#so far ive just made instrumental stuff!

[acatpiestuff]

tried my hand at creating a song :] i used a poem i made a few years ago as the lyrics! I know,, very "person with access to a ukulele" of me

[vyl3tpwny]

do you have a preferred method to get vsts and other such instruments for a DAW?? im poor as heck and dont know ANYTHING about piracy, im so scared of getting goobered by people on the internet

i wish i knew more about the best go-to sites for pirating rn unfortunately i have no clue. ppl on the internet can have such shit intentions too so i dont even know where to look or who to ask. but also here's some free + VERY cheap things u may consider (below the break):

vital synth (i will always shill for vital bc i use it constantly and its free lol)

ob-xd synth (it says buy for $49, but the free download is on the left. the buy link is just a donate)

klanghelm plugins (all these are made by one dude. mjuc is a great vintage style compressor, the dc8c is a pretty featured compressor for the price, sdrr has a particularly nice tube saturation/distortion, and vumt is a great metering plugin, i have vumt on every single project since 2019)

analog obsession (if you donate $5 to their patreon you can get every single plugin they make. also all made and maintained by one person. lots of different things, so i recommend just downloading everything and exploring the functions of the plugins)

tokyo dawn labs (all very high quality mixing stuff. they have free versions of most of their premium stuff and they're quite featured despite being free. ez.)

kilohearts (they recently made all their main effects free. and if you want their flagship stuff, its all rent-to-own as well.)

sforzando (soundfont player. if you dont know what soundfonts are, theyre essentially really condensed, lightweight sampled instruments. they can often sound rlly cheap or tacky [which might be good, i definitely love that sound] but just install this and google [instrument] soundfont and just find lots of free instruments that way)

togu audio line (some free effects and instruments if you scroll down. but i also recommend TAL Sampler if you want a cool sampler and can afford it)

meldaproduction (has a free plugin suite. theres an annoying watermark at the bottom for free versions, but everyone understands. shit is expensive)

native instruments (they have the komplete start bundle which is just a bunch of free decent stuff)

musicradar FREE SAMPLES (ive sworn by a few of the sample resources that i've gotten from musicradar as far back as 2011 lol)

looperman FREE SAMPLES (looperman is a user-sourced sample website where ppl upload samples they've made* and you can just download and use them for free. sometimes people request specific credit, so check for that if you can. *NOTE: its very possible for people to upload unlicensed samples or stuff they didn't make so use your best judgement when sorting through stuff)

freesound FREE SAMPLES (freesound rules always reliable)

synth1 (AHHHH IM SO HAPPY I CAN RECOMMEND THIS RIGHT NOW!!!! synth1 used to be abandonware but was finally picked up again and is supported by modern systems once more. i used this religiously from 2013-2017. and i'm going to start using it again honestly)

valhalladsp (this is the only exclusively premium thing i'm going to leave in this thread [aside from bitwig, below], but it's just that god damn good. every plugin of theirs is $50, so if you can manage to go for ValhallaVintageVerb and/or ValhallaDelay you will basically never need another reverb/delay ever again; would recommend NOT pirating from them if you can help it bc theyre definitely a very small company but u know.. ur call)

bitwig (if you need a DAW, i can now heartily recommend Bitwig. it's on the rent to own program through splice if you're ok getting it legally...)

—

i know this isnt what u asked but i hope its still helpful. i've also rescinded my recommendations for spitfire audio bc the company was revealed to be run by a bunch of queerphobic knuckleheads. everything in this list i have personally used for my own music and can vouch for them from actual experience (YES even bitwig, i made the song "Futura" on Carousel exclusively with Bitwig, making it the first time i've made an entire song outside of Ableton since 2014).

again i hope this helps, forgive me for not knowing enough about pirating at the moment 😭 please make so much music and please look at this animal:

[observancesys]

Hold on, how many other gay people have recommended Will Wood to you?

... and how many of those recommendations included In Case I Make It,? If you haven't heard it yet, please do try out Becoming the Lastnames, at least once. Otherwise, uh, shame on me for being a gay people that recommends Will Wood.

quite a few. you're one of the main recurring advocates, but it's not like i can escape cultural osmosis from various other angles - youtube, folks on other servers, etc.

anyways, i just went and listened to it. elton john-ass song. it's well made - mr. wood clearly knows what he's doing in quite a few different genres, his voice is even and expressive and the instrumentation, while it gets a little bit repetitive in terms of musical format, is very well made.

it's Technically very sound... but idk, it just doesn't really stick with me. the message of 'damn ive had such a crazy party life and im so Fucked Up but i just wanna settle down and have a domestic life w/ kids', even if its self-aware about what it is, has still been done before. will's definitely quite good at what he makes but thus far none of his songs have really been my style - not this, not i/me/myself, not some of his more chaotic stuff like... song with five names, i believe it was

idk. sorry to disappoint

[obsoleteozymandias]

HIIII is it okay if i ask for a twst matchup? im a big fan of ur blog!! :3

so a bit about me, im a she/her but honestly i don't mind any pronouns, my gender expression is all over the place and i like experimenting a lot!

im an optimistic and sensitive person and i always try my best to be kind, polite and friendly towards everyone. being all happy and sunshine-y comes naturally to me 😼 i can be a bit moody due to my social anxiety but i try really hard to just be myself and do whatever i want, regardless of what other people might think of me😇😇

im creative and curious and i like having fun!!! my friends often describe me as weird, but like in a good way, as if im some strange whimsical creature. im super artsy and express my weird style proudly, both in the way i dress and how i present myself ‼️‼️‼️ i know physical appearance probably doesn't matter, but for a long while ive had a buzz cut despite being very feminine otherwise :3 fun times. nowadays im trying to grow a mullet

hobbieees. oh i have many. overall i enjoy anything crafty that requires using my hands, so i spend my free time drawing, building stuff, playing instruments, sewing clothes or plushies. i like to study, both for school and to satiate my personal curiosity on random topics :Dddd i also really like the outdoors and often explore new local and even far away places just for the fun of it ✌️ i constantly try new things and activities and just try to live my life to the fullest

i like nature, art, animals, bugs. iam a huge bug lover. the stranger the bug the better 🙏💞 i like learning new things, i like space, horror movies, sweet food, music, mangos, flowers, funky earrings. i like a lot of things.... on the other hand there's not much things i dislike, except for the usual like.... idk bad people, hate, drama. but yeah everyone dislikes that. specific things that i don't like however are getting yelled at, being babied/underestimated and having to deal with ppl who are way too pessimistic. it can be exhausting!!

there aren't any characters i wouldn't want to be matched up with, but my favs are floyd, malleus, jack and sebek if that helps! 🥳

ok this was really long 💔 thank u for reading it all!!! hope u have a great day!!! 💫

My first fan! Your reward: the satisfaction of knowing I’m twisting my hair and kicking my feet and giggling while I read this. Also, apologies for the delay.

== Twisted Wonderland ==>

I match you up with…

Lilia Vanrouge 

Pre-relationship:

Lilia is glad to have another sunshine-y person around such a dour school. You two are fast friends, and he wonders if you wouldn’t be better suited to RSA what with your kindness and positivity. 

Regardless, he’s glad to have made such a lovely friend. 

