#so fuckin exhausted
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This has been on my mind all fuckin day for some reason...
#I'm fuckin exhausted#i was up at 6 to go to fuckin work today#I can't#i cannot do it#so glad my boss noticed how unusually quiet I've been today#and asked about the 8am shift she gave me#random#asexual meme#aegosexual#asexual#memes#obi wan kenobi#star wars#star wars memes#and yet I'm still trying to write my fa fiction
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man you good?
#i just reaaally wanted to draw him fuckin exhausted with wings out :D#so here u go it was fun#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#fycodraws#scene from rp#death at dawn
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Need a dom that will lovingly but firmly pull me away from my work desk at the end of the day and refocus my attention on a chew toy or something
#prone to Working on art until I can barely keep my eyes open#not healthy but I do it so unconsciously I just do not want to stop if I’m in a groove#its great to get a lot of shit done but then I am so fuckin Exhausted#and then do it again the next day LMFAO#blessing and a curse that art is (almost) my full time Job but also my hobby and passion#yapping tn#anyways I did pull myself away from my work desk at a reasonable time where is my treat#jasperbarks#Jasper yaps?#:3
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wanted to make a takenaka art dump to practice for potential fic art but i ended up just doing a full piece after the first sketch.whoopsie
#qkdraws#id in alt#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#takenaka momozou#i like his hair it's fun#pose was fun to do too .did u guys know i like clothing folds have i mentioned that#shoes are becoming slightly less evil things to me but they're still annoying and i hate them#am i only capable of drawing converse ..........................................perhaps#took a break from drawing ritsu 695736572916 times to draw takenaka once.back to ritsu i go#so. fun fact#i made this like a week ago and had it in my drafts for a few days#and then sunday i debated on posting it but i didn't have the id written yet and i was very mentally exhausted#so i decided to wait until i had enough energy to write the id#the very next day i realize. sunday was takenaka's birthday.#i coulda fuckin posted my ONLY takenaka piece on his birthday. ididn't even know it was his bday. i didn't draw it for his bday#i coulda timed that so well.i coulda been so cool.but no#anyway uhm.happy late birthday takenaka
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Aughh,, this time I'll def render ltr yall
#kano x erron black#kano mk11#erron black#mortal kombat 11#kano x erron black fanart#art#artists on tumblr#mk11 fanart#kano#mk11#fanart#digital art#my art#sketch#WIP#I'm so fuckin exhausted ughhh#i hate en#em
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getting home from work and wanting to write so bad but being so so so tired is like. augh. woe. woe and misery.
#gav gab#had a weird antisemitism event at work today too#that was fuckin wild#my coworker and the justice of the peace both jumped immediately to intervene on my behalf so#that was good#but WOOF#this makes me want to throw such a tantrum tho like i want to write I WANT TO WRIIIIIIIIIITE#but im EXHAUSTED. SOBS.
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ajc rps are fun
sometimes you're a serious part of a political intrigue kingdom rp with a side plot to assassinate a king
and sometimes you end up in the knee surgery rp witnessing a custody battle a courtroom and a boxing ring all in the same hour
#animal jam classic#animal jam#jamblr#ajc#just some thoughts lmao#im so tired and was just reminded of this one rp#where i got killed and then turned into a zombie#and then i only ate sand and bit furniture for the rest of the time#was fun#anyway im gonna sleep now#fuckin exhausted
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You know what? Fuck it. It's my blog and I've had a shit-tasic week bc of getting in a GODDAMN car crash that's going to put my family in the hole financially and FUCK ME I am going to have SOMEONE appreciate the work I did at the beginning of it that made me feel like my week was gonna be AWESOME because I was fuckin PROUD of what I did.
Context: I'm a film student in an Audio class. We just did our first project. Said project was "record and edit a 30 second ad designed for radio. Doesn't matter what it is you're advertising, doesn't even have to exist, just make sure it's 30 seconds, add music and sound effects, and make sure it's clearly an ad."
And through my still current hyperfixation, this was born.
