#so fuck every other mega star that stays silent

[skiitter]

Hozier (and his incredible opener Allison Russel) gave a beautiful speech about Gaza and a free Palestine and a ceasefire and stressed the upmost importance of hope and of empathy at the show last night. It was literally so beautiful and powerful and important so why the fuck can’t Taylor Swift or Beyoncé or any of the other mega stars be fucked to do the same thing?

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Love You Like a Tattoo

BTS

Jeon Jungkook/Reader [F]

Genre: Soft Badboy-ish AU, Fluff (Overwhelming Amounts), Drabble-ish

Words: 2.8k

~~~~~~~~~~

Summary: No one really believes in Jungkook’s girlfriend.  Living in a small town far out of the busy city of Seoul and depicted as the spectrum opposite of Jungkook himself.  He’s covered in tattoos, piercings anywhere he could get them and smokes like he doesn’t care if he loses a lung.  So, when he finds out you’ll be staying Seoul for the summer, he is insistent you stay with him.  Now, he eagerly awaits your arrival after such a long time.  

-Or-

Jungkook is fucking ready to see his favorite girl bc he’s mega-whipped. (Also rubbing in his friend’s face that she is- in fact- a real person and not some imaginary gf he made up is on his bucket-list)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Holy shit, really?!” Jungkook who was sitting in the garage with his buddies practically screamed into the phone call he was on.  His friends who sat in a small, not so even, circle around a trash bin with a fire in it silenced as they all flicked their eyes over to him.  The Spring- nearly Summer- air hit the group with a crummy blanket of moisture that the fire burned away.  The garage door open as they sat located on the edge of a suburban area of the city. 

Ashtrays of grey and white and brown cigarettes, a wide selection of brands in which each boy chose to favor. Lighters from bright yellow disposable lighters to metal Zippo’s sat snug in the pockets of each boy.  A can of beer or cola in someone’s hand at all times. 

Jungkook had excused himself from a conversation about the next piercing one of his friends- Taehyung was going to get that shifted from a conversation about trying to talk Hoseok into finally getting a tattoo.  Hoseok was shockingly the cleanest skinned boy with only a few ear-piercings to his name. He almost got a septum piercing but wussed out at the last minute. 

He moved from the corner of the garage to the outside, stepping into the moist, damp air that almost teased a rain shower later into the night.  He leaned against the outside wall, phone held to his ear with his tattoo-covered arm. Pushing anxiously at the stub pierced through his tongue with the roof of his mouth. 

“You’re serious, right?  You’re not trippin’ on me because I will literally fight you if you’re pulling some prank, girlfriend or not.” 

“Did you cry when we Skyped like a week ago because I stubbed my toe on my dresser?” 

“You kicked it so hard your toenail started bleeding!” He defended as you laughed on the other line. You, his girlfriend of 3 years laughing at him. Jungkook just huffed, a smile on his lips as he shook his head. “Okay, fine.  I won’t fight you, but I’ll throw stuff at you.  What’s soft to throw?  Flowers maybe?” 

“What a charmer,” you told him. 

“I try really hard just for you,” he snickered.  Jungkook stayed silent as you told him about your plans to travel from your small little town on the coast to Seoul for the summer.  You told your folks that since you wanted to go to the University of Seoul once you finally racked up enough money, that you wanted to test the waters of city life.  

Of course, there was still a lot you had to prepare for.  Temporary living arrangements, means of travel (you’d probably walk to take a bus everywhere), estimates of how much money you’d need to actually survive a summer in Seoul, etcetera.  You had thought about calling the cheapest hotel you could find and trying to negotiate a reasonable rate for such a long stay. 

“Just stay with me, babe,” Jungkook sighed into the phone.  “It’s just me in that apartment, I don’t mind sharing.” 

“I totally forgot you moved out of your mom’s place!” You exclaimed as he just let out a fit of small giggles.  “If you really don’t mind, could I bunk with you?  I’ll pull my weight, I promise!” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes.  “Wow, do I want my girlfriend living with me?  Hmm, that’s a toughie,” he reached into his pocket, grabbing his nearly empty pack of cigarettes with his lighter inside.  Pulling one, white toxic stick and placing it between his lips, he pushed his phone to his cheek with his shoulder as he cupped around the bud and flicked his lighter.  Waiting to make sure the wind wouldn’t snuff out the flame and it would actually light.  

Taking a drawl from it, he pushed his air out.  Watching as a puff of grey smoke wafted into the dusk air.  Sun nearly out of sight behind the identical houses as the sky threatened a navy hue with clouds scattered around like cotton balls. Breathing through his nose he sighed.  It was definitely going to rain tonight.  

You laughed sarcastically through the phone as he faintly heard your mom calling you down to eat something.  He scowled a bit, knowing how late it was at the moment and you hadn’t eaten yet.  

“Coming!” You shouted to your mom as you started talking to Jungkook again.  “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Tell me when you’re coming into town, okay?  You can stay with me and we can work everything out after that.” 

“Okay, I will.” Jungkook could hear the smile in your voice and he wished you had Facetimed him instead of a phone call so he could see it. 

“I miss you,” he told you before you were ready to cut the call.  Him hearing you roll out of bed, abandoning your books he was sure was sprawled on your bedspread. 

“I miss you too.  I’ll see you soon though,” you reassured. 

“You better.” 

It was a few minutes later when Jungkook was walking back into the garage, taking one last drawl of his smoke as he flopped himself down into his cheap, folding-camping chair.  Snuffing out his cigarette in a glass ashtray that almost needed to be emptied, he took a can of iced soda from a small cooler at his side and chugged a good half of it. A hefty blech following. 

“Is Loverboy done talking to his girlfriend?” Hoseok teased in a mocking tone.  Jungkook rolled his eyes.  His friends were solely convinced Jungkook was fibbing about his relationship and you altogether.  Not having seen you before and being so different from him; they all called bullshit. 

Jungkook flipped a solid middle finger at his friend as he erupted in stomach laughed, kicking his knees up as he stomped.  Jungkook craned his neck back, letting it hang as he starred at the white garage ceiling. 

“Girlfriend phone call or not,” Namjoon started as he finished his second can of beer for the evening, “what was the fuss about?  You yelled then went outside?  Hiding something maybe?” His smirk on his face was so obviously screaming ‘did you go outside to talk about your fake relationship away from us?’ and it made Jungkook was to throw his stupid beer car at his head.

“I’m not hiding anything,” he hissed.  He kicked his boot covered feet up, stretching them out as his heels bounced on the concrete floor.  “Y/n was talking to me about what she’s going to do when she comes down this summer,” he casually announced with a relaxed wave of his hand.  

There were approximately 4 seconds of silence before his friends were shouting or bounding from their camping chairs or crates they sat on and rushing to his side.  Grabbing him or his chair, nearly knocking him out of it.  He braced himself, tucking his boots back under his chair to stable it as he straightened his back. 

Voices of his friends bombarding him with questions of when you’re coming, for how long, why and if they’d get to meet him.  It was only an hour later that Jungkook literally had to run to the nearest bus station to get away from his friend’s just to go home. So much for having a drunk night in the garage. 

2 weeks later and Jungkook was dressed in a too expensive Adaias white shirt, black lining the edges and black strips running down his shoulders in a trio. The shirt leaving his arms open for everyone to see his tattoo littered arms and watch strapped around his left wrist. Tucked into his black jeans that run down the thick of his thigh to the slim of his calf.  His boots hitting his shin as the short strings remained untied to accommodate for his jogging. His hair was curled and wavy  from the humidity as his bangs hit his eyes. 

He jogged his way to the train station, descending the stairs from the streets to the underground railways.  Hoping down from step to step, careful to mind his footwork before he was waving between people.  It was still early in the morning, only 8 and the crowd wasn’t completely awful yet. 

Stopping and leaning against the back wall in front of your station and out of every other person’s way, he gathered his breath.  His heartbeat in his chest, but not entirely from his run here.  He wanted time to speed up so he could see and feel you that much soon.  He pulled his phone from his (unfairly deep) jean pocket and shot you a text. 

Jungkook: I’m here. Look for a handsome tattooed stranger when you step off. 

You: I was taught never to talk to strangers. 

Jungkook chuckled at your response, shaking his head as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.  His smile he wore not wiping away once as he grew giddier with each ticking second the giant clock above his head let pass. 

30 minutes later and he was watching your train screech to a halt.  Listening to the hydraulic-powered doors hissing open before he was scanning through the push and pull crowd of people.  

“Jungkook!” He heard you before he saw you. Though he quickly locked onto your frame, dragging a suitcase behind you, another slung around your back and wearing an impossibly brightly colored rainbow-striped shirt that tucked only into the front of your black shorts.  

He laughed as he went towards you before he was barreling into your front, knocking you back a few steps as he lifted you to your toes.  Arms under you and around your waist, he shook you around like a doll as he pushed his face into your hair.  A few older adults stopped to awe before moving on and a few even sent eye-rolls from such public affection.  

He put you back down as he kept his hands on your waist, thumbing over your shirt and smiling down at you to the point his cheeks ached.  “God, I missed you,” he murmured as he pushed his lips to your forehead.  You giggled as you started convincing him to move and actually leave the station. He agreed, but only after he grabbed your rolling suitcase in one hand and snatched your hand in his other. 

Jungkook leads you to his apartment as you both step inside. Dragging your suitcase into and up out of the entrance landing, Jungkook wheels it away as he kicks off his loose, untied boots.  You untied your own hightops- a gift from Jungkook on your birthday- as you were soon up and following after him as he took off with your suitcase hostage. 

He entered his room, flicking on the light.  You looked around. “It’s so weird not seeing it through your computer webcam.” Jungkook chuckled as he collapsed the handle to your suitcase and lifted it onto his bed before unzipping it.  You dropped your backpack as well. You stopped him before he could start digging through your stuff to help you unpack. 

“What,” he laughed.  “Afraid I might see your Hello Kitty panties?” You opened your mouth in a fake offense as you were quick you bring your ankle up, yank off your sock and throw it at him. “Hey! It’s too early for nasty sock wars!” He soon was sitting out in the hallway, waiting for your all clear to come in and actually help unpack.  He laughed as he heard you murmuring inside about how your Hello Kitty panties happened to be very cute. 

Jungkook had previously cleared out two of his dresser drawers for your unmentionables and PJs for your visit.  Also separating his closest down the middle.  Left side for him and right for you, a hanging cubby for shoes in the center for the divider. When you called for him, he went and helped you unpack your clothes, some in which he commented that he hadn’t seen before.  

You embarrassingly admitting to shopping for new clothes just before coming here to show off.  You wanted to look nice since you’d be with him for so long.  He just cooed as he kissed the top of your head.  

Makeup, shampoo, conditions, skin and hair treatments, slippers, medicine, toothbrush, hairbrush- all sorts of your things soon filled his apartment along with his.  Seeing it all, it felt so much more like home.  

It was 10 when everything was said and done and Jungkook was sat on the couch in the living room. The morning sun bright as it came through the balcony window.  You were in the kitchen, or leaving it now, with a water bottle.  The cold bottle chilling your hand as Jungkook called you. 

“Y/n,” he whined as he sat slouched.  You trotted over to him as he reached for you like a child.  “Come here,” he told you.  

“Wait a minute,” you told him with a smile as he just shook his head. He sat up quickly, grabbing around your waist and leaning back, taking you back and down with him.  Falling beside him on the couch as he pulling your legs over his lap.  Interlocking his fingers around your stomach, he leaned on your shoulder, the crown of his wavy brown hair pushing into your cheek. 

“I’ve waited long enough,” he lowly whispered.  Keeping his head tucked into your neck, he closed his eyes.  Finally able to sit and bask in the scent, warmth, and presence that is you, he was blissful.  He had missed you so much and he hated the fact that you lived so far off.  If Jungkook didn’t have such a good job here, he probably would've moved to you.  Though, you told him numerous times to stay here- stay where he knows best.  

He relaxed so completely as you traced along the tattoos crawling up his neck and disappearing down his back under his shirt. You giggled as he nuzzled into your further, moving to wrap his arms around your tighter and bring you closer.  

“You’re warm,” he murmured.  

“You are too,” you told him back, brushing your fingers into his hair and rubbing his neck.  You both sat like this for hours.  Talking about small things, sitting in silence and basking in each other until you had drifted off into a nap as Jungkook sat you against his chest to snooze.  

