" I would ask, even going as far as to place my hand on her thigh, shaking gently to catch her attention. But it was to no avail.

"Please, talk to me, are you okay?" I asked. Luckily, the boys had taken notice to Laylas mood, and distracted themselves with talk of the band and upcoming concerts, allowing me to feebly try my hardest to help her without worrying about prying ears.

Frustrated, and trying my absolute hardest to get through to her, I worriedly glanced into the rear view mirror where I made eye contact with Jake, who looked back at me in understanding, having heard my efforts.

Soon, we rounded the corner to our street, and Layla burst from her seat before I had the chance to fully stop the car. I jumped out of my seat and ran after her as she sped down the path to her house. I could hear her heaving breaths from behind her, and my own anxiety increased tenfold.

I took hold of her hand, and she whipped around, eyes red and wide, and her chest was having in panic.

"Layla, what's going on?" I asked worriedly. She looked everywhere but at me, eyes darting to he road and car, and then to the floor. She grabbed the roots of her hair and held tightly, wild strands of it falling around her arms and face.

"Nothing, I-" Her breath caught.

She was having a panic attack. A bad one. I had been around while Sam went through this many times, but never one this bad. She struggled to take in a breath, focusing on inhaling and clearly neglecting a much needed exhale.

One of her hands shot to her throat and she stumbled back into the pillar of her porch steps, hitting her head painfully. Yet she didn't seem to notice, as she slid to the floor, gasping for air.

"Fuck," I whispered, dropping down to my knees before her. I reached out for her, touching her arms and face and, fuck, I didn't know what I was doing. She wasn't breathing and I feared she was going to pass out any moment.

"What can I do, Layla?" I asked frantically, her eyes going cloudy with exhaustion.

I grasped onto her shoulders firmly, "Please just breathe, Layla." But she wasn't listening. Panicked, I turned around to find Jake behind me, but I knew by the helpless look on his face, he wouldn't be much better at helping than I.

Sam lingered with Danny by the car, clearly hesitating to intrude.

"Sam!" I yelled desperately and he stepped in quickly, practically pushing me out of the road, and taking Layla's harsh hands away from her hair.

"Okay Layla, can you hear me?" He asked gently.

She nodded, trying to speak through gasps, "Sa-Sam, I- I can't-"

I was torn. My heart aching at the sight of her, broken and fragile. Blood was on her hands, I didn't know how, but there was. And then Sam was waving the group of us off, but I didn't want to leave. I couldn't leave her.

He turned around briefly, "Go, she needs space." Jake took me by the arm and led me to the car where our pile of groceries sat.

We picked them up in silence and walked them over to our house, unlocking the door and entering the warmth of the home. Mom was in the kitchen, cooking up dinner when we unloaded the groceries into the fridge and pantry.

I rushed to one of the living room windows, the one that didn't look into Laylas kitchen, but instead had a view of the front of her house, where I could see the figures of Sam and Layla sat on the pavement.

I sat on the couch and leaned my arms on its back, peering out and watching them. She seemed to have calmed down now, her body still as she looked out to the street apart from her mouth which was moving silently. Sam was doing the same, yet it looked like he was listening to whatever she had to say.

A pang of jealousy shot through me and I hated myself for it. But I couldn't help but wish she would talk to me too.

Jake and Danny saddled up to the couch next to me, and one of them patted me on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, she's alright," Jake said. But we both knew my sour mood surpassed worry for her, as I ached to know the root of her unhappiness.

Don't get me wrong, I felt like I was being torn from head to toe at the idea of her being upset, sad, worried, panicked or afraid. But her apparent inability to fully open up to me was killing me.

I knew she was hiding something. Something from her past. I had seen the scar on her stomach, and the way she frequently rubbed her thigh, wincing in pain. But she would always cover up, and mask her discomfort when she caught me staring, and I hated it.

My insides were screaming for her to open up. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to know every inch of her mind, her body, her soul.

And it broke me to know that she didn't trust me enough to do so.

After a painful hour of waiting around with Danny and Jake in the living room, I heard the front door open. All three of our heads whipped at the sound to watch as Sam stepped in with what I could only describe as a look of sympathy. Layla followed behind him timidly, her head cast down, but eyes peeking up around the room.

