#so he’s been playing mediator while he tries to figure the situation out

[peachsayshi]

Hello can I request a part 5 for the inexperienced reader where they finally do the deed? Thank you and I really love all your writings. You’re amazing!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ playboy geto x inexperienced female reader (part 4) ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

wc: 7,712

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰ previous parts: 1/2/3/4

minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.

notes: hi, nonnie! I haven't posted the official part 4 for playboy geto x reader, so here is an update! part 5 is the final part of this mini series and I am still figuring out the scenario for the big moment. I had this idea in my head and really wanted to write out. I hope you enjoy the update!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: other jjk characters are mentioned, virgin reader; lovesick geto & reader; hurt/comfort; the first fight; making up; smut; oral (f receiving); nipple play; overstimulation; fingering; practice makes perfect *wink wink*

There’s a downpour outside - a peaceful shower trapping you in a cocoon of stillness. Grey clouds collide, orchestrating a rumble of thunder to disperse across the horizon. You squeeze the glass of tea in your hand and breathe out a heavy sigh as you continue observing the waves crashing onto the shore in the distance.

Standing in pensive thought, you find yourself contemplating why the sky isn’t a saturated blue, and why you are not wiping away grains of sand between your toes while tasting the salt in the air and getting kissed by the sun in the red bikini that you are wearing.

This is your first weekend away with Suguru and it was supposed to be perfect…magical even, but…

You haven’t exchanged more than a few of sentences with him in two whole days.

The truth forms as a discomforting lump in your throat. At this point you’re convinced that the turbulent events of this week is what conjured up such a dreadful storm to hijack your mini vacation, and you’ve been a bundle of nerves ever since because you’ve never had a fight with him before.

Not a real one, anyway.

Whenever a situation got remotely tense, your boyfriend would be the first person to jump in to talk things out. Suguru hated having petty arguments and always relied on strong communication to put out any fires before they set everything ablaze. You know it’s entirely unfair to put that expectation on him but, the truth is, you’ve grown used to him mediating, and depended on him to squash potential disagreements without question.

What you weren’t expecting was for things to escalate between you two because it’s never happened before, and now you aren’t sure how to proceed.

What if he leaves me?

The nauseating thought of a potential break up twists your gut, but you brush off your anxiety as you lift the cup to your lips and take another sip of soothing chamomile.

Couples fight, you think, it’s normal to fight.

Your fingers pinch the ceramic so hard, you feel it might crack from the pressure. You’ve tried to reach out since then, but Suguru remained unresponsive to your little gestures of peace.

Why is he still ignoring me?

You lean your head against the window and exhale, eyes fixated on the storm’s dramatic performance. A bolt of lighting crackles across the sky, channeling you back to the night on Suguru’s sofa just two weeks prior.

His fingers were trailing the outline of your thigh, keeping your body tucked perfectly into his frame. You were twirling a strand of his onyx hair between your fingers, listening to him proposition the idea of the weekend trip away.

“Yuki is one of my oldest friends. She lives in a beach house, so that’s where we will all stay…” he casually stated. “We visit her a couple of times a year, and I know she would love to meet you.”

You said yes without hesitation.

At the time, there was no need for you to question who Yuki was or how Suguru knew her. There was no need for you to pry deeper into the memories of his past because you were just living in the bubble of present happiness.

“We used to spend every summer at her beach house while I was in university,” Suguru informed you a few days later, slipping in that tidbit of information right after describing all the places he was excited to take you to. “I love that her beach house is so far away from the city. Plus, they have the best soba in the village. You’ll love it, I just know you will…”

This deep infatuation you shared for Suguru had your heart swelling up more often around him. Your valves were arrows to a compass that always spun directly towards him, your shining North Star. Your eyes were glazed over in a rosy shine of deep romance, making it hard for you to blink away the hue of its affection, but you should have taken a breath to catch yourself.

Maybe then you wouldn’t have reacted so harshly later on.

The ”problem”, as Suguru dubs it, happened two days before the trip.

Shoko invited you to join her and Utahime on a shopping date to pick up some new swim suits for the occasion. However, you weren’t expecting to see Mei Mei upon arrival. Your friendship with Shoko made it easier for you to blend in with the rest of Suguru’s group, but Mei always kept you at an arm’s length. For the most part, you approached any interactions with her with caution. You made sure you were nice and didn’t try to pursue anything beyond cordial conversations. Despite your attempts at playing cool, Mei continued making snide remarks about you being “Suguru’s Girl” and enjoyed addressing you condescendingly.

Truthfully, she treated you as if you were simply a stranger with one foot out the door and not the person who was in a committed relationship with her friend.

Your eyes, powdered with pink infatuation, had you feeling indifferent about her sharp tongue on this particular outing, and it made you loosely speak up about how excited you were to go on this trip with your boyfriend.

Your walls were completely down when Mei went in with a new attack while you were all having dinner together.

“It’s adorable how excited you are. Besides, I think it’s about time that you met Kiki…” she giggled, earning a glare from both Shoko and Utahime.

“Kiki?” you replied like a naive child, all wide eyed with an innocent pinch between your brow.

“Suguru didn’t tell you?” Mei coos as she proceeds to take a sip of her milkshake. “That’s his special nickname for Yuki. The two of them used to spend their summers together getting high and fucking. She was his first, you know…”

Your cheeks were stinging with embarrassment. You glanced over to both Shoko and Utahime, praying that one of them would denounce Mei’s confession.

Instead, Shoko shook her head with disapproval and simply added, “we all know that it wasn’t serious…”

“Wasn’t serious?” Mei interjected, her cruel eyes fixed on you. “Suguru was in love with her…”

“He wasn’t in love with her,” Shoko sternly answered. “They were friends. Don’t make up stories in your head”

Mei swirled her straw around her vanilla milkshake. “We are his friends too but that didn’t stop him from hooking up with us either. The only difference is that Yuki is the one who broke his heart afterwards. Suguru didn’t speak to her for an entire year...”

“How about you don’t stir up problems for no reason, Mei.” Utahime bit back, and Mei responded by rolling her eyes with mild disinterest.

“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true. Everyone at this table, except Shoko, hooked up with Suguru at one point,” she let out a pretty laugh, one laced with wicked intent. “Maybe this is something we can all bond over at the beach house. Compare notes and what not…”

“How about we dial back the bitchy attitude and put the subject to rest” Shoko interjected, and Mei merely huffed before sipping her milkshake with nonchalance.

Hot, heavy jealousy coiled around your skin, and you used every ounce of restraint not to pick up Mei’s drink and toss it right in her face. By the time your brain was able to connect the dots to formulate even a single sentence, the conversation swiftly moved onto another subject.

You reached for your soda, slurping the icy beverage in an attempt to cool yourself off.

This isn’t the first time that Suguru’s friends have made teasing comments about his past, but Mei took it too far.

The worst part about that god-awful interaction is that it was working out in her favor.

Why didn’t Suguru tell you?

The question sat in your head up until you returned home. You were in a bitter state, choosing to curb Suguru’s calls and ignore Shoko’s messages.

She still called you the next morning with a heartfelt apology.

“We’ve all known Mei for years so we put up with her attitude,” Shoko explained, “But you owe her no allegiance and what she did was uncalled for. I’m really sorry about that…”

“It’s fine, Shoko…” you insisted, but your tone was hard and defensive because it wasn’t fine and you barely got any sleep thinking about what she said.

“I had a long conversation with her last night, and she’ll be backing off from now on,” Shoko consoled.

“Great,” you answered through gritted teeth, trying your best not to hurl the phone at the wall.

“Look,” Shoko added on with a sigh, “I know Suguru doesn’t have the best track record and I know we all give him shit for it, but we also all know that we’ve been too hard on him. He really, really cares about you.”

Tears pricked your eyes. You wished those words were enough to sway you back but they felt just as empty as the space in your chest.

Why didn’t he tell me?

You couldn't stop wondering why.

The day before you left for the getaway, you were giving Suguru the coldest shoulder. He had come over to help you pack your things, but instead was left puzzled by your behavior.

You leaned away from his kisses, always tilting so he aimed for your cheek. You shrugged off his touch, pretending to busy yourself with searching through your closet and picking your outfits. You could feel his piercing stare from over your shoulder, those dark eyes dissecting the softest parts of you to get to the root of the problem. You tried to focus on the music from gently playing through the speakers, but as you walked over to your bag to pack another dress, Suguru quickly reached for your hips to drag you onto his lap.

“What’s wrong?” he asked seriously, his voice the tip of a sharp blade pressing into your heart.

You shook your head, caressing the fabric between your fingers. “Nothing, I have a headache,” you repeated firmly, sticking to the same excuse that you had given him earlier.

“Sweetheart,” he replied tenderly, your body stiffening when he brushed his lips over your shoulder to leave a contemplative kiss. “What’s actually wrong?”

You froze, your anger scalding your insides as it bubbled to the surface. You squeeze the dress between your hands, creasing the smooth surface. Suguru rests his chin on your shoulder, patiently waiting for you to at least acknowledge him.

“Is it true that you were involved with “your friend” Yuki?”

You hid your hurt with sarcasm, her name rolling off your tongue with a hint of disgust.

Suguru lifted his head from your chin, his fingers pinching against the fat of your hip while his other hand moved to reach for your jaw. He angled your face towards him, a pained expression masking over his breathtaking features.

“Who told you?”

“Mei,” you answered sharply, “apparently Shoko and Utahime know all about it too…”

“Look,” Suguru sighed, “it’s…it’s not what you think…”

“Did you to spend your summers getting high and fucking?” you interrupted harshly, mimicking the cruelty in Mei’s voice as you posed your question.

Suguru closed his eyes. “Yes.”

“Is it true that she was your first?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly this time.

“Yes, but…”

You rolled your tear soaked eyes as you stood up on your feet, tossing the dress into your bag as you folded your arms across your chest to give Suguru your back.

You weren’t sure what hurt more. The fact that Mei had all the ammunition in the world to hurt your feelings, or that she knew that your doting boyfriend would keep this from you.

Suguru stood up, carefully approaching you from behind as he extended his hand out to find your waist once more.

“Mei’s a gossip,” he contended, “I told you that when we first met…”

You spun on your heel to meet his anxious stare, drilling your fury right into him.

“That’s not the point,” you argued. “The point is that you lied to me! The point is that you spent weeks going on and on about “your friend” without even warning me that you were both intimately involved…”

“We put that shit behind us years ago. I didn’t want to bring it up, and I didn’t think I had to. Mei shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Didn’t think you had to?” you repeated with confusion.

“There was no reason to,” he replied with annoyance, his fingers digging into your waist. “Because you and I are supposed to trust each other, and considering how things have been going between us, I thought we did.”

Your heart raced at the fact that Suguru was still keeping his mouth tight lipped over what happened with Yuki, which did little to help your own dramatized theories on their relationship.

If he was being secretive about something as serious as this, then who knows what other tales he might have been spinning with that honeyed mouth of his.

The knot that’s wrung itself around your mind finally snapped.

“Easy for you to say, you don’t have an inventory of people I slept with to keep track of…”

Suguru winced, the involuntary grimace an unusual sign of hurt. Your apology shot to the tip of your tongue, and you were ready to jump right into his arms and plead for forgiveness. This brutish commentary was so unlike you, but you didn’t know how to keep a handle on your own insecurities this time around.

“Keep track, huh?” he answered softly, the faintest hint of distress coming through and making you nip at your bottom lip out of guilt. “Must be hard having a boyfriend who is so used up…”

“No...you're not. That's not what I mean, I’m…I’m just saying that it’s different,” you retracted, easing your delivery to try and explain yourself. “You just don’t have to worry-”

“Is there a reason for you to worry?” he rebuked, quirking his brow in genuine surprise.

You scoffed, “You told me about everyone else you’ve been involved with but with her you are suddenly keeping quiet-”

“Please, tell me you’re fucking joking right now-“

“You can’t-” you interjected, clearing the catch in your throat as your voice warbled uncomfortably. “You can’t just expect me to be okay with this, Suguru. I have to be able to trust you and that’s only going to work if you are honest with me. Keeping something like this from me doesn’t help…”

Suguru dropped his hand away from your waist, and folded them over his chest tightly. There was a twitch in his jaw, and the disappointment in his eyes spoke volumes. You both stood there in silence, studying the other in deep concentration.

“I thought you did trust me. You were practically naked in bed with me when you said it. So what is it then? Do you trust me or not?”

Your face grew increasingly hot recalling his birthday, the way you were soft, vulnerable and pliable sprawled out against his chest...

“I do…” you replied with very little confidence. “Sort of…”

You swallowed your regret to stare down at your feet shamefully, and allowing your pride to fight the battle for you. If you can waver his insecurity even a little then maybe you might find some equal footing with the discomfort.

“I can’t change my past. I can’t erase the people I’ve been involved with. Yes, we both had different opinions about how we viewed relationships, but we aren’t going last long as a couple if I’m the only one that has faith that this is going to work,” Suguru informed calmly, using his fingers to gesture between you both.

Hearing those words from your lover’s lips felt like surprise blow. You parted your mouth to exhale quietly, clenching your hands tightly by your side as you naively waited for him to attempt to turn things around.

“I’ve given you everything. I’m not going to force you to trust me,” Suguru adds on, his tone morphing into a cold, cruel note. “And if you fucking can’t, then I’m done.”

Your head shot up in surprise, the front of your brows upturning sorrowfully but Suguru had already turned on his heel to walk out of the room, slamming your bedroom door right behind him.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

The car ride to the beach house was terrible.

Neither you or Suguru said a single word to one another. He kept his focus on the road, while you kept replaying the words “I’m done” on repeat in your head.

It was disappointing to start off on such a sour note because Yuki’s beach house was the perfect getaway spot as Suguru described. The location was rural, and the building was quaint and cozy. The size is big enough to fit your entire group, but not to the point where it was gaudy. Suguru mentioned that the property belonged to Yuki’s mom, which she eventually inherited after she passed away.

Meeting Yuki took your breath away. From the moment you laid eyes on her you understood how a young Suguru would be infatuated. She was striking - tall, with long, golden hair that cascaded all the way down to her butt. Every part of her was perfect, from her toned tummy revealed by her short black cropped top, to her legs that seemed to go on forever which were covered in only a pair of loose denim shorts. She had a naturally cheeky grin, like there was something up her sleeve that no one could quite point out, and sharp brown eyes that were simply inviting.

She pulled Suguru in for a warm hug, and ruffled his hair like a sister would.

“Sug! Your hair’s getting long! I like it!” she chirped with a big smile, while Suguru held an effortlessly casual stance to play off that the two of you haven’t been ignoring each other this whole time. Yuki instantly turned to face you, “And you must be the girl that stole his heart! I’m so glad to meet you! This guy never shuts up about you…”

You felt small against her, and it wasn’t just due to her height. You could feel yourself shrinking into your own shame hearing her talk about your lover. Whatever doubts that sparked due to Mei’s burning statements were quickly turned to ash.

Yuki gave you a house tour and explained that Shoko was sharing a room with Mei and Utahime, while Satoru and Nanami bunked in another.

“If you’re comfortable you can stay in Suguru’s room. He kind of has his own bedroom from how often he’s stayed with me. If not, I’ve got a pull out sofa in my room,” Yuki informed, while you were trying your hardest to undo the tight knot in your belly.

Getting to know Yuki over the course of the two days only fed into your regret. You couldn’t help but watch her interactions with Suguru, only to conclude it was no different than how he behaved with Satoru and Shoko.

Even when he addressed her as “Kiki”, it came out with a level of comfort that felt a familial familiarity. If it wasn’t for Mei and her devious manipulation games, you would never have even have assumed that the pair were intimately involved with each other.

As your stubbornness started chipping away, you decided to at least try and make amends with your boyfriend.

On the first night, after getting ready for bed, you broke the long hours of silence by asking him where he was going after watching him get ready to leave the room that you both were supposed to be sharing.

“I’m staying with Satoru,” he curtly responded, and slammed the door behind him before you could get another word in.

Yesterday was painful to say the least. You attempted to sit down with him and Satoru for breakfast, but Suguru excused himself only a couple of minutes later. By mid-morning you texted to ask if he would like to join you and Shoko to walk around the village. You even brought up his favorite soba shop, but found yourself left on read.

His behavior was harsh and quite obvious. By lunchtime Shoko pulled you aside to ask if everything was okay.

“We’re fine,” you answered breathlessly, your worry sending tingles to the tips of your fingers and toes. “We got into a bit of an argument in the car, but we’ll talk things over”

Dinner last night was supposed to be a fun get together at one of the local omakase joints, but it turned into you and Suguru sitting on opposite sides of the table barely acknowledging each other.

You were trying to steal his glance, but he wouldn’t stop avoiding yours. Afterwards while all of you were standing outside, you found the courage to reach for Suguru’s hand to grab his attention.

“Hey,” you whispered low enough for only him to hear to avoid making it obvious to the others. Your heart fluttered when you noticed that Suguru didn’t let go of your hand, but instead pressed the pads of his fingers lightly against your palm to return the gesture.

Almost like he was saying hello.

“Do you maybe want to go for a walk?” you asked, eyes hopeful and desperate. “It’s nice outside tonight, don’t you think?”

You couldn’t gauge what he was thinking, but you paid close attention to his reactions. Like the way his eyes dipped to your fingers slightly interlaced with his own, and how his digits were merely tracing yours in the most featherlight touch.

Did he miss you too?

“I’m going out with Yuki tonight,” he announced, his tone sharp and daring.

Your heart winced.

You weren’t used to this side of Suguru at all.

You let go of his hand, and nodded your head to feign acceptance but your throat was tight and tears were glazing over your woeful irises.

“Oh, okay!” you answered with as much confidence as you could muster up. “I guess…I guess I’ll see what Shoko is up to. And-”

Your voice cracked when Suguru let go of your hand. The emptiness a cold touch against your palm.

“I-I hope you guys have fun catching up tonight-“

Suguru nodded his head, taking your breath away for only a second when he leans forward to leave a chaste kiss on your brow. Not giving you a chance to finish your statement.

The gesture shatters you, because you know that it wasn’t genuine.

He was simply putting on a show, keeping up appearances so that the others don't suspect that something is wrong.

You cry yourself to sleep all alone in bed, all the while holding onto the hope that he might just show up to remind you that everything is okay.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

You’re still staring out the window, watching the droplets trickle down the glass. Lost in the peaceful moment, you barely hear Suguru enter the bedroom, which is why you jump in shock when you suddenly notice a large hand press firmly against the glass by your side.

“It’s pouring, huh?”

His voice, smooth like velvet and soft like storm clouds sent a tremor of desire in your belly. You steadied the cup in your hand, sensing your body trapped between the window and your boyfriend who was now standing prominently right behind you.

“Yeah,” you whisper quietly, your chest rising and falling with anticipation.

You watch him tap his index finger against the glass, your gaze falling to the bracelet on his wrist. It was the other gift that you gave him on his birthday, and he hasn’t taken it off since. The rain patters outside, the white noise your safety barrier against the awkward tension, but you can feel it brewing behind your spine as you steady your breathing.

“Where did you stay last night?” you ask with a mousy voice, hoping that your tone wasn’t coming across as accusatory but simply concerned for wanting to check in on Suguru’s whereabouts.

“Yuki’s room, we were up late talking…” he responds gently, a hint of amusement in his voice but not one that was cruel. “She told me I could sleep on her pull out only after admitting that I’m acting like a little bitch…”

Your mouth naturally ticked into a smile at his playful tone, and you sink your teeth into your lower lip with relief from the casual delivery.

He huffs out a small laugh, "in case you're wondering, I just so happen to agree with her."

“It’s not just you,” you acknowledge, finding the courage to slowly spin on your heel so you can face him. “I started all of this…”

“Yeah, but you’ve been trying to fix it and I’ve been difficult about it…”

Your body crumples when your eyes met his, the power of his gaze forcing you to press your back against the window to stop yourself from buckling at the knees. His yearning matches yours, and the tension in your shoulders relaxes slightly when you note that he might have actually have been missing you too.

The ease in his expression is a white flag of surrender.

You place your tea cup on the table by your side. “I shouldn’t have let Mei get to me,” you admit, “I was caught off guard, and I took my anger out on you…”

“I shouldn’t have put you in that position,” Suguru adds on, shaking his head in disbelief over his own decision. “I should have been upfront with you about Yuki from the star, I just-” He drops his hand away from the window to find yours, and takes both of them between his fingers. His thumb smooths over your knuckles, his grip firm and protective.

“I just didn’t want to give another reason not to trust me”

Your brows furrow with confusion, and Suguru sighs.

“My family were in a bind financially. Even though I got a full scholarship to univerisity, there still wasn’t enough money to put both Mimi and Nana through school. I've known Yuki since I was sixteen. She told me to spend the summers with her and hooked me up with well paying jobs ,” he explains solemnly, almost like he is ashamed by the situation entirely. “So, that’s what I did. Her mom never stayed during the summer break. And yeah, shit happened between us. We’d get high, fuck around, drink, party…but it was just…a release.  It didn’t mean anything else. I swear…”

“Mei said that you loved her,” you fill in, piecing together parts of your own personal indignation. “I think that’s what really got me. Especially when you didn’t tell me yourself. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the secrecy…”

Suguru scoffs, “Mei says that only because I went back summer after summer. I didn’t let anyone else know the real reason why. They had no fucking clue what was going on with me and my last summer with Yuki is when we decided to stop but I-I fucked it up…”

You could see the strain on Suguru’s face, and you squeezed his hand reassuringly to let him know that he could share whatever he needed to say.

“There was this girl that Yuki liked. I mean, really liked. She wouldn’t shut up about her. She was the reason why we stopped sleeping together. One night while we all went out, I got…carried away. I drank too much, I smoked too much, I wasn’t fucking thinking. I don’t even really remember what happened, but when I woke up the next morning…the girl was in my bed. When Yuki found us, she was…heartbroken. She didn’t speak to me for a year, and…I was devastated because her friendship means everything to me. She was the only person who knew how bad things were, and I returned the favor by…well, being myself, I guess…”

“Suguru, don’t say that…” you blurt out, your hands letting go of his as you eagerly clasp his jaw with equal protection. “I see you with your friends. You’re so loyal, and would give them everything if they asked. For somebody whose always so put together, what you did…is so out of character…”

He winced, his eyes narrowing with humiliation but it only taps into your empathy.

You bring his face closer, press your forehead to his own and notice him flutter his eyes close.

“You rarely talk about how hard it was with your family,” you mumble so close to his lips, keeping the conversation as private as possible even though it’s only the two of you in the room together. “I can’t even imagine the kind of pressure you must have been feeling. If you and Yuki are as close as you say are you, I’m sure she came around because she must have seen it too…”

His hands find your your bare waist. “She was the only one who could see it. Satoru, Shoko…it went over their heads…”

The quiet loops in right then, a rumble of thunder echoing in the distance. The hurt in Suguru's voice was loud and clear. The fact that he's always been there, but is so easily forgotten in the long run.

“I need to know,” Suguru confesses, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I need to know what else it’s going to take to get you to trust me because the odds are stacked up against me, sweetheart. And if I can’t make it happen, then I don’t have a single fucking shot at making us happen…”

The sting of regret burns your cheeks once more, and you extend your arms out to circle around your boyfriend’s neck. You want to kick yourself for making him doubt himself, especially after he working so incredibly hard to earn your favor.

“I swore I would never throw your past in your face. I’m so sorry that I did. You’re not the same guy that the people in your life paint you out to be, and I shouldn’t have let them try to convince me otherwise,”

You seal your apology with a small kiss to the corner of his lip, goosebumps pebbling your skin from Suguru’s thumbs tracing tiny streaks up and down your belly. “For whatever reason we don’t seem to make sense to anyone around us…”

When Suguru finds your eyes, you lose yourself into a dark abyss, sinking back into the depths of his soul.

“Is that how you feel too?” he questions seriously, “that we don’t make sense?”

You shake your head instantly to disregard the claim.

“Being with you is the only thing that I seem to understand, and I think that’s why I’m so scared to let you in,” you admit, the past forty eight hours of desperation formulating the next statement on the tip of your tongue. “I’m falling in love with you, Suguru. And-And I can’t seem to stop it from happening…”

Your breathless at the proclamation, your heart hammering so hard in your chest like it’s ready to burst out and bury itself into Suguru’s instead.

You watch your lover pull back slightly, his brows raise with astonishment.

“In love…” he breathes, like he can't believe the words himself, “with me?”

You nod your head, your hands roaming back to the front of his chest where you can feel his own stammering heart against your palm.

"Yeah, with you."

Suguru withers into your touch, his hand cradling your jaw as he dips in to press his mouth over yours. He parts his tongue to deepen the kiss, the weight of his body pushing yours into the surface, where behind you lightning bolts across the sky and grey clouds envelop you both in a shadowy cocoon.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

You freely unravel, your joy sparking from the tips of your toe as to the top of your head knowing that your lover has chosen not to abandon you, knowing that you both are desperately seeking forgiveness.

You swear to yourself that it’ll never get this far again.

Suguru baptizes you with his kiss; it was a long reminder of your submission, of fully surrendering your feelings towards him. In between he moves your body, away from the glass and across the room, until you're pinned underneath him on the bed. He uses one hand to undo the wrap skirt around your waist, leaving you clad in your bikini to bathe under the light of his love instead.

His index finger loops around the string of your bikini top. He pulls away from the wet kiss, the tip of his nose lightly brushing your own, with the heat pooling in those dark irises enough to singe your skin.

“I’m not done with you,” he confirms, going back to the statement that ate away at you like a parasite. “Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be…”

A lock of his hair brushes his brow, and you move it aside to kiss the space.