Occupying himself with his phone (and sneaking a few pictures of you too), he was soon being paged by Jimin at the tattoo parlor he worked at.  Sending a reminder that even if you were coming into town, he still had to work.  He had 3 tattoo appointments lined up for the afternoon, not mention what walk-in jobs they may have. 

He told him he’d be in, but that there was a 100% chance he was going to bring you along with him.  Jimin didn’t argue, waiting eagerly to meet the Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend.  The squeaky clean sweetheart. 

He woke you up 10 past noon as you groaned and shook your head, trying to will away the bully who is trying to wake you up.  He just chuckled as he blew in your ear, making your shiver and cover it up before he was pinching your nose. 

He laughed when you opened your eyes and swatted his hand away, scowling at him and not the least bit threatening to look at.  The receiving end of what you called a glare was just utter cuteness in the eyes of your boyfriend. 

“Time to wake up, I have to go to the parlor today and you’re-” he poked your cheek- “coming with me.” 

“Okay?  Why am I coming to work with you?” 

Jungkook hummed as he pats your thigh as you moved to get off him, stretching.  “Well, two reasons.  One, I missed you.” He extended one finger before extending a second. “Two, my friend works there and he and the rest of my friends all believe you don’t exist.” 

“Excuse me?” You bit back a smile, cheeks between your molars.

“They think I made up some fake girlfriend story because I was single for so long.”  You busted out in laughter, holding your stomach as he just rolled his eyes and got up off the couch.  

“That’s ridiculous!” You cheered as you got up too, trailing after him to the door as you both slipped on your shoes.  Jungkook weaving your fingers together before leaving and keeping them together until he walked into the parlor, the bell signaling his arrival.  

The look in Jimin’s face when he saw that Jungkook really did have a girl hanging off his arm was priceless.  It wasn’t too much later he called all the guys over and you were introduced to them one by one as Jungkook’s girlfriend, Y/n. 

[gotbts7fics]

Positive | ONE |

One | February 2017 | Two |

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” You mumbled as you stared at the two little lines on the stick. The test was just confirmation on what you suspected for the last few weeks. The nausea, sensitive boobs, and the lack of period was the final straw that forced you to pee on the stick, now sitting in your hand. This was deja vu from 8 years ago when you found out you were pregnant at eighteen. Grabbing the phone, you quickly made a call to your best friend who was sure to not appreciate the time difference right now, but frankly, you didn’t care. This was an emergency!

“Pick up, pick up, oh my fucking good pick up the fucking phone!!” yelling into the mouth piece willing the call to be answered.

“Jesus fucking christ” A sleepy voice said on the other end. “You realize its two in the morning here right? Did you forget Ontario is fourteen hours behind you?”

“Bree, I’m pregnant” You were met by silence from the other end of the phone.

“I’m sorry what?”

“I’m pregnant….”

”HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! How did this happen?”

“Really? You need to know how this happened? I swallowed a watermelon seed….. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THIS HAPPENED?” screeching as you buried your head in your hands.

The line went silent for another minute.

“What are you going to do?” Bree asked.

“I honestly don’t know.”

It had been forty eight hours since your phone call home. Forty eight hours since your world went into complete and utter chaos. Moving to South Korean just over 3 years ago at the age of 24, with a then 5year old, left everyone thinking you were crazy. Fresh out of university and after a painful breakup, moving not across the country but over an ocean, with a little human to heal your broken heart. You had quickly settled into your new home, and job, Jaidyn doing the same with school. She adapted very well and made friends within the first day. Everything had fallen into place, which is why when you met a young man who flashed you a devilish smile after literally running smack dab into his chest at a coffee shop, you didn’t hesitate to say yes to a coffee date. His name was Jaebum, he spoke broken English, liked cats and you two shared the same birthday. The only difference was he was four years younger than you, which he promised was not an issue, language barrier and all, considering your Korean really was just memorized lines from dramas. Reeling from the heart ache you had been inflicted with, you figured having a bit of fun was just what you deserved. A coffee date turned to a dinner date, dinner date turned into 5 dinner dates, which turned into lazy nights at home hanging out with the two of you and your daughter. He was wonderful, charming and handsome, a complete package. Then you learned he wasn’t as simple as you first thought. He finally told you he was in the entertainment business and that left him busy a lot of the time as his career took off. Still he always made you feel loved and always followed through with promises he made. He made his career first priority, yet he never made you feel second to it, even as he grew in popularity. You loved him so much, you would do anything for him and you strove to make your relationship work. As the years passed, you had learned to accept the challenges of dating in secret with him. Everything was just easy with him, you understood how busy he was and he likewise understood cancelled dates last minute because you had a child. The relationship you two shared was incredibly simple and easy, making it work the best you could. Now you weren’t so sure. Jaebum was touring with his music group in Japan and here you were staring at a pregnancy test. You were going over every night of passion you had with him, tangled in the sheets with sweaty bodies pressed together, in your head. You were on birth control, you used condoms, you did everything to protect yourself and not ruin his career with an accidental pregnancy. Yet here you are, just celebrated your 27th birthday, a 7 year old and 23 year old mega star idol boyfriend whose career was about to be over because of you. You felt more lost than when you found out you were pregnant at 18 with your high school sweetheart who decided cheating was okay, broke your heart and left. More devastated than when your relationship with your last boyfriend ended because after two years he decided he didn’t want the responsibility that came with your child anymore. You honestly didn’t know what to do. Did you simply just terminate the pregnancy, did you tell him and still terminate, was there even a small chance you could keep the pregnancy. No, no there wasn’t. This would ruin his career. A career he shared with six other hard working men who didn’t deserve this scandal. You wanted to cry, you really wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but your daughter was due home any minute and being it Friday night, it was mommy daughter date night. There was no time to cry.

Seventy two hours after that phone call found you on your couch, sobbing into your friends arms. For some reason she thought the most logical thing for her to do was jump on a plane, travel thirteen plus hours and bust through your door. Jaidyn conveniently was at a sleep over with her friend Soohyuk. So you had the next 16 hours to ball your eyes out until she came home. It was during a moment of silent tears, with the TV on some variety show in the background, cold pizza in front of you, that you decided,

“I’m not going to tell him” You confessed, tears streaming down your face while you desperately tried to console your broken heart.

“You have to tell him” Bree insisted, a concerned look on her face.

“No, I don't” you deadpanned.

“What are you going to do? Not tell him, and hope he doesn’t notice how fat you’re getting? Cause I saw pictures of you with Jaidyn, you’re going to look like you swallowed a beach ball” Bree said rolling her eyes, shoving a slice of pizza into her mouth.

“I’m not telling him, I am going to break up with him” It was a strong statement. One you said with such conviction that Bree looked at you quizzically.

“Y/N, even if you break up with him, he’s going to find out. You have mutual friends. You can’t hide a pregnancy. What do you plan to do? Just disappear, run home to Canada?” It was comical, because in that moment Bree snapped her head towards you, realization etched on her face, as the light bulb went off.

“No y/n…. NO! You can’t do that to him! Hell, you can’t even do that to yourself” You looked at her through wet, red eyes.

“I honestly don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong in this situation. I love him, Bree. I love him so fucking much it hurts. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love again after Matt, but I did. And it hurts, it hurts so much. I don’t want to wreck his career. I can’t, no I won’t do that to him. But this baby, this is my baby. I can’t not have my baby. It was such an easy decision to keep Jai. I didn’t even think twice. And here I am, actually thinking twice. I’m a terrible mother. I don’t deserve my babies.” You felt terrible, so you started sobbing again, because quite frankly it was all you were currently good at.

“Babe, don’t think like that” Bree said as she put her pizza down and wrapped her arms around you.

“Whatever you want to do, I support you. You’re a fantastic mother. Look at how happy my niece is. You’ve sacrificed so much for her. You’ve gone to college and university. You’ve worked and dealt with her dick head of a biological father. You refused to give up when you and Matt didn’t work out. Honey, you’re the best damn mother and friend I know. You love with your whole heart and deserve the world. I know you love Jaebum more than you can explain. I think he will understand. It’s been three years with him. If after three years he shuts you down, this baby down, then he doesn’t deserve you one bit.” She breathed her words into your hair. She wanted you to calm down and think rationally while you figured this out.

“That’s the problem Bree, I think he will throw his career away for this baby. I can’t let him do that. He loves Jaidyn so much already. He does everything with her. He refers to her as his own. Imagine if he actually has a baby. He’s worked to hard. It will ruin him. I can’t ruin him.” You sobbed. The whole in your heart growing with each word you said. The feeling of the most beautiful relationship in your life ending because of the love you have. It was ironic, ending a relationship because you loved someone.

“Okay, look. Let’s get some sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow, or next tuesday. I am staying here for a few weeks. We can figure this out. I love you eh.” She said pulling you up to your feet and leading you to bed.

“Thanks, I love you too” You replied, tears finally stopping for the night. It was like you were in university all over again. Having her stay with you because you were heart broken and couldn’t stand to be alone. Only this time it hurt so much more.

“How did you even manage it?” Bree asks as she eats cereal the next morning.

“Like, he’s so famous. How do fans not know you’re dating… let alone been dating for three years. I don’t understand” You looked at her with your spoon hanging out of your mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m foreign. The fans think I am just a foreign friend with a kid. It’s not like we make out in public. And Jai is always around. Not to mention other members are with us in public. I probably don’t seem like someone he would be with.” you said going in for another bite. Now that you thought of it, it was true. No one really questioned your relationship with Jaebum. Which, considering how popular GOT7 had gotten, someone should have taken notice. You were consumed by your thoughts when, fuck, you thought. Rushing out of your chair and running to the toilet. Whatever cereal you had consumed was now staring you back in the face from the inside of the porcelain thrown. This was getting ridiculous.

“I hate pregnancy” You said out loud

“No you don’t, you always said you missed it. You just hate the gross parts of it. Puking, constipation, weird hair growing in weird places” Bree appeared, leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, cereal bowl in hand.

“I just threw up, and you’re eating breakfast still?” You asked sitting cross legged and leaning against the wall.

“You’re joking right, like you’re aware I am a cop. This….” she gestured towards you and the toilet with her spoon “This is child’s play bitch.” You couldn’t help but laugh. She was right, she had seen and smelled worse, this was nothing to her.

Later that afternoon, as you waited for your daughter to come home, you finally checked your phone after god knows how long. Bree arriving had kept you so busy you didn’t even touch it, instead balling your eyes out to your best friend who flew half way around the world for you.

[4:34pm] Jaebum <3: Hey babe, I miss you. I hope my girls are doing well. 5 more days until I can hug you!!!! [6:45pm] Jaebum <3: Rude, not even a msg back, fine… I’m going to buy Jai a phone. At least she will tell me how much she misses me. [11:42pm] Jaebum <3: Love you baby, have a good night.

It didn’t matter if you didn’t reply, he knew you loved him. You had always sucked at texting anyways, so your silence didn’t even give him an inkling that something was wrong.

[9:02am] You: I love you Jaebum, forever and always, please remember that. I miss you. 

It physically hurt you to send him that message. You loved him so much, but you knew your time was slowly running out.

“So, when does Jaebum get back to Seoul” Bree asked while you were cooking dinner on the Monday night after she had arrived. She was sitting at the kitchen table with Jaidyn, helping her with her homework.

“Wednesday? Yeah, I think on Wednesday.” You replied as you stirred the pasta sauce.

“JB Appa comes home tomorrow maman, he told me he comes home on Tuesday.” Jaidyn piped up, looking from her homework towards the two older women.

“You forgot didn’t you… well he comes home tomorrow!! That means Aunty Bree can finally meet him, and BAMBAM. You’ll love BAMBAM Aunty Bree. He is SOOOOOO funny” She said, going back to her math homework.

“Why is this math so hard” Bree mumbled as she looked at the problem the second grader was doing.

“Just be thankful she goes to the french international school, and not the Korean school I work at” You laughed, math was the enemy for both of you. Math in french was still manageable, math in Korean not so much.

You and Bree looked at each other and laughed, barely hearing the knock at the door, until it was done more forcefully. Abandoning the sauce you made your way to open the door. The next second found you wrapped in the arms of a handsome man, lips attached to yours, as he carried you back into the apartment and shutting the door with a swift kick of his foot.

