#so fun to have people think i'm just throwing out half baked thoughts and not data driven analysis

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

.

[lucky-bucky-boy]

omg local baker who Mike has baking abbys bday cake but he has a crush on her ????

Oh my God this is so cute to me. I wanna run a coffee shop/mini bakery and this is just perfect and beautiful omg

I'm writing this with the idea that fnaf happened but didn't *happen* like no one died lmao

~~

Mike wasn't sure what to expect. At all.

It had been an incredibly tough year, each day somehow becoming more rough than the previous. From mom passing, to job hopping, to Aunt Jane trying to get the courts even more involved. Despite all that, he did his damndest to not let it affect Abby.

He knew in some aspects it was inevitable. A young child losing a parent was never easy; she heard his grumbling and arguments with Aunt Jane, the comments about not being able to pay Max, found papers he should have hidden a little better

But birthdays and holidays were sacred. That he made sure of.

So, against his pride and better judgement, he had asked Aunt Jane for a little help throwing Abby a birthday party. She was more than happy to, surprisingly, with the agreement they come up for Thanksgiving this year. And begrudgingly, he agreed.

That's how he ended up at the doorstep of a brick townhouse closer to the city, a paper in his hand with an address scrawled in his Aunt's too neat handwriting. She'd given him a list of stores and things and places and people to get everything from in order to throw a "proper birthday party."

He did a double take on the numbers and street address, making sure they matched and still slightly confused as to why he was at a person's house and not a store. With a shrug and a tired sigh, he knocked on the door, the scurrying of animals evident inside almost immediately followed by a "shush" as he heard another door shut before the one in front of him went to open.

He didn't know what to expect, and sure as hell didn't expect to have a girl a little younger than him open the door, an apron on and covered in flour. She looked almost frazzled for a moment before shutting the door behind her, eyes moving from the curious furry creatures to the man now in front of her.

"Hi, sorry," she sounded almost as tired and exasperated as he did, "been a busy day, and my lovely little fur-babies have been noisy."

She wiped her hands on her apron, "I - I don't think we've met before." Her eyebrows were scrunched, confusion etching into her features.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. I'm Mike. My uh- my Aunt Jane suggested you to me. Told me you make the best cakes and cupcakes and gave me your address to place an order."

He could see the cogs working in her brain as she tried to pin poin who he was talking about, "Oh! That's right, she gave me a call the other day to make sure I'd have the time. You need the order for next Saturday, right?"

He nodded, "Yeah, next Saturday at noon."

"Perfect, yes. Come in, we'll fill out the forms and get everything set. My pets are actually in the front room so you don't have to worry about them."

A cup of coffee, a curious conversation, and too many forms later, Mike felt like he was in a dream. The girl sitting across the table from him was captivating, a sense of excitement and passion he longed to have and admired. There was a sweetness to her, something he was sure he'd be able to taste in more ways than just her baking skills.

"Okay," her voice cut through his thoughts, "So, we're doing 24 cupcakes, half chocolate and half vanilla, then a 9 inch rounch cake with mint chocolate. And it's rainbow, fairy, unicorn, princess themed. Does that all sound right?"

He chuckled and nodded, "Yeah, sorry I couldn't give you more specifics. She's sort of all over the place and it's a surprise party."

"Oh no, don't worry. I'm going to have fun with this. Does she like glitter?"

He nodded again before taking a quick sip of his coffee. "Yeah, yeah. She loves glitter. Her favorite thing to do is draw as well."

"Perfect. Well, Mike, you're definitely more pleasant than your Aunt," she laughed softly, standing up and placing the form in a little file holder, "But don't tell her I said that. I'll send her the bill tomorrow. I hope Abby loves the cake."

Mike stood up, a tinge of disappointment that their interaction was coming to an end so soon. "I'm sure she will. She loves sweet." He sat his coffee cup in the sink. "So uh, when should I pick up the cake?"

"Oh! Don't worry about it. Jane invited me to the party so I'll just bring it all with me, I could use the networking with other parents so it works out."

His eyes widen some, lips twitching up into a small smile. "Okay, cool. I'll uh, I'll see you next week." He hesitated for a moment before grabbing a rogue napkin and the pen he was using to fill out the forms, quickly scribbling something onto it.

"Here," he handed her the napkin, "My number in case uh, in case you wanna talk more." He paused for a moment, watching her eyes scan the numbers, "For the uh. The cake. The party."

She giggled softly, looking at him as his features began to blush. "Yeah. For the cake and the party."

He chuckled anxiously, "Thanks again. I'll see you later." Mike let himself out before he could make himself even more embarrassed, standing on the porch for a moment after he closed the door behind him, unaware that the sweet baker was inside quietly squealing over the poorly written number.

[astheworldgoesonitswickedway]

I'm officially here to rant about Fernald. (the hook-handed man) Please don't come for me but I think it's time we stop romanticizing the character and pretending he's something he isn't. Okay, I get it. He's funny. Genuinely funny, not just "they set up a few good jokes funny." I too, love his relationship with Sunny. And yes, like many of our characters he had a traumatic past. Let's get started with Anwhistle Aquatics. Here's the thing. The Medusoid Mycellium getting out could quite literally have started the apocalypse. Sure there was a cure, but who really has horseradish (or a substitute) on hand? Without widespread knowledge of the cure or the cure itself such a fast acting poison could have destroyed a good portion of the world. (I know it sounds dramatic but hey, the poison was created to kill in an hour, so it is that serious) Okay so, I understand why Fernald felt they had to be stopped. But at the very least he killed Gregor Anwhistle. Which killing people was the very thing he was trying to stop? What he did was wrong, but I suppose we can understand why someone would be driven to that if they felt the world was at stake. Again, so not saying it's okay. I am not condoning that. But this shows us he willingly participated in murder, and without Olaf. Which brings me to my greatest point. His actions WITH Olaf. This time around, there was no "do the ends justify the means" to blur the lines. For one, especially in the books but also in the show, Fernald displays not only willingness to participate in Olaf's many schemes, and allow the kids to be abused, he himself is unnecessarily cruel for no reason other than apparently, he enjoys being cruel. I always thought the Miserable Mill was maybe the best example of this but also the Carnivorous Carnival. For two, Fernald was accomplice to who knows how much murder and arson. So Fernald had a rough past, so did Olaf and we don't try to excuse him! So V.F.D. no doubt threw Fernald away after the Anwhistle Aquatics incident, and what that means joining Olaf is okay? No! Who knows what horrible things he did before the Baudelaires arrived on the scene, who knows how many murders Fernald participated in and even committed with his own hands. (or rather hooks you know what I mean) In the Slippery Slope, Olaf ordered Fernald to throw a baby off a cliff and Olaf certainly didn't seem to think he would have any trouble following that order. And hey, to make it personal, how about Monty?! We all love Monty. He was amazing. Unlike many others he cared about the Baudelaires and he would have been a great guardian to them. I think he would have told them everything once they got to Peru. Well you know what? Fernald participated in Monty's murder. Yeah, I get it. Olaf did the deed. Still. And I know what you're thinking, Fernald left Olaf's troupe. Well that was a half baked redemption arc if you ask me. Fernald didn't leave because he suddenly realized he was wrong and developed morals. Fernald left because Olaf would have hurt the one person in the world he actually cared about. And yes, I loved Fiona and Fernald being siblings. It was kind of sweet watching him protect her. But it seems from his point of view, murder and abuse is okay as long as it's someone else's sister. Just not his. Despite his sweet protectiveness, that's also really selfish. And it's the same logic he used for Sunny. His little soft spot for her makes me smile. It's actually adorable. BUT. It is also selfish. Hurting Sunny, a literal infant, was all fun and games until he cared about her. ( okay well in the show he was hesitant from the beginning and in the book I don't think he ever cared about her but still) And let's not forget the way book Fernald harassed Violet. Need any more be said about THAT? Anyway, in conclusion, I understand the fandoms draw to the character and I can appreciate the things about him which make us laugh and smile, and which make us WANT to like him. All I'm saying is we should probably acknowledge those things don't change the fact that like Olaf, he is a murderous villain.

[madrabit]

for the fic ask game: 🍑🫐

Hey, thank you for the ask ☺️💖 my rambling got a bit long, sorry for that!

If you also want to send me some fruits 🫐🍒🍓🥭🍏, feel free to do so!! 💗✨️

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

Mhmm… that question is very interesting, but I think this is a good way to combine one of my favorite TV series with our silly Slovenian soft bois.

(Okay, so this is gonna be long and rambly and I only have a half baked knowledge of the show and I have not read the books, just to warn you!)

In this post I already compared Bojan and Jan with Quentin and Eliot from The Magicians and I still think it's a very good comparison! (Mostly looks wise, character wise they are a little different, even though both Quentin and Bojan have anxiety, but Q has some more stuff going on that I hope Bojči doesn't).

It's the hand on the neck for me omg. God maybe I should do another post about them...

I would so love to see Jan and Bojan and all the others ngl as students in Brakebills or maybe in Fillory, I'm sure Bojan and Nace would love the talking animals, while Jure would be so into the Flying Forest (it's opium laced, I'm sure kitty would have fun).

Also, I absolutely love magical AUs and them at a magical College would be such an interesting thought. And all the different disciplines are so much fun to play with!

Bojan: He would definitely be one of the physical kids. He'd have a good grip on telekinesis, maybe even be able to do some fire manipulation and some minor mending (small object reparation). Although one might argue he could also be an empath, I wouldn't wanna put him in the psychic discipline, since a lot of psychics have a base level of telepathy and I think it only would make him even more anxious and I really wouldn't want that ngl. But since the physical kids are also quite social (and the best party people), I think it fits very well with him.

