#so fucking weird i’m just gonna say it was a crazy coincidence and i’m being paranoid

[glitterfairy-21225]

I definitely prefer Team Rational bc it's so crazy to think that everything they were driven to do was caused by group think getting way out of hand, and the majority of what happened was actually preventable. But also, I feel like there are so many things that wouldn't make sense as coincidences, like Travis seeing the tree stump during his panic attack or Lottie seeing the sick deer before it was hunted. So I guess I want it to be mostly mass hysteria with a few supernatural elements (but like, a lot less than the characters seem.)

Shauna in both timelines lol. I've never seen a character quite like her. Her descent from a flawed but normal teenage girl into the deranged character we have is my favorite character arc of the entire show. She's full of contradictions. She loves Jackie. She hates Jackie. She's the most kind to Javi. She beat Lottie close to death. She's just a housewife. She's a murderer. She's the sidekick. She survived and Jackie didn't. She’s riddled with guilt. Everything is someone else’s fault.

I'm not even sure this counts, but when Lottie says "Let the darkness set us free" and the score starts playing. I also love the use of Seventeen in the season 2 premiere.

Would yall kill me if I said I love Jackieshauna and Travnat equally. I also love Adult Mistynat, and I'm excited to see Misty develop an obsession for Nat in the past, though I don't see as much chemistry between Sammi and Sophie as Christina and Juliette have.

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi. I think every scene in that episode is a banger. Everything from the reunion, the bear scene, the Jackieshauna fight, Simone finding Biscuit, the Lottie reveal. And those are just my favorite parts.

Natalie for sure. I think it’s such a fascinating turn for the character. Bc when we meet her in s1, she’s very much an outsider despite being very important to the group. But in s2, the viewer starts to realize that this is a good thing bc while Tai and Shauna are sceptics, Nat’s the only one actually trying to wake everyone up. And that’s why I love that she’s made leader at the end of s2, (there’s sm I could say about that scene, from Nat’s grin to Ben’s reaction, but I’ll stay focused). Bc if Nat is the AQ, then the Wilderness’ biggest challenger becomes its biggest symbol. And I think this change is going to be motivated by the acceptance and importance she feels (which she never felt before) from this position, but she’ll risk losing it in s3 bc she’s still holding onto her morals, and she’ll ultimately have to choose. This also makes the guilt Adult Natalie feels so much more tragic.

I’ve rewatched the Jackieshauna fight and Jackie’s death scene so many times. Sophie Nelisse is one of a kind. I also fucking love the bacchanal feast.

Unfortunately, I’m now a Hillary Swank is Melissa truther and I will be until proven wrong. I get so attached to the most random characters lol. I also like the theory that she’s actually Melissa sister though. I’ll take this a step further and say that I hope Shauna is confirmed sapphic and has a toxic, Jackie-centered fling with her (I’d prefer this storyline with Lottie but Melissa works too).

My friend didn’t get me a birthday present despite saying she would (and it was just gonna be chocolate), but instead she got her crush a really thoughtful present even though her birthday was a month later and she didn’t even like my friend back. And I thought about how to talk to her about this, but instead I decided to eat all the edibles my brother gifted me myself even though I said I would share them with her. So, all this to say Shauna. I also look like her a lot.

Um... I once threw up on my carpet bc I drank too much cherry juice during a rewatch. The stain's still here.

I guess that I like Walter. I mean, he's far from my favorite character but he's okay. I get that most of the hate stems from how many unnecessary male characters are in the adult timeline, plus him resolving the cop storyline for Shauna was... weird. But he was funny and I'm never gonna complain about two absolutely insane ppl matching each other's freak. Obviously, Mistynat is vastly superior but if she marries Walter or whatever, I'll be fine with it because I know their wedding's gonna be absolute chaos. Also, the Caligula musical number is enough to justify his existence to me.

No pressure tags! @javiimartinez @missmillicentalyssa @mantiswitch @imsososolesbian @antlerqeen @moonagedaydreamsofrhiannon @hellhouse-of-horrors @justme-andmyfandomfeels @heartz4shauna

Starting a Yellowjackets tag!

I want to get my mind off of things so: If you want, answer any or all of the questions below and tag 10 people (or however many you want) who also might want to share! I would love to see what you guys have to say!

1. Are you team Rational or Supernatural?

2. Who is your favorite teen timeline character? Favorite adult timeline character?

3. What is your favorite needledrop?

4. What is your favorite ship?

5. What is your favorite episode?

6. Who do you want the Antler Queen to be?

7. What is your favorite scene in the entire series?

8. A theory or prediction you have about Season 3?

9. Which character do you relate to the most, and why?

10. What is the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of Yellowjackets?

Bonus:

11. What’s your most controversial Yellowjackets take?

—

Here’s mine!

1. I am mostly Team Rational because I love the way this show depicts trauma but I also love seeing the supernatural side of things through the survivors’ eyes if that makes sense.

2. Natalie in the teen timeline because I love her compassion and softness underneath the front she puts on. Lottie in the adult timeline because I love her internal battle with herself and how afraid she is of her own mind. Misty is a close second in the adult timeline!

3. “Cornflake Girl” playing while Nat sees the mossy tree for the first time, Callie seeing the Adam Martin driver’s license in the barbecue, and Shauna eating Jackie’s ear. It just goes so perfectly with everything that’s going on (especially the elevated piano while Nat and Travis are scaling the mountain and the lyrics while Shauna takes the bite!)

4. LottieNat is my favorite ship I can’t help it Nat and Lottie are my favorite characters so having them together is a dream (TaiVan, JackieShauna, and TravNat are up there, too).

5. 1x09 “Doomcoming” is just amazing and captures everything I love about Yellowjackets. I love when they let the girls go batshit crazy, hoping we get more Doomcoming vibes in S3.

6. I want the Antler Queen to be Natalie because that would show a true descent for her in the Wilderness from being the most morally grounded one to the leader of the group at their most unhinged and primal. But honestly I think that Shauna might be the AQ after all…

7. I think the Jackie-eating scene is the best in the entire show. The “Climbing Up the Walls” song choice, the bacchanal feast flashes as a way of coping with the horror of what they’re doing, seeing them go fully feral for the first time, it’s such a well crafted scene.

8. I know this probably won’t happen but I’m just going to throw it out there that Cabin Daughter is alive and she will be revealed to have been Javi’s “friend”!

9. I relate to Shauna the most because I also admittedly have a bit of an obsessive/intense personality and I, too, internalize my emotions to a very unhealthy degree sometimes. I also grew up being in love with my childhood best friend who is very, very much like Jackie (and now we have been dating for 7 years!)

10. Mine is a mix of going to a Yellowjackets panel and sitting like 5 feet from the showrunners, doing everything in my power to score early screening tickets to Heretic and Companion, and pretending I was sick so I could go home early from work the day that the S3 trailer came out.

11. The male characters on this show get too much hate🫢 I like Travis, Jeff, Kevyn, and Walter (even though his introduction and storyline are rushed and forced). I don’t like them more than the female characters, but I like them nevertheless and appreciate their contributions to the plot.

No pressure tags! (I’m tagging 15 bc I feel like it) @before-it-felt-like-a-sin @baked-potatoes-rule @jackiesnats @deerest-deer @whodoesnataliehave @stilllsage @fairytwles @glitterfairy-21225 @lesbianforlottie @tr4vnat @lauraleetaylor @cassioo @natsboygirlfriend @soapyjackets @pinkkkkat @natgf123 +literally anyone else who wants to!

[thewingedwolf]

bruh. i went for a walk bc it’s kinda nice out right. imagine my apartment is on the right hand corner of a triangle right. i was walking the triangle basically, but you can cut halfway down and shorten the walk (you basically just turn the walk into a trapezoid).

well there was a car driving really slowly down the same street as me. thought it was weird but whatever none of my business. still, it’s late, so instead of cutting across i walked the whole triangle so the car couldn’t see where i live. except then the car made a u turn, drove slowly back down the block, made ANOTHER u turn, then came back up. I’m at the top of the triangle, i can see the headlights doing all this. it’s weird but whatever, i turn and start down the last leg except THEN. when i get to where you’d come out if you cut the walk in half THAT CAR WAS JUST SITTING THERE. now mind you, cars can’t take that shortcut bc there’s a barrier there (but there’s sidewalk).

i see the car then turn and drive at a normal speed out of the short cut, down the the leg of the triangle. i got creeped out and instead of completing the triangle (and getting to my apartment) i ran across the street and ducked into the little subdivision across the street bc they don’t have street lights so once you get past the first few houses, you can’t see a person walking down. AND I SEE THE CAR SPEED PAST DOWN THE LAST LEG OF THE TRIANGLE and past my apartment.

so then i just made sure i couldn’t see it and hightailed it across the street and into my apartment before any other cars came. this is either the most weird, anxiety inducing coincidence i’ve ever experienced in my life or someone was being weird as shit on a goddamn tuesday night.

[rivetgoth]

i just got top surgery, if you can could you tell me about the whole process for you? i dont have any specific questions i need answered

Omg congrats on your surgery first of all!!

And sure!

I’m not sure which specific part of the process you’re curious about but I’m gonna focus on aftercare and recovery since I assume that would be your main focus right now.

I got double incision with free nipple grafts and drains. The moment I saw my chest for the first time I just remember feeling this sort of contentment and relief. Like “Oh, this is how it’s supposed to look.” The hospital I went to required patients to stay overnight so my first ~24 hours post-op were in a hospital bed hooked up to IV. I’m extremely grateful for this because by coincidence (the overnight stay was already planned in advance) I had a bad reaction to the anesthetic. I was entirely safe, nothing scary, but it causes me severe nausea and exhaustion and I didn’t feel loopy at all, just absolutely awful. I didn’t really sleep at all that night, I lay there falling asleep in weird short intervals, waking up, needing to pee, then stumbling back to bed. At one point I walked into the bathroom and it was covered in blood. I was so drugged out of my mind that I couldn’t really process it, it felt like I was dreaming.

After that the healing process was pretty easy though. I was prescribed antibiotics for like 10 days, oxycodone for half that time, and some really strong ibuprofen. They also gave me one of those anti-nausea patches on the back of my neck. I struggled with a bunch of nausea for the first day after getting out of the hospital but never threw up. I was pretty functional right away. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this but within the first 48 hours out of the hospital I was walking a few blocks to the closest grocery store and carrying groceries back. Felt like shit but survivable. About 4 days post-op I took a train 4-5 hours north to see family on my own then was in a car for another 4ish hours back home a couple days later. Just took a shitload of oxycodone and ibuprofen and played video games and listened to music the whole way, totally survivable. So it really wasn’t all that bad.

About 3 weeks post-op I went back to school and work. At the time I was on a pretty walking-heavy campus with tons of hills. I applied for short term disability just in case I had trouble carrying my textbooks around or walking up hills or something but tbh I never needed to utilize it, it was fine. I was super tired but fully functional. So overall I’d say recovery was pretty easy. I had limited mobility for a couple of weeks, it hurt to raise my arms above my head, needed help reaching some things and showering was a bit tricky, but over time that went away.

I’d say without a doubt the worst parts of recovery were:

Not being able to shower for the first week. This absolutely fucking sucked lol. I was so greasy it’s not even funny. I would try to rinse my hair with Angel’s help over the tub and do like sponge baths basically but it was NOT the same. Definitely recommend dry shampoo (we didn’t think of it until after). 

Sleeping on my back. I am NOT naturally a back sleeper. I really struggled with this. Having a dick piercing now I’ve gotten better at it lol but at the time especially it was so incredibly difficult to sleep this way, I was already crazy uncomfortable from surgery and being greasy and tired and sore and then on top of that I could NOT get comfortable to fall asleep.

I had some weird emotional and hormonal responses to the surgery. My period returned in full force about two weeks after my surgery for the first and only time since it stopped on T. At that time I also experienced some pretty nasty post-op depression. I think it was a mixture of weird dysphoria (mostly a sort of existential frustration that I had to go through the procedure in the first place), hormonal imbalances (again, my period returning…), and just general emotional response to recovering from a surgery and frustration with the minutia of the recovery process. I just felt really, really low. Tired and tired of being tired. This passed over time, but it was not fun.

Pettier complaints: Nipple grafts suck to heal and look disgusting at first. Trust the process lol. Wearing the compression vest is kind of annoying. I was like, dude, I got this surgery so I don’t have to bind anymore! 😭 Anesthetic can (and did) cause constipation. I had to buy laxatives. None of this was unbearable but it definitely all added up and contributed to the post-op depression.

Stay hydrated, eat well, take probiotics, take vitamins and supplements, take vitamin C and zinc, a small amount of exercise/physical movement is good but don’t overdo it, get lots of rest, and listen to your surgeon’s advice. If you’re not sure, ask.

I think my biggest advice is to remember that our bodies are pretty primitive things—Injury is injury to them. You’re getting a surgery you wanted to better your life longterm, your body is purely focused on healing, and is responding to awareness of an injury. It’s hard to feel super excited about the surgery right away, you’ll be too deep in your body’s healing response to physical trauma. It’s exhausting at times and it can almost feel like your body is working against you. It’s NOT. I found undergoing top surgery (and transitioning in general) to be an amazing meditative process in aligning your brain to your body better, but that’s a process, a relationship you form through work the same as any other. You need to trust your body’s natural healing process.

Bodies are weird and healing is messy. I had weird inexplicable symptoms that I’d tell myself I’d contact my surgeon about if they persisted or worsened and they didn’t. I had UTI-like symptoms for a day that went away on their own. I had really uncomfortable weird restless leg syndrome for a night or two. One of my drains came detached from the tape holding it down and it had no negative effect. One of my nipples looked vaguely infected but my surgeon was unconcerned and it healed fine. None of this was serious, try not to worry if things seem a little odd, unless symptoms get progressively worse, show no signs of getting better, or are really, really obvious signs of infection/complication. Just listen to your body and take care of it. 

I felt comfortable going out shirtless after about… a year or so? It took about that much time for things to settle. For a few months it almost looked like I had excess skin sagging on the sides, this went away by the 12ish month mark. Nowadays I don’t do any body building but I try to do some push ups every day to keep my chest somewhat fit. 4 years in and sensation is still minimal, definitely doesn’t have the same sensitivity as the rest of my body, but it also continues to return every day! Literally to this day I notice new shooting nerve sensations growing deep in my chest now and again. A few months ago I had notable nipple sensation for the first time since the surgery. My scars are still fading, although my chest generally seems to pass for cis irl which is awesome.

I could go on and on about all the small details but I think I’ve talked your head off enough for now hahaha. I love my results and I’d do the whole process over again a thousand times if it meant having what I have now. Literally changed (and saved) my life.

[hearthandheathenry]

so I’m not sure if this is a sort of ask you’d be able to help with.

I’m very much a believer in mundane before magic. Things like do I have a headache from the lights or is the energy bad in a room? yknow

Anyway- in my head I know it’s silly, and that it’s just my hormones from being on my period- but a part of me thinks that’s it a bit of an interesting coincidence that the peak of my period was on the solar eclipse. This month I’m a few weeks off than regular and it sucked wayyy worse than usual. I was running hot all day and the eclipse was awesome but at night I had a bad fever. I was feeling my emotions worse than normal.

And- again here’s the part that I doubt the most/ think it’s probably just my brain making it up- I cannot for the life of me stop dreaming and daydreaming and thinking about this person I’ve not seen before. Now I’m no stranger to dabbling in more casual manifestation and attraction of friends and good opportunities. I’ve prayed to different gods or left offerings while asking for a friend or someone who could be a partner. The god I’ve been recently making offerings for and researching is a lesser known one from antiquity. Very much fertility and weather- I wonder if now my periods will just be worse since starting my worship lol.

In the back of my head I sorta wanted to do something on the eclipse anyway. It’s not a specific person, but I can’t stop thinking about this gorgeous person. It started when my period started but it’s continued after it. Again this is where I doubt the most since duh I just keep thinking about my ideal guy etc, but, I also had some weird dreams, a lot of imagery of Set from kemetism and birds and this person all jumbled together. Plus while out and about I saw a lot more Egyptian imagery and birds and romantic symbols and shit. It’s just in the very back of my head that I’m thinking maybe my past manifesting/spell work efforts are gonna pay off. Or maybe even someone is doing something and attracting an energy and I happen to be more sensitive to it. Idk just weird coincidences that have been irking me.

Sorry if this ended up being a weird ramble but I really wanted to write out how I was feeling and thought fuck it might as well send in an ask since I never really have much to say.

feel free to not respond if u don’t wanna 👍

also props to ur blog it’s very informative much luv :)

I didn't realize I received an ask, so sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience! I'm always happy to chat or give my 2 cents about anything!