Voice and edit all me. I think I did really good and I'm proud of it, but it's also like. One of the only things making me feel like a real person right now, if that makes sense. Idk hope you guys like it.
#deadpool#deadpool 3#car crash#tw car crash#tw car accident#audio#voice acting#idk what else uh#audio production#i guess#deadpool and wolverine#cause that's what started it#uh idk man im so fuckin exhausted
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life update: its so good :)
#working in car insurance is unendingly boring and tedious and dear god i hate it here#but damn that pay is good#lets us live one block away from the ocean. pay the bills. eat whatever we want. smoke copious amounts of weed#and it lets my baby keep the job she loves even though the pay is shit#everything is worth it when i see how happy she is#and when i sit down on my balcony looking towards the sea with a joint in one hand and a cold drink in the other#fuck its all so worth it#we even made our very first ikea purchase lol we're fuckin thrivin FINALLY#i still havent been able to get back into art bc ive been EXHAUSTED but im slowly getting there :)#sol.txt
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when will my motivation & energy for writing return....
#hyperfixation continues to go brrrrr#but it's slowing down a little. i'm starting to burn out (mostly bc i'm. running out of things to do akjshfsd)#but i just??? idk man i'm in a weird fuckin funk rn#kinda focusing on my mental health. trying to be Aware of why i feel/react/behave the way i do in situations#which in itself is honestly kinda exhausting? i think that's why i'm so mentally wiped rn#but it's... helping. i'm making some (slow) progress.#starting to feel vaguely human a little more often#even managed to stop myself spiralling into the Bad Thoughts a few nights ago instead of succumbing to em which. honestly? p big for me.#but yeah i akjfhds idk i've been keeping up with the dash but just. haven't had the spoons to actually do more than read & hit like#thanks as always for yall's patience with me ;0; i'll be back to ic stuff at some point i just. need a bit of time ig.#love u guys i hope ur all doing well!!!! ♡♡♡#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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Whump Reference Post for Fingernail Removal Torture
Hi whump writers of Tumblr! I recently made a little introduction post in which I said I’d be making reference posts. This is one I already had typed up, because for some reason this was the first thing I thought of.
There are no images attached, but I’m putting the rest of the post under a readmore since the majority of the content is semi-graphic written description of the how-to’s and wherefore’s and such of fingernail removal torture.
To be clear: I will be going into as much depth as I possibly can without using images. The content of this post will be purely academic. There will be no artistic liberties taken. This post is meant to be as accurate to (and descriptive of) a real-life situation as possible.
I hope some part of this post eventually winds up being a helpful resource for someone!
1) Not as painful as it’s made out to be
-It's painful, but definitely not to the extent it’s shown in movies or whatnot. A lot of the "pain" comes from the shock factor of seeing your body without something it’s always had, as well as the inherent "wrongness" that comes with experiencing a part of your body being removed.
2) There is very very thin film of skin between the fingernail and the finger.
-If one is careful in removing the fingernail by peeling it back slowly, one can preserve this thin piece of skin. -If one pulls the fingernail back quickly and without taking care, this thin film will rip, and the nail will pull away with bits of flesh attached.
3) The flesh under the nail will be vertically striated.
-If one uses the peel-back method, and is careful to not let the thin film of skin between the nail and the flesh rip, the skin/flesh underneath the nail will be as visibly striated as the fingernail itself. If you look closely at your fingernail right now, you’ll see that there are many tiny grooves from the tip of your nail to the base. This is true for all human fingernails. If the nail is peeled back with sufficient care, those striations will be echoed on the skin underneath the nail.
4) The “peel entirely off” method versus the "peel back and then stop" method versus the "pull out entirely" method.