Jan: also strikes me as either a physical kid or one of the psychics. I feel like he'd be able to focus on fire manipulation and cold magic, but telekinesis and phosphoromancy (light bending) also seem like a good fit for him and honestly, I think he'd be able to at least be able to work a few different disciplines easier than usual. For some reason I feel if he were a psychic, he'd had the discipline of either telepathy or precognition, maybe even astral projection, but I'd rather say he's a physical kid, him and Bojan would throw the best parties.

Nace: He is a lil harder, for me he's either a physical kid or a healer. If he were a physical kid I 100% think his discipline would be mending, both major and minor, maybe also with a dash of telekinesis, but healing magic also seems like a good fit for him. He's nurturing, an absolute sweetheart and he has that calming presence and seems like he loves being helpful which would make him a perfect healer (those traits also would fit very well with mending btw). 

But he's not only that. He's chaotic, he's a silly goose who sometimes can be a bit thoughtless in what he says and doesn't realise sth might come off a bit wrong and I'm sure he's not that innocent little bean we make him out to be, at least not all the time. So while that obviously doesn't prevent him from being a healer, I think he'd be a good fit for the physical kids.

Kris: I feel like he'd be one of the few students of knowledge trying to understand how magic works. Since Knowledge is a mix of psychic and physical magic, I feel it might be a good fit for him. There aren't a lot of disciplines, but I think meta-composition (taking spells apart and understanding the separate components and maybe even creating new spells) would be a good thing for him. On the other hand I think he might also have some illusion magic, but mostly knowledge. He also gives me major Julia vibes in that regard.

Jure: I feel like Jure would most likely be a naturalist. He spends a lot of time in nature, seems grounded by it and seems to use it as a way to recharge, so I think it would fit him quite well. Nature magic can either be focused on the weather, which would fit with the sunshine kitty, or on plants.

But he also could be an illusionist. I'm sure he'd be quite good at vanishing, cloaking and invisibility, since he manages to keep a lot of stuff private and stay under the radar, just as I think he might like.

For some reason, I also think he might even be able to do inter-dimensional travel (like Penny), idk why, but I just think it would fit him.

(Also, magicians have to be good with their fingers, so I think the boys would be good at it)

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Ohhhhh, that answer is so very obvious 🤭 I think a lot of ships are underrated. First, I'd obviously say BoJance, my favorite little throuple! These three fit so well together, but there aren't a lot of fics. The same goes for BoJan (although the work count has increased there and I love it so much!!) and BoNace and I just wish more ppl would write for them.

And as a surprise, I think one other criminally underrated ship is JuKris!

[agniyagrif]

look . Listen to me funny shape girl I came to you initially for your funny jrwi shapes but now I NEED to hear about your OCs. Do you understand I Am locked in I Am interested. Any details you have on any of them I Would love to hear about. You've lured me in with your strange shapes and captivating ideas and now I would Like to hear your Homemade Character Thoughts pretty pretty please /nf

Ah that's sweet) Ah)))

I planned to write about them something anyway BUT SINCE YOU ASKING WELL- I now just have to oooh haha)

Well ok, I have many ocs because I like different creatures i draw and i just HAVE TO give them some personality and then I don't want to just throw them away(( (unless like... I forget about them of course haha)

Recently I remembered about my old Minecraft pony ocs that i wanted to turn into humans or something and so i did it. I turned them into creatures, gave them again some personality because they didn't have much and put them at my setting Omniplan where I put most of my ocs now because this setting just build for that.

Anyway here they go

I posted them at like... Other... Site... You know. BUT HERE I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM MORE HEHE! I call them Sitcom Five because I thought they had such... Vibes. Don't know, maybe they don't actually or won't in the future but I like the name anyway)

OKAY I'm putting more info under here)))

Oh no that's a lot of text... oh no what have i doneeee...

Also cw: S E X (i just mention that it exists and that's all haha. I for some reason feel the need to say that idk... I'm- I'm stupid ok?)

So here some general info about them and maybe later I will write more) because I have more)

These five (Lutic not with them)... People, let's just say people, live together at a house near woods... 30 minutes(?) away from local town. Half of them aren't very social and all of them quite content with living away from town, just with this group. Also none of them are local. Well... They live here so they are? I mean none of them were born there, in town.

So first, Edvin. He's the owner of the house. This place used to be maybe a part of town? There are some ruins of houses around them but nobody lives there. Edvin got this house maybe from his relatives. He fixed it and since he didn't need much and house was too big to just live alone in it he decided to rent out rooms. And don't know how much time passed but Carrot, Alex and Gleam became permanent residents of the house. And recently Peter moved in.

So Edvin. He's the oldest, serious and hardworking. Used to be a sailor (because many lizard folk are sailors and well I don't have anything original for his background). He works as blacksmith in the town or take some other physical work. Sends money to the family. Ah... Old mother and his sister. (If i had nickel for every lizard man i had that sends money to his sister i would have two nickels. Idk why i don't wanna think about itANYWAY) He loves to make weapons, make them like pretty and stuff like light knives with elegant handles and engravings on blades. Some masterpiece to be proud of. But unfortunately he doesn't get such orders often. So he just works all day and then sleeps at home.

Next Carrot) She's a siren which in my setting are a kind of bird people who have wings at hands. They also stereotypically like... Hedonistic? Is it the right word? Probably not... Don't bother about stuff, live to have fun and enjoy pleasures. Cheerful, carefree, colorful birds. And well Carrot is stereotypical siren. She likes gardening and cooking. She loves to bake and sometimes sells goods in the town. She also often cooks for others in the house. Ah... She's vegetarian. She probably leaves the house during winter, flies to some warm place. She's never sad. She likes to drink sometimes, sing, dance, laugh and sleep around.

Alex is often annoyed by her.

Alex is another bird person in the house but this time he's an avian which in setting are bird people with wings on their back. His mother is avian and his father is siren. So he has some siren traits in his character. He's also my favourite eugh... He almost never leaves house by which i mean he dislikes to go to town and talk to people there. Any people other then his neighbours to which he's used to. He kinda... Ah... Selfish? A thoughtless person? By which I mean he often doesn't think about other people if they're not in front of him. He doesn't even writes to his mother although he does love her, she's a good woman. He's like... Not malicious, but yeah. Just in his own world i guess. And his world right now is this house. He's a mechanic(?) engineer (?) he likes to work on different machines. Maybe he makes some toys or fixes clocks and stuff or even repairs local robots (YEAH THERE ARE ROBOTS IN THE SETTING I KNOW I KNOW SHUT UP). He likes to do that.

Speaking of his siren ahhhh side... Well maybe it's ehhh... Presented(?) in his thoughtlessness. But it's also presented in him being fucking horny. He really annoyed by this because it results in intrusive thoughts which doesn't help with him being already quite awkward. He overthinks stuff a lot sometimes too. (I don't actually know what is cause and what is the result here so maybe I'm wrong somewhere here anyway) He tries to fight(?) it. Like he does physical exercises, focuses on work, drinks some... Stuff idk that Carrot recommends him. And he gets really annoyed at Carrot after she tells him to just relax about that. He probably also jealous of her because he also wants to just not care about that.

how dare that shithead get 2 paragraphs??? Well it's because he's my favourite anyway...

Gleam ah... She's stone demon. (Nothing religious just people with horns) :') i have very little info about her... I feel guilty. I'm sure, I'll fix it sometime later. She often is not at home but she pays and Edvin is content with that. But they end up giving her room to the new resident (Peter) because she didn't actually even used her room. So... She likes to cause chaos? Maybe she does something illegal when she's away or maybe she saves kittens(probably not). She doesn't talk about it anyway so i don't even have to think about Haha!) I'm kidding... Well yeah. Chaos. She likes to break and burn stuff and fight. That's what she does. And then she comes home and just sits as a rock (ha) while Carrot rambles and laughs about her day to her. They are girl friends) not girlfriends though( because Carrot doesn't want any commitment. But yeah they like to hang out together. Kinda fun dynamic I think) that's all about her :' | maybe she likes to bully Alex by breaking his stuff... That dynamic was in their pony versions, so...

Next Peter)))) he's bard. He has a guitar or something similar I'll think about that. He used to travel around the land before he settled here. He goes to town to play and get some money. Chill guy, kind and hard to get angry. Likes to chew grass and lay on it under warm sun. The most sociable and caring among them. Well i guess Carrot is quite sociable too... Anyway, everyone likes him just because he's so nice and chill. Just a ray of sunshine anywhere he goes. Ah... I need to say something negative about him... Or it's a boring character... Not quite negative but maybe he doesn't have any plans for the future? He doesn't have anything going on in his life right now? Maybe he's not content with his music? Like everyone likes it, it sounds nice. Nice enough to earn money. But that's all. Maybe he wants it to be more impactful, maybe it's not good enough. Or it seems to never be good enough for him. Maybe it makes him sad but he doesn't want to show it to others so he just smiles and keeps being caring ray of sunshine.

Heeeyyy... What is this depressing shit doing in my funny ocs hey... I made them to do funny loser things haha and make out. It's time to end before i care about them too much. Haha)

I had a thought to make him a pushover... Well... He's kinda? He doesn't say no a lot, when it comes to help or just some activity and he can tolerate even some quite rude behaviour towards him but it's because well he just goes with a flow, likes to help or if we talking about rudeness he used to travel a lot and well why he would start a conflict with a person if he goes away the next day? So he just became used to just be quiet and go away if he doesn't feel comfortable and then forget about this experience. But he does have some boundaries and he will tell about them if he can't leave. He can stand up for himself if he needs to. But he rather stand up for his friends thought when it comes to it.

Ok and Lutic) She's Edvin's little sister. She's a bright and kind girl. Likes flowers and cute animals and not very cute ones, like insects (it's not an animaSHUT UP OK I'M TRYING). Everyone in the house loves her like she's their own little sister and everyone behaves their best when she visits and entertain her as they can. They are so normal that Edvin is kinda surprised and frustrated about that. But it's a good thing so he can't even get mad about it. It's just funny yeah.