First, I absolutely believe the eclipse can affect your period, so no worries there and it's not crazy or anything. Our menstrual cycles are based on the lunar calendar, every 28 days or so (some are just slightly longer or shorter, but the average is 28 days) and if the moon can affect the tides so completely, it absolutely can affect us humans who are 1 made up of a bunch of water ourselves and 2 are also energetic beings that can be sensitive to magnetic changes like any other being. There's some really cool research videos from NASA showing the magnetic fields around earth moving with the eclipse, feel free to check them out! Everything around us, especially large things with massive energy like the sun or moon, can absolutely affect our bodies! I'm not sure if you were in the path of the eclipse at all, but I'm in northern Illinois and we were at about 93% totality by me and even with that, you could absolutely feel it whether you were inside or not. My husband, child, and I all got huge bursts of energy and it was very overwhelming. My husband described it as an anxious feeling as he's not yet super in touch with his bodily feelings and energy and didn't enjoy the experience, but I could tell for me it felt very neutral but overwhelming, so I leaned into it and used to get excited and get things done. It was again though, very overwhelming, which is why a lot of people don't enjoy eclipses or claim they're chaotic energy. A huge burst of energy will always feel weird! Everyone around us and anyone who we spoke to absolutely felt the same. SO, in conclusion, absolutely could your menstrual cycle be affected.

Now, in regards to the imagery you've been experiencing and you looking into kemetism, I did a little digging myself since I'm not super familiar with kemetism and I found some pretty interesting things! I started off researching the God Set(Seth) since you mentioned him, and noticed the egyptianmuseum.org had mentionrd him being associated with eclipses, not just storms and such, but even more than that he had a long-standing tiff with the God Horus the Younger who ultimately bested him and took over his late-fathers throne. Horus the Younger was represented by a falcon and associated with healing, protection, the sun, and the sky. I'm not sure if this is the God you were making offerings to, but perhaps he is the one answering your calling and you are getting glimpses into a little about him and his journey to steer you towards recognizing who is answering you. They do say that if we focus on something we want, we begin to see it everywhere, even if we don't want to, but also many spiritual people who reach out to their Gods and Goddesses report seeing representstions and messages from them before they realize who is trying to communicate with them. So, perhaps Horus the Younger is the one trying to make contact with you. Or, if you've been manifesting a good partner for yourself, perhaps the man you've been seeing is closely tied with Horus or perhaps follows him spiritually. Or maybe he even just embodies the good characteristics of the God and your brain is choosing to represent him in this imagery. There's a lot of "what ifs" from an outside perspective, and only you will know what rings true to you and your situation. Hopefully some of my ideas and such will spark some clarity on your situation and you will figure out what messages you're receiving from the universe to continue on the path you want to lead. I definitely implore you to open your heart to the messages and synchronicities that appear to you in your life, as our guides are always walking along side us in our journey and the universe whole heartedly supports you in every decision you make. Not everything is a sign, but if it feels like it is, then it probably is. Learn to trust your gut and lead with instinct and be open to the energy around you, and just use your brain to keep you in check from becoming too far gone so that you can still be safe within your reality, instead of held back by anxiety or worry about simply being weird.

On another side note, just with the period and everything, I personally implore you to also maybe use this as a sign to learn more about your menstrual cycle if you've been working with fertility gods and your cycle was suddenly changed by the eclipse! There is so much us women aren't taught and we usually find out ourselves as adults doing research. Understanding the phases of our cycle, what's going on in our body and with our hormones, etc are all things that can lead us to better health, better periods, and a better understanding of ourselves biologically AND spiritually (you'd be amazed at how much power a woman holds thanks to her cycle). There's also so many cool unexplainable things that happen in regards to a woman's body and our ability to create! Did you know at the moment of conception when a sperm meets an egg that there's a flash of light scientists can't explain? Did you know that breastmilk is so complex and tailored to each baby and feeding that we can't reproduce it in a lab? Did you know that your energy levels directly follow your menstrual cycle and affect everything you do from weightlifting or exercise to needing to eat more or less to needing more or less sleep? Theres so much knowledge we've lost that women are now reclaiming and teaching and I love every part of it. I think every woman (and man tbh) should go on a journey of learning about their own fertility cycles and such.

Hopefully this was at least a little bit helpful for you! Best of luck on your journey!

[missymurphy1985]

Friends with Added Benefits

Part one of ?

Warnings - smut / daddy kink / breeding kink

You and Cillian had been working together on Peaky Blinders since the beginning- it had become a FWB situation at the end of Series 4 after a drunken kiss at the wrap party. Both of you had kept it completely secret, hooking up solely while you were filming series 5 and living out your own lives the rest of the year, but what happens when things take an unexpected turn as series 6 begins filming?

A/N - Cillian is single, and has no children. Reader is in her early 30s, and plays Tommy Shelby's wife.

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby

You sat on the floor of the bathroom and took a deep breath. Now or never y/n... A sudden voice jolted you from your thoughts.

"Y/n, you in there?" What the fuck was he doing here? How did he get into your apartment?

"Sorry, yeah.. I'll be out in a minute..." You flushed the toilet and quickly hurried out of the bathroom.

Cillian greeted you with a warm smile, sat on your sofa with the TV remote in his hand already flicking through the channels.

"You left the door unlocked - came in to make sure you were okay, you seemed a bit off onset today?" He patted the sofa next to him for you to sit down.

"Sorry... Just a bit tired I guess, only been back a day and I'm done already!" He lifted an arm to pull you into and you happily accepted the invitation.

"So series 6 then.. the last one," you sighed, curling your legs over his.

"Yep. Only gotta put up with me for another 16 weeks and you're free to do as you please. Or who you please at least," he kissed the top of your head and chuckled, you feigned your own chuckle in response. You knew this was just a 'filming only hook up', but you couldn't help but feel a bit sad. You'd looked forward to Peaky restarting again the second each series had finished. You knew though, that there was no tying Cillian Murphy down - other women had tried, but he was a happy, carefree bachelor. You'll make the most of the next 16 weeks together and move on.

Before long his fingers made their way over your hips, circling slowly as they crawled over your stomach.

"Does our agreement still stand or do I need to stop?" He whispered, sending a shiver down your spine.. that fucking accent...

"I'm single again, if that's what you're asking me.."

"Again?"

"I was seeing someone.. I ended it a month ago." He pulled back slightly.

"Sorry y/n.. were you with him long?"

"Just a few months, nothing serious it was just a casual type thing. He decided he couldn't compete with Thomas Shelby."

"You told him about us?!"

"No, the rumours have been flying for YEARS Cillian! He wouldn't believe me when I told him it wasn't true.."

"That's because it is true, and you're a terrible liar!" He smirked, before pushing your body down on the sofa, covering it with his own.

"He'd certainly have his work cut out for him wouldn't he?" You smirked back. "You gonna show me what I've been missing Mr Murphy?"

"I absolutely am Miss y/l/n... But let me shower first? I'm still wearing the makeup from earlier and it's pissing me off!" He kissed you lightly on the nose before grabbing one of your towels out the cupboard and heading into the bathroom.

He came out 10 minutes later, towel wrapped round his waist and stood next to the sofa, brow furrowed.

"What's this for y/n?" You looked up and your heart sank. In his hand was the pregnancy test box you'd hidden in your cabinet - clearly not hidden too well.

"Well it isn't for baking cakes Cill..."

"Are you pregnant?"

"I don't know yet, I haven't taken one.."

"Well what are you waiting for? Come on." He took your hand and handed you one of the tests. "Go do it. Now." You couldn't help but laugh at his insistence and went to pee on the stick.

Coming back out with the test in your hand two minutes later, you held it up to show him, tears in your eyes as your chin wobbled. He was pulling his jeans back on as he took the test from you.

"Okay well now I'm confused? It's negative - why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying, I'm fine.." you choked, wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

"Come on, y/n... What's wrong?" He pulled you over to the sofa and sat you down, squeezing your hands, worry written all over his face.

"You wouldn't understand Cillian, just leave it okay?"

"Did you want it to be positive?" You looked into his eyes and burst into tears, nodding. "You wanted his baby?"

"It wasn't that.. Cillian I'm 32 years old. Kinda thought I'd be married with a kid or two by now you know? I'm sorry okay, I'm just being stupid..."

"What's stupid about wanting children of your own?"

"Because I'm never going to have it am I?"

"Says who?" You took a deep breath.

"Look it's crazy okay, I'm just hormonal and crazy..."

"Okay you're not crazy y/n. Pretty sure it's normal to want children and marriage, I'm just an oddball!" He laughed. He'd made no secret of the fact he had no paternal instincts at all.

"Thing is... I don't want marriage. Not even a relationship.. just a baby. Still think I'm normal?"

"You might struggle there y/n.. I don't need to have 'the talk' with you, do I?" He smirked.

"No Cillian I'm well aware.. I was thinking of adoption maybe, or a sperm donor?"

"Admirable for the adoption route. Terrifying for the other one, you could end up with anything..."

"True. Kinda leaning more towards all of that though.. the feeling of carrying my own baby is just.. it's exciting I guess. I'm freaking you out, aren't I?"

"Strangely.. no. In fact, I have an idea."

"What?"

"You want a baby, but not a father, right?"

"Right."

"The dad doesn't need to be involved at all, ever, yeah?"

"Nope, never. I don't need help emotionally, financially, nothing."

"Well let's make a baby then." Your neck nearly snapped with the force you looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?!"

"I have exactly what you're looking for, right? I have decent genes, copious amounts of sperm as you know very well," he smirked. You weren't laughing though.

"You're insane, you can't possibly think this is a good idea?"

"Why not? You've made it clear that you're not interested in a relationship - that's one of my boxes ticked. I get to have sex with you without a condom - second box ticked. I get to fuck a pregnant woman - third box ticked. Kinda been a fantasy for a while..." You raised an eyebrow at his last admission.

"Do we have a daddy kink, Cillian?"

"Yeah, without the desire to actually be a Daddy. Just the thought of you.. swollen belly.. breasts overflowing... Fuck y/n you'd look sexy as hell..." He made his way over to you, the bulge in his jeans evidence of his arousal at the thought of you being pregnant.

"And you'd sign over all parental rights to me?"

"Just tell me where to sign..." His hands cupped your face gently as he pushed his body against yours, backing you up towards your bedroom.

"No weirdness... No one would know the baby was yours?"

"No one..." He pulled at your t shirt, lifting it over your head before crashing his lips against yours, both of you falling onto the bed together as he pushed his erection against your core hard. Unhooking your bra and throwing it across the room, his lips found your nipple, sucking and nibbling on it as he pulled your jeans and underwear down your legs.

"Fuck.. Cillian.. you need to be sure about this..."

"Never been more sure of anything y/n.. I'm gonna put a baby in you... Let me put a baby in you..."

You gave in when his fingers entered you, pulling forward finding that one spot inside that only he could find. Your hips bucked against his hand as your eyes closed, mouth open gasping his name.

"Fuck I've missed this... Don't stop..." His lips were on your neck, leaving marks that your makeup artist wouldn't thank you for tomorrow but you didn't care in the slightest, the need in you too much.

"I need to feel you on me y/n... Come for me girl..." his fingers pulled harder and faster, sending you over the edge while his voice whispered in your ear. Within seconds of your orgasm he pushed his length inside you with a hard groan, lifting your leg over his elbow. Your nails digging into his shoulders as he thrust his hips, hitting that sensitive spot over and over again.

"Yes... Fuck yes baby fill me up..."

"You want this huh? Fuck you feel good bareback... I can feel all of you..."

"You feel so good Cillian... Filling me up... So fucking deep..."

"Fuck.. I'm gonna come... Jesus y/n..." The sensations too much, he spilled into you, you could feel ropes of his cum deep inside as your walls milked him for all he had. He fell onto your chest, pushing himself as deep inside as he could.

"I'm not letting any of this fall out... Need it to take... Stay on your back." You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling him softening inside you.

"You really want to do this, don't you?"

"If it makes you happy, yes. You want a baby, I want to give you a baby. You don't want a father, I don't want to be one. I see no problem with any of this."

"And if the baby looks like you?"

"Crazy coincidence."

"If you change your mind?"

"About what? Being involved? I won't, trust me."

"Reckon we've made a baby tonight?"

"We may well have done. I still get to fuck you if we have, though, right?"

"Damn right you do - you're giving me a baby, least I can do is give you a pregnancy fuck to say thank you," you laughed as he pulled out slowly, kissing your lips then down to your belly.

"You better hurry up in there, I've got a fantasy to cash in on..." You batted him away laughing as he moved over to collect his clothes. He never stayed overnight, it would raise too much suspicion. He winked at you as you lay on the bed, and headed out the door smiling.

This might just work out, you smiled, curling under the sheets and drifting off, dreaming of your blue eyed baby.

[yayeetsonny]

Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader

Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)

-N

Previously...

“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”

I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.

“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”

Present

After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.

After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory

“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”

“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.

That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.

“No, I don’t remember doing that.”

I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.

“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.

My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?

I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.

Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;

“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali

“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T

“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen

“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash

“where r u?”- Mal

“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex

And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.

Meanwhile back at the Hotel...

CHRISTEN PRO//

“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”

“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”

“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”

“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”

“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”

“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”

“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”

“I have no idea but we have to try.”

“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

“You’re right.”

“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”

“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.

“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.

“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.

I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.

“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.

We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.

“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”

“Right, you’re right.”

“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.

“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.

“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”

“It’s possible.”

“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”

“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said

“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.

“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly

“Kid...”

“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”

“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”

“Y/N... we need to talk.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.

“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”

“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”

“No.”

“Y/N, please just...”

“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”

“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”

“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.

“Well... that went well.”

“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”

//End

Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.

I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.

-N

//

Not edited.

[stylistiquements]

Day 1 : Soap Bubbles.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : You're being introduce to the internet in a peculiar way, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.4k | W: written part underneath

𐐪𐑂 Warning : very few swears

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

The coffee that sinks inside your stomach brings out a grimace and a click of your tongue where the taste stains; too bitter, too acidic but you’ll drink it anyway and to the last drop; there is something about the idea of spending time with three best friends that is so made of spring and honey that you wish to miss none of it.

“Someone is lurking,” George contemplates out loud, and the call goes silent for a second as if to look for the intruder. And it would so easy to flinch, to hit the back pedal, because you almost feel like one being exposed front stage like that. But today- today is not that day.

It's not that you don't want to join the discussion, it's that it takes a second to warm up, to absorb the energy and become one with it.

And sometimes, all it takes is Sapnap to exclaim, “Panini head, my beloved!” for your smile synchronizes with his chuckles. Somehow, once noticed by the right person, life flows back naturally.

George and Dream greets you in trailing unison, like two kids forced to greet their unwelcomed aunt on a sunday afternoon.

“H-hey troublemakers,” you finally say. Your voice is still quiet, not reluctant, but rather uncertain. It doesn't bother anyone.

“I’m beating Dream’s ass at chess and he’s bitter,” Sap explains, and you silently nod, as if they were able to see you.

A long silence follows along, rythmed by clicks of mouses and keyboards and it falls in your ears like high droplets. It's comfortable. It's intimate, shared with friends only.

"We haven't heard from you in a while," Dream says. "I mean ... before the clout fiasco."

You wouldn't exactly call it a fiasco, even though you don't really like the idea of being perceived a little too closely from the eyes of twitter.com, but you do agree anyway, "I've been caught up on college essays lately."

"That sucks," George probably adds.

“Good thing you’re here, then,” Dream notes, simple as a breath. “This is a worry-free zone.”

It hovers for a second, carried by George’s approval hum.

You squint suspiciously, detective mode, at the profile pictures that light on and off before your eyes, “Thanks, dream.”

He scoffs a “sure” and you’re not sure why you sense a bit of irony stuck on the back of his teeth. You're so tempted to call him out, but you don't. Instead, you write a mental note of this odd moment.

“It’s because I told him about your three brothers and now he’s scared they’re gonna find him and kick his ass,” Sap explains as if he just read your mind.

Sometimes, there’s this thing in the air, though you’re miles away. Something like a connection. There’s this thing when you don’t need to talk for Sap to understand. Sharing one brain cell, you dismiss ironically. Probably coincidences and predictability, but it always sounds a little special, a little like something you’d wish to be out of this world, like morning dew and fairy circles. And it makes you feel safe, at home, just like snuggling up in the sheets during a stormy night. Your smile washes up the sleeve of your hoodie, covered palm carefully hiding your chuckles.