“Even if you were, I’m not willing to let you go that easily,” you counter because you need him to hear it. You need him to understand that you see what he’s put into this relationship and that you are more than willing to return the effort.

He smiles, and it’s devastatingly perfect it makes you want to scream at the heavens for allowing someone to be this beautiful.

“Still think I’m worth the trouble?”

Your fingers trace down the bridge of his nose, your heart gooey and soft in more ways than you can understand.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you, Sugu.”

His head tilts with curiosity, eyes drooping in contemplation. He doesn’t say it but you can hear him asking “are you sure?”, but his doubt is enough for you to seal the truth with a kiss, and when Suguru returns it, you’re once again dissolving in his affection.

Your limbs tangle into one another, your bodies pressed so close that you can feel every hard muscle. The bed sheet rumples, is lifted away from the corners as it gathers messily. Suguru’s hand glides up your torso, over the swell of your breasts, and he hooks his fingers around your throat to tilt your neck to the side and allowing him the access to kiss the column.

You thoughtfully sigh, your eyes fluttering close at the sensation of him sucking on your delicate flesh. He leaves a trail in his wake, and you shiver when his hot breath fans your ear.

“Can I ask you something?” he questions in a hush tone, his voice dipping down an octave and sprinkled with desire.

You nod your head.

“Can I go down on you?”

Your body seizes, every single cell on fire. There’s a catch in your throat, and your thighs clench together nervously at the suggestion.

You tilt your head back to face him, your noses and lips bumping in the process. “I-I can do it for you-”

He interrupts you by shaking his head, his mouth carefully kissing your cupid’s bow. “You’ve gone down on me three times already…”

You can feel yourself soaking through your bottoms. A mixture of pleasure and shame heating your cheeks.

“But...what if-what if you don’t like it? I read somewhere that not all guys do...”

Suguru scoffs, baring his teeth as he gives you a full grin. He prods the tips of his nose onto yours, wiggling it teasingly from side to side.

“You’re so fucking cute,” he confesses before adding, “I promise you, I’ll like it”

Your heart is beating so fast you can’t think, but your body speaks another language as your thighs naturally spread a little wider to invite him in.

“Okay, yeah-” you consent, “yeah, you can…”

He smirks, his hands tracing to the strings of your bottoms. You lift your hips, watching him shimmy the fabric down your legs. He stuffs the material in his back pocket, his palms spreading your inner thighs apart.

You sit yourself up on your forearms to study your boyfriend with intrigue.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty…” he sighs, his attention focused on the triangle between your legs, and your belly flutters at the direct compliment.

He doesn’t move for a second, his hands adding the slightest bit of pressure on the meat of your thighs. He licks his lips and breathes out once more, taking just a second to compose himself.

“It’ll only feel good, no pain,” he informs, “but if it’s too much for you, just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”

Your hips relax further into the mattress, his assurance easing some of your apprehension. Your boyfriend knows how sensitive you are at this point, but you nod your in head in acknowledgement while gratefully appreciating that he regards you with such consideration.

He kisses up the apex of your thigh, carefully avoiding your sex to find a path to you hips. His tongue is sof and warm, tasting every part of your skin as it travels across your lower belly and further down your pubis. You gasp at the sensation of his breath so close to your cunt, your calf twitching when he finally places a gentle kiss on your lips.

And another kiss.

And another kiss.

And a fourth until your toes curl and he finally flattens his tongue along the slit.

“Oh,” you coo, the sensation so delicate and delicious. Suguru drags his love between your folds, up and down, and side to decide, his mouth circling around each lip as he sucks on them in between returning to glide his tongue around.

Your legs clasp around his neck, your heels resting comfortably on his back. The sound of Suguru sucking and licking up your pussy reverberates along with the storm outside. He reaches one arm to find your hand, and you intertwine your fingers to hold him tightly. His other hand slithers up your torso, and slips underneath your bikini top. He pushes the fabric above your breast, his thumb and index finger finding your tender nipple which he massages steadily as his uses his mouth to pleasure you.

The sensation builds, filters throughout your body in waves that roll over and over again. You squeak when he sucks on your clit, your heels pressing into his back but the weight of his body holds you in place to keep you from wandering away.

Your brows furrow, little tremors shaking your collar bones and your belly. “Suguru,” you whine sweetly, a moan following after when he pinches your nipple and nibbles on your clit. He lets go of your hand, his touch traveling down to your legs. He spreads your pussy, giving himself more access to bury his soft tongue deeper, further, to taste more of your nectar as it dribbles down his chest like he’s biting into fruit.

He groans into your cunt.

He grazes his tongue over your weeping hole, and your body thrashes with anguish and rapture. Your eyes spark in white, glittering like the lightning as it bursts and recedes into the ceiling above you. The band in your core is a tight spring that finally unfurls quickly and quite suddenly, your orgasm unfolding throughout your stuttering body.

“Oh, god…” you cry out, your back arching as Suguru keeps his mouth over your cunt, his hand holding you down by your lower body.

You gasp, panting heavily trying to cope with the aftermath. You think that Suguru might stop, but instead you feel him paint kisses all over your sex, rolling your nipple between his finger and moving to suck on your throbbing clit.

“Sugu?” you call out, your spine shuddering.

“Hmm?” he answers, his tongue massaging across the bud.

“You’re still…” you whimper, “you’re still going?”

He releases you with a pop, blowing air over the swollen bud before smiling into another kiss.

“You have no idea how long I can keep going”

Suguru only manages to keep his word by delivering another orgasm with his mouth buried against your cunt. You had tears in your eyes when you came, panting out “no more” with desperation because you couldn’t handle the detachment you were feeling in your own skin.

It feels so fucking good, but all too much at the same time.

Suguru doesn’t push. He won’t test his boundaries right now. Not when you’re just a vulnerable kitten in his eyes. No, the stamina will require time and patience, and for you to get used to him in the bedroom as well.

His disappointments sits between his brows when he pulls away, his hand smoothing over the curve of your pelvis as he kisses your hip and lower belly. He crawls over you like a panther, his shoulder blades rising with each calculative moment. You can smell yourself against his lips, savor your own arousal when he dips in for a kiss.

“Taste like heaven, baby girl,” he mumbles, his balmy words running over your skin like hot oil. “I could eat you out all night…”

He traces the column of your neck with his lips, and grins into your skin. You’re too shy to say anything, and he knows it. He presses his mouth against your neck, pecking over the marks that he’s imprinted.

Your hands fumble to reach for his jeans, your body desperate to do something for him too but Suguru grabs your wrists and pins them to your side before standing upright and undoing his jeans himself.

“Relax,” he insists.

Your eyes fall to his large hands undoing the button, and then unzipping the front of his pants. His grey boxers have a noticeable wet spot, and your pupils dilate when he pulls his dick out for you to see.

You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, waiting to see what he’ll do next. He pumps his cock a few times, sighing heavily as his thumb runs over the slit. To your surprise he shifts his position, and adjusts himself until he’s perfectly aligned with you.

He taps the fat, mushroom head over your clit. “You just open up for me, don’t you?” he whispers deviously, “Let’s practice…”

He slides his dick back and forth over your slit, supports his movements by holding both your knees as he grinds his length against your cunt.

“See how far I’ll stretch you out?” he mumbles, eyes hazy with hunger. “See how deep I’ll go?”

He slides his hands up and down your thighs, rocking back and forth and using you for friction. Soft grunts and moans escape him, and in between he halts for only a second when your quivering hand finds his length. His hips stutter when you start to lightly jack him off, your thumb teasing over the head.

Your eyes fall close, imagine the burn of him spreading you apart, of him making love to your body as you mold into his frame. To feel him in all his glory, for your bodies to become.

The image is raw, vulnerable, and so, so perfect.

There is nobody else you would rather give yourself too.

Suguru is the one.

“I can’t wait,” you beg dreamily, “Need you inside me, I can’t wait-”

His grip on you tightens out of surprise upon hearing your words, and he suddenly thrusts harshly as he curses out a broken “fuck”. Ribbons of white spurt out of him, painting your belly and tainting parts of your chest.

The both of you freeze as you look down, caught off guard by what just happened.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

Suguru cleaned you up using a wet towel to wipe his cum off your belly and chest. You discarded your bikini top afterwards while he removed his jeans, with the two of you then choosing to snuggle up against one another under the sheet.

“That’s never happened to me before,” Suguru confesses, finally breaking the silence. There was a slight blush tinting his cheek bones, and you giggle as you cradle his face in your palm and trace the shade of red.

“You’re usually so in control,” you playfully remark, and Suguru simply rolls his eyes.

“Not with you, I’m not,” he admits, his arm clenching around your waist as he closes the gap of space to tuck you into his chest.

You breathe in his scent, nuzzling your nose into the fabric of his tee.

"I'm glad we're okay now."

"I am too"

You curl your fingers around his shirt. “On your birthday, and just now…we could’ve…just gone all the way. You could’ve just-”

“Not here,” Suguru states seriously, the intensity in his voice prompting you to tilt your chin up and meet his stare. He plays with your ear, traces the shell thoughtfully before gently tugging on your lobe.

The butterflies flutter once again, your irises tinting in pink. You lean forward to kiss the sharp angle of his jaw.

“What was it like for you? Your first time?”

Suguru sighs, and purses his lips as he contemplates the memory. “Yuki was good to me, and it was nice,” he admits, but you’re entranced with the way he holds your gaze. “I sure as hell wasn’t as nervous as I am now…”

“Is that why you keep holding back?” you question innocently, apropping yourself on your elbow to rest your head on your hand. The bed sheet falling and exposing your chest.

Suguru’s eyes fall, his touch tracing the slope to outline the curve of your breast. “Do you want your first time to happen after a petty argument?”

You pout your lips with amusement. “Does it matter?”

“You’re not the only one who might be in love, sweetheart,” he responds, his words greeting the shining sun peeking through the clouds. “Of course it matters.”

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ⋆˚ ✧. ┊ ⋆ ★

tags: @sellenite @kiwibao @allofffmypeaches @sugurussbby @kunigamisbaby @pandoraium @brownskinnedgirll

my works are available on tumblr and ao3 - any fics reposted on other platforms or other Tumblr blogs have been plagiarized. do not share my works on social media (tiktok etc.) © peachsayshi 

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hey can you maybe do a gambit x reader where gambit and the reader are best friends and always going on missions together and Remy is always saying your like his little sister but in reality the reader is in love with him but tries to meditate between gambit and rogue to keep them together cuz she thinks he's happy with her.

But then gambit gets in a fight with rogue and they break up, and the reader is like scrambling to get to apologize and Remy has to sit them down and explain he wasnt happy and then either the reader confesses to him or he confesses that he had always loved her but played it off.

Idk it sounded good in my head, sorry if it was too long but I love your work so keep it up!☺️

In the heart of the X-Mansion, the bond between you and Gambit was well-known. As best friends, you both were inseparable, frequently going on missions together and supporting each other through thick and thin. Remy often referred to you as his “little sister,” a term that made your heart flutter with an unspoken mix of affection and longing.

You had always been there for him, even helping to mediate between Gambit and Rogue when their relationship hit rough patches. Despite your feelings for Remy, you never let them show. You believed that if he was happy with Rogue, that was all that mattered.

However, as fate would have it, a recent argument between Gambit and Rogue had spiraled into a breakup. The tension in the mansion was palpable, and you could feel your heart breaking for both of them. You had hoped that they would work things out, but when it became clear that things were over, you found yourself in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

You hurried to find Gambit, feeling a mixture of urgency and dread. You reached his room, knocking lightly before pushing the door open. “Remy, can we talk?”

He looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his expression a mix of frustration and sadness. “Hey, chérie. What’s goin’ on?”

“I—” you hesitated, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean for things to get so messed up with you and Rogue.”

Gambit stood up, his eyes softening as he looked at you. “It’s not your fault, mon amie. Things just didn’t work out.”

You took a step closer, your heart pounding. “But… if you’re hurting, I want to help. I care about you so much, and I just want to see you happy.”

Gambit’s gaze softened, and he took your hand gently, his touch sending a shiver through you. “I know you care, and I appreciate that. But there’s somethin’ you need to know.”

Before he could continue, the door swung open, and Rogue walked in, her eyes red from crying. “Remy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to end like this.”

Gambit looked at Rogue, then at you, his expression conflicted. He sighed and motioned for both of you to sit down. “We need to talk about this properly.”

As you sat together, Gambit began to explain. “Look, I’ve been keepin’ things from you both. The truth is, I’ve been unhappy for a while now. I didn’t realize how much until things with Rogue fell apart.”

You felt a pang of hurt and confusion. “But why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell Rogue?”

Gambit turned to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and something softer. “Because I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I tried to play it off, but the truth is, I’ve had feelings for you for a long time.”

You froze, your heart racing as the words sank in. “Me?”

Gambit nodded, a small, wistful smile on his face. “Yeah, you. I didn’t want to complicate things, so I kept it to myself. But the way things ended with Rogue made me realize that I’ve been tryin’ to hide my true feelings.”

Rogue looked between you and Gambit, her expression one of understanding. “Well, if you two have feelings for each other, then maybe it’s time for you both to figure that out. I wish you both the best.”

With that, Rogue gave a small, sad smile and left the room, giving you and Gambit the space to talk. You turned to him, your eyes brimming with emotion.

“I never thought… I mean, I’ve always loved you, but I thought it was just my feelings getting in the way,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or force you into anything.”

Gambit reached out and took your hand, his touch gentle and reassuring. “You didn’t ruin anything. I’ve been waitin’ for the right moment to tell you how I feel. And now that it’s out in the open, I want to be honest with you.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of relief and joy. “So, what do we do now?”

Gambit smiled, a genuine warmth in his eyes. “Now, we take it one step at a time. I want to be with you, if you’re willin’ to give us a chance.”

You smiled through your tears, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “I’d like that. I’ve always wanted to be with you.”

As you both embraced, you felt a sense of peace and hope. The road ahead might not be easy, but with Gambit by your side, you were ready to face it together. The love you had always felt for him was finally reciprocated, and you knew that despite the challenges, you had found something truly special.

[animeomegas]

Ohhhhhh puppies this is what I’ve been waiting for!

I’ve been stuck on this thought for a little while now about Neji and his alpha introducing thier first born pup to their lost and found pup. All the reactions and emotions especially if the pup is really upset. Knowing Neji being strict and sort of thinking this child as a blessing I think he would be sort of frustrated with his other pup. Just the mixed emotions and feelings that would be thrown in the air! Could you imagine that?

Also maybe one of Irukas pups being really secretive around him. Just hiding away when he tries to scent them, and avoiding in depth conversations about their day. Come to find out that they’ve been sneaking around with a potential mate?! Putting myself into the situation of the Alpha I would feel very betrayed and trust them a little less and knowing Iruka he would feel a little devastated that his pup didn’t trust him enough to tell him.

Oh and one more with Kiba!! His herd of puppies comes running in all yelling over one another until the oldest steps forth and says they lost the youngest pair of twins while playing In the forest! The Oma instinct would kick in so fast as he pushes pass them with Akamaru on his heel, turning almost feral to go find those pups.

There all kinda sad sorry but I’ll think of some fluff ones soon!

Oooh! So many!! And they're all so good!! I'm going to focus on the Neji and Kiba ones if that's okay! @voodoogoul

Neji:

This is such an interesting idea, because I could totally see it.

Because Neji is so thrilled to find out he's pregnant! It's such a shock given his age and fertility issues, but he's over the moon. So, I think it'd be difficult for him to imagine his adopted pup not feeling the same way. In his mind, of course they're going to be incredibly excited for the new pup.

Also, Neji really just views his adopted pup as his pup. Biology means nothing to him, so he forgets that it might mean something to his pup who is probably at least a little nervous about their oma favouring the biological pup.

Neji tries to handle it maturely, but he's taken aback when his pup reacts negatively. When his daughter says she doesn't want a sibling and would rather have a dog, Neji is really hurt and stressed.

It will probably end with both Neji and the pup shutting themselves in their rooms and crying. It'll be up to the alpha to mediate between them, so good luck to them lmao.

...

You carefully pushed open your daughter's door, peeking your head around slowly to both assess the situation and to allow an easy retreat in the event of something being thrown at your face.

Not that your daughter was the type to throw things of course, but this situation was unprecedented and you couldn't be sure how this was going to go.

It quickly became clear though that her primary emotion wasn't anger, but sadness.

You quickly crossed the room, perching on your pup's bed where she was crying, buried under the covers. You guessed at where her back was and rubbed soothing circles through the duvet.

"Shh, don't cry, sweetheart. We'll figure this all out, okay?"

Sniffing, your daughter hesitantly pulled the duvet off of her head and instead tightened it around her shoulders. Her hair was sticking up in odd directions in a way that would have been adorable had it not been paired with swollen eyes and a runny nose. You reached out and ran your fingers through her hair to straighten it out a little, smiling when she pushed against your hand with a barely audible hum.

"Can you tell me what's going on in that head of yours, hmm?" you asked, still fiddling with her hair.

Her lip wobbled for a moment before she held out her arms for a hug, new tears pushing their way out of her eyes.

"Oma doesn't love me anymore," she wailed, stretching her arms out more desperately the blanket falling from her shoulders.

"Oh dear," you muttered, taking her into your arms and settling her on your lap. "Oh dear, sweetheart, why do you think that? Oma loves you more than anything."

She shook her head, leaving a horizontal line of tears on the collar of your shirt.

"Not anymore," she sobbed. "He loves the new baby more than me! I hate them! Why did you have to have another pup?! Why don't you love me?!"

"That's not true," you denied, purring in an attempt to calm her down. "When you get a new toy, does that mean you love the other toys less?"

"It's different! Because this new pup is oma's real baby, I'm not."

With that, the sobbing increased in volume. You were sure Neji would be able to hear it now, and you were also sure that he was now also crying in your room. You shook your head to clear it. One problem at a time.

"You are our real pup," you rocked your daughter gently as you spoke. "Did I ever tell you what your oma was like after we got you?"

Your pup sniffed and shook her head.

"Your oma wouldn't let anyone other than me within five feet of you for six months," you smiled to yourself as you remembered those days. "And he demanded that I wake him up everytime you cried, even when he was exhausted, because he couldn't bare not being the one to hold and feed and change you."

"Really?" your daughter asked in a small voice.

"Absolutely," you gave her a smile. "And before we had you, he always said he was going to go back on active duty when you were about a year old, but he just couldn't do it. There was nothing and is nothing more important than you, not for oma and not for me, you understand?"

"Not even the new baby?"

"They'll never be more important than you, they'll be just as important. It'll be the same," you reassured her as best as you could without lying. "And you'll have a very important new role as well!"

"Huh? What?"

"You'll be a big sister!" you grinned, trying to get her to feel excited. To your delight, you got a weak smile in return. "The new pup is going to look up to you and love you so much, and of course, think you're the coolest older sibling ever!"

She giggled, burying her face in your shoulder shyly.

"And I don't want you to ever doubt that oma and I love you more than anything, no matter what happens. Oma would rather cut off his own leg than let something bad happen to you."

"Really? His own leg?" she asked, eyes wide.

"Uh huh," you nodded seriously. "He'd even rather pour calligraphy ink on the sofa than let you be sad!"

It was a testament to Neji's personality that that statement got more of a gasp than the first.

"But oma hates any ink anywhere near the living room!"

"I know! That's how much he loves you!"

You both laughed together for a minute before a serious look settled on your pup's face.

"I want to say sorry to oma," she declared. "I didn't mean to make him sad and... and... maybe it'll be cool to be a big sister!"

Your face softened as pride swelled up in your chest. She was such a good girl, and you knew that Neji would be so relieved to hear that things were working out.

"Okay, honey, let me go check on oma first, alright? Then I'll come and get you and we can talk about everything."

"Okay!"

"Good girl, I'll be back in a minute."

...

Kiba:

Hell yeah, I love this one!

Kiba is immediately in tracker mode, Akamaru running on his heels, nose to the ground.

His youngest are only four, and he was trusting the older kids to look after them on their first venture out into the woods, but apparently that had been a mistake.

With a quick shout behind him to tell his pups to go and find you in the house, he shoots out of the door and into the woods behind his house.

His teeth are bared thinking about how vulnerable his pups are right now. Every extra second he takes to find them is an extra second that they might be in danger.

Thankfully, Kiba specialises in tracking and the pups weren't too far in, so he finds them in about three minutes, both of them sitting at the base of a tree and crying, one clutching a bloody knee.

He immediately scoops them both up, purring automatically to soothe them as they cry in relief, clutching to their omy as tightly as they can as he carries them back home.

He walks in to see you and the other pups huddled in the living room, anxiously awaiting his return. He can see the relief in your eyes as you spot both of the pups, safe in his arms.

...

"Omy!" your injured twin wailed, hands still clutching his knee. "I' hurts!"

Kiba hushed him, but it was clear to see that his nerves were on edge as he struggled to keep his mind and composure. Going feral wouldn't help anything, but you could see the edges bleeding through in his actions.

You told the rest of the pups to stay out of the way for a moment, and for once in their lives, they actually listened, likely spooked by what had happened. Then, you headed over to help Kiba put the injured twin on the kitchen counter and search for some bandages.

Once the wound was cleaned, it only took one offer of chocolate ice cream to dry up the tears and put a smile on everyone's faces. Except Kiba's, who was still wound as tightly as a spring, watching all his pups like a hawk.

You slid over to him and wrapped an arm around him.

"They're okay," you murmured reassuringly. "It was just an accident, you got to them, you protected them, you did so well, omega."

Kiba took a deep breath, leaning into your embrace.

"I know, just- give me a sec."

You hummed affirmatively, rubbing his arm as you both watched your army of pups devour a tub of chocolate ice cream, the younger ones getting half of their share on their faces.

"I can't believe we had six pups, you know?" you joked, elbowing Kiba gently. "Everyone had bets on when we'd stop, but none of them went that high."

"Ha ha, yeah," Kiba laughed awkwardly, throwing you off.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Well, I think I know part of the reason I freaked out so much today," Kiba grinned sheepishly at you.

"Okay... Why?"

He grabbed your hand and placed it on his tummy.

"Meet number seven."

[mysticalrambling]

Ending It All Part 2 (C.E)

A/N: Here you go guys. Much awaited part 2 is here. I am so in love with this particular fan fiction and hope you guys like it. If you want me to write any blurbs related to this series, do let me know.I am open to requests.

._._._._._.

Part 1 

Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Chris regrets divorcing you and he tries to mend the relationship. However, you have already moved on with Tom Hiddleston and are quite happy. He has to just stand back while you and your children become closer to Tom and it is all his fault.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._._.

“Coming in?” Chris turned his face towards you with a questioning look in his eyes.

“No, I have some work. Just wanted to drop the kids off myself.” Your ex husband’s house was on your way so you just saved him a trip.

“Not even for coffee, darling?”

“Sorry but I will have to say no.” You still got flustered when he called you with nicknames. You had once decided to tell him to stop calling you with all these terms of endearment but you couldn’t build up the courage to do it.

It has been over a year since your divorce and the moment you think you are over him, he is right there to bring those feelings back. You were a mess when he moved out and you had to see him on the weekends for the kids. It looked like you were drowning and you couldn’t come up for fresh air. It was exhausting but after several months, it didn’t hurt that much. It didn’t feel like your heart was tearing into shreds. You felt numb but that was better than feeling like your heart was being ripped out of your chest.

“That’s fine. See you Sunday?”

These were the only few sentences that were spoken between the two of you since the divorce. This was your new normal and you were starting to adjust to it. “Yeah, bye.”

“Who wants pancakes?” Sighing, he turned around and asked in a fake, cheerful voice. He didn’t get to be disappointed. These were the the seeds that he sow and he had to reap the results.

“I do.” A collective chorus came from the living room as they had already started to play with Dodger. Dodger was adopted from a shelter home about two weeks into the divorce. Loneliness was a destructive force and Chris hadn’t come to that realization until he was sitting in his home at eight, all alone. No laughter, no mess, no companionship. He went out that day and got a new dog. The apartment was eating him alive because it was a reminder of his ‘new life’. More like his ruined life.

“Daddy, you goin’ to be there for my match?” Jace looked up at his father and hoped that he wasn’t going to say no. There have been too many occasions this past year where he was not there for his children like Easter or Mia’s first day of school. He was either too busy with his career or he couldn’t bear to be with his family knowing that he wouldn’t be going home with them. He wasn’t strong enough to handle that truth.

“I’ll be there but I have work afterwards so I can only be there for half time.” The apologetic tone was all too familiar to the kids now so they just stayed quiet.

Chris noticed their disappointed look and continued, “When I get back, we’ll go to Disneyland for the whole weekend.”

“Mommy and Tommy will be going as well?”

Stopping in between making the pancakes, he asked with a venom laced tone, “Tommy who, Jace?”

“Mommy’s new friend. We like him.” Your son continued petting the dog without realizing the damage he is doing to his father. “New friend” was always a code for boyfriend and Chris didn’t know what to do with that information.

He knew that you had gone on a few dates with Tom Hiddleston because of the paparazzi. But he didn’t know that you both were serious. Your kids knew about him so it was pretty damn serious.

“He won’t be going with us.” Speaking with finality, he resumed cooking. You were his and that was not going to change. He knew he was being unfair but when it came to you, he lost all rationality.

“But he is our new dad.” Mia whined from her place and Chris just looked at her with a wounded look. His babygirl was putting someone else in his place.

His voice boomed throughout the house and both the kids looked at him with tears in their widened eyes, “I’m your only dad. Don’t you ever say that.”

“‘m sorry, daddy. Didn’t mean to make you mad.” Her chin wobbled and Chris was quick to realize his mistake. It was not your children’s fault. It was not your fault. It was his fault.