EGH I WANTED TO WRITE A LITTLE:'/

ANYWAY

So if you read that, the person who is reading it. You now can look at different shitty and not shitty pictures i have of them)

This is about Lutic visiting

Both birds find Peter attractive. But like also... Well Edvin said that already...

And dynamics) Girls being friends and bros being bros. Though... Now i draw and write a lot of situations with Alex being awkward dumbass. But they do hang out together. Because Alex finds Peter cool (and ghm attractive...) and also he doesn't demand from birdman any commitment as a friend and Peter is chill and likes to hang out.

I wanted to make this kind of a... Things with them for fun but couldn't find any good enough. So i have only this. Idk I googled it or found on Pinterest, I'm sorry idk

GIGGLES HAHA... WELL... IT'S FUN TO PUSH CHARACTERS ON EACH OTHER HAHA. IT'S LIKE A CLASSIC OR STH (I'm cringe.) Anyway it's not canon... Well... I just tried to write a situation but it's not quite what i wanted. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING KISS HIM LIKE THAT i know, it's canon but it's one of the Alex's modest dreams

Just a little thing

Again. Guess my favourite.

Alex probably does have a body pillow if they have them in the setting idk... He also certainly have some magazines with pretty bird ladies and big hot (beast) man. Totally reads them "for the plot and characters and like relationships and stuff" Carrot teases him about that and he HATES her for that(((

Horny birds. I sympathise with Alex but I also will call him a loser and do want to strangle him and throw into the wall.

Somehow too much gays so I'm apologising even if you probably don't care about that.

I clearly have a favourite guy and favourite relationships... Well... I'm not really a good ocs owner. I just want to draw them kissing or something and haha funny

IT ENDED I LIKED TO WRITE ABOUT THEM THANKS:)

maybe i write more if i have at least 1 picture to put above it...

[kentwells]

Tell me about hunger games characters as skaters RIGHT NOW.

If u do I might tell you about my half baked clato ice skater au and tbosas ice skater au.

Anyways how are the careers at skating do we think?

- destroyed-by-clato

HELLO. SOAPBOX. also PLEASE tell me abt ur aus. i love figure skating aus. especially from people who know about skating good god i cannot do this anymore do u know how many times i have clicked out of a fs au fic for inaccuracy.

okay. SO. obviously the careers are good. i... think the capitol... is not a bad rusfed analogy. because of all of the spectacle and the intense idea that all of these kids are going to fight as their bodies are breaking down and then they will be replaced by younger, more talented kids.

okay here are my career skating thoughts. it is ACTUALLY the elite sport they would all be involved in if they were normal. clove died because she wanted to monologue. that's a drama queen right there. clove in general ... idk i think of medvedeva for her? like SO solid. So gritty. it might not be elegant but it is going to Happen and she is going to win no questions asked whatsoever. her throwing a million knives perfectly in training is the same energy as medvedeva doing triple triple triples on practice ice to freak out her competitors.

i am alsooo kind of obsessed with the idea of cato and clove doing pairs bc a) she is very short & he is very tall b) partners for life.

glimmer is best dressed alwaysss. that's just how she is.

idk if anyone is familiar with polina edmunds' podcast but it is basically 20 minutes of her dunking on everyone and telling people to improve their technique. unless she's confused in which case she pretends its perfect. i'm obsessed with it. anyways that's so career coded it's insane <3 their convos are 80% making fun of everyone else end of story.

sorry this took me fucking forever but!!! love skating love careers! yay!

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Cupid's Last Wish Episode 1 - A Collection of Random Thoughts.

Earth and Mix may be headlining this drama but don't be fooled, the real stars of the show are the cows 🐮

Who knew that picking cow names could make for the cutest opening scene ever? Korn and Win just lounging together, teasing each other and feeding each other as they work through a list of names like they're about to name their own child? FRICKIN ADORABLE.

Live calf birth was a bit of a surprise but part of me suspects Mix was in his element and is probably the reason it looks so realistic.

I also want a Katin plush doll please and thank you 🙏 (also I might not be an expert but I do embroider and, judging by the stitch Korn was using, Win was sitting giggling and watching him stitch for at least half an hour. Plan ahead next time Korn)

Not going to lie I'm a bit confused about when Win's dad died. I thought it had been a while but they're also just having his funeral so it's actually quite recent?

Damn Win went from "He's family and more useful to the farm than you" to "gtfo of my house you snake" real quick 😳

Love a good throwing clothes off the balcony at your cheating lover scene, even if the person having their clothes thrown at them is not a lover or a cheater. 10/10 on the drama queen scale.

1 year later and we still hate Korn (and everyone else?) for reasons I don't really get but sure.

NGL Win the on site bakery is a great idea and would probably help the farm's finances quite a bit. I don't know many people who'd travel to just go and see a working dairy farm for fun but if you offered them fancy cakes at the end of it....

I giggled the entire way through the cake baking scene, I couldn't take a single thing seriously I'm so sorry Korn 😂

Not a huge fan of Win constantly blowing up at Lin and his mum. I get he's stressed and angry but just no. It's just not a good vibe and watching him tower over them and drag them around as they cry...

Win may be in Lin's body now but he will remain consistent even if it kills him: Korn Must Die.

One accidental hug and Win is no longer out for blood (can't blame him we've all seen Earth's body arms). Also I think Korn knows, right? One touch and that man knows he's got an armful of dairy-fueled anger problems.

I'm a bit (a lot) confused about the inheritance issues and why Win is so apoplectically angry about everything (to the point of being genuinely awful to everyone around him) but over all a solid first episode. There's definitely a lot of chemistry between Win and Korn when Win isn't out for blood which shouldn't really be a surprise given its Mix and Earth. Really looking forward to seeing the story unfold next episode (and also maybe get some explanations) so Cupid's Last Wish continues to be a watch.

Watch It Or Drop It Challenge Masterpost

[xoxoemynn]

Was tagged by @wistfulcynic to share my writing process, fun! Tagging @abigailpents, @red-sky-in-mourning, @montygreen, @gayhoediaz, aaaaand....I think I've already seen all my writer mutals active on Tumblr tagged in this BUT if you have not been, please consider yourself tagged.

Do you write in order? I do. I have to. I will happily tell other people that if they're stuck, they should skip the scene and come back later, but when I try to do it, I fail. My brain just won't let me proceed with the next until I know exactly what happens in the moments leading up to it, because WHAT IF SCENE A INFLUENCES SCENE B? I do wish I could jump around, but I can't.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? Pretty damn finished. I may go back in and add some flourishes, but overall, I'd say it's about 95% there.

How many drafts do you go through? Depends if it's a one shot or something like WTDB. One shots usually it's first draft, possibly pass it off to a beta reader, revised draft, and then I do another round of editing once I upload to AO3 because I swear I always find new things to fix once I see it in a totally new format, bringing us to a total of three. WTBD? Depending on the chapter, but usually looking at five or six.

Tell me about your process. I've realized I have two non-negotiables. The first is music. Sometimes I don't have music on because I feel like I need to Focus and it turns out I just don't write anything. I created a writing playlist for WTDB that basically just became my writing playlist, period, because my brain now associates it with writing. Other non-negotiable is an outline. I need one. Even if it's just bullet points. Every time I try to pants it I just end up spinning my wheels until I give in and jot at least a few notes down.

Again, I'd say one shots are different than a longer piece like WTDB. One shot I come up with an idea, write down the gist of the idea and maybe key lines/details I want to include because my memory is shit and I WILL forget. Then I just open up the ole Google doc and get going. I'm a simple lady.

WTDB was a totally different ballgame. I used Scrivener for that, and I can't imagine writing something of that length without it. I had a tab for each character, as well as pages for key settings, descriptions, references, etc. before I officially started writing. Especially with the intro character background stories, I was often shimmying sections around, and Scrivener made it really easy to do that. Then I'd write a chapter, immediately send it off to @margotandthefox for a pulse check off "does this make sense, does this work, does anything stand out to you as off?" Get it back, make edits. Once I had a nice chonk together, I'd send off to @monksofthescrew to beta that entire section of chapters. I'd then do some initial revisions, then another round when it's actually time for the chapter to go up, and a final one on AO3. (Although with ch. 5 I skipped AO3 because I had already been looking at it so much and it was weirdly liberating.)

Also I'd be remiss if I didn't mention I'd be lost without @margotandthefox, who frequently lets me just throw half-baked ideas at her, sometimes via rambling text, sometimes rambling audio message, and work through areas when I'm stuck. Highly, highly recommend you get a friend like that. 💕

Only other note I thought I'd share is I read my writing out loud as I edit, which was a trick I learned from my days as a writing tutor. And when I read along in my head, the voice narrating WTDB, especially the intro scenes, is the voice of God/the narrator from Good Omens. Now you know.

[justanotherghostwriter]

I'm sending you so many fic titles. You don't have to do all of them if you don't want to. I got them from what my sister and i would have Sims title books they were writing. | (Call Me Innocent) (Walk Softly) (The Benefits of Screaming) (Ghosts I Have Loved) (And the Shadows Wept) (The Stars are Different Here) (Her Name Still Echoes) (Honest Creatures) (Wooden House, Paper Unicorn) (Though All to Ruin Fell the World) (The Echo or the Answer) (Above Us, Only Stars)

Firstly: sorry I answered this so late. Life came and ate me when I thought I'd have time. Go figure.

Secondly: I'm so happy to see that somebody else thought about what to title their books in Sims. I had a list, too. In one game, I had three generations of writers, and they kept writing new books "for the same series". Obviously, the game didn't care, but I had such a fun time seeing them all in the book store xD

Thirdly: Thank you for answering this! <3 And, in particular, answering with so many great titles to chew over. This was a fun mental exercise. I'm still throwing metaphorical salt in a circle around all of this so these silly ideas don't become less silly. I'll need to live another lifetime to finish all the fic on my To Do list, at this point.