“Three older brothers,” George muses, and there’s no telling if it’s something meant for you to hear. “That’s kinda scary.”

“You better be scared, one of them is probably your FBI agent,” you tease mindlessly, though there's nothing scary about those three grown men.

“I’m British, Bunny,” he points out. Whether the exasperation in his tone is fake or genuine, that, you can’t tell, but you play it cool, grin carved so deep it almost hurts. Dream’s wheezes rise and fall in the background.

“Say that to his face then,” you outbid smirkingly after a second of silence, heels growing into the carpet to make your chair spin slowly left and right, so breezily.

“I’d praise you for the rest of my life if you-Oooooooh your ass is wacked. Your ass is so wacked, dude. You fucked up so bad,” Sapnap chokes out between strings of giggles.

“Oh no, my streamer is losing his game?” You theatrically pout. “My streamer Dreamwastaken, have you met him? Guess you don’t need any of my brothers to kick your ass.”

“Okay yeah- no- it’s not my fault if your- they’re distracting me, okay?” Dream defends.

Slowly, the energy lowers again and the call remembers peace as Dream admits defeat.

“I’m not playing against you anymore,” he mumbles through greeted teeth, your hoodie shelters a muffled giggle. “Let’s talk about y/n’s twitter fame instead.”

“Let’s just not-” you mutter, both because seeing Dream lose at something is a miracle that has to be witnessed once and because you’re somewhat reluctant. “Let’s just not talk about that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea it would draw this much attention to you,” Sap admits.

“Well, you talk about her all the time it was only a matter of time before twitter finds out,” George taunts and you secretly smile, listening to the way your best friend tries to defend himself, mind flooded with the last memories you have of when you were able to see those chuckles for real.

“Yeah, Quackity already told me you guys talk behind my back,” you fakely muse. “That’s totally fine, I don’t wanna know what you guys are talking about at all.” It’s a lie, obviously, the idea creeps upon your mind with assumptions you can’t quite get a grip of nor let go.

“You and Quackity talk?’ Sapnap asks, hint of surprise, and you hum.

“Or rather, he talks to me. He keeps calling-.” Shit. The forsaken word traps itself into your mouth. It’s too silly anyway.

“Come on, just say it,” Dream pushes as if he knew too much, more than you even do, and your cheeks flush mindlessly. You don’t notice.

“Dream, quit it!” You demand.

“Quit what?”

“You talk as if you knew more than anyone did.”

“Maybe I just do,” he coos, so dream-like.

Oblivious or careless, Sapnap asks, “Is Quackity bothering you or something?”

“He-" you begin but stop to look for the right way to put it, "He triggers my flight or fight response.”

"I mean, duh," Sapnap probably rolls his eyes.

"But I like him. He's funny."

After a second of silence, George says, “Well that was unexpected.”

“Not so much, I think we’re both chaotic neutral people.”

“What is that neutral chaotic thing anyway?” Dream is confused.

Roll up your sleeve girl boss because now is your time to shine! You offer your best dream smp alignment chart to the classroom. They're speechless, but they listen carefully.

"Then you're more chaotic good than neutral. You're too sweet anyway," Sap says.

"I'd even say lawful good," George debates.

"That's because you haven't seen Bunny during her crazy cat hour."

"True," you note.

"She'll go absolutely batshit."

“What?" George burst between confusion and surprise. "We've never seen you like that."

"A lady never reveal her secrets," you retort. No one answer.

It leaves a second for your mind to enjoy peace. For your eyes to lay on c!tubbo on lawful good and think true, then on c!dream on chaotic evil and think also very true. You huff and it's like a wave; as sarcasm leaves your breath, an idea comes in.

"Sap, check your DMs," you request.

Surrounded by the evening lull, Sapnap’s laugh pops like soap bubbles, "God, you’re so stupid. Why can't you just marry me?"

“So, is it Sapnap approved?” You chuckle lightly to prevent Sapnap’s morning fresh laugh to fill your chest and leak everywhere.

“Just press ‘send tweet’ please,” he confirms with leftovers of a smile in his voice.

"George, get me out of here. They're doing it again," Dream whines.

"Doing what?" He asks, unbothered.

"Act like they're alone in the convo. Just get a room." And you don't get to stand up for yourself that you and your best friend are actually sent to another room.

"Well this one is chaotic evil confirmed," you mumble as you roll your eyes but the vibes are much peaceful, much more comfortable in here. "So ... hi."

"Hi," he chuckles in return.

Maybe that's for the best; a moment that needs to stay a little timeless, secretive and special. It hasn't happened in so long, you don't even remember the last time it did.

"I'm glad you're here. I miss you, you know?" He says, and it's hard to not feel so bittersweet about it. It's hard when longing involves a craved touch, a real smile and an eye contact. Your shoulder sinks in the chair a little harder.

"I miss you too. I'll be here soon," you promise. And soon couldn't come any sooner.

But the conversation, soft and free, will wash up any worries, as always, and you'll end up talking about everything and nothing, about streams and planned videos and college and god knows what. As long as it makes the two of you happy and smiling. Just like the old days, you'll both think and it's fair to say until the evening turns into night and night turns into fatigue.

"Are you sure you're okay about that clout?" He asks once again. "I know you don't like being exposed like that."

"Yeah, yeah don't worry too much about it. I'll try to make good use of it."

"I'm sure you will," he murmurs, but oh boy did he not know what was about to come until you two meet.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge

A/N : so first of all it has come to my attention that 129 days from now on is actually my birthday so that's a weird coincidence lol. Hi how are you guys?? welcome to the first part I hope you liked it. I'm fairly new to the mcyt community and that's the first time I write for them, so bear with me. Feedbacks are always appreciated. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

[mypimpademia]

This may sound odd but bear with me. So deku, kiri, and katsuki have seen black people before but when they saw you they were like ??? A goddess??? Like star struck. Can I get headcanon on how they reacted seeing for you the first time?

Midoriya x black!reader, Kirishima x black!reader, Katsuki x black!reader

TW: Swearing

Note: waaagcghv this concept is so cute🥺

Taglist: @myhoodacademia @bnhainthewoo @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixxfi @soy-darcei @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @sheepydumpling @lilsparkyswife

MIDORIYA.

Now we all know how he gets when he sees someone he finds pretty

So when you walked into class on the first day, his face immediately started turning red

And he nearly died when Aizawa had you sit behind him

Probably has to ask to use the bathroom just so he can step out for a second

"Oh my gosh they're so gorgeous, do I even deserve to be sitting next to them? To be in the same room as them? TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEM???"

He really needs to calm down because his head is gonna start steaming

And hes "mumbling" so loud that anyone in a 10 feet radius can hear him

Midoriyas condition only gets worse when you try to talk to him

"Hey, Midoriya, right?"

All this boy can manage is a nod, while he looks at you starstruck

"I'm Y/n, I just though I should talk to you since we sit by each other. Are... are you good...?"

Midoriya is blushing like crazy and sweating bullets

Like looking at you could make him burn calories

He gives you a small 'mhm'

You just leave him be because you think you either did something or hes sick

He gets used to it throughout the day, but sometimes he'll catch himself absent mindedly staring at you

Sounds creepy (and it is, but just a lil), but its actually kinda cute because he's all blushy and he's biting his lip

He clearly thinks you're pretty, but doesn't know how to say it

Whew chile... since its usually golden hour whenever school ends, this boy passes out for a min

He didn't think you could get any prettier, but you did

And just from a little sunlight

You've been worried bout him all day, and now he's passing out

So when he comes to, you tap his face a little

"You aight? You passed out for a sec."

Passes out again

The next day he apologizes for acting weird, and says he was feeling weird and lowkey lets it slip that it was all because he thinks you're pretty

You might be the death of him

KIRISHIMA.

This lil baby

Hes so starstruck

He looks at you with these big soft eyes and a lil blush

He doesn't even know what to say because he's never seen someone so pretty

Pretty is an understatement

But he doesn't say shit because he doesn't wanna slip up and weird you out

You get sat right in from of him, and he immediately tries to make friends with you

Ask you what junior high you came from, compliments your hair, anything to make small talk

And the whole time he's just flushed pink because wow you're so beautiful🥺

Eiji sneaks a few glances at you for the rest of the day, you just give him a mood boost

At the end of the day, you talk again, just about how your day was, and he compliments you again because he can't help it

"Oh, you said that earlier, but thank you!"

"I did? Ah crap I'm sorry, youre just so pretty I couldn't help it. I- I mean–."

You just laugh and tell him thank you again while he goes beet red and apologizes over and over

Eiji could lose his mind over you

BAKUGO.

His hard headed ass😒

When you first walked into class, he didn't bother to get a good look at you, but did think you were attractive

But it wasn't till you accidentally bumped into each other that he finally took in your full essence

You just bumped his shoulder a little while walking through the crowded halls

"Oh shit, my bad." Was all you said and then you continued walking

Chile... he was about to yell 'watch it extra' until he saw you

You were so fucking gorgeous that you even got Katsuki Bakugo to shut the hell up

Just the thought of yelling at someone that looked as good as you felt like a crime

Everyone that saw it happen was fucking appalled, but didn't dare say anything

Katsuki definitely sneaks more than a few glances at you throughout the day

If you catch him he'll scoff and look away, and might have the smallest blush on his face

Don't expect a word out of him though, because he doesn't pay attention to "extras"🙄

By the end of the day, you feel like him constantly looking at you isn't a coincidence

And his bad attitude is no secret either, so you say something just to check

"You been lookin' at me all day, is there a problem? Do I got somethin' on me? Like what's goin' on?"

And he honestly liked that bc most people would be too pussy to say shit like that to him so he just found you even more gorgeous

But like I said, hard headed

"I wasn't fuckin' starin' at you."

And then he walked away

But you did not miss that lil blush he had, so you let it slide👀

The next day when STILL looking you decided to mess with him just because

"Take a picture, it lasts longer."

Katsuki scoffs at you again, but 100% goes to ask Denki for your Instagram

Congrats, you got thee Katsuki Bakugo to shut up just by being drop dead gorgeous💖

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 1 

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk

word count: 2k

a/n: i have this idea while watching a movie about parallel universes and all, so i just wanted to try this out. it will be a 10 parts series! im not really sure about this, i think i kinda hate it but im posting it anyways lmao. i hope you gonna enjoy!

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You woke up feeling dizzy and with a major headache. At first you thought it was because you drank a whole lot of wine last night but then you saw yourself in a room you never saw before. You stoop up quickly trying to understand where you were and how did you end up there. You were sure that you have never been in this place before, and it was scaring you that you showed up in there.

There was a mirror nailed to the wall in from of you almost forcing you to look at your own body, that made you notice that you were still wearing the same clothes from last night, but you weren’t home. Not being home was odd given by the fact you stayed there with your family and two friends you invited over, since there’s a whole freaking pandemic going on and you for sure did not want to get sick or get other people sick. 

“Did I get kidnapped?” you think out loud. “No, I just watch too much Criminal Minds.” you tell yourself, trying to calm down.

You reach for the face mask placed on the nightstand, getting ready to leave this random place and go home. You tried not to freak out when you realized your phone was gone and the only cellphone in there was probably as old as your grandmother. You dialed your moms number about five times and all of them went on voicemail, making you curse mentally. 

This can’t be happening. Not to me.

As soon as you leave the apartment you were in you realized you weren’t in your hometown, definitely not. It was crowded, like, really crowded and no one was wearing any face masks. Where did the freaking pandemic go? You wondered while you felt like a misfit for being the only one wearing it. 

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” you ask an old lady walking by.

“You’re on Main Street, sweetheart.” she says.

“No, um, I mean the city.” you watched as the old lady looked at you with a funny face, as if she was calling you crazy on her mind.

“We’re in Quantico, dear.”

“Quantico?” you repeat, mostly for yourself then for her. The lady started at you like you were an alien. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

The air started to go low on you, how did you get to Virginia, anyway? That was across the country from where you lived, Bellevue in Washington state. You started lost walking, trying to understand what the hell was going on. It felt like you were on a parallel universe, like you were in a dream but couldn't wake up and it sure felt very real. You stoped a jornal shop taking a lot at the last newspaper in there, trying to figure if something happened that you were missing. However, nothing reported there shocked you, what did, though, was the date. 

July 1st, 2008

You were about to ask someone about it when you bumped into a blonde woman, falling on the ground. As soon as you looked up, you almost chocked yourself. If the day was already weird, this was even weirder. A.J Cook was standing right in front of you with a concerned look. You couldn't really say anything, just staring at her like she wasn't real. It was weird seeing her in front of you after only seeing her through screens. 

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she offered a hand for you to get up. “Are you ok?”

“I- um, yes! I’m fine.” you san, getting the dirt out of your outfit. “I’m a big fan of yours! Wish I had my phone here to take a picture but- sorry.“ you stoped talking, realizing she probably doesn’t care.

“Big fan of me? Wow, howcome somebody’s a fan of me?” she sounds surprised.

“Well, you’re on Criminal Minds.” you say as it was obvious. 

She looked at you as if you were out of your mind. Not that you weren't thinking otherwise at the moment, anyways. 

“I’m on what now?” she asked.

Maybe you got confused and she was the wrong person, but she looked so much like her to not be her. If they were not the same person, then definitely twins. This was so weird, once again, you found yourself asking ‘what the hell’ mentally.

“You’re JJ, Jennifer Jareau, FBI Agent and all.” you say, trying one more time. “Behaviour Analysis Unit...”

“Yea, that‘s me.” she let a nervous laugh comes out of her mouth. “How do you know me?”

‘This is weird’ you thought. How does she not understand where you know her from? Literally Criminal Minds, like you said at first. ‘Maybe this is all a dream.’

“I saw you on tv” you try.

“Oh, I see! You like law enforcement?” she asks you.

“Oh yes, I’m in law-school to be a judge someday.” you answered. “The show, all of it just makes me wanna put all them bad guys in jail.” you say, laughing a bit. 

“The show...? What?” you hear her whisper, but decide to ignore it. “What’s the mask about?” JJ asks, making you look at her surprised.

“Um, covid-19?” you say like it’s obvious, because it is.

“Oh, sure...” she smiles as she says it, almost like she's only agreeing because she won't discuss it. “Great talking to you, really, but I gotta go, FBI duty calls.” she jokes.

You smile at her watching carefully as she picks up her phone from her pocket and pick up a call. That phone looked awfully old, like 2000’s old. Why would a famous actress have that kinda of phone? Then, you looked around trying to understand more about what was going on. It was all too out of place.

First, nobody wearing masks, not even a single person but you. Second, you were in a city in which is miles away from your own. Third, a famous actress acted like she’s nobody. And fourth, the date on the calendar said 2008.

If it wasn’t just impossible I would say I time travelled into Criminal Minds universe.

After standing there for literal 10 minutes trying to figure it out what you were going to do, you decide to go to the police department. After all, you may have been abducted, right? Because you didn’t have any knowledge of the place, you took quite some time to get there. As soon as you got there you sigh in relief, that has been quite a walk and damn, you were tired of this situation. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you help me?” you ask to the lady standing behind the counter.

“Sure, dear. What do you need?” she looks up at you, taking her glasses of her face.

“I think I might have been abducted?” you start. “I woke up in this random apartment.”

“Maybe you had a one-night stand.” she said putting back her glasses.

“No! I am sure I didn’t because first of all, there’s a pandemic going on, second of all I was in Bellevue in Washington state when I went to sleep.” you yell, involuntarily, desperate to make her believe in you. 

“Miss, I’m gonna need you to calm down or you will be escorted out of the building. You’re probably on drugs, there's nothing we can do for you.”

“Fuck you.” you say as you watch her face get all red.

Frustrated. That could define what you were feeling, scared and worried could do the work, as well. What were you going to do now? Go to the FBI to see if they could freaking understand why you simply appeared in Quantico? Didn't sound like a bad idea in your mind as you decided to just try it out. After all, you were already pretty screwed up, it would worth a shot.

You reached for your back pocket, hoping that the money you shoved in there more than a week ago would still be in there. Bingo! You pull out a 20 dollar bill out of it and the next thing you know you’re getting into a cab asking him to take you to the FBI. Now that’s something you never thought would happen. The travel was quite quick, in 20 minutos you were standing in front of that big isolated building. It looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite show, that was insane. 

The wind blew hard on you when you got out of the vehicle, making you shiver a little, that reminded you that you did not have any clothes nor money to buy more. God, you did not even have where to go. You didn't even get the chance to get into the building as a big man steps in front of you, blocking your way. 