“Hi” He said finally detaching his lips, looking at you.

“Um, wow.. Hi” You said looking up into his eyes. You loved his eyes. They were your favourite part of his appearance. The two little moles above his left eye always captivated you. Would this baby have his eyes. Shit, you thought slightly wincing as your stomach did a summer sault.

“Surprise, I missed you. You’ve been so busy, I haven’t heard much from you these past few weeks.” Jaebum said hugging you once more.

“I’m making pasta, are you hungry?” you asked, your mind going this way and that. You were not ready to face him. You had to keep calm, but the nausea was bubbling to spill over and force you to empty the nonexistent contents of your stomach.

“JB Appa!!!!! You’re home early!!!!!!!!” Jaidyn screeched, running full force towards the arms of the man in front of you.

“Oh how I’ve missed you! Were you good for your maman while I was gone?” He murmured into her hair as he hugged her tightly.

“Always” she smiled, hugging him back just as tightly.

“good…. oh hello” Jaebum looked up and saw Bree standing in the door frame of the kitchen. He sent you a look as if asking who this was. None of your friends had ever visited you in Korea, and he had met all of your Korean friends. His poor mind was trying to figure out who this was.

“Ahhhh… this is Bree.. My friend from university. She came for a surprise visit. She showed up on Friday.” Explaining why this seemingly random person was in your apartment.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you. Y/N has been bragging about you for a while now.” She said with a smile, holding out her hand. He shook it and gave her a polite nod.

“Okay lets have dinner” You looked at Bree, Jaebum put one hand on the small of your back and led you to the kitchen. Your seven year old still in his other arm, sitting on his hip. You shook your head. You always said she was too old to be picked up anymore, he always argued that he would continue to pick her up until she was taller than him. He’d been like that from the beginning, he loved to carry her when she was young. When he was away for more than a week he always seemed to carry her more upon returning. He had explained it was because he felt guilty for leaving her. He wanted her to know how much he loved her, from the moment you told him about her he stepped into this loving father role, it had melted your heart to see her loved so unconditionally.

Once everyone was back in the kitchen, Jaidyn cleared her homework and set the table. While everyone talked, small chit chat about school, work, Canada and his travels. You couldn’t help how proud you felt with how far his English had come. Although your Korean was much stronger than his English, he still was able to communicate with your friend openly. While you tried to pay attention, you were ultimately consumed by thoughts of this pregnancy. This secret pregnancy that was threatening to be exposed because the need to vomit up garlic bread was looming over you.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jaebum asked, noticing your less than normal commentary.

“Eh?… oh yeah. I’m okay. Sorry love, I just don’t feel very well.”

“Do you want to go to the doctor? Do you need me to get you some medicine?”He rose from his chair and heading towards the medicine cupboard.

“No, I’ll be okay. I just need to sleep. Are you staying tonight?” You asked, a little more hopeful that he wouldn’t.

“No, I’ll let you have time with Bree. Let me do the dishes and put Jaidyn to bed. Then I will tuck you in too. You girls can have a nice relaxing night.” He said with a smile. You controlled your expression, all you wanted to do was cry and fling yourself into his arms. Instead you smiled as you rose from your chair, kissing his cheek and made your way to the bathroom. You needed to splash cool water on your face.

A few hours later as you lay beside Bree, the emotions of the situation hit you again. You tried to silently cry yourself to sleep.

“Lets go to the doctor this week, k… We need to figure out how far you are.” Bree said with a sleepy voice. She didn’t open her eyes, but she threw her arm over you.

“Okay” You sniffled. You were running out of time and were feeling suffocated.

The ultrasound scan held in your hands confirmed you were roughly eight weeks pregnant, which meant you were going to have an October baby.

“My nephew’s birthday is in October, and my moms. Guess October is going to be busy” You sighed looking at Bree. She had kept her word and brought you to the doctors. She sat through the whole appointment, listening as intently as she could considering she didn’t understand more than two words in Korean.

“From my understanding, everything is okay, right?” She had asked as you made your way home.

“Yup, it’s funny. I am exactly where I was when I found out about Jai. You think I would know sooner, this being the second time around” Your heart was feeling heavy and you really wanted to eat your feelings.

“I mean, you’re busy and shit. I think this is normal” Bree said, taking a sip of the Starbucks in her hand. “So, I don’t want to be that friend, but like… have you thought about what you’re going to do?” She asked.

“I’m going to go home” You said while looking off in the distance.

“Okay, if you feel that is best, I will support you” Bree sighed heavily, neither of you had the right answer but this didn’t feel like it was the correct way to deal with it. “Just let me know when you’re going to come home. I’ll take time off and visit.”

“It’s going to suck, I am going to be so heartbroken. I can’t wreck him though. I can’t ruin his life. I love him so much” You brought your eyes to the ground, wrapping your arms around you, tears threatening to spill over again.

“I know babe, I know” Bree said, stepping forward and hugging you tightly.

[shannonisawitch]

God your latest fic about Victoria and Mc was so great! You can write one in which Mc has to make up for Victoria after an ugly fight? They even slept at separated rooms that night

Thank you so much!!

Ok, here’s my attempt at a Victoria fight. I tried writing out the fight and what went down, but I’m awful with confrontation myself, so had trouble writing dialogue for a fight. Thus, I hope it’s ok that this picks up after their big fight. Enjoy!! 

Victoria x Mc

This Feeling

Rain pattered against the window as the light of a candle sent shadows dancing across the walls. A record played quietly, the lyrics lost to Sage as she lay on the couch, thoughts drifting and chasing away sleep. Her heart was heavy in her chest, cheeks tingling from crying silently into the night.

Victoria’s words from earlier had cut deep, falling like broken glass to slice into her hammering heart. She herself had said some things she regretted, but the heat of the moment had overtaken the both of them. Now, she found herself on the couch, while Victoria had locked herself in their bedroom, hours ago. Sure, they’d had their petty fights here and there, but they never lasted long, were never this harsh.

A flash of lightning followed by a deep roll of thunder made Sage shiver, and she pulled her blanket tighter around her. Victoria loved storms; she’d pull Sage close in their bed and count the seconds between the lightning and thunder. She always said that after a storm is when the flowers bloom.

A pang went through Sage’s heart once again as she tried to remember what they were even arguing about. Victoria had seemed closed off to her all day, and Sage had told her she needn’t be such an ice queen. Safe to say, it had rocketed off from there. Letting down her walls and being openly vulnerable and caring was still new to Victoria, and Sage kicked herself for calling her out on it in all the wrong ways possible. Sure, they had talked it out before, having been in a steady relationship for over a year. However, living together was still something new, and Victoria had to realize that she didn’t have to hide from Sage.

Footsteps on the stairs pulled Sage from her thoughts, and she listened intently but remained snuggled under her blanket. Surprisingly, they didn’t walk past into the kitchen, but stopped by the couch.

“Really? Are you brooding by candle light?”

Sage clenched her jaw, not sure if she wanted to yell at Victoria some more or apologize at her feet.

“…I’m sorry, that’s not how I should have started.”

Still not looking at her, Sage watched the rain hit the window. “What do you want, Victoria?”

Victoria almost flinches but takes a deep breath. “Come to bed?”

It’s barely a whisper, and Sage wonders if she misheard her. She finally turns to look at her, and sees that Victoria stands awkwardly, hugging herself, eyes puffy from crying. Sage’s bitterness falls away at the sight.

“Are you sure you want me in the same room? I said some pretty mean things and I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No, no I’m sorry, I was such a bitch. You were right.”

Victoria tentatively sits on the edge of the couch. “I shouldn’t shut you out, Sage. I’m sorry.”

“I was a bitch to call you out so harshly. I’m sorry, I should’ve tried to just talk it out, but I acted foolish and let it escalate.”

Tears threaten to spill again, and Sage curses her emotions. “Come here.”

Victoria scoots beside her and lays down, her head resting on one arm while the other brushes Sage’s hair out of her face, the two of them impossibly close on the small couch. “I’m so sorry, babe.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just next time don’t kick me out of bed. It’s cold down here.” Sage smiles weakly, tossing the blanket over Victoria so that it covers them both.

“Deal.” Victoria gives her a watery smile and they lapse into silence, emotion heavy in the air. The record continues to play, a new song starting, and Victoria’s smile broadens. “Your favorite song.”

“It reminds me of you,” Sage whispers. She runs her fingers through Victoria’s long hair as the song plays on, the soulful voice lulling them into a quiet calm. Sage cherishes these moments, when it’s just the two of them; moments where words weren’t needed, just soft touches, knowing smiles, and eyes alight with love. Even now, after their fight, she can see the love in Victoria’s eyes, feel her devotion with every light touch of her fingers. In a raging storm, she’s always been the calm. “I love you, Victoria. Nothing could ever change that. I want to make sure you know that.”

“I know. I love you so much, Sage. Don’t ever forget it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she replies, closing her eyes as she presses a kiss to Victoria’s soft lips.

“Can we go to bed now? It’s cold down here,” Victoria asks, resting her forehead against Sage’s.

“Yes please. We need to count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder.”

Victoria laughs softly as she untangles herself from Sage and the blanket, standing to stretch. She blows out the candle while Sage gathers the blanket and stands, shutting off the record. They lace their fingers together and walk up the stairs, Victoria pulling Sage into the bedroom. They collapse into bed, snuggling under the soft sheets and down comforter, Sage throwing her plush blanket over the both of them.

“This is much more comfortable than the couch,” Sage whispers into Victoria’s shoulder.

“If you behave, then you can stay in the bed.”

Sage gives a mock whine and tickles Victoria’s hip.

“Behave!” Victoria laughs, tossing a leg over one of Sage’s as she bats her hand away.

A clap of thunder sounds overhead, causing Sage to jump, and Victoria laughs again, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.

“It’s not funny! Fucking thunder.”

“Quick, count until the lightning!”

“You’re such a nerd.”

“Says the biggest nerd I know.”

Sage rolls her eyes and smirks, watching as a flash of lightning illuminates Victoria’s sharp features. “I’m glad we’re back to normal.”

“Yes…but I still want to talk about what happened. Or, I guess, why I am like I am, or whatever.”

“Of course. Whenever you’re ready, we can talk. I promise this time that I’ll just listen and be reassuring.”

“But if I’m a bitch, you better tell me.”

“I like when you’re a bitch. It’s sexy.”

“Well then let me know when I’m a mega bitch. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t take joy out of being harsh.”

“Deal. I’ve always got your back.”

“Thanks, babe, I know you do. More reason to love you. Can we go to sleep now, because I’m exhausted.” Victoria yawned, melding herself to Sage, her body a welcome warmth in the cold night. “Goodnight, Sage. I love you.”

“Goodnight, Victoria. I love you more than all the stars in the sky.”

“Sap,” Victoria whispers, kissing Sage’s brow. “Go to sleep.”

Sage smiles against her shoulder, kissing the soft skin as she closes her eyes. Exhaustion washes over her, and she relishes the feeling of having Victoria beside her, deciding then that she never wants to sleep on the couch again.

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Bad Things: Part 2

Pairings: Alpha!Negan x Omega Porn Star!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, sex slavery, mentioned abuse, medical emergency, seizure

Word Count: 4,344

A/N: I was going to write a nice, peaceful story for @ne-gans challenge… two adult actors fall in love, and it’s so beautiful….. But then this happened. And it’s fucking glorious. (I’m also not sorry.)

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were sitting on the upper deck, watching the yacht cruise across the Pacific Ocean, in silent shock. Your bother’s music and the sounds of all your friends partying echoed across the water as they celebrated the multimillion dollar contract Kels had just signed with Negan’s label. You wanted to join him and celebrate the good news as well, but something prevented that from happening. Fear of what Matthew could do to you once he found you. Fear of what he would do to your only family member, or your friends. Fear of what he could do to your mate.

“There you are.” Negan said softly as he came around the corner with a blanket, and a bottle of Dom Perignon on ice. “I was wondering where you had escaped to.”

“Not many places to hide.” You said as you adjusted your oversized sweater on your shoulders. “Though that’s not what I was intentionally doing, anyways.” He nodded and put the ice bucket in its holder before gesturing you forward.