-The “peel entirely off” method is how I will refer to the method of grasping firmly the tip of the fingernail in some sort of vice (usually pliers) and then peeling it backwards, moving the pliers from the nail at the tip of the finger towards the hand itself. Using this method, the nail will remain firmly grasped in the pliers the entire time. The movement of the pliers only stops when the base of the nail is ripped entirely out of the finger. This will necessarily result in ripping out a fair bit of skin past the cuticles, as the technical base of the nail (aka “nail matrix”) is generally around half a centimeter hand-wards past the cuticles (and follows the curve of the nail, so is deeper than the cuticles as well). Due to the nature of skin, I would expect a tear reminiscent of an extremely deep hangnail that goes from the base of the cuticles to at least halfway between the first and second knuckle (and at most goes to the second knuckle). In this case, it is not guaranteed that the nail will grow back. There is a chance it’ll come back, but there is also a chance that the nail matrix is permanently damaged and will not be able to grow a new nail. Since every human is different, there’s not an exact science to determining where a person’s nail matrix is before it’s ripped out. A (very) general rule of thumb is to follow the curve of the existing fingernail, and draw a point on that curve before it hits bone. Obviously, this is extremely subjective.
-The “peel back and then stop” method is how I will refer to what is essentially the previous method, but one stops before the nail-ripping goes past the cuticle and snips off the peeled part, leaving a milimeter or so of fingernail existing on the nailbed. In this case, it is assured that the nail matrix is undisturbed, and the fingernail will grow back. This is the method I will assume is taken for the future steps
-The “pull out entirely” method is how I will refer to the situation where one grasps the protruding part of the nail firmly, and applies force away from the hand and in the direction the finger points. In this case, there’s a large chance that the nail will rip. This depends largely on the care taken with the pulling object (pliers, usually) to grab the nail exactly parallel with the sides of the pliers. If any part of the pliers digs into the nail at a singular location, this will create a point at which pressure will build up, and the nail will likely rip at this location. The strength of the individual’s nails also affects the ripping. The individual’s nail strength can vary based on nourishment as well as on a general person-to-person basis. Personally, I do not recommend this method.
-If one wants to make the removal definitely permanent, there’s the possibility of peeling it back all the way down and out, and then chemically burning where one assumes the nail matrix is. (Some serious irl hikers do this to their toenails on purpose, to reduce the chances of getting ingrown toenails from being laced into hiking boots for days on end.) Removing the nail permanently will obviously reduce the opportunity to peel it off again, but will give a permanent Horrific Aspect to the victim.
5) For the first three days, the exposed flesh will be painful.
-The entire tip of the finger will be a constant deep and throbbing pain. Any deviation from this norm will be an increase in pain, never a decrease (save medication or an ice-bath-for-full-minutes immersion to the point of numbness).
-Any contact with the exposed nailbed will increase the pain. Knocking the exposed flesh against anything, even extremely gently, will result in a visible bright red welt under the thin layer of skin (bright red on light skin only! on darker skin, the welt will still be visible, but will show as a dark red-brown). It is a visual similar to an extremely tiny, non-protruding blood blister. Knocking the nailbed against something less gently will result in fully scraping off that delicate outer layer of skin.
-Using the finger for anything will be painful (though not unbearably so), and it may even be painful to bend the finger at all.
-Any moisture on the exposed flesh (including anything from regular water to antibiotic ointment) will hurt a lot. This will intensify the throbbing at least twofold across the entire nailbed, and will also result in an amount of stinging as if one had just realized one had been stung by a bee.
6) For treatment and healing thereof (if quick healing is desired)
For those first three days, any bandaid application is inadvisable -The exposed flesh will be so tender and vulnerable that any bandaid (even the non-stick kind) will stick to the exposed flesh and rip it upon removal. I can only assume this is in part due to the curvature of the finger, which means that any wrapping-around type bandaid will inherently put pressure on the nailbed, resulting in sticking.
-To promote healing, the first three days should be without any sort of covering on the wound.
After the first three days, a scab will form. -At this point, the pain will be much less. it might be uncomfortable to bump the nailbed into objects, but it will not be the same pain as in the first three days.
-The wound will also be much less sensitive to moisture.
-When the scab starts to crack (usually a vertical crack), one should apply antibiotic ointment and a bandaid. At this point in the proess, it is desired for the scab to remain as consistently moist as possibly. This will help the scab fall off when it is ready to do so.
-At this point, the finger can be used normally (within reason) without much (if any) pain.
After two or three days with the bandaid covering, the scab will start to fall off.