“Not your fault, baby. But you only have one daddy and that’s me.” Kissing her forehead, he wiped the single tear that managed to escape her blue eyes.

“’kay.” The kids got distracted again but Chris did not forget. He was still seething from the inside because Tom may have taken you away from him but he damn well couldn’t take his children.

They all get ice cream afterwards and the kids fall asleep in their rooms that Chris built from scratch. It was a lengthy process because he just kept remembering the times when he decorated their nursery with you. Such a beautiful memory and he was ruining it. The guilt ate him up inside when he realized that he may not get to ever decorate a nursery for your children again. He may not get to expand his family with you again. Again, it was his fault.

“Sorry, ‘m late. Work was hectic today.” Everything was so busy today because your boss signed up a new contract and he has been impossible to work with. You just wanted to go home and sleep for the whole week.

“It’s okay. They’re sleepin’ upstairs. Listen, we need to talk.” He was too consumed by anger and hurt to notice that you were too exhausted for everything.

“Go on.” You urged him, figuring that he might say that he won’t be able to make it to your son’s match. This was what most of your conversations were based on; him saying that he is too busy to be present at occasions related to your children.

“Why are my children referring to your boyfriend as dad?” He nothing but spat that sentence.

“I- I didn’t know about any of this. I’ll talk to them.” Stuttering, you tried to mediate the situation but nothing seemed to get through to him at the moment.

“No need. I already did that but for next time, keep your boyfriends away from my children.”

“Our children and I don’t let anyone near my children. We are serious.” You were offended by his crude tone and you weren’t just going to let him walk all over you.

“You can’t be serious with him. As a matter of fact, you can’t be serious with anyone.” Your ex husband declared it like it was a law. He didn’t know how to react to what you said. All the pain was converted into anger because that was his current form of expression.

“Are you serious?” This was all too much for you to handle. How could he say that?

“Yes. You only belong with me. I regret it so much (Y/N).” Chris’s expressions told you where he was going.

“Oh, stop. You can’t just do that. Can’t come bargin’ in my life and mess it all up again. I am happy.”

Chris reached out his hand but you took a step back. He was not allowed to touch you anymore. “I was mistaken. My career is not above you, darlin’. Never was.”

“You made me feel worthless. You made me feel as if I was the reason our marriage ended. Won’t allow myself to get sucked back into this relationship.”

“I know I broke our family. I tore us apart and didn’t even apologize for it properly. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” There was a stream of tears running down his face and you wanted to wipe them away but you resisted.

There were still times when you wished that you were still happily married to Chris. That you still had your perfect, little family. The divorce made you feel worthless and lonely. There were times when you couldn’t even look at your children because they were the exact replica of your ex husband. You once adored the fact that they were his carbon copy. However, now you couldn’t help but get angry. How could he leave little pieces of himself behind and think that you could move on with your life.

It was all because you were with another man. He never said all these things when you were alone and you suffered from depression. There were days when you couldn’t get out of bed to get your kids ready for school. You knew that Jace had informed him because he was really worried about you and he always shared his troubling thoughts with Chris. But he didn’t do anything about it. He stayed quiet and you had to pull all the pieces back together yourself. It was all tape and glue. Your ex husband didn’t get to come back and dismantle your progress. You wouldn’t let him.

“You can’t do this. Can’t come back. I am with Tom now so stop trying to fix things that you already broke.” Your face was red with anger and all the energy was drained out of your body.

“Please, just give me a chance.”

“No!” You couldn’t choose Chris again. You had to choose yourself. You chose to think about your needs and your feelings for the first time in seven years. That’s why you agreed to go on a date with Tom. He surpassed your expectations the first time and you knew that he could be your partner. No one could compare to Chris but Tom made his own place in your heart and you were glad about it. You continued on, “Tom is good for me so please don’t ruin my happiness again.”

Tom was great. He was good with the kids and he was slowly becoming an integral part of your life. You still missed Chris because that man was the love of your life for seven years and those feelings can’t just disappear with a single piece of paper. You were glad to have Tom in your life and you knew that as time would pass, you will love him with your whole heart. However, a small part of you would never forget Chris and would always wonder about the what ifs. What if you were still together? What if you had more children? What it you got to grow old together? Broken dreams are what hurts the most.

“I don’t want to be a cause of that. Not again. But I want to make things right.” He unintentionally came closer to you, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Sorry I wasn’t there for our kids. Sorry that I broke you, baby.”

“A sorry doesn’t fix anything.” His chest was hallowing from inside out but he didn’t want to back down. Not now. Not ever.

“Just answer one question for me. Are you truly happy?” A tremble was prominent in his voice but you tried to ignore it.

“I-I am. For a long time, I wasn’t but I am now.” You spoke with such conviction that he knew you were over him.

You would always love Chris but now it was time for you to move on with your life. It was time to leave the past and delve into the future. Chris would always own a piece of your heart but you are going to allow Tom to have an opportunity as well. You will open your heart again to love. You were sure now.

“Okay. I will get the kids for you.” He backed off like he promised he would. You knew at that moment that it was all over.

Watching you drive away with his kids was heart breaking for him and he just watched helplessly. Chris still wanted to cry, beg and apologize. He wanted you to take him back but it was all his fault. He ruined you once, he couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t interrupt your new life. It doesn’t all revolve around him but he was okay to remain on the sidelines while you enjoy your life. He will be there for you if you needed him.

You are happy and that should be enough for him but he wants to be selfish again. He wants to fight for you but it’s all too late. You were with someone else. He lost his chance.

Wednesday rolled in pretty quickly and Chris dreaded going to the match. You were going to be there with your new boyfriend but he didn’t want to miss his son’s game. He could only be there till half time already so it wouldn’t be that awkward.

“I just wanted to be here for Jace. Won’t cause any problems.” Chris took a seat beside Mia when he saw you shifting uncomfortably. The seat that should have belonged to him was currently being occupied by your boyfriend but Chris just bottled up all his feelings. It was not right to still think of you as his wife.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget about everything.” You wanted to move on and did not want anything to hold you back.

“Okay. Mia, you want Kit Kat?” Offering her a large chocolate bar, he started talking with his daughter so that he could distract himself from you and Tom.

“What is happening, love?” Tom questioned when he saw that his former co-star did not even glance at him properly.

Chris and Tom were not the best of buds but they were still good acquaintances. He thought that dating you wouldn’t be a problem because Scarlett had informed him that Chris was the one who asked for divorce. However, this situation made him realize that Chris was jealous. He still had feelings for you and Tom didn’t know how to react to that.

“Nothing of importance. Let’s just focus on my baby boy.” Saying that, you cheered for Jace as he made his first goal. He was an exceptional player like his father and you knew that he would pursue football as his career. Jace was really passionate about football. If Chris didn’t become an actor then he would have definitely tried out for football.

There were times when he used to take you to the park so you would play with him. It was your thing. Maybe he had replaced you with someone by now as well but what you didn’t know was that Chris had stopped playing football altogether. Like many things in his life, it reminded him of you and it was just too much to bear.

“You are doing great, buddy.”Jace immediately asked Chris to pick him up as you gave him his Captain America water bottle. It was half time and Chris had to leave for shooting. He was getting late but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Thank you, mommy. Ollie doesn’t listen to me that much so coach is angry at him.” Babbling on, he rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Okay, buddy. I have to leave now but I will call you when your game is finished.”

“Won’t be going with us to Chick-fil-A?”

“Uhh-” He cluelessly glanced at you because he didn’t know what his son was talking about.

“I wanted to give him a treat after the match.” Tom butted into the conversation to prove that he was a part of the kid’s lives as well.

Chris could have actually made it to the restaurant because he would be free in an hour tops. However, he decided against it. He had to take a step back for you. Of course, he would be there for his children but Tom should be given a fair chance as well.

“I won’t be able to make it buddy. You enjoy with Mommy and Tom. I’ll take you and Mia to Disneyland this weekend as I promised.”

“Okay, daddy. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” Giving him to you, he turned to leave. It was hard for him to do this but it had to be done. Chris wiped his eyes discreetly as he saw you all laughing together. This was his fault and he would have to bear the consequences.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._._.

A/N: This story had me in tears from the very start. I cried when I was writing it. Again, I am open to blurbs for this series and other requests. Tell me if you want to be added to my tag list.

Tag list: @peculiarpenman, @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile, @iguessweallcrazyithinktho, @jessyballet, @caanyoonmoon, @coldmuffinpartycloud, @marvelfansworld, @agnesk, @lauracontisstuff, @deepintothenature, @xcaptain-winterx, @nostxlgia18, @sophiaedits , @luckyladycreator2, @mrspeacem1nusone

Like, comment and reblog.

P.S. If you want blurbs and epilogue related to this series, please send in requests. I will need some ideas.

._._._._._.

[bluexiao]

May i have parenting headcanons for venti please? Preferably with a bio daughter, focused more on venti and his child rather than the s/o?

(Small suggestion, feel free to ignore if you'd like, maybe his kid could be immortal like him, also having inherited his anemo powers?) Thanks! I love your blog ❤

Hey may i request Venti as a parent :3 continaution of Venti radom pregnancy. I hope this isnt late🙏 if its do, please ignore this.

#child of divinity.

—random headcanons for venti and his biological immortal child

THEMES. dad!venti. wholesome!. ofc spoilers of his true identity. the child is still struggling to speak.

VENTI

When the child was still inside you, there was already a bond between him and his kid. It may have been something with their divine powers or so, but he certainly feels a connection with his child and he knew that this might be the greatest blessing that he’ll receive in the world, of course aside from you.

Think about it, you’re a mortal, and sooner or later, he might be alone in the end. But if he’s with your child, then definitely he’ll be less lonely.

When he first meets his daughter, she looks exactly like you, but her personality was definitely from him.

Actually, it wouldn’t even be a surprise if her favorite parent ever since would be her father. Ever since you both found out that she has Anemo Powers much like him.

The two definitely bond most of the time. Since you’d be at work, Venti and his daughter would be singing around in Mondstadt—the bard and his daughter, two faces and voices that would be all too familiar for everyone. Seeing them actually would brighten up everyone’s moods, especially since his daughter is very charismatic and joyful, much alike him.

It’s not even a surprise if Barbara would adore her especially with her beautiful voice and talent in writing songs despite the young age. Or that others like Jean, Kaeya or even Diluc would find the sight of Venti and his daughter performing and smiling together adorable to say the least.

I suppose those of immortal blood kind of grow quickly in terms of mental state, or maybe his daughter was just street smart that she’d usually be the one to reprimand him whenever he does something quite risky.

Still, the two of them flies or floats around every so often around Windrise or at Starsnatch Cliff where they both pick flowers for you<3 They’re both such sweet peas pls

“Dad! Dad! Carry me on your back again! Pwease! Please?”

“Alright, Dandelion, here we go!! Hang on tight, okay?”

Venti also lets her play the flute while he strums on his harp, letting the gentle breeze of the wind pass by their figures as peace envelops them. It is quite a rare occasion, this kind of scene, as both are quite energetic and seemingly tireless most of the time. However, these are moments that he will treasure forever in his mind. For this moment is when he shows his calm and reminisces of the past and everything that has happened.

The sound of the flute halts as a fleeting touch on his shoulder catches his attention, turning to the little girl who has a small frown on her face, her eyes twinkling in sadness that he swears he could see his reflection almost.

“Ith there something wrong, dad?” she voices out, her pronunciation of course still of a mere child, one thing that reminds him of whenever you try to teach her how to properly say words, but it’s different when it’s with him.

He lets out the same smile that he does every single time—he tries, at least. “Your dad’s alright. Of course, why wouldn’t he be?”

“But why’s your smile like that? S’ doesn’t reach your eyes.”

Definitely observant, a proof of being a demigod, maybe? Or probably because she’s his daughter, after all. Whatever the reason is, he’s impressed, to say the least.

Venti definitely spoils his daughter. If you’re disciplining her for something she’d done or so, one look at her dad and he’ll mediate the situation, trying to calm you down or change the topic.

All in all, he’s a great dad in hindsight. He’s still learning here and there but the bond that he makes with his child(ren) will be very tight. He’ll never be lonely again:)

NOTES. how was it?? i hope it’s alright that i merged the two requests together! thank you for the requests i hope you enjoyed!! i def had fun writing this^^

[biblicalhorror]

Finished the third Life is Strange game last night finally

Overall I'd say LIS2 is still my favorite game of the series so far, but there were a lot of things about this most recent installment that I really loved. (Spoilers ahead)

The first is the love interests. As much as I do love Chloe and Rachel for the complex characters they are, Steph and Ryan were so sweet and wholesome and really made me believe that Alex would be friends with them. I found Ryan to be a little bland at first, but he definitely grew on me as the game progressed.

I also really loved Alex herself. I thought she was a wonderful protagonist, much less infuriatingly passive than some of the other protagonists of these games have been. I really connected with her easily and I loved the way the game was able to use her empathy powers as an allegory for complex trauma and CPTSD. I definitely cried during the scene where she's reliving the childhood memory of her trying to mediate the constant fighting in her childhood home. I really feel like I understood her well.

The next was the very cool visual storytelling this game was able to do re: empath aura visions. The final confrontation scene with Jed was very cool with all of the changing lighting colors showing the emotions he's going through while Alex accuses him? Perfection. I loved it. Also, this partially just comes from better technology for game graphics, but the complex facial expressions they managed to incorporate into this game were really top notch. The characters all felt very real.

I also really liked the way dialogue was written in this game. One of the major flaws for LIS1 in my opinion was how most of the dialogue read like a bad 2013 Tumblr post and not, yknow, how people actually speak to each other. It seems like the writing team has really tried to improve that aspect of the script, and they've done very well.

Now, to criticisms. The first is that I was a bit disappointed with how fast and loose they seemed to play with the "rules" of Alex's power. In the first chapter, we see her be so affected by Mac's anger that she completely beats the shit out of him and even punches her own brother because she's feeling the same rage as Mac. Then, for the rest of the game, she tunes in quite a few times to the emotions of other characters, but we never really see her act out because of it again. With the amount of hints we get that her powers are why she was seen as a "troubled kid" in the foster system (and it seems to be lightly implied that she was sexually assaulted because of them?), it seems odd that that particular side effect wasn't explored more in-game.

I wouldn't say I disliked the overall plot of this game, but it felt somewhat lackluster compared to the heavy punches packed by the first few. Unlike the other games, the plot of True Colors doesn't really start until the end of Chapter 1, when Gabe is hit with a falling boulder and gets knocked off a cliff. It's a dramatic moment for sure, but it felt rather predictable in comparison to the high stakes situations you found yourself in during the previous games. The rest of the game has you figuring out a plot by a large mining company to cover up the negligent murders of seven miners from ~20 years ago, and the man behind it all is apparently your landlord/boss/local bartender. Oh, and also one of the miners that died was Alex and Gabe's absentee father. I guess.

Which brings me to my main gripe with this game. It felt as if they were trying to create a mostly mellow slice of life game that wants the player to become attached to this small mountain town, but they also knew that Life is Strange is, at its core, a drama/mystery game. It felt like they added in the bit about the father towards the end for little other reason than to add shock value and (I guess) emotional weight to the final reveal about the miners, which for me did nothing but take me out of the final chapter a bit. It didn't feel necessary, and it leads to a whole bunch of questions logistically speaking. So the father lost his job and abandoned his two kids in Oregon, then decided to go join a small mining operation in a tiny town on the western slope of the Colorado mountains. He dies tragically in a mining accident caused by a man who lies about said accident and becomes the town hero. Then, ten years later, Gabe just so happens to move to exactly the same small town several states away to get a fresh start and what, no one ever connected the dots? Not even the guy that killed his father? He never heard Gabe talking about his shitty home life and was like "hmm that name sounds familiar"? If this is such a tight knit town, how did no one seem to remember the Chen siblings' father at any point? Especially after Alex moved into town, you'd think someone would have perhaps remembered another man with that same last name who, oh I don't know, may have mentioned his two kids at some point in the years he lived and worked there? It made no sense and honestly we could have done without it. The reveal that Jed's pride is responsible for the death of seven innocent men is more than enough of a dramatic reveal without needing to somehow tie Alex to it personally. It just felt like lazy writing to me. Also, how the hell did Alex survive getting shot in the face and thrown down a mine shaft? How did she not even break any major bones? That thing was like 100 ft deep and she broke straight through several wooden boards on her way down, you're telling me she somehow didn't hit her head, or neck, or any limbs? I get that she's the protagonist so killing her off would be really hard to pull off, but you couldn't have made it a little more believable that she'd be able to escape it relatively unscathed? I'd maybe be willing to suspend my disbelief if Jed hadn't shot her in the head. I guess he just grazed her? But still. It was weird.

Overall, this game was super visually beautiful and the dialogue was very well written, so I was a bit disappointed when the overarching plot was a bit less exciting than other games. But I could have accepted that as at most minor flaw if they hadn't decided to throw in the missing dad plot twist at the very end. That really peeved me more than anything else.

7/10

[shurisneakers]

shut in [10]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting, abuse

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: double digit chapter!!! like 3 parts to go everyoneeee woo!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The nostalgia was strong. 

The last time you and Sam were sitting like this, you were deciding on what to make of the bread supply that was now dwindling. The soup had ran out maybe a day or two ago and you were left with just bread, peanut butter and jelly.

You two had to devise an escape plan. You’d been there long enough and now with Sam making his first public appearance as Mob’s Most Wanted, even if it was for a good cause, there was no doubt that people would be after you.

“What if we go back to Ransone and let the rest sort itself out along the way?”

You made a note of it on the paper but you weren’t very convinced with the idea, not with the realisations you had made along the way.

“Do we know any other hideouts?” you asked instead, tapping the pencil against the paper.

“None that you don’t already know.” He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “What are your thoughts on caves? Think we can make a bed outta some leaves?”

You wrote down ‘Sam’s cave idea’, just to humour him. Stupid, but more plausible than other options.

“If we make a run for it, what are the chances we’ll survive?”

“With law enforcement, civilians and gang members looking for us, I’d give us about-” you said candidly, “-two months. Three max.”

It wasn’t like you had no experience running from the state, but it was never on this scale. 

“We’d have years if it was only law enforcement, but we had to go get the entire fuckin’ mafia involved,” he huffed in annoyance.

An idea occurred to you that made you pause, but you hated it.

“What if we split up?” you suggested halfheartedly. “It’ll take them more time to find the both of us, if they’re looking for us together.”

When he didn’t reply, you looked up at him from the sheet in front of you.

“We’re not splitting up,” he began steadily, just as you knew he would. “The same people who are after you are after me. We need to stick together.”

“I know. I’m not saying we can’t meet again after that, I’m saying that maybe it’ll be easier for us to hide.”

He couldn’t deny that it wasn't the worst idea, but something didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to do it.

“Okay, then how do we find each other after that? When? I don’t have your email; fuck that, I don’t even have your number.”

“We’ll schedule it, I guess,” you murmur, trying to work out the logistics. “Whoever gets there late has to buy ice cream. And I’m particular about the flavour I like.”

You tried to lighten up the mood but he wasn’t having it, as much as he appreciated it.

“I don’t care if it’s more difficult,” he said slowly. “But I’d like us to stick together. Not until we’re out of this mess. Then if you want to never see my face again, which you shouldn’t because it’s beautiful, we’ll go our different ways.”

He was adamant about it, and you knew he’d argue and poke holes into the plan until it didn’t make sense anymore. You weren’t going to argue.

“Okay,” you accepted. “We stick together.”

A smile spread across his face which equated to one of triumph. “You got any other ideas?” 

“We stay right here and fight off whoever comes.”

It was dumb. This place wasn’t yours, and staying here would be a death wish. That didn’t stop you from saying it since neither of you were holding back on implausible ideas.

“This is our house now,” Sam added with determination, playing along.

“Damn right,” you affirmed, cracking a smile at him.

Bringing your attention back, you stared at the list. There is one option you wanted to explore but you weren’t sure if you could because you didn’t have the resources. But he may.

“You got any friends whose help we could use?” you asked cautiously, unsure of how this would play out. 

He continued chewing on his lip for a second like he was analysing all options, before nodding. 

“I got a friend. Well, my only friend,” he corrects himself. “His name’s Riley.”

“He got a place we can stay, this Riley?”

“He does. But I don’t want to involve him. He’s-” he paused, trying to find the right words to frame what he’s thinking “-he’s been through a lot.”

“We’ll leave him alone then,” you assured, realising that it must be a touchy topic for him.

Sam didn’t move on, though. 

“I’m all ears if you want to talk,” you offered. 

He pressed his lips together, giving you a tight smile. He looked like he wanted to say more but was holding back. You reciprocated, hoping it would give him some reassurance, noting how he exhaled softly.

“When I joined the cartel, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to since everyone was much older than I was. Riley was the first friend I made. He was a mouthy li’l one.” Sam smiled wistfully and you found yourself smiling with him. “He talked so much shit and he had the spunk to back it up but he never really got that far because no one wanted to test their luck with him.”

“We spent whatever free time we had together. He didn’t have a family so he and I-” he trailed off but you knew what he was getting at. “Ransone found out. Didn’t like anyone in his stupid squad becoming all buddies because if we turned against him, he knew he’d lose.”

Shared experience. You didn’t have any friends in the organization either; they were always separated from you willingly or by force. You wondered if that’s why you had taken such a liking towards Sam, knowing fully well that it was the first time in years you were able to be friends with someone without having to worry.

“He started pittin’ us against one another. Combat training, preferential treatment, just plain out sabotage. Riley’s the reason my back’s all kinds of fucked up.” He gave a short laugh. “Tried everything he could to make sure we’d stay away or even kill each other if it came to that.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But we didn’t,” he confirmed. “Ransone fuckin’ hated it, so one day, he decided that he’s going to finish it once and for all. Sent us on a fake mission so that we’d be alone together, then told us that only one of us could come back. One of us had to die or else both of us would. Some sick fuckin’ form of entertainment.”

It was exactly something that Ransone would do. Dramatic, vile and utterly despicable, just for his own joy,

Your eyebrows knit together when his eyes glazed over. 

“Riley, he- he didn’t even let me have at the gun. Just straight up chose for the both of us that he was going to be the one who died. He was so tired, of everythin’.” The muscles in your jaw tightened at where this was going. “He didn’t do it though. We figured out another way.”

You didn’t realise how tensed you were until you forced yourself to relax.

“Faked his death.” He shrugged. “It was the only way. Let Ransone believe he bled out and that I buried him behind the warehouse he sent us to. Shot him in the leg to make it look convincing. He’s still got a limp.”

“He made a run for it. Found himself a place in New Orleans, changed his identity, basically made turned into a whole new person. Ransone bought it for a while because I’d make it a point to visit the grave, leave some flowers and shit. Told him that if he messed with it that I’d put a bullet in his head and I was angry enough for him to see that I wasn’t kidding. I knew he’d figure it out eventually but I was hoping I’d get rid of him by then.”

“He lived in New Orleans for years. Never had a problem until recently.”

Sam paused for a second, but it gave you the time to pull up an old conversation you had with him.

“He’s the one Ransone threatened you with,” you connected the dots. “He’s the one he found.”

“Said he’d kill him if I didn’t take out Pierce for him,” his words were bitter, confirming what you said. “Sent me a picture of him in front of his house to prove it.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” you breathed, leaning back. Sam’s situation was more dangerous than you initially thought. Having Riley in the picture just made it more difficult to help Sam get out of the organization, especially since he was now leverage material.

“You asked me once what the scariest thing I had done was.” You didn’t get immediately what he was talking about until you remember the questions you had asked to get to know him better. “It was that. Getting him out of this life and trying not to get caught in the process.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“He’s the only family I got left.” The way his voice dropped made him sound so tired. “He’s already on their radar. If they find out I’m staying with him or that he’s helping in any way, they’ll kill him.”

You didn’t say anything, not like you had anything constructive to offer at that moment.

“That got dark real quick,” he remarked, the corners of his lips quirking upward.

Clearly he didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. To explain the entire thing from the beginning must have drained him completely.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” you said quietly.

He paused for a second, looking like he was thinking to himself.

“Me too.”

______

The sky’s beautiful, you decide.

You could stare at the clouds for hours.

Which is what the both of you have been doing.

“If you fucking say it’s anything other than a dog, I’ll push you off the roof myself.”

“It’s clearly a penguin, Samuel.”

“I hate you.”

The cement was cool against your skin even though there was a blanket serving as a mediator between you and it. The sun nipped at your skin and your back was aching from staying in the same place for a prolonged period.

Sam tended to think better when he was outside, unconstrained by harsh white walls and artificial light. So you grabbed a spare blanket, a bottle of water and the ladder to haul the both of you to the roof. It was filthy, as you expected but you managed to tidy a part of it to the best of your ability before laying the blanket down.

“I know why you brought me up here, Y/N,” he piped up.

You just knew that when you needed some space, he often implored you to go outside. You figured the best way to help him was to do the same, not knowing what else you could have to give.

“Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it,” he added.

Okay good. It helped.

“That’s a tree.” You pointed upwards, avoiding his gaze.

“You get three more seconds to change that answer to a table.”

“That looks nothing like a table. You’re delusional.”

He laughed, not offering a counter argument.

The outside did him good. He was calmer than when you first came here a few hours ago. He didn’t let his spite towards Ransone show very often, especially at this volume. Talking about Riley only reaffirmed how much he despised the man.

“We need to get out of here eventually, you know?” you mused.

You don’t want to. You don’t want to admit that saying it out loud made it worse.

“We do,” he sounded sure and you wondered if he ever felt bad about it too, “but we need a proper plan.”

The clouds shifted. It looked like a kid on a bike; not that you’d ever tell him. He would never agree.

