#so bury me in the memories of my friends and family‚ i just need to know that they were proud of me

[brionysea]

kind of mike wheeler coded

[lizzobetumblin]

Melissa hated her feelings. 

She buried them in a chest in the 5th grade (along with her ability to express them). Other peoples' feelings on the other hand was her forte. She could process, decipher and regurgitate other peoples emotions effortlessly. This gift could’ve taken her through college, all the way to a degree in psychology. Distinguished Dr. Jefferson with a PhD and a cozy office and impressive roster of high-profile, weallthy clients was a shiny idea. Fate would have a different hand for Melissa her talents were exhausted on mediating family fights, friend group drama, and charming her way out of confronting her own feelings. 

“Feelings.” Even saying it out loud to herself seemed silly. Something reserved for ‘cry babies’ and water signs. Typical Sunday nights started tame, reading or writing fan-fiction and drinking cranapple juice. And then like clock work her father would yell her name, 

‘MELISSA!!!’ Emotionless, she’d get up dust off her Winnie the Pooh shorts and make her way downstairs. On the long walk down the hall to the stairs leading to the living room brawl, she’d go through her check list: 

1.) Don’t cry.   

 2.) Stay neutral; Deescalate

3.)Don’t take anything personal. This isn’t about you

She padded down the carpeted stairs in her old soft socks to see her mother tightlipped and tear streaked thinking, 

‘she broke rule number 1’. Her father, Michael was proud and angry, his big belly filled with self righteousness. She knew he would be unyielding in his resolve and at this point her only option was to deescalate.

 ‘Rule number 2’. Then her sister the water sign and calamity for the evening sat on the floor nearly fetal, face red and raw with emotion. 

‘Its not your fault’ Melissa wanted to say ‘You just didn’t follow the rules… you’re loved.’ But she couldn’t say that because she’d be breaking rule number 3. It wasn’t about how Melissa felt. Even though she felt like screaming,

“VANESSA, YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. DAD—YOU JUST HAVE PENT UP ANGER BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN THE HOOD OF DETROIT AS A BLACK MAN IN THE 60s AND 70s. YOU NEED A HEALTHY OUTLET LIKE.. I DONT KNOW… THERAPY?!?!?! THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL OF OUR TIME. I LITERALLY JUST WROTE THE BEST SAILOR SATURN x CHIBI USA FANFICTION EVER AND THIS IS KILLING MY VIBE!”

Instead, she decide to hear every one out. She decided to help. To calm her dragon of a father down. To be a translator for her emotional sister. To not take it personal. To stay neutral. To not cry. 

9 years later, at her fathers funeral she still never broke the rules. She played her flute and spoke at his memorial. She was present for her mother because it wasn’t about her. When other peoples' emotions bubbled up she stayed neutral. She sat through both services and she did not cry. It wasn’t until she excused herself to make a phone call outside did she collapse onto the stairs of the funeral home and weep alone in the cold Detroit snow. 

It’s okay to break the rules sometimes, she reminded herself. As long as no one else sees it.

Traumas began to compact on Melissa, as they do. Humans tend to collect traumas like pebbles on a long hike. We toss them into our backpacks and keep moving forward. Some hikers would falter, but Melissa was built for this. She’d carried the stones of her family’s traumas uphill for years. She was strong. 

When men began to befriend and reject her, saying ‘you’re too good for me’ but not too good to make them feel good. She carried that. 

When childhood friends began to cut off the strings of her heart, saying ‘We can’t be friends anymore’. She carried that.

When her family separated like dandelion seeds, it seemed like they’d never be together again. Melissa slept on so many couches, floors and car seats sometimes she didn’t know if she’d see them again. 

She carried that. 

Dying was never an option though sometimes she didn’t mind the thought of it. Peace and warmth were two things she’d desperately yearned and hadn’t felt fully since the womb. Then one night in the pitch black of the hot, sweaty, roach-infested studio in southeast Houston she slept in she wondered:

‘Why can’t I break the rules?’ She’d seen everyone else in her life break them like popsicle sticks. And she didn’t just want to break the rules, she wanted to break them boldly and loudly and annoyingly and honestly and sloppily like every one else gets to do. It was in that moment, tucked in a thin jacket inside of an 8-foot high instrument cubby in the inky darkness—it hit her. 

‘Is my suffering for a high purpose? Or is my suffering trying to kill me?’ 

She cried. 

She escalated. 

She took it personal. 

But it wasn’t enough. She wanted to scream in a microphone in a sea of shadowy faces. She drank whiskey and wove her pain into rock music. 

‘Music is my boyfriend’ she declared. The only man that kept his baggage to hisself. And it healed her. It gave her voice reason and purpose. 

The pebble-laden hike became lighter with time. The incline eventually evened out to flat, beautiful landscapes where the breeze finally met her back. She knew it wasn’t gonna be easy or sunshine but even the rain cleansed her and it was beautiful too. 

Somewhere in the rain she decided rules were meant to be built and broken. Like trust and love and friendships and families. Because every thing deserves the opportunity to change and grow. 

So... She broke rule number 1 on stage while singing a beautiful song. Dr. Jefferson (PhD) screamed for her to stop but she didn’t listen and the tears flowed like rivers of emotion down her cheeks. 

Rule number 2 was broken when she grew older and saw the injustices of the world. Marching with hundreds in protest she realized not everything needs to be pacified. 

And one day when she finally fell in love, she broke rule number 3. No matter how much training she’d done she couldn't help but take every thing her lover said and did personal. But it was ok. Because in all her resistance she realized breaking rules was her power. 

Melissa began to fall for her feelings. Her feelings gave life purpose. They weren’t always logical, as feelings seldom are. They were sloppy and embarrassing and rude and so fucking uncomfortable. But they were hers. And they were real. And when she sat alone sipping wine, staring at the moon…They were the only ones still by her side. Ready to break the rules for her because they loved her. 

And she finally loved them back. 

[astraystayyh]

please fall before i fall

jeongin x reader. best friends to lovers. they think it's unrequited love so a bit of angst. but they're just idiots. happy ending :))

summary : 3 times you saved jeongin's ass and the 1 time he saved yours (and ended up confessing along the way). holidays themed.

winter falls masterlist.

a.n. : i am very happy to finally post my first fic for the winter falls collab with my author xi hehehehhe i hope you'll enjoy this one <333 it's very light and fluffy she's the cute one!! oh and my song rec is i bet on losing dogs by mitski

One. 

Jeongin’s thumb hovers over your contact name, his rosy lip pulled tightly between his teeth. He hesitates for a few seconds before finally dialing your number. 

“What do you want?” you start which makes an incredulous snort escape his lips, a gust of powdery air materializing before his mouth from the cold. 

“How much do I have to pay you for you to come over?” 

“Ten thousand dollars. Cash,” you precise as he mouths along to what you say, already guessing what your next words would be. 

He's come to know you at an abhorrent speed these past few months; since you sat right next to him in your biology class, head buried in an oversized navy hoodie. Your perfume knocked into him like a gentle breeze— Sicilian lemon and white bouquet notes, nostalgic summer amid an unforgiven autumn. Memories of sticky fingers from molten ice cream and feet soles meeting the warm sand wafted in the air, alluring him to the kindness of a long-gone summer, you. 

That is why he talked to you at first, because you smelled nice, incredibly so. He tells you it's because he liked the pair of shoes you were wearing. 

“What if I brought you your favorite coffee?”

“Are you outside my dorm?” you squeal and he imagines you must be scrambling to get up, opening the curtains. He knows he's right as your figure materializes behind the window. “Hi,” you wave, a small giggle escaping your lips. He can't help the fond smile that draws upon his lips. 

He thinks he likes you a little. 

“Hey, please help me wrap my family’s gifts,” he pouts, waving the coffee in the air. Your order that he memorized by heart, not even meaning to, it was just natural for him to order you coffee every day, to remember your preferences as if they were his own. 

“Why are you here if we're going to your dorm anyways?” you laugh, leaning against the window. 

“Because I know I need to bribe you,” he sighs, angling his head to the side. “Are you not going to hang up and come downstairs? The coffee will grow cold.”

“I’m coming!”

An hour later, four gifts are resting beside Jeongin's figure, perfectly wrapped thanks to your skilled hands. He's lying on the warmed tiles, and you're right beside him, so close your knee brushes against his thigh now and then. 

He is keeping count, well, more so his heart, constricting in his lungs each time you touch. 

He's so aware of you, so much he's sure you’ve crawled into his skin, morphing him into nothing but a shell of you. 

Perhaps he likes you a lot. 

“You're an insane man. Who leaves gift wrapping to the last minute?”

“You're best friends with said insane man.” 

“Remind me how did that happen again?” you ask, propping your head on your elbow, and turning to the side to look at him. Jeongin has to pretend that the sight of you hovering over him doesn't affect him. That his eyes aren't drawn to your lips, heart dissolving at your feet, hoping to brush against your own. 

Please fall before I fall, he nearly pleads.

“Why are you so close,” he feigns disgust, pushing your face away with his pointer finger. 

“What? Does that fluster you?” you question, amused, bringing your face even closer to his. He scrambles away before a blush sprouts on his face, one he wouldn't be able to justify to your scrutinizing gaze. 

“As if. You're ugly,” his eyes squint, lips thinning into that particular smile he knows annoys you. He moves to the side swiftly, anticipating the shoe you throw at him.

“You're literally— remind me to never help you again, asshole.”

“I'm kidding. Thank you for today, seriously. I didn't know wrapping gifts could be this hard.” He falls back to the floor dramatically, banging his head against the tiles in the process.

“Well deserved,” you whisper. 

“I heard that.”

“Good,” you giggle, before gently massaging the spot where he has bumped his head. He purses his lips against one another, afraid of what words might escape the confines of his throat, vocal cords moving to the gentle rhythm of your touch. 

“Will you keep on being this clumsy, Innie? mm?” you muse, tone quieter. 

The nickname makes his insides churn, it is always so tender when it falls from your lips. No one has ever called him this softly before. No one has ever called his heart before you. 

He shouldn't be this clumsy with it. It is a fragile organ, akin to glass, easily breakable, so translucent— it'd be easy for anyone to peer inside and find you in it. 

“Yeah, I probably will.”

He'll stop liking you next year. He hopes. He'll try. 

Two.

Next year has come, familiar frigid winds pulling you to Jeongin’s heart, perhaps even more so than before, cementing your being into the nooks and crannies of his soul, perfectly so, as if it was destined for you alone to fill the emptiness inside him. 

Seasons have changed and yet summer remains, its essence stored safely within the notes of your perfume, it tickles his nose as you're seated on the countertop, legs swinging lazily while he scouts through his fridge. 

“Remind me why we're doing this again?”

“Because I made a bet with Yoon.”

“Your sixteen years old brother?”

“Yes.”

“You are in college.”

“I know.”

“Why are you taking it to heart?” 

“Because I have my pride,” he says solemnly, hand on his heart and you roll your eyes. 

“You literally begged at my feet fifteen minutes ago to help you.”

A year later, Jeongin stood beneath your window once again, phone brought up to his ear, hand hidden behind his back. You pick up on the first ring. 

“Look out the window,” he quickly says before you can even speak. 

“Hello, Y/n, how are you, Y/n, are you surviving with the cold—” you say sarcastically as you pull the curtains, the words dissolving in your tongue as he brings a single flower before him— you recognize its pink petals easily, Camellia, the rose of winter.

“I did not have time for coffee, but I plucked this off the sidewalk,” he offers, an amused grin on his face. “Help me bake cookies, pretty please, I'll be forever indebted to you. Forever and ever and ever and ever—”

“This is such a poor rendition of Romeo and Juliet, I'm afraid Shakespeare is suffering in his grave right now.”

“Do you think he knows of every theater play that was done to his story?” Jeongin muses.

“That's a good question actually. I hope he didn't see mine,” you shudder before your face pales. 

“You did not tell me you ever did that!”

“I'll bake your cookies and you'll never bring this up again.”

“Deal. My Juliet,” he smirks and you throw a middle finger aggressively to his face before hanging up. He shouldn't find it as endearing as he does.

“Because, my dear Y/n, this is my holiday reputation at stake. I kind of raised the bar last year with my gift wrapping.”

“You did?” you raise an eyebrow promptly at his words and he sighs, taking out the butter before leaning against the fridge.

“We did. Which is exactly why I need your help again. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if Yoon wins,” he shudders and a giggle finally escapes your lips.

The kitchen warms up at the sight of your smile.

“It's cute when you need me once in a while,” you say nonchalantly, hopping off the counter and moving to wash your hands. Jeongin freezes in his place.

“I always need you though,” he confesses quickly, swallowing the words, hoping that this way you wouldn't be able to taste the sincerity coating them, sticky honey dripping from his tongue whenever it speaks of you.

“Good thing you'll always have me then,” you beam, your words hanging into the air, oxygen suddenly harder to inhale.

“Gross,” he fakes a shiver, as his heart drops in his chest, breaks, and twists at the weight your words carry.

He'll always have you, but not in the way he wants to, your eyes would never soften at the mere mention of his name, and you won't think that a season blooms into every room he is in. He has you, but just a fragment of you, not how you have him, as a whole, heart, body, and soul. 

He's already fallen, a terrible, terrible fall.

“Will you help me or just stare off into the distance?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. He smiles bashfully, rolling his sleeves and sidling by your side to mix in the eggs, one by one, per your instructions. 

It smells nice in the kitchen, the caramelized fragrance of browned butter, sweetened by the sugar dissolving into the warm liquid. Tentative sunlight streams through the window, and it falls perfectly on Jeongin's face, highlighting his sharp features. 

Not that jeongin needs any additional light, he reminds you of spring, a flower blooming on his face each time he smiles, his dimples two youthful fountains the roots strive from, brightening his face even more. 

He tentatively glances at you as he adds the chocolate chips to the mix, only to find you staring forward. He misses the fond look on your face by a few seconds, the tinting of your features with soft hues of pink, of spring, of him. He always misses it, always misses you. 

Three.

"I can't believe you have 37 pairs of shoes but not one nice shirt.”

“It's 36, please count correctly,” Jeongin retaliates and you snort, flopping around in bed till you land on your stomach, chin propped up by your hand. Jeongin is still rummaging through his closet, head almost disappearing into the dark void of his wardrobe. 

“What do you need this for anyway?” you question, as you scroll through your phone mindlessly. Jeongin’s eerie silence causes you to look up. 

“Um. I have a date tonight.”

“Oh.” 

His words hang over the room like a heavy cloak soaked with rain, the oxygen sucked out of your lungs and ensnared within that singular gasp.

Jeongin swiftly turns around, before kneeling beside the bed, eyes brimming with a hopeless search— you are too focused on steadying your breathing to notice.

“Should I go?”

“I mean… Why are you asking me?”

“If you don't want me to, I won't,” he speaks in an overflowing sincerity, as though he'd willingly surrender the reins of his life for you to guide, should you only dare to ask. 

A breath, a pause, and he adds, “In case you'll be lonely tonight.” Your hope deflates in an instant, akin to a birthday balloon tossed into the careless hands of children. 

Pity, that's what he feels for someone who hasn't had a date in a year while he went on ones regularly. Although they never transcended beyond that first meeting, always a first date, never a second. He says none of the people he meets are his type. 

“I have a date too.” It was the truth, Suhoo had told you to meet him at the ice rink. You said you'd think about it. You knew deep down that your answer would be no, solely because he isn't Jeongin.

Perhaps it is too late for him to fall for you.  

“Really?” 

“Yeah, with Suhoo, you know, the guy in our Economics class.”

“He's nice.”

“Mm.” 

Could you lose something you never had in the first place?

“You should wear Seungmin’s white shirt.” 

“Yeah. That's what I thought too.”

“And bring them flowers. The rose of winter, maybe.” 

You had preserved the plucked flower he gave you in a vase. The pink of the petals liquefying and bleeding into the blush on Jeongin’s cheeks once he noticed. 

“That one's just for you.” 

Four. 

You're alone on the ice rink, the frigid winds assail your form, fingers numb from winter's cruel grasp. Suhoo didn't come after all, perhaps he was offended by you calling him at the last minute to confirm your date.

The chill of disappointment is more biting than the frost— you want to melt off the ice, you want your spring. You want your Jeongin. 

But he isn't yours, perhaps he will never be. He is too sought after, too captivated by the fleeting chase of someone new to spare a glance at you. 

But in this instant, you need him. You need him to hold your hands in his larger, warmer ones and get you off the ice rink. You need the sight of his familiar dimples and blooming smile. 

So, you call him. He picks up on the first ring. 

“Are you that bored on your date?” He playfully taunts, and his voice becomes a gentle breeze that stirs the emotions you struggle to contain. Tears cascade down your cheeks in an achingly familiar path. 

“I-Innie,” you hiccup, and you’re instantly met with the sound of scraping chairs against the floor, the hastening cadence of footsteps hurrying out into the street. 

“Did he do something to you?” He speaks so coldly, a tone so foreign to the warmth of your Jeongin. He shouldn't be tainted with winter too. 

“He didn't come. Can you p-please pick me up?” 

“I will. I'm coming in a bit, okay?” 

He finds you rather quickly on the ice rink, a sore thumb unmoving between the gliding bodies. He skates over to you, almost falling twice in the process. 

“You're so clumsy,” you snort as he stands before you, sobs racking through your body once more at the sight of him.

You weren't mad at Suhoo. You were heartbroken over Jeongin.

“I'll beat him up for you. I'll tell Changbin to help me too,” he smiles, hands fidgeting as they land upon your cheeks, trying their best to wipe away your tears.

“Please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry, Y/n, I really can't bear it." The tears only fall harder at his words, as if he's stringing them forth with each touch of his.

“Did he do something to you?” an unknown voice startles you and you turn to your right to find a girl looking at you then at Jeongin, a frown etched on her eyebrows.

“No, I'm her friend I didn't-”

“I wasn't talking to you,” the girl cuts him off and you laugh despite you, as Jeongin’s jaw hangs open, before closing once more.

“It's not him, thank you so much though,” you smile gratefully and she nods, eyes wary as she glares at Jeongin one last time, before skating away.

“I can't believe that just happened,” He exhales, a breath tinged with bewilderment, before he delicately encircles a hand around your back. Gently, he guides your head to rest against the comforting refuge of his chest.

“What are you doing?” you mumble against his navy hoodie, the one he borrowed from you. You can still smell your perfume on him. 

“I'm comforting you.” 

“You don't like hugs.” 

“It's different when it comes to you.”

You close your eyes, allowing the tide of his warmth to envelop you like a cascade of spring petals.

“Where is your date?”

“I didn't go.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I love you. I'm tired of looking for you in other people,” he quickly says and you peel yourself away from him, feeling as if his clothes were suddenly made of fire. 

“What?” you whisper, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“I love you,” he repeats, each word drawn out, much slower this time, his hands cradling your face, tenderly, as though holding the sun between his delicate fingers. “I'm tired of pretending you're not my summer.”

“Don't say things you don't mean,” your voice wavers. 

“I mean it. I've always loved you. You complete me in ways I didn't know were possible, and I know you only see me as a friend but-”

Your lips press against his, a culmination of aching desires that have lingered for two years. Distant laughter echoes in the background, ice cream melting onto your fingers, a soft breeze ruffling your hair, flowers blooming under the soft caress of the sun— two seasons melting sweetly into the kiss.

“You're literally so blind,” you giggle against his lips, and his smile widens, your noses brushing against one another. “I love you too, idiot.”

“You love me?”

“You're my favorite season.” 

“Don't steal my lines.”

“Hey—” he kisses you this time, the winter is long forgotten. 

Was it ever a fall if you caught him in the end?

[capseycartwright]

oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)

Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.

Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he? 

Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.

ao3 link

t’s been a long time since Eddie Diaz had set foot in a church – of his own accord, at least. He’d been to the christenings and communions and confirmations of all of his various nieces, nephews, and cousins, he’d sat stiff in the pew as he’d watched friends, and family get married, trying his best not to remember how own wedding day, the way Shannon’s hands had shaken in his grip as they promised to love each other until death do them part, both of them young, too young to understand the covenant they were signing up to. Eddie had been there, for all those occasions, but he hadn’t gone to mass, or even sat in a church, just because he wanted to in a very long time. 

