#so happy that she ended up choosing him!!!!

[emeraldserenade]

As a request, Reader finds out she’s expecting a baby with Joaquin but is scared to tell him. She hides the pregnancy from everyone but his sister until something happens that can’t keep it hidden anymore (angsty but ultimately happy)

Only if you’re comfortable with writing it 🩷

Baby Baby ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: You hide your pregnancy from Joaquín

tw: fem!reader, morning sickness, reader has longer hair, abortion is mentioned (not considered), bombing, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

This was a nice challenge to write, I've never been around someone pregnant before (or at least at a time I can remember) so I only know what I've learned from school, movies, and some articles I've read.

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You knew Joaquín had a breeding kink but as you stared at the word, pregnant, you were washed with a sudden fear. You weren't sure if Joaquín saying those things were true or his aroused brain speaking. You shoved the test back in it's box and the box into your bag, you would hide everything.

You called Joaquín to tell him you were headed out for some errands and probably wouldn't be home when he got home. You had to lie to lie to him, you could't bring yourself to tell him, not yet. You ended up at his sister's house, she moved to DC not long ago and you had become very close.

"Y/n, I wasn't expecting you," Cassandra let you in right away. You didn't say anything, you just made your way to her couch and sat down. "Is everything ok? Do I need to talk to Joaquín?"

"No!" You rushed out and reached into your bag. "I'm," you couldn't bring yourself to say it, you just handed her the test.

"Oh my," she gasped but stopped when she saw your face. "You aren't happy?"

"I am, I am," you clarified. "It's just, Joaquín and I haven't actually talked about having kids. What if Joaquín doesn't want this baby or isn't ready?"

"Oh," she breathed out. "I want to help but I actually don't know what Joaquín's stance on kids is," she told you and you solemnly nodded.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You threw the box away at Cassandra's house but kept the test in your purse. You had the morning sickness since before you took the test, it's why you took it. You had been lucky enough that Joaquín has been at work or stayed asleep every time you threw up. Joaquín caught you this time though, he woke up at a particularly loud retch.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Joaquín held your hair back for you.

"I think I ate something that didn't agree with me," you lied smoothly, having this lie planned out for weeks.

"Do you think it was the food from the truck yesterday?"

"Could be," you retched at the end of your sentence but nothing more happened. You blindly reached for the bottle of perfume that you could smell, you felt that it was plastic and threw it out the bathroom. Joaquín said nothing and you were glad, you didn't have a lie for that one.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

Joaquín started to suspect you being pregnant, you were wearing bagger clothes and turned down all his advancements. You kept throwing up in the morning and you were more sensitive to smells. Joaquín didn't want to say anything, he believed that you would tell him if you were.

You, on the other hand, cried almost everyday at the fact that you were going through it alone by your own doing. You were absolutely terrified about what Joaquín would say, especially since you were past the point of abortion. You took away Joaquín's choice to choose if he wanted the kid and you felt horrible. You didn't want to baby trap him, but you wanted your baby. Even if that meant you lost Joaquín fully.

Cassandra had been going to all your prenatal appointments with you, holding your hand and taking photos and videos for when Joaquín does know. It was another thing you felt horrible about, if he did want your child, he wouldn't be there for all of this.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

Sam and Joaquín were at work when the phone rang and a security guard came rushing. "I'm sorry, but you should really look at the news," he rushed out before leaving. Sam and Joaquín turned on the TV and both rushed to grab their suits.

"The downtown plaza today was the target of the newest supervillain. The unnamed villain placed a bomb that went off at noon, there has been at least three confirmed casualties and twelve injured," the news anchor spoke. Joaquín's personal phone went off as he waited for Sam to finish.

"Joaquín, y/n and I were at the plaza. I'm ok but y/n, she's in the hospital," Cassandra told him and Joaquín's heart stopped.

"What? How bad is it?" Joaquín questioned and Sam looked over.

"I don't know, they won't tell me since I'm not family," Cassandra rushed out, the sounds of the hospital could be heard in the back.

"Joaquín, go, I'll go handle this myself," Sam put together what happened.

"Ok," Joaquín nodded at Sam. "I'll be right there," Joaquín told Cassandra.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You were in the room alone, Joaquín was out in the hallway with a doctor. Your heart rate picked up and alerted both of them, they came running in to sooth you.

"Y/n, you were in an accident," the doctor told you. "You luckily didn't get any to severe injuries," he looked down at the chart in his hand. "And your baby girl is perfectly ok, a healthy nineteen week baby," he told you and you sobbed.

"It's a girl?" You questioned, hands landing on your stomach. It was definitely bigger than it was before.

"Did I just ruin a gender reveal?"

"No, I haven't had my gender appointment yet," you assured him and he nodded before leaving. You refused to look at Joaquín yet, you were sure he was mad at you.

"Angel," Joaquín called for your attention. "Please look at me, I'm not mad," he assured you and you finally looked over at him.

"I'm sorry," you sobbed as you looked over at him. "I was worried you wouldn't want her and I didn't want to lose you. Then it became too late and Cassandra kept telling me to tell you but I'm just so scared. I am so sorry," you sobbed even harder as you spoke.

"Sweetheart, I'm not mad. I'm a little disappointed that I missed everything so far," Joaquín gently ran his thumbs over your cheeks as he spoke.

"Cassandra has lot of videos and photos," you informed him. "You're happy?"

"I am more than happy," he assured you, kissing your forehead.

"Then when we get out of here, will you stand behind me and hold my stomach up?" You tried to make a joke to stop crying.

"I'll do anything you want and more," he kissed your forehead again.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Hi, you must be the father, Joaquín. Y/n here talks about you every time," your prenatal doctor, Jenny, shook Joaquín's hand.

"Hi, I am," Joaquín affirmed and took the seat next to you.

"Well, let's find out what your baby's gender is," she smiled and you grimaced slightly.

"We already know," you broke the fact to her. "I was in the plaza bombing, the doctor at the hospital said that she was fine," you said.

"Well then, let's take a look at your baby girl," Jenny took her seat and you took Joaquín's hand. You smiled when he kissed your knuckles, you finally felt better about this whole thing.

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Masterlist | Requests

[stevenquartzcutiepieuniverse]

this wasn't supposed to happen

[ID / Pink Diamond is cradling a young adult Steven Universe. Steven is extremely pale and visibly exhausted with his face contorted in pain, tears welling in his eyes. Pink Diamond has her lips pressed to Steven's forehead in a kiss. She is also crying and visibly upset, devastated by her being back due to Steven's gem being separated from him. / End ID]

[katsbakugou]

𝑬𝒙𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔

⋆☆　 timeskip!suna rintarou x chubby!reader

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆　warning : fat shaming , insecurities , arguments , angst / no happy ending , etc. ( let me know if I missed anything else!! )

•❣•୨୧　wc : 3.4k

-ˋˏ authors note : Greetings! I’m excited to share this story with you. It’s been sitting in my drafts for a while, and today felt like the perfect time to finish it. I truly hope you enjoy it. Please remember that any insults or harsh words within the story are purely fictional and not meant to be taken personally. You are valued and loved by those who care about you. If ever you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Your thoughts and feedback mean a lot, so feel free to share whether you liked it or not. Thank you for reading! 🤍

Suna Rintarou had been coming home later and later. At first, Y/n told herself it was just work—overtime, maybe the pressure getting to him. But days stretched into weeks, and the pattern never changed. He stopped calling when he’d be late. Stopped explaining.

When he did come home, he moved through the apartment like a stranger—brief words, empty excuses, no warmth. The shift was slow, like a cold draft slipping in under the door—subtle, but inescapable. It began with a tightening in her throat every time the lock clicked late at night, then settled into her chest, her limbs, until everything felt heavier when he walked past her without so much as a glance. What hurt most wasn’t the silence. It wasn’t even the distance. It was not knowing. No argument. No unraveling moment. Just a quiet change in the way he looked at her—until he didn’t look at all. She searched for answers, combed through memories for something that might explain it. But there was nothing. Just the ache of watching the man she loved became someone she no longer recognized. Still, she tried. She made the reservations, cooked his favorite meals, and scrubbed the house spotless so he wouldn’t have to lift a finger. She even packed his bento for practice, just the way he liked. But not once did he meet her halfway. Not once did he reach back with even a fraction of the love she poured out for him.

The silence had become suffocating. Y/n couldn’t take it anymore. So she spent the day gathering her thoughts, choosing her words with care—gentle ones, not meant to provoke, but to open a conversation. She wasn’t looking for a fight. She just wanted clarity. To be seen. To be heard. To tell him how much the distance had been hurting her. She made up her mind: tonight, when Suna got home, she’d speak to him. As the hour approached, she waited quietly on the couch, her nerves on edge. Her heart raced. Hands trembling in her lap. It wasn’t fear of him—it was fear of what he might say. Of what he might not. Then came the sound of keys clinking in the lock. He was home. Suna stumbled through the door, clearly exhausted, barely glancing around. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, dropping his bag carelessly onto the floor. Without a word, he made his way to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. “Welcome home, Rin,” Y/n called softly, her voice breaking the quiet. Suna flinched, startled, one hand flying to his chest as he turned to look at her. “Can we talk?” she asked, rising slowly to her feet. He didn’t answer right away—just let out a quiet hum and turned his attention back to the fridge. “If you’re looking for dinner, it’s on the stove,” she added gently. He didn’t like her calmness—it was too deliberate, too controlled. And she knew that. “I wanted to talk about the way you’ve been lately,” she continued. “We barely see each other anymore. But… let’s start with something simple—are you okay? Are you doing well?” Her voice was full of concern, genuine and soft, but edged with something deeper—hurt.

“I’m okay,” he said dryly, almost too casually. “Just been busy.” He moved toward the stove, flicking on the burner without so much as a glance in her direction. “Is that so…” Y/n murmured, her voice thin with restraint. She hesitated before continuing, “If you’ve been that busy, why didn’t you tell me? Just a text would’ve been enough.” Suna let out a sharp breath, finally turning to face her. “Damn, Y/n. Do you really need to know every little thing I do?” For a moment, she was stunned—silent beneath the weight of his words. But in that pause, she saw him clearly: the weariness etched into his features, the dullness in his eyes, the dark circles under them. This wasn’t the Suna she fell in love with. “Of course not, Rin,” she replied quickly, her voice trembling with vulnerability. “Then back off,” he snapped, his tone laced with a venom that cut deeper than he realized. Y/n felt her throat tighten, but she held her ground. “Rin, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re falling apart. I can’t keep pretending everything’s okay. I’m confused. I’m hurt. I’m trying to understand, but you’re shutting me out, and I don’t know how to fix something when I don’t even know what’s broken. I’m not asking for much, I—” She froze. Whatever strength she had crumbled the moment his next words hit. “But you are asking too much,” he interrupted coldly. “You don’t even make sense anymore. You’re being clingy and pathetic. Maybe it’s time you learned how to let go and move on. What, do I have to babysit you just so you’ll feel seen?” Each word landed like a blow—sharp, final, and merciless.

