#so fuckeddd up

[prismbearer]

I've been thinking about Wyll but waiting to play his origin to maybe get more specifics. In terms of him being transfigured permanently into a more Infernal form, it's interesting to me as a choice for Mizora.

I believe in terms of the contract if he openly breaks tenets or whatever he can potentially be turned into a lemure which is the lowest form of devil for human souls that must climb up the infernal hierarchy. Not a great fate but the majority of the population of the hells are technically human souls who have gone up the command to middling positions.

In a way, a devil spin is kinder, it's almost a theoretical promotion. It's hard to bargain for a higher ranking/appearance for those who end up within the hells, except through bargaining and loyalty... But then Mizora likes Wyll in her way and wants to keep him as an asset, so keeping him pretty enough still to get around, but also just different enough that he isn't identifiable as a tiefling... is also a cruelty to continue to set him apart from others. Mizora had probably always intended for Wyll to pass into being her Blade after he lived his material life as a Hero.

At this point, I think it's more infernal corruption than full transformation. (I don't think he's technically completely a devil just yet, more in process, the mar is also on his soul. We see Wyll get passed through and become corrupted by the energies of each of the layers, and then later if you let Mizora have her way with you she marks your soul in a very similar way.) But even as a fiend pact warlock, he would have felt the influence of his pact the nature of his patron this entire time. The fact that he struggled so hard to still be the Hero, to still uphold a code, to please his father and his own expectations... Is insane. And warlocks (especially fiend pact) are sort of blamed for their own downfalls when things go poorly, "shouldn't have made a deal with a devil, what did you expect?"

As if Devils aren't by design, intended to lure these souls astray. Like sure there are gods who can take mortal souls into a heavenly afterlife but the gods clearly do not have the time to help or communicate with everyone, and Devils and the Hells are just one of the many lower planes. And devils are literally allowed to attempt to tempt souls that pass after their death. The whole system is kinda fucked up in general in that regard. (Looks at the blood war.)

So in a way, to those who pact with fiends, they are often positioning themselves for standing in their afterlife. Demon worshippers from cults bargain the loyalty and devotion of their comparably short lives on the material plane for higher ranking positions when they are doomed to the hells. That way they can bypass the whole horrifying experience of becoming a lemur.

I genuinely think the afterlife concept of DND is so horrifying and I am not surprised that those who study and are fully aware of the reality of their impending doom (wizards/warlocks/anyone who cares to interact with these energies and knows that the system is rigged with them at the bottom as fodder) end up plotting their own ascension to godhood or immortality. Tbh anything other than being a helpless little soul after death is attractive.

Theoretically for Wyll, it is unlikely he will go anywhere else than the Hells in his afterlife. Unless a god decides to step up and offer a place in the higher planes... But would they to a soul that has been corrupted and claimed by the hells?

[gotyouanyway]

man i wish my cane/crutches were actually helpful

[electricpurrs]

hakita also explained that the reason gabriel is on the fucking moon in the act 2 cutscene is because the moon is the first layer of heaven in dante's inferno which makes a lot of sense and idk why none of us thought of that

[beegswaz]

i was like yeah im gonna sleep for 5 hours bc i have work at 5:30 but i was Wrong. The Caffeine.

[cruelsister-moved2]

interesting how all the coverage of the greek riots thats painting them as negative and troublesome and aimed at conservative audiences have headlines like “roma clash with police” but all the coverage that frames it as a valid protest against police brutality are just like “protests after boy shot”

[jesskasb]

guy who listens to a lot of system of a down reading about the seven last statements of jesus: wow... it truly is like chop suey!

[bee-named-alex]

OMG. ok so IWTV s2 ep8... Finished it like two minutes ago so here are my thoughts. SPOILERS.

Yeah no there's no way I can wait for like two years for the next season. No fucking way.

This episode was amazing. I don't want to say masterpiece (because I'm sure there are flaws that I'm just not observant enough to see) but it is for sure the word I'm thinking.

Lemme try and go somewhat chronologically.