He’s your number one fan when it comes to embracing your hobbies or weirdness. He does the same, and so the two of you spend a lot of time talking about your passions and exploring new things together. 

He buys you strange clothes and trinkets all the time, like a crow collecting shiny things. Some of the stuff he brings you is truly strange, and you’re not sure how he got his hands on it…but it’s the thought that counts, right? 

He will 100% want you involved in the pop music club, whether that’s playing an instrument or making posters. He just likes having you around whenever he can; you’re like a ray of sun to him. 

Confession: 

Lilia denied his feelings for you at first. He knew that his history was violent and much longer than yours, and he felt that he could never expose you to that part of himself. 

But one way or another, you find out, and when you accept and embrace him, I imagine he feels such love and affection for you that he almost confesses right there and then. 

He takes his time to plan the confession: taking you on a trip to see something cool, and then asking at just the right moment, like the romantic he is. 

Relationship:

Lilia would want to take you to see the world with him. You two would spend all vacations in different countries and cities, taking in the world and spending all of your time together. 

Some dates are just the two of you staying home and learning together, though. If one of you sees something they’re interested in, the whole evening can be spent learning about it side by side, exchanging kisses between paragraphs and documentaries. 

The best part of the relationship is that you and Lilia push eachother to experience new things, whether that be you showing him creepy bugs, or him taking you skydiving. 

You two never fail to bring out the best in one another, and have so much fun along the way. 

[rathologic]

it’s me again! thank you so much for your response on my first ask!

so, my next question is this: what does the Town do for more, like, advanced medical stuff? because you don’t need high tech for some ailments, such as stitching wounds and setting bones, and a few illnesses can be made out just through visible symptoms.

but what about things like stomach pumping? X-rays? stuff like that? would the Town have it, or would that be too “modern”?

i know the Town has IVs (at least, i think those were IVs in P2), and Rubin seems to have a bit of a more “modern” look to his lab, but i’m not sure how far that “modernness” extends.

I generally go by "if the doctors in Town aren't using it under the critical circumstances in-game, it doesn't exist" - the bachelor points out that he doesn't have adequate instrumentation, and the haruspex was sent out of the town to study modern techniques in the first place. the Town is also pre-electric so that's not a point in favor of complex equipment... here's my review of stuff that we Can find

the Haruspex has an alembic, which is used for distillation, and another thing - a brewing tank in 2, but its patho1 equivalent looks more like another kind of separatory device (note the spouts at differing heights) and its tooltip is just [Mixture]. I would guess this is rockable along the support rod, used 2 mix or separate fluids

isidor's house doesn't have much of any equipment but this second thing, which I can't quite place - it also looks like a separatory device but is hand-cranked. (alembic pic also inserted so it's not huge)

medical equipment provided in 2's theatre is overwhelmingly "tins of unknown substance" which are likely to reflect the prevalence of herbal medicines. & yeah, these are IVs formed from what looks like a waterskin and needle (of absurd gauge! mamma mia! I hope it's just that large so it shows up on the game screen)

I was surprised while checking locations for this that rubin's crappy p2 hideout has literally no instrumentation, he has a bonesaw and a water pump and a couple of cans/packages laying around. afaik he doesn't even make the vaccine in p2 which tracks with that :-( but in p1, he has visible a microscope, scale, sealable fluid tanks, and a variety of glassware: test tubes with racks, and stoppered Erlenmeyer and cylindrical flasks of multiple sizes. which is a lot more than dankovsky has (only a microscope + tubes). speaking of microscopes, the way their UI works in-game confirms that blood samples are not centrifuged so a lot of modern techniques aren't going to be applicable.

anyway for advanced stuff I think people just died unfortunately.

[meatsex]

hey look i got a bunny :3

and some questions for ya (answer as many or as few as you want, no pressure!)

fav song?

fav red vox/vine song?

fav nin song?

fav nirverner song?

what's a weird piece of trivia you can't let go of?

what's something that made you smile in the past week?

if you had to compete in a sport/athletic activity, what would it be?

ik you like the meat aesthetic visually, but what other sense aesthetics do you vibe with? like, i really like the scent of coconut and the sound of metallic clanking and heat (this might be a really autistic question sorry)

do you prefer tv or movies and why?

is anime real?

do you believe love can blossom on the battlefield?

is there another light?

what's one thing in your room that's got a lot of sentimental value (story is optional but i love to read)

do you play any musical instruments?

do you have a favorite flower?

would you rather lose all your teeth once a year or all your toenails?

do you have any tips for someone about to go on t? i have an appt next week and i'm nervous...

what's one game you played as a kid that you're still fond of?

best month?

oh mein gott what a beautiful creature.. i hope you can bond with them nicely, they are so cute, they got a really interesting pattern that i dont see often but also im not that knowledgeable about rabbit breeds

im actually gonna answer a good amount of these wait

this is too hard but its probably close to meltdown/roshin yukai by irohasasaki (id say other songs but ill answer that with the next questions)

memories lie :') but also me oh well

closer (yes even after listening to so much of trents music), but also ruiner and a warm place (all from tds lol)

so far, dumb

trivia: in the game california speed one of the billboards has a strange message that says "sometimes, god takes mommies and puppies away, and sometimes, just sometimes, i do", supposedly it was just a placeholder texture but they forgot to remove it in the final release

i literally lol'ed and lmao'ed and smiled at vdub stream yesterday

i wish i could feel water more often outside of showers, its really comforting to me, i think i should incorporate it more in my art, i also miss the ghastly sounds of old crt tvs, i think all the other stuff i like is visual like rust and repetition/mirror images

movies are better because i cant commit to series anymore

anime is real as long as you keep believing in the true anime girls

yes

yes, i want to believe vinnys words

i have a postcard from the nc zoo that my friend macaulay sent me, also i keep tickets for every movie ive watched with my friends, im sure i have more stuff but a lot of it is in boxes

i dont but i wish i played bass (guitar)

i dont know flowers really other than knowing i like the yellow of sunflowers

that is scary

i sadly do not because i havent started hrt yet, however i wish you the best of luck, from what ive seen its not as scary as it may seem or sound

doom :)

september

[wildwren]

okay okay okay oKAY first thoughts after episode 1:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

no but i really really REALLY love it so far, honestly this is giving everything i want from a tom jones adaptation, the casting is GREAT, the pacing and tone is working (A FEAT), the cinematography is GORGEOUS and the SCORE, well... more on that later

i thought the prologue was pretty expertly done, imo it's one of the hardest parts of the narrative to have land in adaptations because its a very long prologue which makes for an awkward start to the story but i feel like they rendered it punchily without losing its essence

SOPHIA SOPHIA SOPHIA SOPHIA SOPHIA SOPHIAAAAA --- my GOD she is PERFECT literally Sophie Wilde is channeling that character and then some to such exquisite levels i am in AWE. i think the changes they've made to her backstory are working so far and they've already added a lot of extra subtext to the squire western / sophia relationship that will (hopefully) pay off later. the squire western of it all is one of THE most confounding and frustrating parts of the novel and there are c e r t a i n l y a lot of ways this depiction could go south based on the choices they've made but im currently tentatively hopeful. i have so so much more to say about Sophia it will need to take the form of several essay-long posts

the Molly Seagrim of it all will also require its own post but I do feel like they did the best they could with what they had to work with. from the novel, the Molly Seagrim stuff is straight up not good, like it straight up just sucks and Fielding should feel bad about it and i dont know how you could drastically change it without entirely re-writing the character. in some ways i wish they had given her a bit more gravitas, like i think her arc would work best as a dramatic rather than a comic arc but also this is the nature of the beast...