“We need help,” you stated.

“We can’t.” You knew he’d say that.

“You know we do, Sam.”

“There’s no one out there we can trust.”

You liked that he used ‘we’. The only other times you had been referred to as ‘we’ had been for things so sinister, so violent.

His elbow was touching yours lightly. You wanted to move closer, press against him.

“There’s one person who might be able to.”

He turned to look at you questioningly. You did the same.

You waited till he figured it out on his own. His face shifted the minute it clicked in his head.

“No way.” He turned away, almost laughing out of bewilderment.

“It’s our only option.”

“Then we’ll find another one,” he began to sound more insistent, realising you were being serious. It was a crazy idea, you’d give him that, but it’s the only one you had that had a sure shot of working.

“We’ve tried. You’ve tried. There’s only one way,” you knew that getting annoyed wouldn’t get through to him and you also understood his hesitations. “He’ll help.”

“We don’t know that. It’s too fuckin’ dangerous.” He couldn’t afford that; not this late in the game.

“I know it. Lis- Sam. Look at me,” you commanded gently, and he obeyed reluctantly. “I understand that this is absolutely batshit wild, but I promised I’d help you. This is the only way I can think of. But I need you to trust me.”

He looked unsettled.

He didn’t have anything to go on. Only your word and his faith in you. He could say no and he knew you’d spend countless hours pouring over multiple options just to find another way. He could say no and you’d take it in stride and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. It wasn’t about trusting you, it was about not trusting the others.

But he could also say yes and let you take control, trust your instincts. You had never let him down before and he knew you wouldn’t now. He could say yes and help you work on one solid plan that had equal chances of failing as it did being a success, but it was something that you could be sure of.

“I’ll tell you this though, Sam. You always have a choice.”

He felt your fingers trace at his face patiently. He scooted closer, letting your bodies press gently against each other.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I trust you.”

He didn’t know if he made the right choice or not, but the smile that appeared on your face made him think that maybe he did.

God, he was done for.

___

“You ready?” you asked him.

“No, but what the hell; let’s do it.”

You let it ring right to the very end.

“Hello.” It seemed gratuitous at this point because you knew the conversation wouldn’t proceed with that.

“Code?”

“1993.”

“Y/N. Hello,” his voice came back loud and clear.

“Hey.” You snuck a glance at Sam. He was completely stiff.

“How are you?”

“I’ve been… good,” you admitted.

“Oh?” he sounded amused. “That’s a change.”

“Yeah.” You shifted on your feet awkwardly. “Listen, I need help.”

“Help with?”

“We need to get out of here. We can’t do it without you. I mean we can, but it’d be better if you lent a hand.”

“When you say ‘we’, you’re referring to…”

“Me.” Sam stepped forward towards the phone. You shifted it so it was between you.

“Oh, hello,” he sounded surprised, and he had good reason to be. “You know about-”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Y/N, you trust him?”

“Yeah,” you looked up at Sam, “I do.”

“Alright. If shit goes wrong, you’re both fucked. I’m not taking any responsibility.”

“We get that,” you sighed. “Can you help or not?”

There was a momentary silence on the other end as he thought.

“Tell me what you had in mind.”

“We got a hit.”

They turned away from their conversation with the person walking beside them at the interruption.

“This better be important.” They gestured to their companion who looked annoyed at being interrupted. He was too dangerous to have on anyone’s bad side but the agent didn’t care. This was crucial.

“Someone saw him. Wilson.” He was breathless from the flight of stairs he had run to come upstairs.

“Where?” They could hardly believe their ears, restraining to contain the excitement that was threatening to rise.

“A town, miles away from Pierce’s place. Said he roamed around looking for a store, bought some food and then left.” His eyes shone. “We think we might know where they are. A rough sketch at least. Couldn’t follow him too far because he kept checking.”

“Finally,” their face gleamed, completely discarding the guest they had and the confusion on his face. “Some good fucking news.”

“Do you want us to put a hit out on them?” The relief the agent felt was almost overwhelming. His partner may have died but it didn’t look like he was going to.

“No,” they said crisply, certainly. “This one’s on me.”

Next part

[spiltscribbles]

Worth It

~Notes: Oof, I know I have so many prompts in my inbox and I appreciate them so much! But I wanted to write something after dinner in dedication and a gift to the lovely Remus-John-Lupin!!!!!!!<3<3<3 I love you RJ and I appreciate you and your friendship so fucking much, so this is just a strange little gift from me to you in thanks for how kind you’ve always been to me since I joined this crazy fandom, ILY and you’re my favorite slag!!!!

.-

Sirius silently reminds himself that he in fact likes Lily, he thinks she’s a total knock out and is happy that his brother is finally getting to date the girl of his dreams. He likes her damn it,! And one does not commit battery to folks that they like.

Assured that his pure irritation won’t bleed through his words, Sirius tries again in his most charming of inflections. “All I want is his number.”

“No,” she repeats, casually steadfast while poking at her salad— Not even bothering to flick her gaze up at an increasingly irate Sirius.

“Why are you being so fucking difficult!”

“Why are you still bitching about this,” she counters, finally giving him her undivided attention, even if it’s her glaring at him like she’d like to skewer Sirius on a stick.

“Hey guys, let’s chill.” James tries to mediate, laughing awkwardly between the pair of them, hand raised in concession and glasses going a bit skewed.

They promptly ignore him.

“I like him. What is so difficult to understand Evans? Aren’t you like supposed to be some brainiac or some shit?”

“It’s been like two months Black,” she says pointedly, grip on her fork tightening while her mouth curls unpleasantly. “That’s way past your ordinary infatuations, so why the hell do you still even care.”

Sirius bares his teeth, pinning her with a glower that once made an old school yard bully of Regulus’s actually piss his pants. So of course Lily doesn’t even flinch. “He’s cute.”

“You’re a dog.”

“You’re being a total ass.”

“And you’re a bastard.”

“But you love me though.”

“Just barely.”

“So you’ll give me Remus’s number?”

“Dream on.” she says with a lofty sniff and haughty flip of the hair, discarding her barely eaten lunch before swaggering over to where a group of her friends from the STEM club are sat, including Alice Flores and Dorcas Meadowes. 

“Guess you’re back to square one Pads.” James says, unhelpful as fuck, so Sirius only flips him off before snatching back his calculus homework from a pitiful looking Peter.

“Fuck this.”

.-

Sirius thinks of himself as a reasonable sort of guy.

He isn’t one for holding grudges or obsessing over perceived slights. He’s brilliant whether he’s playing linebacker on the field or taking a exam in class.

For fuck’s sake, Sirius  can be plumped down in any and all social situations without warning, and can have the room eating out the palm of his hand within the first five minutes.

In layman’s terms, he’s decent and driven and downright charismatic. Mix this all together, and well Sirius thinks he’s a pretty fantastic fucking package— if he does say so himself. He can have his pick of the lot, truly. Especially when walking down the halls flocked by his best friend turned second brother on one end and little Petey, who’s a great hype man, on the other. So its only poetic justice that the one person who’s been able to swallow up all his attention is the one person who doesn’t even give him a second glance most days.

And that’s fucking ridiculous.

This is ridiculous! He is fucking ridiculous! No, record scratch. Remus fucking Lupin is the most ridiculous part of this all!

Remus lupin with his delightfully disheveled hair the color of gold and his crooked grin that’s everything darling in the world, and his big doe eyes that sometimes flare with green specs when he’s especially passionate in class or when he’s chatting with Lily in the halls. Remus lupin who’s only just moved here to Murray Hill from a small town in southern Illinois and who toppled Sirius’s world upside-down while he was at it. 

The first time they met was completely on accident.

It was the week before classes began, and Sirius had only just come back from his family trip to their villa in Rome, and he was only meant to meet James at the coffee shop that Lily was working at now. They were suppose to head to the city and go out drinking to celebrate the start of their senior year.  Sirius was suppose to find a nice, college aged girl to fuck because he’s given up on the boring lot that infests Hogwarts these days. It was suppose to be easy and fun and he was suppose to stay stringless and unattached as ever.

But that didn’t happen.

Instead, Sirius walked into the Howling Moon  and was met by the sight of the most lovely, most gorgeous boy he’s ever met. Hand to God, it felt like one of those slow motion moments in a Romantic Comedy when the disgruntled, wayward lead first sets their eyes on that love interest— the one to out shine all others, the one  who turns everything inside out and makes it all glitter gold.

“Hey there,” Remus had grinned like the fucking sun, slipping the pen from his ear and hand poised over the cups lining the counter. “What can I get ya?”

“Oh, erm— Yeah. Just a caramel macchiato, iced.”Sirius’s ordinarily smooth baritone almost fucking cracked while ordering, and Remus’s beautiful eyes had glittered.

“Would’ve taken you for a dark roast sort of guy.” He said, and Sirius swears that it was playful and flirtatious and a little mischievous too. 

Sirius was in love.

“I’ve been known to partake in sweets, you know, if they catch my eye,” he replied, eyes lingering meaningfully up and down Remus’s slighter frame.

“What a come on,” Remus had laughed, head thrown back to show off his long neck and Sirius was so fucking gobsmacked at how it quite literally sounded like all the most splendid instruments woven together.

He had ducked his head, so unordinary bashful but so beyond pleased. “What can I say beautiful, you bring it out of me.”

“”Cute.” Remus had chuckled, cheeks going a fetching red and scribbling down the order. “Definitely one of the more interesting one liners I’ve gotten today.”

Sirius ignored the flare of jealousy over that, considering that he hasn’t gotten to even kiss him yet, and he should probably take this slow if he doesn’t want to screw it up. “Has anyone of those bastards mentioned how your eyes put the brownies on sale to shame?”

“No one as hot as you if I’m being honest,” Remus retorted, ringing him up and sinking his teeth into his plump bottom lip. And fuck, Sirius knew he was in trouble from then on.

They had talked for over half an hour about nothing at all in that tiny bistro while Remus was busy exchanging the coffee pots for a fresh batch and rearranging the baked goods, and it was amazing.

 Sirius has always been someone who couldn’t sit still, who had to be fluttering all over the place to feel like he was actually headed somewhere, like he was getting something finished. But for the first time in too long, just sitting there, still and silent and besotted while Remus chatted about his hometown and moving half way across the country and his eccentric mother— Well Sirius felt completely balanced, completely calm. He felt like just as long as Remus was their chatting with him and smiling in that beguiling way of his, that Sirius could actually breathe without pressure. Like he knew what it meant to have a center.

So of course, right when he decided that he was going to snatch him up— to ask him out on a date before anyone else from their shitty class filled with degenerates and dick heads could— Lily of all people  had swaggered in, and gave him a caustic sort of glower that plainly said, keep the fuck away.

Ordinarily Sirius would’ve completely ignored her warning, would’ve unashamedly and excitedly chased after the cutest fucking boy he’s ever laid his eyes on with an absurd sort of zeal. But he under estimated just how much sway Lily was able to cater with Remus in the few weeks they worked with one another before he had met him. So instead of starting off the year with a brand new, insanely pretty boyfriend wrapped around one arm, Sirius has just spent the past nine weeks pining like a fucking love sick loser. Like he was starring in some cheesy John Hughes movie from the damn 80s!

And this will not do, this is not all right, not okay at all.

Sirius needs to figure out a way to get close to Remus, and outside of Lily’s overbearing claws. Something that only Remus likes, that Sirius can partake in to prove himself worthy.

As he promenades down the hall towards his free period, Sirius creates a mental check list of the things he knows Remus enjoys.

Remus enjoys poetry, and Sirius knows that he’s part of the school’s award winning Forensics team. But they meet during the football practices so Sirius couldn’t even try to impress him in that arena until the spring. He also knows that Remus likes history, that he’s going to end up majoring in classics in University, but Sirius really doubts his ability to memorize the Iliad in the matter of a few hours— He’s good, but not that good.

“Jesus fuck is this hard,” he mutters nastily to himself, tugging at the ends of his dark hair before ramming straight into a display outside the southern wing of their preparatory school’s building.

He winces, not so much for the throbbing in his toes, but because of Marlene’s snappish attitude when he makes it so that the table shakes.

“Keep your head out your ass Black,” she scolds before going back to filing her nails. And Sirius is about to snipe right back at her— That is until he catches on the bright poster adorned with small rainbows and the words, GSA FOOD DRIVE spelt out in large lettering.

And oh!

“Eureka!”

“Pardon?” Marlene asks, nose wrinkled indelicately as she eyes him like he’s about to puke on her brand new Doc Martens again like last weekend. Holy shit, she should really get over it by now.

But Sirius is smart enough and tactful enough not to mention his thoughts on the matter, only smiles down at her with pure elation. “Marls, what if I said I had a brilliant idea to help our lovely GSA.”

“I’d accuse you to only doing it to try and get in Lupin’s pants since he’s our new VP.”

Sirius grapples for his chest, feigning indignant. “You pain me my old friend.”

Marlene snorts. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“That’s neither here nor there.”

“So are your chances with Lupin.”

“You’re a sick fuck McKinnon.”

“What do you want from me you gnat.”

“Let me help with the fundraiser.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll tell Lily to get Meadowes to notice you?”

Marlene glares at him now. “We’ve been fucking for like a month you prick.”

“Oh— Erm, then for some of that good old Bi unity?”

Marlene suddenly looks so very shrewd and Sirius hates how every fucking woman in his life could eat him whole for breakfast. “Absolutely not.”

“Fine, what the fuck do you want.”

“You cover Fabian’s costs for the goods  when we go to that rave for 2KBABY in January.”

“Eh, didn’t you guys use to fuck?”

“Yes. But I don’t see the connection?”

“He won’t even give you a discount on the good shit?”

“Oh he does,” she leers, blue eyes glinting wickedly in the hallway light. “But I’d rather see you pay full price for’m.”

Sirius glares down at her, and repeats himself.  “You. Are. A. Sick. Fuck.”

Marlene just lies back in her seat and returns to manicuring her nails. “Well if cheekbones isn’t worth the bother?”

“Fine,” Sirius all but growls out. “But we do this my way.”

“Scout’s honor handsome,” she absolutely beams, and Sirius reminds himself that this is all for Remus and that’s worth it at the end of the day.

.-

It’s a week later, right before Thanksgiving break hits, and Sirius is sat in front of the cafeteria, smirking at the line of mostly pink faced girls and a few others amongst their midst, who have all queued up in front of him. A dollar in each of their hands, though he does see that a few have fives and even tens or more, and he doesn’t know how to subtly tell them that all he’s promising is a quick peck of his lips, and absolutely no other groping— including of his legendary ass or admittedly perfect abs.

“You’re just really enjoying yourself, aren’t you.” James hisses besides him after the latest girl— a blonde sophomore who’s decked out in Lulu Lemon for their only non uniform day of the week— scurries off. “Just a ego trip.”

“Jealous Jamie darling?” Sirius boasts, tipping back on his chair while Marlene collects the cash from the next five in line so that they can clammer closer towards him.

“I can’t believe all of them want to kiss you,” Peter marvels, round eyes completely in aw. 

“I can’t believe you think this is how to get Remus’s attention,” Lily interjects huffily, lips set in a moody pout while perched on James’s lap to Sirius’s left.

“I bet you would’ve been in line if you weren’t dating Jamie here.” Sirius counters, smug as all get out, and laughing when all Lily deigns as a adequate response is her middle finger.

Sirius is on cloud nine. He can’t believe he didn’t think of this sooner! Remus loves all this shit, from the club to the charity. This is perfect! This basically guarantees that he’ll finally get a good smooch on him. And once their lips finally  touch, Remus will surely feel the swarm of butterflies in his gut just like in those Harleyquin romance novels his cousin Narcissa would always read with a dreamy look on her face during their various Family vacations.

“You’re not gonna get him this way.”

“He’s not gonna know what hit’m Evans,” Sirius retorts, completely self assured.

.-

One should never bet against Lily Marie Evans.

Sirius knows this now. But he still hates it with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

By the end of the lunch hour, Sirius’s earned over sixty bucks to the GSA’s fundraiser fund, and absolutely zero potential boyfriends who look like golden angels and make Sirius’s knees weak.

“I told you,” Lily says in that sing-song sort of voice that is so not appreciated right now. “Remus is not the type to kiss you in front of a huge crowd and after like a bunch of others. That’s not his style.”

Sirius is moody as all get out, and he’s irritated that he’s just wasted five dozen perfectly fine kisses on folks who aren’t Remus, so he doesn’t bother to hide his irritation when he gripes back at her, “Then tell me what the fuck is his style.”

Miraculously, that actually proved enough to get Lily to slow down her stroll, and cock her head curiously at him. “You actually care.”

“What the fuck have I been trying to tell you Evans!” He nearly shouts.

“I just thought— You know. That it was a game.”

Sirius’s face goes stoney, and he juts his chin away from her. “It’s not always a fucking game, all right. It’s not a game with him— I like him. I like Remus.”

“Oh,” Lily says very quietly, her face pulled in a thousand different directions before settling on something akin to solemn. “You should go to the music room for your free period today.”

Sirius quirks a brow at her, frowning while he asks, “Why?”

“Just trust me S,” she says, reaching over her hand to squeeze his forearm.

Sirius watches her walk off, hand in hand with James, and he feels a strange twisting to his heart when he imagines a very similar image— only with him and Remus and punctuated by plenty of kisses to the cheek, and jawline and lips too.

.-

The music room is towards the back of the school, in a separate building along with the theatre and main auditorium.

The early autumnal chill lashes against Sirius’s face while he makes the track to the room, continuously chanting to himself that he actually trusts Lily and this is gonna be worth it if there’s a merciful God up there.

Once Sirius clammers in doors, he rubs his cold hands together, and shakes out his hair. 

The first thing he hears is the soft strumming of a guitar, and finds himself in front of the music room after following its melodic toon. 

Through the window he can spot the form of Remus bent over the instrument, his thick curls getting in his eyes and his steady hands plucking a few chords as he sits cross legged atop the piano.

Sirius feels his heart lodging in his throat at the sight of him, so beautiful and perfect and warm looking in that scarlet sweater. And he knows in his bones that this is some sort of unspoken blessing that Lily’s given him, so with a deep breath, Sirius opens the door and strolls in.

Remus starts slightly, going flushed once his eyes catch on Sirius’s own.

“Oh Sirius,” he greets, the corners of his mouth tipping into a smile that doesn’t ring true. “You pulled away from the haram?”

“That’s a bit much? Calling them a haram,” Sirius says cooly, hitching up besides him and swinging his long legs. “I just did it to help you.”

“Oh— Yeah,” Remus nods. “The GSA appreciates all the help we can get.”  His words are quiet, and he’s rinsing a hand through his curls, so Sirius can tell that he’s a bit nervous. And it’s impossibly cute, but also not on. He doubts that he’ll ever get his kiss if Remus won’t even look at him in the eyes.

Gingerly, Sirius sets the pad of his pointer finger beneath Remus’s chin, lifting his gaze upwards. “Not the GSA— Though I appreciate the club’s work and your part in that.”

“Oh,” Remus says again, lips pursed and his throat pulsing when he swallows down. “Then—“

“I did it for you Remus,” Sirius repeats heatedly. “I did it because I’ve been mad for you since ever meeting you in August, and I can’t get your fucking face or name or lips or ass out of my head. And I thought that if maybe I pulled a dumb stunt like that, you would actually kiss me along with the lot of those idiots who can’t even hold a candle to you.”

“M—My ass?” Remus questions, voice going pitchy and face bright with emotion. 

Sirius laughs, booming and bombastic. “You have the best ass I’ve ever seen Remus Lupin and it’s really obscene.”

Remus shoulder checks him, looking down and then back up through his lashes at Sirius and it’s a sight Sirius wish he can keep with him for the rest of his days.

“So you thought I’d want our first kiss to happen after you’ve just made out with half the school?” 

Sirius grimaces, bending down so that their lips are only inches apart. “Listen, I can be a complete dumb ass on occasion.”

���Don’t forget arrogant.”

“Okay, fair.”

“And brash too.”

“Right.”

“Also you tend—“

Sirius places a soft hand over Remus’s supple lips, glaring teasingly at the other boy, who’s grinning like the cat who’s caught the canary, his eyes teeming with laughter. 

Remus Lupin is going to be the death of  him, Sirius knows it.

“Listen Lupin, I’d like a shred of self respect here, so I can actually muster up the courage to ask you out on a proper date already.”

Remus perks at that, so Sirius moves his grasp.

 “You wanna ask me out?”

“Depends…. You wanna continue that little rant until I’m blue balled and  gutless.”

“Hmm,” Remus inches closer, setting his hand over Sirius’s on the piano. “Nah, I think I’d rather do this.”

He leans forwards and Sirius barely has enough time to gather his bearings when he feels Remus’s mouth over his own and it’s literally every starlit promise and sugar burnt secret and sunlit afternoon all rolled into one. And Sirius feels his heart thud an uneven staccato when he grabs for either end of Remus’s waistline and plunges his tongue into his own and he lets himself get lost in the overwhelming feeling of it all.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello!! Can I request some headcanons about Rantaro, Mukuro, Kazu, Taka, Kokichi, Nagito and Leon with SHSL Moodkeeper/Caregiver (i dont know the word)? They is, like, always on a guard to calmly end every arguments and tences in their group, and to give a hand or shoulder for cry to anyone who is in a bad mood. Ultimate stress-relive person, i guess? Also, they has good empathy, but still is very bad in guessing ofters opinion about them, so they really didnt notice someone loving them. Thx!!

I’d say they’re a SHSL Peacekeeper! ^^

.......

Rantaro

He likes how you mediate situations when they start getting out of hand.

Of course, he’s good at calming people down, too, though he’s glad to see you step in as well.

The fact you could settle conflicts between the rowdy ones like Kaito, Miu, and Kokichi so easily is like a miracle.

You also swiftly came to Kaede’s defense when everyone got upset with her for forcing them through the Death Road of Despair. 

Before leaving, Rantaro witnessed you hugging the pianist as she cried.

You’re just so kind and caring to everybody.

It was those positive qualities of yours that just naturally...drew him to you.

And eventually they made him fall for you completely.

But despite your talent of reading people like open books...you aren’t too certain about what they think of you.

So when Rantaro hangs out with you more, you just believe he’s a close friend and nothing more.

Though when he visits your lab one day with your favorite gift and asks you out...you pretty much short-circuit.

Someone as sweet and as handsome as him??? Liking you?????

Mukuro

Watching you resolve conflicts without violence is an eye-opening experience for her.

You mean you don’t have to threaten to stab someone??? Or prepare yourself for an attack???

So when you break up a fight between her and Junko with just your words alone, she’s completely baffled.

You feel bad for Mukuro, helping her up when her sister kicks her down, saying she doesn’t deserve to be degraded so much.

She’s even more confused because she thought the insults were Junko’s way of showing familial love.

But perhaps..the soldier was wrong about that.

Over time, she starts giving you more of her attention.

Makoto smiling at her was one thing..but for you to actually care about her?

She just wants to give every bit of her heart to you.

But you aren’t sure what she exactly thinks of you, so...for a while you don’t notice.

She’ll never get past admiration from a distance, though, as she doesn’t know how to express those feelings to you.

Eventually, you’ll notice and reciprocate them.

Kazuichi

He’s perplexed at how the hell you manage to keep so calm all the time, especially when almost everyone was panicking on the island..

No matter how much the class argues, you always end those debates peacefully somehow--even in trials.

After spending some time with you, he eventually confides in you about his insecurities and such.

And you always listen no matter how much he pours his heart out to you.

You just pat his back and offer your sympathy whenever he gets emotional, never judging him.

He’s glad he can someone to rely on..to the point where he feels like he can be his true self around you.

He grows to like you for more than just your talent, though.

You have great looks and a cool personality!

Unfortunately you’re kinda oblivious, so he’s nervous to confess in fear you won’t return the feelings.

He’ll probably need advice from his buddies.

Taka

Like him, you always strive to reach the best compromise among your peers.

And he admires that a lot!

You usually solve conflicts sooner than he does (probably because you aren’t always yelling and can read the room better).

Plus, you’ve taken a sort of therapist role in the class, having a lot of empathy (which Taka himself sometimes lacks) and always willing to help people out.

Sometimes he’ll go to you just to rant about the stress of his studies and whatever else he’s dealing with.

He trusts you enough and thinks venting is a healthy way to get his emotions out.

The talks often end with you hugging him while he cries into your shoulder.

But he always feels a hundred times better afterwards.

It’s not long before he finds himself catching feelings for you.

He can hardly look you in the eyes while you’re speaking, tending to blush when you just smile in his general direction.

Like Kaz, he’ll probably need advice from someone because he doesn’t know how to confront these new feelings.

Kokichi

You two are basically polar opposites.

He’s a little shithead that gets people riled up on purpose.

While you’re the mediator who reassures them he just wants to cause mischief.

Not even he can say he’s lying about that.

So he makes it his mission to get you annoyed with him.

He’ll try speaking over you by blurting out another lie in trials...

Only to pout when you ignore him.

Then he tries cheating in games he plays with you..

Only for you to explain how it’s more fun when everyone plays fairly.

There’s just no winning for him, so he eventually stops and huffs.

You definitely like playing hard-to-get.

Especially when he realizes you’ve become more than just a “friend he can annoy” in his eyes.

He’ll get frustrated when you don’t immediately realize that, too, though.

Nagito

Of all the talents he’s observed, he finds yours most admirable.

Insists you should never let yourself--or anyone--take your talent for granted (and of course, you don’t).

He sees you lending a helping hand to anyone who needs it and is awestruck

You’re truly a shining example of hope.

He’s hesitant to come to you with any of his troubles, convinced trash like him isn’t worth your time.

