#so gotta go do that I woulda been really mad if I forgot and then didn’t have things to pack for lunch

[lesbiansanemi]

I finished writing the chapter 😌 will post it after I get home

[leahdarkspear]

Paranormal Picnic

As promised, a short story detailing Ja’mez’s appearance from beyond the grave!

It felt odd, putting on her old commander’s armor, her Darkspear tabard. She looked at herself in the mirror - Leah, daughter of Zin’Taj and Ayi’da, huntress of the Darkspear Tribe, Spear of Vol’jin, Commander of the Horde - all of those titles seemed miles away from her and the life she had lived in Zuldazar over the past year. 

Her uniform fit a little less snugly than it had in the past. Even though she had been trying to do better about taking care of herself and having regular meals than she was after Ja’mez’s death, she still found she didn’t have much of an appetite and occasionally still forgot to eat. Leah smoothed out her Darkspear tabard as she inspected herself. She really should get a new one made, this one had faded a bit over the years. Still, it would do for now.

The huntress moved from her bedroom down the long, winding staircase of her treehouse. In Leah’s mind, the living house seemed less vibrant than it had when Ja’mez was there, and she wasn’t sure if it would ever seem quite as alive again.

Down in the kitchen, Leah prepared a picnic basket with a few slices of raptor haunch, some fruit, a loaf of bread, and some cheese. After packing the plates and utensils, she set out toward the eastern outskirts of Dazar’alor, to the burial shrine where Ja’mez’s remains lay.

As she had many times before, she sat before the shrine. “Hey, love,” she said, speaking to a mate who could no longer hear her. “I, uh, was just comin’ by ta tell ya dat I might not be around for a while. De scourge be back… somehow.” 

Leah shook her head. She had thought, like many had, that when Arthas was defeated, the threat had been eliminated, and yet here the Scourge was again, attacking outposts like the Crossroads and Razor Hill. And like many others, she was growing weary of the constant calamities that plagued Azeroth. The huntress sat in quiet contemplation of the situation before slowly beginning to put out two place settings from the picnic basket. “It’s just one thing aftah anothah,” Leah sighed.

“What be in de basket?”

“What de?!” Leah’s ear twitched in the direction of the sound. Immediately, she snapped her head around to look. Though it had only been a whisper, it was a voice she could never mistake. Her brow furrowed as she scanned the nearby area. Finding nothing, she shook her head as if to shake away the confusion, then resumed setting out her picnic. “Anyway, I'm not sure how long I'll be away. I'm leavin' de critters at de Kraal just in case…”

From out of nowhere, something whirled around Leah. She looked up to find Sun, the tiny celestial cloud serpent, her mate’s boon companion, who hadn’t been seen since Ja’mez’s death. Before she could address the little serpent, she noticed the hazy outline of her beloved druid reaching out to pet his friend. The ghostly silhouette looked her way and waved.

Leah squinted hard. The look on her face wasn’t one of fright or shock; instead she looked rather perturbed. This was it. She had finally cracked. She heaved a weary sigh. “Ya know...I kinda always assumed my grief would eventually drive me crazy, but I figured it would take longah…”

“I be ‘ere, Leah.” Great. Now her hallucination was trying to speak to her. She leaned back and folded her arms across her chest. “Oh really?” Her voice dripped with skepticism. “Dis ain’t my imagination?”

Ja’mez broke into a wide grin. “Nope!” he chuckled.

Leah’s face twisted into a scowl. “YOU LEFT ME!!” She screamed as she grabbed the plate in front of her and stood to chuck it at Ja’mez’s head. Then she turned away and folded her arms over her chest to pout.

Ja’mez didn’t try to dodge or even flinch as the plate flew through his body and crashed on the urns behind him. He seemed perfectly accepting of Leah’s anger. The druid tried to smile as he stepped toward her. “I thought ya’d be happy to see meh.”

Leah turned back to face her ghostly mate. The pain on her face was evident. “Well, I'd have preferred seein' ya alive, I gotta be honest. Ya broke my heart, love.” She flopped back down on the ground next to the picnic basket and sighed. “Sorry I threw stuff at ya.”

“It’s okay,” Ja’mez smiled. “I deserve it, I think. Though,” he said as he looked around, “I’m not sure exactly how ta handle dis.” 

Leah cast him a sympathetic glance and gently shook her head. "I'm not mad at ya. Not really. It's just been hard. I miss ya so much. You been okay?"

The question seemed to catch Ja’mez off guard. He looked down and tapped his chin as he gave it thought. “I suppose I'm as good as a dead guy can be.  It's just too good ta see ya, love."

Sun seemed determined not to be left out of this reunion. He whirled around the couple and came to a stop at Ja’mez’s side. The druid reached out to pet him again. Whether Sun could feel it or not, he seemed appreciative of the gesture, giving a few loop-de-loops in the air.

“Haven’t seen him in a while,” Leah gestured to the serpent, “he didn’t stick around aftah. ‘Course, he was always your baby, not mine.” 

Leah wanted badly to reach out for Ja’mez, to have him hold her. However, if the plate was any indication, it would be a futile effort. Also, his spirit was cold, and Leah could feel the chill radiating off him like an early morning fog in autumn. It would hardly be the warm embrace that she had yearned for the many nights since his death. She knew this, and so she refrained. 

Ja’mez also sat silent. Just like in life, it was imperceptible what might be going through his mind. Somehow Leah took comfort in the familiarity. And yet, there was something that gnawed at her.

“I got somethin' dat's botherin me. It's kinda a long story, but I suppose you got time." Leah cracked a smile at her own joke.

Ja’mez was glad to see his mate smile finally. He had never been one to handle sadness well. “Apparently I do. I don't even know what's goin' on fully though yet.”

Leah arched her eyebrow at Ja’mez. She wasn’t sure what exactly he meant by that. “Ah well, maybe ya can answer me dis, even so.”

Ja’mez shrugged. He would certainly give it his best. “Ya.”

“So a while back, before... ya know... I started havin' dese dreams. Like, I knew ya were in trouble, or ya were gonna be. What I didn't know at de time was N'zoth had gotten to me, I just knew I needed ta find you. Den aftah ya died, it got so much worse. He almost got me. My friends, dey stopped my heart ta get de corruption outta me. I was only out for maybe a couple minutes, but when it happened, I saw dis place.”

“What did ya see?” Ja’mez leaned forward with interest.

Leah pursed her lips. She didn’t like recalling her vision, but she had to know what it was, if Ja’mez could answer. “It was dark, and I knew it was somewhere I didn't wanna be. But I couldn't get away, it was pullin' me down. And I could feel so much agony. Like, dere be people down dere and dey all be sufferin'. What is dat? Dat's not where you be, is it?”

“Nah.” Ja’mez shook his head. “I wouldn’t be ‘ere if dat be de case.”

Leah felt a weight lift from her shoulders. Ever since she’d had the vision, she’d been worried for Ja’mez. “Do ya know what it be, though?”

Again, Ja’mez shook his head. “Nah. But I know it’s definitely a place ya don’t wanna be.”

Now it was Leah’s turn to lean forward. “You’ve seen it?”

“For a bit I did,” Ja’mez nodded.

“But it tried ta pull me so strong. How’d ya escape?”

“Bwonsamdi. He be out dere doin’ somethin.”

Leah clutched her chest and exhaled with relief. “Oh, praise dat creepy ol’ loa! I knew he got de offerin’ I made for ya.” A smile spread across the huntress’s face. There would definitely be more offerings to be made in thanks. “So you be on de Othah Side den. Dat’s good, I be glad. Well, actually, I’m not. I prefer ya be here… Wait, so can I ask ya somethin’ else?”

“Of course, love.”

This question had burned at Leah since even before she learned of Ja’mez’s death. “Why didn’t ya take me with you? When ya went ta fight N’zoth? I mean, we made a good team, didn’t we? Maybe… maybe things woulda turned out different.”

“Ny'alotha is like de Nightmare,” Ja’mez explained. “I wouldn’t dare ask anybody I care about ta go dere.”

Leah glowered. “So what, ya think I be some frail human wife, sittin’ around frettin’ while my mon goes off ta fight de big bad?” She sucked her teeth. “Ya know dat ain’t me.” 

“Would ya let me go if we switched?”

The huntress had to stop herself from blurting out a yes. Would she really let Ja’mez go if she had the chance to keep him home, to keep him safe? However, after giving the question consideration, she found her opinion unchanged. “Yes.” Her tone was calm and resolute. “Because ya be de one I want ta have my back when things get rough. I mean, I kinda figured if we didn't grow old togethah, we'd die side by side on top de corpses of our enemies.”

Firm in his resolve, Ja’mez refused to relent. “It wasn’t pretty in dere, Leah. People lost their minds, turned on each other, even. I wasn’t gonna let somethin make me hurt ya.”

Leah cast her mon a reassuring glance. “You be strongah dan dat.” The look on Ja’mez’s face said that he wasn’t so sure. Leah sighed. “Eithah way, I would have rathah died with ya dan have ta live without ya. You were my everything, love. But I keep on goin’ because what de hell else am I s’posed ta do?”

Ja’mez didn’t speak. What he was thinking, Leah couldn’t say. Ultimately, she supposed, none of it mattered. None of the questions, none of the regret could change what happened.

A change of subject was in order. “So how come I just be seein’ ya now? Loas know I been comin’ here for months.”

Ja’mez shrugged. “I really got no idea. But it was much easier to show, now dat the veil be broken.”

“De veil be broken?” Leah parroted. “Like, between here an’ de Othah Side?

Ja’mez nodded. “Somethin be terribly wrong.  Bwonsamdi be doin all he can to save souls from da darkness.”

“Ah, shit…” The realization hit Leah. “I wondah if dis got anything ta do with de Scourge comin’ back…” 

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Ja’mez replied. “But somethin’ gotta be done. De question is, what?”

Leah nodded in agreement. “Okay, well, I be goin’ ta Icecrown ta help handle dat situation, so maybe we can figure somethin’ out.”

“We gonna have to, ‘cause none a dis be right.”

The huntress held up a finger as a sudden thought occurred to her. She then motioned to Ja’mez’s remains. “So, dis is gonna sound dumb. Should I take you with me?”

Ja’mez looked at his body. “Dat… is a good question.”

“Well, I mean, can ya come back anywhere, or did ya only come back here because dis where ya body be?” Leah clarified.

“I ain't been dead long, so I don' know all da rules yet,” the druid chuckled.

Leah was already putting way too much thought into this. “I s’pose I can fold ya up real tight, stuff ya in my bag somewhere…dis gonna be so weird,” she muttered to herself.

“I would leave dem here,” Ja’mez stated. “Dey safe, yeah?”

“Of course.” Leah pointed to the large voodoo constructs patrolling just yards away.

The druid looked at his huntress. The problem was probably much bigger than either of them knew, he realized. “Ya know, whatever work needs done, it probably be on de Othah Side.”

He was right, of course, but that wouldn’t deter Leah. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Leah let her eyes linger over Ja’mez for a moment. “I’m guessin’ ya can’t stay?”

“I don’...” Ja’mez wasn’t given the chance to finish. His spectre flickered out briefly. He looked down at himself.

Sensing this was her last chance, Leah called out to him. “Hey.” Ja’mez looked at her. “I love you.”

His spirit was already fainter, but Leah could see him smile. “Love you too, Lee.”

[slasherscream]

yo I dunno if this is asked or not but can you write some headcannons of Billy and Stu with a super chill Latina?

