#so even if i have a lot saved rn whoever else i pull for after raligon has a bad chance of eating up my linkstones
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cynical-cemeteries · 4 months ago
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on that same note of rozelic and icateztol. WHYYY is CG giving them a rerun before raligon is supposed to be coming out i can't pull for all of you guys and NOT spend all my linkstones 😭😭😭
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pyromore · 2 years ago
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microdosing on upheaving my life by destroying all my current genshin builds to center my entire account around scara
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peachyfnaf · 4 months ago
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gamers its like 11 in the morning and im being unwell over nexus again /pos
They are just a walking tragedy and I love it. They have been pushed and pulled in every which way since creation, a ticking time-bomb made for the narrative to string along with promises of being enough, like a pig being led by a carrot on a stick. They make me JKFHSDF RAHHHHH
From the moment since being made they had to fill Old Moon's shoes. Whether or not the other celestial's wanted them to do that didn't matter to them because that's what Nexus felt like they had to do. They had to live in Old Moon's shadow and walk along the path his much bigger footsteps treaded, even if he has no idea how. And he has to do all that while still being better then him, in almost every way.
And things were going well, for a while!!!
But then Solar died. His chosen Sun. (and Nexus' and Sun's relationship w one another is a wholeee other thing I could get into because I also need to study that like a bug under a microscope kfhdsffs). So, as any Moon does when they lose their Sun, he started spiraling.
And he wasn't going to ask for help- no other Moon he's seen asks for help. Why would he ask for help?? Besides, he doesn't want to burden the other's with his problems when they're obviously suffering from Solar's death, too. And ofc Dark Sun was prolly doing something at this time as well- the hallucinations conveniently starting when Nexus was starting to tip, Dark Sun putting those virus chip things in Eclipse's/Ruin's heads, Nexus being open and vulnerable whenever he went to visit Old Moon in his head for the first time, the perfect timing of Dark Sun being there to scoop up Nexus at his lowest moment, when he was alone and floating in space.
AND now what Nexus is doing now. How do I word what I wanna say about him... He is like a walking unhealthy coping mechanism. Ik a lot of people (me included) have said they can relate to Nexus in some way, and what is going on rn truly makes me think of a "What If" scenario, a "What If" of what if everyone who relates to him chose to cope in a much worse way instead. He is choosing to do the wrong thing because it makes him feel free. Because it brings him comfort, in a way where he doesn't have to feel remorse about what he's done and what he's going to do. He is, to be blunt, going apeshit.
AND I LOVE IT BECAUSE WHO HASN'T WANTED TO GO APESHIT IN THEIR LIFE BEFORE??? He is making the wrong choices. And I want him to be stopped from doing that. I want him to be saved. I don't care if it's Solar or Sun or Ruin or whoever else, I want him to be smacked in the face with being alone again after Dark Sun inevitably betrays/abandoned/leaves him, and I want his ass to be scooped up and dragged back into the family kicking and screaming. And I want apologies from all sides, because while Nexus fucked up, so did the celestial's in their own way. I want him to feel the hurt he caused by betraying the family. And I want the family to feel the hurt they caused by locking him in a cage and throwing him into space. I want them all to feel regret and remorse for things they've done and can never take back.
Oh and I want him to cry. points at nexus. wail, motherfucker /aff
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jonbernthalslut · 4 years ago
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ok no ones gonna read this but i don’t care bc my brain is full as shit rn
OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL
in age of ultron steve can’t lift mjolnir but in endgame he can so one can ask what exactly changed
civil war
steve knew that the winter solider murdered howard and maria stark bc obviously when he was trying to find bucky he found out everything he possibly could and in age of ultron he’s keeping that secret
how could one be worthy of the power of thor while keeping a secret like that from someone so close to him? obviously he wasn’t but the hammer moved a little. because he was still steve rogers and he was close
and then tony finds out and steve spends the next few years fighting his ass off to save the world and save all of the people he cares about and he doesn’t have this secret anymore and he’s just whole and good. so he’s worthy.
AND SECOND OF ALL A BIT OFF TOPIC
wandavision!!!!
1. darcy lewis was a fucking POLISCI MAJOR and met the god of thunder and now she’s a fucking astrophysicist. and ITS DR DARCY LEWIS WHAT AJ ICON and also she’s so cute i’m in love with her
2. agatha fucking harkness. agnes absolutely knows what’s going on and is possibly behind it. she’s completely off her rocker in the comic books. agnes is the one constantly showing up to “help” wanda. she’s the only one who kind of breaks character and doesn’t freak about it like she literally asks wanda to restart the scene. maybe she created the entire reality and she’s the one doing this
3. whoever did create the reality because i’m 80% sure it wasn’t wanda has an ulterior motive. they obviously didn’t create this sitcom shit to give wanda her happiness. i’d bet money theyre after the kids who in the comics come from shards of mephisto’s soul and are incredibly powerful. the only reason they’d give wanda the family she wants. ie vision and the kids would be to get these children whether to use them as weapons or kill them to gain more power
4. MEPHISTO. okay in the comics this asshole gives her the kids and i cant remember if he wanted to weaponize or kill them. either way i’d bet the kids aren’t identified because they weren’t real before west view. aka they were created within the anomaly. in the comics everything he does drives wanda so mad she breaks the multiverse
5. multiverse. in the comics wanda breaks the multiverse. it has been confirmed she is connected to dr stranges multiverse of madness which begins after wandavision season one. i personally think that wanda will break the multiverse (possibly having something to with evan peters pietro (peter) maximoffs appearance in wandavision (the x men could join the mcu seeing as disney bought out the franchise)
6. vision. so i don’t think vision is a corpse anymore. i also don’t think he’s connected to the mindstone at least like he was. vision has shown sympathy before but the emotions he shows in wandavision (especially episode 5) is something more. he’s never gotten angry at wanda like he did. he’s never been confused like he is. vision has never been unaware. i think someone else brought vision back, either agatha or mephisto or some other villian marvel will bring in. before episode 5 vision has never really questioned this reality before but something changed and i can’t really pinpoint what. honestly if anyone figures out what’s going on i think it’ll be vision
6. wanda has also never shown she has the power to bring someone back from the dead AND if she can, i don’t think she would. when sparky dies and billy and tommy beg her to bring him back she says ‘we cannot reverse death no matter how sad it makes us’ and wanda has seen so much death in her life. her parents, pietro and vision. not to mention all the people she killed in lagos and everyone who died in sokovia in age of ultron. not once in her grief of pietro is it shown she tried to bring him back.
7. wanda didn’t start this. she literally says in episode five ‘i don’t even know how any of this staryed’ so maybe mephisto or agatha promised her vision and a family to sort of trick or sate her to get what the want. wanda has been thru a lot yes but nothing so far has pointed to her losing it like this. if it is wanda then it would have to be a complete character change because the wanda we know so far would never enslave and warp people’s minds like this, so permantly (so far) and so widespread. she would be essentially holding an entire hound hostage which just seems out of character for the girl that killed the love of her life, who begged her to, just to save the world. also when she re-enters west view after giving the drone back to sword the force field goes from the blue we’ve been seeing to red indicating someone else’s power is present.
8. pietro!!! so obviously it isn’t the pietro we know. it’s evan peters pietro which is leading to me questioning if whoever created this anomaly mahbe has the power to pull people from another universe. it would be really cool if our first introduction of the x men j to the mcu is peter maximoff. either way pietro’s return is further evidence it’s not wanda creating and controlling the anomaly. when there’s a knock at the door she says i didn’t do that. and she is completely thrown off when she sees pietro. she doesn’t even recognize him at first because obviously it isn’t the same pietro. but id bet that like dottie and agnes sword cant identify pietro either since he probably wasn’t somebody that existed in this universe. i don’t think peter maximoff would willingly work with someone like mephisto or agatha unless he was tricked but i’d bet he literally just doesn’t know what’s going on
9. monica woo and darcy!! i don’t really have many theories about them but i am very very glad that these characters who were previously just side characters in marvel movies that aren’t as widely appreciated as say iron man or the avengers are being given bigger roles!!! i would definitely like to know why monica is uncomfortable talking about carol though? it’s a very big change from the monica we met in captain marvel.
10. hayward. man this guy SUCKS. the only other person we’ve reallt seen talk about wanda like he did was thaddeus ross when he was trying to get the avengers to sign the sokovia accords after lagos. he calls her a terrorist and brings up her history with hydra, talks about the people she killed in lagos and basically insinuates that she’s a villain (which darcy and woo visibly disagree with as id imagine a lot of people do seeing as wanda was key in defeating thanos and bringing people back from the blip, helped save the world after ultron tried to blow it to hell and earned the trust and respect of earths mightiest heroes) i wouldn’t be surprised if he works for hydra or even aim if that makes its presence in the mcu
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inessencedevided · 5 years ago
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The Untamed, episode 46 - watching notes
Full disclosure: I'm not in a particularly good mood today. Have you seen that "no productivity. Only guild." Meme flying around? That's me today :|
Hopefully this will distract me (though distraction was the problem in the first place 🙈)
I apologise for any typos you'll finde in this post 😅
To recap, the last thing I learned was that apparently, Jiggy married his own sister because Jin Guangshan was a scumbag who raped more women than he could possibly remember
I was told by several people that this episode is their favourite. No pressures or anything :D
The way someone is dragging up Jiggy's secrets has a lot of poetic justice to it. Everyone is outraged and gossiping. Consensus is reached quickly. Kinda makes me feel that that someone (who probably also wrote the letter to jgy) knows exactly how to use the sect world's worst qualities as a weapon
Yao what's-his-name, resident gossip queen, at it again
Don't look at me my memory is as bad as wwx when it comes to names :D
I was about to write who is Lianfang Zum again and then I remembered that it's jiggy's honorary title. See what I mean? ^^
What does it say about me that my heart makes a leap when I simply see wwx leaning close to lwj to whisper to him? 😅 I'll probably die reading the novel, that's what that says
Oh so it was the maid who sent the letter
Come on Wei Wuxian! That was cruel
Yeah Yao what's-his-name, why would you need to know the identity of who ever is behind this? It's not like you've ever been deceived before!
What's... with that bracelet?
I love it how everyone looks positively startled when Lan Wangji says something unprompted :D
Wait ... Zwei Jun is in his hands? Shit, i don't remeber what happened there. Where did Xichen go again? 😬
I'm so confused right now 🙈 I can't watch and read the subtitles and type
Okay, watched the whole conversation again, now I'm following
I reiterate my earlier statement that whoever is pulling the strings here knows exactly what strings to pull to get the clans to act
Great, another mob 🙄
Loooool
NOW you want his help? 😂
Sure, as soon as he can serve YOU with his "evil tricks", that's okay!
You can see how much wwx changed because he does not hold their hypocrisy to their faces. He mostly seemed tired of it
And Jiang Cheng just realised that wwx might indeed not be responsible for Jiang Yanli's death, didn't he? He's almost stunned 🥺
Or is BEAUTIFUL to see Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji move in such unity! 😭
Oh ... those are the graves of his foster parents, right? :(
And Yanli ... oh God I forgot about Yanli 🥺
I'm crying again. Nothing on this show will ever hit as hard to me as the Yunmeng siblings' fate
I couldn't help myself, I legitimately just stroked my laptop screen where Yanli's plate was 🥺
So many conflicting emotions
Thanks to a friendly anon, I know that these three bows together are marriage thing! 😭😭😭
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So yeah, they're married now. I dont make the rules :')
Somehow, this feels like them asking wwx's foster family's blessing
And now I'm imagining Shijie smiling back at them gently and I'm crying 🥺
And by God, I love lwj's gentle teasing :')
This whole scene, he's so soft! 😭
And it think that Wei Wuxian probably thought that he'd never get to step into Lotus Pier again. But here, he can finally say his goodbyes to his Shijie properly. He can heal! 🖤
And again, I cannot stress enough how wonderful that is! And how rare and precious in a show like this. So often character's get put through unimaginable trauma, but they either brush it off no problem or the show/movie ends immediately after the main action and you are left to imagine the number it did on the character's psyche. There are so rarely fantasy shows that really dive into the emotional fallout the plot has on their characters and then give them time to heal. Thus show does both and I'm so goddamn overjoyed my it!
Come to think of it, it reminds me of a very good hurt/comfort fic 🤷‍♀️
Jiang Cheng pleae, fir once, try not to be angry immediately when you're hurting :(
He still takes special offence that lwj is there. Makes me wonder if he still feels like wwx chooses lwj over the Jiang sect and is still hurt by it 😔 (note that at the same time, he reminds wwx that he's very much not a member of the Jiang clan anymore. God, the man has not worked through his own feelings ...)
