#so he refuses to pay for one and i have no money
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oracle-of-dream · 3 days ago
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Welcome to the Dollhouse
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Summary: Y/n is down on their luck making financial ends meet. When a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity forces them into a bargain that can't refuse. Now, they find themselves at a party searching for a partner but the person they get is someone they'd never expect.
Notes: Male Reader, Dubious Contracts, Financial Struggles, Idol Jay, Enhypen exists, Fake names, Kissing
Wordcount: 6.9k
It’s funny to think about how much money can buy. Many people say it can’t buy happiness, love, or fulfillment. But when push comes to shove. Money makes the world go round…
Being in college was all you wanted. A chance to get an education that was enough to get you away from the boring life that awaited you if you decided to miss out. Moving to a big city, far away from your parents wasn’t even the hard part. It was paying for college… You managed to land a decent scholarship, as long as you did your school work and did some volunteering to make the school look good then you’d be safe to coast through without any worries. Or that was the case. In your second semester of freshman year, one picture put you dead in the water.
It was your first party. No parents to worry about what time you’d be back. Friends watch you in case things get too crazy. And a cute guy who invited you. A frat boy.By the end of the night, videos of you drinking online circulated. And being a year under the drinking age wasn’t a good look either. The school tore away your scholarship, you were lucky they didn’t expel you. You didn’t have the heart to tell your parents what happened, so you had to find a way to pay for school alone. You looked for private loans, but most wouldn’t accept you without a guarantor, someone to pay them back if you couldn’t. And working odd jobs wouldn’t earn you enough money before the next semester. That’s where The Dollhouse entered the picture. 
This was the sixth bank you’d visited. You were desperate. Waiting for the subway, you were approached by a man in a long black coat. He was older than you, but not by much, his early thirties max. He wore a black shirt and pants, with black hair to match. He was almost like a shadow… if shadows were handsome men. “Excuse me, you dropped this!” He exclaimed as he rushed over to you. He had your phone in his hand, ready to offer it to you.
You must’ve dropped it at the bank. “Thank you so much! I’d be dead without this.”
“You should be more careful! You never know what kind of people you’ll meet. Stranger Danger and all that.”
You giggled. He sounded like your Dad saying that. “Aren’t you a stranger?”
He tilted his head to the side, pondering your point. “I suppose so. You can call me Seo-jun.”
“I’m y/n. Sorry for making you chase me here, and thanks again for bringing me my phone.”
He shook his head. “It’s no problem. I have to go this way for work anyway.”
“What kind of job do you have?”
“I’m sorta like a manager. I help connect people looking for work with clients looking for workers.” Seo-jun smiled wryly. “But right now, business is down. Some workers quit recently, and our clients want more new faces.”
You felt a pang in your stomach. You’d been cutting out meals to save money and your job was still only paying minimum wage. Considering you had a bit of free time, you took a chance. “I could lend a hand. I could use the money, and you did help me. It’s only fair that I return the favor.”
Seo-jun’s smile faded a bit. “Um… You’re a nice kid. But I don’t think our work is good for you.”
Originally you were offering just to be nice, but now your interest was piqued. “W-Why not?” 
“Don’t be like that. You look like a hard worker, but it’s not ordinary work. The paychecks are nice, but I’d hate to see such a good kid like you work there.”
“How well does it pay?”
“That’s beside the point–”
“How much does it pay!?” You demanded.
“Depending on your client. After fees from management, I’ve seen some workers make over $4,000 in less than a week of work.” Seo-jun sighed.
4k in a week could set you up for the entire semester before the end of the summer, and then some! “Take me to work with you! Please!” Seo-jun tried not to look you in the eye, but you gripped his arm and refused to let go. “Then you’ll have to walk with me there. I’ll just talk to your boss.”
“Woah, woah. I’ll take you there, just don’t make a scene. People are staring,” He whispered, trying to peel you off him.
Thankfully it wasn’t too far of a train ride. You spent it wondering what kind of work they’d had you do. You weren’t well-dressed, having sold off most of your nice clothing. Maybe if there were uniforms, then your clothes wouldn’t be much of a problem. Seo-jun was silent for most of the ride, texting someone. His face was dark, which made his face stand out more. He wasn’t just pretty, he was extremely handsome. His black hair settled on his forehead and dipped slightly past his eyebrow making him even more attractive. The type of look no one could get enough of. And a few of the girls on the train agreed with you, from how they stared.
Seo-jun guided you off the train after another five stops. You walked a few blocks, turned a corner, and approached a black building wedged between two pale ones. Before knocking, Seo-jun looked at you. “Are you sure?”
You nodded. “I think I can handle it.” You were a bit nervous. There weren’t many people on this street, and the building was tall and imposing in the quiet neighborhood.
Seo-jun knocked on the door. It cracked open, and a big man with tattoos peeked through the crack. Once he registered who was at the door, it closed again before opening completely. Seo-jun said nothing as he entered the building, and you closely followed behind him. The large man shut the door behind you. Now you saw him completely, he looked more like an NFL player. He could easily throw you around if he wanted to. Seo-jun didn’t pay the man any mind, walking forward as he passed several doors. Each had a sign on it. Most said open and a few said occupied. The doors were closed and looked pretty heavy. It was so quiet, you could only hear the sounds of your footsteps on the tile. Seo-Jun led you to an office at the end of the hallway, putting in a key from his pocket and unlocking it. He sat down behind the desk, which was covered with papers. 
“Come in and take a seat, y/n.” 
You sat down in the chair in front of the desk. The room had a red velvet wall, and pictures of models. Or at least, they seemed like models. All of them were men in their early twenties, each was different but handsome. You even saw one that looked like Seo-Jun.
“Is that you?” You pointed at the photo.
Seo-Jun didn’t look. “Not anymore. That was a long time ago.” You raised an eyebrow. He looked almost the same in the photo as in front of you. But maybe it wasn’t the best time to push him to spill more. 
“Why are you looking for money?” Seo-Jun questioned.
“College. It’s expensive, ya know?”
He scoffed. “Yeah. I know. Don’t you have parents, or any other family who can help?”
You shook your head. “That’s not an option.” Thinking about your family left a bitter taste in your mouth. They’d be so disappointed if they knew how bad things had gotten.
He pursed his lips like he understood the feeling. “How much money do you need?”
“Ideally, enough for school.”
“Give me a number.”
“It’s about $10k a semester. More if I live on campus.”
“Okay, and when school’s not in session, do you have a place to live? Around here, specifically.” You shook your head. You caught yourself about to talk about your family home, but maybe it was best not to… Seo-Jun typed a few things on a calculator on his phone, opened a laptop, and waited for it to start. “Okay. If you start working with us, it's like this. We’ll give you the money and other necessities you need, and you have to work off that amount.”
“You’ll give me the money?”
“I’ll have you log into your student account, and I’ll pay your semester in advance now. But that’s only if you accept our offer.”
“Of course!”
Seo-Jun sighed. “Please hear me completely before you decide.” He straightened his back as he pulled the laptop closer to him. He typed a few things before turning the computer around, and showing you the screen. It was a camera feed. “This is what we do.”
You watched closely. It looked like a guy your age was in a room with another person. They were talking. You were about to look away, shrugging it off before you saw the boy kneel on the ground. He was doing something to the older man’s pants. You leaned in to see, but the camera wasn’t clear enough.
“What is this?”
“This is the job. Be a partner for your clients, whatever that means for them. Then they’ll pay you for the service.” Seo-Jun’s jaw went slack. “Like I said, this isn’t an ordinary job. But if you take it, we’ll take care of you. You’ll have a home and meals, and we’ll keep our end of the bargain and pay for school.”
You sat back in your chair as the reality of the offer landed on you. Being hired, partner… A fancy way to say, prostitute. Was this really the only way?