He wasn’t even really sure if he wanted to be there today, but it was a Thursday, and Christopher was in Texas, and Eddie wasn’t working, and he’d been having an extended mental breakdown for the last few weeks, and before he knew it, he was sitting in the pew of St Brendan’s Catholic Church, listening to a softly spoken priest with an Irish lilt to his accent – faded, after years in America, Eddie presumed, but still there, noticeable in the inflection of certain words – recite the Our Father. 

Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but it felt like every other church he’d been to in his life. They didn’t all look the same, necessarily, though they followed the same format, rows of uncomfortable wooden pews and an altar decorated in gold, as opulent as it was suffocating. Eddie had thought it beautiful, before, the way Catholic churches were decorated in gold and jewels, believing for so much of his life that the wealth honoured God – but living life had made him learn the grandeur and displays of wealth were nothing more than indicative of the wealth the Catholic church had hoarded while their devout followers starved, all in the name of faith and of God. True faith didn’t need to be gilded in gold to be sincere, he’d decided.

Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but mass was the same. It didn’t change – though the wording of some of the prayers did. He’d sort of been checked out of being a regular churchgoer by time they had changed some of the prayers, only discovering the difference when he confidently started to recite it wrong at his youngest niece’s communion, his mother fixing him with a glare so icy hell might have frozen over under the power of Helena Diaz’s gaze alone. He’d never learned the new ones, not really, and so Eddie just recited the one’s he’d learned for his own confirmation, the words falling from his lips, muscle memory more than it was faith now. 

Our father, who art in heaven – hallowed be thy name . 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, a little, as he murmured the prayer. Hallowed be thy name. He knew the prayer talked about God, their holy father, but the prayer had always made him think of his own father, of the way Ramon Diaz was a hallowed man in his own right, how he parented with an iron fist and expected to be obeyed. 

Things were getting better now, with his dad. Maybe – maybe that was part of the fear. Eddie had always been afraid of letting people down, but more than anyone, he was afraid of letting his father down – of seeing that look of disappointment set into every crease of his father’s face, an expression he’d been on the receiving end of for more of his childhood than he’d like to admit. Eddie had tried so hard to make sure he was never on the receiving end of that look again, but nothing he had ever done was good enough – not marrying Shannon, not the way he had tried to take responsibility for his young family, not the army, not the man he had been when he’d come home from Afghanistan. 

Distance had lessened the number of disappointed looks, but Eddie knew that was because he was simply not seeing them anymore; he was sure his father sometimes frowned at the phone when they’d finally call, silted conversation about Christopher and life at the firehouse the best either of them could muster. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was getting better. 

At least it had been, until his parents had taken Christopher with them to Texas. It hadn’t helped their relationship – but it hadn’t hindered it as much as Eddie had expected either. He was never going to thank them, for the way they had swooped in, ready to take Christopher at a moment’s notice, but he could thank them for giving his son the space that he needed to process. Eddie couldn’t give him that space, right now, but he was grateful someone could. Still – he would be ready to drive to Texas at the drop of a hat when Christopher decided he was ready to come home.

Things were getting better, that was the thing. His dad called, every night, to update Eddie on Christopher’s day. Eddie could hear the familiar sounds of the Diaz backyard as his dad softly spoke, telling Eddie about how Christopher had been to the lake, with his cousins, and how he’d finished another book, and how he was helping Helena to make dinner, right then. It had filled the gap until Christopher had started to call Eddie himself, his voice tinny as he mumbled over the phone, things not quite back to normal, Christopher not willing to talk to him about anything except Marvel and Minecraft and how abuela’s tamales were better than Eddie’s, but better than they were, at least. 

Every time they were on the phone, Eddie reassured his parents that he was working on himself. He was back seeing Frank, every week, and at Frank’s encouragement, he’d joined a veteran’s support group. Eddie wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect military veteran he assumed he needed to be, to join a veteran support group, but the rag-tag group that met at his community hall every month weren’t exactly the flag-wearing, gun-toting veterans he’d expected them to be. James was a 63-year-old man from Massachusetts who ran the group – he had moved out to LA to live with his daughter after he retired and referred to himself delightedly as a stay-at-home grandfather. Luisa was a vet around Eddie’s own age, and she’d gone back to university after she got out of the army and got a fine arts degree. She liked to paint, and talked about her wife with a reverence and openness that Eddie could only admire. 

He hadn’t said a word the first time he went, and Buck had sat in the Jeep in the carpark, a ready-made escape plan for Eddie in case he decided it was all too much. Eddie had sat quietly as the group had chatted, drinking tea and coffee out of flimsy paper cups, and eating homemade biscuits – made by James, who, as it turned out, was quite the prolific baker – and he’d watched. He’d watched as the group had talked about their bad days, and their good days, and how they were coping with life after the military, and not a single glorious war-story was exchanged. 

That was when Eddie knew it was safe to keep going. He was never going to be a man who was proud of his service, and he didn’t want to have to attend a support group of people who’d talk about their time in the military like it was the good old days. He had spoken a little more, the second time he went – Buck doing his groceries, two streets away, rather than sitting in the carpark – and he’d introduced himself, his voice gruff as he tried to figure out what version of Eddie he wanted to present to the world. 

Eddie was still figuring that part out – the version of himself he wanted to be, that is. 

He was figuring himself out. That was the point. He was trying, he was really trying – and people could see that, Eddie was sure. His parents said they could, at least.

Which was why he was here – in a church not dissimilar to the one he’d attended every Sunday in El Paso growing up – on his knees, praying to a God he wasn’t sure he actually believed in for guidance. 

read the rest on ao3

[little-diable]

First Impression – Billy Butcher (smut)

I'm back on my Billy bullshit, y'all just have to endure it. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader needs a date to a gathering, and since Hughie can't keep any of her secrets, she finds herself tangled in a fake dating situation with Billy

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, choking, fake dating, friends to lovers, the reader has awful parents

Pairing: Billy Butcher x fem!reader (2.5k words)

“Just say it.” Billy’s voice echoed through her kitchen, darkening eyes set on her frame. An expression torn between embarrassment and annoyance tugged on her features, forcing a sigh to leave (y/n). She momentarily turned her back on Billy, allowing her eyes to flutter close while she took a deep breath. “C’mon doll, spit it out, I don’t have much time eh?” 

“Fucking Hughie.” The words left her like a whisper, making a breeze into a storm so furious no people surrounding her were safe. “Look, just forget it, okay? I’ll figure it out.” 

“No, that’s not the way we do it, and you know it.” A somewhat amused smirk began to widen on Billy’s lips, hand running along his beard as he kept watching her. It felt like he was interrogating her, which he kind of was, though not because of any supe mess they were tangled in, but because Hughie couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut.  

“Fine. I need a date for a family thing, I’m done with being looked down on because I apparently can’t keep a man for long.” Billy’s raspy chuckles flushed another wave of embarrassment through her, body finding shelter on the kitchen chair vis-a-vis his. Billy studied her for a few more moments, dragging out the passing by seconds he clearly found enjoyment in. 

“And you want me to be your date? Could have just said so, love.” He leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smirk, arms crossed in front of his chest. (Y/n) fought against the angry groan wanting to leave her, making a silent promise that she’d strangle Hughie the next time she crossed paths with him. 

“I don’t want you as my date.” She stared him down, eyes challenging his without needing to speak any further words. Both knew that Billy had her trapped, both knew that Hughie knew all about the emotions both harboured, emotions not shared with one another once. 

“Why don’t I believe that? But, you sure you want your parents to meet me?” Amusement dripped from Billy’s words, slowly rising to his feet to round the table, hand finding her chin before (y/n) could pick up on his movements. “I wouldn’t make the best impression as your boyfriend, would I?”

“You’re a fucking cunt, Billy, but Hughie’s right, you’re my best shot.” His thumb ran along her lower lip, tongue kissing his teeth as he pondered over her words for a few beats of his calmly pounding heart. 

“Well, what’s in for me then?” 

…… 

“Fuck, doll, you want me to concentrate on anything while you wear this?” Billy’s eyes wandered down her frame, taking in the dress she was wearing, fingers aching to feel the fabric. His cock twitched in his dress pants, begging to feel her close, wanting to bury himself inside of her as she’d choke on his name.

The memory of their first night together haunted Billy whenever he got a few minutes to let his thoughts wander, caught up in the sounds she had produced, her whimpers, moans, and the sweetest call of his name. Fuck, he wasn’t proud to admit that he had fucked his hand to the thought of her whenever he needed a quick relief ever since that night – something he had been aching for since he had been fortunate enough to bury his face between her tights. 

“Don’t give me that look, Butcher, otherwise we won’t make it to my parents' house.” Her chuckles left him smirking, hand taking hers as he walked her to the car, helping her inside. She didn’t pick up on the “Would that be so bad?” leaving Billy, unable to let go of the memories of (y/n)’s naked body thumping through his mind like a shot of Compound V. 

The drive went by too quickly, though (y/n)‘s eyes kept flickering down to the hand placed on her knee, thumb stroking circles into the fabric. The heat his touch pushed through her left her trembling, wondering if it was humanly possible to feel whatever she was now held hostage by. 

“So, you always run around dressed up like this when meeting your parents?” Billie’s teasing grin had an all too familiar touch to it, and yet she still wasn’t used to seeing it directed at her. She had always envied those that managed to gain his attention for longer than just a few seconds, painfully oblivious to the way he stared at her for minutes whenever she wasn't looking.

“You‘ll understand once you meet them.” 

……

“Fuck me, how did you turn out like this with an upbringing this fancy?” Billy murmured the words against her skin, breath fanning her neck as he held her close. Their eyes wandered through their surroundings, taking in the strangers that filled her parents' mansion. (Y/n) barely recognised any of the people walking past her and Billy, not sparing the two a glance. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She turned around in his grasp, eyes finding his as she sipped on her champagne, hand finding the back of his neck. He looked undeniably handsome, the suit hugged his frame perfectly, an unfamiliar, welcomed view, even though (y/n) would always prefer his Hawaiian shirts. 

“Oi, you know exactly what that means, eh?” His smirk left her giggling, eyes rolling as she murmured a soft “You cunt”. Their bickering was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, forcing (y/n) to meet two pairs of all too familiar, curious eyes. Her parents stared at her and Billy, all too obviously wondering who the man was. 

“Mom, dad, it’s good to see you.” She shared a quick hug with them, nothing warm nor soft, perfectly matching the rather distanced relationship she and her parents had never worked on. “That’s William Butcher, my boyfriend.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Billy shook their hands before his hand found his way back to (y/n)’s waist, softly squeezing her side. He could tell that she didn’t feel comfortable, counting the passing by seconds till they could leave without her parents noticing. 

“Well, it was time for you to finally settle down. Let's hope you won't mess it up this time. You two should come visit soon, now, if you’ll excuse us.” With an almost pained gaze she watched her parents disappear, blending in with the big crowd all too easily. Only the pressure Billy used to squeeze her waist managed to rip (y/n) out of her thoughts, forced to blink away her tears before she dared to meet his dark eyes. He studied her for a few seconds as if he was looking at a painting, trying to decipher symbols, trying to match meanings to colours. 

Wordlessly Billy began to pull her through the crowd, fingers interlaced to keep her close. The chilly air wrapped itself around them like a translucent veil, hugging their limbs as they walked through the quiet garden. (Y/n) wasn’t used to feeling Billy close, at least not this close, and yet it felt as if she had dared to taste the forbidden fruit, already addicted, unable to work against the crush she had harboured for endless weeks by now. 

“You okay?” His murmurs broke the comfortable silence, hand finding (y/n)’s warm cheek. Their eyes didn’t dare break contact, forced closer together till not even a piece of paper would fit between them. Billy had always been gentle with her, not daring to toss her around like the rest of his crew, but the way he looked at her in this very moment was unfamiliar, nothing she could pinpoint. 

“I’m used to it, it keeps on hurting, but I’ll be alright. Thank you though.” A few more moments passed before Billy closed the gap between them, lips finding hers. Her surprised gasp rumbled through her, vibrating on the lips that moved in sync with hers. (Y/n)’s hands found his neck, toying with the dark hairs she had pulled that night when he had fucked her into oblivion, making her forget her own name. 

“Want to get out of here, doll?”

……

The door to her apartment fell close with a thud, sound swallowed by the moan leaving (y/n) as Billy hungrily kissed her. His hands worked on her dress, letting the fabric fall to the ground, with his suit jacket following moments later. Wordlessly she guided him into her bedroom, thoughts set on the orgasms he’d push through her system that night, desperate for any kind of distraction. 

Both parted to allow Billy to undress, giving (y/n)’s eyes the chance to wander up and down his frame, already aching for his touch, needing to feel his hands on her skin, between her thighs and on her chest. With only their underwear clinging to their frames, they found one another again in her bed, sharing kisses as Billy pressed her against the mattress, trapping her. 

“Won’t be gentle with you tonight, doll, hope you know that.” She could only moan in response, begging him to leave his marks, to remind her of the power he held over her. Billy’s mouth found her collarbones, kissing them as his hands worked on her bra, freeing her breasts. Ever since they had slept with one another all these weeks ago, (y/n) had tried to mimic his touch whenever she was needy for another high, and yet she had never managed to take care of herself the way Billy could. His big hands worked on her breasts, tugging on her hardening nipples, sucking on them to force a few more moans out of her. 

She felt his cock pressing against her thighs, aching to feel her wrapped around him, to feel her close. Though before (y/n) could even dare to think of touching him, Billy murmured her name, commanding her to hold still. 

“Hands over your head where I can see them, tonight is all about you, doll.” A whine of protest left her, a sound Billy couldn’t help but chuckle at. His eyes kept staring her down as he worked on her panties, pulling them down her leg to gain access to her dripping folds. “You’re soaked, baby. All for me, huh?”

“Fuck yes, just for you.” The second his tongue brushed her folds, (y/n) threw her head back, allowing her body to produce the most sinful sounds. Her heart was racing in her chest, working on the adrenaline he pushed through her, leaving her trembling beneath him. Billy’s tongue worked in wicked ways, pushing her closer to the edge in no time as he dug his fingers into her skin to keep her close. 

“How many can you take, eh? Two? Three?” (Y/n) couldn’t reply, eyes squeezed shut in order to stop herself from giving in, not yet ready to let this moment pass. Without another warning, Billy pushed two fingers into her tightness, spreading her walls like his cock would do in a few minutes. His name rolled off her tongue like a prayer, and yet the moment was too sinful for any god to hear the call, letting the devil darken the clouds above them. “Atta girl, so good for me, don’t know how I’ve managed to refrain from fucking you for the past weeks.”

She wanted to reply, wanted to tell him that she had struggled just as much, and yet no words managed to push past her lips. All (y/n) could do was choke on her gasps, on the whines he coaxed out of her, about to let go. But Billy knew her body all too well, letting go of her before she could fall from the cliff, allowing the heavenly feeling to rush through her. 

“Condom?” (Y/n) pointed towards her nightstand, watching him pull the silvery packet free as she was catching her breath, trying to find words she could use to curse him, hating him from pulling away too soon. Her lust drunken eyes watched Billy free his cock, rolling the condom down his twitching cock, aligning himself with her heat. 

One of his hands found her throat, keeping her pinned to the mattress as he pushed into her, forcing her walls to adjust to his girth. Both moaned in unison, foreheads pressed together in a desperate try to ground themselves. Their hearts kept skipping beats, unable to hold back as Billy started moving, building a ruthless pace that made (y/n) claw her fingernails into his shoulder. 

Their bodies moved together, skin meeting with every thrust that pushed them closer to the edge. Billy’s hand tightened its grip on her throat, heightening her senses, making her blood rush in her ears. (Y/n)’s gasps for air left him smirking, finding a sick sense of satisfaction in the way he had her trapped, how easily he could guide her body like he was owning her. 

“Billy,” she moaned his name, glassy eyes finding his, begging him to keep on going. “Fuck I’m close.” The sensation he had ripped from her moments ago was back, flushing through her system like a drug, pushing her towards the edge once again. He didn’t reply, kept ruthlessly snapping his hips against hers, not daring to let go just yet. 

“Look at you, drunk on my cock, so desperate for me.” His words left her groaning, eyes fluttering close as her orgasm washed through her without another warning. With a smirk tugging on his lips, Billy watched her come undone, fucking her through the sensation till his own orgasm started to rock through him. 

Their trembling bodies stayed connected for a few more moments, trying to catch their breaths before Billy parted from her. He got rid of the condom, wordlessly cleaning her up with a towel, careful not to put pressure on the marks his lips and fingers have left on her skin. 

“You okay?” He kissed her, arm finding her waist to pull her close. She nodded her head as a content sigh left her, head placed on his chest. His fingers drew shapes into her skin, letting his thoughts wander till her soft whispers interrupted them. 

“Will you leave again?” (Y/n) could still remember the morning she had woken without him near, disappearing in the middle of the night. Back then she hadn’t been able to bite down her hurt, feeling used by the man she couldn’t help but long for. 

“Do you want me to?” Their eyes met as (y/n) tilted her head towards him, hand cupping his bearded cheek. She gave it a few seconds before she softly kissed him, murmuring a quiet “Never”.

[bliss-in-the-void]

My actual canonical interpretation of SatoSugu?

I believe they were the bestest of friends, inseparable soul mates who were mutually in love with each other, but never confessed the depth of their feelings, never discussed their relationship, and never actually made anything out of it.

I believe that Suguru had a massive crush on Satoru throughout their high school years. Satoru was more dense on the other hand and did love Suguru but didn’t know how to place his feelings exactly. Suguru was always by his side and that was enough, he felt secure, so why look into it deeper?

After the trauma from the Star Plasma Vessel mission, Suguru was heartbroken that Satoru left him alone a lot. He missed Satoru and spiraled, self-isolated, started becoming obsessed with his own self-talk about ‘monkeys’ and ‘creating a new world with sorcerers only’. He and Satoru both became self-absorbed. Suguru lost that crush and admiration he had for Satoru even though he still loved him. He wanted his own goals more. So he left.

The second he left, I bet that’s when Satoru realized what Suguru meant to him. That’s probably one of the reasons that Satoru is stuck in the past, because he finally placed his feelings for Suguru, realized he was in love with him, and kept replaying those moments they had together, realizing he never noticed Suguru sending signals, mad at himself for never noticing. He regretted it so badly that he just couldn’t stop living in the past with Suguru. If he’d just paid attention, if he noticed Suguru’s signals, his spiraling, maybe he could have stopped it.

That moment where Suguru returns to the high school to declare war only to leave again, when Satoru watches and watches, (according to the JJK 0 Light Novel) his “eyes kept following the shape of Geto’s soul”. He couldn’t look away. He was filled with so much regret. His entire creed is to raise strong sorcerers together so that no one has to be alone the way Suguru and he ended up.

And when the time came for him to kill Suguru, because last words are so important to him, he finally told Suguru what he should have told him when they were high schoolers. “I love you.”

Suguru, who’d long buried those feelings, probably realized that the things he’d told himself about how Satoru viewed him were wrong. This whole time, Satoru really did love and trust him still. That’s why he smiled. He was loved in return.

“You should at least curse me a little at the end.”

He wishes Satoru would have hated him because now he’s filled with regret. If only they’d had talked sooner, none of this would have happened. Suguru had always placed emphasis on ‘found family’. We see this when he calls Kuroi “Riko’s family” and when he adopts Mimiko and Nanako, as well as the rest of the sorcerers/curse users he rounds up for the Night Parade of 1,000 Demons. With that said, I know for a fact that when they were in high school, he saw Satoru as his family. He saw him as home, as safety, as love.

Really, the only time that he and Satoru aren’t putting on some sort of act is when they’re alone together. It’s strange to see the two of them so serious, especially Satoru, who deflects with humor like his life depends on it. But it’s fitting. They’re just comfortable around each other, there’s no need for masks. They never even seriously raised their hands against each other, nor fatally hurt each other’s family/students.

Now, fast-forward to a year later in Shibuya, when Kenjaku uses the love Satoru and Suguru have for each other against Satoru. How does he know seeing Suguru would have such a drastic effect on Satoru that it would immobilize him completely? Did he watch from afar? Did he keep tabs on them? Or did he see Suguru’s memories somehow? Could he feel how Suguru felt when around Satoru? I’d like to think it was both—Kenjaku kept tabs on them before Suguru died, and gained access to his memories after taking him over.

