#so deeply on each persons personal relationship to god and it makes me mad.

[folkdances]

“women who choose not to wear the hijab are often vocally supported by western society while their hijabi sisters are ridiculed and harassed because this represents, in the eyes of the west, a distancing from the ‘oppressive’ islamic regime and makes her palatable and more like them - this is a privilege but it is borne of islamophobia and ignorance” and “women who choose not to wear the hijab or don its associated dress code are severely ostracized from many muslim spaces and face misogynist harassment and violence from within their community which often drives them away from those very communities” are statements that can and should exist. actually

[chishiyasleftnut]

Oh my god this took longer than I expected, I am so sorry (｡•́︿•̀｡)

As requested by a few people in the comments on PART 3, here is part 4 to the phase 2 Chishiya fic I've been working on!

It includes everything from angst to fluff to smut at the end. What's not to like? (•̀ᴗ•́ )و I hope you'll all enjoy it!

Stuck With You (part 4)

(Read part 1, part 2, and part 3 here)

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Genre: Smut, angst AND fluff. (look at me go)

Warnings: smut and gun violence. Includes penetration (female receiving), unprotected sex.

Pairing: Chishiya x fem!reader

Plot: After sleeping together twice, Chishiya began ignoring fem!reader, making her mad with worry. Does he hate her? Did she do someting wrong? Or perhaps something else was going on, something she had completely missed?

3349 words. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

The discussion of what you were never came. Out of fear of making your cramped living conditions more awkward than necessary, you decided not to push it and just live in the unknown. You didn’t need to define the relationship, you told yourself. You were soooo cool with keeping it casual and undefined.

With that mindset, you both continued your life at the camp as if nothing had happened. A part of you had expected there to be more touching but no, Chishiya’s behaviour seemingly completely reverted back to how he was before that fateful stormy night, never letting down his guard and showing even a sliver of vulnerability.

Every night you went to bed next to each other, crammed into a two-man-tent and your bodies somehow not connecting anywhere at all. Every morning you woke up to the tent empty as Chishiya would leave the shared space as soon as his eyes were open.

You rarely spoke much either, which wouldn’t have affected you if you hadn’t slept together twice. Although you had no intentions of confronting Chishiya with this, it did hurt you that he by all appearances felt as if nothing special happened - as if you were just a sex doll he could use when he needed to get off.

A part of you tried to defend Chishiya. Maybe he had little experience with romance - or even friendship? You had never seen him interact deeply with anyone before so that could be an explanation. He didn’t exactly seem like the lovey-dovey type either. Yeah, it wasn’t personal, you said to yourself to calm your anxiety. This was just how he was.

Although your little camp at the outskirts of Tokyo seemed like a perfect, isolated place right after the Beach’ end, the two of you had noticed more and more people in the vicinity of your tent over the past week. It started off with the occasional sound of rustling bushes and glimpses of people appearing far away, but lately you had had actual run-ins with strangers. To your luck, none of them were an immediate threat. Still, the camp didn’t feel safe anymore.

“Come with me,” Chishiya one day said during breakfast.

His words took you by surprise, mostly because you were embarrassingly deep into your thoughts about your relationship (or lack thereof) and had completely zoned him out. You quickly began chewing the big bite of protein bar that you seconds prior had mindlessly stuffed into your mouth so you could reply, but Chishiya continued before you had a chance to clear your mouth.

“Come on. We’re doing a supply run.”

The request was unusual, as Chishiya always did supply runs on his own. His usual reasoning was that you were too slow and that it would be safer if he could quickly be in and out of the city instead of having to wait around for you.

“I thought you liked doing that on your own?” you questioned once you had finally swallowed the lump of chocolatey protein bar.

“I do,” he said while gathering his things. “But not today. Hurry up, I don’t want to wait all day.”

You wanted to pry for an actual answer, but knew it was fruitless. Instead, you quickly finished your breakfast and picked up your bag so you could accompany him into Tokyo.

As expected, your walk to the nearest convenience store was both silent and uneventful. Even though you had a million questions running through your mind, you had no way of articulating them in a way that wouldn’t make you seem desperate. As much as you craved closure, you also didn’t want to scare him away. Hence, you decided silence was best.

When you arrived at the rundown and almost empty 7/11, Chishiya held the door open for you. As you walked in you paused in the doorway with wide eyes. Instantly, you felt bad for complaining about the type of supplies he brought back. In your mind, convenience stores were always filled to the brim with food 24/7, but it seemed as if the situation in the borderlands were way different than in normal life. This convenience store looked at if it had been raided consistently for months, the shelves nearly empty and the floor covered in broken glass.

“Is there even any food left?” you asked while staying in the door-opening, completely overwhelmed by the chaotic emptiness of it all - an oxymoron you until now had never experienced before.

Chishiya pushed past you with a gentle hand on your lower back, ushering you inside. The sudden physical contact sent goosebumps all over your body, making every single small hair on your arms and legs stand up straight. God, you had missed being touched more than you knew.

“I’m sure there’s some left. Help me look.”

Once you recovered, you assisted Chishiya in finding any food that wasn’t rotten. To protect your sensitive nose, you decided to completely avoid the open refrigerator section that in the normal world housed delicious tuna-mayo onigiris and microwave-heatable freshly made meals, all of which you knew wouldn’t have lasted even a week without spoiling.

With quiet steps, you walked up and down the aisles, looking for anything edible. The little, orange shopping basket that you were carrying slowly got filled with various types of instant noodles. Once you were very dead-set on which brands and flavours were worth eating, but you had to throw that all to the side now. The selection was limited, and it was not time to be picky.

With the basket now housing a decent selection of instant noodles in all shapes, colours, and sizes, you turned the corner and stumbled into the candy aisle where Chishiya’s eyes were expertly scanning over the sparse selection. He never brought back too much food out of fear of attracting the wildlife that had slowly taken over Tokyo together with the greenery.

You watched as his hand reached out for a pack of strawberry gummies - his favourite, as you had come to learn from the many times that he had exclusively brought back strawberry flavoured candy instead of the superior tasting grape. However, instead of grabbing the strawberry flavour, he instead picked up two packs of the remaining neighbouring grape variant, quickly putting it into his own shopping basket. As he went to walk away, presumably to find food that wasn’t just candy, he turned in your direction and caught you looking.

“Is something wrong?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow. You gestured down to the grape flavoured candy in his basket.

“I thought you liked strawberry,” you pointed out. “Why get grape?”

“I wanted to try something new,” he eventually said in a casual manner, causing you to roll your eyes out of annoyance.

“I’ve complained about the lack of grape candy for weeks and suddenly you’re willing to try it?”

Chishiya had just opened his mouth to presumably give a flippant reply, when he was interrupted by the deafening sound of gunshots from the street outside the store. Instinctively, Chishiya put an arm in front of you, using his own body to shield you from the far-away shooter. You both stood still as statues, using every sense to figure out how close you were to danger. As the gunshots came to a halt, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Okay, I think that- AHH!”

A loud, high-pitched scream left your mouth before you had a chance to stop it, as a much closer round of shots completely took you by surprise. Chishiya quickly pulled you with him on the floor behind the cash register, hugging your back tightly against his front and covering your mouth with his hand to keep you quiet.

“Shhh,” he hushed lowly into your ear, his warm breath tickling your skin. “Be quiet.”

The next few minutes were tense, as neither of you had any visuals of the shooter due to your sheltering behind the cash register. You therefore used the only sense available to you to find any auditory signs that would indicate the location of the shooter. Much to your dismay, you before long heard the store bell chime as the door got opened. The shrill of the bell was followed by the sound of a pair of hefty military boots crushing the many glass shards scattered on the floor.

You were shaking in Chishiya’s arm, trembling with fear as you inaudibly prayed that whoever was now in the store with you would just leave you alone. Chishiya hugged you so tightly against him that you were almost suffocating, his hand surely leaving a red imprint on your face. Despite the physical discomfort, his firm embrace also worked to ground you, calming you down and keeping you quiet.

It didn’t take long for the stranger to leave the store again, possibly disappointed by the lack of victims to shoot down. You both waited a few extra minutes just to be safe, before Chishiya finally let his hand fall away from your mouth, allowing you to take a deep breath, fully filling up your oxygen deprived lungs.

“I should never have taken you with me,” he mumbled while standing up, visibly distraught in a way you hadn’t seen before. Long gone was his usual nonchalant demeanour, his normal indifference replaced by panicky eyes and shallow breaths.

Still sitting on the floor, your shaken mind attempted to connect the many jumbled up puzzle pieces. Chishiya was scared. You had never seen him scared before, so that alone was adding to the confusion. It had gotten to the point where you didn’t even know if he cared about his life. And then it finally clicked: He wasn’t scared for his own safety; he was scared for yours.

“Wait, you asked me to join you to protect me?” you asked while he with a strong hand helped you up on your feet.

“I thought it would be safer than leaving you at the camp, but clearly it was not.” Chishiya walked back around the counter and picked up the dropped shopping baskets with food, neatly packing the content into his bag with uncharacteristically shaky hands. “The camp didn’t feel safe anymore. Too many people around. What if the wrong person saw you all alone? I couldn’t risk it.”

You were in shock, unsure of how to take that in. You had spent the past week worrying over Chishiya’s sudden indifference to you, and here he was admitting he cared? No scratch that, he didn’t just care, he was worried about you. This changed everything.

“I thought you hated me,” you stuttered out, still completely overwhelmed by this new revelation. “I thought I had done something wrong and that you hated me for it.”

“I could never hate you.”

Your eyes met in what felt like a tender embrace, Chishiya’s deep brown orbs showing softness and sincerity in a way you had never could have imagined. He meant it, you were absolutely sure of it.

Calmed by his newfound gentleness, you slowly helped him pack up the supplies gathered from the convenience store, your mind gradually making sense of the past week. You were pulled back to reality when your hands picked up the little plastic bag of grape flavoured candy.

“You got these for me, didn’t you?” you asked, feeling the final puzzle piece clicking into place.

“I did. I should have gotten them earlier.”

“You should have,” you declared amusedly, suddenly finding humour in his previous stubbornness. “I’ve been begging for a while, you know.”

Your remark made Chishiya smile, but for once it didn’t seem like he was laughing at your expense. Instead, he seemed fondly entertained by you, a dynamic switch you hadn’t seen coming.

Together, you walked back to the camp. The walk was silent, but this time it wasn’t an awkward silence. Instead, you both enjoyed the other’s company, using the quiet time to mentally and physically decompress from the intense past 30 minutes you had shared. Eventually you reached the camp again, flopping down in front of the unlit fireplace and immediately going in on the treasured grape candy. Chishiya didn’t comment on it, but just observed how you practically swallowed one purple gummy after the other.

As day turned to night, you both climbed back into the tent with your bellies full of a variety of instant noodles, ready for the best sleep of your life after an emotionally exhausting day. You followed Chishiya, as he laid down on the sleeping mat, sighing when you finally allowed yourself to feel the body aches that were a near constant lately. Chishiya noticed your little sigh, and gently pulled you in closer to him in an attempt to soothe you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yeah. Just tired,” you replied, matching his low tone. It felt like the right volume to speak at in the darkness of the tent.

Chishiya ran his hand up and down your arm, attempting to lull you to sleep. It was tempting to allow yourself to drift off, and yet you stayed awake, not wanting to miss out on this side of Chishiya. 

“I haven’t done this before,” Chishiya finally said, turning his head to look at you. His words confused you.

“We’ve cuddled before.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” you asked, the confusion apparent in your voice.

