#so cracktastic

[sofiadragon]

Time to watch BBC Merlin again. Break out the DVDs!

[crookedfandomquill]

I just remembered that the wonderful, unhinged drama Hotel King exists ( @dangermousie I’m holding you responsible). Should I do a rewatch with commentary…?

[aetherbound]

Last night I had a dream where Papa Emeritus IV owned the Little Caesars I worked at. What i remember is spotty, but I do vividly remember him using his thurible every morning to cleanse the place while we sang Con Clavi Con Dio before working.

One day he walked up to me and said “Congratulations, you’ve been promoted!” I was shocked and asked what i was promoted to. Papa said “To be my husband!” All of the Ghouls came out to celebrate while Papa kneeled and slipped a ring on my finger, singing Circe.

Words cannot describe my disappointment when I woke up and could barely remember the dream😭😭

[minisugakoobies]

WHY HAVE WE NOT DISCUSSED WILLY WONKA TAE!?

HE CALLS JIMIN HIS OOMPA LOOMPA

HOBI IS SLUGWORTH

JUNGKOOK AS CHARLIE

NAMJOON AS HIS CHAPERONE

YOONGI AND JIN AS THE UNCLES THAT STAY IN BED

... I ADDED THIS NEW LIQUOR FROM VICIOUS VANTE INTO THE EGGNOG THIS TIME!

YOONJIN AS THE UNCLES WHO STAY IN BED 🤣

Luce please pass some of that eggnog, you've clearly got the good stuff in there (vicious vante, LOL)

Have I ever shared my eggnog recipe, btw? It's just a scoop of eggnog ice cream in a tumbler of whisky. 💕

[stardust-sunset]

for my art should i do the cat version of what was i made for, nyan cat, or the cat version of chandelier

[siixkiing]

Me: [yeeting all the crackships at Lee]

[gargoyleandgremlinpress]

There's No Such Thing in the World (As An Undo Button) by Zulu

Before there was omegaverse, there was mpreg, a trope where a male character finds themselves pregnant through whatever means, often with some hand-wavey fanfic magic. This chonky little quarto fic is rarepair mpreg crackfic for the early 2000's medical drama House MD, with the pairing of House/Foreman.

Here we have the copy I made @zulufic, and the one I made for myself, fraternal copies due to limited materials in the same pattern. (I did not think I'd ever find a use for the bits of baby quilt patterned fabric in the fabric scraps I got from a coworker a few years ago, but lo and behold...)

So, this started out as a Christmas present for @zulufic. Come time for the exchange of gifts, I presented her with... a textblock! I had the pages printed and sewn, but not cased in. Eventually, it gained a hardcover case and became a finished book, but circumstances lined up just right such that I would be seeing her in August and able to put the book in her hands right within a few days of Fanfic Writers' Appreciation Day, and participate in @renegadeguild's annual initiative to gift an author with their book for the day.

The lettering on the case is acrylic paint, applied with a Cricut-cut stencil. Hand-sewn endbands, decorated edges just for fun. One book has gelli-plate printed endpapers from my wife's art stash, the other has some Japanese paper of unknown provenance out of my paper stash.

This is the fic that sat on my to-bind list labelled "I like them all, she says unhelpfully," due to a stealth conversation with Zulu's wife to attempt to find her favourite fic. (The answer: whatever fic she's currently working on.) So I picked one I remember fondly from when it was first posted. Things that never made it into the author's notes and only obliquely into the AO3 tags: Zulu says this is actually an AU of the move Knocked Up.

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, and I'm glad I decided to do it as a half-sized quarto. A cute little chonk of a book for a cute (if delightfully cracktastic story! Happy Fanfic Writers' Appreciation Day, Zulu!

[fairydust-stuff]

I know we all agree on Rose bride Touga but has anyone thought about Rose Bride Saionji in the most cracktastic way?

Imagine if after Anthy leaves Akio just makes Saionji his rosebride. Manipulating him with its either you or Touga. Thinking he'll be easy control a silly little clown.

Saionji is pissed off and just snaps and just starts doing shit that annoys Akio. Because he gets pushed past his breaking point. First its dumb shit like defacing Akio's car with insulting graffiti about him. replacing the chick and egg recording with Akio is a car fucker that plays over and over. He works with the shadow girls to drive him crazy.

He insults Akio in bed, just being vicious and hurt and letting lose like a wounded animal. Akio just takes it in stride little fits of the powerless Anthy did it too.