He even knew the tone Suguru used to use for Satoru’s name. The soft way he called his name. He knew the only thing in the entire world that could stop the strongest sorcerer in modern times was using the love of his life against him.

The smile Satoru had when he thought it was Suguru makes me believe that the only thing he wanted was to see him again.

Then, when he realized it wasn’t him, Kenjaku said “how sad, you don’t recognize me?”

As if to say Suguru would be devasted that Satoru didn’t recognize him. Kenjaku knows how Suguru feels about Satoru.

Then Satoru calls him on his bs and he says “creepy, how did you know?”

Creepy?

The only other time Kenjaku is creeped out is waaaaaaay later in the manga (spoilers ahead) when Satoru sets the fight day to Dec 24th Kenjaku acknowledges that it’s romantic, and that “having a date with him on the 24th gives him the creeps”.

Oh, I know he’s grossed out with how much they love each other. Like. How the hell else do you interpret that???? Come. On.

Add in when Suguru somehow comes back from the dead for a moment and tries to choke his own body to save Satoru. Kenjaku is baffled—that’s never happened before. That is a demonstration of love everlasting, absolutely.

Then you have Shoko’s “I’d never fall in love with either of you, but you were still never alone” to SatoSugu, basically confirming that she knew the two of them shared a romantic bond that she couldn’t replicate the depth of.

So. Yes. They were very very much in love with each other and to this day Satoru loves Suguru with every fiber of his being and lives his life dedicated to atoning for his (self-perceived) failures to Suguru. He thinks about him everyday. He says he was his only friend. He has Shoko, Ijichi, Mei Mei, and Utahime and yet he only sees Suguru. He only sees Suguru.

[spectorswife]

Where the Heart Never Left

Pairing: Kuai Liang/reader

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: 18+ only, SMUT with plot, p in v sex, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, biting, fingering, edging, afab!reader, let me know if I missed anything please.

AN: this is my first time writing a fanfiction, so I apologize in advance if this is terrible. This is definitely not proof read

This takes place during part 1 of the story, after Bihan and Kuai fought. (I have not played the DLC yet so please no spoilers) but enjoy the read :)

MDNI PLEASE

It’s been weeks since you stood by Bi-Han, trying to rebuild the Lin Kuei in his image, and every day feels heavier than the last. A part of you keeps whispering that this is the right path, but the weight of what you left behind gnaws at you constantly—your partner, Kuai Liang the only person who ever made me feel like home; who is also Bihan’s brother. You thought you could live with that choice, thought you could bury it deep enough, but it still haunts you. The memory of that day claws at your mind every night, refusing to let go. You abandoned the love of your life, betrayed him for some misplaced sense of duty, and the guilt... the guilt is suffocating. You know you've let him down; you can feel it. He’s probably disgusted, and honestly, you don’t blame him. You deserve it. You  left him to burn while you sought comfort in the cold. 

*I keep telling myself to let it go, but my mind refuses to listen, dragging me back into this endless pit of doubt. No matter how hard I try, it claws at me, screaming that I’m wrong—always wrong. It was all too much. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, so I left. I left the temple, my Grandmaster, the Lin Kuei; only for a little while. I just needed space… I needed air that wasn’t thick with guilt, shame, and judgment in every corner, hearing Kuai’s voice whispering in my head begging me to not leave and his brother telling me I’ve done the right thing. I couldn’t take it anymore, too much for me to handle.. I know I’ll go back, I have to.. That place is a part of me, no matter how much it hurts.*

——————————————————————————————————

*I’m home, but nothing feels right. I thought the voices, the guilt, would stop once I left the source of my agony altogether for a bit. But damn, it’s still here, eating away at me. I want it all to stop. I want what’s best for the clan, but not at the cost of my own sanity. I miss how things used to be. No feuds, no Shang Tsung—just... peace. Gods, I miss you.. I miss you Kuai. I miss what we were, before I walked away. Every part of me wishes you’d come back to me, even though I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. I can’t shake this gnawing feeling that I ruined it all, and there’s no going back now. I must live with it, even though it keeps me up at night.*

The nightmares never stop. You can barely sleep, and when you do, it’s worthless. Most nights, you stay up, trying to outrun the horrors that haunt you the moment you close your eyes, but it doesn’t matter. None of it does. Being awake is just another nightmare—one you can’t escape from. Every breath, every second, is a reminder that you're still trapped, still living the same twisted nightmare; the loss of the love of your life. Sleep offers no peace, but neither does staying awake. It’s a never-ending cycle, and you're drowning in it. All because you picked a damn side. *Damn you Shang Tsung.. Damn you.. you ripped my family apart. These brothers — they were my family. Kuai.. my love, Bihan.. my teacher My protector, Tomas.. My good friend… they were everything to me. Everything I had, and you poisoned Bihan’s mind, shattered the bonds we shared. You took them from me, turned them against each other. I’ve lost everything and… you *gained* from it.. Damn you*

———————————————————————————————

It’s one of those nights again. The nightmares come for you the moment you fall asleep, playing out the same twisted scene on repeat. Bi-Han and Kuai fighting—again. You see it all happen just like before: the ice blade slicing across your lover’s face, the blood, the pain. But this time, it’s worse. This time, Bi-Han doesn’t stop. He goes to finish it, to end Kuai right in front of you... and you’re frozen, helpless, unable to move. Just as the nightmare is about to unravel into something even darker, you’re jolted awake by a knock at the door.

You wake up, disoriented, your mind still tangled in the nightmare. Who could it be? You drag yourself to the door, every step weighed down by exhaustion, your body a mess—hair disheveled, clothes wrinkled, eyes heavy with the remnants of sleep.

You open the door and you see him

Kuai? Your eyes widen instantly with still hints of sleep behind your eyes. He looks rather frantic as well..

What are you doing here? It’s late. More importantly.. Why are you here?

Kuai exhibits a rather shocked expression seeing you in your disheveled state. He didnt think you would answer the door, or quite frankly, even be home. But he quickly composes himself.

“Im sorry for waking you. I didn't realize it was this late. I couldn’t sleep myself. I just… need to speak with you.. May I come in?”

You stare at him with such a soft expression after hearing his words. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him, so you allow him in without a second thought.

“I’m going back to my room to fix myself, I’m a mess right now… evidently… If you wish to follow, please don’t hesitate”

Kuai nods appreciatively and follows you into your home. As you two both enter, you can sense that something is troubling him, however youre conflicted in whether or not it’s your place to ask. But you cave in anyway.

“What’s troubling you Kuai Liang”. The thought of not being as affectionate with him anymore since the incident is killing you, but you know its not right to feel as if your entitled to it.

“It’s… a lot of things, really. But the main thing that has been on m mind these past few weeks is us. Our situation really, or better yet, our separation you can say. I know you chose Bihan’s side, but part of me feels like whats left of us is still there..”

You look back to him confused after fixing yourself up 

“I didnt think there was still an "us" Kuai Liang.. I kept telling myself that since that day. I kept telling myself that you hated me so I wouldn’t continue dwelling but- it wasn’t working”

Kuai’s heart aches as he hears your words and his gaze towards you softens as well. 

“Till this day I still don't understand why you chose his side. But I know you, and you probably have a better judgment than him. I've just been struggling with my feelings for a whole. I cant shake the memory of what we once had before the feud. I cant shake- "

Kuai hesitates for a moment before he finishes his sentence 

“I can’t shake the love that I still hold for you”

A surge of surprise and relief washes over you at his words. You decide to take a seat because its all too much to handle. Deep down, you always hoped he’d come back, but there’s a part of you that knows you don’t deserve his love—not after everything you’ve done. You can’t let yourself make any assumptions, so instead, you blurt out the question.

“What are you saying Kuai Liang…”

Kuai takes a seat next to you, there is still some tension present, your bodies aren’t facing each other but his eyes are locked onto yours as he considers what he wishes to say next.

“I’m saying I want you.. my sweet girl.. if you-  still wish to be called that. I want us together again… I miss loving you, being with you. I know with circumstances now it won’t be easy but my love for you has never died.”

You try with everything in you to look away from him, but it’s impossible. A flood of emotions crashes over you—longing, guilt, desperation. You’ve been waiting for this moment, losing sleep over it night after night. And now, here he is. Yet, the shame is overwhelming, weighing down every part of you, twisting your desire into something you can barely face.

“Sweetheart.. please.. look at me” He gently turns your face toward him, his touch soft but his gaze intense, more so than ever before. Your faces are so close now, and you can’t help but let your eyes flicker between his and his lips. Desire floods through you, but you’re torn. You *want* this—crave it, even—but deep down, you know you don’t deserve it. Not after everything.

“I’ve missed you so much. Being apart from you has been hell.”

Your gaze softens at his words yet your inner turmoil has become your worst enemy. “I’ve missed you too.. but I’ve betrayed you Kuai.. and I don’t deserve forgiveness..”

“Be that as it may..." *Kuai’s voice is firm but still carrying that softness you’ve always known.* "I believe in forgiveness, especially when it’s you. What matters now is what we choose to do from here. Are you ready to accept us, to try again? To build something stronger... together?” 

You stay silent after he speaks, the conflict inside you twisting tighter. You avoid his eyes, looking anywhere but at him, but it’s useless. His hand gently caresses your cheek, drawing you in. Slowly, the space between you fades, the tension thickening as you both move closer, your noses almost brushing. Your gazes lock, and in that moment, it’s impossible to ignore the mix of desire and love simmering between you.

“Kuai..” Is the only word that slips from your lips. You feel your heart beat increase and you hope and pray he doesn’t hear it..

“Please…” is all he says in return. And you can’t help but wonder what he’s pleading.

“Please let me kiss you..”

Your heart skips a beat at his words, but you know the consequences of this endeavor if Bihan were to find out. “We cant..” You say in a slight whisper, trying to mask the desire in your voice.

“I know… but I’m finding it hard to resist. My heart yearns for you my love. I’ve missed you”

You let out a sigh with a mixture of frustration and lust. You know you want him. You’ve craved this moment for so long, you have the love of your life back. But you cant help but feel like this is a dream.

“I’m willing to live with the consequences sweetheart, let my brother find out. As long as I have you, my will to fight will always be great. Sweetheart.. I need you..”

You can't help but sigh once again, feeling his breath fan over your face. You are struggling to give in, and you find your hand placed on his leg as you give it an involuntary squeeze.

Kuai hisses at your action, pressing his forehead against yours; he closes his eyes in frustration. “You're making it very hard for me to hold back.. please.. please.. let me taste you”

His pleading whispers to you send a shiver down your spine. You are still feeling conflicted. It’s very clear what you want and deep down you dont know what’s stopping you from getting it. You rise from your bed in frustration immediately puling yourself out of this situation and start to pace. Kuai is caught off guard by your sudden movement, he gaze towards you as your standing is still a mixture of lust and frustration with now a hint of confusion. “Wait! Where are you going?” his voice now filled with concern as if he’s done something wrong.

“Fuck it” is all you can say before you turn around and pull him in. Your lips pressed against his, the kiss filled with hunger and need.

He pulls you in closer, is muscular arms wrapping tightly around your body, holding you possessively against him as your mouths mold together in such a passionate kiss. You cup his face, internally you wish for him to not pull away. Your steps make your way back to the foot of the bed. Your hands on Kuai’s face feel like a lifeline for him, anchoring him to this moment. The love you two have once shared evidently present in this moment, you two have missed this, you’ve yearned for it for so long and the moment is finally here. As your steps take you back to the bed, he pushes you gently against the footboard, pressing his body against yours, needing to feel every inch of you. The kiss deepens and his hands slowly begin to wander over your body.

Your back slowly falls onto the bed and your legs voluntarily wrap around his waist. Kuai Liang’s body begins to hover over you, body pressed against you, intertwined in a perfect and desperate embrace. His lips move from yours and make their way to your jawline, then down to your neck, leaving a trail of heated kisses where he can feel your pulse throbbing wildly. He pulls away for a moment and you whimper at the loss of contact, he presses his forehead against yours and looks you deep into your eyes, his voice rough and ragged, being consumed by the intensity of this moment. 

“Fuck I’ve missed you sweet girl”

His words send a jolt through your body as you involuntarily grind upwards into him.. Your voice soft and whiny, “I’ve missed you most”

You pull at the hem of his Shirai Ryu uniform wishing for more contact than you two currently have. Knowing your desires, Kuai leans back, giving you space to lift the top of his uniform over his head and toss it aside, his bare chest now exposed to your gaze. In doing so, you reciprocate the action and take off the top of your clothing. You feel his eyes roam over your bare skin, taking in every inch of you, scanning over your collarbone, your chest, your stomach, he’s taking in everything.. like an animal eyeing his prey. He reaches out, his fingertips caressing your curves ever so slightly. His voice low, filled with tenderness and adoration… “You’re so beautiful… every part of you… may I?”

You feel your breath quicken as he touches you and it makes you yearn for him so much more. “Yes.. im yours..” You pull him in for another needy kiss. Your breathless words and the way you pulled him in ignites a primal hunger within him. His hands roam over your bare skin as he presses himself against you. It has been so long since you two have had a moment like this that he is at a loss for words.. “I- I need you..”

“You have me”

Hearing those words unleashed the last bit of restraint he had, claiming your mouth once more in a demanding kiss. His rough calloused hands grab a hold of your hips and presses you into the mattress. He leaves tender kisses over your bare skin, slowly making his way down, you feel your breath quicken once more until he reaches to the waist band of your pants. He looks up at you with desire and you give him a nod. With full permission, he undresses the lower half of your body and he can’t help but let out a low grown at the sight. He stares at your pussy in awe and see how its glistening in your arousal already.. he hasn’t even touched you yet..

“Gods..” He leans his head down on the mattress, trying to keep his composure but you feel yourself writhing from underneath him. “Kuai… please..” You reach towards his head as you wish to push him closer to your heat. 

“Patience sweet girl… needy are we?”

“I need you please.. I need your tongue..”

“Oh darling.. I’m going to take my time with you..”

Kuai presses a tantalizing lick against your folds as you let out a low moan. Your legs could help but close but Kuais hands pry you open once more and keep you pinned.. “no hiding now sweetheart.. just sit back and enjoy..”

Your finger run through his dark hair and you give a tug as he pressed another lick against you and makes his way down to your hole. The tug sends a chill down his spine as he moans at the pain of your pull, radiating in between your legs. The sounds you make are music to his ears and he wishes to pulll every ounce of sound out of you. He presses kisses to your inner thighs and nibbles at each side before diving right back into you. He slowly licks up to your clit and takes it in his mouth gently as twirls his tongue around you. Your back arches at the action and your grip on his hair tightens and Kuai groans once more. 

“Fuck..” Is all you can say. The pleasure is too great and you feel it building up. Your core begins to tighten at his continuous actions. He recognizes your bodily reactions all too well, he knows youre close, however he doesn’t wish for this moment to be over yet.

“Baby.. please” you plead. Your voice filled with desperation. “I’m gonna-“

He stops

The loss of the build up has you in shambles. You plead and look down as to why he stopped, and you see a slight smirk on his face, as his chin is glistening in your juices. he rises back up to your face, “Did you really think it was going to be that easy sweetheart? I told you, I’m taking my sweet time with you” he presses a kiss against your open lips tongue swirling around yours as your taste yourself on his tongue. He makes his way back down in between your legs and stares at you. “Be a good girl for me yeah?” Not knowing what he has planned, you nod regardless, biting your lip to suppress a moan.

He repeats his actions once more, lapping at your juices, his nose rubs against your clit in the right spot and it causes a high pitched moan to escape your lips. Kuai smiles at what he hears as he continues licking at your folds. He takes two fingers and inserts them inside of you. Surprised by the sudden insertion, you pull at Kuai’s hair in pleasure with one hand and you are grasping your bed sheets with another. “Fuck!” You feel his fingers pumping in and out of you as he continues abusing your clit. His pace quickens and he feels the same buildup in your body once more, you tightening around his fingers, almost consuming them involuntarily, the pleasure is too much for you to handle. “I’m gonna-“

“Do it sweetheart, let me taste you fully, you can let go”

You feel yourself reach your climax and you let goes completely, your body almost trembles and shakes as he makes you cum hard into his mouth. Taking in everything that you leave behind. He rises from in between your legs as he stares at your disheveled state and gently caresses your face. “You're not done yet love.. brace yourself” Kuai presses a tender kiss to your lips and your forehead. You smile at his action as you watch him undo his pants, letting his dick free, already dripping with precum. It really was a sight for you. Oh how you missed him…

He slowly aligned himself to your entrance, pushes in achingly slow earning moans escaping from both of your lips. “Fuck..” Kuai groans underneath his breath. You hiss as he stretches you in such a familiar way. He places one of his hands on your cheek as his arm keeps him afloat as he hovers over you. His movements are slow, wanting to drag this out as long as possible as he takes your lips in for another passionate kiss. “I love you..” He whispers between each slow thrust. you moan at his movements and you reciprocate his loving words, “I love you too Kuai..” 

His smallest movements cause your walls to tense around him. With each rock, his breathing deepens and his pants become more desperate but he holds out a little bit longer. You bring your hands to his back as you bring his upper half closer to you, you dig his nails in his back “faster please..”

His self composure slowly crumbling, his pace starts to pick up his eyes locked onto yours, he removes his hand from your face and presses it down on your lower stomach, knowing it feels good for you.

“Talk to me baby.. how does it feel..?” he knows the answer to that, he knows your body like the back of his hand already. He just wishes to hear your voice.

“Perfect..” Your words make his pace alot faster than before. Needy pants escape both of your lips, noises of arousal fill your bedroom. He starts pounding into you, the pace becoming unmatched. Kuai feels his own climax unravelling and his voice starts to become filled with need. “Im so close…”

As Kuai keeps his fast pace, he starts to increase the power behind each thrust literally fucking you senseless. No words escape your lips, just your jaw slacked open, the pleasure becoming too much to handle. It’s becoming too much to handle for him too, Kuai begins to whimper in his own pleasure as you both finally reach your climax. Kuai cums hard into you as you cum as well, your juices all over his dick as his seed spews in your insides. The pressure in both of your nerves finally releases. He pulls out of you and falls next to you. You both lay there for a while, completely fucked out of your minds. As youre catching your breaths, you look down suddenly and see Kuai’s cum leaking out of you and onto your bedsheets. You look back up and stare at him next to you, and you laugh in contentment as you wrap your arms around him. Kuai slightly moans at your sudden touch before he turns to face you and wrap his arms around you. Pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You both hum in relief and contentment as you both fall asleep, completely enveloped in each other’s presence, as if the rest of the world has faded away. You prayed for his return every night, despite the nagging doubt of whether you truly deserved his affection. You missed him so deeply, longing for the days when you were together, wishing for nothing more than to have him back in your life. And now he’s here, in your room and completely engulfed by his presence. And you wish for nothing more.

The morning hits, sunlight filtering through your window, gently stirring Kuai awake from his sleep. He wakes up slowly, arms still wrapped around you. He takes in the sight of you sleeping and a wave of contentment washes over him. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, a soft smile paying at the corners of his mouth. He notices the peaceful expression on your face as you begin to stir in your sleep. For the first time since the incident, you have slept with no nightmares; he notices a sense of serenity as you sleep and it fills him with so much relief. He continues to watch you before gently rubbing his fingers against your arm in a soothing affectionate gesture.

You sleepily moan at his touch and push yourself further into his embrace. Your sounds make Kuai’s heart skip a beat as he continues to rub your arm. As you stir awake, your back facing his chest, you let out a sleepy satisfied hum as he presses his lips towards the back of your neck and nuzzles his face into your hair, breathing n your scent and savoring the feeling of your body pressed against his. You feel his fingers tracing soothing patterns against your skin; you sleepily take his hand and place it to your lips as you press kisses from his palm to his fingertips. You actions make his heart swell with love, admiring the affectionate gesture. He lets out a soft sigh, hand gently cupping your face and whispering in your ear..

“Gods you're incredible”

You let out a sleepy giggle at his words, wishing you could stay in this moment forever. It feels like a dream come true, a piece of fate finally falling into place. The love you both share has never faded, and it’s as if none of the betrayal, none of the pain ever happened. In this moment, there is only the two of you—untouched by the past, as if you’d never chosen Bi-Han’s side, as if the love in your hearts had never left.