Chishiya gestured broadly to the two of you. “This.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, finally understanding his vague remark. You had been right in assuming that he had little experience with anything deeper than sex.

“Do you like it?” you finally asked, holding your breath as you awaited the answer.

Chishiya took his sweet time to reply, leaving you suddenly feeling worried that you had somehow managed to completely misinterpret everything that had happened that day. Luckily, he eventually opened his mouth again.

“I do.”

And with that, you let out a sigh of relief. Thank God. Without thinking, you placed your lips firmly against his and initiated a kiss. He reciprocated, although somewhat hesitantly at first.

“I thought you were tired?” he asked in between kisses, his hands slowly gaining courage as they began exploring your body.

“Not that tired,” you said as you rolled on top of him, straddling him and pushing his body firmly down on the sleeping mat without your lips leaving his.

Chishiya didn’t need any more convincing. He quickly flipped you back around, your body thumping hard against the mat as he forcibly pinned you down under him. His hands got rougher as they ventured all over your body, exploring every curve and soft patch of skin that he could reach.

A moan slipped out of your mouth and into his when his right hand snaked down your body and into your pants, his fingers connecting with your already sensitive clit. He didn’t slow down, instead creating a consistent rhythm as he circled around the needy bud. Your hips instinctively moved against his hand, only further prompting him to continue.

“You like that?” he mumbled possessively into your ear, his fingers pressing harder down on you. “D’you like how I make you feel?”

Unable to use your words, you instead moaned louder. Quickly, Chishiya used his left hand to cover your mouth, suppressing any sound that came from you.

“So eager already?” he asked smugly. “I need you to quiet down, princess. We don’t want the entire forest to hear us, no?”

Once you were subdued, his hand left your mouth and instead journeyed down south to assist his other hand in freeing you of your pants. Once unzipped and unbuttoned, you helped him slide your jeans off by lifting your hips off from the floor, watching as he threw the pants to the side before sitting in between your spread legs.

His fingers traced teasingly along the trim of your panties, carefully avoiding the places that were desperate to be touched. After minutes that felt like hours, he finally trailed down from your belly button to your core, noticing how wet the fabric was.

“Desperate, are we?” he asked amusedly.

“Hurry up,” you mewed, closing your eyes to focus on the faint sensation of Chishiya’s fingers tickling your most sensitive area.

“Desperate and commanding. I better get going, huh?”

To your luck, Chishiya promptly helped you out of your underwear, throwing them over to your pants before immediately delving his long, slender fingers into your core. You moaned, quickly covering your own mouth as you remembered his warning minutes prior.

In a manner that was simultaneously careful and eager, he made sure you were adequately warmed up and stretched out, before pulling off his own sweatpants and boxer briefs in one go. Your eyes connected with his hard length, your mouth almost salivating at what was to come.

Chishiya didn’t waste any more time, his collectiveness wavering as carnal desires took over his mind. He climbed on top of you, spreading your legs to each side of him before lining his hardness up at your entrance and pushing himself in right away.

You both gasped as you got used to the sudden change of sensation. Your walls tightened up around his dick, hugging it tightly in a hungry embrace. Chishiya buried his face in your neck, fighting against his animalistic urges to remain at least somewhat in control. Once at least moderately grounded, his hips began moving against yours, his cock pumping in and out of you rhythmically and filling you both up with continuously building layers of pleasure.

Without realising it, your legs tightened around his body as you slowly but steadily felt yourself get closer to the edge - closer to the release you so desperately needed after the rather hectic day you had just experienced.

You didn’t even notice when Chishiya bit down on your shoulder in an attempt to keep himself from finishing, his body continuing working towards its goal of getting you closer, and closer, and….

“Fuck, I’m coming!” you eventually moaned, your vision fading to black as you felt pleasure rushing through your body, all your senses focused elsewhere leaving you completely oblivious to what was going on in the real world.

As the wonderful sensation sadly came to an end, you felt Chishiya collapse down on top of you, his deep voice grunting into your ear as he too came, filling your core up with his cum. For a while, you stayed in this position, both recovering from the short but intense escapade you had just shared. Eventually, Chishiya rolled off you, landing on the hard mat with a thud.

A part of you feared what would happen next. The last time you slept together, Chishiya spent the entire week after on ignoring you. You weren’t sure if you could survive that treatment again. However, to your delight, Chishiya gently pulled you back in close to him, hugging your tired body firmly against his.

“I needed that,” he mumbled, his voice already sounding calm and sleepy. You chuckled a bit, but nonetheless nodded to show agreement.

“Me too.”

Chishiya yawned and pulled you even tighter against him, hugging you like a child would hug its favourite plushie. Just as he was about to fall asleep, you decided to ask the question that was weighing heavily on your mind.

“You won’t ignore me again, right?”

He opened his eyes, looking a bit confused before he understood where you came from.

“No,” he said, grazing your forehead with his lips before closing his eyes again. “I’ll never ignore you again.”

That were the last words you remembered before you gently lulled to sleep, his reassuring words calming the last few anxious thoughts running through your mind and finally allowing you to succumb to your exhaustion.

I’ll never ignore you again.

The phrase played over and over again in your mind as you slept, even appearing in your dream. And you believed him. You really did. This was the start of something new.

[saturnville]

Hi 👋🏾

So yesterday I was driving and I was listening to Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart by Alicia Keys & I immediately thought of your Candy Bling - Joe Rantz Fic. I feel like it fits the story so well. Not sure if you plan on adding more to it but with the way it ended, I’d be open to reading it. <3

inseparable | sleeping with a broken heart, joe rantz

pairing: joe rantz x black fem oc (cleotha jean). content: cleo and joe have a conversation. warning: angst. fluff. song: inseparable by mariah carey and try sleeping with a broken heart by alicia keys an: welllll long time, no see. hope y'all enjoyed tags: @neeville @turn-thy-paige @ihe4rtisa @ineedafictionalman @lovebyceleste @alliewassobonum

She had dreamed of this day for months, Where the invisible string between them would become shorter and shorter and their hearts would reunite as one. It was always a fairytale in her eyes; he’d come to her desparate and weeping for her forgiveness and they’d ride off into the sunset with dopey smiles on their faces, drunk off the love they had for one another. 

It was quite the opposite. They sat at opposite ends of her elongated dining room table, fiddling with the delicate wine glasses that held a dangerous amount of sweet red wine that she’d refilled twice more since his arrival. For them to be so uncomfortable in each other’s presence was so unlike them. It drove her mad. 

The silence was deafening and could cut the tension like a sharped-bladed knife. Cleotha wrapped her hand around the body of the glass and brought it to her lips, “What brought you here, Joe?” Her words were muffled from the glass, but he heard her loud and clear. 

Joe’s jaw clenched as he thought long and hard about his answer. Nothing that he said would matter regardless of how he tried to phrase it. Simply put, he was scared. But, he knew she wouldn’t hear that. They were so in love and he proposed to her. If he was scared, he would’ve broken it off sooner than later. But, it wasn’t that he was scared of commitment or being together with her forever, he doubted his ability to be the best life partner he could be. 

His parents’ relationship wasn’t successful; hell, they left him an orphan. There was no guidance on how to be a good man let alone a good partner and soon-to-be husband. So, as he explained to her, “I panicked.” 

Cleotha Jean was not easily amused, but his response drew a chuckle from her. Her tired eyes held no life. “Panicked? About what, Joe? I-I-I’m not understanding. We were together for almost 3 years and you panic weeks after our engagement, call off the wedding, then show up at my house months later just to say you panicked?” 

Joe inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. She was upset and rightfully so. But, the harshness of her words made him want to crawl into a hole and stay there. It was deeper than she thought. Yet, being the emotionally intelligent person she worked to be, Cleotha took note of how he retreated further into his seat and sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. But, Joe, I just…panicked for what?” 

He panicked. She hurt. She’d lay in bed at night and pray that God would mend the heart she’d feel break like rock to a window. She’d writhe in pain, begging for him to return. He panicked while she suffered. 

“I got in my head, Cleo,” he said shortly. “You have both parents in your life and your father loves your mother more than words can describe. He’s a good man, a good father, and a good husband. I never had that example. I freaked out. I don’t have parents, I don’t have an example of what a good husband should be. The last thing I wanted to do was take this huge step and failing you as a husband. That kind of weight either makes or breaks a person…and it broke me. And I’m sorry for putting you through that.” 

Cleotha’s lips twisted as she fought the lump that formed in her throat. She sought for any form of dishonesty or lack of truth in his eyes, but all she saw was a plea for forgiveness. One more chance, he begged silently.

“It might take forever and a day for you to forgive me, but…I can’t do life without you, Cleo. I tried and I’ve been so miserable. Words can’t make up for anything, but I want to start over.” 

And the question became, would she agree? 

-

“A little to the left, baby,” she said, hands pressed against the small of her back as she waddled toward the middle of the nursery. He glanced upward at her after he made the adjustment to the position of the white crub. “Perfect. Thank you, baby.” 

Her husband stood to his feet and walked toward her with a smile on his face. He planted the softest kiss against her lips, hands around her swelling belly. “You’re welcome. Looking beautiful as ever.” His lips grazed the skin of her neck, making her eyes flutter closed. She giggled and pressed her hands against his chest. “Joe…” 

“I’ll never get enough of you, Cleo,” he drug out her name playfully and pecked her forehead. “Love you darling.” 

Cleotha smiled. Everything that she desired had fallen into place just as it should have and they were inseparable. And boldly, she repeated. “I love you too.”

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Monster Next Door - final thoughts

What an absolutely delightful show! Going in, of course I was happy to be getting a Big Thanakorn lead role, but other than that, I didn't have much in the way of expectations. (Not in a bad way, mind, I go into most shows without expectation). But MND really knocked my socks off in the most wholesome and healthiest of ways.

I'm an introvert who grew up before the concept was normalized, and it wasn't until I was an adult that I was able to get a framework for why I was the way that I was, and that there were many strengths to being that way. My parents were both introverted as well, so fortunately I didn't get pressured at home, but I certainly got that pressure in many other forms from living in and being educated in an extrovert-biased culture.

So this series made me feel very seen.

Things I loved about this show:

A real understanding and respect of introversion. Including the fact that it is a spectrum, that we can fall in different places on it at different times due to a variety of factors, and that comfort can make it cost less energy to be around people - hence Diew being able to spend time working with Game & Jane, or hanging with God & his friends, with it being less draining as he feels more comfortable with them.

Separating introversion and anxiety/trauma. They did a great job showing how Diew's ex's treatment of him, because of the unwillingness to accept him as he was, was what caused his fears around being vulnerable with God, not the introversion itself.

That pressuring people is bullshit. Let's face it, when you pressure someone, you are trying to force change on them - the change that you personally think is best for them, not what they want for themselves. It's an act of control, and though people may use love as a reason for it, it's not genuine love. And they showed this so well, with both Diew's mom and Jane - the more they pressured, the more their relationships fell apart with Diew. Whereas when people took the time to encourage instead of pressure, it allowed Diew to grow on his own terms and at his own pace.

That often others trying to force change on us is a reflection on their own fears and challenges. Again shown via both Diew's mom and Jane. And, importantly - this does not make it ok, and we don't have to accept it. We can hold those boundaries - but we can also keep enough compassion to allow for change in others if and when it happens.

I really liked how they showed how much Diew's mom was able to also free herself by letting go of being driven by her fear for Diew. It's really easy to get mad at a lot of the parents in these series, but there is truth in how much people get imprisoned by their own insecurities and fears. Diew still putting in work to communicate, because she's his mother and he loves her, gave her a pathway to be able to do the same back.