For once, as much as I love it when lwj defends wwx (especially when it's not against any physical harm, but because he doesn't want wwx to be hurt emotionally) I think him interfering with this particular conflict does not help
Okay sorry, but no! lotus pier was not destroyed because wwx saved lwj in that cave. That was just an excuse for the Wen sect. They would have come eventually anyway
Ohhh
So there's my answer
He's still hurt because he feels wwx chooses anyone else over his family, which is to say him
And he probably can't understand because their positions are so different. The (future) sect leader and the son of a (dead) servant and a rogue cultivator who never felt quite like he belonged 😔
It's so goddamn tragic how much between these two was destroyed simply because they have such a different status in society and could never quite understand each other's perspective
And again, wwx just takes it 💔
Until, that is, lwj's honour gets besmirched
Don't fight in front of Shijie 🥺
Jiang Cheng's every action screams that he still loves his brother and that amidst all that pain for his lost family, is also deep betrayal and grieve for the brother he thought he could always count on 🥺💔
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Can we appreciate for a second how much this shot tells us? From Jiang Cheng's angry desperation, to Wei Wuxian's quite acceptance of his rage (which must be so confusing to Jiang Cheng and probably hurt him even more. Because fighting is always how these two resolved their issues!) to Lan Wangji who is in full on protective mode (which I find more than heartwarming,but still think probably isn't helpful rn)
He ... what?
I still don't quite understand when exactly wwx's lack of golden core shows. Why does he have a nosebleed here?
What?
Oh!
Wen Ning 😱
I get what he wants to do!
Have we ever seen him this calm and determined before?
Abd they understand 😱😱😱
The look on all of their faces! Shiiiiit
I'm crying again
Oh wangii is crying 🥺
Wen Quing 💔💔💔 I'm crying even harder just looking at her. I've MISSED her 🥺
Lan Zhan your FACE!! 😭
The way he's looking at wwx in his arms, as if he's seeing him fir the first time
And by god, I can only imagine what he must be thinking
He must be reevaluation every single interaction they had since wwx started down the path of demonic cultivation 😭
I'm a bit in awe of Wen Ning here and how much he must have been holding in. That's the steadiest and most confident he's ever been
Oh Jiang cheng 💔
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That looks like a man whose entire world has just been shaken to its core
And Lan Wangji is crying so much 🥺
God I hope he doesn't blame himself even more 🥺
Aaaaaaahhhh, so that is why he wouldn't just carry the sword for appearance sake and why he just had a nosebleed!
Jiang Cheng probably needs about a month to process all that :/
And therapy ...
Aaaaaaahhhh! The boat scene! I've seen gifs! 😍😍😍
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A penny for Lan Wangji's thoughts ...
Oh I'm so so so so glad that Wen Ning gets to say thank you to the man who raised his ... cousin (?) :')
Oh god we get to see!!!!
Oh little a Yuan 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I wonder now, did Lan Qiren know who the child was that his nephew suddenly brought back to cloud recess?
I'm glad that we all learned from this that keeping secrets from the people we love, especially secrets that concern them personally, will eventually come back to bide us in the ass. Than you for delivering that important lesson, wen Ning!
Which reminds me that I hope they eventually tell wwx that they know 😬
I swear to god, one of these days I will melt from the gentleness in lan Wangji's gaze :')
Shit. He had to be awake? 😳
You can pinpoint the moment Lan Wangji's heart breaks for all the suffering wwx endured and how close he came to loosing him even then 🥺
Waking like that in you lovers arms in the middle of a lotus pond - that's the dream *sighs* (minus the passing out bit)
It's weirdly cute that wwx thinks that it's Jiang Cheng's insults that have lwj so upset 😅
Oh GOOOOD ...
I can't
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The moment Yanli's themes started to play and she appeared I started to bawl 😭😭😭
And he's sharing the lotus pods with them ... oh please, lwj, please understand what he's saying. That's his pove language! His sister's food was how he received love and right now he passes it on to you! Please, please understand it! 🥺
Oh lwj, don't 🙈
Awwwwww ....
He's breaking the rules for you!!! Just to make you smile!!! 😭😭
And holy shit look at their expressions 😭
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By now you should know that he's willing to break the rules for you :')
And poor third wheel Wen Ning 😂
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Now there are glittering butterflies???
Do they have some kind of romantic aesthetic bingo going on in this episode???
Oh okay, messenger butterflies
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Please appreciate wwx almost climbing into lan Wangji's lab in excitement :D
Thay scene transition was pretty af!
Hey! Why do they bully wen Ning? 😤
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*shakes wwx by the shoulders* DO YOU GET THAT HE LOVES YOU NOW???
Huh, this episode was a roller coaster. you guys did NOT exaggerate! I loved it to pieces. I'm floored once more by all the actor's performances. Wen Ning revealed a lot about his character, Jiang Cheng broke my heart, Lan Wangji made it melt and Shijie is still able to make me bawl in an instant. But ... I'm not left with a bitter feeling. Sure, jiang Cheng and wei Wuxian havebt reconciled, but the truth is the first step to even have that possibility. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are both healing and whatever happens in the last 4 (4!!!😭) episodes, I'm not dreading it that much right now. I feel like we're climbing upwards :)
@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose thank you guys for staying with me for this crazy ride 💙🖤💙
Also one last thing: please don't tell me what happens differently in the novel in any given scene. I am still reading it (about half way through rn) and I'd like to still be surprised by stuff like first kisses and love confessions 💙🖤
I should have put something like this at the end before, but I always forgot. That's on me 😅 so don't feel bad, if you've shared something before :)
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eternal-bangtan · 5 years ago
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BTS game
hello i was tagged by @fictionbunny @kimsouthjoon @hobis-glasses @kookie-off-his-kookie to do this one of the most complicated tags to me cuz i really dont like to choose amongst these things -_- just wanna say that i appreciate every era every hair colour they pull them off like crazy every song every mv every moment etc so i wanna punch the air and eat my fist rn but lets try im gonna break every rule i can tho dont fucking @ me fuck this shit  expect a lot of words     keep reading fucked up all the mentions im sorry ;( just scroll to the bottom
1. First BTS song? DNA but yo when i was in my active yt phase (2015-) i think i watched fine bros ent and they showed kpop mvs to random ppl and i think (i only realized it months later) they showed bst mv and at those times i was wow those kpop dudes r so extra with mvs like this dlfsjkljkfdhf also i think somewhere on 9gag i saw a lil clip of fire mv and i remembered joons verse just visuals and the rythm or melody or idk this is how i didnt know who r bts but i remembered that dudes (joon) face so yeah idk how to feel
2. First bias? as i just whined in the tags in previous posts it was taehyung
3. Current bias? ot7 biased i had sth clicking in me with every member but ofc sometimes i have moods related to a certain member :)
4. Put the members in order of your bias list: nO idk how am i supposed to choose 
5. Favorite BTS song? well fuck u too let me know rain serendipity pied piper dimple gogo trivia love singularity fake love tear anpanman love maze so what  black swan ugh jamais vu interlude shadow my time louder than bombs on 00:00 home mikrokosmos intro the most beautiful moment in life hold me tight autumn leaves run silver spoon save me epilogue young forever butterfly house of cards love is not over converse high outro propose where you from intro skool luv affair blood swear and tears lie mama awake lost begin cypher 4 intro boy meets evil spring day outro wings we are bulletproof pt 2 like outro circle room cypher dream glow who feat lauv no more dream ddaeng chicken noodle soup sea should i continue???????
6. Favorite underrated BTS song? i dont even know overrated songs?? if u can put it like this 
7. Favorite song of Wings? ................. no one is going to read all of this anyway but i mentioned some in 5th question fhahaha
8. Favorite songs of each LY Her, Tear, Answer? same here lmao yes im doing this on purpose who cares
9. Favorite music video?  ON Kinetic Manifesto Film : Come Prima i think cuz bruh the choreo this is what i love the most about mvs sdfhsdlkhsf 
10. Favorite dancer? out of dance line? uh THEY ALL DANCE IN SUCH DIFFERENT STYLES WTF ok so im a fan of hip hop so i really love hobis style but oh my god the way jungkook moves or does whatever??? im losing my shit?? jimin hello he made me love contemporary with black swan even tho i wasnt a fan of it taehyung BITCH SHOULD I EVEN START HE APPEARS ON STAGE AND U FEEL IT RIGHT AFTER
11. Favorite vocalist? should i reply like i did previously :/ ngl tho i prefer lower voices irl cuz they make me feels things but bro nah no way i can reply to this properly i keep listening to them i feeling their voices differently even in some new ways and im blown away fuck u 
12. Favorite rapper? f u c k  u  one thing im gonna say tho idk how but a lot of times whenever i hear hobis verses in majority of songs im like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :OOOOOOOOOOOO IM LOVING THIS NOT NORMAL AMOUNT but should i start about their different flows or how much they experiment with it and how cool is that??? and how they feel themselves and how good they r at this??? nah fr fuck u -_- metaphorical ‘u’ 
13. Favorite hair color on each member? uh plz dont forget about my disclaimer namjoon-grape peachy platinum blonde, jin-blonde purple pink, yoongi-mint black blonde fake love era hair, hoseok-blonde fake love era hair chicken noodle soup hair longish hair esp during tear performances -_-, jimin-blonde black silver pink blue and honesly all those colours he had during lys tour????, taehyung-dna hair perm he has rn mint red peachy blue and also all that ly tour hair, jungkook-long hair blonde cherry all kinds of ombre he has rn dna era hair too and fake love hair and bst hair and i think there r more but i dont remember ;(
14. Favorite choreography? on black swan fake love bst boy with luv dionysus save me etc shOULD I MENTION THOSE DANCE BREAKS THEY HAD DURING AWARD SHOWS LOL
15. Favorite (bromance) ship? GOD I LOVE ALL THEIR BONDS SO MUCH ITS SO PRECIOUS AND SPECIAL my ults tho r taekook yoonminseok and namjin cuz i prefer it this way in fanfics but irl or how do i say it from all the content we get i love every bromance thingy they have tho????? LIKEEEE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH I CAN TALK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS HOW MUCH ALL OF THEM MEAN TO EACH OTHER AND HOW MANY TAEJINYOONKOOKMINJOONVHOPEYOONSEOKJIHOPENAMGI2SEOKEVRYTHINGEVERPOSSIBLEETC THREADS I RETWEETED they melt my heart they really show how u r supposed to treat ur closest ppl u kno? they accepted each other and all those personal traits that seemed so weird and unfamiliar at first and they know each other so well and r so caring and loving and supportive but how do we do shit irl? bitch u piss me off real bad u better fuckk off or else- ofc im exaggerating but shit like this happens and its really time to rethink some shit and well i really learnt a lot 
thank u for u patience 
im tagging @darlingjoon @starry-tae @stargazingjin @crytaeby @cyphertaehyungie @brightlytae @vjimin @monojoons @jungkpop @jungkooksmoon @itseokjins @flowerbangtann @lucid-jjin @yoonshadow @agu5td @hosnack @jjkguk @hwagaemkt @utopiajeon @nemjyoon @sunshineggukie @mapofugh or whoever else wants or well sorry if u were tagged or did this already also u may read its pointless anyways so  yeah i hope u r having a good time day night week mood etc or if u dont plz do 
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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years ago
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Unexpected
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MASTERLIST 
(hope whoever requested this likes it <3 also ben looks soft and cute in this pic, i cant rn) 
Word Count: 4,326
WARNING: underage drinking, unwanted pregnancy angst
One week before Summer vacation’s over and you’re officially a senior. Eighteen looked good on you and you were so determined to do amazing in school - like always - and earn your way into an Ivy League. It was a huge dream of yours and you wouldn’t let anything get in that way. 
“What do you mean you’re not going to Will’s party tonight? You promised!” 
You were laying on your bed with your phone to your ear. Your best friend Ben is on the other line with a pathetically sad voice. 
“Will’s thrown an end of summer part since we were in second grade! We always go together! You can’t bail on me now!” 
You just sigh as you roll over onto your belly and close your eyes. 
“Ben, it’s just that I want a clear head before we go back. This is the year of y/n, okay? I don’t want anything to ruin this.” 
“So a silly party might ruin your reputation and acceptance into college?” he asks with a dramatic voice. 
You roll your eyes again. 
“This is serious to me, Ben! I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at.” 
“Don’t have to rub it in.” he says softly, causing your heart to break a bit. 
Ben still hasn’t gotten any acceptance letters to colleges he had applied for this Summer and it was bumming him out badly. You could tell. 
“What time do you want to leave?” you ask with a slight smile as you change the topic. 
You can hear Ben slightly gasp and can practically hear the smile on his face. 
“Is that you saying that you’ll go!?” he asks loudly. 
“Yes. I’ll go with you to Will's silly party! Pick me up around eight?”
Ben looks at the clock and realizes that’s only thirty minutes from now. He smiles and nods, even though you can’t see it. 
“Eight it is.” 
***
The idea didn’t seem so bad to you after you got yourself all ready. It was your senior year after all. This would be your last end of Summer party with your friends. You wanted to get dolled up and look nice for the occasion… Or possibly look nice for Aaron - your crush. You know he’ll be there so you mentally thank Ben for making you say yes. 