Now, onto the actual answers!

Call Me Innocent. Probably something that starts with/includes the Buddy Wakefield poem "We Were Emergencies". I know that thing off-by-heart. In particular: "Make love to me, like you know I am better than the worst thing I ever did." So... Animorphs post-war? Like many years post-war and Cassie and Jake get that second chance. Orrrr Roy and Riza after the events of canon trying to put the world back together, with a healthy side-helping of Ed, whose guilt tendencies didn't just go away after defeating Father. Shocking, I know.

Walk Softly Agent Carter fic. A fix-it for Endgame. It will be Peggysous. There will be Daniel and Jack bromance. And Daniel and Steve bromance. This is all.

The Benefits of Screaming Avatar the Last Airbender. Azula gets love, therapy and a life-changing field-trip with Zuko (and Katara). I don't know the particulars, but I think it would sort of be a community service combined with going out to see the world through new eyes sort of fic. Just letting Azula lose control in safe ways. By that I mean go penguin sledding or run through a field of flowers for no reason. And Zuko and Katara, despite being Fire Lord and Ambassador to the Water Tribe and totally responsible adults, would also have moments of just being able to be kids. Lots of both Zuko and Azula apologising to one another, and starting from scratch to build a proper relationship.

Ghosts I Have Loved An Everlark fic. I'm thinking about Peeta and Katniss more often than even I realise, I think. And, although it's been done a thousand times by very talented people, I want a fic in that space between Peeta coming back to once-Twelve and the epilogue. Possibly even beyond it. I'll always want to go to war with "I didn't want kids but Peeta really did so we had kids I hated it but you know" because it bugs me. It would include Katniss and Haymich and Annie and some other survivors, but would be mainly focused on Peeta as he grieves all the people he lost and how complicated it is. His whole family was wiped out. One of those family members was canonically at least a little abusive. He lost friends. He lost who he once was. He lost the (fake, impossible) ideal of Katniss in his head; his first love, if you will. So it would just be a slice-of-life of Peeta observing and internally commenting and also stepping in to help where he sees he can, with this motif of all the love haunting him. And how he figures out how to let each "ghost pass on", so to speak. While also watching other people around him do the same. Johanna and Peeta friendship, because they rock.

And the Shadows Wept This is such a cool title, but I couldn't think of anything proper to go with it. Only half-baked ideas. And I didn't want to delay this answer for too long wracking my brain for a fic that won't ever exist lol. So I take the L for this one.

The Stars are Different Here Going back to the second fandom I wrote for here on Tumblr for this one. Doctor Who. More Metacrisis and Rose. For the record, in case anybody cares, there will be no calling him John. Or thinking that naming him is like naming a dog. (If you know, you know.) Just the two of them having ordinary adventures. And some not-so-ordinary ones. They're still the Doctor and Rose Tyler, and they have an earth (or two) to defend. Maybe even start with Rose's adventures with that dimension canon, because that's some good untapped writing potential right there.

Her Name Still Echoes Also Doctor Who! All the places people still find Bad Wolf, and variations thereof, throughout time and space. I'd have to actually catch up with things for this, I think, which would take a while (I think I stopped actively watching around season 7 or 8 and just read Wikipedia since then lol). But just letting Rose's desire to keep the Doctor safe be OP across their lives. And, because I'm me, I'd bring in the origins of the Big Bad Wolf and probably seven references to Red Riding Hood and/or The Three Little Pigs. Possibly even a tie-in to number 6, and all the ways the Bad Wolf echoes in all the places Rose jumped with that canon. (Rose and River bff-ship is a strong need for me tbh.)

Honest Creatures I'm forever dying to poke at the Scott and Rachel father-son dynamic. Or even Scott and Laura Kinney. Friendship/adopted dad only; I don't want to think about the direction the comics took with Displaced Scott and Laura, thank you. Either in canon-verse (whatever the heck that means, any more lmao) or trying to do some clean-up with the way Scott was written as he went off the rails... but not really. Anyway. Complexities of Scott Summers, screwed-up leader and oblivious collector of children he adopts.

Wooden House, Paper Unicorn Since this is all hypothetical and I don't ever need to actually write this, this one would be used for a Firefly/Serenity fic. Simon gets captured and thrown into prison on an Alliance prison ship. While there, he starts to doctor the other prisoners. His skill becomes known by the guards. And he gets pulled out to help an Alliance girl's emergency when her parents frantically hail for help from their ship/planet. Only oooooh the Alliance people have guests for their little vacation out in space, and two of those guests are Mr and Mrs Tam. Who have, according to their official records, never had kids. The drama. The Simon Sass. More drama when Serenity tracks Simon down... No, I haven't actually thought of this concept a hundred times in my head, why do you ask? Yes, there would be Simon whump. I'm basic, and you should expect nothing better from me.

Though All to Ruin Fell the World Zutara in an AU where either the war didn't end so nicely, or where winning the war didn't magically fix everything. I'd probably re-use concepts from Battles After War. Try and do something similar to MJ's stunning Ghosts Through The Smoke, but even more hopeless. Fire Nation leveled to nothing hopeless. Zuko failed as a Fire Lord/was never allowed to take the throne hopeless. Or, like, Zuko chooses the Gaang in Ba Sing Se, but Aang still dies and Katara doesn't know she saved him and she and Zuko get split from the others and go into Survival Mode kind of hopeless. Anyway, you get the picture. The world fell to ruin, somehow. :P And, yet, Zuko and Katara protect each other and fall in love. Although it takes a long time for them to be able to call it that. Maybe it will even be a little tragic; they are never able to let love grow past a certain point, because there's just too much to do. And they end up dying as soldiers who help the world limp towards a bright future. But never together.

The Echo or the Answer Okay, but the way I love this as a title? I know it's become slightly... not pretentious, but over-used, but... I will lean into the connotations if I can ever find a thing worthy of this title. I know this isn't an answer, but I couldn't think of anything that I want to "waste" this good title on lmao.

Above Us, Only Stars Animorphs, my beloved. Again, since this is hypothetical, and I never need to actually have the skill to write any of these fic: this one would be a role-reversal where the auxes got the morphing power first. But the OG six get pulled into the war by James and his team, because the Powers That Be nudge James toward Tobias, Elfangor's son. Who has been having strange dreams of the ocean shared with Cassie, even though neither of them know why. I'd be fascinated to see the OG six as team B under James' leadership. I'd not know how to write this fic, but I'd love to read it xD

SEND ME A MADE-UP FIC TITLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WOULD WRITE TO GO WITH IT.

[zepskies]

Wow, @lamentationsofalonelypotato you spoil me, friend!! This review of Part 1 absolutely made my day and put a huge smile on my face. 🥰

I really love again that you give so many wonderful little pieces of domestic life with Dean and I think that you did a very accurate depiction of him having a mini panic attack when he realizes how serious the relationship between him and the reader is getting.

Oh why thank you!! This series let me explore a lot of facets of their relationship, and this early on I wanted to emphasize the domestic aspect that Dean hasn't gotten since Lisa. Mixed into their hunter lifestyle, hopefully it would be a better fit for Dean and the reader here.

LOL his mini man panic attack was so fun to write. And Sam just being like, "A-huh, you done?" 😂

He’s acting like such a guy when it comes to the reader moving his stuff around and I am HERE for it lol. Men really do freak out when you move their stuff and when you try to leave your stuff at their place. And even though we all love Dean, he really is that dude. Also love the classic guy thing when they never understand how long it takes a woman to get ready. It's a lot of effort boys and it's worth the wait. 😉

He really is! lmfao Men complain about women being "extra," but they can be so particular, especially about their stuff. We saw from Dean's room in the bunker that he likes a particular order to things, so I thought it would be fun to have that feminine energy in his life shake him up lol. And hell yeah it's worth the wait! 😌💅🏽

Is it wrong that I imagine Dean looking around at all her bottles and products in the bathroom in absolute horror with the music from Psycho in the background? 😂

LOL I can see it like an episode in my head!!

And he’s not used to having a stable girlfriend around him all the time, caring for him, genuinely invested in what he’s doing through the day, and that makes so much sense for him to be a little out of his comfort zone to have someone move in. I know that by saying this I am neglecting Lisa… but legit I want to forget about her oh my stars. Please make it go away…😬

Exactlyyyyy. It's taking some adjustment time for both of them as Dean gets used to having a girlfriend in his space. I think with Lisa he had to try and fit himself into her life, her house, her things, while in this it's the other way around, so it's still "new" for him in a sense.

Haha I'm about to throw myself under the bus, but I shipped Dean x Lisa hardcore when I was first watching the show! It was always the hopeless romantic for me wanting better for Dean on the show, seeing him with a stable family life. I think the writers had to do her characterization a bit dirty in order to write her and Ben out of Dean's life. 🥲🥲

The reader’s reaction to his subtle comments about where his stuff is was making me laugh. She’s so sassy and fun, and she’s the perfect other half to Dean.

Ahaha thank you!! I so appreciate you for saying that. 🥰 She's not without flaws, but I thought she could match Dean's energy and give it right back to him in a playful way. 💕 (Hairline kisses are so wholesome, aren't they?)

Also thank you so much for explaining what the food was because it all sounded amazing and I would not have known the first thing about any of it. 😅

Oh of course! That's part of the "everyone is welcome here" with the cultural aspects. Plus I've had people tell me they want to go out and find some Cuban food to try, like you went out and found some cafecito! 😘 I love writing about food. lol

Goodness I don't think I'm ever going to have a normal reaction to Dean making the reader feel better when her thoughts begin to ride the self-deprecation train. It's so cute how much he cares for her and wants to make her feel better and lets her know that she belongs there with him. (AND THE EYEBROW KISS *swoon*) Also I teared up when she said the thing about having someone to cook for, because oh man, the feminine urge to bake and cook and make things for other people is so strong with me. 😭

UGHH GIRL SAME. It defeats me every time fr. 😮‍💨😮‍💨

As much as she wants to take care of her partner in Dean (and feed him and Sam), Dean's instinct is to take care of her right back in how she needs. It's why I wanted to pair him with a "giver" like him.