“Really?” Y/n snapped, unable to hold back any longer. The weight of her frustration pressed heavily on her chest. “You know what, Rin? I’m done babying you every damn day. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to deal with a grown-ass man who can’t even wash his own clothes or clean his damn dishes? Hell, you can’t even pick up after yourself! It’s humiliating, Rintarou. Absolutely embarrassing. She was practically shouting now, her voice echoing off the walls. “Do you even see the time and effort I put into this apartment every single day? Do you? Because I’ve never felt so alone in my life—and I live with someone who’s supposed to love me!” The neglect, the mess, the constant disappointment—it was too much. She wasn’t his mother. She didn’t sign up to raise a man. Then his voice cut through the air, sharp and cruel. “Maybe it’s because I don’t want to come home to some nagging bitch who acts like she does everything. I pay the bills, I make sure there’s food on the table so your fat ass can eat!” The words hit her like a slap. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over, unstoppable. “You’re so—God, I don’t even know where to begin,” Y/n said, voice trembling. “All I’ve ever done is be patient with you. I’ve been lonely enough to feel like I don’t even exist… and you were supposed to be the one who reminded me that I matter.” But Rintarou didn’t say a word. Didn’t even flinch. And that silence hurt more than anything he could’ve said.

“Stop being patient—it’s not getting you anywhere, is it?” Rintarou shouted, his voice thick with frustration. “You can’t even hold down a damn job. Always lounging around the house, no food ready when I get home. And I’m stuck eating leftovers while your big ass is stuffing your face with everything else. Maybe if you lost some weight, we’d actually have food left over. Ever think of that, huh?” His words came in harsh waves, each one cutting deeper than the last. He was breathing heavily, spent from the outburst, while Y/n stood frozen, unable to speak. Her lips parted, but no sound came out. She quickly wiped at her tears, as if that could hide the pain unraveling inside her. “I’m leaving,” he muttered, storming over to the door. He grabbed his keys off the hook, and the front door slammed behind him with finality. The moment the door closed, Y/n’s knees gave out. She crumpled to the floor, her sobs breaking through the silence like shattered glass.

She clutched her chest, trying to breathe through the ache, but it was no use. She couldn’t understand how easily—how casually—he had thrown her greatest insecurity in her face. Her weight had always been a sore spot, something she’d silently battled for years. But when she met Rintarou, he made her feel like she was enough. He made her believe she didn’t have to look like the women on magazine covers or social media. Now she realized it had all been a lie. He didn’t accept her. He resented her. Every piece of her that she had learned to embrace through him—he had only been tolerating. Y/n slowly picked herself up from the floor, her limbs heavy with grief. She made her way to the shared bedroom in silence. Despite everything—despite the argument and the pain still fresh in her chest—she couldn’t bring herself to turn off the hallway light. A small part of her still hoped he would come back. She shut off the rest of the lights in the apartment, one by one, then slipped into bed. That night, she cried herself to sleep. Morning came too soon. At 5 a.m.—the usual time she woke to make breakfast for Rintarou—Y/n stirred from restless sleep. As she sat up, she blinked in surprise. Rintarou was beside her.

Sometime during the night, he had returned. He lay on his side, eyes closed, his face turned toward hers. But what caught her attention was the redness around his eyes, the slight puffiness that betrayed silent tears. He had cried, too. Y/n walked out of the bedroom without a word, her face blank, her heart heavy. She made her way into the kitchen, the cold tile beneath her feet grounding her more than the silence ever could. Without thinking, she started cooking—omelets sizzling in the pan, miso soup warming on the stove, and freshly steamed rice filling the room with a soft, comforting aroma. It was a routine she knew well. Something familiar. Something that kept her hands busy while her mind tried to forget. As she was finishing up, the sound of footsteps stirred behind her. Rintarou had woken up. He stumbled into the kitchen, eyes still groggy from sleep, but as soon as he saw her, something shifted in him. Guilt. It hit hard and fast, settling deep in his chest. He stood there for a moment, just watching her.

Watching the way she moved, quiet and distant. And then the words from the night before echoed back in his head—the yelling, the insults, the way he threw her insecurities in her face like they were nothing. He remembered it all. "Good morning," she said with a forced smile, setting the last plate down on the table. Rintarou gave a small nod in response. "Are you going to eat?" he asked. She shook her head lightly. "Ah, no. I'm not hungry. I need to make your bento for practice, so don't worry." Turning away, she began preparing his lunch. As she worked quietly in the kitchen, Rintarou's voice broke the silence. "Y/n," he said. She hummed in acknowledgment, her attention still on the food. "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday," he continued. "Let me make it up to you. I'll take you out tonight—my treat. I’ll be home before five." He paused, waiting, uncertain how she'd respond.

"No need to apologize, Rin. It’s fine—I’m okay, really," she said with a gentle smile. "And sure, do you know where you're taking me?" As she added the final ingredient to his lunch, Rintarou watched her intently. He noticed how carefully she arranged the food in the bento, making sure nothing got squished or messy. "Uh... not exactly," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. "But I’ll figure it out before I get back." Y/n nodded. "Alright, here you go." She handed him the bento. "I made sure to include all your veggies. And don’t worry, there’s fruit and meat too—gotta keep those hygiene points up!" she said, giving him a playful thumbs-up. Rintarou chuckled quietly. "Anyway, hope you have a good practice," she added, turning back to the sink. "I’m going to catch a little more sleep. I’ve got an interview at ten." Later that evening, Y/n and Rintarou headed out for their date. Rintarou was anxious, preparing himself to apologize once again. Despite everything, he had marriage on his mind. He figured—why not propose to her afterward? Oh, how wrong he was.

"Hello, I have a reservation for 6:30 under the name Suna," Rintarou said to the hostess. "Suna Rintarou? Oh my!" she gasped, her eyes widening as she glanced at Y/n. "Right this way!" she added quickly, leading the couple to their table. Once seated, Y/n settled into her chair quietly, not saying a word. Rintarou tried to break the silence. "So, how was the interview?" he asked. "It went great. I got the job. I start in two weeks," she replied with a smile, her attention drifting as a small commotion caught her ear. A child nearby had started crying. Y/n watched as the flustered new mother panicked, unsure of how to calm the baby, while her husband scrambled helplessly beside her. "May I help?" Y/n offered gently. The mother let out a relieved sigh and gave a grateful nod. Y/n stood, gently picked up the baby, and began softly patting its back. Within moments, the baby's cries quieted to a calm whimper. "Thank you so much, ma'am," the mother said, her voice thick with emotion as Y/n carefully handed the now-peaceful baby back. "No worries at all," Y/n replied with a gentle smile, returning to her seat. Rintarou watched her in quiet awe. His heart swelled at the sight—how effortlessly she soothed the child, how kind and calm she remained. It was in that moment, watching her with such warmth and grace, that he felt it again—stronger than ever. He really, truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

After dinner, Y/n and Rintarou strolled hand in hand toward a nearby park, the setting sun casting a golden hue over the world around them. The air was quiet, gentle, almost sacred. As they reached a quiet clearing, Rintarou suddenly stopped, turned to face her, and dropped to one knee. Y/n froze, her breath catching in her throat as he opened a small velvet box, the ring glinting in the last rays of sunlight. "Y/n," Rintarou began, his voice trembling, "I know this probably isn’t the perfect moment… but I couldn’t keep this in any longer. I’ve felt so guilty about what I said last night. I can’t take those words back—I wish I could—but they were never meant to hurt you." He looked up at her, eyes raw and honest. "I know I’m not the perfect boyfriend. Hell, I’ve probably been a terrible one. But through it all, you stayed—you waited. You were my home. And without you, I don’t think I can ever feel whole again. So please, Y/n... will you marry me?" Y/n stood in stunned silence, the world suddenly too still. Her hands trembled as she reached for his arms, gently helping him to his feet. She brushed the grass from his knees, tears slipping quietly down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Rin," she whispered, her voice breaking, "but I can't." His eyes widened, a sharp breath escaping him, but she continued, her voice steady though her heart ached. "It's a beautiful gesture, really. But I can’t say yes—not like this. We have too much to fix, too much we’ve buried instead of facing. Marriage won’t solve that. We owe it to ourselves to grow, separately… before we even think of growing together." She cries.

"But—" he began. "There’s no ‘but’ to this, Rintarou," Y/n interrupted, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "We're not right for each other. The longer we try to force this… the more we keep avoiding the real issues. I'm exhausted, Rin. I really am. I want to marry you—part of me always has—but I need to step back." Her voice trembled, but she didn’t stop. "I can’t keep going through the same fights. I can’t keep hearing you criticize my body like it’s something that needs fixing. You knew that was my insecurity, and yet... you still made it feel like a flaw. Rintarou, we’re not kids anymore. We can’t keep pretending your immaturity doesn’t hurt me." "I'm sorry," he said quickly, desperation in his voice. "I swear I’ll change." Y/n gave a bitter smile, one filled with sadness rather than spite. "You’ve said that so many times, Rin... I think my heart's grown numb to it." She paused, swallowing hard as the weight of her words settled between them. "I’m sorry too. But I can’t carry this anymore. I need peace. I need to choose me for once. It’s time we go our separate ways." Her eyes met his—red, brimming with tears—as his mouth opened slightly, no words coming out. Then, as if the weight finally hit him, he dropped to his knees. "Wait. Y/n... please, don’t leave me," he pleaded, voice cracking. It was the first time he’d ever begged—for anything. The first time he ever begged for her.