“I know that you don’t want to pressure your family with your financial situation. And I’ll be honest, we didn’t bump into each other by mistake.” Seo-Jun pulled your phone out of his pocket.
You didn’t even realize you’d dropped it…
“You didn’t drop it. I stole it. I needed an excuse to talk to you, and for you to trust me. I know you’ve been looking for loans, but can’t get any.” Seo-Jun leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk. “We need workers, and you need our help. Or… does your sweet mother wanna hear about your scholarship?”
A cold sweat ran down your neck. You’d walked right into a cage and didn’t even realize it. “What scholarship?” You gulped.
“The one you lost. It’s a shame. How one mistake can ruin everything for you, isn’t it?” Seo-Jun put a video on the laptop, the same one that ruined your chances of living a normal college life. “We can make it so the video never sees the light of day again, as a bonus for signing with us. You won’t have to worry about mommy seeing it, or knowing how you lost your scholarship. You’ll have school paid for, and have time to study. All you need to do is be a worker.” Seo-Jun pulled a piece of paper from a stack on his desk, a pre-printed contract, with your name at the top. “You can read through it if you’d like. Everything I promised is in there.”
Seo-Jun placed the paper on the desk, sliding it toward you, with a pen on top.
“How can you do this to people?” You mumbled.
“It’s never easy. I did try to give you a warning, but you insisted.”
“That was before I knew this!” You wanted to throw the paper at him and storm out, but your legs were glued to the seat. This was a once-in-a-lifetime offer.
“I’ll also mention. Any extra “gifts” you get from your clients will be yours to keep. Frequently, we get high-profile clients who love to have specific partners they visit. And they bring them gifts every time they visit; from clothes and jewelry to cars and even buildings.” Seo-Jun stood from his seat, walking around the desk to lean on it close to you. “It’s a good deal. Fair and transparent. If you’re lucky, you’ll be out fast. And your identity is completely concealed within our walls. No one will ever know you worked here unless we want them to know.” He picked up your hand and the pen, placing them together. “So, what’s the call?”
Your jaw was so tight, you struggled to speak, “C-Can I sleep on this?” 
“No. Once you walk out the door, the offer’s gone.” He said flatly.
The pressure was too much. You couldn’t think of anything. There was no real way out, and this was too good of an offer to pass. Even if you refused, how could you afford the new semester? You sighed heavily before moving the pen to the paper, slowly signing your name. The red ink flowed on the paper, drying into a deep crimson like you were using your blood to sign.
“Excellent. As of today, you’re a part of the Dollhouse.” Seo-Jun snatched the paper off the desk, folding it and tucking it into his back pocket. “Here’s this back,” He handed your phone back to you. “One more thing, if you violate our contract or try to run. We’ll drag your ass back here faster than you can blink. If not then your parents will have to pay off the loan.”
Your head hung. Guilt sat on your shoulder as you leaned back in the chair. This was your fate now…
Seo-Jun handed you a card. “You’ll go back to your dorm. When you do, call this number and answer whatever questions they ask. We’ll have to come by in about a week for measurements.”
“What measurements?”
“We need your body measurements to advertise you. And we’ll have to dress you, give you a nice haircut, and dress you up. Which, the Dollhouse will pay for. This will add to your debt, naturally.”
“I-I don’t want it then!”
“If you don’t look nice, no one will ask for you. If not, then you won’t make any money. If you make us no money, you’ll be stuck in our arrangement for a while.” Seo-Jun frowned. “I don’t enjoy this, so let’s make this as easy as possible. There’s an event next week where new clients can meet our workers clandestinely. It’s like a mixer, speed-dating. That’s your best way to get a high-roller on your account to support you.”
You rolled your eyes. “This is so stupid. Why would anyone pick me anyway?”
Seo-Jun glared at you. “Do not talk about yourself like that. If you start looking down on yourself, clients can tell you don’t value yourself. If you can value yourself, how can you value them?”
Seo-Jun sent you back on your way, giving you directions back home. The ride back home felt like hours. All you could do was try not to cry. You tried so hard to come to the city to be someone different than how you could’ve been back home, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. You got back to your dorm. It was dark and quiet, just like that building. You were lucky enough not to have any roommates. No one to hear you cry yourself to sleep…
In the morning, you woke up as your phone rang. You rolled over, ignoring the call. But it rang, again and again. After the fourth phone call in a row, you looked at it. It was an unknown number.
You answered cautiously. “H-Hello?”
“Y/n? Have you lost your mind?” Seo-Jun said, with disappointment in his tone.
“How did you get this number?”
“I stole your phone. I knew I had to get your number too. Just in case you ran off.” He sighed. “I thought you did for a moment. That would’ve been a lot of trouble for the both of us… Why didn’t you call me when you got home?”
You’d completely forgotten about calling the number on the card. “Sorry. It slipped my mind.”
“Let’s get rid of that habit. Being forgetful isn’t cute. Some clients will call you at different times of the day and don’t take kindly to being ignored. You’ve got a job that’s busier than full-time. It’s 24/7.”
“Well, what do you want, Seo-Jun?”
“When we’re talking business, please call me Mr. Seo-Jun.”
You groaned but knew he wasn’t joking. “What do you want, Mr. Seo-Jun?”
“I need you to tell me your school login. I want to see your schedule for classes and pay your bill.” You told him without any fuss. You were too tired to give a damn anymore. “There’s a good boy. Now, you can go back to the rest of your week. I’ll keep in touch.”
Seo-Jun hung up before you could answer him. It was Wednesday, meaning your classes started later in the day. You took your time showering and picking out clothes. It was thirty minutes before class when you went to the bus stop. Like clockwork, your friend, Eun, waited for you to arrive.
Eun was a friend you made during the first semester of college. He was 5’9” and goofy, often laughing at his jokes like a comedy club. He probably heard a laugh track in his head when he told jokes. He usually dressed in bright-colored shirts, denim jeans, and a big smile. He was also there for you when you’d gone through the frat party fiasco. Most of your “friends” had ditched you, throwing you under the bus for drinking to save their necks. But Eun was the only one who stayed by your side.
Eun waved at you as you walked toward him. “Good morning!”
“Morning, Eun.”
He studied your face for a moment. “Yeesh, what happened? You look like you had a rough sleep.”
“Thanks, buddy. You always know just what to say…” You sighed as you looked up at the sky.
“I wasn’t trying to be funny. Seriously dude, are you okay?”
You nodded. “I’m fine.”
“If you’re sure… then, you’ll wanna hear about how Enhypen are coming to the area to perform.”
Your eyes bulged. “Enhypen’s coming here!? No fucking way, when!?”
“The news dropped this morning. They’re holding a small concert on campus around next week!” 
Your stomach churned. Next week!? That’s when the mixer was supposed to be. Maybe you could ask Seo-Jun for a day off to attend the concert…
Eun saw your smile drop. “Hey, dude, seriously. What’s going on? Normally you’re super excited about this kind of stuff.”
“I am. I’ve got some stuff happening next week, so I hope they don’t overlap.” You prayed that it would be some swift joke that would pass you by…
The next few days passed, and you kept a close eye on your phone. Not a single call or text from your new boss. Or would your owner be the right word? You checked your school login a few days ago, and your school bill for the next semester was already paid in advance. It was good to know Seo-Jun was a man of his word. But it also meant that everything else he’d said would pass too. It wasn’t until Monday that you got some news. 
The Enhypen concert was on a Friday. Which made sense, students would stay on campus all the time. So why not have a concert that night? However, your morning was disturbed by a call. You answered it immediately.
“Hello?”
“Good job answering the first time. You’re learning.” You could hear the smirk on his face.
“Let’s get to the part where you tell me what you want.”