Oh yeah, I infused a bit of myself there with "the feminine urge to bake and cook and make things for other people." 🥰👌🏽

I will also say that the lore/the way you incorporate actual hunts into your work is so seamless and you should be VERY proud of that. It is literally like watching an episode of Supernatural.

Omg thank you!! I try my best to make that aspect feel natural and do research when necessary--back into the show, in mythology, etc. 💜💜

I know that Dean didn't want to give Andy's mother false hope, but I probably would have done the exact thing the reader did. I would have made that promise to reassure Andy's mom. But at the same time I see Dean's argument about caring too much for the people around you. I think he probably gets that from understanding that there are a lot of things that can go wrong on a hunt and that at the end of the day you can't save everyone/you're not always in control of the situation even if you'd like to be.

Honestly yeah same, but I'm glad you could see Dean's side of the argument too! I think the most conflicty conflict is best when both sides have merit. Dean's experience backs up his points, but there's a more human touch that the reader is coming from.

The subtle The Walking Dead reference, very well done lol.

Ahaha thank you!! I stole that from 12x15 when Dean pulls out Lucille. 🤣

AND IT'S A CLIFFHANGER!!?😱 I can't be mad about that, I do them so often too when I write. I can't wait to read part 2 and hear the traditional "you should've listened to me!" 🥰

Cliffhangers work! I love a good cliffhanger honestly. It doesn't even bother me when I read them in other people's stories because it can be such a delicious narrative choice. 😏

Thank you so much again, friend, for this lovely review!! I really hope you enjoy Part 2 whenever you get to it. It's spicy, in more ways than one. 😘

Devour Me - Part 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized/Latina!Reader 

Summary: When you and Dean start to press each other’s buttons, both of your tempers ignite. To make up for it, you give him an impromptu salsa dancing lesson…one he didn’t exactly ask for. (18+)

AN: This is a two-part sequel to “Midnight Espresso!” I would read that one first before you dive into this one. (It’s fun, I promise!)

Word Count: 3,800 Tags/Warnings: Supernatural shenanigans, tiny bit of body insecurity, hurt/comfort, fluffy fluff, and a cliffhanger...

☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist

Part 1: "A Takeover"

When Dean asked you to move in with him, he really didn’t think it would come to this.

Clearing a nightstand for you, half of the dresser, a section of his closet. Those things are reasonable. 

But this is a total takeover, he thinks, as he surveys the sheer amount of crap you’ve brought into his room.

Mind you, despite this still being a bunker, the décor is nice. You brought in sturdy, but stylish wicker baskets for his pile of cassettes (and your CDs) next to the TV, filing bins for the haphazard shuffle of papers on his desk, installed dark wood shelves on the wall for his various weapons and your collection of books. 

But he’d had his music organized—not alphabetically or chronologically, but by his own personal rankings of awesomeness. Now they’re all shuffled together by band name. 

Plus, he likes having his shotgun on the floor by the bed, within reach, not three feet above his head. And where the fuck is his collection of…magazines?

The point is, every time he looks for something, you’ve put it in a different place. Not to mention the damn bathroom (don’t get him started on all your shea butter lotions, makeup brushes, frilly-smelling soaps, and the army of hair products now taking up space in his cabinets and drawers). 

Dean is sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out where the hell his cassette of Zeppelin IV is, when you breeze into the room he now shares with you. You’re dewy with sweat in a Guns & Roses shirt and some yoga pants you reserve for cleaning. 

And that’s another thing. You’re more anal than Sam about having the bunker smelling like Pine Sol. However, as you’ve expressed before (after nagging him to pick up his dirty, and occasionally bloody clothes from the floor), while you like a clean house, you are not in fact the maid.

“Hey, baby. Can you fold these for me?” you request. “I need a shower.”

He raises a brow as you dump a new basket of fresh laundry onto the bed. It looks like you washed your clothes mixed in with his, which he actually doesn’t mind. He fishes out one of your red, lacey thongs with a hint of a smile. He bought you these last week, and they already have a tear. (His fault.)

“By the way, next time you move one of my things, mind leaving me a post-it note or something?” he dryly remarks. “It’s like a scavenger hunt in my own damn room.” 

You pop your head out of the bathroom, though he can tell by your bare shoulders that you’ve already gotten undressed. Your mouth is quirked at the corner. 

“It’s called organization,” you tease. “Apparently a foreign concept to you.”

You disappear back into the bathroom, giving Dean the privacy he needs to grumble almost inaudibly to himself. But then he hears your voice behind the door.  

“Oh, by the way. Your vintage collection of smut is in the bottom of your nightstand,” you call out. “That 1996 edition of Busty Asian Beauties is particularly classy.”

Dean hears the wryness in your tone, and his face actually heats up in embarrassment. He frowns at the bathroom door, his jaw tensing, but he takes a breath. Deciding to let it go with a roll of his shoulders, he puts on the TV to catch up on Dr. Sexy M.D. He also neglects the task you gave him, just for a little while.

When you’re still in the bathroom an hour later, Dean starts to get curious about what the hell you’re doing in there. The shower isn’t even running anymore.

That’s when he hears the hairdryer go on. 

He knows he’ll never be able to concentrate on his show with all that noise. So with a sigh, he clicks off the TV and eyes the pile of laundry. You probably cleaned the whole freaking bunker this morning. Despite his annoyance, he figures folding your clothes along with his own is the least he can do. 

Dean scoops up the pile back into the basket and takes it elsewhere. 

He finds his brother at the kitchen table and joins him with his basket. Sam’s gaze raises from his laptop to meet his brother’s grumpy face. He watches in mild curiosity as Dean plops down across from him and dutifully begins folding one of your shirts. 

“You okay?” Sam hazards the question. 

“Fucking peachy,” Dean replies. “Looking for a new case?”

“Yeah. Nothing yet.” Though Sam raises a brow when Dean all but tosses one of your girly sundresses on the table after it’s folded. (It’s yellow, and it happens to be his favorite on you.)

“Everything all right?” Sam asks. 

Dean glances up, finds his brother’s knowing eyes, and doesn’t have it in him to lie. He lets go of a breath, as well as one of his undershirts to rub at his forehead. 

“She’s nosey, Sam. She’s all up in my business.”

“Your girlfriend?” Sam clarifies, with raised brows. “Of six months.”

“Yeah, that one,” Dean quips, with all due sarcasm. “Ever since she moved in, she’s been going through everything, moving my crap every which way, making it so I can’t find a damn thing.”

Sam’s mouth edges at a smile. 

“I’m tellin’ you, Sam, she’s damn near taken over,” Dean insists. 

“You done?” Sam teases. Dean just leans in, like he’s about to level his brother with a secret. 

“Matter of fact, she locks herself in the bathroom for like, forever. I just heard the hairdryer go on, meaning another hour at least. What the fuck is she doing in there, getting ready for prom?”

Sam finally has to chuckle. “Clearly it’s been a long time since you’ve lived with a woman, Dean.” 

Dean scoffs. “Right.”

“And she’s actually been a big help in cleaning up around here,” Sam says, with a growing smirk. “Which is, quite literally, a refreshing change.”

Dean snorts at that. 

“Of course, you’re happy,” he says. “A new damn dish rack turns you on.”

Sam shoots him a wan look. “The question is, are you happy?”

That manages to take Dean by surprise. He hesitates to answer…

But he’s saved when he hears someone approaching. He knows it’s you because he can smell the mix of your floral soap and coconutty shampoo; it’s a scent that often lingers on your pillow and has unconsciously infiltrated Dean’s nose. 

His reply to Sam dies on his tongue when he sees you.

“Hey,” you greet both men, all bright and smiley with your hair in wild curls down your back. 

A lot of the time you keep your hair straight or loose and wavy, so it’s rare for Dean to see your natural look. It’s a good one for you, he thinks. Along with those jean shorts hugging your curvy hips, and the V-neck top you’re wearing, which offers a nice peek of cleavage. 

Your hand falls on his shoulder, with your thumb stroking his neck. You then brush that hand across his back as you pass by on your way to the kitchen. If possible, you’ve become even more touchy since you two got together.

Dean holds fast to your hand, stopping you in your path. 

“So that’s what you were working on in there,” he remarks. “Thought I was gonna need to break out the fire extinguisher.” 

You grin in amusement and do a little twirl under his hand, shaking out your curls a little.

“You like?” you ask. Dean tugs you back over. He reaches out and fingers at the soft ends of your hair. 

“Beautiful,” he says.

“Looks real nice,” Sam adds.

“Why, thank you.” Your smile is contagious, and Dean can’t help reciprocating. You drop a hand on his shoulder again.

“I know you’re our resident Gordon Ramsay, but I kinda feel like cooking today,” you say. “Is Cas coming home anytime soon?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, he called this morning. Probably dropping back in tonight.”

You nod. “Good! I’ll make plenty then…oh, wait, he doesn’t eat.”

“What did you have in mind?” Sam asks. 

“Well, I know you guys haven’t had much Cuban food, so I thought you might like to try some ropa vieja,” you reply. Sam’s brows knit together. 

“Old clothes?” he translates. His two years of high school Spanish can give him that much.

“Yeah! But it’s basically shredded beef with onions, garlic, tomato sauce, and a bunch of other good stuff,” you explain. Then your eyes brighten. “Oh! And I can make my grandma’s famous black beans, white rice, some bread with crushed garlic and olive oil…”

By the time you finish listing the things you plan on making, Dean is already salivating. 