Y/n shook her head gently, a bittersweet smile tugging at her lips. She took one last look at him before turning to walk away. "Rin… thank you," she said softly over her shoulder. "Thank you for showing me what love can feel like and for helping me realize that I’m strong enough to stand on my own. But I can’t settle for someone I love—no matter how deeply—if they refuse to truly change. Words without action don’t build a future." She paused, her voice trembling with a mix of love and sorrow. "Marriage… it was a dream. But dreams don’t survive without resolution. And we never found one—not really. We both know that." She turned slightly, enough for her eyes to meet his one last time. "So don’t beg, Rintarou. Don’t lose someone just to realize their worth. Show people differently. Grow differently. I’ll always carry love for you in my heart. I’ll always cherish what we had." A tear slipped down her cheek, "I wish you the best—with volleyball with your future. And I hope one day, you finally see the value in the effort you put in. Please, don’t sulk. Don’t let this moment be your ending. Push forward. Become better—not for me, but for yourself. You already have it in you." She smiled faintly, her voice barely a whisper now. "When you find someone new, love her with everything you couldn’t give me. Marry her. Don’t let her walk away like I am now. Don’t think of me then—because holding on will only bring you back to this place. This moment." Her final words hung in the air like a farewell lullaby.

"Thank you for being someone I loved. Truly. Goodbye, Rintarou. I hope one day, our paths cross again—when we've both grown into who we’re meant to be." And with that, she turned and walked away. Rintarou watched her, unable to move. With each blink, she drifted farther and farther until she was nothing but a fading memory against the horizon. His knees gave out, his head bowed low, and for the first time in a long time—he cried without holding back. Y/n held back her sobs as tears slipped freely down her cheeks. Her chest ached, but her feet kept moving. For once, she chose herself—over a love that never truly held her over a man who never truly saw her. There were no more excuses. No more pretending. And though it broke her, she walked away. Not because of him—but for herself. And now, as she walked away for good, each step felt like a funeral for a future that never came. A goodbye not just to him—but to the version of herself who kept believing things would change. And this time, she didn’t look back.

[rozzingit]

so i finally finished clair obscur: expedition 33 and i have SO many feels.

(many, MANY spoilers within)

when i turned 25, over a decade ago, my brother committed suicide. i talked to him on the phone earlier in the day when he wished my happy birthday. the next morning, i woke up to a voicemail from my dad telling me to call him. that it was an emergency.

to say that this specific experience had a big impact on how i experienced expedition 33 would be a vast understatement.

expedition 33 is, as countless people have found and pointed out, an exploration of grief. we see this quite directly and immediately: the culture of lumiere is one shaped entirely around the collective experience of grief. its people die younger and younger every year. children are born to parents they will never know. over the course of the game, as we collect journal after journal from past expeditions, we see despair, but we also see stubborn, desperate hope. we see entire expeditions dedicated to building one more step for the next expedition to come. we see how tragically close some of them got.

but it's also about very individual grief. it's about one family torn apart by loss, and how much damage they do because of that.

i knew as soon as i finished the game that the ending would be controversial. or divisive. something like that. because there's no true happy ending. and there's no ending where you truly get to grapple with the personhood of these people who were born within the canvas. there's no ending that respects them as individuals, as people, because the dessendres simply don't see them that way. and when you play tens of hours of a game loving these characters...that's a hard pill to swallow.

what would the happy ending be? a happy ending would be the dessendres repairing the world -- and then, most importantly, leaving it. the canvas kept safe somewhere in their world. the people within allowed to live their lives how they choose, without the threat of annihilation hanging over them. but even that isn't entirely happy. even that traps the sliver of verso's soul inside the canvas, unable to ever stop. and this ending is never even possible, because the dessendres simply can't. they don't have the capability.

so the choice the game gives you is this: let go, or kill yourself holding on. and no, it doesn't truly ever reconcile with the reality of the canvas world. it doesn't. i understand why some people are unhappy and dissatisfied. especially if you just didn't connect with the dessendres as a family, with their story and their tragedy, and if you cared far more about lune and sciel and the expeditioners -- that's going to feel like a narrative betrayal. because, in a way, it is.

but for me, playing through this story as a treatise on grief, and viewing that ending decision through the lens of grief -- let go, or kill yourself holding on -- it hit so deeply, powerfully hard. because there's no clean way to move on from grief. there's no way forward that doesn't hurt. and, most importantly, there's no way forward that doesn't involve losing more than you already lost.

you already lost the person. but to move forward, you have to let go of some of the pieces of them, as well. there's too many of them. a person's life and soul they leave behind is too large, too varied, too heavy to keep carrying with you forever. you have to let them go. you have to let some of those pieces die. to move forward is to engage in a cruel game of prioritization. what can you keep? what can you survive keeping?

maelle can't survive keeping the canvas. she can't. she won't. her ending is a horror show of keeping corpses alive. everything fine on the surface, but everything rotting underneath. the people she keeps are either aware enough to know they're prisoner, or ignorant enough not to question the world.

verso will live yet another lifetime. he'll only be free when she dies, and renoir surely, inevitably, finally destroys the canvas.

my choice was made before i even knew there would be a choice. it was made when verso steps into that final space and approaches the soul of the canvas. when he kneels down and asks that little boy if he's tired of painting. when he says he's tired, too.

watching maelle's ending after i finished the game and seeing verso beg and plead with her to let him go, to let him die -- it broke something inside of me a little bit. i never got to have that conversation with my brother. i never knew it was that bad. but i wonder if that was the conversation he had with himself, on some level.

death always has a cost to the people around us. verso's death destroys an entire world, because that's what death does. my brother's death destroyed my world, too.

it wasn't a good ending for the characters. there is no good ending for everyone. sometimes those are the choices we're left with.

but it was a good ending for the game.

[heytherecentaurs]

Gauntlet at the Garden Thoughts: (Spoilers)

All the Intrepid Heroes look incredible in Gauntlet at the Garden. Lou with his jacket. Murph with his long hair. Siobhan and her mod outfit. But goddamn Emily Axford was born to play Sofia. She rocks the tight leopard print dress and red lip to staggering degrees of hotness. Also that little wiggle she did. How dare she.

I love how Emily just added that lil bit about Dale at the end. She does this in every live show where she ties stuff up or gives it a through line or an emotional beat. She’s the heart of the intrepid heroes. Like Brennan said, she loves things so much they become real.

Brennan successfully conquered the biggest task of making an entertaining 1 shot for 6 people in a room of 20000 spectators. Truly a remarkable feat! The way he manages to juggle the storytelling, game mechanics and performance is a measure of genius of which few DMs are capable.

Everyone got their moments. Zac was a little quiet but that’s just because he does what he always does and picks his moments carefully. His awkward convo with Esther was pitch perfect.

Siobhan got to roll the big D20, which was so cool. She always brings so much energy and so much sass. Her throwing shade at the sugar plum fairy is great. Love that Misty seems to hate every other fairy.

Ally will always frame a thing in such a funny way that it becomes a running gag. Like they know the common way to describe it but by choosing the creative off kilter choice, they add to the show. They’ve really got improv technique honed to perfection.

Murph brought a perfect lil guy energy to the show. Kug is great and may be one of my favourite characters of his. I’m glad he went with Kug and not Cody. As much as I like Cody, Kug is so beloved and more grounded. It makes sense. Also he got to have his live at MSG wrestling moment. Super happy for him.

Lou had that big wrestling moment with Murph. And he got to be Kingston in New York, which must have been incredible. Kingston is one of my all-time favourite D20 PCs and seeing him at MSG in a NYC jacket was perfection.

I understand they had time restraints and it’s improv so the pacing is all over, which I’m not mad about. Everyone got a moment. Every npc got a moment. There were flames, sparklers and confetti. Animated graphics. Huge box of doom. Cool audience participation mechanic. But I could’ve watched that for 4-5 hours and been giddy about it.

[tryandbehappy]

so. let’s break down another episode and my edit (spoiler: i cried for several days, for real).

Nick and June hadn’t seen each other in so long, not since their epic bridge kiss. they missed each other like crazy, and so did we, because it had been half a season without them. we only got those little moments of June missing him so much she touches her neck (yes. it was about Nick. i knew it).

then when Luke suggested Nick might help, and June immediately started crying “he’ll do anything for me and for Nicole” i was gone. the way he just says his name and she starts crying? What ???? it wrecked me. she was trembling with how much she missed him.

the way she rides to meet him, full of anticipation. the way she closes her eyes in pure bliss when she hears his voice.

and then? they gave us art. i still don’t think any couple in tv history has ever been shot as beautifully as that window kiss. the lighting. the framing. the angles. the emotion. their faces. their breath. it was pure cinematic heaven. it’s easily one of my top kisses ever. in any media.

for the first time, Nick says “i should have run away with you” and June agrees. she says yes!!!! the tragedy of timing.

we’ve never seen Nick this broken. the way he looked at her and at their daughter, barely holding back tears, full of silent love and pain. it was unbearable. it was beautiful.

and then? “my beautiful girl” the doll!!!! the tenderness. i cannot even explain how hard i cried and at first i didn’t understand why i was crying so much. but later, in therapy (lmao I brought up Nick in therapy), i realized this episode triggered something deep. it brought up my own daddy issues. my own unresolved grief. i had locked it all away in a box, and this episode… it opened it. it broke me wide open. it made me feel things i didn’t even know were still inside me. i cried for days!!!!! Non stop 😂😭 (now I’m a better person because of it lol)

and this was also the first time he said “try and be happy” which becomes their code, their tragic love language. the phrase that means “i love you so much it hurts to even try without you.” the way June cries in the car after… the way she doesn’t choose freedom, because real freedom without him isn’t freedom at all. it’s emptiness.

and yes, we learn Nick is married but he hid it to not ruin their goodbye. and i think that was the right choice. he protected their moment. their one last moment.

and here’s another thing: June escapes to Canada. she’s finally free. but she’s not happy. she’s devastated. and that grief gave me the perfect canvas to highlight everything she’s said about love: that people don’t die from lack of sex, they die from lack of love. and in this episode, we see her coming back to life and dying again. because she loves Nick so deeply. and without that love, her life doesn’t feel whole. it gave me the chance to bring all those moments together and show what love means to her, the very core of her existence.

for the music for the edit i chose For you only by Trading Yesterday. because that song is devastating omg. it has this epic rise, and the lyrics “i am so far from home, for you only” 😭it’s perfect. it fits both of them. they’re both so far from each other, and all they want is to be together. and this video was my attempt to capture the heartbreak and longing of that truth.

i still can’t believe this episode exists. it feels like lightning in a bottle. no matter how the story ends, we had this. and i’ll never stop being grateful.

[vampiricalxdata]

“This could be a trap to get you and Nichole.”

“No, not him.”

“You’re lying to yourself.”

It’s the 2nd episode of season 6. After a seemingly impossible reunion between mother and daughter, this line stings like a slap in the face.

It’s inflammatory. It’s accusatory.

It’s also loaded as fuck.