Diew and God both being such healthy communicators. They were so willing to genuinely listen and put in the work to understand each other. They were both honest about their insecurities and what needed to be addressed to work through them. There's a lot of tv couples I'm not sure will last very long, but these two are so damn solid.

The friend group. Friends matter a lot. Your partner's friends matter. Who we choose to be around affects us deeply. Be around people who are cool, not dicks.

That you can be introverted and also deeply horny. I mean, who wouldn't want to grope a sweaty Big?

I'm sure I'm leaving out plenty, but overall, just such a good watch.

Only negative - don't keep turtles in tiny little cages, pretty please.

[jaehyunnie77]

Exile

summary: you and jaehyun are endgame, or rather were supposed to be endgame. the short story of your relationship and the ending.

pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

genre: lovers to ex's | break up au | holy trinity

word count: 5.8k

warnings: cuss words, pet names (baby/babe), mentions of food, ass slapping, oral (female recieving), unprotected sex (please wrap it up), orgasm denial, a bit of dom jaehyun, creampie.

a/n: happy holidays everyone! i've been working on this on and off for i dont know how many months, but it's here now lol. thank you to this lovely anon for requesting this scenario. i swear i didn't mean for this to be so long hehe. also, exile by taylor swift ft bon iver has been stuck in my head so that's where the title came from lol. happy sad reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated.

--------------

the meeting

“Order for Y/N.” The barista calls out. You quickly throw your phone into your bag and hurriedly walk to the counter to grab your coffee. Today, out of all days, you just had to sleep through your alarm and now you’re running late. You should have been in class ten minutes ago to prepare for the lecture to begin.

Too deep in your thoughts, you didn’t see or hear the person behind you. When you turned around, you bumped into something hard as your hot coffee spilled on the man’s shirt. Not only that, but whatever you bumped into, made you lose your balance making you land on your ass.

“Ow. Shit.” You say quietly before looking up and seeing the stain on a white crisp shirt. Petrified, you grab the napkins from a nearby table and begin patting the coffee stain hoping it would go away. “I am so sorry!” You’re not really thinking or using your brain at the moment as you keep repeating sorry.

“It’s okay.” The man chuckles deeply. He wasn’t even mad about it. When it seemed like you didn’t hear him, or stop patting his shirt, he softly held onto your wrist to halt your movements. It then registers in your brain that you are invading someone’s personal space. You slowly look up at him and he has the most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

You quickly look away and stare at his shirt, trying to hide the smile creeping on your face. This just had to be your luck today didn’t it.

“I’m Jaehyun.” He says softly looking down at you.

Damn even his name is beautiful.

You’re still staring at his shirt to gather your nerves to calm down when you look up and tell him your name. You give him a soft smile in return before saying one last time, “I’m really sorry about your shirt. I can pay for your coffee or dry cleaning.”

All the cute man does is chuckle at your cuteness. “It’s okay. Honestly, I’ve been trying to get rid of this shirt for the longest time and now I have a reason to.” That made you laugh. At least he wasn’t yelling at you. “You can make it up to me though.”

Your eyes go wide as you violently nod your head. “Oh my god yes please. Name it. I really do feel bad even if you want to throw it away. It is the least I can do.”

He laughs at your comment, “Go on a date with me. Tonight?” He says confidently. Now that took you by surprise.

“You’re very straightforward aren’t you?” you smirk.

Jaehyun gives you a lopsided smile making his dimples pop out. “Yeah, I can be, but you did say it’s the least you can do to make it up to me.” He had you at that and you didn’t even need to second guess your answer when you said yes.

After that first interaction and date, you went on multiple dates to get to know each other. He was easy to get along with and he made you laugh uncontrollably. Something people have a very hard time doing. In all, he just made you the happiest you’ve ever been. By the third week of dating, you two were officially together.

You did everything together from dates, him picking you up from class, going grocery shopping, hanging out and not doing anything special, cooking together, singing karaoke together, and everything in between.

By the sixth month, you both met each other’s families. You’ve been in several relationships in the past, but the relationship with Jaehyun felt different. Solely because he was different. Some may say you both moved a little too quickly for their liking, but hey, once you know, you just know and you roll with it. There wasn’t anything or anyone that would make you doubt him or the love you two share.

He understood you and listened to you whenever you needed to vent and he was always there whenever you needed him. You were each other’s biggest supporters and motivators to chase after what you wanted. On top of that, he made you feel like a princess with the way he showers you with love. There are days where you can’t believe you are living out your very own fairytale of finding your true love. Of finding your prince charming and falling head over heels in love with him and living happily ever after.

Jeong Jaehyun is perfect and he is all yours.

the fourth year

A lot has happened in the last four years. After a year of dating, you two moved into a small apartment together that was only ten minutes away from your college. You both graduated college with your degrees and are currently working for your dream companies. You’ve both been on endless vacations from New York, Chicago, Canada, Milan, and London to name a few. Four years later and you still couldn’t believe the life you’ve built with Jaehyun so far.

It's a Friday night and you couldn’t wait to walk into your apartment and change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle with your boyfriend. What you didn’t expect is to be met with almost an empty apartment.

“Baby are you home?” you yell out as you take off your shoes by the door. The lights are on, his shoes are by the door, but there was no one in sight. Usually, you could hear your boyfriend anywhere in the apartment due to him having a heavy hand and being the clumsy dork he is.

“Babe?” you yell out once more as you walk further into the living room. That is when you see a note on the couch. You pick it up and read it as a smile forms on your face and the butterflies swarm in your tummy again.

Follow the rose pedals cutie.

You look down and sure enough, there are roses on the ground leading you out of the living room. You follow exactly what your boyfriend said until you reach your kitchen island with another note.

Remember this last minute trip to New York and we were in such a rush we forgot to bring jackets and we almost froze to death?

You laugh out loud because that specific trip was one of your most treasured ones with him. You both were so excited to be doing this last minute that you were not prepared whatsoever and forgot it was winter. You look up and there is a photo of you both snuggling close together in front of the Winter Garden Theatre.

You look around hoping to see him, but there was more roses to follow. At each random stop in your apartment, there was a note or a favorite memory and pictures. The roses end their trail on the balcony and as you step on that’s when you see him.

Soft music is playing in the background, lit candles are everywhere, and there is a table in the middle of your small patio. Your eyes find Jaehyun’s loving eyes and you take in his outfit – black and white suit. You look past him and see a wall full of pictures of your time together, balloons hanging from the ceiling, along with dangling lights.

“Jae, what is all of this?” you chuckle with tears forming in your eyes.

Jaehyun walks over to you and gives you a tender kiss. “Hi.” He gives you his dimple smile and turns around to give you a glass of champagne.

“Is there a special occasion I forgot about?” you softly giggle trying to mentally picture your full packed schedule.

“Y/N LY/N. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Jaehyun tells you. “You are always there whenever I need guiding and always know how to make me smile. If I’m having a horrible day, you know just what to say to make it better. Your laugh is contagious and music to my ears and I swear you give me serotonin every single time. You are my best friend, my rock, and the person I am madly, deeply in love with. There is no other person I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, so that is why I have to ask,” He gets down on one knee and takes out a black box and opens it, “Y/N, would you do me this honor and be my wife for forever?” In the black box laid the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen.

You look away from the ring and into his glistening eyes. God you love this man so much. You wipe your tears as you nod fiercely. “Yes! Yes and yes! A million times yes!” Jaehyun smiles widely taking the ring out with shaking hands and placing it on your fourth finger. He gets up and kisses you passionately as he holds you tight in his embrace.

“I love you Mrs. Jeong.” He says.

“And I love you Mr. Jeong.” You laugh before going in for another kiss.

That night you two made endless love that you swear you heard your neighbor banging on the wall for you both to shut up.

The following week, you both announced the news to your family and friends and as expected, everyone is happy for you both. You couldn’t stop smiling and you couldn’t wait to start planning your dream wedding to the love of your life. You couldn’t wait for your future.

the drunk night

It has been eight months since you got engaged and an exhausting but exciting eight months. The wedding date was set to hold in fourth months. As much as you were excited in the process of planning your wedding and building your forever with Jaehyun, he didn’t seem too excited in the last month or so. You would try to get his input about the cake, the venue, the guest list, the location, down to the color schemes and all you’ve got in return was a “choose whichever makes you happy.”

Sure, if this was any other person, you’d look the other way and just be glad to plan it, except, this is Jaehyun. The one who makes it obvious and known when he’s excited, tired, angry, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and all other emotions in between. You’ve noticed him becoming less excited and more exhausted whenever the topic of the wedding comes up.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making him feel anxious or brushing it off like it was nothing. You’ve tried multiple times to coax it out of him and yet all you got in return was a snappy attitude and him repeatedly saying, “it’s nothing.”

It is 10:30 on a Saturday night and Jaehyun still hasn’t come home. You’ve called and texted him multiple times only for his phone go straight to voicemail and no text back. You were starting to get worried since he always made sure to check in with you if he was going to be out late.

Four hours passed and still the same outcome. You scroll through your contacts to find his best friend’s phone number. Just as you are about to dial Johnny, you hear the door unlock and there walks in your fiancé. Your very drunk fiancé.

Jaehyun is notoriously known to have a high alcohol intolerance since college, so the fact that he is bat shit drunk in front of you tells you he was clearly drinking something away.

“Ow. Shit.” He mumbles as he stumbles to the floor. You jump from the couch and ran straight to him. “Oh hi honey. You’re still up?” He gives you a lopsided smile.

“How much did you drink Jae?” you ask worriedly. You’ve never seen this side of him before.

“Just enough.” He sighs deeply and attempts to get up only for his movements to be sluggish.

You get up and attempt to get him off the floor. After the tenth time, you succeeded and stumble to your shared room. “Come on babe, let’s get you to bed.” 

“You are so pretty. You’ve always been so pretty Y/N.” he mumbles and begins to poke your cheeks.

“And so are you handsome.” You try to return the same enthusiasm, but to no avail. Inside, your brain kept asking a million different questions of why he drank so much.

“I miss you.” he pouts at you once he laid on the bed.

“I miss you too silly.”

“No, I know. I mean, I just really miss you.”

“I’m always here, what are you talking about bubs.” You chuckle.

“No you’re not. It’s different. It all feels different.”

Just before you’re about to ask him what he meant, he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. You sigh deeply and do your best to get him out of his jeans and shirt so he could sleep more comfortably.

As you lay next to him, his words kept replaying in your brain and along with that, you begin to think back on how things been between you both lately. Before anxiety could overwhelm you, you force your mind to shut up and try getting some sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to Jaehyun cooking breakfast and for a minute you forgot what happened the night before. You get out of bed and head over to see your fiancé focusing on the egg omelet. For a very drunk person the night before, he seems to be doing okay without a hangover.

“Good morning handsome. It smells good in here.” You warmly smile as you hug him from behind.

“Good morning babe.”

“How are you feeling?” you cautiously ask.

“Doing okay. No hangover it that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

“I wish I had your superpowers. You came home super drunk.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. Had too much to drink with Johnny and the boys and just lost count.”

Was it just that? Have you been overthinking about the situation over nothing?

“It’s okay. We all need to get drunk once in a while, though, you’re hard to get off of the floor when you’re that wasted.” You both laugh at that comment and continue on the day with each other.