I stood up from my spot on the couch, desperate to do something. To talk to her. To hold her.

Mom stepped into the room at the sound of the door and smiled brightly when she saw Layla.

"Oh, hello Layla dear, are you joining us for dinner tonight?" she asked, slipping off a pair of oven gloves.

Layla nervously glanced up at Sam, whose eyes caught mine for a beat before he spoke, "Hey Mom, actually, could Layla stay the night? Her parents aren't home and-"

"Of course! I don't have to be the only woman in the house dealing with you lot," she remarked, and Layla smiled.

"Thank you," she said kindly.

Mom walked out of the room and back into the kitchen and the room went quiet.

"Sam, wanna head up and you can show me the new headset you got?" Danny asked, dragging Sam along with him up the stairs, and Jake stood too, scratching the back of his head.

"I've uh, got some stuff to do," he said plainly, walking out of the room, leaving Layla and I standing alone, staring at each other.

In a blink she was in my arms, both of us having rushed to close the space between us. She clung to me tightly, and I breathed in her scent, swaying on the spot. I sighed at the feeling of her in my arms again.

When she pulled away, I took her hands and looked down at the blood on them. Frowning, I narrowed my gaze on the bloody crescent shapes on her palm, where her nails had dug so harshly into her hands that she had broken skin.

"I can help you clean this up... If you'd like," I offered timidly, unsure of how fragile she still was and not wanting to spur on another panic attack.

"Yes please," she whispered.

Once in the bathroom, I wet a rag and wiped off the blood from her hands, including the dried drops that had ran down her forearms. She winced when I accidentally ran the rag across one of the fresh cuts.

"Sorry," I said, pulling back and looking at her.

She sighed deeply, staring at me in silence for a few moments, looking as if she was around to burst.

"I'm so sorry Josh. I don't know what happened I just- I don't know. I can usually handle them better it just- the car and, fuck it was all just a lot, but thank you for being there," she blurted out, her expression close to tears.

I reached a hand up to her face where streak of dried tears marked her cheeks, "Please don't apologise." She nodded.

"Are you okay now? Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, and when she shook her head 'no', I frowned.

"I'm okay now, but.. I kind of want to forget it happened."

"That doesn't sound very healthy," I commented, smirking, and she smiled at me.

"Do you think your mum will let me get away with not having dinner?" she asked and my frown returned.

"Why don't you want dinner?" I asked back.

"I just feel a little sick still. I usually lose my appetite when... that happens."

"Does it happen a lot?" I asked and she looked away, biting her lip gently.

"No, not a lot. But sometimes,” she said quietly, clearly done with this conversation. I guess that was all I was getting out of her tonight then.

"I'll talk to her. But it'd be best if you keep yourself busy while we eat. I don't think she could live with herself if you sat at the table with an empty plate," I told her.

She laughed a little, and then sighed, "I love your mum." A flicker of sadness crossed her face, before she regained her composure again, "I'll take a shower while you all eat then."

Dinner went by quickly, and I practically inhaled my plate to get away from the table as soon as I could. Mom wasn't happy with Laylas absence, but I assured her that it was for the best. I had given Layla some of my pyjamas for her to use for the night, and as soon as I heard the shower turn off, I was dying to see her.

When I cleaned up my dish and left the kitchen, Layla was setting up some sheets and pillows on the couch.

"What are you doing?" I asked her. She had tied her hair up and she stood in some red plaid pants with a green hoodie on top.

My God was she beautiful.

"Getting ready for bed?" She questioned, fluffing up the pillow and seating herself onto the couch atop the duvet cover.

"No, no I can't let you sleep out here. Sleep in my bed, I'll sleep here," I insisted.

"I don't mind," she smiled, slipping under the covers.

I dragged a hand down my face, very unhappy with these sleeping arrangements. "What about the guest room?" I smiled, proud to have solved the issue.

"Your mom told me it was being repainted," she commented.

"Fuck, you're right. Ronnies room?" I tried again.

"I already texted her, she'll be home in about thirty minutes. Don't worry, Josh. I'm fine, really." She gave me a reassuring smile, but I still wasn't happy.

I pursed my lips, "I'll come down here too then."