And it stands on the back of everything the audience has seen and learned.

Holly: The Activist. The Mother.

(In that order.)

In season 2, we get to learn a bit more about Holly. We know she’s a doctor and a feminist. We know it was her connections that help Luke and June nearly escape. Now, though, we get to know what kind of mother she was.

Baggage (2x03) starts with June in the Boston Globe. She’s trying to understand Gilead, how it came to be. She remembers her mom taking her to a Take Back the Night rally and it’s an admission of admiration. For her strength and bravery and passion.

But then it’s followed by her voicing to Nick the shame she feels leaving Hannah behind. He tells her it’ll be better for everyone. (And at this point Serena is reaching her peak cruelty so he might be right.) But June rebuts. “Better never means better for everyone.” Thanks for that one Fred. And all he can do is hold her. Because they both know there is no right answer. There’s just taking the next step forward.

So June spends the rest of her escape trying to find a way to be okay with it by reflecting on her relationship with Holly. Which, evidentially, is a complicated one.

June struggles to meet the expectations of her mother. Holly fails to see the value in her daughter.

It’s not without love, though. And by the end, June recalls a happy memory. Driving with Holly down an open road, bare feet on the dashboard, Gwen Stefani playing in the background. It’s silly and happy and free.

But it does begin a reoccurring pattern for the pair. Because despite the love, they’re at constant odds.

Holly’s unimpressed by June’s publishing job. She disapproves of June’s marriage to Luke. Admonishes her for having Hannah baptized.

And we never really see June defend herself against the criticisms. Not in the kitchen, when she masks her hurt over Holly’s opinions of her job and future marriage. Not in the church, where she chooses to shush her mom rather than state her reasons for doing it.

Holly frames the choices as frivolous and passive.

“It’s time to get out in the street and fight, not play house.”

It’s an unfair assessment that ironically disregards June’s agency. But it’s also not made lightly.

And later, while talking to Moira in the red center, June concedes to Holly.

“You were right,” Moria says.

“So was she,” June admits.

It’s as close to a compromise as these two ever really get. It becomes a spark in June’s transformation.

And by the time she gets to Alaska, June’s no longer the woman she was. She’s not the woman who “played house.” She’s not the woman being led blindly from point A to point G, like in Baggage.

June’s a legend in her own right. She’s saved kids and marthas. She’s survived Serena and Fred; torture and bombs. She’s pissed off Gilead so much so that they’re sending assassins to Canada. And she has, not one, but two commanders in her pocket— Lawrence and Nick.

But Holly doesn’t know any of that. She doesn’t know how her daughter changed.

“You’re not a spy. You’re not a soldier.”

“You don’t really know what I’ve done mom.”

And that’s the moment Holly learns about Nick.

Not “Mom I’ve been psychologically tortured within an inch of my life when they made me and all the other handmaids think we were getting executed.” Not “Mom I was waterboarded.” Not “Mom, I organized getting 80+ kids out.” Not “Mom, I’m the reason those letters made it outand Nick helped.”

Because it’s too late for explanations. Their base dynamic already reared its ugly head:

The critical mother; The daughter who won’t stand up for her choices.

“Drivers are eyes.”

Yes, thanks for that information. This is definitely news. June stays silent.

“And now he’s a commander.”

June is receiving the full weight of what this implies.

“This could he a trap to get you and Nichole.”

That gets a reaction.

“No,” she laughs.

Because the idea of Nick trying to trap them? Insane. Unbelievable. The literal antithesis of everything Nick has done. I don’t even know that Bizarro World!Nick would pull that.

But instead of saying that, she’s bound to the same cyclical pattern she and Holly always end up at.

With a slight change, because this time she reverse Uno cards Holly.

“You have to show up and fight.”

“I was wrong…All you can do is survive and protect the people that you love.”

“All you can do is survive and protect the people that you love.”

Sound familiar?

The fight devolves quickly after that.

You’re fucking a n*zi.

You abandoned me.

Words meant to wound. Statements that beg for context.

Is he a fascist? Or was he just trying to survive and protect the ones he loves?

Did she abandon June? Or did she think she was leading by example?

Questions that ultimately go unanswered even at their resolution. Because June and Holly don’t bend to the other’s perspective. Because Holly doesn’t trust her daughter to make informed decisions. And June doesn’t trust her mother to hear her when she talks.

Instead, they return to territory they’re familiar with.

“No mother is ever completely a child’s idea of what a mother should be. And I suppose it works the other way round as well.” -Baggage, 2x03

Only this time, despite the struggle to accept the other’s POV (old habits die hard), they find common ground in baby Holly’s safety.

And for them, that’s enough.

For now, that’s enough.

“Raise your daughter to be a feminist. She spends all her time needing to be rescued by men.”

It’s worth noting: This is the first time June is ever confronted about Nick.

Luke would rather not bring him up at all, except when necessary for Hannah. Tuello seems to have fairly positive opinions on him, if at least an understanding of the moral ambiguity that goes with the role. And if Moira has reservations we certainly never hear it.

Up until now she’s toed a line with Nick & Luke, letting her geographic location make the choice for her. When she’s in Gileadand no man’s land, she’s with Nick. In Canada, she’s with Luke.

But season 4 ends with a definitive blurring of that line via the location of a literal one: No man’s land. An area that goes on to serve as the back drop for a number of trysts (Fred’s death) and collusions (Noah’s birth).

So, what does that mean for June?

As the series comes to a close, she stands at the precipice of her role as both revolutionary and leader.

And as all of these threads of the story come to a head in New Bethlehem, there’s a glaring problem; a defining choice she has yet to make.

A choice that at first glance appears to be purely romanticnot that there’s anything wrong if it was. A choice rooted in self actualization.

She’s not just picking a partner, she’s choosing the person she wants to be.

Luke & June: A leader. His right hand.

With Luke, she has a tendency to defer to him. To be more passive. It’s a role they’re both used to.

So when they’re reunited, they clash.

And while Luke is more or less who he was, June is far from the woman he knew.

This June is filled with so much unadulterated rage that she is sincerely incapable of containing it.

She’s strategic and fierce, and sometimes cruel. And try as she might to find her way back, Gilead is always there. Taunting her and twisting the knife.

And even when they find new ground, even when Serena gets to Luke and they march off into no man’s land, he’s still trying to lead June.

They dance and sing in the abandoned bowling alley, despite her protest. When they get caught by dollar store Fred, there’s no strategizing how to get out. And rather than listen to June about how to act, he ignores her.

Then when he decides to join Mayday, it’s not hand in hand with June.

“It’s my turn to fight for Hannah.”

Not, let’s do it together. Not, we’re partners in this.

Luke is angry. He intends to be a leader. He intends to be impressive and useful.

It’s admirable.

But he’s as naive as he was the day Zoe stopped him in season 1. And June —the new June— doesn’t soften blows. She tells him he doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Just like Zoe did.

And this dynamic only serves to pull them apart.

Because for June and Luke, the relationship they had has fossilized. Their connecting factor is Hannah. And as important as it is, it can’t save them when they’ve become so different.

If they can’t move forward together, what is it they gain from preservation?

Nick & June: A partnership. A team.

Which brings us to Nick.

The fascist commander of Gilead.

The soldier prodigy who couldn’t keep a job.

The emotional mess who couldn’t get through a temp agency interview without it getting physical but was even tempered enough to be a key player in the destruction of one country and construction of another.

The driver so astute and so important to the cause he wasn’t issued a woman in the three years Gilead existed.

A man so dedicated to Gilead he risked his life to get his girlfriend and baby out (2x) because he knows it’s not a good place?

A man who lives in so much grey you’d think it was a DesiLu production. *cue crickets*

In truth, the fog surrounding Nick is speculation buried in inflammatory language. So, instead we focus on what we know.

Ironically, what we know about Nick can be summed up in a single line spoken by the same woman who called him a n*zi.

“All you can do is survive and protect the people that you love.”

Because that’s what Nick does.

He did it when he fell prey to the Sons of Jacob to support his dad and brother. He did it when he went to Mayday to get June out. Twice.

And not for nothing, but when June showed up at that plane in Baggage, another driver showed up, too. Another driver who was an obvious stand in for Nick. A driver who was shot and dragged out from the plane just before they captured June.

Point to Nick, because he doesn’t just protect the people he loves, he survives while doing it. And June, is the exact same in that regard.

Whatever compromises she has to make, whatever parts of herself she has to sacrifice, is worthwhile if it means getting a step closer to Hannah.

Whatever it takes.

And Nick accepts that. Even if it means trying to free her from Gilead prison. Because his role with her was always clear. He doesn’t lie to her, doesn’t tell her what to do or how to act (except when advising her on how to be safe). He never admonishes her for leaving baby Holly with Emily. And when she pushes back at him at the Boston Globe, he gives her his gun. But he doesn’t stop her.

Because he never stops her.

Because Nick knows exactly who June is. And he may not know what crazy shit she’ll pull next but he knows she will. And he accepts it because he accepts her.

And in exchange, June has offered him purpose. A family. A reason. “More than this bullshit life.” And what a motivator it’s been.

Because as a team, June and Nick strengthen each other. Even apart, their influence is palpable.

It took Tuello 2 minutes in a room with Nick and unconscious June to see it. It took Lawrence even less.

Because together, they’re partners.

[pyraffin-drgo]

Ruffnut is under-developed and underrated

And it makes me sad :( A Ruffnut study

There is so much more to her character that COULD be that the franchise never explores. Insecurities, strengths, development, personality, or simply more comic relief. She's confident and straight-forward with what she wants/thinks and with who she is and what she does... and yet in the very few Ruff-centric eps she is very insecure about her abilities (being a wingmaiden, training Scauldy.)

A lot of her involvement in HTTYD boils down to "Haha. Girl, but ugly!" jokes. (And she's not- but that's another worm can) In the shows she's usually just the setup/yes-and to Tuffnut's punchline or just a background quip. (Or the aforementioned 'Girl Ugly' jokes.) Today, we examine deeper!