In the back of your mind, you felt this particular moment was what started it all for what was to come. You wish you had seen the signs sooner.

the blowup

It’s been two months since the night Jaehyun came home drunk and since then, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him. You were scared of what was coming or what he had to say if you asked him about what he said. So instead, you pretend that everything was fine in your relationship, when in reality it was the total opposite.

You both felt different and couldn’t come to terms with it.

“I’m not saying that we can’t have both entrees Jaehyun. You’re missing the point.” You say trying to control your temper from boiling over.

“Then who gives a fuck if we have steak or chicken? Or mashed potatoes and carrots? No one is going to give a flying fuck as long as you have the damn wedding Y/N!” Jaehyun exclaims.

It wasn’t that you were afraid of him, its just you’ve never seen him this upset before. You sit there in shock written all over your face.

“Jae-“

“Seriously Y/N, do you really think people are going to judge you for the food you serve them? No. All they care about it having free booze, free meal, and the wedding. That’s all people care about.”

“Well maybe if you have given me your input from the start then we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about entrees!” you finally said as you hit your tipping point. There was no way you were going to get yelled at when you were the only one planning this alone.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault we can’t choose what the hell to eat.” Jaehyun scoffs.

Taking a deep breath as you try to calm yourself down, you try to understand where he is coming from. “Look I get you’re stressed out from the new promotion at work –“

“This has nothing to do with work!”

You frowned at his response, confusion taking over. “Then where is this coming from?”

He deeply sighs annoyingly, “Nowhere.”

You get up from the couch when you start to feel angry, “No, clearly something is bothering you just like it has been for the last couple of months. Spill out Jae, what is going on?”

“It’s nothing, forget about it.”

You were growing more frustrated and couldn’t help the next words to slip out of your mouth, “Are you seeing someone else? Is that it? Is that why you’re so miserable all the time!?”

His eyes widen as he also gets up from the couch. “Of course not! I am not a cheater and you know it!”

“Pft, then what is it because all you’ve been doing lately is give me the same repetitive answers with an attitude for the past several months. So whatever you have to say, just –“

“Fine! I don’t want to get married! There I said it! Are you happy now?”

You both stand there in shock at the words he said. You from hearing it and him for finally saying it out loud.

“What?” you ask in almost a whisper in disbelief.

Jaehyun sighs deeply before letting it out, “I don’t want to get married.”

You are so confused on how this turned an ugly left. “I don’t – I don’t understand. You don’t want to get married anymore?”

“No.” he says sadly.

“Did you ever wanted to get married in the first place?”

He takes a deep breath once again and shakes his head.

Now your entire world is flip upside down.

“Then why would you ask in the first place Jaehyun?” you cried.

“Because you’re you. You’ve always wanted to get married and we kept talking about it, and I thought at the time it was what I wanted as well at the time. I just wanted to make you happy.”

You stand there, your heart breaking into pieces as your mind and heart went to war with each other.

“So you only asked because I wanted to get married?”

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant for this to happen.”

Just like that, the dam in your eyes begin to fall as you try to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you’re crying so hard.

“It’s been four years and you didn’t have it in you to be honest with me? Ab-about our relationship. Do you even still love m-me?”

Silence.

It was getting harder for the words to form and come out of your mouth. All Jaehyun could do in that moment is hold you close and let both of you cry throughout the night.

the hide and seek

Four years. That’s how long you spent your life with someone you thought would be your forever, only for it to go down the drain.

Everyone thought you and Jaehyun would be endgame – your family, friends, co-workers, and strangers alike have told you that both are endgame. Jaehyun has said it. You’ve said it. So, why is it, as you sit on the couch two weeks later, wonder where, when, and how did it all go wrong. How did one precious timeframe of tender loving turn into a disaster nightmare?

“I guess we should talk.” Jaehyun says carefully when he sees you staring into nothing on the couch. He knows it is his fault for why you are in this position and for hurting you.

You didn’t reply to him and felt the other end of the couch dip as he sits down.

It is quiet for a moment before you ask the question that’s been on your mind for the past two weeks “Where do we go from here?”

Jaehyun stares at the wall ahead of him, “I think we both know what needs to happen.” He looks to you and he truly regrets hurting you.

“When did you know?” you ask turning to face him.

“Know what?”

“That you didn’t love me anymore?”

He knew this question was coming, but didn’t expect it to be so hard to tell you the truth. “I still love you Y/N, but it’s not the same as when we first started dating.”

“So, when?”

“Four months ago.”

You nodded your head. That was the time he started coming home late and that one drunken night he came stumbling into your apartment. You think back to last year and try to analyze where you went wrong, though the only thing you can think of was you both were committed to your jobs. Which resulted in not having enough time for each other and as far as sex goes it happened at least twice a month.

Damn, even the sex was lacking when you both used to have crazy sex.  

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me? We could have worked something out you know.” You say sadly.

“Yeah, but what would be the point? You finally got that promotion you’ve been wanting right after New Years and I ended up covering more hours at work. We didn’t have time for each other and if we did, it was mostly sleeping in from how exhausted we were.”

“But you’re my fiancé, boyfriend, whatever. We should have still communicated Jaehyun.”

“I know and that is my fault. I will admit and own up to that. I thought if I proposed to you, it would bring back the love I felt for you, but it never did. So, instead of manning up, I was a coward and held in my true feelings in order to save you the heartbreak, but I see now I was wrong.”

“If we had never fought two weeks ago, would you have said something? Would you have called off the wedding when it was time?”

At that Jaehyun became quiet. “I don’t know.”

You couldn’t handle sitting on the couch any longer with the man you still love and hear his honesty. You wanted to scream, throw his things out the door, break something, but instead, you just left the living room in defeat.

That night he slept in the guest room, while you slept by yourself in your once shared mastered bedroom. That arrangement continued for another two weeks. It shouldn’t be like this. None of this should even be happening. Maybe it was due to the upcoming embarrassment of you two breaking up and telling your friends and family about it. As much as you try to find ways to still be in a relationship with Jaehyun, you knew deep down that if he no longer loved you, there isn’t much of a relationship.

You knew what the next step is and as much as you don’t want to face it, it’s best if you both start to move forward with your own lives.

You walk into the living room where he is slouched on the couch mindlessly watching the TV. You take a deep breath to gather all your courage. “I think we should officially break up.”

Jaehyun’s eyes find yours in an instant and straightens up. He just gives you a small nod.

“I found some apartment listings so I’ll move out in a few weeks or so.” you gave him a nod and turn back to your room.

The look on his face is either from the surprise break up or shock that you’re the one moving out. To be honest, he shouldn’t be feeling either emotions because this would have been the outcome one way or another and he knew that.

He just didn’t think it would hurt him this much.

the end

Few weeks or so turned into a month because holy shit apartment searching is hell. There was no way you’re moving back with your parents or crashing at your friends places. Living with your ex was new. Sure, the first few days were awkward as you try to not bump into each other or walk into bathrooms when being used. Later, you both somehow managed to make it work – by coming home late and leaving early.

After finally finding an apartment near your work, you start packing your things. As you pack the last remaining items, you never realized you had so many things. You decided to take a break and have a nice long hot shower since Jaehyun was still at work. While you’re in the shower, Jaehyun comes home early from work. He hears the soft R&B music coming from your once shared room.

To him, he was grateful that it wasn’t a toxic breakup or any 24/7 bitterness between you both. He kept replaying the night you told him you were moving out and he couldn’t put into words how he felt. Too deep in his thoughts and unaware of your presence, you walk out of your room naked.

It’s something you always do when you’re home alone. Jaehyun’s eyes goes wide from seeing all of you as you try to cover up your body with a towel. It’s a sight he truly missed seeing.

“Oh my god! Jaehyun! You’re home. I’m so sorry.” You say catching your breath and slowing down your heart rate.

All Jaehyun can do is stare at you before nodding, “Yeah, I decided to call it a day.” He quickly turns around as your nipple peaks out of your rushed towel. “I’m going to make some dinner.” He quickly rushes into the kitchen to calm himself down.

Something comes over you the moment you see his back enter the kitchen. You do something, something you haven’t done in a hot second and let your towel fall to the ground. You follow after him naked. Jaehyun has his back to you as he looks at the pantry trying to rid thoughts of you.

“Jae.” You say softly gaining his attention.

Jaehyun turns around and once again gets fluster at you being naked in front of him. He takes in your perfect body and he can’t even remember the last time you had sex. Neither of you can. You guess it has been a while.

You slowly walk up to him as he stands there frozen watching your every move. His eyes meets yours filled with lust and longing. You softly touch his arm and caress it before wrapping them around your waist.

“Y/N-“

“If you don’t want to, I’ll stop.” You interject. You’re super horny and from the way he’s eyeing you, you know he is too, but when he doesn’t make a move or say anything, you figured he wasn’t in the mood. Embarrassment begins to take over as you stop touching him and backing away from his form.

“I’m sorry –“ you begin, but your sentence is cut short when he grabs your waist and clashes your lips together.

The kiss is hungry as if you two are both starved. In a sense, you’re both starving for each other. You take off his shirt revealing his perfect abs and begin to undo his belt. Jaehyun’s lips travel to your jaw, neck, down to your clavicle. Once he’s free of his jeans, he kicks them off and kisses you once more.

His hands goes all over your bare back before giving your ass a squeeze and slapping it earning a gasp from you. He then surprises you by picking you up and sitting you on the counter where he kisses you all over your chest. He kisses both breasts before diving to your right nipple and sucking it as his hand pinches and stimulates the left and repeats the motions.

You gasp as he continues to arouse you and you unconsciously begin moving your hips and wrapping your legs around him.

“Jae.” You whine. He looks up at you, your tit still in his mouth and his hooded eyes are dark. “I need you.” you finally manage to say.

He nods and leaves a trail of kisses up to your lips. With your legs still wrap around him, he picks you up smoothly and walks back to your shared room. He lays you down gently and begin giving the rest of your body kisses down to your core.

“Jaehyun.” You say out of breath because you know he’s teasing you right now.

“Just a little taste first baby.”

He kisses your inner thighs before kissing your clit. His tongue licks your wet folds and you couldn’t help the moan that comes out of your mouth.

“It has been too long.” He says more to himself, but you still heard him.

He dives his tongue into your hole as his nose brushes against your clit. He knows what you want and he gives it to you. He sucks and licks as his digits enters you. You are so horny from all the foreplay, it didn’t take long for you to come.

“That’s my good girl.” He says breathlessly. You look down at him to see your essence on his chin. He holds his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before getting off his knees to crawl over you. Jaehyun doesn’t give you time to recover when he gathers your wetness and slides between your folds. Jaehyun positions the head directly in front of your soaking hole and slowly pushes himself inside.

No matter how many times you two do this, you never get used to how much he beautifully stretches you out. Inch by inch, you feel every rigid of his perfect cock in you. You gasp when he’s fully seated inside of you and he gives you a minute to catch your breath before you tell him to move.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, but instead of going slow, he surprises you by pulling out to the tip and slamming back into you. He repeats the motion until he’s fucking you hard and fast. Just the way you both like it.

“Fuck you are so beautiful. I love the way you take my cock.”

You moan in between gasps, “Always for you.”

Jaehyun changes positions as he sits on his heels, pulling you closer to him and holding up your legs in the air. The position lets him watch your soaked pussy swallow him whole whenever he fucks deeper into you. You hold onto your boobs when he goes faster and fuck you have missed this.

“Jae I’m close.”

“Already going to cum? Hold it in just a bit longer.” His voice is deep.

You do as you’re told and try to hold it in as long as you can until it was too much. “Jaehyun!”

