#so drawing this was a nice break from sleeping the days away ig

[loafbud]

had to draw fanart of the new octo character

[babymetaldoll]

Quarantine with Matthew Gray Gubler (MGG / Reader)

(Not my gif, thank you to whoever made it! )

Requested: Yes :)

Vivir en cuarentena con Matthew, y él hace en vivos por Instagram con y/n respondiendo preguntas de fans

Category: Fluff

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader

Summary: Matthew loves making people happy, and in quarantine, he finds the best way to keep in touch with his fans and do what he loves the most: spend time with (Y/N) 💜

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 2,2K

Masterlist

A/N: I am so sorry this request took me forever!!  Hello guys!!  thank you for all your comments, and love 💖 You are awesome!! hope you have a great week!!

.

Living in quarantine isn't as bad as many people think. It all depends on who you are spending your time locked in with. (Y/N) knew it pretty well, 'cos she had been locked with her husband, Matthew Gray Gubler, in their shared house for the last month.

And even when most people were sick and tired of being home, (Y/N)and Matthew managed to keep themselves busy and mentally sane. In fact, you could feel more stressed considering there was a pandemic and no one could see their loved ones and friends. But being with Matthew made it all so much bearable.

Considering Gubler's job kept him busy most of the time during a normal year and that he didn't have many chances to be home the way he was now, he enjoyed it.

Sleeping in was heaven. And the fact he could stay in, wearing pajama and kimonos, just enjoying his wife's company, was what he needed.

He didn't realize he needed to take a break after years of hard work until he was forced to do it. And god, it felt good.

(Y/N) would keep herself busy writing and reading while Matthew painted and draw by her side.

Their daily activities included: trying new recipes at least three times each week. Gubler would always come with some random exotic dish he always wanted to recreate. And six of eight times, he nailed it.

They would also spend a day in their pajamas doing nothing. Usually, it was Sundays. That was their official cuddles day. Just movies, ice cream, and cuddles.

Matthew also started teaching (Y/N) some magic tricks. She had insisted a few times, but he was very reluctant to do it at first.

- "A magician never shares his tricks, Bunny"- he argued for days.

- "Ok, but what if I am a magician too? Then it would be ok?"

(Y/N) was sitting on his lap, playing with some curls of his hair between her fingers. They were in their backyard, having a picnic. They had set a blanket and had some cookies (Y/N) had baked, along with two tall ice coffee Matthew had prepared, with an obscene amount of whipped cream.

- "And how are you planning to be a magician if you don't know any trick?"- he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

- "Just because you haven't taught me any trick doesn't mean I don't know any!"- she answered, pretending to be insulted.

- "My wife can do magic, and she never told me?"

- "There are a lot of things about your wife you still don't know"- (Y/N) teased and smiled at him.

- "Bunny, we are locked in this house until further notice. I think I have enough time to find out all those things I haven't seen in the last years."

(Y/N) had finally convinced him when she showed him a simple card trick her father had taught her when she was a kid. Gubler got so excited he even presided a ceremony to name her an official magician and invited their friends to be part of it via zoom. Everybody enjoyed their magic tricks and shared a good hour of fun and laughter with them, just like they would do live.

It felt good to be with their loved ones, even if it was just online.

That gave Matthew an idea.

- "Hey, Bunny!"- he walked into the kitchen holding his phone, scrolling down his Instagram feed.

- "What is it, honey?"- (Y/N) asked him as she kept chopping vegetables for dinner.

- "I was thinking maybe I should start doing Instagram live streamings with the fans. Maybe do some magic tricks, tell jokes. I don't know."- (Y/N) raised his eyes from the food and smiled.

- "Sounds awesome! when do you wanna start?"

- "Now?"- he answered a little hesitant

- "And what do you have in mind?"

- "Maybe answering questions and asking them if hanging out via Instagram is something they'd like to do."

(Y/N) chuckled and walked to her husband, pinching his cheeks, making him giggle.

- "You are so adorable, Gub. Like anyone wouldn't love to hang out with you."- he blushed and shook his head.

- "Ok, I'm gonna do it here anyway."

- "While I'm cooking?"- (Y/N) looked confused

- "Yes, I want you near so you can stop me when I start rambling"- (Y/N) laughed and kissed her husband's lips sweetly.

- "I can't stop your rambling, Gubler. But I can mute the video"- she teased, and he pecked her lips, chuckling.

- "Just stop me when I start saying anything embarrassing."

- "Deal."

No one could say Matthew Gray Gubler didn't care about his fans. He was committed to being always nice to anyone who would ask for a picture or an autograph. Why? Because nothing made him happier than making people happy. And if his job gave people joy, he honestly felt his life had a purpose.

That's why he enjoyed his improvised IG stream so much. He just sat on a couch nearby the kitchen and started talking with fans, answering questions.

- "Where am I spending my quarantine? Here is my hunted treehouse. I don't think I had ever been home this much, and it's been awesome."- Gubler stood up and started walking around the room.

- "Who am I spending it with? my gorgeous wife, of course,"- he said and pointed the phone at (Y/N), who was still cooking dinner. She simply waved and smiled

- "She is making sure I eat proper food now... Bunny, people are asking what you are cooking."

- "Pad thai"- she answered with a huge grin- "Gubler's request for tonight's dinner."

- "Maybe we could make a cooking class one day,"- Matthew suggested, and the screen started filling with "YES!!" immediately- "I could teach people how to burn every pan in the house, and you can cook."

(Y/N) nodded, laughing.

- "You can teach everybody how to make the best hotcakes."- (Y/N) answered and walked away from the phone.

It wasn't that she didn't like being part of her husband's activities, but she figured she wasn't really that important. Fans were there to see him, not her.

But Matthew followed her.

- "Yeah! I'll make my famous chocolate chip hotcakes, and you will have to top them!"- (Y/N) laughed and looked at her husband, raising an eyebrow.

- "Battle of the hotcakes?"

- "Yes!"

- "Set a time and a place, and I'll be there"- (Y/N) put her hands in her waist and raised an eyebrow, looking as serious as she could fake it.

- "Tomorrow, noon, here in our kitchen, because we can't leave the house,"- Gubler answered and mimicked his wife's attitude, still streaming everything.

- "Bring it, Gub."

And just like that, another livestream was scheduled.

The next day, at noon, Matthew streamed the funniest hotcake competition there had ever been seen by humankind. At least that's what he described.

- "Let's say it's a tie"- Gubbler decided and finished the last piece of hotcake in his dish- "I'll leave a poll in my stories so you can decide what you wanna see in tomorrow's live."

- "Really?"- (Y/N) asked, surprised- "Which are the options?"

- "Magic tricks or... I don't know. I didn't think this through"- he answered, making his wife giggle.

- "Maybe you could make a Rumple reading"- and Gubler's eye brightened at the idea

- "With my Rumple costume?"

- "I don't see why not"- Gubler looked at the screen and grinned like a kid.

- "Ok, you'll decide, magic classes or Rumple reading."

It was a draw. That's why Gubler did a Rumple reading the next day and decided to prepare a magic class with his wife for later that week.

His followers were having a blast with each one of their streams. Matthew would always try to take a step back and let his wife shine in front of everybody. He thought she was so funny the world needed to see more of her.

And (Y/N) always tried to be the best sidekick for her husband. Helping him make his streamings as fun as possible.

For the Rumple reading, Matthew sat in an armchair by the fireplace, dressed like Rumple, and read the whole book, impersonating voices and everything. Then, (Y/N) read the questions from the fans, and Matthew answered everything.

Gubler dressed like a classic magician for their magic streaming, and his wife was his assistant, helping him with each trick.

And by the end of the week, the people picked Q&A streaming with the two of them. It was the Friday "Chilling with the Gubs special."

- "Your girl is about to steal the whole show"- Shemar called Matthew that week and made him laugh- "She's the best part of the whole stream."

- "Don't flirt with my wife!"- he answered and chuckled.

- "I'm just saying she has a lot of potentials. She should try to do some stand-up comedy."

Gubler loved that comment, though. He knew his wife was awesome, and he wanted the world to know. As simple as that.

- "Ok, Bunny, ready to answer some questions?"- Gubler set the phone in front of them as they sat in their backyard. One more time, they had set a blanket in their favorite spot. And they had cookies and coffee.

- "Hit it!"

It was fun to do those things together. (Y/N) had never been one to be in the spotlight, but she loved being with Matthew. And if he was happy, so was she.

And it took only a second to see how happy Matthew was. He beamed each time he looked at his wife by his side.

- "Ok, this is a good one. What did we have for breakfast today?"- (Y/N) read and chuckled.

- "Good question. Waffles. (Y/N) made waffles, and I ate five, with ice cream. I'm gonna get so fat in quarantine"- the actor answered and felt his wife's hand in his hair.

- "What's your next project"- (Y/N) read- "Oh! that's a good one!"

- "But I won't say anything about it,"- Gubler answered and chuckled- "You'll have to stay tuned."

- "But I can assure you, it's amazing,"- (Y/N) added smiling- "How did you two meet"- the couple looked at each other and giggled.

- "At a party in my best friend's house"- she answered- "She was dating one of Matthew's friends, and they had a huge celebration when they moved in together."

- "And when I saw her, I knew I had to talk to her, but her friends didn't leave her alone."

- "Why didn't you just walked over and talked to me anyway?"- (Y/N) asked and crossed her arms on her chest

- "Because they were intimidating! and I am a shy guy!"- he explained- "I had to wait until you walked away to get yourself a drink to talk to you finally!"

- "You literally appeared by my side as soon as I walked away from them"- (Y/N) laughed, remembering the moment- "It was so funny!"

- "Hey! it might have been my only chance! I needed to take it!"- Matthew held her hand and played with her fingers, thinking he was glad non of that was in the camera angle.

- "And it worked"- (Y/N) answered and smiled at her husband, thinking as soon as that livestream was over, she was going to have a serious make out session with him

- "I'm glad it did. Quarantine would suck without you."

Gubler answered and smiled, thinking as soon as that stream was over, he was going to jump on her and kiss every inch of her body, just because she looked so beautiful that day.

- "Are you guys planning on having kids?"- (Y/N) read and turned all kinds of pink. There was a silence between the couple as they just looked at each other and shrugged.

- "We'd make cute babies"- Matthew answered- "And we could clearly keep them entertained."

(Y/N) laughed and shook her head.

- "We are not streaming that!!"

- "What?"

- "The baby-making part!"- she joked, and Gubler blushed, laughing and falling back on the blanket.

- "That idea never crossed my mind!"

- "I had to say it! Just in case"- (Y/N) argued and chuckled.

She had thought about having babies in the last few months. But getting pregnant during a pandemic didn't sound like a good idea.

Or was it?

- "Ok, everybody. We are signing out for today"- Gubler announced and waved at the camera- "Take care, stay in your house this weekend, and we'll come back maybe next week."

- "Maybe people can suggest what they'd like to see"- (Y/N) said and looked at Gubler, smiling back at her.

- "I'll leave the option in one of my stories so that you can leave your suggestions. See you!!"

The livestream was over. Gubler left his phone aside and looked at his wife. She was sipping her coffee and fidgeting with her fingers on the fabric of her jeans.

- "We would make cute babies, though,"- Matthew whispered and watched her beam at those words. That was all he needed to know.

- "You would spoil them so much"- (Y/N) replied, giggling.

- "Only because they will be just like you, and I love to spoil you so much"- he opened his arms, and (Y/N) leaned in, resting her body against his.

- "So... do you wanna have a baby Gub?"- she whispered against his chest- her voice was muffled, but he heard her clearly.

- "I think I do. You?"- Gubler answered, feeling his heart beating faster.

- "Me too."

(Y/N) muttered and giggled. Matthew looked at her and leaned in a little closer, kissing her lips sweetly.

It was a massive step for them, and they were very excited to do it.

- "Do you wanna start now?"- Matthew suggested, and (Y/N) blushed immediately- "I mean... I was going to suggest sex before, but now..."

- "The sooner, the better, Gubler,"- (Y/N) replied and bit her lips- "After all, we are gonna have to do a lot of practice before we succeed."

[salsdemise]

Accidental Love ig

Gundham fic this time

"Who knew living with a demon would be so wholesome? It's awful and amazing. You know what I mean?" 

A story in which Gundham Tanaka is an actual overlord of the underworld and you end up summoning him out of boredom.

gender neutral reader, hcs for this v of gundham at the bottom of the post!

story word count: 849, not long. hcs word count: 285

You couldn’t believe it.  You simply couldn’t bother to believe it, you didn’t want to.  You didn’t expect this to actually work, let alone summon the being in front of you, who you were sure hadn’t even realized you were there, book in hand and scared.

This whole thing started when you found an almost ancient looking book with a fancy, unreadable, design on the front cover.  Flipping through it, you came across one page that was readable, and the apparent ritual that was on it caught your eye.  Following the ritual, the room grew cold, you nearly got blinded and there was a mysterious being in front of you, looking NOTHING like what was depicted in the book under this ritual.

After the shell shock had washed over you, the being finally turned around, the dark gaze settling on you and the book you held.  Crossing their arms over their chest, the tall being took a breath and spoke, “Foolish mortal, who gave you permission to lay your filthy claws upon my book, ancient and lost?” Confused, you looked down at the book, looking at the scraggly drawing, before looking back up at the, admittedly handsome, being you had summoned.  His book? What was he talking about? Did he lose it some time ago? As if reading your mind the being stepped out of the circle, extending his bandaged wrapped hand towards you, silently asking for the book.  You shut the book and held it out to him, making sure to be careful with the old thing.  Once he had the book in his grasp, the book cover was readable, for the most part. Moving to show you, the being pointed to a name on the inside cover of the book, written fancily albeit scratchily.  Gundham Tanaka.

“Is that your name,” you spoke, looking at the being, “Gundham?”

Letting out a short laugh, closing the book and placing it in one of his deep coat pockets, he nodded, “Indeed it is, dear mortal.  You gaze upon Tanaka the forbidden one, Overlord of Fire and Ice!  Why have you summoned me, mortal fool?” 

That’s where this all started.  That's where your new life started, living with a literal demon, who you had summoned out of boredom.  Surprisingly, you got along great.  He cooked some days, stayed home and watched the house while you worked, helped you with paperwork, and generally just kept you company, telling you stories about the underworld.  It was so much different than you had expected.  You had expected to have to sell your soul for something and die when he got bored and left. 

But, he came and went as he pleased and nothing happened to you.  He would leave for a day at max and come back before long.  Eventually you asked why he stuck around for as long has he did, and his only answer was, “The underworld is quite boring, mortal. For once in my demonic life, I find something to be truly entertaining!  Feel honored that I, Gundham Tanaka, Overlord of all that I am, find a mere mortal such as you entertaining!”

It was nice, having someone fill the empty space in your house.  It felt less lonely, having the demonic man with you almost all the time.  The only bad thing that has happened since he’s got here has been one minor break in.  The person had only intended to steal things, seeing as they didn’t think anyone was home.  But once you got home and saw the house a mess you went to ask Gundham, who was cleaning up the kitchen, what had happened. “What happened while I was gone, Gundham? Why is the house a mess?”

“Ah, good evening, Mortal.  Another of you kind foolishly tried to steal several of your valuable items.  I reprimanded them and sent them away.  I apologize for the mess, but I can assure you that-” 

“Are you alright?”

Your question had stunned the man for a moment, his eyes widening slightly in surprise before he smirked just that bit and let out a short laugh, “Of course I am! No mere mortal can match the power of I, Gundham Tanaka, ruler of the underworld!” He let out a booming laugh, striking one of his iconic poses before he turned his attention back you you, picking up stuff from the floor. “....I’m still deeply sorry for the mess and any worry I may have caused you, S/O.  It was not my intention.  I simply wanted the thief out.”

After assuring him again, you both set on picking up and throwing out any broken things before you headed to bed.  While Gundham didn’t need sleep, he still accompanied you to bed, sitting by you as you slept should something happen to you.  He didn’t think he could forgive himself if he let you get hurt.  Looking down at your sleeping face, peace washed over him. Silly how a mortal such as you managed to capture his heart, but he couldn’t ask for a change.  This was wonderful, peaceful and exactly what he had wanted since he was young.  A friend, someone he could genuinely enjoy, someone who didn’t judge him.  Someone who he could love.  This was perfect.

"Who knew living with a demon would be so wholesome? It's awful and amazing. You know what I mean?"

Demon!Gundham HCs

taller than he is in game.  he stands proudly at like 6′11

his nails are very long

half the time his bandaged arm is very loosely bandaged

His devas are far too big to keep in his scarf now

he wears thigh-high heels/boots

Mentioned in the end of the fic, he sits in your room and protects you when you sleep

he made the book mentioned in the story when he was younger.  The drawing of him is what he thought he was gonna look like.  then he lost it and you summoned him.