But you empathize with him and understand why he feels that way.

He’s been stuck in a cycle of luck all his life, usually hurting or killing those close to him.

As time goes on, though, you get him to open up.

Soon he falls in love with not only your hope...but also, well, you.

He’d tell you directly, but...it would be more interesting to watch you figure that out yourself.

Leon

He's surprised how easily you can settle disputes with everyone.

Doesn’t it get tiring for you?

Though you always tell him it’s never a bother.

You understand everyone has their insecurities and tend to lash out.

He gets a bit defensive when he realizes you mean him, too.

But he just proved your point.

Sometimes he’ll rant to you about baseball practice giving him unneeded pressure and his uncertainties about what he really wants to do in life.

You suggest he feels misguided due to his attempts to impress random girls instead of focusing on himself.

He’s stunned you could read him like an open book.

Before long, he finds himself lovestruck yet again--not just because of your looks but also because of your sweet and upbeat nature.

So he tries improving himself first before he’s ready to ask you out.

Though when you don’t know for sure how he feels around you...he’ll get agitated and ends up blurting out his confession.

[ibijau]

Writing prompt: How about a forbidden relationship AU for Xisang? Might include some character tweaking here and there, but somehow, Jin Guangyao's murder attempt fails and this causes the Nie Sect to essentially go to war with the Jins due to lack of evidence. The rest of the sects pick a side, except for the Lans, who are neutral as Xichen tries to desperately mediate the situation between his sworn brothers before this cold war escalates. To Nie Minjue, this makes him no better than actually siding with the Jins, and so, he cuts ties with the Lans as well.

He can't trust anyone outside of his own sect, he knows that now.

Cue an exasperated Nie Huaisang just trying to keep his brother from losing his mind even further while plotting to take down Jin Guangyao and also falling in love trying to manipulate a certain pretty Lan to help him in the process.

In truth, it was Lan Qiren that Nie Huaisang had been trying to contact. He'd been just as furious at Lan Xichen as his brother when Gusu Lan had announced they would would stay out of this conflict between Qinghe Nie and Lanling Jin.

Almostas furious.

It was hard to be as angry as Nie Mingjue, these days. A side effect of that failed murder attempt. His mind had never fully recovered from nearly falling into a Qi deviation and since that day Nie Mingjue was... different.

Nie Huaisang had figured that what had been caused by music might be solved by music, so he'd written to Lan Qiren. He'd been terrified of the man when he was young, but since the war they'd developed something Nie Huaisang might have been tempted to call friendship, if he'd been the sentimental type. They chatted at discussion conferences, they played weiqi when they had the chance, they wrote to each other more frequently than they did to others...

They usedto write.

Of course, Nie Mingjue had forbidden contacts with enemy sects now. And that meant almost the whole cultivation world these days, but especially Gusu Lan.

Still, Nie Huaisang had managed to send a secret message to the Cloud Recesses, begging Lan Qiren to come meet him at a certain place. He hadn't signed his letter but had dropped some hints as to his identity, and of course he hadn't been stupid enough to directly mention the other man's name either. There was always the chance of the letter being intercepted after all.

And it had been intercepted indeed.

Because when Nie Huaisang went to that meeting point he'd suggested, he found the wrong Lan waiting for him in that hard to find little clearing.

“Huaisang!” Lan Xichen exclaimed when he saw him at the edge of the clearing, before running toward Nie Huaisang and taking the younger man's hands in his own freezing ones. “I was almost sure it would be you, but I couldn't be certain... I'm so glad to be seeing you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Nie Huaisang retorted, too shocked to bother with manners. “You're... why are you here? Surely you don't think you're the person I want to see?”

Lan Xichen's smile, already so strained as to look desperate, fell. His grip on Nie Huaisang's hands loosened for a moment, before tightening to the point of near pain.

“But you wrote to me,” he said. “You said you needed help.”

“I do need help, but not from you.”

When Lan Xichen only looked more confused and hurt, Nie Huaisang scoffed.

“You had your chance to help, er-ge, and instead you told everyone that you had no idea who was telling the truth between da-ge and san-ge.”

Lan Xichen released Nie Huaisang's hands and took a step backward, quickly putting some much welcome distance between them.

“Did you make me come here for this?” he asked, sounding wounded. “I thought...” He paused, and sighed. “Of course you're angry. You have every right to be. But Huaisang, I'm not...”

Lan Xichen sighed again, and glanced around, as if fearing someone might here what he would say next. It was unlikely anyone else would be there. Nie Huaisang had found this deserted place while trying to catch a bird, and had figured out quickly that it was isolated from the human world. So unless Lan Xichen had been followed... and it was unlikely. Lan Xichen had his faults, but he wasn't easy to catch by surprise, not for these things anyway.

“Gusu Lan isn't like other sects,” Lan Xichen explained, lowering his voice. “A Lan sect leader is never a tyrant. Not anymore. I am a figurehead, with the elders making every important decision for the sect.”

“So what, you're saying you're not neutral after all?” Nie Huaisang scoffed.

Lan Xichen severely nodded.

“Jin Guangyao could play that song to perfection,” he said with a grimace. “He could not have made any mistakes.”

“Yes, well, he still...”

“I mean that it cannothave been an accident if he played the wrong song,” Lan Xichen said. “I taught him personally, I made him repeat it countless times, I made sure that he could have played it perfectly even without the score if needed, and he never missed a single note. Which I told the council of elders. They were... not happy to hear my opinion on that matter.”

Nie Huaisang blinked a few times. “But... but why not just tell people anyway? Who cares about some stupid old men, why not...”

“They have Wangji,” Lan Xichen said.

“He's on their side?”

“No. But he's... I cannot explain too much, I have sworn secrecy,” Lan Xichen sighed, clenching his fists. “All I will say is that Wangji has done a great wrong in the past, and while the council of elders have agreed to show mercy, they're now threatening to have him suffer the true punishment for his crime if I act rashly and throw our sect into another war. I cannot let my brother die.”

So you're choosing him over Mingjue, Nie Huaisang almost shouted, only to realise he'd do the same. There was no friend in the world he wouldn't sacrifice for the good of his brother. Already Jiang Cheng, once one of his favourite people, was dead to him for siding with the Jins.

“But you're still here,” Nie Huaisang said. “Why?”

“You wrote that you needed help,” Lan Xichen replied a little too softly, averting his eyes. “Of course I came.”

His cheeks were a little pink, and combined with the rest...

Oh.

Well, wasn't that interesting.

Nie Huaisang took this new information into account, added it to what he knew about the Lans in general, that Lan in particular, and wondered if he could use that to his advantage.

Probably.

A man would do for a lover what he might not do for a friend, and it looked as though Lan Xichen only needed a little push to rebel against his elders.

“You're right, I do need help,” Nie Huaisang admitted, controlling his voice to sound just a touch whinier, the way he always used to do before he was forced out of his preferred comedy by the threat of war. “Er-ge, I really don't know what to do,” he said, concocting a lie close enough to the truth that Lan Xichen could actually do something useful about Nie Mingjue's state, vague enough that even if Lan Xichen betrayed them nobody would know the true state of Qinghe Nie's leader. “I really need help! I'd been trying to reach your uncle, but since you're here, and... I don't know who else to turn to, and if you'reon our side... if I can't trust you, who can I trust, rigth?”

Lan Xichen, bless his sweet and gullible soul, eagerly nodded, and took Nie Huaisang's hands again as if to comfort him. It was almost too easy, and Nie Huaisang could see how Jin Guangyao had gotten so much out of Lan Xichen.

Nie Huaisang was almost sorry for Lan Xichen, who was about to have his feelings toyed with, but...

But nothing mattered except saving Nie Mingjue, and time was running out.

Surely Lan Xichen would understand putting one's brother's life above everything else, wouldn't he?

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

The Joan Jett Quartet

Part 3: Cherrybomb (Klaus x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: NC-17 FILTHY! Light bondage, oral (fem receiving), pegging, use of sex toys, language, consensual rough sex, voyeurism

A/N: It had been so long since you and Klaus played your dirty little game of give and take. And The Prophet was yours for the taking. 

Part 1  Part 2

Dedicated, as always, with love to my most fatastic ride or die @robertsheehanownsmyass And also @slutforrobbiebro and @frogs--are--bitches

You adjusted the straps and hoped what was inside your linen pants was concealed just enough. At least until you were ready.

You took a few hours getting used to this appendage that hung between your legs. It was in the way for most everything you participated in during the day. So you stood with your legs further apart, or sat that way as well. You tried desperately not to reach down and adjust yourself for fear others might figure it out.

Suddenly, Klaus was beside you as you looked out over the swimming pool. He loomed so large over the Children, but could be completely human with you. That scent of hibiscus, gin and hookah smoke filled your nostrils as he wrapped you up in his arms.

“Jill is worried about you, little chicken.” Klaus used that stupid name from the night he punished you for insubordination. A pet name, one of endearment. Yet it had been so long since the two of you played.

“I'm fine,” You weren't. This.. thing in your pants was annoying. You had grown into it at least.

“She said you were walking funny?” his voice lifted at the end. “I can't imagine why. You've not needed to be disciplined in a while” It was if he read your mind. “I’d like to think I'm being gentle.” His face got lost in your hair and took a deep breath.

Klaus was telling the truth. These days, or nights, or warm afternoons, you made more love than fucked. He became almost obsessed with looking at you. Wanting a connection with someone to the point where he wouldn't pull out until well after he came. He would beg to be inside of you a little longer. If only you knew why YOU were Klaus’s special choice.

You pushed into him a bit with the curve of your ass. Klaus became instantly hard. A smirk played on your lips knowing how much control you had of the situation so quickly.

“Oh you have been, but I know you have certain appetites. As lovely as it's been, I can totally see in your eyes that flash of ‘please punish me.’ Which is tempting because this ‘tantric, cum together, lemme go four hours before I get off’ shit you learned in India annoying. Mediate all you want, but if I got my hands around your throat and just,” you mimed strangling him. “You would explode right in the middle of your stupid breathing technique. Then I’d get some feeling back in my legs”

Klaus enveloped you. Instead of a lover’s embrace, he compressed your body as much as possible. The air rushed out of your lungs as he squeezed tight like a snake with a mouse. His strength always caught you by total surprise. One arm around your chest, the other your stomach as he held you vicelike. There was that power switch. He hated being bested.

“I know pain makes you wet too,” his voice snarled. His hand tried to grab your sex to prove a point, but he got a surprise instead. His entire hand enclosed around the shaft through the fabric of your clothes. “My what a nice cock you have.”

You reached a hand behind and dug your nails into his hard on. “I wish I could say the same for you.”

Klaus’s hold deflated but not his erection. You urged him to stroke the imitation between your legs like you were doing to his real one. Your palms moved in unison as your breath both began to hitch. He tugged when you did, your bodies moving in a strange dance on the stone terrace.

Klaus turned your head sideways so he could get his tongue far inside your mouth. Fighting and doing a dance with yours while you gained speed with your hand.

“I bet you’re not even that good at sucking dick,” you broke the kiss to toss the insult over your shoulder.

You spun around and fought to take the wheel back. You reached inside and sunk your claws into Klaus’s balls. The only way you could think of bringing him to his knees as he winced with pain. Yet somehow grew even more stiff as he knelt down before you.

“Is this what we look like from up here?” Your fingers began to ravel around the hair on the back of his head. You yanked it so he was made to look at you. “eager to please the prophet with our mouths full. They're always begging you to speak, but choking themselves on your dick.”

Klaus put his hands on your hips. One of them inched under your shirt. He drew your hips towards his face and kissed your stomach. You let out a sigh before he released the imitation cock you wore.

Klaus was tentative about the way he licked at it. Just the tip of his tongue at first, darting in and out over the head. Then he sucked on it, took more of the shaft in his mouth. His head began to bob down towards your pelvis and back. The way he swallowed it as much as he could while he held tight to your ass. He alternated between long licks up the side and consuming it whole.

“It's a fucking shame I can't feel this. Doesn’t mean I don't want you to gag any less than you made me.”

Your hips thrust with a certainty that Klaus could feel the tip at the back of his throat. He was soundless though save for the soft sucking sounds. You started to fuck his mouth. The way he and other men had done to you. Your hips pumped back and forth. How much was enough when you couldn't climax like a man?

In a moment of clairvoyance, Klaus dragged his mouth backwards so that the imitation cock was slowly revealed. There was a satisfactory sound like yanking a suction cup off a surface. He gazed up at you with large green eyes silently asking you to further command him. Your fingers seizing his thick tresses so he couldn't look anywhere but you.

“How many nights have you worried about these.. morons finding out you’re a fake? That you admitted to me you were fraudulent. I love a fucking secret, and that's such a big one you trust me with. Would be such a shame if they found out.”

“You can't do that,” Klaus sounded afraid.

Yet you weren't sure if he was playing along or truly scared you'd out him to the others. Something in the back of his pleading let you know he would be relieved. To cast off the shackles of these expectant leeches he created.

“You could expose yourself to them another way. How human you would finally seem getting fucked up the ass by one of them. Your chosen one.”

Klaus climbed to his feet and pulled his boots off. He clambered out of his jeans, after he undid his belt and tossed his shirt aside. He stood in only his underwear.

You arched an eyebrow. “It's so amazing to me you can fuck the way you do,” you pinched his lithe waist, “Seeing there's not much to you.” You got your nails into his chin and tilted his head to the side. You let them trace a line along his jawbone. “Fortunately you've got quite the face. No one cares about the proverbs you spew or diatribes you go on. It's how fucking otherworldly beautiful you are. Gorgeous enough to just ruin.”

Klaus took a breath and rolled his eyes. Your hand tightened around his throat. “Don't you remember how obstinance is rewarded? All that bullshit yoga, you ought to be flexible. Fucking bend over, and show me.” You reached for his belt. “What are you always saying to me when you want anal?” You mimicked his voice, ‘Let's see how tight that ass is?”

Not having to command, Klaus held his wrists out. “Why do you still have clothes on? Naked.”

He obeyed and stripped completely. Being without clothes wasn't that big a deal to Klaus. He walked around the compound nude all the time. There were days most of you did. It's the having no control over his situation that really left him naked.

You took his arms and held them behind his back. You looped the belt around and hooked it through the buckle. You pulled the strap as tight as possible so that Klaus’s wrists were bound. His stance was wide legged, cock completely erect.

“Bend. over.”

And like Klaus had done to you when he assessed your body, you stood beside him and bent his body. His back flat like a table. You ran your hand along his tanned skin and spine before seizing his cock again.

“I lied. I might be a little.. terse with you, but I don't think I'm cruel,” you tapped your chin but kept Klaus’s erection firmly in your grasp. “I forgot something that MIGHT make fucking you a bit easier. You aren't exactly in a state to run to the house. So how about you fuck me first. With your mouth of course.”

You pushed Klaus’s head down to indicate he should kneel. Arms bound behind his back, he eagerly complied.

He sat back on his haunches to watch you undress. You wore only the strap on, which was lifted up to expose your cunt. Then you anchored yourself on Klaus’s shoulders. His mouth deftly finding your quick-swelling lips so his tongue could dart out. He probed you by pushing his tongue deep and forcing an instant slick from within.

You moaned. Klaus’s body twisted at an odd angle to get further inside of you. He lapped and flicked at you while searching for that bud of nerves and maintained his silence. There was a soft growl or two as he expertly worked your clit. Klaus circled it, tilted his head enough to run his tongue along you as you started to throb. He moved at a breakneck speed, one you never experienced from him before.

The pleasure was overwhelming as you reached to help Klaus along. Your fingers separated your slit so he had easier access to your clit now. Your hips rocked into him as you rode his face. Your balance lost a time or two but you steadied yourself in your abandon.

The two of you were so brazen in the setting sun. On the terrace knowing followers were around to catch or watch. Klaus with his wrists strapped by a belt. You wearing a fake dick, fucking his face. Your heart and cunt raced together as you started to spark. The fuse began to catch in the center of your body and suddenly it exploded with sparks as you came. Crying out unexpectedly so that your voice echoed off the stone.

“Fuck. What comes out of your mouth is sometimes so cliché, but the things you let me put in it.”

You fumbled around with the fake cock so that you could shift it towards your body. Klaus sat back and watched. His mouth and chin glistened with your orgasm which he surreptitiously attempted to lick from his lips. The devil in his eyes as he kept his composure.

“I don't think you have ever been this quiet in the two years I've been here.”

You situated the rubber dick enough to plunge it into yourself almost fully. It slid in with ease and out a few times. You repeated this enough to get it as lubricant as possible. Then wrapped your fingers in Klaus’s hair to yank him into position again.

“When I fuck you, I want you to tell me how good it feels.”

Your hand was on the tip of the cock to center it between Klaus’s ass. Your other wrapped up in the leather strap to help pull his hips towards you as you slowly plunged inside of him.

“Further,” Klaus managed around the air he finally released from his lungs.

“That wasn’t loud enough,” you informed him. You had his forearms in each hand as you sunk in more.

“Harder!” Klaus raised his voice more. “Fuck me.”

You tugged him backwards by the arms so that the strap on was sheathed by Klaus’s body. He yelled out in shock, so you hesitated in case..

“Fuck me. Hard. I want to feel your hips against my ass.” Klaus begged. He had his neck curved so that his head was facing up. And angle that would catch passersby.

You used Klaus’s arms as leverage. Creating a push and pull as you began slamming into him. How often did he rut against you like an animal when you got fucked from behind. Now you returned the favor.

It wasn't long before Klaus started to make an animal noise each time your pelvis crashed into his ass. Your nails clawed at his arms and tied wrists while you started to jerk your hips like you knew he did. Short bursts then pulled almost out and jerked back in.

“That feels so fucking good,” Klaus’s words were punctuated by your thrusts.

You weren't sure how much longer you could stand. You knew from Klaus that men got off differently this way than women. Parts of him inside were like a clit, but like you he maybe needed manual stimulation too. So you bent over him. You bit his back in the realm of playful crossed with marking your territory as you turned to jerking him off simultaneously.

“Holy shit!” Klaus yelled out. You were so lost in making him cum that you didn't realize he wasn't referring to your hands and dick.

Your gazed matched his to catch slack jawed followers on the sidewalk and patio on the upper level. Some curious, others blazed green with envy as you became theatrical with your fucking. The two of you looking them all dead on.

“What’s wrong?!” Klaus shouted in their direction. “Haven't you ever seen a prophet get ass fucked by someone?! And don't stop, I'm gonna cum.”

You trained your eyes on everyone, and stood. Your hands firmly on Klaus’s arms once more as you buried yourself into him one more time. His body arched and exploded. The sticky substance managed to cover his chest and stomach.

You situated yourself and took the strap-on off. Klaus straightened his body so that he was at his full height. He contorted enough to break free from the belt constraints. His body shook ever so slightly from the orgasm effects while he lifted your palm to his mouth and kissed it. Then bent to kiss you, tongue far inside your mouth. You could taste your cunt on his lips as you danced with him.

“This is what happens, Children, when you become my Chosen One!”

You let a selfish grin play across your lips in response.

Tag: @robertsheehanownsmyass @firstpersonnarrator @super-unpredictable98 @messengeronthemoon @nightmonsters @bisexualnathanyoung @rob-private @forenschik @magic-multicolored-miracle

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Operation: Reconnection

*Thomas Jefferson x Reader

*Request from @lula132: “Could I request an imagine where reader and Thomas Jefferson break up, but the hamilsquad see that they're are both super sad, so they try to get them back together even in they hate him?”

*Warnings: Language, alcohol, fighting on birthday (love to see it), like two sex jokes

*A/N: School’s starting up again soon and after that disaster that was last semester I’m ready to simply ~perish~ uwu 

Tip Jar

**********

Knowing that your friends and boyfriend hated each other was frustrating, to say the least. You knew that every hangout that you brought him along was bound to end up in some kind of argument. Not only was there bad blood from college between your friends (except for Lafayette) and your boyfriend, but Alexander working at the same office as Thomas didn’t help the situation at all. It always got worse when Alexander brought up things that happened at work, their professional and personal lives intersecting way too often. 

The breaking point was your birthday dinner. You’d invited your friends and boyfriend, and one rule was supposed to be agreed on: no fighting during dinner. Things had been a little tense at first, but they had managed to be civil for the most part. It wasn’t until you asked Alex how he’d been doing that he brought up work, and soon enough, the issues he had with Thomas were the forefront of the evening. The two of you left soon after, not wanting things to escalate into a screaming match in public as they often did when Thomas and Alexander argued. As soon as the two of you were safe in your apartment, you turned to Thomas, slightly fuming. 

“It’s my birthday, Thomas!”

“I know that!”

“You guys couldn’t stop arguing for one night!”

“How is it my fault that Alexander brought up work?”

“It’s not, but it’s so damn tiring! I’d like to have one night where my friends and my boyfriend don’t fight, and I couldn’t even get that!”

“I tried, Sugar.”

“Well, maybe you should stop trying.”

Thomas paused for a second. “What are you trying to say?”

“Maybe this wasn’t meant to work out.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Then what am I supposed to do, Thomas? It’s obvious you guys don’t like each other, and I just can’t keep playing mediator here. It’s not fair to you to try to make you get along with people you don’t like at all. I think we should break up.”

“Sugar, you don’t mean that. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want you to be stuck in a situation you hate,” you said, looking down. You knew if you looked at him, you wouldn’t be able to go through with it. You didn’t want to go through with it, but maybe it was the best option for the both of you. You were tired of trying to get people who wanted nothing to do with each other to act civil, and you knew Thomas would rather not interact with your friends if he didn’t have to. “Maybe…”

“Sugar, don’t do this.” Thomas stepped forward, cupping your face in his hands. You refused to meet his eyes, your resolve already wavering. “Please.”

“I don’t know, Thomas. I think this is what needs to happen.”

“We can talk about this tomorrow, after we’ve cooled off a bit. I don’t want to leave you alone on your birthday, but I can tell you don’t want me here right now,” he said, keeping his voice steady. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, and you let your eyes close at the soft show of affection. You were going to miss this. “I wish your birthday would have gone better. I love you, please don’t forget that.”

“I love you too,” you nearly whispered, voice cracking. Thomas brushed his thumb over your cheek before dropping his hands. You didn’t open your eyes until you heard the door to your apartment close, and when you finally did open them, you could feel the tears threatening to spill over. You loved him, but sometimes love alone wasn’t enough to make things work.

**********

It was now going on a month after your birthday and the conversation which came on the day after, and you could safely say you weren’t doing fantastic. It was a really difficult conversation, but you were set on your decision. The look on Thomas’s face when you told him there was no changing your mind broke your heart, but when you were thinking about it alone in your apartment, there was no other way. You refused to put Thomas in a position where he would be getting into constant arguments and have to be around people he didn’t like, and you refused to put yourself in the middle of those arguments.

You tried to pull yourself together to get through work and your social life, but it was more draining than before. You’d hang out for maybe an hour before heading back to your apartment to wallow in self pity. Even though it was your decision, it still hurt like hell. You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to hide it from your friends, within days they were able to figure out what was going on with minimal confirmation from you. They assumed it was just the fresh wounds of the breakup, but when you simply weren’t getting better, they knew they had to do something. The reality of the situation didn’t really hit until Alexander was at work, though.

Alexander knocked on the door to Thomas’s office, already prepared to argue. Though he would deny it, he enjoyed his arguments with Thomas, especially when he won. If he didn’t, then he hated them and Thomas. Thomas called for him to come in, not even asking who was there. Alexander opened the door, already on edge. “Jefferson, Washington wants your decision on my proposal by the end of the week. I’ll tell you, I know my-”

“I’ll look it over and sign it in the morning. Is that all?”

“You always dismi- wait, did you say you’ll sign it?” There was no fight, and for once Alexander was rendered speechless. “That’s it? You’re just going to sign it?”

“I’m still going to look over it, but most likely, yes.” Alexander just stared at him, making Thomas finally look up from his computer. Alexander was surprised to see the difference in his rival. While Thomas didn’t look torn apart, there was something off about the man, just enough that Alexander could see it. “Is there something wrong, Hamilton? Do you need anything else?”

“No… Just make sure you look over that proposal.” Alexander turned to leave, confused at the entire thing.

“Will do. Thank you.” That made Alexander stop dead in his tracks.

“Dude, what’s wrong with you?”

“Pardon?”

“You know what? Nevermind.” Alexander needed to get out of there before he just ended up even more confused. The second he was back in his office, he sent out an SOS message to a new group chat without you in it. Eliza had made it, figuring you wouldn’t want to hear complaints about your ex when it was obvious you still weren’t over him.

From: Alex Now

I think Jefferson was just nice to me?

From: Peggy Now

Shouldn’t you be working?

From: Alex Now

No, seriously I went to go remind him to sign my proposal and he just said thank you??? And that he’d sign it???

From: John Now

Maybe (y/n)’s not the only one doing bad

From: Laf Now

I wasn’t going to bring it up, but Thomas has been off. James said he’s mainly been staying at the office

From: Eliza Now

:( That can’t be healthy

From: Angelica Now

I really hate to say it, but maybe we should talk to James and Aaron

From: Herc Now

So, uh, why?

From: Laf Now

…

From: Angelica Now

We’ll fill you in when we meet with the others

Alexander was tasked with getting James and Aaron to agree to meeting with them, which was surprisingly easy. It only took a couple days for the two friend groups to meet up at a bar after work. Everyone settled in with small talk, but once they had drinks in front of them, it was time to get to business.

“Okay, Hamilton, what’s this about?” James asked, taking a drink.

“Listen, (y/n) and Thomas both obviously aren’t doing great. They’ve just been wallowing and we need to get them back together,” Alexander explained.