the tom and sophia of it all is going to straight up murder me like i am going to straight up DIE HAVE I TOLD YOU ALL THAT IVE WRITTEn THE OnLY TOM JOnES X SOPHIA FIC On AO3 FOR HEnRY FIELDInG'S nOVEL AnD IM ABOUT TO WRITE THE nEXT 50???????

a small thing but they are clearly referencing some visual elements of both the 1963 film and the BBC adaptation while creating their own distinctive style and i love it. the saturation of the cinematography is so good and is exactly how i always imagined it in my head

THE SCOREEEEEE -- okay the score is DELIGHTFUL and i think its one of their ways to render the tone of Fielding's narration which, despite his great and many flaws as an author, is truly the heart and soul of the novel. the lively and expression instrumentation which flows like speech around the dialogue of the actors YES thats IT !!!! thats the Fielding of it all!!!! Doing these sorts of textural things and giving the actual narration to Sophia is SO MUCH BETTER than casting some guy to play Henry Fielding and talk at the audience between frames (LOOKInG AT YOU BBC).

i have so many more thoughts but literally no one cares except @aadmelioraa so i will temporarily shut up

[sillybeansss]

YOU MENTIONED YOUR SCHOOL DID WHAT????, MUSICALS????,STARTS LAUHING MANIACALLY (i am so jealous of you…what do you mea your school does musicals?? how come mine doesnt do that…)

also, yeahh, i can understand how the kids can ruin the school. not going to lie, i used to hate my school a lot to the point i would constantly talk about transferring. i merely dislike it now, ive sort of made peace with the fact that this has to be my school for at least one more year before i move…

it was mostly the kids. i was constantly getting teased and im not the best with ridicule. but i dont really hang around those people anymore and just keep to myself so. and i have made a few friends which i am proud of!!

though that isnt exactly the only reason. i just really dislike the principle, staff and school system overall. the only part of the staff i like are probably the afterschool…supervisors??? dunno what to call them. also the lunch ladies are nice. AND THE TEACHERSSSS I ALWAYS GET SO ATTACHED TO THE TEACJER HUT I WILL ADMIT SOME TEACHERS ARE ALSO HORRIBLE!!! like my math teacher!!! she was kind of my whole downfall but i wont get into that. sorry to hear the kids at your schools are jerks though!! it happens at times, really the best thing to do is ignore them. surround yourself with good people and stuff! 

omgg…the lower campus of my school had an auditorium and we were supposed to perform an end of the year play and. GUESS WHAT. IT NEVER HAPPENED???? I HAD ONE OF THE MAIN ROLES TOO. not that i wanted it, because i was an ungrateful brat and i wanted something with a little less lines but i guess it didnt matter in the end. SIGHH. 

annie and charlie brown are amazing though i wish i could see them…ough,,, the things one wants the most 💔

ooh ive heard of band!!! i think i have a couple of band kid friends…or at least one…and yall are living my dream not going to lie. the only instrument i can play is the flute but its alright because were there to learn amirite…(id probably get so embarrassed for messing up once but its alright i would still love it)

and can i just say i LOVE THE SAX??!?! I LOVE SAXOPHONES SO MUCH…too bad i cant play any wood wind instrument that isnt the flute (and i lost the hook)…or any instrument at all…

maybe i should pick up piano but im really lazy

ive only ever seen one musical but im really fixated on it (i think im slowly losing said fixation though due to hetalia. uh oh) and it was AMAZING(??? it was so cool i loved it im so glad i was introduced to musicals with that specific one…ALSO DONT WORRY ABOUT YAPPING!!! im yapping even more so really i should be the one feeling guilty here…um. sorry,,,

ALSO!!! good luck on your next concert!!!! i hope it goes tremendously well :D

(again, wish i were there to see it 💔)

~🫶🏽🎳

Im happy school has become less of a hate and more of a dislike but i wanna say I'm proud of you for making it so far already dude!! :3 hopefully things will gradually get better and WHAT!!! WHY WOULD THEY NOT DO IT THAT'S SO LAMEE!!!! I bet you would've done great in that role dude

And I think you should pursue piano tbh I play percussion I'm not the best at keyboard percussion/piano stuff but it looks fun and I'm sure with some practice you'll be able to figure out the notes and try playing songs yk? Starts small and simple and continue gradually!! Instruments take time and lots of practice but I understand what you mean about being lazy I think the only reason why I'm not so good about keyboard percussion is because I don't practice too often,,,

And the guys at my school SUCKKKK but I do try to ignore them when I can they just get under my skin/make me pissed off but my friends make school worth it yk? I try and be open-minded about school when I can cause optimism usually makes me happy (obv I think)

And Annie was the first musical I've seen irl it was FIREEE Oml I loved the music!! ^_^ and personally my favorite musical is Heather's,,, I think its just cause it was one of the first musical I heard about and it's stuck with me for YEARS!!!

[localsurburbangoth]

11/16/2024

I've decided to start blogging about my life. Maybe I'm inspired after watching Julie&Julia, but maybe I'm just alone. I've recently started college and by recently I mean a few months ago. The end of 1st semester is aproaching and Ive gone thru 2 roomates. One left because of our annoying suitemates who pick fights over imaginary stuff (good for her for leaving) My 2nd one is currently moving in with her whole family. I'm sitting in the campus center writing this.

I've lost all my forms of creavity due to college. Perhaps its because i have chosen to be a woman in STEM, surrounded by a bunch of boys pretending to be men. The only thing Im holding on to is my feminity. I used to hate it, but ive fallen in love with dressing up for no reason. Wearing skirts to a CS lecture causes some stares but also a few smiles from the only other girls.

I joined the radio station at my uni. It's very fun and I feel comfortable around the people there. I work production when I'm not on air. We had a band record an in-studio a few weeks ago. I helped set up their mics and instruments. it reminded me how much I missed working in tech for my high schools theatre. I have a slot on Tuesdays from 2-3 right after my lecture. I've only had 2 shows but so far I've been playing goth music. Working here as made me widen my music and find smaller artists, it provides me something to look forward to every week! The whole station is going bowling tomorrow!

College has been very isolating. i love being alone but college is isolating me in ways I didn't know was possible. I don't like going out but I like having stuff to do. I go to little events on campus. I have people who are friendly with me but I am not their first choice. They have friends, their suite is a whole friend group. My suite hotboxes the bathroom and has nothing in common with me. I want someone who will pick me. I want to be a first choice.

I'm tired. No amount of sleep can change it. My soul is tired. I can't wait to go home for break but also I hate my family. I isolated myself there do, the only difference between then and now is that I chose to do it.

Hopefully, I can continuing doing this. Is there even an audience for this kinda stuff?

[cromerholt]

1, 10, and 16!

1. Favorite song right now

obsessed with China White by He Is Legend right now. ive liked pretty much everything ive heard by these guys so far but this song.. oo it Hits. its just got a little bit of a different energy to a lot of their other stuff. Real Good.