A/N: anon i’m actually so happy you sent this because i want to make it super clear that i do not just write for black readers like myself. i want to write imagines for other poc as well. we all deserve to take up fandom space not to be sappy or anything-

     billy loomis x latina!reader x stu macher       ft. that's it .... that's the whole concept 

                                                     ——————– 

What did you ever do .... to deserve this (meeting them). An unanswerable question. But there aren't many people of color in Woodsboro, CA         so they first noticed you at school, the new kid, just keeping to herself. People are already talking about you and how chill you are. You don't seem to notice. 

People tend to like things that are shiny and new in small towns which is exactly what you are. The fact that you're so unflinching about it makes you just seem even cooler. 

Stu is the one that gets caught up in the hubbub as he's one of the most popular guys in school. Billy is also popular but he doesn't        care about it. Or about anyone else who's popular (sans Stu), really. So Stu talks to you first.

Blown away by your personality. You're not sitting in the cafeteria even though you totally could and your table would fill up with people who want to get to know you instantly. Instead you're sitting in the grass under a tree .... straight chilling. Headphones on and eating your lunch in total quiet. 

Don't even get mad when he comes up to you with all his ...loud ass energy. Like he's not even being particularly loud (cause he saw how chill you were being and even he couldn't fuck up vibes like that) his energy is just loud. All you do is take off your headphones and give him a small smile and nod from your place on the ground, "sup?" 

He forgot what he was gonna say for 0.5 seconds. You turned off his extrovert, always talking brain for a solid 0.5 seconds with your cool and pretty, little smile. The talent! His brain rebooted and he'd never sat down so fast in his life. Too close to your personal space for a first meeting tbh ... shoulders... touching. But he's cute and tall so ... you let it slide. 

He talks to you the whole lunch period and Billy is wondering where the fuck he is honestly. Y'all are late to class and you all happen to have the next class together. Billy watches you walk in together. While you're talking to the teacher and making up some excuse for the two of you being like ... ten minutes late (which they're buying?? somehow??) Stu turns and wiggles his eyebrows at Billy. 

You sit down in a free seat that's unfortunately not near Stu and Billy (Stu woulda kicked the guy outta the seat next to him for you but you saw him about to and you shook your head as if to say "nah     i'm solid"  and how can he argue with that?). 

Billy watches Stu make heart-eyes at you the whole rest of class and when it's over he watches Stu pout about the fact that his next class is nowhere near yours but you insist he just head to his instead of walking you. Billy's class is your next class. Determined to see what could have made you so intriguing in what?? A fucking half hour? He offers to walk you. You know your way around by now but you shrug because why not. 

The walk to class is five minutes and yet somehow Billy gets it. Took Stu a half hour and it took Billy five-fucking minutes. Billy gets a text from Stu halfway through class that's just the smuggest ... most unbearable ...  fucking ':)'. He's going to bash Stu's fucking face in later but before that they GOTTA trap you. 

They are going to TRAP YOUR ASS. Oh my gosh you have no idea how hard they're gonna trap your ass. When they are working together to achieve a common goal they're incredible. 

The work begins immediately. Can they drive you home today? Can they carry all your shit for you? Don't talk to that guy. They've been to parties with that guy --- he's a total jack-ass. Wanna go to the mall? They'll bring you. Told Stu you wanted to watch a movie tonight? What a coincidence that Billy wanted to have a movie marathon tonight with him ... you can just tag along and join them! 

Much as they think they're the smartest people in the room you do know what they're doing. You're on one of your many "so not a date-dates" when you just come out and say it, "are we all dating?"

They freeze like deer in headlights. They have been #Caught Red-handed. Billy tries to be cool about it and lean into your space like, "do you want us to be?" and somehow ....you stare down that smolder and just raise your eyebrow with a chuckle because you already asked your fucking question and you're not answering his dumb "answers a question with another question" ass. 

Stu jumps in eagerly like "Hell yeah we are!" ruining whatever tension Billy thinks he's establishing. You laugh and kiss Stu's cheek. Billy is enraged...If you don't...give him his cheek kiss- But too late you already moved to give Billy one too. Well then....back to the movie I guess. 

They are very aggressive against any perceived slight against you because you notice them but don't react to them because you have more important things to spend your time on. Guess what babe? They don't have anything to do but fight people all day long! 

This ...is all of you. You're straight chilling and they'll be flipping their shit over any and everything.

Billy pretends to be the calm level-headed one but he's actually not        you are. In private it makes him worse for awhile because like. He can just lose it with you! But then it makes him calm eventually because oh .... accidentally talked out my feelings. He can just rant in a room with you for twenty minutes and then his blood pressure is normal again. 

Your Stu's rock too. You get him to be just a little less on with you but he can also be on allllll the way and you can handle that??? Just as well. He loves you! Loves that you can love and handle him!  

You mediate between the two of them a lot and there are less fights over-all. So you both have a great relationship with the two of them and made their relationship with each other better. What can they give you for this miracle you've given them? New clothes? A movie night where you don't watch only horror movies? Orgasms? Can they give you some orgasms? An actual human heart? anYTHING, babe! 

Didn't think you spoke Spanish at first until you pick up the phone to answer your Mom one day and there you go ...Spanish. They like the way you sound when you're speaking it. Your calm voice flowing even nicer when you're speaking a language smoother than English. 

Stu wants to learn now! He is determined and it is ...terrible. He cannot sound anything but white. It makes you flinch every time he says a word. Billy actually can speak it much better. His pronunciation is nearly perfect but he can't remember any of the fucking words. Together they're the perfect duo of butchering a foreign language! Please stop

They do not tell you! They do not tell you they kill people! You figure it out because you notice an overlap in times when they are not with you or they're having their separate date nights and the murders. You come right out and say it one day.

They're shocked but mostly waiting for a ...secondary reaction that one might expect when their s/o accuses them of something this wild. It doesn't come. Their silence is an admission but you're not doing anything ...else?? What the fuck .. You walk away and they follow you...You're in the kitchen now?? Going towards the fridge?? You ... pulling out three fucking cokes? You sit down and open them and gesture for them to sit down too. Time to talk like you're always insisting they do for a #happy and healthy relationship.

They're screaming inside they thought your calm nature had to have #A Limit. Everyone has a limit! But you love them and apparently haven't found yours yet. Could they be more in love with you? Congratulations! Two shadows for the rest of your life. 

                                                     ——————–

[imoverit]

My first post! I’ve never done something like THIS before!! I don’t even know what to do, where to begin, what to say, I’m not anything special!! Nobody wants to hear how I really feel and on top of that NOBODY REALLY cares how I feel anyways, so what’s the point??? Why?? Well after a very VERY rough Super Flower Moon Phase here at the beginning of the month, and after all relationship issues and personal issues and just everything, LIFE!! Everything is just so fucking crazy right now that I feel I absolutely GOTTA tell this person EXACTLY just how I feel about EVERYTHING.

I feel it already turning into one of those “regrets” where when your 90, sittin on the porch rocking away and you start to think about that one thing that just eats away at you for not saying anything when I had the chance to say SOMETHING and for whatever the reason, I chose not to say it or she’d stop me soon as she realized REAL HONEST TRUE FEELINGS were comming out of my mouth, BOOM everything, including extreme violence (a few times) ANYTHING and EVERYTHING TO STOP ME from saying BABE, I LOVE YOU!! No matter what, She just would not let me tell her my true feelings. Like she was embarrassed by it, like she didn’t deserve to be told she’s beautiful or that she didn’t deserve to be loved by someone or maybe it was, hey you said something mean and/or hurtful to me and now you “love” me alla sudden?

Well actually I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!!! Sometimes people get so angry or frustrated over SOMETHING so SMALL and STUPID and take it out on or direct their frustrations at somebody else. They truly didn’t mean anything by it!! They still prepare the Keurig for you multiple times a day, and they STILL make the bed for you EVERY night, my actions show you I love you. Just cuz I was pissed the dog shit on the floor again and I angrily said to grab the paper towels for me don’t mean I DONT LOVE YOU!!!! Frustrated. That’s what a significant other is sposta do. PUNCHING BAG!!! But when you suffer from Anxiety and CPTSD and maybe a mood swing disorder or something like that, it’s A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL!!! You, sometimes, even violently, snap on your significant other! For what appears to be no reason at all!!! Driving down the road, wind blowing thru your hair and boom, our plans change instantly!! 6hrs into an 8hr road trip and we’re turning right back around to go back home!! Only to get home and significant other is now even more furious that, I actually drove all the way home (she told me too remember) and ruined the weekend! Can’t go back now, missed check in we won’t get there till tomarrow night and then leave the next day nope I’m done I’m so over this and done...... (I’ll spare you all). Mean while the only reason I turned around and ACTUALLY drove the 6hrs in silence maybe a song or 2, but mostly silence, I turned around because if I hadn’t my life woulda required life saving measures!!

And I just don’t know what to do!! I know she’s trying!! She’s still alive but if it weren’t for me being there one night here not TOO long ago, she would have not been with us today!! And I guess that’s what has me the most “INSANE” and I speckt that’s why I’m here typing away for no one too read!!! It just IM IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMAN!!!! Despite all the bullshit despite misunderstandings, Miscommunication, despite EVERYTHING, name calling, verbal death threats, “”WISHES” of death upon her”, cops and a PFA hearing, that she knows DEEP DOWN INSIDE that I WOULD NEVER PHYSICALLY MENTALLY OR VERBALLY ABUSE HER like the monsters before me who hurt this amazingly beautiful strong amazing woman!! Yeah I know, so cliche, amazing...beautiful, it’s like if your in a relationship your “required” to say those things. Just like “I LOVE YOU” 3 words so powerful yet so over said that nobody feels or believes that their significant other “ACTUALLY LOVES” THEM anymore!! Well that’s where the old saying. ACTIONS speak louder than words!!!!! I’m still here, SHOWING her I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH HER despite of what I said to her. I was frustrated and angry at the whole situation and angry at myself for not doing nothing but I’m reality there is absolutely NOTHING NOT 1 FUCKING THING I COULD do about any of it. She was already pushing me out the door when I blew up and took my frustrations out on her. Well you know what I’m sorry your telling me, it’s period week, I love and miss you truly I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU then when I say you been saying that for a month now why haven’t you seen me. We’re on your time schedule here. If I come over it’ll prolly end in a fight for “showing I care” but yet you tell me after I text you first for the day, I was just thinking about you too ☺️😘 “BEFORE” you texted me. Can’t wait to see you. Whoop whoop score for me!! She’s wet right now just thinking about me!! WRONG. Never did find out what was up. I confronted her about it couple days later and complete blow up avoid the situation evade deflect evade anger evade run,(eventually was 100% blocked within the next 10mins) deflect those ain’t about me, shes crying now, I hope you find the happiness your looking for some day. I’m sorry I’m not the girl your looking for it was never me it will never be me. “Basically” wait for my call but don’t wait for me you need to heal sounds like your trying to heal i really do hope you find the happiness your looking for.