“To the point it is. The date of the mixer is set to be this Friday night, it’ll be pretty late so get your homework done in time.”
You rolled your eyes. “Like you care about my schoolwork.”
“Of course I do. I’m the one paying for it.”
“What time exactly is the mixer?”
“Why?” Seo-Jun questioned.
“Well, there’s a concert happening on campus and I wanted to go–”
Seo-Jun sucked his teeth. “No. You’re expected to be here before sunset so we can get you ready. Tardiness will only put the whole team behind schedule, and some client’s time is precious.”
“But–”
“Be here. Friday. After class. Bye.” Seo-Jun hung up without another word.
You huffed a heavy sigh as you texted Eun that you wouldn’t attend the concert. Naturally, he was concerned about why and questioned you, but you lied about having a family matter to attend to. He promised to take videos for you at least. It left you feeling like a dog on a leash. Any time Seo-Jun pulled on it, you had no choice but to follow his orders. In the days before the mixer, he asked you more questions about the style of clothes you’d enjoy, strengths, weaknesses, talents, quirks, birthmarks, anything you hated, and even your allergies.
On Friday, after your last class. There was a black SUV waiting outside your dorm. Walking past the suspicious car, the window rolled down. “Just going to ignore me?” Seo-Jun’s voice whistled out. You turned to see him sitting in the back seat. “Get in. Time for fitting.”
“I just got home. Don’t I get to change or something?”
“Does it matter? You’d just be changing just to change again. You’ll have time to relax while waiting for the mixer to start.” You got in the car, tossing your backpack in. The car was nice. You didn’t recognize the driver. 
Seo-Jun handed you a folder. “Does everything in here look right?”
You opened it. It was almost like a resume, all about you. From an approximate height and weight to even an ethnicity check. “How did you guess my ethnicity? I didn’t tell you that.”
He shrugged. “The internet is a scary place. If you’ve put it somewhere online before, it's on the dark web.” They closed the folder and tucked it into a briefcase. “So, let me explain the mixer a bit. Generally, it's an event for our workers to meet new clients. But also for some of our clients to show off to their rich buddies and convince them to invest in our services. Be presentable, flexible, and obedient to earn attention.” Out of the briefcase, Seo-Jun produced pictures of young men pandering to their clients. “Now, we never call our clients “clients” to their face. They’re our partners. And you’ll need a persona. Something that’s already similar to who you are so you don’t need to act too much. Some like them feisty, others like our boys a little more submissive.”
“How do I come up with one?”
“Don’t, just be you and they will. Once you’ve got one, then stick to it. The savior types might be your best bet, so maybe you’ll get them with a sort of damsel persona.”
“Savior types?”
“The ones who get off on the fact they’re helping you. Like they’re the only ones who ever could, so you need them to save you.��
There was so much nuance to this… It made your head hurt just thinking about it. 
Seo-Jun studied your expression. “It’s your first one, so don’t worry about standing out. You’ll be standing with the newbies, like a puppy in an adoption bin. All the newbies are workers without a regular client, so they’re a bit cutthroat when someone gets close.”
“Anything else?” You sighed as you scrolled through your phone.
Seo-Jun leaned forward and snatched it, putting it inside his briefcase.“Also, you can't use phones. You’ll be engaged the whole time, so we can’t risk distractions. And we can’t let you take any photos of anyone.” 
You grumbled as you looked out of the heavily tinted windows. The rest of the car ride was silent, even the car didn’t make much noise. After the car ride, you were escorted into the Dollhouse. Upstairs were the living quarters for all the “Dolls” as Seo-Jun called them. You were now one of the Dolls of his house. Each doll was awarded their room. Some got to move out if their clients bought them a place to stay, but they weren’t allowed to leave the city without permission. And, each doll had a name. Something they’d go by. Your new name, Minsu, means Elegant and Beautiful according to Seo-Jun. 
“Okay. From now on, anytime you’re in the dollhouse or with a client, you’ll be called Minsu. Clients can pay to change their name. But it's how we can identify you without exposing your identity.” Seo-Jun elaborated, “We’ve had issues in the past of clients who get too attached to their dolls and tried to approach someone’s family to ask permission to marry their song. Which, of course, we dealt with before disaster struck.”
Minsu… You’re new name. Nothing was yours anymore. Your body, time, and now name wasn’t even yours.
“Let’s practice.” Seo-Jun cleared his throat. “Minsu, how are you?”
You hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I’m fine… Mr. Seo-Jun.”
“Good job. You even remembered Mr.” He smiled. Seo-Jun put your backpack in your room. It was a simple room, with a bed, desk, and wardrobe. It was bare. “You can decorate it with what you want, it's all yours. But if your client gives you a gift, I’d recommend making a space for it. They notice this kind of stuff.”
You looked around the room. The floor was hardwood, cold, and slightly creaky. You weren’t given much time to settle before Seo-Jun took you to the next floor. “This is the dressing room. We dress the dolls here in outfits when they have to attend events. We also have makeup available, if you don’t know how to use it we can teach you. You are expected to wear makeup, shave, and keep your body healthy while in our care.” There were two older women there. It was the first time you’d seen women in the dollhouse so far.
“This is Jill and Mary. They’re the main doll caretakers and your beauticians. They make you beautiful on the inside and out for our clients. They also help with cooking and cleaning, so please treat them kindly.”
You nodded to them shyly.
Mary cracked a smile. Her caramel brown skin had glitter around her eyes, and her smile was so white even the crayon wouldn’t be able to keep up. Her clothes were simple but chic like she was about to walk a runway. Jill was white, her most notable feature was her colorful hair. Her tattoos, where they could be seen, were amazingly detailed. She had a snake slithering up her throat, ready to bite her chin.
Seo-Jun cleared his throat. “Introduce yourself.”
“O-Oh! I’m y/n.”
Seo-Jun chuckled. “Not that name, remember?”
“I have to use my fake name with other workers too?”
Seo-Jun frowned. “It’s not fake. It’s your name. It’s just a second one to the one you’re born with. And yes, anonymity is our friend here. So use the name that you were given, please.”
You turned to the women, who were smiling expectantly. “Hi… I’m Minsu. I guess.”
Mary spoke first, “You’ll get used to it. It’s a transitory period right now so just take it slow.” Jill nodded in agreement. “Now, you’re here for fitting, right?” You could tell Mary had a slight English accent, but she was suppressing it.
“I’ll leave it to you. Minsu’s a very good boy, he won’t cause any trouble,” Seo-Jun said as he left you with the two women. Mary and Jill were thorough, each taking a side of your body and measuring you. The length of your arms, legs, waist size, and even your bust. 
“So, this will be your first mixer, no?” Mary asked.
You nodded.
“Are we looking for something more cute or sexy with the concept here, Mary?” Jill asked.
“Let’s ask him.” 
Mary looked at you, waiting for you to answer. “Um… I guess cute?”
Jill booed at you. “You’ve got a sexy frame already. We can crop a top, get you loose-fitting shorts, and give you something cozy yet sexy.”
“Jill, let’s respect him here. Minsu doesn’t want that. Plus, he’d look way better in leather and sheer. I already know what you’re thinking. That just won’t work.”
Jill and Mary started holding up pieces over you, arguing about what to give you. Slowly they moved away from the cute vibe you’d asked for… By the end, you had a sheer shirt, black leather pants, with a leather belt around your waist, not your pants, and a gray denim jacket. You were given some silver accessories, rings, and necklaces to try on. 
You’d never worn anything so… revealing. Without your jacket or the design on the front of the shirt, you’d be shirtless. The black sheet was see-through; you could see your stomach in the mirror, and your belt only pulled attention to it. The belt was odd. It was above your pants, so make your waist smaller, so the loops used for belts were altered to move up for the belt to slide through and keep your pants up.