Then Saionji starts prodding at the new duelists. like he did Touga. Are you sure that's what you want? Is it really? The ones that don't follow the logic. Saionji just annoys into quitting. He's a rat bastard who no one likes. So he just taps into that side of himself and lets lose. And no slaps or punches or swords of hate will shut him up. Because he's in full fury mode!

Within the first week or two everyone quits Touga wins by default. And, Akio kinda just gives up by that point.

Touga doesn't let Saionji out of his coffin so much as Saionji comes storming out of it. The minute he gets the door open. Akio gets punched in the face on the way out. Touga and Saionji leave Ohtori together.

Anthy hears about the whole thing and laughs her ass off!

[13eyond13]

hello — do you have any death note fic recs that occur in the canon universe? they don’t necessarily need to be canon compliant, and i’d specifically prefer gen or lawlight. thank you so much :) your blog’s really fun to scroll through whilst putting off doing assignments

Aw, thank you anon! I quite like scrolling through my own blog too lol

And you got it, pal. I'd say it's about time I dust off my rusty fic recommending skills (I haven't been reading fanfiction regularly since probably about 2018, so these recs are not going to be the newest of the new, jsyk)...

Also, I'm ASSUMING this is the same anon who asked recently for fics a bit similar to

(X) Nights - youremyqueen [E, 400k+ words] L imprisons Light and then Light imprisons L and then L imprisons Light again. Sometimes they have sex, too.

? If not please forgive me, because I also used that as a guide when picking out these recs.

Also most of these recs are explicit and many of them are dark, so please check the tags and content warnings on the fics before reading them, just in case there's anything listed there that might be a dealbreaker for you! Should go without saying, but it's entirely on YOU if you end up reading something you're not comfortable with linked here, dear reader(s)...

--

CANON UNIVERSE + LAWLIGHT FIC RECS

SOME YOTSUBA ARC PWP ONE-SHOTS:

(X) Slap Fight - Shipaholic [E, 2k words] L makes a request. It gets out of hand. -(the girls are fiiiiighting...) (X) Love is an Open Door in My Ass - Shipaholic [E, 4k words] Matsuda gets very excited about an email forward. The task force despairs. -(technically meant to be taking place in the dramaverse, but you can easily imagine it as the anime/manga characters too. Rough sex but done with a lighter/softer tone) (X) Losing - Twyd [E, 2k words] L knows what losing feels like. -(depression!L is having a bit of a bad time... this writer makes L so quiet and sad and cute, and even though that's not often my cup of tea I still love everything they write) (X) Tresemme - Twyd [M, 2k words] L x Light slash. Set when they are handcuffed. Light just wishes L would dry his hair properly. He takes matters into his own hands. -(understated bittersweet fluff-smut) (X) Brilliant Bodies Disintegrate - Tartpants [E, 5k words] "L gives Light flesh made fact. L is the wayward flock for him to tend -- he’s Lucifer, the dawn-bringer, delivering light back to Light. Put bluntly, L’s the one who keeps shit interesting." -(L keeps being a big ho and making Light jealous on purpose to goad him into some rough sex-having, basically? Good if you liked that aspect of Nights...) (X)Trash Note - Tartpants [E, 3k words] "The character whose name is written in this note shall obey the writer’s every trash whim, no matter how out-of-character, preposterous, unsavory, carnal, humiliating, or cracktastic." -(if you ever want some goofy handcuffs smut that isn't taking itself too seriously at some point...)

SOME LONGER CANON UNIVERSE + LAWLIGHT FICS:

(X) Coexistence is Boredom - Sakurazukamori6 [M, 232k words] A new deathnote. A new plan for world sanctity. And an entirely misled Catholic clergy. Raito and L take their respective places on the sides of their own justice. A final battle waged in the Garden of Eden. -(This was my very fave Lawlight fic back in the 2000s, and a lot of it still holds up for me now and has a very special place in my heart even though it never actually got finished. I just love how L and Light and all the other characters are written in it, and appreciate that it can be angsty and suspenseful while still being funny and kinda lighter in tone for a canon universe Lawlight fic - it frequently makes me lol when I'm reading it. From what I remember it was the first fic that convinced me they'd potentially make a good couple beyond just unresolved sexual tension, too) (X) The Lies of Light Yagami - Kildeer [E, 38k words] “You’re pretty good Light, but I don’t see how you could hurt someone more with love than with death.” It was Light’s turn to smile as he leaned back in his chair. “Well then Ryuk, prepare yourself for a good show.” -(a bunch of missing scenes from the canon storyline, mostly smut. Very angsty and well done) (X) A Tithe to Hell - Aja [E, 34k words] Light has thirteen days to find out how it will feel--not just to kill, but to destroy. -(considered a fandom classic. I remember finding it intense and well-written, and that it also has a few interesting twists and turns) (X) Between the Black and White - Serria [M, 103k words] When L captures Light, he finds himself unwilling to relinquish his kindred spirit to the police, and instead has other plans to make Kira atone for his crimes. But the saga of Shinigami, genius intellect and old memories - BB - has only just begun. -(I haven't read it since it was new, and I don't think it ever got finished, but I remember this one being my fave of Serria's fics back in the day when I was a very fussy reader and only wanted to read fics set in the canon universe. Serria wrote a lot of great early Lawlight fics, and was my first friend in the fandom back in 2008 as well!) (X) A Cure for Love - halfpromise [M, 230k words] Light and L fall in love during the Yotsuba arc and Light's master plan is derailed when an assassin steals the Death Note. The threat of Kira is dwarfed when Kira's powers seem to have fallen into the hands of a terrorist organization known as Astraea and Light and L are united to find the culprit, but for how long... -(you've heard of the legendary Hinterland Doctrine fic series, now get ready for what I believe is halfpromise's very first fic? I don't think I actually read this whole thing so I don't know if it's finished, but I remember finding it fun to read her take on the canon characters too, and that what I did read had a pretty interesting plot and at times was quite funny as well)

[olderthannetfic]

In the past week I’ve accidentally stumbled into a popular fandom (Bridgerton). So excited for all the exceedingly stupid takes about the ball and ballgowns show. Will report back.

--

Ahaha.

Well, I've been disappointed by the costuming wank. All the historical costume people seem charmed by Bridgerton's cracktastic and intentionally ahistorical choices.

[kutputli]

ok i just had the most cracktastic crossover thought where Armand (from IWTV) bumps into Abdullah (from WALP) and they both weep together about how they just want to be able to use the word boyfriend, is it so bad to want commitment and love and how are you supposed to fuck without feelings anyway

meanwhile Saira (from WALP) and Louis (from IWTV) are busy arguing about art and politics and being mutually embarassed by their clingy weepy exes.

[maireyart]

Obito + community service

Art request #11. Thank you for this request, anon! Post-Kaguya (or just post-war) Obito is my favorite Obito, and naturally this art has spiralled out of control 🤪 Obito: Rebuilding the World.

Building Buildings AU headcanons: * Obito lives, his chakra & Sharingan are blocked. * After some time they (somehow) unblock the Mokuton for construction purposes (the Juubi's bijuudama destroyed some towns, Mokuton users needed), and he can shape his chakra only the way it is needed for this ability. If he tries anything else, it just doesn't work. * Obito has no idea how to use Mokuton for construction & architecture, so Yamato teaches him. * Since he can't use chakra even for simple things like sticking to surfaces or climbing walls, he sometimes needs safety gear that he hates, but everybody else finds it amusing :D * The goggles are very useful -- there's a lot of dust from the debris. * Gradually Obito starts enjoying this a lot and is glad he can do something like this. Aaaand some amazing cracktastic headcanons from @cool-thymus 🧡 * Yamato is like: "I'm NOT going to fraternize with a war criminal, not even if he is your former teammate, senpai." And then in a couple of days: "Here, Obito, I made you some soup! You need your strength, you're doing great!" * Yams is a bit of a control freak, and everything should be by the book. And then there's Obito 😆 Yams is carefully showing Obito how to put together a neat building, while Obito creates something similar yet super weird/morbid/questionable. Y: Obito, what is this? O: What? I followed your instructions. You told me to follow my instinct. Y: This is not.. I meant your Mokuton abilities, chakra-wise! O: ... I did what I did. * So as a "punishment" Obito gets to live in his weird building for a few days under the leaking roof (he ignored some construction rules for the sake of the morbid beauty of said roof). * And when Yams comes back to check on him, he finds Obito sitting on the floor, totally unphased, the roof is leaking, water streaming right above Obito, BUT he had mokutoned a cute little umbrella over his head sprouting from his neck/shoulders. And again he deadpans, "I did what I did." Thanks @cool-thymus, I think I died laughing 🤣

Any other headcanons? 🤣

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 36 – MONSTERFUCKING

Packing Heat by Sineala

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 4,100 Tags: Phoenix Force, Established Relationship, Semi-Public Sex

Summary: Steve's usually a private kind of guy, and in Tony's experience Steve has never before been down to raw Tony on the briefing-room table. But Steve isn't one hundred percent Steve right now. It's not a dealbreaker.