You’re waiting downstairs in your living when there’s a honk just outside. You know it’s Ben. You say goodbye to your parents as you rush off. Ben’s in the driver's seat with a big goofy grin on his face. You hurry to the car and slide in. 
“You look fancy.” he says in a purr like voice. 
You roll your eyes and lightly blush. 
“For Aaaaaron?” he asks, drawing out his name. 
You reach over and shove his arm playfully, causing him to laugh out loud. 
“What’s wrong with just wanting to look nice, huh!?” 
You both talk about anything and everything as you drive to the party. It’s located out by the docks on the lake like every year. That meant swimming, bonfires and god knows what else. You both finally arrive as he parks the car. You jump out and look around at the swarm of kids that were here. Your knew everyone that was here, but it felt odd seeing them after a year of being absent for Summer. It was nice to see familiar faces. You scan around and spot Aaron and your heart jumps. He’s near a table with all kinds of drinks on them - including alcohol. It was a party after all. 
“Want a drink?” asks Ben as if he’s read your mind.
“Please!” 
He nods and walks away towards the table. You slowly follow behind him with your eyes on Aaron. He’s smiling and laughing with one of his friends as you stare at him with actual heart eyes. You’re closer to the table when Aaron looks over and spots you. He smiles big and waves. It catches you off guard as you stand up straight and awkwardly wave back. He definitely caught you staring. Your face burned as you walk up more. 
“How was your Summer break?” asks Aaron as he walks up and brings you in for a hug. 
You’re frozen as he leans away with that sweet smile still plastered on his face. 
“Oh,” you say fast, realizing you need to speak. “It was awesome! Thanks. How, uh, how was yours?” 
Aaron shrugs and continues smiling as Ben turns from the table and stops as he watches you two. He knows about your feelings towards Aaron and doesn’t want to ruin the moment for you. Ben sips on his drink as he just stands back and observes. 
“Wasn’t too bad actually.” says Aaron. “Missed my science buddy though.” he teases as he talks about you. 
You giggle and move a piece of hair behind your hair - your way too obvious way of flirting. 
“Well, maybe we’ll have that class again this yea-” 
Before you can finish, Clara, the popular girl in school, walks up and wraps her arms around Aaron’s waist all while leaning up and kissing him. Your smile falls fast as you watch their intimate moment. You look away and feel your heart break. Ben watches you as he lowers the cup, his heart breaking for you as well. You’re looking around awkwardly as you rub your arm. Aaron and Clara look to you as her face falls. 
“Can we help you?” she asks rudely. 
Aaron speaks up in defense. 
“No, babe, I was talking to y/n about how I missed my science buddy. She use to let me copy her stuff all the time.” he laughs out. 
Oh, you think to yourself. That’s why you missed me. 
“Hey, y/n!” calls out Ben to rescue you. 
He walks up and you watch as Clara eyes him up and down, a smile on her face. He doesn’t pay her any attention as he’s only focused on you. 
“Here’s your drink. Let’s go by the fire.” he says quickly before grabbing your hand and leading you away. 
You follow him without a fight. You were thankful for the save. The two of you walk until you spot a giant log sitting by the huge campfire. You sit down and down your drink in an instant. Ben gets back up and steals a bottle of liquor for you two to share. You’re staring at the fire as your head starts buzzing. 
“Thank you.” you say quietly. 
Ben knows what you’re referring to. He reaches over and wraps an arm around your shoulder as he pulls you close to him. He kisses your head and rests his on it for a moment. 
“Anytime.” he says back, causing you to smile. 
You lean away to drink some more. You’re staring over at Aaron and watching as him and Clara hang all over each other. They look so happy and it made you sick. 
“Why would he want her?” you ask. “She’s the rudest human I’ve ever met.” 
“Agreed.” says Ben with a mouth full of booze. 
You just shake your head and down another drink. It was starting to mess with your head and you were actually kind of happy. You needed to let loose for a bit. Let go of all of your stress before the actual stress even begins. 
“Wanna dance?” asks Ben randomly as he watches a big group of kids dancing like crazy on a gravely patch to the right of you. 
You watch them for a moment before smiling and standing up. You wobble for a moment, but catch yourself. 
“After you,” you say to him. 
The two of you hurry up and begin dancing like crazy. Ben’s holding your hand and twirls you around as you laugh. He does some silly dance moves that make you cry from laughter. When the song’s over, you both return back to your seat. But as you sit down, you both miss the log at the same time and land on your butts. You’re drunk as you both lean against one another and laugh hard. You continue to sit on the ground as you sip on your drink some more. 
“I’m really drunk.” you confess to Ben. 
He laughs and nods. 
“Me too.” 
You look back over to Aaron and frown. 
“She’s so lucky.” you say. “I bet he’s so good in bed.” 
Ben chokes on his drink as he coughs, making you look at him fast. 
“What!?” you ask.
“Innocent y/n talking about a guy in bed. I’m surprised.” 
You roll your eyes at him. 
“I’m not as innocent as you think, Ben.” 
He raises a brow to you. 
“Oh really? Do you even know what a sex is?” 
“A sex!?” you ask as you laugh hard. 
“Yes! A sex!” he laughs out. 
“For your information,” you slur. “There’s a lot that you don’t know about me. Especially me with sex.” 
Ben’s actually shocked by that. His face falls and his mouth closes. 
“You’ve…?” he asks. 
You nod proudly. 
“Of course I have. Have you…?” 
“Yeah, of course.” he laughs. “Just a bit shocked by yours.” 
You look back to Aaron and frown once more. 
“I just bet he’s so good.” 
“Jesus, y/n. There’s other men out there that are decent at sex ya know. I bet he’s shit.” 
“Oh really?” you ask. “Are you good in bed, Benjamin?” 
“Actually,” he says smugly. “I’m quite freaking fantastic.” 
You’re taken aback by his bluntness. 
“Oh…” is all you can say. 
“That’s what you need though,” he says taking a swig. “A good shag. You’ve probably been deprived all Summer.” 
Honestly, he was right. You’ve been so focused on school and your studies this Summer that you failed to do anything remotely fun. 
“But, you know, I didn’t have any all Summer either. So, ya know, it’s just an idea… Maybe,” 
You lean away and raise a brow at him with a somewhat twisted face.
“Ben, are you trying to say what I think you’re saying?” you ask a bit loud. 
He just looks around and then back at you.
“...Maybe…” 
***
Ben slowly moved his car down the dirt road that it was parked on. The car was far away from anybody as you straddled his lap in the back seat. Your lips were pressed together in a hot and messy kiss. His hands roamed your body as you grind into him. 
“Just to be clear,” you say pulling away. “I don’t like you like this, okay?” 
“Ditto.” he says fast, trying to go back to kissing you. 
“We’re just doing this because we’re super drunk and turned on. And because I have angry sexual frustrations over Aaron that I need to release. Got it?”
“Got it, but if you say his name again, I’m gonna have to leave.” 
You both laugh as you shake your head and resume your kissing. The car windows were fogged up and you were so happy that no one was able to look inside and see what the two of you were doing. 
***
2 Weeks Later 
School had started back up and you were thrilled about how well you were already doing. You and Ben had practically every class together, besides first hour. Last year, you had none, so you were happy. It was time for lunch as you both made your way to the cafeteria. Surprisingly, you weren’t hungry. You opted for a drink instead and sat next to Ben as you both talked about anything and everything, but today Ben decided to bring up another topic. 
“We never really spoke about what happened that night…” he lingers. 
Your eyes go wide as you look around fast, hoping no one could hear you. 
“Ben!” you scold. “What is there to talk about? We were drunk and just bored.” 
“I know, but I didn’t want this to be weird or anything.” 
“Nothing’s weird.” you smile. “You’re still my best friend and that’s all.” 
That relieved Ben as you both enjoy your lunch break with laughter about what had happened that day so far. 
***
2 Weeks Later 
You had woken up that Tuesday morning with horrible nausea. You weren’t running a fever, but you felt like you had the flu. You were constantly in the bathroom as you released everything you ate the day before. You felt horrible. Your mom decided that you needed to go get checked out at the hospital and she’d go with you. 
It felt like forever in the waiting room before your name was called. You were taken back to a room where you had to get dressed in a hospital gown. After checking you and drawing blood, your doctor was there. 
“Heard we’re not feeling good today.” she says sweetly as she checks your chart. 
“Yeah, I’ve had the worst nausea ever. It just keeps hitting out of the blue.” 
She’s quiet as she studies the paper and then speaks. 
“Tell me, y/n, when was your last period?” 
You sit there and think for a moment before your heart jumps. 
“I, uh,” you look to your mom as she watches you closely, a confused look on her face when you linger. “I guess I’m sort of late for it.” you say quietly. 
Your mother swallows hard and leans back in her chair. The doctor looks to you and then to her. 
“Mrs. y/l/n, do you mind if I speak to y/n alone real quick. She’s considered an adult now and I just need to ask her a few more questions by herself.” she says with a smile. 
Your mom nods and looks to you with a half sad smile. She reaches over and grabs your hand for a moment before standing up and exiting the room. Once she’s gone, the doctor turns to face you. 
“Alright, mom’s gone so now I can ask you some questions. Are you sexually active?” she asks. 
You shake your head no fast but then stop. You remember Ben instantly and your stomach twisted. 
“No… Well, once, but…” you trail off. 
The doctor just watches you as she nods and stands up.
“We’re gonna take another sample of blood real fast and I’ll go tell mom that she can come back in.” 
All you can do is nod as she leaves the room. What was happening!? They can’t actually think that you might be pregnant… Right? Your mother comes back in and says nothing as she sits down and stares at the floor. A nurse walks in and hurries to draw some more of your blood. You’re told that it’ll take a bit for them to get the results… And they did. 
And you were pregnant. 
***
You’re sat in the passenger side as your mother drives back home. You’ve just been told you were going to have a baby and it felt like a bad dream. You stared out the window until she finally speaks up. 
“I tell you the same thing over and over, y/n, always wear protection! I was your age once, I know what it’s like to have urges. I don’t care what you do, I just needed you to do that one thing and you didn’t.” 
Tears well up in your eyes as you look over and watch her speak. She doesn’t look angry, she doesn’t even sound angry. Just disappointed, which was somehow worse. 
“I was seventeen when I had you,” she says finally looking over at you. “Was I too young? Yes. Do I regret it at all? Absolutely not. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, it’s just… It’s just that I didn’t want you to miss out on things like I did.” 
“I don’t have to.” you barely whisper.
Your mother looks over and she understands what you’re referring to. She looks back to the road and nods. 
“I think that’s something you should probably talk to the father about. Speaking of the father… Do I even want to know who it is, because when you’re father finds out…” she lingers off as she sighs about the moment you have to tell your father. 
You take in a deep breath and look down at your hands. 
“Ben.” you barely whisper. 
Your mom’s head flies to look at you, her eyes wide. 
“I’m sorry, who?” she asks. 
“Ben…” you say once more. 
“Ben?! Your best friend Ben!? The same Ben that you use to take bubble baths with when you were two!?” 
All you can do is nod. Your mother looks back to the road and just shrugs. 
“In an odd way I’m actually a bit relieved that it wasn’t that Anthony kid from your school.” 
“Aaron, mom.” you correct her. 
She rolls her eyes at his name. 
“His name can be whatever - doesn’t make him less of an idiot.” 
That comment makes both of you laugh and some stress falls off your shoulders. But she’s right… You need to tell Ben. 
***
“Ya know, being asked to meet in the park after dinner really makes me think you’re going to murder me.” teases Ben as he jogs up to you. 
You’re sat on a swing as you gently go back and forth. You didn’t laugh at his dumb joke which made him a bit worried. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks as he sits on the swing beside you. 
You can’t look him in the eyes as you stare down at your feet. 
“I went to the hospital today.” you say quietly. 
“Shit, are you okay!?” he asks worried.
 “I’m… I’m fine.” you tell him. “I just found out something that I need to tell you and I don’t want you to get angry at me for it. Okay?”
You finally look to him and your eyes are watery. He was beyond worried. 
“Okay.” he whispers. 
You take in a deep breath and close your eyes. 
“I’m pregnant.” 
You open them to watch as Ben’s face goes pale. He’s staring at you as you wave your hand in front of his face. 
“Ben?” you ask, causing him to come back to reality. 
“Is it mine?” he asks fast. 
You’re offended by that questions as your face twists up and you stand fast. 
“Yeah, Ben, because I sleep with so many people!” you shout as you begin walking away fast. 
He jumps up from the swing and yells out to you before gently grabbing your arm to stop you. 
“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it. I’m sorry! I’m just… I’m just trying to process all of this, okay? I wasn’t expecting that. At all. I don’t even know what to say.” 
You realize that he was still in shock as you look down and nod your head. You wrap your arms around yourself as he watches you. 
“I - we - can’t raise a baby right now. I have college to look forward to. I wanted to talk to you about adoption and-” 
“Adoption?” he asks confused. 
“Yeah? I can’t give up my dreams because of one dumb mistake we made, Ben.” 