“Minsu, you look great!” Jill exclaimed. 
Mary nodded in agreement. “Jill was right, your body suits a sexier concept anyway. Just keep the jacket on if you’re feeling modest. But if you want to get attention, take it off halfway through the party. Pretend it's warm or something!”
The pair squealed like young girls, rambling about ways to appeal to potential clients. But you were just tired and hungry. “So, when can I eat?”
“Oh, you haven’t eaten?” Jill frowned.
“We’ll get you something light. We don’t want to bloat you too much, since you have the belt on. There’s food at the mixer but remember not to stuff your face.” Mary said as she stepped away.
“Why not?”
“Well, what if a client wants to take you home? You’ll want your body to look its best if you have to perform.” Jill squealed. You hadn’t thought of that. What if someone does show an interest in you? And they want something physical from you… Would you be able to go through with it?
Mary returned with a sliced apple. “This should hold you over for now. The mixer will be soon. We still have to do your hair and makeup. So sit, It’s alright if you doze off, we’ll take good care of you.” You listened, sitting in a studio chair as they started working, one on your hair and the other on your makeup. Like magic, you passed out almost immediately in the chair. When you opened your eyes, they’d just finished their last touches.
“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty. You look amazing!” You looked into the mirror in front of you. Your eyebrows had been brushed. Your shawling and nose had never been more prominent. And your hair had a shine that you could only really get from a hair salon.
“Thank you… This is great.” You mumbled as you looked over yourself.
The pair smiled triumphantly. “It's all a part of the job! So go knock them out! Seo-Jun will be here any minute to take you to the mixer.” 
They started cleaning as you left the room, going back to your room. There was a mirror on your desk. You used it to study yourself more. Their work was impeccable, with model-quality makeup in such a short time. The alone time you’d found was spoiled quickly with a knock at the door. You answered it to see Seo-Jun waiting.
“Let’s go. Leave your backpack, you can get it later.”
You put the mirror back on your desk and followed Seo-Jun out the door. The venue for the mixer was toward the downtown area in a hotel, one of the large classy ballrooms. There were waitstaff walking with finger food. Many young men, all fashionably dressed, stood around talking to each other. It was intimidating seeing some of them. They could easily be actors and models on the front of magazines… Then there was you, the college kid who wasn’t in the same league as them.
Seo-Jun led you to an empty table. “Okay, you’ll sit here. If anyone comes to you, talk to them respectfully but in a friendly manner. You’re the only doll from our house, all these other ones won’t know you. Remember, Minsu, nothing about your personal life. Or theirs. Keep everything hidden, and tell only what you need to.”
You nodded nervously. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to try and point you out to a few people.” Seo-Jun turned to leave, but you grabbed his arm. He was all you’d known for the last week. And now he was leaving you alone at a table at this huge party. “If you want to be a baby, do that to clients. But with me don’t be a baby, I’ll be watching the whole time. Nothing will happen to you.” He pulled his hand away and walked off, talking to a few men in suits.
The mixer began shortly after. Men started slowly filling the room, all dressed in formal clothes, from suits or high-end outfits. Not one paid you any mind. You were relieved that no one was interested in you. You occasionally looked around the room, searching for Seo-Jun with little luck. The first hour was a panic fest, silently hoping no one would sit at your table and talk to you. In the second hour, some clients found who they liked talking to and stuck to certain areas. Some dolls had almost seven men around them at any time. In the third hour, some dolls left with their partners. 
Thankfully, not one person seemed interested in you. You’d been sitting so long that your legs started to fall asleep. You’d tried your best to eat any time the servers walked past you with a plate, but the buffet at the other end of the room was almost calling you. Cautiously, looking over your shoulders, you stood and made your way over. Walking like you knew what to do, or like you belonged. The table was full of interesting foods you’d never tried. Mostly seafood and assorted fruits. You took a plate and started stacking it with whatever seemed the yummiest, which was one of everything!
It wasn’t until you reached the end that you realized how much you’d grabbed. It wouldn’t all fit on your plate. If you tried walking back to your seat, you’d drop something… You turned, slowly toward your table when you bumped into someone, keeping the damage under control. You don’t drop your food! 
The person in front of you let out a heavy sigh. You looked forward, a huge spot on their shirt from where you’d bumped into them.
“Holy shit, I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed.
He shook his head. “It’s alright, you didn’t mean to.”
You put your plate down on a nearby table. You slid the sleeve of your jacket down, making it slide off your shoulder, as you rubbed the spot. It didn’t look like it was going to clean neatly. “I’m really sorry. I can take it and get it washed?” You suggested as you looked at the man’s face.
You realized he was extremely familiar–like celebrity familiar. He had a middle part with long dark hair that draped his eyes. His jawline was sharp, and his eyebrows knitted together in frustration. 
“Do I know you?” You asked.
“Uh, no. We don’t know each other.” The man assured.
The spot wasn’t getting any better and some people were starting to stare. “How about you take my jacket for now?” You slid off your jacket, showing off your top completely to the room.
“Oh, I–That’s not necessary.” The man said, looking away from you. “Just put your jacket back on.”
“I insist! I ruined your shirt!” More people started staring, and whispering. 
“Fine! I’ll take it, just give it!” He snatched the jacket from you, pulling it over himself as he looked down. His long hair covered his face as he looked around. 
“Do you have a table? You can sit with me, and we can talk about getting your shirt cleaned.”
The man nodded again. “Fine, just take me away from here.”
You took him to your table in the corner of the room, where you’d spent the last three hours alone. Many more people were watching you this time than when you’d left. Maybe Jill was right about your shirt… It made you a little self-conscious with so much staring. You pulled out a chair for the man and sat next to him.
“I’m y-Minsu! It’s nice to meet you.” You put your hand out.
“Are things always like this?” 
You shrugged. “This is my first time here, so I don’t really know.”
The man looked around the room, acknowledging the looks. “Well… That’s nice.”
You sat awkwardly as you looked at him. You noticed Seo-Jun behind him, toward the other end of the room, motioning something to you. Talk to him?
“So, Mister? What brings you here?” You asked,
“You don’t need to call me that. My name’s Jay. I… came here for something stupid and I don’t think I should’ve come.”
You smiled at him. “You sound like someone made you come here. I didn’t want to be here either. I was so worried that someone would talk to me, but it turns out that no one would even pay attention to me.”
“Why’s that?”
“I just… don’t think this is my sort of party. And I’m not very good at meeting new people. I’m only here because I have to.”
Jay nodded. “I get that. I really only came because my members teased me about not meeting any new people.”
“Members?”
Jay’s eyes flickered to you. “Y-Yeah. I’m a part of a group. I’m a performer.”
“Whoa! Do you make music? I’d love to listen to it.”
Jay smirked. “It’s not me who makes the music. But I dabble.”
“I don’t have my phone. Tell me your band, and I’ll try to remember it.”
Jay leaned close to you to whisper, “I’m a member of Enhypen.”
You blinked. The words echoed in your brain before you looked at the man again. That’s where you’d seen him! He was Jay from Enhypen, and he was talking to you. “O-Oh, yeah I’ve heard of that group before.”
“Oh? Are you a fan?” Jay smiled. “It’s always nice to meet a fan.”
“I’m not trying to be weird. I am a fan, but if you wanna forget about it or talk to someone else–”
“No. You’re funny. And I think it would be better to spend time with a fan.” Jay slipped your jacket off and placed it over your shoulders. “I think this suits you better than me, by the way.” Your heart was fluttering a mile a minute. Jay said he wanted to spend time with you and even draped a jacket over your shoulders. Eun would be foaming at the mouth at this point.
“Could I ask why you’re at an all-guy mixer?”