Oh shit. I forgot All about this app. SHE called me earlier!! As I was typing up that last paragraph she fucking called me!!! Fuckin surprised the fuckin shit fuck outta me lemme tell ya!! Only wanted a number for a dood so she could get her car “inspected”!! And I’ll stop there for the night. I need some guitar therapy!!! Rough 2020 so far. Stay Well and stay medicated, stoned, blazed, high, happy mad sad whatever, just STAY IT.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Who won then? 🥊 Janis: But actual, you alright, yeah? Jimmy: you don't know me, I forgot Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Nah, had money on you and everything Janis: 👍 glad to hear it Jimmy: feeling like a winner 'til I try & come back in from my 🚬 & find he's locked me out Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Truly your kryptonite Janis: Cass'd open a window for ya Jimmy: not if it means round 2 Jimmy: she's #overit Janis: Might go as far as to say #fakefan Janis: you know you can come here if you actually need Janis: probably don't mention me by name though Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who's about? Jimmy: not trying to walk in on a 🥊 with Gracie Janis: Get it, she's a lot when you ain't #overit yourself Janis: just her and my two younger brothers, who are really not gonna bother with you so Janis: get her under strict instructions, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I'll let you know Janis: Try all the windows first, yeah Janis: Shoulda trained Twix to pick locks, my bad Jimmy: You literally had one job, mate Jimmy: get it together Janis: 😞 I know Janis: That's why he's really pissed, all that time I've been wasting when she coulda been a superdog by now Jimmy: you've let yourself down, that dog down & MOST importantly, you've let me down Jimmy: Oh Janet Janis: 💔 Janis: Really gonna think on what I've done Janis: and haven''t Jimmy: I woulda shown you the door if you hadn't legged it that way yourself sharpish Jimmy: so mad, like Janis: That's me, walk 'fore you make me run Janis: Soz to deprive you of that chance Janis: final fuck you, like Jimmy: if I come to yours, you gonna make it up to me? Janis: Obviously Janis: did you SO wrong gotta make it so right again, like Jimmy: I'll start walking now then Jimmy: Gotta make me hard done by enough for 🥇 Janis: Are you gonn get lost? Janis: 'cos get a safe enough distance from yours and I can come find you, like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Not an answer, lover boy Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: there you are Janis: Helpful Janis: Send out an SOS if you do then? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: He say anything you ain't heard at least 1000xs before then? Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: that'd mean he has to know what's going on Janis: Standard Janis: fun to pretend, we get it Jimmy: probably called you by the ex's name at one point Janis: Fair, he ain't asked and I ain't told but embarrassing for you sir Jimmy: he knows your name, Bobby ain't shut up 'bout you since the other day Jimmy: he loved it Janis: He's a babe Jimmy: ain't gonna stay like it living here & hearing that Janis: 😕 Janis: You're alright, ain't you Janis: just have to learn he's full of shit like you and Cass, like, which yeah Janis: shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I know Janis: Grace's mood is catching Janis: 😷 Jimmy: what's with her? Jimmy: did Mia die? Janis: I WISH Janis: fuck mourning we'd be having a party rn Janis: they're not friends currently Janis: long and short of it Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gutted I got nowt on here to wipe my tears on Jimmy: out* Janis: I hope you put clothes on Janis: rookie error otherwise Jimmy: you didn't stick round long enough to take 'em off Jimmy: your rookie error Jimmy: not gonna ruin my fancy shit though, am I? Janis: you know I'm gutted Janis: you looked so Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [selfie] Jimmy: change the tense Jimmy: still do tah Janis: 💪 still got it, kid Janis: unlike your father Jimmy: what's more goals than a #glowup Janis: I've been cute since birth so I don't know 💁 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'd say #same but there ain't that many 📷 of me to prove it Janis: I wish but you know Janis: kids are kinda my parent's thing so even at #7 & #8 they were disgustingly extra 😒 Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I trapped mine, more of a 'happy' accident Jimmy: less fun to document maybe Janis: reckon most first kids are, second and third even but after that like Janis: you know what you're doing here Janis: just didn't have your 📷 skillz Janis: baby you judging Jimmy: yeah, on my list, top one Janis: List of grievances? Janis: stick it on his windshield as you go Jimmy: 👍 deal Janis: Twix says she wants to add her own Janis: screenshotting this convo for her obvs #justgirlythings Jimmy: 🤞 she'll piss in his shoes when I ain't there to take her out in the morning Janis: Will you 💕 her then? Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: If it's a shit I might not kick her out Jimmy: tell your friend Janis: You want a companion out there in the cold, you just have to ask baby 🐶💕 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I do Janis: I didn't wanna leave but you know, for the best obviously Janis: I'll come get you forreal Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: put your running to use Janis: It's got uses Janis: 💪 Janis: but k, lemme take this ugly ass dress off first Jimmy: why did you wear it if you hate it? Janis: for the #goals Janis: it felt appropriate so I knicked it Janis: just from one of my sisters, not that rich bitch stereotype Jimmy: that'd be more #goals Jimmy: steal me better clobber if you love me, tah Janis: 😍 when he slowly introduces you to a life of crime Janis: that's how I saw this date ending fosho Jimmy: for real though don't do it again Janis: Why? Jimmy: 'Cause I like you Jimmy: we want 'em to know that Jimmy: #asyouare and all that bollocks Janis: Okay Janis: miss you a bit Jimmy: so come get me Janis: I am Janis: not that fast Jimmy: get it together, girl Jimmy: sprint not a marathon Janis: 😑 Good thing you're cute Jimmy: slowing yourself down with ugly dresses & 😍 Jimmy: what ARE you playing at Janis: Mean Janis: gonna go cry myself to sleep now instead Jimmy: you want some classic FM? Jimmy: bit of 🎻 Janis: You are rude and me and Pete are gonna bond over it Jimmy: I hope he likes dogs Jimmy: gotta know his place in the pecking order Janis: Make him get a dog with me Janis: how #goals 😍 Jimmy: you gonna move it too or make him do all the work? Jimmy: in* Janis: Probs depends how much his fam hate me Jimmy: you going for 🥇? Jimmy: or is that just for me Janis: You know you're special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: though feel bad for him, Gracie shaded him and didn't have the heart to tell her he's the love of my life 💔 Jimmy: feel worse if you did 'cause she'd be after him Janis: that's her type exclusively 😂 Jimmy: knew it Janis: plan backfired, she'll not leave you alone now, soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: really fucked me over you Janis: I know Janis: Good thing you're chucking me init Jimmy: good thing it ain't raining too 'cause if I was waiting in that for a kiss that ain't coming Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who said I ain't gona kiss ya Janis: not getting nothing out that date tah, who am I Jimmy: you not saving 'em all for Pete? bit rude Jimmy: & I bought you loads of drinks, rich girl Jimmy: that's not nowt Janis: I can have it all, babe Janis: including at least two lads on the go Janis: yeah that's braggable, got me drunk and didn't even try to fuck me 😒 Jimmy: It ain't braggable that you're a pisshead in love with my co-worker but here we are Janis: 😱 say how you really feel Janis: and I am not drunk how dare you Jimmy: do the touch your nose bollocks on your way Jimmy: send me the vid Janis: 😂 Janis: see that up on the 'gram be fuming Janis: I'm a sophisticated lady Jimmy: like I said, just don't dress like one again Janis: Did I look that bad? Jimmy: You looked good, you can't not Jimmy: but I could tell you didn't want it Janis: Not really my style but neither are dates Jimmy: You had a shit time then? Janis: Nah Janis: it was just like hanging out Janis: I don't know why I thought otherwise, maybe a real one is dead awks like everyone bangs on Jimmy: it is if you ain't got nowt to chat on Jimmy: or you don't eat Janis: 🙄 I can imagine Janis: what a waste of money above all else like just lemme fuck you why are we pretending Jimmy: they got money for the #flex Jimmy: not an issue for you rich kids Jimmy: harder pretending that you don't wanna/ain't gonna fuck before the main course Janis: calling me a slag tho Janis: ruuuuuuuuuuuude Jimmy: collective you Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: Unless you were only a fake virgin Janis: now you calling me frigid Janis: yeah, what I always say Janis: like, alright love, 'course you are Jimmy: some lads are into that Jimmy: just wanna be the first instead of 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: what's sexier than total inexperience to mask your own lack of skillz Janis: not a drag Jimmy: it's why Mia's just lie there technique is so popular Jimmy: god bless Janis: Want me to start doing than from now on? Janis: okay Jimmy: Piss off do I Jimmy: I never said she's my type Jimmy: have said the opposite Janis: well I don't know what that means sexually Janis: you want me to tell you you look like alex turner in his prime or?? Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: firstly I look better than him and secondly bollocks Jimmy: You know what I like Janis: 😂 Janis: Okay okay Janis: true and 🤞 true Jimmy: truest that you need to have a word with yourself if you don't reckon I love fucking you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I miss you too, yeah Jimmy: more than Pete does anyway Janis: I don't think that was really a question Janis: but good to know I ain't walking all this way for nothing Jimmy: don't ever ask him Jimmy: stay with me Janis: I'm not going to, I don't like him Janis: I like you Jimmy: alright Janis: alright alright or shut up alright? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I don't want you to shut up Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: Sorry I left Jimmy: Sorry my dad's a fucking bellend Janis: Yeah same but not on my behalf Janis: no worries seriously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Do you need anything, just passing a shop so be quick Jimmy: like what? Janis: I dunno Janis: you might have some fancy nighttime routines I'm not aware of Janis: or want some more 🚬s Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you've stayed at mine loads, how you reckon you don't know what I'm up to? Jimmy: that's a good shout though fuck knows where I've walked to but been 🚬 all the way Jimmy: #goals like Janis: I'm just trying to be a good hostess 'scuse you Janis: I mean you do look hot doing it so Janis: cancer smancer gotta die somehow kid Jimmy: saves my dad a job Jimmy: & yeah I get it rich girl, your house is fancy, pick me up a ballgown or whatever Janis: Not if he wants to keep his free childcare, think on, like Janis: It ain't it's just big Janis: not fitting us all in a 2 up 2 down, think it thru Ma and Da Jimmy: You gonna introduce me? Janis: If you wanna Jimmy: not what I most wanna do but a bit rude if I just walk in like a horny mute Jimmy: only one of us is pulling that off babe Janis: SHUT UP 😫 Janis: you don't have to they won't care but if we see them Janis: hopefully I won't die of embarrassment Jimmy: calm down, Jenna Jimmy: don't wanna lose your voice Janis: you mean you don't want me to, boy Jimmy: maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: #blatant Janis: we can be as loud as we like, the only other person downstairs is my brother Diego and he's deaf so Janis: thanks kid, unexpected solid there Jimmy: for real or like how your hippie brother wished he was blind the other day Janis: IOU so much more than petrol money 😳 Jimmy: I fucked myself over mentioning that though Jimmy: can't stop thinking 'bout it now Janis: It was Janis: good Janis: really fucking good Jimmy: don't say owt more I'm trying to walk Janis: 😶 Janis: was though Jimmy: yeah I know Jimmy: & I wanted you so bad before I thought 'bout it Jimmy: I just did Janis: I know Janis: It's hard doing anything with you that isn't fucking Janis: you're just very distracting at all times Jimmy: You are Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: hate you too Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: got the 🚬s Janis: if I couldn't and they'd carded me that woulda been a fail Janis: #flex Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: so proud babe Janis: it's the legs Jimmy: & 'cause you ain't wearing that dress Jimmy: but tah for the reminder I'll try & breathe Janis: floral dresses defs a way to look 6 or 86 Janis: not a mood and the 20 year old with bum fluff serving me agrees Jimmy: he better not be agreeing too hard Jimmy: I'll give him a smack Jimmy was timed out 15 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis: 😂 you're good at that bit Janis: the protective boyfriend Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: It's okay, very #goals of you 😍 Jimmy: just 'cause I let you win one play fight Jimmy: don't mean I ain't hard, alright Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: so impressive, babe Jimmy: now it just sounds like you want me to fight him Jimmy: get your 📷 out Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm that bitch Janis: #proveyourself Jimmy: stay there then Jimmy: I'll find my way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: nah #goals Jimmy: you already outed yourself, mate Jimmy: I know you want it Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: not my #goals Janis: theirs Janis: any sign that you care's'a huge pantydropper, obvs Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Poor Kev Jimmy: first name terms, yeah? Jimmy: back on your bollocks, Jasmine Janis: Only go for boys with nametags Janis: that's my secret Janis: would help you loads Jimmy: nowt secret 'bout it, love Janis: Calling me blatant? Janis: This was your plan, boy Jimmy: driving me to it, girl Janis: so 😠 yeah Jimmy: so 💪 Jimmy: I'll just spark him out & we'll go Janis: Nerd Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: & you want me Janis: Maybe Janis: but you're coming for Kev Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm coming for you, baby Jimmy: show him you're #mine Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: if I don't get lost Jimmy: nowt #goals 'bout me just wandering Janis: You're adorable Jimmy: piss off Janis: You are though Janis: how Janis: very rude of you Jimmy: rude of you to keep on when I'm trying to be tough Jimmy: & ain't even gonna mention that it's a bit cold Janis: Stop Janis: Ruining my rep here as well Jimmy: you alright? 