He may seem mean, but he hit you on accident doing his pose and he almost cried he felt so bad

his hair isn’t styled like it is in game.  he keeps the longer bits back in a bun

he’s blind in one eye

He plays classical music when he cooks

the first time you let him cook in your kitchen he almost burnt it down

one time your parents/family/friends came over and your mom screamed when she saw him in the kitchen making mac and cheese.  you forgot to tell them-

he has frequent joint pains? like his ankels or knuckles will randomly start hurting

He looks very much human, but when you first summoned him he was like...a pinky red and he had large ram horns

he has facial hair

when he sits in your room to make sure nothing happens to you he either sits in a chair by your bed or in the corner, on your bed.

dresses in a black suit and tie with a red undershirt most of the time.

still has a scarf, it’s just tattered and red.

sharp teeth.

[fanfoolishness]

A Warrior’s Death (The Mandalorian)

Set immediately following the events of Chapter 8: The Redemption.  

Din Djarin was alive.  The child was safe.   The Imps were vanquished.  He and the child were now a clan of two.  ...So then why was it so hard to breathe?

Angst, PTSD, blood/injury trigger warning, found family.  ~1700 words.

Now with art for extra feels!

***

The rocks and lava fields of Nevarro fell away beneath them as the Razor Crest ascended.  The child sat in his lap, curled against his cuirass, exhausted by the ordeal they had both survived.  Far below, Din could just barely make out the small cairn he had left behind.  A little higher and clouds surrounded them, vanishing the land.

They cleared the atmosphere and Din set the ship on autopilot in a high orbit.  He knew the Imperial presence had been destroyed, but he still felt uneasy keeping the ship planetside after such a narrow escape.  Especially with what had happened in the covert --

He abruptly got to his feet, cradling the child.  He needed to tend to him, needed to make sure he was all right after everything.  Carefully he carried the drowsy child down the ladder and to the cramped sleeping area.  He set the little one down on his own bed, bunching up the thin blanket to pad the area.  

Din knelt beside him, ignoring the dull pain in his head and body.  His head still pounded.  Bacta had saved his life, but he knew how close it had been.  It would be at least a week before his body could forget an injury that severe.

The child blinked up at him.  “How are you, kid?” Din asked into the silence.  

The kid tilted his head, ears quivering faintly.  He let out a soft sound, then slowly outstretched his hands, reaching up to Din.  There were a few small burns on those tiny green fingers, little areas where the skin was slightly reddened.  To his relief Din saw no blisters or deeper wounds.  Still, though, the way the baby grimaced slightly when Din touched them tore at him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Din murmured.  “Here.”  He reached to the medikit stored beneath the bunk, pulling out a vial of bacta cream.  He slipped off one glove and dipped a calloused fingertip in the ointment.  “Can I see?”

The baby regarded him with those large, intelligent eyes, and reached toward him.  Din dabbed a small amount of the cream between the child’s palms, then rubbed them together.  The baby cooed, the sound sweet and bright.

“See?  Feels better, right?” 

The kid stared at him, mouth falling open in a small smile, then clapped his hands together without a flinch.

Din let out a long sigh, putting his glove back on.  “Good job.  You were very brave.”  

He rummaged in the crate beside the bed, coming out with a kit of freeze-dried krill, some of the last from Sorgan.  “Want a snack?”  

He opened the packet, setting it in the child’s lap.  “Remember the nice people in Sorgan?  All those kids you made friends with?”  If only we --

Little fingers reached to the food, and the child ate the lot ravenously, getting krill crumbs all over his face.

“Here.  Let me just --”  Din wiped the crumbs off with his fingertips.  The child leaned into his touch, large eyes falling closed as Din cradled his cheek.  “Sleepy?  Get some rest, buddy.  I’ll be back soon.  Just need to clean up a little.”  The kid snuggled into Din’s blanket, already fast asleep.  

“Night, kid,” he said softly.

The door to the bunk closed behind him, the locking lights flashing.  His shoulders slumped, exhaustion settling in.  

He shuffled to the wall beside the vacc tube, hitting his closed fist against the small panel that hid a shallow sink, faucet, and cupboard.  He glanced back.  The door to the bunk was still locked.  He didn’t think the kid would try to follow him, tired as he was, but he dared not leave it to chance.  Not after earlier --

He sank onto the narrow seat of the vacc, and leaned heavily against the wall.  

He forced himself to reach up and lift his helmet, hissing as the inner lining, sticky with dried blood, tugged at his hair.  He sniffed, wincing, catching the scent of stale sweat and iron in his sodden shirt collar.  He set the helmet down beside him on a weapons rack and methodically pulled off his gloves for what came next.  

Childhood training burned deep in his bones.  You must tend to your armor after each battle as you tend to your body.  Without your armor, your body is vulnerable.  The two are one and the same.  

Normally his skills, his training, and his beskar kept the ritual of maintenance brief and automatic. Then again, normally he didn’t come back from a job with bacta mending a skull fracture.

A blinding flash, the air ripped from his lungs as he flew backwards -- 

A horrific crunching, a hot flood slick down the back of his head, soaking his collar and cloak --

He stared at his helmet, IG-11’s words echoing.  I am not a living thing.

He shivered.  It was true that no droid lived.  No living thing had seen him unmasked since childhood.  He had sworn the Creed.

But would the Armorer have granted him his signet, had she known what he’d done?  

What he’d allowed?

A wave of pain throbbing, overwhelming, clouding thoughts and vision, black blooming at the edges of everything --

Feet limp and nerveless, legs dragging in the dust, Cara hauling him from the fray like a dead thing --

He snatched the helmet from the shelf in a quick, controlled movement, breathing hard, and turned on the water in the shallow sink.  He reached for his cleaning kit and thrust his hand inside the helmet, methodically scouring the detritus away from the delicate machinery lining its inner surface.  

A frisson of revulsion passed through him as the water flowed red.  Broken strands of hair, clumped with clotted blood, gathered at the drain.  He scrubbed until the water poured into the helmet flowed clear, until the outside shone, until his head and his hands ached with the effort.  

The certain knowledge that this, then, was a warrior’s death --

Gasping for air, chest heaving, the raised blaster in his trembling hand --

The air, soft on his face --

Stiffly he set his helmet down to dry, and raised his head.  His face, distorted, stared back at him from the dimly reflective wall surface.  The colors were all wrong: reds and purples where he remembered brown and tan.  He brought handfuls of water to his cheeks, grunting when he found undeclared bruises, a nasty cut across the bridge of his nose, blood dried hard enough in his mustache that he had to scrub to lift it.  

Helmets stacked like trophies, beskar bones of his people in the dark  —

He gingerly touched the back of his head, his hand coming away still moist with blood and sweat.  The hair had matted, mired in hopeless tangles.  He’d cut it tomorrow.  For now he settled with more soap and water, enough to thin some of the mats at least somewhat.  He brushed through some of the damp hair with his fingers, and he wondered if the foundlings had fought back.

He stilled, his hands falling slack into his lap.  He stared at the wall.  He breathed in.  Breathed out.

He stared until his eyes burned.

***

The door to the bunk hissed open.  The child still slept soundly, though the blanket had fallen to expose his small shoulders.

Din knelt beside the child, his armor finally cleaned and restored.  The kid was sleeping so peacefully that for a moment he considered sleeping up in the cockpit, letting the kid take the bed rather than move him to the makeshift hammock Din had made.  Either way he’d be sleeping in full armor, as he had ever since the kid had come aboard, so it made little difference to him.  But as he adjusted the blanket, tucking it in around the little one’s neck, a small hand brushed against his vambrace.  

The child blinked owlishly up at him, stifling a tiny yawn.  Then he reached up, hands striving --

“C’mere,” said Din.  He gathered the child into his arms and sat on the cot, letting himself stretch out.  He meant to reach over and help situate the child in the hammock, but he did not.  Instead the child curled up against him in the soft spot between his fresh-cleaned cloak and his pauldron.

Din laid a hand over the child’s back, watching it rise and fall with every small, rapid breath.  “It was a hard day,” he murmured.  “No wonder you’re tired.”

He closed his eyes.  Tried to drift off to sleep, the familiar weight of the child resting against him.  But he stared through the slit in his helmet up at the ceiling, eyes unfocused.

Burrowing his face into the shoulder of the Mandalorian, the wind in his hair -- 

He was alive.

The foundlings playing games beneath the city --

The child was safe.

Kuiil’s small body, scored by blaster fire --

The Imps were vanquished.

A mechanized voice beseeching him not to be sad --

He and the child were now a clan of two.  

Beskar desouled, defiled, desolate --

So then why was it so hard to breathe?

The child whimpered suddenly against him, his hands twitching, perhaps in a dream.  Did his species dream?  The whimper grew louder, sounding almost frightened.  The little hands jerked.

His stomach clenched, the flashes in his mind receding, his focus turning sharply to the child resting on him.  “It’s okay,” Din whispered, caressing the baby’s cheek, thumb drawing small circles against delicate skin.  “I’ve got you.  You’re safe now.”  

Please believe me, kid --

The baby murmured half inaudibly, then shifted and wrapped his arms around Din’s hand.  Through the kid’s robe Din could feel a fierce heartbeat, tapping a rapid tattoo.  Close to the heart, his gloved fingertips brushed against something hard and metallic.  The mythosaur, memory, might, Mandalore.  

The child, the heartbeat, the mythosaur.  They anchored him.  They were enough.

This is the Way.

The child rested peacefully against him, comfortably asleep once more.  Din’s eyes fell closed, his mind quieting, the ache of his wounds fading.  He breathed in.  Breathed out.  

He slipped into a dreamless sleep, and he held his foundling closer.

-fin

(Maybe Grogu’s mind wanders in the Force while he sleeps.  Maybe Din’s trauma isn’t as hidden as he thinks it is.  Yes, my heart breaks for both of them.)

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[nightowlgunner]

Her

It was like June 2020 when I started playing with Kristine. That was also the time na she got laid off so we got the chance na magkalaro sa game full time. It was also the time na, I slowly opened up to her. Because I have strong walls eh, I do not let people come in my life easily. Since Kristine looks sincere and a listener to me, I gave her the way to get in. I talk about my rants about how my day goes and my relationship status with Joan. There is something about her that makes me want to know her more. There are many things na napagkakasunduan namin that leads to laughing and feeling na magaan lang kausap. I also liked that she is interested in the Game that I am playing, We shared things from the moment she started playing pc games back then, her ex gf's, her dramas in life, her fam, her girlfriend but not too much of it. She shares her problem too, the same goes with me.

Back then, I got curious about Kristine because of the stories that I have heard from Joan about her and her ex-gf and the toxicity of her relationship with Rose.

I admit she got my sympathy. Reminded me of my past relationship and how she handled it. Later on, whenever Kristine goes back here in Manila for a vacation, she always invites us. So I have no choice but to go with Joan though I am way too shy na makihalubilo sa mga tao.

By the first time that I met Kristine she was with her ex-gf Siena. There was nothing special or any thing that I felt. I was just nervous meeting her. Idk. Because I feel like she is intimidating. It was just a stage of knowing her, but she was nice naman. That time I remember Joan blocked her on my fb friend's list because of some reasons that i am not sure of, like Jealousy. Joan is always jealous which make me feel like hindi ako katiwa tiwalang tao. Lol. Grabe lang. And since then, Kristine unblocked me.

Way back 2018, I casually message her, like saying Hi, Hello, a little update of my day, and a little sharing of how me and Joan is doing.

I remember that it was also the time that she is trying to open up about her problems with Siena and so i made a GC where me, Joan and tine are messaging so she will not think too much back in Dubai.

I think she was on the verge of breaking up with Siena?

I have work back then so our exchange of messages was not that constant.

Joan used to rant at Kristine about me and how our life have been, which I do not like. Kasi nahihiya ako na kailangan pa ilabas ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman dapat. There are times I feel uncomfortable kapag sinasabihan din ako ni Tine about our probs. But i just shrugged it off na lang.

It was also the time that I am focus to Joan too.

'Til Pandemic came. I am so happy may kalaro na ako sa game and that is her. Most of the time we play during afternoons, we also got the chance to try voice call each other on Messenger.

Then there goes the story, we talk a lot, shared a lot and our game time is way fun because she is a good team mate.

She was a good listener. And she understands me. Not all the time she is in favor of me, there are times she helps me understand things.

But most of the time, She makes me feel valid.

August came and Joan celebrated her birthday.

September and I celebrated mine, and I received a gift from her, it was a cake. She told me in Whatsapp that it was for me only. She just made it look like it was also for Joan since she never gave her any present last month.

October came, and I decided to make a surprise for her birthday, I'm talking about Kristine here. And so I did. We call her through VC in Messenger and I greeted her in my Facebook Gaming page, and made an appreciation post for her in my IG, which she really liked.

November came and I broke my thoughts to her. It was my nephew's birthday, Ethan.

I told her through Whatsapp that I liked her. That I liked her back then because of some reasons like, She went through hell in her relationships yet she stood up, etc. and my curiosity ate me.

I told her I might not feel uncomfortable talking to her because she already knew my secret that I like her. Then Kristine said, Bakit naman?

I asked her am I not likeable? She answered me, it's not that I am not likeable, she also said that she knew that I am a good person, and she reminded me that it was wrong. I told her I have no intentions of ruining her and Kamille. I just wanted her to know that I liked her, period.

Then we played a game, shared some secrets and stuff, because I started to trust her na.

Then as days goes by, we play constant and we talk mostly.

She even shared to me the time she went to sleep over with workmates because Kamille and her had an argument. We had our first Video Call in Messenger the next day before she go to work. Send me photos that I asked her too cause I am not seeing her lately.

We still talk even at her work hours, I listen to her work rants and stuff.

Then came an issue of this gaming headset that she wants to give me without malice as claimed by Kristine. Joan did not like the gesture. So, we talked secretly and talk about it. We agreed not to pursue the headset anymore.

December came and yah, we still play. I found out she resigned at her work.

I had an issue with a basher of my page, so I have to deactivate my gaming page and make an investigation who the hell is she.

So my attention draws closer to the game itself and also Kristine. and stop streaming for a while, She decided to install the Global server instead of using Garena for months because she is running out of VPN's to use for free anymore.

I felt like we have this kind of understanding where she gets me. And she agreed. But sometimes she sends me mixed signals.

I came to a point where I became confused.

I felt the need to share this because I am having these "time bomb" like feelings that if I cannot find a way to consult it to other person i am gonna explode and became clingy at her.

So I brought my classmate back in High School named Annarie, who prefers to call herself Pacsy. We play in Garena sometimes and we chat in Messenger too. I shared her my thoughts about Kristine. And I decide to her to be like the observant of the girl I liked if she feels the same way to me.

There are times that I felt jealous whenever there is a guy flirting with her on the game and sometimes she makes me feel that she is jealous too when I do the same.

And then came February, we had an argument.

My thoughts went confused, concern at Pacsy, and at the same time jealous.

Felt bad because we made a promise to each other to be open and not keep secrets. But things fail.

I broke down and cried.

Then came Joan who confronted Kristine, and Pacsy without me knowing it because I was asleep when Joan hacked my phone. I lost all of my phone datas and apps.

And I did not like it. Joan should have talked the proper way but instead choose to hysterical all the time.

She discovered that, there is something between me and Kristine based on our exchange of chats in Messenger.

Since I'm woman enough to admit my fault, I did.

I admit that I fell to Kristine.

Joan blocked her in my Messenger first.

And next is IG.

CODM became an exception.

It was a week of pain and confusion and discoveries.

I have discovered that She admits that she felt the same way for me.

That she doesn't want to lose me too.

That I am important to her, that she thinks of me by the time we lost our communication for like a week and more.

She was the one who initiated a contact.

I knew in my heart she wants it.

Let me just have a detailed flashback:

FEB 17: That night, we played, me, Pacsy and her. Dhanush invited me. I said sorry to them. And Kristine drop this line that it will be the last time she will talk to US. So I distant myself.

FEB 18: It was like 5pm, I called Pacs and I apologized to her of what happened and I cried because of what I feel in my situation. I told her, it was so hard to tell Joan that I fell in-love with her friend.

I asked Pacs not to update Kristine about me anymore because I wanna distant too.

FEB 18: 10:30 PM Pacsy texted me that Ktine asked her a favor to tell me that Joan is attacking her on messenger. I just said, it was noted.

FEB 19: Vertigo attacked me.

FEB 26: I received an XP rewards from Kristine. Just to be clear, giving away XP rewards is customized, you are the one who will choose who to give it to. And with that gesture, I knew in my heart she wants to talk and play with me. The past days Dhanush has been chatting me whenever he is playing with her. I told Dhanush I cant because she does not want to talk to me anymore and I wanna keep my distance too.

FEB 27-28

I played in CODM that night and I message her in the app, and invited her to play. Just a duo. At first she said, "Hi joan." then I told her, "Hindi nuh, hahaha." Then we play both off mic. And I notice she is messaging me while playing and says she misses me. "imy" I asked her "Kumusta" etc. At first I did not want to answer back I miss her too, because I am doubtful that it might be Kamille who's playing, but again, I knew it was her. So I told her, I miss this duo. Then she replied ":(".

Its like we had 2 games only, I said goodbye yet she tried to invite me again for another round for a squad with Dhanush but I have to leave the app and so I did.