[wileys-russo]

That pic of mary and the baby hello…..i know you have written similar stuff before for her but could you do a blurb where the reader and mary have a baby together? maybe reader brings them to a match, once it’s over mary comes over to see them and takes the baby who instantly buries their head in her chest and all mary’s teammates notice and rush over to come see their favourite supporter

part of the a date to remember universe series 🫶🏻

crowd favourite II m.earps

you’d finally convinced your wife to let you bring your little bundle of joy to her first ever international football match, an england friendly against germany which being a euros rematch had already attracted a sold out crowd.

your wife forever over protective of both you and your little now nine month old daughter had banned the two of you from the previous england games claiming that the crowds became far too rowdy.

after a couple of months you’d started to take delilah to some of her home united matches, mary much more trusting of the crowds it drew in and knowing worse case she could be by your side in a minute if need be.

but now when you were up in the family and friends box staring down at your wife who was merely a spec in the wonderous size of a packed out wembley stadium, you’d needed to assure her over and over you would both be absolutely fine.

“well now do my eyes deceive me or is mrs earps finally off house arrest?” your head moved up toward the grinning blonde making her way over to you as you carefully stood with your daughter in your arms.

“hi lee.” you greeted the captain with a smile, kissing her cheek as she hugged you with one arm mindful of your daughter. “god she’s getting big, look at the hair on her!” leah gasped in surprise, ruled out from the game with a tweak in her knee sarina didn’t want to risk.

“you should see mary’s baby photos, this is nothing!” you laughed, kissing your daughters forehead affectionately before carefully passing her over to leah. you watched with a fond smile as the younger girl cooed at your daughter, face brightening as delilah rewarded her with a few giggles for her efforts.

“are you coming down?” leah asked nodding outside where you knew she’d shortly head down to sit behind the players bench with the rest of the staff. “i don’t think I have the clearance for that!” you laughed, handing off your daughter again to marys mum as she returned from the bathroom.

“please. look who you’re with! this face is all the clearance you need my girl.” leah grinned gesturing to herself making you roll your eyes playfully. “go! i’ve got her sweetheart she’s due for a nap soon anyway, mary will appreciate you being there.” julie smiled warmly.

“i’m just gonna see if she’ll feed before kick off. she was really fussy this morning with the bottle and mary not being home.” you sighed at the memory, barely able to have her drink more than a few mouthfuls.

taking delilah and grabbing your bag you moved toward the parents room, locking the door after you.

“-and you’re sure you don’t mind?” you asked your mother in law for the third time after your returned who shook her head with a laugh and waved you off. “darling she’s fed and fast asleep. go and enjoy the game!” the woman shooed you away as leah grabbed your hand, pulling you with her as you blew your daughter one last kiss.

“alright leah relax you’re gonna rip my arm off mate!”

~

“hi sexy.” you grinned at your wife as she finally made her way over after saying hi to as many fans as she could, the rest of the girls not far after her revelling in their 3-1 win.

“mary!” you squealed as your wife manhandled you up and over the barrier, placing you down on the pitch and kissing you fiercely earning you a few wolf whistles as you pulled away and buried your face in her shoulder.

“you’re so sweaty.” you mumbled with a sigh as she hugged you tightly, making a point to rub her face into your shirt as you pushed her off. “hello mrs earps! now where is mini earps?” you were quickly tugged into another sweaty hug by millie.

“up in the box with mary’s mum. nice to see you too brighty!” you poked accusingly at her chest. “excuse me it’s not my fault your bulldog of a wife won’t let us meet her unless through facetime!” millie pouted, several of the other girls around you joining in on their demands to meet delilah.

“hey i’ve been ready to bring her to the last three england games.” you defended, your wife sending you a murderous side eye for throwing her under the bus as her friends and team mates continued to whine at her.

“oh you guys haven’t met her? what a shame!” you were once again lifted into a sweaty hug as a smug alessia twirled you around and placed back on your feet, ignoring the unimpressed protests that followed her remark.

“stop winding them up. i’m raising you to be a pleasant and humble individual young lady!” you smacked her on the arm with a warning look as the blonde only grinned and kissed your cheek before you were pulled in by tooney who continued the teasing that the two of them saw your daughter almost daily.

“not a single one of you are laying a finger on her until you’ve showered, changed and washed your hands at least twice!” mary shouted sternly above all the noise, several of the girls all racing off to the change rooms making you laugh at their obvious eagerness.

“now look what you’ve done. whipped them into a bloody frenzy!” mary grumbled as she hugged you from behind, placing a few lazy kisses to your jaw as you leant into her secure hold, wincing slightly as she adjusted her arms to sit higher.

“hey love you alright?” she was back in front of you in an instant, hand caressing your cheek with a concerned stare as you nodded. “my boobs are killing me, i got her to feed earlier but i need to pump soon.” you mumbled in annoyance at your least favourite part of motherhood, your constantly aching chest.

“well i’ll make sure to give them lots of love and extra special attention and kiss them better for you later tonight baby.” the keeper whispered in your ear with a cheeky grin, hand moving around you to harshly squeeze your bum before giving it a smack as your eyes widened and you pushed at her chest.

“hope you’re washing your hands twice too after that little show mother mary!” millie and rach grinned wiggling their eyebrows at the woman, eyes widening as she lunged at them, chasing them off the pitch and back into the tunnel.

~

“hi gorgeous.” your wife was the first to appear upstairs, followed closely by a handful of her teammates whom you’d assume the girl kept held hostage in the change rooms until she was ready to come up herself.

“she just woke up, look whose back lilah!” you cooed rocking the infant in your arms as mary beamed, tickling underneath her chin as your daughter reached out for her eagerly.

a resounding chorus of aw’s echoed as mary scooped her up and your daughter buried her face in her hoodie covered chest, mary attacking her with kisses on every inch of her body as you watched on with a smile.

“right! make an orderly queue please girls. and no pushing! yes mills i’m looking at you when i say that.” your wife ordered sternly, bouncing your daughter on her hip as her team mates hurried to line up for a hold, the entire ordeal making you laugh.

“ah no! you let them have their turns you both saw her yesterday.” you were quick to grab both ella and alessia as they rushed past you, yanking them down into the seats beside you and ignoring their protests.

eventually they both gave up and rested their heads on either one of your shoulders, the three of you chattering about your plans to take delilah to the zoo next weekend. yet another thing you’d sworn the pair to secrecy over not wanting to upset the rest of their team mates much as the two loved nothing more than to flex their godmother and favourite aunty status about.

mary caught your eye with a grin as she protectively watched over your daughter, shaking her head at your two adopted daughters sprawled across your sides.

but neither of you would change a thing, your perfect little family.

[charrlote365]

Forever Summer

Reference Idol: fromis_9 SONG HAYOUNG Word Count: 37.064

Tags: Mostly fluff , Kpop idol, fantasy, fromis_9, Song Hayoung

I fell asleep on the beach today, the sand felt like a comforting blanket. The sound of the waves and the gentle caress of the ocean breeze sent me into a deep slumber. In my dream, I saw her. Hayoung. She was as radiant as ever, her long hair shined like silk in the sunlight. She leaned in close, her fingers delicately stroking my face, and her sweet smile filled me with a warmth that I had missed for so long.

"Do you remember our promise?" she whispered, like a melody from our past.

I woke up abruptly, the dream dissipating like morning mist. The sky was a brilliant blue, and the sea sparkled under the midday sun, but a sense of sadness lingered. It had been years since I last saw Hayoung, and yet, she still visited my dreams as if no time had passed at all.

I sat up, brushing the sand off my clothes, and gazed out at the horizon. Life on Seonhae Island had a way of making time feel fluid, yet my memories of Hayoung remained vivid and unchanging. I loved her then, and I realized I still loved her now. But she was in Seoul, living a life that seemed impossible to reach.

After high school, Hayoung had moved to Seoul to pursue her dream of becoming an idol. She succeeded, of course. Her talent and determination made her a star, adored by flovers. I followed her career from afar, watching every performance and buying every album. Yet, despite the pride I felt, there was always an underlying sadness, a longing for the days when she was just a girl with dreams, sharing secrets with me under the big tree besides our school which now has been abandoned due to declining birth rates on the island.

At 28, I had settled into a routine on the island, working at my family's fishing business. The days were predictable, and while I found comfort in the familiarity within the island with all the residents, there was always a part of me that longed for something more, something that had gone long time ago along with Hayoung's departure.

One afternoon, as I was mending nets by the dock, my mother approached me with a smile that hinted she was up to something. “We have guests arriving today. I need you to help with the preparations.”

I was puzzled but didn’t question it. It was common for us to have family friends visit during the summer. I went doing my tasks, setting up the dining area and helping with the cooking. As evening fell, the doorbell rang, and my heart dropped when I saw who stepped through the door.

It was Hayoung.

She looked as radiant as ever, wearing a red dress that completed her graceful figure. The color suited her, making her look even more beautiful, if that was possible. There was a softness in her eyes that I remembered from our childhood. For a moment, time stood still. All the years melted away, and it felt like it was just the two of us again, as if she had never left.

Before I could say anything, she spotted our dog, Jjangi, who jumped towards her with excitement. Hayoung dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around Jjangi, her laughter filling the room.

"Jjangi! I missed you so much," she said, burying her face in his fur. Jjangi wagged his tail furiously, clearly just as happy to see her.

Watching her embracing Jjangi, I felt a surge of emotion. It was as if all the yearnings I had kept buried for years resurfaced in an instant. She looked so natural, so at home, and I realized just how much I had missed her.

“It’s been a long time,” she said, while hugging Jjangi. Her eyes met mine, her voice made my heart fluttered.

I could barely find my voice. “Hayoung… welcome home.”

As we sat down for dinner, our parents distributed the cutleries. Both families gathered around the table, the atmosphere filled with warmth and nostalgia. Midway through the meal, our parents began reminiscing about the past, laughing about our childhood antics. Suddenly, my mother mentioned, half-jokingly to me, "Do you remember once you said you're going to marry Hayoung?"

Hayoung's mother chimed in, "Ah! yes, yes! You even said it in front us! You two were so adorable together. It would be nice if that came true. Should we do it for real this time?"

The families laughed together, the sound filling the room with warmth. I laughed along, but a sense of panic stirred within me. Could they actually be serious? The thought of marrying Haying, is a dream I'd held for years, yet the talks about it seemed too sudden and overwhelming.

As if on cue, Hayoung's father added, "You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea if you two got married this summer. It’s the perfect opportunity since Hayoung is back for a while."

I glanced at Hayoung, worried that this sudden talk would burden her. She was still an idol, after all, with a demanding career. She didn't say anything, but I noticed her sneaking glances at me, trying to see my reaction.

Hayoung’s silence made me even more nervous, but she continued to steal secret looks at me, her expression was unreadable. The rest of the dinner continued with more light-hearted chatter, but the thought of our parents' suggestion lingered in the air, creating a mix of excitement and anxiety within me.

After dinner, Hayoung and her parents went home. As the night deepened, I found myself restless, looking up to ceiling of my room, replaying the events of the evening in my mind. I couldn't shake the memory of Hayoung's secretive glances and all the casual yet significant talk of marriage.

As I was closing my eyes, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Hayoung, accompanied by a selfie of her silly look.

"Hey you, jigeum mwohae?" she texted.

I smiled at her familiar, confident approach. Despite the years apart, she seemed just as comfortable as she always had.

"Not much, just thinking about how crazy tonight was," I replied.

"Yeah, our parents sure know how to make things interesting haha," she responded with a laughing emoji. "All the nostalgic talks tonight reminds me of how we were in high school. I think I was kinda tomboyish and silly back then."

I chuckled, instantly transported back to those wild days. "Oh, you're 1000% right! You still remember you once cold punched the bullies into the freezing pond at school during early winter since they were trying to take our money? It was so chaotic they all were sent to hospital afterwards"

Hayoung's laughter echoed through her texts. "Hahahahaha… someone had to keep things in order and interesting! And you were the one who got panicked and afraid that they might actually die from that."

"hahaha.. they looked so pathetic I thought they were really in danger. That's right, and without you probably they would still bully me until now" I said with a smile emote. "You always did whatever you think right to do."

We continued chatting, the conversation flowing as easily as it had years ago. It felt like no time had passed at all between us.

After a while, Hayoung sent another message. "Hey, are you free tomorrow? I was thinking of roaming around the neighborhood, kinda miss this place a lot, could you accompany me?"

My heart skipped a beat at the thought of spending time with her. "Of course, I'd love to. What time?"

"How about we meet at 10 AM by the old tree?"

"Sounds perfect. See you then."

As I put my phone down, I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. Tomorrow would be a revisit memories and perhaps the start of something new. With Hayoung back on the island, anything seemed possible.

The next day the sun rose with a soft, golden light filtering through the leaves, as if promising a perfect summer morning. I waited at the old big tree, anticipation stirring within me as I saw Hayoung approaching. She appeared from the path horizon, covered with beautiful white dress that seemed to shine in the morning sun. It was the type of dress I had always admired on her, the simplicity, yet elegance of it showing her natural beauty.

As she drew near, I couldn't help but smile. "You look amazing," I said, my voice genuine and warm.

A faint blush colored her cheeks as she smiled back. "Thank you," she replied, her eyes showed appreciation. "I thought you'd like it."

Her words sent a flutter through my heart, and for a moment, I struggled to find my composure. Hayoung had a way of effortlessly charming me, just as she always had.

The first place we ventured was into the forest, right behind our school, the air alive with the scent of pine and earth. There's nothing scary about the forest, we both knew everything about that place as if its our second home. As we searched for the flowers she loved, Hayoung's laughter echoed among the trees, filling me with a sense of joy and nostalgia. At one point, she suddenly handed me all the flowers we have gathered and turned to me with a playful grin.

"Race you to that hill!" she exclaimed, pointing ahead.

I grinned, unable to resist her infectious energy. "You're on!" I replied, taking off after her.

We ran through the forest, our laughter mingling with the rustling of leaves and the chirping of birds. The path opened up to a hill with a vast area of short grass, stretching out like a green carpet. The hill was quite high, offering a breathtaking overview of the entire island. The sea shimmered in the distance, and the rooftops of our small town were nestled among the trees below. Windmills scattered around, complimenting the whole look. The scenery was beautiful and romantic, a perfect backdrop for our day together.

As we reached the clearing, Hayoung suddenly stumbled and fell onto the soft grass. I rushed to her side, concerned.

"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching out a hand to help her up.

Hayoung looked up at me with a playful smile and instead of taking my hand, she pulled me down beside her. "I'm fine, sit here with me" she said, laughing. "Come on, let's just lay here and enjoy the view."

Reluctantly, I lay down next to her, the cold grass contrast to the warm sun. We lay there side by side, gazing up at the clear blue sky and the beautiful scenery of the island spread out before us.

"This is perfect," Hayoung murmured, her voice soft and content. "I missed this place so much."

I turned my head to look at her, my heart almost bursted with affection. "Yeah, and it's the best with you here."

We lay in comfortable silence for a while, feeling in the beauty of the moment. Then, Hayoung broke the quiet, her tone sound thoughtful. "You know, about our parents brought up that whole marriage proposal thing last night."

I felt a brief anxiety but kept my voice steady. "Yeah, they did. It was a bit of a surprise."

Hayoung turned her head to face me, her eyes serious yet kind. "Do you remember when you proposed to me in front of our parents? We were just kids."

A smile tugged at my lips as the memory resurfaced. "How could I forget? I even prepared with a bouquet of flowers I gathered from the forest."

She laughed softly, the sound blending with the gentle rustle of the grass. "You were so earnest about it, too. I remember thinking it was the most romantic thing ever."

"Do you remember," I began, turning my head to look at her, "how you ran away up here after I proposed to you in front of your parents?"

Hayoung laughed, the sound like a sweet echo of our past. "of course, I do. I got shy and embarrassed. I thought running away to this hill would help me to calm down."

"Then I chased after you," I continued, smiling at the memory. "And when I found you here, I proposed again. You then asked me what I could offer if you said yes."

Hayoung's eyes sparkled with amusement and nostalgia. "Yes, and since you're just a kid, you said you don't have money but you'd always love me and stay by my side."

I nodded, "And I meant every word. But you didn't answer right away. You asked for some time to think, but never actually replied."

Hayoung's expression grew thoughtful. "I was so young and didn't know what to say back then. But now, even after years later, I have proof of how true your words were."

"Do you still fulfill your promises?" she asked softly, her eyes staring mine.

"I do," I replied, my voice steady with conviction. "I always kept them. I've always loved you and stayed loyal to you, even when you were in Seoul. Everyone in town knows how much you mean to me. They always ask about you, and I always eager to tell how well you're doing in Seoul, keep supporting you from here and waiting for you to come back home is the best I could do."

Hayoung's eyes suddenly glistened with unshed tears, and she nodded. "I know. People in town kept telling me about it before I saw you this morning. I didn't know whether to believe them until now."

She took a deep breath, her gaze intense, holding her tears. "Oppa, propose to me again," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. This was the first time she addressed me that way. "Right here, with the flowers in your hand."

My heart pounded as I stood up, gathering a handful of the delicate wildflowers we collected together in the forest. I knelt down in front of her, the flowers trembling slightly in my grasp.

"Hayoung," I began, my voice filled with love and sincerity, "I've loved you since we were kids, and that love has only grown stronger over the years. I promised to always be by your side, to cherish and support you in everything you do, I kept that promise in the past, even now, and I will always be in future. Will you accept my love?"

Tears finally streamed down Hayoung's face as she looked at me, her smile radiant and full of joy. "Yes," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "Yes, I accept your love".

At that moment, an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness washed over me. It was as if that heavy burden I had carried for years had been lifted, replaced by a warmth that spread through my entire being. My heart swelled with love, and I felt an unbreakable connection between us, stronger than anything I had ever known. All the years of waiting, hoping, and remaining loyal to her had led to this perfect moment. My eyes started to blurred up by the tears of my own as I realized that she truly felt the same way.

My hands trembled slightly as I gently touched her face, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. I leaned in, and our lips met in a soft, tender kiss, filled with all the emotions we had kept inside for so long. It was gentle at first, an explorative kiss, but then it deepened, becoming more passionate as years of longing and love pouring out from our deepest heart. I felt Hayoung's hands slide up to my shoulders, her touch warm and reassuring.

The whole world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us in that moment. The kiss expressed all our promises, dreams, and a future we both wanted to build together. As we finally pulled back, breathless and with our foreheads resting against each other, the sun started to set behind us, casting a golden glow over the island and sealing our love in the beauty of that perfect summer evening.

"This better than I imagined," Hayoung whispered, her eyes looked deeply to me, a bright smile complimented her lips.

As the sun set behind us, Hayoung and I stood up, hand in hand, ready to head back to her house. The path down the hill was still clear, and we walked slowly, savoring every second of the moment. Our fingers interlaced, and I felt a deep sense of contentment and belonging.

As we made our way through the neighborhood, people began to notice us. Familiar faces turned toward us, and I saw smiles spreading across them. The older couples, who had known us since we were kids, nodded approvingly. The younger ones whispered excitedly to each other. It was as if the entire neighborhood had been waiting for this moment as much as we had.

One elderly lady, Mrs. Park, who used to be our homeroom teacher, clapped her hands together slowly and beamed at us. "It's about time, you two," she called out, raising her thumb up, giving approvals.

Hayoung and I exchanged a shy glance, both of us blushing slightly. Despite the embarrassment, we couldn't help but smile back at everyone. The atmosphere was filled with warmth and affection, making our happiness even felt real.

Hayoung giggled softly and squeezed my hand. "It's nice to see everyone so happy for us," she said, her voice filled with delight.

I nodded, feeling my heart filled with pride and love. "Yeah, it really is."

As we arrived at Hayoung's house, we noticed the absence of her parents' car in the driveway. The house was quiet and dark, just a single light on the porch. We exchanged a glance, realizing we were alone for the first time under the roof as a couple.

"Looks like my parents aren't home yet," Hayoung said, her voice tinged with a mixture of surprise and slight awkwardness.

"Yeah, I guess it's just us," I replied, feeling a tiny bit of nervousness.

We stepped inside, the familiar warmth of her home surrounding us. Hayoung closed the door behind us, and we sat down in the dining room for a moment, unsure of what to do next. The silence felt heavier than usual, filled with the unspoken tension.

"Um, do you want something to drink?" Hayoung offered, breaking the silence.

"S-Sure," I said, grateful for the distraction.