"What?" She asked, but I was already gone, grabbing a thick yoga mat from my room, and stripping the covers from my bed to bring down with me. Ignoring Layla's protests, I set up a makeshift bed on the floor beside the couch, slipping under and getting comfortable.

"Far out, fine. But when you wake up in the morning with a bad back, don't blame me," she commented, and I smiled, glad her witty personality was back.

Jake came in for a glass of water, bidding us both goodnight as he switched off the light.

Cloaked in darkness, I rolled over toward the couch, looking up to where Layla was already looking at me, "Good night, Layla," I whispered.

"Goodnight Josh."

Tag List ~ @wrldabomination @peaceoftheland @asacredthebread @jessiebronze2 @godly-sinsx

[ghoul-slime]

Pictures with Jutty and a (too long) recap under the cut!

Ok first of all WOW, what a weekend. I flew into NYC and met up with @papaslittlesunshine a day before the show. We hung out around the city and did all sorts of fun things, ate good food, and did our best not to melt in the heat and humidity. The day of the show it was raining pretty hard, so we showed up to the line about an hour or so before doors, but the venue was super small and we still ended up getting great spots a few rows of people back.

I'm once again blown away by how great these guys sound live. The guitars are so much heavier and louder than the studio recording and Jutty's vocals are fucking outstanding. It's a completely different experience. Speaking of Jutty, his stage presence is amazing. He'll make (and hold!) eye contact with you a bunch and you can tell he's having a great time and knows exactly what he's doing and how to work the crowd. He also did the as above, so below sign with his hand again before he went off stage, same as he did at the LA show.

Afterwards the guys all hung around the venue and took the time to talk to everyone. It seriously seemed like they must have met just about every single person who came out.

Ross was super cool and easy to talk to, he signed my vinyl and asked if I was coming to the following night's show. I told him I had to go back to LA and he gave me a sad little pat on the arm, which was funny and sweet. Matty was working the merch table. He'd come out of the backstage area after about 10 minutes and realized that they actually had nobody behind the counter selling merch, so he jumped in. He was super nice as well. I told him how great they sounded live and he said thank you. I bought a tote bag and he signed my record and told me very excitedly that the tote bags fit the vinyl records perfectly (he was so excited he told me the same thing again later that night haha.) He also gave me a little handful of DT pins.

I chatted with Hayden the longest, who was SUPER sweet, and very easy to talk to! We talked about living in LA and he said LA was his favorite city in the world, which made me super happy to hear. He told me he lives downtown and I told him I work in the same area and that I live in Koreatown and we talked a bit more about our favorite neighborhoods in the downtown area. He mentioned his dogs and I told him that his dogs were super cute and then he asked if he could show Sunny and I a picture! Of course we said, yes please do! It was a picture of one of his little dogs laying in his open luggage and it was EXTREMELY freaking cute. He said that he'd been asking his dog sitter to send him pictures while he was away, and I said I'd similarly been pestering my friend for pictures of my cats all weekend. He signed my vinyl and I totally forgot to ask for a picture (but that's more than ok).

After that I went outside and there was a line of about 20-30 people waiting to talk to Jutty. Despite there being so many people (and it starting to rain), he took his time talking and listening to everyone who came up to him. The person in front of me in line had made some incredible pieces of art and gifted them to him, and he was just so genuinely excited and in awe and grateful. It was so cool to get to see that exchange. When it was my turn I was fucking nervous as hell, but I talked to him for a short few minutes and gave him a couple of the keychains I'd brought to trade. He said he loved collecting trinkets and then we talked a bit about NY being a refreshing change of scenery from LA. Honestly I was VERY nervous meeting him, but he was incredibly sweet and very attentive. Talking to him is intense, he maintains eye contact with you and listens very carefully to what you have to say. He was so nice and patient and then was sweet enough to sign my record and take a picture with me. (Thank you Sunny for taking the photos!)

We also managed to snag Neil real quick to sign our records as he was heading to the bar across the street and tell him thank you. I also chatted for a bit with the singer from Silent Mass, the opening band, who was originally from LA and we talked about some of the differences between LA and NY.