FEB 29

We talked in CODM Global server app. We did not play instead we just talked. She told me she created an account in deviantart.com which is a website for artists, I actually have account there for art purposes. However she cant find my account there so I suggest how about Twitter. She opened up to me that day, as I remember, she apologized to me of the things she have done like how she cracked my secret to Joan etc. She said she does not normally say sorry to anyone yet she is doing it for me that day. I asked her if, "hindi ba kapani paniwala kapag ako ang nagsabi na mahal kita?"

She answered, she feels things the same way. She understands that my IG stories was for her mostly, and I claimed it. She told me she was scared to lose communication with me, that sometimes she feels like she's using another person just to get connected at me. And I get what she is saying. She said that she felt something for me.

I am sorry but the words we shared felt like... there is something.

Days have gone by, We played again. However I am hiding it.

I made a letter for her by using a website app. I told her everything there.

We also both made a Twitter account. Obviously, we missed each other.

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 9 reaction

Okay, I finally did this one! I’m not sure how many people still care since Skam France S3 ended back in March, but I wanted to complete the whole season. Sorry for the delay, anyone still interested! I apologize if I forgot some crucial details in writing this since there was such a large gap between viewing the rest of the season.

Episode 9

Clip 1 - Guru advice for a sad boy

Lucas is lying on the couch after his rough night. Are they still going to make him sleep on the couch after this shit went down? Why is he even there anymore after he told them sobbing that this was his room now a few episodes ago? Or when he stumbled in with his boyfriend to fuck on the sofa and Lisa was like, yeah, make Manon sleep on the couch instead since she’s not getting any? Because I refuse to believe that Lucas chose to camp there voluntarily either when he was a) getting laid or b) in the throes of despair.

Mika checks in on him and tries to comfort him. There’s a nice, humanizing part where he says just because he seems happy all the time doesn’t mean he’s never sad, and just because he sleeps around now doesn’t mean he’s never been in love. Lucas apologizes for saying a dumb thing and Mika says it’s OK to be dumb when you’re sad. But don’t be dumb too long, meaning don’t be sad too long. He gives Lucas a kiss on the forehead. So at least we’re getting some of this affection between them later in the season. 

Lucas asks Mika how you move on and Mika is just like … shrug. Like he literally shrugs. I mean, I get that there’s no easy answer, but you could have said that instead of leaving Lucas hanging, dude, give the guy a little relief.

Clip 2 - Lucas’ dad suuuuucks

Lucas is doing laundry and looking up bipolar disorder on his phone when Eliott sends him a picture, kinda similar to the one on IG of his raccoon fursona throwing away crumpled drawings? I think it’s be the same one. It’s like he’s trying to say something to Lucas but doesn’t know what. He sends another pic where the raccoon seems to want to call out to hedgehog but the hedgehog spurns him and doesn’t want to talk. Eliott then sends him a bunch of photos at once and Lucas texts him not to contact him because he's not dealing well right now. Which is kinda different from Isak’s reply to Even the night after? It might be lost in translation, but Isak was more “I don’t know what’s going on” and Lucas is like “I’m not dealing well with this,” so confusion vs. hurt/upset feelings.

More dramatic piano music as Lucas gets another text. not from Eliott, but from his dad, asking if it’s true he has a boyfriend. OK, so Dad is a homophobe? Because he sure took a while to answer his son (compared to Isak’s dad who answered him immediately). Like did he need almost a full week to process that his son was dating a guy, he didn’t text or call in the meantime? Dad says if that’s true that Lucas has a boyfriend, it’s not a good idea to bring him to church. He attributes it to Lucas’ mom not being able to understand, but this seems way more like Lucas’ dad’s problem. 

Isak’s dad wasn’t a great guy, but I think he genuinely didn’t have a problem with Isak being gay, or at least not a huge one. He responded to Isak’s coming out right away, said it was nice if Isak had a boyfriend and he would like to meet him, and checked in with Isak about whether he was sad about breaking up with his boyfriend. It’s very possible he wasn’t 100% fine with it, but it seemed like he was awkward at worst rather than actually disapproving. Lucas’ dad feels like he is seriously not OK with it even if he’s trying not to come across that way. He waited almost a week to respond to his son coming out to him and then didn’t say anything nice like “I’m happy for you” on top of that, he just said went into how it wasn’t a good idea to bring his boyfriend to church. Lucas’ mom’s possible reaction felt like an excuse for his own problem. And I don’t think it was even her potential response as a religious person, but maybe the dad thinking that Lucas should keep his gay relationship away from the church as a general rule.

Lucas starts to type out that it was a joke (about having a boyfriend), but deletes the message and doesn’t reply, then seems about to cry again. So like Isak, he can’t bear to say it wasn’t real. 

Also, by this point in Isak’s season, Isak had come out to both his parents, and he got his mother’s acceptance text right at his lowest point, when he needed it. So at least that weight was off his back. Lucas hasn’t even told her about having a boyfriend yet, so it’s just pure misery for him with no relief. He’s probably even more anxious about his mom rejecting him because of his dad’s text.

Clip 3 - Charles is THE ACTUAL WORST, NO EXAGGERATION

Manon and Emma are talking about Charles when Lucas gets home. Can we please inform the remake writers that this storyline is not even necessary in adaptations where the William actors don’t leave the show? Remember how much Noorhelm there was in S4? If it’s like this in S3 what will the Manon and Charles drama be in Imane’s season? Or will it be toned down in that season and is only more prominent in this one as a way to incorporate the girl squad more in a boy’s season?

However, Manon says Lucas can stay to hear about what happened with her and Charles, which is seriously a sweet moment since it shows how close they are and how much she trusts him. Additionally, he gets to return the favor (of sorts), because Manon supported him and Eliott and was there for him when he was falling apart, so now Lucas can listen to Manon’s story and support her in her time of need.

Manon tells her story. At first it was great with her and Charles, then he got busy working for his dad and Manon had classes, and she didn’t make many friends. I like that she’s all “not my strong point” to Emma; that’s nice continuity, since Emma was the first friend she made at her new school, and they bonded over not having friends, heh. Manon got summoned to testify against Nico and she was upset about it; Charles noticed but she couldn’t talk about it. Then Charles went back to Paris to see his mom and Nico was invited without warning. They talked, Nico cried a lot, he was depressed and regretted what happened. Charles thought Nico needed therapy, but prison would fuck up his life. Especially because Nico didn’t even rape Manon. Yes, that is what Charles actually said to Manon. The fuck.

Charles said he would support Manon in whatever choice but really, while he didn’t impose anything on her, he also didn’t support her. The day of the trial, she went to court but ended up leaving before it happened. Charles asked how it went and she told him the truth, but that she wasn’t coming home, either. Manon didn’t tell anyone what happened because she was embarrassed about leaving for London with her dream man and coming back after only a few months. She felt so stupid. Manon cries, Emma is supportive, Lucas suggests they all drink. Emma is like YESSSSS. Lucas is not surprised Emma wants to drink.

Manon is like, the last time I drank wasn’t exactly great. I mean ... good point, maybe not the best idea to remind her of Nico right now. Except Emma is like, I won’t make out with you, OK? Lucas is like, neither will I. Heh.

I’ll pay a compliment before I get into my rant: Marilyn Lima did a great job depicting Manon’s breakdown. I really felt for her. And that made me angrier at this narrative choice, honestly.

OK, I’m just like ... exasperated. And disgusted. I am not a Noorhelm fan. I didn’t like this story in Skam about why Noora left London. I think it illustrated why Noorhelm were not compatible as a couple, because the same mistakes were happening in S4 that happened with them in S2; just like when he ditched Noora at school when he heard from Niko and then ignored her texts telling him it was rape for days as she begged with him to talk to her, this incident again showed that William was not capable of supporting Noora to the degree she needed it. Sure, it’s a lovely moment when he holds her as she’s panicking, but what about when he cruelly removes that tenderness and love when he finds out why she’s panicking? It was her sexual assault, not his, and I know it’s more complicated because his brother was the perpetrator, but he still needed to put his own feelings aside and support his girlfriend, the victim. When he can’t do that, repeatedly, then we really need to question whether he is the right person for Noora. Not to mention that this issue was resolved off-screen, with Noora being vaguely like “we talked and I understand him so much better now” as if Noora’s failure to understand William’s feelings is the real problem here. Not to mention any other criticism I could say about Noorhelm. And in some ways I think Marles was worse than Noorhelm; there were times when Charles was more of a domineering asshole than William (the scene where he leaves Manon crying on the ground, for example, is even nastier). 

So I say this as someone who doesn’t really care about the pairing … did they have to make Charles so much of an irredeemable asshole here? 

Charles probably has some “good” reason for his behavior that we’ll find out later. Too bad I don’t give a fuck what it is. He minimized his girlfriend’s sexual assault because the attacker - his brother - didn’t technically rape Manon, because the brother is just so upset about it and crying and he needs therapy, not prison. Fuck Charles. Nico is probably manipulating him, or maybe Charles is doing this for his mother’s sake so her son doesn’t go to prison, who knows, but whatever the reason, he basically planted the idea in Manon’s head that Nico didn’t need to go to jail. He downplayed her need for justice. He downplayed her trauma. Like … the only acceptable explanation is that Charles was replaced by a pod person or an evil clone in Paris, and in S4 the real Charles fights his way out of the underground secret laboratory where he’s being held hostage and tells Manon the truth. That is the only way I will accept Charles and Manon endgame after this.

I would not have a problem with this development were I confident that Manon and Charles were going to break up for good. Okay, that makes sense as a factor that permanently separates them. I do still think it’s kind of frustrating and pointless, like why the fuck did we spend a whole season on their supposedly great and epic love if Charles was going to commit the same selfish and hurtful mistakes he did in S2? I think it would be fine to do a storyline where Marles/Noorhelm doesn’t work out because Charles just can’t be the guy Manon needs him to be, but like … that should be the story of S2. When they’re the focus of a season. When you can develop that idea clearly because the POV allows it. You could get them together earlier in the season and do an arc similar to Eva’s where the Noora realizes that while she loves William, it’s best if they break up because they don’t work as a couple (even if this might be a redundant storyline after S1, I think it could still have value in trying to portray girls not putting up with their boyfriends’ bad behavior). But not “we spent a full season trying to convince you they belong together, but something happens off screen and they broke up.” That’s narratively unsatisfying. And anyway, this whole rant is probably pointless, because my issue is that I don’t think they’re going to break them up for good. Charles will come swooping back later in S4 just like William did. He’ll likely have some weak excuse that we’re supposed to accept as justified for putting Manon through all of this pain. For fuck’s sake, even if, IDK, Nico was threatening Manon if she testified against him, or something dire like that, so Charles had to find a way to discourage her - in what world is it not better to tell Manon about this than to keep it to himself?

You know what? Even if you have sympathy for Charles, even if you think it’s understandable that he doesn’t want his brother to go to prison, however loathsome said brother might be - that still doesn’t mean he’s right for Manon. Maybe they love each other, maybe it’s not fair, but if he cannot support Manon entirely over his brother here, then this relationship will never ever be healthy. She is a victim of sexual assault; Nico is the one who assaulted her. There is no grey area to this situation. So if Charles cannot accept that, then he and Manon cannot and should not be in a romantic relationship; Manon deserves someone who can support her through her recovery of a harrowing experience wholeheartedly. I do understand if Charles has complicated feelings about the issue, but frankly then he needs to go to therapy and work them out with someone who is not the victim of a traumatic crime.

I mean, shit happens, sometimes you have to account for sudden unplanned factors, like when Thomas Hayes left the show. But Michel Biel didn’t as far as I know, so there was no reason to insert this frankly evil drama into the narrative. There was no reason to send Manon to London at all? She was going to move in with Charles. That was literally what was planned for them after S2 to free up a room for Lucas. It’s just so goddamn dumb. 

I’m trying to consider if maybe the purpose of this crap was to make a parallel to Lucas’ situation, maybe to show Lucas how Eliott must feel to be abandoned by the one he loves by showing Manon breaking down? But nah. If that was the case, it’s really not highlighted enough, I don’t think we see Lucas clearly link it to Eliott. I know subtlety isn’t this show’s strong suit, but this would have been so subtle as to not be present at all (which is why I don’t think it was intended). And it’s also way too big as drama not to have drastic consequences in itself.

God. I just. Why. Whyyyyyyy.

Clip 4 - Pity party turns to pity rave

They’re all hanging out and drinking, nice to see all three season leads so far get a scene together. Manon’s lying in Lucas’ lap, that’s cute. They’re bemoaning their love lives and it’s Emma’s turn to vent about her relationship with Alex. Manon suggests talking to him to find out if he has good qualities other than sex. See, I would buy this if all we knew about them was that they were hooking up, but we’ve seen through social media that they do hang out together outside of the bedroom? They go places together enough to document their experiences on IG. So they would’ve attempted conversations already, they would’ve tried to bond. I think it’s time for Emma to call it like it is: a satisfying sexual relationship, nothing more. 

Lucas is like, you’re lucky, you have a boyfriend unlike Manon and I. Dude, Lucas, come on. Emma is just FWBing it with Alex anyway, according to her. He’s drinking and getting sloppy and telling them about Eliott’s freak-out and him being bipolar and Emma is like, I have it worse. Lmao shut up, no you don’t. I get it in the sense that having a bipolar boyfriend is not a terrible thing, but Eliott’s manic episode is certainly a more drastic and serious thing than just being with some conversational dud who knows how to maneuver his penis. Even Lucas is like BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS BIPOLAR, though in his case I think it’s still the ableism peeking out.

Manon is like, excuse me, I have it the worst. They agree. I also agree. Charles is undoubtedly the worst.

Mika and Lisa come home and join in the debauchery. They put on a disco light and everyone dances. It’s very tonally jarring and I think it’s supposed to be kinda not actually happening? Or rather, some version of this is happening but Lucas’ POV is exaggerating or distorting it because he’s drunk. The lyrics are like “Take control” so I suppose this is his desperate way of reclaiming his messy emotional state 

I do like the shot of Mika showing off his nipples and Lucas seeing it and being like … nope. 

Manon and Emma make out and Lisa and Mika make out and I’m kinda cranky about it, because I don’t need more straight girl hawt drunk make-outs or a gay guy kissing his female roommate, like what a double dose of bullshit. More generously, I can attribute this to Lucas hallucinating and being out of sorts while he’s drunk and so imagining “wrong things” like everyone around him standing still, Manon and Emma kissing when they’re not a couple, Mika and Lisa kissing when Mika is gay, etc. 

It’s all fun and games and party electronic dance makeouts until Lucas slows down and gets miserable. Things get blurry. He can’t drink his angst away, not for long. 

There’s a shot spliced in of Eliott making eye contact with him on the dance floor in episode 3, as Lucas is coming down from his high. Nice inclusion as Lucas is trying to escape his problems but of course he can’t get over Eliott or his sadness that easily.

There’s possibly more you could analyze about the composition of the ending but the editing kinda gave me a headache so I only watched the clip once, sorry.

Clip 5 - Basile isn’t a dumbass for once

Lucas is very hungover at school on Monday. Yann is like oooo, night out with Eliott? Lucas explains that it’s because of Eliott that he got drunk. He says Eliott is bipolar as Arthur and Basile sit down. Arthur is like, Kanye West is bipolar. Maybe not the best example to use in 2019, bro. 

Honestly they’ve ruined Basile SO FUCKING MUCH with his horrible creepy sexism that I can’t even enjoy this moment from him where he talks about his mom. I mean, this is easily the best Basile has been all season, and if they hadn’t made him so disgusting, it’d be a great scene for him. And I completely understand people liking him in this moment. Hell, divorced from anything else in this season, I like him in this moment! But I cannot get over how atrocious their depiction of him has been elsewhere in the story, like I’m glad he dropped some wisdom on Lucas but this isn’t some magical fix-it that will erase my negative feelings about him.

Like for example, Basile says the first time his mom saw a Tom Cruise movie, she fell madly in love with him and flew to LA and went to his house and got removed by the cops. And not to be insensitive since this is an example of her mania, but my first thought was, “Oh, stalking runs in the family.”

The rest of the dialogue is pretty similar to OG where Basile inquires about how Eliott is doing and he suggests Lucas talk to Eliott, Lucas is a dumbass for listening to Eliott’s ex, etc. Basile says it seems like Eliott really wanted to be with Lucas, and that there are times when it will suck, but if Lucas wants to be with Eliott, he’s got to do it, you have to take people as they are. I dislike the music intruding over the end - I don’t think it’s well-timed and it feels forced - but other than that, the message is fine.

Clip 6 - Bye bye foyer

I like how Lucas and Yann are kinda cuddled into each other as they share earbuds and the couch. Lucas is still wearing his ROMANCE sweatshirt despite being deep in heartbreak. I admire his commitment to love.

There’s a little meta joke because they’re watching a show on Yann’s phone, and he says it’s episode 9, and it’s almost over. Which is of course a reference to it being episode 9 of Skam France with the season almost over, heh.