“Come on my dick baby.” You let go as soon as he tells you. The pure bliss takes over every single nerve as you cum hard. Your mouth goes slack, eyes closed, and all Jaehyun can do in that one moment is be mesmerize by your perfection.

He slows his pace down enough to let you catch your breath, but Jaehyun being Jaehyun, that didn’t last long. He hovers over you once more with your legs now by your face. This position makes it so much more intimate and deeper.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I want you to cum in me. Please baby.” How could he not resist you when you begged so cutely and so fucked out. He kisses you hard as his pace returns to animalistic and thrusts harder into you.

“Please daddy. I want it all. I want you to fill me up.” You knew just what to say to get him going. His hips begin to falter as his cock twitches and cums in you.

His moans and groans is so sexy, you almost come again from the sound of it.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun says when he finally catches his breath. You stay in that blissful moment before he pulls out. You feel your mix liquids drip down while he goes into the bathroom to get you a warm towel to clean you up. He discards the towel onto the floor as he lies down next to you pulling the blanket over your naked bodies.

“So that just happened.” You say not knowing exactly what to do next.

“Yeah.” He says staring at the ceiling. Neither of you have ever been in this position before, let alone have random one night stands before you two met all those years ago.

“I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you.” he breaks the silence.

“I know. As much as I want to hate you for it, I can’t and I don’t. I somehow get it. We just grew apart I guess.” You say quietly. In reality, it was true. You both are two completely different people than you were a year ago or four years ago.

“Can we just stay like this for one night? One last time?” he turns to look at you with pleading eyes. He wants you to say yes. He wants to hold you in his arms and watch Disney movies. He wants to be next to you throughout the night.

You look back at him and give him a sad smile, “One last time.” You whisper. You kiss him as you pull yourself on top to straddle him.

One last time. One last night. You both used it wrap in each other and bring each other to ecstasy and to the heavens above, all for it to repeat until the early morning.

Your by the door not really wanting to leave, but you have to take the first step in moving forward with your life.

“So this is really it isn’t it?” he asks softly.

“Yeah I guess it is.” You whisper.

Somehow seeing the last box by the door and you getting ready to leave, hurt him. It’s strange to see the person you’ve spent four long years with suddenly walking out the door to never return again.

“Thank you Jaehyun for everything.” You look up at him and give him one last kiss on his soft lips. The lips that will for sure take a while to forget. You linger there for a moment taking it all in, before forcing yourself to pick up the box in your arms and walking away. Away from the man you loved – still love – and walk straight into the unknown future.

Jaehyun watches you get into your car and drive off away from him and the home you once shared. For the first time in a long time he wanted to cry. The memories the two of you shared comes rushing back and overwhelms him.

He knows he needed to let you go. He knew he couldn’t go through with the wedding and he knew you deserved someone better than him.

When he couldn’t see your car anymore, he looks around the empty apartment. For the first time in years, Jeong Jaehyun finally lets out all of his pent up emotions. The apartment feeling cold and lonely without you there. Without you in his life.

[iforgotwhaticalledthis]

Rae Morningstar and Loneliness: An Analysis

SO something that occurred to me recently is how much being alone effects. well. everyone in Fable(not like everyone everyone but like,a not insignificant amount of people.) Their society is shown to be one of few(if not the only) thriving communities, and lots of people deal with being alone either before they join the cast, or during. Take Ulysses. when he shows up in Fable, he has to grapple with the fact that he is the last of his race. Same with Ari- being one of the last of the Aether. And for characters like Icarus, Caspian, and many many others, they have to deal with being alone before they find a community of people they can be around and trust. One such case is Rae Morningstar.

At the start of the story, Rae is alone. Almost everyone has some form of connection. Icarus, Centross, and Easton have ominous bane. Momboo, Jamie, and Easton are family. Haley already knows Momboo. The only people without any connection are Athena, Will, and Rae. Will's not really around much, and well, Athena had a retconned family so it doesn't really affect his character. (Though i totally do have thoughts about this post retconned Athena and stuff but this is a Rae post). However, by the end of the series, Rae is deeply embedded in the community. He was alone once. and he tries his hardest never to be again.

Rae's lowest moments are when he's alone. In season 1, when Enderian makes him that offer, he probably wouldve taken it in a heartbeat, if not for the fact that if he did, he would be Alone. (and also that he might be used against his friends) In s2 when he finds out he and Icarus are brothers, he is so desperate to hold on to that relationship. I think its why he's so desperate to keep that connection. He doesnt want to lose his brother again. Also the beginning of S2 IS SO bad for him. All of his friends, his family all gone. he's alone yet surrounded by the people he knows. He mentions how bad it wouldve been if not for Ocie- the one person who can relate to him. Someone that stops him from being completely alone. Then theres the sculk arc, which, do I even have to explain? In s3 , Rae gets mad at Centross. A big reason is because Centross left him alone. And when Icarus starts to isolate, later on, what does Rae say, in concern "I just don't want them to be alone." Rae was alone before. so now he tries to make sure that no one else in the community is. For example, he reaches out to everyone. He's always the one people go to for help, so that when they need it they won't be alone. See where Im going with this?

Another thing. Each and every time Rae met one of his partners? Bot him and the partner have been alone. Take Caspian- I mean Cas was alone in the prison, he was isolated. And Rae had been banned from seeing Jamie and Athena was being kept away. The two people he was closest too at the time had left him- even if it wasn't their own choice. When he met Aax, everyone he knew and loved had forgotten him. And Aax had been sitting alone in a cave. Waiting for Theo to return. Even when they first met, Aax was alone, being the only one to escape from the Telchins, and Rae was trapped in a home where he had no one to turn to. When he met Fenris, ,he was alone, having run from his home to keep people safe. And Fenris was alone after being turned into a wolf who couldnt even talk to other animals. for possibly centuries.

Even in smaller things, he doesn't want to be alone, like when he learns Centross and Fenris forgave Ven. He doesn't know how to deal with that anger, now that he's alone in it. He gets tatoos so that he wont forget these people, so he'll never be alone. And at the end of hist story? He and his family turn into gods. He'll never be alone, not even in death.

Anyway i just had some thoughts. if you noticed any inaccuries/have any points to add/ disagree with any of my points please reblog! i want to see waht other people think. Also i might make a follow up on how loneliness affects other characters, this really got me thinking

[tfdtreasurer]

sorry for not asking about eridan but, why the feferi hate?

Don't worry anon I fully expected this question to be one of the first. Besides, Eridan and Feferi are foils to each other and thus any look at one is being done in the context of the other. Narratively, they're inseparable. My actual nuanced opinion on Feferi is that she's a bad person, a fascinating character, and yet one that I feel is so tragically misunderstood by everybody that it leads me to not liking how she's liked. If that makes any sense.

The short answer is she's one of the most casteist trolls out there. And not in the way Equius is, or Gamzee becomes, or Eridan claims to be. Her's is just a little too real and it kinda gives me icky vibes.

The long answer is... Well there's a reason a whole essay was in the works. If Eridan alludes to Herman Melville's novel Moby Dick of 1851, Feferi alludes to Rudyard Kipling's poem "The White Man's Burden" of 1899 (which in a semi timely way, was published to the context of the Philippine–American War). In her first pesterlog with Kanaya, "burdens" is the word used to refer to her responsibilities. Not really enough on it's own, but then you keep reading Feferi pages. Eridan being the best that alternia breeds, seemingly exiled from living in the sea to serve her captives' needs. The captivity of animals that she's associated with bolstering that. How she espouses a desire to unite the races, but mentions having plans for the throne, implicitly retaining imperial power. Her weapon being named after the triple entente, an alliance of colonialist powers. How she remarks royalty is so civilized, alluding to the colonialist projects of that era being referred to the West's civilizing mission. The way she talks to Jade and is quick to use the r-word, like she'd have to make her speech a hundred times plain. Just the way that she often has other people doing things for her that seems to emulate the delegatory voice of the poem. Eridan being the orphaner for her. In the Make her Pay flash (which is the best flash don't @ me), she has Sollux fight for her as she seems to sit back. Even her creation of the dream bubbles is something she asks of the gods to do for her. And if you think I'm searching for patterns in the clouds here with my ancient-ass 1800s literature: just take a look at the regime of Beforus Feferi. How casteism wasn't abolished, it just became patronizing the lesser and pretending that considering them lesser but in need wasn't the inequality is was.

Eridan is interesting in combination with her because they're designed to contrast each other. Eridan is so deeply associated with hipster inauthenticity, pretention, over exaggerated theater, and explicitly mentions that villainy is practically a performance for her. She calls comin off as a diabolical sort "showwmanship." But pay attention to the way that each frame dropping their quirk. Eridan drops her to become more genuine for a moment. Feferi has to be asked to drop hers and gets mad that she's had to peasantify herself. And the tragic part is that although Eridan is in the position of the audience in that poem, in essence the soldier sent to brutally occupy the Philippines, Feferi also sees her as one of the ones needing to be civilized. Eridan is to her half devil and half child, fluttering and wild, needing to be restrained by a moirallegience she seems to have never wanted from her.

I don't mean to let Eridan totally off the hook. I see her character as being under a dramatic form of siege mentality, perceiving herself to be the target of everyone's hostility. As she's the orphaner, I feel vaguely inclined to give it to her a bit. Like yeah, I can't imagine that job title comes with the perk of making friends. But her siege mentality xenophobia primarily makes her think that everybody that isn't Feferi must hate her, to the point where she only trusts people when her relationship with them is adversarial. The subversion central to Eridan's character is that while she may be genuinely xenophobic, she isn't a supremacist, nor genocidal in intent. The weapons she claims to be amassing to conquer the surface aren't military, it's just whaling equipment she uses to prevent everyone dying. The Brand Whaling Gun and Bomb Lance. Some derivative of the Greener swivel harpoon gun (that I have yet to 100% identify but I do have the original picture used for the Photoshop). Broken killing lance heads (as can be seen in my pfp being held by captain Ahab).

So why do I hate Feferi? Because she does think herself superior to others, in a way that is supremacist. She's a paternalistic casteist of the highest order and it is gross.

But here's the twist: if people believed in the Feferi I just outlined, I'd love the character. Because I still do fundamentally believe in redemption and rehabilitation of people with really shitty beliefs. Feferi could've been a character who narratively served to demonstrate how her beliefs may appear good intentioned, but actually warns the audience of the trap of real life paternalistic racism that justifies colonialism with a friendly face. A narrative where she had character development and evolved alongside Eridan. Symbolically, the orphaner killing the idea of paternalism would've been goddamned beautiful. But instead, what I got, what we got, was the fandom never picking up on the nuances, the comic itself electing to skirt around the problematic elements, all leading up to this strange quirk of Homestuck where once you're aware of all this, you really can't look at cutesy Feferi fanart the same way ever again because it never gets addressed. And I think that's sad. But, until the people that like Feferi are in the same boat as me in wanting a redemption arc for her, I'm gonna stay her #1 hater.