“Miss, you're not allowed in this building.” he said without much expression. 

“But, sir-” you started, as you saw he was about to interrupt you, you go on. “Ive been abducted and I don't know where or how the hell did I get in here, I’m completely hopeless... Please.” you beg him.

He started at you for a couple of seconds, that felt like centuries for you, just to sigh at you.

“Ok, follow me.” he said. “Do not make me regret this.” 

“I-I won’t, sir.” you were quick to answer. 

The agent asked another man to cover up for him as he led me into the building. Once again you found yourself admired of how much it did look like a Criminal Minds episode in there, if you weren't totally desperate you'd be amused. Soon, you two were out of the elevator on floor 8, leading with the words Behavior Analysis Unit quite big. 

“Can you take her to Agent Jareau, please?” the man said to someone who passed by, who simply agreed. 

Now, that's a funny coincidence, there's actually an Agent Jareau in the BAU. 

You followed the woman with questioning trying to stay calm when you saw Matthew Gray Gubler sitting on a desk reading some book in Reid style, almost like he was Spencer himself. If you had any doubts you were going crazy, that was the final proof. You stoped walking, taking a stare at him and then at the Agent that stared a you like you were an alien.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks you. “Miss, are you ok?”

You were unable to answer for a few seconds when you finally opened you mouth, still trying to figure it out how to say what was on your mind without sounding completely insane.

“Is that Dr. Spencer Reid?” 

And that was all you’re able to say because as soon as you let his name out of your mouth he looked up at you, trying to somehow recognize you. You were sure, that time, that you never looked - and sounded - as insane as right now. 

“Yes, that's me.” he answers. 

His voice was the last thing you could hear before everything go black. Maybe you were finally going to wake up. Maybe. 

[onlydylanobrien]

Coup De Main Magazine Interview: Dylan O'Brien on 'Love and Monsters'.

Dylan O'Brien really, really, really loves dogs. Fondly referring to his adorable co-star as "completely the star" of his new Oscar-nominated film, 'Love and Monsters, O'Brien's face lights up like a Christmas tree when reminiscing about the two Australian Kelpies, Hero and Dodge, who together portray his onscreen best friend, Boy (a.k.a. the best dog in the world).

At the heart of 'Love and Monsters' is this dynamic duo, with O'Brien as Joel Dawson, who in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by giant monsters decides to set off on a dangerous journey to reconnect with his high school sweetheart (played by Jessica Henwick), seven years after the Monsterpocalypse forced all of humanity into hiding underground.

An endearing tale of a wide-eyed boy and his loyal dog, we caught up with Dylan O'Brien to discuss 'Love and Monsters' which was filmed in Queensland, Australia...

COUP DE MAIN: Congrats on the Best Visual Effects Oscars nomination for 'Love and Monsters'! You're in the film, so for the purposes of this interview, I think you can own that.

DYLAN O'BRIEN: Thank you! Oh absolutely, I am nominated. I've been telling everybody: I'm an Oscar nominated actor now.

CDM: You did it!

DYLAN: Thanks! <laughs> It really is amazing.

CDM: It's funny that you filmed this movie back in March to May of 2019, but the whole situation of Joel finding himself separated from Aimee probably feels very familiar to anyone who started a relationship pre-pandemic that doesn't live with their partner.

DYLAN: Yeah, it's really weird. It's really weird how what we ended up going through when this movie was due to come out, how much it related to these themes that we're exploring in this movie. It's a very crazy coincidence.

CDM: Also, the sort of aversion to venturing out again into the outside world, that feels very relatable.

DYLAN: I know. Like when he first comes out of that hatch, he's breathing in the fresh air like it's strange. It's really strange.

CDM: I also thought of the current mask-wearing situation when Clyde says: "You can always tell in their eyes, just look at their eyes." People have had to do a lot of eye-reading this past year?

DYLAN: Right?! Oh, wow wow wow. I hadn't thought about that one.

CDM: One of my favourite things you've ever done is the 'Life Of A Hollywood Actor' video. What do you think the 2021 version of 'Life Of A Hollywood Actor' would look like?

DYLAN: <laughs> Thank you so much, first of all.

CDM: I rewatched it yesterday in preparation for this interview.

DYLAN: No way, thanks! That's really cool. Yeah, I love that character. I want to do something with him. What would the 2021 version be? I think he would definitely be taking the Oscar nom for himself, very seriously - like, the visual effects Oscar nom he would apply as being his, basically, and I think he'd try to bring that up and try to really ride that to get some work. He thinks this is gonna be a big career thing for him, and then he somehow fucks it up by being too overzealous.

CDM: Joel clings on to his memories of Aimee for seven years, replaying them in his mind so he can continue to relive them. Why is it that it's in human nature to mentally retreat into the past for comfort? And to look for a home in other people instead of building a solid home within ourselves?

DYLAN: That's really interesting... I feel like that's something instinctive, especially if you're going through a hard time or especially if something's shifted in your world negatively. I think there's uncertainty about the future and I always find in those situations a common link to wanting to find comfort in the past. I've gone through things, like times like that in my own life, and I've always found that when I've gone through a time like that, there's this level of uncertainty. I think it's human instinct and sort of this instinct to protect ourselves in a way. We're a wild species, aren't we? We're very emotional creatures. I think that's part of what makes humans so special. And instincts like that, to preserve and protect our heart and mind, and to hold on to things like that. And the way we're attached to memories like that and nostalgia. There's a reason these things are a part of our fabric. We're very emotional creatures.

CDM: Do you think that love or fear is a stronger emotion?

DYLAN: Whoah, that's pretty wild. I would say love - only because I feel like it has this sustainable power to endure over time. Whereas fears can be fleeting, and even if it comes quick, it's gone. But then also... yeah, I don't know. <laughs> We're getting deep. Real deep!

CDM: Is love an action or a feeling?

DYLAN: WHOAH. <cracks up>

CDM: I'm putting you on the spot, sorry.

DYLAN: No, no, I'm good! I love it! They're very interesting questions. I'm cracking up at you choosing me to answer these. Fuck. I mean, I think it's a feeling. I believe that, at least. I'm trying to think of ways it could be an action, obviously, but that's not love. I feel like if it's an action, it's something else. There are actions that come from love, but the love, it's a feeling. That's what I believe.

CDM: I always think about how in the TV show, 'Fleabag', The Priest says, "Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope," which I feel like Joel would also relate to.

DYLAN: Yeah! I love 'Fleabag'.

CDM: It's so good.

DYLAN: It's SO good.

CDM: Clyde says to Joel: "Good instincts are earned by making mistakes." Do you agree or disagree with Clyde's life lesson?

DYLAN: Yeah, I think there's a lot of truth to that, for sure. I think that mistakes absolutely help us grow, in many ways, in terms of instincts and stuff. Yeah, I think that's a wise and sensible perspective to have, especially in an apocalyptic wasteland.

CDM: Do you have any cooking specialities like Joel's talent for minestrone?

DYLAN: Yeah, I've got some go-to's. They're all my mom's, like the things that are nostalgic for me that I grew up with that my mom cooks, like her chicken soup. It's the first thing I do if I go on a job or somewhere where I'm going to be for a little while, just to feel like I'm at home, the first thing I'll do is I'll make a soup and then I'll have it in the fridge for the first week that I'm there. I'll make my mom's chicken soup and it's a really nice comforting sort of a feeling. And chicken cutlets. Two very chicken-y things!

CDM: There's a line I love from the TV show, 'The Good Place', in which one of the characters says: "Sometimes, when you're feeling helpless, the secret is to help someone else. Get out of your own head." I was reminded of it in the scene where Joel is forced to take action against a monster to help save not himself, but his dog. Excluding the life or death element, have you ever felt similarly that it's been easier to help someone else first in order to help yourself?

DYLAN: Yeah, sometimes to a fault. I think that that's something that's been a bit of a learning curve for me, interestingly enough, pretty recently as well in the last year or two, to sort of realise that I need to try to help myself sometimes a little more. I think I have an instinct to help the people that I love and want to be there for them, or even a stranger sometimes, over myself, which can definitely be an interesting quality, but yeah, I think that's helping yourself. Taking care of yourself is extremely important and I think that we all sort of go through our own path of learning the importance of that, and ultimately, too, if you want to be helping others and helping your loved ones, you actually need to be taking care of yourself, first and foremost. Everyone comes to their own kind of realisation over it. It takes time. It takes your 20s, sometimes more.

CDM: Do you miss your dog co-stars Hero and Dodge?

DYLAN: Yes! Yes!! I do. Yeah, I really, really do. And Zelie [Bullen] as well. Their mom and trainer.

CDM: Do you have a dog yourself?

DYLAN: I've got little dogs, yeah. I've got little babies. You?

CDM: I don't sadly, but it's my life goal to adopt a dog one day.

DYLAN: You should. Do you want one? You should get one!

CDM: I'm gonna just tell everyone: Dylan O'Brien told me to get a dog, so I'm getting a dog now.

DYLAN: <laughs> I'm just part of this major life decision for you, forever now.

CDM: Social media can be such a vanity project, but I love that you only have Twitter, and use it mostly just for helping give a platform to important human right issues and sharing your love for Taylor Swift and Harry Styles. What are your favourite Taylor Swift and Harry Styles songs?

DYLAN: Oh my goodness. Like ever? For Harry, from Harry's last album, 'Watermelon Sugar', obviously. I think my my favourite one of his though is... What's it called? I can hear it in my head. They sing it on 'American Idol' all the time.Falling'! That's a huge one for me. T Swift, I mean, it's amazing - give any of the rest of us like six months in quarantine and we look back on it and we're like, 'Shit, I should have done more,' but give Taylor six months in quarantine and she writes fifty hit songs. It's incredible. Off 'Folklore', I think 'Mirrorball' doesn't get enough credit. I'm a big 'Mirrorball' fan. I love 'My Tears Ricochet', and 'Mad Woman', 'Epiphany', 'The 1'.

CDM: Basically the whole album.

DYLAN: Yeah, I really liked that one. There's so many more, but those are my highlights.

CDM: You used to be in a band, Slow Kids At Play, right? Would you ever want to get back into music professionally again?

DYLAN: I still play all the time, and I still play with friends who play as well. Even those guys. They're all still my good friends. We actually had a reunion show in 2019 and it was really cool. We jammed in our friend's garage for our hometown friends. Music will always be a part of my life. I always try to not let it be one of those things that you lose in life. I think that's important to do. If it's not your primary thing, it's sometimes easy to. Often years pile up and then you're like, 'Oh, man, I haven't done this thing that I love in so long, like, I should build that into my routine.' So yeah, I'll always play drums and always jam with friends and play. And yeah, it'd be cool to be in a band again. Maybe someday. Or even just to play a show again, like even just to sit in for someone would be awesome.

CDM: Then maybe you can come to New Zealand on tour.

DYLAN: On tour?! I don't think I'd get to that level, but I like that you have aspirations for me.

CDM: Why is it important to you to use your platform for good?

DYLAN: I think that's influenced by the time that we're in. Also coinciding with a time that I went through in my life and just sort of getting older. And for me, it just feels right in terms of the things that I want to use it for, or try to support, or bring to life, or amplify, or bring a light to, and I guess it's influenced by my own learning and growing and trying to be more involved in this stuff and educate myself on it. It sort of just mirrors that a little bit, and I do think it's important.

CDM: Thank you for your time today. And thanks for telling me to get a dog.

DYLAN: Go do it! Send me a pic when you get them. It was such a pleasure talking to you, thanks so much.

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT THE HELL ITS HAPPENING????? AT THIS POINT I JUST THINK THEY JUST FORGOT TO COME OUT????? THEY ARE ACTING LIKE THAT AND BEING “WAIT WHY ARE PEOPLE FREAKING OUT SO MUCH”???? OH MY LITERAL GOD HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAP

y'all weren't kidding when you said you could feel something big was coming huh. sigh. hi! welcome to: the gang freaks out about misha's text in my inbox

instantly my first thought upon seeing misha’s text: “he sounds like that in the morning.”

they woke up together on the regular <3

GUNSHOTS WAKE UP DID YOU SEE MISHA’S TEXT??? he misses jensen so much :(((

yes :(( and me too :((

*adjusts tinhat* d-do you think misha originally took that photo to send to jensen? like a “hurry up and come in here, the pink blankey and i miss you.” ...

oh my god anon its too early for this i dont need to get emotional!!! on god i believe he texts him pics like this every day

have you seen misha's text yet??

no

girl wake up new cockles content

july is gonna be our month i can feel it!!!!!!!!

hi did anybody else get the fact that he never said that pic was while filming supernatural. like it was a little weird to not add 'in vancouver while filming [episode title]' My theory is that its a little joke because that pic is ACTUALLY in jensens apartment NOW when hes filming the boys from like a week ago. It seems like something he would do amen

oh my god i cant do 'cockles are living together rn' truthing today but you are very brave <3

ROSE ROSE ROSE ARE YOU AWAKE????? MISHA’S JENSEN TEXT!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I’M SCREAMING????? HELP!!! what 👏🏽 was 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 reason 👏🏽 misha ??? he really said i miss my march 1st baby OUTLOUD without really saying it outright i- MISHA WHATS UR @ SERIOUSLY!! - 🦋 anon

misha said happy pride to my husband and our perceivers and i thank him for that <3

Rose I hope you have a very nice sleep and are not suffering throughout this major cockles event in the middle of the night. ANYWAYS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY I CAN'T BREATHE 'SPARE ROOM' 'HIS BLANKY' SIR - anon anon

*looks into the camera* so anyways i woke up pretty much around the time you messaged me this and i am dead tired now

hehehe once again you've made the mistake of going to bed. I think imma stay up to see your reaction to the sleepover in a few hours ;) -🐢

hope i didnt dissapoint dsjhfsjfhsjhf

I’m just here to apologize that once again you were asleep when the fandom decided to start on fire <3

thank you darling i feel like i deserve some financiel compensation tbh

To all of the other anons who will undoubtedly be in gunshot's traditional freak out post with me (looking forward to all of y'alls reactions 😂), I really hope you've enjoyed this fantastic ending to pride month. Misha really chose to share that info wth us!! I haven't slept much this week because each night gets crazier. We're all thriving in this dumpster right now - 🐢

god bless we ARE all thriving!!!!

i cant deal with the Love You script dropping on the same day that misha posts both a t&s pride post and That Text. so misha is invested enough to know that the script dropped today in all likelihood. and. i. help. help. help.

🍭

yeah yeah yeah exactly nonnie exactly

my tumblr has been crazy, i haven't been able to send you asks until now 🥺 my posts are not showing in the tags...anyway tumblr staff already fix the problem with the asks so at least I can be loud in here.

crazy everything is just crazy! Misha's post, Misha's message, Goodbye Stranger script...all I'm missing is for Jensen to pull a heller!Jensen on main and i'm dead

Hope you have a beautiful day!!

-🐣

yeah tumblr fucked up and turned on my asks yesterday wtf, i hope your problem gets fixed soon!

and i hope you have the best day too!!!

we get to see misha today too i can't do this

oh god me neither

THEY WERE DOING LAUNDRY TOGETHER AFTER ALL

JDFHJSHFHSJ YEAH FUCKING HELLLL

this is just me speculating but is it a coincidence Misha is thinking about “lasts” especially the last night sleeping at Jensen’s, on the last day of pride????? *insert incredibles coincidence I think not gif*

its never a coincidence, everything this chaos machine does is on purpose

You woke up much earlier than expected! I legit thought that I had lost track of time scrolling through the madness that is the cockles tag right now. Sorry that you're going to be dragging for the rest of your day. Misha ensures that only he gets sleep when he pulls these stunts -🐢

lmao it was already light outside and i kept thinking about the misha text so i thought fuck it lets forget sleep, i need to cockles truth on main before i have to go to work <3

I’m sorry. I died. 🦚

me too!

*head in hands*, affectionate - tea anon

happy second month of pride everyone

cheers to that!!

had a thought: that one time the fan asked misha about them sharing clothes in 2018 and he joked, “it’s easy for our clothes to get mixed up, that’s all. whose is whose, you know, when you’re putting it on.” and “now everyone’s like ‘hmm, how’d the laundry get mixed up, guys?’” i hate him. i hate that it’s not implausible now. i hate.

how many times do i have to tell y'all that misha uses jokes to mask the truth <3 he was telling us the truth!

[suchalonelysunflower]

Merry Crisis (a.i)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin (ft.5SOS) X Fem!reader (Dad!Ash)

Summary: Shopping is always stressful, but when you have a baby on the way... it can become a chaos, especially when you have 3 crazy best friends with you.