The start, heartbreaking, the speech "the suit changes nothing" oh my hell. The rocks that's fucked no thank you. Armand saving Louis "again" and Louis not even wanting to be alive. The way he talks about it "My rage was denied, my rage killed..." like he was out of his body and acting on autopilot (like he seems to do a lot actually)

His burning down the theater and killing of Santiago filled me with so much joy. They very much deserved it and omg he got them. He was like an angel of revenge (and he looked angelic too, sorry, no I cannpt be normal, he was gorgeous)

Armand's "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you" and Louis' "You can't" and yes he cannot but he will try (by erasing your memories i guess lol)

Meeting with Lestat in Magnus' lair hurt. "Here's your death" and the kiss (after not even wanting to be with armand really and just doing it to hurt lestat) and the speech after and we're basically threatning him with loneliness again and it's just so... no words really. Hurtful and tragic for Lestat (especially since he was the one to save him like that's fuckeddd)

Dubai. "That's the end of it" halfway through the episode and their weird happiness like it was obvious something was gonna get fucked and I'm glad it did.

Investigative journalist Daniel Molloy using his powers for good aka making these two vamipires divorce (which he almost did 50 years ago but this time it's on purpose). Love him.

I love how he eases Louis with the little stuff, the discrepancies (that were in the show on purpose they make no mistakes yay), and how with every second Louis doubts everything more and more and how with every second Armand's eyes show a little more fear.

Lestat actually being the one to save Louis wasn't totally unexpected but tbh Armand kinda had me fooled. Not in this really but like I thought he was a passive participant of the trial like he just didn't intervene and not that he was the fucking director??

And now I'm not sure if he just didn't love Louis as much as we thought or if he was actually that much of a coward. Probably the second one tho, given how much he did to secure Louis' love (gaslight, lie, change memories... you know totally normal stuff) and how afraid he is to be losing it now.

Louis fucking Armand up even if it's just a little is great, I have been waiting for it. Go away Armand and think about what you did. (I love you so much but nope rn you're not staying)

And then Louis goes to New Orleans and meets Lestat at his lowest and omg my heart hurts (thank god for "siri pause" it made me laugh)

And their conversation about Louis' turning and Claudia and San Francisco and the hurt and the tears and the little voice cracks and there I was crying too. With every word I wanted to push them together so that they would fucking hug and then they finally did and I know they'll be alright (as alright as one can be in this situation)

Then the tv thing gave me fucking whiplash like lmao. Fictional memoir my ass. Don't you disrespect my boy Daniel like that. Speaking of, Daniel has been turned. OMFG? Like I knew he would eventually and I knew it would be Armand but I didn't expect it now??? And we didn't see it but fingers crossed we get it later.

And there must be something more to it, Armand with his disgust wouldn't turn him just out of anger, so there must've been another reason (Devil's minion or maybe to save his life idk)

Louis in his tower alone (? Lestat is getting ready for tour I hope) and he knows that they are after him. But he owns the night. Powerful shit. He might have a death wish also idk.

I just. Am done. This was something else and there was a lot of it and my mind is still spinning a little.

Everyone who worked on this show deserves the world and the actors even more so and I need the next season like yesterday.

[shortstrawberryshake]

We are so fuckeddd, I know Horikoshi is fucked up because he's got me wishing to not see Touya again, I never thought anybody could make me wish to NOT see Touya.

[purpleglitch]

Oughh sui joke

Joining Christmas exchanges fearing for my life for what's about to come for the next 3 weeks I'm about to kill myself, girl with 0 motivation for finals, I'm fuckeddd

edit while im at it: like it's funny, i sometimes want someone to find my vent blog and see my ask for help but at the same time the thought makes my skin crawl and it's so funny when someone checks up on me when im feeling so awful and my reply is "yeah im good :3 hbu" girl stop deflecting omfgggg i cant do it

[marystaceylala]

It’s so easy to get swept up by the words of others . I have a deep desire to worship and believe in idols .. I love idolatry and being a follower

I also love leaving an impression on others so preach to others in my own way which is so fuckeddd

I love to leave impressions but am so impressionable at the same time.

being around other people feels blurry

[scucharlie]