Later that evening, when Dean actually gets to sample said food, he’s eaten enough for three men in the span of forty-five minutes.

“Jesus, man. Going for a record on indigestion?” Sam cautions him, despite his amusement. 

Dean pointedly ignores his brother to look over at you. After he swallows another forkful of beef stew, he says, “Not for nothin’, this is probably the second-best meal of my entire life.”

“Oh, yeah?” You giggle. “What’s number one?”

“Diner called Slammies in Alabama. Best fucking pie on Earth,” he easily recalls. “Double applewood bacon cheeseburger, chili cheese fries, brick oven pizza. Bar none.” 

Sam inclines his head, remembering the food coma he and Dean had that night. They’d hit the rock-hard pillows at the motel and slept like they’d been on an all-night bender. 

“But this is like, right there,” Dean says to you, leveling his hand up by his head. 

“Well, let’s see if this moves the needle,” you reply as you get up from your seat. You answer the question in his eyes. “Forgot something, hold on.”

But before you can leave the table, Dean reaches over and takes your hand. 

“Thanks, sweetheart. For all of this. I mean it,” he says. 

A soft, genuine smile grows across your face. You lean down and press a tender kiss below his hairline, stroking his cheek before you go. 

Dean quirks a smile. It’s taken him time to get used to how open you are with your affections, but he likes it. All of it. Every time you reach for him, touch him, brush against him, intentionally or not. He always has.

Though he has to resist embarrassment when he notices the way his brother is watching him. Sam raises a brow, smiling that irritating smile of his. 

“Oh, yeah. You’re not happy at all,” he intones.

“Never said I wasn’t,” Dean says defensively. But he perks up when you return. Maybe you’re bringing more garlic bread. 

Instead, you’re holding a tin pan.

“What’cha got there?” he asks.

“Dessert,” you announce. It’s a Cuban flan: creamy, rich custard with a consistency smoother than cheesecake, and thicker than pudding.  

You haven’t even sat back down yet when Dean carves himself a generous slice. He moans when a large forkful melts in his mouth. You start to blush as you watch him with crossed arms and a hand over your smile. You don’t know whether to be amused or flattered.

Sam watches his brother stuff his face with a subtle shake of his head.    

“You’re enabling him,” he tells you. You shrug, but then you rest your hands on both Sam and Dean’s shoulders. 

“Now I have someone to cook for,” you say. You have tears in your eyes, but you quickly blink and try to turn away. Frowning, Dean takes your hand. 

“Hey, where you going?” he says, and aims to pull you into his lap. You hesitate, knowing you’re not going to be able to squeeze between him and the table.  

“It’s okay, these hips don’t fit,” you chuckle wryly, with a sniffle. But Dean just backs his chair up from the table a bit to make room. 

“What’re you talking about? You fit right here,” he says firmly, and he tugs you down. This is the one thing Dean has tried his damndest to break you out of—that self-deprecating streak of yours. 

You finally accept being guided into his lap, where you indeed fit snugly across his thighs. His arm comes around the front to hold you close by your hip, while his other hand rests comfortingly on your back.

Looking up into his eyes, you draw enough courage to be honest. 

“I was mostly raised by my grandma,” you begin to explain. Your father wasn’t ready to be one, and so wasn’t in the picture. Your mother died when you were in high school. So when your grandmother also passed away a few years ago… 

Well, you’ve been alone for a while.

You sniff and wipe at your face, but your eyes close as Dean’s lips press above your brow. When you next open your eyes and cautiously look between the brothers, Sam’s sympathy warms you. 

“If it isn’t obvious, you have a home here,” he says. “We can never replace what you’ve lost, but…we’re your family too.”

You know that Dean feels the same way by the way he brushes the tears from your cheek, thumbing at your bottom lip.

"You're right where you need to be," he says, with a hand squeezing your hip. His sincerity is in his even tone, in the firmness in his eyes.

You’re able to smile a bit.

“Ah…I’m interrupting, aren’t I?”

The three of you turn to the kitchen doorway, where Castiel stands awkwardly. He clearly senses emotional tension, but it breaks the moment you turn to him with a tearful laugh. 

“Hey, Cas. Have you ever eaten ‘old clothes?’” you ask. 

His puzzled expression is absolutely priceless.  

When Sam finds a possible hunt in Hope, Indiana, Castiel agrees to go with you all. It’s a small, corn-fed town in the middle of nowhere, and five people have gone missing over the course of a year. 

The latest is a nine-year-old kid named Andy Campbell. That alone upsets you; if you have one weakness, it’s for kids.

“Local farmers have been reporting dead cattle too, drained of blood,” Sam says from the passenger seat in the Impala. “I’m thinking vampires trying to keep a low profile.”

“Sounds about right, if a bit sloppy,” Dean remarks. They are in the Midwest though. If this is a coven, or even a rogue vamp who’s been here a while, maybe they got lazy. “So what, police station first? Get any details they might’ve missed.”

“I want to talk to the kid’s mom,” you say. It earns Dean’s gaze at you in the rearview mirror. “We can get the last time she saw him, where he went missing, anything she might’ve held back from the police.”

He nods and shares a glance with Sam. “I’ll go with her. You and Cas scope out the station.”

The angel has gotten better at pretending to be a Fed, but not by much. Sam agrees, even though Dean sees in his face that he’d rather be taking his brother. Dean tempers a smile and keeps driving to the closest motel in this dusty town. 

You don a sensible pantsuit to match Dean’s Fed suit, along with your badges: Agents Buckingham and Nicks. 

When Andy’s mom, Rachel Campbell, opens the door of her modest home to you and Dean, he lets you take the lead. You’re good at this part, connecting with the victims and getting them to talk. He sometimes worries about you though—that your soft, sympathetic heart will get the best of you. 

“How long has Andy been missing?” you ask, accepting a cup of tea from the woman. 

Rachel is around your age, maybe a few years older. She looks run down, a shell of a human as she looks at the carpet rather than at you or Dean. You can’t know exactly how she feels, but you have a vivid imagination. 

And from the various pictures of her and Andy on the wall, just the two of them, you deduce that she’s a single mother. Just like your mom had been.

“Almost four months,” she admits. “The police station doesn’t even return my calls anymore.”

That upsets you, but you keep a lid on your emotions to focus on the woman in front of you. 

“Andy’s father, he’s not around?” Dean asks. Rachel shakes her head, confirming your suspicions.

“No, we split up shortly after he was born,” she replies, her tone tired and resigned. “I was at work. I uh, I work at a doctor’s office. Andy was supposed to come home on the bus, like any other day…but he never did.”

She sucks in a shaky breath as the beginnings of tears make her eyes red and glassy. 

“His school couldn’t tell me why he wasn’t on the bus. But one of his friends said he was late getting out of class, so he must’ve tried to walk home. Even though he knew he could call me when that happens…anyway, somebody must’ve grabbed him.”

Rachel looks away as a tear streams down her cheek, followed by another. You feel your throat tighten with a sympathetic burn behind your eyes, but you keep it at bay long enough to set down your tea. You reach out and lay a hand on the woman’s hand. She meets your steady gaze. 

“I promise, we’ll find your son,” you tell her.

“What?” you ask Dean as the two of you leave the small house, walking back to the Impala in the driveway. You just know there’s something up with him by the stoic look on his face. It isn’t so stoic to you. 

He waits until the two of you are in the car before he levels you with a raised brow. 

“Look, I know you want to find this kid. I do too,” he says. “But watch out about making promises you can’t keep.”

You frown back at him. “What’s better, letting that poor woman have no hope at all?”

In his mind, Dean thinks it’s worse to give her false hope. But he sees how stubborn you’re getting, so he doesn’t push it. The fact that you care about people like Rachel is part of what drew him to you in the first place, but there’s a line, he thinks. A point where you can care too much. 

When you two eventually meet up with Sam and Castiel, they’ve been able to confirm from the body of a recent Jane Doe, with a row of lethal bite marks on her wrist, that this is definitely a vamp case. 

After narrowing down where each of the victims were taken, the four of you sketch out a perimeter of where the monsters could likely be hiding. It’s Dean who finds the old barn on the verge of a corn field, about three miles away from the school where Andy was taken. 

You all wait until high noon the next day to scope it out. Looking into the front windows is useless; all evidence points to an empty home.

The back of the barn is another story. Cracking the barn door open reveals a large storage area, where a nest of vampires are sleeping in their beds. Some are coupled off, but you note a few on single beds.

Then, your eyes narrow on the humans sleeping piled together in the corner—three women, a young man, and Andy Campbell on a twin-sized bed of his own.  

Dean carefully closes the barn door, and the four of you regroup back to the Impala.

“It’s a bigger nest than we thought,” Sam says, though he keeps his voice quiet. Dean is already opening the trunk for his favorite machete. 

“First, let’s get those humans out,” he says. You agree with a nod when he hands you a weapon.  

Dean shoots you a wink. “This one’s Brenda.”

“What happened to Lucille?” you ask, taking the knife from him.

“That’s the bat wrapped in barbed wire. Matter of fact, I should break her out.”

Dean reaches into the trunk and pulls out the blood-stained bat. He rubs the handle fondly. 

“Ahh, Dad loved this thing.”

You sidle up next to him and glance over wryly. “You want some alone time with your big stick, there?”

Dean flashes you a smirk, giving you a long once over in your form-fitting shirt and jeans. “Well, you’re certainly welcome to join me, sweetheart.” 

You snort in response, bumping into his side with your hip. Dean teasingly bounces one of your curls in your face. You smile and swat his hand away.

Sam subtly rolls his eyes, despite a small smile as he shares a look with Cas.

“All right. Can we go, please?” Sam says in amusement. Castiel awkwardly straps on a machete to his belt. He doesn’t believe he’ll need it, but Sam and Dean are always prepared. He wants to be as well. 