Lucas gets a text from his mom about going to confession and how God forgives those who deviate from the path as long as they come back to it. This leads into the coming out from his mom, and THAT GODDAMN TINKLY PIANO MUSIC starts up again. I do think it’s been used appropriately at times, but at other moments it feel so soap opera-ish and overly dramatic. Sometimes it seems like Skam France is a really insecure show, like how they have characters state the obvious like they were afraid the audience wouldn’t get it, or they go for the OTT music as if the writing, acting, and directing won’t be enough to elicit an emotional reaction.

I mean I realize it is Bad and Wrong to compare Skams but remember in the original version of this scene where Isak just sat and typed out this entire, very long message, and it was silent except for the cafe noises and the camera stayed still on him the whole time, because Julie trusted the audience not to fidget and for Tarjei’s acting and the importance of the scene to hold everyone’s attention? And in Skam France we get the music and the camera will not stop moving like they assume the audience is made of easily bored toddlers who need stuff swirling in front of their eyes at all times. Speaking of, WHY ALL THE FUCKING PANS, why does the camera need to move so much, whyyyyyyyy. It’s distracting and doesn’t even fit for the emotional tone of the scene, really? Like isn’t he actually pretty steady writing this to his mom? Shouldn’t the cinematography reflect that?

Lucas starts to type a text about how he met someone and don’t get mad at him, but he deletes it and just types out a message saying he’s gay, sorry if it hurts or disappoints you, see you on Friday, love you. And Lucas’ mom texts him back immediately to tell him she loves him, too, and that she’s proud of him.

Heavy sigh. I feel bad being negative about this scene because it is important and beautiful for Lucas to hear, he’s profoundly touched by his mother’s acceptance, but boy oh boy did they minimize the impact of this scene, even aside from my gripes with the cinematography and music. 

So the Religion clip was the catalyst for Isak coming out to his mom, and he specifically uses Sana’s words to come out to her. None of the S3 remakes seem to understand that clip’s importance to the Isak character except that hey, talking about religion and homosexuality is good! It aggravates me because it makes it seem like the writers missed a basic connection within the story; they think stuff just happens in the season Just Because and don’t get the cause and effect (like the generalization dialogue earlier in the season, something both France and Italia included without really seeming to get why it was there other than “the message is important”). And I mean, you can adapt the religion scene so it’s not the same! You can adapt the message, it doesn’t have to be verbatim. But not connecting the religion clip to Lucas coming out to his mom makes that relationship between Lucas and Imane less meaningful. It makes the scene more of a tangent rather than an important stepping stone in Lucas’ coming out narrative. It’s just there.

Again, I hate being sour about this but it just makes me grumpy, like I feel this is a demonstration of the differences between Skam and Skam France. Skam did this simple, quiet coming out scene where we just lingered on the actor for a while and which was built up to within the narrative by a prior scene that linked the two thematically, and which delivered the “punchline” with some excellent pacing (where Isak’s mom didn’t reply until when we least expected it, and with powerful timing and execution, when Isak most needed to hear it), and Skam France flies by this pivotal scene and does it in under two minutes like it’s getting it out of the way, with nothing remarkable about pacing and timing, but with dramatic music and camera movement.

Part of my problem is that honestly, I feel like Skam France kind of ... doesn’t care about this moment. Consider the amount of time given to Lucas’ coming out to his mom and her acceptance, versus the amount of time for the foyer stuff that takes up the rest of the clip. I feel like other than Yann’s random initial rejection, all of Lucas’ coming out stuff has been so smoothed over and easy, not just from an outsiders’ perspective, but from a personal psychological perspective. And it’s not that I expect CONSTANT TORMENT but it feels massively oversimplified, like these scenes are just obligatory. I hate to say this because I know the screenwriter is gay and I don’t want to diminish any personal anecdotes on coming out he brought to the story, whether this reflects his own experience. But I almost feel like they knew the Evak fans would flock to this season (which is true, we know with all the behind the scenes stuff and cast interviews they were doing that were blatantly to appeal to shippers) and so they allocated some screen time to getting in the shippy romantic content while pushing aside some of the pesky, less exciting stuff that doesn’t have to do with romance. Like for instance, coming out to one’s mom.

I do like that when Lucas is crying, Yann asks him if he’s OK and Lucas is just kinda like, yeah, I’m fine, and Yann smiles at him. It’s a simple, nice moment.

But here I go again. Just the fact that this incredibly pivotal and meaningful scene is cut off so we can get to the fucking common room drama?? The common room is more important that Lucas coming out to his mom?? They could have at least made the coming out moment a separate clip from the foyer stuff with the principal. It’s not like they haven’t been doing that all season, splitting up big scenes into two or more clips. (And yeah, Isak’s coming out to his mom didn’t have its own clip, but the content surrounding it was at least extremely important and concerned Isak on a very personal level, compared to the foyer stuff.)

The principal storms in and yells because the students have been snatching the Wifi. Daphne takes the blame and gets in trouble for it. Then the principal hears giggling from another room and there is the nerd dude who set up the Wifi and Chloé’s friend Maria, getting cozy on the mattress. They get up and run off when the principal yells at them. Okay, who the FUCK thought it was a good idea to put a mattress in a room behind a closed door, in a school full of hormonal teenagers??? Did you not think this is where it would lead? Idiots.

The principal is roaring mad and yells at Daphne more. What’s next, a Fight Club (lmao, I wouldn’t be surprised) or a heroin den? He singles out the mural as peak bullshit and tells the students to pack up their things. The foyer is closed. And they have to come in on Saturday to repaint the mural.

Lucas is like, no, that’s where I lost my virginity! It’s a monument to my first experience with gay sex! No, actually he just defends it as an homage to Jackson Pollock. Yann defends it more calmly, but the principal gives them both detention. Well, that’s not fair, Yann didn’t deserve that.

Imane stands in front of the principal and gives a speech about how they all participated in the mural and how it means something to them and represents their differences, difference races and sexual orientations. It shows how they can all live together. And now he wants to paint over the mural in white, of all colors? It’s a good speech not because she means it, because L M F A O they did not all paint that fucking mural, Lucas and Eliott splashed some paint on the wall before fucking against it, but because it appeals to the principal’s sense of self-preservation. Does he really want to erase the mural that represents his marginalized students and the harmony and diversity of the school? Does he really want to risk the backlash?

The principal backs down from the mural and leaves. Wait a minute. Imane didn’t actually mean that speech did she? Because lmao, this mural did not mean anything about diversity. There’s an ass print on the wall, for fuck’s sake.

I think she was definitely manipulating the principal and going over-the-top, but the issue is that the rest of the season then tries to play her words as sincere, like that’s the whole point of them standing up for the foyer in the finale, that it’s a place that brings different people together.

Anyway, they’re all sad. The foyer is closing! Daphne says there will be a solution, the others comfort and reassure her. 

Maybe because I’m in a bad mood from the coming out part of the scene but: I do not care about the foyer. Actually, I care about it a tiny bit in that Daphne would be sad if it closed and Daphne is my girl but other than that? Nah. 

And you know what? The principal had a fucking point! Multiple points! They did host a party after school hours where dozens of students broke into the school and potentially caused mess or damage. They were stealing Wifi to the point where it was slowing down the network. They did have a room with a mattress where two students were just caught in the act of trying to hook up. He was being petty about the mural, but other than that? He’s not wrong. I love Daphne but looking at it from the POV of a meanie adult, she’s enabled a lot of irresponsible actions with this foyer regardless of possible negative consequences.

But mostly? I don’t care about this. I’m weary of how the foyer has encroached on Lucas’ season the way the bus took over Sana’s season. I only gave a shit about the bus because as it meant something to Sana with reconciling her Norwegian culture with her Muslim/Moroccan culture, and because I wanted to see the girl squad have fun in the bus, not because I cared about the bus in itself and how big it is or whether it has certain features or if they can afford a bus as opposed to a van. Likewise, I care about the foyer only in how it relates to the main characters, and so far mostly it’s just Daphne’s investment in it.  Lucas’ investment in the foyer is mainly that he and Eliott did the mural and fucked there, a scene that was ridiculous in itself, so I have a hard time caring about it. 

But like … if Lucas really cared about this foyer instead of seeming just along for the ride for most of its development? It would make more thematic sense in the season. Like if he and Eliott were more actively involved in fixing up the foyer all season instead of just the mural scene, if it really represented something to them. Say he and Eliott had more meetings and flirtations in there. Or Lucas secretly crashed here when he was having problems at home. If this foyer really felt important to Lucas. Because honestly, I feel like his involvement is mostly “the girls asked him to do something and he did it because he had nothing better to do/got railroaded into it.”

He does text later that the mural is all he has left of Eliott. But the mural is now safe? The principal backed down from painting over the mural. So again … who cares.

IDK, I feel like there were so many ways this could be better. For example, if the foyer was more actively a place that represented diversity and LGBT rights and anti-racism and political activism. If the mural had some legitimate political commentary behind it, or they’d hung a pride flag somewhere and the principal came in and told them to take it down. Or maybe he just got word that a gay couple (aka Lucas and Eliott) were being snuggly in here - not that they banged, just that they were kissing and holding hands in a place that made them feel safe and welcome, and he came in to shut it down in a way that was loaded with microaggressions against them. Then the foyer would genuinely feel like something that needed to be protected. As it is, I’m just like … he’s not wrong about anything he said, lmao, and the idea that the foyer is some haven of diversity and different people coming together feels totally tacked on.

Clip 7 - Lucas’ mom is great

Lucas goes to church and meets with his mom. His mom greets him warmly and hugs him, so that’s very sweet. But it turns out Lucas’ dad isn’t coming. Mama blames it on leaving too many voicemails for him, and that she thinks he doesn’t want to see her anymore since the separation. Nah, I think Lucas’ dad is just a turd, and probably a big homophobe.

Mama says people are the way they are, you can’t try to change them, they have good qualities and their faults. We just need time to understand. So kinda similar to what Basile said earlier about taking people as they are. Lucas ponders that and they go inside the church.

I’m kinda ehhh on them using a church for this scene, considering there hasn’t been as much religious symbolism in this season? Lucas’ mom did send him Bible texts, and there was the Lucas light/dark stuff, but that didn’t seem explicitly tied to religion the way the Isak birth/rebirth stuff was through the 21:21 reference, or the baptism imagery, Even’s Halloween costume, the presence of Christmas? However, I could totally just be missing something. And I don’t think it’s wrong for them to use a church, just that I think it’s a church because it was a church in Skam, rather than because they built up the religious symbolism in this season.

Clip 8 - Run for your love

Lucas and his mom are in church. There are some shots of candles so I guess that’s a tie-in to the light/dark imagery. Or that Lucas is finally seeing the light, heh.

The mass starts and soon Lucas gets a text from Lucille about how no one can find Eliott and they’re freaking out. So Eliott himself doesn’t send Lucas a text, let alone a goodbye text. He’s totally gone off the grid.

We get a montage through Lucas and Eliott’s relationship as the priest talks about how believers can find peace and comfort in God, God gives us the strength we need. No matter your sorrow, God accepts you and you’ll never be alone because God is with you. The church is your shelter. Mixed in with the priest’s words are images of Eliott, so it comes across pretty clearly that Eliott = God in this scenario? Lucas finds peace and comfort in Eliott, he gets strength through him, he’s not alone with Eliott.

I think this would come across a bit stronger if they had built up that religious symbolism throughout the season, because otherwise the Eliott = Lucas’ God thing is a little ... random. I get that they probably just wanted the priest’s words to resonate with Lucas rather then trying to say Eliott = God as a metaphor, but it’s one of those those things where they could have subtly planted connections all along. (I don’t remember any but I’m also finishing this recap like two months later, so I could’ve forgotten something.)

The montage is kinda funny if you consider that Lucas is in church, flashing back to the better times of him boning Eliott. I mean ... who wouldn’t, really.

I enjoy Seinabo Sey and appreciate Skam France using so much of her music, but at first I wasn’t sure how I feel about this choice of song. Is it too on the nose (“I’ll remember you” for a flashback montage)? Skam used plenty of songs with lyrics that described what was happening on screen. Does it fit the church setting? Eh, I don’t think a church scene needs a religious soundtrack. So the song choice has grown on me a bit since then.

I think the reason I was somewhat hesitant about the montage is that Lucas gets a text that Eliott is missing and he just sits there for a few minutes flashing back to the good ol’ days instead of reacting immediately like oh shit, Eliott’s disappeared. Even if they’re not in a relationship, that’s still cause for concern. Whereas with Isak, he didn’t quite understand Even’s text at first; he just smiled and sat down because Even loved him and he read the text in a purely positive way. It was when he realized Even’s text was a possible suicide note that he left the church to go after him. I guess because Lucas was remembering his relationship with Eliott, he was able to figure out where Eliott might be? But still, seems like he should’ve reacted instantly to Eliott possibly being in trouble.

Lucas decides to go and tells his mom. They exchange I love yous, which is sweet and a great closing note for this relationship. The shot of him walking down the aisle feels like a direct homage to OG.

“Remember me under the sun” - OK so I guess that’s another light reference.

The growing intensity of the music is good and I was getting into the scene but dear lord, the slow mo of Lucas running is ABSURD. Why did this turn into Chariots of Fire all of a sudden? Why is Lucas running through the actual street and not the sidewalk, he’s going to get by a car!

OH MY GOD HE ALMOST DID GET HIT BY A CAR, WHY WAS THAT NECESSARY, I STARTED LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

Like was that some outtake where Axel Auriant almost got mowed down because they asked him to run in the fucking street and they decided to keep it in for the ~drama? Talk about a mood killer.

I do like that Lucas knew where to go because he knew it was a place special to Eliott, and to the two of them. And that he found Eliott in the dark and that Lucas brings the light on both of them (literally, with his cell phone). Maxence does a nice job of crying and looking heartbroken.

This scene isn’t bad (except for the running and almost getting hit by the car…. why) but it does makes me think the remakes really need to start from scratch with the climax of this season. Not just recreate an O Helga Natt-ish clip with similar setting, music, dialogue, or story beats, but to look independently at what the themes of the season are - not OG, their season - and then build up something that’s consistent with that. That’s a big part of why O Helga Natt is such a masterpiece: It ties together Isak’s main lessons throughout the season, as well as paying off foreshadowing and incorporating multiple motifs and threads of symbolism that have been developed along the way. 

So for example, just a small observation: Lucas tells Eliott he’s not alone anymore. Which is of course a line from O Helga Natt, and a line that does have a powerful meaning in this context. I’m not saying it’s a bad line in the slightest. But in O Helga Natt, Isak was saying it as a direct response to Even’s text message, in which he says “everyone is alone anyway.” And also in response to something Even said back in episode 5, about “the brain is alone” and being alone with your thoughts and the only way to escape is death. And to some degree in the hotel clip when Even said the alone way to have something forever was to lose it, just after they were talking about Isak and Even in infinite universes, as if Even was talking about losing Isak and being alone. It was established that Even had a fear of being alone. Here, Eliott does not send Lucas a text, so “You’re not alone anymore” is not a direct response to anything. And I don’t remember Eliott saying anything about being alone in episode 5, having that line of Even’s, or in episode 8 (Again, I took a long break between recaps so it’s very possible I just forgot Eliott’s prior comments about being alone to Lucas, feel free to remind me.) So while the line is sweet and supportive and powerful, IMO it lacks the extra punch that Isak’s “You’re not alone” did simply because Skam’s writing was tighter. I mean ... if Isak hadn’t said “You’re not alone,” would Lucas have said it to Eliott? Might he have said something else relevant to their relationship, rather than recreating an existing iconic line? I don’t know if I’m explaining myself clearly, and I truly don’t mean to make a mountain out of a molehill, because the line is perfectly fine here. It’s just that I think the remakes need to not lean on O Helga Natt so much, and instead rely on their own ingredients in the season to craft this climactic scene, if they want to create something with the most impact.

Social Media/General Comments:

Lucas doesn’t text Mika after the boat clip, he texts Manon. Which seems completely in line with those relationships, in my opinion. Isak texting Eskild and Eskild dropping everything to go home after the hotel is a testament to that relationship’s strength, but Lucas and Mika still don’t seem to have that degree of closeness, even if their relationship has gotten stronger. It’s Manon who Lucas seems closest to, the one who can cry with him and sit in silence together just for comfort. 

However, Lucas doesn’t give Manon the details or even imply something is wrong in his text to her; he writes a (typo-filled) draft where he explains what happened on the boat and then deletes it. I’m assuming he told her afterwards, but this is a really good detail! Skam France and other remakes sometimes miss innovative ways to use social media to enhance the story, and I think this small touch is quite clever. Lucas is shaken and distraught after the boat and writes this messy draft of a text to Manon, spilling everything, but he deleted it and went with a neutral text, holding back the information. The reason I think he deleted his explanatory text is not just because of how messed up it was, but because writing out everything - Eliott disappeared, he’s bipolar - would make it more real, and Lucas cannot handle that it the moment, it’s too much.

Mika sends Lucas a link to a sad song, for help with his wallowing, I guess. Maybe not the best thing to send tbh, but it was kindly meant. And Lucas posted on his IG story that he was listening to it, so perhaps it helped him.