Warnings: Language. Fluff and some crackhead moments. Reader uses she/her pronouns. Mentions of Birth. Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, sorry)

Word count: 4.5 k

Author’s note: Hello! This is my first Holiday fic with 5SOS and it’s Ashton’s turn to shine (even tho each boy gets their moment) This was so fun to write, I did it on my sociology class (so maybe it’s not that perfect) and I love it very much and I hope you do too! Reblogs, feedback and comments are always welcome and encouraged! Support your writers! ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋❤️

My materialist // wanna be on my tag list?

Twas the evening before Christmas, the streets were filled with Christmas lights and the chill air of Los Angeles made everything cozier as families gathered around the fireplace and enjoyed the most peaceful of times…

This statement does not apply to our favorite band, tho.

Our four Australians were not enjoying a cup of hot cocoa with their families as they were supposed to, oh no. They were doing the most dreadful thing a person could think of doing the night before dear Santa came to visit: They were Christmas shopping.

In their defense - or at least Calum’s, Michael’s and Luke’s defense, this was all Ashton’s fault for he was the one that dragged them to the crowded mall in the middle of one of the busiest days of the year. And, in Ashton’s defense, it was not his fault that the store had called him in the middle of a recording session to tell him that they finally had the only thing he wanted for Christmas: A music box.

He just had to get it before everyone else.

“Why did we come all over here for a little music box?” Asked Michael as they stood at the end of the line for the register. How could they only have one register open? It’s Christmas for fucks sake! but then again, it’s Christmas for fucks sake, so they know that people should be with their families instead of working a poorly paid job.

“It was the last one!” Ashton claimed, admiring the little circular box in his hand “It’s a limited edition and I just had to get it for Y/N and for the baby”

His eyes lit up when your name escaped his lips. Not even a year ago did he officially make you his wife, but now you were carrying his child! People might think it was rushed, but for Ashton it was the complete opposite. He had his life made when he met you, knowing that he will marry you as soon as he could… he had to wait a few more years to do that, but he was extremely happy, more so now that your little family was expanding. He loved you and your child with all his heart, and the boys all knew that so they can't even be mad about it, even if he kidnapped them to the mall with the promise of some cinnabuns later.

“She had one of these when she was little” Ashton continued as he admired the little hand painted details of the box “It always played a little lullaby to help her sleep. But it broke a few years ago and she always complained about not having one like this for her kids one day… But now she will!” The black haired man smiled.

“Shit, that’s actually pretty sweet” Michael commented “Okay, you’re forgiven”

“I don’t know if I want to hug you for being the perfect husband, or to kick you in the balls for being the perfect husband and making the rest of us feel bad” Luke chuckled.

The four boys laughed at the comment and started talking about their plans for the Holidays as they waited for the line to move. The problem was, it has been fifteen minutes and the line has only moved once.

“How long is this line anyway?” Calum said, peeking over the side, furrowing his eyebrows as he noticed at least thirty more people waiting in front of them “Shit, this is going to take a while. That man has at least twenty plushies and eleven race cars”

“I don’t know how people could leave this kind of stuff for the last minute” Ashton huffed, earning a death glare from each of his friends “This one is different, tho! It was the last one!”

“I’ll give you a hundred bucks for that!” Someone said behind Luke, making him jump at the sudden surprise.

“What the-” Luke said, placing a hand over his heart.

It was a short man in a trench coat who pointed to the music box in Ashton’s hand.

Ashton furrowed his eyebrows and said to the man “Uh, not a chance mate”

“Two hundred?”

“Nope”

“Five hundred?” The man would just not cave and Ashton was getting fed up with it, luckily Calum noticed and hurried to say something before his friend started a scene.

“Hey, mr. Devito wannabe. He said no, so just go bother someone else. Okay?”

The man scoffed and turned his face to the side, stating that he was offended. The four Australians rolled their eyes and turned their backs to him once again.

Another fifteen minutes passed and the line barely moved. The guys were not talking anymore, running out of things to say past the twenty minute mark. Each of them were bored out of their minds, well all but Ashton at least, he was still gleaming with pride as he looked at the music box and created scenarios in his head and thought about the joy that would be mirrored in your eyes once you open it tomorrow morning.

After a few more minutes of silence, Luke was the first one to break it “I think I’m just gonna get a coffee and wait in the car. These boots are killing me today” He looked at Ashton as if to ask permission, but the dark haired man just shrugged and nodded, asking him to buy one for him as well and to leave it in the car.

Michael then added “Yeah, I think I’m gonna go and check the electronics this store has. I think I saw a new camera that would be perfect for my streams”

And that only left Calum and Ashton waiting in line. But about five seconds later, Calum opened his mouth.

“Yes, you can go explore, too” Ashton said with a sigh before Calum even got a chance to ask.

“Cool” The curly man said, patting Ashton on the back before muttering a ‘I’ll be right back’ Leaving him alone with the music box.

Ashton didn’t mind. In fact, he kind of enjoyed this time alone. It gave him plenty of opportunities to imagine a new future for the both of you next to your little baby boy or girl. He catched a glimpse of families walking around the mall, buying gifts or eating a snack as they smiled at each other. He couldn’t wait for that to be his new normal.

He remembered the time when you told him you were pregnant. You gifted him a special baby bodysuit that said “My daddy is the best drummer in the world and there is nothing you can do about it” next to your positive pregnancy test. Ashton always wanted to start a family, especially if it was with you, but he never expected it to be so soon. Yet, once he held the test in his trembling hands, he knew that this was the best thing it could’ve happened to him. He remembers how tearful he got the second his brain processes the information, quickly running up to you and pressing an earth shattering kiss to your lips, promising you and your baby that he would be the best father in the world.

And, as he held the little object in his hand, he already thought he was doing a pretty good job. He smiled to himself and thought about calling you. Not only did he want to hear your voice at this moment, but also because he wanted to check up on you. You were having tea with your best friend at the moment, but the pregnancy hormones were hitting pretty hard lately and he wanted to make sure you were doing alright.

But as soon as he got his phone out of his pocket, your name started glowing on the screen.

“Baby! I was just about to call you” Ashton said with a smile, loving this little coincidence.

“Ashton, is coming!” You said in an alarming tone. Ashton, however, did not understand what you meant.

“Yeah? I’m coming home soon, why are-?”

“No!” You cut him off “The baby, Ash! The baby is coming!”

Ashton laughed “Ha, ha very funny Y/N. But the baby isn’t due until three weeks from now”

“ASHTON FLETCHER IRWIN” You yelled through the phone, making Ashton pull away from the phone for a second “MY WATER BROKE AND THE BABY IS COMING NOW. SO GET YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL BEFORE I-” A sharp pain ran through you as you were experiencing the contractions. Ashton could hear your distant groan and immediately went pale.

The baby was coming and he wasn’t ready.

“Ash, hello?” Your friend’s calm voice came from the other end “I’m gonna take Y/N to the hospital right now. I need you to meet us there, okay?”

“Fuck, okay. I’m on my way” He rushed to say before he ended the call.

“Hey, dude. What’s going-?” Michael said as he approached the black haired man who looked like he might throw up.

“The baby’s coming!” He said, trying to concentrate on his breathing before he hyperventilates.

“What?!”

“Hey, Mike, is everything-?” Calum came next, worried about his friends’ weird behavior.

“THE BABY IS COMING”

Michael.

The guitarist started wandering the electronics and new technologies hall. He was secretly glad he got away from waiting in line for what it looked like another hour, but at the same time he was glad he decided to accompany Ashton in his little quest.

The moment he knew you were pregnant he set himself to be the best uncle that little kid will have. He already knew that you and Ashton were going to be great parents, with the way in which you love each other it was hard to think otherwise. Michael was always up for anything you guys wanted to do for each other, from secret dates or help you sneak out after a concert, or even to plan gifts! He always took pride to know that he was part of your epic love story, even if it was with just a little favor.

Michael stepped into the videogame aisle like he usually does, but this time he went directly to the kid’s section, knowing that eventually your baby will want to play videogames with uncle Mikey and he will have to be ready with the most family friendly games he could find.

He started grabbing a few of them and reading the little summaries they had on the back, eventually deciding that he did not understand anything about children’s games and that he might have to ask around in order to find the best ones.

He went back to the electronics aisle and something caught his attention.

“Is that a real megaphone?” He asked one of the workers there “I haven’t seen one since 2014” He said, remembering the last time the boys ever let him play with one of those in the Good Girls video.

“Yeah! It’s the new model” Said the teenage boy that was in charge of that seccion that day “Wanna try it out?”

“Before that, can I go and show it to my mates? I won’t be gone for long, they are just down the checkout line”

“Sure!” The young man smiled and gave him the megaphone.

Michael had a big smile on his face as he started walking towards Ashton to show him what he found. But his smile dropped the minute he saw Ashton’s face grew a thousand times paler.

He carefully walked up to him and asked “Hey, dude. What 's going-?”

“The baby’s coming!” Ashton said, trying to catch his breath.

“What?!”

Calum.

He hated the mall. He really did. There were always too many people, too much noise and the prices were always exaggerated. But he knew that he was here today for a good cause. Calum was not going to let his best mate down.

Ever since you came into Ashton’s life - and the boys’ life for that matter - he could tell that you were special. Not only because of the way Ashton talked about you all the damn time, but because of your energy, your passion, your kindness and obviously your undenying love for the drummer.

Calum was always the protective friend, always keeping his guard up for any new companion they boys might have. But with you it was different. The first time you two met was the day you instantly became best friends. He knew he could trust you to keep Ashton’s heart safe, and he knew that if Ashton ever broke your heart that he was going to have to kick his ass for being that stupid. Luckily, he wasn’t.

He was the first person (after Ashton, of course) to know about your pregnancy. He swore to himself that he would not let anything happen to his future godson/goddaughter. That baby was going to be the perfect mixture of his best friends, there was nothing in the world that could stop him from loving them just as much as he loves all of you. He even got them toys so they could play with Duke when they’re older! Needless to say that he was very, very excited.

As he wandered through the halls of the store he noticed a commotion next to the toys section.

A line of kids accompanied by their parents awaited in front of a huge chair decorated with fake snow and candy canes. Santa Claus was going to be there.

“Oh my god” A female voice said behind him “You are Calum Hood!”

Calum turned around and was faced with a young girl dressed as an elf looking at him like he hung the moon or something.

“That I am” He said with a smile “Hello, nice to meet you!”

“M-my name’s Lizza” The girl blushed “I’m a huge fan! Is it okay if- I mean, could I get a picture? Please?”

Calum smiled “Sure!”

Lizza squealed “Omg, okay. But, can we do it over there? The kids aren’t supposed to see me yet” She said, pointing to a corner with a curtain and some costumes, presumably Santa’s and his elves'.

Calum nodded and followed the girl, catching a glimpse of the Santa Claus outfit “Do you think I can wear that for the picture?” He asked. Honestly, he just wanted to know how it would feel like to dress up as Santa, knowing he would one day have to do it for your child.

“Of course!” The girl said, taking her phone from her purse and giving it to another elf so he could take the picture.

Once the picture was done, he started to strip off the big red coat, the white beard and the hat when suddenly he had an idea “Is it okay if I borrow this for a while? Maybe five minutes? I wanna prank some friends that are at the check out”

“Uhh”

“I’ll give it back, I promise,” He said with a smile.

Lizza sighed “Sure! We have another one for emergencies”

“Cool, thanks Lizza”

Calum walked away with the fake beard, the warm coat and the hat, feeling cheeky as he approached the line.

“What?!” He heard Michael yell. And although Michael always yells, this one seemed important as his voice sounded concerned.

“Hey, Mike, is everything-?” Calum said, approaching his friends with a very confused face. But before he could even finish the question, Ashton looked at him with fear in his eyes.

“THE BABY IS COMING”

Ashton.

This was not good. Not good at all. His wife is at the hospital about to give birth and he is still in the line of the fucking mall.

“Oh shit!” Calum said, looking frantically over the line that was still too long “OH SHIT”

“Okay calm dow- Is that a Santa costume?” Michael asked.

“Calm down?!” Calum said, panicking “My best friend is having a baby and you tell me to CALM DOWN?!”

“I’m having a baby…” Ashton said in a whisper, not really paying attention to what was going on around him “I’m having a baby”

“Not you!” Said Calum “Well... also you but I meant Y/N! She’s the one pushing it mate” But Ashton did not listen.

His whole world paused in that moment. Too many thoughts were running through his head as he tried to formulate a plan, any plan that would get him the quickest to you.

He thought he was doing a good job, he thought that he was going to be the best dad ever and now he was going to miss the birth of his first child because the line wasn’t fucking moving.

“Ash?” Michael called, but he wasn’t listening.

How could he screw this up so early in the game? Your baby wasn’t even born yet but he swore he could already feel their disappointment.

“Ash..”

And you! How could you ever forgive him?! You will surely file for divorce once the baby is born.

“Ashton!”

“What?!” He yelled, looking at Michael who was shaking him by the shoulders.

“Fucking breathe man! You almost turn purple there”

Michael started breathing at an even pace, motioning Ashton to breathe with him and so he did “It’s going to be okay, don’t worry about it”

“How can you say that?!” Ashton almost cried “I’m not even a dad yet and I’m already screwing up! Who doesn’t show up to the birth of his child?”

Michael rolled his eyes, knowing his friend was just talking out of fear than out of reason, and shook him by the shoulders again “Listen to me, you are already a great dad! You were a dad even before Y/N got pregnant and you are not going to miss the birth of my nephew or niece. I won’t allow it. But first I need you to calm the fuck down!”

Ashton looked at Michael and swallowed the lump in his throat “What if I’m not ready? What if we’re not ready?”

Michael chuckled “You asked me the same question when you were about to walk down the aisle a year ago. You were ready even before you knew you were and this is not different”

But before Ashton could say something, Calum walked up to them again.

“There are fourteen people ahead of us” Said Calum, who had just run up to the start of the line “If we asked them to move, we might get there in time”

“Or maybe you could leave the music box to me…” The man with the weird vibe intervened.

“Fuck off DeVito!” The three Australians yelled.

Suddenly, a lightbulb got turned on on Michael’s head “I got an idea!”

A panicked Calum dressed as Santa and a very panicked Ashton watched as Michael ran out of the store for a second, only to come back pushing a Target cart “Get in!” He said jumping in the cart and motioning to Ashton to follow him.

Ashton jumped inside without asking any questions, not even when Calum started pushing the car or when Michael turned on his… was that a megaphone?!

“Attention ladies and gentlemen” Michael said through the megaphone, making every single person turn their heads towards them, as if two large Australians standing inside of a shopping cart being pushed by a very tattooed Santa Claus wasn’t stiking enough “We have a man that’s going to become a father at any moment now while his wife is in the hospital! Please let us through!”

Ashton does not know if it was the weird scene they caused, his desperate face or Christmas magic that made everyone on the line take a step back as Calum pushed them through the checkout.

Once they got there, the cashier took his money, too shocked to say anything else as Ashton yelled “Keep the change!” As they rushed through the doors and towards the parking lot with Calum pushing the cart at a great speed with all of his energy as all the other customers looked at them and wondered what the hell was going on.

“Mommy?” A confused random kid asked “Why was Santa pushing those men on the cart?”

Luke.

His favorite Christmas playlist was playing in the car. He loved the holidays, but he hated Christmas shopping with his life. So he was very thankful that Ashton could understand this and let him wait in the car.

As he hummed through the song “His Favorite Christmas Story” he thought about the gift he got to your little unborn baby. As soon as he found out you were pregnant, he knew he had to spoil that kid rotten. Well, not that he knew he had to, but he wanted to. You and Ashton were the best people he has ever met, and he knew your little baby was not going to be different, so what’s wrong with giving that child the world they deserve?

A few months ago he talked to a friend of his that made customized presents made of crochet, so he asked if they could make a baby mobile to put over the crib. He also made sure to ask that the animals that were to adorn the mobile were your’s and Ashton’s favorites, and also throwing a little kangaroo in honor of their father’s homeland and a little penguin in honor of their future favorite uncle.

He smiled to himself as he thought he couldn’t wait to meet the little pal and how he couldn’t wait to start a family of his own. But his daydreaming got cut short when he heard a commotion coming from the mall’s doors.

Sirens were ringing and a lot of people stood and watched at whatever was causing the disturbance. He even had to take a double look because he thought he just saw Calum dressed as Santa Claus pushing a shopping cart with Ashton and Michael inside, the latter speaking with a megaphone in his hand. And indeed that is what he saw.