Reasons why I love it: Okay, this fic? Hot as hell, no pun intended. I love the little tidbit in the notes about how this fic came about, because that's exactly why I love the Stony discord servers. Cracktastic dreams made a reality. Anyway, this fic is fantastic, and if you haven't read it yet, you definitely should!

Octopus on Roller Skates by ohmyloki

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 5,661 Tags: Consentacles, OctoTony, Getting Together

Summary: It’s not like he lives his entire life with his bottom half a writhing mass of tentacles instead of legs, but about every ten days he has to spend at least eight hours soaking in a tub of water.

Reasons why I love it: The title makes me smile every time I see it. I love how excited Steve is to experiment with Tony's tentacles, and Tony finally having someone who knows his secret is really lovely. This fic is wonderful, and you should definitely read it!

Legs Over Feelers In Love by ozuma

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 14,844 Tags: Non-Con Elements, Sex Pollen, Mutual Pining

Summary: Turns out there's few things more awkward than watching your teammate get intimate with a giant alien bug. It's a lesson that Tony could have done without ever learning. It also turns out that Tony is into that sort of thing. At least, he is when it comes to Steve. Actually, it might be that he's just into Steve. And it might be that Steve's into Tony. If only the two could talk to each other like adults. Meanwhile, Natasha and Bruce are tired of watching their teammates dance around each other and decide to take matters into their own hands.

Reasons why I love it: The first time I saw the art that this is based on, I remember I desperately wanted to read fic for it. So you can imagine my joy when I found out that this exists. The smut is perfect, the characterization is incredible, and since I love ozuma's writing style, this is basically tailor-made for me to enjoy. But I bet you'll love it just as much as I do!

I'ma Bite Your Feelings Out by blue_jack

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 4,174 Tags: Cursed Wolf Tony, Knotting, Rough Sex

Summary: “I’m sorry, but we have to do what?” Steve asked, sure he’d misunderstood. “I said that someone needs to have sex with Tony,” Dr. Strange told him, sounding annoyed that he had to repeat himself, as if Tony weren’t currently a wolf, standing six feet tall at the shoulder. A little bit of clarification wasn’t too much to ask for.

Reasons why I love it: I really love how wolf Tony behaves here – there is so much expression and emotion in the way blue_jack describes him. And the actual smut is amazing. I adore this fic, and if you like werewolf sex, I bet you will too!

Gold Sunlight and Deep Water by justanotherStonyfan

Pairing: Steve/Bucky Rating: E Words: 7,520 Tags: Merman Steve, Interspecies Sex, Overstimulation

Summary: Steve's a merman, Bucky's a human, and they have mer-sex on a private beach, and do not get spied on, interrupted or discovered.

Reasons why I love it: This is one of my favorite mer-fics of all time. Steve's anatomy and language is fascinating, and I especially love the bit about merpeople hair and how Bucky does everything he can to adapt his own hair to match. It's wonderful, the smut is hot as hell, and I just love this a lot okay? Go and read it!

[mixelation]

i'm not sure what i want to do with deidara in reborn au but the actual most cracktastic thing would be.....

the official databooks word on deidara is that he has "explosion release," which we can presume is a bloodline limit. i forget if there are other characters with this ability, but iwa DOES have a demolitions division. so i was debating handwaving like "deidara's bloodline limit is a him-only thing, so since in this au he never joined iwa, iwa doesn't recognize him as an earth country citizen originally" buuuut part of his assigned origin story for this au is that iwa was specifically paying his (civilian farmer) family to churn out babies in hopes of making a new bloodline limit.

in other words idk how to make it NOT so it looks like konoha just parades a genin they blatantly stole from iwa into the iwa chunin exam. and i was like. how can i push this to its most insane conclusion. and what i have come up with is

a rumor starts in iwa that deidara is minato's bastard child, which he conceived on purpose to steal iwa's bloodlines. obviously

kushina, loudly in public, committing to the bit without a second thought for consequences: How could Minato do this to me?!

deidara: kushina-sensei--

kushina: it's okay. i will raise you as my own. it's not your fault your father is a dirty cheating bastard. u_u

deidara: KUSHINA-SENSEI---

tori: wow. respect, sensei

[eirenical]

For the "Character-centric stories in 1k or less" prompt:

Di Feisheng and "what would happen to a houseplant in his care" (but obviously caring for any herb or vegetable Li Lianhua has planted is fair game!)