[xxxregulusblackxxx]

Okay, here's my full rant on The Sun and The Star. It's contains spoilers so keep scrolling if you don't want those

I absolutely love it, it's cute, it's Sad, it's angsty, the fluffy and your scared for what's going to happen to the character. Dionysus is like a Therapist and older brother figure to Nico which I'm just loving, he admits Nico and Will are his favorite demigods, we get more Chiron which I love, we get mentions of the Trials of Apollo, we get to see Nico's grief over Jason, Piper and Nico have a talk about it and their sexualities! We get Will's POV and he's scared and self-conscious. He thinks he's not enough for Nico which is so sad but also reflected with Nico thinking he's not enough for Will and still trying to push him away suddely but they both are so deeply in love that they CONSTANTLY remind each other that they're there for each other and I mean constantly! Like 5 times per chapter once in Tartarus. We get a to see Solangelo going to PercyBeth for advice we get MORE SALLY CONTENT! We get to see how Nico got captured and put in the Jar. We get to see Will and Nico's first kiss, and how they got together and all these snippets of their relationship as they tell this other character about it. We get SMALL BOB BACK! WE GET BOB BACK! He calls Solangelo his Sun and star! It's so cute. Nyx is the villain which I kinda love. We get to see all these dreams and flashbacks of Nico's trauma, we get more banter between Will and Nico and it's so cute. NICO GAVE WILL HIS SKELETON RING! ON MY GODS WILL WEARS IT ON A NECKLACE! WILL GAVE NICO THIS COIN THAT'S SPECIAL TO HIM! THEY TRADED KEEPSAKES!! Nico quite literally gets his personal demons made into these tiny black fluffy ball demons that he and Will named coco puffs and they follow him everywhere but no longer remind him of like all his trauma, because he accepted it all and is starting to cope. The story's about self acceptance and that you can change and chose your own path and make your own choices and not have to be who everyone thinks or wants you to be and I think it's a beautiful message.

NOW! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER?! This is a canon novel, anything Rick writes in this universe IS CANON AND THEIR CHARACTER! Just because Will's not all confident and self assured doesn't mean he's not Will. You just made a different versions of him in your head and are mad about it, same with Nico. Y'all make him this sad emo twink who can't do anything for himself and needs saving. He's a fucking powerhouse, he's strong and confident and can protect himself and not some week baby. Stop fetishising him and look at his canon character. "He's more happy and talkative" YEAH BECAUSE FROM TBTL THROUGH HOO AND A BIT OF TOA HE WAS ACTING PURELY IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE AND TRAUMA RESPONSES! He was this super happy kid extraverted and he's coming into a more mature version of that as he copes and processes his trauma. I'm so sick of people making him depressed and suicidal, he's snarky and sarcastic and self confident, he's coming into himself and is actually happy with that, he's recovering from an eating disorder too which we see that the end and he's happy about it. He likes himself and is happy which is such a wonderful thing for a character like him. It shows me and other fans, and even younger fans that you can overcome your trauma and it's not something to be fixed but to deal with and after all of the trauma and everything you've been through, you can be happy and love yourself, you can be gay, pan, bi, queer literally whatever and be happy and love yourself and I think that's such a good message and I'm so happy Rick made him that way because it shows everyone especially his younger audience and new fans that you're lovable.

Either way that's my rant, if you don't agree with me I'll gladly argue with you and will pull up quotes and WIN. Or you can scroll. If you do agree with me, hi welcome to my page, I'm pleased to meet you I'd be happy to talk

[joshriku]

What are your favorite fics you've read in the past year?

hi thank you for asking i love to talk about fics i read. im so sorry you didn't specify a fandom so i'm going to talk about everything i favorited this year so far lol. i am currently reading this cherik fic called exit wounds by lemonadegarden and i cannot stress enough how good it is. the worldbuilding, the politics, the characters, the storytelling, the emotions, just so so good. please read it if you are a cherik liker. i love it. i haven't finished it yet but omg. not in any particular order

the patch of sand where we buried the dog by shroomyystar: this fic is about luna and erik running into each other and getting ice cream. it should be normal but it's magneto family you know it's fucking insane. you don't even understand the luna and erik brainrot i gained from reading this i was like oh my god his granddaughter.. magnificent character work. to me the magneto family in comics have such a special specific dynamic and it's so well nailed here. it's crazy

make the fire rise by frozencinders: alright i don't go to baldur's gate 3 but i know enough about wyll and astarion and i really like this author so i might as well read their wyllstarion do you feel me. it's about yearning and romance novels and vampires and everything u could ever ask for. i loved it sm. one of my favorite things about this is the narration, like the way the thoughts flow so easily while keeping in beat with the character voice and making u feel so earnest..... gorgeous.......

what's the point in playin' a game you're gonna lose by shroomyystar: raven/irene in regard to the x-men blue origins revelation. raven being so fucking mad at irene but also so deeply in love with her to the point it's the same thing. when i say toxic yuri this is exactly what i mean it's exactly raven trying to kill her and thinking it's like having sex. that's EXACTLY what i mean.

gravity felled the apple (but the spiders stuck around) by maroonmusings: insomniac spider-man 2, peter gets to keep the teaching job and everyone thinks he has a favorite student (miles) which creates some drama until they figure it out a little too well. it's so fucking good. when i read peter parker, i want him to sound exactly like this. the character voices.. the non-canon characters perfectly fitting in this... the entire spider-man cast playing very well in this fic.. THE DIALOGUE! writing peter is such an art but this person GETS it.

taste the way that you bleed by maroonmusings: peter parker/astarion based on that one time they made a joke about it. again i don't go to bg3 but fantastic character work, it's literally so in character it totally sold me on this pairing - not that i need much convincing for crackships. that's just who i am brother.i fucking loved this so much.

Some Catching Up to Do by magicasen: jean/wanda! jean/wanda set in x-men first class. it's so fucking good and funny, it feels incredibly in character to the xmfc versions of them. it's such a feel-good fic about them in that period of time too, and pietro's cameos were too fucking funny. i love girls being girls and being in love :(

lech lecha by ferriswheelsdayoff: hosea matthews character analysis it will blow your tits off. i'm still floored by the amount of work into each line and how it's connected to real world teachings and how it manages to weave all of hosea's important relationships while analyzing him too. saur good

take what you give me by magentateam_bplot: storm/magneto. THIS is the sub erik type of shit i enjoy. magnificent characterization of both of them i could easily read 9k of it 1k was too little!!!

Girls' Nights by EmilyArmadillo: gabby bonding with vault laura!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like i wish we actually had gabby's reaction to talon? i mean ofc that's asking too much from duggan, or for duggan to care, but this person delivered so well. everything was so well implemented, even the bit where the other laura kinney sees her and leaves the room. ahhh so good

Graveside by NotesFromSarah: the aftermath of erik burying anya after the fire, and then him and the twins coming together to visit her burial place. i thought this was amazing and heartbreaking and also a very groundbreaking magneto fam style for me..... not a lot of fics focused on them during the 80s, which is a good place for them to be somewhat normal around each other, and this fic does such a good job of using tragedy to join them without disregarding their past. gorgeoussss

Last Chance by Lefaym: my notes on this says 'old man sex heart hands' and it's exactly that. doomed timeline cherik from dofp have such a special heart to me even if i don't go much to moviesparts as i did before and oh my god... it's about that longing that regret that they're running out of time and also your hip being sore so you can't really hold a sex position. i love it.

Speed of Silence, Sound of Silence by neverminetohold: x-men evolution pietro & erik. something goes wrong and pietro thinks he's going to be scolded, but erik doesn't scold him. 'His quickening stride screams of his wish to escape this moment that is as far removed from a lecture as it can get.

That defines their relationship in a nutshell. Will they never be able to move beyond this?' you don't even get it im insane. im insane. im insane

chatoyant by unsungillumination: this fic is the best use of the fake dating trope that's ever existed, probably because the main protagonists of this are light and L death note. L and Light get in a relationship for strategic reasons until light gives up the death note, forgetting it is strategic, and believes it's actually real. it's so fucking good. also devastating

Drive. by MissAmyShay: the bear fic. insane. carmy and richie reconciliation, nat and richie flashback to when mikey was first declared dead, nat richie bonding, nat giving birth, donna mentions. what else could i even ask for. it's amazing. i don't even need to read any other fics

telltale by unsungillumination: L haunts light after his death. it's literally ruining light's life. this is my favorite thing in the world i love a good fic about grief and about fucked up soulmates who are not soulmates in a traditional way. i recently finished death note after leaving it on standby for a decade and i'm thriving

This Is How I Disappear by TzviaAriella: kira gets found out. he gets sentenced to death row. he asks the task force to shoot him. it's literally the most haunting fic in the world and i'm so so so so obsessed with it i kinda wanna reread it but it's like devastating and most of all GOOD

they both die at the end by unsungillumination: when i say i love fics that make me feel at odds with my own mortality and how i am spending my life and also grief for the future and grief for things past and grief, in the actual sense of death, ohhh. oh my god. what kills me is that this fic is just so grounded as well. you know the ending is coming. you just hang onto the little moments hoping MAYBE it won't happen, but you know. i loved it so bad. also this is a death note fic again

Connect the Dots by GrayJay: SCOTT SUMMERS ASKS MATT MURDOCK OF DAREDEVIL FAME TO BE A TEACHER AT THE SCHOOL AND THEY BOND OVER HOW SIMILAR THEIR DISABILITIES ARE it's ltierally so godo it's insane i love my favorite characters talking so much :(

the thirty-second hour by unsungillumination: this fic is about light yagami not being able to lie for 4 hours in each day, but it happens at random times, as a consequence of regaining his memories of the death note. it's inspired by i found you in the fire by yosgay which is ALSO one of my favorite fics even if it's not from my current 2024 reads but it IS TO ME. anyway. point is a character like light being forced to tell the truth is amazing. the layers of performance and what truth even means being analyzed through light's own eyes... mmmwah..

Tough Love by UmbrellaMartialGod: haikyuu fic. suga/tsukki. i was like no one in this world understands my fucked up haikyuu dynamic ship in which tsukki has a life-ruining unrequited crush on suga that no one else knows about except yamaguchi EXCEPT THIS PERSON!!!!!!!! THIS PERSON WROTE IT!!!!!!! IMAGINE THAT. HAVING A FIC ABOUT A RAREPAIR THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEEDED. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. I GENUINELY DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT

anyway, thank you for asking. i love fanfic and i love talking about it. hope you enjoy either of these

[darkfictionjude]

My third time trying to send it, Oh My God, I apologise if you receive like... three asks. Me being dum-dum with smartphone. Apologise for my poor English, too. Hello, Jude!

I want to thank you for your fantastic WWC-if. I deeply enjoyed it, because it has a very interesting plot, very well written atmosphere/vibe, but your characters? Oh man, your characters are the most delicious part of your work (-s even). I find them so different, so unique, so deep and really well-written, because I feel them; sometimes hate them too, but for a good reason, that they make me go “ah shit I strongly disagree with you, but FINE”. Love them all, eat them all, too.

Moreover, I’ll be patiently waiting for your new works to be continued, really excited about them. I must admit, so far I’m captivated by Dante, because he’s such a monster (affectionate). I know, that he’s morally bad, does terrible things that contradict with our very normal and modern views, but you know what? It’s good! I love psychos (scientifically)! As a fellow creator I can see the appeal of that kind of romance — destructive and wild. I’ll go for Dante-romance just to witness his love burn and cause damage. I want to have options for Luce to hurt Dante back, make him mad, but, you know, in a very passionate way or something like that. When I see characters barking at each other and then make out, I feel happy, because it's interesting, even if one of them can kill you (whatever, I swear, I don't care, have my green light to make Luce suffer). I don’t expect (and don’t want to, to be honest) Dante suddenly to change ‚for the better‘ or set aside his views, background and other things, that make him, well, him, because of a magical power of LOVE. In fact, I hope I'll see this exact love bringing the worst in him, showing what he can (and probably will) do for Luce or to them. You know, distorted views of love and affection are the best yet rarest among the ifs. Authors are mostly scared to create a deranged character and show their love in an ugly way. However, few people and I surely crave it. I don't want to cry on your shoulder, but I'm really tired of 'toxic romance' to turn suddenly very sweet and nice, showing only some scenes of jealousy and possessiveness, and that's it, sadly. So... thank you for not making him another 'good bad guy', I guess (so far?)? Seriously, you're doing God's (Devil's, maybe) work here.