10. Song from the decade you were born

I DON'T KNOW any songs from 2000 without really going and digging through my library🙈 so im gonna fudge it a lil bit and do a song written in 2000. VCG3 by Rx Bandits! its got it all. ska punk instrumentals. prog rock structure. lyrics about Revolution. made in a lab for me basically.

16. Song you recently discovered

All Hands by Protest the Hero! On a real Protest the Hero kick lately. i listened to this album a bunch the past couple weeks its realll good but This song in particular just Does it for me.. definitely one of the greatest songs about the 1919 boston molasses flood ever written.

[d-criss-news]

The Glee star and Emmy winner for The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, Darren Criss, 34, will be releasing his first album of Christmas songs, titled A Very Darren Crissmas (October 8). It includes duets with Adam Lambert, Evan Rachel Wood and an original song, “Drunk on Christmas,” featuring Lainey Wilson.

What was your goal with this Christmas album?

To reintroduce familiar songs in a new way. But I also wanted to take lesser-known songs and make those feel more familiar. And, most importantly, I wanted to take songs that people don’t associate with Christmas but I do—like Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”—and try to make them feel like Christmas songs.

What inspired you to write “Drunk on Christmas”?

It’s about the end of Christmas when everything’s been done. There’s wrapping on the floor, you’ve cleaned things, the in-laws have left and there’s nothing else to do. It’s two people having a sit-on-the couch moment, sipping a glass of cocoa with some SoCo [Southern Comfort] in it.

What is it about Christmas music? Why did you want to do the Christmas album?

Christmas or the holiday season is something that, whether we like it or not, we experience every year, and that comes with a litany of wonderful songs and music that again, whether you have been proactive about listening to it or not, it’s pretty hard to avoid. It’s permeated our cultural consciousness for our entire lives. So if you happen to be someone like me who consumes music at a hyperactive level, I’ve always adored Christmas music.

People say this because of the way that it makes them feel and the things that it reminds them of. There are so many layers to why people enjoy Christmas music. It’s nostalgic, it is very romantic, at least in the true dictionary meaning of the word romantic. And to me, I’ve always loved it for a much more anthropological reason, which is for one month or several weeks out of the year we suddenly subscribe to a certain sentiment that the other 11 we don’t really dial into. We want it all, then we want it to just go away.

What makes Christmas songs different?

As a musician I’ve always loved that Christmas music can employ certain musical elements that otherwise aren’t very popular. To me, it’s incredible that without a doubt the estates of many artists are guaranteed placement on the radio even though many of them have been deceased for many years. The pop charts are dominated by whatever contemporary, awesome artists there are nowadays, but in December you can guarantee that Burl Ives and Dean Martin will be on the radio with the best of them. I find that so charming. It’s because people really, really love this music.

And those songs don’t sound like the sounds that we’re hearing on the radio, sonically, harmonically, rhythmically. They employ a lot of “classic” sounds that evoke the feeling of Christmas. I’m a self-proclaimed genrephile—this is a term I use for myself throughout all the stuff that I do. I can’t help but be so enchanted by this idea that artists have license, and by license I mean an excuse to do things that you ordinarily wouldn’t be encouraged to do, or that audiences wouldn’t necessarily be as quick to absorb.

So, when you’re talking about classic Christmas writing, for lack of a better word, you use clichéd Christmas terminology, you use certain chords, and harmonies, and instrumentations that you just wouldn’t do throughout the year. It leans on the slightly more sophisticated, slightly more musical, and that is really exciting for someone like me.

How much does the fact that your last name is Criss play into this?

If you play music and your last name is Criss, every year someone says, “You know what you should do?” as if they’re the first person who’s ever thought of this idea. So I’ve always wanted to do this; it was just a matter of time. And I also didn’t want it to be phoned in, I didn’t want it to seem like, “Oh, here’s some songs that you know already.”

I wrote this in my liner notes that my favorite thing to do with art, but particularly music, is curate, interpolate, create and personalize. That’s my main thing. I’m an OK singer, I’m an OK musician, but what I really think I have a yen for is trying to interpolate something new that people didn’t know before.

If you think about a song like “Jingle Bells,” it was not written for Christmas. It was a song from 200-something years ago that bears no mention of Christmas whatsoever, but we associate it so heavily with Christmas. Lately I hear Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” come up on Christmas playlists. I think it must have something to do with the Christian angle of the song and the reverence of the word “hallelujah,” but there’s no mention of Christmas.

So there’s a lot of different things that can make people feel like Christmas if you arrange it a certain way, and that’s what I wanted to do. I wanted this cocktail of songs that people didn’t know and I might be able to introduce to them in a really new, interesting way.

You duet with Adam Lambert, Evan Rachel Wood and Lainey Wilson. These people couldn’t be more different. How did you select your song partners for this?

Honestly, people are busy, so I leaned on friends of mine. The album is called A Very Darren Crissmas, and I wanted to make it just that. Songs that are very, very me, doing things that are very me, and using the talents of people who are legitimately in my life. Adam has been a pal for a long time. We’ve known each other from just adventures in Hollywood, but he, of course, was on Glee with me. Evan Rachel is a dear pal of mine; we’ve done some things together. She’s played my festival, and I’ve done comedy sketches with her and stuff. These are all extraordinarily talented singers. As I told them when I asked them to be a part of it, “I’d be very lucky to have you on this record.”

I had not met Lainey Wilson before I started this. But when you’re in Nashville, you are in the Olympic tent of USDA certified prime country singers. And that’s a bit of a blind spot for me as far as who’s on the up and up, who’s somebody that can really give a level of authenticity, legitimacy to a more classic ’50s Nashville sound, which is the song that I wrote called “Drunk on Christmas.” My producer Ron Fair, who has been living in Nashville for a while, suggested Lainey and we got on like a house on fire. She’s an extraordinary talent and I was happy to have her. These were all people that were part of this grassroots friend to friend thing. That’s how I got them and I’m very lucky that they’re on the record.

There are hundreds of Christmas songs. How did you choose what to include?

Choosing was extremely hard. I had a list of about 100 songs. I’m not done; this record is only phase one in my mind. There are so many songs that it will make your head spin. If you go, “Did you think about this song?” The answer is yes, and I absolutely had to deliberate which ones I had to triage out of the sequence.

I even said no to “The Christmas Song,” which is on the album. I didn’t want to do it because I was like, “Everybody knows it; it’s perfect by Nat King Cole,” and Mel Tormé [who wrote it] is one of my favorite artists of all time, much less songwriters and musicians. So I was like, “I don’t want to have to do that.” And on the day when we were there, we just had a guitar and said, “Let’s just do it for fun,” because I love singing that song. But I was like, “It’s been done perfectly too many times, I really don’t want to have to put myself up against that.” But we had a nice take, it’s live in the room. And hey, come on, it’s Christmas. So I left it on there.

If we were to come to your house during the holidays, what would you be listening to?

I’d probably sit you down and play you my favorite songs that you’ve never heard that I think are great Christmas songs. But what’s nice is I’ve now put those songs on this album, hopefully, in a perhaps delusional effort to standardize these songs in the Christmas pantheon. There has to be an air of delusion to being an artist in the first place. If one of these songs that no one’s ever heard before catches on with a family or a person and becomes part of their Christmas playlist every year, then I will have succeeded in my efforts.