-One may expedite this process if one is careful.
-At this point, the skin on the nailbed is sensitive to the touch, but not to the point of pain.
-There will be some dry, loose skin around the edges of the nailbed.
-The previously visible striation will no longer be there.
-Pressure on the exposed nailbed will not be necessarily painful, but it will feel decidedly Odd. Though not painful, It will be an extremely sensitive area.
-The nailbed will be a delicate pinkish color.
Around a week after the initial scab falls off, there will appear to be another scab. It will be a relatively thin layer of dry, dead skin.
-If the nail is allowed to grow normally, it is likely that it will cover this second scab before it has the chance to fall off.
-If the stub of the fingernail is trimmed routinely, it is possible for the scab to fall off, leaving only relatively smooth unblemished skin where the nailbed is. This skin will be roughly the same color and texture as the skin on the tip of the finger.
7) The rate at which fingernails grow back is extremely slow
-The average growth rate is about 3.5 milimeters per month. There are several factors that can cause this to vary:
-Fingernails on the dominant hand grow back faster than the nails on the non-dominant hand.
-Fingernails grow back faster than toenails.
-Nails grow back faster in warm weather than in cold weather.
-Depending on the nail and the aforementioned conditions, one can expect a total regrowth time of anywhere from three to six months (or more).
8) Life Without Fingernails
-Fingernails affect a large part of our everyday lives. We mostly use them when we’re manipulating objects with our hands, and we use them to scratch. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s a lot. It’s hard to explain just how weird it is to not have fingernails to someone who’s never experienced it, but here goes:
-Fingernails are the Hard Backs used to brace our fingers against a hard shell when we manipulate something with our hands. If you pinch your fingers together right now, you’ll see a white band along the top of your fingernail. This is where the pressure from the pinching goes; it’s braced against your nail.
-Picking something up without fingernails feels extremely odd the first few hundred times you do it. It takes a long time to get used to it.
-Writing is even worse. Without the hard shell backing your fingers, the pencil tends to slip out of your grip more often. If you usually have long enough fingernails that you balance your pen/pencil on them, you’re extremely likely to have the pencil completely slip out of your grip multiple times a sentence.
-You don’t realize how much you unconsciously scratch itchy parts of your body until you no longer have the ability to do so. If you’re only missing a few nails, you have to consciously adjust your hand so that you can scratch with the existing ones. If you’re missing all of them, you have to actively find an external object to alleviate the itch.
Some places on the body one can scratch with their teeth, but for most places, one needs to either find an “itch stick,” or rub that part of their body on something scratchy. A lot of clothing is scratchy enough to work for this. One needs to learn how to vary the pressure so that one can alleviate the itch without tearing through the skin or scratching themselves.
Pros:
-Body horror
Fingernail removal is a more mentally significant mutilation than cuts or burns, if only because it draws on the "that was there and now it's not" aspect of body horror.
-Can be inflicted more than once
Since fingernails grow back, they can be removed again and again and again. Though it may take some time for the nails to regrow, it isn't even close to the type of permanent that’s chopping off a finger or a toe.
-Helplessness
Since it takes a few days for the nailbeds to heal enough to be able to use one's fingers, a complete removal of all fingernails will take away one's ability to use their hands. Even after this initial period of extreme sensitivity, the lack of fingernails is something most people aren’t prepared for. The previous section explaining how fingernails affect daily life is significant here.
Cons:
-Can’t repeat often.
Once a fingernail is off, it's not coming back for at least three months (likely longer). It doesn't have the relatively quick reset time that burns or cuts do.
-Relatively short amount of time in pain
All of the pain is in the first few days. It is inconvenient afterwards, but there is little to no pain at this time.
-Amount of care needed
One needs to be relatively careful inflicting this. Fingernails are not as resilient as you'd think, and the likelihood of them ripping before you can finish ripping them off is fairly large if you're not being careful.
If you have a short-tempered or impatient whumper, this might not be their particular wheelhouse.