“Didn’t they break up because of your argument on her birthday?” Aaron asked.

“We’re not pointing fingers here-” Alexander tried starting before getting cut off by John.

“Yeah, he picked a fight and then the next day they broke up. (Y/n)’s like my little sister, it sucks seeing her like this. I know you guys are pretty close to Thomas, so I guess it’s not great for you guys either.” Alexander looked at John, offended. “What, dude? It was going fine until you started talking.”

“Alright, we’ve established it’s Hamilton’s fault. But how are we going to get them back together? Thomas is always at the office, it’s not like he’s going anywhere,” James said.

“And we can’t trick (y/n) into just going to the office. She’ll recognize where we’re going immediately,” Hercules chimed in. “Laf, you’re in both these friend groups. What do you think’ll work?”

“I don’t know, they’re both tricky people. I know it won’t be good if we let this last any longer, though.”

“It’s been hard even trying to get (y/n) out of her apartment, but she’s still been hanging out with us every once in a while. It might be a bit easier to work with her,” Peggy jumped in. “Do you guys think you could manage to drag Thomas out?”

“Laf might be better suited to do that,” James admitted. “Thomas always has been more agreeable when the two of them hang out.”

“We might have to do this with all of us present, just so they can’t try to run away when they see each other,” Eliza commented, resting her chin on her hand. “Who knows, maybe they don’t try to run.”

“Wounds might be too fresh for them to just buddy up to each other, though,” Aaron interjected. “They’ll probably try to avoid each other at least.”

“Guys, come on! We have at least five of the most strategic people I know here, we can think of something,” Angelica said. “It doesn’t have to be right now, but we can get them back together.”

“Well, I think-”

“You don’t get an opinion, Alexander,” Angelica cut him off.

**********

You didn’t know why Peggy and Eliza were dragging you out to this new cafe, but you didn’t mind it. You’d talked to Thomas about going once it opened, but now that the two of you weren’t together anymore, you were pretty much avoiding it. You didn’t want to go alone or bother any of your friends to go with you, but since they brought it up, you weren’t going to deny them. When you walked in and saw all the Instagram couples doing their thing, however, you started having second thoughts. 

“So, how are you doing?” Peggy asked as you sat down with your coffees. You took a sip as you wondered how to answer. There was always the option to pretend you didn’t know what she was trying to hint at, but that just meant prolonging the inevitable. You took another sip just to put off answering for a second longer as the sisters looked at you.

“I mean, not really great. Like, I know you guys might not want to hear this, but I honestly miss Thomas,” you explained. “It’s already been a while and I’m not over him yet, and it’s taken longer to get over than my other relationships too, and I don’t know if that means anything.”

“Well, would you want to get back together with him?” Eliza asked, intently watching you.

“I don’t know. I really miss him, but I just got tired with playing mediator between him and Alexander, no offense to your boyfriend,” you explained. “Actually, full offense to your boyfriend, no offense to you.”

“None taken,” Eliza waved you off. “So, you broke up because him and Alexander couldn’t get along?”

“When you put it like that, I guess? I mean, with how much time I spend with you and Alexander, I guess-” 

“Screw Alexander!”

“You already do that,” Peggy couldn’t help but quip. 

“What I mean is screw what Alexander thinks. I’ll be honest with you, it’s obvious that you’re miserable without him. Don’t think I didn’t hear you crying in the bathroom at work,” Eliza said, turning to focus solely on you.

“Okay but keep in mind our clients are idiots, it could’ve been because of them,” you tried arguing.

“Honey, I know they don’t get you that bad,” Peggy said. “If Thomas is who makes you happy, then you should be with him. And if Alexander can’t learn to behave, then we’ll just have to train him.”

“What, like a dog?”

“I would say to muzzle him but that’s considered kinky now.” You couldn’t help but laugh at Peggy’s deadpan delivery. “Seriously, all of us just want to see you happy. Even Alexander. Even if it’s with Thomas.”

“But how would I even go about it? I broke up with him, we haven’t talked in like a month now…” You trailed off, not knowing where you were going with that. Eliza took one of your hands in hers, giving it a soft pat.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure that part out.”

“Wait, what do you mean by that?”

“That’s for you to find out.”

**********

Thomas didn’t know why Lafayette was currently sitting behind his desk, refusing to budge from the spot, but he had work to do and his friend was stopping him from doing that. If he stopped working for too long, his mind began to drift back to you and the ache in his chest started all over again. He didn’t want to think about the way you laughed at his corny jokes, the way you  looked at him with pure adoration, the way you fit perfectly in his arms when he held you at night. He didn’t want to think about the hurt look you had the night of your birthday, the way you didn’t even want to look him in the eyes when you ended things the next day. He didn’t want to think about any of it, so he needed his friend to leave right at that moment.

“Laf, could you please go? I have to get back to work,” Thomas said, groaning in annoyance.

“What work could you possibly have, mon ami? James said you’ve been working nonstop,” Laf replied, spinning in the chair. 

“Don’t you have your own job?”

“I have the day off and thought I’d visit a friend,” Lafayette shot back. “We’re not here to talk about me! Why are you acting like Alexander?”

“Pardon?” Thomas asked, genuinely offended. He had no idea where this comparison was coming from, but he sincerely didn’t want to be compared to the sleep deprived idiot that had the office down the hall. Alexander was normally a sore spot for him, but with everything that happened after your birthday dinner, Thomas was a second away from genuinely resenting the other man.

“Two little birdies told me that someone’s just been working. First into the office, last to leave, almost like someone doesn’t want to be left alone with their own thoughts,” Lafayette explained, now picking up a pen from Thomas’s desk and bouncing it between his fingers.

“It’s weird when you do that?”

“What? Read you to filth?”

“I wasn’t going to phrase it like that but I guess.”

“But you admit it. What’s on your mind?”

“How’s (y/n) doing?”

“Ah, okay that clears everything right up,” Lafayette said with a nod. “She’s not doing great, perhaps just as miserable as you are.”

Thomas didn’t want the little hope that came with Lafayette’s words. If anything, he was a little disgusted with himself for being happy that you were upset - miserable, as Laf had put it. After all, he always said he wanted nothing but your happiness; it was what he told you after you had officially ended things. “What do you mean?”

“I felt that was pretty obvious, non?” Lafayette asked. “It’s not like she’s been a little social butterfly lately. We can barely even get her to come out with us. Kind of like how James and Aaron can’t get you out of the office.”

“Do you think I could-”

“Yes.”

“Does she even want to-”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

“Trust me, I do.” With that, Lafayette finally stood from Thomas’s chair. “Come on, let’s get lunch.”

“I can’t, I still have work I need to do.” Thomas was going to sit in his chair, but he stopped dead in his tracks at the look Lafayette was giving him.

“What work? I doubt you have that much work,” Lafayette told him, rolling his eyes. Thomas huffed, straightening back up.

“Fine, let me grab my coat.”

**********

You didn’t know it, but the time for the plan to really go into action was coming up quick. You were now spending your time trying to figure how out you could fix things, but you didn’t know how to take that first step. Would he even be willing to talk to you? Should you try calling him? Texting? Just showing up at his apartment? No, that last one would be a little weird. You still didn’t know what Eliza and Peggy meant by the whole they’d figure it out thing, but you wanted to make it right.

You didn’t think anything of it when John came by on your lunch break to take you out. Your friends had started taking shifts to force you out of your apartment, so it wasn’t anything new. When John mentioned getting drinks once you were done for the day you internally groaned. You wanted to just go home and binge watch the show you’d started watching on Netflix, but knowing John, he wasn’t going to let you do that. You started getting suspicious when he said you should dress up a bit, though.

Even though you didn’t know what he was up to, you followed his directions. Eliza dropped you off at your apartment, telling you John would be there to get you in about an hour. You thought it would be just you and John, but apparently the entire group was in on it. You rolled your eyes, going to quickly shower to freshen up. You didn’t know what exactly John meant by dress up, so you just threw on a knitted sweater and a pair of jeans. The knitted sweater helped hide Thomas’s college t-shirt he left at your apartment.

“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re acting so weird?” you asked John as he drove you wherever you were meeting with the rest of the group.

“I’m not acting weird,” he tried arguing. Even though he couldn’t turn to look at you, he could feel your withering stare. “What?! Is it weird that I wanted you to come out with us?”

“Nah, but it’s weird you told me to dress up.” You rolled your eyes at his obvious deflection. “What’re you guys up to?”

“Oh hey we’re here!” John ignored you as he pulled into the parking lot. You vaguely recognized the area, but couldn’t exactly place it. As soon as you were in the door of the bar, John directed you to get drinks for the both of you while he found your friends. You were about to complain, but when John said drinks would be on him, you really couldn’t.

While you were at the bar, John rushed over to the corner table your friends had gotten. “Alright, she’s here. When’re James and them gonna show up?”

“Aaron said they’re coming in soon,” Angelica reported, looking at her phone. Immediately everyone turned to watch the door. When the three men walked in, they saw James saying something to Thomas, and then Thomas left in the direction of the bar. James and Aaron quickly reached the group.

“Alright, if coincidence isn’t enough to bring them back together, we’ll have to force them,” John said, trying to find you at the bar. Sure enough, you were within a foot of Jefferson.

“Isn’t this us already trying to force them?” Aaron asked.

“Shut up, we’re letting them think it’s coincidence,” Hercules said, taking a drink.

While your friends were scheming, you were just standing at the bar, waiting for your drinks. You were looking at your phone, debating just sending Thomas a text message and asking if he’d be willing to meet you. A few drinks in, and you’d probably send that text message if your friends didn’t stop you. You locked your phone before you could be further tempted, looking around the bar for a decent distraction. You stopped in shock, practically short circuiting as you saw who was two people down from you. Of course.

You tried just looking ahead, hoping he wouldn’t notice you, but your luck really just ran out completely. “(Y/n)?”

You turned, acting like you hadn’t seen him before. “Oh, uh, hey Thomas.”

“What’re you doing here? I mean, not that you’re not allowed to be out or something, I’m just kind of surprised to see you,” he quickly went to correct himself.

“John dragged me out for drinks with everyone. How about you?”

“James and Aaron. They’re actually over… there.” Thomas frowned when he spotted Aaron and James sitting with your friends. You looked over, confused at his tone. When you saw what he did, however, you put the pieces together. “I see they’re with your friends.”

“Yeah, I see that. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The bartender placed your and John’s drinks on the counter behind you, letting the clank of the glasses on the counter alert you.

“I have a feeling this wasn’t a coincidence,” Thomas confirmed.

“God, they really staged this whole thing.” Thomas was next to get the drinks for him and his friends. “You know, I was actually going to text you right before I saw you.”

“Really?” Thomas asked, a shy little smile on his face that he tried to hide by looking down.

“Yeah. Listen, I’m really sorry. Honestly, I regret ending things, and I know this really isn’t the place to talk about it but you need to know,” you admitted, taking a sip of one of the drinks. You didn’t really care if it was yours or John’s. He could deal with it.

“Sugar, I really don’t know what to say. I’ve missed you so much.” You looked up at Thomas, surprised to see him looking at you the same way he did throughout your relationship - like you were his world. “If your friends went through all this trouble, I’m guessing that won’t be as big of an issue.”

“Yeah, maybe. Do you want to… I dunno?” You honestly didn’t know where you were trying to go with that.

“Let’s get something and go back to mine. You probably haven’t eaten since your break, right?”

“Yeah. We should probably go tell them something,” you said, looking back at the group intently watching the two of you. “I kinda feel like we should mess with them.”

“Oh, definitely,” Thomas agreed. “I’ll let you take the lead on that one, Sugar.”

You nodded, picking up the two drinks you had and making your way back to the table, glaring directly at John. He probably wasn’t the mastermind behind this whole thing, but he was the one to bring you here. You placed his glass down harder than necessary, scanning everyone. “You guys definitely planned this.”

“Well, yeah. It’s not like you guys were gonna make the first move,” Alex chimed in. “By the way, I give you my blessing now.”

“Who the hell said I needed your blessing, Alexander?” You demanded. It was supposed to all be a show, but Alexander saying that really bugged you. “You guys are unbelievable.”

With that, you took the few seconds to down your drink before putting the glass down. You turned on your heel and began walking towards the door, smiling slightly at your friends’ panicked calls of your name. Sure, John was your ride here, but Thomas was going to be your ride home.

Even as they watched you leave, no one made a move to follow you. Though they’d hoped the two of you would make up, there was no keeping you here if you didn’t want to be here. Hercules looked to Thomas. “What’d you say to her?”

“Nothing really. I’m going to leave too. Feel free to have my drink,” Thomas said, putting the glasses down on the table. Though his approach was a lot more subtle than yours, he had to admire your flare for the dramatics. He exited the bar soon after, looking for you. He found you standing a few feet from the door, waiting for him. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” you said, holding your hand out for him to take. As soon as your hand was in his, you couldn’t deny the warmth it sent through you. Oh yeah, this definitely beats just getting drinks with the group.

**********

Once you got to Thomas’s apartment, you had to admit you were getting a little warm. When you took off your sweater, you heard Thomas’s sharp inhale. You turned to look at him. “What’s up?”

“Is… is that my shirt?” he asked, looking you up and down. You looked down at yourself, forgetting what you’d thrown on under your sweater.

“Oh, yeah. Do you have a problem with it? Like, not in a mean way, I’m genuinely asking.”

Thomas opened his arms, silently telling you to take your place in them. Once his arms were wrapped around you, he pressed a kiss to your lips. “Never, Sugar. You look amazing in my clothes.”

You could feel yourself getting flustered, hiding your face in your hands. “Shut up and just start the movie.”

“Not gonna shut up, but okay.” Thomas reached forward to grab the remote, jostling you slightly as he did so. As you heard the sound of the movie start up, you stopped hiding your face, resting your head against his chest. For the first time since your birthday, you felt whole again. You would thank your friends, but they deserved to sweat it for a while.

**********

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness, @laic2299

[ais-n]

How would have cedrick responded to learning about what vivienne had done to boyd by putting him up for the position at the agency, giving him a promotion, and selling him to cyclone? Would he have been angry, or thought that she was trying to protect him in her own way? How would he have reacted to seeing Boyd after the Aleixo mission, or at the end of fade after his eye was removed, at times where it was really obvious the affect physically and mentally that the lifetsyle had on boyd? Would he chose a side in the Beaulieu's feuds, or would he play both sides to try to make both of his loved ones happy? How would Boyd feel about his reaction? Would Boyd want Cedrick to be mad at Vivienne? What would Boyd want from his father if he came back to life in fade, what kind of relationship would he want?

**ICOS SPOILERS - JUST FYI :)**

I'm putting the whole reply behind a cut because I ended up rambling a bit - also I have a (shittily written and very short) excerpt from Julian Files that feels kind of relevant to this line of questioning, so that's easier to throw behind a cut too.

I'm pretty sure Ced would've been pissed at her for the Cyclone stuff. He would understand her reasons for it, and would know that in her own fucked up way she was kind of trying to help - but he also would have been pissed at her for how much Boyd was hurt in the process. He was very loving/protective of Boyd, and also pretty optimistic/hopeful in general, so he would've thought there surely could have been a safer and less traumatic way to help Boyd in the short run without fucking him up further in the long run.

(As for the rest of the things you mentioned of joining the Agency and the promotion, I don't know for sure but I think he might have understood that stuff more - because there's enough of Viv in Boyd for him to get that sometimes when they shut down emotionally, certain life changes or certain shifts in perspective help them find a reason to open up again, albeit slowly. And even if he wouldn't have wanted Boyd to be in a dangerous situation, he would have wanted Boyd to be as prepared IN that dangerous situation as possible, so at least with a promotion he learned more skills to protect himself and others. Also, Ced wanted to help others, so he would understand at least that part of the job is trying to help in some form, even though it's far from a perfect way of doing so.)

There's actually part of a scene I wrote in Julian Files that I never finished because I don't love how the preceding scenes go, and the scene in question is a direct result of them. But in the general part of that plot, Cedrick was out of town for work and Viv was supposed to be watching Boyd who was like 6 or something at the time. But Viv, being Viv, was being neglectful of him and Ced didn't know. He knew that Viv wasn't the most caring of mothers but they'd had conversations about how to make sure Boyd was safe when Ced wasn't around.

In this particular case, some shit happens with a person who kind of stalked Boyd showing up at the home when Boyd's alone, he and a buddy break in to steal shit, Boyd gets hurt in the process, Viv gets home after the fact, Boyd accidentally breaks pretty much the one thing Viv had from her parents (a horse figurine thing), and she gets pissed and yells at Boyd that she would have preferred to have lost him than to lose this thing. So Boyd runs off to Lou's and stays with him for a bit. At some point days later, Ced is finally able to get home - he tried to come home right away when he learned what happened, but he wasn't able to, so he was freaking out the entire time just beside himself worried about Boyd. He had some basic info and knew Boyd was alive and seemingly okay but was still terrified.

I kind of hate the way this is written, as well as the chapters that precede this, but this might be the only scene I can remember writing so far where it got to explore Cedrick freaking the fuck out worried about Boyd and being upset with Vivienne not protecting him. There were some previous scenes written ages ago but this is the most recent one, and probably would be closest in context to the context you're asking about.

-----------------

UNEDITED SHITTY SCENE EXCERPT:

The door slammed open, making Boyd jump and his heart race. He’d barely turned around when heavy footsteps came at him. His father nearly bowled him over, grabbing him in a tight embrace with shaking hands holding the back of his head and crossing over his shoulders.

“Boyd, Boyd, I heard—They said—Are you okay?”

Boyd could hear and feel his father’s heartbeat crashing around in his chest. He felt instantly safer with the warm and strong hands holding him tightly and, strangely, his father’s rushed and panicked words, barely gaining breath between them.

Heavy kisses rained down all over Boyd’s hair on the top of his head, and his father’s uneven breath gusted out near his temple.

“I couldn’t get back any sooner—I tried, dear God I tried because fuck I was so scared and—shit, no, don’t say those words, they’re bad words, Daddy’s just really worried and—and, Boyd, are you okay? Are you okay? You didn’t tell me yet if you’re—”

Cedrick pushed Boyd out by the shoulders, his eyes intensely focused and scouring every inch he could see of his son. He ran his hands all over Boyd, and when Boyd accidentally winced and shied away from the pain, Cedrick instantly pulled up Boyd’s shirt.

He froze at the sight of the dark bruises and cut on Boyd’s pale skin.

“Viv—Viv—Vivienne!” Cedrick shouted, panicked.

Boyd’s mother came and stood behind his father, her face expressionless and posture straight. But Boyd saw the coldness in her eyes, and tried to pull away from his dad. He couldn’t, though; his dad gripped him carefully but firmly with one hand, the other beginning to shake with the shirt in his hold.

Cedrick twisted around to face Vivienne, his voice rising louder.

“Where the hell were you? You told me you’d be home with him! You told me—”

Vivienne’s stare only became more remote. Cedrick’s hand tightened so hard on Boyd it almost hurt. He let Boyd’s shirt fall back down.

“Don’t even fucking try that look on me. You know I can read you like a fucking book. You promised me, Vivienne, and you… He could have been killed, he could have—What would we have done? What would—what would I have done?”

Vivienne didn’t answer.

“Vivienne! You need to goddamn answer me! Where were you? Why don’t you ever care—”

“She helped!”

Boyd’s outburst made Cedrick snap his attention back to his son. Boyd trembled in his father’s hold, terrified because his parents rarely argued like this and it was his fault, he knew it was his fault because he let them know about Troy. He never should have told anyone. He never should have hurt that horse and he never should have told the police the truth.

It was just like Mr. Cole said. Everything was coming true.

“What?” Boyd’s father sounded a lot less scary when he addressed Boyd. Now he was tense but gentle, just like his hand running along Boyd’s shoulder. “Boyd, it’s okay—”

“She was here,” Boyd insisted. It was a lie but he didn’t care, he made it as convincing as he’d ever done in his life. “She was here but then she had to go get something, and Troy must have been watching and then he came in when she was gone but then she came back and the police got him so it’s okay now. You don’t have to yell. You don’t have to be mad.”

He tried to ignore the way his eyes grew wet with tears, and twisted the hem of his shirt in his hands.

--------

I never finished the scene so that's all I have.

Without writing the actual scenes out you're talking about, I don't know for sure - it always seems like I think characters will do one thing and then they do another unexpectedly. But I'd generally guess it would be something along the above vibe, maybe? Except with Boyd being less timid.

Ced sort of would have been in the middle but he also wouldn't excuse certain things. He would have understood that Viv does some shit because she's fucked up, and he loves her so he understands that her choices are sometimes fucked, but that also doesn't mean he'll excuse it and tell Boyd he has no reason to be upset about things he has every right to be upset about. He probably would have ended up being a little bit of a mediator, but less so in the way of trying to smooth things over and making everyone happy, and probably more so in the way of trying to make sure every side felt heard, but more importantly that they understood if they did shitty actions that they were shitty (in this case, that would be directed toward Vivienne), and that they figure out a way for these things not to happen again, while being realistic about knowing how everyone is.

As for what Boyd would have wanted, he probably wouldn't have wanted Ced to hate Viv - he would have just wanted everything to be figured out in a way where no one had to be hurt, and they could just get along, and he would feel valued. He would have loved to just have any sort of relationship with his dad, but Ced being Ced, the relationship would have been a largely happy/supportive one, with Ced being a doofy loving dad - but also someone who will always stand firm if he thinks Boyd, Vivienne, he himself, anyone, is doing something wrong or etc and needs to be called out on it.

If Ced were there in Fade, I think more than anything, Boyd would have just wanted to be able to go up to him, hug him, and be able to cry in his arms, and feel like it was okay and he wasn't being weak for wanting to break down. He would have just wanted to hear his dad say that Boyd was doing ok, that he was trying hard and that was important, and that he had value as a person and that Ced didn't judge him or hate him or wasn't disappointed in him because of anything Boyd had said or done or etc in his life since Ced left. All of which is what Ced would have wanted to do/say too. Well, and then Ced would have for sure wanted to say how proud he was of Boyd, which I don't know if Boyd would have thought to hope to hear in Fade but idk, maybe he would have hoped for that too.

They probably would've just had fun hanging around at times doing whatever. I could see the two having fun digging into different topics or theories or mysteries or whatnot to figure them out.

Also, Ced would have liked Hsin, and would have accepted him as a son in law, just FYI. He already met Hsin when Hsin was like 14 and tried to help him then, so if it later turned out those two got together, he would've understood. Honestly, Boyd/Hsin have a lot of Ced/Viv vibes in some ways, and Ced would've been able to see that, so he would totally get why Boyd and Hsin love each other so much. Except Boyd/Hsin were more volatile because they eventually actually talked their shit out more than Ced/Viv properly did, or really honestly got a chance to do - so in many ways, Boyd/Hsin's volatility was in part because they were ultimately able to be more brutally honest with themselves and each other.

Hopefully that all makes sense.

[because-of-a-friend]

Boyfriend!Seungkwan Fluff

Thanks for the request anon! I hope you like this one! Remember everyone, this is a series that I only do by request, so if I’m missing one that you want, go ahead and request it! DK was requested, so his will be out next! Someone also requested Jeonghan just now, so that one will be out right after!

MASTERLIST

Seungcheol | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino

You’re hopelessly in love with Seungkwan

Like completely and fully

And it’s pretty obvious

I mean you make it obvious

Because you kind of want to give him some sort of signal

To gauge where he’s at so you know if you should back off or not

There’s one problem

Seungkwan is the dumbest boy in school 

(Said affectionately)

He genuinely just doesn’t realize

So completely oblivious

The other boys have a laugh watching the two of you do this dance around each other for years

And even when they’re straight up like 

“Dude, [Y/N]’s in love with you”

He’s just like 

“No, they’re just super nice to me!”

Cue Vernon hitting his head on a nearby wall out of distress

And sometimes they’ll go to you and be like 

“Just tell him you’re in love with him”

And you’re like 

“What??? Me in love with Seungkwan??? Hahahahaha, that’s hilarious!!! Where’d you get an idea like that???”

Cue Mingyu joining Vernon at the wall

You want to tell Seungkwan

You really do 

But you keep making excuses

“He’s so busy”

“Now’s not a good time”

“He shouldn’t have to worry about this right now”

“He probably doesn’t feel the same way”

So then it ends up being years that you don’t tell him how you feel

Then one day Vernon sits you down

And gets real serious about it

“Hey, I know it feels safe right now, and it seems like there’s no reason to do anything. But you know this won’t last forever right? If you want something to happen, then you have to say something. Eventually, it’s going to be too late”

And you nod solemnly along with his words

“I know, but-”

“No ‘buts’ this time, [Y/N], I don’t want to see all the potential between you and Seungkwan go to waste”

You nod silently this time

So you finally decide to do something

Their comeback was successful 

He’s super happy 

So it’s perfect timing 

You invite him to go get dinner 

You plan a whole evening and make it really nice

You make reservations at his favorite restaurant

You lowkey make index cards with what you’re planning on saying written on them

You’re waiting outside the restaurant in your nicest outfit

And Seungkwan walks up!!!!

...With Vernon and Mingyu

They both mouth apologies as they walk up 

“Hey, I hope it’s cool that I invited them along!”

“Yeah of course, the more the merrier!”

Dinner goes fine

You’re a little bit disappointed that your plans got derailed but that’s no reason to make Mingyu and Vernon suffer through an uncomfortable dinner so you try to brighten up and hang out with them as normal

Vernon notices that you have some sort of package with you

He keeps kicking you under the table to get your attention

You finally look over at him

He mouths “Give it to him”

And you’re just like “No? Why would I right now?”