The pity party was documented quite well on IG. I wonder what Eliott thought if he saw any of it? Lucas drunk and dancing ... could go “he’s upset” or “he’s glad to be rid of me” which tbh I could see happening in a depressed mindset.

Eliott posted colors to his IG - like just colors - and deleted them really fast. Which is another good use of social media here, possibly to illustrate his changing moods, to hint at his mindset (like his depression being just a dark gradient) I’m kind of like ... why didn’t they do something like this last week to hint at his mania?

Lucas contacted Eliott via text, saying he wanted to see him or talk. That would’ve been good to see in a clip, really.

People using Imane’s BS speech on IG to promote the common room cause = LMAO.

Lucas says the mural is all he has left of Eliott, which is at least some reason he’d care about protecting it and the foyer. The boys encourage him to go to Eliott’s place, and Lucas is hesitant, saying he was told to stay away. However, then there’s an IG story of Lucas outside Eliott’s building. 

Lol, OK, that’s something that definitely would be better as a clip rather than a stalker-y IG post. I mean, when you think about it, isn’t it kind of weird for him to broadcast that to the world? I guess he hoped Eliott would see it and know Lucas cares and wants to talk to him?

But sooo many questions. Like ... did Lucas try to ring the bell or contact Eliott while he was there ... or did he just stand looking up at his window like a creep ... how long was he standing there ... I don’t think they thought this one through. Yeah, absolutely should have been an actual clip so we know what the hell happened. 

Ok I realize it is sooooo after the fact, and regarding this topic that has already been discussed to death, I hate to come back with another rant like AND ANOTHER THING!!!! but at some point I came to another realization about why Yann’s reaction to Lucas’ coming out is bad and stupid and I wanted to get it out because it has been bugging me.

Yann’s reaction is bad and stupid because the “you weren’t honest with me/told everyone else but me” reaction is often fake and disingenuous. Like I hate to generalize and I’m sure that somewhere in the history of the world, someone has genuinely been hurt that their friend came out to other people before them, but also, sorry, I don’t think it’s a common authentic reaction. It’s a smokescreen for homophobia. 

So let’s talk about Please Like Me. Please Like Me is one of my favorite non-Skam shows ever. Like Skam S3, its protagonist, Josh, is a young gay man just accepting that he is gay and coming out (although he’s older than Isak). Like Isak, Josh has a mentally ill mother. Like Skam S3, Josh gets into a relationship with a mentally ill person. It’s less idealistic and more painful than Skam, but still completely worth a watch, I highly recommend checking it out.

At one point in Please Like Me, Josh goes with his boyfriend, Arnold, to Arnold’s birthday party with Arnold’s family. Arnold is not out to his family yet and is planning to come out to them at the party. However, in a previous episode Arnold told his friends that his dad has said he doesn’t like gay people and told Arnold to quit singing in a choir because people would think he was a (homophobic slur) and beat him up. So, Arnold’s dad is an established homophobic asshole!

At the party, Arnold announces to his family that he’s gay and dating Josh. Arnold’s brother and mom are like “Yeah, we knew,” which is not the best thing to say but they’re overall chill and supportive. Meanwhile, Arnold’s dad stands there with a sour look on his face. When he does finally speak, he says that he’s been “backed into a corner” - presumably because the rest of family supports Arnold, and because they have other guests with them looking expectantly at him waiting for him to say he’s OK with Arnold being gay. Like he’s basically saying he doesn’t have the freedom to react negatively. You know, something a total non-homophobe would say! Then he starts going in on Arnold for lying to him, and saying the biggest problem is that Arnold didn’t feel he could be honest with him. (Then he knocks over a croquembouche.) Arnold’s dad leaves, but not before telling his wife that Arnold should be gone when he gets back.

Why am I bringing up Please Like Me? Because Please Like Me, created-written-directed-acted by real-life gay man Josh Thomas, is smart enough to recognize that homophobes often direct their disapproval into other excuses to be upset when someone comes out. Arnold’s dad didn’t stand there and rant about how homosexuality is wrong or gross. He didn’t say anything about homosexuality at all. Instead, he funneled his feelings into the weaselly excuse of “you weren’t honest with me.” (This right after Arnold has said, in his coming out speech, that his best chance at happiness is to be honest. Honesty in this case acknowledging he’s gay and has a boyfriend.) But let’s be real: if that were the case, if Arnold’s dad were upset about the lying rather than his son’s sexuality, would he really get that angry? Enough to effectively kick his son out of the house? To knock over a goddamn croquembouche? No, this scene is obviously about a father being pissed that his son is gay. But he feels “backed into a corner” and it’s not like he can say he’s upset that his son is gay in front of everyone else, in front of the guests, his son’s boyfriend, his wife and other son who have known for a long time and are fine with it.  

Circling back to Skam France: we had Yann upset enough with Lucas coming out to him, for Totally Non-Homophobic Reasons, to walk away from him because he was hurt Lucas didn’t come out to him first. And I do believe the writer intended for Yann to not be homophobic at all! But it’s such a shitty, cheap excuse for drama, such a flimsy rationale for Yann’s reaction, one that doesn’t fit his prior behavior at all, that frankly, it pings too close to a smokescreen. Like Skam France is trying to pass off this blatantly artificial reaction as genuine. If someone reacted like this IRL, my gut feeling would be that they were a fucking homophobe. They’re most likely homophobic but aware that openly saying bad things about gay people, openly expressing their disapproval, is not a good look for them. Or they’re homophobic but trying to tell themselves they’re not by channeling their disappointment into other reasons that don’t rely on discomfort with homosexuality. It’s completely plausible and even probable for people to have some homophobic hangups under the surface, that in theory they were OK with gay people but when your best friend is staring you in the face telling you he’s in love with another man, those hangups might suddenly rise up.

And if somehow we give these reactions the benefit of the doubt, that someone is truly upset because “you lied to me” or “you didn’t tell me first?” - that person’s still a selfish asshole. Think about it. Your friend is confessing an extremely vulnerable secret about themselves, something that may have caused them great internal stress and pain, and you’re mad that they didn’t tell you sooner? Fuck off. 

Anyway. The point I’m making is: in a Doylist sense, I think Yann’s reaction is not homophobic. The Skam France team really didn’t think of it that way. In a Watsonian sense, I call bullshit. Yann walking off during the coming out scene is most plausible if Yann actually had a homophobic reaction to Lucas’ coming out, and needed some time to process it before accepting Lucas’ sexuality. His explanation to Lucas is weak and unlikely. If it is true, that makes Yann a self-centered asshole. I know people don’t react perfectly and obviously Yann stepped the fuck up for Lucas afterwards but let’s acknowledge it for what it is, prioritizing one’s entitlement to someone else’s deepest, most painful secrets over their comfort and safety in keeping those secrets. 

To be clear, I don’t hate Yann, not at all, and I attribute this mess solely to bad writing. It’s one of those things where the intent is different from the finished product. In analysis of Yann or Skam France or whatever, I’d acknowledge the intended purpose of that creative decision to make Yann walk away. But I’m also acknowledging that this creative decision is some stupid shit, lmao. And I’m aware the screenwriter is gay, and for all I know this is based on personal experience, but for now this scenario feels fake and manufactured only for drama, and inauthentic to how people would genuinely think and react in these scenarios. Someone who walks out on their friend when said friend comes out is probably homophobic to some degree, or else self-centered as fuck. Simple as that.

I am not French, so please feel free to correct me on any translation or cultural notes that I missed.

Like I said, I took a break from recaps, so I also might have forgotten certain details of this season, feel free to remind me of any of those, too!

If you got this far - and if you are still reading this after all this time - thank you very much, I love you!

[shesawriter39049]

“PRIVATE SESSIONS” BTS OT7 (M) MULTI MEMBER ONE SHOT SERIES

“PRIVATE SESSIONS” BTS OT7 (M) MULTI MEMBER ONE SHOT SERIES

INTRODUCTION- “BANGTAN X Y/N”

- (There is still a lil smut in this as well as smut and kinks are discussed, But this is also the backstory because the other installments just jump right into it.. )

Part 1..AKA the first “Private Session”  will pick up where this ends with Y/N X “___” see if you can guess which member it is by end of this. It’s 4k all of the instalments will be around 3K..pretty much straight to the point..smut with a a mini backstory/scenario...each member will get there own….

P.S - I wrote this intro a month or ago and forgot about it..if you guys want part 1 that will come early Feb!

INTRO -BANGTAN X Y/N -1/16/19

PART 1- UP 

“Oh my god…yes..” Your cry wasn’t even audible as you pressed your face into the glass, nails clawing at his clothed thighs, surprised you actually didn’t rip a hole straight through ..as pure pleasure rang through your ears feeling yourself drip down your thighs. The firm grip he held around your neck, almost knocking the wind out of you as he rolled his hips into you.. deeper..teeth grazing the skin beneath your neck “Louder..” The command coming out in the form of a growl coursed through your veins as his opposite hand connected to your clit almost making your knees buckle. You were already so swollen and beyond sensitive as the wind nipped against your skin..blowing your hair away from your neck..cooling over the heat that was streaming down your body..”I said..LOUDER..let everybody hear you..let everyone know how good I’m fucking you, and how wet, your pussy gets for me..fuck baby your so wet..”

 Let’s rewind a little shall we?

 If someone would’ve told you 6 months ago you’d be on a balcony in Tokyo… at 1am with “____”’s hand around your throat..while your face was pressed against a glass window,a good oh I don’t know…20 stories up….you’d think they were high as fuck. I mean for good reason, don’t get me wrong…you were attractive..clearly..that’s why the boys ended up with your number. But you weren’t an idol…some famous youtuber ..or an IG model..you were just Y/N a 24 year old Real estate agent from Chicago.That somehow fell down the black hole that is BTS..you told yourself you were too old to be a fangirl again…but clearly that didn’t last long. You won a contest through IHEARTRADIO to attend a private showcase with the boys. There was barley 100 fans there..an opportunity to attend a show THAT intimate with a band of this caliber was almost unheard of. There was also a separate drawing for 10 fans to get a 10 minute meet and greet, to talk and take pictures…well you went last and your meet and greet actually lasted almost a half hour. The boys clicked with you instantly. The main thing they loved was the fact that you able to just dick around with them like they were normal guys. On top of the fact that even though they didn’t admit it initially..they found you so inticising.The perfect combination of all the things they weren’t use to in the bubble they lived in and that sealed the deal! By the end of the meet and greet Namjoon had your number..not holding your breath he’d even ever use it…well little did you know that would open the door to a million possibilities. All thanks to a group chat that was created and used regularly “Bangtan X Y/N” the conversations were not typically long and sometimes they made no damn sense..sending random memes back and forth..Tae sending pics of clothes he wanted to buy…Kookie sending you weird ass shit he finds in tourist shops.. Hell sometimes you’d even ask them advice on guys or what to wear on a date. At times you may only talk once a week..and it may take each member more time than others to respond but they always did and you guys actually created a genuine friendship…Believe it or not…the conversations also NEVER turned sexual up until this point.

 You slowly but surely earned their trust, after talking to you for a while they realized you weren’t looking for anything from them. You never pried for personal information…asked for free tickets..sneak peeks of music, the rare occasions you’d meet them, they’d offer to pay and you’d be ready to damn near cut their balls off. You let them decided what they did or didn’t wanna share, weather that be what they ate for lunch, or how completely exhausted and stressed they were, the ball was always in there court.  More importantly you didn’t walk on eggshells with them nor did you ever hold your tongue because of who they were and they loved that. It just felt honest…due to their busy schedule and you just having your own damn life, within this 6 month period..you’d only seen them 2 times.The meet and greet in the summer..and about 2 months after that when they went to New York…the boys have been begging you to come back out but you just couldn’t find the time. This has probably been your busiest, but most successful year as an agent but due to you just getting to the point where you were making steady money and had some cushion in the bank..you didn’t have a assistant yet so you were doing it all yourself.

Financially it would kind of be a waste of money to travel overseas unless you could stay at least 2 weeks! Your pride wouldn’t let them cover your flight…lord knows they offered…instead you just settled for them smothering you in all the wine and sushi your heart desired. Finally deciding in January, you’d go see your Bangtan boys.. now here you are almost 4 months later in Tokyo..

The boys were about to start the last leg of the tour in about 10 days…just wanting a break..they rented out a pretty nice penthouse suite at the Ritz Carlton Tokyo for a couple days. Setting up a studio space so they could throw around some ideas for there new project..in a more laxed atmosphere. To be honest you were kind of playing the whole thing by ear, you had a couple friends that lived abroad. As far as the boys were concerned, besides just hanging out in their suite, they wanted you to at least attended one show before you left! They were also determined to find a way to get you backstage at a couple events they had coming up without Bighit busting a nut..but you weren’t holding your breath on that one. Honestly you weren’t too concerned though, you had other things to do outside of seeing the boys anyway. Already going into this with the understanding that for one they’re still pretty busy, so whatever time you got you wouldn’t complain..and two this wasn’t LA things had to be done hella low key over here. Which is why you were treating this as moreso a vacation which you desperately needed and they were just a bonus. Your plan was to stay at your hotel for 3 days..then crash with friends….you actually only bought your ticket to Tokyo…not really sure where you’d end up by the end of it! Perks to being an agent is you were your own boss, you made your own schedule. Actually just closing a deal before leaving so once that check cleared that covered next months bills.So in all honesty you weren’t sure when you’d be back in the states. I mean shit, you’ve been busting your ass for the past 2 years trying to get to this point you deserve a break too!

It was about 8 at night, you landed a couple hours prior but jetlag knocked you flat on your ass, you were staying in the same hotel just about 8 floors down.Your body was slowly starting to stir naturally, but the extra push came from the fact that you fell asleep with your headphones in ..and Taehyung was calling you.The sudden blast against your ear drums almost making you roll off the bed completely before you realized what was happening. Clicking the answer button not even waiting for you to say hello “We literally ordered you every piece of sushi on the menu, you should probably get your ass up here before Kookie eats it all, I can only hold him off for so long!” The base… in this man’s voice, holyshit…it was rare you guys talked on the phone, due to you being on completely opposite time schedules the majority of the time. To be honest..hearing him..remembering he was so close almost made you nervous. Which threw you off initially, because in all honesty by now you typically felt very comfortable when you talked to them. But, again let’s get real..this was still BTS regardless of how down to earth they are…that still doesn’t change the aura they have! I think because you guys were always texting from so far away it almost made you feel like this was all a fantasy..I mean it’s been months… now they were literally upstairs waiting for you.

 You couldn’t help but let out a snort as you rubbed your eyes,vision still foggy “Such a baby ..” your tone slightly groggy due to just waking up “Aww,I told you she was probably sleeping good job Tae!” You knew that was Jimin, his voice was a little softer..he just always sounds so…I don’t know..relaxed? You couldn’t help but smile always such a sweetheart! But before you could even say anything...“Well I mean in his defense it’s like 8 at night…sooo…” You also knew that sarcastic growl anywhere “Fuck you Yoongi…” the clap back came instant with zero hesitation or thought behind it. The two of you had a very love hate relationship. Of course it was playful but you two gave each other shit 24/7. You heard them all erupt in laughter almost in unison..and the smile on your face stretched even wider. “Okay but forreal, my tolerance for food is non existent..and this foods already been here about 5 minutes you got another 60 seconds before I start eating without you!” There he was..the world’s favorite brat..-”Ignore him babe, he’s not touching a damn thing until you get up here..” It was slightly muffled..I think he was kinda far away but you already knew who it was..too…Hoseok and Namjoon were the only ones who called you by a pet name, had since they met you.  You felt your face get hot, almost forgetting how good that sounds in person “Thank you Hobi..alright give me like 5 minutes..someone text me the room number..hey wait..where’s Jonnie and Jin!?” It almost felt like you could feel his laugh the rumble…sat so low…you already knew he was probably sitting there looking boyfriend as fuck with those deep ass dimples “I’m here princes..Jin’s asleep..he’s not feeling so good. I’ll text you the room number..take your time..” - “Don’t listen to him..I’m hungry!”- “Oh my god Kookie shut up! She just said she’s coming! Your not gonna die!” It was clear Namjoon was about done with Jungkook for the night, his tone was as dry as can be  “You don’t know that..then YOU’D have to explain to ARMY what happened” You couldn’t help but scoff at how dramatic this boy was..but also you were damn near in tears from listening to them bicker back in fourth. “God forbid you die of starvation..alright Kookie, I’ll be there in a minute..bye guys!”