“You can, but then I’d ask you the same question.”
“Touche…” You chuckled awkwardly. “Well, I’m here for another hour. So we can chat… or whatever.”
Jay smirked. “Would you wanna talk somewhere else?”
You nodded. “I’m cool with that. It beats talking here, with all the staring.”
“Then let’s roll,” Jay said as he stood. You followed him as he led you out of the room. You spotted Seo-Jun who gave you a thumbs-up as you passed by. Jay took you to a room in the hotel. It had an amazing view since it was on a higher floor.
“Jay, check this out! It’s so high!” You cheered.
“So, uh. I’m kind of awkward at this since I’ve never done it. I don’t have any preferences or anything. I’d be okay to start and see how it goes.” Jay said.
You turned around to see Jay sitting on the bed in the room. “What?”
“Isn’t this the part where we… do stuff?” Jay raised an eyebrow.
Your face went warm. You hadn’t thought about the context of things until now. Jay was at a party to meet a partner to spend the night with… and he’d chosen you. And like an idiot you accepted thinking he just wanted to talk.
“I-I…”
“Is it more of a, I tell you what to do?” Jay stood, walking toward you. “I’m new to this whole thing, so I’d appreciate it if you could help me.”
You couldn’t form the words you wanted. All of the thoughts in your mind couldn’t fit the situation in front of you. “I-I’m new too,” was all that you could muster.
“Well, that works for the both of us then. We can figure it out together…” Jay approached you until the both of you were at the window. Your back against it, he leaned his arm on the glass near your head. “Let’s just go slow.” 
Jay’s tone was calm and empathetic as if he were as worried as you were. He slid his free hand behind your neck and kissed you softly. Your eyes fluttered shut as you placed your hands against his chest, letting him move as he pleased. It was a peck at first. Just a touch, a test. Then Jay leaned in again for a kiss, your lips meeting for longer. His nose brushed yours as he started to move his lips experimentally to find what he liked…
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snake-bite-piercing · 2 days ago
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Our world
You live alone in a small apartment in a not so small town. Trying to find a job after finishing college has been your main problem as of now.
Ever since monsters and humans started living side by side, people have been having a harder time finding jobs or keeping one. You just so happen to be one of them. Your best friend was able to get you a part time job as a waiter.
It's definitely not the job you wanted but you'll take what you can get. At least for now. You had to wear a white button up shirt with a tie, black pants, and your hair had to be in a bun at all times. The good thing about this job was that it was only a few blocks away.
You started at 2 p.m. and ended at 8 p.m. which was perfectly fine with you. When you got to the restaurant it was pretty fancy. You were given an apron that had your name on it at the bottom left side. The restaurant was a mix of monsters and humans. More monsters than humans. That didn't bother you though you were taught to treat anyone who bleeds blood with respect.
You were getting ready to serve your last table of the night. A group of werewolves. There were seven of them they all looked to be in their late twenties. You couldn't take your eyes off of one of them. He was incredibly tall and muscular. Once they were seated you brought them water. "Can I start you guys off with anything to drink?" You said as you got your notepad out. They had all ordered drinks and told you they needed some time to look over the menu.
Some of the other waiters went home since it was starting to get a bit emptier. You came over with their drinks asking again if they were ready to order. "We'll all have steaks. Medium-rare please." The man with the black suit said. "Ok, I'll get that out as soon as I can," you said as you smiled.
They had their meal but stayed and chatted. They still hadn't paid. You needed them to pay so I could leave, I had already hinted at it five times. After waiting some more, I decided to try again. "Hello, gentleman. I hope your dinner was wonderful. I just wanted to let you know there's one more piece of cake that hasn't been sold." you said while trying not to sound annoyed.
"We're fine we don't want anything else." The man that I was eyeing at the beginning said. "Oh, that's great! I'll just leave this here. you said as you slid the check to him. You stood there and smiled at him waiting for him to sign it. He put the cash inside never breaking eye contact with you. You quickly graded it and said, "Well I hope you gentlemen have a nice night."
While you were walking home you were stopped by a man. He had a gun pointed at you and was grabbing at your bag. You didn't want to let go of your bag, but you also didn't want to get shot. The man quickly ran away but didn't even make a block. A group of men had jumped him. One of them walks towards you with your bag. It was him.
"I think this is yours," he said holding your bag up. "Thank you," you said trying to catch your breath. He put his hand on your back and rubbed small circles on your back. "Let me walk you home," he said. You walked past his guys and caught a glimpse of the man who tried to rob you. He was bloody.
When you made it home you thanked him again for helping you. You wanted to give back the money for his dinner, but he refused. "Let me take you out to dinner," he said which caught you off guard. You were at a loss for words. "My apologies my name is Lorenzo." He quickly said when he noticed I didn't say anything.
"I guess one date wouldn't hurt," you said.
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powerpuffobsession · 3 days ago
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First time writing an essay about Helluva Boss. Episode 2.10, Ghostfuckers
So, episode 2.10...
I have a lot to say about it considering all the previous episodes. First of all, I'm glad that the senior man managed to punch Millie through a wall. She deserved that for all the innocent humans she, Blitzo and her husband murdered in episode 1.3 (I remind you that this is a cartoon about imps who are serial murders, and DHORKS are not the villains but rather just looking for revenge, uguuu U_U)
I'm just disappointed that Blitzo didn't get punched (because he's a traumatized uwu baby in this one and that would break him in half, I guess)
Now, let's get to it, to the bad and a bit of good
Animators and voice actors are still killing it, they are the ones single-handedly saving this show (had it not looked so pretty compared to Family guy or RiIck and Morty, I'd never even given it the light of day with its writing, because my eyes would just bleed and I'd close the tab. I'm a sucker for beautiful animesque designs, what can I say)
The fighting scenes are much more fluid now, my head doesn't hurt from watching them too
But the writing... The best way to describe this is "Uncanny Valley"
Because Brandon Rogers basically made fanfic inside fanfic. The whole show is already full of loopholes, strange turnarounds and retcons, etc. And Ghostfuckers looks like a stand-off fantasy that first goes on about some fanon version of Millie Brandon would like to see if he was the one who came up with the idea of Helluva boss... And then it switches abruptly to canon Millie, because we have to remember that this is still an episode of Vivziepop's show
This is what we get when Vivziepop is too grossed out by having to develop her female character and dumps it wholly on another writer (for the second time in a row already)
The switch between that cold-blooded and unfriendly Millie and the current awkward happy-go-lucky Millie is just too unnatural. I don't see any hints in the previous episodes about her being such a stock "cool gurl" in the past. It feels like yet another idea that was mashed into the show out of nowhere with no planning (like Stolas and Blitzo meeting as kids or Stolas being a helpless soy-bean victim)
I hate how the show tries to go in the direction of posing Blitzo as a local savior-wannabe who supposedly made the lives of Moxxie and Millie better.
No, he didn't....
I have eyes and ears. I saw how he humiliated Moxxie and made fun of him, he made threats to him and Millie, stalked them outside of work and he still refuses to stop doing that, he DOESN'T EVEN PAY THEM, INSTEAD WASTING ALL THE MONEY ON RANDOM STUFF AND SHAMELESSLY TELLS THEM ABOUT IT DIRECTLY (especially in episode 2.10, do you know what it means not to be paid for a MONTH when you are depending on yourself and not living off your parents money, like Millie and Moxxie?)
In real life, Blitzo would have been told to go fuck himself and all his workers would have left him a long time ago. But in vivziepop's verse Blitzo is apparently the only employer in Wrath ring, I dunno...