She walked into the kitchen, and I followed her, trying to act natural. As she poured us both some water, I couldn't help but notice how different everything felt. The playful ease we had shared all day seemed to have been replaced by a newfound shyness.

We sipped our water in silence, standing in the kitchen. I glanced at the clock and then back at Hayoung. "I should probably get going," I said, not wanting to think something inappropriate towards her.

Hayoung's face fell slightly, but she quickly masked it with a smile. "Oh, um, it would be nice if you at least stay for dinner. I mean, if you want to."

Her invitation made my heart race, but the nervousness got the better of me. "I.. Maybe another time?"

She nodded, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. "Yeah, sure. Another time."

I felt a pang of regret as I left her house, the door closing softly behind me after we waved a good bye. As I walked down the path towards home, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was making a mistake. Yet, just a few minutes later, my phone buzzed with a message from Hayoung and a selfie of her.

"Oppa, it's already late at night and I think you must be hungry, I don't want you to feel hungry so…I decided that I'll be your dinner tonight.. Please come back? 😊"

Her message, along with her nude selfie made me stop in my tracks. I took a deep breath, my heart pounding hard as I turned around and ran my way back to her house quickly.

When I knocked on the door, Hayoung opened it almost immediately, she was wearing nothing but a white apron. A raccoon-like smile was on her face. "Changed your mind, Oppa?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Yeah," I said, smiling back. "I think I'm just too hungry of you tonight."

As I said that, I moved towards her and started kissing her aggresively. I was eating her lips as if they're tuna sushi, making a big smooch sound for every breath, I gently bit her lips and suck them hard. Hayoung seemed to be affected by the whole atmosphere as she also started biting my tongue and pulled them inside her mouth. Our breath getting heavier and as our body curled in close together, I could see the lower part of her apron is now a bit wet from her love juice.

"Let's move to your room?", I asked, almost a whisper to her ear. "Y-yes, I think we should", Hanyang answered with an uncontrollable breath. She gripped my fingers softly, our fingers intertwined together in the warmth of the whole atmosphere and with that, Hanyang guided me to her room. Even though we had known each other for very long time, this would be my first time I got into her bed room. My heart's pounding harder by all the anticipations.

Hayoung opened the door, and we stepped inside, taking in the space. Her room was cozy and inviting, with a soft white paint on the walls and soft warm lights strung along walls. Photos and posters filled the walls, a mix of memories from her childhood and her journey as an idol. A bookshelf filled with books lined at one wall, and a comfy bed with a heap of pillows sat in the center.

Hayoung's smile widened, and she squeezed my hands gently. "I'm so happy now. It feels like everything is so perfect since ever we met again", She shyly said.

She turned her back to me, lifting her hair to reveal the delicate part of her nape. "Oppa," Hayoung said, breaking the silence. "Would you take off this apron for me?." while looking back at me with the soft look. I gulped, frozen for seconds while looking at her bare back and ass cheeks for the first time. I moved closer, my fingers trembling slightly as I untie the apron slowly from her back. The proximity was both thrilling and nerve-wracking, and I could feel the warmth radiating from her.

I couldn't stop myself from kissing her nape. Hayoung slightly raised her shoulder as she felt ticklish from the kiss. Her body smelled really nice, there's slight hint of flower, light perfume and… a hint of close to baby powder scent. My right hand started to travel to her breast, feeling them from behind.. I found it really sexy, my hand groped while my fingers started to pinch and teasing her nips. Hayoung didn't say anything, but she occasionally twitched and let out small moans and I found them so cute.

"Y-yaa.. why am I the one who's naked here?" she lamented while her hands started to get into my pants. "Eh?", she said half surprised, "Has it always been this big?". My little ego felt a slight jolt of happiness as she found my dick as what she favored. "No, it's not always that big, it got that big probably because of you?", I jokingly teased her. She let out a bright smile, she looked so cute yet sexy with those big breasts of her.

Hayoung then squatted down and started to remove my jeans, leaving me with just my shirt and boxer. She began stroking gently from the outer layer of my boxer, I got excited and some pre-cum started to wet my boxer and it leaked a bit to the surface. "Oh? What's this?", Hayoung wondering. "I-it's my love juice, got some out because I love you that much", I joked. Hayoung couldn't hold her laugh hearing my reply, she found it romantic yet naughty. She then started to smell them, putting her nose closer to the tip of my dick and she licked it slowly. She seemed to be enjoying the taste as she tried to put it inside her mouth. She bit my boxer and pulled them down, leaving my dick to be free, exposing it to the air.

She then looked closely to my erected dick with so much curiosity and that showed clearly from her racoon-like eyes. This must be something new to her as she's always tried to pretend like she doesn't like erotic stuffs. "They look so stiff, does it hurt? Should I slowly lick it?", she asked while looking at me to the eye. "No, not yet, you know right? Ladies first? Let me lick yours first". Hanyang face got redder. I pulled her hand gently and rested her on her bed. I spread wide her legs up to the air but she got shy so she tried to hide her pussy with both of her hands. Her eyes locked onto mine, she wanted to do it but all these new naughty things we did all of sudden made her scared a bit.

"It's okay, Hanyang, I'll do it gently, you trust me?", I said to calm her down. She nodded and let go of her hands from her pussy. I could see her pussy clearly as blue sky now. diamond shaped pubic hair, small labia and distinct pink colour inside her complimented the view of the most beautiful pussy I've ever seen in my life. Her pussy was wet and kept oozing some transparent, sticky liquid. I kissed her clits and started to suck them gently. I tried to put my finger into her hole but found out how short it was due to her hymen.

Realizing this, I just put my forefinger halfway, and bent them up, trying to rub the g-spot gently, building up the tense while kept sucking her clit. She began biting her finger, trying to hold her voice out, she kept looking at me with the face filled with ecstasy. She suddenly grabbed my hair and pushed it harder into her pussy as her body arching up, I grabbed her ass cheeks with my left hand to hold them up. Not long after, she finally let out big moan as her body twitched hard. I immediately knew she just come.

It's time to stick it in. I stood up and started to position myself into missionary to put my dick inside her. "Are we really doing this?", I asked her wondering if she's ready of what's going to happen next. She didn't say anything but a nod, signaling that she's ready to do it. I gently put my dick inside her, it was really tight and my dick tip reached her hymen. I slowly pushed them harder, and finally, it broke. Hanyang face mirrored a slight pain she felt as she grabbed my shoulder with her finger nails and scratched my back. It felt hurt but as she went the same thing, I didn't even dare to complain. A trail of blood started to stream down from her pussy and my dick was now completely inside her yet I didn't dare to move. I lowered my shoulder and we're now facing each other closely. "Are you okay?", I asked trying make sure that she's not hurting. "I-I am okay, just don't move yet", she answered.

With my hard rock dick still inside her, I felt the intimacy and comfort filled in the room. I could see every detail of Hayoung's face, the curve of her thick lips, the innocence in her eyes, the red blush on her cheeks. Everything looked so perfect the way it was.

"Do you remember the last time we were this close?" she asked, her voice a gentle whisper.

My eyes looked up, trying to remember if such thing existed. "Yeah, probably when we used to study together. We would sit together at my desk, facing each other as close as this".

She chuckled softly. "And you always found a way to distract us from studying."

"Wasn't that my job?" I teased. "To make sure you took breaks and enjoyed life a little?"

"Well, you were very good at it," she admitted, her eyes smiled. "And you still are. I don't even feel in pain anymore." I reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face, my fingers comfortably placed on her cheek.

"Hayoung," I said softly. "Should I begin to move?", confirming again that she didn't feel hurt. "Yes", she answered. With that, I began to move gently, ensuring that every move conveyed my true feelings to her, they weren't just lust, but sense of love, care, loyalty and responsibility.

Hanyang started to let out small moans, her expression started to show that she's enjoying it. "Oppa, It started to feel good, you can move faster now". I quickened my pace, creating slapping sound that echoed around the room. My eyes kept locked on her face, saving every memory of her expression in this intimate moment.

I moved gradually faster, the pace was blurring my sanity, I groped her breasts hard and Hayoung let out a loud moan. We kissed and ate out each other while retaining our hips pace. "Hanyang, I think I'm going to cum, let me do it outside", I declared with heavy breath as I could no longer hold it. "No, its okay, cum inside me, fill me with everything you've got. It's safe day, don't worry about it", she replied with uncontrollable voice.

She then suddenly folded her legs inwards, locking me in place, ensuring that I didn't pull out, pushing me even deeper that within seconds, I finally came. "Hanyangg!! I'm comingg!!", I shouted hard, releasing as much semen into her womb. Although I knew it's her safe day, deep inside I slightly hoped that she got pregnant.

Hayoung felt the burst of my semen inside her stomach. She slightly peeked down, my semen and the blood from her hymen seemed to mixed up, spilling out from her pussy. She then looked into my eyes and slightly nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "We finally did it."

"I love you, Hanyang" I whispered, the words coming straight from my heart.

"I love you too," she replied, her voice filled with sincerity and warmth. "More than words can express."

Our quiet, intimate moment was interrupted by the growl of our stomachs. We looked at each other and we both laughed, realizing we had skipped dinner in all the excitement.

"It's almost 10 PM," I said, glancing at the clock. "We should probably eat something."

Hayoung nodded, her eyes still teary. "Are you going to cook? I'm starving, but I could use a bath after today."

"Sure, I'll cook something up," I replied, feeling a bit more confident now. "You can go relax."

She gave me a grateful smile before heading to the bathroom. I made my way out of her room to the kitchen, determined to make something special for her. The sound of the rain tapping against the windows provided a soothing white noise as I worked.

Knowing how much Hayoung loved seafood, I decided to make a simple yet comforting dish, jjukkumi bokkeum (spicy stir-fried baby octopus) with a side of rice and some banchan (Korean side dishes). The aroma of spicy octopus, garlic, and sesame oil filled the kitchen, mingling with the sound of the rain. Once everything was ready, I plated the food and carefully carried it back to Hayoung's room.

When I arrived, Hayoung was just stepping out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fluffy towel. Her hair was damp, and she looked refreshed and beautiful. She smiled when she saw me with the food.

"That smells amazing," she said, her eyes lighting up.

"Well, I hope it tastes as good as it smells," I replied with a grin, setting the plates on her bedside table.

She changed into a comfortable dress and joined me on the bed. The rain continued to fall heavier outside, creating a cozy atmosphere. We ate together, exchanging smiles and gentle touches. At one point, I reached out and took a piece of chili on her cheeks, while brushing a strand of wet hair from her face.

"This is delicious!," Hayoung said. "I missed home cooked food like this."

"I'm glad you like it," I said, feeling a sense of pride.

As we finished our meal, the rain intensified, drumming steadily against the roof. It was clear that Hayoung's parents wouldn't be able to make it back home tonight, and I realized that I would probably be staying here too.

"Looks like I'm not going anywhere," I said, glancing at the rain-soaked window.

Hayoung looked at me with a shy smile. "I don't mind. In fact, I'd like it if you stayed."

I stood up, stretching a bit. "I should probably take a bath too," I said, feeling a bit self-conscious.

Hayoung shook her head, her smile mischievous. "No? You don't need though?," she said, her eyes were playful. "You always smell good."

I chuckled, feeling my cheeks warm. "My sweat smells good? Really? Well, okay, If you say so."

"I do," she insisted, tugging me back onto the bed. "Come, stay here with me in bed."

We settled back on the bed, the remnants of our meal pushed aside. The room felt even cozier with the sound of the rain enveloping us. I took her hand, and we lay back down, side by side, facing each other.

"Thank you for dinner," she whispered, her eyes locked onto mine, her smile brightened.

"And thank you for being here," I replied, squeezing her hand gently.

"You know," she said softly, "this feels like a dream. Like we're really living together, like husband and wife."

I smiled, my heart felt the warmth. "It does, doesn't it? I can't wait for the day I become your real husband."

She blushed, her eyes shining with happiness. "Me too. I've always imagined what it would be like to come home to you, to spend every evening like this."

Hayoung shifted closer, her head resting against my shoulder. "I love you," she whispered, her voice filled with honesty.

"I love you too," I replied, feeling a deep sense of contentment. I put my hand around her shoulder, pulling her closer under the warm blanket we shared. So many things had happened today, and every single moment felt like a dream. As I thought about it all, I realized Hayoung had already fallen asleep on my shoulder. We both fell asleep in each other's embrace, closing the never forgotten day in our whole life with each other's warmth.

Morning arrived, and I was gently woken by Hayoung’s soft voice. "Oppa, wake up," she whispered, her hand gently shaking my shoulder.

I opened my eyes, blinking away the remnants of sleep, and found myself staring into her smiling face. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen, and I felt relieved. This wasn’t a dream. It was real, and she was here with me.

“Good morning,” I said, my voice husky from sleep.

“Good morning,” she replied, her smile widening.

As we prepared to leave the room, Hayoung grabbed my arm, interlocking her arm with mine, making me feel like we were a real husband and wife sharing our first morning together. It was a simple gesture, but it filled me with warmth and happiness.

However, as we opened the door, we were greeted by the playful grins of both Hayoung’s parents and mine. They stood there, clearly amused, and it was clear evidence that they knew exactly what happened last night.

“Good morning, lovebirds!” Hayoung’s father said with a chuckle.

My mother added, “Hayoung-ah, due to the heavy rain last night, your parents stayed over at our house last night. When they checked the CCTV in the dining room from their phone, they saw you two. It was lovely to see how happy you both were. I bet both of you had the most amazing night yesterday”. She said while teasing us.

Both Hayoung and I blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. We were promptly led to the dining room where breakfast was already prepared by our parents.

As we settled down for breakfast, the teasing didn’t stop. “So,” Hayoung’s mother began, her eyes filled with mischief, “When are you two planning to get married?”

I nearly choked on my food, caught off guard by the directness of the question. I glanced at Hayoung, who met my eyes with a calm, reassuring smile.

“Well,” I began hesitantly, “We havent…”

Hayoung suddenly squeezed my thigh under the table. I looked at her in surprise, and she gave me a mischievous grin, nodding ever so subtly as if urging me to say the otherwise. It was a clear signal to me, a signal that said she was ready for us to make this decision together.

Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I continued, “We’ve decided to get engaged this summer,” I said, my voice steadier now.

Hearing this, our parents expressed their happiness and approvals. “Now that’s the news I want to hear!” my father exclaimed.

“We’re so happy for you both,” Hayoung’s mother added. “It’s going to be a perfect summer this year.”

.... I always loved Summer season. The season with a gentle warmth that seemed to embrace our island, our home. And now, it was the perfect season for our engagement party, a celebration in the eventful evening that brought together not just our families and friends, but the entire community that had watched us grow up together.

The venue was decorated with vibrant colors of summer, with strings of fairy lights twinkling overhead and tables filled with bouquets of flowers. A large banner proclaimed, "Congratulations Hayoung & Y/N!" in cheerful letters, celebrating the culmination of our long journey from childhood friends to soon-to-be official husband and wife.

During the party, the fromis_9 members joined in the celebrations wholeheartedly, mingling with guests, enjoying the food, and even participating in some of the traditional dances performed to celebrate the engagement. Their presence added the excitement and glamour to the event, turning it into a memorable occasion not just for Hayoung and me, but for everyone who attended.

The engagement ceremony itself was heartfelt and meaningful. Hayoung looked radiant in a traditional Korean hanbok, her smile lighting up as she stood beside me, wearing an outfit that felt like a perfect fit for the occasion. We exchanged rings, symbols of our commitment and love, amidst applause and happy tears from our loved ones.

During the event, there was a slideshow playing on a large screen, showcasing photos of us growing up together. From playful days in kindergarten to high school, the slideshow captured our journey through the years. It was a touching reminder of how far we had come and the unwavering support we had received from our families and community.

Among the guests, including friends and business partners from Seoul, where I would soon join Hayoung. It was decided that I would work at my parents' business branch there, ensuring that Seoul branch blooms into a bigger business.

As the evening deepens, Hayoung and I found a quiet moment together under the sky filled with stars. We looked around at the warm gathering of our friends and family, feeling overwhelmed with gratitude and love. This summer, which had started with a simple reunion, had become a season of a long awaited love fulfilled and new promises made.

Holding each other's hand gently, we knew that our journey together was just beginning, filled with endless possibilities and the unwavering support of those who had watched us grow from childhood friends to partners in both love and life, until death do us apart. -End.

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P40 | i see the end

You were trying so hard not to fidget, not to let your smile drop even though Xiaojun and Haechan were being really funny right now. At the back of your mind, you can just see Yoonsu coming closer and closer, wearing Junyoung's face only to distort it, to ruin it, and the memories of Junyoung you have only ever allowed yourself to keep.

Poor Junyoung, buried somewhere in an unmarked grave.

You practically jumped in your spot when a hand gripped on your shoulder. Mark flinched, standing just right by your side when you let out a sudden yelp at the contact. Both of you turned around, and you automatically let out a fake enthusiastic smile as you reluctantly let Yoonsu wrap his arms around you, pulling you into an embrace that lifted you off your feet.

He pushed you away so he can look at your face more closely.

"Junyoung! Oh, it's been so long. I'm glad you made it." You hoped your voice didn't sound too stiff, unconvincing, and terrified instead of happy.

Junyoung's face smiled back at you, but the glee he expressed through Junyoung's soulless eyes was venomous instead of genuine.

This was pure torture.

Yoonsu said he was doing you a favour, but you knew how aware he was in what he's doing with you. There was pure horror and repulsion in your eyes that made Yoonsu the happiest man on earth right now.

Mark looked between you and Yoonsu, wondering why your eyes didn't match your words. When Yoonsu finally let you down, sincerely in love with the way your hands almost desperately clawed at his chest to pull away from him. Mark's eyes didn't miss the way you pulled away from the embrace too—fingers curled at the front of his hoodie, nails attempting to dig in past the thick woven fabric and into his skin.

"Now who's this?" Ningning chirped, and you turned around back to them, the smile still carved into the corner of your lips, making the muscles in your cheeks ache.

"Everyone, meet Lee Junyoung. He was my senior at my highschool in Gangnam, and he helped me out a lot back then when I needed it."

"Hello, everyone. It's nice to see that Y/N actually has so many friends now." He mimicked Junyoung's signature smile that pushed his eyelids close, making the knot in your stomach twist inwards.

You wanted to kill him. With your own bare hands. You wanted to take a knife and carve his face, to pull Junyoung's face away from such a repulsive man.

"Where were you all this time then?" Yangyang spoke almost monotonely, face set straight.

Where were you when Y/N needed you while she was forced to work for a loanshark?

"I moved overseas 3 years ago, to the Philippines, because of my mother's job. I wished we never moved though." Yoonsu turned to you, giving you a meaningful look, eyes telling you all sorts of warning.

"It's okay, I never blamed you for leaving me. You're here now."

You felt like throwing up. You felt like Junyoung's ghost was pulling on your noose from behind, but when you glanced at it, the locket was still hanging off your neck like it usually did. It just felt so much tighter and heavier now.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

"Your friends are more annoying than I thought. The guy who asked me that question—that's Yangyang, right?" Yoonsu didn't even bother to glance at you, still inspecting the music themed accessories on the counter.

"I'll manage him. He's harmless, Yoonsu. Don't mind him." You quickly quipped out, and the palpable fear in your voice made him scoff.

He really loved how scared you were at the moment.

"You know, you should be thanking your stars that your godfathers are practically untouchable. Members of the Min clan—a prominent old money chaebol family—owe them a favour. They're powerful enough to crush me like I'm some sort of roach and flush my body down the toilet without getting caught. Do you know why they're so indebted to Geonwoo and Woojin?" Yoonsu turned to you, bending his body so his face was close to yours.

You shook your head. When you were still working for him, he once slapped you for having bad breath. Markhad let you finish his americano earlier, and you're not taking the risk of getting another slap from Yoonsu in public.

Yoonsu smirked at your meek behaviour and stood up straight again.

"Kim Myeonggil, who used to be a prominent loanshark, had humiliating blackmail material over a member of the Min clan. Thanks to Geonwoo and Woojin however, that blackmail was literally incinerated and Myeonggil is now behind bars—after getting his ass beat by Geonwoo."

You knew Geonwoo and Woojin had connections to the Min clan, but you didn't think it was because they did them a great favour. Yoonsu grasped your cheek, feeling your stone cold skin under his cold palm.