'cause you ain't having my jacket, mate Jimmy: I don't like you that much Janis: Don't want it anyway Janis: back to looking 🔥 Janis: tah very much Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: fucking brutal you Janis: can't have it both ways mate Jimmy: can I have you not shitting on my #aesthetic Janis: 😂 Janis: You must do something right Janis: not in #scruffy camp with poor Pete and the white girl w dreads Jimmy: chat to me 'bout that then Jimmy: you love calling me pretty Janis: Shh Jimmy: go on, I could be close to death here Janis: only if Kev fucks you up Janis: you really want the last thing I say to you to be you're pretty Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: what do you want your last words to me to be then? Janis: Not gonna spoil it Janis: wait and see Jimmy: I get it, you wanna call me a dickhead one last time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You know you'd rather Jimmy: I'd rather you just kiss me Jimmy: if I'm gonna go anyway Janis: That's what I'll do then Janis: such a hardship for me, obvs but you know Janis: just that generous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: Tell me that 'fore you go, alright Jimmy: I'll force the words out for you, darling Janis: Tryna walk here Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where are you? 'cause I don't wanna walk anymore Jimmy: not for a bit Janis: Stay put and put your location on Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't fuck it up Jimmy: one job, you know Janis: Please Janis: these are my ends, like it or not Jimmy: tell it to that bus driver you pissed off with your bollocks, babe Janis: 😒 Janis: still your fault Jimmy: yours Jimmy: unless you wake up looking different, always is Janis: convenient Janis: but not that mad about it Jimmy: I'm mad 'bout how slow you are Jimmy: what kind of athlete Janis: If you shut up I'll get there faster Janis: chatterbox Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #shaded Janis: you know I like it when you're loud too Jimmy: you shoulda stayed for the 🥊 Jimmy: love shouting me Janis: Let your Da fully appreciate without my #distracting presence Jimmy: I'm sure he'll say tah when he next sees you Janis: 😏 Janis: I see you though, for now Jimmy: Can't see you, just some random Jimmy: dunno who she could be Janis: oh yeah? Janis: gonna go with her then or what Jimmy: might do Jimmy: she's got nice hair Jimmy: & legs Janis: she looking your way? Janis: [is, duh] Jimmy: good eyes too I reckon Janis: Sounds like you're well in Jimmy: sorry mate means you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Gutted Janis: gonna leave for you start making a scene then Jimmy: It's been #real Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause they gotta save this night] Janis: What was that for? Jimmy: job well done? Jimmy: you got here Janis: your faith in me was so encouraging, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: [kisses her again so he don't say something embarrassing about how much faith he has cos no boy] Janis: You're cute, boy Janis: come back to mine Jimmy: I will just Jimmy: gimme a Janis: [Kisses him] Janis: that? Jimmy: & a sec Jimmy: so I can Jimmy: [kisses her again too 'cause distract him from how much a prick his dad is thank you babe] Janis: We don't have to go there straight away Janis: whatever you want, within the confines of this shithole, obvs Jimmy: you know I want you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: [amps it up no chill ever lads] Jimmy: [Takes off his coat & puts it on the floor so they can lie on it & pulls her down onto it for more kisses 'cause same] Janis: Such a romantic, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Need a car Janis: making dogging low-rent us and that's saying something Jimmy: I'll nick one for us Jimmy: give you those life of crime goals Janis: 😍 damn daddy Janis: I'm driving though, deal with it Jimmy: I'll take my dad's then Jimmy: no 💔 if you crash it Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I can drive bitch Jimmy: only got your word for that, Janet Jimmy: & ain't gonna be your bitch if you can Janis: 👎 boo Janis: hit up all the other 15 y/os that'll blow me for lifts if you gonna be like that Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up] Jimmy: what if that's how I'm gonna be? Jimmy: what you gonna do? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lemme think Jimmy: [more kisses while she's thinking] Janis: You drive a hard bargain Janis: alright, we can still be mates Jimmy: yeah very hard me Jimmy: told you Janis: Prove it Jimmy: [pins her down in a sexy way for a hot make out sesh] Janis: I really missed you Janis: it wasn't even that long but everything is shit and boring when you ain't around Jimmy: I'd say prove it, but I reckon you have Janis: [Proves it some more, get up and go lads] Jimmy: I Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: we need to go Jimmy: or I'm just gonna fuck you here Janis: as much as I don't care Janis: all your Da needs is actual fuel to hate me more so Janis: let's avoid getting arrested tonight, like Jimmy: [helps her up and turns it into a hug 'cause he needs one not sorry] Janis: [Hugs back properly and for ages 'cos knows it] Janis: Come on then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [morning after but later when he's at work not early af when he left] Jimmy: Morning, Jillian Jimmy: how's it treating you? Janis: Impressed you managed to walk of shame without getting lost Janis: lowkey bit miffed you hmu, thought I'd finally got rid of ya when you weren't here, like but Janis: how 'bout you regardless Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll go then Jimmy: reckoned you'd wanna know it's dickhead day here at the CG so you could get yourself down Jimmy: had 'em all in, my dad included Janis: Serious Janis: how desperate and shaming, sir Janis: other places to get an overpriced espresso Jimmy: but nowhere you can get away with treating your server like shit & still get to finish Janis: 😒 Janis: so hard up for entertainment he had to have 'round two, like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: so desperate for proof of life after one night gone he can't accept a fuck you text like a normal person at that time of the morning Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Suddenly arsed, okay Jimmy: I can go anywhere I want as long as I end up under his roof Jimmy: on me own Janis: 👍 Assuming he wanted to go meet his newest then Janis: all fun Jimmy: tah for reminding me Jimmy: family dinner thursday Jimmy: come looking like the #badinfluence you are babe Janis: Yeah? Janis: knew he loved me 😏 Jimmy: I'm inviting you 'cause I do Jimmy: & you owe me that Janis: so you want me to piss your Dad off more? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & let his girlfriend now what she's getting into Jimmy: know* Jimmy: if she's gonna stick around for more than a night Jimmy: Me & Cass will do our bit, not all on you Janis: Alright Janis: Solid plan Janis: I'm in Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's cooking, tell your dad & maybe we can get that shit cancelled before it happens Janis: 😂 Janis: no one wants to make it that much of a family affair Janis: be more horrified and can't really blame him Jimmy: 💔 all around Janis: deffo the mood he's going for Jimmy: I know you're not into it but if you could seduce this bird it'd save me a job Janis: what's she look like Janis: you know yet Jimmy: nah Jimmy: could try & guess based on the last but he really ain't fussy Jimmy: or as committed to a #type as you reckon I am Janis: She ain't got at least 5 piercings and you out Janis: take one for the team Jimmy: tah Janis: be #troubling if she was your type Janis: next step in a midlife crisis surely, younger woman Jimmy: easier for me to fake date her & 💔 him though Janis: Beats the cliche of him stealing your girlfriend Janis: very porn plot this Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 🤞 MILF Jimmy: as long as she ain't got any kids Jimmy: the last one did & she was always trying to organise playdates Janis: Eurgh Janis: own siblings are bad enough Jimmy: didn't have a hot teenage daughter or nowt Jimmy: step it up, Valerie Janis: Un🍀 Jimmy: what you doing with your day? Janis: Gotta start prep now, obvs Janis: whole military operation you know Janis: give a bitch 3-5 working days notice next time Jimmy: you've got a bit Jimmy: not like its tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 yeah Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: NO JIMMY Janis: gonna look such a state now OMG Jimmy: just don't borrow owt from your sister & you won't have anything to bond with our honored guest over Jimmy: job done Janis: 🙄 she probably has a moodboard waiting for the day, like Jimmy: #sisterbonding Jimmy: how goals Janis: piss off Janis: defs don't owe you that much Jimmy: I'm gonna owe you loads of compensation for the cancer 'cause of all the 🚬 we gotta do Jimmy: my dad hates when I leave the table for it Jimmy: #deathwishinalltheways Janis: 😂 Janis: how many ways can you show him up Janis: challenge forreal Jimmy: wait 'til I start touching you up under the table, mate Jimmy: he's gonna be livid Janis: 😳 Janis: boy Jimmy: you turning down the challenge already? Janis: 'Course not Janis: #dedicated Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: why I like you Janis: Who else gonna come family dinner and fuck shit up, like Janis: duh Jimmy: If I told them I'll do more than play footsie with 'em probably a fair few lasses but Janis: shut up Janis: nuuh Jimmy: you shut up Jimmy: I want you to do it Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever Jimmy: whatever yourself, dickhead Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you love yourself so much, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: & that's what you like 'bout me Janis: Sure Janis: no convincing you otherwise so ain't wasting my breath Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lucky you ain't here Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💔 gutted I ain't 😍😍😍 Janis: Pervert Jimmy: won't tell you how adorable you look when you sleep then 😘 Janis: Good Janis: I ain't adorable don't be trying to spread that about Janis: cheek Jimmy: 👼 you Janis: Actually such a wind-up merchant Janis: ugh Jimmy: you love it, Jennifer Janis: Hmm clearly Janis: or I'm a sucker for the pain Jimmy: I get it, you're hurting being away from me Janis: yeah, every minute feels like an hour, babe Janis: 'specially the more you chat on Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It really aches, yeah Jimmy: you just Jimmy: need me Janis: don't make me actually miss you Janis: gotta get things done today, like Janis: can't stay in bed waiting and dreaming 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: rich girl fantasy Jimmy: it ain't my top one but it's the easiest for you to get done Jimmy: no effort like Janis: Tick it off my to-do list Janis: hmu with the rest Jimmy: I can't if I ain't allowed to miss you Janis: not on the clock, has your manager put a ban on Janis: Pete so highkey Janis: bless Jimmy: 😂 Janis: would love to run the place into the ground to piss off my sister but not gonna fuck w ur funds like that Janis: bit rude Jimmy: fuck it school starts soon Jimmy: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that much of a dickhead day yeah Janis: poor boy Jimmy: blasting classic FM Jimmy: full orchestra mood Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 😎 Janis: So cute how you dellude yourself Janis: 💕 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're meant to be making me feel not shit Jimmy: one job, like Janis: 😘 love you Jimmy: only works if you 😗 me in person Janis: you want me to come in later Jimmy: do you wanna? Jimmy: shit to do, yeah Janis: Not THAT much shit Janis: girl gotta eat Jimmy: in it for the smoothies Jimmy: & bacon sarnies Janis: what else? 