I feel like Millie comforted and thanked Blitzo out of pity just so he would stop whining. I remember how she didn't show up to help him escape from the humans in the last short (Moxxie wasn't captured that time unlike in 1.6 episode, so she was unbothered). I tell you, the gurl is hiding her true disdain for Blitzo, since he's her boss. I know two-faced when I see one (and I don't blame her at all)
However, with what condition Blitzo is in in this episode, I have quite a few nasty words to say about Stolas
This is the second or third or maybe even fourth time we've heard how Blitzo ruins the lives of everyone in hell (literally, he gets a whole ass party dedicated to how bad he is, thrown by almost half of hell - writing overkill much?), how he should change, etc... My question is, when will the same be said to Stolas?
Stolas performed the same disgusting scheme a lot of toxic partners have always been using: he tamed Blitzo, he made Blitzo feel like he (Stolas) is important and irreplaceable, Stolas pretended to be kind to Blitzo (when in reality all he wanted from the imp was sex, otherwise he would have requested something else in exchange for the book, it was not that hard to do you know)... And then Stolas got all offended completely out of the blue (just because Blitzo hesitated before accepting his gift, seriously?) and ditched Blitzo while sincerely partaking in an insulting song dedicated to Blitzo at the "Fuck you Blitzo party)...
That bird bitch knows exactly what he's doing. He knew Blitzo would get used to the idea that Stolas only wants sex and doubt Stolas' attempt at selflessness (with the Asmodeus' crystal). Stolas can't be so clueless if he's 30-something years old, I can't stand how Vivziepop infantilizes her characters right at the times when they should realize their wrongdoings and self-improve
If Stolas is not going to understand the damage he did to Blitzo and apologize to him, AND if they are going to still be the end game after all... That'd be a pure romanticization of Stockholm syndrome
You can't have Blitzo as this scapegoat who is somewhat held responsible for his actions (he is at least feeling guilty sometimes and trying to do.... something??? to fix things) and then show someone who's emotionally abusing him as this innocent suffering being. I hate black-and-white writing where the author is playing favourites when it comes to conflicts between characters
Now the small things:
Moxxie wears a bra apparently. Transmale Moxxie headcanon confirmed? (I know his horns are black and white, but he could have dyed them)
I find it funny how the characters keep conversing smugly while fighting and jumping all over the place. Can you stop for one minute and breathe? You're all gonna end up with pink eye one day I swear
The fight scenes are still a repetitive mass of random noise and movement. And that's why in my opinion they last for longer than they should. Helluva Boss is trying to be Samurai Jack with its suspense and various styles/pacing of action, but fails
I loved the scene where Blitzo was tortured by the hallucinations of his past. Helluva boss does a decent job at creepy stuff for a stupid comedy-drama cartoon. The scene where a fantom of his mother shows up and burns in his arms is especially cinematically strong. Blitzo really got stabbed where it hurt the most
Blitzo is more vulnerable than Millie in this episode in general. His past is screwed up big time for a lot of reasons, so he's got a lot of trauma buttons one can push to easily drive Blitzo into a helpless snotty-teary state. Millie, in contrast, is living her best life in hellish terms - she's got loving parents, strong body and personality, no guilt on her shoulders, literally nothing to be ashamed or guilty of. The villain tries to tell her that she's miserable, and she's just laughing in his face because she KNOWS it's not so. That's why Millie keeps protecting Blitzo in 2.10 episode. It's an interesting chemistry and I'm glad it got explored
Though I still don't get how Millie meeting her husband is Blitzo's merit. Not like he actively helped them get together, to of the goodness of his heart too, I sincerely doubt it, given how egoistical, abusive and immature Blitzo is
I hate how Blitzo keeps talking about sex only at some times. It's like a psychosis or something. "Adult cartoon should feature sex talk, because that's how it happens in real life, grow up". In real life anyone would get dirty looks if they spoke in "sex fuck FUCK SEX FUCKING FUCK I want to get it up my ass I WANT SEX" only at the most inappropriate times, so piss off, it's cringe. I get it how Vivziepop and her crew find the mere word "sex" funny, as well as swear words (someone did not grow out of their middle school phase), but can we have other jokes please? The "read the chains" one was kinda funny as well as the high five scene from the 1.3 episode. I want more comedy stuff like that, though it takes effort to come up with that
Speaking of which, I hated the part where a disfigured person who can't even blink is made fun of. Especially how Blitzo and Millie demonstratively express disgust upon seeing her. Unhealthy people are not a joke!
The villain was bland. He's basically just a tool to make Millie and Blitzo get character development. No charisma, no memorable lines or scenes (his transformation to his true form was sort of spicy but lacked something still), no clear motivation. He didn't pass the sexy tumblrman test, I have no memories of him
No s*icidal Millie in this episode. I'm glad about that because that conflict just doesn't suit her (I also think that her reflections about feeling unimportant in 2.5 episode were bullshit, she has no reason for that). If anything it would have been logical to give Moxxie the s*icidal tendencies and the problem of feeling unimportant - he's weak, sensitive, gets mocked and bullied a lot, has a troublesome and dark past with an abusive father.... It'll be a missed potential if until the very end his suffering is going to be taken as just a joke instead of being explored as a serious issue (though we all know vivziepop is going to leave it as that)
Thankfully Luna didn't murder Moxxie at his most neurotic and vulnerable state and didn't ignore his attempt at burning himself with all the papers (I get you, man... Paperwork sucks majorly sometimes). She even gave him an ice cream! When Millie asked Luna to watch over Moxxie, I actually was worried she and Blitzo would return to see Moxxie dismembered and pissed at all over or something. Because this is the same Luna who abused Blitzo (someone who literally allows her to live carefree at his expense), and bullies Moxxie on a daily basis... Blitzo didn't even die when making her do the unnecessary work of burning the owl taxidermy. Is she on antidepressants or something in this episode?
I rate this episode as 7/10
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kyaruun · 2 years ago
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i can't wait to be done with my degree and take a gap year just to sleep and get back the sense of owning my life <3
i keep jumping from doctor to doctor bc i have a nice collection of health issues and managing to keep that together with uni is SO exhausting bc i will push back important appointments so i don't miss classes,, i've been pushing back getting my eyes checked since december and the migraines have grown insane TT
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deadtiredghost · 4 months ago
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Raphael "why would ppl steal? We don't have any money and we get along fine" Hamato definately would leech off of Donnie's Netflix acc, don't even @ me.
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mishkakagehishka · 1 month ago
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I'm honestly fully ready to just call my bank and tell them to do a chargeback but i'm giving the college bureaucracy a chance first. But as i said. I don't care who does it and how i get it, those €80 are gonna be back in my bank account by the end of october or so help me
#i didn't even tell youse about the fun i had at the student office#i got there i asked the guy at the counter what's happening with my enrolment process bc it has been on ''process has started'' for a week#and then some. this guy tells me they're testing a bot or whatever that automatically ''starts'' the process when the payment has been#received. so i'm like okay wtf. he goes to check my request manually but i notice he's looking at the one with a page of text#and that's my second request where i explained i want my money back so i go hey hey hey that's actually my refund request#this man goes and asks why i enrolled if i hadn't had all my exam grades marked yet#i look this man in the eye and say ''i wanted to ensure i'd be enrolled on time'' and he goes quiet#because i'm assuming he realised i tried to enrol the very day enrolments opened and here i was two days before they closed in the#student office asking wtf was happening to my enrolment process#so anyway. he goes and tells me i need to cancel my enrolment and enrol again and that he'll forward my refund request but can't#guarantee anything. and i'm like sure fine but now my scholarship page says i don't have to pay anything#so like whatever decision you lot make my bank is gonna know i made a payment i didn't have to make#and that if you refuse to refund me i'm getting a chargeback. so you know.#in any case i did all i could to make sure i was enrolled on time and still had to be on edge bc i had to restart the process two days#before the enrolment period ended. i deserve those €80 and then some
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burningfaith · 2 months ago
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next month me and my grandma are going to visit my godfather who lives in Spain, but instead of being excited (it's gonna be my second time abroad in my life) I'm anxious af, because even though I'm an adult I live with my parents and I need to tell my father about it. normal parents would - y'know - be happy that their children have opportunity to visit another country, but instead he's gonna be insufferable about it, because it's my mom's side of family and he despises my uncle. but what is he gonna do? kick me out of the house even though he promised that as long as I'm studying or working I don't need to worry about such thing, humiliate me as usual, tell me that I'm childish and spoiled or make my mom's life a living hell again? I'm aware of the fact that the longer I'm putting it off the worse his reaction is gonna be, but I'm just not mentally able to tell him that, because I don't know how he will react. I don't need any money from him, I don't have to use my phone during this trip (I dunno how the roaming and stuff work), I just want to be sure he's gonna behave like a proper human being towards my mom and my siblings when I won't be at home and not act like a total asshole while talking with me about it.