“LUKE START THE CAR” Michael yelled from his megaphone. And Luke, being the smart man that he is, did not ask questions as he did just that.

Soon enough, Calum Santa Claus was jumping inside of the car, followed by Michael and Ashton, who just sat in the front seat.

“What is-?” Luke tried to ask, but his three friends were quicker as they all said at the same time:

“The baby is coming!” “We needed to get the music box” “The line was too fucking long”

“Hurry up, dude!” Calum said, giving Luke a pat on his shoulder as he stared at them, very confused.

“Why didn’t you just leave the music box with one of them?” He said, motioning to his friends in the back “I could’ve come back for them after I dropped you off…”

The three Australians all looked at eachother like they were the most stupid people on the planet. Until Micahel turned on the megaphone again and said with a defeated voice: “Just drive”

The ride to the hospital was silent as Luke drove through the streets of LA at full speed. Michael even turned on the siren of the megaphone to make way across the traffic jam. How the hell they didn’t end up in jail? A Christmas miracle if you ask me.

Once they got there, Ashton was the first one to jump off the car, followed by his best friends as they ran through the hospital’s floors.

“Irwin!” He said, once they got to the maternity wing “Y/N Irwin! My Wife-”

Luke followed, almost knocking down Ashton as his boots slipped on the floor “His wife!” He said, almost out of breath.

“His baby!” Calum added, almost falling to the floor as he tripped over his foot.

And last but not least came a small “Help?” From Michael who was completely out of breath as he sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room.

The nurse, apparently not taken aback at the sudden outburst of three grown man and a Santa Claus in her waiting room, just smiled at Ashton and said: “Over here, Mr. Irwin. You are just in time, she just started dilating…”

But Ashton didn’t hear much as he walked behind her, anxious to see you and see your baby. Breathing heavily as he tried to calm his nerves before he got to your room. He gave one last look to his friends and smiled at them.

“You can do it man!” Michael said, giving him the thumbs up.

“You go Poppa!” Luke cheered.

“We will be here!” Calum said, feeling tears of pride gather up in his eyes as he watched Ashton turn into another hallway, ready to become the dad he always knew he could be.

“Did you actually steal a Santa costume?” Michael said as the other two sat down next to him.

“And you stole a cart and a megaphone so shut up”

A new family.

You watched with tired eyes as your husband held your baby girl in his arms.

“She is so tiny…” He said with fresh happy tears falling rolling down his cheeks. Ashton started crying as soon as he saw her little face and heard his heart shattering cry.

You almost thought that he wasn’t going to make it in time, afraid that you were going to have to get through the birth of your child all alone. But he came through the doors just in time and he did not let go of your hand for a second, even when you knew you were crushing it as you pushed.

“I love you so much” He said, just as he’s been saying for the past hours since he got here “I love you so much and I love her so much I- Thank you”

“Why are you thanking me, love?”

“For giving me the best gift of all” Ashton said as he laid next to you with your daughter curled up on his chest “You gave me the family I always dreamed of. I could never thank you enough for it”

He slowly lowered his head and pressed his lips to yours, showing you all the love that he could in only one simple kiss.

“Well, it’s not like you didn’t help on making this, you know?” You teased, making him chuckle “I should be thanking you, Ash.You and her are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I love you”

“I love you” He said, capturing your lips in another kiss as you let the music box play in the background, filling the room with the notes of your favorite lullaby.

“Should I let the boys in?” He asked as he passed your daughter back to you. You just nodded, not wanting to let your friends wait a second longer to meet your baby. “Oh, and just a heads up, Calum is dressed as Santa Claus and we might never be allowed on the mall again”

You laughed “I can’t wait to hear that story”

Ashton smiled as he got out of the room and walked towards where the boys were sitting. Once they saw him walk up to them, they immediately got up, all of them smiling proudly at the new - official, father of the band.

“Boys, come and meet our baby girl: Jane Elizabeth Irwin”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

[butwhatifidothis]

3H and Bleach: Where the Fuck am I

So, I’m finally hunkering down and trying to write out this post lmao. I’ve mentioned here and there how my personal experience with the 3H’s fandom is similar to my experience with the Bleach fandom’s in more than one way, and - look. Like, I get there’s definitely a semi-universal thing that goes on across all fandoms. I don’t mean for this to say that this only happens within these two fandoms, because duh, of course they don’t. But!! This post is partly me wanting to air years long annoyance towards the Bleach fandom that just so happens to coincide with my feelings towards the 3H fandom, sooo... yeah lmao

I’ll probably be skimming over some bits about 3H, since most people who come across this will already be familiar with what I’d be talking about in that regard vs Bleach, so just a heads up

Note: This is gonna talk about Bleach which will spoiler territory (writing this off the cuff so not sure where this is goin’ yet lmao but I know that much), so if you don’t wanna see that then don’t read this post lol, I know for sure I’ll be spoiling something ahhhh... noticeable, lol

Ableism against the mentally ill

Now, most people reading this post will be familiar with the blog and how this very, very much applies to 3H, but for the sake of this post I’ll lay it out anyway with a brief summary

Dimitri and Rhea are both characters within 3H that suffer from severe trauma that heavily impacts their mental state. Both are the sole survivors of a horrific slaughter, with that slaughter redefining who they are and leaving a permanent marker within their minds in some way (Dimitri with having auditory and visual hallucinations, Rhea with having obsessive tendencies towards bringing her mother back from the dead). Specifically in CF, both characters are set up in the plot as antagonists, with both characters having to relive their trauma in some way due to the actions Byleth and Edelgard take against them (for Dimitri, having his home be razed to the ground and everyone he cares for dying around him, for Rhea having someone use her mother’s mutilated remains be used to end her and her race) and express extreme anger towards Byleth and Edelgard before they are killed to progress/end the story

Now, uh, sad shit right? Not exactly fuckin’ happy sunshine rainbows. These two characters are put through the wringer and are then murdered. They are rightfully not the fuckin’ happiest because of what happened to them before and what happens to them within the present story. But we’ve heard it all before: “They were crazy!” “They couldn’t be reasoned with!” “They had to be put down out of mercy because they were too ~far gone~ to live happily!” “They needed to be killed for the good of everyone!” It’s an extremely ableist rhetoric that gets passed around the fandom as though it’s totally fine to directly state that mentally ill people should be put down if they’re deemed a “lost cause.” Especially worrying because. You know. If they are a “”””lost cause”””” then it’s directly and specifically because of actions Byleth and Edelgard take against them. 

But how does this remind me of Bleach? What kind of similar extreme, worrying ableism exists there? Well, let me introduce to best girl a certain character with... a reputation, to say the least:

Meet Momo Hinamori.

Holy shit it’s so weird writing this out because I’ve been wanting to for years but have never worked up the nerve to do it lol

It should be noted, in the Bleach verse there’s two worlds out of three - Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, though I’ll only be talking of the former - that deal with “souls” (the essence within a living human). Souls age far more slowly than human bodies do in terms of body, not necessarily the mind (so a teenage soul will likely behave as such for a long while) so keep in mind that I’m going to be using numbers that may seem weird to someone who hasn’t seen Bleach lol.  With that out of the way, here’s a similar, if longer for context to those who haven’t seen Bleach, summary for Momo’s character as it relevant to this post:

Momo is a character in Bleach that grows a deep admiration towards Sosuke Aizen, a respected captain of the military force called the Gotei 13. She comes to views him as the most important person in her world due to him both noticing and paying direct attention to her as well as saving her and her friends’ lives during a training mission gone wrong while she was younger. Note that “younger” here means 40 years ago from the start of the story. Aizen would praise her all the time, allow her to sleep over in his quarters, would drape his cloaks over her when she looked cold, and would overall treat Momo as though he was his daughter for most of the time we see them interact in the beginning portions of the show. Note that none of this is sexual in nature, nor is it ever implied to be seen as such. That’ll be important later in this post

To make a long story short, Aizen comes to betray her. He stabs her through the chest and shows and tells her that she never meant anything to him, throughout the 40 years they’ve known each other (which, mind, for a soul Momo’s approximate age 40 years is still a noticeable amount of time), and he was only using her to help bolster his image as a loveable captain so that he can hide his plan from everybody that much easier. He did horrible things to Momo - from setting her alarm clock back to a later time so that she would more likely come across his pinned, bloody fake corpse. to framing her childhood friend for the apparent murder and tricking her into fighting that friend, to far later in the series tricking that friend into stabbing her (hypnosis shit, to sum that up) for literally no stated reason - that ended up mentally breaking her. She couldn’t believe that the last four decades were all nothing but lies and she fell into a deep denial about Aizen’s true nature - someone else made him do everything he did, she must have missed something that would have warned her about Captain Aizen’s unfortunate situation that forced Captain Aizen to hurt her and everyone else. This denial would take the majority of Bleach’s entire runtime for her to get over completely, with her having hiccups in her recovery even as she works up the nerve to fight him.

Now, uh, also not the fuckin’ funnest of times to be had here. The deep, long-running mental and psychological manipulation of what approximates as a teenage girl from a trusted older figure is something that is very clearly horrific and bad of the older figure, right? Like, we’re on the same page here on that?

This wouldn’t be in this post if that was the case. No, Momo was the one constantly on fire for what happened to her. She was one of the most hated characters in the western audience, and there were endless jokes about “lol look at Momo, the pincushion!” “Crazy bitch Momo, better watch out!” making fun of her and her trauma relentlessly. If you managed to find a Momo fan in the early 2000′s you should have also bought a lotto ticket because holy fuck, everyone hated her. She acted in a startlingly real if deeply uncomfortable way in regards to years long manipulation and she was lambasted for it. She didn’t immediately get over decades long psychological abuse and she was called useless, weak, a horrible representation of female characters, stupid - you name it, she was likely called it. To this day I still tense up when I hear that someone likes Bleach and they mention Momo at all because I’m always thinking “does this person think this abuse victim is dumb for being abused?”

Dimitri, Rhea, and Momo are all victim-blamed to a disgusting degree in the 3H and Bleach fandoms. Dimitri and Rhea are always hit with “well if Dimitri hadn’t have fought back against Edelgard/Rhea caused the “”tyranical systems” in the first place, nothing would have happened to them!” and Momo was constantly hit with” well, it’s not Aizen’s fault Momo was so clingy to him, what could he have done!” and I get so fuckin’ mad dude.

But for Dimitri and Momo specifically, there’s one thing in particular that caught my attention:

The “Rejection Theories”

This had my head spinnin’ a bit when I first heard it, cuz I had managed to avoid the theory for a while in the 3H’s fandom, but apparently a sizeable amount of people seem to believe that Dimitri wasn’t just mad at Edelgard in the Holy Tomb because of... you know *waves hand* fuckin’ everything, but that the primary reason for his anger was that Edelgard... rejected his advances to her? And that the dagger he gave to her when they were 13 was a phallic symbol of baby Mitri’s want to have sex with Edelgard? And. Like. What in the fuck are you talking about. 

But like?? Bleach did this shit too with Momo?? It was also a sizeable amount of people - not everyone, but a noticeable amount - that believed that Momo was just mad that Aizen wouldn’t sleep with her? You’d see it pop up in fics so often, that Momo would want Aizen to fuck her and she’d “go crazy” when he denied her and Momo was actually just this shallow bitch who wanted a good fuck like... what.

Like, when I first heard the Phallic Dagger take the first thing that came to mind is “wait Momo was also accused of just wanting to have sex with the person who traumatized her wtf” 

“Actually it was the perpetrators that should be forgiven because lonely and also some shit about ruling better”

Those in the 3H fandom know how often the “Edelgard was lonely!” line gets thrown by just about every one of her stans. Edelgard was lonely and couldn’t trust anyone, so of course she did what she did! If she had someone near her she could trust she wouldn’t have acted like she does in the rest of the game! Nevermind that she “gets” this in CF in the form of Byleth and still acts just as shittily as she does in the other routes, or how being a little lonely doesn’t fuckin’ mean you get to start war. But anyway, we also hear that Edelgard was justified in doing what she did because her ruling Fodlan would have lead to more peace in the end, once she got rid of the power structures in place now (except that doesn’t happen but whatev I guess lmao)

Aizen? He was lonely too! He was far too strong for anyone to truly be able to understand him, and so he tragically fell down a dark path. If he had known someone who could be considered an equal to him he would have never done all the horrible things he did. And the Soul Society is unjust! It needs to be reformed! So him slaughtering hundreds of thousands of souls at the minimum to harvest all of their power to use as his own is justified because it’ll be used to create a more just society under his rule!

Like. Y’all. Lowkey? I’m so fuckin’ glad Edelgard proved herself to be just as fuckin’ awful with Byleth as without because this shit drove me up the fuckin’ wall back in the day. There was 0 ways to prove that Aizen would damn sure be just as fuckin’ bad if he had an “”equal”” to stand by him than if he didn’t, and I get to kinda be right because without fundamentally changing these characters’ backstories they would not give two flying shits about whether or not they had someone “equal to them” (which is still kinda degrading to think about anyway).

Now, this is where I move away to a different topic lol

A split in the narrative cause divides in the fandom

With 3H houses this is really fuckin’ easy to point at: there’s 4 routes, three consistent stories and one radically different story, and that difference in story causes heavy contention within the fandom. It’s very obvious so I won’t go over it much.

But how in the fuck is there a divide in Bleach? It’s not a fuckin’ Choose Your Own Adventure manga, it’s an anime and manga showing off the characters of Bleach’s stories and interactions (with, you know, plot and shit thrown in).

Well. It’s more accurate to say the anime told a story about the characters, and the manga told... the story about the characters.

In terms of plot, the anime didn’t change much from the manga, but hoo fuckin’ boy, did they change shit about some of the characters. Specifically, they changed a shit ton about three characters: the two main protagonists, Ichigo and Rukia, and another main character, Orihime.

Orihime. Got. Fucked.

The anime would make her far more ditzy and clumsy, her crush (turned growing love later on in the story) for Ichigo during more deeper moments that showcases her feelings for him were downplayed if not removed entirely in exchange for talking or thinking about food, key moments she has with Ichigo early in the manga were cut or deadass changed to something else in the anime, some key moments with her relationship with Rukia were cut, her backstory was watered down - so much of Orihime was fucked with in the anime (her fuckin’ introduction was changed drastically). Meanwhile Ichigo and Rukia were given moments that didn’t exist in the manga, they have filler arcs (remember those lmao) that would be stuffed with shit ton of moments for them that have no basis in the manga, other characters would change their behavior from the manga to reflect a sort of “thing” going on between Ichigo and Rukia.

Look, guys, the anime fucked up so bad the fucking mangaka, Tite Kubo, has said he gets stomach aches watching the early anime because it was that awful. And this divide between the anime and manga’s portrayal of these three character helped spawn the ship war of Bleach: Ichiruki vs Ichihime (oh but more on that in a bit). It tanked Orihime’s popularity because people thought she was the stupid dumbass that would stumble ass first into situations when that wasn’t her character at all. And because the majority of anime watchers only watch the anime... yeah, you can see where this went. So just like in 3H in Bleach you have these radically different tellings of the same characters that drove a big-ass wedge in the fandom

Marketing

Imma be transparent, like I’ve said before I managed to avoid nearly every marketing tactic for 3H so it’s a tad hard for me to speak personally, but from what I’ve been told Edelgard was heavily marketed towards the player base pre-release. She was the poster child of 3H, she got the figma, she was in the spotlight - unless you cleansed your board of 3H content you knew exactly who she was. On top of that, it doesn’t stop in-game - loading screen messages would assume you picked BE, Adrestia is the first option to pick when you want to impress one of the lords in the prologue, the BE class is the first option to pick in choosing which route to play, every character has some moment in the game post ts where they express sympathy with the woman who waged war on them for five years (even characters with no business doing so, like Seteth entertaining the idea that maybe Edelgard isn’t that bad during Myrddin). With all of that good PR for Edelgard in and out of the game it heavily impacted how people saw her, and much of it is used by stans to justify her being a good guy (mostly in the game marketing) despite everything else in the game clearly showing that Edelgard is the bad guy

With Bleach in that regard... you have Ichiruki

holy shit it’s so weird talking about Ichiruki i’m still lowkey nervous about talking about them lmao

With Ichiruki stans, they would cling onto outside material that promoted Ichigo and Rukia together as proof that their ship was going to be canon. Spreadsheets, calendars, poems (some of which didn’t even apply to Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship but they insisted they did anyway), novels - outside material that either wasn’t canon or didn’t pertain to Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship. They would shove it in the face of Ichihime shippers that “see, we have all this stuff for us! We ain’t starving tonight!” when the canon (note: in the manga particularly) would clearly show Ichigo and Orihime’s relationship being the one that leans romantic in multiple significant ways. They would latch onto irrelevant shit that ain’t had nothin’ to do with anything and wave around as a paragon of romance when it literally wasn’t even canon

Just fuckin’ ignoring the creators deadass

Creators and developers of 3H: Edelgard is the typical Red Emperor the only difference is Girl

Stans: that’s just a headcanon

Kubo: Ichigo and Rukia have a platonic relationship and I’ve publicly said this since 2008

Stans, now, to this day: Ichigo and Rukia were robbed

Making people reject what they’re stanning for

I’ve seen a few people express that the more they interact with the fandom and see what her stans are doing, the more they grow to dislike Edelgard despite (some) initially liking or even loving her. To put it simply, the same thing happened with Ichiruki - hell, this happened with me with Ichiruki. I can’t fuckin’ stand the ship anymore because every time I think about it I’m reminded of the absolutely rancid, disgusting things Ichiruki stans have to done to others in the fandom, and even after nearly five years after Bleach has ended I still tense up when someone says they like Ichiruki over Ichihime precisely because of the behavior of the stans, just like I side-eye people who say Edelgard is the best lord. Do they like them because they simply prefer them over the other(s) and they’re not totally fuckin’ bonkers, or are they totally fuckin’ bonkers. 