Overall the entire experience was incredible. Just as good if not better than the first show in LA. I'm also SUPER grateful to Sunny for pushing me to be less shy when it came to meeting/chatting with the guys. If it wasn't for her I'm sure I'd have chickened out and just left! It was also incredible getting to meet so many cool people in line and after the show. I traded keychains and got a lot of cool things in return. Seriously, we met so many creative, cool, funny, and GENEROUS people there (our line neighbor's mom gave us freaking COOKIES from Katz's across the street!). If you were at the show and see any of your goodies here (the picture is most of Sunny and I's combined haul), then thank you so much!!! I will treasure them always.

Here's to a hundred more Drag Talk shows in the future! I seriously hope anyone who wants to see them gets to, because it was such a fun and uplifting experience, between how gracious and genuine and down-to-earth the guys are and how creative and warm all the fans are. Hands down one of the all-time best live music experiences I've ever had.

(This got super long and I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of stuff, but I wanted to get this out of my head while it's still somewhat fresh.)

[canidkid]

i saw that you have brett hand agere headcanons and as a trauma kin seeking comfort i’m going to have to ask you to share [pretty please?] /lh

Auuughh this took a bit I'm sorry!!

BUT WITH PLEASURE!! 🌠

..

BRETT HAND AGERE HEADCANONS ⭐🌈🐛🩹 !!

CW: panic attack mention, vent reg mention

**He first noticed it during the comedown periods after panic attacks. He'd get all floaty and ditzy for a bit. Brought it up with his therapist. They recommended looking into age regression and to see if he could potentially use it beneficially. - Sure, why not. Initially just got himself some adult coloring books and markers and started watching kids shows while he found his way back into a stable headspace. - It, eventually, did escalate. Namely with his regression being triggered at cognito, being the first time that had ever happened with someone else (Andre and Reagan) present.

He no longer struggles as much with accepting that side of himself. It's just the way he is. He's an adult, who sometimes just isn't. And that's okay. - **It's become more peaceful as well, no longer being exclusively triggered by panic attacks but also now being somewhat voluntary to de-escalate in certain situations.

His age range is both broad and hard to pinpoint! So he'll be sitting with a pacifier and a plushie...watching or doing something entirely not toddler appropriate!

He likes chewlery, teethers & pacifiers at any age! Though, he does have a general preference for chewlery!

Is really into just watching people, especially Reagan!! (she's still nervous about having the kid in her lab though, she doesn't like children, they are sticky…)

Definitely a little displaced in time, prefers 80s nostalgia over his actual 90s childhood

Loves to learn, anything and everything, bothering people with 2nd grade level fun facts is considered an activity for him

Fidgety. Never stops moving. His energy levels seem to somehow increase !? Loves outdoor play when he succeeds in pestering someone long enough to actually play with him!

Tends to float more around middle-space, at about 10-12!

"do you have games on your phone?" energy

Scooby Doo, Blue's Clues, Ghostbusters and Sesame Street are common background noise in the Hand Bachelor pad !

Not mega picky with food! But...if you really can't get him to eat something...ketchup or sprinkles will help 9/10 times..little weirdo /lh

Collects doggie toys!! Especially plushies!

The one thing he kept from his actual childhood is a yellow puppy luvvie,, it's still in pretty good shape and he's often toting it with him around the house!

Overall I think he's really just the sweetest little kid. He needs a fair amount of reassurance from those watching him that he, in fact, is not being too much or annoying. And they, IN FACT, are doing this because they love him and want to see him happy!!

**He does have his moments, not surprisingly. He's not always a happy camper when small, especially if negatively triggered. Sometimes it's a bit of a gamble if he'll come up from an episode and stay in his adult headspace, slip under and relax, or if you're gonna have an especially teary and clingy kiddo.

The gang loves him. Reagan would commit unspeakable atrocities for this kid. Gigi just wants to shower him in prezzies from rich auntie! Andre and Myc are..questionable babysitters...but nothing has happened yet! (because no one lets them babysit.) And Glenn has to be verbally whacked on occasion - no, Mr Dolphman, Brett does not want to learn how to [insert strange dolphin surgery veteran activity] !!!

I don't want this post to be too long but tbh I could go on!!! ⭐🌈

I hope these are good and enough for now >:]]

[waltwhitmansbeard]

🫂 (comforting hugs) with Percy and Keyleth? always need more of these two’s friendship in my life.