“Come here, Omega.” He breathed as he sat down behind you and easily pulled you into his lap. He flicked the blanket out in front of you and pulled it up over your lap, making sure you were completely covered to block out the slight nip in the salty ocean air. As he kissed your temple and wrapped you in his arms, you let out a small sigh and shed a single tear at the gentleness of it.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” You whispered as you laid your head on his shoulder and curled into his chest. “It’s so weird how my life played out. One minute we were traveling all over the world with our parents, and the next thing you know, mom took off, we moved in with our aunt. Then the fighting started, dad took off, and Kels just kinda jumped off the deep end. My aunt was threatening every day to kick us out unless he got his shit together and before I knew it, I was on the streets.”

“I won’t let that shit happen to you again, baby girl.” Negan promised as he tilted his head to see your face.

“Negan, I’m scared.” You whispered as tears started to slide down your cheeks. “What if he…”

“He will never come near you again, Omega. I swear on my fucking life. My job, as your Alpha, is to protect you and I’ll be fucking damned if I fail at my fucking job. You will be safe. Period. No matter what.”

“But what about my brother?” You asked as hysteria started to slip in. “Or my friends. What if he goes after them?”

“He won’t be able to, ‘mega.” He soothed as he cupped your jaw in his large hand. “Hey, look at me. Take a deep breath.” You nodded your head and did what he asked. “Good girl.” He said with a nod as he mimicked taking another deep breath again. 

“Now, first of all, do you really think that fucking asshat is going anywhere near your fucking brother? That kid fucking stood up to me with full intention of knocking my ass out just for touching you. Do you think, now that he knows you’re fucking safe with me, that he’s gunna let your fucking manager come near him?” You shook your head as he fixed the blanket around your shoulders when a gust of wind blew across the deck. “And after what I heard he did to you, do you honestly think I would let him stay in fucking business so he can keep hurting other women the same fucking way?” You shook your head again, and curled into him a bit more to stay warm, and to feel the protection you needed. 

“No, I’m not gunna let that shit fucking happen. I don’t give a fucking fuck. As of today, my fucking label just branched out into fucking porn. Fuck it. Because I will fucking buy out every mother fucking contract I need to to protect men and women, no matter their fucking status, that are going through the shit you went through, baby girl. I don’t fucking tolerate people who exploit other people for their own benefit. That mother fucker has another fucking thing coming to him. I promise you that.” He searched your eyes and smiled as he ran his fingers through your hair and pulled it all back over your shoulders. “You’re OK now, baby girl. And fuck if I ain’t the luckiest fucking man in the entire world that you’re my Omega.” You choked on your laugh and quickly hid your face in his chest just as Kels came to find you.

“Hey!” He barked, causing you to sit up, and look over at him. “You havin’ a fucking drink with me or what? You’re being a shitty sister right now.” You smirked as you reached back to grab the bottle of champagne, and purposely popped the top right at him, hitting him directly in the chest.

“Congrats, Kels.” You said as you held the bottle away from you over the table so it didn’t get you or your Alpha. Your brother smiled, and nodded as he came over, flopped down on the long, ‘U’ shaped couch beside you, and passed you a joint. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Wanted to surprise you.” He said as he waited for you to pass back the joint before handing you one of the four glasses he had in his hands since he didn’t know how many people you were with. “Figured you’d be happy for me.”

“I am.” You said with a nod as you handed your Alpha his glass before leaning back into his chest for the warmth and taking the joint back. “But you lied to your baby sister, and that’s not very nice, Kels.”

“Boo hoo.” He teased as he stretched out across the couch, and looked up at the starry night sky. “Damn. This is some fucking first class living right here.”

“Takes a lot of fucking work.” Negan said as he rubbed your back softly, shaking his head when you offered him the smoke. “Lots of fucking hard work. But you’re on the right fucking track.” You nodded in agreement as Kels took a gulp of his drink.

“Had a lot to fight for.” He said as he looked over at you and took back the joint. “You and Casie.”

“How is my niece, anyways?”

“She’s good.” He smiled and looked over at you. “Excited to spend a few days on the bus with Auntie (Y/N).” You sighed and rolled your eyes with a smile as you took the joint one last time.

“Didn’t realize she was in town, too. You’re really fucking killin it, here, Coulson.”

“Bite me.” He said as he poured all three of you more champagne while you took a final drag. “Her moms is in town for work day after tomorrow. We’re picking up Casie from the airport on the way back to Cleveland.”

“Good. I got a bunch of new makeup she will have fun destroying.”

“Come on, now.” Kels said as he topped off his glass, traded you what was left of the joint for a cigarette, and got up to rejoin the party. “She’s fucking ten. My baby girl is a straight G when it comes to making up her face now. Bloom.”

“You a big smoker?” Negan asked as he pulled a Zippo lighter from his pocket to light your cigarette for you. You shook your head, and inhaled deeply.

“Not supposed to because of my contract.” You said as he knocked on the window of the wheelhouse and told whoever stepped out the door to bring you an ashtray. “I smoke when I’m with Coulson but not on a regular basis.” Negan nodded as he took the ashtray from his employee and set it on the table where you could reach it easily.

“I don’t want you living by that fucking contract any more.” He said as he pulled your hand toward him to take a drag of his own. “You wanna smoke, do it. You do whatever the fuck you wanna do, baby girl. And you’re coming off those fucking suppressants when you get back from Cleveland. I won’t have my Omega killing herself to hide who she is, you hear me?” You nodded your head as you ashed that cigarette before leaning into his chest again.

“Yes, Alpha.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, Casie. We got this.” You said as you pulled your ten year old niece on to your lap, despite the aching pains you had been feeling all day, so that both of you could see the TV to play Mario Kart against Kels, and his drummer, Rook.

“Oh, you two are fucking going down!” Your brother said as he grabbed his controller, and flopped down on the corner of the ‘u’ shaped couch that took up the whole back part of his tour bus.

“Nu uh!” Casie yelled as she looked up at you to make sure you could see around her giant, curly haired bun, and leaned back against your chest. “You’re gunna lose, dad!”

“Yea, dad!” You taunted as Rook came running back from the bathroom with his remote under his chin as fast as the moving bus would allow him. Kels threw a mini Oreo at your head and you whacked him in the arm as hard as you could as Casie picked her character, Peach, first, per the unofficial bus rules. Once she was locked in, you chose Mario before Rook could, Kels grabbed Bowser, and Rook finally settled on Yoshi.

“Alright, no fucking cheating.” You said with a glare over at your brother as your niece choose the track, another unofficial bus rule.

“You’re to talk!” Rook said as he sat in the only available spot between the two Baker kids, which was the worst seat on the bus when the pair of you were playing against each other. “You abusive little bitch.”

“You’re just mad you always get beat by the girls.” You said as the game started counting down. You held the controller in your left hand and not so subtly grabbed a pillow.

“Don’t do it!” Rook shouted as the game started and you and your brother both whacked each other and poor Rook with a pillow. He growled, and tried to duck as you shoved your brother into the wall of the bus as he tried to catch up to his daughter on the screen.

“Go, Casie, go!” You cheered as you grabbed your remote, and took off across the track.

“Such a fucking cheater!” Kels said as you cut him off, and stole the box he had been aiming for. You smirked and stuck your tongue out at him as you zipped ahead with your star powers and caught up to your niece. You would never, ever dare to pass her because you always worked as a team so you stayed right behind her to keep Kels from taking her first place spot. 

“Both of you suck.” Rook complained.

“Y’all are so damn competitive, it’s disgusting.” Ace laughed as he played cards with Slim.

“It’s a family thing.” Kels said as he hit the buttons on his controller as fast as he could to hit your character with a turtle shell. He hissed a ‘yes’ when Mario went flying into the air, and poor Rook jumped to his feet to avoid getting hit when you punched your laughing brother in the arm.

“Got you, dad!” Casie scolded as she ran him off the rainbow bridge, causing you to laugh, obnoxiously, at his expense.

“Oh, I’m coming for you now, Casie.” He said as he got up on his knees as the game announced the final lap.

“Go, baby go!” You cheered as you tried to block Kels’ car with yours. You had him pinned up against the track’s walls until almost the very end when both your hands seized. The remote fell to Casie’s lap as she crossed the finish line in first place, and your brother’s head whipped over to you, instantly.

“Fuck, not again.” He said as he tossed his remote on the couch. “Cas, get up!”

“Coul… C-c-c…” You tried as your muscles started to lock up, and spasm simultaneously.

“I know.” Kels said as he shoved everything off the couch onto the floor. “Casie, go get (Y/N)’s blue bag.” His daughter nodded as she turned, and ran off while Slim and Kels tried to straighten your limbs out and lay you down before the seizure started. “So fucking over this shit.”

“N… N…” You tried you tried to focus your vision on anything in the room.

“Casie, you gotta fucking hurry baby!” Kels yelled as he grabbed your bottom jaw to keep it open so you could breathe.

“Here.” She said as she held out the bag and climbed onto the couch to hold your head in her lap so it wouldn't hit the back of the couch. Your brother ripped the zipper open with his teeth as Slim and Ace held you on your side as the seizure, caused by not having a heat in the past ten years and the chemical imbalance due to your meds, started to roll through your body. 

“Thanks, baby.” Kels said as he grabbed a syringe and passed it and a bottle of liquid Ativan to Rook. “Two mig’s.” The drummer nodded as your brother kneeled down on the ground in front of you, grabbed a thick, rubber mouth guard from the bag, and wedged it between your teeth so you wouldn’t break your teeth or bite through your tongue when your jaw clenched. His chest heaved painfully as he gasped for air, hating that he had to watch you go through this yet again.

“Here.” Rook said as he held out the full syringe.

“Alright, here we go.” Kels said over the inhuman noise you were making as he ripped down the sleeve of your sweater and gave you the shot that would only temporarily help. “Here we go, it’s almost done, babe. Shhh…” He nodded his head and moved so he was directly in front of your face as he loosely held the back of your head with one hand and used the other to keep your mouth open to breathe. He kept talking to you while Casie kept brushing her hand through your hair as your seizure subsided.

“Do we need to find a hospital?” Ace asked as Kels pulled the mouth guard from your mouth when you stopped spasming .

“Na, she’ll make it to Cleveland.” He said as he put his hand on the side of your face and head so you knew he was there. “Someone find me her phone though.”

“Dad, the blanket.” Casie said as she pointed it out to him. He nodded as he grabbed the fabric and passed it to her so she could help him.

“C… Coul…” You tried as you began to shiver violently.

“I’m right here.” He said as he rubbed the side of your face. “You’re alright, sweetheart. I got you.” He looked over when someone tapped his arm and grabbed your phone from Slim’s hand. “We’re gunna get you to Cleveland, (Y/N). Take you to the hospital there.” You nodded subtly as he unlocked your cell and found Negan’s number, knowing you’d want your Alpha to be there when you got to the hospital. He propped the phone up to his ear with his shoulder, and grabbed your blue bag off the floor to find the sugar cubes you kept in there.

“Negan? It’s Kels. Look, figured you would want to know, (Y/N)’s having another seizure fit from her meds. We’re gunna take her to Cleveland Clinic. Should be there in a couple hours.” He looked down at you with a sigh, put a small, broken piece of the cube on your lips, and nodded his head as you looked up at him with wide, panicked eyes. Without a word, he pulled his hand away from your head to grab your phone. “She won’t be able to answer, but she can hear you.” He said before putting the call on speaker, and laying the phone in front of your face. “Go ahead.”

“Hey, baby girl.” Negan said, as calmly as he could over the sound of him scrambling to get the paperwork he would need into his briefcase. “I’m gunna meet you at the hospital, OK? You’re gunna be alright, just keep breathing for me.” You tried to nod your head, unsuccessfully, as your whole body tensed, and relaxed a few times. “You should feel special, Omega. I don’t ever do the fucking snow if I can avoid it. Shit’s fucking cold. I’m much fucking happier in warm, sunny California. But, just for you, I’ll endure the damn snow. I’m coming, (Y/N). I’m on my fucking way.” You nodded your head half an inch, as your eyes drifted closed in exhaustion. You let out a throaty ‘un’ as a response before falling into a fitful sleep.

“She’s asleep.” Kels said as he sat down in front of the couch with his arm in front of your body as he picked the phone back up and took it off speaker. “This is the shit I was fucking talking about.”

“I’m taking care of it.” Negan growled as he got in the elevator to head down to his car. “I’ll be there in a few hours. Keep her phone on you.” Your brother nodded as the two Alpha’s hung up simultaneously. 