You’re ready to go, but Dean holds you back by your shoulder. You look up at him curiously.

“Hey, follow our lead on this one, okay?” he asks. 

You sense that he’s hedging at something more specific with that request. 

“What do you mean?”  

“The kid. I know you wanna beeline for him the second we get in there, but hold off,” Dean says. His gaze is serious. “He could be turned.”

He got a good look inside, the same as you. The kid was lying on a bed while the other humans were chained up on the floor. Still, you shoot him an incredulous look. 

“Why would they turn a kid?” you ask. “They have the others.”

“Yeah, and they were chained up. Why not him?” Dean asks, imploring you to think logically. He shares a look with Sam, who silently agrees. You look between the brothers with pursed lips. 

“Maybe they don’t give a fuck, because they’re cocky assholes,” you retort. And you walk past them to head back towards the barn. 

The brothers and the angel share one last look, with Dean letting out a subtle breath before he follows you.

You creep back into the barn, as quiet as possible through the room of snoring vampires. The brothers and Castiel go to the sleepy women in the corner. They look dirty and malnourished, wearing threadbare clothing. Sam feels the pulse of the man prone on the floor, but he’s already dead. 

When one of the girls wakes with a whimper, Dean holds his finger to his lips, warning them all wordlessly to be quiet. He looks over and doesn’t find you next to him. He nearly curses out loud when he sees you heading for Andy’s bed across the room. 

Meanwhile, you touch the little boy’s shoulder and shake him a little. He wakes with a small sound of reluctance, but you shush him gently. 

“Andy?” You grasp his shoulders. He nods, though his blonde brows are furrowed with confusion. 

“Who…who are you?” he asks. He rubs at his sleepy brown eyes. 

“I’m here to help,” you reply in a whisper. “I’m going to get you back to your mom, okay?”

After a moment, he nods and lets you pick him up into your arms. You hazard looking over across the room, and you find Dean’s annoyed gaze. Despite the uncomfortable churning in your belly, you ignore him for now and head for the back door.

You’re only able to take a few steps when you feel a hand wrap tightly in your hair and pull it away from your neck, just for rows of several razor-sharp teeth to sink into your neck.

AN: 😬 ...Sorry. If you don't know me by now, I love a cliffhanger. But how'd you like Dean getting used to sharing his space? (And having someone to occasionally put him on his toes.)

Part 2 will feature a good old fashioned "you should've listened to me" fight, some angst, some making up, some salsa dancing, and a healthy dose of smutty smut.

Next Time:

“I don’t care what that legendary gut tells you,” you sass back. “I’m not a little girl, and you’re not my damn father!”

Dean raises incredulous brows at the way you’re shouting at him. He crosses his arms. 

“What’s this, some kind of Latina temper?” he asks snidely. 

You truly become incensed at that. 

Keep Reading: PART 2

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[crookedcloudcat1999]

rrandomthoughts

Why is it that every time I try to go to sleep it's either at 1 o'clock in the morning or 2 o'clock in the morning and I was just thinking random things so this is what they are have fun

Why do they call cookies when you bake them but bacon when you cook them like isn't it isn't supposed to be like Becky's and caken cooking cooking why why do they call it bacon and cookies.. When you have a river swallow basically like your tongue doesn't rest at the roof of your to your teeth and it since then when you don't talk I have it but when trying to swallow a Pill and if you And if you have it it's so annoying because normal people they just have to put the tongue on the roof in their mouth and swallow the pill with water and then us we have to sit there and be like OK *takes a drink of water so as to swallow it and does not swallow* dang it!

Random doctor who thoughts number one why does the doctor like the 10th doctor always put stuff in his mouth like huh is he okay doesn't he therapy or something? Yes the doctor has been living for thousands millions of years probably and the 10th docklogy just randomly decides oh let's put something in their mouth well roses here heck no I wonder that we'd live in the doctor bowties are cool yes It's just I'm thinking doctor are you are you okay So when we get doctor Donna it's just the oh my God wow and then we realized oh she's gonna die okay and then he raises her memory so then she doesn't die and the next thing you know 15 years later she has a baby girl on baby girl her daughter is 15 and she doesn't remember the doctor and she doesn't see anything from it. So in the new series we see Donna again and she has a daughter named oh my hush when we see the doctor agand it's just like oh I think i know you are recognizing somewhere just don't know where anyways and then a spaceship comes down on to the Earth and she doesn't even see it so throw out the Hometown first episode of the first special it's just like she's trying to realize oh I'm doctor Donna wow And she doesn't die because since she gave birth to a daughter who is not female or male apparently She just says so we have a female doctor a male doctor and a not assigned doctor Dang and so she lives and during the second episode I was like half asleep during like 30 minutes of it at least and is it like the whole dead thing that's just the oh copying pasting and cause they're trying to steal your bodies and I still try to make you think very each other but they're not

Anyways thank you for reading my rant of the night I have not been able to sleep since 6 am yeah bye have a good day night or evening

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[variousincorrectxreader]

Hiii! Can I have an arcane matchup please 🖤

She/her,bi.

I'm 5'6, mixed (half white half black) so I have light tan skin, really short brown curly hair, hazel eyes and glasses.

Personality: I am very empathetic, always trying to keep the people around me happy (even if I'm not in the end) I hate disappointing people so I can over work myself sometimes. Mostly I am kind and polite, but a I get very sassy moments (I can also be very sarcastic). Im also kind of reserved when I first meet someone and it can take me awhile to show my fun, goofy, happy side to them Aquarius, infj I like reading books, writing, listening to music (mostly kpop). I also like to go exploring like in the forest or even abandoned places I also love cooking and baking (more so baking tbh) my favorite song is girls (by girl in red) or sharp objects (by sorn) sometimes I stop in the middle of talking because I think I talk to much (I've been told many times that I do so I just try not to really talk in a way)i play with my hands a lot, I have a really high pitched (idk sorta cute?) sneeze, I can be very clumsy (I literally tripped on air once😂) when I do something scary my hands shaky after I've done the scary thing (if that makes any sense)

Hello there! Sorry for taking so long, I'm just busy with a very important 4 part internal so things are backed up right now, but here it is! I also saw the “I’m 16″ thing in my inbox so it’s fine <3

I pair you with...

Vi! Okay, hear me out. I asked my friend about it, and they said Caitlyn and I initially thought Caitlyn as well. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized you’d probably vibe a lot more with Vi. At first she sorta thought you were weak, but your empathetic nature, and clumsiness got to her, and kinda triggered her “must protect” instinct.

Shes (surprisngly) patient with getting to know you, she knows what its like having a hard time properly opening up, once you begin showing your happy/goody side, she just feels her heart swell

She knows overworking is terrible, so shes pretty stern with you, sometimes forcing you to get rest.

LOVES being snarky with you when it happens, much to the chargin of Caitlyn

girl, shes so keen on trying all the food you make. Please feed her, she will be so happy to test stuff out for you

She notices your shaky hands after going through something really nervewracking/scary, so it doesnt take her long to put the pieces together, she doesnt really know how to help, but she tries anyways, maybe teaching you a breathing technique, or just hugging you till you calm down.

You guys listen to girl in red all the time, theres no convincing me otherwise, she loves the songs, legit will fall asleep in your arms while listening to GIR.

Vi would like dates where you guys go our exploring, but she wont mind if you would rather stay in and just read, shes happy to listen to you rant (Even outside of dates, dont be afraid to talk to her about anything and everyhing!)

She finds it so funny how you seem to be able to trip over anything, but will always catch you/pick you up.

She sometimes throws you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, you cant change my mind.

She has the sweetest nicknames for you, ones like Cutie, or Nerd, maybe even baby or sweet cheeks (Ekko makes fun of her when he sees her being soft, so does Caitlyn)

LOVES YOUR SNEEZE. She thinks its so cute <3

Girl, she is in LOVE with your hair and glasses. Calls you her nerd

[thefrogswhospoke]

since I was tagged, I decided to participate! Thanks, dude :)

1. Were you named after anyone?

Yes! I was named after a character in a french novel. My first name is remarkably similar to a character in twilight (which came out and became popular AFTER I was born and named fyi) so sometimes people think I'm named after that. My first middle name is my great grandmother's name on my mom's side.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Very recently, though I don't remember the exact day. I was doing work and got frustrated. Yeah, I'm a cry baby :')

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. I've had recurring, weirdly realistic dreams that I have a son though. That being said, I don't think I'll have any, and if I do, they'll be adopted. The thought of being pregnant and giving birth makes me so uncomfortable (no shade towards pregnant people, this is just about my own body)

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I've done a lot of sports, but my favorite is swimming. I've been swimming competitively since I think 3rd grade(?), and have no plans on stopping. But I've done tennis, basketball, wrestling, dance (did not last long), and volleyball.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not very often, but I do tease and joke around a lot.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

How they look. Their outfit, defining features, hair, etc. And their general attractiveness, which sounds shallow, but it's true. It's not in an attempt to gauge if their in my league or vice versa (I'm aro/ace), I just generally pick up on beauty in things and people (I have yet to meet someone who isn't beautiful)

7. What's your eye color?

Dark brown, almost black in some lighting.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

It depends on the kind of horror, but generally happy endings.

9. Any talents?

I can play a few instruments, I can make up a story on the spot that's at least half way decent, I can write (ish), and I make some MEAN chocolate chip cookies.

10. Where were you born?

California, USA. I won't get more specific than that because if I start I will not stop gushing until you know everything about me and I cannot live with that kind of digital footprint.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, listening to music, baking, doing math for some reason, listening to other people's silly little OC's and worlds, and making new lore/languages for random throw away worlds.