Send me emoji(s) and I'll write a drabble gonna set this one in my vamp machina au.

Percy drops the groceries onto the kitchen counter with a sigh. A third-floor walk-up is a bitch when he's got a week's worth of food for two in his hands. He starts to unpack the first canvas tote, calling, "Keyleth, can you help me with these?"

There's some shuffling from behind Keyleth's closed bedroom door, and then it opens, and she's smiling a too-bright smile that doesn't reach her eyes, which are red and swollen. "Hey! Didn't hear you come up." She quickly comes around into the kitchen to begin putting the refrigerated stuff away.

Percy frowns. "Are...you okay?"

She keeps her head buried in the fridge. "Yeah! How was the grocery store? Did you get the kefir or were they out again?"

"Keyleth."

She's moved up to the freezer now, stowing away a few bags of frozen vegetables. "It's fine if they were out, I just like the probiotics, you know—"

"Keyleth, why were you crying?"

She scoffs. "I wasn't crying."

He puts a hand on her shoulder, and her whole body freezes. "I didn't think we had to hide this kind of stuff from each other."

Which was apparently the wrong thing to say, because she wheels on him, the façade dropped entirely. "Really? You think we don't hide things from each other?"

Percy's stomach sinks, and he can feel the heat starting to rise in his neck. He drops his hand. "So that's what this is about."

The tears come so fast, seemingly always waiting just below the surface. "That's what I thought." She turns back toward the fridge. "You don't want to talk about it, and so we won't." She sniffs and begins shuffling the food around to make room for the new groceries.

Not since his sisters were murdered has someone managed to make him feel like such shit in so few words. What is he supposed to say? Yes, Keyleth, please tell me all about the status of your relationship with the undead monster you refuse to let me kill. He is, of course, deeply curious as to what had her crying alone in her room, but he'd be lying if he said a big part of why wasn't that he was looking for an excuse to finally sink a stake into Vax's heart.

"Did he..." The words taste like ash on his tongue. "Did you get in a fight?"

Keyleth brushes past him, rolling her eyes, to pick up another bag off the counter. "No." She returns to the fridge. "We didn't fight."

This conversation is going to be like pulling teeth, apparently. "Then why..."

She slams the fridge door shut. "Because I miss him! Because it's bright fucking daylight and I want to go walk around the park with my boyfriend and I can't! And I can't say anything about it because he already feels like shit over something he can't control or change, and I could go without him but then I'd see all the other happy couples enjoying the sunshine and I'd feel terrible, and crying doesn't solve anything but I don't know what else to do because I love him and this whole situation just sucks and I can't talk to my best friend about it because he's a dick!"

The tears are flowing fast by the end, and she claps a hand over her mouth to keep a sob in. Percy doesn't even think about it, just steps forward to wrap her up in a hug, both arms squeezing her in tight as she falls apart into his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispers, running a hand up and down her shaking back. "I'm sorry that you miss him and I'm sorry that the situation sucks and I'm sorry that I'm a dick."

He holds her as she cries, lets the ice cream start to melt and the butter start to soften and the rift between them start to close. He's not ready to make nice with her vampire boyfriend, as important as he is to her, but even he can admit that he can make some strides to stop making an already difficult circumstance even harder for her. He does not approve, cannot approve, will not approve, but she is her own person, wiser and kinder than he will ever hope to be, and if this...vampire is what makes her happy, then he can at least hold his tongue and let her be happy.

After some time, he murmurs, "If...you would like, I can clear out of the apartment tonight. Give you two some space."

She sniffles, straightening up and wiping at her eyes. "I think we're going to go out, actually. Vax thinks I spend too much time cooped up inside." She rolls her eyes with a smile, and Percy's stomach sours at the thought of this undead thing knowing his best friend as well as he does. "But...I just don't want to have to hide from you, Percy. There's so much hiding already. So much fear. It sucks when it comes from one of my favorite people in the world."

He presses a kiss to her forehead. "You're right. I'm sorry. I...cannot promise overnight change. But I can try to be better."

She smiles hopefully. "Thank you, Percy. I really don't ever want to not have you in my life. You're my family."

"You're my family, too." He tips his head toward the groceries. "But we're gonna starve if we let all this food rot on our counters."