"Now, here you are, someone Geonwoo and Woojin care for, under my mercy for the blackmail I have over you. It'll be real poetic once I kill you. You're their karma, Y/Nnie."

oooooooooooooooooooooo

You entered your unit, startled to see your brother in the kitchen area together with Geonwoo and Woojin. They were cooking dinner altogether, and for a while you stood there at the doorway. Watching your family cook dinner in the kitchen, wearing silly aprons, working in tandem. Yuno always wondered what it would feel like to have older siblings above him that would take care of him just like how he takes care of you, and now his wish was fulfilled, in this short moment that will forever live on in your memories, seared into the back of your mind.

Geonwoo was washing the dishes while Yuno was following Woojin's orders on the steps to making the perfect eggroll. Yuno looked like he was enjoying himself.

Yoonsu will break this family apart. He swore he would, and you knew he always keeps his word.

When Geonwoo turned his head and saw you, you smiled. A genuine smile, for the first time in three days.

Yoonsu was going to kill you after ruining your life anyway, and let you reunite with Junyoung. What's the pain in enjoying this small moment of happiness as it is?

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : if my writing is all over the place here, please excuse it. im kinda high on sleep deprivation rn

oooooooooooooooooooooo

taglist [CLOSED]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @nominzn @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee

[shadowandlightt]

Of Nightmares and Memories /three/ Azriel x reader

Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut

Part One Part Two

The night of Calanmai came. You were buzzing with energy. You dressed in old clothes, and wrapped yourself in Lucien’s cloak, trying to hide your scent as best as possible. To anyone else out there, it would look like you belonged to the fox. That you were his and no one else’s. Which would also keep you safe from anyone creeping a little too close. 

“Stay with me, do you understand?” Lucien questioned. 

“I know, I know.”

The beat of the drums outside grows louder and louder. You could feel them in your soul, begging you to run out and join the fun. You ached with anticipation. You were going to leave this dreaded house and finally see your brother again. 

You just wanted to lay eyes on him and know that he was still in there somewhere, and wasn’t the monster everyone believed him to be. Certainly he was doing what he had to do to survive? Certainly your sweet caring brother was still in there, buried deep within? 

“Come, we don’t have much time,” Lucien said, leading you out of your rooms. 

You shiver against the cool night. Though you weren’t sure if it was the cold that was making you shiver, or the thought of seeing him again. You couldn’t tell him who you were, couldn’t allow him to realize you were still alive. 

He would destroy the spring court and with it any hopes of beating Amerantha at her own game. If Feyre could just admit that she was in love with Tamlin, which somehow you had a feeling she was slowly falling for the Lord of Spring, everything would change. Maybe you could go home again. 

You longed for home. Longed for Valaris, and the group of fae that you called family. You longed for Cassian and Mor constantly fighting and joking. You longed for Amren and her grumpy nature. And Azriel…your Az. The person who seemed to understand you more than anyone else in the world. You longed for him most of all.  He was so quiet and understanding, and so beautiful in every possible way. You wished you would have told him. But you were still just a child. 

You were still so young when Tamlin and his family took you. Barely even eighteen, but you aged slower somehow, so while you were of age, you barely looked sixteen. So small and young. So much of your life stripped away from you. 

You feel Rhys before you spot him. You feel the night rippling off of him, calling your own powers out to play. The headache slowly sets in at the base of your skull as you try to reign in your own shadows and darkness. 

He’s talking to Feyre, and for a moment you smile, because you could see them together in another life. Perhaps if she’d been born a Fae. Perhaps if Rhys needed to be the one to break Amerantha’s curse, and not Tamlin. Because you hated the idea of Tamlin getting to be happy with Feyre once this was all said and done. You hated the fact that she would live out her few good years with that beast. 

“What do we have here?” His silky voice questioned, violet eyes looking you over, “Already have a play thing, Lucien?” 

“Not quite,” I spoke up, daring him to recognize me from beneath the glamor.

you could feel his mental claws scratching against my shields, looking for a way in. He would not find one, of course. Having been trained to block him out since you were old enough to understand the concept.

His eyes narrowed at you, taking a step closer towards you. Meanwhile, Lucien hissed at you to stay put while he dragged Feyre back to the manor house, leaving you alone with Rhys. You ached to tell him, but you couldn’t. If you told him you’d be dead before the next moon rise. 

“Who are you?” 

You bite back the bile that rises in your throat, “Lucien’s…friend.”

“No, you aren’t.”

You only smirk and try to force your way into his head again, sweat starting to bead on your forehead. 

“If you were his friend, you wouldn’t be full of faebane.”

“Maybe I choose this.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” he tisks, “Poor little lamb, stuck in spring.”

“I’m far from a little lamb,” You hiss back, hating that you sound and feel weak. 

You are weak, in every way that matters now, you’re weak. And Rhys can’t do anything to help you. He can’t take you away from here, he can’t save you. Because he can’t even save himself. He’s stuck under Amerantha’s thumb, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. Your only hope is that poor human girl to actually fall in love with Tamlin. What a fate that would be. 

Lucien returns, dropping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. You had to do something, anything to try to let him know you were alive. That you were here. You were right there, just silently begging for him to notice you. So you did the only thing you could think of and flung out what little power you had left. You scratched down his mental shields, already feeling sweat beading on your forehead. 

At this point he’d turned his back, ready to move away from the boring conversation. But your little outburst caused him to spin back around and stalk towards you. You thought he might go for your throat, might kill you right there for daring to do anything to him but he didn’t. 

“I could kill you right where you stand,” He hisses at you, “Without breaking a sweat.”

“Ah, but you’d have to catch me first,” you struggle to say from the strain of the faebane, “I hear I’m like the wind.”

His eyes widen, hands reaching for you, before Lucien took hold of you and dragged you away. You were back in the manor house before you could even think. Lucien started to yell at you, drowning out the sound of the drums outside, which were growing louder and louder. The rite would start soon, Lucien would be needed.

“What did you say to him?” He demands. 

“Nothing, you heard me.”

“No, that meant something!” 

“Just something I used to say as a child,” You shake your head, “I’m going to bed. Have fun.”

You wave him off as you go. You felt heavy and tired. But somehow so invigorated. Your brother was still your brother, you knew that. Deep down he was still Rhys, and not the monster everyone believed him to be. Deep down, he was still there, just waiting to come back out like everyone else. 

That night you dreamt of your wings. Flying over Valaris with Rhys and your mother. Laughing with Cas and Az at the House of Wind. You dreamt about everything, and at the same time nothing. 

“I’m going to get you, little star!” Rhys laughed from behind you as you ran away from him. 

“You’ll have to catch me first!” You yell, jumping off of the ledge, “I’m like the wind!” 

The air catches your wings and pulls you along. You smile and giggle as you pivot to avoid Rhys again. The wind whips through your hair as you fly, you don’t bother trying to stop it. It only makes you laugh harder.  You feel so free as you fly higher and higher over the city. You wonder for a second if they can hear you laughing down in the Rainbow. 

You’d have to stop back down there today, you wanted to listen to the music some more. Maybe purchase a painting or two for your rooms. Maybe you could convince Cas or Az to come with you. 

Arms reach around you, causing you to shriek. Rhys’ laugh filled your ears and you relaxed into his arms. It was rare to have moments like this now. Your father kept him so busy, much to yours and your mother’s dismay. 

He pulls you in close and laughs as you nudge him with your elbow, “I love you, little star,” He whispers to you above the wind. 

“I love you too, Rhys.”

When you wake the following morning, you have tears in your eyes. Your pillow is wet with them. You do not get out of bed that day.

Tag List

@historygeekqueen @wallacewillow0773638 @sstrohma @saltedcofeesotch @hnyclover @thelov3lybookworm @queerqueenlynn

[yan-lorkai]

Hello can i request yandere alucard from Hellsing with a darling that is turkic/comes from turkey? Since alucard has bad pasts with the ottomen and i am kind of curious on how he will react when he finds out or hears his darling speaking turkic with a family/friend? would some words kind of trigger him? (I am kind of curios and im totally not requesting it because im from turkey/j 😗)

Please take you're time and remember to take of yourself ^_^

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ a/n: darling, be prepared to read the best fic of your life /j. No but really, I loved that request, it got my creativity juice flowing like a waterfall. This and my bestie is turkish, so I could pester him to tell me all sorts of things about Turkey :D

He adores his darling, of course — his obsession runs deeper than any grudge or lingering pain from his past. But when he first hears the familiar rhythm of Turkic words slipping from their lips, something in him stills.

He doesn’t say anything at first, his crimson eyes narrowing slightly as the sound of the language washes over him. Memories he thought buried claw their way to the surface: bloodied battlefields, a life of humiliation under the Ottomans, and the echo of commands in a language not unlike the one you now speak so casually. It’s a language he’s long associated with chains, suffering, and vengeance, and hearing it from you — you, his precious darling — sends a jolt through him.

Alucard doesn’t lash out. He’s far too composed for that, far too invested in you to let his rage take over. Instead, he watches. His grin remains in place, sharp and predatory, but his silence stretches uncomfortably long. You notice his change in demeanor, the way his usual dark humor seems to vanish, replaced by an intensity that makes the air feel heavier.

When he finally speaks, his voice is soft but carries an edge. "Where did you learn that tongue, darling?" he asks, his crimson gaze locking onto yours. There’s no anger in his tone, only curiosity laced with something darker, something unspoken.

If you explain your heritage or your connection to the language, Alucard’s reaction is subtle but telling. His grin widens, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "Ah, how fascinating," he drawls, leaning closer as if to study you. "The irony of fate, wouldn’t you agree? That someone like you would capture someone like me."

Though he continues to smile, there’s an unshakable tension in his presence whenever you speak Turkic. Certain words, the ones that remind him of commands he once obeyed or insults hurled at him, seem to trigger flickers of old rage. But he never directs that anger at you. Instead, it manifests in possessiveness, as if to prove to himself that you belong to him, not to the past that still haunts him.

If he ever hears you speaking Turkic with family or friends, his reaction is unpredictable. He might stand silently in the background, his grin unnervingly sharp, listening to every word. Later, he’ll question you, not out of distrust, but out of a need to reclaim control. "What were you discussing, my love? Should I be concerned? You wouldn’t keep secrets from me, would you?"

Over time, his obsession takes on a new layer. He starts speaking that language — not because he wants to, but because he refuses to let any part of you be a mystery to him. His accent sharp and deliberate, his words carrying a weight that makes your chest tighten. "I wonder," he says one day, his voice low and dangerous, "if they spoke to you in this tongue the way they once spoke to me. Tell me, darling, how does it feel to hear it from my lips instead?"

Though the language stirs his deepest wounds, his love for you twists that pain into something much more possessive and obsessive. You become his anchor, his way of reclaiming a part of himself he thought lost to the past. But make no mistake — he’ll never let you forget just how tightly his grip on you has become.

"You’re mine," he whispers one night, his crimson eyes burning as his lips brush against your ear. "Even if the ghosts of my past linger in your words, you’ll never escape me. Not now. Not ever."

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Unforgettable (first kiss)

Azriel x OC

Word count: +5500

Summary: Who would think that a family dinner could turn into a reunion with female from the bookstore? However, certain members of his family treat her poorly and she ends up running away. Azriel can't forget her though and wants to see her again

Warnings: some cursing, IC having some issues and behaving unpleasantly

@azrielappreciationweek Day 5: No need for poetry Kinda part 2 of Unforgivable (sins), but can be read separately Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Azriel landed on lawn near entrance of the River House. It was already dark, but night was warm and smelled of cool river that flew behind the house and sweet magnolia. The smell of roast meat and apple pie wafted from the open kitchen window, reminding him that he hadn't eaten from the morning, and mixed with the smell of coming summer.

Trying to look at least a bit presentable, he ran his fingers through thick dark hair, brushing it back. The shadows already informed him that there's an unknown face in the house. He was exhausted and not in mood to meet someone new, but he already promised he would come for the dinner and the game night his family had every Friday.

Sighing heavily, he slipped into the building like a ghost, unnoticed. Everyone seemed to be already gathered in the dinning room, sounds of conversation and laughter echoed in otherwise quiet house. A paper bag from his favourite bookstore left in the entrance hall immediately caught his attention. As a spymaster he couldn't help it and peeked in. The familiar covers of books he had read, aroused his interest. Azriel assumed that the bag had to belong to the guest because his family usually didn't leave their stuff by doors. This piqued his interest in the mysterious newcomer.

He checked his face in the mirror, correcting his posture and glamouring the dark circles under his eyes. If possible, he wanted to avoid any questions about his wellbeing or comments full of worry. He already felt like shit and didn't want to dwell on it. He suddenly noticed the absence of his usual companions who loved to inform him about any insignificant details. Looking down the hallway, he found them peeking into the dinning room, pushing each other to get a better view.

He just rolled his eyes and got ready for the welcoming and his least favourite part - introduction.

His long legs quietly carried him to the threshold of the room. Everyone was already seated around the big table that buckled under the delicious-looking dishes, undoubtedly the work of the middle Archeron sister who smiling sat next to her mate. Azriel frowned at the sight. Nobody told him that Lucien was invited, too.

Rhysand, sitting at the head of the table, noticed him as first.

"Ah, finally here," he greeted him with his usual cocky grin. "We've been waiting for you."

"You could have started without me," Azriel retorted and quickly walked over to the only empty seat. He hated to be in the center of attention.

"When did you return? I didn't hear you go to your room," Cassian bawled from the other side of table.

"I found what I looked for this morning, but I had work to do in Hewn City." He didn't need to add more details. His friends already knew what kind of job he did there. Azriel's insides twisted at the memory, but he buried that feeling deep inside where no one could see it.

"By the way, Helion thanks you for the help," he turned to Rhysand who only nodded.

"I'll write him later. How did it go?"

Before Azriel could say anything, Feyre sighed at Rhys' side. "Boys, could you forget about the work at least for a moment? We have a guest tonight."

"Sure, Feyre darling," Rhys smiled at her and caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry. We'll discuss the details later."

"Azriel, let me introduce you my friend from Rainbow and fellow artist, Blaire. She came from Autumn court not so long ago and currently, she's slowly settling in our city and her new life."

Azriel looked to his left, in the direction Feyre showed. To his shame, he was in such hurry to get rid of all the prying eyes that he hadn't noticed that the unknown female sat right beside him.

He tried to smile down at small female with long dark brown hair. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too, Azriel," she looked up at him with a shy but kind smile. He blinked in surprise. It was the same female he just met in the bookstore.

"Do you know each other?" Feyre's smile grew, noticing their surprised faces.

"Yes-.. Well, no," he mumbled.

"We met by chance in the bookstore today. I wasn't paying attention, tripped and bumped into him, yet he was so kind that he helped me gather the books that I dropped," Blaire explained. A lovely blush spread on her cheeks. "Again, I'm really sorry for that," she turned to him.

"No, it was my mistake. I was taking too much space in the aisle. I apologise."

"Interesting," Rhysand and Cassian said at the same time, watching the two of them with all-knowing grins.

Assholes, Azriel mouthed.

The shadows peeked from beneath the table, interested in the newcomer. Blaire noticed the movement and looked down. Azriel carefully watched her reaction, expecting her to freak out as most of people did when they found out the shadows could move on their own.

"Hey there," she whispered, eyeing them with interest. The shadows vibrated at the greeting and flew closer, curiously swirling around her, touching her arms, legs and hair. Blaire giggled, hiding it in her palm.

"My apologies," Azriel mumbled. "They are very curious beings and don't really respect personal space. Not even mine."

"It's okay," she answered, her fingers playing with cool tendrils.

Azriel's corners of the mouth twitched in a small genuine smile. Her reaction was refreshing. He finally relaxed into the chair, a bit stretching out his wings that he had held rigidly tugged to his back whole the time.

The dinner went smoothly, the light conversation over the meal was very pleasant and interesting. Azriel found himself listening carefully whenever someone asked something Blaire, eager to learn more about her. He'd like to blame it on an occupational disease, but it was just his natural interest in an attractive female.

He was so busy keeping an eye on her that he didn't even notice the cold glare Mor was sending their way all the evening. She didn't speak much nor ate, yet her glass needed to be refilled quite often.

After eating delicious meal everyone walked over to the sitting room were the conversation continued. However, it was Friday and as every Friday his friends took out their usual favourite games.

Bat boys sat down around small round table with cards and cheered by the females, they played as passionately and ruthlessly as only they could. Azriel got completely carried away by the game and his excessive competitiveness, and for a moment he forgot about everything that bothered him. He really enjoyed it.

After losing several times, Cassian grumbling gave the game up, wanting to play something he couldn't lose at. And so he took out the bottle.

The whole group gathered on sofas in front of the fireplace. This time everyone played. Well, almost everyone. Elain and Lucien moved to the corner of the room, quietly talking about something. Azriel watched them for a while, ire twisting his guts. He emptied his glass in one go.

"Easy," Rhysand whispered as he refilled his glass.

Azriel narrowed eyes at him. If he could, he would rather leave than to torture himself like this. When his gaze again moved to the couple, he couldn't see them anymore. Instead, Blaire with her soft smile sat opposite him, obscuring the view. In the heat of the game, he had almost forgotten she was there. She was quite quiet most of the time, looking rather shy, mostly talking only with Feyre. She didn't look like really wanting to play this kind of game, but Feyre had convinced her.

Cassian, seated next to his mate, spun the empty wine bottle and took a big gulp from his glass.

"Okay, guys, let's play," he growled, clapping his hands. This was his favourite game ever since Azriel knew him.

The bottle stopped, pointing to Mor who seemed to be already quite drunken, swaying from side to side even while sitting.

"Truth or dare?" Cassian grinned. Hot topics were his speciality and reason why he liked this game so much.

"Truth," Mor drank gulp of wine.

"Great! So.. are you dating someone now?"

Mor frowned at him, pouting. That was something she visibly didn't want to answer. For a moment, her eyes fell to Azriel sitting next to Cassian and something inside him stirred.

It wasn't so long since she finally told him that he had no chance with her as she prefered females. He accepted it more calmly than he actually felt and made peace with it. Though, it was hard get over the feelings and hopes he held on for so long. All the pain and longing that tortured him for centuries, was still there. A bit duller than months ago, but still too fresh. He wondered what was so bad about him, what he had done to be undeserving of love. Seeing so many happy couples around him, he wanted nothing more but to have someone who would accept his heart and return the feelings sincerely.

Holding breath, he looked down at his feet and emptied another glass. He didn't want to think about that now.

"I want dare then," Mor announced at last.

"So kiss Cassian," Amren barked before Cassian could open his mouth. Her silver eyes were at Nesta, cold and cruel.

Azriel in disbelief gaped at small female. His mate was literally sitting next to him, yet she dared Mor of all people to kiss him. By the murderous angry gazes two females were exchanging, Azriel could easily guess that they were again at each other's throat because of something that had happened while he was on the mission.

Blaire was eyeing them all in confusion. He felt sorry for her. This definitely wasn't the best first impression. He wouldn't be surprised if she never accepted invitation to dinner again. Feyre seemed to be of the very same opinion. She excused herself and went to the kitchen to prepare desserts, glaring at those four fools.

"Fine," Mor stood up on unsteady legs.

Cassian obviously hadn't noticed the mood in the room and grinning jumped up. Azriel turned away, not wanting to witness the kiss, neither Nesta's reaction. Despite everything, he liked Nesta. She earned his respect and he considered her his good friend. This was a real blow below the belt that she didn't deserve.

Next, Mor spun the bottle. Azriel watched it, his jaw clenched. He wished that the bottle fell off the table and broke into pieces to end this stupid game. Instead, it stopped, pointing to Blaire who nervously winced.

Mor raised a brow at her.

"Truth or dare?" Cassian asked excitedly. He was apparently the only one enjoying this.

"Well," she cleared her throat shyly. "The truth."

Mor grinned drunkenly. The shiver ran down Azriel's spine at the sight, already sensing some really unpleasant question coming.

"How many males have you slept with?"

Azriel froze on the spot. That really wasn't question for a female who just flet from Autumn Court and from the ridiculous rules she had to follow her entire life, and they all knew it very well, including Morrigan.

Blaire paled and then blushed, her soft green eyes wide open.