Ben sarcastically laughs as he takes a step backwards. 
“Your dreams? You see, yn, that’s so typical of you to always be thinking of yourself.” 
You’re taken aback by his harsh statement as your eyes narrow. 
“Thinking of myself?! Ben, this is Ivy League we’re talking about! You can go to a community college whenever you want, but mine’s a big deal!” 
You knew that was a mistake to say whenever the words slipped from your mouth. Ben laughs and raises his eyebrows as you close your eyes and sigh. 
“I’m sorry, Ben. That’s not what I meant, okay? I’m sorry.” 
“No, it’s fine. I’m gonna go and not get in your way of whatever it is you want. As long as you reach the top, right? Because my opinion on this doesn’t matter.” 
He turns around and begins walking away as you shout out for him to stop, but he doesn’t. That didn’t go as you planned. 
***
3 Months Pregnant 
“Ben, I have my first ultrasound appointment today and I really want you to be there. I know we’ve been distant lately, but I could really use you there by my side. Please?” 
You hang up the phone as your mom walks into the living room with your coat. 
“Didn’t answer?” she asks sadly. 
You just shake your head as you wipe away a tear and stand up to leave. You were nervous for your appointment. The drive wasn’t long until you get there. You’re taken back to a room and lay down on a bed. You lift your shirt up and expose your slightly swollen belly. Your mom smiles at the sight as you look around at all of the odd machinery in the room. There’s a knock at the door and in walks your doctor. 
“Ready to see your baby?” she asks sweetly as she sits down on a small chair in front of a screen. 
As she’s rubbing a weird green jelly on your stomach, there’s a loud knock at the door. You all look to it as it opens up and in walks Ben. He looks out of breath as he just awkwardly smiles and looks to you. You’re shocked to see him as you grin and sit up slightly. 
“You came.” you whisper. 
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” he replies. 
He walks over and greets your mom with a hug as he places a chair near you and sits. The two of you sadly smile at one another and by the look in his eyes, he’s telling you that he’s sorry. You hold out your hand for him to take, symbolizing that you were too. He takes it as the two of you watch the tiny screen light up.
“There it is.” says the nurse showing you the tiny face. 
Your heart swells as you quietly cry to yourself. You look over and watch as Ben’s eyes are blood red and he’s crying too, along with your mom. 
“It’s so tiny.” you whisper, looking back to the screen. 
“I can’t believe that’s our baby.” whispers Ben, a sweet smile on his face. 
The way he was looking at it made something in your head start turning. It made your heart swell up and something felt different. 
***
6 Months Pregnant 
“Is it odd to have a baby shower when we’re giving her up for adoption?” asks Ben a bit sad as he places pink plates on a table. 
Your mom looks over to you and gives you a knowing smile as you look back to Ben. 
“Ben,” you start as he looks over to you. “I’ve been thinking about things a lot lately. College will always be there for me when I’m ready to go, but this,” you say as you place your hands on your bump. “This whole parent thing seems much more rewarding than that, so…” you linger, causing Ben to understand what you’re trying to say. 
He steps towards you fast with his eyes wide and a serious look on his face. 
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying!?” he asks fast. 
All you can do is bite your lip and nod. Ben’s face broke into a huge grin as he reaches forward and hugs you. 
“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” he whispers against you. 
You wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. 
“Me too.” you whisper back.
***
9 Months Pregnant
“Breathe, it’s okay. You’re doing so great. Just breathe.” 
You’re in a hospital bed as contractions hit you hard. Your water had broken while Ben was moving some of his stuff into your room for the arrival of the baby. It was a week early and you weren’t expecting it. Ben and your mom were in the room with you as he held your hand and allowed you to squeeze it as hard as you want. 
“You’re doing so good.” he whispers as he rubs your back with his free hand. 
“I don’t want her to think she was a mistake!” you yell out randomly, causing your mom and Ben to look at each other confused. 
“Why would she think that?” he asks. 
“Because her parents aren’t even in love! We’re two best friends having a baby and I don’t want her to hate us for that! I don’t want it to feel like a broken home!” 
Ben laughs softly as he feels bad for you thinking that. 
“Hey, no! It’s not like we’ve gotten a divorce or broke up. There’s not going to be any split holidays or separate birthday parties, okay? She’s being born into a family that loves her more than she’ll ever know. Understand? Yeah, we’re not the typical ‘fall in love and have a baby’ scenario, but we do love each other and she’ll always see that.” 
You’re looking up to Ben as you cry hard at what he’s saying. You nod your head and feel a million times better already. 
“Thank you for that.” you whisper just before another contraction hits. 
Your rooms door opens up and in walks the doctor as she puts on some gloves. 
“Alright, who’s ready to have a baby?” 
***
1 Hour Later 
You’re laying in the bed with Ben at your side. Your mom had ran out to grab some food as you both admire your beautiful baby girl. 
“She has your eyes.” you tell him. 
“Well she has your lips.” he says with a smile. 
“I can’t believe we created something this beautiful.” you whisper as she begins squirming around and makes the sweetest little noise. 
You both scrunch your faces and ‘awww’ at it. You look over to Ben and smile. 
“I’m glad she’s ours.” you admit. “This is a way better feeling than receiving an acceptance letter.” 
Ben laughs softly as he kisses your head. 
“I can agree with you on that.” 
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minbbyyoongi · 5 years ago
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Sickeningly Sweet (Bang Chan VampireAU!
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Stray Kids Bang Chan Vampire AU!
summary: You were born to a single mother who you knew very little about. She worked a lot and was always gone before you woke up. You meet a vampire friend of your mothers who is set out to protect you. You find out you’re a Pureblood Vampire, and your time is coming
No warnings rn but the next part will be smut almost for sure lol :)
PART 1
You were 7 when you first saw him. One second you were holding hands with your mother walking through the busy streets of New York and the next you were alone, being pushed in every direction. You made your way through the crowds and stood on the side of the street against a little shop, cornering an alley. You were starting to look in every direction for your mom when hands slipped over your mouth and waist. Whoever it was held your arms against your side with a bruising strength and no matter how much you struggled, he didn’t budge. You watched the entrance of the alleyway get farther and farther away as the man carried you in deeper. 
“You smell delicious, darling.”
The man moved to hold your hands behind your back with one of his and he turned you to face him. You were shaking and you could feel tears well up in your eyes. He leaned forward and sniffed up your collarbone to your neck. 
Within a second he was on the ground, a pale blonde man standing over the two of you. He looked unreal. The blood red pupils over the stark white of his eyes made it seem like they were glowing, bringing an eery red hue to surround him. 
“If you touch her again, I won’t be so gentle. Feeding on kids? You’re disgusting.  Get out of my sight, now!”
Your savior wasn’t yelling but his voice was aggressive and demanding. The other man scrambled out from under the blonde mans gaze and almost disappeared in the blink of an eye. 
“Let’s go.”
He used the same, dominant tone and reached a hand out to you without looking down. You didn’t know what else to do so you grabbed his finger and immediately you felt yourself get swept up into his grip and it felt like you were on a rollercoaster. When the feelings faded you were balled up in this mans arms hanging on for dear life. 
“Go inside, call your mother. Tell her you’re safe at home and you’ll be okay alone. Tell her Chan’s got it covered.”
You stared at the man with wide eyes and a blank expression.
“Are you Chan?”
Your voice was little and weak, you sounded terrified and the vampire before you took notice. 
“My name is Christopher Bangchan, you can call me whatever you’d like doll.”
He smiled awkwardly at the end of his sentence and you giggled. 
“Chris, thank you for saving me.”
You shuddered at the memory that popped into your head at that statement and Bangchan put a hand on your shoulder.
“Forget about it kid, and don’t worry. Ill be out here to protect you until your mother returns.”
He nodded and slightly pushed you towards the house, disappearing from your view as you walked in the front door. You locked it behind you and called your mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next time you saw him you were 15. Your friends had gotten together and were going to a big party. They convinced you to sneak out and join them, so after your mom fell asleep, you shimmied out of your bedroom window on the second floor and walked to the edge of the roof. Below you, your friends stood holding their hands up to catch your legs and help you down. Once safely on the grass, you took off running in the direction of the trail in the woods.
“Party’s this way!”
You giggled and kept running, hearing your friends behind you. Wearing a plaid miniskirt, a white crop top and a pair of white knee high boots, running was a bit difficult. Your best friend ran past you and stuck out her tongue on your right, then two more of your friends passed by your left. 
You felt gushes of wind blow past you as if someone was running by, but you couldn’t see the edges of the trail anymore, your surroundings blurring into a green mess. Putting your hands over your ears and squeezing your eyes, you yelled. Screamed and begged for your friends to come back. 
When you opened your eyes, you were laying on your back and your friends stood in a circle over you. Past them, you thought you saw figures perched in the trees, watching you. You blinked the thought away and sat up. After having to reassure your group multiple times that your were fine, you guys continued to walk towards the sound of music. 
After reaching the house, you and your best friend went shot for shot with the two star football players of your high school. Seeing as you two were tiny school girls you became quite drunk very fast. You swore you could see a flash of red cross Seungri’s eyes as he tossed another vodka shot back and stared at you. You shook your head and excused yourself to the bathroom. Head spinning, you made your way through the house and into the small guest restroom. 
Splashing water on your face you decided it would be best to leave, you’d been here drinking straight vodka for over an hour now and were starting to feel woozy. You wiped your face off and left the room, making a beeline for the front door. No one was out front except a girl two grades above you, with wild red hair and beautiful skin, smoking a joint. She looked up at you and nodded, familiar red flashing through her gaze. You turned back forward and started almost running, back in the direction of the trail you knew all too well. 
There, standing at the entrance of the trail, was the girl from the front porch. She smirked and you could see fangs poking out of her red painted lips. 
“Where do you think you’re going sugar? I smell something sweet.”
Her voice sent chills down your spine as you tried to take off running past her. Her hand gripped into your bicep and you felt her nails dig into your skin. She was strong, almost impossibly strong. 
“Mhmm you’re staying with me tonight, treat.”
Struggling was useless, her death grip on your arm now drawing blood. You slumped down and growled, staring up at her with a glare. Her gaze was fixed on your arm, warm, red blood running over her fingers and down your forearm. She used her other hand to swipe some of it off of her nail and she licked it, closing her eyes for a second. 
“Let her go now or you’re going to regret it, Jennie.”
She opened her eyes and rolled them, sighing and popping her finger out of her mouth. 
“Awe Channie, coming to try and steal my dinner?”
She laughed at him and dug her nails deeper into your arm, pushing more blood out and over her hand. 
“She’s mine. Back off.”
Jennie locked eyes with Chan for a moment and saw it in his eyes that he wasn’t kidding and she wouldn’t win this. Her hold loosened, and then disappeared. She forced you to look her in the eyes as she sucked your blood off her fingers and smirked, wiping a bit of it on your cheek. 
“Don’t let me find you alone again, sweetheart.”
You ran to Bangchan’s side and hid in his coat. Even through all of the commotion, you were still a good few too many vodka shots deep and felt like you couldn’t stand. He wrapped his arms around you for a moment and breathed in. He let out a low, deep growl and stepped back from you. Digging in his pocket, he grumbled to you.
“We need to wrap your arm. Let me.”
He kneeled down and rested your arm on his shoulder, firstly wiping off the blood that had dropped out and around your wounds. He then did something you didn’t expect, he leaned forward and licked up your bicep, covering each mark with his tongue before moving on. It burned for a moment each time, but only bad enough for your grip on his shoulder to tighten. When he pulled back, the wounds were gone, replaced by thin white lines in the shape of crescent moons. 
“I guess I have some explaining to do..”
Bangchan was still sitting in front of you, one hand resting on your forearm and the other on your waist. He looked up at you and you could feel his burning gaze as you studied him. How? He hadn’t changed a single bit since the first memory you have of him from all those years ago. 
“So.. you’re a.. vampire?”
He sighed. It wasn’t that he didn’t expect your question, he just didn’t expect you to be so straightforward about it. 
“Yes. But not the dumb shit they put in your movies. We don’t turn into bats, we don’t sparkle. We can be in sunlight and eat garlic, we just have to moderate certain things. I know it’s a lot so don’t feel like you need to take it all in at once.”
Chan didn’t take a single breathe till you finally met eyes with him. Then, you started crying. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what he did to cause such a reaction. But you were drunk, and therefore emotional. 
“T-thank you for t-telling m-me, I’m s-so sorry you h-have to live like t-that.”
You threw yourself around him and cried. Chan was taken back, surprised your tears were due to his own possible situation. Sure, at first being a vampire and having to feed on humans blood and outliving everyone you meet kinda sucks, but it’s not the worst thing ever. You get used to it and years turn into days after some point. 
“Hey hey, it’s okay. It’s not really a bad thing I just move around a lot and live.. forever.. it’s really not a huge deal i hate for you to be so upset over me..”