“Is that guy gunna stop Aunt (Y/N)’s fits?” Casie asked as she carefully moved out from under your head, and put a pillow down in her place.

“I sure fucking hope so, baby girl.” Kels said as he ran his hand over his hair. “I sure fucking hope so.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leather, whiskey, and aftershave. It made you feel calm despite the amount of pain you were in. You whined, wishing that there was something you could do to get away from the pain but there wasn’t much you could do about it.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Negan said softly before your eyes even opened as he got up from the chair he had been sitting in for two days, watching you go through multiple fits that he could do nothing about. He smiled when you finally opened your eyes, sat down on the bed beside you, and pulled the blanket he had brought you from his bed up to your chin for you. “You’re alright, Omega.” Tears welled in your eyes, and you shook your head, disrupting the nasal cannula that was giving you extra oxygen.

“No.” You croaked as he picked up your hand, and put it on his thigh so you knew he was there. He shushed you softly as he cupped your jaw in his hand to fix your oxygen, and you instinctively turned your nose into his wrist, preventing him from doing so.

“You’re alright now, baby.” He said as he brushed your hair back with his other hand while you burst into tears. “I’m here. But you gotta fucking breathe for me.” You nodded against his palm as he finally put your oxygen back on.

“Negan.” You cried as you wrapped your sore fingers around the fabric of his dress pants.

“You gotta breathe.” He repeated in his Alpha tone. “Breathe Omega, or I will go sit back down in my chair until you do.” You nodded and finally took a deep, shaky breath. He nodded his head and smiled as you repeated the action and looked up at him through your tears. “Good. I’m gunna go get the doc while you keep taking deep breaths. I'm coming right back.” You nodded again as he carefully loosened your grip on his slacks and put your hand back down on the bed. “You stay calm, now.” With one more nod, he stepped out of your hospital room to find your doctor. You closed your eyes and tried to piece together the past couple days. That was another down side to your fits; losing days of your life to blackouts.

“Ms. Baker?” A beta woman said as she came into the room. You opened your eyes and nodded as a tall woman in a white coat walked in to your room behind your mate. “It’s good to see you awake. My name is Doctor Wilson. I just wanted to come touch base with what happened, and how we’re going to treat you from here.”

“I have fits.” You said as you looked away from her.

“Omega, it is not just fucking fits.” Negan scolded as he stood on the other side of the bed. “Listen to her. She’s helping.” You nodded and looked back up at the doctor.

“(Y/N), in the course of the past three days, you have had six seizures, as a side effect of these suppressants you have been on.” You nodded at her as she picked up the half empty blister pack Kels had given her when he brought you in, and showed it to you. “Personally, I haven’t seen this brand on the shelves of a pharmacy for Omega’s in at least a decade because the severe side effects…”

“My old manager got them in bulk from Mexico.” You whispered as you looked down at your hands in shame. “He made us take them.” Negan growled beside you as the doctor looked at you in horror. 

“I’m sorry. He made you?” The doctor asked.

“It’s a long, long fucking story that I have a group of LA’s best lawyers looking into.” Negan said as he reached down to hold your hand so you would stop picking at your thumbnail.

“God, I sure hope you win that case.” Dr. Wilson said as she put the pills back under the clasp of her clipboard to dispose of. “At any rate, we now have to get you off these medications, and either put you on a better suppressant that doesn’t have the extreme side effects, or take you off suppressants completely. That, however, is your choice…”

“Off.” You said with zero hesitation. “I want to be off of them.” Dr. Wilson glanced up at Negan for his agreement, and nodded with him as she pulled a pen from her coat pocket, and made a note in your chart.

“Alright. Well fortunately, at three days out, we’ve passed the half life of the drug. So getting the rest of it out of your system is just a matter of time. However, there are so many side effects to being on this particular medication long term that we just don’t know about. Blood clots, heart attack, stroke, inability to conceive, ovarian cysts…”

“Enough.” Negan said, shortly when you squeezed his hand, and whined nervously. The doctor looked up at him as he stepped forward and sat down on the bed beside you, protectively. “Enough. She didn’t have a fucking choice in taking those fucking pills, and any fucking side effects she has because of them, will be addressed by the best damn doctors in the fucking world. No use trying to further traumatize an already terrified Omega.”

“My apologies.” Dr. Wilson said with a nod as Negan covered you with his blanket again so you would feel safe surrounded by his scent. “Well, Ms. Baker, we’d like to keep you here for a few more days to monitor your wellbeing. The concern we have, of course, is your first heat.”

“Is she stable enough to be transferred?” Negan asked as he brushed his thumb over your knuckles. “No offense meant to your fine establishment, but I’d prefer to have my Omega closer to home.”

“She can be transferred.” The doctor said with a nod as she closed your chart. “But it is something we need to confirm with her brother, first. Unfortunately, that’s hospital policy with unclaimed Omegas.” Negan nodded his head and looked over at you with a smile.

“I’ll let you choose, Omega. You can stay here near Kels, or we can go back home.”

“I wanna go home.” You said as you laid your head back against the pillow. “Please, Alpha.” He nodded his head and gave you a reassuring smile before looking back up at the doctor.

“I’ll go put in the transfer orders, and confirm with Mr. Baker.” She said with a nod. “I’ll just need the name of the hospital…”

“It’ll be a home address.” Negan said as he pulled his hand free of yours for a moment to get a piece of paper and a pen from his briefcase. “I already have a call in to an Omega specialist from Europe that’s just waitin’ on my call and my primary doctor is also waiting to monitor her wellbeing through her recovery.” Dr. Wilson nodded once more, and took the paper with Negan’s home address to add it to your chart. 

“Alright. Let me make a few phone calls, and get your paperwork in order, and we’ll get you squared away. I’ll be back.” You said a soft ‘thank you’ to her back as Negan came back over and sat down beside you.

“Don’t you listen to a fucking word she had to say.” He said as he cupped your jaw again. “You’re gunna be just fucking fine, baby girl.”

“But what if she’s right?” You whispered as tears filled your eyes. “What if I can’t give you pups…”

“Then we don’t have pups.” He said simply as he brushed his thumb across your cheek. “Or we fucking adopt. Omega, I don’t need pups to be happy if I have you in my life.” You nodded your head but closed your eyes as you leaned into his touch. He sighed as he leaned forward and gently kissed your forehead. “You’re gunna be just fine, baby girl. Let’s just get you home.”

Part 3

[lovren-la-vida-luka]

Unbreak My Heart

This was an anon request for something “super mega angsty” with Krama. I’ve never written anything like this before, so I hope it turned out okay!

Pairing: Andrej Kramaric x reader Words: 2000 Warnings: some swearing, self doubt/low self esteem, arguing

“I love it when the sky turns pink,” you muse, pointing up at the cotton candy clouds above you. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“It is,” he replies, placing his hand on yours. “Not as pretty as you though.”

You laugh, jumping to your feet. “Let’s see if it’s reflected in the lake!”

Andrej follows you, and you find that it is. The parts of the water not shaded by trees reflect the pink and orange hues from above, and you resist the urge to jump in. It’s not hard to see why this woodland clearing is your favourite place. You came here stargazing on your second date, and it’s been somewhat of a second home ever since. Whether it’s a picnic on a sunny morning, or watching the sun go down and the stars appear with nothing but each other (and maybe some rakija), this is your place. Your initials are carved into a tree stump, and you’ve named some of the animals after his teammates – Dejan the raccoon actually comes close so you can give him fruit from your picnics now, and you both know that “Raketa” is a different squirrel every time, but that doesn’t stop you saying hi excitedly whenever you see an orange flash scurry up a tree.

This night is as perfect as always. But this time, you don’t say jokingly say goodnight to the animals when you leave. You say goodbye. Andrej doesn’t notice.

He chalks the quiet car ride home back to your place up to you being tired, and it’s only when you get into the house that he notices something is wrong. You look different. He’s not sure how, but you do. The spark you usually have after visiting your place isn’t there, and when he tries to hug you, you take a second too long to settle into his embrace.

He pulls back and looks at you, a confused frown taking over his face. “Y/N, are you okay?”

When you don’t answer, he gently tilts your chin upwards to look into your eyes. “Ljubavi, what’s wrong? I thought you had a good time tonight!”

“I did,” you whisper with a sad smile. “It was perfect. And that makes this even harder.”

Andrej stares at you, slowly coming to a realisation. He lowers himself slowly into his armchair – no, your armchair, just the one he’d always used, until today – shaking his head. “No…” he whispers. “Why? We were fine. Everything seemed perfect, did I miss something? I love you, you love me-“

“I loved you,” you interrupt, begging your voice not to waver. “Past tense.”

He looks up at you, tears beginning to roll from his warm blue eyes down his cheeks. “I don’t believe you,” he chokes. Part of you wants to tell him he’s right, hold him close and apologise a million times for ever saying it, but you know you can’t.

“Andrej, please. I don’t want to see you hurt like this… don’t make this harder for yourself,” you tell him, keeping your voice as cold and flat as you can, determined not to let him see that your words are destroying you as much as they are him.

“But… tonight…” he croaks, grasping at his T-shirt, his hair, anything in his reach, just desperate to hold onto something.

“I wanted one more memory,” you say, barely able to hold back your own tears. “I just wanted everything to be perfect one last time.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, it was,” he whispers. “Thank you, Y/N. For that one last perfect moment, and for every other over the past few months. For trying. For loving me… even if it’s past tense.”

It isn’t. “It is. I’m sorry.”

He nods in defeat and gets to his feet with a sigh.

You want to hit him, you know it’s unreasonable, and you don’t want to see him hurting any more than he already is, but part of you wishes he’d scream, shout, beg, trash the house, something. While you know you should be relieved that it seems easy for him, it feels like a dagger through your chest.

He walks out of the door without another word, and suddenly you feel lost. You regret never letting him buy the terrible ornaments he pointed out, or light his dumb candles, anything that would give your house even a touch of his presence, because right now it feels like he was never there. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget him, but still, it feels like he was never there and it’s the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced.

You sit in his – no, your – armchair and bury your face into the back of it, trying to convince yourself it smells of him. Maybe it does… you can’t quite tell. Somewhere between the warm, woody scent and the bittersweet memories, your eyes close one last time and you drift into sleep.

According to the clock, it’s midnight when you’re awoken by the doorbell. Still half-awake and hazy, you stumble to the door and realise a second too late that you shouldn’t have opened it.

“I tried to just walk away. I love you so fucking much, Y/N, and I just wanted you to be happy, even if that’s not with me. But please, at least tell me why.”

The pleading in his voice makes you feel sick, you can’t believe you’ve made him, your Krama, your everything, feel this way. Unable to take a second more, and knowing that an explanation will only make things worse, you whisper one last apology and push the door closed. You crumple to the floor behind the door, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle the howl of despair that escapes from your lips.

There’s an abrupt, hammering knock on the door, making you jump away from it. He calls your name, begging you to talk to him. His voice is wracked with sobs, and you clamp your hands over your ears, curling into a ball on the floor. “No, no, no…” you whimper over and over, listening to his voice becoming quieter as he resigns himself to the fact that you’re gone.

Eventually, everything goes quiet, and you assume he left. You stay where you are, unable to move, weeping silently as you replay his cries in your head on a loop. Suddenly, you hear the letterbox open, and before you have time to process it, a folded sheet of paper falls onto you, brushing your shoulder on its way to the floor.

Hands trembling, you pick up the paper and unfold it. There are wet specks on it, where tears have clearly fallen on it, and to save what’s left of your heart you convince yourself they’re all yours. Through the tears in your eyes and the smudged ink, it’s difficult, but you begin to read.

-

Dear Y/N,

I don’t know what I did, or where it all went wrong, but I’ve accepted that I never will, and I won’t bother you again.

This is my goodbye. To those perfect memories, and the imperfect ones too. To our inside jokes, even the ones you didn’t really get. To all of our plans, that are now what-ifs. To you.

I will never forget you. I can only hope that you’ll forgive me one day.

Yours forever, even if I never truly was,

Andrej

-

By the time he’d written his name, his handwriting was almost illegible. You try to shake the image of him, crying, hands shaking, writing his final words to you against the front door that you shut in his face, but you can’t.