I get there's a lot of characters and limited time so not all can be equally developed, and Ruff is a designated Comedic Relief. But even then she never even gets her own jokes! Tuff has his 'beard', Chicken, Macey, and perfectly pinched salt. (And that "bo-poo!" noise he makes if you count it)

Snotlout has "snotlout snotlout oi oi oi" and the S. And getting struck by lightning... It seems all Ruff has is "haha girl ugly" and "haha girl horny" which um. Yeah

Confidence

That misogyny aside, her confidence is the main thing of her personality that stands out/is shown. She does and says what she wants, is a proud Thorston and dumbass, and pursues who she wants. Her outward unabashed horniness (idk better word) is something I've never seen in an animated female character like this! (/pos) And it can be comedic! (If it's not based on "haha girl horny but she's ugly")

HTTYD 3, when she talks about Snotlout and Fishlegs, "They're kinda my harem." said nonchalantly, had me exhale out my nose. Link to vid. Unexpected, but yass go queen make that harem. We love a woman owning her sexuality.

Caring

She cares so much about Tuffnut, acting almost like an older sister. The Lychanwing episode, she tries to stop Snotlout from suggesting symptoms knowing how it would freak Tuff out. Then, very angrily dragging Snotlout around to find the bite mark to ease his mind/get back at Snot for breaking her brother.

Then, giving up being a wingmaiden even after she bonded with Wingnutt properly, happily choosing to stay with Tuff. (very cute ending)

Also, she knows everything that will upset him, such as the word "tears" lmao and was ready to fight anyone who kept making him cry. (Plus telling off Astrid for disrespecting them, her friends, and the whole Nutt family tree)

She kept and eye on known grifter Gruffnut and antagonized him for lying to her brother.

She wanted to give up her spot in the Thorston family trial thing to Tuff, and accepted every downside to it like not marrying.

Then there was choosing to stay with Tuff again over getting married to Throk- of which she wasn't torn up over but the point stands.

And of course, she cares for dragons. She loves Barf, Scauldy, and despite yelling at Wingnutt, is sad when she gives him away after failing, and happy and nuzzling him by the end.

She's also aware of other's dragons. Tuff insults Meatlug once with "Oh great- Hiccup's in trouble and Meatlug has a whole ravine to eat." To which she rebuts "Don't say that! You know she's sensitive about her weight!" Queens defending queens.

Intelligence

Both twins are smarter than they let on, using a great vocabulary and poetic speech often. But Ruffnut more so!

She explains/clarifies things to Tuff often, like the meaning of 'rhetorical' and general goings-on.

She's aware of the situation and her friend's feelings, and knows not to make it worse, refusing to say what she thought for Hiccup's sake. Tuff mentioning how out outmatched they are against Viggo and she gets on to him for it. "You were thinking it!" Again, explaining things for Tuff.

She knew Gruffnut was a grifter from the start (from previous experiences, but Tuff was still trusting.) She knew how to call his bluff, spot his tricks, and test her suspicions of him replacing Tuff.

When captured, she came up with the plan to fake beg to steal the key, despite no one listening to her, she still went ahead and pulled it off silently, getting them out.

When captured by Viggo and questioned, she kept playing dumb and giving untrue answers. "They attack tonight! No wait tomorrow... or was it next week?"

In HTTYD3, when captured, she purposefully annoyed the hell out of the villain to get free. But then she was immediately stupid by being followed, mentioning their new island beforehand.

When the twins stumble into a dragon hunter operation, Ruff suggests they quit their quest to get Tuff's mace and go tell the others. "This is bigger than Macey." She acknowledges seriously.

Insecurities

While outwardly confident, what little we do see centered on her, she's usually afraid or insecure! In Free Scauldy she is rightfully afraid of a wild Scauldron, but she continues to be so even after it's clear it likes her. She doesn't think she can train it or maintain it's liking of her up until they get it back into the ocean, where she reaches out and pets it goodbye.

The Wingmaidens and Wingnutt. She doubted her ability to mother this dragon, directly admitting to Atali that she's unable to do it, saying "I don't have the same motherly stuff you all have" and seemed upset by it.

(Although it's true- she yells at Wingnutt very harshly so far and is not gentle.)

LOOK HOW SAD SHE GETS ABOUT IT

But she does care for Wingnutt, and is sad she failed. Is she sad she failed the dragon, or sad she's noticeably different from the other women and failed to do what was expected of her? Both?

She's also insecure about her appearance sometimes. Despite her confidence in thinking she's hot shit, it still gets to her that people give Astrid attention/compliments but never her. Or maybe the endless 'Girl Ugly' jokes get to her.

She IS aware and clearly notices how others treat her vs Astrid/other girls, noting that flattery doesn't work on her because she never gets any.

And in the art book, it seems she sees herself as lower than Astrid in desirability, as she thinks she's THE hottest only once Astrid is off the market.

She apparently holds things back in the name of being lady-like in the scene with Snotlout where the Speedstinger gets loose: "Whoops!" "Whoops?? That's all you have to say??" "There's other things I want to say but none of them are very ladylike!" despite taking pride in not bathing and happily being gross. Since when does she care about being ladylike??

I know it's just for a 'hehe we can't say bad words on a kids show' joke, but... What if not?

When discussing Heather being a dragon rider, she adds: "Maybe she's just not cut out to be a dragon rider. I myself have had my doubts." Girl?? You've thought of quitting or that you're not good enough???

Bonus: She's upset about being called clingy. No one is around to hear them banter this, so it's not for sillies. (except the audience)

Fear

In A Grim Retreat where, hunted by their own dragons, she runs over to Hiccup screaming "I'm cracking under the pressure!!!" And screams a genuine, non-silly scream as she jumps for Toothless.

Doesn't seem like much, but despite being the fearless big sister violence-is-the-answer viking that will fight everyone, she does indeed get too scared for her to handle, and is unafraid to run to others. Or maybe just Hiccup?

Mini-section: Hiccup friendship

Feeling able to run to Hiccup about being afraid and not being able to handle something is wild for her. She's never that bothered by anything. And when she is- Hiccup! Hiccup and Fishlegs were also the only ones to believe in her being a Wingmaiden. She also went to Hiccup to help her test-fly with Wingnutt. Hiccup was the only one to believe in her ability to calm Scauldy, talking her through it. He's who she came to about Gruffnut thieving and lying, getting Gruff caught. THERE'S A REALLY GOOD FRIENDSHIP DYNAMIC THERE TO EXPLORE!!!!!! But they never do!!!!!!

Fear: Lackthereof

She's badass often okay I don't want another longass section just to be gay about it. Watch this vid for a compilation of Ruffnut and all her badassery+some silly, the scene below is close to the beginning.

Introverted?

Ruff is hardly explored and usually in the background, to the side, mostly for 'too many characters' reasons, but I'm going to use that to add that she's introverted.

She's NOT shy or quiet by any means, but in RTTE she's usually reserved to herself until there's something funny to say, letting her brother take the lead in interactions. This could be more of that misogyny coming back, too. Which is likely the case but it feels bad to think about

In RTTE, the first time they are captured, they're trying to plan and she keeps trying to say it but being interrupted, (mood.) so she gives up and 'shuts down the Ruffnut idea farm', going with her plan (to get the key) behind their backs, then waiting to tell them she has it.

I'm sure there's more in the Riders/Defenders of Berk series but I haven't seen it. Feel free to add more!

E N D

Idk how to end this lmao Ruffnut = good

There's a LOT there for her!!! But we hardly get to explore any of it!!! Especially not the movies.

Use the gifs and screenshots as you please! Make your own posts about these attributes even if it's very similar to mine. You could copy and paste an entire section or elaborate on it idc just spread Ruffnut propaganda

[graveyard-galaxy]

You know I actually think Douglas Graves is more spineless than Andrew could ever be. Douglas seems to simply view himself as an extension of his wife, I do not think Andrew consistently views himself as an extension of Ashley.

This one’s interesting, because I do conceptually agree, but I also think I have a little more to say than just that.

Where Andrew and Ashley vs Douglas and Renee gets interesting to me is that Douglas isn’t necessarily portrayed as uncomfortable just doing what Renee wants in the same way that if nothing else, just the ____ in a box ending (Choosing Andy ending in episode 3) shows that Andrew is completely miserable just being Ashley’s plaything. It does get a little hard to say, because we are very deliberately shown very little of Douglas, typically, because the story is told from Andrew and Ashley’s perspectives, and he is completely absentee to both of them. (We don’t even get his portraits until we’re in a vision from Renee’s perspectives, for instance) I would say though, that whereas Andrew feels confined and consumed by being under Ashley’s thumb, Douglas seems to be comfortable under Renee’s direction, from what we see.

He won’t stand up to his abusive father, but Renee will do it for him. (They had a plan to kill his parents together, and though we have no idea how much Douglas really liked the idea of this, we know that he was perfectly prepared to go along with the plan before they discovered and decided to keep Renee’s pregnancy.) He doesn’t get the social mind games the surgeon plays with him, but Renee does, and he’s perfectly happy for her to just speak for him entirely in the opposite way to how the surgeon speaks to him for her. And even just in the car on the way to the grandparents! He tries to stammer out to the kids why they shouldn’t ruin the car, but they don’t respond, and then he’s perfectly happy to let Renee bark out the orders. (Only to Andrew, passing that chain of responsibility right along, as well….)

Andrew wouldn’t take this from Ashley. We’ve all known for a while that his ‘doormat extraordinaire’ descriptor is a good bit of unreliable narration, and is exactly what he wants us to think, but it’s still worth noting for that all he does give into Ashley and appear to be that doormat, it’s reluctantly. A lot of the time he’s only battered down into agreeing with her, which is part of why he’s so frustrated and often times verging on nihilistic in episode 3.

So whilst, yep, I do think Douglas would be happy to call himself an extension of Renee, because when he comes home from long hours of work, feeling tired and frustrated and perhaps verging on nihilistic (note, we do not know this, but considering he has to tell Andrew in an episode 2 flashback that he isn’t about to jump off the balcony, it’s not hard to see potential parallels to our very suicidal and nihilistic Shots and Such Andrew) she makes everything right again.

But it really is more complicated for Andrew. Just in this framework, Andrew is both happiest when he has Ashley right beside him, but also at his most miserable when he���s ‘forced’ to put up with her. When he’s apart from Ashley, he feels wrong. But when he’s with Ashley, they so frequently fight and he does things that he doesn’t like. If he thinks of himself as an extension of her, it’s in a very miserable sense; he wants to be more to her than just what she wants to be, and more than just Leyley’s Andy, and feels confined as just her plaything. He views her as fundamentally incapable of drawing any kind of lines between them, so when he is Ashley’s anything, for all that he claims to be happy to be her everything, it isn’t offering any kind of safety or fulfilment in the same way that being Renee’s husband offers something to Douglas.

To put it succinctly, Andrew yearns for an equal partnership; Douglas yearns to be with Renee in any capacity.