You looked up at him with wet eyes and blinked. You wiped your face, and shivered. It was snowing, and your crop top and mini skirt weren’t fit for the winter outdoors. Chan noticed and immediately was wrapping his jacket around your shoulders. 
“You’re drunk, I take it (y/mom/n) wouldn’t be happy with you stumbling in at this hour blasted. I’ll shoot her a text and tell her i got you and you’re safe, okay? You’re safe with me y/n, you don’t have to worry.”
You weren’t in a position to argue, Your mother would have you by the throat if you walked in the door in your current position. 
“I-I trust you Bangchan. I have a question though.”
He grabbed your hand and turned your body towards him.
“Give me a moment to get us home and warmed up inside my place and i’ll tell you anything you’d like.”
He swooped you up into his arms, even though you weren’t 7 anymore, your frame still fit very snug against his. He towered over you by at least a foot and lifted and carried you around like it was nothing. Once he had his arms wrapped tightly around you, he took a moment to look at your face, how you’ve grown over the past few years he wasn’t guarding you for your mother. 
“Are you ready? You might want to tuck your head down, it’ll definitely be windy.”
He smiled at you and you returned the gesture before slipping your head between his chest and your own. The trip felt the same as you remembered from all those years ago, like a super windy rollercoaster. When he came to a stop, you lifted your head and realized you were on top of a building somewhere in the city. 
It was beautiful up here, you could see all the other rooftops that stretched out over the concrete jungle, you could see the city lights that decorated all the trees and city center for the upcoming christmas holiday. You stepped out of Chan’s grip and towards the edge of the roof. Looking down, you could see cars driving in all directions, blinkers and horns going off at every corner. 
Focusing in on where you heard the last car horn, you leaned forward a bit to hear people shouting. Trying to catch what they were saying, you bent down a bit and leaned farther out over the edge. You pushed a bit further forward and felt yourself start to tumble forward, losing your balance. 
In a split second Chan had launched himself over the edge of the building, caught you by the waist, and grabbed onto the ledge of the rooftop. 
“You’re still drunk, darling. You have to be careful.”
He pulled the two of you over and onto the roof, his grip never faltering. You also had a death grip on him, terrified of falling from this high. He carried you through a gate and over to a trapdoor. Setting you down on your feet, he twisted the handle and swung the door open to reveal a hole leading into what looked like a kitchen. 
“You can go first, I have to close this behind us. Don’t worry, the island sits right under this door so you should be able to reach it.”
You nodded and sat down, hanging your legs down into the room. Sliding forward, you put your hands on the edge and swung down into the hole.
“I-i can’t reach!”
Bangchan was at your side in a second, taking both of your hands from the ledge to hold in his own. He had a gentle but strong grip, careful not to let you fall, he lowered you until your feet touched down on the countertop. You stepped aside and let Chan slip down next to you. After closing the door, he hopped down and looked up at you. Reaching out a hand, he stepped towards you and grabbed your waist. Lifting you over his shoulder, he carried you into what you assumed to be his room. 
“Get some rest, you’re gonna feel like hell in the morning. I’ll be on the couch if you need anything.”
He flashed you a smile and tucked the blankets around you before heading out the door.
“Chan, wait! I w-wanted to say t-thank you for saving m-me tonight and s-sorry you’re stuck baby-*hiccup*- sitting my drunk ass..”
By the end of your sentence you were giggling, already half asleep. Chan admires your little laughs for a minute longer before taking his spot on the couch in the living room and falling asleep as well. 
You wake up wrapped in a thick, navy blue comforter. Taking in a deep breath, you paused for a minute. This... isn’t your room. This is very obviously a boys room, a suit hanging on the mirror and the wonderful smell of cologne being enough for you to figure that out. But... who’s? What happened last night? The last thing you could remember you were trying to find the bathroom at the party. 
Climbing out of the bed, you held the comforter wrapped around your body and stepped out of the room. The lights were on a red and blue setting, painting the walls in a calming aura. 
‘If there’s anyone else here they’re definitely asleep’ You thought to yourself. Waddling towards the back of the couch facing you at the end of the hallway, you tried to be quiet. Sprawled out on the couch was none other than the man who’s face wouldn’t leave your dreams. 
“My name is Christopher Bangchan, you can call me whatever you’d like doll.”
Everything about him was familiar and you knew exactly who’s house you had just woke up in. You reached forward and brushed some of his hair out of his eyes, causing him to snap them open and catch your wrist in a killer grip. You instantly flinched away from him and cowered back. Realizing who you were, he immediately released his grip and jumped over the couch to cradle you.
“I’m so sorry, i didn’t realize it was you, i didn’t expect you up this early.” 
He played with your hair and sat with you on the ground for a bit, calming you down from his unexpected attack. 
“C-Chan, I need a bathroom, im gonna throw up.”
Within seconds your hangover was hitting you full force, nausea and a splitting headache overtaking any fear you had left in the moment. He had carried you into the bathroom and set you down in his lap, facing the toilet. He pulled your hair out of your face and held it back as you emptied your stomach. Once you were finished, atleast for a moment, Bangchan ran to the kitchen to grab you a glass of water and some advil for your head. When he came back you were gagging again and he knew what was coming. Placing his hand in the small of your back, he rubbed soothing circles into your shirt while he held your hair with his other hand. 
Finally able to keep down the little water and medicine you took, Chan carried you from the bathroom into the living room, tossing you and his comforter on the couch. 
“Will you watch a movie with me?”
You looked at Chan with big doe eyes, begging him with your stare. He shook his head and laughed.
“Sure sicky, do you want food or anything?”
You scrunched your face up at his nickname and he laughed. Then, his phone rang. 
“Oh I-uh, I gotta take this hold on.”
He disappeared into the hallway and picked up the phone. You could immediately hear a woman’s voice screaming and Chan trying to calm her down. 
“BANGCHAN Y/N IS GONE SHES NOT IN HER ROOM BUT HER WINDOW IS OPEN DO YOU THINK SHE SNUCK OUT OR DO YOU THINK ONE OF THEM TOOK HER BANGCHAN WHAT DO I DO IF THEY TOOK HER SHES ALL I HAVE SHES NEVER SNUCK OUT BEFORE WHAT DO I-“
“Y/mom/n, She is here with me, safe. I found her out last night alone in the cold. She said her friends ditched her and she was just enjoying the snow. Don’t freak out, she stayed here and i slept on the couch. She might be sick from being out in that weather but other than that she is perfectly fine.”
Bangchan smirked to himself for coming up with such a believable excuse for you. Your mom on the other hand was still not happy, but Chan decided that could wait. 
“Listen, you can come get her if you want or you can leave her here, i’ve got an eye on her and if you’re worried about them getting her at your house she’s probably safer here anyway.” 
“Okay fine. I have to go to work so i guess she can stay with you. Don’t let her do anything stupid, and don’t let her do anything you would do!”
“Yeah yeah, have a good day at work y/mom/n.”
Chan clicked off the phone and walked back into his living room. There you were, sat on his couch looking up at him with fear evident in your gaze.
“W-was that my mom?”
Your lip quivered as you asked, your mind overwhelmed with everything you just heard. Who was trying to get you? Why was your mom so scared for you? 
“Yeah uh, I told her your friends ditched you so you took a walk and i found you. She doesn’t seem super pissed and i think you’re staying here, atleast for the day, so get comfortable.”
He flopped down on the loveseat across from you and flashed you a smile. 
“How do you know her so well? My mom, i mean.”
Chan let out a loud sigh before turning to look out his window. 
“It’s a long story really. I have a question for you before i start.”
You were too intrigued by his relationship with your mother to turn down this chance.
“Alright, shoot”
He raised his eyebrow at you and gave a little laugh. 
“Do you know what your mother is?”
Oh shit, that’s not what you expected. What does he mean ‘what she is’? She’s your mother, your human mother... right? 
“She’s uh, a human? Right?”
Bangchan shook his head and sighed again. 
“This isn’t my place to tell you but seeing your mother hasn’t yet, and your time is coming, I don’t really have a choice. Your mother and I are vampires, we started out in the same village around the 1800’s. Which, inherently, makes you atleast half vampire. I wish I could tell you I knew your father but I never got to meet him. Your mother is very secretive about many aspects of her life and I’ve learned to just accept that. Anyway, when our whole village was slaughtered by hunters we made it out with a few others. After a couple hundred years people get tired of each other, but your mom and i have always stuck together. She’s like my sister, we might not be blood related but she’s all the family i’ve got. You too, sicky.”
He leaned forward and ruffled your hair with his last sentence. You would’ve stuck your tongue out or done something but what he said stuck out vividly in your mind. 
“What do you mean...my ‘time is coming’?”
He hadn’t realized he had let that part slip, it’s not his place to explain this to you. 
“Uh, I-uh.. Give me a minute and i’ll tell you, swear.”
With that, he was out of his seat and taking off down the hallway again. Whoever he was talking to was speaking in a whisper, as was he. You leaned in to hear as much as possible.
“-I didn’t mean to! It slipped out!”
“I can’t go back on it now, i swore i’d tell her!”
“Listen, you knew this was coming up, why didn’t you tell her?”
“Well it’s too late for all that now, I’ve got to tell her and you’ll just have to explain when you get here.”
You could only hear Bangchan’s half of the conversation but it made enough sense. He was obviously talking to your mother again, apparently about some big secret she was supposed to tell you and never did. When he came back to the living room you tried to look casual, picking at your nails with your head down. 
“Okay y/n. I need you to listen and i need you to listen well, alright?”
Chan had bent down in front of you and grabbed your hands, stopping you from fidgeting any longer and forcing you to look up at him. 
“Alright” 
“I don’t have all the information, there’s still a lot your mother won’t tell even me. But to be blunt, your father was the last of a royal bloodline among vampires. He had unfinished business when he.. left us.. and you, being his only descendant, are now to be held responsible.”
You nodded, urging him to continue.
“But the real problem is your blood. When your fathers DNA crossed with your mothers it created something special. There’s something about you that draws us in. You smells sweet, like candy, and it’s strong, almost impossible to ignore when you’re around. Whoever was after your father is using your scent to get to close to you and your mother and I have been protecting you for years. There’s a catch though;”
He paused and locked your gaze to his.
“You. Because your parents were both vampires, you too will turn. Once you reach your prime, which is different for everyone but females generally mature during their early adulthood, you will become a full blood vampire. After that you’ll be much safer, your blood is useless to a vampire once you’ve turned, but until then we have to keep you protected.”
Chan took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat, looking up to the ceiling. You sat there in shock, staring at him with your jaw dropped. 
“Wait, wait, wait. So the ass who left me and mom alone, also left me screwed with all of his problems? Is he dead? We should kill him. People are trying to kill me? Because of shit he did? Oh, no. Let’s kill him.”
Bangchan was surprised by your reaction to say the least. Amused, almost. He shook his head and let out a sigh, running his hands through his pale blonde hair.
“We don’t know where he is y/n, he could be alive somewhere in hiding or he could be dead, but no one has seen him in 16 years. He disappeared off the face of the planet the same night he left your mother, and no one has been able to track him since.”
You leaned back into the cushions and pondered this for a moment.
“Ahh, I probably wouldn’t be able to kill my own father anyway. Moral dilemma or whatever I think.”
Chan laughed at you and turned towards the START screen on the TV. Snuggling into the comforter from his bed, you focused on the opening credits of the movie you picked out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After everything that happened following the party, your mom explained quite little compared to what Chan said. She also forbid your from hanging out with Chan until you were fully turned. She said she ‘can’t trust anyone around your blood,’ which shocked both you and him. 
You wouldn’t see Bangchan for a couple years after that. Once you graduated high school, your mom recommended you go to a college outside of the city so it’d be harder for them to find you. So, here you were, 20, in a new city 2 hours from your home, living alone and going to classes with your head down. You made a few friends, a guy in your history class who always asked to borrow your pencil had finally gotten your number, and the girl assigned as your lab partner in biology was really sweet, and you’re starting to think this new beginning will be good for you.
It seemed that was only the calm before the storm though, because two weeks into the semester you were no where to be seen in any of your classes. Lilah, from biology, tried calling you the first two times you missed and she was beginning to worry. On your third absence, she decided, as a friend, it’d be nice to at least come check on you. When she reached your hall though, there was a man, black hair and pale skin, banging on your door. 
“Yah! What’re you doing?”
Lilah wasn’t sure what her plan was but she needed to get in that room and he was in her way.
“My friend hasn’t been to class in days! I’m worried about her, she hasn’t texted or called me back since Friday! And she won’t answer the door either!”
He yelled the last part, banging on the door with each word. Lilah shook her head and pushed him out of the way. When she reached your door, she knew why you’d been in isolation. She could smell it.
“Listen dude, I don’t know who you are or what you know but you should probably let me handle this and I’ll tell y/n to call you when she’s feeling better.”
She spoke in almost a growl, trying to scare off the poor human boy from witnessing you in your current state. He stubbornly shook his head and stomped his foot, proving to her he wasn’t going anywhere until he was sure you were okay.