What did the Emmy you won for The Assassination of Gianni Versace do for your career?

Although the Emmy has just my name on it, the number one thing that I’m most proud of is it’s more symbolic and representative of the work of the whole team. It is a validation and celebration of the really hard work of people that I spent a lot of time and energy with creating this role.

You have a couple voice roles coming up—in Trese and Yasuke—but what are we going to see you in next, not just hear you?

I don’t know. Let me know if there’s any opportunities. A huge reason for why this album was made was because I had the time. Making records takes a lot of time, and I’m envious of people who are just singers. I don’t know how people do that, that’s just not who I am. I’m a producer, I’m a writer, I’m a musician. It takes so much out of me to make a body of music because someone doesn’t say, “OK, here are the songs, show up on a Tuesday, you sing it and then you leave.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some of my favorite artists can do that and are blessed enough to be able to just do that. I can’t.

It takes so much time for me to really get in the weeds, arrange, edit vocals, edit instrumentation, mix tracks, really getting in the jungle of music production. I can’t function any other way and that takes an extraordinary amount of time. Even when there was a global pandemic, I still had deadlines that we could barely make to finish this album because that’s just how my brain works.

So I haven’t been able to act. I haven’t had an acting job in almost two years. That’s not entirely true. I’ve had little bit things during the pandemic, but no big series or films or anything like that. It’s just been mostly working from home and being as proactive as I can be. I started a weekly podcast with a friend of mine, I put out an EP. I’ve been extremely busy with high output and low visibility. I’m waiting for the next thing, but I’m not one to sit still. If you give me time, I’m going to fill all the spaces out. So I did that with music this past two years.

Are you going to go back to Broadway now that it’s opening again?

I don’t want to say anything that is not perhaps confirmed 100 percent, but I will say with full confidence that I have always had the intention of going back exactly where we started. I’ll let them announce what’s happening because every show is in its own unique holding pattern. But, yes, right before the shutdown I was doing American Buffalo in New York, and talk about the actor’s dream, that is right up there. Doing a great American play that I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve had a long history with that show, and I finally get to do it for real with two of my favorite actors—Sam Rockwell and Laurence Fishburne. They are two acting heroes of mine.

So I was in rehearsals for that. We were about to go into tech, and things got shut down. But we’re in a very fortunate position where you’ve got two huge movie stars, you have a very well-known play and you have a fixed set and just three guys. There are musicals that have orchestras, big choruses and huge set pieces, and the overhead and upkeep of these productions is quite complicated. And a lot of them, for that reason, fell by the wayside during the pandemic, and it’s an awful tragedy. But our set and our billboard and our posters are exactly where we left them. It’s kind of a trip. If you go to Circle in the Square, I keep telling people it’s the longest I’ve ever been on Broadway because it’s just sitting there dormant, waiting to be resurrected.

I think all of us are planning on going back. I think the show is scheduled to reopen almost to the day that it was supposed to open in 2020. We’ll see how the schedule ends up, but you have three guys whose heart and soul is the theater. I don’t want to speak for the other two guys, but I’m almost positive that all three of us would rather be doing that play on Broadway than anything else. So when I say I haven’t had an acting gig in two years, it’s been a comfort to know that that was waiting for me on the other end. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ll be able to do it. We’ll have to make sure that everything is hunky-dory with theater audiences, et cetera, et cetera, but that’s the idea.

How did Ryan Murphy casting you in Glee change your life?

I said during my Emmy speech that actors are only as good as the moments they get. I used to say actors are only as good as the parts they get. Take that with a huge grain of salt, obviously, it’s not entirely true. But in context of that moment, certainly you can understand what I meant. Acting is a proactive craft, but in many respects it’s a passive career, where you have to hope and wait for a benefactor, a patron, a supporter to say, “OK, all right, kid, you’re up. I think you can do it.”

I think any artist’s life is a constant compromise between knowing what you can do and what you want to do, and having other people, audiences and creative authorities alike, have an idea of what you can do. You have to have that balance of somewhere in the middle, where hopefully you can rise to an occasion that you know you can do, that somebody’s going to give you the opportunity to do. But you’re not in control of that relationship, and so you have to sit and hope and pray that someone is going to give you that moment and that opportunity. That was something that I’m fully indebted to with Ryan.

Because he did say, “All right, kid, you’re up,” and gave me that shot. We talked about the The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story series for years before we did it. I didn’t think he was ever going to do it. By the time we started shooting, he probably mentioned it to me three or four years prior. And I kept asking about it like, “Hey, you still want to do this thing?” I think he was just always obsessed with the fact that I was half Filipino and that I bore a certain resemblance to the guy. Age and everything, it seems pretty spot-on. But he was a man of his word, and he really did end up making it. So I’m incredibly indebted to him and I’ve always been very effusive about that.

Now that you have this modicum of fame, what would you like to use it to accomplish?

For me, there are so many things that I love in this world that I don’t think other people are familiar with. One of the things about having a modicum of a platform is hopefully embracing that to use it as a gateway drug for stuff that people might not be familiar with. I don’t know if they’re going to like it as much as I do, but I’m looking at this track list and there are songs that I guarantee that you don’t know.

These are all things where I go, “OK, I have this moment of people’s attention, hopefully, this is a fun way to have them have eyes on something that I think is deserving of eyes, and not because of me, but because of other people who have made something amazing.” And, hopefully, they have the same proactive curiosity that I had growing up where I look at the liner notes and see who wrote the songs and where they came from. But we’ll see. We’ll see if people have that reaction.

You’ve accomplished so much. What’s the dream going forward?

The dream is to keep doing me, really. I think all you can do is be as true to yourself and try and do as accessible and as valuable work as you can. And, hopefully, in so doing, represent people, giving them visibility and encouragement towards their own place in the cultural conversation.

[superblondee]

🦋 Ways I Deal With My ADHD 🦋

Executive disorder:

When I absolutely HAVE to do work, like it’s due by the end of class, the biggest i way i help myself focus is by listening to music

helpful and not distracting music to listen to: lofi, instrumental, coffee shop playlists, and most indie songs have a relaxing beat and melody that won’t distract you from your work.

I highly HIGHLY recommend an app called Eggzy. you set a timer of how long you want to focus for, and depending on the time, you hatch a different animal. pictures of animals ive hatched:

I also made an easy, simple reward system for myself. for example, if I power through my bio homework, I get a popsicle. if I do the dishes within 30 minutes of my mom asking, I get another snack of my choice. food works for me personally but feel free to make your own rewards!

Oversharing:

the biggest way I help myself from oversharing over text (which is one of the easiest ways to accidentally overshare) is to constantly reread the conversation and think “is what I’m about to send relevant?” or “would it fit the flow of the conversation or would it throw the other person off” be aware of the tone of the conversation, what the other person is saying, and what their reaction to what you’re about to say might be

Oversharing in person is similar, read body language, the tone of the conversation. This also heavily depends on who you’re talking to, so keep in mind; am I close enough with this person to be saying stuff like this? or; if they said this to me, would I be uncomfortable? if the answer is yes, then you might not want to say whatever you were about to say

RSD:

As for rsd, I know it’s the bane of our existence. well that, and online math classes. ANYWAYS the MOST important thing I’ve learned is: DONT BOTTLE IT UP. this only causes for more future regret and can induce a ton of unnecessary stress. Let. It. All. Out.

I recommend journaling, whether it be on your phone or a real journal (I personally just use the notes app on my phone). When you journal, you can say whatever the fuck you want without having to worry about the repercussions. Let out your sadness, anger, all your feelings without holding back. I promise this helps release stress as opposed to hanging onto it inside your head.

Another important (and possibly the hardest) thing to remember: re-evaluate the situation as unbiased as possible. is it worth getting upset about? am I thinking too much into it? the answer a lot of the time will be yes.

for example, I get this way when a friend won’t respond within a few minutes. First step: rationalize. I often forget to respond within minutes, so I need to give my friend the same leniency she gives me. Second step: remind yourself that you have done nothing wrong. This is the hardest thing to do, I understand. But I know that my text was probably not an emergency for her to respond to, so she might not prioritize to read it right away. this. is. ok. I haven’t made her mad or upset, I haven’t annoyed her. keep this in mind.

Another way that helps me deal with rsd is keeping myself occupied. If I start to feel very sad or regretful about something, I think to myself: let’s not think about this and ruin my so far wonderful day. Journal, take a walk, read, listen to music, anything that will clear your head and stop making you unhappy.

I have certain “activities” that I know will make me instantly happy. when I’m experiencing rsd I often go find my dog and spend some time with her. She will take my mind off whatever is bothering me and will make me happy 100% of the time.

So I don’t want to make this too long so I’m cutting it off here, but please comment things I should address in my part two 😊 I hope you all find these helpful and easy to implement in your own life. And remember, NT’s don’t understand the struggles we go through. Do not let them belittle you or your achievements just because of your symptoms 💜

[susiequaz12]

Carrot Top 26- Self Betrayal

Here is part 26 of Andrew’s story, and Whumptober day 5. Carrot Boi’s masterlist is here, and his previous part is here. Prompt: Betrayal. This chapter is a bit long, it’s a little bit of a recap to all that happened, but still important to the story.

CW: bandages, unconscious whumpee, references to multiple past injuries, references to beatings, mentions of blood, possessive whumper, dehumanization.

- - -

Dr. Tusik and Justin had just finished bandaging up Andrew’s feet, when Ali and Mickie showed up into the room.

Mickie stood in the doorway, holding onto the door frame, while Ali cautiously approached the bed.

“How- how’s he doing?” She asked.

Tusik set down the roll of bandages in his hand.

“Better. Much better. We bandaged his back and his feet just fine and he’s getting an iv for some fluids right now.”

“He fell back sleep a few moments ago.” Justin added. “He’ll probably be fine, but he- he just seems so out of it-” There was a seeming hollowness to Justin’s face. A dissociation after seeing his injuries, or a mental block- to keep him from thinking about it all. He kept finding things to busy him as he spoke. Picking up a bandage and moving it around, putting random things away- “-It’s like he doesn’t know where he is, or what’s going on.”

“Justin is right.” Tusik nodded. “I’m afraid the bulk of his recovery is going to be mental. There’s only so many bandages and stitches we can use.”

Mickie stepped forward on shaky legs, her eyes not once moving off of her brother. 

“Actually- we, we had an idea about that. About how to help.”

“Go on.” Tusik stated. 

Mickie looked towards Ali as she began to explain.

“I’ve gone inside someone’s mind before. I can- sorta view their memories.” Justin came to stand near his girlfriend as she spoke, fiddling with her hands. “I don’t do it often because unless someone lets me, I have to force my way into their mind, and I- I don’t-” She breathed deeply. Justin reached down to squeeze her hand. “I don’t prefer to-But I could. With Andrew- for Andrew. I could go in his mind and be able to understand everything that happened.”

“Are you sure Vnuchka?” The Dr. set down the tool in his hand to face the girl. “You won’t overexert yourself? You’ve already done quite a bit of healing today.”

Ali returned the squeeze to Justin’s hand and nodded. 

“I- I can do it. I have to.”

Mickie nodded. “Think about it anyways- Howe was useless. He didn’t know what happened, he just patched Andrew up. If he- when he wakes up- like, fully wakes up- he’s probably not going to be the same immediately.” Mickie took a step closer to the bed and reached out her hand, but quickly pulled it back. “He might have- have triggers, or stuff that bothers him, that’ll send him back there you know? It’ll- it’ll be better if we can know what happened so that we can be careful and avoid hurting him even more.”

“You’re saying he- he might have, what? PTSD?” Justin asked.

“It’s a very real possibility, Justin.” Tusik stated. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he developed at least a bit of trauma from all that he’s been through.”

“It’ll be better for him in the long run if at least one of us knows what happened.” Ali stated. “I can do it- I’ve got the strength still.”

“Alright.” Tusik said. “Go ahead, dear.”

Ali glanced around. “I’ll need everyone to leave, please.” Reluctantly, and after some pestering, Mickie and Justin left the room. “Tusik? You too?”

The old doctor tried to protest but Ali gave him a stern look. She needed to be alone. He could leave his patient for a few moments.

“Thank you.”

“Careful vnuchka. I’ll be right outside.”

Ali nodded, and then sat on the edge of the bed. He looked so incredibly still. She glanced above his head to the wall where all his memories and keepsakes were kept. 

Posters from bands and musicals covered his walls, except for a section above the bed- that was plastered with millions of photos. Polaroids- paper cutouts, printed photos- the wall was covered with smiling faces of Ali, Justin, his mom- sisters, and everyone else he held dear. It was a menagerie of color and euphoria, plastered in a beautiful disarray. It was Andrew.

Ali took a closer look, and let her eyes linger on the memories. 

There was that photo he’d taken of her covered in popcorn during their first movie night. She had woken up with kernels still in her hair the next morning- they were in seventh grade. A couple pictures of him and his sisters lined the walls. One of them he had Mickie on his back, and was holding Erika in his arms. They were all smiling. 

And then there were those of all three of them. Him, Ali, and Justin. When Justin finally opened up to them and became more of a close friend during high school- That trip they took to the amusement park. Ali had a giant stuffed bear in her arms and a hat falling over her eyes, with a boy on either side of her, kissing her cheeks. The two of them had tried for hours competing to win her something from the carnival games. They finally decided to work together, and had stuffed themselves in a photo booth afterwards to document the event.

She wiped away a happy tear from the memory and pulled out her phone, a song coming to her mind.

It was one Andrew always sang. The notes resting easy in his voice, the melody fairly simple. He wasn’t an astounding singer, but he never sounded bad.

The first notes of the piano started echoing, the chords resonating around the room, and Ali breathed.

The moments when Ali had previously entered someone’s mind had been rare occasions. It had only been used in the past for interrogation, or during her training. Never for something this serious. 

The room was clear. The noise of the piano cutting through the eerie silence, and she wished that she had kept everyone else in the room- but she could focus better this way.

He was so still- lying there on top of his blankets. 

She tried not to look at him too much. She would be already seeing far more than she wanted to know.

She gently pulled herself up onto the bed next to him so they were laying side by side. Her mind instantly flashed to those nights in the summer in high school where they would lay like this and look at the stars. 

She reached over and gently grabbed his frail hand in hers. His fingers were limp and cold, but she held tight. She tilted her head to the side until it was brushing up against his, and closed her eyes, right as the singer began to echo the words to the song.

Here I am, Here I am. And the light, is dying.

Ali felt guilt.

She felt Andrew’s guilt. And he felt terrible. 

Ali would admit that he had said some hurtful things to her and Justin that night. But nothing felt worse than knowing they could’ve prevented what happened to him.

She could understand that he sincerely believed he had angered his friends, and that because of that, he deserved every single thing that happened to him.

That belief was prominent and clear throughout his whole captivity.

And then Ali felt dread. 

That sinking feeling in your gut as something terrible happens, as you get in trouble, or in a situation more terrible than you thought.

Ali felt that pit in her stomach as Andrew was grabbed out of the alleyway. As he was shoved down, restrained, knocked unconscious, and dragged to the man they all hated the most.

Where are you? Where are you? Will you answer me?

And then there was anger. 

As Andrew stood in front of that terrible man. 

Anger, as he was beaten with a rod, and humiliated. 

Ali watched, as Splice made him choose between his instruments of pain. She felt anger rise in herself as her friend was electrocuted. And then, as he was tied up and whipped. Even more, as Splice continued to utilize his library of torment, in just the first few hours of his arrival. 

She felt the pain in her shoulders and neck, as he was stretched, and tied down in a torturous position, and left there. 

She could feel in her chest as Andrew’s anger turned to confusion, which turned to fear, and then just the will to survive, and remember to breathe. But her anger remained.

That anger bubbled inside her like the blood that broke to the surface of his skin, bubbling, with every word that man spoke. Every touch, every glance, every weapon.

“I want to hear you beg.”

“You’re not that pathetic, are you?”

“You will listen, when I tell you to do something, understand?”

The anger grew inside of Ali as she felt, saw, and witnessed everything that happened to Andrew, but this was just the beginning.

All alone, in the quiet. And my ears, are thirsty.

For a brief spark, there was hope. 

She witnessed as Andrew met the young doctor, and felt just a little safer with him.

But then that hope was crushed. Again, and again.

Ali seemed like she was sitting in the room with Andrew, where he lie on the bed next to Howe. But she was floating, just observing everything, helpless, as she watched and witnessed. 

Splice approached Andrew where he lay, and she could feel the fear behind his eyes, but there was stubbornness etched onto his face.

She clenched her fists and bit into her cheeks as she tried to remain calm. She had to stay calm- or she would be forced out of Andrew’s mind. But it grew increasingly more difficult the more and more Splice taunted him. 

“I gave you a gift. You need to respond politely. Come on now, use your manners.”

Andrew was screaming.

“What do you say?”

There were tears down his face.

He submitted.

And Ali felt betrayal.

She felt Andrew’s betrayal as he had turned against himself, and his desire to stay strong. But he had betrayed the one thing he had told himself he wouldn’t do. He no longer felt strong.

For your voice- for your voice Can you answer me?

The next events Ali witnessed were crushing- literally.

Her fists shook as he remained defiant, refusing to break. As his head was slammed into the table, blood pouring down his face.

He was grabbed and dragged outside, tied down onto a table.

Her head reeled as she tried to maintain the connection- her anger was growing.

“I will make you apologize.”

“Screw you.”

Andrew couldn’t breathe. Ali could feel the panic rising in his chest as he tried to flow the air through his lungs. 

That panic lead to fear- which led to pain- which led to desperation.

And he betrayed himself once more.

If I try, maybe I can see your shadow In the sodium light that masquerades as moon If I try, I might take off like a sparrow And I'll travel along a guiding breeze

Three words echoed through his brain. It sounded like a megaphone, bouncing off of empty walls. The words reverberated through Ali’s mind. Each time they were repeated, she felt Andrew lose a little more of himself.

“I. Own. You.”

And the next words that repeated further solidified that in Andrew’s mind.

“Who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“What are you?”

“A tool. Used how you see fit.”

“Where, and when?”

“Here, and for forever.”

“And lastly, why?”

“Because I deserve it. Because I’m worthless.”

“That’s right. This is no longer your life- but mine.”

Very soon, very soon That's the sound of longing Are you there? Are you there? Will you answer me?

Ali was losing the connection. She had felt so angry and frustrated, and sad and disgusted, that she felt herself slipping from Andrew’s mind. The faint sound of a clarinet in the background echoed through the song, and she fought to keep the connection.

She could tell she was almost done- she just had to finish.

Andrew was collared, muzzled, beaten, bloody, and broken. 

He had betrayed himself, and fully gave in.

The pain became too much, the constant battle between himself, and that man. So he gave up. And Ali could see him slowly becoming everything that Splice wanted him to be, doing everything he was asked, taking every punishment, submitting to every command.

“You can be good right?”

Andrew was nodding.

He was obeying, he was following, and he was slowly decaying.

In my dreams, my beloved lies beside me When the sun lights the room, I find it's only me Only me when the sun is gone.

The memories rushed by faster now. She could tell they were getting closer to the present. 

Andrew was terrified. He was so scared, and in so much pain, and so exhausted, that when he finally saw his friends again, he didn’t recognize them.

Ali understood that he was so focused on avoiding pain, and being good, that he didn’t even comprehend his saving grace, as it stood before his eyes.

And then, when he was finally able to comprehend what happened, he was punished again. He was beaten bloody, he was branded, burned, scarred, and tortured. And he was led to believe that everyone he loved had died.

No wonder he had been so out of it, anytime he was awake for more than a moment he was confused. Or in disbelief or misunderstanding.

Because according to him, everyone was dead. 

And he probably thought that he was too.

Only me.  With the world all around me. When the sun and moon and stars are gone, what’s left is only you.

Ali had to fix this. 

Her entire body was shaking, she had never stayed inside someone’s mind for so long before. She clenched her fists, focused her breathing, and projected her thoughts, forcing the truth into Andrew’s mind.

She echoed words and phrases of love, of peace, of safety, over and over again, until they were shouting louder than his own megaphone of pain. Until she was sure he could hear her.

You belong to yourself.

You are Andrew. A friend, a brother, and you are worthy of love, and peace.

You are safe, at home. And we will always be with you.

Because you deserve it. You are worthy, and you are more than a tool to be used.

Because we love you.

Andrew- we love you!

Will you answer me? Answer me.

- - -

@imagination1reality0 @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @thehopelessopus @burtlederp @whump-me-all-night-long @yesthisiswhump

There’s the video of the song from this chapter. It’s called “Answer Me” from The Band’s Visit.

[yandere-daze]

AHHHHHHH OHMYGOSH I LIVE!!!!! ANON 🍡 IS ALIVE!!! DAZE SHAKES U BY UR SHOULDERS ITS BEEN SO LONGG WAHH HOW ARE YOU???? ive been so busy with catching up on all of my school works that i havent been able to open tumblr at all AND THEN I COME BACK TO SO MANY SELF AWARE FOOD KSJDJD THE FOOD IS GOOD 🙏🙏🙏 i literally just skimmed thru the masterlist and WOAH. /POS

also ive only read ur reply to my ask now so sorry abt that! but i do agree with stippling being rlly short.. ironically its not even the shortest song 😭 its like on the middle of the list when u sort the songs in the wiki page from shortest to longest and that really just made me question everything like. HOW?? it just passes by in a flash i dont understand 😭

AND YES TWST!!!! TWST MY BELOVED!!! HAVE U SEEN THE NEW BIRTHDAY SET DAZE. HAVE U. HAVE U SEEN JAMILS BDAY CARD. HE. HE IS SO GORGEOUS. WHHHWHWH WHEN JAMIL.