:D Thanks!

@bbcphile you have NO idea what you started this afternoon. XD I am so glad you shared that cracktastic plot bunny with me, because it rooted itself in my brain and wouldn't let go, so I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE RESULT. XD

This clocked in at 2,365 words when all was said and done, so I just chucked it directly onto AO3.

...also because I'm seriously considering coming back and playing with this 'verse some more. XD

Enjoy? ^_^

From the Mud of Adversity (2365 words) by eirenical Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 莲花楼 | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Di Feisheng/Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi, Di Feisheng & Wuyan Characters: Di Feisheng, Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi, Wuyan (Mysterious Lotus Casebook), Monk Wuliao Additional Tags: brief appearance by - Freeform, Fang Duobing - Freeform, Crack Treated Seriously, ...mostly, Transformation, Lotus flowers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Donghai Battle

Summary:

A single lotus flower lay in the sand, its red-tipped white petals half-buried, its broad green leaves wilted and mangled, its stem twisted upon itself and nearly broken. The pull of gravity on his body now that he had stopped was too much, and Di Feisheng folded slowly to his knees beside the ruined lotus. His thoughts drifted as he laid back down beside it, gently freeing its petals from the sand as he fought to keep himself awake. What a pair we must make, little lotus. Each broken and bleeding and far from where we belong… It was certainly his imagination, a hallucination brought on by encroaching fever or the sun beginning to beat down from overhead, but he'd have given almost anything if the grumpy voice he thought he heard in response had been real. ~Speak for yourself, Di-mengzhu. I'll be on my feet again before you know it.

[an-aura-about-you]

wait. why are you sexy gengar

Oh, so this is some kinda story! And I guess now y'all are gonna hear it.

The truth is I've been holding out on most of you because back on my birthday @zerozeroren gifted me with an incredible piece of art that is going to require a bit of explanation.

So here we go.

Being a lover of So Bad It's Good Media and a watcher of Booktube videos, it was inevitable that I would hear about the supposedly spicy, supposedly deadly fantasy trainwreck that is Lightlark by Alex Aster. For anyone who might not have seen the liveblogging I did of that, I thoroughly enjoyed the book for a bunch of reasons Aster never intended and had to pause listening to the audiobook several times because I had to stop and laugh at the ridiculously poorly thought out shit going on. For anyone who's the sort to indulge in So Bad It's Good media, it gets my recommendation. (The sequel Nightbane does not; that was both utterly stupid AND horrifying in its unintentional implications. But I digress.)

Anyway, this piece of art came about from talking to Ren about some of the characters, particularly our main character Isla Crown and her love interest Oro.

There's been a lot of confusion on how to say Isla's given name. Before I listened to the audiobook, I would have assumed it would have had a pronunciation similar to island with a silent s. But no, according to the audiobook narration, her name is pronounced Ice-la. Upon hearing this, Ren declared that a "Pokemon-ass sounding name." And that's when I realized that Isla is implied to be humanoid but it's never actually specified. The people of Lightlark are divided into six different types of beings, and Isla is a Wildling. But the only actual descriptions we get of her are that she's got brown hair and she looks like her mother. So in defiance of the obvious setup to picture her looking like an ice-type Pokemon, I chose to picture her looking like my favorite purple ghosty boy Gengar.

But that's only the part of the picture I've been using for my icon. I haven't shown most of you the other part of the picture that has Oro. Oro is a Sunling. (I swear these names are killing me.) The big conflict of Lightlark is that all of these fantasy races have been cursed and they're trying to complete a ritual according to a prophecy in order to undo them. Sunlings in particular are cursed by being harmed by the sun, the very thing that would normally give them power. Oro is also something called an Origin, meaning he has powers from the other fantasy races, though the primary one we see him use besides his own power is the Skyling ability to fly. Between being harmed by sunlight, the implied nocturnal existence that comes with that, and his ability to fly, Ren and I decided he was basically a vampire. And I was like, "We need to pick a dorky vampire to represent him. I know! He should look like Alucard! Not sexy new Castlevania animation Alucard but like what Alucard looks like in Captain N: The Game Master!" (For the record, they are technically the same character. Alucard in Captain N is the same Alucard from the Castlevania series. But the character designs in Captain N: The Game Master are...questionable.)

And that led to this:

Take it in. It is a thing of cracktastic beauty. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present. What else can I say but Ren has done it again.