"You don't have to answer, dear," Rhysand assured her gently. "We all know that giving such questions to guests is inappropriate, right?" He turned his violet gaze to his cousin, the anger radiating from him. Even though he was quiet ever since the game had started, Azriel felt his cold rage rising like a tide with every minute.

"Oh, Rhys, don't spoil the game," Cassian sighed. "You can choose dare instead." He winked at fiercely blushing Blaire. She hesitantly nodded.

Morrigan gritted her teeth. Her drunken gaze jumped from Blaire to Azriel who couldn't take his eyes off of the female, ready to protect her if necessary.

"Kiss him," she pointed at Azriel.

Azriel's eyes shot to his ex long-term love interest in disbelief. It was as eyes-opening situation as a punch to the guts and he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed sooner what kind of person she was in real. How could he fall in love with someone so cruel who played with people and their feelings like with chess pieces? It shocked him so much that he hardly heard when Blaire excused herself and went looking for toilet.

Rhysand waited until she left out of earshot. "What. The. Fuck. Is wrong with all of you today?!"

The room fell silent, no one dared to even breath.

"She's Feyre's friend. What does she think about us now? Did you listen when Feyre warned you that she's from Autumn Court? That she had to run away from her home, so she could start to live anew and on her own terms? That girl has serious trauma. And you?! You really disappointed me today."

"You are right, Rhys," Cassian mumbled, scratching his beard. "Playing this game was really stupid idea. I'm sorry."

"Don't expect me to apologise. I have nothing to be sorry for," Morrigan grunted.

Azriel saw red for a second. He had enough for tonight. "Unbelievable," he growled. "I'm off."

With that he stood up and before anyone could say a word, he left.

Blaire was on verge of crying. She needed time to breath it out.

She really loved Feyre and was so grateful for everything she had done for her ever since Blaire came to this Court. When Feyre invited her to the dinner at her house to meet her family, Blaire was hesitant at first. However, sitting at the table she was glad she accepted the invitation. The dinner was delicious and Feyre's family seemed to be so nice and kind.

When the mysterious and handsome male who was so kind to her at bookstore, appeared on threshold.. well.. She was really excited. He was gloomy and looked kind of dangerous, but he radiated a strange aura of calm and peace that attracted her. He hadn't spoken much during the dinner, but she felt good sitting beside him.

The game evening hadn't started so bad too. It was kind of exciting to watch three males play cards. They were so serious about it that it was funny. Azriel seemed to completely relax during the game and she could secretly watch him. He was so interesting person. She already thought so when they briefly talked in the bookstore and now even more after getting to know him little better.

However, when they started to play the other game, they all changed all of sudden. Kissing male who was mated, was quite unthinkable for Blaire, as well as accepting such kiss. At that moment she wasn't sure what to think about them.

And when they asked her that question.. It was really uncomfortable and she felt as if she did something bad and somehow offended the blonde. The kiss dare was the last straw and she needed to leave.

Blaire was walking down the hallway, completely lost. Feyre showed her direction to the toilet when she arrived, but she was upset now and must have mistaken somewhere along the way. She turned the corner and got yet to another hallway with several doors. She wasn't sure what to do, so she tried the first doors on the left.

The room was dark, but she could make out an outlines of a large bed. She panicked and was about to again close the doors when she noticed shelves full of books. She hesitated. At last, she decided that it couldn't hurt if she took a look. She turned on lamp in the corner of the room and closed the doors.

The room faintly smelled of cedar and night-chilled mist. It was quite pleasant and calming scent. Her eyes wandered over the countless spines of the books, until she found one that caught her attention. It was the book she had bought earlier and now it was waiting for her in the bag at foyer. She couldn't resist and started reading.

She was so immersed in the story that she didn't hear the doors opened and closed.

"That one is good."

Blaire was startled, almost dropping the book. She pivoted and was met with piercing hazel eyes that in the soft light of the lamp looked golden-brown, like warm honey.

"I-I'm sorry.. I was looking for toilet.." she stuttered.

"And instead you found my room," Azriel smirked and one lovely dimple appeared. "What do you say to that?"

She gaped at him in terror. He was so tall that it was intimidating. He was leaning against the frame of door, hands crossed on his broad chest, a few dark strands falling to his eyes. His expression was unreadable.

When she didn't answer, he nodded to the book in her hands. "Do you like it?"

Ashamed she looked down at the book and then back up at him. "Y-yes, it's interesting."

Azriel just smiled and stepped closer. The smell of cedar and night-chilled mist became stronger. Blaire inhaled deeply, completely enchanted. He was too handsome and charming.

Head slightly tilted to the side, Azriel watched her carefully, searching her face. An enormous wings behind him rustled softly. His chest was heaving with quick breaths, full lips lightly parted.

Something cold brushed against her back and hands, snapping her out of the trance. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone inside and touched your things. It was really rude of me."

"I don't mind," he chuckled.

His long fingers wrapped around the book, gently touching hers. When she didn't pull away, they travelled to her wrist, thumbs drawing circles over her pulse points. Holding her gaze, he slowly bent down. His hot breath fanned over her face.

Gods, he was so handsome. Blaire's heart was hammering in her chest, her body shivering with pleasure. Combination of his look and personality should be illegal. She was drawn to him like a flower to the sun. At this moment, she would gladly allow him to do to her whatever he wanted. Just him standing so close to her, touching her hands, made her feel more alive than ever. The enchantment changed into sweet pain that grew between her thighs.

"Are we still playing?" he asked with lips mere inches from hers, his voice hoarse.

Blaire blinked once, then twice. She suddenly sobered up. Realizing how much she was leaning into him, pushing him to the wall, she blushed. As if it wasn't enough that she invaded his private bedroom and touched his stuff.

"I'm so sorry," ashamed she ran away, leaving heaving Azriel with book in hand behind.

Blaire seemed to leave the house in haste that night. He didn't know whether she told her something, but when Feyre learnt how Morrigan treated her friend, she was mad. Azriel hoped she would mention her friend or try to bring her over one more time. Though, after what had happened last time, she most likely wouldn't come again.

Azriel couldn't forget that short moment in his room that he shared with Blaire. He was so close to kissing her. Her sweet scent lingered in his bedroom for days and he stayed there until it completely faded away. Then he returned to the House of Wind instantly feeling sorry for his choice. After the game night, everything was messed up and atmosphere in the House was suffocating at best.

Week passed without Blaire's name being mentioned again. Azriel grew restless. He still could feel her soft skin and rapid pulse. And those eyes and smile. He wanted to see her again even if only to apologise for scaring her away. That night he really hoped he could at least kiss her and ask her out. After all, mentioning that stupid game was bad idea. Maybe if he didn't, she wouldn't run from him and things would be different now.

She seemed to be attracted to him, too. No doubt there was a spark between them. He clearly felt it. He needed to meet her again to find out whether the spark could become a flame.

After thinking it over and over again, he decided to visit Feyre in her studio.

It was nice, sunny day and Rainbow was just as vivid as always. A pleasant melody flowed through the street, artists pulled out their easels and painted on the street. The sounds of laughter could be heard from everywhere, children ran among the people on a walk.

Azriel landed in front of Feyre's studio and after looking around for a while, he entered. She immediately looked up from her newest project and smiled.

"Oh, it's you. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I suppose," he mumbled, not sure how to turn the conversation to the reason of his visit. He had prepared a speech, imagining the whole situation, but now when he was standing in front of her, it didn't seem to be such a brilliant idea as he originally thought. He felt awkward.

"Hmm, Az, I meant to say this sooner," Feyre put down the brush and wiping her hands, she fully turned to him. "I want to thank you for.. the way you treated Blaire before. You were probably the only one who bothered to behave normally and she said that she is glad she could meet you. She seems to like especially the chat about books, you two had, even though I'm not sure when it happened."

Azriel was stunned. Blaire really mentioned him? He'd like to know what exactly she said about him.

"Uhm, that was nothing," he shrugged. "I'm glad I met her, too.."

He felt the heat slowly spreading to his cheeks and turned around, pretending that he admired the paintings on the wall.

Feyre watched him with a small smile. "You like her, right? I noticed it during the dinner."

Azriel froze on the spot.

"No.. What?! I mean, yeah.. No!" he babbled, blushing more and more. He bit on his tongue and took a deep breath. When he calmed down he tried it again. "What I mean is that she is quite interesting and I'd like to talk to her again if I had the chance."

"I see," Feyre chuckled. "You seem to be a bit flustered today. Maybe a cup of tea in some nice cafe would make you feel better."

Azriel pivoted, brows raised. When he saw her expression, he understood.

"Maybe I should give it a try," he smirked. He bid her a goodbye and went out, blending in with the crowd on the street.

There was one lovely cafe at the opposite end of the street. It was in a quite quiet neighbourhood and one of the places Azriel liked to visit from time to time.

As soon as he opened the door, staff greeted him with smile and immediately prepared the tea he usually drank there. He took the cup and looked around. The inside of the cafe was spacious and cosy with tables set far enough apart that he didn't have to pay attention when walking between them. As usual, there were some customers, but it wasn't crowded. One of many reasons he liked this shop.

In the opposite corner he spotted the person he was looking for. Without hesitation he headed to her table.

Blaire was seated on chair facing the window, immersed in the book he recognised right away. The steam rose from the cup placed on the table in front of her, sweet scent of fruit tea surrounding her.

"We meet again," he murmured with genuine smile.

Her green eyes shot up to him, surprised.

"I- Nice to see you again," she blushed and made space for him.

He sat down, noting her progress with the book. "Have you already gotten to the part where he finally tells her the truth?"

She shook her head. "What kind of truth is it?"

"I won't spoil the surprise," he snorted.

"How cruel of you," she sipped from her cup of tea, hiding the blush in steam.

"I hoped to see you again," he watched her carefully. "I wanted to apologise."

"It's strange," she bit on her bottom lip. "I wanted to apologise to you, too. You know.. For invading your privacy and.." She hid her face behind the veil of her long hair.

Azriel reached out and taking her chin between fingers made her look at him. He wanted to see her face properly. "Don't. I quite liked that part."

Her eyes widened.

"Ever since I met you, I can't get you out of my head, Blaire," he purred lowly, watching with pleasure as she shivered and closed her eyes when he said her name. That was exactly the reaction he hoped for. He licked his lips. "There's a place I'd like to show you. Would you go with me?"

She considered his offer for a moment and then nodded. He helped her put her things to the bag and holding her hand led her from the shop. As soon as the narrow alley widened into a street, he picked her up and dashed to the sky.

Blaire couldn't believe what just happened.

After her shameful behaviour and run from his room, she was convinced that Azriel didn't want to even hear about her again. The day she came to terms with the thought that she would probably never meet him again, he appeared in her favourite cafe and came to her table. It was unbelievable.

Hearing him utter her name for the first time in the deep voice of his shattered her soul into pieces, and her heart melted into a puddle. She had no reason to believe him, they basically spoke only very briefly, but she knew he wouldn't hurt her. He wasn't like males of Autumn Court. He didn't treat her like a nuisance, like someone inferior. His calm and quiet nature was like a balm, the promise of peace. That was why she agreed to go with him so easily.

Flying with him was another exciting experience. Despite of keeping her so close, he carried her with respect. He wasn't trying to touch her in any inappropriate way, yet he held her firmly all the time. Being scared of heights, Blaire spent most of it with her face buried in his shoulder. However, his comments on the changing surrounding were too tempting and she dared to look down once or twice.

When they landed he put her down, steadying her until he was sure that she could stand on her own. Blaire looked around. They were in the middle of a forest, no living creature and no buildings in the sight. She swallowed hard, starting to doubt her decision.

Azriel just chuckled, walking down the path. "This way."

She followed him, biting on her bottom lip nervously. "Where are you taking me to?"

"You'll see soon." He seemed to be in quite a good mood. He even started to hum some nice melody lowly.

They walked for few minutes when the trees finally parted and they found themselves on the shore of a mountain lake, surrounded by tall trees and high mountains. A gentle breeze lightly caressed the surface of the otherwise calm lake, creating small waves. The sky above them was clear, the most most beautiful shade of blue with a few fluffy clouds flying high above their heads. The fresh air filled Blaire's lungs while the singing of the birds and rustling of leaves in the treetops caressed her senses.

And in the middle of that stood Azriel with his wings slightly stretched out, tall, powerful and unearthly beautiful. The light breeze was playing with strands of his dark hair and hem of his T-shirt. His face was calm and posture relaxed, his eyes shone like liquid gold. The shadows that followed him on every step, were dancing around his ankles, calling her closer.

Blaire wished she had paper and pencil with her to capture this unique moment.

"Here we are," Azriel smiled brightly. "This is my favourite place. When I feel bad and need to think about things in peace, I like to come here." He looked at her out of the corner of the eye, waiting for her reaction.

However, Blaire was stunned, completely speechless. She could only stand there, admiring the view. Her eyes lingered on small details, committing them to the memory, so she would be able to draw this later.

"You don't like it?" he hid his face, turning away.

Blaire opened mouth, looking for the right words and her lost voice. "I love it. It's so.. perfect."

Azriel breathed out in relief and walking to the lake, he took off his shirt and then even shoes and trousers.

Blaire knew that she shouldn't gaze at him, but she couldn't take her eyes off of him. His body was a masterpiece, showing off even the muscles she didn't know that existed. Dark lines of tattoos swirled around his shoulders, curling across his chest and back, creating complex patterns. She wondered what's the meaning of them.

Meanwhile Azriel plunged into the water and began swimming toward the middle of the lake.

"Why don't you join me?" he called back. "Water isn't so cold. It's refreshing."

Blaire blushed, wrapping arms around her chest.

"I-I don't have a swimwear with me," she called.

Azriel stopped and turned to her, thinking. "You can use my T-shirt if you want. I won't look, I promise."

Blaire looked down at clothes he left on the grass. To be honest, she wanted to swim with him even though she wasn't a good swimmer. It took her only a moment to decide.

"Fine, so.. don't look, please."

He smiled and turned his back to her. She picked up his T-shirt and quickly changed. There were cuts on the back for his wings and overall it was so big that it looked like a dress on her, falling all the way down to her knees.

"Done," she called shyly.

Azriel again turned to her, swimming closer. His eyes little darkened as he took her form in.

"It suits you better than me. You should keep it," one corner of his mouth stretched into one-sided smile. "Come."

Blaire carefully stepped into water and slightly trembled when cool liquid licked her ankles. "It's a bit cold."

"Only at the beginning. Once you dip in and start to move, it's fine."

Slowly she swam closer to him, hardly holding her head above surface.

"I'm not good swimmer," she admitted, when he grabbed her elbows, helping her.

"It's easy. Try to lay down on the water. I'm here, no worry."

Hesitantly, she did as he said, his big warm palms under her back and thighs.

"That's it. And now relax and let yourself be carried away."

"How?"

"Don't think about it much. Just.. let it happen."

Blaire took deep breath and relaxed, clearing her mind. Before she knew it, she was floating in the water.

"See? Easy," Azriel smiled, gently caressing her cheek.

Blaire opened eyes just to find him holding both hands up. She panicked and dipped below the surface for a moment.

"Carefully," he again grabbed her elbows, pulling her closer.

They gazed at each other, their bodies slightly touching under the water.

"Thank you," Blaire breathed out, mesmerized by his dimly shining eyes.

"I did nothing," his cheeks turned pink, his gaze switching between her eyes and mouth.

Hesitantly he pulled her even closer and she welcomed it. Their chests were brushing with every breath, the wet thin fabric creating no barrier between them. Blaire rested her hands on his shoulders, lightly holding on him and his warm palms slid down to her hips. Now there was only an inch between their lips, the tension growing.

"If you don't want it, say something or I.."

"Kiss me already," she whispered out of breath.

His plush lips crashed into hers. Azriel stayed like that for a single heartbeat and then with a small moan he started to move. His kiss was sweet and gentle, but Blaire didn't want him to be gentle. Entwining fingers with his silky dark strands, she lightly pulled on them. A growl vibrated through his chest and he submitted, deepening the kiss. He tugged her to his strong chest and she moaned when their hard and soft parts met. The moment her lips parted, he lashed forward. His tongue slipped into her mouth, exploring and caressing. He kissed her hungrily, his hands sliding up and down her body, caressing and squeezing.

She didn't notice that she was unknowingly pushing him under the water, but he didn't seem to mind it at slightest, not until they both ran out of air. Heaving they emerged, splashing the water all around.

"That.. was interesting," Azriel panted.

"Yeah, very," Blaire agreed still out of breath.

"But maybe it would be better without the water next time."

"Definitely," she agreed and they started to laugh.

[xhoneygirlxx]

Fool For You

Dad!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

summary: Life as a single dad but life is about to get way harder when Steve falls for his son's teacher.

warnings: fluff. slight angst: mentions of steve's childhood. steve is sad over his son's first day of school. No pronouns are used for reader but they're described to wearing fem clothing. Steve compares reader to Miss Honey from Matilda. Readers skin tone/ethnicity is not mentioned. fic is set in 91 (let's pretend Matilda had already come out by then). meet cute. mentions of being a single parent. Steve's son is named Danny. ending is rushed lmao lets pretend it's not. bad writing/grammar errors. Not proofread!! 18+ plus only, MDNI

*If I missed anything lmk!

a/n: Awe my beautiful lovies!!! we are halfway done with my wonderful birthday week :( I just want to thank each and every one of you for supporting me and showing me nonstop love. I love each and everyone of you so dearly!!!! I also wanna apologize for the late upload! I hope you guys can forgive me!

Maybe I’m crazy, but it’s hard to ignore you

And I can’t wrap my head around it, but it feels

Oh, like I loved you before.

Being back in the hallways of Hawkins Elementary felt odd. Everything has stayed the same since the last time Steve went there, the paint of the walls, the decorations, even the smell was all the same. It smelled like a chilly autumn morning and books, innocence and childhood - a smell he didn't even realize he missed so much until he entered the building.

The cinder block lined walls hold memories, locking them in place until the end of time. Now his son's will be there along with them, a new generation of the Harrington family ready to leave their mark.

Walking hand and hand with Danny, Steve feels every single emotion any parent would on their child's first day. It's bittersweet, stinging him right through the heart with sadness and patching itself up with a sense of excitement. Danny on the other hand is a ball of energy, bouncing with every step he takes, like he always does.

The small boy is nothing but big smiles, eyes darting everywhere as he takes in the new environment. His Ninja Turtle backpack is comically bigger than him, flopping off of the backs of his knees with every step he takes.

As he looks down at his son, who looks just like him at that age, a big rush of adoration falls onto the older man. Over the short five years that Steve became a dad, he's learned that you can fall in love with your baby all over again just like the first time you held them. Steve is always amazed by Danny and the amount of love that runs through his veins for the small boy, but sometimes you need a little refresher like right now.

"You excited to meet your new teacher, Danny?" Steve swings the small boys arm causing him to giggle.

Nodding his chestnut hair, he looks up at his father with wide eyes. "M'cited dad."

"You gonna make lots of friends?" Steve isn't sure if this question is appropriate but a part of him worries about his son's ability to make new friends, since Steve is the only one out of his friends that has a child.

"I fink so but they hav' to like tourtles." Danny isn't really bothered by the question too much, not when he's too focused on the bright decorations that stick all over the walls.

"Turtles, Dan." It comes out in a chuckle. Even though Steve always corrects his son on the word, he's still a sucker for the way he says it.

Making it to the end of the hall, they stop at the wooden door with the numbers 206 written over them. The memory of Steve's kindergarten years creep into his mind as they stand there, flashbacks of him holding his mom's hand as wet tears streamed down his face. He wonders if his mother remembers that or if she buried that in the back of her mind like everything else in his life.

Pulling himself out of his head, Steve knocks on the closed door and scoots back just a little to leave room for it to open. Crouching down to his son's level, he runs a nervous hand through his hair, fixing whatever pieces didn't stay down.

"Daddy, you're gonna mess it up." Danny pouts, lightly stomping his converse clad foot on the vinyl flooring.

Pulling his hand back, Steve realizes he's using his son for his anxious habits. "You're right, m'sorry. You gonna be okay?"

Danny rolls his eyes in a sassy way, the way that always makes Steve laugh. "Yesss dad."

Wow, his son is really his carbon copy.

The sound of the heavy door opening pulls both of their attention, Steve immediately springing up from his position wiping his clammy hands down his shirt.

Steve steels himself for who he's about to meet, releasing a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding. Now, Steve expected to see a middle aged woman, maybe even older. He pictured someone with a grandma type energy, sweet and welcoming. What he didn't expect was you.