12. Do you have any pets?

yes: this fluffy fucker named Oak

13. How tall are you?

5'5 and 1/4, or about 1.66 meters.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Theology, History, English, Math, or Natural Sciences. Really every class because I like all my teachers and they make everything fun :)

15. Dream job?

If I could turn back time and become the village elder that tells stories by the fire to explain the world because we didn't have any other ways of rationalizing, then I would be. I think that sounds like a nice life. But since that's not really possible, I'd want to be a writer, lawyer, or phycologist.

My mutual @alectricblue tagged me in this game tag! I normally dont do these, but I thought it'd be nice to get to know me more (and also meet y'all if you wish to participate)!

It will be long though. Sorry

1. Were you named after anyone?

Was originally gonna be named Andrea after a ballerina my grandma liked! Sadly no one remembered her well, not even grandma, so I don't know much about her.

My deadname was simply just chosen bc it was easy to pronounce, as well as my chosen name Diego (it's what I would've been called had I been male), although when I chose it for myself I liked the JoJo character Diego Brando so there was some correlation there.

Funnily enough, people think I'm nicknamed Lio after the Promare character, but I hadn't met them yet.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. At 11pm. Watching OR3O's One Piece song. It was nostalgic ok

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. There's an absurd amount of reasons I don't want them, although not a single one is because I dislike them. I've had to babysit many kids and they've all been very sweet.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oof, my recent sports is taking my dog for a walk. But I used to like volleyball and kickball! And reluctantly played soccer and did swimming! Sports give me a lot of anxiety and i'm not sure why.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I do a lot of teasing and lighthearted banter that can sometimes be considered sarcasm?

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes! Or anything outstanding like cool hairstyles or visible tattoos.

With online people, I mostly recognize them by pfp or a vague mental pronunciation of their username.

7. What's your eye color?

Dark brown?? Or black??

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Honestly, whatever makes me think more. Unhappy endings tend to do that more though, so I guess scary movies! But of course it depends on the mood, sometimes I just want a nice story to cheer me up.

9. Any talents?

I've been told I am talented at the piano! And music in general, although most of my skills feel less like talent and more like just studying the thing.

10. Where were you born?

So I was born in the US, in Florida, but my entire family is from Costa Rica and I just happened to be born while my parents were studying abroad. I don't remember much from the US though, I came back to CR with my grandma in my first months because she was less busy than my parents, and then they came to live here again. So in my eyes I've been a true Costa Rican since always hehe

11. What are your hobbies?

Playing the piano! Also drawing sometimes (I like to color more than draw, but unless I get my hands on a coloring book I can't do that unless I draw), playing videogames (mostly RPGs and visual novels), and doomscrolling.

12. Do you have any pets?

YESSSS my beloved dog Mia!!!!!!!!!!! I love her so much, she escaped her abusive home and we found her while walking around a plaza, said hi, and she followed us home. She's been with us for 8 years now and I adore her. Reference below because how can I not show her off:

13. How tall are you?

Excellent question. I forgot but I'm average if that helps!

14. Favorite subject in school?

It changed over the years, in senior year it was English because we had my favorite teacher! I knew him for years because he has a literature club I partook in, so I was very happy to have classes with him. Plus, we saw the Oresteia, which goes tremendously hard especially when your teacher geeks out about all the symbolisms.

Apart from that, computer class! We barely ever had it, and almost had it cut out entirely in senior year, but the few times we did I really enjoyed programming and practicing typing! And when we didn't do anything we could play so.

15. Dream job?

I want to make my own videogame! So I'd say a game developer, although being a part of any videogame, especially RPGs, would be a dream come true.

Well thank you for reading, I hope that was some insight, it was very fun to reply!

Tagging section (no pressure to do it at all, you can also do it if you're not tagged who cares)

@skyllion-uwu @thefrogswhospoke @gorgeousuare @chronologicalimplosion @fishy-lilic @smoothedsmoothie @mx-mind @montied @aspirationatwork @jhofoyitchg @derkhue @mellomaia @federalfazbear @mcfinnigan @mutantsgurls @foxounderscorecube @sweetnessfollowsmp3 @mildredtefoneck @oh-my-stars1969 @unfullbucket @fluffnfuzzxoxo @electriceel69 @scottigyn @stressedsilverware @sapphicrobotenjoer @antjellies @milk1non-tolarantes @ovalbrain @chocokhaos @markdiegamer @astralix13 @atheist-xmas @blktomekurata @monstar-dreams @glass-duke @c--eam @laooneart

[gunsli-01]

Love Below 0°

The Milgram fandom on here is a cozy type of small... Yet, somehow completely unhinged. Which makes sense for a web series centered around a bunch of fictional killers. Can't lie, I've been really entertained looking at what people will or will not forgive. It's even more fun to see what others think is going on with these characters. So, I'm going to put myself out there and say my interpretation of what they did. Plus, what I speculate the pairings represent.

I'll be throwing these out in pairs. Starting with Yuno and Haruka. I won't be going into too much depth. Since, I've spoken about Yuno in length before, and Haruka is a considerably straight forward case.

It is my belief that how the prisoners are paired together is indicative of the motive/emotional intent behind their actions. Bearing that in mind I believe the thing that ties Haruka and Yuno together is their Envy/attention seeking behavior.

For context, I was dragged into this whole thing by @apatchworkstar during the tail end of the first trial. So, most of the prisoners had a definitive verdict by the time I got into this. The only ones who didn't have a verdict were Amane, Mikoto, and Kotoko. However, after seeing Haruka and Yuno's first music videos. I was shocked to find they had been voted innocent. Cause I would have voted them both Guilty during the first trial.

Haruka clearly killed a kid who I thought to be his sibling, that and someone around Amane's age given he says he's not good with kids her age. Plus, animals during his first music video. I also didn't believe speculating he had a learning disability excused this or that he had one to be honest. Yuno's first music video made it abundantly clear she was partaking in a form of entrapment the extent of which I was uncertain about at that time.

Given my interpretation of what was shown I believed they both should have been voted guilty and would have voted them that way if I were there.

I'm certain that most have gathered by now they both killed due to envy/jealousy. They're the easiest pair to figure out. Haruka doesn't lie at all, and Yuno lies in such a blatantly coy way that I don't even perceive it as dishonest anymore. They are the most blatantly honest about what they did wrong and how they wish to be perceived and treated within Milgram. The ways they go about showing that though directly contrast each other.

Yuno is more passive leaning on being outright disdainful and cold to get the message across while Haruka will just say he wants something. Yuno will manipulate behind the scenes to get what she's after while Haruka will blatantly act up or behave to get what he wants in a shameless way. Making them nice foils for each other. If you look at it from a passive aggressive and aggressive framing.

Both of their second trial videos are out now. Given Haruka's second trial I'm voting him innocent. He clearly did the things I thought he did, the only thing that changed were a few environmental factors that recontextualized the issue. I'm a firm believer in yes, his mom fucked up on that one and if she couldn't use negative reinforcement to fix his behavior than there is no way that we can. Lol, hope he has fun here.

When it comes to Yuno though... I'd be happy with a fifty/fifty but I'm voting her guilty because of the noticeable hypocrisy. Yes, I know I sound like Futa but to be honest hypocrites are just annoying. Plus, Yuno is annoyed by that aspect of this as well. After stating she's the one who chose to allow us in to begin with asking, "Happy or sad? Why decide? Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice? So, nauseating. So, creepy. Will you please disappear?"

Before brushing it off like she always does because she won't be bothered and going "Phew, anyway." and inviting us to grasp around blindly trying to find her again. In a coy if you want to know me open your eyes and look or stay blind searching for this idea of me you've created. Measuring her against our morality means she can only be innocent or guilty by our standards, never her own. It's something forced on her without her input or consideration towards how she feels about her actions. Causing her to become the same sensationalized topic, she berates in her first voice drama.

I understand why that would be annoying. Truthfully, Yuno is not special she is very much in here for the same shit Haruka is. Technically something I consider more pointless than what Haruka is in here for. He wanted affection from his literal parent who is shown to be physically and emotionally neglectful. Yuno, to her own admission, has a fine life and just wants the attention of someone she's romantically invested in. Despite her character not liking psychoanalysis the only thing I could gather that would excuse her behavior is blaming it on father issues.

This is because she states her family structure is her grandparents, mother, younger brother, and her. Though blaming it on that would be a disservice and a belittling of her character. Even if it were the case, just because someone is romantically interested in another person doesn't mean they are entitled to that sort of interest in return. She isn't owed anything more by her clientele than payment for her services. Parents on the other hand should ideally have unconditional love for their kids regardless of that child's capabilities or age.

Despite whether Haruka's mom intended to or not her actions clearly ended up giving Haruka a distorted understanding of affection. To the point that he takes all forms of attention as positive and smiles at being slapped. Cause he conflates being reprimanded and punished with being cared for. That's a parental failing. Parenting is difficult but fuck his mom. It's to the point that I can't even fault him for considering Mu to be his real mom.

Hell, she's a better option than his real one. At least Mu's conditions are ones that he can meet just never say no to her and behave well. While his actual mom's according to what we've been shown were impossible to meet from the start because he was just born wrong. I just find it wild that a bunch of people were like he just needs help, he can't do things as easily as other people while knowing he's a murderer during the first trial. Then when he got a bit of confidence from that recognition be like no we've got to put him back in his place. For his benefit though, like alright, okay...Sure.

I feel mostly the same way towards anyone voting Miss I don't know why the public sensationalizes adultery so much innocent. Then being like Kazui might have cheated and that's bad. Where's that energy you guys had at Mikoto being shirtless in his own house while showering towards Yuno wearing lingerie throughout her entire second trial video? The animators knew what they were doing there but not here, okay. Super weird that she did the things she did for love like Mahiru did but since she's not unabashedly traditionally feminine she gets a pass while Mahiru is at death's door. Can't imagine what that says about most voters.

Phew, anyway...to the next pair then.

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco