#so evidence suggests the more negative scenario is true. right?

[glossystarling]

because you have mentioned me both times in this, and because i have seen people misunderstand my sense of provocation, i am going to respond to this, lol. i will attempt to do this nicely but this has long tried my patience and you may hear it in my tone.

in these conversations, there is something that comes up that i will call "the manipulativeness and dominance of the most sensitive". there is an effective race-to-the bottom in social scenarios where the person who demonstrates the most exaggerated sense of hurt feelings is perceived as the person in the right -- essentially, the person who behaves like a very young and very dysregulated child. the person who behaves like an adult -- the person who resolves their feelings on their own, away from others, and masks their sensitivities -- is at the mercy of the babyish person. if you, like me, sasha, find it inherently immature and undignified to cry in a group of strangers, you are truly in hell in the jcink rpc. you will find yourself the "loser" in these situations because someone will always cry louder than you, the person who refuses to cry on command to manipulate an audience.

another thing that has come up is the idea that being provocative or being provoked is inherently negative. horror is a provocative genre. it is supposed to make you feel bad. as a horror writer, i assess the success and skill of my writing on whether there is that sense of discomfort. when i was specifically writing my abuser character, it was evident to me that some players were more superficially engaged with the fact that he was a truly terrible person. the best analogy would be to say, i had constructed a haunted house, but no one was getting scared. people were walking through the haunted house and giggling nervously. this suggested to me that i needed to add more peppers to my chili. specifically, i indicated that prior to an abusive parent actually acting upon molestation ideation, they have probably been thinking about it/feeling about it for some time. no one just wakes up one day and abuses their own child. there is almost always some level of fantasy and premeditation, sometimes for years. and that is horrible, isn't it? it makes you feel bad to think about it, right? that is the point. the point of the character is horror. the point is to feel provoked and feel bad. you go to a haunted house to get scared.

the combination of these two things -- the Manipulative Baby Rules All structure and the This Is A Haunted House, Duh structure -- leads to repeated situations where a manipulative baby goes to a haunted house and then freaks the fuck out. if you are someone who builds haunted houses, it drives you fucking crazy, because there are often 1,000 Caution! Haunted House! signs outside it. at some point we must conclude that the point of people triggering themselves is so they can manipulate social groups into spaces that please their personal sensibilities.

a separate issue is that sometimes people do not know their own boundaries. the solution to realizing the haunted house is too scary is for you to tell someone patiently and kindly that you are too scared now, not to assume that the chainsaw they added to the haunted house is real. you can withdraw consent at any time, but you cannot blame the other person for not having knowledge that you yourself did not possess prior to a situation. and yes, sometimes that means that if you tell the haunted house person this, they will just leave of their own accord. that's fine too! there is this persistent delusion that you have to manipulate other people into writing or not writing certain things, and it's not true. the happiest scenario for every single person is a combination of artistic freedom and clear communication.

the reason people fail at moderating the manipulative babies is due to optics. if you tell a manipulative baby to shut up and suck on their pacifier, you risk being seen as insensitive. if you tear down the haunted house, however, you can frame yourself as a defender of the weak and tender -- as opposed to just a sucker who obeys whoever cries loudest.

lastly, the reason that people have short tempers with this so-called criticism is because 95% of it is in manipulative bad faith. why is it my problem that someone else cannot manage their own feelings? isn't it the job of every mature adult to manage their feelings? why must i, an artist, hold the hand of every baby who willfully triggers themselves in my haunted house? why am i being tasked with that emotional work? i'm not saying people can't be disturbed by dark content. that's fine. but they should go be disturbed on their own time, not on mine, and not in public. if a site allows for certain content, then the people who join that site need to expect and brace for that content to appear in public. otherwise, go somewhere else. stop being mad incest is discussed in public on the site that allows incest.

to preempt a particular criticism (that these things must be researched perfectly to be written) -- published works, whether they are written or visual, are so often poorly researched with topics poorly handled. A Little Life, an 800 page door stop with graphic suicide gore and child abuse, is distinctly lacking in research. roleplayers hold themselves to a standard that best-selling novels do not, and it's silly. A Little Life has sold a million copies -- its reach is clearly greater than a tiny roleplay that reaches fifty people or less. why are people demanding that small-audience artists, who are creating unpaid art, engage in a level of verisimilitude and research that a literal best-selling writer does not? why do we lie to ourselves and others and act like our mistakes or clumsiness have such an impact on the world, when in fact we are nobodies? i'm not saying "don't do research", but i am saying it's insane that people hold themselves to a standard higher than literal published works, which people seem to respect so much more.

frankly, anon, i think you are trying to appear respectable and separate yourself from me, when really, you are on the thinnest ice of being me. what makes me "off the deep end" is that i refuse to be beholden to manipulative babies, that's all. i am simply an artist who does not answer to people with the highest sensitivities and the worst reading comprehension. i write to create art, and i cannot create good art if i spend my life worrying about what the most fragile people will think about it. i think a huge amount of depression in the jcink RPC is because people are creatively murdered by that worry. their souls have been destroyed because they see all their own art through the eyes of the people who would actively misunderstand it.

it is my genuine wish for you, and all other people, that they can move forward with their art without this soul-killing paranoia. though people call it "just caring about others", it is in fact a poison that destroys people's ability to tap into their own creativity. great artists did not create great art because they were intensely preoccupied with what the sensitive masses would think. they reached into themselves and drew out what was there, come what may. i hope you can cast off the shackles of "responsibility" and find the great art inside you.

TLDR: The rpc identifies or fantasizes about life through their character's perspective far too prevalently for me to believe in the widespread separation of art and artist in this hobby. Also, a lot of people who write dark shit do it specifically to upset or goad people irl even when they know specific boundaries exist. // i respect that you have boundaries and know what makes you comfortable, but I am curious how you know what other rpers motivations are? there's a lot of assumption here. // I should have stated this more carefully. i also saw there was another reply too so I'll do my best to address both. fwiw, I've been in the pbp rp scene for 20 years and I absolutely don't know other people's motivations. I can only go on the basis of patterns. I have written about lots of darker stuff in my time- sa, dv, child abuse, etc, always on board where those things fit the setting. I don't actually think most dark theme writers set off to upset people, that was badly stated. However I think the behavior - in general - reveals most rpers don't have the maturity to be handling some of these topics in a communal setting, so I usually approach with caution and a fair amount of suspicion at this point. Sasha is a *really* extreme example of deliberately instigating, obviously, and I've never personally run across someone that far off the deep end. I'll instead speak to what I usually see which is more tame and probably less conscious but still in poor taste imo. I've been approached several times about what I'm writing making people uncomfortable, and only in 2 cases has the person been so overwrought or aggressive that there was no good solution. Sometimes the solution was moving plotting for certain characters to dm or a specific channel, other times it was putting things in a doc, and in some cases it was just talking to people about why I was writing those things. On the flipside I have talked to a few people in my time about keeping certain topics siloed in similar ways and seen many conversations where someone else did and they've rarely gone well. About half the time, I have seen whoever is being asked to pull back instead: get really passive/aggressive towards the asker, start soliciting similar plots from characters directly adjacent to that persons characters, start talking about the topics more, start tagging those people when they post like 'lol @ person don't read I know you'll hate it', or leaving the site altogether. I've also seen writers cut their partners off for realizing a topic was too much to write explicitly and backing out of graphic depictions of some of this. To me this says someone is too personally entangled with a character or theme to be writing them in a community, and more often than not I don't have a problem with anyone until that's been demonstrated. Again, I get squicked by these things because it shows me someone can't separate their personal feelings and self image from criticism or distaste for those topics. [pt 1]

[pt 2] I think if you're going to write these topics, you need to be prepared to handle the occasional pushback or discomfort gracefully and respectfully. Since I have seen that so rarely, I can't help but believe that most people aren't doing a good job of separating themselves from the topic or the character, much less considering other people when they're writing things which can genuinely be disturbing. If you can't do that, I don't think you should write those things outside 1x1s, and even then only with people you can hear criticism from without spinning out. In a public context, to another replier's point, there are certainly people who are looking for reasons to be upset or are at least coming into those conversations with a lot of sensitivity, which speaks to part of my original ask in that I don't think many admin teams are equipped to moderate well when one or both of those things are true. And in other contexts, rping those kind of topics is a left field kind of decision based on the setting/overall tone and shouldn't be done. All of that means I just regard most writers who focus on dark themes with caution. Like I originally said, most of the time I just ignore stuff I don't like, it's just hard for anyone (myself included) to do that if an individual has decided people are being too sensitive and the right medicine is to push harder or carry resentment instead of respecting other people.

Again, I don't think that's everyone. But my experiences on both sides of those conversations make me think a small fraction of people are genuinely equipped to handle these topics in public responsibly.

[troquantary]

Edward Cullen: That Boy Ain’t Right

So I was doing a reread of @therealvinelle 's collection of Twilight metas, as one does, and in "Edward, Denial, and a Human Girlfriend" she mentions that she doesn't believe Edward is sane. I thought, "ha, yeah, he's definitely not," and also, "but wait, what does that mean exactly, please say more about that." But since she's already inundated with asks, I've decided to use my own head-muscle and explore this idea. (TL;DR: I start out more or less organized, synthesize some points Vinelle has made across several posts (and have hopefully linked to them all where relevant but please tell me if not), touch a little on narcissism, then take a hard left into the negative effects of being a telepath.)

Just a couple things to note at the outset, though. Theses have been written already (probably) about Edward as an abuser. Edward being insane doesn't negate that at all; he's definitely an asshole and just...a disaster of a human being. (I find it more funny than anything, but YMMV.) I'm also going to try to avoid talking specifically about mental illness and how it relates (or doesn't relate) to abusive behavior -- that's territory I'm not really equipped to discuss, like at all. My starting point is "Edward has a deeply warped perception of reality," not "Edward has X disorder."

So: deeply warped perception of reality. The evidence? Goes behind a cut, because my one character trait is Verbose.

Vinelle provides a great example of it in the post linked above, which I'll just quote because she does words good: "[Edward] keeps acting like his romance with Bella is a romantic tragedy, and all the cast of Twilight are actors on a stage making it as sublime as possible." Edward's the one to pursue Bella, but he does so with the full belief, from the very beginning, that it will never last; Bella will "outgrow" him, go on her human way, and he can spend the rest of eternity brooding magnificently over his too-short romantic bliss. [Insert premature ejaculation joke.] Turning her is never an option, even though Alice, Noted Psychic, says that romancing Bella will either end with her dead (exsanguinated) or dead (vampire).

This framing, where he's a dark anti-hero in love with -- but never tainting! -- the pure maiden and eventually leaving her in a grand, tragic sacrifice to preserve her soul? It's fucking bonkers. Bella isn't a person to him in this scenario. As Vinelle points out, Bella's never really a person to him at all; he falls in love with his own mental construct, cherry-picking from what he observes of her behavior and her responses to his 20 (thousand) Questions to convince himself that she is the ideal woman.

Bella's not the only one who gets the projection/cardboard-cutout treatment. Edward sees everything and everyone through a highly particular, personalized lens. He filters his entire reality, which we all do to an extent, but the thing with Edward is that he starts with his conclusions and then only pays attention to the evidence that supports those conclusions. Often that evidence consists of what he admits in New Moon are only "surface" thoughts -- but recognizing that limitation doesn't keep him from taking those thoughts as representative of what people are. Edward then becomes absolutely convinced by his own "reasoning" and won't be swayed from what he has decided is Objectively True. It's obvious with Bella; it's also painfully obvious with Rosalie. (Vinelle explains this and brings up Edward's raging Madonna/Whore complex in the same post, so refer to that again -- she's right.)

He also catastrophizes. Everything. Bella's just vibing in her room, rereading Wuthering Heights for the 87th time? She's gonna be hit by a meteor, better sneak into her room while she sleeps. Bella's going to the beach with the filthy mundanes their human classmates? She's gonna fall in the ocean. Jasper's cannibal pals are stopping by for a visit, but know not to hunt in the area? DISASTER, DEFCON 1, ALSO FUCK YOU JASPER FOR EVEN EXISTING IN MY AND BELLA'S SPHERE YOU UNSPEAKABLE BURDEN. Edward must believe that Bella is vulnerable and in near-constant peril, to support the reality he has created in which he is the villain turned protector and maybe?? hero??? (!!!) for his beloved. So when the actual, James-shaped danger arrives, he goes berserk, snarling and flipping his shit and generally not helping the situation. His fantasy demands that Bella remain human, so instead of doing the very thing Alice, Noted Psychic, assures him will neutralize the threat (and not just a threat to Bella, either, but to Bella's family and any other human James might decide to include in the "game"), he vetoes it immediately, no discussion. Bella Must Not Turn, and he sticks to those guns despite James nearly reducing her to ground beef, despite leaving Bella catatonic with depression (but human! success!) in New Moon, despite Aro's order and his family's vote and, let's not forget, Bella's clearly and repeatedly stated desire to be a vampire. It's going to happen. But he doesn't accept it until Renesmee busts out of Bella like the Kool-Aid man and the poor girl's heart finally, unequivocally stops.

Sane people don't behave this way. I don't want to slap labels on Edward, but I can't help but note that he comes across as highly narcissistic. He's the only real person in his universe, the lone player among us NPCs. That probably has a lot to do with him being frozen in the mindset and maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, but I think it's also just...him, on some fundamental level. His failure to connect with others and recognize them as full, independent beings with their own wants and priorities isn't like Bella's failure -- she's badly depressed. Edward is...something else, and I get the sense that his sanity has been steadily deteriorating over time. And a cursory google of narcissistic traits turns up some familiar-looking stuff. He's self-loathing, yes, but also grandiose; he hates himself for the monster he is (and hates most vampires besides Esme and Carlisle for their monstrosity, too) but still feels superior to humans, to the extent that he felt entitled to human blood and resented Carlisle for depriving him of his "proper" diet. He eventually returns to Carlisle, but he's far from content -- the beginning of Midnight Sun finds him in a state of ennui, bored and dismissive of (if not outright disgusted by) everyone around him, that has apparently persisted for years and years. He doesn't play the piano, he doesn't compose, he doesn't enjoy anything...at least until Bella comes along and then he becomes obsessed to a disturbing degree with her and his new, romantic tragedy spin on reality.

[Next-day edit: I’m not sure where else to fit this in, but the way Edward casually contemplates violence against people who have, at best, mildly annoyed him is...chilling. I have a hard time writing off his strategizing how to murder the entire Biology class as a result of bloodlust -- it’s so calculated, nothing like the blackout state of thirst Emmett describes when he encountered his own “singer,” and that is probably the default for when a vampire is extremely thirsty. But even ignoring the Biology class incident, Edward still does things like consider, with disturbing frequency, how he might grievously injure or kill Mike Newton, all because...Edward considers him his romantic rival (despite Bella barely giving the kid the time of day). He thinks about slapping Mike through a wall, which might be an amusing slapstick image, except as a vampire Edward’s actually capable of turning this boy’s skeleton to a fine powder. So it’s, y’know, kind of sick when you think about it.

But even worse than that, when Bella tells Edward about how she flirted with Jacob to get at that sweet, sweet vampire lore, Edward chuckles and then, after dropping Bella home, flippantly observes that now that the treaty’s broken, why not genocide? I’m not even kidding, it’s right there in Midnight Sun; he seriously thinks about the fact that he’d be technically justified now in wiping out the entire tribe because a teenager tried to impress a girl with a spooky story. That is fucked. Remember, Edward was there with Carlisle when the treaty was first established. He knows how remarkable it is that they even came to a truce in the first place, that it was only ever possible because Carlisle is...well, Carlisle, and that it marks a pretty significant moment in supernatural history. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t respect it, or he’d never think something like “Ha ha, if I went and killed them all, I wouldn’t even be wrong. I mean, I won’t do it, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be wrong.”

Again: not the thought process or behavior of a sane person. (Or a person that respects life in general -- sorry Carlisle, big L.)]

Finally, whether he's a narcissist or not, I think the fact that Edward has constant, unavoidable access to everyone's thoughts is a powerful contributing factor to his instability. He can tune out the mental noise to an extent, but he can't stop it -- so he comes to rely on it like another sense. This causes issues with disconnect and lack of empathy, of course, but there's another facet to this shit diamond: he's basically experiencing a ceaseless flow of intrusive thoughts. His narration in Midnight Sun suggests that he "hears" the words people think, can "see" what they visualize in their mind's eye, and can sense the emotional "tone" and intensity of their thoughts. Therefore, perceiving Jasper's thirst through his thoughts makes Edward more aware of his own, "doubling" the discomfort. This would be a lot to deal with even from just his immediate coven members, but Edward gets all of this pouring into his head like a firehose on a day-to-day basis because the Cullens live right alongside humans. I know Meyerpires have galaxy brains or whatever, but that's a ton to process.

Besides the compounding effect on his own thirst when he "feels" the thirst of others, Meyer never suggests that Edward has difficulty separating his own thoughts from other people's; even when he was newly turned, he recognized Carlisle's "voice" in his head as Carlisle's. That would create a whole different host of issues around identity, but it looks like Edward's escaped that particular torment. However, I can easily imagine that what he does experience is just shy of unbearable nonetheless, with an eroding effect on his sanity over decades. He can't sleep to escape it; he's on a dishwater diet and probably (like the rest of his family) experiencing a perpetual, low-grade physical discomfort due to his thirst never being fully satisfied; and he's around far more people than is the norm for vampires -- even discounting all the humans, his own coven is unusually large -- meaning more noise.

Honestly, it would be weirder if he were all there, considering.

And even though I feel like I lost a sense of structure around where I started ranting about telepathy, I've written like 1.5k words about Edward fucking Cullen and I think that's enough for one post.

[blu-joons]

Elopement ~ Song Minho

You couldn’t take your eyes from the wedding band that sat around your finger, the sunlight that came from the window behind you catching perfectly against the silver metal. Beside you, Minho’s did the same, resting against your leg as you waited to be called into the office of YG for a rather stern talking to.

At the time, eloping seemed like the best idea for the both of you, however when Minho returned to work with your marriage written across his finger, it didn’t take long before rumours started to fly, and questions began to be asked.

Whilst it didn’t distract from the pride that he felt at being able to call you his wife, the consequences that loomed over his career seemed a little more severe. He’d been warned against marriage several times, but as Minho so often did, he once again chose not to listen.

He always knew the company were going to be far from impressed, but not once did he let that could your judgement, unlike you, who could think of nothing else.

Your fears of what was to come weren’t subtle, the way you couldn’t sit still in your chair quickly caught Minho’s attention. “It’s going to be alright, what’s the worst that could happen?” He smiled across to you.

“Do you have any idea how guilty I feel about all of this?”

“I don’t see why,” he stated, squeezing gently against your leg. “We followed our hearts, and for once we decided to do things our way. If they can’t accept that, then it sounds like they’re issue, not ours.”

Your head shook at how calm he was about the whole situation, “you were told no, and yet we did it anyway. Weren’t you always the one that said they take rule breaks seriously, who knows what could happen?”

“They’re not going to do anything too serious,” he confidently assured you, “they’d be stupid to punish us, or me, too much. I’m far too valuable to this company right now to just get rid of.”

Your eyes rolled as he yet again showed off his carefree attitude that he wore proudly. “It’s not just that, but what if they decide that we can’t be together. There’s your contract, the other guys, they could do anything.”

Minho knew he was never going to walk happily by your side forever, especially when his position at your side was frowned upon by those in higher positions. But he didn’t let that deter from the fact he loved you, however they wanted to treat it.

“I know that you’re worried, mainly for me, and I appreciate that. But we made this decision together, and do I regret it? Not at all. If I was scared about work, or management, I would have never agreed to runaway with you and get married. They don’t scare me, and the last thing I want is for them to scare you either.”

“But they can’t do anything to me, but to you, they could make you walk away. If I hadn’t suggested running away in the first place then we wouldn’t be married right now, and you wouldn’t be sat here about to face your boss and justify your role in the company.”

Despite nodding his head, the company was still of little interest to Minho. He had the career, and plenty to fall back on, but none of that meant anything if he didn’t have you there with him.

To begin with, you thought his relaxed state was just a front, but as you sat with him for longer and listened to the things he said, you knew it was Minho sat in front of you. The Minho that did what he wanted, not caring for other people’s negativity surrounding him.

“I don’t have to justify anything to anyone,” he reminded you, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing against the back of it. “The only person I justify my actions to, is myself.”

“Is that enough?” You openly asked, turning your body inwards to face him. “Are you going to wake up one day and regret marrying me because of the effect that it could have in your career.”

Minho failed to respond to you, instantly settling alight a panic inside of you. He’d always promised you forever, but he’d promised the group, and the company forever too. When push came to shove, were you really enough to be the one that he’d hold onto?

“Answer me,” you whispered as his eyes began to stare off into the distance.

“I would never regret marrying you,” he smiled, intertwining his hand tighter with yours. “I wake up every day on top of the world because I’m married to you, my career is great, but being with you, that’s the only thing that I want, permanently.”

The sincerity in his eyes brought a small smile to your face, but that was quickly removed when you spotted one of the managers walking into the boardroom, unable to even bring their eyes down the corridor to look at you both.

“What happens if worse case scenario comes true today?” You asked, keen to know where the two of you would find yourselves standing.

Whilst it was difficult for Minho to really judge where he would find himself at the end of the day, if there was one constant, he was sure of, it was that you would still be by his side.

“Worst case scenario, we still have each other,” he chuckled, tapping the pad of his finger against the ring that you wore. “Best case scenario, the company realise that I’m not giving up on you, or our marriage.”

“Do you really think that’ll happen?”

He could only shrug back at you, unsure of what any of the company would think. He’d given them his word, and blown it, the trust was gone. Minho could only hope that the evident love between the two of you would be enough to swing things in your favour.

“Surely someone has done something worse than this,” you joked.

His head nodded, recalling one particular event he watched unfold just a few months ago. “Do you see now why I told you these contracts are stupid all those years ago?”

“I’m beginning to understand it a little better now. But is it really a crime for someone to be happy, why can’t they see you’re willing to love and to work just as hard still?” You quizzed.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to prove today,” he smiled once again, “I’m going to show them that running away and getting married was the best thing to happen to us, and the best thing to ever happen to my career too.”

You leant into his side, resting your head against his shoulder. “I’m really sorry Minho that it ended up coming to this, if I knew we’d find ourselves in this position, I would have done things so differently.”

“Why? We did what felt right for us, and we’re all the happier for it. We have to make sure that we stand on our own two feet?”

“But what happens if we fall today?”

“Then we still stand with each other, that’s all that matters.”

---

Masterlist

[multi--kpop--fanfics]

Place Your Bets - Prologue

Kai x fem!reader x Sehun

warnings: alcohol consumption, gambling, implied sexual actions, mentions of blackmailing 

summary: Prologue of the series - Y/N meets two handsome strangers who have set their eyes on her all night long. She decides to spice things up by suggesting a game. A dangerous one.

It was a quite peaceful night, the customers were enjoying their drinks, whether they were with friends or alone. Speaking of which, you were alone too - not that you really minded. Besides, you didn't need to have someone next to you, being the confident and self-made woman you were.

You see, you were the owner of the bar, which you made from literally scrap. You had made quite the infamous name for yourself, managing to hold one of the most notorious bars in the city, attracting even people of the highest class and fame. That was one of the many pros you had managed to acquire. Simply because you weren't running a typical bar.

After the closing time, your bar serves as a gambling place, where your regular and special customers can lose themselves into the thrill of poker, russian roulette and many more games. The sheer adrenaline the customers feel when raising the stakes makes you feel alive. Especially when you are the one raising the stakes and emerge victorious from every nerve-wrecking game.

To be honest, you didn't really care about the money - you wanted to experience the thrill of gambling, you thrive of the pained expressions of your opponents every time they start sweating and panic, afraid that they would lose their precious dollars. Gambling was your addiction, an addiction that made you high every single time - you could even say that it was better than having an orgasm during sex. Although you hadn't experienced the last one in a rather long time.

As you were lost in your thoughts while playing with your half-empty vodka-filled glass, your gaze mindlessly fell on a handsome young man, who was staring at you from his seat. You couldn't see his facial features clearly due to the dim lights of the bar, but his aura was definitely mysterious, and a bit intimidating. He was drinking his scotch, never breaking the eye-contact, until you broke it, turning to the bartender to ask him if he knows the man, only to shake his head negatively. You notice that your glass is now empty and before you ask the bartender for a refill, one of the waiters puts down a brand new drink next to you.

"Boss, this is for you from the gentleman sitting in the booth to your far left" he says. "Thank you, dear" you reply with a soft smile and you turn your head to the aforementioned gentleman, only to see him wink at you and raise his glass to your direction. Wow, definitely not done before, you think and slightly scoff. You take a sip from the glass and the familiar sour taste ironically takes you by surprise. Lemon? How did he know? you think to yourself. 

“A woman like you would never drink something sweet or heavy” you hear a deep, honey-dripping voice speak behind you and you turn your head to see the same man who bought you the drink a few minutes before. “Oh? And what do you think i am like?”, you raise an eyebrow and you wrap your scarlet-painted lips around the straw to take another sip of vodka. “You’re the owner of this bar. This means that you’re a very strong and independent woman. However, you are also devilishly gorgeous - a true femme fatale” he replies and kisses the back of your hand with his soft, full lips. “Perceptive and chivalrous... A powerful combination indeed. You are definitely a man many ladies would want by their side” you state with a sultry tone, eliciting a chuckle from the man. “You’re pretty perceptive as well. The real question is, do you want me by your side?”

“And what makes you think that you can possibly be by her side, Kai?” a manly, stern voice cuts off the conversation. You turn around to see the man who was staring at you earlier with an unwavering gaze. Your senses were always right and they most certainly didn’t fail this time - this man had a truly powerful and intimidating aura. You look at the man on your left and you notice his gaze stiffening by the second and his jaw clenching, his sharp jawline even more evident. “Oh? And you say that you can stand proudly next to her, Sehun?”.

Your eyes were alternating between the two men who were facing each other head-to-head, ready to rip each other’s throat out. They know each other…Interesting, you smirk to yourself and take a sip from your vodka. The sight in front of you was one for truly sore eyes: two handsome strangers, the one on your left dressed in a blazing red suit with no undershirt, revealing his golden toned chest and his silver undercut hair was slicked back, his name Kai, as the other man called him a while ago.

Speaking of the man on your right, his name was Sehun and his appearance was a complete contrast to Kai’s, but extremely attractive nonetheless - his jet black hair was in a comma style and he was wearing a black suit with a black buttoned up shirt, his pale skin and sharp facial features making him look like a vampire - a devilishly handsome one.

“Gentlemen, I think there’s a lot of tension piling up here. Perhaps we could settle this elsewhere?” you ask with a sultry voice. “Do you have something special in mind, princess?” Kai asks with a smirk, emphasizing the word ‘special’. “Follow me” you signal to them and they follow you behind the bar. You reveal a small golden key from the V-neck of your slip dress and you unlock the heavy door. You click a switch next to the door and the room lights up from an expensive crystal chandelier.

“A poker table?” Sehun raises a brow at you. “Are we going to settle this through poker?” he asks again and you nod affirmatively. “Now this is getting fun” Kai chuckles. “The rules are simple, gentlemen: 3 rounds of poker, each player has a total of 100 poker chips, total worth 250,000 dollars. The player who wins two out of three rounds, wins the game” you explain the game. You sit on the table, crossing your legs sensually, the two men eyeing you like two lions hunting their prey.

“So, shall we place our bets?”, you ask, your voice dripping honey. Kai takes a step forward and seats himself in one of the three velvet chairs. “May I?” he asks and you nod in agreement. “If I win, you will give me 50% of your business. Also, I want to bend you over the table and fuck you senseless” he admits while licking his lips deviously. You click your tongue and Sehun scoffs in unison. “You’ve got balls, I’ll give you that”, you reply, “But if you think you can actually get your hands on my business, you’re dreaming, pretty boy. However, I’ll accept the bet, because that will make the game even more enjoyable, right?” you smile with a cheshire cat-like grin. 

“What about you, Sehun?, you turn to the other male, waiting for his own proposal. He sits still, his sharp brows furrowed, deep into thinking. After a few seconds, he sits down and crosses his arms in front of his toned chest. He then searches into his pocket and pulls out a tape recorder and your eyes widen in shock.

He’s an undercover agent.

”This recorder is still on and contains every single word that has been said until now. This means that I have clear evidence of you running an illegal gambling club. I think you know what would happen if the FBI were to find out about this, don’t you Y/N?” Sehun says, “So, my proposal is the following: If I win the game, this tape goes straight to the headquarters and you will end up in jail for the rest of your life” he adds, voice still unwavering. You drum your fingers on the table, thinking about the possible outcome. “And if you lose?” you ask. Sehun then bends forward and looks you right in the eyes, not expecting his next words in the slightest:

“I’ll cut any ties with the FBI and I will become your personal bodyguard”.

Kai then scoffs under his breath. “Now who’s the crazy one here? Y/N, you can’t possibly allow this fuckery-” and he’s cut off by your almost maniac laughter, the sound sending chills through the men’s spines. 

“This... This is what I’ve been waiting for all my life! This game couldn’t have gotten any better! The highest of stakes, putting our life’s work on the line and letting the cards decide... The pure adrenaline, the thrill! This is the true nature of gambling, gentlemen” you chuckle darkly. You then pick up a brand new pack of cards and slice the lock open with a perfectly manicured nail.

“Let the game begin”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @intokook @bluejaem @cyclothimikhh @kpop---scenarios @making-me-blush @softstan-probably (send an ask if you want to be included!)

[hopetwink]

Fic Analysis: Yellow Somethings

Yellow Somethings by @kidcarma

I’ve been in a creative rut lately, so one of the things I’m doing in the meantime is analyzing my favorite fics written by friends and/or acquaintences. This work was one of the first that came to mind, so it’s the first one I wrote an in-depth character analysis for. 

Some people tell me I’m scarily good at psychoanalyzing both fictional characters and authors, so I’m harnessing that ability here in hopes it’ll give both you guys (and maybe also me) a greater appreciation for these well-written works. 

So yeah, enjoy!

When I first read this work, one thing that immediately stood out to me was the dialogue. Good dialogue can stand on its own. If we cut out everything except the first exchange of dialogue between Hinata and Komaeda, the strength of this dialogue becomes evident.

“I hate you.”

“I can live with that.”

As any skilled writer knows, well-written first lines are crucial to the allure of a story. The first line must not only be an enticing hook, but an informative and non-expositional string of words that give the reader a strong sense of the work as a whole. It instantly sets the tone for a piece, allowing us to get a sense of where the characters are now, and what direction they’re going in. 

The author’s choice to make the first line a piece of dialogue tells us they want to plunge us headfirst into the story. In fanfiction, which cannot exist without source material to draw from, it’s safe to assume one’s audience already knows a great deal about the canon lives and fates of the characters the story explores. It’s a nice shortcut that lets writers avoid having to excessively recap the events of the canon storyline, but the way this particular author makes use of this shortcut is significant. The intensity of the language they chose to use serves another purpose--to give the reader exactly what they promised the fic would contain in the summary, notes, and tags, and knock anyone who isn’t ready to read it off balance. 

In less than a hundred words, Komaeda confronts Hinata with intensely negative feelings that most people wouldn’t hesitate to take at face value, and Hinata makes it clear that regardless of if Komaeda truly hates him, he has no intention of abandoning him. 

‘Hate’ is a funny emotion; you can’t hate someone and be indifferent to them at the same time. To hate someone is to care about them, though even the mere suggestion that we care for the people we hate on some level is uncomfortable and counterintuitive. So yes, Komaeda’s telling the truth, he does hate Hinata. I don’t think he holds Hinata’s past against him; that would not only be unfair, but go against Komaeda’s efforts to promote and embody hope. Lingering on a past full of despair instead of looking towards the future does nothing to further the great cosmic goals of hope. 

Komaeda wouldn’t hate Hinata over something so broad and vague; no, the reason Komaeda hates Hinata is simple: Hinata’s the only one who isn’t fazed by Komaeda’s delusions, and he refuses to give Komaeda the dignity of rotting away in peace. 

In taking care of Komaeda, Hinata forces him to confront every last ounce of shame in his body, because somebody decided he was worth keeping alive, worth helping to heal and protect, when that goes against what he thinks with every fiber of his being. He has to sit helplessly and watch as Hinata emotionally strips him down and sees what he believes to be the ugliest parts of himself, the ones that he genuinely would rather die before willingly showing them to someone else, and being subjected to such humiliation at the hands of someone with good intentions is too much for him to bear. 

The only remotely empowering emotion he can cling to at the moment is bitterness, which enables him to find little ways to resist Hinata’s attempts to nurse him back to health at every turn. 

We see him try to reclaim some leverage in their power dynamic when he attempts to psychoanalyze Hinata and determine the reason he hasn’t given up on Komaeda yet through quips like “you do this because you feel bad” and “is it because the image of my dead body lives on in your mind.” Komaeda cannot allow Hinata to see him be vulnerable, because if he does, all the effort he put into building an impenetrable wall around his heart over the past fifteen or so years will have been for nothing. 

This feature of the fic is only made more poignant by the fact that it’s written from Hinata’s perspective--we don’t see what Komaeda is thinking or feeling, only his words and actions. But we see Hinata’s, which brings me to another underlying message: sometimes love isn’t gentle. Sometimes love isn’t soft and sweet, or pretty. Hinata loves Komaeda, even if he himself doesn’t realize or understand it. Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t bother. He would’ve simply walked out of Komaeda’s hospital room the first time he refused to take his medicine. And he didn’t do that. He would never do that, not to Komaeda.

Hinata’s love for Komaeda is reflected in the yellow flowers he leaves next to his hospital bed, and that is why we catch a glimpse of his frustration when Komaeda breaks it. But in a way, this is a good thing--as Hinata begins to open up about his emotions, the pair move further away from their cycle of codependency and towards something closer to a symbiotic relationship. Perhaps someday, instead of needing to need each other, they will be able to love each other with no strings attached. 

This is what makes Komaeda’s decision to replace the flowers in Hinata’s vase much more significant than it appears on the surface--not only is it a gesture of goodwill and apology, but a sign that Komaeda is finally taking initiative in their relationship. No longer will Hinata have to carry both of their burdens; Komaeda is willing and able to reciprocate the love and effort Hinata has selflessly given him. 

The fic ends on Hinata doing some much needed introspection, and eventually coming to the conclusion that he isn’t happy with the way his life has turned out. Because, despite everything he’s been through, all the knowledge, talent, and skill he’s gained, and the external validation he’s received from his friends, it’s not enough. What Hinata wants is a purpose beyond caring for Komaeda. One day Komaeda will be fully recovered and then Hinata will have no other meaningful task to do, and nothing to distract himself from his inner turmoil. 

What Hinata needs is to see himself as inherently valuable, and he’s incapable of doing that until he learns to forgive himself. Right now, he’s not ready to accept his or Komaeda’s forgiveness yet, but deep down he knows that’s the only way to pull himself out of the pit of self-loathing he’s buried in.

Perhaps I’m reading too deeply into this clean, clear-cut fic, but I highly doubt the author went into this scenario with little to no knowledge of both Hinata and Komaeda’s mental predicaments. The underlying whispers of each character’s desire to love and be loved, to feel something--anything--when they’re too numb to care, is not a dynamic that an unskilled writer would be able to execute so gracefully. 

At the very least, Carmen has quite the natural aptitude for extracting the real life emotions they and others around them experience, and at the most, they have done extensive research involving both outside sources and (multiple) character studies. Regardless of whether either or both are true, I’m extremely impressed at how well they’ve managed to nurture the seeds of creativity in their mind, and I look forward to more opportunities to explore their works with in-depth analyses.

[secretlyatargaryen]

I’ve read a lot of analysis of Zuko’s fever dream and the blue dragon/red dragon dichotomy, mostly focusing on how these represent Zuko’s internal conflict with his own morality, but I think there’s another interesting interpretation.

This dream is, in part, a “what could be” scenario for Zuko, with him on the throne, torn between good and bad, represented by Iroh and Azula, respectively, because those are the two people who most prominently represent these things in his life. It’s not entirely that, and the fact that Zuko is without his scar in the dream shows us that this is a future that can never be. In that case it’s a “what could have been” and a symbol of Zuko’s own desperate desire to fix what he thinks his problems are, and a hint that what Zuko is trying to regain, his place by his father’s side as the beloved crown prince, never really existed in the first place. This also shows us that this is a future that Zuko cannot quite believe in himself. I’ve written before about Zuko’s seemingly contradictory feelings towards his birthright and how I don’t think he ever really saw himself on the throne, and I think this is another hint that this is the case. In this dream, Zuko is sitting on the throne, but the reality we see is one that isn’t quite real.

The fact that he imagines Azula, and not Ozai, as the blue dragon shows the audience what a powerful influence Azula has over him (and also foreshadows Azula’s influence in leading him to betray Iroh underneath Ba Sing Se). It’s interesting because we might think the blue dragon would be Ozai, especially when contrasted with Iroh, as the two father figures in Zuko’s life, but it’s Azula who is contrasted with Iroh here. This does not mean Azula is a more powerful influence than Ozai, but rather it shows that Azula’s influence is different, more direct and tangible in Zuko’s mind. I do think that this is evidence that Zuko sees Azula as both someone who has power over him and someone he is afraid of. This is, after all, a nightmare, and the blue dragon’s appearance here is very dark and threatening. But his fear of her is very different from his fear of Ozai. Whereas Zuko views Azula as an antagonist, represented here as a negative and threatening presence vs Iroh’s positive and nurturing presence, Zuko doesn’t view his father as an antagonist. And interestingly, once Zuko does realize his father’s abuse towards him, he views Ozai as Aang’s antagonist. His standing up to Ozai is focusing on how he believes that it is Aang’s destiny to defeat his father. I actually think that Zuko is so afraid of Ozai that he can’t perceive of him as an enemy that he can face alone, even on the Day of Black Sun. Zuko is perfectly capable of facing Azula in battle (even though Azula is also abusive to Zuko) but the one time he faced Ozai in battle, he was so terrified that he couldn’t fight back. He does redirect lightning at his father when he finally stands up to him, and the fact that he brought his swords with him, and carefully planned to confront Ozai on a day when he knew Ozai would not be able to use his bending, shows that Zuko was prepared to fight back if he had to, but I think this was something he wanted to avoid and something he wasn’t confident that he could win. At the end of book 2, Zuko is certainly not capable of confronting his father even in a psychic fever dream.

In Zuko’s dream, both Azula and Iroh seem to represent what Zuko could become if he were on the throne. Azula is the abused child who never got free of her father’s toxic influence and become totally indoctrinated in the Fire Nation’s imperialistic worldview, while Iroh represents the freedom to choose good. But the threat that Azula poses in this dream is more than just an existential one. I also think that Azula here could represent a possible future for Zuko, were he to inherit his father’s throne.

Blue dragon: [In Azula's voice.] It's getting late. Are you planning to retire soon, my lord?

Zuko: I'm not tired.

Blue dragon: [Into Zuko's ear.] Relax, Fire Lord Zuko. Just let go. Give in to it. Shut your eyes for a while.

Zuko slowly starts to shut his eyes but widely opens them upon hearing the other dragon.

Red dragon: [In Iroh's voice.] No, Fire Lord Zuko! Do not listen to the blue dragon. You should get out of here right now. Go! Before it's too late! [Both dragons are poised to either side of Zuko.]

Blue dragon: Sleep now, Fire Lord Zuko.

The dragons disappear, and the room they're in, as well as the guards watching Zuko, crumble to nothing. The blue dragon reappears in front of him. Two golden eyes appear, followed by the face of the blue dragon, which closes rapidly.

Blue dragon: Sleep. [Voice grows louder and more hostile as it continues talking.] Just like mother!

The blue dragon in the dream behaves similarly to the way Azula does. She is manipulative, offering temptation with an implicit threat behind it which becomes more explicit by the end of the dream, while the red dragon with Iroh’s voice urges Zuko not to listen, just as Iroh urges Zuko not to listen to Azula when Zuko is awake.

I’ve read analysis of this scene that suggest that it show’s Zuko’s fears about what might have happened to his mother and that he believes on some level that she is dead, which I agree with, but I also think it represents a fear of what he thinks might happen to him if he were to take the throne. This also answers the question of why neither Ozai or Azula seem particularly bothered by the fact that Zuko is the heir to the throne, despite their obvious disdain for him, and why neither of them are bothered by him being reinstated as heir in book 3. There are two possibilities here.

1) Zuko takes the throne but is weak and easily manipulated by Azula, who becomes the true influence on the throne, represented by the blue dragon whispering in his ear and telling him not to worry and just “give in,” which Zuko does not want to do.

2) Zuko takes the throne but is killed by Azula, who takes the throne for herself, or Azula kills him before he can inherit the throne, or Azula usurps him in a similar way to what Ozai did with Iroh. This also goes with the idea that Zuko believes that his mother is dead, especially since his mother disappeared at the same time that Ozai took control of the throne, and the fact that at the end of the dream, the blue dragon tells him to “sleep, like mother” seems to imply that Zuko believes that what happened to his mother will also happen to him.

This is an interesting interpretation because it shows that the threat here is not just one against Zuko’s soul (although there is that, too) but that he believes on some level that his future as the crown prince is literally a threat to his life.

I also think it’s interesting that although the red dragon is portrayed as a positive and protective influence, telling him to go before it’s too late, it also appears vaguely threatening. This is because believing Iroh, and embracing the destiny that Iroh wants him to embrace, is a threat to the carefully constructed psyche that Zuko has built in order to cope with his situation. If it were easy, then it wouldn’t be a crossroads of destiny. This is also why it is ultimately important for Zuko to choose good for himself, and not because Iroh is pushing him to, which also is related to Zuko’s fears of being controlled even from a seeming position of power.

[zazujoy]

So I assigned Enneagram types to each tbs character and they’re listed here in approximate order of my confidence that I’m right; explanations under the cut. (mild spoilers included)

Sam: 6w5

Wadsworth: 8

Damien: 8

Adam: 5

Owen: 2w1

Joan: 5w6

Mark: 7w8

Caleb: 9w8

Chloe: 4

Rose: 4

Frank: 6

Sam: 6w5

Core desire: safety, security

Core fear: being abandoned or without support

I see that desire/fear in a lot of what Sam says and does--her anxiety/paranoia, owning an entire safe house, her nightmares centered around being the last person on earth, etc. Sam spends a large portion of her life living something close to her worst nightmare; she’s isolated and alone without anyone to look to for guidance in any part of her life, but especially in things pertaining to her ability. 

Meeting Joan (and, later, Mark and Chloe) breaks her out of that, but the fear of abandonment still influences much of her life. It’s particularly evident in her relationship with Mark, especially at the end of the series, when she starts going behind his back in an effort to protect him and avoid losing him. The desire for guidance is also clear in TAMA--Sam is uncomfortable with calling all the shots and wishes she could comfortably leave the leadership up to Owen and Joan. 

Loyalty is really important to 6s (the type is commonly referred to as “The Loyalist,” in fact) and I can see that in Sam, especially with Mark and her desire to protect him, but really with all of her friends

Sam’s 5 wing is evident in a.) her tendency to be withdrawn and b.) the way she searches for information, especially when she’s trying to solve a problem--hacking into the AM and spying on people’s pasts are the most obvious examples. 

Wadsworth: 8

Core desire: to be in control/to protect oneself

Core fear: being controlled, harmed, or weak

This core desire/fear is clear in every aspect of her life and nearly every action she takes throughout the entire podcast. Firstly, in her job: she’s always looking for ways to move up and get more power or control; she has to be in charge of everything because she doesn’t trust anyone else to do it and she doesn’t want to give up control (“I can’t take my hand off the wheel. No one else is capable of driving,” episode 411). The immunity serum, like many other things, is a direct result of her desire to gain more power and to avoid being controlled or hurt by Atypicals.

It also affects all of her relationships and interactions. Her interactions with patients at the AM are all shaped by her perception of how useful they are to her, and that’s the angle from which she approaches every conversation. This is true in her relationships with Owen and Joan as well--much of that is based on her desire to get the upper hand, to get ahead, to make sure she remains in control. She directs every conversation, she’s emotionally manipulative in a number of ways, and it’s especially notable that she insults Owen for being weak, a trait 8s tend to look down on. 

Type 8s tend to be very protective, both of the people they care about and people they see as innocent. And that's very much a Wadsworth thing, in that she'll do literally anything to protect her family, and she's very dedicated to protecting innocent people (read: non-Atypicals) from Atypicals. “I do the ugly things, because I can, and so that you don’t have to” (411). 

Damien: 8

Core desire: to be in control/to protect oneself

Core fear: being controlled, harmed, or weak

Damien and Wadsworth are both 8s and that’s why they despise each other so much (not really, obviously there’s a lot more to it than that, but it is a factor: in every interaction they have, they’re battling for power, and it frustrates him that he doesn’t have control over her the way he does with others).

Unhealthy 8s can be self-absorbed and treat others as beneath them. “You think that I need to not use my power as much, that I need to start treating everybody like they’re worth something? What does that get me?” (309)

His desire to be in power trumps basically everything--he could have been a good friend to Mark but he was never willing to sacrifice his control over him; the best example I can think of is when Mark asked him for a camera and he refused because there was a slight chance it might result in something he didn't like (having his picture taken). He won't be actually vulnerable/not a dick because he doesn't want to give up control or get hurt. 

He also avoids alcohol entirely because he can't stand not being able to use his ability properly.

Turning to risky and/or high-energy activities to avoid confronting emotions is a typical type 7 behavior; thus, I classify Damien’s many speeding tickets and some of his other crimes as indications of a 7 wing.

Adam: 5

Core desire: to be competent and capable

Core fear: being incompetent or useless

There are a lot of type 5 traits that I think fit Adam, but the biggest reason I think he's a 5 is the way he always wants to learn things and know things and find enough information to understand. Caleb describes him as "a sponge for information," he's the one who suggests the stakeouts, he's also just a big nerd in general 

And it's his go-to solution for any problem: he was worried he wasn't a good boyfriend so he asked his parents about Atypicals; he was scared his parents had hurt people so he snooped in their office; he knew Annabelle had done some bad stuff so he asked her questions about it when she drove him home.

The need to be seen as competent and capable is seen both in his schoolwork and in his relationship with his parents. He’s always striving for excellence in what he does, especially as far as academics go. He needs to be seen as capable and knowledgeable; he needs to feel like he has enough information to make reasonable decisions. 

Another thing some Type 5s experience is having limited energy for most things and especially social activities, and with Adam that's largely due to his depression but his depression does influence who he is and how he operates, so it’s still relevant. And that comes up even when he’s not in the midst of a depressive episode; he mentions feeling exhausted by trying to navigate social interactions multiple times in The Infinite Noise. He doesn’t hate human interaction, but he doesn’t feel nearly as confident in his social skills as he does in his academic abilities. 

I can see aspects of both wings in Adam: 4 because of his penchant for melancholy (his interest in Frankenstein and Hamlet, for example) and his feeling out of place in the world; 6 because of his tendency towards worst-case scenario spirals. 

Owen: 2w1

Core desire: to be helpful, needed, loved

Core fear: to be unwanted, unworthy of love

Owen Green is a 2 to a concerning degree. He's a people pleaser, he always has to be helping people, he pours his whole self into loving others and being helpful at the expense of his own health.

You can see it a lot in his work: he puts a lot of energy and attention into his career, which he loves because it gives him a way to help a lot of people. He shows up early, he takes night classes, he goes the extra mile to make sure his patients feel safe and cared for. 

The man won't even acknowledge his own struggles, also when is the last time he slept, also please someone give him a hug and some therapy. This lack of self-care and self-love is especially visible in TAMA--he’s clearly pushing himself very hard; he directly states that he thinks putting his attention towards his work instead of himself would be a more productive/better use of his time; Sam has to work to convince him he’s worthy of love.

But on the more positive side, he's such a genuinely loving and helpful person, he cares really deeply about people (Joan), he's really good at seeing people's needs and meeting them. “At his best, Owen takes in tons of information and then… uses it to make people’s lives better.”

Owen is organized, perfectionistic, and self-critical, indicating a 1 wing. 

Joan: 5w6

Core desire: to be competent and capable

Core fear: being incompetent or useless

Joan’s curiosity and her dedication to her studies are what led her to the AM, and her desire to be competent and seen as such definitely influenced her experience there and her decision to work there. Wadsworth was one of the first people to truly value her ideas and insight, to see her as a brilliant and capable scientist, and Joan needed that. 

Post-AM, Joan continues constantly seeking information, whether it’s to find Mark or to help her patients or simply to satisfy her curiosity. She’s always looking to gain more knowledge, and she’s quick to put the pieces together and draw accurate conclusions from the information she obtains. 

Joan also tends to be reserved and reticent when it comes to her own feelings, and she values privacy--both common 5 traits. 

Her loyalty (specifically to Mark) and self-doubt are both signs of a 6 wing.

Mark: 7w8

Core desire: to be satisfied, free, happy 

Core fear: being trapped or deprived 

Pre-AM Mark is described as a really fun, exciting person, he does a lot of wild stuff with his friends and is just a generally upbeat person. He’s full of energy, he jumps headfirst into new experiences. 

After the AM, he's obviously in a much less healthy place, and he tends to deal with it through avoidance and being reckless. It’s typical for 7s to deal with negative emotions by trying to ignore the feelings or replace them with other, more positive/exciting/distracting emotions and experiences. Mark has problems with alcoholism, and he makes impulsive choices when he’s upset--basically everything he does in TAMA is an example of this. 

His fear of being trapped is deeply rooted in his trauma from the AM, and it also influences a lot of his choices. Immediately after he gets reunited with Sam and Joan, he’s hesitant to go anywhere at all, because he’s afraid of getting taken back to the AM. As he becomes more confident that they aren’t coming after him, he seeks out more opportunities to leave and to be on the move--he looks for jobs across the country; he goes on tour with his friend’s band. He doesn’t want to be trapped in a city that holds so many bad memories. “Come on, Sam — only bad stuff has ever happened to either of us in this town. Maybe it’s time for us to go somewhere else and build something new” (413). 

He definitely doesn't why away from confrontation and he can lash out and push against the people he loves when he's stressed; hence 8 wing.

Caleb: 9w8

Core desire: to be at peace with oneself, to have inner stability

Core fear: loss, being separate from others

Caleb is definitely in the gut(instinct) triad (types 8, 9, and 1). The core emotion of this triad is anger, which plays a very significant role in Caleb’s arc. 

Caleb’s desire for inner stability comes through in a lot of his story. A lot of his development revolves around him learning to balance his emotions and the emotions of others, and becoming more at peace with his empathy. That desire for inner stability is a huge part of why he’s drawn to Adam--Adam keeps him green, makes him feel more stable and more comfortable in his own skin. 

Caleb’s fear of being a freak is a reflection of the 9′s core fear of being separate. While he learns to accept his ability, he does express being upset that he can never be normal. His Atypical friends give him a sense of belonging, something that is very important to 9s. 

9s are prone to self-forgetting, losing track of themselves and their emotions and needs because they’re caught up in the people around them. In Caleb’s case, his empathy makes it difficult for him to classify and deal with his own feelings. 

Caleb’s 8 wing shows in his willingness to be in conflict and his protectiveness (most obviously exhibited when he protects Adam in Safe House).

Chloe: 4

Core desire: to be uniquely themselves

Core fear: being insignificant, lacking an identity

I can definitely see in Chloe a desire to be uniquely herself. Her telepathy gives her a unique perspective of the world, and she strives to make sense of that and of who it makes her. While Chloe is undoubtedly a very friendly and extroverted person, she is also very introspective and puts effort and attention into understanding and expressing who she is.

Not all artists are 4s, of course, but artistic expression is important to most 4s. Chloe uses her art to express herself and her unique experiences, and to work through those things. And, like Rose, Chloe sees and values beauty in so many things.

Chloe doesn’t focus on sadness the way many 4s do; she always tries to be optimistic and look on the bright side of things. However, she’s not one to be rushed out of her feelings. If she’s feeling worried or guilty or doubtful about something, she won’t be convinced to let it go; it’s important to her that she has the time she needs to understand and process those feelings and thoughts. This comes through in a lot of her moral insecurities about her ability: her fear of becoming like Damien, her questions about the ethics of making art inspired by people’s thoughts, her guilt over blurting out people’s secrets.

Rose: 4

Core desire: to be uniquely themselves

Core fear: being insignificant, lacking an identity

Quite honestly, I don’t think I know enough about Rose to accurately type her. Based on what I do know, I’ve typed her as a 4 because her love of the dream worlds she visits reflect a deep appreciation of beauty characteristic of 4s. 

4s tend to dwell on melancholy and aren’t afraid of experiencing sadness or other negative emotions. Rose’s line “Maybe they need to confront some uncomfortable truths about themselves” in 410 may be an indication of this attitude. 

I can see both a 3 wing and a 5 wing in Rose: her competitiveness with her brother is characteristic of a 3, and her curiosity is a common 5 trait. 

Frank: 6

Core desire: safety, security

Core fear: being abandoned or without support

Frank is another character I don’t feel I know well enough to type, but the thing about him that most stands out to me is his loyalty. He’s extremely loyal to his unit (”if we left- if they shut us down, we wouldn’t be together anymore and we had to be together, we had to stay together, we had to die together and we didn’t” 311) and to Chloe and Vanessa. 

6s, in health, can be very good at calming others, much like Frank comforts Caleb in Safe House II.

[locoslowpoke]

The Defense and Prosecution of Pink Diamond /Rose Quartz: An Essay Rant Part 3

Part 1. Part 2.

And finally, the last bad deed that ties into many other ones but I will just summarize in one giant paragraph because I have yet to talk about the good deeds. That’s right y’all, I’m talking about her treatment of the Pearl we know and love today and the secrets she kept from her and the lies she told her. We have learned that ever since the start of Pink’s colony, Pearl has always been by her side. All Pearl wanted to do was to make Pink happy and keep her Diamond in good spirits. Which is why Pearl was the one who suggested that they go down to Earth and why she was the one who made the Gemsona of Rose Quartz in the first place. All she wanted was to make her Diamond happy. Of course, in the process of making Pink happy, Pearl definitely didn’t expect to catch feelings for her, but she did and Pink felt the same way for her too. All’s well that ends well, right. WRONG. As we already know from the song, “It’s Over, Isn’t It”, Rose took a more open approach when it came to their relationship. Pearl, for the most part, was fine with it because she knew that it wouldn’t last and that in the end, Rose would come back to her because she was the one who knew Rose best. She knew all her secrets, likes, dislikes, practically everything. Because to Pearl, Rose was her everything. She was her Diamond, her Rose, her best friend and confidant, and most importantly, her the only person who truly loved her. Rose knew that Pearl would do anything and everything for her.

Just look at the song again. Pearl went through a lot of hardships and obstacles just for the sole purpose of her love and attention. OF COURSE, Rose is not supposed to be held accountable for Pearl’s romantic feelings toward her, but at the very least, I feel like she could’ve tried to sit down and talk with Pearl about her feelings and about how she doesn’t feel the same for her anymore. Rose didn’t even properly prepare Pearl or the other Crystal Gems for her demise. Look at how they almost took out Steven’s gem. An episode I feel shows a ton on evidence supporting this part of my argument is A Single Pale Rose. When Steven starts encountering past versions of Pearl in her mind, one of the ones we meet are Crying Pearl, who is currently devastated that the person she has dedicated her entire life to is going to disappear and there is nothing she can do about it. She states, “What am I going to do when she disappears,” and “I’m going to lose her.”

What trips me up the most though is what that Pearl says before transporting Steven deeper into her mind though. When he ask her where the stupid phone is, she says, “It’s probably where I lost everything else.” Pay attention to that specific line. During the war, Pearl had made friends, just like Bismuth. People she had considered dear to her just like Rose. But when the Diamonds did their counter light attack, she lost everyone and everything that she considered dear to her, other than Garnet and Pearl. Just look at war torn Pearl. She’s devastated that basically everyone she knew is probably dead. She then utters this very important line. “Why did I do it?”. What could that line be referring to? That is none other than the act of helping Pink fake her shattering. Pearl basically realized at that moment that it was foolish to think that they could pull of such a big rebellion without humongous losses. Because of her tricking the other diamonds that Pink had been killed, it lead to the death of all her friends.

Pearl pleaded with Pink to find another way,that the retaliation of the Diamonds was going to be powerful. But Pink just waved off Pearl’s concern and said she had tried everything, which giving Pink credit where it’s due, it appears she did. But what makes me mad about this scene is how Pink says that she just wants to do it and to never look back. How convenient of Pink to do just that huh? Then she forces Pearl to keep her secret which essentially eats away at Pearl as the years go on. Pearl even snaps and loses it when she finds out that Rose kept secrets from her, like Lion and Bismuth, because she was supposed the one she could always trust. Just goes to show you, Rose did care, but Rose never truly cared enough, did she now?

Now, let me give the poor girl a break and stitch her back up now shall we? It’s not a lot, but it’ll do. One of the good things she did was the saving of Earth. Even though her intentions weren’t completely pure, her heart was on the right path. She saw that the human were capable of intelligent thinking and were creatures with their own customs, thoughts, and beliefs. She knew then that what she was doing to that planet was evil and decided to do the right thing and save the planet from any further damage. Another one of the good things we have to give her credit for is that she genuinely wanted the best for her fellow Crystal Gems and even stated that she wanted them to be able to live a good life on the Earth, free of the Diamonds and of their society’s expectations about them. As to why she couldn’t tell them of her true identity, that scenario could’ve gone 2 ways. She would tell them she is Pink Diamond, but that she is fighting for their freedom and to keep her identity a secret. One way it could’ve gone is that they accept and are happy with the fact that an actual Diamond is fighting for them, further invigorating their will to fight and determination. Or it could’ve sowed the seeds of doubt and mistrust. The soldiers would question why a Diamond is supposedly fighting for their rights, if this is just a test to see who is loyal to the Diamond Authority and to weed out bad seeds, and finally, why should they put their lives on the line for a vague promise that a Diamond has made to them. It would either be win-win or lose-lose, more likely the latter.

Another one of the good things she did was the collecting of her corrupted Crystal Gems. She technically didn’t even have to do go out of her way and bubble them, unless you’re counting the humans’ safety, but she did it primarily because she felt guilty. She felt responsible for their corrupted forms and the fact that she bubbled them makes me believe that she was planning on finding some way to heal her friends.

Another one of the good things we also have to give her credit for is Garnet. The Garnet we know and love today would not be who she is if it wasn’t for the guidance and wisdom of Rose. Rose was the one that taught her that she was an experience and that she was not wrong for existing. That she was made of love.

Finally, the last, best, most selfless thing Rose ever did in her life was giving birth to Steven. She was willing to cease existing just for the chance of being able to bring another life into the world. She not only did just that, but so much more. She gave birth to the most empathetic, understanding, and kindest child ever. Steven turned out to be everything Rose hoped she could be. She didn’t really think that the consequences of her actions would come back and haunt her son guys. All she wanted to do was bring forth a new life in this world that she hoped would turn out to be better than she could ever aspire to be. I think we all know how that turned out. She finally succeeded and did one good deed that resulted, for the most part, in only positives and no negatives anywhere to be found.

The main theme of this show is about the ability to change. Pink started out as a bratty, immature,and selfish. Then she grew into Rose, wise, caring, and full of love. She takes a lot of missteps along her journey, but she tries her best to continually evolve into a better version of herself.

Welp, that’s my essay on one of the more complex cartoon characters of the decade. She’s not completely great, but she’s not exactly evil either. She’s just a pure solid grey character in my opinion. And that’s alright by me. Let me know what you guys think. Was there anything I missed that you felt should’ve been in here? I would love to receive asks or feedback and I’m really open to discussion. Thanks so much for reading.

[manikas-whims]

Sasusaku prompt 93

A/N: Sorry it took me so long. I haven't written SasuSaku in ages and my writing is still kinda rusty.

So bear with me dear anon.

And prepare yourself for some angst and comfort..:3

Prompt: “Losing you was the most unbearable pain I’ve ever felt.”

Title: Promises

Ship: Sasuke Uchiha X Sakura Haruno

Words: 1938

Rating: T

Sitting on a couch in the lavish, new apartment that he was relocated to, Sasuke Uchiha looked anywhere but at the unexpectedly quiet, pink haired kunoichi right in front of him. For a brief moment, his wandering mismatched orbs met the obsidian ones of a pale guy named Sai, who is supposed to keep an eye on him for his month long house arrest. The weirdly stoic man stared at him from the far end of the living room, where he was standing comfortably with a sketch pad and a brush in hand. Sasuke averted his attention right back to his ex-teammate. Ever since his pardon (courtesy of Kakashi) for his many unwarranted crimes during his years as a missing S class nin, he had noticed the subtle change in her behavior. Its understandable that they aren’t the same teens who were put together under team 7 yet Sakura was never this guarded around him. It was almost as if she was trying to keep their encounters to the bare minimum, only stopping by to do a quick checkup on his healing wounds and his lost arm. Usually Naruto was around them to diffuse the awkwardness in such situations but unfortunately, the hyperactive blond wasn’t available that day. Something to do with him bidding farewell to his friends from the neighboring lands.

There could be numerous reasons pertaining to her silent treatment but Sasuke didn’t have the patience to mull over all of them and figure it out by himself. The only other option he was left with was to confront her about it. But having hurt her more than once due to his resolve for revenge and revolution, he didn’t know how to strike a normal conversation with her. The last time he uttered something to her was at the Valley of the End, where he had sincerely apologized to her. From then on, it had been just her looking after him at the hospital, narrating fascinating tales about her experiences as a medical ninja whilst he barely nodded his head.

Sasuke sighed. It had always been a one-sided effort— him paying no interest to anything other than his goals as she worked hard on maintaining their delicate bond. But he didn’t want things to remain that way any longer. He didn’t want his soul to stay shrouded in the darkness associated with his clan. If not more, he atleast owed her just as much importance as she gave to their every second spent together. She was generous enough to forgive him for everything he’d done and accepted him with her warm smile. She had let her tormented heart trust him yet again so easily that he wanted to become a man worthy of her forgiveness.

“Sakura,” he tried, hoping his query will reach across her by the shear intensity of his gaze.

The said woman however, didn’t spare him a glance. She was too focused on patching a partially healed cut on the left side of his lower abdomen. “Sasuke-kun,” she replied simply, signifying that she had heard him, her other palm gliding along his bare torso in search of any injuries she might have missed before.

He was glad that even after years of separation she didn’t drop the endearing suffix whenever she addressed him. To a stranger it may seem like nothing but to him, the small gesture meant that she still regarded him with the same level of admiration she did years ago. However, her response didn’t help steer the conversation anywhere.

Sasuke shut his mouth tight, his tongue pressing against the inner wall of his cheek in annoyance. Had it been any other time where she wasn’t mad at him for reasons unknown, she’d have said a few more words, making this whole thing a lot simpler for the both of them. But that day, she just wasn’t in the mood to waste her energy in idle chitchat.

With the examination done, Sakura placed her palms gently on either side of his face and angled it up. A pair of onyx and mauve clashed with refreshing emeralds and Sasuke gulped, watching her send spasms of her soothing chakra through his ocular network. The strain in his eyes reduced comparatively and Sakura let go of his face.

“There. Now you won’t have to stay in Konoha after your probation ends.” The words slipped out of her lips absentmindedly and her pupils dilated in shock. Probably because she wasn’t supposed to say that directly to him.

Sasuke took in a long breath, his calm demeanor replaced by slight irritation. Was that what it was about? Him leaving the village as soon as he was back in shape? He didn’t want to believe that his friend and lover since childhood wasn’t speaking to him over something as insignificant as this. Throughout his trial, the five Kages as well as their subordinates discussed various forms of punishment for him but it was he himself who chose that in the end. He pledged to travel around the allied nations, aid each land in repairing all the damage and inconvenience he had caused as a miscreant and even handle other wrongdoers if he happened upon them during the journey. It was his first step towards redemption— a suggestion that the jury readily agreed to because everyone was excited to give orders to and make Sasuke Uchiha dance to their whims. And so, of all the people he’s acquainted with in the Hidden Leaf Village, he had hoped that his former team would be supportive of his decisions from then on.

“Sakura..” he mumbled, unsure of how to proceed. How was he supposed to convince someone who had always readily understood him without him having to explain a word of it?

“Don’t..” she said, bringing a hand up to stop him, “You have no idea.”

He motioned his lips to try and make her realize how necessary this was for him yet she shook her head and went on, “Do you know how hard it is when your genuine feelings are shrugged off as a mere teenage crush? Do you know how difficult it is when everyone expects you to give up on your very own emotions? Do you!?” her tone escalated and she lowered her head to obscure the fresh tears falling down her eyes, “No you don’t. You do not understand it Sasuke-kun, you can’t! No one can..”

He bit the insides of his cheeks, his only hand twitching to wipe her tears away yet he resisted the urge, afraid of her reaction to his touch— to the touch of the same man who had harmed her on more occasions than protect her..

“Losing you was the most unbearable pain I’ve ever felt.” She stated with a sob, tilting her head up to let him witness the honesty in her tearful gaze. “I can’t lose you again..”

It was true that he didn’t understand. He wasn’t able to comprehend how a woman as benevolent, loving and beautiful as herself came to give her heart to someone so malign like him. He knew it was rude of him to ask for more of her when she had always given her best but he had to do this. She could hate him for the time being– god how he wished she’d have a sliver of hatred for him hidden somewhere beneath all those thick layers of her affection but she didn’t. She was too good to have any sorts of negative emotions towards him.

“I must do thi–”

“Stop lying to me, Sasuke-kun.” She cut him off, a bitter smile gracing her cherry lips, “Just admit that I’m not enough for you to stay. That I never will be..”

For the first time since his return to Konoha, Sasuke’s composed countenance wavered, shock momentarily flitting across his face. Subconsciously, he covered the dormant cursed seal on his neck and turned his head to the side. He had always considered her the small but strong flicker of joy in his rather desolate life so hearing her belittle herself irked him. Had he known that his plans about the travel were causing her this much distress and self-doubt, he would’ve talked to her sooner.

“I admit it.” He spoke, turning his head back to flash her an earnest gaze. “I admit that I can never understand the anguish of your heart. And I do acknowledge your indelible love for me. I’m grateful, Sakura..” He said, wishing somehow his words would express the sincerity in them. “But I can’t answer your feelings right now. I..I’m not worthy of them..”

“Sasuke-kun!” she literally yelled in disappointment. It was her turn to get irritated at his self-loathing. “I told you that I don’t hold you responsible for any of that. We both hurt each-other and..I have put those happenings far behind.”

“Have you now?” he asked pointedly and she bit her bottom lip hesitantly. “Have you, Sakura? If so, then why won’t you let me do the same?”

Her lips quivered then, all her pent up fury and agony unleashing like a wildfire as she broke down into loud sobs. Sasuke noticed how shaky her feet were and immediately wrapped his lone arm around her waist, helping her settle down on the couch next to him. But she paid no heed to his act for she was too busy weeping and wiping her tears, struggling with the sudden shattering of her emotions. And Sasuke watched. He made sure to capture the whole scenario with the power of his eyes..to have a recorded evidence of how much he had bruised the heart of the only woman who had truly and unselfishly cared for him..loved him!

“I..what if you don’t retur–”

His palm instantly clamped over her tear-soaked lips, desisting her from finishing that ominous sentence. This was what he wanted to bring an end to— people actively doubting him. He wanted to prove that he was way above his past, hateful self. He wanted people to trust him like they used to when he was still a willing citizen of this village. But most of all, he wanted to restore that blinding faith she had in him. And for that, he needed to leave. It was mandatory for him to pay the price of sins and redeem himself.

“I will never cause you misery again. I swear this on my pride as an Uchiha. I won’t tarnish your your soul any more than this. So please..have some faith in me.” He spoke as tenderly as he could, reaching out his hand to hold her dainty palm in his calloused one and gave a squeeze in assurance.

The glassy eyes of the pinkette faltered at his words, a mix of shock and pride swimming in them. And just like that, she allowed her head to nod slowly, a timid smile curving upon her lips. She allowed her scarred self to have faith in him.

“I’ll be back to you. And then, we can figure work out this unspoken whatever I have for you..” he added, as if to solidify the foundation of his previous statements.

More tears cascaded down her cheeks— happy tears! And she squeezed his palm in return. “Then, I’ll wait for you. Always..”

Silence took over the room yet again, the two young adults exchanging their sentiments through their meaningful gazes. They were too lost in their own little world to even take note of the pale, ex-root nin observing them the whole time, capturing those sequence of events not just in his memory but also on a fresh page of his sketchpad.

A/N: Hope it was upto your expectations..:)

Request SasuSaku oneshots from this Prompt List

Until Next Time...

~Manika

[madd-information]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Tic Toc Breakdown

A recent post on Tic Tok got some attention.  I’ve transcribed the videos here to make some comments on them and provide some additional information. Here are the relevant bits, full transcription below.

“Maladaptive Daydreaming is when you daydream so intensely that you talk to yourself or you act out scenarios by yourself. It's not like psychosis, you're not seeing things, it's daydreaming out loud. Like you're letting your daydream out.  And some people have severe maladaptive daydreaming, that's when they do those things in public and kinda don't realize they're doing it.”

MD is not “daydreaming out loud”, movement is not even a requirement. It is very common among us, however, about 21% of MDers don’t have any movement associated with their daydreaming behavior. Severe MD is when more than one area of life functioning is impaired by clinically significant distress or dysfunction stemming from the daydreaming behavior. It makes no difference if it happens publicly or if the MDer realizes they are doing it. MD is not like psychosis, she’s on point there.

“Maladaptive Daydreaming, itself, is not a disorder but it is a trait of quite a few different mental disorders and could be a trait of someone on the spectrum.  But there are creative and healthy ways to deal with this… if you make characters and story lines in your head cosplay them. Even if you put it on private and it's just for you turning what you've created into something tangible. People like this are so creative, so you guys are good at writing, could do scripts, skits, like TV shows, plays, like novels, incredible things!”

A little more murky.  MD is not an officially recognized disorder, this is true. It will take many more years of study to gather enough evidence that MD is a unique disorder, if, indeed, it is.  MD researchers are pursuing MD as a possible disorder in their studies and have developed reliable measures for it, here is a link to the MD [proposed] diagnostic criteria. 

MD is a construct that stands alone, though it may be closely related to other constructs.   Excessive or vivid daydreaming is a trait found in many disorders, many of these are not MD.  This seems to be a matter of not distinguishing other forms of fantasy from MD. 

There is not, yet, any research on MDs relationship to ASD. If they experience MD at higher rates than the general population is unknown.

As for the ‘healthy ways to deal’, recent research suggests that MDers are less creative than both normal daydreamers and non-disordered immersive daydreamers. This is because we don’t make anything from our fantasies in reality.  Giving yourself a creative outlet is good advice, even, as she says, if you never share it, the act of making fantasies tangible is a good way to engage in reality in a safe and artistic way.  I do think there is an underlying misconception here though; that MDers are naturally good story tellers.  That’s just not how MD works, fantasies do not play out like readable scripts, they are often repetitive and derivative and impossible to make sense of or turn into anything readable.  

Writing is a wonderful skill, and an absolutely accessible one.  If writing interests you, or if you just want to get things out of your head, or if you think it will be therapeutic, for any reason! Do it!  Don’t be upset if you suck at first because your’e “supposed to be a naturally good story teller”, you’re not, and sucking at something is just the first step to being kinda good at something, keep at it.

“So, it's not considered a disorder but there is like the lighter form of it... just when you're by yourself sometimes when you're bored, you're not doing anything, you just start imagining things, and do it out loud.  And then there's the severe which can be unhealthy because some people create like whole fictitious worlds and characters that they form friendships with and fall in love with and they would rather spend their time by themselves, like, locked up in their room or their house than actually go out and interact with real people in the real world. And that is when it can get tied in with OCD, but it's not a disorder that's in the DSM.”

I think what the underlying problem in these videos is that OP doesn’t seem to be making a distinction between IMers and MDers.  IM is not the “light form” of MD.   Maladaptive Daydreamers are a subset of Immersive Daydreamers. Immersive daydreaming is not pathological. MD is always, in every case, unhealthy or negative for the daydreamer in some way. That is the definition of MD.  If it is not then that person is not an MDer. And, again, the ‘out loud’ part is not true for many. She does tap into some reasons for MD distress/dysfunction, preferring fantasy to real world responsibilities (being ‘locked up in their room’) is a common experience for MDers.

Research does show a link with OCD, though it’s unclear if MD is (in at least some cases) an OCD spectrum disorder.  It is likely a behavioral addiction and is almost certainly a disordered form of dissociative absorption.  She’s not wrong here, just making OCD sound a little more at the forefront than it might actually be.  

“I went about those first videos, I feel like, completely wrong because maladaptive daydreaming isn't a healthy thing to do and I went about it in a way of not wanting people who did this to call themselves weird.  Because if you are the type of person that mouths and gestures in front of people they're already going to do that for you.” 

Her final video makes it more clear that she was trying to be more reassuring than informative and perhaps didn’t present what she had to say in a way that was appropriate. She just didn’t want MDers to get down on themselves, so, thanks for that. 

Full transcriptions below:

Video 1: If you do this now you know it has a name. 

So I'm willing to bet that a lot of you never heard of this and a lot of you might do this so I wanted to talk about it so you'll know you aren't that weird. I mean, just, you're not weird.  So I've done this thing my whole life that I thought everybody did until about two or three years ago when I started asking people that I was very very comfortable with, like, do you do this and they were all like "No?"

And that thing is Maladaptive Daydreaming.  So it is going to sound really weird for the people who don't do this but Maladaptive Daydreaming is when you daydream so intensely that you like talk to yourself or you act out scenarios by yourself. It's not like psychosis, you're not seeing things, it's daydreaming out loud. Like you're letting your daydream out.  And some people have severe maladaptive daydreaming, that's when they do those things in public and kinda don't realize they're doing it.  But now, if you do that, now you know that it has a name and it's not weird, you're just creative. It's cool. 

Video 2: Maladaptive Daydreaming again

So let's talk more about Maladaptive Daydreaming because I never thought that so many people would say that they do this and it's really cool because now you guys know you aren't alone and it has a name.  

So Maladaptive Daydreaming, itself, is not a disorder but it is a trait of quite a few different mental disorders and, I found out in the comments, could be a trait of someone on the spectrum.  But there are creative and healthy ways to deal with this or like find a way to make, what I would believe would be really cool is to make it tangible, right? So, this [Tictok?] is a wonderful outlet for that, if you make characters and story lines in your head cosplay them. Even if you put it on private and it's just for you turning what you've created into something tangible. People like this are so creative, so you guys are good at writing, could do scripts, skits, like TV shows, plays, like novels, incredible things!

Video 3: Pt2 Still doesn't mean you're weird. 

I wanted to do a little more about Maladaptive Daydreaming because there's actually a bunch more to it than what I could get out in the last video and it can get to an unhealthy place. So, it's not considered a disorder but there is like the lighter form of it, which is like what I would do like when, just when you're by yourself sometimes when you're like bored, you're not doing anything, you just start imagining things, and do it out loud. 

And then there's the severe which can be unhealthy because some people create like whole fictitious worlds and characters that they form friendships with and fall in love with and they would rather spend their time by themselves, like, locked up in their room or their house than like actually go out and interact with real people in the real world. And that is when it can get tied in with OCD, but it's not a disorder that's in the DSM so, I don't know, if you want to know more let me know. 

Video 4:Pt 3 I'm sorry

So I'm doing thing backwards because I should have made the captions in my maladaptive daydreaming videos, like, not that. Like, I went about those first videos, I feel like, completely wrong because, it's, maladaptive daydreaming isn't a healthy thing to do and I just went about it in a way of not wanting people who did this to call themselves weird.  Because if you are the type of person that mouths and gestures in front of people they're already going to do that for you. And I, so I went about it wrong, it's not that you're weird but it isn't a healthy thing to do and if it's to a point, guys, where, like, you would rather live in this place that you've created it may be tied in with OCD, which is just like that need to have things a certain way that you would rather live in this place that you've created. If your parents aren't understanding this YouTube it, there's lots of stuff on there guys

[thinkveganworld]

Lefty journalist Eric Alterman wrote a comprehensive book concerning the frequency of presidential lies, When Presidents Lie: A History of Official Deception and Its Consequences.  Presidential lying is unfortunately the norm.  This is an article I wrote a few years ago about George W. Bush’s many lies, and his most egregious one was lying the country into the Iraq War. The links are old and no longer work, but some people might find the article worth checking out.

In a May 2003 article for The American Prospect, Drake Bennett and Heidi Pauken write "it is no exaggeration to say that lying has become Bush's signature as president . . . More distressing even than the president's lies, though, is the public's apparent passivity. Bush just seems to get away with it."

The Bush administration lied and deceived its way into the Iraq war. (See below list of links to articles that detail the Bush administration's lies.)

Bush has also misled the public with fallacy and deceptive rhetoric. In The Progressive, April 2003, editor Matthew Rothschild talks about Bush's manipulation of language. Rothschild quotes a line from Bush's February 10 speech to a conference of religious broadcasters: "Before September the 11th, 2001, we thought oceans would protect us forever."

Later that day at an informal press conference, Bush repeated the "ocean" catchword, saying: "The world changed on September 11 . . . In our country, it used to be that oceans could protect us -- at least we thought so." He used the "oceans" example again in his March 6 press conference.

Rothschild asked Mark Crispin Miller, author of The Bush Dyslexicon, what he makes of Bush's rhetoric. Miller replied: "This notion of unprecedented vulnerability is absolutely crucial to the Bush team's anti-constitutional program. The true meaning of anything Bush says is connotative. What that statement really means is, 'We were safe, now we're in danger, and the danger is so severe that you must give me all possible power. What the oceans once did now only I can do."

Rothschild notes the Bush description is irrational, because oceans haven't really served as a buffer since Pearl Harbor. In fact, says Rothschild, the Soviet Union's intercontinental ballistic missiles were aimed at the U.S. for years despite the oceans' barrier.

However, when words are used in ways that manipulate public fear, facts and rationality are beside the point. The aim of the corruption of language -- whether conscious or unconscious -- is to confuse rather than clarify, and to cause the listener to believe an illusion rather than the truth.

In his article, "Fallacies and War," Dave Koehler points out misleading public arguments the administration uses to justify war. For example, the Bush team often presents the false dilemma -- claiming there are only two possible options when, in fact, more choices are available.

Kohler refers to the statement Bush issued right after 9/11: "You're either with us or with the terrorists." As Kohler says "Countries can be both against terrorism and not an ally of the U.S . . . Many countries are showing they are both against a preemptive war and against the current Iraqi regime." Bush said the U.N. must vote for war or face irrelevance. As Kohler points out, the U.N. can simultaneously survive and disagree with Bush.

The Bush team also repeatedly uses the fallacy of exclusion, meaning they leave out important aspects of any given argument. For example, Colin Powell and George Bush spoke about aluminum tubes being used for uranium enrichment for nuclear weapons use. Kohler notes they failed to take into account the essential fact that U.N. inspectors said the tubes were conventional rocket artillery casings.

Kohler points to another fallacy, argument from ignorance -- the claim that what hasn't been disproved must be true. The Bush administration implies Iraq must have weapons of mass destruction because of Iraq's failure to prove it doesn't. As Kohler says, the burden of proof is on the party making the claim, therefore the U.S. "must prove that Iraq has WMD. It is impossible for Iraq to prove they don't."

In his article, "An Orwellian Pitch," John R. McArthur, publisher of Harper's Magazine, writes about the Bush team's manipulation of public opinion. He says, "Effective propaganda relies on half-truths and the conflation of disparate 'facts' (like Saddam's genuine human rights violations)." McArthur says the Bush team has managed to get away with this deceptive fact twisting because they use a tactic George Orwell described as "slovenliness" in the language.

Both Orwell and Aldous Huxley have written about dictatorial leaders and their methods of managing public opinion. In Brave New World Revisited, Huxley wrote that tyrants often use propaganda techniques that rely on the following. (1) Repetition of catchwords, (2) Suppression of facts the propagandist wants the public to ignore. (3) Inflaming mass fear or other strong emotional reaction for the purpose of controlling public opinion and behavior.

Huxley talks about Adolf Hitler's propaganda efforts to appeal to the emotions of the masses instead of reason. He notes that Hitler systematically exploited the German people's hidden fears and anxieties. The Bush administration has clearly exploited the American people's fears of terrorism since September 11.

According to Huxley, Hitler said the masses run on instinct and emotion rather than facts and are easy to manipulate, while society's intellectuals and independent thinkers insist on factual evidence and logic and easily see through fallacies. Huxley says Hitler encouraged the masses to attack or shout down intellectual dissenters rather than engage them in logical debate, because the rational dissenters would likely win any argument on the basis of fact.

Bush supporters have tried to silence dissent. Media bulldogs such as Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage often use Hitler's suggested technique of attacking and shouting down antiwar voices.

Huxley quotes Hitler's statement that "all propaganda must be confined to a few bare necessities and then must be expressed in a few stereotyped formulas . . . Only constant repetition will finally succeed in imprinting an idea upon the memory of a crowd." Bush has delivered the stereotyped formulas "You're either with us or with the terrorists;" "the oceans can't protect us;" and Saddam is connected with "al Qaeda," using constant repetition.

There can be little doubt the Bush administration has worked to coerce Congress, the public and the media into supporting Bush's Iraq policy. On MSNBC, reporter Jeff Greenfield discussed the administration's war propaganda with news anchor Paula Zahn. Greenfield said propaganda isn't necessarily a negative thing, because it can influence an enemy regime to behave in ways that help U.S. troops and government officials.

The problem is, Bush's propaganda has targeted average American citizens and Congress, using tactics that were once reserved to influence enemy governments abroad. Propaganda is negative when it promotes lies and encourages people to act against their own best interests, as the Bush administration's spin has done.

In the months before Congress gave Bush the authority to wage war on Iraq, Bush administration officials tried to influence members of Congress by briefing them with reports that alleged Iraq tried to buy uranium from Niger, a central African country. Later it was revealed the Niger documents had been forged.

Congressman Henry Waxman said the Bush administration likely hoodwinked members of Congress. According to a March 25 Mother Jones article, Waxman said he voted to give Bush authority to invade Iraq in large part because he believed the administration's claims about Iraq's effort to purchase nuclear weapons.

The Mother Jones article includes an excerpt from a reproachful letter Waxman sent to George W. Bush. Waxman wrote: "It appears that at the same time that you, Secretary Rumsfeld, and State Department officials were citing Iraq's efforts to obtain uranium from Africa as a crucial part of the case against Iraq, U.S. intelligence officials regarded this very same evidence as unreliable. If true, this is deeply disturbing: it would mean that your Administration asked the U.N. Security Council, the Congress, and the American people to rely on information that your own experts knew was not credible."

When Congress gave Bush virtually unlimited power to wage war, many legislators were unaware Bush officials had essentially planned the invasion of Iraq and "regime change" years before September 11. For more on this, see:

The Plan - Were Neo-Conservatives' 1998 Memos a Blueprint for Iraq War? Nightline, 3/5/03

Practice to Deceive - Chaos in the Middle East is not the Bush hawks' nightmare scenario--it's their plan, by Joshua Marshall, The Washington Monthly, April 2003

Just the Beginning - Is Iraq the opening salvo in a war to remake the world? by Robert Dreyfuss, The American Prospect, 4/1/03

Bush sold the Iraq war by repeatedly (and falsely) linking September 11 with Saddam Hussein.

In a March 14 article for The Christian Science Monitor, Linda Feldmann writes, "In his prime-time press conference last week, which focused almost solely on Iraq, President Bush mentioned Sept. 11 eight times. He referred to Saddam Hussein many more times than that, often in the same breath with Sept. 11. Bush never pinned blame for the attacks directly on the Iraqi president. Still, the overall effect was to reinforce an impression that persists among much of the American public: that the Iraqi dictator did play a direct role in the attacks. A New York Times/CBS poll this week shows that 45 percent of Americans believe Mr. Hussein was 'personally involved' in Sept. 11."

Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity, a group of former CIA officers, argues that the Bush administration's evidence on Iraq's alleged threat to the U.S. and purported ties to Al Qaeda are not credible. According to a March 14 Associated Press article, members of VIPS accused Bush administration officials of "cooking" the intelligence books and promoting "information that does not meet an intelligence professional's standards of proof."

In a speech in early February, Colin Powell told the nation he had a transcript of a new Osama bin Laden tape -- one that proved a "partnership" between Al Qaeda and Iraq. However, in a February 12 article for Salon, "War, lies and audiotape," reporter Joe Conason points out Powell misrepresented the transcript. The actual document, says Conason, "clearly contradicted the headlines [Powell] was trying to make."

The Bush administration also lied about Iraq's weapons capabilities. According to a March 10 ABC news website report: "Before Congress, and in public, President Bush and Secretary of State Colin Powell have repeatedly pointed to aluminum tubes imported by Iraq which they say are for use in making nuclear weapons. But on Friday, head United Nations nuclear inspector Mohammad ElBaradei told the Security Council that it wasn't likely that the tubes were for that use."

According to another article on the subject of Iraq's weapons capabilities: "On February 5, Colin Powell told the U.N. Security Council that the Iraqis possessed a drone plane that could fly 500 kilometers, violating U.N. rules that limit the range of Iraqi weapons to 150k." According to the article, Jane's Defence Weekly, one of the most respected publications on defense matters, reported it was "doubtful" the drone could have flown the distance claimed by Powell. Drones expert Ken Munson said on the Jane's web site there was no possibility the drone could fly "anywhere near 500 kilometers." Munson added, "The design looks very primitive, and the engines -- which have their pistons exposed -- appear to be low-powered."

Since September 11, the Bush administration and its various media mouthpieces have tried to intensify the public's fear of terrorism, using lies to build a case for war and other questionable policies. Members of Congress, with few exceptions, have abdicated their responsibility to the American people by giving Bush unprecedented freedom to make war at will with virtually no congressional oversight.

Fortunately, Representatives Henry Waxman, Dennis Kucinich and a handful of others in the House, and Senator Robert Byrd, Senator Edward Kennedy and a few others in the Senate have challenged some of the Bush policies. However, too many in Congress have acquiesced to Bush on almost every important legislative issue and failed to fully investigate the Bush administration's most egregious misdeeds.

U.S. diplomat John Brady Kiesling resigned from the State Department on February 27. In his letter of resignation, Kiesling said: "We have not seen such systematic distortion of intelligence, such systematic manipulation of American opinion, since the war in Vietnam. We spread disproportionate terror and confusion in the public mind, arbitrarily linking the unrelated problems of terrorism and Iraq . . . The policies we are now asked to advance are incompatible not only with American values but also with American interests."

The American people should urge Congress to exercise its oversight role and check the Bush administration's power. The U.S. Constitution requires such checks and balances, and American democracy won't thrive without them. If high crimes and misdemeanors can be established, Congress shouldn't rule out impeachment.

The following are links to articles that describe the Bush administration's many lies:

Articles detailing a long list of Bush lies on a variety of issues.

Articles showing the Bush administration planned to invade Iraq and reshape the Middle East long before September 11 -- though they have portrayed the invasion as a response to the World Trade Center attacks.

Articles showing Bush administration used forged evidence to convince the public and U.N. that Iraq tried to obtain WMD from Niger.

Articles showing U.S. spied on friendly governments and/or doctored evidence to promote war with Iraq.

Articles on Bush's lying and/or using fallacious "reasoning" to gain support for war.

Article showing Bush administration has exaggerated "smart bombs"' ability to avoid targeting civilians.

Articles showing the Bush effort to show an alliance between Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein was misleading.

Articles related to Bush/Powell deception about Saddam's ability to deliver weapons of mass destruction.

Article on Bush administration's choice of a convicted embezzler to oversee Iraq.

Article detailing reasons Bush could be criminal in attacking Iraq.

"All the President's Lies - Bush's rhetoric bears no resemblence to his policies. How does he get away with it?" by Drake Bennett and Heidi Pauken, The American Prospect, 5/1/03 http://www.prospect.org/print/V14/5/bennett-d.html

[Start with] "Reap What You Sow", by Dwight Meredith, P.L.A. - A Journal of Politics, Law and Autism, 2/27/03 http://www.pla.blogspot.com/2003_02_23_pla_archive.html

"The Plan - Were Neo-Conservatives' 1998 Memos a Blueprint for Iraq War?" Nightline, 3/5/03 http://abcnews.go.com/sections/nightline/DailyNews/pnac_030310.html

"Practice to Deceive - Chaos in the Middle East is not the Bush hawks' nightmare scenario--it's their plan," by Joshua Marshall, The Washington Monthly, April 2003 http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2003/0304.marshall.html

"Just the Beginning - Is Iraq the opening salvo in a war to remake the world?" by Robert Dreyfuss, The American Prospect, 4/1/03 http://www.prospect.org/print/V14/4/dreyfuss-r.html

"Who Lied to Whom? Why did the Administration endorse a forgery about Iraq's nuclear program?" by Seymour Hersh, The New Yorker, 3/31/03 http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?030331fa_fact1

"A Spurious 'Smoking Gun'," by Chris Smith, Mother Jones, 3/25/03 http://www.motherjones.com/news/update/2003/13/we_338_01.html

"The Blame Game Between Bush and the Brits," by Richard Wolffe, Mark Hosenball and Tamara Lipper, Newsweek, 3/17/03 http://www.msnbc.com/news/883164.asp?cp1=1

"Fake Iraq documents `embarrasing' for U.S.," from David Ensor, CNN.com, 3/14/03 http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/03/14/sprj.irq.documents/index.html

"Google Search: africa uranium forged documents" http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&q=africa+uranium+forged+documents

"Spies Like Us," by Joel Bleifuss, In These Times, 3/14/03 http://inthesetimes.com/comments.php?id=118_0_3_0_C

"Ex-CIA Officers Questioning Iraq Data," by John Lumpkin, Associated Press, 3/14/03 http://www.ratical.org/ratville/CAH/linkscopy/IraqDataQ.html

"The impact of Bush linking 9/11 and Iraq - American attitudes about a connection have changed, firming up the case for war," by Linda Feldmann The Christian Science Monitor, 3/14/03 http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/0314/p02s01-woiq.htm

"An unproven case, a spurious war - Sans evidence, polls show Americans rallying around the White House," by Joe Conason, Working For Change, 3/24/03 http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=14705&CFID=6125472&CFTOKEN=92732152

"Fallacies and War - Misleading a nervous America to the wrong conclusion," by Dave Koehler, phillyburbs.com, 2/27/03 http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/50401.html

"An Orwellian Pitch - The inner workings of the war-propaganda machine," by John R. McArthur, LA Weekly, 3/21/03 http://www.laweekly.com/ink/printme.php?eid=42761

"Military Precision versus Moral Precision," by Robert Higgs, The Independent Institute, 3/24/03 http://www.independent.org/tii/news/030323Higgs.html

"Bin There Before - But New Tape May Be Iraq Link U.S. Seeks," by William Bunch, Philadelphia Daily News, 2/12/03 http://www.philly.com/mld/dailynews/5157847.htm

"War, lies and audiotape - What Colin Powell failed to mention about the bin Laden tape," by Joe Conason, salon, 2/12/03 http://www.salon.com/opinion/conason/2003/02/12/osama/index_np.html

"Iraqi drone `very primitive': expert," from correspondents in London, News.com.au, 3/15/03 http://www.news.com.au/common/printpage/0,6093,6130936,00.html

"Questionable Evidence - Is Weapons Case Against Iraq Disintegrating?" Martha Raddatz, ABCNEWS.com, 3/10/03 http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/2020/GMA030310Iraq_weap ons_evidence.html

"Who will trust our man in Iraq? - White House prepares to install convicted embezzler to oversee Iraqi 'freedom'," by Joe Conason, Working For Change, 4/16/03 http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=14845&CFID=6668624&CFTOKEN=43382939

"Attack on Iraq Could Turn Bush into Criminal," by Thomas Walkom, Toronto Star, 3/18/03 http://www.commondreams.org/views03/0318-02.htm

[davids69811]

Just how to Handle Your Self-Esteem Issues

Having reduced self-confidence or self-worth can restrain you from ending up being successful in life. If you think that you do not have the nerve and stamina to conquer your anxieties as well as resistance, below are some steps to help you develop a much healthier self-esteem. Dealing With Self Esteem Issues In A Relationship

Identify any kind of troubling aspects or events.

The very first you must always do to help you get over the sensation of nervousness is to establish what scenarios, events and things that adds in deflating your self-confidence.

These variables may consist of an upcoming job interview, a major exam, a gigantic adjustment in life such as shedding your better half, breakups, or dealing with monetary situation.

Having the ability to identify any one of these factors can ultimately help you root out the main resource of your inadequate self-confidence.

Modification your restricting beliefs.

Every demanding circumstance that stumbled upon into your life, your subconscious mind has a tendency to produce false or limiting beliefs as a way to translate that particular event.

Whenever these situations occur, you require to focus with your thoughts. Your mind may create sensible as well as accepted ideological backgrounds or might create a totally fallacy system based on the scenario that happened.

If your mind had actually produced a false belief, you need to step in as well as transform them into favorable ones to make sure that it won't affect your self-esteem as well as confidence when you're caught up on that very same situation.

Beginning attesting your staminas.

Everyone has their very own flaws as well as toughness considering that everyone are birthed imperfect. You might master imaginative arts yet suck on sporting activities but the point is that, we can never be proficient at everything!

What we can do regarding it is to be happy and verify our own possessions and also toughness. By doing so, we are enhancing our mentality as well as self-esteem making us realise that there's something stunning as well as wonderful within ourselves.

Consider self hypnosis.

If you're still having troubles taking care of your self-worth issues as well as restricting ideas, you might intend to take into consideration self hypnotherapy. This effective mind strategy allows you to find in call to your subconscious mind as well as allow it to transform your unfavorable idea system.

Hypnosis is made to allow go all your unfavorable and limiting beliefs as well as turn them right into favorable ones. This will certainly enable you to lastly let go of your inner resistance on certain points that is keeping you away from being totally free and successful in life.

Self-confidence Issues and Just How to Deal With Them

We are checking out self-confidence issues and how to take care of them. Low self esteem is an enormous issue everywhere, as well as the very first thing you must do is not be embarrassed if you have this trouble. What you do need to do is make some changes to your life and tackle this problem directly.

Reduced self esteem means you have bouts of feeling pointless, you are anxious in business as well as do not feel comfy speaking up as you obtain daunted by other people easily. You battle to choose as you do not feel you have the power to do so.

So what we require to do is get that feeling of empowerment back into your spirit. Exactly how do we set about this? Well let us begin by making today the very first day of the remainder of our lives.

From today thus you are mosting likely to make decisions based on what you really feel is the most effective for you and also except individuals around you.

You are mosting likely to begin to know that every activity has a consequence, therefore you are mosting likely to take complete control and declare in your actions, and afterwards really feel equipped when you see what the repercussions are, as you can see that you actually can make a modification to your life and the people around you.

When you awake in the morning you are mosting likely to lie there for some time as well as consider all the good things that have taken place in your life, all the wonderful things that individuals have said regarding you, and also all the important things that you like about yourself. Allow all these good, favorable, energising ideas clean right into your mind so that they are brilliant as well as colourful as well as genuine.

Do this in the early morning and also when you go to sleep during the night, as well as throughout peaceful components of the day, bring those images back up right into your mind and hold them there.

Just How Self Esteem Issues Can Influence Eco Friendly Living

How Eco Friendly Is Your Human Self?

We are in a time of world change as well as brand-new awareness. Consciousness is changing and also we are returning to basics to save our planet. Might it be that we as people are mirrors that show the globe we produce based on the globe we are producing within. Much of us understand of theories, expressions or beliefs such as the regulation of attraction; you get even more of what you concentrate on, like draws in like, so within so without as well as numerous have experienced these regulations in our very own life. If we focus on having a negative day it seems to worsen and if we focus on the smile of a baby our heart warms and also we smile. Is it time then for all of us to look into a mirror right into our own eyes to attach to our organic soul, so we can take a reality check on the self we are developing in a non-judgemental, interested, probably flexible fashion so that we can examine some of our very own unreasonable beliefs concerning ourselves, that we mirror in an outward direction to the world. As humans we are very intricate animals. We claim one point however we mean one more. We are quick to judge. A lot of the judging we do is to our very own self and since that doesn't feel excellent, we go as well as judge others which makes us momentarily feel much better, yet after that we lug the sense of guilt of how we evaluated one more in addition to the rubbish sensations we feel about our self. After that these adverse powers obtain reflected back into the globe; the world shows back to us and also it comes to be a rotating doorway. Do you ever before quit to analyze your ideas or your practices patterns that re-enforce any kind of self-confidence issues you might have, or do you run your life on automatic pilot repeating the rotating door disorder leaving you little power on your own, let alone any entrusted to buy eco friendly living.

Older But Any Kind Of Wiser - Have You Lost Your Eco Friendly Living Self?

For any true eco pleasant living change to take place within our world, natural changes require to begin at home; within your mind, body as well as spirit. A person that is balanced whole and also total, having resolved self-confidence issues will certainly have better self well worth and the ability to really feel love for the entire of self also the components they have in the past put down. An individual that is willing to be take on sufficient to love him or her self, after that has the ability of emanating caring kindness beyond themselves as they mirror from themselves the sort of globe that they wish to stay in, a world that they want their kids or their future children to grow up in. Self approval and also love is where it all starts. Just how can we handle globe battles if our world within is insecure. If we build on our own internal structures, after that we can develop an eco friendly living realm around us in a manner of speaking. We will certainly be less vital as well as judgemental of others as well as we will certainly have the ability to open our eyes and hearts allowing us to understand that all of us share the exact same vision on this plant - world consistency, equilibrium and also tranquility within as well as without.

Do You Know Who You Really Are?

Perhaps many individuals are rejecting the suggestion of international warming as well as climate modification since it is too much to absorb or comprehend, as they have a lot of difficulties or self esteem issues of their own to approve a problem outside of them selves. Can it be a very easy option for some of us to reject that it is really occurring, disbelieve the evidence we are being shown in the media, suggest conspiracy theory theories or merely to disregard it because if we don't recognize it, it will all simply disappear in its own time. Isn't that what much of us problem ourselves to do as we persuade ourselves that if we disregard something it will simply vanish? Does it truly go away or does it hum behind-the-scenes like a bothersome fly.

What if all that is happening all over us within the world is just a representation of our anxieties as well as instability within and also what happens if we took care of ahead to terms with our instabilities within, neither labelling them excellent or bad, however just moving right into acceptance of them, perhaps the structure within would be more strong enabling us to begin building once again for a better future not just for ourselves, but for every one of humanity. When we focus on unhappiness, we appear to obtain more distress, when we concentrate on world negative thoughts we seem to get adverse news or unfavorable happenings within our individual life, when we focus on absence, whether it be absence of money, lack of inspiration or love; not enough, there seems to be also much less.

Probably you could expand your heart to attach to all the people you do not recognize around the world that have the very same sort of battles that you do. If all of us placed our very own battles right into stack and looked around at other individuals's piles, we would certainly most likely grab our very own pile back. Most of us have our struggles and insecurities to handle, but we should not obtain so shed within them that we shed connection with our gorgeous world that too is battling now as well as needs our assistance.

You Can Treat Your Self-confidence Issues

In order to heal your very own self-confidence issues, you have to first start by examining on your own. The reasons that our self esteem is doing not have can be abundant. What your daddy, mother, bro, sis, spouse, other half or whoever did to you or does to you maybe still every day. The first point is to recognize your own 'why'. You might discover numerous factors for your doing not have self-confidence. The majority of us do!

The following point is to realize that the person making you really feel bad does not have control over your sensations. You have the power to 'turn it off'. In some cases doing this may need you to take more than just mental action. Certainly, if you're being literally abused in any way, you have to take yourself out of that circumstance. If someone is physically harming you, just how do you expect to locate any type of joy there? Just leave.

As well as likewise, if you're being abused emotionally, you also must take on your own out of the circumstance. This might involve preventing some telephone call or seeing 'loved ones' much less. If they are not making you really feel enjoyed, then determine exactly how to like them from a distance. Naturally, with some enjoyed ones, you'll want to speak with them regarding exactly how they make you feel prior to you cut them off. Yet after that, if they continue, you should have no sorrow regarding preventing them. They'll understand.

With either situation, physical or mental misuse, it is essential to forgive them also if you do have to avoid them. Discovering that forgiveness and also allowing it go are critical to your very own individual advancement.

Ultimately, all of us need to take obligation for our self esteem issues. We need to all understand that we have the capability to manage our emotions every one of the time. The most significant moment where I directly got control over my self esteem issue was when I recognized WHO really mattered to me. Somebody mentioned to me that in the 10 Commandments, the just one mentioned are God and also your parents. Regard God and your moms and dads and don't hurt anyone else (the other 8). This brought about a remarkable modification in my life where I really understood that it didn't matter what every one of those other individuals thought! It really did not matter at all! When that principle truly 'sank in', I was cost-free. Devoid of worrying about what everybody thought of me. They didn't matter anymore!

It still took me a couple of years a lot more to find to terms with my self-confidence issues around my dad. When I recognized that I may never ever please him, however that I might recognize him, then those self esteem issues additionally dissipated. I might 'not care' what my papa thought of how I led my life without dishonoring him! This was another major advancement for me, and ever since I have been completely free from self-confidence issues.

[taekookismylifeline]

(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you

ao3:  (x)

Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.

Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin

Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24)

Chapter Twenty-Five -  you created me for you. i am yours.

It was torture. That was the only thing Yoongi could compare it to. The torment of not being able to touch Hoseok throughout the week was painstakingly excruciating. He had found himself blurting out if Hoseok could come over to his on the weekend, and then repeating the question online later that night. It had been mortifyingly embarrassing to insinuate his intentions, but incredibly appeasing to know that Hoseok wanted the same thing. Their phone call on Tuesday night had only increased his longing for Hoseok to touch him, to kiss him, to take him. His relief had only lasted that evening, however, as when he first saw Hoseok in school on Wednesday morning a ravenous monster curdled within him, causing every inch of his skin crave and scream for contact.

He had ended up giving Hoseok tips on how to play basketball, he had hoped it was a decent enough excuse for his hands to secure themselves on Hoseok’s hips – itching to lift the material of his shirt to feel the muscle that writhed underneath – but, of course, Namjoon saw right through it and had the audacity to ask if he was ‘getting any’.

When Friday rolled around, Yoongi was extremely certain that he would implode, Hoseok couldn’t seem to look him in the eye and was insistent on avoiding his touches. He had told himself that he was simply imagining it, that maybe it was a way for his body to respond to his sexual frustration by twisting the image in front of him to make it appear as if Hoseok couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him, just so that he could control himself.

So, of course, Yoongi was immensely relieved that Hoseok sat next to him on the bus to Taehyung’s house, he was becoming increasingly unnerved about Jimin and what he was going to say – he wasn’t sure whether to trust Jimin or not – so when he was battling with himself about whether to reach to Hoseok for comfort and Hoseok wrapped his fingers around Yoongi’s hand, he felt every negative energy drain out of him. No one had ever had that effect on him before and he was bewildered by it. And then Hoseok had said that to him, “When I’m with you, everything’s fine. More than fine. Better,” Yoongi didn’t think his heart could beat any faster, he was sure that the happiness formed from Hoseok’s words was radiating from his skin.

When Jimin had arrived at Taehyung’s bedroom door, Yoongi was certain that Hoseok had figured something out about the whole situation, something that had made him livid. He had no hesitations when moving towards Hoseok and pulling him away from Jimin – no matter any ill feelings Yoongi or Hoseok held towards Jimin, he couldn’t let Hoseok take his anger out on one of his friends, he knew that Hoseok would be bound to regret it later. Hoseok had leant into his touch, not repulsed by his contact as Yoongi was sure he had been earlier on that day, and he had savoured it.

Hoseok wasted no time in ripping apart the tough guy persona that Jimin fronted with. Yoongi sat in shock as he heard the boy next to him spill his heart with seething anger, he hadn’t realised just how many compromising scenarios that Jimin had pulled him, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jeongguk and Namjoon into, and hearing it all be hurled into the open air had only made any ill will towards Jimin multiply at a rapid pace. His ears stung upon listening to how upset Hoseok was, and his heartbeat increased erratically when Hoseok expressed his concern with Yoongi. All words of sadness and heartbreak coated in malice. It was all Yoongi could do but cling onto Hoseok’s wrist to stop him from splintering.

Still, Jimin sat through it all, his body bent and tears gushing from his eyes like a flooding river, and apologised. He had turned to Yoongi, begged for his forgiveness – something that Yoongi had never seen him once do, it was refreshing to see Jimin like that, changing before his eyes; but he wasn’t sure he liked it. Jimin was supposed to be a headstrong character withlight-hearted grace, not a broken mess. It had pained Yoongi.

Yoongi had read the texts that had been exchanged between Jimin and Jinsoo, Jimin must have backed up the files on the phone that had been taken by parents – he seemed to always be one step ahead of everything, at least that hadn’t changed about him. Yoongi had read the texts over Hoseok’s shoulder with a struggling heart, one part of him wanted to believe in Jimin’s innocence whilst another screamed that he was too gullible, that Jimin could have erased the texts that were too incriminating.

But Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to do it, to turn his back on someone who was clearly struggling with their mistakes – he had made mistakes too, ones that could have cost him one of the dearest people closest to his heart, Hoseok. If Yoongi abandoned Jimin in his time of need, he must not have learnt from his own mistakes. Although Hoseok was right, Jimin hadn’t been the greatest friend, Jimin seemed to be past the point of no return – openly crying and admitting he was wrong in front of the people that he needed the most – and was in desperate need of change. Yoongi couldn’t do it to him. After hearing Jimin out, feeling his own heart thaw, he spoke the words of forgiveness, ultimately freeing any ill intention. He felt lighter somehow, more hopeful.

The feeling of hope didn’t diminish once Jimin began his story, in fact it only grew stronger, fluttering around in his stomach. Jimin wanted to change, he was sure of it, and because he wanted to change there was every possibility that he could. Yoongi was the one to speak first about Jimin’s predicament, telling him that he should reach out to his mother so that she could aid him in every way a mother could do. His heart felt warm when Hoseok backed him up, insisting that it was the right thing to do, and a smile raised on his lips when Taehyung agreed with him – maybe silently apologising for the cold attitude he showed towards Yoongi on that Saturday night at the club.

Ultimately, Jimin was still their friend and they wanted what was best for him. Perhaps, all of their thinking was that if they showed Jimin how he could benefit from their friendship, Jimin’s heart would soften and he would re-mould himself into the person that he had always wanted to be. Someone loving, considerate and kind but still with an air of teasing and mischief that hung about him. Someone that Yoongi had first saw in Jimin but had become overshadowed by a cocky persona to hide his insecurities. Jimin was sure to become someone Yoongi would be more than happy accept back into his life.

Hoseok’s hand in his had never felt warmer than before, sparking a fire of new hope and new beginnings.

It had all come crashing down around him, the high of friendship and the chance to recover, when Hoseok refused, yet again, to make eye contact with him. They had just locked eyes when Yoongi was about to climb onto the bus before Hoseok tore his attention away, bidding him goodbye with a flat, “see you.” He didn’t even mention seeing him tomorrow.

Yoongi had step foot on the bus, pointedly not glimpsing out of the window, shame-faced and his heart quivering. It was evident that he hadn’t been imagining it earlier on today, Hoseok was avoiding him deliberately. But why? It didn’t make sense. Hoseok was just as interested as he was about what come tomorrow, wasn’t he? A cloud of doubt crossed over his mind, contradicting his thoughts. Maybe he was wrong. He had been the one to suggest Hoseok coming over; he had been the one to bring up the talk about sexual activity in texts, and he had been the one who had had no self-constraint and had acted like an animal, insisting on touching Hoseok with no real excuse – touching his hips, running his hands through Hoseok’s hair and clinging onto his wrist like an uncivilised monkey.

Maybe he had read into all of Hoseok’s cues incorrectly. Maybe Hoseok had grudgingly agreed to come over to his house so that Yoongi would stop inappropriately touching him in the eye of the public. He ripped his eyes away from his ridiculous sorrowful expression when the thought occurred to him that maybe Hoseok didn’t even want to touch him, and that’s why he had been so tense every time Yoongi initiated contact.

But none of this made any sense. On Tuesday at school Hoseok had confessed with a bright red face that he found Yoongi adorable, – which had been the spark to the fuel which propelled Yoongi forwards and caused him to ask if Hoseok would come to his – and on Tuesday night, Hoseok had told him that he wanted to do ‘stuff’ with Yoongi. Hoseok had said that he wanted to kiss him, wanted to touch him, wanted to make him moan. It was like every fantasy that Yoongi had ever had about the other was coming true, which made him question everything further.

He wanted to find out the truth, which was what inspired him to message Hoseok when he had returned home. Hoseok wrote back, distant and unapologetic about the way that he had treated Yoongi today, so Yoongi retaliated in the same way. Hoseok was vague before writing his nickname, calling for him to come back, just like a pet dog. A sudden burst of rage mixed with the frustration lurking inside of him, and he followed what every couple did when they were in a fight – he left Hoseok on read.

No particular feeling of satisfaction swirled within him when Hoseok was silenced, in fact it only made the anger thundering inside of him fade into abandonment. It was like Hoseok didn’t care enough. And then the anger was back, but at himself, how dare he slump around and stew in his own pity?

The anger transitioned back into frustration, starvation of the lack of touch. He recalled Hoseok’s voice in his ears from Tuesday night’s calling session. With a shaky breath, he laid back and gave in. His hand crept downwards, pulling at his pants and his underwear, swirls of pleasure humming through him and exploding when he pictured Hoseok on him, in him, moving against him and growling in his ear, leaving marks all over Yoongi’s body and stroking him exactly the way Yoongi needed to reach his climax.

After clearing himself up, Yoongi had so many conflicting emotions parading around in his heart, that when he went to bed at a surprisingly early time - turning his phone off when receiving no new messages – he felt very much numb.

It was a dismal day outside when he woke up at a disgustingly early hour. It matched his mood perfectly as he watched the downpour of rain from his window, the overcast skies rumbled with the threat of oncoming thunder and the pavement was damp and shined in the early morning streetlights.

With nothing much to do, and his house silent as it was free of its usual occupants save for him, he turned his phone back on. One new message. His heart leapt and then deflated upon reading it, it was a text from his service provider, something about a deal package. How riveting. He sighed in frustration and headed off to the shower.

He didn’t really know how it happened but suddenly it was 9AM and he was sitting at his desk with his laptop propped open watching make-up tutorials online. Yoongi didn’t wear make-up because his skin was sensitive, and he didn’t know enough to find make-up that was skin sensitive, but he appreciated the art. He liked the satisfaction he received from a make-up artist blending out his or her eyeshadow, or creating the perfect contour. It was relaxing and quelled the nerves that were jostling about inside of him, eating him alive.

His stomach rumbling was the only thing that distracted him from his task, reluctantly he shut down his laptop and climbed downstairs. His parents had left late last night, they were trying to explore the country they had lived in all their lives as much as they could as they had both agreed that they should have partaken in more travelling when they were younger. They had offered for Yoongi to join them, but he had shaken his head and excused himself, saying that he had too much homework. It was only partially true, but they didn’t need to do that. His brother had returned to college this weekend to participate in an open day to entice new students to join.

He was well and truly alone, which he didn’t mind. Yoongi rather liked silences, it offered him the chance to zone out and think about things that the stress of school never allowed him to. It gave him the chance to dream, to contemplate the important questions, like: what was the purpose in life? What did he want to achieve? And why did some people pour milk in the bowl before the cereal?

Yoongi had breakfast in the living room, something he was forbidden from doing, so he could watch morning TV. He didn’t know why he did it, there was never anything interesting on in the morning – it was universal knowledge. He realised when staring blankly into the last dregs of milk that he was searching despairingly for a source of noise to distract him from the hopeless thoughts of Hoseok that were churning something sour in his head. He really was pathetic.

He switched off the TV and made his way to the kitchen humming a melody that he had composed in his head, he wasn’t sure if it was pleasing to the ear so he silenced himself as he washed up. Yoongi left the kitchen and climbed the stairs, back to his room again. His phone lay on his desk and buzzed. He had received a message. From Hoseok.

Jung Hoseok: morning :) Jung Hoseok: im bored Jung Hoseok: are u free now? Jung Hoseok: i can come over

It was a sudden change of attitude that Yoongi hadn’t prepared himself to adapt too.

Min Yoongi: Morning Min Yoongi: it’s raining Min Yoongi: I don’t mind, but do you want to wait until it stops?

Jung Hoseok: im surprised ure not out in it, u love the rain dont u?? Jung Hoseok: yh but im getting the bus so it doesn’t matter Jung Hoseok: should i leave now then?

Min Yoongi: I like watching it, not being out in it Min Yoongi: I’ll get cold Min Yoongi: Yeah, okay then Min Yoongi: I’ll see you soon (Seen)

It was strange, Yoongi thought. Hoseok had seen his texts and not replied, not trying to have the last word or to drop a pick-up line of: ‘I’ll warm you up’. It reinforced the fact that something was wrong, something had changed and Yoongi didn’t know what. It was incredibly frustrating and increasingly taxing not to turn the whole situation to blame himself, wasn’t it obvious by now that Yoongi’s advances were making Hoseok uncomfortable? No matter how much he had tried to control himself, he had failed.

Yoongi tried not to dwell on those thoughts, instead focussing on getting ready. His hair was still slightly damp but he was sure that it would be dry by the time that Hoseok arrived. He opened his wardrobe and was thoroughly unimpressed by what he was greeted by. His eyes trailed over the red shirt that he had shoved at the back, it was bound to be creased and although it had been washed he knew there would be a phantom smell of Jinsoo attached to the material.

He decided on jeans, dark blue instead of black so Hoseok would know that he didn’t possess only one outfit. He pulled on a plain white shirt as it paired well with his jeans, it was made to appear a size too big and it hung low on his legs. It was cold outside, he could feel the draft through the glass of his window, so he shrugged a hoodie over his head. He contemplated on spraying on some cologne but realised that his bottle had run dry, the idea was less likeable when he registered that he would have to borrow his brother’s.

The doorbell rang quicker than anticipated and he felt like his legs had turned into rusting metal when he forced his knees to bend in order to climb down the stairs. Eventually he reached the hallway with a pounding heart and an overwhelming sense of trepidation pouring through his veins. His lips were dry and he licked them nervously before unlocking the door and unlocking it.

The first thing Yoongi heard was the sound of the rain pattering onto the pavement and cars driving past which splashed through puddles. Hoseok was standing before him, similar to how he was last week, except his smile was restrained. His eyes latched onto Yoongi’s and Yoongi couldn’t look away, the feelings of lust and devotion – the same feelings he had tried so hard to douse – re-kindled inside of him and a shaky breath was expelled into the air. He could feel it already, Hoseok’s warmth on him, in him, possessing his entire body – he wanted it more than anything, he wanted, no, needed Hoseok.

“Hey,” Hoseok greeted, his voice quiet, yet, warm. It stole Yoongi away from his fantasies, jolting him back into the present where a damp Hoseok lingered hastily at his doorstep. He hurriedly stepped aside and allowed Hoseok to enter the house.

Hoseok unnecessarily thanked him, bending down to remove his shoes while Yoongi shut the door, trapping him, leaving him with no exit. He was suffocating, being so close to Hoseok yet unable to talk to him, to touch him, in fear of provoking rejection. Yoongi hated being so unsure of himself, so unsure of how Hoseok was feeling.

“So,” Hoseok straightened up, treating Yoongi to a fairly natural smile, one that Yoongi had craved to see, to feel against his mouth. “How are you?”

It was painful to hold back a disgruntled expression. Hoseok was talking like they were two strangers who were trying to become acquainted, not two lovers trying to find even footing. “Fine. Tired. I woke up too early. You?” He wished he could just ask Hoseok what was wrong, but the paranoid fear inside of him held him back from doing so.

“Same here,” Hoseok replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. Yoongi tried extremely hard not to watch his movements but it was impossible. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Yoongi hummed, swallowing painfully when he pictured Hoseok’s hands kissing his body with their touch, tracing the sensitive skin of his thighs before- “Want to go upstairs?” He didn’t mean it in the way that it probably sounded, he just wanted to find some space away from Hoseok in this cramped hallway.

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” Hoseok was trying his best to look convincing but Yoongi saw raw panic flicker in Hoseok’s irises. What was going on?”

Instead of asking like a rational human being, Yoongi merely nodded, feeling numb, and jumped to a conclusion that had been rattling around in his skull. He led Hoseok up the stairs with legs that were on the verge of buckling. Hoseok didn’t want to be alone with Yoongi in the privacy of Yoongi’s bedroom, it was the only thought that occupied Yoongi’s mind and he couldn’t dismiss it. It invaded every corner and crevice, leaving no room for doubt.

He had entered his bedroom without processing it, he vaguely heard Hoseok shut the door behind him and watched blankly as Hoseok made a beeline for his chair, using his legs to propel it away from the bed. Legs that were muscular from dance practice, legs that would be taunt and contoured under his touch, pinning him down.

Yoongi grasped at the sleeve of his hoodie as he sat down on his bed, the mattress squeaked at the sudden pressure, knotting the material around his thumb as tightly as it would go to distract him from his lewd, invasive thoughts.

“Did you watch that show I told you about? The eating challenge one?” Hoseok asked, his voice was muted. The rain banging against the window was louder. Yoongi was growing weary of this game, he was growing anxious as to why Hoseok hadn’t touched him yet. He couldn’t silence the realisation of, it’s because he doesn’t want to.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice a monotone. “It was pretty good.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok agreed with little to no enthusiasm. It was incredibly disheartening to hear Hoseok talk without passion in his voice. “Shame it’s only on once a week.”

“Mm,” Yoongi hummed. “Shame.”

Silence. The only silence that Yoongi despised with every fibre of his being was the one in which there were so many unspoken words, so many feelings that couldn’t be uncovered because both parties refused to give in. He couldn’t deal with it, not with this restless energy rampaging inside of him. It wanted Hoseok to wrap his arms around him, to de-clothe him and make him feel a pleasure that nothing on earth or heaven could hope to replace.

“Why can’t you look at me?” Yoongi caved in, his voice fuelled with frustration – but not anger, it was the frustration brewed by the fact that Hoseok was sitting in front of him and wasn’t making moves to touch him, to kiss him, to unleash the repressed passion inside of him. “You’ve been acting weird ever since yesterday. Did I do something wrong?”

Hoseok shook his head, his eyes finally meeting Yoongi’s. His hands tightened on the arms of the chair, his veins were conspicuous, and alluring. Yoongi had noticed it before but had never really focussed on the strength that Hoseok carried, it wasn’t terrifying like Jinsoo’s because Yoongi knew that Hoseok would never use it against him, he would use it for him – grasping hold of Yoongi’s legs with strong fingers, teasing and fondling the sensitive skin of his inner thighs; he would let Yoongi trail his mouth down the muscle of his stomach, feeling it twitch under him, coming to life at his touch.

“No, no! You didn’t do anything!” Hoseok insisted, seemingly attached to the chair. He ran a hand through his hair, Yoongi’s eyes followed his movements hungrily. He felt any saliva in his mouth slide down his throat as he latched onto the visible muscle of Hoseok’s arm through his shirt. Hoseok sighed in defeat, apparently blind to Yoongi’s visible lust. “I’m sorry about yesterday – I was trying to... I don’t know.”

Yoongi diverted his attention to Hoseok’s words. Hoseok had admitted to acting strange on Friday, apologised for it. “What is this about? You can tell me.” There was another silence, the rain was still loud and poignant, drumming against the glass in a relaxing pattern. Yoongi didn’t much hear it, he was too focussed on what was about to spill from Hoseok’s lips.

“I...” Hoseok looked completely grief-stricken, his voice dripping with shame. He couldn’t meet Yoongi’s eyes. “I was trying to distance myself from you.” Yoongi felt his eyes widen and the breath be knocked out of him, it was like the rain from outside had flooded his lungs. His worst fears were true; Hoseok didn’t want to be anywhere near him. “I was trying to avoid you because I couldn’t handle it.” Yoongi’s stomach hurled itself against his ribcage in protest, he didn’t want to hear anymore, he didn’t know what would become of him if Hoseok admitted his repulsion of Yoongi out loud.

Hoseok looked up into his eyes, catching him off guard. The wild storm of thoughts in his head quelled somewhat. “I don’t know exactly what happened with you and Jinsoo but I don’t want it to happen again – Yoongi, Yoongs, if you don’t want anything to happen between us yet, you can say no. I’m not expecting anything from you if you’re not ready after what happened. I – I understand.” It sounded like it caused Hoseok extreme pain to talk, Yoongi detected a tinge of anger bleeding into his tone when he mentioned Jinsoo’s name.

Nothing was clicking together in his mind and he struggled to find a correlation. “What are you saying?” He was desperate for an answer.

Hoseok’s brow fastened together like an uncomfortably tight seatbelt, his eyes were fixed on Yoongi and Yoongi's on him. It was like nothing else existed apart from each other. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be intimate with me because that’s what most relationships consist of. I want you to be comfortable with me.”

The words ricocheted through the air and pierced through Yoongi’s heart. Any breath left in his lungs was wrenched out of him and he was left winded. Hoseok had not wanted to touch him in fear of hurting Yoongi, he didn’t want Yoongi to be reminded of Jinsoo. It was such an unexpected thing to hear but such a loving and considerate thing for Hoseok to dwell upon. Pieces of the puzzle started to click together in Yoongi’s mind as he applied Hoseok’s reasoning to the events that had happened yesterday.

“I am comfortable with you.” The words poured out of his mouth, scrambling to comfort Hoseok who looked far too worried at what Yoongi’s response would be. “I’d never thought that a relationship could be so natural. I can say anything around you, any joke or thought, and you’ll join in. I feel like you know me inside and out, like we’ve known each other longer than we have, which is why I trust you.” Something else was about to jump out of Yoongi’s mouth, but he retrieved it and shoved it to the back of his throat.

He pulled his gaze away from Hoseok’s softening face, focussing on the material wrapped around his thumb. “I thought that you didn’t want to touch me.” His voice was muted, yet, it projected itself over the sound of the distant rainfall.

Yoongi lifted his gaze to find Hoseok running his hands over his face, strands of his hair being pushed back. “Oh, god, Yoongs. I’m so sorry. I’ve really fucked this up.” Yoongi was about to disagree, about to admit that he should have talked to Hoseok beforehand about his feelings, before Hoseok dropped his hands in his lap and bit his lip, almost nervously, before saying:

“I want to touch you.” Yoongi’s heartbeat accelerated at an unsteady rate, and he felt himself twitch at Hoseok’s words, his voice wrapping around him and drenching him in the finest silks. “I’ve wanted you ever since you told me you liked me back. Our phone call wasn’t enough, I was trying so hard to hold back that I was grossing myself out. I kept thinking about Jinsoo and how far he had gone with you, and then – I don’t know, I linked myself with him because I thought I was pushing myself onto you too quickly. So, I tried to hold back, but it just got more difficult. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, I would never – I always – Yoongs, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he breathed, he forgave Hoseok on a reflex because it was intrinsic within Hoseok to always want to do the right thing, so Yoongi trusted him completely. Yoongi’s heart felt warm inside his chest, he was so touched – Hoseok had been worried about hurting him, he was always thinking about Yoongi. Yoongi knew that Hoseok was protective, having seen the way that Hoseok had stuck up for him and berated Jimin yesterday, but he hadn’t considered that Hoseok would be thinking about all aspects of what may or may not hurt him.

Yoongi realised then that he held no fear, he was no longer insecure about the possibility of Hoseok losing interest in him. He had seen with his own eyes and felt with his own heart that Hoseok cared too much about him to suddenly break from him, and he felt exactly the same.

There was no hesitation left, Yoongi shoved all thoughts from his mind and savoured the moment. There was only him and Hoseok now, what he had subconsciously wanted since he had laid eyes on the boy’s signature easy-going grin. He felt the cool flooring beneath his feet as he rose from the bed, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. He saw the way that Hoseok’s nostrils flared, and his eyes slid over Yoongi’s form before lingering on his lips and then resting back on Yoongi’s eyes.

“I want you to touch me,” he said, his words seemed to make the noise of the rain halt. He noticed that the swell of Hoseok’s chest had increased. He took a step towards the chair, the blood simmering in his veins and making every nerve stand on end. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Something flashed in Hoseok’s eyes, Yoongi picked it out and addressed it. “You’re scared, aren’t you?” He stopped a few steps away from the chair Hoseok was perched on. Hoseok was watching his every movement, every jump of his throat and every flicker of his fingers. “You’re scared you’re like Jinsoo.” A tiny nod of Hoseok’s head was all he needed.

Yoongi closed the distance, Hoseok stayed still, paralysed, his eyelids growing heavy. “You shouldn’t be. When he touched me, he only did it for his benefit. When you touch me...” He leant in, slanted over Hoseok so that Hoseok had to tilt his head backwards to follow his movements.

“When you touch me, you do it for me, you want me to feel good – and I do. I don’t want you to stop, ‘Seok.” He was whispering now, sinful little secrets slipping from his tongue and seeping into Hoseok’s ear. Hoseok’s knees twitched against his legs. “You’re so caring, kind, everything I want,” his voice was honey, his mouth stroked against Hoseok’s ear, “I touched myself yesterday. I was thinking of you, of all the things I want you to do to me.”

Hoseok turned to him, his eyes glazed and heavy-lidded. “Are you sure you want this?” His voice was husky, deep. It pulsated through Yoongi, amplifying his yearning.

“I do,” Yoongi confirmed, losing himself in Hoseok’s eyes, they pulled him in and swallowed him whole. He wished that Hoseok would do the same, he longed for Hoseok to devour him.

Hoseok reached to him, pulling him down onto his lap. The chair groaned under their combined weight, but Yoongi’s moans were louder. Hoseok’s mouth was the purest water in the desert that was Yoongi’s life without Hoseok’s kisses. He felt himself go limp as Hoseok’s tongue wrapped around his, their warmth entangling together and pulsing through Yoongi. Hoseok rose from the chair, their lips still melded together, and Yoongi felt strong arms ensnaring his waist, his legs wrapping around Hoseok’s back, and then a mattress underneath him.

He didn’t have parents, he didn’t have friends, he didn’t have anything except his senses that Hoseok was claiming as his own. Yoongi belonged to Hoseok, that was the only explanation, how else would Hoseok know where to kiss his neck, sucking at his sensitive skin until a flood of warmth boiled in his neck? Hoseok must have created Yoongi to respond only to him, and Yoongi surrendered himself completely.

“You’re so beautiful,” Hoseok’s voice was lost in Yoongi’s mouth but found itself in Yoongi’s ears. “Tell me, what do you want?” He was back down to Yoongi’s neck, pushing down his hoodie to lick at the delicate flesh of his collar bone. Yoongi heard himself moan, a moan which belonged to Hoseok. He knew what he wanted.

“Undress me,” Yoongi keened into Hoseok’s hair, inhaling all that was Hoseok. It made his heart shudder. “Do what you want to me. I’m yours.”

“You’re mine,” Hoseok repeated, moaning into the heat of Yoongi’s mouth, his eyes sparkling as he gazed down onto Yoongi. Hoseok’s hand traced Yoongi’s face, his thumb caressing the plush of Yoongi’s lips.

It only occurred to Yoongi when Hoseok obeyed him, kissing him through the fabric of his hoodie when Hoseok struggled to pull it over the top of Yoongi’ head, that perhaps Hoseok had been made for him, not just him made for Hoseok. It was the type of epiphany which made his skin crawl with an untamed fire, only dousing when Hoseok ran his fingers over him, taking in every inch of flesh that was sculpted for Hoseok.

Hoseok, true to his unspoken word, obliged by Yoongi’s command. Yoongi let himself be undressed by Hoseok’s careful fingers and worshipping words, it were as if Hoseok considered Yoongi to be a precious china doll, made of porcelain and the finest gold and silver. As Hoseok gazed down on his undressed body, adorning only what he felt towards Hoseok and what Hoseok was doing to him, wearing an expression of reserved splendour, – in awe of what he saw – did he know that Hoseok saw him as such, a precious china doll never to be dropped, never to be shattered. And in that moment, Yoongi knew that Hoseok would never, ever, drop him, leaving him to ruin.

[newstfionline]

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Biden adjusting agenda to reflect narrow divide in Congress (AP) President-elect Joe Biden is adjusting the scope of his agenda to meet the challenges of governing with a narrowly divided Congress and the complications of legislating during a raging pandemic. Rather than immediately pursue ambitious legislation to combat climate change, the incoming administration may try to wrap provisions into a coronavirus aid bill. Biden’s team is also considering smaller-scale changes to the Affordable Care Act while tabling the more contentious fight over creating a public option to compete with private insurers. The maneuvering reflects a disappointing political reality for Biden, who campaigned on a pledge to address the nation’s problems with measures that would rival the scope of Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s New Deal legislation. But Democrats acknowledge that big legislative accomplishments are unlikely, even in the best-case scenario in which the party gains a slim majority in the Senate.

California Will Impose Its Strongest Virus Measures Since the Spring (NYT) California, the first state to impose far-reaching lockdowns because of the coronavirus, announced on Thursday its strictest new measures since the earliest days of the pandemic in an effort to keep a surge in cases from overwhelming hospitals. Gov. Gavin Newsom said the new round of regional stay-at-home orders would take effect as intensive-care beds filled up. Millions of people across Southern and Central California are likely to see outdoor dining shuttered, playgrounds roped off and hair salons closed within days if the available intensive-care capacity in their areas dips below a 15 percent threshold. The new restrictions will last for at least three weeks, strictly limit store capacity and allow restaurants to serve only takeout or delivery. The governor also said people should temporarily call off all nonessential travel.

Americans are largely skeptical of the news media, but say there is room for confidence to improve (Pew Research Center) In general, Americans tend to express more negative than positive views about the news media and feel that that it is beneficial for society to approach the media with some level of skepticism. But the public does not view the media as a lost cause: A vast majority of U.S. adults say it is possible to increase their level of confidence in the institution. Respondents were asked to evaluate news organizations overall across five different dimensions. One dimension that particularly stands out is that many think news organizations lack empathy toward those they cover, with 53% saying news organizations do not care about the people they report on, 30 percentage points higher than the portion who says news outlets do care (23%). Roughly two-thirds of Americans (63%) think that, ideally, it is better for society if the public is skeptical of the news media. This is far higher than the portion who say it is better if the public is trusting of the news media (36%).

In a holiday season unlike any other, avoid unfounded claims about suicide (Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania) The holiday season usually has the lowest monthly suicide rates. And while the COVID-19 pandemic has increased risk factors associated with suicide, the media and the public should be careful this holiday season not to make unfounded claims about suicide trends. Last year, during the holidays and before the pandemic, about half of the newspaper stories that connected the holidays and suicide contained misinformation falsely perpetuating the myth that suicide increases over the holidays, according to a new analysis by the Annenberg Public Policy Center (APPC) of the University of Pennsylvania. Though the pandemic has increased factors associated with suicide such as unemployment, financial stress, and social isolation, there is no clear evidence to date that it has increased the suicide rate, so caution is needed when reporting on this, as noted recently in The Lancet Psychiatry. In addition, a study found that suicide rates did not increase during the Massachusetts lockdown in March, April, and May, while a BMJ editorial reviewing national suicide trends during the early months of the pandemic found either no rise or a fall in suicide rates in high-income countries, including the United States. For decades, the holiday season has had some of the lowest suicide rates, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Abandoned oil wells (Grist) As the finances make large numbers of individual oil wells fiscally untenable and threaten the balance sheets of the companies that now maintain them, an ongoing crisis of abandoned oil and gas wells is poised to get a lot worse. In Oklahoma, the agency that regulates the oil and gas business has a list of 12,000 “orphaned” wells, or holes in the ground that have been abandoned by an owner who may very well not exist, or no longer possess the money to plug it. Last year, the state plugged a mere 138 abandoned wells, so it’s going badly. Across the country there were 50,000 wells on cleanup lists in 2018, and the true estimated figure for abandoned wells is between 200,000 and 750,000. Including idle wells, the count is about 2.1 million.

Mexicans asked to curb Christmas plans to control pandemic (Reuters) Mexicans should cancel year-end travel plans, curb their movement and even avoid exchanging Christmas presents amid rising coronavirus case numbers in the country, the president said on Friday. President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador also announced increasing capacity for more hospital beds as well as extra medical equipment and staff to help in the fight to curb the pandemic. The leftist president, outlining a 9-point plan, said the suggested steps to limit the spread of the virus were especially important for residents of metro Mexico City, the densely-packed capital with a population of over 20 million. Lopez Obrador said there would be no mandatory lockdowns and that he encourages people to act responsibly. But he warned that traditional festive gatherings known as posadas, where friends and family typically gather in a single house, should not take place this year. He also advised there should be no New Year’s Eve parties and even suggested Mexicans do not give Christmas presents this year, saving them for another time.

Venezuela Votes as Opposition Boycotts Election (Foreign Policy) Venezuelans go to the polls on Sunday in a National Assembly election that is likely to extinguish the country’s opposition following months of electoral maneuvers by the government. In 2015, the last time such elections were held, opposition parties won in a landslide victory. The win paved the way for the ill-fated Assembly President Juan Guaidó to attempt to take power by declaring himself the rightful leader of the country. More than 50 countries followed in recognizing Guaidó’s claim in 2019. Five years later, due to a decision to boycott the vote, neither Guaidó nor traditional opposition politicians are on the ballot this time around. Over the summer, Venezuela’s Supreme Court handed over the leadership of the country’s main opposition parties to government loyalists, and those party names will still appear on the ballot on Sunday. A new assembly dilutes Guaidó’s claim to control in Venezuela as he’ll no longer be the most recent president of the assembly. Turnout in the sanctions-ravaged country is expected to be low despite government attempts to entice voters to the polls, including a promise of “special prizes” to the communities with the highest rates of turnout.

‘Field of Broken Dreams’: London’s Growing Taxi Graveyards (NYT) EPPING, England—Drive through a leaf-strewn forest and past a charming street market in this town about 20 miles northeast of London, and a jarring sight appears: black London taxis, parked bumper-to-bumper by the hundreds in a muddy field, surrounded by beehives and a barn for raising squab pigeons. It’s a monument to the economic devastation wrought by the pandemic. The cabs were returned by their drivers to a rental company because of the collapse in business after Britain went into lockdown last March. As the number of idled taxis piled up, the company ran out of room in its garage and cut a deal with a local farmer to store about 200 of them alongside his bees and pigeons. “I call it the field of broken dreams,” said Steve McNamara, general secretary of the Licensed Taxi Drivers’ Association, which represents about half of the British capital’s more than 21,500 licensed cabbies. “It’s awful, and it’s getting worse.” It’s anyone’s guess when central London’s deserted streets will once again fill with office workers, theatergoers and tourists. As of now, barely a fifth of London’s taxis are currently operating, Mr. McNamara said, and the drivers still on the road are averaging just a quarter of their pre-pandemic fares. The city estimates that 3,500 taxis have left the streets since June. They are stashed in parking lots, warehouses, garages and fields all around the capital.

India’s winter of discontent: Farmers rise up against Modi (AP) A chilly breeze whirls through New Delhi in the mornings and the sun is partly obscured by toxic haze, a marker of another winter in the Indian capital. But along the city’s borders, this year is visibly and viscerally different. The perpetually busy arterial highways that connect most northern Indian towns to this city of 29 million people now pulse to the cries of “Inquilab Zindabad”—“Long live the revolution.” Tens and thousands of farmers with distinctive, colorful turbans and long, flowing beards have descended upon the city’s borders, choking highways in giant demonstrations against new farming laws that they say will open them to corporate exploitation. For more than a week, they’ve marched toward the capital on their tractors and trucks like an army, pushing aside concrete police barricades while braving tear gas, batons and water cannons. Now, on the outskirts of New Delhi, they are hunkered down with food and fuel supplies that can last weeks and threatening to besiege the capital if Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s government doesn’t meet their demands to abolish the laws. Many of the protesting farmers hail from northern Punjab and Haryana, two of the largest agricultural states in India. An overwhelming majority of them are Sikhs. They fear the laws passed in September will lead the government to stop buying grain at minimum guaranteed prices and result in exploitation by corporations who will push down prices. Many activists and farming experts support their demand for a minimum guaranteed price for their crops.

Bangladesh ships Rohingya refugees to remote island despite outcry (Reuters) Bangladesh naval vessels carried some 1,600 Rohingya refugees towards a remote island in the Bay of Bengal on Friday despite complaints by refugees and humanitarian groups that some were being coerced. Bangladesh says it is only moving refugees who are willing to go to Bhasan Char and it will ease chronic overcrowding in camps that are home to more than 1 million Rohingya, members of a Muslim minority who have fled neighbouring Myanmar. But refugees and humanitarian workers say some of the Rohingya had been coerced into going to Bhashan Char a flood-prone island that emerged from the sea 20 years ago. Bangladesh has built more than a thousand cinderblock housing units on Bhasan for the Rohingya refugees. More than 300 refugees were brought to the island earlier this year after several months at sea in an attempt to flee Bangladesh. Rights groups say they are being held against their will and have complained of human rights violations.

Rains in western Indonesia leave 2 dead, 2,700 homes flooded (AP) Torrential rains in Indonesia’s third largest city caused four rivers to overflow, flooding thousands of homes and killing at least two people, officials said Friday. The local disaster mitigation agency said rescuers were searching for six missing people, including a toddler, after the heavy rains in Medan, the capital of North Sumatra province. At least two people were found dead after being swept away by the floods, which began Thursday evening, the agency said in a statement. More than 2,700 houses were flooded in the city, which has about 2.9 million people, forcing authorities to cut off electricity and water supplies, it said. Floods and landslides are common in Indonesia during the rainy season. Severe flooding and landslides that hit greater Jakarta early this year killed more than 60 people, displaced hundreds of thousands and forced an airport to close.

Egyptians released (Foreign Policy) Egyptian authorities have released three employees of the Egyptian Initiative for Personal Rights, one of the few independent human rights organizations still operating in the country. The trio’s arrests garnered worldwide attention in November, with Antony Blinken, the nominee for U.S. secretary of state, sharing his concern on Twitter. The move comes as two Washington-based groups, the Center for International Policy and the Project on Middle East Democracy, called on Biden to impose strict human rights conditions on the $1.3 billion in annual U.S. security assistance to Egypt.

Jupiter and Saturn will come close enough to form first ‘double planet’ visible in nearly 800 years (Washington Post) In the complex dance of the cosmos, two celestial bodies are about to partner up. Jupiter and Saturn often look far apart—two separate specks puncturing different parts of the night sky. But later this month, the two largest planets in the solar system will come so close to each other that they may appear to be overlapping, according to NASA, creating a kind of “double planet” that has not been visible since the Middle Ages. The once-in-a-lifetime sight is the product of an astronomical event known as a “conjunction,” in which two objects line up with each other in the sky. When it involves Jupiter and Saturn catching up to each other, it’s sometimes called a “great conjunction.” “You can actually see it with your own eye. It doesn’t have to be measured with sophisticated instruments,” Michael Brown, an astronomer at Monash University in Australia, told The Washington Post. “The two objects are appearing very close in the sky, but ultimately they’re very far away from each other.” While Jupiter and Saturn will be separated on Dec. 21 by 0.1 degrees, or less than a third of the moon’s width, the two planets will nonetheless remain separated by about 450 million miles in space, he said. The last time Saturn and Jupiter were close enough to create a “double planet” seen from Earth was in March 1226, Brown said.

Adolf Hitler Uunona wins election in Namibia, says he isn’t seeking ‘world domination’ (Washington Post) A man named Adolf Hitler Uunona has won a local election in Namibia with 85 percent of the vote, becoming a councilor in the Ompundja Constituency. According to the Electoral Commission of Namibia, Uunona claimed a seat for the South West Africa People’s Organization, also known as the SWAPO party, after racking up 1,196 votes last month. Uunona has no connection to his unusual namesake—but does have a sense of humor about the situation. He is not “striving for world domination” and does not have plans to “conquer” the Oshana region, he told German newspaper Bild. In his interview with Bild, Uunona said that his father had named him after the Nazi dictator but “probably didn’t understand what Adolf Hitler stood for.” His wife, he said, calls him Adolf. The southwestern African country is a former German colony, and a number of streets and places still have German names.

[a1930921004]

Writing Assignment: Division & Classification (Summaries & Examples)

- DIVISION ESSAY

     Summary

     Division essay is an essay that is written for the purposes of discussing a more general or broad topic by dividing them into sub-group or sub-division, hence the name Division Essay. Usually, this essay tries to analyze functions and how the sub-group relates to each other and how it form the main or general subject of the topic. There are three elements in a division essay; The system, principle of analysis, and sub-system.

     Bellow is the example of a Division Essay. The topic in the essay is about stages of desperation in people. The essay will try to divide it into 5 division or sub-system which will tell relationship between each other and in the end tell how the sub-systems form the topic subject.

---------------------------------EXAMPLE OF DIVISION ESSAY------------------------------

                                             5 Stages of Despair

          Despair is a situation which every human can experience. People are born with the ability to think and feel. Often we find someone who experience the moment of despair. This despairing moment is somewhat problematic, because sometimes, people don’t ever realize that they are actually in despair until it’s to late. The solution is to know more about this agonizing situation so that the one who suffers from it can do something about it. That is why there is a concept in the field of philosophy and psychology which is called 5 stages of despair which tries to divide into more identifiable sub-type so that we can easily understand it.

          Confusion is usually the first stage -but not always the case- into despair. In this stage, people will be in a confused state when dealing a problem. The cause is mostly their lack of preparation, more often their mental state are not ready for the problem presented to them. If it’s the first-time for them to face the problem, the chance of getting caught in this stage is higher. When people can’t get out from this stage, they will fall into the next stage, caused directly by this stage.

          Frustration comes after the confusion. In this stage, people who can’t handle the confusion caused by the problem will be frustrated because they can’t find the solution to the problem. In this stage, emotions are mostly concentrated in every negative ways. Mostly, this stage affect people mentally and physically, not so seldom people and their surrounding will directly or indirectly affected. Frustration at the highest level will lead into the next stage which is, subjectively, more despairing, Depression.

          Depression is the third stage by order (for convenience sake) in the 5 stages of despair and can be said as the climax. This stage is the most difficult stage to get out of from. The confusion and the frustration that are left unchecked will drag people who are facing a problem into the state of depression. This state will indicate the exhaustion of mind and spirit, as it will be very hard to ‘uplift’ oneself without clear answer to the problem. The exhaustion will finally lead to next stage, the one where some people are the scariest stage of all.

          Stagnation, as in stagnate meaning ceasing from any development or becoming inactive or dull. The word stagnation refers to the very life of the human who face a problem themselves. Lot of reports says that people who experience this stage are incapable of feeling anymore. In some rare cases, even their physical body is affected thus making them literally unable of feeling anything. At the end of the stage, there are only 2 things that can happen; Whether they choose to not prolong their suffering by picking the “easy option’ which some people considers it as running away. Or they move the next stage by some false hope or any kind of fake promises.

          Deception is stage where people who suffers a problem, having experienced all the 4 stages above, are given a superficial way of believing that everything is okay when in fact it isn’t. As the name of the stage suggested, people are in the stage of deception and lies thinking that there might be a solution to their problem, WITHOUT any solid prove that they will actually get out of despair. Sometimes, some people choose deliberately to be deceived in some form of fake love for themselves. At the end of this final stage, people usually loop back into one of the 4 situation before this until eventually they return to this stage and the circle form itself again and again.

          Knowing all the stages can help people to identify in which stage they are in so that they can act accordingly. Like it was mentioned before, Confusion might not be the stage people encounter first. They can feel frustration or even depression first, depending on the intensity of the problem faced. By learning each stage of the situation one can prepare themselves and try to get to 6th stage, which is called Acceptance stage. This 6th stage is the true solution of the situation as it stands outside of the circle of 5 stages of desperation. Only few people can achieve this stage, while many are often stuck in the 5 stages of despair. 

------------------------------END OF DIVISION ESSAY EXAMPLE--------------------------

- CLASSIFICATION ESSAY 

     Summary

     Just like Division Essay, Classification Essay also tries to discuss topic by making classification of a broader topic. The classification essay organizes supporting details into three or more groups with each group having its own identifying characteristics. For this reason, classification essays rely heavily on description and example as supporting details or evidence, description providing the means for identifying distinguishing characteristics and examples illustrating the members of each class. 

     Bellow is the example of a Classification Essay. The topic in the essay is about ranges of depression in psychology. The essay will try to classify it into 3 classes. Each class will be described by its own characteristic and it will give examples which will illustrate for the sake of details

------------------------EXAMPLE OF CLASSIFICATION ESSAY----------------------------

.                                         Three “M” of Depression

          Depression is big subject of study in the field of psychology when it involves human being. Very often people encounter some examples whether directly or indirectly in the seemingly peaceful daily lives. WHO, in their website, says that close to eight hundred thousand people die to suicide every year in which the main cause is depression. It means that even right now among and around us, there might be people who suffers from it and we just don’t notice it because we don’t know the severity of it. To help people aware of it, depression can be classified into 3 classes with its own identifiable characteristic and those 3 classes are Mild, Moderate, and Major.

            Mild depression is the first class of depression where some symptoms are not seemingly showing or apparent. In this class, depression involves more than just feeling a little bit blue in a temporary manner. The state can go on for days without the people who suffers it realizing it. People will feel or exude some negative emotions which are considered small, so they themselves will sometimes ignore it. One example would be a feeling of irritability or anger that always come so sudden and hard to dismiss. Feeling hopelessness and despair would be another example, while in practice they will lose interest in doing anything. Psychical symptoms that are showing usually lose or gains of weight suddenly caused by lost of appetite or excessive hunger, body aches with no apparent reason and fatigue. Mild depression appear in most of people and always been mistreated poorly that it lead the sufferer into the second class of depression.

            Moderate depression shows more intense symptoms than the typical mild depression. The smaller emotions such as hopelessness, irritability and lack of interest that shows in mild depression accumulate forming a bigger non-physical problem such as low self-esteem. This will turn into high sense of worthlessness in oneself because the increased sensitivity makes them worry excessively. The physical toll will be even bigger than the previous class. It’s been reported before that people who suffer from this class are also suffering inability to reproduce. Some have high level of incurable insomnia. Few were even suffer from loss of function of body organs caused by intense stress, such as blindness or numbness. In this class, people really need a medical and professional help because when not treated, they will fall to the last M of the depression.

          Major, as the name suggested, is the biggest class of depression by intensity or severity. The urgency is shown by the increasing danger of the cause and symptoms this class shows. In this class, people will have an episode of delusion or hallucination in the most worrying manner. They will the sense of oneself and even lose all sense to recognize the world as it should be. Psychically, people who suffers major depression often lose consciousness because of the great fatigue their body have to endure. The worst-case scenario is that the people in this class will have suicidal behavior and thoughts. Unfortunately, some of them were even known to have ended their lives because they couldn’t handle the pressures. This is the last and the most dangerous class of depression.

          People need to be more aware of this classification of depression. It’s not just the government's duty to care about the mental health of their citizen. Human are social beings as they can not live by themselves. That is why we as people need to be responsible as to not let people fall into the hole of depression. We should do as much as we can to help people around us by being there with them when they needed help. Who knows we even might save one life from ending meaninglessly. Ultimately, we might even save ourselves.

-----------------------END OF EXAMPLE OF CLASSIFICATION ESSAY----------------                                  

[aguidetointerculturaldating]

How to: Exchange Gifts

By Karolina Janas

(photo credits: https://pixabay.com/photos/bouquet-flowers-gift-gesture-1246848/)

Who doesn’t like receiving gifts? It’s one of those sweet gestures we do to express love, appreciation, and attentiveness. In intercultural dating, it’s important to think about how this routine can vary in different cultures, and consider the impact it may have on your relationship. So, I would like to introduce to you the routine of gift-giving and gift-receiving as something that could be influenced by the values of your, and your partner’s culture. This exciting concept could be illustrated by the following scenario:

I am Polish, and my boyfriend is British. One time, he wanted to buy me a necklace from an antique shop, which I really liked. When he offered to do it, I resisted his offer multiple times, to express my appreciation. He, however, interpreted this as a sign that I didn’t like the necklace all that much. Luckily, he decided to question me about it and, in the end, I explained that I really loved the gift, but this was just what I saw as the polite way of reacting in this situation.

And, I know, you might be thinking that I am overcomplicating things way too much. A lot of people may feel uncomfortable when they are offered a gift - after all, this doesn’t happen to us every day (or if it does, lucky you!). But, researchers such as Anna Wierzbicka (who’s also Polish) would suggest that my reaction was influenced by the cultural values, norms, and expectations that I learnt during my time in Poland. In her work, Wierzbicka talks about how Polish people assume that refusing an offering is a sign of polite behaviour, as it shows modesty and appreciation. But, with that, they also expect the offeror to be insistent – to reassure them that they really, really want to give them the gift. Clearly, my boyfriend wasn’t aware of that little ritual, because he interpreted my refusal as more of a no than what (in Polish terms) would be an evident yes.

This is because of one, simple reason: the culture that he grew up in taught him differently. In England, you are usually expected to accept someone’s refusal - not doing it could seem pushy. This is not at all the case in Polish culture – insisting is just expected, and it wouldn’t be seen as impolite. Researchers Kendall, Lin and Perkins noticed in their study that this is also true in Chinese culture, which doesn’t favour accepting gifts right away, either. Adding to that, another researcher, Mei, believes that even the kinds of gifts which are preferred can vary between cultures. They suggest that in China, people like to express their appreciation with very expensive gifts, whereas in Germany, they are more focused on the intent behind the gift, so, for-example, self-made gifts are seen as more meaningful.

The goal of this post is to highlight that cultural values can shape even such mundane routines as exchanging gifts. It’s important to keep this in mind, not only to avoid miscommunication (I almost missed out on that beautiful necklace!), but to also become better at noticing when a behaviour is rooted in one’s personality, and when it is culture that is at play. The two can naturally overlap, but just acknowledging that there is potential for culture to have an impact helps you develop a certain type of intercultural sensitivity and competence. You can then see a mismatch in opinion as not simply some negative thing that can lead to conflict, but rather as an opportunity to be proactive, and collaborate with your partner on reaching a conclusion that fits you both. Being inquisitive and asking them questions will demonstrate that you want to learn about them and their culture, and build a relationship which accepts and accommodates for all the little differences you may have.