“Fine. At least wait until I come out and get you, give her a chance to get it together.”
She was already on her knees, face to face with the doorknob into your apartment. Slipping a bobby pin out of her hair, she bent it around a bit and wiggled it into the keyhole. Fidgeting around a bit, she felt it click and the knob turned, allowing the door to creak open slightly. Lilah turned to the boy before she entered.
“Stay out here.”
Upon entering your apartment Lilah confirmed her suspicions. Your clothes were strewn everywhere and the smell of your blood was painted along the room, sickeningly sweet. She walked towards the cracked door across the living room, already spotting the blood on the door. She slid it open enough for her to enter and stepped inside. There you were, balled up in the fetal position, naked, at the head of your bed. The sheets and curtains were stained red and your hair had taken on a strawberry hue. 
“Oh darling, why didn’t you tell someone you were transitioning? We need to get you cleaned up and fed, soon.”
She had made her way to the bedside and was brushing a strand of your hair out of your face. You looked at her with bright red eyes, shaking and teeth chattering. She grabbed your hand and led you into the bathroom, running a shower for you. Once you were settled inside, she began wiping blood off of as many surfaces as possible. 
‘It must have been horrible to have to turn alone.’ She thought. The first transition of a maturing vampire is a brutal one, your body expelling its mortal aspects. Blood no longer circulated through your veins but splattered everywhere around your apartment bedroom.  Shaking her head, she starts for your front door. 
“Alright kid, she’s in the shower and she needs a bit before she’s ready to see anyone, especially some boy. What’s your name? I’ll have her text you when she gets out and is ready to see you.”
The boy standing patiently outside your apartment didn’t like that at all, he was your friend too and he felt the need to see you to believe you were okay. 
“I’m Jungkook, and I’ll wait out here as long as I have to, I want to see her before I just take your word.”
He would never admit it, but Jungkook had grown a bit of a crush on you during your time together in class. He loved the way your hair bounced when you laughed and the way your eyes lit up every time he asked you a question. So yeah, here he was on a Wednesday afternoon, sitting outside your apartment because you missed another day of class.
“Whatever lover boy, just don’t barge in uninvited.”
Lilah flashed Jungkook a glare before returning to your apartment and locking the door behind her. She had been through the transition herself, getting stuck at the age 19 forever she decided to explore all the colleges and pick her favorite. So, she knew how to clean up vast amounts of blood. She also knew you needed to eat.
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sonofadeanwinchester · 7 years ago
Text
Little Ray of Sunshine (14)
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13
Summary: You’re a PA on the set of Infinity War, best friends with Scarlet and Lizzie. But when someone reveals feelings for you, everything changes.
Sebastian Stan x Reader; Chris Evans x Reader; Scar Jo x reader; Lizzie Olsen x Reader
Words: 2164
Warnings: swearing; sex talk; kinda smutty? maybe?
A/N: This story’s plot is fully dedicated to the beautiful @mrs-meghan-winchester! Hope it’s everything you wanted ;) TAG LIST IS OPEN
Tags: @221bshrlocked @marvelouslyme96 @shellymaesworld @titty-teetee @pawallday @chameerah @buckylicious @nerdywitch @teresaoliva20 @guera31 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @ssweet-empowerment @jhangelface0523 @sarahp879 @parkerrpeterr @bxxbxy @mrs-meghan-winchester  @yknott81 @thejemersoninferno @yeahbutmarvel @kaleidoscopez96   angelsofalliteration @badsongwinchester @londonalozzy @lexxxxxxx98  @scarlett-nutshello @beccavesper
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“Things seem to be going well with you and Seb.” Scar asks me as she sits in the make-up chair for her day of re-shoots.
I nod, my face flushing. “Yeah.”
Scarlet winks. “You’re avoiding something. You wanna talk about it?”
I sigh. “Two nights ago, I woke up in a heave of sweat, my hands fisted into the bedsheets. I had a sex dream about Sebastian, the fifth since we’ve started dating, and I couldn’t shake it. I went out to the living room, paced the floor a little bit.”
Scarlet was leaning out of her chair, the artist rolling his eyes. “Sorry, Jack.” She leans back and he smiles. “Continue.”
I chew my lip. “My head was against the window when Sebastian came from the bedroom, wrapped in these fucking tight black boxers and nothing else.”
Scarlet winks. “He’s got a good figure.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t remind me.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t know if you wanna know the rest, Scar.”
Jack, the make-up artist, laughs. “If she doesn’t then I’ll keep listening.”
I roll my eyes. Normally, people would be offended that someone they didn’t know was listening to an intimate story, but I’ve been around Jack for a few months now and he was as obsessed with Sebastian as you were but in a non-sexual way. “Right.” I clear my throat. “We talked for a bit and then he came up behind me, running his fingers down my sweaty arms, whispering how he heard me moaning in my sleep.”
“Hot damn.” Jack rolls his eyes and fans himself.
“I try and deflect the statement but he’s a light sleeper so obviously he’s gonna hear me. Anyway, he then states that whoever I had the sex dream about obviously knew exactly what they were doing. So, of course in my lustful state, I get bold. I tell him that it could’ve been better.”
Scarlet laughs, shaking her head lightly. “God, he must’ve flipped.”
I chew my lip, running my sweaty hands over my jeans. It shouldn’t be so hard to talk about virginity and whatever, especially with your best friend. “Well, I don’t have anything to compare it to.”
Scarlet’s face furrows and then she smiles. “I’m glad you’re saving yourself.”
I smile. “Thank you.” Jack winks and I continue. “So, he says that I’ve got nothing to compare it to and then I say nothing but my fantasies.”
“Jesus Christ.” Jack laughs, dropping the blending brush to sit beside me. “Scar, you’re gonna have to wait. I need to hear this.”
Scar nods. “No worries, Jack. (y/n), continue.”
I sigh. “He asks me what fantasies and, well, they’re unusual so I don’t want him to judge me so I just say the normal fantasy, you know, librarian or a fucking school girl thing. But then he leans in close, whispering. ‘Did I make you feel good?’ As if he already knew it was him.”
Scarlet’s eyes grow wide. Just then the door swung open and Lizzie followed by Chris comes into the trailer. I drop my eyes, flush covering my face. Lizzie’s eyes grow big. “Sorry, are we interrupting something.”
“Actually, I was just tel-”
“(y/n), was telling Jack and I an encounter she had with her lover, Sebastian, from the other night.”
Chris comes to my side. “Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head but Jack pipes up. “Not yet.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
I pat the seat beside me and he sits. “Chris, if I tell you this story, you can’t let it leave this trailer.”
He nods. “Uh, okay.”
I sigh as Lizzie leans against the chair Chris has sat in and I continue my story. “So after I say what makes it think it’s him, he gets even bolder saying he’s the only one that could ever please me the way I deserve.”
Chris shakes his head, rubbing his face. “Okay, I’m lost. What’s this story about?”
Scarlet rolls her eyes. “(y/n) had a sex dream about Sebastian the other night and he found her all hot and heavy in the living room. He confronted her about it and things got super steamy.”
Chris nods slowly. “Right. Do I wanna hear the rest of this story?”
I shrug. “Stay or leave, your choice.”
He sighs. “Go ahead, I guess. Jack, can you fix my dirt while she’s talking?”
Jack raises a brow. “Mr. Evans, I’m invested in this story as much as Ms. Johansson is.”
Chris rolls his eyes, leaning so his back was flat against the wall, pushing the hat on his head to cover his eyes. “Continue.”
“So then I told him that it’s too bad I have to break his heart because my sex dream was actually about John Travolta.”
Lizzie laughs, throwing her hair back. “Wait, young Grease John or Hairspray John?”
“Is that even a question?” Jack speaks. “Obviously Grease. Danny Zuko is a fucking GOD.”
I clear my throat again. “He’s a little taken back by this so I add that sometimes it’s with Alexander Skarsgard.”
“And deservingly so.” Jack mumbles.
“Could you stop talking, Jack, please?” Scarlet looks at him, irritation on her face. He nods. “Thank you.”
“Anyway, long story short, I told him that sometimes he’s there with us and then other times it’s just him fucking my brains out.”
Chris sat up, shaking his head in disbelief. “You said that to him?” I nod. “Well, sunshine, you ain’t so innocent after all, are you?”
I shrug, a blush filling my cheeks. “So after I tell him that, he steps closer to me, runs his hand down my arm to grab my palm and pushes it against his dick, which is by the way, hard as a fucking rock.”
“Jesus, I’d imagine! Girl, you got him so bad.” Scarlet laughs.
I nod. “And then he’s like ‘see what you do to me’.”
“Oh my god. He’s an actual sex god.” Jack fans himself. “You’re one lucky girl.”
Chris looks at Jack and smirks. “You’ll find your sex god someday Jacko.”
Jack winks. “Is that an invitation?”
Chris shakes his head. “Not right now.”
“So, I laugh and say that I’m glad I have some kind of effect on him. And he comes back saying that it’s taking every bit of strength in him not to take me right there and then.”
“God, the sexual tension is unbearable. Did you finally do it?”
I shake my head. “No.” Lizzie’s face drops. “I told him how I feel about that and he respects it.”
“That’s it?” Chris is listening intensely now?
I shake my head. “I asked him to teach me.”
“Teach you? What, like mathematics or Romanian.” Lizzie cocks a brow.
Scar clucks her tongue. “You’re a naughty girl, little.”
Chris chews his lip. “Sebastian’s in over his head with you.”
I shrug, smirking. “Then he says lucky for me class in session.”
“Oh my god.” Scar stands up and fans herself. “You guys went from playful friends to a full plot of a fucking porn.”
Chris laughs. “You watch porn?”
“A girl has needs, Christopher.”
He puts his hands up in a defensive manner. “Good to know.”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “So, now there’s that.”
Chris shrugs. “So, when’s your first lesson?”
I look from face to face and my stomach drops. I just realized I’m actually gonna have to go through with this. In the middle of a sexy second, I asked him to teach me. “Uh, I don’t know.”
A knock on the door breaks our thoughts and the door swings open. Sebastian’s face peeks through and he smirks. “Full house.” His eyes land on me and they darken with lust. “Hi.”
I smile, my face growing scarlet red. “Hi.”
Chris clears his throat. “You weren’t scheduled till an hour.”
He nods. “I know. I’m here looking for (y/n). Can I talk to you for a second?”
I nod, standing to my feet. “Give me a second.”
He smiles, walking back down the steps. “Scarlet, I’m terrified.”
She shakes her head. “No need, love. He’s a great guy and it’s not like he’s gonna teach you how to suck him off right here in the parking lot.”
Chris laughs, running a hand over his beard. “Seb’s a kinky guy. He might actually wanna do that.”
“Jesus, Chris. Don’t scare the girl.” Lizzie slaps his shoulder.
Chris stands to his feet and envelopes me in a hug. “Don’t worry about it, sunshine. He’s a good guy. He won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“I’m not comfortable with anything.”
Lizzie winks. “Yet.”
Jack stands, leaning Scarlet back into her seat. “Right, well, you go so I can do my job and maybe talk Chris into a drink later.”
Chris stands to his feet. “I would but I’m a taken man. Maybe ask Reggie in design?” Jack’s pierced brows raise and he winks.
I wave my goodbyes as I find Sebastian standing beside the trailer, his pockets in his hands. His eyes are closed and he’s enjoying the sunshine on his face. “Hey.”
A smile spreads across his lips before his eyes pop open. “Hello.”
I chew my lip as my wanders back to my dream and the other night. “I missed you.”
I smile. “I missed you too.”
He smirks. “You okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Sebastian sighs. “If this is about the other night, and I really hope it’s not, but if it is. Then I won’t pressure you into something you don’t wanna do.”
I chew my lip, running my hand down his clothed chest. “I do. Just don’t make me do it here in the parking lot.”
“While we’re on the topic, you wanna reveal those fantasies you have?”
I shrug, kissing his neck. His eyes closed and he moans lightly. “What do you think they are?”
He rolls his eyes as I pull away. “Well, if you’re anything like those people on Tumblr and have a thing for Bucky’s metal arm..” He smiles.
I shrug. “I’m not so much into Bucky as I am his actor. That’s one sexy man.”
He scoffs, his cheeks turning rosy. “Well, I’ll be sure to tell him.” He grabs my hand and pulls me behind two trailers, leaning me against the wall. He plants his arms on either side of my head, cocking his head to the side. “I always took you as a hair-pulling kind girl.”
I sigh, my knees going weak. “Well, I mean, it sounds interesting.” I grab his hand, running it through my hair. He makes a fist and pulls, my knees going weak again, my heart threatening to pump out of my chest. Without realizing it, I let a moan leave my lips.
He smirks. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
I roll my eyes. “What do you like to do?”
He laughs. “We’ll get to that, love. First, we need to find out what you like.”
I shrug. “Obviously hair pulling.” He sucks his lips between his teeth and sighs. “I love the touching.”
“Touching?”