Or, well, it’s hard to say exactly how Douglas feels, because we never see his perspective, and because most of the thoughts we have on their relationship are from Renee’s perspective. But we know that they both feel as though they saved each other — it’s just that Renee’s words about this are a lot stronger. She very fervently insists that meeting Douglas is practically the only good thing to happen to her, in her time capsule letter, but Douglas’s is more… wishy-washy, I suppose? He says that being with Renee gives him a reason to stay alive, but practically everything else he says is along the lines of “I want to do this because you do”. Even in Renee’s vision in the vision room, mostly Douglas seems to just test the waters more saying anything concrete, so it’s hard to get his thoughts on things beyond just the obvious “I love my wife”.

What I will say is interesting about that vision is how he does take some actions without Renee’s direct input. He, at the very least, is in tune with her enough to act on her behalf sometimes, as here, he unplugs the phone for her, and is the first to tentatively bring up that they don’t have to do anything about Andrew and Ashley potentially being Nina’s killers. But I think more relevantly here, we also observe he easily he backpedals. He thinks out loud about how the punishment for Andrew and Ashley can’t be that bad if they killed Nina, because they’re both just kids – very apathetic to the situation as he’s apathetic towards the kids – but quickly changes his tune when Renee snaps about not wanting to be seen as the mother of two kids raised so badly they’re murderers. After that, that’s when he starts of his casual avoidance – the “We don’t know that it actually happened, so therefore it probably didn’t” type attitude. (Curiously, this is more of a parallel to Ashley’s line of thinking about Nina with her whole “If you don’t think about something for a really long time, it’ll be like it never happened” type mentality.)

We see Andrew test the waters in similar ways, especially in episode 1, where he lets Ashley dictate a lot of his behaviour for some kind of plausible deniability (“Do we, uhh… Do you want to go check on him?” about the neighbour once on his balcony, and the infamous “Wanna go take a peek?” “Nope. But I’ll come along if you do…” about going to see what the music is about the first time) but I think this comes from a bit of a different place. Douglas tests the waters with what he says because he fundamentally trusts his wife’s judgment over his own, seemingly, and because he doesn’t want to go against her. But Andrew speaks like this because his mask is still so far up in episode 1, especially when we don’t see him from his perspective, so he’s still very much shifting responsibility for what they do onto Ashley because he doesn’t want to accept it. It’s not that Andrew especially trusts Ashley’s judgment, clearly not, given how much he doubts and insults her plans and motives in later episodes, but if she makes the decisions, then it’s just not his fault if things go wrong.

Or once again, to summarise, Douglas lets Renee be responsible for his actions and opinions because he trusts her and because he wants his thoughts to align with hers, whereas Andrew lets Ashley be responsible for his actions and seemingly at fault for his opinions only when it’s both most convenient for him to have her to blame, and when he’s willing to entertain her as actually Ashley – when he’s having enough fun with her to actually want to hear her thoughts.

Because if there’s one big thing that stops Andrew from being an extension of Ashley, it’s that most of the time, he doesn’t see her as her own person. Most of the time, if anyone’s an extension of anyone, she’s just some extension of him, as he’s the stand-in mother, father, boyfriend, whatever the fuck she feels like that day to her, whilst he consistently dehumanises and infantilises her. He can’t be the extension of someone he views as never having grown out being a child at the best of times, and as simply an “it” – some kind of object that can’t be consistent because it doesn’t have its own thoughts – at the worst. And when she attempts to force him into that position – when she chains him up or puts him away in the toy box – he’s miserable, because he is only willing to be Ashley’s if it’s on his terms.

[doppuing]

untitled: 01 || j.jh

you did everything for jaehyun, loved him endlessly, and it still wasn't enough.

pairing: boyfriend!jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: angst (no happy ending)

warnings: cheating and swearing

the second you walk through the door, you know.

his back is turned, phone still in his hand, the apartment cold like it knew this was coming. and suddenly you can’t breathe — because the ache in your chest finally has a name.

micaela.

you don’t even try to hold back. “how long has it been?”

jaehyun doesn’t turn around. he doesn’t need to.

he chooses to ignore you.

you stand in front of him, jittery and fueled with anger.

he looks up at you, sucking his teeth “what do you want me to say?”

"how long have you been fucking micaela"

he turns his head to the right, facing the wall full of pictures with memories you both have made over the past three years

your voice is already breaking. “the truth. just once, jaehyun. i want the fucking truth.”

he finally turns. his face is blank. practiced. like this is a script he's already memorized.

“a couple months.”

you swallow the lump in your throat so hard it burns. “were you ever going to tell me?”

“no.”

you flinch. “why?”

he looks at you like you’re exhausting him. “because you would’ve made it a whole thing. you always do.”

“a thing?” your laugh is hysterical, broken. “you mean like you ripping my heart out and fucking stepping on it? sorry for reacting.”

he rubs his eyes. “this is exactly what i mean. everything with you is so fucking dramatic.”

you feel something inside you snap. “you know what’s dramatic? cheating on someone who would’ve given you everything. someone who did.”

he steps forward, tone clipped. “you gave me pressure. not love. you gave me expectations i never agreed to.”

“i gave you my heart, you fucking asshole!” your voice cracks, loud and raw and shaking. “i defended you. even when people warned me. i picked you. every fucking time.”

“maybe you shouldn’t have,” he says quietly.

and that? that’s the part that finally breaks you.

you take a shaky breath, your throat tight. “so what was i, huh? a placeholder? someone to fuck until something better came along?”

“don’t do that,” he mutters, looking away. “don’t make this uglier than it has to be.”

“you already made it ugly,” you whisper. “you looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me. while you were fucking someone else.”

he looks at you then. really looks. and for a second, there’s guilt. something close to it. but it disappears.

“i don’t love you anymore.”

your heart doesn’t just break — it shatters. it disintegrates in your chest while you’re still standing, still pretending to breathe.

you blink, and a tear slips free.

“say it again.”

he doesn’t.

“say it again, jaehyun.”

he looks away.

coward.

you wipe your face, even though you’re still crying. “you never loved me like i loved you. that’s the real fucking truth, isn’t it?”

nothing.

just silence. stillness. a ghost in the shape of the man you loved.

you move toward the door, hand shaking on the knob.

“i hope she breaks you,” you whisper. “i hope you finally understand what it feels like to be thrown away.”

you don’t slam the door.

you leave it open behind you.

because part of you wants him to see how it feels when someone else walks away

[lheslie]

Getting Married to Toji

Choosing the wedding Venue and Decorations with Toji is a hard thing to do.

You know for a fact that this man is color blind and doesn't like anything fancy.

You knew that, when you said yes to his proposal. So the person helping you decorate your wedding is your two kids.

Especially Tsumiki, since she's the only one who can understand you.

Toji didn't like the fact that you two had to be separated so it won't 'Jinx' the wedding.

He was kinda excited about seeing you in a wedding dress.

"Fuck those shit, I wanna see ya." Toji said as he was waiting in another waiting room while you try out dresses.

"Toji..." You sighed.

"Alright, make it fast I want this to end. I didn't know there were some kinds of fucking rituals to do before marriage." Toji grumbled as he faces the wall.

He watched the television while he waited for you to choose your dress and Tsumiki's dress.

He thought to himself, 'I'm gonna fucking kill who ever made this, no see the bride before wedding shit.'

When it was time for choosing their tuxedo you had to go to different shops, because none of their tuxedos can fit Toji, so his had to be custom made.

Toji had to endure days and hours just to choose a tuxedo.

"Fuck, Can't I just a shirt and pants to the wedding?" He complained.

"No." Tsumiki and Megumi both said

When Toji got married to Megumi's mom. He did it at the court, so it went fast as you can think of.

He knew, You, Tsumiki and Megumi would be happy so he can endure it, It's the least he can do.

On the wedding day, he hated the long wait, he didn't even see you the entire day.

Not only was he irritated, he was also a bit anxious on how this will go out.

"Fuck" He mutters as he punches the wall.

"Calm down Dad." Megumi said as he was sitting on a chair scrolling in his phone.

"How much longer?" Toji asks

Megumi looks at the clock and stands up.

"Now, let's go to the altar." He says as he opens the door for his Dad to go out.

Toji walks out and goes to stay at the altar.

'Once this shit ends I'm killing the man who made this tradition.' He thought as he saw the door opens.

As every groomsmen and bridesmaid comes in through those doors.

Tsumiki was walking with a beautiful dress accomapanied by a friend.

And for some reason Gojo was a flower girl throwing roses especially at Nanami.

And the very last, You.

You were slowly walking down the isle with your father in tears.

It felt like, the wait was worth it, everything was perfect. You were perfect. He watched as you were walking.

He wanted to pick you up and just bring you home.

He smiled as you walked to him, as the priest started to speak.

You spoke first on your speech, it made Toji melt, chest filled with happiness, sadness and content with you.

And when it was his next, he didn't know what to say.

"Y/N, for as long as I've existed. I never thought I'd ever find someone like you, you understood me, cared for me and loved ne unconditionally even though we both know who I was. I am happy that I have the honor to love and appreciate you for the rest of my life, and in death." He said

You were shocked at his words, tears falling from your eyes, as tears also fell from his eyes.

You both smiled at each other lovingly, you both felt love and safeness at each other's arms.

You were both lucky meeting each other.

*After the wedding*

"Dad, on your wedding speech. Where did you get it from?" Tsumiki asked.

"I also don't know, was kinda in the moment." He said as he was hugging you asleep on the couch.

"Yeah, it was almost like you were possessed by some kind of entity." Megumi added

"We should get you checked Dad." Tsumiki replied.

"Eh, Whatever." Toji replies

[agentrouka-blog]

Hi, Rouka! 😁

Is saying that you ship Sansa with happiness, lemon cakes, agency, and supposedly harmless or non-threatening people (Podrick, Willas, etc.) infantilizing her—because it ignores something that has real potential to make her happy, something that she uses her agency to choose (ie, the Hound)—in terms of presuming that women don’t know their own minds and need to be told what’s best for them, and implying that what Sansa should want is more important than what actually makes her happy?

Quick question: can you infantilize a child?

Also, we can and should draw a line between shipping and canon speculation.

I do not - literally do not - care what people ship in the privacy of their fandom experience. If Sansan floats someone's boat then I neither have to know nor ever care.

If questions are brought to me about canon speculation - or I just feel like commenting on my blog - then we can have an exchange about the probability of author intentions and implications of specific developments.