 Sitting on the edge of the bed trying to contemplate what to do…not wanting to overdo it because they knew you just woke up but I mean come on…you couldn’t look like you just woke up either! Throwing on a pair of high waisted leggings, they were comfy and you know they made your ass look good, and a loose black cropped cut up band tee. Running some tinted brow gel though your brows, a orangey bronzer on your cheeks for blush, and some gloss,being oh so thankful for lash extensions. You looked wayyy more put together than you really were.. putting your hair in high ponytail, pulling out a couple pieces around your face. A couple spritz of perfume and you were out the door, taking in a couple slow breaths before knocking on there door. Shaking off any nerves that were suddenly moving up your throat. “You got this girl…you got this..” giving yourself a well needed pep talk before letting your knuckles meet the door. You instantly heard the commotion from there room and it didn’t take long for you to hear the door unlatch. Letting out one more deep exhale, before you faced whoever was behind it.  Once the door opened you knew you were done, Namjoon’s eyes met yours, you watched them crinkle as he smiled down at you..those dimples!! THOSE DIMPLES!! And he looked good, they all looked and smelled so good…no makeup..skin glowing..looking boyfriend as fuck. The jeans,sweatpants..backwards snapbacks..foreheads exposed there were foreheads…foreheads everywhere! This was just a lot for one person to take in, you low key were feelin kinda attacked and I don’t blame you! ! Feeling like you almost had to squeez your thighs together as you walked in the room..…Once you entered you were greeted by warm smiles and even warmer hugs, each of their individual scent hitting your nose as they pulled you into there frame. Each touch was different, the embrace..how long it lingered, to be honest you almost could predict how it would go. The way each member hugged you almost reflected the way they interacted with you via text.

 About a hour went by..you found yourself on the couch sandwiched between Hoseok and Jimin, legs rested on Jimin’s lap while you guys ate sushi and drunk wine. Jimin’s hand casually resting on your thigh as he ate, yes..Park Jimin….had his hand.. On. Your .Thigh. What is life right now?? Not to mention the boys not knowing what personal space is, and just being total sweethearts, there was certain foods that you obviously aren’t familiar with. Not only did they explain it but they fed it to you..like the way you see them feed each other in Vlives….yeah. I don’t think you’d ever get the visual of Kim Taehyung putting a piece of sushi in your mouth, then licking the left over eel sauce off his finger..out of your head..

All of the nervous energy you felt on your way up here was completely gone, it was crazy how comfortable you felt around them! The conversation was pretty random and all over the place, just like your group chat. The boys more so wanting to hear about how you’ve been, they were very fascinated in your line of work, especially Yoongi and Hoseok. Once you finished eating the room fell  silent..which you didn’t mind until you noticed the mischievous smirk on Jungkook’s face. While Namjoon passed out tiramisu for dessert. “Kookie..what the holy hell is that face!?” Kicking up your brow in curiously while Yoongi randomly erupted in laughter, the tone alone was suspect.. and at this point you had to know what was up. Your eyes shot to Taehyung’s, because you knew he’d cave! Letting out a slow huff before setting his plate down. You could tell he wanted to smile though so it couldn’t be that bad right? “Wellll…” purposely being an ass and dragging it out knowing damn well you were dying over there “WELL!?” your tone?…yeah..not so chill…smacking the pillow that was currently in your lap. At this point you guys were almost 2 bottles deep so your patience was nonexistent..“Well she’s not very patient..” Yoongi teased with a smirk, as he licked his lips and suddenly the pillow that was on your lap was flying halfway across the room “Alright,alright I’ll tell you just don’t throw anything at me next….So last night..Kook kinda sorta found your tumblr….” The words came out slow, as his tongue teased the corner of his lip, his eyes tracing yours carefully waiting to see how you’d respond. The room was dead silent at first, and well to be fair you didn’t see the big deal, it was a mix of makeup fashion, sex and BTS. Your eyes scanned the room with a slight shrug “Oohhkayyy..” You let your words drag out making it very clear that you were obviously missing the punchline…”Right..but like..we were bored… so we went…kindaaaaa far back…” Hoseok glanced down at you as he stuffed his face, and then my friend…there it was…your eyes went wide in pure terror once it clicked. “Oh fuckkkkk” I think you actually wheezed and curled into a ball..have you ever seen a rollie pollie curl up into a ball? Well yeah that was you!

 See…back in the day your BTS content had no chill, not only did you reblog smut but your tags..were on a whole nother level! Everything from Jimin’s thick neck,, to wanting Taehyung to tie you up with his Gucci headband,and do whatever the fuck he wanted, sitting on Jimin’s face, having Hoseok fuck you in front of a mirror, Yoongi’s tongue game, Namjoons daddy kink, Junkooks sub switch! Yeah girl you were ugh..mortified to say the least. “Oh fuck me!!”  This time It almost came out as a screech as your face fell into Hoseok’s lap, and they all cackled so loud it was unreal. You felt him massage your shoulder trying to put you at ease..but there was no way..no way… “Oh don’t worry I screenshot some of my favorites..serious question..please explain to me the sexual attraction to Jimin’s.. In your words “ Thick ass neck..daddy yassssssss” Yoongi breathed out, the emphies on the “Yasss” had you limp to say the least…at least the boys found this hilarious because all you could hear in the background was cackling while you felt like you were dying! “Wait one more time Yoongi?” Hoseok breathed out with a snort and you lightly nipped at his thigh with your teeth..causing him to make a noise that you damn sure weren’t ready for, because you felt that shit in more places than one. “Yassssssssssss” Yoongi breathed out one more time in a high pitched tone. All you could do was flick him off..not even able to raise our head at this point! You felt Jimin start to rub your thigh, his way of letting you know you were fine. It was clear the post from the past couple months, since you’ve met them..they haven’t been as..intense. Probably because now that you know them..it made it kinda weird..but at the end of the day you were a fangirl..that’s how you guys met and they were on YOUR tumblr! So once you got over the initial shock…meh it is what it is!

 Taehyung crawled over to you, taking your face in his hands, trying to make you look up at him . Pressing his forehead to yours..and now you really weren’t going to open your eyes. “I’m not moving until you look at me …hey..do I need to go get my Gucci headband ?” His tone was playful, it was clear he just wanted to make sure you were good….but to be honest the threat sounds more like a sinful tease. His voice barely above a whisper,breath hitting your skin, a mixture of white wine and coffee from the tiramisu.His hands felt so soft against your skin it was unreal, you fluttered your eyes open, and he smiled back at you…”There’s our girl!” Pulling back from you, rocking back on the floor. No matter how embarrassed you were..hearing him say that..”Our girl..”..had you feeling..of course at ease but also slightly turned on? Yet you couldn’t help but whine as you readjusted our ponytail your face felt like it was on fire…”Why does everyone think I have a mirror kink? I mean it’s true but what about me says that?” Hoseok’s brows furrowed, in confusion as he licked the whipped cream off his fork.. In which a scoff left your lips without even realizing “Ghee I don’t know maybe because your a dancer and spend a lot of time in a studio..and I mean as a dancer your a perfectionist..so in theory you like to watch yourself..hmm..I knew that was spot on!” Glancing over at him, voice playfully flirtatious,, but the look this man gave you in return..you just…no you weren’t ready for it. It was like he went from being Jhope to Jay, tongue slowly sliding against his plump bottom lip. As a smirk moved up his face, before causally returning his glance to the pastry on his plate. It was like he knew he knocked the wind outta you for a moment, and that alone was enough for him to be content just knowing he could if he wanted too. It just hit you how turned on you suddenly were…as sassy as you could be you loved a man that was dominant…and you already knew this man was dom AF I mean come on   “Well it didn’t take long for her sassy ass to shake off acting shy and embarrassed..Yo..Jimin..man are-are you taking pictures of your neck!? “Yoongi’s face was priceless as he leaned up from his chair, trying to get a better look and you could help but snort, whipping your head around to see for yourself . All he did was shrug nonchalant..no shame…”Actually I’m looking at it in my camera…ya know I never realized it but I actually do have a really nice neck” Nodding in approval at his own reflection, as he should because the boy was fine…. “Wooowww…Jin would be proud…” Namjoon just rolled his eyes as he let his glance meet yours “Where just giving you a hard time honestly..we’ve seen wayyy crazier, its normal and at the end of the day..it comes with the territory. Part of being a idol is being a fantasy. I mean shit it’s part of why they don’t like us to date..nothing’s changed on our end so I really hope your not like freaking out about this…” His whole delivery was warm, and even though the atmosphere made you feel at ease and you kinda already knew they were just giving you shit, but it still felt good to hear him say it!

 You smiled back at him, almost getting lost for a moment as he held your gaze in the palm of his hands…”Also I mean this all seems pretty spot on..especially you reblogging all these text post about Jungkook being a bratty sub..” Taehyung teased letting his eyes cut over to Kook’s but he did NOT seem amused, actually he was quiet this whole time. Kinda had you wondering if he was feeling uncomfortable..or upset..you weren’t sure you just knew something didn’t seem right with him. The boys seemed to just shoe it off but you didn’t like it..”So….I have a question…how do you go from I guess…having all those..”Fantasies”.. to just suddenly shutting those thoughts off? I mean granted were all friends now..so it would probably be hard for you to separate the two if the oppert-” The look on your face made Yoongi stop talking altogether “What do you mean it would be hard to seperate the two? Are you assuming women can’t just fuck for the sake of pleasure? Have you never heard of one and done…or What? Are you assuming your dicks so good that I’ll turn into a sasaeng tumblr and not be able to be your friend anymore?” Cocking your head to the side as you kicked your brow up..voice dripping in sass..and you heard all the other boys let out a snort. You personally weren’t able to catch all there reactions but let’s just say even though they didn’t expect you to say that they were impressed that you did. The fact that you didn’t seem like you were intimated by the sudden change of pace as far as the conversation was concerned, but hey..you’re all adults right? Clearly your statement caught Yoongi off guard as he as actually speechless. His eyes were challenging you though …that’s for damn sure,it  felt like his eyes were fucking you right there..head leaning to the side slightly, his gaze becoming more of a smolder..you started a fire with this one. Letting his tongue dance along his bottom lip as his finger..traced the rim of his glass. Clearing his throat before responding “Well I mean from these post it seems like your more curious as to what my tongue can do as opposed to my dick but hey..”  Leaning back slightly your face clearly reflecting that you were a little taken aback, but also impressed by his response..because again none of you ever had these types of conversations together before . I mean let’s get real they’re grown ass man but of course this isn’t a side of the boys the world got to see. IDOL world is completely different, more…tamed I guess you could say. They don’t talk about sex and girls the way some American artist can so freely, so this was brand new territory and you loved it.. ..His tone was so coy and laxed that all you could do was nod in agreeance the look on your face said “Touche”  Not sure if it was the liquid courage or if this was just the way they were behind closed doors but you had no complaints. There was something really sexy, knowing that it appears some of the fantsities you as fans think the boys are into might be true. The fact that they can be one way to world..and completely different behind closed doors had your skin on fire. I mean of course you see hints of it on stage and let your mind wander else were but fuck..it’s a whole other experience hearing it first hand, your panties were done for at this point.

 You watched the other boys go completely wide eyed at Yoongi’s comment…not surprised but surprised he took it there. Especially Namjoon as he glanced back at him “Oh please don’t even start bra master “ sticking out your tongue playfully as you successfully made him cringe at the reference .Out of habit,the conversation started breaking out in their native tongue briefly before they caught themselves. Switching back to English seamlessly  so you didn’t feel awkward… “Hyung I still Believe you just said that out loud! Damn I guess you’re officially the 8th member of BTS, because we don’t talk like this around anybody..but each other..” Jimin’s  eyes met yours smiling up at him, feeling pretty damn, good because one that means they were genuinely comfortable with you, and two, I mean fuck what girl wouldn’t love to talk kink fantasys  with the people there actually about. Especially because they kinda seem to be into it, I mean shit if that’s not something, to get yourself off to at night then I don’t know what is! Yet, through all this you couldn’t help but still glance back over at Jungkook . He was just so removed while the rest of you were having a ball, and that’s just not like him! “Hey I think I’m gonna go lay down..I just got really tired for some reason….” His eyes met Namjoons before he excused himself…”Night Kookie…” glancing over at him because it was clear he want going to speak..”Night…” Scrunching in your nose at how dry that response was ….

 You 10:30pm : Okay…what the fucks your deal????

PART 1 

BTW- I will also note this in part 1, as well as it’s kinda discussed at the end of part 1. These “Sessions” will not be rushed..in my mind this spans the last couple months of tour so Jan-April. Y/N gets to Tokyo Jan 1st btw, in all honesty in the two week period of her vacation I will probably only have her hook up with 2 of the guys and put a break in between for the others. It will be reference at the end of part 1 “If any other situations come up naturally in the future..and you choose to indulge, that’s completely up to you, but that dose NOT affect our dynamic”

[migleefulmoments]

Can you make sense of the gibberish ajw is ranting about Ben and the song Darren sang? Darren sang his friends song, its nice, not some secret message to the CCers! Fucking psychos.

Watching her- and her cohorts- lose their collective shit over Darren’s comments about Ben is rich entertainment because literally nothing he said was inconsistent with previous statements or what was obvious if you were just seeing pics of Darren, Mia and Ben by following D-CrissNews. 

Let’s break it all down:

First the HELP sweater which ajw brought up in this post:

And Tonight, on the final night of LMDC, D threw some series shade singing a song by his platonic roomie Ben/ny. Oh these lyrics, I’d say he is singing to someone very specific while wearing this Help Sweater 

(First I have to bring up the fact that breaking up Be/nny is beyond the usual level of stupidity. His name isn’t Benny-nobody will Google his as “Benny” and stumble on their vial blogs or whatever ridiculous rationale they give for do/ing thi/s). The idea that someone as well connected and well liked as Darren Criss would need to wear a “HELP” graphic on his shirt in order to get aid is.. well pat/hetic....bi/zarre and ridicul/ous. If Darren’s life was so pathetic that he had to resort to sending T-shirt-graphic smoke signals into the world in hopes that random strangers would send help... but remember- THE Contract is unbreakable, unreachable, a NIIIGGGHHHTTTMMMMAAARRRE- so all the “HELP” signal could possibly do is bring attention to his private struggles. Suddenly the entire world would know that what a spineless dwerp that Darren is; he can't even manage to end a contract with a show that has been over for 4 years and he keeps signing contracts for PROMOTION with MIa. 

First of all, he is super private- he even mentions that again during this monologue- he isn’t going to share a HELP signal this way. He know Obama for God’s sake..and Ryan Murphy, and just about everyone in LA. I’m sure he knows a lawyer or two. Second, he’s worn the sweater before and it clearly didn’t bring help so why the hell would he keep wearing it for that reason. Oh, wait, I know... maybe Ryan Murphy saw it and that is why he has taken on Darren as his muse and signed another alleged contract with him because THIS,  THIS is the time he is going to set Darren free. 

Darren pointed out for everyone too obtuse to get the reference (***cough CCers cough****) he wore the Beatles graphic because HE IS IN ENGLAND and at the end of the day, he’s always just a fanboy.

Darren goes on to talk about Ben:  “...I don’t talk about- I don’t post a lot of stuff about my life on the internet but he has been a very dear friend of mine for many, many years, just really close to the fam...he became one of my closets friends and even lived in my house for many years”. 

@ajw’s panties twisted in delight when he said that because she glopped on to the idea that Ben and Mia lived together under Darren’s nose or while Darren’s was with Chris a long time ago. The most obvious point is that Darren is speaking in reverence and sharing a story he admits is something he normally doesn’t share easily. If Ben was Mia’s boy-toy, WHY would Darren talk about him at all? How could he be one of Darren’s closet friends? If Mia is as ever as CCers pretend she is, how could Darren be BFFs with Ben? He would HATE Ben and what he represented..unless he likes being a cuck.  

But conspiracy theory “fact finding” isn’t about what is logical or even makes sense when looked at from a different angle. It is about finding a connection and running with it and  illuminate CrissColfer confirmed.

I cannot imagine how Darren, playing Ben’s song in Birmingham is “shade”...maybe the tinhatters need to look up the meaning of “shade”. Choosing Ben’s song was done to honor Ben, and we know that because he talked about it before he started singing! 

The CCers published the lyrics:

Beauty is in the eyeBeauty is in the eyeThankyou for this kissIt’s all I really wantedIf you believe that darlingThen you’d better runThankyou for this kissThankyou for this kissSo beauty is in the eye of the beholderIf you believe thatDarling I’m looking at youIf you believe thatDarling I’m looking at youGo on believing thatBut darling you’d better runYou’ll never be a cover girlJust facing factsYour face isn’t rightBut I’ll never want another girlNow I’ve seen you in this lightThankyou for this kissThankyou for this kissThankyou for this kissIt’s all I really wantedIf you believe that darlingYou’d better runIf you believe that darlingThen you’d better run, runCause you’ll never be a cover girlJust facing factsYour face isn’t rightBut I’ll never wantNever want a cover girlNow I’ve seen you in this lightYour never be a cover girlJust facing factsYour face isn’t rightBut I’ll never want, never needA cover girlNow I’ve seen you in this lightI’ll never be, never be a gentlemanJust facing factsMy face isn’t rightAnd you’ll never want, never wantA gentlemanNow you’ve seen me in that lightI’ll never be a gentlemanJust facing factsMy face isn’t rightYou’ll never want a gentlemanWhen you see me in this light

Frankly, the lyrics are stupid AF. But cheeky and ultimately it is a song about never wanting anyone else. Not sure how that is shade.