I nod. “Just the little things you do, like run your hands over my legs or arms. Or when you pin me against the wall when you’re kissing me. How your hands roam my body and feel their way through my hair.”
He groans, I look down and a buldge grows between his legs. “Baby-”
I shrug, looking around to see if anyone is watching. “The first lesson, teach me.” I reach my hand forward, palming his crotch. His eyes flutter closed and his breath hitches.
“I-I.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t think you need any lesson on this.” I roll it around in my hand, adding pressure here and there.
I smile. “Chris mentioned you’re a kinky guy.”
“Jesus.” He sighs, leaning into my hand. “Chris said-” he swallows. “Said what?”
I smirk, kissing his neck as I keep up my ministrations. “Said you were kinky. Like you’d love it if I sucked you off in the parking lot.”
His movements freeze and his blue eyes pop. “Uh-” He’s speechless as he searches my eyes.
I shrug, leaning against the wall. “That’s a lesson for another day, maybe?”
He nods quickly and removes my hand. “I can take care of this.”
I sigh. “Good because I got stuff to do.”
He chews his lip and leans in to kiss my lips. “Fuck, you’re too much.” I make a face. “But in the best way possible.” He fixes his jeans and takes my hand. “Let’s go.”
We round the corner and find the team standing beside the door. Chris’s face is flushed, Scarlet’s eyes are wide and Lizzie stands there a smirk on her face. Chris chuckles. “Next time, maybe go someplace where the windows aren’t open and people can hear you.”
Sebastian’s face reddens and I laugh. “That’s part of the fun though, isn’t it?”
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captainderyn · 7 years ago
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all the otp questions for whoever you want c:
Thank you for the ask @therron-shan! I’ll do Tucdela and Cullen for this one, as I never really talk about them or do asks for them.
Who snuggles into the other’s neck before kissing them on the cheek?
Funnily enough it’s Cullen who will do this most often…except that’s a lot of work because he’s got a good head of height on Tucdela so it usually only works if she comes over to him when he’s sitting or something. Or he’ll just bend down and nuzzle his girlfriend/eventually wife its whatever. 
Who puts on the other’s clothes and playfully pretends to be them?
Lol Tucdela does. She’s steal his mantle fur thing all the time and walk around the battlements around his office/room when there aren’t a ton of people around “giving orders” to the “troops”. She did it once to the actual troops and everyone got a kick out of it. She’ll actually stole bits of his armor for it, so she was waddling around in quite heavy, quite big armor. Who starts to sing in the shower and who joins in singing outside of the bathroom?
I was going to say Tucdela but then I remembered the blessed audio clip somewhere on this blog of Cullen’s solo voice in the Dawn Will Come and I have to say Cullen is the one who will sing. Maybe not belting out the latest ballad, but you know…quietly humming/singing something. And Tucdela will join in if she hears and knows what it is. Or she’ll substitute in something elvish that’s easier for her and similar in tone. Who likes it when the other cups their cheek in their hand?
Tucdela finds a lot of comfort in that soft physical touch, so I think it’s her. Though they probably both find a lot of grounding in that sort of motion if I’m being honest. Tucdela loves it when Cullen just softly cups her cheek and runs his thumb lightly over the vallaslin under her eye, it’s such a calming thing for her. How do they emotionally support each other?
By being there for the other no matter what. By not necessarily needing to speak or full the pain with “it’s going to be okay”. They’re both too pragmatic (or pessimistic I guess) for that. But they’ll always find ways to make the other smile and laugh, or even just be there to hold the other close and let them rant or cry.  Where do they go to get away from everyone?
When they can’t get away to that special lake in Fereldan that they went to in game they go out on short rides a lot, taking the horses out on back paths that they’ve found and no one else really knows. There’s a outlook in the mountains they can stop at and see all around and it’s beautiful. What would happen if they had to babysit a child for the day?
Tucdela wouldn’t want to give the child back lmao. Um, well there’s a high chance that Tucdela would have to go attend to Inquisitor esc duties so if it’s a young, young child then Cullen probably ends up with it and doesn’t really know what to do. Part of me is laughing at the idea of him somehow like making a Dragon Age version of those backpacks/pouches you see people carrying their kids around in and going out to instruct his soldiers with this little kid being carted around, pulling at the fur of his mantle. 
If they were taking care of the kid together then I think it’d be a lot of Tucdela cooing over the kid and being in love but then them both having no idea what to do when they run into an issue. Let the improvising and asking around ensue. Suddenly there are jokes being made such as “awww look how cute her Inquisitorialness and the Commander would be as parents” and the like. 
(Jokes on them Tucdela would love to be a mother but given the whole situation of the world right now that might not be possible for her rn)
What is one experience that they had together that they will never forget?
After the attack on Haven, after Tucdela had been found in the snow and Cullen had carried her to their camp and after she had woken up, he brought her out to the horses that they had managed to rescue. Her big warmblood, Spook was one of them and he’ll never forget the way that lingering pain, exhaustion and worry completely disappeared from her face, or the happiness in her eyes when she had looked at him and thanked him for saving her horse. Likewise, she’ll never forget the warmth in his eyes when she caught him watching her hug said large warmblood like a beloved friend.Who puts their cold hands on the other person to get warm?
They both run warm but Cullen usually has more layers on and it’s easier for Tucdela to run up to him at any point in time and warm her hands up. But Cullen will do it too, especially if he’s coming in from training the troops while she’s been working in her rooms with the hearth blazing–he’ll just walk over and try and steal her body heat lmao. Who gets really lovey-dovey when there is a snow storm outside?
99% of the time Cullen is trying to work and Tucdela is trying to either a) get him to go outside into it with her or b) doing everything in her power to get him to curl up under the blankets with her and snuggle because it’s “cold” (fireplace going notwithstanding, of course)
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blookmallow · 7 years ago
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goD WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
im gonna do... multiple smaller posts instead of One Massive One bc i keep. ending up with. a lot. its. its so much. everything is so much 
this one is a Lot of words bc im theorizing everywhere and had way too much to say i am sorry 
(horror / spoilers / Disturbing Shit ahead this one’s pretty tame tho) (i mean im guessing no one’s reading these if u dont already know what happens anyway but)
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i was legitimately half worried monika wouldn’t LET me quit the game the last time i closed it. and half concerned she’d be sitting there staring blankly waiting for me when i opened it again
this is such good fuckign EFFECTIVE HORROR i am legitimately scared of what monika’s gonna do lmao
ive never seen anything do this quite this way except like. undertale with flowey and sans but that felt. different
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well my “new game” button is back but i REALLY DOUBT i can actually use it 
i didnt try, though
also i dont...remember what the opening screen looked like before so i cant remember if monika was always there or not but im just. noticing how she’s the closest one to you. and is reaching out to you like she wants to pull you in 
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yuri’s getting REALLY obsessed with me :’ ) help, 
i can’t tell if. the game is structured specifically to make you inclined to try to date yuri in the “this is a Normal Dating Sim :) about Cute Girls :) and Nothing Else” bit of the intro or if my decisions just really smoothly fit into this narrative 
bc like. i was intentionally doing things meant to get closer to yuri bc i liked her the most (honestly i still do lmao. my wife) and it really, really quickly escalated to “YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT” “why are you doing so many things for yuri...” “you should have talked to monika” “you should have paid attention to sayori” “look at what you’ve done” “you want her to like you, huh. are you sure. are you really sure” “she’ll like you, alright. she likes you so much she wants to spend every moment with you. every. waking. moment. she likes you so much she would do anything for you. she likes you so much she would bleed for you” 
and like. i haven’t had many options so im not sure how much control i ever had in the first place but. did i cause this?? would it have been a different “she’s latched onto you for some reason and you can’t do SHIT about it, whoever you wanted before, she won’t LET YOU” narrative instead if i hadn’t been encouraging her in the first place? 
im not actually asking for answers rn im just Wondering. would love to discuss it after i finish/replay if monika fuCKING LETS ME :’) 
 i do know the game would not let me choose sayori when i was asked who i wanted to work with, i clicked hers and monika was like “oohh actually she’s working with me, so” 
so like. it seems likely that the game might have actually forced you into working with yuri, some other excuse would come up if you clicked the other options until you hAD to choose her, but. seeing as i shrugged it off and clicked yuri voluntarily after that i dont actually know 
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oh
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i thought “your pen” was a typo or something but it......it Was Not 
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yo u can have the pen, yuri, i dont want it anymore 
yuri seems to have...a really. particular obsession with like. exchange/touching/You Becoming Part Of Me/etc i cant think of a word for it but like 
the “intimate exchange” of reading together and turning pages together, feeding her chocolate, taking my pen and falling into a writing frenzy at the euphoria of Writing With Something That Belongs To You/her intense excitement/arousal over touching The Words That I Wrote/me touching her words, im guessing if she is actually cannibalistic/vampiric that’s probably it too, Consuming Something Of You So You’ll Be Part Of Me Too or vice versa. she very much seems like the kind of person who would cut herself to bleed into something and get you to unknowingly eat her blood for some kind of thrill 
im legitimately really impressed with the way this is turning out, i thought it seemed overly.....hitting you in the head with doublemeanings/being really bland and generic at first and was really hoping it’d pay off and turn out to have a shitload more going on under the surface beyond just “it’s a cute dating sim but then it gets Fucked Up” and!!! it is!!!!
it was COMPLETELY ON PURPOSE 
literally everything feels like it means something else entirely/It’s All Connected/etc way more than “you know, sometimes when things like this happen it’s foreshadowing something BAD might happen.....wink wink....nudge.....:)”  
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oh. fuck
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ok actually, valid 
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oh. thank you for.....being so. up front about it, i guess :’) 
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i figured,
:’) 
looks like my. interpretations have been pretty spot on so far 
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y ea h actually i think we can agree on that one 
for her own good and mine :’) 
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i really, really don’t think monika is okay 
it feels like she’s... some kind of. Always Watching You mastermind figure manipulating the environment / removing files (memories, save data, ENTIRE CHARACTERS, ) / basically fucking with anything she doesn’t like but she also seems to be.... trapped? 
she’s fucking everything up but she also seems to be trying to Fix Things even if she’s. selfish and what’s Correct according to her is. highly suspect, it. does seem like she’s. way more. self aware. and wants to get out.