You stand up, slowly, legs shaking and head spinning, and slowly open the door to find him sitting on the doorstep, head in his hands. “Andrej…” you whisper, and he looks up at you with red, puffy eyes full of pain and exhaustion.

“I’m going, okay? I’m just trying to calm down a little before I call a cab.”

His voice is flat and raspy, and it kills you. You can’t do this.

“Don’t,” you breathe. “Don’t call a cab. Come inside. Let’s talk about this.”

Andrej looks unsure, but as you offer your hand to help him to his feet, he takes it, and doesn’t pull away as you lead him indoors. You close the door behind you, and look up at him, not sure what to do next.

“Why?” he asks, and you gesture for him to sit down in his – your? – no, his, armchair. He doesn’t. He sits down tentatively on the edge of the sofa, looking at the floor, and you feel your tears start to flow again. He always sat in that chair. He’s acting like he doesn’t belong here… of course he is, you told him he didn’t. The least he deserves is the truth, you decide, and so you take a deep breath and explain everything.

“You deserve someone better,” you tell him quietly. “Your teammates have girls who look like models… hell, half of them are models. They’re all so perfect, and I’m just me. You deserve perfection too. Not me, and my average looks and emotional baggage and…” your voice trails off as he stands up and walks towards you, a storm raging in the blue sky of his eyes.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?” he growls, his face inches from yours. You’ve never felt scared of him before, but you feel your pulse start to race as his lip raises into a snarl. “I SAID, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”

“No,” you sniffle, avoiding his eyes. He takes hold of your face, firmly but gently, and forces you to look him in the eye.

“Are you finding it hard to look at me?” he snaps. “I hope so. I hope it hurts to see the damage you’ve done. You broke my heart, and all because you thought you weren’t good enough for me? Isn’t that for me to decide?!”

Unable to respond, you choke out another sob and push his hand away from your face.

“Don’t you understand? The fact that my teammates are with models or whatever the fuck… that means I could be too. Yet, I chose you. Because to me, you are perfection. If you’re average, there’s no hope for anyone else. And I don’t remember you kidnapping me - I chose you, you idiot. I chose you every day.”

He pauses, and when he speaks again, his voice is softer. “I’d still choose you every day. I hate you right now, but fuck if I don’t love you with my whole heart. Present tense. Future tense. Every tense.”

“I love you too,” you tell him, and somewhere deep within his aching heart he knows you mean it. “Not past tense. Present. Future. Not past… God, it killed me to say that.”

“Sorry if I don’t have much sympathy,” he snarks, and you step forward and gingerly touch his arm.

“I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing to say,” you admit, gently tracing your fingertips down his arm. “I’m an idiot.”

“Damn right you are,” he sighs, but a second later he takes your hand in his. “You absolutely are. But I still choose you. Can we try again? Molim te, ljubavi. I don’t want to lose you, especially now I know how ridiculous your reasons were.”

You nod your head, choke out a “yes” and pull him close, sobbing into his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne.

“I’m so, so sorry, Andrej,” you cry, grasping fistfuls of the soft fabric of his T-shirt.

“I know,” he whispers, and you feel his strong hand caressing your hair. “Let’s get you to bed, yeah? You’re exhausted, I can feel it.”

“Stay with me,” you plead, and suddenly, you find yourself lifted off the ground. You automatically wrap your legs around his waist and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“Don’t you worry,” he says softly, placing a tender kiss on your head as he carries you towards the bedroom. “I’m going nowhere.”

Tag list: @living-lovren @domo-no-domo-yes @wordpuddle @croatian-nt @zadarskabagudina @ivan-rakitic @tinymodric @croatianstan @igecko1320 - as always, ask if you want to be added/removed from the tag list!

[sebbytrash]

Through His Eyes - Part Two

Summary - Bucky arrives at the compound to start afresh but you and him have a somewhat colorful past, colorful being that you met him once before as The Winter Soldier and it did not go well. New beginnings, yeah? If you can learn to forgive.

Pairing - Eventual Bucky x Reader

Warnings - Nightmare, mentions of blood and torture, a mega ton of guilt and sad stuff guys. A N G S T 

A/N -  I need to do this justice guys, it’s my baby.  Feedback loved and appreciated  Please love me, I haven’t written in forever.

Through His Eyes Masterlist

The next hour is spent eating and laughing with Steve, some of the tension ebbing away whilst he recounted all the ways Sam got rejected when they were at Tony’s party a few days before. Poor guy unintentionally hit on some guys wife and it did not go well. After clearing away the plates and containers, Steve hugs you again and decides to head off to bed.

“Y/N...I just-” Steve stops at the door, suddenly serious again, “You know it wasn’t him right? Not really?”

You hesitate a little, testing out the weight of it, caught between wanting to please him and not wanting to like. Was it something you had accepted. “I know Steve.” Maybe. Did it matter?

“It haunts him, you know? Especially at night.” He smiles wearily, the strain of today written all over his face for the first time, leaves you to feel the weight of his words.

It wasn't something you had considered, not fundamentally. Maybe you’d thought he somehow moved on, never dwelled on the things he done. Maybe you simply didn't care, too caught up in how it affected you and his other victims, but still, now you were thinking. Conflicting emotions wrapping around your heart, crudely cut joy, guilt, pain and maybe a little...empathy. Wrapping tighter and tighter till you weren't sure which was strongest.

Shit.

It’s long past midnight and you're still awake, lying in your bed staring up the ceiling like it contains the answers to all of life's problems, the answers to nothing and something, and everything in between. Today had been a lot to process, seeing Bucky for the first time since...well, then, seeing not the soldier but the man. Seems he was all duct tape and glue like you, the brutal reality a stark contrast to the man you imagined, a far cry from the dead eyes and blank stares of before. Steve’s words loop around, caught between memories and nightmares and a new feeling that's here, scratching at the surface of your fortified heart.

Guilt.

That’s the point isn't it? You're supposed to forgive him now, supposed to understand the why and forget the how. Logical, practical...human. If only it were that simple.

Now, what do I do with this?

“Shit.” Muffled and low, a voice sounds outside your door. Your hands automatically reach for you gun, tucked under your pillow and wedged between the mattress and bed frame. Bob. Most reliable friend you’d ever had.

There’s someone there, hovering outside your door...are they pacing? Yep, distinct sound of threads being worn away and thoughts turning over. Less concerned for your safety and more curious and sort of annoyed now, you hoist yourself into a sitting position, roll your neck a few times, muscles gone stiff at the strenuous ceiling staring and finally find your feet. You swing the door open in one fast, fluid motion stunning your guest and in turn yourself.

Bucky.

Thoughts liquify, stunned to the point you forget to be afraid, that you should be.

“Shit, did I wake you?” He asks, voice ragged and guilty heavy, “I just- I had to say… I shouldn’t have come here. This was fucking selfish.” He runs a heavy hand down his face, gripping at his jaw so hard it had to hurt.

You're still standing there, slack jawed and blinking stupidly, it would be funny if you could muster enough coherence to recognise it but he doesn’t seem to notice, or mind, and you can tell he’s mentally berating himself. His eyes say much more than he seems to be managing with his mouth. He steps towards you and the motion jolts you, makes you take an involuntary step back but finally clearing the fog a little.

Noting your movement he stills, lowers his hands to his side and looks at you right in the eye for the second time today, lets you see the pure agony in them, “I just had to say it, Y/N, I’m so sorry for what I... if I could take it all back I would. I had to at least say it.” He holds your gaze a second longer before turning and disappearing down the hall. You watch him retreat, wondering how you got to the point where you might even feel sorry for him? Like a smidge.

Despite that, it's a while before your breathing returns to normal, before you heart stops trying to escape from your chest. It takes even longer for the tears to dry.  

“You look like shit.” You do, it's no surprise really that Sam would point it out after 0.5 of a second. Shithead.

“Bite me, Birdboy.” You flick a piece of cereal at him, dry since there was no milk. Tony was gonna be pissed.

“Out of milk again?” You nod, tipping the rest of the bowl into your mouth, “Momma Stark is gonna lose his shit.”

“I have a plammphf…” You say around the mouthful of cereal earning you a look.

“You’re disgusting.” Sam says, prompting you to show him the entire contents of your mouth as punishment. He wanted disgusting after all, “God, you’ve been hanging around why guys too much.” You shrug, he’s probably right, and finish your mouthful.

“Anyways, I have a plan.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yup. I don't plan on being here when Mrs Doubtfire wakes up.”

“Not much of a plan is it?”

“All I got dude.” He rolls his eyes and flops into the chair next to you, his own bowl of dry cereal in his hand.

“Hey.” He says, softer this time, leans in a little “you good?”

“Yeah, I’m good Sam. Promise.”

Sam hangs around most of the day, you suspect he’s keeping an eye on you but say nothing, honestly just grateful for the company. You eat, you watch movies, all in it's a good day. Yet, you can’t stop glancing at the door, wondering if he’ll appear, wondering what you’ll do. Decisions, reactions.

“Hey kid, you doing okay?” Sam asks, nods towards the door like he’s seen every glance.

You sigh, “Yeah, I am. I’m trying to be.” He raises his eyebrows at this, silently questioning, “I want to get passed this, forgive and forget.”

“Oh, yeah? For Steve or for you?” He tries to stay neutral, but you hear it anyway.

“Both, I guess?” You reply, chewing on your bottom lip, “I want to, just, not sure if I can.”

“You can, if that’s what you want. Just gonna take some time, kid. You deserve time.”

Around 5pm, Sam gets called out on a last minute mission, nothing too drastic but Redwing was needed and so Sam goes too. You stay in the lounge, adamant you can finish the full season of Stranger Things before you go to bed and somewhere along the way you fall asleep.

Dead eyes. Dead eyes.

The smell of blood is overwhelming, blood and sweat, stuck to you, drowning you. He’s here, like always, walking closer and closer. You blink a few times, trying to clear the haze, trying to see his face but it’s blurry. It’s never blurry.

The knife is clear.

He's in front of you now, face blurry except those dead eyes, drawing up his full size as he begins his slow patterns on your arm, starts at the bottom, twists and turns the blade as your scream in agony, the sounds of knife tearing flesh somehow louder. He stops, you look. A. The screaming starts again. And again.

“Y/N, Y/N wake up, it’s a dream.”

You jerk away from the cold touch on your arm, press yourself back against the couch like you can disappear into it. Figures it would be him, kneeling on the floor in front of you.

“M’sorry. Seemed like you should wake up.” Bucky says, eyeing you warily and sitting back on his haunches, maybe making himself a little smaller. You say nothing, mind still recovering from the nightmare and struggling to reconcile that Bucky with this one, the one with kind eyes and not dead.

“You said my name.” He whispers, like he wants to know but want’s to not.

“Yeah well, you had a starring role.” You say back, voice breaking a little at the end and putting a little heat in the tone.

He nods again, face aiming for detached and falling somewhere short in agony. Climbs to his feet, and goes to leave, turns a little ways back and stills, “You star in mines too.”

TAGS: @marvel-ash​ @watchmemarvel @viollettes @bionic-buckyb @howlingbarnes @manawhaat @mamapeterson @teamfreewill-imagine @writingruna @sugardaddytonystark @buckysberrie @fvckingavengers @sincerelysaraahh ​ @stevergxrs @imhereforbvcky @poe-also-bucky  @maybe-mikala @a-little-hell-to-raise  @justareader @abovethesmokestacks @stormy-thomas @learisa @mrs-lamezec @jrubalcaba  @theliarone @raxacoricofallapatoriuspotter @thirstybitchqueen @221bshrlocked @aikibriarrose @cinema212 @ign-is @shifutheshihtzu @mocking-rain @j25m18c24 @wanderlustxdiaries @hollycornish @iamthemaskhewears @mizzzpink @lady-sloan @learisa @tinaferraldo @haven-in-writing @miss-mcbotty  @its-daydreamer23 @yknott81 @jobean12-blog @kurosaki224-new-blog @stephie-senpai @ayeputita @because-imma-lady-assface @justreadingfics @punkpeqqy @avengerofyourheart @captain-rogers-beard @chrisevansnco

[georgialouisea]

Once or Twice

Pairing -  Dean x Reader.

Characters - Dean, Sam, Reader, Josh (omc) Word Count - 1212 Warnings -  Language. Summary -  A/N -  I’ve had this idea in my head for a little while.