🤷 Jimmy: pay up then, rich girl Janis: That's how it is now, yeah? Janis: gonna hit me with a massive tab to pay Jimmy: it's out of control Jimmy: sort it out, mate Jimmy: 👌 Janis: thought you was adding it to my sister's Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: I will from now on Jimmy: least I know I'll get it Janis: 😱 Janis: invite her to dinner if she's so reliable Jimmy: the IT couple would like her too much Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: not the plan Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: your grasp on compliments needs work Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what do you wanna hear? Janis: nothing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't matter Janis: forget about it Jimmy: don't be faking there's nowt wrong now Jimmy: what Janis: Seriously, it's nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when everyone chats how nice she is Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: I was saying she's #basic & so are they Janis: yeah Janis: it's fine then Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: bring some enthusiasm with you into it Janis: 😒 Janis: don't push it Jimmy: don't chat that it's fine if it ain't Janis: oh my god Janis: boy Jimmy: you're testing me, girl Janis: shut up Janis: haven't you got a shitty customer to go deal with or something Jimmy: yeah but your bollocks takes priority Janis: feel so special Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: & stop Janis: alright Janis: later then yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: am i coming at lunch or nah Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: so helpful Janis: yeah whatever Janis: gym is close anyway and that's where I'm headed next so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bring some enthusiasm with you Jimmy: saving it for when you show up Jimmy: gotta give the fans what they want Janis: 'course Janis: that's what really counts Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll have my 😍😍 fixed & ready like Jimmy: too much enthusiasm for the CG Janis: That's just your customer service style Janis: I be knowing Jimmy: ask your sister Jimmy: it ain't Janis: 💔 -her Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: such a heartbreaker boy Jimmy: hit my ex up Jimmy: she'll chat on it for ages Janis: well you had to do something pretty bad for her to steal your man Janis: figured Jimmy: 'course Janis: 💀 Jimmy: did you just die? Jimmy: no warning, tah Janis: the conversation did Janis: but good to know I gotta give you my notice 'fore I kms Janis: wasn't clear in the deal Jimmy: write me a letter Jimmy: it'll look great on the 'gram Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna fully blame you and ruin your life from beyond the grave Jimmy: figured Jimmy: already said ages ago what a nightmare you are Janis: I remember Janis: twat Jimmy: #inspo for your note then Janis: what you being annoying for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: you Janis: No I ain't Jimmy: actually piss off then Janis: Fuck you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you won't Janis: Very mature Jimmy: soz I didn't realise I'd added my dad to the chat Jimmy: hang on Janis: 😑 Janis: There's no point even trying right now is there Jimmy: do you even wanna try making that sound like a question Janis: What have I done Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: it's all me Jimmy: we established that Janis: 🙄 Janis: Yeah go on then Janis: if it makes you feel better Janis: go for your life Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah for the permission Janis: So welcome Jimmy: felt it Janis: What? Jimmy: so welcoming you Janis: Yeah fuck me for inviting you 'round Janis: what a nightmare Jimmy: leave it out Janis: whatever Janis: not gonna force you to be grateful Janis: not what it was Jimmy: why say it then? Jimmy: sounds like that is what you want, rich girl Janis: no Janis: it ain't Janis: I want you to stop being like this but I ain't gonna beg Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: could've been hot but alright Janis: it ain't funny Janis: shut up Jimmy: I told you to piss off Jimmy: how many times do I have to? Janis: I can do what I want Janis: mute me if you're so arsed Jimmy: you're so good at that yourself Jimmy: no need Janis: Ha Janis: good one Jimmy: not just a #prettyface Jimmy: why I kill in tips Janis: Obviously Janis: not your coffee Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: book your slot for comedy open mic, babe Janis: Too much like work Janis: with this bank account? Janis: fuck off Jimmy: must've got you confused with my other fake girlfriend again Jimmy: soz Janis: maybe one day you'll get a real one and she'll help you keep track Jimmy: if I get a real one there's no room for fake Jimmy: job done Janis: Rooting for you Jimmy: again, no need Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Do it then Jimmy: what are you trying to challenge me for? Jimmy: if I wanted one we wouldn't be here Janis: Nah Jimmy: what? Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: & I didn't understand it Jimmy: so Janis: Call it a language barrier Jimmy: just tell me what you're going on about Janis: Why would I want to Janis: more to take the piss outta me for, yeah, no tah Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Exactly Jimmy: if you can say something once & act like you stand by it you can say it again so I get it Janis: Why don't you want a girlfriend then Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: got enough going on Janis: Okay Jimmy: you wanna try that again? Jimmy: weren't convinced Janis: Shut up Janis: how is it any less time consuming fake dating then Jimmy: it ain't Jimmy: but we've got a deal Janis: It can be done Jimmy: is that what you want? Janis: I probably won't come out of it looking the best but I'll make it work Jimmy: not what I asked, was it Janis: Think what you want about me but I'm not trying to make your life harder Janis: let's get that straight Jimmy: what the fuck are you thinking if you reckon that's what I'm saying Jimmy: never did Janis: Are you serious, you literally just did Janis: you've got enough on, it's time-consuming Janis: don't act like I've pulled it out my arse Jimmy: nah you've just twisted it on the exit out Jimmy: I ain't got time to go looking for a girlfriend is what I said Janis: You would if you weren't doing this Jimmy: maybe but I am doing it Jimmy: I told you, we've got a deal Jimmy: I'm not just fucking off out of it Janis: Well I said you could Janis: you can't choose to keep doing it and make it my fault when I've given you an out Jimmy: well I don't want to Jimmy: & nowts your fault so shut up Janis: that ain't how it feels Jimmy: how's it feel then? Janis: like you're taking every opportunity to remind me of how much of a fucking hardship it is and how badly you don't wanna do it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know that ain't how it is Janis: That's how you're being Janis: how it seems Janis: which is pretty fucking shitty considering Jimmy: considering what? Jimmy: you let me in your big, fancy house or have we moved on to summat else now? Janis: Don't Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: don't what, tell you how you made it sound? Jimmy: like you did some huge fucking favor to me Janis: That's not what I meant Janis: but by that point you'd had several digs at me already Janis: so yeah, maybe it came out a bit harsh, if I recall you were saying just how welcoming I was and that was just the last of Jimmy: 'cause you were having a massive strop from the sec I mentioned your sister Jimmy: instead of just taking the compliment Janis: That's no excuse to say some of the shit you said is it Jimmy: I don't have any excuses Jimmy: just Janis: Fine Jimmy: don't say it's fine when it isn't Jimmy: I fucked it up, alright Jimmy: just like he wants me to Janis: I know you're having a shit time of it with your Dad, that's what I'm saying, I'm not trying to 'cause more problems Janis: if it stops being worth it on your end you don't have to keep doing it, it's not that important, my rep was for shit anyway so Jimmy: don't go Jimmy: that's important to me Janis: is it Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: so I need you, okay Janis: but you said Janis: no Janis: okay Jimmy: what did I say? Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you can Janis: I don't even know how you said it now or when in this convo and I don't want to reread but Janis: I was saying it was shitty to say all the things you did considering you fucked me and are still fucking me, like Janis: don't have to be my best mate but like Janis: can you not Janis: okay Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: for real Jimmy: I'm not just saying it Jimmy: & I shouldn't have said what I did Jimmy: I get it if you don't like me anymore Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I said some things, even if I didn't mean it that's still how it came out so Janis: sorry too and let's just Janis: move on yeah Jimmy: maybe I am Jimmy: stupid Janis: No you're not Janis: being it but we all do and it's excusable given, alright Jimmy: I really wanna be with you Jimmy: I should've just skipped & stayed Jimmy: I didn't reckon on him actually showing up Janis: I wasn't expecting that either Janis: I mean, devil's advocate and don't shoot me, guess it shows he cares on some level Janis: even if it's for the wrong, selfish reasons, idk Janis: trying to make him seem not like a total twat is hard Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: just try and forget what a total twat I am Janis: You're not though Janis: unfortunate, be easier to ignore with the rest then but you aren't Jimmy: are you at the gym? Jimmy: I'm gonna leave Janis: I didn't get there in the end Janis: do you want to come back here or Janis: I wasn't showing off, or trying to Janis: that ain't me, I know I'm rich and whatever but Jimmy: let me come back Jimmy: 'cause I know that Jimmy: I was just being a dickhead after he was to me Janis: I get it Janis: I should've been nicer Janis: I'm not good at all this Jimmy: nah you are Jimmy: don't be a doormat to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: If I'd been less of a dickhead to begin with we might not have got to this point though but Jimmy: you've always been a dickhead Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: I like you Janis: I like you too Janis: it Janis: it's not just a deal to me okay Jimmy: don't just say that to make me feel better Janis: I ain't Janis: I didn't think you'd wanna hear it so literal opposite of what I was reckoning but Jimmy: you're Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: too good for me & this bollocks probably Janis: Nah Janis: anyway, I want to too Janis: I'm not gonna just piss off, yeah Janis: sorry about it Jimmy: be my real girlfriend then Janis: what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: Yeah and it's a total 180 to like everything you just said so Janis: hold on, like Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: are YOU saying what you think I wanna hear now Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying what I wanna say Jimmy: don't make me feel weird about it Janis: sorry Janis: just checking Janis: okay then Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 'cause I'm coming to your house right now so be sure, tah Jimmy: hung up my apron & everything Janis: 💔 for the apron moment Janis: yeah, I'm sure Jimmy: I can keep it on if you're that into it Jimmy: take me a sec to go back & grab it & I'll get some weird looks but Janis: 😏 you're ridiculous Jimmy: you got me now so get used to the #craic Janis: God you're so cute, shut up Jimmy: will you come with me later to make sure everyone's alright at mine? your true love 🐶 included? Janis: Yeah Janis: 'course I will Jimmy: before my dad gets back, I'm not an animal Jimmy: you don't have to deal with that Janis: Don't worry, if it gives all of you an easier life, I'm happy to avoid him Jimmy: if only Jimmy: if it ain't you it's owt else Janis: 😕 yeah Janis: I'll climb up the drainpipe when I miss you, it's fine 💪 Jimmy: you're so hot Jimmy: can't even remember what I was feeling like before Jimmy: just 😍 now Janis: You know I like sleeping with you Janis: I mean actual sleeping Jimmy: you should stop growing though Jimmy: it's really gonna fuck us over Janis: Yeah, imagine it's easier with Bobs Jimmy: coffee stunts your growth, babe Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: if you really wanna make life easiier Janis: think of my basketball career Janis: someone should've warned Gracie, no catching up now love Jimmy: believe me i'm 💔 Jimmy: the potential those legs coulda had Jimmy: yours not hers Janis: 😂 speedy recovery like for the love of God don't start up again bitch Jimmy: you know Jimmy: don't want you dumping me when we only just got together for real Janis: You wish Janis: no chance, mate Jimmy: ��� Jimmy: scared enough tah Jimmy: always chatting 'bout how much you're gonna fuck me up Janis: 1. you love it Janis: 2. how nice am I to you actually, fuck the chat Jimmy: 1. your house takes ages to get to, owt could happen Jimmy: 2. see #1 Janis: Have a little faith, boy Jimmy: I told you, Jesus don't live with us, girl Jimmy: much as I'd love to make him pay his share Janis: 😏 he died for YOUR sins Janis: yours specifically Jimmy: I ain't done nowt wrong a day in my life Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Come here and start then Janis: Loser Jimmy: VERY rude Jimmy: 1. 