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im still terrified of her dONT GET ME WRONG but. i also wanna hear her out 
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hhhoooo here we go again
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maybe... sayori’s depression Wasn’t Supposed To Be Revealed (according to... what? the in-game script? some omnipotent Creator/Destiny force? monika?) and. monika either. realized “this is going off the scripted path, the game is gonna get fucked up if they keep going this way so Sayori Needs To Go Away” so she. convinced her to kill herself and then erased her from the files / from everyone’s memory, or she like. fucked up sayori’s programming so she Couldn’t feel happy/the Happy Ending path that was scripted in for her was corrupted and unplayable in the hopes that once she was glitched out of the picture you’d go for monika instead, maybe she planned to do this to everyone if she had to 
and i dunno if this is. Intentional or if it was just my personal perception but monika seemed like the least interesting character at first, i paid no fucking attention to her and didnt even really question “hey why doesn’t she have a chibi sprite on this screen” or anything all that much, so her suddenly arising as the Rogue Character fucking the game up was. a really good move bc i didnt even pay attention to her at all until she FORCED me to 
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i also really like the subtle lines like this, they stand out NOW but at first i didnt even really notice them, like, this sounds like “we kinda pushed you into this club didn’t we there wasn’t really much room for you to say no” but it also means “you literally did not have a choice, that script path option was never available to you, Not Joining was absolutely not a possibility” and monika KNOWS that 
like i definitely noticed her breaking the fourth wall in the beginning but i thought it was just like. cute/funny like pinkie pie does or w/e so im REALLY digging the “aaannnd suddenly it hits you like a ton of bricks that it was IN NO WAY A JOKE” twist here 
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janiedean · 7 years ago
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Do you have any theories about how ASoIaF will end? Like, who do you think will die and how, what will happen to Jon (seriously, I've read anything from "he's tots gonna marry Dany and they'll have kids and rule together forever" to "he'll die in a Heroic Sacrifice to Save Everyone" to "after all the shit he went through he's just gonna be like, 'fuck everything and everyone, Imma go wander beyond the Wall for the rest of my life!"), stuff like that?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH I JUST REPLIED TO SOMEONE IN PRIVATE OVER THAT I’m gonna c/p the jon and dany related parts and then add the rest, call me back in ten years to see if I’m right
SO, EXPLANATION OF THE MY EXTREMELY UNPOPULAR THEORY RE JON AND DANY:
- at the end of adwd dany's back where she came from and hasn't even met tyrion so everything that happened in the show BEFORE drogon flew her off should happen AFTER she's back in mereen- which puts her arriving in westeros WAY after the time she's in the show now- also the fact that in the book there's aegon prancing around dragonstone along with jon connington and the likes suggests me that IF no one dies before she has to deal with them first while shit goes down in the north and possibly grayscale spreads and blah blah blah
also, jon has to come back to life and I'm betting moneyt it's not as easy as in the show, grrm has to tie up the sansa plot and it's gonna take a lot longer because sansa is not in the north currently so it's gonna take ALL of wow for the starks to get back to winterfell IF they do get back to winterfell in wow and for people to find out jon was robb's legitimate heir and so on 
first conclusion: there's no way jon and dany even meet before either the very end of wow or actually ados and by that time the zombies should be WAY too much of a menace for them to be worrying about bending the knee and shit
taken the first conclusion into account and that ados should be all about defeating the others with whoever has survived banding together and that the only surviving copy of robb's will is currently with howland reed who is GOING to have to show up soon, r+l=j should be a known thing BEFORE jon and dany meet or anyway it'd happen soon after so I honestly don't know if it's likely that they'd hook up in canon or if it wouldn't be MASSIVELY weird if they do, but anyway I could be wrong on that bc the text evidence for those two sort of hooking up is actually there even if I don't particularly agree with it, but NEVER MIND
anyway at this point they're obv gonna do away with the zombies which is gonna cause even more casualties and shit which is not gonna make anyone any happier, jon's gonna have to pull his azor ahai stint because it's him and whatever (AND HE SURVIVES IT), I'm 99% sure that in between all of this aegon and jonc AT LEAST are gonna die and it's not going to be just them, anyway at the end they're gonna be left with a post-apocalypse westeros where most of the people who wanted the throne out of I NEED TO HAVE IT BECAUSE POWER or I HAVE RIGHTS ON IT (ie stannis if he survives which I doubt) will have lost most of the interest/force of will
THIS STATED, unpopular jon theory: the thing about his storyline is that he's going through all the typical secret chosen hero steps but every time anything happens it goes badly/it's not what he wants (he loses his family, his first true love dies, he becomes LC and instead of going well he gets stabbed etc) and what did he want at the beginning of the books? to not be a bastard. where is he now? ops, your father was rhaegar targaryen and your mom was lyanna stark OOOOPS. which is *not* what he wanted, he wanted to be a *stark*. but furthermore, idk if it's likely that R married lyanna before leaving her in the tower of joy or not, but if he did he's actually legitimate and has the best claim since he's male and legit son of the legit male heir, and who's gonna want that job? no one. so who is going to have to take it? yeah, HIM. and he's going to... dislike about every moment of it at least in the beginning (MORE ON THIS AFTER THE DANY PART)
now, on to dany: in that scenario they COULD get married and united the dynasties again, but... they'd know about the incest part of it and idk if he'd go for it, but honestly, the thing with dany is also that she started wanting to go to westeros, and what's most actually ironic/backwards if she finds out that after the zombies, meereen and basically getting shit all the way through she actually doesn't even *want* it? I mean the thing is, dany imo (in the books) seemed more at ease/happiest/filling out a role she seemed cut for when she was a *khaleesi*, not when she was ruling, and for a khaleesi she was a++++ because she was very forward thinking, did away with most of the worse stuff in her khalasar and was actually doing some seriously nice enlightened sort of revolution differently from how it went in mereen, so like... my eventual endgame theory is that she goes back to essos to actually be the enlightened full-time khaleesi that essos deserves and making good use of what she learned while jon picks the pieces up in westeros and comes to term with being the only fantasy hero in existence who didn't want to be king at all and ended up there anyway and has to make it work
ALSO: my pet sorta wishful thinking theory re jon is that given that westeros will be a post-apocalypse mess in shambles with most previously powerful lords being either dead or done for and with a complete new system and in which most people will have been through too many wars, zombies and so on to give a fuck, jon could actually rule as *jon snow* rather than jon targaryen or stark (which imo is the name he’d take for himself if he had to choose) without getting married and continuing the dynasty and then after he dies after fixing what he could and putting things on the right way, the seven kingdoms secede, the throne gets destroyed (if jon doesn’t do it before) and they go back to being independent. like, I’m very much aware that it’s not very likely but idk IT MAKES SENSE TO ME THEMATICALLY OKAY? *shrug*
other characters and the likes:
people who are absolutely toast: cersei, the boltons, euron/victarion, lady stoneheart, the elder clegane and someone in dany’s retinue are goners, same as (SADLY FOR ME) aegon/jonc. jonc is definitely dying of grayscale unless what happens in the show with sam and jorah happens to him but I highly doubt that, aegon’s dying while going against the others or anyway after they all join up with dany and then someone else (possibly tyrion since grrm said that not all of the heads of the dragon have to be targ) takes his place. anyway, both goners. very sadly for me. tommen is also a dead man walking, either how it happened in the show or some other way but nope. myrcella might be but I’d like to think being in dorne and grrm not wanting to kill everybody in dorne because BUDGET might be her ticket to salvation, but I’m on the fence. hodor is also sadly dying most probably because the way they did in the show was too clever and well-done to be out of d&d’s imagination. at this point shireen is also most probably dying tho NOT HOW IT HAPPENED IN THE SHOW DAMN IT. stoneheart is dying because brienne kills her to save jaime and she becomes her aerys THIS IS MY PET THEORY OF THEORIES GRRM WILL HAVE TO PRY IT AWAY FROM ME. lf is definitely dying either thrown out of the moon door or some other way but he’s toast. also most freys are 100% toast.
people I’m definitely on the fence about: stannis - I’m sort of thinking he might die but I’m not 100% sure and anyway if he does it won’t be like in the bloody show, jaime (I thought he was kinda headed for the heroic death in the beginning but now I’m starting to think he has some chances of pulling through I really hope he does tbh), meera, the decent people at the wall (I mean some are gonna die when the zombies inevitably pass but I hope they don’t), jorah (not enough elements to decide sorry), blackfish & jeyne poole (same as above), sand snakes.
meanwhile, main people I’m definitely sure are living + their endgames for the ones I have endgames for:
the living starks are staying alive. sansa eventually ends up as rickon’s regent and bran is going to have some luke skywalker moment where he has to decide if he wants to go darkside or not and then obviously decides not to, but eventually renounces being the three-eyed raven the way the previous one had and rejoins the living. arya stays in WF or goes with jon to KL when he inevitably does - could be in his kingsguard or she can stay in WF and help sansa out. (on the fence re gendr/ya happening - might be, might not.) sandor ends up as sansa’s sworn shield at least.
brienne definitely makes out of it alive after fighting the white walkers at the wall with everyone else who had managed to get there. if jaime hasn’t died in front of her while fighting the white walkers (if he dies that’s how I see him going, and anyway they totally will have hooked up before I 100% believe that) they’re going back to tarth together, if not she goes there alone and proceeds to be the awesome person she is. (I said bitter*sweet* before right? I think she has a good shot at the sweet part.)
arianne gets her throne in dorne ofc
tyrion gets casterly rock while tywin rolls in his grave because I doubt he’d go to essos with dany AS PER MY HEADCANON BEFORE
sam gets his maester’s chain but eventually goes on to be jon’s right hand wherever jon ends up (I think in KL so XD hey THE CURRENT ARCHMAESTER IS DEAD)
if margaery survives (before the show I’d have bet on it, now I’m not so sure) she’s ending up in a way more demoted position than she is rn but anyway some tyrell’s gonna live - I don’t think loras might be one tho
davos is definitely surviving - if he doesn’t end up tied with anyone same as he’s in the show (I mean if he REALLY became jon’s hand of the king I���d die of happiness but idk how likely it is) - he’s coming back home a-la sam in lotr, like ‘hey marya I’m home’ 
theon and asha are definitely not dying. asha is eventually ruling the iron islands somewhat. about theon I’m not sure because I don’t have enough elements to decide if he’s going back to the islands (doubtful) or staying north (maybe) but anyway theon’s surviving that shit. he didn’t have the mother of all abuse survivor recovery storylines to die just when he can get to live without anyone breathing down his neck and trying to force his alliances. like I’m 100% sure theon doesn’t die it’s the one thing I’d bet actual money on after canon jb lol
varys is probably gonna live because he’s too smart not to
edmure is surviving and getting riverrun but he and roslin prob won’t separate so he also gets the twins or something along that line of thinking
I’m sure I prob. forgot someone but that’s the main lines of it I think XD let’s see how wrong am I if these books actually see the light of day
btw this is all based on book canon, on the show I have no fucking clue anymore #rip
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captainderyn · 8 years ago
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So...5.2
*Spoilers for Update 5.2, will be under a cut*
*This will probably be superlong as I have A LOT to say. *
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5.2 *sigh* didn’t live up to my expectations. What were my expectations? I honestly don’t know, but this wasn’t it. 
First of all I’m going to put this out there; I play heavily based on the characters I create and flesh out in my writing. So your smuggler is vastly different than my smuggler Emeldir. And let me tell you throughout this war for Iokath, Emeldir is pissed. This whole ‘war’ or arms race is something he wouldn’t like to get involved in. After the whole shebang with the Eternal Empire ends and he declares himself peacekeeper he thinks he’s done with galaxy ending shenanigans. He just wants to find his wife and go home. 
But NO, we get dragged into Empire v Republic again. And you know who Emeldir sided with? The Empire. Let me explain. Throughout KotFE/KoET the Empire has aided the ‘Eternal Alliance’ in defeating the Eternal Empire. Acina has proven herself to be mostly trustworthy as she doesn’t attempt to murder him on DK, and they form an alliance. Then they come to help on Voss, that’s another check. Not to mention in my own canon Emeldir has met good, kind Imperials such as my IA Erabelle and my SW Wren. What has the Republic done for him? Paid him over five years ago, used him as a pawn in their war? Fighting with them is how he got the injury that gave him his limp. Not to mention throughout KotFE/KoET the Republic nearly fell apart. Not exactly a tactical reason to side with them. To be honest if Jace Malcom hadn’t been such an ass Emeldir may have considered siding with the Republic more than he did. 
“Typical merc, we never should have trusted you.” 
Ahh classic Republic, getting mad when Emeldir doesn’t play along. News flash, that’s why you hired him in the first place. And then Elara Dorn goes and tries to what I’ll assume, kill Emeldir. Lovely. That’ll sure make him want to consider joining you. Emeldir sided with the Empire, but he doesn’t want the Republic to burn, or fall, or end. No, he doesn’t want to destroy anyone. He wants to do what he’s wanted since pre-carbonite freezing. To stop being a pawn in these galactic wars. Or if that’s not possible, stop playing around in the galactic super powers and take his Alliance as a neutral third party and do what he said he was going to do; be a peace keeper. 
But of course that isn’t possible. Instead he and Theron need to go on a wild hunt to stop Jace before he does something stupid. And that ends with Jace’s death, even though, like so many other times, Emeldir tried to diffuse the situation and it didn’t work. It’s a wonder he even tries at this point. So that’s painful, whoever voice acts for Theron Shan did an amazing job with his lines. 
Whatever happened to Emeldir and Theron saying they would dismantle the super weapon so no one gets it? Instead Emeldir is forced to surprise surprise take another throne. 
“I’ve seen two thrones, both occupied with dead bodies. I don’t want to be the third.” 
And wow what an even bigger surprise. It doesn’t work and Emeldir instead meets some weird robot that claims there is betrayal in his ranks and oh JOY someone decides to pull some soo unexpected betrayal and Emeldir ends up unconscious. Again. Being forced to accuse someone of betrayal? Whether it was from the stress or maybe the fact that this is the second, third, maybe fourth time he’s been betrayed, he lashed out and accused Lana. Why? Acina wasn’t close enough to plant those explosives, if I heard correctly she shouldn’t have even known their plan. Theron? Emeldir honestly trusts him too much to think he’d betray him. It just doesn’t make sense to him. But Lana....she admitted way back in KotFE that she saw Emeldir as only a tool to save them all. That has stuck with Emeldir and while he’s come to trust her she is the only other one close enough (with the context of what he would have seen. I don’t care about who else it could be outside rn) to have a) known about their plan and b) pulled it off. But he refuses to spy on Alliance members, because that would go against literally everything he has done up until that point. 
The Scions. Of course, a prophecy. Regarding Emeldir. He’s thrilled. But a god of rage. Wait..what? A GOD. Six GODS? That has never struck me as a large player in Star Wars, SWTOR especially. And Emeldir, becoming a GOD himself. Um, no thanks, that isn’t really his thing. Or harnessing the gods’ powers to destroy the Republic. How about NO, he doesn’t want to destroy the Republic! He just doesn’t want another galactic wide war. That isn’t why he’s given 1-2+ years of his life to the Alliance between the Republic and Empire instead of ditching them once he’s out of carbonite to go find his wife and find some backwater planet outside the war to live out his happy little smuggler life. 
I stopped when I got to the operation because I refuse to play with 8-16 strangers, especially with how the Shadowlands World Chat was acting. 
Kudos to anyone who read through this whole thing. I didn’t really enjoy it, it makes it feel like KotFE and KoET were all for nothing and that we’ve taken two gigantic leaps back. I’m sticking around for Risha and then I’ll probably never touch these expansions again. Unless I decide I want to entirely DS the expansions. 
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