Conclusion
Overall, I’d say that the effectiveness depends entirely on the desired result. The time it takes for the fingernails to regrow versus the amount of time in which the subject is in pain is not a very productive ratio, so if you’d want your whumper doing a particular torture regularly, I wouldn’t recommend this.
However, if the whumper’s goal is to appeal to the body horror aspect without permanent damage, this is a great option. The fact that it takes nails so long to regrow gives the victim a sense of horrified freakishness. It also has the added benefit of reducing the victim’s maneuverability far after the fact.
The semi-visible nature of this method of torture can be effective if one wishes to horrify characters outside the whumper/whumpee relationship. You don’t immediately look at other people’s hands when you meet them, and as such it might take a while for outside characters to notice the lack of fingernails (especially if they’re past the three day mark). But once they notice, it will be hard to look away.
#whump#whump writing#whumpblr#whump community#whump reference post#this is the post i already had typed up i hope it passes muster#i tried to be as exhaustive as possibly because i KNOW there's so many details one needs when writing a thing#investigative journalism but with injuries that's us here at sbfws#ummm i don't know what to tag this#if y'all want a trigger warning tag for this stuff please let me know?#or if y'all want to be added to a tag list also please let me know??#also also please feel free to make specific post requests if y'all want?#i don't know how timely my responses to them will be but i will FOR SURE try to get to them as soon as i can#just like#if you're a whump writer who fuckin hates having to do research into different types of injuries hit me up!#(especially the weird injuries)#(fingernails are all fine and good but i thrive on the Weird Stuff There's Barely Any Research On you know)#(I really like researching weird niche stuff)#(you'll be doing me a favor if you give me something Decidedly Odd to fixate on)#nail gore#nail whump#hand whump
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gonna. surprise go look at an apartment today lmao might panic and or cry
#opportunity too good and weird to pass up#possibly TOO good we'll. we'll fuckin see.#i really don't wanna move but it's the right amount smaller AND like. $300 less a month with fewer utilities.#which would be. so much.#I DON'T WANT TO MOVE IN A MONTH IM EXHAUSTED#but.#lies down#don't wanna have the lease breaking convo either esp since the only reason is money#BUT.#i am so broke all the time and im so tired
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i swear people needa start acknowledging that systems/plurals exist whenever they start going "oh but someone can't identify as [x] and [x] at the same time that's contradictory"
like i'm sorry but typically the experience of being plural will result in us using labels in a way that is outside of the singlet experience and i'm sick of y'all acting like the queer singlet experience is the only way (and the "correct" way) to be queer
#ghost whispers#cal.txt#plural system#pluralgang#queer#lgbtq#contradictory labels#this is going on main i'm feeling bitchy abt this today#inspired by people going 'oh you can't be aroace and aroallo at the same time' my guy we id as both bc our plurality. shut up.#'just identify as [x] instead!' that's cool but we know ourselves and what labels we feel comfortable with best. thanks.#lowkey it makes me exhausted with bothering to look through even the label tags that we feel comfortable enough to do so#bc half the time it's so singlet centered and ignoring that systems exist and i'm just. ok sure fuckin whatever#anyways my rant i'm tired of people pretending they care about systems' experiences and then pushing us out of queer spaces thanks
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bitch flower
#hina.txt#we're Struggling lads#everything from th past week caught up with me and i was so exhausted this afternoon all i did was sleep#still if i only get 2 panels done today itll be a tragedy#shakes self by the shoulders u do NOt have 2 render every fuckin petal bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#U Make The Rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so much of art is just reminding urself that u ultimately have full control#and yet
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I'm boo boo the clown and forgot Dancer's second pair of arms as well as the fact Alabaster is non-verbal and I drew his speech bubbles like how I draw normal speech instead of telepathy. That's fine. This is fine. I'm not fixing this
Anyway I've been thinking about a new kid. I cannot be stopped. This is an addiction. Anyway Dancer, Alanis and Anthony end up finding a girl out in the Wastelands and decide to bring her to Flower
#spooky arts#faaf au#my ocs#oc: alabaster#oc: dancer#i like them both theyre my favourites i should draw them more#no id#will add tomorrow i am so fuckin exhausted and need sleep asap
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