The road ahead of you was dimly lit as you continued on your quest to nowhere, you must look ridiculous, yet this was the right choice. Your dress snagged on a branch as it pulled you back slightly, yanking it from the branch you continued on your pointless journey. Where were you even going?

You should have walked away from Josh months ago, yet in true Y/N style, you decided to leave it until the last minute, second even. Here you were on your wedding day, single, alone, freezing and without a single possession.

You could hear an engine in the distance, It could be Josh, No you were too far away from the church. Headlights illuminated the road as you continued on. The car rolled to a stop near you, realising you were completely defenceless you picked up the pace.

“Miss?” A male voice called from the car. “Miss are you okay? Do you need a ride into town?” He questioned as he turned off the engine.

You didn't once turn around, you were too scared to, you just carried on as your arms wrapped around your waist.

“Hey, stop.” He yelled as you heard the engine roar to life behind you, the car shot forwards and pulled in a few feet before you, again he turned off the engine but this time he got out and approached you. You could only make out the outline of him in the dim light, he was tall, muscular, he could easily take you down if he wanted to, or shove you in the boot of his car. As he got closer you saw his eyes, beautiful green eyes, he looked at you with a furrowed brow his hands were up as he stepped towards you. It was only when he was inches away from you when you realised that you'd stopped walking.

“Are you okay?” He asked again.

“Yeah, I erm …” How do you explain to a complete stranger in the middle of nowhere at night that you were okay?

“Here.” He shrugged off his jacket and slowly approached you, testing the waters with how you’d react to him when you didn't move he draped his jacket over your shoulders. “How long have you been out here?”

“Well, I was getting married at 10 am so since 10 am.” You sighed as you swayed slightly. Looking down your white gown was now a ripped muddy mess.

“You want to get something to eat?”

“I don’t know you.”

“I’m Dean.” He extended out a hand as he smiled, you weren't sure what it was about him but he made you feel safe. “Do you need to call anyone?”

“No.”

“Okay well let’s get you somewhere warm and get some food because I’m starving.” Dean placed a hand on your back as he gently led you towards the car. He opened the door for you, sliding in the seat you watched as he shut the door and walked around the car and got in the driver's seat, you couldn't look at him as he started the car. Your attention fell to the trees outside as you began to cry, the tears fell for the first time in hours, you really had nothing.

“So … why’d you run?” Dean asked as he drove.

“It wasn't right … I didn't love him.” You choked back your sobs as you wiped away the tears. “I’m a mess.” You whispered to yourself.

“You’re not.” Dean's response made your head snap up to look at him.

“You don't know me, Dean. I left a man who loves me at the altar, what a fucking cliche.” You managed a laugh. “I have nothing, literally no phone, money, ID, I just ran.”

“I’ve survived with nothing, you’re going to be okay.”

Surprisingly you were okay, Dean took you for food in a small diner near the motel he was staying at. You sat and ate with Dean ignoring all the looks you two were getting. He tried to get you a room at the motel but it was fully booked, instead, he gave you his bed. “Here I have these for you too they’ll probably swamp you but …” He stopped as he looked down at your ruined wedding dress.

“Dean, thank you so much, I can’t thank you enough for the clothes for the food, thank you.” You smiled at him as you walked into the bathroom.

After you’d showered away the day you put on the black shirt and grey boxers Dean had kindly given you. As you towelled dried your hair you could hear voices in the room, putting your ear to the door you listened.

“Dude don’t tell me you’ve brought some chick back.”

“Well yes and no,” Dean explained to the other man. “I found her.”

“What do you mean you found her? In a bar?”

Deciding now was the time to make your appearance you opened the door and walked out the bathroom dragging dress behind you.

“Hi.” You looked at the mystery man.

“Hi.” He looked between you, the dress in your hand and Dean.

“Y/N this is my brother Sam, Sam this is Y/N.” Dean introduced you both.

“Nice to meet you.” He like his brother extended his hand which you shook, whoever had raised these boys had raised them with manners. “Dean, can I talk to you outside please?”

“Sam, if it’s about me you can just go for it, I’ve had a bad day you can’t make it any worse.” With a look, Sam signalled for Dean to go outside, obviously not wanting to hurt his feelings.

The door shut behind them, this hotel wasn't the best so you could hear every word they were saying.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked.

“She needs help.”

“What the hell happened?”

“I was driving back and she was walking alone in just her dress, I pulled up to see if she was okay, she was freezing and she’d been out since 10 am. I took her for food tried to get her a room here but they’re booked so she’s here. Happy?”

“What happens tomorrow?”

"I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

You watched the TV as they both entered the room. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” They spoke in unison.

“I’ll sleep here.” You informed as you settled into the armchair.

“No, you’re taking the bed.”

“No, Dean you’ve done enough for me, I’ve taken enough from you.”

“Y/N, please, you’ve had a rough day.” The look he gave you was hard to say no to.

“Fine,” You smiled as you stood up. walking to him you wrapped your arms around him. “Thank you for saving me, Dean.” You mumbled into his chest as his arms wrapped around you.

Your arms were wrapped around Dean as he were around you, both of you swaying as you travelled across the dance floor as your loved ones watched you take your first dance together.

“I love you.” You whispered.

“I love you too, did I ever tell you how happy I am you left, Josh?”

“Once or twice.” You smiled up at him. “Did I ever tell you how happy I am you found me?”

“Once or twice.” Dean echoed as you both continued to dance the night away.

Taglist-

Forever Taglist - @mega-loser1298 @smalltowndivaj @roxyspearing

Dean Taglist - @akshi8278 @awesomestperson22

SPN Pond Taglist- @dr-dean @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @nichelle-my-belle @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @notnaturalanahi @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @spn-fan-girl-173 @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace  @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname  @waywardjoy    @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles @wevegotworktodo @jpadjackles @quiddy-writes @babypieandwhiskey @deantbh @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @plaidstiel-wormstache @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @revwinchester @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes  @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @bennyyh @clueless-gold @deanwinchesterxreader @melbelle45 @winchester-family-business @4401lnc @teamfreewill92

@mrswhozeewhatsis Taglist Dean -

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[not-so-secret-nerd]

Holtzbert, "are you fucking insane?!" (Bonus addition of "maybe I'm just crazy")

Eye for an Eye, Prank for a Prank (part 1)

Erin idled quietly in the kitchen nuking leftovers—Wednesday night was leftover night, aka the night where Patty didn’t cook and no one wanted to fork out the money for takeout—when she heard the throaty explosion in the lab above her and sighed after catching her balance on the counter. As jarring as it was, this wasn’t an unnatural occurrence. Holtzmann was notorious for combining materials that didn’t coincide well together. The woman started more fires in the firehouse than the previous firemen put out while living there. But even though it was a natural occurrence, it still gave Erin a start every time it happened.

Leaning against the counter and admiring the late autumn sunset—leaves becoming a kaleidoscope of color in the soft orange light—the brunette waited for the string of barely muffled curses to drift down from the rafters, a small, unnoticed smile pulling at her lips. Leave it to Holtz to blow something—

An unearthly shriek ripped through the air, making the physicist choke on her coffee.

Erin was scrambling for the stairs before she realizes she gave her feet the command to move. The scream wasn’t one of surprise or frustration. It was one of pain.

“Holtz?” she shouted, taking the stairs three at a time and almost putting her shoulder through the wall when she tripped and bounced off the drywall on the first landing. No answer. She runs faster. “Holtzmann?!”

The upper floor of the firehouse had been divided into two spaces: sleeping and Holtzmann’s lab. Rooms were to the left of the stairs. The lab was to the right. Today, the whole upper floor was filled with black smoke that smelled like burning rubber and ozone. It hung fog-thick, distorting lab instruments and making their lights glow like earth-bound stars.

Stopping just shy of the doorway, Erin waved away curling tendrils and searched for the blonde. She coughed hard and stumbled to a window, throwing it open to clear the air. Through the thick smoke, Erin caught a glimpse of a familiar silhouette stagger out from behind a table.

“What the hell?” she shouts, taking Jillian’s shoulder and spinning her around. “Are you—“

The question dies in her throat. Her eyes go wide. Blood. Tissue. Bone. A trifecta of horrors.

Hunched nearly in half, Holtzmann turned wild eyes onto Erin. Her yellow glasses, now cracked in one lens, hung haphazard from her right ear. The front of her t-shirt and pants were spattered with blood. Her left hand gripped her right with bruising force…only there wasn’t a hand there anymore. Not one that could be of any use, anyway. Skin and muscle barely hung from the remnants of once dexterous fingers and smooth palm. A shock of white bone peeked out from behind bloody tissue, the faint echo of fingers left behind like the stump of trees after a clear-cutting operation.

Erin physically felt the blood drain from her face, the world tilting on its side.

“Erin…” Holtzmann wheezes in a tiny voice, huge eyes locked on the shattered remains of her hand. “I th-think this is…b-bad.”

Bad? This had blown past bad and taken orbit around the earth! Hadn’t Erin warned her? Hadn’t she been terrified of this exact thing happening but was talked over time and time again? And now that it had, she couldn’t get her brain to find the right gear.

Call an ambulance!

Call the paramedics!

Call someone!

Holtzmann suddenly pitched forward in a boneless fall back to earth. Erin caught her in a diving slide and goes to her knees, cradling the younger woman.

“Abby! Patty!” she shrills in one breath, loud enough the dead would probably rise from their graves.

“E-Erin…I—”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” the brunette stutters in what she hopes is a soothing gesture, searching for something she can wrap around the remnants of Holtzmann’s hand to staunch the bleeding. “You’re going to be okay.”

“I just…wanted to…tell you—“ A shiver runs the length of Holtz’s body, and her eyes start to roll.

“No! Holtzmann, stay awake!” Erin gave the smaller woman a shake, a hand resting on her cheek and patting it gently. She could feel tears starting to well in her eyes. Where were Abby and Patty? “You have to stay awake. Please, what were you going to tell me?”

Holtz’s eyes flutter back open but she has to squint hard at Erin to see her. The tip of her tongue darts out and she swallows hard. “H-happy…” she slurs, struggling to form the word. She tries again. “Happy…Halloween.”

Thrusting her right arm forward, Holtz taps Erin on the nose with the stump of her hand…the stump that appeared to be attached to a wooden stake gripped in the engineer’s very real, very attached and healthy right hand.

Erin’s mind turns to static. Already struggling for traction, she sits in dazed befuddlement, working her jaw up and down like a fish out of water. What had just happened? It kept repeating in her mind over and over again even as Holtz rolled into a squat beside her, giggling as she did.

“Come on, Gilbert, come back to earth,” Holtz laughed, giving the physicist a gentle nudge with her shoulder. She might as well have pulled the pin on an over-tight spring with how fast Erin came to her feet. Gone was the shocked vacancy. Gone was the confusing. In its place, a dark kind of anger reigned.

“Are you fucking insane!?” Erin thundered, voice matching the war-drum pound of her heart. If she’d been any less furious, her level of anger would have been shocking. Erin wasn’t someone who reached this level of anger often or who swore so openly, but when she did all of creation took notice.

Holtzmann certainly did. The blonde practically jumped away, a nervous kind of sheepishness replacing her previous mirth.  

“Happy Halloween?” she shrugged, beginning to suspect she might have taken things a bit too far. After all, this was their first official Halloween together, and Holtz hadn’t really been able to feel out Erin and Patty’s prank level. Abby she knew. The two made it a yearly event pranking each other—fighting for the title of Halloween Queen—but Holtz didn’t know Erin…

“That wasn’t funny!” Erin continues shouting, rubbing away the lingering moisture in her eyes with the heel of her palm. “I thought you actually hurt yourself!”

“Come on, Er,” the engineer snorted, rolling her eyes. “You think I’d be stupid enough to weld near a propane tank? Wait…” Holtzmann holds up her hand—whole and healthy—with a wince because she’d done crazy shit like that in the past. “Forget I said that. But seriously. I’m safe up here. Snug as a bug in a rug.”

“You start fires on a regular basis!”

“Fire-bug in a rug then,” Holtzmann gave the brunette a wink and an eyebrow wiggle that only serves to exacerbate the situation rather than defusing it. Erin’s expression turned from wet angry to something more stoney.

“God, is everything a joke to you?”