Finally, Ajw losing her shit over Darren repeating that Ben lived in his house for many years. 

Hey stans, Be/nny lived in D’s house for “many, many years” are you listening?  That is many, many not a man who just crashed there.

Glorious shade as D signs his good, good friend’s song.  It is a little cheeky:)

Um...he already told us this...and none of us cared. Whether Darren had a friend crash when they are in town or not is irrelevant to me. My husband has a crash pad in Memphis he shares with 4 fellow pilots. One guy ones it.  Who cares. First of all, Ben is rarely in LA for more than a few day- follow his IG...I have and he is rarely around.  I suspect he crashed in their guest room when he was in town because who wouldn't rather stay at Darren’s and make music and have meals with friends rather than stay in another hotel room? But it isn’t our business anyway. Hell, Darren and Ben might be the lovers..or the are all together as a throuple. Who cares?  Ajw wants us to get so pissed over this and the Stan’s just don’t care. I trust Darren is making decisions that fit his family and he’s happy. I have seen nothing in his demeanor or mood that suggest otherwise. 

But she can’t stop herself. She is literally bouncing  in her chair, maniacally typing about Ben and Mia and Darren living in a tree.  

You know what the best part about B is. D is totally free to chat about his platonic roomie. Because M&B created this monster all on their own by shoving their relationship and living situation in fans’ faces for years as they are so narcissistic they thought they could get away with it. All the while laughing at the stans. And at d who was powerless to do anything about it.

And as a result of their idiocy, d has free reign to shade the biggest obstacle in the m/iarren narrative. The 30something year old, successful, wealthy musician that lived in his house for many, many, years.

He’s like fam, sleeping in the family bed with D’s “fiancée.”

Soooo she believes that if Darren was powerless; being played by Mia and Ben he would not only share stories of that with the world but would call Ben "one of my best friends” and “part of the fam”? Yes, because anyone who is fucked over by another human being- or two-cannot wait to share that with the world...total strangers.  A celebrity who just won a major award and is doing lots of press can’t wait to present himself to the world as a spineless wuss being cucked by Mia and Ben...that make sense.

It’s funny how obsessed ajw is with Mia “laughing at (fill in the blank_”  when in fact everybody is laughing at the tihatters and their convoluted, ridiculous, nonsensical theories. Conspiracy theories are nonsense because they use 3rd hand data to draw conclusions and that isn’t how you get accurate information. It is always going to be laughable bullshit. Always.  

The problem with the tinhatters- and in particular Ajw who fabricated the entire Ben/Mia bullshit- is that she wants to be right more than she wants Darren to be happy or to be presented to the world as the person he really is. She wants to be right so bad she will keep screaming “booyah to the stans, Ben + Mia sitting in a tree KISSING” even when her only explanation for that would be that Darren is so weak he can’t keep his own house in order and is being ordered to do whatever evil Mia wants him to do...including being such a cuckhold that he has to pretend he is engaged to HER AND tell the world her boyfriend is his closest friend. That is A #1 fucked up.  I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy...or ajw...or any tinhatter

. 

[shortstoriesbyescher]

Ambiguous Life

"All I can do for now is to hope for a better tomorrow.", the uncomplete drawing of a man with eyes covered by darkness represents the emotions of Andrew Marquez about his future. Living his life as a struggling lower-middle-class without the ability to strive for his wants, Andrew wonders about his uncertain future, hoping to live a life beyond his current social standing.

In the simple town of Pasig, Spanish-Filipino teen Andrew Marquez feels like an outsider. Living alone with his dad, who can't speak much English, and spending his school time either avoiding bullies or writing their essays for them, he's grown accustomed to fading into the background.

 It was a normal day of my third year in high school. I was sitting at the first desk during the lunch break and was observing students and teachers of my school. I was looking here and there when suddenly a girl from the other section came out when sunlight was right behind her. She was bold, confident, cute, humorous, averagely knowledgeable. She was the perfect friend or girlfriend ( I guess) and the most beautiful girl at the same time I have seen in school. That time it felt like the clock moved slowly as she sat beside her friends, she looked like a deity smiling. Even though I didn't know her name, my heart wants me to get to know her. After our classes ended, I patiently waited at the parking lot to see her again but unfortunately, there was this man who fetched her. He gave her a bouquet, seeing him giving it to her makes me feel jealous even though we did not have a label or relationship at all. I assumed that she was taken and started to move on because I don't have a chance to her. The day ended as nothing happened and things were the same as yesterday. I am like living in a world where scenarios are just repeating over and over again.

 On my way home, I saw a guy following me. It feels creepy because it may be one of the bullies so I drove my bicycle faster so I could outrun him. However, he was still able to catch up to me.

 "Bro, what are you doing, why are you following me?"

 He replied, " Uhm, I just need your help to do something."

 "Ohh, I am only doing essay papers. My rate is P500 for 2 pages, P1000-2000 for 3-10 pages. If it is over 10 pages I will not accept it."

 "No, It's not, I'm not trying to cheat—"

 "Uhh whatever, get away from me bro you are annoying."

 *guy pulls out envelope*

 "What is this?"

 "Uhh, it is a love letter."

 "Dude, who writes letters these days?"

 "I thought it'd seem romantic? Also, she doesn't have Facebook. Maybe you could make me sound smart?"

 Out of curiosity, I decided to open the letter. Inside the letter, I saw the name, Arriane Santos. This name makes me think because it is familiar to me but I decided to decline his request because it is too troublesome to take part in someone else's relationship.

 "Sorry dude, I can't help you."

 "Please, I just need a few words. Good ones," the guy responded.

 "I'm not writing to Arriane or some girl. It'd be wrong. A letter is personal. It's supposed to be authentic. The best thing you could do is to get a thesaurus and use spell check. I have to go, good luck Romeo."

 "I can pay more for that! In case you have changed your mind, my name is Justin. You can reach me out on my IG."

 After meeting a weird romantic guy, I went directly to our house to help my father with household chores. As usual, I needed to help him clean his motorcycle and feed his chickens in our backyard. This was my duty every day after school. As we took our dinner, suddenly the landlady vehemently knocked on our door. As I thought my father forgot to pay our monthly rent so that is the reason for the landlady to come to our apartment. It was frustrating to see my father scolded by the landlady. If you don't know, my father was just a grab food driver, the salary he earns is enough for us to eat 3 times a day. Sometimes, he gets scammed by other people so to avoid it going to go wasted, it will be the food we'll be eating for the day. I know that sometimes it is expensive but we don't have a choice because it has already been ordered and can't be returned. My life is not great and I'm not fortunate enough to have my wants in life. As a child whose family is below the middle class, it is a must to prioritize my needs more than my wants. These things helped me to remember that I need to pursue my dreams to get out of this brutal life.

 Before I go to sleep my father told me that he was going to get home late since we're late paying our rental fee.

 "Andrew, I'll be late going home tomorrow. Just feed the chickens and Incase I still haven't arrived, just go to Aling Charing and get something you want to eat. Tell her that I will pay it after I get home tomorrow. Okay, goodnight love you."

 Thinking about what my father said to me, it makes me sad because my father would not need to go work overtime to pay our bills if people are being honest about what they order online.

 Before I turn off the lights I accidentally remembered the guy who asked me to write a love letter for his crush. Maybe, that was the last resort for me to help my father since lately there are no students asking for help for their essays. So I decided to help him for my father.

 It was morning again, I wonder if there will be something interesting that will happen today. I peacefully rode my bike to school and went to find Justin and negotiate about the letter I'll do.

 "Hey, Justin, remember me?"

 "Of course, now, have you changed your mind? Will you help me now?", Justin replied.

 "Okay okay, how much you can offer me to do this job?"

 "How about P2000?" Justin suggested.

 "Hmm, too low make it P2500 since it is not easy to do an authentic love letter."

 "Okay, deal, uhm the class will start soon so see you at Rainforest meet me there after our class. I'll give you the details about the letter,"  Justin replied and hurriedly went to his classroom.

 After my class ended, I immediately went to Rainforest and I saw Justin sitting on a bench holding the letter he created. As soon as I read the letter, I was totally confused about what he wanted to emphasize. This letter would be tough as Justin seems not good at expressing his thoughts.

 "Hmm, okay your letter seems to be kind of confusing but I'll do my best to reorganize your thoughts."

 "Thank you, Andrew, for your help. I really appreciate this," Justin replied.

 After that, I went back home and started to revise the letter. It is much more challenging than creating an essay. It took me 6 hours to finish a love letter, usually in creating an essay I only need 1 hour to finish it. On the other hand, I believe that this letter will surely help Justin to catch the attention of his crush. Also, I wonder what his crush looks like, it makes me wonder if she's like the girl I saw in the canteen but I remembered that girl might have already taken. Instead of overthinking about it, I went to bed and hoped that tomorrow will be different.

 It was morning again, nothing new. Prepare my things then go to school. As soon as I arrived at school I went to look for Justin to hand in his love letter. I wished him luck in his love life. After that, he never bothered me anymore. A week has passed and as usual, nothing is new, just my normal routine where I do essays for my classmates and do household chores.

 One day, after our class I went to the rainforest to breathe some fresh air and to wander around. Unexpectedly, I saw Justin with another girl. I'm shocked because he's with the girl I saw in the canteen, so her name is Arriane. I never expect that she's the one that Justin is referring to.

 "Oh, hey Andrew. How are you? It's been a long time since I last saw you." Justin loudly screamed to call me.

 "Hello, Justin. I never expect to see you around here. It looks like you're with someone."

 "Ahh, this is Arriane, she's my girlfriend. We've been together for 1 week now," Justin replied.

 "Hello, Arriane. I've seen you a couple of times in our school. It's nice to meet you."

 "Hello, Andrew. You seemed familiar to me but nice to meet you too." Arriane greeted with a soft and calm voice.

 "Yeah, the last time that I saw you was when there was a guy with a bouquet who picked you up."

 "Oh, that was my cousin. I never expected him to show up because usually, my father is the one who always picks me up after school," Arriane responded.

 "You both seem to know each other. That's odd of you. By the way, we have to go, I have to treat this tiny teeny cutie girl," Justin replied while looking sweetly at Arriane.

 After that, I started to Imagine life after school. I imagine that it would be much like the cycle before, except I work instead of going to class. And, with the prospect of work, I will now have the added pleasure of working with the general public. where it has a collective entity that has the intellectual curiosity of a goldfish. It is a magical society that produces the finest citizenry, where grown adults scream when their internet doesn't work, people who have no concept of quality beyond superficial appearances, and who collectively have an opinion on everyone and anything. And, best of all, I get to work at the mercy of one of these fine people so that I have the "privilege" of living among them. All I can do for now is to hope for a better tomorrow.

[sorchawrites-blog]

Hey Sugar

FANDOM: Supernatural PAIRING: Meg 2.0 x Reader WORD COUNT: 1672 SUMMARY: “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.” You whipped around as a strong hand squeezed your backside, mouth already open to tear them a new one and stopped short at their grin. Meg’s head was cocked to one side, her hand still firmly planted on your ass. AN: This was my first writing challenge and I’m actually really proud of how this turned out. It’s for @sparklingcas‘s Valentine’s Day Pick-Up Line challenge and I had so much fun writing this! There’s a light mention of smut but it’s all pretty 14A and a healthy dose of angst. 

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“Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.” 

You whipped around as a strong hand squeezed your backside, mouth already open to tear them a new one and stopped short at their grin. Meg’s head was cocked to one side, her hand still firmly planted on your ass. 

“Meg.” Your voice was much too happy for your liking and you immediately forced a smile away. Last time you’d seen her, she had whisked away your only lead without so much as a thank you. Just left you standing in the chilly warehouse with a wink and empty chains. Definitely not your idea of a great night. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a demon to rescue or a hunter to screw over?” 

Meg sneered halfheartedly before giving your ass one last squeeze. Bringing her arms up, she shook them in a gesture of peace. “Can’t a girl go out for a drink without an agenda?” 

Rolling your eyes, you followed her to the bar and leaned against the dark wood. “Sure, but you aren’t any normal girl, now are you?” Your eyes hardened and watched as she ordered her whisky. 

“Look sugar, relax. I come in peace. And with an offering.” One sharp snap later and your drink was replaced with the head of the witch you were previously hunting. 

“Jesus Christ Meg!” Shoving the head underneath the bar, you shrugged off your sweater and covered it the best you could. Now it looked like you were carrying a soccer ball - so much less suspicious. “You can’t just do that. What if someone saw?” Gesturing wildly, her eyes followed your erratic movement, one eyebrow cocked in amusement. Anyone near the bar was far too absorbed by the drinks in front of them to notice your agitation - everyone else was either playing pool or playing hard to get. 

You could feel your face flush as she brought her gaze round to yours once again. “I think we’re safe Oakley. You can put down your gun.” The familiar snark should have put you more on edge; instead you felt yourself begin to relax incrementally.

It had been a couple of months since you’d been able to just let go and hang out with Meg and you had missed the freedom more than you realised. Not that you were going to tell her that. Especially not with that smug look in her eyes.

Balancing the witch’s head in your lap, you gestured for another drink and watched as Meg threw back her first finger of whiskey, her fingers immediately tapping the empty glass in a clear request for more. 

 “So,” you started, your voice abandoning you before you could even get the question out. So where have you been? Are you avoiding me? Did last time - did any of our previous times mean anything? And if it didn’t, why am I suddenly holding this head? 

I missed you. 

And there they were, the words you’ve desperately trying to hold back for months, trying to forget that you even knew them. This wasn’t that kind of relationship. Hell, it wasn’t even a relationship. Lifting your glass, you drained the dark liquid in one swig, the sudden burn cutting through your thoughts. 

Meg was unusually quiet, taking a smaller sip of her refilled drink instead of making a smartass quip. 

“Where did you find her?” you finally asked, glancing down at your lap. 

Meg hesitated - clearly this wasn’t the question she had expected - and turned to face you head on. “Little Green here was sequestered away in an old mausoleum a few states over. Looked like she was planning on raising herself a nice little army of forgotten soldiers - not a half bad plan when you think about it.” 

“You know, if you hadn’t taken away my only lead I could have figured that out too,” you muttered, pouting behind your empty glass. 

That drew a dark chuckle from Meg. “Sure Annie, whatever you say.” 

Her dismissive attitude triggered some sort of switch and suddenly it was all too much. The noise, the people, the way you couldn’t look away any time you locked gazes. The way she treated you like a child. The way your heart sped up whenever she tilted her head and smirked. You needed some air. 

Tossing a few bills onto the counter, you grabbed your severed, sweater covered head and practically ran outside. If she could disappear at will then so could you. Your legs didn’t stop until you were outside your motel door - the chipped, off green colour of the wooden door assaulting your senses. 

Swiping the card key, you tossed the head somewhere into the darkness, your gun suddenly in hand when an affronted “ouch” rang out. 

Reaching out for the light switch, you groaned as the yellow light flickered on to reveal Meg laying on your neatly made bed. “Seriously Meg, what the hell? Don’t you have someone else to torture?” 

Clicking the safety back on, you re-holstered your gun and closed the door behind you. She shrugged and tossed the offending head into the air where it disappeared to God knows where. In that moment, you didn’t care. “Oh, but you’re just so much fun.” 

Shifting on your bed, she sat up on the edge and looked away, a mild look of disgust on her face. “Besides, you seemed off Oakley. And I just couldn’t bear the thought of my favourite cowgirl all mopey and shit.” Despite her mocking tone, you could have sworn that there was a thread of genuine worry underlying her words. 

You stood there for a few seconds, swaying between tears and anger, until you were sure it wouldn’t be the former. And then suddenly, it wasn’t the latter either. “You left. You promised that it wasn’t a dream and then you were gone. And then you show up three months later to steal my prey?” 

Her dark, cool eyes searched your face, her brows furrowing in a very unfamiliar way. “I was unexpectedly called away. And when the Devil calls...well, it’s not exactly something you say no to.” 

A lump appeared in your throat and you gave her a quick nod. “Of course.” Walking over to the small bathroom, you calmly closed the door and began running the shower taps. It was only when steam began to fill the small room that you braced yourself against the sink and let the tears fall. 

You couldn’t believe how stupid you were, to continue to believe promises whispered in the dark. And yet even now, you couldn’t forget the brush of her fingertips against your bare skin nor the way she gasped as you took of her breasts into your mouth. Or the way she melted into your arms once you were both satiated, her chest heaving and brow shiny with sweat. 

And as moonlight spilled through the blinds and across your entwined bodies, she had placed a gentle kiss against your heart and promised to stay with her cowgirl forever. You had fallen asleep after that, falling into sweet dreams that had you smiling in your sleep. You should have known they were just words. They couldn’t mean anything to a demon like her. 

Strong arms encircled your waist, drawing you from your thoughts with a jerk of surprise. “Meg?” you stuttered, voice shaky from the grief wracking your body and you attempt to turn in her embrace. “What - are you okay? Is something wrong?” 