🥇 Jimmy: 2. I want you so bad right now don't say shit like that Janis: 1. team Janis: 2. try and stop me now I've got every right to want you as much as I do Jimmy: 3. alright but I reckon this is the same bus driver so if you keep turning me on he's gonna think I love him Janis: 4. already tryna get an old man involved Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't kink shame me Jimmy: not very goals Janis: fine bring with but I ain't touching him Jimmy: I'm pretty sure he just likes to watch Jimmy: definitely remembers me Janis: Gonna have to be a solo show for now Janis: don't disappoint Jimmy: don't tempt me Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: being back here ain't helping Janis: how and why does that feel like ages ago Janis: i wanted you so badly Jimmy: 'cause I've fucked you so many times since then Jimmy: keep wanting me, alright Janis: 🤤 Janis: done Janis: you're Janis: i don't know but whatever you are you're a lot of it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I don't want to get arrested for being a horny mute Jimmy: especially when I fuck up the last bit Janis: He likes it, he's not gonna call Garda Jimmy: not gonna like it when I say your name though Janis: sure he would, he just likes to watch Janis: remembers me too, like Jimmy: might think I'm cheating Jimmy: girl of so many names you Janis: brought that on yourself, boy Janis: surprised you haven't said the wrong one during Jimmy: It ain't my fault I can't read Janis: can't stop shaming you can i Janis: how rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I get it though, trying to turn me from horny to heartbroken Jimmy: tah babe Janis: Poor baby Janis: switch it up on you and make you feel all better when you get here Jimmy: I'm so mad at you for being able to touch yourself if you want Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: i mean you could but you're 🐔 Jimmy: think carefully before you lay that challenge down Jimmy: you know I'll do it Janis: I know I want you to do it but Janis: are you up for the REAL challenge of not getting caught Jimmy: only but now is how bad do you want me to Jimmy: 'cause of course I am Jimmy: taught me everything I need to know, didn't you? Are YOU doubting your techniques? Janis: 'Course I'm not, I told you, I never got caught Janis: I want you to do it Janis: this bad [nude] Jimmy: alright, you have to do it too though & try to be caught Jimmy: that's your challenge Janis: Jesus Janis: Okay Jimmy: how are we gonna prove this? Janis: Record it? Jimmy: I already can't think properly Jimmy: no shit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Step in the right direction Janis: you don't need to think at all, just feel Jimmy: it's your fault, sending me that pic Jimmy: now I'm just Jimmy: feeling a lot Janis: You're welcome for the headstart I gave you Janis: I had to put my clothes back on and find a place I could get caught Jimmy: feeling left out? like it's too much of a challenge? Jimmy: Let me help you Jimmy: [sends own pics of how turned on he is] Janis: Fuck Janis: see, you have to touch yourself Janis: that is too good to waste Jimmy: if anyone does catch me I'll tell them it's a #medicalemergency Jimmy: but they won't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll cosign it babe Janis: why we have to fuck so much, yeah? Jimmy: feel free to use the excuse when you get rumbled Jimmy: female hysteria, yeah Janis: Not aftr that rant from my Ma as pillowtalk Jimmy: where are you anyway? Janis: Outside Janis: Nice day and it reminds me of the times we've nearly Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I should not have asked Jimmy: that's Janis: You'll see when you watch my video won't you Janis: do my best with the angles Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: fuck me outside when we won't get caught, alright Janis: You know you're so talented Janis: gonna be #art Janis: Yes, I want that Jimmy: You're #art Jimmy: tonight then 🤞 Janis: Definitely Janis: at yours or mine Jimmy: less people to catch us at mine Jimmy: but 'cause you're in your garden now I wanna do it there Janis: We can do it right here Janis: x marks the spot Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: real challenge is me doing you better than you can Janis: That's no challenge come on Jimmy: bit rude to yourself that Jimmy: I know you're good, babe Janis: You're better Janis: so much better Jimmy: I can't take that compliment right now Jimmy: I've got a challenge not to fail Jimmy: can't if I die Janis: Well if I get caught I might get murdered so Janis: see you in Hell baby Jimmy: 👍 Janis: How hard are you biting your lip right now? Jimmy: you'll see if I've got my angles Jimmy: but fuck Jimmy: I can really feel it Janis: it hurts good right? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it'll feel even better when you kiss me later Janis: I'll be so gentle Janis: 'til I can't Jimmy: never gonna be mad 'bout you losing control Janis: Good because Janis: This feels incredible Jimmy: I wanna know exactly how it feels Jimmy: but I don't wanna put you off Janis: I'm doing this for you, Jimmy Janis: I want to tell you Jimmy: yeah but typing & filming Jimmy: you need some control for that Jimmy: you're meant to lose it all Janis: I'm using talk and type already Janis: One step ahead Jimmy: I'm mad that I have to be sneaky & you don't Jimmy: I want Janis: What do you want? Jimmy: I wanna just Jimmy: let go too Janis: You can Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: so tell me what it's like Janis: It's like Janis: my hearts already beating fast because of how turned on I am but then it's going insane because I know anyone could see me, hear me, right now Janis: I feel like I could pass out Jimmy: I reckon you could hear mine on this recording 'cause I'm making no sound Jimmy: trying not to breathe too loud even Janis: You're so good Janis: You can totally lose control when you get here Janis: and tonight Jimmy: I have to with you Jimmy: nowt else I can Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: you're Jimmy: gonna be the death of me Janis: I can't help it Janis: You're Janis: there's so much I want to do with you Jimmy: we can Jimmy: you're my girlfriend now you can just Janis: say that again Jimmy: what? Janis: say I'm your girlfriend again Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're my girlfriend, Janis Janis: you're gonna know when you said that when you see this Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: bit awkward if I don't Janis: Trust Janis: How did that nearly get me off Jimmy: I better not chat 'bout how long I wanted to ask you then Janis: Tell me Janis: You gotta talk in here so you keep 😶 Jimmy: it's been ages Jimmy: before you made us miss our stop, like Janis: You mean it Jimmy: you don't think so? Janis: I believe you Janis: I just Janis: I dunno how this happened Jimmy: at the party I just Jimmy: there was so much shit I wanted to say Jimmy: I thought I was just drunk but Janis: I remember Janis: I felt it as well Janis: you can tell me anything you want Jimmy: I got drunk hoping I would just tell you Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: & so I could be around you & not be a dickhead Janis: I love hanging out with you Janis: I just do Janis: it never felt fake Jimmy: yeah but I reckoned you were faking it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: I'm not Janis: I mean, I don't have friends for a reason Janis: I keep people away Janis: I wasn't used to any of it, so I didn't think I would like you or anything, that it'd be easy to fake and feel nothing butt Jimmy: I get it, the only reason I had friends back home is 'cause I'd always had that same group since I was well younger Jimmy: they wouldn't go away Jimmy: I tried Janis: Yeah Janis: exactly Janis: you have to be a real cunt to get them to go, it's not fun Jimmy: I was Jimmy: & still Jimmy: but I don't want you to go Jimmy: don't Janis: Clearly, I'm a better actor than you #humblebrag #sorry Janis: I won't Janis: where am I going Jimmy: hollywood maybe Janis: unless I accidentally post this vid and make it big Jimmy: you better not 'cause then I'd have to post mine as a one up Jimmy: twitter already can't handle me Janis: not for moral support nor nothing, just gotta upstage me Janis: take the clout of how many times I've said your name already and be happy 'cos I can't handle you either Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it's getting really hard to be subtle Janis: you aren't subtle, that's what I like about you Jimmy: you might, the rest of the passengers won't Jimmy: not if I touch myself how I really want Jimmy: they're all gonna notice then Janis: they've seen worse on the bus, like Janis: not like you aren't the literal most drop dead gorgeous boy around Janis: appreciate and enjoy, people Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really not helping me win here Jimmy: different challenges, remember? Janis: 😈 Janis: Losing can be fun Janis: I'm finding out Jimmy: You're not gonna lose Jimmy: someone's gonna catch you Jimmy: come on Janis: why does that make me hornier what the fuck Jimmy: You want it Jimmy: baby come on Jimmy: you can do it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Jimmy: do it for me, yeah Janis: Yes Janis: Holy Jimmy: cum Jimmy: we can together Janis: I want you to cum on my face tonight, will you, please Janis: that's what I'm thinking about, and how much of a mess you're gonna be when you get here Jimmy: like I said, you're my girlfriend now Jimmy: we can do anything Janis: that's tipped me over the edge Jimmy: it's alright Janis: Oh Jesus who just pulled up Jimmy: you're winning, girl Janis: I don't think I can move Janis: this is Jimmy: so stay Janis: Okay Janis: Shit Jimmy: who is it? Janis: My Dad Janis: my brother is with him, Pablo Jimmy: at least it's not Grace Jimmy: then you'd have to move Jimmy: can't give her a captive audience Janis: More terrifying caught than them noticing me right now Janis: *thought whoops Jimmy: what do you look like? Jimmy: help me picture it Janis: Okay, so, I'm laying on the grass with my knees up, and I just have a baggy t-shirt on and I had my knickers around my ankles but I quickly took them all the way off when I heard them so now I'm just holding them in my right hand and they're soaked, I must be so pink and embarrassed, I'm literally out of breath, it's so obvious Jimmy: oh Jimmy: let me know if they decide to stop and say hi then Janis: They better not, I'm holding it back, but I really need to cum again Janis: I know I can't be quiet Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I believe in you Janis: Jimmy tell me what to do Janis: this hurts, I don't know if they're staying or going or what Jimmy: don't wait for 'em to stop pissing 'bout Jimmy: do what you gotta do Jimmy: make yourself quiet this time, you already won Janis: Yeah I did Janis: you're Janis: actually the best boyfriend Jimmy: it's cause you're my #muse Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: never more than now Janis: So cute Jimmy: if I could I'd draw you exactly like this Jimmy: You're actually art, you know Janis: that's what 📸 are for Janis: but I cannot deal with all these compliments right now Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: 'cause you said I could tell you anything I want Jimmy: & you're like properly beautiful Janis: Baby Jimmy: I wanna know you & I don't wanna know anyone Jimmy: hate you a bit for it but Janis: Sorry Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: It's alright, I really like you too Jimmy: we can still be goals Janis: we are Janis: undeniably Janis: even the haters are obsessed Jimmy: did you check your bushes for Mia before you started fucking yourself? Probably should've Janis: even the idea of accidentally getting her off by-proxy isn't enough to turn me off right now Janis: though I would've ideally been way more rough Jimmy: you need to keep going 'cause that's the horniest anyone has or could ever have been Janis: 😂 I told you it was bad Jimmy: I'm not far away Jimmy: we can sort this Janis: My hero Jimmy: gonna make you swoon dramatically, yeah Janis: Better be planning on making me do more than that, boy Jimmy: I don't need a plan Jimmy: I know what to do Janis: You really fucking do Jimmy: 1. is fucking you with my tongue for a bit 'cause as hello's go, top one Jimmy: if you can stay conscious I'll show you what 2. is Janis: 😩 You know how hard I'm gonna cum right, like, be prepared Janis: your tongue is Jimmy: I want it & you want it Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Why are you perfect Janis: and how Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm just a good boyfriend Jimmy: you'll see Janis: I believe it Janis: but I look forward to knowing Jimmy: leave your review under my pillow as part of the Dear John to soften the blow when you dump me Janis: Hush Jimmy: I don't have to now Jimmy: challenge is over Jimmy: video now or later? Janis: Hmm Janis: Later, I wanna watch it with you here, preferably when you're going down on me Janis: can have a review then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gives me time to edit so I look pretty how you like 😏 Jimmy: gonna give myself anime eyes or some shit 😂 Janis: You always look pretty, you just are, it's rude Janis: we've all jacked it to hentai, ain't too proud, try me but please don't 😂 Jimmy: this is why you're girlfriend material Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏

[writesandregrets]

Green, White and Red

Hey hey! This is @greenshi 's present for @chibibreeby for @danganronpasecretsanta 's secret Santa! I really hope you like this Brianna, and please have an absolutely wonderful Christmas!

~~~

This party sucks.

You could barely even call it a party, really, but "get-together" or "slumber party" sounded too lame. It was mostly just kids from your school, some from your class, though there were a few kids from some other schools. You were all just over at Leon's house, holding red cups and wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, just like every other Christmas party ever.

This party sucks!

The only reason you even came was because Chihiro wanted to come, but was too nervous to come alone. Speaking of which, where did he go? Last you saw, he was whispering with Mukuro about something. Now, you're all alone, left watching the sickeningly sweet couples surrounding you. You can barely keep yourself from gagging when you see a guy with spiky purple hair go in to kiss his pissed off looking girlfriend. Ugh.

"Mondo?"

You see that Chihiro has finally returned. Thank God.

"There you are, kid. Where'd you run off to?"

"Oh, me and Mukuro were just talking, that's all. Hey, have you seen Ishimaru at all?"

You raise your eyebrow.

"Where'd that come from? You think he'd even be here? He isn't exactly the party type, y'know."

"I-I know, but I asked him to come too, and he said he would, so I'm just wondering if he actually showed up..."

Just then, you hear a faint buzz from Chihiro's pocket. He pulls out his phone and stares at it for a second, before his face falls.

"Oh no..."

"Huh? What's wrong?"

Chihiro quickly shoves the phone back into his pocket.

"It's Ishimaru...he couldn't get a ride, so he's trying to walk here. That's why he's so late."

"W-Walk? Is he insane?"

You glance out the widow at the snowstorm outside. Howling winds and freezing temperatures filled the cloudy night. To think, Ishimaru walking in this kind of weather...

"Hold on, I'll be right back."

You shove your way through the crowd towards the front door, Chihiro close behind.

"Mondo? Mondo, where are you going?"

"T'pick up Ishimaru. I'll just take my bike, it'll be quicker for'im."

You throw your black jacket on and slide on your boots.

"Y-You're going out there to get him? Will you be alright?"

You adjust your collar before looking back at the shorter boy.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've done worse, trust me."

Chihiro still looks unconvinced, but still gives you a nod of approval. You nod back, giving one last encouraging smile, and then head out the door.

The winds almost knock you off balance, but you manage to keep yourself up-right. You make your way to your bike, start it, and ride down the road to where you think Ishimaru is. It doesn't take long to find him, just two blocks away.

"Hey, bro! What the hell are y'doing?"

You see two red eyes pierce through the snow to meet your eyes.

"Mondo? What are you doing out here?"

You shake your head and motion for him to get on the bike. After a short pause, he comes towards you and climbs on behind you, griping your waist.

"You forgot your helmet again!"

You roll your eyes.

"And you forgot how freaking cold it is out here! Seriously, what made you think this was a good fucking idea?"

"It's not as if I was that far away. I could have made it!"

You start your bike again and head down the road, back the way you came.

"...-way."

You swear you hear Ishimaru mumble something behind you. Or maybe it just sounds like mumbling with how loud your bike can be.

"Wuzzat?"

"I said, thank you anyway! It was kind of you to come get me in this weather."

You shrug.

"Least I could do, since Chihiro was all worried 'bout you."

Ishimaru might have said something else, but it was all drowned out by the sound of you driving. It wasn't long before you reached the house again. You and Ishimaru climb off after you shut it off.

"Hm?"

You look over to see Ishimaru looking at the window with confusion. When you look over, you see the curtains quickly close, hiding whatever it was.

"The hell's going on in there?"

"I'm not sure. I saw Chihiro, Mukuro and Naegi watching for us from inside."

You watch the window for another second before a particularly strong gust of wind nearly knocks you over.

"Whatever, we'll figure it out once you get inside. C'mon."

You start towards the front door, grabbing Ishimaru's wrist on the way and dragging him along. He lets out a small sound of surprise, but soon keeps up with your pace.

You grab the doorknob and twist, opening the door. The first thing you see is a crowd of people, all staring at the two of you with wide, expectant grins. Creepy. The first to speak up is a blond girl holding hands with some emo boy in a black hat.

"Well...?"

You raise an eyebrow and look around the crowd.

"The hell are you all staring at? What kinda shit is this?"

You finally find Chihiro, Mukuro and Naegi in the crowd. Chihiro points up, above your head as Naegi does the same. Mukuro just glances between you and the spot above you. Taking the hint, you look up and see...

Mistletoe.

Oh.

Oh no.

Your face almost immediately goes beet red. Since when was that there? That was not there when you left! You glance to your side to see Ishimaru in a similar position, with his cheeks as red as his eyes. He looks back over at Naegi, Chihiro and Mukuro, with a look that you can't really describe. Chihiro looks almost apologetic, Naegi just laughs to himself, and Murkuro gives a rare smirk.

"Well? You gonna do it or what? Come on, don't keep us waiting!"

You recognize that voice as Naegi's sister, who you've seen before attached to Toko by the hip. You're not sure why she's so excited, she barely knows you.

As you think that, two hands suddenly grab the collar of your Christmas sweater and pull you down. You have just enough time to face him as Ishimaru kisses you. It's quick, too quick. His lips are dry and chapped, but somehow warm and comforting, like coming inside from a winter storm. You don't even have time to really react to it at all before he pulls away. When you see his face, it's somehow even redder than before, and he's avoiding eye contact altogether, instead staring at the ground in front of him. You...miss his warmth. The room erupts with cheers as the crowd disperses, soon ignoring and forgetting you and Ishimaru. Naegi, Chihiro and Mukuro approach you two.

"So...how'd you like our little surprise?"

If you could make yourself move in that moment, you would have probably thrown Naegi across the room for that stupid question.

"Suprise...?"

"D-Don't get mad! We just knew that you two liked each other, but wouldn't say anything, so we decided to set this up for you! Once you left to go get Ishimaru, I knew it was our chance, so we set it up and then everyone else got curious so we told them and then-"

"I think they get it."

As Chihiro rambles out an explanation, Mukuro stops him and reaches around you to take down the mistletoe.

No one says anything for a second.

"...Well! We'll leave you two be!"

After Naegi says that way to cheerfully, he takes Mukuro's hand and begins to leave, gesturing for Chihiro to do the same. Once they're gone, you finally turn your attention back to Ishimaru.

"...Why'd they hafta get a crowd around us? It woulda been much easier if it were just us two."

Ishimaru doesn't react to your comment. He seems nervous.

"Hey...s'alright, you don't gotta be nervous or anything. It's fine."

For such an intense guy, it's strange seeing him so quiet. You had to fix that. You chuckle to yourself before leaning down just slightly and press your lips to Ishimaru's forehead carefully.

You swear you hear a quiet yelp of surprise from him as you do it, but it's quickly silenced.

You pull back a second later, a content smile on your face. Ishimaru finally looks up at you, looking either surprised or as if he just realized something. Either way, it's kind of cute.

"I-I...Is this alright? Us being together like this, I mean."

You almost laugh at him for asking such a redundant question. To answer, you lean forward and finally give him a proper kiss.

This time, it's lasts just long enough. Ishimaru takes your hand into his and laces your fingers together. It's...pretty perfect. You pull away, wearing a smile. You rest your forehead against his, with your hands still together and noses almost touching.

"Does that answer your question?"

Ishimaru smiles.

[ittybitty-tittycommittee]

Alex Van Halen || 1

Hello?

Hi baby, it's me

Alex! I haven't heard from you in ages. How's the tour going?

It'd be better if you where here. I've been missing you like crazy... I'm sorry that I haven't been calling lately sugar, things have been a bit insane.

I know babe, I miss you too. I wish I could kiss you right now. I've been so lonely here without you.

Shit- Y/N, I gotta go. I'm sorry baby. I love you.

Yeah, Have fun. I love you too.

~

God, how Ive missed your laugh baby. The show last night was amazing, the crowd was wild! I wish you could've been there, you woulda loved it. And guess what...

What?

Only three more months until I get to hold you again!

What seriously?! I thought it was only a few more weeks, your not even going to be home for our anniversary

Um, well I might have forgot to mention that it got extended by a few shows

You know whatever it's fine. I've gotta go. Have fun.

~ "Hey baby, I know you can here this even if you didn't pick up and I also know your mad at me, but do me a favour and look out the front window."

What was he up to? you thought as you got up off the couch with a sigh. You readjusted your shirt as your socked feet made there way towards the window.

Opening the blinds you couldn't believe your eyes, there stood your boyfriend with a Bouquet of flowers.

You casually opened the door.

"Surprise?" He said reaching out for you "look, I know I messed up by not telling you about the extension,  but I pulled a few strings and now your finishing the tour with us!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, please don't be mad anymore?"

"I don't know, maybe we ought to go inside and you can show me how sorry you are" You said with a smirk.

The drummer immediately dragged you inside. "We have to leave in two hours" was the last thing he said before he attached your lips with his.

~ Ellie

[mrzassafras]

Part 1 and 2

SCRETTCHZ PAPPOW

CLINKCLINKCLICK

BAMWGH

:The sounds of cooking on high heat.

Ze was able to leave the sizzling contents on the stove for a moment, and leave the kitchen to call upstairs.

“Come on, it’s time to go,” ze calls up the stairs, hurrying back to the sizzling contents. The late afternoon light is strong and impressive. It warms the eyes.

*Feet in the upstairs hall and then down the stairs*

duhd duhd duhd… dudhd dudhd dudhd dudhd Dudhd Dudhd Dudhd Dudhd DUDHD DUDHD DHUDH dudhd-dudhd,

moving horizontally through the hall, acrobatically carrying a knotted pile of laundry, the boy couldn’t hold down his words,

“I DONT HAVEANYCLEAN C-LOTHE-Sss” *skrEET, DUP-TYP-CHP*, the sizzling continues

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier??”

“That smells gross”

“Well its not for you, here, gimme ur clothes, We’ll see if we can’t find you something.” The two of them knelt down on the kitchen floor, which was black and white checker-board tiles and a layer of grease. “Put this on”  *BIiNGg*  Ze recieved a notification, but decided not to look at it, since there were already too many pressing matters.

“i wore that one yesterday”

“I wore these pants yesterday, you can wear things if they don’t smell”

“oh kay??”

“You don’t believe me”

“no, i just forgot whut day it was… (sizzlessszz*pop*ziizilssss)… do u have to, have to work tonight??” Ze stands up worried about the sizzling contents.

“Nope! I get tonight all to myself! not a care to care about not caring about.”

“i don’t know what u mean”

“You will. Get dressed, you’re not a nudist” The boy flails around a bit, but manages to get a foot through the wrong leg before ze had to help him.