Long Story Short, thank you so much for your works, I wish you the best, a lot of luck and Inspiration. I like you as a person and as a dark writer! I will watch you making your progress from the shadows of the deepest lake on Earth. You have my support, Jude.

So many times I’ve gotten apologizes from people saying they don’t speak English as a first language and yet they’re so eloquent in their messages 💀

Yeah I’ve never been a fan of fiction that has the love interest do a 180 because they’re in love. So does that mean they’ll become the same person the minute the love interest leaves them? Then that’s not true change and it’s not real character development. It’s one thing for a person to show you how to view things differently but it’s not genuine if you’re doing it to please them. I don’t think I’ll ever do a fix-it romance

I do get why some creators are hesitant to create romances like these because you’ll likely be subject to backlash from people saying you’re promoting abusive relationships or what-have-you but depiction is not endorsement nor romanticization or justification. That idea seems lost on people sometimes. I won’t justify my characters bad actions as right I will simply explain why from their point of view they believe things they do to be ok and not because they want to fuck the MCs over (although sometimes that’s exactly what they want to do)

I love how my characters frustrate you! And thank you lake underground nonnie ☺️

[whiskeyswifty]

So Long London is THAT BITCH I love that song it’s quickly emerging as a fave from the first half. I love that you contrasted it with peace which also reminded me of “he built a fire just to keep me warm” in call it what you want and find the trajectory notable—that she seemingly accepted that help/fire given to her while he…did not and so she just kept burning herself further and further, like you said (ik u don’t care abt the men haha I’m more talking about the narrative she tells as a whole!)

I really like it a lot!! It’s one of my favorites overall easily. It’s so interesting sonically and that propulsive beat, as if she’s running away or finally moving forward after stagnation for so long! Love it.

Ooooo good point and that’s even more interesting that they build a fire to keep her warm, but she makes herself a fire to keep them warm… yeah oooof. I think I took the give and take in a So Long London as not that they rejected her help, but that her way of helping (as a non-professional in this arena) was being by their side as they went through it, or offering bandaids as each bout of sadness arises. Ultimately, they relied on those things in lieu of actually helping themselves. They had no interest in escaping that sadness long term and continued to succumb to what seems to be depression as depicted in the song, to the point where they were going to use her eternally as a source of happiness on the best days and let the depression run roughshod all over her and their relationship on the worst days. Hence why she says “you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.” Taylor seems to say that while she herself has bouts of sadness, even a bit more than the average person in her eyes, she doesn’t want to wallow in it or at least not anymore, and desires a more proactive life. She wants to get better and be more joyful in the world. She decided she wasn’t into being with someone who was only interested in wallowing in their depression and wanted her to join them down in the darkness. And I think the CIWYW line is even sadder if you take those as being about the same relationship, as it indicates that things were good once. Maybe it was just because they were equally sad at that time and comforting each other as they both wallowed and comforted each other, who knows.

And I love most that ultimately, the song is such an adult breakup song because it’s about how sometimes you just wish someone was different. No wrongdoing or betrayal, just two people who maybe fit together once but grew apart and resent each other for not being what they each wanted and then resenting that resentment in each other. Or one person grew and the other stayed in place, rather. Happens all the time! It’s sooo refreshing and real in that way and she’s not mad at them exactly, because as you grow in age and experience, you understand you cannot change people and you cannot expect it either, so she’s just mad it came to this. Mad that they didn’t grow together and now she has to leave so much behind, lose wayyyy more than them. She lost a life! That they’d built! When she says “I’m just mad as hell cuz I love this place” god it guts me so deeply because oh god, having to rip yourself away from everything you’ve grown to love because it’s for your own good, oh goddddd its agonizing. God what a song.

Also lmaoooooo you know me! I don’t care about anyone’s boyfriend tbh, not even hers. But I’m not fully delusional in that I don’t think they exist! I don’t like to speculate about them because I truly don’t give a shit. I also fully ignore the male pronouns not because I’m insinuating anything but just honestly because I can ✌️

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hey,,hey! I was wondering if you still do the matchmaking thing? If you do:

Fandom: percy jackson or the cruel prince.

Im pretty tall, I have a wolfcut but it's like...overgrown. I wear glasses and have an arched nose. A few dyed streaks of dull purple is present in my hair. I like being funny/humorous and making people laugh, however I'm quick to anger as well,sadly. I think I'm a loyal friend and like making self depracating jokes. Feelings are not really my thing, but I can comfort people by making them laugh. I usually wear baggy shirts and cargo pants, but I'm okay with an occasional frock or skirt. My favourite colors are blue, black, purple and white.

Hope this is enough I couldn't think of anything else. 😭😭

Just putting this here for reference 

Your Fandom Ship: Grover Underwood (PJO) and Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl (DCU)

Explanation: starting off with your physical appearance I think that he would be extremely attracted to you because I think that he just likes Wolf cuts and thinks that you’re dyed hair is super cool and kick ass. when you get angry easily, I feel like he’s two times faster to delude the anger and one of the only people that would be able to calm me down because he doesn’t really like conflict, but he will try to work through it if you’re mad at him for some reason and he will own up to it. he thinks you’re super cute and always laughs the hardest at your jokes and I feel like you guys are extremely loyal to each other and one of the best couples like no one could ever really imagine one or the other getting jealous or cheating or things like that because you guys just have a really healthy ideology. also, I feel like you guys would really balance each other out because of feelings aren’t your fit thing feelings are definitely Grovers thing and he could help you try and express the more and in return you could maybe help him try to not let everything that anyone says to him get to him so deeply. because we’re talking about P JO, it’s safe to assume that you have ADHD because you’re a Demigod, which is totally normal for him and I don’t think he would be phased by it at all because he’s used to dealing with campers with ADHD dyslexia, all sorts of things like that would help you sort through it and figure out what’s right for you. he’s also an extrovert and even though he’s shit at art I feel like he would absolutely support you and ask a ton of questions and if he did a portrait of him, I just think he would die like he wouldn’t even know what to do and he’d like try carving it into a tree or something. I don’t even know he just love if he did a portrait of him. He’d be so proud. I mean this is also canon that he likes being someone’s muse Because he meets this daughter of I don’t know. I forgot what it is, but it’s in the chalice of the gods where she’s really good at photography and he constantly wants to be in her photos so I feel like it would be the same thing for you. He’d always be asking. Hey, can you draw me? Hey can you write a poem about me you know things like that, he respect if you said no but he’d love it if you said yes. He’s also a very touchy guy and he’s definitely the person to go to if you’re looking for words of affirmation because he would be consistently complementing you throughout your relationship anyway I think you guys are cute together and I would ship this. 🩷🩷🩷

Explanation: starting off with appearances I think that she thinks you’re cute as hell and would make sure that you know that as well she wears glasses too, so she thinks that yours are adorable and she also thinks that hers don’t look as good on her as yours look on you and is a little bit jealous of that. I also think that she thinks your hair is pretty bad ass and loves the different streaks in it and just really loves your hair in general and it’s probably one of her favorite features of you. She’s also pretty quick to anger so I’d say that’s one of the only downsides of your guys relationship is that you guys would have to kind of work through your anger issues together because yeah girl also need some anger management skills but I feel like you guys could help each other with that through relation like you would get that she gets angry easily and she would get you getting angry easily. She appreciates your loyalty and I think that she would also kind of help you talk through your feelings. She hasn’t had a lot of loyalty in her life so I think that she would feel greatly honored that you stick by her side through thick and thin, no matter what, and by that she would forever owe you. She prefers more clean, casual academic types of outfits, but she respects your style. She knows comfort over fashion is a number one role. You guys would be perfect because she’s actually an introvert so I feel like you would help her warm up pretty easily and I think she would also really love your humor like I feel like she would laugh really hard and that’s kind of how you guys got along cause she was being a grumpy little introvert and then you befriended her crack some jokes and she was instantly like whoa. I love this person so much. They’re so cool. I feel like she would read and draw with you and then I don’t feel like she’s act at poetry, but she would support you and she’s great with vocabulary so she could at least help you add some advanced wording your poetry if you ever needed it. It would take her a while to get used to physical touch, but I’m pretty sure that she would be into it if you were and words of affirmation of course she is constantly complementing you and I feel like they’re genuine too. She wouldn’t complement you unless she thought you deserved it and she does think you deserve it. 💙💙💙

[xx0yeet-everything0xx]

OK SO :D

listen man. listen. jason and reyna have the potential for the most interesting dynamic in the entire rrverse and i stand by that ok. like imagine. two people who were best friends are suddenly torn apart and when they reunite through no fault of either of them one cares a lot more than the other now. losing jason was the worst thing reyna ever felt and then he came home and looked her dead in the eyes and treated her like a stranger. god i am so unwell about them anyway. im mad that this never gets explored in canon it has so much potential. the fucking tragedy of it all. they avoid each other now because one will inevitably end up saying something a little too familiar and its miserably awkward for just. everyone tbh. they cared so deeply for each other amd then it was just gone. she spent months searching for him overworked and unable to even grieve properly and he just didnt care anymore. its unclear how much memory he got back but its obviously not as clear as percy’s and thats so interestingg?? knowing you cared for this place, for this person, so much it was a part of you, and just. having no emotional attachment to it anymore. not knowing how to get back to that even if you want to. oughhhh. not knowing how to tell them the person they knew is dead or at least unrecognizable. if you take every moment and memory that makes up a person away and put newones in their place is it still the same person? she loved him more than anything. he doesnt know how to be the person she loved anymore. he doesnt know if he wants to. he avoids her, and she lets him, because really what is there to say? she still cares. he doesn’t. i dont even know how to articulate this okay just. they were best friends. and now everything has changed. and how do you cope with that. what do you do, when your best friend looks you in the eyes and treats you like a stranger? what do you do, looking a stranger in the eyes and knowing she was your best friend?

and nobody ever talks about their relationship??? like they either get ignored or treated like weird exes which is just so not what this is. anyway the implication that reyna had a crush on him was stupid thats called *amatonormativity* reyna is arocoded thank you goodnight. i am so utterly deranged about them <3

OMG ANON THANK YOU FOR THIS but literally ikr?? their entire relationship (not in a couple-y way) is just so complex and ends so tragically and it’s like. ughhhhh it literally drives me crazy to think about it and it’s so UNFAIR for both of them because reyna has to look at jason and see someone looking back with a strangers eyes and it’s like. hes there. but he’s NOT because he’s so different and then for jason he can see her but he can’t feel the emotional attachment that SHOULD be there he only knows that he once had it and instead it’s this empty feeling and. the worst part is that they never got to confront the situation with each other!! jason got back to new rome and when he left almost instantly they’d barely exchanged any words with each other so like. the most either can do is soo many presumptions and MAYBE time could’ve fixed it. maybe they could’ve one day talked it out; but god fucking damn it because they didn’t have time and the next time she got to properly see him he was in a coffin. it’s so tragic it really really HURTS and I can’t explain how it feels but u get it aishsjbsksmsksns

and no frrr reducing them to exes of any sort is just soo annoying because it’s completely taking away EVERYTHING abt their dynamic and just as you said all that’s very much linked to amatonormativity. WOW sorry for the rant here but yes im also very very deranged abt three <3

ty for this tho, anon! <333

[cannibalisticcorpse]

jayroy sfw all ten

ship ask game

Dating headcanon

they actually started their relationship by going out to eat together and going on solo missions (together) and just all around going on dates. they didn't notice until they bring a 3rd person and the 3rd person is like "hey why the fuck did you invite me on your date?" and theyre like "wth are u talking abt this is a bro thing. gtfo out of here" and they're both like "sheesh, can you believe that guy?" and independently theyre like "yeah. these have been dates."