And soon you two are just having this silent argument 

Then you pause 

And look over across the table

Where Mingyu and Seungkwan are staring at you like ???

“Oh sorry, we were just debating over what to get for dessert” you lie quickly

While you’re distracted, Vernon knocks the package out of your hand

“Oh hey [Y/N], you dropped this!”

If looks could kill

“Oh it looks like it’s for Seungkwan!”

Now Mingyu is playing along

“Guys, leave [Y/N] alone” Seungkwan pouts

You take a deep breath

“No, he’s right, it’s for you. It’s sort of a congratulations for the successful comeback”

Seungkwan turns bright red

“Oh... you didn’t have to”

“I wanted to! I’m really proud of you... Of all of you, I mean”

You’re dreading watching him open it in front of Vernon and Mingyu

He seems to sense that and is like 

“I’ll open it after dinner”

So you’re hoping it’s forgotten about

But after dinner, when you’re all standing outside the restaurant 

Mingyu and Vernon start bothering him to open it again

So he does

“It’s that bracelet you wanted” you say shyly

Seungkwan is just staring at it silently and slightly shocked at such a nice gift

Mingyu and Vernon are sitting there like “Woah this is super nice, [Y/N] buy one for me too”

“Whoever’s gonna marry you is so lucky”

Everyone goes silent at Seungkwan’s words

All you can manage is “huh?”

“I just mean you take care of all of us so well, whoever you marry someday is so lucky”

You freeze 

Mingyu freezes

Vernon freezes

Seungkwan smiles happily at his gift before looking up and frowning confusedly at all of your faces

“I just remembered I have tons of work to do at home, I’ll catch up with you guys later”

And then you take off

Seungkwan turns to Vernon and Mingyu and is like “What’s their problem”

They just stare back at him like 

☉▵☉

And Mingyu just shakes his head 

“Kwannie I knew you were oblivious but this...”

And then he and Vernon walk off while Seungkwan follows after them asking what everyone’s problem is

Vernon calls you later and he’s like “[Y/N] he didn’t realize”

“Yes he did Vernon, he probably knew where it was going and wanted to end it before I could say anything to save me from the embarrassment” 

“[Y/N]-”

“I don’t want to hear about it anymore Vernon, it’s over” 

After that you’re miserable

You spend a few days letting yourself be really sad, laying around in bed

You stop hanging out with the boys, and only contact them every once in awhile

Seungkwan is distressed™

He’s like “Has anyone heard from [Y/N]?”

They’re all sitting around after practice one day

“No Seungkwan”

“Has anyone tried reaching out to them?”

“No Seungkwan”

“Why not???”

“We figured we should give them space”

“Why?”

Mingyu suddenly sits up

He scrambles over to Seungkwan and is like 

“Listen to me, I’m only going to tell you this one more time. After this, I’m officially giving up on you and calling this situation hopeless, so you had better take what I’m saying seriously and actually do something about it this time”

He starts shaking Seungkwan’s shoulders with every word

“[Y/N]. IS. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU.”

Seungkwan sits there for a second

“Are you serio-”

“OH MY GOD, GO!”

Seungkwan jumps up and looks at Coups

“Is it ok if I leave, I mean-”

“Did you not hear Mingyu? GO!”

Seungkwan sprints to your place

When he shows up at your door

You’re a sad, sleepy mess

And he’s a dazed, sweaty mess

“Seungkwan? What are you doing here?”

“Are you in love with me?”

You pause and look up at him with wide eyes

Then you look down and sigh angrily

“Vernon...”

“Actually it was Mingyu”

You pout

“He’s too tall for me to hit”

“Hey don’t get mad at Mingyu for what he did, besides we’re getting off topic. [Y/N], are you in love with me or not?”

“Is it going to change things between us if I say that I am?”

“Of course it will”

You both stare at each other for a moment

You decide to take a leap of faith

“Yes, Seungkwan, I’m in love with you”

He steps forward instantly and pulls you towards him using a hand on the back of your neck and crashes his lips against yours

You two spend the rest of the day laughing about how long it took you to confess to each other

“I just genuinely didn’t think you’d be interested in me” “Seungkwan that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard”

“But remember that one time in front of the water fountain?” “You were trying to tell me then???” “Yes!” “You’re ridiculous”

“One time I literally tackled Mingyu to the ground to stop him from telling you” “Well it didn’t stop him from telling me today”

So your relationship becomes a chance for you two to catch up on lost time

“We really could’ve been dating this whole time, huh?”

He says one night when you’re cuddling on the couch, his arm around you, he’s pressing kisses onto your temple

“Don’t say that in such an accusatory tone, you also took forever to confess to me”

He giggles at your sass and nuzzles his face into your neck

Seungkwan wants to do all the cliche things while dating 

Picnic dates, cheesy Valentine’s Day gifts, rose petal decorations on anniversaries 

He loves to spoil you

But he also loves to be spoiled

Like absolutely loves it

Anytime you get him a gift, he fawns over it for a week straight

When you send him sweet texts, he’ll squeal about it and show everyone nearby

He acts like he hates it, but he loves when you just sit across from him and shower him with compliments

His face will turn bright red, and he’ll try to hide his expression by pushing his head under your chin, but he really does love it

When you’re dating Seungkwan, you’ll see a side of him no one else does

He’ll be very vulnerable with you

You spend many evenings holding Seungkwan in your arms as he lays his head on your chest and vents out all his problems

Literally lives for the feeling of you running your fingers through his hair

Tries out new joke material on you

But he makes you laugh whether his jokes are bad or not so it’s not actually an accurate test

You two have really cutesy shows of affection

Brushing each other’s hair out of the way, wiping food off each other’s faces, linking arms, ruffling each other’s hair

There’s an element to your relationship that’s very innocent because your love for each other is so pure

And you always want what’s best for each other and you’ll do anything to support each other through everything

The rest of the boys are suffering bc it’s always you and Seungkwan against everyone and together you’re an unstoppable chaotic force

And Seungkwan makes sure that your relationship with the other boys doesn’t change just bc y’all are dating now

He doesn’t want you to think he’ll get jealous or like he’ll change anything

But that means he still has to mediate arguments between you and Mingyu

“Y’know [Y/N], you can’t really be angry with Mingyu, he’s the reason we finally started dating”

“Who’s side are you on Kwannie???”

It also means the other boys still get to tease you two about your relationship 

But it doesn’t matter bc the two of you are just blissfully in love

Nothing can put a damper on that

[ladyeliot]

Prologue [T.S. / J.H.]

Series:  “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”

Pairing: Tony Stark/Justin Hammer x Fem!Reader

Summary:  Seaville, Maine, 1991. The sudden death of Tony Stark’s parents forces him to return to the town he left behind when he went to study at MIT (Boston). With his arrival, all the memories he thought he had erased come back to him. The events of his last year of high school and that summer of 1988 appear to him as if they were ghosts from the past, forcing him to confront them and causing him to rethink his life.

Warnings: Death of parents. Funeral. Drunkenness. 

Word Count: 5574

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Christmas 1991 (4th year at MIT)

Who would have thought that after leaving that small coastal town in the state of Maine and having promised himself never to set foot in that place again, he would have to return. On that December 17, 1991, the press and every other media outlet reported a devastating news story that had happened the night before, "Howard and Maria Stark die in a car accident on Seaville". The impact of the news was far and wide, the country woke up the next morning to a headline that generated controversy about how it had happened and who would take over Howard Stark's position at his company's New York headquarters.

But none of that was relevant to Tony Stark's mind, who barely uttered a word when Edwin Jarvis crashed the MIT Christmas party with a phone call to inform him of the event. Maybe it was the amount of alcohol in his blood, or the fact that he could barely hear his own thoughts under the infernal noise of techno music, but it took him a few minutes to react. Just a few hours ago a long discussion with his father over the phone had managed to infuriate him, the fact that he again decided to spend the holidays away from his family and did not choose to return to Seaville he knew that his father cared little, but any excuse was good to lash out at him, or at least Tony thought so.

The first thing that came to his mind as he reacted were the last words addressed to each of them, a clearly sarcastic discussion with his father and a feigned indifference towards his mother because of his anger, who was trying to calm the situation between the two of them. That was the last thing the three of them experienced and it would mark Tony Stark's life forever.

The Stark family owned a multinational technology company that spread its power throughout the country, and Howard Stark had been in charge of it, as he was the one who ran it from its beginnings until his death. Few were the memories of Tony's childhood in which his father was present, he was always travelling and when they met again during the holidays they barely spoke to each other, because whenever they did, a fight between them would come to light. That was how Tony had written off their relationship. But things were different with his mother, who always tried to mediate between them and cared about him. It was she who interceded when Howard wanted to send Tony to boarding school abroad, or when she wanted him to change his residence to New York.

As he remembered all those things, a pang of guilt came over young Tony Stark, but Jarvis's words from the other end of the phone line brought him back to his senses.

"The funeral will be held first thing tomorrow morning, sir. You don't have to worry about anything, it's all set," Tony who stood leaning against a door frame in the fraternity house nodded impassively. "A car will pick you up in two hours so you can get there on time, sir?"

"Thank you Jarvis," he said deadpan just before he hung up the phone again and faced one of the hardest nights.

The apathy that can produce tragic situations in people can be somewhat frivolous, especially if you are one of those people who find it difficult to express your feelings.  The drive from Boston to Seaville took about four hours, some roads were impassable due to the snowfall that had occurred during that winter period. The numerous phone calls he had received along the way, most of them about the future of the family business, added to his apathy. No one understood how he felt, let alone anyone else, and he was alone in the world with Jarvis.

He took in the closeness of the place as he gazed out to sea. Seaville was known for its beautiful sunsets overlooking Maine Bay, the town had a population of just eight thousand, but it maintained an unblemished reputation as a community of artists and sailors, a fact that added to the economic status of the region. Maria Stark, formerly Collins, was born there, and it was her affection for her roots that led her to settle there again when she became pregnant with Tony's child. For a time Tony also shared her love of Seaville, but there were too many negative memories buried in the streets for him to return of his own free will.

When Tony saw the sign indicating the start of the Seaville settlement for the first time in four years, the knot that had been sitting in his stomach for hours increased its pressure, preventing him from barely breathing. He opted to keep his gaze fixed on a set of documentation about the company that Obadiah Stane had sent him before his departure from Boston, and tried to concentrate his thoughts on external things.

"Sir, we're here," the gentleness in Jarvis' voice reassured Tony after pulling him out of his thoughts.

The words spoken by the young adult had been sparse, barely possessing more than one syllable. As he stepped out of the car he recognised the place, and it was just then that it crossed his mind that he wished anything could have stood in his way, just so he would not have come to this place.

The funeral had been arranged in the Seaville cemetery, a place on the top of a small hill surrounded by a wide grassy esplanade with birch trees. Jarvis stood by his side, waiting for him to take his first step to join him, but Tony's limbs seemed to be locked at that very moment.

"Your mother always spoke of the peace of this place," he commented, urging Tony to walk. "She would have wanted something intimate."

The funeral had been arranged as quickly as possible to avoid the crowds and to keep the wishes his mother would have wanted. The last thing he expected was for them to turn his parents' funeral into a public event and for any news channel or media outlet, national or international, to broadcast it like it was a bloody movie.

"That's right."

After Tony took the first step, the next two hours went quicker than he would have thought, Jarvis was right in his words, there was peace in the place and Tony found that out. It was fortunate for him that they arrived when most people were already there, it meant that for the moment he didn't have to hear any comments lamenting the event from anyone present. So he just hid his gaze under a pair of sunglasses, avoiding eye contact with any grieving faces. He recognised many of those present, from employees of local businesses to some Stark Industries officials who had managed to arrive in time after hearing the news. Still, while he wanted to avoid bumping into anyone, he was hopeful of the presence of several people, who were probably not going to be there for external reasons. Either because they did not yet know the news or were not in town at the time.

With the reverend's last words the coffins of his parents were lowered and buried several feet underground. Tony was unable to take on the role of offering a few words, he simply stood there quietly and received the condolences of several of those present. As they passed by one by one, Tony merely offered them a simple nod with his face, barely looking up. It was minutes later when Jarvis put his hand on his shoulder, awaiting their departure for the car, but Tony needed a moment.

"You can go to reception, Jarvis, I'll stay a bit longer," he informed her. "By the way, if you see that I haven't arrived before I'm done, don't worry, just go home."

"I don't know if..."

"Please, Jarvis," she said without looking at him.

"All right, sir."

The funeral reception at the home of his youth would only foster an increase in his feelings of guilt, he would not be able to walk through that door and lock himself within those four walls, find out if everything was as he left it or if there had been any changes in the four years since he left for MIT, so he decided to let time pass.

He reached a point where the sun was setting, his mind hadn't noticed the passage of time but he sat in that chair for three hours. He was so lost in thought that he barely noticed a presence behind him until the person approached the graves and dropped a small bunch of daisies on the freshly scattered sand, a fact that made Tony wipe away his tears quickly.

Tony stood up while being grateful for the change in his body's posture, his watery eyes didn't allow him to recognise the figure at first, but after blinking a couple of times he realised that his brain wasn't playing tricks on him. It was you. You didn't hesitate to approach him and put your arms around his shoulders, causing Tony's body to become paralysed. His wits had been switched off for hours, as had his mind, but that moment brought his senses back to life. Your scent, your warmth, your body contact, your eyes, and hearing your breath so close again turned his broken heart.

"I..." began Tony in a whisper.

"Don't say anything," you cut him off without breaking the embrace.

After a minute you opted to pull away, seeking eye contact with him, which was prevented by Tony's sunglasses, so without giving up you reached up to them and slowly took them off, noticing that under them those hazel eyes were still present, slightly reddened.

"There you are," you said with a wistful smile.

Tony hated himself for not being able to cope properly with the moment that was unfolding before him. But he accepted that you of all people knew his limitations when it came to expressing feelings, whether they were positive or negative. It was true, you knew, so having enjoyed seeing that under that suit and his new appearance he was still the same Tony Stark you knew, you put his glasses back in place.

"I guess you'll be wishing you were alone," you said, lowering your gaze. "You know where to find me if you need me."

You offered him one last smile, which almost took Tony's breath away and, just as you had reached him, you turned around to continue on your way.

Unlike the funeral, the news seemed to have already been published in most of the sensationalist media in the country, so the funeral reception at the Stark house welcomed more than two hundred people who wanted to give their condolences, but those condolences never reached Tony, as he hardly appeared there. It wasn't until after half past ten at night, with the moon showing its clear figure in the sky, that he came face to face with his past.

Jarvis had taken it upon himself to collect every bit of food and flowers that the guests had brought with them, a gesture that Tony was grateful for, for now he only had to face his past memories and not the present situation. As he entered the hall and walked into the living room he realised that it was a vivid image of his childhood, the mantelpiece displayed before him filled with Christmas decorations, a large tree full of ornaments, most of them homemade, made by his mother, garlands draped around the mantelpiece and Christmas boots. That was a shock. After clicking her tongue, she opted to walk away in the direction of the kitchen, the knot in her stomach having mingled with roars informing her that she'd better eat something if she didn't want to pass out. Jarvis had been considerate enough to save some leftovers from the reception, so he grabbed the plate of larded meat and headed off to face the floor above. The night was going to be a long one.

After climbing the wide marble stairs he discovered a closed door at the end of the corridor, with a sign reading "Genius at work", those three words provided perhaps the first smile in hours. He walked towards it with a series of doubts in his gut, but eager to know what he would find behind it. He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it, the first thing his senses picked up was a deep musty smell, the gloom was still there, but soft rays from the moon coming through the window made him resemble each of the furniture and objects there.

Before him time had not passed, his large room filled with gadgets on every shelf and desk remained just as he had left it before he left for MIT in the summer of 1988. He placed the plate on the bedside table and slipped his hands into his pockets, walking around the room. His outward calmness was extreme, though inside he seemed to be distressed and nostalgic. A crunching sound under the soles of his shoes made him realise that several screws and pieces of metal were lying on the carpet. Everything was as messy as he left it, even that robot he had made for his last academic year in high school was in pieces on the desk.

"Idiot," she said, glaring at him.

It was at that very moment that it dawned on him how exhaustion, both mental and physical, was consuming them. Tony flopped face down on his bed with his eyes closed, letting the fragrance of his sheets envelop his senses. Every aspect of his surroundings seemed to take him back to his high school years, so he struggled to keep it from happening, opening his eyes again and recomposing himself on the mattress. He slowly surveyed every nook and cranny of his bedroom again, until he let his gaze linger on a wooden box next to a trophy from the state's Artificial Intelligence contest.

"Shit..." he muttered to himself.

He knew its contents, he knew that it was perhaps the most dangerous thing to be found in those four walls, he knew that it was possibly the thing that was going to destabilise him emotionally, but he had to get his hands on it again and open it. So he jumped towards that shelf and took the box in his hands, opening the lid and making all the contents scattered on his bed.

Dozens of photographs practically flew out of the box and landed on the bedspread, each one showing a unique moment in Tony's life, the curious thing is that in the vast majority of them you were present, and when you weren't, it was you who had taken them. On the white borders were written different words, in your handwriting, leaving a record of when and where they were taken. "Steve's seventeenth birthday", "First game of the 1987 season", "Christmas 1985", "First day of high school Steve, Murph, Nat and Tony" "Graduation day", "Murph trying to fish with Nat", "Murph's eighteenth birthday", "Beach party", "Murph driving to Portland", "Murph roasting clouds", "Murph..."

A clattering noise pulled Tony out of the halo of longing he had become, that damn automatic mobile phone that was impossible to break away from as it was the only thing that connected him to his future, Stark Industries, began to ring. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but fleetingly disappeared as he wiped them away with the sleeve of his jacket before picking up the phone.

"Hello?" he asked with his eyes closed and his head down.

One of the company's senior managers was behind the phone line from New York, the discussion became heated, they were demanding his presence at the company's New York headquarters as soon as possible. He had been receiving those calls ever since the tragic accident had reached the shareholders' ears, the curious thing is that none of them were to inquire about his state of mind or even his state of mind, so that was how it pushed him over the edge, showing the hidden feelings he had inside.

"My parents are fucking dead and that's all you care about?" he shouted into the phone. "Can't you stop thinking about your own interests for once in your life?"

The device landed against the headboard of his bed, the funny thing is that even so the voice of the major shareholder was still making its presence felt, to which Tony completely beside himself left the room and closed the door generating a deafening echo throughout the house. He knew he was not going to be quiet until he did what these people wanted, his freedom was gone, too many things were gone. From that moment on, he had become one of the most powerful men in the country overnight, and in the same way he had acquired numerous responsibilities that he was not yet ready to assume.

As he dropped in the middle of the stairs, hiding his face with his hands, a strong headache came over him, an accumulation of sensations and feelings prevented him from reacting to calm down, it was then that after a few minutes he went downstairs quickly, heading towards his father's cupboard in the office. During his youth he had approached that cupboard too many times, usually full of alcoholic beverages, but when he went to open it, he was shocked to find it completely empty. He hoped that the location of those bottles had changed to somewhere else, so Tony opted to quickly rummage through any place he could think of where there might be a bottle, but his search was in vain.

"Shit!" he slapped his hand on the kitchen counter. "Shit, shit, shit!"

Almost unconsciously he headed back to his father's office and opened the top desk drawer, where he found a box with a combination, oddly enough the one from his birthday, inside was a collection of keys, he pulled out the one to his red porsche.

He knew and acknowledged that the state of nerves he was in was not the best to get behind the wheel, but he was really desperate, and there was no one to slow him down at that moment. He drove to the first place that came to his mind, as there were not really too many choices in that coastal town that could be found open at that time of night. On the side of Maine Bay, near Seaville harbour, was the Captain Lou's, a perfect place to go for a fresh fish dinner or after-dinner drinks.

He was driving at such high speeds that it took him barely five minutes to pull into the car park, braking so aggressively that he left wheel marks on the road. He got out of the car still wearing his funeral clothes, with his hair completely dishevelled and hiding his eyes under his sunglasses. The place was a fisherman's house situated on an old pier, there was a small porch before entering where a small bell rang as Tony opened the door, he instantly recognised old Lou behind the bar, who was still holding his place as usual. He looked around, taking off his sunglasses for the first time, leaving his brown eyes completely swollen and reddened, which would make an impression on anyone who saw him, but Tony didn't really care at the moment. Still, he was grateful that the place wasn't too rowdy, just two small groups of adults and a couple at a far table. The bar was completely empty, so he took a seat at it, when Lou approached he was a bit perplexed by his presence, but he chose to take it as a matter of course.

"Sorry about your parents Tony," he said wiping the bar right in front of him.

"Give me two of the strongest you've got," he said ignoring her comment.

Just as Lou had poured him two glasses of whiskey, Tony digested them seconds later, informing him to refill them. Tony knew what he wanted, a night to forget, perhaps in the worst place to forget, as it was all memories. While he waited for a refill, as Lou was hesitating, Tony turned his gaze to the far table where the couple were having a drink, since he had entered there was something strange on that table, he thought he had seen someone familiar, he squinted his eyes hoping to sharpen his sense of sight, which was quite impaired at the moment, but it dawned on him. It was you, again, with an unknown boy whose face he couldn't see, as his back was to Tony. Without taking his eyes off you, he quickly gulped down the two glasses of whiskey Lou had poured for him.

"Put the bottle down," he said without paying attention to Lou.

The minutes passed, he was hesitant, irritated, distressed and completely broken inside by the accumulation of situations he had experienced in less than a day, and now he found you there, listening to your laughter, with an unknown guy. It was really the last thing he needed to end the day. The alcoholic solution was slowly affecting his senses, he had barely eaten all day, his only intake had just been four glasses of whiskey and that increased his feeling of drunkenness, along with all his negative emotions. As if something inside him was guiding him to you, Tony picked up the bottle of whiskey, which Lou had definitely been forced to leave on the bar, and staggered up from the stool. His jaw completely rigid, he walked as if an external force was pushing him from side to side, until he reached your table. You could hardly believe your eyes, the same thing happened to Tony, he could hardly believe you were there, next to him, and what hurt him the most was that you hadn't stopped laughing since he practically walked in. That generated the rage that joined with his sarcasm coming out.

"Tony..." you whispered, causing your companion to look up at him.

"Wow! But who do we have here?" a hysterical laugh came from within you. "The prodigious Justin Hammer. Wow... I didn't see you at my parents' funeral, how strange, with how fond you were of my father... I thought I'd see you around."

Yes, your escort that night was Justin Hammer, the cherry on top to make him remember Tony.

"Ah, no, that all that love was just because you wanted to get a good position at Stark Industries," Tony dropped his hand on Justin's shoulder and approached him. "Bingo! Now I'm the CEO, are you going to lick my ass like my father too?" the Stark sarcasm was again booming.

Your gaze flicked between Tony and Justin, who kept a straight face, keeping his composure in the situation. Tony took a small swig from the bottle he held firmly in his right hand, he could barely see your faces as his mind was affected in multiple ways.

"Oh, sorry for the interruption by the way," a burp came from inside him. "Was that a date? Are you two dating?" Tony arched an eyebrow pointing at you respectively. "Oh man, I see you didn't get a position at my company, but you hit the jackpot," he began to laugh. "Hey! I'm glad, you two make a cute couple. Yeah! I mean it, you're perfect for each other."

Tony's bitter words came out under your serious and sorrowful gaze. "Mind you, I have to warn you that in bed..." he began, but you instantly got up from your chair and grabbed his shoulders.

"Alright Tony, I think you've had enough to drink for tonight," you gripped the bottle tightly, in a failed attempt to take it from him.

Tony's impediment to having the bottle taken from him caused him to stumble into the table behind him, causing him to lose his balance, to which Justin Hammer quickly got up to try and hold him down.

"Don't even think about touching me," Tony said in a somewhat aggressive tone with a scowl.

"Tony..." you pleaded holding him by the arm.

The plea that came from between your lips made him react before the situation reached a point where there was no turning back. Hearing his name and seeing your gaze, he felt as if a dagger was stabbing into his heart, another one.

"Yep... I'd better go. Show's over here for today," Tony said, putting on his jacket properly and stumbling towards the bar, leaving two hundred dollar notes behind. "Keep the change, Lou, I'll take the bottle."

Just as he had walked in, well, with a drunken state in his body, he walked out. The door closed behind him, to which Tony then made a difficult attempt to descend the stairs without holding onto the railing at the same time as he pulled the keys to the Porsche out of his back pocket. The five metres to the car seemed like an eternity trying to maintain a dignified posture as he fought against the spinning of his head, but it was just as he was about to open the driver's door that a presence pulled him back.

"I'm not going to let you take the car in this state," Tony smiled broadly with arrogance as he sensed your presence behind him. "I don't want to go to another funeral tomorrow."

"I think your date would love to attend."

His mood was completely bipolar, a minute ago he might have been able to throw Hammer out the window, right now his arrogance was winning the day. Reluctantly you snatched the keys from his hands, heading for the passenger door while holding Tony by the arm.

"Just like that? Honey, I knew how much you loved my car and how much fun we had, but..." a half smile, his half smile that drove you so crazy, both in the positive and negative sense came across Tony's face.

"Shut the fuck up, get in the car and let me take you home so I can sleep soundly tonight," your voice sounded stiff and angry.

"Why don't you stay?" whispered Tony in a poor attempt to show seduction, as his voice sounded drunk and gave off a strong smell of alcohol. "Although I can't promise it's going to be a quiet night."

Your mood wasn't prepared to put up with Tony's nonsense, let alone in his state, so you pushed his head towards the inside of the car. From there, Tony could watch as you said goodbye to Justin, to whom you handed the bottle of Whiskey he had admirably taken from Tony without him even noticing, and then climbed in beside him.