“ok… arent you going to be lonely when, when-you, dont have anyone to talk to?”

“No, I like being alone. hurry up.” ze turns off the stove and flings its contents to bowl and the counter. “You’re going to take those clothes back to your room right?”

“yes”

“and when you get there your going to call me right?”

“yess”

“how about a hug?”

“FAST, i gotto go, remeber?”

…

ze loved the long picturesque nights, laying horizontal and alone under the glowing pixels and the remedial tragedies presented by them. ze longed for the solitary bathtub with a cracked window from which, The Noise of cars being driven by people going to places, where ze did not have any reason to attend, moseyed in, to whisper in zirs ears and tell stories while taking a breather on the closed toilet, before resuming their journey onward as sound waves.

“Ya kno Hun,” Exhaling smoke from the drag they just took, “you really need to have someone around here more often”

“Why’s that?”

“You might forget how to talk”

“Has it ever happened to you?”

“Oh yah plenty of times. I was home-schooled up until high-school, and I know what your thinking, but let me tell you, the schools in my…”

“I don’t have any judgments about your upbringing”

“Well ok, I’ll take you’re word fo’ it… Any who, by the time I started high school at East Combustion-Chamber Accademy, I couldn’t say anything for an entire year. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, I just could not get a peep outta my lungs, but ya know what?”

“What”

“One day I just looked at my reflection in the petroleum and said ta my self, I said, ‘U gotta say something or else you’ll disapeare,’ and afta that, I jus’ opened my mouth up, and neva looked back, and ya gotta do that, ya just gotta start lookin at yerself, and let me tell ya, I woulda neva done that if it weren’t for my sis tellin me I gotta start lookin out fer ma-self.”

ze took a sip a drink, and The Noise put out their cigarette in the sink before dropping it in the trash.

“Ya know, when I was yer age, I had all kindsa lovas, I was mad about all of em. All my friends were lovas. Ya gotta lova right? pretty thing like you?””

“Err thanks, you’re not coming on to me?”  

“EHHHHAACAHH, COFF, COFF coff coff… ahha, I’m flattered, No way, no way, I don’t date anyone that won’t understand my references, ehehe”

“Oh, well, that is a… a good rule to have I guess”

“Ya know it hun, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, ehe, I’ve got all kindsa rules. Like not putting on a shirt while walking down stairs. Ya trip while doin that shit, ya ain’t got no hands to catch ya self with.”

“Noted, thanks for the tip.”

“Well then, its been nice talking to ya, but my bad knees is actin up, so I been sittin here too long. I should shut up, and get on ma-way.”

“Thats alright, I am about to get gecko fingers if I sit in this water any longer, its been nice talking to ya.”

“Right-back-at-yas, Take care.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Worth leaving your park for? Carly: fun Carly: he likes you more but its k cuz so do i Ali: nah Ali: he was so 😍 for the whole sitch I thought he might genuinely explode on sight Ali: it was fun tho, you were so good Carly: that would've been disappointing Carly: he was better than i thought hed be Carly: lads that cocky dont usually come through Carly: youre always good Ali: yeah, i'll give him that Ali: obviously overhyped himself but all lads do Ali: worth it to see my baby work it Ali: and i hope not 😉 Ali: though u can tell my Ma that, get me off the hook, like Carly: not just lads me too Carly: never seen you play someone like that before tho Carly: we gonna try this on caleb next or Carly: she scares me more than your ex but still would Carly: for you my baby Ali: how can you, you're perfect Ali: i know, crossing lads but not each other back then, babe Ali: not mad, not exactly my finest hour but wouldn't hate having met you sooner Ali: idk if it'd work on him Ali: he's not as dumb as Drew, bless him 😘 Ali: felt weird being at his house, woulda died if any of them had come back, like 😂 Ali: never mind my Ma, have you ever seen his? Carly: you're too sweet Carly: i kno cuz you wanna treat him nice like you do me Carly: not how you did drew hot as that was tho Carly: nah thats the first time ive been there & mas w sons give me space like Carly: sorry we should have brought him back to here my bad Ali: blah shut up 😏 Ali: obvs I wanna ride him too but idk Ali: gives off #loyal vibes to me so probs not a goer Ali: Well you know, had to show you what a real girl on girl on boy threesome was all about, boo Ali: nah, it added to the experience Ali: whatever it was, it wasn't boring Carly: i kno that he gives off 😍 for you Carly: & you like him Carly: catch you in his room collecting hair or w ever to put a spell on the boy Carly: when you could just do it the easy way Carly: aw never boring when im w you girl Carly: youve shown me a lot Ali: There's definitely attraction but I don't really know him Ali: Only see some people at parties, he's one of 'em Ali: like you said, we didn't properly SEE each other 'til now, did we? same kinda vibe Ali: my rep proceeds me 💀 Ali: where's the fun in easy? Ali: besides, I'm with you, and you're so fucking cute Ali: who else I need Carly: k but if you want him to see you you've gotta get out there Carly: if you can turn me you can make him forget your rep Carly: got the magic baby you kno Carly: you're cuter Carly: making me blush Ali: you're right Ali: work on being MORE extra Ali: the world ain't ready 😉 Carly: me either Carly: you're also so hot Carly: unfair Carly: if you get more Ali: baby Ali: making me miss you already Ali: that's what's unfair Carly: can i be at yours later tho Carly: my parents are fighting about me & think idk Carly: bitch its a caravan Ali: That's fun Ali: about parenting styles or? Ali: Of course you can Ali: I share a room with Ro though remember, so, best behaviour Carly: ha Carly: theyve got no flair Carly: about to throw this washing up bowl at my ma as my contribution to the convo Carly: shit i forgot Carly: maybe i shouldnt come over then Ali: trying to think of a witty one-liner for when you do Ali: all i've got is 'this convo is as dull as dishwater' lemme workshop it, hold fire boo Ali: nah, please come Ali: lmao, flashbacks to Drew there but forreal Ali: we can sleep on the sofa if needs Carly: lads are so funny Carly: i thought he was gonna cry w he thought we'd changed our minds Carly: good stash tho Carly: only reason my ma still running her mouth about me Carly: well zen Ali: another night crywanking Ali: gutting Ali: yeah, and you see all that fancy shit in his room, clearly on his big badman hype Carly: cant ever bring him here Carly: never hear the end Ali: gonna have trouble keeping him away now, babe Ali: 💦 Carly: only if youre here Carly: you speak the local lingo yea? Ali: Gabh mo leithscéal? Ali: 😏 Carly: wtf Carly: you could've just said yea babe Ali: could've but i'm a showoff Carly: cant act like i dont love it now Ali: can but it'd be a blatant lie Ali: right tongue workout, Gaelic, like Carly: thatll be why you bothered & i never Carly: very gay of you Ali: odds already stacked against me being 50% scum Ali: had to do what i could, babe Carly: help me out then Carly: my da's trying to start a fight w ronan's da who dont even speak english Carly: funny or fucked that he thinks thats where i go Carly: guaranteed his da is calling me a slag while my dad does the same Carly: ha Ali: 😒 Ali: fight for your honour or gtfo Ali: So stupid Ali: want me to rock up translator cum where you've been wasting your time? Carly: i told em all ive been too busy having 3ways w you & the golden god but they aren't having it Carly: gonna have to give you all a show, am i lads that aint what you want da but its what ill do k Carly: walking away before they start kissing themselves Carly: the tension Ali: Oh, middle-aged straight men Ali: never far away from a crisis or homoerotic awakening Ali: Join the club Carly: grab another beer lads itll be alright Carly: im not knocked up or running off with your lad Carly: do wanna get out of here tho Ali: Oh he is not potential baby daddy material at all Ali: Please Ali: come over or you wanna go somewhere else Ali: think my Da is firing up the BBQ, another staple of manliness Ali: sure we can keep him from brawling and strictly on the burgers tho Carly: who is Carly: get me on the ferry before you get me down the aisle Carly: k im walking Carly: keep me company babe Ali: valid Ali: benefits of being a gay is no awkward hush hush trips to England Ali: of course Carly: if only my parents believed i like you Carly: get back to slagging me off for other shit Carly: irish at me again. i liked it Ali: Bit offended, like, have you seen me guys? I'm a sensation Carly: i dont think they know who you are sorry Ali: Tá tuillte agat ar fud an domhain, Carly Walsh Ali: at least I can dramatically ask 'em then and really fucking mean my shock horror Carly: if you don't live on site you don't exist Carly: do i need to be offended at what you're saying about me in that gay tongue twister Ali: everyone got their own bubble Ali: i found out the world extends beyond the end of my street tho but you do you lads, it is easier that way Ali: tho not safer, ask ginge 😈 Ali: i hope not Ali: was nice, promise Carly: i wanna see more of it than this Carly: like you said wheres the fun in easy Carly: shit yea shes your ronan like Carly: she gonna show herself at the bbq Carly: i believe you, you don't kno how to be anything else to me even if you should Ali: You will Ali: Make sure of it Ali: I've shown you the stars, gonna show you the wonders on this world too, scout's honour Ali: omg, so is Ali: although she doesn't occasionally come by when she's horny Ali: so we're safe Ali: she'd never trust me serving her a bevvy, like 🧙‍♀️ #witchesbrew Ali: why should I? don't be telling me what to do woman 😜 Carly: maybe she should Carly: she might be less sad and mad once she's had a ride w you Carly: you gonna play like you don't like it now Carly: just in the bedroom k hear you Ali: I'll put it out there Ali: get ready to cover my bruises this time Ali: 😏 Ali: time and a place, baby Carly: if you're showing her what real magic is she can't be mad Carly: but if she is she can go through me i got you girl Carly: wont beat me a second time like Ali: my lil million dollar baby Ali: into it Carly: your sister would be too Carly: not in the same way but would get her on side Ali: she's so on side Ali: now she knows you ain't tryna be my bosom bud like that Carly: she still dont vibe w me tho Carly: i kno it wasnt just that Ali: she's just shy, don't worry Ali: no one out here you need to impress but me and i already am Carly: what about your ma and da Carly: i kno they arent shy Carly: how do you want me to play that Ali: just be you you don't gotta do anything more or less baby Carly: im scared Ali: you don't have to be, I swear, Ma's not as bad as she 👀 and my Da's a big softie Ali: you can just come as my friend, they aren't gonna pry Carly: k Carly: i trust you Carly: itll be fun yea Ali: s2g Ali: you can meet Tommo, you'll like him Ali: and your fave will be dying for your attention, obvs Carly: mystery boy Carly: is he hot like your other brothers Ali: i'm not gonna confirm or deny 'cos bit weird Ali: also potentially rude if I nah it 'cos I reckon he ain't your type Ali: I cannot promise hot brothers making an appearance but you might get 🍀 Carly: hot sister then Carly: I dont mean my fangirl but the older one Ali: package deal with the freckly one Ali: not rock, weirddd Ali: but see, so ready with the compliments they're gonna 💚 u Carly: he's hot too Carly: & you kno i think the littlest is such a cutie Carly: but i dont wanna compliment anyone but you Ali: I'm not gonna complain about that Carly: better not cuz im almost at yours Carly: its too hot to turn around & walk back Ali: yay! Ali: lemme come get you Ali: i wanna kiss you before we have to be social Carly: i want you to kiss me whenever you feel like it Ali: might just take you up on that Carly: do cuz it means i can too Ali: deal 💚