(okay thats all I HOPE YOU DONT MIND ME POPPING BACK INTO UR INBOX AGAIN FHFHHFJ)

Omg welcome back 🍡 anon, it really has been a long time since I´ve last heard of you! Yeah, there has been a lot of new stuff for the self-aware AU, mainly stemming from the fact that I tried to write as much as I could before I would have to go working and have way less time. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must have felt to look at that masterlist after coming back dnfsl

And I know right?? like realistically speaking I know that there are definitely shorter songs but it just feels so fast! Maybe it´s because I just love the song so much so it doesn´t feel long when I´m playing it? Or because the last few seconds of the song are only a slow instrumental? Idk, there´s some weird stuff happening with Stippling. I notice that the songs keep getting longer the more we get. Like have you seen the new Alkaloid song, Vermillion? The mv is 2:50 minutes, like holy shit that´s long. The full version of Believe 4 leaves is 3 minutes 😭 That song is way too short btw, like if you agree. Like the full version is barely longer than the game version! It´s the best Alkaloid song imo and it´s a shame we got so little of it

AND YES OMG I SAW! I really love the new theme we have for the 3rd birthday cards, Jamil looks so good in those wizard robes, I´m very excited for all of the future birthday cards we´re going to get! Only the first card has been revealed so far but I think this might turn out to be my favorite line of birtday cards, I just think the groovy looks really good! Don´t get me wrong, I loved the jackets we got for the second line of birthday cards but for some reason I wasn´t too fond of the groovied versions? Like they were fun and silly but it´s not the kind of cute/ pretty I would normally pull for? Idk if I´m making sense here

[runeterrankhaleesi]

I've never done a match up before but it sounds like it would be fun! Valorant match up please!

I'm M, I got by she/her & they/them pronouns, I'd really prefer to matched with a man. I'm 5'2, have messy short hair that is cut above my shoulders of dyed black hair with red tips, dark brown eyes.

I really like my quiet, loud noises can kinda irk me after a while, I do like music though. I can play any string instrument (including harp) and also play piano but I prefer upright bass and electric bass. I sing as well and sometimes hum when I clean or work. I prefer aggressive and rock music but enjoy all music. I'm really sensitive to the temperatures. I don’t really watch movies or tv, I prefer books or watching streamers. I have OCD and it makes me need everything to have it’s own spot but I can still embrace a little mess.

I’m a little stupid sometimes, get very confused with directions and my words sometimes. I know Latin and I’m still learning Korean currently.

Ive always had a very teasing and borderline almost flirtatious personality and want my partner to be able to slap back at me with witty comebacks. I've always valued humor in my partners. But I need someone can still be serious while having humor. I don’t really like pda at all, handholding is probably the farthest, maybe a hug even. I kinda like a partner would be vocal with their affection but not physical. I tend to be kinda timid so I’d want someone a little more dominant to help me.

I know this was a lot I’m sorry, I just really like listing off stuff, I hope it at least help. I think this matchup stuff is so cool!

[A/N: Hello darling! Don't be sorry, I'm honestly glad that you gave me a lot of information, it made it much easier to find a match. And thank you for participating in this event and thinking it's cool, I might do this more in the future.]

I pair you with...

YORU!

Why? Because...

Just like you, Yoru loves peace and quiet, which can be rarely found in the Protocol. Loud noises irritate and annoy the shit out of him, especially Breach loud and talkative people. He likes that he can spend time with you in silence, just taking in each other's presence, no words needed.

He's a fan of music too but his taste differs from yours. While you like aggressive rock music, he prefers Japanese hip hop. He jams to his playlist while riding around town in his customized motorcycle. Even so, he's open to listen to your type of music and will even make a playlist of rock songs he thinks you'll like, he'll even go as far as to get concert tickets. And sure, he's not a big fan of classical music but it's not gonna stop him from wanting to see and hear you play, he wants to support you after all, and he doesn't mind if you practice in his room. Just hearing you play, sing, or even hum reminds him of your company and it makes him smile (on the inside).

It's fine if you don't really watch movies or shows, he can understand that and even be considerate to you. He's a big Marvel fan and he actually has a collection of comics in his room which are very well hidden. While you're reading a book, he'll put on his earphones and watch the movie on his phone so that he won't disturb you. He's a big gamer too and he'll often watch streamers with you while eating takeout he ordered.

You can say he's somewhat of a neat freak, you can tell by the way he keeps his room clean and well-organized. He just can't focus and work in a messy room, it greatly irks him and wonders how can someone live in this mess.

He's always on your side, he's a little impatient but he tries his best to explain things a little easier for you if you don't understand. He'll introduce you to Jett so you can learn and improve on your Korean, he knows how notes are important in learning a language so he goes ahead and buys notebooks for you to write in. If you ever want to learn Japanese, just ask him, he'd be more than willing to teach you.

Yoru is the king of insults and comebacks. He's witty and a quick thinker so it's not hard for him to come back at you, though he's more gentle with you, he doesn't want to accidentally hurt your feelings. He loves to exchange flirtatious comments with you, knowing that he has the ability to make you blush, his favorite thing to do is mutter something in Japanese, loud enough for you to hear and watch as you beg him to tell you what it means. And the fact that you're easy to fluster, he'll 100% kabedon you whenever there's an opportunity. He lives to see the surprised look on your face.

He's not really big on pda too, handholding, cheek kissing, and putting an arm around your shoulder is as far as he'll go. He's much more intimate in private. Unfortunately, Yoru has trouble expressing himself, vocally, so be patient with him.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

[beelas-bees-art]

hey beela, its beela on anon, anon beela if you will. you should talk about your favorite tcoh oc and ignore the thing youre supposed to be doing rn

omg anon beela tysm, its almost like you read my mind.

my favorite tcoh oc is dexter, not just because hes the one i made most like myself, because his route is the true ending, or because hes a side character turned major character. its all of those things combined with the fact that hes just a funny dude.

dexters an only child with his mother taking care of him, or its more like the other way around. his mother, amy, is quite sickly so instead of living on his own, he stays with her to take care of her.

he had a job, but he gets fired near the beginning of the story. he then relies on coding commissions, basically coding stuff for people to get money. he does get a new and more stable job near the middle-end of tcoh tho!

he also has a love of music, mostly instrumental (this is inspired by most of my irl friends being into music). writing music is a hobby of his that he likes to keep on the downlow, but trixie does get wind of it at some point and attempts to help him out with it. she creates visuals to go along with the music, although shes far from an artist, she knows colors and emotions very well. dexter ends up liking what she brings to the table so they end up collaborating on alot of things.

i say dexter is alot like me but i can only remember a few similarities at the moment. we're both hotheads who hate having to meet new people <3, hes dyed his hair black and ive always wanted to, we're both creative! albeit in different ways. and we both really love our moms <3<3

thats all for now, but feel free to distract yourself more later, anon beela