And, like, that’s not fair! I know that! But I can’t help but think that when such a loud amount of people act in such deplorable ways just because someone didn’t like a bunch of lines on paper/pixels on a screen.

To all the nice Ichiruki and Edelgard fans, hope y’all are havin’ a nice day.

Long, crazy ass explanations as to why X =/= X (and if anything actually means Y)

Teacher theory for 3H. How Edelgard totally didn’t hire Kostas to kill Dimitri and Claude and was only thwarted because Claude booked it, but how she definitely actually meant to simply scare away the teacher that was with them so that Jeritza could be pulled from his already existing position in Garreg Mach to teach one class so that Edelgard can kinda keep a sorta closer eye on exactly one of the other classes (and just do shit all about the other one I guess), because Jertiza’d be able to gleam so much from teaching a class for a few hours a day I promise 

But for Bleach, you also have one particularly infamous theory positing shit that don’t real, with enough renown to be known by a specific name, and that’s the Lust Arc = Fail essay

To explain what the essay is about, I have to set the scene up a bit. Imagine, you, with your tiny little monkey brain, are watching Bleach, and you get to the part where Main Boyo is fighting against Villain to save Girly. Other Guy is there too - this is important. Main Boyo tries his hardest to fight Villain, but is ultimately shot through the fucking chest with a laser from Villain and dies. Like, for bit actually dies. Girly breaks down, has a straight up mental breakdown because she always “knew” that Main Boyo could do anything, and now he’s been killed and is dead in front of her. She screams out Main Boyo’s name, hysterically begging him to save her and protect her because holy shit the love of her life has been brutally murdered in front of her what the fuck. But Main Boyo, from literally beyond the line of death, hears her pleas and snaps back to life as a monster, with the sentence “I MUST PROTECT” repeatedly running through his head and being the only sentence he ever says while in this form, with him fucking destroying Villain and even going so far as to directly hurt Other Guy when Other Guy tries to stop Main Boyo from utterly stomping on Villain. Girly is the only person Main Boyo does not directly hurt, and when Villain is damn sure gonna fuckin’ kick the bucket that is when Main Boyo reverts back human. Everyone is more than a little shocked at what happened, but it’s clear from how relieved Girly is when Main Boyo comes back safe and sound that while this event fundamentally will change their relationship (and it does), it is still one that is extremely strong and they won’t let it get between them (and they don’t).

Now, when looking at the summary, you, with your absolutely miniscule peanut of a brain, might come away thinking, “Hm, Main Boyo might kinda care for Girly given that he literally rose from the dead to protect her and only her and went back to normal once she was safe” and you poor fool would be oh so wrong, because actually, this is all proof that Mian Boyo doesn’t care for Girly and that Villain actually cared more for Girly than Main Boyo ever could.

Without diving too deeply into the absolute lunacy of the Lust Arc = Fail essay, that was its main premise. That Ichigo, after rising from the literal dead directly after Orihime begged and pleaded that he protect and save her and then going on to protect and save specifically her (as Uryu - Other Guy - is also a friend of Ichigo’s and got his fucking arm cut off by Monster!Ichigo), is proof against Ichihime being romantic in any way and was not, in fact, a fuckin’ giant neon flashing sign that read THESE TWO ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER. It was the dumbest shit ever, but Ichiruki stans, much like Edelstans with Teacher Theory, clung to it like white on rice. It didn’t matter how much it was utterly debunked, it didn’t matter how the base premise was stupid as fuck, they point to it as the pinnacle of meta for their respective fandoms in their respective spaces.

And all of this leads me to um... the one I’m kinda the most worried about?

Stan Behavior

Edelstans are their own unique brand of awful in that that the shit they spew is particularly... worrying (”genocide isn’t bad if they aren’t human and also they kinda deserved it” “imperialism isn’t that bad really” the mentally ill should be put down if they’re deemed ~too far gone~” among other... wonderful takes...), and their behavior is also quite shitty, harassing content creators that go against the Approved Opinions (Ghast) or forcing people to take down fanart and in general infecting nearly every Rhea space with all kinds of disparaging comments no one asked for. They actively make the fandom a worse space, and when they flare up it’s almost always noticeable (again, Ghast)

Bleach?

Oh boy.

Guys. If you weren’t there for the Canonization of Ichihime (2016). You dodged a fucking bullet.

The outrage was out-fuckin’-rageous. Their behavior was some of the worst reactions anyone has ever seen come from the canonization of a ship in a shounen. This includes, but is not limited to:

Someone tearing apart all 70+ volumes of Bleach and burning it in their bathroom

In fact, multiple people tearing up Bleach and burning it, while keeping the Ichiruki moments and taping it to their walls

A Rukia cosplayer, in Rukia cosplay, printing out the final color spread of the end-game couples and their friends lounging about - with colored ink and all - and burning it, while filming herself doing so

Ichiruki porn being sent to Tite Kubo

Tite Kubo being accused of grooming a 15 Orihime cosplayer with no proof

Tite Kubo being accused of lying about his various health issues

Ichigo and Rukia being drawn cheating on their spouses with each other - and some of that also being sent to Tite Kubo

Tite Kubo being chased off Twitter by Ichiruki stans... again

Ichihime shippers getting sent death threats

Ichihime shippers getting called delusional for thinking their ship had a chance before the endgame couples were revealed, and then being called delusional for thinking their ship had any real basis and wasn’t pulled “out of nowhere”

Tite Kubo being accused of hating women because of Orihime being shown in an apron in the last chapter and Ichiruki stans jumping to the conclusion she became a housewife, and then Tite Kubo being accused of hating women because when it was revealed that Orihime has a job in a bakery to pay for college later they insisted what Kubo should have done was have Uryu, who’s a doctor at that point, pay for Orihime’s college instead of having Orihime pay for it with her own money 

And mind you, this is only the stuff I’ve personally seen and experienced

I am hoping and praying that Edelstans never get as bad as Ichiruki stans did in 2016, but with how otherwise similar they are my hopes are dwindling more and more. I guess I can take solace in the fact that they aren’t quite... that bad yet? In terms of actions, at least? Their sentiments though are infinitely worse, so like... cool

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (3)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: cursing, angst(?), Draco being a meanie :(

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: not my best lmao kinda gets cheesy. anyways, Y/M/N = your mother’s name and Y/B/N = your brother’s name

(gif cred)

“Do I really have to get one?” Draco whined in the middle of the phone store, getting his very first cellular device.

“Yeah, man. It's 2008 and you still write letters. Plus, your bird took a shit on my car,” Blaine said matter-of-factly. He found it funny that Draco still used an owl post for communication; the only other person Blaine knew that still uses an owl is his 97 year old grandmother. And even she has a landline in her house. “It's just easier and quicker to use. Why wait a whole day for a letter when you can just text me and I’ll respond in two seconds?”

“I’ve never even used a wall phone, how do you expect me to use a bloody cell-phone, Blaine?” Draco was fidgeting in his seat as he waited for the store employee to finish, what was it called, a credit score? Muggles sure are weird.

She came back shortly with a small, black box that had a weird word on it. What the bloody hell is an iPhone? She explained how it turned on, all the applications it carried, and details about billing and more. Draco was still confused about the whole thing but Blaine said that he would help him understand it better.

“Well look at you, Dray. A modern wizard in America,” Blaine jokes. Draco played with the new device, working out all the kinks of it. He sent his very first text message to Blaine at that moment. Took him precisely 5 minutes to type out a very bland, simple ‘Hello. -Draco L. Malfoy’

It made Blaine laugh so hard that he held his stomach. “My god, we’re gonna have to work on your texting skills, man. First things first, you don't have to sign your name at the end of a text. I know it's you.” Blaine explained to Draco all the fundamentals of texting as they walked through the halls of Santa Marie.

Throughout the day, Draco shared his new number with his department. The more he shared his number, the faster he became at typing.

At the end of his shift, he went to a nearby restaurant where he usually picked up dinner —not one to know his way around the kitchen — and headed home.

It's been a good week for him; his mother had sent him a letter everyday, he finished setting up the guest room for Theo and Blaise, he has this new phone, and best of all, Y/N had not crossed his mind once.

Now he still hasn't accepted what she does in her free time, but also he realized that she’s not exactly harming him nor did she know what he was. He's usually busy with all the work he does, anyway. It was quite a sudden change of heart. But mostly, it was his mother that was able to talk to him and change his views.

My dearest son, had it been during the time before the war, I would have agreed with you. But you have to understand that things are different now. You're different now. Now I am not forcing you, but maybe you should just talk with her just once. If not, just ignore her. After all, she only lives next door.

When he read the letter, he could practically hear all of his friends telling him ‘She's right, you know.’ And deep down, he knew it too. So he went with her advice: ignore Y/N.

—

You’ve had a terrible week; your assistant manager forgot to count the inventory which meant she also forgot to make an order for inventory. A group of teens stole a bunch of little vials of oils you had put on display. And to top it all off, a man stood in front of your shop with signs that had biblical verses written on them, blocking the entrance way and essentially driving away any potential customers. You called security but they never came.

You were used to this happening, it's happened all your life. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. I'm not harming anyone, so why does this happen to me? Next week, your mother was flying in from Maine to look around the house to make sure nothing would ‘freak Stephanie out.’ 

Driving back home, you were just waiting to mix some bath salts in your tub, play music, and relax for the next couple of days. By sheer coincidence, as you pulled in you noticed your neighbor that you now knew as Draco pull into his driveway.

This week can't exactly get worse you thought as your legs carried you to his front door. With gentle knocks on the door, you waited patiently. Being rejected once more didn't bother you, but you at least wanted to hear him speak to you and try your chance to become better acquainted.

Draco opened his door, his tie was undone and he looked confusingly at you. “Can I help you?”

Panic overcame your senses and without thinking, you blurted out, “Do you hate me?” You noticed his shocked face as it was probably not something he expected to hear.

“Excuse me, what exactly are you talking about?” he asked in his entrancing British accent. It was too late to take it back, so you just kept going with it. “I’m sorry, but you moved in here four months ago and you seem to have made friends with everyone around here but for some reason, you won’t even say ‘hi’ to me. Did I offend you or something?” You sounded exhausted and sad. Not only at the week you just had, but how Draco wasn’t being so neighborly with you as he was with everyone else on the street. It bothered you so much to no end. And the most frustrating thing was that you didn’t understand why.

“Uh, I apologize that we haven’t been on speaking terms but I don’t think I have to talk to you now, do I?” Draco scoffed. Why is he being such a jerk? “I’m not saying that you have to talk to me, but it’d be nice if you could at least wave or something. But instead, you look at me funny and ignore me. It’s kinda rude.” 

“Merlin, you muggles are so temperamental.” Draco said under his breath. The word sounded funny to you.

“Muggles? Did you just call me a muggle?” The look on Draco’s face didn’t go unnoticed. He stared at you for a few moments, not saying anything. What does that mean? “Is that what you call Americans in the UK? Doesn’t really sound nice.”

Draco started laughing mockingly at you, his grip on his door tightening and knuckles turning white, “Look, I don’t understand what it is exactly you want from me but I will say this; the fact that you are so offended that I won’t acknowledge you is honestly quite fucking childish and if you couldn’t get the hint then I’ll say it plainly for you now. I don’t. Wish. To. Be. Friends. With. You. Got it?” and with that, he slammed the door in your face.

Groaning out, you yelled at him through his door, “Fuck you then! I don’t wanna be friends with some rude prick!” You ran to your door and slammed it pretty hard. The sudden noise frightened your cat and made her run from her tower into your room. What the fuck is his deal? 

You walked to your room, pissed off and tired. Looking up, you saw Draco in his room. You stared each other down before you walked up to your window to close your blinds, flipping him off before it fully closed. Afterwards, you took a regular shower and went to bed. Anger built up inside you, and for probably the first time, you hated another human being. And you had to live next to him for god knows how long.

-

“I mean, did you really have to say that to her?” Ian and Ashley had just listened to Draco explain what had happened the night before. Ian just sat in the chair eating his lunch as Ashley responded to him. “I know things might be different in England, but you should’ve given her a chance. She could be nice. I have a couple No-Maj friends on my block.”

“I’m on Ash with this. Is it really all because she’s Wiccan? Be honest, Dray,” Ian chipped in. At that point, Draco didn’t really know what to say. He thought he could look past it, but he couldn’t. “Maybe, yeah. I come from two families that had very strict traditions and views of muggles. I thought I dropped those views but seeing first hand what they do and-”

“And it makes you feel like a freak? Because you’re a real wizard that can do magic and they sit in some weirdly drawn circle and ‘do’ magic?” Ashley finished Draco’s sentence, making quotation marks with her hands. “I get it, I really do. I was offended too when I had to read about No-Maj’s doing this during school. And then to see movies where witches are viewed as ugly, green-skinned hags with warts on her face and wear rags for clothes. Kinda brings you down as a kid. But I got over it. You should, too.” Ashley held Draco’s hand for a bit before she grabbed her coffee mug and left for her appointments.

Ian sat quietly, watching as Draco was sinking in everything he was advised. “Look man, it’s not really my business to be telling you what you should or shouldn’t like, and who you should or shouldn’t like. And you know what, you’re not exactly in the wrong to get mad about what happened. After all, she just kinda picked a fight with you out of nowhere.” Draco had a face that looked as if he was saying ‘Right? I’m not crazy here’

“But,” of course there’s a ‘but’, “from what I hear around the street, Y/N’s really nice. Super weird for sure, but an overall nice person. I think you should think about it.” Ian nodded at Draco before joining Ashley out of the breakroom. Draco sat there, thinking about what his friends said and also thought back to his mother’s letters. I’m such a child. And I’m the one that called her childish. If he was honest, you were but it didn’t make him better.

He knew what he was going to do after work. It pained him to have to apologize to someone. Apologizing wasn’t something he was exactly used to doing. He’s only done it once to Harry and his friends nearly three years after the Battle. He didn’t even really know what to say to you. But he’ll figure it out. Right?

-

You stood shocked at your doorstep, hands holding onto the sweater as you looked before you. “Mom, you’re here early.”

“I had been given an extra week off of work so I thought I’d just come and see my oldest baby before your brother and Stephanie comes. Also gives me a head start to plan our dinner and get this house situated,” your mother walked past you with her two large luggage cases and dropped them on your living room floor. She looked around the house and eyed all the decorations and pictures on the walls.

To her, everything was nearly normal. You had family pictures posted and some pictures of you and your friends from college. In the living room, you had a tapestry hung up behind your couch that used to belong to your grandmother. “Y/N please, will you take down that blanket? Why don’t you put up a picture of some flowers, or maybe something abstract?”

“Because I don’t want a picture of flowers and that’s not a blanket. It was Grandma’s. I want it hung up there. Ma, you gotta understand that it’s my house now.” Your arms were crossed due to the cold. You had the day off and tried to spend it well as you did your cleansing spell in the morning, but it seems that it wasn’t very effective seeing as your mother came in and immediately started nitpicking everything.

“It was cute in your room when you were a kid. But you’re 26 now. How would your boyfriend feel if he walked in here and thought ‘oh, didn’t know I was dating a 16 year old.’” Her constant criticism was nearly pushing you to the edge. “Ma, I don’t really want to argue with you tonight so I’m just going to bed-” a doorbell rang throughout the house and you were thanking whoever was listening for giving you a reason to walk away from your mother. 