They resume stowing their groceries, and though the river between them remains frozen, the thawing ice gives Percy hope for a spring yet to come.

[oboy-me]

𒁍 Comfort ▸▸ Mammon, Leviathan

Most of the brothers seem to know when you're upset; they've learned to read your body language, notice your habits, and ways to combat whatever it is that had brought you down. Two of the brothers, however, are surprisingly adept at being the first ones to notice, and are often the first ones to act.

Notes: GN!Reader (they/them), cheering you up from crying (unknown reasons what had you upset), fluff, not proofread. Short-ish story. Their actions can be taken as either platonic or romantic.

It was the sniffling that they heard first. Their bickering down the hall had stopped short of your room, Leviathan clasping a hand over Mammon's mouth as they neared your door. Leviathan was the first to lean in, Mammon's head pulled close when he tried to protest in an effort to get him to hear what his younger brother did. Both froze up when their ears were filled with the sounds of another snotty sniff followed by a cracked little whine — a sound that had Mammon reaching for the doorknob immediately before Leviathan snatched his hand away in the nick of time.

"What's the big deal?!" Mammon hissed under his breath.

"Hold on, hit the pause button Mammon! Break out the strategy guide! Look, this is gonna be a seriously tough fight if we go in underequipped, and — "

"Can ya use some normal words for a sec?"

Leviathan scowled a bit with his brows furrowed tight when Mammon had finished his little comment, Levi's expression between a sharpened focus and annoyance at the interjection to use "normie" language.

"Ugh, fine! Just this once! So, Y/N's sad, right? And if we just barge in there without anything for them, we're probably just gonna upset them even more. So we need a strategy, and I think I got just the thing."

————

A knock would be heard on your door. How long had you been sat on your bed, head hung low, tears clung to your cheeks? It must have been long enough if someone was trying to get your attention. Before you could try and call out that the door was open, the voices of your visitors would be heard.

"Y/N! It's me, Levi!"

"Yo! We're comin' in!" In typical Mammon fashion he practically let himself in with Leviathan in tow behind him, but what your blurry eyes beheld was that it wasn't just them walking in empty-handed; gathered up under Mammon's arm was one of his softest blankets, and dangled from his hand were a couple bags filled to the brim with unhealthy snack foods and drinks. Leviathan himself clutched a few Ruri-hana themed totes that were nearly overflowing with various CD, DVD, and video game cases in one tote, a DVD player and some portable consoles in the other.

They'd brought you what was effectively a care package you then realized, as they closed the door behind them.

"Pincer attaaaaaaack!" Levi would then cry out in glee, his finger pointed towards you. "Mammon! Initiate your special, Snack Attack!! I'll combo it up with Crouching Brothers, Hidden Anime!"

"Aye aye!" Even if Mammon didn't care for Levi's "otaku-speak," he promised to work with his younger brother to make you happy. Before you could really even process what was happening you felt the cloud-like softness of the expensive blanket thick with Mammon's cologne wrapped around your body until you were something akin to a living, fluffy burrito of warmth.

With you now effectively "trapped" (though with your arms free enough to poke your hands out of the top) Mammon would spill the contents of the bags all over your bed; bags of snack chips, packaged jerkies and assorted cheeses, and various candy mixes were all on offer alongside a fair few different cans of sodas, juices, fizzy waters, and hell chocolate milk. He'd snatch up a drink he knew you loved and cracked the can open with a satisfying clicking hiss from the top, careful in how he shoved it down against the blanket so your fingertips could steady it, and so it could rest upon your chin idly.

Leviathan had heaved the dining table in your room over with sheer dedication until it was in front of your bed like a TV stand, his portable DVD player set down lovingly directly before you. He'd taken some time to fuss over what anime to pick, but eventually seemed to land on the title I'm An Aspiring Model Who Got Summoned To Another Planet, Now I've Become The Star Attraction For Fashion-Frenzied Aliens!! before slotting the disk in carefully.

"Mammon actually picked this one," Leviathan beamed as he took up a spot to your left side, given Mammon had completely hogged up your right. The younger of the two would fish out one of the chip bags and popped it open, offering one of the chips up to your lips. "We heard you were really sad, so we teamed up and got you stuff we knew would max out your happiness meter!"

"Yeah, what Levi said!" Mammon grinned. "So we ain't leavin' 'til we know you're alright! And that's that, so no usin' your commands to send us off or anythin' or we'll just come back stronger an' more persistent!" He'd lean in a bit closer now until he could rest his head on your shoulder, which prompted Leviathan to mirror the act, not wanting to look like the "uncool" one of the two. Now you were there, wrapped in a blanket, a drink cozied up to your lips, chips and other snacks offered to you frequently by one brother or the other, watching perhaps the cheesiest anime you've set your eyes on with running commentary from the two on your flanks. You weren't alone at all, and frankly... you forgot why you were upset in the first place.

There were some messages later about the surprise sleepover that was uncovered in your room; at some point you three had passed out, yourself cuddled up in-between Mammon and Leviathan, with a picture of the snuggle pile sent to the massive group chat by Asmodeus who was quite pissed he missed a chance to pamper you... The bickering that ensued was definitely one for the books.

[necros-writing-stuff]

What would normal Darius and Guard Dog Darius if their partner for owner passed? Tragic accident, terminal illness, or in the happiest of cases natural causes?

Devastated. For both.

For Guard Dog Dare, he'd end up a stray, he'd refuse to let anyone else take him in.

He'd keep one of your possessions with him always. Maybe a few of them, in a little box he totes around everywhere. But he definitely wears something of yours, a necklace perhaps. Rubs it between his fingers when he remembers you.

Regular Dare would likely end up drinking himself to death. He tried. He tried so hard to be happy. And it didn't work. So he'd just sink further and further into his depression until one day Dean comes knocking at the door, wandering why he hasn't been to work in a few days. And there's no answer.

[jillian-is-worth-it]

I totes don't know what your like... request rules or constraints are, so imma try and make this lenient. if you're okay with it, can you write Byakuya Togami or Twogami, Gundam, and/or Fuyuhiko and like headcanons on how they'd interact with an ultimate Cowboy or Ultimate equestrian reader? GN reader, unless you're okay with male reader. Hope I didn't yap too much THANK U HAVE A GOOD DAY

I LOVE YOU ANON OMFG THANK YOU 😭😭

I GOT YOU!!!

first request so I'ma do my best, idk if you want headcanons or a fic but I'll do both! and yes ofc I can write male reader <33

thanks love!!

togami, twogami, Gundam, and fuyuhiko with ultimate equestrian!male!reader :))

Togami

oh boy where do I start with him

I think he would be a bit confused, but he'd respect your talent!

i get the idea that he's ridden a horse before, so he knows how difficult it can be to do, considering he only did it once

he would definitely ask subtle questions

he would have good conversations about horseback riding, considering he's read books on it before!

"hey.. yea.." Byakuya would start.

"what saddle brand do you prefer?" he asks, his tone still a little sharp as always, but there's a hint of curiosity in his voice.

once you give your answer, he would listen, looking towards you with his arms crossed, stoic expression as always.

"huh... that's a pretty reputable company, not surprising."

Twogami

(i did him dirty with the header I'm so sorry 😭)

pretty similar to togami, he just hadn't ridden a horse before

I get the feeling for some reason your horse would be afraid of him, so do with that what you will

he would 100% give you apples for your horse!!

overall, he's really sweet, and interested

he's a little brash, but he does talk about horseback riding with you!!

"Hey, (reader). I found this extra apple, I thought it might be useful to you." he would say to you, holding it out for you.

After youd thank him, he would continue the conversation a little bit more.

"How has riding been lately? I see a few bruises on your leg, I'm guessing it was a rough practice?" He asks, a slight bit of concern slipping into his voice.

you'd reassure him, that things happen sometimes, and the bruises are just visible from you wearing shorts today, he wouldnt be as concerned, but in the future, he would definitely check on you check on you to make sure your ok.

Gundam Tanaka!!

(i freaking love him so much oml)

BESTIES

I DONT MAKE THE RULES YOU TWO ARE BESTIES

he's frickin obsessed with your horse, like literally so happy

the horse and the devas play together <33

you two are naturally close because of your ultimates

but he's like really close with you

y'all are together everywhere

it's so sweet <3

"(reader)!! how is your companion today?!" gundham will say, his usual voice, but a smile is present on his face, and hes a lot more happy to see you then he lets on.