#i know that at my age i should be more mature and handle such situations better but as long as he's the way he is it's impossible#why can't both my parents be normal#and the fact that i wasn't able to get any summer job this year isn't making it any better because i know it's gonna be one of his argument#(czaicie to że nawet do żabki mnie nie chcieli. dosłownie emotional i brain damage)#'you didn't work so from where do you get the money for that'#don't worry definitely not from you because you can't even pay for my monthly train ticket to college#and at the same time have the audacity to call me dumb for commuting there instead of living in that city#while knowing that neither me nor mom can afford renting anything without your help#(okay i'm a bit exaggerating in my mom's case but she earns much less than him and he still makes problems with literally anything#even buying food even though he's in a very good financial situation and there are times when my mom has to make everything work all alone#because he's getting mad at her out of nowhere and only pays the bills that fortunately aren't that bad in our case)#(and unfortunately the bills include my telephone subscribtion because all of our numbers are in some kind of special offer where you pay#much less for one number when they're registered for one person so it's another problem in this situation because when i offered paying for#mine he refused and probably it'll be his another argument for becoming mad that i dare to spend time with the part of family that cares#about me unlike majority of his relatives)#i hope that at least when academic year starts i'll be able to get any part-time job on the weekends so i can save up more money#although i'm not sure if i'm gonna move out in the nearest future. i mean he's fucking insufferable and toxic but i just can't leave my mom#and especially siblings there even though i can't even fucking protect them from literally anything. at this point i'm just powerless.#there are times when he tries to change for the better but then he starts creating problems on purpose and everything is coming full circle#and the sole thought that my little siblings would tell me that i just ran away from this problem is fucking killing me.#niedziela wieczór i humor niegituwa. zawsze kurwa kurwa coś.#chuj idę słuchać myslovitz#pau.txt
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intcrastra · 1 month ago
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I crack ship Boothill and Aventurine bc I get a laugh outta Churin constantly sending BH credits via special means to avoid detection with the cringiest gooiest sappiest messages known to man to throw anybody off
And then it gets serious
#Churin (anonymous): Get yourself smth nice babygirl (sent 1000000 credits)#BH: I’m gonna get that muddle-fudger next time I see him-#✮┆ ( .ooc. );#//Churin just keeps sending money on a whim to support his little hitman’s IPC clowning#//BH is grateful but keeps thinking there’s a catch—ofc there is; Churin wants a friend!#//I love it getting to the point where BH goes Fudge this and actively starts demanding for more monies#//Hey; might as well drain the IPC’s funds while he’s getting this#//Churin anonymously pays for all his bar tabs; all his repairs and upgrades: bro feels so happy to take care of sb#//Doesnt even bat an eye; he just gets so happy to be made use of#//BH ironically calling Churin the Wifey/hubby/spouse at home if asked abt his funds#//Churin NEVER lets him live it down when he accidentally hears it over call#//But then gets all flustered when BH decides to play along and refer to him as such going forward#//If asked abt his spending; Churin might say it’s for a pet project of his or for his lil kitty cakes#//BH threatens to get his ass if Churin EVER refers to him as ‘kitten’ when he hears—Churin proceeds to use &make that his contact name lol#//Do like the idea of BH offering to pay him back and Churin refusing until he finally concedes and says BH has GOT to collect smth from#everywhere he goes and leave it somewhere for Churin to pick up. so he can have mementos#//BH at first getting anything then eventually tailoring it to what Churin likes after getting to know him some#//Churin keeps every single one and takes special care of each and every little gift#//Oh no#//I don’t think this is crack ship to me anymore ncndn
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atopvisenyashill · 1 year ago
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if i did a reread of the walking dead and wrote an essay on how aegon ii and carl are doomed to be the last man standing by their narratives, and what starts out as a sort of cool & nifty super power of always surviving turns into this horrific curse where everyone they know is dying around them & sometimes it’s their fault & sometimes it’s not but either way they can’t ever stop it until they’re sitting at the ending with nothing but their lone daughter to protect but so broken they can no longer connect to her and then their story abruptly ends-
would that be like the Most stupid, nerdy thing i have ever done in my life or
#valyrianscrolls#aegon the usurper#carl grimes#i associate the phrase ‘last man standing’ so heavily with carl that i used it to describe aegon and my brain short circuited#also…something something ‘if we forgive our fathers what else is left’ and ‘you can never escape your mothers blood’#re: carl’s life going so badly bc of his father’s vicious & world destroying love. and viserys destroying aegon’s life bc of his own lack of#love for aegon. completely accident. neither viserys or rick set out to create a worse world and yet.#and lori and alicent standing like ghosts over their babies. what do you do when your mother’s misery in her marriage is the reason your#life went off the rails. how do you hate her for it yet how do you love her.#rick ultimately dying at the hands of one of his victims. viserys rotting to deal surrounding by the children he emotionally abandoned.#THERES SOMETHING HERE#ROBERT KIRKMAN I KNOW YOU WERE AT CONS WITH GEORGE DID U EVER HANG OUT A BIT. YOU BOTH LOVE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE STORIES#AND HATE HOW PUSHY YOUR FANBASE IS AJSJDJ#getting on my soap box#this is comics carl obviously show carl is also my child and last man standing it’s just that they didn’t want to pay chandler riggs money#and killed him off. in my mind show carl outlives rick & michonne & judith & rj. just carl & maggie on opposite sides of the coast#alone with their grief and refusing to speak bc they no longer have the words.#carl’s daughter asks why her name is mj and carl’s grief chokes the words
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lunar-fey · 3 months ago
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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.
but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)
LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!
#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this#like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job#“hi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forum”#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you 🥰#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like “well you gotta get your insurance now so you#can get on the right meds“ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will#and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work#and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response#and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY#PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack#of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance#his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me#and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#“being on too many medications killed my grandma”#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.
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slowlyfoggydestiny · 4 months ago
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Five fucking hours on the hairdressers and I have spots almost white because they didn’t put enough color or good enough distributed and just found a hug ass patch where he didn’t do anything like no color nothing and is just fucking there
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cuntwrap--supreme · 7 months ago
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I don't think my pothead neighbor actually knows how to smoke weed. He's out on his porch with a blunt and is straight up hacking his lungs up. He sounds like he's severely ill. But nope. This is just the morning routine. Wake up and inhale that pot smoke in, apparently, the most painful way, tears in his eyes, SoundCloud rap in his (and everyone else's because goddamn does this guy not understand he lives in an apartment) ears, hope in his heart. Or something.