The idea that Sansa "choosing" to be with a man who tried to rape a 12-year-old prisoner still on her first period and only refrained from doing so because she shamed him into it with her childlike innocence and a religious hymn.... the idea that this is first and foremost an expression of agency and "happiness" on her part? Finally handing to her abuser what he was denied in that moment? Because he suddenly somehow becomes a source of happiness as opposed to terror and revulsion and pity?

Can we be serious for one second and just honestly admit that this is nonsense? That Protagonist Sansa's destiny in the plot is probably not about which of her abusers she will end up choosing? Because that's the extent of her options?

You don't need to have a "woke" justification for enjoying Sansan. But if your mind takes twists and turns of this kind to create a sense of legitimate canon speculation for this scenario you're just being silly.

[bnhaobservation]

I'll bite and tackle some of the things you say if it's okay for you (if not feel free to ignore me) and I'll start by Hawks and by what he did which is not extrajudicial murder in Japan.

An extrajudicial killing is the deliberate killing of a person without the lawful authority granted by a judicial proceeding. Deaths caused by legal police actions are generally not included.

In Japan is legal to shoot an escaping criminal provided the criminal is deemed dangerous enough. Japan had been asked to revise its domestic legislation on police use of firearms to ensure it complies with international law because currently it still doesn’t.

The Japanese police is not trigger-happy, it seems it's rare they decide to shoot for whatever reason but they can do it and I remember a couple of years ago in Japan a newspaper wrote an article suggesting with enthusiastic terms how the law could be changed to allow the police to shoot more criminals.

Horikoshi used them as a model for what Heroes can and can't do.

There's a misunderstand in the fandom based on a mistranslation in chap 251 which seems to say Heroes can't kill, when Ending actually said Heroes won't choose to kill.

We see that Heroes can very well choose to kill when Mirko and the other Heroes are all for murdering Tomura while he’s still inside the tube and when they break it and Tomura falls out and his heart isn’t beating no one feels compelled to give him first aid.

Tomura is a dangerous Villain. They can ‘shoot’ him even if he’s unconscious in a tube, unable to defend himself.

So why Jin’s murder is looked upon negatively by society? Because the video was done in a smart way. It didn’t present Jin as a dangerous Villain, but a crying Villain who was escaping and that needed Dabi’s protection. Twice isn’t famous as Shigaraki Tomura as a dangerous Villain. Before Jin were to overcome his trauma he was ranked as C (info from the first fanbook), same as Himiko and Shuuichi. After he overcomes his trauma he’s ranked S, same as Tomura (info from the second fanbook). If letting Jin escape weren’t to represent a danger for society, murdering him would have been an extrajudicial killing.

However there’s another thing to point out that’s in BNHA, which is that Heroes have to uphold a certain reputation. They shouldn’t look ‘trigger-happy’, actually they must not look bad at all, which is why the HPSC prefers to kill them than arrest and process them if they commit crimes.

Dabi instead shows the murder in all its brutality, adds that Hawks also killed a Hero, Best Jeanist, in order to curry their favors and explains Hawks is the son of a murder. Japan believes that having the same bad blood of a murder, means one is prone to murder and Dabi has shown him Hawks killing a man and told them he also killed another.

However all it takes to have people stop worrying about Jin’s death is for Hawks to claim if Jin had been allowed to use his Quirk they would have been facing more death and destruction. He admits it’s a shame he couldn’t find another way, that he wasn’t good to find another way but that’s it. No one will stand up and still complain that Hawks had no right to kill someone. They all swallows he did what he had to do and since the police knows Jin was dangerous no investigation will be done.

Note also that Hawks first apologizes for hiding the fact that his father was a murderer. Generally, it's best to apologize first for the most important offense, meaning the most important offence wasn’t he killed Jin but that he hid he was the son of a murderer.

Lastly note how the journalist that spoke after Hawks claim they need to take down each Villain. The verb used can also mean to kill each Villain, and that’s likely what she means as she trails off because she realizes she’s asking Enji to kill his son.

What made Hawks look bad was betraying Jin, who showed him kindness and friendship and taking advantage of his naivety. Note though how this doesn’t last long, the visual changes as soon as Hawks offers to help him start over one he pays for his crimes.

Does this comes with no consequences?

It comes with ZERO legal consequences for Hawks because he didn’t commit a crime.

Does it have practical consequences for Hawks?

Dabi burns his wings and hurt him a bit but Hawks will still be able to fly with prosthetics… which is actually the result of Horikoshi being way too biased toward Heroes because with how hot Dabi’s fire is, Hawks should have been turned into ashes on the spot in the most horrid and painful way possible, even more than Touya at Sekoto Peak because Horikoshi said Touya has some fire resistance while Hawks has none. The same goes with how an Himiko’s close cut his cheek but not even a scar remains. So yeah while there are some practical consequences they’re too tiny. Himiko resuming Sad Man’s parade with much anger in her heart than Twice, not only didn’t produce any casualty, the worst damage being Uraraka getting stabbed because, for her own admission, she got distracted, but it actually worked at their advantage because Himiko was so angry she couldn’t clone Shigaraki and use his Quirk.

We might say this didn’t help Hawks’ popularity as it showed he’s as capable to kill as his father.

As said before Heroes can kill but they generally choose not to which gives people a good impression of them, Hawks choosing to kill a crying escaping Villain (the public doesn’t know how dangerous Twice is and he seemed pretty pathetic in that scene) likely didn’t give a good impression. His explanations on why he did it, are possibly not well taken. Japanese people aren’t fond of being explained WHY you did something they deemed wrong, they see this as making excuses. So the key point is if they buy Twice was really dangerous and Hawks did the right thing in murdering him. Possibly they did, at that point they weren’t really fond of letting Villains survive.

So… no consequences?

One of the themes of BNHA seems to be you can sacrifice one person for the well being of society. It’s sad and might feel unfair but… society takes precedence. And again, this is a thing that has cultural roots. It’s occasionally challenged in some stories but it’s a generally popular theme with a long historical root in Japanese culture and the sum of it is that for the story Hawks did something sad but necessary so there isn’t really any punishment for it.

So why killing Twice if it has no consequences?

It has consequences for the Himiko plot. She will start to question Heroes, wondering if they want to kill her, she will start sad man parade all over, her grief and angerbeing so big that Uraraka can’t reach her at first and gets stabbed. But it comes also as a term of comparison between Hawks and Uraraka because Uraraka will refuse to kill Himiko and will manage to reach her in the end.

This sets Uraraka apart as a person nicer than Hawks, one with a deeper wish to save (Hawks is also criticized by the story for how, differently from Shouto, he cut bridges with his family)… but her deeper wish to save brings her to get stabbed and Himiko to die to save her.

Ultimately the theme is that Himiko had to be sacrificed for the well being of the society, if this had to be done with a Hero killing her or with her killing herself don’t change much the final result.

Is it good storytelling?

I’m honestly not too fond of Horikoshi’s storytelling as he has good ideas but not a great execution. In fact Horikoshi tossing outside the window medical accuracy in favor of a narrative that’s way too biased toward Heroes harms the story’s believability.

Why should Jin die because he gets stabbed when Hawks should have reduced to ashes and instead he loses only a good part of his feathers? Why should Uraraka survive being stabbed thanks to a blood transfusion that kills Himiko (blood transfusions don’t work like that, Uraraka didn’t need ALL OF THAT BLOOD or she would have died before Himiko could do something!) while Bakugou can get his heart sewed together? Why Himiko’s cut doesn’t even leave Hawks with a scar?

But what about the theme? The consequences for Hawks? As said before, the lack of legal consequences is due to Japanese law. The lack of practical consequences is due to Japanese culture/tropes saying it’s okay to sacrifice one for the well being of many.

And this, as far as my country’s law and culture go, would be the wrong thing to show/say in a manga but well, I’m not Japanese.

Endeavor’s abuse of his family takes a similar route and I’ve discussed it in many other posts so I’ll summarize.

When BNHA started most if not all of what Enji did would have gone legally unpunished (laws in Japan have changed so now he might have faced some repercussions… maybe). It’s not cool for a Hero, so it’s a HUGE blow to his already not as great as All Might’s reputation and to the Hero world in general, but the worst part that Dabi pins on him is that Enji shares Dabi’s blood and Dabi is a murderer, which is the first thing Dabi takes care to inform people of.

Enji won’t suffer of legal consequences because law doesn’t care about what he did.

However society cares a lot about him being the father of a murderer, of having been unable to look after his son and stop him from committing murder, of potentially passing him the ‘blood of a murderer’. As Natsuo said TWICE, the consequences of what Dabi did will be that the whole family (yeah, not just Enji, everyone who’s sharing blood with Touya, including Shouto who did nothing wrong) will end up in metaphorical social hell, as society won’t forgive them. We see people showing some Endeavor’s hate in the dark Hero arc and we see how Enji, Shouto and Hawks couldn’t get inside U.A. high to support Midoriya or their presence there would have enraged the people further.

However again, Horikoshi doesn’t deliver such hell. Japanese people know it’s hell for people who’re related to murderer, so that in real life they’ll do their best to dissociate from said family member… but actually doesn’t really show us much as he’s more focus on the whole theme of ‘everyone being supportive’ so Fuyumi has to leave her job but immediately finds another and has a person who’ll support her and Natsuo rushes to change his surname but he can do this only thanks to his girlfriend who agrees to marry him regardless and Enji and Rei will be supported by Hawks, Enji’s sidekicks and driver.

Because Horikoshi is more focused on the idea that someone will save Heroes when they need saving than on everything else.

Enji also suffers of emotional consequences, discovering into what he has turned Touya will be a huge blow for him and what will finally push him to apologize to his family, which is something normally a family head isn’t supposed to be doing because most of what Enji did isn’t just not legally punished but was culturally considered his own right (again, things are changing).

Basically the story mostly represents someone with an old mentality coming to term with how such mentality was wrong and harmed whose he cared for. This is the big, cultural deal with Enji’s atonement… which, for example, doesn’t work at all in my culture because what Enji did in my country is a crime so of course he should have been aware he couldn’t do it.

Enji’s actions are bad because, as said many times, they created Dabi, who harms society. Dabi is the family’s sin, the one things for which they’ve to atone to society. It’s really not a minor consequence, if Enji hadn’t turned his family into a hell Touya would have grown up like a normal kid, maybe even managed to become a Hero, he wouldn’t have burned people and turned over Hero society. I’ll say that’s a big consequence, important to the plot, possibly much more than how Twice getting killed sets Himiko off.