After your response, he listens intently, and when your done san-D skitters out of his scarf, and he speaks again.

"The devas have requested to see your companion, could that be arranged?" He says, and on his shoulder, san-d looks at you, adorable as always.

(HIS SMILEEE)

"he's the ultimate yakuza! why would he fear anything-"

he is deathly afraid of your horse.

he acts tough, but talking about it he gets a little shaky, even just mentioning being equestrian in general

your horse loves him though

after a while, he's able to co exist with them.. as long as your around of course

"h-hey.." he say, sweat dropping, trying to just focus on you, still a little panicked, but he calms down quickly.

"and hello to you, as well." he says, his words polite.

"how's it been?"

I have 0 motivation but tysm!! ily!!

[livingrief]

“Father… If I may.”

Nanna entered the room silently, light as a feather, to bear no weight to the man before her. If to become dust was to love, she would become just that for him. (However heavy his burdens, she would not be one.) Her traceless footsteps were a sign that even a breath of air could return to the lungs that set them free, as she bound herself to his path home. Perhaps he had noticed her, perhaps he had not, but she skirted against the wall, simply watching him. How he strided, how he preferred to turn corners, how he walked among others with a steady, unreadable expression— how he carved a space in this world for himself.

“Your birthday is today! I know, I know—” She raised a hand thoughtfully, as though she had finished his thought without it ever crossing his lips. “But I must, Father. It’s you, after all.”

“Please, do take this. I understand, it’s not practical, but it certainly is me.” Inside, was a tote of letters, tied together with twine and light blue ribbon. “Here. All the letters I wrote you while you were gone.”

A couple of years missing was nothing to the present.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Nanna’s gaze softened, thoughtful light green pouring into blue. “I prayed that you would come back.”

“And you did. And now we’re here.”

Her smile pearled, simple-hearted and single-minded. “A lot of them are short, but I’m sure you will find enough whimsy to last you through the night.”

“I’m…” Her eyes fluttered close, tilting delicately as her smile teemed with light. “So, so happy you’re here.”

“Happy birthday! I’m going to remind you next year, too… And the next.”

He's already forgotten the day of his birth by the time Nanna reaches his room. It hardly matters, after all. One insignificant day against the tide of legacy and greater good. And Finn is not one to care for himself. Haggard eyes and a tired mind think little of their own wants when they cannot ascertain their own needs. And so the day nearly comes to its closure with the night remembering it has any meaning to him.

But Nanna, of course, dear Nanna, she is the type that remembers whispers in the walls and shadows. Scarcely nothing could escape her eye for she takes it all in with a smile and brings flowers afterwards. Laying down daisies on the tomes of what never could be each year with a soft hand.

Finn welcomes her into his room without much hassle. It is a sparsely decorated living space - one could hardly tell that a living being inhabited the area. All for ease of leaving and cleaning, of course.

Eyes widen slightly at the mention of his birthday. Oh. That hardly seemed worth mentioning. But Nanna, she looked so excited. Finn did not want to spoil her cheer. Without knowing it, he is awaiting what news she has.

What she hands him is something he'd scarcely expect. He takes hold of it as if it's a newborn babe, as if the wrinkled pages will cease to exist if he does not touch them with awe and wonder. His eyes go back to meet hers.

"Nanna," Finn begins, hesitant that he will ruin the mood. "I really am sorry that I took off like that. I thought it was the best thing at the time, but....." "I'm sorry. You must have gone through a lot." Simple words cannot mend old wounds. He has little to offer but she is always willing. But still, she seems so happy, so gleaming and wonderous. Walking forward, he leans his head down against hers. It's a long gap but nothing he can't manage for his daughter. "I...I'm glad I'm here too."

How can he thank her for staying faithful to him when he disappeared off the faith of the Earth? And even now, she wishes to celebrate him. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't feel like he's doing enough.

Arms wrap around Nanna awkwardly and squeeze. She says she will continue to stay by his side, and that's really the only gift he needs. For a moment, Finn can allow himself to smile. "Sounds good to me, Nanna. Sounds good to me."