Dinner headcanon

if roy cooks, jason tries to pretend he likes it even tho it sucks. if jason cooks roy [REDACTED]'s him that night. they do like takeout tho.

Arguments headcanon

OH BOY CAN THESE TWO ARGUE. they bicker over every. little. thing. death threats get pulled out at the drop of a hat. literally. "jason i swear to fucking god pick my hat up or im shoving this arrow-" very quickly things turn to full blown fist fights. but oh man the angry... kissing... is good. they also make up in super stupid romantic ways. its cute.

Playful/silly headcanon

one halloween lian dressed up as red hood... :] (she's also dressed up as batman before... only roy thought it was funny)

Night in headcanon

jason's drinking whiskey and roy's tending to plants, working on projects, and they're jumping between bouts of complete silence and excited chatter and solemnly sharing thoughts. just anything to be together and not think about the past. laying around together, watching TV in the dark. sitting so close you'd call it cuddling if they didn't look so... y'know

Night out headcanon

going on patrol. either as a team or roy decides to go out and hm... what's this? he feels like someones just behind his shoulder. weird. or maybe jason decides he's going to do something really fucking dangerous and for some reason he knows it's okay that his grapple hook didn't catch. or maybe they're taking a walk to the corner store down the street and carrying as many boxes of donuts and hotdogs as they can. laughing and trying to trip each other up as they make their way back home.

Kissing headcanon

first kiss for jason: when he was 14 and big brother dick's friend saw this kid got a skinned knee and kissed it so he'd stop crying

first kiss for roy: when their airship's battery died mid-flight and and they plummeted to the ground. jason threw roy to safety and while the smoke was still clearing roy dragged jason out of the wreck, and... well it was impossible to not find his glassy eyes the most beautiful thing in the entire world, or the way he cupped roy's face and chuckled

roy likes kisses more than jason, but jason still likes kisses. roy kisses everywhere. jason's mouth, his neck, his shoulders, his legs. etc. jason kisses roy's mouth whenever he wants- usually deeply- but in private he's more affectionate.

Sleeping headcanon

jason little spoon, roy big spoon. roy snores sometimes. jason is a very light sleeper. roy has insomnia/depression so some nights he just holds jason for 6 hours, and some nights he clutches jason tight for 10. typically roy falls asleep first though.

How friends/family of the couple react

dick is sooooo mad. what the hell do you mean roy likes jason. what the hell do you mean they're friends. what the hell do you mean-

bruce. isnt. happy. but hey, it's none of his business and it's not like he can do anything about it.

dinah thinks roy can do muuuch better, but hey that 20-something is pretty hot, so high-five i guess

ollie is much the same as bruce, but is vocally supportive. he loves a dude who has strong morals and stands up for them- even if... they are... y'know.

mia was so sure that roy and this asshole werent gonna last but then they did and now she had to get used to it. c'mon roy.

lian loves it. omg TWO DADS? fuck yes.

kyle wishes they'd fight and argue with him more, but hey.

Heartbreak headcanon

they're the type to go on a last minute solo mission and leave a note like "leaving" so the other knows they werent kidnapped, but the other finds it and just breaks down like "no... you asshole, you could have at least broken up with me to my fucking face."

they break up every tuesday and get back together every thursday. and sometimes on weekends too.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Favorite Kiss Tag Game

Tagged by @yannig, thank you! 😘

Rules: create a poll with five of your all time favorite onscreen kisses, setting any standard for qualification you choose. Then tag more friends to join in!

This is both a delightful game and a very difficult one. Dead fish kisses are largely a thing of the past, and our screens are filled with lovely smooches these days.

For me, my favorite kisses are not only about being aesthetically pleasing or emotionally powerful, but also about conveying something meaningful, either about the characters or the story. Something that words would never be able to express in the same way.

Yok and Dan (Not Me) - "Words alone are not enough"

I've made no secret that Yok has my heart forever, and I love how this kiss is confirmation of their mutual feelings, and a promise, while also being a reminder that with Yok, you are going to get spice with your sweet. It's character moments like this that set up the way he will forgive Dan for his betrayal but also give him a solid punch to the face. (And let's face it, there was definitely a bit of punishment later on at home, along with the loving).

Mizuki & Yoh (My Personal Weatherman) - "Without you...I can't breathe"

Japan has such a knack for conveying things without words. It's not uncommon for characters in Japanese BLs to be incapable of verbally expressing their wants and needs for large amounts of a story, but that doesn't mean we don't learn huge amounts of vital information. This series conveys so much via intimate moments, but this kiss in particular is when we fully see what an unreliable narrator Yoh has been, and how deeply he misunderstands the depth of Mizuki's love and need for him.

Phayu & Rain (Love in the Air) - "I must reward this cunning boy"

LITA is chockablock full of good kisses, but I really like this one. The beginning of this episode does a lot around setting up the D/s dynamics of their relationship, and the kiss is a part of that. Rain gets punished for making Phayu worry, and Phayu indulges his slight sadistic streak by pretending he's about to peace out - but then the kiss that follows almost feels like a benediction for their new relationship. Phayu finally lets his absolute adoration for Rain come out, revels in the experience of being intimate with his person, and Rain matches him beat for beat, showing why they work as a pair.

Pluem & Kevin (Ghost Host Ghost House) - "I can wait for it"

The lead up to this kiss is one of my favorite moments in all of BL, where Kevin is 100% aware of the effect he is having on Pluem, and Pluem is attempting to be god's strongest soldier - and utterly failing. But again, what makes it so good is what it tells us about the characters. Kevin is teasing Pluem, Pluem starts to tease him back, in the traditional seme way, and when that makes Kevin nervous, Pluem makes it clear that he is not an old school boy. He's soft and sweet and absolutely willing to put Kevin's comfort first, which is, of course, why Kevin immediately responds. Who could resist?

Li Cheng & Mu Ren (History 4: Close to You) - "I didn't forget..."

Li Cheng and Mu Ren have yet to be dethroned as my favorite friends to lovers couple. The show does such a good job setting up their deep love and devotion to each other on the friend side, that when it finally gets to a point where their romantic feelings are mutual, you need something special to show that a switch has finally been flipped. The tone of this scene, with a little help of the blinding light of love, proves that we have crossed a threshold, and it is absolutely lovely on the other side.

I'm not sure where all this has made the rounds yet, but no pressure tags for @slayerkitty @sunshinexiaobao (your name change threw me for a moment lol) @infinitelyprecious @lilithfatale @dramalets and anyone else who wants to play!

[sculptural-renaissance]

SGU Week Day 4 (Yes, 4!!): Favorite Ship

This is my new OTP. Idk exactly what it is, but buddy, I will take my serotonin from wherever I can get it these days.

Just kidding, I know exactly why I enjoy this. Most of it is that I just really, really like Amanda (don't hate me; despite what my memes may lead you to believe, I am not a Rush Enjoyer, because I know he would make me cry every day if I had to interact with him lmao), but OH MY GOD am I a sucker for The Grumpy One Is Soft for the Sunshine One. I love seeing them feel so safe and comfortable together. I love the ease of their interactions. I don't think anyone cares about spoilers at this point, but good Lord, she almost killed him and he wasn't even mad 😂

I NEVER enjoy canon ships because they feel like forced hetero nonsense. Another reason I enjoy this pairing so much is that to me, a demisexual, it feels very much like a demisexual love story. Think about it. Falling for your best friend, pining for the same guy for years... that's not unique to us, but it's definitely part of the demisexual experience (I'm not a piner, but most demis I meet seem to be). Im aware that they were originally supposed to sleep together in Sabotage, but, again as a demi, I'm glad they ended up taking a different route. I don't enjoy seeing characters who barely know each other hooking up, not because I'm prudish, but because I have no investment in the characters. This... We had to work for this. 🥰

In searching for other fan content, I've discovered that Rush and Amanda aren't a well-liked pairing (go figure, I like a canon ship and it's one no one likes lmaooooooo). I've found that I see this pairing quite differently from its critics; to me, it felt very female-focused. Yes, Amanda clearly only exists to be The Main Guy's love interest, but I found that, apart from the fridging, the ship was very much focused on her desires. She was not a thing to be pursued. She had agency and took initiative. She felt like a whole person to me, not just a pretty doll.

I also enjoyed the hell out of the awkwardness. I don't get secondhand embarrassment. I get the opposite of that. I LIVE for cringe. fr what even was this scene???

"So, you wanna make out or something?"

"Yes, obviously, I fist bumped you. That's pretty much 1st base."

God what a fucking dork

"No, 3rd base is not when a man rolls up his sleeve so you can see his forearms."

I drew them~ They're gonna hold hands bang >:] As you can see from the date, I drew this last year, very shortly after watching Seizure for the first time (I colored it yesterday, though, for this). I liked this pairing right away, and honestly, I was hoping Rush would pay Amanda a visit on earth via the stones after Sabotage. I'm not exactly thrilled that the writers chose to go for two double-fridgings, but the computer ghost thing creates a lot of possibilities for fanfic. I'd also like to have seen them interacting on earth before the Icarus mission.

As a final thought, I also love seeing someone who has been so deeply hurt learning to love again. I'm so disappointed SGU didn't get more seasons, because this would have been interesting to explore further with Rush and Amanda as a proper couple once she got off her bullshit and accepted that he did love her oh my God Mandy he killed that guy for you don't stand there and try to tell him he doesn't love you godddddddddddddd

Anyway, here are some of my favorite meme comics I've made. ^^

They were close friends for years. You cannot convince me that she didn't know exactly what he was like, nor can you convince me that she doesn't love it. 😉

"I'm not codependent! I'm obsessed with you a normal amount!"

In my experience, the key to a successful relationship is to find your person, and then you just annoy the shit out of each other for the rest of your lives (consensually, of course).

I also fully believe that there is no way on God's green earth that Rush would ever willingly watch a Syfy Channel original movie.

He does like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid... Through shitposting with friends, it has become "canon" that Bonanza is one of like, 3 TV shows Rush actually watches. The other two are Nova and House. Amanda, who watched a lot of classic sitcoms with her grandparents as a child with no social life, is unfortunately not a fan of westerns.

That's okay. He can fix her. 🤎

I have an ongoing series (up to 5 parts now) where Rush Definitely Understands the Trolley Problem. This is the first one.

I should really post those here.

She knows his secret >:]

Jim-jams

Also this takes place in the future so they're married now shut up let me have this they're cute

God what a lightweight

That's okay nothing's gonna stop her from getting white girl wasted on Brody's moonshine #YOLO

This was inspired by a fun exchange I had with a friend. It's "canon" in my comics and in progress fic that Amanda watched Wormhole X-treme to prepare for working at the SGC (she is so normal), and read whatever mission reports she had clearance for when she wasn't doing Mega Serious Spaceship Work.

If Rush can bully her into watching cowboy shows, she can bully him right back into watching space shows. This will backfire spectacularly. 😂