ZUEN... Zuen............. Zuen is so fucked up in the head literally so fucked up, he cursed himself to madness by his own hands and he did something so profoundly bad but like it was simultaneously to spare his loved ones the torment of living in an unfulfilled cycle. EVERYTIME i think about all the celestials i get so fucked up u dont even KNOW theyre so messed up. theyre all so unbelievably horrible but theres still some ounce of humanity in their hearts, they clearly all loved each other. not even a celestial systematically killing them one by one could cause them to muster any hatred. like blood is thicker than water. I'm like GAHHH NOOO DON'T .... Dont have me think abt the Pram and the oher celestials ill go wild. Obssessed with all of them what's wrong with their heads <333

ZUENN GODM HES SO FUCKED UP AND SILLY. I love characters who are the doom of their selves... I love characters who are the reasons for their own doom...andheeee he killed the others to not see his fate....AUGH

THE OTHERS ARE SO FUCKED UP TOO GODD I LOVE THE GODS. They're all just humans turned into gods... they're like ppl!!!!! they love they have hobbies!!! they distrust eachother!!! they are PEOPLE!! fucking ELOTOL TAUNTED PETERS DEAD FRIEND IN FRONT OF HIM??? can we talk Abt that that was FUCKEDDD fucking freak slash pos

I think Abt the gods relationship w their human like,, I don't Think that was touched upon too much unless u count eletol dragging terens body arojnd but like HDJJJSHRGRRR ITS ALL SONINTERESTIBG CONDIFICTION I BEG YOUU PLEASE CAN WE CAN A GOD QNA PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL

I am crazzyyy abt them, exsp zuen bBUT all the gods <3 hold a special place in my heart like hhhdhdgdhhdhdh I think they're so interesting in concept of taking someone and then turnibg them into unlimited power, and they are people but they are stuck in this loop meant to be killed. andni don't???? Know if the other godsnknow this????? like are they TOLD? what about the other gods before the main cast in apotheosis one... what happened then??? the doom of the world was bc zuen just . Got bored, and hhdgdhdh I'm insane basically I NEED TO REWATCH APOTHEOSISS SO BAD FOR THE LOVE OF HOD BRAIN

[meet-at-tycho]

ahem.

no i fucking adore them both like WOW.. their laughter, i remember? one time i joined call with them and they were laughing when i joined from a joke and. it was the most beautiful sound in the whole world like i nearly dropped dead on the spot. it feels embarrassing to love them so much? but i do i really do!!!! like SORRY.. i cant help it, ive never been happier alright the least i could do is express it. its.

IT IS EMBARRASSING THOUGH, whenever im lonely i just pretend theyre with me. when im downstairs i talk quietly, to myself but in my head im telling them what im thinking about and my opinion on which fnaf game is truly the best okay like. when i sleep at night i pretend we have a sleep over because i think thats so sweet!!! infected my mind like a fucking PLAGUE actual vermin alright. SICKENING

i KNOW its. i know its weird and probably unsettling honestly but. ITS JUST HOW I COPE OKAY theyre so far away from me, i dont know if ill ever get to see them, yknow? NO NIGHT ON THE TOWN WITH MY BESTIES..... BREAK MY HEART its the worst. this is how i cope with that 😞 IDK like

MAN i could go on and on and ON about it, the way im constantly having fun? and even when nothings happening at all, im just happy to be there. happy to share the silence with them, happy to listen to what they have to say, hear about their days, their feelings ETC like

theyre the kind of people you feel like youve known yr whole life yknow? people who have just cemented themselves in yr life so certainly, people who are imbedded in my soul right. I KNOW IM BEING SAPPY but im allowed okay im SAD.. i see them in all the things i do, i mutter their words to myself, im literally constantly saying i miss them in the middle of conversations with my sibling, they get annoyed BUT I DO...

yknow whats funny? anytime i go downstairs with my other friends on call i completely forget which ITS JUST IN MY NATURE alright once i focus on something else im GONE okay im coming back 45 minutes later one of thems gone the other one is asleep like. OOPS.. i was analyzing fnaf to my sibling thats my bad. but with them? its at the top of my mind. cant stay and talk longer, need to go back upstairs they are waiting for me!!!

i think its cuz.. to me, every single moment is precious. admittedly i am still scared to lose them, its just.. instinct at this point. i want to remember every day i spend with them, every conversation and. GRRRRR. i love them so much 🥳🥳 THEY CALL ME CIRCUMBINARY THE WAY I BE ORBITING TWO PERFECT STARS like wow. OKAY...