Long story short, Horikoshi portrays many things as bad but not in terms of ‘illegal’, just in terms of ‘not good’. The result is that the consequences for such things are overall not ‘jail for the offender’, but become something that has negative repercussions on them and the people around them. It’s karma, not justice at play.

Horikoshi’s main bad guys are never those who harm one lone person but those who harm society, and to them he pours all his moralizing and consequences, which is why Tomura, Touya and Himiko die and that’s also why we’ve Shouto who, instead than telling Touya that he’s wrong because his family might have wronged him but loves him, rambles about how their family was hell but Touya decided to take it out on society when he should have kept it a family business and why Uraraka instead than telling Himiko she’s a minor and that’s illegal in Japan to sentence to death minor insists that she killed people and that this can’t be excused but hey, she’s willing to talk with her and give her blood (while Himiko is in jail).

I also find that part of the ideas in BNHA are ‘outdated’, as I’ve said both laws and mentality are changing even in Japan (still with the current laws nothing would be done against Hawks and very little could be done against Enji), which is why I think that BNHA’s portrayal of a ‘better’ world actually fail as it actually doesn’t really changes in any relevant way for the victims of family abuse, for the homeless and the discriminated people beyond claiming that now the other people will be inspired to be kinder so everything is left to the good will of people.

The story doesn’t establish any new structure or law or anything that would support this and Quirk counseling fundamentally is not meant to help society to be more accepting of who has Quirk problems, but to make those who have Quirk problems better fits for how society is.

Said all this… BNHA is certainly something that can and should be criticized for his messages if they don’t match with your cultural values, and not accepted passively, but the critique should come from a point of understanding that BNHA isn’t taking such messages from a vacuum but from a pool of laws and cultural values that might not match with the ones of other cultures. As a Japanese writer who writes for Japanese audience Horikoshi has no duty to discharge his own laws and cultural values, for laws and values that come from different countries especially when he insists he doesn’t even want to make a work which criticizes society.

BNHA can also be criticized for the way it handles issues in its culture, caring to visually offer more support to Heroes, who’re the ones who are actually in a privileged group with a strong social supportive network, than to those who don’t have it, and insisting on demanding people should just ���heroically’ suffer in silence and not rock the boat, which yes, comes from Japanese values but is starting to get criticized in Japan itself. Horikoshi can say he doesn’t wish to criticize society but he present social issues that exist in Japan and even a ‘solution’ for them which is ‘and then we were all inspired to be nicer’, which is a poor way to answer to the setting he created and a critique to society which is not nice enough but should follow Midoriya’s example.

Said so, I’m not telling you to change your mind, my post was merely aimed at showing you how, with different cultural values, what we’re presented changes so we can’t even talk anymore of the extrajudicial murder of Twice, because that’s not what it was in the story.

Horikoshi is surely not the sort of writer I’ll aim to defend for his storytelling, which is flawed in way too many points, but if the premise of the critique is wrong because we expect a legal punishment where there was no violation of law, well, the critique ends up losing its value.

At least that’s what I think. Feel free to think differently and sorry for hijacking your post!

okay but even if we cop out* by accepting the argument that BNHA reflects different cultural values and that certain critiques of it are therefore not valuable/inappropriate, BNHA still completely fails from a writing standpoint as well. the things that get handwaved as cultural relativism in the ending were presented as unambiguously bad things at earlier points in the story (Endeavor’s abuse of his family, Hawks’s extrajudicial murder of Twice.) looking at their minimal at best impact on the ending, these things may as well have not happened at all. from a writing/craft standpoint, what was the point of raising those issues earlier in the story and making a big deal out of them at the time? was it to fill space? what was the point of those fairly significant storylines if they didn’t affect the outcome even slightly? why make a big gesture of waving chekhov’s gun around only to put it back?

BNHA can be a cultural artifact, sure. And it can be a shining example of bad writing at the same time.

*I personally see this as a cop-out. That is a personal viewpoint. I am not criticizing people who accept this viewpoint, just stating my own opinion.

[mothedmanillustration]

happy father's day to the single dad who's trying his best! here's a bunch of sketches of alakshmi and abyssal together!

[zoennes]

[Zoë, can we talk? I want to explain what happened!]

[Okay, tomorrow?]

[Great! 11:30 at the Ferris wheel?]

[Works for me.]

[daxisyzz]

hiiii i hope you are well !!! i was wondering if you could maybe do a fic where the reader gets kidnapped and tortured by hydra on a mission or something, and after a while bucky and the team find her and save her but she’s so psychologically damaged that she’s scared of everyone? preferably lots and lots of protective and comforting bucky as he looks after her and he becomes the only person she’s comfortable with, all the angst and hurt/comfort with a happy ending would be amazing!!! thanks 🩷

Heyyy!! Hope you're doing well too. Writing this fic made me cry so I hope it's what you expected. Sorry for answering late🙃

Only safe with you

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, trauma recovery, Kidnapping, psychological torture (not graphic), PTSD, panic attacks, emotional vulnerability, mentions of touch aversion, recovery

Word count: 1.1k+

You didn’t scream when they took you.

That came later—when your voice cracked raw from begging the shadows for mercy, for death, for something other than the cold numbness pressing in around you like icewater under your skin. But in the beginning, there was only silence. The kind that hollows you out from the inside.

The kind that makes you forget your own name.

You had been captured by Hydra. A mission gone wrong. A corner turned too fast. A shot fired too late. And then it all disappeared beneath the haze of a needle and the slam of a steel door.

No one found you. Not for weeks.

And in that time, you stopped existing.

You curled in on yourself, starved and shaking, while voices you didn't recognize whispered in the dark, breaking you down with every calculated word. They told you you were abandoned. That no one was coming. That you were alone because you were unworthy of being loved.

They never needed to touch you.

They just watched you rot from the inside out.

When the team finally found you, you didn’t recognize them.

You heard the explosion first—the thunder of boots, the sharp bark of Bucky’s voice, the sound of someone screaming your name like it meant something.

But all you saw were more shadows.

You tried to crawl into the wall when they burst into your cell. Your fingernails broke against the concrete, your body instinctively folding into itself, your mouth whispering pleas in a language you didn’t know you remembered.

You didn’t know Bucky was crying until his tears hit your hands.

"Hey," he choked, dropping to his knees, blood on his knuckles and desperation in his eyes. "It’s me. It’s Bucky. I’m here, okay? I’ve got you. You’re safe."

But safety was a concept that no longer made sense to you.

When his hand brushed yours, you screamed.

You screamed like you were dying. Like you were on fire.

And something in Bucky broke that day.

The jet ride back was too bright. Too loud. You were swaddled in a blanket like a child, staring through people who whispered your name with eyes full of quiet sorrow. Natasha sat across from you, tense and silent, her hand clenched in her lap.

Steve paced quietly in the back, eyes heavy with guilt.

Tony said nothing, choosing instead to sit beside you in stillness.

They all felt the ache, but none knew how to hold it.

Because they saw the pieces of you, scattered and bloody, and none of them knew how to put you back together.

Except for Bucky.

He didn’t leave your side. Not once.

You wouldn’t let anyone else near you. The first time Bruce tried to assess your wounds, you had a panic attack so violent your lips turned blue.

But Bucky?

You let him stay.

You didn’t speak. You didn’t sleep. You didn’t see him. But he was there. Sitting on the floor, silent and patient, like he was trying to absorb your pain with every breath.

"You don’t have to talk," he whispered once, voice so low it made your ribs ache. "I’ll just be here. I’m not going anywhere."

And he wasn’t.

Not when you curled into corners, sobbing so hard you threw up.

Not when you tore your own skin in your sleep.

Not when you started to disappear into yourself again.

He stayed.

And the others watched, hurting in their own quiet ways.

Natasha lingered by your door some nights, pacing like she wanted to knock but couldn’t.

Steve brought books you didn’t read.

Tony made sure the lights never flickered in your room again.

They didn’t say much. They didn’t force anything. But they were there.

And Bucky? He just was.

Weeks passed.

You started whispering again. Small things. Words like "water" or "blanket" or "stay."

Always to Bucky.

Only to him.

He was the first person you let touch you again.

A pinky finger. Brushing yours. Barely there.

You sobbed when it happened. Clutched your chest like it hurt. Like it burned to feel something again.

Bucky didn’t cry. Not then.

But that night, Steve found him in the hallway outside your door, fists bruised and bloodied against the wall.

"I can’t lose her again," Bucky whispered, voice shattering. "I can’t."

Recovery wasn’t linear.

Some days you smiled.

Some days you screamed.

Some nights you let Bucky hold your hand.

Some nights you clawed at your own skin, begging him to make it stop.

And he did.

Not with force.

Not with words.

Just with presence.

He’d pull you into his lap, wrap his arms around your shaking body, press his lips to your temple and whisper, "You’re safe. You’re not alone. I’ve got you."

Until you believed him.

Even if only for a moment.

One night, you whispered, "Why did you stay?"

Bucky looked at you, moonlight catching the cracks in him that matched your own.

"Because you matter. Because you didn’t give up. Because you let me find you."

You blinked, tears spilling freely. "I don’t feel like a person anymore."

His voice broke. "Then let me remind you how to be one."

They say healing is like a mosaic, broken pieces coming together to form something beautiful.

You were still cracked. Still healing. Still learning how to exist in a body that had been turned into a prison.

But Bucky loved you through all of it.

With hands that never rushed.

With words that never demanded.

With a heart that only ever whispered, You are safe here.

And for the first time in months, maybe years—You believed him.

One Year Later

The morning sun slipped in through the curtains, painting your room in pale gold. The shadows that once clung to the walls had long since faded, replaced by quiet warmth and slow, steady breaths.

You sat curled on the couch, a book in your lap, half-forgotten, as Bucky entered with two steaming mugs in hand. He paused in the doorway, watching you with that soft look he reserved only for you—a kind of awe, like he still couldn’t believe you were real.

"You’re staring," you said, voice lighter, steadier now.

He grinned. "Can you blame me?"

You set the book aside and took the mug he offered, your fingers brushing his without flinching. That tiny act still felt like magic sometimes.

You leaned into him when he sat beside you, and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you in without a word.

There were no more nightmares that week.

You’d started laughing again. Dancing in the kitchen. Humming in the shower.

You still had days where the world felt fragile, like it could crack open beneath your feet—but you no longer fell alone.

You looked up at Bucky, your eyes soft. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

His thumb brushed your cheek. "You saved yourself. I just got to love you through it."

And you did. Slowly, then all at once. Day by day, moment by moment, you let the light back in through him.