She shushes you and leans her head against your shoulder, stopping your movement. “Look, I’m really not good with this mushy shit so just - shut up and let me say something. I shouldn’t have stayed away after that morning. I should have - no,” she corrected. “I wanted to come back. But with the sudden influx of the walking dead and then some of the more putrid meatsuits gaining life, human interactions outside of deals and killings had become frowned upon and I’ve been busy.” 

The hunter in you tucked away that particular piece of information to examine later. Now wasn’t the time to reinforce the lines. Reaching up to wipe at your damp cheeks, you turned in her embrace and ignored her weak attempt to keep you facing away from her. 

Looking into her eyes, you saw that they were hardened with resolve and fear and something that could almost resemble love. Almost. And then she began to retreat behind her all too familiar walls and you did the only thing you could think of, the one thing you’ve been wanting to do these past lonely months. 

Before she could take back any of her words, you moved her against the wall and pressed your lips together. She didn’t fight back and instead leaned into the kiss, one hand pulling you closer by your neck while the other worked to undo your braid, tossing the iron spike somewhere onto the counter. It sounded like something shattered but you were too distracted to care. 

Twining one hand within her hair, you pulled down sharply and grinned as her eyes went completely black, a deep moan escaping her throat. 

“Bed. Now.” 

She obliged with a quick snap and suddenly the two of you were falling against the surprisingly soft bed. Before you regain your sense of direction, she was pressing open mouthed kisses down your throat, pausing to suckle at your pulse point. Your mouth opened and a low keening noise came out instead of words, you hips bucking up against Meg’s thigh. 

She pulled away, your body chasing the movement before your mind caught up. Clothes disappeared and then you couldn’t move, her demonic influence pressing down against you to stop your movements. 

Leaning over, Meg kissed you hard before moving down your torso, eyes never leaving yours. When she reached her target, she grinned and you were suddenly struck with the realisation that she was right. When the Devil called, you didn’t say no. 

“Happy Valentine’s day Y/N.”

[faierius]

In His Shoes (9. All About Perspective)

Chapter One (Can’t We All Just Get Along?)

Chapter Two (Out Of Body Experience)

Chapter Three (We Don’t Talk About That)

Chapter Four (My Body Won’t Change My Heart)

Chapter Five (Myth and Mystery)

Chapter Six (Baby Steps)

Chapter Seven (Sleep on it)

Chapter Eight (Seeds)

               Gladio rolled over in his open sleeping bag, tossing his arm across Ignis. He woke when Prompto accidentally kicked him on the way out, but he didn’t bother getting up. Truthfully, he was waiting for Ignis to stir, which didn’t seem likely to happen anytime soon. The man slept like Noctis, which now that he thought about it, made sense.

               Chuckling to himself, Gladio decided he should probably get up now before the day progressed too much further. Stretching, he pressed his knuckles into his back as he arched his spine. Something popped, and he winced as he straightened up. The floor was not the most comfortable of places, but it was worth it to sleep next to Ignis.

               Squatting next to the sleeping man, Gladio poked his shoulder. “Hey.”

               No response beyond an adorable little snort.

               “C’mon, Iggy. Time to rise and shine,” he continued, patting the man’s cheek.

               Grumbling, Ignis scowled and swatted Gladio’s hand away. He snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag, part of his face disappearing inside.

               Hanging his head, Gladio found himself grinning. “Okay, while this is really cute, you should get up.”

               Though Ignis didn’t answer, a twitch of his brow showed he was awake and listening.

               “Geez, now I know how you feel trying to get Noct up in the morning,” sighed Gladio, shaking his head. Standing up, he stepped over Ignis’ sleeping bag and planted one foot to either side of his knees. Squatting over the man, he took hold of the sleeping bag and pulled. Ignis barely budged, but he turned his head down to hide a smirk.

               “Oh, right. Not as strong as I was,” grumbled Gladio, a tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. “Oh well, plan B will work.” Releasing the bag, his hand moved to the zipper on the side. Tugging it down nice and slow, he changed his squat to a straddle and leaned over Ignis’ partially obscured face.

               Ignis’ brow creased, and he tried to sink into himself.

               “Don’t care if this is Noct’s body, if you don’t get up Iggy, I’m gonna break the no touching rule in a big way.”

               Groaning, Ignis finally cracked his eyes open. “Fine. I’m up.”

               “There he is. Mornin’, babe.”

               “Why are you so chipper?” Ignis complained as he sat up.

               Gladio shrugged, sitting back on his heels. “Dunno. Just in a good mood, I guess.”

               Rolling his eyes, Ignis gave Gladio a shove, knocking him on his backside. “I slept solidly all night, yet I still feel exhausted.”

               “Welcome to Being Noctis.”

               Ignis yawned widely.

               “Want me to get you some Ebony?” Gladio asked, springing to his feet.

               “If you would be so kind, darling.”

               “Darling? You sure you’re awake?” laughed Gladio, leaning over to ruffle Ignis’ hair.

               “I’ll come up with a suitable pet name yet,” he sighed, wrinkling up his nose.

               “Keep working on it.” Grinning, Gladio left Ignis with a wink and went to retrieve the man’s coffee. Whistling to himself, he practically bounced as he crossed the road to the car. If being in Prompto’s body gave him this much energy, he wasn’t going to complain.

               “Get away from me!”

               “Noctis, wait!”

               Stopping mid-step, Gladio looked toward the yelling. A short distance up the road, Noctis was practically running away from a confused and hurt-looking Prompto.

               “Why can’t you just take the hint?”

               “What hint? Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?”

               Frustration marred Noctis’ face, but he didn’t answer.

               “It’s really hard to leave you alone when you’re so clearly upset, Noct. Please, I just wanna help.”

               “There’s nothing to help. I—” Noctis looked up, eyes landing on Gladio. His face flushed dark red and he grit his teeth. Stopping abruptly, Prompto almost walked into him as he turned around. Eyes locked on his feet, he mumbled something to the man before him. He let whatever words he spoke sink in for a moment, turned, and made a bee-line for the caravan.

               Eyes wide, Gladio stared after Noctis. “What the hell was that about?” When Prompto didn’t give him so much as a grunt in response, Gladio turned his attention toward him. His stomach hit the floor before leaping into his throat at the expression Prompto presented him with. It couldn’t be described as anything but absolute devastation and heartbreak. He didn’t even know his face could make such an expression.

               “Oh, shit,” he sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Hey, Prompto. What’s going on?” he asked, voice soft as he approached the man.

               Brows drawn, Prompto raised his eyes to meet Gladio’s. “I…I don’t know what I did.”

               Though he couldn’t relate, Gladio definitely sympathized with the pain clear on Prompto’s face. “C’mon, Pipsqueak. Come sit down and tell me what’s up.”

               “Don’t treat me like Iris,” Prompto muttered, dropping into the back seat of the Regalia when Gladio opened the door.

               Gladio scoffed, leaning against the side of the car. “If you think I’m treating you like Iris, clearly you’ve never had to deal with my sister when she’s moody. Relax, I’m not gonna make fun of you or tease you.”

               Prompto’s shoulders fell. “He…” His voice wavered, and he paused, closing his eyes while taking a deep breath. “Um…he just told me he didn’t want to see my face for a while.”

               Wrinkling up his nose, Gladio narrowed his eyes. “What? That doesn’t sound like something he’d say, no matter how upset he is.”

               “I know! That’s why I’m confused. He was fine last night, so I don’t know what happened in between.” Propping his elbows on his knees, Prompto let his head hang as he sighed heavily.

               “Are you sure it’s you he’s mad at? He said your face, but did he mean you as in me? Or you as in you?” Gladio asked.

               “I don’t know, Gladio. This whole mess is screwing with everything so bad. How would you feel if Iggy told you he didn’t want to see your face? It doesn’t feel very nice, no matter the circumstance.”

               “Maybe he feels guilty because his body reacted to yours, and in his own stupid way he’s trying to help? I don’t pretend to know what goes on in his head, but I do know he loves you, Prompto. It’s gotta be the curse talking, so don’t take it personally,” Gladio said, putting his hand on Prompto’s shoulder.

               A humorless smirk tugged at the corner of Prompto’s mouth. “Thanks. You always seem to be the one stuck with giving me pep talks.”

               “I don’t mind.”

               “I know that’s a lie, but I appreciate it anyway.”

               Rolling his eyes, Gladio squeezed Prompto’s shoulder before dropping his arm to his side. He wasn’t going to try convincing the man he honestly didn’t mind. While he may not be the greatest at giving advice, he was okay offering his ear to Prompto. Ever since their bonding experience when he helped their little chocobo-headed friend with his crush on Noctis, he found his protective instincts covered Prompto more than they had in the past.

               “I hate to interrupt, but may I inquire about His Highness’ mood?” Ignis asked, drawing Gladio’s attention. “It’s quite disturbing to see tears in his eyes at the best of times, but to see them on my own face is another matter entirely.”

               Mentally kicking himself for not noticing the man earlier, Gladio pushed himself away from the car and eyed Ignis’ hair. He had combed and gelled the normally spikey strands back in a fair facsimile of a pompadour.

               Ignoring Gladio’s raised eyebrows, Ignis focused on Prompto. “May I ask?”

               “He’s been like that since I got up,” Prompto answered half-heartedly.

               “Told Prompto he didn’t want to see his face for a while. Clearly he’s got his panties in a bunch about something.”

               “And I presume he’s not interested in talking about the problem?” sighed Ignis, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Well, this certainly puts a hitch in things.”

               “Not to be a jerk or anything, but that’s the last thing on my mind right now,” Prompto grumbled.

               Stepping forward, Gladio put himself between Ignis and Prompto. “I get that’s important, Ig’, but that’s a little harsh.”

               “I’m not trying to make light of the situation. I apologize, Prompto.”

               The man waved his hand dismissively. “S’okay.”

               “No, it’s not, Prom. Noctis should know better than to treat you like shit just because he’s in a bad mood,” growled Gladio, flicking a glance over his shoulder.

               Prompto started up at Gladio with wide eyes. “While I appreciate the sentiment, please don’t use that nickname again. It’s weird coming from you.”

               “That’s what you took from that?” Gladio asked, voice flat, one brow arched.

               Prompto shrugged. “Maybe he’ll talk to you, Ig’. He wouldn’t even look me in the eye, and we’re not sure if it’s me he’s mad at, or Gladio.”

               Dipping his head in a nod, Ignis crossed his arms. “I’ll see what I can do. Perhaps you two ought to make yourselves scarce in the meantime?”

               Turning to Prompto, Gladio shrugged. “Wanna grab some breakfast? Then you can help me put these stupid contact lenses in.”

               Prompto’s entire body deflated with a heavy sigh before he pushed himself to his feet. “Yeah, I guess,” he agreed, shutting the car door.

               “Please play nice,” Ignis told the pair.

               “We’ll be fine, Ig’. Just go sort out Prince Crabby. We got this.” Gladio gave Ignis a reassuring grin before chasing after Prompto.

               Grumbling low in his throat, Ignis rubbed a hand over his face. “At least they’re getting along again.” Turning back toward the caravan, he closed his eyes. He certainly had his work cut out for him today.

[ourstartline]

starting again!

the original post was from flowerais but this is just me personalizing and speaking into existence what I want to do to better myself.

delete apps and social media that lowers your mood

i love twitter a lot! just being able to escape and meet new people but however it can be draining. i find myself looking for validation a lot more often from people and tweeting things that aren’t me? i let the amount of interactions get to me when it shouldn’t. the fact i became so consumed in twitter in a few months when i went 3 years without it. I got most of my content from ig which was not bad and actually watch youtube videos etc. my goal for this is limit my time on twitter, unfollow anyone who gives off bad vibes,etc. 

wear a new scent, throw away things you don’t need, delete contacts of people who make you feel unworthy, unfollow social media that makes you feel bad in any way

i really want to have a signature scent, vanilla! it makes me so happy and smells so yummy. my next paycheck I will invest in a good smelling spray and candles for my body and room. I really need to delete contacts and apps like snapchat. 

make a new playlist that makes you feel confident and happy

i really realize how much more invested i am with kpop. honestly,i want to change that. I think i might unstan groups maybe just keep 3 main groups. i might make a nonkpop playlist. 

in a journal, write down why you want to change, the traits of the person you truly want to be, the places you want to go and people that make you feel inspired

this will a whole another blog post.

write down the things that stop you and bad habits you have, and replace those with new mindsets and habits

losing focus after short amount of time, laziness, competing with others

set a time limit to do something, get out of bed, improve yourself for you

before you sleep, make a detailed, achievable routine for the next day, that includes everything you want to do, including activities that genuinely make you happy

write down on board things to do, 1 body, 1 soul, 1 mind

try new hobbies, like baking/cooking, playing a musical instrument, making art, learning a new skill, a sport, or a new language. you can easily get free resources online

journaling! find other things!

think about the ideal version of yourself. you can be like that, if you try your best and work hard.

blog post what the ideal version of myself?

do not overwork yourself or set overly lofty daily goals and forget to do things like drink water. make your sleep and health your number one priority.

make sure to get 7-8 hours of sleep. drink water first thing in the morning

spend less time on your phone scrolling through social media. have a method of focusing on other things, like Pomodoro method or using the Forest app.

less social media! i downloaded the forest app and will use the breaks to accompiish my goals for the day!

if you can’t concentrate, commit yourself to doing it for 5 minutes. once you get into the flow it’s much easier to concentrate.

be patient and kind with yourself. it’s hard to change overnight. you’re the only one who can help change you, so be a friend to yourself.

once you start something, promise yourself you will finish it.

have new weekly routines, like going to a cafe every Wednesday afternoon or indulging in your favourite tv show every Friday night.

weekly routines: self care nights, tv show/movie night

do not deny yourself of good things; there needs to be a balance. similarly, do not be too generous and overdo it too much.

BALANCE!! i give myself a lot of wants and not NEEDS. 

dedicate a day to clean your room and organize your things if you feel stressed out. 

it may feel scary to change, as you may feel like it’s not the real you. but you’re still you, just the best version of yourself.

have a relaxing morning routine to look forward to, like making a nice breakfast, having a skin care routine, stretches, journalling, or thinking about nothing for a few minutes

routine without phone or hw! skin care routine, go for a walk, journal!

have a mental image that makes you excited to do something. visualize yourself completing the goal and concentrate on it every morning.

however, learn not to rely on motivation because your brain will often turn off motivation, especially when you first begin something. have a routine, a specific time to do something, and do it.

notice the places and people that drain your energy, and try to avoid them. find people who make you feel energized and places that calm you.

think about an enjoyable part of something. for example, when studying you can look forward to learning new things and when exercising, listening to calming music or using nice stationery. it’s actually more fun than you think.

even though it’s hard, don’t compare yourself. you’re on your own path, and it doesn’t matter if people are better than you, because there will always be someone better than everyone. don’t be afraid to suck. so draw badly, write bad poems, run slowly, make embarrassing mistakes and fail everything. you can’t be good at something unless you’re terrible at something first. and doing anything badly is so much better than doing nothing.

don’t tell anyone about your new beginning, just start and let the results speak for themselves.

you can change and be your ideal self. but it will be hard to do that if you don’t believe in yourself. so make sure you challenge negative thoughts telling you can’t do something. tell yourself firmly that you can do it and then prove your negative thoughts wrong.

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a full-grown adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you discern the daily skirmish that is doing whatever the fuck you want while at the same time wanting to have a great person and great surface. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Governors Ball but also look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and gobbling sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she ate last-place night. So heres a directory of meat you should forestall like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll fasten your fucking face. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Devour Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even snacks canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird preoccupation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a cherry-red fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and stimulates your torso to hold on to ocean, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pouched under your eyes that can be seen from room, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and too be hateful on Instagram, eating salmon is a sure space to get better looking surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fatties. These fats reinforce cell membranes and nourish the surface to exclude you searching fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol just because you frequently say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purify your body are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, especially the light-green juices which is capable of have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual destruction when it comes to having clear skin. ^ I suspect every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your skin. The more you are familiar. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy paunches and wont leave your surface searching more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized coming. Good-for-nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your person. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my figure I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which is capable of figure this fun thing called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your form. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly dining ice cream is age you.* paces into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it savours health and the whole time youll be pleasing you two are dining real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will seem good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick joke. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time someone responds everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only rationales I get out of bunked in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your mas to lose water and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of boozing red-hot lemon liquid know it sounds as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and holds some much needed support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the principal organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons drinking on dates that objective in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by this list. Like, is person looking at my bank proclamation and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel patronizes? Because Im feeling genuinely assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for days.* prays this is fake word* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id rather deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it appears miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve launched will not only give you clear/ glowy surface but likewise pushes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones surprise except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my gaiety, soda is bad for you. And because we are drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Likewise drinking various kinds of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, crusade rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant exactly suck vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer scalp , not croak. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my surface. About damn age. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you want clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch rolls around then chug some of this and claim like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you delight is possibly fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not draw the inventory, but thats mostly because I refused to do any actual research that would support otherwise. Who says you cant realise your own destiny? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self verify dont just wanted to relinquish your delight theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-47/