arent i the luckiest guy in the world? to have not one, but TWO people who understand me so deeply, who go out of their way to know me, to spend time with me ? it makes me tear up when i think about it IM FUCKEDDD man its so over for me. ive always been an outcast, feel like i never fit anywhere but. i fit HERE, this is where i belong!!! thats how they make me feel every single day :]

knowing them has me seeing sunshine and rainbows for the first time in my entire life like. i worked fucking hard, i got myself out of hell but after that i was alone again... not anymore!!! happy.. im happy. all theyve had to do was be here and im more than content, all they had to do was EXIST!!!

stars align in the weirdest ways, but im glad they did 🥳🥳🥳 peace and love on the planet earf

[whatifdog]

so - as expected, learning a lot about myself as well as dogs

I'm realizing that when i'm excited about something (new program, new hobby, whatevs) I put a lot of pressure on myself to Do It Great. I over-study, get overwhelmed and don't realize I'm juiced up on anxiety. I definitely got in my head about training. I did come across some real shit advice but to be fair a big part of it is the nature of the medium - YouTube videos just have a lot of OH SHIT UH OH! energy. it's very DoN'T FUcK Up OR YoU WiLL BE sOOO FuCKEddd

I'm reading a lot of Turid Rugaas to steer back into a happy lane. She's so reasonable

[maddyguru]

Omg like what is wrong with some of these anons. Like u put warnings and the keep reading tab and they still on ur ass⁉️ like guess who doesn’t have a life lol. Anyways, you’re doing a great job with dealing with the hate and I hope it doesn’t demotivate u. Honestly, idk what’s wrong w ppl wishing rape and death upon u. Like that’s fuckeddd up. Considering you’re writing fiction about fictional characters. Sorry to burst ur bubble but geto sama is unfortunately not real so he doesn’t give af about how u write him lollll. What I find works the best is deleting hate comments and blocking the anons from sending asks.

And of course they’re anons bc they don’t have the ballz to send it with their user. Goes to show all these bitches are all bark, no bite. If they were mature, they would block you and move on with their day without wishing rape and death upon u. Like srs get a life, a job, a hobby ect

I hope you’re doing okay 🫶😽 every dark blog gets that initial hate but once u find ur ppl it gets better 🫶🫶

I've been writing dc contents since i was 18 years old, on ao3. Migrated to tumblr in 2021 and since then I've been writing for both platforms up until this day. And i just want to say, tumblr ppl is more brain dead. Ao3s are chill you rarely get hate over there.

Idc if they want me dead. I'm not dead yet 🤣 and i know maybe some ppl dislike the way i responded with the same violence but as a person, i think i very much deserve to be hateful towards bitches who can't stay away from things they dislike and then harass you for it. I think I'm fucking great.

So yeah. I hope my followers know what type of person i am; the person who will become unhinged when you too shows no respect for me. My family raised me to be respectful, but i raised myself to be respectful only for ppl who truly deserve it and stand for myself no matter what. If any of you think I'm evil for responding the way i am, i do not care. I am evil. Have you seen the shits I've written?

Back then, i always delete and blocked. But now, I've had enough. You want to be disrespected so bad? Fine let's do it.

Also, gege akutami is an incest enthusiast himself I'm, pretty sure he's proud of me for writing these dark fics ajd he WISHED he made geto r*pe his own sister after he killed his parents 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

[myrfing]

imo wanting to be a human and acting like it makes you human or something close enough to where the distinction isn’t really important when it matters. it’s hard to define exactly what “being human” is. if something shaped like a horse spoke and communicated and felt exactly like a human being would I think it would be difficult to treat it like it couldn’t feel human pain or love or whatever human experiences are. like as a horse moreso than a person. so when people write stories that are like “It would be FUCKEDDD UPPP if something that WASNT HUMAN…WANTED TO BE HUMAN!!! IT WOULD FUCK EVERYTHING UP” or in a very similar vein “what if something WANTED to be a GIRL or wanted to be a BOY when it WASNT it would be GROTESQUE and lead to societal DOWNFALL” im like To be real man I dont get it. 👍 And I think it sucks

[mefilas]

sooo done with this fuckass website half of my mutuals posts only show up on that for you page that I never use that's so fuckeddd