“Er, seriously, it was just a prank. It’s Halloween. Me and Abby do this all the—“

“Well, I’m not Abby! And I don’t appreciate being the butt end of a terrible joke! I mean, who does that?!”

“Normal…people?”

That was a mistake to say.

“Normal people don’t prank their friend making them think they’d seriously hurt themselves! I thought you were really hurt, Holtzmann, and you’re just laughing it off like it’s nothing. Like me worrying is just another joke to you! Something only normal people get because apparently, I don’t understand why something like this would be even remotely funny!”

Holtz leaned back, absently tugging on her ear, sudden understanding dawning. Oh hell, she’d really, really fucked up. Yep, Holtz had taken it too far. Shit.

“I…Erin, I’m sorry,” she stammered, losing a fair portion of her bravado. “I didn’t mean…it was just—“

“A joke? Whatever, Holtz,” Erin snapped, turning tightly away and stalking back downstairs in an effort to hide the creep of hot embarrassment climbing her neck and the cresting of fresh tears. “Just, whatever.”

The engineer watched in silent dismay as Erin disappeared, leaning heavily against one of her work benches. This wasn’t a medium poof. This was a catastrophic, mega-sized, containment unit malfunction poof that left the blonde with more than egg on her face. She was covered in a fair amount of green goo and a sinking feeling she’d just shattered whatever budding friendship had been forming between her and Erin.

“Oh man,” she exhaled, rubbing her face and taking some of the fake blood with it. “Holtz, on a scale of one to ten, this is a CERN level fuck up. Way to go, hot shot. Way to go.”

[theliterateape]

Top Best Highs To Play While Game

by Peter Kremidas

It’s happening, folks. Legal Marijuana is coming to Illinois in just a few short weeks. The thing you always spoke about while standing in a circle right before getting weirdly silent because a stranger walked by. Because standing silently in a circle and coughing is a completely normal part of every social gathering and therefore is in no way conspicuous.

At some point you may be in your home in the state of what kids these days call “stoned as fuck”. And you may think to yourself, “Tree branches look like nerve endings.” Or “I want to play a video game.” Now, according to research, marijuana makes everything better. This is most obvious for music, and extends into video games. Apparently. I am told.

After hours and hours of painstaking research, I have compiled in no particular order this list of video games that may just pair perfectly with Doritos and cheese dip. You’re welcome.

Super Hypercube

I want to get the VR game out of the way first, since not a lot of people have access to VR. But if you do, let me just say, holy shit. Imagine being inside tetris, but you’re looking around a giant mess of an ever growing mass of blocks the whole time trying to figure out which direction to turn it so it fits through a hole. All those words I just vomited for you to read are also a 100 percent accurate description of this game. The tension is delicious. Your motor skills are hopeless. Nothing matters because you are inside Tetris. Your smile is so big it gets mistaken for a light reflector for the tracking camera and your shit gets all kinds of fucked up. You are inside Tetris.

Proteus

Proteus will never hurt you. Proteus is a world you travel around in and nothing happens and it’s beautiful. It’s an 8-bit world to explore with a whatever-Brian-Eno-sleeps-to soundtrack that lulls you into a world of green and pink square box trees with pink square box leaves and yes there are animals too. This is a game for people who find objectives and deadlines just, like, stressful, man.

Local Host

Or, you know what? Fuck that. I’m the kinda of pot smoker who wants to think about the future, man.I say things like “I mean, right?”

That’s why I play Local Host. Because when I’m in a fragile state of mind, I want to see how well I handle moral quandaries. If you’re the type of person who gets stoned and watches Black Mirror, mouth agape in sweet sweet ethical dilemma, boy do I have the game for you. Local Host is a game where you are tasked with disabling a series of AI programs, while they talk to you and try and convince you to please not do that, please. If you’ve ever fantasized about your toaster begging for it’s life before you unplug it, you will love this game.

Journey

Journey shows up on every list with the words “games” and/or “best” in the title. The reason is because, somehow, this little escapade (it’s only about 3-4 hours long) takes you through an entire emotional arc.. All the while on your exhibition you may encounter other players playing from all over the world. Fear not, they cannot actually talk to you. Actual talking strangers are anathema to a good buzz. Especially, and this cannot be understated, when it comes to video games. But those same said strangers can and will chirp at you. And you can chirp back. “Chirp chip,” you will say to your new friend, who you can either stay with through the whole game or go do your own thing. Journey is all the fun of interacting with other people without any of the power (and therefore, crucially, responsibility. It is known.) of a real conversation. And an emotional jaunt filled to the brim with “whoa” moments. You will say “pretty” out loud, several times.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (character creation screen)

Imagine super mega high def Proteus, and it’s a country of shit talking villagers and very committed city guards. Also are a sword wielding sneaky wizard person. But best of all, you can make your character’s face look however you want. According to my research, if you are high, this is the part you will get stuck in. The game opens, you break out of jail, and you create your character. But before you break out of jail, that’s where the fun begins and never stops.

Also if you ever bother to play the game beyond this point you will lovingly lose yourself in it. If you get it on PC, you can also change up the game with hundreds of great mods. For the uninitiated “mods” means “breasts”.

Any game with the word “Katamari” in the title

There’s either 8 or a billion versions of this game, but there are at minimum 10. They all work, they’re all the same. The king of the universe tasks you to push a tiny sticky ball around a populated, DVD quality version of the Proteus world, and roll the ball around as it picks up everything from thumb tacks, to cats, to human homes, mountains, and beyond. It is absurd and colorful, and the soundtrack is literally series of relentlessly happy big Vegas showroom songs dedicated to the love and wonder that is Katamari. They are also genuinely catchy. Aside from the wanton destruction and disregard for the living things in this giant ball (the balls get turned into stars, long story), it is just a great big smile.

Paratopic

“Well, yes” you say, “but what if I want to be in a David Lynch movie?”

I give thee Paratopic, a huanting, 45 minute dream logic simulation that allegedly also tells a story. It’s a trip, and I don’t want to spoil this for you. More weird than scary. Do your thing, pay the seven bucks or whatever for this game, turn off the lights, put on headphones, and dive in. Trust me, it’ll be real weird.

Kind Words

Or you know what? Maybe you don’t even like video games, you just like lo-fi hip hop and saying nice things to strangers. Maybe you also like receiving nice notes from strangers. Perhaps you would even like those nice things to be delivered to you by a deer. All this plus decorating your room and no more can be yours with “Kind Words”. Feeling lonely? Some strangers (usually several) will write a bit of comfort right back to you. I have spent a few hours speaking to people’s worries and receiving their anonymous support. I have found shockingly zero toxicity along the way. Be nice, check it out.

Everything

I almost didn’t include this game because it’s actually the best game to play on acid. I’ve never done LSD, but I imagine this would buh-maze my eyeballs and brain. You play as...well, everything. A herd of buffalo, some clouds, and even a rock. You move as whatever group you are, rolling around in about 3 frames of animation, as Alan Watts poems are read to you. You can even set the game on automatic and just...watch. It’s deep thinking with no effort, which is a hallmark of marijuana culture. Say it. Say “whoa”. Now say it again. Congratulations, you are playing ‘Everything’.

Happy new year, everybody.

[stuffminusthings]

Cooke City is a Nightmare.

There will come a point, Captain Throttlecock, when your lactic acid shocked forearms will unexpectedly shiver just a bit while hoisting a first drink at the Miner's Saloon in Cooke City, Fucking, Montana. Elevation's lack of oxygen makes this mistakenly feel like triumph, or manliness, or maybe just a little bit of your mojo that left when Becky did. Sure, you hit 12'o' clock summiting over Daisy Pass, and the only casualty you suffered was a pulled muscle from clenched butt cheeks. You've got so much track speed you can pow turn on roads. To top off the excitement, you drove your sled right to the front door of the god damn bar. Cooke City is a proving ground. You're here, but you're not conquering.

Swimming in a sea of Gore Tex, surfing on solar panels, silently swishing your way skyward to summits. Sweat summons success. Or so you think, you silly skier. Sure, soulfully stomping skin tracks from your sprinter-based living situation is serious, sorta. Social Media made you do it. The sledders same spasm happens while snapping a selfie of suffering in the Miner's Saloon.

That little twitch isn't a sign of success, rather it's the first way your body is telling you that it's time to go home, because Cooke City, Fucking, Montana, is fucking terrible.

It doesn't matter how you got here, you started making mistakes as soon as you entered the park, during the day time. Yellowstone National Park's primary four legged attraction is the bison. Thanks to roads crisscrossing their natural habitat, they seem limitless in the park. These enormous, lumbering beasts aren't dangerous because of their size, or their tendency to be on the roadways. They're dangerous because Iphones make it hard to steer while braking and brakes are applied often. It's nobody's fault, the earliest human graphic representations of anything are bison and buffalo. It's as human as sin to make a buffalo picture. So drive Yellowstone at night, when the bison take on an important property. They become nearly invisible, and therefore less likely to cause Eileen Jenson with a twitchy foot from Arkansas to suddenly slam on the brakes. Sure the shiny silver dollar eyed motherfuckers are more active at night, popping out of bushes en masse at close range in a horrifying stampede-styled Frogger game, but they're still less dangerous than Eileen and that eight-sled trailer isn't stopping any faster than the doobie-passing #vanlife 'rs when a rare “sleeping buffalo” shows up in range of the viewfinder.

There are two options for lodging in Cooke City, Fucking, Montana, and they only disappoint.

All those bloggers telling you to live in the dump are either already living in the dump, or have never stayed. For starters, you'll probably finding yourself waking up to Madonna's Greatest Hits every morning because a leather jacket wearing pirate is already camped there and doesn't care if your sprinter isn't soundproof. Only one-in-five pee spots in every sled trailer parking spot is human, the rest belonging to the free form pack of local dogs that all rip harder than you do. And it's a dump. And in the spring, there are bears.

But let's say that your 42-sled mega trailer from Calgary doesn't include sleeping accommodations so you and you're 44 other friends all rent out rooms at one of the many fine hotels. You'd be all set to live out your perfect Post Apocalyptic Snowmobile roll out into the great wild unknown would be perfect except for the fact that there is a group of twenty something dirt bags who managed to claw there way out of the dump partying in the parking lot making a mockery of every last grim look of determination you have while changing a belt out 45 minutes from now. They're crowded around an ever growing pile of empty booze bottles because they know something you don't.

The skiing or sledding in Cooke City, Fucking, Montana is either too dangerous, or already fucked.

When the snow is “good” it's impossible to find anything that hasn't been hit already by people that actually know what they're doing. If you're a sledder, some asshole skier is likely to drop in above your high-marks. If you're a skier, every single run out is carved up with sled tracks. No matter how serious you are, the leather-jacket-wearing miscreants living in the dump are doing it better, and waking up later.

You'd be able to tell if you could check your social media, but you pretty much need to be a pro to get the wifi passwords, and there's no service otherwise. Your best bet for entertainment is to watch confused vision questers with eyes glued to their GPSs buck their cars wildly on snowmobile ruts while attempting to drive to Red Lodge.

Which brings your twitchy, weak forearms to the Miner's Saloon where your hand-spun, reservoir-tipped crown of confusion really begins to shine.

The four girls at the left of the bar next to the jukebox will be the only women in the bar. They do all the things you wish girls in Owatonna, Minnesota do. And here they are, in your mecca. But here's the thing, they all know you're sitting there getting drunk enough to talk to them. It doesn't help that you've always dreamed of meeting a girl like this. To her, you're the exact same person who was here last week. If you were to stay here passed this coming Sunday you'd be forced to fight a carbon copy of yourself for the right to exist in the same universe. Sure your dad always wanted his ashes spread on Lulu pass, but the snow is starting to turn black, and quite frankly, you're glossy-eyed memories are sootier than your 2-stroke on the snowscape.

Go Home.

It's 10 Fucking Thirty and the bartender can't stand stand a 6'th hour of your big-group-plastic-cup-cheersing, bro-hugging, bad song playing bull shit. He can't serve anyone because he's too busy skipping the next song on a jukebox where metal music has already been removed. No, you can't stay, and no, Can I Kick It? did not just start playing inside of the doors you are being pushed out of.

Don't look up to see the stars bouncing light off the peaks where someone has already shot a time lapse and expect anything but a dizzy feeling, because even the stars in Cooke City, Fucking, Montana, are terrible.