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scringee · 7 months ago
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This is the only way to express how I'm feeling
#i try not to talk about my home life on here but im honestly so fucking frustrated that if i dont get this out i might just kill someone#my family car broke down in January of this year#my father refuses to get a new one because he thinks hes saving so mucj more money and he doesnt feel like he has any incentive#acting as if he was giving us free trips#i would literally pay him 100 dollars a fucking week to help take me in and out of work#and he just doesnt like acknowledge that at all#so now im having to take ubers to and from work every day. each trip is like 20+ dollars so that 40+ dollars a day five days a week#im averaging spending 200 dollars a week jusy to get into work#and i work a minimum wage shitty fucking job so all of my paycheck goes straight into ubers and fucking therapy every week#ive had to skip so many sessions becaause theyre all 50 dollars after insurance#and im just so frustrated#i want to move out so bad but how can i save enough if im constantly hemorrhaging cash#the only reason hes saving money is because he fucking works from home#i just dont know what to do at this point i feel so helpless#becayse even if hou casually bring it up my dad immediately assumes youre ATTACKING him and how DARE you and im tited im so fucking tired#how am i meant to move out in these conditions#how am i meant to do anything#i have no fucking social life because i literally just cant afford it im going to cry#i hate him. i hate my dad so fucking much#vent#ig.#scringee mouth
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generationa1trauma · 5 months ago
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flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable
#sorry i only ever come here to rant its bc im losing all my interests / passions and always need someone to talk to but have no friends 🤪#negative cw#thats a lie partially in that i am emotionally incapable of talking ab it i just. i have no people i have no outlet#but tumblr hasnt been doing it for me lately. im not sure if jts#its the mental illness or if its just being full time employed leaves me so burned out that i can barely function#so hobbies just become non existent#doesnt really matter either way tho bc i can barely pay my bills on full time wages theres nothing i can do to fix things#time off or less hours isnt an option and i sont have the money to get anything diagnosed#i think i need. a lot of support ive been kinda rawdogging life for 26 years but ill be honest gang its starting to really impact everything#i do not. feel like i am a fully functioning human. i am not capable of being a functional adult in society#but its also like. i have to be#my parents dont really believe in mental health stuff or autism or anything and certainly wouldnt believe if i tried to say i was disabled#its just like. no one ever believes me ab that kinda stuff and i dont have the money to get it diagnosed#and without a diagnosis theres not much that can be done but also even with a diagnosis theres nothing#government disability allowance is $78 a week maximum and only covers specifically medical costs for that disability#like i genuinely feel on the verge of a breakdown so bad that i would need a care person#but alas. thats just literally never a possibility for me#i dont have money and i dont come from money and i will be forced to work full time through breakdowns until i die#there is nothing that can be done to help me or fix me#and that just. it sucks#anyway#hope this girl is nice bc my cat refuses to be in my room and its giving me anxiety bc what if hes scared of her and runs away#2 much going on in my head but i can not stop it so here we are#sorry y'all r my rant place#i have been thinking ab trying to step away from the internet a bit but its also.#not really a thing i can do bc everything costs money these days#social clubs r barely existent and the ones there are cost a shittone#I'd just. I'd like to be in a better place. I just don't know how to get there
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stellardeer · 10 months ago
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i have to come to terms with the fact that I am actually well off for someone in this country now, like.. idk it's weird
i'm still living the exact same lifestyle that i was before, so for the most part it feels almost like nothing has changed, like maybe im spending a little bit more money on food and buying the "good" toilet paper, but all that does is allow me to actually have savings in my bank account
i still stand with the working class and impoverished people of this country, and I am very much still in the boat of "one [very] bad day from homelessness" so i am not taking this for granted whatsoever
i've just been watching some of those youtube channels where they interview random people all over the country and just like.. kinda show what their life is like and it's definitely putting mine in perspective
very very grateful for the opportunities i have had and very proud of myself for forcing myself to stay in college (even tho it took almost 10 years to finish and left me with a mountain of debt) and just like.. idk, i feel like i could be doing more to help people out, i can't wait til im out of debt ;o;
#like idk it makes me feel a little bad sometime that im able to live comfortably while others arent#fuck i mean i got one of my friends living on my fucking couch rn i have a daily reminder of the inequality in this country#cause he doesnt have any qualifications to get a good enough job to fucking LIVE in this city#he's been trying to find a place to live but everywhere wants you to be making 3x the rent#and there's not a fucking job in this town that will pay you that much...#it's college town most people here are not even paying their own rent their well-off parents are paying it#ive never even fucking paid rent here i was living off the good fucking graces of my friends and my partner for like 7 years#and im still not paying rent i live in a trailer park and i own the trailer it's a shitty 2bd that i've had to pay to fix multiple times#but the fact that i can even afford to do that now is INSANE TO ME#I OWN A BUILDING WTF#i mean i do pay lot rent but it's only $300/mo#but rent prices here keep going up and up and up and i feel bad for my friend cause i dont know wtf he's supposed to do#i'm not charging him anything to live here so he's saved up a bunch of money but no matter how much he has the apartment places dont care#cause he wont have that money once he has to spend it all on bills and then his paychecks wont be able to cover living costs...#and i love him but he's just a little bit stupid and like.. doesn't seem to comprehend that he cannot afford a place that's $900 :'D#like he thinks that because he makes $1500 a month that he can spend $900 of that on rent like buddy NOO#what about FOOD? and OTHER BILLS? that's JUST rent dude what about lights and water????#but also idk i dont feel THAT bad for him cause he could always just move back in with his mom or live with a roommate but he fcking refuse#anyway this got off on a tangent the point is once im out of debt im donating all my fucking money
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ask-mrxmts · 1 year ago
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//uhHh gunna go on a small hiatus due to not having internet+other (ill expln in the tags c/tw vent/rambling)
#// i owe like 300+ for my internet ($200+ to reactivate) reason i havent been able to pay it was due to paying rent/bills/groceries/gas#and medication(for my partner) and weve applied to a better job but we need funds to pay for the livescan to continue/finalize the hiring#process but sadly we wont be able to pay rent this month due to some circum's sothats sm ;u;#and aside from all that both of us going thru heavy depression and mental fog#we want to hang out w irl friends but feel like we cant cuz were always broke (our friends still live w their parents/have a safety net) an#we feellike a buzz kill cuz we cant pay for our own meals or afford to go out in general just feeling left out causing us to be depressed#and not wanting to go out/be invited out#we had one friend lecture us abt money when its like dude you&gf pay $200 in rent to ur parents; we live together(w my retired/disabled MIL#and we pay rent household bills groceries gas car stuff medication we get paid bi weekly so like first/ending monthweek checks are for rent#and the mid week check we have to save accordingly for rent but were cured w the pharaohs curse cuz whenever#we have money that we plan to get alil smth for ourselves something goes wrong w the car#like we cant do shit and honestly it feels like someones praying on our downfall or smth cuz its every fkn time we cant catch a break#so yeaa gunna go on hiatus dunno how long tho but wont be too long but i will still be drawing so maybe expect some art dumps#ily guys thank you for putting up w me i dont ghost on purpose im just always depressed and need to be distracted or else the urges comebac#trying to be okay but its hard but i need to grow up#//i have my parents but theyre going to financial hardships too so they cant help and my sisters cant help cuz older sis started a family#amd my twin sis lives w my parents#my mom started working but hadda stop due to having a grapefruit sized tumor on her ovary (which is the other main reason4 my depression#and dad could care less abt my moms condtion (hes the reason for her suffering but ahe refuses to leave him#vent post#sorry went off on a tangent#but istg if i lose my mom im going to fkn hurt him cuz i already lost my dad (my FIL) and i will not be able to mentally recover#like i was there when we got the phone call (couldnt be at the hosptial due to covid reg.) i dont ever want to go thru that heartache again#edit if youd like to help me out i have comms open and i have a cshpp if ur feeling generous ;; $altereghost
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