"Tell me the truth, you and Justin Hammer?" the laughter of Tony flooded the place as you started the car. "How quickly you forget the hard knocks of the past."

"You have no idea..." you whispered wryly to yourself.

"Honey, I think you can do better than that," the arrogance was in his voice, which reminded you of times gone by.

You listened to his comments in silence, keeping your eyes on the road, avoiding getting into a stupid argument with someone who was drunk and barely able to cope with the many feelings he had.

"I recognise that look, you're angry," he continued, breaking the silence. "I know, I get it, I've ruined your date tonight. Although I must admit it didn't look very stimulating from the outside, but I'm not one to judge."

"Exactly," you mused.

"I was quite surprised though, I thought that by now you and Steve... well you know, that you would be together, after everything that happened..." those words from Tony caused your right foot to stop dead in its tracks at that instant.

"After what happened?!" the disbelief was in your eyes. "Alright... Look Tony, you're nobody to show up here after three and a half years of showing no signs of life and barge into other people's lives to judge them. So shut your mouth and let me take you home quietly."

Those words of Tony's had struck a chord within you, your eyes became watery.

"You know I didn't come back because I wanted to," Tony said seriously. "But don't worry, I'll disappear from here tomorrow."

"Great. It's what you do best."

Instantly you regretted what you had said. The ride to the Stark residence continued in silence, neither of us taking it upon ourselves to break it. Tony kept his head leaning against the window, eyes closed, head lolling slightly against the glass, but strangely he had found comfort in the position. As you walked into the garden you got out of the car without so much as a glance at her, slamming the door which was what seemed to wake him up and let him know you had reached your destination.

"You know where the phone is," Tony reported, opening the car door and clumsily getting out.

It seemed like hours before he reached the front door, found the keys, managed to choose the right key, inserted it into the lock and opened it. In the kitchen the phone was waiting for you, you were lucky that there was a phone book and it didn't take you long to find the number of the taxi service.  In the meantime Tony dropped his body on the sofa.

"The taxi won't be long, I'd better wait for it at the entrance," you approached him.

"Great," Tony said impassively.

The room was spinning around inside Tony's head, he kept his eyes open and staring at the ceiling, it was funny, he thought, he used to get drunk regularly at college parties, but this seemed to have affected him as if he had never tasted alcohol before.

"You know," Tony said without looking at you. "There was always the idea in the back of my mind that things could have been otherwise, if it hadn't been for..."

"Don't finish the sentence. Or you know you'll regret saying it tomorrow," you stopped your steps, as you were already heading to leave, and turned around to look at him. "Look, I don't know what you want Tony. I don't know what you want me to say, and I don't know what you're looking for by stirring up the past with your words. I understand it's been a hard day, maybe the hardest day, and I can't come to grips with what you might be going through," you knelt down beside him. "If you need my help, I've told you before, you know where I am, but please let's not make this night any more complicated," your words were soft, so soft that Tony turned his gaze to you.

There you were again, on that couch, Tony lying down, you kneeling next to him, looking at each other, neither of you would have ever thought that scene could ever happen. Your words were tender, you felt vulnerable in front of him at that moment, and all he really needed was someone to show him affection, even though he didn't know it.

"The last thing I want right now is to argue with you," you whispered, ducking your face. "I'm sorry for yelling at you in the car earlier, and I'm sorry for what I said. I don't want my last memory of you to be like that."

It had been years since the two of you had been within such close distance of each other. Tony found that despite the haircut, your appearance had hardly changed. That mole under his left eye was still there, and the rosy cheeks you'd gotten from the cold still gave him a glimpse of the field of freckles that covered them. The small scar on your chin, which you got when you fell off your bike because he had thrown the football in your direction, was also there. A shudder came over you, causing you to quickly get up from that position and regain your composure, as a hundred memories seemed to come flooding back. Tony made an attempt to sit up, but at that moment the horn of a car saved the situation.

"Oh!" you looked at Tony and pointed to the front door. "I'd better go, I.... Goodnight Tony."

"Goodnight..." mused Tony watching you leave.

Silence took over the house again after the front door closed following your departure. Tony stood there, staring at the emptiness you had left for the second time in him, thinking of a title for your whole story.

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[calpops]

falling facade | c.h.

part seven: falling forces

part one: falling flowers | part two: falling freedom | part three: falling fears | part four: falling failures | part five: falling fame | part six: falling feelings

5k words

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).

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Radio silence ensued between Calum and Arden for days after their parents left. Days of quiet left Calum’s admission floating in tense air and burning the back of his throat; the words taunting him among lonely days. She didn’t respond to his texts and she didn’t answer his calls, Michael wasn’t a mediator he wanted to use as the truth he offered her was one he didn’t want Michael to know. So he stopped texting and calling, decided to wait and try to play it cool though contractual commitments and management looming over him created more anxiety. Arden couldn’t opt out of paparazzi walks, they had to make posts and keep playing the game. After nearly a week Calum decided to head over to Michael’s and face her in person only to be met with confusion.

“She’s packing,” Michael informed as soon as Calum showed up; he didn’t even need to say a word for Michael to know he was in search of her.

“She’s leaving?” He asked and couldn’t keep the panic from his voice.

Michael was quick to catch it and though he may not have understood why he was so worked up he moved aside from the door and invited him in. He told him Arden ought to be the one to explain and sent him down the hall to one of many guest bedrooms. The door was closed but Calum heard footsteps moving about and rapped his knuckles lightly against the wood. A pause in motion ensued and Calum knew she was contemplating either opening the door or calling out to come in or go away. He hadn’t told her he was stopping by and he assumed her usual response to Michael would be something of the sort. Steps approached and the door swung open, Arden standing shocked and uncertain before Calum.

A suitcase laid on the bed with stacks of clothes inside, proving Michael’s statement to be correct. Calum knew Michael wouldn’t lie about that but the evidence was jolting and hard to swallow. Arden held a shoe in her hand and grasped the doorknob with the other, knees knocking into each other as her legs began to wiggle amidst the uncomfortable silence they were standing in.

“What are you doing here?” She asked after a stretch of silence. Her eyes flickered up and down Calum in her curiosity.

“You’re leaving?” He answered with a question and a sinking stomach. “You know we have a paparazzi walk scheduled for tomorrow.”

The burn in the back of Calum’s throat was flickering to life, words said and unsaid dancing on the tip of his tongue. Instead of telling her he wanted her to stay he reminded her she was obligated to. Instead of reminding her of what was and what could be real he reminded her of what was constructed and fake. He resented the words as soon as they rolled off his tongue and wished he could go back; say the right thing and be honest.

“I’ll be there,” she said and turned back to the bed and suitcase to drop the shoe haphazardly within. Calum followed her into the room, the days of silence and her curt answer doing very little to explain what was happening between them. His own foolish words didn’t help the matter either. “At noon, right?”

Calum nodded. “Arden, is everything okay?”

Calum really wanted to know if everything was okay between them but the words were caught in a fiery embrace and couldn’t escape. She turned back to look at him, hand blindly finding the edge of the suitcase to grip. She nodded this time but the nod slowly faded and pursed lips and downcast eyes replaced it.

“It’s fine. I just need to get out of this house,” she admitted and shook her head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just need to get out of Michael’s hair. Stand on my own two feet. I got a job. Found a little place. It’s not much but it’s liveable seeing how I’ll be here a while.”

Words of being in Michael’s shadow and not having life figured out, not having a passion or pride floated through Calum’s mind. Suddenly her silence made sense.

“You could’ve told me,” Calum said and reached a hand out, almost certain she’d flinch or reject the gesture, but in her ever consistent way of surprise she leaned into the touch and nodded again.

“I know,” she began and shrugged. “But I wanted to do it on my own. I had to do it on my own. For myself.”

In a way Calum understood the sentiment of her words but couldn’t quite grasp why she couldn’t even pick up a call or return a text. A spiral of doubt and intrusive thoughts tumbled through and had his hand dropping from her arm, the loss of contact cool on his fingers tips and tightening his throat. Arden shifted and sighed, disappointment seemingly hanging over her head and escaping in her every motion. Calum shook himself, pushed his selfishness away and realized the situation for what it really was. Arden may not be chasing a dream but she was running after something.

“I’m proud of you.”

She looked up suddenly, inquisitive glance trying to figure out the simple sentence packed with meaning. A faint blush danced across her cheeks and calmed the doubts that once plagued Calum. She still reacted innately to him; leaned into his touches, knocked her knees together and blushed at compliments all while holding eye contact. Things were changing but what was real would always stay the same.

“It’s nothing, really,” she responded but the bite of a smile betrayed her humble statement and showed Calum his words were well received.

“I know you had to do it on your own but what about some help packing and unpacking? I can lift,” Calum offered and smirked as her gaze went to his biceps for just a fleeting moment. “Got anything heavy?”

Arden laughed and gestured to an already packed suitcase sat on the floor; one without wheels and that was stuffed to the brim. “Be my guest.”

***

Arden’s place was small but cozy by the time it was all set up. They spent all day bringing her things over and unpacking, adjusting the furniture that came with the apartment and running out to get a few necessities. It was late by the time they were done, takeout containers littered the small counter space and exhausted bodies crashed into the overly stuffed couch. There was still a lingering awkwardness that dwelled between them in Calum’s truth and Arden’s silence. Especially when there were no more tasks to keep them busy or food to keep their mouths full and provide an excuse not to talk. Calum yawned and stretched under the glare of light from the television static—they hadn’t figured out how to get channels but Arden didn’t mind. Calum would guess the moon was out but the very few windows were too small and awkwardly placed to see much of the night sky.

“I guess I should get going,” Calum mumbled and moved to stand from the couch. Arden’s hesitant touch stopped him short. She was unsure as her hand lightly settled on his forearm.

“It’s really late, you could stay,” she said and furrowed her brows before getting out a rushed, “if you want.”

Her offer surprised him, stunned him into his own silence and stalled any motion. They hadn’t spent a night together since Vegas provided allure of lights and drinks that wound up with them tangled in the same sheets as morning broke over the city. He remembered the panic that morning brought, the haze being demolished by the glint of the ring he had come to almost admire on her finger. It took him a few seconds to decide, to weigh the situation and realize he’d like a new morning with her. Something less panicked and nauseated, something like the naps they took on his couch together. Where they could wake up with ease. Even if Calum would have to crash on the small couch.

“I’ll stay,” he said with a decisive head nod and watched the smile slowly lift the corners of her mouth. Hazel went humble and a bit shy but stayed on him nonetheless as she stood and tilted her head to the only bedroom. “I can sleep here, on the couch, that’s fine.”

Arden waved her hand through the air and let out a small noise Calum might peg as a scoff. “You’d be crunched in on yourself. Besides, it’s not like you haven’t been in my bed before.”

Calum felt heat rise to his cheeks at the reminder of something he was already thinking about. He felt caught but laughed through it. “Right, Vegas.”

She threw him a look he couldn’t quite decipher and followed her to the room they had spent all day setting up. The mattress was still on the floor until a bed frame could be delivered but soft sheets and a pile of inviting pillows welcomed them.

“I was actually talking about when we were kids and you’d spend the night while I was away and I'd come back to you in my bed,” she said as she wandered to the closet and disappeared behind the door for a moment before emerging in a large shirt and small shorts. She was clearly dressed for bed and Calum stood in athletic shorts and a T-shirt from the previous day. “But there was also Vegas.”

Calum clapped a hand to the back of his neck where his palm and fingers were met with warmth. He was blushing all over at the reminder of memories he had forgotten. He blew out a breath as her knees hit the mattress and she pulled the covers back, an inviting pat to the comforter having Calum do the same.

“It was either your bed or the floor,” Calum defended and bit his lip. “Hope you didn’t mind.”

Arden smirked and slightly shook her head as she settled into bed, Calum was a bit stiff and awkward as he tried to do the same. The thought of Vegas was enough to make him settle at the edge; arm nearly falling off as he left little space between him and the floor. Whispers of reasons why this was wrong floated through his mind but they were quickly drowned out when Arden giggled and pulled him toward her with a small remark of him falling off and really sleeping on the floor. He rolled to his side, saw she had done the same and they were facing each other. A gap laid between them and though there was a want to close the distance he was also content to keep things the way they were.

“You don’t think we”—Arden began as she tucked loose hair behind her ear and slightly shifted—“did anything that night in Vegas, do you?”

She finally asked the question that had been continuously reappearing in Calum’s own mind. The only thing he could remember and be one hundred percent certain of was the kiss on the dancefloor and holding her close in the pool after hours. All else was a blur. But the way they woke up; with underclothes still on and rumpled as if from a full night of sleep, helped to paint a picture of what he thought could be.

“I don’t think so,” he confirmed. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember that.”

He couldn’t see a blush on Arden’s face but could imagine the rosy cheeks his words may have inspired. There was minimal light through a small slat of window up high on the wall. It wasn’t like in Calum’s living room where floor to ceiling windows painted her under sun or moonlight. This was more confined. The bed brought them closer than a sectional. It was more intimate. He could hear her breaths, could feel every shift in the mattress and map out every minuscule inch between them. He had thoughts of Vegas in his mind which brought tumbling woes of tomorrow barreling through as well. Another stunt loomed on the horizon. He didn’t know how his new truth being told would impact them in the face of the facade.

Arden yawned and burrowed under her covers just a bit more, pulling the blankets up under her chin and Calum could picture her eyes fluttering closed. He did the same, tried to get comfortable and it wasn’t for the lack of comfort the bed provided but the uncertainties of tomorrow that kept him stiff. Time passed in a blur, it wasn’t until Arden’s breathing was even and she had moved a bit closer that Calum began to relax and let himself fall asleep—though it was interrupted and constantly shifting.

By morning they woke in a familiar way. With Calum’s arm wound around Arden and her cheek pressed to his chest. Neither said anything as they pulled apart and vacated the bed. Only small smiles and lingering gazes back at each other brought them back to the reality of what the day had planned. They left Arden’s place once she was ready so that Calum could change his clothes and check on Duke; his friend had taken care of him for the night but a stop to say hello and make sure he was set for the day was needed. Arden took Duke out as Calum changed and a sense of normalcy and a craving for days like these befell Calum in an urgent way. If it weren’t for the silence on Arden’s end and alarm bells fleetingly ringing in his mind Calum may have had hope that this could be a new normal.

All too soon that normalcy was shattered when they had to leave for another stunt. The fake always caught up with them; the game was always in motion and distinguishing between realities was becoming increasingly more difficult. They found themselves in another familiar position, eyeing paparazzi out of the windshield of Calum’s car as Arden hesitated. Her fingers wound around the seatbelt and held it tight, white knuckles and a hazy gaze telling of how much she did not want to go. She let out a small huff and turned to Calum with pursed lips and a dropping hand. It landed on her thigh and made no move for the door handle.

“Did you mean it?” She asked and caught Calum off guard, made him nearly jump at the sudden question with no previous context. When Calum’s confusion was evident she further expanded. “What you said when our parents were here. Did you really mean it? It’s not all fake?”  

Calum nodded without even having to further process the question. “Of course I meant it.”

“Then why haven’t you said anything else?”

Now Calum furrowed his brows. “I guess I was waiting for you.”

He didn’t want to push and he didn’t want to assume or make her feel obligated to reciprocate. He took her silence as uncertainty and she took his waiting for her to mean the same. He now realized that what he said could be open ended and not answer the questions that might have been tumbling through Arden’s mind.

Arden shrank back in her seat and let her shoulders slump. She blew out a breath and a tendril of hair went with it, an urge to tuck it back behind her ear coursed through him and won. He reached over and gently did so, fingertips trailing and reveling in the moment and the contact. Her hand came up to capture his, brought it down to the console and rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand; it was as if the movement was her contemplation and mind rushing back and forth.

“Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s real and it’s even harder to know what you think is real too,” she admitted and glanced away, bit her lip and stopped the motion of her thumb. It took a moment before she could look at him again. “What moments did you mean? What did you feel was real?”

Calum softened and squeezed her hand, pushed the thought of paparazzi lingering outside to the back of his mind and focused in on her and the memories they had cultivated in just a couple of months.

“The night of the party. The road trip and everything that happened in Vegas”—Arden arched an eyebrow and Calum quickly reconsidered his words—“kissing you on the dance floor, sneaking into the pool, waking up together. When you stood up for us to management. Dates at the diner. Napping on the couch with Duke. Afternoons in the pool. Sunset on the beach. Being proud of you for opening up and finding a path to follow while you figure out where to go to chase your dreams. All of that is real to me.”

Arden went quiet but Calum felt as if he could hear her thoughts out loud—he just couldn’t make sense of them. It felt as if she was thinking in another language, in a way he couldn’t quite understand, but desperately wanted to. He didn’t want her to stay silent again. He laid his cards on the table now it was her turn to show her hand. Whether it was what Calum wanted to see or not.

“That’s all real to me too.”

Calum let out a breath of relief followed by a small and dry laugh, unable to bite back the bubble of hysteria that had worked its way into him. Arden pushed closer, closing some of the minimal distance and reminding Calum of how much he missed peaches and sugar. He licked his lips, dipped his down just a bit.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asked, and suddenly that breath of relief felt fleeting; he felt utterly breathless as he stared into hazel.

She averted her gaze and pulled back, a sinking feeling consuming Calum. He thought it was real.

“Not here,” she explained and looked out to the paparazzi waiting mindlessly on the curb. “Not while we have to do this.”

Calum understood; no words were needed to define this. Crossing lines of real and fake would only make things more hazy. When the moment was right, when everything around them was real, he would ask again. Arden took a breath and flung the car door open, leaving little time for Calum to think further or get too intoxicated by the scent of peaches. He followed her, wrapped her in an embrace to keep the cameras off of her as much as possible and strolled into the cafe as cameras snapped in their faces. While in line he thought less about what the headlines would say, thought more about what they might do for a real moment once the cameras were gone and if it might lead to something sugary sweet.

This stunt was different, management wanted more photos and more affection, something to splash across pages of a magazine and keep fans attention apt. It was the build up before the breakdown. They would have more intense stunts like this before the inevitable drifting phase and while that stage of the stunt already had a harrowing grip on Calum he tried not to think about it. He was okay with living in the moment and unraveling more of Arden.

The line moved fast and their orders came in quickly and they situated themselves at an outdoor table where the paparazzi positioned themselves at a slight distance to make the photos appear off guard. Sunglasses disguised Arden once more and a tilted laminated menu helped to hide her even more. Calum dipped behind it as well, imaginations welcome to run wild at the hidden shots.

“You know,” Calum started and smirked. “You didn’t tell me what your new job is.”

Arden tilted her head and leaned in, whispering words so they could stay between only them. “I can show you, after we get out of here.”

Calum nodded with enthusiasm as he was excited to see another real side to Arden; to show his pride for her accomplishment and maybe, just maybe, get another kiss. In the meantime he humored the paparazzi as they ate, flung an arm around her and played up all the aspects that management was seeking. Arden fed into it and it almost felt like making a mockery of the demand. Over dramatized affection and longing gazes, bashful and playful hiding behind menus and pretending the cameras didn’t exist helped bring them through their lunch with as little actual interaction with them as possible. Once the food was finished and Calum was certain they had gotten plenty of shots he pushed out his chair and stood; offered his hand to Arden and tucked her back into his side.

“That’s enough for today,” he said in a low voice as they walked away, never wanting to give them any more of Arden than was necessary.

Although, Calum had to admit the way they were acting was not them and it felt like a victory to pretend on their own terms. Whether or not it would fool the masses and appease management was up in the air. Their over the top performance kept the paparazzi at bay and from spewing comments to incite reactions or ask questions they wouldn’t want to answer. They fed off of actions, a picture sometimes worth so much more than words. Photos were flashy and attention grabbing. Words fell flat when they were practiced.

Back in the car Arden took Calum’s hand as soon as the cameras were put away. Out of sight, out of her mind and back to being real and okay. Her fingers laced with his and their hands rested on the inner console. Neither said anything about it; all that was said was directions to Arden’s job and questions about it that she danced around with giggles and an emphatic you’ll see.  

“Right here,” she said and pointed to a stone building with one large window and a glass door dominating the front. A flashy sign hung above the glass and Calum immediately smiled when he read it and pulled up to the curb beside the building.

“An art gallery?” He asked and remembered the discussion when they were sat in the grass about art only being a hobby and not a passion. “Don’t tell me you bought an entire gallery and filled it but I still don’t have one painting from you.”

Arden lightheartedly rolled her eyes at his comment as she unbuckled and Calum followed suit, wandered after her as she got out of the car and waved for him to peek inside the closed gallery.

“It’s not my gallery. I’m just a coordinator,” she explained as Calum took a look through the window to dim lighting and art hanging on stone walls—none of which he understood as well as Arden’s. “Who knew all it took was half a degree, an art history course and “good eye” to get a decent job. Well… that and maybe using Michael as a reference helped a bit.”

Calum’s hand found its way to the small of her back without thinking. She was still looking through the window and had come to bite her lip at the admission of using Michael’s name. Calum could tell it wasn’t something she wanted to do; still seeking to step away from his shadow and all. He thought quickly.

“It was all you,” he said and gently rubbed a circle into her soft skin as she gazed at him in question. “You got the job on your own merit. Michael’s name doesn’t hold any weight in the art world. Not this art world anyway.”

“You think?”

The question was genuine and the concern in her eyes spoke volumes to the authenticity of her character. She didn’t want to be a social climber. She didn’t want to use what little light got cast into Michael’s shadow to give her a step up. Calum couldn’t hold back the smile that overtook him or the need to move closer to her. She reciprocated and welcomed his embrace; hand moving to wrap around her waist as he stood behind her and ducked his chin down to the crook of her shoulder.

“I’m sure of it and I’m proud of you.”

Calum could feel the blush that heated up Arden and heard the slight choked up noise that slipped past her resolve. He didn’t know how long she had gone without hearing those words for something she actually felt pride for. Her hands found his and she titled her face towards his. She was so close, peaches and sugar once again invasive in the best of ways.

“I just figured if I don’t know what my own dream is yet I may as well help other people achieve theirs,” she said in a whisper and her lips nearly brushed along Calum’s cheek like so many thank you’s she had previously graced him with.

Calum warmed at her explanation and inched just a bit closer, felt her turn and welcomed her into his hold properly as he adjusted to accommodate. Her chin tilted up and her eyelashes fluttered as a quiet calm blissfully danced around them. Calum was hyper aware of his own heartbeat, could feel it in his throat and his ribs and the pit of his stomach. He wondered if she could hear it, if her heart was beating as erratically and wondrously as his. She licked her lips and the rest of the world faded away into muted colors. His breath hitched in throat.

“Now,” she whispered and let her eyes fully close as Calum leaned in.

It was soft and reminiscent of the dance floor at first. Just a tender touch that lingered for a beautiful moment. They both slightly pulled away but only enough to take one small breath before reconnecting. It was explosive and sent chills up Calum’s spine. His tongue swept at her lower lip and she invited him in, greedy hands sought out more of each other with a press of their bodies. Calum was fiery and floating, breathless and rejuvenated once they pulled away. Her eyes stayed closed a moment before fluttering open and softly meeting his gaze. Though there was the faint sound of bells ringing through Calum’s mind they were drowned out in favor of his heart beat and the small breaths that escaped Arden.

“I know you just got your new place set up but do you want to head back to mine?” Calum asked and waited with bated breath and hope on his heart and sleeve. “Duke misses you, you know.”

“Oh does he?”

Calum nodded with a cheeky grin and gave her a small peck on the cheek. “He does. Told me this morning.”

“How could I ever refuse then?” She questioned with sparkling eyes and a crooked smile as they started back for the car with hands held. “And you know Micheal won’t be waiting up for me anymore either.”

Calum stopped dead in his tracks and so did Arden consequently. Those bells came back as a blaring alarm.

“Michael’s gonna kill me,” Calum said with volition; as if it was a known fact. He rubbed at his jaw with his free hand and let worry crease his forehead. “Soon as he finds out we’re real that’ll be the end.”

Arden’s eyes went wide and Calum knew in that moment the warning bells had caught up to her. Her hand dropped from his and went unsurely to the hem of her shirt with a loose grip. Her knees knocked together and she shook her head. He could tell she was trying to think it through. He hoped he hadn’t scared her into not pursuing a real relationship. Michael was just another obstacle they would have to go around.

“Maybe we don’t need to tell him?” Calum asked with a wavering voice and not much faith; a bite of guilt already eating at him at the prospect of omitting such a big truth from his best friend.

“What Michael doesn’t know”—she said as she came back from the warning alarm and opened the car’s passenger door—“won’t kill you.”

Before she could get in the car Calum stopped her short and shook his head as he weighed the situation and his request. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

People passed by on the sidewalk as Arden took an extra moment to contemplate. Calum reached for her hand again and felt an ache in his chest ease up when she squeezed back.

“I mean, I did ask you to lie to your family,” she began and took a step toward him, the door shutting behind her. “And we will tell them all the truth eventually. Right now, we still have a lot to figure out between us. It’s probably best that it stays just between us. We don’t need more outside forces trying to call the shots.”

Calum knew that to be true, there was still a lot up in the air between them. It was real but it was still laden with questions and undefined. With a loose hold on her hand he pulled her closer and pressed a shy kiss to her forehead.

“Just until we figure it all out,” he agreed.

“Can we head to your place now? I miss Duke,” Arden agreed and teased.

Calum decided to ignore everything except the way she lit him up and made him feel like he was floating. To focus only on her and what was best for them. Nothing else mattered. Not Michael. Not management. Not questions and labels yet to be discussed. What they knew was that it was real and something more than a contract could define. All of the falling forces lingering around them didn’t hold half a flame to the importance of each other.

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