Standing there in the doorway with the bright light of your classroom falling around you in a halo. A pretty floral dress hangs from your body, cinching your body just right without being too inappropriate. Your cheeks are puffed up as you smile brightly, eyes crinkled at the sides as you do.

You seem about the same age as Steve, no older than twenty five. Glasses sit on the top of your head, pushing back the front of your hair. In a way you remind him of Miss Honey, not looks wise but your aura. You're so fucking pretty and he doesn't think he'll be able to formulate a sentence.

"Let me guess," You stand with a hand on your hip, pretending to think hard, "You must be Mr. Daniel Harrington."

The little boy in question beams up at you, bouncing on his toes as he clutches his excited hands around the straps of his backpack.

"My dad calls me Danny." The lisp that he has is very noticeable when he says it. Steve can tell you want to coo so badly over the small boy, the flexing of your fingers not going unnoticed.

Crouching down to his level, you reach out a hand to Danny for a handshake. "What a pleasure to meet you Danny."

Placing his hand into yours, he shakes it in a jerky manner. His missing bottom tooth shows off with the way he smiles at you. Pulling your hand away, you stand up straight still looking at the small child.

"Danny whenever you're ready you can head right inside and find the cubby with your name on it!" Your voice is like the sun, bright and chipper.

Craning his next up to his dad, he waits for his dad's permission even though his body trembles with anticipation. Steve on the other hand doesn't want to let him go, not ready to detach himself from his baby he spent five years with.

Kneeling down, Steve wraps his son in one last hug. The sting of unshed tears hits his nose first, the lump that sits in the back of his throat waits patiently for the dam to break.

"Okay dad, I have to go!" The small boy giggles, not understanding the gravity of the situation. To him he thinks his dad is just being silly, not realizing that his dad's heart is breaking.

Reluctantly Steve pulls away, trying to remember the look on his son's face. His own flesh and blood, the boy he's worked so hard to raise by himself, and God is his heart full.

"Alright little man, go head inside." Tapping a heavy hand to the boy's head, he watches him duck into the classroom.

Popping back to his standing position, Steve tries his hardest to blink the tears away. You still stand there, observing the classroom behind your shoulder.

"Oh, Mr. Harrington," You call out before he can leave and he's quick to interrupt you.

"Please, call me Steve. I feel like I'm too young to be Mr. Harrington." He half chuckles, ignoring the skip of his heart when he makes eye contact with you.

"Steve," You correct, a bashful smile on your face, "I wanted to ask if you would be the only person to pick him up or if your wife would also be included in pick ups and drop offs."

"Oh, no I'm not- his mom isn't." Lifting a hand to scratch at the back of his neck, he thinks of the best way to say it.

"Danny's mom isn't around, so it'll be just me on pick up and drop off duties. Possibly his aunt Robin but I'd let you know beforehand." A tight smile forms on his face.

"Oh I am so sorry, I shouldn't have assumed." You rush to apologize but you're quickly interrupted with the shake of his head.

"It's okay, you didn't know." He reassures and you visibly relax.

You're just as nervous as he is and he wonders if it's because you feel the same spark he does. Or maybe he's thinking too much into it. Either way, he'd like to think it's the latter.

"Well I'm very excited to teach Danny this year, he seems like a great kid." Although liking kids is part of your job, it sounds sincere coming out of your mouth and not rehearsed.

A coy smile breaks out on the older man's face, rose tint pours onto the rounded apples of his cheeks. "Y-yeah, he's a good kid. He can be shy sometimes but he loves to be around people."

Nodding your head, you sneak another peak behind you to check on the boy. "That's okay, I'm shy too."

When you turn to face Steve again, your lip is tucking behind your teeth. You're so fucking cute it makes him forget just how sad he was to drop off his own son and he doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing.

A long pause settles between the two of you, eyes becoming too bashful to meet. Steve kicks his foot at the hard floor, hands tucked into the pocket of his jeans.

"Well Steve, it was so nice to meet you but I have to get back in there." You sigh hiking a thumb over your shoulder.

Steve feels like someone just popped him like a balloon, the small amount of joy he's felt just by talking to you has now been taken away. Meeting you with a tight lipped smile, he nods understandingly.

After bidding your farewells, Steve thinks about you. He wishes he wasn't so awkward, that he had acted way cooler than he did, and how breathtaking your smile was when you spoke to him and his son.

On his drive home all he could think about was you and his son, ping ponging back and forth between the two. Steve wishes that he met you before today, maybe in the coffee shop on Main or in line at the grocery store. He wishes that he would be able to ask for your number and take you out without any consequences brought on by the school.

He doesn't know how he's going to last a full year with Danny in school and he's really not sure how he can manage to keep a professional conversation with you every morning without falling in love.

The low hum of Rod Stewart's "Rhythm of My Heart" plays through the car, the soundtrack to Steve's drive home.

Ah, the rhythm of my heart

Is beatin' like a drum

With the word's I love you

Rollin' off my tongue

"Fuuuuuuck," His voice drags out in the safety of his car, "I'm screwed."

Yeah, he was definitely screwed.

The ending feels rushed and it's not good but I hope you still enjoy! love you all :)

[sarawritestories]

Remember Me

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: Reader's Grandmother's memory is deteriorating. When Gram has an aggressive episode, Reader falls apart at the realization she is losing her best friend. She misses family dinner and Cassian feels the devastation through the bond checks on her.

Content Warning: Memory loss of a loved one, Death of a loved one, crying.

A/N: I've been thinking about my favorite Angel lately and apparently I needed to get some feelings out. Some of these are based off real memories though its mostly fiction but the love for my gram is real! I cried a lot while writing this, so please be kind.

ACOTAR Masterlist

“What are you doing here?” My Gram sneered. I stood frozen mouth agape, Madja warned me things had begun deteriorating quickly. I just hadn’t realized that it was impacting her personality. Her voice brook me from my thoughts, “Well, what do you want? Why are you here?” I took a sharp breath for the first time in my entire life my gentle loving grandmother held ire in her eyes, and they were glaring down at me. It wasn’t always that way.

“I win!” A younger me howled as I cleared my hand of card. My grandmother smiled and snapped her fingers in mock disappointment.

She opened up her arms and I ran right into them, her scent of cookies we made earlier and clean soap filled my nose. Home. She was my home, “Good job, my lil’ Princess.” She kissed my cheek with her pink lipstick smudging my cheek.

I grinned widely, “Can we play again?”

Gram let me go and started reaching for the Cards, “Let’s play.”

My chest felt tight, and I doubled checked to make sure that the bond was shielded on my end, not wanting to worry your mate. Her face held nothing but rage and fear of a stranger in her room. It was like a whole different person. Shaking the surprise of her behavior I took a breath, and reached out to her, “Gram.”

She swatted my hand her she yelled, “Don’t touch me, where’s my granddaughter? What have you done with her?!” I froze and blinked and blinked once more. “Healer! Healer!” She looked back at me and the broken sound of her scream, “Get out! GET. OUT.”

I bolted out the door and ran into Madja who was rushing in as I was speeding out. She gripped my arms, “Are you alright?” the healer’s brows knitted together in concern. Not trusting myself to speak I shook my head. “Her condition is worsening. There is nothing I can do. She’s fading fast I fear she may only have a few more weeks with us.”

I stepped out of her grip as the news sunk in. I dodged her attempt at an embrace and sprinted home. My legs wanted to give out, but I pushed forward and was trying to keep myself together. I ran through the door, and once I was in the confines of my home, I slid down the front door and fell apart. Tucking my legs to my chest I buried my face into my knees as sobs racked through me. Memories of my childhood, flooding to surface.

Laughter filled the room as Gram, and I were baking cookies and dancing in her kitchen. As she spun me around, we heard the door slam open. Male voices filled the room and Gram gave me a knowing smile, as excitement bubbled over as Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand barged through the kitchen. I had met Rhys in school, and he introduced me to his brothers when they would come to visit Velaris the four of us becoming fast friends and Gram had instantly welcomed them in her home and required them to visit before they went back to the Illyrian camps whether I was here or not.

The moment I saw Cassian’s shaggy hair I leapt into his arms. Quick to hold me, he gripped onto me in a bone crushing hug his wings tucked in, He turned to face Rhys and Azriel. “See, Princess, here knows how to say hello.” He kissed my check and gave me a full grin, “Hello, Princess.” I rolled my eyes as he put me down. He heard Gram call me that once and had not stopped calling me that. There was a point where it stopped bothering me and I began to enjoy it.

“Stop flirting with my grandchild and give your gram a hug,” Cassian put me down and gave her a hug, kissing the top of her head as I hugged Rhys and Az. Gram laughed, “I swear every time you three come home you get bigger.”

Rhys and Az both walked over and hugged her as one of Az’s shadows sneaked him some cookie dough. Gram playfully swats at him, “The fresh ones are on the cooling rack.”

The boys all lunged for the cookies. When I elbowed them for one of my own, I frowned as they cleared the way and found they took them all.  I sighed crossing my arms as two muscular hands caged me close to his chest delicious cookies in my line of sight. “Help me out, Princess.”

I smiled and grabbed both treats from his hands. He casually snaked his arms around my waist pulling me closer, whispering in my ear, “One day, when we are exchanging Gram’s cookies to accept the mating bond.”

I leaned my head on his chest taking a bite of the baked good, “Bold of you to assume we will be mated one day.”

He kissed the pointed part of my ear, “I’m not assuming smart ass. I’m just hopeful.”

There was a lot of laughter that caused my gaze to drift to the table where Gram was smirking behind the cards she was holding in her hand as Azriel’s shadows passed out the cards. I placed my hand over his, “Me too.”

~Later that day~

The house was almost quiet, the not so soft sounds of the three Illyrian’s snoring. I walked into the dining room where Gram patted the seat next to her. Taking the open seat her hand found mind giving it a comfort squeeze. “Time for girl talk.” I perked up as this was My favorite time of the day where it was just the two of us talking about all topics. She leaned over and watched the three soon to be warriors snoozing in her living room. “They are good males, Y/N. Promise me that you four will take care of each other when the time comes for me to see your grandfather again.”

My brow furrowed, “Of course. Though that won’t be until centuries, right?” Gram patted my hand.

“Yes, Princess, though I do miss your grandfather very much. I long to be in his arms again. Hopefully one day the mating bond will snap between you and a certain Illyrian when you are old and gray you will understand where I’m coming from.

I took a glance over at the sleeping long haired mail. His face so peaceful in his sleep. The stress of the world is no longer at the forefront of his brain. “Gram, do you think we could be mates?”

Gram grinned, “I do, it will snap in the right time.”

“I hope you’re there for the mating ceremony if it does.” I say leaning my head on her shoulder.

She laid her head on top of mine, her curls grazing my forehead. “Me too, Princess. Me too.”

I had no memories of moving from leaning on the door to lying down on the floor. I felt like I was drowning in my tears and was swept in the undertow. I heard a soft-landing upstairs and the boom of a male voice, “Princess!” He ran down the stairs, “Princess, where are- “He abruptly stop and then his hazel eyes meet mine, “Baby. What’s wrong, are you hurt?” He scanned me for injuries, and he cupped my face wiping my tears.

“Cass.” I hiccupped and he picked me up off the floor and carried me to the couch in our living room. “Why are you here?”

He snorted, “Leave it to my mate to ask me why I am in my own home.” He sat down and held me on his lap, my head laid on his shoulder and I could feel concern down the bond. “You put your shield down on the bond and I felt your overwhelming sadness. Then Madja told Rhys you visited Gram.” A fresh wave of tears started, and Cassian ran his fingers through my hair. “She wouldn’t tell him details but I could put it together.

“She’s dying Madja, said she only has months. Today she didn’t recognize me, “I whispered as Cass pulled me closer to him and pressed his lips to my forehead. “She asked what I did with her granddaughter. I’ve never seen such anger in her eyes.” I began to sob again and buried my face in Cassian’s neck.

Cassian rubbed my back and made sure to cocoon me in his wings, whispering soothing words in my ear. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. What can I do? Should I get Rhys and Az?” I shook my head.

“Just hold me. Please.” I clung closer to him gripping his leather tight and his free hand wrapped around mine.

“Of course, Princess.” Cassian kept rubbing against my skin and humming a little tune that lulled me to a dreamless slumber.

Cassian and I finally reached Gram’s table after the mating ceremony, she gave me a smile and kissed my cheek and Cassian kissed the top of her head. “You look lovely dear.” Gram patted my head confusion sparked in the elder fae female’s eyes. “What’s the occasion?”

I tilted my head, “Gram, we talked about this yesterday. My mating ceremony today.” I exchanged a worried glance to Cassian to find his face mirrored mine, his hand gripping mine a little more tight than normal.

Gram’s face lit up, “Oh how wonderful, I knew you would find your mate, who is the lucky fella.” She asked and her question was genuine and true.

Cassian bent down and gripped Gram’s hand, “It’s me Gram, Cassian. You’re favorite Illyrian.” He smiled.

She patted his cheek, “Well you’re so handsome, are you going to take care of my pretty princess,” clearly the memory of him asking for her blessing gone.

Cassian kissed her hand, “Yes and I will make sure she is well cared for ma’am.” It took everything in me not to burst into tears. I felt Az and Rhys behind me, and Cass must have too, “Rhys and Az will too. We made you promise to be there for each other. We’re going to keep it.”

Gram nodded her head in approval and saw the two handsome males behind me. “Oh hello, aren’t you two handsome fellas too.”

Rhys and Azriel gave a sad smile and instead of dancing the four of us sat around my favorite person and just talked about our lives and our adventures and she started talking about me but like she was a stranger. “My granddaughter, she’ll find a mate one day and I hope her mate loves her like you love yours, Sir.” She spoke to Cassian, and I could see his own heart breaking.

He squeezed my hand under the table, “I’m sure she will and the male or female that does will make her feel like the most important person in the world.” We spent the first night of our mating ceremony holding each other and crying over the interaction.

~A month Later~

We were having brunch with our friends, as I tried not to think of the looming cloud of losing my Gram. Rhys came into the dining room of the river house with a somber look on his face. His gaze met mine, and suddenly the food in my mouth turned to ash. “Madja just reached me. She says its urgent.” Dread pooled in my stomach. “It’s about Gram.”

Cassian’s wing curved around me, I swallowed my food and tried to level my breathing, I felt the cool kiss of Azriel’s shadow around my ankle. “It’s time, isn’t it?” Rhys’ eyes lined silver, and he nodded.

The four of us and Feyre were around her, her breathing was labored, but her eyes for the first time were cleared. Madja had informed me she is lucid and that she most likely had enough fight to say goodbye. She said it was a rare to see in memory loss severe as hers but it can happen. “My, you four have grown up.” Her eyes reach Feyre. “Rhys who is that lovely lady?”

Rhys let a tear fall down his cheek, and held out his hand for Feyre to take, “This is my mate, Gram. This is Feyre.”

Gram weakly raised her hand and Feyre took it. “You keep this boy in line okay, he always tries to get into trouble.”

She smiled and squeezed Rhys’ hand, “I will, Ma’am.”

She pointed to Rhys, “And you, take care of this beautiful female, don’t let her go.” He held her hand for his and he knelt to take it. “You have been an outstanding High Lord. Your momma, would be proud.”  Cassian pulled me close as Rhys nodded and kissed her head, whispering in her ear.

Azriel stepped forward next and Gram’s smile brightened, “My shadowsinger.” He gripped his hands, “You are so strong and so brave, but it’s your kindness and your loyalty that sets you apart. And if a partner of yours can’t see that or appreciate you, they are not worth your time.” She cupped his face and he leaned into it kissing her palm, “Also tell those shadows of yours to stay away from my lil’ Princesses, cookie dough.” Azriel laughed through the tears and promised also kissing her forehead.”

Gram’s eyes met mine, then Cassian’s as if she could see the gold bond that tethers our hearts together, “I always knew you two would be together.” She smiled and opened her arms and Cassian released his grip and I ran into her arms. Sobbing into her night gown. “Oh lil’ princess, don’t cry over this old bag of bones. Your grandfather, came to me yesterday, and told me to come home soon.” I sobbed hard and she soothed my hair. “Shhh, Cassian come here.” My general steps forward and she grips his hand. “I am so proud of you. My sweet Cassian. You have grown into a fine male. Take care of her you hear me?”

“Don’t worry Gram, our Princess is well cared for. I’ll make sure it stays like that.”

“Good.” She pulls me away from her shoulder and walks her shoulder, “Remember what I said all those years ago. Take care of your boys. You’re all each other has now.” She coughs and I gripped her hand in mine. “If there is one thing, I’m most proud of in this life. It’s being your grandmother.”

I whimpered and sniffled, “Being your granddaughter is mine.”

“I love you more than the stars in the sky, my lil’ Princess.”

‘I love you too.” I whispered as I held her hand in my mind and watched as she leaned back her breathing labored, as if her conversation with us cost her so much. Cassian gripped my shoulder as we watched as her breathing slowed and it stopped all together. Her hand loosened in mine, and I couldn’t hear her heartbeat anymore, and the scream that erupted from my chest was broken.

Cassian grabbed me and pulled me to his chest, rocking me as his own tears soaked my hair. The room was filled with sniffles and hiccups for what felt like hours and Cassian had held me tightly.

It was Rhys’ voice soft and somber that pulled me away from Cassian’s chest to look at my High Lord, my brother, “Cauldron save you. Mother hold you.”

He walks toward the bed grabbing the blanket, and Az voice joins him, “Pass through the gates, and smell that immortal land of milk and honey.”

Cassian was the one who joined next as Rhys raised the blanket tenderly over her face, “Fear no evil. Feel no pain.”

I wiped my tears as there was a pause and the three of them looked at me and I felt a light hand intertwined with mine. Feyre looked at me eyes lined with silver understanding in her gaze as she led me to my grandmother and through my tears I finished the prayer, “Go and enter Eternity.”

[cawthorntales]

"Hello my name is Brendon Holland. I'm a thirty year old spellcaster who lives in Ravenwood. I love writing and have a few books published. I'm also a cat lover. My cat Tulip is my best friend and my familiar. She goes everywhere with me.

I love the rain and cool crisp autumn days. I also enjoy staying active and working out. I love the color purple. I am not a fan of the beach. Beaches bring back bad memories.

If you're getting this tape then I assume you are looking for love. My enchantment on it was meant to find single Johnny Zests and give them the opportunity to be on my bachelor show and bring them to this universe. I know this may seem like a lot, but once this tape ends it'll clear itself to allow you to film your own video telling me about you. Once I recived your video and watch it my left behind magic will pull you into my universe if you wish it to.

I look forward to meeting you all. Hopefully one of you can be my second chance at love.

~

Information. Read all.

Read these two posts to get a feel for what this is. https://cawthorntales.tumblr.com/post/765115393791737856/johnny-zest

I received some interest and positive feedback so decided to try this long buried idea.

Contestant must be Johnny Zest.

You are allowed to make slight edits to him. Just don't go overboard. He still needs to be recognizable as Johnny Zest.

CC is fine.

I own Cottage Living, Werewolves, Cats and Dogs, Romantic Garden Stuff and I will have Life and Death by the time this starts.

Must have a bio.

I picked six versions of Johnny so as to avoid people accidentally making the same/similar AU Johnny. However if you want to enter and have a Johnny not listed message me and let me know and you can do that Johnny instead of one the below mentioned ones.

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Slots

Claimed. Punk Johnny: Johnny who rebelled against his parents and became everything they hated. His parents cut him off or they still try to "fix" him. @weisskralle

Claimed. Business Tycoon Johnny: Johnny who gave up his dreams to be what his parents wanted and became a bitter money hungry business tycoon. @none-of-these-days

Jock Johnny: This Johnny has always been about gains and body building. The family business never interested him. His parents cut him off.

Claimed. Poor Johnny: This Johnny's parents never had money, but he grew up loved and encouraged to chase his dreams. @changingplumbob

Claimed. Werewolf Johnny: This Johnny was born into the most prestigious Werewolf pack in Moonwood Mill. His parents planned his whole life for him. A life he didn't want. @ravingsockmonkey

Claimed. Farm Boy Johnny(think country boy): This Johnny was born and raised on his families farm. The farm has been in his family for generations and someday he is expected to take over. @akitasimblr