As soon as you opened the door, you were met with another face that you weren’t exactly excited to see. “Can I help you?” you repeated Draco’s words from last night back at him in a spiteful tone.

Through gritted teeth, he looked at you and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being an arse yesterday. I hope we can look past it and become well-acquainted neighbors.”

“Huh, you’re sorry? You don’t really sound it.”

“I know, I’m not really used to doing this,” Draco quipped. “But nonetheless, I would still like to apologize.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’m sorry too.” You were about to close the door until your mother came up and pushed the door completely open, “Honey, who’s at the door- oh! Hello, I’m Y/M/N. And you are?” She looked at Draco with the nicest smile that you had ever seen on her.

“Hello, My name’s Draco. Nice to meet you,” he awkwardly shook your mother’s hand. He didn’t smile, but he also didn’t have the usual scowl on his face when he would look at you. Guess he does have manners. “Y/N, is this a friend of yours?” your mother insinuated with a less than discreet wink. Without missing a beat, you replied, “No. Ma, this is my new neighbor. I just met him. But it’s late, so nice meeting you Draco. See you around.” And you closed the door.

“That was rude, Y/N. You should have invited him in. He’s very cute,” your mother grabbed her bags and headed into the guest room. From a distance, you could hear your mother speak to herself, saying ‘At least this room looks normal’. “It’s kinda late. Besides, we have all the time in the world to talk.” 

You walked to your small closet and grabbed the special bath salts for stress relief and walked to your bathroom. Starting to strip, your mother barged in. “Ma! Privacy, please!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I gave birth to you. Anyways, how long has it been since he moved in? Do you think he knows about your witchy stuff?” She asked as she stood by the door, checking her reflection as you continued to undress for your bath. “I don’t really hold a sign around my neck that says I’m a Wiccan, Mother,” you said with closed eyes. Your mother said, “I hope not. Night, baby,” and closed the door.

This is going to be a long three weeks.

-

The morning came and you woke up before your alarm and did your daily routine. The only difference was that your mother was going through your pantry looking for ingredients to make breakfast. “Morning, honey. Do you want some pancakes? I’ll make your favorites! It’s still blueberry, right?”

“No, that was Y/B/N. Mine are chocolate chip and peanut butter.” You said flatly as you grabbed your watering can. “Oh that’s right. But I already bought the blueberries.”

“That’s fine, they still taste good.” Your mother was satisfied with your response and started right away. You walked out to your front yard and watered your plants along the fence. The betony plants were beautiful, its sight was calming your nerves as you poured water over them. The sound of a door closing caused you to look up, watching Draco as he was standing in his yard with what seemed like a cigarette attached to his lips before he took it out and placed it onto an ashtray that was on his porch.

He walked over to the fence that separated your yards. The smell of the cigarette was in the air and it reminded you of your late father. “I meant it last night,” he mentioned his apology. You didn’t really know what to say so you just nodded and went back to watering your plants.

“But if I recall, you did start that fight,” he chuckled. You glared up at him for a few seconds before returning to your task. “Alright, I guess I’m sorry too.” Draco scoffed and just whispered ‘Whatever’ and walked away. “Wait,” you called for him before he walked back into his house and luckily, he stopped. “I’m sorry,” you said with sincerity. “Can we just start over?”

He stared at you, visibly contemplating your question then finally said, “Sure.” He walked into his house and you stood shocked in your yard. Your mother walked out and announced to you, “Honey! Breakfast is ready! Come on, I think your plants are watered enough.” With the snap of your screen door, you were released from your daze and walked inside. Maybe this week is turning around after all.

-

Draco sat in his room, not exactly sure what exactly happened. Was he really going to try and become friends with a muggle? He could imagine the look on his fathers face. Just because he had lost in the Battle, didn’t mean that he magically accepted muggles and muggle-borns. Narcissa didn’t like them much either but she also didn’t hate them as Lucius did.

This would shock not only his parents, but also his friends, Blaise and Theo. Merlin, the person that would probably have a field day about this would be Hermione Granger. He sat there, imagining Granger either laughing at him or cursing him after all the bullying he put her through. All those years of calling her a mudblood and he becomes friends with a muggle. A No-Maj. A Wiccan No-Maj. But then he thought about what Ian said at work. Y/N is really nice. Weird, but nice. And when he agreed to having a fresh start with you, he figured that it would give you a chance to prove him wrong about what you were like.

Or she could be exactly what I always thought muggles to be. Foolish.

—

next chp

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[dumbbitchenergy17]

New Life Pt. 2

You lived any normal life get up, go to school, head back home, and repeat. It was until your school had an interesting meeting with the one and only Tony Stark. Will meeting him be the best moment of your life or worst

Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader, future-Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 2688

Previously

“You got that equation down well not even college students solve it. So you got a name kid.” He smiled holding a hand out.

“Y/n. Y/n Y/L/N.” You shook his hand with a small smile. Tony freezes for a second looking you up and down studying you making you slightly nervous.

“Nice to meet you but this might be weird but I just might be your dad.”

You laughed and not a chuckle a full-blown laugh leaning against your knees trying to catch your breath.

“Oh god. That’s good.” You stand straight wiping the tears looking at Tony still staring with no smile on his face. You look at Ned and Peter and they both have their jaws dropped

“Oh shit you’re serious.” You said. Tony nods shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah this is really weird, soo I’m just gonna go.” You point behind you and being to walk backwards.

“Wait,” Tony grabs your arm making you look back at him

“Look Mr. Stark this is just some huge coincidence and I would know if my dad the Tony Stark.” You try to ease the blow. Right before Tony try to respond

“Y/n!” Harry calls out making you look back to see him and Principal Mortia, “Your principal called really on your first day of scho-” Harry beginning to reprimand you when he sees who is still holding onto your arm he freezes and looks at Tony then back at you.

“Harry?” Tony askes in recognition.

“Mr. Mortia I’m sorry but Y/n will not be attending Midtown anymore,” Harry says and everyone freezes and your heart drops.

“What!” You, Peter, and Tony yell at the same time.

“Sir please think about this. Y/n is a bright student with a gifted mind and will excel greatly here..” Your principal tries to change his mind.

“Harry what are you doing.” You try to get him to realize what he is doing.

“Y/n we’re leaving.” Harry comes over and grabs your arm and begins to drag you out.

“Harry just stop.” You push away from him, “I like this school. I feel normal here and not the freak that knows too much.”

“We are not discussing this not let’s go.” Harry ended the conversation.

“She got a bright mind think this through, Harry.” Tony tried putting his opinion 

“Stay out of this Stark.” He hissed back going back to grab your arm but you pulled back.

“Do you too know each other?” You asked looking at Tony and Harry.

“He was best friends with my ex-wife,” Tony said you look between him and Harry. You knew that Harry was best friends with your mom before she left.

“I think we should take this somewhere private.” Principal Mortia tried ushering the group to somewhere more private as a crowd was forming.

“What was her name.” You said over everyone arguing with each other. Tony look at Harry then looked at you

“Y/M/N.” He said making you suck in a breathe tears building up.

“Kid come on let’s go talk about this somewhere else.” Harry tried to guide you out of the crowded hallway.

“Did you know.” You deadpanned still looking at your shoes.

“Kid you know that I would-” He tried to defend himself.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. Did. You. Know.” You hissed out looking at him Harry looked down ashamed 

“Yes.” You let out a laugh at how he felt guilty.

“How could you.” You whimpered a tear slipping down your face and you turned to look at Tony who looked equally upset.

“And you. How could you not try to look.” You shook your head wiping your face 

“Y/n let’s just-” Harry tried to talk

“Just! Don’t” You lifted your arms up trying to put distance from them “just don’t” You grab your bag and rush through the crowd until you hit the door that leads to outside.

“Y/N!” they yell after you. The cold air hits your face causing pins and needles to appear as you make your way further away from the school towards the subway. 

“Y/N Stop!” You turn and see both Tony and Harry standing there Peter and Ned behind them. You weave through the bystanders as you hear footsteps after you. As you enter the subway you make your way to the turnstile and try to get your metro card to work but won’t pick up the scan 

“Y/n..” You hear your voice

“Come on. Come on. Come on.” You catch the attention of an elderly lady

“Here dear those things always are trouble-some.” She swipes her card and it lights up green.

“Thank you so much, ma’am.” You rush through the turnstile and rush down the stairs to the platform not even caring where the subway takes you. You just needed space from all this. You see a subway at the end of the platform boarding right as you hear your name beginning called.

“Y/n. Come on stop.” Harry yells. You run as fast as you can to get to the subway right as you are about to board an arm grabs you and rips you away from the doors, people still entering and exiting.

“Y/n, Don’t do this let’s talk.” Tony tries to reason with you.

“Talk, You had 16 years for you to talk, so just stay away from me.” You pulled your arm away from him watching his face fall. You enter the subway and the doors close right as Harry catches up and you both stare at each other as it moves and you are gone. You walk over to an empty seat, you lean your head back trying to keep your tears at bay.

You couldn’t remember where this subway was leading you to, but after almost an hour it stopped and most people got off. Walking out of the station and ended up on the street you looked at your phone and saw you were in Lenox Hill which was pretty far from home. You felt your phone buzz and saw multiple text messages and missed calls some from Harry and some from Peter.

9 missed calls from Harry Murphy

3 missed calls from Peter Parker

‘I’m sorry Y/n I should have told you please come home so we can talk.’ -Harry 

‘Please come home I don’t know where you are’ -Harry 

‘Please be safe wherever you are’ -Harry

The messages were all the same and you read one from Peter

‘Hey Y/n I know this might be so crazy and everything but please be safe, you’ve been gone for a while and know I’m here for you’ -Peter

You shoved your phone in your pocket and began wandering around the city just going where your feet took you. Before you even realized you had ended up in Midtown Manhattan the defining feature was Stark tower maybe 5 blocks away from where you are. You sigh going to turn away and just head home when thoughts about why you never met Tony or what really happened.

“Damnit just turn around and go home you’re only causing more pain for yourself.” You mumbled trying to force yourself to go home and forget it all ever happened. But you somehow ended up right in the lobby of the Tower workers and people made their way around the room with purpose, while you just look like a lost kid.

“You go up and ask if anything you get kicked out and look like a fool.” You hyped yourself up, you took a deep breath, stood up straight, and walk to the front desk where a woman sat typing away at her computer. When you go closer she looked up and gave you a smile

“Hi, do you have an appointment today.” She asked pulling up a calendar. You shook your head and immediately got nervous and ran a hand through your hair. 

“Um...No, but I need to talk to Mr. Stark.” You said trying to seem as sure of yourself.

“I’m sorry but if you don’t have an appointment you can’t go.” She gave you a pity smile You nodded and began walking away before you turned back

“Can I give you a message.” You asked and she nodded. “Um tell him I’m sorry and I want to know more about my family.” The woman nodded typing it into her computer

“Thank you.” You gave her a smile and fixed your bag and made your way towards the door, right before you got outside.

You heard rustling “Miss! Excuse me!” you turned around to see the woman from the desk rush over to you. “I don’t know how but Mr. Stark would like to see you.” She said leading you towards the elevators. You nod as she presses one of the buttons and the doors begin to close when a hand pops in and they open again and it’s Steve Rogers.

“You’re Captain America.” You said in awe looking at the Avengers standing right next to you.

“Yeah, but Steve is fine, uh what floor.” He pointed to the array of buttons you pointed back towards the lobby

“I think the lady already pressed it.” Steve nodded

“Friday, to the common rooms.” He asked,

“Right away Captain Rogers.” A voice called out making you jump and Steve cracked out a smile.

“So what brings you to the tower.” He asked leaning against the wall watching the lights flash as you hit a floor.

“Um.. I have a meeting-thing with Mr. Stark.” You said running your hand through your hair nervous about what to disclose or not.

“You one of the Tony new prodigy kids he claims.” He jokes but you freeze at the thought of him having other ‘kids’ even though he did have one.

“Um not exactly.” You wrung your hands together feeling your hands get clammy. 

Before Steve could respond the doors open up and you see most of the Avengers just sit around. Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were playing some kind of game, while Natasha Romanoff sat next to Clint Barton who was drinking something while having a conversation, and Wanda Maximoff sat on the floor talking to Vision. But they all froze when they saw you standing there with Steve. 

“Hey Cap, who’s the kid.” Sam called out causing more eyes to move to you and you could feel your hands shake nervous to be under the gaze of many heroes. “She here to see Tony.” He responded making Natasha chuckle “Another kid for him to claim.” Your breath hitched hearing that same word ‘kid’ were you his kid or just some random stranger who is just in the wrong situation. Before anyone else could talk Tony walked in and both of you stared at each other.

“Hi.” Tony breathes out scanning over you trying to take as much detail in as possible.

“Are you my dad?” You asked causing someone to choke on their drink

“I’m sorry I must be deafer than I thought. Did she said, dad?” Clint said making Natasha smack him in the arm.

“Well- I... I mean the logistics of it being.” Tony stuttered waving his hands but you cut him off

“Just a yes or no. Are you my father?” You stated your voice shaking trying to keep the tears at bay

“Yes, I think, god I hope.” Tony breathed out trying to smile. You nodded walking up to him and he opened his arms expecting a hug but a loud smack made everyone’s jaw drop. You slapped his square in the face so hard that even your hand hurt.

“Sixteen years,” You said as he pressed his hand against his cheek not even looking you in the eyes. “You had sixteen years to contact or I don’t know at least try to look.” You hissed clenching your fist up trying to get it to stop shaking. “Did you even try were you relieved that I was gone.” You cried

“Of course not..” Tony tried to console you

“Then why didn’t you try..” You whimpered a tear slipping down his face a hand touched your shoulder making you jump and you saw it was Steve.

“I think we all need a minute to just calm down and then we can sit and talk ok…” You and Tony both nodded. “Natasha can you stay with-” Steve started and was cut off

“I got it, Steve.“ Natasha stood up and wrapped an arm around you and began to lead you out and Wanda got up and followed you two and the rest of the men stated in the common room. You ended up in the kitchen and you sat at the island with Wanda next to you, while Natasha went to grab you water. “Here..” She stretched not knowing your name

“Y/n.” You thanked her grabbing the glass and taking a sip.

“So this must be a lot right now so just take your time.” Wanda rubbed her hand up and down your back calming you as you drank most of the water. You placed the glass onto the island and rubbed your eyes ridding the tears from your face. 

“I never knew my dad that well just vague memories. All my life I thought there had to be some reason he wasn’t here, but there he was a fucking train ride from me.” You sniffled. Natasha nodded and Wanda grabbed your hand giving it a squeeze.

“Tony must have had a reason for this.” Wanda tried to console you

“Miss Romanoff, Captain Rogers would like you and your company to come to the common lounge.” Friday’s voice rang out

“Thanks Friday.” Natasha responded as she stood up, “You ready kid.” You nodded grabbing your bag and you three made your way back to the common room. When you got here most of the avengers had left giving you privacy, sitting on one of the couches was James Rhodes and Tony, with Steve standing in the middle.

“Can you stay.” You looked at Natasha when you felt her pull away. She nodded and Wanda gave you a brief hug before leaving you too to sit on the other couch.

“Uh, Bruce is gonna come and take some of your DNA for a parental test.” Steve explained and you nodded feeling eyes on you. Tony just stared at you his eyes red hair all messed up probably from running his hands through it a lot. Dr. Banner walked in with a kit and a computer as well.

“Hi, Y/n I just need to swab you.” He gave you a smile and you nodded letting him swab you and then he went over to Tony and swabbed him as well. “This should take about five to ten minutes.” Bruce walked over to one of the tables and started plugging stuff into the computer. You all just sat there in silence neither you nor Tony was looking at each other making things more awkward before Steve cut the tension by talking

“So Y/n where do you live?” Steve tried to start small talk

“Queens.” You mumbled and he nodded knowing he wasn’t making the situation any less awkward.

“You must be really smart to go to Midtown.” Steve added making you look up and then at Tony. He probably talked about you while you were in the kitchen 

“Not anymore.” You remember you don’t go there any more thanks to Harry. Before anyone could talk Bruce walked back

“Uh the result is in.” he said making both you and Tony look at each other. “Friday.” Bruce called out to.

“The results from a Miss Y/n show a 49.3 percent relation to Mr. Stark and a 50.7 percent relation to Mrs. Y/l/n.” You could feel eyes on you as you stared at your hands.

“Wha-What happened to my mom.” You asked trying to focus your breathing looking up at Tony as looked back at you. Tony looked back down

“I-I don’t know.”